#so I just... I won't be going to family events anymore tbh

[not-that-blog]

I'm lowkey trauma dumping to the internet again in the tags bc it got to me.

[bnhxx]

Coming out of my shell to say that I'm petitioning to be Leon's annoying little sister

Some platonic sibling hcs under the cut!!

Warnings: Platonic! Au, a little bit of sibling violence and A LOT of sibling banter, mentions of ptsd, drinking and alcoholism and events in RE2 and RE4

It's always I want him to rail me! I want his babies! And I can respect that I can I can but...have you ever considered being his annoying little baby sibling that adopts him as your new family member 😇

Like yeah nah bro I wanna annoy him and tease him for having no rizz AT ALL and just all around annoy tf outta him 😤

Like he's an orphan but not AnYmOrE, scooping this traumatised boy up and making him WISH he never met you but also is weirdly protective you who "adopted" him as their "sibling", and now won't stop saying "point and laugh!" out loud everytime he does smth stupid in the middle of the office when hes back from a mission.

Like, please he just needs an annoying little sibling in his life, I know I can't fix him but by God can I be the annoying little sister he so desperately needs in his life

Like....I KNOW his heels have never known the wrath of MY FEET clipping his shoes up when he's walking too slow but he NEEDS to 😭😭😭 I need to post this and find my PEOPLE

Also I feel like being a sibling vibe you'd have tagged along as a civilian in RE2, also not knowing what the fuck was going on but hey, you're in this fucked up shit together now ig. 🤷‍♀️ And you have some family/friends out of state so after the event you take him to chill at a beach or smth w your family/friends bc you're both well deserving of a fucking break while this ptsd hits the both of you

n everyone talks about how fucking awkward he was w Sherry in game but ayo hes REALLY feeling it now...

Like you're joking when you're like "it's like you've never been to one of these Leon 🤨"

N he just looks at you like "Yeah I haven't 😐"

AND YOU KAHSJEVDHEKEHEJE

"You're like 😶....bro....you have now been absorbed.....as my older brother"

And he's like 🧐🧐🧐 at first bc what??? How do I interact w these ppl??? Why me???? but ofc they love him, he's RE2 Leon and although he's super fucking traumatised and still awkward asf he just wants to make a good impression on his friends' close ones

Also he's like sitting there like damn,,,,,I wish I had that 😔

So you're like wELP noW yoU dO 🤪

And of course they're super grateful to him bc he saved you so they treat him nicely but he kinda gets that a lot so he's just like 🧍

So after you tell them hes now your older brother you've deemed it so 🤗 they just start to treat him like that and he just, doesn't know what to do??? Do I salute them, (y/n)???

Do it make him salute them for at least three weeks until you tell him absolutely no one does that and he was stupid for ever believing you 😈

Tbh I feel like this would work for the first couple of times until he mentions it at work in passing n everyone's like 🤨,,,,so then the next time he sees you he just has that pissed off older sibling face and he's coming for you so you better have ran like you did in Raccoon City kahsjehs 🏃‍♀️💨

But yeah after a while you guys stay in touch, he's training and drowning his pain with alcohol and you're trying to get him into more healthier ways of dealing w his pain as well as laughing at him kshsjdhsjs

your just sort of there to support him even when he's pushing you away bc no idiot I will not leave you alone when you're training I will watch and I will LAUGH when you fall. But I will also cheer you on when you win and give you my favourite hello kitty bandaid if you ever get hurt 🥰

And he's super grateful?? Bc your like this stable sort of annoying person who's there for him no matter what.

Like he knows he can come to yours to crash if he's had one too many drinks to holds his hair when he's puking his guts out hungover.

Yes you are there in the morning to laugh and yell at him for being stupid but he also saw the glass of water you left on the couch next to the ibuprofen and chuck bucket for him. And the little blankets and they you always seem to have waiting on him when he arrives

Yes you will be there to do it all over again if he comes walking to your place after he's drunk again.

And Yes, you will also be there to show him all the dumb photos you took of him drunk on your Kodak once they get developed and cackle in his face 😈

He like actually learns to take a load off with you and relax a little bc you have a bond and you weren't just saying that when you took his ass on holiday, you really meant you'd be there for him and it means a lot to him bc he's never really had that stability in his life before 😔

Also bc the trauma bonding you just get him ✨️ like you can both relate to the horrors you saw and what you unknowingly found out about Umbrella.

Like maybe you work w him in the field or just as an archivist or smth but you're helping him w this cause too, dealing w the same or similar shit he's been dragged into so ofc you guys form a bond w each other.

And so by the time RE4 rolls around imagine you're like talking him through his mission on the radio n he's soo serious around Ashley and Luis so you can't help it you burst out laughing bc he's so stiff, and he's like THIS is a LIFE and DEATH siTuAtiOn now do your fUcKiNg jOb SeNd me tHe coOrDiNatEs

And you're like okay okay grumpy pants 😈 I'll give you the coordinates but you have to say pwetty pwease w a cherry on top for me 🥰

If it were anyone else he'd turn the radio off and find it himself but bc he does care for you, and you're like the only stable platonic thing he's had in ages he's like cursing and swearing until he FINALLY caves in and does it

So you give him the coordinates and just as he's about to go back to almost dying your like "I got that recorded fyi" and he's just 😤😤😤 at Luis for no real reason other than his 'little shit of an adopted sibling' kwhsjshdhd

But also imagine randomly calling him constantly bc you're really worried for him bc this time your not there with him and it scares you

And he's like, I'm not dying here bc who else is gonna put up w your shithead behaviour??? n you're just like, 'aww Leon!! 🥺🥺'

So hes like 'yeah so stfu and let me do my mission 😤' but you swear you can hear the smile in his voice through the radio

OR if you're there, with him it's even MORE chaos kshdjdhdjdn

Like imagine Luis flirting w you n him being all protective older brother on you, n you're just like 🙄 siblings amirite, btw Leon that's a prime example of how to properly rizz someone up you loser 😇 n your not running from ganados this time your running from him (again) 🏃‍♀️💨

If you engage in sibling violence he's like, you haven't hit me once this whole mission n you're like, I'm giving you a vacation since we're running for our godamned lives out here n hes thinking like 🥺 my shins have never know rest like this before since I met you 🥺

but he just gives you a little smirk 'heh' or some one liner and that's it he did it to himself his shins indeed do NOT know rest 💀

Being teased by him more and more as he matures but dw, you're always there to annoy him back 😇 and run tf away when he gives that older sibling look like he's about to wreck your shit for ever thinking of crossing him lajsjsjsbs

[ikamigami]

About Sun's death flags

I think that people got that wrong.. I mean I've seen that people were saying (mostly on Discord) that Sun won't die.. Sun's death is a red herring.. etc.

But the thing is that I think that they forgot about some really important lil crucial detail..

Who said that villain will be the one to kill Sun? Or who even said that anyone else will kill Sun.. accident or not..

Many people either don't want to see or just simply ignore that one important detail..

I think that the one who will kill Sun is he himself.. or more likely he'll attempt to do that but fail.. and end up being either in a coma or severely damaged..

Show still is hinting that Sun is suicidal.. - most recent episode them playing russian rullete with a shotgun.. cause why Sun is the one who is playing and he seemed to be curious about what will happen if he'll die.. silly little guy *giggles*

Or another one - them reacting to animatics.. I'm talking about when Sun was in Ruin's dimension.. and like I said Sun didn't even care that Ruin's Monty could've kill him.. he didn't hacking care...

I bet that they chose that animatic because it had not only hallucinations mentioned but also one of the major signs that Sun is suicidal..

Also I don't believe that Sun is doing "oh so great".. like even Earth sees that he's hiding something but she doesn't know how to help him without causing more damage.. - "I care about you".. she says also that he and Moon can talk to her about their issues..

Like come on.. Is Earth really the only one person that sees that there's something "off" with Sun..

But like I said on Discord.. Earth can't be the only one who cares about Sun cause it's obvious that she doesn't know what to do..

I'm glad that she's pushing Moon to deepen his bond with Sun.. cause it doesn't seem that good tbh..

Like Moon is hanging out with Solar a lot.. it's not a bad thing.. but the way they seem to treat Sun isn't the best.. they both often times say that Sun is dumb to his face and think that Sun can't help with things.. like it's obvious that they treat him more like a "do this, bring that" way.. they don't seem to rely on him.. "he's dumb" so they don't need him for planning..

And I'm 100% sure Sun notices that..

Also like I said I think that Sun was really ready to kill himself.. but Eclipse showed up and he needs to take care of a threat cause he feels responsible for Eclipse's existence in the first place and don't want for his family to deal with problems he caused in the first place...

Also now that Moon has a good companionship in Solar's person and Earth and Lunar have each other.. they also have Monty and Foxy.. and they have on their side Castor and Pollux.. And Earth and Lunar can take care of the Daycare..

Sun realises that.. he isn't needed anymore.. and they would be better without him cause he causes so many problems.. if it wasn't for still existing threats hanging over them..

