#so here I am hauling butt to finish writing this

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Agent Peña

Summary: You and Javi are unpacking as you move into your new house, when you come across something unusual in one of the boxes. Surprise, it's Javi's old tac vest, and boy, do you need to show him how good he still looks in it.

Word Count: 5.3K (I'm surprised it's not longer, I could write a thesis about this vest)

Pairing: Husband!Javier Peña x Wife!reader (no used of y/n, reader's nickname is Osita)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) BOY OH BOY- unprotected p in v sex (be better pls), oral (m receiving), face fucking, mastrubation (f), big ole praise kink, creampie, cum play (ig??), soft dom!Javi (still being our consent king as always), Javi lifts reader up on the dresser and holds her hair, Javi's got a FILTHY mouth, THE VEST STAYS ON LADIES AND GENTS (gn)

A/N: ....Well.... Here we are. This idea has been rotting in the back of my brain for SO long, and I am finally ready to serve my time in horny jail 🫡 As y'all know, Javi's tac vest is deeply important to me, and it only feels right to support my namesake as such by sharing my deeply dirty thoughts of getting absolutely obliterated by this man in that stupid fucking vest. If you know me, no you DON'T, please do not make eye contact with me for the next 7-10 business days. 🤪

This can be read as a stand alone, or as a part of the It's Never Too Late Series!!

“Are you sure this is the last box?” 

“Yes, Hermosa, I’m positive.”

“Well, that was your answer 3 boxes ago, Jav.” 

You laughed to yourself, hauling what was supposedly the last cardboard box out of the back of Javi’s truck as you followed behind him into your new house. Your official move in day had finally come, and while you and Javi had been periodically transporting things from your apartment to the new house since it had been finished with construction, today was the last day on your lease, and the first day of your forever in your new home together. While you couldn't have been more excited to finally be in a real home of your own with Javi, you were much less excited about the 47 trips you had made in and out of the house, hauling boxes to and from Javi’s truck, and unpacking your entire existence into your new living space. 

You let out a little grunt as you set down the box into the mountain-like pile that had accumulated in your living room, Javi sneaking up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist as he planted a soft kiss on your shoulder. 

“You promise this was the last one?” You giggled, your voice oozing with sarcasm as you gave Javi a playful nudge while he held you in his grasp. 

“Promise.” He laughed, giving you a squeeze, only making you squeal and squirm even more. “Hopefully unpacking shouldn’t take too long, I’ll start moving the heavier shit upstairs and in the garage, and I’ll come help you down here when I’m done.” 

“What, are you saying I'm not strong enough to carry the heavy boxes? Rude.” You teased, spinning around to face him, crossing your arms over your chest, one eyebrow raised. 

“You know that’s not what I’m trying to say, you dork.” Javi sighed, rolling his eyes at your utter lack of seriousness in response to his comment. 

“I don’t know… Sure seems like it to me… I just don’t think that- HEY! PUT ME DOWN! STOP, STOP, YOU MEANIE!” You screeched, flapping your arms in hysterical laughter as Javi slung you over his shoulder, trapping you in the only way he’d figured out how to get you to stop with your never ending sass- tickling you until you were close to tears. “Fine, I- Javi! Stop! You win! You win! Let me go, you butt!” 

“Did you just call me a butt?” He snorted, setting you back down on the ground, smirking at the goofy grin on your face as you tried to recompose yourself, post tickle torture. 

“I would have come up with a better insult if I wasn’t close to almost peeing my pants.” You grumbled, sticking your tongue out at Javi, the two of you trying your best to keep from bursting into laughter again. 

“Will you just go start unpacking, weirdo? The sooner we’re done, the sooner we can go break in the new bed.” He smirked, biting down on his lip, his eyes looking you up and down with a mischievous sparkle. 

“Oooorrrrrr… We could just go break it in now and unpack later?” You shrugged, placing your hands on Javi’s chest, grabbing a fist full of the soft cotton of his worn t-shirt as you pressed up on your tiptoes and placed a kiss on his pouty lip. 

“As much as I want to,” He paused, pressing his lips back into yours, feeling the smile of his smug grin, “If we go now, there’s no way all of this is ever getting unpacked.” 

“Ugh, fine. You win again, Mr. Reasonable.” You frowned, giving him one last quick kiss before pulling away to search through the endless sea of cardboard to sort where each box needed to go. You reached down, hoisting up one labeled “bedroom” and resting it on your hip, pointing to the scratchy scribbles of Javi’s handwriting. “Look! I’m already going to the bedroom, soooooo…” 

“Osita…���   

“Fine, fine. You better move those boxes fast. Rude to keep your wife waiting like this, ya know.” 

“Will you please just go unpack, Hermosa?” He sighed, laughing and shaking his head, hiking up two boxes, heavy enough to make his biceps flex and the veins in his forearms incredibly noticeable. You could almost hear yourself audibly gulp as you watched him walk up the stairs, the muscles of his back flexing and straining deliciously against the gray cotton of his t-shirt. 

“Jesus fucking Christ…” You muttered to yourself, in awe of your husband’s sheer broadness. So in awe, in fact, that you hadn’t even realized you had let your box slip from its place resting against your hip onto the living room floor, making you jump and startle yourself, scrambling to try and pick it back up in hopes that Javi hadn’t noticed. 

“You okay, baby?” Javi shouted from halfway up the stairs, peeking his head over the railing to see what had happened. 

“Yup, yup, totallyyyyy fine, all good, just going to unpack, nothing to see here.” You mumbled, darting down the hallway, eyes peeled in whatever direction was the exact opposite of Javi. 

Oof. You better find a way to become the world’s fastest unpacker. 

Thankfully, you and Javi seemed to make an unspoken pact to unpack in separate parts of the house to avoid distracting each other, Javi now working on organizing things in the garage while you worked on sorting all of the things that belonged in your master bedroom. Clothes and sheets had been easy to put away compared to all of the pots and pans you had unboxed in the kitchen before this, working your best to put things away as fast as you could with keeping the metal clashing and clanging to a minimum.

 As you dragged the last box labeled “Master Bedroom” into your room from the hallway, you were curious what kind of contents could be inside, considering you’d put away all of yours and Javi’s clothes, and whatever bedding belonged in your room. You spun the box around to each side, looking for any more clues, until your last turn, where you found “Javi DEA” printed on the upper corner. 

You paused for a moment, letting your fingers drum across the tattered cardboard, questioning whether or not you should leave it for Javi to deal with, or open it up for yourself. You gently chewed on your bottom lip as you internally debated, trying to rationalize with yourself before quite literally opening up a box into Javi’s past.

You had heard about the good, bad and ugly that had been Javi’s life in Colombia before returning home to Laredo, so you would be shocked to find something in this box that Javi really didn’t want you to see. 

It’s not like there was anything he’d be trying to hide from you in there, right? Probably just a bunch of badges and paperwork, anyways. 

With a little sigh and a shrug, you carefully ripped down the seam of the tape holding the box together, slowly lifting the cardboard flaps to reveal the contents inside. As you peeked into the box, you let out a little huff of relief to find out that your suspicions were correct- nothing but file folders, old badges and ancient coffee mugs with DEA symbols slapped across the front. 

You began making your way through the box, sorting its contents into piles for Javi to go through once he was finished in the garage. Even though majority of the items inside the DEA box were less than thrilling (unless you had a thing for reading 50 page long contracts full of legal jargon), you did get a kick out of Javi’s old badges, giggling at his grumpy frown that seemed to be plastered across his face in every picture he took from the time he started, until he retired. What cracked you up even more was finding the badges from the first few years Javi must have started working for the DEA, still sporting his signature pout, but with a clean shaven baby face you had only had the pleasure of seeing from the photo albums of Javi's youth that his father, Chucho, had so lovingly offered to share with you.

You gave the picture a sweet smile before setting it down with the rest of the badges in the growing pile, mindlessly reaching back into the box to pull out what you assumed would be more file folders full of paperwork. Except this time, you felt your fingertips graze against what felt like tough and worn fabric, dragging your hand further along the cloth until hitting a patch of scratchy velcro, making you cock your head in confusion. You scooted yourself over closer to the box, peering under the few manilla folders left inside to spot an army green strap popping out from in between them. 

Now very much intrigued, you dug your hand between the sea of papers, yanking on the mystery item to reveal a deep olive green vest, followed by a few crinkled pictures that must have been stuck inside it, gently fluttering to the floor in front of you. You set down the much heavier than expected vest to pick up one of the photos face down on the carpet, only to turn it over and feel your jaw practically drop to the floor and eyes bulge out of your skull. Because in that picture, was not just any photo of Javi from his time in Colombia, this was a photo of Javi, in the very vest that you had dug out from the bottom of his box. 

And holy fuck did he look hot. 

Frantically, you picked up another photo that had fallen to the floor, feeling your heart legitimately skip a beat to find it was another shot of him in the vest, his dark curls sticking to his forehead from the sweat soaking his skin and the light blue button down underneath it, hands resting on the hips of his dark gray khaki pants that left very little to the imagination. You flipped over one last picture, only to find the same, breathtaking visual of him in that damn vest, his biceps straining against the sweat-stained cotton of his army green shirt, the veins in his forearms prominently on display as he held the gun he was carrying pointed at the ground. 

While you had never seen these photos, or even known about this mystery vest until today, there was a part of you that was glad you hadn’t- the way Javi looked suited up in that vest had your head reeling in a way you weren’t sure you’d ever recover from, because Jesus Fucking Christ, it was the hottest goddamn thing you’d ever seen. 

Your eyes darted back and forth between the three photos, each picture somehow looking better than the last every time you found a new detail to drink in that made Javi look even more delicious.

Holy fuck.

You couldn’t help but let your mind wander even further than it already was, picturing what Javi would look like with it on now, the broadness of his shoulders filling out the vest even more than he would have the last time he wore it. 

You were so entranced, so lost in ogling at how attractive Javi looked in the vest, that you hadn’t noticed the sound his familiar footsteps trudging down the hallway, stopping in the doorway of your bedroom and watching you as you sat cross legged on the floor, hunched over the now nearly empty box. 

“Hey, Hermosa, I’m almost all done in the garage if you wanna-” Javi’s voice quietly trailed off as his eyes wandered, looking at the items from inside the box spread across the floor, stopping at the long forgotten sight of his old tac vest propped up against the cardboard.

He couldn’t help but quietly laugh to himself, simply out of shock that you had even found the vest in the first place, considering he hadn’t even remembered it had been living inside a box that hadn’t been touched since it was shipped back to Laredo with the rest of his things post DEA.

“Where the hell’d you find this? I haven’t seen this thing in fucking years.” He chuckled, reaching down to pick up the well worn armor, letting his thumb run along the seams of the rough fabric as he held it up in front of him, blocking your blushing and bright red face from his view. 

“It was uh- it was at the bottom of the box.” You gulped, trying not to stumble over your words, biting down on your tongue to try and keep your embarrassingly sheepish smirk at bay, Javi’s eyes now meeting yours as he lowered the vest from his view. He tilted his head in confusion at your clearly flustered state, reaching out his free hand to gently grab your arm, rubbing his thumb back and forth across your skin, his touch only making you more riled up. 

“Hermosa, are you okay?” 

“Yeah I’m- yes, I’m- I’m fine, it’s stupid.” You muttered, making no attempts to cover up your clearly blatant lie, darting your eyes away from Javi and shifting your gaze to the floor to try and hide your hot, flushed face, embarrassed that you were this worked up from 3 old photos and a piece of police gear.

But unfortunately for you, Javi knew you like the back of his hand, and knew all too well when you weren’t telling him something that was on your mind. 

Letting his hand slide up your arm and across your collarbone, he stopped at your chin, forcing your gaze back on him, giving you a smug shrug and raise of his eyebrows, silently waiting for your real response, the one he knew you were hiding behind your bashful facade. 

“What’s going on, baby?” 

With your eyes locked on his, thumb resting under your jaw, you had no choice but to swallow your own pride, the sweet dark brown of his glare coaxing your sheepish secret right out of you. 

“There were- there were pictures of you in the vest in the box. You look- Jesus, Javi, you look really fucking hot.” 

“That’s it?” He laughed, softly swiping his thumb across your cheek, still feeling like he hadn’t quite gotten everything out of you. 

“Well I was thinking... that uh- if- what-” 

“What, baby? Talk to me, it’s okay.” 

Oh, fuck me. 

“Would you, um, would- would you put it on?” 

“Put it on?” He chuckled, lifting up the vest, gesturing towards it. 

“Mhhmmmm.” You nodded, letting your tongue run against your teeth before biting down on your bottom lip, feeling a rush of heat rapidly creeping through your body. 

“Like, right now?” 

“Like, right now.” 

Realizing that you were completely serious about your request, Javi let out a playful scoff, running his hand over the back of his neck, almost as flustered by your ask as you were at the thought alone of seeing him in his vest. 

“Really? I mean, uh- yeah, okay.” Working in a quick and determined silence, Javi began slipping the vest over his head, pulling it over his broad shoulders and unfastening the velcro sides before readjusting them, tugging the flaps tighter against his stomach to hold them in place, quietly grumbling to himself. “Used to be able to pull these a lot tighter…” He groaned, flattening the last strap against the velcro.

As his focused shifted from his vest to you, he couldn’t help but smirk at the dumbfounded look on your face- the image in front of you leaving you so completely stunned, you felt like you needed to wipe the corner of your mouth to make sure that there wasn’t any drool coming out of it. Your brain was so short circuited, at a loss to form any sort of coherent sentence, the best you could muster out was a low, shaky, “Holy fucking shit.” 

“Didn’t know you had a thing for tactical vests.” Javi grinned with a devilish look slowing spreading across his face, seeing the complete and utter mess you were becoming as he slowly stepped towards you, the looming image of his broad body in that fucking vest making your heart race and your palms sweat. 

“Well, I- I didn’t, um, I didn’t-” You stammered, your breath trembling as you tried to respond, your brain going blank as you watched Javi approach you. Before you had a chance to even try to and concoct some sort of answer, Javi’s hand was back under your chin, fingers wrapped around your jaw with a much tighter and demanding presence than just a few moments ago, sensing the undeniable shift of palpable tension in the room. 

“Didn’t what? Use your words, sweet girl.” He rasped, teasing you with his knowingly smug smirk, his words shooting straight to your core, making your stomach flip in anxious arousal. 

You could feel your words bobbing in your throat as you swallowed, your tongue darting out of your parted mouth, desperate to taste Javi’s lips now barely ghosting yours, patiently waiting for your response, relishing in the needy mess he could sense you were quickly becoming. 

“Didn’t realize it until I saw you in it. You look- fuck- you look so hot.” You whispered, feeling his warm breath against your skin as he sucked at your pulse point, his teeth nipping at your neck as a ragged moan escaped your mouth. “Javi…” 

“Not gonna give you what you want 'till you tell me. I wanna hear you say it. Tell me what you want.” You could practically feel his satisfied smirk as his kisses worked their way down your neck towards your chest, each press of his lips taunting you, only making it harder and harder for any part of your brain to function. 

“I wanna- fuck- I wanna suck your dick. Fuck, I need to taste you.” You whimpered, reaching out to run your hand across his vest, letting it trail from his chest, down to his stomach, your fingertips grazing his belt buckle before a firm grasp wrapped around your wrist, holding your hand in place and stopping it from traveling any further. 

“Nuh-uh.” Javi tutted, rasping in your ear. “Be a good girl and ask first. Tell me how badly you need it.”  

“Please, Javi. Fuck, please let me suck your dick, baby. Please.” You moaned, sounding more desperate than you had intended, but fuck, there was nothing you wanted to do more than drop to your knees and worship him in the most sinful way you could.  

“Jesus, you’re so fucking pretty when you beg for it. You need me that bad, Hermosa?” Javi grinned, feeling you nod your head frantically, the hand he was holding in his grasp reaching for below his belt. “Okay, baby, show me how bad you need me, huh?” 

In an instant, you were dragging your hands down his vest, sinking to the ground as you frantically worked to undo his belt buckle, the quiet clang of the metal singing a song of sweet relief as you shuffled his pants down his legs before hooking your fingers around the elastic waistband of his boxers, tugging them down to meet his pants. pooling around his ankles. His cock sprung free as it was released, already painfully hard and weeping with precum as it slapped against his stomach, the sight alone making you lick your lips. You kissed the inside of his thighs, trailing your way up to his shaft in long, languid movements, dragging your tongue back and forth along the underside of his cock before sinking just his tip between your lips, swirling it in your mouth. 

You had barely touched him, but you were already so worked up that what had started as just a wet patch in your underwear had now turned into the fabric becoming completely soaked in your slick, leaving your cunt aching and throbbing. With your mouth still sucking and flicking at his tip, you couldn’t help but let your hand snake down your front, sneaking between your skin and the waistband of your pants as it dipped into your underwear. You let your fingers slide through your folds, before sinking them into your heat, your hips instinctively grinding down on your hand to find any sort of temporary relief as you fucked yourself with your fingers. 

Looking up at him with batted lashes, you sunk your mouth deeper down on his length, hollowing your cheeks as you took him inch by inch, watching his eyes go wide as you took the hand that had just been inside your pants back out to reveal the shiny slick covering your fingers, then wrapping them around his base, covering his shaft in your arousal. 

It was taking everything in him just to say fuck it right then and there, to toss you onto the bed and fuck you until you were begging him to stop, but watching the way you worked around his cock so needily had him so stunned, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but let you work your magic. 

“Jesus, fuck…” Javi muttered to himself, already feeling his balls beginning to tighten as your head bobbed along his dick, sinking down just enough to let the deep, musky scent of the curls at the base of his shaft tickle your nostrils. 

It wasn’t long before his hand was buried deep in your hair, his fingers cradling the back of your head as his hips began to buck towards your face, trying to hold himself back from full-on fucking your throat, until your fingers wrapped around the back of his thighs, bracing yourself as you gave Javi your silent nod of approval to keep going. Letting a low groan rumble in his chest, his second hand met the one already palming the back of your head, guiding you up and down his cock as he thrust deeper into your throat, tears welling in your eyes and saliva spilling out the corners of your mouth. His tip brushed against your gag reflex, making you dig your fingertips further and further into his skin. 

“Oh fuck- this what you wanted, Quierda? To get on your knees and let me- shit, shit, shit- fuck that pretty little mouth of yours like the good girl you are?” Javi hissed through gritted teeth, trying to keep himself together as he watched his length slide in and out of your mouth, tempted to let himself go and spill deep down your throat, watching his spend drip down your lips. But he knew he’d be kicking himself if he wasn’t finishing buried in the depths of your cunt, your warm, wet walls milking him of every last drop, clenching around him as you came. 

That was enough to pull him back to his senses, guiding his dick out of your mouth, the two of you catching your breath as you wiped your hand with the back of your mouth in confusion, wondering what had made him back off so quickly. 

“Javi, are you okay? Did I do something wr-oh!” You gasped, stumbling as Javi forcefully pulled you to your feet, manhandling you towards your dresser, your mouths becoming a mess of tangled tongues and teeth as your back bumped against the wooden edge. Javi’s hands were under your legs, grabbing you and hosting you up to sit on top of it, ripping your pants and underwear down off your hips and tossing them to the floor. 

“I need to be inside you. Fuck, I need to feel you when I fuck you full of me.” He mewled, reaching down to stroke himself as he lined his dick up with your entrance, running his tip through your folds, coating it even more in your slick before sinking himself deep into your pussy, flushing his hips against you as his cock bumped against your cervix. Even though you were already soaking wet, you couldn’t help but whimper at the sweet sting of how full Javi’s stretch made you feel, gripping around the shoulder straps of his tac vest for dear life as he began to thrust in and out of you, already setting a punishing, desperate pace. 

You wrapped your legs around the small of his back just under his vest, whimpering and moaning into his shoulder as your buried your face in the crook of his neck the lewd noises of muted moans and slapping skin filling the room as Javi punched into you, his cock splitting you open in the best way possible. 

“Javi, oh fuck baby, fuck, you feel so good, oh shit-”  You whined, your brain going blank, babbling between moans, already feeling a tingle beginning to build at the base of your spine while Javi’s hands gripped around your hips, holding you in place as he fucked into you hard and deep. Your cunt was starting to clench around his cock, pounding into that sweet spot inside you that had you seeing stars and screaming his name as you could feel yourself coming undone around him. 

Rutting your hips against him, the hairs at his base rubbed your clit, the friction giving you just enough stimulation to send you over the edge, your orgasm crashing through you with a ferocious intensity, flooding every inch of your body with pleasure. 

“That’s it. Give it to me, Hermosa. Fuck- cum all over me baby girl.” Javi hissed through gritted teeth, his words humming deep in his throat as he fucked you through your high, his hands holding you in place as you melted into him, your body going limp as you came. “You gonna give me another one, Querida? Be a good girl and give me one more before I fuck you so full of me, I’ll be dripping out of you for days.” 

You were so lost in your pleasure, you couldn’t find any words, simply nodding your head as you moaned into his neck, only starting to come to when you suddenly felt an emptiness in your cunt, Javi pulling out to scoot you off the dresser, guiding your feet to the floor as he turned you over, splaying your chest across the wooden surface and pinning your arms behind your back. Gently nudging your feet wider, you could feel his broad body looming over yours, his hot breath dancing across your neck as he nibbled at your ear. 

“You still okay, Osita?” 

“Mhmmmm” You whimpered, your body trembling as Javi’s hands ran across your hips, feeling his hard length pressed against your ass, wiggling your bottom half against him, desperate for him to ease the emptiness between your legs again. 

“Lemme hear you say it, baby. Tell me how bad you need it.” Javi grunted, now dragging his cock through your folds, teasing your dripping entrance, waiting painfully patiently for your response. 

“I need it so bad, Javi, please, please baby.” You moaned, rolling your hips and pushing your ass back on him, doing anything to try and feel him inside you again. 

“My needy girl. Shhhhh, it’s okay baby, I’ve got you.” Javi smirked, flushing his hips against your ass as he bottomed out inside you, the fullness making you cry out in pleasure.

He slowly began thrusting in and out of you, dragging his cock along your heat, each stroke punching against your g-spot, so wet that you could hear each rut of his hips as he buried himself deeper and deeper into your hilt. 

You were so blissed out, barely hanging by a thread as you felt heat beginning to bloom in your belly once again, that you were resting your head against the dresser, closing your eyes as you felt yourself coming undone. That was until Javi’s firm grasp shifted from pinning your hands behind your back to sliding up your neck, resting his hand under your jaw and forcing your gaze into the mirror on top of your dresser. 

Your eyes locked with Javi’s, the reflection of him in his vest towering behind you as he thrusted into you over and over, watching the brown pools of his eyes darken with lust as he watched you slowly begin to come undone under him. 

“Eyes on me, baby. Wanna see that pretty face when you cum all over me.” 

The image of him was all consuming- His wide shoulders spilling from the sides of the vest, his dark, damp curls sticking to his forehead from the sheen of his sweat that had begun to pool in his brow, the wrecked look painted across his face making you weaker and weaker as you could feel the heat creeping up your legs and through your core. 

Reaching back, you grabbed on to the side of his vest, burying your fingers into the thick fabric for dear life as his pace began to quicken, his thrusts becoming faster and sloppier with each snaps of his hips as he felt your pussy fluttering around his length, watching you turn into a puddle below him. 

“I know you’re close, baby. C’mon Hermosa, oh shit- give it to me.” Javi grunted, letting his hand drop from your jaw to snake down your body, the pads of his fingers circling your clit with just enough force to have you screaming his name, clenching your cunt around his cock as you came. 

“Javi, Javi, oh fuck, fuck, fuck-” You babbled, your eyes practically rolling in the back of your head as Javi began to follow suit, rambling incoherently, chasing his own high. 

“I know, baby, I know. Such a good fucking girl, taking me so well. Fuck, oh shit- I’m close, too. Oh, fuck me- Jesus Christ, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh-” With only a few more thrusts, Javi was spilling inside you, his spend pulsing against your walls as he milked himself of every drop he had, his body slumping over yours as your chests rose and fell in sync, trying to catch your breath. 

Your legs trembled as the warm mix of your spend trailed down your thighs, only to be caught by his fingers, slowly dragging your combined arousal back up your skin before taking it and pushing it back into your entrance, languidly pulsing his digits in and out of your dripping hole, making a ragged moan fall from your lips as he nipped at your neck, softly sucking at your pulse point. 

“Gonna keep you full of me all night, sweet girl, all fucking night.” 

“Holy fuck…” You whined, finally catching your breath enough to speak before pushing yourself back up to stand, turning around to grab Javi’s face, pulling him in for an electric, passionate kiss before letting your hands rest on the worn army green of his vest, quietly laughing to yourself in disbelief. “Jesus fucking Christ, Javi.” 

“You okay, Osita? Sorry if I got carried away, I just- fuck, seeing how worked up you were, I-” 

“Javier Jesús Peña, you better not be apologizing to me for being the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in that goddamn vest. I swear to God, I’m never letting you take that thing off. Well… On second thought, if you don’t take it off I don’t think I will ever be productive ever again because holy shit.” 

The two of you couldn’t help but laugh to yourselves as Javi wrapped his arms around your waist, his thumbs tracing soft circles against the bare skin of your hips, looking out at the scattered sea of pants and underwear on the floor that had been quickly left behind during your horny antics. 

“Well, if you let me take it off,” Javi grinned, pressing a chast kiss on your cheek and then peppering them towards your lips, “then we can go take a shower to clean up,” he paused again, feeling his smile against your mouth, “we can go break in the bed, and I can return your little favor from earlier since someone was too eager to get dicked down to let me.” 

“Oh, shut up, can you blame me? Don’t have to ask me twice.” You giggled, raising a playful eyebrow at Javi. “Just promise me one thing, okay?” 

“Of course, Hermosa. Anything.” 

“Don’t you ever get rid of that fucking vest, Agent Peña.” 

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem

[gladdygirl18]

To Get the Boar to Sleep

Here is my part 2 of this incredible fic written by the equally incredible if not more so @giggly-squiggily! Your fic was so cute, I had to write a part 2 to it! Enjoy!

Summary: After constant nights of dragging His Majesty back to bed, Felix gets fed up with doing this almost every night. So, to make sure Dimitri stays put, Felix comes up with way to get His Majesty to sleep.

