#slow burn fanfic

[daceydeath]

Cigarettes and Cliches (Part 7)

Pairing: Lee Felix x Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, swearing

He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to stay away you couldn't even if it might cost you everything and leave you heartbroken you couldn't ignore him

There was no way you could ask for Innie's input on what to wear on your date, since you weren't even sure where you were going or what you would be doing and especially since he was not going to approve of you going on said date with Felix. Now would have been a good time to ask Nali's opinion or advice if she hadn't turned out to be the worst friend you could have ever made. So your next logical idea was to go through your socials to see what other girls wore on their dates with their boyfriends to give you an idea of what you should look like or how much effort you needed to put in without overdoing it.

You went to sit in the lounge so that you didn't look like you were hiding yourself away as Jeongin eventually surfaced from his room looking sheepish and he and Seungmin started planning their night out.

"Did you want to come with us again tonight? We will make sure one of us will be with you all the time" Jeongin asked, still looking dusty from the night before.

"No I think one party everyday is a little too much for me" you sighed looking at him "Maybe one next week".

"Ok we can live with a maybe for now" he grinned as Seungmin rolled his eyes as you phone beeped.

Ok how does a movie and a walk down by the river sound baby? You read the message twice before you slowly typed a reply so you didn't look too excited in front of Seungmin and Jeongin so you thought for a moment before sending it.

That sounds great Felix what time and where should I meet you?. Movies and walks were mostly casual so you didn't need to dress up and have too many questions asked about where you were going.

I'm going to pick you up baby, If the others have a problem with it they can just deal with it.

They can just deal with it, you read the words again and again before you realized that you should probably answer him so you quickly agreed and went back to thinking about what you would wear and what you would tell the boys when Felix showed up to take you out on a date out of the blue. Seungmin and Jeongin were still talking about the party when your brain tuned you back into the conversation.

"Next party we will need to dress you in less attractive clothing too to keep you a little more hidden from drunk idiots" Jeongin nodded seriously

"Or I could come and find one of you or the others to help me get a ride home, surely no one is going to bother me with one of you with me" you smiled unsure if that was the right response to keep them happy.

"Actually that would be better" Seungmin grinned "find either me or Innie or any of the others even if it's Felix or Hyunjin they will always try to keep you safe and will wait for you to get in a taxi or something before they go back to partying".

"So are we cooking before you go or ordering in?" you asked cheekily hoping you wouldn't need to cook before you go out.

"We were going to meet Han and Changbin for dinner before we hit the party so you can have whatever you like" Jeongin winked as though you would get up to all sorts of mischief being left alone to make your own dinner. You chuckled thinking that he had no idea what you were going to get up to once they left even though to be honest you were slightly nervous about that yourself if you were being honest.

You had picked out an outfit while you pretended you were cleaning up and Seungmin and Jeongin were getting ready so that they had no clue you were up to something. It made you feel like you were in a TV drama sneaking out of the house to meet the star crossed lover who would whisk you away to his castle as opposed to just meeting Felix but it made your heart race the same way his smile did. You were still lost in your head when you heard Seungmin calling your name loudly, shaking the romantic fantasizing from your mind, you opened your door confused as to why he was yelling.

"Sorry Seung, what's wrong?" you smiled tilting your head.

"You ok? you didn't answer when I called out to you" he furrowed his brow slightly scrutinizing you.

"I was in the bathroom" you lied instantly hoping he would drop it.

"Sorry" he scratched his head as he backed away from your bedroom door "we're going now just wanted to let you know"

"Well I will try to survive without you both" you teased smiling as he walked towards to door "don't bring any psychos home with you".

"Oh, fuck off" Seungmin grinned as Jeongin laughed from the hall before you heard them both putting on their shoes and the door opening and closing. You smiled to yourself suddenly feeling a weight fall away from your shoulders about how exactly you would have explained dating Felix to the pair of them so suddenly.

Getting yourself ready you sat fiddling with your jeans as you tried to distract yourself from your nerves but flicking TV channels and eventually settling on an episode of a drama that you couldn't pay attention to. After what felt like a lifetime the door buzzer rang sending a spike of nervous excitement straight through your heart as Felix appeared on the small screen looking as dangerously handsome as always. Pressing the buzzer to let him in you told yourself to not wait at the door for him to know instead bouncing on the balls of your feet at the opposite end of the hall staring at the door instead. When Felix did knock on the door your heart skipped a beat, his eyes soft as he stepped into the apartment cupping your jaw and kissing you softly.

"You look gorgeous baby" he smiled reaching for your hand to intertwine your fingers "are you ready to go?".

"Yes Lix" you smiled back feeling your cheeks heating up as he looked you up and down.

"Do you need to say goodbye or anything?" he whispered cheekily looking past you up the hallway.

"No the boy left early to meet the others" you grinned letting him lead you from the apartment and towards the elevator. You traveled down to the ground floor with Felix's arm wrapped around your waist holding you to his side gently which continued until you got down the several blocks it took to get to the movie complex only letting you go to buy your tickets and popcorn which he insisted on carrying until you were both seated in the back of the cinema.

"You know you didn't even tell me what we were seeing, Lix" you teased softly taking a few pieces of popcorn and popping one into your mouth.

"Well I remembered that you liked actions and thrillers but there aren't any good thrillers so it is going to be John Wick" he admitted the corners of his lips quirking up hen your mouth formed a silent o.

"You remembered that?" you whispered as the lights dimmed around you for the previews to begin.

"I try to remember everything you say" he admitted sultrily leaning in to whisper in your ear, the feeling of his breath on you skin making your skin erupt on a wave of goosebumps as he moved the armrest that sat between you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

You sat in silence for the film enjoying as much as you could of both what was happening on the screen and the warmth and feeling of Felix breathing beside you for the almost three hours it took for the movie to end. But even then you only managed to focus on half of the plot as you spent the other half having to focus on how to remain acting natural. Once the lights came back on and the credits rolled Felix his you with another one of his dazzling smiles.

"Do you still want to go for that walk by the river or would you like me to take you back home?" He asked genuinely, seeming happy to do either option depending on how comfortable you were.

"I think I would like to go for that walk Lix" you bit your lip slightly hoping that this was the answer he was wanting to hear.

"If my baby wants to go for a walk then we will go for a walk" he teased holding out his hand for you to take as he began leading you from the cinema. You noticed a few girls stare at Felix as you walked past them and back out onto the street their faces turning into a frown when they saw him holding your hand. He seemed oblivious but it dimmed your smile slightly. You knew they were wondering how someone like him could have any interest in someone like you and that hurt you a little but when Felix squeezed your hand gently as you began to walk towards the river you couldn't help the little flutter that erupted in your chest.

Walking hand in hand for the next few blocks that would take you to the riverfront you decided that making conversation would prevent you being too awkward about this being a first date with anyone let alone Felix.

"So what exactly did you plan on telling Seung and Innie when you picked me up tonight?" you asked bashfully looking up at him.

"Well" he paused for a moment still smiling "I was thinking that I was just going to say that I wanted to make sure you were alright after the party, but honestly I hadn't really thought about it" he admitted meeting your eyes briefly before looking ahead once more.

"Well at least you're honest" you sighed thankful that the boys had been out when you left the apartment.

"In truth I figured they would be in too much shock to actually say anything and that we would have escaped before they snapped out of it" he chuckled making you smile in relief.

"I mean they probably would have been shocked for ages that you wanted to take me on a date" you shrugged smirking at the thought of them standing in the hallway with their mouths agape

"And why wouldn't I want to take my smart and beautiful girlfriend on a date?" he teased nudging your shoulder playfully as you entered the park walking between the large gates that separated the gardened area from the street

"I didn't mean it like that Lix I meant they would have been shocked that I had a date" you back peddled quickly looking up at him with wide eyes "I didn't mean they would be shocked at you going on a date"

"I know baby I was teasing" he soothed pulling you closer to wrap his arm around your shoulders and you let the movement lull the conversation for a while

You had made sure you wore a light sweater so that you wouldn't be too cold on the waterfront and you were glad you had as the wind picked up to a chilly breeze as you walked together under the fairy lights that were strung through the trees on the riverwalk. You hadn't really checked the weather but you knew at this time of year the breeze was always cool at night obviously Felix hadn't either as you realized the clouds were gathering overhead much quicker than normal. Looking up at the sky frowning Felix muttered something under his breath before turning to you

"Looks like we're running out of time baby" he sighed wrinkling his nose slightly as you nodded feeling disappointed as the clouds had finally blocked out all of the stars.

"I guess we will save this for the next date?" you smiled softly which made his eyes light up.

"Yes we will absolutely save this for the next date or maybe the third date?" he smirked as you tried to hide your excited smile. Walking back towards the park gate you thought you felt the first spot of rain but you weren't sure, however, this changed when the skies suddenly opened up above you and rain began pouring down on you both.

"Fuck" Felix swore loudly tucking you into his side and wrapping his jacket around you as he guided you under a large tree "We can go back to my place its only a block from here and when it stops I'll get you a cab home". You looked at him blankly for a moment unsure of what to say to not sound like a fool or ungrateful.

"This isn't some kind of ploy I promise" he reassured you quickly noticing how your expression had changed "I just don't want either of us to catch a cold and it's quite a walk to your place from here and if we try to get a cab we will get even more drenched than walking to my place" he reasoned.

"It's ok Lix I know you won't do anything I don't want you to" you smiled gently your brain catching up with what he was saying.

"We can dry off there and wait out the rain and most of the way there is covered so we won't get too wet" he gestured to his already soaking wet hair.

"Lets go Lix, lead the way" you urged, letting him continue to hold you as close to you as he could to try to keep you dry and warm as the pair of you darted your way from cover to cover for the 5 minutes it took to get to his place. Quickly making your way through the lobby and into the elevator you were surprised when a doorman appeared as the door to the lift opened on the 15th floor who Felix waved at before leading you to his front door and letting you in helping you to slip off your shoes before going to find you some towels for your hair and clothes.

You had known that Felix, Hyunjin and Minho shared an apartment, Seungmin had mentioned it to you ages ago, but you didn't realize how nice of an apartment it would be. They lived in the river district that was considered one of the highest valued areas in the city and their apartment overlooked not only the river but parks that you had just been walking in. Standing on the tiles of the kitchen floor to avoid dripping water on the carpet you could see the lights of the city through the massive lounge room windows as you waited for Felix to return carrying towels and something that looked like clothing.

"I'll show you to the bathroom and you can change into these before we get your clothes in the dryer" Felix suggested handing you the pile of fabric and leading you into the bathroom while he cleaned up the drips on the tiled floor.

Closing the door behind you, you took in your surroundings. It was a much nicer bathroom than yours. The tile looked like actual marble and it was large enough to have an actual tub and a double sink. Slowly you put the towel down on the cabinet before you realized that Felix had given you a pile of his clothes, sweatpants, t shirt and the hoodie you had seen him in the morning you spoke to him in the gardens. Shaking the memory from your mind you peeled your wet sweater over your head grateful that you hadn't gotten soaked to the bone so at least your bra was still mostly dry, you wrapped your hair in the towel and squeezed as much water as you could from it before changing into the pants and t shirt before opening the door and finding Felix waiting for you his eyes glazing over slightly when he saw you.

"I'll just need you to put these in the machine hopefully they won't take too long to dry out" you smiled shyly holding up the towel and your sweater and jeans but Felix didn't react " Lix?" you asked, tilting your head to watch him and shaking your clothes in front of him.

"Sorry, just got a bit lost in how good you look in my shirt" he replied, clearing his throat slightly and reaching out to grab the wet items as your cheeks burned. "Did you want to hang in the lounge and watch another movie or get some food?" he continued his signature smile returning.

"Yeah sounds good" you nodded trying to play it cool and walking yourself into the lounge to wait for him to return. You sat on the large plush couch and began fiddling with the bottom of the shirt, the soft dark fabric making you feel incredibly comforted despite your awkwardness.

"Did you want me to order us any particular food?" Felix questioned as he walked back into the room as you realized for the first time that he too was in sweatpants and a white t shirt and looking like he should be in a magazine pictorial.

"Whatever you want Lix" you smiled as he sat down beside you "I'm not fussy". He chuckled softly in response and ordered you something quickly before throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him and causing you to yelp in surprise. The action seemed slightly less practiced to his usual moves, making you pause.

"Sorry baby" he laughed musically "just wanted you close to me" he grinned turning the TV on and selecting one of the streaming services they had to find something to watch. He settled on a drama that you hadn't seen but you didn't care you knew you were not going to be paying much attention to it anyway just like the movie from earlier in the evening.

"Lix?" you asked tentatively tilting your head back to lean against his chest and look at him studying his facial expression.

"Hmm" he hummed in response, his eyes on the screen in front of you.

"You know I don't think this is a ploy to get me to sleep with you right?" you almost mumbled feeling a little embarrassed that he still might think that after your hesitation earlier "So you don't need to be extra careful with me".

"You sure baby?" he smiled sweetly finally looking at you his eyes searching your own to be sure you meant what you said "I don't want to make you uncomfortable and also I've um... how do I actually put this?..." he trailed off his brown creasing slightly and making your anxiety spike "I've never brought anyone here before".

"I'm sorry what?" you almost spluttered your anxious feeling turning to confusion as to how one of the members of the man whore trio hadn't brought any women to his apartment before.

"Well this is where we live I always said I would only bring girls I was really serious about here" he admitted a pretty pink dusting of blush appearing on his freckled cheeks. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure he would be able to hear it, trying to process that he insinuated that you were special to him and that you were the only one to be special to him in all his time sleeping around. All you could manage was to open your mouth to say something but nothing came out which Felix took as his moment to gently place his lips on yours kissing you sweetly his plush lips feeling perfect against your own. The moment however, was short lived as the door buzzer chimed to let you know that the food order had arrived. Untangling himself from you he went to collect the food from the lobby of the building leaving you to contemplate what he had just told you.

Felix had ordered from your favorite bakery and you were very happy to tuck into one of their chocolate filled croissants as he watched you smiling enjoying the look of bliss on your face. After eating and drinking everything he had ordered you found yourself still held captive by the sound of the rain still pattering against the large windows and it was well past midnight by this point which made you a little uneasy again.

"What's wrong baby?" Felix asked you tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, while you sat with your legs across his lap

"It's still raining" you sighed before looking at him and giving him a shy smile "do you think my clothes will be dry by now? I should probably get home"

"I'll check for you" he nodded, moving your legs carefully before making his way to the laundry room while you packed up the food containers and took them into the kitchen to sort.

"Fuck" you heard him curse loudly before you walked back around to the lounge to find him walking back in his hand running though his hair.

"What's happened?" you blinked unsure of what the problem was.

"I'm sorry baby, really I put your clothes in the dryer with mine and I didn't start the machine, I'm so sorry" Felix apologized quickly looking annoyed with himself "But I can get you home in my clothes or you could stay for a little while longer they should only take like an hour to dry"

"Lix I can't go home in your clothes if Seung or Innie see me I'll never be able to explain it" you sighed, worrying your lower lip nervously.

"Then stay here, we can watch another movie in my room so that if either of the guys come back they won't drunkenly annoy us or become a pair of menaces" he smiled tentatively a ghost of his smile gracing his lips.

"One more movie can't hurt Seung and Innie are probably both too smashed to even know I'm not home yet" you nodded making a smile bloom on Felix's face.

"Come on then, I'll put another action movie on as long as you let me cuddle you" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively at you making you giggle. Felix was being incredibly patient with you and you knew it but you appreciated that he wasn't going to push you into anything you weren't ready for so it was an easy decision to follow him to his room you trusted him.

You stood in his bedroom looking from the desk that you could tell was used purely for gaming judging from the custom keyboard and multiple monitors, to the stupidly large TV attached to the far wall, the shelves that contained random figures and gaming consoles and finally his bed which he was now sitting on looking at you curiously.

"Is this the first time you have had someone like me in your room?" you asked, feeling suddenly shy at the idea of being the first girl in this room.

"You mean are you the first girlfriend I've had in my bedroom?" he chuckled teasingly, you couldn't help but preen at the term girlfriend even though he had called you that before. "Yeah you are, first one in this room and first one in my bed" he smiled softly making you swallow loudly.

"So what did you want to watch?" you asked changing the subject as smoothly as you could not failing to notice the slight smirk gracing his lips as you made your way to sit next to him on the bed.

"I don't know I figured we could get comfy then decide" he shrugged pulling you further onto the bed and making you laugh. After a few awkward moments of figuring out where each of you would fit you settled on his left side sitting against the headboard leaning against him as he scrolled through some movies and randomly pressed play. The opening scene was a bank robbery with the villains in ski masks brandishing shot guns and police cars racing to the bank but you were already distracted by Felix drawing patterns on the inside of the wrist he was holding in his lap. The trace of his fingers sending small electric shocks through your skin and straight to your heart after a few minutes he lifted your hand to his lips kissing your wrist lightly and making you gasp.

"I know I said watch a movie but I would prefer to kiss you" he whispered "if that's ok". Instead of answering him you turned your head to face him almost brushing his lips with yours silently giving him permission.

"You're so beautiful" he murmured, closing the gap between you and gently pressing his lips to yours, the softness against your own making you melt into him slightly. Felix quickly but gently maneuvered you so you were now straddling his lap, his hands cupped your jaw as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips seeking entrance to your mouth which you gave him enthusiastically. Felix's kisses were less intense and more sensual than the last time he kissed you, making you moan softly into his mouth.

"God I love the noises you make, so pretty" he breathed against your lips as you parted for air.

"Lix" you panted, feeling like your head was spinning.

"I've got you baby" he mumbled, connecting his lips back to yours, your hands moving on their own, one threaded its way into his hair and the other grasping his shirt to anchor yourself to him, your hips pressing against his crotch as you desperately tried to get closer to him. You had no idea how much time passed from when he first kissed you to when he finally pulled back from you pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

"We need to stop now baby" he panted quietly, his chest rising and falling rapidly against your own "I won't be able to behave myself if we keep going". You flushed with embarrassment quickly moving to get out of his lap and sit back on the bed beside him.

"I'm sorry" you groaned, covering your hands with your face making him laugh.

"So cute" he chuckled, pulling your hands slowly away from your face and leaning in to kiss the tip of your nose. "You did nothing wrong baby, I just need to make sure I don"t cross any lines".

"Thank you Lix" you smiled shyly, looking up at him through your lashes.

"The things you do to me baby" he shook his head taking a deep breath wrapping you back up in his arms but in a much less compromising position before he started the movie again.

You didn't remember falling asleep but you must have because when you opened your eyes you were still in Felix's bed but you were alone and the morning light was filtering into the room between the gaps in the curtains. Sitting up you realized that you were still dressed in his clothes but that your clothes sat on his computer desk folded neatly and waiting for you shifting yourself out of the bed you stretched and padded your way across the carpeted floor to his bathroom knocking but finding it empty you went inside to change and clean yourself up a little before you would have to make your way home and hopefully be able to play off your being absent as going for an early morning walk. Making your way towards the lounge you were made aware it was no longer just you and Felix in the apartment as several voices were talking all at once. Pausing you waited to see if you should show yourself or hide yourself back in the bedroom.

"You were the one that suggested the rule mate" Minho complained, his voice rough from the night before but still obviously annoyed.

"We agreed there were no random girls in the apartment so what makes this one different?" Hyunjin added blandly.

"This isn't like that" Felix defended his voice exasperated as he tried protecting you in your absence.

"Then what is it like? There is no way it's her in your room right now" Minho continued his voice getting louder as he teased.

"Thanks for the boost in confidence" Felix groaned, sounding particularly done with what must have been an ongoing joke.

"I swear if you don't get your shit together and get together I'm going to steal her" Hyunjin declared cackling as he sounded like he moved quickly from the room.

"You're both arsehole you know that" Felix called after them as he walked towards where you were standing. Moving yourself further down towards his bedroom door you decided to make it look like you had just stepped out of his room

"Morning baby" Felix beamed as he saw you in his doorway pulling you into a cuddle.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep Lix" you mumbled nuzzling into him softly.

"It's alright baby but let's get you home while the idiots here are showering" He raised his eyebrows to indicate behind him.

"Lets but can I borrow a hoodie weather app says it's going to be cold this morning?" you ask watching his eyes light up.

A/N: I'm Sorry this has taken so long but I lost my steam for a while but I'm back now :) Once again thank you for reading my work and your likes, reblogs and comments are amazing xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @bakedlilgoonie, @shiy, @is2cb97, @beautifulixr, @skyhold-tara, @army-stay-noel, @skizzel-reblogs, @facelesswrittes, @animehideout, @mrsseals16, @honey-pop, @fawnpeaks, @leeknowinggg, @uno7, @seungminluv3, @obeythemasters, @tanzen-ist-gold, @choisoorin

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: A Long Time Coming {1}

Lewis Hamilton x Friend Group Reader

Warning: Cursing, Teasing, Slow Burn, Plot

Words: 5.5k

Summary:  After a long, grueling and stressful 2023 season where Lewis dominated and showed the world once again why he was the best at what he does. He walks away with his 8th championship title and plans with his closest and bestest for some much-needed R&R.

Note: If you couldn’t tell by the summary, we are manifesting with this fic, MANIFESTING HARD for Lewis for 2023. Also, thank you Ru for filling in some of the friend info for me. XOXO

 Thank you for reading, I appreciate it!

 If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

 ***NOT Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

 ~~~~~~~

"Just fuck already! Everyone knows you both want to. Shit it’s been years of this pining from a distance, and will they won’t they suspense. Years of both of you playing too many fucking games!"

 Your eyes widened at her unexpected outburst; an outburst geared to you.

 "Hey, hey, easy with those accusations, matter of fact baseless accusations."

 You continued to apply her your makeup. Everyone was set to meet at the airfield at a certain time and though you were usually late for most things that didn’t include work, you really wanted to get there on time.

 "Baseless? Y/N! The looks you both share, the undercover flirting that everyone has peeped at some time or another over the years since you reconnected, the connection, the--."

 "Aht, Aht, Aht, stop all that mess. Whatever you're smoking please bring some along cause we all deserve to be this delusional at some point on this trip."

 Gisella hip bumper you so hard that you went flying onto the bed. When you landed you busted out into a fit of giggles. "What have I told you about using that weapon against friendlies?"

 "Friendlies my ass! I’m just tryna help your kitty kat finally purr. No one should have to be celibate for 4 years."

 "Ain’t nobody forcing me. It's a choice," you countered.

 "A choice because you’ve been dealing with fools, assholes and below subpar men and you don’t have to when you have Lewis."

 "I don’t have Lewis, everyone has Lewis," you teased taking a stab at his philandering reputation.

 Gisella couldn’t help but giggle. Lew's reputation was legendary. You’d heard so many rumors about every aspect of him over the years it was insane. You tried to steer clear of the majority of it but there were bombs that were dropped among your friend group and those bombs had made you know more about his alleged stroke game and alleged baseball bat pleasure stick than you should.

 Those bits lived rent free in your head, but you'd never admit it out loud or to yourself for that matter. Before your head could drift off to those rent-free thoughts, you shook your head hoping to clear it. Just then Nikki walked in dressed as if this trip was a fashion show. No doubt she was wearing everything from her new line, Baciami.

 "Another Lewis denial?"

 "You know it!”

 You rolled your eyes. When these two decided to gang up on you, you didn't stand a chance. Rolling off the bed, you scurried into the ensuite to grab the rest of your beauty items to pack. Though you knew where each item was, you took your sweet time, not wanting to hurry back into the bedroom for your friends to continue the current conversation. The vibration of your phone tucked into your front tie top buzzed against your breast. You knew it wasn’t a good thing to keep your phone against your breast, but it was usually always the most convenient place for you.

 MSG Lewis: Wheels up at 8 no if, ands, or buts, I’m not even playing, kitten.

 You rolled your eyes then tapped out a reply. Before you sent yours another text from him came in.

 MSG Lewis: I’m not afraid to leave your ass behind.

 “Ha,” you said to yourself.

 Opting for a voice reply, you went off.

 “Listen you may be fucking eight-time championship holder and feeling yourself hard over this newly long awaited and much deserved title but don’t get it twisted. I am the life of this party, have always been the life of this party, and will always be the life of this party. Just sit there looking pretty and expect me when you see me.”

 You made sure all your sass and attitude dripped from every single word, then hit send with a smile on your face as you waited for his no doubt equally sass filled response. Sure, enough about half a minute later you got his reply, a voice one.

 “Put some respect on my name and run me my respect. I am an eight-time title holder, and I don’t take anyone’s shit no matter how beautiful they are. Get your fine ass here on time or else, kitten.”

 You heard the words he emphasized and the way his voice oozed of authority and control and your belly clenched. Your head went back to the rumors of his Dom kink, and you slumped against the bathroom sink with a sigh. It was just another bit of evidence you had to lock away in the untouchable, unspeakable box of things pretraining to Lewis. The man himself was in this box and definitely classified under untouchable. You listened to the message again and clung to him calling you beautiful and pointing out your fine ass. You sighed again knowing that he would see you taking this long to reply as his victory. The man was competitive in everything.

 “Or else what? You know damn well that I’ve got you wrapped around my pinky finger. You ain’t goin nowhere without me and that’s that on that!”

 You giggled as you send the voice reply. When you turned, there stood Gisella and Nikki both with snarky “I told you so, you’re caught” looks on their faces.

 “Oh the foreplay is very telling,” Nikki said.

 You rolled your eyes, grabbing your things and walking back into the bedroom.

 “Ugh, whatever. He says he’ll leave us if we’re not on time. So let’s try not to get left ladies.”

 You disappeared across the way into your closet determined to finish up everything you still had to do. Thirty minutes later, you were all in the SUV that had been sent for you with your bags loaded in the back finally on your way to the airfield. On the drive you replied to the last emails from your agent and editor ensuring they knew you weren’t going to be too attached to your emails. Their reminders to have the rest of the chapters for your book completed by the time your returned from this trip made you roll your eyes to the back of your head.

 They’d been hounding you for these chapters for three months now. Three months of daily “friendly” email remainders, three months of weekly drop ins to check on” your wellbeing, and monthly sit-down meetings that stretched for hours for mapping and plans all centered around this second book that apparently everyone was anticipating. Maybe the anticipation was the reason why you were so reluctant to write it. maybe your stroke of luck with the pen had fizzled, maybe you just weren’t into the idea anymore.

 Those were the reasons you gave them when they asked what was taking so long. Those were the PC reasons. You couldn’t very well tell them that your well of inspiration for sex, smut and sultry human connections had dried and caved into the center of the Earth. You couldn’t tell them that you were dry in more ways than one. So instead of exposing yourself in that unfavorable way, you tapped out a very professional response.

 Consider it done.

 Exiting your emails, you sighed. Hopefully this trip ended up being for more than celebrating Lewis’ 8th title. Perhaps by the end of this vacation you’d come back with a hundred pages of unputdownable content, even if you had to fake it till you made it.

 “Why is there such a huge wave of stress coming off of you now?”

 “Just my manager and editor on my back again. They worse than Sallie Mae!”

 Your friends laughed.

 “That’s why you shouldn’t have made that first book so damn good. Now everybody waiting, tapping their feet expecting a slab of gold to drop into their hands,” Gisella said.

 “So she should be mediocre?”

 “I say just write something. You’ve been dragging your feet for three months. Just give them something and be done with it.”

 “I mean that is an option, Nikki added.

 “I don’t want to just give something half assed. I wanna feel it and I just haven’t been feeling it no matter how hard I try,” you admitted.

 The silence stretched for a few moments before Nikki piped up. “Maybe a change of scenery is what you need. This trip will do you some good. We promise to give you time to write.”

 You squeezed her hand as a thank you before you bounced your shoulder into Gisella for the same purpose. They may mess with you mercilessly, but they also had your back to the end.

Miraculously you made it to the airfield with five minutes to spar. The driver unloaded your bags once you got the private jet while the three of you approached the others waiting there. Once Daniel shouted your name, they all turned. You waved at Daniel, his girlfriend Cassie, and Mabdulle, his girlfriend Robin, Miles, and Andrew. They four happily waved back at you but the closer you got you realized there was another person there.

 Squinting your eyes, you peered closer behind your dark sunglasses. There stood a slim, brunette with high lights at the ends of her hair giving her the ombre look. She wore tiny shorts and a crop top and knee high sparkly heeled boots. You watched her put her arm around Lewis’ shoulder then scoffed because you immediately knew why she was there. His plaything for the trip.

 “Who is that boney girl?”

 You snorted at Gisella. She always acted like this was the first time she’d ever seen Lewis’ antics on display.

 “She is how I know Iont got Lewis, everyone’s got Lewis. “

 Nikki snorted and threw her head back laughing. “This trip is sure going to be interesting.”

 “Whatever, she won’t last three days before he’s sent her packing,” Gisella voiced.

 “Three days huh?”

 Nikki looked as if she were contemplating deeply over those words before she added to the wager. “I give it two.”

 You looked between them and shook your head. You were not going to partake in this bet because they both had good odds.

 “I see your ass likes playing with fire,” Lewis said holding up his designer gold and diamond watch that you knew had to have cost him half a mil.

 “You know I like it when it hurts.”

 “Yoooo!”

 Daniel spun around in his exaggerated fashion heightening the antics. You loved him dearly. You considered him the best of Lewis’ friends. He always seemed to be genuinely looking out for him and his best interests.

 “Bruv, that’s very telling,” Miles added.

 You shrugged, “I’m a grown ass woman, not tryna keep no secrets. “Hi, I’m Justice!”

 You looked to the beauty because Lewis. She had her hand held out a wide smile on her face and her sunglasses atop her head. no one else spoke and you felt all the eyes on you watching to see what you’d do. You didn’t know what the interest was for. You glanced at Daniel and Cassie who both lifted their brow like the synchronized couple they were while Miles has a Cheshire cat smile on his face looking like that creature in the movie Grimcutty. He clearly was expecting some showdown.

 “Hey, I’m Y/N, this is Nikki and Gisella.”

 You shook her hand in a pleasant way, your mother didn’t raise no ill-mannered child. Soon after, Nikki and Gisella both shook her hand, but it was done with complete lackluster. They didn’t like her for no other reason than she was coming along.

 “Cute glasses,” Justice said pointing to the ones you were wearing.

 “LewLewBoo has the same ones.”

 LewLewBoo you thought while stifling your amusement. Lewis hated cutesy cutesy nicknames. He wasn’t against a few of them but this one you knew he hated. Lewis nudged Justice as if to say cut it out and she gave him an apologetic look, shrinking back slightly.

 “Well, LewLewBoo is always trying to cop my style and be like me what more can we expect from the 8-time champion.”

 His smile widened and you couldn’t help but smile back. The two of you squared up neither budging until you both went in for a hug. He lifted you then spun you.

 “I am so proud of you again. So proud and so so happy!”

 His arms held you off the ground like you didn’t weigh a thing. The tight squeeze gave you ever impression of how strong those arms were.

 “Thank you for always being there,” Lewis said so only you could hear.

 “Of course. What’re friends for?”

 Your eyes locked and you saw how much your actions throughout the season meant to him. You’d been to every weekend, every event. You’d been more than just a friend to him over the last nine months. You’d been a therapist when things went wrong and he was expected to smile through it, a sounding board on different ideas he’d come up with both for racing and his other ventures, alternate strategist when you saw things a little differently than the rest and your vision connected with his, comic when he needed a good laugh about all the bullshit, entertainer when he needed to relieve some stress with a song or some other shit, storyteller when the nights were too much and he needed a soft voice with calming words to soothe the madness inside his head and everything in between. You didn’t mind. That was what friends were for.

 “Are we lifting off?”

  Mabdulle’s uncertain question filtered between the two of you breaking the moment. When Lewis returned you to your feet, you stepped back securing your sunglasses right back on your nose. The group of you made your way to the jet then piled in. Everyone scattered for their version of the perfect seat. The guys congregated around Lewis while the ladies broke off for their own space.

 “Did you hear where we’re going?”

 “Where?”

 “Don’t tell her shit,” Lewis shouted spinning back to look at the group.

 “Come on there is no point in keeping it a secret anymore. I’m here,” you whined.

 “Quit your whining girl. You said you’d go anywhere with me and I’m ‘bout to test that shit.”

 “Oh god, are we going to Switzerland so you can fuck with me Lewis?”

 “I can fuck with you anywhere, girl!”

 Your belly flipped from those words, and it was the most unexpected thing that you had no words for a smartass rebuttal. Lewis saw it too and cocked his head to the side as you dropped down into your seat with a perplexed look on your face.

 Gisella leaned to your ear and whispered, “I’m jumping on Nikki’s bet, 2 days max cause that was clear flirting.”

 You rolled your eyes and did what you did best, faked it till you made it.

 “Whatever.”

 The flight was as rowdy as it always was when all of you got together. The banter was what you all were known for. At every opportunity you took the bait to clown Miles because he was always coming for you. It wasn’t that you hated him, you just liked to push his buttons, liked to rile him up and tease him mercilessly. Sometimes there was this vibe to him that there was something darker to him that he kept hidden at all costs. Sometimes you saw it though. You’d told Lewis about it, but he wasn’t surprised to hear it. He was a great people reader, and he was always aware of the vibes people gave off.

 You were unable to blot Justice out though. She seemed like a nice enough girl to you. An upcoming model, of course, that met Lewis at some fashion event he was at, again of course. She definitely seemed infatuated with him, definitely DTF. You didn’t knock her for that because there was absolutely nothing wrong with being DTF. However, every time she sashayed toward Lewis and sat in his lap to giggle and whisper with him you noted the way your belly rolled like you’d eaten something bad, and it was wrestling you inside. It was interesting and it was something you shoved into the travel bag of untouchable things that you absolutely should stay away from and avoid.

