#so having to be Awake and Present for a stream that could happen basically whenever is. untenable for me kalsdhfls

[pinkpuffballdude]

alright I made this post and @knife-moth-mc indicated that more concrete instructions(??) would be appreciated, SO! this is not like, a checklist or anything, not orders or must haves or w/e, just stuff that I find easiest to engage with especially when my brain is a big ol pile of goo (ie Right Now)

(before we begin I recognize that all this shit is Work and Takes Time And Also Effort, I'm not saying it should already be done; I do however have various mental disabilities(?) that unfortunately stack and make it really difficult for me to 1) read big blocks of text and 2) synthasize information myself. a lot of this list is going to be stuff like that!)

placing under a cut because Long OKAY

LET'S BEGIN!!

to start, having at least some kind of landing page or template for every character in the SMP- it doesn't have to be detailed, it doesn't even have to have information beyond like, their name and pronouns- but trying to follow a stream for the first time and having characters pop in and out is really difficult when I go to check their pronouns and they aren't even on the list of characters. idk how the wiki editing works? I've never done that, but I think there's a way to just have the sections with [TBD] in them, as a placeholder. not sure how difficult that is tho, but even that would be super helpful

alternatively (or maybe additionally?) some kind of list of All Characters, with basic information like pronouns, name, race/species/abilities, notable relations, and so on. a short list so I know who everyone's talking about

a lot of these are gonna be short lists sorry akldh BUT just... a ten words or less description of each character and their arc. maybe not literally ten words, but Very Short and succinct; details could go somewhere else, so if I'm interested in a specific character I could go and dive deeper on their page, but if I'm trying to figure out why idk c!Aster hates c!Sleep (???? not canon I don't think but idk!!) I can go to their page and see oh yea they had some kinda argument over bombs or the void or smth.

edited versions of vods!! that would be SO helpful (if Incredibly Difficult :pensive:)

alternatively, a short list of "these are the lore relevant vods, watch these to know what's going on"

building off that, playlists of different arcs and different people, not necessarily wholly seperate but isolated so I can go "wait what's up with the maskarade huh" and watch idk 5 hours of video instead of. hundreds.

clip videos. those are my saving grace, they let my poor adhd ass stay focused on the same video for Many Minutes while also highlighting what's important AND letting get multiple perspectives, which helps me orient myself in the story/lore.

clip video ideas (inspiration): funny moments - Aster paranoid moments - STARS eats chat??? compilation - Sleep&STARS interactions - bloopers - Haven fucked up and evil moments - every time [character] speaks in [video/stream/specific streamers video/etc]

going back to the wiki stuff, maybe a timeline version that has one sentence per event, and then links off to a more detailed page on that specific event? so someone can skim it and have an idea of The Server At Large, but the information on all the fun moments and little character interactions is Still There, just not cluttering up the summary (:V bad wording but brain no work :V).

TL;DR: a short list of all the characters and their pronouns/names, stance on different server events, and a two sentence summary of what those events Are would do wonders in my personal ability to delve deep into haven lore 👀

[symphonicmetal101]

Brother Bonding(?) HCs

^^

Lucifer

Mammon

He and Mammon have a bit of a complicated relationship, in that Mammon is always getting into trouble, and Lucifer always has to get him out of it, and then takes it upon himself to scold him for getting them into trouble. However, there are times when Lucifer helps Mammon pull pranks on the other brothers, under the condition that Mammon doesn't tell anyone, otherwise he loses Goldie permanently. The pranks are well executed, and often the blame is but on Belphie or Satan instead.

Levi

We know that Lucifer is responsible for Levi's obsession with Ruri-chan and anime as a whole. Lucifer is often concerned for Levi, as he is familiar with self-doubt, and sympathizes with Levi's constant stream of it. He tries to set aside at least one day a month where he will rewatch old anime with Levi, listen to his spiels, and leave him an allowance to use however he would like. If Lucifer is too busy with paperwork, he'll invite Levi to his office and ask him about the latest games and mangas, even if he isn't listening the entire time.

Satan

Ah, this is a little more complicated. Truthfully, they don't spend much time together. However, if Satan happens to mention a book he wanted, even offhandedly, Lucifer will make sure it ends up in Satan's possession somehow, even if it's through MC. Satan notices this, and as much as he wants to hate Lucifer, those days he makes an extra effort to try and not tease or humiliate Lucifer. It's almost like a silent truce.

Asmo

Yeah, yeah, Asmo paints everyone's nails. But Asmo also knows massage and aromatherapy. When Lucifer is particularly stressed, he'll take it upon himself to try and help him relax. If he has the patience, Lucifer will listen to Asmo explain the science between different scents and how they help the mind and body. Sometimes Asmo isn't sure if Lucifer is actually listens, but within three days of their chats, he finds a small package on his bed with different oils, and a note that says, "I look forward to learning what these oils can do." - Lucifer

Beel

Beel likes to cook, bake, etc. Because Lucifer is always on the go, Beel tries to come up with meals that are easy to walk around with. Lucifer is always the one Beel asks to taste test, (if Beel manages to resist eating the entire thing himself), because Lucifer will give him an honest opinion. It's rare that Lucifer has anything but praise for Beel, but on the off chance he doesn't, he'll walk him through a couple of ideas he could do to improve it, and Beel will deliver.

Note: this is also how Beel found out that Lucifer has the lowest spice tolerance out of the brothers, and he is not to mention it to anyone.

Belphie

Another relationship that serves to be more complex. Lucifer often finds himself wanting to reconcile with Belphie, almost to restore the kind of relationship they had when they were angels. But when you lock someone in an attic against their will, (even if it was to protect them), they tend to hold a grudge. Again, they don't really spend time together unless Beel is present, but Lucifer tries to help Belphie in little ways, like switching his linens weekly, fluffing his pillows, making sure he actually makes it to a bed when he goes to sleep. Belphie just assumes it's Beel doing these things though, and Lucifer lets him. He hopes one day Belphie will realize how much he really does care for him.

Mammon

Levi

They usually don't get along, mostly because of financial issues between them. However, when they are able to put that aside, they can actually enjoy each others company. Mammon has a lot of energy, and Levi likes video games. As a compromise, they regularly play games such as DDR or Just Dance. The whole time, they will insult each other, but lovingly.

Satan

Satan will actively look for books on finance, budgeting, business, etc. To help Mammon. He pitches it as ways to help him get rich, and they will spend hours together trying to form a business plan. While Mammon doesn't usually have the patience, for the sake of spending time with his little brother, he pushes through. Satan usually does this only after one of Mammon's bigger schemes fell through, or when Lucifer tells Mammon to stop.

Asmo

These guys both model. Mammon will set aside some money and time to go spend with Asmo on clothes, accessories, etc. Mammon is just as skilled behind the camera as he is in front of it, so whenever Asmo wants to model, doesn't matter where, Mammon is ready. Sometimes when they've planned their outing with enough notice, Mammon will have saved enough money to buy something for Asmo.

Beel

Whenever Beel is cooking for himself, he usually adds a lot seasonings. Sometimes, it's in hopes that spice will slow him down. Other times it's because he really likes the food, but has almost become desensitized to the taste😥 however, when he makes these batches of food, he'll sometimes invite Mammon to join him. Mammon has an ungodly high tolerance for spice, at least when he's eating. (His stomach may or may not suffer later). Mammon sometimes foolishly challenges Beel to a speed eating contest. Beel tries to decline; he just wants to eat, and he does not want to watch Mammon give himself indigestion or heartburn, but Mammon, persistent as ever, will try and eat as many servings of Beel's food as quickly as possible. This is one of the few times Beel doesn't get mad, he just watches with mild amusemeny and concern.

Belphie

Belphie and Mammon are surprisingly close, despite being complete foils of eacb other. Mammon has lots of energy, Belphie has none. Mammon likes to go out, Belphie likes to stay in. However, building forts? Hell yes, Belphie has enough energy for that. They usually build pillow and blanket forts in the observatory. Belphie will direct Mammon in how to build it for the most amount of comfort. Usually they'll just end up plugging in their headphones and listening to their own music in each other's company until they fall asleep and/or Beel joins them.

Levi

Satan

Levi introduced Satan to VR, and their relationship has taken a turn for the better since then. Satan is more interested in medical simulators and animal simulation games. Levi once made the mistake of playing Mario Kart with Satan, and his room was left in shambles, so now they only do sims to avoid the competition with other players. Satan also likes to play Among Us, as it gives him a chance to flex his detective skills. His self-control is much better with this, for whatever reason.

Asmo

Levi and Asmo are constantly at odds. Not like Mammon, but Asmo cringes every time he sees the way Levi is sitting, every time he hears Levi has ruined his sleep schedule, and every time he sees him sleeping in tje goddamn bathtub. Yes, it has lots of pillows, but none of them are really good for support. He is constantly trying to get Levi to at least stretch or do yoga every once in a while, as well as sit properly in his chair. These stretching session are also when Levi starts to talk about the next cosplay he's working on, which Asmo will undoubtedly want to help with.

(Ik that its implied that Levi taught Asmo how to sew and stuff, but that hc is everywhere, otherwise I would elaborate. It's really cute though.)

Beel

Although Levi spends a lot of his time in his room, he is still the Grand Admiral of Hell's Navy. He does dedicate some time to working out, and when he does, he does it with Beel, because he knows Beel will help keep him on track. Beel is also Levi's biggest source of encouragment. Levi thanks Beel in mass quantities of food from Akuzon later, sometimes in hopes of winning something from a draw, other times as a genuine thank you.

Belphie

Introvert buddies! Belphie doesn't really care for video games, Levi doesn't have the same speed as Mammon for building a pillow fort, but sometimes Belphie will ask to come into Levi's room to look at his aquarium. He finds it relaxing. They don't really talk to each other, they just enjoy each other's company. If Belphie is feeling curious or notices Levi is kind of upset, he'll start asking Levi about the different fish in his aquarium, which quickly cheers Levi up. Belphie's favourite thing about Levi though, is that he is usually awake the same time he is, helping him feel a little less lonely.

Satan

Asmo

I've mentioned this before in my random hcs post, but Asmo and Satan like to study astrology together. They find it fascinating in how accurate it can be, especially since they only get to see the *real* stars, moon, sun, and planets when they're in the human realm. Asmo actually introduced it to Satan, as he used to study it in the Celestial Realm as well.

Beel

Beel is constantly coming up with new recipes, so Satan documents them all for him. He'll be a scribe, while Beel tells him exactly what he's doing the whole time. The other brothers don't know, (Beel asked to keep t a secret), but Satan has helped Beel publish 3 cookbooks already.