Word Count: 1569

Even in the middle of a war, you can always find room to breathe; however, after constant nights of hauling His Majesty’s exhausted butt to bed when his mind and body wandered, Felix was sure he was going to pass out if he had to carry Dimitri one more time. Still, it was worth it if it meant his friend was getting some sleep.

However, on this fateful night, Felix was finally fed up with Dimitri’s “wandering mind and body.” The silver moon glittered against the navy sky with stars dancing around it, shining just as bright as the lunar sun. The Shield of Faerghus had found His Majesty near the stables, admiring the sleeping stallions. The moon shined down on him like a silver spotlight, making his armor shimmer in the luminous light. The young duke groaned before walking up to his restless friend.

“Dimitri.” Felix called out.

The young king turned around and smiled when he saw his right-hand man.

“Oh, Felix. It’s just you,” Dimitri said.

“Of course, it’s me, boar,” Felix jeered, “Who else would be up this late to haul your butt to bed?”

Dimitri sighed as he averted his shield’s gaze.

“I… am sorry,” Dimitri said, “My mind just-”

“Wanders,” Felix finished as he leaned against the wooden fence, “I know.”

Dimitri smiled softly as he copied his friend’s posture, grateful to have someone like Felix understand his feelings.

“So, what brought you here this time?” Felix suddenly asked, “The last time I found you, you were at the training grounds, reminiscing about the times you, me, and Glenn used to train.”

“It is for a similar reason,” Dimitri chuckled, glancing at the sleeping horses, “Remember all the times you, me, and Glenn used to ride horses through every valley across Faerghus?”

Felix chuckled and nodded softly.

"How could I forget?” Felix asked, “You would always want to race.”

“Ridiculous!” Dimitri spat, “If I recall, you were always the one who would want to race, not I.”

Felix rolled his eyes as he straightened his posture.

“Whatever,” he said, “Come on, boar; it’s getting late. I want you to sleep so I can sleep.”

Dimitri sighed as he straightened his posture, nodding to his kingdom’s shield.

“Yes, perhaps that would be best.” Dimitri said.

Before Dimitri could take a step, Felix picked up his king in a bridal style.

“I don’t fully trust you yet to walk back to your quarters on your own,” Felix said, “You’ll probably wander off somewhere else. This time, I have a plan to help you fall asleep and to keep you from wandering,”

“Oh? And what might this plan be?” Dimitri asked.

“You’ll see…”

After hauling His Majesty to his private quarters, Felix set Dimitri on the ground and helped him out of his armor. Soon, the young king was reduced to a black long-sleeve shirt and pants.

“So, how will you help me fall asleep and ensure I won’t wander again?” Dimitri asked, genuinely curious as he sat on his bed.

Felix scoffed before removing his cape and gloves. He tossed them to the side as he walked up to his king.

“U-Uhm, Felix?” Dimitri began, “What’s with that look on your face?”

Felix’s face had a sinister smirk with a dark shadow cast over his eyes.

“I’ve grown tired of constantly hauling your royal butt to bed almost every night,” Felix growled, pushing Dimitri onto his back, “But now, I’m going to make sure you stay in bed and stay asleep.”

The young duke straddled his king and stared into his sky-blue eyes. Dimitri sank into the mattress, shifting under his kingdom’s shield’s gaze.

“W-What are you gonna do to me?” Dimitri asked, panic clear in his eyes.

Felix’s grin couldn’t get more sinister.

“Payback…” he growled.

Then, the young duke started digging his fingers into Dimitri’s sides, causing the young king to flinch hard at the sudden touch.

“F-Felihihix! This is absuhuhuhurd!” Dimitri giggled.

“Oh?” Felix questioned, “Was it absurd to do this to me a couple of nights ago?”

Dimitri giggled softly as his friend tickled his sides. The young king tried to latch onto his friend’s wrists, but Felix quickly moved his hands behind him and started squeezing the young king’s knees. The sudden touch made Dimitri yelp and kick out his legs.

“No, nohohoho!” Dimitri cried, “Felihihihihix! Cehehehease this at ohohohonce!”

“Sorry, Your Majesty, no can do,” Felix said, “I’m not stopping until you’re so tuckered out that you won’t even have the energy to wander around the camp.”

Dimitri growled through his giggles, trying to kick away Felix’s hands from squeezing his kneecaps.

“Enohohohough! Hahahahaha!” Dimitri giggled, “Felix, stohohohohop!”

“Yeah, it’s going to take Dedue to stop me by the time I’m through with you.” Felix deadpanned.

The young duke grinned before skittering his fingers back up Dimitri’s ribs, causing the young king to throw his head back and let out deep, handsome giggles.

“Felihihihihix! Nahahaha!” Dimitri cried, “I-It tihihihihikles! Hahahahahehehe!”

“That’s the point, boar,” Felix said as he rolled his crimson eyes, “You’d know what would happen if the others found out if I beat you to a pulp.”

Dimitri’s giggles escalated in volume as he heard Felix’s joke.

“Felix, plehehehehase!” Dimitri begged, “Make it stohohohop!”

“Only if you promise and apologize to stop wandering around the camp for hours on end and making me have to lug your royal butt to bed every night,” Felix said, “Oh, and you’ll have to promise to sleep more as well. Do that, and I’ll stop. Does that sound fair to you, boar?”

When Dimitri didn’t respond, Felix groaned and shoved his hands under his friend’s arms. Handsome belly laughs spilled from the king's lips.

“NOT THEHEHEHEHERE!” Dimitri laughed, kicking out his legs, “FELIHIHIHIHIHIHIX! AAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“I’m surprised you’re still ticklish here, Dimitri,” Felix mused, “Actually, I’m surprised you’re still ticklish in general. And here I thought you’d grown out of it by now.”

“YOU’RE ONE TO TAHAHAHAHALK!”

Felix scoffed at His Majesty’s sass and started clawing at Dimitri’s armpits through the thin material. Dimitri threw his head back and let out a cackle as he tried to latch onto Felix’s wrists.

“FELIHIHIHIHIHIX! NAHAHAHAAA!” Dimitri cackled, “G-GET OHOHOHOUT! HEHEHEHAHAHA!”

“Not until you promise and apologize,” Felix said, “Until then, accept your fate, Your Majesty.”

Dimitri twisted and turned underneath his friend, laughing his head off. His legs flailed behind the young duke, ignoring the constant kneeing his back was receiving.

“Knee me in the back again, and I’ll make this a thousand times worse.” Felix warned over his friend’s laughter.

Dimitri growled through his laughter as he tried not to kick Felix, not wanting the tickling to get any worse than it already was.

“F-FEHEHEHEHELIHIHIHIHIX, PLEHEHEHEEEASE!” Dimitri begged, “MAKE IT STAHAHAHAP! IT TIHIHICKLEHEHEHES SO BAHAHAHAD!”

“Do you promise to stop wandering around for hours on end?” Felix asked.

“YEHEHEHES, I PROMIHIHISE!”

“Will you finally get some sleep?”

“YES, I SWEHEHEHEAR! HAHAHAHAHA!”

“Are you sorry for making me carry you every night?”

Felix could’ve sworn he saw Dimitri’s smile grow wider at his question. The young duke growled before clawing at the space between Dimitri’s top rib and armpits, causing the young king to yelp.

“OKAY, OKAHAHAHAHAY!” Dimitri laughed, “I’M SOHOHOHORRY! I JUST WANTED TO SPEHEHEHEHEND TIME WITH YOHOHOHOHOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!”

When Felix heard this, he immediately stopped, leaving the young king breathless.

“Y-You what?” Felix asked.

“I-Ihihi just wanted to spehehend time with yohohu,” Dimitri panted, “W-We’re always working throughout the dahahay, and the best way to meheheet with you is at nihihight.”

Felix felt his heart swell with happiness.

“Is that why you’re always wandering at night?” Felix asked.

“Mostly,” Dimitri answered, “I do think about the past before… it happened; times like these when it was just you and me.”

Felix didn’t need to ask what “it” was; he knew perfectly well what his king was implying.

“And Glenn?” Felix asked.

Dimitri smiled and nodded at his friend. Felix grinned before ruffling his king’s golden-blonde hair. Dimitri giggled and playfully swatted away his friend’s hand.

“Alright, time for you to get some sleep,” Felix said, climbing off his king, “I better not find you up and wandering around the camp, or I’ll have to tire you out again.”

The young duke grinned as he wiggled his fingers toward his king, chuckling when Dimitri flinched.

“I will try and get some sleep,” Dimitri said, “For my sake.”

Felix chuckled before picking up his cape and gloves. After slipping on his gloves and cape, Felix made his way out of his king’s private quarters.

“Goodnight, Felix.” Dimitri said sweetly.

Felix stopped and glanced at his friend.

“Yeah,” Felix said with a smile, “Goodnight, Dimitri.”

The young duke left Dimitri’s quarters and slipped into the night. Dimitri watched his right-hand man walk away with a soft smile, chuckling at the ghost tickles that still lingered. If Felix is a man of his word, maybe Dimitri would wander the camp late at night again, but not tonight. Getting tickled death by the young duke definitely exhausted him.

When Dimitri’s blue eyes closed, a warm smile spread across his face as he dreamt of him, Felix, and Glenn having tickle fights with each other when they were younger. Though the death of Glenn will always be a heavy burden on the young king’s heart, he was lucky enough to have one of the Fraldarius brothers still around.

[dizzydispatch]

A Night in the Life

Day 1

0652. Medical comes in just before shift change, meaning it’s a cluster and a half (sorry, Ms. Carol, the guys were fighting over whose turn it was to deal with you and your angina this time). I should be on my way home, but I've gotta stay late so I don't saddle the morning shift with the burden of a half-finished call.

In the middle of the mess, Officer Areyougoingforaworldrecordintrafficstops? (nice name you got there / thanks, it’s German) has to get one last traffic stop in. Hey, here's an idea. If a medical call is currently being dispatched, instead of making me juggle that and your unnecessary traffic stops-- I don't know, maybe go to it?

0734. Thank you for threatening to pull me over for my broken tail light on my way into work tonight, Officer Hardass. I can’t even tell if you’re kidding or not. Guess I better go to the nearest auto parts store and replace my brake light in the freezing cold. 

0812. Good thing I did it here in the store parking lot before I left, because you guys sold me the wrong bulb. Oh, you don’t have the one I need? Great. Can I get that in writing for Hardass? Also, I was shivering so hard that when I tried to take the ill-fitting one out that I dropped it and it broke. But at least I’ve got the rest of the day to myself. Right?

828. Oops, I forgot that I agreed to tutor my GED student today. Was expecting to have the rest of the day, but hey, it’s for a good cause. I still have all afternoon to sleep and shower. 

1100. Call from my Lieutenant. Did I want today’s eve shift for overtime? I jumped for it. Eves are my favorite shift, after all, and every overtime shift that I put straight towards my student loans brings me 0.01083% closer to financial freedom.

1101. Realized that now I had to be back at the station in four hours, and we’re in the middle of a quiz. Too polite to kick my pupil out mid-quiz, I silently resign myself to not getting a shower today. 

1205. Finally, bed. Two blissful hours of--

1415. GOD that alarm is loud. Gotta get up and haul ass. No time to primp, just throw a bandana on, fresh uniform— aaaaand it’s damp.

Day 2

1500. Freezing My Butt Off Because My Uniform is WET and Dispatch is COLD.

1655. Remembered that as the dispatcher, I’m in charge of the dispatch office, and therefore I control the thermostat. Cranks heat. 

1938. Relentlessly mocked by Lieutenant about keeping Dispatch a sauna.

1941: Retaliated by playing up the cold symptoms related to an ongoing, non-contagious sinus infection, then fake sneezing on said (germaphobic) Lieutenant.

1956: Noise complaint from a guy whose neighbors are watching a movie "so loudly it sounds like World War Four in there." (I'm sorry, did I miss World War Three somehow? Any particular reason we jump right to four?)

2056: I should make some coffee. I sure hope the coffee machine isn't-

2057:

2143. Where’s Officer Goingforarecord when you need him? At least the constant traffic stops would be something to keep me awake. I guess the fact that the sun was out helped me forget that three in the afternoon to a night shift person is like everyone else's three in the morning.

2300:

0000: Is it seriously only midnight?

0100:

0200:

0300:

0400: My favorite officer to chat with has decided to let me talk his ear off. While I’d like to believe I am simply that good company, I also suspect that it’s because my mindless chatter is impossible to sleep through. He looks about as tired as I feel.

0500: After talking pretty much nonstop for an hour, my voice hurts. But if I stop, I’ll lose the momentum and adrenaline of a mostly one-sided conversation about the relative benefits of being a bandana girl. Sure, it’s not exactly a runway-worthy fashion statement, but can you tell how long it’s been since I washed my hair? 

0549: I wonder if this would make an interesting blog entry? Dispatch: A Night in the Life. 

0601: Should I at least format it into essay style? 

0636: Too tired. Transcript will have to suffice.

0639: I swear I know how to spell the word lieutenant, Mrs. Overton, my dearest seventh grade English teacher. I even use the pneumonic you taught us: lie-to-u-about-ten-ants. I’m just so tired, my brain won’t cooperate. (I won’t even tell you how many times it took me to spell pneumonic.)

0646: Wait, why would an officer lie about ants? Do we have ants in the station???

0649: I guess after the mouse that Dave’s mousetrap caught, a few ants shouldn’t be too much concern. 

0651: Almost time to...

0652: You have got to be kidding me, Carol.

[pinerguitar]

Beersmith tutorial

BEERSMITH TUTORIAL SOFTWARE

BEERSMITH TUTORIAL TRIAL

BEERSMITH TUTORIAL FREE

Purchasing through our affiliate links helps support our site at no extra cost to you. We ship worldwide and support our products and customers for life. Our new shop with over 150 new products: I've recorded up to 4 dry hop additions with it. Ĭhange the "stage" to primary, secondary, or finishing. I didn't see a way to add dry hop durations in beer tools. Beersmith is mine forever, or at least as long as it works on my os.ĭrinking: Pub Ale, Electric Creamsicle, Mild, Pliny the Younger, Belgian Dark Strong, Weizen, Russian Imperial Stout, Black Butte Porter You never know if they decide to add a pay wall or just shutdown someday and you lose all of your recipes.

BEERSMITH TUTORIAL SOFTWARE

But I like having a licensed downloaded software instead l because having all of my recipes stored on a server of some company has some risk. I wanted to add that I've never used brewers friend either but I did use brewtoad and whatever brewtoad was before it became brewtoad and I liked it. I didn't really use the mobile website for beer tools so can't comment to that. And I like the beersmith app although I'd like to be able to access my inventory from it. Also even if I decided I like beer tools more, it would be difficult to justify paying for another brew software after I've already invested in one that works. If I'm wrong about any of this someone please correct me. But I also like being able to scale recipes to gravity, bitterness and color which I didn't see in beer tools. But ultimately I decided to go back to beersmith because I didn't see a way to add dry hop durations in beer tools which now that I'm writing it out I'm not sure if that should be a deal breaker. It's cleaner, more intuituve and more fun and satisfying to use in my opinion.

BEERSMITH TUTORIAL TRIAL

I've been using beersmith for about a year and I tried a 30 day trial of beer tools recently. So that's where I'm at but am wondering if an investment in something like this will be a step in the right direction as the basement build comes together. I've also liked the portability aspect for being able to bring a recipe to the LHBS and get their two cents on what I wrote. But until this build began I've been hauling everything from the basement to the garage on brew day, so portability was crucial. It's been a couple years since this thread was active so I'm curious what different folks' experience is now? I have been using BeerSmith on my iPad exclusively and certainly like the portability of it. Kal just posted a great opportunity for a discount on BeerTools Pro: Member of the Arizona Society of HomebrewersĪlright, reviving an old thread.

BEERSMITH TUTORIAL FREE

You can get a free 21 day trial at the BeerSmith website.īrad also posts videos weekly on YouTube with various special guests. I love BeerSmith - it's a great program and Brad (owner) is a super nice guy. I've tired Brewer's Friend, and it's very good, but I prefer the interface, inventory and some of the additional depth Beersmith provides. Beersmith also does cloud storage of the recipes, so moving to a different computer is no longer an issue. I was a calibration technician for a dozen years, so I'm uber geeky with the weights and measures. I feel it's a little more in depth, which I freely admit isn't strictly necessary. I also downloaded BeerSmith which seemed good, but i just stuck with Beer Tools Pro. At that point i was still using BrewAlchemy or something like that and Bobby's videos covered solutions to most of my gripes with Beer Tools Pro. I switched over to it a few years ago after watching some of Bobby_M's videos on YouTube where he explains how he uses it. Link changed to support our site at no additional cost to you - we thank you!ĭrinking: Perogi Pale, NEIPA, Nutter's Crossing Nut Brown Ale, Edmund Fitzgerald Porter Clone Location: The Ozark Mountains of Missouriīrewers friend here, no reason not to, it has it all I own Beersmith2 but use Brewers friend as well. Working on: Janet's Brown Ale, Terry's Kolsch, Pilsner It's great to be able to access my recipes from any place, any time.ĭrinking: Steelhead Porter, Alt-Toids, Hefty-Weizen, Terry's Kolsch, African Amber, Pumpkin Ale, Double Dog Ale I own Beersmith and Beer Tooks Pro, but I'm using Brewer's Friend exclusively now. I have beertoolspro but strongly prefer and use brewer's friend (the website). its easy to navigate and customize, thier forums and customer support are quite good, and it will also keep an inventory of what you have on hand. I bought beersmith2 just because it was the first piece of brewing software i found. I am using a MAC, so whats the easiest and best software, BEERTOOLS or BEERSMITH? Your opinions matter, so give me some insight as to which is better and why please. I am new to all this, and our brewery is finished! Cant wait to use it! But we are at the point where we need software.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

The unofficial “Change, In All Things, Is Inevitable” playlist.

Here’s some of the music I listened to while working on this fic, plus a few key lyrics and some commentary about each song:

------------

Gladiator – Zayde Wolf

Imma give you a second just to catch your breath / 'Cause I can see that your heart is jumpin' out your chest / I know you gave it all 'cause I've already seen your best, and it’s time you accepted this 

Let me tell ya / I've got every reason to fight

This song is great because it pumps me up and then 1 minute and 50 seconds into it, the tone does a complete 180 and gives me serious chills. It reminds me of current Megatron vs. past Megatron, and his initial motivation for starting the Decepticon revolution in the first place. I think he lost his guiding principles along the way, but his anger and gladiator might hasn’t gone anywhere. It’s a perfect Megatron song for obvious (and not so obvious) reasons.

Church – Fall Out Boy

Megatron: Take the pain / Make it billboard big then swallow it for me / Time-capsule for the future / Trust me, that's what I will be Soundwave: Oh, the things that you do in the name of what you love Orion Pax: I love the world but I just don't love the way it makes me feel

Church makes me think of the early days of the revolution when Orion, Soundwave, and Megatronus were all working together towards the same goal. The chorus is fitting for all of them; their friendship was a sanctuary of sorts, and it gave them the kind of support / relationship none of them ever had before (at least in Megatron’s case). Friendship was a novel, strange, but wonderful thing. Pity it didn’t last long :’I

If I’m being completely honest, Toastyhat’s animatic for this song definitely influenced my associations, what with the gladiator ring and all that, haha. It’s a fantastic animation, and I highly recommend checking it out if you haven’t already.

Meet Me on the Battlefield – Svrcina

We carry on through the storm / Tired soldiers in this war / Remember what we're fighting for Our tainted history, is playing on repeat / But we could change it if we stand up strong and take the lead When I was younger, I was named / A generation unafraid / For heirs to come, be brave

This melancholic song is a perfect fit for the tone of the war, and Optimus’ feelings on it. Poor guy never expressed interest in being a Prime, but he never really got a say in the matter. The best he can do is keep moving forward hoping it’ll one day come to an end.

(Side note: someone’s done a TFP AMV with this song! Go check it out.)

Run to You – Pentatonix

I've been settling scores, I've been fighting so long / But I've lost your war and our kingdom is gone I will break down the gates of heaven / A thousand angels stand waiting for me

Very much a melancholic unrequited Soundwave --> Megatron song. I don’t care how many times I listen to this; my heart always aches for poor Soundwave and the ending he got in TFP. He would’ve gone to hell and back for Megatron (and I suppose, in a way, he did).

Battle Cry – Imagine Dragons

Stars are only visible in darkness / Fear is ever-changing and evolving Nobody can save you now / The only sound is the battle cry

Another great song for Megatron! He reveled in his fights as a gladiator, and war is no different. It’s his challenge to Optimus and anyone else who'd dare oppose him. In essence, I see it as Megatron’s “If you’re not with me, then you’re against me, and you’d better be damn well prepared to be treated like an enemy” song.

The “stars are only visible in darkness” line also reminds me of Optimus and Megatron’s conversation in IDW’s “The Transformers” #22 comic, where Megatron goads Optimus, saying he would’ve been no one and nothing without him / the war:

Also: I genuinely had no idea this was a Bayverse song until recently so sHHH LET ME LIVE

Chains – Radical Face

I thought I had control, that I could always walk away if things turned bad / We were thick as thieves 'til I became the one who always went too far / And I couldn't hear you  In the end I'm lost / And I'll drag you down yeah, that's my cost / But I'm glad you were my friend 

Finally, the song that helped inspire this fic! Definitely gives me strong MegaOp vibes. Despite everything that wound up happened, Megatron and Optimus were each other’s biggest influences for a loooong time. That’s not the kind of thing that can be forgotten easily! I think Megatron was briefly reminded of the friendship they once had at the end of Predacon Rising. Megatron doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who has regrets, but I still wonder if anything akin to it crossed his mind before the end.

A few bonus lighthearted joke songs: A Little Help From My Friends – The Beatles This song came up on my playlist while I was editing some early chapters where Megatron / Orion / Soundwave were still buddies, which I thought was ironic, sweet, and a little bit sad. Take A Chance On Me – ABBA  An example of a song I associated with a character as a joke, then thought about WAY too much to the point where it’s no longer a joke. Anyways, please imagine Soundwave playing this every time Megatron passes him up in favor of the Decepticon’s latest traitorous and/or knuckleheaded senior officer. (Seriously though, why on EARTH do you have your most loyal officer as your third in command, Megatron??? Stability and competence clearly mean nothing to you).

Strawberry Blond – Mitski

All I need, darling, is a life in your shape / I picture it, soft, and I ache

This song is perhaps a little bit too wistful / lighthearted for the TFP continuity, but the tone (and the topic of unrequited love) reminded me of a young love-struck Orion Pax. (This was supposed to be a fun addition to this list but the more I think about it, the sadder I get :’I I’m so sorry your life sucked so much, Orion).

Songs reminding me of other TF continuities that nonetheless influenced this fic: Firewall – Les Friction

Deep beneath the light / A spark will now ignite You will see me now / This is my world now

A great G1 / IDW song that’s particularly good for Megatron and Optimus. I could dissect every single line of this song and create an entire MV to it, but I’ll spare you the 10 page essay. Just listen to the song and let your imagination run wild! So many lines are perfect!!! Alright I lied, here’s a few good corresponding lines: Megatron: Fear is a device / So quiet and precise / It's not what I allow / Not in my world now Rodimus / the Matrix: This force is in love with you / It wants you safe / It wants you well Shockwave / empurata: This force knows what you can do / And what you can make / With your tattered shell Optimus / the Matrix: Faith in your device / So quiet and precise / Just when, not how / You can feel it now The Autobots: Deep beneath the light / A spark will now ignite The Decepticons: You will see me now / This is our world now

Dangerous Man – Little Dume  An absolutely PERFECT IDW Megatron song! Great for Megatron post- his change of heart. I actually am determined to make an MV with him for this song because it’s just that perfect.

Silhouettes – Of Monsters and Men

There's nothing that I'd take back / But it's hard to say there's nothing I regret. 

Not necessarily a perfect song for TF, but these two lines from it reminded me so strongly of Megatron / Optimus I figured it was worth making note of.

[gotnofucks]

Pot of Gold

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Summary: You went broke and bet your pussy.

Words: 2k

Warnings: Fluffy smut, slight dom Steve, language, 18+ ONLY

A/N: dedicated to the anon who said she needed fluffy Steve smut so that she could get out of her bed. Hope you feel better hon <3

MASTERLIST

+++++

“And what do you bet?” Thor asked you, stacking other’s money in the center of the table. It wasn’t game night yet, but since no one wanted to go out you lot pulled out a few board games. It was going great until the betting started, because the Avengers just can’t play like normal broke people. You had like an amateur lost all your cash in the last round of poker, and now sitting around some stupid board game with pictures and dices, you were the only one who was penniless. Everyone else had tossed on hundreds of dollars and looked at you curiously.

“I bet my pussy” You said at last and a hush fell around the table. For the first time tonight, you were glad to be the only woman present. The reaction you received from the men was very flattering.

Tony, Steve, Thor, Sam, Bucky, and Clint all looked dumbstruck for a moment, their mouths hanging open in surprise. It was when Tony snorted in amusement that they shook their head and gave you disbelieving looks.

“Don’t look at me like that. I have it on good authority that its like a pot of gold.” You remarked and saw more than one man blush. You didn’t care much about modesty, or shame for that matter.

“Y/n, you can’t be serious” Bucky said, and you shrugged nonchalantly.

“Of course, I am Buck. My pussy is worth more than your money put together, so whoever wins will be more than pleased with the outcome. If someone else wins that is. I have every intension of winning this time ‘round” You declared while cracking your knuckles.

“Cool then. Game’s simple enough. Roll the dice, get big numbers, and cross the obstacles. Whoever reaches the finishing line first wins and takes the prize.” Tony said and Steve looked scandalized.

“You can’t be serious Tony!” He exclaimed and you rolled your eyes right along with Tony’s.

“Listen up Capsicle if the lady wants to bet her cooch, so she can. I for one really want to win this round.” Tony said winking at you, and you giggled.

“You got competition here Stark. I want that pot of gold.” Thor stated and you would be a liar if a fire didn’t start in your belly. You wouldn’t mind any of the men taking you, or all of them.

“Oh baby, you are gonna get some chocolate spread this evening” Sam was rubbing his hands the way villains do and you gave him a once over, licking your lips at the end making him groan. “Cap and Tin Man make be from the 90s, but I can give it to you good.”

