#so hopefully. one day. age will matter very little to me in general

[tyrannuspitch]

there are a lot of people talking about growing out of YA on my dash today and it's making me think of that one quote - "i hope one day i might be old enough to start reading fairytales again".

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Miscalculation

AN: I don't write nearly enough for Felix. Luckily, that SKZCode lab episode planted this idea in my head, and it's taken a viciously hold on me. Also, just to be super clear, despite Reader being a year old experiment, she's very much an adult. She came into the world that way. Also also, I edited this while sleepy so, hopefully it's coherent lol.

Synopsis: Your first heat hits you unexpectedly and violently one day. Thankfully, your favourite person pays you a visit in an attempt to comfort you through it. However, you both severely underestimate just how much your heat affects you. Especially around him.

General tags and warnings: Lee Felix x Fem! Reader, Scientist! Felix, Cat hybrid! Reader, lots of unethical research, Reader is an experiment, Felix tries his best to humanise Reader, doesn't really apply here but, since Reader is an experiment and Felix is a scientist there is the potential for a power imbalance, Reader is in heat, Reader is manipulative and maybe in love with Felix and not much plot.

Smut tags and warnings: heavy dubcon, mentions of masturbation and exploration of sexuality, virgin! Reader, kind of sort of fingering (f. receiving), humping/grinding, over the clothes touching, scent kink of sorts, clothes being ripped, nipple play (m. receiving), Reader takes charge a lot throughout this, little to no foreplay for Reader and a very unrealistic first time, piv sex without a condom, marking and clawing (m. receiving), biting (m. receiving), one mention of blood, possessiveness from Reader, dirty talk, praise and creampie.

Word count: 3.8k.

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

Everything burns. 

Your blankets are a crumpled mess on your floor because you're certain you'll shred them into pieces with your claws if they so much as touch your overheated body right now. The persistent buzz of the air conditioner brings you no comfort. Sweat dots your forehead and you'd take off the oversized shirt that clings to your body within an instant if Doctor Bang, red faced and avoiding your frustrated gaze, hadn't insisted on some sense of propriety. Aren't these men supposed to be doctors? Trained medical professionals? Have they never seen a naked body before? He's lucky that he's the only one out of the three older men that you can somewhat stomach because if Doctor Lee or Doctor Seo had suggested you cover yourself, you would have hissed and clawed at them. 

A frustrated noise builds from the back of your throat when you can feel your sheets starting to grow damp underneath you. You've already had to change them five times in the past two days and, you feel like you're losing your mind. Actually, you just might be. Worse than the burning that emanates through your entire body and the non-stop sweat that clings to your skin no matter how many ice-cold showers you take, is the perpetual ache between your thighs. You're not stupid. This lab may be all that you've known for the entire year of your life but, you have basic instincts and common sense. Coupled with all of the sessions you're forced to sit through with Doctor Bang in an attempt to understand you and aid you in understanding yourself, you're more than aware you're aroused right now. Or ‘wet’ as Doctor Lee and Doctor Seo put it, much to the dismay of the older of the three. 

You just don't understand why. 

In the rare moments that you've wondered about your sexuality and sex in these sterile walls, it's rarely gone beyond a few curious pokes and prods at yourself. It's mostly been a neutral experience and you didn't derive much pleasure out of it. You're sure your limited knowledge and experience on the matter has hindered your ability to enjoy masturbation much but, it's not as though the four men will just give you the material or knowledge to help pleasure yourself. You're not even sure you care all that much.

Except for when you do. Thinking back to quiet nights where the silence and loneliness of the lab was too much for your mind to handle and masturbation crossed it as a hope for distraction. A brief escape from the life you've been forced to endure. So, you tried it. Flashes of a kind smile and blonde hair making your stomach twist in a way that wasn't unpleasant, just unfamiliar. Full lips and memories of a deep voice causing arousal to trickle onto your inexperienced fingers. You'd even managed to make yourself orgasm once. It was one of the few sincerely pleasant moments you've had. 

The rest centred around him too. 

“–she's deep in heat right now, Lix.” You recognise the voice as that of Doctor Bang. Your ears twitch atop your head in interest at the conversation he's having with the only doctor you've grown fond of. You're always grateful for your hearing abilities in moments like these. 

“We can't just keep her in the dark,” Felix argues and your heart hammers loudly in your chest. Electricity zipping through you just at the sound of his voice and the knowledge that he's just beyond your bedroom door. The throbbing between your thighs worsens. 

“I know,” Doctor Bang sighs, “but, we won't be getting a shipment of suppressants until three days from now. We're just going to have to wait it out.” 

“We?” Comes Felix's incredulous reply, “We're not the ones suffering right now. I went to visit her last night Chris,” your eyes widen at the confession, “She was burning up and covered in sweat and, she's only had to deal with two days of it. You know it's not fair to her.” 

“What do you want us to do, Felix?” The older man argues, his voice heavy with frustration. 

“Treat her like a fucking person,” the younger man argues just as frustrated, “Tell her what's going on. We know she's incredibly smart. Maybe she has some biological way to make herself feel better that we haven't thought about or explored.” 

Silence stretches between the two for a few, long moments. 

“I don't think that's a good idea,” comes Doctor Bang's resigned reply, “Look Lix, I know that you care about her and the two of you have always been close. Too close for what could be considered appropriate,” you snort at that. Now he cares about ethics and what's appropriate? How funny. “But, Minho, Changbin and I care about her too. She's not just some experiment to us,” you find that hard to believe, “We just know when it's appropriate to step back and keep our distance. This is one of those times. We're going to try and help her through it as best as we can but, we're going to wait for the suppressants then feed them to her. That's it. End of discussion.” The sounds of footsteps echoing through the hallway are all that accompany his words. 

Well, at least you finally know what's wrong with you. You're in heat. Something they've apparently known you're capable of experiencing and have been suppressing since you gained consciousness. The fact that they're so blasé about letting you suffer in your room and wait days until you're able to find any kind of reprieve boils your blood in a way that has nothing to do with your biology. Yeah, so much for caring about you. You haven't even seen Doctor Seo and Doctor Lee since your symptoms first started. You don't even notice your claws prodding in your anger. You should have attempted to escape on those rare trips Felix had taken you outside of the lab. Consequences be damned. At least you'd have a shot at a normal life. You should have never let his warm eyes and compassion keep you coming back to this hellhole. 

Your furious, internal tirade is interrupted by your door sliding open. You don't have to turn around to know that it's Felix. His scent always betrays him before anything else. The familiar mix of bamboo and vanilla hit your senses. However, unlike the other times you'd bask in his scent, now it worsens the thundering of your heart and you notice the slick between your thighs increasing. 

“Hey,” he says gently, shutting the door behind him. All you can think to do is stare at your wall wide eyed as his scent grows closer with every step he takes towards your bed. Saliva begins to pool in your mouth just at the smell of him and the soft timber of his voice adds to the pit forming in your stomach. Your hands desperately grabbing at your arms in an attempt to calm you down. It's just Felix.  

“I just wanted to check up on you,” he adds when his greeting is met with silence. You have to fight extremely hard to not let your tail move wildly and to keep your claws retracted when he sits down on the edge of your bed. Fuck. He's so close now and his scent is overwhelming. The smell that used to bring you comfort now puts you on edge. A feeling that you've only felt sparks of now sets your entire body alight and the ache between your thighs starts to become unbearable. He needs to leave before your heat causes you to do something very, very stupid. 

“I know you've been struggling a lot lately,” the apologetic tone to his voice melts your heart and your impulses yell at you to crawl into his lap and nuzzle at him until he no longer sounds upset, “I'm sorry. We should have told you this when it started but, you're in heat. That's what's causing you to feel this way,” he explains, as though you hadn't overheard (more like intentionally listened in on) his conversation with Doctor Bang. 

“I know you're probably mad at us, at me,” you want to tell him no, you could never be mad at him but, you're afraid that if you speak now, you'll say something you can't take back, “I'm truly sorry. The suppressants will be here in a few days. Till then though, I'm here for you,” he says softly, laying a hand gently on your arm in what you assume is an act of comfort but, it has the complete opposite effect. 

Your blood turns molten in your veins and the fog that's been on the edges of your mind swallows it whole. All you can think about is getting your hands on him. Touching him. Feeling him. Mating with him. You've never felt more animal than human. 

One of the major perks of being a cat hybrid, you've come to learn, is your quick movements. Before Felix can process it, you're sitting up and pressed to his side within an instant. The confusion and concern on his handsome face is so endearing. He's so cute. You just want to devour him. 

“Felix,” your voice sounds near unrecognisable to even your own ears, “I want you to help me with my heat,” you practically purr into his shoulder. Grasping his arm and delighting in the pretty flush that spreads across his face. The ache of your canines extending doesn't bother you in the slightest. Your mind focused on nothing else but, the man that's been your lifeline for the past year. 

“I–I um I ca–can't do that,” he explains, his voice sounding strained. His attempt to pull his arm away proves to be futile. Not that he was trying particularly hard anyway. “But, Lix,” you whine, pushing your body closer to his, your breasts pressing against his arm, “Didn't you say you'd help me?” 