 ~~~~~

 “Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our decent into our destination. Local time is 4pm. Please buckle your seatbelts and prepare for landing. Thank you for flying today Sir Hamilton.”

 You sat up and tried to get a look out the window to get something about where you were, but it was useless, you couldn’t see at all.

 MSG Lewis: Don’t worry. Sit back. You’ll love it here. You won’t want to leave in a week.

 You glanced across the jet to find him sitting by himself with one leg resting on the other at the ankle. He was leaned back in the seat looking as if he were expecting someone to approach him and give him a lap dance.

 MSG: You told me to take three weeks. Where are we going after?

MSG Lewis: You’ll see.

 You gave him a death glare then rolled your eyes.

 MSG: If I’m stressing about where we’re going this whole time, I’m going to blame you to my editor and manager when I come back with not even a page of the one hundred I’m supposed to have written.

 He smiled.

 MSG Lewis: Not my fault you’re curious George. One day that curiosity is gonna get you into some shit you can’t get out of.

MSG: Like what sir?

 You watched his face morph through different emotions, surprise, interest, confusion then regret. You were slightly fascinated wondering what it was he was thinking. Before he could answer, Justice reached out and squeezed his thigh in a spot that said she was familiar with his body. Again, that feeling in your stomach returned but this one irritated you and you found it was harder to push it into that travel bag.

 By the time everyone marched out of the jet, you were more than ready for a drink and a shower. The heat hit you like a low hanging branch to the face. This definitely wasn’t Switzerland. Once all the bags were offloaded, a tall lanky man approached the group.

 “Welcome Mr. Hamilton. It is an honor to have you with us. My name is Mosi.”

 He had a thick African accent. Your eyes widened. Were you where you wanted to go? If so, how did he know you wanted to come here?

 “Thank you for having us, Mosi “Lewis replied.

 You tried to keep your giddiness under wraps, but it was incredibly difficult.

 “Follow me and my team will gather your luggage.”

 A line of four people walked toward the jet while the rest of you followed Mosi. Lewis chatted with him in hushed voices that you couldn’t pick up. You wondered if he was talking so low because of you.

 “Why can’t you just let him surprise you?”

 You hadn’t even noticed Mabdulle moseying up beside you. You snorted realizing you’d been caught eavesdropping or attempting to.

 “I mean I can, I just—want to know.”

 He nodded slowly then shook his head. “He’s been planning this for a bit, couldn’t make up his mind where until like a few days ago. Sit back and let him rock.”

 You began to wonder if he was so indecisive because of you. Before you even asked, Mabdulle nodded.

 “The things we do for friends.”

 With that he walked ahead over to Daniel and Cassie leaving you to wonder what he meant by that and why he’d said it the way he did.

 After a few more steps, you saw the two charter planes that had paddles attached to the bottom of them. Another clue you said to yourself. You were in Africa and going to land somewhere with water. Everyone split up to load into the two planes. You made sure to get into the plane that Lewis and Justice weren’t getting into. You didn’t want to watch any sort of PDA. Just before Lewis got into the plane you watched he glance around as if searching for something. When his eyes landed on yours you noted the clench of his jaw but before he could make another move Justice called his name in a cutesy whine. You clenched your jaw from annoyance because if this was what you were going to have to listen to this whole trip you were going to jump out this plane without a chute.

 Your jaw was dropped, hands pressed to the glass and tongue practically hanging out as you watched the scenery coast by. The turquoise in the ocean called to you, the variation of the shades of greens in the trees complimented it perfectly and you imagined sitting underneath them enjoying a nice breeze and a cocktail. To the horizon the rural lands were such a contrast to the sandy beaches it did nothing but take your breath away. It was perfect. It was everything you’d wanted when you’d seen a random picture and said in passing it was your idea of a perfect vacation. You couldn’t wait to soak it all up.

 The plane landed in the ocean and glided its way to a full stop right on the beach and slowly everyone disembarked.

 “Wow, this is gorgeous,” Robin said staring out into the water once she was on the sand.

 “I can’t wait to get in,” Nikki added.

 You were too busy snapping pictures for memories to join in on the conversation. Every shot was even better than the last and every shot had you more and more excited. The breathtaking sunset was the perfect backdrop and opening for what you hoped was going to be a great vacation.

 “Welcome to & Beyond, Mozambique’s most popular destination,” Mosi said as he stood to the front of the group with his back to the uber luxurious dwellings on the property.

 Your smile was so wide you knew you looked like an idiot.  Lewis caught your eye, and he was smiling just as wide as you were. You mouthed “thank you” and gave you a nod while tapping the side of his nose. It was a thing both of you always did to the other to say, “I got you”. It had always been like that. he’d do whatever he could for you no matter what it was you asked for, and you’d do the same. It wasn’t a tit for tat type of thing or favor for favor it was genuine care all the time.

 After a quick tour of the massive property that Lewis had taken liberty to rent out completely just so your group could really relax without any eyes, you all split up to lock down your rooms and settle in. The local time was nearing dinner and you were teetering on ravenous thanks to you skipping breakfast and only opting for a small fruit salad on the plane as lunch. Your room was perfect, it faced the ocean and gave you quite the view. You knew it would be the perfect view for any late-night writing sessions. And if this was what you were working with then you were excited to get to it.

 You took a shower then plopped onto the floor in your towel to go through your luggage for something to wear for dinner. With your headphones in you went through your choices until you heard the notification sound from your phone. When you glanced down, you found a message from Lewis.

 MSG Lewis: I hope you like the room; you got the best view. I hope it helps with your writer’s block.

 Realization hit you, he’d planned all of this. He’d chosen this place because of you, given you the room with the best view all in hopes to get your groove back. you could have released an audible “oof” right then and there.

 MSG: You didn’t have to do all of this for me.

MSG Lewis: Shut up.

MSG: I’m serious.

MSG Lewis: I like doing things for you. Plus it’s nothing more than all you’ve done for me over the years. WAFF.

 The ball of tension in your belly faded and left a sinking feeling. What are friends for. You took a deep breath, held it for a beat, then slowly let it out. It was then you put your phone down and continued what you were doing with your music much higher than before. After a while you managed to put together something cute and just as you were putting on a lite layer of makeup Nikki walked in.

 “What’s taking you so long?”

 “Perfection takes time.”

 “Heeeeeyyy!”

 You laughed, bringing your attention back to the mirror to finish your brows.

 “Where’s Gisella?”

 “Trying to get all the gossip on Justice. She did a dive on IG and found out she’s a model but also an IG—persona. She saw a few pictures of her with a few other celebs and now she is trying to get the tea.”

 You nodded, of course she was. Gisella could find out anything about anyone. She was better than TMZ, better than any other gossip blog hands down.

 “You don’t seem to care about it though.”

 “Why should I care? I’m all good until she proves to be a problem.”

 Nikki studied you for a moment. You could feel her eyes boring holes into your back. You were not going to fall for it though. She wanted you to open up but opening up was the last thing you planned on doing on this vacation.

 Dinner was amazing, the food on display across the banquet style table was exquisite. Michelin star restaurants in the states could never. Everything you put into your mouth you moaned for, every dish placed before you, you devoured, every flavor that burst over your tastebuds had you rocking in your seat. There was nothing that was off. You tried to keep up with the conversations around you while enjoying the food, but you were sure you missed plenty of useful tidbits.

 When dessert came you slowly ate the decadent cake and looked around the table at all your friends. Time together like this was rare. Lewis’ schedule was nuts, and then when you added yours, it was difficult to get everyone together. Across the table, you noticed Lewis doing the same thing. He was probably thinking the same thing you were. When your eyes met, his smile widened. It was soft and inviting, so similar to him. It slipped for a moment and was replaced by a crinkled brow and a screwed jaw. He looked like he was thinking deeply about something. However, the look quickly disappeared. Raising his glass to you, he bopped his head. You returned the gesture and returned your attention to your plate.

 After dinner, no one seemed eager to go to bed, instead the drinks rolled out and the stories began. No one was safe from being put on blast, no one was left untouched from some embarrassing story from some point in their life and because of that the laughs never ended. When everyone said their goodbyes, you decided to set yourself up to write. After getting everything ready and setting your atmosphere just the way you wanted you sat down with the view of the soft rolling waves of the ocean as your focal point and a bottle of wine beside you. After taking the time to reread your last written chapter you were half a bottle down in the wine with worries of how you were going to match that steam.

 “All right, Y/N, let’s get this down and done.”

 You cracked your knuckles then set your hands ready to fly across the keyboard. Twenty minutes later, your screen was empty and your fingers still hovering over the keyboard.

 “Shit.”

 You grabbed the wine and guzzled the rest then groaned when you realized it was finished. You ventured through the villa to one of the bars and picked out two more bottles. You were determined to get something down. You’d take anything at this point, a sentence, a word. Hell, even a period. Sitting back down, you popped the top of the wine and took a few gulps foregoing the glass sitting to your left. what was the point? This wine tasted a lot stronger than the one you’d just had, and you were grateful for that. With a mouthful of wine, you set yourself for attempt number two.

 Like the first attempt, twenty minutes later you had nothing. That led you to finish the second bottle of wine as you talked to yourself about nothing in particular just your failure to do the simplest of tasks. An hour later, the only thing you’d accomplished was finishing the wine you’d gotten from the bar. You were surrounded by the empty bottles that were scattered around the floor while you were sprawled on the bed. You’d abandoned your laptop and was just staring at the ceiling waiting for the wine to put you to sleep. As your eyes lulled closed, you heard muffled moans that sounded as if they were coming from the room beside you. With your eyes wide, you held still waiting to see if you’d imagined it. A few seconds later, they sounded again.

 What the hell? You knew either Nikki or Gisella were beside you and you also knew that they couldn’t be busting it down with anyone. Your eyes widened even more than you thought it was Gisella and Mabdulle. You’d always gotten the vibes that they were into each other but wanted to keep it on the low.

 “Oh my gosh.”

 You sprang up and pressed your ear to the wall like a total creeper. You planned on holding this over her head for the rest of eternity whenever she tried to come for you. It was quiet over there and you didn’t know if you should be thankful or feel bad about it. Someone was not putting in work.

 “Just stop.”

 You pressed closer hearing that. Stop what?

 “I can make you feel good.”

 You began to wonder why she was pleading with him. This was not Gisella. She took what she wanted, and you knew for a fact she knew how to have a grown man sounding like a whimpering child. You heard slurping sounds and more muffled moaning then gagging. Other than that, it was silent. This definitely wasn’t Gisella. whoever it was did not know their way around a dick. The silence was very telling. You stifled a laugh because you hoped it was Miles, hoped he’d somehow picked someone up and was getting the worst lackluster head of his life. However, it was not.

 “Mmm, Lewis.”

 Your smile dropped, your eyed bugged and you made a face of disgust. No fucking way. Lewis took the room beside you. He knew this was the room he’d chosen for you, which meant this was a deliberate choice. What the fuck? Was he fucking with you? Why?

 “It's not working, it’s cool.”

 “No, let me try some more. What’re you thinking about?”

 He sighed. “W-A-F-F.”

 At that you pulled away from the wall as if it had turned into lava. What the actual fuck! The slurping and moaning began again but you could tell it was not from Lewis, you could tell that he was completely disinterested. As you listened part of you wanted to laugh because this was just pathetic. Another part of you wanted to melt into the mattress and disappear. You’d never been on this side of things, never overheard his shenanigans, never been the fly on the wall. You didn’t know how to act, much less what to think. Another part of you wanted to kick the wall down and show her how it’s done, but another part that was seeing radioactive green and all you wanted to do was She Hulk smash her ass then Sparta kick her into the ocean telling her to doggy paddle back to the states. Was it a strong reaction? Yes, it was. Did you understand it? Not at all.

 So you laid there hearing her failed attempts at making him feel good while letting your thoughts wander on what he meant by saying he was thinking about the code between you, the code he’d said to you several times that day. You knew one thing for certain, tomorrow you were changing your room.

PT 2 Coming....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[littlejuicebox]

I just want to stay in that lavender haze.

Pairing: Astarion x Original Female Character/Ranger AKA AstarionxWren Rating/Warnings: PG maybe 13?/ Act 1 Spoilers / Nudity / Sexual Tension / Gore / Angst / Anxiety / Cursing / Lae'zel being kind of a butthole Chapter number: Nine Word count: 3.9K Masterlist: Click here. Song inspiration: "Lavender Haze" - Taylor Swift Notes: I know only a few people read this series religiously but thank you! Wren and Astarion are my little lovely goobers and I'm glad at least one person loves them as much as I do. And I know my other work gets more attention, but this is my favorite storyline and I plan to continue writing it. That being said, if you do actually enjoy their story… I truly appreciate the comments on this fic and that’s what inspires me to keep writing them even though they don’t get as much traffic.

-----

After terminating the last few goblins, everyone recollected themselves outside of the dilapidated temple. A few healing potions were drunk, a couple of incantations were murmured and then the group turned to Wren with an expectant look, waiting for her next directive.

The half-elf woman never actually wanted to be a leader. But more than once, she’d had the damned role thrust upon her. It was becoming annoyingly, and unfortunately, apparent that this time would be no different. What was it about her that made everyone trust her judgement; why did they let her make the calls? Hadn’t Shadowheart been doing a fine job… couldn’t she just… keep doing it?

The tired little bird sighed, running her bloodied, callused hands through a mess of gut-splattered brunette hair as she looked towards the sky, quickly gauging the time. It was early evening by now. The last few rays of sunlight were glimmering upon the horizon as that soft blend of rose and orange began to melt into a deeper, star-speckled blue. The merry band of misfits had to accomplish two things at once by nightfall… so unfortunately, they would have to split up.

Wren rubbed at the jagged lightning bolt burns sneaking out from underneath her bracers; it hurt like hells. Her eyes glossed over the group as she took a deep, exhausted breath, and then muttered, “Well... I’m sure Halsin needs to get to Emerald Grove as soon as possible. Some of us should go with him and the others should swing by the bog to pack up camp and bring it all back to the Grove. We'll have to head out from there once we've all had some time to recover. Astarion and I will go with Halsin, the rest of you can pack up camp and then meet up with us.”

Lae’zel made it clear she disapproved of this call with a hissed, “Tchk! Why do we have to do all the grunt work, while you and your favorite vampire princess get the easier route.”

Astarion almost leapt forward to snap at insufferable woman, quite displeased with being called a princess. Before he could, Wren’s mouth hardened into a thin line at the challenge, and she quickly stepped closer to the Githyanki, tone dropped into an irritated hiss.

“You’ve been given more people than we have, Lae’zel. The Grove needed Halsin back yesterday, and Astarion is skilled at both downing and evading enemies… whatever we may happen to need along the way. The Archdruid can surely handle himself. As for the rest of you… Well, sorry to be the one to say it and to burst your little bubbles, but none of you aren’t quite as versatile as the two of us, and you all need one another to cover your weak spots. It isn't favoritism, it's pragmatism.

And as for me? I had my brain invaded and nearly fell to my death today… so no, I’m not interested in packing up camp and playing inventory manager right now. If that’s such a problem for you, Lae'zel, and you’re questioning my judgement, then leave my shit there for all I care. I have all I need in my pack... Or should I remind you, I'm not the one that insists on hauling a stone wheel all around Faerun when a simple whetstone would suffice?"

Wren and Lae'zel were roughly the same height; she stood nose to nose with the fighter, her two-toned eyes boring into angry reptilian ones. Gods, Wren was growing so tired of this. If no one else wanted to be the one to make the calls, then why was there always someone questioning her judgement?

“Oi, no worries, mate! I’ll take care of yours and Fangs’ stuff.” Karlach cut in, stepping between the two women, quick to try and ease the group tension. “Go on and we’ll meet you — the Grove has to be in an absolute state by now, what with Kagha and all her antics.”

Lae'zel spat at the ground and then spun away from Wren, and the two groups went their separate ways in silence.

-----

The short journey to Emerald Grove was a mostly quiet one. Astarion felt too mentally worn from all the revelations of the day to play the loquacious, flirtatious rake. Wren, on the other hand, felt absolutely shredded around the edges of both her psyche and her body.

The Druid and the ranger had a brief conversation about her father, but it soon became clear it wasn’t a subject Wren wanted to discuss for too long. She would trail off or become distracted during the conversation, her mind entirely elsewhere. Halsin graciously took the hint and let silence fall among the trio, chalking everything up to the exhaustion of such a tedious and gore filled day.

At the gates of Emerald Grove, many of the tieflings and a few of the druids welcomed the Archdruid with a chorus of ecstatic cheers. All three beings were ushered in with a smattering of hugs, thanks, and congratulations, which Wren numbly accepted and Astarion willingly played into. Halsin soon interrupted the small welcoming party and rushed to interrupt the ritual of thorns, unleashing a scary and very bear-like chastisement to all the participants. His thundering voice drew the attention of everyone in the grove, and Wren took the opportunity to quickly peel away from the scene.

Astarion’s eyes followed Wren as she headed towards where they’d rescued that Tiefling kid from the Harpies weeks ago. This was his chance; the other campmates weren’t around to stick their noses into his business. The vampire thought for a moment that he might try and use his body to lure information from her like a Harpy used their voice to lure tiefling children… and he quickly made his peace with that possibility. Whatever the method, the rogue had to act now, without the risk of outside interruptions. He had to pry some information out of Wren tonight.

The pale elf quickly trailed down the remaining stone steps while the other druids had their heads bowed, listening to Halsin's booming lecture. Silent steps led him around the curved pathway, down to the water bank. He thought he’d see Wren rinsing her hands and face, ridding them of filth or taking a small moment of silence to stargaze or smoke from that pilfered pipe. He truly didn’t expect to see a panicked little bird, tearing wildly her own armor, trying to rip it off. He stared dumbly at the wide-eyed and panting ranger, watching as she appeared to be in the middle of a battle with… well, herself.

Wren’s eyes snapped to Astarion, where he was frozen mid step, scarlet eyes assessing her hysterical movements. Suddenly, she called out in something between a strangled scream and a sob, shaking hands now pulling desperately at her chest plate, “Take it off! Take it off! Please!”

She fell to her knees, half in the sand, half in the water. Her hands ripped at the leather straps of her armor as she heaved. She sounded as if the weight of her armor were crushing her; she sounded as if she couldn't breathe.

Of course, she could breathe… she was speaking, after all. Astarion didn’t know what else to do but answer her pleading voice. So he moved forward, deft hands quickly unsnapping buckles and ripping leather pauldrons from the ranger’s shoulders. She gasped in relief, and without a word, nimble fingers moved down to snap off her chest plate and then quickly loosened the laces of her bracers.

His brow furrowed as he watched Wren’s face, still caked in goblin guts, with thin rivulets of tears streaming from her two-toned eyes. She clumsily slid her bracers off and threw them down into the sand. Wren was still heaving as she sank down into the earth and then suddenly, she was sobbing, her entire body shaking with the force of her cries.

Gods. This absolutely hadn’t been the plan; Astarion was, once again, totally out of his depth here. How did he keep getting caught in these ridiculous situations with her? None of this ever ran on any script he'd ever prepared for himself.

The rogue ran a stressed hand through his hair before he took a deep breath and kneeled beside her, placing his cold hands on either of her shoulders. “Darling, listen to me! Shut up, right now. Stop this instant or else the entire grove is going to be here staring at you in a few minutes and unless I’m horribly mistaken, you don’t want that. Wren, come on, that's enough!”

The ranger wasn’t listening; to be fair, Astarion couldn’t be sure she heard him in her current state. She was still crying -- well, wailing, really -- and the look in her eyes seemed a million miles away. He recognized that look, that feeling. It made his gut churn. The vampire began to panic; she needed to quiet down before this all became an even bigger spectacle, or worse, someone accused him of causing her pain.

“Darling! Wren! For gods sakes—“ The rogue snapped his eyes shut and plunged forward in a last-ditch effort. He smashed his always-cold lips into her always-warm ones, swallowing her insufferable cries, digging so tightly into her shoulders as if he were hoping to pull her out of her own mind with brute force.

They stayed frozen like this for several beats; time almost felt like it ground to a halt. Astarion could hear the half-elf woman’s heart thudding erratically in her chest and then, miraculously, slow itself to a steadier thrum. The vampire opened his eyes and pulled away to see the little bird staring dumbly at him, her perpetually berry-stained lips swollen from the crushing force of his mouth on hers. Wren blinked rapidly, but remained silent, before carefully lifting her hand out of the water and brushing it against her own lips.

“Apologies, darling, but I didn’t know what else to do. Now let’s get cleaned up and then we can chat about whatever is going on in that pretty but absolutely twisted head of yours.” Astarion murmured, quite ruffled, but still lifting himself to his feet and then holding out a hand to help the little bird up, as well.

The half-elf woman had apparently fallen selectively mute, but she nodded her head and followed the vampire as he dragged her back toward the grove circle.

He was still mad at her. Furious, really. He didn’t have all the words to explain why, but he felt she’d somehow been misleading or hiding things from him all along. But then again, hadn’t he been doing the same in so many ways? If he weren't outright lying, which he definitely had more than once, then wasn't he also concealing aspects of himself… just like she had? But somehow, despite the clear hypocrisy Astarion was aware of and chose to ignore, it still felt like a betrayal to him. And yet, even though she absolutely infuriated him… the way she looked in her panic plucked at his heartstrings and compelled him, beyond his better judgement, to comfort her.

Gods this was supposed to be easy. A nice, simple plan. But it grew increasingly complicated by the minute.

-----

Halsin kindly allowed Astarion and Wren access to his bedchamber. The bear of a man often preferred to bathe in the natural water source on the edge of the Grove, but he conveniently kept a tub for soaking within his personal chambers, more for his own rare moments of enjoyment.

“Thank the gods that the druid isn’t totally removed from society.” Astarion mumbled, after Halsin helped to fill the massive wooden tub with heated water and then politely saw himself out. He was about to have a lengthy conversation with Kagha… surely, they would hear the results later.

Wren hadn't uttered a single word, but she watched as the vampire moved around her, plucking jars from the shelf by the tub and sniffing them. Finally, he settled on one, and poured some of the milky contents into the tub, causing the water inside to turn a clouded haze of pale purple. Then, he spun to the little bird and clapped his hands in his signature, impatient chop-chop. “Well, come on then, darling. In you go."

Wren sat blinking at him, unmoving. Astarion scoffed and rolled his eyes, briskly moving toward the archer. “Little bird, surely you aren’t going to turn down the first real bath you’ve had in weeks and the only one you’ll get for who knows how long. Now enough of this. Arms up.”

The half-elf sighed and followed Astarion's order with heavy limbs. The vampire stripped her of everything besides her underwear and then tugged her with a bit of force, over to the tub. The rogue couldn’t help but admire the sinewy ripples of her back, and the freckles along her collarbone as he watched Wren remove her smallclothes and sink into the opaque tub of water.

The little bird closed her eyes and sighed as the comforting smell of lavender began to swirl around her. Wren allowed herself the smallest moment of bliss as she inhaled the relaxing tendrils of scented steam, but then she felt Astarion’s leg slipping into the bath with her and snapped her eyes open to stare at the silver-haired elf.

The man cocked an eyebrow as he assessed Wren’s wide, shocked eyes from where he faced her, now sunk chest deep in water, sitting on the opposite side of the tub. He huffed and leaned back in the bath as his long arms crossed resolutely.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re suddenly a prude now, little bird. This bath is more than big enough for the two of us, thanks to the behemoth it belongs to, and we’ve already seen one another completely nude and in the throes of ecstasy. So, if you think I’m going to pass up the only luxurious bath I might get in weeks, just because you’re naked and in a sour mood, you’re dead wrong.”

Wren chuckled; Astarion smirked in response at the first sign of her potentially improving mood. And then the ranger gave a good-natured eye roll before she shifted over just enough to make a bit of room for the rogue’s legs. But still, she didn’t speak.

The vampire occupied himself with dunking a sponge in water and wiping the grime off his own body. After that, he grabbed a small wooden cup off the bath tray and rinsed his hair; pale hands moved to scrub more of that milky liquid through his blood-flecked silver strands. Astarion closed his eyes and carefully rinsed again, inhaling the floral aroma and ensuring he felt no more suds remaining in his precious curled locks.

When the rogue’s lids fluttered open, the little bird had already moved to scrubbing her own body with a sponge. With his eyes closed, Astarion didn't see that she'd been staring at him, admiring his little smile and the way his hair looked weighed down by the water.

Wren flicked her gaze toward the vampire and sighed; her mouth opened as if she were about to speak, but then she sighed and shut it again. A few more minutes of silence passed, in which both beings simply welcomed the heat as it eased the soreness of overtired muscles.

Eventually, the ranger broke the silence, her voice still raw and scratchy from the earlier episode at the shoreline. The pale elf's eyes were closed as he lounged in the tub, but quickly snapped open when his pointed ears picked up her quiet, shaking voice.

“There are many pathways to and from the Underdark throughout Faerun. Kol was out with his friends, exploring one of those pathways. Unfortunately, they’d picked one that led to a cavern full of Phase Spiders… not unlike the one we encountered down that well.

We were out hunting when we heard their screams and went to investigate. By the time we downed the spiders, Kol was the only one alive… but barely.”

Astarion passed the cup to Wren as she spoke, and a few more seconds of silence passed as she rinsed and scrubbed her own hair with the lavender-scented solution. The elf watched from hooded, relaxed eyes as the water ran down the woman’s neck, languidly flowing down to that little spot at the crook where two faint pinpricks blended into a smattering of freckles, before finally trickling to where her breasts hid under the clouded tub of water.

“My father and the other elders wanted to leave Kol there to die… simply let nature take its course. But a few of the younger generation, including myself, begged them for mercy and they relented. Kol spent a week with us before he was well enough to go on his way and return to the Underdark. But he didn’t want to go. Life isn’t exactly great for male Drows in Menzoberranzan, especially not a second son, despite the Baenre name. So, he left a coded note in the cavern in case any of his other friends hoping to escape came looking for him... and then he was one of us.

Father considered Kol dead weight… he was softer, an artist… he would often draw me pictures of squirrels or other creatures. He was about average with a blade and terrible with a bow… but he was talented in other ways and surprisingly kind. I’d never met a man with a gentle, soft-hearted nature quite like him. And he pulled a softness out of myself that I’d shoved down and all but forgotten when my aunt brought me to my dad.

My father never wanted to be a parent, he remained unwed and unattached for that very reason, but I was an unexpected consequence of his actions and well… suffice to say I didn’t always have the most tender upbringing. Neither did Kol, but he honored his own nature despite that.

Anyway, my dad wanted me to marry Zahara, my first love… or one of the other warriors. His priority was to guarantee my safety and status within the clan. Either Zahara or I were going to be the next elder when one of the clan members passed… so it was the most pragmatic decision. But I was uninterested; so was she… we’d had our fun, but the romantic love just never stuck between us.

Against my father’s wishes, I snuck away with Kol... more than once. We sometimes journeyed down into the Underdark, and he showed me around very briefly. I suppose you've never been, but it’s beautiful down there, truly. We would never venture close to the city; he didn’t want to risk being caught… turning from Lolth is unthinkable and unacceptable in their culture. But I know he missed the beauty of the Underdark… he drew it all the time.

Father eventually relented and gave his blessing for Kol and me to be married. He knew I would leave and marry Kol on my own, settle down in some small hamlet or within a city, if it ever came down to it. So, we were married one beautiful autumn day, and we spent five years as husband and wife until his own kin found him.

They tracked us for days, waiting for the right opportunity. Kol was ambushed; they found him alone by the river near where we’d made camp. He was drawing, practically defenseless apart from a small dagger. I had been hunting not far away with the youngling group I’d been placed in charge of. I ran to the screams, but he was already gone when I got to him... Minthara was among them, she escaped… but one of her siblings and a two of her cousins were less lucky, in the end.”

Wren blinked away tears that were just beginning to form in her eyes as her voice cracked. She inhaled a shuttering breath through wobbling lips. Astarion watched the little lip scar that he was absolutely obsessed with as it trembled and fought back the urge to move forward and envelop it in a kiss.

The little bird dunked her lithe hands under the water and brought them back up to her face, wiping at the final specks of blood still stuck to her forehead and cheeks. She missed the spot near her eye, and Astarion leaned himself forward, lifting his hand to gently rub at the stubborn stain with his thumb. His eyebrows furrowed as he struggled to process all the information. And then, he stuck his foot in his mouth.

“So… when you said you downed two of house Baenre… it turns out you didn’t actually mean your own husband.” He murmured, his hand lingering a beat too long on her cheek.

“No! What?!” Wren snapped, her own eyebrows crinkling together as she pushed Astarion's hand away from her face.

Astarion rolled his eyes and huffed, leaning back again on his side of the tub. Part of him wanted to back off, but the more insolent and hurt part decided to double down. “Look, you've been quite mysterious about all this, and one can’t help but assume things, trying to make sense of it all. You’re hard to read!”

