#so excited to see where it goes! but also if it keeps up this momentum or goes somewhere else entirely???

[bleachposting]

OSHI NO KO LITERALLY GOT ME LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

[jazeswhbhaven]

An Unsightly Guy | React | Spoilers

It's Day 7 and 8 lovelies!!! And boy do we have some great content ahead especially in day 8 lol

It seems though the momentum on this event has slowed down and I think it's mostly due to the fact that it's so drawn out and so far there's nothing really "exciting" happening.

But that seems to be the case with these events like the hype is high the first two to three days and after it's like s p l o o t.

I think if this was a Amy only event and the card had an adore mode people would be more excited about it.

But that's just my ramblings forgive me.

So we're back with Sitri being on his BS when seeing Amy at any given moment lol But before this they were just staring at each other quietly again like my favorite gif that ya'll often see.

but if i'm being honestly Sitri and I have the same brain cell here because I can't stand other's hot ass breath on me even if it doesn't smell bad because why??? are??? you this damn close???

So Amy ofc tells Sitri that he's breathing like that because he's hurt. Fair but this man don't give a shit lol

He goes over to him to access the damage I assume because it turns out even though the forest is torn up there's more angel bodies dead than devil bodies. They remained victorious.

I love how Amy's subordinates are always worried about him and it shows solidarity for their leader. But yeah Sitri also has this thing about him where he shows care for everyone else except the person he dislikes this being Amy.

That's from him being up in Hades. I swear to ya'll it is. That snooty ass attitude rubbed off so badly Sitri can't help but reflect that back into the universe

STOP

the height difference, how the sprites are close to each other, Amy being a foul mouth demon that he is...I really can't get away from my cxc ship bullshit ever when they do things like this lol

I do however like that Amy is a punk. Just mouthing off and cursing any time he can.

that's why Astra likes to provoke him too

But Sitri just simply tells him to stop bitching because the pain is proof that he's alive. So Amy takes this opportunity to one up on this moment because of what happened a few days ago

first of all, Amy is adorable. I just wanna tap his booba and tell him he's doing great.

Sitri gets pissed off though because it's the exact same thing he told him when he arrived a few days back when he had to save that devil boy from his commando unit. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had this one coming. An eye for an eye basically and Amy came and showed out.

So a couple things about this.

Remember what they said about him here, not usually being foul-mouthed and foul-tempered for a bit. You'll see where I'm getting at later.

Second. This is the pronoun thing I was referring to, which now has me thinking that maybe Sitri didn't mean "her" on day 6 and that was possibly just a mistake on the translating/writing part.

Though I am still wondering what incident caused him to be very angry back then where he had to smack himself back to reality to keep from focusing on it.

And while this little interaction is going on, the devils around them are gossiping about how Sitri and Amy always found time to fight each other even in situations like this.

But I think they forgot the part where Sitri can fucking hear them lmaooo because he was quietly stewing in annoyance by the entire thing, so much he had to think about when he and Amy first met.

So this was centuries ago, and it's wild because I'm like wait it's been that long for them holy shit my life is fleeting because to me a decade blinking by is so long.

A bit of lore about Satan btw, this was a time where he barely had an army, so it must have been he first came into power as a king. (we really need that backstory honestly) And went around scouting for willing participants even neighboring countries.

They also bring up that devils who saw him traveling around decided to join because they loved his energy.

When I think about this it's wild that Satan had to foot for his own army. This leads me to believe Gehenna was low due to the amount of deaths, or perhaps something happened with the previous king that caused this.

Either way, the babes did his thing and now he's got more than enough helping him during the battles. Picturing him recruiting folks though is cute because I imagine he's a great motivational speaker or just "hey join me btw" and it just works.

So the instructors didn't even notice Sitri because well in their defense they hadn't seen him yet. So of course they see this pretty, "slender" looking devil show up with his hair all nice and pushed back and is just like "aye so???"

He introduces himself and then that's when everyone starts acting accordingly and seeing him as a superior. But I mean that's why he was nice about it anyway because to him, they should be wary of someone they hadn't seen before and Gehenna needs that type of energy.

So now that we're in day 8 there's a few things I wanted to point out. One of them being the breadcrumb here that Hades had a fully formed solid military. That means...Leviathan is either the same age as Satan or a bit older, or he is younger than him but he's just better efficient with managing devils with his strict ass.

Sitri though see's Satan's army as an advantage. Because the Gehenna devils are flexible and free but also disciplined. That leads me to believe that it's only really fear and power that Leviathan uses to make sure that everyone in his military doesn't fuck things over. It makes sense, given Levi doesn't really have a carefree personality. There's too much trauma in there for him to break down that wall.

So while Sitri was daydreaming about his plans for leading Satan's army...someone...i think we know who fucking spits in his direction...

Now the reason he's pulling this face again is because he stepped into the spit. And I'm sitting here like ?????? I get it.

Again, like imagine just minding your business and someone just hacks a fucking loogie on the ground and you step in it. With your good shoes at that.

I'd be so disgusted like??? IRL bodily functions even my own gross me out easily so I apologize if anyone ever feels offended by me having strong opinion's about things we can't help. It's just me ya'll I live in pain constantly due to this.

Yup, it was Amy ya'll lmao big surprise.

So the reason Amy wasn't reading the room here, is because he felt like he didn't need to due to his status as a solider and being recently done with training. He was really good at what he does, so he felt anything else was not worth paying attention to.

Including spitting in the direction of your superior.

Now remember when I told ya'll to keep in mind that they said Amy wasn't usually foul mouth or foul tempered?

Then what the hell is this? Lmao

I get it, people change and well devils ain't got nothin' but time so perhaps Amy did mellow out with age and he was much younger here so that "I don't need to listen or do jack shit that ain't got to do with Satan" was very heavy. So ofcourse he'd pick a fight with everyone else.

But them expect Sitri to deal with it because he was nice to everyone?

Nah. He about that life.

He pretty much said "fuck you" without actually saying it and spat ON Amy. Mind you, Amy didn't even spit on him directly just in his walking path.

Yeah...?

That goddamn fucking smirk I'm going to lovingly kick his ass because Levi PLS

You're telling me he literally took this man, molded him into a Levi clone and sent him back out like that in Gehenna? I feel this is deliberate lmao "You sent me someone and gave me work to do so here you go here's your present <3"

Imagine all of the ass kicking Satan had to do in order to fix that attitude? Phew...I bet he was like "Again?"

now ya'll know why Cain is always on that everyone is stupid to me energy because look who he takes after?

I just find it hilarious that Sitri took that personally, because Levi would take that personally. If fact Levi wouldn't even spit on Amy back he'd just fucking hang him for being disgusting LOL

i couldn't resist.

So with Amy it was on sight, because trust, if someone spat on my face I'd be swinging too because clearly you want to disrespect me

Like ya'll think about it?

All he did was just spit on the ground and Sitri wasn't paying attention and stepped in it. He didn't spit directly on him.

small story time but it reminds me of a story i was told that i ripped up a boy's classwork in kindergarten because he tore my page on the corner as a "joke". i legit took his page and ripped it up. apparently i was on demon mode lmao

But now we're really starting to see the meat and potatoes of their dynamic. Sitri actually started it and ran with it. He saw the spit as disrespect and intentional when Amy sees it as "this dude fucking spit on me now we have beef"

So they're having this little interaction of Amy trying to punch Sitri, and because Sitri's ability to hear his heart and his muscles swell before he makes the movement he can dodge him without problem. But Amy is robust and not clumsy so he doesn't do the comical falling forward thing most of us see in cartoons.

Sitri is annoyed though because he sees the potential in Amy and his talent, he simply just doesn't like that attitude and sees it as a problem.

This is definitely Levi vibes.

So the next time Amy goes for him, he actually trips him so he falls. And it ends there.

Mannnnnnnnn this is a whole trip and a half. Like imagine if Sitri would have just simply ignored the spit and just dismissed Amy's bad attitude? I wonder if that would of even helped or if Amy would have done something to annoy Sitri later that would start the same beef regardless.

Imagine.

Centuries old beef because someone stepped in spit.

[definitelynotgideon]

This is a Genya Shinazugawa x OC (Gideon Azulyss) MLM Fic 🏳️‍🌈

A/N: a bit of a shorter chapter this time around but lots of action happening!! Getting into the meat of things now, so excited to reveal more over time :3 I have plans...

C/W: Slight disturbing language in terms of a death

Word Count: 1,131

The Demons We Face | Chapter 19, The Wolf pt 2

Preview/Intro:

The firing of a gun.

Genya wakes up with a start. He'd slept lightly most of the night, a level of nerve keeping him from falling deep into rest. He trusted that Gideon would protect him while he slept, but… he didn't want to leave Gideon to potentially face a demon by himself… with a foreign weapon no less.

He looks around. Gideon wasn't the one to fire, that much was apparent. From where he was sitting, he likely would have fallen back onto Genya if only slightly with kickback. The shot would also be much louder if it had come from Genya's gun.

The silver haired man looks to Genya with wide eyes, as one more shot rings out into the night air.

They are both up, no words needing to be shared as they run into their plan A scenario.

The village comes into view and Gideon sprints ahead, his eyes locked onto a large shadow figure who has a civilian in its clutches. He's swift to draw back his hammer and aim for the head…

But he doesn't calculate for the beast's speed.

The drawback of not knowing an enemy fully before engaging was that one had to learn quickly amidst combat. The civilian's body snaps, killing them with a sickening crunch as the wolf demon ducks and snarls.

“FUCK!”

Gideon turns, whirling his hammer to use it's momentum to his advantage as he lands a hit. The wolf was right on him, the corpse forgotten but blood on its paws. The wolf towers over Gideon and Genya's height easily, comparable to Himejima’s height and built in muscle to match.

For just a moment as the silver haired slayer dodges attacks and relays on his own speed, he's thankful that Genya isn't in close combat.

Genya has chosen a rooftop, he scales it easily using fencing and grates conveniently stores on the side of the selected house. He prepares himself, laying flat to not draw attention and make the task more challenging… but he waited to take a shot.

Both fighters were fast… it would only take one false move to accidentally shoot Gideon. So as heart wrenching as it was, he had to wait.

Come on …

Teeth snap just shy of Gideon’s face. He uses the head of his hammer to thrust forward into the chest of the beast, ultimately making it stumble and sending him backwards, creating space for him to prepare a swing. Both charge in, Gideon violently connects the hammer into the wolf’s shoulder as it slashes him, before falling back.

He cries out in pain, a level of fury graveled into his throat. The cut isn't incredibly beep but blood spilled from him and the wolf sneers.

Before it can launch itself at Gideon again… two shots ring out of a double barreled shotgun. One connects with the neck, missing the head as Genya curses and reloads.

The wolf immediately whirls to face the shooter and snarls the most unworldly growl before charging him.

“NO!” Gideon ran after him, sluggish by his injury. Genya was finishing placing the rounds in and had just shut his gun when the wolf lept onto the roof.

Gideon was desperate. Desperate to give Genya more time… desperate to switch him places in an instant… but the only thing he could think to do was throw his hammer.

The claw sinks deep into its back. It howls in rage, furiously grasping for the lodged weapon and effectively breaking the handle in the process. It whirls to the now unarmed slayer on the ground, furious.

Genya shoots at close range before it goes back for Gideon, and draws his wakizashi to finish decapitation. Wild purple eyes flash to Gideon, who falls to his knees panting.

Genya hops skillfully down from the roof and runs to him. “How deep is the cut?! Let me see!”

Gideon leans back with a hiss of pain. “N-Not deep, just… fucking fresh. Hah…”

Genya looks closely, the blood is still coming out of the wound. If it wasn't that deep clotting would have been stopping some of it by now… he looks up to Gideon in concern.

“You may need stitches, the middle one is deep.” He says.

Genya's crow flies over from the forest and caws at the two boys. “Kakushi! Kakushi!! I'll get them!!”

Genya is looking around, slight panic building even though he was doing his best to stay calm. This was the world of a demon slayer, but he couldn't help but feel the same amount of hopelessness as back then…

Another loved one painted in blood… Gideon could have easily died had he been one step closer to the slash-

Gideon reaches to squeeze his shoulder. “I'll be okay. Look at me.”

Genya does so. His eyes show his fear, but Gideon smiles for his sake trying to reassure him. “I'll be okay baby.”

Genya lets it sink in for just a moment, and then gives a little nod.

“...I need to wrap this in the meantime. I need your help to do it.” Gideon says to him.

“Right! Okay- stay here, I'll- I'll go get a wrapping!!”

Gideon nods, and watches Genya disappear around the corner as he runs to look for bandages… that's when Gideon unmasks how badly it actually hurts.

He's pretty certain that the strike affected his ribcage as well. It was difficult to take in deep breaths. The Kakushi would arrive soon he was sure… they would know more about first aid than Genya and himself. He just…

Hated the scarred look on his lover's face. He should have been more careful. Should have continued to evade the wolf, but he got too close. And now he was defenseless, because his hammer was broken in the fight.

Another weapon he couldn't care for properly… tears sting the corners of his eyes as he silently relented… should he even be a demon slayer at this point? Was he more trouble than he was worth?

He shook his head a little. He couldn't loose it now. He couldn't have Genya come back to him in that state… not when he was trying to keep both of them calm just moments ago.

Genya returns with bandages. Villagers start to wander out of hiding as the ashes continue to drift from the downed demon on the rooftop. A young woman has run back to Gideon with Genya, offering to help him wrap.

Gideon winces in pain as his destroyed uniform top is carefully removed. The young woman begins to clean the wound as gently as she can, and Genya preps the wrapping. By the time they have his chest bound, the Kakushi arrive to take over…

Gideon passes out in a cart brought by the kakushi, exhausted…

[recurring-polynya]

How do you go about planning out your writing? Additionally, have you ever gone into something expecting one or two chapters and ending up with 10+?

There are two kinds of fanfic: some fanfics fit entirely in my head at once, and I can just write them out and do no planning whatsoever. This is the ideal state of writing, the dream. This is generally fics with <10k words, although Portions for Foxes (28k) was written in this manner, and my only excuse was that I was in the grips of hyperfixation.

This almost never happens to me anymore, so I gotta go down the other route, which is to plan everything out with my engineer brain. It goes like this:

I have an idea. Occasionally, the idea will be a very specific scene or a first chapter, and if it's very clear in my head, I may just let myself write it.

Otherwise, I spend a few hours to a few days free-thinking about the concept. What kind of story can I make out of it? What scenes does it include? Will it be fun to write? Do I get more excited the more I think about it, or does it feel like a pain? ->If it feels like a drag, I don't write it ->Sometimes there's just one scene or so that feels fun, so I just write that and throw it in my short story anthology

If it feels like it has legs, I start an outline. The outline must contain the story arc in broad strokes and it must contain a beginning, a conflict, a climax, and an ending before I start writing in earnest. Any time I have tried to start writing without these things, anguish has resulted.

I also often write down notes about character motivations and themes and other stuff I want to remember not to forgot, or that I can go back and look at when I feel like I've lost the thread. I keep all of this in a separate document from the main story, and over time, I also add stuff like links to useful websites, kanji for names of characters or places that I've picked out, useful facts, timelines, etc. Whenever I have a bit of writing I have to cut from the story, I save it and put it down at the bottom of the planning document under a section called DISCARD. Yeah, this is kind of a mess after a while.

Once I have this much, though, I start writing. As I am writing, I often get ideas for things to happen down the line, so I add them to outline. I try to start from the beginning of the fic and write continuously, until I get stuck or don't want to, and then I skip ahead to the next thing I feel like writing. When I run out of things I am excited to write, I refer to the outline, and fill out one of the bullets that I haven't done yet. This is sort of an iterative process of writing scenes and adding to the outline, and the fanfic goes from being a skeleton to getting gradually more fleshed out. Sometimes I write a scene and I'm not quite sure where it goes, so I guess.

(There are sometimes bad times, where I realize that my outline was a joke and my story is a mess and I roll around on the floor for a bit. After that, I do some combination of making new outlines and making new documents where I cut and paste the scenes from the old on in until they make sense. Usually this works eventually. Once, I had to do this, like, three times, and make a color-coded spreadsheet about it.)

Around this time, I will usually make an additional, chapter-centric outline. This lists every scene in the fic, in order, with some formatting to show the ones that still need work, or haven't been written at all. I will write out word counts for each chapter (sometimes for each scene). I can now see the places where I need a connecting scene, and also how big/how much stuff is in each chapter. The scene at the end of a chapter connects to the next chapter in a different way than scene-to-scene. I sometimes use two or three rotating narrators, and this also helps me make sure the POVs are balanced.

I write all the scenes I didn't want to write earlier, but now I have momentum because I can see the end.

I finish the fanfic. Joy returns to the land.

As for the question about have you ever gone into something expecting one or two chapters and ending up with 10+, the answer is no, because, as you can see, my process is specifically designed to gate off that possibility from the beginning. My fanfics regularly overrun their predicted length by 25-40%, but the decision to write a short or a long one is always one I make consciously and with care.

[alarrytale]

Sorry I can't remember your exact words but you said something about the world being ready for a gay male artist at Harry's level. I really agree. Harry and Columbia are losing out on so much by keeping him closeted. I don't know if it's completely down to Columbia or if he is still tied to his X Factor contract, as some X Factor contestants said that contracts lasted over 10 years. Sure he is making a ton of money at the moment but he's going to get left behind as more and more people CO. They need to be ahead of the game. It'll make such a huge impact. If they continue what they're doing now with stunts then they're just going to keep turning people off. Playing all sides is turning people off. He needs to commit and because I think (but acknowledge I might be wrong) that he wants to CO in the future, he should be working towards that now. Not making things worse for himself. I agree with you that he compromises a lot with Columbia. For every gay thing he does, he performs heterosexuality. If it's really gay, like MP, stunts get worse. This is going to be what turns people off him. When will they realize. I worry that he's going to go deeper into the closet. But if he does then that will probably turn people off too as many people are attracted to his ambiguity. "Straight Harry" is so uninteresting and boring. I think that many of his het fans are attracted to his flamboyance, and characteristics that come with being a gay man. But they don't realize it, or they do but they're deep in denial. So I think going deeper into the closet will even put fans off, but who knows. It's going to get harder to balance things. I really think the best thing he can do is CO within the next few years. But he's in a new pr relationship now so who knows where this is going.

Hi anon!

You've got so many good points here. It's all so frustrating! I feel like were here yelling, 'harry, jump on that train!' and he's just standing there on the platform, not doing shit. Columbia/Sony/Full stop is right there with him saying 'he'd rather walk'. Up until not long ago he used to be a trendsetter, but now he's falling behind more and more. He's losing his momentum. The chance is right there and it looks like he's not planning on taking it. We all know of the huge potential H and L have to become trailblazers. By coming out together. They'd never have engagement issues or have to fight for attention again. It would solve everyones problems, forever.

