#so Shannon if you’re reading this - you’re a nerd and you ruined my fun time essays to also be taken seriously

[singing-robot]

re: Dead Cells/Undertale

And why it would be the worst crossover ever. 

First off, I have not finished Dead Cells, and I’m trying to play it as blindly as possible, so please do not add anything further than what I mention right here in this post!!! This includes tips, runes, locations, and unseen dialogue. I’ve recently acquired my first stem cell, and have only gotten to the Concierge once in the many games I’ve started in hard mode, sodo please be mindful of that. And now, the promised content. 

This started off as a fun mashup between the two games, but the realistic side of my brain kicked in and said, “How would this actually go?” And, quite honestly, that one seemed more interesting, both in terms of how this hypothetical game would be played (I wish I could show you guys instead of just talking about it), and in the potential angst that would be held. 

The first thing I feel we need to address is how the game starts. Dead Cellsman (as I so often see him called) has a beheaded prisoner to crawl into each time you start over. Who is supplying these? I have no idea. However, I’m going to say that these bodies are either thrown down there by the same being each time you start, or Mr. Prisoner Sir finds his ride off-screen, and we only see him fall down. 

“But Robot!” you cry. “That’s so unnecessary and specific!!! Why would you bring that up?” Good question!! Because the alternative is diggging his way underground and taking over the dead body of the first fallen human. Only works once, and that’s so horrifying and disgusting that I immediately hated it as soon as I considered it, and wished I never had. The concept of eventually unlocking the other previous humans would be pretty cool if they weren’t, you know, way past their expiration date. 

Disgusting and terrible, but I needed to address it. Next section: actual fighting. 

Mr. Cellsman does not have the time for extensive dialogue and conversations. He’s thrown into prison, given a couple of weapons, and his tutorial covers a total of maybe 20 seconds between three deaths. Everything after that is a line of destruction and occasional smart remarks about something poorly lit by a blue candle. A speedrunning, monster-hacking, hilt-happy creature does not bode well for the residents of the Underground. 

He does not have much sympathy for the dead, and he criticizes those in charge of the living. I don’t blame him, honestly, but it makes me wonder how he would react to something that begged when he’s already supposed to kill it. Or if he would even give them time to do so. For the purposes of this post, he doesn’t. He sees it, he hacks it, he gains whatever coin they had on their person. All things considered, I’d say he would start off with a fairly high Level of Violence, so it would be much easier to go through the game. 

The boss fights would be very interesting. Toriel wouldn’t have any sort of connection as to a child, and would not hold back during her fight. I almost want to see it. The dogs would be the equivalent of Elites, probably. Papyrus would be absolute hell to fight, with his constant ground attacks; not to mention that you’re supposed to hit him in the middle of all of it. He’ll make it a fair fight, of course, but according to even Dead Cells logic, he will be on par with you. I think Undyne would be very similar to the Time Keeper, except you couldn’t simply break out of her hold. 

I did this in my sketchbook and I’m so glad I can make it again with real context.

To be fair, I’ve only gotten as far as Undyne, so I won’t go much farther on that topic, except on the specifics of the next section dealing with Sans, since I won’t ever play that run, anyway. (So, basically, I lied.) 

Encountering Sans at the end would be... very frustrating, to say the least. Either his fight would be very similar to the Hand of the King, or he would simply disappear every time you tried to hit him, until you figure out that there’s actually a secret passage to bypass him entirely and you’ve wasted so much time, there goes your speedrunning record. The difference here might actually count on either the time it took you to get to the end, or how thoroughly you took out the monster population. (He would probably deal more damage than Frisk ever could; getting held up so often allowed for more people to escape.) 

Wow. So. Here we are. Are you still reading this? Have you done this all in one big chunk? Please take a moment to look away from your screen, stretch, and do five real good blinks. Take in a deep breath and hold it. Hold it. A little longer. And out. Yeah, man. Breathe some of the outside stuff, too, for bonus refreshment. Maybe get some water while we’re here. This post is a little long, might as well add in a break time paragraph. I’m certainly using it as a time to stop writing, before I get into the next segment and lose 30 more minutes. Also??? Thanks for sticking through this far, it really means a lot. Especially since I haven’t edited a single bit of this so far, and probably won’t from this point on. 