The fact that events seem to repeat - slightly differently but still.. and the fact that Sun remembers everything.. and knowing the show things will go downhill.. and Sun will 100% blame himself for this.. cause if he remembers but still wasn't able to help or stop bad things from happening once again then what does it say about him..

The answer is simple.. it would mean that Sun is a failure and that he truly is awful..

I think that the show is going in this direction.. it won't happen soon.. but I think that this is it...

[morimakesfanart]

Sweetie are you alive?????

Somehow??? ;0;

I know I disappeared and I've been trying to figure out how to explain it when I post the next chapter. I have been unwell in multiple ways ;-;

I'm going to use this ask to try to figure out how to say it

First, the day after my birthday (yes the day after posting the last canon chapter) I went through something extremely scary that I don't want to talk about. I thought I was okay, but I'm the type to compartmentalize until I am actually safe enough to feel which turned out to be a few weeks after the event. I was actually so shaken up by what happened that I couldn't write or draw or do anything for fun for nearly a month. I was like a robot

Second, just as I was getting better emotionally, I got very very sick, had to see many doctors and specialists to figure out what was wrong. I had 3 conditions making each other worse. I won't get into the details here but it hurt to open one of my eyes for a long time and then I developed sever vision fatigue in both. Last week I was finally diagnosed as being infection free after months of treatments, but it went on for so long that I'll probably be having symptoms for at least another month as my body calms down.

The biggest saving grace is that I now I know I've been fighting an infection for who knows how long and got cured of it, maybe I won't get as sick all the time for a while???? ((Please🤞🤞🤞))

I started working on the art for the next chapter 2 weeks ago as the pain started fading enough that it didn't hurt to look at my art tablet. Not sure how long it will take because I keep getting vision fatigue very quickly. Patreon got to see the sketch version already. I'm practically desperate to draw and write at this point so as I'm slowly able to do so it's rushing out of me like tsunami. I have chapters 40&41 mostly done being written now too

Medical TMI for the morbidly curious :

(not a lot of details, but I wanted to hide it because I know eye stuff can be scary for people)

I learned that I had an ongoing eye infection in my eye lids and around my eye lashes for the past several years that was misdiagnosed (that doctor definitely didn't like me so I'm not surprised tbh). It only revealed the truth because my immune system couldn't keep up anymore and the infection started spreading under the skin in an extremely huge and painful way. The past several months I've been doing treatments. It was only last week that I was diagnosed as cured of both infections, but it will still be a month or more of living with the after effects. It has hurt to use my eyes and keep them open for most of the past several months. It doesn't hurt much anymore at least. I have another appointment coming up to see if the current symptoms were from the infection+ meds, or if all of this was so bad that I have glaucoma now. It runs in my family so I'm at risk. Also, it looks like I will need eye drops for the rest of my life, and developing dry eyes was most likely a big factor in why I got the first infection.

I'm so done with being sick

[idontunderstandwhydoyouneedmyurl]

Its late and I can't sleep so have some fun facts about my tav

Her name is Katrice Taventridus Elwoyzorwyn (el-wuh-zor-win), she's a half wood elf wizard (nobility background) and as of the events of bg3 she's 55 years old. Her magical ability strength lies in elemental magic, namely fire ice and lightning. Her alignment is neutral good because she believes more in doing what is right rather than what is lawful, but only if she won't get caught

She grew up in Baldur's Gate in a very affluent family, she went to a magical academy and graduated at the top of her class in an effort to impress her parents (spoiler: it didn't work)

After Katrice graduated she tried to join her father's magical item importation business. He told her that not only did he not want her to join, but that if she did it would tarnish the reputation as an elven business because she was actually half human and an affair child

She decided (to prove to her dad herself that she could in fact do whatever she put her mind to, surprise biracial affair child or no, so she got herself a basic adventuring pack and set off for adventure. She then got zapped up by the nauteloid ship literally before she made it out of the main city gate

She's part of a playthru that I did multi-player with my wife who played a tiefling ranger (criminal background) named Valmaia, and we consider that our "canon" run. Katrice and Val butted heads a lot at the beginning but by the end of the game are good friends

She's 5'6", weighs about a hundred pounds soaking wet, and the only reason her STR is 10 is because I refuse to go lower on any stat at all ever

Katrice hoards scrolls and potions because "you never know!!" But because her potion bag gets heavy, she pawns it off on Astarion to carry.

She doesn't trust the dream visitor (who looks like her birth mom) and refuses to eat more tadpoles or to use the illithid power at all. Valmaia meanwhile is eating the tadpoles like candy. Modern day pickle giver vs pickle eater tbh

Katrice and Wyll end up falling in love over the course of the game, because they ran in similar social circles growing up. Because Katrice is twice Wyll's age, they never actually met, but they likely would've been childhood friends.

In my personal solo playthru with Katrice, I had her romance Astarion in a "I can fix him but maybe he'll corrupt me a little" kind of way, a "on my gods my parents would be SO disappointed in me for bringing home such a charlatan. Isnt that exciting" rebellion kind of way. (I'm now romancing him with my dark urge which is a whole other flavor of emotionally delicious)

Im playing with the idea of her birth mom (who went missing shortly after Katrice was born) having been one of Cazador's victims just for a little extra gut punch

She had to talk down shadowheart from killing the nightsong, astarion from committing mass murder so he can suntan, gale from trying to become a God, like that one meme of a guy struggling and tangled with three babies on leashes

After the events of bg3 Katrice is well funded as both a professional adventurer and recognized as a hero of the city, so she's able to buy a controlling interest in her father's company.

She also buys Cazador's mansion (since he's not using it anymore) and turns it into a tavern/inn that employs several of the vampire spawn that Astarion freed. They work and in exchange are given room and board and a safe blood supply from local butchers and donors. Astarion refuses to stay there but thinks the idea is hilarious.

Wyll, Valmaia, and Karlach went to Avernus to live in the House of Hope while they look more into a cure for Karlach. Katrice doesn't enjoy the long distance relationship thing but once she and Rolan set up a portal to the House of Hope from the top of Ramazith’s tower, its a little easier to go back and forth.

My wife and I are playing a 2 person DND style game where we're continuing this thread and are doing an Icewind Dale based story together, just rolling dice for how the plot goes. I'm insanely excited to keep going (and if anyone asks me about it ill just straight up share my campaign notes i love it)

[kiindr]

Hi, so I saw that you said peeps can send in rants, and I realllllllllllly would love to rant. If you did not mean this, or do not want to reply - you can delete it. I will not be offended in the slightest! No trigger warnings, only family issues (and also please don't tire/burn yourself out with this blog. Even just listening/reading about others' issues is draining).

Backstory/context:

I'm a 24 year old female, recently diagnosed with autism. Not good socially, but not terrible. I'm kinda like Katniss Everdeen tbh.

I was working as a bartender at a wedding venue. The building is owned by a well-known wine creator/seller, who leases it to my aunty so she can do weddings there (so she owns 50% of the business, the other is with a friend/chef. They've known each other for 25 years).

I have just only been diagnosed with autism (I was diagnosed multiple times beforehand, so it's been a big few weeks). I have social anxiety and if things get too much, I usually have emotional reactions - but I've learned to walk away, go somewhere and cry for a bit, calm down, dry my tears and get back in there.

I've been working there for over a year now, and last week she fired me from my bartending job, saying I'm too emotional and that "I should be happy at work, because people can tell when I'm not."

It was done over text message by my manager who says I should go to the cafe to work (so they aren't 'firing' me per say, but they are ...) However, working at the cafe I would only be filling up waters, and getting drinks (what the other owner's 16-year-old daughter does.) They also won't let me work the one wedding this weekend. I'm just flabbergasted.

I had to message my aunty to see what was going on, because they'd been completely fine with me working this position for a year. I've put up with a lot from customers. Verbal abuse (being called c*nt, a stuck-up b*tch etc) all because I won't give them alcohol, as well as nearly being physically assaulted. So I've dealt with a lot of bullcrap.

But I've also done big weekends with 4 weddings, literally only 3 weeks ago and nothing was said then? I've never had any feedback. No one taught me (except my other aunty who was in this bartending position but she was drunk all the time. And she never got in trouble, like I'm talking stealing alcohol from the venue aka my aunty who owns the business, I'm also pretty sure she was stealing from the cash register and would take things - once a groom had cigars and before they even used them, she stole one???). So, what I'm trying to say, is I was a fantastic worker. In the whole year and a month I was there, I only had 6 days off total.

I was helpful to others, kept everything on track. So I can only deduce that business owner! aunty is upset with how I interacted with customers? But I asked my coworkers and they said I was fine??? That I was great until the customers started getting rude.

There's also been a new manage/supervisor, lets call him John. He's only a few years older than me, I previously worked with him for a small time when I was 18 at a hotel. He knows alcoholic! aunty because they've worked together for years at different hotels.

My stepdad and mum, who are very very supportive of me right now, think John has a bartender friend and his trying to get them into my job?

I just don't understand. I'm family, business owner! aunty has been an integral part in my life. She's been at big events and shown that she loves me. But right now it's like she hates me?