The way he attempts to stammer out a reply just makes him so much cuter to you. Nothing but, instinct driving you to press yourself even closer to him. Delighting in the shudder you feel run through his body when your breath hits his exposed neck. “Don't you want to help me, Felix?” You ask with a desperate edge to your hoarse voice, one of your hands travelling down the span of his lab coat until you reach his soft hand. Moving it until it's between your slick covered, inner thighs, “It hurts, Lix.” 

Felix, for his part, looks absolutely shell-shocked. Warm, panicked brown eyes staring at you unblinkingly but, he doesn't move his hand. Not even when your own is no longer holding it. Your body moves on its own. Hips chasing the brush that his fingers offer. Your lashes fluttering at the pleasure courses through you. You feel so sensitive, even his barely there touch is enough to cause you to gush further onto his fingers. 

And Felix watches it all. Watches the way you clumsily try to hump his fingers. Watches the minute expressions of relief and desire and frustration that all cross your beautiful face. Watches the way your canines sink into your bottom lip. Feels the way your sharp claws dig into his lap coat. He doesn't miss a thing. 

Impulse and maybe a fraction of ration desire push you to tug on his button up shirt and kiss him. You're moving completely on what feels natural and what you've seen a couple of movies he's watched with you. It takes him a second to kiss you back. Tentatively following the movements of your lips and guiding you in more comfortable and enjoyable directions. You swallow his stuttered groan greedily when your tongue invades his mouth. Searching for more of him to explore. To taste. To burn into your memory. 

As nice as it feels to kiss him like you've thought about far too many times in the silence of your room and, use his fingers and hand to help satiate the persistent ache that sits in the pit of your stomach, it still all isn't enough. Not even close. This time, you moan into his mouth when one of your hands snakes its way down the front of his body until it comes to rest on his lap. A particularly painful throb coming from the apex of your thighs when you feel how hard he is beneath your touch. 

“So you do want this just as much as I do,” you sigh dreamily against his lips, sparks of desire shooting through your entire body with every palm of your hand over his clothed cock. All of his adorable, little noises making your walls clench. You don't think you've ever felt pain like this in your entire, short life. Saliva pools in your mouth as his scent wafts to you. Much heavier and headier than earlier. Beneath the anxiety and fear, the arousal makes its presence known clear as day. 

“W–Wait, I–” Whatever he was going to say is cut short by you shoving him onto your bed. His wide eyes, pupils blown out and completely swallowing his irises, meeting your lidded ones as he watches you straddle his slender hips. You've always thought he was a good-looking man but, he looks even better like this, underneath you. 

Your eyes practically roll into the back of your head when you press down on him. Your drenched folds coming in contact with the evident bulge in his dress pants. Resting your palms on his stomach, you start to move. Chasing the friction against your clit desperately. Not caring all about the mess you're making of his pants. Your eyes focused on watching the way he tries very, very hard not to lose himself in the way you grind against him. His hands clenching and unclenching at his sides as he lays there and let's you use him. 

Fuck. What a cutie. 

His eyes shoot to your face when you use your claws to rip his blue button up open. While the colour looks absolutely lovely on him, you much prefer the sight of his bare chest. Your tongue running over your teeth at all the skin that you now have access to. 

“He–Hey, I think we should calm d–down a bit and–” Felix tries to interject, the drop in octave of his voice doesn't go unnoticed by you. You disregard his words easily. Leaning down to shut him up with your mouth while your hands busy themselves with exploring his chest. Your canines nipping his bottom lip when he gasps into you while you trace his nipples with your claws. Sensitive too. Perfect. 

“Why stop when I can feel how hard you are for me, Lixie?” You whisper against his full lips, fingers tracing random patterns into his nipples. His hips jutting up to meet your drenched core every time you touch him a little too harshly or drag yourself along his entire length. 

“Don't you want to just give in?” You ask, meeting his blown out eyes as your hands move their way along his lithe body until they reach his belt buckle. 

“I–I–” he stutters out when you sit back up so you can gain a better view of his frustrating belt. He must see you preparing to rip his pants off too because he stops you immediately, “I–It's okay, I got um it,” he quickly responds. You shift down him a little to provide him with space to unbuckle his belt. Fortunately, he doesn't take too long. You're sure your impatience is rolling off of you in waves. 

Much to your surprise given how bashful he's been, he tugs his pants and boxers down in one go. His hard, pre-cum covered cock slapping against his stomach in his rush, his eyes pointedly looking at everywhere but, you. 

It's one thing to feel him, it's a whole different matter entirely to have his cock right there, ready for the taking. And take, you do. It's adorable how red his face is and the way he sneaks glances at you shyly when you shift back up his body until your dripping pussy is hovering over his twitching cock. Your shirt sticks to your damp body uncomfortably and, the reminder that you're still wearing it is an unwelcome one. So, you simply tug it off. Exposing yourself freely and readily to his shy eyes. 

Not that he's all that shy when you're bare for him to fully drink in. Bruised lips parting as he watches you grasp his cock with an impatient hand and align it with your dripping hole. He doesn't stop you when you begin to sink down onto him. Strained whimpers falling from his pretty mouth with every inch you eagerly swallow. The stretch only stings a little. The sensation of his scorching cock dragging along your walls more than makes up for it. It's your turn to moan once he's fully sheathed inside of you. Your clumsy attempts with your fingers don't hold a candle to this. 

The way Felix chokes on your name when you start to move will forever be etched into your memory. The pleasure clear as day on his face spurs you along with the desire to feel him inside of you for as long as you can. To make love with him in this awful place that only he gave any semblance of meaning to. To mate with him. 

You lose yourself in the way his cock feels easily. Fluttering lashes threatening to shut every time he hits a spot inside of you that makes your pace falter and your claws dig into his soft stomach. The faint, pink lines that decorate his skin cause you to preen. They look gorgeous on his skin. They look like they belong there. Like they were meant to be there. Based on the way his hooded eyes switch from watching the expressions your face morphs into, the way your breasts bounce with every movement on his cock and the way you swallow as much of him as you can, you don't think he minds or cares all that much. 

Your skin grows impossibly hotter when his hands touch you. He's careful. Watching for any discomfort but, there's none to be found. If anything, you revel in the gentle hold his hands take of your hips. Not controlling your movements but just enjoying touching you while you bounce on his cock. 

You might actually love him. 

The thought prompts you to lean down and smash your lips to his once more. The metallic tang of blood lets you know that you nipped him too hard but he doesn't care all that much. Letting you take everything you need from him right now while he lets you. You can feel the way he throbs inside of you. He tries to stop himself but, you notice the way his hips sometimes jerk up to meet you, to move with you. And the knowledge that, on some level, he wants you just as much as you want him sends you into overdrive. 

His sharp inhale echoes through your room when you sink your canines into his neck. The punctures aren't deep but, they're more than enough to satisfy you. You're not sure why or how you knew to do that but, instinct has been your driving force all night and you're going to continue to trust it. 

“We're mated now,” you sigh, thumbing his flushed cheek. 

He just looks up at you for a moment, attempting to digest your words before responding, “Mate–Mated?” 

“Mmm,” you hum in confirmation, purring when you notice the way his twitches like crazy inside of you, “You're my mate now, and I'm yours,” you explain breathlessly. A tension you're barely familiar with building in the pit of your gut that you chase. 

“But we fuck can't–” his sentence is cut off by the drawn out moans from the depths of his chest, his eyes rolling into the back of his head when you pick up your pace. He looks so attractive like this. A bruise already forming on his neck and his chest littered with faint marks from your claws. He's gorgeous. 

“I'm ah cl–close,” he gasps out, his glazed eyes meeting yours and his hands desperately gripping your hips, “You need to shit st–stop,” he manages to stutter out. You think it's amusing that he thinks you're going to stop now. Especially when you're just about to get what you want. Leaning down to his ear, you whisper, “Why, Lixie? You look so cute like this. Why would I ever want to stop?” You smile when you hear the way he whimpers and his cock pulses harder inside of you, “Don't you want to cum inside me?” His hold on you grows tighter, “I want you to. I want you to cum inside me until it's spilling out of me,” you emphasise your point by intentionally clenching around him, “For days.” 

That's all it takes for him to break. His cock throbbing as he shoots his cum into the deepest part of you. A mix of his whimpers and strangled moans of your name tickle your ears as his cum fills your eagerly awaiting pussy. Your tail swishes in glee and your ears twitch in happiness. Your own orgasm creeping up on you when you feel the last of his cum spill into you. Truly, the late nights alone in your bed could never compare to this. To him. Your first orgasm could never hold a candle to this. Your entire body is riddled with quivers and shakes, your wetness gushing onto Felix's softening cock. Your thighs are sticky with cum and you're drenched in sweat but, you've never been more at peace. 

For some time, your shared laboured breathing is the only sound in your room. Fondness bubbles up inside of you when you glance at his flushed, sweaty face. His golden hair sticking to his forehead while he takes some time to come back to himself. Your fingers move before you can even think about it. The fog retreating slightly while you play with his hair and enjoy the simple pleasure of watching him while your combined releases trickle out of you. Much to your displeasure.  