Satan also attends Beel's games whenever possible, and Beel has attended Satan's debate team or sometimes book club meetings whenever possible. Because Satan and Belphie are close, so are Satan and Beel.

Belphie

>:)

They are constantly coming up with ways to inconvenience Lucifer, which is their main form of bonding. However, Belphie also taught Satan the constellations when they were younger, so now they will often go stargazing together. Satan doesn't remember, but he used to make up stories about the constellations, and Belphie has a written record of all of them. Sometimes, Belphie will retell the stories from memory to see if Satan recognizes it, but to no avail. Instead Satan will tell another story he has read about the stars. They tell each other stories and stargaze until they fall asleep.

Asmo

Beel

Beel will do warm ups with Asmo; basic stretches, a jog, etc. They will sometimes do yoga together. However, Beel works out a lot, and sometimes his muscles get sore, so Asmo gets to work. Being around Asmo brings out the gossip girl in Beel, so while Asmo is giving him a massage, he's also getting all the tea from all the clubs that Beel is a part of. Beel is very careful with his delivery, but he trusts Asmo to never spin his words the wrong way and to use the new info for good.

Belphie

Asmo has his own fashion line. He often asks Belphie to rate the comfort of his clothes, as he wants them to be fashionable, functional, and comfortable. Belphie never pulls his punches, and Asmo is grateful for the honest criticism. However, sometimes it does get on his nerves, but Belphie makes up for it later by getting Asmo new linens, often silk, because Belphie knows Asmo's preferences. Asmo always asks him where he finds it, but Belphie never answers.

Beel + Belphie

These two can bond almost over anything. However, one of their favorite things to do together is make Quetzalcoatl brain soup. Belphie stays awake long enough to remind Beel to leave some for him.

(My brain just left me here to rot apparently, I'm sorry.)

Oof

Masterlist

[wordsfromthesol]

Meet Cute

Author: @wordsfromthesol Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: Your late night thesis work leads you to meet the ever-charming Dick Grayson. Warnings: Language, implied smut Word Count: 1.6k A/N: I was just remembering my long nights at Starbucks while writing my thesis…and thought of this. A thesis is basically a super long and excruciating research paper you have to write to get a post-graduate degree, for any of those unaware of the term!

All you had wanted was a peaceful night. You knew you could make your next thesis deadline without any all-nighters, as long as you didn’t run into any major problems. Though it seemed the universe just wanted to challenge you. It was pushing midnight, and though Starbucks closed almost an hour prior, your frequent long nights at the coffeehouse allowed for friendships to form. You often stayed while the workers did there closing duties, and tonight was no different. All the baristas had stumbled into the back to finish working when a man clad in a black and blue suit crashed through the storefront window. You watched in awe as he slid back into the counter, trying to cover his head. Another much bigger man staggered in through the new opening.

Both men seemed completely unaware of your presence, as the larger man drew nearer to his foe…still incapacitated on the floor. Without thinking, you picked up your laptop and slammed it into the back of his head. You watched as he slowly began turning towards you, that is, until you once again cracked the computer against his face. He collapsed backwards just as the man clad in spandex regained his composure and jumped to his feet.

You just stood there in shock. I can’t believe I did that. All my work, all my programs, how am I going to finish now? You glanced down at your hands, still clutching the remnants of your laptop, and then up again at the stranger.

He looked back at you noting the panic spread across your face, “Hey hey hey, it’s alright. It’s over.”

You realized he was trying to calm you down for all the wrong reasons. The emotion written on your face was not caused by the man laying unconscious before you, but the realization that anything you had not saved prior to your thoughtlessness was gone. The realization that all the programs you had bought to conduct your analyses were gone. This was a problem that would take weeks of sleepless nights, as well as an ample amount of funds – which you did not have to spare – to fix. You looked down again at your computer, still unable to speak, and gathered your things. Leaving what was left of your computer behind, you got in your car and immediately drove home.

“Did she just…leave?” Dick asked himself in disbelief. He walked over to pick up the broken pieces of your computer, “maybe Timmy can fix this for her.” Quickly, he scooped it up and headed to the manor.

You got back to your apartment and couldn’t even make it to your bedroom. You immediately collapsed on your couch and stared into the darkness. Everything you had been working so hard for had come crashing down on you. Eventually you began running scenarios in your head, because what else could you do? Your presentation was in a week, and your thesis had to be approved by the committee even before that. You had planned to make the final touches today and tomorrow.

“Okay…think Y/N. You can open programs on the school computers, but they would be read-only since the school only has the student license. Then if I printed them, they would have that stupid ‘student version’ watermark.”  You stood up and began to pace in your living room. “Okay, well maybe I won’t need to make changes to my analyses…that will just depend on the committee review. So, how do I get into the program I was using to actually format my thesis?” You sat back down, trying to think of someone who could help. Eventually, you must have fallen asleep because the next thing you know you an unfamiliar sound jogged you awake. Quietly you reached over to the end table and picked up an empty glass, hurling it towards the figure. You ran to turn on the light and noticed it was the same stranger, clad in that spandex suit.

He sat up on the floor and grabbed the back of his head, “I guess I kinda deserved that…though I have to say I’m surprised. Not many people can hear me coming, and even less have that kind of aim.”

“Sorry…I just…well…I live alone…and not in a great area.” You stuttered through your words, still unsure why this masked man was sitting in your living room. “Why, exactly, are you here?”

“Oh right! Well, you seemed kind of out of it earlier…and at first I thought, well duh, crazy people just crashed through the window. Then I realized you may have some important stuff you just lost on that computer, when you, ya’know smashed it into the other guy’s head.”

At the mention of your computer, you instantly froze up. Reading the signs strewn across your face, he continued, “Anyways, my brother is pretty good with the technology thing. He said he was able to recover everything.” Standing up, he picked up the brand-new computer which had landed next to him. “I hope I didn’t break it in the fall,” he chuckled as he handed you the new computer.

Normally, you would never be inclined to take such a gift. But, in this case you couldn’t see any other way around it. “I…I can’t tell you how much this means to me.” You moved to sit on the couch, “My thesis presentation is next week. I thought I was going to miss my deadline. You just saved my life…or at least my graduation date.” You smiled up at him.

The next week went by way too quickly, and you were at the school setting up your presentation. One by one your committee members filed in, but just as you were about to begin a stream of students came through the door. Great, more people to watch me stumble through this presentation.

Panic set into your mind as the teachers asked everyone, yourself included, to step out of the room so they could deliberate. This is normal, you knew this would happen. You started pacing in front of the door, when a man approached you. His brilliant blue eyes stared at you just a bit too long, before he spoke.

“Well I thought you did great.”

“Oh, you saw that? How, uhm, or why did you come?”

“It sounded interesting, so I thought I’d check it out! Clearly, a bunch of people thought so.” Mentioning the crowd of students that attended but leaving out the fact that he gave them each fifty bucks to attend. He couldn’t be the only non-committee member there, that would be a little suspicious.

“So do you…” you’re next sentence was cut off by the sound of the door opening. You smiled and nodded his way before heading back into the room. Well that was shitty timing.

“Congratulations! We are passing your presentation, but there are some changes and we would like to make to the analysis to help with comprehensibility.”

Dutifully you took notes, though this milestone was over, you still had work to do before you passed. Almost an hour had passed when you exited the room again, only to find the mysterious attendee sitting back on the bench. Excitedly, for more than one reason, you walked over.

“I did it! I passed! I never have to give that presentation again!” Why you were exclaiming such news to a stranger was beyond you, but it felt right.

“That’s fantastic! I had no doubts, Y/N. Celebratory drinks?”

“It’s ten in the morning…”

“Celebratory brunch?”

“Honestly, coffee sounds amazing.”

Dick was pleasantly surprised by your answer and motion for you to follow. “There’s this great place just up the street.”

Soon the dates grew more frequent and before you know it, over a year had passed. You came home late from work one night to find Dick sitting on your couch, enveloped in the tv.

“Using me for my cable again, Dick?”

“Whaa…” he put his hand to his chest, “Y/N, I would never.”

“Sure…oh I picked up Thai food, I got enough for you too.”

“You know me so well”

“It doesn’t hurt that your here nearly every night.”

“Yeah, about that…don’t you think it would be easier if I just, well, lived here?”

Slightly stunned, you stared at him, not realizing you had yet to answer.

“I mean, I don’t have…” You cut him off once your daze subsided.

“No, that would be great! I’m just surprised you brought it up.” I mean how is he going to hid the vigilante thing now?

Almost as if he read your mind, Dick continued, “There is one more thing you should probably know before you say yes.”

“Okay…what’s up?” You questioned, sitting on the couch next to him.

“I’m Nightwing.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Confusion spread across his face, so he decided that maybe you didn’t understand. “Like, the vigilante, the one from Starbucks, just before we met.”

“Yeah, Dick, I know.”

“But…but how?!”

“Dickie, come on. It wasn’t that hard to figure out. Your ‘sickness’ comes whenever Nightwing appears on the news getting beat to shit. All the cuts and bruises.”

“When did you figure it out?”

“Like a month after we started dating,” the look on his face was priceless. You just shrugged and continued, “I asked around after my thesis. Students told me YOU paid them to watch it.”

A deep crimson spread across his face, and all you wanted to do was worsen it. “That, plus…who couldn’t recognize an ass like that.”

You let out a laugh as he pulled you on top of him. “I’m going to get you back for that Y/L/N.”

“Do your worst, Grayson.” You chuckled as he lifted the both of you up and carried you into the bedroom.

[angstalottle]

Blue Sparks

Part 1

Klaus remembers the day Five was ripped apart.

It was coming to the end of a week-long punishment that Five had practically begged for by yelling at the dinner table and making a run for it.

Maybe he would have gotten away and had a chance at life if Mom hadn’t caught him and snapped a collar around his neck that shocked him every time he tried to teleport stopping himself before the blue was able to form around his hands.

Five dropped to the floor panting as their father came over to him and delivered a swift his from his cane across the cheek “as my other attempts at punishing you have clearly been ineffective for the next month you shall do without your powers.”

At first, Klaus was jealous.

Not only were Five powers the best begin with now he got a break from training too?! How was this fair?!

It seemed the other siblings felt the same as they continued to eat while Five pulled himself up and stumbled back to his room moving up the stairs like a kicked dog.

Only Vanya went to check on him that night, the others pretended they didn’t hear the crying.

The first day didn’t seem so bad.

Sure Five was sporting a nasty bruise on his cheek but he only had to take part in group training and after that was allowed to go study or some shit while Klaus was given his private time slot to suffer even more.

