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slasherhaven · 3 years

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Can I request slashers reacting to their s/o surprising them with lingerie?

The Slashers reacting to their S/O surprising them with lingerie:

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas.exe stopped working. When he steps into your shared bedroom, closing the door behind him, he pauses as soon as he sees you.

Where did you even get that from? You’re kneeling on the bed, a smile on your face now that he was here, wearing lingerie that he had never seen before.

He feels like he shouldn’t stare, still worried about getting things wrong like this, no matter how long you have been together. It’s oddly sweet. But he still can’t help but stare just a little, especially when you assure him that it’s alright to do so.

You stand from the bed and walk up to him, taking his hands and placing them on your waist so that he can feel the lace you were wearing.

When you lean up to him and tell him that all of this is for him, he’ll lift you off of the ground, letting you wrap your legs around him as he carries you over to the bed.

He’s always in awe of you, now more than ever. You look so beautiful and he’s so in love with you, still in disbelief that you want him as much as he wants you.

Michael Myers

The last thing Michael expect to find when he got home, was you still awake, waiting for him and dressed in lingerie.

Now, he doesn’t care much for lingerie. He still wants the same result, you naked and letting him have his way with you.

He still has to admit that he likes the way you look in it, and he likes that you have dressed that way specifically for him. Plus...it’s pretty, it compliments you very well, even he can see that.

In the end, that lingerie is going to be ripped off of you and end up on the floor. He really doesn’t care about ruining it, he can be pretty inconsiderate like that, but you’re still in for one hell of a good night.

Jason Voorhees

You’re going to give this man a heart attack.

When he got back to the cabin and you greeted him with a sweet kiss to the mask but so...scantily clad, he wasn’t sure how to react.

You had obviously put some extra effort into looking nice for him and you did look stunning, in fact Jason couldn’t stop starting at you, but this was definitely new.

He’s very sweet about it, and a little curious.

He has no plan to quickly get it off of you, he’s going to admire how it looks on you for a little while longer.

The lace and silk and your skin all feel so soft under his hands, he loves that feeling.

He just loves you and admires your beauty. Even when you’re sitting nearly naked in front of Jason, he manages to be so sweet and tender. Is there anything that could get this man to not treat you like something fragile and precious? Probably not!

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms found your lingerie before you knew about him. He was a creep (still is sometimes) and he knows that. He had been waiting to see you wearing it since he discovered it but daren’t mention that he knew about it.

And then...you did it but so much better than he imagined.

When he came into the room to see you wearing the lacy number he had been fantasising about for so long, he was hard instantly.

He’s handsy and can’t help himself, groping you through the thin material with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Brahms is a huge fan, he absolutely loves it, and will expect this more often now that you’ve shown him it.

Bo Sinclair

You should have known what you were getting yourself into.

When Bo finds you in your shared bedroom, wearing nothing but some sexy lingerie, he was a little surprised. He just hadn’t been expecting it.

However, his surprise his quickly forgotten. In seconds he is smirking and making demands for you to ‘get your ass over here’.

Of course he’s teasing you about how needy you are for his attention, getting all dressed up just for him. Did you really want him to fuck you that bad?

He’ll give you what you want but for purely selfish reasons.

Bo isn’t always...good at complimenting you but you get the idea that he’s a fan pretty quickly.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent freezes as soon as he walked into the bedroom and sees you dressed in delicate lace that just about covered everything that needed covering.

You looked amazing, absolutely beautiful, he was just stunned.

You saunter up to him with a smile on your face, placing your hands on his chest and greeting him sweetly.

He would place his hands on your hips, staring at your body. He would have considered that disrespectful normally but it seemed appropriate in this moment.

Vincent is an artist and you are his muse, so you can bet that he is going to spend plenty of time admiring how you look in this.

Lester Sinclair

Lester loves coming home to you because you always greet him with a hug and a kiss, but he could have never expected this. You greeted him like you usually would, the only difference being what you were wearing.

A simple but delicate looking lingerie set. He had no idea where you had gotten it but it didn’t matter because he was already in love with it.

He feels like the luckiest man on the planet to have a gorgeous partner like you, who would wear something like this for him without even being asked.

“All of this for me?” he’d ask and you’d nod with a smile. “...thank you” he didn’t know what to say but he was grateful. You couldn’t help but giggle before kissing him, he was adorable.

Usually, he really does care much about lingerie, he considers it ‘fancy’, but he definitely loves it right now.

He’s cautious to remove it carefully, he definitely doesn’t want to tear it off of you, he wants you to be able to wear this again.

Bubba Sawyer

He thinks you look so pretty!!!

He might not even see it in a purely sexual way. The ‘outfit’ is cute and pretty and you look fantastic, he can just appreciate that. Though...the revealing nature of the attire does have a near instant effect on his thoughts and body.

You get lots of complimentary babbles and big smiles as his hands explore your body and the new item of clothing.

Of course lace and ribbons are going to put a smile on his face, especially if it’s in a soft colour like pink or light blues.

His hands are eager but not rough at all, he’s not all that interested in ripping it off of you or anything, he’s just a tad over excited by how you look.

You’re going to have to take the lead, he doesn’t even know what to do with himself right now. All he knows is that you look incredible and he loves you so much.

Billy Lenz

Billy has seen that you have some lingerie, he’s definitely gone snooping around in your belongings before. He might have even ‘borrowed’ them before.

But when he finally gets to see you wearing it, and with the intention of him seeing it, he’s thrilled.

As soon as he sees you, he’s grinning and ready to pounce on you.

Don’t expect much patience or will-power from him, he just needs to be touching you now. He can’t resist you like this!

He is overly eager (which isn’t that uncommon anyway) and you’re not going to be able to reel him in much, but this is like a treat for him so it’s okay.

He just can’t get enough of touching you, rambling his dirty thoughts without restraint, confessing his ‘history’ with the garment and how he was waiting for you to wear it for him.

Asa Emory (The Collector)

His reaction depends on your relationship with him. He might be a little surprised by you taking the initiative and greeting him like this, or he might have even asked you (more like ordered you) to be wearing this particular set when he returns home.

But let’s say he wasn’t expecting it at all and you just decided to surprise him.

Honestly the result will pretty much be the same, his surprise quickly masked with a smirk.

Of course he can’t have you thinking you have any control here, so he’s instantly walking up to you, taking your chin between his thumb and finger, making you look up at him as he comments on how good you are to greet him like this.

Now, are you going to keep being good and do as he says? Very good, now go wait for him in the bedroom.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)

You have a whole collection of lingerie. Even if you didn’t own any before dating Jesse, you do now because he bought you plenty of sets, all of the finest quality of course.

You knew when Jesse was coming home from his most recent ‘business trip’, so you were prepared for his return, having gotten yourself all dressed up in his favourite set of lingerie to greet him.

He came home and you greeted him the way you unusually go, with an embrace and a passionate kiss.

He instantly noticed the thin robe your were wearing, and he got the idea pretty quick.

Jesse just smirked as you untied the robe, dropping it to the floor to show him his favourite lacy lingerie.

In a matter of seconds he’s lifting you off of your feet, having you wrap your legs around his waist as he captures your lips in a kiss and carries you to the bedroom.

He couldn’t have asked for a better ‘welcome home’.

Otis Driftwood

Otis was in a bad mood when he returned to your shared bedroom, but that bad mood was put on hold for a moment when he saw you dressed in pretty lace lingerie.

Well, you certainly had a plan for what would be happening when he got back, and he wasn’t about to argue with you. It definitely lightened his mood just a little.

“You know just how to cheer me the fuck up” Otis smirked, walking up to you and grabbing you, you didn’t even have the time to respond or even smile at him before he was kissing you.

He does love how you look in the lingerie but he doesn’t care so much about ruining it. Feel free to complain and chastise him when he rips it, he doesn’t care, he just assures you that he’ll just get you some more.

He’ll take a second to just stare at your body before tearing the lingerie off of you.

Oh, he was about to take out his bad mood on you, but you were never one to complain about that.

Baby Firefly

As soon as Baby steps into your bedroom to see that you have gotten all dolled up for her, she’s smiling brightly. She loves it!

She just thinks you look so good! And she’s going to tell you that in various ways, plenty of compliments are coming your way.

She’ll grab you by the waist, pulling you closer to her and pressing a kiss to your lips before asking if you did all of this for her. Of course you did, and she knows it.

She tells you that she’s very grateful, you look gorgeous like this, but right now she’s ready to get it off of you and drop it to the floor.

Baby is very honest about how she’ll be waiting for your next little surprise treat.

Yautja (Predator)

This is...new to him. Of course human clothes in general are pretty new to him but he understands that this attire is more ‘scandalous’ than what you would usually wear. It’s new but he’s intelligent, he gets the idea.

He is a fan. He thinks you look wonderful in it and he wants to admire you in it, giving you plenty of compliments.

He also likes the confidence, and that you put this on to seduce him, not that you need to try very hard to do that.

He’s careful with it, especially if you informed him it was pretty expensive or if it looks very delicate. He doesn’t want to accidently tear it and upset you.

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morphinethevaccine · 3 years

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Elliot and Vincent Nightray Relationship Headcanons with a shy s/o

In response to this ask

Part of Elliot’s and the entirety of Vincent’s is under the cut because of length.

Contrary to what one might assume, you don't have to match Elliot's temperament to be his significant other— in fact, it's probably for the better if you don't. One issue this dynamic has, however, is that Elliot possesses a rather dominant personality, and while he won't necessarily steamroll over softer types, he does best with someone who will give him a little pushback when needed. That's not to say there aren't any upsides.

For one, a shy or timid significant other can be beneficial to Elliot's development, as it forces him to be more introspective of his words and actions. Interestingly, things most likely did not start on a positive note.

There's a high chance you both didn't see eye-to-eye during your first few interactions: you most likely felt startled or hurt by some of his behavior, and in turn, Elliot might have found himself confused by your reactions, annoyed considering what it was he did wrong.

So how do two people who aren’t particularly alike end up together? For starters, if there's anything Elliot can't stand, it's a lack of sincerity or people who put on airs. And that's one of the first things he notices he likes about you: the way you aren't vying for attention or trying to be someone you aren't.

The first display of his growing interest starts as offhanded complaints to Leo that you seem fragile and he doesn't know how to deal with you, but further prodding from his companion leads Elliot to admitting that fine: yes he's curious about you, even if he can't quite explain why. From discussing books together in the library, to merely just sitting together in silence, it isn't long before you both realize the interest is pretty mutual.

What does he think of your shyness in particular? It isn't that he's bothered by it, moreso that he recognizes it as a trait that could lead to you being mistreated. Being quiet is one thing— Leo can be a little quiet too, you know, but being shy is another. Leo isn't mousy and has no issues standing up for himself, but you...

The thing is, if Elliot is anything, it's dependable. Though he may chastise you for not being more self sufficient, he's always going to back you up if you need him or if he sees the need to interject himself— even if you're going to get an earful from him afterward. He's never going to not defend you, but he feels better knowing you can stand up for yourself too.

He doesn't care if you’re outgoing or not, but at least once the two of you get close, getting you to behave less timidly is a goal... which probably eventually leads to Leo insisting he should leave you alone and let you be yourself. Elliot will grow to stubbornly accept that maybe it's not such a bad trait, in you at least.

He might be rash and prone to being harsh, even with people he loves, but he's got a conscience, and though it may take time and the swallowing of some pride, he'll always make things right between you in instances where things went badly.

The dynamic you share is, itself, a teachable moment— one in which you both offer the other a perspective they may not inherently see.

Coming to behave more moderately isn't a bad thing for Elliot to master, in addition to a non-confrontational partner making it easier for him to be more open with his thoughts and feelings. Being around someone as passionate and unafraid as Elliot might, in a similar way, influence you to be bolder. Perhaps there's some truth to the saying opposites attract after all.

In many ways, someone who's shy isn't a bad match for Vincent. Though Vincent often filters out his true thoughts to give pleasant conversation, it's not like he’s actually fond of talkative types anyway. An overly chatty person would be pretty quick to put him in mind of behavior he's expressed a clear dislike of.

It’s not hard for him to pick up on your temperament: perhaps it's a ball, and you catch his eye—seeming just a little out of place, maybe not quite as conversational as the rest. If you don’t seem typical, all the better. Vincent isn't particularly normal himself: an outlier or person somewhat different from the expected might just secure some of his interest for the moment.

His intentions likely aren’t the purest when he first approaches you, but with a personality that��s generally sociable, he’ll do just fine bridging any gaps: he'll carry a conversation even if you’re quite reserved, nor is he going to care too strongly if you don’t have much to say.

During the early stages of getting to know each other, your shyness provides him with a clever out if he ever does something that upsets you. Vincent has perfected the ‘smiling gentleman’ act, but the mask does slip every so often, and your introversion means he can more effortlessly insist you merely misread the situation; an excuse he’s not above using.

The longer the both of you are together, the better Vincent becomes at picking up subtle differences in your behavior. He often seems to have a way of figuring things out solely from what you didn't say, meaning even if you're rather quiet, there isn't much of a struggle for him to understand you.

If you have a hesitancy to express yourself or seldom speak your thoughts in conversations, you’ll likely find he has a way of recognizing it. He may even ask, head tilted with a smile, if there’s something more you wanted to say to him.

Vincent is, at his core, often avoidant. It may not seem that way because he does display a range of emotion, but the genuine things that bother him or deeper aspects to his being are rarely close to the surface or willingly displayed.

You not possessing a pushy nature is a benefit here: while he does need someone who's unwavering enough to stick around through some of his more alienating behaviors, it's best if you’re not too forceful.

If your nature includes an uneasiness for physical affection, you likely aren’t going to be too sure if he’s just aloof to some of your discomfort or intentionally doing things to fluster you: a kiss behind your ear, pulling you close when it's not too appropriate, or falling asleep on you by ‘mistake’ (he's going to be more than a little amused if he wakes up to you having been too nervous to move.)

It might be followed by an apology depending on your reaction, but whether it's genuine or not is up for debate.

The fact you’re reserved doesn’t matter much in regards to deeper aspects of the relationship, because persistence is one of the only real keys here— that is, you being someone who won’t be driven away easily. Though he might cycle through some unpleasant emotions, if you pay attention, it's clear some of his behaviors come from a place that shows, even if it's something he internally wrestles with, that he really does care about you.

#Pandora Hearts #pandora hearts x reader #elliot nightray #vincent nightray #elliot nightray x reader #vincent nightray x reader #pandora hearts headcanons #character x reader #ph x reader #headcanons #scenarios #imagines #reader insert #fluff #ph #gender neutral #tuesday

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blackstonesandtrapnest · 4 years

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NANA Characters in Quarantine

I was inspired to write this since I had to go under quarantine earlier this month due to coming in close contact with a co-worker who tested positive for COVID. I returned to work this week and I’m doing just fine! If you wish for me to do this with one of the fandoms on my list, then feel free to request it!

~~Nana Osaki~~

Does NOT handle quarantine well at first. Being unable to sing makes her jittery and cranky! Will literally rant and rave to anyone who listens and she’ll do that for hours!

But once she gets all of the frustration out of her system, Nana will come up with ways to make the best of the lockdown. Surprise, surprise, they’re mostly music based!

Will use this opportunity to come up with new material and has video calls every night with the band to discuss it. They’re not gonna sit around and be lazy when they could be getting creative as far as she’s concerned!

If she’s with her S/O or Ren during the quarantine, then it’ll make things much better for Nana since she’ll have someone always around to talk to and just share company with! Cuddles! Lots of cuddles! Just don’t tell anyone though.

If Nana is alone during lockdown, then her anxiety will definitely spike and she’ll have panic attacks more often. When that happens, she’ll usually call or text someone while using the paper bag method to keep herself calm.

~~Nana Komatsu~~

Is pretty bummed about the lockdown but doesn’t want to complain and prefers to make the best of it instead. Will definitely be talking Nana down and off the ledge when she gets too annoyed.

Decides to make BLAST and Trapnest masks to sell online which become extremely popular much to her delight. Yes the bands approve and yes Hachi is making masks for them!

Is the most likely to gain weight during lockdown. Will look up recipes online and try them out which is the cause of said weight gain. Hachi loves food after all!

You can definitely expect to see Hachi on social media a lot and it’ll be her main way of keeping in contact with her friends and family. Livestreaming and making cooking videos will definitely keep Hachi occupied alongside her mask business!

If Hachi is with her S/O, she’ll definitely be doing many things with them and trying to make them a part of her videos which will be very cute and adorable! Awwwww!

~~Nobu Terashima~~

Takes the lockdown quite well. He’s pretty introverted so being alone and isolated for a while doesn’t affect him as much as others.

Uses the free time to write songs and new material just like Nana and they call every day with new pieces and ideas.

Spends a lot of time on social media and donates to a lot of humanitarian causes, persuading fans of BLAST to do the same which always succeeds.

Will gladly fight anyone who thinks the pandemic is a hoax, is an anti-masker, or just don’t wanna obey guidelines. You’re not gonna get other people sick on Nobu’s watch!

Likes to livestream and play music for his fans whether it be covers or original material. Hachi is one of his mods and his biggest supporter.

~~Shinichi Okazaki~~

The lockdown affects his living as a gigolo (if he still does it by then) so you’re damn right Shin doesn’t like it! He hates being restricted and you can expect long-winded debates between him and Nobu on how the pandemic should be handled.

If Shin has an S/O and is with them during lockdown, they can expect a lot of sex and overall intimacy! No one is surprised if Shin ends up getting said S/O pregnant. If he’s gonna be cooped up in the house for a while, then he could at least get some action out of it!

Is lazy AF during lockdown and isn’t interested in music or social media. In fact, don’t expect to hear from Shin during quarantine at all. Everyone has to initiate contact with him first and yes it pisses them off.

The only way to get Shin to do something productive is if his S/O threatens to cut him off sexually and goes through with it. He’ll do anything to get some WAP! Speaking of which, expect to see Shin dancing to music and expect to hear it playing a lot.

The only social media posts Shin will be making is photos of him and his S/O as well as getting on Nobu’s nerves. Shin gets tons of followers because of his looks but his heart is for his S/O only and he proudly displays that!

~~Yasu Takagi~~

Anticipated the lockdown and went shopping beforehand. He’s always prepared.

With an S/O, Yasu will use this opportunity to get closer to them and have deep conversations that can last for hours. Also lots of cuddles and affection! Yasu’s S/O will definitely be spoiled!

Yasu will be working from home so expect to see him on his laptop a lot. He will be doing video calls frequently with BLAST and upper management at Gaia as well as his law firm if he’s still a lawyer.

Likes to binge-watch YouTube videos and browse on Reddit. He likes to interact with his favorite YouTubers and give advice on Reddit like the kind person he is. Yasu will also donate to humanitarian causes like Nobu does.

Acts as the peacemaker during arguments between Nobu and Shin. Will also calm Nana down if her anxiety flares up. Got any problems? Call Yasu! He’s always available!