You smile at him when he finally blinks his eyes open to meet yours. Your fingers ghosting over his mate mark as something primal and affectionate simmers in the pit of your stomach. He really is yours now. Your tail wraps around his leg without you even noticing. 

The smile he gives you is small but, it's still one of his smiles and the way your heart hammers in your chest lets you know he really was meant to be your mate. 

Reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Do not repost, edit, copy and/or translate my work. I do not give you my permission to do so, nor will you ever receive it.

Stray Kids Masterlist | Ko-Fi

[smallpwbbles]

She didn’t get that sketch book back

Quick fic for my Biolizard shadow au taking place pre Ark incident, just some nice fluff between Maria and Shadow

Feel free to criticise the fuck outta this, haven’t written a fic since I was like 13, did feel nice to write this though, hopefully I can turn write a longer fic for the au like I said I wanted to do

Maria was beginning to get restless, it had been a long week full of tests, resting, recovering and just a general sense of stagnation. The days were beginning to phase into a repetitive cycle and while she could manage with it, she couldn’t say it wasn’t beginning to get boring.

Her studies were just finishing up, she had once again been bested by her least favourite subject, math. Maria was quite smart for her age, a symptom of being a Robotnik no doubt, however math had such a way with turning her brain to mush. She was sick enough as it was, she didn’t need the subject doing away with her mind too.

Her notebook and sticky notes were packed away in a cute little cubby adorably stuck with a tag with her name on it, next to hers was an empty cubby addressed with the name Shadow, it was unfortunate that with the monstrous hedgehogs seemingly unending growth spurts came the ability to not fit almost anywhere on the Ark, apart for his enclosure of course.

Maria put a hand to the unused cubby, she very much missed studying in the classroom with Shadow, but her grandfather did allow for studies to be taught with Shadow in the enclosure when they were both on best behaviour, the old man may be a stickler but was an absolute softie at heart.

Gerald was erasing the algebra on the blackboard with a content smile, Maria could see he was in quite a good mood today which was especially great as the week of tests wasn’t just unfortunate to her. As Shadow was due for many tests to check on the state of his growth, Gerald and his team spent many weeks trying to get it under control right after Shadow had begun to increase in size rapidly.

The scientists had all done their best but to an ailing Shadow, who had to be okay with needles and diagrams shoved in and around him, he was at best irate and at worst, down right hostile. One of the testing scientists was still recovering in the first aid section of the Ark after a particularly vexed Shadow struck out. He was “grounded” after such an incident, which doesn’t mean much when you’re 35 feet and can kill a person with minimal effort, but it meant Maria couldn’t see him at the moment.

That wasn’t gonna stop her from trying.

“Grandfather! Studies were absolutely wonderful today, I feel maths gets easier and easier each time you teach it to me” Maria lied. Her plan was to butter him up, get him in an even better mood, maybe then he would feel lenient enough to let her stay in the enclosure with Shadow.

“It makes me glad to hear that Maria my dear, maths has always been an essential subject matter in the world of education, why I’ve loved maths ever since I was a young tot, you know I solved my first problem when I was just 3 years old-“ Gerald kept on. Oh no, she got him rambling, maybe she could shoot her shot and just ask outright. The last time he rambled it put her right to sleep on her desk, it hurt his feelings but the second she started hearing percentages her brain shut it down.

“May I see Shadow today!?” She hadn’t meant to blurt it out so outright but she felt the ramble was about to edge towards fractions and decimals and she quite had enough of those today

Gerald’s animated ramblings stopped in an instant and he faced his granddaughter who was doing her best to charm him with her childish adorable appeal

He hummed and hawed for a moment before shaking his head “Now Maria I know you miss Shadow very much but he is in trouble at the moment”

A wave of defensiveness washed over Maria as she recounted Shadow was currently punished due to actions he did in a moment of stress and anger, she felt in the same position she would have struck out or at the very least gave that scientist a good old raspberry, she was still proud she taught Shadow that, Gerald didn’t need to know that though.

“Oh but Grandfather, it’s been more than a week, I’m sure Shadow has learned his lesson” Maria begged.

“He growled at one of our scientists who came for a check up this morning, one he particularly likes mind you” he retorted

“I mean it could be a bit of that teenage rebellion you’re always claiming me to have when I’m not happy to see you in the morning” She countered.

“I-“ Gerald stopped himself and put a finger to his lip, honestly he couldn’t dismiss that. As Shadow continued to grow he picked up more behaviours Gerald could attribute to the traditional development of adolescence. It still had him flabbergasted as he recalled Shadow sticking his tongue right at Gerald one time during studies.

“None the matter, I don’t want you getting hurt in there because of the irritation he’s at right now” Gerald commanded. Maria deflated, this definitely wasn’t going out the way she has planned.

“He would never! Shadow absolutely adores us, he wouldn’t hurt us” Maria argued, she trusted this 100%. Although around most people some could say Shadow could be careless, Maria and Gerald were of a select few that Shadow handled with the upmost care and caution. Maria could just about get away with doing anything around Shadow, if not for her sickness she would most definitely use the gigantic hedgehog as a playground.

At quiet times before lights were out, when allowed she would curl up in Shadows large claws, it amazed her how still and gentle he could be, she felt like a glass doll in his hands as she deducted he was so still in fear of jostling her. It saddened her that Shadow was at such a state he felt even the slightest movements would hurt her.

Gerald put a palm to his head, “I know he wouldn’t hurt you on purpose Maria, but Shadow can forget himself sometimes, need I remind you of Steven, who is in the infirmary because of Shadows actions?” He scolded. Maria didn’t have a retort for that, she could defend shadow as much as she liked but it didn’t change that he had indeed hurt someone.

She looked down to her dress skirt and gripped the fabric of it, she knew better than to act like a brat not getting their way but she was getting irate, one more plea, and if no results she would would back down, lest she get into an argument with her grandfather and end up in trouble herself.

“I’ve just felt absolutely restless. I understand he’s in trouble grandfather but he always behaves around me, I could even go in there and get him to apologise! He’s usually nicer after I give him a good talking to” Maria gripped her skirt harder, she was honest about getting him to apologise, she didn’t want him thinking what he had done to that scientist was okay.

Gerald studied her for a moment before letting out a defeated sign, the softie in him had won, he hated seeing Maria as desperate as she was, and she was not wrong. Maria’s presence seemed to greatly improve Shadows mood the most

“Fine, you can see him” Maria almost jumped up in excitement but steeled herself, it didn’t stop her from looking absolutely giddy “but you are not to rile him up in any way, and if I feel you are in danger you are to come out, understand” Gerald instructed.

Maria gave a silly salute, she couldn’t help it knowing her plan came around “loud and clear!”

——————————————————————

He was clearly pouting when she got to the viewing windows of Shadows enclosure, he was lying on his side and had his back to the large reinforced windows, so nobody could see his face. It was cute to Maria, he always did this getting in trouble.

He was also very still, she actually couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not in that position, a second later when he turned his head slightly to notice her presence confirmed he was indeed awake. Shadow had quite the ability to sense the people around him without anyone else knowing they were there. He glared at her before immediately curling in on himself, she had no idea how someone that big could make themselves look smaller but he was managing quite well.

She put her hands to the window, the glare he just gave her hadn’t put her off, he clearly wasn’t as happy to see her as she thought he would be but that was her gigantic, hedgehog, lizard buddy in need and she hadn’t almost got on her knees and begged to see him for nothing.

3 little taps to the glass, Maria did this just to give him a warning whenever she was coming in, in response Shadow seemed to curl further in on himself, he almost looked like a gigantic spiky ball.

Maria made a small trek down a compact set of Stairs to some steel doors that led into the enclosure, there was a code box right next to the doors that needed an input only Maria, Gerald and some trusted scientists knew. Quickly putting in 4 digits, her birthday as predictably done by her grandfather, Maria bounced in excitement as the doors painstakingly opened.

The chamber was quiet and smelled of lavender, Maria had recommended a calming smell might tide over Shadow to act nicer during testing, while it hadn’t, he still very much enjoyed the smell.

Maria encountered the big ball of black and red quills and scales, he was very much still pouting and didn’t seem to want to acknowledge her. She gave a couple pats to what she could assume was his tail but it was quite hard to tell as curled up as he was.

Shadow gave no response to indicate he felt the pats so she grabbed a few quills and gave a small tug, she didn’t want to tug hard as she’d definitely get cut if he bristled his quills in response, yet he still gave no reaction.

Oh he was really having quite the tantrum today. She put her hands to her hips and gave the giant wall of quills a tired look

“Shadow it’s me! Are you not happy to see me?” Maria yelled up at him.

If he was, he gave no reciprocation. It humbled her quite intensely as it was a first for Shadow to completely ignore her.

She looked down at her shoes and decided if he was gonna be the Debbie of downers she would use other means of entertainment. She pulled out her small sketch pad that conveniently fit in her skirt pockets. It was a great source of distraction when she had nothing to do or nobody to talk to.

