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#six of crows fanfic
kazcreates · 2 days
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Dad Kaz
Kaz Brekker becomes a father by complete accident at the age of 22. Unable to ask Inej to stay to help raise his child, he takes the responsibility upon himself to raise the child while she continues to fulfill her purpose at sea.
Tiny little Jordie Rietveld II trailed after his father like the baby crow he is, never straying too far from the nest. He has his father’s fairer complexion, and his mother’s heart. There are days when Kaz’s son reminds him so much of his younger self, he almost can’t stand it.
Those are the days that little Jordie goes to visit Uncle Jes and Wy at the mansion, while Kaz holes up in his room and tries to breathe through the panic and the grief. The others know not to worry, he’ll be around for tea and to collect his son, when he’s ready.
Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel, carries his son on his shoulders as they navigate the Barrel streets. It’s no place for a boy his age, but nobody is stupid enough to touch a hair on that child’s head, knowing who his family is.
If you enjoy this premise, consider checking out my fic :)
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Finally finished the outline of Daughter of the Rain and Snow and I know exactly how the ending is going down almost pretty much (details are blurry, but plot and character arcs are completely outlined and ready to write instead of just bullet points or vague ideas) so out of interest (won’t necessarily stick to it 100% but would still like to know) what would anyone like to see next if you would like to continue reading my stuff?
Explanations below cut
Sequel
I have every intention to write this one, I have characters but thus far not a main plot more of just the premise. Would follow Ahra, Evan, Yara, maybe Vix, and maybe Lilia as our young Dregs and start around when Kaz and Inej left for Ravka since the Dregs was kinda on the verge of collapse whoops. Can’t go into too much detail or they’ll be spoilers for the current fic but there’d be the opportunity for some Aimee and Kiada, and Kanej would still be present but they might not be in focus (again, can’t explain too much or they’ll be spoilers). There might even be some Fiona or some Maya stuff who knows
I really want to write this bc I really want to write Ahra’s story so it’ll probably end up coming around at some point but I realise it might not be the most interesting to y’all when it’s mostly ocs so yeah
Feliks had been more than lenient with Ahra. He’d been the only person who ever gave her a real job - playing her violin in the reception of the White Rose - and when things had predictably gone haywire he’d been good enough to only turn her away, not Evan too. Ahra hadn’t much cared for the job, she loved her violin but she did not enjoy watching the Rose’s clients come and go and she certainly hadn’t cared for having her skin paled and her hair Tailored white for such purposes, but it was easy money and enough to keep them ticking over as all of Evan’s funds petered away on overpriced little medicine bottles. She studied the thin stack of kruge in her hand, thinking of Kaz standing opposite her in the alley by the Slat.
“I don’t need your charity, Brekker,”
“And far be it from me to offer you any,”
Not charity, but she didn’t doubt Dirtyhands had his own purposes in paying her for a job she failed to finish. Still, cash was cash. And medicine was medicine. She tucked it back into her breast pocket and tapped it lightly, slipping round the corner and pulling a bone light from her jacket.
What Evan didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.
Helnik
This was an idea I had a looooong time ago and I shared a little snippet scene on here, but then I started writing Daughter of the Rain and Snow and never looked back. I really want to write this one I think it could be pretty cool, it would be relatively short set in between Crooked Kingdom and King of Scars and take place in Ravka; based on a headcanon I have about Nina learning how to use her new power and as a result of it experiencing hallucinations of Matthias being with her that she is fully convinced are real. Following Nina, Zoya, and Genya as they try to navigate this and worry that they shouldn’t let Nina got to Fjerda in this state.
“What time is it?” she mumbled into the cushions.
“A little after seven bells,”
“Saints, how disgusting,”
Nina sighed, in a mixture of content and tiredness. The luxury of the Little Palace was a mostly welcome change from crawling in next to Matthias in the tomb at Black Veil - or even of the hotel room at the Geldrenner. They’d shared a sofa, so close to each other; limbs entangled, chest against her back so she could feel his heart beating. A steady rhythm, no matter what he was feeling. The big bed here was more comfortable, but the closeness felt like an aching absence, as though the few feet between them spanned for miles. She reached out behind her and found something soft that she decided was his arm.
“Come closer,” she whispered, and she imagined the way he’d smile.
He would press her fingers to his lips and she would roll over to face him. She’d reach out and touch his cheek, and he would catch her hands in his.
“Witch,”
“Barbarian,”
“Little Red Bird,” he would say, just before his lips met hers
The sunlight would be warm and soft on their skin as they moved closer, as she felt his heart beating beneath her fingers.
But he hadn’t moved. He hadn’t come closer, or kissed her fingers, or brushed his lips against hers. He had not gently pushed her hand down towards his wrist so their fingers could intertwine.
“Matthias?”
Nina made the mistake of rolling over, and began to scream.
Wesper
There’s a line in Crooked Kingdom where Jesper says if Van Eck really couldn’t cope with Wylan not being able to read he could have told people he was blind, the point being that still would’ve been wrong but that everything he’d resorted to was unnecessary and Wylan shouldn’t feel like it was his fault. So this would be an au where Van Eck did exactly that and Wesper attend Ketterdam university together; Wylan grapples with his father being the worst and falling for Jesper as he fears telling him the truth, Jesper grapples with addiction and wanting to stay at university partly for the sake of falling for Wylan.
Jesper leaned in, pushing one of Wylan’s curls back off his face.
“It’s pity you can’t see how beautiful your eyes are,”
Wylan blushed, letting Jesper run his hand over his cheek and tilt his face up towards his own. Jesper leaned forward but then Wylan squirmed, just slightly, and Jesper tensed as he pulled his hand away.
“And me, of course,” he added, letting his voice take on a teasing lilt to brush past the moment, “It’s a shame you don’t know how gorgeous I am,”
Wylan almost smiled, but he had stepped away.
“I- erm,” he brushed his fingers through the lock of hair Jesper had moved and cleared his throat, “Excuse me,”
And then he was gone.
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undiscovered-horizon · 10 months
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"Four Crow Investigation II: Lovebirds' Outfox" - Kaz Brekker x Reader
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[Four Crow Investigation]
☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾
Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi
SUMMARY: Nina and the rest of "crow-vestigators" are not as inconspicuous as they think. Being a little too spiteful for your own good, Kaz and you string them along. What the amateur detectives consider "evidence" of an affair is actually a well-thought-out scenario.
WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.1k
>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<
You stare with amusement as Wylan, Jesper, Inej and Nina are sitting around the table in a hardly inconspicuous manner. They’re leaning so close to each other, their bodies are covering their faces but you don’t need to read their lips or expressions to know exactly what they’re talking about. Meaningful glances, small nudges, animated whispering - none of that escaped your attention.
Then, you feel Kaz squeezing your hand in an attempt to shift your focus from the gossiping friends back to him. His eyebrows are slightly raised in a silent question.
"Do you think they know that we know that they know?" you ask, cringing at the word salad filled with repetitions.
"No," Kaz answers without hesitation. "Considering how long it took them to notice something so obvious, their observation skills are more underwhelming than I had originally thought."
The two of you glance towards your friends once more, left to only guess what tall tales they were making up. Observation skills, Kaz’s voice resounds in your head. Yes, they are good at noticing things they are desperately looking for, so, maybe, if they are looking for crumbs…
"Actually, I have an idea,” you begin in a hushed tone.  Kaz turns to look at you, his expression hardens the moment he notices your mischievous grin. “Up for a bit of roleplay?"
It’s been a wild week for the four Crows. They sat down at a corner table, across the club from you and Kaz talking about something by the bar counter. Absorbed by the conversation, you’re pouring a drink in a record-long time. Your hand hovers above the rum bottle as you’re closely listening to Kaz saying something. Then, to the surprise of the gossip club, you erupt in laughter.
Jesper frowns. “I’m telling you, there’s two of them. She gets the nice Kaz, we get the mean one.”
“No, the mean Kaz is still inside,” Inej refutes. “The nice one is making an effort to bury him but he’s definitely in there. Saw it myself.”
He turns back towards the group. Jesper puts his finger up in a warning gesture and speaks slowly: “Do not tell me Kaz Brekker is a knight in shining armour because there is no way I’m treating that as anything but a bad joke. I’m barely believing the stuff I’ve seen with my own two eyes.”
“N-no, there is some truth to that,” Wylan interjects. “I didn’t see him get angry,” he quickly adds, ”just… strangely protective.”
“So we can agree,” Nina says with expected giddiness, “there is passion in the perpetually grim Kaz Brekker.”
Jesper squints his eyes with suspicion. “I hate the fact that you used passion and Kaz in the same sentence but at the same time I’m curious why.”
“Oh, you’re going to love it!” She taps the table excitedly. “I’ll go first.”
╚ Nina’s Evidence ╝
You’re pacing around the office, jumping from one leg to another, shaking and fidgeting as much as you can without making much noise. While preparing to fool the Heartrender’s power, you’re ensuring that you look the part:
“Is this obscene enough?” you ask unbuttoning your shirt further. Tugging at your clothing, you’re making yourself look even more disheveled. Even the smallest sound outside the office door makes you jump as you’re impatiently waiting for a certain creek of one of the steps.
Kaz doesn’t answer. His watchful eyes are following your movements as he’s focusing on keeping his attention on the task at hand. That bright mind of his, however, fights relentlessly to memorize your unkempt look instead.
Not hearing him respond to your question, you turn around to look at Kaz. Leaning against the desk, he’s just staring at you with a quite inexplicable intensity. His unspoken passion is only making the voice in the back of your head louder: what if it was Him undoing my shirt?
But you stifle this thought. It’s not the time for this. Searching for distraction, you look at Kaz’s collar - the first two buttons are undone but they make him appear more sleepy rather than caught red handed at a moment of weakness.
“May I?” you ask, gesturing towards his garment.
“Go ahead,” he quietly answers. There’s a lot of trust in his lack of movement and calmness about your closeness.
Carefully, you grab the hem of his collar and open his shirt further, while making sure your fingers do not even graze the bare skin underneath, despite the urge sitting deep inside your abdomen. Then, you take a step back, examining his general state and whether it sets a believable scene. A proud smile creeps onto your face.
“You’re really enjoying this,” Kaz states.
“Actually,” you say as you lean against the table, fairly unaware that because of your disheveled clothing your cleavage is significantly more visible, “I’d be enjoying this little scheme a lot more if we were in fact being scandalous.”
Whether that was your objective or not, Kaz’s heartbeat picks up noticeably, his rogue mind flashing explicit images before his eyes.
A creek of stairs.
You and Kaz give each other a meaningful glance and you push the paperweight off the desk, knowing that Nina can hear it. The door swings open and you’re immediately in character, looking away with the most embarrassed expression you could muster.
Kaz clears his throat. “Is there a reason why you’re barging in?”
Nina looks a bit lost, still piecing together what she might have just interrupted. “I… uhm… I talked with Lizzie Hardy. She’s in, we can count on her.”
“Understood,” he says in a low, firm voice. “Now go. And learn to knock.”
A half-grin enters her face as she gets rid of any doubts as to what the two of you had been presumably occupied with before she entered. With a skip to her step, Nina throws a “You bet I will!” before leaving the office. She’s quite sure no one will have a better gossip than her.
╚ Wylan’s Evidence ╝
Wylan is startled by your yelp of pain, almost dropping the delicate vial in his hands. His focus immediately shifts to you, who is now frowning with your hand raised slightly above your head. A string of curses leaves your mouth as you check the wound again - yes, still there and still bleeding.
Right, bleeding.
“Are you okay?” he asks in a worried tone. Part of you feels guilty for fooling Wylan because of the sheepiness he wears most of the time but, on the other hand, he is part of the gossip girl club. This little scheme is just a consequence of his choice.
“Yeah, no problem. I’m a big girl, I’ll just wrap this and I’ll be fine,” you answer casually.
Pretending to look for something that can work as a bandage, you’re praying that Wylan can’t smell the cranberry preserve slowly dripping down your forearm. There’s an urge deep inside you to lick the jam, almost tasting the sweet and sour fruit in your imagination.
Kaz, who was waiting for the well-played-out yelp, rushes into the room with a grim expression. The moment he’s supposed to notice your injury, he makes a show of dropping his shoulders. He’s not saying anything, only giving short sighs and annoyed grunts as he reaches for a random rag laying around. 
“I’d advise against cutting off your fingers,” he says loud enough for Wylan to hear as he’s tightening the wrapped rag around your palm. "You need to be more ca-" Kaz cuts himself off, suddenly realizing he was about to use an off-limits word. "You need to pay attention to what you're doing."
Looking over Kaz’s shoulder, you see Wylan nervously glancing at the two of you out of the corner of his eyes. Jesper is going to hear world-shattering news in the next hour - on that you can safely bet any number of limbs.
╚ Jesper’s Evidence ╝
Too busy retelling what he had learned while following Lizzie Hardy, Jesper doesn’t notice the tiny signal you give Kaz while the three of you are walking through the streets of Ketterdam.
Air, cobblestone, a lost dog - it doesn’t matter. You stumble over something but ever watchful Kaz manages to grab you by the waist, preventing you from falling. To be honest, until this moment you weren’t completely sure this is going to work out because you never practiced this with Kaz. Well, you did, once, but the two of you got significantly distracted early on. So the plan to outfox Nosy Jesper was a leap of faith - literally and figuratively.
Jesper, the man in question, halted his story as he’s watching the unbelievable occurrence of Kaz having a caring reflex. For a moment he considers whether this wasn’t some kind of miraculous coincidence but on the other hand, the movement looked so natural and purposeful that it simply had to be deliberate.
Standing on your own, you look towards Jesper, who’s still staring at you and Kaz with furrowed eyebrows and his mouth slightly agape. “You were saying?” you coax him to continue as though nothing happened.
“Yes, right, the thing,” he stutters out as he’s trying to remember what he was talking about before seeing something so strange he’s questioning his own sanity.
╚ Inej’s Evidence ╝
Due to the late hour, or rather an hour so late it can be considered early, the club is deserted except for you and Kaz sitting by the bar. He’s silently watching your profile as you’re applying another layer of theatrical paint and makeup.
“Does it look realistic?” you ask for the hundredth time while examining the bruise in a small hand-held mirror.
“It’s good enough.”
You set down the mirror and look at him. To a degree, you know he won’t agree to your proposition but you try anyway, just to make sure:
“Maybe you could hit me?” you suggest. His expression grows colder. “Just for good measure. To really sell this,” you add in your own defense, as though there is a possibility of him retaliating for such a ridiculous proposition. Even when furious beyond imagination, you’ve heard him yell exactly once out of anger.
He leans closer towards you. Paradoxically, it’s you who is uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy but maybe the uneasiness is not due to the proximity but the chilling tension that has sprouted between the two of you. Kaz studies your expression for a moment, his jaw relaxes and clenches over and over again as he’s clearly pondering the earthiest way he can put his thoughts into words.
“I will never raise my hand against you,” his voice is quiet and wavering with emotions, “even if my life depends on it. So don’t ask again. Ever.”
Suddenly, you feel strangely small next to him as though Kaz is but a shadow that quickly grows larger as candlelight dims. “Right, sorry,” you answer awkwardly.
The door to the club opens with a creek and the nervous conversation has to be cut short. You cover your face with hands, having rubbed some chili seeds into your palms earlier. As the capsaicin reaches your nostrils and eyes, forcing yourself to cry is easier than ever. Pretending to be agonizing over something, you keep reminding yourself not to actually touch your eyes or nose.
You can’t see her face but you’re sure Inej is wearing a worried or confused expression and you’re quite correct in your guess - she walks towards you and Kaz with apprehension as though she’s still wondering whether she wants to intrude. Inej momentarily grows anxious, noticing the vibrant bruise on the side of your face.