~~Ren Honjo~~

Gives no shits about the lockdown and is zen AF. He has to stay inside for a while? Ok!

Is mostly gonna spend the days in bed with his S/O (if they’re with him) and just wants to be close to them. Sleeping is Ren’s best friend!

If Ren is still using drugs, then he’s gonna be unbearable to be around since this means he’ll have to go through withdrawal and will have no way to get the drugs.

Will be unreachable during lockdown if he’s with his S/O. They come first as far as he’s concerned and he wants to make up for lost time with them as much as possible.

Will play music just to brush up on his guitar skills. May join Nobu on one of his livestreams every now and then and play with him as well as chat with fans.

~~Reira Serizawa~~

Has the same reaction as Nana when it comes to the lockdown and has bitching sessions with her about it too. Everyone is annoyed (except Shin) and if anyone tries to interrupt, they get bombarded by Reira and Nana to the point of not being able to get a word in.

Is bored AF and literally doesn’t know what to do with her time. Calls everyone and annoys the hell out of them to the point where they block her number. Reira just wants some company! 🙁

Spends the most time on social media out of everyone and mostly sings songs for her fans. Yes she takes requests and yes she gets a lot of them. Joins Nobu on his livestream whenever Ren is present and provides the vocals for their music. It instantly goes viral as one would expect.

If Reira has an S/O, they can definitely expect her to be clingy and trying to always have their attention. If they’re working from home and have to do video chats, Reira will definitely be in the background and will bring you things if you ask. She may or may not be appropriately dressed.

Loves to listen to other musicians on Spotify and will shout them out and uplift them. If anyone sings a cover of one of Trapnest’s songs, Reira will cry with joy and happiness!

~~Takumi Ichinose~~

Takes the lockdown in stride surprisingly enough. He doesn’t want to risk getting sick nor does he want his bandmates getting sick.

Decides to relax more instead of working which shocks most people. If Takumi has an S/O, he’ll want them to stay with him but if they can’t, he’ll settle for calls and texts.

Sex, sex, and more sex! His S/O will definitely be worn out unless they have a high sex drive and if they get pregnant, Takumi will be happy and expects it to happen unless you use birth control.

Likes to try new challenges and will have a YouTube channel dedicated to that. Such content includes eating a Carolina Reaper pepper, drinking very strong cocktails, and gaming-related challenges. Yes Takumi is a gamer and his rage is legendary.

Does weekly video calls with the band to make sure they’re taking care of themselves and staying safe. No one’s getting sick on his watch!

~~Naoki Fujieda~~

Hates the restrictions and whines about being stuck in the house all day, everyday. He wants to have fun damn it!

Will do anything and everything to keep himself busy and if he has an S/O with him, they’ll be dragged into it too! Naoki doesn’t want you to be bored!

Will do challenges with Takumi and plays video games a lot whether it’s by himself, with his S/O, or with Takumi. His livestreams are a riot and there’s plenty of laughter to be had, especially if Takumi is present.

Likes to upload skits and rants that become quite popular due to how funny and true they are. Also gives advice to people which actually works and makes their lives better.

Always makes sure his appearance is on point and likes to promotes fashion brands, ideas, and trends. Naoki loves beautiful things so expect to see a lot of pics of just that!

~~Junko and Kyosuke~~

Kyosuke takes the lockdown in stride while Junko panics. Junko ends up furloughed (she’s a salesperson) so she worries about finances.

Kyosuke comes up the idea of doing art commissions for money and it becomes a huge success. Junko decides to join in and also makes and sells masks with Hachi.

Their sex life becomes much more active during lockdown and it’s quite noticeable with how relaxed Junko is. Teasing them about this will just make Junko act like a tsundere and Kyosuke act smug.

They network with other artists worldwide and become quite involved, especially in the black community.

Kyosuke watches various livestreams while Junko sticks to services like Netflix and Hulu. Kyosuke is a mod for Hachi’s livestreams and Junko catches up on her favorite shows while live-tweeting with fellow fans of said shows and having discussions.

#nana #nana anime #nana manga #anime headcanons #quarantine #lockdown #pandemic woes #nana osaki #nana komatsu #Nobuo Terashima #Yasushi Takagi #Shinichi Okazaki #Ren Honjo #takumi ichinose #Reira Serizawa #Naoki Fujieda #junko saotome #kyosuke takakura

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osamusriceballs · 3 years

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Regulars - Part IV

Suna x Reader, Atsumu x Reader

Warnings: None

Words: ~ 1,4 k

About: Let’s see what will happen at Sakusa’s party! <3

Part II Part V

“Yer... Yer... stunning.”

Atsumu's jaw drops when he looks at you, your body covered in a flattering mid-length satin black dress, with a deep cleavage that reveals enough skin to be seductive, but is still appropriate for the occasion- or at least that was your intention.

“Are you sure? I really had no idea what to wear. I don't often go to parties like this. Is it okay?” You fidget with the hem of the dress, shyly avoiding his intense gaze. Does he really think you look good, or is he just trying to be nice?

Atsumu’s choice of clothes is immaculate though—he looks like he could be straight out of a fashion magazine. He sports a black suit with a matching tie, his black dress shirt underneath tightly fitting his muscular torso. You’re sure that many girls would kill to see him in that outfit, and he actually looks really handsome in formal clothes. Not that you would tell him; his ego is already big enough.

His face right now is hilarious though—his eyes widened, his mouth still agape while he scans your outfit once again.

“Y/n. You... look like an angel.” His voice is impossibly soft, causing a shiver to run down your spine. He’s very serious about this, judging by his expression- and you feel relived at his reaction.

“My dress is black though. Shouldn’t angels wear white?” You laugh softly and grab your purse.

“Doesn't matter. Yer an angel. My angel tonight.” He states with a confident grin and you flash him a relieved, but also flustered smile. You didn’t miss the way he said his angel. “Okay, well then. Thanks. Let's go.”

Much to your surprise, he offers you his arm, and you hesitantly accept and lock your arm with his. The sweet gesture causes your heart to flutter for a second, the soft fabric of his suit now rubbing against your bare arm when he leads you to his car.

“Let me help ya.” He opens the car door and helps you get inside carefully with your wide dress. Atsumu closes the door after making sure your dress is fully inside and quickly hops into the car as well.

He is excited. You can see it in his wide grin and the way he taps the wheel restlessly with his fingers.

He is happy and excited.

You hum along to the melody of your favorite songs, which makes you wonder if he chose them just for you tonight and put them into his playlist. Atsumu always manages to make you feel at ease, and it's probably due to small things like that. And also due to the fact that he won’t stop complimenting you, sweet words leaving his mouth like a waterfall.

Atsumu is a perfect gentleman. A realization that hits you like a truck. You have never seen this side of him before—he usually treats you like a best friend when you both bicker at Onigiri Miya—but today he is showing you his mature and charming side—and you genuinely enjoy every single second with him.

He doesn't fail to open the car door for you and then the door to the restaurant—heck, ANY door you come across—but he also makes sure to offer you his arm and to never leave your side- perfect boyfriend material surprisingly.

He gently places his hand on your back when he leads you to his colleagues and you can't help but to steal a few glances at him. He is so protective, so soft... Is he only doing this to impress the others? It doesn't help that he is so darn good looking in his suit—it doesn't help to keep the darn butterflies in check.

“Omi-Omi, happy birthday, my friend!” Atsumu puts way too much emphasis on the word friend, indicating that they are probably not friends per se. The raven-haired man in a black tuxedo scrunches his nose—and that is visible even through the dark mask.

He refuses to take Atsumu's hand and only nods in response. “We're not friends, but thank you very much.” His gaze shifts towards you.

“And who is your company tonight? Is she the one you've been bragging about all the time?”

“Yeah. She is my y/n.” Atsumu slightly tightens his grip around your waist when Sakusa looks at you from head to toe. His gaze is intense—it feels like he could see everything, every single detail, every strand of hair, even microscopic germs on you.

But much to your surprise, he offers you his hand and smiles politely- and you immediately suspect that he only does that to piss off Atsumu.

“Atsumu, this is the only time I'm gonna admit that you were right. She is indeed breathtaking. It's my pleasure.” You hesitantly shake his hand, his comment causing your cheeks to heat up—but not as much as Atsumu's comment from before.

MY y/n.

How can he say that so nonchalantly? And there are actually a few things that make you feel like something is going on- and Atsumu is nit being honest with you. You look at Atsumu and then back to Sakusa.

“Tsumu, can we talk for a second? Would you excuse us, Sakusa-san? It was nice to meet you. I wish you a happy birthday too.”

You quickly drag Atsumu with you after that, not noticing the triumphant grin he directed at Sakusa when you turned around, and quickly bring him outside to an empty balcony.

You have a very nice view over the whole city, with illuminations and fairy lights; it does seem like a very romantic place actually—but you are highly confused by his behavior towards you and don't really take in the scenery. Just why does he keep on introducing you in a way that makes everyone think you are in a relationship?

“Tsumu, what have you been telling these people all the time? That we've been dating?” You look at him accusingly, your arms wrapped around your body to protect you from the cool night air. “Is that why everyone has been looking at us in that way and taking pictures?”

His smile drops when he realizes your anger. He quickly comes a step closer and rests a hand on your shoulder. You shiver at the sudden contact of his warm hand against your bare shoulders, but don't pull back.

“No! I mean... yes, maybe. But y/n, I've actually... I've been thinking about you a lot lately. About you and me. And about... if there is an us possible. And I kinda got excited when I thought about inviting you, and when I said I would come with company, I guess everyone just assumed we're together, even though I never explicitly said that. But I also didn't stop them, I'm sorry. I should have been more respectful towards ya—it's just...”

He suddenly leans down to your face, and your breath hitches when he looks directly into your eyes.

“This is not how I planned it, but screw it. I'm gonna say it. Y/n. I like ya." He takes another deep breath, quickly saying his next words, a sudden softness and desperation in his eyes.

"Like, really really like ya. I want to go on dates with ya, I want to hold you like I did today, I want to be by your side. You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen, ya always make me laugh when I feel down, you accept me with all of my flaws—and heck, there are so many. Yer important to me—and I wanna be important to you too. Y/n, can ya—can you—give me a chance?”

He looks deeply into your eyes; you feel like he is staring at your soul, the proximity of his presence causing your nerves to flutter.

Miya Atsumu confessed to you.

Miya Atsumu wants to be in a relationship with you.

Your mouth opens and closes again, unable to form a response.

Atsumu waits a few moments, his tension clearly visible on his face, before he starts to lean in slowly. His movements are controlled, smooth, at a pace that allows you to turn away if you want to—but you can't stop staring at his soft lips, hypnotized, and the thought of what is going to happen sends a shiver down your spine. You close your eyes, the last thing you saw was his handsome face, being only a breath away from yours.

And then you feel his lips on yours. Soft. Sweet. Moving gently, but firmly against yours, inviting you to return the kiss—and you do. You press your lips harder against his, your hands now finding support on his chest, while his hand moves to your neck to deepen the kiss. His hard body presses against yours, your dress slightly raising when you wrap your arms around his shoulders, but you couldn't care less.

Not when he kisses you like you're a princess—his princess, like he loves you, and cherishes you, and wants to give you his everything.

“Y/n?”

A familiar voice causes you to immediately break the kiss and pull back—

only to see Suna at the entrance of the balcony.

He wears a dark suit with a white vest—but what strikes you more is what’s in his hands.

A single white flower.

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #atsumu x reader #suna x reader #atsumu #suna #FINALLY #HOME FROM WORK AHHH #AND I COULD FINISH THIS AHSJDJDJ #i hope you‘ll enjoy this!!#I’ll try to answer some asks #but I’m a bit tired rn #let’s see how long i can stay up 🥺💖#sending you all lots of love though!! 💖

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patandpran · 3 years

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The Taekyung Effect

Summary: A character study from Shinwoo's perspective on how his feelings developed for Taekyung and his internal conflict about whether to reveal his feelings or not.

How could Shinwoo find this awkward, overly blunt and honest, try-hard so hard to ignore?

But that was just it. It was as if Shinwoo’s mind had already made up his opinion of Taekyung before he could even rationalize the thought. His pull toward Taekyung was so immediate that it turned him into a bumbling idiot from their very first (rather unfortunate) interaction.

When Taekyung had showed up in the student council room, Shinwoo wondered for a moment if had slept past his alarm that morning and was still fast asleep in bed. It just felt so implausible. And yet, there Taekyung was.

Shinwoo had barely participated in a full conversation with Taekyung and he already wanted to know everything about him, despite the act he put on. The resistance and wall that Shinwoo threw up between them was for both of their sakes. He didn’t know Taekyung well enough to trust him yet and Shinwoo sure didn’t trust himself not to let his guard down considering the feelings that were already brewing inside him.

Whenever his eyes landed on Taekyung, it was like his chest caught on fire and he had a hard time catching his breath. The effect was so immediate it was almost blinding so Shinwoo had to rely on his defense mechanism to keep Taekyung at arms length.

But that didn’t even keep Taekyung away.

The more resistance that Shinwoo put up, the more that Taekyung tried to break down his walls. The fascinating thing about Taekyung was that he clearly had a difficult time navigating social cues and dealing with lack of clarity so he couldn’t help but push and push and push to build sense into his every interaction.

….So by trying to push Taekyung away, Shinwoo was really pulling him even closer.

Every time that Shinwoo was faced with Taekyung, he was surprised by how unpredictable Taekyung was. It was part of why Shinwoo was so drawn to him. There was no fakeness about Taekyung, he was meaningfully authentic. Every thought, worry, idea that passed through Taekyung’s mind was shared if it seemed relevant enough. No question remained unanswered and even though that didn’t always work out in Shinwoo’s favor, he found that quality in Taekyung incredibly refreshing.

It brought a sense of balance to their group. Daon was the president and people pleaser who would rather say ‘yes’ to everything than disappoint even one person. Shiwoon was the class clown who could bring positivity into the most tense situations while knowing everything about everyone. And finally, there was Shinwoo, the quiet one who made the hard decisions, made sure everyone stayed on track with their tasks and didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer (all while hiding how he actually feels under the surface).

Enter Taekyung and everything felt different.

But it was for the better. After Taekyung commented on how Daon seemed to be overscheduling himself because he couldn’t refuse people’s requests, Daon actually started to turn people down. When Taekyung asked why Shiwoon always needed to be on his phone when they were supposed to be accomplishing things for the council, Shiwoon started to pocket his cell as soon as he walked into the council room. Taekyung’s obsessive inquiry into why Shinwoo ‘hated’ him slowly made Shinwoo more and more comfortable with letting Taekyung into his world.

The dinner with Mr. Seo really solidified that in Shinwoo’s eyes. He felt himself smiling and relaxing for the first time in weeks and he couldn’t help but attribute that to Taekyung’s influence and presence.

Even if things weren’t entirely clear between them. Even if Daon and Taekyung’s closeness ignited jealousy in Shinwoo that made him wish he was as brave as Taekyung to ask him how he felt about Daon… There was still a sense of completeness between the four of them that had arrived when Taekyung arrived in the council room.

The thing between Daon and Taekyung didn’t shock Shinwoo but he wasn’t exactly a fan of it either. It wasn’t Daon’s fault that he oozed charm and was the epitome of kindness. Nobody could seem to be strong enough to escape the pull of Daon and, for some reason, Daon seemed to like having Taekyung tucked close under his wing. Shinwoo figured it was because, 1: Daon loved how honest Taekyung was, and, 2: Taekyung was undeniably adorable.

The latter reason was a recent discovery of Shinwoo’s.

Because their interactions had been so hostile up until recently, and because Shinwoo was always on high alert when Taekyung was within a close vicinity, Shinwoo had not allowed himself to really examine Taekyung closely or question what was so different and distinct about him.

Taekyung had an inquisitive stare that was hard to decipher. Shinwoo wondered if he intentionally masked his emotions or had learned over time to read people and gather the ‘appropriate’ reaction before displaying how he felt physically. Shinwoo had an innate sense that social situations made Taekyung overwhelmed and often just left him confused. But Taekyung also had the tools, if he wanted to put in the effort, to be able to focus enough to engage in social interactions.

Shinwoo figured this must be an exhausting endeavor for Taekyung, though, which is why he had isolated himself for so long. Shinwoo could relate to this as he was an introvert himself. If he was around too many people for too long, he often needed to distance himself from the situation to re-charge or feel like himself again. He sometimes found it difficult to be in the student council room when Daon and Shiwoon were blabbing away loudly so he was thankful that Taekyung seemed to be drained by socialization as well.

But the side of Taekyung that Shinwoo savoured the most was his soft smile. Taekyung’s smile never showed his lips, it appeared slowly and surely, tugging at the edges of his mouth until it formed into a recognizable grin. It was never forced and, because of his innate honesty, his smiles were always authentic. Their appearance brought something to the surface that both terrified and comforted Shinwoo.

There was also something undeniably otherworldly about the way that Taekyung looked, as if he had stepped out of the pages of a fairy tale or came from a land far away. Shinwoo knew it was a ridiculous thought but he couldn’t help but wonder where Taekyung had appeared from, as if he was a figment of someone’s vivid imagination.

And yet, that was the best part. Taekyung was real and tangible.

Although there was a part of Shinwoo worried that their friendship was so fragile, as if it could slip between his fingers and shatter into a million precious pieces. He would try desperately to gather them all up despite the pain and crimson that would spring from his fingertips to save whatever shreds he could.

But the truth of how Taekyung made Shinwoo feel would do just that: ruin everything.

So, Shinwoo had to stay silent.

Not only for his sake, but for the sake of the group. He knew what it was like to be ostracized for being different. History seemed to be repeating itself as feelings that reminded him of middle school were bubbling to the surface.

Shinwoo had been able to muffle that part of himself for so long, refusing to let himself feel anything other than platonic friendship for anyone. He had boxed that part of him away into a dark and shadowy corner of his mind and besides his middle school friends showing up out of the blue to harass him the other day, he had refused to acknowledge that part of him even existed.

But, of course, Taekyung yanked this part of Shinwoo to the forefront. The effect was visceral and undeniable. Shinwoo couldn’t ignore his attraction and feelings for Taekyung even if he wanted to. The panic that surged through him, which slowly settled into a warm sense of rightness whenever he was around Taekyung confirmed Shinwoo’s worst fears.

He had fought so long and so hard to silence this part of himself, to bury it and pretend it didn’t exist… and yet, somehow, being around Taekyung made a part of Shinwoo wonder if he should take a risk and be brave and honest for once about how he felt. Taekyung was the epitome of honesty and every song that Shinwoo spent with him convinced him that honesty was a much healthier way to live your life than suffocating a part of himself.

But what if the same thing happened as the first time? What if Shinwoo convinced himself that someone felt the same way and that he could trust that person with the truth? What if he went out on a limb and exposed his feelings, only to be violently rejected, mocked and shunned by the entire student body? What if the bullying got so bad that he didn’t want to go to school anymore and begged his parents to send him to a new one?