When I messaged her, it was basically, "you get too upset. I'm too worried that you will be emotional, you're overthinking this. The bar isn't right for you, it's been an ongoing concern and it's a business decision, not a personal one. I'm not texting anymore. Happy to talk face to face."

So I've said "okay when can we talk face to face" (even though I am sh*tting myself even at the thought. She's been described as a viper, and has started a family fight in the past; nearly having a punch on with my mum.)

AND SHE HASN'T REPLIED.

Sidenote: I don't want to work at the cafe because:

It's the principle of it; it's being demoted and it's embarrassing. But also the fact that no, I'm not too emotional. A workplace needs to be safe and keep their staff feeling safe (it's very unsafe - that's why there's such a high staff turn over.)

I don't want to work with alcoholic! aunty because she's done some really really traumatic things to me in the past (it was including a knife but I'm not going to go into that).

Anyyywwwaaayyyy, If you read all that. Thank you so much. I'm sorry it's so long. I hope you have a great day, a great month, a great life. You deserve it x

TW: family issues

hello, thank you for sending in your rant <3

wow, that really is a lot to go through. your reasons for not wishing to work at the cafe are totally valid. nothing is more important than your safety and providing such a basic need to one's employees is the most crucial responsibility of an employer.

it sounds like nobody is giving you any real and honest reasons as to why you're being technically fired. i can only imagine how frustrating that must feel.

from what you just told me, i can see how hard you have been working and how seriously you take your job. i hope that your aunt comes around and sees it. and even if she doesn't, i hope that you find a workplace that treats you well.

you deserve kindness, respect, and appreciation for your work. please take care <3

i'm sending you lots of support and comfort! please feel free to reach out again if you need to vent and you found this helpful :)

[atinydise]

Hello! I'm a new Atiny, became a stan in Jan. 2022. I saw your guide for new Atiny's which was BEAUTIFULLY organized, so I hoped you might be willing to help new Atiny's navigage the fan site/official merch and concert ticket sales? I really want to see them on tour and I just want to make sure I'm going through the right avenues. Thank you for your consideration!

Hongjoong and San Biased, but I genuinely love them all and their dynamic together!

I'm also a Stay, Moa and ARMY.

Hello! Welcome to Atinyland, you will love it! 🦋

Personally, I can't have a bias in Ateez, but I definitively know what you are talking about for Hongjoong and San hehe

And sorry for answering you this late but I will do my best to help you :)

First, tbh I don't have any idea how's working Ateez fan site. I think I've never been there yet. But I'm sure you can find info on Twitter/Google... 😔

But I can definitively help with the merch and the concert ticket sales hehe

Official merch: you can buy some on a lot of websites.

⚠️ Be aware that if you are not living in SK or around the shipping fees are atrocious 💀

KQ Shop: here you can buy everything related to KQ artists such as birthday merch, albums, lightsticks, concert merch, and more.

Ateez EU Store (in partnership with MyMusicTaste): they’re selling a few months after the concert the amount of merch left. If you are leaving in Europe, it’s way more interesting to wait for the website to be updated and then buy here. The shipping fees are waaaay cheaper.

MyMusicTaste: I don’t know if they will still sell merch since they don’t organize concerts anymore (if I understand well), but they were used to selling special merch or good opportunities such as fan-sign, fan-call, and meet-and-greet event.

Official KPOP websites such as: Kpoptown, Ktwon4U (there are interesting sales sometimes).

Tickets concert sales: I won't lie to you lmao this is the stressful thing eveeer! But you can do it :)!

To be fully prepared the sale day:

Be aware of every sale (pre-sale, membership sale, official sale), and just in case sign up for all of them.

Be sure to have at least 2 free hours to get your tickets (if you can ofc). Most of the time tickets will get sold out really quickly, but people are leaving their cart, or the venue can add little by little some seats. So do not give up until you have official news from the venue.

Prepare many devices if you can. Take your phone, laptop, your parents’ phone, roommate's computer, bf/gf’s phone… everything you can!

Ask your friends, parents, family or anyone to help you to get tickets.

Be sure to have a good Internet connection. Sometimes Wifi can be a b*tch so don’t hesitate to use your phone 4G/5G if you can. And it’s way faster.

Create in advance an account on the venue website.

Start to refresh the website 1 hour before.

Do not leave or refresh the queue when you are in. If you consider being too far in the queue then add another device or try in incognito mode.

Have your credit card ready with more than the price of tickets on it.

Stalk social media, especially Twitter. I suggest activating Ateez and the venue account notification so you won’t miss anything.

⚠️ FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH THE VENUE LAYOUT. This is sooo important! You won’t freak out the first time you enter the website, you know what to do.

If you are a minor, be sure to ask your parents or legal guardian the authorization to go to the concert, and be aware that you need an adult with you the D-Day.

Follow fanbases account. They're doing their best to make sure that everything is okay for you and the artist.

If you are going to multiple venues, do the same thing for each of them. Learn how every website works.

⚠️ Depending on the country, buy places from an official reseller.

Play an Ateez playlist in the background to give you the strength to fight for your tickets lmao (personal suggestions: Guerilla, Wonderland, Hala Hala, Say My Name, Wave, Illusion, Not Too Late,...)

Hope it helps you a little bit more 🦋🥺

[loudestcloud]

BNHA Character Theme Songs!

Pt1

Pt2

Pt3

Pt4: Here we are lads! Final part because I do just keep forgetting to update this. Ive had this actually playlist done for literally 4 months so. Sorry lol but here we go. Villians & Vigilantes! reminder that this is spoiler free but I am up to date on the anime, and almost with the mangas

Edit: it's been a year now. Sorry about that 💀 I think I lost the motivation because a lot of my villian choices just make sense and I can't explain much about them because they are easy picks for me. Also please check out the other parts

Explanations vvv

Stain: I was gonna pick Killer by The Hoosiers but I think this one is better. I can really see an AMV to this one and tbh it's a good song that no one reall talks about anymore. Also, blood quirk, blood song ect.

Overhaul: This man thought he was invincible, he thought he was incredibly and that no one would ever stop him. Now he's nothing 🥰 Also, people still make AMVs to this song and they slap every single time, I'd sell my soul for more audio inclusive AMVs. The presents of this song is very similar to that of Overhaul. It's very overbearing, powerful kinda iconic in a small way but at the end of the day, I mix this song up with so many others. The style, beat and vocals are just so similar to so many others like it.

ReDestro - This was chosen before I read the arc. I think it's still good. Keeping it spoiler free, while he may not be the most remembered for events he helped in, he should won't be forgotten in the Bnha history books.

All for one - A slow piano start, Soft high vocals, an ere vibe leading up to heavy metal! Add the lyrics and it's perfect for him. It feels like his into then the ground zero fight.

Shigaraki - " Everything you love turns to dust " and " You'd kill for answers but learn to live with questions " is very on brand. The vibe is also what's I see him as if that makes sense at all. It's kinda chaotic in a way. 🎵Don't get attached to live🎵

Kurogiri - This is a joke I like to make about something and I can't explain because this is a spoiler free zone. But that aside, Kurogiri gives me mother mother vibes, anyone else?

Dabi - okay I cave, I have to say it. Spoiler warning: I picked this before it was cannon and was fully just gonna say "we all know it's true by now, come on" like!! 🎵bet you didn't think that I'd come back to life🎵 Get it bitch! Headcanon this was his dance song? I think soooo!!!

Toga - 🎵the boy I loves got another girl🎵 💃🏻I just feel she would like this song choice💃🏻and vibe it a lot💃🏻 na but for real, Vibes, style, lyrics, voice? Very Toga

Twice - This was all I could come up with that wasn't wildly ablist towards him. I will be taking replacement request lol cos I think something better could be out there but for now, we have this. It feels like twice having a panic attack alone and then remembering that the LoV are his family now.

Spinner: Hahaha, gamer boy villian song. I just wanted to include him but both he and this song is very cool.

Compress - This was also added before the thing you may think. This song is here because I had a Yung Gravy obsession for about 2 months while also having a thing for Compress. I think it works but I'm bias.

La Brava - It's literally her quirk, it's kinda cheesy* and the lyrics are very VERY her.

Gentle Criminal - Old YouTuber boy! He's definitely getting rickrolled over and over, not understanding anything going on. I actually really like this song, 100% unironically and it's a romantic vibe. Gentle is loyal to La Barva too n that's most of what the sing is at its core.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Knuckleduster - He is a natural but at the start his vibes are low key ominous. He slaps tho and it's not a spoiler but I miss him.

*Koichi - It's a soft song, kind on the ears. Kochi was really out here living this song almost to a t, huh? Damm boy. No one in the Bnha fandom seems to care about him and this song is also very underplayed.

Pop⭐Step: * not as cheesy as this one, baby! Okay so this song is from a 2007 movie and in the fictional universe the song came out in the 80s. No one cares about this movie at all, even less people care about this song and I'm almost curtain my mother and I are the only ones who actually know the words anymore. That being said, Pop would 100% sing this once a show and shed think it's amazing. No one in the Bnha fandom seems to care about pop at all either.