“I can give it as good as you Birdguy. Just you wait and see. She’ll be screaming from the rafter!” Bucky was also flexing as if it was a wresting match. You couldn’t help the smug smile that was splitting your face in half. This was much better than any evening out would have been.

The game began without preamble now and you saw more than one salacious look tossed your way. Even Steve and Clint who had so far not made their desire known were looking at you with hot eyes, each person rolling the dice with greater gusto. Sabotage became common, someone trying to knock their elbows and move their pieces. Arguments broke out, the board was almost flipped twice, and the game was nearing the end. You were holding the dices in your hands, rolling them between your thumb and finger as you carefully measured your score. You’d need a 10 to win. Or else you were out. Everyone’s eyes were trained on and you felt the pressure mounting. You breathed deeply then let the dices fall with a loud exhale, holding your breath as they came to a still.

5 and 4

“Fuck!” You shouted and the sentiment was echoed, more like cheered. You sat back on your chair with a huff and cross your arms while Thor puts a hand around you.

“Its okay Y/n, I’ll make sure you win even as you lose.” He made his move and the other guys booed as Thor lost too. You were at the edge of your seat, watching as one by one everyone else rolled the dices across the board. Clint groaned and mimicked your actions when he didn’t make the line, followed by Sam who simply got up and left. You watched Tony, Steve and Bucky battle it out, their tongues between their teeth. You were as anxious as any of the others, legs bouncing in anticipation. You made a small noise of dejection when Bucky lost and pouted. You really wouldn’t have minded that metal hand between your legs.

“Capsicle, why not give up now. It’s not like you’ll know what to do with a woman like our girl here.” Tony goaded Steve who glared at him.

“Make your move Stark.” He simply replied and you leaned forward as the dices rolled. They spun on their edges, making the suspense comically longer and when they finally laid still you started chuckling.

“Next time, Tony.” You consoled, your hand patting his knee. He looked so forlorn that you almost suggested a rematch.

“He still has to make a move! He hasn’t won yet.” Tony pointed at Steve who with all the stoicism bred into him tossed his dices and got the perfect score.

“In your face, playboy!” Steve triumphed and to everyone’s surprise just lifted you onto his shoulders like a sack and began walking away. “Leave the cash with Buck. I’ll take those earnings after I’m finished with the real prize”

Cheers and howls followed you as you dangled over Steve’s back. You had no idea he could be this passionate, but you had no reason to complain. You let him haul you away to his room in relative peace, only getting a slap on your butt after poking Steve’s ass through his joggers. He threw you on the bed and shut the door behind him, turning to look at you with fire in his eyes.

“Velvet or silk?” He questioned and your throat went dry as he walked to his closet in the corner. He raised an eyebrow when you didn’t respond, and you cleared your throat.

“Velvet?” You answered, unsure what you agreed to. Steve came back with velvet lined handcuffs in his hands and you creamed. Holy shit, who would have thought that prim and proper Captain could have a kinky side too.

“Hands behind your head” He ordered in his captain voice and you swore your thighs were trembling in need. This was something so out of the realm of possibility you felt out of your element for a while. You complied, your hands holding the headrest as Steve came forward and cuffed them, the velvet delicate on your skin. He rattled them a little, looking at you in question. “Feel okay?”

You only nodded, too stunned to speak, and licked your lips when Steve removed his t-shirt, his bare chest only serving to make you hotter. You didn’t realize you had parted your legs in welcome until Steve climbed between them, his blue eyes almost black with lust.

“Do you have a safe word?” He asked and you nodded.

“Oatmeal” You answered, and Steve paused as if making sure he heard right. “It is a long story.” You sighed. Steve smiled before leaning over you to kiss you softly, his hands travelling from your hips to your sides, caressing them languidly and then reaching your breasts. You moaned in his mouth when his fingers found your stiff nipples, and you bucked up trying to bring him closer.

“You need to tell me if I hurt you, okay?” Steve urged, his mouth licking a fiery trail on your neck. You nodded, too busy in the feel of his mouth to do more than moan. Oh god, Tony was sooo wrong. Cap knew what to do with a girl alright.

He pulled back enough to take hold of your top and tear it straight down the middle, his inner caveman coming back. Your bra fared the same and Steve wasted no time in lapping up your supple flesh. You were sure your voices carried all the way down to the common room, Steve’s tongue making you go wild.

“No holding back sounds tonight, sweetheart. Or I’ll hold back your orgasms, that clear?” He said and hooked his hands into your pants to pull them down, his hands tracing your bare legs. The look in his eyes made you feel like you’ll combust if he didn’t touch you down there right now.

“Please Steve, don’t tease.” You whined and he bent over you, pulling your panties down with his teeth. You are going to write him a fucking glowing performance review and mail it to Tony tomorrow. Your wildest fantasies couldn’t have prepared you for it. He slipped out of his joggers and boxers, his cock hard and weeping. Your mouth watered and you downright salivated when he stroked it. Steve saw your expression and chuckled.

“You’ll get a taste later. But right now, I’m gonna dip my prick in your pot of gold.”

You wished your hands were free when he fitted himself between your legs, helping you wrap them around his thick frame. He torturously lubed himself up in your juices and entered you sinfully slow, letting you feel every bit of him. You both moaned, your mouths meeting for a sloppy kiss when he started moving, getting faster by the minute. One of his hands reached between your bodies to tweak your clit, alternating rough and soft until you bordered on the edge of your cliff. He was so thick you were stretched almost uncomfortably wide; each inch of your walls being rubbed in the most delicious way. You chanted a crescendo of “yes” and “oohs” and “please” and “faster” along with his name. You didn’t seem to be making sense, but he clearly didn’t care since he did little but grunt in pleasure, hips hammering in you hard enough to bang the headboard against the wall.

“Come on darling, scream for me!” He ordered, his fingering pinching your bud and you exploded around him, your body arching in pleasure. He fucked you through your high, thrusts getting sloppier with every second. “Are you on the pill?” He really should have asked earlier.

“I get a depo shot. Don’t you dare waste a single drop. Need you in me!” You honestly didn’t know what you were saying, instead you seemed drunk on his passion and power. You needed him to fill you up, the very primal animalistic part of you craving his seed.

Steve stuttered, his breath coming out in broken gasps when he finally released in you, hips lazily moving until he went limp right over your body. His weight crushed you, but you didn’t tell him to roll off just yet. The warmth of him fell nice.

He raised his hands and reached to undo your hands, massaging your wrists gently and you fisted them in his hair, pulling him into another deep kiss before letting go. He settled beside you, sweaty body holding yours close.

“You’re not leaving tonight; I still need to taste you.” He murmured in your ear, biting the earlobe, and making you squeal.

“Yes captain” you conceded, and his hand swatted your behind before pulling you closer.

“Can I tell you a secret?” You whispered in his ear after your breaths had settled to normal. He hummed in reply and you sat up, your eyes twinkling. “I lost on purpose”

Steve blinked before a laugh bubbled from deep within him, his arms pulling your body under his as he caged you.

“My god, I think I’m gonna have to fuck you good enough that you never think of letting another man fuck you. This pot of gold,” he cupped your pussy, “I have no intension of sharing it”.

+++++

Gonna re-blog with tags later

Taglist is Open.

[hoseokisgucci]

You Lift Me Up

GENRE: Fluff and Smut

WORD COUNT: 5K

PAIRING: Taehyung x Reader

SUMMARY: Taetae here sees OC at the gym, one day helps her out a little when she gets injured and somehow ends up in her bed. 

WARNING: Tbh there’s some oral in there (fem receiving), some body worship, a lil of undiscovered kinks showing a sneak peek, penetrative sex, a little dialogue heavy, Taehyung being softboi max. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I originally uploaded this without the smut, but then deleted it, and now I’m putting it up again because I finally got around to finishing it. I definitely wanted to write something gym related because its my safe space but I really also wanted to make it soft because IM AN IDIOT FOR PEOPLE FALLING IN LOVE/FINDING THEIR PEOPLE. 

“How different would it be anyways? I’ll just ask someone for help if I need it. It’s not like I’ll be abandoned by everyone just because I don’t have a partner.”

 “Hey! We didn’t abandon you!! We have exams. Our university made you lonely, not us.” Your friend squawked over the phone.

 Taking advantage of this new found chink in her armor, you added, “Yes. An institution is more important than I am. I see how it is. Hungry, partner-less and overcome with despair. That’s my life now.”

 She huffed, and you could just imagine her shaking her head at you. “You’re a heathen. I’ll buy you food. Now bye. Duty calls.”

 You laughed out an affirmative and slid the phone into the side pocket of your gym bag. The university gym was located close to your dorms, which made it easier for you to haul your ass to the gym even on your lazy days. You were already wondering what it would be like without a partner. You always had friends with you at the gym, be it one or two. You never had to worry about spotting or support ever before, but now these questions crossed your mind. Scenarios where you dropped a dumbbell on your toe or worse, your face flashed before your eyes. You shuddered when a haunting crack resounded in your ears, the sound reminding you to be wary of heavy lifting while you were on your own.

 Getting started on your workout was easy enough. A little warmup here, a bit of running and cycling there. The music pumping through your ears helped you keep up the pace as you cycled, body starting to sweat, lips mouthing the words of the song playing through your earphones. When you hit the 15-minute mark, you figured it would be alright to cycle for 5 more minutes. 

Just as the song changed, and you looked down to check if the lever for your seat was proper, your heart came up to your throat as someone tapped you. With your hand over your heart, legs coming to a stop, you turned to see the most gorgeous man ever. Scratch that. The most gorgeous being ever.

 Lost in your head, you only came to when you realized that his lips were supposed to be forming coherent sentences. That were aimed at you. Raising your hand, your palm faced towards him, you said, “Wait, I can’t hear you.”  His lips grimaced, as if embarrassed and he nodded his head. When you turned off your music, paused your timer and turned to look at him, torso twisting in his direction, his eyes quickly snapped to yours, as if he wasn’t just checking out the swell of your ass perched on the tiny cycle seat. You raised your brows at him, which probably kickstarted his brain again. He gulped and said,

 “How long will you take?”

  You were about to retort and tell him that there were other cycles too, but when you turned the other way, you saw that all of them were occupied.

 “Maybe around 4 more minutes.” He nodded in response, gave a quick smile, and when he was about to turn away, you tapped his hand, grabbing his attention once more. You didn’t know why you felt good, having those eyes on you. You were probably going crazy, you imagination making you see the electricity in them.

 Rethinking about your situation, you said, “Actually, I’ll get off. I was just going to do some extra cycling, but you can get started.”

 He shook his head, curly hair bouncing around as he said, “No no, please take your time. I’ll just stretch some while you’re getting done.”

 You nodded your head and smiled at him, hoping that he could understand how grateful you were. You got back to cycling, starting up the movement of your legs once again. Without the music to keep you occupied your eyes wandered to the mirror in front of you. As you scanned your surroundings, you noticed the guy from before, stretching his arms, gazed fixed on your form. The intensity with which he kept looking at you almost made your legs flounder, but you concentrated on maintaining your momentum.

 Sighing inwardly, your eyes moved backed to him. He hadn’t noticed you looking at him, because he wasn’t focused on your face, but rather your ass. Wanting to add fuel to the fire, you stuck your ass out a little more and arched your back a little more, making your body look a little more tantalizing. As you did this, you could see his eyes widen a little, hands now hanging limp. You discreetly kept looking at him, and could see him scan your form, his gaze focusing on your face. You cycled a bit more aggressively, the motion moving you from side to side. 

If he was watching, you might as well give him a good show. When you eyed him again, he was bent over, legs spread wide, hands touching the ground, stretching. But his eyes, they didn’t leave you, or rather, your butt, even once.

 Your timer beeped, signaling the end of your 20 minutes. You slowed down your legs and sat there, catching your breath. When you looked at yourself in the mirror, your cheeks were flushed, sweat dotting your forehead and your face glistened. You looked thoroughly wrecked. He was still looking at you. You got off the cycle, walked to him and said, “Its all yours.”

 He nodded, and you walked away. You breezed through the rest of the workout, mind occupied with thoughts of big hands and one beautiful man.

  Through the next week, you kept seeing him at the gym, on a machine or doing a rep. You weren't ignoring him, per se, but what the hell would you go and say to him? "Hey I think you're pretty hot, come over and choke me?"

 Definitely not.

 A week without a partner goes by with no problems, but its like your beginner luck in the world of solo exercising has run out when you lose your balance while doing weighted squats. Even before starting the set, you were a bit worried, because the rod itself weighed 32 kgs, and you had added plates of 10 kgs. You never imagined that you'd get injured at the gym out of all places but, alas! Your time had come. When you felt that you had no control over the bar and your body anymore, you tried to brace yourself for impact, but two hands lifted the bar off of your shoulders, which allowed your body to gain some balance. When you looked at the mirror, you saw cycle dude holding the bar in his hands. You quickly turned around and helped him rack it.

With frantic eyes, he scans your body for any apparent injuries and asks,

 "Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?"

 "Uh no, I don’t think so. Just that, my knee might be a little sprained."

 His eyes focus on your knee, hands out in front of him, ready to support you. You start walking, but you can feel a slight tinge in your right knee when you put pressure on it. The discomfort might show on your face, because he wraps your arm around his shoulder, and urges you to put your weight on him. He walks you to the bench and sits you down, your leg extended in front of you.

Squatting near your leg, fingers brushing the hair our of his eyes and off of his forehead, he asks,

"Can you call someone to take you home?"

 You take a minute to think if there's anyone who actually could take you home at this moment. And you come up with no one. You tell him so.

 Tentatively, eyes now darting here and there, he says

 "Uh, would you mind if I dropped you off?"

  You blurt out, "Why?"

 "Huh?"

 "Why would you do that? You don't even know me."

 "Well I, uh, might have a small crush on you. Not in a creepy way! I just think you're kinda cute. And I would feel better if I knew you'd get home safely."

  Welp. That's kinda endearing.

  "Okay. Let's go."  

 He asks for your locker number, goes and gets both of your bags and comes to get you. For a few minutes, you walk with your arm around his

 shoulder, half of your weight held up by him. Your pace is probably slower than a snail, what with you trying to clumsily hop and him trying to support you. He stops and says,

 "Okay, let's get you on my back. You can point in what direction you wanna go and I'll carry you. It'll be faster and way better for you."

 You try to protest but he's already hanging both of your bags around his neck and getting on his haunches in front of you, hands ready to hold your legs. So you climb on.

As he starts walking, he says,

"I'm Taehyung by the way, your beloved servant."

 "Well, my dear servant, you shall call me princess then," you cheekily reply as you tighten your hold around his neck.

 He laughs and shakes his head, huffing out, "Wow, the audacity."

 "I'm sorry. Thank you so much, I'll be indebted to you forever. You're too kind," you sincerely say to him.

 He just hums in response, so you leave it at that. Your dorm building isn't that far, so you make it there in no time. You get in the lift, and once it opens on your floor, you tell Taehyung your dorm number.

 You tell him your door code, and he walks you in, going straight to your couch and sitting you down. He takes the bags from his neck and puts them aside. Next, he takes off your shoes and puts them near your door.

 "Okay, do you mind if I check your fridge? Is there anything like an icepack? To put on your knee?"

 "Yeah, there is an ice pack."

 He grabs the ice pack, fills it with ice cubes and holds it on your knee. The freezing sensation

 sends a twinge down your knee. He urges you to hold the ice pack and goes to the kitchen. When he comes back, he presses a glass of water to your lips, and you drink.

 Once you're done, he sets the glass on the coffee table, and settles beside you, grabbing your leg and gently getting it on his lap, urging you to lie down, with your head resting on the armrest. He holds your leg with one hand, and tenderly ices your knee with the other. The action makes you relax your body, all the stress unwinding. Taehyung doesn't say anything, his eyes concentrated on your knee. Feeling the pain in your knee numbing, you close your eyes.

 The next thing you know, Taehyung in shaking you awake, calling out your name in his low baritone. When you gain some semblance of consciousness, the first thing that you register is the fragrance of food. Your stomach grumbles, and Taehyung chuckles at you. He helps you sit up, and shoves a takeout box in your hand. You thank him and dig in. Once you're done, he cleans up and comes back to sit beside you.

 "How are you feeling now?"

 You flex your leg a little, and when it doesn't hurt that bad, you say, "It feels better.  I'll just take a painkiller and knock out."

 He nods his head, hand reaching out to feel over and around your knee. After being satisfied, he rests his hand on your knee, and looks at you. "I'm glad. Just be careful."

 In a moment of courage, you rest your hand over his and say,

"I can't thank you enough. For getting me home, taking care of me, feeding me."

 His eyes crinkle as he smiles, and he rests his other hand over yours, your palm now sandwiched between two of his. He leans closer to you, and whispers,

 "You don't have to thank me, doll. But I can think of a few things you could do."

 The way he says these words makes tingles run up your spine, the intent clear in eyes, made clearer by his words. You close your eyes and lean back on the sofa, knowing that Taehyung's eyes are fixed on you. The knowledge that this kind, breathtakingly beautiful man has a crush on you, and moreover wants you, gives you the confidence to act a little, if not more coy. With your head now tilted towards the ceiling and your eyes closed, you channel your inner heathen and say,

"And what would they be, hmm?"

When you hear him suck a breath in beside you, you smirk inwardly. You wait for him to say something, but he just retracts his hands from yours. This action makes you open your eyes and tilt your head to look at him, question clear in your gaze.

Just as you're about to sit up and say something, you're hit with a face full of Taehyung, and suddenly his palms are grabbing your face and his lips are on yours. The shock makes your eyes widen, but as you register what's going on, your eyes close and your hand fists his shirt as you kiss him back.

Taehyung's lips feel way better than you could ever imagine, and the warmth seeping into your skin from his palms makes this experience feel real, and not just fantasy. When his lips suck on your lower lip a little harder, you arch your back, your upper body lifting off the couch. This makes him slide one hand off of your cheek and around your waist, and he pulls your body closer to his.

At this point, he's basically straddling you. When his tongue probes your mouth, one of your hands grab the back of his hair and pull. The low groan he lets out as you disconnect from his mouth and start sucking on his neck makes you quiver, the thought of hearing the same baritone in your ear as he pounds into you making you want him even more. He parts from you, and as he sits up, your hands leave his body.

 "What do you want?"

 You bite your lip, and instead of answering, one of your hand rises to his waistband. Instantly, his hand grips yours, and as he smiles, he leans down to kiss your palm. Against it, he whispers,

"Want me to eat you out? Wanna cum on my tongue?"

You gulp at the thought of this man between your legs, and nod at him. Something in his face hardens, and he drops your hand, only to lean over you and grip your chin.

"Use your words, baby doll. What do you say?"

You maintain eye contact with him and whisper,

"Yes."

Though your answer makes him loosen his grip on your jaw, only makes him move closer to you.

 "Yes what?"

 "Yes sir."

 At your answer, Taehyung's eyes widen, and then a smirk spreads across his face. His hands urge you out of your top, and he throws it over his shoulder, uncaring as to where it lands. 

His eyes take you in, and in a second he's getting off you and pulling your leggings and underwear down your body. You struggle a little to lift your ass off the couch, a little pain shooting through your knee at the pressure. Taehyung makes you rest your injured leg straight on the coffee table. After making sure you're comfortable, he leans down you kiss you, on of his hands making their way to your tits. When he squeezes and twists a nipple, your body arches off the couch, legs spreading wider.

Once Taehyung's satisfied from claiming your mouth, he gets down on his knees in between your legs. For the first time, you see hesitation cross his eyes as he nibbles his lower lip. You lean up, and say,

"I want you. Please make me cum, please."

A smile blooms on his face, eyes lighting up as his hands move up your thighs. He leans forward, kissing up the inside of your left thigh, his hands squeezing where they hold you. After a few kisses, he suddenly bites, which makes you reach out to grip his hair as you moan.

 Indifferent to your reaction, he moves forward, his hands widening your legs as he comes face to face with your core. Sounding absolutely wrecked, he says,

"Fuck I can't wait to taste you."

With this, he kisses your mound, and then spreads your outer lips.

 "Holy shit, darling, it's all for me, right?"

 You card your hands through his hair as you whisper an affirmative. Happy with your response, Taehyung leans in and envelops your clit in his lips, and sucks. Slowly, he starts making strokes with his tongue, delving deeper. He speeds up the motions of his tongue, now moving it in and out, and puts a finger in your core. The slide is tight, and it makes you both moan. But he doesn't stop, if anything, he gets even more determined. 

Soon, he adds another finger and his tongue moves onto your clit. The added stimulation makes the knot in your core tighten, the arousal pulsing stronger in your veins. He takes his mouth off of your clit with a pop and leans back to see his fingers scissoring as they move inside you. You tilt your head down to take a look at him, and dear God above, he looks wrecked. His hair is all messed up, thanks to your fingers, and his lips are swollen and glistening, and you're pretty sure his chin is too.

 Fuck.

 Your eyes roll to the back of your head as this visual ingrains itself in your eyes, a whimper falling from your mouth as you say,

"Fucking God, please fuck me. Want you so bad, please."

 "I'll think about it if you cum like a good girl first."

  His fingers speed up, and he leans down to capture you clit in his mouth again. This time, he's absolutely brutal with the way he goes at you, nothing gentle about his mouth or his fingers. Just as you feel yourself climbing up to a climax, he adds another finger, his tongue now flicking across your clit.

 As you get closer to the finish line, your moans turn into curse words, your voice getting louder.

 "Fucking Hell, Taehyung, don't stop! Shit! I'm s-so close, please, please, I'm gonna c-cum!"

 Saying nothing Taehyung curves his fingers inside you as he lightly bites on your clit, and that's all it takes for you to let go. Your body pulls taut, legs shaking around him, hips riding his fingers. His fingers and his mouth guide you along your high, and even after you've come down, his mouth still keeps laving over your clit. You moan in oversensitivity and that's when he deems it enough.

 He gets up, but groans out while straightening his legs. You giggle at his facial expression, and he stands over you, hands on his hips, mouth drawn into a pout.

 "I just ate you out but you're laughing at me, huh?"

 This makes you laugh out loud, and you say,

"Can't believe you're a grandpa."

 His mouth falls open, flabbergasted. His mouth tries and fails to form a word, and his mouth just bubbles out a laugh. He's shaking his head as he takes off his tee, and throws it on the couch beside you. Oh you're definitely not laughing now.

 "Well, this grandpa did get you off, baby doll. Now, where's the bedroom?"

 He leans down to pick you up, his hands urging your thighs to wrap around his hips, your arms wrapping around his neck. You hold on tighter when he stands up straight with you in his arms. He leads you to the bedroom, kicking the door open and walking in. He lays you down on the duvet slowly, mindful of jostling your leg. 

Once you're lying on the bed, he goes to get a pillow and puts it below your knee. You make eye contact with him, hoping your smile conveys how grateful you are. He smiles at you, expression shy. Pointing at the bedside table, you say,

"The condoms are in here."

 He raises an eyebrow, but gets a condom and climbs on the bed. Once he's in between your legs, one of his hands knead your thigh, the action relaxing your muscles, making you let out a sigh. Seeing your reaction, he leans down to kiss your tummy, trailing light kisses down to your pelvis.

 "You look so beautiful like this. So lovely."

 His hand glides up your inner thigh, two fingers plunging into you without warning. He pulls out, only to push back in, your soft wet walls accommodating to his ministrations easily. When he doesn't hear you making a sound, he scissors his fingers, and starts sucking a hickey on your hipbone. A shiver runs through you, and you let out a whimper at the sudden influx of stimulus.

 "Such a sweetheart, huh? Always ready to let me know how good I'm making you feel."

 As he says this, he adds another finger, and the added stretch makes you arch off the bed. Soon, Taehyung has you moaning his name, your hands reaching out to hold onto the bedsheet. Taehyung slows down his fingers, and asks you,

 "What do you want? Tell me. Tell me and I'll give it to you."

 The husk in his voice makes you groan, the timber of it sending trills of arousal shooting through you.

 "Want you to fuck me. Now. Right now."

 Pulling his fingers out of you, he whispers, "Then that's what you'll get, baby."

  He takes off his gym shorts and his underwear, his cock standing hard and proud, the tip glistening with precum. While stroking his cock, he says,

"Although everything in me is telling me to fuck you like the devil you are, I don't wanna add to your injuries. So let's have you wrap you legs around me, okay?"

 Actually processing what he said, you try to move your leg, but the twinge of pain has you nodding your head in agreement.

 Seeing your approval, he gives you a smile and tears open the condom. Your eyes trace him as he kneels between your legs. The soft curls falling into his eyes, the slope of his nose, adding to his charm. The strength visible in his shoulders, all the way down to his arms, makes you want things that can only be done behind closed doors. The thoughts of being manhandled, being pushed into the mattress as he takes you run through your head among other lust-filled scenarios, and these make you gulp.

Your eyes follow when he rolls the condom onto himself and strokes his cock in long motions.

 His eyes, fall onto you, and seeing how you're entranced by, well, his dick, he chuckles. The sound makes your eyes flit to his, your cheeks already filling with colour, embarrassment flooding your mind.

 Taehyung doesn't say anything, just urges your legs to wrap around his waist as he leans over you. That one moment of silence, where you and him are just two people, closer than ever, closer than any galaxies, any stars, seems to last for a lifetime. When he slightly smiles, one of his hands coming up to stroke your hair, you feel a storm brewing where you heart is meant to be. You smile back, and then Taehyung is thrusting into you, the stars in his eyes now clouded by lust.

 The first few thrusts are slow, languid and have Taehyung's eyes flitting over your features, looking for any signs of discomfort. But when he finds none, he gains confidence, his hips moving with more purpose, plunging impossibly deeper into you. Your eyes close, head tilting up as your mouth lets out little moans mixed in with whimpers.

 Taehyung's thrusts slow down into him just grinding his cock into you, and he grabs your chin to make you look at him.

 "Look at me, baby. You feel so good, like heaven. Maybe even more divine than heaven itself."

 The sincerity in his eyes as he says this makes your clench around him, throat choking on the words you want to say. You reach out a hand and put it on his shoulder, which makes him pause his movements. Worry flickers across his face as he waits for you to say something.

 "G-go faster. Wanna cum. Right now. Please."

