#slavic groceries

[historia-vitae-magistras]

On at least one occasion, Matt has woken up, wandered into the kitchen like the ghost of a Victorian child, flicked on the lights and had a minor crisis. He's picking everything up and squinting at it because he can't read anything. How many rips did he take off the bong he can't remember getting out last night? Then he finally wakes up enough to realize he's not brain-damaged or baked, it's just all in Ukrainian and Polish because Katya did the shopping last. And he can read it.

[smarterthantheaverageloser]

*eats a beet* mmm, delightful! I should have another! *eats a beet* mmm, delightful! I should have another! *eats a beet* mmm, delightful! I should have another! *eats a beet* mmm, delightful! I should have another! *eats a beet* mmm, delightful! I should have another! *eats a beet* mmm, delightful! I should have another! *eats a beet* mmm, delightful! I should have another! *eats a beet* mmm, delightful! I shou

[wndaswife]

saving room for dessert | wanda maximoff & fem!reader

Dinner with the new neighbours sets you on edge due to the repeated subtle passes made at your wife. You reestablish your ownership over Wanda in the kitchen while your guests wait for dessert in the dining room.

Word count: 6864

Tags | MDNI: smut, domestic fluff, humour, jealousy, possessiveness, reader has a penis, handjobs, brief thigh fucking, daddy kink, degradation, but way more praise, what is the word for almost getting caught fucking in the room beside the dinner guests??, sub!wanda maximoff

A/N: the corny alliteration of vision and virginia's name was not my doing it is based on his comic series ndskjfnkjfn

The town of Westview was a rather quiet one, though both you and your wife really loved the neighbourhood community, for it was friendly and close-knit. When you first moved into Westview together, it was because Wanda’s job had relocated her to somewhere further than where you had previously lived, and close to the charming town that was alike to the kind you had always talked about living in together.

Both of you were delighted to find that the people of Westview were welcoming and kind, and that there were frequently tourists that made the small town buzz with life, for Westview’s small-town charm along with its infamous preservation of its older architecture and landscape was a sight that many of those from the more bustling areas of New Jersey enjoyed visiting.

Though Westview had a tightly-knit community and a steady flow of cheerful tourists, it was rather uncommon for the small town to get new people moving in, so when one of the new neighbours ended up working alongside Wanda, the two of you were rather eager to get to know them — a long-time married couple with two children who’d graduated from college and were now living elsewhere.

After about two weeks of scheduling between the four of you, dinner that had long been spoken about was finally happening at yours and Wanda’s. 

You were looking forward to it, for Wanda spoke quite highly of the wife, who she described as an extremely kind and funny woman. You had spoken with her a few times too, but only by chance like under casual circumstances when you were bringing in groceries with Wanda and she was out gardening. 

Additionally, Virginia, the wife, lived in Russia until she was eight, and though Wanda was Sokovian, the two were able to initially enjoy discussing their Slavic similarities in culture and dialect until they became closer, chatting casually about things from their spouses to Westview. Eventually, conversation led up to Wanda inviting Virginia and her husband, Vision, over for dinner. 

You were looking forward to it, and though Wanda was looking forward to dinner with the neighbours too, she also enjoyed hosting and cooking, and so the kitchen was busy and smelling wonderfully for the last little while as you cooked together. 

Mostly, it was Wanda who took the lead with cooking, but since being married, her talents had rubbed off on you; you could now dice onions at perhaps two-thirds of the speed she could, and Wanda also always says you’re good at cleaning up after her while she cooks.

But also, you really just loved doing things like this with her, when you could just talk about anything, just the two of you, while doing things you could only dream about when the two of you were still only dating, living in a place together that you could also only dream about back then. 

You wrapped your arm around your wife’s waist once she slid the potato dauphinoise into the oven and shut it, pulling her into your body and kissing her forehead. “I love you,” you uttered into her warm skin. 

She held your chin in her hand and angled your face to hers so she was able to kiss your lips. “I love you too,” she replied, smiling sweetly at you. 

Your guests were five minutes early, perhaps to make a good impression, for they could have been exactly on time if they so preferred seeing as though they lived right next door. 

It was you who opened the door as Wanda was finishing up a few things in the kitchen, ensuring the cheesecake you had made earlier was comfortably sitting in the fridge waiting until it was time to serve dessert.

Also, she thought it’d be a good impression for you to greet them first, since you’d yet to meet either of them officially.

Cheesecake was actually your signature greatest achievement in the kitchen aside from nearly — not nearly at all, really, but you like to boast — keeping up Wanda’s onion-chopping. You’d taken the cheesecake recipe from a cookbook, and it was Wanda who adjusted most of the measurements and changed some of the ingredients, but it was you who could make it perfectly.

Well, Wanda could make it perfectly too, and probably better, but she never tried; she liked the way you made it, and gave you recipe credit though it was her who really reconstructed it to be what it tasted like now. But she always says that it was you who found the original recipe, at the end of the day.

Not that any of that would matter to your guests, and maybe it might be a story told over dinner if the topic came up, but it mattered plenty to you and Wanda; you wanted to concoct a special dinner together, preparing dishes with special meaning. Though some of said meanings were not as profound in their history as the cheesecake’s, like how Wanda lathered the dinner rolls in butter a second time halfway through because you liked when the top of the rolls weren’t completely dry by the time they were finished baking.

In any case, the intention was to host a dinner that was friendly and warm, and so the dinner spread was selected with intention.

“Hi,” you greeted with a smile, waving a bit awkwardly for no reason at all before ushering them into the foyer and closing the front door behind them. “You must be Virginia — I’ve heard lots about you from Wanda.”

The woman, slightly taller than you and with smooth, soft looking dark hair that ended at the mid-way point of her slender neck, beamed at you as she stepped into the house, her husband following behind her. She took your hand with both of hers, warm fingers caressing your hand gently. “And you must be Y/N. I’ve also heard quite a bit about you from Wanda,” she said, eyes crinkling at their edges as she smiled.

She gestured to her husband, a clean-shaved blonde man with aviators, slightly shorter than his wife but still a bit taller than you. “This is my husband, Vision,” she introduced. “I don’t believe even Wanda’s yet met his acquaintance.”

It was when Vision shifted the lidded ceramic bowl into his other hand to free one in order to shake your hand that you realised he was carrying something. You shook his hand with a friendly smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” he said cordially and with a smile.

“Virginia!” Wanda cheerfully greeted as she walked into the foyer, hair fixed up and now without her cooking apron on. They exchanged a hug and Virginia kissed her cheek before introducing Wanda to her husband.

“Thank you for having us,” Virginia said appreciatively. “We’re both thrilled to finally get to know both of you better.”

Wanda replied, sharing a tenderness with Virginia within their met eyes, “You’re very welcome. Y/N and I have been looking forward to tonight all week.”

“Oh,” you interjected softly, realising Vision was still holding his ceramic bowl. “I’m so sorry, let me take this into the dining room for you.”

“In fact, I’ll also take the both of you into the dining room too,” Wanda added lightheartedly. “Let’s get out of the foyer. You can set your shoes down anywhere by the door, and the coat rack’s right here.”

Once wine had been poured and everyone’s plates were served the dinner you and Wanda had made together — pomegranate-brined chicken with white balsamic charred peach, potato dauphinoise, and a medley of some vegetables — you each sat at the dining room table, enjoying your dinner together.

There was conversation about how wonderfully everything tasted, and you were sure to credit Wanda with taking charge in the kitchen, allowing her to talk a little bit about how she prepared the meal and delving into details the couple asked her about, like how she had made the potato dauphinoise so creamy. 

You began to truly enjoy their company for how much they were complimenting your wife.

Until there was Vision’s, You’re a gorgeous woman who can put together an equally as gorgeous dinner spread — Y/N’s hit the jackpot.

“Dinner couldn’t have been done without Y/N,” Wanda assured and then looked at you with a proud smile mostly meant for your eyes, but you weren’t paying as much attention to her as you were scrutinising Vision’s body language after his comment.

It wasn’t… inherently malicious.

But there was something implicative in his wording that made you slightly sceptical of him.

Perhaps in an attempt to… Well, you actually weren’t entirely sure what Virginia was attempting to do when she lightly corrected, “Both Y/N and Wanda have hit the jackpot finding each other. You two seem so perfect for each other. Not to mention, if I might be so blunt, you’re a rather attractive couple.”

Wanda laughed, but in the way she regarded Virginia’s expression for just an additional moment before looking back down to her plate to respond with something humble and bashful, you knew she was also curious about the other couple’s compliments.

