Okay as far as I can tell, ive delete all the v-r00n posts I reblogged, saying this again for clarity the insulin post I reblogged is a Scam, do Not give them your money, and let my fuck-up be lesson to everyone to double check blogs before reblogging them, do Not be like me for the love of god
fueling myself with the expectations of others burned bright but shortly -- and eventually, i burned out.
its been a 3 year long battle, searching desperately for something to believe in. for something to give me the meaning that justifies my continued existence.
i often wish i could be religious or spiritual. to have a 2-for-1 cause to live for coupled with an unwavering belief in a brighter future, neatly wrapped up in a bow. (im sure that's not everyones experience with religion though).
but then, i turn and think, maybe its time i become my own god. that i pray to myself, have faith in my own ability to bring about my own good fortune, that i exist to please myself. that maybe, maybe, i could finally have a purpose.