#so I just spent too much time trying to find a photo showing John taking off his shoe so the parrot could sit on his bare foot

[nevereverywhere]

The Beatles and a parrot, A Mad Day Out, 1968

[decaffeinatedcandycane]

Random headcanons: You set their wallpaper of a spicy picture of you

Featuring: Task force 141

Warnings: suggestive, NSFW

Captain John Price:

He rarely unlocks his phone during the day, so you assume it is safe to set his wallpaper to you wearing nothing but his hat, sitting on the bed, legs spread, hands tied in the front with a silky ribbon and one of his cigars between your lips.

You did not account for the fact that sometimes Price shows memes to his team or fact checks stuff in front of others, so you can imagine the shock on his face when he unlocked his phone to show Soap something.

Soap: Sir? Is this-

Price: Yes, it is

The conversation ended there, with the Scotsman leaving the room in a subtle, yet fast manner, trying to hide the forming buldge from his captain, who, on his side noticed everything, but decided not to comment on it, in order not to make the situation more uncomfortable than it already was.

Yes, Soap avoided Price for the entire day and they have never spoke about the incident again. Even though the captain notices his Sergent hungrily eyeing you from time to time, which makes his mind wonder of certain possibilities. (If you are into it)

As for you, you did get your punishment, after you spent 20 minutes laughing at your husband story.

Y/N: Poor Soap

Price: What about me? I had to avoid unlocking my phone all day.

Y/N: You never unlock your phone.

Price: There was not a reason for it, luv.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

This man is phone rotting, whenever he is away from others and has some free time. Whether it is Reddit, Tiktok, or texting you - obsessively, he is on his phone - period.

For his picture you wear a sexy black lingerie, barely covering you and his balaclava. You are sitting on the sofa, with your elbows on your knees, leaning into the front camera, his dog tags hanging from your neck.

Simon goes feral.

He is immediately finding a quiet place from where he can call you and jerk off, while staring at your picture.

He will beg you to praise him, order him around and guide him in what to do and you can say anything - and I mean, anything.

This man is a slut for you. He is a huge switch. When he turns submissive he is completely at your mercy. Just, please, tell this man what to do and how you want him to do it.

Bonus points if you video chat and touch yourself, while edging him. He will try to hold himself back, but if you push him enough, he will cum within minutes.

This is how much power you have over him. Use it wisely.

And yes, Simon will absolutely fuck you stupid the moment he gets home. And will insist on taking pictures together, so he can keep something while on deployment.

Johnny "Soap" Mactavish

He will open his phone in front of Ghost and get lost, staring at the photo of you, hand mindlessly grabbing Simon's tight.

For his picture, you are laying face on the bed, back arched, wearing nothing but tight blue panties with the scottish flag on them. Side boob is slightly showing.

Soap doesn't even register Simon or where his hand is, who is shifting from side to side, but not peeling his eyes off of you, nor removing Soap's hand from his tight.

When the Scottsman finally snap from his trance, he is texting you every spicy thing he can think of and sending you pictures of his, and Simon's buldges with the caprion:

"Look what you did, darling. LT wants to stop for some dinner tonight, now too. Make sure to recreate the picture once we get home. We are gonna put some English in you too."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Another chronic phone user. Gaz is on his phone 23/19. He is obsessed with animal videos and staring at ya'll pictures. Editing and candid photo stuff is his drug.

You warn him in advance that you will send him something, as he has the habit of showing off his editing skills*ahem* your cutesy couple photos *ahem* to either Price, or Laswell.

The last thing you want is to flash his superiors.

So, you tell him to unlock his phone at a specific time and make sure he is alone.

The picture for him is you wearing his sunglasses, naked, on the balcony. You are sat on a chair, legs crossed. The picture is taken at sunrise, right when the sun is softly highlighting your chest.

Somehow Gaz didn't time this right, he expected a attachment, not a wallpaper - in his defense, and he opened his phone in the middle of a briefing.

The sergeant dropped his phone on the ground while trying to catch it, creating the (trying to hold a hot stone effect). Price shot him a questioning look, but kept talking, pretending not to notice how Gaz picked his phone face down and put it in his pocket.

For the entire briefing Gaz couldn't focus on anything but your picture. He tried so hard, not to get a boner, but knowing you took the said photograph while he was sleeping, maybe 15 minutes before he got up for work - got him wild.

He went radio silent the entire day and when he got home, he didn't bother talking, or greeting you - Gaz just lifted you up from the couch and smashed his lips into yours.

[jimmyaquino]

My heart has broken in pieces. One of my best pals John Cassaday passed away last night. 52. Way too young. I'm fucking devastated. I've been waiting to post anything as I was trying to find the right words. Plus, I was digging up old photos. Still so many to go through. I may ramble a bit so please bear with me. 

I was at the hospital when he peacefully passed away and I got to say goodbye beforehand. I heard about his hospitalization (I wont go into details on what happened) on Wednesday and went to the hospital every day before work. I would go into his room each time and just chat with him. I randomly texted him last Monday night, 

“Hello! I just wanted to say hi and send some mad Jimmy love. Careful. It’s spicy!”  He replied at 10:46pm with “Love you back!” And as I found out later from his girlfriend Tara, he was taken to the hospital about an hour or so later. Some small solace that my final text was one of mutual love. 

Yesterday, I went into his room and spent some time with him and said good-bye just a couple of hours before he was no longer with us. I gave as much love as I could, mentioning as many as I remembered. And I know this may seem silly, but when I held his hand, I felt a small twitch. I know it”s just an unpredictable body thing but I’ll take it. As you can imagine, I’m a wreck and have been openly bawling off and on. He is my best friend. And that’s what’s great. He is a lot of people's best friend. He is so loved. And even though we may not have hung much as we used to, we always stayed in touch. Always there if I needed.

I first met John back in 2002 through a friend. She had told me about him and of course, I knew who he was from his comic work. Needless to say, we rapidly hit it off. Almost immediately started hanging out. We notoriously hit all the Hell's Kitchen spots (I lived there and he liked hanging there) til the wee hours for years. He introduced me to so many people and a bunch of us would hang out all the time. (Looking at you Paul Pope and John Lucas). That was the thing about John. As said, I was one of his best pals. But I know a lot of people were. Lucas and I were reminiscing last night about how he jokingly passed the Cassaday "best friend" mantle on to me when he moved out of NYC. Cass was so loved and admired by everyone. He always wanted me to meet other friends he knew and would tell me all about them. As I know he would tell them about me. He wanted us all to be one big family of friends. 

I started doing the podcast with Joe Gonzalez in 2005 and John was so supportive. He'd come to the anniversary live recordings as either a guest or just to hang and support. My first San Diego Comic Con was that year and he introduced me to big name friends of his and asked if they'd let us interview them. He'd always tell his friends, "Jimmy's got this terrific new podcast. You gotta go on it". We were always together at SDCC over the years. So much so that if we weren't together at the moment, people would promptly ask me "Where's John?" I loved it! For years, we'd either be on the same flight in or try to land at similar times and then a friend would take us straight to In N Out. 

Besides comics, we shared our love for quite a few things. One of them being the movie It's A Wonderful Life. It's my fave film of all time. And John loved it so much as well. We'd talk about it, quote it, reference it, etc. A couple of years ago, he got me an incredible birthday gift. It's one of those old movie lobby cards that were displayed in movie theater lobbies back in the day. And yes, this one was from back in the 1940's when the movie was released! I had it framed and it's been on my wall ever since. Along with an original art piece from his Astonishing X-Men run he gifted me for another birthday years ago. 

So many favorite memories with him. A few random ones: 1). Me, him and Lucas hit a comedy show back in the day and all 3 of us had our long hair and one comedian kept referring to us as the "cast of The Sopranos". 2). Nick Barrucci got us a limo from NYC to Philly to celebrate John's birthday for one weekend. Fun weekend of food/drinks/clubs/etc. 3). One SDCC, he grabbed my flask usually full of whiskey (I had substituted it w/ an amaro) and did a literal spit take onto my white tie. 4). He refused to get a cell phone for a long time and would have people call/text me when we were out. Sometimes a famous friend or 2 and I'd be like "(insert celeb name here) just called me!" I eventually took him to get his first one. 5). He became friends with Nathan Fillion and brought him to my bar one night. I got off early and the 3 of us had A NIGHT of food/drinks til about 8am when we left the after hours pub. 

I have so many memories and so many pictures to share. Perhaps I will start to share them soon. 

Also, he'd love that he's being talked about in the same space as the great James Earl Jones whom we also lost on Monday. Legends both.

I can't say enough about his girlfriend of 10 years Tara. She was a warrior throughout all of this. While I fielded some calls/texts/messages and helped inform people, she was doing it tenfold. So much love to her and John's family. Some of his cousins came down and it was lovely to spend time with them.

An IAWL quote: "All you can take with you is that which you've given away." And John gave away so much love. 

I'm devastated. The grief comes in waves. But I will spread the Cassaday love forever. Happy to share any stories and love seeing all of yours. He was a love virus. An incredibly talented, kind, generous, loving, loyal friend. I will never forget you, Johnny boy. You changed my life for the better. 

[its-deputy-caleb]

Hiii, could i have a request for how the gang members would react to meeting a historian or explorer in the wild?? thank you! I love your blogs sm!!

anon ily <3333 i went wayy overboard with these but i regret nothing bc this was soo cute and fun to write. I hope u enjoy and i made it gn for everyone. I only did the VDL boys for this but if enough ppl like it i might do the girls with something similar idk yet?

Dutch Van Der Linde

Dutch first laid eyes on you when you were hanging off the edge of a cliff after slipping when you got too close to the edge. He immediately ran over to you, helping you off the cliff and getting you settled back on your feet.

He seemed genuinely concerned and agreed to help you safely record the rock carving that was on the side of the cliff face, keeping you from falling.

You were a historian and had been studying these mysterious rock carvings after meeting an equally mysterious man, Francis Sinclair.

You didn’t see much of Dutch Van Der Linde after that until you ran into him again in Saint Denis in the saloon. He remembered who you were instantly and started up a conversation about your work where you chatted away for hours.

You became very close after that and he often accompanied you to Museums and fancy fundraisers that you were invited to.

He’d always get dressed up and complimented your finer outfits which was such a difference to the field gear you’d have on. You’d spend all night chatting away over nice champagne and dancing together before actually engaging with other guests but you didn’t have a care in the world with Dutch in your life.

Arthur Morgan

Arthur finds you standing in the middle of a field, flipping over rocks and staring numbly at what appeared to be a map in your hands.

When he approached you he soon learnt you were a young amateur explorer about to get your big break with a treasure hunt but you couldn’t find the gold bars for the life of you.

Arthur gave you a heart warming smile and held up a gold bar after retrieving it from his satchel having felt a little bad that he’d discovered it not a week before you.

The two of you laughed about it, calling yourself a fool for trying to find it for so long when it was clearly missing— the thought that someone took it clearly never crossed your mind.

Arthur was always a gentleman however and promised to make it up to you. After taking you to dinner and getting to know him better, you spent the next few days camping out and finding a new treasure together.

You travelled through caves and through valleys of flowers to find this treasure. Sometimes it was so beautiful that the two of you just stopped by a stream to let your horses rest and enjoy the scenery.

When you finally found the treasure you gave Arthur a big hug in excitement which caught him by surprised but he happily returned. He let you keep the treasure and wished you luck with more exploring but of course that wasn’t the last time you saw Arthur again.

Charles Smith

Charles meets you one day while you’re out surveying wildlife. You specialised in conservation, wanting to study and protect animal species.

Fresh out of the university from Saint Denis you’d been dying to get out of the confining city and explore the heartlands. That’s where a kind gentleman named Charles Smith had offered to protect you and show you around the herds of bison you’d taken to studying.

You spent days together riding the over the hills and following the herd as they travelled. While you were Charles told you all about his family and the respect and love they have for the beautiful creatures.

It was amazing the array of knowledge Charles knew about bison and you couldn’t stop the smile on your face as he told you about the characteristics of the bison. You rushed to take notes in your journal, knowing that all that he told you would help you study and protect these animals.

“Do you think it’ll actually do any good? The work you’re doing?”

“One can only hope Mr.Smith but I will do everything in my ability to protect such beautiful creatures.”

Even when you had to return to the city for study you constantly wrote to Charles, staying in touch and keeping him updated with all your work. It was hard to say goodbye to someone you’d grown close to but you made regular visits to each other long after that.

John Marston

You first found John in the saloon after a long day at work, in desperate need of a drink. Being a zoologist you instantly noticed the scars on his face and would’ve guessed a wolf was the animal that caused the damage.

The two of you instantly started up a conversation and shared all kinds of stories. He told you about being up on the mountain while you showed him the scar on your arm from your run in with a cougar.

You were collecting a compendium of all the animals across the heartlands and during the months you worked on it, you ran into John more than once.

He was always curious about your work and you often spent time together in the afternoon sun, showing him the animals you’d found so far.

“What about the stray dogs in town or do you only deal with cougars and wolves?”

“Well they’re animals too aren’t they not?”

Even though you couldn’t see John all the time, he often came along with you to see the wildlife and covered you when you were around particularly dangerous animals and you enjoyed every second you had with him.

Micah Bell

When Micah met you he had absolutely no idea what you were on about. In his mind the whole idea of a palaeontologist is ridiculous and made up, much less the fact that you chose to read books and study in your spare time.

At first he doesn’t do anything but mock your work but after running into you time and time again he finally started to come around.

He grew more and more curious when he saw the drawings in your sketch books of dinosaurs and even more so when he laid eyes on the fossils. But knowing Micah, he’s still incredibly stubborn.

“Ain’t no way that thing is real.”

“One needs an open mind to comprehend what’s prehistoric Mr.Bell. It requires a certain practice.”

Every so often on your work you’d run into Micah who’d be riding around on his horse, just passing by. By now you’d consider him a friend and your face lit up as he pulled a small ammonite fossil from his bag.

It wasn’t really your area of expertise but you could tell he wanted to impress you and seemed almost nervous as you examined the fossil. Nonetheless you could tell it was real and you let him keep the small fossil as a reminder of you until the next time you saw him.

Javier Escuella

Javier meets you when you’re down my the docks, trying to capture the sunlight and noticed him fishing.

Not wanting to disturb him you kept out of his hair until you heard him cheer loudly at a catch he managed to pull in. In your particular interest in animals, you couldn’t help but ask if you could take a photo of the fish he’d caught.

From then on the two of you became friends, often running into each other as you tried to capture landscapes and wildlife.

You’d always spend the day together and you’d show him how to use a camera while he showed you how to fish and play the guitar.

When you spent time apart you’d often write to each other to fill the gap. You’d always send pictures with little writing on the back of them while he sent you poems and songs that he wrote for you, promising to play them for you next time you’d meet.

In your personal journal you have the first picture you ever took of Javier, kept safe between the pages. He’s standing along the docks, facing the away from the water as he holds up a large sturgeon and a large smile.

You and Javier always stay in touch and after he told you of his chaotic and dangerous time in guarma he made light of it by telling you about all the different wildlife he saw while he was there.

Bill Williamson

Bill stumbles upon you in the wild by accident. He’s out scouting a lead when he ended up getting lost through the shrubbery and found you examining flowers closely.

When you told him you were a botanist he looked as if you’d just spoken a different language to him because he didn’t have a clue as to what that meant. Bill always made you laugh fondly at the confused look when you told him all the scientific names of flowers.

In Bill’s mind, a flower was a flower. There was purple flowers and blue flowers and even red ones but they didn’t have their own names.

The next time Bill ran into you he brought you what he thought was a bouquet of white flowers. Instead they were actually a species of weed that was poisonous when eaten but it didn’t stop you from smiling and hugging him which was the intended purpose.

In light of that incident Bill was actually curious about some plants, trying to learn about them more. When Bill went exploring with you he pointed out some of his favourites and you picked a few to put them in the brim of his hat for him to take him back to camp.

When you run into him again Bill tries to give you another flower, this time actually understanding the plant he’d picked was a Vanilla Flower Orchid or the Vanilla planifolia but he never learnt how to pronounce it unlike you.

With a high blush Bill placed the flower behind your ear and you pulled him into a hug, being careful not to crush the beautiful flower.

[comfortbucky]

requests? did someone say requests??😌

fluffy headcanon, mafia boss!bucky comes home after being away for a week or so and it’s just a cute ass reunion between the reader & him with lots of kisses & hugs n shit

or(take your pick) :)

one shot, where john walker is really rude to reader(insults her & shit), but she stands up for herself. they(her & john) get into a fight & bucky finds out by surprisingly swinging by her apartment. of course bucky is pissed, but he tends to her wounds. then for some stupid reason, john shows up at readers apartment & bucky loses it. but it ends in bucky admitting his feelings to reader n some fluff 😩

hope you find motivation for at least one of these:😚

hi yes hehe i did say requests🙈

i’m a sucker for tfatws!bucky so- (and john walker is a rat bastard🤣 so lemme go off)

𝗶 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⋆

pairing: tfatws!bucky x fem!avenger!reader

warnings: john walker (grr), violence! and descriptions of bloody injuries

A/N: also! i sort of changed the prompt i hope u don’t mind too much🥺 // this oneshot will not be taking place during the canon timeline btw but inspired by the events/themes of tfatws

word count: 1.5 k

my masterlist!

completed requests!

Y/N sighed, as she plopped onto the couch after a long day. She, Bucky, and Sam had spent the whole day researching the Flagsmashers to try and track them down. It took all day, partially because Bucky needed a little extra help with learning how to use his laptop. She chuckled at the memory, grabbing the remote to turn her TV on. Suddenly, a loud, aggressive, knock interrupted her thoughts. She sighed and leaned her head on the back of her couch, taking a moment to debate leaving her very comfortable spot, before getting up to answer the door. Y/N knew that she probably should have peeked through her peephole before answering, but she wanted to return to the comfort of her couch as soon as possible. She opened it to see none other than John Walker, greeting her with a smirk. Y/N rolled her eyes.

“What are you doing here, John? How the hell did you even get my address?”

“All government property has GPS tracking in it," he said, pointing to her laptop on the kitchen table behind her. She turned and frowned as he continued. "Look, you need us, me and Battlestar, to take down Karli.” She looked back at John, laughing at Lemar’s alias.

“No way I’m letting someone who goes by Battlestar help me out.” He glared at her comment. “Or you, a Captain America wannabe.”

John took an aggressive step closer, way too close for Y/N’s comfort, as he replied. “I am Captain America, whether you like it or not.”

"You'll never be Captain America," she snapped back. "You don't have what it takes." He glared at her and put his face right in front of hers.

"How would you know? You're a pathetic excuse for a soldier," he spat and Y/N grimaced at John's spit landing on her cheeks. He looked at her, his eyes examining her body. She hated every second of it, his stare making her feel grimy all over, like she immediately needed a shower. “Who’d you fuck to get into the Avengers anyways? Bet it was Steve.”

John’s comment was immediately followed by Y/N’s fist connecting with his cheek, forcing him to stagger back into the hall. She’d heard concerns about her abilities as an Avenger before, calling her weak, fragile, a bitch, etc. But she knew they almost always came from misogynistic men, and was able to shrug their comments off because she knew that she could easily beat all of them to a pulp, no problem. But thinking that she would sleep her way into becoming an Avenger crossed a line. Especially someone she respected and had admired as much as Steve.

John held his hand to his cheek, where he’d been hit, and looked up to make eye contact with Y/N. He smiled and before stating in a condescending tone, “That was cute.” John kicked her in the stomach, launching her onto the floor of her apartment. As she groaned and started to get up, John chuckled and kicked her down before she got to her knees. He went to kick her again when she rolled away, dodging his kick and standing up quickly, panting as she responded.

“God, do you ever shut the fuck up?”

She kicked her leg up to deliver a roundhouse kick to John’s face, spinning around to punch his nose. He stumbled a couple steps back, regaining his balance before swinging a punch towards Y/N. She caught his fist before it hit her and John took the opportunity to use his free hand to grab his shoulder and knee her in the stomach. She gasped, getting the wind knocked out of her. He then threw her into a shelf, shattering several photo frames on the ground. She landed on her stomach, attempting to get up by pushing her self up on her forearms. Y/N felt a warm liquid on her cheek and touched it, pulling it away from her face to see her fingertips covered in blood.

“Asshole,” she mumbled, before standing up to continue fighting.

Several moments ago, Bucky had made the decision to show up at Y/N’s apartment. He pressed some random keys on his computer, and now there was an error message that wouldn’t go away on his screen. Stubbornly, he tried to fix it on his own but ended up making it worse. He sighed in defeat, closing his laptop shut and tucking it under his arm before heading over towards her apartment. Bucky was just down the hall when he heard the sound of glass shattering, his leisurely stroll turning into a sprint to Y/N’s door.