“I moved the wine around!” you tried, intentionally poorly, to call after Wanda when conversation came around to discussing the different wines you had, resulting in Wanda leaving to go get one the opposite couple loved. “Sorry, if you’ll excuse me, I don’t believe I’ve yet told her how I reorganised down there.”

As you headed down the hallway, you inhaled and exhaled thoroughly to untie the uneasy kink in your stomach, sure to keep your shoulders still so your tenseness wasn’t obvious to your guests who could still see your back until you headed downstairs to where the wine was kept, for their comments hadn’t stopped since the first time.

Wanda looked over her shoulder at you when you descended the stairs and she straightened from looking around at the selection. “Baby, do we still have the Pinot Grigio they were asking about?” she asked, hands on her hips as she leaned back a bit and ran her eyes over the selection on the wall in front of her.

“Are they swingers or something?” you asked as you approached, placing a hand atop Wanda’s hand on her hip as you reached around her and took the white from the wall to her left.

“Oh, you moved them,” Wanda noted, thanking you when you handed it to her. 

You stood beside her in front of the wine rack and repeated your question, looking up at the closed basement door before asking again. “Are they swingers?”

“What?” Wanda looked up from surveying the wine, looking confused. “What are swingers?” 

Clarifying, you replied, “Couples who sleep with other couples.”

“Them?” she asked incredulously and laughed. You took that as a ‘no,’ then looked over at the basement door curiously as if you could see them through it, ruminating over their comments. Then Wanda was silent and unmoving and you looked at her as she was tapping her fingers against the glass of wine, seemingly in deep thought of her own. “Well… Come to think of it…”

“Wanda!” you hissed. “You invited swingers over to our place for dinner!”

“I didn’t know!” she answered. “I just thought… Virginia talks about her sex life often and I suppose there are some times that she’s alluded to… to swinging about with other couples—”

“It sounds weird when you use that term like that — just say sleeping with,” you interrupted.

Your wife gave you a look and you cracked a tiny amused smile before she continued. “Anyway, yes, I suppose they’re swingers. I didn’t know!”

With your arms crossed, you tapped your fingers against your upper arm in thought, and Wanda supposed you were thinking of how to converse with them now that you both knew they were swingers. But instead you asked hesitantly, meeting Wanda’s eyes, “Are you… interested in that?”

Wanda scoffed. “Y/N, no. Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied. You surveyed her face for a moment longer and she fully turned her body to face you. “You really think I want to sleep with other couples?”

“No, I don’t, but we’ve never had the conversation before, so it’s possible that you’ve had it on your mind before, even in passing.”

She assured, “I do not want to sleep with anyone else but you.” It was almost funny to hear those words come out of her if you thought about it with no context, but context given, it was really a relief to you. “I’m entirely satisfied with only us, and the thought of being with anyone else disturbs me greatly. I’m not offended that you asked just to make sure, but the idea of being with another couple, or anyone but you, has never been anything that I’ve entertained. Y/N, I didn’t even know what swinging was until a moment ago.”

“Okay?” she checked in, her voice soft, letting her other hand with the wine hang by her hip while she stepped towards you and cupped your cheek with a warm hand. “I really didn’t know — and not even subconsciously, if you’re thinking that.”

“Okay,” you confirmed and smiled at her, causing Wanda to smile at you in response. She leaned forward and kissed you.

When she pulled away, she met your eyes and your chest warmed when Wanda’s smile crinkled the sides of her eyes. Her thumb rubbed against your chin adoringly. “I’m unsure how we ought to go about signalling a lack of interest in having sex with them,” she told you.

“Just a lack of reciprocation, maybe?” you suggested, and at that, you perked up at the recollection of their commentary that you now knew was flirtatious. “Wanda, if Vision calls you gorgeous one more time, I’ll fuck you over the dining table monogamously in front of them — I’m serious. It’s driving me crazy. He’s right, but to know they’re both just thinking of how much more gorgeous you’d be if we were all having sex is rather startling.”

It wasn’t that they weren’t making subtle passes at you too, but since Wanda was far more communicative and talkative, it was natural that their efforts to become closer circulated your wife far more than it did you.

Wanda laughed and pushed at your shoulder playfully, her head thrown back slightly. “You’re such a freak,” she said. She took your hand and you headed out of the basement together. “It’s okay. Now that we’ve spoken about it together, I’m sure it’ll be much less awkward since we know they’re swingers. It likely won’t be a problem until they bring it up, and then we can clarify that we’re not interested.”

The plan was more than simple, but it failed to consider how agitated you were becoming, little comments now seeming much larger now that their intentions were clarified between you and your wife. 

It was things from Virginia noting how you seemed to be the one to ‘take charge’ in the marriage, to asking outright how often the two of you had sex, about children and the possibility of them, and plenty of other things that were likely of no consequence but seemed irritating to you because you were simply irritated. 

Mostly, it was Virginia’s comments that were permitted to be slightly more vulgar as it was she who asked about yours and Wanda’s sex life, for she was now more than only work friends with your wife, and she’d shared much about her own intimate tendencies with Vision before. 

The conversations about sex weren’t crude, and mostly they were merely jokes, but knowing the intentionality behind them now made them far more than that.

But it was about more than references to sex; there were comments made about how both you and Wanda were such a perfect couple, how well you worked together and how kind you were — observations upon observations about how you and Wanda were within your marriage.

It seemed they had standards, at least.

And truly, Virginia and Vision were kind people and you would thoroughly enjoy having them as neighbours as soon as it was made clear that you and Wanda weren’t interested in sleeping with them.

What irritated you wasn’t necessarily all about them and their commentary, for they knew not that you and Wanda weren’t interested, and anyways, if Virginia had been alluding to being a swinger along with her husband on several occasions, this dinner might very well be interpreted by them as interest.

So you didn’t necessarily dislike them.

It was all true that you and Wanda made a wonderful pair and that Wanda was gentle and so generous, and that she was beautiful and all the things that had been said about her tonight. 

She was very funny too when she wanted to be, and had great taste in movies and all her clothes always sat so well on her shoulders, and her hair was always so soft and the crook of her neck was always very warm, and her fingers were gentle and curious when she had them wrapped around you, and she was so delicate when she slept, and her elbows were a nice shape, though you don’t think you ever told her what you thought about her elbows — all this Virginia and Vision didn’t know, but for whatever reason, you thought so much about it all.

And for another inexplicable reason, it was rather related to how irritated you were.

“Y/N and I have been married for two and a half-ish years now,” Wanda said in response to a question you weren’t listening to, placing her hand on your thigh. You looked over at her and she smiled at you sweetly. 

You’d only said a few things in the last few minutes, little comments and visible reactions to show that you were engaged in the conversation, but nothing majorly contributory. You looked to the side in brief thought then said, “Two years and… seven months.” 

With a second more to think, you also added, “Three days.”

Wanda thought that was funny, but also sweet, and her smile widened, perking up her ears slightly as her smile grew. She squeezed your knee and pulled her hand away to take a sip of wine. “Indeed — two years, eight months, and three days.”

“If we feel so inclined to place trust in my math,” you joked modestly.

You watched as Wanda conversed further with your guests, watching the way she laughed and how she looked over at you often to see your reactions to things or to just make eye contact with you. Specifically, you liked when she looked at you while she was laughing to see if you were also laughing, to share in that joy with you.

As you watched your wife between sips of wine, there was a rupture of adrenaline that came over you. All that you’d been thinking of about Wanda wasn’t some abstract concept about some idea of Wanda — they were all about the woman you loved, the woman who loved you, the woman you were married to.

The woman who was yours, and who’d only ever be yours, as you were hers.

The thought warmed you and made you feel delighted, but your cheeks felt warm and the wine warmed your throat and chest in such a pleasant way, and suddenly, you needed Wanda then and there like you knew you had her.

“Are we all ready for dessert?” Wanda asked, looking around at the table to see everyone’s plates empty with their silverware to the side. 

When Vision confirmed for both himself and Virginia, Wanda said, “Y/N’s made a wonderful cheesecake for the occasion. She can be quite the chef.” Her praise made you feel a bit bashful and you smiled at her gratefully.

Virginia expressed excitement for dessert while you and Wanda collected the empty plates to bring to the kitchen, letting them know it’d be a few minutes.

You followed behind Wanda as she headed down the hallway and into the kitchen. Dishes were thoroughly emptied and rinsed before being placed into the sink while Wanda carefully took the cheesecake out of the fridge.