Then, in a truly dramatic fashion, Kaz gets up from the bar stool and storms out of the club as you had agreed beforehand. While he’s passing Inej, she calls out to him:
“Kaz-”
But he’s quick to cut her off in a harsh voice:
“Not now, Inej.”
The door closes behind him with a slam and considering the state of the two of you, she prefers not to ask questions. It will be easier to sleep at night.
“They’re staring,” you inform Kaz while pouring him a drink.
“As far as I know, they have a reason to,” he answers, taking a sip of the beverage. His eyes are boring into you like his trying to look past your skin and bones, into your mind if not your very soul.
A wide smile brightens your face. You lean on the counter, face close to Kaz’s. Although it’s been some time, it still makes your heart flutter that he doesn’t move away. Perhaps it’s just his unreadable expression or maybe he really is unbothered by the proximity.
“To be honest, I enjoyed our little theatrics.” Smiling at him, your teeth glisten in the dim light inside the club.
“You make an impressive con artist, I have to admit.”
“Ah, forget the con part,” you wave your hand in dismissal. “It was entertaining, alright, but the best part was just spending time with you.”
Kaz almost chokes on his drink.
____ @moonstruckpoet @shara-ne @queenkalico
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meadowscarlet · 1 year
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inflicted desire ━━━ kaz brekker.
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pairings: kaz brekker x fem!reader.
summary: you were simply a crow and nina's closest friend, but kaz doesn't understand why he feels the need to be near you or protect you when you can protect yourself; he is closed off and unreadable, and he couldn't articulate his feelings properly, until you were hurt on the job.
warnings: the normal six of crows shenanigans.
author’s note: a reposted fic. do not copy, post on another site, translate or claim any of my works as your own or you will be reported! nav.
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Kaz Brekker did not make mistakes. He was a thief, not a fool, the Dregs' leader, and Ketterdam's most notorious man. He had a sharp intellect and was astute; no one ventured to cross him out of fear, or they were rational enough not to.
His plans were meticulous, and if something went wrong (which was unlikely), he had hundreds of backup plans ready to go. And everything went well, but there was a glimmer of realization that Kaz had made the biggest mistake of his life. It was bothering him, and he had a nagging feeling of uneasiness.
If he had merely noted when he met you—charming and intriguing—when he visited the House of the White Rose to inform Nina about a job; he should have simply ignored you when you passed him in the hall without a second glance, but Kaz had been effectively intrigued.
Nina told him that you were her closest friend and the one person in the White Rose who kept her sane. Nina was cautious, with a guarded gleam in her eyes and a reluctance that could get you killed in Ketterdam, when Kaz inquired whether you had any skills.
Nina had given Kaz a sharp gaze and said, “Recruiting her in the Dregs is dangerous.”
“Nina dear,” Kaz drawled. “It's dangerous everywhere in Ketterdam. And I think your friend would appreciate getting out of here every now and then.”
Nina told Kaz about your bewitching qualities with a little more trepidation. You were charismatic, a pretty face and a cunning smile that could tempt wealthy merchants to give you kruge and a wise convincer. Nina also mentioned that you had good combat skills. Kaz Brekker had smirked at the time, his thoughts racing. He was well aware that he needed you on his team.
That was his very first mistake. You were good at your work—you did a brilliant job and Kaz knew you were a terrific addition to the Dregs—but as the days passed, he began to have an underlying feeling inside him that he quickly dismissed whenever you were there. Kaz often wondered if he should have heeded Nina's advice about not recruiting you in the Dregs, but he'd been blinded by his curiosity, and he bitterly regretted it.
He recalled one mission in which they were meant to spy on a handful of Pekka Rollins' men. Kaz remembered how meticulously he had prepared for this; he had gone over blueprints over and again until his eyes were weary, but he would not rest—never. Kaz was scrupulous with his plotting especially since it involved Pekka Rollins.
When there's a lovely girl around and they're inebriated, men are simple to seduce. So, of course, your main task was to play the inquisitive girl, allowing men to reveal their drunken secrets while you sat, looking pretty. Despite the fact that you were skilled in this vicinity, Kaz didn't like the plan, but he needed Inej on the roofs and Nina by the door, so you were left as an option.
As he saw you woo one of Rollins guys, he felt a prickling sensation inside him. You were dressed in a velvety white dress that accentuated your contours; you stood out in the darkness of Ketterdam, and you shone brightly. Kaz may not believe in Saints, but he was convinced you were one by the radiance of your smile and dress.
He despised seeing you sitting on a drunk Dime Lion man's lap, and Kaz noticed you looked uneasy, so he fought the impulse to smash the man's head with his cane until his skull cracked satisfyingly. He reminded himself that this was a job, and he needed to do his part. Despite your unsettled expression, he could see your ears perk up, and that's when Kaz recognized the man had begun to speak.
Kaz watched you giggling and touching the man's forearm while drinking your drink; you were playing your part wonderfully as usual. And it all happened very quickly; when the drunken man leaned close to you, another man approached him to stop him, and Kaz realized the man knew who you were.
The man had said something to the inebriated man, and the latter had suddenly sobered up, and Kaz realized chaos had occurred. Because of the drink you drank, you appeared tipsy, but Kaz could see how your eyes flared in terror and your gaze immediately darted to him.
Kaz had set out on foot to get you, but Nina had beaten him to it. Nina had grasped your wrist and pulled you away in alarm before the man could grab you. Shots were being fired, and Kaz could see Jesper rousing his revolters to fire back at the men who were shooting at you and now at Jesper.
Kaz was so concentrated on the men and the bullets that he missed you limping in Nina's arms as he pulled his own gun. Nina wore a worried expression on her face and was essentially bearing half your weight. And Kaz could see it: there was blood on your abdomen that was obvious and evident through the white of your dress. As Kaz focused on you, gunshots faded into the background, and he was startled out of his reverie when Jesper told them to leave.
He didn't normally listen to Jesper because he was the one who gave the directions and commands, but now his feet followed Jesper's, his leg jerking in pain as he hobbled, yet his step was swift. He remembered the blood on your adobem, the way Nina's eyes widened, and he was filled with dread. It was terrifying. Since Jordie, he hasn't felt like this in years.
Kaz knew Inej was close behind him, quiet and concealed like the Wraith she is, as his Crows hurried to the Slat. As you limped beside Nina, Kaz could see you being held by her, and he turned to Jesper, a sensation inside him that he didn't want to convey.
“Run after Nina," Kaz rasped coldly. “Help her with Y/N.”
Jesper didn't need to say anything else as he ran to Nina, and when he caught up with both girls, he grabbed your waist and helped half of your weight as Nina and Jesper carried you to the Slat. Kaz despised hearing a hint of fragility in his voice, but Jesper didn't seem to mind.
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It didn't matter to Kaz if Nina could hear his rapid heartbeat. Kaz saw that the others were watching him as his eyes swept you laying on your bed with Nina mending your wound. Even though your face was pale and your breathing was unsteady, you were alive, Kaz was not soothed. Despite her concerns, Nina had been firm, requesting medical equipment from Matthias, who had followed orders.
Kaz isn't concerned about the Rollins information right now; all he wants is for you to be alright. He remembered your eyes widening in panic and searching for his first. He swallowed a lump in his throat and shook his head, focusing on you instead. And there was so much blood, Kaz gripped his cane tightly in his fist.
“Heal her,” he murmured.
Nina gave him a cold stare. “I'm trying, Kaz, but there's just too much blood.”
“I don't care,” Kaz said icily, his gaze matching hers. “Zenik, heal her.”
Inej had left, but not before praying to her Saints for you to be well. Jesper walked away as well, noticing the gloom in Kaz's voice and Nina's gaze. Matthias was retrieving more medical supplies, creating a tense atmosphere with only a feverish Kaz, an anxious but indignant Nina, and an alive yet barely Y/ N.
“You should leave, l'll get to you once l'm done,” Nina remarked as she resumed working in your wounded abdomen.
Kaz stood firm in his position. “I'm not going anywhere.”
With a shake of her head, Nina replied, “Your heartbeat is distracting me.” Kaz noticed her hand quivering. “I can sense your nerves, Brekker, and it doesn't help that l'm worried about her as well.”
He was terrified; he had shown vulnerability, and Nina had noticed. She knew he cared about you, and he had never experienced anything like it with anybody else. When Inej was stabbed, Jesper was shot, or Matthias, Wylan, and Nina were hurt, Kaz's heart didn't rush as rapidly. It was always you who made his heart race with nerves and a need to protect you if you were harmed.
When Kaz glanced at your hand, palm up, he felt compelled to grasp it. Not Jesper, who had brought you to the Slat, or even Nina, who stroked your hair away from your face every now and then, but he should be the one holding you and aiding you. But Kaz knew that idea alone was impossible; he couldn't think about it without shivering with distaste, so he stayed, a safe distance away, with a tremendous desire to hold you.
Nina fixed her gaze on him. “I assume she'll be a little hazy when she wakes up, so don't ask her any questions about the information.”
“I don't give a damn about the information,” Kaz remarked indifferently.
Kaz despised the mischievous glimmer in her eyes as she shot him a shocked glance. “Kaz Brekker not caring about the information that's about Pekka Rollins? Somebody pinch me.”
He gave her a skeptical look as he rolled his eyes. “Keep her alive by doing your work, Nina dear.”
Nina shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes were gloomy. “She's not dead, Kaz,” she said with a shake of her head. “Since the blood loss, she'll be unconscious, but she'll be fine—she usually is.”
Kaz nodded in agreement. What Nina said was right; it was not uncommon for someone in the Crows to be hurt—it happens all the time, especially during heists and jobs—but the jobs were mostly successful, and Kaz had been blunt in assigning you the safest task (charming people) because a selfish part of him wanted you to be in the middle of the job so he could keep an eye on you.
But, despite his composed demeanor, he seemed to crumble everywhere around you. Perhaps you had charmed him, as you had charmed so many others, by bewitching him with your entire being, causing his black heart to seek you out. When you were around, there was always an inflicted desire within Kaz, which he had always disregarded until now.
Kaz wanted to kill the man who had touched you, as well as track down the person who had shot you. He remembered your bright eyes dampening in fear and a brief tremor of despair as you realized you'd been caught, then blood splattering across your white dress and Nina's worried expression as she carried your limping weight.
Nina snarled, “You're doing it again.”
With his dark eyes, Kaz looked at her. “What?”
“I know you love her and all, but I need to focus, and your heartbeat is incredibly distracting right now,” Nina rambled.
Kaz stilled as he heard the word he didn't want to associate himself with. “In Ketterdam, love is neglected; it is reserved for the weak.”
Nina surprised him by laughing. “What are you doing right now? Whenever Y/N is hurt, you appear weak—you're in your vulnerable form.”
Kaz wanted to kill Nina by saying things he knew were true, but he was ignorant and stubborn to accept it. Nina gave him a knowing look as she cleaned, healed, and wrapped a cloth around your wound before kissing you on the forehead and leaving Kaz alone with you.
Kaz strolled over to where you were laying after a few moments of contemplation. He examined your flawless face, which, despite seeming pale and near death, was nonetheless lovely. Kaz paused for a while before raising his gloved palm to your cheek and tucking the errant strand of hair away.
He sat down near your bed, putting his disgust aside. Despite the strong temptation, he did not grasp your inviting hand. Kaz had stayed by your bedside the entire night, never leaving your side. Nina had stopped by every now and then to change your bandage, but she had said nothing about Kaz's overstaying or even asked him to leave.
When Nina was treating your wound, she had said, “You should rest, Kaz.”
Kaz gave her a sidelong glance. “Don't tell me what to do.”
Nina may have been right, but she was also wrong. Kaz did not believe he was capable of love, yet he had a great desire to be with you. To be in your company, to receive your gorgeous smile, and to simply be in your presence. And this time he wasn't going to ignore it.
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byeol-ssi · 1 year
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nothing more, nothing less
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Kaz Brekker was acquainted with different monsters. Those wrapped in expensive silk and bathed in sickening perfume. Those who spouted beautiful lies, enticing unwitting men into their dens. Those with hands stained crimson, preying on children and fools alike. His reflection on a mirror.
But the green-eyed beast proved to be a terrifying match.
Or, Kaz gets jealous.
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✦ kaz brekker x gn!reader | grishaverse
✦ tags: jealous kaz, lieutenant!reader, (kind of?) enemies to lovers, set sometime after the events of crooked kingdom
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"Brekker."
"Darling," KAZ drawled without looking up at your arrival, his tone more mocking than affectionate. "You're two bells late. Do you have the—"
A roll of parchment zipped through the air, landing in the middle of his desk with startling accuracy and ruining the neatly arranged blueprints spread atop it.
"I told you to quit calling me that," you muttered darkly. "One of these days, I'll really cut off your tongue."
He huffed, concealing his amusement. He enjoyed calling you all sorts of endearments after discovering how easily they riled you up.
There are times when Kaz allowed himself to feel, to act, like a boy again. Reconcile with a distant past, one that echoed Jordie's voice and carried the smell of fresh grass.
This was one of them. Similar to a child, Kaz reveled in your attention. Regardless if they came as threats, insults, or downright disdain.
He'd swallow a bullet first than ever admit it, though.
"How terrifying," he said, unfazed, and made swift work of straightening out the floor plan you brought him.
Silence fell, interrupted only by the soft shuffling of papers. From the corner of his eye, he noticed you shifting your weight from one foot to the other.
Normally, Kaz would come up with some sort of excuse to make you stay, but it seemed that something was on your mind.
And so, he waited.
You cleared your throat. "Do you need anything else?"
No, but thank you. You did well. Please, get some rest, his thoughts supplied. He ignored them. Instead, he simply settled on, "No."
His movements stilled. The question was unusual, especially coming from you.
"Nothing more, nothing less," you had once told him, seated on the ledge of a stadwatch tower that overlooked Ketterdam's shores. He'd nodded in agreement back then, mesmerized by the early sunlight that caressed your face.
You lived by the old saying for as long as Kaz has known you. After all, when you grew up in the Barrel, you'd learned early on that acting out of the goodness of one's heart only left a person broken. Penniless. Or worse, dead.
As such, you weren't the type to seek additional assignments without an offer beforehand. The fact that you had gone out of your way to ask was... suspicious.
His eyes finally flicked to yours. He could never afford to look at you for too long, as it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to stop once he started.
He cocked his head to the side and searched your gaze. "Why?"
You blinked, clearly caught off guard. He rarely indulged you in idle conversation or pried into your affairs.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Because despite everything you've been through together, this was the nature of your relationship too. Neither of you tried to change it, even after every scar he unraveled and laid at your feet.
Even after numerous nights spent confined in his office, shoulders almost, but never brushing one another as you pored over schemes for hours.
Even after repeatedly saving each other's necks and during the intimate silences that followed when the adrenaline wore off. Moments taut with charged tension, heaving breaths, and unspoken truths.
"I've got plans," you explained rather cryptically.
"Plans? Has someone else hired you for a job? I hope you don't forget that you belong to—"
"No, someone asked me out on a date."
Me, insisted the voice in his head, rich with desperation. You belong to me.
Kaz scoffed in disbelief. "A date? In Ketterdam?"
Fear clawed its way up his throat, determined to make itself known. It warred with another emotion he was too proud to name.
This... feeling was absurd. Sentimental. Kaz was no stranger to loss.
The seas granted Inej her freedom. A new chapter awaited Jesper and Wylan. Nina stumbled upon a second chance at love. Matthias found peace.
Yet, deep down, each farewell left him a little more empty than the last.
You were bound to Ketterdam only by virtue of being the Dreg's sole lieutenant. In truth, nothing else was preventing you from leaving.
Leaving him.
After promoting you, a tiny seed of guilt buried itself in his cold, wretched heart when he realized he held you back. That he never gave you the opportunity to pursue your dreams. Your position forced you to assume several roles, to fill in the shoes the others had given up.
But his greed outweighed his guilt and Kaz was a selfish man indeed.