“Have you ever considered I’m not here like a book to be read?” The little bird snapped, suddenly lifting herself out of the bath. Streams of water trickled from her dark hair down her naked, freckled body. Astarion averted his gaze, suddenly quite aware he'd made another misstep and unwilling to piss Wren off further with his wandering eyes.

She climbed from the tub and snatched a towel from the shelf, wrapping it around herself before crouching and rustling through her bag. Then Wren quickly pulled her chemise from the sack and threw it over her head. When she turned and looked at Astarion, the expression on her face was a heartbreaking mixture of disappointment and sadness. She heaved a heavy, burdened sigh as she slipped her camp shoes on and shoved everything into her bag before grabbing it by one tattered strap.

“Astarion…” His name on her lips simultaneously sounded like a song and a slap, “If you’d ever bothered to actually ask me about myself… I would’ve told you the truth. I would’ve told you anything you wanted to know… if you’d just asked. I felt it, that night you pried into my mind, after the first time we kissed, you know. Why do you think you saw primarily nature scenes? That Wood Elf you kept seeing? It was a nightmare… not a memory.”

And then she walked out of the room, leaving Astarion alone and staring up at the ceiling. The vampire ran his hand through his hair and then groaned, dunking himself under the water’s lavender-scented, hazy surface. He closed his eyes, effectively cutting his senses off to the outside world. For a while, Astarion considered staying like this forever… he didn’t need to breathe, after all. Perhaps he could just hide in the tub, senses numb, all alone. Nobody would miss him or come looking for him here… that much was certain.

But soon the bath water started to grow cold, his fingers began to prune, and the rogue’s discomfort forced him to break through to the surface — and to reality — once again. He stood and shook his head, spraying scented droplets around the room before gathering his own towel and wrapping it around his waist. Astarion sighed and sat down on a bench, pinching his nose bridge as he wondered what in the hells he should do now. His body was clean, but his mind still felt riddled with debris.

Perhaps it hadn’t been Wren weaving a messy web around him… perhaps he’d been the one doing it to himself all along.

[amywritesthings]

silver underground. / chapter one.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x F!Reader (Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin)

Word Count: 2.8K

Summary: They say that, before all of this, you dedicated your heart to the Scout Regiment. They say that you're respected as a soldier, trusted as a comrade, and fiercely protected by a Captain. They tell you a lot of things. You remember none of it.

Warnings: Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Eventual Romance, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Flashbacks, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Nonbinary Hange Zoe, Unhinged!Levi, Other Additional Tags to be Added As the Story Progresses

( Read on AO3 )

Next Chapter. / Masterlist.

ONE.

A guttural gasp.

Ugly, brutal, forced; it's the first sound you hear with your own two ears — and you're pretty sure it's coming from your mouth.

From your chest down to your belly, your lungs fill with a deep surprise as they wretch you from nothingness to this — choked airways, freezer-burnt skin, and a splitting headache. Your fingers twitch. Your toes curl. Limb by limb, you body returns to the land of the living. Blinding sunlight invades from all angles, forcing your waking eyes to water profusely at the corners.

Every cell in your body stretches thin in the primal fight for consciousness.

You inhale once more. A pained sound emits somewhere in the back of your throat.

Up.

Get up.

Your hands tremble at your sides, working up your elbows to your shoulders, but it takes another minute for your fingers to flex on command. Determined to fight, you press your open palms to soft, starchy surfaces and push —

It hurts like a bitch.

Then the blurriness of your weeping eyes sharpen, focus, on white — sheets, bandages, gowns. The walls morph from shapeless grays blotches in your peripheral to a stark contrast of sturdy stone.

(Where the hell are you?)

Shaking to oblivion, you finally — finally — sit up. The cot beneath you creaks with protest. Sweat beads along your hairline and onto your brow.

Then an oval-esque shape separates itself from the wall, freezing you in place.

Beyond your shaken breath is a voice, caught at the edge of a tongue.

“She’s—”

You and the shape — blink twice and it's a man in a doctor’s coat — stare at one another. He sports an expression of disbelief, providing little comfort in your state. Too drained to feel the fear rolling off of him, you only mirror his confusion.

Tightening his grip on the clipboard at his chest, the man clears his throat.

His voice cracks, high pitched and lacking assertion.

“Nurse, please alert Commander Erwin and Captain Levi immediately.”

Who?

“They will wish to know at once.”

Why?

“Right away, sir.”

Are you in a hospital?

Your voice doesn’t find you in time to ask the nurse as she hurriedly exits the room, closing the heavy oak door shut behind her. 

“James.”

You swing your attention to the doctor, expecting another nurse at his side, but no one else is here. It’s just you, this cot, and a nervous balding man in a deathly quiet room.

And he’s staring at you.

Birds chirp melodically through the open windows, singing of temporary peace.

“Miss James?”

You blink twice.

“Are you—” You pause, eyes widening at the demolition of your vocal chords. Razor blades cut your voice into tiny little pieces, startling you.

It’s like you haven’t spoken in years.

“Please, Lieutenant, do be careful,” the older man cautions softly, nearing with purposeful steps. The label of authority has you opening your mouth, but no sound emits. “It’s normal to feel disoriented after such a long passage of time.”

“A long pass—” 

You swallow heavily, brows knit in discomfort, before pressing both palms into the cot. Your limbs shake violently as you force yourself to sit taller. You push with the heels of your bare feet, digging them into the mattress to your back to the wall.

The doctor hurries to your side to help, hovering as your spotter.

This is ridiculous.

Why does everything hurt?

Why does everything feel new?

Teeth clenched, you drop the back of your head against the wall and breathe through your nose. The beads of sweat forming on your forehead drip down the sides of your face from exertion. “I don’t know what — you’re implying—”

“Lieutenant—”

“I’m not a Lieutenant,” you finally force between your teeth, strong and assertive.

The man at your side stops fidgeting, and you see his jaw drop at your confession.

Frozen.

Like you’ve said the worst thing he could have heard.

.

.

.

.

Of course these brats had to use up the rest of the good cleaning solution.

The next expedition is scheduled to depart in the next forty-eight hours. Levi Ackerman doesn’t have time to stalk down the new recruits to put the fear of God in them for raiding the shelves, so he makes due with what he has.

Diligently his fingers rub the corner of a rag into the crevices of his ODM gear, laser-focused on eliminating every streak. It’s about the only thing left on his personal agenda before the Scout Regiment load up the horses and supply carts.

The Captain only pauses when he can feel a set of eyes watching the crown of his head.

Waiting.

He hates when people don’t just come out and say what’s on their mind.

The ODM unit flips between his palms to start work on the opposite side.

“Are you going to say something?” he inquires, dripping with boredom.

“Depends: am I interrupting something important?”

His hands stop.

Without moving his head, Levi’s attention flickers high to meet the stern and somber gaze of Commander Erwin. 

“Extremely important,” Levi baits, monotone. “Clearly.”

Erwin hums in acceptance.

“Nurse Phillipa spoke with me,” Erwin starts like he's going somewhere with this, but the statement stops there.

Levi’s eyes roll right into the back of his head and back onto the nearly-spotless gear.

“I’m sure it was grating as always.”

Maybe one day the worried wart would retire and return to the stables before she keels over while treating the next dumbass that gets hurt.

Wait.

A second too late, Levi realizes his sarcasm is not returned. No. Erwin says nothing at all, allowing him to connect the dots on his own. He raises his chin this time to look at the Commander, really look at him, before the slight knit in his brow dissipates.

Wordless in confirmation, Erwin nods once.

The cleaning cloth drops clear from Levi’s hand when he shoots up from the bench.

“When?” Levi demands, but it’s a loaded trick question.

(When did she wake up? When did you find out? When should I — should we — see her?)

There is something Erwin’s not saying right away, too.

“Twenty minutes ago,” replies Erwin.

Levi’s expression darkens. “That long?”

“It took Nurse Phillipa a moment to find me,” he tells him. “She tried locating you first but was unsuccessful.”

“Sounds right for her,” Levi bites, hoisting a leg over the bench to make his way around the table and past Erwin.

Almost past Erwin; he quickly steps in the smaller man’s path, brows high and expectant.

“Levi.” The Captain stops when motioned to do so, but his nostrils flare. “You cannot barge straight into the medical wing—”

“I can,” he challenges. “Easily.”

“—without hearing the preliminary report first,” Erwin finishes.

Levi’s jaw sets, staring straight through the Commander’s chest.

“I know the extent of her injuries.”

Erwin sighs heavily, deflating in his uniform-clad shoulders. The longer he waits to say anything, the thicker the air in the room becomes. 

“Physically, yes, you do.”

Levi’s blood runs cold.

“The fuck does that mean?”

.

.

.

.

“I know it, just give me a second.”

Start with the basics, the doctor suggests.

First he asks if you knew where you were.

You didn’t.

Then he asks if you recall your home town.

You can’t.

Finally, he asks something so basic that you open your mouth with confidence you should not possess:

Tell him your full name.

Your voice cuts out with a singular syllable, a vowel, until… nothing. 

Everything is a blank space on an untouched piece of paper.

Why can’t you say anything at all? These are simple questions with simple answers. You’ve known them your entire life.

Right?

“Perhaps just your first, then,” the doctor woefully suggests when you linger in silence for too long.

“I’m getting there,” you warn, low and dangerous.

“Oh— Of course, t–take your time,” he stammers.

So you do.

For two whole minutes, you marinate on the possibility of your first name. Maybe three letters? Or three syllables. Something to do with threes.

It shouldn’t be this hard.

“Is James—” It sounds foreign on your hibernating tongue. “—my last name?”

Your face falls when the doctor frowns.

The impending panic is interrupted by a sudden woosh where wood slams into stone.

The door swings wide as a short man with jet-black hair and intense gray eyes emerges from the hallway. He says nothing, staring in your direction with a purpose. He wears a tan jacket with an emblem etched to the sleeve — Scout Regiment?

Is this a military hospital?

“Captain Levi!”

You want to look at the doctor to gauge the reaction in conjunction to his relieved exclamation, but the stranger's eyes have yet to leave you.

“Doctor,” he agrees, curt in tone.

“I sent Nurse Phillipa to find you.”

“I was found.” The man remains locked at the room’s threshold. “So? Tired of sleeping yet, or are we looking at six more months of winter?”

The strange question is directed to you.

You blink with a squeeze, brow knit.

“You only look like total shit, so I guess that’s a good sign.”

Oh. So he’s rude.

“Captain—”

“Apologies for Levi’s intrusion, Doctor Rini.”

Your attention leaves the Captain long enough to acknowledge the taller man that now stands behind him. Blonde, built, and strong — he holds himself with authority and grace.

If you could take an educated guess, then this must be the Commander the doctor requested the nurse to fetch a half hour ago. He smiles plainly to you, though it’s cautious. 

Where the captain barges in, the commander handles what is in front of him with kid gloves.

“Nurse Phillipa was able to locate me in my office. I had to retrieve Captain Levi personally. Is it alright if we come in, or is she not yet lucid?”

And where Erwin remains at the door, Levi takes the first rebellious steps forward.

“She is… lucid, Commander.” An unfamiliar fear grips at your heart from the way in which Doctor Rini speaks with fragility. There’s a but coming — you can feel it.

“But?”

Apparently so does Captain Levi, who narrows his eyes their way when he speaks.

The doctor sighs in defeat and gestures his right hand to you.

“Lieutenant, state your name.”

Both Erwin and Levi turn their attention to you.

Shit.

Suddenly the world feels too small.

When you hesitate, something indistinguishable flickers over Levi’s face.

“...you originally stated she suffered a major concussion,” Erwin says.

“Yes, I did,” the doctor agrees. His hand drops to fidget with his other, “and I also stated on the report that the probability of temporary to permanent post-traumatic memory damage was high.”

“In other words, sustained amnesia.”

Erwin is the one to deliver the blow to the room. Your chin dips to stare at your own hands that have been bandaged and re-bandaged again and again. The glue from the wraps have left sticky trails on your skin.

Memory loss.

Where you are, where you’re from—

Your own damn name.

“It never said anything about permanent,” Captain Levi argues under his breath. He stalks towards your bed, shrugging off Erwin’s hand in the process. His slender fingers catch on the back of a visitor’s chair, dragging it carelessly with him.

Until he’s face to face with you.

This man, this captain, has immense bags under his eyes. Sunken sockets, like he’s never slept peacefully for a single day in his life. Everything about him is unnervingly calm, as if he’s one bowstring pluck away from an explosion.

Theatrically he sits down at the side of your cot, legs spread and forearms pressed to the tops of his thighs so he can lean forward.

“Where are we?” he interrogates.

“Levi,” Erwin warns, but he ignores it.

“Answer the question.”

You run your tongue along the seam of your lips. “I don’t know.”

“You do know.”

“I don’t.”

“Where — are — we?”

“Stohess District?” you guess, and his jaw sets.

“Try again, dumbass.”

You can’t hide the surprise on your face from his crude name calling. “Excuse me?”

“Levi,” Erwin warns again, this time stronger.

Levi doesn’t let up. “What is this building called?”

“I said I don’t know.”

“Do you know what titans are?” he asks instead, cocking his chin.

Frustrated, you ball your hands into fists. “Of course I know what the fuck titans are.”

“Good,” Levi says without skipping a beat. “And do you know what the Survey Corps is?”

“Yes,” you answer, exasperated. “Why does this matter?”

“Do you know where you’re from?”

This was one of the doctor’s questions before Levi came bursting through the door. You stare the blank-faced man down, determined to answer — but nothing comes to mind. Nothing substantial, anyway.

Just a feeling: dampness surrounded by darkness.

“I don’t,” you resign.

“You do,” he argues. “You just aren’t trying hard enough.”

“I am trying, asshole,” you hiss. 

At that, Erwin takes an authoritative step forward. “Levi, that’s enough.”

Levi considers this heeded warning for only a beat.

“So that’s it, then, huh?” Levi starts instead, icy calm. “You’re going to lay down and happily take being a nameless has-been after being stuck in a coma for months?”

“It’s been months?” you yelp, deciding to instead direct your question towards Erwin.

If the commander feels any sort of way about your condition, then he’s chosen to swallow those emotions to his belly. He sports a neutral expression (opting out of a good cop performance to Levi’s bad cop) so you push to communicate with him instead.

“I’m sorry, but none of this makes any sense. Did I do something wrong to a Scout or something?”

Commander Erwin closes his eyes once his index finger and thumb touch his chin in contemplation. Slowly he inhales, debating his choice of words. 

Levi, for the first time since his arrival, says nothing.

“I know this must be very difficult for you,” Erwin begins, “but please know we will do everything in our power to make you feel as comfortable as we can. However, I must ask: do you truly remember nothing about your accident?”

“No.”

“Not even an object, a phrase… a name?”

(Fuck, this emphasis on fucking names.)

“I think I’d remember the name of this piece of shit.” It takes a moment to realize it’s your voice blurting unfounded venom towards the captain, who remains seated staring intently at you. You sigh heavily, frustration climbing. “I’m sorry, but no. I’m sorry I can’t be of much help. It… Doctor Rini told me my last name was James.”

You wince hearing the name with your own voice again.

The jagged puzzle piece continues to not fit the three mens’ narratives.

“What he tells you is true,” Erwin confirms gently. “It is James.”

Your next words come out faster than anticipated; a straight-from-the-brain thought at the tip of your tongue. “It doesn’t feel like my last name is James—”

The chair scrapes along the floor. 

Abruptly, Captain Levi rises to his feet and turns towards the medical wing entrance.

“This is a waste of time,” he mumbles to Erwin, head bent.

A swirl of emotions hit you like a swift punch to the gut. You physically move with it, jerking like you’re about to vomit.

‘Fuck this.’

A voice echoes in the back of your skull, creating a fuzzy feeling along the nerve endings of your arms. Although you cannot see or dream it, you hear it: like a whisper in the wind curling from the open window.

‘I’m going whether you want me to or not.’

It’s your voice but stronger. Certain. Angry.

Angry about what?

‘This is a waste of time.’

—but that voice isn’t yours.

Before you realize what you’re saying, you call out to the departing captain:

“You're always so quick to walk the fuck away."

Instantly the sound of his steps cease against the floor.

The room falls silent, deathly so, and your widening eyes meet the back of his beige jacket. The Scout Regiment emblem glistens in the protruding sunlight. Levi waits with his back to you, chin bowed to his chest.

Are you hallucinating his voice in your head?

Why were you so compelled to say something to him?

Your empty stomach churns.

"...I didn't mean to say that," you whisper. "I don't know why I said that, sir, forgive me."

Without another word — without looking back — Levi exits the room.

Commander Erwin watches the shorter man depart, waiting a beat, before walking out after him.

In the event of their leave, the doctor takes the opportunity to rush to your side. His fingers gently press into a pulse point, observing your heart rate.

You’re sure it’s spiked, but you can’t stop staring at the open door frame.

You don’t know him.

You don’t know either of them.

Right?

Author's Note: Some disclaimers - I am an AOT baby earning her lore degree bc I just binged AOT for the first time last month and have been writing this story like a fiend ever since. I haven't read the manga, so forgive me if I get details wrong. This story is in 2nd Person POV i.e. 'you', but the reader has a last name the characters reference often.

Also I only just found out that the AOT2 game calls Levi 'Lieutenant', which is hilarious and I'll be putting my own spin on that later. This is just my little passion fixation project, so I hope you enjoy reading as much as I'm enjoying writing it! There is no set update schedule at this current time.

[freesia-writes]

Chapter 35: Completion (THE END)

During the Clone Wars, the Bad Batch is tasked with a variety of missions across the galaxy. An unexpected addition to their team throws a wrench in the mix, particularly for Tech, who finds a particular connection with this disillusioned Padawan-turned-mechanic named Vel throughout the events in this action-adventure romance. COVER ART BY @zaana!!

Master List of Chapters

Author's Note: I JUST CAN'T STOP WITH THESE TWO! ;) But I feel content with where it has landed, and I suppose I could always add more down the road. But for now, we'll wrap it up with a sweet little bow and send you off feeling all warm and fuzzy. ;)

“Hi guys!” Wrecker yelled, stumbling as he kicked off his boots and barreled into the room. “Oooo, Vel, it smells delicious in here!” 

Hunter soon followed, wearing one of the locals’ hats that made him look even more rugged along with the beard he now sported. “I wrapped some fresh steaks and put them in the chest freezer out back,” he announced, pulling the hat off of his tousled head of hair and hanging it in the entryway. 

“I’m pretty sure he stole something out of it too,” came Echo’s surly voice, though his pale face was curved by a warm smile as he squeezed through the door. 

“Well hello everybody,” Vel laughed, glancing at the wall chrono. “We just finished dinner; thought no one was coming!”

“We’re not here for dinner!” announced Fives, piling into the cottage behind Echo. The living room had been arranged to accommodate as many people as possible, and once Crosshair had sidled in and shut the door behind him, it felt absolutely full in the best way. Other clones had come to Bendego as well, but their visits were more occasional and always planned.

“Alrighty then!” she responded cheerfully, still immediately beginning to rummage in the kitchen for a large serving platter, where she began to assemble every acceptable snack and finger food they had in the house. 

Wrecker clapped Tech across the back and pulled him into a giant hug, whispering none too quietly, “So, did you do it yet?” 

“No, Wrecker, and do keep your voice down,” Tech answered, flustered. “I told you – you all have to do your part first.”

“Ohhhh, oh right,” Wrecker said, beaming ear to ear. “I’m just so proud of you.” He ruffled Tech’s hair with his knuckles, earning a squawk of protest as well as an under-the-breath chuckle from Crosshair, who had nestled himself in his favorite corner chair immediately. 

Vel had been surprised by how much she enjoyed playing host. Perhaps as someone who had never felt welcomed or sufficient, it was a way for her to love and serve others generously, to ensure that they always had the impression that they were valued and a joy to have around. But whatever the cause, she always felt content with a full home. Granted, she was just as content to be cuddled up with Tech on the couch, watching the trees fade to black outside as evening gave way to night… They were both wonderful in their own way. So as she perched on the armrest next to Tech, gazing around at the faces of her beloved family, she couldn’t resist a misty-eyed smile as she considered how drastically different their lives all were now as compared to before. 

“Psst – get up, di’kut,” Echo whispered, elbowing Fives in the side. The two of them were taking up the other seats on the plush sofa beside Tech, and apparently Fives had just been volunteered to give Vel a proper place to sit.

“You get up!” Fives laughed, jabbing his brother right back. “Alright! Alright…” he caved in the face of Echo’s scomp arm, which was cocked and ready to deliver a much sharper poke at any continued protest. Fives hauled himself to his feet, muttering a fond insult under his breath as Echo scooted over to take his place, beckoning Tech to follow so that Vel could sit beside him. A steady stream of muttered threats and insults about the nerve of these disabled war veterans and their sense of entitlement followed him all the way to his new seat – a wooden chair pulled up from the dining table. 

“Aww, the battle-hardened ARC trooper’s backside is too delicate for the harshness of a wooden chair,” Crosshair needled, at which Echo laughed delightedly. 

“Yeah, Fives – not such a hard-ass now, are you?” he joined in, watching Fives’ determined effort to hide his smirk behind a squinting look of disdain. 

“Ahh, your mother’s a droid,” he said dismissively, making a hand gesture at Echo that effectively ended the conversation, as they were both snickering too hard to speak further.

“Alright…” Hunter spoke up, his sergeant voice making an appearance. “Everyone quiet down. You all ready?” 

Vel’s eyes snapped quickly from Hunter to Tech, a quizzical expression on her face. Tech shifted uncomfortably, and as he moved his hand to rest on his knee, she could have sworn she saw his fingers tremble. There was a palpable tension in the room, some kind of tightly-strung sensation that she couldn’t ignore. She slipped a hand over his, trying to entice him to look at her or give any hint as to what was going on. 

“Ready for what?” she asked aloud, unable to hold back her curiosity as she looked from face to face.

“You’ll see,” Crosshair said quietly, eyes flickering lazily to her before returning to Hunter, who cleared his throat, then rose to his feet and stood right in front of her and Tech. He held a small wooden box in his hands.

“I pledge my support and my protection, my encouragement and my help, however the two of you may find yourselves in future need. I wish upon you all the happiness in the world and the deepest fulfillment in every future endeavor,” Hunter said, clearly having rehearsed it a number of times judging by the theatrical voice in which he delivered it. He nodded curtly, then passed the wooden box to Crosshair and returned to his seat. 

Vel looked around the room, thoroughly confused, but everyone else had a knowing grin on their faces that was starting to make her mad. She turned to Tech, nudging him in the side with her elbow, and he finally turned to face her. It was a shock to see the undeniable nervousness on his face, but before she could ask about it, he softened into an affectionate smile, reaching a hand up to touch her cheek and then pressing a finger to his own lips, tilting his head back to the center of the room, where Crosshair had assumed Hunter’s position. 

“I too pledge my support and protection, encouragement and help… Depending on the–” 

“Crosshair,” Hunter growled.

“However the two of you may find yourselves in future need,” Crosshair continued, casting Hunter a snarky glance before returning his gaze to Tech and Vel. His snide expression faded a little, a seriousness taking its place as he looked back and forth between the two of them. “And I wish upon you a peaceful life, enjoying each other and the land you now call home.” Before he sat, he handed the wooden box to Wrecker, where it virtually disappeared in a single hand of his as he leapt eagerly to his feet. 

“And I pledge my support and protection and encouragement and help! Howsoever the two of you might need,” he said, booming voice shaking the delicate little plant pots scattered across shelves here and there. “And I wish that you both would have the most fun, er, I wish upon you the most fun, and lots of adventure, and all the nerdy stuff you both love… in huge amounts!” He beamed with pride at the two of them, as though he were somehow responsible for all that had transpired, and shoved the wooden box at Fives before lumbering back to his seat. 

“What are you all…” Vel began slowly, their uncharacteristically meaningful words and serious expressions whirling in her mind. 

“All will be clear in a moment, my love,” Tech murmured into her ear, lifting up an arm to wrap around her. She snuggled against his side, nervous and tingly, bewildered and intrigued, as Fives spoke in front of them now.

“I pledge to you my support and protection, my encouragement and help, and whatever else. And I wish upon you all the hot sex and–”

“Kriff, Fives,” Echo grumbled, palming his face with a hand, although Crosshair was thoroughly pleased. 

“Hey! I mean it, you old prude!” Fives said indignantly, “Besides, I have the box. So shut it.”

Vel laughed, completely perplexed but thoroughly enjoying the show. Tech let out a deep sigh, shaking his head minutely as though he were disappointed. 

“ANYWAY,” Fives continued, casting one last authoritative look at Echo, “All the hot sex AND deep friendship and the ability to laugh with each other even in the thick of it.” He nodded once, pleased with himself, then threw the box at Echo’s face, where he barely caught it before it smacked him in the cheek. Tech spluttered his disapproval at the act as Fives sat and Echo stood before them. 

“Alright. I wish you both. No, wait. I KNOW, Fives! I pledge my support and my protection, my encouragement and my help, however the two of you may find yourselves in future need. I wish upon you shared adventures that bring you closer together, appreciation for the simple things in life, and a commitment to and appreciation for one another that never fades.”

Echo handed Tech the box amid a few playful “aww” sounds from the peanut gallery, then plopped back into his seat. Tech gazed down at the wooden box – a small rectangle with a smooth, unfinished surface – and took a long, deep breath. Vel looked at him intently, heart pounding in her chest. He moved deliberately, sitting up straight and turning his body toward her, fidgeting with the piece in his hands for a moment before becoming still. He opened the box, fishing out a delicate, dark-colored chain that led to an elegantly-carved wooden pendant. It was a light, creamy color that, upon closer inspection, had tiny specks of red and dark brown scattered throughout, and it had been whittled into graceful curves that wound around and through each other with impossible intricacy. Tech held it up between them, lifting his amber eyes to Vel’s as he spoke. 

“May you please hold out your hand?”

She promptly complied.

“Vel, it is an established fact that I love you,” Tech began, cupping her hand in his and lowering the wooden pendant into it. She brushed a thumb across the cool, smooth surface before looking back to him as he continued, taking her other hand in his as well. “I had been wrestling with an unsettling inability to accurately express the depth of this sentiment, until a discussion in the village square introduced me to the Bendegoan bonding ceremony, which is a similar concept to what is practiced on many other planets, sometimes called marriage or lifelong commitment or irrevocable partnership. Regardless of the title, I was sufficiently pleased with the magnitude of such a ceremony, and desired to invite you – and our extended family – into it.”

Words were nowhere to be found as Vel swallowed hard, eyes glistening at all the implications of his words. 

“The ceremony consists of declarations of support and well-wishes from your closest companions. It is then followed by the presentation of a handcrafted token of commitment and significance.” His eyes dropped to her hand, where the gorgeous piece of wood lay. “I carved this from the specific tree that so captured your attention on Kashyyyk. The red spots may be familiar to the eye. That was the moment you first began to let your guard down, and the curiosity and wonder I observed has captivated me ever since.”

Wrecker made a fake snoring sound that was promptly turned into a grunt at the whack of Hunter’s hand on his head. Tech rolled his eyes, shaking his head and looking at Vel with a small smirk. 

“I suppose I can share more about the significance at a later time. At present, the only remaining component is your response to my proposition. In case my apparent long-windedness has caused you to forget,” he said, a sparkle in his eyes, “I am asking you to commit yourself to me, and I to you, as long as we both shall live, in a shared bond of love and affection.” 

“I would love that,” Vel managed to choke out, her voice squeaky and eyes misty with the overwhelming joy of all that was playing out before her. 

“I may be incorrect but I am under the impression that you need to say ‘yes’.”

“Oh come on, Tech!” It was Hunter now whose exasperated tone caused a wave of chuckles to echo throughout the group. 

“It is apparent that my humor needs additional refinement,” Tech murmured to Vel, as she whispered “yes” and pulled him in for a hug, burying her face in his neck. A chorus of approval soon followed, and when they pulled apart, Tech carefully fastened the pendant’s chain behind the graceful column of her neck, brushing his fingers lightly across it where it lay beneath the divot of her collarbone. 

“Now we party!!” Wrecker announced triumphantly, and cacophony ensued. Apparently there was an abundance of fancy treats they had gathered from the villages – all kinds of sweet specialties reserved for special occasions – and they bustled about to clear the table and fetch them from the outdoor freezer. After a passing wallop on the back and a thumbs-up from Fives, Tech looked back to Vel, caressing her cheek with the backs of his fingers. 

“You’re really stuck with me now,” she said with a quiet laugh.

“That is precisely and indefinitely where I desire to be,” he answered, tipping her chin with a gentle hand and kissing her with his whole heart.

artwork by @vimse!

One last note -- the necklace was just something I found on Etsy; I didn't create it in any way. :)

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[clumsy-jiminie]

ɪɴᴇᴠɪᴛᴀʙʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ | ᴘᴊᴍ | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴏᴜʀ

❝ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀ ʜᴏᴏᴅɪᴇ ❞

↣ summary :: Kiara Smith had dreamed of true love for as long as she could remember. from being obsessed with the Disney princesses who found affection in the strangest situations to dressing up as a bride from kindergarten to fourth grade. it was the only thing she ever truly desired, so much so that a pleasant smile and kind eyes could have her smitten in seconds. right when she thought she found the one, a chance encounter with Park Jimin—the city’s famously perfect fuck boy with a smile so warm and a heart of ice—has her feeling quite the opposite. he knocks her off her axis and derails her life as she knows it, yet the universe seems to have another plan for the two.

↣ rating :: 18+

↣ genre :: fluff, angst, smut, e2l, slow burn

↣ pairing :: business owner!jimin x fem!artist!oc ft. taehyung

↣ word count :: 4.7k

↣ chapter warnings :: mature language, angst without resolve, smut - marking, unprotected sex, creampie

↣ notes :: pretty pretty please don't let anyone treat you like this 🥺 small argument or not, there are healthy ways to communicate this type of insecurity 🫶🏽

↣ next :: previous :: series m.list ↢

if you have any questions, comments, or concerns PLEASE don't hesitate to message me or send me an ask! my inbox is always open. 💖

"I can see that look in your eyes, the one that shoots me every time you grace me with your cold shoulder."

- ᴄᴏʟᴅ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅᴇʀ, ᴀᴅᴇʟᴇ -

Kiara stuffed her hands in her oversized hoodie pocket as her feet led her through the hustle and bustle of the city streets. The weather was getting more tolerable as they approached a new month in the year. But then again, you could have a full snowstorm in New York in the spring. She kept her outfit light today, as light as she could go without freezing: A hoodie, a pair of leggings, and a spring jacket. The sneakers on her feet were old—dirt and stains in the crevices while the laces started wearing out. Kehlani blasted through her headphones as she weaved through people. She missed the city dearly. There was something about the feeling here that was addictive. Everyone had somewhere to be—whether it was to a job that they hated or a job that they loved, to see a family member, to sell a hat, to shop until they created a debt, or to see something incredible. Everyone had a story, no matter how big or small.

Kiara's story led her to a quaint coffee shop. Tiny and modern, it is a perfect puzzle piece in the large-scale picture of Manhattan—the smell of dark beans roasting mixed with the semi-sweet scents of freshly baked pastries. Exposed brick and pipes gave the place an industrial feel, partnered with the greenery hanging from the walls. Furniture with dark wood and black metal legs contrasted with the grey concrete flooring.