He couldn’t help but shove him to the side as they crossed paths in the hall only feeling a little bad when on instinct Five tried to teleport away and ended up on his knees gasping in pain.

It seemed like everyone had decided Five deserved more punishment as come meal time his cutlery was dulled, his chair had a tack on it, his juice was taken and whenever Reginald wasn’t looking someone would steal some of his food.

Whenever Five tried to do anything about it Luther would tip him off his chair knowing that would make him try to teleport and end with him being shocked.

By the second day it had almost become a twisted game.

Anyone who got Fives extra training particularly seemed to enjoy getting him shocked, after all by then the collar didn’t even seem to hurt him much.

At the end of the third day Klaus was woken up by someone in the bathroom throwing up. He decided to investigate just in case it was Ben.

He was greeted with the sight of a very pale Five flushing the toilet and wiping his mouth.

“You ok?” Klaus asked softly.

“You care?” Five responded groaning slightly as he put a hand on his stomach “I think somethings wrong with me”

Klaus rolled his eyes “Yeah I could of told you that... do you think you’ve got the flu?” He asked taking a step back.

Five shrugged “I don’t know. If this lasts any longer I’ll talk to mom.”

“Lucky you're not doing your personal training then” Klaus huffed bitterly “do you know I got yours today, it was hell so thanks for that.”

Five narrowed his eyes for a moment “what is your training anyway?”

That caught Klaus off guard. No one asked that it wasn’t like they weren’t supposed to talk about it... just no one did.

“Dad locks me in a graveyard so I stop being scared of ghosts. You?”

Klaus was expecting something easy. After all what kind of training could you even do for teleporting?

“I guess he wants me to be able to use my powers when I’m scared too” Five finally  said.

“Yeah but what does he do?” Klaus tapped his foot impatiently”

“It changes every time. He liked burying me alive for a while but when I figured out how to teleport without moving he switched things up with basic forms of torture. Before the... dinner incident it was waterboarding.”

The information hung heavily in the air.

Klaus had no idea that... Five was being tortured for hours daily and not even letting slip what he was going through.

Suddenly trying to run off to a different time made a lot more sense.

Klaus didn’t know what to say. He just stood there so long that Five took it as a sign to leave.

He stepped out back to his room just give Klaus a slipping glimpse of the harsh red burn around his neck.

Five wasn’t at breakfast the next day.

That seemed to be enough to end the teasing from the others and replace it with worry.

The last time Five hadn’t been present was after a mission and he got shot in the gut and needed to spend a few days recovering.

When Mom made an appearance she was quickly hounded with questions from her children.

“Where’s Five?!” Came out the front runner and therefore was answered first.

“Your brother is going to be spending the day in the infirmary. He should be fine but has got a fever so do not disturb him.” She smiled as she returned to making pancakes.

Guilt made its home in the sibling's guts.

Getting shocked over and over again as well as having your food taken could make anyone sick let alone someone as skinny as Five was.

Klaus felt particularly bad because he knew something was up but still let him go to bed to suffer alone all night.

Maybe that was why he snuck down to see him while Reginald was distracted with Allison rumouring Luther into thinking he was an alien.

He snuck down keeping an eye out for both mom and Pogo letting out a sigh of relief when he finally got down and saw Five lying on the bed.

Is usually pale face was flushed red and his breathing was a little more laboured then it should be.

“Five?” Klaus asked quietly trying not to look at the needles hungrily.

They likely didn’t have anything that would make the background screaming go away and if his hunch was right, we're just filled with antibiotics for the burn on Fives neck.

There of course was no answer and Klaus sighed.

Of course, if he’s sick he wouldn’t be awake to chat.

He really only came here to see he was ok and well... he looked a lot worse than he did last night.

He shifted awkwardly “I wanted to say sorry for how I treated you this last couple of days. What dads doing already sucks and we shouldn’t have made it worse. I hope you get better soon Vanya’s gonna be sad if you can’t listen to her play.”

With nothing else to say Klaus awkwardly stepped out of the room.

He assumed he hadn’t been caught but considering the next day when he went to check in on Five again, he found the door locked someone must have seen him.

Klaus decided to just wait until Five was better to talk to him and apologise properly... and maybe talk to him about private training again.

He wanted to help his brother and maybe be helped in return.

It couldn’t hurt to have a teleporter on your side when you're locked in a hellish place surrounded by screaming angry ghosts.

It happened at 4 am exactly.

Everyone but Klaus was fast asleep so they didn’t see the start of it.

He was staring out the window doing his best to ignore the crying woman on his bed when a familiar flash of blue appeared outside.

At first, he assumed Five got the collar off and was testing out his powers.

Then Dad, Pogo and Mom all ran outside and started yelling.

The really weird thing was that the blue glow around Five that normally dissipated in less than a second was still there.

Almost like when Ben let out the horror a blue glow came from his chest.

Five screaming was what made Klaus run down to the garden though quickly followed by the others.

For once Reginald was too distracted to notice his children breaking the rules and was instead yelling over the harsh wind and screams “the power levels have grown too high for his body to contain them any longer. I believed number Five may have use as a battery but I underestimated how fast the charge would build.”

As he spoke the glow in Fives chest seemed to crack outwards splintering out until it covered his entire body and his eyes glowed blue.

“Sir how do we help him?” Lither asked as though he could just strong arm Five into being ok.

“I’m afraid number Five is in reachable now. Return to the house at once.” He snapped but Klaus wasn’t going to have that.

He wasn’t sure what exactly he was thinking as he ran over and grabbed Five my shoulders his hands burning from the heat coming off him.

“FIVE! Please, can you hear me?”

Five slowly nodded tears streaming down his face “it hurts... so bad”

His voice was distant like it was being carried away to some distant land.

“I know! You’ll be ok! I promise you're going to be fi-“

Klaus never got to finish that sentence because Five began to crumble away into a shower of blue sparks.

He did the only thing he could and pull Five into a hug right as his body dissolved into nothingness.

Klaus was left kneeling clutching the air in shock.

He could hear his siblings screams and cries behind him but he didn’t care.

Five was gone.

He frantically began looking around for Five to appear as one of the many ghosts.

Getting more and more frustrated.

“You won’t find him number Four. While number Five is gone he is likely not dead in the same sense you are accustomed to. He has been erased from existence in a way.”

The news was like a punch to the gut.

Their brother was gone.. as good as dead and Reginald didn’t even care.

Klaus was, of course, punished the next day. They all were.

But it seemed like no matter what they went through the pain of having Five torn from their lives like that was worse than anything their father could throw at them.

They grew closer in their grief and guilt. Even Vanya was included.

Ben dying was really what forced them all to move out and go their separate ways.

Being together to be picked off one at a time just hurt too much...

Klaus lost touch with the others but was content with drugs and being followed around by Ben forever.

That is until a blue sparkle caught the corner of his eye and every familiar scream lit up the night.

[mowulf]

How to Train Your Downer, CH 1

Next

I’ve posted this story on AO3, but I figured I’d start posting it here, too! I’m going to post one chapter a week either on Saturday or Sunday until I catch up, at which point I’ll update both sites at the same time. Yes, I know I’ve got other stories, but I’m going to be focusing on this one first. :)

Warning for profanity and abuse.

Waking up was a fight from start to finish. A fight that Arthur wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to win. In his semi-lucid state, he could vaguely make out bright colors that swirled together as the room swam in front of him. He could still feel the phantom hands grabbing at him and he tried to brush them off. Moving was a mistake as pain danced up his side and settled in his ribs with every breath. How many were broken? He wasn’t certain, but he guessed at least three, one of which he knew was out of place.

Arthur relaxed into the mattress as he tried to sort out the most recent events. He’d been running from a doctor, he remembered that. The doctor had recognized him despite the cheerful greeting and bounce in his step. Next thing he knew, a group of doctors and bobbies were all after him and he’d… what? What happened next?

They’d caught him. That much was obvious. But how? He couldn’t remember. Despite the pain, Arthur rubbed at his face in frustration. Had they given him Joy? Or did he just have a concussion? He didn’t feel particularly happy, so maybe he hadn’t been pumped full of drugs. So that left brain damage.

Wonderful.

With a small sigh, Arthur closed his eyes and tried to relax again. He didn’t appear to be in any immediate danger. Besides, it wasn’t like he could actually do anything even if he was. Better to just go to sleep and deal with the situation whenever it happened. With that thought, he stared blankly at the ceiling until he finally fell asleep.

---

It was several hours before Arthur woke up again. He knew that from the light now streaming through the window. It was nice, and reminded him of a better time. Breathing still hurt, but the rest of his body was beginning to remember the beating and now he felt like he’d been run over by a train.

And he was still alone.

The longer he waited, the greater the risk of getting caught. Still, he couldn’t just leave. Not out of politeness or any sense of gratitude. Just trying to move caused shooting pains and he was pretty sure most of the muscles around his left hip were bruised and sprained, if not outright torn.

Actually, he should probably start with a basic self-assessment to see just how bad the damage was. That made much more sense. First things first, what hurt?

His ribs, obviously. The left side hurt worse and Arthur vaguely recalled someone stepping on him. The worst of the pain seemed to be when he was inhaling. Collapsed lung, possibly? Or just bruised muscles protesting any kind of movement?

Then there were his arms. His right shoulder ached in a “hit the ground and skidded” kind of way. His left, however… He couldn’t move his shoulder without an intense pain and a quick palpation revealed swelling and yet more pain. Dislocated? If so, it appeared to have been put back in place (rather roughly at that). At least it wasn’t all bad.

The rest of his pain seemed to be from blunt damage, and even that was localized to his left side around his waist and hip. Not nearly as bad as he had predicted. He’d anticipated deep cuts and even an amputation. If bruising was the worst he had to deal with, then he’d be fine in the long run. At the present moment, he felt anything but fine.

Arthur stared at the ceiling for a few minutes as he slowly collected his thoughts. With every passing minute he could feel the fog in his brain clear away a little bit more.But with clarity came fear. From what he could recall, he was the only downer actively living in the Parade District. This begged an important question: who rescued him?

None of the possible answers were good. He couldn’t risk sticking around. He had to leave. Now. But, oh, it would hurt so badly! Arthur squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. First things first, he had to get upright.

Getting himself into a vaguely sitting position was absolutely torture. He could only put weight on one arm while the other was (thankfully) carefully bandaged into a sling against his chest. With only one arm, though, it meant he had to use mostly core muscles to get upright, which in turn pulled on his chest and ribs.