The mere idea that someone could whisk you away from him brought forth a hateful bitterness from within.
"Where is the unfortunate fellow taking you?" he asked, keeping his voice deceptively calm.
You narrowed your eyes, ignoring the jibe. "It's a quaint little bar called 'none of your business.'"
Nothing more, nothing less. The phrase taunted him now. The green-eyed monster inside him rattled his ribcage ferociously, driving him to boast.
He curled his fingers around the desk's edge tightly. "Funny. I run the entirety of the Barrel, and I don't recall an establishment operating under that name."
"I'll have you know that he actually owns the place he's bringing me to," you snapped defensively.
Good, good. More information.
"And how long have you known each other?"
You shrugged. "A few weeks."
The answer relieved him somewhat. His possessiveness ebbs, its rhythm steady, before it swelled again, rising with the current of his emotions. One should always be more sure of everything. He'd learned that the hard way.
"And he's aware of who you truly are?" Kaz pressed on. "Of what you do?"
There were only a handful of possibilities. The person could have ulterior motives for approaching you. It wasn't unlikely, considering your power was only second to his.
Perhaps it was a spiteful soul he'd wronged, plotting to take advantage of you and get revenge on him.
On the other hand, there was also a chance that they weren't privy to your true identity. He couldn't blame anyone for wanting you but it was common knowledge whispered in the streets that Kaz Brekker was a man unwilling to share.
Anyone who didn't heed that advice and went against it anyway was just recklessly bold. Or stupid. The Barrel never seemed to run out of those.
This time, you broke away from his gaze. "It doesn't matter." You sniffed, feigning indifference.
The person didn't know then, he surmised. You probably met him during one of your undercover assignments, disguised and masquerading around with an alias.
Sensing his disapproval, you attempted to defend your date-to-be by adding, "He's kind. Sweet. Honest."
Everything he was not. The words, sharp as glass, ripped him apart. Crushed him with an overwhelming weight of sorrow.
"It seems naive of you to form an impression of him in such a short amount of time," he said through gritted teeth.
Pretending as if he didn't care should have been easy for him. Right now, all his years of experience in perfecting that charade were useless.
You rolled your eyes. "Not everyone is cynical and distrusting of the world like you. People can be good, Brekker."
And you deserved everything good and more. Better people could love you, he knew.
Someone who would not flinch every time you drew near. Someone who would freely kiss away your every fear.
Kaz had survived gunshots. Knife wounds. Sickness, nightmares, and grief. But the very thought of someone else soaking in your warmth was an ache he could not bear.
He felt the words scorching his tongue, his demons voicing them with unbridled cruelty. "There is a difference between being cautious and acting like a love-sick fool!"
Your eyes widened in shock, hardening in anger a second later; then they softened with disappointment, and all Kaz could see was the reflection of himself, a frenzied animal. A blown fuse. Inhumanely hollow.
He opened his mouth to speak, beg for your forgiveness, but you had already turned and walked away.
"I'll come back when you aren't hissing at me like a wet cat," you said, slamming the door behind you.
Kaz clenched his gloved hands into aching fists and hung his head, trying not to think of how jealous the idea of another man made him.
He wasn't too late. Dealing with his emotions was uncharted territory for him but scheming came as effortlessly as he breathed.
Kaz never lost a fight and he wasn't about to start now. Even if he needed to play dirty. His greed outweighed his guilt and he wasn't called Dirtyhands for nothing.
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"Brekker!"
Kaz had just finished speaking with another gang member, Roeder, when he heard the heavy stomp of your footsteps, followed by the frustrated yell of his name. You appeared on the stairway landing soon after, rage thundering in your wake.
"You're dismissed." Kaz waved to Roeder. His eyes shifted to you momentarily and cast Kaz a wary glance. Not wanting to get caught in the crossfire, he scurried off, slipping past the both of you.
Kaz began to ascend the stairs, you trailing behind him. He could sense that you were shooting daggers at the back of his head, probably cursing him out silently.
"You're back early," he finally said once you entered his office. He circled back to the same place you'd left him hours earlier and sat in his chair. "How'd the date go?"
You stormed closer, wedging yourself between him and the desk, stopping him from hiding behind the pretense of work.
"You know exactly how it went," you snarled.
In spite of your anger, you remembered to maintain your distance. Not once have you commented on his aversion to skin-to-skin contact, though he was certain you harbored your own questions.
"I'm afraid I don't, darling." He raised his chin to hold your gaze, his expression carefully blank. A tailored mask. "I wasn't there."
"You had him taken by the Dregs." The hurt on your face was unmistakable, enough for Kaz to feel a tad remorseful.
It was hardly sufficient, though. Screw righteousness, old habits die hard. "Ah, I had no idea he was your date," he lied again.
"Bullshit."
"But, what I do know is that he laundered money from our coffers and forced children into building the same tavern you were just in."
Kaz went over records of the jobs you'd accomplished in the last two months. After connecting the dots, he successfully identified your date and paid Roeder to look into his background. It was pure luck that the man was a merchant who managed to con Kaz's old boss.
Pulling the strings for his capture was practically child's play. Not that he'd ever tell you that.
Your fury dissipated, replaced by defeat that slumped your shoulders. "You were right," you said quietly, avoiding his eye once more. "I'm sorry."
Kaz rose from his chair and stepped forward. Taken by surprise, you backed away instinctively, only to find yourself trapped by the desk now digging into your hip.
"Let me make it up to you," he spoke with an unfamiliar softness. It almost sounded wrong.
You furrowed your brows in confusion. "What?"
"I ruined your evening. I could have ordered the others to seize him after you finished dinner."
But I didn't want him to walk you home. Wrap his coat around your shoulders. Kiss you goodnight at the Slat's doorstep. Kaz would've probably loaded his pistol at the sight. Broken every limb that touched you with his cane.
You snorted. "Okay. Are you going to give me whatever we steal next? Increase my cut?"
"No, although we can discuss it another time. I'm inviting you out on a date."
You blinked once. Twice. Slowly, you said, "Brekker, you ask someone out when you like them."
His lips pulled into the slightest frown, mildly impatient. "I know."
"You don't like me."
"Whoever put that silly idea in your head?"
"You did. You don't like anyone."
"I may not be the best at showing it, but you know that there are exceptions to that rule," he argued. "Especially when it comes to you."
He continued to lean over you, ignoring the pressure of panic beating against the walls of his chest from the proximity.
"You called me an idiot," you countered. You refused to move a muscle, most likely out of consideration for him, but he closed the distance himself.
He dipped his head further. "Again, I never said that."
"Fine," you conceded, sounding fond. "You implied that I was an idiot."
"I'll be kinder from now on," he promised. "I can try to be sweet, if you give me time and chance to learn. And I'm being honest right now."
Nothing he could do would ever atone for his sins. But although he was renowned as the Bastard of the Barrel, he was prepared to do it right by you.
Hesitantly, you raised a hand. Every inch of his flesh wanted to turn itself inside out, but every bone in his body yearned for your touch.
A quivering sigh escaped his throat as you reached for his cheek, your fingers warm and gentle on his skin.
He braced himself for the familiar scent of death. The ocean. He willed himself to focus on the details that made your face. The line of your jaw to your ear. The slope of your nose. The curve of your lips, hanging onto them as if his life depended on it.
It did, in a way.
"Your answer?" he rasped, suppressing a shiver.
You dragged your thumb against his skin in a delicate but paralyzingly manner and whispered, "I accept."
He had never been held with such tenderness before. Your touch made him feel like he was somewhere else, far from the memories that haunted him.
Growing concerned, you attempted to withdraw your hand but Kaz grasped your wrist before you fully could. He steadied himself with your pulse, each beat, each hymn, anchoring him to the present.
He was here. With you. In his office. Nothing in the world could hurt him.
Eventually, he slid his own gloved hand so that your palms pressed together. Your lashes fluttered and you asked, "Is this really happening? Are we really going on a date?"
He hummed in affirmation. "And I'll do it properly."
Seriously, who in their right mind would bring you to that side of Ketterdam? He took the sealed envelope containing your dinner reservation from inside his coat and handed it to you.
"Thank you." Your mouth curved into a shy smile. "And for the record... you don't have to be anything else other than yourself."
"Ruthless, callous, and dishonest cheat?" His voice held a hint of insecurity, betraying his attempted nonchalance. It was a question hauled from the inner depths of his soul, the boy inside him who wondered if he could ever be worthy of love.
"You forgot insufferable," you teased, although your earnest gaze belied the lightness of your tone. He knew you could see right through him. "But, yes. Just you, Kaz. Nothing more. Nothing less."
At that moment, Kaz knew you would be his salvation and destruction. You could shatter his heart and every single piece would still cry out for your name.
He squeezed your hand. Soon, he'll make you, and everyone else in the Barrel, realize that he had no intentions of ever letting you go.
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✦ byeol’s notes: new year, new fandom ?!
✦ reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! thank you so, so much in advance! <3
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redamancyys · 1 year
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Three Moments - Kaz Brekker
SUMMARY ◆ Three moments in which Kaz shows his love for you.
WARNING(S) ◆ fluff, implied smut, unedited, me word vomiting.
WORDS ◆ 2k
»»————- ✼ ————-««
You were certain that you were always meant to burn together. To love him was to love the hot embers of a forest fire, pressing your hands farther and farther into the flames no matter how much your body screamed to let go. It was all consuming, a love that suffocated you like smoke and left you burning for days. He was always burning, and sometimes you wondered if you just got caught up in the flames. Heartstrings woven together, not sure if you were the anchor or he was . . . Saints, who were you kidding? He definitely was not the anchor. 
It took him a long time to understand that he needed you. 
He was the bastard of the Barrel, unafraid of getting his hands dirty because he hid under a pair of gloves. On his worst days when he came home, they were caked with dirt, dust, and blood. It wasn’t his blood, he rarely had a cut on him. Most of the times when you stayed up until he returned, he would glance in your direction, give you a small nod, and make his way up to his room at the tallest point in the Slat. The next morning he never acknowledged it. His hair was slicked back, porcelain skin perfectly clean on his face and his gloves were as well. Fine, black leather worn down on the fingertips in the same places he gripped his cane. You wondered why he never let even those closest to him see him in any way disheveled. You didn’t understand the danger of looking weak the way he did. It wasn’t your fault, no one had ever understood what he had been through. Not that they ever could know anyway.
One night you were awake once again, making an excuse that you couldn’t sleep and had to make tea, though many knew that you stayed up until all members of the Crows were back home. You sat in the corner, a favorite book in hand and sipping on some mix of tea when you heard the door open and you thought for a moment your eyes were playing tricks on you. Because there he stood, cuts on his face and parts of his shirt ripped off at the arms. He was beaten, bloody, unlike anything you had ever seen before. He stood there, looking at you, watching as you took another sip and waited for him to go up the stairs like he always did. But this time he kept standing there, watching, as if he was waiting for your attention. He glanced over at the box on the table where you all kept bandages, and then back at you. 
Soon enough you were both sitting at the table, you were reaching for the tiny bottle of alcohol and white wrap up bandages. 
“Who was it this time?” You asked, dumping a cloth in a water bowl to clean his wounds. He looked at you, as if to say, it doesn’t matter. Though you kept pressing on, your eyes peered into his coffee brown ones, eyebrow popping up in question. “I waited up for you, which means you can’t keep any secrets from me, Kaz Brekker.” 
His name seemed to pop him out of his thoughts, pushing him back to reality in which he was there, sitting with you, rather than in the future thinking about plans or in the past pondering about the people he’s lost. Kaz glanced down at his gloved hands and then turned his attention back to you, watching your face carefully. 
“Someone didn’t pay me back for a favor,” He said. “It wasn’t an easy confrontation but it’s over now.” 
That was all you needed. You knew it was all you would get right now. Empty words were his forte that no matter how long you spent trying to read in between the lines of his metaphors and hyperboles, you were left feeling more confused than how you began. It took you so long to understand that it wasn’t about what he said, it was what he did. He never told any of the members of his crew how much they mattered to him, how important it was that they stuck around. In fact, sometimes you wondered if anyone mattered to Kaz Brekker, or if he was destined to keep himself alone, closed off, coldhearted. 
Your hand with the towel came up to his face and he flinched, making you falter for a single second. You waited for him to say something, but it never did, and you finished your motion by slowly wiping away the dried blood from the cut on his face. It wasn’t deep, it wouldn’t scar, and for some reason that made you glad. He would still look pristine in the morning, with a little help from you. You wondered if this is what he did alone in his room when he came back, healed wounds that never saw the light of day. Some part of you wished that he would show this side of him more often, the one that was vulnerable. Both of you stayed silent while you wiped the blood away and bandaged up your arm, though soon enough he was on his way back to his room, leaving you downstairs. 
~
You two took care of each other. It took until a heist went wrong that you saw that for sure. Too many things were against the group that day. Jesper’s guns stopped working when he had to take a critical shot, Nina was almost taken hostage . . . You yourself had suffered a striking blow to the stomach, becoming winded and almost passing out from lack of oxygen. Everyone ran away, knowing to meet up later at the Crow Club when they got the opportunity. You ran into an alley, head spinning, gasping for air as you leaned against a wall. Men ran past, most likely looking for you and your partners, though were not smart enough to look down the dark alley to their right. You could barely walk, knowing that several of your ribs had to be broken. 
“You need to keep moving,” A voice spoke from behind, startling you enough to grab the gun from your belt and aim it in the direction of the voice. Your eyes caught up with your target and realized it was Kaz, able to sneak up on you because he was without his cane for the blown heist. “Guards are looking all over for us.” 
You huffed, shaking your head. You couldn’t do it. All you wanted to do was lay there until you got better, not caring about the dirt and grime on the ground. When you tried to walk it felt like someone was stabbing you in the lungs, you stumbled a little and would’ve fallen if Kaz’s hands hadn’t grabbed you and kept you upright. 
Your vision was spotty as you both stumbled out of the alley, slowly making your way back. “I can’t do this,” You said, tears welling up in your eyes. “It hurts so much, Kaz, it hurts.” You were rarely this emotive, you were the glue of the group, keeping everyone together even through the toughest of times. Everyone always came to you, you’re the strongest one of them all. Every single second you wondered if your caved in ribs would puncture one of your organs and this would be your last day. Your last time with the people you cared so much about. The world was spinning, but Kaz’s arms and touch brought you back to reality, and soon enough you were within feet of the Crow Club and you collapsed, letting the darkness consume your mind. 
It was a few hours before you woke up in your room, opening your eyes to the soft glow of a candle near your bed. The softness of your blanket gave comfort, though the moment of relief that you were alive seemed to wash away as the pain came back to reality, a bandage wrapped around your torso that impeded your motion. 
For the next couple of days you were in and out of consciousness, Inej came to visit you a lot in order to give you food and some company, sometimes Jesper would tell you about his day and about Wylan. But still no sign of Kaz. You hadn’t seen him since he had brought you back to safety. At first you thought nothing of it, though the idea that he was avoiding you began to boil and fester, leading you to question Jesper the next time he arrived in your room with tea in hand. 
“I understand that comfort isn’t his thing, but I thought that Kaz would at least come and visit once,” You stated to Jesper, sucking in your bottom lip whilst moving to sit up, minding the tiny pain in your chest. 
Jesper’s eyes widened, shaking his head a tiny bit in a way that made you think he was hiding something from you. You gave him a puzzled look, urging him to speak his thoughts to you. 
“He’s been sitting outside of your door every chance he gets. I thought you knew.”
~
His kisses were soft despite his tough exterior, but they were not without intention. Every time his lips made contact with a piece of your skin you could feel his want, his desire, like he couldn’t get enough of you no matter how hard he tried. It was like you were his church and he was on his knees, praying for forgiveness for his sins, praying to your body that he worshipped unlike all the faceless saints in the world. Your hands collided with his hair, intertwining the soft locks of dark brown and pulling on it, pulling him closer. 