All right!!! Have you stretched? Have you had some water? Did you take a big whiff of your surroundings so as to not get too lost in the sauce of this crazy post? I hope so, pal, because here comes the fun part: The Aftermath. 

When you fight Sans, he makes his accusation: you’re the anomaly in his research, and you need to be stopped. But here’s the thing: he doesn’t say that on nothing. He says that in almost full confidence, and suspected it in other runs. What gives you away? Not entirely sure, but I bet defeating the Captain of the Royal Guard without dying, or openly having zero interest in things that should be interesting, hints at it. And unless something is lit by a blue candle or offers the promise of cells and upgraded weapons, Dead Cellsman has very little interest in anything at all. 

So you could imagine that someone speedrunning through the Underground, killing everyone in his path while hardly stopping to glance at the scenery, would be waving a big red “time anomaly” flag. And if Sans managed to evade him until the end, and even had the time to overcome any shock and actually do something, that would be one horrible, inescapable fight. 

Here’s where my idea splits in two: 

1. Sans dies. You receive a special item to take out Asgore in one hit, you win, you finish the game. There is... little point in restarting it, because I’m logical and boring and the remaining monsters of the Underground wouldn’t come out of hiding for... a very long time. Longer than it’d be worth Mr. Cellsman to consider coming back for. 

So when Frisk falls, there is nothing and nobody. The place is a little dusty, a little bloody, there’s a few spare coins on the ground, but everything is utterly abandoned. The towns, the stores, the homes you can’t explore, anyway; they’re empty. It’d make for a boring game, honestly. There’s Flowey, but he’s so distracted by recent events that he doesn’t even show up when you first fall. There’s not point in “kill or be killed” when there’s no one around to fight you. He’ll talk to you, sure, but because you’re another entertaining attraction. Your SOUL would be great, but what’s the point if the others are almost completely inaccessible, now? 

Perhaps he’ll tell you the tale of the genocidal killing spree he witnessed for fun. 

2. (This ending applies to ones with and without a Sans fight, with or without total monster destruction.) Not to add another angst story featuring the Sans man, bUT... Sans does not die. You get past him, you take out Asgore, you win the game, whatever. You get to move on.

And Sans was wrong. Nothing resets. He thought he was right, he was so positive, but here he is. And there are so many people who are dead. It must be hard to deal with, when he hardly has anyone to blame it on. He can’t even curse the murderer to his face. So imagine what it must be like to watch another monster kill so many of its own kind, only to have a human fall after that. The creature that banished them all underground is now here to either finish them off or send them to the Surface, but I doubt anyone thinks it’s the latter. The angel has returned to free them all.

I accidentally made a super metal and symbolic image to go with this, I will post it separately because, holy cow, did not expect it to turn out like this. 

Frisk has to face the most scared, enraged, and depressed monsters they could ever have encountered. Some of them will attack as viciously as they can. Others will beg for mercy, or run as quickly as possible. More will just wait, confused and perhaps upset if they are spared. There will be some who are simply NPCs, as per usual, but they will be very different. There will be fewer. Frisk’s mission to save monsters and encourage their character development will be vastly different and very difficult. 

I... made the mistake of waiting over 24 hours to type out the second half of this and lost some of the steam I started with, but I’m also bad at simply describing how bleak and depressing it would be without getting too much into it. So!!! To conclude, a semi-realistic Dead Cells/Undertale crossover would be extremely sad and depressing, since it’s basically coming in on the aftermath of almost-genocide. I will definitely accept further questions and, possibly, requests regarding this post, especially since you actually read through the entire thing and endured through everything in this post even after my enthusiasm died down in my writing. Sorry to disappoint after hyping up The Aftermath, but I was writing that at midnight and probably lost some of my good points. Definitely had a better version in my head. 

I also super ignored almost everything involving Flowey for Mr. Prisoner Sir because uhhh I didn’t want to write around that too much, so please don’t call me out on it because I definitely am aware of it and only have weak justifications for doing so. And, since we’re both here, 

UnderCells - a little catchy, I like it, but it sounds like the main story itself would be focusing on Dead Cellsman going through the Underground. While it would, to an extent, ignoring Frisk’s presence would simply make it a new level and brief one shot thing for the man. I really like the sound of it, though. 