It took entirely too long, but Arthur finally managed to sit up and gently swing his legs over the edge of the bed. He took a few minutes just to breathe before he finally stood up-

And immediately went down. There was something wrong with his hip and the moment he put weight on it, a sharp pain shot down his leg and it gave out, sending him crashing to the floor on his bad shoulder. His vision sparked and he found himself screaming and clawing at his shoulder as if he could rip the pain out if he just dug his fingers in far enough.

The door slammed open and suddenly a constable and a doctor were crouched over him, talking to each other. Arthur only caught snippets of their conversation, though, as his pain turned to panic and he tried to get away despite the hurt.

“Hold him down!”

“When did he-”

“-medicine, quick!”

“Shouldn’t even be awake!”

“Not too much!”

The constable grabbed Arthur and roughly flipped him onto his back. He wheezed, though whether out of pain or panic he couldn’t tell, and jerked his head away. Next thing he knew, his jaw was grabbed and forced open while the constable’s other hand shoved his bad shoulder into the carpet. Arthur howled and jerked but the hands held firm.

There was a clack of metal against teeth and Arthur shuddered at the sound, only to gag and spit when the thick sludge hit his tongue. It was like an awful combination of yogurt and gasoline, made infinitely worse when his jaw was released only to be forced and held shut.

Doing his best to scream through his nose, Arthur clawed at the constable’s arm and kicked with his (mostly) good leg. No amount of squirming and writhing would get him loose and the two men were determined to get him to swallow despite his protests.

“The sooner you swallow, the sooner you’ll feel better,” the doctor said, leaning back on his heels to watch Arthur more easily.

The bobby simply grunted when Arthur managed to scratch his mouth. “I still say he- akpth!” He bit Arthur’s fingers gently and they quickly retreated to claw at the hand over his mouth. “His breathing’s getting bad.”

“Yes, well, that’s his own fault now, isn’t it?” the doctor said casually. “No idea why they want to keep him off Joy. Maybe Verloc has something planned for him? There we go!” His voice pitched up as Arthur gave one final attempt to shove the officer off before finally swallowing. “That’s a good lad!”

Arthur gave a weak growl at the baby talk but quickly went quiet quiet. His throat hurt from yelling and he just wanted to wash the awful taste out of his mouth. Already his body was beginning to reject the medicine (if he could even call it that, good lord the stuff was awful). Maybe they’d have mercy and leave him alone to his suffering.

Surprisingly, the bobby got up and carefully lifted Arthur off the floor. He was too sore and tired to fight by then so he allowed himself to ragdoll in to man’s arms. Nothing really mattered anymore. He was trapped with the two worst possible people to be captured by and was completely at their mercy. Maybe they’d feel sorry and put him out of his misery quickly, though from what he’d overheard that was unlikely.

And then he was being settled back in the bed. An extra pillow was tucked under his shoulders to keep him somewhat elevated and help him breathe easier and the blanket draped over him before the two men stepped away. Arthur watched them cautiously as they held a whispered conversation before they left. The doctor returned a few minutes later with a chair and a radio, both of which he set up next to the bed.

For twenty minutes Arthur glared while the doctor simply sat and smiled at him pleasantly. The radio played soothing music in the background. Eventually, though, his body decided that sleep was more important than the impending doom sitting nearby and, despite his best efforts to stay awake, he found himself relaxing into the bed and finally nodding off completely.

[ballerinaroy]

her plan

The plan was simple. Travel back in time before the Death Eaters, before the Horcruxes, before Tom Riddle ever had a chance to shed his muggle father’s name and kill him. There was only one problem, the same problem that had caused their side to lose. Having morals.

A Tom/Ginny novel I’ll never write. 

Ginny hadn’t been chosen she had chosen herself. It had been her plan, after all. She knew him, had seen him. Knew what he was capable of. He’d been her induction into the wizarding world. The subject of her nightmares ever since.

A refugee, only eighteen but starved and skinny enough to pass for younger.

“Except for the eyes,” George had told her when they’d prepared. “You look ancient.”

“And you look so much better,” Ginny chided. “At least I managed to keep both my ears.”

It had only been them left. Everyone else picked off one by one. Left with no other choice.

“Ginny,” George said helplessly. He hugged her, tight. The way their mother had when she was frightened. The way their father had when he’d restrained her from running at Harry’s body, limp in Hagrid’s arms.

“I know,” she told him, unwilling to let their last memory of him be full of tears. And then came the promise neither of them could make. “It’ll all be okay.”

Only neither of them knew. There was no way of knowing. Even the smallest changes had ripple effects and this…

Survival wasn’t the question. It was wether she’d exist at all. Part of her—the very small part that she’d discovered that she’d been conceived just weeks after her uncle’s deaths—hoped that she wouldn’t. That her parents would never have so much grief as to need a whole broad of children. Would not fear losing one so much that they needed to make another. That they might live in a world so happy that it wouldn’t take so many children to feel like the world was complete.

End the war before it began. Make it so she’d never have to know.

George released her at last. He appraised her one final time, lip trembling ever so slightly and told her in a falsely cheerful tone. “You’d better be Gryffindor again.”

The laugh that escaped her was strange, hurt her throat. It had been so long since she’d last laughed.

“You should go,” she told him, wiping her eyes. “This amount of magic, it’s bound to attract attention.”

“Well, if we’re right about this, it won’t matter at all.”

The thought gave her a strange comfort. “Well, wish me luck. Just going to go kill You-Know-Who.”

George looked as though he wanted to embrace her again, come up with an excuse for her to stay. Ginny knew if she didn’t do it now she never would.

“Good luck.” He said, carefully stepping back.

Her last sight was of the tears streaming down his cheeks as the whole world spun away from her.

Ginny had never used a time turner before and found the process to be utterly revolting. Her first few moments of 1942 in fact were spent spewing what little contents her stomach held and it took her perhaps half an hour to orient herself enough to get off of the forest ground.

They’d chosen the area, miles from Hogsmeade for it’s relative reassurance that no one would stumble upon her. Scotland, weeks before the Hogwarts term started again. Enough time to scrounge some gold and a cover before she’d be expected to start at Hogwarts.

“Homeschooled?” Dippit asked as she petitioned for her admittance into Hogwarts.

“My father, I believe you knew him, Gerold Weasley?”

Dipit nodded, looking at her over the papers she’d presented him with.

“Well, after my mother’s death, he didn’t think it safe for me. Or, I think he rather wanted to keep me close. He was lonely, knew his time would come.

Dippit peered over the top of the papers he was examining, interest in his eyes.

“Dragon pox,” she said, a carefully placed hitch in her voice. “He didn’t suffer long.”

The headmaster looked away uncomfortably as she dried her eyes.

“I know it’s unorthodox but, I wanted to come to Hogwarts, and now that my father has passed I have nowhere else to go.”

Ginny goes back in time to Riddle’s fifth year. She confounds her way into Hogwarts with the intention of killing off Riddle before he ever gets the chance to become Voldemort. Poison, they’d decided, because of it’s relative access if she knew the right potions—which she did—and because a killing curse didn’t seem plausible, no matter how much hate she held for him.

Only, Tom isn’t the person she knew. Or rather he’s the Tom she’d forgotten. After all she’d known his soul. He was quiet, calculating. But not cruel. Always asking insightful questions, charming. And no matter how many times Harry had told her of his handsomeness she wasn’t prepared for him to really be so very attractive. It takes several weeks to gain his trust, not confidence, but enough confidence in her that he was lazy around her.

Finally as they’re about to break for Christmas, Ginny starts the process of poisoning him. Small doses, wrecking his insides. He will suffer, just as all the people she loved would one day, but as he grows weak he begins to confide in her. About how his mother abandoned him, about how his father never sought him out. Of how his whole life had been tainted by the act he’d started before even drawing his first breath.

“My first act in life was killing my mother.

“You should recognize her sacrifice, be who she wanted you to be.”

“I’ll never know what she wanted for me.”

It’s this small confession that makes Ginny reevaluate what she’s done. He’s no monster, misguided sure, but he’s never known better. Ginny thinks, perhaps, that she could guide him into the light. Show him that he matters, that life is worth living. There are discoveries to be made.

After all she knows him. And Ginny’s always had a soft spot for the orphan who is reckless with their life.

She halts the plan and dedicates herself to saving him. No one in her mind is above redemption. And who would she be if she were to kill someone before they had the chance to do something good? Tom grows warmer to her, begins confiding in her. He tells her how afraid he is of death.

“It haunts me. I wake at night, I hear it around every corner. It’s coming for me.”

“Death’s not coming for you.”

“You think I’m mad. Just like all the others. Whenever I speak about it scares people away. I thought you were different.”

“I’m not frightened, I just think you’re obsessing over something that isn’t a possibility.”

“And how should you know? Have you ever known death like I have?”

Ginny bit her tongue as image after image flashed through her mind. Fred, Tonks and Lupin. Harry. Harry. The rest were too painful to name.

“You wouldn’t understand.” He said, turning away from her. “Forget I said anything.”

So she said the only thing she could. “You’re right, I couldn’t understand. So help me to.”

It’s a slippery slope from going back in time to kill him to deciding to save him to thinking that perhaps one Horcrux can’t harm anything. Just one. Not seven. She’ll never let it get act far. And who is she to pass judgement? Her hands are not clean.

The chamber opens and all of the trauma from her first year at Hogwarts comes back with a vengeance. Paralyzes her. The professors take concern. Ask her those same questions as they did.

You look ill, are you sure you’re alright?

Then others regard her with suspicion. The transfer student, gifted, quiet. They don’t say it, but she can see it in their eyes.

The longer she’s in the past, the longer she’s around him, the easier it is to understand why he’s so frightened by his own mortality. And it’s a ripple effect. She’ll only have to change one thing really to make sure the world she wants won’t happen.

Besides, Tom doesn’t seem that cruel. Doesn’t talk about blood purity or eradicating muggles. All he cares for is ensuring he won’t die before he has a chance to live.

There’s talks of closing the school. Ginny feels sick with guilt. She doesn’t know when but knows it’ll happen soon and she’s failed. She falls asleep to dreams of her family rejecting her, shunning her for failing.

“There was nothing else I could do!”

“Yes there was Ginny.”

Ginny awakes from the dream sobbing, knowing she only has one chance. She goes to comfort him and finds him dressed, slipping from the common room. Ginny follows him from the dungeons, up the stairs and into the girls lavatory.

She’s seconds too late and shuts her eyes just in time as a horrible scream is cut off abruptly. The scraping of a passage opening, the slither of the snake disappearing.

Ginny knows what to do. She has to stop him, now, before he has a chance to perform the ritual. Before he takes the first step towards his immortality. It’s just like when she was a child. Opening the sink, sliding down the grimy passage, emerging in a vast chamber.