He would only kiss you in the confines of the Crow Club, where others couldn’t see. It bothered you at first, wondering if he didn’t want others to see that underneath all the cold and hard exterior he put towards the world: Dirtyhands could love. But that was just the thing, he didn’t want any of his enemies to come for you like he knew that they would. He didn’t want to put you in the face of danger anymore than you already did for him on a daily basis. To love him was to have a target on your back. 
At this point you knew of his aversion to touch, how his brother died, how it pained him to feel the skin of another upon his own. Instead of pulling away from his scars like he thought you would, you brought him closer, vowing that you understood, that you were sorry, that you would do whatever you could to make him feel better. Kaz thought for so long that he was a monster, and that may be true, but you weren’t a child, you weren’t afraid of the darkness that he had enveloped himself in for so long. You were willing to love him for who he was, no matter how much he tried to hide you from his truths. 
He could handle your kisses, finding solace in your mouth, the way it tasted like warm tea and the softness of your lips. And he accepted your small touches, starting slowly with tracing your fingers across his skin. You felt along his veins, taking extra care with his scars, pressing a kiss on the ones that looked particularly new. His gloves would come off and he would do the same to you. Eventually more clothes came off, more skin against skin. He found solace again in your tiny sighs and moans that left your lips when he kissed there and there . . . and especially there. Neither of you had ever surrendered yourself to another person in this way, it was intimate and sent you both over the moon. It was just you both, alone in either of your rooms, loving each other no matter what. 
After both of you would lay in one another's arms, the glow of the candlelight enveloping both of your bodies. There wasn’t much talking, maybe some if there was something particularly on either of your minds. You idly traced patterns on his skin, comforting him when he flinched, reminding him that you were there. He would be okay. 
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ravenyenn19 · 4 months
Text
To the Grishaverse: We never stop fighting.
To honor this fandom that welcomed me with open arms, I will be posting my own take of S3 of “Shadow and Bone” in fic form. To Leigh, thank you for gifting us a world to walk into where the close calls made hope feel tangible. Thank you for the magic & the mayhem.
To my own fic readers, I toast DWOD style: “To the coin. May we always wonder where it disappeared to. May magic live on.”
I cannot offer much, but I may still offer a bandaid to aid the broken hearts that beat like crows’ wings.
No mourners, no funerals.
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writing-havoc · 1 year
Note
Hey! How're you? I hope you're well.
I absolutely adore your works and I hope it's okay to make a request? It's just a little idea I had, sort of inspired by your latest fic :)
Where the reader is a part of the crows and one night she finds this small child outside the club and she feels really sorry for them and brings them into the club and tries to help them? Maybe with a bit of Kaz x reader? Whatever you feel inspired to write to be honest :D
I hope this is okay, I love your works so much! 💖💞
Enough
♡ Summary: You do your best to care for a little boy you found while Kaz cools down
♡ Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader
♡ Fandom: Six of Crows, Grishaverse
♡ Warning(s): Hunger, Child Abandonment, says Yn twice
♡ WC: 4.6k
I could have sworn there was a mention of like, a café by name in the books somewhere but I couldn't find it? I just made one up but man this is gonna drive me crazy lol
Anyway, here you go! I hope it is to your liking and tysm for the request and kind words <3 so glad my fic could inspire!
Please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes
∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘
Finding a child in an alleyway was not something you expected to tick off your bingo card so soon. Taking the child with you to the Crow Club with plans to look after him wasn't even on the card. And yet, here you are.
He's small, top of his head barely reaching your belly button, and his hands are freezing from where they hold onto your own.
You had found him not twenty minutes ago, and planned to just leave him there like any sensible person. But unfortunately, you're not as good at turning your moral compass upside down like everyone else.
So you got his attention, approaching his little shelter and offering him the last slice of bread you had swiped from someone's open kitchen window. He was hesitant to reach for it, hands slowly edging toward you as if you'd rip it away any moment, and with a certain gentleness took the piece from your hand and began to nibble on it.
His clothes were dirty, dipped in whatever dirt the Barrel has rubbed off on him and drenched through to the bone. Things were coming apart at the seams and the soles of his shoes you can tell were about to separate from the rest.
You had asked him where his parents are, and your heart immediately sunk when he looked away and towards the canal, his tiny nibbling seizing.
That was what snapped the little string you had holding you back, the other side tied to your sense of reasoning.
He's just a kid. You were just a kid once. Arguably still are. You'll be damned if you had to watch someone who was no older than 7 go through the same fate you did.
But your sentiments were short lived, starting and ending with you, as the moment you stepped through the doors of the Crow Club with the kid clutching your hand, Kaz was narrowing his eyes and his teeth were gritting.
You glared at Dreg members around you, daring them to stop you as you made your way to the back of the club where all the alcohol is stored. Nina and Jesper were setting up chairs, and you gave them a blank look as you entered the room, the sound of metal thumping rhythmically following.
"Yn." A rough gravelly voice calls behind you.
You ignore it, looking at the kid. "Is it alright if I lift you up? Just to here, hun."
In the softest voice you ever heard, the kid says "Yeah." and allows you to put your hands under his arms and lift him onto a crate.
"Yn," Kaz calls again, making your blood simmer.
There's really nothing you can do here. The Club is going to open in a few moments for the five o' clock rush and there's not any spare clothes. You'll have to wait until you can go to the market later to fetch him some clothes and bathe him at the Slat.
The ferrule of a cane drags across the floor, and you roll your eyes.
"Give me a moment, okay?" You say to the kid, waiting for him to nod before turning around, exiting into the main bar area.
"Are you mad?" He hisses at you, hand gripping his cane so hard you can see it shake. "What could have possibly made you think bringing a child here would be a good idea?"
His anger isn't too surprising. But if you're being honest, it's annoying.
"I was thinking that he has nowhere to go." You say, voice low as you walk away from the door a little more. Kaz follows you, eyebrows still snapped together and a hardness to his jaw you don't think you've ever seen directed at you. "He was outside and shivering inside a make-shift shelter made out of fruit crates and a tattered towel. He needs a place to stay."
"I don't care what it needs. It has no place here." His eyes flicker to the kid.
You cross your arms, anger bubbling in your chest. "He is not going anywhere. He is cold, and small, and hungry, and we have everything here and at the Slat to keep him comfortable."
His eyes snap back to you. "This isn't a daycare. We can't just swing our doors open to any lost kid you manage to find on the streets. This is the fucking Crow Club."
"I know damn well what this place is, Kaz." Your jaw hurts from how hard you're clenching it, head starting to pound at your temples. "I'm not blind nor incompetent. But he can't weigh more forty pounds and he's way past the age for that to be acceptable. I cannot, in good conscience, let him go for him to starve and eventually die on the streets."
He goes to say something, but stops, eyes flickering around your face. Your jaw is set, features no doubt mirroring his as you stand your ground, hands on your hips and feet stood apart.
"Please, Kaz."
You don't care that he runs this place. You're not about to be pushed around and bullied into staying complicit while this kid dies.
And he knows this.
So he closes his eyes, looking away from you as he takes a deep breath, collecting himself. His hand is no longer shaking, but you can tell he's still angry, ready to swing at both the imaginary and the physical.
He takes one last breath and looks at you, eyes only just softer than before. "You are responsible for him. He's hungry? You feed him. He's hurt? You fix him." The crows head of his cane comes up to look at you. "If he causes trouble, you deal with him."
You smile for only a moment before you push the cane away from your face, his barrier down. "He's well behaved. It'll be fine."
"You better hope so." He mumbles under his breath, walking away slightly off rhythm.
You watch him leave, members parting when they see his mood. A few even nearly knock over a chair when he gets a bit too close, Nina and Jesper arching their brows as he disappears out the door.
A few people are staring at you, eyes hungry for gossip and a glimpse at the kid you ushered in not minutes before.
You ignore them in turn for trying to figure out what to do with him.
He's sitting on a crate of Kaelish whiskey, legs shut tightly and dangling off the side, arms wrapped around his torso. But he's looking around, taking in the stockpile of alcohol.
"Alright, first things first." You say, leaving a crack in the door as you step into the room. He's jumpy, staring at you with analyzing eyes. "What's your name?"
He opens his mouth to say something, but then pauses, quickly shutting it.
You chuckle. "Listen, kid. Whatever you've got to hide, I don't give a shit. You're in the Barrel now, the only names that matter here are who you've decided to roll your dice with and those who call themselves bosses."
He thinks about it then, eyes narrowing and feet rubbing against eachother inside his tattered shoes. He wets his lips.
"Leopold."
It's... a little far from what you were expecting. You just barely stop yourself from snorting. "You'd have been better off lying."
His face blossoms in red, embarrassment clear as he begins to shut down.
"Hey, hey. I'm sorry." You're still smiling so it doesn't help much. But you kneel down in front of him. "It's customary here to at least make light fun of others when you first meet them." He's not convinced, but he's a little less prickly now, so that's something. "Is Leopold what you'd like to be called? Or is there a different name you have in mind?"
Again, he thinks about it.
"Leo, is fine."
"Leo is much better." You pat his knee, standing up.
His cheeks are still red, but you can tell he feels a little more confident now.
The arms that were tightly coiled around his waist have loosened, resting on his legs. His feet are swinging, just barely, and his back has straightened.
A thought comes to mind when you see his shoe begin to slip off his foot.
"How hungry are you?" You ask.
And before he can answer, you hear a rather loud grumbling from his stomach, and a bit of a pained expression falls on his face.
Your smile drops a little. "Well it's good to see you haven't got comfortable with being hungry yet. Come on." You wave him over as you swing the door open. "We're going to get some waffles."
"Waffles?!" You hear from your left.
Leo jumps in surprise, not expecting the voice.
You, however, were expecting it. Counting on it, even. "Yes, Nina. You can come if you want!"
It's faint, but you can hear her go "yes!" and the sound of a chair scraping against the floor. "No need to ask me twice!"
You look at Leo as he approaches the door, hands fidgeting with eachother.
"None of that." You say, tapping his hands, which in turn makes him fling them apart. "When you walk out of here, in front of all those people, pretend to be confident."
His eyebrows knit together, so you take your finger and smooth it out. "You don't have to actually feel confident, but those guys out there? They're vultures, and I dont think you have the heart to take the amount of teasing and bullying they'll inflict on you if they see you fidgeting like that." You grab his shoulders, and watch in amusement as he stiffens into a board. You give him a thumbs up, then tilt his chin parallel to the floor, bringing it out of its nook in his chest. "Fidgeting is reserved for those who have earned their place here, when everyone knows that if they mess with you, you'll hold your ground."
He's sweating, and his eyes are big and wide, but it's a little better than whatever he had going on before.
You usher him out the door, closing it behind you. People are still staring, and others are giving mean side eyes, but you ignore them, smiling at Nina from where she stands by the door.
Her face gets wider when she sees Leo next to you.
"Oh you're the little bugger that had Brekkers panties in a bunch." She leans down, ruffling his hair. "You and I are going to get along swimmingly."
Leo cringes, scrunching in on himself and away from her hand. He's absolutely not pleased, you think, as Nina takes her hand back.
Lazily helping him sort his hair back out, you start to wonder what this kid even likes.
"Nina, this is Leo. Leo, this is Nina, greatest wolf tamer to grace Fjerda's soil."
Nina scoffs, kicking her leg out and knocking your shin with the toe of her boot. "The whole world, thank you very much." She turns out the door, holding it open for you both as you exit.
You do your best to keep the kid close as you make your way through the streets, idly chatting with Nina as you shove Leo around into various alley ways when you see someone you don't have good relations with and pulling him away from an oncoming carriage when he gets lost staring at the boats that roam the canal.
He has to be an artist's son, or maybe a writer's. You don't know anyone who just stops in the middle of the road to look at boats doing their job and floating on water.
It's actually a miracle you make it to the little diner in one piece.
Inside it smells strongly like shitty coffee and various breakfast foods given the hour, much to both you and Nina's delight.
You're just happy to be out of Barrel air for a moment. Even if you were only just across East Stave and a two minute walk would plant you back in the slums, you swear the air quality just immediately skyrockets the second you cross the bridge.
The menus of this place are built into the tables, Grisha engraved into a thin piece of metal while a thick card on a rack displays the specials.
A booth a little ways away from the corner suits your group well, though you do regret not giving Leo a wipe down before coming out here.
It does seem like he attempted to clean himself off. Probably while Kaz was lecturing you. The dirt that was under his fingernails seems to be picked out, and the smudges on his face are considerably fainter.
It's a good thing you didn't walk into one of the nicer diners around here. But from your experience, the shittier the establishment the better their food will taste.
If you don't feel at least a little unsafe walking by it then it's probably not worth the kruge.
You shimmy into one side of the booth first while Nina slides in on the other side. Leo follows after you, sticking as close as he can while still giving you a bit of arm room.
"Alright." You smile, looking at the little breakfast section, scooting in just a bit more so Leo can look at the menu as well. "I know I said waffles, but really you can order anything you like."
"You're paying, yes?" Nina asks.
You roll your eyes. "Yes, Nina. I'm paying. Though do try and feel a little guilty for my poor pocket."
She doesn't say anything, eyes roaming over the whole breakfast section rather than stopping on just the waffles like usual.
Maybe you'll get some lunch to balance out the sugar that's about to grace the table.
The smallest of taps tickles your shoulder. "What's this?"
He's pounting at the menu, the item catching your eye. "Ah, I forgot these places give awful names to their foods. It's an omelet," you clarify, "with little veggies mixed in. Probably cheese in the middle."
His eyes go wide as you mime the size of such a dish with your hand.
"Would you like it?" You ask, gently probing at the little bits of personality that have managed to unravel themselves in the short time you've known him.
He looks at you, hesitant as he nods. "Yes please."
You smile. "Nice choice, kid."
The praise makes him smile, just as a waiter comes and begins to take your orders.
Of course, Nina gets a few plates of waffles with various toppings that she found interesting with a plate of toast, Leo gets his omelet with extra cheese, and you indulge yourself with a pile of hashbrowns and eggs over top.
Mixing it all together on your plate always sends Kaz into a frenzy. You hope he can feel the monstrosity being prepared and weeps at the sin you're about to commit.
"Does that man hate me?" Leo suddenly asks.
You scrunch your brows, discreetly looking around. "What man?"
"That man from before, that yelled at you." He says, rubbing his finger over a fork he received. "Did I get you in trouble?"
Nina chuckles. "Kaz is just like that. Out of everyone in that place your protector here is of the least likely to get in trouble."
You smile at that, thinking of Kaz's tendencies.
What Nina said isn't exactly true. You get in trouble just as much as the rest of them. Kaz just forgives you easier, is more willing to talk and come to a compromise.
Tonight you'll walk into his office and he'll still be steaming, angry at you for not clearing such a major change with him. He'll glance up at you, shoulders stiff and that cavern between his brows only getting deeper.
But if things go right, that edge he has a habit of keeping sharp will dull, his jaw will slacken, and his eyes will soften. He'll still be the hardstrung mini boss hell bent on making up for the past, but he'll settle down in the present for a little while, drinking the warm tea you set on his desk and heart a bit more open to you.
"No, I'm not in trouble." You fix his collar. "Just have some explaining to do."
Leo frowns, opting to pick at the metal menus. His leg is bouncing up at down, temples flexing. "So he is mad at me?"
You glance at Nina. She has a tightness to her lips, not knowing what to say either.
A joke, then. "He's not allowed to be mad at you before he meets you. However, I will be mad at you if you piss yourself in this booth."
His cheeks turn scarlet, not knowing where to look anymore. "I didnt know where the bathroom was."
"It's fine." You look towards the back, pointing to a hallway. "Down there, there's a bathroom. Lock the door behind you and knock before you go in."
He looks a little angry when you say that, but gets up and sulks his way over to the hallway. At least he already knows basic manners, then.