We have no way of knowing why Harry is currently closeted, and acts how he does, we can only speculate and make educated guesses. But what we do know, is if by any point the stakeholders believe they'll make more money off him being out, than him being in, then they'll let him out. If i'm right, that could mean that white old men, with no understanding of the current market and trends, have the decision in their hands.

My current obsession with rwrb has lead me to read some very interesting interviews with the director and cast. They talk about the current success of gay media (movies, series and music) and how it's not niche anymore, but become mainstream. The market is changing. It's the zeitgeist and in the coming years we'll have even more of it. With even more success. It's fresh, interesting and more genuine than old hollywood tropes.

There are also more and more up and coming actors/actresses and musicians that are queer and talented, and are enjoying success, but dosn't have the 'baggage' louis and harry does. It's going to be a harder market to compete in, both for money and attention. And now the straight dollar goes to queer artists as well. 'Straight' harry is boring as you say. 'Straight' harry is also a queerbaiter in the eyes of many. I agree with you that Harry's flamboyance and ambiguity is interesting and exciting to straight audiences as well. Before i'd see how people think that the interest and excitement would turn into dissappointment if he were to actually come out. Now however, i don't think it will. It's the opposite.

I fear that if they wait too long and let this opportunity pass that people will turn their attention away from them and to other up and coming talented out queer artists. New, fresh and interesting people, who are ahead of the times, without baggage, who are above stunting. I already see that happening. H and L's got a demographic problem. They are losing older tired fans due to heavy stunting and they are not attracting enough gen z ers, because they can't fight for the attention with their behaviour and the baggage they come with. The solution to all this is pretty obvious to me. And the longer they wait, the less impact it will have. My biggest fear is that two hot and really popular out gay stars would start dating (for real), maybe someone people already ship, and they'll take the shine and attention away from larry. I think that would be really detrimental to H and L's image rehab and ability to grow their respective and collective fandoms. So if i were them (h and l, and sony) i wouldn't wait too long.

[realthoughtsrawemotions]

How Crash Bandicoot Taught Me About Life

I’ve been working with the idea of being consistent regardless of how I feel. I have these habits that I know are good for me and I want to do daily. I am also learning to be forgiving to myself. If I miss a day I can do it the next day and make up for it or if there’s not enough time to double up on the task I just keep my momentum forward and don’t stress about the one day missed. It gives me grace to make mistakes while still keeping the course.

This allows me to treat life like a video game. Like a life in crash bandicoot. I attempt to jump to the next platform and I absolutely eat shit. I keep trying the same method and eventually run out of lives. The level restarts and yeah maybe I don’t get to start at the same checkpoint so there are some small consequences there but at least I get to keep playing the game. I realize on this run through that the same dogmatic method I was using that kept making me eat shit isn’t going to cut it anymore. So I try a new method. This method is a wild guess at best and complete stupidity at worst but I get to keep trying and if I fail enough times I just have to restart. What would be much worse would be to rage quit the game entirely and have to wait until tomorrow or next week until I feel better and more confident to play the game again. In the metaphor of life this would be the equivalent of being so insecure about failing a task that I wait months or even years before I attempt the task again. In the meantime I’m creating stories about why that task is stupid and why it’s not even worth playing. This can and has cost me months and years of being able to develop a skill and progress towards the eventual goal.

Ok so back to Crash Bandicoot. I try a new method and that fails. I try another and that fails as well. I restart at the beginning of the level and I’m just fucking done. This nagging voice inside says fuck this you have better things to do. This is just making you mad, go move on to something that will make you feel better. Then there’s a little bit of pride inside of me. A little bit of fire that says you know what, one more try. One more try. One more method and if you lose all your lives and have to restart the level then you can turn the PlayStation off and move on.

So I go on to try this new method and it goes exactly how I thought it would. 3 lives into my 4 lives and I’m eating shit and making it no where. Then on the very last life I make that one jump that was stumping me for the whole level. I make it almost all the way to end but again I eat shit. Unexpectedly I’m ecstatic about this! No I didn’t beat the level with this new method but now I have hope. I have an understanding that I can try this new method at the beginning of the level with 4 lives and not just one. This gives me an immense amount of hope and I start the level again with a new found sense of excitement and wonder. I go in with the new method absolutely crush the level and finish with 3 lives left for the next level. Except I didn’t just leave that level with 3 lives for the next level. I left with a sense of hope and momentum that will carry me into the entire game.

Sometimes our efforts seem futile. We see only our past failures and the towering mountain ahead of us. In this lense, any effort is deemed pointless and our egos can even rationalize them as dangerous. If we look at the first step ahead of us and take action then even in failure we can look objectively at the action as a way to inform us about the situation. If we are constantly using past failures as a form of guilt we become trapped in an endless cycle of “I can’t”. When the goal is simply to try and to take action, then we are stacking up wins just by being there and engaging in the world or the game. Past failures or future pressure no longer become emotional attachments or samskaras. They simple become objective information that guides us along the path of life. Just another life in the endless loop of Crash Bandicoot.

That’s how I’m choosing to look at life recently. Just stack good behaviours and make adjustments where needed without the emotional heaviness and guilt of failure. I tried this thing and that happened. What would happen if I tried another thing? And then repeat that process and gain valuable information and life experience along the way. This is how Crash Bandicoot has taught me about life.

[exozero]

It's here if you ever want to read it. I explain some of myself here, my history, but let me stress that none of it is me justifying or excusing anything, I just can't speak honestly about my own brain in those situations without referring to the events which I was thinking about constantly at that time. They're part of who I am, particularly part of who I was, I hope, but I'm not a domino, and my actions were my own. Above all, I hope sincerely for your health.

I'm realizing in the writing of this how petty all ny mental lineages are, and must seem. I don't know how much detail is appropriate, how much you care to know, since I obviously want to deliver what would be the most helpful, if that's anything at all. I also would like to be liked by you, but know that that is unfair to ask. Whatever my reasons, you were hurt, so I suppose I'm hoping that by just leaving this here, you'll only come upon it if you're curious, and you're free to message me or to never let me know that you've read it, which keeps it as something only you can give value to. I'm really sorry if this missed the mark or seems self-indulgent. Every time I caught myself trying to couch my language in comfortingly ambiguous corpo-type-speak, I tried to go the other way without crucifying myself (unfairly). I tried not to edit it as well.

Hey ,

I read it. I would look once in a while at your blog and your main account, mostly out of a lingering grimy feeling I've discussed in therapy and have not understood fully until now. Our dynamic, even with sex set aside, was exciting and with a (false, unearned) sense of security it felt as if we had this uninterruptable momentum, and I absolutely overly romanticized and let myself explain away actions I'd previously had considered necessitated, at the least, a long conversation with future precautions. I was rash and reckless and did away with the kind of getting-to-know-one-another time I generally find necessary to feel comfortable doing half of what we did so soon, and as the dominant within the dynamic I invited you to place your trust in me and you suffered for it, and for that I will always be sorry. My lack of care was awful and I fucking hate that you were saddled with the pain and confusion which goes along with having such an inconsiderate, uncommunicative partner.

What you've written is one of the most important things I'll ever read. I hated how our last conversation played out, but again figured you'd just never want to hear from me. Maybe that was a selfish shortcut to letting myself forget, though it didn't work.

I'm truly, deeply happy to know how you understand and appreciate yourself, from the inside out, though I hate only reaching this knowledge by seeing I've hurt someone I think so highly of.

You're right, I didn't understand. Over a longer time spent together I'd like to think I would have, with some luck, arrived at these conclusions, been able to be myself and allow you to be yourself fully and honestly, and to have grown more organically, if not while dating then as friends, and in a healthier and more holistic way.

Without a properly human process of un-coupling, where things might naturally arise, all we had was our word, and you said you wanted to be friends – and in a cruel fashion, I took that away from us. Not that it changes the impact of my actions, but I promise it did not come from any sense of dominance, but rather a past experience with someone I'd thought was just a friend. You, of course, did not deserve to be unknowingly linked to someone else's actions, I just didn't believe a joke (that was just a joke) was yet possible for us, and had a very old fear return of having to be on my guard at all times again, if we spent time alone together as friends. It's up to me to recognize and manage those triggers and I absolutely, abjectly failed. You have been nothing but the kindest and most giving person and I assigned to you qualities of the worst person I've ever known, and convinced myself I was doing you a favor by not stringing you along.

Aftercare also meant something utterly different to me, to be touched after sex something I felt (felt, rather than thought. Stupid) everyone needed to be eased into, as I thought I did. I approached it nervously because that was when I felt most vulnerable. When we got high and climbed into bed and you looked down on me and embraced my head and torso it felt wonderful and real, and I felt known in your casual grab of me, but I was also doing all I could to not shove you away. I was in that post-sex headspace despite us only lying, and ------ it's not so important. obviously I should have just asked more often, you always responded so positively, of course. idiot.

I don't have the best memory, but I know I never felt that you needed me, and I have always enjoyed that. I've never deeply enjoyed a person romantically if I felt they needed me, and I'm sorry we didn't establish a bedrock upon that fact first, that fact of mutual self-governance. I'd always felt we were spending time together because we got along, because we had a good time, and meeting your friends was nice because you and they are nice, but I had no other motives in regards to them. I've reread everything and can see how some messages to a friend were overly friendly. I had a limited circle in the city and admittedly spent too much time on instagram. They posted about their mother, mine had recently revealed she'd renewed ties with my abuser. And maybe I didn't make it clear enough that I wasn't dissing anyone's partner, but I had no idea they were dating, thought he was a cool local act since I'd met him briefly that day. Texting isn't talking, so it would have been smarter to apologize instead of just walk it back as I did. I get why, now seeing your view especially, an in the light of it all together, it would seem wrong, and explains why he was so odd when I was shopping a bit ago. Step one in seduction is generally not to insult someone's partner they're clearly head over heels for.

Freshest is the embarrassment of reading back our latest texts and seeing how I let myself go on, even while knowing how poorly I was representing how I truly felt, being short in the face someone trying to understand such basic moments of miscommunication, because... what? I hadn't slept in a day? I'd have had a coffee if I hadn't been loathe to confront a roiling mass of guilt as to how it all had ended. Horrible feeling, knowing you're in the process of allowing another part of your life infect and destroy a relationship with someone far better than decent.

Looking back lately, that has felt like its own singular regret, a last missed chance at communicating sincerely, and I remember the exact moment I chose to become defensive, a consciously destructive impulse. I've never been happier the next day for having chosen that one, but I can't imagine the disappointment and frustration you must have felt.

Nothing about this is satisfying, thanks to my actions, and probably won't ever be. I feel the urge to tell you more and more and more about myself, to make clear I'm not am egomaniac and did deeply care for you, but it's hard to reconcile the internal echoes with external effects, it feels like there's a step missing somewhere between them, and while I want to rectify it I think if I allow this to grow it'll become increasingly useless and unhelpful, self-pitying as well as self-loathing. The only real edits I've made have been to my sob stories, trying to keep my ego out of it. I want to be clear that I'm not at all saying it's all because I was myself hurt in some way... the goal is to be useful, and to be understood, to be usefully understood, understood usefully, but that use is just for you. You know my actions towards you and you know how they impacted you, but i can only imagine the only thing I can possibly do at this point is to give you all of the facts I have that you don't have access to yet, so that you're armed with a fuller behavioral picture of a part of the world which affected you moving forward. It's something I'd have wanted, but I don't think I'd have cared if I'd received this after so long.

I hope I learned something. I hope I was useful.

I'll post this here in the hopes you see it, and keep the account on, but it'll be dead. I don't want you to feel watched in any way – you have a right to your anonymity, and I'll leave you to it.

[fritzes]

some ramblings about some of the matchups in the second round:

atp:

musetti v van assche: on paper, this should be a win for lorenzo, but knowing lorenzo it could very well not be. van assche has been playing really well lately and I think this could definitely be an upset. lorenzo has a really high ceiling but a really low floor too, so if he can just keep his level up (big if), he can win

de minaur v arnaldi: most consistent player against the least consistent player. with the crowd on his side added to that, alex will probably win. that being said, on any given day matteo could randomly start playing lights-out tennis so if this is one of those days, he’ll definitely give alex some trouble. I could see this one either being straight sets for alex or a five-setter that either of them win

fils v griekspoor: tallon barely survived his last match, but the fact that he came back from two sets down has to give him some insane confidence coming into this one. arthur has been on fire lately, but we haven’t really seen him in a lot of gritty, long bo5 matches. if he can come out swinging early and hold momentum for three sets, he can definitely win, but if it goes to four or five I think tallon could take it

dimitrov v kokkinakis: this thing is going to 5 sets. kokkinakis is known for his ridiculously long ao matches, and grigor is known for never having easy wins. grigor is definitely the better player here though, so as long as his body holds up he should win

paul v draper: jack has a massive chance of winning… if he’s fit. he just beat tommy in adelaide and in general his form has been looking pretty good lately. he did just like in a bin at the end of his round 1 match though, so that could possibly be a precursor to some health problems (or he unlocks whatever jannik did in beijing, and post-puke draper will win the ao). tommy paul made the semis last year and he can definitely also win this match. the best thing he can do is make it go as long as possible to tire jack out, but if jack is in-form then I think he’ll win in three or four sets

wta:

swiatek v collins: I would be shocked if Iga doesn’t win this match. that being said, danielle collins is no joke when she’s playing well. if she’s feeling it, she can definitely take a set off iga, but that’s probably all she’s gonna get

ostapenko v tomljanovic: the iconic beef is rehashed! I talked about this potential match a bit when I did my draw analysis and I don’t think my opinion has changed: this all depends on jelena’s level. if she plays the way she’s been playing for the past few weeks, then she’s gonna win. but if she does what she so often does and starts making tons of errors, ajla will take advantage. no matter what happens though this is probably going to 3 sets and it will definitely be dramatic

jabeur v andreeva: similar to iga’s match - I’ll be really surprised if ons loses but I won’t be surprised if mirra wins a set. she’s really, really talented. ons didn’t play any warmup tournaments, but she did have a great first round match so her level is definitely there. I do still think she’ll win, but mirra definitely won’t make it easy

badosa v pavlyuchenkova: of all the matches on this list, this is the one where I have the least confidence in guessing the outcome. they both looked really good in their first round matches, and they’re both in different stages of a comeback. I would maybe favor nastia if it goes to 3 sets just because we don’t know how paula's stamina is right now, but paula winning in 3 isn’t out of the realm of possibility either. I honestly don’t know who’s gonna win and I’m really excited to watch

[an-abyss-of-stars]

✨Fic Updates!!✨

-

✵It's Visceral And It's Cruel✵

Y'ALL I'M DOING ITTTTTTTTT!! I actually buckled down and got 5.3k written for this chapter!!! LIKEEE I can genuinely see the light at the end of the tunnel 🤣🤣 this chapter might actually drop this week!! SUPER SORRY for the age-long wait!

Although this chapter probably won't be as long as the previous one was, but a lot of the moving pieces for this fic will be set into motion!! (Minor spoilers! But as I've been planning the overarching plot for this fic, some new trope tags will be added to the taglist because there're a lot of new elements! From: he fell first but she fell harder, diabolical scheming, faux plotting relationships growing into real love, sworn sword elements, assassination attempts...) WE'RE DOING A LOT AND I'M SO EXCITED!!

My problem is, I'm excited for the meaty middle of this story, that I can't seem to focus and buckle down on the build up? Does that make sense, I hope it does!

Anyways! I'm projecting...if I keep up my momentum, I could have this chapter out by Friday!! Maybe even Thursday, if I manage to finish writing it today. But Friday at the latest, that's my goal!

-

☾ He Saw Her At Daybreak ☾

ALRIGHT, I ALSO FEEL IN THE MOOD TO WRITE THIS! I think the writing motivation is slowly coming back to meee. I think I wrote myself into a corner beforehand and all of the writing motivation drained away! BUT, it's back! I'm thinking I'll jump ahead about 2/3 months from the start of the chapter instead of the middle/end like I was originally planning. That way we can just get started with Rhaena's preggo era! That's what we're all here for, I've stalled/built up their marriage story long enough 😂😂 I've got ideasssss for this chapter!! Rhaena will be about 5/6 months pregnant, so she'll definitely be showing, and the cravings will be in full swing!

And for a certain lovely of mine, that food-kink is finally coming in this chapter!!! I know exactly where to place it! The exhibition-kink might make an appearance as well!! If all goes well, the first baby might actually arrive by ch.8, since I'm jumping ahead here and not later. But we'll see!

My goal for this chapter, is to work on it heavily during the weekend! And if we're lucky, I might be able to post it early next week!

[winbuzz1]

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[erodasfishtacos]

I fucking love mlb!harry and ceo!harry

Ur so talented

Erm i had an idea (pls feel free to ignore, i know u hv a busy schedule and life outside of tumblr) but what if mlb!harry played badly in a game (or less than how he expected he wld perform) and y/n makes him feel better

Or

Ceo!harry loses an important deal and y/n makes him feel better

CRAMP

i write for FREE - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here. ($15+ is guaranteed blurb written for you).

if you liked - pleasure support me by reblogging, recommending, liking, commenting, and come talk to me about the fic!

warnings: smut; 18 +

YN knew it wasn’t going to be a fun time when Harry came home that night.

All four babies were fast asleep in their respective rooms and she was lounging on the couch, some cooking show on after she watched her husband play a rough game on ESPN.

He got hit with a fastball to his calf during the second inning and after that, his performance went downhill and he couldn’t get back on track.

He threw three homeruns and only made a few mediocre hits, trying to ignore the shooting pain in his lower leg.

In a typical Harry move, he refused to do the end of game handshakes with the opposing team and stormed off the field.

An interviewer chasing after him to ask him a question and Harry give her a dirty look before muttering, “Get away from me. I’m not answerin’ any questions,” before he disappears down the stairs.

YN knew just the thing that will cheer him up.

-

Harry trecks into the house with heavy feet and tense shoulders, his eyes are tired and frustrated as he drops his duffle on the ground carelessly.

“Hi,” YN murmurs when he steps into the living room, she was all curled up in a fluffy blanket with a surprise underneath.

“Hi,” He says back blandly, the frown unmoving from his face - almost like a pouty little kid.

“Can you come rub m’back?” She asks, feeling herself dampen a little bit with the excitement of what’s to come.

Harry scoffs, obviously in a sour mood, “I just finished a game, walked in the door, and tha’s the first thing I get is a demand?”

“Okay? And I just dealt with all four of your babies all day today. Ezra refused to be put down for more than five minutes straight,” She tries to bite down the smile, she shouldn’t find it funny when her husband’s bent out of shape.

That makes him melt a bit though, voice soften minutely, “Were the babies good today?”

“I’ll tell you about it after you rub my back.”

Harry grumbles, kicking off his trainers with a irritated edge, and heavy-footed as he makes his way to the couch.