DeadTale - far more appropriate for Frisk’s leg of the journey (as well as all of monsterkind), kinda funny in a sick sort of way, definitely used somewhere else. 

It doesn’t matter if you use either of these terms, I thought I’d address it since it’s already a super long post :’D

You made it to the end!!! Congratulations!!! 

[andimackfaneditsss]

Get to Know the Friendom Tag

i was tagged by @the-suitelife-of-disneychannel and @thesubtextmachine :)  This is coming out a little late because I’ve been preoccupied with Carmilla Series updating everybody as they film the movie but since I am also a HUGE fan of Andi Mack I thought it deserved my attention again, too. Especially since there’s going to finally be a new episode tonight!!

Favorite Andi Mack character

I said it before and I’ll say it again, Buffy IS me when I was a kid and even now. (Actually what I said was that I relate to her, but still.) I am the type to get competitive over even the littlest of things if someone so much as jokingly mentions a challenge over - say, finishing a bottle of water in under 2 minutes. You might be kidding, but I can assure you I AM NOT. A challenge is always accepted. I feel like I sometimes make my life one of those 5Gum commercials. I’m that competitive over literally everything. I am just so extra. But Buffy isn’t my fave character because she has this flaw, I love her because she’s struggling to see how this can be a bad thing - how it’s even a flaw. I was the same way when I was a kid. I didn’t understand how being this way can alter your reality, making you feel like you’re the only one who knows how to play the game and people need you to win and if they think different then hope they learn their lesson when they lose. Not wishing for them to lose, but actually believing they will by not having you there to win for them. I’ve grown, I’ve learned, I keep it in check now. But I still remember the times I didn’t have it in check which made me grow into a different person eventually because I realized I was ruining every game by trying to be the best in it instead of just having fun w/ friends and family. The mentality of a person this competitive is you think you’re the star of the show, which I think is an awesome belief to give a secondary character because it makes them an actual person: our friends and family may be secondary to our story but they have a story, too, and in that one WE are secondary. It’s - like with everything else in Andi Mack so far - very real. I can’t wait to see Buffy recognize her flaw and not necessarily “overcome” it but learn to channel it to be a better team player, not a player better than the team.

Is that your all-time favorite? If not, then list that here:

I don’t think I can pick just one character like I can a ship (hollstein 4ever!!) but I’ll try to name a few all-time faves at the top of my head (and from the bottom of my heart):

Laura Hollis (Carmilla Series) REASON: because like Buffy Driscoll, Laura is flawed and driven and real. There are missing girls at her University and her new roommate who turns out to be a vampire and has been assigned the same room because the school doesn’t even bat an eyelash at Laura’s former roommate having just up-and-vanished, may actually have ties to what’s been going on but no actual knowledge of what’s really happening. She believes because she’s the only one who cares enough to not let the weirdness and everything absolute sketch slip under the radar, she’s the only one who can do anything about it. She cares way too much about everyone, so much so that she forgets to remember (really think about) who she can trust. But she would willingly give her life for every friend that has ever walked into/out of her life simply because she just loves people and cares so much about everybody. Even hardcore villains who she definitely needed to kill - she still feels bad about killing them, despite the fact they would smile at the sound of murder they organized. She’s flawed but freaking inspiring!

Buffy Driscoll (Andi Mack) REASON: read my answer to the first question of this tag.

Wilson Kirsch (Carmilla Series) REASON: he’s a freaking puppy who doesn’t deserve what he’s been through when all he’s ever wanted was a bro! He just needs a really good friend and I wish I could jump through my screen and wrap him in a hug.

Benny Weir (My Babysitter’s a Vampire) REASON: he may have caused a lot of trouble because the world allowed a HUGE nerd to have magical powers - so what did it think was going to come of that?! But - but - but, he was also the solution to fixing the trouble almost 90% of the time. He’s flawed, just like many characters I love, but he’s a dork who just wants to live out his dreams of being a wizard and - accidentally raises the evil dead pets of the entire neighborhood in the process of trying to win over a girl through his newfound abilities. And he’s there for his friends, and if that calls for enchanting a cologne to be a love potion for his best bud to finally win over his hot babysitter (sounds weird but I promise if you watch the show it’s not what you think) - then he’ll do it!