You turn to Nina, a deep sigh escaping your lungs.
She snorts. "I can see you turning older from where you sit."
You kick her foot under the table. "I couldn't leave him. Can you check up on him when we get back to the Club? I don't imagine he'll want me poking around at him trying to find a wound that doesn't exist."
"Seeing as you bought me breakfast, I suppose I have to return the favor."
"Thank you." You grab her hand, the both of you squeezing. "I'm sorry for tricking you."
That makes her let out a belly laugh, a short "ha!" while her cheeks glow. "If your tricks always start out like this then you wont see me complaining. Besides," she looks towards the back of the diner, "he's a cutie. Wouldn't want him dropping dead anytime soon."
"I'm mostly just worried about how calm he is. I mean, would you be this fine with a stranger picking you off the street and taking you to get food?"
Nina sighs, giving your hand another light squeeze. "Im not sure he knows he should be afraid. Which is more of a curse than a blessing. He's what, six?"
"Probably? My oldest quess is seven, but with how small he is compared to how well-mannered he is he could be ten for all I know."
"He'll be fine. And so will you. Just take it as it comes as all the advice I can offer you. He's probably going through shock."
Leo slides back into the booth, hands slightly damp from what you hope is water and not urine. Somehow the food is already done within the short amount of time you order, and a waiter is sliding the dishes onto the table.
The omelet doesn't stand a chance in front of a young boy, and a quarter of it is nearly gone before the waiter leaves.
You spare a glance at Nina, who's looking at the rapidly disappearing slab of eggs with amazement."Well if he wasn't before he definitely is about to be."
-----
You tuck the kid into bed, freshly washed and with a clean set of clothes on his body. His hair was actually a much lighter shade of brown than you thought, and beneath all that grime rested a few freckles and an old scar.
Nina had checked him all over for any sort of injury, and found nothing besides a bit of high blood pressure, which wasn't surprising given he was absolutely starving.
A bit of food in him for the next few months should help tremendously, you think.
He just got done stuffing himself with some soup you made for you and the Crows, ignoring the fact that the Slat was filled to the brim with people who also wanted some. It was enough for them that you pointed to a box of recipes and some spare ingredients, cheers sounding throughout the building.
Kaz had took his and disappeared up to his room before you could say anything, still visibly irritated.
Nina thinks he's about six, which could be why he's relatively quick to trust.
"Are you sure he's not mad at me?" Leo asks, patting down a pillow you just sewed together and bring you out of your thoughts.
You squat by your bed, head in your hands. "Maybe," you sigh. "But it's not from anything you did. He just doesn't like to be mad at me so he's using it up on you."
"Thats not very kind."
You want to wrap this kid up tighter. "No, it's not." Instead you turn the lantern beside your bed down to a very low flame, creating a soft glow throughout the room. "But it's Kaz."
Leo takes that explanation like a champ, like he actually understands what that means, and let's his eyes fall shut.
You pick up the hot tea you made earlier, using your key to lock the door behind you as you make your way over to the attic.
Strangely, you feel anxious as you ascend the stairs. The tea shakes in your hands, rattling a little against the mismatched saucer plate. But you open his door and are met with the exact situation you predicted earlier, your shoulders relaxing.
"Tea will not stave my mood." He turns over a piece of paper, setting down an ink pen.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." You set the tea on his desk, avoiding the wells of the door. "I am simply offering a nice cup of tea for my nice boyfriend who is totally not about to shove his nice cane up my nice ass."
"The last place my cane will go is up your ass." He sets the page down, looking up at you. "That's incredibly unsanitary."
You root around on his desk, looking at the various papers he's marking and reading through. "And the blood isn't?
"Arguably easier to clean." He takes a packet out of your hand and replaces it with a different one. "Educate me as to why bringing a child into my club was a smart decision."
Immediately you deflate, falling back into a chair. You cringe when the wood digs into your bones.
Honestly, you already told him everything. He's small, food was available, you had space he could occupy, why not?
"I've already told you, Kaz. I had the ability, and I dont really see a reason why not. Why don't you educate me?"
He looks about ready to strangle something, exasperated sigh shoving it's way out of his lungs.
"What are you going to do on the ocassion he gets in the line of fire? How are you going to react if his parents find him? When they take him back? Can you say with absolute certainty that this child wont destroy you?" He stands with every question, looming over his desk with his hands splayed over the surface.
"Could you have said that about me when we got together?" You counter.
It's a rare thing, to see Kaz go quiet and contemplative.
You don't particularly enjoy it.
"I can't say that should any of those happen I won't be a little devastated. But is it really justifiable to push him out just because he has the potential to hurt me?" You stand too, the packet still in your hand. "As you said, he's my responsibility. When it comes to that, I'll take the fall. You don't have to be as worried as you are-"
"I do." He interrupts. "I do, because he's important to you. And unfortunately our moods and overall state of mind have an overwhelming effect on the other."
You take a moment to look at him, purple blotches under his eyes and his scars highlighted by angle of the light. He's exhausted, and it kind of hurts to realize some of that might have been your fault.
But you're not sorry.
"He thinks you hate him."
"I don't know enough about him to properly hate him."
You smile as he sits down, bringing the cup of tea with him. He's far more relaxed than before, and is just this side of tired that you see his eyelids begin to weigh down, a deep breath is all it takes for the tension to leave his brows completely as the warm beverage meets his mouth. You swear you hear him moan when he feels just how warm it still is.
"Thats what I told him, but I don't think he believes me."
"Suck to suck. Look at the packet."
It's rather thin, you realize, black string tying the pages together. On the front, which you skimmed and didn't really read earlier, it says "Tips for new Adoptees".
On the inside are various tables and notes Kaz seems to have scrounged together, his messy cursive completely filling the pages to the point you have trouble figuring out where a thought ends and another begins.
"Huh." Is all you say, chest heavy and feet scuffing the floor.
You dont... you don't know what to say. You're reading something about how much a child costs but you're not really taking it in. It's more than you could have ever imagined.
Kaz sets the tea down. "I imagine Leo isn't going to be the last. You know where the extra paper is."
He makes your heart so warm. It makes it hard to be annoyed at him for doubting you.
The stairs leading up to the attic creak, and immediately you and Kaz are on guard, your hand moving to your back where little daggers decorate your belt.
Leo's face pops into the room, and you immediately relax, an exasperated sigh exiting your lips. "Hey, Leo. What's going on?"
He inches into the room, hands tentatively still holding onto he door. "I feel bad about going to sleep in your bed. And I wanted to say sorry for doing what I did, Mr. Kaz."
Kaz quirks a brow. "And what is that?"
"Um..." Leo freezes, looking away. "I don't know."
Immediately you look at Kaz, raising your own brow. He gives you a look that you know would kill you if it could, and you smile.
"Leo, come here and meet Kaz." You wave him over, setting the packet aside.
He hesitates, making a move to walk into the room. But when his eyes land on Kaz, he stops.
"He doesnt bite." You try and crack a joke, and while he doesnt laugh, he does drop his shoulders and release the iron grip from the doors side.
Kaz stands and walks around the table, limp pronounced as usual without his cane as Leo closes the door and makes his way across the room.
They stare at eachother for a few moments, coming just a few feet apart behind your chair. You watch their eyes scan over the other, Leo eyeing Kaz's limp and little scars and Kaz inspecting Leo' clothes and the way his ear is slightly folded inwards.
Surprisingly, Kaz offers his gloved hand first, and Leo takes it almost instantly. You watch as they share a firm handshake, nodding at eachother.
"Please to make your anquaintance." There's a slight fumble to Leo's words, and it takes everything in your power to not interrupt their moment and correct him.
But Kaz just nods, releasing their hands. "Pleasure is all mine."
You smile, the little interaction forever cemented into your soul.
Leo definitely isn't going to be the last kid coming through here. Not when Kaz let's a smile pull at his lips just so, and makes a pen appear out of thin air for Leo to look at.
For now, however, this is enough.
∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘
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@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @a-candle-maker @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @kylie18 @morrigan-crowmwell
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queenofspades6 · 1 year
Text
Not an investment - Kaz Brekker x Reader
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Summary: You try to forget Kaz with a man from the Crow Club. Kaz isn’t pleased at all. He finds a way to get rid of the guy, but you caught him. Kaz finally touches you for the first time.
Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Jealous Kaz.
A/N: I first wrote a draft of this when the first season of Shadow & Bone launched, i finally finished it, and wanted to share! I am so obsessed with Kaz! I might meet Freddy Carter on May, can’t wait but I am so scared at the same time!
———
You and the Crows had just accomplished another successful mission, earning each of you considerable money. The Crows had decided to throw a party to celebrate. Even Kaz had agreed to come. When Jesper asked him to join them, Kaz nodded, and Jesper cheered loudly, earning Kaz a grin.
Kaz Brekker had spent the last hour sitting with his arm on the bar, sipping a drink, and keeping an eye on the improvised dance floor. When the party began, Nina was already dancing, earning curious glances from both women and men. Jesper joined her after getting a few drinks. He tried to convince Inej to go dancing with him and Nina.
”You don’t want to go with them?“ You asked Inej, frowning.
”I do, but don’t tell them. Let them try to convince me.”
You nodded and asked the bartender for a strong drink. ”Make it two,” Inej said.
You watched her before glancing at the bartender.
”Tough night?” Inej asked.
You nodded again.
Inej didn’t bother to pry much; she knew each of you had your past. She knew how it felt to live with it, to live with the memories still there, haunting at night and even during the day... She knew better than to ask you about it.
The bartender arrived with both of your drinks. You thanked him and looked at Kaz, who was sitting at the other end of the bar, staring at people dancing and drinking in the Crow Club.
A man approached you. You didn’t see him coming; you were too caught up in stealing glances at Dirtyhands. The man took the seat next to you, and with a charming smile, he said:
“I didn’t take the infamous Ghost of Ketterdam for a drinker.”
You turned toward him, with a serious and almost warning look.
After all, you were the Ghost. If someone had a job to do, you were here. Looking for someone who disappeared? Easy. Stealing? As if you were a beginner. Taking revenge? Already done. Killing? Done. The Ghost was a shadow in Ketterdam. The kind of story that makes kids stay up all night. Rumors were you had no law, no faith and no humanity left. Oh, how wrong were they. If only they knew...
“What if I am?” You replied to the man.
”Even better.”
You grinned at him and decided to play the game.
“What about I offer you a drink?” He questioned, glancing at your body.
“I already have one, but go on.”
The man asked for another round of drinks, and the bartender complied.
”I didn’t think the Ghost was a beautiful woman like you.” He started, his eyes looking at his next prey.
Before, you would have punched that man hard in the face, but tonight, you didn’t care. You just wanted to have fun, and maybe it could involve him.
“Oh yeah? “
”Yes. Do you know how much people would pay to have you in their bed?”
You laughed and crossed eyes with Kaz. He was staring at you curiously. You thought it was a coincidence, but Kaz had been watching the whole time.
“I know.”
”Quite modest, I see.”
“I can be and do many things, you know?” You flirted, your head already spinning.
A little flirt was harmless, right? It wasn’t like it would change something. You stole another glance at Kaz, still sipping his drink in deadly silence. You knew there had always been something unspoken between the two of you, which you both probably wanted, but that was just impossible. Something that couldn’t be. So why not have fun with this silly man, you thought?
”I can only imagine.“ The man replied, his right hand stroking yours on the counter and his other hand on your knee.
”Let’s dance first.“
The man took your hand and complied, bringing you to the dance floor. The man danced with you, sometimes brushing your body. You didn’t care. Alcohol gave you confidence and relief. You danced closer to the man. And even closer. You both moved simultaneously, feeling the loud music and the alcohol in your veins. You could already feel the man’s arousal. But you didn’t care. You were trying to forget. Forget him and his stupid blue eyes. His silly cane. His silly waistcoats. Him. You just wanted to forget.
What you didn’t know was that Kaz Brekker couldn’t look away. His eyes were glued to your form and this man. This Dreg. Oh, Kaz hated the man at this moment. His hand tightened around his cane.
The man touched you even more intimately, placing his hand on your thigh. Kaz was watching it all; his hand clenched in a fist. He couldn’t bear it anymore. He knew you had a few drinks and hated the idea of the man taking advantage of you. Or worse... Maybe you let him...
Dirtyhands whispered something to the bartender, and then a servant rushed anxiously towards you.
The servant asked for ‘Jake’ something and then told him that someone was waiting outside for him.
He nodded.
“Sweetheart, I need to take care of something, and then I am coming back for you. We’ll finish what we started.”He said, a smirk forming on his lips.
You consented, not understanding what was happening.
The man walked toward the backdoor leading to the streets. You took a deep breath and went back towards your seat. You finished your drink quickly and began to think.
‘What was I doing? Seriously? This man? I am the Ghost, for Saint’s sake, I deserve better.’
Feeling shameful, you wanted some fresh air to think clearly. Or maybe you just needed to flee. You rushed toward the door of the Crow Club and opened it.
There was ‘Jake’, his face bloody and bruised, held by the arms of two men taller than him.
What was going on?
That’s when you saw Kaz punching Jake in the face. The man spit blood, and Dirtyhands held his head in his gloved hand.
”If you dare touch her again, you are dead.”
Kaz was going to hit Jake with his cane, but your screaming interrupted him.
”What’s going on?“
Kaz nodded, and his men let Jake go. He didn’t think twice. Without looking at you once, the man flew in as he had arrived.
The men stared at Dirtyhands, waiting for his approval to leave. Kaz gestured, and they left.
”What’s going on? I won’t ask it again.“
“This stupid... man touched you.” He declared calmly, removing the blood from his sleeve.
”Yes, and?”
“He didn’t ask.”
”Because I let him. Do you genuinely think he would have touched me if I hadn’t allowed it? You know what I do and who I am.” You murmured.
Kaz’s blue eyes were avoiding your gaze, looking at the street and holding tightly onto his cane. He frowned.
”Why?“He questioned.
“Why? You dare ask why? You know damn well, Brekker.“
”Enlighten me with what I am supposed to know ‘damn well’.
He clenched his teeth, and you approached him dangerously. You plunged your eyes into his, almost begging him not to let you speak.
”I needed a distraction.”
“A distraction?” He questioned, wonder in his eyes.
“But we succeeded in the mission. We won thousands of kruge, Y/N.”
”I know.”
”Is it not enough for you? What do you need more? What do you need more than what thousands of Kruge can offer you?”
You repressed your tears. You were the Ghost after all, you couldn’t cry even if you wanted to.
“Thousands of Kruge can’t buy me you.” You whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear.
“Me?”
“Your name is Kaz Brekker, no? Or should I say Dirtyhands?“
A small smile escaped his lips, quickly replaced by sadness. He was staring at his gloved hands. What was he supposed to do? Tell you he felt the same, and offer you what exactly? He couldn’t even touch you.
“I was trying to forget you with this man, to forget the times you looked at me like I was an investment, when I came back from a mission hurt badly and you just said ‘good job’.
“What do I have that you might want?” He asked, his voice almost trembling.
Memories of Jordie flooded his mind. The times when they were happy, or at least tried to because they were together.
You didn’t reply, just watched him, the man you love.
“I can’t offer you anything, Y/N.” Kaz declared, approaching you with the most sincere look you’ve ever seen him with.
”I can’t offer you a crown, a throne, or even a palace. I can’t provide you the most precious jewels in the world. I can’t make you my queen, Y/N.”
”How romantic.” You finally spoke, crossing your arms.
”At least I have the decency not to lie to you.” He replied.
”I think I would have preferred you to lie.” You declared, trying to repress your tears again.
”What did you want me to say? That I would make you a Queen even though we live in Ketterdam, and would cover you with the most expensive jewels when we loot every day to survive? You would have wanted me to tell you that I cannot live without you, although touching you is unbearable to me? You would have liked me to tell you that I love you, right Y/N?