Tom is standing at the end of the passage, staring up at the statue of Slytherin.

She raises her wand and, without turning, he addresses her.

“Ginny, I was wondering when you’d come.”

She stopped, still at the end of the passage and stared at him. When he turned he’s as cool as ever. No sign of what’s about to come. 

“Or perhaps the more accurate statement was I was wondering if you would come. Perhaps there is some Gryffindor in you yet-“

“What are you-?”

“There’s no need to lie to me Ginny. I know.”

Her mouth felt very dry as she stared at him.

“I’ve known from the start. From the moment our eyes met I knew you were special.

“You’ve already learned legilimency.”

Tom’s features turned into a nasty smirk. “Yes. Rather advanced magic that. It didn’t help that you were always trying to look over my shoulder but I managed to master the basics of it. And you gave me motivation to keep practicing.”

Ginny didn’t say anything as another cold wave of failure rushed over her. But he didn’t need motivation to keep going, spilling his secrets to her.

“So much more than meets the eye. Traveled back in time to kill me? Only you couldn’t go through with it. All I had to do was show you a shred of humanity. Anything you would have run with. And all the while you couldn’t stop noticing the similarities between me and the boy that I will kill.

“To think I might not have ever stumbled across the magic if I hadn’t first heard the whisper in your thoughts. Horcruxes. What an obscure little piece of magic. It might have taken me years to find it and yet here you are, a living diary of all I will ever do. Well, what I might have done. But thanks to you I won’t make the same mistakes.”

“You should have killed me when you had the chance.” He drawls and a smile split his face as though it was a very clever thing to have said.

Ginny tries fighting off the curse that has her paralyzed, tries to gain control of her body but it’s no use. She’s powerless to him. There’s nothing to be done.

Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever. Ginny should have known it was a prophecy.

[xxx-cat-xxx]

Devils and Dust

“He´s been going down for so long that he´s starting to yearn for the moment he´ll finally crash. But not tonight. It´s the Friday after Peter´s birthday, and Tony owes him a grand party at the very least, after all he´s made the kid go through.”

Steve witnesses a feverish Tony falling apart after Pepper has left. This is set in an AU where Civil War didn´t happen, where Cap and Iron Man haven´t known each other very long, and where Tony´s mental health is much much worse than shown in the movies. It´s somewhat longer than I intended it to be, and also darker than the stuff I usually write, but I was in the mood.

PTSD, angst, depression (maybe?), illness, emeto. Additional TW for alcohol overuse.

I've got my finger on the trigger And tonight faith just ain't enough When I look inside my heart There's just devils and dust

- BS

It´s been a quiet week and that´s exactly the problem. Tony has always been able to deal with pressure, with adrenaline-pitching situations, life-or-death decisions. It´s peaceful times like these that get to his bones, when the lack of distraction leaves him with numb and empty and feeling useless.

The flashbacks have been coming and going for the last few days, and it doesn´t help his fragile sense of reality that he´s caught a bug somewhere and is running a temperature. He´s so detached from the world that he might find it comical, wasn´t it for the bone-deep exhaustion, the pounding in his head and the sense of foreboding that´s been weighing down on him for weeks.

He´s been having trouble sleeping, the dreams turning more and more violent every time he tries. They leave him breathless and sobbing when he awakes in his too-large double bed, Pepper´s absence so overwhelming that it´s nearly tangible. She´s been away for a month, and he´s been going down for so long that he´s starting to yearn for the moment he´ll finally crash. But not tonight. It´s the Friday after Peter´s birthday, and Tony owes him a grand party at the very least, after all he´s made the kid go through. .

He´d shifted all appointments to have the day off for preparations, but owing to another sleepless night he was finished with everything at noon, leaving him wandering around his own empty tower, unable to come up with something worth doing. He´s lacking the motivation to even enter the lab and fix the pair of robots he broke during his latest week-long workshop binge, which would probably get him worried if he could spare any energy to care about it.

When it´s time for him to get ready, his hands are shaking hard enough that he´s having trouble fixing his tie.

“How do I look, Friday?” he prompts when he has finally managed to make himself presentable. Tony has neglected the AI recently, and he can practically hear her scowling when she replies.

“Dead tired and high on caffeine, Sir, so nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Yeah, that´ll do,” he mumbles to himself and startles when he hears the doorbell ring.

The security cameras inform him that the whole group has assembled at the front door, carrying a protesting Peter on their shoulders, throwing him into the air with shouts of Happy Birthday, Spiderman. The ease of the whole scene makes something in Tony´s chest ache with longing. He takes a last look into the mirror, draws a deep breath, and opens the door.

“Look who´s here! Underoos, isn´t it past your bedtime? You´re what, 14 years old now?”

The world presents itself through a haze, making it feel like he´s watching everything on a movie screen. He hugs Rhodey a few seconds longer than usual, prompting the older man to examine him with dark, concerned eyes.

“You okay, dude? You look...worn out.”

But if there´s something that Tony Stark has become an expert at, maybe even more so than at contriving genius inventions or saving the world, it´s pretending to be alright when he´s not. He´s made it through months of Palladium poisoning, so a touch of fever and anxiety feel like a walk in the park.

“I´m great, Rhodes,” he grins, “Whaddaya say, wanna try some cobweb brownies? Took me ages to find a shop that bakes them in this shape out of the Halloween season...”

He makes his way through the evening alright, joking, catching up, and avoiding anyone who might notice his sweating and the constant jittering of his hands, which means Nat, basically. She´s been watching him closely all the time, and he has no doubt that she has realized something´s off, just as she did when he was dying a few years ago. She doesn´t say anything, though, and neither does he.

The giant cake arrives, and Bruce recounts elaborately how he managed to convince Clint not to prank Peter by hiding a bunch of real spiders inside of it, and Tony laughs and claps his way through it all, smiling at the kid whenever he catches his eye. Pete looks so happy, and he deserves it. But Tony doesn´t. He hasn´t earned himself the right to be part of anything so good or pure. The piece of cake that´s forced into his hands nearly makes him gag.

Finally, most of the group settles on the various couches for a movie. The inevitable Star Trek versus Star Wars argument commences, and Tony zones out, exhausted, slightly nauseated, thinking how he only has to last a few more hours before he can drown himself in scotch and Heavy Metal. But then Peter elbows him back into the present, and there´s a black hole on the screen that´s swallowing a spaceship, and suddenly it all comes back at him without a warning.

He barely has time to bolt to the toilet before the cake comes up together with the memories. He feels disgusted at himself when a thick stream of vomit hits the bowl, but he can´t stop retching. He´s long past empty when dry heaves are still tearing him apart, making his whole body scream in pain.

The wormhole closes in from all sides and pulls him down, deeper than he ever was. He´s retching, then shivering, then hyperventilating, and then he feels like he is dying. And what scares him most is that he can´t bring himself to really mind it anymore. He rests his aching head on the rim of the toilet, finally succumbing to the horror film that´s playing in his mind.

----------

Steve has been having an unexpectedly good time. The restriction on hard alcohol that even Tony had agreed to because of Peter´s age means that the conversations are actually making sense even a few hours into the party. Peter´s constant happy chatter keeps everyone engaged, and whoever prepared the food has absolutely outdone themselves.

He doesn´t really catch the reason for everyone getting worked up about which of the sheer infinite list of silly alien-battle movies to play, nor the fun they seem to draw from watching things being blown up in outer space. But he goes along with the general mood and relaxes as good as he can. They are a twenty minutes into the movie when he feels the urge to use the bathroom and excuses himself.

When he opens the door to the floor´s common restroom, he is greeted by the sound of violent retching carrying over from one of the stalls.

“Hello?” he calls out hesitantly. “Do you need help?”

The answer is silence, and then what sounds like a suppressed sob. Steve is just about to leave - there are a few people at the party whom he doesn´t know closely, after all, and he doesn´t want to disturb - when the door of the stall opens. The man who staggers out, pale, trembling and wiping sick from his mouth, is the last he´d expected to see in such a state.

"Tony, what...?" is all he can say.

"I´m okay, Cap, just..." he trails off breathlessly and stumbles, apparently caught in a dizzy spell.

"Whoa, whoa, easy." Steve motions to hold the other man up when he sways on his feet.

"I´m okay, I´m okay, " Tony seems to say more to himself than to Steve, batting his hands away and leaning heavily against the basin.

“What happened, Tony? Did you drink?” Steve asks, trying not to sound disappointed.

“Always assuming the worst, Rogers, aren´t we?” he coughs. It´s meant to come out lightly, but Steve can hear the bitterness swinging along. “No, even I wouldn´t pull that one on the kid´s birthday.”

“Sorry...” Steve says. “But in my defense, your records aren´t exactly the best.”

“Just leave me alone, Cap.” Tony rebuts, sounding tired.

Steve examines his teammate´s appearance, and he is taken aback by how worn down Tony looks, almost old. He seems to be having trouble taking even breaths, and there´s an expression on his face that Steve would call afraid if he didn´t know better. Tony Stark might be a showman more times than not, but from all Steve knows, he is certainly not someone to be scared of things. Rather, what causes trouble is usually his lack of fear and respect in situations where such feelings would be appropriate.

But still, Tony looks...haunted. It reminds Steve of Bucky on his worst days. And then it dawns on him.

“Tony, I don´t want to interfere- ”

“Then don´t.”

“Did you have an anxiety attack? PTSD, flashbacks, something like that?”

Tony gives him an exasperated look. “Rogers, I´m serious, just do what you came here to do and then get lost.” He swallows hard, apparently fighting the nausea. “Okay, that came out rude, but what I´m trying to say is that it´s not the first time this happens. I can deal with it. Alone.”

For a moment Steve imagines Tony in the tower all by himself, shivering his way through panic attacks, and something pulls in his chest. He has heard of the break-up with Pepper, and he also knew about the PTSD, but he´d never had any idea that it gets this bad with Tony.

Still, the man is right, it´s better to leave if he is not wanted, and hovering will most likely only make things worse for Tony.

“Okay.”, he finally says. “But I´m here if you need...someone to talk, you know. Not only me, the whole team is there for you.”

There´s no conviction in his eyes when Tony fakes a smile. “Sure, capsicle. I know.”

----------

The party continues till late into the night. Cleaning up, which Steve commits to despite Tony´s insistence that he´s got robots to take care of it, takes even longer. By the time he is finished, most of the guests have either left or gone to sleep, so Steve decides to stay over as well. But once he is lying in his giant guest room´s ultrasoft twin bed, covered in smooth sheets of silk, he is entirely too comfortable to be comfortable.