“Take off the blanket and move on y’belly then,” He mutters, eyes boring into hers without reflecting the amusement that she has - if he was in a better mood he would have helped her along.

When she slips off the blanket and quickly moves on her stomach, burying her face in her arms when she hears him sucks in a breath.

“Wha’ are y’naked?” Harry demands, obviously trying to stay irritated because he deserved it for having such a shitty game.

YN makes sure her voice sounds airy and coy, “Just got hot is all.”

“S’fuckin’ freezin’ in here,” He rebukes but sits on the side of the couch with only a little room on the edge - his large hand coming to massage at her back muscles.

“Mmm,” She agrees noncommittally, feeling Harry’s hand wander curiously, further down her back to the lower curve before her bum.

“Y’trying to cheer m’up with sex,” Harry accuses, bent out of shape because he just wants to sulk in his poor performance but also he has the most beautiful woman in the world in front of him - bare and wet for him.

“I didn’t offer sex,” YN smirks, her husband falls into her to tricks every fucking time, no matter how much of bad mood he’s in.

Harry’s voice gets lower, more dangerous and gravely, “No? Just flashin’ y’ass at me for fun now? Decided for absolutely no reason to be waiting for m’to come home naked?”

“No reason at all,” She agrees, excitement building when his gentle massage turns rougher, hands kneading a little deeper into her muscles.

He shakes his head, eyes glued onto her backside where her cheeks are round and hiding what he really wants to see, “So if I dip m’fingers down between y’pretty thighs, your cunt won’t be soaking f’me?”

Harry’s skin prickles when his wife lets out a feathery, delicate moan at his words, he’s desperately trying to hold onto all of his negative feelings but he’s struggling because of the beauty that’s squirmy underneath him.

“Dry as the Sahara.”

It makes Harry finally break a little, letting out a belly laugh, and smacking her bum hard enough to make her squeak in delight.

His fingers travel down between her puffy folds, slipping into the heavenly heat of her where she is soaking his fingers.

In a filthy move, he pulls them back up and rubs them on his wife’s lips, “If y’not wet than what’s on y’lips, darlin’?”

Harry’s cock twitches when she lets out a quiet whine, pink tongue tracing her bottom lip before she laps at her husband’s thick fingers.

“Fuck,” He grunts, pressing down on her tongue,“Y’gonna let m’hit it from behind?”

When she can speak, she shakes her head, “No, want it on m’back.”

“Spoiled thing,” He murmurs, giving her one more smack before helping her flip back over, “Supposed t’be all about me, not you.”

YN’s eyes are sparkling, hand coming to tug lightly at his locks and pull him down into a kiss, her other hand wriggling his shorts down.

“All I had to do was take m’clothes off, didn’t even have to ask for it,” She giggles sweetly, teasingly, “Doesn’t matter what mood you’re in, always want to give it to me.”

“Best I’ve ever had, mama,” Harry replies against her lips, mumbled a bit as she grips him and leads him right to where she needs him most.

“Only one you ever had, only one you ever will have,” YN remarks confidently before throwing her head back when he bottoms out.

“Y’so fuckin’ hot when you’re possessive. You already know y’own me, darling. I bought you this big ole’ house, got four of m’babies sleepin’ upstairs, and got y’under me every night. I’m fucking yours. I have been since we met.”

“Harder, H,” She demands, nails digging into his strong shoulders as he fucks into her at a steady pace.

“Be quiet, let m’do it how I want,” He chides, keeping a slow but hard rhythm as he ducks down the suck at the hard peaks of her breasts before grazing them with his teeth.

“Do it how I want,” YN moans with an arrogant tone, it just drops with how confident she is that her husband is whipped for her. (He is).

But he’s already in a less than great mood so it has him flipping her, putting her onto all four as he wants, and slamming back in.

“We’re gonna do it ‘ow I want it,” He grunts in her ear, his hand gripping her cheek roughly enough to dimple and his other wrapping in her messy hair, “Y’absolutely soakin’ me, pet.”

“Oooh, fuck!” YN hisses but it doesn’t sound like a normal moan from her - Harry knows every sound his wife is able to make.

“Mama? Y’alright?” Harry checks, slowing down but not completely losing momentum as he loosens his grip on her hair.

“Cramp, I’m cramping. Want it on m’back,” YN whines, trying to shake out her leg and Harry obliges, helping her back down to their original position.

Again, Harry isn’t stupid.

As soon as she is back where she’s moaning lowly and with an airy hitch as she goes to pinch at one of her nipples.

“Y’such a spoiled brat,” Harry shakes his head in disbelief, “Y’didnt have a leg cramp, y’just wanted to be a pillow princess.”

“Lies,” YN giggles, eyes bright and happy as she peers up at her husband who is looking down a her like she hung the fucking moon and stars.

No one would ever be able to convince him that she didn’t.

“M’the one who had the shit day. I’ve just spoiled you so fuckin’ rotten tha’ y’just a desperate slut,” He laughs meanly but it sends a full body zip of electricity through his wife and he knows it.

“Harry,” She chokes out, gripping his biceps hard.

“Hands to yourself,” He snaps, taking her hands and pinning them above her head with just one of his hands.

The other comes down and lands a smack right on her puffy folds, once..twice…three times before YN is coming on him.

“Easy f’me,” Harry hums with satisfaction, leaning down to kiss her moans quiet as he fucks in hard a handful on times before he’s filling her up, “There y’go, hm? Marking y’up as mine, all full of me.”

“Yeah, baby,” YN agrees dazed, dated as he comes to a halt as he softens and pulls out - wiping her down with his shirt as she whines, “Sensitive.”

“M’sorry, mama,” Her husband apologizes, trying to be careful around her nerves.

After, they lay on the couch - talking about their day until Briar’s monitor lights up from the side table with high pitched cries.

“Mama, mama, daddy,” The thirteen month old sobs as she sits up in her crib - unable to find her binky in the dark.

“I’ll go get the bub,” Harry offers, sitting up and tugging his briefs and shorts back on.

“Okay, she missed you a lot today. I’m going to go shower.”

-

When Harry steps into the room, Briar is looking expectantly at the door and her eyes widen when she spots her father.

“Daddy, dadada,” She babbles happily, standing up to clutch the railing of her crib with anticipation.

“Oh, there’s m’lil mama. Hi darling,” Harry coos softly, gathering her up into his arms and taking a step over to the rocking chair.

He pops her pacifier back between her lips and she looks up at him with heavy-lids, it doesn’t take long before her blinks get longer until her eyes shut close.

Harry doesn’t know what he did to deserve such an amazing life but he was sure fucking grateful.

[emile-hides]

H*lding H*nds Imagines

I am once again making content for me and me alone because I have an unhealthy obsession for BNHA blond boys

BNHA Blond Boys X GN!Reader h*nd h*lding moments

Characters: All Might, Present Mic, Fatgum, Twice, Aoyama, Ojiro, Kaminari, Bakugo, Honenuki, Monoma, Mirio

All Might

Knuckle brush

You handed him things before

Stacks of papers to grade, coffee after a long day, a napkin when he goes into a coughing fit

But something about this time turns his face a deep red

He withdrew quickly, in a jerking manner that dragged more attention than you’re sure he meant it to

He cleared this throat and thanked you quietly before shuffling off

It took a few moments to really set on you

You’d made contact

Such little contact you’d barely even felt it

He was cold, his skin rough and calloused, wrinkled and dry

How you managed to notice so much with such brief contact is astounding

And also incomparable to how much he noticed

He’s thinking about it all day, glancing at where the contact was made, shuffling, flushing to himself, holding his knuckles to his lips

Do it on purpose next time you hand him a stack of papers and he’ll drop them

Present Mic

In a crowd

It’s LOUD

You and Hizashi are trying to get home after a live show

The crowd is huge and still hyped from the concert

The quarters are tight, the space is limited, and without his towering hair spike it’s hard to keep track of your loud blond

Eventually a strong clasp from a hand horribly decorated in rings, fingerless gloves, and black nail polish claps on your wrist as your continued to be pulled though a crowd

When the world finally starts to calm and you have room to breath his hand slides to connect to your palm

Fingers intertwine with yours as a series of “Y’all good?”s start, followed quickly by an excited narration of the chaos that just ensued

He’d taken your hand so causally you barely even noticed

The two of you walked in a much calmer crowd, hand in hand, as Hizashi randomly picked bystanders out of his vocal range and made up their life stories to tell you

Fatgum

Big hands

You laid idly on the couch in Fatgum’s office, the interns long sense gone home

A pile of paperwork blocked your view of your hard working hero as he sat at his desk

You slumped and slid off the couch, boredom rising as you phone lie dead on the table nearby

A loud groan drives a “Just a bit longer, gumdrop” from behind the piles of unfinished work, a bit longer could be years for all you cared

Sliding across the hardwood floor on your back, you found yourself beside Taishiro’s desk, looking up at him from an angle you were rather use to

He was focused, with a smile still on his face as he worked, writing with one hand, the other causually turning Takoyaki in the grill built into his desk

You sat up, watching quietly. He was typically pretty observant, but he may not yet have noticed your approach

When his hand stopped turning and released, you took your chance

Both your hands snatched his wrist, sitting up a bit to rest yourself on his lap, you examined his large palm

He chuckled, “What’cha doin’, cupcake?”

His hand was massive in your own, enough to make anyone feel like a child. It could engulf you, hold half your torso and still have a pinkie to spare

You pressed on his palm, he hummed and returned to work, leaving you to admire as you pleased

His knuckles were scarred, several gashes and scrapes from punching at materials harder than even his fat could handle

Old burns from cooking, white spots on his finger tips from a time before he learned patients

You leaned back on him, holding his hand in your own, and watched him work

He seemed much more blissed from your company

Twice

Not enough hands

Jin’s a very physical person

He hangs off you every chance he can get, coddling and loving on you

He finds it annoying

So it’s not surprise as you two settled down for a movie night he was instantly on your lap like a cat

He lays over you like a blanket, limbs tangled every which way, head on your chest, looking at you more than the movie

One of your hands lay idly by your head, that one he has his own over, fingers tangled messily, almost uncomfortably

His other arm trapped under you, a hug from below, resting also uncomfortably against your spine

Leaving your free hand to tangle in his hair, a rare sight to have his mask off, though it probably wouldn’t last the whole movie, it should be cherished until then

When you notice his staring at you more than the screen, you choose to join him

You slide your hand from his hair to his cheek, he leans into it with the most lovestruck puppydog look a man his age could muster

He then starts to fidget around, moving like he’s stuck

It doesn’t take long from there for him to start getting frustrated with himself, splitting an argument for two between just him

You gently lift his head to regain eye contact and ask what’s wrong

He nearly starts crying

“I want to hold your cheek too but I don’t have enough hands!!”

He’s not willing to remove your hand from his hold or pull his other arm out from under you to compromise his own needs

He does eventually start crying over his lack of extra limbs to love you with

Aoyama

Standing ovation

Roaring applause rippled thought the auditorium

It wasn’t a big show, or a big stage, but it was your first written play, and seeing it go over so well was enough to bring a tear to your eyes

You joined the audience in standing to applause as the actors took the stage for the final bow

Only the lead, your star, wasn’t there with them

You blinked once, twice, three times before panic set in

There’s no way Yuga Aoyama would miss the chance to stand center stage in a spotlight. If he wasn’t on stage something must have happened

You tried your best not to look around too fervently, not wanting to startle anyone else

When a hand clasped yours

“And let’s not forget the playwright~✨”

Before you could question how he said that with his mouth, you were dragged onto the stage by your previously mentioned star, with his own mic in hand you don’t remember giving him

He held your arm up above his head as he runway walked his way along the stage, you closely in toe

You were going to go on stage eventually but you’d planned to be a lot more quiet about it, when more people had left early not wanting to sit though the applause

But instead, here you were, center stage, hand held high like you’d just won a boxing match by your own and only Aoyama

How he could stand being this bright all the time way beyond you

For now though, it was rather nice 

Ojiro

Lost and found

You stepped out of your class stretching, ready for a well deserved lunch break when you heard your classmates muttering

“Isn’t he from the hero course?”

“What’s he doing?”

Being nosy wasn’t usually your strong suit, but the mutterings has peaked your interest

You followed the eyes of those speaking to find a blond boy sitting in the floor of the hall, knees pulled to his chest to keep his legs from disrupting the flow of traffic, with his tail resting over his feet to protect them from being stepped on

He smiled and gave a light wave to your class as the dispersed

You alone approached him, curiosity peaking. Why was he sitting out here in the hall?

When question he very sheepishly answered, “I, uh.. I got lost on my way to class”

There was several things wrong with that

Number one being, he’d been at this school half a year now. He has one classroom, a big classroom, in the hero course. It’s not easy to miss??

Number two, it was noon. Lunchtime. He has one classroom. How long had he been lost???

These questions had answers and he was, while slightly embarrassed, happy to share he had, in fact, been lost all morning. Not just in finding his class, but also in finding the exit to the building, any teachers he knew, or his phone to call for help

You began to feel sorry for the guy, as this seemed to be a common occurrence in his daily life

With a sigh, you offered your hand to help him up

It was lunch, for all courses, so surely he’d see his hero course classmates in the cafeteria. No one turns up Lunchrush’s food after all

He smiled and took your hand, lifting himself from the floor with a thankyou

“I’m Ojiro, by the way. You are...?”

He was rather polite to talk to the entire walk, his grip on your hand was soft, gentle, and his smile never seemed to waver

Kaminari

Swing yer partner round and round

“Oh this is my JAM!”

Mina excitedly turned up your shitty little radio before kicking herself up off the floor, grabbing Sero all in one quick motion

The two danced horribly off beat, you quickly guess Mina had never heard this song before in her life, just wanted to get moving

“Come on you two, it’s dance break time!”

You found yourself enraptured with her energy, already forgetting the homework you all were doing

Kaminari took your hand much like how Mina took Sero’s and began to dance just as off beat and spuratic as queen pinkie had

You laughed, stumbling with every step, same as the others, the giggling energy filling a previously silent room

Denki’s fingers dug into your knuckles as he smirked, suddenly spinning on his heel and dragging you with him

The two of you became a tornado in your tiny dorm room, barely keeping from knocking into your tea table as you spun like a couple of children

You could hear Mina cheer and laugh, a brief glanced told you Sero was recording this silly moment

You looked across the way at your dance partner

Spinning, laughing his head off like this was the most fun he’d ever had, eyes closed, caring not for his surroundings

You decided to let go

The momentum sent you both toppling, you safely into Mina, who was more then ready to catch you

Denki got the much less desirable aforementioned tea table, which sent him toppling backwards over the also aforementioned homework

If you all could have laughed any louder, you would

Bakugo

Sweaty hands

You always knew when Bakugo was going to hold your hand

He may think he’s smooth, wiping his hand on the pocket of his pants before reaching behind himself to grab at you

But you’d always notice

It was a good indicator you were walking too slow for his liking, or the area up ahead was crowed, or that he simply felt you were too far away

You couldn’t initiate holding hands, when he didn’t actively want to be in contact he’d keep his hands shoved deep in his pockets

So you just had to wait for him to wipe himself off and reach for you

You were free to wrap yourself around his arm whenever, though

He’ll look pissed, but won’t say a word

And if you move away, he’ll wipe his hand on his pants, and offer it to you, a silent plea for you to come back

Honenuki

Magic hands

You stretched out over the couch of the 1-B common room with a whine, the rest of your class in a similar state

Training was hell today, sparing with class 1-A was never a joke, and with Monoma egging the whole game up to be more than it should have been, it all just escalated to a point you all wish it hadn’t

“Alright, next.”

Honenuki, a godsend, your blessed angel, helped Tsuburaba off the second common room couch, his typically wide eyes closed and relaxed as he wobbled his way across the room

You happily took his place, stretching out on your stomach before your classmate with the magic powers of massage

His hands pressed into your back and you instantly relaxed, letting out a low hum as you snuggled the pillow under your chin

Honenuki returned your hum, his hands pressing into all your tenses spots, almost instantly releasing them from their knots

You’d probably have fallen asleep, if it wasn’t over so fast

He had the entire class to get though after all, though he hated to rush an art form

You took his hand as he helped you stand, the actual minute of his touch enough to wobble your legs

Kissing his knuckle and thanking him for sharing his magic, you found yourself plopped peacefully on the couch beside Tsuburaba

Honenuki chuckled at you as he called next, happy to be of service

Monoma

He’s showing off

You’d known for a while now Monoma didn’t know how to shut the fuck up

He’d brag about anything, over anyone, to everyone

He’d always loudly bragged about how much better his class was, how much stronger his friendships were, how absolutely amazing his partner was

You being said partner didn’t make said bragging less annoying

The two of you had been together less than an hour and he was already boasting about your perfection to all who would hear

Some genuine, loving, almost gaggingly sweet comments

Others just to rub it in the face of class 1-A as much as possible

A week into this relationship and people were starting to think you must be come kind of god with how Monoma spoke about you

You’d been on two dates with the guy

Now here you were, holding his hand on the walk to class, and regretting every step

As every single person who passed must take note of the fact you were holding his hand

And also must be aware how blessed he is to be holding your hand in return

And really you started to understand the concerned look Kendo gave you when you told her you’d agreed to date Neito Monoma

Still his words were genuine, no matter how they came across, and he truly had a million and one things to say about you

So you could hold though the embarrassment his overexcited bragging may cause

He just wants to show you off

Mirio

Quietly

You sat by his bed side, holding gently to his limp hand

Moments ago he was inconsolable, crying and screaming his lungs out

His quirk gone

His teacher gone

Everything he worked so hard for seemed to vanish in an instant

His grip, still so strong, had left your hand bruised, circulation cut off

It wasn’t a concern you really had

Sleeping, his pain was still so obvious

Bags under his eyes, dried streaks of tears still down his keeps

And your hand still tightly gripped in his

What would happen next, where he would go, who you all would become

They were all problems for the future

Tomorrow you could work on a solution

Tonight, you could hold his hand

[fanficimagery]

They’re So Not Holograms.

Imagine being expelled from school so your uncle Ray offers to take you in and offers you a chance to start over. You accept and you're in for one heck of a story when you realize you're not the only occupant of the Molina garage.

Words: 10K Warnings: This is my first work for JatP, so I apologize in advance for the OOCness of them all. I had no idea what was going to make the final edit, so yeah.. this is not my best work. Be warned that there's mention of an incident that involves a straight guy not taking no for an answer from a lesbian girl. I won't go into detail of that particular scene since it happened before Y/N shows up on the Molina's front doorstep, but it is mentioned which is why I'm warning you now.

Staring up at the large two story home you usually visit every summer and every spring break, you can't help but sigh and wish you were visiting rather than moving in. You love your uncle and your cousins, but you were forced to leave a lot behind in order for your parents to keep their jobs and their mostly in-tact reputations after your little incident.