“Can you take this?” she asked, holding the cake out to you. You took it from her and placed it on the island counter at the centre of the kitchen. “I think I’ll slice some fresh fruit and arrange it nicely on top. I didn’t want to do it before it was served or it wouldn’t be fresh.”

You were listening, but not quite taking in what she was saying. You watched her closely as she took out some fruits and honey from the fridge and brought it to the counter before taking out the cutting board. She tucked loose hair behind her ears and pushed her sleeves up.

Her neck was exposed and you felt the urge to smell her perfume, feel the warmth of her skin against the tip of your nose.

You stepped forward so your pelvis was pressed against her hip, an arm wrapped around her waist as you pulled her close and ducked your head beyond the strands of her hair, burying your nose in her neck. She tipped her head to the side, allowing you room to kiss up her neck.

You felt the vibrations of her laugh against your lips.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I need you,” you answered briefly, using your other hand to tug her sleeve down slightly and expose some of her shoulder so you could kiss there too. There was no response from her aside from a soft hum, and you knew it had been on her mind too. “Don’t tell me you haven’t been thinking about it; all their implications have made me think of you all night.”

“And that constitutes you needing me now?” she asked, turning her head to look down at your face along the slope of your nose and forehead seeing as your face was still half-buried within the crook of her neck. “I would have thought you’d be too busy brooding.”

She was trying half-heartedly to taper your desire, but the soft inflection in her voice told you she’d certainly felt the same thrum you’d been feeling too.

“I was busy with far more important things.” You wrapped your fingers around her wrist carefully and led her hand down to between your hips, and in spite of her hesitation, Wanda’s fingers wrapped delicately around you through your pants. Your hips immediately bucked into her hand.

Wanda inhaled sharply then sighed at the feeling of you. “Y/N…” Your name trembled on her lips. You watched as she swallowed, eyes flickering up at the hallway in front of you both. Her jaw tensed and she looked back down, fingers twitching as she internally fought against her most rational objections.

She bit the inside of her cheek before her hand moved, unbuttoning your pants then unzipping. She met your eyes, her hand pausing momentarily, perhaps wishing you might change your mind suddenly and stop her before she was unable to stop herself. But you said nothing, only meeting her eyes with stubborn conviction.

Your gaze made her cheeks flush a soft pink and Wanda shifted in her spot, pushing her own hips against the edge of the island counter, no doubt feeling her own desire growing. She looked down and tucked her hand past the waistband of your underwear, pulling it down along with your pants until your cock was free.

“I’ve been thinking about having your lips around my cock,” you whispered, your lips brushing against the lobe of her ear. “About the way you groan when I pull out just enough so you can taste the way you make me feel against your tongue before I fuck myself down your throat. I thought about how beautiful your pussy looks when I lay you down and spread your cunt open. I thought about you.”

Her breathing became heavy at the sight of your arousal, seeing how you twitched as you spoke about her. Her hand wrapped around you, her thumb brushing gently over your sensitive tip and eliciting a soft grunt from you.

“Fuck, Wanda,” you cursed from beyond clenched teeth. Your hips twitched forward into her hand and Wanda didn’t wait a moment before giving you the friction you wanted, her hand jerking around you and repressing a moan of her own as she felt you throb and twitch in the warm confines of her palm.

Your arm wrapped around her waist advanced upwards, pulling up some of her shirt and exposing some of her lower stomach as your hand groped at Wanda’s clothed breast.

She let out a soft moan and you watched as she squeezed her thighs together and further pressed her pelvis into the kitchen counter in desperation. Her hand gained speed, ensuring to graze around your tip each time her hand continued its rhythm around you. Her head rested on your shoulder as she watched the way she touched you, watched the way you let her touch you, her breaths shaky as she felt her own desire climb.

But how could you deny your wife mutual pleasure?

You moved the cutting board to the side and Wanda watched as you readjusted things. 

“Y/N, don’t,” she protested quietly. “We can’t.”

Ignoring her, you moved from her side, her hand releasing from around you as you placed your hands on her hips and pressed her against the counter. 

You unbuttoned her pants and watched over Wanda’s shoulder as she watched your hands, her chest rising and falling, gripping the edge of the counter. She was so warm against your body and her perfume smelled so nice. 

You pulled her pants down along with her underwear, allowing you to press your cock against her perfect ass. 

Wanda exhaled a deep, trembling sigh and she leaned forward against the counter. “Y/N,” she weakly protested again, reaching back and trying to swat your hand away. 

Impatient about wanting her to give up her hesitation, you pulled her pants down further below her ass and slotted yourself between her thighs, parting her wet cunt with your dick and brushing your tip against her clit. 

Her head fell back against your shoulder and you felt her thighs squeeze together ever so slightly, nudging you up against her clit. 

“We can’t?” you asked. 

“They’ll…” Wanda braced herself again and straightened her back, knuckles turning white as she pressed the pads of her fingers into the underside of the counter. “They’re in the other room. We’d have to…”

“Be quick?”

She nodded. 

“I can be quick,” you told her. You kissed the corner of her jaw, the hollow part behind her earlobe. “You know I can be quick.”

Your hand slid down her stomach, the heel of your hand brushing against the space between her hips before your fingers found her clit. Carefully, you brushed them against her, feeling the way she twitched her ass back against you, subtly rubbing herself against your cock that was still throbbing between her thighs. 

“Beg me to fuck you.”

Wanda looked over her shoulder at you. “What?” she asked. “I thought you wanted–”

“But you were so adamant that we couldn’t. Now, I’m not so convinced myself,” you said. “You’ll have to beg me.”

“Y/N, please,” she whispered impatiently. 

You gave a quick pinch to her clit and Wanda repressed a yelp as her body jolted against yours. “That’s not how you beg, baby.”

Wanda urged, “We don’t have time.”

“Make time.”

Impatient, you spanked Wanda’s ass lightly and took a handful of the soft flesh, eliciting a sharp inhale from your wife before she sighed out, “Oh, Y/N…”

She reached back, parting from your hips to make enough room for her hand. She wrapped her hand around your cock and stroked it slowly, bending herself over the counter and presenting herself to you obediently. 

“Please, daddy,” she begged. “I want you inside me. I want… I want you. Please. I need you.”

You watched as her desperate hand continued to pleasure you, watched as her back arched as she bent over the counter. You pushed her shirt up her back, eyes running up the delicate curve of her spine and feeling with your palm the smoothness of her soft skin. 

“Are you… Are you going to?” Wanda asked nervously, fully aware of the fact that you had every liberty to pull away and forget all about wanting to fuck her right there and then. She wasn’t exactly meeting your eyes, not that she could at the angle she was looking back over her shoulder at you, but she wasn’t exactly trying to either, for the possibility of you leaving her all desperate and unfucked was all too real.

You hummed in what sounded like consideration, but really, you were just running your eyes down the curve of Wanda’s lower back and the perfect swells of her ass, watching the way she continued to hesitantly stroke you, desperate to please and desperate to have you inside of her.

“How could I deny you, Wanda?” you finally answered, and you saw your wife flush from beyond her mess of loose strands, looking away and at the hallway ahead that led to the dining room. 

“We really have to be quick,” she reminded, letting go of you but not without brushing her thumb over your tip again. 

A hand came to her upper back and flattened her against the kitchen counter, a soft grunt leaving Wanda as was pressed down against the marble. “You really overestimate yourself if you really think it’ll take very long to get you to come,” you mocked, hands hooking under her hips and around her upper thighs, arching her back further and sticking her ass up. 

At the sight of her cunt, you groaned and parted her sticky mess with your thumb and middle finger, brushing your index finger down across her clit. You ran your thumb across her hole, dipping ever so carefully into her before removing your hand to position yourself against her opening.

“I couldn’t help but notice,” you said, “how embarrassed and shy you were every time they mentioned sex or asked about our sex life. Trust me, there were dozens of other things running through my head, but one in particular.”

Wanda gripped at the edge of the counter, taking in a breath as she felt you prod at her opening with your tip, dipping in just enough for her to feel the stretch of your cock sliding into her. “What… What was it?” she asked quietly.

“I wondered why you felt such an urge to act so embarrassed talking about sex when you know what a fucking slut you are,” you gritted out before your hands tightened around her thighs below her hips and pulled her ass back against you so your cock slid into her with a single thrust. 