She walked over to some worn down chairs that were placed carefully far to one end of the enclosure, they were initially placed there for observation of Shadow but it was an overestimated idea as most scientists didn’t have the nerve to be in the same room as Shadow for more than 5 minutes. Maria abused this section of the enclosure to benefit her creative devices and made Shadow the subject of most of her sketches.

It was about 5 minutes into drawing when she had stopped drawing Shadow as doodling a curled up spiky ball hadn’t been as fun as she thought. She looked up from her sketch pad as Shadow began to unfurl, as he stretched out she heard some of his bones crack back into place, bones cracking was already an unnerving sound to her, hearing it at Shadows size was something entirely else so she couldn’t help the look that came on her face.

Shadow stopped his stretching to study her, he smirked at the unsettled face Maria made as it was quite an amusing expression for her to pull, the smirked made her a little irate considering how rudely he was to ignore her just before.

“I see you got tired of pouting” Maria huffed, Shadow simply stuck her tongue at her, she gasped in shock and stook up immediately, absolutely aghast he would use such a move on her of all people, she kind of wish she hadn’t taught him that now.

“That’s absolutely- why I never- you are such a rude-“ she couldn’t make up her mind what to say in response. Shadow sat on his hind legs and looked at her in amusement, to anyone who could have been outside the enclosure, the sight of a young blond girl yelling and scolding the near 40 foot giant beast was bewildering.

“It’s no wonder grandfather didn’t want me to see you, with you acting like such a brat I have half a mind to walk out of here, are you even sorry for what you did?!” Maria furiously turned her back to him and folded her arms, if she looked back she would have seen Shadow flinch at the question. “The scientists are doing the best to help you and you had someone sent into first aid!” She grumbled.

Maria heard some loud shuffling then the room shook for a moment, she steadied herself and looked back to see Shadow had repositioned himself with his back to her. She didn’t know why the sight infuriated her more but it just seemed like he wanted to be insanely difficult today.

She began to march over to him, about to give him a peace of her mind. However when she traversed enough to get a even look at what she assumed would be a unremorseful smug smirk, she was met with a regretful furrowed brow, his red crimson irises met her blue azure ones and he instantly looked away and brought his arms up to hold himself. He wouldn’t look back at her.

Maria began to calm herself, one look at him told her what she knew, of course he felt bad for what he did. She wanted to give herself a right slap for forgetting herself, he obviously found it hard to talk about what happened, she shouldn’t have expected him to be right and ready to talk as soon as she walked through those doors.

She slowly came closer and put a hand to his ankle, that was as much as she could reach at his current sat up stance. He dared a glance down at her tiny form and again looked away, she could feel the giant begin to tremble, she then heard as an unmistakable voice rasped out “…didn’t mean to”.

His voice rumbled throughout her body as her heart wrenched at that statement. She believed it without question, he was gentle and caring, she was tired after the week long tests. Maria could only imagine what it was like for him after being poked and prodded for hours on end.

“I know” she comforted. She really did wish he was at least a little smaller, it was really hard to comfort someone who has a hand as big as your entire body.

She could attempt to climb up his leg but she really didn’t want to risk getting Gerald upset with her if she was to exacerbate her already strained lungs. She motioned at shadow with her hand and got his attention “Shadow your hand please” she gently commanded

He knew what she was asking and took a hand off his person to reach her, only seeing his claws near her had him stop for a moment which Maria noticed. “You would never hurt me” she assured. He gently scooped her up and cupped his other hand to the one holding her.

Shadow brought up a safely secured Maria up to his face in which she at once assaulted him with a full face hug, it surprised him for a moment but he instantly melted into it. She did this when she knew he was even a bit upset. He did find the gesture embarrassing but appreciated it all the same.

Maria nuzzled into his muzzle harder, she’d be finding fur in her dress for ages but she didn’t mind, the priority was Shadow. She was glad he was remorseful, it would have been alarming if she had to explain why it’s wrong to send someone into the infirmary but Shadow seemed to grasp the consequences of the event that transpired.

“You are going to apologise once Steven is out of the infirmary aren’t you?” She left his muzzle alone finally and looked up at him, he seemed embarrassed at such a request but knew he couldn’t argue with something that was the least he could do. He nodded firmly and hoped it would be enough to satisfy Maria.

It definitely was as she once again came full force with a hug to his muzzle, he did wish he could return such a gesture properly but he’d definitely crush the poor girl with such a return, instead he just leaned his face into her arms, she was such a tiny thing to him but the action warmed his heart so immensely he’d almost forgotten why he was mad in the first place.

Maria plopped back into his palm, content with her job as “the Shadow whisperer”, as she had oddly dubbed herself in her mind. She wished she could converse with him about all the events that transpired while he had been “grounded” but it mostly included tests which was the furthest thing she was sure both of them wanted to talk about. In that moment she remembered the little notepad she was doodling in earlier.

Shadow watched as she fought to relieve her pocket of the sketch pad and as she flicked through a few pages of quite nice and detailed drawings of him and a few familiar faces he’d seen on the Ark, his interested peaked as he watched her turn to her recent pages and she chortled, Maria shakily stood up on Shadows surprisingly soft palm and held the sketch pad to Shadow, who’s interested promptly died when he saw a drawing of a spiky ball which had been nicely detailed with an annotate to tell whoever was reading the ball was a “grumpy pouty shadow”.

Maria watched Shadows face fall flat and couldn’t help that roar of laughter that immediately escaped her, this only continued to irritate the humongous hedgehog. He brought over his other hand that didn’t have a laughing Maria in it and swiftly brought it over his palm, Maria yelled out a panicked “NO WAIT-“ as he did so. He didn’t hurt her, he just gave her a quick squish to shut her up. That seemed to do the job as he opened his palms to a silence Maria who had her hair adorably scruffy from the attack “I hate it when you do that, I totally deserved it though” she concluded

He snickered at that and she gave him a quick punch to his pinkie finger

——————————————————————

Maria had lost track of the time she had been in the enclosure after 2 hours. She wasn’t worried she’d been in too long as her Grandfather had cameras in the chamber and would have called her out if he wanted her out.

She had returned to her drawings while she was cradled in Shadows palms. She was absolutely engrossed in her current drawing and hadn’t noticed Shadow wasn’t giving input or feedback on her drawings anymore.

The palm she was in suddenly jerked and she had to grab one of his fingers to keep from losing balance, her sketch pad had fallen to the ground when the motion happened. She looked up when she was steadied and saw Shadow, he seemed to have not noticed what he had done. Honestly he seemed quite out of it, she quickly realised the poor thing was fighting sleep and must have accidentally jerked back to being half awake.

“Shadow” Maria called, his eyes opened fully to address her but immediately went back to being half lidded. “Are you tired? I can leave so you can get some rest” she offered.

He stubbornly shook his head and cupped his other hand under her, normally he would have let her go off when she wanted and went back to doing as he did alone in the enclosure but she was sure it was his sleepy brain not wanting her to leave and he was acting upon that.

“Alright alright, don’t have a fuss I’m not going anywhere, even if I could” he had brought his hand close enough that she could reach a particular spot under his muzzle, she gave it a few scritches and had to steel herself when he began purring, it was an intense and loud sound that she feel sending waves through her entire body but she bared it.

He leaned into it, and began to literally lean his entire body’s forward when the feeling of the scratches began to calm his already tired mind, Maria had to stop and immediately grabbed onto anything she could, which was his ring finger as Shadow fell forward, the enclosure shook from the weight of him falling and Maria waited for the vibrations to die down, she hoped her grandfather was not watching the cameras at that moment as she could of accidentally been hurt, she could hear and feel the vibrations of Shadows quiet snores as it confirmed he has simply fallen asleep.

She hopped off his palm to trek to his face, give him a quick hug. Her mission was to now find her sketch pad, that last drawing she was engrossed with had come along really well and she wanted to show her grandfather how her art skills were coming out. Her face turned grief stricken when she realised her sketch pad had fallen where Shadow lay asleep right now, if he rolled over which she knew he was guaranteed to do, it was completely over for that drawing as well as her entire sketch pad.

Maria inhaled and then exhaled. The stories of the superheroes her grandfather read to her had to go through sacrifice, and right now as the shadow whisperer, she could definitely say she was going through sacrifice right now.

[highhhfiveee]

Are you gonna finish your pornstar!mikeschmidt x Reader because I want reader to cuss him out and just shout how they feel 😔😔

(Totallly ok if ur not gonna finish it though it was so good anyways >_<)

yes!!! i've actually been on here today writing more [: we're halfway there officially and at 5806 words lmao. sorry to be taking soooooo long on this part, but here's a little [unedited] something to tide you over [hopefully!]:

a peek into safety net, part five

"fair point, i suppose. still, it wouldn't hurt to have a conversation, no matter how difficult. from what you've told me, mike seems to have a good head on his shoulders. he sounds generous, caring, gentle and though nowhere near perfect, of course, you've painted a picture to me that he's tried hard to cultivate a safe space for you. it's a safety net, your own personal nirvana."

dr. kelley's imagery has you transported; you find yourself in the sky, its deep, intentional brushstrokes of pink and orange surrounding you in an endless landscape. a bungee net stretches with moderate tension in four directions, leaving you in the slouchy center. a cool breeze crosses your face as you search around for mike, yelling his name into what seemed to you like a void.