What if… what if… what if…

The ‘what ifs’ were what kept Shinwoo silent and as much as he wanted to think Taekyung and the other members of the student council were different, the reality was that Shinwoo would rather keep things hidden to keep their foursome together. He couldn’t lose his friends, not for a stupid crush.

But Shinwoo knew his feelings for Taekyung ran deeper than that.

It was as if Taekyung had infiltrated Shinwoo’s every breath and thought. Whenever Taekyung wasn’t around, Shinwoo was wondering what he was doing and what their next interaction might look like. Would Taekyung smile around him again? What did Shinwoo have to do to make sure that happened? Because there wasn’t anything better than Taekyung’s smile.

And this was where he was left; Shinwoo was at a crossroads with no sure path to take. He was helpless to his feelings and the effect that Taekyung had on him, as much as he tried to keep them at bay. He knew it would be better for them to be friends but every second they spent together just convinced Shinwoo of how special Taekyung was and made him fall harder.

But he couldn’t surrender to his feelings or let them be seen by anyone. He could be the victim in secret but he couldn’t reveal how he felt about Taekyung. To make sure of this, Taekyung made sure that the two of them were ever alone and always made a point of pretending to be involved in his work or on his phone whenever he had to witness Daon and Taekyung interact.

Because Shinwoo knew he had no right to be jealous. He had no claim over Taekyung and he had no right to control the nature of their friendship or whatever else might develop between Taekyung and Daon. If anything did, he would have to swallow the pain and shower them with all the support in the world, swallowing any sense of regret and putting it in the same place with his quieted feelings.

Being close to Taekyung was enough. Being Taekyung’s friend was enough. It had to be.

….No matter the effect that Taekyung had on Shinwoo.

#light on me #shinwoo x taekyung #korean bl #korean drama #kdrama

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marvel-and-mischief · 4 years

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His Saving Grace Part V

Title: His Saving Grace - Maxwell Lord x F!Reader Words: 4400 Warnings: verbal abuse, alcohol, drunken behaviour, angst, swearing Synopsis: Maxwell takes you to a business gala, explains what happened on that unusual day, and meets a familiar face. But not everything goes according to plan.

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV

A month passes in a flurry of meetings and spontaneous lunches with Maxwell, and being the odd one out whilst he spent his half a day a week with Alistair (Mrs Lord had decided that she trusted you enough to leave her son under your care). Though, by the third week Alistair had began to warm up to you, asking you questions and thrusting toys into your arms, urging you to join in the fun on the living room floor with him and his father.

Most of Maxwell’s conversations with you were about Alistair, or how well his new investments were doing. You didn’t elect to bring up what had happened in the restaurant a month ago, where he had you blabbering like an idiot with a silly schoolgirl crush, and he didn’t bring it up. You thought he might’ve, that it was maybe an indication that something was brewing between the two of you, but perhaps you were mistaken.

Though you noticed his hand would linger on the small of your back long after he had ushered you through a door, and he’d taken to kissing you on the cheek, a whispered ‘thank you’ on a Saturday afternoon when Mrs Lord had picked up Alistair and your work there was done.

But it was always respectful, professional.

One Monday you arrived at Maxwell’s apartment for lunch. Though you didn’t meet everyday, Maxwell was sure to telephone you most days and the night before he had been eager to have lunch with you to discuss something important. You begged him to tell you over the phone but he insisted he wanted to tell you in person. The excitement in his voice had you grinning and accepting his invitation easily.

He pulled you over to the island in the middle of the kitchen when you arrived and you saw it was lined with buttered toast and various jams, a cafetière filled with fresh coffee, plain croissants and a bowl of fruit.

“What are you up to?” You asked, teasing him and roaming you eyes over the delicious food as you took a seat.

“Must I be up to something to treat my favourite lawyer?” Maxwell looked genuinely affronted at your accusations before the mask slipped and a cheeky smile appeared on his lips. He fetched a bottle of milk from the fridge and a small saucer with sugar cubes on and placed them down next to your mug before taking his seat opposite you.

“Either that or you’re about to fire me,” you winked as you took a bite of your toast.

“Absolutely not! It would be like shooting myself in the foot.”

It wasn’t the most obvious of compliments but it still had you finding your slice of toast much more interesting than it was, unable to meet Maxwell’s eyes.

“I’ve been feeling very positive lately. With seeing Alistair every week and my investments working out. I think we should do something.”

“To celebrate?” You asked inquisitively, ignoring the part where he said ‘we’.

“Sort of,” Maxwell left his place at the island and picked up a pamphlet off a side table in the living room, “I saw this when I was out getting groceries. I would like to take you.”

Maxwell handed you the pamphlet. You curiously scanned the fancy writing, the black and gold color scheme, the illustration of a woman in a beautiful gown. It was a gathering of local business owners raising money for charity, or more accurately an excuse to dress up and have a party.

“There will be opportunities to schmooze and swap business cards but most importantly there will be dancing and copious amounts of champagne,” Maxwell seemed delighted at the idea, a hopeful look in his eyes as he watched for your reaction.

You licked the crumbs off your finger and thumb and started to nod.

“It’ll be fun,” you wanted to match Maxwell’s excitement but you had never been to anything like this, it was a whole other world to the one you were used to. But to Maxwell, this was a taste of his old life again, the glitz and the glamor of throwing money around until it sticks.

“It will be fun. You get to dress up and show everybody in the business world that you are the one to go to if they need help.”

You couldn’t help smiling bashfully. And yeah, maybe it would be nice to relax for once, let your hair down for a night, even show off a little. You were good at your job and everyone should know it.

But there was one thing nagging in the back of your mind. Maxwell had said he didn’t want this lifestyle anymore, was he really ready to go back into the limelight?

“Maxwell,” you put down the pamphlet in favor of reaching across the island and holding his hand, “are you ready for this?”

His smile dropped a fraction, a wistful look crossing his features as he gave your hand a squeeze. After a moment’s pause he spoke seriously.

“I cannot hide for the rest of my life. I must face the music one day, and what better way to do that than with a celebration?”

“But a gala for businessmen and women? You’re sure to bump into somebody you knew.”

“Perhaps. But these people won’t want to make a fuss. They’re all about appearances.”

“You’re sure?”

Maxwell chuckled, dismissing your apprehension.

“Everything will be fine.”

You hoped he was right.

Four days later you were sat in the back of a car Maxwell had hired for the two of you, bouncing your leg with nerves and staring up at Maxwell’s living room window as you awaited your date for the night to leave his apartment and join you.

You had brought your dress second hand, not sure if it was appropriate for the event or even if it was meant to match Maxwell’s outfit. You had no idea what was ‘etiquette’ at these galas, having never been to one.

You’d found a long dark green dress with thin straps over the shoulder and gold embroidered wildflowers in random patterns all over. You’d also come across an old black clutch at the back of your wardrobe from your clubbing days to go with it. You felt beautiful getting dressed up for the first time in years, even better that it was with Maxwell.

Speaking of which, when he came through the doors of the building you audibly gasped at how handsome he looked. His sleek, black three piece suit fit perfectly to his shape, whereas his everyday suits often looked boxy this one didn’t have the over the top shoulder pads and he looked better for it, more approachable in appearance. His shirt was white and had a crimped style and instead of a normal tie he wore a mint green bowtie, a fun addition that put a smile on your face.

Maxwell slipped into the car next to you, taking you in with a slow sweep of your outfit and an audible release of breath that had you second guessing your choices.

“You’re a sight to behold,” Maxwell admired you one last time before pointing to his bowtie and your dress, “and we almost match.”

You laughed, nerves dissipating as you allowed Maxwell’s compliment to seep in. Maxwell told the driver to drive on, unbuttoned his jacket and relaxed into his seat. He didn’t seem anxious to be going to a gala full of people. You were a little uneasy at the prospect of meeting people he might know, you had no idea how they would react to seeing him again but you were determined to have Maxwell’s back at every corner if you were met with conflict.

When you rolled up outside the museum you had to wait for arrivals in the car in front of your own to exit before you could. You watched as the flashing lights of the photographers were blinding the people walking passed them, and it took you back to when those cameras were shoved in your face during the worst time of your life. Would these photos be publicised? What would people think about you turning up to a charity event with a disgraced ex-oil tycoon?

Maxwell shuffled to the middle seat to grasp your hand in his, calling your name to take your attention away from what was happening outside.

“Are you alright?” The concern in his voice was genuine and the hand holding yours brought you out of your spiralling thoughts.

“I’ll be better once we’re passed them,” you pointed to the photographers but kept your eyes on Maxwell. He hummed and leaned over the front seat to whisper in the driver’s ear. Before you could question him, the car was driving away.

“Where are we going?” You asked in confusion.

“We’re going to enter round the back instead. I have some ties to this place so it should be fine,” Maxwell gave you a reassuring smile that had you instinctively leaning against his shoulder. It was comforting having Maxwell so close, you could smell his expensive cologne that reminded you of old books in a library and a little bit woodsy. Oh what you would give to be in his presence all the time.

The Smithsonian was a thing of wonder, even entering through a discreet back door away from the sparkle of the main event. After charming a security guard he seemed to know, Maxwell guided you with a hand in yours through narrow nineteenth century corridors, moving closer to the loud music at the front of the building. You passed dark locked offices and hurried through rooms with posters of animals and glass cabinets filled with artefacts far beyond your understanding.

“How do you know your way around here?” You asked as you took in your surroundings.

“I’ve been here before,” Maxwell’s reply was short, bordering on stern as he dragged you through the maze of corridors.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“No no,” Maxwell slowed down enough to bring you in step beside him, deliberately loosening his grip on your hand as he realised he had been clinging harshly and pulling you around the museum behind him. It wasn’t until you reached the gems and minerals department that you felt Maxwell stiffen up beside you.

“This is where it all began,” he confessed, pointing around the room in a generalised manner. You understood what he meant, but not knowing exactly what had gone down that day, you were confused as to how it linked in with a natural history museum.

“What happened?” You ventured, hesitant to push too hard on the subject.

“There was a stone I’d been researching for months and I traced it back to here,” Maxwell glanced over his shoulder to a door that led into an office.

“What sort of stone?”

“A Dreamstone,” Maxwell breathed, his fingers flexing around yours, “it granted wishes,” at your sceptical look he huffed out a laugh, “I know, it’s madness but I swear it’s true.”

He wasn’t playing a practical joke on you, that much you could tell, but how could a stone make your wishes come true? You decided for the most part Maxwell was sound of mind so it must be true, somehow.

“So, you took it? And made a wish?”

“I did. I wished to become the stone, that way I could grant people’s wishes and take a wish in return. I had limitless wishes, and I used every single one of them for my own benefit, to get more rich, more powerful, more evil,” Maxwell whispered the last word as he began to walk away from the department towards another corridor.

“You were already one of the most famous men in America, why did you need more?”

Maxwell let out a sarcastic laugh that made you jump. Thinking he’d scared you Maxwell tried to pull his hand from yours but you held tight, preventing him from doing so.

“I told myself it was for Alistair, to give him the world if he asked for it. I’m sure you and all your goodness would say I was misguided but the truth is, I wanted it. I said to myself, why shouldn’t I have everything I’ve ever wanted? Damn the consequences.”

You shook your head, disagreeing with the harshness in Maxwell’s voice and words. He wasn’t a bad man, you knew Maxwell was good at heart. The man he was describing wasn’t the man in front of you today. The man who had you entering the back of a gala because he saw how uncomfortable you were with the cameras at the front.

“I don’t believe you,” you stated adamantly.

“No, it is all true,” Maxwell argued but you shushed him as the music and the chatter of guests was getting louder. You came to an oak door and you knew the gala was on the other side. Before you opened it you paused and turned to face Maxwell.

“I believe your story but I don’t believe for a second that you wanted to be some king of the world. Otherwise why did you stop before you went too far?”

Maxwell opened his mouth to retort but closed it again, looking like a gaping fish out of water. He couldn’t come up with an answer that suited his self-deprecating view of himself. He saw Alistair in his mind’s eye, the answer to your question, but it would only further prove your point.

“We should go out there and enjoy ourselves, what do you think?” You asked, reaching forward to straighten up Maxwell’s bowtie. When you finished, you saw Maxwell looking at you with a sappy smile and a look you couldn’t put your finger on. Before you could ask, he offered you his arm and you took it, pushing open the oak door together.

You squinted into the dim, atmospheric lighting of the large room and paused for a moment to get acquainted to the loud music from the speakers on either side of you. The space was massive and could easily accommodate a couple of hundred people. There were cabinets of artefacts along the perimeter, skeletal displays hanging down from the roof, waiters walking around with trays of champagne. It was a world far from your own but you didn’t feel uncomfortable with Maxwell by your side.

You turned to Maxwell who nodded in the direction of the bar off to the side and up some steps. You let him guide you as you surveyed the dance floor, noting the guests were in deep conversations instead of dancing. You realised that this was the time to be talking to other business owners and swapping cards.

You opened your clutch and picked out the dozen or so business cards you’d had made and showed them to Maxwell as soon as you reached the bar.

“Ah, you listened to me!” Maxwell exclaimed with a delighted grin, waving down a bartender, “what do you want?”

“A cocktail?” You weren’t sure what you could order in a museum but Maxwell understood and ordered you something you’d never heard of before.

“You’ll like it, it’s sweet,” he assured you and took one of your business cards to look over.

“Is it okay?” You asked, a tightness in your chest as you awaited his opinion. You didn’t want to look stupid in the face of the rich and powerful.

“It’s nice, sophisticated and sleek, is that what you’re going for?”

You watched his finger trace the curvy triangle running from the top left corner of the card to the bottom right, a shiny pink against the matte black background. You nodded, certain it was exactly what you were going for. You had been a smart, capable and hard working lawyer and you wanted to bring that to your new role as a Career and Business Adviser.

“I want to be taken seriously,” you took back the card and shuffled them into a neat pile on the bar top just as your drink was placed in front of you.

“And you will be, you can do this,” Maxwell winked and it sent a warmth throughout your body.

When you were finished with your drink Maxwell directed you away from the bar and into the crowd. The nerves in every part of your body were on fire as you spoke to your first stranger, an older woman who owned a store in the middle of D.C. She spoke of the rising costs of renting her store and the trouble she was having attracting new customers.

You gave her advice that had her asking for your business card before you could even offer her one.

Maxwell’s hand was a comforting presence on your back as he urged you towards different people he thought would be potential clients. Some people recognised him with a look of shock, some gave him a wide berth but most people nodded politely or didn’t give him the time of day. You were too busy concentrating on your job for the night to notice, but Maxwell was grateful that everything seemed to going smoothly for you.

You were about to ask Maxwell if he wanted another drink when you spotted a tall, slender woman with long, wavy brunette hair on a mission to push through the crowd and reach Maxwell by any means necessary. You caught his eye, raising a questioning eyebrow but all he did was let out a long breath and face the woman who had a look of curiosity on her face. Her striking features, sharp jawline and pursed lips, set you on edge. You didn’t know whether she was going to slap Maxwell or have a very strongly worded conversation with him.

“Maxwell Lord,” she said, surprise in her tone and an accent you couldn’t place, but up close you thought she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. When she finally took notice of you she flashed you a friendly smile that made you weak at the knees. Who was this woman?

“Diana,” Maxwell greeted her nervously, urging you to his side and speaking your name to Diana who welcomed you with a genuine smile.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I could ask you the same. I thought you never attended these events.” So Maxwell was hoping to avoid this Diana, you realised. There was a tension between them that you couldn’t figure out. Were they lovers once? Enemies? It was a weird atmosphere that left you confused and feeling like a third wheel.

“I’ve been pushing myself out of my comfort zone recently,” Diana said with an air of mystery. You looked between the two of them, a frown etched onto your face.

Maxwell glanced at you and realised how this must seem and quickly went about to explain the situation.

“Diana helped me to see the error of my ways,” Maxwell spoke slowly, hoping to give you the hint of what he was referring to. You realised he was talking about the day he made his wishes, and this woman was the one who helped prevent him from falling deeper into the dark.

“Oh,” you gasped, nodding in understanding as Diana smiled shyly at the two of you.

“I simply reminded him of his humanity,” Diana seemed to relax once she caught onto the fact you knew exactly what they were talking about. She eyed you with interest, no doubt wondering how you and Maxwell came to be friends in the couple of months since the incident. You didn’t feel threatened under her gaze, instead it made you stand a little taller. You were proud at how far Maxwell had come since that day, he was almost unrecognisable from the mad oil tycoon everyone saw on their televisions and you hoped Diana could see that.

You didn’t notice how Maxwell was staring at you, a warmth settling on his chest as he admired your bravery. You could have shied away from this event, refused to attend with him and he wouldn’t have blamed you in the slightest. You were strong in the way Maxwell would never be. You didn’t need help to stand back up on your feet after everything you’ve been through, you were unafraid to walk the world with a target on your back from being seen with him. He thinks you would still stand proud, head held high even if you knew Diana’s true character.

Diana saw the look Maxwell was giving you and took it as her cue to leave. She didn’t need to keep an eye on this Maxwell Lord, not when you were there to keep him on the straight and narrow path of goodness and truth. Five minutes was all it took for Diana of Themyscira to see you were his saving grace.

“I will leave you both to it,” Diana nodded to Maxwell and turned to leave but came to a stop just as quickly. You looked to see what she was doing and saw her wide eyes turn on Maxwell.

You weren’t sure what was going on but you knew it wasn’t good when Maxwell grabbed your hand and pulled you into his side roughly. You would have grumbled your objection but you saw the fear on his face as he frantically looked around the room.

“What is it? What’s wrong Maxwell?” You urged him to answer you, but he didn’t need to because out of the corner of your eye you saw a man tripping towards you from the bar, clothes askew and holding an empty glass.

“You should be behind bars!” He pointed rudely at Maxwell who silently guided you to be completely shielded behind him.

“Sir, I think you’ve had a few too many-“

“You ruined my life!” The man exclaimed. He was close enough that he would have shoved his meaty finger into Maxwell’s chest but quick as lightning Diana forced her body between the two men and had the stranger’s finger held tight in her fist.

“You don't want to do that,” Diana spoke quietly, but there was a threatening undertone to her words that shocked you. You moved to lean into Maxwell’s ear whilst Diana tried to talk the man down.

“Let’s leave,” you said softly, seeing the sadness in Maxwell’s eyes now you were closer to him. You attempted to smile, to let him know without words that you weren’t disappointed with how the night had gone. You probably would have left soon anyway, the rude man just accelerated things.

Maxwell held your hand once again, it was becoming an ordinary occurrence between you two, and started to guide you through the crowd.

“Oi!” You heard the drunk man shout behind you but you hoped Maxwell would ignore him. “Your wishes destroyed my life, you bastard!”

Maxwell kept walking and you kept following. The crowds parted for the two of you but they only offered you pitying looks. It made your blood boil. They saw what had happened and instead of being angry at the drunk idiot causing a scene they were sad that you were caught up in it. Caught up with Maxwell.