Despite it now being a crowded place where teens and adults alike could get their daily fix of the dark liquid, she knew this place from its humble beginnings. Mr. Choi brewed a mean cup of Joe, and she would sip it during the early morning rush before class in college. She and her best friends practically lived in this shop during school. They were always the first to arrive and the last to leave. Mr. Choi almost adopted them, considering how often they were there. Jeongguk even got a job here at some point, figuring if he was going to spend all his time here, he might as well get paid for it.

They still gather here occasionally, especially on days like today. When Kiara arrived at the door, she pushed it open. A crowd greeted her upon entering. Most had drinks in their hands already but were struggling to find a seat in this small coffee shop. Kiara squeezed through the people until she arrived at her usual table. A seat by the window had her name engraved on it, and she slid into it with ease. She finally pulled off her headphones, greeting the midnight-haired girl across from her.

Samira glanced up from her tablet, her lips forming a wide smile as she chewed her gum. "Sup Ki."

"Not much. You doing wedding work?" She asked as she watched Samira write on the device while looking at information on her phone.

She nodded. "I gotta get these bouquet choices to Momo later today. I also gotta show her these swatches of blue." She tapped on her tablet several times before lifting it to show the woman.

Kiara stared at the four squares on the screen. Each blue was the same hue, but the tints, shades, and undertones varied. Her lips pursed as she examined the options. "I, personally, like the first one," she said as she leaned back. "It's soft and kinda reminds me of winter. Like how the sky looks on a clear day."

Samira turned the device back to her, staring at the color while she nodded. "See, this is why it's always great to have an artist as a friend." Kiara rolled her eyes while Samira chuckled. "Speaking of, anything happening with that? Are you close to buying that house like the sugar mama you are?"

Kiara's jaw dropped before she lifted her leg to kick the girl under the table. Samira laughed loudly. "I'm not a sugar mama!"

"Is he helping you pay?"

"…No."

"Then you're a sugar mama." Samira was always so blunt, and that's why Kiara loved her. It wasn't always jokes, but she would always call the girl out when she was being dramatic or wrong.

"Anyway!" Kiara exclaimed. "I had a client dinner last night."

”Ooh, tea time." Samira locked her table and phone, giving the other her full attention. "Was he hot? Was he single? You had a little fun last night?" She asked as she wiggled her eyebrows. She leaned in, resting her elbows on the table while holding her face in her hands.

Kiara's face suddenly grew hot, and she reached up to involuntarily cover her neck with her hand. She had forgotten about the hickey Taehyung had left on her for a split second, hoping the hoodie would've covered it for her. "No!" She said quickly, hoping Samira didn't notice the red staining her cheeks. But she did, causing a smirk on her friend's lips. "He was that same asshat from the gallery."

"Oh." Her smirk quickly faded. She scrunched up her nose with disgust as her shoulders dropped.

"And turns out he wasn't just having a bad day. He was actually just a dick. He called me a coward, then selfish! All because I would rather separate my painter life from my regular life." Kiara pouted at the end of her sentence, leaning back into her chair. It was still a fresh wound, making her rethink every choice she had made thus far.

Samira scoffed. "He obviously doesn't know you. In fact, if you ever see him on the streets, let me know. I'll beat his ass."

Kiara's eyes widened as she quietly chuckled. "What is with you and Kookie being so violent?"

"Don't act like you're not the same. Just because you're in a little relationship that has you acting all prim and proper doesn't mean I don't know the real Kiara and how she used to beat ass because someone looked at me funny."

Kiara rolled her eyes. "I was younger back then and clearly had uncontrolled anger."

"Yeah, sure," Samira smiled while shaking her head. "Speaking of JK, when is he going up?"

Kiara shrugged as she grabbed her phone, looking at the time. "You know he never gives a time for these things." Suddenly, the coffee shop roared with cheers, grabbing the girl's attention. They looked towards a small stage along the shop's farthest wall. "Speak of the devil," she smirked as the tall man approached the stage. He wore a black T-shirt with a pair of dark denim jeans. There was a silver chain that hung from his belt loops. Sitting down at the piano on the stage, he tugged a stray strand of his midnight hair behind his ear. A microphone was attached to the instrument, angled perfectly so the person could speak.

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen," his smooth voice entered the mic and echoed through the establishment. Samira and Kiara locked eyes before covering their mouths to hide the giggles that quietly escaped. "This song is called 17, and I hope you enjoy it."

His fingers began to press on the white and black keys, combining the notes until they formed a beautiful melody.

"I would need a million words if I tried to define all the things you mean to me…." 

His voice was like laying on a cloud — soft and fluffy, wrapping around you like a warm embrace. Everyone in the store was mesmerized; even those who came in solely for a beverage stopped to listen for a few moments. They always left with a broad smile after. Jeongguk's voice has affected people ever since he was little. Kiara couldn't help but smile as she watched her best friend do what he loved. He shut his eyes as he sang, tuning out everything around him until nothing was left but notes. Kiara felt like a mother watching her child's first performance. 

She knew everyone in that room fell in love based on their reaction when Jeongguk sang his last note. It was overwhelmingly positive. The audience overfilled the tip jar near the bottom of the stage with bills and coins. Jeongguk stood up with a smile so wide on his lips that his eyes crinkled, smiling along with him. He bowed as the crowd cheered for him, leaning down to grab the tip jar before walking off the stage. Women who were bold enough stopped and flirted with him as he passed through the crowd. All Jeongguk did was laugh it off and politely turn them down, leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. He reached his usual table, dropping the jar onto the table with an obnoxious thud. He made the same sound as he dropped down in the seat next to Kiara, letting out a dramatic sigh.

The girls exchanged a look before watching as his eyes closed, breathing heavily. "God, it's so hard being wanted." The two burst into laughter as he grinned, opening his eyes to look at them. "So? What did you guys think?"

"Not my favorite song," Samira said with a smirk.

"It's a good thing I don't value your opinion," Jeongguk quipped before sticking his tongue out, causing her to mirror his reaction. After a moment, he turned his head to Kiara, waiting for her answer.

"You know I loved it Kookie." She smiled at him, making his heart skip a beat as heat rushed to his ears. She chuckled as she poked at his reddening skin with her finger, making his body scrunch up like a snail recoiling into their shell. "How long did it take to write this one?"

"Only a few weeks this time," he answered with a smile. His silver lip rings glimmered as he spoke.

Kiara's smile was still etched on her lips, leaning over to the man. The scent of fresh laundry with the faintest hint of cologne entered her nostrils as she cupped his jaw in her hand. She squeezed Jeongguk's cheeks until his pink lips puffed out, shaking his head from side to side a little. "Look at him, Sammie! Our little bunny boy is growing up so fast!" Jeongguk chuckled, trying to pull her hand away, but her grip was tight.

Samira grinned, reaching her hand out to join in the fun of playing with Jeongguk's face. Her hand replaced Kiara's as she pouted out her lips. "I know! We did such a good job raising our little bunny boy." She teased in a baby voice.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, pulling Samira's hand away from his face. "You know we're the same age, right?!"

The two girls glanced at each other before looking at the man. "And?" Kiara asked.

"Your point?" Samira added.

Jeongguk stared at them, shaking his head as he smiled. "You guys kill me." He reached into his tip jar, pulling out various bill amounts. "Y'all what something? It's on me."

The girls enthusiastically agreed before Jeongguk handed Kiara some money. She got their orders before standing up and walking towards the counter. She squeezed through the shoulders of random customers. Most waited for their drink orders, while others stayed for the atmosphere. Kiara hated crowded places like this. People had no respect for personal space or sense of how much space they took up. And because it's an establishment, she couldn't necessarily mow through people like she could on the streets. The crowd was less tight when she finally got closer to the counter. She sighed deeply, taking a single step before someone bumped right into her. She quickly felt something warm spreading from her chest to her abdomen, glancing down to see coffee all over her cream hoodie.

”What the fuck?!" She shrieked without taking a second to remember where she was. She reached for the napkins on the counter, frantically patting at her chest and torso.

"Oh my god, I'm so—" His eyes then met with the familiar golden skin Kiara possessed. He couldn't help the playful smirk that formed on his lips. "Well, doesn't karma have a funny way of working?" Jimin said, his words laced with smugness.

Kiara glared up at the blonde, huffing as she accepted defeat. Her hoodie was forever stained. "Eat ass, Park." His eyelids lowered at the girl. Why did his last name sound so unique, leaving her mouth wrapped in that annoyed tone? Maybe it was how she formed the noun—the light reflecting off lovely glossed lips as they parted to allow the syllable to roll off her tongue. It was intoxicating to watch. "You owe me a new shirt!"

His brows drew together as he tilted his head to the side. "Oh? If that's the case, I should send you my dry cleaning bill from last night."

"Fuck you, that was water!" She snapped at him. "And this is coffee! I'm never gonna get this out!"

His face remained unchanged despite receiving daggers from the girl. The most he did was shrug, causing her jaw to drop. "It wasn't that cute of a hoodie."

"What do you know about cute hoodies?!" She sounded a bit like a child, making the man chuckle softly.

"Enough to know yours isn't."

Kiara's eye twitched before she covered her face with her hands. She dragged them down her face, pulling gently at the skin as it relieved some of the building stress. She wanted to punch him in his nose. Or his mouth. Or anywhere on his body, in that case. He was such an asshole. The least he could've said was sorry. Maybe even offer to buy her a new hoodie. But no, even in moments where he was wrong, he still was an asshole through and through. "You are such a—"

"Woah, what the fuck happened?" She recognized Jeongguk's voice almost instantly. He stood beside her, staring at the massive stain on her shirt. Jimin eyed the new man, practically sizing him up despite the man being taller.

She inhaled deeply before sighing. "Nothing, nothing," she said as she shook her head. She wrapped her fingers around the man's tattooed bicep as she looked up at him. Eyes so big and round. Love, the blonde thought as he watched their interaction intently. How come she never looked at Jimin like that? But why did he want her to look at him like that? "Do you have a spare hoodie?"

The man looked down at her with the softest eyes, like she was the only person in the world to him. Jimin's brows furrowed again as he watched the warm smile form on Jeongguk's lips. "Yeah, of course."

She didn't need to say thank you; her eyes said more than enough. She then glanced towards Jimin, and for the second time, he witnessed that fondness instantly dissipating. Kiara's amber eyes were set ablaze once again. "Fuck you," she spat before Jeongguk led her away. They disappeared behind some door with a sign that read employees only. Jimin felt the same heavy feeling from before, sitting uncomfortably in his stomach. He didn't know why he wanted her to look at him with fondness so severely. She was annoying, a coward, a complete headache, and nowhere near his type. He chewed on his lower lip for a moment before rejoining the line.

"He's such a fucking jerk!" Kiara groaned as she followed behind Jeongguk to the break room area. "Who the fuck spills coffee on someone and doesn't even apologize?!"

He stopped in front of his locker and opened it, grabbing one of the two hoodies that were inside. When working at a cafe with clumsy newbies, spare clothing is more of a necessity than a suggestion. "Who the fuck was he?" He asked as he tossed her the hoodie, and she caught it.

"The same dickhead from last night," she grumbled. She pulled her hoodie over her head, leaving her standing in just a red bra with an intricate white lace pattern. Jeongguk's eyes widened briefly before quickly looking up at the ceiling. Heat flooded his ears and over his face, as he tried to forget the image he just saw. "Like, first of all, what are the odds?" Kiara continued to rant casually as if she wasn't half naked. She pulled Jeongguk's black clothing over her head, slipping into the three times too big fabric. "Second of all, he's lucky I didn't fucking deck him."

Jeongguk's eyes finally returned to the girl once she was clothed again. "Wait, what? The guy from last night?"

Kiara nodded as she picked up her dirty hoodie. When she looked towards Jeongguk, he was suddenly gone. Her eyes grew wide as she ran after him. "Kookie!" She yelled as he walked through the door. She returned to the central part of the cafe, seeing Jeongguk glance around with his brows furrowed. She grabbed him, but that didn't stop him from scanning the room. "You're on the clock!" She whispered.

All Jeongguk did was suck his teeth. "Man's lucky I like my job," he continued to look regardless, "and I can't find him."

Kiara rolled her eyes before patting his chest, "You need therapy."

"You need therapy," Jeongguk taunted quietly as Kiara joined the line again.

Kiara said goodbye to Jeongguk, watching him pull off on his motorcycle before walking inside her house. She sighed heavily upon entering, her energy drained from today's activities. After the coffee shop debacle, the three decided to hang out at Samira's house like old times. Little did Jeongguk and Kiara know that agreeing to hang out meant helping her with wedding planning. The woman was so passionate and dedicated to her job that it was something to admire, but only from afar. Her apartment was a wreck, littered with pictures and business cards. Kiara knew Samira's seriousness about her job, but since agreeing to be Momo's wedding planner, she has gone off her rocker. She ate, slept, breathed wedding details, and dragged the other two into it.

As she kicked off her sneakers, she could hear jazz music blasting from the kitchen. "Babe?" She called out as her feet led her amongst the familiar path.

Soon, Taehyung popped his head into the kitchen archway, causing a smile on Kiara's lips. "Darling! When did you get home? I'm just about done with dinner." His boxy grin made her heart skip a beat. She soon joined him in the kitchen while he resumed cooking. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she pressed her face into his back. She took a deep breath, inhaling his scent mixed with fresh laundry. Taehyung chuckled softly, "Long day?" Kiara nodded, moving along with him as he acted like she wasn't currently attached to him. "Wanna talk about it over dinner?" She nodded again, releasing him once he picked up the plates. 

They sat at their small dining room table, peacefully munching their food. Kiara looked up at Taehyung, who focused on his plate. That same warmth swamped her system. She felt so happy with him. She loved this small house they called home. She loved coming home after a long day to see his smiling face. She loved how comfortable she was with him. She glanced down at her left hand, eying her bare ring finger. If only this were enough for him.

"So?" Taehyung started with a mouth full of food. She filled him in on the events of last night and how they bled into today. Taehyung's features remained blank until the end, where he raised his eyebrows and shrugged a little. "I honestly wouldn't put that past him. He's a little snobby."

"There's a difference between being a little snobby and a complete dick. Like, do you think I'm selfish?" She asked as she placed her fork down.

He shrugged again. "You have your moments, but I don't think it's like what he's saying."

"Exactly! Everyone is a little selfish; it's just human. But he's making it seem like I wanna keep everything to myself on purpose." She folded her arms over her chest as she leaned into her chair.

Taehyung glanced at her, raising an eyebrow slightly. "Is that a new hoodie?" He stared at the dark fabric covering her body with a red skull and crossbones decal in the center.

"No, it's JK's. He gave it to me after Jimin practically dumped his coffee on me."

"JK's?" He repeated to himself, almost scoffing as he nodded his head.

Kiara watched his reaction closely—how his body suddenly tense up and the corner of his lips pushed downward. She rolled her eyes before shutting them as she leaned her head back into the chair. "Don't start."

"Don't start what?" He chuckled, absent of any joy. "I just find it funny that you come home in his hoodie. He drop you off too?"

"Yes, he did. And it's just a hoodie, Tae. I didn't want to walk around with a huge coffee stain on me, especially in public."

"Samira didn't have anything?"

"No?" She snapped a little, raising her head and opening her eyes to look at him. Taehyung's eyes narrowed at her. "Why would Samira carry around extra clothing?"

"But he did? Or did he peel his own shirt off to give to you?" He laughed, running his hands through his slightly curled locks. "Shit like this always seems to conveniently happen to you. You come home with a piece of JK on you; whether it's his clothing or his smell, you were wearing his boxer briefs once!"

"Oh my god," Kiara mumbled while pressing her fingers to her temple.

"What was that?" Taehyung suddenly raised his voice. Her eyes met his, and just as she opened her mouth to respond, he lifted his hand. He used the gesture to silence her, and it did just that. The words died on her tongue, abandoned sounds running around in her head. "You know, this is getting ridiculous. If I had a girl best friend doing all of this with me, you would've flipped your shit a long time ago."

"Taehyung," she tried her hardest to remain calm. It would've been over if she raised her voice or said something with a hint of sarcasm. "I have been friends with this man for years now. There is absolutely nothing between us."

He scoffed loudly, "That's a likely story." He stood up from the table and walked over to the living room. Kiara sighed as she got up, following after him. She noticed he grabbed his leather jacket and a white baseball cap. He put the hat on to hide his midnight hair.

"Where are you going?" She asked, but there was no response. She rolled her eyes. "Taehyung," she reached out to grab his hand, but he quickly pulled away. He glared at her over his shoulder, making her step back. 

She hated it when he looked at her like that. Like she was something vile, it made every insecurity she had crawl out of the depths of her brain and take center stage. Taehyung slid on some shoes, grabbed his keys, and walked out the front door, slamming it behind him. Her body jumped at the noise, tears stinging her eyes as she watched him pull out of the driveway from her window.

"Fuck," she sighed softly, turning to the table to grab her phone. She frantically clicked on Taehyung's contact, which was sent to voicemail each time. The tears filled to the brim before rolling down her cheeks silently. She used the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe away the waterworks, the hoodie that caused this whole mess. She never understood why he got like this and flipped a switch with ease. It was always over the tiniest things, too. She sat on the couch, chewing on her nails as she repeatedly called the man.

Taehyung was gone for hours, and by the time he returned home, he found Kiara passed out on the couch. She had replaced Jeongguk's black hoodie with one of Taehyung's grey ones instead. He carefully removed his jacket and shoes before walking to the sleeping girl and sitting in front of her. He gently wiped away her smudged mascara, causing her to scrunch her nose as she started to awake. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, and then her cheek. He gently persuaded her to wake up, her tired eyes finally fluttering open to meet his. There weren't any words exchanged between the two before he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was timid and soft. She followed his lead until she couldn't help but yearn for more of him.

The kiss guided Taehyung onto his knees, then to the couch with Kiara, where he found a place between her legs. Her hands ran up his arms, feeling his muscles subtly flexed underneath her touch. Within time, the kiss between the two grew heavier, his tongue gently appearing by grazing past her lip. She parted them just enough to let him in, their tongues gliding past each other as he pressed his hips into hers. Her hand traveled up to his head, where she swiftly pulled the cap off and tossed it to the ground. She ran her fingers through his soft hair, causing a soft moan to escape from his lips to hers.

He broke the kiss as his hand caressed her thigh. His lips found her neck, placing various kisses against her skin until her chest arched into his. And that's where he stayed, adding another bruise to her golden skin where the first one had barely healed. She moaned out for him, pressing her hips into his as she silently begged for more. He stuck his hand between their bodies, slipping his fingers underneath the fabric of her underwear. His middle finger found her clitoris with ease, gently circling it with the pad of his finger. Kiara tensed from his touch and then released. A chorus of moans parted from her throat as she tried to match the circling of her hips to his finger. 

After being satisfied with the bruise on her neck, he crashed his lips into hers again. Her hips bucked against his finger, making his cock throb in his sweatpants. He couldn't wait much longer, breaking the kiss once again. He pulled his hand out of her panties before swiftly sliding them down her legs. He didn't bother with taking his pants off, only pulling them down enough for his member to spring free. He aligned himself with her entrance, sliding his tip in between her lips to lube himself up before pushing forward. She sucked in through her teeth, her brows furrowing as she tried to get accommodated to his length. It stung a little, but Taehyung continued, slowly pulling his hips back and then forward again. As soon as Kiara's face relaxed, he increased his pace.

Her eyes shut as she moaned out for him, gripping his arm tightly as he stretched out her walls. He worked her into the couch, skin slapping together as he fell into a rhythm. He leaned forward, resting his temple against hers as he panted and groaned into her ear. She whined, her hands traveling to his back where nails dug into his skin through the fabric. The power of his hips increased, his tip pressing into her cervix until he suddenly bottomed out and stopped. She could feel him throbbing before he pulled out of her. There was a cool breeze on her lower region as he got up, pulling his pants back onto his waist. He sat down beside her, panting as he used the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow. She felt uncomfortably wet, scared to move in fear of pushing Taehyung's seed out and onto the fabric of the couch.

"I'm going to bed," he said before getting up. He walked towards the bedroom before disappearing from her line of sight.

Kiara's eyes were wide with shock, and she scoffed quietly as she carefully pushed herself off the couch. She grabbed her underwear off the floor and shuffled to the bathroom, where she cleaned herself up. She couldn't understand how, even after that, he could still be cold to her. What was the point if he was still upset? After her shower, she walked into the room and crawled into the space next to him, feeling more alone than before.

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[agaypanic]

slow burns are fun until you’re the one writing it.. like wdym i can’t make them kiss yet ???

[apollobar]

Everything That Is Left

Summary: Lucy Chen and her friends join what was meant to be a dream vacation across the Pacific Ocean, aboard a small cruise ship. But when a devastating storm strikes, turning their journey into a fight for survival, Lucy finds herself stranded on a deserted island with her companions. As they struggle to endure and await rescue, tensions rise and bonds are tested. Amidst the challenges, a budding romance has begun to unravel between Lucy and Tim, her old mentor turned fellow survivor, casting a fragile ray of hope amidst the uncertainty. Yet, as they all navigate the challenges of island life, dark secrets emerge, threatening to unravel the fragile bonds holding them together. With each passing day, the survivors must confront not only the mysteries of the island but also the depths of their own resilience and the intricacies of their relationships. Will they find a way to overcome the odds and make it out alive, or will the island's mysteries consume them all?

Chapter 1 of ?

CHAPTER 1: Travellers from Beyond the Shore

Unable to face the screams, Lucy Chen looks out at the ocean. It’s hypnotic, the way the water laps upon the shore. Swallowing up the beach and then spitting it back out, leaving behind sand dollars and bits of rock to litter the ground. Every cry or shout of her name is muffled as she stands there. The sand pulls mindlessly against her feet like thousands of tiny magnets, whispering for her to be engulfed along with them. But the temptation is briefly silenced when a sudden spark of green catches her attention. An object splashing amongst the recent waves, tumbling across the beach until finally resting against her bare foot. The search for her left shoe lost and momentarily forgotten.

All jagged edges and rough cuts have been erased from the fragment along with any sign of what it once was. Now replaced with rounded curves and polished sides that Lucy imagines must be smooth to the touch. She remembers learning of sea glass long ago, reading about it in an elementary science class. Her textbook had explained about the effects of weathering and erosion; how shards of broken bottles, plates, or jars are worn down overtime. The tides push and pull while carrying it miles away. A journey, Lucy vaguely recalls, takes years for glass to become as opaque as the pebble that now lays at her feet. She lifts her head and looks beyond the bank, beyond the smoothed glass and the chorus of waves crashing against each other.

Her eyes fall on the horizon, where the sky touches the expanding sea and she scans the line searching for a clue to the sea glass’ origins. How long has it been away from home? She wonders. She waits for a response but a silent ocean taunts her, holding tightly to its secrets. The deceptive peace and the absence of everything that she and the glass have been through pulls at her insides, twisting and tearing until she can no longer hold herself up. Lucy drops to her hands and knees, and she can feel the contents of her stomach threatening to spill out. Sand digs into her skin as she grips it. Needing something to hold onto and give her balance while she fights to keep what little she has left inside. But as she claws the beach, her lifeline escapes through her fingers. Flowing back to the shore and with nothing left to keep her steady, the remaining contents of her stomach eventually follow.

When there is nothing left to give up, she rolls onto her side, unable to bring herself to stand.

At least not right now. 

 The warm sand, baked from the afternoon sun, is inviting enough to convince her to lay down for a few moments longer. The emerald shard of glass now sits a few inches from her face and without thinking she reaches out and takes it. Lucy squeezes her hand shut, all the danger of broken glass long since worn away and with the pad of her thumb she outlines the bumps and divots of the stone over and over again as if running her fingers along a piece of die. 

The voice beyond is beginning to get louder now, he will find her any minute now but she’s not ready to face it. Just give me a few moments more, she pleads to herself. Her eyes fix back onto the task in front of her. Fingers, sticky with sand, occasionally grind against the stone as she moves it around in her palm. An action that emits a crunching sound similar to that of stepping onto gravel. The noise is quiet but distraction enough to pull her focus back in.

Lucy can’t help but feel a connection to the poor glass. Both of them in an indescribable distance away from home, forever changed by a journey they never asked for, but swept into nonetheless. She clenches her fist, pulling it protectively against her chest. Memories of home call upon an ache that has settled itself within her heart, and Lucy is unsure of how long it has been there. The pain conjuring up thoughts of how long it will be until she can go back home-if she can at all? Or will she become more like the traveler in her palm, destined never to return? The hot sand, the advancing desperate shouts, and smell of saline begin to overwhelm her. In an attempt to push out the world, she squeezes her eyes shut. However, the pulse of the beach is no longer loud enough to drown out her environment and a familiar voice has finally reached her.

“Chen! Where have you been? My god, what happened?” 

There is a sternness and sincerity to his tone that only he can bring and she doesn’t need to open her eyes to recognize who it is. So when his hands tentatively touch her shoulders, warm and solid, she doesn’t flinch. She knows it’s Tim. Her teacher, her friend, and now fellow survivor.

 She opens her eyes as she lets him pull her up into a sitting position, his own scanning her for signs of new injuries. It’s only when he finds none does his concern fall to annoyance. 

“We have been calling your name for ten minutes, boot. You know better than to just go off on your own and start ignoring everyone. After everything that has happened..” His voice falters and he fights to get it back under control of it, taking in a short breath and twisting chapped lips. Tim’s habit and pathological need to remain in control is so soaked in normalcy that Lucy can’t help but laugh at it. At the sheer ridiculousness of it all. 

“This isn’t funny.” He tells her, taken aback at the absurdity of her reaction.

“I’m sorry,” she chokes out while lifting her head towards the sky in disbelief, “You’re right, I know. It’s not funny. None of this is funny.” The insincere fit of laughter trickles away with her last few words and flows seamlessly into tears. After the intensity of the last few days, the nights adrift at sea and the morning’s fleeting relief of finding land, Lucy had not let herself grieve. Not allowed the reality of their situation sink in. 

Tim is quick to pull her into his arms, sheltering her from the wind and bringing a comfort only an old friend could provide, his initial annoyance now dissipated. The intimacy of the touch is uncommon and foreign between them, but Lucy allows herself to welcome the reassurance it unexpectedly brings. She tucks her head under his chin while hot streams glide down her cheeks. Lucy knows this situation has taken so much from them both, from them all, and will continue to ask more of them as the days go on, but she is grateful for his patience at this moment. A moment that is needed. A moment that has been earned.

 When her breathing falls back to even strides, she attempts to peel herself away, afraid of overstaying her welcome. But Tim’s arms tighten without a word and Lucy suspects that he needs a moment as well. So she gives it to him, instead taking the time to really look at his appearance for the first time.

Much like Lucy, Tim’s clothes are dirty and torn with fresh purple bruises staining his exposed arms. Red blotches have soaked into his shirt, and those thick pieces of cloth that stick to his torso like glue have now transferred onto her own shirt. She lingers for a moment on the rubber, yellow band around his wrist at her side. The same one they all eagerly put on a few days ago, now smudged with dirt and blood. Evidence of a vacation gone wrong. 

She braves a look at his face and his eyes catch hers, exhaustion and worry hidden within the lines tucked around his mouth and the creases between his brows. With their experience of being police officers, and Tim’s added time in the military, they’ve both been through traumatic events before, trained to handle the most stressful of situations. However, the LAPD doesn’t hold many courses on shipwrecks, and Lucy can’t recall ever receiving a Tim Test on what to do in the case of being stranded on a deserted island. They are in unfamiliar territory, and no amount of training fully prepared them for a situation like this. Rookies again.

Finally, as a silence begins to nestle between them, Tim pulls away and Lucy watches him debate on what he should say next. He shifts around a bit, growing uncomfortable in the quiet and from the kneeling position he had taken earlier. She imagines what he could be thinking, knowing “Are you okay?” must feel like too lame of a question and“Get up, let’s get moving” while more in line with Tim's usual rough demeanor, perhaps too harsh even for him in this present moment. He is the first one to break eye contact as he finally stands, stretching his legs. The silent debate in his mind seemingly over and won.

“What are you doing out here?” He asks finally, his question soft and low. For a second, she’s taken aback by the unusual gentleness he continues to show her. But when she feels some of the heaviness in her shoulders release, slightly, but as if lifted up by a balloon, she is thankful for his tenderness. Lucy looks down at her feet. A single brown boot on one foot, and she wriggles the uncovered toes of the other drawing his attention.

“My shoe.” She responds, and Tim raises an eyebrow. “I just wanted to find my shoe.” 

“After the rescue boat shows up, I’ll take you to buy a new pair, hell about twenty?” He proposes and it’s his turn to smile. It's small but there, and Lucy can’t help but feel the infectious pull of it.

“You are going to take me?” She teases and Tim scoffs.

“Why is that so shocking? I’m probably not as good as Angela, but I know my way around a shoe store.” He jokes and it is enough to bring a genuine grin out of her. 

Seizing the moment, Tim stretches out an arm and Lucy takes it, accepting his offer to help her to her feet. As she rises, the island beneath her sways and the clouds spin causing her to stumble. Tim is quick, as he often is, and steadies her by grabbing her elbow. Keeping her upright as he waits for her world to stop spinning. 

“Thank you.” She tells him, after a breath, and they both know that her words are meant for more than just this moment. 

There’s a pause before Tim says, “Rescue is going to come.” His voice is sure and absent of any doubt and Lucy notices the hand still cradling her elbow. 

“I know,” she whispers. And she does. Lucy has always been clever, and the logical part of her knows that Tim Bradford is right. With the advancement of modern technology, the likelihood of rescue boats arriving any minute now is high and there is no need for panic. So when Tim suggests they go back to the group and wait for help, she doesn’t argue. However, as he guides her back to their friends and fellow survivors, to their humble beginnings of a campsite not meant to last, the ache in her chest tightens. And the weight of the seaglass, still secure in the palm of her hand, grows heavier than ever.

Thank you for reading! You can also find this story via my AO3 account @apollobar.

[ghvstlylovez]

been working on a longer 4ggravate fic for a while which i hope to start posting by the end of February/early March??

so here’s one of my favorite scenes ive written for it so far!

[bloomingdarkgarden]

What Bloomed in the Darkgarden

ACOTAR Fanfiction by ehoney on AO3

Elain is not the wilting rose everyone believes her to be.

A year after that fateful Solstice night, Azriel and Elain begin to reforge what they lost- despite the countless obstacles keeping them apart. At the same time, Elain’s abilities begin to manifest in the form of earth magic, and she decides to train under the Oracle of the Day Court to master her visions as a Seer.

And so, perhaps a little more softly, a little more lethally, the third Archeron sister begins her own path. For there’s something beginning to bloom- something darker, softer, and wilder than she can name, within the boundaries of her soul.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Young American - Part 6**

Part 6!!!! Eeeeek! Just tension building and the first smut! Also, Harry continues to be a huge sap 🥰

WC: 6.6K

Series Masterlist

“I’ll be your good girl.” 