You leaned forward to grunt against her shoulder, muffling your noises and letting your wife know how good she felt. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good around my dick, angel,” you groaned. “Sweet innocent girls wouldn’t be able to take cock like this, Wanda. You put up a front when you’re with them, but you know how much you love getting your pussy fucked raw by daddy. Isn’t that right?”

Wanda shut her eyes tightly, her moans and yelps being only partially-swallowed as she tried to keep them from escaping past her lips, though it become increasingly difficult as you began thrusting forward, trapping her between the kitchen counter and your hips and forcing her to withstand the entire impact of your brutal fucking.

“Th-That’s right…” she conceded.

“I know it is,” you agreed. “I know it is, because it’s fucking filthy. You’re a filthy slut, baby. You can hear it, can’t you?” You reached down to rub your fingers against your wife’s clit. “You can feel how much it turns you on that you’re all daddy’s, that daddy can fuck you whenever she wants because she owns you.”

Your forehead laid against her shoulder and Wanda reached up to cradle the back of your head with her hand, interlacing her fingers with your hair.

“That’s right. Fucking take it,” you grunted into her ear, feeling yourself growing closer each time Wanda’s walls squeezed around you, listening to her delicate high-pitched yelps every time you pinched her clit or thrusted into her so hard her ass stung with the way your skin slapped against hers. 

Her hips were beginning to become sore with the way they were pressed against the edge of the counter.

“Do any of you need help in there?” Virginia called from the dining room, audibly beginning to head down the hallway to the kitchen. 

“A-Ah, no!” Wanda called back, her attempts at repressing her moans making her response come out slightly more aggressive than she’d wished. “Please don’t! We’re almost finished. Just…” Her head hung as she quickly ran out of excuses, but she couldn’t bring herself to push you away — not when she was so, so close.

Not when you felt this good inside of her, holding her so close against you.

You felt so good with your arms around her.

You took a handful of Wanda’s ass as you shoved her further down against the counter so she was being soundlessly fucked from behind as her hair gradually became undone, her shirt riding up to expose that beautiful curve of her spine that you loved. 

“Wanda’s a bit of a perfectionist with decorating the cake,” you added, digging your nails into her malleable flesh and watching as smooth ivory tinted into a flushed red. “She wants it to be a surprise!”

“I promise we’re… we’re nearly finished!” Wanda called back, slightly breathless, before quickly burying her face into her arms and muffling herself.

Virginia gave in, saying something about having the both of you promise not to work too hard because both she and Vision would love the cake anyways. But neither of you paid much attention once you heard her walking back down to the dining room.

“You feel so good inside of me, daddy,” Wanda whimpered into her arms. “Please come inside. I want to feel you. I wanna feel how warm you are.”

Being degraded always turned Wanda on, but it was being praised that made her come; you loved how your wife was so sensitive to sweet things like that.

So you lifted her from the counter with your arm wrapped around her waist so her arms were taut with her hands gripping the edge of the counter again. From here, you were pressed against her with access to whisper into her ear.

“You’ve been so good for me, haven’t you, sweetheart?” you complimented against her cheek, pressing a kiss there and running your hand beneath the confines of her shirt. “All nervous and hesitant to let daddy make you feel good at first, but you knew better later, didn’t you? You know that I know what’s best for you, honey.”

Wanda nodded fervently. “Yes, I…”

Your hand pulled Wanda’s bra to the side and you kneaded her breast with your hand, feeling the way her nipple hardened against your palm before moving to the other and pinching her other nipple between your thumb and forefinger. “Oh, I know,” you cooed when she leaned back against you with a prolonged, quiet moan. “My princess, you’re such a good girl.”

“Why don’t you listen to what a good girl you are, hm?” you asked, moving both your hands down to grip her hips again and pulling her against you. You watched in detail as you pulled out of her, her glistening pussy wrapped around your cock, before you thrusted back in, your obedient wife taking every inch. 

Both of you listened to how her cunt sounded around your dick, her slick coating you as you throbbed inside of her, her tight walls squeezing you in just the right way, feeling the way the pressure from her walls gripped around your tip when you pulled out at just the right length.

“Fuck, baby, your pussy feels so good,” you groaned, leaning back so you could watch the way her ass looked when you rutted your hips against her. Unable to help yourself in spite of the noise you knew it might make, you delivered a spank to the side of Wanda’s ass. 

You then wrapped your arm around Wanda’s waist again, your other hand moving up to cup the side of her cheek and turn her head around so you could kiss her lips. “Come on, angel, fuck yourself on daddy’s cock. Let me see how badly you wanna come on my dick.”

Wanda obediently began moving, arching her back to allow herself leverage to fuck herself back against you, listening to how her ass slapped back against your hips.

“That’s good, baby. You’re so beautiful,” you breathed out against her neck, kissing the warm expanse as you listened to Wanda whimper and try to hold herself together until you gave her permission to come. Your hand groped her breast again. “You’re so needy for daddy’s cock, hm? You’re making such a fucking mess, Wanda.”

“Y/N…” Wanda whispered, her arm reaching back to grab at the edge of your shirt. “Please let me come. Please.” You kept your chest pressed against her upper back, allowing her to meet your eyes when she turned her head to plead.

“Come all over daddy’s cock, baby, come on,” you permitted. “I love to see you all desperate for me. Let me see you come, Wanda.”

Wanda ground her ass back against your hips, burying your cock deep within her pussy as she came around you, walls gripping at your twitching cock. You felt her pulsate around you as she grasped desperately behind her, searching for your hand. 

You interlaced your fingers with hers and kissed her lips as you came to your own hilt, emptying yourself inside of her and letting her feel your warm cum fill her up to the brim until you could feel yourself dripping out from the sides of her cunt.

Weakly, you continued thrusting into her, fucking your cum deep inside of her as Wanda whimpered, sensitive and still pulsing around you as she felt your sticky warmth shoot up inside of her. 

“Oh… I love when you come inside of me, Y/N,” she breathed out, satisfied and tired as she let go of your hand and used both to balance herself against the counter as she slumped forward.

You grinned at her and kissed the back of her neck as you pulled her underwear up first, giving her sensitive cunt a quick swipe through her panties, telling her to keep your cum in for as long as she could. Then you did her pants back up and did the same for yourself.

The rest of the cheesecake decorating went relatively fast after Wanda quickly cleaned herself up in her kitchen window reflection. 

Actually, neither of you had ever decorated a cheesecake so fast considering you decided to go a bit overboard with some whipped cream to make up for how long you both took — it would’ve made far more sense to come out with a more intricately decorated cake. It was a decently-sized cake, just enough for four people to enjoy, so it didn’t take as long as it would’ve if it were sized regularly.

“Oh, we were so worried you might’ve needed help with the dessert,” Virginia said the moment the both of you stepped into the dining room, Wanda with the cake in hand and you with the plates and silverware.

“We’re so sorry,” Wanda apologised. “One of us set the cake lopsided in the fridge and it came out a bit kooky, so we had to reshape it and all. And then the organising of the fruit and—” She waved her hand dismissively as she set the cake down. “Well, it’s all finished now.”

You set the plates down for everyone along with their respective knives and forks. “We hope you didn’t have to wait too long,” you told them apologetically.

Aside from how your initial impression as a couple spiked Virginia and Vision’s interest in wanting to sleep with both you and Wanda, the meal thus far must’ve paid off, for they really didn’t seem irritated at all after waiting for dessert. 

And they did end up enjoying the cake too.

Except for Wanda, however, who seemed to be rather distracted with something else. You watched as she kept readjusting herself in her seat, her thighs squeezing together every so often and taking sips of her wine just to fidget with the handle of the glass.

You were rather eager to fuck your wife in the bedroom too after dinner, but before that, to see how much of your cum had leaked out of her.

By the looks of it, she had failed to hold much of it in.

[merilaurecus]

Companions reactions to Modern!Tav from Earth coming back to Faerûn to visit

Gale (Blackstaff Academy Professor ending)

He was the one to help you get back (with a bit of help from Elminster I suppose)

More than happy to see you (and that his magic worked!)

Will do his best to stay quiet about your little comeback (Tara will do her best to keep him quiet too)

Will offer magic lessons since you're back in the world where The Weave™️ exists (this dude loves magic, won't let an opportunity like that slip, especially when he becomes ✨Professor Dekarios✨)

Will tell you everything that happened in your absence, much like the others

Genuinely happy to have you back, even if it's for a moment

Will cook something, you can prepare an extra pack for faerûnian food from him

Tara demands pets. Just not on the belly.