You didn’t want pity and you certainly didn’t want their judgements. You would be glad to never see any of them again.

When Maxwell pulled you outside it was dark, stars twinkling in the sky, the air cool and refreshing on your burning skin. Maxwell let go of you and strode over to the car he had rented for the night, knocking on the drivers side window to wake up the driver who startled awake.

You slowly walked over, observing as Maxwell raked a hand through his hair and refused to look at you until you were standing in front of him.

“I can’t…You need to…” Maxwell sighed heavily and frustratingly kicked a pebble into the middle of the car park.

“I need to what?”

“You need to go. Far away from me, because people like him will always be around the corner.”

“You could say that about me.”

“Yes, but it didn’t happen to you tonight, it happened to me,” Maxwell jabbed his finger into his own chest as he frantically shucked off his jacket and loosened his bowtie until both pieces of fabric were hanging down the front of his shirt.

You remained calm, understanding Maxwell’s words stemmed from his embarrassment at the situation and not because he actually wanted you to leave.

“You want me to leave?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Your only friend?”

“I have no friends.”

“You do, you have me.”

Maxwell paused to take in your calm features, reminding himself of what he saw earlier tonight. Your strength, your inability to back down when the going gets tough. He couldn’t push you away if he really tried, he didn’t want to, and you knew that.

He walked around to the back door of the car and opened it.

“Get in before you catch a cold,” Maxwell ordered half-heartedly and was relieved when you complied, scooting over the seats to leave space for him to join you.

When the driver began to drive away you shuffled into the middle seat and laid your head on Maxwell’s shoulder, relaxing once he rested his head atop yours.

Moments later you heard Maxwell sniffle and you carefully looked up to see tears filling his eyes and threatening to spill.

“Oh Maxwell,” you whispered, sitting up to wrap your arms around his shoulders, bringing his head into the crook of your neck.

“I have ruined everything.”

“No, you’re wrong. It will get better,” you ran a hand slowly through Maxwell’s hair as you reassured him, “you were very brave tonight, to go to a gala full of people who knew who you were.”

Maxwell hugged you around the waist, holding you tightly against him, the rise and fall of your chest against his, your fingers on his scalp and the smooth motion of the travelling car calming him down.

“I’m scared for Alistair,” Maxwell croaked out against your neck.

“What do you mean?”

“My disgrace will follow him around. He’ll always be the son of Maxwell Lord.”

Your heart broke for your friend, but what could you say? You couldn’t predict the future, you just had to stick around to show him he was wrong.

Permanent tag list: @autumnleaves1991-blog @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @galactic-rhi @phoenixhalliwell @thewayofthemandalorian @computeringturtle @shikin83 @lesbianlena

#His Saving Grace #Maxwell Lord #Maxwell Lord x Reader #WW1984 #Wonder Woman 1984 #Pedro Pascal #Maxwell Lord fic

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slowlyreadinghouseofmirth · 3 years

Text

Page 6

(Selden being unsatisfied that the analogy that beauty being applied to vulgar clar doesn't fit Lily) a course texture will not take on a high finish -> deep down he knows Lily is a good person but also valuable in her own right as a person beyond the function of siciety-- the core of Lily is comparable to the raw materials of the clay. A kind of analogy similar to beauty is only skin deep, where Lily's beauty, as Selden views, is a product of her person, not just a mask she wears.

the material was fine but circumstance had fashioned it into a futile shape -> again the idea that women, particularly in the upper classes, are restricted by their need to fit into societal boxes. The restrictions don't lessen the women, but lessen what we see of them, as we look for only what is useful to us, and the only purpose of women in these ranks is marriage, which Selden views as futile.

the sun came out, ane her lifted parasol cut off his enjoyment -> the setting, parricularly the weather, has a big impact on setting the mood. The sun often symbolises happiness, so here the fact that Selden is blocked from the sun is telling that he can never think about Lily for too long, like it's a secret. The fact that it's Lily who cuts of the sun is interesting. As an overarching metaphor, the sun is his happiness and his happiness comes from Lily, but she also is the cause of the direct opposite, curbing his happiness by the barriers she puts up. In this sense (and I'm probably going out on a limb here) where Selden is seen as Lily's hope, Lily is also a cause of her own demise by distancing herself at times from him, by putting up those barriers.

The weather is used on the previous page as well which I didn't mention: A rapid shower had cooled the air, and clouds still hung refreshingly over the moist street. -> this feeling of refreshment and invigoration is linked to the meeting of Lily and Selden, where they each view the other's company as refreshing and invigorating, which is also to say honest and open.

"... what a hideous place New York is!" -> I've probably mentioned this before but Lily is quite overly expressive and blunt when she talks, which may read as rude but I like her for it: it's a refreshing contrast from the setting and other characters, where etiquette is of high concern. It also demonstrated how unsuited she is to life in high society. (and also discord between reading people/situations and reacting to them in a way that society deems appropriate makes me think she might be neurodivergent but I'll revisit that idea when I have more evidence)

American craving for novelty -> to maintain novelty is to constantly create new things which is unsustainable and frivolous. This can be linked to specifically the upper classes' desire to show wealth by always having the latest fashion, but also high society itself which is unsustainable as Lily learns. It also points out the driving force of capatilism in America which is still unsustainable without great damage to many people. Hence Lily becomes a victim of a culture breed from capitalism.

He paused a moment -> This shows that Selden considers the consequences of asking her to his rooms before he asks her, because he knows what the consequences are for Lily to be caught in such a position. Despite this, he still asks her, giving her a choice, and ultimately agency, even if she is biased towards following him.

Her colour deepened – she still had the art of blushing at the right time -> instills the idea that everything is a performance done to observed and judged. The fact that there is a right time to blush, something that is an involuntary reaction, highlights the ridiculiusness/futility of societal expectations as discussed preciously. This also implies that there have been previous occasions in Selden's presence that have had cause for Lily to blush, which is intriguing, and speaks to a deep relationship.

"... I'll take the risk," -> it seems as though all of their time that they can spend tozgether is fraught with danger. Hence something thrilling and exciting for both of them is gained on each others company. Perhaps this among many other things is why they never become an official couple, because then they would lose that sense of forever chasing their affection.

"Oh, I'm not dangerous," he said in the same key. -> I'm sorry i can't hear you for their flirting ajsjkfg. The "Oh," is a clear indication that Selden is flirting, but also it adds an extra layer of meaning to "I'm not dangerous.". This carries both the literal meaning that Selden is aware of what a proposition like that could look like and is telling Lily that he knows for her to go up to his rooms is dangerous, in terms of what people's perceptions of that will be, but that he is not going to realise those assumptions. He would never harm her and is telling her he actively cares for her well being. It also, with the flirtation, could be read as that Selden could be dangerous if Lily wanted him to be, where dangerous means desirable. "said in the same key" refers to flirtatious tone that they share with each other but I think it also shows understanding of one another, which they both find hard to come by.

#I took a more chatty approach #I am but a simple shipper of these two idiots #hom meta #house of mirth #Page 6

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cosplayinamerica · 4 years

Photo

Spiderman from Marvel 1602 // Cosplayer: kammospark

Tell us about Spiderman1602, I’ve seen many versions of Spiderman but thiis is a new one to me! What led you to this concept of this version of Spiderman?

Well I've always had an appreciation for lesser know outfits of popular heroes. Looking through many wardrobes and outfits, the obscure ones always stood out to me, "Wow, I've never seen this one before!" I'd think to myself, and I figured others who know the characters well would love to see them brought to life too, or even people curious about the stories of them would enjoy seeing it. I feel everyone has a love for Spider-Man; he's such an iconic superhero and has so many suits, and even though they can be quite diverse, they still feel recognizable as one of the Web-slinger's costumes.

While I was looking at different Spiderverse characters for inspiration on a new Spider-Man cosplay, I saw Marvel 1602 and it immediately caught my attention; I thought it was such a fun looking design. Definitely away from a modern or futuristic look, it's charm won me over, and I had to put it together. And as a fan of the fantasy genre in general, thanks to many years as a GM from D&D as well as other media, I also enjoy Ren-faires and wanted something to wear to show my love for Superheroes and Renaissance.

When you wore it out to conventions, what was the response? Obviously they knew you were Spiderman because of the mask but were they confused about the rest of your outfit? What were some of their guesses?

Oh people certainly get a kick out of seeing the outfit. Some people have called Me 'Lord Spider-Man', 'Ren-Spidey', 'William Spider-Speare', a lot of creative names for it that never fail to make me smile as much as it does for them. Whenever I wear a Spider-Man cosplay, I always want to try and take pics with as many Spider-Men as I can find, and most of the time it's the other Spiderman cosplayers that recognize who the character really is. I love having people laugh and get excited over the character, it's part of that Con Magic where people just can't help but feel like a kid when they see something that fills them with joy; its my favorite part of this fun hobby, just making someone's day memorable, even for a moment.

Besides conventions , I see you wore the costume to a Renaissance Fair. What was responses there? Was it different from conventions?

Ren-faires in general are a great time! And when I started this costume, I was excited just thinking of the reactions from people and how happy they may be. I've taken 1602 to quite a few Ren-faires: Central Coast Ren Faire, NorCal Ren Faire, and Kingsburg Renaissance of Kings.

The first place I ever debuted it was as CCRF, and I was stopped by about 20 people before I could make it past the first 3 booths. It really does feel like a different environment going to faires. D

uring them, I'd be a bit more 'theatrical' and introduce myself as Peter Parquagh, and try my best to make people smile or laugh. I've gotten the opportunity to meet many wonderful people and people with stunning and gorgeous Renaissance outfits. Kids come walk by amazed that they actually got to see a Spider-Man at a Ren Faire.

One instance, a bard played the spider-man theme song on a lute as he traveled around me. At two different faires my presence was requested by the Queen, and I was escorted to her, one even knighted me! Everyone just has a blast role playing and getting caught up in the fun, the energy is so infectious and delightful!

Take us through how the outfit was put together?

Well, I cannot take full credit on the cosplay. My mother was actually a large part of it. Growing up, my mom was always really involved and loved making costumes for Halloween for me and my sister. And one of her favorite aesthetics is period piece era fashion and she loves Jane Austen.

As I was looking for ideas for a new cosplay and showing her, she was drawn towards 1602 and offered to do as much as she could to help create it, and she loved helping putting it together. The suit is a handmade outfit following a 14th century cavalier pattern. The design called for detachable sleeves and very baggy slops, but we decided to have the sleeves attached and slim down the slops slightly, to give it a mix of authentic and Spider-man's sleekness.

We went looking online and found this wonderful blue velvet fabric with Fleur De Lis imprinted onto it and thought it'd really help the outfit pop! We had to make sure we kept the fabric in the same direction: it has a difference in shimmer if facing a certain way, and we wanted the Fleurs facing the same way as well, so we tried to be mindful of that. We pleated the red fabric in the front and it was quite stubborn, but we tried our best to make it look similar on both sides of the torso. The back has a spider and has legs that lead unto the front; we cut out red fabric and hand-stitch embroidered on, and was quite meticulous.

Me and my mom kept an eye out online for just the right buttons we wanted for the costume. Something antique and era appropriate but also thematic, and after a while, we stumbled across a web-designed antique gold button set. We also looked for a thick ruff rather than the costumes original thin look. The original costume look also called for the mask to have open eye holes, but I opted out of that, and felt that a traditional mask look better complemented the costume. After that I acquired socks and shoes and then it was finished!

How did you discover cosplay?

As mentioned earlier, my mom loved making mine and my sister's costumes growing up. She's a seamstress as a hobby, and is so creative and artsy. Halloween was probably my favorite holiday growing up, and I was so happy I got to wear something made with much love from my family. Some of my favorite notable costumes growing up was a knight, an astronaut, and Pikachu.

As I got older, around high school, I still liked the idea of costumes, even bought a cheap Captain America outfit for The Avengers premiere night, but I mostly dropped off on dressing up. I grew up in a very small town, but eventually, after I moved out to the city, I heard about 'conventions' and I was interested and wanted to try and wear something to one. I decided to make a classic Punisher costume, and wore it for the con. It was a small venue, but even then it finally hit me, 'This is a thing people do. People love to dress up, go make friends, bring smiles and show their love for their Fandoms and interests. THIS is what Cosplay IS'. I finally understood what this little hobby of mine was, and I embraced it.

Have you discovered something about yourself through cosplay?

I've always thought of myself as a people pleaser. I'm someone who really only want others to be happy. I'm also someone who loves to share their interests and engage with others about things that we can share and discuss and geek out over.

When I was young, I often felt left out from social circles, due to my often eccentric personality. I found it really hard to make friends, and I am forever grateful for the friends that I have made and been with me for years.

Cosplay has opened up another avenue as far as friends and socializing. My first couple of cons I was initially intimidated, but I have to say that I'm so glad I got into this hobby, for I've met many people with interesting stories and wonderful personalities, and people I still talk to often. It's really helped me feel like I can make good friends and memories, and I'm sure that others have felt similarly and that's something I treasure.

What are your future cosplay goals?

As with most cosplayers I'm sure, I have way too many projects in my head with very little work on a lot of them. I suppose my current goal is to rework the headpiece of a cosplay I finished last year, my Bioshock Big Daddy Doll. The head was massive and too cumbersome so it needs to be redone.

As far as new projects, I would very much like to do a Prince Link cosplay, inspired by the creation of theLostSindar. Another idea would be to do more superhero variants and make a Blue Lantern Flash that 8ve been eyeing for a couple of years.

One thing I definitely want to get good at is working with foam. I am massively inexperienced with foamsmithing, and I strive to learn how to be good at it and learn how to make wonderful things with it. It's just like when I first went to cons; starting off can be a bit scary or even overwhelming before we really get it going, but that exposure to things we really desire is all we need to get hooked and make it our passion.

https://www.instagram.com/kammospark/

#Marvel 1602 #marvel 1602 cosplay #spiderman 1602 #spiderman 1602 cosplay #spiderman #spiderman cosplay #cosplay #cosplay interview

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galaxyofmyown · 4 years

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can you do hotch with a reader with an age gap? maybe something to do with the song “dont stand so close to me” from the police

hello darling! here you go. i obviously aged the song up so she’s in higher education so as to not make her younger than 25 which is my usual rule of thumb. enjoyyyyyyyy! xo

aaron hotchner x reader - just a number

young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy

Aaron needs to stop letting himself get roped into this kind of thing. He’s much better suited for sitting behind a desk than standing in front of a classroom. But here he was anyway, at Virginia Commonwealth University, guest-lecturing for a Professional Ethics and Liability class. The professor was a friend of his from his prosecutor days and he owed her a favor.

Despite Hotch’s general confidence surrounding his career, public speaking is not one of his favorite things. But he’s gotten good at faking it over the years, so his voice carries throughout the lecture hall confidently. There couldn’t be more than 30 people in the room considering the class was only open for people pursuing an M.S. in Criminal Justice. Perhaps this is why his eyes kept wandering back to you. Sitting third row left, dutifully taking notes.

At first, there didn’t seem to be anything special about you. Sure, you were beautiful, but all the girls in the lecture hall were objectively good looking. You weren’t even dressed to impress, lounging in your seat with leggings and a big sweatshirt on. But you had a wiser-than-your-years air about you, and you seemed extremely interested in the subject matter. Hotch couldn’t stop thinking about you, couldn’t tear his gaze away every time you wrapped your lips around the straw of your iced coffee. His interest in you nagged at him. You couldn’t possibly be older than 25. He’d never felt so attracted to someone so young before. Although not explicitly wrong, it did conflict with his personal morals.

she wants him so badly, knows what she wants to be

Yeah, you had a crush on Aaron Hotchner. Despite having only known of his existence for about an hour and 45 minutes, you were under his spell. He’s more charming and well-spoken than most of your professors, and they do this shit for a living. The way he carries himself, the way he moves his hands when gesturing to the screen. It was… hot. But it was more than that. He was smart and competent and his credentials were certainly impressive. And you weren’t the only one to notice. There were many people in your class that looked as interested in him as you felt.

“That’s all I have for you today. Does anybody have any questions?” Hotchner asks the PowerPoint goes black. A few people raise their hands, including yourself. You actually do have a question, but you’re filled with nerves as he looks at you.

“Yes, you in the third row. What’s your name?” He asks. You feel hot.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), sir.” God, he hates that you called him that. Or rather, he hates how much he loves it. You ask your question about how attorney allocations often lead to unjust decisions in court. Agent Hotchner smiles as you speak, causing one girl to turn to you and roll her eyes. Oops?

her friends are so jealous, you know how bad girls get sometimes it's not so easy to be the teacher's pet

“That’s a great question, (Y/N).” Hotchner says (earning you eye roll #2) before spouting off an answer, which you scribbled down in your notebook. He answers a few more questions, and you notice that he didn’t ask anyone else for their name. But that doesn’t mean anything right? As your professor joins Agent Hotchner in the front to thank him for speaking, you realize that you’re never going to see this man again.

And frankly, that’s unacceptable.

You need to say something to him before he leaves, so you stay in your seat as the other students either leave or walk up to talk to Professor Ramirez or Hotchner. Many students are attempting to mask their blatant flirtation with a question, which, like, power to them, but you still felt the distant and unfamiliar sting of jealousy. You don’t miss the way the Agent keeps looking at you, however, which fuels your barely existent confidence. You walk up to Hotchner right after the last student leaves, and boldly stick your hand out. He shakes it and the warmth of his hand seems to move through your entire body.

“It’s (Y/N), correct?” He asks. You nod.

“That’s correct, Agent.” Hotchner smiles at you.

“Please, you can call me Hotch.” He says.

“Alright, Hotch. I just wanted to say that it’s great to meet you. An honor, really.” “It’s great to meet you too.” He says, and if you didn’t know better you would say his tone was FLIRTATIOUS, “Are you interested in working for the FBI?” He asks and you can’t help but laugh.

“God, no.” You say, which makes him raise an eyebrow.

“No?”

“Sorry, sir, no offense, but I really don’t trust the government enough to work for them.” You say, and try to contain your smile when he laughs.

“Fair enough. So what is it you want to be doing?”

“I’ll tell you, but you can’t laugh at me-”

“I would never laugh at you.” He interrupts, and you smile.

“Okay, then. I want to be a private investigator.” Hotch looks surprised, but he nods in approval.

“I can respect that. Although you’ll make plenty of enemies that way.”

“Hm. That’s okay with me. I have a lot of friends.”

“So you’ll strike a balance.”

“Exactly.”

You stand in front of him for a second, calculating your next move.

“Is there something you needed to ask me?” He asks, looking into your eyes. You almost chicken out, but then-

“Yes, actually. Um, this is a bit weird, and I’ve never done this before, but… would you maybe want to get dinner with me sometime?” You ask, forcing yourself not to break eye contact. Hotch’s face remains controlled, and you can’t gauge his reaction.

temptation, frustration, so bad it makes him cry

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). You’re lovely and seem like a great person, but I don’t think that would be appropriate.” He says, and you deflate (although you try not to show it). Trying not to cry from embarrassment, you smile at him and nod.