"I understand that your trauma and experiences makes it a bit harder to acclimate and feel entitled to that kind of treatment. that is fair and fine, but what's not is refusing to communicate that to mike. you can talk to me about it all day, rack up on your invoice by all means, but it does nothing if you don't put in the work."

"but I did put in the work! from my anniversary to now!"

"how many days is that?"

"...five," dr. kelley sighs, fatigued by your green nature. she rarely took in clients your age, half her own and like toddlers exploring a brand new world, but something about your fervor had spoken to her. she saw that you weren't one to back down, and after a few sessions, she knew she'd been right.

yet, she was wise enough to know that stubbornness was both a blessing and a curse, and here in this moment, it was the curse that saw you from seeing the truth. "we've talked about self sabotage before. when you first told me of your relationship with mike, how it made you feel, i pointed it out instantly. if you're telling me that you've overcome every feeling you've told me about in five days, i might as well give you my credentials cause you're a better therapist than me, apparently."

very excited to write this last half [: it's very immersive so I can't wait [: see you all soon!

ALSO HAPPY FUCKING PRIDE! I LOVE YOU ALL, YOU’RE SO VALID AND LOVED AND WORTHY! QUEER FOLK 🔛🔝

[ottiliere]

hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on

(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶

Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.

I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.

“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.

The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.

I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.

Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!

[greeniegreengreen]

No because this hit me randomly while trying to complete my assignments and I wanna get out as much as I can before it disappears into the "I really should've written that down void"

Jason Todd x Reader

Duke Thomas x Reader

TO THE PEOPLE WHO DID PUT IN ASKS, THEY'LL BE DONE AND POSTED AS SOON AS I SUBMIT(hopefully tomorrow, Sunday, midday latest) Y'all put in some good shit for me to write and I actually wanna get it out proper instead of just drabbling it out in a rush - unless that's what you want

ANYWAYS BACK TO MY THOTS - well more like the one’s reader gone be looking into >:]

SUGGESTIVE = +18, MDNI

Word Count: IDK,,,just words enough to try and clear this out my system

Didn't have a set gender in mind so it can be Female/Male/Gender Neutral,,however you choose to perceive it.

For as long as you can remember, you have always been able to read people’s thoughts and feelings. Heck if you focused with little effort on a person you’d be able to see into their minds and get an exact picture of what was in there.

That little what you called a cheat is what helped you become one of the best Interior Designers in Gotham. You were able to get exactly what a client wanted and they absolutely loved you for that, not knowing any better of course.

Of course with such rising popularity the Wayne Family had to have to redesign a few spaces for them, be it at the Manor, Tower or any holiday homes that they felt needed a change.

With your budding romance towards a specific family member comes very specific thoughts and crafted images every time you seem to be alone together.

JASON

Why would you be seeing the kitchen? As you kept focused on what seemed to be a memory from when Bruce had hired you to work on the kitchen with Alfred taking the lead on the project as it was his space more than anyone else's. It seemed he remembered the exact outfit you had on that day too. A simple beige tee tucked in baggy pale blue jeans and grey converses to finish the look. Put together but not too stuffy. You stood right by the island with a pencil between your teeth and a large sheet of paper laid out in front of you. You had been looing at the most recent layout of the kitchen to give you an idea of how to play around with how everything was set. Alfred from the looks of things wanted it to be more effective but gain a more polished look.

Jason's obsession with literature was no secret to anybody who lived in the Manor so it was no surprise when he had called you in to take a look at the ever aging library. After seeing how you had set the kitchen per Alfred's request he was eager to have you work on it.

You had come in on day one wearing your beige blouse jumpsuit to discuss and get a general idea of what he wanted to get done. The mention of trying to fit more books in didn't sound as impossible as he had hoped. It was just a matter of using the pre-exisiting infrastructure to your advantage while adding new bits and bobs to reach the idea he had in mind.

On day two you had brought in your iPad and pencil to scribble some potential sketches that you were sure Jason would love from what you looked into the day before. With him now browsing at the layout options, you were sat across from him on a what had to be a Baltimora Bespoke Rococo sofa in a pale yellow eyeing his every move. He was very good looking, the white streak in his black hair brought out the evergreen in his eyes that shone a dark blue when the light hit them right. Build quite big and towering compared to you, it was a little daunting yet alluring when he looked down on you with a slight tilt of his head however sitting down even though he did still surpass you in height you would be able to maintain eye contact without feeling a type of way. He seemed to be taking his time with his choice so a little peak into his mind wouldn't be a bother.

The kitchen?

With your mind somewhere else you had not noticed him coming into the kitchen until he had made his way behind you to get to the fridge, leaving out a barely audible excuse me.

His failed attempt at pardoning himself had caused you to turn right as he tried to get past you. A trip in your feet at both shock of someone else being in the kitchen and bumping into them almost caused you to fall.

Jason had caught you right by your waist, grip tight and pulling you close to try and keep you both steady. You hands crunching up into the front of his shirt as this was the first thing you had grabbed. He at that moment was trying to calm his breathe as he was sure with how close your hands were to his chest that you could feel his increasing heartbeat. He'd seen you before on magazines and interviews, a few times around the Manor too but this was the first time he was able to meet you in person. Much less this up close. You were quite attractive and that didn't make this situation any better. You had looked up in that moment and by the widening of your eyes it seemed as if you had just understood who exactly you bumped into.

What felt like minutes on the day, moved by within seconds of you two removing each other from the other from the looks of the memory. Your hands sliding down his chest swiftly while his had taken a rather unhurried path to your waist before letting go completely.

You remember that day very well. You were too flustered by everything that you never ever tried to look into what he thought of the entire thing before apologising and resuming what you were planning on doing.

As much as you remember the memory stopped there, but his didn't?

He put in something.

Instead of his hands fully leaving your hips he had used his grip to pull you closer to his heating body. A small gasp escaping your lips at the surprise of the action.

He walked you backwards towards the island making sure you didn't hit the edge harshly. Before bringing up his right hand to place right by your throat keeping his eyes on yours. The gap closing between the two of you before lips met right in the middle. A kiss one that was filled with curiosity and excitement dragged on in his mind.

His hands coming to lift you so that you were sat on the counter, the perfect height for him to lean his hips into your open legs properly.

He let out a small grunt of the word, "Fuck."

You let out a small whimper before pulling away from the memory completely. Wanting to focus on the current moment.

"Everything alright?" Jason asked in a worried tone at the sudden sound.

"Dandy." You gave a small smile trying to brush off what you just saw.

DUKE

You and Duke got along. A little too well one would say. After meeting at a gala Bruce had hired you to furnish which lead to an invitation to the event, you had gotten closer each day.

Duke enjoyed the conversations he had with you about anything and nothing whereas you enjoyed the change of pace of things. It all felt nice and mundane outside of being able to read people's minds and being a vigilante.

Your most favourite things to do was watch cringe level rom-coms. What was better than being able to sit in front of the in-house theater with all your favourite snacks and foods, a blanket and pillows that created a plush nest of sorts for you too. Every Tuesday night, as random as the day seemed it worked perfectly. Dick was on night shift, Tim barely left the office on weekends much less weekdays and nights, Damian was always quick to disappear to the Batcave (Duke would just say he was in "bed") Bruce would end up holed in his study with lord knows what, Jason hadn't been home in 4 months after deciding he needed his own space and going back to his apartment and Alfred always excused himself early on Tuesday as it was never really busy around then.

Tuesday nights were always just perfect for you two. A nice time to just feel second-hand embarrassment together from what the characters did on screen.

However today was not the same as any other day. A new movie was released on Netflix the Sunday before so naturally you and Duke had decided to set it to the following Tuesday's movie night. Neither of you had bothered to look at the trailer believing in the skimmed over reviews and it being labelled a rom-com. What more did you expect but something to crunch your face over.

You had come in with your summer pjs as the weather was warming up and made your way to the theater, ready to help Duke set things up. He had already laid out his half of things while you proceeded to give him a quick greeting and putting everything you brought with yourself down.

Once all was set and the lights were turned off, you began the movie.

Nothing seemed out of place, it followed a typical girl who needed to move back to her hometown for reasons that always had to do with a job. As she gets back she reconnects with old friends, crushes and flings.

You and Duke share laughs at the obvious plot and proceed to make bets on who the end-goal love interest would be in this one. Would it be the guy she had a crush on in first grade? Or her male best friend that had the biggest crush on her her entirety of high school but never confessed? Or would it be the bad boy she had lost her virginity to on Prom Night as an impromptu thing as she didn't want to leave high school a virgin.

As fun as placing the bets was with the promise of pizza as the prize, nothing could have prepared you two for what you were about to witness.

Right on screen as the female lead and one of the potential love interests shared a kiss, it seemed to get heated?

A lot more heated than a standard rom-com would allow actually. And were they taking off their clothes?

What was the rating on this again?

It had to be +18NL with how things were playing out. Quite explicit too.

Removing your eyes from the screen to glance at Duke, you notice how he doesn't seem to budge. Eyes glued and focused as he gulps down the saliva building up on his tongue.

