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#so every child in that family is bi
p2iimon · 5 months
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drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me
#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy#then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so#its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway.#max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black#already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu#shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white.#and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason#everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at#withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind#like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh.#DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not#here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking#no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i#he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t#him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself#ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so#like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is#nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too#anyway.....#simons spouting#simons fnaf au#OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc.#their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial#relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that'#'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess#michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being#annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective#if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a#a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.
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yanderestarangel · 1 year
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HEADKANONS MK1 - "HOW WOULD THEY REACT TO THE PREGNANT READER?"
A/N: an anon asked me for Bi Han's reaction to a pregnant Reader, but then I decided to play several MK men soon, I'll answer all requests too, thanks for the asks and support <3
TW: pregnancy, afab anatomy, paternity mentioned, used "father/mother" to refer to the reader, mention of smut, fluff.
✧ BI HAN ✧
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It really depends on what kind of relationship you two have. You can have a "friendship with benefits" with Bi Han, where you look for each other just to have sex, then you end up accidentally getting pregnant and go look for him - obviously afraid, after all, he is Bi Han. So he asks you to meet him in the forest, the same meeting place where you made love in passionate encounters, with Bi Han fucking you hard, whispering how good you were for him, how good your beautiful pussy was on his dick, it was the only moment that the grand master was vulnerable. You saw him in the distance, with his arms crossed and a serious expression on his face as he waited for you to say something so important that made him miss an entire day of liu kuei training. After telling him, he would be surprised for a few minutes, and say: "-Are you sure it's my son?" -Bi Han said with a little too much seriousness in his voice, even aggression while you felt a little offended, but you would say yes, making Bi Han look at the sky, a smile could be seen slightly on his lips as he went at your direction by kneeling in front of your belly and nodding your head. "-I think we will be good parents, our child will have all the honor and power Lin Kuei." -The ice ninja stood up as he held your hand, he would be a good father, even if he was rude at times, he will take care of your pregnancy - and maybe he will want more children in the future with you - he would officially ask you to be his boyfriend/girlfriend or marriage, after all, he needs a partner by his side, especially you who are carrying his offspring.
✧ KUAI LIANG ✧
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The two of you also had a friendship with benefits, always together in the lonely early mornings that Kuai would look for you for pleasure and affection, but unlike his brother, Kuai would treat you as if the two of you were already dating, giving you gifts or even forgetting and saying that You were his boyfriend/girlfriend. Over time he started to stay even more at your house, always having sex in every possible place - and often without a condom - so soon your period was late, you felt sick and took a pregnancy test, confirming your suspicions. That night Liang and you had sex again, while you sat next to him on the mattress on the floor with the pregnancy test under the pillow, obviously you were scared, as you saw Kuai look at you worried. "-Is there a problem sweetheart?" -He said, caressing your naked and sweaty waist, after sex, while you sighed and took out the small pregnancy test, with the positive sign, showing it to him without saying anything. Kuai would remain silent for a few minutes, looking at the test in hand while he finally smiled slightly, looking at you fondly. "-Was that it (Y/N)? Why were you afraid to tell me? I'm literally in love with you, it's not just sex for me, I really love you. And we're together for everything, especially this." -Kuai Liang said smiling, hugging you right away, while stroking your hair. "-You will look beautiful as a father/mother, with a huge belly, carrying our child, our family will start now, you and me."
✧ SYZOTH ✧
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He's going to faint, no joke, but it's from happiness. Regardless of your relationship, he will be over the moon. Syzoth always wanted a family again, he lost one so he knows the pain and loneliness it is, being alone in the world and without hope, he found you and you started small meetings, sometimes sex, sometimes just watching a movie together or just talking - or sometimes all together, it depends on the mood of the two of you on the day - And this will last for many days, months or even years, he always wanted a title, but you never wanted to put labels on what you two had, what you left He was upset to be honest, but he continued with your conformist carnal encounters while trying to settle for sexual chemistry. But that didn't last long with a fight between the two of you for exactly that reason, you didn't want a relationship but he did, leading to the two of you not seeing each other for two weeks and in the meantime, you discovered you were pregnant, becoming desperate and looking for Syzoth immediately. He was shocked, paralyzed, he was breathing heavily and then passed out seconds later, but he woke up quickly. "-Am I going to be a father??? Am I really going to be a father again?" -Syzoth spoke with a happy smile, taking your shoulders, as he pulled you into a hug, jumping with joy, shedding a few tears in the process, he quickly knelt down, looking at your belly, and placing a kiss over the fabric of your blouse. "-I already love you my child, me and (Y/N) will love you very much." -He stood up, wiping away his tears while looking at you with affection. "-Do you agree to make things official between the two of us (Y/N)? And raise our child? I promise to do everything to protect you, as the father/mother of my son."
✧ REIKO ✧
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The two of you were the classic: enemies to lovers, always fighting with each other to stand out more for General Shao Khan or even falling to the punch - without losing the friendship, just a friendly spar, where Reiko and you left bleeding - But there was always sexual tension between the two of you, it was obvious to anyone who saw you, and one day, it became real, with you and Reiko taking a shower after a mission together in the same bathroom and with him teasing you and you teasing back, when you saw it, you had been sitting on Reiko's dick for two hours while he moaned loudly echoing through the box, the sex was incredible and you liked this concept of hating each other and competing in front of everyone, but meeting every night - even though the competitions also applied in the bedroom, with the two of you challenging each other with who was going to cum faster... Reiko always lost - but soon the two of you became more intimate, more passionate, starting to do it without a condom, because Reiko loves make a good creampie in your pussy - after a few weeks, you realized that you were sick and more unwell for training, making him also worry, so you went to an exo terra healer, proving that you were expecting Reiko's child . You didn't know how to tell him, but you didn't have to, he followed you and heard everything, waiting for you outside with your arms crossed and a slight smile on your face. "-Well, I think we're going to be parents now, right? And this child is going to be very dear to me (Y/N), you can trust me." -Reiko spoke sincerely, while placing a hand on your shoulder, kissing you on the forehead. "-And we both know that this child will be like me, he will be born strong like me and-" -He spoke but you soon disagreed, leading the two of you to walk hand in hand while talking/arguing amicably with whoever your son was going to look like.
✧ SHANG TSUNG ✧
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He was never a sentimental man, but you were the only person who got to see a softer side of Shang, he was still arrogant but less selfish when it came to you. The two of you met in his castle, where he studied various spells every night and liked to show off to you, at first it was just a friendship, but Shang fell in love with you which led you to have sex on his table, with first time showing you a soft side, as he thrust his hips into you, moaning loudly as he bit your neck. This became a routine, mainly sitting on Shang's lap with his entire dick in your pussy, while he studied some spells, letting you enjoy the pleasure. He's different from everyone else on the list, he knows you're pregnant before you can even open your mouth to tell him. You ran into his castle with tears in your eyes, ready to tell him, but he smiled at you with his back turned, it wasn't a forced or sarcastic smile, it was something soft, something real. "-Oh really? I already knew my cute little voodoo doll, have you already chosen a name? How about something big? After all, this child is mine." -He spoke with his chin raised and genuinely happy, as he called you closer, putting you on his lap and quickly kissing you, caressing your cheek. "-I will take care of you two, you as the father/mother of my child, and this child... I really want you by my side (Y/N)."
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©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023
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mrsparrasblog · 4 months
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Take Me to Church
Summary: John MacTavish, the black sheep of his traditional chatolic family, hides his polyamorous relationship with his boyfriend Simon and you their pregnant plus-size girlfriend from his judgmental relatives. When you visit his family while being 9 months pregnant you need to face the reality of his cruel family.
Normaly I think his parents are the most supportive folks but this idea popped up in my head.
TW: Pregnancy, mention of labour, mention of homophobia, fat phobia and strong catholic beliefs, has a happy end
John MacTavish was always the black sheep of his family, and for most of his adult life, he was okay with it. Seeing his family only three times a year made him endure the hate he got from his brothers. In their humble opinion, he was wasting his life; a career in the military wasn’t sustainable. He would risk his life for what? For no wife to come home to and no bairn. If they had seen his single-room bachelor apartment in Glasgow, they would cringe even more. Moving to Glasgow was another thing they disapproved of. He could have lived on the farm like every other MacTavish, crowded with all his nephews. He really loved them, but coming back from every deployment to help on the farm left him with no freedom and several set-up dates with "proper" Scottish girls.
If it had been his grandma’s choice, he’d marry a thin, catholic Scottish girl. And despite the girls being absolutely beautiful, it just wasn’t what he wanted. John MacTavish only had four wants in his life, and his family could only respect one of them (the want for a good whiskey). Becoming a Military Captain wasn’t one of them, dating his Lieutenant (coming out as BI would be an early grave for his grandparents and dad), and his fourth want was you, the beautiful, soft girl who made him and his Lieutenant go crazy. His family would have approved of you being a girl, but you being an atheist, not from Scotland, a plus-sized girl (which he and Simon absolutely adored), and you being in a relationship with both of them at the same time, would be another matter. Sometimes he laughed thinking about what would scare his family more: him being bi, only dating soft, curvy women, being in a poly relationship, or dating two "foreigners." He decided the poly thing would be the final death blow for his family.
So he hid this side of himself for years, hurting himself and, more importantly in his eyes, hurting you and Simon. Both of you tried hard not to act hurt when you spent another Christmas without him because he needed to attend his family gatherings without his dark secret.
The thing about secrets is they can never be kept, especially if his secret was crying in his strong arms with the famous device with two lines in your hands. “Johnny, what am I gonna do?” you sobbed while he tried everything to ease your mind. He knew it was his, always knew. Simon couldn’t be the dad; he had decided as soon as he was 18 to go to the doctors and take the responsibility to never have children.
The first months of the pregnancy were beautiful despite all the throwing up. When you thought you had two guard dogs before the pregnancy, you were so wrong. You didn’t even know that people could get so protective. Simon was attached to your hip every second he wasn’t on deployment, shooting death glares at anyone who even dared to look at you. Johnny didn’t allow you to clean or cook. “Won't let ma pregnant girl cook. What kind of lad do you think I am?” Johnny huffed as you complained about being pregnant and not sick. Even the sex got better; you were living the life with your two perfect boyfriends.
To his surprise, Simon was happy about the news. A child wasn’t something he thought was in his cards, but with you and Johnny, it could be possible. Even if he had the fear that the baby would only accept Johnny as his dad, you immediately told him that he was an idiot—the child would see him as the dad he was. "Who cares about fucking biology?"
Until your last weeks of pregnancy, when it was finally time to drop the bomb on Johnny’s parents. You wanted grandparents and uncles for your baby so badly. In the end, you regretted your decision.
Scotland, Kingussie
You wore a cute sundress, one of the only things that still fitted you since the pregnancy. You looked radiant; pregnancy suited you. And Johnny’s hand in yours, waiting for his parents to open the door. Johnny told you only half the truth when he said his parents were happy to meet you. They were, they just didn’t know half of it. And you were long asleep when Johnny and Simon had a fight about him finally telling his parents about him and that he mattered too. This didn’t help you prepare for what would happen once you entered the cozy farm in Scotland.
The door opened, and an older woman hugged Johnny immediately. “We missed you, my sweet boy. Show me the lovely lass you brought home.” One glance at you was enough to make her gasp. “Dear God, you’re pregnant!” Her blue eyes scrutinized you. To her credit, she really tried to hide her disgust, not wanting to judge you. “Is it yours, son?”
“Mom, of course it’s mine.”
“Well, congratulations.”
She walked inside the house while you and Johnny removed your shoes. Both of you fell into an awkward silence. “Johnny, what the fuck was that?”