Eyes misted with tears, Y/N dared to meet his gaze. When Kaz saw that Y/N’s eyes were shining, he realized the magnitude of his words. He had always thought that by being cruel, he could push people away, keep them away, to avoid doing harm and, above all, be hurt. Things had gone wrong the last time he had loved someone, so how could he really trust his heart anymore?
Jordie.
His name echoed in his head when he looked at Y/N. He wanted to apologize, hug her, and kiss her lips, but he couldn’t.
He tried to take a step towards her to try to comfort her, but when his hand approached her bare arm, he resigned himself to it. He was shaking. Touching someone seemed impossible so how could he ask Y/N to stay? What could he offer her? A life of hidden gazes, impossible caresses, abstinence... Y/N deserved better. She could have had better. Nikolai Lantsov had always wanted her. All she had to do was say yes, and she would become the first Grisha Queen. Kaz had to admit Y/N would make an exquisite Queen. She was fair, and she only hurt when necessary. Y/N deserved a better life than a life in danger in Ketterdam. And if Pekka Rollins learned that Dirtyhands cared about her, he would seek to get rid of her by any means possible.
Y/N gazed at Kaz one last time before turning to the door. She was about to grab the handle when she felt pressure on her arm. Kaz was touching her.
“Don’t leave, Y/N.” You rolled your eyes.
“Is it a command, Boss? You asked, annoyed.
“It’s not.”
You observed Kaz’s face. For someone who didn’t know him, Kaz was emotionless. But at that moment, you knew he was vulnerable. His features were different. He seemed fragile. The bastard of the barrel seemed weak! You laughed in your head.
“Stay, please.” He begged you, the silence in his head unbearable.
You made a small move to get out of his grip. His hand fell against his body. And suddenly, he grabbed your hand. You stared at your hand in his gloved ones. Seeing your reluctance, he pulled his hand away and took off his gloves. Trying to calm his trembling, he reached for your delicate hand. His fingers brushed your skin, knuckles, and wrist, sending shivers down your whole body. Kaz was trying to memorize your hand, the veins in your wrists, your knuckles, to make it familiar, so that he wouldn’t be scared anymore.
“Can I?” He asked you.
You nodded, astonished to see Kaz Brekker asking for permission. He wasn’t one to ask. He always took and took. Never saying please. Never asking for permission. And here he was. All vulnerable in front of you.
He took your hand in his with hesitation and still trembling. Dirtyhands was trying his best to hide his fear in front of you. He was the bastard of the barrel. Everybody feared him, and yet he could not take your bare hand in his. He felt pathetic. He stared at your intertwined fingers for some time.
“What more can I offer you than what you already have?”
Your attention, your time, your love, your skin (maybe not), everything, you wanted to scream but you couldn’t. He was Kaz Krekker after all.
“I can’t make you happy, Y/N. You should go with Nikolai, he’ll know what to do. I can’t even kiss you, Y/N. I can’t, it’s pure torture. I can’t.”
One tear was slowly running across your cheek.
“I don’t want wealth or power. I don’t care about Saints.”
“Then what do you want?”
“Your love.“ You spitted.
Your hands were still intertwined, and that’s when Kaz noticed that while you were talking, he forgot about your hand in his, and for once, it had not disturbed him. It was brief, but he had felt your skin against his, the feeling of coldness and an almost delicate hand. He was staring at your hands with intensity, not knowing where his began and yours finished. The contact with your skin burned him, it was like caressing fire, feeling the unbearable heat against his fingers, against his palm, and yet he didn’t want to remove his hand from your painful skin.
“Kaz, look at me.”
You knew he was fighting his own demons, and it was not easy to hold your hand, and much less for a few minutes.
“Focus on my voice.”
He complied, and you dared take his hand and bring it to your face.
“I am here for you. Since the beginning, I have been here. Since the first day we looked at each other in this street, I knew everything would be different.”
While talking, you held his index finger in your tiny fingers compared to his. It was reaching dangerously for your cheek.
“Do you remember, Brekker, the first day we met?”
Kaz was trying his best to focus on your eyes, lips, on everything other than his fear to feel. It was finally this fear of hurting that made every touch burn. And you knew, you understood.
“I was pulling a dagger from my bleeding shoulder, sitting alone on the street, when you came. And do you remember what you said to me?”
You finally put his index finger delicately on your cheek. Step by step. You knew it would take time. Months and years, probably. But you were never a quitter after all.
Kaz chuckled, remembering this particular day when he thought that the Ghost everybody was scared of was just a little girl. Today, he knew he was wrong.
“You first said to me “Work for me, Ghost, and you’ll never have to pull out any dagger of your shoulders.”
Dirtyhands grinned, and with his index finger on your cheek, he explored your skin, still burning him. You removed your hand and laughed.
“You know, the day I met you, I knew you wanted me to work for you because I was taking all your contracts.”
He laughed again, and a second finger was caressing your cheek.
“I couldn’t let you take all the money.” Kaz replied, with this smirk you loved.”And you said ‘yes’ if I recall.”
“That I did. Though I did pull out many other daggers from my shoulder.” You spoke softly.
Another laugh, and he put a third finger on your face, stroking and trying to control his trembling. Still, he never dared remove his gaze from you.
“I know. I was planning a meeting with you for weeks, trying to find something to make you work for me. But you had no weakness, no secret that I knew of. I didn’t know what you were looking for.”
The tips of his three fingers were still on your skin, learning every wrinkle you would have, every scar, everything, even if it burned.
“That’s what made me so good, back then I had nothing to look for and nothing to lose.”
“And now?”
“Now, I have a goal, something to fight for, that’s what makes me fearsome.” You muttered and smiled at your words because you meant them.
Kaz smirked. He knew there were two kinds of people to fear: those who had nothing left to lose, and the ones who had everything to lose.
With sudden confidence, Kaz reached with one finger for your lips, trying to touch, and caress them. His trembling finger found your lip, he felt it, his deep blue eyes on yours. You were watching him with pride.
Maybe too greedy, Kaz wanted to feel your face with his hand, he tried to place all his fingers against your skin, but the burning was too powerful. Suddenly, he removed his hand, shivering.
“I-I am sorry.”He said, his armor falling back in place.
He saw Jordie’s face again. And he felt the skin of other corpses on his. It was warm. Too warm. It was burning him up. He was screaming, and nobody came.
“Kaz. Kaz! Look at me.”
He heard your voice calling in this ocean of corpses.
You didn’t touch him, but called his name.
“Kaz. You are with me. You are not there. Not anymore. Breathe. You are safe.”
He finally saw your eyes and where he was. In the middle of the street with you. He got up, dusted off his coat, and stared at you.
“Sorry, Y/N.”
He put back on his gloves and resumed leaning on his cane.
He was not only Kaz Brekker at this moment, but also Dirtyhands, and the bastard of the barrel. You smiled and glanced at his form as it left the room.
“The answer is this.”
The Bastard of the barrel turned to you and looked at your face, eyes full of silent interrogation.
“This is what I want, Kaz Brekker, and this is what you can offer me.”
You swore you could see a smirk escaping his lips. And this was the moment you knew you were not just an investment for Kaz Brekker.
———
If you loved this story, don’t forget to like, reblog and comment! I’d love to write more Kaz x reader with the OC “The Ghost” if there is enough interest, I’ll write more for Kaz!
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swanimagines · 1 month
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HC: KAZ IS A PROTECTIVE UNOFFICIAL BIG BROTHER FOR A TRAUMATISED READER
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 - Kaz was 18 years old when he first saw you - a shivering child, barely even a teenager, bruises covering your body and just underwear on.
- He knew from the first glance that you were from one of the pleasure houses, judging by how you peered towards the street full of them.
- Kaz didn’t really know what came over him - maybe you reminded him of himself as a child to some extent. A broken child with nowhere to go.
- Or maybe Inej was whispering into his ear across the seas, urging him to save you.
- So with a sigh, Kaz limped towards you, and you backed up into the corner the moment you saw him - Dirtyhands approaching you was probably even more scary than your master finding you - or at least on par with it.
- You had probably been taught he rips hearts out and eats them while they are still beating, like one of the newest rumours said.
- But instead, after Kaz had glanced around, he shed off his coat and held it out for you.
- You stared at him with wide eyes, then at the coat, then again at him.
- So Kaz sighed again, took a careful step towards you and laid the coat around you.
- You let out a breath, furrowing your brows as you looked up at him, carefully pulling the coat tighter around you. You clearly had not expected the turn of events.
- Kaz then nodded towards the Slat before turning away, and you silently followed him - some semblance of trust had been established.
- He was probably the first person to show even some kind of kindness to you in a long time, even if he was the most feared crime boss around, and you knew you had two options - returning to the pleasure house or following Dirtyhands. And only the first option had a certain severe beating, even death, so you chose the latter.
- When you arrived at the Slat, people fell silent. You were dirty and terrified, with Kaz’s coat wrapped around you.
“Jesper,” Kaz had called, and a Zemeni man with two guns on his waist strode towards you.
- You immediately staggered back, hiding behind Kaz - men with guns often meant you’d be threatened next, and then you’d be forced into something horrible.
- The man frowned at your reaction, and talked with Kaz for a moment. You barely heard what they were saying, your eyes too fixated on the guns.
- A boy with messy hair came to you next - his eyes kind, and you found yourself relaxing a little. He extended a hand towards you, and you looked at Kaz, who nodded and you took the boy’s hand, letting him lead you to a bathroom. And you were able to have a bath all by yourself - relax there, taking your sweet time. Your master wasn’t brushing you with a sponge until your skin was red and irritated, you could lay in the warm water, wash away the grime, wash your hair and just… feel you were safe.
- At least for now. You knew from experience you couldn’t trust anyone before they had truly shown you they were to be trusted.
- Even when the Bastard of the Barrel, somehow, made you trust him almost instantly.
- There just was something strange about him - something familiar. You had a feeling he had understood you somehow.
- When you rose from the bath, wrapping a towel around you and changing into way too big clothes - you made your way out from the bathroom and made your way back downstairs.
- Your eyelids had started to feel heavy from relaxing for so long in the bath and when Kaz noticed it, he gestured you to come with him, and you made your way to the attic. 
- There, he made you a bed on his sofa.
“You can sleep here,” he had said, and you swallowed before slowly lying down and pulling the blanket over you.
- You didn’t know if you had ever slept somewhere so comfortable as his sofa was - your “bed” at the pleasure house had been a plank you regularly got splinters from. So it didn't take long for you to fall asleep.
- You had woken up to Kaz coming to sleep as well, but were quickly falling back asleep again after you realised he’s not going to assault you.
- In the coming weeks, Kaz grows to be fiercely protective of you.
- One time, you actually saw one of the men who had spent a night with you as you were at the Club - and Kaz immediately told his goons to throw the guy out.
- He hadn’t even done anything while there, but Kaz wanted to protect you.
- Of course, he didn’t tell anyone the reason why he threw that guy out…
- You both suffer from nightmares, Kaz pushes his own nightmares aside to do his best to comfort you with your own nightmares.
"They fade over time," he had told you one night, as you had woken up screaming and had been rocking yourself back and forth, hugging your knees. Kaz had come running to see what's the matter, and seeing your tear-stained cheeks told him everything he needed to know.
You had looked up to him, huffing. "How are you supposed to know that?"
Kaz didn't reply right away, just held his cane, running his thumb over the crow head as he looked at the floor.
"They do," he then repeated, standing up from beside you and leaving the room. You had sat there for a moment longer, before you had laid down again, attempting to continue sleeping.
- Overtime, Kaz realised he cared for you - he felt like he was your big brother.
- After Inej came back from her sea adventures, she quickly became something between a mother and an aunt to you.
- She grew to love you just as much as her boyfriend did, even when Kaz didn’t show it as much as Inej.
- Inej could offer you peer support, when Kaz protected you from harm.
- And of course, Jesper and Wylan grew close to you too.
- Sometimes, you fell asleep against Kaz’s shoulder, and he let you - you had grown close to him, and he was recovering from his own traumas, touch wasn’t that big of an issue anymore.
- Having you leaning against his shoulder, touching him through his shirt, your hair slightly touching his neck - it didn’t feel that bad. 
- He barely felt water hovering over his toes. Actually he wasn’t even sure if it was water or if it was a draft blowing through the floor.
- He could touch Inej skin to skin too, so you being his unofficial little sibling could rest against him if that were to happen.
- When you were outside, he made sure you wouldn’t drift too far from them, the Barrel was full of dangers. Especially if someone from your old pleasure house would see you.
- Fortunately most knew you were under his protection.
- And as you became older, you were healing a lot faster than Kaz was - and even though he knew he wasn’t actually your brother, he sure felt like one - a proud brother.
- Kaz didn’t believe in Saints, but he still felt like something had brought him up to you, at the right time - something had just clicked.
- And now his family had one more member.
Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)
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19burstraat · 22 days
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“If you’re here for something honest and respectable, I’ll eat my guns piecemeal,” said Jesper. He scrubbed his face. “How long have you been telling those poor girls about your sick mother in Oldendaal?” “It was Zierfoort, actually.” “I don’t care where it was! What are you doing?” “I thought I wasn’t supposed to involve you in my schemes anymore.” said Kaz petulantly, glancing in the mirror to rearrange his jacket. “Kaz, you playing the victim is about as natural as a flock of lime-green flamingos, so don’t bother,” said Jesper. “Is it a heist? A blackmail job? Gathering information?” “Who said it was just one thing?” said Kaz, straightening his cuffs with two brisk jerks. “This place is the playground for the children of the rich and prosperous, Jes. I could have a million reasons for being here. But since you’re here for reasons both honest and respectable, I can assure you I’ll stay out of your way–” --- (jesper goes back to university. kaz follows him... and trouble, as usual, follows both of them.)
[crashes through the double doors, trips over a loose flagstone, and lands in a miserable heap on the floor with ten broken bones and smashed glass all around me] guys I finished it :)
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auroravictorium · 1 year
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lavender haze (k.b.)
Summary: when the reader is injured and kaz kills someone for them (oops), they come to a realization of their feelings.
Pairing(s): kaz brekker and reader Word Count: ~1.8k Warnings: mild violence (stabbing, mentions of gunshots, physical fighting), blood, mentions of death Genre: a bit of angst, but with a fluffy ending
Author's Note: this is part of the midnights saga (inspired by taylor swift's midnights ofc) but can be read as a oneshot or as part of the series once i've written more :)) send me requests for kaz if you so desire. only 54 days until season two of sab releases let's goooooo
“This was not the plan,” you shouted to Jesper, dodging a fist hurtling toward your face. Your muscles burned with exertion, and your skin ached with bruises from being shoved down the stairs by the targets who somehow knew you were coming. It wasn't your most graceful moment, getting pushed down hard, splintered wooden stairs. You landed at a guard's feet, to boot. An excellent start to what seemed like such an easy heist: get in, grab the rolled-up canvases of forged paintings and get out and back to the Slat before anyone could notice anything amiss.
"I think I know that," he snapped back, ripping his pistol from its holster and using it to bash his attacker in the head. The guard groaned and slumped to the wooden floor, dazed. Jesper took the chance to aim his pistol at the man trying to lock you in a chokehold. "Can you get him to stop moving?"
"I'm going to kill you if you shoot me," you snarled, bringing your knee to the man's gut and bashing his temple with your pistol. He crumpled, and you kicked the man's chest once he was on the ground. It seemed fair after shoving you down the stairs and possibly breaking your ribs. It ached horribly to breathe, and your wrist throbbed when you flexed it. Sprained, no doubt. There was no time to worry about that because another idiotic guard thundered down the stairs right toward you with two lackeys behind him.
Where were Inej, Kaz, and Nina?
You pulled the trigger on your pistol, taking a nonlethal shot at the first guard's thigh, sending him tumbling down the stairs with a shriek. See? That's how it feels, asshole.