The front door opens, the shortest and youngest of the bunch jogging straight for you. You drop your duffel bag and prep yourself for Carlos throwing his weight at you, and you catch him with a laugh as you spin from the momentum. "Carlos! Dang, little man, you're growing fast." Julie walks up soon after, shaking her head in amusement at the two of you as you settle her little brother back on the ground and then ruffle his hair. He swats at your hand before you give Julie your attention then. "Hey, superstar. How's it hanging?"

"Hey, Y/N," she muses, "was the drive okay?"

"Eh. I angry karaoke'd all the way here." You shrug. "So where's uncle Ray?"

"Upstairs trying to figure out how to divide Julie's room for the two of you," Carlos says.

Your smile falls and you look at Julie. "What? He's making us share?"

"Yeah. It's totally fine though," she says when she notices your expression.

"No way, Jules! I can't put you out like that. That's not fair."

"It's fine, Y/N. Really."

"Julie, we're both teenage girls. I love you, but you know our hormones will eventually make us clash."

"And on that note, I'm going back inside."

You grin at Carlos' hasty escape, but then quickly refocus on the situation at hand. "God Jules, I'm so sorry. I thought uncle Ray would put me in the spare room or on the living room couch or something."

"Well the spare room was originally the plan," she says, "but then we remembered all of mom's stuff was in there." You cringe, but she assures you it's okay. "And you're going to be here for a while. You are not sleeping on the couch."

You sigh and offer her a faint smile. "I'm sorry to be an even bigger pain in the butt, but I'm not staying in your room either."

"It's either my room or Carlos' room. I suggest you choose wisely, cousin."

"I-"

"Y/N!" Your uncle Ray suddenly appears in the doorway, walking down the sidewalk towards you. "Carlos told me you had gotten in. How are you doing, mija?" He wraps you in a brief hug, kissing your forehead in greeting.

"Hey, uncle Ray. I'm doing good. How are you?"

"I'd be better if I knew where you were gonna sleep." He sighs. "Carlos also told me we have a bedroom dilemma as you refuse to share with Julie."

"I'm really sorry." You frown. "If I were only staying here for a few weeks, I'd be stoked to share with Julie. But it's not a couple of weeks, uncle Ray."

"I know and I'm sorry for trying to shove two teenage girls into one space." You smile sheepishly at him as he seems to understand your reasoning as well. "But the only other space I can think of is the studio garage out back." You seem to perk up a bit, attention solely focused on your uncle that you don't notice Julie's eyes widening. "Julie uses it to practice with her band, but there's a loft that we've recently cleaned out. There's a bathroom in there already, so all I'd need to do is drag a mattress up there. That is if you don't mind all the musical racket."

"Y-yeah. Of course! I don't mind at all." You say, feeling just an ounce of excitement of having your own space.

"What? No," Julie laughs nervously. "I'm sure Y/N doesn't want to live in our garage all on her own. Right?"

"What? Are you kidding me?" You huff. "It'd be like having my own mini apartment, only my favorite cousin in the entire world gets to visit everyday!"

Julie looks like she wants to object some more, which is surprising, but she eventually slumps and shakes her head. "Okay. Just as long as you're sure."

"Of course I'm sure."

"Then I'll go move stuff around. Give me your duffel bag," she holds her hand out for you to pick up your bag and hand it over, "and I'll take it out back. You go inside and help dad bring the mattress out."

"Sounds like a plan." Feeling better about your situation now, you quickly hand your cousin your duffel bag and then follow after your uncle Ray inside their home.

Julie sighs, shaking her head in amusement as she catches the pep in Y/N's step. As soon as the front door is shut, she quickly runs around the house, down the stone steps, and into the studio garage where the boys are chilling. They, however, jump up to their feet upon seeing Julie's hasty entrance.

"Okay so we have a problem."

"What? What is it? Did your not dad not take the ghost secret well?" Reggie asks, whining. "Aw man. I knew we should have waited. Does he hate us now? He hates me. Right?"

Julie's eyes, having widened at Reggie's rapid fire questions, blink owlishly at him. "One, slow down. And two, no I haven't told my dad. I can't seem to find the right time."

"Okay then," Luke drawls. "So what's the problem?"

"My cousin got expelled from her school so my dad offered to let her move in and she's going to be living in the loft. In here. With you guys."

Alex slowly leans atop the piano, clearly intrigued. "Whoa. What'd she do?"

Julie opens her mouth to answer, but then closes it and settles for a shrug. "I'm not sure. Dad wouldn't tell us when we asked. He just said there was an incident and if Y/N didn't move in with us, then her parents would have to relocate and she already had a rocky relationship with them so.." she says, smiling fondly. "She's better suited for our family anyway. She's more like a sister to me than a cousin."

Reggie raises his hand as if he needs to, to ask a simple question. "Is this cousin of yours hot?" Alex is immediate to reach over and smack his friend. "Ow! What?" He wonders as he rubs his arm. "I'm just asking what me and Luke are thinking."

"Hey, bro, do not bring me into this!" Luke quickly defends himself. He then glances at Julie, lips stretching into a small smile. "You gonna tell her about us?"

"I'm going to have to, aren't I? I can't exactly leave her in the dark while you three are lurking about. I don't want her to do something she doesn't want anyone else to see."

Reggie nods, smiling. "Like getting naked."

Alex moves to hit his friend again, but then realizes Reggie is right. If he were in Julie's cousin's shoes, he wouldn't want to strip while three ghosts watched on unknowingly. Instead he sighs and Julie nods in agreement. "Exactly. I'm going to tell her. I just- I'm not sure when. So until I do, you three need to be on your best behavior."

"Jules," Luke feigns being hurt as he clutches at his chest, "it's us you're talking about. When have we ever misbehaved?" Julie huffs, crosses her arms over her chest, and raises an eyebrow at Luke. His façade cracks as he laughs. "Fine. We'll be on our best behavior until you tell her about her roommates."

"Thank you." She rolls her eyes, but before she can say any more Carlos is jogging into the room.

"Okay so Y/N and dad are almost here. Tell your ghostly dude-bros to chillax and not scare her like Reggie did tía Victoria."

Reggie squawks. "You scare an adult one time and he never lets you forget it."

Julie chuckles at her ghostly friend while her brother glances around in hopes of seeing them. Ever since Julie freed them from Caleb Covington's curse and was able to finally touch them, they had the choice of turning visible whenever they felt like it. But for some reason, they were more comfortable as ghosts and only turned solid when they got the desire to eat food.

The garage door suddenly opens wide and Ray walks in, one end of the mattress settled on the back of his neck. Y/N is on the other end, struggling slightly with the mattress in her hands.

"I am not meant for physical activity."

Carlos giggles at his cousin's words, jogging over to help her. But when they get to the steep stairs, both Y/N and Carlos leave it up to Ray to figure out how he's going to get the mattress up into the loft. He does, eventually, and then Ray drags Carlos back towards the house with him to retrieve sheets, pillows, and a blanket.

"Oh my god. She is cute!" Reggie muses.

Alex chuckles, but Luke is caught staring at Y/N with awe etched into his features. Alex nudges Reggie and gestures to their friend, and Julie tries her best to fight off a grin. Oh to be able to tease him right about now on having a crush on Y/N as he did to her with Nick that one time while she was in school.

"Listen," Y/N says as she nears Julie. "I know this was tía Rose's place and I know how much it means to you." Julie smiles sadly as Y/N starts to walk around, eyeing the piano, drums, bass, and guitar appreciatively. The boys make sure to stay out of her way as they watch her every move. "I promise to keep my place nice and tidy, and to not mess with anything down here." She goes to touch the drum set, but thinks better of it and pulls her hand back as she smiles sheepishly.

Alex is quick to point it out. "I like her! She knows boundaries."

"Just say the word and I'll be out of your way when you're here with the band."

"It's no problem. Really," Julie assures you. "I, uh, I already called the boys to let them know. They're excited to meet you."

You pause and meet your cousin's eyes. "Really? I-I mean cool."

Julie's eyes narrow at your reaction and the way you can't seem to meet her eyes. "You think they're cute, don't you?"

You cave with a relieved sigh of her automatically knowing. "So cute." Alex rolls his eyes with an amused smile as Reggie and Luke high five, chuckling at their good fortune. "But boundaries! They are your bandmates and I won't interfere other than offering my friendship. Heck I won't even let it be known that I find them cute."

Julie chuckles, angling her head down as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "It's a little too late for that."

"Hmm? What did you say?"

Her head snaps up. "Nothing! Nothing," her chuckles now sound a little nervous. "So, uh, is there anything else we need to get from your car?"

"Oh yeah! I have some stuff that needs to come in." As Julie joins her cousin's side, Y/N asks, "Is there any place I can set up my laptop and printer?"

"Of course. Come on. Let's get you set up. I'm sure you're ready to get some sleep."

"So ready," you groan. "I don't have much to unpack, but I want to settle in before I start school on Monday."

As the two girl cousins walk out of the studio, the three ghostly boys watch them leave.

"Oh yeah. She's definitely hot."

"Hey. Come on, dude." Luke softly swats at Reggie. "That's Julie's cousin you're talking about."

"What? I'm just stating facts," Reggie says. "And besides it's you we should be worried about." He steps towards Luke, reaching for his face. "I think I still see a bit of drool. You might wanna wipe that off."

Alex laughs as Luke rolls his eyes. "Whatever. We're ghosts anyway. It's not like anything can happen between us."

"Can't it?" Alex muses, shoving his hands deep into his front pockets. "I mean we can turn solid now. If you want something to happen, it can definitely happen." Reggie smirks as Luke takes a moment to process his friend's words. "And while you think on that, I'm gonna go see what Willie's up to. See you later!"

Alex poofs out of the room, leaving Reggie and Luke. Reggie laughs at his friend's sudden ghostly crisis, stepping closer to him and clasping his shoulder in hand. "Dude, we're ghosts. If something happens, it happens. Just don't get attached." And with that, Reggie poofs out too.

Luke hears Julie and her cousin's laughter ring out, the two girls already coming back. His eyes widen and he poofs out as well. The girl was cute, he will admit that, but he needed to get his head on straight before he became a pining ghost.

You spend the weekend with Julie, surprising her best friend Flynn with your new living situation and then driving them around since neither of them had their driving permit. The girls had kept you busy at the beach and showing you their favorite food places. Sometimes you would catch your cousin mumbling to thin air, but Flynn was quick to distract you and you ended up forgetting Julie's weird behavior minutes later.

Monday morning rolls around and, after taking your time to get ready, you grab your backpack and exit the studio to head inside the house. Uncle Ray has cooked up a breakfast feast, and Julie and Carlos are just coming down the stairs as you're taking a seat at the table.

You smile through a yawn as a plate is placed in front of you. "Whoa. That was a big one," uncle Ray says. "Did you sleep well?"

"Sorry. And yeah," you say. "I love it out there, although it is a bit colder than I expected."

Julie freezes as Carlos snorts. "Sorry about that. It's just our resident ghosts. Ow!"

You frown as he glares at his sister, said sister laughing nervously as she glances between you and Carlos. "Don't listen to him. Ghosts? Pft. What ghosts?"

Ray chuckles as Carlos rolls his eyes, the young boy digging into his eggs and sausage as Julie quickly casts him a brief glare.

You glance between the siblings suspiciously, but don't give it much thought and start in on your own breakfast. "Well if you need a portable heater, we can get you one."

Carlos opens his mouth to retort, but upon seeing his sister's stare he thinks better about it. You fight off a smile, shaking your head at your uncle. "It's fine. I usually kick my blanket off in the middle of the night which is why I get cold when a gust of cool air hits me. I just need to learn not to kick off the blankets. I'll be fine."

"Alright. Well eat up, guys. I need to head into the office as soon as I drop you off."

Carlos nods, but you and Julie frown at him. She looks at you and you look at her, and then you look at your uncle. "Um, uncle Ray, did you forget I drive? I can take Carlos with Julie and I. We were going to pick up Flynn as well."

"Huh. I forgot you drove." You grin up at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. From what I saw, Carlos' school campus is on our way to the high school. It'll be fine."

Uncle Ray seems to sag with relief. "Thanks so much, mija. I can actually head in early today then." Carlos cheers about riding with his cousin instead of being dropped off by his dad. "Well if you're all set, I'll see you guys after school. We'll go out for burgers tonight."

This time it's your turn to cheer. "Yes!"

          - - - - - - - - - - 

The first day of school went about as expected. Everyone was drawn to you as the new girl and Flynn thrived under the attention, but you mostly kept to yourself unless Julie introduced you to someone. You met Nick and thought he was okay, and then hid your amusement when Flynn would tease Julie about him breaking up with his girlfriend Carrie for her.

Of course not everyone was a fan of your cousin and you met the one person who seemed to dislike her the most. You knew Carrie from previous summers, but she and Julie had a falling out and no one would mention why. Not even Flynn. So figuring it was none of your business, you let it go but ended up staring Carrie down when she tried to intimidate you. Needless to say, the junior had nothing on you and didn't seem keen to start anything with a senior after your feathers didn't ruffle as easily as she thought.

Julie had more homework than you, so while she focused inside the house at the kitchen table, you went to the studio and up into your loft. The second you plop down onto the bed, a cold gust of wind sweeps up your back. You shiver, frowning, but then move on with a shake of your head.

From your backpack you pull out your Algebra II and History textbooks. You immediately start working on history, reading the assigned passages and answering the questions that follow. It takes you half an hour to complete it and before you move on to Math you reach over and grab your laptop from the bedside table. However when you open it up, your laptop automatically comes to life and you're left frowning at the YouTube page it's been left on.

"What the.. this is weird," you mumble. You briefly glance at the top Rock songs from the last decade before exiting out of YouTube and bringing up iTunes, choosing your Math Blows playlist and closing your eyes in brief bliss as Queen starts to play.

But the moment Bohemian Rhapsody ends and Aerosmith's Dude (Looks Like a Lady) begins, you get started on Math. It takes you a little bit longer to complete the assignment than History took you, but by the time you're done Julie has yet to find you. So after putting everything back into your backpack and setting it aside, you roll across your bed and reach into a hard plastic tote that holds some of your belongings. You pull out your drawing tablet and a stack of stickers, and then head on downstairs to the couch.

Drawing caricatures was a hobby of yours and you just so happened to have a friend who would take your edits and turn them into stickers. For now you have about five stickers of each member of your cousin's band- caricature style- and the name of whatever instrument they played curved underneath their faces. Lately you've been working on a sticker that said 'Julie and the Phantoms', but you couldn't get the font or coloring quite right.

You've just settled on coloring Julie's name in a purple that transitions into blue from one end to the other when said girl walks in, sodas in hand. "Finally," she sighs. "I didn't think I'd ever finish that homework. What are you doing?" She then asks as she hands over a Coke.

"I'm just messing around," you tell her as you show her what's on the tablet. "There's a small stack of stickers for you and the boys right there."

Julie glances at the table where you've gestured to and she walks over to pick up the stickers. She sets her soda down and skims through each sticker, a smile blossoming. "Did you- did you make these?"

You shrug. "I drew them, but my friend printed them. As soon as I finish this one I'm working on right now, I'm gonna email it to him so he'll make them into stickers as well."

Your cousin is so in awe that she's not paying you any attention, but you catch her murmuring beneath her breath and nodding along as if she were agreeing with something being said. She eventually looks up, chuckling. "These are sick. The boys are going to love them."

You smile. "I hope so. If you want more, just let me know. They're pretty cheap to make so I don't mind getting them for you guys."

"Can I- can I make a suggestion to the one you're working on now?"

"Oh. Yeah! Of course. What'd you have in mind?"

"Under the band name or wherever you think is good, can you add the words 'tell your friends!'?" She asks. "It's just something silly Reggie says every time the band is introduced."

"Yeah." You glance down at the tablet, trying to figure out the best placement. But then you look up, brow furrowed in thought. "Is this something only Reggie says?"

"Uh yeah. I guess so," she says, shaking her head at something off to her side.

You grin. "I have an idea. Let me try something out and see if you like it. Give me like ten minutes."

Julie sets the stickers back down, picking up her soda and cracking it open. You crack open yours as well, taking a sip before getting down to work. You make the sticker you originally had a little bit smaller, adding in a caricature of a waving Reggie from the waist up peeking out from behind the font. You add a speech bubble, filling it in with the requested 'Tell your friends!'.

When Julie sees it she can't help but laugh. "That's perfect. I'm sure he's gonna be stoked."

"Speaking of, when do I get to meet these hot friends of yours?"

Julie groans and you laugh as you finish coloring and resizing the sticker before sending it off to your friend to print. Closing your tablet, you give her your full attention as she's now sitting next to you on the couch. "Soon," she promises.

"Alright. So what are we doing until your dad gets home? You gonna sing for me, Jules? Give me my own private concert?"

She laughs. "No way. Just watch the Youtube videos. I'm sure Carlos posted every performance."

"Oh he did. And believe me when I say I've watched them. Repeatedly. That guitarist of yours has got some arms that are just- mmm." Julie groans some more, hiding her face in a pillow, and you laugh. "What? I need to get it out of my system before I meet them."

Julie lets the pillow fall into her lap, a smile turning up the corners of her mouth. "All I'm gonna say is don't be surprised if they know what you've said. They kind of have a sixth sense about these things."

"It's all good." You laugh some more.

You go to ask her if she wants to torment her little brother with you, but you see her amusement slowly die and you keep yourself from saying anything. "Hey Y/N, can I ask you something? You totally don't have to answer, but I'm really curious about it."

"Oh. Uh, sure."

"What happened at your old school that ended with you being expelled?"

Your smile falls. "Uncle Ray didn't tell you?"

"Not really. He just said there was a disagreement and a.. protest?"

You snort. It takes you a moment to collect your thoughts, but when you do you end up telling her exactly what happened. "I had this friend back at my old school. She's gay, but only those close to her knew. What it boiled down to was that some asshole found out and outed her to our entire school. Then this boy took things too far by, in his words, giving her what she was missing out on and trying to turn her straight." You roll your eyes, not noticing Julie smiling sympathetically off to the side. "He shoved his tongue down her throat, she tried to push him off of her, but he wouldn't budge. So I beat the shit out of him."

Julie chokes on her own saliva. "W-what?" And then she laughs.

"Well I hit him across the back of the head with one of those hard plastic lunch trays. And then when that broke I used the heaviest textbook I could get my hands on and hit him a few more times."

"Oh my god," she grins. "You're such a badass."

You laugh at your cousin's look of awe. "There was like a week of back and forth between the school and that douchebag's parents, and it made everyone at school show their true colors. I was disgusted that the guy practically got off with a slap on the wrist for assaulting my friend, so I contacted a few friends to make some signs for a mini-protest in front of the school and it kind of got out of control. A few friends turned into thirty and I think there were even a few drag queens in there. They had signs and Pride flags and it- it got pretty scary for a second when a fight almost broke out."