“I understand, Agent. Have a good night!” You say, staying as positive as possible. Hotch looks at you with pity, which is the last thing you need.

“I really am sorry, (Y/N).” He says.

“Don’t be. Have a good night.” You say, and you’re out the door before he can respond.

You walk to the exit and groan when you see that it’s pouring rain outside.

“Shit.” You say, digging around in your bag for your umbrella, but you can’t find it anywhere.

“Fuck.”

Usually, you’d walk to your apartment from school, but you can barely see the street in front of you with all the rain. You jog over to the bus stop and nearly collapse onto the seat, ignoring everyone around you. Today sucks.

wet bus stop, she's waiting, his car is warm and dry

Hotch pulled out of his reserved parking space carefully. He’s glad he thought to take an umbrella today. He turns up the heat in his car and breathes in the warm air. He can’t stop thinking about you. Was he an idiot for turning you down? It felt like the right thing to do, but now he just feels stupid. He groans as he pulls up at a stoplight. Driving through Richmond at night and in this weather was going to be a nightmare. He looks to his right and sees you, soaking wet and miserable. God. He’s pulling the car over before he can even weigh his options. There’s no way he was going to make you take the bus this late without any protection. He rolled down his window.

“(Y/N)!” He called, startling you. You look up, your expression a mix of hopefulness and embarrassment.

“Yeah?” You ask tentatively. Hotch falters for a moment, then says,

“I can drive you home.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay I’ll just-”

“I’m worried about you. Get in if you want. It’s really no problem.”

You hesitate, and Hotch can practically hear your conflicting thoughts. But you get in the car nonetheless, and holy shit. He has heated seats.

“Thank you.” You say as you close the door. You immediately feel better, the warmth of the car soothing you, the leather seats making you feel less guilty for being soaked in this obviously expensive car.

“It’s no problem. Where should I go?”

You give him directions, his rumbling voice and soft demeanor making you feel so comfortable. The drive only takes 5 minutes, and suddenly you wish you lived farther away.

“It’s this one.” You say, and he parallel parks flawlessly. Hot.

“I’ll walk you up.” He says, reaching for his seatbelt. You put your hand over his before he can unclick it, and he looks up at you.

“Don’t please. I’ll be fine.” You rush out, not eager for him to see the inside of your shabby apartment building. He relents, but before you can pull your hand away he grabs it, softly stroking it with his thumb. It’s an awkward angle, but it makes your heart race nonetheless.

“Hotch?” You ask quietly, and he’s pulled out of his trance. He pulls his hand away and turns back to face the front.

“Sorry. Uh, good night.” He says, and you sigh.

“I’m 25, Hotch. I have a full-time job-”

“(Y/N)-”

“No. Let me say this, please. I have a full-time job and I’m taking night classes for my Master’s. I have my own insurance. I can vote, drink, rent a car. My brain is fully developed. You aren’t my boss. You aren’t my professor. You’re just a guy. I’m just a girl. It’s that simple. If you aren’t interested just say that and I’ll get out right now. But if this is about my age, or your age, then I think you’re making a mistake.” You say, your voice growing stronger with each word. Hotch looks at you, but his guard isn’t up this time. You know exactly what he’s thinking.

“Kiss me, Hotch.” You say. Hotch smiles.

“Call me Aaron.”

“Okay, how many times are you gonna change your name because-”

Aaron pulls you to him before you can finish your thought. His lips are softer than you expected, and he kisses like a guy with 20 years more experience than you. And it’s amazing.

“Wow.” You say as he pulls away. He presses his forehead against yours, and he’s full-on grinning now.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you to your door?” He asks, and you can’t help it: You giggle like a schoolgirl.

don't stand so close to me

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch imagine #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #ssa hotchner

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justjensenanddean · 5 years

Photo

Jensen Ackles as Red Hood [x]

The MakeWhile Red Hood in Mint Condition was designed as an Easter Egg — a nod to Jensen Ackles’ voice acting performance in Batman: Under The Red Hood — the continuing adventure with the costume was wonderfully unpredictable. The initial version had been a process mainly motivated by my own preexisting excitement, and then, on the first of two days shooting on the set of our fictional comic shop “Smash! Pow! Collectibles”, seeing the reaction from the boys (and director, additional cast and crew for that matter) when they entered the shop was incredibly inspiring. Jared helped position the costumed mannequin, wanting to ensure it was in the opening shot of the main characters entering the store, and Jensen looked at it and immediately expressed his desire for the whole costume for himself for Halloween, a genuinely enthusiastic compliment I graciously accepted.

My response to Jensen was instant: I can make that happen. It’s yours.Realistically, having the costume live in my closet for the rest of eternity seemed useless anyway, and what better use for a designated character outfit than to have the voice actor (and a truly excellent choice for a face-claim) wear it for Halloween. I immediately contacted Tanja from Tiger Stone FX about a new helmet because the one by Tiger Stone which played in the store was a piece belonging to someone to whom I had once given it. Tanja and her husband Nat are the wonderful people behind the brilliant work of Tiger Stone, and also happen to be fans of the show. What a lovely coincidence. They went to work right away making Jensen’s new helmet and mask. It is always a pleasure working with them, and their work is absolutely exceptional. I can’t recommend them enough. The helmet was and is certainly a highlight – as was watching Jensen run around the comic book store wearing it.

There were several other additions I needed to make for the costume, since while the outfit played as a nearly direct reflection of the animated movie design, I felt it needed updates to make it fit a realistic setting. Also, the mannequin is wearing my lace-up tactical boots. They were not going to fit Jensen. They barely fit the mannequin. In fact, let’s start with those.

Regardless of how difficult I thought it would be to have everything come together or get finished in time, nothing was more of a struggle than finding knee-high lace-up boots in Jensen’s size. It’s not even as though he’s an unrealistic size – in fact, that was the problem. Every pair of boots I was even remotely interested in for the costume was out of stock in his size. Call after call to manufacturers and stores across the United States and finally, finally I managed to find a woman willing to go to the warehouse of the factory to see if one of two designs happened to just be sitting on the shelf in the appropriate size. I bought the very last pair after a lot of silent cheering. But it was really down to the wire by the time I managed to get a hold of them.

In addition to the alterations required for the jacket and shirt I had previously made for the episode (luckily the pants were the perfect fit), I made extra accessories for the shoot – like Jensen’s requested hood, bloody ninja stars, belt accessories, new but distressed gloves, and Jason Todd’s pair of handguns. I had a lot more time to finish the extra odds and ends, and because they were part of the costume I had on my dream checklist, I had so much fun with them. I love weathering and painting, and don’t often need to do so on pieces I make. Having the opportunity to utilize some of my other interests for this project was really fantastic.

The Shoot

It was the day before Halloween by the time I had everything done. We were shooting at the Supernatural Stages, and so I had asked Jensen if he wanted to try everything on together to see how it fit. I arrived at studio in the morning to ask if lunchtime for the fitting was a good idea if he’d have time, and his suggestion instead was just to do the photoshoot then. Keep in mind, set-lunch is a half hour marked period of time from when the last crew member on the shooting crew goes through the line, which meant pressure was on. Limited time to dress and shoot…very limited.

Luckily, I live extremely close to studio, and went home, packed up absolutely everything costume and camera wise, and drove back as quickly as possible.

Having Jensen try on the suit for the first time was pretty unbelievable. I love making costumes for other people – in fact, it gives me far greater joy than any costumes I’ve made for myself ever have and most likely ever will. There is something about another person’s sheer joy and excitement that completely obliterates any negative thoughts I have about my creations. This time was of course no exception. I will never forget when he looked in the full length mirror, straightened his jacket, and said, “Man, I have never felt so cool. I feel like a real superhero.” The ‘me’ who put Red Hood on my dream-costume list years earlier never thought this would be how I would check it off.

Trisha, the Head of our Makeup Department, was a true sport, and helped us out by blackening up the space around Jensen’s eyes and putting on the mask. And with that last step, we jumped into Cliff’s car and were off for a photoshoot, a round-trip adventure of less than twenty minutes.

Ironically, I never do much for Halloween, despite the vast amount of costume choices I have for the holiday, but I think this was definitely the ultimate way to celebrate for 2018. I have never had so much fun with a costume before.

I edited the photos that afternoon, ready in time for a Halloween release. The response was overwhelming, and I wish to express my gratitude for the continued support and kind words in regard to my work. I would again like to thank Tanya and Nat at Tiger Stone who helped make this possible, and of course Jensen Ackles for being excited, willing, and one hell of a real life action figure.

Photos of Jensen Ackles shot and edited by Clockwork Shadow Creations Nikon D810 / Nikkor 1.4f/58mm / Nikkor 1.4f/10-24mm Behind the scenes photos by Cliff Kosterman Costume Credits: Fabric garments and accessories: Clockwork Shadow Creations (Belt canister print: Retronano) Helmet and mask: Tiger Stone FX Neck guard: Hernandez FX

clockworkshadowblog.com/jensen-ackles-redhood/

#Jensen Ackles #Batman Under the Red Hood #Red Hood #*

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thenexusofsouls · 3 years

Note

What were your thoughts on BW?

{i am the caretaker of souls} MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BLACK WIDOW BELOW THE CUT!

I really liked the movie. It was entertaining but also very hard to watch at times, which is exactly what it should have been. I like that we finally got a better fleshed-out background for Nat in the MCU, I liked her "family," and I thought there was the right mix and balance of the calculating assassin and morally-conflicted hero Natasha that we know and love. We saw her be a hero, but we also saw her falter, deceive, and do some terrible things too. I think too often we forget or ignore that she is a morally ambiguous character in favor of "but she's cool and I like her." The movie didn't shy away from saying look, she's done some horrible things, and she's going to have to face them. That was very well done. I also adored Yelena so so so much. Seeing positive Ace representation in the MCU (even if not explicitly said yet but I can hope) is great. But... some things bugged me a lot about the movie.

So... no one noticed a huge floating Red Room in the sky (Ghibli anyone?) for years? I know MCU tech is crazy but that just seemed desperately contrived. Also the level of violence for non-super-soldiers to only get a few bruises in the end was just... absurd. Natasha and Yelena both would have been dead ten times over, I'm sorry. But it's crazy superhero stuff, so I just nod and pretend not to notice, heh.

I really hated what they did with Taskmaster. I mean, I honestly loved the whole "sins come back to haunt Nat" arc, I did. And it illustrated just how heartless, cold, and depraved that girl's father was. It worked, it did. But... that should not have been Taskmaster. He should have been his own thing, closer to the comics, in my opinion. Even genderbent, I'm fine with that, but don't tie it to this added MCU plot that changed Taskmaster's identity, style, motivations, etc. They should have been two separate characters. I feel like the whole thing was a troll to people who read some of the comics, like oh hey guess what SHE WAS THIS CHICK ALL ALONG, GOTCHA! Mmm... no. That wasn't cool, it was a giant troll. Shame on you, MCU. This is why I have trust issues. XD The only way they redeem Taskmaster at this point would be in the Frankenstein sense (for all you Death Race fans out there), whereby the mask and mantle remain constant while the person behind the mask changes. That... could be cool.

Also, Yelena was just freed from life under someone else's control and then she takes up with Valentina? Why would she do that? Why would she want to do anything like that? Wouldn't she want to just live normally with her finally-acquired dog, or at least on her own terms instead of again being told what to do? I dunno that seemed weird to me.

I got confirmation of my headcanon that Nat was involved with the Raft breakout, so that was cool, but also learned that Wanda was incarcerated at the Raft for at least two if not likely over three weeks, so that's upsetting. Adding that into my girl's canon on her blog like... sorry luv.

I can't watch Rachel Weisz and not think Evelyn Carnahan, and if you get what I'm talking about, I love you for it. So it was weird seeing her as a Russian spy, but it was wonderfully uncomfortable, lol. My Ardeth muse is wincing right now haha. It's okay, bruh. XD

But yeah, even with all its problems, I did enjoy the movie a lot. And I have so many feels. Not all of which are good, though. One thing that really limited my enjoyment of the movie is that it happened already during a time at which we now know all is said and done. Nothing in this movie changes anything. We already know what happens. We know how and when Nat dies. So the usual pumped up excitement for the future of a fandom that I have with a new installment of an action movie... was dampened. Because this movie changed nothing. EXCEPT... that as Natasha fans, we now have a better understanding of her perspective during IW and EG. We now know she went though this whole other ordeal before she ever showed up with Steve to aid Wanda and Vision in Edinburgh. We now know some of her past and silent struggles that she carried with her for so long. So we, as fans of hers and maybe as writers if she's our muse, now have a better idea of her perspective in life in general and at the time of the last couple Avengers movies. And that is valuable. But as far as the excitement after the fact, it was dampened by knowing... there is no more for Nat. We do get the tie-in with the end of TFatTW, and we do get a lead-in to Hawkeye and all, but for Nat... that's it. And it just felt anticlimactic to me. I felt... sad. And I don't usually feel that way after an action film, heh. But... yeah, I guess all told it was appropriate to feel that way, but it was definitely... a mood.

That's my assessment of the movie and my reaction to it. What are your opinions of it? =)

#{ i am the caretaker of souls } ᵒᵒᶜ #black widow spoilers

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whereflowersbloom · 4 years

Text

Shadows and Thorns

Part II

Damian Al Ghul was exhausted. Long, elegant dresses taunt him. Whispers and giggles emanating from faceless daughters of nobles and royals, thread behind him. Every father is a matchmaker, every lady is a price. He was weary and burdened by his duties and plan to dethrone his grandfather. Seeking a moment of peace he did not seem to find in the castle, surrounded by great Lords pursuing an alliance with his Kingdom. How much longer would he have to wear this imaginary mask? Until he no longer recognized himself? He decided perhaps a quick visit to Goliath would take his mind off his worries and current predicament.

Donella or commonly known as princess Donna from Themyscira was without a doubt, one of the most beautiful women Damian had ever seen. She was slender, with golden skin and long dark hair. She was a smart woman, with a kind heart and glistening smile, alluring and very pleasant to the eye. The perfect candidate to be his queen. A true benefit to the royal family, considering the Amazonian army. Every person attending the feast believed Prince Damian to fall for the Amazonian princess as soon as she arrived at the capital. Yet, when she smiled at him graciously, and he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, greeting her formally. He did not feel any different. His pulse did not quicken. He did not feel the wings of desire awake, desire for her or any of the ladies he had met.

He was very near to his destination, almost there when he heard a hearty, feminine giggle. A lady out here? He moved in silent steps along the path leading to the stables, careful steps as if trying not to disturb anyone. There she was, resembling closely a water nymph, or Diana, goddess of the moon, created by the gods and painted with moonlight. speaking to Goliath? He even allowed her to touch him. That was unusual. He wanted to explore in more detail this charming and incomparable sprite. She seemed to be unaware of his presence. Well, this could be the entertainment he required to wash away his concerns, if only for a moment.

~~~

“I do not believe we have met.” The Al Ghul prince muttered, taking a few steps towards her. She noticed the way he lifted one corner of his mouth in a smile, and could do nothing but to enjoy that handsome face of his. His green eyes sparkled like emerald jewels, completely focused on her.

She blinked several times. Belatedly, it struck her. This was the prince. Damian Al Ghul. The crown Prince. And apparently she was patting his horse. “Oh my.” He had caught her off guard. She cursed in her mind for her lack of manners and shocking behavior. “My Lord. I mean...Your Grace.” Embarrassment snatched away her voice and she felt a hot blush fill her cheeks.

Damian’s mouth twisted into a smirk as he stood back, seemingly unoffended by her ignorance. She could tell he even found it rather humorous. “Well, I believe you now have the advantage, my lady, as you appear to have identified me. Pray tell me, by what name should I call you?” He tilted his head, looking into her face, studying her body language. Evidently waiting for her to answer his question.

“Call me Rhachel.” those words came out of her mouth more out of habit than anything else. Seven hells. That’s not the proper way to introduce yourself to the Crown Prince. She almost bit her tongue, wondering if that sounded nearly as inappropriate as it sounded in her head. Constantine would undoubtedly lecture her if he found out. Looking at the prince's amused face, her worries faded away in less than two seconds, the man didn't seem too shocked by her informality.

She cleared her throat and dropped into a curtsy immediately. “My name is Rhachel Roth, Your Grace.” She prayed incessantly he didn’t ask her questions about the rumors, knowing well, it was inevitable.

He took a lock of her hair between his fingers, gracefully, gently twirling it. “From Azarath. The Princess of thorns.” His velvety voice was so mesmerizing. “Is it true what they say? Lovely as a rose but sharp enough to draw blood.” He tucked the lock of hair behind her ear. This wasn’t right, acceptable. They shouldn’t be alone together, let alone at the stables. Green eyes met indigo, merriment against astonishment. His penetrating gaze made her stomach turn and her heart pound.

She took a deep breath and collected herself. “Well, Your Grace. I believe it’s something you’ll have to discover yourself.” She narrowed her violet eyes, studying his expression. She rarely used her powers but her curiosity was stronger than her prudence when he was near. She sensed his emotions, contemplating who was underneath this mask. She felt his thrill facing the unknown, her, eagerness. But there was something else, layers. There was resentment, discontent, anger, passion, if she went deeper. Underneath the layers, there was tenderness, it was gentle, realistic and calm. Why was he trying to hide it from everyone?

Damian was strangely, throughly fascinated by the Azarathian princess.

A beautiful creature, like a white raven, noticeable different, often misunderstood and the rarest beauty. He had to admit in that brief moment, with her pale porcelain skin, as white as freshly fallen snow, fair features, long platinum white locks falling to her chest in a wavy cascade and a pair of stunning unearthly, marvelous indigo eyes that studied him mindfully, framed by thick, dark lashes. He found her intriguing. Her moonlight beauty was something he’d never seen before.

Rhachel Roth was a vision and Damian Al Ghul was undeniably captivated. Entranced. He thought she would vanish if he took his eyes off her, if only for one second. He did not want her to. Had she casted a spell upon him, bewitching him? There were so many questions running through his mind. A hunger, curiosity, burning in his veins like liquid fire.

Well, they say you’re a magic wielder, is that true or simply unfounded gossip?” He said playfully, walked closer to his stallion. Goliath rested his head on the Prince’s shoulder and closer his eyes, as if trying to show his love for his master. Damian patted Goliath’s head lightly. He cared for him, after all it was the last thing given to him by his father. One last memory...

“Aren’t you afraid I’ll curse you, Your Grace?” Was he attempting to provoke her? Did he notice she used her magic abilities? That was highly improbable though.

The Prince laughed. His laughter was warm and genuine, and he threw his head back as it shook his body. Emerald eyes sparkled darkly as they met hers again. “Princess of thorns. Accurately fitting. I take it is your first time in Nanda Parbat?” He asked with a smirk as he arched his dark and bushy brow.

Rhachel cocked her head on one side, considering his words. She had been thinking about cheating her way out of this sudden encounter, but now it seemed as if the Prince were requesting her company. “It is my first time out of Azarath. I came here for the tournament and...meet my betrothed.” She sighed, her last words hesitant. She was promised to another. She couldn’t lie to the crown prince. Although she absolutely dreaded the thought of going back to face Wallace.

Such a pity Damian thought. His eyebrows lifted at the words that came out of her mouth. “Betrothed? Who has the honor of becoming your husband?” He cautiously leaned down, towards her. There was an infuriatingly smug smile playing across his lips. His face was too close. Her cheeks were flushed.

“Wallace West, your Grace.” She replied automatically.

“You don’t seem to be particularly fond of him. Do you have much in common with a Wallace?” When her eyes met his again, this time, there was no amusement in those green orbs, seriousness took over him and she wondered if she said something to upset him. His previously relaxed features were now static. What game was the Prince of Shadows playing?

“A woman's interests should only extend so far as to care for her family and her husband.” She recited the words as if she had memorized them to answer the same question a hundred times. Speaking in a dispassionate tone. She was trying to make peace with her arrangement. The had to keep her distance from this prince. The seriousness was gone, a pleased smiled spread across his handsome face.

He smiled and his green eyes were those of a mischievous child. Rhachel Roth. Little Raven. He wanted to know the real her before determining his final decision about his betrothal. Ladies in court usually were so easy to read, the same overly practiced courtesy, the same fake delicacy. He could see through them. All the same. Now the lady in front of him, she seemed different. Puzzlingly, completely different. He straightened himself, towering over her, how come he seemed taller now. “Does the Princess need a escort?” He said the words with gritty determination, offering his hand to escort her back inside the palace.

She wished to take his hand. She had mixed feelings about it. This was inappropriate. She cursed in her head. If the court and visitors watched them walk inside together. There would be unavoidable gossip. She bit her lips, fearing her own reactions to his touch. “I don’t think that’s appropriate, your Grace. People will talk.”

He nodded and whispered into her ear, as If he were confessing a secret. “Let them talk.” She held her breath. She had to keep composure. She couldn’t succumb to desire or whatever he had awakened inside her. Something she never knew. Never thought about before now. She declined politely, she didn’t want to offend the prince. “I’d rather not risk it, your Grace.”

“As you wish.” Damian sighed in the same long-suffering way Rhachel did when being forced to attend her lessons. He reached towards The Azarathian girl taking her delicate hand, pressing a kiss atop it. “It was an honor to meet you, Rhachel.” His mouth in a suggestive smirk. She had to get away before she lost control of her senses. She shyly replied to his words before departing.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and letting the chill in the air cool her skin. She marched to the castle. Away from him. Her interaction with the prince proved to be dangerous to her self control and emotions. She was here to meet her betrothed. She had no desire to be a queen of Nanda Parbat, nonetheless she couldn’t help but blush at the way Prince Damian had looked at her.