You're free to spend a while in the Academy, even join some lesson as a guest or a guest teacher

Astarion (vampire spawn in Baldur's Gate ending)

He finds you in the dead of the night, thinking you're one of the bad guys

When he pins you to the ground with a dagger it just feels like the old days

Immediately loosens his grip when he recognizes you

"What in the hells? What are you doi- How did you even do it?!"

Happy to see you as well and does not even need to hide it as he'd usually do

Together you hunt someone that night, for the sake of the old times

You both recall what you've been up to

If you let him drink your blood again he'll be elated

But careful as a babe. This time he'll be good to his words

Surely has some news from the spawn family (if he didn't join them in the Underdark). Reads you some letters from Gur and other spawn. Takes breaks while reading the one from Sebastian. You hug him understandingly

You end up watching the sunrise before the sun is too high and you leave to seek other companions

Wyll & Karlach (yeet into the Avernus ending)

You kind of didn't expect to see them

They went to Avernus after all

They're the ones to spot you

"SOLDIER?! IS THAT YOU?!" are the only words you hear before you're pulled into Mama K's tight hug, unable to let go

Anyway you're not willing to let go. I mean who would want to?

Wyll's surprised too, they're both excited and curious how did you do it.

They were just about to meet his father (obviously), last thing they expected was to see their friend from another world.

You just jump in and go with them, asking how things are going with Karlach's engine, both excited and worried

Finally hearing good news (about the forge) makes you talk about heart surgery again ( @tavshortfortavern thanks for the idea!; also special thanks for inspiring me to write my own headcanons, love Yours!)

You spend the rest of the day meeting with Ulder, training, talking and having a drink in the Blushing Mermaid in the evening with Astarion who 'accidentally' found you

You all almost get too drunk but you don't care, because it's a memorable night

You toast for Gale who pulled it off and thought about it in the first place

Lae'zel (Freeing Githyanki edition)

Also kinda unexpected and brief meeting

You can see she's pleased with meeting you again (even if she's reluctant to show it)

She tries to keep her cool, she's leading a rebellion and most likely has an important meeting here

'Never thought I'd see you. Did you get lost in the realms again?'

After finding out how did you do it she nods in acknowledgement. Probably doesn't want to compliment the wizard

You quickly recall your current state of life and say goodbye, but for longer than usual (a little bit of slavic way of saying goodbye for an hour)

You're sure you spied a smile on her face, but she'd rather die than admit it (if she's with her fellow githyanki warriors)

Shadowheart (both good endings)

Parents freed & alive

She visited Gate for some groceries and maybe running into friends

And exactly both thing happens

She's not sure if she saw who she saw, has to blink and make sure

'You... you're back? How'd you do that?'

'Then it's a fine wine bottle for Gale then. What you've been up to? I was sure I'll never see you again!'

Also turns into a hug mode, girl does not take prisoners

After hearing from you she tells you about her cozy life with her parents

It's pretty much calm, nothing changed much (which is good considering her mother's state)

Can't stop looking at you like you're something magical or just a dream

You grab the groceries and head back to her house where you surprise her parents too

Her mom does not recognise you, but you understand. Her father still shoots out best jokes in this part of galaxy

Coziest evening in a while

Parents freed & gone

Pretty much all of the above but she might have someone on her tail and gets scared you may get hurt (just like in Waterdeep, when you romance Gale she tells you she's been there with someone on her tail exactly)

Gets you under her protection and if you run into any of your companions you're under their protection as well

If not, you'll just happily walk around the city and have some dinner and recall your life after you left Faerûn

But you could easily tell she still misses her parents, which makes you turn into a hug mode too

You may even spend an evening drinking somewhere secluded (beach maybe?)

Jaheira, Minsc & Boo

'The cub has found its way back. Though 'how?' still remains a question'

You explain and she admires how far the wizard has come to get you back for a visit

Minsc does not understand it, but is glad to have otherwordly friend back

Same with Boo, he's vicious but not towards Tav who occasionally fed him with extra snacks

Yes, hugs are mandatory even if none of them will show it (little hug for Boo as well!)

Jaheira is still busy with Harpers network rebuilding, might have to order few of them around as you speak

Takes you to her home where the kids also get a fucking aneurysm because they were sure you coming back was not possible

When you tell her your last life events she looks proud

But, like, tough auntie proud

'Seems like that world of yours is in the good hands'

You try your best not to go with explaining how it isn't so easy back there

Generally a day with the Busy Mom™️, the Madman and his Rodent

Halsin

After you made your little tour at the Gate & Waterdeep it was time for the *trip*

You did your best not to show on the road, just for the sake of surprise

Though you were nervous about the animals you've met

Not because they could eat you, but you remember the wildshape

No bears though, you feel safe

When you reach Moonrise you use every little stealth skill Astarion has taught you

Though your knees protest against that

You spot him somewhere near The Waning Moon, fixing something

Your sneak behind him would make Astarion proud as fuck

Daddy Bear doesn't notice a thing (or so you hope)

With only few seconds to act you just tap his shoulder

He turns back expecting a kid perhaps, but instead his eyes widen upon seeing his old (young?) friend

The one he was sadly sure never to see again

He's not quite sure what to say for a few seconds so you just pull him into a hug

He hugs back with his and probably Silvanus' might

He's just so excited, but fortunately doesn't wildshape (iykyk)

He's also impressed in Gale's skill (even if it involves Elminster)

Eager to show you around, proud of his work, but don't you dare bring it up yourself! (unless you want him to turn into a mouse or just threaten you to do so, even as a joke)

You almost don't recognise the place without the curse

Thaniel & Oliver take you by surprise in turn, but it's also a lovely reunion. Without the curse they're flourishing and thriving, just like the nature around

Whole. Fucking. Ton. Of. Kids.

And stray people willing to start a new life here

But they're all happy and taken care of. It's loud, it's messy, it's chaotic, but it's lovely.

You can easily see Halsin put his heart into that and truly found his place in the world

'My friend. Would you like to stay?' his voice radiates with hope, and if you say yes, he's even more happy. If you can not, he understands

He's surprised you remember about the old druid. You ensure him you never forgot

You help around with the kids & the place, maybe even tell them a story or two to let Halsin rest (even if he's sleeping behind you in his bear form)

You may also get back with druidic magic here, even if you won't use it in your world, Halsin would gladly spend time teaching you and recalling your latest life events

You also visit Art's Grave if he passed away (which could occur)

NPCs REACTIONS WILL JOIN SOON

[ladyvlolypop]

Bucky Barnes Headcanons

these are both dating and overall head canons, if you think the writing is a little out of my usual type it's because I wrote these while

My Masterlist

Bucky Barnes x gn!reader; sfw

Very gentle, his touches are very soft and he tries to avoid being harsh with you, knowing he’s way stronger than you(and because he’s unsure of his metal arm).

When he passes you he gives you subtle touches, his hand on your hip or waist for a brief moment.

He used to smoke when he was a soldier. Heavy smoker and drinker but he never touched a cigarette again after he became the winter soldier, not because he didn’t want to but he just didn’t want to be addicted to anything.

He can definitely speak and understand bits of german and italian because he was stationed in Austria and Italy during the war. He speaks french as well but much better(we love a multilingual king)

He understands russian perfectly but struggles to speak or write/read it. He understands bits of other slavic/balkan languages as well(if you speak russian freshen up his skills a little pls)

He sometimes still stares in awe at modern things, he imagined the world differently in the 30's. Will sometimes tell you how certain spaces changed and how they used to look like back in the day.

He likes to tell you about his childhood, liking to compare how you two grew up

Has lots oft things to catch up to

Has a flip phone w a loud ass ringtone

Jumps a little when hearing his ringtone

He has a smartphone for work but he barely uses it

Loves fantasy shows/movies and reading

LOTR and GOT fan honestly

Likes baking and cooking but he’s not good at it, he’s thankful for microwaveable meals and your cooking

Can’t ride a bike

Can’t drive, learned it just before infinity war happened

He probably let his his metal arm get hot in the sun and cracked an egg on it with sam

It fried

You only call him 'James' if it's serious or if it's to tease him

will use nicknames like "Doll", "Babygirl", "Honey","Darlin'(g)" or "Dear" for you

Uses lotion for his scars

would fold if you did it for him, def will offer to do the same for you(he gives really good messages let him)

Has a routine for his beard when he lets it grow out, likes to keep himself groomed

Same for his hair

Has insane home remedies

Pulls out chernobyl broth when you have a feet ache(boils sprite)(He read about it on facebook)

Doesn’t trust italians

He’s such a dad

Dad jokes all the way

Enjoys shopping for home gadgets

Knows how to haggle and will show his skills when he can

Will often come home with surprise groceries or gifts, things or snacks you like or some other stuff he got on sale

Likes to go to flea markets

Sometimes comes home with large amounts of certain products

Man will come home with 3 boxes of fruit because there was a sale

Love language is definitely gift giving and acts of service

Carries your bags or groceries for you without asking, pretty good at fixing things around the house

He’s good with kids, wants his own but unsure when the right timing for it would be

He sometimes shows them tricks with his metal arm

He’s not much of a talker unless you two are alone

Often rants about work

Good listener though, very attentive listener

He sleeps like a bear, very warm and keeps close to you, his arm cools down at night though and you might wake up with the feeling of cold metal against your belly

He started sleeping better when you were with him, still you will sometimes find him sleeping on the floor in the mornings, old habits die hard.