Y/N’s delicate whisper was playing in a loop in Harry’s brain and making him feel like he was internally combusting; he was frozen for a few seconds as he processed her words. He had a need to please. It was more than making up for the past, it was just his style of loving on someone. He wasn’t able to fully unleash this side of himself with every partner he had, but he was really interested in getting there with Y/N - if she’d let him of course. He wanted to get to know her inside and out, physically and mentally, he felt that he already knew her emotionally. She herself was a giver, a caretaker, an empath - people like that are often the most neglected ones and he wanted to make sure that she never felt neglected again in her life. His hands tightened around her hips as his body caught up with his mind and he smiled and as she planted a kiss on his jaw. Then another and another until she had reached his chin and then she smiled timidly and looked up at him through her lashes, not kissing his lips yet.

“You mean that?” He asked quietly and she nodded, “Alright, baby.” He smiled and then leaned down to peck her lips quickly before stepping back a bit to bend down to the little drawers under the station to grab a second skin patch for his tattoo.

Y/N was confused, she was preparing for him to do something about the sticky mess in her panties, or at least ask her to take care of his hard on, but he didn’t. Maybe she had read him wrong, she could’ve sworn that he was a dominant type and that given the chance he would take what was his, but it seemed that he was a gentle giant. Maybe she needed to take charge if she wanted more from him.

“Wanna help me?” He asked with a chuckle and her eyebrows shot up as she bit her bottom lip and nodded.

“Right, yeah of course!” She responded and got off of the counter and lathered on some hand sanitizer before opening up the patch and covering his fresh ink. She smiled up at him, “Good to go.” She said softly and he just looked at her for a moment. 

“You like taking care of people, huh?” He asked and she shrugged.

“I guess so.” She smiled as she straightened up.

“It makes you feel good about yourself?” He asked and she creased her eyebrows in a little bit.

“I mean yeah, but that’s not why I do it. I guess you just never know who gets that sort of treatment regularly and who doesn’t. So if they have to deal with me I’m sure as hell going to make sure they feel good around me, you know?” He nodded and smiled.

“Do you feel like people care about you the same way you care about them?” He asked and she smiled a little sadly.

“Most of the time they don’t. But it doesn’t bother me, that’s expected, most people are takers.” She said with a casual shrug and he hummed. He maybe appeared to be a taker but he was a giver, if she only knew how much he was willing to give. How much of himself he had given before and like she said, been taken advantage of because of what he was willing to give. He gave subtly and discretely in ways that weren’t all that noticeable to begin with but as they spent more time together she would soon realize that she was being well taken care of emotionally, mentally, physically and well, sexually too. That would be the most obvious way for her to know if she wanted that with him.

“That they are.” He agreed and smiled at her, “Thank you again for my tattoo. I’m quite literally obsessed with it.” He hummed and she was beaming with pride.

“Send me that picture so I can post it.” She insisted and he nodded.

“Right!” He chuckled and went and did just that before they started cleaning up while making some small talk. 

Finally they were heading out towards the back exit and as the heavy metal door shut behind them she gave it a tug to ensure it was locked properly and with she turned towards him. He could feel her expectation radiating off of her, it made him want to grin teasingly. He was keen on feeling her perfectly soft and plush lips melting against his own too, but he liked to wait; to rile himself up until he couldn’t handle it anymore. Him playing nice and going above and beyond to get her to give him another chance was wonderful for him, he wanted her approval and he felt over the moon knowing that he had successfully made her happy with him again. 

Y/N was shy though and he could sense her impatience, but he wanted to know if she’d be the type to ask for what she wanted or just suffer in silence until he decided to kiss her again, whether that be ten seconds or ten days from now. He needed to know what he was working with to be able to fully gain her trust in this respect, after all that’s what any good pleasure dom does - gains his submissive’s complete and unequivocal trust first and foremost. It was just a few seconds of silence as they looked at each other, he knew she wasn’t good with silence, she had said so at the halloween party. It couldn’t have been more than five seconds before her eyes blinked away from his with a timid smile and he sighed a small laugh.

“Sorry, eye contact is hard for me.” She confessed and that just wouldn’t do. 

“Why?” He asked gently and she bit her lip before looking up at him again.

“I feel…exposed, I guess? Like people can read my mind and my thoughts.” She explained.

“You know, before we were…cool,” he said and she nodded, “I would get one look at your eyes and know when I’d hurt your feelings or peeved you off or enraged you.” He said.

“And you didn’t care?” She asked with a little bit of hurt laced into her tone and he sighed.

“Of course I did. I’ve always felt bad about it, I just talked myself out of feeling bad.” He admitted, “But I tell you this because it was absolutely mind boggling to me how despite all of the storms quite noticeably brewing inside of you, you held yourself together. Yeah, your eyes showed everything, you were vulnerable and I’d often be prepared to react a certain way and you’d do the opposite of what I thought. So even if you feel exposed, the mental process you go through completely changes everything so you’re…actually quite safe and hard to read. But moreover, it’s admirable, I’ve never met anyone who has so much emotional self-regulation.” He chuckled and she giggled.

“Yeah, mastering that skill has taken a lifetime.” She sighed.

“You don’t have to do that with me, you know? I can handle whatever you throw at me. Believe me.” He said and she chuckled.

“Mmmm, I don’t know about that, H.” She said and he grinned at her, “What?”

“You called me, H.” He said with a smile.

“Oh! I’ve heard Auree calling you that and it just slipped out I guess.” She said bashfully, “Sorry.”

“No, it’s OK. Most of my family and friends call me that. You can too if you want.” He assured her and she smiled.

“OK.” She hummed happily, “Well we should probably go, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said as she started walking back towards her car.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He confirmed with a smile and with that she twirled on her heels and walked off to her car. 

Harry had every intent of kissing her again, so he was careful to be quiet as he trailed after her to the back end of the parking lot and right as she got to her door he reached for her waist and turned her around as she gasped.

“Jesus, Harry!” She reprimanded and he smirked as he pressed her against the car.

“Sorry, love, I just had one more question for you.” He informed and she nodded, urging him to go on, “Can I kiss you again? Just one more time before we go.” He said more quietly and she immediately bit her lip as she looked up at him and nodded, “Yeah?” He asked again, breathily, as he leaned down, the tip of his nose skimmed along the length of hers.

“Yes. Please.” She whimpered and he hummed.

“Please?” He asked with a smirk and she looked away bashfully, “No, don’t be embarrassed, love. You have such good manners, I really like that.” He assured as he angled her face back up towards his, “Did say you’re a good girl. My good girl. Right?” He asked and she sighed with a little pout.

“Don’t make fun.”

“I’m not making fun.” He assured her as he inched closer to her mouth, “I like that you wanna be good for me.” He mumbled into the minuscule space between them. She was so patient, much like him. Their lips brushed gently but she made no move to press her mouth further against his, “And you are, Y/N. You’re so good for me. Know you’re itching for me to kiss you, but you’re so patient and respectful, waiting for me do it.” He crooned and she was feeling like putty, the anticipation was killing her, “How long are you willing to wait?” He asked.

“As long as you tell me.” She responded quietly and he grinned. Fuck, she was perfect, the things he could do to her if she decided to delve into his games with him.

“That’s a good girl.” He praised and she bit down on her lip at the sound of it, “Kiss me.” He instructed, voice quiet, yet commanding. He felt her tip-toe to reach his mouth better and she started leaning in and right as their lips grazed he pulled back with a smirk and she looked at his eyes with disappointment, “Kiss me.” He insisted again and she sighed and went back in, her lips puckered out to meet his and he once again pulled out of her reach as she creased her eyebrows in frustration, this made him grin even more, “Come on, kiss me.” He said again and her desperate eyes met his own before she leaned in again and he smirked as he pulled back again.

“Harry.” She pouted though an exhale of exasperation.

“What is it, love?” He asked teasingly with a smile as he rubbed the tips of their noses together playfully.

“You’re teasing too much.” She huffed. Oh, she hadn’t seen the half of it, “Been listening to you and doing everything you say. Just want to taste your lips again.” She sighed and he bit his lip as his eyes met hers and without any further warning he grabbed a hold of her face and went in for another kiss- tongue first.

Y/N moaned as their eager mouths met desperately. She just held her lips open for him as his tongue rolled deliciously against her own. It made her insides feel like mush and for her chest to tighten at the distinguishable feeling. They both hummed and moaned into their kiss, it was one of those kisses that started making you think about how much more you wanted. He started to slow it down until they were leisurely smearing their lips together until he pulled away and sighed as his forehead rested against her own.

“What time is it?” He asked and she grabbed her phone from her pocket and giggled showing him that it was nearly 11 at night, “Jesus, been snogging you for nearly twenty minutes and it only felt like two.” He hummed and she grinned.

“It’s too easy to get carried away with it.” She agreed and he nodded with a hum.

“Alright, love, let’s get you in your car.” He said and she giggled and pulled her door open and settled in as he stood there, “See you in the morning, OK?” 

“See you.” She smiled before he shut her door and she started her car. He then hurried over to his and after a few moments they both went their separate ways.

*************

On his way home Harry could not stop smiling. He was so fucking happy that he had finally got to feel Y/N’s lips against his own. He got home and it still felt like he was in a dream of sorts, he was just going through the motions of getting ready for bed and when he finally settled into his mattress (he still hadn’t built his bed frame) he just tucked his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling just thinking about her. About the sweet, young, American apprentice who finessed her way into his heart with her kind, caring, and compassionate way of being. He must admit that even in her irritated state he liked her. He liked how alive she could make him feel. Without even giving it a second thought he reached for his phone and dialed her number, it rang a couple of times before it stopped and his entire body just froze for a second, waiting impatiently to hear her voice. He hadn’t felt this way about anyone in…a long, long while. He started to remember her, a dark cloud started to cloud his mind and then Y/N’s sweet voice swept in at the last seconds, breaking all of the darkness with her light.

“Hello?” She nearly whispered into the receiver and he smiled again. It made him feel like they were beside each other and speaking quietly into the night. He adored the sweet timbre of her voice.

“I can’t stop thinking about us kissing.” He confessed quietly, though there was a suspenseful air of trepidation to his vulnerable confession. He felt his chest tighten with the feeling of anxiety for being so open about it as he awaited her response. For a second he even felt regretful of calling her at this hour and saying anything at all.

“I can’t either.” She whispered back and he could hear the smile in her voice. He felt a sense of relief wash over him as his muscles relaxed at her confirmation of feeling the same way about their kisses as him. 

“I can’t wait to do it again.” He flirted with a smirk. He could just picture her looking away bashfully with warm cheeks. And she certainly was blushing, but she was nuzzling into the pillow beside her and as she inhaled to get a whiff of his cologne. It was probably from the night he stayed over. She really needed to wash it but it was comforting for her, so she had just neglected that one a bit.

“My pillow still smells like your cologne.” She informed him, changing the subject a bit and he smiled upon hearing that. 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” He inquired and she grinned.

“Not a bad thing at all. Your cologne smells really good.” She admitted and he hummed.

“I’m glad you like it.” He smiled, “Hey tomorrow, do you want to come over and help me build a few more things?” He asked and she smiled.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Cool. We can have dinner and watch a film or something?” He asked and she hummed, “Make out a little bit…” he added in and she giggled. He was a huge sap, which was not at all what she was expecting, but surprisingly she was enjoying it. All her life she was competing with others to get someone’s attention, even while together with them! Harry already gave her his undivided attention and she hadn’t really done anything except be nice to him. She liked knowing without a doubt that he was interested in her.

“Make out a lot?” She asked back with a smile and he chuckled.

“Yeah love, whatever you want.” He assured and that made her smile.

  “Ooh, what do you think we should get for dinner? Or are we cooking?” She asked and Harry chuckled.

“Are you hungry?” He asked and she giggled.

“Yeah, actually I kind of am.” She responded and he hummed.

“What are your aunt’s rules regarding late night deliveries?” He mused and she grinned.

“As long as they don’t disturb her sleep she doesn’t care.” She informed, “but don’t worry about it. There’s a Taco Bell around the corner, I can just go real quick.” She said and he tutted.

“Not at this hour, all alone. There are so many creeps out here.” He said and she giggled.

“Very gallant of you, but it’s OK, I promise.” She assured, “Do this at least twice a week.” She confessed and he chuckled and she giggled along with him.

“Of course you do.” He sighed with amusement and she bit her lip.

“But if you want to come over anyway…” she slipped in as their laughter died down and Harry’s mind fogged up without a rational thought within reach at her invitation. It was nearly 12:30… that’s not too late, right? He asked himself.

“Do you want me to?” He asked and she bit her lip as her tummy turned with excitement.

“Yeah.” She said back, “Impromptu sleep over!” She beamed and he hummed.

“OK, send me the address again and I’ll text you when I’m outside.”

“M’kay. Maybe bring your stuff for tomorrow so that you’re not rushing to get home early.” She said.

“Good thinking. And wait for me before going to bloody Taco Bell.” He said and she giggled quietly.

“OK.”

“Alright, see you in a bit.” He said before hanging up. Harry gathered up his things and drove out to her place like a bat out of hell.

Y/N on the other hand wasn’t even hungry anymore, just anxious to see him before her. She really didn’t want to wait until the shop to see him again. To feel his warmth radiating against her, to feel his lips puckering against her own, to hear his voice and his warm puffs of air against her skin. She got up and made her way to the kitchen and as she dug around quietly she opted for a few strawberries to satiate the hunger she felt. She then hurried to brush her teeth and laid in bed awaiting Harry’s text. It came about 10 minutes later and she hurried to the front door, opening it quietly and signaling him over. After a few moments he walked up with a large tote bag draped over his shoulder and a big smile.

“I found something to eat here.” She explained and he hummed as she let him inside and locked up quietly. When she turned around to guide him towards her bedroom he was just a few steps behind her and he leaned down to connect their lips in a quick kiss and she hummed with a smile.

“Sorry, couldn’t wait.” He whispered as he pulled back and she smiled.

“C’mon.” She said, blindly finding his hand and leading him back to her room. 

She closed the door behind them, gently pressing it back until it fully shut. Harry was setting his tote down at bench at the end of the bed. He slipped off the jacket he was in so that he was just in his t-shirt and shorts and sat on the edge of her bed and slipped his shoes off. He was just so effortlessly good looking, it was mind boggling. She then came up to him and he opened his legs to let her stand in between them and he hummed delightfully and his eyes closed for a moment as her fingers raked his curls back. When she reached the back of his head she let her fingers massage his scalp and he moaned, letting his head roll back and she smiled. Harry’s whole body was covered in goosebumps at the massage she was giving him. She slowly started coming to a stop and she titled his face up towards hers with a smile. He still felt tingly from the feelings of her fingers in his hair and he was smiling up at her dopily.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” She confessed with a smile and he chuckled softly.

“I can’t even remember the last time someone did that to me.” He responded. His voice now sounded hoarse and deeper than before and it made her buzz, “When I was a kid my mum used to do that to help me fall asleep. I was the worst at going to bed.” He said and she smiled at his reminiscing, “She would always make me chamomile tea with honey before bed to try and get me drowsy, think she maybe put Benadryl in it sometimes.” He said and Y/N giggled, throwing her head back like she did when she laughed and he bit his lip as he watched her.

“What?” She asked with a smile as she looked at him again and he shook his head bashfully, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“I really like it when you laugh.” He said as he brought his hands to the backs of her thighs, rubbing tenderly, “I like it when you look so happy like tha’.” He said and she bit her lip, the thumping of her heart was surely palpable through her chest. God, she couldn’t even imagine where she’d be today if he had been this way from the start. She had to remind herself that she couldn’t just plop into his lap like she so desperately wanted to, “What’re you pouting about, love?” He asked her with concern. She hadn’t even realized she was pouting.

“Oh nothing, I was just thinking about how I couldn’t just sit on your lap.” 

“Oh, right.” He recalled, he was so fucking happy to be with her he had even forgotten the slight burn of his fresh tattoo, “Well lets get in the bed then, yeah?” She nodded and they soon settled in, facing each other. The light from the moon was casting enough of a dim light to allow their eyes to adjust a bit and be able to see each other. Harry reached for her hip and draped his hand over it and she swears he was smirking as he let his hand slide a bit lower so that his fingers were resting on her butt and she squirmed as he gently pinched at it before he laughed softly.

“Stop it, you lecher!” She giggled and he shook his head.

“Don’t think I will.” He said and she rolled her eyes, “Don’t roll your eyes at me.” He whispered and she did it again, “Such a brat.” He huffed and she smiled. He brought his hand up from her side let his fingers trace over her lips, “Even still, gonna kiss you good night.” He whispered and she smiled. 

She pressed a quick kiss to the fingers tracing her lips and he smiled at her sweet action. He was just about to pull them away and lean in, but then she slightly parted her lips and let her tongue tickle against his digits and he bit his lip as he felt a lump forming in his throat. He ran his fingers down a bit so that the tips pressed down her bottom lip and then he let it wobble back into place. Her needy eyes met his and he swallowed down the lump in his throat as he let his index and middle fingers trace along her bottom lip a few times, she lightly poked her warm and wet tongue against his finger tips and his heart started pounding and all of the blood in his body started rushing down to his groin. He barely pushed his fingers past her lips, he felt them skim over her bottom row of teeth and his darkened eyes met hers as he pushed them in further. They were both breathing so heavily and as she felt them rub against her tongue lightly she just couldn’t help it anymore and opened up wider and leaned in so that his fingers were fully in her mouth. She squeezed her lips together and sucked.

“Fuck.” Harry sighed breathily at the smooth texture of her hot tongue against the pads of his fingers. Her mouth was warm and wet and it made him think about other parts of her that were warmer and wetter for him. He started to pump his fingers in and out of her mouth slowly and she moaned around them, “You’re so good with your mouth, love.” She moaned at the compliment and he groaned as his cock started to throb and he pushed his fingers in deeper and he felt how she relaxed her jaw and throat to let him sink his fingers into the very back of her mouth, “Oh fuck, love.” He sighed desperately and he didn’t even process it as her hand lifted his shirt and bunched it up near his chest and her other hand then came between them and started to rub over his erection, “Baby-” he gasped and she moaned and sucked his fingers with more fervor.

Harry liked to edge himself. He thought of himself as a pleasure dom, his pleasure always came from bringing his partner as much pleasure as possible. Not that he never got to experience the pleasure, but typically he reserved coming for when he had sex. He would get himself off when he didn’t have a partner, but he would edge himself for days or until he just couldn’t handle it anymore and needed to bust a big load. It had been nearly a week since the last time he got himself off and just feeling her hot, little mouth on his fingers was doing enough to work him up. He needed her to stop before he came. 

“Shit!” He moaned as the pad of her thumb found the very leaky tip of his cock and she did nothing but rub over it and smear the mess of his precum over it until his breath was hitching, “Baby, baby, baby, stop! You’re gonna make me come!” He warned breathily and she moaned again and didn’t stop. He tried to pull his fingers out of her mouth to bring his hand down to stop her, but she bit down on them lightly and he moaned. He couldn’t help it as his hips bucked up towards her touch and his abs started to tense and his breath to hitch. His tip was so sensitive, he could feel his precum leaking and wetting the lower parts of his tummy, “Oh fuck…fuuuuck…” he moaned as his cum started to erupt from his red and throbbing tip. She moaned as she felt it oozing out and released his fingers from her mouth as he rolled onto his back, attempting to catch his breath. She leaned over and kissed his lips quickly before lowering herself, “W-wha’re you doing?” He whispered in shock..

“Cleaning your mess.” She mumbled as she planted a kiss over his butterfly tattoo and then rolled her tongue out to lick up the sperm that had spurted out onto his skin.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N…” he whispered almost as if in pain as she quickly licked over the tip of his cock and up his happy trail, leaving his body stiff as a board, awaiting her next move. But he felt her warmth pull away and then he felt her settled back into the pillows. He opened his heavy eyes and turned to her and she just gave him a small smile, “You’re…wild.” He said through a sigh and smile and she giggled quietly. 

“I get carried away easily.” She admitted with a soft tone and he smiled. She felt a little embarrassed now as he just smiled at her, they had only kissed for the first time a few hours ago and she had just made him come and licked the cum off of him. She was about to apologize when he bit his lip.

“Y/N, kiss me.” He commanded, “Lemme taste myself on your tongue.” He whispered hotly and she practically turned to mush as he said those words and she surged forward as they started to make out. She moaned as he gently sucked on her tongue, moaning at the slightly salty taste of his cum mixed with the taste of her own mouth. “Let me make you come.” He whispered after their lips parted with a gasp.

“Ummm, it’s OK…it’s ummm, kind of hard for me t-to come with a partner.” She admitted timidly and he furrowed his brows, “OK,  actually I’ve never come by someone else.” She rushed out and he looked offended. 

She just always felt like there were elements missing with partners. She felt that everything was so mechanical; the build up was hot and she would get aroused, but she never orgasmed. She’d had sore labia and a throbbing clit a lot from the lack of orgasms. When she’d get off though she’d let her mind wander to her fantasies, or sometimes she’d listen to something spicy and get off that way. But the point was that she had a hard time with partners. She didn’t know why but that’s the way it was, which was why she got so carried away when she’d made someone else come, it was the ultimate tease, giving someone something she’d never get back. She was snapped out of her rapid thoughts as Harry kissed her pouted lips.

“How about you let me give it a try?” He asked and she bit her lip, “It won’t be anything crazy, just gonna use my fingers.” He said. His fingers? She thought to herself. Just from hearing that she was mentally preparing for the disappointment and consolation speech she would give him when he didn’t make her come. She wouldn’t bother faking it with him, she felt that he was too smart for that.

“Yeah, OK.” She smiled nervously and he hummed and pushed her to lie on her back and he straddled her hips. He bent his arms to lower himself and to be able to kiss her and after a few seconds he parted from her mouth.

“If you don’t like something just let me know, OK? Or if you want me to stop just tell me to stop. OK?” He informed her and she nodded and he shook his head, “Mm-mmm,” he expressed his disapproval, “Want your words, love.” He said quietly and she swallowed thickly upon hearing that.

“OK.” She whispered, her chest already felt tight with nerves. No one had ever said that to her before. Now she wasn’t sure what to expect. His eyes met hers and despite the tender look he continued to give her there was something else hidden in his eyes. She wasn’t sure but when he spoke his next words she knew that something between them had shifted.

“That’s my good girl.” He said lowly. His eyes scanned over her face slowly and as he looked at her lips he wet his own with his tongue before sinking his top teeth into his fuller bottom lip and then it slipped from below it as his lips quirked up to the left in a boyish, teasing grin. His dimple carved deep into his cheek, it was adorable, but she knew that the cause of his grin was anything but adorable.

“What is it?” She asked timidly.

“I still can’t believe you licked up my cum.” He whispered and she felt herself blush and rolled her lips together to suppress her nervous laugh, “It was fucking hot.” His tone changed, but he was still smirking down at her, “Tastes alright, right?” He asked.

“Yeah. I liked it.” She confessed bashfully and he bit his lip again as he looked over her face once more before he knelt up to look down at the rest of her body. She watched as he ogled her; she was so turned on that her nipples were definitely straining against her old, thinned out baggy t-shirt. He reached his hand out towards her chest, but right before he kneaded his hand into it he pulled it back, barely skimming over the peak of her nipple and that sent her body into high alert mode. She wanted to ask him why he decided not to go for it but he answered that for her instead.

“I’d rather just go for the main event actually.” He said lowly and she hummed. His eyes trailed down to her pajama shorts, they were a bit loose and went down to about mid thigh,  “The eternal debate, panties or no panties?” He said with a smile, “What do you think I am?” He asked her and her mind flickered to what had happened not even 10 minutes before.

“No panties, obviously.” She said and he grinned.

“Yeah.” He shrugged with a snigger and she laughed softly.

“OK, so what am I?” She asked and he looked into her eyes. His gaze was so piercing that she didn’t see one of his hands lower to the front of her shorts, “Well?”she asked and he bit his lip to suppress his smirk as he pulled up the material right above the crotch of her shorts, imprinting the shape of her pussy right against the material. She yelped in surprise as the thicker middle seam of the shorts dug against her aching clit and her eyes widened as her hands flew up to cover her mouth. Harry’s face scrunched up as his silent laugh turned into a snigger and she closed her eyes and shook her head as she removed her hands from her mouth.

“I knew it was no panties.” He whispered cheekily. 

It was only then that Y/N felt a little tickle down her butt as she shifted a bit. She realized that it was from how wet she was and it took her by surprise, she had never been that wet before; she didn’t even know it was possible. Harry watched her and started to realize what she had just discovered. He could see from his peripherals how her thighs kept squeezing together or slightly shifting. 

“You’re so fucking wet for me, aren’t you?” He asked out of the blue with a cocky smile and she bit her lip and nodded. He quirked his eyebrow up expectantly and she widened her eyes in realization.

“Yes. I am.” She responded verbally.

“Yes you are- what?” He pushed further and she blushed as she realized what he wanted. She swallowed thickly before she spoke up.

“I’m s-so fucking wet for you, Harry.” She stammered in a soft and breathy voice and he hummed.

“Yeah, you are.” He hummed haughtily and she swallowed thickly again. He was so fucking sexy, Y/N was reeling. He could ask her to jump off a cliff and she’d do it, “Do you care if I see you bare or do you want me to keep your shorts on?” He asked her.

“You can take ‘em off if you want.” She responded and he smiled.

“OK.” He nodded and she lifted her hips to allow him to slip off her shorts. He folded them up and placed them off to the side before dipping down to kiss her. He shifted to one side of her and spoke into their kiss, “Bend your legs for me, yeah?” She just did it and he knelt in between her legs, careful to not move his thigh too much. Their lips met eagerly and he started to pull back, “Sit up.” He said and she sat up and he grabbed the two pillows on his side of the bed and stuffed them behind her so that she was propped up, “Want you to be able to see.” He hummed and she moaned. 

She couldn’t believe how wet she was for him, she could feel her inner walls fluttering and her clit was puffy and aching for attention. She didn’t remember the last time she had felt this on fire. But it was his words, his kisses, his energy. She suddenly gasped as his warm palm cupped over her center. He could already feel on the tips of his fingers how wet she was. He sighed with a smile.

“Shit…” he exhaled and she moaned as he added more pressure and his middle finger prodded right against her entrance. He wiggled his fingers up and down as she whined softly. The smacking, wet sounds of her arousal made him groan as his digits became coated in her arousal, “Fuck, love the sound of your wet pussy.” He growled lowly.

“Oh my god…” She sang in excitement as a wave of pleasure struck her core and expanded through her body.

“Gonna put my fingers in.” He warned her and she nodded, trying her best to relax. He slowly rubbed over her dripping, little hole, “Think I can start with two?” He mumbled into her mouth and she nodded.

“Yes, fuck. Please! I want to feel full.” She whispered desperately and he grinned as he started to push them into her gently. His fingers were obviously longer and thicker than hers, the fit made her body squirm as he sunk in, stretching out her long neglected pussy. She moaned aloud when he finally sunk in to the knuckle.

“Shhh, baby, shhh…” He shushed her with a grin, “Gotta be quiet.” He reminded her and she bit her lip and as he arched his fingers up and rubbed into her g-spot and her warm, velvety walls squeezed his fingers tight, “You’re so tight.” He grunted against her mouth as he thrust his fingers in and out, prodding into her g-spot over and over, her brain was melting as her entire body started to buzz and tingle from the center out. He started going faster and she let out a little squeak as her fists tightened up into the sheets.

“Oh Harry, right there!” She whined quietly, “Right there!” She mewled desperately. She was already starting to feel that familiar tightening in her stomach and her breathing started to become shallow. He then used his thumb to rub circles into her clit which made her gasp and for her mouth to open in a silent scream. Harry felt her muscles pulsate around his digits and he grinned.

“Thought it was hard for you to come with a partner.” He teased and she shivered, “Seems to me you’re already close, baby.” She moaned and he grinned, “Shhhh. Or I’m gonna have to gag you.” He warned and her eyes rolled back. Her body shook with the thrusts of his fingers and she felt her toes start to curl as she rolled her head back and Harry leaned down against her ear and nibbled at her ear lobe, “Still my good girl?” He asked and she nodded, “Good. Want you to come for me then, baby.” She shuddered at his command, “Can you do that for me?” He asked and she nodded.

“Oh my god!” She gasped. Her breathing started to shallow as the fire in the pit of her stomach started to spread through her entire body. Her hips started thrusting up into his fingers and he groaned, “Good baby, fuck yourself on my fingers until you come.” He muttered and suddenly she froze and her breath hitched.

“Fuck Har-” her moan was muffled as he pulled her face into the crook of his neck. He panted through a soft laugh as he felt her legs trembling as she moaned into his neck as she came undone. He started to slow his pace gradually to help her ride it out and he removed his hand from the back of her head as she started breathing hard, letting her head rest back into the pillows. She swallowed thickly as she tried to breathe deeper and he rubbed the tip of his nose playfully against her own as he slowly withdrew his fingers from her.

“You OK, love?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, just… recovering.” She smiled in satisfaction and he grinned, “Thank you for that. I’ve been missing out.” She panted before puckering her lips and he kissed her quickly.

“Anytime, baby. M’gonna get a taste, OK?” He said and she nodded, watching as he knelt upright and brought his cum-coated fingers to his lips and slipped them in. He groaned and shut his eyes as he cleaned off his fingers, “Gonna rush to the bathroom.” She nodded and he hurried out of the bed and quietly snuck out to the bathroom in the hallway that was all her own. 

After a few moments he returned with a small towel in hand and he warned her that he was going to clean her up and she was shy about it, no one had ever done aftercare for her, but this was something else. He then helped her get her shorts back on before he settled into the bed. He backed into her and she spooned him and he hummed in comfort as her lips smooched a kiss on his shoulder.

“Still gonna hang out with me after work tomorrow right?” He asked her and she smiled.

“Yeah, of course.” She whispered and he smiled as he nuzzled further into her, “Night, H.”

“Night, baby.” He whispered.

——— Tag List ———

Sorry guys, always forget to add these in 🥲

@sunshinemoonsposts @anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellite @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry @cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @angelqueen99 @slutfortigertattoo @jessitpwk

Lmk if you’d like to be added 😁

[daceydeath]

Hierarchy

Heirachy: a system, especially in a society or organization, in which people are organized into different levels of importance from highest to lowest.

Parings: Mafia Changbin x Female Reader, Mafia Felix x Female Reader Word Count: 6.5k (give or take) Genre: Mafia au, friends to lovers, angst Warnings: So much swearing, violence, blood, mentions of kidnapping, drinking

You have always been utterly uninteresting, safely boring as close . You had a normal job, normal friends and the sweetest bestie on the planet but now everything is upside down and that best friend of yours is far more dangerous than you could have ever imagined.

Everyone knew that your city was held by the SKZ Syndicate, a street gang turned successful crime family, they were widely feared but the criminal underworld all over the country but in everyday life you barely every gave them a second thought. Working as a secretary at a corporate design firm was hardly a hub for criminal activity, you lived a normal life by just about anyone's standards.

You had your family who still lived in the home you grew up in a few hours outside of the city, you had your friends that you went to school with and the ones you had met through work and you had Changbin your best friend. He had been in your life as a friend for so long you almost couldn't remember your life without him in it, he was sweet and gentle with you and was always a shoulder for you to cry on if thing had gotten hard at work or if your boyfriend of the time had caused you hurt due to a painful breakup. You had never taken that step across the line of friendship you treasured him too much for that, and besides he seemed to have a pretty constant flow of girlfriends, even though you had more than a few romantic thoughts about him over the years you had been friends.