"I repeat," Julie smirks, "you're a badass."

"I was expelled because my protest drew in adult strangers to where many minor children attend school, but the expulsion wouldn't have mattered anyway because I had a restraining order slapped against me by that douchebag's parents and would have had to leave anyway."

"Screw them," Julie says. "That's so messed up."

"It is, but it worked out in my favor. I got out of my parents house and now get to spend the rest of my last year of high school with you."

"And your 18th birthday. You can't forget that," she muses. "It's only a few months away."

Your nose wrinkles. "No parties."

"But it's New Year's! Of course we're having a party," she gushes. "Your birthday is a rare one. Instead of blowing out a candle at midnight, you get to make out with someone."

Laughing, you reach over to nudge her. "You're something else, Jules. I don't know how you have your dad fooled about being so sweet and innocent." She giggles, batting her eyelashes at you. "Now come on. Lets go torment Carlos. It's been about a year since I've sat on him and made him listen to Barbie Girl on a loop."

You stand up, Julie laughing as you offer her a hand and pull her up off the couch.

By the end of your first week with the Molinas, you've settled into a routine that you're comfortable with. You had noticed Julie got a little squirrely whenever you mentioned the boys, so you dropped the subject of meeting them and figured it'd happen when the timing was right. Julie's tía Victoria was happy to have you around the family, she noticing a lightness around the house that she hadn't seen since her sister had passed.

Life with your cousins was going spectacularly well, so of course there had to be a bump in the road. And a major one at that.

You're sleeping when cold air suddenly seeps into your back, making you shiver and wake up briefly. You find your blanket and pull up over your shoulders, turning around in the process and.. rolling into something- er, someone solid. You're fully awake now.

"Ahh!" You scream.

The figure in bed with you jolts, screaming as well. "Ahh!"

"Who the hell are you?!" You move to punch at them, only for them to disappear right before your very eyes. You freeze as your heart drops into your stomach, your eyes blowing wide when he reappears at the foot of your bed. "What the- how did-"

Another figure pops in, grabbing the first by his ear. "Dude, not cool!"

Your sudden fear has you frozen and only capable of glancing between the two figures. Semi-slicked hair, leather jacket, flannel wrapped around his waist.. "R-Reggie?" You wonder aloud in confusion.

Both boys glance at you, the shaggy hair and killer arms in a cut off tee letting you know exactly who he was. You hold your blanket tighter to you, heart thumping wildly. Reggie grimaces in pain as he finally pulls free from Luke's hold. "Hiya. Sorry about waking you and all that. I totally should have asked before taking up the other side of your bed."

Luke shakes his head. "When Jules finds out she's going to kick your butt, man. We were supposed to ease her into the whole ghost business."

"G-ghost?"

Another figure pops in, the blonde sighing and shaking his head in disappointment at his friends. Alex. "I woke Julie. She'll be down here soon." Then he glances at you, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry about all this. Reggie and Luke are idiots."

"Can you blame me?" Reggie whines. "Y/N's bed is really comfortable. And I actually thought she'd just roll through me. I didn't know I'd gone solid. It was unintentional."

"Um," you gulp. "H-how would you know my bed was comfortable?" Reggie freezes and then suddenly looks very interested in the ceiling, and your eyes narrow at him. You sit up a little straighter, staring at Luke, but he too averts his gaze when he notices you're staring at him.

Alex is the only one amused and he meets your gaze with a smile. "These two idiots like to nap in your bed when you're in school."

"WHAT!?" The two guilty ghosts poof out, making you flinch as you suddenly remember they're not exactly normal boys.

"I told them it was going to bite them in the butts. I guess they hadn't counted on it being so soon." You blink owlishly at him, unsure of what to say now. After all, HE'S A GHOST! Alex notices your stare and sighs. "Well if you'd like to get dressed or whatever, Julie should be here any second now. We'll explain things then."

Alex poofs out and you're left staring at nothing but air. Your heart is still wildly thumping and there are only three words running through your mind: what.. the.. fuck.

After what seems like several long minutes, but really it was only about a minute after the boys had left you alone, the studio door opens and a frantic Julie rushes in. At the sound of her panicked voice, you throw off your blanket and scramble down the stairs.

Julie stares at you in shock, still in her own pajamas, before her gaze falls towards your legs and then back up to your own gaze. "Uh, Y/N? You forgetting something?" You glance down, frowning and wondering what she's talking about. "Pants, loser. You forgot pants."

"Yeah? And you forgot to tell me that ghosts are real!" She sighs as you stare her down, but then you subtly glance around for a pair of pants or shorts or something. Black sweats hit your shoulder and you meet Alex's sheepish gaze. Hesitantly smiling at him, you quickly step into them and drag them up your legs. "If they've been in here this whole time it's nothing they haven't seen before."

Reggie giggles and Alex shakes his head at friend. Luke, however, can't seem to look in your direction and there's a telltale flush on his cheeks. Huh, that's odd.

"I'm really sorry," Julie says. "I was going to tell you, but it was never the right time."

"Jules, the right time would have been when uncle Ray gave me permission to sleep out here."

She frowns guiltily at you and you know you're not really upset with her. The adrenaline of bumping into someone in your bed was still rushing through your veins which is why you seem a bit cranky. "If it'll help we can explain everything now?"

"Might as well," you sigh. "I don't think I'll be able to fall back asleep." You shuffle over towards the couch, eyeing each boy on the way. Sitting down, you drag a pillow into your lap and hug it. "So.. what the hell is going on?"

Your cousin and the boys glance at one another, Reggie and Luke subtly shaking their heads. Alex rolls his eyes and steps forward to stand with Julie. It looked like they were going to be the ones to explain.

"Okay, so," Alex says. "Luke, Reggie, and I died twenty five years ago."

Immediately your hand raises and Alex falls silent. "Quick question. If you guys are supposedly ghosts, then why was I able to actually feel Reggie?"

"That part comes in later. Just please listen," Julie pleads.

You nod, gesturing for them to continue then. Alex flashes you a small smile. "So we died-"

"Death by hotdog," Reggie sadly muses.

Luke nods along. "I'll never look at another hotdog the same way again."

You can't help but snort, especially when Alex and Julie roll their eyes at the interruption. "Anyway, as I was saying," Alex says, raising his voice a little higher, "we died. We ended up in this dark room for what felt like an hour and then got spit out here in Julie's garage when she played one of our demo CD's."

"Only it wasn't an hour later," Julie says next. "It was twenty five years later." You shake your head in utter amazement. "At first I was the only one able to see them. Then when I had a performance at school and the boys performed behind me in solidarity, they could- they could be seen! The entire school could see them, but then as soon as the performance was over they poofed out."

"Hence the phantom part of the band name," you mumble.

"We let everyone believe we're holograms," Alex says. "Anyway, we used to be a band of four before we died. Sunset Curve. The only one to survive went on and skyrocketed to fame with songs that Luke wrote."

"He didn't!?" Your eyes widen. You glance at Luke to see him frowning. "What a dick thing to do."

The boys all snort, but a moment later Alex continues to tell their story. "We were pissed and ended up being introduced to this ghost who was supposed to help us get revenge on our ex-band mate. Only this ghost was old and powerful and wanted us to join his ghostly club house band."

"And when he noticed we weren't going to join him, he stamped us with a curse," Luke finally speaks up. "The longer we were away from his club, we got hit with these painful jolts. They started to become more frequent and would have eventually destroyed our souls."

"But our girl Julie," Reggie muses, "cried her big heart out and, we're not sure exactly how, was able to touch us. Her touch made us feel stronger, warmer, and it disappeared the stamps off our wrists."

"And now I have three ghostly brothers who can go corporeal whenever they feel like it," Julie says as she hooks her arm through Alex's. You grin at her. "I really am sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

You wave her off. "At least the truth came out before I was in a rush to go somewhere and whipped off my shirt. I'd have hated to traumatize the boys."

"Oh please traumatize me." The words are mumbled, but still heard by everyone. Every gaze darts to, surprisingly, Luke and his eyes widen as cheeks redden. "Did I- did I say that out loud?"

Reggie snorts. "You did."

"Well I- I didn't mean-" Luke rubs at the back of his neck, falling silent and then poofing out.

The second Luke is gone, everyone bursts into laughter. You laugh so much that tears gather in the corner of your eyes and Julie is hanging off of Alex's arm. Reggie is the first to recover and mentions going to check on his boy, and then it was just Alex with you and Julie.

You eventually stand up, intent on doing something now that you've had this big secret dropped into your lap, when Alex takes a step in your direction. He pauses and you quirk an eyebrow at him. "Can I just say thanks for being so cool about this? I mean you could have ran inside the house and alerted everyone like Julie first did-"

"Hey! Not cool." Said girl pouts, swatting Alex with the back of her hand.

"-but you didn't. Sure you freaked, but I would too if I woke up next to Reggie."

You chuckle softly. "You guys are just lucky I hate physical activity and loathe running." Alex grins at you. "Plus I guess your secret is pretty cool. I'm okay living with ghosts so long as no ghosts occupy my bed while I'm still in it."

"Noted. I'll be sure to let the boys know."

"Thanks." As soon as Alex poofs out, your chill façade drops. "Oh my god, Julie!" You hiss. "They're ghosts!"

Her smile falters. "Uh, yeah."

"They're ghosts who heard me talking about how cute they were and about Luke's arms!"

"Oh yeah." She chuckles. "Well if it's any consolation, Luke is clearly into you. He totally wants you to traumatize him with your boobs."

"It's not funny!"

She fights to contain her amusement. "It kind of is."

"Ugh. Julie," you groan. "This is so embarrassing."

"Relax. They'll probably poke fun for a few days before letting it slide. Just give them a chance, Y/N. They're really cool guys."

"God I hope you're right."

Now that the secret is out, the boys are corporeal more often than not inside the studio. Reggie and Luke take pleasure in teasing you, the two of them bringing up stuff you said about them when they were invisible or drawing attention to Luke's arms or Luke somehow suddenly needing to change to his shirt while in your presence. You made promises to get him back- to which Alex couldn't wait for to see what you came up with- but you've yet to fulfill that promise because there were more pressing matters at hand.

You're more than okay with keeping their secret, but it's only a matter of time before uncle Ray catches them. They like interacting with you, Flynn, and Carlos so they're visible quite a lot, but anytime uncle Ray nears it's a race to clean up any evidence of their presence and then poof out. You manage to convince Julie to tell her dad with promises that you'd be by her side the entire time, so she does. It had seemed uncle Ray was moments away from asking if she needed to see her therapist again when Reggie poofed in, followed by the other two boys who slapped him upside the head for doing so. Needless to say, Ray was shocked to his core but accepted the boys after seeing them interact with his two children and yourself. However, it was agreed by all that tía Victoria could not know the secret.

One day you had gone shopping for a couple new outfits with the girls and figured it was now or never to get Luke back. Sure they had seen you in an overly large shirt and boy short underwear, but they'd never seen you in proper lingerie. And when Flynn and Julie had caught on, they helped you choose the most daring piece of underwear to stun the ghost boy from the 90's.

When you get back to the studio, Julie pokes her head in first since she was the only one capable of seeing them when they were invisible. "Alex, where's Luke and Reggie?"

"They mentioned going down to the beach. Why?"

You and Flynn stumble in then, giggling. "It's payback time, my favorite ghostie. Your boy is not gonna know what hit him."

Alex's eyes light up. "Yes. What did you have in mind?"

"Two words," Flynn says. "Victoria's Secret."

"Oh no. You're gonna kill him all over again."

You mockingly glare at him. "He caught me ogling his v-line, Alex! He deserves to see exactly what I'm working with and not be able to touch."

He grins. "Can I see what you chose?"

"Duh. I need you to choose which set is going to make him lose his mind."

Walking over towards Alex, you set the bags down and sit on the couch beside him. Julie and Flynn sit on the armrests, eagerly waiting for you to dig out your purchases. And when you do, Alex's eyes widen before he bursts into laughter.

There are three identical sets of bras, panties, and garter belts in the colors of black, navy blue, and emerald green. You giggle as Alex takes choosing seriously, he picking up an article in each color and holding it to your arm. He hums in thought.

"In my opinion the blue suits your skin tone best, but I'd still go with the green."

You take it, carefully cutting tags off. "And this is why I love you. You're the best."

"Mhm. So how do you plan to have him see you in this?"

"I actually have an interview with the people uncle Ray works with in two days. I might not be able to take pictures, but I am good with all the technology stuff," you say. "I can pretend the straps to the belt are aggravating me and walk out to ask for your help."

Alex giggles. "You're evil."

"He started it." You shrug. "And besides, lingerie is such a confidence booster. You guys have no idea," you chuckle.

And then two days later you finally put your plan into motion. Flynn was bummed she couldn't be there, but Julie managed to be in the studio for your surprise after having pulled Luke into an impromptu writing session. Reggie, after having been given permission to use your laptop whenever he wanted, was watching Youtube videos, and Alex was flipping through a magazine not too far from his friend where he constantly glanced at the bathroom door rather anxiously.

Not too long after you enter the bathroom in a rush, you having screeched about being behind schedule for your meeting on the way in there, you start making a racket and cursing just loud enough to be heard outside the door. Outside, Alex does his best to fight off a grin.

Inside the bathroom, you've slipped into the emerald green lingerie, black garter belt, and black stockings. Both bra and panties are lace, giving the illusion of being sheer, but your important bits are still covered which is why you're more than okay walking out in this particular set. You spritz some body spray over your cleavage and abdomen, grinning when you see yourself sparkling as you move, and then quickly clip your garter belt to the tops of your stockings. However, for the clips in the back, you purposely twist the straps when you clip them on.

You curse some more to make everyone outside believe you're having some sort of problem, groaning for good measure, and then crack open the bathroom door to stick your head out. "Hey Jules, can you give me a hand?" You ask, already knowing what she's going to say.

"Mmm," she mumbles distractedly, writing in her notebook.

Luke glances between you and Julie, Reggie has clearly paused his video to see what's going on, and Alex takes his cue. "I can help," he calls out as he tosses his magazine aside. "What do you need?"

You frown at your cousin when she purposely doesn't look at you before looking at Alex, inhaling deeply before you straighten up and open the door wider. Given his position, Reggie is the first to take notice of your outfit and whimpers. Audibly. Julie and Luke look up then, Julie hiding her smile and Luke's eyes widening as his jaw drops open in shock.

"I'll do it! I can help you," Reggie blurts, cheeks red. He gulps. "What exactly is it you need help with?"

Walking towards Alex, you mockingly glare at Reggie and then ruffle his hair on your way to his blonde friend. You stop in front of him, turning around and then glancing over your shoulder at him. "The garter belt," you say. "I keep getting the straps twisted."

"On it." You see a smile threatening to break free as he immediately takes hold of the clasps and rights the wrong, and you turn around so you don't lose it yourself.

Only when you face forward, you can't help but snort at Reggie's awestruck expression and the fact that Luke is faring no better. But Luke is the one who seems to know almost immediately what you're playing at and his eyes narrow when his gaze finally meets your own. However, before he can call you out on your act, there's a distinct snap!, a brief stinging pain on the back of your thigh, and you whirl around on Alex.

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry," he laughs, immediately sitting back and out of range of your swatting swing. "I couldn't help myself."

You shake your head in amusement before making sure the strap isn't twisted anymore and then make your way back towards the bathroom. It's oddly quiet as you finish getting dressed behind the bathroom door, and then exit in a cream-colored blouse tucked inside a black pencil skirt. Julie wolf whistles when you exit and you wrinkle your nose at her as you head towards your heels to slip your feet into.

Once your heels are on and you run your fingers through your hair to give it a very stylish, mussed look, you can't help but meet Luke's gaze. When you notice his slackened expression, you wink and finally allow yourself to laugh.

Red rushes to his cheeks as he narrows his eyes at you. "You're the devil."

"And don't you forget it," you immediately retort. "Keep it up, Patterson. I won't play fair and I promise my next look will drive you to take a cold shower." Alex finally loses the battle with his laughter, as does Julie, and Luke frowns at you. "Now that I've pranced around half naked, it's time I get to my interview. Wish me luck?"

"Luck!" Julie immediately shouts. As soon as Y/N disappears, there's a telltale beep and Julie lowers her phone. She glances between Luke and Reggie, shaking her head and chuckling. "God you straight boys are so easily distracted. Flynn's going to be so mad she missed this."

Luke points to where Y/N disappeared, stammering over his words before he finally gets proper hold of his thoughts. "She doesn't play fair!"

After what you would have called a successful interview, you went back to the studio where you found Luke all alone. You ended up calling a truce with him, but that ended up being a terrible decision on your part. Because interacting with a Luke who was as genuine as can be without the flirtatious behavior or teasing, well it turned out you found yourself liking the boy a little more than you should.

When Halloween came you found yourself dressing up alongside Flynn and Julie. Normally you'd have gone for something sexy, but after parading around half naked and knowing uncle Ray would not appreciate his underage daughter showing off too much skin, you settled for something that would make everyone laugh. You, Julie, and Flynn agreed to dress up as the boys, but you couldn't take their clothes until the day of. So when Halloween morning rolled around, Carlos and uncle Ray kept the boys busy while you and the girls raided their stash of clothes in the studio.

Julie took Alex's pink Champion hoodie and a snapback to shove down backwards atop her curls, Flynn wore Reggie's leather jacket atop a plain tee and wrapped a red flannel around her waist, and you took Luke's white Rush shirt with its cut off sleeves and a blue hoodie that also had it's sleeves cut off. You had giggled with each other when you all saw the final outcome and even took a few pictures to post to your personal Instagrams.

Then when the boys finally came in, it took them a moment to realize what they were seeing and it only clicked when you stepped forward and said, "Hey! We're Sunset Curve."

And then Flynn stepped forward, shooting finger guns at the boys. "Tell your friends."

Julie snorted and the boys burst into laughter, and then you took even more pictures with the boys- only when they were posted online you captioned them that you were the Phantoms from Julie and the Phantoms. Then when all was said and done, the six of you took Carlos trick-or-treating around the neighborhood while uncle Ray and tía Victoria cooked up a Halloween feast.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were emotional holidays for quite a few of you. The boys for obvious reasons- they being dead and not able to spend time with their loved ones- and you because while your parents could be more decent, you loved them all the same and wished the circumstances between you were different. But uncle Ray was understanding and made sure everyone had more than enough food and presents, and the night ended with everyone under the age of twenty falling asleep in the living room after admiring all their new belongings.

