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#sirius is so oblivious
srs-moonage · 1 year
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sirius as a vampire
remus *he saw Sirius biting his victim in his library: oh my god!
sirius: h-huh?
remus *sweating*: can't you see that sign? *points the sign that says “No food allowed inside the library”
sirius *utterly confused stands straight, dragging his victim*: oh... sorry, sorry! It won't happen again:)
remus, annoyed: as it should!
sirius after he got out of the library as he already figured out what's confusing him: wait... what the fuck?! HEY, ISN'T HE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME?
meanwhile, Remus: Oh my god, that scared me! I almost blurted out he's so hot!
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WolfStar is disgustingly cuddly, even though Sirius is, typically, quite averse to physical contact (traumatized and physically abused) and Remus isn’t too touchy (scared people will find out his secret). The running excuse is that Remus is cold all the time (true) and Sirius doesn’t care (untrue) and is always warm (true). Before they go public with their relationship, everyone is mind boggled.
“You don’t care… that Moony is, quite literally, sitting in your lap, inside your jumper with you.”
“Why would I care?”
“One time, Marlene hugged you from behind without sufficient warning and you didn’t let anyone touch you for a week straight.”
“And?”
“… And now you and Moony have been cuddling for well over an hour, but you’re still sitting there doing nothing about it?”
“Astute observation, Prongs.”
“Y’know, Si, if you want me to move—”
“Who the fuck said I wanted you to move?”
“Well, James is right— you don’t usually like—”
“You’re cold, I’m warm. You’re all cuddled in. We’re both comfortable. Why should you move? That makes no sense, Moons.”
“Yeah, you’re right. That doesn’t make sense. I’ll stay here.”
“But? Padfoot? Hates? Being? Touched?”
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that-bitch-kat3 · 2 months
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sometimes i’m reading a wolfstar fic and they’re so oblivious that i have to take a little break to slam my head through a wall.
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adharastarlight · 11 months
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The James Oblivious Potter Chronicles Pt1
James: people are so stuipd
Sirius: whats up prongs?
James: someone in potions just said you and moony were dating! Just because he's into dudes and youre gay doesnt mean youre dating?!
Sirius: James-
James: that would be like saying Marls and Cas are dating just because theyre lesbians
Sirius: uhm, James-
James: dont worry, i told them you're just friends
Sirius: WHAT!?
Remus walks in and he looks so hurt and a little pissed: we're... friends now are we?
Sirius: no- no, mon amour- no, james is just a fucking moron
James: what... wait are you two...?
Sirius and Remus: yes!?!
Sirius: for like five months!?!
James: WHAT
Remus: we kiss in front of you all the time???
Sirius: we're constantly holding hands???
Remus: we go on dates like constantly???
Sirius: I told you I want to marry him!?!
James: I thought that was in a best friend way!!!
Sirius:
Remus:
James: wait so are marls and cas...?
Sirius: Yes!!!
Remus: james who the- what- how-
James: WHO ELSE!?!
Sirius: crouch and rosier, pandora and emmeline, lily and mary???
James: ohhhh... what about Regulus?
Remus, grinning: no one, why?
James:
Sirius:
James: so you guys are dating, should i... buy you a plant?
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shipspainfulships · 2 months
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James: *wearing a green tie*
Sirius: ...Prongs?
James: Yeah mate?
Sirius: whose tie are you wearing?
James: mine? What are you- *looks down*
*Regulus comes in with a red tie in his hands*
Sirius: Reggie! Where did you find James' tie.....and where is yours?
James: 🧍🏾‍♂️
Regulus: 🧍🏻‍♂️
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starchaserdreams · 5 months
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I see your "Sirius and Remus were the last people to know they were dating" and raise you a "Regulus was the only person to realize Sirius and Remus were dating" because even at a distance he knows his brother better than anyone
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elilelibeli · 29 days
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“Prongs you are dating my brother.”
“What? Sirius what are you talking about, why are you even asking this?
“James, notice how I am not asking you a question. I am informing you, you are dating my brother.”
“Sirius what are you talking about me and Regulus are just friends”
“James, you haven’t had your morning run alone in months, you know his lunch orders from all the places around his office. He cooked you soup everyday when you were sick last month. You go on dates, Prongs.”
“We are friends! These are the things friends do and we do not go on dates!”
“James you literally went to the aquarium together just last weekend. That’s the gayest fucking shit you can do!”
“He wanted to see the new shark”
“James he was your plus one for Effie and Monty’s 30 year wedding anniversary”
“Oh my god I am dating Regulus. Fuck, what the fuck! Does he know? Wait does he even like me?”