When sleep doesn´t come, he starts walking the halls, searching for someone else who is still up. Most of the Avengers have trouble sleeping for one reason or another, and it wouldn´t be the first night he has run into Bruce killing time in front of the TV, Clint hitting the gym at 2 in the morning, or Nat just sitting in the darkness, silent, unmoving, practicing invisibility. 

He isn´t disappointed, but the sounds he hears when he enters the common area are not what he´d hoped for. Ragged breaths and curses carry over from the direction of the bar. Steve nearly steps into a heap of large ceramic shards lying on the ground, spotted with dots of blood. They appear to be remains of a mug that has the Iron Man mask plastered on it. Steve recalls seeing Tony gulping coffee from it several times, and he briefly wonders whether it was a gift from Pepper, but then discards the thought, bending to pick up the sherds.

“I was gonna trash it. But it just...broke”, a toneless voice mutters from behind the counter.

Tony is slumped on the ground, the bar barely holding him upright. He looks so much worse than earlier that Steve wonders for a moment whether he wound up in some sort of time-travel experiment and skipped a few days. His teammate is deathly pale, only his cheeks flushed red, the breathing shallow, sweaty curls plastered against his forehead. His suit jacket and tie are gone, the half-opened shirt is soiled by flecks of vomit and blood from where he must have cut himself on the shards. One of his hands is clutching his chest where the arc reactor used to be, the other crushing a bottle of something high-proof.

"God, Tony...” Steve exhales. The man is a mess. “It´s fine, I can fix the mug.” He knows it´s stupid the moment he says it.

“Doesn´ matter.” Tony slurs, his eyes glistening wet. “I don´t wannit. Won´t make anythin´ right.”

“Okay, okay,” Steve soothes. “Is there - is there anything I can do?”

Tony just shakes his head before lowering it onto his knees. “I don´ need your pity, Rogers.” He takes another swig from the bottle. Steve doesn´t know how to comfort him, but he doesn´t want to leave, either. They sit in silence for a while.

"´s all my fault", Tony mumbles suddenly, less coherent than mere minutes ago. His breathing hitches up. He tries to pull himself up at the counter, failing and losing his balance. Steve is there without thinking, supporting him, but it turns out to be a bad idea. Tony swings a fist at him, his eyes large and glazed over, his whole frame trembling. “Don´t- “ he croaks, “Don´t touch me-”.

“Alright, alright”, Steve mumbles, easing him back to the ground and then taking a step back, not failing to notice the heat radiating from the other man´s body.

“I don´t  wanna - I can´t - no- “ Tony pants, gesticulating into empty space. Steve has no idea where he thinks he is, but he´s sure it´s not here.

“It´s me, Tony,” he says as calm as can manage, “We´re at the tower, remember? Breathe, just breathe, okay?”

“Fuck”, Tony exhales. “It´s just... all going to shit.”

“It´s okay, Tony. You´re running a fever, it´s messing with your senses. Whatever you think you are seeing, it´s not real.” Steve slowly moves into his direction, empty palms raised in front of him. “Let´s get you to bed and- ”

“The fever´s not the problem, Rogers!” Tony yells in a hoarse voice, and Steve is shaken by how desperate he sounds. “You don´t understand, you, you don´t know what´s going on in my head  - what´s happening  - you can´t get -” he breaks off, gasping for breath. The look on his face is pure terror. “It´s not getting any better. I´m - I´m losing this one, Steve. Everyone.”

And that´s when he understands that Tony has been broken for a long, long time. Steve has been to war, he has had his fair share of trauma to deal with in the aftermath - but it was never like this. He has come to terms with his conscience. Whereas Tony... Steve used to think that tech and sarcasm are all there is to the man, that all his reckless, death-provoking actions are simply evidence of how he fails to take anything about life serious. But now it dawns on him that this was just Tony´s way of keeping himself from falling apart. Steve wonders how a person can talk so much about himself and yet reveal so little.

He doesn´t know what to say. And it doesn´t matter, because he is not the one needed here.

“Does Pepper know?” he finally asks.

Tony is sunken together, looking like a shadow of himself, but his eyes focus on Steve, and his ashen face seems a little more lucid.

“Not...not all of it.”

He attempts to collect himself and fails. When he looks at Steve, his mask has nearly fallen, and he is an inch from pleading.

“Cap, please, just don´t try to help in that.” He takes a shallow breath, then another, and swallows frantically. “This is my mess, my fault, and trust me, you don´t wanna be pulled into it. I´m - I´m gonna get it under control, somehow.”

He reaches for the bottle, misses it. He doesn´t try again, and that´s how Steve knows his words were empty. Because Iron Man wouldn´t give up, ever.

He takes a decision.

“Just let me get you to bed, at least.” It´s not a question. Steve pulls the other man up and frowns when he realizes that Tony has lost weight, a lot of it. The shirt dangles lose around his body.

They stop at a trash can halfway through the corridor for Tony to heave up bile and what smells like pure alcohol. He´s barely conscious anymore when Steve positions him into bed and drags a blanket over his trembling form. Once Tony has fallen into a fitful, feverish sleep, the lines of exhaustion and pain never leaving his face, Steve sets water and aspirin on the bedside table and quietly leaves the room.

He pulls out his phone. Tony is going to hate him for that, maybe forever. But if there is something Steve Rogers has become good at doing, it´s taking hard choices. Most of them were of the kind that would haunt him for the rest of his life, but if he had do, he´d take them all over again.

The phone rings two, three times. It´s late, the night already melting into morning, but he knows that she will pick up eventually, as clear as he knows that she will help.

Pepper doesn´t sound sleepy when she answers the call.

“It´s Steve”, he states, preparing himself to speak the words Tony could never say. “We need to talk.”

part 2

[camphaven-rp]

Welcome to Camp Haven, ZHANG “BAMBI” FEN!

CAMPER INFORMATION:

Age: 18 Date of Birth: 1 April 2000 Mutation: Skeleton Physiology Cabin: Cardinal

MUTATION INFORMATION:

he can turn into a complete skeleton form, lacking all phsyical weaknesses that a human would deal with, as well as the inability to feel any physical senses ( e.g pain, temperature etc. ) and he cannot be harmed. however, that is only in the skeleton form, and because of this the form can be used as a way of healing because it will repair the skin; but he must change form fully which is a lot of effort.

his partial shifting takes the form of mostly just his face/neck, and hands shifting to a more skeletal form, but not completely. it’s hard to describe, so the best way to describe it would be her this. there are no abilities associated with this specific ability, only that it is more an intimidation tactic, and it isn’t hard for him to do, it’s not as hard to shed the skin, or as painful - the only flaw is that he can’t control it and it’s the skeleton inside him that usually makes him do it.

it’s almost like another personality, another adaption of his power being apathy ability in which he has the ability to suppress his emotions until he is no longer feeling anything. this removes feelings of guilt, remorse and moral rights. the thing with this though is that bambi and the skeleton are like two different people, and the skeleton is the apathetic one that forces him to feel nothing or tries to take over and turn him into the skeleton and bambi has a hard time trying to suppress him; basically like his ability is trying to control him.

he cannot maintain the skeletal form for lengthy amounts of time, and the longest that he can keep it up is roughly five or six hours total. at first, he could only keep it up an hour or so, but over the years since it’s development it’s been getting longer. so he can keep it up to that length, however exceeding it usually causes him to pass out before he has even thought about shifting back.

a little linked to the point above, shifting back is not a quick process as it does involve his muscles, organs, skin, everything, regrowing and reforming, and the process is not quick and cannot be sped up. if his energy isn’t depleted, it can take an hour ( but it’s rare for that), but more often than not it can take anywhere between five to ten hours. more often than not he will be unconscious for this process. whenever his energy is completely spent though, it can take longer then ten hours to let himself go back to normal - and the process is extremely painful, as is shifting into a skeleton too.

ICEBREAKERS:

1. What color are you? How does this color make you feel?

“my uh.. my colour?“ bambi shouldn’t have had to wrack his mind for an answer to something so simple and light, but.. he had a tendency to panic and overthink things far too often, just like right now. and it really was a difference from his persona behind a camera when he was recording videos for his youtube channel ( at least on there he appeared a lot more confident ). “yellow.. i think? because it’s bright and i try to be bright– i want to be bright.. and it’s just a happy colour. the skeleton wants to say black– but i don’t like that.“

2. Sunrise, daylight, twilight, or night? Why?

“sunrise,“ he nodded, not needing to think so hard on this one. “because it’s the start of a new day, and it’s the time i think the sun looks the nicest too. it’s.. a calm time, and i always seem to be up at that time,“ bambi shrugged a little then, though there was a soft sort of smile on his face too. usually he was either awake all night enough to see it, or he woke up just before it. but he’d always had an affinity with the sun rising, like it was welcoming him back to the day and that maybe this one would be a little easier than the last.

3. What quote do you think best describes your life?

now quotes, bambi wasn’t the best at, so there was a mome of silence as he tried to think one up on the spot. “i think, ‘and even without reason to continue, we never gave up’, sticks out to me the most. it sounds sad and unfortunate, but i think i can say i’ve been through a lot and overcome a lot for it to be true. i’ve felt a lot of things, and i’ve seen a lot of things.. but i’ve always tried my best to keep going. even now.” though talking in that way made him a little more emotional than he’d meant, which he really didn’t want right now considering he was meeting so many people for the first time and.. would they think he was weak for this? he knew the voice in the back of his head was telling him that.

4. Describe your favorite material object that you already own.

“my camera– that counts.. right?“ bambi blinked, trying to make sure he understood the question right because sometimes things got messed up in translation for him. he might be fluent in the language, but bambi knew a lot of them so it was easy to say he confused words sometimes. “it’s my favourite because i can both capture moments on it, but share them with others too.“

5. If you were stranded on a desert island, what three items would you want to have with you?

“this is.. this is one of those generic questions, isn’t it?“ bambi couldn’t help but comment with a small sort of quiet laugh. “but um, my camera again, a flashlight and a boat.. a boat’s still an object right– like a little rowing boat? i might not make it far but the boy on game of thrones did, so i should too, right? i’m pretty sure he was rowing for a really long time so i’m sure i could make my way out of it. mhm.. oh.. do paddles count as an object on their own then too?“ bambi rattled off a little, kind of forgetting the actual question really as well as he let his voice trail off with a slight pout appearing on his features.

6. What is the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you that you’re willing to share?

bambi bit his lip, ears and cheeks already turning a little red when he thought of the memory of it that he’d seen far too many times now too. “i uh, think a lot of people have actually seen it if they’ve seen my videos– but i left my camera on during a stream once and i started singing a made up birthday song to my gecko.. and now the video doesn’t leave me along because once it’s on the internet, it’ll never go away.” he sighed, but it was a more amused and pathetic sort of sigh, the pout still present. “i’ve had a few situations with my mutation too.. i’ve um, lost my clothes before– b-but.. i’m not gonna keep going on that one..”