“Mo leannan, I’m sorry. They’re a bit catholic, but they mean well, I promise.”
“Johnny…”
“Please, give them a small chance, and then we can leave whenever you want.”
You sat down at the enormous table. Fourteen pairs of blue eyes stared at you like you were a foreign alien invading their beloved home.
“So, you’re Johnny’s lass?” his father asked gruffly.
“Yes, Johnny and I have been dating for four years,” you smiled softly. Simon and Johnny were the best four years of your life.
“Four years, so I assume that bairn is yours, Johnny?”
“Of course it’s his,” you snapped, offended that he even asked. You would never cheat on Simon and Johnny. There wasn’t even a reason—the relationship and the sex were perfect.
“I didn’t talk to you, lass. I asked my son.”
“Dad, of course it’s mine.”
“So, you’re telling me that you compromised that poor girl?”
“Compromised?” you asked, confused.
“Not even English by her lack of vocabulary,” his grandfather chimed in.
“I told you, Johnny, you can’t just let your urges win. Look at you, knocking that poor woman up and not even asking for her hand in pòsadh,” his father gripped the table, trying to calm himself down.
“Do you know how much shame you bring to this family, Johnny? I would have given you your great-grandma’s ring, but no, you decided to take the MacTavish name even further into ruin. We accepted all your poor choices, lad, but now you’ve got a non-Scottish girl knocked up without any wedlock.”
“It’s not like the ring would have fit on her fat finger anyway,” his brother mocked, and that was Johnny’s final straw. He grabbed your hand, ready to leave.
“I won’t bother you with my shame anymore. Come, mo leannan.”
“Please, Johnny, stay. I promise Dad and Grandpa won’t say a word. We just never heard of you having a girlfriend, and now she’s pregnant. It’s a big shock.”
Johnny wanted to protest, but you really wanted your baby to have grandparents to love her. You whispered in Johnny’s ear that you needed to stay, at least try it for Sophia’s sake.
Another choice you regretted as soon as you saw haggis on your plate. “Johnny, what’s this?”
“I’m sorry, mo leannan. I told them you’re vegetarian,” he said apologetically.
“It’s good for the baby, lass. At least try it before you mock it,” she said, and you hated yourself for being a people-pleaser because the minute you tasted it, you ran to the toilet, throwing it up.
“That was a tad dramatic.”
“I get it, lass. When I was pregnant with my cute Johnny, I couldn’t hold anything in. Do you already have a name?” His mother really tried to make amends, giving you a bit of slack while his other family members couldn’t.
“Yes, we thought about Sophia.”
“That’s not a Scottish name,” his mother’s tone was full of disappointment.
“You cheated on John!” his grandpa started to scream at you.
“What?”
“The MacTavish family has never born a girl. Never.”
“Grandpa, you better shut your mouth.”
“How dare you talk this way to me in my own house!”
“Mo leannan, start the car already. We’re leaving.”
You went as fast as your swollen pregnant legs could carry you, trying to close your ears to the conversation.
“You won’t see my bairn. You disrespected the fucking love of my life. Who cares if she isn’t Scottish, or not Catholic, or fat? I fucking love her like this. She is the most intelligent, funny, beautiful woman on earth, and I’m going to have at least three babies with her, and you won’t see any of them. Or me. And by the way, I also fuck a man too.” He ignored the screams of his grandfather, how he was disowned, the pleading of his mother to rethink his choice. All he needed was to get back to you, the baby, and drive you to Simon, his perfect family.
“Mo leannan, I’m sorry. I should have done this years ago.”
“I just want to go home, Johnny. I’ve had enough.” You weren’t sure if you wanted to be mad at him or thankful for protecting you and your baby like this. But before you could decide on that, your shoes were already soaked. “Johnny, the water broke.”
“Yeah, I’ll fix it at home.”
“What?”
"Well, I don’t have a screwdriver here, and I won’t ask my dad for one."
"Why do you need a screwdriver?"
"To fix the car. You said the water broke; you meant the leak, right? Simon was already on it, but I guess it’s opened again."
"No, Johnny, my fucking water broke."
He stared at you in horror before he scooped you up and started to run. "Where are you running, Johnny?"
"To the hospital."
"We have a bloody car."
"But it’s leaking."
"Johnny, I’m leaking, not the bloody car," you screamed in pain after one of your first contractions.
"Fucking hell, I can bring that baby. I helped a cow with labor; it’s the same, right?"
"Johnny, you’re going to drive me to a fucking hospital. I’m not some highland cow."
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After 16 hours of painful labor (MacTavish babies are huge), your sweet girl was finally born, and Johnny didn’t even faint, much to Simon’s surprise, who almost caused six car crashes on the way to you. And now you were lying in bed, barely awake, looking at your tiny bundle of joy in Simon’s burly arms. It was enough to make a grown man cry. Kyle, Johnny, and Simon were just amazed by the baby.
The door went wide open. "How is my girl?" John ran towards your bed, looking to see if you were injured, hurt, and alive, holding you tight in his arms. He didn’t even look once at Sophia; he was just too afraid about you. "Sorry, I was afraid something happened to you with these muppets." You always wished to experience a father’s love, and right now you realized you didn’t need to have Johnny’s dad or grandpa for this—you had Captain Price.
"It’s okay, Dad," and this was enough to make Price bawl his eyes out. He always wanted a daughter, but infertility was a cruel curse on him. He kissed your forehead. "Let me look at my granddaughter." He accepted this role without hesitation, when you saw your baby between her two loving fathers, her uncle Kyle, and her Grandpa Price, you knew she already had the family you were searching for.
A/N: I don't approve of anything his family said if this isn't clear, I was almost in the same situation (without pregnancy) meeting the strongly prejudiced grandma of my partner. So please don't come at me with hate, already have enough of it in my asks :)
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pooks · 6 months
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Percy Weasley headcanon time, part 2!
all the Quidditch captains at Hogwarts crushed HARD on him
Oliver Wood: obvious reasons, they are roommates (oh my god, they are roommates), they're in every class together, Percy has canonically been at Gryffindor's Quidditch matches, etc. i could go on.
Roger Davies: captain of the Ravenclaw in case you don't remember( can't blame ya). but Percy is smart and clever, he would charm the pants of any Ravenclaw without even trying. a fellow scholar who plays Quidditch too. everytime Ravenclaw meets Gryffindor, he tries to impress but fails cause Oliver Wood.
Cedric Diggory: he got the biggest boy crush on Percy and it was literally his bi awakening. not only is Percy smart, but he's also incredibly kind and responsible. he takes a page of Percy's book and values good sportmanship (this is the reason why the twins can't stand him, they've seen him yearning after their brother)
Marcus Flint: he doesn't like any Gryffindor at all, not even when pigs fly and it rains lava. but Percy is different, he's the Golden Student of not only Gryffindor, but of the whole school (no he doesn't count Hermione). Percy is smart, clever, determined, kind, righteous and so incredibly pretty. if it wasn't for his blood status, then Percy would've been poster child of "the ideal spouse" the pureblood families always nags about.
Conclusion: Oliver and Marcus gets into fistfights every week because of this and no one relents until someone is nearly dead (the only reason Snape gives detention to a Slytherin, of all things, cause he didn't sign up for his own student's blood feud)
Poor Roger Davies gets friendzoned the whole time cause Percy genuinely believes they're friends and he can't ruin that cause Penelope Clearwater will literally murder him in his sleep
Cedric decides to play it safe, earn Percy's affection slowly and maybe the Perfect Prefect will fall for him...eventually.
Too bad Fred and George is deadset on NO ONE dates their brother...except maybe Oliver Wood, but he has to prove himself with twelve quests (that was a total lie)
Outcome: Percy eventually dates Oliver Wood and he's incredibly happy with him. He doesn't even know that his five brothers and baby sister threatens Oliver if he ever hurt him. He's mildly annoyed when he finds out, though.
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behindthesoul · 11 months
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MK Men As Parents
Thanks to @mortal-kombat-shitposts and Tommy from the Discord server for giving me this idea <3
Characters: Liu Kang, Syzoth, Shang Tsung, Bi-Han
Note: gender neutral, mentions of periods in Syzoth’s part, not proofread
Masterlist
Liu Kang
Chill parent.
He makes time for his kid whenever he can, but he’s busy with being the defender of Earthrealm. I can see his kid mostly being raised by the monks at the Wu Shi Academy.
He trains his kid to the best of his ability, not wanting them to be defenseless in case of an emergency.
I don’t think they would go to Outworld much. Sindel wouldn’t even know Liu had a kid til they’re older.
Liu is very wise and gives the best advice. He’s there to calm his kid down should they ever get angry or upset. He expects his child to be truthful and always come to him if something’s wrong.
I can imagine his kid learning of his god status pretty early on, but not knowing of his past role as Keeper of Time until he’s forced to reveal it. Depending on their personality, this could cause some tension between them.
Syzoth
Assuming Syzoth’s child also has his ability to take a human form, he would drill it into their head that they are not a freak. Their human and Zaterran form are both beautiful to him.
Parenting is a unique challenge for Syzoth. While he easily handles the Zaterran aspects of raising a child, he finds it more challenging to comprehend human things such as periods, puberty, and tantrums.
Syzoth finds himself missing his family more and more each day. He feels bad his child won’t have much family to grow up around. I think because of this, Syzoth is a bit protective. He’s already lost so much, he can’t bear to lose the best thing in his life.
He’s nowhere near overbearing, but there are moments where he watches his kid like a hawk.
Shang Tsung
I can imagine Shang being a single parent, doing his best to raise a child in his shack. He spends most of the day out in towns, selling his fake cures. He trusts his child to be able to take care of themselves while he’s gone.
He’s a devoted father doing all he can to keep his child happy. He wants them to be smart, frequently having them reading above age-level and doing math problems most kids their age can’t comprehend.
Once Shang’s benefactor gives him his big break? Shang spoils the shit out of his child. Giving them the life they’ve always deserved. These are the days Shang’s child sees him smile the most. Gone are the days of tirelessly selling fraudulent medicine. It’s time to live lavish!
Bi-Han
Not the most emotionally available parent.
He’s not the type to show any emotion that isn’t anger, and he doesn’t know how to deal with others’ feelings. He tries his best, but he may not react to every situation the way his child needs him to.
He’s a strict father; a product of being the grandmaster of the Lin Kuei. His child has a lot of eyes on them, so they will be ruthlessly trained to be the best of the best.
He is a father first before he is a grandmaster. But, if he feels the need to put his foot down, his child will hear “obey your Grandmaster!”
He’ll never admit to it, but Bi-Han does spoil his child. Not as much as other characters would, though.
His strictness will only work for so long! If his child catches him on a good day, he may or may not let them skip training by feigning illness. If someone brings it up he’ll just say, “my child shows great dedication to the Lin Kuei. They have not missed a day of training.”
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moonlitstoriess · 4 months
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Across the Universe-ch.1 (Azriel x reader, eventual Fenrys x reader)
Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terassen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.
See masterlist
A/n: hey everyone! so this is my first work on here and I just hope you will enjoy it. Please do not hesitate to comment whether you like it/want more of it or if you have some good constructive criticism to give! I will give some clarifications at the end of this chapter as to not give away any spoilers beforehand:)
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Being a female Illyrian with wings was never meant to be easy. Growing up and not knowing your parents was perhaps the greatest pain a child could endure. Especially if that child grows up in a cruel place like the Illyrian camps. For the first 20 years of her life, y/n knew nothing but pain, mistreatment and hatred as she spent her youth at the cruel hands of an old Illyrian bastard. Of course, what y/n went through was never kept as a secret but it is not like anyone cared anyway. This was Illyria, the mistreatment of females was not a surprise. In fact, the vile monsters who called themselves warriors, encouraged it.