 The worry on Taehyung's face quickly dissolves into cockiness as he positions himself to pound into you better. His smirk grows as his thrust gets a moan out of you. Continuing with his ministrations, he manages to grunt out,

"This good enough for you, doll?"

 When you don't answer him, too busy whimpering, he leans over you and one of his hands reach out and twist your nipple in warning, hips maintaining their momentum.

"Think I asked a question, darling. Come on, now."

 The hand you had on his shoulder moves up to the back of his head, and as your fingers entangle in his locks and pull, you say,

"Yes! Yes! Dear God, yes! F-feel good."

 He doesn't verbally reply to you, but he hums, the low rumble of his voice making you feel some type of way.

 One of his hands land near your head, the other one grabbing your thigh, and its pound town from there. The room fills with the sounds of skin slapping on skin mixed in with Taehyung's grunts and your moans. The boy in between your legs turns into a beast chasing just one thing, and he doesn't slow down. The sound of sex resounds in the room, making you feel downright dirty.

 Your eyes focus on Taehyung's face contorted in pleasure and his body glistening with a sheen of sweat. Maybe it's this realization, that you have this beautiful man fucking into you that pushes you closer to your climax.

When your walls start clenching around him, the ball of fire in the pit of your stomach so close to bursting, one of your hands reach down, two of your fingers rubbing your clit in desperation.

 "That's it. Make yourself cum on my cock. Let me see you cum, baby. Wanna feel you cum for me."

His words are accompanied by his hips moving faster, hitting the spot inside you, making the fire in you unravel. Your back arches off the bed, mouth opening in a whimper as you cum, body drowning in pleasure.

 Your walls tighten around Taehyung, making him let out a choked moan. With two, three more thrusts, Taehyung is cumming in the condom. He slumps on you, letting out puffs of air, catching his breath. When Taehyung taps both of your legs gently, you remember that they've been there this whole time, and, holy shit, your fucking knee was fucking sprained. Taehyung, apparently has the same realization, because his concerned wide eyes lock with yours and he slowly untangles your legs. Your knee gives a twinge in protest to movement but as soon as it's straight and on the bed, you feel fine. Taehyung pulls out, and ties the condom off, getting up to go and throw it in the bin.

 When he comes back, it's to you playing with your fingers running circles on your navel. You stop your actions when you realize he's back in the room, your cheeks flushing a little in embarrassment. Taehyung mumbles a 'cute' but doesn't say anything else.

Taehyung has a wet towel in one hand, with which he gently wipes between your legs. And when he's done, he leans down to leave a kiss on your forehead, and then he's gone again. Your eyes follow his bubble butt as he leaves the room.

 Exhaustion seeps into your bones, and your eyes close. They only open to the sound of something being set down on the bedside table. You open your eyes and turn your head to see that it's a glass of water, and Taehyung, Taehyung is wearing shorts again.

 You sit up, grabbing the glass and gulping down the water. The thought that you're still completely naked makes you feel shy, even after all of the things you just did. Taehyung sits

 beside you on the bed, taking the glass from your hand and putting it on the table.

 "Uhm.."

 "I ju-"

 Both of you shut up, but when you lock eyes with each other, laughter spills out of you. With a smile on his face, Taehyung speaks first.

 "What were you going to say?"

 You think for a moment, wondering if what you're about to say will sound weird or not.

 "Uh, just that, do you want to stay over?"

 With disbelief painting his face, Taehyung asks, "You want me to?"

 You try to keep the endearment out of your voice as you deadpan, "Oh no, the monster under my bed just liked your feet and told me to ask you to stay longer."

 It takes a moment for your words to register, but when Taehyung realizes what you just said, laughter tumbles from his lips.

  Your concerned friends knock on your door the next morning, and a clueless Taehyung opens the door to let them in. Your friends barge in to find you wrapped in a blanket, lying on the couch, Haikyuu! playing on your TV. Taehyung just stands there, neck full of hickies, rampant sex hair, smelling like your body wash.

 Your friends look at you for a moment, then turn to Taehyung only to turn back to you. When one of them asks you what the hell you've been doing yesterday and where you've been, you lock eyes with Taehyung as you smugly say,

 "What can I even say? It was one heck of a workout."

[acciowests]

From Lorcan With Love

WORD COUNT: 1707

SUMMARY: A "From Lukov With Love" inspired ice hockey x figure skating AU featuring Lorcan Salvaterre and Elide Lochan from "Throne Of Glass"

Lorcan and Rowan arrive early for training and walk in on a figure skater finishing her session. It isn't until she falls that Lorcan rushes forward, helping up the woman he learns is called Elide and immediately begins to fall for her charms.

"You know, you didn't have to wake me up this early, right?" Rowan drawled as they pulled into the Orynth Rink parking lot. With their first game of the season taking place next Friday, Lorcan Salvaterre - Goalkeeper of the Terrasen High Hawks - had booked out the rink for three whole hours of practice. Along with being Lorcan's best friend, Rowan Whitethorn was also the captain of the Hawks, their school's ice hockey team. Despite having napped for most of their journey, Rowan's brows were furrowed in a tired frown, his lips in a thin line as he stretched in his seat.

The capital's Ice Rink mainly housed ice skating: including singles figure skating, pairs ice dancing, as well as the annual sectional competitions and sometimes the national one also. None of that meant much to Lorcan, he just knew the Orynth Rink also showcased professional Hockey Teams, such as the Orynth Stags; a team he had dreamt of being a part of since he started his ice hockey journey at seven-years-old.

"Stop complaining, old man," Lorcan chuckled, smirking at the silver-haired boy. "Get the bags from the trunk will you?"

Sticking up his middle finger noncommittally, letting it fall into his lap, Rowan climbed out of the car, rounding toward the back of the vehicle. Lorcan switched off the engine and stepped outside. Grabbing the gym bag full of their gear, Rowan hauled it over his shoulder as Lorcan locked the car, the two boys walking through the parking lot and toward the rink.

The changing room was empty, as Lorcan expected, and the two boys changed in comfortable silence. They pulled on their team jerseys: deep green with silver writing that displayed their name and number. Paired with sweatpants and their elbow and shoulder pads, as well as their shin guards, the boys shoved their bags into the lockers, along with their phones, and headed out to the rink. Walking off the ice with skates on had always felt weird, even with the skate guards that protected the blade. Heading down into the stadium, Lorcan's eyes locked onto the lone figure skater within the rink. The clock overhead told him she still had fifteen minutes left, which meant he and Rowan had fifteen minutes of waiting.

Slumping down into a seat, Lorcan set his elbows against his knees, leaning forward and watching the petite, raven-haired girl dance across the ice. Beside him, Rowan drummed his feet lazily, Lorcan ignoring him completely as he listened to the sound of her blade across the ice.

When, and if, he saw figure skaters, they were always wearing glittery costumes in shades of reds, purples and blues. And though he was sure most skaters did dress down for practice, the girl before him looked like she dressed in the dark. Which, if she had booked a three hour practise, she just might have. Ignoring the grey leggings and burgundy sweater showing a Perranth Skating Club logo, she skated as though she was in front of thousands. Each turn was sharp but smooth, each of her jumps or leaps landing perfectly - to Lorcan's untrained eye, anyway.

"I was thinking we could do some new drills. As captain, I reckon we have a good shot this season. I think we could rank high, come out on top," Rowan started, interrupting Lorcan's gaze.

"Right, yeah. If the others even get here," Lorcan sighed, not that he minded. He was much enjoying his time watching the beautiful skater.

"Chill out, Lor. There's still five minutes, they'll be here," Rowan insisted, nudging Lorcan's shoulder.

Shrugging, Lorcan turned to face the rink, just in time to watch the skater turn back into a jump. She took off from the back outside edge of her skate, using her toe pick to help her spin twice, and just as her foot hit the ice, her ankle gave way. An echoing thud rang out around them as she hit the floor, her thigh and butt slamming down onto the ice as she fell.

Before he even realised what he was doing, Lorcan stood, rushing down the rows of seats and towards the rink. Removing his skate guards and tossing them to the side, Lorcan stepped onto the ice, skating over to the girl who was now curled up, a hand against her thigh and stretching a leg out before her.

"Hey, you okay?" Lorcan called, coming to a stop beside her and offering her a hand, "That looked like a pretty nasty fall."

The girl chuckled, rubbing her thigh once more and taking his hand. Her palm was surprisingly soft, cold enough to send a shiver through him as she gripped tightly. Hoisting her up, Lorcan didn't miss the wince that slipped between her lips. Before he could say anything, she shook her head, "It's fine, it's just my ankle."

As she stood before him, Lorcan tried not to smirk at the immense height difference between them. At least a whole foot. Instead, he just nodded, "Well, that jump looked pretty hard. From what I've seen you're a pretty good skater. You shouldn't let one fall get you down."

"Not good enough. I should be able to do that jump in my sleep. There's no way I'm going to win sectionals like this," she sighed, running a hand through her hair. Her left hand, Lorcan realised, was still in his. She hadn't put her ankle back down onto the ice, instead, she rested it against her other foot, off the ground where there was no pressure on it.

"What happened? Is it just a strain?" Lorcan asked, hoping he wasn't being too curious. His eyes were drawn to the flush of her cheeks, bright red against the pale shading of the rest of her face. With her mop of black hair against glowing skin, she looked ethereal.

"I wish," she scoffed, "No, I broke it a few years ago and it never healed properly. I lost my axel completely, had to relearn my entire program and make all the moves easier. I already lost regionals, I can't afford to lose sectionals too," she explained, her chest rising and falling.

"Well, how long until sectionals? Maybe with some assistance, and physiotherapy on your ankle, you might be able to win?" Lorcan suggested, watching the girl's eyebrows slowly furrow as she looked up at him. They were thick and black, arching over her face and defining it fiercely.

"You don't know when sectionals are?" she asked, as though it was the most obvious question in the world.

Lorcan chuckled, shaking his head, "Oh, no. I'm not a skater. I play ice hockey."

The girl blinked, her eyes widening, "Oh... Oh my god, I'm so sorry. You probably have no idea what I was just talking about, do you?"

Lorcan couldn't help but laugh, loving the way the girl's lips curled into a smile as he did so, "No, but it's fine. I can tell you're very dedicated. I'm Lorcan, by the way, Terrasen High Hawks."

"Terrasen High? Wait, Lorcan as in Lorcan Salvaterre?" she asked, brows raising. Lorcan knew he recognised her. He could have sworn she was in the year below him, he would remember her face anywhere.

"The one and only. You're a junior, right?" he replied, helping her skate back across the rink and toward the entrance. She reached for her skate guards as he remained on the ice. Slipping his hand to her elbow, he helped her balance as she stepped back onto the stone ground.

"Right. Elide Lochan, Perranth skating club," she smiled, sticking her hand out. Lorcan shook it happily, loving the warmth that radiated from her like electricity.

"Perranth is lucky to have you represent them," Lorcan smirked, biting down on his bottom lip. There was something about the girl before him, something that made him feel completely giddy inside. If his teammates saw him like this...

Elide rolled her eyes. Chocolate, Lorcan noticed, the perfect shade of swirly hazelnut. "Now you're just being kind!" she laughed, a melodic sound that he wished he could capture forever, "Thanks, by the way, for helping me up. I probably would have just laid there until my session was over."

Lorcan grinned, something he didn't do too often, "Well, you're lucky I was here. Couldn't have you catching a cold, can we?  I heard hypothermia is a killer."

Pressing her lips together, Elide shook her head slowly, "No, I suppose we can't."

With an obnoxious slam, the doors to the rink swung open. The remainder of his team poured out, dressed and ready for their training session. A blur of green and silver, plus the grey, black and navy blue of Adidas sweatpants. Gavriel was at the front, the oldest on the team, his golden hair tied back in a bun and a grin on his face as he reached Rowan.

Rowan stood, patting Gavriel's shoulder and moving down the rows of chairs. "Lorcan," he called, heading toward the equipment cupboard in the corner of the rink, "Help me get the stuff out!"

They always borrowed sticks and pucks from whatever rink they were training at. Lorcan only used his own stick for final games, an object of good luck. They would also have to drag the goals out, setting them up to actually have something to shoot at.

Offering Lorcan a smile, Elide stepped back, rocking on her good foot, "So, I guess I'll see you around then?"

If he had his phone to hand, he would have asked for her number right there and then. But, he didn't. As she turned to walk up the steps toward the changing rooms, Lorcan called, "We have a game next Friday, will you be there?"

Elide stopped, looking over her shoulder and smirking, "Depends, are you inviting me?"

Pushing down the chuckle that tickled his throat, Lorcan nodded, "I am, and maybe we could hang out afterwards... Just the two of us?"

"Sure, sounds fun. See you Friday, then," Elide confirmed, turning almost immediately and rushing up the stairs.

Lorcan watched until she completely disappeared from view. He could smell the cinnamon and elderberries scent that lingered in her wake. Elide Lochan. Friday couldn't come sooner.

* * *

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[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 10/15/2021

Hey, you know how you’re downloading something sometimes and it’s just going along, like 4 minutes left, and all of a sudden something happens to your network and the progress bar informs you that your download will be done 35 hours from now? Anyway, that’s me.

I was sick last weekend and I have been stuffed up every since. My kids had two days off school this week. I’ve been doing a bunch of yardwork (which is probably why I am stuffed up).  Anyway, I have many various and sundry excuses for why I wrote nearly nothing this week, but the real reason is because I had the absolute hubris to project a date of completion last week, and now I am paying the price in writers’ block. 

I did write a little, mostly yesterday, and immediately decided I was probably going to end up deleting it (I might be able to ravage it for parts, we’ll see). I did edit a few early chapters and sent them off to my beta, like I said I was gonna. I refuse to do a word count this week, hopefully, next week I’ll do better and I’ll just do a two-week word count.

I’ve been trying to use the not-terrible title I came up with, and it’s not working, the title is terrible. I guess I’m back to not having a title. 

I feel like I should have planned myself a break in here, but I am pre-stressed out about the holidays and I feel like either I will finish this thing up before the end of November, or it’ll be next February and I really do not want it to be next February. As they say, tho, if you don’t plan breaks, breaks happen to you, which is possibly what is happening right now. 

I finished the art I promised you. It is autumnal and cute! Yay?

Anyway, in an attempt to make myself more excited about this story, and also because I promised, we’re doing excerpts now. Here’s the whole-ass prologue, because it’s short and, uh, why not?

Renji waved his hand in the air. “Juniper-y, with hints of melon,” he proclaimed.

“I like this one,” Rukia announced, motioning for the bottle back.

Renji took another swig and handed it over. “Yeah, it’s not bad. What’s the name of it again, Chrysanthemum Pond?”

“Chrysanthemum Lake,” Rukia read off the label, and took a long draw. 

It was fairly common for dinner guests at the Kuchiki household to present Lady Rukia with a bottle of fine sake as a welcome gift. She had long despaired over what to do with this surfeit of high-end booze, until her good friend and partner-in-crime had noted that he wanted to “know more classy stuff,” so Rukia had hauled a few bottles up to the hill that overlooked the Thirteenth Division training grounds and so they could get ripped while making a lot of utterly uninformed hoighty-toighty commentary.

“Hey, Renji?” Rukia asked, examining how much sake was left in the bottle.

“‘Sup?”

“I got a… a question for you. Important question.”

“Hit me.”

“When is your next um, stripeys? Tattoos. When are you getting more tattoos?”

“That,” Renji said, pointing a finger at her. “Is a good question.” He leaned back in the grass. It was late March, not yet really spring, but the night was warmish, and they were making the most of it. 

“You get ‘em when you do cool stuff, right?”

Renji scratched at his stomach. “Yeah, I used to get them to mark my achievements. First Hollow I killed, every seat I climbed, every certification I got. But then I kinda fell behind.”

“Fell behind?” Rukia echoed.

“Yeah, it’s your fault mostly. I mean, I got the ones for bankai.”

“The butt stripes are for bankai.”

“They’re not really on my butt! They are on my very upper rear thighs!”

“That’s just the lower butt.”

“There is no lower butt. That’s a thing you made up.”

“Lower butt.”

“Arright, arright, shut up. Anyway, got my butt stripes, noted. I also fought your brother, that was a Big Deal.”

“You didn’t win.”

“It’s true. I didn’t die, though, that’s kind of like an achievement. To be honest, everything after that was the same sort of mixed bag. I led the Advance Team, but it was kind of a shitshow.”

“No one died.”

“It’s true, and we came in under budget, also very important. Uh, we went to Hueco Mundo. I fought an Espada and once again, did not die, also did not win. I helped back up Ichigo, along with you and everyone else. Which doesn’t sound like much, but if all of us hadn’t fought our hearts out, Ichigo might not've made it and if Ichigo hadn't made it, we might all be dead now. Might be the most important thing I ever did. You an' me went on a mission to the Living World and got commendations for it, but then we got our memories wiped, so we don’t know what the commendations were for. I got invited over to your house for fancy dinner. That was like an achievement.”

“That was not a fancy dinner. That was just regular dinner.”

“It was the fanciest fucking dinner I’ve ever been to. Anyway, my point is, I don’t know how to count anything anymore. I thought once I made vice-captain, there would be all sorts of very clear-cut milestones, and I was wrong.”

“You should just go get some more fucking tattoos,” Rukia suggested, taking another sip from the bottle.

“Yeah, maybe I should.” He stretched out his legs. “You’ve been achieving stuff. Vice-Captain Kuchiki. Who actually killed an Espada. And has summoned her zanpakutou spirit. Maybe you should get some fucking tattoos.”

“Well,” said Rukia slowly. “That’s actually why I brought it up.”

Renji abruptly sat up, despite the fact that it sent his head spinning. “Let’s. Talk.”

[novasintheroom]

Ooooo a fresh blog! Heyo there! So, my first request is some head canons, if you write them anyway, for the each of the turtles having a s/o who is usually the purest of beans. Like— she doesn’t get angry, usually shy when meeting new people, very humble, sweet and caring— but for the first time she does it’s like she realizes she’s frustrated and mad about something that happened during the day and it’s the first time she’s expressing it. the turtles notice her come in knowing something is off about her behavior when she’s usually so cheerful. Almost like “Sometimes it just makes me so— it makes me so... so...! Angry!” But she actually gets super surprised with herself realizing she’s actually venting just to say she’s fine in the end after bottling up for so long. The turtles just looking at her and asking if she’s okay 😂 If that makes any sense.. sorry if it doesn’t.

Oooooo my first ask!! I’m so nervous and excited! I think I got the gist of what you’re getting at. Thanks for sending this in, it means a lot to me! <3

Leo

·         Honestly caught off guard when you come in steaming

·         Your calm and sweetness is something he loves and looks forward to – it’s hard being the firm leader in his family when everyone pushes back, so you’re a pleasant break from the arguments and sassy remarks

·         Not today

·         It’s loud in the lair – Raph and Mikey are doing something with a basketball and hula hoop that’s got Raph raging and Mikey screaming, Donnie’s got a power tool going on the truck, and Splinter’s Celine Dion music is blaring to drown it all out while he works on pruning his plants

·         Leo’s up in the concrete rafters with a book, glancing down every other minute to make sure Raph doesn’t kill Mikey

·         He would have completely missed you coming in if Mikey hadn’t thrown the ball toward the entrance

·         You dodge the ball before it hits you, but instead of laughing it off like usual, you throw a dark look at his brothers and beeline toward the dojo.

·         Woah, that’s weird

·         Avoidance of his family = big red flag

·         You didn’t even say hi to him??

·         Hops down and follows, waving off Mikey’s calls to you

·         Finds you in the corner of the dojo, bag thrown to the side and hands smoothing out the sand of his small zen garden

·         Feels a bit awkward honestly

·         Listen, he’s getting better at it, but he’s not the best at feelings

·         Especially girl feelings

·         He knows something’s up though, and he wouldn’t be a good beau if he just let you simmer

·         Spooks you when he asks if you’re okay

·         Darn those ninja skills, how is someone as big as him so silent?

·         You sigh and just say you had a fight with your roommate and that it’s fine, you just needed some quiet before you went to his family

·         Okay, coolcoolcool. He can work with this. He and Raph fight all the time! “What was the fight about?”

·         Cue explosion

·         “She doesn’t pay her part of the bills on time, and she has her boyfriend over constantly and I can hear them through the walls when they’re screwing because the stupid cheap apartment has stupid cheap thin walls, and she leaves her dishes everywhere even when I ask her to not be a slob, and the landlord is getting after me for her rent when– “

·         W o w

·         He didn’t think you knew any swear words, but the names you’re calling your roommate would make even Raph blush

·         Your rant goes on and on

·         Anytime he tries to suggest a solution you get angry at him like why can’t he just listen omg

·         He shuts up quick

·         Somewhere in the process he sat down and your head moved to his lap while you laid all your problems out

·         By the time you’re finished your chest is heaving and it’s been an hour

·         Leo’s scared to say something in case you go off again lmao

·         He just plays with your hair and hums while you calm down

·         Finally you look at him with wide eyes, “Wow, geez, I didn’t think I was that mad.”

·         He can’t help but laugh, “Me neither.”

·         Your smile is back, though, and that’s the best thing he’s seen all day

·         “You feeling better now?”

·         You say yes, and give him a good hug and kiss as thanks for his patience

·         He asks you to come to him if things start building up again

·         Seriously, start talking to him – I don’t think the poor guy can handle another explosion like that lol

 Raph

·         Raph knows anger

·         Does he know how to deal with it? Ehhh that’s hit-and-miss

·         But he knows it

·         So seeing your tense shoulders, clenched fists, grinding teeth when you walk in – he knows you’re angry

·         It’s a bit off-putting tbh – you’re the calm to his rage, the quiet touch to wind him down when something gets under his skin

·         What happened to make his quiet girl so mad?

·         Did someone say something about your family?

·         Or something about your outfit?

·         Did a skeevy guy try to touch you?

·         Did someone try to kiss you?

·         Okay, now he’s getting mad

·         Decides to take a page from Splinter’s book and pulls you aside to talk

·         “What’s the matter?”

·         You pull at your sleeves, looking anywhere but him

·         You just mumble you’re fine, and that you’re hungry and try to move to the kitchen

·         Nuh-uh, that don’t work with him

·         Catches you by the arm and gives you a look, “Somethin’s bothering you, and you’re gonna tell me what it is.”

·         “And what if I don’t wanna talk about it?”

·         “Tough luck.”

·         Your glare could curdle milk, but you don’t say anything

·         Alright, you wanna play it that way? He’s got three brothers he grew up with; he can get it out of you.

·         Hauls you up and tosses you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and takes you to his workout station

·         Ignores your screams of outrage and the beating fists on his shell

·         They’re like little kitten paw pats; he can’t help but smile at how small you really are

·         When he sets you down in front of a world-weary punching bag, he crosses his arms and waits

·         You’re red faced and snarling. “What are you doing?”

·         He raises a fist, and gives the bag a good punch – “That’s for when Mikey backwashed into my water bottle today.” He throws another punch, “And that’s for Donnie’s stupid snorts waking me up last night,” and another, “and now I’m back on Mikey’s backwash!”

·         He stops the bag’s swaying and gestures for you to take a turn

·         Realization dawns in your eyes. You look at your fist and throw a pathetic punch at it. “That’s…for my fifth plant…dying this week?”

·         He almost laughs, but nods encouragement

·         You punch again. “That’s for whoever stole my lunch out of the fridge at work.”

·         And again. “And for those kids who spit on that homeless guy!”

·         And again. “And for Gina’s face when she made fun of my teeth!”

·         Punch after punch, you let out your anger and frustrations that boiled over today

·         Raph’s impressed – not just with how much crap happened to you, but how long you held it in

·         You’re a lot stronger than he gave you credit for

·         He’s also a bit freaked at seeing the rage in your eyes

·         Is that what others see when he comes at them?

·         Yeesh

·         You feel a lot better after the session, if sheepish for letting so much anger show

·         But he brushes it off, “Hey, you see how I am. It don’t bother me none, sweetheart.”

·         He pinches your butt for good measure as you walk back to the lair and laughs when you punch him in the arm

 Donnie

·         The one that takes the longest to realize something’s up

·         He can’t help it! He’s busy making sure his family is safe and hidden! He’s gotta keep the firewall up-to-date from all the new viruses being put out, check the perimeter lasers so that no one sneaks up on them, change the oil in the Turtle Tank, and why is the computer sparking over here, he needs to ask Raph or Leo to come with him to get new parts at the junkyard, but if he –

·         Bumps into you and is like ‘oh. how’d you get in here’

·         Delighted to see you though! It’s like all his worries suddenly vanished when he realized ‘oh yeah! I have a girlfriend!’ and that’s you!

·         Missed you a lot since it’s been a few days since you could visit

·         Starts showing you all of the progress he’s made on certain things, asks you how school’s going, how was that group project you had, did you get that interview for work?

·         It’s your clipped and short answers that finally makes him take a step back and really see how you’re doing

·         You’ve always been enthusiastic about his inventions, even if you don’t completely understand every technical thing he talks about. He thought you guys were past the awkward conversations too.

·         Clipped answers are a big no-no – it makes him shrink inside, like his words and ideas don’t matter

·         Takes a few seconds to look you over – awkward seconds, ones where you look down and away and not at him

·         “Are you alright? Did…something happen?”

·         You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself, but then the words just start pouring out: “I’m sorry, it’s just, I can’t stop thinking about how my supervisors treated me the past few days. They scheduled me to work a triple shift! Without asking me! And I told them I had a date with you, and a million other things to do, but – “

·         You lay it out for him, apologizing every other minute for just putting this on him out of the blue, that you tried really hard to be happy coming to the lair but your boss just text you that you have another shift tonight instead of getting to hang out with Donnie, and –

·         Donnie sits you both down in a couple of chairs, his hands holding your own as you keep talking and venting

·         Rubs circles into your palm, eyes never straying from your own watery and frustrated ones

·         A breath out of the nose is the end to your rant, and you lean to put your head on his shoulder. “I just hate when people spring things on me! I just wanna stay with you and hand you tools to work on stuff.”

·         His heart warms at this, even if he’s sad at how sucky your job is

·         And it gives him an idea

·         He manages to hack into your work’s scheduling system and put your supervisors or fellow employees in your place for the night

·         Even sends out a text masked as your head boss to whoever he put, letting them know they’re on the job and that you had an emergency

·         You’re torn on this – those people had things they had to do too

·         But Donnie reassures you: “If they’re as bad as you say, then getting more people mad at them might just make them change. If not, we at least get to have our date night, right?”