New Year's Eve rolls around and you're excited for two reasons- one being because of the fireworks that will no doubt go off at midnight and because at that exact same moment you'll be turning 18. Everyone expected you wanted a big party, but you surprised them all when you said all you wanted invited was everyone in the Molina household + studio, Flynn, and tía Victoria. You just wanted to have karaoke and a jam session, and some fireworks. You didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

The morning of New Year's Eve, you're woken up by Reggie bouncing on your mattress. But instead of being grouchy about it, you laugh and then yelp when Luke and Alex poof in to pop confetti poppers above you. You sit up, keeping the blanket across your lap as you shake your hair free of the shimmering mess.

"Happy birthday," Alex says, sitting down beside you and hugging you. "Ray said to be inside in twenty minutes. He's got a whole breakfast spread planned."

"Technically it's not my birthday yet, but thank you very much. I'll be inside as soon as possible."

Alex beams before Reggie takes his place, he leaning in and kissing your cheek with a loud smack. You giggle and accept his hug. "Happy birthday, my beautiful living friend. You don't look a day over 30."

You snort and then shove at his shoulder. "Shut up and get out. You don't get to be mean to the birthday girl."

"I thought it technically wasn't your birthday?" He winks at you. "Now hurry up. We can't eat until you do." And then with one last grin, Reggie poofs out.

Sighing happily, you stare up at Luke then. He grins as he readily lowers himself onto your mattress, laying on his stomach and keeping his expression directed at you. "Are you ready for tonight?"

"Am I ready to be a year older? Not really," you say. "But I am ready for some sparklers."

He chuckles. "Age is just a number, Y/N."

"Says the ghost who's forever 17," you mumble.

"Do you want me to find you a rancid hotdog? Because I will. Then the two of us will forever be 17."

"You're such an idiot." You can't stop grinning, especially when he mentions the way he died. It was terrible they died, but absolutely hilarious that it was death by hotdog for them. "I still don't understand how you didn't notice the weenie was bad. Rancid meat smells disgusting and you ate it!"

"In our defense we thought the smell was coming from the trash in the alley." You can only shake your head at him. "And we were still riding the rush of sound check inside the Orpheum."

"Your idiocy amazes me," you deadpan. "Now go on. I need to put on pants and brush my teeth. I'll meet you inside."

"Oh now you want to be all shy about walking around in your underwear." Luke playfully rolls his eyes. "Okay."

"You know what? I was being considerate so my near nudity didn't turn you into a stammering fool, but now I think I'll just do it." You grab your blanket to throw it off of you, but Luke quickly scrambles up and off your bed.

"Okay. Okay! I'll see you inside."

As soon as Luke poofs out, you grin to yourself like an idiot. The tension between the two of you was obvious from the beginning and it's still there even after you called a truce. You giddily get up and head on downstairs, making your way towards the bathroom to freshen up before heading inside. But as you're brushing your teeth, you realize you can't stop thinking about Luke. Which is kind of a bad thing. For you.

Everyone who has eyes can see the way Luke looks at you and the way you look at him, but given he's a ghost and you're very much alive you've agreed that nothing can happen between the two of you. Not just because of his ghostly status, but because of his status as Julie's bandmate- which is another problem they need a solution for but they won't worry about it until they have a record deal in their clutches. After then, they'll worry about revisiting the boys' family they had left behind when they died.

Quickly fixing your hair, you pull on a pair of leggings afterward and start making your way out of the studio. You sigh and come to the conclusion that for now you'd just enjoy the company of a cute ghost. You can totally get over the silly crush in no time.

          - - - - - - - - - -

As you're getting ready for the night, you're surprised there's a knock on the floor of the loft right before Luke's head pops up by the stairs. "Is it okay if I come on up?"

"Yeah. Of course," you say. You grab your boots before sitting on the edge of your mattress, slipping your feet inside of them and start lacing up. Luke stands off to the side, a little sheepishly, and you grin at him. "Something up? You're too quiet."

"Yeah. No, I'm good." He chuckles a little nervously and then finally moves to take a seat next to you. When he's seated, you nudge him with your shoulder to get him to lighten up. "I just- we got you a present and I've been nominated to hand it over."

"A present? From who?"

"Well it was originally from Ray, Jules, and Carlos," he says, "but when us ghosties wanted to get you something too, it kind of turned into a joint gift from all of us." Luke reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. You quirk an eyebrow at him as he hands the it over and immediately lift the lid. You coo at the silver charm bracelet inside and then lift it to examine the charms. "Ray, Julie, and Carlos had the laptop, dahlia, and lightning bolt charms already on there, but then we went back to the mall and had a microphone, a guitar, a bass, and drum sticks added to it."

"This is perfect. Help me put it on?"

You manage to unclasp the bracelet to slip it onto your right wrist and then Luke is scooting even closer to you so he can clasp it correctly. When he does, you twist your wrist back and forth so the charms jingle and fall correctly in place. Then you glance up at the same time Luke does, noses inches apart, and it's like both your breathing ceases.

Both your gazes seem to dart down to each other's lips and then you're jerking back while shakily inhaling. "You're trouble, Luke Patterson."

He smirks. "Fun trouble. You should try me sometime."

You can't believe the nerve of this ghost, so you roll your eyes, grin, and then climb to your feet. "Whatever you say, ghost boy. Now let's go. Tía Victoria was making me menudo for my birthday dinner."

Everyone at the Molina household is exactly who you wanted there and you get a kick out of watching the ghost boys attempt the menudo, watching the way they freeze when it's explained what exactly is in the menudo. Alex and Luke had slowly swallowed what was in their mouth before proclaiming they were full, but Reggie shrugged it off and kept on eating.

Outside uncle Ray grilled up some burgers and hotdogs for those who weren't fans of the menudo, and Julie had brought out bags of sparklers. You, Flynn, and Alex wasted no time in sparking some sparklers up while Reggie, Luke, and Carlos grabbed ahold of some small cannons to shoot off into the quickly darkening sky.

Many laughs are had, running amok in the streets with sparklers, and many pictures are taken. Your favorite, by far, had to have been when Carlos accidentally caught Reggie's flannel on fire and he stopped, dropped, and rolled in the street. You, Flynn, and Julie were never going to let him forget that terrified expression of his.

But then there's only five minutes to midnight, uncle Ray and Carlos are carrying several large firework boxes into the middle of the street and hurriedly untangling some wires, and a birthday sash is being draped over your head by Julie.

Seeing your uncle Ray and Carlos space out large boxes have drawn some of the neighbors to see what no doubt is going to a firework display, and you excitedly wait several feet away from the impending commotion.

Suddenly tía Victoria starts a countdown from twenty, Flynn hands out party horns, and everyone excitedly joins in.

"FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE. HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

You blow your party horn, laughing when you spot Reggie jumping on Alex and Luke's backs in excitement. Uncle Ray hits a button in hand and the first box shoots off it's first firework. The explosions of white, gold, pink, blue, purple, and green has everyone making happy remarks, and you watch on, not noticing everyone pairing off to watch the show (Alex and Reggie, tía Victoria and Carlos, and Julie and Flynn).

You're smiling up at an explosion of white crackles that chase each other across the sky when two arms wrap around your neck from behind and a body presses up close behind yours. You chuckle as your hands come up to grab onto a forearm and you briefly glance over your shoulder. It's Luke.

As you go back to watching your uncle put on a spectacular firework display, you feel warm breath fan across your ear. "Happy birthday, Y/N," Luke murmurs.

"Thank you." You smile brightly even though he can't see it and then glance over your shoulder once more, holding his gaze as your faces are literally an inch apart. "Happy New Year, Luke."

He beams at you and against your will your gaze darts to his lips. Your mind is whirling and you know everything about you and Luke is a bad idea, but you just can't help yourself. And apparently neither can he.

Luke is the one to close the distance, softly pressing his lips to yours. You smile against his lips, giggling some before adding a little bit more pressure so he doesn't think you're laughing at him. The entire situation is just a little bit hilarious to you.

After a few seconds you pull apart and the two of you end up laughing before you go back to watching the fireworks. Fortunately no one had been paying you any attention, so you and Luke can keep the kiss between the two of you.

You know for sure nothing can actually come out of whatever is going on between the two of you, but for now you're willing to take it one day at a time and come up with official rules later on the down the line.

[zeldasayer]

Futile Devices — Chapter 5

A Javier Peña/Call Me By Your Name AU

gif by @pascalplease

Javier Peña x Reader

Summary: Everything has changed since your father’s book with Javier was rejected, just as you and Javier were getting close.

Warnings: SMUT — age gap (reader is of age), inexperienced!reader themes, gagging, praise (use of “little girl”), vocal Javi, squirting. Angst. 18+

Masterlist | Chapter 4

——

Vita Murphy was born on April 9th 1963 in Milan, Italy to American architects Connie and Steve Murphy, who met your mother by chance one afternoon at a market in town. Taking a liking to Connie, Daisy invited her and her husband to one of their legendary parties. Your mother and father loved to entertain and invite interesting people into their home for cocktails and Daisy's delicious cooking. Your parents celebrated every holiday, birthday, or life event they could think of, any excuse to dress up, string lights through the fruit trees in the back yard and drink in excess to your father's extensive record collection. As a child, you missed most of the parties, having been put to bed just as they were taking off, but when Connie and Steve arrived to your mother's 35th birthday after meeting in the market, and saw you sitting alone at your piano, Connie knew that next time she would bring her daughter.

Even at 13 you felt the pull that Vita had. You watched as she floated around your home, seeming even more comfortable in it than you were, stealing sips of wine and hors d'oeuvres before noticing you and asking if you had ever had your tarot cards read.

"It's my favourite game." You spat out nervously unaware.

Vita just smiled with a nod, "Yeah. Mine, too."

And from then on, you were inseparable.

"She didn't cry, she sang!" Connie always said about her daughter's birth. "It was the happiest day of my life."

Made in her mother's stunning image, Vita had the most incredible large eyes and long blonde hair she cut only once a year. Connie knew at a young age that her daughter was special, as a believer in the universe and the infinite lives a person could have, she knew her daughter was an old soul put on Earth to love and protect the new souls, the tired souls, those who were born somewhere and didn't know why they were born there. She knew it would be quite the burden for one girl, but she saw it quickly in her daughter that it was what she was meant to do. A healer, a listener, someone who understood what many feared no one ever could. Vita attracted those who needed her, and in that, unfortunately led to a large turnover in friendships. Vita was used to strong, short bursts of complete female unity, where she loved you undyingly and provided the support that you needed to pass through a difficult period of your life. But not with you, there was no passing through with you. Not even during your extended stays in the United States or even now that you are gone most of the year in college, could your friendship be weakened.

"It's because you were siblings!" Connie exclaimed in a tipsy state on a summer night long ago. "In another life."

"Do you think?" Vita asked, turning to you.

You believed in Vita and her mother's cosmic knowing, and relied on it more than you were willing to admit. "Of course."

"You were brother and sister." Connie said before taking a sip of her wine, and going quiet.

She always goes quiet — one moment she will tell you how your whole life is going to be and the next, just as she's about to get into the details, she switches off without any explanation, claiming she "doesn't really know this stuff, anyway."

It always makes Vita roll her eyes, because she knows that's not the case for she is just like her mother. Vita saw everything and found people she couldn't read extremely frustrating. Vita has this otherworldly understanding of people and a patience unmatched by anyone you have ever met. She knows how devastating it can be to be seen, but how crucial in life it is to not only be understood, but accepted. Vita also knew how often you spent up in your head, in your make believe world where nothing could hurt you. How your lust for life was so consuming it left you unable to move, too afraid to start because it always felt like you were doing it on your own. Your best friend once told you with tears in her eyes that she wished she knew what planet you were from so you would have the peace of mind that you weren’t completely alone, and you thanked her because sometimes that is enough.

Vita is the human embodiment of home.

So why can't you tell her what is going on? Why does your throat close up every time you want to talk about Javier in any capacity? Why does your throat close up when you think about Javier at all? A part of you wants to run barefoot straight to Vita’s house and up to her room, beg her to help you understand your own emotions. Why are you so enamored by a man who always makes it so hard to breathe? How he manages to make you so hyper aware of your movements, yet he isn't even looking at you. How he's never there when you want him but you would drop everything to be close to him once more. You would drop everything just to be what he wanted again and it makes you sick to your stomach. It's like watching yourself at 15 all over again, when you believed the most important thing you could be was desired. Hell is the mind of a fifteen year old girl, and you thought those days were gone forever.

The tension in the house doesn't make it any easier. You and Daisy tiptoeing around your father and house guest. The quiet meals, that used to be your favourite parts of the day now leave you cold even in the relentless summer sun. You spend most of the time, sitting across from Javier, staring at him. Waiting for him to look at you so you can ask him what's wrong with your eyes. To let him know that he can come to you, that you want him to. But he never does.

Christian and Javier lock themselves away in the library most days and your mother tells you they still haven't come up with anything new. You're startled every night when you're woken by their raised voices traveling through the halls and you hold your breath until you hear their roaring laughter and you know they must be drunk.

You don't see Javier much these days, but you don't see anyone for that matter. Resorting to lazy floats in the pool by yourself or reading alone in the cool living room to escape the heat. It feels as though, if you can't be around Javier you can’t be around anyone at all and sometimes you can make that make sense but most of the time you ignore the irritating notion that you may really be going crazy.

But what was supposed to happen? Javier would fuck you and realize right then and there he couldn’t live without you? It’s so embarrassing because it’s true. You can't talk to Vita because you're embarrassed to admit you wanted to be more and tonight after another lonely dinner where you might as well have been eating alone — you dumped your dishes in the sink and slipped out to the back gardens for your abandoned childhood swing set. And you finally cried.

“Fuck!” You scream up at the sky and you kick your legs back.

As you create your momentum, swinging back and forth you can’t help but succumb to your own erratic emotions and you wonder why it has to be this way. Why can’t you just be happy with what you have? Why must you always need more? Why is it so goddamn exhausting to keep yourself neutral? You’ve never felt sad, only despair. Never angry, only full of rage. You’ve never been embarrassed, you only know humiliation. And you hate to think this way because you always search for your brain for a time you were truly happy, but you always come up empty.

Something is always missing. Something is always missing and you’re always alone but you can’t even be upset because you do it to yourself.

It feels like you’re taking the world on by yourself simply because you are. Because you feel like you need to, this is your burden and yours only. You must suffer to be rewarded for one day you will be able to walk in the sun and be alright.

But to what end? When will you be rewarded?

You want it to be Javier. Just being close to him feels like the reward. The energy you feel just sitting next to him, those eyes you want to swim in, the perfect angle of his nose and the voice that drips from his lips. It must be him, but he won’t even talk to you.

You spend the evening locked in this thought, the concept of the reward — you can convince yourself it isn't real but your heart aches for it knows it is the truth. Which is why Javier is so difficult. He is the one and it makes you dizzy with excitement, but you’re not sure if you can trust it. There is this pull of doubt at the corners of every thought because he still doesn’t know you. Though he could. If he just said the word, you’d spill every story, every thought, every idea you’ve ever had. How you long for more. More life. More love. More sex. More understanding. To truly be alive, not just living. Who could understand that better then him?

——

You like the way the cold ground feels under your bare feet as you walk back up to the house in the darkness. You feel lighter, now that you’ve cried and the house that sits quiet and empty is suddenly comforting. This is your life, your home. Javier is just a tourist and he should be so lucky to exist in the same space as you. But maybe this is you just channeling arrogance as to not be so sad, focusing on what he’s missing instead of your desperate need for him to actually see it.

“Claude?” You hear from the living room at the first creak of the wooden stairs.

You tiptoe through the corridor and into the living room to find Javier taming his fluffy hair with a yawn. Your jaw tightens.

“I’ve been waiting for you. I fell asleep.” He says and you just stand there, crossing your arms over your light blue summer dress. “Can you come sit?”

Shit.

“I don’t know Javi, I’m tired.” You shrug.

“Look, I just want to apologize.” He says, standing up and turning toward you, “We had sex and I haven’t spoken to you since and that’s fucked up. I’m sorry.”

Your eyes widen, but he doesn’t see because he looks down like he’s ashamed. You believe him. Gliding across the living room, you watch him in his usual ensemble — tight black t-shirt, soft cotton pants and his thick black framed glasses, and sit back down with him, on your side.

“It’s just everything with this book, I’ve never felt this kind of anxiety.” He says, his eyes cast down, resting his head on his fist propped up by the top of the couch.

You nod for you understand, but it hurt. “You didn’t even look at me this week.”

“I know.” He sighs, “I know, but I really am sorry. Please believe me when I say I’ve missed you.”

You look up at him, biting your cheek to contain your excitement.

“I miss you even while we live in the same house.” He says, looking away. His hand fidgets against his knee. “If you’re not at breakfast, or you spend your day here, reading in the living— I miss you when you aren’t around me.”

You wish there was a way to burn these words into your brain so you could have them at any time, to hear his voice say these things to you. This validation that he has felt the same after these long, horrible days of practically ignoring each other.

Bringing your hand to his cheek, you turn Javier’s gaze back to you, and study him as you feel the fine hairs of his beard under your fingertips. He looks tired, even behind his glasses you can see the deep longing for rest in his eyes. You don’t think he’s used to rejection either.

Javier leans into your touch with a soft hum and you could almost lose your breath from the tenderness. You want to hold him, bury your nose in his hair and tell him to rest with you. Just laying together, his big body between your legs and head on your stomach, until the inevitable rising of the sun. You can hardly bring yourself to imagine how beautiful Javi must look by the light of the morning.

“Come here.” You whisper, though it’s barely audible, as you rise up on your knees so you are flush against his side, looking down at him. Before you kiss him, Javier kisses you, and your hand floats down from his cheek to wrap your arms around his glorious neck.

Javi wastes no time, his one big hand dragging up your spine to squeeze the back of your neck, holding your against him. And with the other, letting his thick fingers dig into the soft flesh of your ass. You can feel the desperation in his skin, and you want all of it, this exquisite juxtaposition of feeling both safe in his arms but that he could also crush you with his desire.

What was life before this? Before Javier’s thick moans into your mouth, his heavy wet finger tips tracing. He takes up all the air in the room and you don’t stop him. He is everything.

You break off the kiss for a moment and remove his glasses. “I missed you too.”

“I’ve only touched you once, but I have spent every day thinking about you. Kissing you. Having you.” He says, pulling you impossibly closer to him. “It’s all I’ve wanted, every day.”

“Why didn’t you tell me.” You ask, and you can’t help the confused look on your face but Javier doesn’t respond. You search his face anyway longing for something heartfelt, like he was locked up in his head, consumed by his feelings for you, like you were. Instead, he kisses you again. Swallowing any upsetting feeling you’ve had since you’ve touched him last.

Kissing Javier is a soft pleasure all in its own, but you want more. More skin. More contact. To ache around him again. To show him how much you truly missed him.

“Let me take care of you.” You whisper, your palm trailing flat down the man’s chest. You get lower and lower, kissing along the beautiful exposed skin of his neck, dragging your hand down the soft black fabric until you reach the drawstring of Javi’s pants.