Curious to what his thoughts were on the unexpected sex scene that they were experiencing for the first time together, you were taken aback.

From what you could make out you were right under Duke, both of you bare chested like the characters on the screen, both of you breathing out heavily like the characters on the screen, both of you closing the gap like the characters on the screen. It's when the point of view changes to Duke's perspective of things that you realise he's projecting you both on what you're both watching.

Duke inches down your body maintaining eye contact as he gets to your covered bottom. Eyes flicking down to the material before looking back up at you as if begging to remove them. You give him a nod and he eagerly give a quick kiss through them before yanking them off hurriedly so. Duke gulps again both on in his projection and in person before going all in tasting every inch of you.

Your eyes move to watch the screen and not him and as it was all playing out in his head there the two characters were getting it on exactly as he projected it.

Grabbing for the remote, you pause it.

"I think we need a break from that, no?" You suggest feeling flustered thanking every being out there that allowed you to be in such a dark room at this moment.

Duke was a very good looking guy, his personality made him a solid catch too. But it was another thing to tell the guy you've been chilling with casually as friends that you felt heated from his thoughts and would be more than willing to play it out right there in the theater.

Duke gulped for a third time before nodding and agreeing.

Maybe on another time would you initiate something, just in the privacy of your home lounge this time.

[pasharuu]

my process of making a comic for public vk ask is precise: pick a question, get the general idea and make a silly doodle teasing it, brainstorm about that (i usually write it up so i wont forget everything in a second), compose and finally illustrate. so today i wanna show you one of the brainstorms. i usually write these up just along the way, noting everything that comes to my mind, and in russian of course, but this time i made it as clean as possible, and also as short as possible... these are sometimes super massive, especially if i get to theorizing (i usually do). its just a funny thing to share because i too think that my texts are very absurd fr. and also its a practice, i have english exam in less than a month. alright, lemme copy and paste it from my memos and pretend we're getting started.

=======

so there is an age old question lying in arana's askbox (literally september 2nd.. and its unanswered, luckily for me) that is basically about why arana ended up befriending rana, and the person specified how could she become so devoted solely to rana. when i saw that, i once again confirmed to myself how poorly people know the story of aranyaka, but im not mad about that at all, its rather an opportunity for me to tell a story! simply answering the question with a little of a correction would be too boring, so i decided that i will only use post-aranyaka arana as a talking head to make things more interesting. the key is that she had forgotten everything we learned during the questline, so with that she will only have to assume stuff. stories are a thing, of course, but a very different thing. so this is a setup that hopefully will make things more intriguing. with that said, let me try to solve a problem the asking person stated previously to debut myself.

first of all, i want to state why arana is not devoted solely to rana. she actually told us otherwise: she is basically a babysitter for all the children of vimara village, probably she's even been caring for generations of them considering how old she is. plus, rana is an adult and she cant see aranara, and so arana. arana still does watch over her, but she doesnt hang out with her anymore. with such a summation theres no way arana would be dedicated only to rana. we get to focus on rana because she is in trouble, and thats how things always go: when someone is ill, they need more care to get healthy again. arana is just committing a genuine help in a serious situation, just like she did with iotham by the way.

so the little misunderstanding is solved, now moving onto the difficult part. how will arana explain herself? of course i will not let rana speak majorly, best at all even. this is the difficulty, because rana is the one who remembers. arana still must be aware of being friends with rana and the children from the village in the past, but lets get into her perspective for a moment.

its a cool concept to have someone who barely knows the subject to talk about that subject: they will make mistakes, make assumptions, be unsure about their statements, etc. meanwhile everyone else are well aware about the subject, so they will notice all the inaccuracy. just let arana assume! let her make as many wrong statements as possible, but end up being sure about one thing: rana is still dear to her no matter what. perhaps she doesnt fully realize the value of this connection, but this is not important. despite aranara being largely focused on memories, arana lives the current moment, and that may be why she rejected on becoming vasara tree, to live freely and feel this current moment. i went kinda philosophical about this, but thats a necessary part. this is basically what i want to say with this, a moral of the story. sure thing the past may be dear to you, but you will never have an opportunity go back there, doomed to stay in the present. however, its up to you what you want this present to be, to make it a precious past one day.

lmao this is literally where i might end playing role of arana for making the most philosophically filled comic of all i ever made. only have to compose it well now, which is even harder than this brainstorming to me, so now i retreat and start making the idea alive, because all the previous steps are completed.

[ourimpavidheroine]

hi! sorry if you’ve answered this recently but are you working on any more fics in the LOKverse currently? hope you’re well!

I haven't answered this. I haven't written in months, and I really miss it.

I think a combination of pandemic and a lot of stress about my current housing situation and the rising costs of everything contributed a lot to that. Like most of us, I think! This culminated in a leak in my kitchen pipes this month - causing a fair amount of damage - which means my son and I have to move to a new flat in January. Which does mean more chaos in the near future, but it's a good thing, in the long run. The new flat has just been completely renovated - new floors, appliances, walls, plumbing, etc. - and is in a much nicer building and much more convenient in terms of location. (The bus stop is right out the front door! The health center is on the bottom floor of our building! The shops/pharmacy are literally a minute's walk away!) And because the leak was not our fault, the property manager is going to pay for the movers. But the packing! Oh god! The packing! There is no executive functioning in this house, it will be interesting. (That's my polite way of saying OH DEAR GOD SOMEONE HELP US.) But once it is all done I think it's going to be a really good thing, for both of us. And hopefully it will do good things for our collective mental health. Which will allow me to sit down and start really writing again.

I know hardly anybody is reading those LOKverse stories at all - especially when I get into the second generation - but since I wrote them for myself that never mattered all that much to me, if I am honest. I do have, in the works, a chaptered story from Wu's POV about Izumi's birthday and abdication and Juziya's ascendance to the throne (set around 190, when Sayuri is not quite two and Naoki has just turned sixteen) which will have all the usual suspects and promises the usual that you get from me. @marezelle is doing the Beta for me but so far there isn't much for them to do. It does have a title, though! And two chapters! The Sun Is In The Western Sky; Or the Coronation of Firelord Juziya. There, you see!

I also have, and do not laugh, the final chapter from last year's advent collection, which was "Kissing" and was going to be something short with Jai and Poppy but has turned into something much longer (shocking, I know, I know) and which is absolutely K18. And does not belong in that collection any longer. If I do finish it I will stick it in my NSFW collection and just call the advent collection done at day 30.

I also have a story percolating in my head about Little Avatar Bo going to meet the Earth Queen. Oh yes, haven't I mentioned? There's an Earth Queen (who is really only the Queen of the nation of Ba Sing Se at this point). That one would very much like to be written and is not listening to me when I have tried to explain that I must pack up this flat. No, not after I have finished writing you. Now.

So, the answer is yes!

And, because you asked so nicely, here's the beginning paragraphs of the new Wu story. Under the cut for those of you who don't want to see them. Subject to change, obviously.

Republic City (en route to Hari Bulkan)

Midsummer, Dragon Month, 9th Day, 190 AG

I must tell you, Progeny, that things were simpler when there were only three children and one spouse to prepare for royal occasions. To whit: preparing all four of my children plus both of my spouses to attend Firelord Izumi’s eightieth birthday celebration, where she will officially abdicate her throne to her granddaughter and heir, Crown Princess Juziya. Who will then, of course, be crowned.

I have known of it for quite some time; Juziya wrote Qi about it last year and Qi mentioned it to me. I say mentioned it to me because I am not privy to Qi and Juziya’s correspondence. They struck up a rather unheralded friendship four years ago when we all went to Ember Island for the New Year by Izumi’s request; Juziya attended our wedding (and I cannot even speak of what that abominable creature Bob did to her, I am quite sure I will never recover, wars have been fought over for less) and she and Qi have corresponded frequently ever since. I attempted to remonstrate with Qi that said correspondence should be preserved and collated for archival purposes - a Crown Princess and Royal Consort! - but Qi told me, and I quote, “They aren’t for you, so quit trying to get your grubby little hands on them.”

GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS!

Do not blame me if you are unable to read what I am certain is historically pertinent, Progeny. My grubby hands and I are willing to suffer any and all insults for the sake of history but Qi quite refuses to budge. Nothing moved them. Perhaps I can bring it up with Juziya. I am certain at least she will understand the imperative of preservation.

We are not the only ones going. Izumi extended the invitation to Tenzin and Su Beifong and their families as well, and of course Lin, although she will be coming with us. We will be taking the Republic City Beifongs with us, especially since I commissioned a new airship as soon as we got our official invitation. It was not out of the blue; I have always been very happy with the one Asami gave me all those years ago but I have known for some time it was simply too small to comfortably accommodate all of us, especially since we often include the family here in town. I of course know next to nothing about the specifications of airships but Qi and Captain Orino met with Asami and talked shop (as Qi always puts it) and Asami made one exclusively for us, which included enough deck space to facilitate various air bison and one very large (and opinionated) gold dragon. (I had thought a swimming pool would be a particularly enjoyable touch but was informed that it was a poor idea for an airship. All I have to say about that is that I am entirely certain they would have made it work if it had been my late and not remotely lamented Great-Aunt asking.) Naturally once it was finished I took charge and had it appropriately furnished, with staterooms for the entire family as well any guests we might be taking about. I have also hired both a permanent chef and steward to coordinate the temporary staff that my PR firm supplies us for our journeys. (Mako felt perfectly free to ask me if I was also going to hire a cruise director which I did not find particularly hilarious, thank you very kindly. As if a permanent chef and steward for one’s airship is somehow extraordinary! What are we to eat while we are traveling, Flameo Instant Noodles? Ridiculous. Are we to be the ones directing the temporary staff in setting our tables and making our beds? Simply absurd. Everyone knows that a steward on an airship is an eminently practical thing to have, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before.)