And just like any other female unlucky enough to be born in Illyria and have wings, y/n had to get her wings clipped. Even after all those years, that moment that changed everything for y/n is still so vivid in her mind...
The leaves in the forest crunched as his boots kept stepping on them while dragging her through the maze of trees.
"Please, please I beg you do not take my wings!"
He kept on ignoring her. She called him a 'He' because y/n would never willingly say his disgusting name. Not when he was the cause of all her trauma and illnesses. She kept thrashing, begging and trying to get away but it was useless.
"I beg yo-"
Her words were cut short as a slap was delivered to her face.
"Shut you mouth! you useless bitch"
She never begged. No, y/n was strong, even then, at her weakest she was strong. She never begged. Not when he would burn her hands, not when he would whip her back, not when he would beat her up because she forgot to do a chore. But now she begged. She begged for her only form of freedom, her precious wings. At that moment y/n knew what had to be done. This was the last straw.
"Stay like that on your knees and do NOT move, or else you won't like the consequences."
As he turned around to search for his tools, y/n sat there on the ground in the middle of this dark forest just outside the outskirts of the village and knew she could not go down like those before her. For 20 years she submitted to his every will but not now, not again. Weak coward is what she has been and now it was time to change that.
When he turned around, y/n was holding her only form of protection, her pocket knife that she would always hide under her clothes. When he was close enough, y/n gave a final prayer to the mother and attacked him with a sloppy move that would result in either her freedom or death.
"It is time to truly make you bound to me you bi-"
He did not get to finish his words as the knife he did not see in the dark, found its mark in his throat. Crimson red blood was everywhere as that monster choked on his own blood like a damn fool and finally, slumped to the ground.
The rest? Well, the rest became history as y/n left that night with his blood still soaking her own clothes and body and his fresh corpse laying on the ground. She would never let anyone ever dictate her life again. Never would she be weak again. And so, for the next 80 years of her life, y/n went from one place to another and taught herself how to fight and be like a warrior. Her name began spreading around like wildfire, as people started talking of the Illyrian female who not only managed to keep her wings but also killed her abuser.
She helped hundreds, by recruiting victims of different horrible events and teaching them how to fight and protect themselves. Y/n became a legend especially in the eyes of female Illyrians who tried to follow her lead. This was also the reason why y/n one day opened her door to see the High Lord of the Night Court waiting for her. The smile on Rhysands face was blinding as he praised y/n while also telling her about how it was a dream of his to get rid of the old Illyrian traditions and rules set against the females. It was on that eventful day that the High Lord also offered y/n to join his court and make a very impactful visit to Illyria after all these years to help him make those changes.
At the time, it was a huge step for y/n as she delegated her role as a trainer to her first-best student who was more than honored to continue y/n's job in the training academy. When she came to Velaris she was in awe of its beauty and comfort. The inner circle welcomed her with open arms and although y/n was a little distant at first, she soon got along well with everyone and especially Cassian as they trained daily together. It was also the time when the first seeds of her crush on Azriel were planted.
Therefore, by the age of 100, y/n was an official member of the night court, a legendary figure who started to make her changes during her visits to the Illyrian camps. This time, she went in not as a weakling, but as a feared and well-respected fighter, female and most of all, Illyrian. But even with all of the fierce titles that she got, y/n still felt like turning into a small, shy and meek girl whenever Azriel was around. Rhysand sending them together on constant missions did nothing to ease her increasing infatuations with the famed shadowsinger either.
Unfortunately, they got closer during the darkest of times when Rhysand sacrificed himself to protect his court and city from Amarantha. It was then that, Azriel and y/n shared their deepest, most raw and intimate moments with one another while also doing their best to protect the city in which they were locked in thanks to Rhysands wards. Those moments were what led y/n to confess her true feelings to the spymaster during the 4th year of what would be Amarantha's 50 year reign of terror. After that day, they truly became lovers in all aspects that mattered. Even though that unmistakable bond of a mate did not appear, y/n knew it was only a matter of time before they both felt it. There was no other way.
Today, sitting here on her lovers chair in his office, y/n felt proud of herself and her loved ones for overcoming so much. Rhysand and Feyre under the mountain, the war against Hybern, Nesta and Elain becoming high fae, and the attack on Velaris all left many scars both visible and invisible on everyone. Knowing that everyone has finally found some form of happiness and that her lover is safe with her should have made y/n happy, excited even. But as of late, she could not bring herself to feel anything because Azriel was not the male she once knew.
For a very long time now, the shadowsinger has been distancing himself from y/n in favor of spending more time with a specific redheaded priestess, Gwyneth. What was once called the hour of reading by y/n and Az in the comfort of their home, turned into reading with Az and Gwyn in the library. Even during training, Gwyn would respectfully decline y/n or anyone elses offers to train her and would instead ask Azriel to teach her. He would always happily oblige, leaving y/n alone as Cassian trained with Nesta. At first, y/n tried to understand and reason by thinking that since Azriel was the one to save the priestess from facing a terrible fate in the library of Sangravah, it was only fair that she felt safe around him. However, the other priestesses were also saved by Azriel, Cassian and Rhysand and yet, y/n never saw them be as clingy as Gwyn was towards Azriel.
The final nail in the coffin came when Azriel started coming home late and locking himself up in his office and leaving early in the morning. This meant that y/n never saw her lover, let alone kissed or made love to him. That is how it led to her finally coming to his office to wait for him and get some answers to her questions.
"Y/n? W-what are you doing here?"
That slightly nervous voice drew her back into reality as y/n looked back from the window showing the beautiful city, to see Azriel standing in the doorway with dishelved hair and a sort of scared look in his eyes, no matter how much he tried to not show it, y/n knew him like the back of her hand. Being together for 52 years does that to you. This was not a good sign then, for Azriel never showed such a shameful expression and his shadows were nowhere in sight.
As y/n got up from the chair and started walking towards him, her mind and soul clinged onto that last thread of hope that the male whom she loved was not unfaithful to her, that he would explain everything and she would see that she was making silly little assumptions out of nothing.
Unfortunately, all that hope came crashing down as y/n got close enough to him and smelled that scent of another female, that scent that belonged to...Gwyn. And if the small dark marks that were peeking above the spymasters shirt were any indicator, they did more than just read together.
Y/n felt like she was drowning, like a huge mountain just crashed down on her and she was left under all that rubble to suffocate and die. She was frozen in her spot, unfeeling and unmoving as she felt her body shut down completely. Clearly, this only meant that she would shatter soon enough but not here, not in front of him. Never would she ever be weak infront of any male. And so, with a voice that conveyed no emotion, she asked, "How long?"
"Y/n ple-"
"How long, Azriel."
Azriel sighed as he looked anywhere but at her when he said, "Since the first time Nesta brought her to train with us."
"But that was 2 years ago."
After seeing him nod very slightly, she reigned in her tears that were burning the backs of her eyes, and asked one simple question,
"Why?"
Now it was the shadowsingers turn to look as emotionless as he could while saying, "Because she is my mate y/n."
Mate, mate, mate ofcourse he would have a mate, no matter how many years they were together, neither of them ever felt that bond snap. Foolish, so foolish to think, to hope that they were destined to be, that their bond would snap any moment. But how cruel can one be to hide the truth for 2 years, To go behind her back, even if Gwyn is his mate, and be unfaithful? To not admit the truth as if y/n wouldn't understand. And Gwyn? how could she never once mention it to y/n during all those moments spent together? How, how how..
As if that pain was not enough, Azriel confessed, "I am sorry y/n but truly, did you think we were fated to be? I always knew what we had was temporary, that we were never going to have a happy end as the cauldron would give us both our own mates. My love for you has always only been platonic...have you not noticed that I never once said 'I love you'? I saw you as a friend, a companion in whom I could loose myself for a while as I waited for my mate to come. Truly, you were good, so good to me, kind and caring and yet, so foolish. You imagined and expected too much of us y/n...for you I was a male whom you desperately loved but for me, you were simply someone who I could spend my time with until my mate arrived. I love Gwyn, I have taken her to the house of wind multiple times and made love to her there, I have spent my time understanding and creating as many memories as possible with her. From the moment I saw her 2 years ago when Nesta brought her, I felt this pull towards her and now...now I could never get enough. I do not say this to hurt you, but to make you see the truths that we were never what you wanted us to be."
Y/n took a deep inhale, the only indicator of her emotions at the moment while still processing his words and asked her final question while still staring at the wall behind him, "Who knew?"
Azriel was confused for a minute because after all that he had just confessed, she only asked that? Not to mention how much it was killing him to not understand her current emotions and expressions as y/n stayed completely unflinching, staring at the wall and expecting an answer from him. So, with a shameful sigh, the spymaster replied, "Everyone knew."
At that moment, y/n knew 2 things with clarity. First, never should you trust someone, no matter how close you are with them. Never should you give your heart to someone because in the end, they shall shatter it anyway. In this life, you are always on your own. Y/n has always been alone even after joining Rhys, y/n walked her own lonely road. Second, her "family" were traitorous liars. For the past 2 years as y/n descended back into her depressive moments, as she got flashbacks of those horrible times from her youth spent in the Illyrian village, as her panic attacks and insecurities started to resurface, the inner circle did nothing to pull her out of it. But what else would you expect from them? of course they would protect Azriel and his actions, no matter how disgusti-
"Y/n? please talk to me, I am going mad here with your lack of words and emotions. Please sweetheart." as Azriel's hand made contact with y/n's wrist, it was as if an electric shock brought her back to life.
Y/n slapped him right across the face as she said her next words in a tone so cruel and unfeeling, her enemies did not even hear that tone before meeting their death's at her hands, "If you touch me again, my knife shall find it's mark between your eyes, so unless you do not want to leave your precious mate a widow so soon, I suggest you get the fuck out of my sight, shadowsinger."
"Y/n ple-"
"Oh and, since you are such a loyal dog to him, do tell your rotten high lord that I am leaving his rotten court. I shall be gone by sunrise."
As she turned to leave his office throught he backdoor, Azriel did something that Y/n had never known him capable of doing. He fell on his knees as tears threatened to spill from his eyes and begged in a voice so shaky, y/n could only think whether he was even real.
"Y/n I beg you, let us talk properly, Gwyn kept telling me how I must let you know. That she hates being a secret but I was such a coward I-I..plea-"
"I do not care what Gwyn has to say. Save your tears and pleas for someone who cares Azriel, you are right, you are a coward and perhaps you always were one for playing with my feelings in such a cruel way. Do not come after me or I swear I won't hesitate to end you with my bare hands."
With that, y/n turned her back on the male for whom she would once move the mountains for, for whom she would sacrifice herself for. The male whom she loved so much and yet, this whole time he toyed with her, he saw her as a placeholder. What a blind fool have you been y/n.
The second y/n made sure that Azriel left the house, she broke down in tears. For the first time in a very long time, y/n cried unstoppable tears. But that moment came to an abrupt end as she heard a voice. Whether it was within her mind or from somewhere else she did not know and did not care because even though the voice sounded so far away, she got this immediate urge within her soul to go find it.
Deep down, y/n knew she should let it be, that she is possibly imagining things and that she should start packing now but that urge within her tightened as if wanting her to go find the source of the voice. So, with a final wipe of her tears, y/n stood and leapt through her window, spreading her wings and following that string to reach the distant voice.
As y/n began nearing the source of the sound, she realized that it is coming from the house of wind. She should have turned around and left at that second because seeing this house now only brought back Azriels words about how he spent his time here with Gwyn. Atleast that is what the y/n who was not possesed by an urge would do. But alas, this thread only grew stronger within her, leaving her no other choice.