He’s very stubborn, especially if it's about your safety but he hates arguing with you

He hates the possibility of you getting hurt in any way

You're on his mind all the time

walks around with the thoughts of "would Y/N like that? Should I buy them that?"

first thing he does when coming home after missions is give you a tight hug

if it's really bad all he wants to do is hold you closely and cuddle for hours

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if you think the writing is a little out of my usual type it's because I wrote these while on a call with my bsf and she was poorly singing lana del ray songs in my ear, some of these hc were even here ideas

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Trey's Backstory - Monster AU

"Monster": Domovoy (tiny house "dwarf"/spirit) (Domania is the female counterpart, though in mythology they are less common) * I've written it in a manner where he/his family are a lot more actively involved with the "large" family they live with than they appear to be in Slavic mythology. Word Count: ~ 1.7K

Relationships mentioned: Trey + his 11 siblings (that's a headcanon), Mr/Mrs. Clover, Che'nya's family (the "Bigs")

TW: Eldest sibling burn out, concealed emotions, expected family roles, tradition, etc. (happy ending)

Inside the walls of the house, the Clover family was hard at work. They had a simple set up with the family whose home they resided in- they would provide them with the ingredients they needed, and the Clovers would ensure at least one of their children would stay and continue to protect the "big" family from all sorts of calamities and misfortune, as they had for generations. While they shared the same home with the "bigs", they still had a small store front that was at eye level for most monsters. Despite their pastries and desserts being rather small- making them rather novel and adorable, they were too delectable-looking to resist. Not to mention, seeing a Domovoy or Domania was rare even for monsters, so trying to catch a glimpse of one of the Clovers was a challenge a few took on, and most failed. All except for the "bigs" failed- well....it was only the youngest member of the family who had managed to catch a glimpse, and go so far as to befriend one of the people living in his walls.

As such, when mail arrived for his little friend, he turned the kitchen lights off and gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the dark before walking to the stove. He tapped on the side of the stove a few times to let his friend know he was waiting for him, before sitting down and watching the gap between the stove and the counter, his ear twitching slightly as he heard movement from behind the stove. A moment later, Trey squeezed through the narrow gap, huffing a bit when he got out. "This is why my siblings do the grocery runs." Che'nya giggled at him a bit as he caught his breath. "Would it kill you to move the stove just a little more to one side or the other?" "But then I wouldn't get t'hear nya struggle!" He grinned and Trey looked up at him unamused. "What did you want to talk about then? I have to get back to work as soon as possible, we can meet after I put my siblings to bed though." He pushed his glasses up his nose slightly before shaking his head, and crossing his arms. "I don't mean to come off as rude or impatient, but we have a lot of custom orders to finish up before the end of the day." Che'nya just giggled again, sprawling out on the floor before bopping his beloved little friend on the head with an envelope, the insignia of Night Raven College in the upper corner. "You got news, good or bad, we don't know! Come on, I know you wanna knyow as bad as I do! Open it! Open it!" It took Trey a moment as he fumbled with the envelope, disgruntled at it's size in compared to him until he realized who it was from, freezing and just staring at the insignia. ".....I can't open this." Che'nya tilted his head, confused, taking the envelope gently and tearing the folded part slightly, before handing it back, to which Trey backed away. "That's not what I meant Che'nya. Just....throw it out for me, ok?" He turned away from his friend, heading back towards the gap between the stove and the counter. ".....No."

Trey stopped in his tracks and turned around to face Che'nya, about to argue, but Che'nya pressed the closed envelope close to his chest. "I know why you're avoiding it Trey, but you can't make all your decisions based on what's best for your siblings- or your family. You're allowed to do things for yourself too. You have worked every single day since we were seven without complaint to keep your families bakery up and running. You help raise your siblings so that they can learn to be independent and helpful and kind. You've never even asked me, or your parents for something specific for your birthday!" Che'nya's face softened and he gently slid the envelope back towards Trey. "Even if you were accepted, it doesn't mean you have to go, but it's good to know you have the option. If you were rejected, maybe you'll get a letter from RSA and come join me instead, or you can just stay and....take over I guess." He grinned, but his brow was furrowed, worried for Trey's reaction. ".....You don't get it." Trey looked down at the paper. "It doesn't matter if I stay or go. If I stay, I apprentice under my dad and take over the bakery, and eventually as the guardian of the home. If I go....I come right back to the same thing, but only after breaking tradition and potentially loosing my mother's respect for me. Domovoy - especially the oldest, aren't meant to leave the home of the family they protect. I might be able to fudge it a little if I ended up going to RSA with you, but...I doubt they'll reach out to me." He shrugged a bit and slid the envelope back towards Che'nya. "I'd rather just stay in my families good graces and do what I've been told I'm meant to do, and learn to do it all the way I've been told to do it." He offered Che'nya a small, practiced smile. "Besides, if I work hard, I'll be able to send all my siblings to a fancy school like that when they're ready, and I'll have a home base for them to come back to no matter what happens. And that's what matters the most. It's what my responsibility is anyways, is to look out for my family, and look out for our home. No point in trying to change it when it's worked just fine for the generations before me."

He turned away again, ready to go back to the monotony. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy it, but it might be nice...for once in his life to be able to explore what lay beyond these walls. It seemed like there was so much more opportunity, and if he could leave without feeling guilty, then maybe he could expand on the chances he was given. Hell, he might even be able to make friends with more than just a "big" he lived with and defended. He had about made peace with the idea of leaving the contents of the envelope untouched until he heard the sound of paper ripping. He turned in time to watch Che'nya struggle, but succeed to shrink the paper down to his size. "Look, y'can at least hand it to your parents. Meowybe their opinions are different than what ya thi-" Che'nya was shut up rather quickly as the house rumbled, looking down at Trey in disbelief. Trey realized his overreaction quickly, forcing himself to calm down as the house settled with him. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a few deep breaths before speaking slowly and evenly. ".......Sorry, sorry about that...just. I never asked for your help Che'nya. I just asked you to throw it out." ".....Throw what out Trey?" Che'nya tilted his head to the side slightly to catch sight of a very young, very small Domania, her tiny dark green pigtail and a single glowing yellow eye being about the only thing he could see as she peeked around the corner of the stove. Che'nya watched Trey's face pale a little as he crumpled the paper in his fist, glaring right back at Che'nya. He cleared his throat a bit and sighed softly, his face softening. Ultimately, Che'nya was right. He wouldn't know his parents reaction until he tried. He turned to his younger sister with the same practiced smile he had given Che'nya earlier. "It's nothing sugar, tell mom and dad I'll be right there." He offered Che'nya a small, worried, but genuine smile. "I'll see you after my siblings go to sleep." Before walking back home. ------------------------------------------ Che'nya had waited by the stove all night, from their usual meeting time to about four in the morning, before sleep had overtaken him and he'd passed out on the kitchen floor. However when he woke up, he found a note on the floor next to him, and that his hair had braids in it - if he counted, he would feel thirteen, some more clumsily made than others. His hand gently ran over the braids as he read over the note, proceeding to scramble to get to his feet and run outside to see the store front of the Clover's bakery in excitement. He couldn't help but snicker to himself as "Congratulations Trey" had been scrawled all over the shops windows, clearly by his siblings, knowing full well Trey was going to hate the attention. He headed back inside and set up the items for the Clover's to come and collect later. He turned to look into the pantry, and upon turning around saw a much older Domania as he had seen yesterday, shielding her eyes from the light. Che'nya quickly put the ingredients down before shutting the light off, and moving slowly back to the counter where the little woman stood. She straightened up, sighing softly in relief as the light was shut off, brilliant yellow eyes glowing slightly. She spoke with a bit of an accent, but it was one Che'nya couldn't quite place. "Thank you. Not just about the lights. About telling my son to tell us about school. We are so very pleased with him, but he was not able to come out to see you last night because of the big party we had. Whoot whoot!"