[darkkitty1208]

Hullo. Welcome.

I've been thinking of doing a pinned post for a while now but never got the chance to (read: I thought about it, procrastinated, and then forgot), so... yeah. It must be weird for my long-time followers to suddenly see a "Hey there! Welcome to my little corner of the internet!" post but, here we are. A couple years late, too. Anyway.

I'm Kitty. I go by she/they. I'm a fanfiction author. All my works are posted on my ao3.

This blog is for me to share my writing, interests, and/or other hobbies. Feel free to drop an ask or slide in my messages if you fancy a little chat -- I don't bite. :)

My current fandom focus is the MCU, mainly anything about Stephen Strange, but I tend to shift through different fandoms like BBC Sherlock and the lot. I'll do you a favour and not list them all here because, well, in that case, it'll be practically endless.

I used to post incorrect quotes, but not so much nowadays. If at all. Ah, also, fair warning: I generally do not tag any of my reblogs and could go on reblog sprees from time to time, or be inactive for days on end. There is no in-between.

This is my own space and I have the right to express myself and my opinions freely here, although I will rarely engage in anything with heavy discourse/debate and the sort. But I am always open to them if anyone's interested. Just don't ask for trouble.

More details regarding my blog under the cut.

Tags

Despite the messiness of my blog, I do, in fact, use some tags for my own posts. Surprise, surprise.

I use #my writing for all fics I've written,

#incorrect quotes for, well, my incorrect quotes,

#ask for basically all the asks I've answered,

#personal when I'm sharing something about myself or how I'm doing,

#ramblings for random thoughts or things in my head I decided are worth writing in my blog,

Occasionally #writing when I share (hopefully) relatable stuff about writing or when I'm sharing my experience in writing, and

#kitty makes up scenarios for when I share thoughts and scenarios about fictional characters and will likely not write about them.

Prompts

If you're wondering whether I'm open to prompts or not, currently I am back to receiving prompts. This will update from time to time.

You can send them in my ask box. :)

Here are a couple of things I'd like to emphasise for those interested:

I am not a fast writer. I will not respond to your prompt immediately. It could take me weeks, months, and maybe even longer to get to you.

I would prefer if you'd leave some space in the prompt for creative liberties and not put in too much detail. (You might as well write it your own if you want it in a very specific way.)

Don't pressure me into doing your prompt. Please keep in mind that I can and will send it back/refuse to write it if the prompt you send isn't doable to me for one reason or another.

I can be sensitive to some topics like alcoholism, physical/domestic abuse, etc. but it is negotiable so long as it isn't heavy on the topic. Just send me a DM to discuss.

It comes without saying, but underage and sexual abuse is a definite no.

Physical de-aging is OK, but I won't do ageplay or age regression -- whether it's sexual or not.

Yes, I am open to writing NSFW but please, for the love of god and all that is holy, do not send me anything about mpreg or genderbending. Or anything too... weird, for that matter.

In case a clarification is needed: yes, hurt/no comfort or even MCD fics are definitely OK. Yes, yes, yes, 100%.

Yes, I ship. My ships include IronStrange, Frostrange, Wongrange, Strordo, Johnlock, and am open to other ships if you wish so. Again it is negotiable and I am flexible regarding this.

Genfics are 100% OK, too.

If I happen to reblog/participate in an event with a prompt set, I am usually alright with receiving requests about them.

Unquestionable, but, prompts from other posts/not an original prompt you made is, of course, welcome.

I don't write/read x reader or reader insert. I don't read/write x OC, either. Sorry.

I do not write "Not [X] Friendly" fics. I do not like character bashing.

The rules may update from time to time. Please check them before sending requests.

Last updated 12/10/23

My preferences

I'm not exactly that picky of a person, but I do have preferences when it comes to reading and/or writing. And I would greatly appreciate if you'd take them into consideration, as I want to enjoy doing requests as much as you do when reading it.

I tend to prefer Hurt!Stephen or Whumpee!Stephen in h/c or whump scenarios, but I am not opposed to writing him being a caretaker. In the Sherlock fandom I prefer Hurt!Sherlock but, again, totally open to otherwise.

I love a lot of various tropes and things but am practically obsessed with whump and hurt/comfort. Angst is another one I absolutely love. I write fluff as well, but it usually requires a certain mood, so fluffy prompts might be replied to later than whumpy/angsty ones.

Most of my works are IronStrange but I love Wongrange just as much, if not more. Other ships are, again, totally alright. Although I am not very fond of these ships in particular: SpideyStrange, ScarletStrange, and x reader.

Other things

Be reminded that I am an amateur author and a human, so, despite me not being averse to 'constructive criticism', it'd be appreciated if you would kindly hold your opinions to yourself instead of sending hate asks/comments -- unless you can say them without being rude. Both explicitly and non-explicitly. I am not confident with my writing (as I should be, haha), and doing so will just discourage me further.

I post from a lot of fandoms. This is not an IronStrange-exclusive blog. Filter tags if and when necessary.

Minors are allowed to follow as I do not post anything too explicit; at least without tagging them. They would be tagged #tw suggestive or #tw explicit. I do however advise you to beware as I can be... a little bit... unhinged, sometimes.

Ask me if you want to translate/post my works to other platforms. You must have my written permission.

If you disagree with me (e.g. you characterise/see/view [Character A] as ... but I write them as ...), please keep in mind that all of this is fiction and everyone is allowed to have their own opinions. But well, feel free to discuss with me if you'd like.

Please don't hesitate if you have any questions! ^-^

I thiiiiink that sums up pretty much everything. If you've read this far, thanks for letting me waste your time!

Much love! Cheers! xoxo

- Kitty

[sweetmoonstorm]

HELLOO!! I saw that your requests were open so I wanted to request something for Ninjago!!

Basically a hc where the ninja see the reader as their baby sibling (so obviously platonic) and they would do anything for them and protect them on missions or if they got in trouble with others! Just some sibling fluff because we are in need of this stuff!

Hopefully that made sense and hopefully you're having a WONDERFUL day! Thank you❤️

Yw + Ty!! <33

There r gonna be spoilers for certain seasons in this-

So Basically for hcs with a reader that is viewed as a lil sib to ninjas.

You will definitely be treated like a child/baby.

This is just assuming you're one of the youngest in the ninja group, (including Lloyd), or you're a bit childish, whatever it would take for the ninja to view you as a younger sib.

Most likely, you're very close with them, or at least most of them, and know lots about them, and they know lots about you!

That being said....

There most definitely will be light hearted teasing/joking about you being 'the youngest' of the group no matter your age, and that may be annoying at times.

If you dislike the teasing/jokes though, they'll (tro to) stop.

So, into the ninjas relationships with you.(Lloyd, Kai, Cole, Zane, and Jay, including Nya)

Zane

Personally a fav of mine, Zane is really the guy to go to when you need help in the brains department.

He's also an excellent cook, who'd be willing to give the youngest sib something to eat whenever you're hungry.

I see Zane as the one who's although not the best at understanding emotion, will try to comfort you if you get upset or annoyed by one of your other brothers/sister, or are just having a bad day in general.

"Stay Calm y/n. Good things come to people who are able to stay calm."

"...you got that from Master Wu, right?"

"Yes, I did. Did it make you feel better?"

"...Sorta. Thanks Zane."

"I am here anytime you would like to talk, little sibling."

Allow me to add-

Even if you get scolded for getting into trouble, Zane will have this kinda look towards you that's like :

'That was very brave of you, y/n', or 'Good job defending yourself.'

He'll probs talk to u abt the event after it happens too just bc-

Jay

So we got the master of lightning.

If you're the type to tease, then here's the guy-

Aside from Lloyd, Jay's the only one who's ' element' isn't actually an element-

Cue you messing around with him and playfully joking abt his element.

Now if your element isn't actually an element either, well be prepared-

For more fluff stuff, Jay and you will probably compete against each other along with the other ninja, or maybe he's just gonna pester ya while you're doing something.

For the whole when he gets the hots for Nya, Jay may or may not ask for dating advice. Depending on how your love life is n stuff.

Now according to generic protection, Jay will try n seem a bit tough, beat up the evil with his nunchucks, y'know?

Keep the youngest safe (not that it really matters how old you are, you're gonna be the youngest to the master of lightning-)

Cole

Now, I feel you'd get along best if your element had something to do with earth, or you're just a nature enjoyer in general.

But for the general subjects.