As she began walking down the halls of the house, y/n looked back on all her memories with the inner circle here. Once, those memories would have made her smile fondly but now, they only make her feel anger and disgust. They knew this whole time...such liars, such tra-
No...this could not be it. The urge within her must have been playing a foolish trick because no way was the voice coming from this room. But that urge within her had died down as if finally only the double doors in front of y/n were stopping her from getting to the voice. But this room wasn't just any room. It was the warded room containing all 3 objects of the Trove AND the Book of Breathings.
From here, she could clearly hear the ugly, hissing voice of the book saying, "Welcome, The Terror."
"Why are you hesitating? Open the door child, open it."
As if on cue, the wards around the room disappeared and the doors opened for her. Y/n could only be confused for a second before an unknown power forced her to walk into the area. And there it was, that book sitting on the circular table in the middle of the room, beckoning for her to come closer.
"The Iron Phoenix, you finally came to learn your destiny."
Y/n scoffed as she looked at the silly book from a distance and said, "Did you truly waste my time by making me come to you so that you could spit your nonsense at me? I have enough to deal with already, I do not need another headache from you."
As she turned around to leave, the book hissed loudly, "Do not mock me you fool, I know your deepest secret Winged Fury, a secret so precious not even your once beloved lover knows."
At that, y/n turned around with a shocked expression all over her face and asked, "How? How do you know of it?"
"You can not know more than me, Valkyrie, I am the one who knows it all."
It seems today was the day when y/n had to find out just how little she knows about everything. She had enough, and this stupid book will be the unfortunate one to be the outlet of her emotions. Furious, she took quick strides to reach it as she began, "How dare you?! you call me here to spit nothing of value at me while I just went through the wo-"
A sudden wave of power hit her as y/n felt like she was stuck in one place right in front of the book. Her walls, her mental walls they...they were being melted down as she felt her mind fall into some hypnotic spells.
With a voice so beautiful and eerily soothing, the book says, "Open me, open me Braveheart and see your true destiny."
Somewhere, the last sane part of her was telling y/n that this was wrong, that whatever will happen once she opens the book won't be good. Unfortunately, y/n seemed unable to follow that voice as her fingers made contact with the cover of the ancient book and flipped it open.
The book started flipping its own pages until it landed on the one with language so old, y/n knew that it was not remembered within the past history. Her mouth began moving against her will as she began saying the words on the book in such an experienced manner, it felt as if the ancient object had posessed her.
At some point, y/n could hear distant voices...was that Rhys? Az? Cas? or no, no maybe that is Nesta or another female who is screaming? Y/n could not move, could not think, as if her sole purpose was to finish the spell. She could distantly feel her body loosing its physicality. Was she disappearing? Was she becoming a ghost?
As she was saying the final words of the book, y/n turned around to find everyone from the inner circle in the room trying to get closer to her. Despair was all over their faces but it was Azriels tear striken face that y/n saw for the last time before darkness welcomed her.
"You are home now, Stormbreaker, you are home."
"Now, you shall unfold your true destiny."
With a jolt, y/n shot her eyes open and got up from...was this a grassy hill? as she turned to look behind her, there was a small lake with a white...is that a deer? What is this place? Where was she?
But y/n did not get to explore anything else as she felt the cool edge of a knife press into her throat from behind as a male voice said to her, "You move, you die."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/n: Damn this was fun to write! What secret does y/n have? I did leave a very tiny clue on that for anyone who might find it;) Anyway, I know most of you were maybe expecting Az to cheat with Elain but i am a Gwynriel shipper through and through and just could not think of Elain being such a homwrecker. Of course I am pretty sure Gwyn isn't one either butttt just for the sake of plot ya know. This won't be the last time we see the acotar characters as they will appear hopefully in the later chapters. But for now, sit back and watch y/n's new journey in this new world.
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lilacsandpetals · 1 year
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Frozen Blossoms Pt. 2
Last part here.
Next part here.
Bi-Han x F! reader
Tags and notes: Arranged marriage AU, SFW, exploring emotions. Pre-MK1/MK1 AU
TW: Slightly violent thoughts, toxic behavior.
You waited for him that morning, he never came. 
—------------
You had picked up a mundane routine from there. The day would start with you waking up alone, seeing BI-Han in passing while you learned how to fulfill your own duties in your new role. You would come across him again at the dinner table with his family, feigning the act of a bashful newlywed. You would catch Tomas and Kuai Liang exchanging a glance with one another, meanwhile, Bi-Han would remain as serious as ever. Then you would retire to your bedroom, and spend some time reading before falling asleep alone. Bi-Han came to bed sometime after you would fall asleep, at least you assumed so. 
It was lonely.
You barely saw your husband, how did he expect this marriage to work? Today, was no different as you sat on the bench of the training area. You had already had some lessons on the administrative work of your future role this morning, and then you had been taught additional lessons of self-defense training. That proved more difficult on your body than anticipated, but thankfully today’s instruction was over. You were to do as you pleased until your evening meal. Sighing and standing to your feet, your eyes found their way to the garden nearby, you had seen it many times but were yet to check it out; so you figured spending some time there couldn’t hurt. 
The light breeze graced your skin while you entered the path spanning through the garden. The array of flowers was beautiful; pink roses, azaleas, blossoms, peonies, the list went on. You stopped by a tree teeming with blossoms and leaned back against it. Some of the petals danced with the wind as they blew away. A couple fell onto your hair and you carefully picked them off. 
You twirled the petals between your fingers, it was soft and delicate. You liked the change of environment. The vibrance of the garden was a stark contrast to the architecture surrounding it. Suddenly the sound of footsteps broke you out of your trance. 
“Wife.”
You looked up and Bi-Han gave you a curt nod. You gave him a small smile back. 
His hair was slightly tossed, and his breathing was a tad heavier than usual. Maybe he had been off training elsewhere? Or maybe he came back from some sort of mission? You wouldn’t know.
You didn’t know what to say, It was so difficult to communicate and you hated it. You had been married a few weeks ago and you still knew close to nothing about him. 
Bi-Han eyed you up and down before speaking. You couldn’t distinguish if he was eyeing you as if you were an adversary, prey, or something in between. “You… like those flowers?”
“I do.” You looked at the blossom petals in your hand before looking at him. “Are you taking a break? I don’t think I’ve seen you come by the garden before.”
He does find himself in the garden on occasion, but he finds no need to tell you that. “No, I only came to inquire about what you were doing here. I thought you had lessons to attend to.”
You rolled your eyes and pushed yourself up from the tree. You thought he had come to spend time with you, not check on you as if you were some child. “I’ve finished what was required of me today.” 
“Then I’ll leave you be.” 
You didn’t want him to leave, you craved a sense of connection with him. Maybe if you had a decent opportunity to talk to him it could spark something between you two. So you didn’t think about what he might say before reaching out and grabbing his arm. 
Bi-Han froze. You had barely touched him at all in the past weeks. Other than your hand brushing his at the dinner table every so often, he only recalled the way your delicate hands rested in his rough, calloused ones at the wedding ceremony. 
Your hands were soft, smaller than his. Foolishly, he sometimes wondered what it would be like to intertwine his fingers with yours.  
He slowly turned his face to look down at you. “What is it?”
“May I go with you?”
“No.” 
You shot him a confused look, “Why?”
“I am busy with things that don’t concern you.”
“I’m your wife, whatever concerns you, concerns me as well.”
Bi-Han raised an eyebrow, part of him wanted you to leave. He didn’t need a distraction. Yet a small part of him wanted you to accompany him, he wanted your interest, your attention. His conflicting feelings drove him mad these past weeks. He buried himself in his work and training, attempting to keep the thought of you at bay. You were still obstructing his focus even when you weren’t present. It enraged him that you had snaked your way into his mind. 
He would think of how peaceful you looked when you slept; your hair tousled, your lips slightly parted, and your expression serene. You slept in complete comfort as if you had no worries in the world. He thought about how you would still happily engage with the clan despite your own reservations, how you would speak and listen intently to whoever you came across. He thought about how you spoke with an aura of gentle concern. Your entire being seemed like the antithesis to him. He hated that he found it intriguing. 
Emotional attachments were never a plus. Yes, he had care for his brothers and his father, but that was already enough. He would take on the role of Grandmaster soon, and the necessity of logical rationale outweighed emotional interference. He need not invite anyone else in his heart, lest he grow weak like his father. 
The day his mother died, his father had broken down. He wallowed in his sorrows for far too long. Bi-Han watched the esteemed Grandmaster delve into that of a pathetic mess. 
Bi-Han missed his mother as well, he missed her dearly. But he never allowed anyone to see that sort of weakness from him. He was not opposed to comforting his younger brother, but he himself grieved alone, away from anyone else who might see his pitiful state, lest that be used against him. 
His mother had wanted him to be strong, not weak-minded. He was disappointing her and himself the more he found himself musing over you. 
Bi-Han took hold of your hand, more gently than you expected, and lifted it off of his arm. He held onto your hand for a moment too long before letting it go. “You are my wife in title, but that is all. Fulfill your own duties as I do mine.” 
Your hand returned to your side, and you let him go. 
He reminded you of a stubborn brat. 
—————
You left him be that day and went about your usual routine until you retired to your bedroom. Bi-Han, Kuai Liang, Tomas, and a few of the other clan mates had left in a hurry. Apparently, something urgent had come up and you were promptly rushed off to your room.
You hated to admit it, but you were nervous. You hoped that nothing serious happened. It had been hours and you were still pacing your bedroom. You hoped your in-laws were without injury. 
You hoped your husband was okay. 
You know you two barely interacted, but still, you worried. 
‘What was taking so long?’
Your question is answered when the door flies open. Your room is dimly lit and Bi-Han stands in the doorway, panting and stomping over to a dresser that he kept his clothing in. He rummaged through it, tossing some supplies onto your bed. 
At that point, you’re snapped out of your stupor. “What happened??” You worriedly exclaim and rush to his side. 
He sighs deeply. He supposes it’s fine to disclose the ordeal since you do live here. “We had some intruders try to break into a few locations on the outskirts of the complex. They were skilled.” He kept it short and sweet. He wouldn’t disclose that the main concern was a suspicion the intruders may have been from Outworld. You and your clan were yet to know about that.
He slowly sits on the bed and grabs a bottle of some sort. 
“Let me help,” you say and reach out your hands towards his arm and the bottle. 
He instinctively leans back when you approach. 
That got on your nerves at this point. You had stayed up worrying for him, waiting for him to come back safely, and now you just wanted to help him feel better, and he resisted you even now. “You act as if I’m an enemy, I’m just trying to help you!” you snapped.
Bi-Han rolls his eyes “I would have killed you by now if you had been a threat to me.”
You grit your teeth, that wasn’t the point. “How charming,” you spat back.
At that, he snatches his arm away again. “I’m able to take care of myself. Leave.” 
He could be intimidating, yet you chose to stand your ground. You crossed your arms. “In case you forgot we both share this bedroom, I will not be leaving.”  
Bi-Han shot you an exasperated look. You were insufferable. “Then be quiet.” 
You raised an eyebrow, a retort hanging on the tip of your tongue, but he wasn’t even worth that. You closed your mouth and sat down on your side of the bed. He could take care of himself then. 
You were silent. You could hear him groaning in pain as he tried to clean the wound. Why was he so against your help? What had you done to him to make him be so cruel? You keep your face turned away but maintain a calm tone of voice “I am only trying to help you.” 
The desire for your help was there, but he’d be damned if he allowed it to happen. He was able to manage his own wounds, he’s been doing it since his mother passed away. But his resolve is tested when you dare to reach out your hand anyway. 