The woman beamed and put pumped her hands in the air gently, laughing, then clearing her throat as if she felt awkward.

"That is to say, the shop will be closed for today, so we will not be needing the groceries today. Everyone is too tired and very excited for Trey, and it is because of you. Normally we would just braid your, or your grandfather's hair to communicate that, as we have in the past, but this is too big and important. So thank you." From seemingly out of nowhere, the woman produced a modest sized candied praline tart. "Thank you very much." She gave Che'nya a small bow and smile before snapping her fingers and seeming to disappear before he could even respond. -----------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I Do Not Like how I've written this, apologies if you made it here, you might want to check out my other Twstober works here, or if you're looking for some fluff after that fic, you can check out my main masterlist here. Ask box is open if you have any questions! Thanks for reading!

[mfmango]

fun mango fact I live laugh love ej x liu and I wanna make art of them so fucking bad but I have like. Severe art block and I DONT like it.

they're just so cute and it's like ejekshahsn it's even better if you know about or I've told u my ver of creepypasta chars/my au

I'm gonna infodump while I'm at it

my ver of ej is nigerian/russian (russian from chernobog, his father of sorts, his mother was just a nice Nigerian woman lmao) and he's like. 27, he's also like 7 feet fucking tall lmfao did most of med school and his medical knowledge is like rlly good n shit, he's really caring especially when it comes to liu and he's also really protective. He has locs, dark brown and he puts jewellery in them sometimes

he has dark grey skin and full lips, the top one being a darker grey, (skin color is #45413F, top lip is #302D2C and bottom lip is a combo of top lip and #403230) he's also like extremely muscular. he spends a lot of time working out and he has really good stamina (this is both a win for liu and a loss. iykyk)

He's very warm and he has a deep voice, not like corpse husband deep but like. He sounds like MC Ren (the N.W.A member) but a little deeper

liu is like the complete opposite of Jack in my au. He's skinny as shit and before he met Jack his ribcage was dead ass showing, after he met Jack and started eating a bit more he gained a small amount of weight, but was still kinda underweight, my version of Liu is ftm btw, hasn't physically transitioned apart from hormones

he's also like 5'7

Liu's like. 22, he has a few scars on his face and all over his body, and he has pretty severe eye bags but that doesn't mean he ain't pretty. mf looks like a dream.

he makes money by helping jeff deal and shit

liu (and jeff) is/are polish. Very polish might I add

Jack speaks both Russian and Yoruba (a bit of igbo/ndi igbo, he picked it up from another Nigerian friend in highschool before the chernobog genes kicked in)

so if liu swears at Jack in polish, Jack will respond in Russian and they'll still understand what eachother is saying cause a lot of slavic languages are similar

their height difference goes hard as fuck though LMFAOO

jack is like rlly good at cooking but he prefers liu's cooking, they're both good tho

Jack doesn't let ANYONE touch his locs (jeff tried once when he was high lol bro almost got his hands cut off) except liu, but he's still careful lol

lius kind of blunt and a bit monotone at times, Jack doesn't mind much tho

they're not perfect, they can be a bit toxic at times, jack holds more power in the relationship but it works in their situation

Jack has a tendency to like. hold liu and cuddle him and tell him how he'd do anything to see him smile etc etc

they're killers, they're freaks they're not gonna have a perfectly happy relationship, no relationship is perfect

also they don't live in the slendermansion or whatever lol

Jack used to but he moved in w Liu and lius been living in this like. lowk luxurious cabin in the forest lol

lius a bit scared of heights, Jack still picks him up for the hell of it

liu wears a lot of Jack's clothes for the sake of comfort, jack carries things that belong to liu , like pens or photos of him whenever he's out on a mission (he does assassin stuff), regardless of if he's gone for a short time or a while

jack brings stuff home. it could be books, notebooks/sketchbooks, food, etc.

liu doesn't go out much. he likes staying at home, he can go out in public safely for the most of it, he only ever goes out into towns for groceries or emergencies

jack cannot keep his hands off liu lmao, he has to be holding onto him one way or another

if u managed to read this whole thing just be my mutual already

[meowyoi]

korka and i are currently slavic squatting even though we have a place to sit. also she is looking at her grocery store apps to look for discounts on rice and shit

[slytherinqueenrose]

Christmas Eve with Percy Hynes White

Percy Hynes White x Slavic!Reader

Christmas Eve with Percy would include:

• Long shopping. Certainly you need many ingredients for all planned dishes.

•Of course waiting in long queues because everybody wants to buy something for Christmas.

• Percy’s mental breakdowns when he sees all this shit happening on the parking lots. Of course the US is pretty busy but believe me, in Slavic countries, Christmas time is a real hell for the drivers.

•“You say we need to leave the car here? So far away from the grocery store?” He complains. “I’m sorry, Percy, but we have no other option. The parking lot if wholly loaded with cars and I don’t want anyone to crash into mine. We need to walk, it’s just 10 minutes away.” You say but he’s not very pleased to hear it.

• You both end up walking anyway but he seems to be pretty annoyed.

•“Hey, pretty boy. Are you mad at me?” You ask after not speaking for few minutes. He looks at you with his puppy eyes and then wraps his arm around your waist. “I’m not, babe. It’s just something different than I’m used to.“

• Him being a total jerk in grocery stores. Doing all those funny faces and dancing so you can’t focus on shopping properly.

• Loads of cooking. As a Slavic you want to cook as many dishes for the Christmas Eve as possible. It is a family gathering after all so you need a lot of food. Percy is impressed because he had never been celebrating the Christmas Eve.

• Decorating the Christmas tree. It’s a very old tradition to do it on 24th of December.

• Hanging mistletoe and hundreds of kisses under it. Honestly Percy wouldn’t let go of your lips and would kiss you every now and then.

• He’s having a great time joking around with your dad who doesn’t like anyone actually but Percy has stolen his heart.

• Packing gifts. Another slavic tradition is to open presents during the Christmas Eve’s dinner when the first star shines. Percy hesitates because he’s used to unpacking gifts on 25th of December but he joins all the members of your family and unwraps his presents willingly.

• He eats a lot and happily doesn’t gain any weight.

• After the dinner he helps you to do the dishes and clean the day room.

• You two spend the whole night watching Christmas movies and cuddling.

[nanamis-bigtie]

I caved & watched a piece of live action with sis. A piece because, honest to Nika, I couldn't handle more.

Lemme just say... I honestly don't understand what people praise here. Maybe I simply don't have comparison to other live actions or netflix shows in general (I tried The Witcher and Stranger Things and both became boring to me in their early stages) but hhhh why do they act like plastic action figures, throwing "funny" one-liners, jumping chaotically around, and overall seem more marvelesque than an adaptation of One Piece?

And why they don't act like... Like them. Why Zoro behaves like wanna be slavic hooligan, he even walks like one, oh my god, I swear, I run into guys like this on my way for groceries. I thought Luffy will be my biggest problem but nah, one look at Zoro quickly set me in understanding that Luffy is not the worst that can happen to my faves.

Why the camera man has adhd. The camerawork at times made me feel dizzy. At times I couldn't even follow what was going on.

Also.

How can I erase that Targaryen Helmeppo naked scene from my memory. Please. Please.

[amourem]

a meta for fyodor on language and love language as well as one on immortality gogogo

FYODOR  (  on  language  )

given  his  age  and  apparently  prolific  presence  across  the  globe  -  fyodor  is  fluent  in...  a  staggering  amount  of  languages  and  intermediate  in  even  more.  obviously  -  russian  is  his  mother  tongue,  specifically  the  central  dialect,  though  he  can  occasionally  be  seen  slipping  into  the  southern  as  well.  he  is  fluent  in  all  prominent  slavic  languages,  though  spends  most  of  his  time  speaking  russian,  ukrainian,  polish,  and  czech.  on  occasion  -  he  will  slip  into  a  much  older  dialect/version  of  russian  (  referred  to  as  old  russian  /  old  east  slavic  ),  though  this  is  usually  when  he  doesn't  think  anyone  is  around,  etc.  

he  has  mastered  all  five  romance  languages  with  ease  (and  quite  enjoys  french  and  romanian  in  particular)  considering  he spent  a  good  chunk  of  his  life  reading  exclusively  latin.  english  is  another  widely  spoken  one,  alongside  farsi,  mandarin,  cantonese,  korean  and  finally:  japanese.  he  is,  however,  pretty  bad  at  writing  in  it.  his  knowledge  of  language  is  vast  -  but  he  is  by  no  means  an  expert  in  all,  and  still  speaks  most  of  them  with  a  bit  of  a  russian  lilt.  