And now for some honorable mentions I’m compiling them because if I go on and on explaining why I love these characters then this post will be longer than I intend for it to be: Matska Belmonde (Carmilla Series), Melanippe Callis (Carmilla Series), Theo Straka (Carmilla Series), Cyrus Goodman (Andi Mack), Andi Mack (Andi Mack), Bex Mack (Andi Mack), Daphne Diaz (Stuck In The Middle), Georgie Diaz (Stuck In The Middle), Riku Harada (D.N.Angel), and to end this list Kaori Fujimiya (One Week Friends).

Favorite Andi Mack cast member?

Probably Joshua Rush atm, but then I’ve seen some pretty funny tweets from Lilan Bowden. So...maybe Lilan? How ‘bout I break the rules and - just kidding! I’ll pick one... Definitely Lilan. Sorry Josh!

All-time favorite cast member? If not, list them:

Elise Bauman! She seems so cool to work with, very fun and chill. Must be all the yoga.

Honorable mentions ofc: Natasha Negovanlis, Shannon Kook, Kaitlyn Alexander, Kira Kosarin, Matt O’ Connor, Chloe Grace Moretz, Atticus Mitchell, Lia Marie Johnson, Allison Scagliotti, and to end this list Jeremy Shada.

Original reaction to the show:

I was excited to see more Asian rep, for sure! But I seriously thought the BIG secret was that Bex “her older sister” would be moving back home and that that would stir up some fun adventures and trouble. I was utterly shocked - just, in literal tears when the reveal happened. It hooked me. I’d never seen that sort of story-line on a Disney Channel show. I was sure it’d be something different, pure and at the same time mature, and THAT interested me. Yes, the fact there’s no laugh track is the same reason I loved My Babysitter’s a Vampire, why I love Stuck In The Middle, but that was just the cherry on top of the wonderful eye-catching rainbow shimmering unicorn cake this show was going to be...and is!

Current reaction to the show:

It’s slowly developing the characters a bit more - which is always great - and teasing out more issues that can potentially be fully brought to light and commented on (hopefully) in the next season, because I really wish they talked more on the issues with Buffy. Her hair being “too big”: it could have been said that that was a little bit racist that comment right there? And how about how Buffy was concerned with who said she “wasn’t girly” and why she was so bent on helping Cyrus become “2.Bro”? Yes she’s my fave character from the show but I’m saying this also because I don’t want them to be bold enough to shout into the void, silencing the crowd, and then shrink into the dark shadows of the corner behind them not wanting to go on with their groundbreaking statement. These are real issues that can be deeper analyzed but I get that they are kids and kids often don’t think about a problem facing them philosophically but rather directly. So to them it was just, “What? How can that even be possible? Hair too big? Huh?” I just hope they go deeper next season, just a leetle bit deeper is all I’m asking. But it’s getting better and I still very much like it, and the Friendom. I also just have one more request: CAN ANDI PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP FINALLY CALL BEX HER MOM LIKE CAN THEY JUST HAVE A REALLY NICE BONDING MOMENT AND ANDI JUST SMILES TO HERSELF BEFORE SURPRISING BEX WITH A “NIGHT, MOM” OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT PLEASE?!

Favorite Andi Mack plot line(s):

The kids’ lives away from school most definitely, but that isn’t just one plot line. Andi’s sister is actually her mom and her mom is actually her grandmother, Cyrus’s parents are divorced shrinks who both remarried shrinks, Buffy’s mom is overseas. Not gonna lie I will be a tad disappointed (okay a whole lot) if we don’t get to see a really touching moment where Buffy’s mom just shows up at their doorstep, finally home; if Cyrus’s gossip shrink of a mom doesn’t have consequences for gossiping to everyone about her clients’ private lives and has to look for a new job (could that even happen?); if Bex doesn’t become a total “mom” over the kids and just steps back one day and is like “oh wow I’m asking all of them how school was and cutting crust off of two sandwiches out of the three I made because Buffy likes the crust on - wait what?” And I don’t even know why I really want to see this happen but I really want to see this happen: Andi’s, Buffy’s, and Cyrus’s parents all coming together to hang out and eventually become friends. I just feel like Bowie will return and when he does, he and Bex should have friends their own age to go out on the weekends with. Maybe that’s just me tho...