·         Well, when you put it that way…

·         He gets a big, long smooch for pulling it off and for listening to you

Mikey

·         Listen, this boy is intuitive when it comes to emotions.

·         He kinda has to be with the type of older brothers he has lmao

·         Instantly knows something’s up by the sound of your feet coming down the tunnels – heavy, like you want to stomp them but don’t know how

·         He’s geared up though – his baby girl’s coming!

·         Hops off the couch and has the biggest grin for you when you walk in

·         Doesn’t even falter when he sees the glower on your face

·         Says something stupid to test the waters – “Woah, babe, I’m gonna have to call the cops – I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to be as fine as you are!”

·         Not even a smirk.

·         Okay okay. Obvi you’re not in a happy mood.

·         Man, he was hoping for a little blush at least!

·         Takes that heavy bag off your shoulders you’ve been lugging around all day and corrals you back to the couch

·         Grabs some sodas and a few chocolate bars from his hidden stash in the kitchen

·         He knows you need it more than him right now

·         Sits down and calls out to the lair that “we’re making out on the couch!!” Def keeps his family from coming in and interrupting lol

·         Isn’t even phased when you explode about your day – your coworker had it out for you, your professor told the whole class that your paper was what not to do if you wanted a good grade, etc. etc.

·         Mikey accents your day with “No!” and “He didn’t!” and “What a jerk!”

·         It’s cathartic to hear someone agree with you like that

·         He takes you in his arms when the frustrated tears start falling and you start to wind down

·         “It just makes me so angry, and I hate feeling embarrassed and…”

·         Rubs circles on your back to help calm you, just like his family did to him growing up

·         After a minute you’re better, and back to your sweet, happy self, if still a bit stuffy from the tears and snot

·         You’re surprised and apologize for your emotions, but he stops you

·         “Hey, everyone has their bad days! Sometimes you just gotta let it out, y’know?”

·         You give him a big kiss for being so sweet

·         Makes the day a lot better after that with the soda and candy and some video games

·         He’s a good turt <3

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 20

Chapter 20 is finally here and sorry for the wait. I work full time and I am doing uni as well. I have an assignment due next week so I had to leave my fic aside as well.

Tonight here in Scotland is a big night for rugby fans. Rowan and Lorcan from my fic will be probably celebrating with me just now. Scotland has won against England at Twickenham (Home game for England) and for the three of us it's a very, very, very, big thing. I guess our two men are on their way to the pub to get totally pished (wonderful Scottish word for drunk).

Also, I was so involved in the game that I almost forgot to publish tonight.

Chapter 20 has been a challenge. I have changed a part of the story about 4 times and I hope I chose the best plot. We get to meet Chaol. I know in the books he is not as horrible but i made him a bit more horrible just for the sake of the story. Also, be happy that it finished the way it did. In one of my plans I had gone for much, much more angst. Then I told myself that I was writing a fluffy story and ignored the cruel idea.

Oh, I forgot to add that there is just a smidge of smut.

I really hope you will enjoy the chapter.

------------------

The next morning Aelin woke up before Rowan again. She had a fantastic sleep after the perfect day they had at the festival, but now she was ready to celebrate Rowan because his birthday had finally arrived. She turned to him and he was still sleeping soundly. The lines of his face soft making him even more beautiful. She had planned a birthday lunch at Maeve’s, she had a few presents for him, but most especially she intended to wake him up in a very special way. The night before he had gone to bed with just his boxer and shirtless, which meant he had been much more tired than he let it show because he never did that before. Slowly she pulled the blankets back revealing his naked chest. He was sleeping on his back making her plan much easier. Wickedly she removed her top remaining naked from the waist up. Gently she straddled him and then leaned forward depositing kisses along his torso making sure that her naked body was in full contact with his. She heard him moan softly and he slowly come to awareness. Surprise flaring in his eyes as he took in their position.

“Good morning, birthday boy.” Her body brushed his, her hard peaks against his skin. His eyes went wide. “What—” but she kissed him deeply not letting him finish the sentence. He shifted up until he was in a seated position and Aelin kept straddling him, then she leaned a bit back allowing him to look at her properly. “You are…” and he pointed at her state of undress. “Your first present.” She took his hands and placed them on her breasts. Rowan’s mouth crushed against hers, avid and needy and she did not hold back. His mouth then travelled to her neck and finally he grabbed her hard peaks in her mouths and Aelin arched her back into him. His other hand found its way in the waistband of her underwear and grabbed her butt pulling her closer to him. She felt him hard against her and she had to try very hard not to grind against him. His touch became more demanding as his tongue was doing wicked thing to her mouth. “You can touch me whenever you want,” she breathed in his ear and Rowan groaned and flipped on her back, his body now towering over her. “You…” a lick on her neck “have…” a gentle bite that sent her mind reeling “no…” his mouth on her breasts again “idea…” and his teeth closed on her nipple. Aelin gently moaned. His hands were taking in every inch of her body and she felt on fire at his touch. His mouth followed the lines of her abdomen until he reached her underwear and placed an almost reverential kiss at the apex of her thighs. It was a simple gesture but Aelin almost lost it. His mouth travelled back up and locked again onto hers but a finger slipped between her legs. He pressed gently at her sensitive spot and she felt her body jerk. Using the fabric of her underwear for friction, his finger was now making circles and she felt his mouth bend into a grin. This was not what she had planned. It was supposed to be the other way around with her giving him a special treatment for his birthday. Aelin suddenly felt it, the pressure build, her core now starting to tighten and until release rippled through her like a river out of control. She lifted her head and screamed in his shoulder. She rode her high and he did not stop until she was spent. Then he gave a quick kiss on the mouth and collapsed on the bed at her side, propping his head up with his fist. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to regain composure “This was not what I had planned,” she turned to face him and his grin was wide “I was the one one supposed to give you such a lovely good morning. Not you.” And she poked his shoulder, in response he leaned over and kissed her again. “You provoked me.” His knuckle traced her breasts “with these.” He kissed her again “and I really, really loved my present.” Still half naked she got out of bed and went to her old room to grab his presents. She came back and climbed on bed under his hungry stare. She sat down, not bothering to get dressed again. She handed him the first present and he opened it and smiled when he realised what it was: a green t-shirt with the Peat and Diesel logo. His face blossomed in a lovely smile. “Put this one on.” He said handing the t-shirt back to her. “Does it really bother you to have me naked in bed?” “No,” he said leaning closer “I want something with your smell on.” She put the t-shirt and he kissed her “perfect,” while slowly his hand sneaked underneath the fabric. She patted his hand “I have one more present.” “Very generous woman.” He sat back and took the envelope that she handed him. Once opened, he read what was on it. It was a handmade coupon for a romantic getaway of his choosing. “You choose the location. It can be the mainland or here on the islands. Anywhere in Scotland to be honest. And you get to choose when as well.” She explained “My only rules are that it’s somewhere possibly quiet and with a lot of nature. And once we have the location, I get to chose the accommodation, which will be of course on me since it’s my present to you.” She looked at him “You choose the location and the dates, everything else is on me. Clear?” His mouth was on hers again and she pulled him down on the bed where he landed on top of her. “Thank you for your presents.” She hoped he decided on his getaway as soon as possible because she could not wait any longer. His hips slammed into her and ground against her thighs gently and Aelin groaned against his shoulder. With all the force she had she pushed him off and flung herself out of bed “Breakfast. Work.” She said breathless “Please Ro, I am about to lose my wits.” And she moved to the kitchen to cook breakfast. There was no way she was letting him cook on his birthday.

The morning at the bookshop had been busy. The town was buzzing with festival goers and also tourists and they had their constant stream of people flocking in and Aelin was in her element. Some of them even had told her they had discovered the bookshop on Facebook and her face morphed into a grin. She had gone back to Rowan and told him and she bragged about her amazing PR capabilities. He, in response, rolled his eyes. “You might be the owner, but I put the shop on the map.” Rowan chuckled and kept working on his computer. Aelin got closer and sneaked her head under his arm peeking at the screen “So you are ignoring me for paperwork?” “Aelin, I am not ignoring you. You know I need to do this and reconcile the invoices.” He turned his head and looked at her. “I can handle that for you if you want.” “Title of your sex tape.” He kissed her and grinned. Since Aelin had introduced him to Brooklyn 99 he had become obsessed with the show and they have been binge watching it for a while now. Rowan had also started to make ‘title of your sex tapes’ jokes and she was so proud of him. “I created a monster.” She laughed leaning a bit more against him. He put an arm around her for a moment and kissed her head “Can I just finish this? That you can annoy me all you want.” “Fine,” she said, walking away and swaying her hips on purpose “Come and call me when you are done.” He grinned “You know what I am about to say, right?” “Yeah, title of my sex tape.” And she walked away to play with some of the shelves and let him finish work as he asked. It was a couple of hour later when Rowan joined Aelin. She had one shelf completely empty and was now re organising the non fiction section. “What are you doing?” “I am giving a chance to some of these books to be noticed.” She replied while hauling a small pile to the table “This is the slowest seller section. Fine, we don’t have many titles, but we need to make an effort so it does not lie here forgotten.” “Go ahead and have fun. I trust you.” Then he looked at a couple of titles “Let’s choose one title to put in this week’s recommendations.” “Great idea.” He left her when a customer came in and froze at the sight. He knew that face, he had seen him in a picture Aelin had binned after she moved to his place. Rage surged in him. “I am looking for Aelin.” The man said. Aelin recognised that voice and jumped and went to the front of the shop and stared at the man. “Hi babe,” Her hands fisted at her side and Rowan was at her side as soon as he noticed. “What are you doing here.” Her voice dangerously low. “Saw all you lovely pictures on Instagram and had to come and have a look where my dear ex wife had moved to.” His hands went to his pockets and strutted around the shop admiring it with curiosity “So this is where you work now? A bookshop?” He added in a mocking tone. Aelin was now shaking with rage and Rowan placed a hand on her lower back which did not go unnoticed by Chaol. “Your big dreams seem to have taken a hit.” “Why are you here?” She asked again, reining in the desire to thump him. “To take you back of course.” “You what?” Aelin was speechless “What makes you think I would want to come back with you?” “You love me.” He moved one step closer, ignoring a seething Rowan at her side “I know we had our issues but I am ready to start again. I left her. No more lies. I just want you back. We can have a trial run and then get married again.” Aelin was so shocked by the admission that she could not do anything “I can’t.” She finally said. “You lied to me for over a year. You treated me like a monster. Cheated on me and now you expect me to come back to you? Just because detective slut has left you?” She took a step toward him “You have some guts.” “Aelin, please,” he grabbed her wrist but Rowan grabbed her as well and pulled her back to him. Chaol looked at Rowan and the man straightened up to try and look as imposing as possible. Rowan was a good twenty centimetres taller than Chaol. “Seriously? This guy? You are leaving behind your life in London for this guy?” Aelin heard the growl coming from Rowan. “There is nothing in London for me, Lysandra aside. My life there is a part of the past, same as you are.” “Aelin I was wrong okay? And I am sorry for the way I hurt you. But these months without you made me realise I miss you and I want to do all I can to take you back.” He took another step closer to her. Aelin started pacing. Her mind was spinning out of control. There was no way she was going back to him. Never. She was furious. “I am not coming back.” She eventually said in a low tone, looking at him in the eyes. “My life is here now. I am looking for a job as a doctor here. And I have Rowan. You had your chance and you blew it. Now it’s too late. You should have fought when there was a chance to fix things. It’s over Chaol.” “A job here? Treating what? Sheep? Come on, Aelin, you have more ambition than that.” Rowan almost lunged forward but Aelin stopped him and gave him a tender smile. “Even on an island people need doctors. This is my life now.” She placed herself between the two men, facing her ex husband “And I love it here.” “You can’t be serious.” His tone was getting on Aelin’s nerves. “Like a heart attack.” Was her dead pan reply. Chaol ran his hand through his hair a move that a long time ago it would have sent her shivers down her spine and then ended up in his arms. “It looks like your leg has healed.” She needed some time to refocus. He was taken aback by the sudden change of topic “Yeah, Lysandra is a wizard at her job. I am still walking slowly, but I abandoned my cane last week and I will go back to work the next one.” “Good.” “Aelin, can we please have lunch together and talk? Perhaps without an audience?” And he glared at Rowan. “No. I have said all I had to say to you.” She sighed. He was always stubborn “I have no regrets for the divorce. We were not happy anymore. You were a cheating bastard. It was the only option and you need to accept it. I have moved on. Now it’s time you go back to London and do the same.” “Did you fuck your boy toy already?” Aelin stepped dangerously closer to Chaol “Yes. And you know what?” Another step “He made me scream in a way that you never did all those times he fucked me against a wall.” That was petty but Chaol was out of line and she had enough of him. Then she took a step back and joined Rowan and placed an arm around his waist. She could see rage in his eyes. “Aelin has been quite clear. I would recommend you to leave this shop immediately and never come back.” Rowan’s voice was flat and she realised she had never heard him like that. It was eerie. He was furious. Probably just as much as she was. “Chaol, please…” “I loved you.” He shouted “I still do. I don’t deserve all this hate. It was not all my fault. You didn’t even try,” he stepped back. He was about to add something else but gave up in the end. “Fine. Enjoy your pathetic life here. Enjoy your new boy toy, I hope he can handle you. You are not worth it. Not anymore.” And with those words he left. As soon as he was out of the shop Aelin let out a sob. Her hand to her mouth and her body shaken by the now full blown sobs. Rowan moved a step to her to try and console her but she moved away. She went to the back office and gathered all of her stuff “I need to be alone.” “Aelin…” Rowan’s hand was extended in an effort to stop her. “Leave me alone. Everyone.” She growled and left the shop. Rowan felt his heart break at those words. He only moved again when he heard a customer enter the shop.

Working had been a nightmare. Rowan’s mind kept thinking about Aelin’s broken stare. She pushed him away and the whole thing was driving him insane. She wanted space and he was going to give it to her but it did hurt. He closed the shop at his usual time and went back home with dread in his guts. She hadn’t texted him and he was getting worried. They were meant to go to the ceilidh but that was probably off the table now. And he raged. He was looking forward to dance with her. Once at home he changed into something more comfortable and crashed on the sofa. He lay down and placed a hand on his head and his mobile on his chest, just in case he had news from her. He was almost falling asleep when the phone buzzed. He jumped seated and went for the mobile. It was a text from Aelin. I am sorry. Are you okay? Where are you? Tolsta. Was all she said. Rowan stood and debated what to do next. She had told him where she was. Did it meant it was okay now for him to join her? He paced for half an hour and in the end he decided to go to her. Then he stopped. His car was still in the shop and swore loudly. He had a look at the buses and for a moment he hated island life where buses could be infrequent and stopped after a while. He couldn’t even ask his aunt because she lived outside town and she needed the car to go back home. Finally he decided to get a taxi. It was his only option. He booked the ride and got changed again very quickly. The ride was short and fifteen minutes later he spotted her car at the car park and made his way to her, his heart hammering with fear. What if she was going to break up with him? He knew it was a stupid idea but he was terrified. Once he reached the beach he noticed her seating in the sand, her arms around her legs and his Glasgow uni hoodie on. He had returned it to her the day before. He stopped behind her. “Aelin.” “I am sorry.” She said in a voice that broke his heart. “Can I sit down beside you?” She patted the spot on the sand beside her, but never turned to face him. Rowan sat down beside her and noticed she was staring out to the sea. Her eyes were puffy and anger resurged in him. “I am sorry… I din’t mean…” she leaned her head on his shoulder and her crying resumed. His arm went around her and pulled her closer and rocked her in silence. “He made me so mad.” And another sob rippled through her “I am so tired of hurting for him.” Rowan wanted to say something but at the moment he had nothing that could help her. “I gave him ten years of my life. Ten. And it just went down the toilet.” She breathed in deeply and tried to regain some control “what’s the point in falling in love. It just ends in pain anyway.” Rowan froze at those words. She could not be really thinking about giving up on them. Aelin stare met his “Even us. What’s the point? Knowing my luck you’ll grow tired of me in a few years and bugger off to a new woman.” Rowan kissed her “No.” He said cupping her face and forcing Aelin to stare at him “No. I understand that right now you are in pain, but you can’t give up on us.” And he kissed her again to make his point “I don’t know what fate has decided for us, but I know that I will do my very best to make you happy. You are my everything and I am not giving up on you. Don’t even think about it.” “You say that now—“ He stopped her “Aelin I know my feelings. I am in this for the long run. I love you. And I have never been surer of my feeling in my life. You have to believe me.” “I am scared.” She confessed, snuggling to him “What if we are going too fast? We have known each other for only a few months. We already live together and share the same bed. We said to each other things that people who have been going out for a few months don’t usually say. I am terrified.” She looked up at him, fearing the hurt she would see in his eyes. His hands never left her face “I am scared too. After Lyria left me I told myself never again. I was willing to be on my own forever because I could not cope with the idea of committing so much again. And then you appeared in my life and all my resolutions went to hell.” A gentle kiss on her lips “I have the same fears as you. I love you. Madly” then he smiled at her “If we were in a fantasy we would now confess each other we are soulmates and I would praise our love with an epic speech.” “But we are not…” she added sadly. “No, but it doesn’t change what I feel for you. The fact that no matter how crazy it sounds, I am sure about us. Somehow my soul is telling me you are its missing half. And it frightens me, but I am not giving up on you just because I am scared.” Aelin caressed his face and stared at him in silence. “If you want to slow down, go back to your room or find your own place, I will understand.” She shook her head, tears flowing down her face “No. No, never. I am fine just the way things are. Chaol’s words hit me more that I was expecting. I thought I was over all the pain, but it looks I am not.” “You were not ready. You were not expecting him to come into our shop and say those horrible things to you.” He pulled her face to his chest and hugged her tight “I was terrified when you left. I thought I lost you somehow. And it was the scariest feeling ever.” “I thought about breaking up with for a minute. I was trying to convince myself that not being attached to anyone was the better option. Then I tried to picture not having you at my side and I was even more scared, because I can’t.” “I almost punched him.” Confessed Rowan, lingering in the feeling of her body against his “I have never punched anyone in my life but for him I would have made an exception.” He heard her chuckle and the ice gripping his heart finally thawed away. “That would have been a show I would have paid to see.” “I ruined your birthday.” She sniffled. “You did not. Police officer did. We just blame him.” He kissed her head “being here with you is perfect enough. You are my most precious present.” Aelin laughed “That is so cheesy.” He followed her “I know. I am shocked. See what you did to me?” He felt her hands cover his on her waist “You transformed me into a man who sings epic declarations of love and says cheesy things. You ruined me.” They were silent for a while and then Aelin spoke again. “Ro? I applied for a job as senior emergency surgeon.” She had applied for the job a few days before but hadn’t been able to tell him. It felt like a betrayal. He turned to her and smiled “Good.” “You are not mad at me?” He squeezed tighter “Why on earth? It sounds like an amazing opportunity and I could never be mad at you for choosing to do what you love.” “But the shop—“ “You don’t worry about the shop. Go, get the job and rattle the stars. I will be very proud of you.” “It feels like a betrayal.” And Rowan understood her uncertainty. “No it’s not. Not even close. You are not leaving me or abandoning me without reason. For as much as I hate the man, Chaol was right. Working in a bookshop is not for you. Not with the skills you have. The hospital will be very lucky to have someone with your experience.” And he meant it. Every single word. He wanted her to succeed “unlike some people, I am not scared of a successful woman at my side.” And she finally grinned at him and light reached her eyes still red from the tears. He kissed her forehead. “Ro?” “Yes?” “I am not in the mood for the ceilidh tonight. Can we just stay at home and watch Netflix or read? And snuggle?” “We can also order food and have a very quiet birthday evening. I would love that very much.” “Thank you. Rowan just kissed her. He’d do anything to make her happy. To make sure he could see that wonderful smile on her every single day of their life together. Then he finally stood “Come on. Get your arse off the sand and let’s go home. We have season five of Brooklyn nine nine to tackle.” She stood, stopped right in front of him and kissed him “I love you.”

[phcking-detective]

FOUND

Find Familiar: ch 1

Rating: E

Summary: Nines cast the spell Find Familiar, but instead of an animal, they accidentally summoned a werewolf. Gavin is just happy to have finally found his mate and start pack bonding with the half-elf wizard. His best idea for a fun bonding activity? Touching his dick of course!

***

Gavin wakes up with a warm, breathing body pressed against his own, and it's all he ever wanted.

Then reality seeps in like cold rain and he realizes it's just the one person, not a dog pile, because he doesn't have a pack. Only a wizard who maybe sort of magically owns him now.

So that's a great start to the morning.

He gets a stew started like he promised, once he finds some potatoes and carrots, one lonely haunch of meat in an icebox, and no spices beyond salt. There aren't many places to look, since the whole room is five, maybe six hundred square feet.

Gods. Gavin's a lone wolf living half-feral without a tent or even a fire half the time, and he still thinks this is pathetic.

He knows better than to touch any of the books scattered around—fucking wizards—so he doesn't try to clean anything while he waits for his new … boss? Alpha?? person, to wake up.

(He does risk moving a stack of papers to sit in front of the black leather collar on the desk. Not hidden. Just. Out of sight.)

"No celery?" the wizard asks.

Gavin bites down on a flinch and a few choice swears. Sweet Selûne shift him. Who the fuck goes from asleep to awake completely silent like that?

"No," he growls.

Nines blinks themself more awake. "Is your negative an agreement to my question or simply a negative?"

"Baby, I have no idea what the fuck you mean, but there's not any celery."

"Oh. Thank you."

The conversation ends there when he dishes out a bowl of stew, that Nines eats at their desk, one agonizingly slow bite at a time, almost as an afterthought as they work on creating papers and papers of writing.

Since the wizard is so absorbed in their scribbles they can barely notice food, Gavin strips down and takes a bath. The water runs hot straight out of the faucet, even without any signs of pipes. Sinking into a whole tub of it feels goddamn luxurious.

He's half-shifted before he even realizes, but Nines probably wouldn't notice he got out and swung his dick around like a propeller, so he doesn't force himself back. His hybrid form always feels better anyway, the best of both animals, with human hands and wolf senses, still able to stand and walk upright but with stronger muscles and thicker protective body hair.

He's still sunk down and amusing himself by blowing bubbles in the water with his near-snout when Nines finally surfaces for air on their own side of the tower.

"Gav—oh."

They turn around and blink at him. Gavin hunkers down lower in the water and prepares to force himself back, but even without actively poking the bond, he can tell there isn't any fear or revulsion from the wizard. He still pulls his snout of out the water and scents the air just to check, but … nothing.

"Good. Yes. Feel free to utilize any of the …" Nines pauses, stuck on the words. "Accommodations. Can you read?"

It's probably a fair question—especially since the answer is barely—but Gavin still hauls himself out of the bathtub and onto the sand pit so Nines will have to look at him. All the scars, the body hair almost thick enough to be a pelt, the way his bone structure is clearly halfway between one form and the other right now.

But instead of making the wizard flinch away and stop asking questions, Nines just grabs a different notebook and begins sketching him.

"Why?" Gavin growls out.

He can still speak, but just like his amount of literacy, the amount is barely. With lots of effort.

"Hmm?"

Nines looks up. Sort of. They lift their head at least, but their eyes stay focused down on their notebook, reluctantly dragged up at the very last second.

"Mm? Oh. Yes, here is your contract," they say.

They place the small stack of papers they'd written onto the dining table in the center of the room, then the two of them meet in the middle, each awkwardly taking a seat across from each other at the table, then staring at each other even more awkwardly.

"That is my brother's seat," Nines says.

Gavin raises an eyebrow but doesn't move his ass out of it. At least he put pants on before sitting down.

"I have never had another visitor," the wizard continues. "So. That has always been …"

They trail off, then grab their notebook and begin reading from it.

"My name is Nines. I am a wizard. I am thirty-two year half-elf. I do not have a gender. I use they-them pronouns. Pause for—"

They stop abruptly and look back up at him.

"… Gavin," he says. "I'm a fighter, thirty-six, werewolf. Born, not turned, so we don't really keep track of any races. You're either a wolf or you're not. Probably human though. Uh, he-him."

If they don't bother with human binary genders, maybe they'd understand just … switching genders? He thinks about it while Nines writes down what he'd said, like anything he says is actually important enough to be recorded.

Maybe he should let them get a little more attached to him before he tells them about the other crazy, evil wizard with a claim on him—and all the transformations they'd done on his body.

"Does your entire pack consist of born lycanthropes?" they ask, drawing him back into the conversation.

"Can just say wolves," Gavin grumbles. "And yeah. Haven't taken in a stray for a while."

No one does. That's why he's still—ugh, stop it. Fucking feeling sorry for himself.

"Is there a significant cultural difference between born and turned … wolves?"

Gavin stares at the wizard. Significant cultural difference, Selûne shift and collar him.

"Turned wolves don't have a pack," he finally says. "No one to share the mental load—most of the poor fuckers don't even know what's happening until they're already shifted and scared and starving. They've got just enough instinct to go back home, and then the screaming and running starts …"

He assumes he doesn't have to finish it from there. A hungry wolf sees something run, and they think prey, not child.

"I apologize if I ask simple questions," Nines states while still writing. "But I have never had the opportunity to meet a wolf in person, and so my knowledge is likely biased and incorrect. Is a coastal environment a suitable habitat for you?"

Gavin shrugs. "Sure. You gonna let me run around outside at some point?"

"Yes, of course. You may come and go as you please," Nines says. "How much land will your pack need? I do own the surrounding—"

His pack? Gavin stares at Nines as they ramble on about this land they own and how it's too rocky to support farming but has access to a cove, and the ensuing treaty with the local pod of merfolk, and—

And his pack. He has no idea what game the wizard is playing, but he never imagined it would include letting him "come and go as you please" and providing land for his—

"I don't have a pack," he blurts out.

Nines stops and blinks at him.

"Got kicked out."

He doesn't explain. It's impossible to explain just one thing, because it's all tangled together, in his mind, the words stuck in his throat. Refusing his pack's Alpha, bargaining to have his body changed and transformed, his womb scooped out so he could never be bred, never ever—

And where exactly that got him. They sit together in silence for a long, horrible moment.