Living in the neighborhood you did had always been a slight concern for Changbin though he was constantly worried about gang activity or crime in your area but you had never had any problems, most people were quite happy to just mind their own business, you knew that the area was part of the half of the city that was connected to the SKZ Syndicate, but you never really ever gave that a second thought. Criminals dealt with criminals you were a secretary you were stratospheres apart as far as you were concerned.

You had agreed to meet Changbin and a few other mutual friends at a club a fifteen minutes from your place, you had told him you were going to take an Uber but you were actually going to walk it wasn't even that late when you were leaving home so it would be fine. No one ever took any notice of you, this time was different though as you walked between people you could feel someone watching you following you but every time you checked in a store window you couldn't tell who it was. Feeling a little more nervous you changed you route making sure to not go down any empty streets, you tried to stand close to groups of people any time you had to stop to cross roads or wait for cars. The feeling continued until you reached the street the club was located on, walking quickly to the door you entered the club to find Changbin.

"Hey doll, you made it" Changbin grinned drink already in hand.

"Yeah, here I am" you smiled in return but you could tell Changbin was already suspicious as he raised his eyebrows at you in an unasked question. Shaking you head to signal him you would tell him later, you took a seat at the booth and began chatting to your other friends. The club was packed, bodies squeezed together on the dance floor and at least five deep at the bar below you on the first floor but somehow, once again, Changbin had managed to secure you a private booth on the upper floor which meant table service and much less having your toes stepped on. It hadn't taken long for you to get ditched by the three girls you were chatting with in favor of dancing and finding a hook up but you didn't mind really, casual hook ups weren't really your thing and Changbin's friends were still there.

Tonight you could feel that it was different to usual more staff were on the upper floor and more of Changbin's friends who you knew as acquaintances joined you, not that it mattered some of them were incredibly handsome and all of them were friendly smiling easily as they spoke to you and always maintaining a respectful eye level and distance from all the girls in the group, which you had to admit was an attractive trait you had always hated being leered at like you were some kind of prize. Felix then came to sit with you, you had known him for quite sometime meeting him through Changbin a year or so earlier and you had quickly formed a fairly strong friendship, after all he was sweet and adorable it was hard to not get attached to him.

"You need another drink bubs?" Felix grinned gesturing to your now empty glass

"Just water thanks Lixie I need to not have a hangover tomorrow" You smiled sweetly noticing Changbin seemed to be in a deep conversation with Chan.

"Water it is then. Do you want something to eat I think Binnie will be busy for a while" Felix chuckled following you line of sight.

"Oh..um no I'm good, I'm just wondering why he still invited us all out if he's so stressed we would've understood" you met Felix's eyes and shrugged. "I never really thought that the music industry would be as stressful as it is"

"Well you know how it is, every job is stressful at points" Felix nodded as though he agreed with you before waving down a staff member to bring you water and him a beer. You sat with Felix chatting and laughing for another hour until all your other friends had quickly come back to tell you they were either going home or to someone else's and it was just you and Changbin's friends who all seemed to be more relaxed than he was.

Sliding out of the booth to go to the bathroom you found yourself almost the center of attention as each of the guys turned to follow you movements, Changbin opened his mouth and you knew he was about to ask where you were going.

"Bathroom" you called back waving to him before walking towards the restrooms that were on the other side of the upper floor noticing them all go back to their conversations and drinks as you weaved your way between the tables. The thump of the bass was much softer once you made your way through the two doors that separated you from the club making you take a deep breath as you washed your hands and placed your now cool fingers on your face. Changbin had been acting strange all night and it was starting to trouble you, maybe if he was free on Sunday night you would ask him over for a movie and feed him so comfort food to see if he would open up about his problems, you hated seeing him stressed it always made his sweet face seem harder more menacing even though he was the exact opposite. You sighed walking back out into the entrance hall of the bathrooms but before you opened the door you could hear someone talking loudly on the phone, knowing you shouldn't eavesdrop you went to push open the door until you heard Changbin's name being used.

"Boss, I'm sure Changbin suspects something" "Yeah I know that but he wont leave the girl alone she has been with one of them the whole time" "Yeah him or the kid Felix" "Should have grabbed her before she got here but she was around too many people" "Gotta go and get back on the floor"

You stood totally still not wanting even your breathing to give away that you were there and could here everything that was said. You heard the bass get louder again as the door opened to the club again and you waited another two minutes before you scurried back down the hallway quickly and straight back into the club. Changbin must have been watching the door leading to the restrooms because he stood as soon as he noticed your wide eyes and pale face. You rushed through the tables almost tripping and you tried to reach him as fast as possible.

"Doll, did you see a ghost or something?" he grinned squeezing you hand as you almost threw yourself into his arms. Him, Felix and Chan were all sitting in the booth you had been occupying with Minho and Han sitting on chairs they had pulled up all of them looking at you in amusement.

"There was a guy in the hallway, he was on the phone he said you suspected something, that that you weren't leaving me alone, that they were supposed to grab me, he knew your names" You babbled quickly looking at him as he almost snarled and pulled you into his lap and over him to slide you between him and Felix keeping you sandwiched between them.

"So am I still being paranoid Chan" He almost spat as he put his large arm around your shoulders to stop you from shaking as Chan looked genuinely angry as he waved Seungmin over to the booth.

"Minnie, quietly look at the CCTV to find out who came out of that door before she came back into the room" Chan's voice sounded so much colder than you had ever heard making you shrink back into the chair to make yourself smaller "Now sweetheart, tell me everything that happened and everything you heard, you don't have to rush and no one is going to be mad about anything are they Changbin?" You looked to Changbin who nodded once before taking his arm from around your shoulders and instead held your hand, while Felix took your other hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly.

"I was leaving the bathroom and I heard a guy on the phone in the hallway, he was talking really loud and normally I would just walk past but when I went to pull the door open he said Binnie's name in a really nasty tone so I just stayed where I was. I couldn't see him but I heard him say that Binnie suspected something, that he won't leave the girl alone, that she is with him or Felix and that they should have grabbed her earlier but there were too many people around. Then he hung up and I waited until I heard him leave the hallway, waited two minutes then came back out here" You took a deep breathe to steady your voice as you finished causing Binnie to smirk at you.

"How did you know he left the hallway?" Minho asked watching you closely.

"When the hallway door opens to the club the music is much louder when it shuts is get quieter again" you explained watching him now smirk at Changbin.

"How do you know it was about you?" Chan asked softly his eyes remained gentle as he spoke to you.

"I felt someone watching me most of the way here tonight, Changbin made me promise to take an Uber but I wanted to walk, I took a longer route with more people I thought maybe I was imagining it but it felt like I lost them once I got near here" your voice shook a little as you told Chan what you hadn't yet had the chance to Changbin.

"So you stayed still and kept out of sight and also went somewhere where there were more people when you thought you were being followed?" Minho asked again this time looking vaguely surprised as Seungmin returned to Chan and Hyunjin joined the table "that's clever I'll give you that"

"Binnie has told me to do that if I don't feel safe" you nodded "He is a bit overprotective at times" the guys all burst out into laughter as you added the last sentence except Changbin who just squeezed your hand and rubbed his thumb across your knuckles to calm you. Minho smiled at you genuinely after your explanation seeming pleased that you had followed Changbin's instructions.

"You still feeling scared?" Felix whispered as Seungmin leaned into Chan's ear to tell him what he found and to keep your attention away from it.

"Yes but I'm safe with Binnie, I'm safe with you" you whispered back causing Felix to grin his dazzling smile at you and Binnie to grumble pulling you away from his pretty friend.

"Lix isn't going to steal her away man" Han chuckled punching Changbin in the shoulder and confusing you slightly since both men were dear friends to you. But you didn't say anything instead you picked up your bag and looked through your notifications to make sure your friends had all got home safely.

"I told you to stop walking everywhere" Changbin almost growled at you causing Chan to raise his eyebrows and Felix to pull you slightly away from him even though you remained un-phased by his tone.

"I know Binnie, but I just never thought I actually needed to worry about all the stuff you worry about" You explained softly placing you hand on his bicep and giving it a gentle squeeze making him soften instantly.

"Normally I would say lets not talk work in front of friends but maybe we should head back to the company and go from there?" Chan announced flicking his eyes to you momentarily.

"Can you guys not go until I had got a cab home though? I don't want to wait by myself" you muttered shyly not wanting to be alone until you were home again.

"Doll, Chan means you are coming too. You can't be on your own until we find out who that guy was, I need you to be safe is that ok?" Changbin's voice was apologetic but urgent as he explained what Chan meant.

"Oh… sure" you nodded obviously unsure as they all began getting up to leave. Changbin pulled you close to his side with one large arm around your waist, Felix stayed close behind you with Minho in front of you and the others forming a loose ring around you. You found yourself being helped into one of three black cars with blacked out windows that were waiting curbside by Felix while Changbin stood at you back.

"Doll, you are going to have to keep your head lower than the seat line just to be safe. Chan is going to ride with you and so will Minho, I'll be in one of the other cars" He explained quickly and softly so as not to frighten you "So you will need to lean into one of them so no one can tell your are in the car, it's just to keep you safe so don't worry ok?" You nodded mutely and fearfully as Minho took Changbin's place in the door opening and gracefully slid in next to you as Chan did the same on the other side.

Watching through the windshield you watched Felix getting in the first car and you assumed Changbin must have been getting in the third since you lost sight of him. Chan was texting someone so you decided it was best to just bow you head and look at your hands clasped tightly in your lap trying to zone out as best you could so as to not panic as to what on Earth was happening. Not paying attention to much else, except the thoughts and fear swimming in your head, you gasped as the car started moving causing Minho's arm to shoot out behind you and pull you under his arm into his chest, keeping you lower than the seat level.

"Is this alright or would you prefer Chan?" Minho murmured gently prizing your white knuckled grip on your fingers apart as you again nodded in response "Bin won't let anything happen to you, we won't either, your safe with us I promise" His voice was soft and gentle which soothed you and confused you since you had only had a handful of conversations with him since you had met him.

"Why is this even happening?" you whispered not looking up at Minho but desperately wanting to.

"Bin will explain everything when we get to the company" Chan smiled taking one of you hands and rubbing circles into the back of it with his thumb. "Just breathe we will be there soon and it will be over" you sighed softly the stress in your body making in hard for you to do much else, everyone in the car stayed silent for the longest time until it pulled into a tree lined street that looked out of place for a business.

"Was anyone tailing?" Chan asked eyes looking towards the driver

"No Sir" he answered quickly "If someone was tailing it was on one of the other cars"

"Good" Chan sighed as the car pulled up to a large gated wall pausing only as the gate opened before quickly driving on until it reached an underground parking garage.

"See everything is fine now" Minho smiled "We're home now no one can hurt you here" you blinked several times before Chan softly pulled you step out of the car.

You stepped into the chilly air of the garage letting go of Chan's hand to pull your bag out behind you as you looked around for anything recognizable. Only finding the other two black cars parked with the 6 other guys standing by the cars talking. Hearing the doors of the final car they all made their way towards you Changbin looking furious and the others in various states of annoyance which triggered something visceral inside you to flip from scared witless to fuming, dropping your bag to the ground suddenly caused all of them to turn their eyes onto you as you stalked forward to Changbin and hit him as hard as you could across the face.

"What the actual fuck Seo Changbin!" you practically screamed at him as his eyes widened almost comically making you hit him again but this time across his chest "come out for the night you said, it would be fucking fun you said. What the fucking hell going on?" Your breathing was ragged from yelling at him and now your hand hurt but he at least had the respect to look sheepish. It was silent for all of two seconds before Felix snorted and all of them devolved into barks of laughter and Changbin looked from you to your now reddening hand that you had tried to bitch slap him with suspicion while rubbing his cheek. Felix was almost on the floor gasping while Han and Chan looked like they might have tears in their eyes. Hyunjin and Jeongin did have tears leaking from their eyes and Seungmin was quickly taking photos of the reddening hand print on the side of Changbin's face before he bent do to grab your bag to hand it back to you.

"Thank you Seungmin" you smiled at him looking every bit the innocent sweetheart they had always thought you to be, causing another round of chuckles to erupt.

"C'mon inside" Changbin groaned wrapping his fingers around your wrist and tugging you behind him toward the doors into the building "I can't believe you just hit me" he grumbled as the others followed along behind the pair of you still trying to get over their amusement.

"I can't believe I overheard someone trying to kidnap me but here we fucking are" you grumbled right back causing Changbin to loosen his grip on your wrist and let his hand lower to grab your hand in his.

"Well if I knew you were going to turn into a psycho I might have let them" he continued but in a teasing tone which you instantly felt a tiny spark of relief over.

"If I knew my best friend was a shady dipshit I might have gone with them voluntarily" you teased right back feeling him squeeze you hand "But you are going to explain what is going on, right? I mean why does anyone want to take me? I'm no one" you almost sobbed still only seeing his back as he led you through the corridor and up a flight of stairs until you finally come out into a very luxurious looking large entryway.

"This is the company, I'll take you upstairs we just need to talk first then I'll come get you ok?" Changbin finally turned to you the red mark on his cheek was already fading slowly and he looked apologetic as each of the others passed by the pair of you towards a large set of dark wood doors. You nodded feeling to overwhelmed to do much else it had been a very intense few hours and you were now starting to feel the strain of it all.

Changbin led you to what you had assumed would be some kind of guest room where he said you could either just rest or get cleaned up but turned out to be his. As soon as he opened the door to the dark navy painted room you could smell his cologne still hanging in the air.

"I'm sorry that this happened Doll, I really am, but make yourself comfy and I'll come back soon" He murmured before closing the door behind him leaving you alone. The emotions of the past few hours finally came out as the door clicked shut as you covered your mouth to muffle the first of what would be many sobs. Tears tracked down your cheeks quickly dripping salty makeup tinged drips onto your top you didn't hear the door open or someone enter the room until a soft cough and a small hand full of tissues came into your blurry line of sight making you almost shriek.

"Mr Seo asked that I check on you, maybe we should get you into the bathroom a nice hot shower will make you feel better I'm sure" she soothed helping you so stand "they will be in a meeting for quite some time so you have time to relax and sleep if you wish I can get you some food if you like" she guided you gently towards the bathroom turning on the light for you and pulling some plush looking towels from the cabinet and placed them on the counter for you.

"thank you" you croaked your throat sore from crying taking in her appearance she mast have been at least in her late 40s but she was being very kind so you instinctively remained polite.

"I will get you some food while you shower dear" She smile once more before disappearing as silently as she arrived.

You took her advice and had a very long hot shower washing your hair, with what you knew instantly was Changbin's shampoo having grown so used to the scent over the years, and washing away any steric of grime that may have remained on your skin from your time at the club. You must have been in the shower for a long time because by the time you had towel dried your hair and wrapped yourself in a fluffy robe, there was already a tray of food waiting for you. You went into the large closet that was next to the bathroom and pulled out one of Binnie's shirts, hoodie and some sweats you found and dressed yourself to make sure you were decent incase Binne or Felix came back for you.

Sitting on the bed you picked up a strawberry and started to nibble on it not feeling hungry enough to actually eat, when you really couldn't force yourself to eat any more fruit you moved the tray from the bed and laid down hoping against the odds that you would wake up to find it all a crazy dream that you could tell Changbin about and you could laugh about.

"Wakey, wakey doll" Changbin whispered lowly as he shook you awake gently, your eyes opened slowly taking in his tired face and sad eyes.

"What's happening?" you groaned slightly groggy from sleep.

"We need to talk about things" he sighed sitting next to you on the bed as you sat up bringing your knees to you chest to lean on as he watched you carefully. You nodded waiting for him to start as you blinked yourself more awake. "I guess we start on the first lie, I don't work in music production I work for Chan, or more so with Chan, and we are more like..."

"Mafia? murderers? drug lords?" you interrupted sarcastically, your fear at all of the nights events still sitting in your gut like lead, watching his face fall slightly.

"The group of us, we're the SKZ Syndicate so you have every right to call us any of those things" he trailed off looking down from your face to the bed "I'm sorry I've lied to you, I never wanted to, but I had to" his voice sounded sadder with each word he uttered making you feel bad for being annoyed about things that weren't your secrets to keep in the first place "Lix feels terrible too but we understand that you are probably going to never want us around you again"

"Why?" you whispered lowering you knees so you could reach out to him and get him to look at you again. "Do you not trust me?" you nearly felt sick thinking that maybe he never cared about you the way you did him.

"With my life doll, I just never wanted you dragged into this. It isn't a safe life, I'm selfish because I still wanted you in my life and I always hoped that you wouldn't find out which is stupid but still" Changbin sounded almost broken as he explained his fears to you and as he did you realized you didn't actually care as long as he was still Binnie you didn't care what he did, not really.

"How long?" you whispered again still not trusting you voice to work properly

"Years a lot of years, the things you read about in the papers, the bloodshed and stuff. I was part of that and before you ask so was Felix we have been in this life for longer than you have known him" Each word was piercing your heart not because you were scared of him or Felix, or even because you were repulsed by it in truth you didn't actually care, but because they both thought you would hate them for it.

"Binnie, I don't care if your a criminal, I only care that you are still my Binnie. Is it selfish I don't want to lose you?" you smiled cupping his cheek as he smiled at you again. "same goes for Lixie I only care about my friends who I have known for so long"

"You won't lose me doll or Felix, promise, now lets go downstairs the boys want to talk to you a little bit more" You nodded sliding out of his bed and following him down the stairs to the large double doors you had seen earlier opening them for you to step into.

You weren't sure what to expect really, some dark wood board room with guns all over the walls? some kind of high tech room filled with spy gear like a James Bond film? To your surprise it turned out to be a very large room filled with couches, televisions playing video games and a pool table. Skateboards, posters and large works of art littered the walls and a fridge behind one of the couches was filled with soda and beer.

"Hi bubs, can I still call you bubs or do you not want me to anymore?" Felix asked sadness in his eyes as he watched you walk further into the room.

"It's still fine Lixie, as long as you promise you are still Lixie" you whispered as he grinned back at you brightly moving around the others to hug you.

"I see you didn't bother finding her actual spare clothes" Jeongin giggled looking over the very baggy shirt that adorned your top half.

"He's not marking his territory at all" Hyunjin hummed teasingly winking dramatically at Changbin making him roll him eyes and curse under his breath.

"You are feeling better? Did Mrs Choi get you anything to eat?" Minho asked softly looking closely at your face "Why are your eyes so red? Did Bin upset you? We can beat him up for you if you want"

"I feel kind of the same, I ate some fruit, I was sleeping that is why my eyes are red, please don't be mean to Binnie" You smiled at Minho watching him smirk in return.

"How about we all take a seat and talk about a few things" Chan sighed trying to diffuse the teasing before it really started up "Seungmin is going to show you a few photos and I would like you to look at them and tell us if any of them are familiar to you" you nodded as Seungmin began taking a small pile of photos out of a black folder and laid them on the coffee table for you to see.

Your eyes widened as you saw that they were all young looking and standing in front of places you knew like your office building, a café near your apartment, the mall you went to. Staring at them you began to think about anyone you had seen in the last week while you were out on errands or going to work, picking up one of a guy in a black backwards cap you looked at it carefully placing it back down again and picking up another of a guy with a cigarette hanging from his fingers sitting at a table you weren't sure if it was the location that was familiar or the man frowning you put it down too.

"It is completely fine if you don't recognize any of them" Chan prompted kindly trying to make you less nervous.

Your frown only intensified as you picked up another photo this guy was standing outside a convenience store that was a few blocks from your apartment he looked like he was checking his phone but it wasn't him that caught your attention it was you inside the convenience store, standing by the counter, probably chatting the cashier that you saw every few days. You remembered that day you had rushed down there when Changbin called to tell you he and Felix were going to come round to watch movies with you after cancelling so many times and you wanted to make sure you had their favorite snacks. It had been a pain too because there had been moving trucks outside the building since lunchtime that day a new tenant was moving in down the hall from you and his stuff had been everywhere almost making you trip on your way out. The new tenant that you met on your way back out of the store as he bumped into you and you nearly dropped your bag of snacks.

"Him" you blurted out handing the photo to Chan "he moved down the hall from me and he knocked into me not too long after this was taken. I nearly dropped all the snacks I bought for Binnie and Lix, we had a movie night"

"This was last week then?" Felix asked coldly looking to Seungmin for confirmation who just nodded in return.

"He touched you?" Changbin snapped he eyes getting darker quickly.

"He bumped into me and apologized Binnie" you explained simply patting his leg to calm him down more so for you than him, because you felt like you were going to need him for what Chan looked like he was about to tell you.

"Well done sweetheart" Chan smiled at you proudly giving the photo to Han "I am going to assume you have some questions" his voice trailed off as you met his eyes and half smiled nervously taking a deep breath.

"Why is this happening?" you asked in a small voice not wanting to seem demanding.

"Well how much did Bin tell you already?" he prompted as the others all watched Changbin

"That you are the SKZ Syndicate and that he has been part of it for a long time, that he didn't want to lie to me but had to" you answered nervously Chan nodded as Felix grabbed on of your hands instinctively squeezing it like he always did when you were feeling nervous or sad.

"That's true, we are the SKZ Syndicate, and Bin and Minho are my seconds in charge, Bin has been with me for a decade now since we were still kids and none of us ever wanted to lie to our families but we need to to keep them safe otherwise we need to keep them as close as possible to ensure they are safe at all times" Chan's voice was soft trying to keep to keep you as comfortable as possible you guessed as you felt yourself relax slightly now that your hand was in Felix's and Binnie's arm was over your shoulders.

"We think this is happening because either some little fucking upstarts want to make a name for themselves or a deal is about to go sideways and they need a bargaining chip" Han answered easily still seeming too sweet natured for the words to be leaving his mouth "Not that you are a bargaining chip, your important to Bin and Lix so your important to all of us, we look after our own"

"What is it you do?" you asked tilting your head "How does this work?" Chan chuckled watching your expression slowly turn from scared to confused as you comprehended that you were safe from any of them.

"Minho and Changbin look after our entertainment businesses, Felix handles our digital businesses, Seungmin and Jeonjin are our eyes and ears and Han and Hyunjin are our arms in the outside world" Chan began again carefully watching his words.

"Basically, Felix is a hacker, Seungmin does our spy and undercover stuff, Jeongin covers surveillance, Minho runs our gambling ring, Changbin runs our clubs and Han and I eliminate threats while Chan keeps everything all lined up and running" Hyunjin grinned at you as Chan cursed under his breath and Minho cackled with laughter.

"Yeah tell her everything Hyunjin, that's going to go well" Seungmin rolled his eyes "If you freak her out Bin will probably punch you"

"Not to mention the liability factor" Jeongin sighed looking at the ceiling.

"Hey she is not a liability Jeongin" Felix growled in a voice so much deeper that you had ever heard causing the air to turn thick in the room.

"Innie didn't mean it like that Lix" Chan groaned rubbing his eyes tiredly. Jeongin sat wide eyed staring at Felix while the others had all either arched their eyebrows or openly gaped at the boy next to you.

"What happens now?" you interrupted hoping to cut the tension that was not forming again in the room

"Well that is complicated we need to figure out what exactly their motivations are then we will deal with it however we need to" Han answered watching you again.

"So what do I do until then?" you whispered sadly and almost inaudibly but they all still managed to hear you.

"You stay here with us, you will have to call in sick to work until this is done, but I can guarantee you are safe here" Chan shrugged like it was nothing.

"Will this happen again with someone else?" you knew you sounded emotional and tired but you didn't care if they were happy to indulge your questions you were going to ask them

"Honestly" Jeongin looked at you sympathetically "It might never be an issue again but it also could happen very easily as soon as someone tweaks to the idea that you know Bin and Lix in a more than casual sort of way"

"Jeongin" Binnie almost snarled at the younger man "Don't start"

"Stop it Binnie" you snapped finally "It is confusing enough trying to follow the cryptic shit without you adding to it, I know you can't tell me things and that's fine, I know you are trying really hard to make me feel like I'm safe but really your just giving me a massive headache and making me miserable so just fucking stop it" you seethed at him again in all your years of friendship you had never snapped at him as many times as you had in the last 24 hours but you couldn't help it you were just emotionally drained and exhausted.

"Shh bubs, its alright" Felix pulled you out from under Changbin's arms and wrapped you up in a cuddle like he always did when you were upset "Binnie and I are just protective of you, we don't mean to make this harder for you, it's just that we would never want to lose you and it's hard for us to talk about it in case you want out afterwards" he continued rocking you as you hid your face in his neck to hide how difficult this was for you.

"Fine, you want to know the how's, why's and who's" Changbin seethed at you "Some little piece of shit thinks that the best way to get back at me is through you and now we have to figure out exactly what deal has gone wrong or if they are trying to rival us and then I have to go kill him! Happy now? I have to go kill yet another man because he's threatening you and I'll fucking die before I let some motherfucker come anywhere near you" His breathing was ragged by the time he finished and you could feel the anger rolling off of him, swallowing loudly you stood slowly trying to steady yourself from how truly frightening he looked in this state. You looked at Felix who was looking murderously at Changbin .

"I'll take you back upstairs bubs, you definitely need some rest" His voice was still far too deep for what you were useful but he intertwined his fingers with yours so gently making you feel slightly better "We can talk more in the morning when no one is emotional" his last sentence was obviously and pointedly directed at Changbin as the rest of the room was silent.

You followed Felix all the way upstairs without really registering anything until you reached the door to Changbin's room but Felix kept leading you further down the hallway and into the next one. Opening the door for you he ushered you into a different bedroom which you realized must have been his room, following you in he quickly turned on his wall lamps and turned off the main light leaving the room bathed in a soft golden glow which went perfectly with the soft blue walls and white furnishings.

"You can stay in here tonight bubs and I'll go stay with one of the others if you like, so you aren't with Changbin until he calms down" he soothed his voice now back to normal and his eyes shining sweetly, he sat you on the end of the bed as he began rummaging through his things to find his sleep stuff.

"Can you stay with me? you don't have to Lix..." you murmured shakily looking at him with doe eyes.

"Of course bubs. I'll just get washed up and I'll be back did you want me to find you something to sleep in?" he interrupted reaching out to pet your hair. You nodded as he started pulling out clothes for you and handing them to you before disappearing into the bathroom, you changed quickly and slipped yourself into Felix's bed sinking into the soft mattress. You must have started drifting off because when the bed dipped under Felix's weight you jumped making him chuckle as he turned off the lights and got in next to you, rolling over you burrowed yourself into his side and drifted off quickly nestled in blankets and Felix's arms.

a/n: This is the first mafia au I have attempted so I'm sorry if it isn't as good as it could be I wanted to challenge myself. Thanks for reading it reblogs are always appreciated and if you have any comments or criticisms let me know.

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Pleasing The Duke {6}*

Duke of Hastings/Rege Jean Page x OFC Jemilla “Jemi” Remmington

Warning: Plot, Regency Historical Piece, Angst, SLOW BURN, 

Words: 5.3k

Summary: After your four weeks on the marriage mart and the tumultuous way your and the duke’s budding friendship that turned into a faux courtship, then a real crisis that could have tarnished your name forever, you are now married to the duke. Only this is no traditional marriage. The duke has professed to never fall in love, never get married, and never sire an heir, a matter you know nothing of. Furious that his wanton, lustful desires have gotten him to forego one of those vows, he is determined not to break the other two. That would usually be an easy feat. Only with you, it might be more challenging to keep those vows, seeing as no matter what, you are the only thing on his mind.

Note: Inspired by Rege Jean Page’s portrayal of Simon Bassett. This fic will not have any other characters from the series, except Lady Danbury, mainly the portrayal version of her by the incredible Adjoa Andoh and maybe Queen Charlotte portrayed by Golda Rosheuvel. This series will focus on The Duke and an OFC female character and will be a sultry and erotic historical romance. Anyone under 18 is advised not to read.

***Glossary of terms at the end of the chapter for period-specific words/items for greater comprehension.

***Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Julia Quinn’s characters, nor the Characters established by Bridgerton.

I own the rights to the original characters created in this story.

If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!! 😘  

As always, thank you so much for reading. ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 

           Chapter Six: A Gentle Hand

Cold air raced up your spine, but a warmth was settled in your gut. The combination sent a shiver through your body. Moaning, you moved closer to the solid frame you felt against you. The warmth you found there was searing—comforting. Again, you moaned and tried to get closer. You wanted to be so close that the warmth was all your own. You draped a leg over the solid frame and settled falling back into a slumber. However, it was not restful. Your mind was plagued with visions of a storm. Raging winds wracked your person sending you this and that way. Thick, cold mud clung to you, almost pulling you deeper into the earth.

 When your visions calmed, you were met with hypnotizing eyes, full lips, and strong hands. Those hands touched you so possessively, so urgently. The face that came with those features was Simon’s. You could not make much out, but his words came to you in disorganized speech that was difficult to comprehend. When you thought you could make something out, the images changed. His lips remained and they were pressed to yours.

 Slowly, your eyes batted open. It took several moments for your vision to clear and steady. Once it did, you recognized your bedchambers. All was silent, only the soft crackle and pop of a fire could be heard. Early mornings were usually your favorite time of day. Everything was quiet, but you knew that everyone was on the move preparing for the start of the day. You liked to laze around in your bed listening to the birds chirp and watch the sunshine dance across your bed.

 You could hear the sounds of the chirping birds but though the sun brightly beamed through the windowpanes, it did not dance across the bed. Instead, you took notice of something else in your bed—or someone. You trailed your eyes up from the midsection of a body up, up, up until the bare chest of a man peeked from under the bed sheets—a very well-defined bare chest. Your breath caught then your throat tightened. Bringing your eyes higher, you found Simon’s glued on you. He did not move or speak, matter of fact, he seemed to be staring through you rather than at you.

 It took only a few seconds to realize he hadn’t realized you were awake. You glanced around again trying to understand what in the world had happened. On the floor beside the bed, you saw discarded clothes and your imagination went into hyperactivity. Again, you glanced up into Simon’s eyes. They were bloodshot with dark circles around them. He looked downright exhausted. Had he not slept?

 Just then, you recalled the storm and it slowly dawned on you that it had not been a dream, but a memory. Were you ill? Simon sucked in a breath then his body tensed.

 “Jamilla,” he breathed reaching over to you to press his hand to your forehead.

 The touch felt foreign but familiar. An image of him doing the same before filled your mind. Had he done it before? Simon continued to assess you with concerned eyes.

 “Someone come forth! Quickly!”

 You caught his eyes and noticed they looked tear filled. Simon avoided your eyes looking every which way. He tucked you tightly, so you now shared deep resemblance to a log in a lake. The doors opened and in came Mrs. Butler with your maids.

 “My lady,” Leesil began on a shriek. “Thank heavens we all were so worried.”

 Worried, you thought. Had things really been that bad? It was after all, just rain. You’d been caught in plenty of rainstorms. You looked to Simon again, but he still avoided your eyes.

 “My lord, the doctor has come,” Bridget announced as a tall man dressed in plain clothes entered the room.

 “Good. Come doctor, see to my wife.”