No.6 - He really can't, can he? He's a strange little man.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Im not dead hi

💀💀💀

I kinda thought to myself a little and I was just like... oh yeh with the note I left on and the degree I've let this get to me dipping for that long probably would look suspect..

Figured I'd get back to it. I am tryna slow down again. Me constantly being like.. high high starts to get in the way I'm seeing. I can get away with it within the first like hour halfish buuut past that I get really out of it and I process shit super slow. I've actually always had this problem now that I'm looking back tbh. But usuallyyyy I'd just dose again during that period and I'd be fine. But with how much i take off rip I have hydration issues by the first and I'm sure taking dose after dose prolly would exasperate that a bit

I'm actually halfway through the bottle now. It was kinda weird to see. It's felt like it's unlimited ever since I bought the giant bottle but 4 months later andd I've emptied the rest of it into the container I hide em in. I don't know how I feel about it.

Oh right uh I dunno if I had done it by the time I posted the other one but I went ghost for like.. 4-5ish days and that was.. eventful. Wasn't planned. I was sad one day and I just continued ignoring everything until a less closeish friend of mine reached out. He considers me his best friend but even with that we don't talk that that much. So once HEEE start going through hoops to try and reach out I was like o uh maybe I took it too far.

All in the past now it's been about a week being back. I try and let myself ignore messages more so that I feel more comfortable giving myself space without needing as long as a break. Well. That's the nice way of looking at it. Whatever uh. R and me have been fine. Had some technical issues with insta and I wasn't on as much cause of it which wasn't a great look after all that. I felt so bad. She cried a few times while I was gone. Unlike me and the other dude we do talk everyday and while the shit aint as like.. ig attentive as it used to be, we do usually get back to each other a bunch throughout the day so she damn near instantly thought something was off..

Sorry I'm babbling at this point. Long story short. Habit has gotten pretty bad. When I dipped I was doing it 3x a day and I've been doing 2ish lately. Still a long way from the once every other day I was doing when I originally started this. It makes me really sad honestly. Sometimes I don't even feel like taking my pills for the day but then boom I'm finna cry. Or irritable and have my whole day ruined off a minor annoyance. It don't even feel worth it to fight it anymore. But the hydration thing is kinda bad so I try sometimes ig

I had 2 funerals to go to while I was gone too. One was an old family friend. I never was close with her as like I'm just now really starting to connect with people in my family tbh. But it was still like.. wild. I just visited her around this time last year and one year later she's in the ground. The second one was for a longtime friend of my mom's. I won't lie, I really didn't know her at all. But it happening back to back just rattled me. I had seen them both semi recently and they weren't deathly ill at the time or anything. I just. I dunno. I can't explain why it makes me sad

I had to get high for the funerals. I felt so embarrassed but I just know it'd be easier that way. Though uh I kept circulating on whether they suffered or not and I couldn't stop crying cause of it. I hate that there's a real possibility that they sat there feeling terrified and in agony before they left. That still kills me. I hope they were able to be semi comfortable at least. It's the least they deserve

I'm not high rn but that's finna change. I had to play this game with a friend of mine yesterday while coming down and that shit was.. miserable. I wanted to sleep and lie around but dude bought the game for me specifically for us to play. I wouldn't dare. I was tryna stay sober today just incase he was tryna play earlier today and i didn't wanna risk being gone gone. But atp I think I'll just hop on tomorrow. I'm sick of being like this. I'll just say I got busy.

I'm gonna probably change the way I write these cause the multiple times a day thing is kinda awkward to document. Or not. I dunno. Maybeee I will stop being such a fucking JUNKIEEE and take the shit at least semi safely I wouldn't need to but. We will see.

I'll get back to it tho. I think it's important to keep up with it and if I only update when I'm semi stable it defeats the purpose of the page tbh. My bad for dying off the face of the earth. I'm fine

[kris-p-banana-bread]

Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

[harry-sussex]

You're lovely, and I enjoy seeing your blog on my dashboard. I'm sorry this has been such a difficult thing to process. It's always really difficult to rework an image of someone you once thought you knew. However I'd like to just put it out there - sometimes (I think the large majority of the time) news is presented in the most sensationalist way, such that nowadays I make a point of de-sensationalizing any news I read in my head. In the case of the whole Harry's memoir thing- I can sympathize with Harry as a person possibly just wanting to take back some control of the narrative for himself. Not just in the most recent events with family (that I tend to think are less horrifying than the fandom/Twitter sussex squad discusses it anyway), but in all aspects of his life. I do not at all think he's going to put his family on blast. I can easily imagine Meghan reigning that dialogue in; she has the tendency to think before she speaks that he seems to lack. And he loves his family. Similar to The Interview promos, I imagine the publishing house knew to increase the interest by implying it to be a tell all memoir. I think he's just done a lot of growing up that he didn't know he had to do over a short period of time, esp re: implicit bias/racism in the setting of media's blatant attack on someone he loves, and is disappointed by the institution's and his family's response to it. I think he's emerged a more introspective and aware human, albeit a disillusioned one. Yes it breaks my heart to think that Meghan won't get a break from the tabloids any time soon. If I were him I'd counsel him to write it & sit on it for a few yrs. But I don't want to give the media the power to destroy Meghan in my mind, and I pray she & Harry won't either. I think she'll be okay. She's a strong one, and I think he's able to draw that same link for himself and be thoughtful about what he does. No one likes being misunderstood/misinterpreted, and I wouldn't be surprised if Harry's especially triggered by that given his history with the press. Maybe this idea emerged from therapy, idk. I can empathize with that, even if I wouldn't do it myself. I hope and pray Meghan gets the support she needs from him and her loved ones in the meantime. I'm honestly not going to read it. I think the less attention I give the BRF the better off they are, unless they're doing something immoral/illegal (see: Woking pizza alibi). And I think at the end of the day, people will unfairly judge other people, especially public figures that have tragic pasts and are publically fighting with the media. A lot of it is going to be noise and I'm not going to give my energy into figuring it out. I like to think I've got a good sense of who they are as people - flawed but ultimately well meaning and earnest. I'm a huge admirer of Meghan and think Harry got really lucky with this one and I'm proud of him for choosing her in more ways than one. I believe Harry and Meghan are lovely people, and I 100% believe their interview. I believe that there are people in the palace with a lot of unchecked power who deliberately uncovered her and Archie from BRF protection for reasons of believed superiority over Meg & Arch. And they're figuring out how to deal with that as a couple and a family. And it's none of my business past that imo. I pray for them and hope it'll eventually end in peace for them all. Just wanted to add another perspective, and hopefully some levity. xx M

Hi, dear. First thing’s first, I really appreciate that this is off anon lol. I love it when people own their opinions, and it says a lot that you did. So thank you for that.

Second of all, I really appreciate the nuance and perspective that is in this message. I agree that the news is sensationalist, and my initial reaction was based off of that. I did watch the promotional clips of the interview and I believe it did sour my expectations going into it when I watched it nearly a week after it aired. I did my best to stay away from Tumblr because I didn’t want that to hinder my view, but it was impossible to separate the promotions that presented the information one way from what it actually was, and thank you for bringing that up with respect to the memoir because I hadn’t considered it. I will say that my knee jerk reaction is pretty on par with the way I still feel about it 24 hours later, especially since I got the news directly, not from Tumblr or Twitter or anywhere else, but you’re right that it could have soured my view from the very start.

I appreciate that he wants to take back some of the narrative but I think that ship has sailed, tbh. He did that with the interview and now I just think it feels like information overload. At some point, people are going to get tired of hearing the wealthy, privileged, powerful Prince complain about his life while more than 4 million people have died due to a global pandemic in less than 2 years. Not to say that he doesn’t struggle - in the words of Roxane Gay, there is no oppression Olympics (and that can be extended to struggle Olympics) - but people view it that way and will get tired of it, if they haven’t already.

I also agree that Harry’s past with the press has tarnished the way he has handled the media and the public post-exit, when he’s finally in a position to strike back without being somewhat obliged to them as part of the circumstances of his birth. I understand and sympathize with him but I just don’t think the public does, and the public matters much, much more than the perspective of one single American fan, to whom he’s never been obliged, and I simply do not think the public will afford him that same understanding, sympathy, and leniency. The public and the media are critical to his humanitarian work - his mother never realized that towards the end of her life, and I truly don’t think she would have been the martyr/saint she is perceived to be now if she had lived, because she did not know how to meet the media in the middle and eventually that started to piss people off. He’s starting to piss people off now and if it doesn’t bother him personally (which it definitely does), I don’t want it to affect his causes. The Invictus Games, Sentebale, Walking with the Wounded, WellChild, Mayhew, Smartworks, Archewell, etc. deserve better than to suffer the wrath of the media and an apathetic public because their patrons simply will not shut up lol.