FYODOR  (  on  love  language  )  -  aside  from  murder  and  manipulation.

i  spent  a  really  long  time  in  the  shower  thinking  about  this  one  and  i  have  decided  that  fyodor's  'love'  language  is  very  specific.  i  think  i  would  describe  it  as  a  combination  of  words  of  affirmation,  and  physical  touch.  HOWEVER  -  the  problem  is  with  a  man  like  fyodor,  he  simply  does  not  trust.  at  all.  anyone.  ever.  he  relies  solely  on  himself  and  has  thrived  that  way  for  quite  some  time.  you  say  a  kind  word  to  him,  and  his  nature  is  to  immediately  assume  an  ulterior  motive.  the  trick  is  to  get  him  to  listen  -  to  understand,  to  even  remotely  consider  the  words  being  said  to  him  are  not,  in  fact,  a  lie.  

the  biggest  one  though  is  physical  touch.  i  mean,  that's  if  he'll  even  LET  you  touch  him.  he's  killed  men  for  looking  wrong  or  brushing  against  him  in  a  grocery  store.  but  fyodor  is  gratuitously  touch  starved  and  he  has  no  idea  that  he  is  until  he  does.  while  not  particularly  tactile  -  i  do  think  that  even  he  can  find  that  literally  just  sitting  next  to  someone  he  likes  might  be  a  wild  experience.  

but  anytime  he  attempt  to  'engage'  one  of  fyodor's  love  languages  -  you  are  essentially  playing  roulette  on  whether  or  not  he  will  deign  to  accept  the  advance,  or  eat  you  alive.  

FYODOR  (  on  immortality  )

i  don't  want  to  go  TOO  in  depth  about  this  but  fyodor  has...  beef  with  his  immortality.  fyodor  is  driven  to  believe  that  ability  users  are  beings  of  sin  because  of  his  own  existence.  he  is  essentially  the  equivalent  of  having  lived  his  life  with  all  the  religious  dutifulness  of  a  saint,  looks  forward  to  going  to  heaven,  but  the  first  time  he  dies  he  just  discovers  that  god  spit  him  back  out  again  and  left  him  on  this  mortal  plane  to  rot.  each  death  warps  fyodor's  perception  a  little  further  -  until  he  comes  to  some  conclusions:

his  ability  makes  him  a  sinner,  as  he  cannot  commit  to  gods  natural  order  and  die.  it  is  also  possible  he  thinks  himself  a  sinner  due  to  some  events  in  his  past  (witch  burnings,  etc)  but  we  don't  know  yet.  additionally  -  because  god  keeps  spitting  him  back  out  again,  he  must  have  a  grand  plan  for  him.  very  well  then  -  he  will  use  his  immortality  for  good,  and  shepherd  the  people  to  a  sinless  existence  for  a  benevolent  god.  again  -  i  want  to  reiterate.  HUMAN  BEINGS  ARE  NOT  MEANT  TO  DIE  AND  COME  BACK  REPEATEDLY.  he  likely  has  not  always  been  this  warped  (but  he  is  now  evil  little  rat  man).  

anyways  -  'crime'  and  'punishment.'  the  crime?  killing  him.  the  punishment?  subsumed.  yet  fyodor's  immortality  has  brought  him  boundless  pain.  a  hundred  lifetimes  and  a  hundred  deaths  -  where  he  watched  humanity  be  it's  worst,  where  people  have  betrayed  him  ceaselessly  (how  could  he  trust  now),  where  he  has  been  miserable  but  fulfilling  his  duty  nonetheless,  no  matter  how  many  times  god  chooses  to  forsake  him.  

in  essence  -  fyodor  wishes  for  his  immortality  to  end,  but  he  has  work  to  finish  first.  

[velvetporcelain]

I felt so pretty today it was sickening 🤢 the way I felt so connected to my surroundings.

I love being amongst the people. Saturday nights hockey 🏒 game impregnated my mind and today’s zoo trip confirmed the belief in myself. 💞😬🦇

I don’t need any validation, although it is tasty.

This guy at the grocery store has a crush on me, his accent sounds Slavic? I’m only guessing. He’s handsome but I’m treading lightly. He hungers for passion like me. I can see it in his face when he looks at me. He tells me I have a very intelligent vocabulary.

Yeah- I could teach him a few things.

Listen to me you beautiful bitch. You are opening yourself up to the fucking world 🌍, to Mother Earth. Don’t forget to live, feel, see, touch, taste and love the fuck out of everything.

Even the sad days. Yes, even the sad days.

Until tomorrow my beautiful void. I know you will eagerly awaiting my morning entry. Do not let the days of the week define your experience. Life is good.

Good night 🌙 my love 😍 😘

-x

[feminetomboy]

For my slavic!beeduo au, get ready for: Ranboo and Tubbo navigating the grocery store (Lidl) at 10am on a Thursday. They will experience the horrors.

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

Polish Remus and Balkan Barty will forever be my fav thing ever they are menaces and I LOVE THEM FOR IT.

when they get together their slavic nature just fuckin amplifies. those are some barszcz slurping tea chugging motherfuckers. they have rugs all over their apartments and jars of kompot in their fridge from their babcias and when they're two hours late to every party it's just normal. they wear pajamas that are a matching shirt and pants. barty drinks rakia like its fuckin water. injured? he puts rakia on the wound. itchy skin? rakia. cold feet? rakia. they're suspicious of everyone and everything they eat is flavoured with onions and garlic. they hold their garbage with grocery bags. they have high cheekbones. i could keep going

[zooterchet]

Essex County (The Jesuit Sports Union)

The American Government:

Ever wonder why the Americans, won't let anybody win?

Bill Clinton, saved NAFTA, but Rush Limbaugh's TV show had already taken him down for funeral debt, as if racist; his MI-6 ties in Canada, demonstrated.

George W. Bush, won the War on Terror, by framing himself as German, actually Turkish, the Diner's Association, the defense attorney's union; the prison chaplins. Yet Charles Manson, framed him as gay, through Metal Wolf Chaos, for having a Vice President with a lesbian daughter (frauded in courts, kidnapping with more than one charge, schizophrenia of womanhood).

Barack Obama, had stolen a speech sample, through Rahm Emmanuelle, from another Charlebois, so the Fiqh's state embassy, would be frauded as Jesus, taken from Doubting Thomas, the same student, David Charlebois; the Temple on the Mount, intended for an academic thief, the scurrilous Rahm Emmanuele labeling Hoover on the Presidency, denoued from Grant, defrauded by his children through wage of debt of Salvation Army; Five Points Gang, child through nominated theft of Inquisitor to return to origin for grocery trade of common good; Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, refused of independence of poor to cook and clean on their own, psychiatric traditions of anti-Semites, Slavics.

Donald J. Trump, elected by drug use among CIA, DEA, and ATF, propaganda unions, falsely advertised on internet by Air Force and Army, movie fans; Westerns, Moorish food traditions, government separatists, like at Ruby Ridge. Never meant to be President, having miswriitten a self-help to become a billionaire, instead of already being one, he's been pawned and traded as an MI-6 mule and donkey, opposing the CIA's tradition of considering film as pederasty, supporting white trash parents, MMA and prize fighting and "Hindu Boxing", dog fights by black men, "Negros", Checkers and Horror film fans, Africans and Jews of the lower South.

Biden, Italian-Sicilian, has been fed Italian food meant for French, rumored to be "Jews", by Germans and Yugoslavs and Chechnyans, spelling the death of their country; directed by Swedes, through a Jew in the Kennedies, Josh Moen, leading to the Holocaust; arranged by Josh Moen's father, Joseph Kennedy III, as payback for putting him in AA, a full horse radish purge of Jews, for refusing cigarettes and marijuana, mandatory to survive, or else "mentally ill", CBD for Arabs.

[shoeshineyboy]

ONCE AGAIN:

we are not about to enter ‘WWIII’

you, an art student from middle america, the closest which you have been to eastern europe is a slavic grocery store in the capital city of your state, are not going to get ‘drafted’