Bucky arrived to see you pinned up against a wall with John’s hand around ur throat. Your hands were desperately clawing at John’s, attempting to free yourself from his grasp. Fear and terror consumed him before a wave of fury took over. Immediately, Bucky launched into action, dropping his laptop in the process. He ripped John away from you, tossing him on the ground. Bucky moved to hover over John, punching him repeatedly in the face. Y/N finally caught her breath and crawled over to Bucky, placing a hand on his shoulder, signaling him to stop. He kept his eyes on John’s bloody and bruised face, lowering his fist.

“Touch her again, and I’ll kill you,” he snarled, releasing John from his grasp.

John rolled over, took a moment to catch his breath. Bucky was standing, fists still clenched by his sides, as he watched John get up and exit Y/N’s apartment without another word.

He closed the door behind him and immediately spun around to see Y/N struggling to get up, attempting to push up from one of her knees. Bucky instantly rushed to her side, helping her to her feet. He grabbed one of her hands in his own and placed his other hand on the small of her back, as he guided her to the couch. He examined her and felt a pain in his chest, looking at her black eye, cut cheek, and her bruised neck outlined with John’s handprint. Without saying a word, he stood up and returned with a first-aid kit from her bathroom. He sat back down and immediately started to tend to her wounds. As Bucky started to disinfect the cut on her cheek, he spoke.

“That was stupid of you,” he mumbled, gently dabbing antiseptic ointment on her cut. It was a drastic contrast from his behavior only minutes ago, nearly ready to murder John. He took a bandaid from the kit and delicately placed it on her cheek. Bucky then moved his hand to assess her black eye, his thumb softly grazing a soft patch of skin under her eye. She frowned and lightly pushed his hand away.

“I would’ve been fine on my own, you know.”

“Sit still so I can take a look at your bruise.” He responded gruffly, lifting his hand and attempting to look at her bruised eye again. She shoved his hand away, this time more aggressively, and tried to stand up.

“Just leave me alone,” Y/N said, wincing and clutching her abdomen in pain, causing Bucky to grab her waist and slowly lower her back down onto the couch. Fucking John Walker.

“Y/N.”

She pulled his hands off her and reluctantly sat down to face him.

“You don’t need to defend me, Bucky,” she spoke, Bucky sensing anger in her voice. “I’m not some weak, helpless civilian. I’m a god damn Avenger for christ sake!” As Y/N shouted, her voice wavered and her eyes started to well up with tears.

Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and Bucky sat with his hands resting on his lap. Although she was speaking to Bucky, she felt like she was more-so trying to convince herself of what she was saying.

“I know,” he said calmly, but with a stern tone, keeping his eyes locked on hers.

“Okay, so leave me alone.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not!”

“Because I fuckin’ care about you!” Bucky shouted, causing Y/N’s face to immediately soften.

Her arms dropped to rest in her lap and she froze as Bucky softly raised his hand to cup her cheek, captivated by his touch. He cautiously moved, worried she would push his hand away again, but she didn’t. His thumb gently caressed her non-cut cheek and he pulled her face close to his. She felt his breaths fan her face as he spoke.

“I know you’re one of the strongest Avengers,” he started. “And I know you could kick John’s ass any day of the week. But I care so much about you and I need you to be okay.” Bucky’s lips hovered over Y/N’s, lightly brushing against hers.

“I need you, Y/N.”

She responded by crashing her lips onto his, moving her hands to hold his face closer to hers. The kiss was full of passion, love, and unspoken feelings. When they broke apart, gasping for air, Y/N smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair.

“I care about you too, Buck.”

Bucky had never seen such a bright light in his 106 years of living.

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (2)

pairing: taehyung x f reader

genre: horror au, yandere au, saw/john kramer au

synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughs, abusive relationships, stalking etc. dont read if triggered. there are some ?? fucked up things in this but idk what to word them. but also mentions of self harm/self hating thoughts.

wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: unedited so pls forgive me for any mistakes and lmk if u want to be added to a taglist^^

series masterlist

part one part three

You’d spent a couple of hours in the café with Taehyung. Jimin popped over every now and then to talk with his best friend and to make sure you had everything you needed while there.

When you left, Jimin wrapped his arms around you as he bid his farewell, “It was lovely to meet you Y/N! Please, don’t be a stranger!” You simply nodded your head as you pulled away from the hug. You grinned back at him as he moved to Taehyung. You opened the door, carefully stepping outside to leave the boys with some privacy.

Once the door shut Jimin’s smile beamed, “so she’s the girl you’re always talking about, Flower? Right?”

“Yeah she is, thanks for that though man but, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later?”

Taehyung smiled as he made his way towards you, you looked up and he swore, he saw a hint of nervousness in your eyes, probably because it’s dark, he thought to himself. “Come on then, let’s get you home.” He held out his hand, you were quick to grab a hold of it. Taehyung intertwined your fingers as he tugged you back across the road, “it’ll take about twenty minutes, you gonna be alright to walk?” he glanced down to you.

Your heart warmed at the way his eyes smiled with him, “I’ll be fine, thank you.” He seemed happy enough with your answer as you fell into a steady rhythm. You felt a little conflicted, you may not know Taehyung well but he had an energy about him that made you wanna spill every secret you knew, you’d shared pointless stories while you were at the café, having learnt Taehyung was a family oriented person, he loved art and he was passionate about little subjects other people would deem small. Yet he had a warmth that you’d not seen in anyone else.

Fuck it, you thought, he’s shown nothing but kindness, you may aswell open upto him… atleast.

“I was in an abusive relationship.” Taehyung felt himself smirk but quickly wiped it from his face, he arched an eyebrow as he looked down to you, “it was my first too. It left me, fucked up, in a way. Not that I wasn’t already fucked up.” Progress. He squeezed your hand in reassurance, go on… “I’ve always been insecure and uh, uncomfortable with the way I look. After that disaster of a relationship, it left me worse for wear.” you kept your eyes on the road, you didn’t want to see the judgement on his face yet it didn’t stop you from carrying on, “I never told my friends or family about it. None of them knew I was struggling before it anyway so I’ve been letting it tear me apart.”

“Why tell me then doll?”

You risked a glance at his face. There were no traces of judgement or pity. Swallowing down your nerves, you added softly, “I had to tell someone. Even if that someone is a random person— who showed me kindness when I needed it.”

Taehyung felt his heart clench, she’s already trusting me… this was easier than I thought. “Don’t feel like you need to tell me anything baby,” I already know it all.

You felt your cheeks burn from the pet name, how could something so simple, affect you this much? God, talk about a schoolgirl crush. “That’s the thing, I don’t feel like I need to. I just, I want to.”

Taehyung presented you with his boxy grin, “Then you can tell me anything you want, whether it's big or small.”

“Thank you Taehyung.” It was like the sun had shone down on you, the simplest gesture meant the world. Here you had a person willing to talk to you about your darkest secrets. A person willing to listen. Someone who had no ties to your family, which made it easier for the words to flow from you, “It’s like, I was this happy, care-free kid. I smiled without forcing it and when I laughed… I felt free. I didn’t feel like I was losing my breath. Not like I do now, everytime I do so much as breathe, it's like these roots have twisted around my lungs and everytime a breath escapes, they crush them tighter. It’s like a reminder. You’re never fully alive. You’re never fully happy. Pain overrides any other emotion. I’ve learned that, after all those years. I used to think, I’d never accept it.” A solemn silence fell over you. The roots squeezed your lungs even tighter as you whispered, “I’m scared of living.”

“Flower, some people are anchored to this world by their feet, others by their fears. You don’t have to voice it, I know you’re scared. You have your fears. Your demons. The thing you were doing at the cafe; is destructive. Anything that harms you, is destructive. Fuck, it may only be something as simple as picking your skin but that can lead into bigger things.”

It already has.

“Taehyung, I know that. I knew when it started but it helps, it lessens my anxiety. You’re the only one to have picked up on it. My friends… they don’t notice. If they do, they don’t mention it.”

Taehyung scoffed, “You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?”

Your mouth was sewn shut. You didn’t want to admit it but, there was some truth to his words.

You walked home in silence.

That night haunted you. It forced its way into your dreams. It clouded your thoughts when Yoongi and Hoseok were with you. When you’d spent time together, you were vacant. A soulless body. It was like a poison had found its way into your brain, second guessing relationships and people’s motives.

‘You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?’

Why were you letting it get in your head so much? You knew your friends. They were the only ones you felt safe with. They were your friends for a reason, they supported you (albeit sometimes they had a sense of… tough love) but they always had your back.

You didn’t mention Taehyung to Yoongi or Hoseok. You felt as though that was something that should be kept between you and him. Plus, the duo would’ve felt betrayed and upset by the fact you had wandered into foreign territory alone and found company in a complete stranger-- especially after they’d warned you about the whole Jigsaw shit.

To save the arguments, you went about your life as usual. You helped out your Mum with the flower shop, the array of flowers made you realise how the simplest things were beautiful. That of course, didn’t include yourself. Rancid thoughts clouded what was once, a tranquil space. Those god forsaken roots hadn’t lessened. Breathing was still difficult— as was pretending that you were absolutely fine.

You avoided mirrors, a quick glance could wreck your entire mood. You hated people taking photos of you, it made you scrutinise every single thing.

My nose is too big.

My chin is too round.

My face just shouts ugly.

My legs are disgusting.

My stomach is embarrassing.

My boobs are weird.

Not to say, you didn’t have these thoughts on the regular. However, the more you eluded your appearance, the voices lessened. You could ignore the way you looked, forget it completely. Often convinced yourself you were a plain person. The stereotypical norm: someone that no one would look twice at. It helped you get on with everyday tasks, it helped you ease the anxiety.

After all, every flower must grow through dirt.

But how would you react? If you knew, he had all the pictures of you?

Tuesdays you worked at your Dad’s garage. You didn’t know much about cars but you enjoyed his company. As well as spending time with Hobi and Yoongi. You often found yourself pranking the former with Yoongi, little jokes that luckily, didn’t piss Hobi off too much.

Today though, you were late. You’d had to spend more time trying to find the more appropriate clothing… you didn’t want people to see the slashed lines of red that littered your body.

After you messily threw an outfit together, you made your way down to the garage. You found your eyes trained on the silver Nissan Skyline, mouth agape as you collided into something.

You felt hands grab your shoulders, “Watch where you’re going,” Yoongi brought his hands to ruffle your hair, “gotta be careful while we’ve got that here kidda. That fuckers expensive.” He released a chuckle as you rolled your eyes, softly elbowing him out the way.

Your dad was under the bonnet, a box of tools were scattered around his feet. Organised mess, your Dad was infamous for it.

“Sorry I’m late Pops, what do you want me to do?”

Not even a second later, your Dad turned to face you, “Ah darling, not a lot while we’re working on this. Can you go make us some drinks?”

“Yeah course, I won’t be too long!”

You passed Hoseok on your way to the little kitchen situated at the back, he sent you a wink as he shouted across, “Coffee for me kidda!”

Three cups were spread in front of you. Americano for Yoongi, Coffee for Hobi and Cappuchino for Pops. Just as you were about to shout the guys, a presence had situated itself comfortably behind you. Before you had time to turn around, a deep baritone voice addressed you, “You not gonna ask me if I want a cup baby?”

You felt yourself still. You knew that voice. The voice that was haunting your dreams, even your wake.

You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?

Taehyung watched the way your body tensed, your shoulders stiffened, your breathing altered. Hm, she’s nervous. How cute.

“What are you doing here?” the words passed your lips, delivered as though they were encased in thorns.

A deep chuckle filled the room, “What do you think I’m doing here?” Taehyung inched closer, the atmosphere was almost palpable. You felt the way his chest brushed against your back, a sudden chill shot through you as he brought his hand up— which grazed against your skin whilst he moved your hair from your neck. His eyes turned hungry at the sight of your goosebumps. Your heart raced when he brought his head lower, lips next to your ear, “You think I’m here for you baby?” I am… but you don’t need to know that just yet.

You spun around, squashed between the table and Taehyung. Heat radiated off of him, how can he be so hot? It felt like you were in a furnace (while face to face with the Devil.)

Fear stricken, you tried to fight through it. Don’t show him. Don’t let him see. With a sarcastic smile plastered on your face you retorted, “Of course you are Taehyung. You tracked me down using the information I gave you and figured out which Garage is ours.”

The sarcasm was practically dripping from your tone like venom. Taehyung felt himself stifle a laugh.

You just didn’t know. In all fairness, you didn’t know anything. How would you know that Taehyung had done exactly that, except he’d done it months prior.

He lowered his head to yours, your hands raised to push him away but Taehyung wrapped his fingers around each wrist and tugged them to lay between you before you even had the chance to nudge him. You felt like you were stuck in a Venus fly trap.

“I’m not some type of sicko, doll.”

You were just a naive, misunderstood, little girl.

“I’m getting my car fixed. Your dad’s working on it right now.”

Your body visibly relaxed, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Oh, the Skyline? Wait, you have a car and made us walk back to mine the other week?”

“I didn’t make you walk for the fun of it baby, my car is literally in the shop so obviously it was broken.”

Only, the car was perfectly fine when you met him those weeks ago. He had made the pair of you walk so he’d have more of a chance to speak to you and to touch you. The only way he could follow you around without being suspicious, especially at your dads work, was to have a somewhat reasonable excuse (which resulted in him messing with the engine). He knew although you’d shied away from him that night, he could easily win you back around.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Taehyung. I’m also uh, sorry about how that night ended.”

“Don’t sweat it, I know what I said came off a little... weird but I didn’t mean any harm.”

With an angelic smile on your face in return, Taehyung knew that soon, that smile would morph into a grateful one. After all, he was going to help you.

Until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Live or Die.

Your choice.

He had first seen you out and about last year. However, he had first heard of you when the guys working for him had slammed a file onto his desk, Subject #13 was scrawled on the top. Filled to the brim with pictures of you and everything about your life down to the littlest detail.

L/N Y/N— D.O.B 03.11.02— 19 years old.

Phone number: XXXXX.XXXXX

Female. Lives with parents at: 171 Norm Street, Falfield F91 7DW. Was outcasted at school but befriended a Jeon Jeongguk [19 years, male. 92 Carriers Road, Cressage CY5 3EA. XXXXX.XXXXX].

Ex partner is Kang Jaehyo. [23 years. Male. Abusive and manipulative, laid his hands on Y/N multiple times leaving bruises and scars. Sexual abuse was also discovered. Have been broken up for 4 months. 13 Walkers Drive, Falfield, F73 1DL XXXXX.XXXXX]

Y/N has suicidal ideations (as well as 7 attempts). Self harms by “cutting” “punching” and “scratching”. Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Disorder on May 13th 2016. Works at Toret Garage and Letty’s Floral. Both places owned by parents.

The web of lies and deceit had barely scraped the surface.

[skiesofthesketchy]

Unsend {1}

JJ Maybank x reader

Summary: You accidentally sent your nude to your friend lol.

AN: Hi! Ummm... I wrote this. Idk lemme know if you like it and if you’d like to read a part 2!! Me.. over here obsessed with JJ baby. Ok thanks for reading love you :)

Warnings: lots of swearing, somewhat explicit descriptions, a smidge of blackmail...

Word count: 2.9k

Part 2: Send It

***

It was one of those days where you weren’t feeling particularly great about yourself. Nothing specific was the cause of such feelings, but today you just felt... bleh. 

Your rattiest pair of sweatpants adorned your legs and you wore an extra large shirt on top. Your hair was pulled into something that sort of resembled a bun, your face was covered in a mud mask, which looked and smelled gross, but the packaging said it would make your skin soft. You usually didn’t mind your appearance, especially when you’re just lounging around at home, but today you didn’t feel pretty. 

Pretty is not the most important thing in the world. Still, it felt nice to feel pretty. 

This led you to go through some of your old photos. It always made you happier to look back on some of the amazing memories you’d made. Scrolling through your camera roll on your phone, you found pictures from instances you had totally forgotten about. Your heart melted when you clicked on one of you and your friends.

It was the first day of summer, and your squad spent the entire day surfing before hanging out at the Chateau afterwards. John B. and JJ had grilled up some burgers while you helped Pope make a fire in the yard. Kiara had been the designated DJ of the night, which was her excuse for not helping with dinner. You all sat in camping chairs and hammocks as you ate and listened to music, talking and laughing about anything that came up. 

It was a pure moment, and you smiled at the photo. You had insisted on taking a picture to commemorate the amazing day, the first day of a wild summer ahead of you. You had set your phone on the porch with a timer, and yelled at everyone to quickly pose. They were already standing in somewhat of a formation, and as you ran to them to get ready for the picture, JJ grabbed you by the waist and spun you around so that he was holding you with your back against his chest. 

“Say pogues for life!” Kiara shouted, and you all huddled closer together in a group hug, JJ smooshing his cheek against yours with arms around your waist as you all screamed at the top of your lungs, “Pogues for life!”

You saved the photo to favorites, the sight of it making you feel better already. Before scrolling again, you zoomed in on your face, your cheek squished against JJ’s, and it made you blush. Any time he held you close, it made your skin heat up and your insides turn to mush.

Sighing, you kept scrolling, and were surprised to find a handful of scandalous pictures you had taken. You remember this day too, and you were feeling extra great about yourself then. So great that you had decided to snap a few nudes. You hadn’t sent them to anyone, but figured it was nice to have a few photos of you looking sexy. You blushed as you looked through these, wondering if you’d ever have the courage to actually send them to someone someday.

Your screen still displayed one of your nudes when you got a text from Kie. For some unknown reason, your phone spazzed out and the screen froze. “Come on,” you mumbled, pressing on the screen and the home button several times. You tapped repeatedly on the screen, annoyed that nothing was happening. Then it seemed to have started working again, because it lit up and you were suddenly watching your photo being sent to someone. 

“Oh my fucking god.” Your eyes widened. “What the fuck did I just do!?” 

Panic surged throughout your whole body. Your phone seemed to be working just fine now, but did you actually just send your nude to somebody?! You rushed to your messaging app, and the first name at the top of the screen was none other than JJ Maybank.

“No!” you yelled. You clicked on his name and sure enough, your naked body was in the chat, underneath it, the word, ‘Delivered.’

You threw your phone onto the bed. “This cannot be happening to me right now.” ‘Shit, shit, shit,’ was all that was running through your head on a loop as you tried to think of what to do.

‘Maybe he hasn’t seen it yet,’ you thought. You quickly picked up your phone again and called JJ, praying he would pick up. You needed to tell him NOT to open his messages. To delete the whole chat right now before he sees the picture. 

He didn’t answer, and you huffed, dialing his number again. You had to get a hold of him. If there’s any chance he hasn’t seen it yet, you were going to make sure he never does. You don’t know how you’d live with the humiliation. 

The call once again went to voicemail, and you were on your feet in seconds. You still had hope, thinking if he wasn’t answering your calls, he didn’t even have his phone on him, which means he couldn’t have seen the picture yet. 

You slid on some shoes and grabbed your backpack, not even bothering to look in the mirror before running out of your house. You knew JJ would be at the Chateau, and it was only a fifteen minute walk from your house. You figured you could make it in five if you ran. 

Then you were sprinting down the streets like a mad woman, your face still painted with the brown mud mask, which was starting to melt off as it mixed with your sweat. You didn’t even care. You just needed to get to JJ’s phone before he did. 

“I’m gon’ take a shower,” John B. muttered to JJ. JJ didn’t respond as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. He found his phone resting on the couch as he sat down, taking a swig of Coors. He scrolled through the few notifications he had, the boy furrowing his brows when he saw two missed calls from you and a text. 

He didn’t think anything of it when he clicked on your text message, but what he saw had him spitting out his beer all over his lap and the coffee table. 

Your face wasn’t in the shot, but JJ knew it was you without a doubt. You were completely naked and laid across your bed. The frame showed from your collarbones down to your thighs, one of your legs propped up lazily, showing all of your most private parts.

JJ was stunned. He wasn’t thinking about why you had sent him this photo out of the blue. He was left ogling the picture in utter disbelief. Your tits were on full display, your nipples hardened into peaks, your skin looking flawless. JJ couldn’t help the grunt that escaped him when he zoomed in on your pussy. He had only dreamed of seeing you this way, but never in a million years thought that he actually would. Naughty thoughts started to swirl in his head when he heard the sound of rapid footsteps just outside.

It was you, panting wildly and your mind still racing. “JJ?” you yelled as you bounded up the porch steps. JJ quickly tucked his phone away on instinct, as if he already knew he shouldn’t have been looking at that photo.

You barged into the front door and stopped in your tracks when you found JJ standing in the living room. He chuckled as he looked you up and down. You were a complete mess, and it was plainly obvious that you had just been running for your life. “Y/N?” he asked.