~~~

Damian was standing at the impressive entrance of the fortified castle. It was time to head back to the feast, dance with a few ladies. He had one in mind, particularly he wished to share a dance with. He opened his mouth to call out his spymaster. Richard Grayson came out somewhere between the shadows. “your Grace?”

“I want to know everything about Rhachel Roth from Azarath. I leave the task to you.” Damian was frustrated, he liked being prepared, knowing things. This was rather unexpected.

“But Damian... I thought you had chosen Princess Donella.” Richard spoke quietly. Damian glanced up and met Dick’s questioning gaze. “It’s not a bad idea to have other options.” Damian said looking at his loyal friend. Richard had been a brother to him in all but name.

Many Ladies would want to be the next Queen, but keeping in mind his plans to dethrone his grandfather. He knew the danger he was putting his to be betrothed into, and the girl he was interested in was already promised to another. Nothing he couldn’t rearrange. She did not love the West heir after all. She would be forced to leave a West for an Assassin Prince. He hoped this would no scare her much.

So here’s part 2 but the next chapter will take time to write. Enjoy this Meanwhile. ❤️💜💜

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min-meowmeow · 5 years

Text

The Fairy Shirt

History Teacher Taehyung x English Teacher Reader

Fluff/Angst if you squint

Word Count: 9,514

Synopsis: Taehyung has been a massive flirt for as long as you've known him, but what happens when he finally drops the facade?

Reader is mad thirsty for Kim Taehyung and will deny it for the rest of their life.

---------------------------------------

"I don't understand," Taehyung muttered through a disgruntled swipe of his hand through the blue cardigan adorning his chest, "how students get glitter on everything!" He switched hands, left taking over for right while right fumbled under the sticky grip of the sparkly decoration. "We haven't even used glitter!"

You scraped the contents of your T.V. dinner —now turned lunch— into your awaiting mouth that then pressed into an unsatisfied frown. "They're fifth graders. Their blood is made of glitter."

"Well can they keep it to themselves." He rubbed exasperatedly against his sweater and yet, somehow, only more glitter stuck. The contained screech was just barely silenced by the grit of his perfectly white teeth.

The only other teacher in the lounge, Mrs. Lee, peered over the district's newly issued community magazine with a sour pout directed at the irritated 5th grade History teacher, but if Taehyung knew, he didn't particularly care. Her eyes followed him until his sullen figure fell into the 80s deco couch positioned just behind the small break room table you had taken residence in when the glorious lunchtime bell had rung not fifteen minutes ago. She only dropped her gaze when he dropped his head along the back of the couch, face disgruntled and glasses askew.

"This is the third sweater this week," he grumbled.

You peered over your shoulder to find the despondent man pathetically pouting with eyes delicately closed against the filtering of the sun through the turn of the century blinds covering the windows. A shimmer fluttered along the blue of his sweater with every breath that passed through his ridiculously sturdy chest while the scent of barely contained crayon wafted from the dredges of his clothing masking his usual scent of pine and coffee. “Did you, by chance, have Katie color anything today with her glitter crayons?”

One sullen eye popped open.

“Goddamnit, Katie,” he cursed.

Mrs. Lee’s head popped up again from her magazine, glare placed just above the rim of her glasses absolutely piercing into Taehyung who continued to ignore her. You, however, did catch her stare and decided to intervene before she tore through his precious blue sweater. Nonchalantly, you rose from your chair and dumped your leftover tray into the nearby trash bin before returning to extend a hand towards Taehyung.

“Come on, I have a lint roller in my room,” you offered in place of an explanation for your outstretched hand.

He eyed it then eyed you suspiciously, but not really. Taehyung had been glued to your side as diligently as unwanted glitter since the day you both started at the elementary school, so you knew any cantankerous reactions from him were simply for show. The gentle way his fingers delicately, almost fragile, wrapped around the expanse of your wrist proved this to be fact. It also accelerated your heart stupidly fast as if you were one of those love-struck kids you often shook your head at when they passed notes between them in class, but that was neither here nor there.

You pulled him to a stand and begrudgingly released your hold from around his skin before Mrs. Lee caught you lingering. Tae said nothing, rather simply proceeded to follow you out of the lounge where Mrs. Lee sighed loudly. Tae’s chuckle quickly drowned her out.

“She hates me,” he grinned beside you.

“She hates anyone who wasn’t alive when the dinosaurs roamed,” you quipped in return.

A loud chortle was this time forced from the confines of Taehyung’s chest that startled you only enough to jump slightly. Thankfully, no one else occupied the hallways that led back to your adjoining classrooms, the fifth grade hall empty save for the two of you and one stray janitor, so you were the only one surprised by his outburst.

You turned to him and caught his own cheerful gaze peering ahead, no sign of the annoyed man you had rescued from being told off by Mrs. Lee.

“Was it that funny?” you questioned.

He chuckled lowly this time, his lips pulled into an amused boxy smile. “Tyrannosaurus Lee.”

Your classroom door swung open easily when your key slid into the ancient lock revealing a mess of literature posters that you thought were hilarious, but your students begged to differ. Taehyung released a whistle of surprise at the bags of paper mache flowers and butterflies lying around your classroom in messy bundles of Spring Festival preparations. You ignored it all, stepping over a large flower stem your students were still in the process of finishing. Taehyung followed you inside but side-stepped over the decorations before stopping at your desk when you reached it with a sigh.

“I never get tired of seeing Shakespeare in MC Hammer pants,” he joked with a point behind you where the bard sat laminated in poster form.

“It’s what he would have wanted.”

A low mumble of affirmation followed Tae as he turned to peer across your vacant yet messy classroom while you began the search for the lint roller in the most logical place: your purse. Pushing aside your make-up bag, your wallet, a year old granola bar, and other miscellaneous snacks, you returned nothing in the way of a bright blue lint roller. Your nose scrunched at the center, mouth pulling in a sour pout.

“Please tell me you didn’t pay for all of this yourself?” Tae’s voice came as a distraction pulling your attention to where he stood next to the largest bag filled with miscellaneous spring bugs. His expression matched your disgruntled one.

You gave a deep sigh with a roll of your eyes. “Yep.”

“Why?”

“There wasn’t room in the budget this year for the Spring Festival, so we had to make due if we wanted to keep it,” you explained, turning to dig through your messy drawers for the sought after lint roller.

He made a weird, confused noise from across the room. “I thought parents were donating?”

“Wasn’t enough for decorations.” You closed one drawer a little harder than you intended before opening another. “We tried asking Principal Do for a little money, but he wouldn't budge. Said it wasn't a priority.”

Taehyung released a bitter laugh, knowing exactly what you meant. Every excuse you had both received from the administration had something to do with the fabled budget. There was never enough money to replace Taehyung's ancient and faulty overhead projector, but Mr. Won down the hall could get a brand new smart board for his Math class that he never uses. You had to carry the burden of your school’s yearly Spring Festival while the boy’s basketball team could have an end of the year party on the school’s dime. You were almost certain “the budget” was code for “go fuck yourself.”

“Ah, here it is!” You called triumphantly with the blue handle tucked securely in between your fingers.

Tae smiled gratefully as you extended it to him, taking it gingerly in his hand. He struggled a little bit in between rolls of the sticky substance along the fabric of his sweater, especially when he had to rip off a new clean sheet to pick up the remaining specks of glitter, but by the time Tae was done, he looked as clean as ever.

A sigh fluttered out from his rosy lips, expression at ease. “What would I do without you?”

“Walk around all day looking like a fairy,” you snorted.

“I’d accept looking like a fairy if I could commit to the aesthetic, but this,” he waved his hands over the cardigan once more, “ this is not suitable.”

“That may not be, but I’ve seen the majority of your wardrobe. You definitely have pieces in there that’ll work.”

He dropped the lint roller back on your desk. “Any suggestions?”

Your gaze held his in contempt with an unamused frown pulling the corners of your lips low. Tae, on the other hand, beamed at you with a trickster’s glint in his brown eyes. “That white button up with the green collar”

“The one with the flowers and butterflies?”

“That’s the one.”

“How is that appropriate for fairies?”

“Throw some glitter on there, you’ll be golden.”

“Nice to know you think about my clothes often.” He tilted his head to one side, brush of bangs sweeping across his tan forehead to deliver the most sultry stare you had ever received from him.

You grabbed the lint roller off your desk, twisting the handle under fidgeting hands. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

Taehyung leaned against your desk, hip pressed to the edge drawing your attention to the sly slant of his grin. His eyes softened around the edges when your gaze held strong with his. “Do you need help with the Spring Festival?”

“It’s almost done.” You shrugged.

“At least let me help set up, then.”

You tapped your foot against the edge of your desk opposite of Taehyung, your mouth twisted to one side in thought. On the one hand, you were touched that he offered to help when he didn’t have to, but on the other, you didn’t want to burden him with a project he didn’t sign up for just because you wanted an extra hand and maybe some eye candy to get through the grueling afternoon set up. Besides, you knew you wouldn’t be the only one ogling the vivacious redhead.

“You’ll just distract the PTA moms.”

The roll of his eyes was almost audible.

“Don’t avoid this by making jokes,” he whined, “That’s my job.”

“It’s fine.” You spun your swivel chair in a circle until it came to a stop facing him.

“If you deny me, I’ll stay anyway and really distract the PTA moms.”

“Why?” It was your turn to whine.

Taehyung gave you a chuckle. “So at least you’ll have someone to walk you to your car at night.”

A heat began to rise on the tips of your ears with the stutter of your heart at his words. Taehyung was an incredible flirt, but sometimes, when he dropped the flirtatious exterior and became genuine— even thoughtful—with you, it was just too much for your poor little heart. You felt that he sometimes acted that way to disarm you, perplex you, because he found it funny to see you stutter at his words or blush furiously at his small touches. At times you wished he would stop, but the majority of the time you wished he would go further than simple touches or the tame offer of walking you to your car.

“Teacher Kim? What’re you doing in here?” Ten year old confusion startled the both of you to turn to the door where you found a student you both dealt with standing just outside the threshold of your classroom. She peered at the two of you, a small crease appearing under her straight bangs that dangled over her suspicious gaze.

“Talking about fairies,” Taehyung winked conspiratorially at you.

The ring of the bell tore your gaze from Taehyung back to the entrance of your classroom. Vivi, to her credit, looked as confused as you suspected anyone would, but she simply shrugged and proceeded to her seat. A chorus of excited voices proceeding down the hall finally forced Tae to give you one last smile before exiting the room with another deliciously delivered “thank you.”

---------

Pastel colored streamers already dangled from constructed booths and systematically placed tables around the fake wood floor that creaked beneath your feet as you entered the school gymnasium with a huge chunk of wood balanced precariously along your toes. A small speaker somewhere among the mess played some generic pop song through the echoing walls, all of the committee members along with volunteers sorting and hanging the decorations that had been made by numerous classrooms and students. Your eyes scanned over the mess, a slippery anxiety slowly crawling it’s way up your esophagus.

You hated being on the Festival committee.

“Why is paper mache so heavy?” Taehyung complained from beside you, the three large bags of the decorations trailed behind him along with the legs of a step stool latched onto his shoulder until he came to a stop at your side, exhausted exhale passing through plump lips.

“I think it’s the glue,” you muttered.

He hummed as his eyes gave a cursory glance around the crowded floor with an indifferent expression. However, you could see that a lot more eyes were on you now that he stood beside you, a lot of thirsty, hungry eyes that were devouring him where he stood. Like with Mrs. Lee, you knew he was ignoring it, but you couldn’t.

“Come on, you’re already distracting them,” you grumbled, leading Taehyung away from the door to a small corner of the gym where no decorations lay.

At your last meeting, you had divided up the gym into game sections where everyone from the committee would set up their game and help run it during the event. You had gotten the bug toss, a run of the mill carnival ball toss game where participants had five chances to stack up as many points as they could by throwing a bug shaped ball into five openings on a board painted to look like a grassy field with a ladybug on the side. Your third period class had happily painted the board instead of learning the thrilling parts of speech, but you got to torture them with it another day anyway, so it didn’t really matter to you.

You propped the board up against the wall in a huff, your arms not long enough to properly carry such a large piece of wood, but you had been damned to let Taehyung do all of the heavy lifting. He had offered, oh how he offered, to carry literally everything from your room and had almost succeeded had it not been for his own hubris and a rather comical arm cramp. That’s when you had won and were allowed to carry at least one thing. You were sure he assumed you’d go for one of the bags, but you decided to challenge him instead. Your arms hated you for it, but your pride gloated.

He dropped the bags next to you then stood back to look over everything now on the floor. It was going to be a long afternoon.

“Where do we start, boss?” he asked, hands already ripping open the bag closest to him with glee.

You opted to open another bag, the one with the giant flowers and fake grass, and shrugged. “We just gotta make it look nice. Coherent.”

“Can do,” he grumbled.

Pulling out the paper grass first, you laid it out on the floor in a heap of pieces before taking a seat facing the wall where you were planning on taping them. The pieces were numbered, something your second period class had decided to do since the color of grass apparently went in a sequence of dark green to slightly lighter green, but you didn’t complain once you started sorting it. You found it odd how meticulous they had been, their pride exuding from their little faces when they approached you with the pile of colored paper. At least they had something to be proud of, you thought, as you began taping section by section along the glossy paint of the gym wall.

You noticed Taehyung take his position on the other side of the board with bug cut outs in hand, but no tape. You hadn’t thought far enough to grab two rolls of the gorilla tape, so you slid your only one over to him until it hit his foot quietly. He looked down, a goofy smile appearing across his face as he went to pick it up.

“We’ll have to go get more eventually,” he remarked as he ripped off pieces of the sticky fastener, alternating between sticking one piece of it on the board by his side then handing another piece for you to use.

You flattened your hand along the newly secured blades. “We’ll deal with that when we run out.”

Taehyung hummed, one vibrantly colored butterfly being pressed into the wall with the help of four pieces of tape. You both worked in quiet unity as you dealt with the lower section while Taehyung went for the higher stuff. You had to admit, it was rather peaceful having Taehyung with you, his presence making you feel less overwhelmed than you would have been had he not insisted on helping you.

As you worked, you continuously stole glances up at him as he moved back and forth between the bag of decorations and the wall. He had changed into sweats and a plain black t-shirt after the last of your wonderful students had left the building, the blue cardigan from earlier discarded into a gym bag he kept in his car for his work out days.

The shirt was loose, but hung over his frame so exquisitely that you could make out the working muscles in his back, the bulge of his biceps when he raised a paper mache lady bug up to the wall, and every once in a while, the dip of his collar bones when he bent down to retrieve more decorations. His sweats, while laced at his hips, showcased the curve of his ass so much better than any of the other pants he owned. You suddenly could really relate with those sexually repressed PTA moms.

“Like the view?” Taehyung asked without turning to you, but his voice was enough to snap you out of your reverie.

You turned back down to your work, hands securing an already secure piece of grass. “I’m just checking to make sure you’re doing it right.”

“Right.” Taehyung nodded, unconvinced. “Or maybe you’re cataloging this outfit since you’ve never seen it before, you know, because you always ignore my invitations to work out with me.”

You pushed yourself to stand once the final piece of grass was on your side of the wall. Next was going past the board and over to Taehyung’s side. “The only exercise I do is chasing my cat when he tries to steal student homework.”

You eyed the area by his legs, understanding that if he continued to work on the same side, you would end up being pressed between him and the wall. You decided to brush him away instead, ensuring that he was a few feet behind you before plopping back down on the floor.

“Your cat eats their homework?”

You pulled a few pieces of grass towards you. “I’ve had to write a few apology notes to parents.”

“That must have gone over well.”

“My cat’s an asshole.”

Taehyung crouched down next to you, the remaining pieces of grass firmly held in his palm along with all of the tape you had saved for the job. You gave him a confused pout that made him laugh, his body so astronomically close you could feel the vibrations from the action. “I can do these. Start putting up decorations on your side of the wall.”