I guess my point is that they will be unfairly judged (regardless, but especially due to the way they’re handling things), and I think it would suit them better in the long run if they adopted a different strategy. I really sympathize with the fact that he feels frustrated with the narrative that has been manufactured but I really, really think the narrative will only get worse and worse as he continues to go on and on about how badly his life sucks, basically. Again, I don’t deny that he struggles - we all do, some more than others, especially when there are mental health issues - but the public, to me, simply does not care. My own therapist has told me to simply stop caring about the things that I discuss with him. Not to say that they’re not relevant, important, or worthy of discussion - they absolutely are - but his point is that you cannot change people and you are wasting your energy and struggling yourself because you want to change them so, so, so badly that you’re neglecting your own self care in the process. I hate that I do it to myself and I also hate that he appears to be doing it to himself. I’m sure a lot of this conversation has been brought up in his own therapy, and I’m no professional, but I’m doing my best to heed the advice of my own therapist - which is the opposite of what Harry is doing - and it’s done wonders for me, when I actually can do it.

If there’s anything I know from this whole thing, it’s that Harry is absolutely punching above his weight, love him as I may, and that he adores, adores, adores his wife. He has chosen her from the very second she came into his life and I couldn’t want anything more for him or from her. I’m not going to lie, I would have been in this thing for any wife that Harry chose, because I was here long before Meghan specifically came into his life. However, I am glad every day that he chose her, that he loves her, that he wants to protect her, that she loves him back, that he lives the life with her that he’s wanted as long as I (and I’m sure he) can remember. I love her because he loves her, and I would have no matter what, because at the end of the day, it’s his happiness and comfort that matters to me, that has mattered to me since I discovered him and how wonderful he can be more than 7 years ago. What more could I ask of Meghan? What more, as his fan to the end (annoy me as he may), could I want for him? Who could say anything about her in that regard? If there’s anything that has come of this mess, to me, it’s that Harry loves, loves, loves his wife. I will always be happy for him and I will always be proud of him for choosing her, even if I don’t always agree with the way he goes about it.

I’m looking forward to peace, too. I cannot wait for things to just die out, for them to work things out as a couple and as a family, and for everyone to move on. The family will still do their thing and the Sussexes can do theirs, but I cannot deal with this back and forth, tit for tat, petty nonsense anymore. They’re wonderful and flawed, like the rest of them (except Andrew), and I just hope that they can all come to some kind of agreement or terms that lets this die down. It’s exhausting for everyone - themselves included. If I’m this tired, I can only imagine how tired they all are.

Thanks for stopping by, and sorry for the essay (essays, these past 24 hours lol). I really appreciate your kindness in this message, your presence in my notifications (I do see them!), your nuanced perspective and like I said before, I really, really appreciate that you own it!