“Where’s your phone?” You didn’t have time to explain, and you didn’t want to. You just needed to delete the photo without JJ knowing, and then you could forget this ever happened. 

JJ decided to play dumb. He found the current state you were in more than amusing, and he thought about how his day has already gotten so much better. “Uh, I don’t know. Why?”

“Come on, J, where is it?”

“I said I don’t have it. What’s this about?” He had an idea of why you ran in demanding his phone, but he wanted to watch you squirm as you tried to explain it. He wasn’t going to let you know he had seen your nude just yet.

“Nothing, I just need it, okay?” You started frantically looking around, throwing pillows and blankets onto the floor. “Where is it?” you grumbled. You still looked like a crazy person, and JJ was enjoying the scene in front of him way too much.

“I’ll help you look if you tell me why you need it.” The man was smirking, which pissed you off but you were too busy panicking to care right now. 

“I’ll just call it,” you said, before taking your phone out to call him. JJ took another swig of his beer as he watched you, totally unhinged. He knew he was about to be caught in his lie, but he was excited for it. This whole situation excited him. 

His ringtone started blaring from his pocket and you looked at him in disbelief. “JJ, seriously? Gimme your damn phone.” You were now standing in front of him, still quivering with nerves but putting on an angry face for him.

“No,” he smiled, looking more like the devil than the JJ you know and love. 

“I swear to god, JJ, I will murder you.” You reached for his pockets, but he had already slipped the phone out and held it above his head, out of your reach.

“Just tell me why you need it so badly!” He laughed as you jumped and yanked on his arm trying to get his phone. He easily kept it away from you, but you were putting in an admirable amount of effort. 

“None of your business!” you yelled childishly, hitting him in the chest as you continued to reach for the phone.

“My phone, my business.” You shouted in anguish and jumped on him, making you both crash onto the couch with you practically laying on top of him. Being in this position with your friend would’ve made you embarrassed, but you had too much adrenaline pumping through your veins to care. 

Your hands finally grabbed hold of the phone but he snatched it away from you and tucked it into the front of his pants. You looked at him again baffled. “Go on, take it,” he said. You wanted to slap the smirk right off his face. 

“Don’t think I won't.” 

“I hope you do, sweetheart.” His eyes burned into you in a challenging stare, his face only inches from yours. You knew he was just having the time of his life right now, teasing the shit out of you. You held his gaze, wishing you could burn a hole right through him. 

“Fine. You win,” you sighed. It was a bluff. You weren’t going to actually stick your hand down his pants! You sat back in defeat, but that’s when you realized the position you were in. You were straddling JJ, your top half leaning over him and his stupid, cocky face right under you. Heat rose to your cheeks as you hurried to get off of him. 

“Seriously JJ. I accidentally sent you something that you’re not supposed to see.” You decided to come clean, the embarrassment of the situation too much for you to handle any longer. You just needed to get this over with.

He sat up, deciding to come clean as well. “Oh, are you talking about the nudie?” he asked.

Your eyes widened until they were bulging out of your head. “You saw it?!” you screamed. This was your worst nightmare, accidentally sending a naked photo to someone. Of course it had to randomly be sent to JJ. You knew he would never let you live this down. You were right, this is utterly humiliating.

“Come on,” JJ laughed, still enjoying every second of this. “Don’t be embarrassed!”

“Of course I’m embarrassed, JJ!” you yelled at him. “You weren’t supposed to see that. It was an accident!”

“It’s nothing to get so worked up about. It’s a great picture, and I’ll cherish it forever.” The gleam in his eye had your stomach twisting in knots.

“Like hell you will. Fucking delete it.”

“You sent it to me. It’s mine now,” he smiled wickedly. 

“JJ,” you warned, glaring at him. He didn’t take you seriously though, mud still on your face in patches.

“Y/N...” he teased. 

The scolding approach wasn’t going to work, and you sighed. “Please JJ? Can’t you see how humiliating this is for me?” 

“It shouldn't be. You’re hot as fuck and you should be flaunting it.” Your cheeks burned at his words and the butterflies you knew oh so well were set loose in your stomach. The butterflies that only seemed to appear when you’re with JJ.

“What? That-- that’s not the point,” you stuttered. “I don’t want a naked picture of me to be on your phone!” 

“But I do,” he argued.

“JJ!” You didn’t let your mind drift to why he wanted the photo and only focused on getting the picture deleted. “You’re being a dick!”

“Fine, I’ll delete it,” he said after laughing at your pissed off expression, then standing up and retrieving the phone from his crotch. “On one condition.”

You hit him repeatedly in the chest, overrun by anger once again. “So you’re gonna blackmail me now? Are you fucking kidding me?”

He laughed, not affected at all by your assault. “I’m not above blackmail, sweetheart. Do you want to hear my condition or not?”

You crossed your arms over your chest with a huff. “Fine. What is it?”

He smirked, coming closer to you. As scary and seductive as he looked right now, you held your ground, eyes meeting his devilish stare. 

“I’ll delete the pic if I get to see the real thing.” 

“What?!” Your mind was spinning once again as heat rushed to your cheeks. “You-- You’re not serious!”

“Dead serious, Y/N.” He was shameless. Despite his attraction and feelings towards you, he knew you were off limits. No pogue on pogue macking was the rule. But today’s series of events had him thinking perhaps you weren’t as out of reach as he thought. 

If you agreed to his condition, it would be the best day of his life. If not, he knew he’d have to deal with you hating him for a while until he finally made it up to you, but this was a risk he was willing to take. 

You shook your head, turning away from him to hide your embarrassment. You didn’t understand why he would actually suggest such a thing. Was he really going to treat you like every other touron he picked up? Or did he like you? You couldn’t fathom the latter actually being true. 

“That’ll never happen, JJ.” 

He ignored the pain in his chest that was struck by your words. “Then I guess I’m the proud owner of one of your nudes,” he smiled. 

“Come on, JJ. This isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s funny.”

“Well it’s not!” You eyed the phone in his hands and decided to take a chance. You pushed the man as hard as you could and when he crashed to the couch, you lunged for it.

“Ha!” you yelled, grinning ear to ear with his phone in your hands. 

“Hey, give that back!” JJ got up, but you bolted out of the house, JJ running after you.

As you tried not to stumble over your own feet, you unlocked his phone and clicked on your message. “You better not delete it!” he yelled after you, catching up fast. Despite how serious you thought this situation was, it really wasn’t too big of a deal. He was laughing as he chased you, and you cheered in triumph when you finally managed to delete the photo.

‘Crisis averted,’ you thought. Except now you had to deal with the knowledge that JJ actually saw a naked photo of you. You were still embarrassed, but at least now there’s no evidence of this ever actually happening.

“Aw, come on,” JJ chuckled as he finally caught up to you. “I didn’t even have a chance to jerk off to it yet.”

“JJ!” You hit him in the chest. You didn’t think you could take much more of his teasing. Not today.

“Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to get my hands on it again someday,” he smirked. You rolled your eyes and started stalking away, ready to just go home now. He only laughed as he watched you retreat. 

“Wait, Y/N!” 

You turned around to find him behind you, looking as handsome as ever. “What?”

“It was sexy,” he said bluntly, as if his words didn’t just light your insides on fire. “You’re sexy.” He winked at you, then casually sauntered off back to the house, leaving you in a confused daze.  

“Fuck you!” you yelled after him before running off into the direction of your house. ‘At least that’s over with,’ you thought, but you knew JJ was only going to continue teasing and flirting with you now that he saw how riled up you had become. How you were going to handle that, you didn’t know, but for some crazy reason, you smiled at the thought.

---------------------------------------------------------------

part 2??

[obx-saltlife]

Do I Wanna Know?

John B. x Reader; phone sex?

Summary: You take some photos, they’re meant for your dumb boyfriend; you accidentally send them to John B.

Warnings: Smut, graphic language, phone sex, don’t send n00ds (okay do but be responsible, always!), maybe cheating implied so if you’re not comfortable with that then don’t read.

A/N: I don’t even know how this came about. Take awesome photos, do you, queens; but always, always be responsible and don’t just send them to anyone bc guys are assholes sometimes (all of the time).

“Text 6969 now and stay completely satisfie-...”

The rest of the commercial was cut off as you rolled your eyes and switched off the television.  

Leaning your head back against the sofa you sighed softly. The house was silent and you were alone once again. This was the third time this week that your boyfriend ditched you for the night and although he had offered plenty of times to take you with him, you declined knowing that you had plenty of other things to do back home.   At this point, your relationship was definitely changing and aside from missing maybe the idea of him terribly, there was absolutely no denying you were undoubtedly missing the physical aspects of your relationship as well.

You and your boyfriend hadn’t been intimate for a while, and although you were mostly okay with it for a while, there were times when you’d find it incredibly difficult to admit that you were, indeed lonely. It was definitely frustrating being in a relationship with someone who was more focused on working or whatever than spending time with their girlfriend. Honestly, you didn’t mind the space as much but even when you did get together, your boyfriend was always somewhere else, mentally. However; you would never call him out on any of this. It would definitely end in him telling you that you were being “clingy” and the move on to talking about something else. And what girl wants to go through that shit?

While going through some old magazines, you came up with an idea. Instead of siting at home wondering if your boyfriend missed you as much as you missed him, you decided that you were going to make him miss you.

Leaving the couch and the magazines behind, you walked into your room stripping out of the simple clothes you had been wearing around town earlier in the day, revealing a matching bralette and lacy panty set. You looked at yourself in the mirror, slightly thankful that the set was actually matching, a rare and almost unusual occurrence.

You weren’t sure how to go about this. You had never ventured to the dark side of technology like this, you hadn’t needed to. You would never have thought of taking these types of pictures of yourself before, and you weren’t all too sure what your boyfriend Jason would think of them. However; you expected him to like it, because who didn’t like seeing their significant other half-naked?

Moving over to the bed, you took your phone and started taking pictures. To be completely hoenst, you were mostly just playing it by ear. Having no idea what was actually considered “sexy” since you often saw yourself as the exact opposite of the word. The rush of adrenaline boosted your confidence as you realized that hopefully, in a matter of minutes, Jason would be as turned on as you were.

You picked a few photos that you thought Jason would like the most and hastily pressed the send button. However, before you put your phone down, it beeped and a message appeared.

Sent to John B. Routledge

“Shit, Shit, Shit!” You screamed out loud, “This would fucking happen to me!”

You couldn’t believe that you had just sent her racy photos to your best friend of ten years instead of your current boyfriend.

Panicking, you typed a message to John B:  “Sorry! Those were definitely not for you! Disregard! Actually don’t even look at it!”

To say you were embarrassed was an understatement. You had no idea what to do, and you knew how awkward it was going to be once met up with the rest of the Pogues for surfing tomorrow morning.

“What is he even going to think when he sees those pictures?” You thought out loud, “What if the other boys see them? I'm a fucking idiot.”

Putting your face in your hands, you groaned and tried to think of ways to overcome this situation. However, the very familiar ring tone quickly interrupted your thoughts.  Looking at the caller ID and inwardly groaning, a clear embarrassed flush on your cheeks.

Call from John B. Routledge

Sighing, you picked up the phone.

“H-Hey John B,” you began to stutter.

“Well, well, that text I just received is definitely different than your quirky meme of the day.” The voice said over the phone.   You could tell that John B was smirking and you were even more embarrassed than you were before.

“John B that was meant for Jason! I didn’t mean to send those to you. I’m so sorry!” You rushed. You were never going to get over this. The embarrassment was literally mortifying.

“Why are you sorry? I’m definitely not complaining.”

“Come on, JB. Can you just delete the photos?  We can pretend it never even happened”

“You know it’s funny,” He started, “I'm pretty sure red isn't your favorite color but it looks good on you.”

You were definitely mortified. Actually, mortified was an understatement. You couldn’t believe that he was acting like this! All you wanted him to do was to delete the photos and then that way; he could go on with his life and you could continue with yours as well.

“John B, just do me a solid and delete them okay? I already feel bad enough.”  You sighed.

He didn’t say anything and now you were getting worried. Was he really that repulsed by you? Maybe, you were muted and he was showing your pictures to the other guys.

“God, I’m such a fucking idiot.” You huffed, “I don’t even know why I thought this was a good idea anyway. It’s not like Jason would have even liked them.”

“Why would you even begin to think something like that?” He questioned.

“I don’t know, I-I- John B, can you please just delete them?” You pleaded.

“Hey, why would you think that?” He repeated.

How were you supposed to tell your best friend that your boyfriend was awful? You knew John B already didn’t like him to begin with and that he only tolerated him because you would beg him, Kie, Pope and JJ to. But, if they knew how he treated you, you wouldn’t hear the end of it not only from John B but from the rest of them as well. They liked treating you like one of the gang. Regardless, you knew there would be countless amounts of  “I told you so’s” and even more lectures about why Jason wasn’t a good guy to begin with.

“I don’t know, JB.  He’s just been really busy, apparently. I don’t even know. We haven’t really spent much time together and every time I try to do something for him, he just shrugs it off. It's discouraging and awful.”  You said hoping this would get him off of your back.

You were wrong. Questions continued to come, and that's how you told your best friend absolutely everything that was going on with you and no-good Jason. Even though you knew that John B would probably be upset, you felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off of your shoulders.

“Can I tell you something?” John B asked.

“Anything.” You said nodding; quickly realizing that he couldn’t see you over the phone.

“Well, I- Honestly-If-Well, If you and I were in this position that you and that idiot Jason are in, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of you.” John B admitted sheepishly, “Specially if you took pictures like that for me.”

“Shut up, JB,” You laughed, “I know what you’re doing and it’s not working.”

“What am I doing?”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better, and you’re doing a really shitty job.” You pointed out.

“I’m being honest!” He exclaimed, “Seriously, though. You’re beautiful.”

You sighed and rolled your eyes at his comments.  You weren’t interested in talking about this; all you wanted him to do was delete the photos so you could carry on with your extensive plans to do absolutely nothing the rest of the night.

“Can I do something?” He asked knowing that you probably wouldn’t say anything anytime soon.

“Um, okay?” You questioned, now worried of what he was planning on saying next.  

“I want to make you feel good.” He said his voice just above a whisper, “Will you please let me do that for you?”

“John B…”

“Just let me show you,” he said, getting back to his point,  “Go upstairs, and get on the bed.”

“John B, can you please just delete the photos? It’s late and we have surfing early tomorrow morning.” You said changing the subject once again.

“Let me take care of you.” He said ignoring your pleas to delete the photos.

You couldn’t believe what he was doing. He was obviously aware of the fact that you had a boyfriend, and although you did have their issues you loved him very much and wouldn’t dream of hurting him.  You looked over at the bed, contemplating granting his request.

“I love Jason.” You said, “I don’t want to cheat on him. I’m not sure if this is right, JB.”

“Do you trust me?”  He asked.

“…Yes” you hesitated, of course you trusted him. He was your best friend, but at this time you weren’t really sure where he was going.

“You also know that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, right?” He asked, “That I wouldn’t do this if I thought you would be putting your relationship in jeopardy?”

“I know, JB.”

“Okay then.” He confirmed, “Get on the bed for me.”

You nodded, still realizing that he couldn’t see you and made your way toward your bed like you were told.  After all, he did say that this wouldn’t hurt your relationship with Jason, right?

“God those pictures are driving me absolutely crazy.” He whispered, “I wish you could see what you’ve done to me.  I keep thinking of what I’d do to you if you were here right now.”

He went silent. You listened carefully and heard a zipper in the background, seconds later you heard a soft thud proving that he had taken off his pants and they had hit the ground.

You silently gasped, realizing what was actually happening. You wanted to stop it, you really did. However; you were too curious to see where this went.  You would be lying if you said that you weren’t turned on. You felt as if you were finally getting the recognition you deserved and you loved it.

“Let me ask you something” John B asked, his voice still quiet, “Does your boyfriend ever play with you like this? Does he touch you how want you to be touched?“

If you weren't turned on before, you definitely were now. You couldn’t believe that you were seeing this side of John B. A side of him, you had only ever heard about from the other two boys and gossipy girls in your group of friends. You were used to the little shy, somewhat awkward boy you met when you were 10 and he was only 8. Not the persistent, demanding man you were on the phone with now.

“No” You whispered, “He doesn’t.”

John B groaned, “I can make you feel so good, all you need to do is let me. Tell me what you want.”

Now noticing that familiar feeling in between your legs, you knew that you had finally cracked.

“Play with me, John B.”

“I told you I was going to make you feel good didn’t I?” He responded.

It was like you could feel his presence, and you knew that he was definitely giving some sort of smirk at the end of it.  However, you were too turned on to laugh. You wanted him, and you wanted him now.

“Close your eyes for me, imagine me there.” He was back to his husky voice, “You’re going to touch yourself exactly as I say, and I don’t want you do anything unless I tell you to. Do you understand?”

“Please, John B.” You whimpered, “Tell me what to do.”

“I’m going to need you to take off what you’re wearing. Can you do that for me?” John B asked.

You slowly began taking off the red bralette set you were wearing earlier, waiting for John B’s next move. The line was silent; the only thing you could hear was his heavy breathing and a quiet groan, which signaled that he had just started touching himself.

“Fuck, I bet you look amazing right now. I wish I was with you, I wouldn’t waste any time getting your clothes off of you. I bet your skin feels amazing. You look so good in red, babe.” John B groaned.

“My clothes are off,” You whispered interrupting his thoughts, “Tell me what to do, JB.”

“Touch your breasts. Instead of your little hands imagine mine cupping them, rolling them around with my palms.” He instructed.

You did what you were told, you began touching your stomach gradually moving up as you began touching your breasts. Softly kneading them with your palms until you gradually gained more strength imagining John B’s hands touching you instead of your own.  You let out a small whimper to let know John B that you were doing it, and every time you did you felt the feeling between your legs increase.

“Do my fingers feel good, rolling both your nipples between my thumbs and forefingers?”  He questioned.

You gasped and let out another whimper as a response, still afraid of what your voice would actually sound like.

“Answer me.” He spoke.

“Your fingers feel good on me, JB.” You answer, “Your hands are so big.”

“Spread your legs for me,” He asks softly, “Can you feel the air against you?”

You spread your legs, feeling the air against your clit and gasped, “Fuck, John B.”

“Open yourself for me.  Tell me what you want”

“Your mouth, I want your mouth.” You whispered, “Please, John B.”

You weren’t sure how long you could last without touching yourself, the way he was talking to you was driving you absolutely wild and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

“My mouth?” He questioned, “You want my tongue inside of you?”

“Yes!” You whined.

“Do you want to touch yourself, babe?” He asked.

“Yes, please let me, JB.”

“Do you still feel the air on you? Do you feel me licking your slit?” John B asked completely disregarding your cries, “God you taste so good.”   The fact that you could now hear him touching himself clearly made you moan.

“I need you to touch me, John B. I’ve been doing what you told me to do, please.” You pleaded again.

“Are you turned on?” He asked.

“Yes”

“Are you wet?”

“I’m so wet- soaking.” You pleaded, “Please let me touch myself. I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He questioned.

“Mhm” You moaned pressing your thighs together. You were hoping that this would help you calm down, however it was just the opposite.

“I want you to put your hands on your slit, and then I want you to tell me what you want me to do.” John B commanded.

You didn’t waste any time moving your hands down and started rubbing yourself sighing with relief.

“Fuck me, John B.”

“I can’t think of anything else that I’d rather do.” He responded, “Now, I want you to do whatever feels good for you, okay? Feel free to slip in now.”

You continued to rub yourself as you left your finger slide inside of your while putting your other hand on your breast.  You sighed as you moved it slowly. You closed your eyes as you imagined John B giving you the pleasure that you were giving yourself. You pushed another finger inside of yourself and raised your hips just slightly as you pretended that they were his.

“One or two?” John B asked groaning.

“Two”

The slapping sounds against his flesh became very noticeable now and that just encouraged you to keep doing what you were doing.

“Fuck yourself faster,” John B grunted, “Fuck, you feel incredible.” Something about hearing him utter those words made you ache for him more.

You did what you were told and moved your fingers faster, still bucking against them.  Your fingers twisted and turned inside of you, finding the spot that you were desperately craving to find.

“Keep going, let me hear you.”

For the next few minutes the phone was filled with moans, gasps, grunts, and sighs. The two of you were pleasuring yourselves to no end, each of you wishing they were with one another to get your release. You could feel yourself building up as you continued to push your fingers inside of you. Biting your lip, you almost forgot that John B was on the other line until he spoke again.

“Play with your clit.”

You moved your fingers faster against yourself and moved the hand that was on your breast so it could pay full attention to your clit.

“J- So- You feel so good- Shit, John B!” You exclaimed moving your hand faster against your clit to drive yourself further. You began to get that feeling in the pit of your stomach and started to tighten around your fingers.