[bluesakura007]

Undeniable - Epilogue (Happy Ending): Take My Hand and Run With Me - Khan Noonien Singh x OC

Summary: Zin’s plan has succeeded, and now all that’s left to do before she and Khan leave Earth for their exile together is to make the goodbyes to her family and crewmates.

Warning: None, just fluff again.~ 🖤

After this fateful day of the positive outcome ultimately being chosen in that courtroom, and after the reconciliation between Zinalya and Bones and Spock, which ended the feud between her and this pair, she’d promptly entered into her bedroom and joined Khan in her bed. 

When she did, she couldn't stop herself from shuffling across the mattress in the dark towards where he was sleeping, his boots and shirt currently off. The only way she could tell that she'd reached her destination during this shuffling was when she suddenly felt the front of one of his shoulders touch up against her. 

Just as she'd closed her eyes, though, she was surprised when she felt, still not being aware of it visually due to this aforementioned darkness, the arm connected to this shoulder of his reaching up and gently putting his hand onto her shoulder; obviously either this moment where she bumped into his shoulder woke him up or he was already at least partially awake to do this. She was all too happy to reach up with one of her own forearms and hold this one of Khan's that was holding her shoulder, drifting off in bliss.

She was lying in bed with the man who she wanted to, and was going to, essentially run away with - a man who reciprocated these affections and wanted to be with her in return - and the most difficult part of that plan was now finally over. Her worries, similar to what she and this same man were going to be doing, could now sail off into the sunset.

Khan, remembering that it was this woman he was lying with who had been responsible for bringing about this outcome for the both of them, gently whispered in her ear the words, "Thank you."

Then there came the warm shivers on her spine again.

Following this night of sharing a bed together, Zinalya’s exhilaration in this kind of presence of Khan’s didn’t falter. With him still under her guard, and attracting many glares and fearful glances from passers-by as they did so which they both ignored, the pair travelled on their way to Canada - specifically, on their way to her parents’ home. 

The anger and intense disdain from these aforementioned glares they got was very palpable, and at points threatened to make them want to stop their journey and hide away in a corner somewhere, but the nature around them which caught their eyes proved to be a good enough distraction, including when Khan saw, just for a few moments, a ruby-throated hummingbird fluttering near to a flower a few feet away. And who could blame him? Hummingbirds are some of the most beautiful birds to exist on Earth, and yet they were simultaneously so small and quaint.

Then their arrival came, after which Zin's father, mother, older brothers Enaar and Rajen Hamilton and Enaar’s wife Leah - these latter three having also gotten there after finding out about Zin’s own impending arrival - all listened patiently without uttering a word as, sat next to each other on the lounge sofa, she and Khan gave the same origins explanation that he himself had given her two days ago. However, this time he didn’t go quite so deeply into the details: when he went over this particular segment of his childhood, Tanvir’s death was still painful to him, so he preferred to not go over it often if he could avoid it.

"Answer me one last thing, Khan." Mason leaned forwards from the seat he was sitting on. He and his wife were sitting next to their two sons and their daughter in law, opposite from their youngest child and the man who was now her lover. "Is Zinalya safe with you? Will she be alright when she goes to this exile planet?" 

The father of the Hamilton siblings had spent the last few minutes during the explanation weighing up the Augment in his mind, as he would always love all three of his children and as a result of this love he wanted them to be happy, which is why he accepted Zin's choice, but he had to be sure of this question he'd just put forward.

Khan then looked straight back into his eyes without blinking once, to ensure that the honesty in what he was about to say in reply would be doubly clear. "Your daughter will always be safe with me, Mr. Hamilton."

The pair stuck around for another two days so that Zinalya could make her goodbyes to her parents, siblings and sister-in-law and spend these two days with them. There were many heartfelt words of goodbyes shared with the aforementioned family. Mason, Siazru, Enaar, Leah, Rajen... she wasn't going to be able to see any of them again for the next ten years, so as you would have imagined this was a particularly crucial goodbye, and, as you also would’ve imagined, tears were shed.

Then, once the adequately repaired Enterprise had departed for Ceti Alpha V, the same rule of Zin effectively being a babysitter making sure Khan kept himself out of trouble was applied to a different environment. As with back on Earth during the journey to Manitoba, some of the crew gave stares that ranged from confusion at her attraction to him to disgust, but, also as with this journey to her childhood home, neither of them were bothered about these stares.

Mind you, Khan did sometimes, whenever he saw them being given, return with his own unnervingly frosty and unblinking glare, but this was the only thing that happened. A large majority of his time during the trek to what would be their new home was spent in Zinalya’s quarters, where he would predominantly occupy himself with either reading or daydreaming. His mind was a vast cathedral, and during these moments when he did the latter, he found that it was one which he could almost tangibly walk through and explore; a place lined with huge gleaming stained glass windows and containing countless passageways and halls. Khan had never really been a religious man, so the fact that this place in his mind could be described as a cathedral was something that he found unusual, but nonetheless, mentally taking this journey to said mind basilica always calmed him, even if just slightly.

"You’d damn well better not hurt her." Jim’s tone of voice while addressing this Augment four days later wasn’t particularly aggressive or vicious, but was nevertheless authoritative and, instead of it being out of anger, this command was spoken out of concern for his now former security chief and crewmate’s well-being.

"Oh how could I refuse such an order, captain?" Responded Khan, also not maliciously and instead with satire. He and Zinalya were standing on the Enterprise’s transporter pad, both carrying a duffel bag each that contained water, basic provisions and some clean clothes, after, a few minutes beforehand, she’d once again shared heartfelt goodbyes. 

This time it was with Scotty, Pavel, Uhura, Spock, Carol, Sulu, Kirk and Bones, all of which involving hugs, and now that she was about to complete the process of leaving behind her life in Starfleet, she’d additionally taken off the red operations division overshirt of her uniform dress, so now all that remained was its black layer underneath - this all-black colouring of her getup made her current appearance bear a small similarity to the man next to her.

"I... guess I’ll be seeing you round, sir." Stuck for how else he’d current emotions could be put into words, she chose these ones as she also suddenly found the inescapable weight on her chest at leaving her friends growing again.

Kirk smiled, him, Bones and Spock all experiencing this same growing weight but simultaneously being happy for the fact that this was all a decision she’d made without any coercion from Khan. "See you round, Zin."

"Perhaps we shall meet one another again at some point, even though we may not know when that point will be." Said Spock.

"Then that way if he stood ya up in the end we’ll get a chance to find out and do something about it." Added the CMO jokingly, earning a stare from the man in the black clothing and matching jet black hair. "I’m just kidding. But seriously, yeah: it’ll be great to see you again someday." His own smile that then emerged mirrored the captain’s, and Spock’s own was a tiny little upwards curl, more unnoticeable but still a virtue of his human half.

Zinalya nodded her head, her own mouth melting into the same warm expression. "I’d like that too."

Ceti Alpha V’s climate, from what the pair had gathered during the last few minutes, seemed to be a mild one. It was neither freezing cold nor blazing hot, or even leaning slightly towards either of these two temperature sides. It was just... ordinary, but they realised that this might be a time-specific climate and that it’ll get hotter or colder later, as this was an unfamiliar planet which therefore had unfamiliar weather seasons. 

However, all that mattered now was that the temperature and weather at this present moment were good and that it was now well and truly over. Both Zinalya and Khan were free to be together in their exile sentences on this world, and now that, as mentioned above, the events of this story were over and they’d actually reached their destination, they felt a new and previously unknown kind of undeniable bliss coursing through their veins, in their minds and hearts.

She’d spent a couple of these last few minutes gazing out at a flat area of land, a valley, to be precise, over a grassy hill which, like the aforementioned current temperature in the air, was neither what you’d call too high nor too low. Most of the valley’s ground seemed to be dusty and rocky, but there were grassy and viable crop-growing regions for the rest, all decorated with what appeared to be a stream stretching through one part of the valley.

"I think I’ve found a good place for us to set up!" Yelled out Zinalya, running back down the hill and towards where she and Khan had been beamed down to along with the seventy-two cryotubes containing his Augment companions. A few seconds before she’d left to go up the hill and take a look at the surrounding terrain, he’d told her that he was attempting to unfreeze and revive one of these seventy-two companions, although she hadn’t found out any more specific details such as their name or what they looked like, so when she finally reached this beam site again, she was mildly surprised when she saw another person standing and conversing with him. This other person seemed to be a woman, whose long ebony hair stretched down elegantly behind her back and whose eye colour was brown. She had a light brown skin tone and the way she carried herself gave off an elegance that applied to her entirety and not just her hair.

"You must be Miss Hamilton." Her voice, which was smooth and amicable not too unlike the chirp of a hummingbird, contained an Indian accent.

"Yeah, that’s right. I guess that means Khan just told you about me?"

"He did; he said you’re the one who was responsible for getting us here." The woman nodded her head and smiled sweetly, and while this exchange was taking place, she seemed to be leaning slightly against the side of the now open cryotube that he’d defrosted, most likely because of the initial grogginess from being awoken. "I’m Kati." She fully turned towards Zin and extended her right hand.

"Good to be meeting you." The half Trill replied in the same amicable manner, shaking Kati’s right hand with her own. "I’ve gotta say, you’re being a lot more friendly with me so far than I thought you were going to be."

The female Augment chuckled. "Well, from what I understand you were the kindest to Khan while I was still sleeping, and since then you still haven’t done anything that’s put any of us in danger, so you seem nice and friendly yourself. I thought I might as well treat you as such."

"We can’t make any promises regarding Joaquin’s own tolerance, however." This male one himself said. "He was what you might regard as the hothead in our group, and he doesn’t trust outsiders easily. But I’m certain that sooner or later he’ll learn to open himself up to you."

"So, shall we wake up the others?" Said Kati.

"Yeah, lets get to it." Zinalya nodded.

"I agree. You also said you’d found a place for us to establish our settlement?"

"It’s just over these hills. There’s a river and grasslands and everything."

He turned to Kati. "Your thoughts?"

"It sounds good enough to me."

"Very well then." He walked over to one of the other tubes, all of them sitting next to supply crates which the Enterprise crew - this ship having left again by now - had sent down in addition to help with the initial setup of their lives on this planet. His fingers went up to the circular keypad on the top of this particular tube and began to initiate the same process as he’d done with that of the black-haired woman.