Your pout revealed itself unallowed, but you pushed yourself to stand even if it was just to give yourself some space from the gorgeous man. He immediately took the seat you vacated with a grin and a wink up to you. Chills found their way up your spine as they often did when Tae looked at you like that and you found yourself cowering in awkward attention. “Th...the colors are numbered. Students made sure of it.”

The cocky grin fell to an endeared smile. “I know, fairy.”

If you turned any redder, you were sure you would wind up looking like the streamers adorning the first grade booth in the corner of the gym.

Your mouth set into a thin line that you attempted to turn into a smile, but thankfully Tae only winked and turned down to the task at hand instead of saying anything else. Without his attention, you felt it a little easier to breathe.

Focusing on your own task, you began dragging out the large flowers and bug cut outs left in the plastic bag you had chosen as yours. Your students had the most fun making the flowers, especially when it came to construct the paper mache stem to attach to the large flower heads they made out of many, many pieces of construction paper. More than a few of them had stuck the gooey pieces of newspaper to their friends instead of the flowers, but no injuries were incurred so you didn’t really care that much as long as it got done.

You settled the step stool firmly against the wall with one hand occupied with a bundle of cut out bugs. You then grabbed the tape and climbed up until you stood higher than the edge of the board settled between you and Taehyung. Your gaze fell down to him for half a second and that's when you noticed not so subtly that you stood at the perfect vantage point to gaze down Taehyung’s loose shirt like a pervy gawker at a Hooters. Cheeks sparked in rosy flames just in time for you to turn away before he noticed your reaction to the skin visible past the neckline of his shirt. It was his choice to wear such a loose shirt, you justified, unable to stop your mind from wondering what lay just beneath the dip of his collarbones.

Butterflies soared in your stomach along with shame at the mental image your mind produced for you. Obviously, you thought Taehyung was handsome and, obviously, you had maybe fantasized about him once or twice, but you couldn't understand why you were so thirsty for him now of all days. Maybe the slimy energy from the PTA moms was rubbing off on you.

Shaking your head of the thought, focus and attention turned back to the bug cut outs you were supposed to be taping to the wall. Quietly you cut off three pieces of tape then let the core slide down your arm until it settled against your elbow. Your fingers tentatively stuck two bugs haphazardly along the wall to give the appearance that they were flying with the other remaining cut outs flattened in the press of your thighs.

"Think I could get some more tape?" Taehyung pulled your attention from your work to find him with a hand extended up towards you.

You were dazzled for a minute by the look of his deep, brown eyes gazing up at you expectantly, but you quickly came back to your senses when he began to get up.

“Yeah sorry. Here--”

The heel of your right foot met air on your way off the step-stool finding you toppling backwards unexpectedly. Your heart shot up into your throat as the same step stool screeched against the polished wood and you didn’t even have a chance to try to save yourself by the time you met a softer surface than the floor. One that smelled suspiciously like pine needles and coffee.

Eyes grew wide when you realized who you were pressed against just in time for him to settle you on your own two feet, then turning you to face a very concerned expression on Taehyung's face.

“Are you ok?” he questioned, hands roaming over your arms, waist, and back in search of an injury.

The sensation of his hands on you jarred you enough to brush him off. “I’m fine.”

He ignored your complaints, instead holding your head firmly between his two palms, his bright brown eyes boring holes into your own through the sheen of his round glasses. You were so enthralled with his intense gaze, you didn’t notice his fingers until they flicked you across the forehead. “Watch where you step next time.”

Your response came in a grumbled “ow” that he only caught because he was still ridiculously close to you, but that was fixed when you pushed him away in retaliation, panicked eyes looking for the roll of sticky substance he had wanted only to find it a slight distance away.

“Can you help me get the tape? Please?”

He only shook his head, his hands brushing over your hair one more time before his footsteps squeaked their way along the wood floor to retrieve what you had accidentally dropped. You inhaled as many gulps of air as you could, heart jack hammering away in your frantic chest.

Taehyung returned a moment later, hand offering the roll of treacherous tape. “Here. I---”

“Mr. Kim? What’re you doing here?”

Both you and Taehyung turned to find the expensively beautiful mom of glitter enthusiast Katie Benton standing with hands perched on her hips and a Pan Am smile on her red painted lips.

Taehyung scratched the back of his neck. “Just helping out, Mrs. Benton”

“Oh, wonderful! If you don’t mind, I can’t seem to reach high enough to place this hook. Can you help me?” she asked with a perky grin.

“Sure thing." He nodded then turned to you, the roll of tape being tossed to your unexpected form. “I’ll be right back.”

You began scratching at the loose piece of tape, eyes focused heavily on his too charming smile. “Distraction.”

You watched him walk away with one last wink in your direction before he was engulfed by a throng of overly peppy suburban moms. They crowded around him like bottom feeders to a carcass laughing and placing perfectly manicured hands all over his shoulders and arms. Taehyung, for his part, mostly laughed as she strategically shrugged off one claw for another, but he never told them no. You believed he secretly liked it and no matter how much he denied it, and you were certain you would never believe otherwise.

Turning back to the pile of paper bugs and plants strewn around your feet, you gave a hefty huff of breath through your parted lips suddenly finding the work just a bit overwhelming without Taehyung by your side, but you knew it had to get done. You grumbled once more after Mrs. Benton and her hoard of middle aged Desperate Housewives before tucking in your resolve and getting to work.

--------

You couldn’t say you were particularly proud of the way your booth turned out—paper bugs unevenly placed on the wall, board propped up against two buckets filled with miscellaneous gym supplies, flowers crumpled and one halfway broken from your inability to stop them from falling—but given the lack of help and your overly exhausted body, it would have to make due.

Taehyung never returned to your booth after he got whisked away by Mrs. Benton, the poor man being passed around to many different booths depending on the lie the moms told to get him there. You watched it happen between your own tasks, begrudgingly muttering under your breath how nice it must be to be rich and shameless. However, you hadn't taken a look in quite a while and you weren't entirely sure if Taehyung was even still around. The thought hurt your heart a little bit, mostly because he had offered to walk you to your car at the end of the night, but you figured it was for the best.

After cleaning up your area as best you could, you wiped sweat and residue from the paper mache off on your already dirtied jeans glad that you would now be able to go home. Sweat dribbled it's way from your hairline as you gathered your things and you went to wipe it off when you turned and found Taehyung sauntering over to you. You would be lying if you said your heart didn't skip many beats, but you sure as hell wouldn't admit it, either.

"Finished already?" He asked and you only nodded, tucking the strap of your satchel bag across your chest. He threw a sturdy arm around your shoulders in response. "Let's get out of here, then. I'm tired of being their mule."

You laughed despite yourself, already making your way to the entrance of the gym. "You can be an ass sometimes."

"Are you saying that because I abandoned you?"

"Maybe."

"I'll make it up to you, fairy," he muttered. Unsure if you were supposed to respond, you ignored the statement.

Walking together through the gym and out into the almost empty parking lot was a quiet affair that found neither of you really wanting to break the silence. Tae still had his arm around you, the weight of it more comforting than you would care to admit, and you found yourself wishing it could stay wrapped around you forever.

You could imagine how secure you would feel lying under his arm at night snuggled deep into the blankets with Taehyung slotted behind you. His body perfectly fit against yours like two puzzle pieces meant to lay side by side with the delectable smell of his cologne mixed with the scent that was so undeniably Taehyung enveloping you. You could almost imagine how that warmth could change to a searing heat as he held himself above you, his same arms caging you in between his body and the mattress beneath you.

The thought of being pressed against his naked skin came so quickly that it clashed with the real reality you faced making you want to squirm away from him, unsure why the image of you two together was suddenly rearing its ugly head when you had never let your emotions get the better of you around Taehyung. He wasn’t really doing anything different, either. Maybe you were hormonal.

Your cars came into view at the end of the third row with your smaller silver Kia looking down right pathetic next to Tae’s bulky red camaro. You had joked once that it looked like a husky pitbull revving and rolling down the asphalt every morning at 7:30 AM. He didn’t appreciate it, but you got a good laugh out of it, so you considered the joke a win.

Tae’s arm fell from your shoulder when you stopped next to your car, shimmering flecks of multicolored dots glinting off his clothes and hair from the street lamp high above you. You smiled stupidly to yourself, hand unconsciously brushing away at the annoying craft supply. “You’re full of glitter again”

Tae gave one disgruntled look down, heavy sigh puffing against your face. “Seems Mrs. Benton likes it as much as her daughter.”

You leaned away from him to press your back against your driver’s side door. “She also seems to like you quite a bit, too.”

“Gross.” His nose scrunched in the middle. “She’s married.”

“That��s not stopping her.”

“Well, she can’t have me. I’m not that kind of man.”

“That you’re not,” you grumbled, tense fingers digging into the taut muscles of your shoulder as you gave the stiff joint a roll.

Taehyung’s head tilted, confused crinkle tucking his eyebrows closer together under the fringe of bangs. Soft hands ran up and down the length of your arms, sympathetic gaze and hushed baritone voice calling you to meet his eyes. “You ok?”

“Yeah, just a long day.” Your heart stuttered.

“I’m sorry.” He frowned, only to wipe it off with one of his best cocky grins. “Hopefully I made it a little more tolerable?”

Your eyes rolled halfway to the back of their sockets.

“Yes, Taehyung, your immense help this afternoon was great.”

“I said I’m sorry!” He whined.

“I’m kidding.” You grumbled, dropping your gaze from him to stare at your awkwardly shifting feet beneath you. “It was nice having you there. Being on committees like that freak me out. It was nice not dealing with all of that nonsense by myself.”

Fingers pressed under the dip of your chin forcing your eyes back to his and you noticed that he wore a soft expression again. The change in his temperament nearly gave you whiplash this time around, but his deliciously sweet smile pulled you right into him despite the dizzy feeling overtaking you.

“Well, I’m always of service. You know that. Just ask.”

You fought the blush, but felt it rising onto your cheeks nonetheless. “Thanks, Tae.”

His fingers kept a grip on your chin absolutely refusing to let you look down or away again. Your body jittered under the glow of the parking lot's hazy light with every pass of Taehyung’s brown eyes over your facial features, focus diligent as if he were trying to find a glitch in your code that would make you disappear as soon as he discovered it. Lungs felt tight making it almost difficult to breathe, but you didn’t move. You didn’t even try to look away.

A fond grin spread over the stretch of his lips as his hands moved to encompass your cheeks comfortably between his large palms. Eyes flashed down to your lips quickly startling your lungs to a near halt. He began leaning closer, hope spiraled and warred with dread in your bloodstream.

Then gently, his eyes dusted closed just as the plush of his lips warmed the space on the edge of your lips far enough to be mistaken for a peck on the cheek but close enough to prove that wasn't the case. Your hands balled into fists, unsure if your natural instinct was to push him away or pull him closer. You settled on neither, keeping your hands, instead, close against your sides as your mind reeled.

Shocked wouldn’t even begin to cover what you felt as Taehyung pulled away leaving the sensation of his satin lips pressed into the edge of your lips. Elated, yes; blindsided , most definitely, but above all else, you felt confused. Confused because Tae had never exhibited any form of physical touch before. At least not of the kissing variety. And it made you panic. Your face must have worn your feelings plain as day, because once Taehyung opened his eyes once more, the satiated expression disappeared leaving uncertainty in its wake.

“I---” he began, but you quickly brushed his hands off of you and turned your head to look anywhere that wasn’t at him.

“Don’t worry about it. Those PTA moms must have gotten you really riled up.”

“That’s not---”

“I’m gonna head out, Tae.” You pulled open your car door with more force than you intended, propelling your body into the seat before he could stop you. “See you tomorrow?”

He stood there dumbfounded, andalusite eyes the size of the moon on his masculine face. He stuttered a few times before settling his anxious mouth down into a defeated pout. “Yeah, see you tomorrow. Drive safe.”

You hummed in response and pulled the door away from him effectively locking you inside the safety of your moderately dirty Kia. He waved you off once you pulled away and you sped away from that parking lot as fast as you could, desperate to get home and bury the events of the night deep in your subconscious until you couldn’t reach them.

------------

You usually refrained from drinking a glass of wine on school nights, much less three, but the heat you still felt from your interactions with Taehyung today left you exhausted. Your mind felt numb along the edges while your vision remained only a little fuzzy. The ludicrously narrated nature documentary that played on your TV garnered a half-hearted chuckle from you every time the whiny man complained to his TV producer, but you weren't sure whether you actually found it funny because of the alcohol or just clever. If you suddenly blacked out, you wouldn’t particularly mind.

Tipping the lip of the glass into your mouth, you discovered that no wine remained in the cheap plastic. A frown presented itself on your pouty lips with a grumble following shortly after. You promised yourself only one glass, but you had broken that promise an hour ago. Now, you reached for the bottle nestled beside you on the floor, emptying the contents into the glass until the liquid almost reached the lip once more. It was the bottles turn to be empty, and you giggled as you dropped it on the ground.

The two fast buzzes from your phone dropped your smile from your lopsided lips as your eyes fell upon the glowing screen perched on your coffee table. You almost decided to ignore it, your attention falling back to the swarm of jellyfish on your T.V. screen as the narrator compared them to his vacuous coworkers, but something told you to check and see who it was.

The drunk part of you, mostly, who really wanted it to be Taehyung.

Struggling with the wine glass and your own imbalance, you reached over to the coffee table and snatched up the phone in unsteady fingers. You turned on the screen to find a text message awaiting you once you unlocked it, the name of the sender sending excited jitters down your spine.

Mr. Kim.

It was a picture.

Your eyes scanned over the photo he sent you hungrily taking in every detail you could of the man posed in front of a mirror wearing a velvety navy blue shirt over nice fitting black slacks. His hair appeared slightly tousled and a little wet from what looked to be a shower. You couldn’t help the way your mouth watered, eyes only catching the words below the picture after scanning the whole image twice.

[9:48 PM] Think I should wear this shirt tomorrow?

A crinkle formed on the bridge of your nose at the question.

[9:50 PM] You: Why are you asking me?

[9:51 PM] Mr. Kim: I was gonna wear the fairy shirt, but it’s dirty.

[9:51 PM] Mr. Kim: Help me pick out another one?

[9:53 PM] You: Why?

Suddenly your phone began buzzing in your palm with the same name of the man you did not want to speak to while inebriated flashing green across the glass screen. You hesitated in swiping to answer, but answered the call too quickly before he was sent to voicemail.

“It’s the Spring Festival tomorrow. I gotta look sparkly!” he offered in place of a simple hello, his voice sounding far too awake for someone who had to be back at work in seven hours.

“So Mrs. Benton can find you easier?” you grumbled.

“Jealous?”

“How about the rose pink button up? That’ll look good with gold glitter.”

“Nice change of subject.” You could hear the amusement in his voice being slightly rustled by what sounded like fabric being pulled over the speaker until it quieted and he gave a sigh. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more today. You were right. They’re vultures.”

“You liked it.”

“I would have liked being with you way more.”

“Stop being a flirt.” You dropped your head into your available hand, his words making your drunken cheeks burn hotter than before.

“I’m being honest! I like you so much more than all those PTA moms combined.”

You wanted to ask if that’s why he kissed you, but lost the courage. “That’s just because we’re on the same team.”

“That’s not the only reason.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Mmm, I’ll tell you tomorrow. Get some sleep. It’s gonna be another long day.”

He hung up the call before you could pester him into giving you an actual answer, leaving you sat in silence with only the company of the whiny British man on T.V. to help you make sense of your muddled thoughts.

-----

You hadn’t seen Tae all day. You weren’t avoiding him. Not necessarily. You just happened to be so busy with the Spring Festival preparation that had taken you out of your classroom before first period even began that bumping into Tae was almost impossible. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see him. You just hadn’t had the chance. Your freakishly early arrival and blatant ducking every time Tae made an appearance had nothing to do with it, either. At least that’s what you proclaimed to an imaginary judge and jury that sat judgmentally in your brain.

Heading into the afternoon portion of the Spring Festival, you yawned. It wasn’t a pretty yawn, a delicate yawn, something akin to a dainty fawn snuggled warm in a bed of roses. No, your yawn was ghastly, wide, and tumultuous as it fell from behind your pressed palm loud enough to call the attention of your two homeroom helpers, Vivi and Luisa. They giggled when you turned from them with a five minute signal, asking them to man the station while you took a small walk to the snack table by the stage on your right. Your first order of business: nabbing some sort of bread thing.

You weren’t worried about leaving the two girls behind. After all, they were two of your favorite students, hard working and diligent, and they often made it a habit to linger by your room when they had free time. You trusted them without a doubt. And they liked you enough to stick with you for all six hours of the festival without complaint. It was a good little thing you had going.

However, it was because of their favoritism towards you, no doubt, that they picked up on your downcast demeanor that morning when they showed up to help. They asked if you were sick, and you had to contend that, no, you weren’t you were just tired. They then proceeded to tease you, asking if you were tired because you had stayed up all night with Mr. Kim. You let them live with that lie, because even that was better than the truth.

What you didn’t tell them was how viciously hungover you were from that bottle of wine the night before, the stench of the sugary liquor still stuck in your nostrils. All because of their second favorite teacher, Mr. Kim.

Gingerly, you nibbled on a piece of Graham cracker you snuck from the donations box hidden under the snack table, hoping that it would stave off the nausea you so vehemently felt. This is why you didn't drink often, you kept telling yourself, present you chastising past you for putting you in this kind of predicament. And the day before the Spring Festival, come on really? You almost wanted to go back in time and slap the wine bottle out of your past selves hand. This was cruel and unusual punishment. You felt so bad that the very idea of crawling under the snack table to stop the world from spinning seemed like a viable option.

But you didn't. Because you were an adult. And people were watching.

Instead, you cast your eyes outward over the crowd of happy children and mildly annoyed parents taking inventory of those you had met before and those you’ve never seen in your life. You could make out the teachers in the room just by body language alone and the way they all kept to the edges of the commotion with watchful eyes trained on their group of homeroom rugrats. It was then that you spotted a familiar face, the one you weren't intentionally hiding from, strolling your way through the mess of people that were currently crowding up his gym.

You noticed the handsome, young gym teacher before he noticed you, but when he did notice, a bright smile overtook his charming face as he approached you at the table, a hoard of small plastic cups filled with the sugary beverage provided by Mr. Park's homeroom nestled just behind you in your own treasure pile. Just like a magpie.

“Hey Jungkook.” You waved happily at him as he arrived, your own smile mirroring his bright one.

“Hey, Teach. How’re you doing?”

You hummed through a piece of graham cracker. “Hungover, but don’t tell anyone that.”

“Secrets safe with me.” He motioned an x over his heart, ensuring you that he wouldn’t tell anyone. It made you giggle a little bit.

Jungkook was one of your colleagues that you actually, genuinely liked as a person. He was funny in a dorky, charming way that often left you endeared to him after speaking with him for a handful of minutes. He also never took himself too seriously and was not afraid of being the butt of a joke if it meant others around him would be happy. His looks didn’t hurt either because, shit, was the man hot. That was neither here nor there though, as you actually saw him as a close friend, not a potential romantic interest.