 With those words, Simon slipped from the bed whilst grabbing a discarded blanket that rested at the foot of the bed. He used the material to wrap himself from the waist down which told you he was very much nude while he was lying beside you. Oh my, you thought. While the doctor slinked to the side of the bed to tend to you, your eyes roamed Simon’s frame for a few moments taking in every inch of skin that was on display for you. Before long, Simon sprang into motion, excusing himself from the room entirely on some hushed whisper. What in the world was the matter with him?

 ~~~~~

 -Simon-

Blast it!

 The anger he felt was leagues past mere anger. He was fuming. This was all his fault. After hearing a detailed account of the events leading up to your disappearance, he’d learned just how at fault he truly was. If only he’d been more attentive, more accommodating rather than avoiding you. If only he’d been warmer perhaps there wouldn’t have been quite so many misunderstandings. Your words from your drunken delirium in the rain came back to him.

 “Th—they must all la—laugh at—at—m-me seeing you ca—cann—cannot stand to b—be near m—me.”

 Taking the steps two at a time he dashed down them needing to feel the cold morning air whipping against his flesh.

 “Do you not. You have said such in every way since I stepped beside you in that church. You have said such in every move you make, every word you speak no matter how nondescript. In every breath you breathe you wish me gone.”

 His chest hurt from the rapid beating of his heart and no matter what he did to hold the air in his lungs it never worked. He ended up feeling as if he hadn’t gotten any at all. Seeing the door across the stone lobby, he sped his steps.

 “You already hate me so this should be a blessing for you. Wifeless, free to resume your rakish ways.”

 Once the ornate metal doorknobs were tightly clasped in his hands, he yanked them open thrusting himself out into the elements. As soon as he stepped out, the crisp morning air slapped him in the face like a welcomed awakening to the new day. Taking gulp after gulp of the air he forced it into his lungs hoping that chased away the panic surging through his body.

 It did not take long to realize this would not be enough.

 “Horse! F----F--Fe--Fetch—my hor--horse!”

 “Yes, my lord.”

 He did not know who’d said it, he could hardly focus on breathing let alone whose voice he’d heard. Closing his eyes, he tried to focus on the tips of the doctor from his childhood. He had not had a bout of hysteria since he was one and six, He thought he was long past this stage especially having faced his father regarding his abandonment. Apparently not, he thought.

 Before long, a footman approached with his horse, Zeus. Not waiting for the horse to stop he took quick steps and leapt up swinging himself onto his trusted steed.

 With the reins in hand he shouted, “Hiyah!”

 Zeus took off into the open greenery much like a fast-traveling lightning bolt as it split the sky before rainfall. The breeze was now whipping around him sending his banyan flapping behind him. Lightly he flicked Zeus’ reins prompting him to go faster. For as far as he could see it was open land—his land and he had not one worry.

 “Then why have you abandoned me? You hate me so much you would rather not eat with me, not sleep beside me, nor see my face. Just admit it.”

 He clenched his jaw thinking of that word. Abandoned. He wanted to throw himself off the horse. Never in his plans had he wanted to ever make someone feel the way he’d felt his entire life. Discarded, neglected, repulsed, abandoned. You felt abandoned by him because of his actions.

 “Hiyah!”

Turning Zeus toward the dense tree grove, he steered him through the dangerous low hanging branches and broken wood. He only had seconds to make the right decision to keep his head firmly attached to his shoulders and it was what he enjoyed. He had learned long ago that he was somewhat of an adventure seeker. It was evident in his travels to exotic and distant lands and even his interest in boxing, fencing, archery, hunting and a few others. Many of his friends suspected he had a death wish and liked to see which sport would claim his life. Perhaps they were right.

 Giving Zeus a heel to the abdomen, he signaled him to jump over the coming fallen branches. Seconds later he had to duck to avoid his cause of death being beheading by wood. No matter the speed he was going or the danger he was thrusting himself into he still was not going fast enough to outrun your voice or the pain he saw in your eyes.

 He could not believe you did not know. It was in this moment as he ducked and from doom and leapt into the air from danger that he realized just how innocent you were. He had never entrained an innocent, never bothered, or dared to even attempt to. He knew he was far to damaged to be trusted to not twist and morph another to mirror himself. Horror filled his heart, but it was not from the shattered tree trunk that was in his path fiving him no way to avoid it.

 As Zeus’ impulses took hold skidding himself to a stop, he went flying through the air, over the broken wood and flat on his back several feet away. The collision knocked the wind right out of him making him see spots and fog. By the time his vision cleared he was leaned against the tree taking steady breaths.

 “Blazing Devils!”

 Flinging his head back he groaned as it collided with the tree which sent another torrent of curses from his lips. He deserved the pain; he deserved the agony he was in right now. Your face came to mind as did the memory of your body pressed against his all through the night. The ache coursing through him died down and was replaced with the fire of his desire for you. Gods help him he desired you more than he had ever desired any other woman. It baffled him beyond measure.

 Sitting there he slowly went over every detail of the night before, every feeling, every fear and came to terms with them. He was at fault in this situation, and he had to rectify it. He knew his mother would be ashamed of him and how he’s behaved around you. He also knew his father would probably be proud seeing his own coldness and aloofness in him. Perhaps he would finally accept him then.

 “Sod it all,” he mumbled.

 “You must conquer the past Simon, either you conquer it or it will make a fool of you in your present and all the days of your future.”

 Lady Danbury’s words never went too far from his mind. He had heard them echo all through his childhood at the most inconvenient of times. It was as if she knew way back then the struggles he would continue to have well into adulthood. Turning his head upward he caught sight of the sun that was now beaming down on him through the branches of the trees he was surrounded by.

 With the intense glare, more of Lady Danbury’s words flitted to his mind. These words she had uttered on the day you had wed.

 “She hath a kind and quaint heart, tread carefully and be gentle with her. Do not snuff her light out, let it in.”

 She was the closest to a mother he’d had, and he loved her dearly. She had often teased him asking how he could love her but swear to never love anyone. She understood the difference but enjoyed teasing him by pointing out he was capable of the emotion. He still needed proof and if the last few weeks were to be it, only one thing was clear, he was more capable of destruction than love. Something deep inside wished of him to be proven wrong. It was a wish he had never allowed to see the light of day. It lived in the darkest alcoves of his heart.

 After returning to the estate, he had a better hold of his emotions and thoughts. The guilt still wracked him, but it was easier to hold it at bay. As he jumped off his horse, his steward informed him of the doctor waiting in the drawing room to discuss your health. With haste he found the man in the midst of a cup of tea admiring the roses.

 “My lord.”

 “Please, no need for formalities doctor. Thank you for coming with such haste.”

 “Tis a pleasure to serve the Duke and Duchess of Hastings.”

 “Please continue your tea,” he said as he sat across from the man and allowed him to take another sip of tea.

 “To your liking?”

 “Very much, my lord.”

 “Good. How is she?”

 The doctor cleared his throat then set his cup and saucer down before he began.

 “The duchess’ breathing is quite labored, quite too labored if you ask me. I am inclined to believe she has some pulmonary infliction, and a minor draft. She has coughing bouts which is slight worrisome for me. If this is left untreated it could lead to more serious conditions.”

 “Will she recover?”

 “I believe she will. my advice is to keep her warm, ensure she gets plenty of rest, I have written the recipe for an herbal tincture that I wish to be made into tea for her to drink three times a day for sennight. Sun will also do her good. With this there is no reason the duchess will not recover.”

 The relief he felt must have been evident. The doctor smiled.

 “Tis refreshing to see a man who loves his wife so.”

 He nodded but did not reply. “I assure I will bring the duchess back to good health.”

 “Happy to hear it, my lord!”

 After allowing the doctor to finish his cup of tea he relayed the orders to the house instructing them on the proper way to care for Jamilla. Once that was squared away, he retired to his chambers to clean himself up from his impromptu ride.

 ~~~~~

 -Jamilla-

“My lady.”

 Snapping your head to the right you found Brigit and Leesil both standing there with concerned looks on their faces.

 “Y—Yes,” you rasped before clearing your throat ignoring the tightness in your chest.

 “Do you feel well? You gave us quite a fright,” Bridget added.

 “I am sorry to have worried you. But surly it was not that bad.”

 Leesil’s eyes widened even further. “Ma’am, it was a horror. You were unconscious, shivering cold one moment, hotter than a flame the next, your lips were quite blue. Mrs. Butler was certain the estate would have claimed another Duchess of Hastings.”

 Your curiosity piqued then. “An—,” A cough wracked your body that quickly escalated into a bout lasting longer than you liked. Both Bridget and Leesil approached you attempting to sooth and assist you any way they could. When the coughing finally passed you took the glass of water that Leesil held out for you.

 “Goodness.”

 You fanned your face and hoped that the burn in your chest would subside sooner rather than later. When it finally dwindled to a slight ache, you looked at Leesil needing to know more.

 “What do you mean the estate would have claimed another?”

 Leesil looked to Bridget hesitantly before she looked back to you. “Leesil please,” you urged.

 “Do you not know of the history of this estate or the Hastings’?”

 “I have heard the basics. The Duke and Duchess married and eventually had a child, but the duchess passed away.”

 “The previous Duchess did expire—shortly after she delivered the duke, in this estate in a room that has been blocked off for decades.”

 You’d heard that his mother passed on, but you did not know it was during childbirth.

 “She passed on alone, save for Lady Danbury,” Leesil finished.

 Your eyes widened. “Alone? Why? What of the Duke? Where was he?”

 Leesil’s face twisted into a scowl of disgust. “Flaunting his long awaited, newborn son to anyone with eyes. He cared not for the wellbeing of the Duchess. Quite shameful! Me mum loved the Duchess and has never forgiven the man for how her last moments went.”

 Your heart broke hearing the accounts of the past. The late duke sounded like a heartless man. Part of you wondered if that was who Simon aspired to be. Was the way he treated you the way his father had treated his mother? Suddenly a flash of a memory came to mind. It was a memory of Simon treating you completely different than he had for the last several days.

 “Is something the matter?”

 “Was—Was I alone while I was ill?”

 Again, Leesil and Bridget glanced at each other before they turned back to you.

 “No ma’am. The duke accompanied you,” Bridget informed.

 “All night,” Leesil added.

 Your eyes widened again as another image came to mind. Simon’s arms were wrapped around your body pulling you against his very much nude one.

 “The entire night?”

 “Yes, my lady,” they answered in unison.

 You squinted your eyes trying to press the edges of your mind to give you more memories. The more they came the more you did not understand. None of what you imagined made sense because none of it revealed more than flashes. Hands on your body, chest pressed to yours, your face buried in a neck, lips, fabric, and heat, plenty of heat.

 “I would say the duke must possess healing powers to have revived you within one night,” Leesil teased making Bridget giggle.

 Before you could reply, the door opened and in walked Simon like a ray of sunshine on a gloomy morning. Your eyes could not help but follow him as he walked in and around the four-post bed to you. Everything and everyone else faded.

 “Bridget, Leesil I will take it from here.”

 “Yes, my lord,” they replied in unison reminding you that they were there in the first place.

 Once the door closed behind them, you looked back to Simon who was now seated on the side of the bed he’d gotten out earlier in the morning. His eyes were on you as he was trying to read every hidden emotion or thought behind your eyes.

 “Are you well?”

 “Yes,” you whispered.

 Simon pressed the back of his hand to your forehead then hummed. “You are not as hot as you were in the night. That is a bit of good news. I have brought your breakfast and medicine. Would you be interested in eating?”

 Slowly you nodded. Simon began uncovering the dishes and bowls on the trey that was now on the bed. As he revealed the food your hunger awoke reminding you that you had not eaten since the previous day.

 “What shall we begin with? Perhaps a spot of tea?”

 Again, you nodded. As you moved for the teacup, Simon beat you to it and lifted the porcelain to your lips. You hesitated for a moment but took a sip from the cup and rejoiced inside as the fruit and floral notes hit your senses.

 “I found it a delightful surprise hearing you add rose and mulberries to your tea.”

 “It gives it sweetness and turns it--.”

 “Delicate,” Simon finished.

 Your eyes lingered for a few moments before he lowered the cup back to the trey. A soft scoff escaped him, “It suits you.”

 Bit by bit Simon raised fork and spoonfuls of food to your lips, taking care to not give you too much at once and to keep your face clean. You were practically beside yourself seeing this side of him. It was so unlike anything you’d seen from him before. Surly when you’d first met you’d made up your mind of him labeling him as a rake, then it slowly transitioned into him being a libertine. There is where it remained no matter how quickly you found yourself becoming mesmerized by his charm and alluring maleness. He was so unlike any other man you’d met before, so delectably unique. The more you learned of him, the more traits he begrudgingly revealed of himself you found him bearable and quite tortured. Along the way you got it into your mind that perhaps all he needed was a true friend, or someone to heal whatever tortured him so. Was it silly? Perhaps.

 Over the last weeks, his distance, aloofness, and complete avoidance of you of course changed your perspective of him entirely. You had begun to see how silly you were during those weeks of the season where you paraded around with him in hopes of steering prospective suitors away from the both of you. It was clear he was suffering from the ghosts he carried with him, and no one could save any man from that torment, he himself would have to best them.

 Here he was though, sitting across from you taking care of you with such gentleness it made your heart ache. His actions were not hurried, they were the opposite, it seemed as if he wished this moment to stretch on for as long as possible. Even the way he spoke telling you news from the residents of the acreage, well wishes for your health and the distinction between what the residents did for the land was different.

 His tone was softer, there seemed to be a calm melody to his words that relaxed you. It had been weeks since you felt this at ease with him. It was an ease that you did not worry what he was thinking of you or if he disliked you. In this moment you could read him clearly. He was behaving like a man who actually cared about his wife. You would be lying if you said having him there didn’t make you happier.

 Once breakfast and your medicine were finished you rang the bell for your maids, wishing for a bath.

 “Open water is forbidden while recovering.”

 You sighed at Simon’s words dropping your shoulders in disappointment. You’d gained an affinity to regular bathing. There was something peaceful of sitting in scented warm water and being left alone with your thoughts and the sunlight.

 “Yes, my lord, my lady?”

 “Worry not, Mrs. Butler,” you informed.

 “Mrs. Bulter, please begin preparations for the duchess’ evening medicine.”

 “Yes, my lord.”

 “Also, warm a basin of water and bring it here please.”

 “Yes, sir.”

 You were curious what he needed the water for but did not question him. He held up two books before you with a smile on his face.

 “Idealistic poetry or swashbuckling tales of adventure?”

 You smiled and leaned against the wooden headboard. “Only if this swashbuckling adventure you speak of is of a heroine and not a hero.”

 Simon chuckled. “I dare say I have learned my lesson and have steadfastly filled the library with plenty of tales of heroines thrust into in a variety of adventure, some more lewd that genteel company would not dare speak of.”

 Your eyes widened as you gently swat at his arm. “Simon!”

 Again, he chuckled. “Forgive me my lady, a swashbuckling adventure it is. Are you comfortable?”

 “Quite.”

 “Then we begin. “Ahoy, who goes there,” Lady Philomena Vanquest shouted with her sword in hand.”

 You sighed watched him as he read to you. Within the first few pages your eyes closed and you envisioned the story playing out before you. His voice serving as the perfect tool to bring everything to life. His voice was easily your favorite thing about him. He had a voice that could work magic on a lady in the dark pressed against a wall--the voice that could seduce even the most unwilling bedfellow. His voice easily conjured feelings of lust and desire and it had been this way from the very beginning.

 “Jamilla? Jamilla.”

 Your eyes fluttered open and there he was peering at you with concern. The sun that was once beaming in the room was slowly disappearing.

 “Are you well?”

 You moaned then sat up. “I fell asleep.”

 “You did. I did not know my voice bored you so to catapult you into unconsciousness,” Simon teased.

 “I promise it does not.”

 “No?”

 Your eyes met and locked. “No,” you whispered.

 Simon smiled then nodded. “Good to hear.”

 A knock at the door brought both of your heads to watch Mrs. Butler, Bridget and Leesil walk in, each carrying different things. Mrs. Butler carried a trey of clothes, Bridget a basin, and Leesil a stack of fresh clothing and small glass bottles.

 “What is this?”

 “While I cannot in good faith allow you to submerge yourself into water, I can offer a compromise,” Simon said motioning for the items to be put down.

 The steam from the large basin told you it was freshly heated. Across the surface of the water rose, daisy, peony, lilac, sweet briar petals danced while filling the room with the aroma of the garden you loved to spend your time in.

 “My lady, I have also added the honeysuckle and jasmine oils you enjoy,” Bridget added.

 A smile spread across your face as your heart warmed. “Thank you.”

 “I take it this option is to your liking?”

 “Yes, very much so.”

 “Good. Thank you everyone, you may leave.”

 Alarm rushed through you at the meaning of his words. Did he intend to stay as you did it yourself or would he do it himself?

 “Seeing as this terrible predicament is my fault entirely, I offer my services. Tisn’t been a fortnight since we married and already you are battling illness. I fear your mother and brothers would skin me alive.”

 “Twas I who--,” you began only for Simon to cut you off, claiming the blame for himself once again. Accepting defeat, you nodded.

 “Thank you for your consideration.”

 “Bridget you may stay to assist.”

 “My lord,” Bridget replied.

 You watched Simon roll the sleeves of his half unbuttons white shirt and dip his hand into the basin to swirl the water around. He did it so slowly that your eyes could not look away. When he dipped a clean cloth into the water, the flower petals clung to it. Once he’d wrung the water out, he came closer and brought the cloth to slowly wipe your face with gentle strokes.

 Your senses elated from the smells enveloping you. They should have calmed you, made you feel at ease but the way your heart was rapidly thudding in your chest said they were doing the opposite. However, you believed the culprit this time was not the flowers but the nearness of your husband as he for the first time assisted you with something so intimate as a wipe down.

 You wondered if he could hear your heart. Could he hear the horse hoofs’ gallops going off inside of you as loudly as you heard them? He dipped the cloth into the water again and repeatedly his actions then brought the cloth to your neck. Everywhere he trailed the cloth, the heat from the water soothed your muscles taking some of the ache of your ordeal away. When you felt him slip to the back of your neck you lowered your head giving him easier access. The feel of his fingertips along the bone at the back of your neck had you gasping and clutching the blankets across your lap.

 Simon slowly brought the cloth around and dipped inside the lite material of your shift to your shoulder. As he went over it a few times goosebumps broke out over your flesh.

 “Bridget,” Simon uttered, his voice sounded clouded, as if he had to force it out.

 You wanted to look at him so badly, wanted to see if his face gave anything away to how he was feeling or what he was thinking, but you could not. Something inside of you prevented it. As Simon busied his hands in the basin again, Bridget came to your side of the bed and began lifting the shift you wore off of your body replacing it with a lite muslin cloth.

 It was then your heart beating really took off. You were now nude in front of him for the second time and this time was not any less nerve wracking. Albeit this time you were still covered, even the thin muslin left little to the imagination. suddenly an image of your nude body underneath Simon’s came to mind. His lips were pressed against yours as was every inch of his hard, lean and powerful body. The feel of cool air brought you back to see your lower half exposed to Simon’s sight. The muslin rested atop you, but he brushed it aside revealing one leg. Bringing the heated cloth to your ankle he slowly wiped upward then down only to do it again and again until he wiped all around. Your belly was in flight and your heart was seconds away from bursting. How could one man elicit such a strong reaction?

 You watched as the cloth returned to your knee and trail a torturously slow path up your thigh. When Simon’s hand dipped to your inner thigh you noticed a shake. Bringing your eyes to him, you saw the focus on his features. It was as if he were pressing every inch of your skin to memory to revisit later. You could not help but wonder when later he would think of this? In bed perchance?

 When his hand made it several inches up your inner thigh he retreated and moved to your other leg. You watched every move he made but not because you did not trust him to respect you, but because you wanted to remember this for your own revisit. You wanted to watch his hands roam across your body as you envisioned the cloth not there.

 After Simon finished your lower half a new basin that mirrored the first came. On Bridget’s instruction, you leaned forward revealing your bare back for him to wipe. The chance of his fingers raking down your back made you arch, dipping it inward. A groan escaped Simon then, it was a groan that made a part of you that you’d never knew of awaken. It felt like part of you deep inside your gut had fallen and it ached. Oh, how it ached.

 Simon brought the cloth up and again his fingertips made a trail. This time that ache made you moan. Simon sighed out suddenly sending a puff of air across your flesh. Another image came to mind of the same thing happening only along your breast. That made you press your fingertips to your lips. Were these memories? Dreams?

 “My lady.”

Looking to your right you met Simon’s eyes, but he did not speak. You saw the action he inquired in his eyes. Consent. Hesitating you took several breaths, none of them worked to slow your heart, none of them helped to calm your nerves. Your governess’ words rang in your head.

 “Ones husband is entitled to look upon his wife in any capacity he chooses.”

 Before now you’d always wondered just what she meant. Look upon how? Now you understood. Your throat was dryer than barren land in the prime heat of the summer months. You swallowed then slightly cringed hearing a small gulp echo around you. He must think you such a naïve wallflower, you thought. He didn’t budge, he just waited and waited and waited for you to grant him said consent. biting your bottom lip, you chewed at it until you were certine it was raw. Then you released the muslin you grasped so tightly at. The fabric fell to bunch in your lap revealing you in the setting sun’s light to your husband. As it fell you felt his warmed breath brush against your newly exposed breasts.

 Before it was candlelight he’d seen you and from a distance. They both afforded you some mystery but now he was inches away from you with ample light. He could look as he willed. You watched Simon’s eyes lower and slowly rake over your bodice. Every second his jaw jumped showing the definition of his jawline. He was handsome from the front but from the side—his profile was a thing of beauty.

 As he dipped the cloth into the basin again you heard him mumble a curse, you’d heard plenty a time.

 “Blast it.”

 When he raised the cloth to your collar you held your breath. It was not intentional but you felt the only way to get through this without leaping off of the bed either into his lap or out the door was to restrict your brain of oxygen so it would decrease its ability to think. It was perfectly logical, you theorized. The folly in your thinking did not occur to you until halfway through when you realized Simon’s movements were so slow, so torturous that he hadn’t even made it past your collar before white spots danced behind your eyes.

 “Breathe Jamilla,” Simon whispered.

 On command you did just that and that was when you felt the cloth swipe across your breast. Immediately, you felt your nipple pebble as another huff of warm breath skirt across your skin. Simon wiped over, around and under your breast then did the same to the other before dipping the cloth down the center of your body to your stomach.

 Alarm rushed through you. Was he really planning on going that far? Your governess had not given you any tips or information about this. Was he going to touch you? The anticipation made you shiver and just when you were certain you would shoot off the bed into the air, Simon’s hand stopped just below your navel. His eyes were squeezed closed, jaw clenched tightly and hand shaking. Seconds later, he pulled away and held the cloth to Bridget.

 “You can assist the madam better than I.”

 With that, he abruptly stood beside the bed then bowed his head to you.

 “I bid you farewell, my lady. I shall return for dinner—if you will have me.”

 For far too long the silence stretched in the room when Simon’s eyes met yours and his thick brow shot up you realized you’d been sitting there incapable of speech. A nod was all you could muster. Simon’s eyes dipped to your bare breasts and again his jaw went haywire. He turned then strode to the door leaving you alone with Bridget, a body full of anxious energy and a head full of thoughts definitely not suitable for a woman from genteel society. 

One thing was clear, within these images you were having and the current encounter there was one commonality—he had not persisted. He had in fact pulled away from you. He really did not want you at all—in any capacity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glossary:

Term “One and Six”: In Regency Era it was common among some to refer to ages over single digits as both numbers. EX: 16 = one and six. Of course, this isn’t always the case, it would depend on the region and the class of people.

Hysteria: Commonly referenced in Regency time which we in modern times would call panic. Could also be referenced to regency word Vapors which is usually when someone is going through a “panic attack” with the hyperventilating, agitation and or bouts of fainting.

Banyan: A men’s dressing robe usually worn at home. Think of a woman’s robe but for men. Could be elaborately designed, thick, or as thin as preferred.

Sennight: A time lasting one week.

Blazes: Euphemism for hell or the devil.

Blast: Equivalent to the modern terms sh** or damn.

Sod It: Equivalent to the modern statement "F**k it" or "Damn it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[littlejuicebox]

The sky responded, blue and silver bonded

-----

Chapter number: Five

Themes: BG3, slow burn, original female character x astarion, dialogue heavy, canon adjacent behavior, angst, feelings realization, trauma, the slighest of smuts in this one

Masterlist: Click here.

Song inspiration: "Blue and Silver" - Lower Dens

Notes: A little angsty, a little smutty. I'm obsessed with these two. I'm nervous to write a full out scene because I've never done one and the thought is terrifying to me. :)

Rating: Mature 18+

-----

It was evening when Astarion finally came out of his trance. His body was so tired, even after a full day of rest. He considered remaining in his tent until another merciful wave of sleep came to him, but the crackle of the campfire and its comforting glow lured the rogue from the confines of his tent. Everyone besides the little bird sat around the flame, all in various stages of their dinner, the distant sounds of bog creatures and the whimpers of a sleeping Scratch the only noise between them.

“How is she?” The pale-elf asked, his gut churning once again, unsure if he actually wanted to know the answer. He settled on a stump next to Wyll, where Scratch lay sleeping between the two men, but his attention was focused on the Shar-worshipper.

Shadowheart eyed him cautiously on the other side of the flame. She took a slow deep breath, almost as if it were her final attempt to delay delivering any news to Astarion. The woman shook her head and let out the breath in a shudder as everyone else in the circle suddenly became very interested in their food.

“Not good. She’s concussed; she vomited twice and keeps calling for someone named Kol in her slumber.” Shadowheart gave a cough as her voice began to crack. “I think her right eye is…. unsalvageable and her left eye will take a few days to heal. The confuson will be there for a few days, as well.”

All at once, Astarion felt as if he’d been the one stabbed by the Gur; he was greeted by another vile churn of his now-empty stomach. The silence of his campmates set him on edge -- 'How is nobody concerned by this?' -- and he snapped, unable to contain his frustration any longer and tongue lashing out to wound the messenger.

“What do you mean you can’t save her eye?! You aren’t trying hard enough, Shadowheart! Some god forsaken cleric you are… or are your tales of Shar’s power actually just fake and useless FUCKING propaganda!” He spat the words into the silence and was met with a swift blade pressed to his neck by none other than Lae’zel. Had the pale-elf not been blinded by rage and secretly hoping for a fight to release some of the tension housed in his body, he would’ve laughed at this interesting development.

“The only reason she’s in that tent is because that Gur was looking for you… or did you forget?” The Githyanki hissed, dark eyes filled with disgust. “And how many more monster-hunters will come our way because our leader stupidly insists on protecting you. I think we should all just cut ties with you... and with her.”

Astarion sneered at the Gith, pushing his neck forward, calling her bluff. “Did you forget, Lae’zel," He spat, scarlet eyes daggers as he met the alien's gaze. "That it was Wren who shot you down from that cage when your precious Shadowheart wanted to leave you to die? I will sooner kill you for your ungratefulness than watch you abandon her, you cockroach."

Karlach was on her feet now, forming a t-shape with her hands. “Timeout! Oi! No one is killing anyone and no one is slicing any necks and no one is leaving anyone behind. Not today.” She approached her campmates, sighing heavily. “Look. We all need to get some rest and formulate a plan tomorrow… together. It’s been too much excitement for one day and none of us can think straight.”

At this, Lae'zel swiftly lowered her blade from the vampire's neck with a hissed “tch.” She spun around and stamped toward her tent, tossing her dagger at the practice dummy where it sliced into the canvas and remained. The green woman ducked into her tent and then closed it off to the outside world, thwarting the hopes of any nighttime visitors.

The remaining camp members sat in tense silence for a moment before shrugging and also turning in for the night, leaving a clattering of bowls and spoons in their wake. That left Astarion alone with the dog, who had woken up during all the clamor and sat next to him, panting heavily.

Shadowheart, to her credit, had remained the longest, desperate to express something she couldn’t find the words for. The expressions she wished for never came, so instead she sighed and clasped her hands in prayer as she addressed the vampire.

“I am trying, Astarion. But I cannot work miracles.” She muttered, voice cracking again, before she heaved another stressed sigh and headed to Wren’s tent, focused on performing one last exam prior to bed.

Scratch placed his injured maw on Astarion’s lap. Initially, the rogue wanted to recoil at the smelly, hot breath the dog coated his leg in, but decided to leave the creature be. Gods. He desperately wanted to go to Wren’s tent and speak to her, but Shadowheart was already there, and the vampire was unsure if his stomach could face what was sure to be a horrible sight. Guilt and fear settled into his chest, their roots taking hold and twisting around his heart, sharp pangs hitting him every time he took a breath. He remained on that stump with Scratch until the last embers of the campfire dwindled, signaling the rogue that it was time to force himself into a trance and fall into the numbing void.

-----

Wren’s consciousness found itself warped in a hazy state somewhere at the intersection between reality, dreams, and memory for the next few days. The ranger startled awake the day after the Gur encounter to a stressed Shadowheart stripping Wren of her filthy, blood-stained tunic, which the cleric had declared a lost cause. Unable to protest due to the bile rising in her mouth, the honey-eyed half-elf had let the other woman undress her down to her knickers. Then, she vomited, and passed out once again.

Kol came to her in a dream that night… except, it wasn’t actually Kol. The dream guardian’s face was same, those piercing eyes so comforting and familiar, but there was something strange about the way he carried himself. She’d grabbed his hand, her subconscious state desperate to find comfort, and dream-Kol told her that he was here to protect her. He’d said she needed to embrace the potential of the parasite to save the fate of Faerun before telling her to wake and promising she would feel better in the morning.

The following morning — or was it the morning after that? Wren became more conscious of the fact that she couldn’t see out of either eye. She noted with panic that the right side was completely pitch black, but in the left she saw flashes of light and shadow. The ranger mentioned as much, choking back tears of fear and frustration, to a solemn Shadowheart. The Shar-worshipper had done nothing but hum in response and cover both Wren’s eyes with a cold, putrid-smelling salve.

Gale came by many times throughout the days to spoon feed her meals. Wren found she was never more thankful for Gale and his ramblings about Tara and Waterdeep than she was now. She was content to be the sounding board and let him chatter on excitedly, his loquacious nature making is so that she did not have to fill the silence. Between her meals, she fell into sweaty sleep, sometimes dreaming of Kol, sometimes dreaming of Astarion (where was he?), and sometimes having the strange sensation that she was experiencing one of her campmate’s current points of view as the tadpole wriggled in her brain.

In her fitful periods of a sleep, she saw Lae’zel brush strands of hair from a worn and desperate looking Shadowheart, tears in the cleric’s eyes. She saw Karlach was playing fetch with Scratch as hand's that must've been Gale's prepped oatmeal for breakfast. And she saw a locked cabinet flicked open by a pale, dexterous hand, the contents of that cabinet not revealed to her during her slumber.

“For the love of Shar, go in there, you absolute git. You’ve been pacing around here nearly an hour!”

“Oi mate, it’s time! Grow some bollocks.”

Wren woke in mid-afternoon light to three beings whispering urgently outside her tent. She found, with some relief, that her left eye had finally been released from its previous prison of two bulged eye sockets and she could see well enough to reacquaint herself with her surroundings. She desperately needed a bath, the smells of dried blood, stale sweat, and bile clung to her in thick wafts, and her hair had turned into a dried clump of tangles.