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: still stalking mckenna Joe: what, we can't BOTH like music? Joe: that's gonna be problematic for me tbh Ronnie: mozarts ghost aint gonna possess him in the encore Ronnie: you can fuck off Joe: you can enjoy your night Joe: I'll take my chances Ronnie: take your chances somewhere else Ronnie: or you wont have any Joe: you looking out for me? Joe: not necessary, I promise Joe: you look like you got your hands full as is Ronnie: its a threat Ronnie: shouldnt be necessary Joe: my apologies for making you work harder but its still not cutting it Ronnie: [throws something at him in a dangerous manner watch out everyone] Ronnie: we can both be into cutting Ronnie: not a problem for me Joe: [when he's probably with his flatmate or similar like they will complain honey they basics lmao, meanwhile just like 😏] Joe: careful, people will think you care Ronnie: what fucking people Ronnie: your girlfriend Joe: for one Ronnie: muzzle your bitch or give her shit to sink her teeth into Ronnie: it aint complicated Joe: I don't think not glassing randoms is exactly rocket science either Ronnie: nothing random about you Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: you want some projection with that Joe: I found you, remember Ronnie: wasnt hiding nancy Ronnie: not still a runaway kid Joe: then don't hide Joe: I weren't looking for you, alright Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you said there aint no other bastards Joe: I meant tonight Joe: this is just coincidence, nothing more Ronnie: leave then Ronnie: your buyers remorse is about as welcome as you Joe: hardly Joe: that's not what it is either Ronnie: they were all out of shiny sisters baby Ronnie: take what you can get Joe: I've already got one of them Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: i remember Joe: you don't want a refill then Joe: replace the one you tossed Ronnie: you on the spectrum or do you not wanna read social cues Joe: well I ain't leaving either way but if you don't wanna make the most outta it Joe: 👍 Ronnie: keep putting words in my mouth & see what happens to yours like Joe: what spectrum are you on if you think that constitutes a please and thanks Ronnie: take it up with your ma Ronnie: she wasnt about to teach me how to play nice Joe: not really her forte Ronnie: thats why im still waiting for my plane ticket home yeah Joe: possibly Joe: I don't know Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: how olds your good sister Joe: jury is out on good Joe: but 14 so we'll wait and see Ronnie: ill fucking drink to that Ronnie: if she was a write off shed already be Joe: depends on your perspective Joe: I try not to have one Joe: [is at bar] Ronnie: depends on your mas Ronnie: we cant all be black sheep Joe: exactly Joe: they don't really get on Joe: but she's probably just dreading the PTSD a teen pregnancy scare will bring Ronnie: should have kept me around Joe: yeah Ronnie: 1 more abortion and your country would offer me a fucking exorcism Ronnie: fun for all the family Joe: some girls have all the luck Joe: would not believe how hard it is for a lad to get one 🙄 Joe: [just putting the drinks for 'em on their table, when Charlie probs gonna flirt with you like oh hey] Ronnie: your girlfriend will let you hold her hand for her 1st Ronnie: stop sticking it in your cello & youll knock her up in no time Ronnie: [just staring at the drink like you've never seen one before] Joe: come on, she's CoE if I've ever seen it Joe: abortions? sure, but exorcisms ❌ Joe: [tryna just walk off but you know they'd be like who are you hello?! 'cos annoying lmao] Ronnie: not in ireland anymore baby Ronnie: [when you walk off like where the fuck have you got to be my dear] Joe: [at least he's not gonna drop the bomb, just being vague af like oh we met once or whatever goodbye] Joe: you gone yourself? 🛫🍀 Ronnie: on whos 💰 Joe: idk, your pals maybe Joe: but I've fucked off so he can at least top up your drink 'cos its long gone too Ronnie: wanker Ronnie: [comes back and punches charlie love you boy] Joe: [just wait 'til you have your own mindblown with that crazy connection boy] Joe: ✊ Ronnie: [gives him the biggest fuck you look ever like I can't believe you typed that] Joe: [just loling a lil 'scuse him company its not at whatever you said] Ronnie: [comes over, ignoring everyone else obvs, to drink his entire drink and walk off again] Joe: [omg stop flirting you two, everyone like what is going on tbh] Ronnie: [dancing with charlie cos he don't take kindly to being punched but you don't wanna answer his questions either] Joe: [save it for later you nosy hoe] Ronnie: [when you see his poor flatmate going to pee and follow her intimidatingly soz bitch] Joe: [this poor girl is in no way prepared lmao] Ronnie: [thinking she's about to get mugged or murdered] Joe: [when you're 18 and its your first time away from home no doubt this poor girl honestly] Ronnie: you deffo she aint catholic Ronnie: could see her in a penguin house Joe: weren't a question on the flatmate icebreakers Joe: shoulda asked for some segregrated accomodation but thought londoners were meant to be post-religion post-everything so Ronnie: 💔 it aint god its you baby Ronnie: shes no londoner Joe: no, I do know that one Joe: she's from Kent, I think Joe: or Surrey? Ronnie: not holy holier than tho Ronnie: u Ronnie: never gonna please a horse girl mckenna Joe: 😏 Joe: I'll not go there then Ronnie: charlies fucking easy to please Ronnie: youve done the 1 drink minimum & youll avoid the pregnancy scare Joe: I think he's the one that does the pleasing Joe: so I've been assured Ronnie: gets him off dont worry like Joe: I'll sleep easy now, tah Ronnie: lullabies are shit but yeah Joe: 🤞 that ain't his encore either Ronnie: if it aint opening an artery to spray the crowd count me the fuck out Joe: I wouldn't hold your breath Joe: though might be more fun Ronnie: [dramatically holds her breath in his direction like kids do] Joe: [just watching 'cos weird and into it] Ronnie: [lowkey going purple probably because you know she won't stop til she hits the deck] Joe: [just watching 'til the last sec when you obvs gonna catch her] Ronnie: [giving him a look when he does like we have to stop meeting like this but then exposing his tattoo wherever that is cos gotta check that really happened] Joe: [I hope you didn't opt for your booty, lol, probably inner bicep moment or something 'cos not that bitch getting those out at any chance] Ronnie: [just touching it like you're not shamelessly flirting with your brother okay then] Joe: [just looking at her face hardcore 'cos you can pretend you're checking her tat too] Ronnie: [when you come back to yourself and remember you're supposed to hate him for being your brother so you push him away unnecessarily hard and retreat to your corner] Joe: [go off to the bathroom yourself boy] Ronnie: [french exit while he's gone even though it'll make Charlie more annoying] Joe: [have fun Joseph] Joe: you missed the bloodbath Ronnie: made my own Joe: safer bet Joe: on all counts Ronnie: safer for your girlfriend Ronnie: & you Joe: you know she ain't my girlfriend Ronnie: no shit you dont wanna claim that conquest Joe: wrong again Joe: not gonna bang my flatmate who pays the bigger part of the rent 'cos she gets the en-suite Joe: give me some credit Ronnie: shed give you some if you gave it up to her Ronnie: but if youd rather pay rent Joe: there's no way I can keep that going 4 years Ronnie: she aint hacking it Ronnie: you can fucking smell the homesickness Joe: its like, down the road init Joe: ugh Ronnie: & Ronnie: she cant fit her horse in the en suite baby Joe: 😂 Joe: true..I'll make some rich friends to move in when she gallops off into the sunset then Ronnie: theyll not slum it with you for 4 years Joe: but I'm so charming Joe: what's the solution then, sis? Ronnie: sell yourself or kill yourself Joe: 👌 Joe: already with ya Ronnie: yeah dead connected us Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you're the only one that's allowed to be suicidal? Ronnie: oldest cunt gets dibs Ronnie: aint that how this sibling shit plays Ronnie: whatever you wanna do ive already done it Joe: half the time Joe: but the other half is youngest gets away with it 'cos they're cuter so Ronnie: cause theyre a crybaby Ronnie: yeah you can have that soft lad Joe: 😥 bit of a prerequisite for the suicide Joe: so generous Ronnie: i left you alive so you can do yourself in Ronnie: since youve got such a boner for it Ronnie: generosity begins & ends Joe: You can stop thinking about my boners then Joe: that'll be my attempt at the virtue Ronnie: put em away Joe: you tryna expose me Ronnie: you dont need my help Ronnie: flashers keep more hidden than you Joe: really Joe: don't seem like that's something that would bother you Ronnie: youre that special mckenna Ronnie: every fucking thing you do bothers me Joe: 💘 Joe: check facebook some more, I'll keep my events up to date Joe: can avoid each other easy Ronnie: nah you see me you walk the other way Joe: I got places to be babe Ronnie: yeah a&e Ronnie: if you dont get the fuck outta my face Joe: see, you're well about it Joe: I got it, yeah, we're not family Ronnie: were nothing Ronnie: & if thats what gets you off pay for it like the other cunts do Ronnie: not my 9-5 Joe: I found Soho by myself, don't worry Joe: we're good Ronnie: boss Ronnie: stay there Joe: more expensive than Sophie's horse that Ronnie: train her up to be whatever the fuck you want then Ronnie: 4 years in she could probably kiss with tongue like Joe: you gotta ask yourself why you care Joe: 'cos I know Ronnie: i dont have to ask myself fuck all Joe: deny it then Joe: works for me Ronnie: theres no need to deny theres cunts i wanna talk to less than you Ronnie: or i that i gotta have something to do while i wait Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you're all talk Joe: say no more Ronnie: fuck you Joe: yeah fuck me Ronnie: stick your therapy speak in whatever hole you reckon can take it Ronnie: ill reverse over your head before i submit to this psychology bullshit Joe: not what I'm studying Joe: or doing Ronnie: you reckon if you say im all talk itll get you some action Ronnie: dream on motherfucker Ronnie: i dont look like her that much Joe: bold assumption Ronnie: nah Ronnie: charlies more like a brother than you & ive done everything there is to do to that tosser Joe: bold to assume I'm half as fucked up as you Joe: spent long enough telling me I can't be 'cos I got a ma and now I wanna fuck her, okay Ronnie: wearing it on your sleeve aint you though baby Ronnie: saw your arm & yeah i reckon halfs about right Ronnie: but me at 19 wouldve left you in more pieces than that Joe: you must be proud Ronnie: what the fuck of Joe: your 19 year old self Ronnie: youd have liked me better at 9 Joe: alright but a nonce joke is hardly original Ronnie: neithers wanting to fuck your ma Ronnie: read a book schoolboy Joe: that's you throwing that about Joe: not one I ask the prozzies to act out tah Ronnie: what the fuck else was your lil challenge about then Joe: what was yours? Ronnie: i didnt fire any shots shithead Joe: not true Joe: i got the 🍒 to prove it Ronnie: fuck me youre that cunt Ronnie: 1 sos & i owe you my life yeah Joe: where'd you hear that Joe: what was it, needle not clean or something Ronnie: you dont need to wait for a death that slow Ronnie: fucking do it Joe: why do you do it Ronnie: why do you give a shit what i do Joe: interesting Joe: why do you fuck with your face like that Ronnie: too late to keep it pretty for you Ronnie: should have nancy drewed this shit earlier Joe: you ain't gonna answer Joe: alright Ronnie: cant we both like pain Ronnie: is that your problem Joe: 'course Joe: no monopoly on that shit Joe: its universal, so the books say Ronnie: bullshit do you read fuck all else but sheet music Joe: not no more Joe: but i can read more than scales, like Joe: have to write essays and shit sometimes Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: save this riveting shit for your flatmates Joe: she does art Joe: dunno what the lad does, he's out his room less than me Ronnie: horse cocks out of clay like Ronnie: bet shes the professors pet Joe: 🤞 she gets in an ill-advised affair with a pervy prof Ronnie: every other repressed white bitch has done it Joe: my home is safe Joe: hooray Ronnie: til i sleuth your address Joe: then its petrol bombs and dog shit, I know Ronnie: after theres fuck all left to steal Ronnie: 🤡s in films 🔥💸 Joe: and eat six year old's arms Joe: crack on Ronnie: i aint bitten any kids since i was Joe: I'm proud even if you ain't then Ronnie: raise the bar baby Joe: guess the other lad you were with don't technically count no more Joe: actual kids are that annoying Ronnie: kids get to be annoying Joe: lucky ones Joe: the ones that get to be kids Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: youll be born & die a saint Ronnie: such a fucking martyr Joe: when God comes a calling, you can't refuse, obvs Joe: guess that's what she gets for not aborting you, nice bonus for being good Ronnie: yeah Joe: likes a joke as much as the next Joe: gutted for her Ronnie: cant take the scouse sinner out of her however much irish catholic dick shes taken since Ronnie: 💔 Joe: if its only paddys in heaven, I'll lose the invite Ronnie: you better stay in purgatory then Ronnie: dont want you in hell with me Joe: you're just jealous I'll be too busy getting tortured by some other demon Joe: you're alright, anguishing over my wrongs for eternity sounds like a bit of me Joe: I can hack it, more painful than being sodomized with pitchforks or whatever weak shit you're in store for Ronnie: wanna see your cum face even less Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: 😂 Joe: shh, you already know he's got that sick sense of humour Joe: your own clockwork orange moment for eternity now Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you ain't nothing like I thought when I was 🔎🤔 Ronnie: cheers for the romantic cliche you pussy Joe: you're that special Joe: and welcome Ronnie: what did you reckon id be like Joe: like the rest of 'em Joe: complete the cliche Ronnie: fuck off Joe: what, I did Joe: there ain't a bigger compliment, honestly Ronnie: i dont wanna hear your compliments Ronnie: or how big they are Joe: 😏 Joe: you asked Ronnie: cause i cant resist hearing how fucking soft you are Joe: that makes you pretty fucking soft yourself then don't it Ronnie: fuck you Joe: back here, yeah Ronnie: back at get someone else to knock you out Joe: shouldn't be hard Ronnie: depends how hard you are Ronnie: could be a turn on or off Joe: either way, its incentive for them to go harder Joe: can't lose, me Ronnie: enjoy yourself baby Joe: never Joe: if I lose my overwhelming urge to die what have I got Ronnie: new overwhelming urges Joe: won't be that good Ronnie: write it in your diary i didnt ask for your review Joe: you can do that you know Joe: they've all got profiles, like they're a shit local pub or something Ronnie: what a fucking state Joe: won't miss it when I'm in pugatory Ronnie: if i had a shot for every time you cried your eyes out id miss that Joe: you'd miss having a liver Joe: and functioning braincell Ronnie: didnt mean that kind of shot shithead Joe: your aim is for shit, true Ronnie: or that one Joe: ahh Ronnie: you had me at dirty needles 💘 Joe: s'worth being alive for, then? Ronnie: what the fuck waste of a question is that Joe: why? Ronnie: what do you think Joe: reason I'm asking Joe: if its just another slow way to kill yourself then I'm sound but if its more than that then its a potential for the repertoire Ronnie: if it was id have taken a faster way out Joe: its noted Ronnie: why do you wanna die Joe: its not even Joe: I ain't actually sad, soz to burst your 😥 bubble, IOU some shots, whatever Joe: just wanna turn my head off, not have to participate Joe: deal with any of it Joe: but saying you wanna be put in a coma doesn't quite have the same punch Ronnie: underline that note then Joe: yeah? Joe: not like I've never thought about it Joe: think about it a lot, hence the need for a fucking switch Joe: how cliche to look like I'm doing it to spite her though, eh? Ronnie: whatever you take now thats strawberry flavoured childhood bullshit Ronnie: youve found your prescribed dose of working adult medicine Joe: it don't touch it, not worth taking unless you wanna down half a blister at a time and have a decent kip Joe: get me some and I'll pay you 20% for your trouble Ronnie: come over Ronnie: told you im waiting Joe: alright Joe: if I ask for your current location do I give away that I'm not a decent stalker Ronnie: youve fucking shown that card bitch Joe: figured Joe: be obliging then Ronnie: [a location of who the fuck knows where cos we don't need Charlie or Bronson there for this excuse you lads] Joe: [when you need some privacy for your bonding] Ronnie: [when you need some privacy to shoot up your half brother who you ain't even told your other fam about] Joe: [fun and games] Joe: cool Joe: 🤞 i'm there just after the heroin Ronnie: get here before or ill be in no state to keep obliging you Joe: I'm yet to be initiated, my timekeeping skills are 🔥 Ronnie: give a shit about your cv Joe: I'll be there Ronnie: your loss if you aint Ronnie: dont come crying to me Ronnie: i wont hear it for fucking ages Joe: i'm not an idiot Ronnie: it dont matter who or what you are Ronnie: stopped listening after the ill be there Joe: 💘 Ronnie: get it tattooed next yeah Joe: yeah Ronnie: over the real fucker Ronnie: cause you love a cliche Joe: 'course Joe: have to find another dickhead with a gun though Joe: that one did not know his left from his right Ronnie: get what you pay for baby Ronnie: & we didnt Joe: touche Joe: I'll forgo accuracy for that Joe: and the dirty needle, obvs Ronnie: getting to put his hand on my tit will blow the brains he has like Joe: 😏 Ronnie: but if i toss him off thatll get shit back on track Joe: hot Joe: love that you have a plan Ronnie: cute Ronnie: you reckoning im pure chaos Ronnie: not your manic pixie dream skank Joe: ain't planning on being a composer Joe: least not now Joe: don't need to write about you Ronnie: 💔 Joe: make up your mind Ronnie: you aint on my mind mckenna Ronnie: dont get your balls in a twist Joe: do you wanna be on mine or not Ronnie: i know whats on yours Joe: same Joe: makes a change Ronnie: compose a song about your confusion then like Joe: less cliche than a love song Joe: still Ronnie: do it from the pov of the horse Ronnie: be a hit with your flatmate Joe: you just wanna get me stalked Joe: paybacks a bitch, yeah Ronnie: wanna get your habit paid for before you start it Ronnie: throw her a boner Ronnie: whats the fucking drama Joe: i don't fancy her Joe: nor having the convo about where all her moneys going Ronnie: & Ronnie: i dont fancy the cunt with the tattoo gun Ronnie: got fuck all to do with it Joe: & Joe: you're lowering standards, not getting anything up Ronnie: close your eyes & think of gear Ronnie: youll do anything for a horse like that Joe: let me try it first Ronnie: dont need to hear about your trust issues baby Joe: better stop talking now then Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: shut the fuck up Joe: [you know when its like 'removed message' that] Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what Ronnie: i cant cut your sense of humour out Ronnie: cant live with it Joe: no funny business Joe: just a buttdial Ronnie: charlie aint here but adorable that you 2 homos hit it off Joe: just scousers gotta stick together or did you know him from back home Ronnie: he didnt give you the rundown Ronnie: mustve made him speechless mckenna Joe: too busy trying to work out how I knew you Ronnie: we grew up together Ronnie: & the mime standing next to us Joe: cool Ronnie: nah Ronnie: fucked Joe: I mean that you still know 'em, talk to 'em Ronnie: we aint trying to throw our family away for a new one Joe: like I said, s'cool Ronnie: like i said hes gonna eat that shit up Ronnie: you fawning over his family set up Joe: good to know Joe: not really my type either, call me fussy Ronnie: fucks sake Ronnie: join the god squad now & save yourself the 12 steps Joe: 'cos I don't wanna do a bloke or my horse girl roommate Ronnie: cause you only wanna do your ma Joe: you can't just give me dud options and come to that conclusion Ronnie: we playing fuck marry kill now Joe: not playing nothing with you Joe: cheater Ronnie: crybaby Joe: you'll 😥 when I have to kill your mate Ronnie: you wish Joe: making people cry is your thing Joe: I don't need to fight that claim Ronnie: like you aint been wanting to save me again since the 1st time Ronnie: thats your thing yeah Joe: save you from what? Joe: smack? obviously not Joe: other self-destructive tendencies? try again Ronnie: it obviously dont matter Ronnie: id never seen you & id still never seen a cunt more excited to do a rescue Joe: and I'd never seen you Joe: maybe you'd got all kinds of fucked up 'cos of all the shit I dragged up Joe: basic decency ain't nothing to get excited about Ronnie: i know how to self soothe im a big girl now Joe: didn't need you self-soothing yourself to death on my conscience Ronnie: didnt ask you to give a shit Ronnie: catholic guilts best left at home baby Ronnie: youll never find a place with the cockneys Joe: about myself? Joe: its barely but hanging on by a thread Joe: soz Joe: dead girls fuck you up Ronnie: not your type either then Joe: ultimate type Joe: don't wanna commit right now, tah Ronnie: 🤞 i od & you can finally sort your misery boner out Joe: too giving you Ronnie: im dead i aint giving a shit Joe: put that on the headstone Ronnie: pay for it you write whatever cliche you want Joe: you want a classy picture affair Joe: got it Ronnie: stop getting me Ronnie: it makes me wanna blow my brains out Joe: its obvious you wanna be seen Joe: no spooky sibling connection required Ronnie: fuck off Joe: what's better than ruining a graveyards ambiance for the mourners for the forseeable Ronnie: theres no room in the ground soft lad Joe: they just chuck you in with the old bones Joe: or 'move' them Ronnie: hot Joe: mhmm Joe: plague pit is the way to go Ronnie: fit the horse & the girl Ronnie: how fucking romantic Joe: that's me Ronnie: ill put john in the 💘 for you baby Ronnie: your ma robbed you blind of so many lennon comparisons Joe: still time to be pretentious with soph Joe: fuck off getting out of bed for good Ronnie: smother her with a pillow & fuck her corpse youll be feeling peace & love Joe: 💎🍓💘 Ronnie: playing with emojis & yourself aint getting you here Ronnie: hurry up Joe: can't make you any closer Ronnie: 💔