Jesper handled the second one, and you went for the third, going for the arm this time. He howled in pain and clutched his arm, nearly tripping over his feet.
"Where's-?" you began, then your hair prickled on the back of your neck. Spinning around, you were greeted with a bash to the face. You collapsed to the ground, and your head hit the floor with an impact that rattled your teeth. You gasped for air, and black spots danced across your vision. The world spun too fast on its axis. Nothing was in focus. Distantly, Jesper shouted. You thought he was fighting the man who hit you.
Pain blossomed between your ribs, and you screamed. The world snapped sharply back into focus long enough to glimpse your attacker's face, concealed by a black scarf wrapped tightly around his head. His eyes were black as coal and filled with pure rage as he stabbed you, twisting the blade to inflict as much damage as possible.
You sobbed as he pulled the dagger free. Something sharp and metallic was bubbling in your throat, threatening to choke you. It bubbled out of your lips, painting them red and sliding down your cheek. The world around you disappeared, and you floated on nothing.
People talked, there was shouting, then more burning on your chest. Someone apologizing. A hand pressed between your ribs over your wound.
"No more," you thought you said. "Please."
You were dying. You could recognize that much.
As the chains of death fastened themselves around your wrists, cold metal biting your feverish skin, you thought of Kaz. His piercing blue eyes, how his coat looked against his pale skin, the way he brushed his fingers through his hair as he concocted heists. How he said your name so softly that you wondered if he felt the same way you did about him. Fluttery, light, hoping to give him a smile and have him smile back. All you wanted was a smile from Kaz, even if he didn't feel that same fluttering as your eyes caught.
Now you wouldn't even get that.
The world disappeared. 
And then it came back.
You woke with dry lips and a pounding head. Your throat burned from a lack of water, and everything around you was blurry from unconsciousness.
You looked around at your room in the Slat. How did I get here? Shouldn't I be greeting the Saints now, not feeling like shit with water leaking from the roof onto my head?
Someone leaned forward in a creaky chair beside you, and you saw his cane before you saw him. He was sitting in a chair haphazardly shoved in the corner. It hadn't been there before you'd died, nor had Kaz. He'd never even been in your room before.
"Hi," you rasped. Internally, you winced. Hi? That's the best you could say? You died while thinking of him, and you can only muster 'hi?' Maybe you could be stabbed again and start this over.
Kaz looked you over, his face carefully arranged into a mask of neutrality. But his hair was greasy and falling into his eyes, and he had dark shadows under his eyes that made him look like he'd been punched in the face. "How are you feeling?" His voice was almost just as blank as his face. But underneath his words was.. concern. He was worried. About you.
Where the hell had you gone after you died? In what world did Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, show any emotion?
"Am I dead?" you asked him. You experimentally tried to sit up, but your chest screamed at you in pain, and Kaz's cane shot out. The tip pressed against the wall beside your bed, and you were blocked from getting up.
Kaz was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "What were you thinking? Why did you try to take all of them at once?"
"Jesper and I had it handled." Your throat throbbed, and Kaz seemed to realize that speaking was difficult. He held out a glass of water, and you lifted your head. Carefully, he tipped some of the liquid down your throat. You swallowed and sighed in relief.
"You nearly died," Kaz said. He placed the glass of water on the ground and stood, removing the cane from where it blocked you and thumping it against the floorboards. "It was reckless." His voice was lined with anger.
Anger sparked in your chest. "I woke up after being out for?"
"Three days," Kaz gritted out, whirling to face you. His eyes were ablaze, and you nearly shrunk under that look. It was so unlike him, usually so cold and stoic, that having that emotion directed at you was startling. But you didn't back down and forced yourself into a sitting position despite the searing pain and stiff bandages around your chest.
"Three days, and the first thing you do is decide to yell at me? I'm sorry I almost died, but I would appreciate it if you could wait to lecture me until I'm not about to keel over from pain."
His jaw flexed. He was furious. Much more than you realized. His eyes closed, and his chest expanded and contracted as he took a deep breath. "You nearly died," he said again. His voice was calmer now, and you found yourself softening. "When Inej and I found you nearly bleeding out while Jesper tried to stem the blood, I wanted to kill the person who did this to you." He inhaled again and turned his back to you.
He was silent for a few long moments. "Kaz?" you whispered. He was within your reach but felt so far away. Especially since he didn't like to be touched, and you didn't dare push that boundary to get his attention.
"I did," he admitted. "While Nina worked on you, Jesper and I followed him, and I killed him."
You didn't prompt him to continue this time. He so rarely shared his thoughts. You didn't want to ruin this.
"Killing him didn't keep you from nearly dying," he said quietly. "Your heart stopped. I thought I'd never..." The words died in his throat.
Your hand twitched with the urge to reach out to him. He was trying to say what he felt, but Kaz Brekker wasn't good with emotions. He hadn't been since he nearly drowned in the harbor.
"You said my name while you slept," he said roughly. He turned back to face her, his blue eyes on fire with something you struggled to identify immediately. Later, you recognized it as desperation.
He needed you to say it. He worked so hard to keep all his emotions beneath the surface that they refused to come to him when he called. He felt them all, burning beneath his skin, pleading to be shared, only to disappear when summoned. 
You didn't struggle as intensely. "I thought of you when I was dying," you breathed. The words were quiet, shy. Almost ashamed that you hadn't thought of someone else, like your best friend from home. "I thought of you smiling."
Kaz nearly laughed out of sheer amazement. "You've never seen me smile."
Your cheeks flushed, and you looked down at your hands. "But I want to. And I thought I would die without seeing it at least once."
The room was so silent your ears almost started ringing. Then the floorboards creaked, and Kaz sat in the chair beside your bed again. You exhaled slowly, relieved that he didn't open the door and disappear. It was the worst-case scenario that had haunted your dreams. But he hadn't, and he was back beside you again. It was closer than you'd ever expected to be to him.
"Don't die on me again, and maybe you will see it," he said. He rested his cane against the wall and stretched out his legs. Behind his words was relief. You understood what he was trying to say and felt the same, and you were alive. He had the chance to say this to you. For the first time in a long time, Kaz found himself nearly thanking the Saints.
Your heart leaped into your throat as you looked over and met his eyes. A silent understanding passed between you, and his lip quirked up in the corners, ever-so-slightly. You smiled back and looked down at your hands.
You were on the precipice of something new. It was something you'd wanted for so long that you couldn't believe this was real. 
"I'm still going to lecture you for almost dying," Kaz said, breaking the silence. He looked at you seriously, but a glimmer of something danced in his eyes. Despite the threat, you couldn't help but wheeze a quiet laugh.
"I expect nothing less, Boss."
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hyper-fixated-princess · 10 months
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I’m at the point where I’m not sure if what I know is actually canon or if it was something I read in an emotionally wrecking one shot on the Ao3 at 04:13 am
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undiscovered-horizon · 10 months
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"Four Crows Investigation" - Kaz Brekker x Reader
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[vulgar language]
[Part 2 - Lovebirds' Outfox]
☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾
Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi
SUMMARY: After Nina makes a passing comment about Brekker’s heartbeat, three crows join her in an investigation to uncover the true nature of your relationship with Kaz.
WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.4k
>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<
Sitting around the table, leaning forward in a secretive manner, the four Crows look nothing short of a conspiracy. Their appearance is in no way deceptive - that’s exactly the reason for their meeting. Nina looks between Jesper’s and Wylan’s shoulders, checking whether you and Kaz are in any way suspicious of their gathering. For now, you look a little too preoccupied with each other. Time for the final conference.
The Heartrender leans even further towards her friends, looking between them with a questioning gaze. She seems to be the most excited about this ‘secretive investigation’, as she called it a week ago, but that should not come as a surprise - all of this has been her idea from start to finish. The moment she noticed Kaz’s heartbeat significantly pick up when you showed up in a ball gown in an attempt to mix in with the immorally wealthy crowd at the banquet, Nina simply had to know more. Her friends, although reluctant at first, joined the scheme out of their own meddling.
“So, what did you manage to find out?” She’s trying to keep her voice quiet but the sheer excitement makes it difficult.
“I still don’t understand why we’re doing this,” Wylan stutters out while shaking his head gently. He may be part of a crime syndicate now but spying on his friends, and his boss, just seems too far.
“Because we care about them?” Jesper asks with fake worry in his voice. Then, a devious smile appears on his face. “And we’re morbidly curious.”
“Can’t we just ask them, then?”
“As if either of them is going to say something,” Inej grunts. Knowing both of you fairly well, she never expected a straightforward question to get anything outside of a snarky comment or a side-eye.
Nina impatiently taps her hand on the table. “Alright, who goes first?”
╚ Jesper’s Evidence  ╝
He knows Kaz is going to get angry the moment he walks through the door but, at the same time, Jesper’s kind of out of options. As much as he hates to admit it to himself and definitely will not do it aloud, he’s facing an impasse.
The moment he pushes the door open, your and Kaz’s eyes snap towards him. He makes a note of your shoulders - brushing against one another as you’re standing over scattered papers, a little too close for practicality or for the closeness to be accredited to accident. You’re definitely giving the impression that he walked in at an inconvenient moment.
But Jesper is good at bluffing, never giving away that he noticed the thought-provoking lack of space between you. “Carliogne won’t talk unless he sees the contract you signed with Bruglione,” he informs. “His reasoning is that we’re probably trying to fuck him over.”
Kaz stares at him for a moment with an unreadable expression. “We are,” he finally answers.
“Well, he doesn’t need to know that for now, does he?”
“It makes sense,” you speak up. Pondering, you nod to yourself. “If he sees the contract, he’ll become less cautious and playing him should be even easier. Just wait a second,” you wave your hand at Jesper, “I think I put it in the bottom drawer.”
The moment you crouch behind the desk, Jesper’s eyes catch movement - Kaz is covering the edge of the table over your head with his hand. Considering that he’s looking at papers in the opposite direction, he might not even be aware of this little habit. The gunslinger stifles a smile. Nina is going to love this.
Soon, you stand back up at the protective hand reaches to flip through a wad of documents as though nothing has happened. Extending your arm towards Jesper, you offer him the folded contract between your two fingers.
“Please, don’t get it stained.”
“Can’t make promises,” he says with a cheeky smile as he snatches the paper from you.
Jesper hears your groan right before he closes the door behind himself.
╚ Wylan’s Evidence  ╝
Wylan rarely got ‘field work’ aside from setting up explosives. The out-of-ordinary occasions were stake-outs, when he’d sit in one place for hours on end waiting for something to happen, having only Jesper’s company to pass the time - not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, that’s the only part that makes those ‘patrol duties’ bearable.
 Although he feels uneasy creepily watching, he’s supposed to wait for an agreed-on sign to carry out his part in the plan. And with Jesper gone to the bathroom, the responsibility of staying vigilant is his only. Sitting on the carriage bench, he has a good view of the street but most of his attention surrounds a certain table at a boulangerie near the junction. You and Kaz are doing a great job at looking common - just drinking coffee, chatting, completely run-of-the-mill people and definitely not hardened criminals ready to call their companions to action when their prey is in sight.
Wylan suddenly sits up, hardly believing the scene unfolding before his eyes: you offer Kaz your bagel and he just… bites it. No glares, no scowls, he just takes a bite and you continue the conversation. Maybe Nina was right and something is up.
The carriage shakes slightly as Jesper gets back on it. “What did I miss?” he asks in an upbeat voice.
╚ Inej’s Evidence ╝
It’s the middle of the night but Inej rarely works at other times. Only one thing stands between her and the comfort of her bed - Kaz. She’s well-aware that he’s still going to be working at this hour, making her wonder once more: when does he rest?
Kaz seems to be expecting her as he doesn’t even flinch when she barges into his office. He just looks up at her for a moment, only to return to writing something. Inej is about to tell him what Lorenzzo Carliogne had been up to during the day, when her eyes focus on a surprising singularity: the daybed standing in the corner of the office, used as an additional shelf or a desk most of the time, is occupied. First, she realizes that it’s you sleeping on it but then another, a much more interesting detail, catches her eye in the dim candlelight of the room - you’re covered with a coat that undoubtedly looks like it belongs to Kaz.
“I take it there’s a reason you’re here at this hour?” Brekker brings her attention back to himself.
“Yes,” she starts, sparing you one last glance before looking at Kaz, “Carliogne lives with his wife and three children. Staff comes in through a separate pair of doors, only the main chef and butler have keys to it. There’s a rotation in guards during lunch.”
“Good,” he answers. Kaz looks up at Inej but again, it’s just for a moment - his focus is soon directed at the papers in front of him.
A silence falls. The thought to inquire about you, the daybed and his coat passes her thoughts but an instinct dissuades her from doing so. Because realistically, what sort of answer would Kaz give her anyway? It’s better to spare herself the snark and just go to bed.
The four friends look between each other, curious whether all of them came to the same conclusion. Tense excitement hangs in the air. There is a certain aspect of juvenile nosyness that entices them, making this whole over-the-top operation fun and not just a gossip convention.
A pout twists Nina’s face. It would have looked sad if it wasn’t for her raised eyebrows, making her expression more compassionate than woeful. “They’re so in love it’s kind of embarrassing,” she announces.
Three pairs of eyes follow her pitiful gaze to the faraway table where you’re sitting with Kaz, oblivious to the interest the Crows have in you. It looks like you’re retelling him a story, gesturing wildly with one of your hands, while the other is kept on the table, underneath his gloved fingers. Kaz is just nodding along, answering something shortly from time to time. 
“Just look at them,” Jesper says with a sense of misguided pride as though he had some contribution in the makings of the couple. He’s shaking his head with amusement. “How could we ever had any doubts?”
“Do you think they know that we know?” Wylan asks quietly.
Inej shrugs. “I don’t think they care.”
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raz-writes-the-thing · 2 months
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Heated Gaze (SAB/SOC One-Shot)
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Kaz Brekker x GN!Reader 18+ / requests are open
Summary: Kaz likes to watch you play with yourself.
Fic type: smut
SAB/SOC: @the-sweet-psycho @midnight--raine (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Kaz was a simple man who liked simple pleasures- and watching you finger your own ass open while he watched from his comfortable leather couch was one of them.
Saints, how he loved the sight of you splitting yourself open on your own fingers for him, squirming with the burn and the tug of the stretch. He adjusted himself slightly, feeling himself straining against his slacks. Leather-clad fingers clenched around the cane perched on his lap.
Calculating eyes dilated with desire watched your expression, enraptured by your pleasure. Kaz smirked slightly when you managed to slip another finger inside.
"Touch yourself?" You asked breathily, rocking against your fingers. Your hooded eyes analysed his reaction, heat shooting down your nerves and straight between your legs.
Kaz's smirk widened into a predatory smile. Not quite a grin, but not far off either. He leaned forward in his seat, eyeing you hungrily. Arching a brow, he questioned you silently.
"Please sir," you added with a whimper, cheeks flushing at the look on his face. You weren't embarrassed to be fucking yourself on your fingers on the floor in front of him, but when he looked at you like that- as if he could see into the deepest parts of yourself, well, that turned you shy. Kaz Brekker could take you apart with one look and he knew it too.
Kaz brushed his coat open and parted his knees, rubbing a hand over his clothed cock. You noted his nostrils flaring and knew he was just as far gone as you were. You chewed on your lip, desperate to see more of him.
"Get your toy," Kaz demanded, undoing the button on his pants and taking himself out. You rushed to obey, grasping your toy from where it was waiting patiently on the coffee table. Kaz rubbed some oil onto his glove and swiped his thumb over the head of his cock.
You rubbed your toy against your sex, enjoying the brief stimulation, though Kaz's predatory warning look snapped you out of it quick smart. You placed it by your stretched out hole and waited for Kaz's command.