"No one has need of a ninth child," Nines finally says.

"You really call yourself that?" Gavin asks in return, for lack of anything less dick-ish to say.

"Yes." Nines looks at him without any self-pity and factually adds, "It states all that most need to know. They do not need me, and I do not need them."

Gavin nods. "Fuck 'em."

"Yes. Well. I—" Nines stops and abruptly pushes the small pile of paperwork closer to his side of the table. "Here is your contract. It details what I … do need. And, expectations. I suppose the fifth clause is no longer necessary, unless you intend to create your own."

"My own … pack?" Gavin asks slowly.

"Yes."

He snorts. "I'm not going to run around and start turning people."

"Yes, that is included in the clause," Nines says. "Subsection A. Not to offend, but I thought it best to lay out a certain number of precautions first. B notes that you will be beholden to all the same laws as any other citizen, and C states you will make adequate arrangements for the full moon with myself or Knight Commander Anderson."

Gavin pulls a face at the rank. That shit's almost definitely a paladin. No sense of humor, holier than thou, and allergic to critical thinking. Just because you pledged allegiance to a deity society deemed "Good" doesn't actually mean literally everything you do is always going to be right or kind or morally just.

"He is also a lycan—" Nines stops and corrects, "A turned wolf, you called it? If expecting the two of you to … have commonalities … is unreasonable, then the subsection can be adjusted accordingly. The point is merely that you arrange for a safe and secure location each month."

"Yeah, we're not going to sniff each other's butts and be best friends," Gavin tells him. "It's probably how you feel about sorcerers and warlocks. Magic just looks like magic to me, but—yeah."

He stops when he sees Nines's face collapse into itself in the purest form of affronted disgust he's ever seen. This time, he can't stop a chuckle before it slips out.

"I can just stay here though?" he asks.

Nines unfurls their face enough to nod. "Yes. My power may be my own, achieved through my own studies, but I was sent to the same monastery as my twin. I acknowledge you have been sent by my patron deity, and I will fulfill my responsibilities to you thusly."

Gavin's eyebrows shoot up. "You're religious?"

"I worship Selûne," Nines answers.

Gavin stares at the wizard.

"Children born under the full moon often have enhanced magical ability," they explain. "She is also the goddess of navigation, quests, and all who work by night. It was the battle with her own twin that caused the formation of Mystral, the goddess of all magic. Many arcane users still worship her as such."

"And werewolves," Gavin says as how this shit all happened clicks into place.

"Your duties outlined in the contract." Nines stops and clears their throat. "Every power has a price, and mine was enacted at my birth. I have always needed certain accommodations. I realize now a mere animal would not be enough to serve as my familiar, yet a person has never been summoned before. A familiar that is both animal and person, however …"

Gavin nods at the stack of papers. "So am I your familiar or your employee?"

"Well, both," Nines answers. "You are magically bound to me, but you obviously are not a simple animal. I have made adjustments due to these extenuating circumstances, but this is a standard contract for all minions, assistants, and others employed by wizards."

He snorts. "Do I have a union?"

"Yes, subsection E, although you will need to opt-in," Nines replies, very sincerely.

Gavin taps the top paper to make a point when he asks his next question, and the paper suddenly yells the word "HEREFORE" at him.

"Oh, my apologies." Nines takes the stack from him and scribbles a few marks in the top corner. "There, the volume should be properly adjusted."

Gavin cautiously slides the papers back over, being careful to only touch the sides of the stack. He takes the first page off the top and pokes his name, one of the few words he recognizes.

"Gavin," the paper announces.

"I have paperwork I must complete to officially register you as both my familiar and my new minion," Nines tells him. "I trust you can be left to your own devices to review our contract?"

"Yeah," Gavin says.

"Very good."

Nines gets up and returns to their desk. Still no collar, only … this contract. Gavin runs his finger along the first line.

"The entity known as Gavin, herefore referred to as THE FAMILIAR, will enter into a magically binding contract with Nines, herefore referred to as THE WIZARD, to serve in the capacities of both a FAMILIAR and a MINION, as outlined by the Wizard Coalition of …"

***

Gavin nuzzles into his bed and groans. Three days of barely stopping to hunt and sleep to get here, and now it's been another three days of slowly figuring each other out.

Which hasn't been bad or anything. He got to run around outside, do a few laps around the borders of Nines's land. Cold, wet, and rocky, but he has to admit, he's kind of digging the melodramatic sea-side vibe. The air smells like salt and storms all the time, crowding out all the memories of soft earth and dense forest.

And he's got a contract. A "boss." That's the word Nines wants to use, so Gavin says that, but they both know he means Alpha.

It's good to have a job, food, and a bed, blah blah blah, he's really grateful and all, it's just—

Maybe not everyone has them or wants to indulge in them, but Gavin does for both.

And it's been nearly a week.

"Nines," he finally says.

He pokes at their bond too for good measure. The wizard won't pay attention to him unless he does. They'll look up and point their face at his face, but somehow their hand will keep writing in the scroll and they won't hear a goddamn word he says.

Even with the mental prodding, Nines barely turns their head. "Hmm?"

"I need to jack off."

Nines keeps writing for half a second before they blink and actually look at him. "… now?"

Gavin half-shrugs, still laying down. "I mean, tonight, yeah."

He's a werewolf using testosterone cream—kept in a jar in his coin purse, which was much more important to enchant to shift with him than shoes—who just formed a mental pack bond again. Full moon already past or no, his hormones are screaming at him that he needs to fuck.

But that's probably not Nines's idea of a fun bonding activity.

"Do you have adequate lubrication?" Nines asks, then continues with narrowed eyes before he can even reply, "Do not use my spell components."

Gavin barks out a laugh. "What—I'm gonna jack it with oblex ooze? That'd melt my fucking dick off!"

"Yes, it would."

He pauses. "Do … you know that for sure?"

Nines sighs. Deeply. "I attended an academy meant to train paladins, clerics, and perhaps the odd druid."

"All the most repressed spellcasters, huh?"

Nines doesn't deny it. Gavin snorts, imagining all the magically-inclined tithe-children being told to keep themselves pure so they can be properly donated to the gods turning into magically-inclined teenagers hit with guilt and libido in equal measure—and all the idiot fuckery they probably got up to without any actual education about their bodies.

"Do you have adequate lubrication?" Nines asks again. "I do not keep supplies for that on hand."

"You don't keep supplies or you don't uh, keep anything on hand?" Gavin wiggles his eyebrows.

Nines flushes and glares like they're still a prefect at that academy. "I—that is not—"

Gavin raises his own hands to prove they're above the sheets. "If that's not any of my business, sure. Figured that, honestly. Which is why I'm telling you that I've got needs, but I can just go downstairs if you want."

"Downstairs?" Nines frowns less furiously.

"That little entranceway at the door is large enou—"

"I'm not going to send you out into the hall," Nines says, like that's what will make them clutch their pearls in shock. "You can stay in your own bed."

"Yeah?" Gavin gives the wizard a once over. "I'm good with that. So good. But what I'm willing to do with pack and what you think is appropriate for a roommate probably isn't the same thing."

Nines's frown turns more calculating, like they're correcting the runes in a spell. "We are discussing you staying in your bed to masturbate while I continue my studies, correct?"

"… yeah?"

"Are you going to call me names, attempt to touch me, or—"

"No, no," Gavin rushes to reassure them. "I can just …"

He moves his hand down and cups himself, just to demonstrate that he's only going to be touching his own body, before he remembers that's not socially acceptable around humans either. Nines only cocks their head to the side though, a mild curiosity leaking through their mental bond.

And fuck, just his hand feels good right now. It's been nearly a goddamn week.

"Do you have adequate lubrication?" Nines asks.

Gavin shivers under the sound of their voice. "Don't need it. Get wet enough myself."

He feels the bond pulse again with that academic sort of curiosity, like Nines is going to start taking notes on him again while he jacks off. He pushes his trousers down, moving slowly enough to give his boss plenty of time to look away. He isn't wearing smalls of course. They'd just be another piece he'd have to pay to get enchanted.

Nines eyes his cock like they might sketch it in exact anatomical detail.

Gavin doesn't mention how he got it—his bargain and the Collar, the collapsed tower, the vows of vengeance—he'll get around to confessing it all eventually. But in the meantime: a fun bonding activity.

Gavin grips his cock and gives it a few strokes. Nines blinks in a way that's more like shutting their eyes repeatedly. He exhales slowly and makes himself stop, although he does still keep his hand held loosely around the base.

"If you don't want echoes, you'll have to wall off your mind on your own end," he advises Nines. "I'm uh … a little too busy here to concentrate."

"Echoes," Nines repeats.

Shit, right. Human. Doesn't seem to specialize in any divination or enchantment magic—so they probably don't have any experience being inside someone else's head.

"Yeah, that's why I offered to," He jerks his chin at the door. "Distance helps, some."

Nines does that tiny little head tilt again. "May I observe?"

Gavin licks his lips. "Yeah."

"May I ignore you?" they ask next.

"Uh, sure?"

He doesn't have any human hangups about nudity, but he's not going to whip his dick out and waggle it at anyone who doesn't want to see it. Jacking off in the same room is probably already pushing it, but then again, the rules seem to be different in boarding schools and barracks and sometimes bars but sometimes not—humans have so many weird fucking rules.

"Then," Nines says. "You do as you please, and I will do the same."

"Works for me."

Gavin gives his cock another squeeze, and Nines turns back to their scroll. Yeah, he's a little disappointed about that, but it's enough just to have his pack in the same room and know he's not alone.

Since the wizard isn't watching anyway, Gavin rolls over and shoves a blanket down around his crotch. He has a whole nest of them, all piled up on top of a mattress Nines insisted he have. They'd tried to bring in an actual bed, but it's just weird, sleeping so high up and away from the ground for no reason.

He gets a soft little mound built up and grips himself again through the blanket. Even if Nines makes him wash it after, this will make his bed smell like him and home and—

Gavin buries his face into his pillow and inhales. It still has Nines's scent on it. All the blankets do too, so now they'll smell like the both of them, like pack.

He feels a fresh jab of interest spike back through their bond and guesses Nines is watching him again. Maybe jacking off right in front of them like that was a little too much, but with everything mostly out of view now, they're back to curious again.

It only takes him a minute to build up a steady rhythm, rutting into the blankets and his own hand. He groans into the pillow and hears Nines breathe in sharply.

Echoes. He grins and keeps going.

He doesn't know what kind of needs Nines has or wants to fulfill, but he likes the thought of making them feel good. Would like it even better if he could crawl over between the wizard's legs and find out what they're working with by licking it.

"Gavin …"

The wolf whines in response to his name in his Alpha's mouth. He squeezes his hand tighter at the base of his cock against the knot trying to plump up there, just in case Nines wants it.

"Yeah, baby?" Gavin manages to growl.

"Oh."

Nines breathes the word, and Gavin can feel a small simmer of arousal bounce back and forth between them—this time from the wizard's end, not his.

"Does it always feel like this?" they ask.

He groans in answer, the only response he has to the soft wonder in their voice. He knows humans' senses are weak and dull, that they don't get hit with lust and frenzy the same way wolves do.

But hearing the awe in his human's voice the first time they feel it too makes him want to show them how good it can really feel.

"Yeah," he bites out. "Better with … you."

His canines get in the way of the words, the partial shift rippling through his body. He's never had particularly good control of it, so there's no stopping the change now when his blood's up.

"Are you wet?"

The question stabs through him. Gavin loses his rhythm with a whimper, nearly overcome with the instinct to crawl over and show his Alpha, present his cock or his mouth or whatever hole they want to use.

And he is wet. He can feel it dripping down the length of his cock, more pooling at the head, smearing into the palm of his hand.

"Uh huh," he pants.

Gavin bites down into the blankets as he ruts harder, but a sharply clicked tongue brings him back to awareness. He turns his head to the side and blearily stares up at Nines as he continues fucking his own hand.

"I would like to hear you," Nines says.

"Baby," Gavin breathes in reply.

Nines closes their eyes and shivers. Well, if they like his voice …

"Wanna lick you," he says. "Suck on you and make you—ahhh, make you feel good."

"I—" Nines stares at him with wide eyes.

"Shh, shhh." Gavin keeps making the noise in a low mumble as he slows down his pace into a dirty grind. "Gotcha baby, get my mouth on your nipples an' your neck, your mouth, make you wet too."

"I don't usually like to be touched," Nines admits.

Gavin's brain snatches onto the word usually, but he doesn't want to push. There's some shit he knows for sure he won't ever do, but then there's a lot more he just doesn't know if he really doesn't want, or maybe only in the right situation, with the right pronouns and body parts, the right person, but then how is he supposed to know if he wants it enough to try it if he won't know if he actually wants it until he's already tried it?

So that's a whole big nest of wyverns, and neither of them need to try to sort it out right this moment.

"Can give you this though, yeah?" Gavin asks.

He twists his wrist on the upstroke against the head, but then stops and holds completely still. Nines tries to strangle a whine in their throat at the lost sensation.

"… yes."

That confession sounds much better. Gavin grins at the wizard and starts thrusting again, still looking at them. Their long eyelashes and shoulder-length hair almost soften their face into pretty, but then thin lips, a straight nose, and strong jaw sharpen the effect back up again. And the ice-blue eyes set against pale skin and black hair just sends it all careening past beautiful or handsome into big words about being scary-haunting-magical that the wolf can't think of right now.

He can feel his orgasm building up, drowning in those eyes staring right back at him, but he squeezes harshly at the base of his cock. The sensation strangles at the root, like the little moans Nines won't let escape their mouth.

He probably shouldn't tempt it, but he sinks into the feeling of tightening and loosening his grip around his knot and the waves of pleasure that sends rolling through them both.

"You," Nines says but can't seem to find anymore words.

"Mmgff." Gavin huffs into the pillow and tries to make his own words work. "Good, feels good. Sorry. Won't knot if—fffuck."

If that scares you. Disgusts you. Bores you, to be stuck listening to him come and come and come while the exasperated wizard is trying to focus on their studies.

He pries his eyes back open when he hears footsteps and stares up at Nines paused in an awkward-half crouch over him, like they're not sure if they're allowed to touch. His tail makes the decision for both of them by immediately wagging in anticipation of pets and attention.

"May I touch you?" Nines still asks.

Gavin nods past a desperate whine. A hand slides up the back of his neck first, while another soothes over his bare flank. Must've kicked off his trousers at some point. All that matters is the hand on the back of his neck, pinning him down, holding him place, exactly where he should be for his Alpha.

His tail wags harder.

"May I see?"

The hands urge him to roll over, and he does, without hesitation, like a dog showing his belly when his master comes home.

Laying on his back like this, he knows the partial shift is even more apparent. Just about everything humans think they know is bullshit, but his hybrid form really does look like those shitty illustrations of big scary wolf men.

And that's without the thick, hairy cock jutting out between his legs.

He's proud of it, wanted it, needed it, but that was for himself. He wasn't trying to impress anyone, and he's not expecting a human to like it.

"Does your phallus typically have this appearance, or is it increasingly engorged due to your partial transformation?" Nines asks.

Gavin stares up at them and tries to impress through their mental bond just how many fucking words that was.

Nines flushes and tries again. "Does it get bigger when you shift?"

"Yeah," he says. "Touch me?"

He holds his cock slightly out toward the wizard in offering. Nines hums in consideration but doesn't make any move toward it. That's fair.

"Do you knot without …" They struggle with the words again. "Sex?"

Gavin strokes himself, tugging upward and pause at the head. It leaves his knot free below, not quite there yet, but noticeably swollen under the attention.

"Can. Sometimes."

"Will you show me?"

Nines stares down at him and meeting their eyes is like looking at the moon. Humans want so badly to sort everything into Good or Bad, even the deities they worship. But some things aren't good or bad, only intense.

Gavin nods, mouth slack and panting. He wraps his left hand around his knot to work it while his right keeps stroking the rest. Nines's eyes sweep up and down him like a search light scanning for a rogue.

"Feel … good?" he asks between pants.

Maybe he's already asked, but it's hard to think right now. He tugs at the bond, trying to pull Nines's mind closer to him, get them to come down out of the sky and feel it with him. The wizard's hands clench into the robes draped over their kneeling legs.

Then they open their eyes again, and Gavin could swear their irises really have turned a silvery-blue.

"Behave."

The order thunders down their bond and into his chest. Gavin groans, the tightness coiled inside him easing another measure. He's not quite ready to unspool, but maybe—maybe just a little?

"I am asking about you."

Nines's voice changes from questioning and a little stilted to informing him of how it is, like casting a spell. Gavin doesn't have any ability himself, but as far as he knows, that's kind of how they do it. Spell casting is just telling reality what to do with enough conviction that reality up and does it.

"Do you want to be mine?"

Gavin thrusts into his hands in answer. It's sloppy and a little pathetic, because there's nothing for him to rut into. But he starts nodding again, just in case that wasn't enough.

"Like this?" Nines touches him for the second time, one hand gently curling around his throat. "To be mine."

He's coming undone. Falling apart. Food and shelter and an Alpha, their own little pack of two, someone touching him and promising to claim him.

"Suh … 'posed to be … yours."

He knows it's true, it's true, true. The call in his mind, their contract, both of them bound by Selûne.

"Yes," Nines confirms. "Show me."

Gavin comes almost before they finish speaking. He tries to hold eye contact as long as he can, but eventually his own squeeze shut as he curls in on himself with a shudder. The first wave passes deceptively quick, with just a few spurts from his cock.

But he's not done.

"Good boy."

Those hands are back again, just like before, this time encouraging him to roll back onto his belly. They stroke through his hair and scritch behind his ears when he obeys, and he thinks life couldn't possibly get any better until there's a warm body sliding onto the mattress behind him.

Then he's being spooned and everything inside him unravels without any warning.

When he's done coming for the second time, he's aware of a few things: the hand wrapped back around his throat, first. That the gangly half-human, half-elf is tall enough to almost envelope him completely. The soft murmur of praise in his ear, shifted halfway up his head now and nearly wolf-like.

Yours.

It's harder to send the thought out when he's only partially shifted. Even with other wolves, they all share best as animals, some basic concepts as hybrids, and only faint echoes when unshifted.

But being the wizard's familiar must be different, since he'd heard the summons in his head from damn near across the country, in all forms, while Nines can't shift at all.

You are mine. I will take care of you, if you allow me to keep you.

Oh yeah, that's definitely different. Wolves share senses and feelings, not full sentences.

Keep me, Gavin manages to think back.

"Yes," Nines murmurs aloud.

The third wave hits him, and he sobs as he comes for his Alpha. His body is just doing the best it can to please, still managing to pump out another two shots of cum. He can finally feel a tinge of mild revulsion from Nines, but it seems to be aimed more at the mess than himself. Bold feelings from a wizard who left a hunk of bread to mold so long they mistook it for a stoneshroom.

"Perhaps I should invest in a toy," they muse. "A sleeve somewhat akin to a bag of holding, so that it can contain all this mess."

Gavin groans in a not-sexy way. "Don't make me fuck a void."

"No, the pocket dimension would only be applied at the tip of the—"

He can't help but start laughing. Pocket dimension applied at the tip—and said completely straight. Goddamn wizards.

Nines expresses their irritation at being laughed at by nipping his ear, and yep, there's wave number four. To their credit, they do continue to hold him until he gets another brief reprieve.

"How many times does this occur?" they ask when he's done.

"Depends," Gavin scrapes together enough brain matter to say. "More with … partner."

"Hmm," Nines says, like the feral scientist they are.

Gavin flips off his pride and goes straight to begging. "Please."

He's not sure what exactly he's begging for though—not to be forced into multiple orgasms while Nines observes or takes notes, or that the wizard will get started on that right away.

"Please, please, baby."

Nines pulls him back to rest half on top of their body, which lets them switch their right hand for their left hand around his throat without him laying on top of their arm. And that in turn frees up their right hand to drop down to his cock.

"Yours, yours," he mumbles. "Alpha."

"What do you need?"

Their hand brushes his own, the one gripping his knot. He lets go for an agonizing second to press their hand against it instead. Nines lets him wrap his hand back around theirs, using both of their hands to squeeze and lightly tug the knot.

"Ah … ahhh …"

"Ask properly," Nines orders.

"Alphaaa!"

He practically wails the word, shaking apart in Nines's arms and beneath their hand, but he can't now, it's not enough on his own anymore, not without permission.

"Hmmm."

Gavin cries freely, but doesn't make Nines grip him tighter or stroke him off. His Alpha will give him what he needs, and he'll take what he's given, like a good boy.

But that doesn't mean he can't ask for more.

"Baby," he groans. "Need it, need it, I—phck, please!"

"Yes."

The final wave sweeps over him so hard he goes blind, or his eyes shut, or he's back on his belly again, face smushed into the pillow, Nines's hand still around him and the blankets beneath his cock to rut into and it's not the last because Nines tells him Again and Again, until he's coming dry, throat hoarse from crying.

And then once more after that.

When he regains consciousness again, his whole body feels sore in the best possible way. There's drool running down his chin, tacky and drying to the pillow. He has his knees tucked up beneath him, but that's OK, because this is how he's supposed to present anyway.

Except the hand reaching between his legs doesn't breach him. Something soft and wet swipes over him instead, and he can't even muster up the mental energy to be scared, to explain why that's still there, that he managed to bargain for a working cock and all his insides scooped out, but that's still—

"Hush." Nines soothes him with another hand rubbing his back. "You did very well. All you must do now is rest."

Gavin sinks back down into the delicious ache and doesn't move while Nines cleans the slick from between his thighs, then further up to his cock. The blankets he'd rutted into have already been removed at some point. He knows from experience not even the best wizard on the material plane could wash his scent out though and takes a moment to feel a little smug about it.

"Yes, you came a truly impressive amount," Nines says. "Excessive, actually."

Gavin smacks his mouth before he can speak. "Your fault."

"Hmmm."

Nines stands when he's done and moves away. Gavin manages to flop onto his side and curl up. His boss did say he could sleep now. He just needs a little nap.

He gets a flask of water shoved in his face instead. The hand petting him goes back awkward again, pat-pat-pat instead of real pets. Nines doesn't seem to know exactly what to do now that they're done, but clean up and water was still really nice of them.

Gavin finishes gulping down the flask and heaves in air.

"I have work I need to finish," Nines informs him. "Have your needs been sufficiently met?"

Sufficiently met? Fuck, he's had orgies that didn't wear him out this good.

"Yeah," Gavin answers. "Need to sleep now."

Nines smiles at him. "Excellent. Good boy."

Gavin grins lazily back at them. "And when I wake up, I'm gonna crawl over between your legs and make you feel good too."

Nines flushes and half opens their mouth to protest.

"When you need a break from your scroll-thingy, and only if you let me," he adds.

Nines closes their mouth. They don't say anything else, but that means they also don't say no. Their blush doesn't go away either. They simply stand back up and sit down at their desk, spending far too much concentration fussing over the exact alignment of all their inks and quills instead of looking at Gavin.

Who keeps grinning, even as he yawns and snuggles down in his bed. He just needs a little nap, and then after that … he has all sorts of ideas for fun bonding activities.

***

***

This fic was commissioned by one of my followers to continue the first drabble! Subscribers to my Patreon get early access to all my commissioned fics 2 weeks before they’re posted to AO3 and tumblr ^^

[thrillingdetectivetales]

2020 Creator Wrap

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

Okay, okay, I know I’m late with this but the incredibly sweet @irolltwenties and the utterly delightful @anthrobrat were both kind enough to me in this bad boy and it seems really fun, so here we are!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

According to my AO3 statistics page, I wrote just over 100K of fiction this year, across 17 different fandoms, a few of which won’t actually go live until after the New Year because they’re part of a gifting collection that hasn’t been revealed yet... Anyway, I picked my faves for a variety of reasons, listed briefly after each link. If you have any questions about works I’ve shared (or just in general) feel free to ask!

1. Front Row at the Gongshow

The Pacific, 16K, Rated G  Andrew ‘Ack Ack’ Haldane/Edward ‘Hillbilly’ Jones

Aside from being the longest completed work I produced this year, this is also the first fic I’ve ever written using the “found document” format. While there are parts of it I feel really conflicted about, I’m still incredibly proud of it and think it’s one of the better fic I’ve written...possibly ever. Which is doubly funny because I don’t usually do modern AUs of period fiction, but the hockey angle was enough to tempt and lo, here we are, lol.

[Excerpt from Deadspin]

"You all remember Eddie Jones, right? The corn-fed captain of the New Orleans Rougarou so wholesome he belongs on a box of Malt-O-Meal? The gentleman bruiser who spends his free time playing country tunes for kids with cancer?

Our favorite dapper D-man led his team to 97 points last night in a shut-out victory against the Los Angeles Kings, clinching a playoff spot for the first time in franchise history. Oh! And he also got caught on camera at the after-party, sucking face. WITH A DUDE."

2. Entremets

Hannibal, 8K, Rated E Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter

I have...so many Hannibal fic that I’ve started writing and haven’t finished because all my ideas lead to long plotty epics and also big name fandoms scare me. I did this one up for Eat, Drink, & Make Merry, and I’m really, really pleased with the way it turned out, considering it was my first foray into establishing new character voices and also a successful exercise in writing explicit content, which can be a bit of an Ordeal for me, so overall I’m incredibly happy with it. Plus! My deep and abiding love of writing characters cooking/eating/otherwise dealing with food finally paid off!

“The pâté was supposed to be more of a gesture,” Will explains, spreading a golden sliver of honeycomb out across a slice of sopressata with the blade of his pocket knife. “You don’t actually have to eat it. I’m not even sure if it’s any good.” He smears a healthy dollop of chȇvre across his meat-and-honey concoction and pops the whole thing into his mouth without ceremony.

“What better method exists by which to convey one’s appreciation of a gesture than to indulge it?”

3. An Ode to Matty Big-Time

The Good Place, 2K, Rated T Jason Mendoza/Original Male Characters, Pillboi

This one was actually a request made by my very dear @thesummoningdark, who wanted to see some bisexual Jason per that one fantastic Tumblr post about how everyone in TGP should be bi, and I’m really, really proud of the way it turned out. I love writing comedy and I very rarely get to lean into it as hard as I’d like, so delving into the whole wild craziness of Jacksonville, as explained in the show was really fun. I also love writing original characters, and this was a great excuse to indulge.