However, not everyone crowding in the gym felt the same as you did towards the younger gym teacher. If you thought the PTA moms were being vicious with Taehyung, you had another thing coming when they locked their sights on poor, defenseless Jeon Jungkook.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked whilst you subtly eyed every thirsty mom who threw longing gazes Jungkook’s way.

He awkwardly shrugged. “You know, checking stuff out.”

“Hiding?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

You raised the half eaten Graham cracker to your mouth, nibbling on an edge like a gerbil. “Tae had the same problem last night.”

Hearing this, Jungkook's expression opened like the floods unleashed on an unsuspecting biblical village. His eyes grew wide, mouth hung ajar in bewilderment as he groaned. “Dude, they’re vultures. Like can’t they buy vibrators or something?”

“I’m sure they have plenty."

“Oh, that’s a mental image I did not want."

“You gave it to yourself,” you snickered.

He only winced.

You continued to nibble on your sweet treat as you and Jungkook fell into silence once more. Well, as silent as you could be in a room full of kids and parents all pretending they didn't mind the nauseating Baby Shark playing over the speakers. You almost wanted to ask Jungkook if he could watch your booth for a minute while you suffered in true silence somewhere else, but a figure strolling into the gym made you pause. Body growing tense as eyes cast downward to avoid him seeing you staring at him.

Jungkook, for all the good he was, bent down so his mouth was closer to your ear level. “Looks like I’m not the only one hiding.”

You flashed him a glare. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Did something happen with you and Mr. Kim?”

“I’m gonna feed you to the vultures.”

It was his turn to snicker as he caught sight of Mr. Kim looking around the gym, no doubt looking for you. He wasn't sure what the situation was between you two at the moment, but he knew sexual tension when he saw it and fuck was it rolling off the two of you whenever he caught you guys talking.

Jungkook watched Mr. Kim, Taehyung, seemingly attract to you like a moth to a very enticing flame and he wasted no time in b-lining straight for the pair of you when he did catch sight of you gnawing on the graham cracker. You refused to lift your head to watch him make his way over and Jungkook had half a mind to stay quiet just to see how this would play out. For amusements sake, of course.

He found it best to warn you before you punched him for not warning you. “He’s coming over. Give me a signal if you need to be rescued”

You very nearly told him to fuck off. In front of the students.

“Hey! There you are!" Taehyung's voice interrupted your angry thoughts calling your attention to him rather than the annoyingly mischievous gym teacher.

“Hey,” you muttered, enthusiasm lost on the syllable.

Taehyung didn't notice. Instead, he stretched one arm away from his body, the other tucked behind his back, as a shit eating grin plastered itself on his gorgeously tan face. “So what do you think? Fairy enough?”

“Why’s your hand behind your back?”

“Ah. See.” He cleared his throat, then swept his arm out to reveal a pretty red rose, freshly cut. “Some students felt generous enough to give me a rose they won, but with one caveat: I had to give it to you”

You could blame your reddening cheeks on the hangover, but that would be a lie. Blaming the sudden wave of nausea on the hangover would be a lie too. “What? Tae, you don’t have to it’s fi---”

“I really owe them for this, actually. Didn’t have the guts to just outright say it,” he grinned right through your stuttering response.

“Say what?”

Instead of answering, he extended a hand out to you-the hand without the rose-and shifted his grin into a charmingly shy smile you couldn’t exactly resist.

“Come take a break with me. I’m sure Jeon won’t mind watching the booth for a few minutes.”

“I---” you stammered, brain all but pudding in your cranial cavity so much so that you couldn’t even resist. All you could do was look back to a very pleased Jungkook who looked like the cat that caught the canary. “Kookie, do you mind?”

“Remember you’re still at work, please?” he winked.

“That’s not---we won’t---”

“No promises, Jeon.” Taehyung waved him off as he grasped your hand in his.

You swore you heard entertained snickering as you walked away from Jungkook, but it could also have been the beehive swarming in your ears that produced the noise. You weren’t sure. You also weren’t sure how you ended up in front of Taehyung’s classroom given that you didn’t even remember leaving the gym. You were quite surprised you made it out without any big issues, if you were being honest.

Tae unlocked the class then swiftly pulled you inside before locking the door once again, probably so no one would bother you. Your confusion only grew when you came back to yourself fully and realized that you were alone. With Taehyung. In his classroom. And he looked amazing. As always, but still. Nerves began to grow despite you trying to stop them.

“Tae, what’re we doing in here?” you turned to him in bewilderment, but he left no room for a verbal response.

Eyes grew the size of cathedral windows when you felt the soft press of his honey mint lips against your very chapped ones. Your body froze in the moment as you took it all in, the absurdity of the situation unfolding before you.

There you were, dressed in messy jeans and a rumpled t-shirt with a vicious hangover paling out your complexion. Your hair was, no doubt, a horrendous rat’s nest and your breath, no doubt, tasted of expired alcohol and graham crackers. And you were kissing Taehyung. Taehyung, the man who stole your heart slowly without you noticing. Taehyung, the man who you never would have guessed wanted you in the way you wanted him. Taehyung, the man you swore was going to be just your friend for the rest of your life. You were kissing Kim friggen Taehyung. Or rather he was kissing you. Because you couldn’t fucking move an inch with your body set to stone from anxiety alone.

You wanted to fall into a deep hole of self loathing. That is until Tae’s large hand came to press against the back of your head, his tongue giving your bottom lip a bold swipe and you were lost.

To hell with insecurities, the kiss felt damn amazing.

You weren’t bold enough to dig your fingers into the loose shirt adorning his torso, but you did allow yourself the comfort of falling into his body with every inch of your chest pressed tightly against his own. The surroundings faded the longer the kiss went on until you both forgot where you were along with the even more pressing issue of what you two were doing being absurdly inappropriate.

Because it was absurdly inappropriate. If the school principal caught you...

It seemed that thought, covered in images of the school principal firing both of you, added the cold dose of reality for you and you softly pushed Tae away until only your breaths mingled. He chased your lips desperately, yet you kept your steady palm resting along the flat plains of his chest until he was able to look at you with clear eyes.

You didn’t dare verbally ask the question that was raging in your mind, but you were shit at hiding your emotions, so you knew Tae was able to read every last word on your perplexed expression. He sighed after a few heartbeats, eyes falling for a second to the crumpled rose on the floor then rising back up to meet yours.

“I like you. A lot. So much.” He gulped, unsteady lungs pumping unsteady breaths across the expanse of your face. “I’m sorry I’m being so forward about this. I’ve tried...so hard to show you how I feel, but I could never tell if you understood. You always look at me with those damn doe eyes...I didn’t want to take a chance anymore. I like you.”

Utter sincerity dripped from his expression, yet you could do nothing but remain silent. So many emotions warred within you from elated to cautious then circled right around to fear and dread. You didn't know how to interpret all of them at once, so all you did was stare back at him like, well, a deer in the headlights. It made Taehying anxious, tongue running nervously over his bottom lip, hand clenching in a fist where it came to rest on the wall behind your head. “Please say something.”

You gulped. “Tae...we work right next to each other”

“I know.”

“If this doesn’t work out…”

“Trust me, I know.” he sighed, very nearly relieved as he rested his forehead against yours. “But, last night...when I kissed you...I knew I couldn’t get around it anymore. Vivi and Luisa just helped push me along, I guess.”

Hearing the name of your two students made you pause and pull away from him, mind working overtime to figure out when in the hell they had time to do that. “They gave you the rose?”

“Told me to just tell you I loved you already.” His laugh turned into a bewildered expression when he caught the shocked stare you gave him. “Don’t freak out. I’m not saying I do--- but totally not saying I don't ...although that’s the natural progression right? If this works out and we---”

His nervous chattering quieted with the layer of your lips against his, which was exactly what you wanted. You weren't worried of him loving you or not loving you, at least not yet. You just got him. You wanted to explore your relationship first. Just the way you never wanted to stop exploring his delicious mouth. But, when you started grinning at the thoughts of all the things you would get to do with each other, you knew you had to stop and set the record straight.

A cheesy grin spread across your mouth when you noticed how pacified he looked.

You couldn’t help but give him a single peck. “I like you too, dummy.”

He hummed. “You do?”

As an answer, you resumed where you left off absolutely living for the soft slide of your lips that worked in tandem while, unaware, somewhere out on the school grounds were scores of parents, teachers, and your boss who were all none the wiser of what was happening in the fifth grade History teacher’s classroom. It almost made you laugh with nervous excitement were it not for Taehyung's arms slipping around your waist.

He pulled you flush against his body until you could feel every firm, toned muscle under his goddamn self proclaimed fairy shirt. He was radiating a comforting heat you couldn't get enough of. You wanted to run your hands over his warm skin, slip your greedy fingers under the offensive fabric and see how it feels to have Taehyung under your fingertips. How he would squirm under you, but you refrained.

After all, you were still at work.

He pulled away from you first with a look of nervous intent in his eyes you couldn’t quite read. After a confession like the one he just gave you, you weren’t sure why he would be unsure of himself now. Yet, there he was. You softly brushed your thumb over the glistening saliva surrounding his mouth, hoping to give him a little courage.

“Wanna come over to my place tonight?”

This time, you were the one unsure. “Tae--”

“Not for that,” he laughed, then tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, all tenderness in his smile. “I want to make you dinner. Have an actual date with you.”

You wouldn't be able to stop the jack hammering in your chest even if you tried. And you didn't try. Because those words, this feeling, were exactly what you always wanted with Taehyung. You couldn't deny yourself any more.

“I would love to.”

#taehyung scenarios #kim taehyung scenarios #bts scenarios #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung fluff #v fluff #bts v fluff #bts v scenarios #v scenarios #bts #kim taehyung #taehyung fic #kim taehyung fic #v fic #bts v fic #fluff #angst if you squint

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thesaltyace · 3 years

Text

big rant/ramble below, you can safely ignore and move on to the next post in your feed.

Urgh

I shared the results of that autism screener with a quasi-friend who I thought would be "safe" (we used to work together and we connected over his being gay and me being visibly queer) but his response was blergh

Everyone has hints of autism.

okay yeah but this isn't just *hints* of autism. I'm answered yes to symptoms I've had since I was a kid that I've learned to mask or work around as an adult. But I still struggle with them.

He pointed out that he sees me as more ADHD than ASD.

Yeah, fair, and I'd need to see a professional to try to distinguish if my symptoms are ADHD, ASD, or both.

You don't hit the three prongs needed for a diagnosis.

But.... but I do. And the stuff I dealt with as a kid is still stuff I deal with today. I just mask it better. A short and not exhaustive list:

As I kid I had trouble interacting with peers. I didn't have friends, really. I didn't know how to make friends and I didn't try terribly hard to. I acquire friends when someone else "adopts" me and decides that we are friends. And once I became an adult, I have almost never had friends of my own - I share a friend group with my spouse who we're primary connected to through him. I'm okay with that. Maintaining a friendship entirely on my own power sounds impossible and exhausting.

I was okay with not having friends, I liked being alone, but my mom insisted on me being social. She made me join things so that I would have a list of people to invite to parties. I'd honestly have preferred a day of doing stuff I like or just a couple friends. As an adult, I want to be alone on my birthday. I will celebrate with certain friends, separately, usually over a quiet meal. That's it.

I had trouble understanding sarcasm and figurative speech. Like, I understand it now but I still think most figurative speech is annoying. I've been told the way I deliver sarcasm is weird, too.

I liked memorizing movies and quoting them start to finish, I thought it was fun but everyone else thought it was weird. I continued to do this into adulthood but I only quote aloud when I'm alone. Alamo Drafthouse quote-alongs are the BEST. I don't do this with every movie, either, just ones I really like.

Okay actually I also liked to listen to the same album or, in some cases, the same song over and over until I was sick of it (and sometimes even after that point). I mean, just endlessly looping on repeat. Not interspersed with other songs. I do this as an adult a LOT because it's easier with headphones to do this without annoying everyone else around you. Like, often it's fine for me to just put a playlist on shuffle, but I get into Moods where I just want the one album/song over and over. Yesterday I listened to Wellerman about 50 times in a row and only stopped because I had to get up and do something else and that song wasn't "good" for whatever I got up to do.

My special interest as a kid was cats. Literally everything cats, all the time - I sought out obscure facts and could tell you the difference between similar species, and wanted cats involved in literally everything I did. Adults laughed it off as childhood obsession. I was also pretty obsessed with the solar system. I thought asking my peers, as a trivia question, which of Jupiter's moons had its own asteroid (Io, in case you were wondering) was appropriate and interesting and was confused that they didn't know that. That was in fifth grade.

I watched the weather channel for fun. I would watch it for hours and absorb the weekly forecast info just... for fun? I never used it, could never tell you if you should dress a certain way or bring an umbrella or whatever. Everyone thought it was weird.

I was a know-it-all and literally could not stop myself from bluntly correcting people who were wrong. Didn't know or care that it was "rude". I'm still that way but I've learned how to sometimes swallow the urge long enough to find a more tactful way to point it out (but often fail).

I could read on my own before kindergarten, used vocabulary beyond what one would expect for my age, and had a special interest in spelling and grammar throughout my school years. I did not understand how other people weren't interested in learning about it and getting it right. I read at an undergrad level by 4th grade.

I hated loud noises and often covered my ears to block out irritating sounds. I could also hear high pitched noises that even other kids didn't seem to hear (or at least weren't bothered by them). Too much noise sent me into an internal meltdown, I'd just kinda shut down because I couldn't deal with it.

Textures and pressure on my skin bothered the absolute fuck out of me - sock seams, certain fabric materials, socks that weren't equally elastic, one shoe tighter than the other, tags.... all of that. (Also, fun anecdote I just unlocked - when I was 4 or 5 my grandmother started letting me use the soft silk sleep shirt she had as a young woman because I preferred it to anything else. Soft, smooth, no irritating qualities. Bliss. I wanted to wear it all the time.)

Don't get me started on food. Until I was in COLLEGE I mostly subsisted on pasta with either butter or alfredo sauce and chicken. I would eat other things, but pasta and/or chicken was (and still is) my biggest safe/comfort food. I'd eat other stuff mostly if I could control the balance of ingredients, get it made plain, or could confirm the texture wouldn't be offensive (so, like... plain burgers, plain cheese pizza, grilled cheese, mashed potatoes, etc.) I cannot stress this enough - from childhood through COLLEGE I did this. As a kid my mom had to make me a completely separate dish most nights to get me to eat something. My spouse was horrified at what little variety I ate. The only reason I eat so much variety now is that he knows what I do/don't like and tells me in advance if I'll find a texture or taste offensive. Of course, rather than wanting consistent texture like I did when I was younger, I now seek as much texture as possible (so long as they aren't Bad textures) so.... that's fun. But yeah most of my objections to Yucky foods is due to T E X T U R E. Even if I like the taste, the texture overrides it all.

I prefer animals to people. I will seek out animals and interact with them instead of people in the same room. And will pointedly focus on the animal to avoid interacting with people.

I'm perfectly happy with only myself for company. Being with just my spouse counts as me being "alone" though. Always has. I just realized last night that it's because I do minimal to no masking around him because he's a safe person to unmask with and always has been. Never batted an eye at the weird shit I do beyond asking questions about what I was doing or why. And then just "Okay."

Okay honestly just the fact that I want to vent into the void of tumblr instead of actually discussing this with a person - even my spouse! - pretty effectively shows how little it occurs to me to interact with other people directly. o_0

And there are so many more things that I won't list here because I could just go on and on. And like, sure, some of this may certainly overlap with ADHD but my point is that I have enough to point to ASD that it doesn't feel like having a "hint" of autism. And who knows - maybe it is mostly just ADHD and CPTSD stuff interacting in weird ways. Could be!

But just because I can make small talk and make eye contact and do the "normal" shit and I can interact "normally" doesn't mean I LIKE it. I had to LEARN to do those things to avoid having bad social interactions. When I'm by myself or with my spouse, I behave very differently than I do around anyone else. ANYONE. It's not just slightly changing my behavior depending on who I'm with - it's completely suppressing how I naturally would do things if left to my own devices.

Like, the things we recommended to our autistic students who wanted to know how to interact in ways that would help them blend in/be accepted by others ARE THE EXACT THINGS I ALREADY DO. Like, it did not occur to me at the time that neurotypicals literally do not have to think about doing those things. I thought, ah, these students just need to be told what the tricks are. Other people figure these tricks out on their own. It did not occur to me that other people, in fact, do not learn these tricks because they naturally do that behavior. They do not have to actively think about learning the trick, period. I literally thought other people also have to think as hard as I do about interactions. Evidently not.

So yeah, I'm feeling a little upset about the reaction I got from him because I'm like.... honestly, a diagnosis of ASD wouldn't change a lot about how I do things or think of things. But it would make me feel better about interacting with and participating in autism-related stuff if I am actually autistic. I realize I can use the resources and supports meant for ASD regardless, and for formal supports anything I can access due to my ADHD diagnosis likely covers anything I'd need for ASD. But having a diagnosis opens up more community. Right now I'm like yeah I'm ADHD but I totally relate to this ASD content. But I'm not going to interact much because I feel like I don't have the right to join in since idk if I do have ASD.

idk I have a lot of feelings. I had a bad email about the trans insurance coverage thing yesterday and I'm not in a great headspace, but finding out me and my spouse both scored very high on the autism screening stuff was honestly a high point because we ended up sharing a lot of how we view and interact with the world that was very eye-opening about why we interact the way we do, how we relate to others (and how other people think we're weird for how we relate to others), and just...everything. And having someone be skeptical after I've spent a lot of time trying to convince myself that I DON'T have ASD only to conclude that at the very least, I should probably be evaluated because I can't reasonably rule it out. Like, most people do not wonder if they have autism. The fact that I am spending this much time looking into it and trying to find examples to disprove it only to find I overwhelmingly can't in virtually every single diagnostic category.... just..... dismissing it outright is kinda hurtful.

Like, I recognize that ADHD symptoms overlap a fair bit, but seriously. My spouse (who definitively does not have ADHD) scored almost identically to me and we vibed on almost everything when we compared answers. We see most things similarly. We have similar areas of confusion about other people and for fundamentally similar reasons. I can't imagine all of the stuff that points to ASD for me is just ADHD in disguise, not when I vibe THAT HARD with someone else. Spouse does not vibe with me on ADHD content. At all. He can appreciate it since he does live with me, after all, and observes whatever's being discussed. But he doesn't vibe with it. He vibes with autism content, though. And I vibe with both.

idk this rant ended in rambling and I'm just going to go listen to Inside on repeat for a couple hours while I try to calm down a bit. o_0

#rant over #for now #I've actually been listening to Inside for the last twenty minutes already lol #maybe I'll try to nap #idk #blergh #yay Shit is playing now and I'm like LOL cause I did wake up at 11:30 feeling like shit #woot #what a bop #I'm like hell yeah you get it #let's vibe

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