You’re testing your luck, but it’s the best you can do when things are so strained with him. You don’t speak but keep your grip on his arm firm. Something stops him from pulling away again, and you thank a higher power for getting him to calm down for once. He is tense, you can tell by how his arm is flexed and his shoulders slightly stiff. You dab some alcohol to the wound and unintentionally wince when you hear him grunt. “Sorry, sorry,” you mumble softly. The gash in his arm is deep, you can’t help but wonder who caused it, but you know better than to barrage him with questions now. You carefully wrap a bandage around his arm and step back, expecting some sense of gratitude from him, but you’re met with the exact opposite as he storms off out of the room. 
Frustration begins to bubble up within you, why was he so childish? It’s as if for every step forward you took, you ended up taking three steps back. You were trying your best to get closer, but if he wanted to act ridiculous then you’d leave him be. 
—------------
The training grounds were empty at this hour. Dimly lit and silent besides the sound of fists messily colliding with leather. Bi-Han hit the training bag again and again. Why did you have to interfere? Why did you have to make him feel the way that he did? He felt like he didn’t have control over something as simple as his own thoughts. You made him feel conflicted, uncomfortable at the desire you clawed out of him. 
He should have pulled away, but he let you tend to his wounds. And how lovely you looked while you did. He didn’t know when he started to focus on you in that manner. You looked so concentrated. A few strands of your hair hung in your face as you applied alcohol to the injury; he wondered what would happen if he reached out to tuck the strands behind your ear. You leaned forward and craned your neck slightly to the side as you bandaged his arm. Your neck appeared smooth and slender to him. He wanted to wrap his hand around your throat, he could crush it if he wanted to. Would he stop thinking of you then? 
A dull ache began to bloom on his knuckles. He would often cover his hands with ice by now, had his skin started to become irritated. Tonight he didn’t bother. He was desperate to feel something, anything else. The training bag began to wear out as the skin of his knuckles began to split open and bleed.
Footsteps began to emerge in his peripheral hearing, prompting him to halt his assault on the inanimate victim.  
“Bi-Han?” Kuai Liang asked confused. 
“What?!” he snapped.
“Are you not tired? Y/N must be waiting.”
“That’s none of your concern” Bi-Han scowled. 
Kuai Liang sighed. He had hoped marriage would melt his brother’s harsh demeanor, at least a bit. 
“Maybe. I don’t know what transpired between you two, but what use does sulking here have?”
Bi-Han clenched his jaw. His younger brother always knew how to get on his nerves. “Stop interfering with matters you know nothing about.” 
“Fine, I may not know what has caused you to come all the way out here, but I’d at least advise you to act rational.”
Bi-Han wanted to snap back at his brother but held his tongue. How was he being irrational? He was stomping out any chance of falling for such a trap by burying these irrational thoughts. When he didn’t respond. His brother continued his tirade. “Y/N married you out of a duty to her own family and tradition. Just as you have. Do you think she finds this easy?”
Bi-Han grit his teeth. “How would I know?” 
“You’d know if you spoke to her. You both took a vow to be tied to one another for eternity. At least become familiar with her.” Kuai Liang sighed. His brother had always been on the serious side, and his stoic nature only skyrocketed after their mother’s passing. They had always been close and as time passed he often found it hard to connect with his brother like this. 
Bi-Han didn’t respond for a moment, but he wondered if his brother ever dealt with such distractions. Yet an accusatory statement left his mouth instead, “You are not married, you wouldn’t understand what I’m dealing with.” 
“No, but I have someone I wish to marry.” 
At that, Bi-Han’s head snapped towards his sibling. Since when did he have a ‘special someone’? “Why would you even consider such a thing? I did it out of necessity to take on the role of Grandmaster. Why welcome a distraction into your life if your first priority is loyalty to the Lin Keui?”
Kuai Liang gave him a confused look before letting out a laugh that Bi-Han considered offensive. 
“What’s so funny?” He scowled. 
“Nothing. It’s just, why would I ever consider my lover a distraction? She motivates me to do better for her but also the clan.” Kuai Liang explained and stepped closer. 
Bi-Han couldn’t wrap his head around it. “I suppose your relationship is unique.” 
“How so?” 
“My wife distracts me, I can’t focus, she makes me feel weak.”
Kuai Liang crossed his arms and leaned back towards the wall. “What has she explicitly done to distract or harm you.” 
“She occupies my thoughts constantly”  Bi-Han stated in an irked tone of voice. 
Kuai Liang had to shield the look of stupor that threatened to show itself. “So she has done nothing to intentionally harm you.” Bi-Han didn’t respond. He didn’t know how to. He supposed his brother did have a slight point. She had not intentionally done anything to weaken him. As far as he knew anyway.
“You’re considering her in a negative light, that’s why she serves as a distraction. You ought to use the thought of her to drive your ambitions.” 
Kuai Liang stepped forward and placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder before his brother could counter. “She married you, she is Lin Kuei now. What she does will be for your betterment and the betterment of the clan. Don’t overthink it.” 
Before Bi-Han can counter him, Kuai Liang is practically dashing out of the door. He can hear his brother yelling at him in the distance but that’s all he can offer in words of advice right now. He is tired and his bed is practically calling to him. He would be lying if he said he didn’t worry for him. He was so closed off, and although he never said it, he often found Bi-Han’s behavior short-tempered and erratic. He would never show signs of weakness to any outsider and practically no one was privy to his thoughts or habits when he was distressed. Even their father had turned somewhat of a blind eye to Bi-Han’s behavior. Not that he thought their father had intentionally done so, especially when Bi-Han curated such a strong demeanor for the world around him. Their mother’s passing had hurt their father to a great degree and so he was dealing as best he could behind closed doors, and Bi-Han’s evolution into growing colder was gradual. He and Tomas grew up with Bi-Han, they could tell when he would be plagued with insecurities or troubles. 
He knows Bi-Han didn’t want this marriage, he knows that his older brother keeps a high guard up. But he also knows that Bi-Han aches for something that he can't quite pinpoint just yet.
—------------
You wake up to Bi-Han missing from his side of the bed again. You frown, you had hoped that last night would have shown your desire to grow closer. You switch the side you’re lying on and pause. You reach out your hand to brush your fingers gently against the petals of the flowers that lay at your bedside. The flowers are familiar and the fragrance is calming. The bouquet itself is small, tied together with a simple twine, but it makes you smile nonetheless.
—------------
Thanks for reading 💙
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sillygoosealert · 6 months
Note
UUUUUH SAD ANGST SAD ANGST IDEA
Terminally Ill reader who doesn’t treat it and hides it from Bi-Han because he’ll think it’s weakness, and he’s super hard on them for being ‘lazy’ until one day he wakes up to them cold beside him in bed (Bi-Han pov for extra angst)
STOP THIS INES GETTING TO ME
Are you ignoring me? Answer me..
Bi-han angst, no comfort
It’s 4:00 in the morning, it’s time to get up
However, you have trouble even processing that
It's like you’re in rim sleep- 24/7
This upsets Bi-Han greatly, as his spouse, you should be better than this
And he lets you know this
Every day
And every time he sees you
After his habit of nit-picking started, you looked even more exhausted 
He would feel pity and let you take a break- if you hadn't started to slack off
Maybe you thought he didn't notice when you stopped to go dry heave for a minute and then continue
Or when you sat down for a minute after only an hour or two of work
He did.
And he wasn't thrilled about the whispers and looks not only you, but he got after you started
Most of them were indifferent- or pitiful
And he hated that
People were pitting you for no reason, not one good enough at least
When you got to your room that night, he snapped
‘Do you know what I saw today?’ he hisses, furrowing his eyebrows
‘No, what did you see hun?’ you are whispering, not sure what he's mad at- or who he’s mad at
‘You sitting down, while on duty’ now he’s fuming, he can’t help when he gets mad. He has his fathers rage
‘I had to take a moment to rest, it isn’t easy working for hours at a time’ You look tired, you’re pale, skin sunken in around your eyes
He noticed, but he noticed other people just like doing their work too
‘Are you pregnant?’
‘What? No, I would tell you if I was pregnant.’ you look..upset? If anyone should be upset it should be him
‘Then you have no excuse. Nothing is stopping you from doing your work.’
You don't say anything as you reach for the door
‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m not sleeping with you tonight.’
He says nothing as you leave
The next day he sees you, yet says nothing
He's too busy anyways
You come back to your room that night, you're actually there before he arrives
Pathetic
He says nothing as you shiver and cough and wheeze
‘I love you’
He hears you whisper not long after he gets into bed
‘Get some rest, I know you need it’
That was his way of saying it back, you knew it
He was far from pleased with your recent performance- but he would never let you think he didn't love you
‘Can you say it back?’
‘Why? We've talked about this before..’
He has told you he isn't fond of saying it
It isn't him
‘Goodnight Bi-Han.’
You're ignoring his question
He doesn't know why, and it upsets him
So he turns away from you as he closes his eyes and eventually falls asleep
When he wakes up and turns to you, your back is facing him
He shakes you gently
But no response
So he shakes you a little harder
No response
‘You have to get up today, I'll give you a few more minutes but that's it.’
After he dresses he goes back for you
‘I know you're awake, and I know you're upset..’
He cares about you, he really does. He wants to pour his heart out every time he has the pleasure of holding you in his arms
He wants to say ‘i love you’ every night and every morning, to make sure you remembered
He wants to start a family with you, and hold you close when you are with child- with his child
And he wants to tell you that
But he won't, or maybe he just can't
‘And we can talk about it later, however we have to get up’
You don't even move to look at him
‘Are you ignoring me?’
Maybe he should understand- give you space and time
But he doesn't understand, he didn't do anything in his eyes
‘Answer me. Are you ignoring me?’
The silence is loud and he stomps over to the bed, forcefully turning you over
Tears stain your cheeks as your eyes are glazed over
An empty look for a once-radiant person
Then he lets go of your cold, lifeless body
There is nothing left in you
It's gone- everything is gone and the world isn't spinning anymore
He isn't breathing
Or blinking
He's just staring
He didn't even realize he was backing up until he backed into a wall
Then he goes to the bed a checks for a pulse
Nothing
He picks up your body and cradles it
His own tears now staining your face
He knows he couldn't have changed you dying
Well, maybe he could have
But he really wishes you knew he at least cared about you
But you didn't
And you never would
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🎀
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fsfghgee · 1 year
Text
Band of Brothers
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<___________________________________________>
It was a cold night, the Lin Kuei brothers walked through the trees of the hill's forest, focused in completing an investigative mission related to recent moves by the Tengu clan. There was suspicion that they had joined forces with sorcerers and had begun kidnapping children from the village to offer them in sacrifice.
As they advanced, the ground became rougher and hillier.
-We are still very far from their territory… - Kuai Liang commented behind his older brother, sighing tiredly after having been without sleep for almost three days. Following in Bi-Han's footsteps, he tried hard not to show weakness.
-Let's find a place to spend the night and we'll continue at dawn. - Bi-Han decided with forced indifference in his voice. He had noticed the tiredness in Kuai Liang's voice and Tomas' silence, indicating his effort in order to keep up their pace, and not worry his elders. It wasn't Tomas' first mission, but he was still very young and inexperienced, and his lack of innate supernatural abilities already left him physically weaker and vulnerable compared to his brothers.
-But we must continue. - Worried about Bi-Han's change of route, the pyromancer stayed behind, looking at his brothers. - Lives are at stake, we can't afford to…
-Silence, Kuai Liang! - Bi-Han approached the younger one, his hard stare and his stern voice, trying hard not to show his annoyance for the young pyromancer's stubbornness. - Father put me in charge and as your older brother, I say we will find a place to rest!
-There is a cave not far from here…-Tomas says timidly, remembering the place he had already seen there when he wandered as a child on hunts with his biological family.
-Lead the way, Tomas.