“We probably shouldn’t do any butt stuff,” Jason warns, with as much gravitas as he can muster. “I had two of Stupid Nick’s Disaster Buckets when I got here.”

“Yeah, your face is still kinda orange,” Mateo agrees fondly, bringing his other hand up to brush his thumb over Jason’s lower lip. It stirs a little frisson of heat in his belly that Jason is 68% sure isn’t just indigestion. “No chemical burns, though, so I think you came out on top.”

4. This and Who I Used to Be

The Tick (2017), 3K, Rated G Arthur Everest/Superian

Another new fandom I haven’t written in before, this was a fill for the Rare Male Slash Exchange that turned me on to a pairing I’d never even thought of before I wrote it and am now low-key obsessed with. It is also, to date, the ONLY Arthur/Superian fic on AO3 at all, which is a cool weird honor and fairly indicative of my life’s goal to eventually write my way into smaller and smaller fandoms until I come out the other side with original works. It was really fun to explore these characters, and to figure out some world-building for Superian’s backstory that fit within the tone and established canon of the extant Amazon!Tick universe. Also featuring an original character that nobody asked for but I’ve come to love unconditionally.

Arthur glances down to where Superian has one cheek pressed against his shoulder, humming something off-key and unintelligible with his eyes closed. Arthur sighs. “Let’s get you inside.”

He hauls Superian in until he can prop him against the wall while he shuts and locks the door behind him. When he looks back over, Superian is smiling at him, soft and lazy. He swings a finger in Arthur’s direction, a broad, sloppy motion, and announces, “I knew you’d say yes.”

“Technically I said fine,” Arthur rebuts. He gestures down the hallway toward the kitchen—which leads on to the bedroom, as Superian well knows—and sighs, “Come on. I don’t know what those handcuffs did to you, but you should probably lie down and have a glass of water or something.”

5. Rain in Its Season

Band of Brothers, 12K, Rated G Edward ‘Babe’ Heffron/John Julian

Oh boy. What to say about this one. It’s maybe not as polished as I might have preferred, but I feel that way about mostly everything I write and at the end of the day I do really love what I managed to do with this piece. Written for the Heavy Artillery Rare Pair Exchange, I managed to lean heavily into both my love for needlessly granular period research and original characters, which are abundant herein. Frankly, based on the very little we see of him in the show, Julian himself is practically an OC, but I digress. This was another of the longer pieces I’ve ever finished and I’m proud of it even if I’d’ve liked to write another 15K or so, time constraints notwithstanding.

“Tell me. Please. Why’re you here?”

Babe flinched, gaze dropping to the floor. His heart was a raw, swollen welt in his chest. He swallowed and licked his lips, slow and pained.

“Come on, Julian,” he rasped, low and quiet. “You know why.” He laughed, soft and hoarse, and shook his head, once. When he looked back up, Julian had taken a careful step into the center of the room. His eyes were very dark, his mouth very red, hope and fear warring in his every feature. Babe fisted his fingers in the cotton sheet underneath him, halfway to pleading as he insisted, “You gotta know.”

Julian sighed and came over to hover at the edge of the bed. Babe spread his legs to accommodate the intrusion.

“That was - ” Julian started. His voice failed midway through the protest, and he swallowed, took a breath, and regrouped at a lower volume. “You said that was just buddies, what we did over there. That it didn’t count. That you didn’t want it to.”

The TL;DR of this all being that while I didn’t write as much I wanted to this year in terms of volume, I feel like my quality has been improving consistently and hope it continues to do so into 2021 while I try to finish out some of my years-long WIPs and get into longer completed pieces.

I’m not sure who all to tag, so I’ll say @thesummoningdark, @blahblahblahclintnickiscanon, @thisbadge, @incognito-insomniac, and anyone else who’d like to join in and hasn’t been tagged yet! (If you’re the latter, feel free to @ me so I can see what you’ve written!)

Happy New Year everyone May the fanworks you create this year be prolific and soul-affirming!

[darkblueboxs]

Behind the Scenes: Iron and Ember

These are scenes from earlier versions of Iron and Ember that ended up getting completely rewritten in later drafts. I felt bad about leaving them to rot in my files forever though, so consider this an insight into the writing process/ an au of an au/ bonus content/ whatever

(Link here if you haven’t read I&E!)

This one comes after Neil and Kevin are attacked by Riko in the forest. It was later replaced by the boat confrontation to fix issues with characterisation/plot holes, but I’m still a sucker for the angstier elements, so:

 They wait until the dawn of the following day to return to what remains of the Fox’s camp. The battlements lie in smoulders, their tents shredded and their shelters kicked to pieces. There is no sign of the other foxes. No blood, no bodies, nothing.

In the middle of the main pavilion they find the body of a fox-antelope, its orange fur matted with red. Neil levers the scroll out from beneath its head and scans it over before handing it to Kevin.

The Foxes have been captured. Riko will release them on one condition; Kevin hands himself over. If not, they will all be killed.

The sound Kevin makes is not recognisable as he falls to his knees. Neil stays standing, but barely. For as long as he can remember, being captured by the Fire Nation was Neil’s greatest fear. It’s only now, faced with the loss of his Foxes, that he realises there is something he fears more than his own death.

He hauls Kevin back to his feet despite the shaking of his own limbs. Kevin’s expression echoes the white-hot fear shaking through Neil’s body. For months, both of them have lived in the relative safety of the Foxes’ encampment, both leaning on the sturdy foundations of Andrew’s protection. The steady presence both of them have grown accustomed to has been ripped out from beneath them, and the ground no longer feels sturdy beneath Neil’s feet. It takes a few moments to remember how to breathe again; when Neil opens his eyes, Kevin is bolting towards the camp’s perimeter.

Thankfully, Neil has always been the quickest of all of them. He tackles Kevin to the ground. The following fight is quick, vicious, and without a clear winner, both of them too exhausted after a night of fight and flight to come out on top.

“You’re not going back to them,” Neil snarls, hands fisting in his collar. “One of us has to survive! Don’t you understand? One of has to make it.”

Kevin grips Neil’s wrist, trying to wrench it back. “And it’s going to be you.”

“No,” says Neil, and it’s as though all the fight leaves him in one syllable. “No, it isn’t.”

Kevin doesn’t understand; Kevin can never understand, because the day he discovers who Neil really is will be the day that Neil’s life with the Foxes is over. Neil can barely live with the danger he puts them in as a runaway of the Fire Nation. Now Kevin and Riko know he isn’t just any runaway, but the Butcher’s son, and the danger has doubled. If any of them discovered that he was an avatar, they wouldn’t stand a chance. Riko would tear the world apart to get his hands on Neil, and destroy anyone who tried to stand in his way.

And they would try to stand in his way. Neil’s Foxes, stubborn, obstinate, endlessly caring. They never know when to back down from a fight, and he loves them for it. They wouldn’t give Neil up without a fight.

This leaves him with only one option.

He has to let them go.

“I have a plan.” He lets go of Kevin’s collar, taking his shoulder instead and squeezing. “I need you to trust me.”

Kevin has no reason to trust Neil now; he understands better than anyone the past which Neil has kept hidden. He knows their opposition, and he knows the fate that will meet them should they fail. All the same, he places his hand over Neil’s and nods. His skin is hot against Neil’s; the blood of firebenders calling to each other in perfect understanding. “I trust you.”

Neil leads the way, and Kevin follows.

*

They find Riko’s camp a mile north. The distance is insultingly short, like Riko has left the welcome mat out in the surety that Kevin will soon be kneeling on it. The guards lower their weapons and step aside as they approach, granting them access without comment. A circle of red tents have been erected around a central firepit. Riko stands before it, cast in silhouette by the bonfire at his back. Their encampment has not been erected with even the pretence of military strategy; the thin canvas tents are unprotected, and were it not for the presence of armoured guards it would look like a leisurely camping trip.

As Neil’s eyes adjust, he can make out the figures on the far side of the campfire, and his heart falls through his stomach. He had wondered how the small group of Ravens had disabled and kidnapped eight foxes with so little fuss and bloodshed. The answer comes in the form of Jean Moreau, who stands at the end of the kneeling row of Foxes in a frozen ready-stance. Despite coming from the Southern Water Tribe, he wears the Fire Nation’s red garb, which drains the colour from his sea-grey eyes. Kevin has told Neil of the Fire Nation’s vicious attacks on the Northern and Southern tribes, and how the Fire Nation dealt with the prisoners it took. Some, like Jean’s family, took any deal they could to get into the Moriyama’s good graces, up to and including selling Water Tribe secrets to gain a position at the royal family’s side. Those that could not please or provide for the Fire Lord…

Kevin hadn’t needed to finish that sentence.

Jean was the only waterbender to be admitted to the Raven Academy, but despite a lack of instructors and guidance in his native element, he appears to have mastered waterbending as well as anyone.

It isn’t his waterbending, however, which holds the Foxes in place as though cuffed by invisible ties. Jean Moreau is bloodbending.

Kevin makes the realisation at the same time Neil does. The noise he makes is strangled as though an airbender has sucked all the air from his lungs. By the time they reach Riko, they are close enough to hear the sick gurgle of suspended blood, hanging thick and terrible in the air. One wrong move, and Jean could halt their blood flow entirely, starving their brains of oxygen and leading them to a slow, painful death. Sweat is beading on Jean’s brow, and when he sees Kevin his eyes slide closed, jaw clenching, somewhere between disappointment and relief.

“Kevin.” Riko opens his arms, as though expecting him to walk into them. “And you bought Wesninski too. A peace offering?”

At the sound of Kevin’s name, several of the Foxes’ eyes fly open, and heads jerk, fighting against their invisible constraints to look their way. He hears a slurred motherfucker from Matt, a low groan from Nicky, a stream of curses from Aaron and Dan. Their voices are horse, worn out from screaming or because of the pressure on their bodies, it is impossible to know. Neil looks to his family. He can’t help himself. He has never been on the receiving end of bloodbending, but he has heard second-hand experiences. The pain, the fear, the total loss of control. Matt is the closest; his expression is twisted as though possessed, and every vein stands out against his skin, swollen and blue. Dan is next, twitching constantly as though trying to beat back Jean’s bending with every movement. Nicky and Allison’s eyes are wet, but Allison glares with the fury of a saber-tooth lion, her arms straining against the lock holding them at her sides. A gag has been tied around her mouth, but Neil knows her muffled tones well enough to catch the gist of her intent. Aaron’s gaze is distant, and beside him, Renee’s eyes are closed, her body loose and relaxed, although Neil isn’t sure how she can expect to meditate her way free of this.

Andrew. Andrew’s gaze is the hardest to meet. There is no twitch or strain to his suspension, but unlike Renee, his body remains tense, as though caught mid-seizure and held there. His jaw is clenched tight as a trickle of blood paints his temple deep red. His eyes burn with questions, accusations, betrayal. Neil was supposed to keep Kevin firebending, keep him rebelling from the nation that was once his home. Instead, Neil has walked him back into the arms of the man Andrew swore to protect him from. Neil tries to put a thousand words into his answering gaze, but in the end settles only on one. Trust.

“Where’s Seth?” Kevin says lowly. Neil realises with another panicked twist of his gut that one of the Foxes was missing. Seth wasn’t a firebender, but he was from the southernmost Fire Islands, and officially a Fire Nation citizen. He was just as much a runaway as Neil.

“The non-bender? He should have known better than to put up a fight,” Riko says, eyes dancing with unrestrained delight. “We have to make an example of draft-dodgers, Kevin. I’m sure you remember.”

Neil’s eyes move against his will to the bonfire at Riko’s back. “No.”

Kevin jerks forward with fire in his eyes and in his hands. Normally, Neil would be delighted to see that he had grown a spine at last, but now is not the time for heroics. Not for Kevin, anyway. He holds out an arm and pushes Kevin back, placing himself once again between Kevin and Riko.

“Don’t be a fool, Wesninski. I am willing to let your insubordination slide in exchange for my brother’s return, but you would do well not to press me. Many people back home would love to watch you die a slow and painful death, many of whom are good friends of mine. Don’t tempt me to bring another little present home for them.”

“Neil, Kevin, what are you doing?” Matt hollers. “Get the fuck out of here!”

A guard steps forward and strikes Matt with the butt of his spear, and Matt’s head lolls.  

Neil forces back the acidic taste of fear and bile at the back of his throat, throws water on the burning hatred stoked by Seth’s death. They were never friends, but they were a team. “I have a better deal for you.”

“Oh, do tell.”

“You let Kevin go. You let the foxes go. In return, I will give you something far more precious.”

Riko cackles. “Do you know how much time and effort we have exerted in bringing our lost Raven home? What could you possibly have to offer us?”

“I can give you the avatar.”

Riko goes very, very still. Neil swears he can hear a collective intake of breath from the surrounding soldiers.

“What?” Kevin’s voice comes out strained. “Neil, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Shut up,” Neil answers through gritted teeth. He turns back to Riko. “Do we have a deal?”

Kevin and Riko have been raised from birth to be the Fire Nation’s very best. The search for the Avatar has lasted years, crossed nations, caused countless bloodshed. Finding the Avatar is perhaps the only accomplishment that could render Riko worthy in the eyes of the Fire Lord, and this is what Neil is counting on. Everything depends on Riko’s need for his family’s acknowledgement outweighing his need for Kevin.

Riko’s eyes flick from Neil, to Kevin, to Neil. He steps forwards, close enough that Neil can smell the bonfire on his clothes. “We have a deal.” The hunger in Riko’s eyes is bottomless. “Where is the Avatar?”

“I will tell you when the Foxes are free and far from here,” Neil replies levelly despite the thudding in his chest. “Not a moment before.”

Riko flicks his fingers, and Jean drops his arms, falling into a heap as the Foxes are released.

“Don’t,” Neil says sharply before any of them can start a fight. “Go. Now.”

“Neil.” Dan fits a hundred questions into the single syllable, but it’s all Neil can do to shake his head.

“I said go.”

She nods. “We’ll meet you at the rendezvous point.” She casts Riko a look so venomous Neil is surprised it doesn’t kill him outright. “When he said the Foxes, he meant all of them.”

“All who remain,” Riko corrects her sweetly. Renee grabs Allison around the waist before she can react.

Neil can’t meet Dan’s eyes. He doesn’t know what will happen to him when Riko discovers the truth. He can only hope that a kinder version of his story makes it back to the Foxes, one that explains that he wanted to return to them. One that cuts around the pain, that of Neil’s past and that which surely awaits him.

The Foxes file out of the camp, passing between the silent sentries, quietly promising that if Riko didn’t hold up his end of the bargain there would be hell to pay. Andrew steps smartly over Jean’s form, which still shakes with exhaustion, and stops dead in front of Neil.

“Go on, mutt,” says Riko. “Take your master and go.”

Neil tries to force his features into some approximation of a smile. “Thank you.” He can’t bring himself to elaborate with Riko standing between them; for the bending, the kisses, the trust. “You remembered the firebending moves.”

Andrew’s gaze doesn’t move from Neil’s. Kevin glances at Riko’s expression and takes Andrew by the arm, pulling him away and after the others. If Kevin has any suspicions, Neil can’t read them in his expression, only panic, and an underlying vein of betrayal. Riko wasn’t the only one who spent a lifetime searching for the Avatar.

Neil counts to ten in his head in every language he can think of, counting the distance the Foxes will have placed between themselves and Riko. He’s startled from his thoughts by the press of a blade against his jugular.

“Tell me what you know.” Riko’s smile has tipped over the knife-edge from mirth to mania. “Where is the Avatar?” Neil looks at the mounting hysteria of the man before him and feels an ice-cold calm settle over him.

“Right in front of you.”

Riko’s expression freezes, as if unable to decide between laughter and fury. Before he can accuse Neil of lying and gut him like a fish, Neil pops open the waterskin at his hip and pulls a twisting trail of water from within.

His second-ever attempt at waterbending doesn’t last long; he holds the form long enough for comprehension to dawn before letting the shape collapse into the earth.

“Earth kingdom,” Riko says, barely audible. “You were supposed to be from the Earth Kingdom.”

“My mother was.” Neil flicks the lid of his skein closed. “Worked out pretty well for me, really. Just think, I was right under your nose for all that time. How many years have you wasted searching the earth kingdom? Fair warning, it doesn’t matter. You could find a thousand Avatars, it still won’t make Daddy love you.”

Neil feels the crackle of charge build in the air as Riko’s smile twists and falls in on itself.

“Jean,” Riko says without turning. “Hold him down.”

Jean drags himself to his feet, and suddenly Neil’s body seizes, his blood turning to thick slush in his veins. A scream catches in his throat and stays there and his lungs burn.

The last thing Neil remembers is Riko drawing back, lightning cracking and flashing around him, and then everything goes black.

  This one came after Neil’s reunion with the Foxes. It ended up being replaced with the scenes in the air temple (and a more peaceful fall of the Fire Nation) but I still like the andreil dialogue soooo:

  “Show me again.”

Andrew sighs. “Junkie.”

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Neil smirks even as Andrew clamps a hand over his mouth.

“That mouth,” Andrew growls, infusing enough emotion into the two words that he doesn’t need to complete the sentence. They stay that way a moment, waiting each other out. Andrew’s palm is warm against Neil’s lips, and he can feel the pulse roaring beneath.

He’s better at this now, sensing out the shift and glide of the world around him, layers upon layers of intermingling elements pulsing with a nameless energy, calling to him. He can pick Andrew out anywhere in a crowd, in the pitch black space between asleep and awake, in hurricane or thunderstorm or earthquake. He knows the weight of Andrew’s body and the pace of his footsteps, he knows the way he holds himself like he can take any hit the world throws at him. He knows the way the air fits in his lungs and the way his blood pumps in his veins and the way fire burns in his heart the same way it does in Neil’s, no matter how well-hidden. He feels Andrew in constant orbit like they’re celestial bodies caught in each other’s pull.

He isn’t sure if this sense is a side effect of being the Avatar or a side effect of being with Andrew.

He feels the huff of Andrew’s breath ripple the air around him as he gives in to Neil’s request. He turns to the nearest statue – another horrendous effigy of the deceased Fire Lord, singed but not destroyed in their takeover of the capital – and plants his feet on the ground, pulling the metal figurine apart.

The metal tumbles to the ground in twisted pieces, lost instantly to the scattered debris that litters the Royal Plaza. Reconstruction is well underway already, invaders and invaded joining together to rebuild a better world.

“Your turn,” Andrew says.

Neil approaches the next statue – Ichirou, whose profile still sends a jolt of panic down Neil’s spine. The man himself is safely confined in Boiling Rock, where he will remain until negotiations concerning the Fire Nation’s future governance and territory are complete. Neil’s earthbending remains next to non-existent, but he squares his stance all the time, imitating Andrew’s movements. He seeks out the call of the earth within the metal and comes up blank.

“Shit,” Neil says. It was only in the aftermath of storming Capital City that Kevin grudgingly admitted that Neil had mastered firebending sufficiently to move onto other elements, but Neil already feels miles behind. Kevin was insistent that Neil begin airbending, as was the traditional order of the Avatar cycle; Neil was equally insistent that he avoid the element for as long as possible.

“You’re trying to run before you can walk.” Andrew flicks a pebble at him, which bounces off his forehead. “Learn to earthbend. Worry about metal later.”

“I’ve done it before,” Neil says snippily. Andrew’s eyebrows twitch upwards. Through the course of their travels, they have yet to encounter anyone else with Andrew’s metalbending abilities. Neil says Andrew is a pioneer; he has discovered an entirely new form of earthbending, one which no one else in the world is capable of. Andrew is highly doubtful. Neil calls him the greatest earthbender who ever lived; Andrew tells him to shut up. Andrew still remains strangely detached from the element he has mastered so thoroughly, but Neil can see the change in his eyes, feel it in his pulse. It comes in times like this, where Neil watches him with hungry eyes as Andrew leads him, step by step, into the rocky core of his abilities.

Andrew steps between Neil and the statue with sudden focus. “You metalbended.”

“So you care about metalbending now, do you?”

“No,” Andrew says. He takes Neil’s chin between his finger and thumb. “Tell me.”

“Just the once.” Then, because he can say things like this to Andrew, and Andrew will accept it without horror or disgust or fear, “On my father. It killed him.”

“Good.” Andrew steps out of Neil’s path, opening his view to the statue once more. “Do it again.”

 I hope you found these snippets from my recycle folder interesting - I have a lot of fragments like these but these were the ones I wanted to save most. Thanks for reading!

[let-it-show]

Open Wounds

This...this started as something to curb my annoyance with something else, and somehow evolved into a look at Anna’s trauma. Elsa wanted her to stop worrying about her so much and voiced it and from there, it really spiraled. I’ve always been curious about how younger Anna dealt with things before the coronation and before their parents died. Elsa’s just as curious and honestly what she gets here is just the tip of the, er, iceberg. I plan to write more about this soon. Anyway this fic is set in the same storyline as my fic “All The Love I Found In You”, however you definitely do not have to of read that one to understand this, there’s just a couple nods to it.

"You have powers. You should have used them for this. No, instead you said 'I'm a spirit!' before running off and tripping down a bunch of rocks."

Elsa cringed as Anna slammed the door shut in a huff. "I was just trying to help! It didn't require me to use my powers, so I didn't. I didn't think I was going to trip over a thing on the ground-"

"Your own two feet you mean?"

"-and not only fall down but keep rolling! No one plans for that!" Elsa rarely ever fell down, so how was she supposed to anticipate that? It was a complete accident.

"Yea well I..." Anna snorted and held up her hand but she couldn't actually say anything. How could she? It was a mistake!

"Also at no point did I say 'I'm a spirit!' That happened once - ONCE and I was joking!" Elsa went to fold her arms and winced. Her left arm hurt where she had initially fallen before rolling. Her whole body kind of ached from that, most of all her head.

"You were thinking it," Anna accused and turned around when they reached the bed, studying Elsa. Her eyes held worry in them as she looked her up and down. "I think you'll have to lose the dress. Er-not yet, I have to actually open the door again."

Elsa sighed. "What are you on about?" Walking into the room was okay but she was really feeling the aches. And she was sure she cut up her legs. One of the drawbacks of not wearing pants under her dress was...getting hurt if she fell down. Seriously, that was it.

"I'm going to clean you up, you have a lot of dirt on you," Anna told her.

"Do I?" Elsa finally took a minute to stretch out her arms and look herself over. She hadn't even had time to after crashing to the ground and going over rocks nearly into the water. Anna had been on her in seconds to haul her up and ask in a very frightened way if she was okay. Before Elsa could even answer that she was a little dizzy, Anna was already dragging her back to the castle. It was a good thing they were close to it. A guard had tried to help too but Anna had nearly bitten his head off for daring to touch Elsa.

Poor guy.

Anna nodded as she scampered back to the door. "Yes. I'll be right back just-just stay here," she said, holding her hands up and out as if to emphasize Elsa should stay put. Before Elsa could say she wasn't a dog, Anna was out the door again.

It was just like her to worry, Elsa thought as she looked back at her arms. They were kind of dirty, little bits of dirt and grass on them. Not a good day to go sleeveless, she supposed. When she looked down the light purple fabric of her dress was covered in dirt. The little designs of diamonds and snowflakes didn't show well, the white of them drowned out. If she hadn't braided her hair it would be a disaster.

The dress would have been an easy fix if it were one she created, but it was a gift from one of Olaf's little friends that had lived at the orphanage. She and Anna had helped the little girl find placement two young men who badly wanted a family and as a thank you they insisted on making her the dress.

To say it was cherished was an understatement and Elsa felt frustrated with herself for getting it soiled. It could be laundered, though.

She wasn't going to sit on their clean comforter with, well, a filthy butt, so she paced. Her ankle complained; she hadn't twisted it but she had knocked the side against something. There were some scrapes near her elbows too.

The more she looked at herself the more she noticed. Her body was going to be complaining even more the next morning, and Anna would insist on taking care of her. The thought of that made her feel suddenly very guilty and she stopped in front of the window to stare at the cloudy afternoon sky. Rain was surely on the way.

Anna really did a lot for her. She cared for Elsa constantly and despite no doors or fjord between them, Anna still pushed aside a lot of her own happiness at times to be sure that Elsa was okay. It wasn't that she hovered and suffocated her, if that was even possible. Elsa never grew tired of her presence when she was there and sometimes the days kept them apart more than they wanted for one duty or another.

Guilt started to creep over her, and Elsa didn't argue with it. After everything she had put Anna through the girl did so much. Time and time again her mind reminded her of how hard Anna had tried to watch over her in the forest. Her mind reminded her of Anna's gentle touch and endless patience as she took Elsa's hands to tell her she was a gift and that she believed in her.

Closed doors, a frozen heart, secrets, Anna had carried it all on her shoulders only for Elsa to hurl it all away and break her sister's heart on that beach. Elsa shoved her into Kristoff's proposal as Anna scrambled to put herself back together in any way she could, wedging pieces of her puzzle into spaces they didn't fit. She broke her and gave her a piece back here and there, but never enough to make a strong frame, nevermind get near completion.

When she returned for good she still turned the girl's world upside down, her fiance turned best friend leaving for the north and the future again an anxious mystery.

It was as she thought about that pattern and silently berated herself that Anna returned with a pitcher sitting in a bowl holding a bar of soap, and with a cloth over her arm. The pitcher and basin were light green with sunflowers painted on, something she had given Anna during Yule. She could never give her enough to make up for her failings.

"Alright, lose the dress," Anna commanded her and she looked less irritated, more amused.

"Sure," Elsa said with a little smile. Anna's concern was definitely still there, but Elsa still knew her to be mischievous, especially when clothing came off. Her beloved was not above making the dumbest excuses to touch Elsa - one time she insisted Elsa's hands were 'colder than usual' and it was a good idea to warm them between her thighs. She supposed the kissing and eventual moaning that followed were also part of the hand-warming.

The dress was removed slowly as she left the window, easily sliding over her shoulders. Elsa preferred not to wear an undershirt normally but had made for herself a small silver one to go between her skin and the dress, plus cups to support her full chest. She was down to that and a delicate pair of dark blue underwear that she again didn't make, but liked. There was no design on them, they were just plain and looked nice.