Least Favorite Andi Mack character:

It’s waaaaaaaaay too easy to say Tiffany (Amber), and it’d also be a little lazy at this point. She’s so clearly meant to be the antagonist. It’s the only character they gave us to hate... Or is it? My least fave Andi Mack character is (I’m sorry to all the shippers out there who see him with Buffy or to anyone who just likes this character) Marty from the Party. Look, he was pretty sexist in the episode “She Said, She Said” where Buffy was happily surprised to find out she was the fastest in track and then he followed that up w/ “fastest girl” and said “by a minor biological reality” that men and women were not created equal and how the fastest woman would never beat the fastest man. I’m normally not one to jump up at these remarks and go “AAAAAAAAAHHHHH SEXISM!!!!1!!″ however the way they ended that subplot with us just seeing them take off in another random race Buffy initiated and then cutting away entirely before we get to see who wins that time? I didn’t get much closure. And I also feel that witty banter and slight sexist remarks aside, Marty just needs to be developed more. So he’s my least fave Andi Mack character rn atm. I don’t hate him I just like him the least.

All-time least favorite character? If not, list them here:

We’ll be here all day (maybe all year long) if I delve too deep into my all-time least fave characters. So, some more honorable - or, infamous? mentions: The Dean, Baron Vordenberg, and Theo Straka (i know he’s also one of my fave characters but that’s because he’s such a good villain it’s hard not to love that he exists, I mean he’s not even a vampire himself and yet he’s so evil) (Carmilla Series), President Snow, Gale Hawthorne, and President Coin (The Hunger Games), The Vampire Council (My Babysitter’s a Vampire), Mark Jefferson (Life Is Strange), and finally to end this list Victor Alvarez (Netflix’s Original Sitcom One Day at a Time).

Upcoming Andi Mack episodes I’m worried about:

A couple of things. Not so much the episodes because as a whole they’re always good, but I am worried about developments within each episode...ones yet-to-be-aired and ones yet-to-be-filmed.

1) Andi and Bex’s relationship as mother and daughter really not strengthening and instead they just go on as if they’re still sisters.

2) Andi never calling Bex “mom”...I think it should come first before she calls Bowie “dad” because there’s already a bond between her and Bex and so it should be a lot easier to do that first.

3) Cyrus coming out. Or Jonah. Either one even just questioning who they actually like. Because when Disney had aired that one episode of Good Luck Charlie with the two moms, people went nuts and so I’m kinda hoping they don’t ignore exploring this plot line when/if it happens because of the backlash they had from the moms who claimed they were “enforcing gay agenda on the children.” Liking who you like isn’t something that can be taught really but like religion can be fed in unhealthy, brainwashing amounts like if you were to preach over and over again to someone every day for years “You’re a Christian so confess your sins you sinner” or “You’re gay just admit it already” even if they don’t follow that religion (or any religion) or aren’t that sexuality for sure; however, all that Disney is trying to do is be inclusive and not preachy. Just btw, I know a six year old who was happy to say that he has a boyfriend. Kids are growing up and if your kids aren’t gay they’ll be exposed to other kids who either support it and talk freely about it or who actually are gay. Nbd.

4) Buffy not realizing her flaw (being overly competitive) and not getting it in check so that she can be a better team player and even make some new friends on her track team.

5) Jonah not breaking it off with Tiffany (Amber) for his and everyone else’s mental health. Their relationship is not a good one and she is so nasty to all of his friends, he’s such a ball of sunshine who doesn’t need to be with a girl who will insult and disparage his friends behind his back. Oh yeah and cHEAT ON HIM. WHICH SHE TOTALLY IS!!!

Welp, I guess that’s all there is for me to say. I hope you’ve all gotten to know me better and I don’t know who to tag so I’ll just leave it up to any of you that follow me to pick up this tag for yourself and tell the Friendom a little bit about you! :)