“I wish I could see you right now” John B started, “Watching you as you’re doing this. I bet you’re beautiful right now.”

“Close,” You whimpered.

John B let out an unreadable grunt and continued pumping himself through the phone. Along with the other sounds he was making, you could tell that he was close too.

“Make me cum, JB. Please.”  You said still moving your hand against your clit.

“Together, just-not long now,” His sentences were getting choppy, his breathing ragged and erratic.

You were trying so hard to hold out for him but you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to do it. Just as you were about to let out your release, you heard a small, “Now”.   You let out a small scream as you released and listened as John B let a small string of curse words as he came.

The two of you spent a few minutes in silence trying to catch your breaths after everything you had just done.  You smiled to yourself finally feeling satisfied for the first time in a while, and weirdly you honestly couldn’t wait until you saw John B tomorrow morning, to talk about what had just happened. This newfound confidence told you the conversation would go well.  You knew that right then wasn't the right time to say anything; especially after the moment you just shared.

“See you tomorrow?” You whispered.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” He said, “Bright and early?”

You continued to think.  You knew that this whole entire experience was wrong, but everything felt so right.  Although you loved Jason, you knew that you wanted to at least try and talk to John B about what happened.

You heard him yawn over the phone, realizing that between his busy day and everything else he must have been exhausted.

“Yes, definitely.” You smiled over the phone, “Get some sleep though, okay?”

“Call me some other time.” He said, his voice mixed with a lazy smile and exhaustion, “Goodnight.”

You knew exactly what he meant, and although you were still having mixed emotions you couldn’t wait to maybe call him again.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: In The Act {1}

Chris Evans x Famous OFC  Cassia Drake

Warning: Plot, Mild Cursing

Word Count: 2.2

Summary: After the release of your hit movie “Roman Holiday,” you’ve become Hollywood’s new “It Girl.” Everyone wants a piece of you. While at a Hollywood event, you get pulled into an epic selfie similar to the one from the MET Gala with the megastars of Hollywood. The next day all anyone can talk about is this epic picture but not because of the star power in it, but what was happening in it.

Note: Yep, another one. 

**Loosely Edited/Proofread**

**Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊  ❤️❤️

 “God, it’s hot!”

 You fanned your face and tried to cool your skin. It wasn’t helping one bit; you were just getting hotter.

 “My makeup is going to melt, and when I get there, I’ll be a hot mess.”

 “Calm down, Cass, I got you,” Tiffany said, whipping out a portable handheld power fan. The cool breeze was the best thing you’d felt all day.

 You hated getting ready for events. It was always a whole day thing that left your hair damaged, your skin dry and slightly irritated, your cheeks soar, your back aching, your feet cramped, and your energy completely gone. To you, this was one part of fame you didn’t like too much. You’d spent the last six hours getting ready for this event, and you were already counting down the hours to go home.

 “Fix your face. I’ve told you about the scowl. It causes wrinkles.” Pieter scolded. You rolled your eyes then closed them.

 “Ignore him,” Tiffany began fanning your agent and manager off before she continued. “You look incredible. You’re going to get out this limo, and you’re going to stun them on this red carpet and have a good time,” she finished.

You looked at her wide smile. “And maybe cop a few numbers. I hear the who is who of the industry is going to be there. Maybe a certain blue-eyed ex-captain will be there,” Tiffany added.

 You snorted and gave her the eye for her to stop. The last thing you needed was for Pieter to hear and actually understand your code. He had just gotten done hammering into you that dating was out of the questions now. According to him, you were going to be too busy with all your obligations. You needed to keep your eye on the prize and your career and not complicating it. He had a point. It was hard enough to set yourself apart from the countless other young actresses, but it would be harder for you because you were black. It was a known fact, a black actor in Hollywood had to work twice as hard, but a black actress had to work thrice as hard as them all put together. It was unfair, but it was what you’d signed up for, and you were determined to stake your claim in this glittering town where fallacies were the norm. So if Peiter said you had to put the nix on dating, then it was what you would do.

You could feel Pieter’s eyes burning a hole into you. Straightening, you held your head high. “Don’t be silly, Tiff. This is business.” Tiffany rolled her eyes while Pieter gave you an approving nod before he buried his face back into his phone.

 Tiffany adjusted her dress and took her cell phone out. You knew what she intended to do, so you took yours out as well and put it on silent.

 MSG Tiff: You give him too much power.

MSG: I give him as much power as he needs to have.

MSG Tiff: And he needs to have control over your personal life?

MSG: Tiff, you know what I’m up against. Cut me some slack.

 “Phones away, it’s time to work,” Pieter announced. You dropped your phone back into your clutch and prepared yourself for the sea of paps and deafening screams.

 When the limo stopped, there were a few moments of quiet before Pieter got out first on the opposite side that the red carpet was on.

 “Remember to have a good time, okay, Cass. Yeah, it’s work, but you’ve worked hard to get to this level of your career. It’s important to enjoy life as well as work,” Tiff cautioned with a gentle squeeze to your hand.

 You knew she was right, and times like these, you were happy that she was down to coming on this ride with you. You’d been friends since you were nine ever since she saved you lunch after you got sent to the principal’s office for getting into a fight with one of the boys from the other class who didn’t know how to shut up. Ever since then, you were inseparable. When you got your big break, there was no doubt you wanted her by your side for this wild ride.

 The door opened, and you took a deep breath before you stepped out with Pieter’s help. Once you stepped out, the screams got louder, and the flurry of camera flashes immediately blinded and stunned you. This wasn’t your first event, but they all still managed to stun you. Feeling Tiff’s hand take yours, you took a breath and squeezed it, fighting the nerves. You pulled her to your side and walked the carpet with your signature smile. As they screamed your name telling you where to look, it quickly got hectic.

You and Tiffany walked down the carpet posing and whispering to each other. Tiff pointed out funny things she peeped with the paps as well as other actors who walked the carpet with you. When you came to these things with Tiffany, she always managed to take you out of the seriousness of it all, and you were grateful for it.

 After giving a few interviews and posing for a few more pictures, you went inside to find your seats. This event was a banquet that was geared towards the collaboration of fashion and film. There would be speeches, recognition, networking, and, most importantly, for you and Tiff, food, and alcohol.

 “Ms. Drake, allow me to show you to your seats.”

 You nodded and let one of the ushers lead you through the floor. As you passed people, you smiled and waved. When they saw you, everyone wanted to stop you and compliment your hair, dress, makeup, jewels, and, most importantly, your performance in Roman Holiday. What should have been a minute walk across the floor turned into a mini networking catwalk. You didn’t get to your table for another thirty minutes. By the time you sat, Tiff was on queue with pouring a glass of champagne.

 “It’s Ace of Spades. Do you think Jay and Bey are gonna be here?”

 You snorted and shook your head. Her goal was to meet Beyoncé and Jay Z. you couldn’t fault her, whose goal wasn’t to meet them. You tapped glasses and downed the liquid with a moan. It was good.

 “The way they were touching you, I thought you’d be missing a few jewels,” Tiff joked. Your laugh couldn’t be suppressed, and it rang out, bringing the attention of a few people around you.

 “Stop it, you’re going to make them think I have no couth,” you whined to her in a whisper.

 “Oh please. Even if you showed to be uncouth, they would still flock to you. Everyone wants a piece of you now. Soak it up.”

 She was right. Since the premiere of Roman Holiday eight months ago, your name was at the tip of everyone’s tongue. You’d done at least six magazine shoots and countless interviews where the term “it girl” was thrown around quite a lot. The film had already rolled in over four hundred million at the box office, and you’d gotten calls from almost every big-name director wanting a meeting. It was overwhelming, but you tried to stay on top of it. Pieter said to ride the wave and learn how to jump to another that is higher.

 “Hollywood is fickle, let’s not give them any fuel to turn the tides,” you said through a plastered smile while looking around you, returning the eye contact of those who were looking and whispering.

 You still hadn’t gotten over the whispers. You never knew if they were good, or bad and it always got to you. When everyone took their seats, the event began. This was when the stares and whispers stopped. Everyone’s eyes were trained to the stage ahead, which gave you a reprieve. The show was filled with laughs, applause, and small talk. Tiffany had you in stitches, making fun of all the pomp and ridiculousness around you while those sitting around you did their best to keep your attention. You nodded, smiled, and did your best not to appear starstruck though you were more times than you could count.

After the show, and dinner it was again time to mingle and rub elbows. Thankfully good music helped. You walked around the room arm in arm with Tiff talking amongst yourselves. Every so often, you stopped and chatted with someone. First, it was Zac who was more buff in person then MBJ, who was just as charming as you’d expected him to be. When you were pulled to the side by Zendaya, who was still drop-dead gorgeous, you did your best to not come off as an amateur, but you found yourself hanging off of every word she spoke. It took you some time to recover.

 When the music cranked up, and the talking turned down, you found yourself even more at ease. Tiffany was the only reason why you let loose the way you did. She urged you to dance and let your real self out while not caring who watched or what they said. Every time you tried, you saw Pieter from the corner of your eyes giving you a stern look that said keep it classy. So classy is what you kept it. It didn’t stop Tiffany from having the time of her life. You were glad for it. She deserved it.

 By the time you looked at your phone, it was nearing two in the morning, and you were more than ready to go. Your feet were killing you, and you were tired of wearing clothes. You just wanted to lounge in bed completely naked while eating a pint of ice cream. As you made your move to leave with Tiff and Pieter on either side of you, you heard your name being shouted from across the room. You looked and saw a huddle of people waving you over.

 “Go,” Pieter urged damn near pushing you toward them. You took Tiffany with you. When you got closer, it became clear what was going on. A group of at least ten of them were trying to get a selfie with everyone in the frame while one of them held their phone attached to a selfie stick. You snorted, remembering another photo like it.

 “Come on, you guys, get in,” John Boyega invited.

 “Absolutely,” Tiffany responded, pulling you along with her as she submerged herself in the crowd.

They all made room for you to squeeze in, and a squeeze was what it was. You looked to your left and nearly passed out. You were standing next to Chris Evans. His eyes met yours, and he gave you a friendly smile. As quickly as your eyes met, you looked away, finding Tiffany already looking. Your jaw dropped, giving her a look that she eagerly returned. You did your best to act cool and pose.

 “All right, everyone, squish in.”

 As instructed, everyone squished together. You felt his breath on your ear before you heard him.

 “Is it okay?”

 “What?” He leaned closer, giving you an even closer look at his lips. They looked soft.

 “Is it okay, my hand?” You looked down to his arm as it registered what he was asking.

 “Yeah, yeah. It’s cool,” you answered.

 Chris’s arm wrapped around you, touching you in the middle of your back. Your heart literally skipped a beat, but you faked it and kept your cool.

 “On three. One, two, three,” everyone counted down. Once at three, you smiled and struck your pose. As according to Hollywood standards, one picture was not good enough, two and three followed before a random paparazzi got in on the action and snapped a few as well. No one seemed to care, though.

 “That was epic!” You didn’t know who it came from, but everyone erupted in laughter.

 After going through a round of hugs with those who leaned in for one, you made your exit then got in the car. Once inside, you kicked off your heels and begged Tiffany to unhook the back of your corset. You couldn’t take it any longer. Pieter went over your schedule for later, but you barely listened. You were ready to call it a night and pass out.

 Tiffany was the first to be dropped off, which left you and Pieter. He talked and talked. You were convinced he liked to hear himself talk. You knew everything he was saying was necessary, but you also knew that he would send an email and a text about the same thing in a few hours. You knew him that well. When he was dropped off, that was the first moment of peace you had all night. The silence was comforting.

 You walked into your house just as it was turning three, and you wasted no time stripping your clothes off as you walked upstairs. Once in your bedroom, you only had your underwear on.

 “Bed. Oh, how I’ve missed you.” You dropped face down, and before your head hit the five thousand thread count comforter, you were asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lee’s Note: What do y’all think? Should I continue?

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***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[luvidzy]

☆ genre: fluff

☆ pairing: shin ryujin x reader

☆ summary: during your first night in seoul, you go to the rooftop of your apartment. you didn’t expect to meet a gorgeous girl up there.

☆ word count: 3.3k

☆ listen to: new light by john mayer

You knew Seoul was big, but for some reason you weren’t expecting it to be this big. It was so big that you almost felt suffocated, even as you were unpacking in your apartment. The feeling wasn’t helped by the fact this was your first time living alone and away from home. You felt lonely, anxious, and even as you looked out the window and out onto the bright lights of the city, you couldn’t shake the feeling of dread and anxiety.

It was 10 pm before you finished unpacking most of your things, having spent the whole day rummaging through boxes to at least get the essentials unpacked before tomorrow. Your apartment was starting to feel a bit more like home, but it did little to ease your nerves.

You looked at your phone, screen indicating the time, before you took one more look out the window. The city was beautiful, but you couldn’t help but think it would look more beautiful if you could experience it in a place you could breathe. 

That was when you remembered what the building owner had told you when you had been looking at the apartment. That you had access to the roof of the building. She had informed you that not many people went up there, considering it wasn’t very interesting, but that you were free to wander up there if you so wanted.

So, without any further hesitation, you grabbed a sweatshirt and your key, walking out the door and to the stairs that would lead you up to the rooftop of your apartment building. 

The minute you pushed the door to the roof opened, you were hit with a refreshing blast of cold air. You took a deep breath as you stepped onto the roof, admiring the dark black sky above you and the twinkling lights of the city that surrounded you. Walking a bit closer to the edge, you made sure to keep a safe distance as to not fall before you smiled to yourself.

For the first time since arriving in Seoul, your brain has calmed and your heart has stopped racing. You felt yourself relax into your sweatshirt as you stared out at the city, the cold breeze lightly brushing past your hair and cheeks every so often. You hummed happily to yourself as you admired and took in the city from above.

You were so enraptured with the view and the calm feeling that you didn’t hear the door to the roof open, nor did you hear the footsteps that approached you.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” You jumped ever so slightly as you whipped your head to look at where the voice had come from. Standing a foot away from you was a girl with short black hair smiling at you. She was breathtaking and, had you not been so relaxed, you probably would have ran away. Instead you found yourself smiling back at her, turning your attention back to the cityscape.

“Yeah, it is,” you replied, eyes twinkling from happiness. The girl chuckled as she moved a bit closer to you, moving to lean against the wall that enclosed the rooftop.

“I haven’t seen you up here before. You new?” she asked. You nodded as you joined her to lean against the wall.

“Yeah. I actually just moved in today. My name is Y/N,” you said, looking at her and reaching a hand out. She looked at your hand, before grinning and taking your hand in hers.

“Nice to meet you. My name is Ryujin,” she introduced, before moving her hand back to lean against the wall. You two sat in silence for a few moments, simply enjoying the view and the distant noise of Seoul at night. You didn’t know how long you spent up there, but after a fairly long while of silence, you felt yourself getting a bit sleepy. You turned to Ryujin with a soft smile, eyes dropping a bit lazily.

“As much as I love the rooftop, I’m a bit tired and I have to wake up early tomorrow. I’ll see you later, Ryujin.” Ryujin nodded, giving you a smile and a small wave as you walked to the door and to your apartment. Laying down in your messy bedroom, you smiled to yourself, falling asleep to the thought of the rooftop and Ryujin.

The next day went fairly smoothly, far smoother than you were expecting. Your first day of work in Seoul was good and all your coworkers seemed really nice. They even invited you out to go drinking with them, but you turned them down in favor of getting back to your apartment to finish unpacking. 

After a long day of work, the last thing you wanted to do was unpack, but you forced yourself to finish in favor of not having to do it later on in the week. So, after hours of unpacking with only a small break for dinner, you finally flopped down on your couch. You were sweating slightly from working so hard, and your apartment’s air conditioning was broken and would be until tomorrow afternoon. So, you made the decision to head up to the roof to cool yourself down before bed. 

To your surprise, Ryujin was already up there when you arrived, hearing your entrance and smiling at you.

‘Well hello there. Nice to see you again.” You smiled as you moved to stand next to her.

“Nice to see you too. Do you come up here every night?” you asked, stuffing your hands in your jacket pocket.

“Not every night, but I try to come up here as often as I can. My roommates can be a little overwhelming sometimes, so it’s nice to come up here to just relax and get some air,” she explained, staring out at the city. You nodded.

“Understandable. I figured I’d come up here to get some air. It’s been quite a busy day.” Ryujin turned to you, an eyebrow raised in a silent request to hear more.

“I started my first day of work. Everyone I worked with is really nice, but it’s difficult getting used to a new work environment. I also had to finish unpacking which, as you probably know, is very tiring,” you sighed. Ryujin hummed in agreement, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Well, it’s really nice to have someone else up here. I usually prefer being alone but I like being around you,” Ryujin explained. You felt yourself flush ever so slightly at her words, before returning the smile back to her.

“I like being around you too, Ryujin.” She chuckled slightly, before she stood up straight and pulled out her phone. You watched her curiously as she opened her phone and passed it to you. You grabbed the phone, looking at her in confusion which elicited a chuckle from her.

“Your phone number. We are friends now, right?” You nodded happily, quickly typing in your name, number, and even your apartment number so Ryujin could find your apartment if needed. Shooting her a smile, you handed her phone back and waved.

“Bye, Ryujin,” you said, before heading back to your apartment, smile not fading the whole way to your bed.

Days like this continued on for quite a while, with you heading up to the roof late at night and Ryujin either already waiting for you or joining you not long after. You two became fast friends, loving to talk to one another about anything and everything. Ryujin told you all about her roommates and their antics and you told Ryujin stories about your childhood and current workplace.

It was nice to spend your nights with Ryujin. She was cool, kind, and overall a comfortable person to be around. She made you feel heard, and she never hesitated to make you laugh even when you were having a bad day.

As days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, you and Ryujin inevitably had to stop meeting on the rooftop. Now that winter was here, it was far too cold to spend time up on the rooftop together. Which was how you ended up nervously waiting in front of Ryujin’s apartment door.

You didn’t know why you were so nervous. You had talked to Ryujin countless times before, this was pretty much no different. Maybe it was because this felt so much more intimate, her inviting you into her home instead of just meeting in a public space.

The thought made you flush ever so slightly. You would be lying to yourself if you said that you hadn’t fallen for Ryujin in the time that you had known her. How could you not? She was unlike anyone else you met and with the amount of times she jokingly flirted with you, you were bound to catch feelings at some point. Not that you were mad about it though. She was probably one of the best people you could have fallen for.

Your nerves dissipated a bit as the door opened and a smiling Ryujin was revealed to you. She moved aside, allowing you to take your first steps into her apartment. It was fairly cozy and you could definitely tell that it was an apartment for 5 girls. The living room was a little cramped, but not enough to be garish in any way. The walls were covered in pictures and posters, and sitting on the large couch in front of the TV were 3 girls who instantly waved to you.

You recognized them immediately as Yeji, Chaeryoung, and Lia. Ryujin talked about them a lot and showed you lots of photos so you were able to identify them pretty easily. They all wore smiles as you and Ryujin approached.

“Guys, this is Y/N. Y/N, you already know them but this is Yeji, Chaeryoung, and Lia. Yuna is picking up the food right now so you’ll get to meet her later,” Ryujin explained. You nodded, stepping into the living room and sitting down on one of the chairs.

“We are really glad to meet you!” Chaeryoung was the first to speak, her delicate features morphing into a smile as you grinned back at her.

“Yeah. Ryujin never shuts up about you so-” Lia was cut off as Ryujin smacked her arm slightly before moving to sit on the chair next to you. Lia chuckled to herself as she rubbed the spot she had been hit in, looking a little too pleased with the reaction she had gotten. Brushing off the strange interactions, you smiled at all of them.

“Well, I’m glad to meet you too. Ryujin tells me all about you guys so it’s nice to finally get to see the same people that she tells stories about,” you replied kindly. The girls were very easy to talk to, asking you questions about yourself and answering any questions that you posed back to them.

After about half an hour, Yuna walked in, instantly rushing to put the food down and greeting you. You smiled at her enthusiasm, laughing a bit as Ryujin rolled her eyes at Yuna.

The 6 of you ate together, making small talk and watching a trash reality tv show that was playing. When you were done with dinner, Ryujin took your plate into the kitchen, before leading you to her bedroom, shouting a reminder to not bother you two behind her. 

Her bedroom was very obviously one that she shared with one of the other girls. The bedroom held two beds, one of them lofted and the other not. Ryujin led you to the lofted bed, motioning for you to join her on the couch that was underneath her bed. 

“This is my room. That side is Yeji’s side and this is my side,” Ryujin explained. You nodded, taking in all the decorations and the aroma of essential oils that seemed to come from Yeji’s side mainly, but circulated around the whole room.