Anna set the bowl and pitcher on their little bedside table. "The shirt, too," she said, twirling the cloth around while she stood in her little green and black sleeveless dress. Her hair had been in a bun when she left the room, but was pulled out and hung loose upon her return.

Elsa knew what she was up to. She found it adorable, but her feelings of guilt were still persisting and she was unable to really enjoy the moment the way she wanted. "Anna...I don't think my stomach or chest were dirtied," she told her matter of factly as she carefully set her dress aside.

"Gotta make sure you didn't hurt your uh, ribs," Anna insisted with a little blush.

"My arms and legs need attention more," Elsa answered softly, keeping the shirt on. Her head still throbbed but she didn't mention it. She would love to watch Anna's face light up, but once Anna's hands and lips touched her, the girl would already be in a haze and Elsa would feel terrible leading her on in that moment. "I am sure I will have bruises on them."

The words caused Anna to drag her gaze from Elsa's chest and a little frown started. "You're right. Sorry I was harsh before. It's not like you were trying to crash down like that."

"It's okay Anna. I know you worry a lot-what are you doing?" An eyebrow raised as Anna walked toward a corner of the room, toward one of two simple but comfortable wooden chairs they had. There was an armchair in the room as well they sometimes cuddled in but Anna likes chairs that could be moved around. After all, sometimes she didn't want to sit in the corner by the window, she wanted to sit by the fire but not at the angle of the armchair, and so on and so on.

With the chair firmly in her two hands she carried it toward Elsa and the table. "For you to sit on. If I ask you to sit on the bed I..."

Elsa just shook her head and laughed a little. Oh, she knew exactly why Anna didn't even finish speaking. On the bed Anna would crawl over her to wash her down and then get distracted examining every part of her body closely. Anna wasn't really uncontrollably horny but she did take any chance she could to enjoy Elsa's body. She sat herself down in the chair once placed and watched Anna.

"I wish...you wouldn't worry about me so much, you know," she managed as Anna poured some of the hot water into the bowl and dunked the cloth in with the soap. "I don't like you so worked up over me falling down."

"Then don't fall down. Give me your arm," Anna said, standing in front of her.

Elsa sighed and held her arm out. Anna took her hand and turned it over, palm up. She started the cloth on her open hand and began to slowly drag it up, lightly wiping the dirt and other bits of ground from Elsa's arm. "Sometimes I'm going to get hurt, Anna. Everyone gets hurt sometimes, its inevitable. I understand where it comes from, your worry, but I don't want to see it eating at you." Just as she said that Anna cleaned one of the longer scratches on her arm and she hissed at the slight sting.

"I don't want to see things like this," Anna said, pointing at the scratch. Her eyes were focused on Elsa's arm.

"It's superficial. By tomorrow morning it'll be a line and nothing more, it won't hurt."

"It's all superficial at first, but it still hurts," Anna muttered.

Elsa tilted her head. "What was that?"

Anna was almost to her shoulder with the cloth and she paused to rinse and ring it in the basin. Elsa's gaze was focused on Anna's face, which still only showed focus and didn't betray whatever she might be feeling. After another little pour of clean water, Anna started back down her arm. "It...a lot has happened and by the next day or next morning, we've been fine, but it still hurts. You came back from Ahtohallan, but there was still so much pain."

The words were a bit jumbled but not hard to understand. And Elsa knew how Anna felt. They'd discussed it in detail before. It also meant she knew the trauma wasn't going to leave her loving sister anytime soon as she continued to deal with it. But it was the same theory as her own fear, right?

She urged Anna not to worry over the minor incidents, the same way Anna kept on leading her out of her door after the Great Thaw. Anna never gave up on ridding Elsa of the fear that had devoured her entire being and likewise Elsa wouldn't stop with Anna's worry.

She also knew that at times, it still came back to haunt one's mind. Elsa still had dreams where Anna remained a frozen statue at her hand and when she woke she had to feel her pulse, listen to her heart, kiss her lips to taste her breath and stroke her warm skin. The panic could hold her for long stretches of time too, if she was too tired or stressed.

The thing was, she didn't feel it on a day to day basis. Now she just felt her guilt toward Anna's stability but she wasn't going to put that on her beautiful girl as well.

"I get it," she said after Anna finished that arm and held out her hand for the other one.

"I don't know if you do."

"Anna?"

For once, Anna wouldn't meet her eyes. "It's not-it's not just what happened in the forest, it's not just you staying in Ahtohallan. It's what mother and father did to you, and to us as well."

Their parents? Confusion flooded Elsa. She knew the way her parents had separated them and treated the whole...incident...was not right. They did more harm than good ripping the two from each other and keeping the truth from Anna. They caused more pain than they had to know. It wasn't a new thing.

However in Elsa's mind they did more damage to Anna out of the two of them. Her words didn't make sense. "Did to me? What are you talking about?"

Slowly Anna cleaned her other arm. It was more banged up and didn't hurt too much right then but she knew it would in the morning. "They turned you into someone who hid her hurt. Who had to conceal everything. I won't always know if you're really okay or not, because sometimes you might not realize how you are. I've seen it in you before, in your face here and there where you were definitely in some kind of pain but you told yourself not to feel for so long that...that..."

"Anna, I'm not like that anymore." It had been a mountain of a task, but she climbed it anyway. "I can admit to myself when my heart aches and old wounds come open, and I can tell when all I've done is bruise myself up as well. I can feel my pain and figure out what it is." At least, for the most part she could.

"How do you know?" Anna was so careful as she cleaned her, every touch conducted with affection behind it.

Elsa's eyes narrowed. She didn't like the behavior it was seeing, like dark clouds floating in front of the sun. "I just-I just know. I'm doing better than I ever have been, largely thanks to you," she pointed out.

Surprisingly, Anna didn't smile at that. The younger girl looked ready to cry. "Am I really helping so much? Or are you sometimes holding it all together just for me?"

"Anna!" As Anna brought the warm cloth back down to her wrist, Elsa took her free hand and squeezed it. "Now where did that come from? Please, if I'm upset or something, I'll tell you. As tempting as it is to hold back so you won't worry, I know it's wrong. You deserve honesty!" She tugged on her hand.

Anna put the cloth on the table and took Elsa's other hand, finally meeting her gaze. "I get it, I do. It's..." She worried her lip. "I'm...part of it too is I often find myself angry, very angry at mother and father. They left you worried about becoming a monster and didn't do right by either of us, I guess, but you couldn't be close with them and-"

"Anna, sssh." Elsa pulled her hands closer, drawing one of Anna's soft palms to cradle against her face. She leaned into Anna's hand and kissed it before looking back to her. "I'm not sure I caught everything you said there...it got a little jumbled. I can't say I'm surprised you are angry at mother and father. I wish...I wish you could let that anger go, along with your constant worry about me. You deserve a light heart and all the happiness in the world."

At those words Anna smiled and leaned over Elsa's lap to brush their noses. "I have all the happiness in the world right in front of me. I love you so much Elsa, I-I want to give you everything."

"I feel the same way about you, you know," Elsa whispered to her.

"I know." Anna let her eyes fall shut as she drew in a long breath. "Sometimes I'm happy it's just you and I...um, that's not to say I'm happy mother and father...it's just, I remember the time before their voyage, I felt very hopeless in those last couple of years," she admitted. "You were in your room and they-they didn't really spend time with me or anything."

"Anna..." If there was one thing Anna never really talked about, it was the later years of their separation. In fact Elsa didn't think she'd ever heard or asked how she felt then. Anna would talk about her devastation when they were first separated and how she had wished to play with her sister. She'd talked about that frustration, but she hadn't addressed her early teens.

Anna's hands dropped a bit and Elsa's came down with them, still holding, still squeezing. "You kept me going, even through the silence, the knowledge you were there on the other side of the door. I didn't understand what was happening of course and I was sad mother and father didn't give me much attention. I thought though they were doing something for you, to help you and someday we would-we would be a family."

As she spoke, Elsa was quiet, paying very close attention. She had no idea when Anna might open up again about her feelings and their parents. It was indeed rare. Her heart was beating fast as she was allowed insight to her sister's pain. Anna had paused and Elsa worried she lost steam.

However Anna took a breath and finally reopened her eyes, looking down at their hands. "I was wrong. They hurt you. They broke you and taught you not to be yourself and not to speak up. You ask me why I worry? Because I know sometimes you still don't want to admit your deepest thoughts. I know because I still feel lonely sometimes, like I was just there as an extra child that mother was handed instead of another magic daughter, or a son." The words weren't said with any kind of venom.

Yet, they still did inflict pain. Elsa never wanted Anna to compare her existence to her own. "Oh, Anna-"

"I'm not saying this for you to feel guily! I-I don't want you to feel sad. It's not like I knew about your powers until the coronation either, but I can't always rid myself of that thought. I feel they cared for us equally until the accident I still don't fully remember. I don't understand why to keep me safe, they separated us entirely. I felt punished. I know you punished yourself." Her head drooped and her voice had grown thick, tears were surely on the way.

Elsa released Anna's hands and instead reached her arms out. What she was saying was certainly crushing even if it was in the past, and Anna knew she was incredibly loved. It was new information for Elsa to process and in that moment all she wanted to do was hold and cherish Anna. She wanted to give her what she was without for so long and spend all her time making up for it.

She was overwhelmed by her own love for the girl.

Anna move closer and as soon as Elsa could even start getting her arms around her, she pulled her toward her lap. She didn't need to put much effort into it. Anna easily settled on her legs and wrapped her arms around Elsa's shoulders as she sniffled, her crying started. "I'm sorry Elsa, I'm sorry to put this on you."

"No. Nono, sssh. I'm sorry, Anna. I - ah." She was going to point out how she started it all by hitting her with her ice, but that would only make Anna feel worse or again force her own feelings aside to comfort Elsa. "...I wish I could have fathomed how alone you were, wish I could have done something for you," she told her and that was true too. She squeezed her.

Anna's shoulders shook as she cried."You've done so much for me Elsa. No one has done that much just- just for me. Even when mother and father left us...they did so to find answers about you as if they didn't have another daughter here. And why did they even need answers? Mother came from a magic forest, how big a mystery-anyway. I told you when we found out that you aren't responsible for their choices, and that includes the relationship they had with me." Her body twitched with her sobs.

Elsa had to swallow and count backwards in her head to keep from crying right along with her. She had to be the strong one. Her role at that moment was to be there for Anna and give her the direct attention she deserved. She needed Anna to know she was heard. "I don't understand why they felt they had to find answers either," she told her honestly. Less and less made sense each day, which was depressing when she thought about the initial joy of seeing her mother's image in Ahtohallan.

"If they needed answers so badly, why did they wait so long!?" Anna continued and she nearly yelled those words. Elsa startled at the raw frustration ripping forth from her sweet sister. "Why? They waited until you were eighteen and then they decided they needed to do something for us. Why did they make us wait so long? Why did they keep you behind that door, and why did they just-just tolerate my existence?"

"They didn't to-"

"What even was I to mother and father?" Anna's whole body rocked with new sobs; Elsa imagined them burning her throat and knew how red, how pained Anna's eyes would be. "I was just there, and I couldn't even see you. They might say they wanted you to control your powers and wanted me to be safe but all I knew was feeling lonely! All I knew was I did something bad to you or in general and maybe I was being punished! You shut me out for some reason and they didn't stop you! You got the first lessons on this or that and I heard you would be queen and I...I..." Her words finally failed her and all Elsa could hear, all she could feel was wailing.

Wait. That wasn't all she felt.

There was a certain chill in the air, a very fine dusting of snow, and it wasn't from her. Ever since they had found their souls in each others' bodies sometimes there were traces of evidence that showed it wasn't all a wild dream.

Had it been Elsa wailing it would have been a snowstorm...

She couldn't think about that. She rubbed Anna's back and very gently swayed with her, turning her face into her beautiful red hair to kiss the side of her head. One of her thighs began to ache faintly as Anna was settled on part of her that had banged into the ground but she pushed it aside. The throb of a bruise was nothing when Anna's heart and mind were consumed with such anguish.

"I was just there! I needed so much, and on top of that, I had so, so much to give!" Another soul-wrenching sob tore through her. All Elsa could do was keep holding her. Her head hurt from her fall and spun with the words spilling from Anna. "I had so much love to give, Elsa, and the only thing I could give it to was the door."

Elsa bit her lip briefly. "I got it, you know. I was always right there with you." As soon as she spoke she regretted it a little. That didn't help Anna's current state, did it?

Perhaps she was wrong though as Anna moved against her  and leaned back, her arms still around Elsa. Her face was tear stained, eyes puffy and red, her nose running. She almost looked like she'd been thrown into mourning. She slowly traced one finger from Elsa's back, up her neck and around to her jaw as she took careful, stuttering breaths. "I know now. I imagined you were then too because it hurt to think otherwise. But I know. And I'm so grateful to you Elsa, more than I can say..."

"...Why?" Elsa asked in confusion.

"Because I had that love to give and could only dream it was both received and accepted. Now I know it was without a shadow of a doubt," she said and her voice had dropped down low, a bit hoarse. "I wanted someone to cherish and adore and maybe somehow I knew that would always be you. Back then, I couldn't really give it to mother and father. They weren't very receptive. You? I didn't know, and not having assurance it was rejected helped me keep giving it." She tipped Elsa's face with her finger under her chin and gently pressed their lips together as she rested her fingers on Elsa's cheek. When she pulled back she looked a little more under control.

"Elsa...I know I worry too much, I follow you around and I keep watch. I do genuinely worry like anyone would for their loved one - but the thing is, I also do it simply because now I can. Now I have friends I care about and take care of, now I have the love of my life to do it for. Maybe I overdo it, but our lives haven't been allowed to settle down for any long period of time before we're disrupted again. When our world feels a little more stable around us, I can shed some of these ill feelings. Until then I just ask that-I hope-"

With a kiss to match Anna's initiated by Elsa that time, the words were cut off. "Of course I'll be here through it. You aren't going to work through this without me, you...you never abandoned me." Elsa sighed and began to stroke Anna's hair while the other girl still sniffed and tried to stop the last few tears. "Anna...thank you for opening up."

Anna blinked. "You're um...welcome?"

Elsa couldn't resist a little smile. "I have never really asked how you felt during those later years before mother and father passed. And you never exactly volunteered. I got so focused on my own thing that I never properly addressed any of it, and now, now I have an idea. Every little thing I learn about you is important and I hope you'll speak more about it."

"Oh..." Anna looked down. "It's...really hard. It really hurt."

Her pale fingers continued to stroke Anna's hair and Elsa kissed the top of her head. "I know," she whispered. "I know, my dear one."

Anna took an uneven breath as she still tried to gather herself. She was quiet for a second before leaning forward again to put her head on Elsa's shoulder. "I love you, Elsa," she said quietly.

"I love you too," Elsa said as she again hugged her, keeping her warm body close.

They stayed like that for a while, Anna trying to come back down from her alarming emotional burst and Elsa just trying to calm her. The light snow had stopped but there was still cold air. If Anna noticed, she hadn't said anything, yet at the same time Elsa's soul had curled into her other halfs to steady and assure her. Anna surrounded her and gradually she became less intense, less anxious. When Elsa felt that Anna was close to being balanced again, she began to speak.

"Anna, would you like to wash your face?" she asked softly.

"Oh." Anna nodded against her and then pulled back. "Yes...."

"Actually, I'll do it for you. Do you feel tired?" Elsa asked, reaching one hand to the side for the bowl and pulling it a little closer. The water was still a little warm and she could feel it splashing to the side of the bowl just a bit. She picked up the cloth and squeezed other water out.

"Exhausted, but it's the middle of the day," Anna admitted. "My head really hurts."

"Don't you worry about the time of day. You've exhausted yourself, and I...I went for a bit of a roll," she joked and was rewarded with the tiniest little laugh from Anna. She set the cloth on the edge of the bowl and poured some fresh water on it alittle awkwardly, one arm still around Anna. "We can have a little nap, and still keep our important meetings this evening," she added.

"Can we...?" Anna immediately followed those two words up with a yawn, turning her head away for the duration. In was deep and obviously full of fatigue. She turned back to Elsa with a look of surrender. "Okay. I guess maybe we better rest, huh."

"Mmmhmm." Elsa brought the cloth to Anna's eyes, gently wiping at the corners. She finished one side and placed a kiss on the corner of that eye before doing the other one. "If anyone else doesn't like it...tough."

"I think news that you took a tumble has probably already made its way around the staff. I'm sure they think you're recovering with help from me, or something," Anna suggested with an amused look on her tired red face.

Elsa had to laugh at that. "I'm sure they do. That's just fine by me," she replied as she carefully pulled the cloth down Anna's cute cheeks.

With a clean face and a cuddly nap,she was sure the light would be back in Anna's eyes.

[thinkaboutmeff7au]

birth of a burnout

back to what i do better--writing! have some TAM genesis origin story

***

1980.

The summer air was thick with pollen. At the edge of the apple orchard in the Rhapsodos estate, two field workers took a break by the fence underneath a shady, shedding willow.

"I gotta say," said the tallest, wiping his brow with an already soaked bandana, "this is the best gig I've had in a long time."

"Best?" said the stoutest. "This is hard as shit, dude."

"Sure's anything," the tallest replied. "But the pay here is better than anything else I've done. And so long's we get the work done, we can dick around as much as we want."

He reached in his back pocket for a blunt and a lighter. "Want some?"

The stoutest looked around, then drew closer. "Sure. Hit me."

The tall man took a drag first, then passed it as smoke slowly curled out of his nostrils. As the stout man smoked his, the tall man looked past him through the fields. "Fall will be the worst, but imagine the paycheck," he remarked. "Can't fuckin' wait."

The stout man nodded and passed the blunt back. "I still feel like we shouldn't be doing this on the property."

"Nah, we'll be fine. No one comes out here."

The buzz of cicadas swarmed the air, and the two basked in the heat in silence. When the sound faded, the tall man looked around. And then he looked down to see a boy standing there.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, coughing smoke.

The boy didn't react. He was lanky, but soft in his face, lightly freckled with some acne on his cheeks. His hair was just grown out of a haircut and shone copper in the afternoon sun. He seemed bored. A pack of cigarettes stuck out of his shorts pocket.

"Hey...hey, kid," the tallest man said, his voice already a little lazy. "You shouldn't be hanging around out here."

The boy looked around. "Why?" he asked.

The stout man jabbed his colleague and hissed through his teeth. "You idiot, that's the Rhapsodos' kid! It's his fucking farm!"

The tallest blinked, wide eyed, while the boy smirked. He then sniffed the air, and his eyes darted around--from the smoke, down to the mens' hands. "What is that?" he asked. "That's not--" His voice cracked, and he paused to clear it. "That's not cigarette smoke."

"Sure it isn't," the stout man said quickly. "Listen, we've gotta get back to work--"

"Can I have some?" he asked.

"Listen, kid...Genesis, right?" the tallest man said. "You're too...too young to do this kind of shi--stuff. How old are you, like...twelve? Thirteen?"

Genesis didn't answer. He continued to stare at them. Then, he pulled out a cigarette from his pack, revealing that it was already half empty. From his other pocket, he drew a silver flip-top lighter, engraved with an apple. He lit it, and took a quick puff without coughing.

"Uh," said the stout man.

"Can I have some?" Genesis asked again. "I won't tell anyone."

The two men looked at each other, each reluctant to give in. In their hesitation, Genesis rolled his eyes and groaned, pulling his wallet out. "Fuck's sake," he mumbled, cigarette still in his mouth. He pulled out a crisp, 100 dollar bill and thrust it out at them. "Can I. Have some."

This was too much to pass up. The tall man sighed. "And you're not gonna rat us out?"

"I won't," he replied.

The tall man took the cash, and handed him a blunt from his back pocket. "This is all I've got, okay?" he said. "And don't just suck it down like a butt. Make it count."

"Sure," Genesis said. He examined it, then put it in with his remaining cigarettes. "Thanks."

And he left.

"Fuck," the tall man muttered. "I feel like I need to go to confession after this."

"It's your funeral," the stout man sighed. "C'mon, let's go back to it before some other brat comes around."

***

The next week, Genesis came back around to the same spot around the same time. "You're here again?" the tall man said, his face falling. "Don't tell me..."

"That stuff was unreal," Genesis said. "Do you have any more?"

"Look, kid, I ain't gonna be your dealer. Go find someone else." He crossed his arms. "Last thing I want is to get fired because I'm selling weed to the estate's kid."

"I'll pay you," Genesis said. "Extra, even. I don't care."

There was something about the way he was asking that made the tall man uneasy. It wasn't suspicion that he was going to be found out. It was the thought that this boy--this teenager--had found something he really liked for the first time. And wanted more.

"Do you have a pen?" the tall man said, after deliberating. "I have a guy. I'll give you his number."

***

The next time the workers saw him, it was mid-September. They spotted Genesis under one of the far apple trees, sitting beside his backpack and what looked like some kind of guitar case. Smoke rose above the leaves and hung there in the lingering late-summer heat.

***

Two years passed.

The school bus roared past down on the road below, and one student got out. He walked up the hill, his backpack on one shoulder, a bass guitar case on the other. As soon as he crossed the gate into the apple orchard, he took out his lighter, fumbled a blunt into his mouth, and lit it, all while still walking.

As smoke filtered through his mouth, he sighed deeply. "Ah," he said to himself. "Now that's--oof!"

Not watching where he was walking, Genesis ran straight into the tall man, nearly toppling him and his barrel of apples.

"Jesus, watch where you're walking!" he exclaimed. The stout man was not far behind. "Oh, it's you..."

"Huh?" Genesis said, and shook his head. "Oh yeah. What's up?"

The stout man sniffed and wrinkled his nose. "Kept up with it, huh?"

Genesis smirked, lazy and content. "Uh-huh. It's good shit."

The tall man watched him weave in place and frowned, but before he could say anything, Genesis pointed at him. "You're gonna tell me I'm wasting my life, huh? Gonna try and be my dad, old man?"

He scoffed. "I can tell you were stoned when you stepped off the bus down there. You--"

"You guys..." Genesis laughed a little bit, then straightened up. His eyes were red around the rim, but his stare was like lead. "You don't know anything, do you?"

He slid his bass on one shoulder, backpack on the other. "It doesn't really matter what I do, y'know?" he continued. "I'm adopted. My first cousin's getting the company. They decided last week in some shitty board meeting. They know I'm a deadbeat, but they won't disinherit me 'cause it's bad press." He started to smile, but there was no humor in it. "So they're gonna wait 'til I graduate and see what to do with me. Maybe they'll send me to some business school in Midgar to try and straighten me out. Maybe I'll be out here like you, breaking my back and picking apples, doing some work for a fuckin' change. Or maybe they’ll ship me off to Wutai so I can get shot. Who knows!"

The men had nothing to say, and Genesis knew it.

"Everyone thought I was gonna be the next big thing, after doing those apple juice commercials as a kid. Gonna be an actor, gonna be a star. I wanted to be some kind of star, some kind of hero. But there was no one around to hear it. I was supposed to pull myself up by my own ass and do it, when no one even looked at me. So I stopped caring. Then everyone could stop pretending I was gonna be something."

Their jaws had dropped. Suddenly, Genesis looked to the side, a touch sheepish. He had said too much.

"Anyway, I'm just gonna coast," he finished with a shrug. "No sense trying anymore. And if this shit makes me feel better, then I'm gonna milk it for all it's worth."

He held the blunt back up to his face, and twirled it between his fingers. He brought to his lips and inhaled deep. A moment later, he felt peace. The workers in front of him were just some guys, after all. Don't need to worry about them.

Genesis raised his hand in a half wave, their faces a blur of smoke. "Later." With that, he continued into the orchard with an uneven gait.

*** In the early morning, dew clung to the ripened Banora white apples, glittering like frost in the sunrise. Genesis slept peacefully under the apple tree, his school things abandoned beside him.

"Hey, are you all right?"

A voice from the outside world. He wanted to let it pass, but its owner shook him by the shoulders.

"Hello? Hey, wake up!"

That was enough to drag him out. Genesis blearily opened one eye. A handsome, rugged built youth, his age, knelt in front of him. Worry was in his soft brown eyes, but they soon flooded with relief. "Thank God! You're all right," he said. He sniffed, and his jaw tightened. "Jeez, you smell like skunk, though..."

Genesis knew this boy. As he was still a little stoned, he had a hard time placing where. "You're freezing, dude, were you out here all night?" the boy asked, patting down Genesis' bare arms. "You keep doing this and you're gonna look just like a Banora white."

He straightened Genesis up against the tree, and it shook enough to drop an apple on the ground. "Oop!" he exclaimed, and grabbed it with surprising dexterity. Genesis watched his shirt strain under his reach. "Here..."

He rested it in his lap. Genesis hadn't moved. "You're...the drummer," he said slowly. "In...jazz club?"

"Yeah, good job," he replied sarcastically. "Don't remember my name, huh?"

"A...Angel?" Genesis' eyelids fluttered. A brief flash of clarity flooded him. "No, it's uh..." "Angeal," he corrected. "Close though. And you're Genesis."

This struck Genesis as wildly funny. He began to laugh in a wheezing way that hissed out of the back of his throat. "Oh, shit!" he said, doubling over. "I sure am!"

Angeal rolled his eyes and hauled him up beneath his arm. "Oh my God," he groaned. "Come on, we're gonna be late. I can take your bags..."

"You can? You'd do that? For me?" He was still laughing, but the sentence that spilled out of his mouth took him by surprise, and was offended that he couldn't take it back. "No, no gimme my bass...I'll take it..."

Angeal handed him his bass, while he carried both his own backpack and Genesis' on each shoulder. Genesis held the apple Angeal handed him in one hand, mesmerized by it. As they started walking, he took a bite, and the texture and flavor overwhelmed him. "Shit, this is the best apple I've ever had," he marveled.

Angeal snorted. "Bet it is," he said with a sigh.

Genesis stared at him, wide-eyed. He didn't know if he'd ever looked at him before--really looked at him. He was always sitting in the background, always the backbeat. Angeal met his eye and cocked his head. "What?"

Genesis' heart thrummed, in a way he'd never really, truly experienced before. It was different than a good high, and made his head rush. "Nothing," he said, and reached over to him with apple in hand. "Want some?"

Angeal smiled, though it was tinged with gentle exasperation. Nonetheless, he accepted the apple, and took a large, crunching bite.