The fire made by Kuai Liang reflected in Tomas' blue eyes, the youngest of the Lin Kuei warmed himself sitting closer to it, listening to the older ones talk about their mother and how much she was missed, especially on nights like those…
-If mother were here, she would tell you to listen to me and obey. I'm your brother! I just want what's best for both of us!
-If father were here, he would tell us to continue without complaining. Our delay can cost lives, Bi-Han!
-And none of them are more important than yours! -Tomas looked at Bi-Han, amazed at how passionate he sounded. It wasn't difficult to notice Bi-Han's love for his younger brother, although always acting tough and distant, he cared a lot for Kuai Liang. And Tomas wanted to feel that same love from him, but no matter how hard he tried in training and missions to impress him, all he always received from the older man was coldness. And after so many years, his hopes of one day it would ever change were dwindling every day. - We will complete the mission, but I need you by my side in your best shape.
Bi-Han reached out to hold his brother's hand, who held his hand for a bit before cuddling. Lying down on his back, Bi-Han let Kuai rest his head on his broad chest. Watching Kuai starts blinking slowly, drowsy and comfortable with the cold emanating from his older brother. Both extremely familiar to the abnormal temperature of each one…
It was comforting.
It didn't take long for Tomas to see them fall asleep. Also drowsy, he crawled into the empty space on Bi-Han's side and lay there. Looking carefully as he approached the older man's cold body, careful not to wake him up, he lay his head on Bi-Han's chest and snuggled up to him in the same way Kuai Liang did.
It wasn't the first time Bi-Han felt the young orphan invade his and his younger brother's personal space. He would never trust Tomas and his naivety, always worrying about the safety of the clan and Kuai Liang, he feared that one day his good guy facade would break and he would decide to avenge the murder of his biological family, if he let his guard down...
However, in the middle of the night, when he felt Tomas start to shiver, he got up carefully so as not to wake any of the younger ones and brought them closer so that the heat of Kuai Liang could warm Tomas up. Telling himself how useless the orphan would be if he caught a cold. And as a leader, he would be responsible if something happened to him.
One more scolding he had to listen from his father would drive him crazy!
Since his mother's death, he hasn't felt the same.
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barbiedreams-posts · 5 days
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My headcanons for EVERY (I think) Mortal Kombat 1 character
— Liu Kang is a big fan of Chinese food, because well, in the previous timelines he was Chinese, so he constantly goes to Madam Bo's restaurant to eat.
— Johnny Cage is a great dramatic actor, but unfortunately, Hollywood studios always cast him as comedic characters or male characters who are himbos, wasting his potential as a dramatic actor.
— Kenshi met Suchin after saving her from being attacked by thugs in Tokyo, and the two's connection was almost instantaneous, with Suchin agreeing to run away with him after Kenshi left the Yakuza.
— Raiden has a huge crush on Kitana, and constantly draws pictures of the two of them kissing (he's a cartoonist btw)
— Kung Lao loves Chinese and South Korean comedy dramas, his favorite South Korean comedy drama is "True Beauty".
— Kuai Liang is extremely protective of Harumi, like, if Harumi gets a scar, he won't rest until the person who did it pays dearly. When he was dating Cyrax, he was also quite protective of her as well (He's not a sexist who thinks women are too defenseless to protect themselves, he just wants to keep Harumi safe because he loves her so much).
— Bi-Han trusts women more than men, thanks to the complicated relationship he had with his father and the loving relationship he had with his mother (thanks to his daddy issues, he doesn't trust masculine nature very much, even though he is also a man).
— Shang Tsung is not a "victim of Liu Kang's intrigues", this guy is a sociopath to the core!
— Tanya is not Mileena's first lover, she had a girlfriend as a teenager, the daughter of an archduke, but was forced to end the relationship because the archduke's daughter had to marry a man, breaking Mileena's heart.
— Kitana is a voracious reader, she loves books, especially about the history of the Earthrealm and Seido, her favorite historical figure of Earthrealm is Queen Mary Stuart, a queen of Scotland, reflecting the thinking of some outworlders who think that she should be empress in place of Mileena, just as some 16th-century English Catholics wanted Mary to be Queen of England in place of her cousin, Queen Elizabeth I.
— I don't usually do SMUT headcanons, but I like to think that Sindel and Jerrod had an active sex life, and she never married any man after Jerrod because she only liked to have sex with him, she herself was impressed that she only had the twins and not like, three more children!
— The souls within Ermac have been in the living forest for so long that over time they have become one big family.
— Quan Chi was a thief when he was young and was sentenced to work in the gold mines as a way of paying for his crimes, which is why he hates Sindel so much.
— Tanya was not given to the Umgadi when she was a child, she was actually stolen from her mother's arms like several other Umgadi (a bit cruel, but I wanted to make it similar to Marvel's black widows).
— Li Mei has always been in love with Sindel, but she never had the courage to express her feelings.
— Takeda is destined to meet and fall in love with Jacqui, even though in this timeline she is not Jax's daughter.
— Sektor is a lesbian and has a fraternal relationship with Bi-Han.
— Cyrax can speak several African languages, including Zulu and Arabic.
— I'm going to join @rasta-bot AU that Nitara is also a lesbian, there's a 19th century irish lesbian book called "Carmilla" that I really like, it's about a sapphic vampire, just like Nitara.
— Reiko was a mommy's boy, just like Bi-Han.
— Shao suffers from narcissistic personality disorder.
— Syzoth and Ashrah's love language is physical caresses, such as kisses on the forehead and cheek.
— Ashrah is pansexual (yes, another wlw woman, it's "Mortal sapphic Kombat" for me) she has always felt lonely, so she would like any romantic companionship, no matter the gender.
— Baraka prays to Delia every day that a cure for Tarkat will be discovered (this is actually canon btw).
— Slavery is (unfortunately) legal in Seido, and Havik was enslaved (also canon), so he is an anarchist.
— Tomas is a polyglot, he can speak Czech, Chinese, English and Japanese.
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ohnoitstbskyen · 1 year
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hey skyen, you mentioned about kuina that she seemed transmasc to you and in my experience i think more people see zoro as a transmasc person, the reason being is his want/need to break gender stereotypes rather than enforce them. through kuina, his story to become the greatest swordman is inherently about breaking gender roles. and personally i think a lot of transmascs see this as their relationship to cis women. (especially in how kuina pushes zoro into the "weak" category with him and parrots sexism without knowing how it affects him) i also think his story is WAY more satisfying from a gender perspective if you see him as transmasc, regardless of if its intended or not. (the truth is that theyre BOTH transmasc, actually, why not?) (idk if you read fanfiction, probably not, but the fanfiction Burning Man on ao3 really goes in depth with transmasc zoro. its also the best fanfiction ive personally read for op)
Yeah, I can absolutely see that.
On related lines, I've also seen an interpretation of the story that Kuina and Zoro are the same person, and that Zoro's flashback depicts a metaphorical series of events rather than literal, where he battles with his assigned identity over and over as a child and can never "beat" her, never overcome or break out from under her.
But when he realizes that his assigned identity is miserable and in pain, and that all that even she wants is to be a boy, he has to go through the trauma of seeing her die, and go out into the world as truly himself. Through that lens his quest to become the greatest swordsman in the world is, in part, a quest to spite every motherfucker on Earth who told his past self that he would never be able to transcend his assigned gender.
So long as you assume that Kuina's father is playing along with it to the point of setting up a grave for his dead daughter who never was, it does explain why he would let Zoro take away the Wado Ichimonji, an incredibly important and valuable family heirloom, and treat Zoro so much like a direct son.
The Three Sword Style already represents Zoro carrying Kuina's spirit and memory with him always - his two-sword style in the hands, her one sword style in his mouth - and in this reading the style would be carrying the memory and pain of his childhood with him, and letting it empower him to become greater than anyone without his experiences could ever be.
It's one of the nice things about One Piece, I think, that it is open to these kinds of interpretations. Luffy being aro/ace is basically canon, which I appreciate a lot, and nobody can tell me Nami and Vivi didn't have a mutual crush going during Alabasta, and there is no understanding of Ace I will accept where he wasn't the most bi/pan wandering disaster the Grand Line had ever seen since Roger.
I do hope the actual explicit text of the manga will catch up to that someday... I was really happy to finally see some actual transmasc rep with Yamato, and a bit more playfulness with gender in general in characters like Izou and Kikunojo in the Wano Country arc, and honestly canonically transmasc Zoro or Crocodile would be enriching to both of those characters, I think.
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jawz · 9 months
Text
i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the way my ethnicity affected the way i was gendered as a child, my drive to transition, and even my detransition…
as a hispanic growing up with my white mom and white stepdad and white brother and white extended family in scandinavian hell (minnesota), i always felt different, always felt wrong. (my parents divorced as a baby, and my dad and his family, cuban and italian, all live in florida.) my neighborhood wasn’t so bad; it was way more diverse than the metro area itself. growing up i had mixed friends, i had friends with curly hair… but us trailer park kids were only a fraction of the population of our schools and district. a sea of blonde hair. there were times in elementary school i would literally pray to god to make my hair straight, make my eyes blue. grown-ups touched my hair and always asked “is it naturally curly?”. my classmates urged me to straighten it and by age 13 it was part of my ridiculously time-consuming “feminizing” beauty rituals.
much earlier, by the age of 8 or 9, i already had thick, dark hair growing on my legs. other kids, boys and girls alike, called me “gorilla girl”, faked gagging when i wore shorts, insisted i was actually a boy. that one became more and more common as i came into my personality: bold, class clown, competitive with the boys. (always wanting to charm the girls, but i didn’t recognize that back then.)
my mustache was there by 8, as well. just a little peach fuzz above my lip but dark enough to notice. are you even a girl? my mom would spread wax over her own face and soon began waxing my stache as well. it hurt so badly. i put up with it because she said it would make the kids stop teasing me. of course i was a girl- she was a woman and she had peach fuzz too!… but i felt self-conscious at the fact that my body hair was so much more noticeable, even as a child. my mother’s hair is very thin, straight, lighter brown; her complexion is warmer than mine, pink where mine is olive, green and yellow. i worried you could see the strands about to burst through. i was worried that to be a girl- a woman- i must hide parts of myself every day. i must cover the shoots of grass, the weeds that reveal that i’m not fit for society, that whisper i’m wild and untamed.
it wasn’t actually until i was 18 at least that i actually started to consider myself latino. i had sometimes said ‘hispanic’ growing up, as that’s what my family in florida called themselves; they referred to themselves as “spanish”, which i found out was not quite true after compiling my family tree and discovering that those ancestors emigrated from havana. in their minds they were white: “descended from spanish royalty” (as if!!)… i had spent my youth constantly trying to claim solely whiteness, confused as to why everyone was asking me “are you mexican?” “are you jewish?” “are you middle eastern?” - even though inside i think i knew. i knew my family didn’t look like me. i resented my surname being changed to Lind when i was five, my stepdad’s name, in order to give me the same name as the rest of them. despite my apparent envy of swedes and norwegians i knew it wasn’t my name; i still stood out terribly. i glared at myself in the mirror every day, i never could move past how the kids at school said my eyes were the color of shit, that my hair looked like pubes, that i must have had a sex change without being told because that would explain the mustache, the aggression…
by the time i was fourteen i was entirely primed to accept an alternative explanation to what was “wrong” with me. my sexuality was becoming more and more apparent but before i could ever come out as lesbian or even bi, i had discovered what it meant to be trans. i was so immediately certain that this was the key, THIS was why everyone said i didn’t fit in, THIS was why my behavior wasn’t girly, THIS was why i wanted to date girls. it was 2011, still deep in the “brain sex” era of the trans community, and i was sure without a shadow of a doubt that i was physically female, mentally male. all that needed to be done was to “correct” my body and bring it in line with my brain. despite the fact that very few people knew what transition actually was back then, i genuinely assumed it would make sense to everyone else, too: they had told me i wasn’t ‘really’ a girl so many times i had no trouble believing it.
transition, of course, did not suddenly de-latinize me LOL. first i became a total Other, outside of both the minnesotan ethnic norms and the gender+sex norms; eventually, with hormones and surgery at a very young age, i was able to pass as a boy, but by the time i could grow actual full-on facial hair, i realized i was still the pan-latin american enigma to people around me. multiple times someone would call me “sanchez” as some sort of attempted insult or joke. police looked at me differently than they had before. shop owners followed me, accused me of shoplifting. and sometimes, the white girls i dated told me that i was way cooler than all the boring white boys they knew. one girl even called me “exotic” to my face. it was, apparently, a compliment.
when i was 21 i heard that my girlfriend had referred to me to others as “a POC who identifies as white”. it felt as though she didn’t even know me at all. i’d never claimed either of those things to her.
moving to the west coast (socal specifically, where being latino/a is not considered ‘abnormal’) illuminated a lot of the bizarre and unnatural racial expectations of my midwest upbringing; i think by this point i was beginning to realize what so many things from my childhood had meant. that they weren’t really saying i was a boy. they were saying we don’t like girls who look like you, and we’d rather not have you included in our category.
it took me another three years to fully reckon with this. by the time i decided to detransition i had a much better understanding of the circumstances of my life; conversations with close friends who are also latina and have walked similar paths to me, heard similar insults, similar “compliments”, opened my eyes to the fact that i was not alone. i no longer feel weird for thinking the race/ethnicity boxes on government forms are hopelessly reductive. i know who i am and who i am not.