"I’m just going up to have a look for myself at this place you found, I’ll be back in a minute." Said black-haired woman spoke to Zinalya again before setting off in the same direction the latter had come down from. This one whose own hair was burgundy went to stand next to Khan, looking down through the cryotube’s glass at the masculine face inside which gave off a hint of authoritativeness despite the eyes, the windows to the soul, being closed.

"This is Joaquin." The man with the porcelain skin told her when he noticed her looking down through the glass.

"Can you show me how to wake them up?" She looked back at this conscious one who’d just spoken. "You know, so that when Kati gets back it’ll all be done quicker with three pairs of hands?"

"Of course." The smile that appeared on Khan’s face as he gave this answer wasn’t that big but was soft and beautiful even so, the sight of this causing the same reaction on Zinalya’s. He then started to demonstrate the defrosting process on the keypad for her, going about it a little bit more slowly this time to make it easier for her to see every step, and she watched carefully.

[fandomlife-giver]

Sweet Rain

Summary: Anon request - Could I request... maybe Sebastian and/or Ciel with a s/o that loves rain. Like, if they're ever caught in a light drizzle or just rain in general they'll just have the biggest smile? And they'll watch it rain from inside when it gets too heavy and they were forced to come inside cuz they might get sick and just!! Rain!!

Pairing: Ciel x Reader

Warnings: Well Ciel is like an adult in here or like 18, just not a kid basically.

Word Count: 1933

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You awoke to soft sheets, and the morning light trickled in through the blinds. Shedding yourself of the remaining glimpses of a dream, your eyes were still shut as you soaked in the warmth of your covers before letting your e/c eyes open.

In the darkness of your shared room, your eyelids slid open and your mind's first thought was if it was early in the morning.

It's not early as I suspected.

Rubbing the remaining sleep from your eyes, you rolled over to wrap your arms around your partner, but as you rolled, you felt yourself lay flat against the sheets. After patting the spot a few times, you had to lift your head to realize your fiance was gone.

You couldn't help but frown in disappointment as realization hit you.

Of course he's already up. Sebastian probably woke him hours ago.

With a frustrated sigh, you sat up and swung your legs off the bed and your feet made contact with the cool floor. Your shoulders relaxed at the contact. And after taking a deep breath, you stood up and dragged your feet over to the wardrobe.

Usually, Mey-Rin would come in and try to dress you. She would usually succeed, but you really preferred to do it yourself. Because unlike any other mistress of an Earl, you did not grow up in nobility. There was actually a time when you served him as a maid, because your mother was one.

You were still asking yourself how you ended up being his future wife, even as you opened the wardrobe doors and searched through it for a day dress.

*Knock* *Knock*

"My lady? Are you awake yet?"

Your hands froze as you pulled it off the hanger.

"Uh...no."

You mentally groaned when Mey-Rin opened the door and once she saw what you were doing, her eyes widened behind her cracked glasses and she hurried over.

"Lady Y/N, you should call for me when you wake up!"

Your shoulders drooped as she snatched the dress of your choosing from your hands and politely asked you to raise your arms up.

Being the nice person you were, you complied. And after a good 20 minutes of uncomfortable pain, you were dressed, looking as lovely as a mistress was supposed to be.

"There. Will that be all, my Lady?"

You paused mid-nod and glanced at her.

"Mey-Rin, are you doing anything? Knowing Ciel, he'll probably be in that office of his all day. I would love some company."

She gave a polite, wavering smile.

"I'm so sorry, my Lady. I do have my duties I still need to complete or Sebastian will get upset again."

Smiling to hide your feelings, you nodded.

"I understand. Then yes, that will be all."

With a quick bow of the head, she scurried out of the room and your smile fell.

. . .

"Hey, Bard."

Shooting up with a flamethrower in hand, his head snapped to where you stood in the doorway, raising a curious eyebrow as his goggles fell on his eyes. He cursed as he puled them out of the way.

"Oh, morning, my Lady."

"Um, what were you doing just now?"

He scratched his head and glanced down at the ground.

"Well, uh..."

"Yes, I would like to know as well."

You jumped at the sudden voice and turned, realizing Sebastian was now standing beside you with a hard look towards Bard. Who, went white at the sight of him.

"S-Sebastian! I wasn't doin' anything!"

His eyes narrowed before he turned to you and smiled softly.

"My Lady, my apologies, but Baldroy and I need to have a private conversation. If you would please wait for me in the billiard room, I'll bring you some tea for the inconvenience."

You felt your insides twist.

"Oh. Okay."

. . .

You kept your head down as you walked to the billiard room. But you glanced up as Finny came running down the hall towards you and a smile formed.

"Finny!"

He didn't seem to have noticed you and stopped once you called him.

"L-Lady Y/N!"

"Can you keep me company? Everyone else is-"

"Finny, where have you been?"

Spinning around, you came faced with the man that made you smile.

"Cie-"

"Y/N, dear, can you please stop bothering Finny? He does have a job to do, unlike you anymore."

And this time, the smile he made appear on your face didn't. Instead, your lips pressed firmly together as you held back the sadness his words caused.

"I'm very sorry to have disturbed you both. I'll just...entertain myself."

And without another word, you turned back and walked into the billiard room before shutting the door. It was beginning to be too much for you.

Along with maintaining a perfect profile, attempting to keep any sort of social life, the occasional kidnapping, and keeping that romantic spark lit; it was safe to say you felt as if your life was drowning. As if trying to keep your head above water when the tide was still only shallow was a real burden not only on yourself, but everyone else.

You reached up to take off the necklace around your neck that Ciel had given you to celebrate your engagement and threw it on the table. Then leaning forward, you picked up a book that was resting in a spot in the bookshelf.

And as you were about to open it up, the sound of thunder crackling filled your ears and it made a tiny smile form.

You loved rain. Everything about rain. The tranquility as sheets of precipitation plummeted to the water-forsaken ground, the often unanticipated flashes of lightning or the rolls of ominous thunder. You loved it all.

As you turned your head to the window behind you, you saw outside was an unexpected gift of rain. The wet season didn't generally start for another fortnight but the skies didn't lie. It wasn't a mean rain either, the type that got everyone wet without filling the rain barrels. It was the type that got the streams running with pristine water from the mountains.

The water droplets fell like they simply cannot think of anything better to do. There was a laziness about them, as if they can barely be bothered to conform to the will of gravity. When you held your bare arm out of the manor window the droplets splattered on your outstretched fingers. You tilted your fingers upwards and watched the remnants of the drops run downwards like tiny rivers. With a half smile, you retreated leaving the window open, that way you could hear the steady drumming all the louder while you turned age worn pages of long forgotten books.

But...the more you felt the rain on your skin, the more disinterested reading became. And before you could think twice, you jumped up from your gloomy spot and practically ran out the room. And normally, whenever it rained you would pull Ciel outside with you but his words still echoed in your mind so that didn't happen.

. . .

You stood on the doorstep, your arms folded around yourself in the best hug you could have without Ciel being there. After such a dry summer it was all you could do to stop yourself from dancing barefoot outside while the drops plastered your hair to your face. And then a thought crossed your mind.

Why don't I?

And that half smile stretched as you kicked off your shoes, let down your hair from it's fancy bun and stepped onto the wet grass in front of the manor. That was all it took to make a huge smile spread on your kips and before you could doubt your actions, you went of sprinting through the grass, twirling around in the ecstasy of the rain.

And somehow, mother nature made you feel the happiest you've been since you became a Lady. You never really felt like you belonged in the position you were in and today felt like proof.

Unfortunately, that happiness didn't last long.  Although the feeling of the rain was good, the cold was beginning to get to you, even though you tried to ignore it. You began holding yourself to stop your arms from shivering. You fell to your knees as they, too, felt freezing.

Maybe I should've thought this out more.

"Y/N! Where are you?!"

You felt hot tears form from your eyes once you hears your name being called.

"Ciel..."

You huddled into yourself until you could hear his footsteps on the grass, until his arms wrapped around you.

"Y/N, what are you doing out here? You can catch a cold."

"There she is!"

"The master found her!"

"Oh my goodness, my Lady, are you all right?!"

He snickered as he glanced back at the servants.

"She's fine. Give her some space."

Your lips trembled as he took off his coat and wrapped it around you.

"I just didn't want to bother anyone anymore..."

They all tensed up when you said that and guilt was present in their faces. Ciel's was unreadable, as usual, until he reached his arms under your legs and picked you up bridal style. He paused to look at Sebastian.

"Bring her something to warm her up."

He placed a hand over his heart.

"As you wish, my Lord."

"We'll be in our room, no one disturb us."

They all bowed their heads.

"Yes, master."

Your grip tightened on his now soaking wet shirt and you buried your head in his chest to hide your humiliation.

. . .

The second he opened the door, he slammed it shut with his foot and gently placed you on the bed.

"Ciel, I-"

"Shh"

He didn't even give you time to speak as he pushed you down on it and climbed in after. You didn't know what he was thinking, so your cheeks flushed as your imagination went wild. But those thoughts left as he pulled you into his lap and wrapped the covers around the both of you.

"That was an idiotic move, you understand that, don't you?"

"I just-"

"Shh"

He placed a finger on your lips to hush you.

"You know how busy we all are, Y/N. And I expect you to know how much we all do care for you. You're smart enough to know that I will always make time for you, no matter how busy I am."

You turned your body to face him. And it was when you saw the fresh drops of rain on his face that you realized he was willing to get wet for you.

"And you should know how much I love the rain."

His eyes moved on you and he tilted his head playfully, a small smirk playing on his lips as he put a finger to them.

"Shhh"

Then he leaned forward and rubbed his nose against yours, before grazing your lips with his.

Before the door opened up.

"Master, I brought some tea-"

"Ugh, Sebastian!"

He turned and briefly left your side to yell in Sebastian's face about knocking and it made you giggle. He actually took the tray of tea from him and shut the door on him and you shook your head at him. To your surprise, he didn't come back to you and it made you frown.

Nope, instead, he went to the large window and placed the tea on the table next to the chair that sat beside it. Your lips parted as he opened the window and crossed back over to you. He lifted you up in his arms again to sit you in his lap as you faced the open window.

You turned your head to him as he was still grumbling about Sebastian.

"There. Now you can enjoy this blasted rain without catching hypothermia."

A warm smile graced your face as you leaned forward to capture his lips with yours. Once you pulled away, you caught the brief flash of red on his cheeks.

"Thank you, Ciel."

"....You're welcome."

You both spent the rest of the day watching the thunderstorm, drinking the Earl Grey tea brought to you, curled up beside each other. Yep. The rain always made you happy.