[rsmrymnt-tea]

You're a 1.5 intimidating!! The .5 is because sometimes I get a little nervous you won't like my ideas :((

But you are actually very lovely and creative!! I can't really believe people find you intimidating!!

(your bunny!Dola's oml!!! Y'know in surprise guest when you do a good interact and the hearts come off the character?? That's me looking at her!! I don't think I've seen anyone do long skirts with their bunny babe yet?? But it works so well for Dola!!

And I'm making a cardigan for a family friend. The pattern is really simple and repetitive so the hardest part is just the way I'm alternating different colours. I've never made clothes for someone outside of my immediate family though so that's kinda scary 😬

Very excited for the Dola content to come!!! I was actually thinking about all the work you put into them the other day. If I try to think about an OC for more than an hour I get bored or I start hating them akdjskd. "Trust the process" but I hate the processsss 😭. Very glad you've been able to put so much work into Dola though!! She has my heart tbh!!)

- 🐝

Ksjdhskjd 🐝 nonnie!! I feel like there hasn’t been a single idea of yours that I didn’t like??? Like honestly at this point I have to credit you for half the stuff I’m gonna put in the TSL AU once I get the time and brainspace to think about it and make stuff on it >.>;;

And hdkghf thank you!! But truthfully I understand why people find me intimidating irl, at least on first impression? I don’t vibe like I’m friendly until I smile and I’m a little confrontational >.>;; (Also there’s… there’s a reason why I really, really relate Satan and his efforts to be more than anger dhdfkjghkdfjhjk)

Sbjvhd and thank you!! Goodness dfjsdf I’m so flattered Dola gets that reaction out of you ;w; Also honestly I don’t recall any either, though I’m sure I’ve seen at least one… The trend I’ve noticed is usually shorts and/or skirts but Dola doesn’t like showing leg lol

A whole cardigan tho!! That’s like… Way beyond my patience, so cool that you can stick with it even if it’s fairly straightforward. I think the most i’ve ever crocheted was a coaster? Also I’m sure your family friend’s gonna love what you’ll make!! What’s more heartwarming than a handmade garment? Fully custom made and unique as well :0

She has your heart ;w; ;w; ;w; You’re killing me, nonnie, my goodness 😭 Tbh I feel like I’d have lost interest in OM if it weren’t for Dola dshkgjhsd like whenever I play lessons or events my first thought’s always ‘so how’s this gonna go for Dola?’ because if I had to stick to just canon MC + game canon I’d be long gone already >.> And honestly the longer I’ve thought about her the more attached I get and the more I don’t shut up about her sfgkjgh

(I’m actually genuinely at a point where I don’t think I can or even want to write for a general unnamed gn!MC anymore? I used to want to write about Dola through a gn!MC using you/they pronouns out of insecurity and the urge to people please (since we all know that generally, named MC content gets a lot less attention than unnamed MC) but now I think I’m fully OC-only if there’s going to be an MC in my writing >.< I just have to fucking finish something I can actually post dghkjdfgh)

[shslpunkartist]

Oops

We all have a vague idea on how shitty Morgana's life is normally. Let's see how shitty it is in the Punk Demon!AU, shall we?