“So, which one of you gets their own room?” You asked, sending her a smile. Ryujin groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Chaeryoung. We did a Mario Kart tournament for the largest room and she won. Lia and Yuna share the room down the hall.” You nodded in understanding as Ryujin messed around on her laptop a little bit. Suddenly some music began playing from a wall mounted speaker. You smiled at her before continuing to talk to her about everything and nothing.

You didn’t even notice that as time went on, you and Ryujin moved closer and closer until you were sitting so close that you could practically hear each other whisper or breathe. It felt nice to be this close to her, almost natural in a sense. You giggled at something she said, making her laugh as well. You moved your head forward as you giggled, but stopped abruptly when you realized how close to Ryujin you actually were. 

Everything stilled as you and Ryujin looked at each other, eyes wide and mouths parted open. You felt your breath pick up and your heart pound as Ryujin’s glossy brown eyes darted down to your lips. You felt her move closer and you followed, before your brain finally caught up to your actions and immediately sent panic into your brain.

You pulled back, your face hot as you stared at Ryujin, whose eyes had become almost unreadable from a distance. And before you could stop yourself you stood up and smiled at her.

“I just remembered that I need to do something at my apartment. I’ll see you later, Ryujin.” You darted out of the room, waving a quick goodbye to Ryujin’s roommates and heading into the hallway. You were quick to rush to your apartment, in case Ryujin decided to follow you out. It wasn’t until you were fully safe behind your own door that you let out the breath that you had been holding, your mind running a mile a minute.

You had almost kissed Ryujin. You kept repeating that thought in your mind as you paced around your apartment, not really knowing what to do. Did you like Ryujin like that? You were sure that you did, but you didn’t want to rush into anything. Did Ryujin feel the same way? That was a question you couldn’t be certain about and you certainly just blew your opportunity to find out.

Your brain had too many thoughts in it, too many questions, and it was making you panic. So you attempted to push it out of your brain, though you failed miserably, and fell onto your bed for a very poor night of sleep.

The next couple of days felt like you were underwater. You were so focused on trying to figure things out, replaying that night in your mind, that it was affecting your work and your everyday life. You were starting to fall behind on your work and than panicked to try and rush to fix it before you could get fired. All the while your brain was working to also solve your issue with Ryujin.

It also didn’t help that you had no one to talk to about this. Ryujin had been your only close friend since you had arrived in Seoul. You told her everything, ranted about everything, but you obviously couldn’t rant to her about an issue that involved her and your feelings for her. Your coworkers were sweet, but you were not close enough to any of them to tell them about this. 

So you made the habit of going home and just pacing, crying, and or screaming. Anything to get all this pent up confusion and frustration out of your mind and into the atmosphere. 

Ryujin had tried to contact you since then but you were far too worried right now to answer her. You needed to sort out your own thoughts and you were afraid that Ryujin would, though not on purpose, only confuse you more.

A week after the incident, your mind was finally calming down a little bit. You had come to the conclusion that you indeed like Ryujin and that you did indeed want to kiss her. You had also come to the conclusion that you needed to talk to Ryujin soon. Whether or not she felt the same wasn’t important right now. What was important was that you told her how you felt so you could finally go back to living a normal life, or at least as normal a life as you could.

Which is how you ended up two days later standing at Ryujin’s door, heart racing as your fist finished knocking. The door opened fairly quickly, revealing a smiling Yeji.

“Y/N! Good to see you! We’ve been worried about you. Ryujin hasn’t shut up since you ran out the other night. She’s in our room, if you want to talk to her,” Yeji said, letting you walk in. You gave her a hug of thanks, before making your way to the door. It was cracked open, just enough that you could see Ryujin sitting on her couch, headphones on. You took a deep breath, summoning your confidence before you pushed the door open.

Ryujin’s head snapped up instantly, her face instantly lighting up at the sight of you. You felt guilt eat away at you at her expression. Clearly she had not been as panicked as you and you felt guilty for ignoring her for so long. She moved her headphones, eyes sparkling as you moved to sit next to her, your knees knocking into hers a little bit.

“Hey! I was worried, you weren’t answering my texts. I thought maybe I had scared you off,” she said. You looked up at her and almost instantly your nerves were eased. She wasn’t angry at you, nor was she annoyed. She was just worried about you running off.

“I’m sorry. I just…”

“Just what? It’s okay, you can tell me anything, Y/N.” Ryujin’s voice was so soft, so comforting, that it took everything in you to not kiss her right there. You grabbed her hand, watching as she responded instantly, holding your hand back and softly rubbing it with her thumb.

“Ryujin, I think that I’ve fallen for you. I didn’t mean to scare you, I just didn’t know how to feel yet and when we almost kissed it made me panic. I’m sorry for not responding to you, I was just trying to figure out how I felt. But I know now. Ryujin, I really like you. And I hope that my stupidity isn’t enough to drive you away,” you felt yourself cringe away, awaiting a response that you could only hope would be positive. You only relaxed when you heard Ryujin’s soft chuckles, a smile on her face as she peered at you.

“It’s gonna take a lot more than your stupidity to drive me away, Y/N. Besides, I like you too.” Your eyes widened as a smile began to grow on your face. You couldn’t stop yourself as you practically tackled Ryujin into a hug on her couch. Ryujin laughed as you squeezed her, face buried in her neck as she held you tight and leaned down to press a soft kiss to her head.

You didn’t say anything else. Simply laid together, holding one another and relishing in the moment.

“Do you want to go to the roof?” Ryujin asked, suddenly. You furrowed your eyebrows, moving to look at her.

“It’s freezing outside though.”

“Yeah, but I wanna go to the place I first met you. I want to relish that the roof brought me and the most pretty, though stupid, girl ever together.” You narrowed your eyes in thought, Ryujin laughing at your face.

“I’ll let you wear my sweatshirt?” She laughed as you sprung up, ready to go. Sweatshirt safely in your arms and both your hands clasped together, you and Ryujin walked together to your roof, smiling the whole way there.

[heyhey-heyward]

NO I DON’T | part five

series masterlist

summary: In which Rafe ruins a perfectly good night.

word count: 2.4k

let me know what you think! this is the final part, but I could be persuaded to do like an epilogue type continuation 

It was decided that everyone would get ready and meet at your house, with the exception of Pope, who had to go earlier and help his dad set up. Kiara was grinning from ear to ear as she watched you put the final touches one your look for the evening. A knock on your bedroom door startled both you and Kiara, and she rushed to answer it.

“Hey, is JJ with you?” You heard Kiara asked, poking her head out the door. You shook your head at her, still not understanding just why she was insistent on keeping your dress a secret for some big reveal.

“No, he’s on his way, though.” The familiar voice of John B filtered into your room. His answer must have been good enough for Kiara, because she stepped aside to let him in. “Wow, you guys look amazing. JJ is going to lose his mind when he sees you.”

“Shut up, JB.” You groaned, dropping to sit on the edge of your bed. Things had been awkward with JJ since your conversation at the ice cream shop, and you were doing your best to try and not think about it. Though, the confused look on John B’s face told you that you weren’t getting away with it so easily.

“Did something happen? Because he’s been really pouty since you took him shopping.” The brunette boy asked, and your gaze dropped to the ground in embarrassament.

“I may have… kissed him. On accident.” You hurried to clarify as you watched both John B’s and Kiara’s faces light up. John B was the first to react, a loud laugh that covered up the sound of your groan as you buried your face in your hands.

“What do you mean, by accident?” Kiara asked after swatting John B’s shoulder to get him to quiet down.

“I don’t know! He was sneaking out of my room the other night and when I was saying bye I just… kissed him!” You explained, throwing your arms up in despair. John B was still laughing, and you could tell Kiara was trying to hide her smile, but you weren’t amused. “And then after we went shopping he asked me about it and I told him it meant nothing and that we’re just friends.”

“Are you kidding me?” John B exclaimed at your confession. He was still smiling, but most of his joy had melted away into an almost exhausted look, as if he was tired of dealing with you and JJ. “ You guys are both, like, in love with each other and neither of you can actually tell each other that. JJ probably died the moment you kissed him.”

“That’s not true—” You started to deny, but were cut off when your dad called out that JJ had arrived.

“Wait here, I’m going to make sure he did his tie the right way.” Kiara jumped up from her spot and raced out the door before you could even stand. You could feel John B’s gaze on you, and the bed dip as he sat beside you.

“What if I don’t know how to act around him now and ruin our friendship?” You mumbled, finally letting the fears you had about JJ out. John B huffed, and though you were studying your hands intently, you could feel him press a kiss to the side of your head.

“You’ll be fine. You always are.” He assured you. The soft side of your best friend was showing, and you were grateful that you had him in your life. You didn’t get the chance to respond, because you could hear Kiara calling your name. John B stood, offering his hand to you and helped pull you to your feet. “C’mon, let’s go to this stupid party.”

“Such a way with words.” You rolled your eyes, smiling nonetheless as you let him lead you to the top of the stairs. You linked your arm through his, and when you finally saw everyone that was waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs, it felt as if you were in a movie.

Your parents were there, your dad taking photos as your mom watched on with pride. Kiara was grinning, caught up in the excitement of everything. But your focus wasn’t on them. You were too busy admiring JJ, who was smiling widely at you. You had already seen him in the suit, but coupled with the fact that he had styled his hair, he looked twice as good. Your heart skipped a beat as you realized he had a bouquet of flowers for you, and as soon as you reached the bottom steps you headed straight towards JJ.

“Hi.” You breathed, too caught up in how good he looked and the way he was smiling at you to realize John B had moved away from your side. Your mind was racing but all you could think about was the blonde before you.

“Hey. These are for you.” JJ thrusted the flowers towards you, and you laughed lightly as you took them. You barely had the chance to thank him before he continued talking. “You look really, really good.”

“You clean up nice yourself.” He was flustered, but so were you, and you weren’t sure what else to say. Luckily you were spared having to come up with small talk in your frazzled state as your mom started ushering everyone to set up for photos.

“Oh, you guys all look so nice.” Your mom cooed, and you groaned, embarrassed by her antics. Still, you smiled and posed for however many photos she wanted. Eventually you were freed, and the four of you couldn’t get into John B’s van fast enough.

No matter how much you didn’t want to go to Midsummers, you had to admit that you were having fun. You had found Pope pretty quickly after arriving, and for a while you were distracted from not knowing where you stood with JJ. Kiara grabbed your hand and pulled you onto the dancefloor, where you spent what felt like forever simply having a good time.

“JJ’s been practically drooling over you all night. Did you see his face when he finally saw your dress? I’m glad I made him wait to see it.” Kiara teased, earning an eye roll. You couldn’t argue, you had felt JJ’s eyes on you practically the whole night, but you were too stubborn to tell that to Kiara. Instead of responding, the upbeat song you had been dancing to changed to one that was much slower and you let out a sigh. Just as you and Kiara turned to leave the dance floor, JJ and John B appeared.

“M’ladies.” JJ pretended to tip an imaginary hat and you curtsied in response. He grinned at you, offering you his hand. “May I have this dance?”

“Only if you stop talking like that.” You giggled, not even noticing your other two friends slip into the crowd as your hands locked around the back of JJ’s neck and his landed on your waist. You started swaying to the music, quickly finding yourself lost in his baby blue eyes. You caught yourself staring and cleared your throat, looking away to try and save yourself some embarrassment. “So, how are you liking being a Kook for the night?”

“I’ve only gotten four dirty looks and been mistaken for a waiter twice, so that’s good.” He joked and you shook your head at him with a grin. It was obvious this wasn’t his scene, considering that this was probably the first time you had seen him so dressed up, but he clearly wasn’t hating it.

“I’m really glad you’re here, even though we were supposed to watch C.H.U.D. tonight.” You teased, watching as his smile widened.

“It’s a good movie!” He argued and you laughed loudly, drawing a few stares from the older couples around you. JJ’s hands squeezed your sides and he pulled you closer to him, the look in his eyes softening to a more sincere one. “But seriously, I’m glad I came too. Anything to spend time with you.”

Your heart soared at his words and you had to remind yourself not to completely melt under his touch and gaze. You shared a smile with him, and suddenly your eyes were fluttering shut as you both leaned towards each other slowly. You could feel his breath fanning across your face and his nose brush against your cheek, and then—

“Why are there so many Pogues on our side of the island?”

Rafe. The sound of his voice caused you and JJ to jump apart. The Cameron boy was smiling smugly at you and JJ, with his typical goons Topper and Kelce flanking him. JJ stepped in front of you, as if to be a shield from whatever Rafe was going to do.

“Just leave, Rafe. Don’t cause a scene.” You tried to reason, but the older boy just turned his maniacal grin on you. The crowd around you kept dancing, but John B and Kiara had returned and were watching the interaction from a few feet away.

“Why are you even hanging around these guys? You could do so much better. You’re a Kook now. You have a future, he doesn’t.” Rafe’s voice was sickly sweet, not bothering to look to JJ as he gestured towards him at the end of his tirade. The insulted blonde took a step forward as if he was going to fight Rafe, but your hand shot out to catch his arm. He stopped, but you could feel how tense he was under your touch.

“Come on, let’s just go.” John B cut in, sliding between JJ and Rafe to diffuse the situation. JJ’s jaw was set tight, but after a gentle nudge from his brunette best friend they headed towards the exit. You started to follow them, but your mom caught you on your way out, telling you that you had to stay.

While the first half of the party was fun, the second half seemed to drag on forever. Rafe kept sending you smug looks, clearly happy that he managed to ruin your night. As soon as you got home, you changed out of your dress and barely had time to bid your parents goodnight before you were hopping into your car and pulling out of the driveway.

Everyone was already at The Chateau when you parked your car. JJ and Pope took up residence in the two hammocks, and John B and Kiara sat in chairs nearby. When they saw you approaching, everyone but the blonde got up to give you a minute alone with JJ.

“Good luck.” John B muttered as he pressed a kiss to the side of your when passing you. You smiled at him, and once the three of them were all the way inside you finally approached the brooding boy.

“I was wrong, JJ.” You sighed, climbing into the hammock with him. He didn’t say anything, though he opened his arms for you to lay on side with your head on his chest. “The kiss was an accident, but it wasn’t nothing. Not to me, at least. I panicked, and told myself that you didn’t feel the same so when you confronted me about it, I lied.”

“You were wrong, then.” JJ mumbled. One of his hands moved up to brush up and down your back soothingly. You let out a sigh of content under his touch and waited for him to find the words you knew he was searching for. “I just… do you like me? More than friends?”

“Yeah, I do.”

You didn’t hesitate to tell him so. It felt good to finally tell him, and after everything that had happened tonight, you were hopeful that there was a chance he felt the same. You gathered all your courage and tilted your head up to look up at him, only to find him already watching you.

“Why?” The question was simple and innocent, but you knew he was still thinking about what Rafe had said. No matter how wrong the older boy was, JJ had been hearing things like that his whole life. It got to him from time to time, and it broke your heart to see the vulnerable look in his eyes.

“Because you’re the funniest guy I know. You’re so easy to be around, and I feel like I can do anything when I’m with you.” You confessed, pouring your heart out to him. It was all true, you meant every word and you wondered why it had taken you so long to realize how you felt. “You’re my person, J.”

Before you really knew it, his hand was cupping your jaw and he had leaned forward enough to press his lips against yours. It was soft and slow as a result of the awkward position you were in. When you shifted up towards him, the kiss deepened and his hand fell to your waist.

You pulled apart to breathe, though you didn’t get far. Your face hovered over his as you searched his eyes for answers to questions you hadn’t asked. He smiled, and you couldn’t help but notice that he looked much more relaxed than he had moments earlier.

“For the record, I like you too.” He joked, and you laughed quietly before pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips. “Why else do you think I would put up with going to Midsummers?” You shook your head with a smile, brushing your fingers across his cheekbone.

“Well, I’m glad you did, even if Rafe is a massive jerk.” You hummed, leaning back in to press your lip against JJ’s again. This kiss was sweet and slow, neither of you in a hurry and just drinking each other in. Your whole body felt on fire and you distantly wondered why you had taken so long to tell him how you felt—or why it had taken you so long to realize you even had feelings for him.

“JJ, can you not do that in my hammock?” John B called from the porch, and you heard Pope and Kiara snickering beside him as you and JJ broke apart from each other. You didn’t bother looking at them, too entranced by the blonde that was looking at you as if you put the stars in the sky. You smiled at him, brushing a strand of his hair off of his forehead. JJ copied your smile, though he quickly glanced at the spectators on the porch.

“I’m just appreciating her.”

fin.

—

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tags with a strikethrough didn’t work

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JULY 21

‘Tis the season to beat the heat at the always-cold theatres and next to fans set at turbo speed. While my movie watching slowed a bit with the launch of the Summer Olympics on July 23rd, I’ve still got plenty of popcorn-ready and artsy recommendations for you. A few themes in the new-to-me pop culture I’m recommending this month:

Casts oozing with embarrassing levels of talent (sometimes overqualified for the movies they’re in)

Pop culture that is responding or reinterpreting past pop culture

Stories that get weEeEeird

Keep on-a-scrollin’ to see which is which!

July Crowd-Pleasers

1. Double Feature – ‘90s Rom-Coms feat. Lots of Lies: Mystery Date (1991) + The Pallbearer (1996)

In Mystery Date (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Ethan Hawke and Teri Polo get set up on a blind date that gets so bizarre and crime-y I’m not sure how this didn’t come out in the ‘80s. In The Pallbearer (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), David Schwimmer and Gwyneth Paltrow try to combine The Graduate with Four Weddings and a Funeral in a story about lost twentysomethings. If you don’t like rom-coms in which circumstances depend on lots of lies and misunderstandings, these won’t be your jam, but if you’re like me and don’t mind these somewhat-cliché devices, you’ll be hooked by likeable casts and plenty of rom and com.

2. The Tomorrow War (2021)

I thought of no fewer movies than this list while watching: Alien, Aliens, Angel Has Fallen, Cloverfield, Interstellar, Kong: Skull Island, Prometheus, A Quiet Place: Part II, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith, The Silence of the Lambs, The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and World War Z. And you know what? I like all those movies! (Okay, maybe I just have a healthy respect/fear of The Silence of the Lambs.) The Tomorrow War may not be original, but it borrows some of the best tropes and beats from the sci-fi and action genres, so much so I wish I could’ve seen Chris Pratt and Co. fight those gross monsters on a big screen. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10

3. Dream a Little Dream (1989)

My July pick for the Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! I CANNOT explain the mechanics of this body switch comedy to you—nor can the back of the DVD case above—but, boy, what an ‘80s MOOD. I did not know I needed to see a choreographed dance routine starring Jason Robards and Corey Feldman, but I DID. All I know is some movies are made for me and that I’m now a card-carrying member of the Two Coreys fan club. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

4. Black Widow (2021)

The braids! The Pugh! Black Widow worked for me both as an exciting action adventure and as a respite from the Marvel adventures dependent on a long memory of the franchise. (Well, mostly—keep reading for a second MCU rec much more dependent on the gobs of previous releases.) Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

5. Liar Liar (1997)

Guys, Jim Carrey is hilarious. That’s it—that’s the review. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Sob Rock by John Mayer (2021)

It’s very possible I’ve already listened to this record more than all other John Mayer records. It doesn’t surpass the capital-G Greatness of Continuum, but it’s a little bit of old school Mayer, a little bit ‘80s soft rock/pop, and I’ve had it on repeat most of the two weeks since it’s been out. Featuring the boppiest bop that ever bopped, at least one lyrical gem in every track, and an ad campaign focused on Walkmans, this record skirts the line between Crowd faves and Critic-worthy musicianship.

7. Double Feature – ‘00s Ben Affleck Political Thrillers: The Sum of All Fears (2002) + State of Play (2009)

In The Sum of All Fears (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), Ben Affleck is Jack Ryan caught up in yet another international incident. In State of Play (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), he’s a hotshot Congressman caught up in a scandal. Both are full of plot twists and unexpected turns, and in both, Affleck is accompanied by actors you’re always happy to see, like Jason Bateman, James Cromwell, Russell Crowe, Jeff Daniels, Viola Davis, Morgan Freeman, Philip Baker Hall, David Harbour, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren, Liev Schreiber, and Robin Wright—yes, I swear all of those people are in just those two movies.

8. Loki (2021-)

Unlike Black Widow, you can’t go into Loki with no MCU experience. The show finds clever ways to nudge us with reminders (and did better at it than Falcon and the Winter Soldier), but be forewarned that at some point, you’re just going to have to let go and accept wherever this timeline-hopper is taking you. An ever-charismatic cast keeps us grounded (Owen Wilson, Jonathan Majors, and an alligator almost steal the show from Tom Hiddleston in some eps), but while Falcon lasted an episode or two too long, Loki could’ve used a few more to flesh out its complicated plot and develop its characters. Thankfully, the jokes matter almost as much as the sci-fi, so you can still have fun even if you have no idea what’s going on.