“Well, considering you woke up from the couch with him on top of you this morning, i’d say it’s a pretty safe bet he does.”
“I should probably talk to him about this right?”
“Yeah I’d inform him on the recent developments. he is upstairs.”
…….
“Wait James, James don’t fuck my brother in my bed!!!!!!”
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outromoony · 4 months
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Everyone knows (except them)
@wolfstarmicrofic | Word count: 173
"He doesn't like me like that," Remus sighed, glancing at Lily over his book. "He just doesn't. He never could. He never will."
Lily shared a knowing look with James, who sat nearby, his smirk telling a silent story. Sirius, lost in his own world, continued doodling in the margins of his parchment, oblivious to the conversation circling around him.
"Oh, darling." Lily smiled at him, but instead of pity, there was fondness in her eyes. "If only you knew the way he looks at you.
Remus frowned slightly. "How?"
"With stars in his eyes, like you're the moon." She leaned in closer, her voice filled with sincerity. "Like you're the moon, and he's lost in your light."
Remus shook his head, but Lily saw the flicker of doubt in his eyes. She exchanged a subtle, conspiratorial glance with James, silently acknowledging the irony of the situation. Sirius, still unaware, glanced up and caught Remus's eye, a brief moment of tenderness passing between them.
Everyone knew it—everyone but Remus and Sirius themselves.
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pandoras-boxs-world · 8 months
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I wanna write a slow burn wolfstar fanfic, but from James's pov, so the reason it's slow burn is because he's just so oblivious to what's going on with them
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Today's @wolfstarmicrofic prompt is unrequited!
(936 words.)
"Oh, just fuck right off!" Sirius snaps, grip tightening on his butterbeer.
"God, what's gotten into you?" Marlene asks, arching an eyebrow. To be perfectly honest, Sirius doesn't want to talk about it.
James is more than happy to, though.
"Don't worry about him. He's all pissy because of his unrequited love." Sirius' head immediately snaps up, alarmed.
"Prongs," He says, warning. His eyes almost involuntarily dart to Remus for half a second, panic seeping through him. James, however, is teetering on the line between tipsy and drunk, completely missing the hint.
"Mm, completely hung up on some girl, right?" Peter chimes in, and Sirius almost wants to laugh. The urge to drop dead is much stronger, though. To crawl into a hole and say there until this conversation ends.
"Something like that," Sirius says quickly, before turning away from them both. Fingers crossed, he can just shut this down. "Hey, Lily, that potions essay..."
Unfortunately for him, Lily seems just as invested.
"How do you know it's unrequited?" She asks curiously. Remus lifts his head, then, nose out of his book. For some reason, that's what tips him over the edge. He needs everyone to stop. This is difficult enough.
"Because I asked, okay?" He says hurriedly. It causes his friends to lapse into silence, but it's like he's just burst a dam. The explanation starts before he can hold it back. "I asked, and they said no. They said it was a bad idea, we were too close for that."
"Huh," Mary hums.
"What?" Sirius asks with a frown.
"They didn't say they don't like you?" Mary asks, and it really throws Sirius. He hasn't considered that.
"No, not exactly," He muses, frowning. "But why would anyone reject someone they like?"
"Maybe they were scared of ruining the friendship you two have," Remus speaks up gently, almost inaudibly from across the common room; capturing Sirius' attention in less than a second.
"That makes no sense," Sirius says without missing a beat, eyes locking with Remus. "They should know me well enough to know that I wouldn't let that happen. I know they wouldn't. We've survived worse."
From the corner of his eye, he can see confusion flit across James' face at that comment. Yeah, it was a bit of a risky thing to say. He's practically handing James the truth. It doesn't matter, though. Not right now. His eyes are fixed on Remus.
"Depends on what you think is worse. They might be worried about a messy breakup getting in the way."
"No, that can't be it," He says, imploring. The longing to see into Remus' mind, figure out what he means is too strong. He'll have to unravel it this way instead. "If they're already thinking about a breakup, then clearly they don't like me that much. Unrequited." He wants nothing more than to drop the matter now that he's proven his point to himself. Maybe he doesn't need to see inside Remus' mind. He goes to down the rest of his drink, but Remus is shaking his head, and Sirius is losing sight of everyone else in favour of Remus.
"Or they just care too much about you." There's something in Remus' eyes, an ache that Sirius wants to heal.
"Really? Why would they reject me when I told them how I feel, then?!" Sirius asks desperately. It seems to snap Remus' resolve, burst his ambigious speech.
"Because I'm in love with you, Sirius! Okay?! Christ, this isn't just some- some joke, or some experiment to me! You looked me in the eye and told me you liked me, and that- that made me hope, okay? I don't want to hope. To think that you liking me means you'll fall in love with me. I mean," He releases a breathy laugh, seemingly unaware to the way Sirius' world is turning on it's axis, "I'm me, and you're- you're perfect."