(Also sorry in advance. I was in a mood when I thought of this, but tbh, I had an idea that their life would be bad before this)

Warning: abuse, small mention of self harm. Also pretty spoiler-y of Magnet for Danger Part 2

After the events of the shooting, Otis was sought out by the higher ups, and was tested for his strength and devotion. The reason for this is because a few realized that it was Pico who was able to take down the corrupted angels, specifically weapons that he got from already dead soldiers within the school. That strength was admirable, but since Pico fell, they went to see if he had other family members that could do the same, thus Otis getting recruited.

Otis was convinced to train for the higher ups in order to stop future incidents from happening, if they were to happen at all. He didn't want the chance for anything else to hurt his family, so he agreed. A few years in training, and Otis became one of the elite officers in the Holy Society, able to secure order and law by himself. He's even been able to go to the Human society to deal with any hidden demons that attempted to attack the Holy society before.

Now, the same thing happened to regular Morgana, and that's they suffer from schiznophrenia as well, being able to hear Pico's cries and see fire burning everything around them, so they had to live with Otis to get away from it. The higher ups tried to get Morgana into training as well, but both Otis and their mother refused this, claiming it's too dangerous, and they're still recovering from the incident.

What drove Otis to go to the Human society to try and locate Pico was because of a friend, who was able to tell an angel's whereabouts through a broken item of theirs. That person was Olivia (oooo~!) On the anniversary of that day, Otis decided to give her a piece of Pico's burnt sweater, which was the only thing saved from the incident, just to see if she could find anything. Surprisingly enough, she did! Olivia began crying from the pain that Pico has felt, and she had explained to Otis that he's alive in the Human world, but he doesn't seem to be a full angel anymore. She can't pinpoint it, but she can sense immense pain and darkness now.. but he's alive. That's when Otis begged his officials to let him explore the Human world for his cousin, since he's been such an outstanding elite for them.

They let him go, under one condition: Morgana has to be under their care while he's gone.

They won't train them to be an officer, but they'd still watch over them, claiming they are too young to live on their own. Seemingly not having a choice, Otis agreed, thus having Morgana live in an institute for the time being. Otis didn't tell Morgana that Pico was alive, as he didn't want to get the other's hopes up if he came back empty handed, but he vagued that he would find information about him, and he'll be back soon. Morgana hesitated, but they also agreed, and let Otis search for the fallen angel.

It should've been ok. It should've. But it wasn't.

The institute was so much more stricter than Morgana has ever been in. They weren't allowed outside without supervision, they weren't allowed more care than needed, they had to study and be tested for what they knew, and they were only allowed a phone call when Otis called first. It essentially felt like prison, despite looking so much nicer and well kempt than an actual prison. If they did anything "wrong" or were too slow in handling a task, they were "disciplined": cursed, starved, locked in their room, the list goes on. The only thing they DIDN'T do was beat, and that's because that would leave a visible wound.

It became so painful, they tried to escape, but all it did was force a curse mark on his ankles; if they ran too far from the institute, the mark will burn their ankles, until it sliced through, cutting their feet off. They tried to go throught the pain twice, but it became too much to bare, so they were forced back inside. The marks would disappear when Otis came back. Nobody would tell Otis about the treatment, even Morgana, who was too afraid to "speak out of turn".

The only visible pain that Otis was were Morgana's wings. They would pull and yank on their feathers, trying to forget the mental pain with a physical one. Essentially self harm. They now look tattered and broken, so Morgana would hide them within their back to avoid concern. When Otis went to his officials and asked about it, they claimed it was out of stress from being alone for too long, and that Otis should give up on this pointless search. The darkness that's within Pico may have something to do with demons, so it can very well mean that he converted to their way of life. Otis didn't want to believe this, but it also convinced him more to find his cousin, to save him.

Otis left twice. This is his third time down (and his last chance to find Pico). When he walked over to the portal that would send him down, Morgana mentally begged him not to go, stay here, don't leave him with THEM. When Otis entered and looked back with a comforting smile, Morgana tried to run in with him, but it closed off before they could go through. Otis noticed this and wanted to go back to see why Morgana looked so afraid, but time was already ticking. He had to come back with results, for Morgana's sake..

There was once that OLIVIA went to check on Morgana, not out of Otis' request, but because she felt something off from afar. They hadn't planned to have her see Morgana, but it was too late, when the teen cried at their "caretaker" not to punish them again. She rushed inside to hug them, tears immediately falling from how much pain she sensed from them. She demanded an answer, but she was only met with a slam to the wall, knocking her out instantly. Morgana immediately ran to her and begged them not to hurt her. They'll accept whatever punishment for them, they'll do whatever they want, just don't hurt her! With that, they wiped her memory of ever coming here and took her back home, before going through with Morgana's bargain.

Why would the institute do all this to begin with? Because Morgana was "defective". You're an Angel; you're not supposed to have mental issues. You're supposed to be a perfect and pure being that the Humans looked up to. What kind of human would feel safe and at peace with a depressed angel that heard screaming and saw fire? Your depression is having you fail your classes, making you lose focus in basic tasks, making you cry over something that isn't there anymore.. it's a spit in the face to the Lord itself! You need to be fixed into a perfect angel, and we will do whatever it takes to make it happen. Don't do bad things, nor do things the wrong way, and you'll be "saved".

[pastelfillings]

So this, made me cry today; in a public place

(Last convo was 3 July, 6:03)

Wednesday, August 9, 2017 9:15 AM

Alyssa: Chang. Kamusta ka na ;~;

Alyssa: Are you mad at me? ;;;;;

Alyssa: If ever. huhu.

Alyssa: I was always out, kinda using some time to travel because I'm starting to work and go to school at the same time this winter ;;;; i already started to work too 3

Alyssa: adulting tho 3

Monday, August 14, 2017 8:32 AM

Alyssa: sapaka nako sige na

8:57 AM

Me: Sorry chang. I felt bad man not replying to you. Maybe bc I miss you so much and gaka frustrate ko kay everytime may ishare ko simo, you're there but nowhere to reply. I know you're busy with your own life and a lot of things is happening. But I can't help it when you're my only friend and we're kinda drifting apart. This is what I feared most sang manug lakat kana, bc somehow, I know sang time na naghambal ka "we'll drop messages always" it will change eventually. Instead of talking everyday, it will be during birthdays or occasions nalang. And it sucks. Bc I miss you so much and everything reminds me of you here and I'm stuck with nothing but this feeling nga na init ko bc I wanted to talk to you so much on everything that's been happening but I can't bc timezone, lovelife, family, school, work and whatnot. Even dropping you messages wont matter that much bc during gaka tabo ang certain event na full of emotions pako, the moment you'll reply wala na ang same feels na gaka batyagan the moment I messaged you. Na init ko kag nasubuan kay ndi ko ma control kag ka frustrating at the same time na lipay man ko kada mag popup ngalan mo sa messenger kay feeling ko finally naka have time kana man gd sakon. It sounds pathetic and possessive but what can I do if you're the only friend that I have and you live on the other side of the globe. The thought nga you have some time to post something and not reply sakon makes me even sadder. But na inchindihan ko man the moment I opened this up sa migo ko, telling how I felt. Hambal ya, lain ang consciousness whenever you post something and the moment mag reply ka to someone takes a lot of thought na kelangan mo gd maminsar and such. Idk chang. Nainit ko sa kaugalingon ko for feeling this way and I cant help it bc maybe the moment magbasa kani, you'll finally have time to reply. And soon, eventually you wont anymore.

Alyssa: No, yeah. I understand where you're coming from. Tbh, hindi man lang ikaw nag hambal sina. Damo ko friends nga daw gakadulaan nagd ko contact because of timezone kag ang life. Esp now I work fulltime na din tapos skwela man. So bisan temprano ko gagwa, I always get home super late na. 😔 I couldn't really reply to messages lately too bcos of that pero amo na eh, I'm trying to these days because I miss everyone too. Posting is the only thing I could do sa IG. Bcos it just takes a minute of my time and its done ykno. I feel bad din kasi starting a convo tapos hindi ko matapos, if you know what I mean. Tbh I could only like talk to Hanna everyday kay pwerti man sa daan makapulaw kag super message sa sakon pero dugayan mn ko makareply eh 💔 I couldnt even make time for my parents and wala nakami mayo kitaay miguhon kay aga akon shift sa ubra then iya ya evening shift. Like, 9-5pm ako then siya ya 4-12am. So when he gets home, sleep nako tapos if I'm up sa morning sleep pa sa. Feels like I'm bad at juggling stuffs altogether. Hays. I'm sorry kung amo na napa feel ko saimo pero you're always in my thoughts and it makes me happy seeing you bisan sa IG lg. I'm sorry if amo ni natabo. Pero I hope you won't think that I don't feel the same anymore because you're still super important to me. 😭 Budlayan man ko magcommunicate these days but I will always have your back.