(around this time, i happened upon some old pictures of my dad’s side of the family. beautiful and glamorous women: adela, my uncle’s mother, the piano player; melanie, my aunt, the wife, hostess, and addict; lauren and andrea, my cousins, the restauranteurs; stella, my dad’s mamma, the widow and matriarch. and on all their faces, thick dark eyebrows, and, yes, that ever-familiar peach fuzz. i swear it healed something in my soul. despite my lack of beauty and glamor, we are not so different after all.)
that’s not to say all things are easy now. i’ve spent three years living as a GNC woman and if that wasn’t enough to confirm most all of my hypotheses on people’s perceptions of me, i don’t know what is.
detrans spaces (like most trans spaces) are overwhelmingly white- or at least that’s who dominates conversation. i see SO much downplaying of the things that naturally hairy women go through societally. i see trans allies who purport to be “okay” with detransitioners, saying “what’s the big deal? if you took testosterone you can just go off it and get laser hair removal!! :)” as if laser isn’t expensive as hell, painful as hell, and also WAY more of a process for a woman with dark curly hair than it is for one with straight blonde hair lmfao!!! i see detrans women obsessed with removing all traces of hair from their bodies (even though most of them clearly don’t have a neverending five o’clock shadow like some of us do! my lower face has a constant blue-green disturbance under the surface which makes female spaces incredibly daunting) and insulting the rest of us for being ugly and hairy and making no effort to look like women or what the fuck ever. basically, a lot of people who claim to support us are just racists and essentialists and believe that sex is visual and not biological…🤨
anyway… i guess my main takeaways from all this are:
1. please stop acting like detransition is an entirely internal process and that it’s easy for all of us to be seen as our sex again (some of us like. actually transitioned and passed as the opposite sex), or that potential physical interventions aren’t incredibly invasive and difficult
2. stop assuming all transition and detransition journeys follow your own experience of lifelong whiteness and hairlessness
3. it is a distinct experience to be regularly de-gendered or denied your sex, PRIOR to ever thinking of yourself as literally trans. many trans/detrans people had this happen to us (we were once the vast majority of trans people). but many did not, and generally shock others when they begun breaking gender norms. i really think people from the second group often have trouble understanding that for the first group, changing gender expression is basically a bandaid over an abscess… we have lived entire lifetimes being denied our sex, being told our bodies are not “truly” ours, that there is someone else inside trying to break out. kicked out of the bathroom, the changing room, alienated from single-sex peer groups. transition just flips this experience and instead separates us from our preferred gender group, reinforcing the feeling that we have no place, anywhere.
race/ethnicity, being homosexual or bisexual, mental illness stigma, disability, and low economic class all play an additional role in this. stop perpetuating this and denying us our biological sex.
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bruciemilf · 2 years
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"Estranged son Jason" "Estranged son Dick" you are all WRONG, TIM is the estranged son. Jason breaks down crying if Bruce doesn't send him a paragraph of a good morning text every day.
Tim is never home unless he physically can't avoid it. Tim doesn't visit unless everything's going to shit and he has to do damage control and run interference to make sure nobody storms off in a moody fit and drops off the map for months. Tim pulls the you're not my dad card immediately Bruce tries to parent him in a way he doesn't like (literally any way that isn't extremely hands-off) and Bruce can't even say anything to the contrary because Tim's emancipated and Bruce was his legal guardian for less than two years.
Jason comes home for the week before and after every holiday, no matter how much he grumbles, and goes all sullen whenever he doesn't have his pile of thirty-three or more gifts. Jason handmakes Bruce father’s day gifts and sulks whenever Bruce glances at anyone else's for a second more.
Tim has to be begged and bargained with and blackmailed into coming for even just the day of the holiday—left to him, he would just send gifts and be done with it. Tim says him even showing up to Father's Day itself is enough of a gift, and gives Bruce a store-bought card and Batman tie.
Tim's difficult for the sake of being difficult. Jason’s difficult because he wants attention. Tim would be happy if Bruce only made him do bi-monthly check-ins digitally and the occasional gala for the public. Jason demands Bruce’s time and effort but only in the way he wants it.
The reason is simple; Tim grew up an only child with no supervision as long as he got good grades and didn't cause any trouble his parents would have to deal with. Jason was the youngest child to an overachiever older brother for years and was used to everything being his way.
GODDDDD FOR THE LOVE OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BRITNEY SPEARS CAN I GET MORE SPOILED BRAT " i NEED bruce to pay attention to me 24/7/365 or I'll die again" JASON CONTENT?????
LIKE, GOD, I LOVE THIS; Listen. Sometimes older children are youngest sibling coded and it doesn't fucking matter Jason is the second oldest. This motherfucker gets away with more shit than DAMIAN and that says a LOT
LOGICALLY, (and this isn't me wanting Jason to act like the kid he never got to be, what are you talking about) the person he'd have MOST beef with would be Damian for stealing his spotlight as the youngest.
He'll absolutely act like the big brother we all know he is and love, BUT. he crosses the line at Bruce.
He sees Damian wear one of HIS old sweaters that Bruce knitted for him and they both threw a tantrum while Bruce sighed in the background till he passed out. " MY sweater."
" MY Baba."
" THAT'S IT-"
Tim????? Tim doesn't have a love language with a solid foundation yet, and he's just not used to (or expected) Bruce to be so attentive?
What do you mean you want to hear about my day? What do you mean you made a snack for me? What do you mean you love me regardless of my accomplishments?
AND YOU KNOW, I hear the " Dick drags his siblings to the manor because Bruce loves their company and loves seeing all the baby birds in one nest" crowd. I LOVE you people.
But I'm begging. Imagine you're Tim Drake and you get a furious message from your older brother crime lord about you missing family brunch.
" Literally how fucking hard it is to call and say you won't be there, fuck off Papi cut his finger trying to make that dumbass muffin you like, call home you piece of shit. Love you."
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weeb-polls-with-pip · 9 months
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Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 2
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Propaganda:
Kyouya -
"what's there to say? you know him. you love him. vote kyoya."
Rinnosuke -
"Rinnosuke Morichika lives in an overly-cluttered curio shop, and has a special interest in making magical inventions. Since he doesn’t live in a modern setting— but a pocket dimension slightly disconnected to the outside world— whenever a modern item shows up in his shop via spiriting away, he can obsess over it for extended periods of time. He is quite blunt without realizing it, even to people he cares for. He also has a special ability to generally understand the name and use of any item he touches (though this backfires sometimes, he thought a Gameboy was a doomsday device once)."
Fuuta -
"okay look theres so many fucking signs hes autistic. he cannot tell tone and often doesn't know how to react to stuff which is a major point in his character id say. he was asked if he remembered his victim's name (hes a murderer. oops!) and his response was something along the lines of "Of course I do. I saw it everywhere." because he did not understand that they wanted to know what it was since it wasnt directly stated. im convinced that hoodies are a comfort object of his because i genuinely have not seen him without one except for one time. also hes canonically a chronically online twitter user. also he gets really passionate about his interests. also not really related but everyone in the fandom agrees hes transgender but no one can agree on what way. ive seen every single gender hc for this dude. vote kajiyama fuuta for this sopping wet poor little meow meow of a man."
Hansum -
"He's just a very odd and strange lad, can't remember names well, is an alien (mild spoiler), he's very popular, obsessed with Doritos and becomes their mascot, just refers to everyone as humans which is a mood, and is completely socially oblivious."
Miyuki -
"Relatable neurodivergent-Gifted Child syndromeTM case with all the superiority-inferiority complex that results. A chronic show-off and scheming strategist with a lowkey hopeless romantic dramatic aspect to him, silly cool and pathetic in a very hilarious way. Shirogane has a trademark glare purely thanks to his eyebags as he runs on coffee everyday having to support his family with multiple jobs in addition to class, on top of student council president duties. He's kind and an obsessive perfectionist who fills his entire wall with the weirdest motivational posters. Shirogane is very devoted to his love. He likes penguins (Kaguya and him is peak asd4asd and bi4bi btw)."
Kirito -
"He's autistic and bisexual as hell, and there's a good bit of trans coding in him 🥺
Autism coding: Bro's literally got a sword and swordfighting hyperfixation where, despite playing a game that focuses around guns, he still chooses to use a sword!! We also see him completely missing Asuna's flirting at first (he tells her she could have just checked her friendlist to make sure he was alive, in response to her tracking him down to see him)
Bi coding: Dual wielding swords is literally a euphemism in Japan for bisexuality; and Kirito initially tries to hide the fact he can dual wield out of fear of how the people he's close to will view him (and once he reveals it to them and they accept it, he begins to be more open about it.) Also in the Underworld arc he becomes very close with Eugeo to the point of living with him (and sharing a bed on occasion), and there are several parallels between Eugeo and Asuna, and they're so gay for each other that despite the anime having only a toned down version of it, they're still very affectionate (Also of note is that Eugeo is the only guy in SAO canon to consistently have a 'laying in bed with Kirito' talk CG in the spinoff games) (There's more but it's spoilers and this is a shortened version)
Trans coding: Kirito is very trans coded in the light novel (which shows Kirito's thoughts in much greater detail than the anime) Aincrad arc reveals that Kirito explicitly Does Not Like his real face, and dislikes how feminine it looks (he mentions that its led to him and his cousin being mistaken for sisters) And in Phantom Bullet arc, he's visibly uncomfortable at being mistaken for a girl due to his avatar's appearance, and in response to being misgendered he briefly panics and checks to make sure his chest flat (at least in the anime adaptation) 🏳️‍⚧️"
Shirou -
"Has one goal in life and ignores almost everything in favor of trying to fulfil that goal."
Keith -
"Speaks in a way that is seen as weird and has mannerisms others think is funny. He struggles with not being taken seriously by others because of this and many of the things others say goes over his head. He struggles to connect with other people because of these things. His entire arc in the second film is about him deciding that the people who don't accept him for who he is aren't worth it and that he's going to continue being himself."