"Rub that pretty hole for me," he said, eyes caught on the erotic display. You obeyed, rubbing the oiled toy around your entrance. Your brows furrowed slightly with the effort of not giving in to your desire to push it inside. Instead, you pushed it up against your entrance teasingly- just like you daydreamed about Kaz doing sometimes.
"Put it in," Kaz breathed, voice cracking with lust. "Slowly," he added in a more commanding tone. You obliged, slowly pushing the toy through the ring of muscle fighting with you despite your preparations.
The toy wasn't hugely thick, but it was thick enough to stretch and burn, and as you pushed it inch by agonising inch, you couldn't help dropping your head back. You felt so fucking full- felt so good.
The sound of wet skin against leather caught your attention, and you looked up to see Kaz working at his cock, one hand tightening against his cane and the other pumping his cock rhythmically. Pleasure shot up your spine at the sight. There was something so fucking hot about seeing someone like Kaz- always so put together- seeing them come undone. Watching them let at least a little of their guard down.
Finally, the toy reached as far as it could go, and a truly inhuman groan of relief escaped you. You felt so fucking full. You were aching to play with yourself- to touch that spot that set your nerves alight.
"Again," Kaz grunted, fucking his gloved hand, though his eyes were on yours, drinking down the sight of you. You nodded, whimpering slightly as you started to bring the toy back out of you. The sense of fullness waned, and you hated how desperate it made you feel.
Pushing the toy back inside, your control started to slip, moving faster. You groaned, eyes rolling back into your head at how good the rough thrusting felt inside you rubbing up against your walls.
"Fuck," you panted, grinding your hips against it. "So fucking full. K-Kaz- feels so good."
Kaz grinned, fire glinting in his eyes. You whimpered as he devoured you with that look alone, pleasure seeping through his features. He gestured for you to come closer and you shuffled towards him.
"Do you want me to finish all over your filthy skin?" He asked, bottom lip catching between his teeth as his cock jolted. "Want me to cum all over your pretty belly while you fuck your ass with that toy?"
You whimpered, fucking yourself harder. Your other hand crept down to play with yourself, not caring if he punished you for that later or not. His eyes blazed, and the pace of his hand matched your own.
"Fuck, Kaz- yes, please-" you gasped, fighting to keep your eyes from closing so you could drink in every single detail of his face.
"Fuck yourself harder," Kaz grunted, pumping his cock furiously. His jaw tensed as he approached his peak. You did as you were told, fucking the toy into your ass as fast and hard as you could manage what with your other hand working at your sex. God, you wouldn't last long like this.
"S-Saints- oh-" Kaz broke off into a moan as his seed spurted from his cock, landing on your skin. You cried out, knowing that you, too, were about to finish.
His spend dripped from your chest and neck all the way down to where your hand met yourself, and the ravenous, heated look mixed with the softness he inhabited post-finish were enough to send you over as well.
You roiled on the floor, thighs jerking as you finally finished too. Pleasure rode out across your body as your muscles went from tense to oh-so-relaxed. You felt your ass clenching around the toy, and you groaned as you started to slow your motions.
You were exhausted, ready to just collapse on the floor. Sweat beaded along your skin, making you shimmer before him.
"Exquisite," Kaz murmured reverently. "You're perfect."
You flushed alongside your breathy chuckle, still catching your breath.
"I think that goes for you too, Kaz," you replied, sliding down onto the floor and stretching out your arms. "Oh, fuck, that feels good. What would you say to ordering some food from downstairs to be delivered up here?"
Kaz put himself away and nodded curtly.
"I am hungry, actually. Stay there, I'll be back."
You reached for the wash cloth that you'd pre-emptively brought up with you when Kaz had told you to get upstairs earlier and washed the mess from your body.
It wasn't long before Kaz was back, and it wasn't long after that before your food was brought up, steaming and delicious. If there was one perk to being with the Bastard of the Barrel, it was the food.
You enjoyed a nice night together. Eating, then having a quiet conversation about your day. Kaz even managed to brush his gloved hand over your arm once or twice.
It definitely made the soreness you dealt with in the morning much more tolerable.
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futurecorps3 · 11 months
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Hi!! I would like to request Kaz x f!reader
I’m so sorry that this is so long and if this isn’t making any sense I can’t explain things for the life of me😭 If you do write this, thank you so much, ily :)
Anyway picture this, a reader who is quite sneaky decides that it would be very funny if she snuck a little note with something like „I live for the way you smile so brightly” into Kaz’s coat when he’s not looking. She manages and when Kaz doesn’t bring it up at all, she sneaks another note in. This continues bcs the reader just thinks Kaz is ignoring it and automatically throwing out the notes without reading them or smth. Over the time the notes get a little bit more brave like „you looked very pretty today, Brekker” and become genuine copmliments. Now i have two ideas how could the ending go. Kaz just casually mentions in a conversations with reader the sweet notes which reader is completely shocked by Or reader finds themselfs curiosly looking around Kaz’s office and stumbles upon a little box on his table. Thinking it’s gonna be some kind of jewelry she opens it and sees ALL the notes she snuck into his coat. But uhoh Kaz steps into the office and his eyes widen when he sees reader standing over the box. Reader gets flustered trying to explain what the fuck was she even doing there but is greeted by Kaz’s silence. He’s embarrased about her now knowing that he has been keeping the little notes since the very beginning ijsksjdks istg I’m going insane
𝐒𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲
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Masterlist<3
Summary: The one where Y/N thinks she's being sneaky. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader Warnings: None I think!! Word Count: 2.3K Requested: Yes
A/N: YES YES YES YES I LOVE THIS!!!! I wanted to use the one where he mentions it casually in a conversation but it all led to reader finding out by accident. Tysm nonnie, enjoy, I'm sorry about the huge delay. Tough couple of months, hope u understand and that I did justice to this beautiful prompt, ily2 <3
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It all started as some stupid game. One only Y/N knew about. Everything about it was very silly, the sneaking around, coming up with what the note would say and when to put it inside his coat's pocket. The first time, the girl snuck the neatly folded paper when he excused himself to go to the restroom and left his jacket behind. Easy.
It read 'Your smile lights up the room, Brekker'. Cheesy, untrue and quite simple. She'd bet all her kruge on it, though. That bastard had a wickedly expressive smirk, so his full smile must be as sentimental as his smirk, right? Maybe her note would make him giggle in the confines of his office, maybe Kaz would burn the paper or toss it in the trashcan he so neatly kept under his desk. Truth is, Y/N didn't have an explanation or reason as to why she started all this nonsense.
The prospect of making Kaz angry or laugh even when she wouldn't witness it was probably it. The girl happened to be a sucker for the adrenaline rush of delivering her teasingly sweet notes, too. She got bolder and more creative, even getting the chance to sneak one during a job where she and Kaz had to pair up.
None of the crows knew except for Jesper, and surprisingly, he didn't tease her about it. When he caught her tucking a little pink piece of paper into the inner pocket of his boss' coat, he scoffed with a little smile and downed his whiskey glass.
"What on earth does it say and... why?" Jes smirked as Y/N returned to her seat next to him. "Not relevant, my friend. Don't snitch," "I could never, love." He laughed at his friend's eccentricities and let it slide. Another little secret shared between them wouldn't hurt nobody. Plus, her favorite sharpshooter had plenty to say when he was there to see Kaz discover the notes.
"I'm telling you, he smiled!" "Jesper, I don't care if he did," the girl giggled. She did. She cared a lot. "Kaz Brekker doesn't smile" "He did that weird upside down frown, not quite a smile, but he wasn't exactly displeased." Y/N had to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks by turning around, downing her glass of scotch. Had she really made Kaz smile? Or, somewhat, change that angry expression he seemed to keep, like it was carved carefully and perpetually on the sharp features of his face? There has to be an award to that, she thinks.
That note she remembered; there was a playful banter happening like many times before at the slat between the crows. They were all sitting down at one of the tables after a long day of kicking out pigeons upset because they lost all their money, drinks and giggles shared in a tired, dazed stupor.
"There is no way we could've made it without him. I mean, imagine me trying to carry Nina's dead-weight down two flights of stairs and out of that house." Y/N laughed as they recalled how useful Matthias turned out to be. "He's my favorite" Nina smiled, kissing the Fjerdan's cheek as he smiled proudly with a light red tint on his face (could be from the alcohol but they all knew his girlfriend made him nervous).
"And Inej, dear, I know I'm yours" the grisha teased her friend, pulling her close as the Suli girl smiled, not confirming or denying the allegations. Then Wylan, a bit tipsy and, for some reason defensive, hugged his boyfriend and declared: "Well, Jesper's my favorite," downing his glass. Jesper pulled it aside, pecking his head lovingly. "Inej's mine".
Wylan perked up from his place in Jes' arms with his mouth agape, making everyone break in laughter as the couple argued, their demo-man leaving the table with his boyfriend chasing after him trying not to laugh "Wait, dear I-I'm joking!" "No you were not! Take the couch". After they all calmed down, Matthias finally spoke. "Demjin, tell us, who's your favorite?".
Theatrical silence fell over the group. Kaz's heart sped up a little and Nina could tell, but said nothing. Then, as he scanned the group with a light smirk and his eyes lingered on Y/N for a minute longer, it sped up even more to then recede. "Oh, I know," the heartrender laughed, grabbing her glass to pour more alcohol on it. "You don't, Nina. I don't have favorites. You're all pretty solid assets," he said, voice deep and Y/N wondered how it would sound whispered in her ear.
"That's the closest we're getting to an 'I love you', guys. Hate to break it to you" Inej joked as everyone agreed. After a few more minutes, too tired to keep going, they all went to bed. Kaz woke up the next day to a note on his doorstep that said 'you're my favorite'. It was a bit different from the others he kept in his office. The letter was cursive, written in a rush on a slightly yellow piece of paper. Black ink.
"You plan on ever telling her?" A voice came from his side. Jesper stood, still in his white sleep shirt and trousers. "No one makes you smile. You should tell her, you know, at least." He was greeted by his boss's silence and the sound of his door closing.
Now, of course he knew. In fact, he figured it out after the fourth note or so, but Y/N didn't need to know that. Selfishly, he had been keeping that weird aching in his chest the girl brought all to himself for almost a year and it was getting tiring. Until he figured it out. He just hoped, to anyone who was willing to listen, that the notes weren't some joke for her.
He hoped that all those nights they spent enjoying the silence, the conversations where he'd let the wounded boy talk instead of the bastard of the barrel and she would listen attentively, almost lovingly, meant something to her. And that the notes were her way of saying 'I'm here and I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon'.
Y/N knew the game she came up with ended up being a breath of fresh air for all the compressed feelings she had for the boy. She had no problem with it. In the end, she was telling him every single thought that crossed her mind when those icy blue eyes turned into warmth when they were alone and he let his guard down. The things she knew she'd never say to Kaz's face.
Or so she thought.
It was a big coincidence, like a butterfly effect. Y/N came back from one of her many investigations (a trip to the Geldstraat to gather some information) and was walking up the stairs to Kaz's office to tell him what he found out. "Turns out you were right, he has two kids" she began, entering to an empty room. She should've left, see if he was in his room or downstairs watching the tables. Yet she didn't leave. Instead, with a heavy sigh, she sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk.
It gave off more of the energy from a studio rather than an office. He seemed to appreciate neatness, from the bookshelves with books arranged alphabetically to the candles placed in the appropriate places so the room could be lit perfectly at night. So, of course, she was going to notice the rectangular red box sitting messily on top of a stack of papers right in front of her.
Again, would've, could've, should've stayed in the chair. She got up and peeked. A shock ran through her body, suddenly feeling so very cold she almost turned to see if the window was open. There sat all of her notes, some a bit more used, probably from him folding and unfolding them several times. At the top was the one she sneaked just that morning; "I sometimes wonder if you think about me just as much as I do. Probably not. Have a good day, though".
A million questions running through her head. Why was he keeping them? Did he know she sent them? And most importantly, why was she so stupid!? Y/N could've just... not! Just not write those stupid notes like she had some stupid teenage crush on stupid Kaz and keep her stupid feelings to her stupid self. But no. She always had to be too much, huh? Her words and emotions spilled out of her like a river. The thing was so big it showed over her wrist.
The creek of the door. She was so inside her head she didn't hear Kaz's steps. Shit. Shit. Shit. Hoping it was her imagination playing tricks on her, she turned around. Hope died and there stood Kaz Brekker, wide-eyed and pale as a corpse. She felt like she had to say something and saints she tried, but the knot on her throat only let a choked, unintelligible sound.
It could've been hours, really. Both of them just stared at each other. Kaz was so unbelievably embarrassed he wanted to ask Jesper to just shoot him in the head to end his suffering, begging on his knees for someone to come and help him. He was never this careless, not with things like the notes. He left them out, going through them for the fourth time that week, to get a drink downstairs. How did he miss Y/N walking through the door?
"Kaz I was just here t-to uhm tell you what I found out on G-Garson. I promise I didn't mean to snoop around l-like I wasn't looking through your stuff. A-anyway who a-are these from? They're very swe-" "You don't have to pretend, Y/N."
He knew. A new dread consumed her, and she dropped her eyes to the floor as quick as humanely possible. So stupid. So stupid. "So stupid" "What?" said Kaz, letting out a breath he didn't realize he was keeping in "I'm so stupid, I'm sorry, Kaz. I-I don't know why I wrote those". Was she truly apologising to him, her head bowed in shame? For what? He looked forward to discovering one of those sweet little notes every day, wondering what kind of message she had left him this time.
Hope. He remembered the hope. Maybe he was this upset because the notes would stop now that she knew he knew? His eyes widened even more when he realized Y/N was standing right in front of him, waiting for Kaz to step out of the way so she could escape this torture. "You're right. You shouldn't have. Y-you should've just told me"
"Tell you what, Kaz?" the girl asked, taking a step back and looking straight into his eyes like he was doing. Kaz Rietveld spoke before Brekker could. "Tell me I am your favorite, that I'm on your thoughts nonstop every single fucking day, and that you consider I look lovely even with my hair in my face. If it is true, tell me right up front. I don't think I could stomach it being some crazy game, so please tell me it is real." Perplexed, she stared.
Kaz wanted it to be real, and she knew damn well it was. "You know I don't like games, Brekker. I mean it. All of it. Every single word is just me trying to catch my name in a whisper in your reactions... counting on making you smile, or at least, to temporarily jolt your thoughts from the generally dreary state they seem to be in."
He led a leather hand to grab hers, tangling their fingers with his. The boy couldn't help but notice how beautiful her eyes looked under the candlelight, warm y/e/c welcoming him home. Making him feel at ease in that saint forsaken land, knowing that with her by his side, everything seemed to be just fine.
"Y/N, since you entered my life, I have been acquainted with a new kind of light. Your presence has brought a certain innocence and laughter that I have not known before. Your character is resilient, as if it has been shaped by the hardships of this city. In my eyes, you are the embodiment of light, and I cannot help but find you lovely at all times, too"
It was a love that defied all logic and reasoning, a love that transcended the boundaries of time and space. They had each found in the other a place of serenity, a sanctuary where they could be themselves and forget the chaos of the world outside. With every passing day, their bond grew stronger, until a little piece of heaven was crafted, right there in their midst.
It was their own personal heaven, a place where they could bask in the warmth of knowing glances and brief touches, and where the mere presence of the other was enough to soothe their souls. They had found a love that whispered "I'm here" in the moments when it was necessary, a love that made a home for a broken boy and a shelter for a scarred girl who would go to the ends of the earth for him.
And as they stood there, hand in hand, they knew that they had found something special. They had found a love that was strong enough to weather any storm, a love that would see them through the trials and tribulations of life.
Together with time, they had created a world that was perfect in its imperfection, a world that was full of love, laughter, and joy. And as they gazed into each other's eyes, they knew that they had found their own personal piece of heaven on earth.
˚ · • . ° .
Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:)
Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!
Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3
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