“Are you sure?” He asks, and you feel his body stiffen as he looks around.

You nod, pushing your legs out from underneath you so you’re laying flat on the couch, your face practically in his lap. “Just relax.”

Javier lets all the air escape from his chest as you pull on the pants and he lifts his hips so you can get them down his thighs.

He watches you with heavy eyes, his mouth falling open as you kiss up the underside of his length, hardening under your lips. Swirling your tongue around the tip, you rest your head on Javier’s lower abdomen lazily, feeling him grow even more in your hand as you stroke him.

“Shit..” He says through his teeth, smoothing your hair back out of your face for you.

You continue to take your time teasing him. Humming in delight as Javier can barely contain himself, thrusting up into your hand shamelessly. He keeps his eyes closed, hands in your hair and you can feel the relief radiating from him. He was desperate for touch.

“Oh, Javi.” You coo, as his head falls back on to the couch, fucking up into your hand and you swear you can hear him whimper. This feeling of power over Javier is absolutely intoxicating, to feel so disconnected from him all week then to have him almost pathetically trying to relieve himself with any bit of human contact you’ll allow him.

“Look what you do to me.” He growls. “Fucking your ha-and...”

Javier reaches around, taking his length from your delicate grasp and pushes you lightly into his pelvis.

“You’re so fucking — soft.” He grunts, tapping his throbbing head against your lips before dragging his cock along your face.

You smile, letting him. Revealing your tongue for a moment to tease him once more.

“Thought you wanted to take care of me.” He says, his voice tight and you feel his hand in the back of your hair as he continues to run his length along your face. Grinning as his grip tightens, he doesn’t hurt you, it’s just about the control.

“I do.” You moan, as Javi softly pushes and pulls your head in a rhythmic motion, just hovering over him.

“Open your mouth.” He mumbles and you do what you’re told.

Javier motions your neck down, pulling you slowly over him, taking just his head in your mouth. “Is this okay sweetheart?”

“Mhm.” You whimper around him, your thighs involuntarily rubbing together, searching for some kind of relief from the arousing pull of his voice.

“Yeah? F-Fuck your pretty mouth.” He grunts, thrusting up slowly, stretching your lips to accommodate his thickness. You close your eyes, focusing on the fullness, calming your breath to take him.

“Stay just like this.” Javier sighs, his other hand tangling into your hair to keep you in place and you hum in agreement. Then he thrusts — quickly like he’s actually fucking you and it comes as a surprise but the moan that drips from his mouth almost instantly is enough to make you squeeze your thighs tighter. You have never felt a high like this, being exactly what Javier wants.

You dig your finger nails into his thighs as he takes you, a blunt, bruising force to the back of the throat and you can’t help but gag.

“That’s a good girl.” He says, “Taking my dick in your hot fucking mouth. I love that sound.”

You gag once more and Javier pulls out to you gasping. Spit suspended from your mouth to his cock and you watch it for a moment before grinning up at Javi.

“You’re so fucking cute.” He shakes his head in disbelief, wiping the saliva from your mouth.

“I’ve never done that before.” You smile, looking down slightly embarrassed as you wonder if you were even any good.

“You keep saying that...” Javi’s voice trails off as he pulls your dress up to knead your behind. You love having his hands on you, playing with you. “But you’d never know...”

You try to suppress your satisfied smile, flattening your palms around the base of Javier’s shaft, you take him back in your mouth.

“Fuck...” he exhales long and slow, grabbing a rough handful of your ass before pushing you down on to him, taking him completely down your throat and keeps you there. Your eyes water, and your leg kicks out before he lets you breathe again, coming up for air with a cough you look up at him and he looks down at you like the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

——

Javier pulls you back up against his side, and he looks up at you as he’s slumped down into the couch. You wrap your arms back around his neck, fluttering your fingers through his hair and he nuzzles your chest, pressing his lips into your skin. You wish he was like this always, soft in your arms.

Javi hooks a finger into the top of your dress and pulls down, freeing your breasts, nipples hard in attention and he takes one in his mouth. Your cradle his head as he sucks on the buds and you let your own fall back slowly, relishing in the feeling of his tongue and his lips, the brushing of his moustache and the digging of his nose and how sweet he looks in your arms. This is too much, you’re going dizzy.

Javier helps you pull your dress over his head and his lips quickly return to your nipples. His big warm hands squeezing your bust harshly, alternating with his teeth scraping the sensitive flesh and completely pressing his face into your chest. Even as you climb into his lap, on top of him completely nude, his tongue doesn’t give up until you pull his face up to yours for a kiss.

He tastes like everything you want to drown in and it’s heady, like a force you must fight before it completely consumes you, but you don’t want to.

“Fuck.” You gasp, grinding your hips along Javi’s length, desperate for more.

“Oh, god.” He chokes, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. “Are you going to fuck me this time, sweetheart?”

“Yeah..” You whine, reaching between your bodies.

“Yeah? You’re gonna bounce that wet little pussy on my dick?” His voice shakes into your neck, and it’s such a contrast from his stern “Get on your bed.” from days ago.

You nod, kissing up his jaw in this sudden codependency, his need to feel every inch of you as you both fall back into the couch.

“Relax, Javi. Let me do this for you.” You coo, sinking down on to him. You hum from the incredible stretch and Javier groans right into your ear.

“That pussy is so fucking tight.” He says, out of breath. “Don’t move.”

You obey him, stilling in his lap and Javier lifts his head from the safe space between your neck and your shoulder and he looks up at you.

“What if I just held you here like this.” He says, almost to himself, his hands coming up to your ass. “Stuffed full of my dick and I didn’t let you move.”

“Javi...” You whine.

“Would you still be my good little girl?”

“Javi...” You whine louder, your chest feeling like it’s going to collapse, Javier’s fingers digging into you and he gives you two small thrusts.

“You love being my good girl, don’t you?” Javier whispers, pushing your hair behind your shoulders.

More than anything.

“Yes.” You gasp.

“I know you do.” He says, guiding you slowly up and down. “Just sucking my dick made this pussy a dripping mess.”

“I love it.” You groan as the sound of your skin against his gets louder as you work your hips for him.

Javier looks a moment away from possession and it just fuels you, for you have him where you always want him and you want this to be the death of him.

You still again, but only for a moment to steady yourself as you get up on your feet.

“Shit..” Javier sighs, before he turns you both with your arms wrapped around him, his back now against the arm rest and his legs straight out along the couch. “There you go, baby.”

You reach behind you, finding your balance with your grip on his knees and you pull your hips up.

“Oh my fucking god.” Javier gasps, running his hand down his face and you push your hips down slowly, watching him and in this moment he is really yours.

Fighting through the burning in your arms and your legs, you give him everything you’ve got. Mewing in the pleasure of seeing him underneath you like this, needing you like this. Submitting to the grinding of your hips and the wetness that aches around him. You wish you could see yourself on top of him, your chest bouncing, skin glowing in sweat so he knows exactly what he could have, whenever he wanted it.

“Your pussy is so fucking pretty.” Javier says, his thumb dragging across your mound and down to your clit, that is begging for attention and the moment his fingertip grazes the sensitive nerve your legs clamp together. But he doesn’t stop. Even as his length falls from your body from the increased height of your hips, Javier’s hand doesn’t retreat from the soft thighs it’s wedged between. Circling your clit over and over, your arms buckle and you hold your breath. You thought you had the power but even on top of him you’re just putty in his hand and he knows exactly what to do to make you sing.

“Are you going to squirt for me again?” He rasps, his other hand pushing you down into his lap. “I want to watch this pretty little pussy squirt all over me.”

“Put it back.” You gasp, trying to force your legs open.

“Yeah, baby? Do you need my dick?” Javi teases, pushing at your thigh to open up for him again. He finally eases his dizzying pressure on your clit and holds you just above his pulsing head, slick with you. Running his tip along your folds, you try to sink down on to him, but he keeps you suspended.

“Beg me.” He demands. “You know I love the way you say my fucking name.”

“Please, Javi.” You whine, grinding your hips into nothing. “Please, I love your cock so much, give it to me.”

You push yourself up and fall forward so your hands are on his chest, “Please, Javi. Make me squirt again. Only you know how to fucking do it”

“Oh, fuck.” He groans, pushing up into you sharply despite your yelp. “Anything for my good little girl.”

Javier pulls you down, flush against his chest, still clothed against your’s nude and he wraps his arms around you. He smells like amber and fresh linens as always. Summer. A sunset. The breeze off the ocean and wine. Safe.

His grip around you tightens as you inhale him, pounding up into you as he finds your ear, and his voice is like syrup, “I’m going to take care of you sweetheart. Going to make this pussy cum. You tell me okay? I want to see it. Want to see you fucking soak me. Don’t by shy, my good little girl. Give it to me.”

“Fuck, Javi.”

“You’re so fucking incredible. Taking my big dick in this perfect little pussy. Let go, Claude. Cum for me, angel.”

You groan lewdly and Javi’s hand comes down on your mouth.

“Shh. Shh. Shh.” He warns, and you sigh into his palm. Angel.

This pace is overwhelming, and as he’s restricted your limbs there really is nothing you can do but take it, trying to keep your thighs from clamping together every time Javier brushes that incredible spot within you. Your moans getting longer, from an even deeper part of your throat every time. Your core twists and tightens as he brings you there, unlike anyone else ever has.

“Javi, now!” You exclaim, barely recognizing the screech in your voice and Javier pulls out. His lap wet with you.

“Oh that’s a good fucking girl.” He says, kissing the top of your head as you fall to his side. “That’s so fucking hot.”

Your house guest’s impressive length twitches in his hand as he strokes himself, his nose buried in your hair as you nuzzle his chest in hazy delight and he keeps whispering, “Fucking you is such a dream. You make it so hard not to just nut in that tight fucking pussy.”

You hum, lifting our head up and kissing him softly. “Cum for me.”

“Yeah?” He swallows.

“Please, Javi.” You sigh.

“Where?” He asks, stroking himself harder.

It takes all your strength, but you slip silently off the couch and on to your knees. “On my face.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He says, getting up quickly.

Javier takes your chin delicately in his hand, stroking himself with vigor with the other, and you display your tongue for him, feeling the weight of his cock on it instantly.

“Such a good girl, letting me cum on your pretty fucking face like this. I don’t deserve you. So fucking— pretty.” He groans, with everything left and in this moment you have him, again.

——

You wake in your bed, and you know it’s late because you’re hit by a wall of heat followed swiftly by disappointment when you realize you are, once again, alone. With your arm spread out at your side, you know you are going to be met with nothing but empty sheets and you still feel it at the pit of your stomach anyway.

You sit up with a sigh, back to normal you suppose. Another day of existing separately, but together with only your lost puppy sense of self and a fascination for this man to sustain you.

Then you see him. Javier leaning up against your balcony door with his coffee, wearing only his pyjama bottoms. He hears you stirring and looks back with a smile, “Good morning.”

——

Tags: @pascalisperfect @thefinalgurl @we-are-like-a-timebomb @ssppoorrkk @headsindreams @kehrite @nerdyknightwritersblog @tangledlove27 @chipotle-pour-moi @jokersdoll @zea-is-amazing @someplace-darker @kaylaylaylayla @spacenerdsebby @forever-rogue @fionnthebandersnacc @colourmeinblue @longitud-de-onda @dogsinspace @spitmillk @staellula @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @leo-moon @mandoandyodito @bonkybaaarnes @sadthotsonlylove @ah-callie @astrolo-galaxy @lockedoutofmyotherblog @hayley-the-comet @boybalm @casjason @mrsparknuts @blushingwueen @ignimbritetcax @benakenalove @fioccodineveautunnale @exrebelshocktrooper @pascalisthepunkest @sav-a-nna @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @solarwars @cumberbitching @rae-gar-targaryen @tabalugax @lokiaddicted @roxypeanut @ezraslittlebirdie @thisainttheway @none-of-your-bullshit @mand0-l0rian @assaultsofthought

Love, Zelda

[binunus]

college bf!rocky

a/n next is our rock and aegyo king sorry sanha park minhyuk !! also I was going to post this yesterday :( but me and my roommates got a little too lit for valentine’s and I literally sat for 7 hours straight in zoom so I couldn’t finish it until now but !! I hope you loves enjoy!!

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ word count: 4.9k

_________________________________

alright aright alrightttt

we’re gonna switch it up a little bit

add a little flavor

because as much as I would love to say that college bf!astro all got their partners in a cute and smooth sailing way

we all know relationships aren’t that easy

but before we get into how you and rocky met

major: dance

are we surprised? no

rocky is a prodigy in dance

he’s been dancing since he could walk

he started choreographing at age 6

it just made sense for him, like even his parents were like go pursue dance, you’re not a law or business type of kid

he can master any type of dance from jazz, to ballet, to street, to contemporary, to tango, whatever you can think of

he’s roommates with music tech!jinjin

jin literally takes care of him all the time bc rocky??? when he comes back to the apt after dance practice?? dead weight

only passes his gen ed classes bc eunwoo tutors him

if it weren’t for the boys, rocky would literally live in the dance studio

they make sure to drag him out for fun and food at least once a week

or they join and keep him company while he’s practicing

have they gotten noise complaints before while messing around in the dance studio? yes

rocky is loud alright, especially when he’s with astro

he’s a perfectionist, literally will not leave the studio until he’s 100% satisfied with his progress

oh the amount of times myungjun and jin nag at him to take care of his health

now now

you’re also a dance major

people could say that you and rocky are the top two dancers of your year

gasp a rivals to lovers au??? you betcha baby

granted you switched into a dancer major your second year so rocky technically had seniority

but boom baby as soon as you made your appearance, it rocked his world

now im not saying rocky’s cocky bc obviously he’s a cute hardworking humble boy

but was he used to always being placed first in evaluations or getting the highest marks??? yeah

so the first time you placed first and he placed second??? it lit a bit of a fire in him

he’s seen a ton of good dancers in his time, but no one has ever matched his capabilities better than you

there was an unspoken rivalry between you two, everyone knew about it 

you both always wanted to upstage the other

there was always a tension whenever you two were in the same room

but like...have either of you ever really talked to each other besides side remarks in class?

no

and it didn’t really help that the whole dance department basically pit you up against each other to see who was really the best dancer of your year

so you and rocky never had the proper introduction to a friendship, it just went straight to rivalry 

and then came the announcements for the end of the year showcase

and instead of putting on a solo, the department chairs decided to have you and rocky perform a duet

and you’ve never worked with him before so you were dreading the first time you met up

you to your roommate: ugh i can’t believe im partnered up with rocky, that arrogant rude–

your roommate: have you ever even talked to him, y/n? he’s actually very nice

you: no...but that’s what he wants you to believe!

your ego sorta just went along with the whole thing

and rocky was 15 min late to your meeting bc he was out eating food with the guys so your patience?? very thin

literally as soon as he stepped into the dance studio, the air turned stuffy

rocky could feel you glaring at him and he just smirks?? 

rocky: did I make you wait long y/n?

you: yeah you did

he liked pushing your buttons?? idk he just felt satisfaction knowing that any small of action of his affected you that much

it made him feel like he was winning or whatever

and god it took literally forever for you two to decide on a song and genre of performance for the showcase

you wanted contemporary, he wanted ballet

you were literally disagreeing so much on it that you had to ask Siri to flip a coin

and then you fought and said that Siri was rigged when it chose tails (contemporary)

so you decided on a happy? mix of both

rocky at the end of your first meeting: i get that we’re not exactly friends, y/n, but we have to work together so let’s at least be professional

you: i can if you can

rocky: fine

you two literally bicker like five year olds on a playground

even the guys are like ???? why are you being so childish ???

you have 2 months of preparation until the showcase and you start meeting once a week for choreography and practice since given the assignment

you two are pretty civil for the most part, you make the contemporary parts and he makes the ballet parts and then you combine it when you meet up and see how it can incorporate and complement each other

there’s not much joking around ?? like you know how rocky’s a clown when he’s teaching astro choreography?? it’s not like that at all

and honestly you two are too caught up in your rivalry and tension to notice that your styles really match and highlight each other well??

there’s definitely a lot of “i could do this better than you” from both sides

i repeat: you are children

and then there’s this one practice where you and rocky are trying a pas de deux for the first time

(i literally looked this term up, it’s basically what jungkook and jimin from bts did during the 2020 mma black swan intro...if you haven’t seen it, watch it bc it is perfection mmm chefs kiss)

and you don’t know if it’s because you didn’t have enough momentum or rocky didn’t prep himself enough for the lift but he ends up dropping you and you both fall

and you both immediately start blaming each other for the mishap

until you lift your hand to point at him and it just hurts

it’s like a switch goes off, rocky’s immediately concerned and he’s like gently taking your hand like: holy shit are you okay??

you shake your head and you’re wincing whenever you try to move it

you: ow fuck rocky, I think it’s sprained

and he suddenly feels so guilty, like he goes silent

you: can we stop for today? I’m gonna go get this checked out, make sure it’s not broken

rocky: do you want me to go with you?

you: no. I’ll see you next week.

boy he feels so bad, he texts you throughout the course of the following week asking if you’re okay, asking your roommate if you’re okay, telling you he’s sorry that he dropped you

you didn’t respond much, not bc you felt weird texting him–well, you did a little bit shhh–but bc you were beating yourself up for getting injured a month before the showcase

you show up to practice the next week with your wrist in a compression bandage

and he doesn’t greet you with a quip like he usually does, he immediately grabs your wrist (gently) and he’s like inspecting the bandage

you: uh...the doctor said I should be careful with it for a week or two if i want it to heal faster. so don’t bitch at me if i’m not going all out

rocky: y/n...i’m so sorry...I didn’t mean to injure you, it was my fault that we didn’t execute the pas de deux

you just shrug: it was both our faults...if I didn’t fall on my wrist maybe we could have avoided this little obstacle

rocky: if I caught you correctly, you wouldn’t have even fallen

you: are we really arguing right now about this??

and then the two of you just laugh??? 

this is the first real pleasant interaction you’ve had with him

and you notice like wow rocky had a nice smile

you: i should be back to normal before the showcase so we should be fine

rocky: don’t push it though while we’re practicing alright? if your wrist starts hurting then stop, and don’t even think about doing any floor choreo

the atmosphere between you and rocky change after that

he becomes pretty concerned about your recovery–and maybe it’s bc he still blames himself for the cause of it

each night before your set practice days, he always shoots you a text asking how you’re feeling and how your wrist is doing

he brings ice packs, painkillers, and extra bandages during your practices just in case you need it

and you’re actually pretty touched by his concern

about two weeks before the showcase, your wrist is back to full movement and you’re like excited to actually practice to your best ability

from now on you see each other twice a week, just to get that detail and fine-tuning perfected

rocky’s still a bit hesitant to have you go full out but you reassure him that you’re fine

you both try the pas de deux again the day you take your bandage off 

and you can see that he’s nervous to try it

you: rocky, i’m fully healed now. we haven’t practiced this move since the first time and we need it in our routine

rocky: but...y/n, what if I drop you again??