9. Double Feature – Bruce Willis: Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995) + The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Before Bruce Willis began starring in many random direct-to-DVD movies I only ever hear about in my Redbox emails, he was a Movie Star smirking his way up the box office charts. In the third Die Hard (Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), he teams up with Samuel L. Jackson to decipher the riddles of a terrorist madman (Jeremy Irons), and it’s a thrill ride. In The Whole Nine Yards (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), he’s hitman that screws up dentist Matthew Perry’s boring life in Canada, and—aside from one frustrating scene of let’s-objectify-women-style nudity—it’s hilarious.

10. This Is the End (2013)

On paper, this is not a movie for me. An irreverent stoner comedy about a bunch of bros partying it up before the end of the world? None of things are for Taylors. But with a little help of a TV edit to pare down the raunchy and crude bits, I laughed my way through and spent the next several days thinking through its exploration of what makes a good person. While little of the plot is accurate to Christian Gospel and theology, some of its big ideas are consistent enough with the themes of the book of Revelation I found myself thinking about it again in church this morning. (Would love to know if Seth Rogen ever expected that.) Plus, I love a good self-aware celebrity spoof—can’t tell you how many times I’ve just laughed remembering the line, “It’s me, Jonah Hill, from Moneyball”—and an homage to horror classics. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

July Critic Picks

1. Summer of Soul (…or, When the Television Could Not Be Televised) (2021)

Even director Questlove didn’t know about the Harlem Cultural Festival, but now he’s compiled the footage so we can all enjoy one of the coolest music fest lineups ever, including The 5th Dimension, B.B. King, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Nina Simone, Sly and the Family Stone, and Stevie Wonder, who made my friend’s baby dance more than once in the womb. See it on the big screen for top-notch audio. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

2. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Robin Williams takes on the bureaucracy, disillusionment, and malaise of the Vietnam War with comedy. Williams was a one-of-a-kind talent, and here it’s on display at a level on par with Aladdin. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

3. Against the Rules Season 2 (2020-21)

Michael Lewis (author of Moneyball, adapted into a film starring Jonah Hill), is interested in how we talk about fairness. This season he looks at how coaches impact fairness in areas like college admissions, credit cards, and youth sports. 

4. Bugsy Malone (1976)

A gangster musical starring only children? It’s a little like someone just picked ideas out of a hat, but somehow it works. You can hear why in the Bugsy Malone episode Kyla and I released this month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, plus how this weird artifact of a film connects with Gilmore Girls.

5. The Queen (2006)

Before The Crown, Peter Morgan wrote The Queen, focusing on Queen Elizabeth II (Helen Mirren) in the days following the death of Princess Diana. It’s a complex and compassionate drama, both for the Queen and for Prime Minister Tony Blair (Michael Sheen, who has snuck up on me to become a favorite character actor). Maybe I’ve got a problem, but I’ll never tire of the analysis of this famous family. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

6. The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972)

This month at ZekeFilm, we took a closer look at Revisionist Westerns we’ve missed. I fell hard for Roy Bean, and I think you will, too, if for no other reason than you might like a story starring Jacqueline Bisset, Ava Gardner, John Huston, Paul Newman, and Anthony Perkins. Oh, and a bear! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

7. New Trailer Round Up

Naked Singularity (Aug. 6) – John Boyega in a crime thriller!

Queenpins (Aug. 10) – A crime comedy about extreme coupon-ing!

Dune (Oct. 1) – I’ve been cooler on the anticipation for this film, but this new look has me cautiously intrigued thanks to the Bardem + Bautista + Brolin + Chalamet + Ferguson + Isaac + Momoa + Zendaya of it all.

The Last Duel (Oct. 15) – Affleck! Damon! Driver!

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (Nov. 11) - I’m not sure why we need this, but I’m down for the Paul Rudd + Finn Wolfhard combo

King Richard (Nov. 19) - Will Smith as Venus and Serena’s father!

Encanto (Nov. 24) – Disney and Lin-Manuel Miranda making more magic together!

House of Gucci (Nov. 24) - Gaga! Pacino! Driver! 

Also in July…

Kyla and I took a look at the classic supernatural soap Dark Shadows and why Sookie might be obsessed with it on Gilmore Girls.

I revisited a so-bad-it’s-good masterpiece that’s a surrealist dream even Fellini couldn’t have cooked up. Yes, for ZekeFilm I wrote about the Vanilla Ice movie, Cool as Ice, which is now a part of my Blu-ray collection.

Photo credits: Against the Rules. All others IMDb.com.

[obxparadise]

Last Friday Night

JJ Maybank x Reader 

Word count: 5,548

~A fic in which JJ helps you recount the memories of your wild Friday night~

Warning: Mentions of alcohol, weed, and implied sex.

A/N: This is my longest fic yet!! It’s a combination of a story and flashbacks. Flashbacks are in italics! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Leave a comment and reblog if you liked it :) I also recommend listening to Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” while reading :)