He seems to have reached the end of his tangent, pattering out as everyone looks between the two of them, stunned. Sirius searches his brain, which may or may not be short circuiting, for some way to voice his thoughts. There are so many things he could say, so many ways to tell Remus everything, but none of them seem to be enough. Enough to encompass everything. A better solution comes to him as his yearning overwhelms him.
With that, he sets his butterbeer down and crosses the common room. Remus' eyes widen, suddenly unsure, until Sirius pulls himself into Remus' armchair, facing him. He reaches out, pressing a hand against Remus' cheek and finally, finally connecting their lips. It's everything he could have imagined and more.
Remus' lips are soft, warm against his, overwhelmingly perfect, and making Sirius desperate to stay there forever, mapping out every inch of Remus' mouth, the way it fits against his like they should have been doing this forever. It's a feeling Sirius knows he's never going to forget, causing the words he has been desperately repressing for years bubbling up inside him.
"I love you," Sirius murmurs against Remus' lips after a moment. "I love you so much, Moony."
Their eyes meet again, Sirius watching as Remus' eyes go from searching to joyful, a grin splitting across his face. It took a whooping cheer from James to break the spell that Remus' eyes got him in. They both turn to their friends, a laugh escaping Sirius as he drops his head into Remus' shoulder.
"Thank fuck that's sorted, then!" Lily says brightly, a wry smile on her face.
Okay, Sirius is really grateful for his oversharing friends.
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*Sirius, James, and Regulus meet up at a bar*
James: Woah, Reggie you didn't tell me you were going to be here?
Regulus: *turns to Sirius* I thought this was supposed to be a "brother bonding" thing.
James: Oh. He told me we were going out to have fun.
Sirius: And I told Reg here to get here three hours ago!
Regulus: Well... you literally got here 5 minutes ago.
Sirius: EXACTLY I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE ON TIME PRONGS IM SO SMART RIGHT:)?
James: ...how...
Regulus: You've been waiting to say that, haven't you?
Sirius: *has been waiting to say that* Nevermind. I've brought you here to discuss something very important. Now, I won't be upset, but I think you have a secret together...
James+Regulus: *side eyeing each other*
Sirius: You've been planning a surprise birthday party for Remus without me!
James+Regulus: *visibly deflating with relief*
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soupyloopyx · 2 months
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hiking (marauders' version) - part 1
Sirius, looking ahead: this view is beautiful. i think it's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen
Remus, looking at Sirius: no, i'm looking at the most beautiful thing right now
Sirius, blushing: awwwww, remus! you're-
Remus: that lake behind you is MAJESTIC
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lee-isnotcool · 6 months
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Remus: So Sirius introduced me as his boyfriend!
Regulus: finally
Remus: But I think he meant it in the platonic way
Regulus:
Also Regulus: i love you but you're an idiot
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valoflunar · 10 months
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obliviousness to romantic feelings runs through the black family genetics (queue reg and sirius being totally oblivious that they are in love with james and remus and that james & remus are in love with them too)
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adharastarlight · 10 months
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The Oblivious James Potter Chronicles P5
Reg: I wasn't already?
James: you were!?!?
Reg slowly going quite red: I wasn't!?!?
James: no no no no- no no, you were, I- you were!?
Reg: what did you think we were doing!?!??!!
James: I didn't think you even liked me
Reg:
Reg: I call you 'love' all the time???
James: you meant that in a date-y way!?!
Reg: oh mon dieu-
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loserboyfriendrjl · 16 days
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“D’you ever think about your future?” Sirius asks, taking a drag out of his cigarette.
Yes, James wants to answer. Yes, I do, and you’re always in it. A small apartment in London, and as many animals as you want. Or a home far, far away from the world we had grown so accustomed to, just the two of us. Or an apartment on the other side of the world, actually, where no one knows us, where no one can find us. And we can start a life just for us.
Or anything you want, really, as long as it’ll be you. Because in my mind, it’ll always be you.
“I do. You’re always in it,” He managed to muster, then grins; a signature to cover up whatever he’s feeling, although all he ever hides is what he’s feeling towards Sirius. For now; another time, maybe. “Should we move in together?”
“After we graduate?”
“Yeah. Reckon it’s gonna be easier to be around each other that way than if we live in bloody different houses.”
Sirius purses his lips around his cigarette, then knocks his elbow on James’ arm. “Of course,” He says, smiling, putting his fingers and chuckling around his cigarette. “Anything with you, Prongs.”
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