Suddenly, Astarion burst into the tent, a tensed coil of jittery energy, and Wren felt her body burn with embarrassment; she silently wished the feeling would ignite her and burst her into flames on the spot. The ranger woman was not particularly vain — spending long stretches of time in the wild without a mirror or civilization had that effect — but she knew she looked ghastly and smelled horrible. And Astarion, well… he looked as he always did, nearly flawless, though his face seemed more sunken, and his eyes were circled by blue-purple bags of sleeplessness.

“Hello, darling.” He murmured, still standing, fiddling with a small package of wrapped cloth in his hand. “I… well… this for you." He waved the package in his hand before crouching down and placing it in Wren's lap. "Shadowheart told me she had to dispose of your tunic, and I thought that perhaps you might appreciate being covered by more than your undergarments while everyone insists on making calls to your tent."

Wren took the package he offered quietly, still painfully aware of her appearance as she undid the jute string holding the plain cloth together. The dressings broke apart to reveal a beautiful azure chemise. The woman's vision was still blurred since she could only see out of the left eye, but she had enough eyesight to appreciate how beautiful — and expensive — the gift was. Her stomach sank with guilt… they weren’t exactly loaded with cash.

The half-elf stared down at the piece of clothing, her bruised and battered fingers running lines along the golden floral embroidery stitched across the hem of the square, flounced neckline. Wren almost laughed at the extravagance of the nightdress. In her past, she'd always favored practicality, which meant sleeping in the nude or a garment that was past its prime for daytime use... fancy stitching and dyes were altogether foreign. She sighed, “Thank you, Astarion… but I think... well, perhaps you should return it, it isn’t—“

“Return it!” Astarion cut in with a good-natured chortle, sides of his eyes crinkling with humor, his head tilted back to look at the ceiling. “Little bird… you want me to return it to the charred remains of Waukeen’s Rest? I won't hear another word of that ridiculous droll; I’m sure Counsellor Florrick won’t miss it a bit."

“Counsellor Florrick?”

Astarion waved his hand dismissively. “You’ve missed quite a bit, darling. We couldn’t very well stay here and be sitting ducks, so we split up to do our own scouting and gather information while you were under recovery. Karlach and I pulled some Counsellor out of a burning building yesterday -- well, really, as you can expect it was Karlach that did all the work -- and today I returned to pillage the remains. We’d spent most of our gold purchasing what Shar’s favorite cleric needed for your salves, you see, and I guess I took a note from your book. This was there.”

Wren sighed in both relief and frustration, thankful that her gift had not cost them any coin but upset with herself that her healing had drained them near-dry. She made to put her new nightdress on while he moved to place a long-fingered hand on her wrist.

“Ah, darling. Perhaps you should consider a bath before you dress.”

His tone was polite, but the implication made Wren’s face flush once again with embarrassment. All she could do was nod.

“Let me go get Shadowheart, then. Wait here, little bird.”

-----

The bath somehow turned into an a group affair. Everyone was excited to see their leader back on her own feet and to share the tales of adventure she’d missed in her dazed state. Wren found herself thankful to be covered in Astarion’s shirt, which he had taken off and thrust at her in a snap decision. Initially she’d refused, considering the offer far too intimate for their current relationship status (whatever that was) but he’d responded with a roll of his scarlet eyes and a huffy but convincing, “Your body is yours to show off or cover however you wish, darling, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

As one would think, the bog wasn’t the best place to find clean water suitable for a bath. So, Gale and Wyll double-teamed the task of readying bathwater with a bit of spellcasting and transmutation practice. It was quite a clever and efficient affair. Gale would conjure water, Wyll would heat it, and then Karlach would haul the bucket over to Shadowheart who, unsurprisingly, treated bathtime as if it were a surgical procedure. Lae’zel and Astarion stood begrudgingly on either side of the cleric as she instructed them to hand her different sponges, soaps, combs, salves and bandages that she used on the ranger with a heavy hand. Wren was sat on a tree stump, utterly at the mercy of the Shar-lover, and forced to endure her as she scraped, scrubbed, primped, and primed... cleansing the ranger of all matter of filth and potentially a few layers of skin.

The little bird’s eyes kept wandering to Astarion when he turned to retrieve another item that Shadowheart requested of him. She noted, with a mix of quickly stifled horror and shock, that his back was covered in a large, raised scar. Wren’s mind wandered through her memories, and she noted that she hadn’t seen the vampire shirtless until now. Camp life held different rules when compared to society, and while the group was far from a nudist colony, it hadn’t been unusual to catch glimpses of barred torsos and legs among her counterparts. She now understood why Astarion always went hunting while everyone else bathed.

As she worked, Shadowheart revealed that she, Gale, and Wyll had managed to infiltrate the Goblin Camp and do some reconnaissance. The shar-worshipper laughed as she explained how she’d disguised herself as a drow and waltzed right in with their posse. She described the interaction they had at the entrance of the gate, spurred on by their tadpoles, and recollected every detail about the True Souls and where they were located within the temple. Unfortunately, no one had any further information about Halsin. To Wren's surprise, the gang had already killed one True Soul named Priestess Gut and tipped her body off of a cavern edge... astoundingly, this had been Gale's idea. The goblins noted Gut's absence but without any evidence of struggle or a body to be found, they'd shrugged it off as her usual leave of business.

“Gut!” Astarion had interjected with incredulity. “The goblin’s name was Gut. How ridiculous.” Which had made Wren burst into laughter that quickly made her wince and stifle herself to avoid further pain. The vampire responded her laughter with a small smile before Shadowheart barked another order his way and roped him back into the task at hand.

Wyll and Gale recalled with shock and horror the beating that Shadowheart willingly took from Abdirak in the name of Loviatar. Wren noted with surprise that Lae’zel lamented her inability to witness the cleric’s penance, since the Githyanki been forced to become Wren’s babysitter while everyone else had all the fun. Wren noted that the usual edge to the Lae'zel's voice had been replaced with a touch of excitement... or perhaps arousal. ‘Who would’ve guessed that one.’

As the last rays of sunlight flared across the sky in a beautiful, milky blend of pink and orange, Wren was finally declared clean and dressed in her new nightgown. The ranger’s right eye was covered with a patch, and her hair was lifted into a high ponytail with accent braids. It wasn’t a style she would usually pick for herself, but Shadowheart did seem to prefer high updos. The little bird went along with it, as she was in no position to refuse the bossy Shar-lover. Finally, she was escorted back to her tent by Gale, who informed her of his intent to bring dinner by shortly.

“Her arms and hands work, wizard! It’s just the right eye that doesn’t.” Astarion bristled as he donned his own shirt, which Wren had returned minutes prior. His eyes were narrowed at the human as he pushed his silver curls back and tightened the strings of his shirt.

Wren thanked Gale but informed him that she actually was not hungry and preferred to rest. The wizard, always good-natured and rather receptive, nodded and walked off toward Wyll, who poured them both a glass of wine as they waited for dinner to finish cooking. Slowly, the half-elf ducked into her tent, still adjusting to seeing through one eye and attempting to avoid any sudden movements sending her spinning. She turned to see the vampire watching as she entered her shelter and gestured for him to follow her. Her heart fluttered a beat as he obliged.

-----

“You really don’t remember what happened after you stabbed Gandrel in the eye?” Astarion asked, brow cocked with incredulity. “Darling, you were, by all accounts, amazing… and also quite terrifying.”

He recounted the events to Wren and watched as her eyes — well, eye — widened in shock and terror. A hush fell between them and Astarion whispered the next question, the one that had been on his and everyone else's mind for days.

“Wren... Who is Kol?”

Wren gasped and clasped freckled hands over her mouth but said nothing. The silence stretched between them again. Crickets and frogs sang outside the tent, highlighting the awkward bit of quiet that fell between rogue and ranger. But Astarion wouldn’t relent by moving past the question; he had am inexplicable, visceral need clawing at his psyche. He needed the answer more than he needed to drink blood.

“My husband.”

Time always moved at a strange pace for the vampire. Torture sessions seemed like they lasted decades and his few moments of relative freedom out on the streets of Baldur’s Gate lasted mere seconds. But in this moment, it felt as if the world stopped turning at all. Astarion noted that familiar sensation of nausea rising up again. 'Who knew freedom would cause as much sickness as captivity does.' The nausea flipped to outrage and his lips curled back, fangs bared, tongue ready to cut into the little bird when she continued through a shaky breath.

“He’s dead. I must’ve been calling for him when I was out of it.”

Astarion stopped his insults before they spilled out of his mouth. He was astonished but found he did not desire, in that moment, to hear further details. The revelation, mixed with the fact that he hadn’t hunted anything since Wren had let him bite into her several days prior, had been enough to give him a headache. The silence stretched between them again. To the rogue's surprise, he reached a pale hand to her freckled one and sighed.

“I suppose... well, I guess I’m sorry to hear that, little bird. Now let’s get you into bed. I have to turn in early as it is, I’ll be gone by first light. Shadowheart found some man named Volo at the Goblin Camp and needs me to break him out of his cell, for what, I have no earthly idea. It seems that even with you out of commission, I'll never get away from being forced to play the hero."

Wren's response surprised the vampire entirely. She deftly grabbed the flounced collar of his shirt and pulled him forward into a kiss, practically lunging to meet him. His cold lips crashed to her warm ones, the smell of berries and cinnamon eerily reminiscent of the moment they'd shared a few nights prior. Wren poured so much emotion into Astarion’s mouth, extracting an overwhelming wave of emotion from him, that all he could think to do was close his eyes and succumb to her kiss.

The half-elf woman's shaking, freckled hands drifted up to the vampire's face and then brushed along to pinna of his pointed ears, shocking a gasp from his mouth and the sudden rush of blood into his ears. In his previous encounters under Cazador’s control, he’d never crossed paths with someone that dared to perform such an intimate gesture on a one-night stand. She’d thrown him off script again and ignited a part of his psyche that had buried itself beneath layers of rote mechanics and one-liners for 200 years. The vampire grasped desperately at her forearm in response, silently urging her to touch him again, but froze in place when the little bird winced in pain and retracted from the kiss, pulling him out of the spell.

Astarion opened his eyes and gently pulled Wren’s hands away from his face; half of his heart regretted the action the moment he performed it, desperate to feel her warmth along his cheek once more. She was staring at him, cheeks flushed. She was a vision in the new nightdress he'd given her, and the new hairstyle Shadowheart had chosen for the ranger gave an enticing view of the neck and collarbone. The vampire stunned himself when he planted a soft kiss on Wren’s knuckle before placing her hands in her own lap. “Perhaps we should postpone more… athletic activities, little bird.” He murmured, offering her a raised eyebrow and a good-natured twinkle in his scarlet eyes to ease the sting of rejection. “After all, Shadowheart will have my head if I undo all her hard work. And I do believe her green guard dog would love any excuse to rip my neck out.”

This wasn’t a simple game anymore. Everything that had happened and everything she shared twisted his original plan of manipulation to feel much more… well, wrong. Part of him wished to go back to the time when he knew nothing of his marks apart from their desperation for his body. It had been astoundingly easy back then.

But Wren wasn’t an easy mark. Astarion was sure he could not compete with the ghost of her dear, dead husband. Surely, she would see his true colors and reject him in the end. And what was the point of exerting all that effort? He needed someone that would follow him blindly to Cazador.

“Goodnight, darling.” The pale elf whispered as he turned on his heel and stalked towards his tent, not waiting for a reply. He burst into his own shelter, desperate to be far away from the spell that little bird had him under and relieved of the painful straining within his trousers. What an idiot spawn he was, that the slightest brush against his ear had sent him into such a frenzied state. A few urgent tugs of his trousers to force them down and the vampire grasped desperately at his arousal. Astarion used his deft hand to stroke wantonly at his member, gasping as the release came. His head tilted back, he saw a flash of Wren’s scarred lip and freckled collar bone ripping through his mind as he rode the wave of his climax.

Either she was going to be his undoing, or he was going to be hers.

[0oh-negative]

The amount of porn blogs that keep following me....and I keep blocking,is mildly alarming considering I just post sfw selfies and gush over a fictional vampire.... Like what is even happening here.

Anyway, guess who got off their lazy ass and posted a new chapter to folie a Toi!! I did :)) if your following me,go read it!

I'd love love love feed back :))

[clumsy-jiminie]

ɪɴᴇᴠɪᴛᴀʙʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ | ᴘᴊᴍ | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰɪᴠᴇ

 ❝ ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱʏ ʜᴜʀᴛꜱ ❞

↣ summary :: Kiara Smith had dreamed of true love for as long as she could remember. from being obsessed with the Disney princesses who found affection in the strangest situations to dressing up as a bride from kindergarten to fourth grade. it was the only thing she ever truly desired, so much so that a pleasant smile and kind eyes could have her smitten in seconds. right when she thought she found the one, a chance encounter with Park Jimin—the city’s famously perfect fuck boy with a smile so warm and a heart of ice—has her feeling quite the opposite. he knocks her off her axis and derails her life as she knows it, yet the universe seems to have another plan for the two.

↣ rating :: 18+

↣ genre :: fluff, angst, smut, e2l, slow burn

↣ pairing :: business owner!jimin x fem!artist!oc ft. taehyung

↣ word count :: 3.8k

↣ chapter warnings :: mature language, public displays of affection, angst with resolve, mentions of anxiety, ⚠️ verbal abuse - light but still not ok ⚠️

↣ next :: previous :: series m.list ↢

if you have any questions, comments, or concerns PLEASE don't hesitate to message me or send me an ask! my inbox is always open. 💖

"yeah, I got issues, and one of them is how bad I need you."

-  ɪꜱꜱᴜᴇꜱ, ᴊᴜʟɪᴀ ᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟꜱ -

It only took a few days before everything returned to normal between the couple. No apology was issued, but they continued as if the argument had never happened. That's how things typically were with the two. Arguments would always fade away without them talking any further about it. It wasn't something Kiara particularly enjoyed, but after trying to talk things out, it would only result in restarting the cycle; she settled for his method instead. It kept them both happy in the end, anyway. At least, that's what she thought. The conversation would always sit with her a bit longer than him. So, while he was normal, touching her and smiling, she had to force herself to keep up the facade. It was tiring but a better outcome than arguing all over again.

Kiara stared at her phone while slowly pushing the shopping cart through the aisle. Her arms rested against the cart's bar, leaning against it comfortably as she looked through the notes on her phone. It was chore day, and chore day also meant grocery shopping day. Usually, she would love to take her time through the store and hopefully find some exciting snacks, but she couldn't wait to get home. She was in the middle of her last piece for her latest collection. The blush pinks, baby blues, and teals were so pretty to her, reminding her of babies and how she wanted a family of her own one day. Three bundles of joy and absolute chaos running around made her excited. She sighed softly, straightening out her spine before feeling gentle resistance. Her brows drew together before she felt slight pressure against her backside.

"Taehyung," she sighed despite the small smile forming on her lips. His hand, placed firmly on her hip, kept her in place as they walked.

"Mm, what?" He responded lazily, eyes fixated on the view of her golden skin peeking out from under her cropped hoodie. The black leggings she wore were no help either. The fabric became so thin when she bent over, stretching to accommodate her round ass. He could almost see the outline of her thong. 

"What are you doing?"

"Appreciating my girlfriend. What did you think?"

"Oh, I don't know...." She stopped suddenly, halting Taehyung as well. His hips pressed into hers, causing him to bite down on his lower lip briefly. "Someone may think you're trying to start something in public." Taehyung hummed as his mind was far from his current reality, somewhere in a realm where public indecency wouldn't get you fined. He returned back to Earth when Kiara decided to turn around and face him. She tilted her head back, looking up at him as she bit back the smirk that desperately wanted to spread on her lips. "You do know we're in public, right?" The sass that fell from her lips only made Taehyung wish to play more. He rested both of his hands on the cart behind her, essentially caging her in.

If there was one thing she could do all day, it was look at Taehyung. He was so gorgeous. Model worthy. Even as he had his round-framed silver glasses resting on his straight nose, she wanted nothing more than his lips on her.

"Nope," he grinned.

"Dangerous."

"You love it." He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, causing her to inhale deeply. Her hands rested on his chest before sliding up to meet behind his neck. Warmth spread through Kiara's system despite them being in the freezer aisle. One of his hands left the cart to rest against her back, pulling her in closer.

"Uh, we're gonna need a clean-up on aisle 14." A familiar voice suddenly rang through Kiara's ears, causing her to pull away from her boyfriend. She glanced around before meeting with the owner of the voice, a smile forming on her lips. "It looks like someone wet themselves," Momo teased the girl with a playful smirk.

"You're so lame!" Hoseok heckled while he reached into the freezer, chuckling softly.

"You knew this, and you're still choosing to marry me," Momo stuck her tongue out at the man, who did the same to her. Afterward, she directed her attention to Kiara. "But seriously, you should really get a room." She placed her hand on her chest as she leaned in, her voice dropping to a whisper. "There are children around!"

"Fuck them kids," Taehyung quickly said as he wrapped his arms around Kiara. He leaned down to rest his chin on her shoulder. "They gotta learn about the birds and the bees somehow."

"Taehyung, you disgust me," Momo scowled. The man winked at her, and Momo recoiled as if he had reached out to touch her. Hoseok then returned, tossing some frozen fruit pops into the cart.

Kiara's eyebrows furrowed as she scanned over the couple's cart. There were some colorful party plates, cups, hats, and napkins. There were also a few bags of chips and liters of various sodas. "You guys having a party or something?" She asked while resting her hands on Taehyung's arms.

"One of our students is turning eight today!" Hoseok beamed as if it was his child.

"She's the absolute cutest, and she's going to go far. Right, Hobi?" Momo added, gleaming as well.

Hoseok quickly nodded. "Yep, AIM has itself its first prodigy."

Taehyung furrowed his brows as he stood up. "AIM? Is that...."

"Art In Motion! The dance studio we work at!" Momo answered. Taehyung made a small o with his mouth, slowly nodding his head.

"It's not like they don't talk about it all the time," Kiara teased, earning a squeeze from him.

"You guys should come in sometime!" Momo said before walking over to one of the freezers. "We teach duets on some days."

Kiara quickly shook her head. "You know damn well I don't dance."

"I know you don't dance sober," Momo side-eyed her, causing the girl to roll her eyes.

"Yeah, I was about to say; I know a certain dance you do, but it's only when you come back from bottomless mimosas," Taehyung grinned, earning an elbow to his rib. "Don't hurt me because I'm right!" The group laughed together before bidding their farewells. Kiara grabbed the cart once more to continue on their shopping adventure.

"So, Tae...," Kiara drawled as she trailed behind the man. He hummed while looking at an item on the shelves, encouraging her to continue. "I was looking at houses out here, which are really expensive. Do we have to move out this year?"

"Do you want that ring?" He responded as he tossed the item into the cart. Her eyes went wide as her heart sunk into her chest. She assumed that was why she wasn't engaged yet, but to have him say it so casually. To have him say it as if it was something she had to earn. She could hear her best friends yelling at her to leave him, to turn around and not look back.

But she loved him.

"Taehyung!" A man suddenly called out, ripping his attention away from Kiara. Both of them turned to look at the interruption. A smile formed on Taehyung's lips while Kiara's eyes narrowed. Directly ahead of them was none other than Jimin. Kiara huffed, trying to pry her eyes away from the man, but she couldn't for some reason, maybe because it was the first time she'd seen him dressed down—sporting a dark purple hoodie with a denim jacket over it and a pair of black sweatpants that slimmed to a cuff around his ankle. His hair looked messy despite him trying to hide it under his hood—fluffy blonde strands sticking out like he had just rolled out of bed and decided not to style it. How could one look just as good dressed down?

"You stalking me, Jimin?" The brunette teased as he went in to hug the man.

"For fucks sake," Kiara sighed before her eyes went wide. Taehyung shot her a warning glare, making her muscles stiffen as she looked down at the linoleum floor. She was usually good at keeping her thoughts to herself. 

Jimin looked at Kiara for the first time today, and his eyebrows piqued in interest. Was it wrong to be lusting over a man's girlfriend right in front of him, especially when you're trying to rekindle a relationship with said man? Yes, yes it was. He possessed enough self-control not to react physically but couldn't deny that she looked good. She had an impeccable style. Even when she dressed down, she stole the room. Instead, he feigned an eye roll. He wanted to do nothing but push those buttons of hers and watch her eyes be set ablaze with fire. But he wouldn't be able to handle that switch to fondness whenever she eventually looked at Taehyung, at least not today. He peeled his eyes away from the girl to look at the brunette, a warm smile forming on his lips. "Isn't it funny how small the world becomes after bumping into each other once?"

"Oh, it's hilarious," Kiara mumbled quietly this time, sarcasm dripping from her words. Boy, she wasn't making it easy for Jimin. He had a thousand and one remarks for her sassy little quip, but he'll save those for another day. 

The two men proceeded to catch up while Kiara focused on anything besides the blonde before her. Honestly, what were the odds? There are a million different grocery stores on Long Island alone, and this is the one he chooses? It hasn't even been a week since their little dinner encounter. The universe wanted to see some drama in her life as if she didn't have enough. What the universe needed to do was send signs to the tall blockhead so she could get proposed to before selling her soul for a house. 

As much as she loved that Taehyung was reconnecting and making new friends, she didn't want to spend another second in this vicinity. Jimin's aura was sickeningly addictive. He oozed charisma, and it pissed her off that she wanted to have a conversation with him, to be included. She stared at the back of Taehyung's head, eyes sensing daggers in hopes he turned around. Instead, her amber eyes locked with the blonde's. His eyes flickered up and down subtly before a mischievous smirk tugged at the corner of his plump lips. He looked away, assumingly giving Taehyung his full attention once again. Kiara's brows furrowed. What was that look for? Did he think he had a one-up on her?

Enough was enough.

Kiara stepped forward, nudging Taehyung with the cart. He suddenly stopped talking, pausing momentarily before looking at her. "Babe, can we go? I'm getting a little tired." She lied through her teeth, her voice as sweet as candy. She had to pull out all the cards to pull Taehyung away from this so-called friend. What if Jimin was using Taehyung now to get some sick inside scoop on her? She couldn't have that.

"In a minute, I just want to smooth out these details for the next guys night." His voice was colder than the freezer aisle they were just in. He turned back around, fully facing Jimin again. 

She sighed in defeat. She knew Taehyung meant no harm, but each second near Jimin felt like an hour. Kiara had no idea what this man was capable of, and that devilish, slick tongue only made things worse. She quickly glanced away, hoping to find anything she could fiddle with as a minor distraction. Touching random food items seemed too obvious, so she opted for her cell phone. She pulled it out, sending a quick text to the group chat.

Kiara: guess who just pulled up to your local grocery store Kiara: it's your favorite person kookie Jeongguk: JUSTIN BIEBER??? Jeongguk: drop the address NOW Samira: you're an idiot

Kiara pressed her lips in a line, holding back a smile.

Kiara: no it's the blonde from the coffee shop Kiara: I hate it here Jeongguk: do me a favor and throw your shoe at him Jeongguk: specifically the left one Jeongguk: the right one won't do Samira: I second Samira: why the left one tho Jeongguk: so he'll be surprised when I get him with this right hook

Kiara burst into a quiet fit of laughter, using her hand to cover her mouth. She loved her best friends dearly. While she giggled, Taehyung's and Jimin's ears perked up like a dog hearing the word walk, although both for different reasons. 

Taehyung couldn't help but glance at his partner, seeing a wide grin on her lips as her fingers typed away on her phone. Something flared up inside of him, triggering him. It was the same feeling he had from the other night. He couldn't run away this time, so he had to sit with the heavy feeling in his chest and tensed muscles.

Jimin also looked, but he felt something in his chest from the sight. Something warm. Something that made him want to spread his lips and mimic that smile. He couldn't put his finger on it and didn't think he wanted to. He couldn't have that. It felt familiar, and familiarity needed to stay in a locked box in the deepest corner of his mind. Despite it, his eyes twinkled as a mischievous smirk played on his lips. He returned his gaze to Taehyung. "You know, one of my friends is having a game night later in the week. You should definitely come through."

Taehyung's met his eyes, and he pushed down whatever feeling was bubbling in his chest as he smiled at the man. "Definitely! That sounds like fun!"

Kiara was too busy giggling at the messages she received to pay attention to the plans that were made aloud. It wasn't until she felt eyes on her. It made her uneasy, a chill running down her spine as she looked up. Jimin's evil eyes met hers.

"You should bring Kiara along too," Jimin suggested while his eyes remained glued to the girl.

Kiara glared at the blonde. "I would rather jump off the Manhattan Bridge."

Taehyung's eyes went wide, shooting her a look. That look. Kiara couldn't help but cringe, feeling herself shrink into her shoes as she looked down at the ground.

"She'd love to come," Taehyung responded, returning his gaze to Jimin. "We'll be there."

Kiara's head shot up, sending daggers into the back of Taehyung's head. If looks could kill, both men would be casualties right now.

Jimin grinned at the other. "Great! I'll see you then!"

As they bid their farewells, Kiara subtly flipped the blonde off. All Jimin did was smirk playfully, winking at her in response. The girl shivered with disgust. 

After he left, the couple was silent for the rest of their trip. Kiara couldn't understand why Taehyung would think she would want to attend any event with Jimin. She ranted to the man about their horrible first impression and how he ruined her favorite hoodie. Kiara didn't want to fake nice for hours on end; one, it was draining as hell, and two, that prick didn't deserve it. They paid and exited the grocery store. A cloak of silence wrapped around them dropped once they approached Kiara's car. She huffed quietly, almost shaking her head out of pure disbelief. 

"I thought you couldn't stand him," she grumbled.

"I thought you wanted me to make more friends," he countered.

Kiara rolled her eyes, sighing softly as she regretted giving him that push. "I don't want to go to this thing, Tae," she admitted. "I don't even know why he invited me. He's your friend."

"Why can't he be our friend?" He asked while looking at the girl, meeting her eyes.

"I'm not friends with people who don't like me," she deadpanned. She started packing the groceries into the car, exceptionally cautiously placing the bags. She would hate if something got smushed or broken because she grew annoyed.

Taehyung watched as she did so, arms folding over his chest as he leaned against the car. "You don't know that."

"I'm pretty sure you don't call the people you like selfish."

Taehyung shrugged casually, "You got off on the wrong foot, so what? You don't think you could push past that or at least pretend to for me?"

Kiara froze briefly, pressing her lips together as she thought. It's for Taehyung. She would suffer a ten-hour flight full of crying babies for this man, but Jimin was just slightly more insufferable than that. She stopped loading the groceries to look at him. As she opened her mouth to answer, a text notification emitted from her pocket. She wasn't going to look at it, already knowing who it was, but she watched as Taehyung's demeanor changed. The corners of his lips pulled into a frown. He tensed as his eyes narrowed into slits. Before she could even process what was happening, he opened his mouth. All at once, he remembered why he fell silent earlier.

"Give me your phone."

"What?" She chuckled, completely bewildered. He had to be joking. Just two seconds ago, he asked her to play nice, and now this?

"I'm not gonna repeat myself." He held his large hand towards her, like a parent demanding something of their child.

She chuckled again, this time wholly filled with nerves. She instinctively gripped her phone in her hoodie pocket to protect him from the device. "Are you kidding? I'm not giving you my phone."

His eyes narrowed at the shorter girl, letting his hand fall back to his side. "Why? You got something to hide?" Kiara shook her head, opening her mouth to say something, but was promptly cut off. "I saw the way you were smiling at your phone earlier. You got some nasty shit from Jeongguk, huh?"

"What?" Her eyes widen for a moment before narrowing at her partner. "What the fuck are you on about?" Kiara tried keeping herself calm, paying close attention to the tone of her voice, but she thought the days when she had to defend the relationship with her best friend were over.

"Give me your fucking phone, Kiara!" He yelled. The bass in his voice startled her, depth moving straight to her heart and increasing the beat suddenly. She jerked as if someone hit her. Adrenaline coursed through her veins as her breathing quickened. It happened all in an instant. She pulled out her phone and handed it to him without a thought. It was like her body was suddenly on autopilot.

He snatched the device from her, unlocking it without an issue. "I swear to god I do so much for you, for this fucking relationship, just for you to go behind my back and—" As he went through the text history with Jeongguk, all he saw was various memes from inside jokes, opinions of art going back and forth, and the occasional double text. Taehyung's jaw hung loosely briefly before quickly biting his lower lip. He even checked their group chat, but there was nothing besides Samira asking for help with Momo's wedding and the conversation he assumed she was laughing about. No, he couldn't be wrong. He knew what he saw. That smile.... There's no way he could've been wrong. There had to be something, anything, to prove her infidelity. 

But there was nothing.

Taehyung locked Kiara's phone as the silence sat on them like a bag of bricks. He slowly looked at the girl, seeing tears brimming in her warm eyes of amber. Shit, he thought to himself. She was shivering, and he was sure it wasn't from the cold weather. Her chest was heaving like she just finished running a marathon.

"Ki...," his voice softened, barely above a whisper.

"No," she whimpered right before her throat decided to shut. Tears fell from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. She turned from him, loading up the rest of the car with haste. She tried not to make a sound apart from the occasional whimper that slipped past her trembling lips. 

Taehyung sighed quietly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he watched her. "Kiara, please...," he pleaded as she stood upright. She ignored him, walking the cart back to its slot. When she returned, she had all intention of heading straight to the driver's side, but Taehyung's hand wrapping around her wrist stopped her.

She sniffled as she turned to face him. Kiara yanked her wrist from his hand, causing him to sigh. "When is this gonna stop?" She asked as she wiped her wet face with the sleeves of her hoodie. "When will you finally trust me enough to know I wouldn't ever step out on you?" Taehyung pressed his lips together, staring down at the girl. "I fucking love you, Tae, with every fiber of my being. I've loved you for years! But...," the girl trailed off, looking up at the night sky. She couldn't stop the tears, no matter how much she wanted to. Just thinking of the words hurt her.

Taehyung reached for her again, pulling her into his chest. He held her tightly in an embrace while she sobbed into his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered as his hands rubbed her back soothingly. Kiara's cries slowed to a stop. "I'm so sorry. I..., I just get jealous sometimes. I think you'll leave me because I've never seen a bond like you and JK's. I feel like he's in love with you."

"He's my best friend," she mumbled before pulling away from the man. She wiped her nose as she stared down at the ground. "He does love me, but not in the way you love me." She rubbed her eyes once more before looking up at him. The whites of her eyes were now red. Taehyung couldn't help but frown, using his thumb to wipe the remaining tears. She flinched from his touch, looking away from him. "But that isn't an excuse to treat me like that." She took a step back from him. Her warmth left him with the winter cold. "So this jealousy stuff has to stop now."

Taehyung nodded his head quickly. "I'm sorry, I'll try harder." He reached out for her again, and she didn't pull away. He gently stroked her cheek with his thumb while Kiara inhaled deeply, leaning into his touch. "I will be better."

She let out a shaky breath before throwing herself into the man. She pressed her face into his chest, feeling the vibrations from his body as he chuckled. "So, about that game night...." She hummed, waiting for him to continue. "Will you try for me?"

She pulled away enough to look up at him, her warm eyes making his heart skip a beat. "I'll try."

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