you: you won’t...i trust you 

and you really did, that move requires a lot of trust between partners and you know? maybe it didn’t work out the first time because of the lack of trust between you two

and so you go through the full routine and rocky was holding his breath when that part of the choreography came up but you both successfully did it!! and it was a beautiful move

he was so excited at the end of the run through that he hugged you

and you were smiling too bc this was the first time you did a full run through without any stops in between

you both don’t even notice that all the hostility is gone??

and the tension suddenly changed from hatred to...dare I say it...sexual

oo baby the day of the showcase you two were hella nervous 

but c’mon you and rocky were the best of the best so ofc you absolutely killed the performance

your energies literally merged as soon as the music started

every move was flawless

and you both had to face each other during your ending pose and you were just like looking at him like ??? wtf ??? did you maybe wanna kiss him??

and you know the look that rocky has in his eyes when he’s dancing

imagine that literally piercing into your soul

you got the shivers waiting for the lights to dim 

you both received a standing ovation after your duet obviously

astro watching it bc they always support rocky: they’re gonna fuck 100%

fast forward to the next term bc you both didn’t really have a reason to contact each other during summer break now that the showcase was done

you and rocky had two classes together, dance research and advanced modern technique

it was then that you started to see his actual personality and how goofy of a person he was

you still had a rivalry of course, but now it was healthy

instead of trying to bring each other down, you both started motivating each other to do better

and yes you’ve always been impressed with how good of a dancer rocky was (and vice versa), but now whenever you saw him practice you start to feel a little bit of stir in your stomach and shit are you blushing??

and then you two get paired up again for your midterm evaluation

your teacher: i saw the chemistry you had for the showcase last term, i think you two would work well together for this project

and god is your teacher trying to murder you??? the theme of this midterm was “couple dance” to encourage collaboration or whatever

you were just thankful that the song choice she gave you was more upbeat and not sensual bc you know for a fact that you would not survive doing a sexy dance routine with rocky

but that didn’t stop the way your skin felt like it was on fire whenever he touched you for partner-dependent moves

this time around, you did the choreography process together and it was actually pretty fun??

you and him would bounce back ideas and joke around whenever something looked stupid

you and rocky did this by the way for reference

and then there was one late night when you two were practicing

it was around 2 am, no one else was in the music building and you both didn’t have class the next day so you two were just like fuck it let’s just practice until campus security kicks us out or whatever

you both were literally dancing for four hours, not just this new routine but old ones and freestyles as well

and then you were doing your new routine and during the part where he had to twirl and dip you, you both fall again

but no one got injured this time luckily

and you both just burst out laughing, maybe you were a little delirious at this point in the night

you: i can’t believe you dropped me again

rocky’s laughing and you both just look at each other, and he’s hovering above you right???

and your heart is beating so loudly in your chest you’re positive he can hear it

and you’re thankful that your face was already hot from dancing so that he couldn’t tell that you were in fact blushing

rocky’s like looking at you for a good minute or so and he’s just like thinking in his head: have you always been this cute?

and maybe it’s bc you guys have been getting along so well lately and the vibes are??? immaculate

but the atmosphere suddenly gets super thick and he !! just !! leans down !! and !! kisses !! you !!

and phew baby you bet that you immediately respond to it

you’re literally making out on the floor for like five minutes

and mind you, five minutes is a long time

until rocky’s phone rings loudly through the speaker and you both suddenly separate

he scurries to his phone and you sit up trying to compose yourself 

jinjin: park minhyuk where are you?! it’s 3 am!!

you literally hear jinjin scolding rocky through the phone and you laugh a little bc it’s so cute how he’s getting nagged right now

rocky: hyung...im practicing...

jinjin: do i need to drag you out of there?! i’ll literally call bin to carry your ass to our apartment! how long have you been practicing huh?? have you eaten dinner at all??

rocky: okay okay I’ll come back home

he turns to you after ending the call and he’s so !! shy !!

rocky: I guess that’s the end of our practice haha...do you want me to walk you back to your place?? it’s pretty late out

you: yeah that’d be nice...hm you sure your hyung’s not gonna call a search party for you??

you’re teasing him and he just pouts

rocky: i’ll be fine

rocky walks you back to your apartment and it’s a little?? awkward?? 

but before you bid him goodbye he’s like: uh...the kiss earlier...sorry if I surprised you

your cheeks are hot again: it’s um...it’s okay, I didn’t mind it...it was actually pretty nice...I guess...

and rocky’s heart skips a beat and now he’s blushing: yeah...it was...i’ll see you in class then??

you: yeah, i’ll see you. text me when you get home okay?

he nods and waits until you’re safely inside and then he just starts grumbling to himself

rocky: i’ll see you in class?? could i say anything more stupid??? 

rocky’s adorable okay

him texting you when he gets back: im home :)

you: that’s good! good night rocky :)

he goes to the guys the day after like: i have a predicament !! me and y/n kissed !! 

jinjin: that’s why you were late last night??

eunwoo: you dirty dog, doing it in the dance studio??

rocky: we didn’t do anything else hyung !!

bin: so did you ask them out??

rocky: no...i said...i’ll see you in class

myungjun: i’ll see you in class?!?! are you an idiot??

sanha: hyung even I’d ask y/n out after that

rocky: i know !! im dumb okay!! help me

sanha: you’re a lost case sorry

jinjin: why don’t you start with, hey y/n do you wanna get some food with me??

rocky: AHHHH

yes he does want to ask you out, yes he does want to kiss you again more than he’d like to admit, but he’s shy

you’re not faring any better, you and roommate were literally talking about it all weekend

the next time you see rocky (in class), you two are awkward as fuck

you both keep stealing glances at each other and then if one of you get caught, you both immediately look away

those 50 minutes of class could not go by any slower

and you were so ready to book it after the professor dismissed you but then you hear rocky call your name

rocky: hey y/n, are you free right now?

you: uh yeah! why what’s up

rocky: do you...um...wanna get some coffee with me?? or food or something??

you: do you mean like just to hang out or...uh like a date?

rocky: a date...if you want it to be

and cue the blushies again

you and rocky end up going to this cute cafe and get smoothies bc neither of you were feeling caffeine at the moment

and the whole time you two are just ??? so cute and shy and awkward with each other ???

which is such a contrast from how you two would dance together

rocky’s so sweet, really the cutest boy

gives you so many butterflies

the two of you end up going on little cafe dates before practice 

and you’re all cute and wholesome

and then he turns all passionate and dominant when you start dancing

like wow alright rocky giving you whiplash or whatever

when you show the routine for your midterm, the teacher and other students give you both high praises 

and he’s all giddy after class and he goes up to you: i think its safe to say that we have really good chemistry when we work together, don’t you think?

you’re smiling hehe but you wanna mess with him a little: hmm i think we’re alright, but who knows, i might mesh well with someone else

and then he’s all frowny, a little jealous: what do you mean someone else? do you make out with someone who just has alright chemistry with you??

your eyes go wide and you put your hand over his mouth: im kidding!!

rocky just smirks at your embarrassed reaction and he like tickles your sides

and then he just grabs your hand like: don’t find another dance partner y/n, just be mine

how could you say no to that??? especially when rocky’s just looking all handsome and charming and shit??? exactly. you can’t and why would you ever say no in the first place??

you and rocky dating?? biiiig news in the dance department

and even outside of it

bc lowkey rocky had a bit of a fanclub bc of how good he is at dancing, are we shocked? no

the boys are so happy for him !!

you meet his friends literally the day the two of you start dating

and you’re a bit nervous meeting them bc ofc you want them to like you, they’re his friends

but they’re so sweet...and headass

when rocky brings you to their dinner, the five of them literally start applauding at your entrance

you were so confused and rocky’s just out here with second hand embarrassment

he’s the cutest boyfriend

shy with pda in public (unless you’re dancing), most he’ll do is hold your hand

but in private he’s very clingy

loves backhugging you

he also tickles you when he wants to be a little shit

which is 50% of the time

very playful bf, will tease you at least once every day

if you two are just practicing dancing, he’ll make any sort of excuse to hold you or kiss you

asddfadsjf he’s so cute

gets very soft at night especially when you two are worn out from practice

just wants to go back to your (or his) apartment and cuddle and sleep

imagine just you two cuddling in bed after hours of dancing and he’s just spooning you and he mumbles tiredly into your shoulder: you’re amazing y/n...you’re one of the best dancers i’ve ever seen

and before, his pride would have never allowed him to say that, but now it can

not really one for pet names in my opinion, but he does call you “my y/n”

after you two start dating, you begin to call him by his real name, minhyuk

or you say hyukie

he lowkey loves it when you call him that, it’s so endearing

the guys teasing him, cooing at rocky all gross like : heyyy hyukkie

then rocky just like crosses his arms: only y/n can call me hyukie

he didn’t realize he loves couple dances so much until you and him are dating

well he only loves it because you’re his partner ofc

alright hear me out !! slow dancing with rocky

slow !! dancing !! with !! rocky !!

he dims the lights in the dance studio until it’s just a single spotlight and some slow romantic music comes on and he just grabs you by the hand and twirls you once before pulling you close and you’re just swaying side to side

and then he presses your foreheads together and he’s just looking into your eyes and gives you the softest smile

!!! im freaking out!! i want this so bad !!

that’s how the first i love you comes out

surprise, you say it first

okay but like in the moment, the atmosphere is literally so perfect, and you can just see how much he treasures you and you always feel butterflies whenever he does this, but there was just something that night that made you say it

like your chest was constricting so hard and you were thinking to yourself, i love this man

and so you just said it

and omg the smile on rocky’s face just widens and he kisses you so sweetly before he says it back

loves kissing you, your lips are like a drug to him

can literally make out with you for hours

has pushed you against the walls of the practice room just for a little make out session

ahhh here we go ladies and gents

sex !! with !! rocky !!

first and foremost, dance studio sex??? yes

especially if it’s just you two late night practicing like the first time you kissed?

mirror kink? maybe so

and bc y’all are ~flexible~, you bet he likes bending your back like a pretzel

he’s a very passionate lover, your pleasure is his #1 priority

loves foreplay just as much as the main event

but oof his hips?? grrrrr bark bark ram me over with a truck

his stroke game is so good

literally knows how to fuck you in all the right places

and his stamina??? god tier, can go at it for hours on end

into edging and overstimulation, oof you bet you’re cumming at least twice during every session

i cannot stress this enough!! thigh riding

you know he has thighs of steel

will make you cum just from riding his thigh

most of the time you guys start off slow and sweet, and then just boom it turns it hard sex

will definitely get turned on from doing a sexy dance routine

the amount of times he’s wanted to just fuck you in the middle of class bc you turned him on?? but ofc he has public decency he won’t do that

he knows you get turned on from his fingers oops

anal or vaginal fingering?? he’s all for it baby

he’s loud during sex, all the grunting, huffing, growling, oo im getting chills

not afraid to tell you how good you’re making him feel

not really into spanking, but he grips a lot, like his fingernails have definitely left some deep imprints in your hips or your ass

hair pulling?? yes, both sides receiving

okay but if you call him rocky during sex? big turn on

i can’t explain why, it just is

favorite position?? cowgirl

he loves when you’re on top of him

yes he likes seeing you try to fuck yourself on him

and then when he can’t take it anymore and just grabs your hips and thrusts up into you until your body literally collapses on him

he always tries to make you cum first but oops sometimes baby just busts a nut

yes you will probably tease him about it and then he’ll just shut you up by kissing you 

on another note, no way to turn rocky on faster than sucking on his bottom lip when you’re kissing

will cuddle you after cumming, like he doesn’t care if either of you are sweaty or messy, he’s hugging you for at least five minutes

honestly becomes a baby after sex so it’s more like you’re giving him after care sksksk

the switch he makes from being a sex fiend to a clingy cuddly boy? whiplash

like you need to go to the bathroom to pee or something and he’s like: but...i wanna hug u

i would risk it all for rocky yes

anyway after graduating, rocky becomes a choreographer for this really famous dance studio and get recruited to join a highly-competitive dance troupe

you both do long distance for a little bit bc obviously he’s back home but you have to travel with your group for competitions, sometimes even internationally

and so that caused some strain in your relationship bc distance sucks, but you would always make sure to call him every night before going to bed and despite any time zone difference, he would always answer

your biggest supporter !! literally flew out to surprise you during a big dance competition in london or whatever and you cried happy tears bc was he really there right now??

that’s when you knew that he was the one :’)

you spent the night w him in his hotel room and after a good couple rounds of reunion sex, you were like trying to test the waters a little bit: i missed you hyukie

rocky: i missed you too, but now that you’re here with me, nothing else matters

you: what do you really think about this long distance thing??

rocky: it sucks...but i know it made us stronger. i feel like we can get through anything now

you: yeah, i agree

rocky getting paranoid: omg why? are you thinking of living abroad?? y/n, do i need to start looking at dance studios out here??

you have to hold in your laughter bc he’s so cute: why? would you move out of the county for me if i wanted to??

rocky: i mean...if you’re thinking of leaving for good...then yeah.

he gets so shy and quiet and you’re just !! wow you love him !! he’s yours !!

you kiss him shortly and you smile: no, i’m not gonna live abroad. I miss being home and I miss seeing you all the time. I told you before, I’m thinking of leaving the troupe in two months and then gonna find a job back home for good.

he lets out a sigh of relief: you scared me a little

you just laugh: I only wanted to confirm something and hmm I was right

rocky: what did you wanna confirm??

you being a confident baddie: that I wanna be with you for the rest of my life

rocky feeling his heart implode: you mean it??

you scoffing: why would I be lying about this?

he just laughs and kisses you: I wanna be with you too...I’ve been thinking it since the last time you visited. How much I love you and how much I hated seeing you leave for who knows how long, but I didn’t wanna say anything bc you’re still living your life and I didn’t want a promise like this to influence you to come back if you didn’t want to yet.

two months later you’re back for good and move in with rocky

you end up becoming a choreographer at his dance studio too

you and rocky: the couple™

and you live happily ever after

somewhere down the line...

sanha: hey remember when you two hated each other?

eunwoo: remember when you injured y/n??

bin: remember when you freaked out to us about your first kiss together

myungjun: and you said i’LL sEe yOu iN cLaSs

jinjin: those were fun times, right hyukie?

rocky: i hate you all

__________________________________________________

2-16-21

[kakairu-rocks]

We are excited to introduce our next shining star for the Creator Spotlight… @cyhyr​​!

This is a member’s only activity where we reach out to one of the  talented people in our community each month to find out all about them and their kakairu creations, and then show them off to the world!

We hope you enjoy learning about Sarah & her creations as much as we did. Please give her some love ❤️

Pronouns: She/ Her

Type of Creator: Writer

Where to find her:

AO3

Tumblr

Read the exciting interview below the cut, or on the forum!

If you would like a chance to be in the spotlight too, the only thing you have to do is be a member of the kakairu rocks forum, and be a creator; and we will contact you, ourselves!

1. How long have you been creating KakaIru fanworks?

I’ve been actively creating for KakaIru for about 4 months as of the typing of this interview.

Although, I first dipped into creating KakaIru way back in late 2012 with two fics I posted on ff.net. I took those down a few years ago, along with the rest of my early works. I never lost my fondness for the pairing and always wanted to create more, and so after a quarantine rewatch of the series in May 2021, I finally just dived right back in and I’m so very glad I did.

2. What are you working on right now?

My current WIP is Branding, a whumpy marriage-to-avoid-a-worse-fate fic set in a canon divergence where Danzō takes over the Hokage seat after the Third dies. It had originally been a oneshot for my Summer of Whump series I did in June 2021, but I had a few readers interested in a continuation and I also had a few ideas I felt I could develop within the ‘verse.

3. What is your favourite trope to create for?

Favorite?! Do I have to pick just one??

Because my favorite fluff trope to write is The One Where They Are Both Disgustingly Devoted To Each Other—it gives me happy butterflies and I get to pull a lot of inspiration from my relationship with my spouse in order to write those scenes.

Buuut, my favorite whump trope is Defiant Iruka. Love that man telling his captors to get bent, only to get hurt in retaliation!

4. Which of your creations is your favourite, and why?

Right now, my favorite of all my works is Branding. I’m excited to see where the story goes and I’m hoping we’ll all get to see the ending I have in mind. It helps immensely that it feels like everytime I turn around the kudos, comment, and/or bookmark counts go up! Recognition is always nice as a creator, am I right?

5. Do you have any WIPs you’re excited about?

I have an omegaverse fic in my WIP folder that I’m excited to get a chance to work on. I’ve also got a few AU adaptations that I’m also slowly plugging away at. But for right now, I’m just trying to focus my energy on Branding to keep that momentum going!

6. Do you have any original characters? If so, tell us about them!

I have my dear ANBU OC, Otter. They do not yet have a name outside of their codename, but I’m working on finding one that fits them. They’re a medic on Yamato’s squad who finds Kakashi’s and Iruka’s relationship absolutely adorable. They have made appearances in a couple of my fics so far, the earliest I believe being in a whump oneshot titled Death. I do have an idea for a oneshot staring them and Yamato, but I really gotta figure out that name first…

7. What was your hardest piece to create, and why?

Hands down, The Scrolls of Freol. I fought the self-doubt monster hard with that one; it would have never made it past the first 3k words if not for my friend reading it and demanding to know what happens next. There’s some fluff and whump, which I’m good at writing, but also a lot of mystery and suspense which I have always felt very weak in. But it was well received and what’s better is that I had fun writing it and I now feel more confident writing suspense. Not mystery, though; I’m still not secure in that yet! Ultimately, I’m glad my friend had me finish that story, because it’s now one of my favorites—and it’s the piece that let me complete the Maze Challenge!

8. Do you have any favourite scenes from something you’ve created?

If I had to pick just one, it’d be the soul-marriage scene from The Devil’s Bridge. In it, Kakashi follows Iruka to a cursed bridge and pledges his soul to Iruka, and Iruka makes the same vow back. In doing so, Kakashi’s soul becomes a beacon for Iruka when he ultimately travels across the bridge and into a different dimension. I hadn’t planned for this to happen when I started writing the fic, but once it happened I realized that the story was leading itself to that point the whole time. It’s a very emotionally charged scene and I love it.

9. Where does your inspiration come from?

If not from a prompt list, then from music—usually from musicals, but I have been known to branch out into other genres. Other than that, a lot of my inspiration usually comes from @atereal​. She comes up with so many great ideas and is gracious enough to let me run around and play with them too!

10. Which of your creations is the most meaningful to you, and why?

Storms. It was… very cathartic. I don’t particularly want to go too far into the why’s behind this answer, but if you can safely read Storms, I think it speaks for itself.