Junpei -
"for other fans of this series, I know the more obvious representation here may be Luou, Junpei is So Good. his special interest is ballet and he has so many hangups involving how his family sees him and how other boys his age interpret him to the point that his idea of masculinity is extremely narrow and he enforces social rules on himself to mask and keep people from realizing that he loves something that Isn't Manly. he misinterprets social cues and takes things literally, like assuming that when Miyako asked him to dance with her she meant Right This Minute rather than as a pair in the studio. for some reason the point where he cuts his hair super short to prove his devotion to ballet is also sticking with me, I think maybe it's the combination of the way it's normal for boys/men in Japan to do that, yet Junpei didn't realize that kind of attitude/action didn't suit ballet at all? he wasn't aware that the context was completely different. Junpei also doesn't act or pretend very well, he's gotta put his whole entire ass into his roles, which he then proceeds to get TOO into and cause a lot of trouble, without giving too much away! he's really relatable to me as someone who's socially anxious but very skilled at masking, and seeing him become more comfortable with himself and start to show how he really feels is so inspiring to me."
Kazuma -
"He may be (wildly) misguided but his intentions are good kinda! He’s just the Guy of all time idk how to explain it."
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pensbridge · 3 months
Text
S3 First Reactions 🪞🐝🦋🪶
❤️ Already fangirled about the whole engagement night - the hugs, Hyacinth!!!
Colin not being able to stay away for that long after their engagement announcement and immediately excusing himself at Anthony's suggestion is exactly what I'd expect of him. ×
❤️ Colin calling out Portia. "out of love." 😢
❤️ "OUR BRIDGERTON NAME" is so important, because it's reiterating that Penelope's getting to choose her family when the one she was born into is so awful
He was so nervous when she didn't respond to their new home.
"Because I love you...Pen." 😢
"Are you sure?" PEN, no 😭😭😭
❤️ That mirror moment (i love how he said "the way your eyes shine when you look at me..." callback to her complimenting his eyes) "...And other things..."
bxtch they stuck with the thread of Colin not opening his eyes to stay in the dream and Pen checking to see if it's real when they kiss
The eye acting of Nicola and Luke! (they are being doe eyes x the intensity of his gaze or w/e it is)
The gulp <3 Nicola
"You are so beautiful."
❤️ The first time!!!
"I hope my husband.." - Fran, AND John -"I would not dream of it" 😯 asdfjgkglyl
Kate & El (got their s2 vibes)
Ahh, the "Do I look a mess?" "You are my mess" was delivered so perfectly.
cute, cute, cute riding through town in carriage (no personal space)
The hand kiss in front of portia!
Colin handing Eloise the spoon 🤣
❤️ the charades game - the cutest thing (they're holding hands)
Also, fuckin Anthony being tooo competitive 😆
Peneloise rights! The back 'n forth in the game 😬
The panic attack was high-octane; the concern in the scene was cute xxx
❤️ Fran looking at John & Violet hating this story lol.....and then, me noticing her realization to another child in love
❤️ The look & collar tug in the church (polin is so dorky & domestic already)
❤️ Soooooo....the spontaneous dance in the church is better than I thought it was gonna be...their goofy footwork, spinning in a multitude of circles "dancing with MY FUTURE WIFE in THE CHURCH WHERE WE WILL BE MARRIED" bye
Part 1, the ton jokes and bullies them and Part 2, we just see people that can't help but get happy and giddy when they see their young love. Violet and Lady Danbury awwing at polin and embracing them in the park!!!
❤️ "I am going to look at the very fine wainscoting" -John, please! 😅
"Not every attachment must be dramatic and hard-fought." - Francesca 😢 bby, you're right
I legit went from this man has the crazy eyes ppl talk about to *tired eyes Wide-Open*... Bi Benedict?! ..I'm getting Bi Benedict?! (I was like: Why?Is?He?Staring?at?him?Like?That? (i knew i sensed the vibes! The Best Surprise!!!)
"This dance does not compare to a private waltz in the church where we'll be married." She's SO cute! "Well perhaps we shall have to add some flourish." Stop. km now (that's so him! he is so dumb; they're married already and dumb as they should be! ×)
Props again with the deaf representation & the sass when Miss Cressida enters the ball
"A scandal writer for a daughter. Can you imagine?" - Portia (i'm sorry i love this whole sequence)
Polin gets more perfectly dork w/stepping on feet being included during their dance at The Mondrich Ball (that's very them)
Thank god for Bridgerton giving us hour long episodes in this 2nd part.
❤️ Eloise admitting she's wrong (and so casually) 😢 ps i think they both have faults but i just love this
❤️ "The column began because I felt powerless in my own home." - Pen (well, i'm glad she said it!)
ok, now Pen admits her faults. all is right again
❤️ Irish accent again
"You are Lady Whistledown." This reveal was everything
omg, was this the scene where he wasn't supposed to cry, but did?! What would I have done without this reaction in such an important moment?! 😢
I love how Penelope highlighted the voiceless as she said she should with Eloise in her new edition of Whistledown
Violet to Agatha - "..but I hope you know that my care for you is not contingent on your aid." 😢 (she sees her)
This whole fight outside the modiste's. 😭
"I have been careful. You have been foolish.."
❤️ "I LOVE YOU" and he was shocked (an 'ily for you' moment) [i was not expecting the follow up to his line to go like that]
❤️ They deserve a hot passionate makeout before they are married where they get completely caught up after fighting.
"What am I chopped liver?" yes Anthony in this situation you are.
❤️ Violet calling in Kanthony for Colin marital advice
❤️ Yellow
The look at each other down the aisle.
❤️ Vows. Weddings on this show are usually so unhappy, but I appreciate that Colin is still so reassuring & clearly beaming about this when there is residual upset/confusion.
❤️ Eloise cryyinng
Ben's line to El- "..The friendship you have with Penelope... As the one you have with Colin." xxx (she doesn't wanna lose them)
"OUR child will always be a Bridgerton, but I should like them to know that they are a Sharma as well." fxck 🥲
"I should like to dance with my husband.."
The disappearing people in the wedding dance. like they're the only 2 ppl in the room! (Bridgerton either has it out for me [to cry] or loves me so much)
ANTHONY 👁👁 Marcus & Violet
Colin's hand caressing on Pen's face at the end of the dance they're really coming for me (bro did he almost kiss her?!??? i freaked out; had to rewind)
The queen excusing all non-Bridgertons + "Penelope, you are a Bridgerton now."
I kind of love that "Everyone except the Bridgertons are to scatter," but Lady Danbury's just there
GOD (I knew it as soon as it was coming) Eloise hugs Pen <3 🥲
ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod bi Ben
❤️ The hair grab!
This printer's assistant is on my shit list
SCOTLAND!!! JOHNCESCA
"It is not up to you what we do." 🤭❤️🤣 Colin mad but still ready to defend his wife (as it should be)
"I know my father was a good man and you are a good friend." Violet-Agatha feels
🙀He kept the letters!
💛John's words to Mama Bridgerton (her children's traits)
She said she was a fumbling mess in front of Edmund like 5 minutes before she is fumbling in front of Marcus
"Then how am I meant to help you?" ❤️ "By loving me."
❤️ Pen's love confession
"....to be a young lady to whom no one listens." - Pen!~Eloise shared look
Philippa + her "bugs"
😲 Lady Danbury x Pen (she knew! ❤️)
❤️ Colin's love confession (them crying together x)
El traveling with Johncesca
Mi-MICHAELA Stirling ... Bridgerton I swear if you are queerbaiting
OH MY GOD! Mama Bridgerton's words -FRANCESCA is fumbling her words.
❤️ Colin focussing on the hands in bed
Pen on top!
"Your father is always trying to distract with a clever word &..." "You think my smile is beguiling?" x "I could not have written without the help of Auntie Penelope." They are so obsessed with each other
Philomena?! did i hear that rt? omg Philippa
Yay we got confirmation of Colin's book! (I can only hope they're sitting in bed reading next season).
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m3r1m4r5u333 · 5 months
Text
I'm getting a bit tired of the fandom's overwhelming consensus that Eddie is surely gay even thought there are plenty reasons why his relationships with women would not have worked out.
Personally bisexuality makes more sense to me, and I feel like that's what the show is trying to show, too. And since the show already had "closeted gay man in a "straight" marriage, I think it would make more sense to go for Bi Eddie.
Because Eddie is different from Buck even if he's also bi. Religion. His family's expectations. Marriage. Parenthood. And I also think - earlier realization of sexuality even though he remains closeted. Fun fact: that's what bisexuals do! Even in supportive environments, we stay in the closet the most and the longest.
I'd really like for Eddie to be bi.
Eddie's the type of bi in disguise that the world is full of and nobody notices because the marriage with a woman would be a true one.
This matters because it seems like there's this odd idea that these bisexuals are doing fine in the closet. Why talk about them?
The reality is actually that according to just about every study, bisexuals are distinctly not fine.
The biphobia and erasure comes from all directions. People expect and understand the concept of heterosexuality and homosexuality well enough. Bisexuals...?
It's called the Double Closet. Expectation to either be straight, or gay, and if you're anything else you're just confused.
Also, bisexuals may not just have shitty parents. They also end up falling in love and marrying people who are biphobic. Fun times.
Anyway, I'm listing my reasons why Eddie being into women and men would make the most sense to me:
He agreed with Shannon that sex was never the issue for them.
His marriage to Shannon failing? He was young, the pregnancy was unplanned, he was pushed to marry a high-school sweetheart at young age and then facing the stress of trying to figure out how to raise a special needs child with her.
He went to a war, and returned traumatized. Trauma tends to make everything even harder.
Their mutual lack of trust and communication.
Meddling parents.
Perhaps... Being a closeted bisexual dating a woman who does not know.
Because that's one way to keep a partner at a distance - by hiding a part of yourself.
Losing a loved one, being afraid to love again.
Being pushed to date too soon after grief and trauma.
Falling for a male friend who he thinks is straight.
Being pushed to date someone else.
Oh and the panic attacks - Learning that his friends have died,
being shot by a sniper and thinking Buck was hurt,
ending up in a rapidly developing relationship with someone who is falling in love with him...
When he just likes her... but feels pressured to keep the relationship going anyway.
Because his son loves that person, and Eddie is programmed to go for marriage in every relationship he ends up in. Catholic guilt... They love marriage.
Family expecting him to be straight. Family pushing him to date despite him saying he isn't ready.
Being totally new in the dating world. No wonder he talks about performance anxiety and feeling like he needs to perform - his heart isn't in it.
Also he's probably never even been on dates. How to act on dates? He's not a teenager anymore, it's embarrassing and awkward to fumble and not know the dating culture.
Also when we first meet Eddie he's only been with one woman. Women aren't carbon copies. Sex can be intimate and awkward with someone new. Of course he'd be nervous.
Then finding out that his girlfriend was almost a nun... and being closeted bisexual!
And so on. Nothing actually says the man MUST be gay, and I feel weirded out by the insistence that he surely is gay.
I feel like... Maybe the show expected this, that people would dismiss his interest towards women, and wanted to make the queer community check their prejudice?
Because that episode which focuses on Eddie's fight club and has that super queer coded ice skating scene??
It's Hansel pushing Gretel away... How gay! Expect then we find out that Hansel was only scared that she would miss out an huge opportunity by staying with her. A role in the big leagues.
And that joke about Bobby being a hockey player and a figure skater??? And saying
"Who says you can't do both?" while a piece composed by Paganini - also famous for mastering both guitar and violin, plays.
The shot shows Buck AND Eddie, and Hen with Chimney looking and pointing at them in amazement.
Saying "We'll google for photos later!"
Maybe the implication of
"Who says you can't do both" being referred to isn't just
"Who says you can't do both women and men?"
.... but ALSO "Who says you can't write both of these characters to be bi?".
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