*Picture was found on Google. Credit to the owner.*

~~~

There’s a stranger in my bed

There’s a pounding in my head

Glitter all over the room

Pink flamingos in the pool

I smell like a mini bar

DJ’s passed out in the yard

Barbie’s on the barbeque

This a hickey or a bruise?

Sunlight shines through the window curtains, brightening up what was once a dim room. Tired eyes squint against the light as you attempt to roll on your back, groaning as an unimaginable wave of discomfort shoots across your skull. Hands find their way to your head, kneading your temples to try and ease the pain of a growing headache. The heavy weight of your hangover keeps you from moving, although you desperately need a water and aspirin. Maybe something greasy too.

As your eyes flutter open slowly, they readjust to the light in the room. Heavy breaths leave your mouth, tongue darting out to wet your awfully dry lips. The rancid taste of liquor is still on your breath, and you decide the first thing you need before medicine is a toothbrush.

Movement beside you urges you to freeze in bed, heart beating quickly. Turning slowly to the side, your eyes meet with a pair of tired, baby blue eyes and a mop of messy blonde hair, sticking up in every which way. The image of the boy doesn’t register quickly enough in your head as you shriek, heaving him off the side of the bed, cringing when he lands on the hardwood floor with a thud. Whoops.

“Ow! What the hell was that for?”

Crawling to the other side, your heart stops when you realize who had been your bed mate. “JJ? What the fuck?”

Out of all the boys who could have been lying beside you, JJ Maybank was the very last one on the list of people you would have expected. Luckily for you, JJ was no stranger. Sure, he was more of your sister Sarah’s friend, as Sarah’s boyfriend John B was JJ’s best friend, so you didn’t mind him, but over the last week or so, you’d grown closer to the group, JJ especially. He was chill, funny, unpredictable. Extremely handsome, too.

“What the fuck me?” He asks incredulously, rubbing his now sore elbow. A tiny laugh escapes as you watch his brows furrow in confusion. “What the fuck you! Why did you push me?”

“JJ, what the hell were you doing in my bed?”

He stretches, bare, tanned abdomen exposed for your viewing pleasure. Well, you definitely could’ve been stuck with someone a lot worse. No complaints, though.

“Well, I was sleeping peacefully,” he grumbles, grabbing onto the end of the bed to pull himself up. Pink sparkles litter his body, and you watch in amusement as he vigorously attempts to brush them off. Eyes scanning the room, they land on a confetti cannon. And if you had to guess, Sarah replaced the confetti with glitter. Great.  “Oh, and by the way, you steal all the blankets in your sleep. I was freezing my balls off trying to wrestle them from you last night.”

Running a hand through your hair, which is somewhat damp and undoubtedly tangled thanks to alcohol, you try to connect the dots as JJ glances at you, lips curved, delight on his face. “What happened last night?”

How much did you have to drink that you couldn’t remember a single detail? To be completely hungover and forgetful the next morning is extremely unlike you, and if you were being honest with yourself, you were truly embarrassed.

“Only the best fucking night ever,” JJ grins, happily slapping your leg, giving it a squeeze. “I’ll tell ya, you and Sarah sure know how to throw a party. Best Friday night I’ve had in weeks.”

And that’s when it hits you. Your parents are out of town, your brother Rafe is away at a three-day golf tournament, and little sister Wheezie had spent the night with a friend.

Jumping out of bed, you run to the window and peel back the curtains. Your mouth drops in horror as you absorb the sight of your nearly destroyed backyard. Flamingo pool floats are crowding the pool, some full of air, and well, some had seen better days. Pong tables and plastic lawn chairs are flipped and broken. Red solo cups litter the patio, many still filled, others crushed and empty. Rubbing your temples, you cannot imagine how it could get any worse, but a dark figure between the bushes has you pressing your face against the screen, squinting to get a clearer look. For the love of God, the DJ is passed out in the grass. Is he dead? Shit.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

JJ appears beside you, looking over your shoulder. His eyes widen as he takes in the catastrophe that is your backyard. “Whew,” he whistles. “What a night.”

You elbow his ribs before stepping back, sucking in a breath as you realize how much cleaning you’ll have to do. Peeling off your clothes, you quickly change into a fresh pair of sweats and a cropped half tee shirt, making sure to throw on a few layers of deodorant after JJ’s teasing comment.

You catch him staring as you fix yourself in the mirror, smirking at a spot on your abdomen. Glancing back to the mirror, your mouth drops as your fingers brush over a deep red mark. “What is this? Where did this bruise come from?”  

You jump at JJ’s cool touch against your warm skin, and he smirks before pulling back. “That’s a hickey, Y/N.”

“A what?” Open palms slap against your forehead in disbelief. “From who?!”

The only thing JJ offers is narrowed eyes and a slight close-lipped smile.

“It was you!” The realization hits you like a freight train. “Oh my god. We fucking slept together didn’t we?”

JJ’s body shakes with laughter as you frantically search your body for more marks, exasperated sighs leaving your lips as you find a few more dotting your neck. Thank God you had just bought a new concealer because you were going to need it. “We spent the entire night together, Y/N. Do you really not remember anything?” He’s pouting, and his voice comes out almost…offended.

“Okay, you know what?” Throwing your hands in the air, you turn back to JJ, whose hands are clasped together in front of him. “I need to remember what happened last night. No more surprises.”

JJ cocks his head to the side. He considers you for a moment before hopping back into bed, patting the place next to him. Hesitantly, you join him in bed, unsure if you’re ready to recount one of the craziest nights of your life. “Where do you want to start?”

Pictures of last night

Ended up online

I’m screwed

Oh well

“Kiara Carrera!”

Squeezing your way through the various partygoers, a relieved sigh leaves your chest as you spot the feisty brunette sitting by the pool, legs dangling in the water as she listens to Pope ramble on about the season finale of The Walking Dead while simultaneously spinning in a pool float.

“What’s up?” Kie says, grinning as you bend down to hug her around the neck.

“Any chance I could borrow your Polaroid?” Right away, you see the hesitation in her brown eyes. She’s not stupid. Giving a drunk girl a camera probably wouldn’t be the best idea, but you’ve been known to be quite persuasive. “Aw, please Kie? I’ll take really good care of it, I promise.”

Sarah may have had problems with Kiara in the past, but there was never any bad blood between the two of you. Frankly, you’d been pissed when Sarah pushed Kie away. Her insecurities ruined a great friendship. Kiara had always been a good friend to your sister. It was nice to see them finally getting along again, now that Sarah and John B were officially together. I guess they really didn’t have a choice, but you knew them. Time would pass, and they would be thick as thieves again.

Kiara reaches into her bag and pulls out a light blue Polaroid camera, holding it out for you. Squealing, you eagerly take the camera, excited to document a night of memories. “Be careful with that thing. It’s brand new.”

Kiara rolls her eyes as you cradle the camera to your chest, rocking it like a child. The alcohol is finally settling in your system, so you squeeze the camera tight to your chest, saluting her before holding the camera to your eyes. “Pope, come in closer.”

He rests his arms on Kiara’s thighs, and they both flash a smile your way. Collecting the picture, you wait for it to appear on the printed film, smiling at the two happy faces. Hm. They’d make a pretty cute couple.

“Alright, I’ll be back!”

Kie and Pope send you off with a final wave as you begin snapping photos of people dancing, people drinking, people swimming. Sometimes memories fade, but with pictures, you could relive them, bring yourself back to that very moment.

Teenager years are the most important. It’s a time filled with adventure, embarrassment, growth, love, friendships. After high school, everyone goes their separate ways. It’s a part of life. Not everyone stays together. But the pictures would remind you of simpler times. Times when you were happy and carefree without a worry in the world. Times where you were surrounded by old friends. Times that would only be relived through photos.

~

The pictures are spread in front of you on the kitchen counter. Chin resting in your palm, you smile down at the photos, fingers delicately tracing the outline of the film as your body drunkenly sways to whatever song the DJ is playing in the yard. In one picture, Kiara is throwing up the peace sign while Sarah leans her elbow on Kie’s shoulder. Another shows Pope and John B, both curled in a cannon ball as they launch themselves into the pool. JJ and John B throw up the middle fingers in a third picture, and Sarah and Pope laugh at a drenched Kiara, who had alcohol spilled on her moments prior.

“Well these are pretty cool,” a voice slurs beside you. A ringed hand reaches out to touch the pictures, and you recognize the rough, bruised knuckles right away. “But there’s something missing.”

Hand on your waist, you stare up at JJ, brows raised. He leans his hip against the counter, hazy eyes trained on you as he lifts a beer to his lips, tongue slightly darting out to collect the excess. You don’t even want to know how much he’s already had to drink. “And what’s that?”

“You’re not in any of them,” He notes, motioning to the pictures. You follow his fingers as they point to each photo, and sure enough, you’re nowhere in sight.

“Huh. I guess I was so busy taking pictures of everyone else I forgot to include myself. Well then,” Grabbing the Polaroid from the counter, you hold it out in front of you. JJ watches you curiously until you nod your head toward the camera. “What are you waiting for? Get in the picture.”

He leans in close to you, his cheek centimeters from yours, hand resting gently on your hip. You smile brightly while JJ opts for a half smirk, his trademark.

“Do something silly,” You tell him, plucking the first photo from the camera. “Make me laugh.”

You joke with JJ the most out of all of Sarah’s friends. JJ’s sense of humor is unmatched, even when he’s not trying. He thinks for a moment, only briefly, before you feel his tongue flat against your cheek. It startles you but you laugh, a real, genuine laugh, just as your finger presses the shutter button.

The picture is perfect as you lie it alongside the others, gazing down at what would soon become mere memories. Head tilting to the side, you examine the photos as does JJ, and he speaks up, “We should date them.”

It’s as if he read your mind. Rummaging through the cabinets in your kitchen, you locate a black sharpie, pulling the cap off with your mouth before scribbling the date in the bottom left corner of each photo.

You smile triumphantly until JJ plucks the marker from your fingers, scrawling more words on the pictures of you and him. Grabbing the photo of JJ licking your cheek, which oddly enough was super attractive, you roll your eyes as you read the hashtag. “TGIF? Really, JJ? How old are you?”

“Thank god it’s Friday,” his smile is lazy and all you can do is shake your head and return the grin. “Come on,” JJ offers you his hand and you take it as he leads you through a swarm of people before you eventually find yourselves back in your yard. “Let’s get someone to take a group picture.”

You nod in agreement, clutching the camera to your chest, scanning the yard for the remainder of your friends. You spot them on the other side of the pool, Sarah and Kiara cheering loudly for John B and Pope, who are engaged in an intense game of one-on-one flip cup.

“Hold up, J, let me get a picture of this.” Glancing through the viewfinder, you shake your head as you find yourself to be too far away. Keeping the camera to your eye, you pace forward a few steps, oblivious to the circular pool float just inches from your feet.

“Y/N, watch out!” But Kie’s voice falls on deaf ears as you trip over the float, toppling into the water with her pristine Polaroid.

Resurfacing with a deep gasp, you rub the water from your eyes, blushing a deep red as laughter bubbles around you, but the only one with a sour expression on her face who is indeed not laughing, is Kiara.

Chuckling nervously, you hold up the drenched camera before shrugging. “Oops?”

~

“Oops?” You stare at JJ in astonishment, almost as if you don’t believe a word he’s saying. “I said oops?!”

You groan as JJ nods, burying your face in your palms. Kiara’s brand new, one-hundred-dollar camera and you just had to fall into the pool.

“God, how mad was she?”

JJ shrugs. “Eh, she was pissed for about ten minutes. But hey, she got her payback, though.” He wiggles his brows and you shrink back into the bed. “Do I even want to know how?”

“You didn’t see the Instagram pictures? Kie took them on her phone since you know, you killed her camera.” Heart hammering in your chest, you snatch JJ’s phone from his hand, mouth falling open as you scroll through and find Kiara’s Instagram, her latest post an assortment of pictures from the night before.

“Oh. My. God.”

Each picture of yourself made you squirm more than the previous as you scroll through, cringing in embarrassment. There were pictures of you with your tongue out, looking drunk and ridiculous. Pictures of you and JJ dancing on tables, flailing your arms dramatically, also made the post. Pictures of you puking in the grass and slumped over the toilet made the cut as well. And when you read the caption of the pictures, the bile rose to your throat.

“Thanks for ruining my Polaroid. #Revenge.”

Scrolling through the comments wasn’t the brightest idea either, as your eyes nearly rolled out of their sockets at the first two comments.

@rafecam19: So, this is what my sister does when no one’s home.

@wheeziebee: Wait, Sarah and Y/N had a party without me? Well, I know where these pictures are going. #momanddadsnewfavoritechild

“I am so screwed,” Your head hangs in shame, already picturing in your brain the tongue lashing from your parents when they find out. Grabbing JJ’s phone once more, you scroll to the picture of you two on top of the dining room table. Your back is pressed against his chest while his crotch is dangerously close to your ass, palm gripping your hip.  Cheeks heating, you turn the phone around, holding it out for JJ to see. “Okay, what the hell are we doing here?”

Last Friday Night

Yeah we danced on tabletops

And we took too many shots

Think we kissed but I forgot

“Y/N, you’re going to fall! Get down!” Sarah yells over the music, a beer in one hand while her other hand is firmly planted on her hip. Sarah, Pope, and JJ watch from below as you expertly climb onto the dining room table, careful not to spill the two shots in your hand.

Flashing your paranoid sister a smile, your body begins to sway to the music. Cheers are aimed your way, egging you on even more. “Oh, lighten up, Sar. Come up here and join me.”

“You’re insane,” Pope says, flashing Sarah a nervous look. “And very drunk, might I add.”

“Not drunk enough,” You answer, throwing back one of the shots. As soon as the liquid hits your tongue, you’re filled with a rush of energy.

“JJ, do something,” Sarah urges, shaking his shoulder to pull his attention from your body. You’d changed out of your wet clothes after the pool incident, and your body was now clad in tight jean shorts and a black off the shoulder shirt. The more he stared, the more he didn’t want to tear his eyes away. “Talk some sense into her.”

He watches you with a playful smirk before peering back at your sister. “I have a better idea.” Much to Sarah’s dismay, JJ gathers three more shots in his hands before heaving himself up onto the table, placing one of the shots in your hand. “For you, beautiful.” JJ winks and you gladly accept the shot, toning out your sister’s pleas. The shot glasses clink together before you and JJ down the liquid. JJ finishes the last two before chucking them to Pope, who has difficulty catching them, as he’s not the most coordinated of the bunch. Too much time on the math team does that to a man.

The music changes from rap to throwbacks, and the crowd of teenagers flooding your house erupt into loud cheers as they recognize some of the songs from their childhood. “Last Friday Night” blasts through the DJ’s speakers, and even Sarah, originally annoyed with your shenanigans, eases up and pulls Kiara and Pope away to dance.

You’re left alone with JJ who is trying his damn hardest to dance smoothly and not make a fool of himself. You laugh heartily at his amateur dance moves before moving closer to him, gripping his wrists to steady yourself. You turn yourself in his arms, jumping slightly as his hands grip your hips, lightly squeezing.  He’s gentle with you now as your bodies tangle together, his lips calmly brushing your neck, and it’s a different side of him. While most of the time he’s calm, you haven’t been around JJ enough to see him let loose. The alcohol definitely helps.

His lips brush against your ear, sending a slight quiver through your body. “Is this okay?”

The feel of his front side against your backside, his hands on your body, rubbing, squeezing, and his lips dusting against your neck, jaw, ears, it’s exquisite. Blood rushes throughout your body, down your legs, up your arms, through your cheeks, in your head, and the sound of it pumping blocks out the surrounding noise. You’re the only two people in the room. At least, it feels that way.

Before your brain has time to process your body’s actions, you face JJ in his arms, hands on either side of his neck. His lips are parted slightly, breathing even, and his eyes are calculated, focused, scanning your face.

“You’re not seeing anyone, right?”

The air around you is thick, almost restricting your breaths, but JJ remains collected, eyes steady on your face. One hand situates on your hip while the other rests easily on your back. “Fuck no,” he breathes. “I only see you, baby.”

“Thank God.”

You lean in the same time JJ pushes forward, lips finally connecting in a soft but urgent kiss. Does time stop? It feels like it. And there’s no way this is your imagination, either. Weak knees, fluttering heartbeat, small gasps for air, rosy cheeks. All products of a real, sensual kiss.

JJ controls the kiss. He captivates you, and you go along with the feel of his lips, letting him guide you. The light strokes of his fingers on your back are a reassurance. Reassurance that the kiss is genuine. Reassurance that you’re safe with him. Reassurance that he wants this just as much as you do.

The adrenaline pulses within your veins.

His tongue brushes against yours.

Your head spins.

It feels like you’re floating.

You want it to last forever.

A low whistle breaks the kiss and you’re reluctant to pull away. “Shit, bro,” The voice belongs to John B who stands below you, staring with upstretched eyebrows. You’re still perched in JJ’s arms, steadying your breathing, coming down from the high. “Didn’t expect that.”

“Get out of here, man,” JJ bends down, hand slapping the backside of JB’s head. John B flinches, careful not to spill the two solo cups in his hands, before sending a wink your way. “Get a room.”

~

You blink rapidly, almost as if you can’t believe the story JJ is telling you. He watches your puzzled expression, waving his hand in front of your face. “Earth to Y/N. You okay?”

“I’m…yeah,” you breathe out quickly, fidgeting with your fingers. Your eyes scan JJ’s face, eventually falling on his mouth, and your own lips tingle. You can almost feel his lips on yours.

“So that’s how we ended up having sex,” You finally begin to connect the pieces of the puzzle, blushing deeply when JJ howls with laughter. “No, not exactly. Well, I mean, we did fuck, but not until later. Twice, might I add.”

“Twice?!” It comes out as a screech. Dragging a hand through your hair, your eyes dart to the floor, unable to look JJ in the eye. “When was the first time?”

Last Friday Night

We went streaking in the park

Skinny dipping in the dark

“Aw, not this fucking game,” JJ whines, pulling up a chair beside Pope, blunt hanging from the corner of his mouth. The party has settled down a bit, but many drunk teens are still going, laughing, dancing, and chatting up a storm. Off to the side in the lawn, your friends are gathered in chairs, each with a unique smile on their faces. After three hours, they’re all either drunk, high, or both.

You grab a chair for yourself, but JJ’s voice catches you off guard, halting your movements. “Uh uh, princess,” When he rubs his thighs, John B hollers with laughter. “You can sit right here.”

His tone is raspy, almost as if he’s challenging you, waiting to see how you react. The electricity between you is crackling strong, and it pulls you toward him until you’re comfortably settled in his lap.

Kiara clears her throat. “Okay so I don’t know what that is,” her finger points in your direction and your body tenses up from the feeling of numerous sets of eyes on you and JJ, “But don’t let it distract you from the fact that Pope still hasn’t told us when his first kiss was.”

You silently thank Kie for bringing the attention back to the game. Pope whines childishly, taking another sip of beer for courage. “Fine, fine, if I must.” He glances around the circle sheepishly, sighing, “My first kiss was the end of sophomore year.”

“No way.”

“Shut up!

“That late?”

“Pfft. Prude.”

“Alright, alright, relax,” Pope’s hands fly up in defense. “John B, truth or dare.”

“Easy. Dare.”

Pope thinks hard for a moment, and then the lightbulb goes off. “I dare you to go streaking around the yard.”

You stifle your laugh as John B’s face scrunches together. “Aw, come on man! Have some respect, my girlfriend’s here. I don’t want anyone else seeing my balls.”

“Hold ‘em,” JJ pipes up. “They’re small anyway, wouldn’t be covering much.”

John B flips off JJ before quietly cursing Pope to hell. Placing his beer on the ground, JB sheds his clothes, cheeks reddening as he shields himself from wandering eyes.

Your yard is big, spacious, and it takes JB a full two minutes to run around the backyard, weaving in and out of trees and bushes. Some are recording, like JJ and Kiara, while others like you, Pope and Sarah, try (and fail) to contain your laughter.

John B’s cheeks are flushed red as he stumbles back over to your group, and you desperately try to hide your laughter as JJ replays the video.

“Think that was funny, Y/N?” John B asks, pulling his clothes back on. He settles back into his chair and takes a long swig of beer. “No worries. I have one for you. Truth or dare?”

Normally you’d opt for truth, but tonight is different. You’re feeling bold. “Dare.”

He doesn’t even need to think. “You still have that hot tub on the deck, right?”

You nod, curious as to where he’s going with this.

“I dare you to go skinny dipping in the hot tub.”

“That’s it?” You ask, shocked your dare wasn’t anything raunchy. “I mean, that’s a pretty easy dar-“

“With JJ.”

You freeze.

And suddenly, you feel sober, although your BAC levels suggest otherwise.

“Damn you got her good,” Sarah mutters, supplying her boyfriend with a high five. “She won’t do it, though.”

“Oh, no shot,” Kie agrees with a nod.

JJ shifts underneath you, hand brushing your hair from your ears as he leans in to whisper, “What do you say, baby girl?”

That fuels you. Determined, you stand in front of the group, fingers going to the hem of your top, pulling it over your head, and tossing it to the ground.

Left in only your bra and the tiny shorts that barely cover your ass, you direct your eyes to JJ, smirking at the shit eating grin plastered on his face. “You coming?”

~

You danced with him. No problem.

You drank with him. No problem.

You kissed him. No problem.

Getting naked with him? Problem.

The lights on the deck are dim, hiding the bright color on your cheeks. The jets in the hot tub whirl beside you, taunting you, screaming at you to complete the dare.

Opposite you on the other side of the hot tub, JJ stands coolly, eyes drooping, lazy smile, taking long drags of his blunt. You watch as his lips form an ‘o’, blowing the smoke into the air. He’s calm, and you want that same tranquility.

He smirks as you pluck the blunt from his fingers, taking a long drag yourself. You feel dizzy, lightheaded, and cough out a puff of smoke.

“Easy, princess,” He cocks a brow, studying you. “Nervous?”

It’s amazing how quickly alcohol fucks with your emotions. One minute, you’re having the time of your life, dancing and kissing a boy way out of your league. And then a minute later, you can barely look at him. “Little bit.”

JJ takes another pull. “Tell you what. You turn around and I’ll change first. Then when I’m in the tub, I’ll turn around so you can change.”

You agree and turn your back to him, providing him with privacy although your head is screaming at you to sneak a peek. A splash in the tub has you turning around, swallowing as JJ rests his arms on the outside, blunt hanging from his smile. He’s effortlessly sexy, and you’ll make sure to thank JB later for the dare.

He winks before turning around slightly, awarding you with the same privacy you supplied him. Your shorts go first, then your thong, followed by your bra. Breathing deeply, you cross your arms over your breasts, thankful that JJ couldn’t see.

But unbeknownst to you, JJ had turned back around. “Sweet ass.”

Yelping, you struggle to cover yourself as JJ chuckles, holding up his arms to block the water as you tumble your way into the hot tub, letting the water shield your body. “Shit, JJ. You weren’t supposed to turn around!”

“And you thought I’d listen, why?”

Rolling your eyes, you settle deeper into the steaming water, moaning slightly as the jets massage your back. Across from you, JJ observes you with a smile. “You don’t need to be shy around me, you know. We’re friends, after all.”

“I’m not shy.”

JJ snickers. “Please. You don’t think I notice how your body tenses up whenever I’m close to you? You think I don’t see when your cheeks get that little pink color when I look at you?” His head hangs, tilted to the side, blunt held between his thumb and forefinger., lowering his voice. “You think I don’t know how much you wanted to kiss me tonight?”  

There’s no way he can read you that easily, so you play it off. “Alcohol changes a person.”

His grin irritates you. He doesn’t believe you. Why doesn’t he believe you?

Drawing in a breath, you decide to go for it. You swim over to him, watching as his eyes widen, now alert, and climb into his lap, palms flat against his tanned chest. One hand goes to your hip, holding you in place. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not shy,” you repeat, brushing your lips over his. JJ’s chest rises and falls with harsh breaths, and for a second, you believe you misread the signals. He takes a quick pull of the blunt and you cover his mouth with your own, dragging the smoke back into your mouth, titling your head back, releasing it into the air.

“Fuck, that was hot.”

The blunt, now finished, falls from JJ’s fingers as his hand slides around to the back of your neck, pulling you in, kissing you hard. Your mouths mesh together, igniting a fire in your bones. Fingertips dig into his flesh, marking him. JJ’s hand on your waist pushes you further against him, impossibly close to his skin.

The sound of your heart is loud in your ears as you try to focus on moving your lips in sync. JJ’s hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, the curve of your ass. His fingers dance over your neck, your throat, and down the center of your breasts.  

The tip of his dick rubs against the inside of your thigh, causing your mouth to open slightly. JJ takes advantage of the opportunity, slipping his tongue in your mouth, exploring, claiming.

You find yourself not wanting to stop. All of the nerves leave your body with each kiss JJ presses to your swollen lips. He’s hungry for more and so are you, but for something different.

He freezes when your hand disappears beneath the water, gripping his length in your palm. His wrist flies to your hand, stopping you, as his other hand runs through his hair, considering. “Listen, princess, as much as I really want to do this, I don’t think--.”

A finger to his mouth cuts him off, a sly smile playing on your lips as you shake his hand from yours. You reposition yourself over him, breasts peeking out from the water, as you slowly sink yourself down onto him.

With every groan that leaves his lips, and with each new swirl of your hips, you feel waves of confidence wash over your body. You’re drunk, he’s high, and you both feel alive.

This Friday night

Do it all again

The ceiling in your room distracts you from JJ’s face, which, if you know anything about him, has a wide grin on it. Heat bubbles in your chest as you replay the story in your head, ignoring JJ’s teasing comments about the color rising in your cheeks.

Sitting up abruptly, you turn to face him. He’s leaned back on your pillows, arms behind his head. “After that, we fucked right here,” JJ pats the bed proudly. “And that, baby girl, was your Friday night.”

Well, it could have gone much worse.  

“Sounds like I embarrassed the ever-loving fuck out of myself.”

JJ laughs, holding out his arms. You send him a look before complying, hooking your leg over his waist, resting your head against his bare chest. His one arm lazily wraps around you, the free hand skimming over the skin on your thigh.

“I am never having another party ever again.”

JJ cringes. “Yeah, about that…you might want to check your phone.”

You snatch it from the night stand, crossing an arm over your chest as you read messages from a very large group chat. “JJ…why’s everyone talking about a party?”

But he doesn’t get the chance to answer as you scroll to the very top, phone falling between your legs as you read the message you drunkenly sent before you passed out at three in the morning.

Party at our house this Friday night! Let’s do it again, bitches.

You stare at JJ, palms flat against your head as he falls off the bed in laughter.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

[obxhoe]

I was wondering if you could maybe do a JJ x kook reader, where the reader is kinda stuck being with rafe because of family ties and this is the time JJ takes the blame for what pope did to toppers boat, and the reader pays it off anonymously because they have a crush on him?

a/n: HI!!!! This is like a month late I’m so sorry y’all but I have more stuff in the works now that I have more free time. I spun it a little like John B and Sarah have been together for a lil bit, so the timeline is a tad off from the show. It’s kinda all over the place so I’m sorry about that.

Word count: ~1.8k

Warnings: mention of drugs, some swearing, probably typos, nothing else really

Ever since Sarah started dating John B, you’ve been hanging out with the Pogues. Your skepticism, due to being a kook yourself, about hanging with the group quickly fizzled after just one day on the HMS Pogue. And almost everyday you’re with them, that is whenever you can get away from Rafe.

Ah. Rafe Cameron. King of the kooks. And your “boyfriend”, not necessarily by choice. You two had grown up together on Figure Eight and of course as soon as you two had entered the age where it was acceptable to date, both sets of parents threw you together. It was nice, at first. It was new, exciting and you got to spend time with one of your best friends. But as time went on, and as you matured, Rafe seemed to stay in his high school days. Drugs controlled his mood, he was never on time or forgot you had plans and had completely changed from who he used to be.

You tried to break things off but your parents begged you to give it one more chance, they just couldn’t lose their friendship with the Cameron family or tarnish their precious image. So you gave it one more chance, about ten or more times. Your relationship at this point consists of hooking up with no strings attached, going to family dinners and putting on an act.

Your time is mainly spent with the Pogues. Rafe absolutely hated it at first, but he realized he couldn’t stop you and his sister, so he gave up eventually. Your summer days consist of surfing, relaxing on the boat or causing trouble around town. The trouble coming mostly from the shaggy blonde, with the ocean blue eyes that you were absolutely, undeniably, in love with. Rafe gets with his fair share of girls now. It never really bothered you at all since you both had come to a mutual agreement that this so-called relationship was purely physical and just an act to satisfy your parents. So now you spend your days and nights sneaking around with JJ Maybank, only the pogues and Sarah knowing what’s really going on. Rafe knows you’re fucking other people, but he doesn’t know who. If he did, he would lose his shit.

You wake up to your phone ringing next to your bed. Rubbing your eyes, you see the caller ID state that it was Rafe. You sigh rolling your eyes, you just talked to him before you decided to nap due to the exhaustion engulfing you after working a 7 hour shift this morning.

“Is this a booty call?” You ask, flopping back on your bed.

“Y/N! Someone sunk Topper’s boat!” He yells. You sit up immediately, stomach sinking, having an idea of who could have done this.

“Wait what?” You stand up and start pacing around.

“The plug wasn’t put back in. Topper claims he remembered to put it back in, but he was also drinking the last time he was driving it. Probably those fucking pogues though.” He raises his voice. “I don’t understand why you and Sarah hang around them, they’re trash y/n.”

“Rafe…” You state, already getting annoyed. “I love gossip just as much as the next girl, but I was hoping this was either more important information or a booty call. And seeing that it’s not, I am going to go back to bed.”

“Whatever. Come over tonight then?” He asks.

“Yeah yeah, see you then” You huff and lay back down trying to sleep, but your mind won’t stop thinking about the incident. Part of you knew JJ could have done this, and another part of you denied that. You give up on trying to sleep, throw on a bathing suit and one of JJ’s giant tees and head over to the chateau. 

You hop out of the car and walk around to the backyard of the chateau. 

“Now if any kooks come up to you and ask if you had anything to do with it, you walk up to ‘em, look ‘em right in the eye” You hear JJ stop and Pope mumble something. “And deny. Deny. Deny.” he finishes. You stop in your tracks, your suspicions now proving to be true. Your phone goes off and you mentally curse yourself for not putting your phone on do not disturb.

“Y/n?” JJ runs over to you, his face lighting up.

“What were you guys just talking about?” You ask nervously.

“Um uh well. I-” Pope starts but JJ cuts him off.

“Just talking about trying to find the gold. In case any kooks find out, we can’t have them fucking it up for us, ya know?” JJ says. You nod, not believing a single word but too scared to push for any further answers. 

“Well I gotta go back to work, I told my dad I would only be gone an hour or two.” Pope says, heading to the driveway. “Dinner tonight?”

“Yeah. Wait no fuck. I forgot I have a stupid family dinner thing I promised my parents I would go to.” You say, remembering you told Rafe you’d go over tonight. “Can we just come and hang out with you at work?”

“Yeah sure, I don’t care. Kie said she would help out today so she’ll probably be there by the time we get there” He says, and the two of you follow him.

You get to Heyward’s and not even 15 minutes after you arrive, chaos ensues. 

“Hey Pope, someone here to see you” Heyward says, eyeing the boy almost as a warning.

“Evening officer.” He says, swallowing as his hands start to shake.

“I have an arrest warrant for felony destruction of property.” Shoupe orders, as the other officers step forward and grab him. You start screaming, following Heyward outside, JJ hot on your heels. Kie starts to sob, and everyone else starts to shout, confusion in the air around you. Pope looks as if he can’t breathe. His eyes looking lost. All of a sudden the screaming stops, and you hear one voice call out.

“It wasn’t him! it was me. He tried to talk me out of it. but I was mad because he’d just been beaten up. I was so sick of those assholes from figure eight that I lost my shit.”  JJ turns to Pope. “I can’t let you take the blame for something that I did. You’ve got too much to lose.”

“JJ what are you doing?!” Pope hisses.

“I'm telling the truth. For once in my goddamn life, I’m gonna tell the truth. I took his old man’s boat too.” 

“What the hell?” Heyward says from behind you.

“JJ come on” Pope pleads. 

“Shut up Pope, shut up. He’s a good kid. “This was all me.” That was the last thing they said before they took him away. You didn’t notice you had started crying until you felt your tears roll down your neck. You feel a hand on your shoulder and see Heyward giving you the most sympathetic look. As much as he acts like JJ annoys the fuck out of him, you know that he loves JJ.

You, Pope and Kie stay outside as everyone else retreats to where they were before. You sink to the ground, hands covering your face.

“What do we do?’ You groan, wiping away the rest of your tears from your cheeks.

“I’m not sure we can do anything” Kie says.

“Well,” Pope starts “I mean in a perfect world we could pay off whatever his restitution would be. But Topper’s boat is expensive, like only the Kook-iest of Kooks can affor-”

“Pope, we know okay. That doesn’t help” Kie interrupts. You shoot up, an idea coming to your head. Deciding to keep it to yourself knowing that the two of them would immediately shut it down and call you crazy, you make an excuse to leave so you can execute your plan.

“I have to go guys. Get all socially acceptable and that shit for dinner with my family.” You start walking in the direction of your car. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” You call out. You get into the car, open the glove compartment and grab the checkbook. Luckily, you share your bank account with your very, very elderly grandparents, who are loaded. And never check the account ever. So no one will notice anything missing. Your parents won’t be able to see anything, no one will ever know, and you’ll be able to do it anonymously. You drive to the station and climb out the car, your hands sweaty and stomach nervous.

“I’m here for JJ. Uh Maybank.” You tell the lady at the front.

“Let me grab Shoupe” She gives you a judgemental look as she walks back.

“Y/n, didn’t expect to see you here. Everything okay? Parents good?” Shoupe says as he sips on some coffee.

“Yeah yeah everythings fine. Um I’m here for JJ” You say, fidgeting with your hands.

“Maybank?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I’m here to pay his restitution.”

“That’s $25,000 Y/n…” He puts his coffee down.

“Alright.” You grab a pen from the desk and start to write in the checkbook.

“Woah woah woah. Slow down. What will your parents think when they see 25k missing?”

“They won’t know. It’s not their account.” You finish filling out the check. “I would like to keep this anonymous please.” You hand it to him and walk out the door. You drive to the local market and sit in the parking lot, air conditioning cranked high and your favorite band blasting through the speakers and wait for him to call or text you.

------

“Maybank” Shoupe says, unlocking the cell that he was sitting in. “Your restitution has been paid, you’re free to go.”

“By who?” He shoots up, eyes wide.

“Don’t know. Don’t care. Get out of here.” Shoupe commands.

------

Your ringtone interrupts the music and you groan as you reach for the phone hoping it’s from the only person you want to talk to right now. *JJ* flashes on the screen, with a photo of him shotgunning a beer. 

“JJ?” You try to sound confused to avoid any suspicion. 

“Y/n! I’m out! Someone paid my restitution. Shoupe wouldn’t tell me who but at this point I don’t care. Can you come get me please? Oh! And bring burgers and fries, jail makes you hungry.”

“JJ you were there for 2 hours, tops.” You laugh.

“Yeah and I’m starving. I’ll be waiting outside the station.” You hang up, pick up some food and head over to the station.

The moment he sees you his eyes light up.

“Hey beautiful.” He hops in the car and grabs your face, kissing you passionately. “I love you. You know that? I fucking love you.” You smile as the words leave his lips.

“I love you too J. Now eat up.” You throw him the bag of food and drive off to the Chateau, texting Rafe that something had come up. You’ll come up with an explanation as to how you got out of your “family dinner” for Pope and Kie. Tonight, you’re putting JJ first.

[lifesabe-ch]

josslyn - jj m. (pt. 2)

summary: based off the song josslyn by Olivia O’Brien. You and JJ have a friends with benefits relationship, but when he slips up, you realize you’ve changed your mind

pairings: jj maybank x reader

warnings: mentions of cheating

a/n: pt. 2!! here it is guys!! the beginning is inspired by a cheating quote I found on here but I can't find it so if you know what I'm talking about, pls lmk so I can give credit 

PART 1

You didn’t know what time it was. You had woken up what felt like hours ago, but you hadn’t moved. You watched the sunlight dance against your curtains, peaking through only where your blinds permitted it to and hitting the wall. You traced the makeup lines that were smudged onto your pillow, no doubt the rest occupying your face in a similar way.

You felt weak. Your mind hurt, so your body mirrored the feeling. It was like there was a hole in your chest, a vacancy where your heart used to be. You had given him everything... and he broke you. You were feeling it.

You only got up when you had to pee. Your steps were slow and measured, not exerting more energy than needed to. You found your mind wandering to the contents of your bathroom. One of his hats was still here, left haphazardly on your bathroom counter. You picked it up after you had finished, turning it gingerly over in your hands. Bringing your eyes up to meet your own in the mirror's reflection, you winced. You looked disgusting. The makeup you had spent so long applying perfectly yesterday was now everywhere. Your hair looked greasy. And your face... god. You could understand why he did it. Why he cheated on you. Throwing a towel at your reflection, you trudged back to bed, his hat still in hand. You didn’t want to sleep, but you didn’t want to go on with your life. Not today. The warmth of your covers was just so inviting, so sheltering from the truth. You didn’t even bother turning on the lights.

You only got up again around 4pm. You hadn’t eaten, you realized. You made it all the way to the kitchen, even opened the fridge, before you stopped. You were thinking of him again.

He had bought you those blueberries a few days ago. You only stare at the container, pondering over the deeper meaning you convinced yourself it had. Maybe he was warning you. Maybe the black and blues stood for bruises. Maybe he was trying to tell you that you’d be hurt by him. Not physically... but mentally. You change your mind, closing the fridge and heading back to your bed. You weren’t hungry anyway, you decided.

As you plop yourself down against the mattress, you grab your phone from the night stand. You ignore the missed calls and texts, scrolling past your notifications to instead open up your social media. Your fingers ghost the screen as you hover over his profile, staring at the photos he had shared. They’re soon finding their way through his comments and likes and you realize that you can’t help it. You felt like an idiot for not doing this before. For not realizing that you weren’t his only girl, that you never had been.

You push yourself up once again, this time with a goal in mind. You bustle around the room, laundry basket in hand as you throw various items of his that he’d left at your place into it. You don’t want them, you tell yourself. You’ll give them to his friends, or donate them if you have too. But they couldn’t stay here. After you had finished, you sat on the edge of your bed, looking around. You grabbed your phone and pulled up his page again, but this time, to block him. You made sure all of his accounts were unreachable, and that any pictures you may have had posted with him were archived.

You were done. As you tucked yourself in that night, you ignored the way the sinking feeling still hadn’t gone anyway. Maybe it was something else, your brain offered. But you knew. You knew better.

You hadn’t slept for long when your restlessness had woken you up again. Your sheets were kicked to the floor, but your legs were cold. Your whole body felt cold. You missed him.

You can’t help but pull the pillow he’d used one too many times to your chest, inhaling lightly. It didn’t smell like him, you’d washed your sheets, but you pretended it did. You pulled your phone out too then, unblocking his profiles and re-scrolling like before.

This cycle lasted for days. Each time you thought you were moving past it, each time you felt yourself forgetting, you missed him again. You blamed yourself. You even texted him a few apologies. He never responded. And soon, neither did you.

The roles reversed. As you started to get better, JJ started to get worse. He couldn’t sleep, wondering if you still missed him like he missed you. He wasn’t even that hungry anymore, avoiding most of the things you had stocked his kitchen with. He had even cancelled plans with his friends.

He was desperate.

While you gathered his things to give back, he gathered yours to reminisce.

He missed you. The way you’d come over when he had a nightmare about his dad and hold him until he fell asleep. The way your smile always made his heart flutter. The ways his arms fit perfectly around you, almost as if you were made for him.

He wanted you back. He needed you back. Each moment he spent alone reminded him of that. He didn’t want Josslyn. He didn’t want any of the other girls. All he wanted was you.

And he was a wreck.

THE two of you hadn’t seen each other in months, the last time having been that day. You had a rough go of it, but you were better.

You had built yourself back up, retaught yourself your worth, and reminded yourself that you didn’t need anyone else to be happy. And you didn’t.

You had spent your time apart from JJ having one of the best summers of your life. You were with your friends. The friends you’d nearly forgotten about, always too worried with keeping the blonde haired boy happy. You’d even gotten yourself another job, keeping a steady income while still managing to do what you loved. You weren’t completely healed, but you were getting there. Seeing JJ only confirmed that.

He had noticed your first, his eyes piercing as he watched you and your friends laugh from across the restaurant. You were glowing. You were happy.  

JJ was moping, taking up the offer on a double date with John B. that the boy insisted would lift his spirits. Truth be told, he hadn’t looked over at his date more than a handful of times, even less after he’d taken note of you.

It took longer for your eyes to drift over to his. A friend had pointed out your stalker to you, the group sharing a laugh, only your sharp intake of breath cutting the joke short. You knew he came here. You knew you had a chance of seeing him... you just didn’t expect it. You had stopped showing up places in hopes of bumping into him. This was purely coincidental. But you didn’t mind. As you saw him, you realized that you were okay. You even managed to flash him a polite smile before turning back towards your group.

You had felt like your world had crumbled around you. Like things would never get better. But they had. You hadn’t forgotten him, and your feelings hadn’t disappeared, but you acknowledged that it wasn’t meant to be. You were at peace with it.

From across the small diner, JJ’s mind was pulling him in the opposite direction. He had caught your smile, but he hadn’t taken it as a sign of forgiveness, but rather an invitation for a second chance.

You missed him too, he decided. He even told John B. so before getting up and making his way over to your table.

“Hi.”

It was silent. It wasn’t, not completely, but it may of well have been. Your friends hadn’t stopped their conversations, instead just continuing in much more exaggerated tones. They were listening to each other, but more so to you.

It was a simple greeting for a complicated conversation, but you figured it was as good a place as any to start.

“Hey.”

“Can we talk?”

Awkwardly glancing between JJ and your friends, you mutely nodded. You didn’t want to talk, but you wanted to hear him out. Not that you owed it to him, but rather to yourself. You needed to hear whatever he had to say to you.

He had led you outside and down to the pier near the back of the restaurant. There weren't many people around, save for the few employees coming in and out every so often.

As you leaned against the rail, you crossed your arms over your chest protectively. You allowed yourself to take him in. He looked like the same boy from before, but tired. The bags under his eyes weren’t subtle and his hair was a mess. You wanted to reach out and fix it, ask him what nightmares were keeping him awake now, but you couldn’t. It wasn’t your place anymore.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“I miss you,” he blurts, clearly not interested in any type of chitchat. “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I miss you, Y/N. Fuck, I miss you so much.”

You were silent as you watched him pull his fingers through his own hair, pacing slightly before you.

“I can’t stop thinking about you. I go to sleep, and you’re there. I wake up, and you’re there. I’m surfing, and you’re there. Except, you’re not. You’re never really there, Y/N, and I really want you to be.”

He stared down at his feet for a few seconds, glancing up only after you hadn’t responded, “Say something. Please. I... I can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

“But you were,” You words were quiet, surprising even yourself. “You were with someone other than me. That’s why we’re where we are now.”

“But that didn’t mean anything, Y/N. I know now, you’re the one that matters. I love you. I want to be you, only you.”

His words hit you with their full meaning almost instantly. If he had caught you a month or two ago, you’d have jumped into his arms. You would’ve been his and his alone and that would’ve been that. He had never said I love you to you, not in the way he had just used it. It had been strictly platonic, even as the two of you were hooking up, he made sure of it. You should’ve been happy. But you weren’t.

“It’s too late, JJ.”

Ignoring the way he looked at you, you continued, shrugging your shoulders in defense, “It’s too late for that.”

He didn’t seem to know what to say. You didn’t think there was anything left to say. You started your ascent back towards the ramp when you felt his hands on your wrist, spinning you to face him.

“That night,” he practically whispered, his eyes soft as they met yours, “The one where we were on my couch. We had just spent all day together, just the two of us, for the first time. We were high, remember? You told me you loved me... you... you told me you loved me and that you meant it. Do you still love me?”

You didn’t answer. You felt like you couldn’t. You were left just watching him, gears turning in your head as you tried to figure out a response.

Noting your struggle, he continued, “I didn’t say it back because I didn’t know how I felt. But I do now. I love you. If... if you still love me, we can make this work.”

Your heart ached. You had missed JJ. He was your best friend. Your world. But he shattered you in a second, without so much as another thought.

“Of course I still love you.”

Ignoring his hopeful smile, you pulled your hand from his grip, stepping back, “But there’s a difference between you and me. I knew I loved you that day. All it took was a day together for me to realize how I felt. You... you had to sleep with someone else, JJ. You told me that you didn’t even think about me when you were with her.”

You could see the guilt on his features, but you couldn’t stop.

“You let me walk out that door. And you didn’t care. I called you. I texted you. I can’t even remember how many times I told you I was sorry. Do you know how many times you said it?”

He shook his head silently, watching as you sadly smiled.

“Not once. You never apologized for hurting me, but I apologized countless times for being upset about it. That’s not love, JJ. Someone who loves someone else wouldn’t hurt them like that.”

As you turned to walk back towards the door, you heard him shuffle up the ramp beside you.

“I’m sorry.”

Glancing over at him as you let the door finish closing the space between the two of you, you muttered two words that broke him. He hadn’t even needed to hear you say them to know what words your lips were forming. He didn’t want this to end. He didn’t want things to be over, for good. But for you, they already were.

“Too late.”

tag list :

@heda-mikaelson​ , @fangirlwithme​

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episode 1

Here are my extremely unfashionably late takes! They’re long, so strap in if you want.

okay, I genuinely thought the scenes in Gumb’s basement were ripped from the film for a second. extremely well done.

I both appreciate that they’re acknowledging the Bureau-mandated psych eval Clarice would have to go through (not sure she’d have to have another one a year later?)...

...but I sure wish they hadn’t chosen to open this show in a therapy-like session. it’s going to be subject to enough NBC comparisons as it is.

gosh, Rebecca Breeds is so pretty, and in the same almost, idk, elfin kind of way Jodie Foster is.

“Bride of Frankenstein”! a novel reference! and a Hannibal Lecter reference even though they can’t use his name! I’m excited

I was afraid of this part, though--everyone’s going to call her “Clarice” aren’t they?

it’s very significant that in the books, Hannibal is virtually alone in using her first name to address her; even Ardelia calls her “Starling.” but of course this series chose “Clarice” as its title, so...

“the checkout lady at the Safeway asked me to autograph a melon” omg

so Clarice has supposedly been “mandated” to see an FBI therapist for an entire year? hmm.

tbh, this feels kind of like a proxy for Hannibal’s scenes in the movie, especially with the therapist calling her “Clarice.” not sure if I dig it.

“...given that your last therapist was an inmate” Hannibal reference #2!

they’re explicitly talking about Hannibal without being able to name him and it’s hilarious, frustrating, and immensely satisfying all at once.

there’s no way to avoid talking about him altogether without being disingenuous to Clarice’s eventual character arc, so I’m glad they’re ripping off the band-aid early

“you let that relationship be intimate”  Yeah, Clarice and Hannibal’s relationship IS intimate and YOU! SHOULD! SAY IT!!!

it’s kind of ridiculous for this guy/the show not to acknowledge that little trainee Clarice was sent to see Hannibal by someone who should’ve known better. That Crawford was doing it with the intention to save lives doesn’t mean he didn’t use the shit out of Clarice.

that’s not to take away her agency or minimize the choices she made after she met Hannibal. She wouldn’t have been in a position to make those choices if Crawford hadn’t arranged it, though.

even if they don’t have the rights to Crawford’s name, either (I have to assume that’s the case) couldn’t they at least mention this??

“hasn’t seen her own family in years” Are they actually going to address Clarice’s maybe-dead-maybe-not mother (depending on the canon they adopt, book or film) and possible siblings??? Please tell me they are!

Clarice’s “egregious” PTSD doesn’t have much to do with Buffalo Bill ofc, and this therapist seems to be making excuses to be the first in a long line of men getting in the way of Clarice’s career goals...

...which she recognizes and confronts him about. Call him out!!!

*Anthony Hopkins voice* That’s my girl.

the way she’s been written in this scene gives me a lot of hope going forward! she’s funny, she doesn’t take any sexist bullshit, she’s calm and polite but you get a glimpse of the rage underneath. 

wow, they promoted Senator Martin to Attorney General!

the opening credits (if you can even call them that) are a let-down, though

she has her beads!

can anyone who’s not Hannibal please stop calling her Clarice

wonder if they’re going to touch on any of the extreme tension that existed between Senator Martin and Clarice in the novel? they didn’t interact in the movie, but in the book, Martin is under intense stress, and it doesn’t go smoothly.

of course in “Hannibal,” Martin invites her to “ride horses,” so they obviously reconciled after Catherine’s rescue and kept in some kind of touch.

and speak of the devil: horses! (and Catherine)

“I can’t have a reputation, I’ve only done it once” Thank you for being the voice of reason, Clarice.

“Paul Krendler” *ugly screaming commences*

“you don’t have any people, Clarice” Aaand that’s the plot of the Hannibal novel!

looks like they even gave her the ring Jodie’s Clarice wears!

oh yeah, this Krendler looks like a sumbitch if I ever saw one. No one will ever be as perfectly cast as the dude in Silence imo, but a much better fit than Ray Liotta. 

“small carat, but it’s a sweet ring” A very in-character observation probably directly informed by her comments about nail polish in Silence.

she mentions this victim’s nail polish (!) being “tasteful,” and I shrieked a little again.

I understand it’s necessary for Krendler to be a douche, but there’s not even going to be any payoff for the audience (or Clarice) when Hannibal eats him, so boo.

wait...wait, why aren’t Clarice and Ardelia in their Alexandria duplex? They’re not just best friends, they’re roommates! For the entire seven-year story! GIVE ME THE DUPLEX!!!

BUT points for Ardelia bringing Clarice a treat, since she was always leaving her candy bars in the Silence book!

Clarice interacting with the washer/dryer is a nice nod to the books, too.

speaking of... “What did we learn in the laundry room back at Quantico?” For some reason this line made me actually cry, I guess because this whole episode has been such a love letter to something I love so dearly, and it’s making me emotional.

FIRST PRINCIPLES!

DESPERATELY RANDOM!!!

wow, the men in Clarice’s new office giving her lotion as a hazing “welcome” gift is awful, and now I’m just mad (which is the point of the scene ofc).

so this ex-military OC is the John Brigham stand-in, I take it?

if that means John Brigham won’t be here, No Thanks.

Clarice telling him she’ll drive...a tribute to Dana “Why Do You Always Have to Drive?” Scully, perhaps (who was herself inspired by Clarice) as well as a nod to Clarice’s love of cars?

“Why do they call you the bride of Frankenstein?” Sorry, I don’t have the legal rights to tell you about my last intimate relationship.

“Already on my way to West Virginia Granny Witch” Look, this show could crash and burn from this scene on, and it would still have been worth it just for these first 25 minutes.

I like that Clarice is shown wanting to help people, and the scene of her with the baby is a nice call-back to the eventual shoot-out at the beginning of “Hannibal”...but I hope they don’t try to domesticate her too much. Clarice needs her hard edges. To be tough (reasonably so)--a cub growing into its big cat’s claws.

also, somehow I doubt that Miss Valedictorian spent her six years in the Lutheran home “changing a lot of diapers,” but sure, okay. If her siblings are alive in this, she might have changed their diapers!

even though Krendler’s a real dickwad so far, he’s not slimy enough for me. Needs more grease.

“I got a call from your therapist who’s concerned that you might genuinely flip out” I really do not like this subplot Sam-I-Am. Aren’t the huge glass ceiling/Boys’ Club obstacles enough?

seriously, though, I know Hannibal tells her that the metaphorical lambs will come back--at the end of Silence, though, she’s at some kind of temporary peace, not in danger of “flipping out” any time soon.

if Esquivel really is our Brigham stand-in, I’ve got...problems with that. He was Clarice’s teacher and became her friend, not some Krendler double-agent. (Also worried they’re setting him up as a love interest for her which...eesh, no thanks.)

and sorry, I actually hate that Catherine kept Precious the dog in this.

I have no problem with Catherine being a character, or with her interacting with Clarice...that said, I don’t know if her being shown as severely traumatized and reaching out to Clarice as a form of emotional lifeline is...a good idea?

I understand the symbolism of Catherine’s smashed mirror, but...smashed mirrors are already a Thing in this series (albeit not Clarice’s chapter in it), and that’s all I can think of here.

Catherine’s a victim of unthinkable trauma. Nevertheless...she’s talking to the woman who saved her life. Who risked death to do it. I just don’t like the way this scene is written. Apparently, in this show’s canon, Catherine hasn’t gotten the help she needs. But Clarice isn’t her therapist, and it’s upsetting to have Catherine being all “I’ll never be safe and neither will you.”

how does Catherine remember “the mannequins, the autopsy table”?? And why is she throwing them in Clarice’s face?

I’m going to stop talking about this scene now because it’s making me angry and a little upset, which is maybe the point? I just don’t think it’s written well. If Catherine’s going to be a recurring character, I hope she’s shown getting professional, medical help.

Clarice finding the victim’s papers in the box of pads is a direct callback to her finding the photos in the jewelry box in Silence. Nice.

let’s agree that Hannibal and Crawford are both in Ardelia’s (too-cutesy-for-me) book

another nice little X-Files homage?

I have some qualms about that big climax, but...meh. It was capital-F Fine.

Yikes, this is a full week late. Thanks for reading this entirely-too-long post through to the end, if you’re still here! 

To sum up my thoughts...

The Good: 

the visual connections to the Silence film (that green coat/blue knit scarf combo in particular)

Rebecca Breeds’ performance overall so far

Clarice’s strong writing/characterization

her sense of humor and her inclination to call out bullshit

maybe it was just me, but I also got a sense of Hannibal’s influence on her in some of her dialogue--her blunt observations--and I love it

Ardelia Mapp

the repeated in-your-face references to Hannibal Lecter

the respectful, non-exploitative way the victims were treated by the narrative.

let’s just say, not all Harris-inspired shows managed to do this. :)

the many, many allusions to the novel

“you let that relationship be INTIMATE” !!!

The Bad: 

the near-constant implication that all Clarice’s trauma stems from her experiences in Gumb’s basement

I just don’t understand this one...it’s not supported by the text imo

the “Clarice-is-a-psychological-loose-canon” subplot

almost everyone calling her “Clarice”

NO DUPLEX IN ALEXANDRIA! Boo!

Esquivel maybe replacing Brigham

the narrative choices they’ve made surrounding Catherine so far.

Seriously: please let Catherine seek/get help instead of screaming “HELP ME” at Clarice, who after all risked her own life to save Catherine’s, over the phone.

The Ugly: Paul Krendler, lol. Confession time: I also don’t care for the way they’ve styled her hair. Not sure why it bugs me, it just...does.

Overall, I’m thrilled to death with this. I was so afraid it would be disappointing, so even if it’s not a five-star episode (and pilots rarely are), it’s a great beginning! It’s beyond amazing to see our girl on the screen again. Just this hour-long episode did her character way more justice than the entire Hannibal film. Despite its shortcomings, it’s such a loving homage to characters and a story that mean a lot to me, and I love it just for that.

Going forward, I’d like to see more of Clarice as a person. Her hobbies and interests--cars, sharpshooting, running, fashion magazines stuffed under her bed, horseback riding, her total inability to cook...anything would do. I of course want to see more of her with Ardelia. I want to hear more about her backstory and find out which version of it (truly orphaned when her father dies or sent away by her mother) they’ll choose to explore. And while we all agree that this show is about Clarice and she don’t need no man, I won’t lie: I’d gobble up more sly references to Hannibal. He’s her endgame, after all.

I’d also like to really see the warrior underneath. There are flashes of her in the last twenty minutes of this episode. But Clarice Starling is a big cat, she’s a warrior, she’s between iron and silver. I’d hate for her to spend most of this show doe-eyed and traumatized. I want her to be ferocious, to see the woman who’s a match for the monster.

Krendler needs to get nastier. He should make us feel like we need to shower. In the novels, he wants to use Clarice--only for her body. And when she won’t allow him to, he takes his revenge. That’s what makes him so particularly awful. Let’s amp him up here.

And finally...maybe I’ll appreciate Catherine’s scene more on a second watch. Maybe I’m not being sensitive enough to her trauma, her struggles. But I didn’t like the way that scene was staged or scripted, and I didn’t like the suggestion that she just hasn’t gotten help after a year and is subsequently taking her pain out on Clarice on some level. I hope future episodes handle this subplot, and her character, a bit better.

Please let me know if you guys would like me to do another of these monstrosities for the next episode. (I promise it won’t take me an entire week this time!) And thank you again for reading!!!