Personally, I'm able to imagine Cole as like, the older brother who didn't realize what was going on, though that role may fit Kai or Lloyd better.

He and you may have disputes at times, along with Jay, but y'all get along in general.

And while I didn't really talk about this in the Jay section, when the time comes to where they're arguing over Nya, you could just be a lil sneaky and tell Nya legit all about their arguments over her as a youngest sibling would,

Or you could ignite the arguments a lil more, or who knows??

It's really up to you-

During battle, Cole will act similar to Jay, tryna show off some, but he may check on you a bit more often, quick glances to make sure you haven't run off to fight an enemy in Narnia or some bullsh-

Kai

Ima just jump to the protection start bc I've got more ideas for this fiery boi-

Seeing as Kai's lil sis, Nya, is also in the group, he'd probably be the most protective out of them all.

While all the Ninja care about you, Kai's the one who actually has experience with his lil sis Nya, and likely knows the best ways to make sure you don't get yourself into trouble.

Tbh, he'd probably treat you the same way he treats Nya.

Telling you to 'stay back so you don't get hurt', or to just don't do stuff that'll get you hurt, making sure you're alright, getting defensive over you when the others start arguments, etc.

It does NOT matter what role you play or how good/bad you are in battle, Kai's gonna treat you like his bio lil sib

Well, i suppose that would depend on how long he'd known you, but, stillll

That would actually prob be the main reason he argues with you.

Despite wanting you to be safe, along with Nya, Kai still has that fiery personality of his, to match with his element.

But for general, Kai can be a fun guy to be around!

Kai would like it if you got along with Nya too.

Not only would he get an additional lil sib, said sib gets along with his bio sib! Win-Win!

Lloyd

Ok so

This one is the youngest if we ignore the part where you're seen as the youngest sib/are the youngest.

Since he never actually 'grew up', and had to deal with some sorta potion that deals with ages(it's froma certain episode I don't exactly remember) I feel Lloyd would be more... Eh, awkward.

Assuming you were with the ninja from the beginning, Lloyd joined in later on, and it'd probably feel weird to him seeing he can now refer to you as 'lil sib'.

Maybe you'd be the one that got him back into mischief making.

Not too far to the point where y'all end up summoning even more legendary tribes, but harmless pranks and such.

Or you'd be able to help him adjust to life as a grownup! Who knows?

Lloyd, I feel would be one who tries to deal with things more... Idk, his way.

When protecting you, the amount of power that goes into his attacks depends on the level of danger, but the main priority is to keep everyone safe, which includes you.

Seeing as the ninja often made him stay behind on missions when he was still a kid, I think Lloyd would sympathize more with you on the whole having to stay behind bc "mission to dangerous for lil sib" thing.

Nya

This gonna be a lil shorter-

Will sympathize with you as well in the whole having to stay behind missions thing.

(Og Ninjago fans will remember what she did in s1 during that whole samurai thing)

During that time period, she'll maybe help you w your own contraption so that you can do missions as well.

Oho but during the part she found out she got her mom's powers?

She bout to go ham on those tryna hurt her lil sib ':)

And that's all I got. I hope this is likeable, and I apologize for this being rather very long anon!

-SMS

(new signature)

[dawnstarranger]

@imperial--orthodoxy

…I did this to myself, so here we go lmao

(Im on mobile so the formatting will suck. I make no apologies lmao. I had to close out of the screen a bunch so I saved as a draft rather than trying to reply to your ask.)

1. Nope! I try not to dwell on it though.

2. Also no?

3. Statistically probably, but not everyone lucks out.

4. Not really.

5. Nope, found family counts too.

6. Yes. Friends are important!

7. I am!

8. I think it’s the same emotion, it just manifests differently.

9. Not as happy, but people do live fulfilling lives without finding romance.

10. Yes.

11. Absolutely lmao.

12. I don’t think so?

13. I don’t disbelieve in it, if that makes sense.

14. I mean, if reincarnation is how it goes, that’s just the way she goes.

15. Cosmically special, no. Special to friends and family on the micro level, yea.

16. Yeah. But debate for the sake of your own understanding. You’re never going to convince everyone else to see things your way, so don’t expect to change minds.

17. Can favorite characters be like imaginary friends?

18. I say no to this because I’m not involved in anything organized and am not looking to be. Insert “the gods are names for what’s already in your heart” here :)

19. I don’t, but I feel like it’s one of those things that if life leads me to change my mind, I change my mind.

20. Isn’t that just life?

21. I mean yeah? Different circumstances would have probably led to me finding love with someone else. I don’t think it’s healthy for current relationships to dwell on “well, what if…” for too long, though.

22. So previously I would have said a loooong fucking time. However, I knew I was with the right person in a matter of about a month, so I guess when it’s right, it’s right?

23. I think it takes a very special relationship to survive when there is no “convenience.” Yes, yes, love is magical and can transcend barriers and whatnot, but long-term I think the simple things like being able to tolerate living together matter a lot, maybe not to the emotion of love, but to the act of it.

24. I think so lol.

25. Probs not as fluid as if I were gen z, but people are people and love is love.

26. Going to college and pursuing what I’m passionate about.

27. I’m a little afraid of losing out on things I want to do, but not especially.

28. Based on family history I will definitely live for at least a century lol. Would not want to live forever though. Maybe it would be cool to have an elven lifespan, complete with slow aging?

29. Yep.

30. I like to believe in free will, at least to an extent. Such as life is, we usually aren’t as free in our choices as we think, or wish, that we were.

31. I’ve survived my mental illnesses so far, so with that off the table I have no idea lol.

32. Ummmm no. If I had a dollar for every time someone asks me this after I tell them I study astronomy…

33. I really don’t think adulthood kicks in until 25ish.

34. By drow standards yes :)

35. A million dollars

36. I married that person and we either get along perfectly or literally not at all.

37. In some things, yes.

38. Absolutely not and I’m glad of it.

39. Sure. Kind of. Maybe.

40. Trying to do what you sincerely believe is good, as long as you’re reducing harm to others. I try my best.

41. Being independent and pursuing what I care about.

42. Kind of, yeah. Most of us are pretty boxed in by various limitations.

43. I used to be much more artistic than I am now. I’m no art major, so I’ll leave the definition to the experts here.

44. I’m generally truthful. Sometimes people don’t need to know your business.

45. Hopefully I’ll be remembered for groundbreaking research one day.

46. Probably not.

47. Suffering is part of the human condition, so yeah. It doesn’t have special meaning, life is just hard and arbitrary sometimes.

48. Insert “there is no freedom, there is only survival” here. Freedom is relative and somewhat up to how you define it.

49. Yes.

50. Honesty, loyalty, and a willingness to tolerate my bullshit.

51. I really don’t know. Probably a few on this list would be good contenders.

52. I’m sure I have inherited beliefs just like anyone else. I try to be able to justify what I think, at least to myself. Should I get really cringe and add “little of what I say or do is opinion”?

53. Could be any of them. I’m not an expert on plenty of things, and I tell to take the approach of time and experience will tell in the end.

54. I don’t think so, not at present, anyway. As a physicist I’d obviously like to, though!

55. I suppose? But that does open the door to the whole “what counts as consciousness” and can AI ever get there and what about really smart animals etc etc etc

56. Useful, inevitable, and very dangerous to society.

57. Yes, and yes, but I think it’s part of what makes us human, and it isn’t a bad thing.

58. Statistically yeah? Probably? But that shouldn’t stop us from continuing to create art.

59. AI generated 15 second clips of remixes lol

60. At the moment we seem to be bringing back the ‘00s, who knows what’s next?

61. Everyone thinks they’re living through hard times. With that said, I do think technology plays a role in how crazy the modern day feels compared to times previous.

62. No and fuck no. I don’t like actual current me enough to want to deal with a clone.

63. I’m not, but fake it till you make it, amiright?

64. Not remotely.

65. Honestly I don’t know. There’s an argument to be made for raising the voting age, but also I don’t think that younger adults are voting “stupidly” more than much older adults.

66. It’s destructive and petty and unfortunately for the world I am a destructive and petty little bitch.

67. A Karen :)

68. I like it fine.

69. If you’re really truly in love with someone (assuming monogamy here) I think part of that entails respecting the other person enough not to dwell on crushes to the point that they get that far. Sometimes it happens, but I don’t think it plays out as nicely as it does in the movies.

70. Bruh, I’m alive. That’s the tragedy.

71. I wouldn’t go see it.

72. Uhhhhhh well, we prosecuted nazis who were acting with the full support of their own laws, so in some cases yes. Maybe just as importantly, we should pardon and rehabilitate people who were arrested for things that have since been decriminalized.

73. To defend it, yes. I live here whether I like it or not.

74. Yes. I do think it’s an important goal.

75. Yes, I think the consequences for not taking care of others is higher than many people like to admit.

76. I crave positive academic feedback and the warm fuzzy feeling I get when my grades are high.

77. Ask Shakespeare.

78. Idk but your mom said I was satisfying ;)

79. I listen to whatever, usually not dependent on mood.

80. I listen to whatever I happen to feel like. I’m not a big mood listener.

81. No can do, am already tied down.

82. Lmao probs not

83. Uhh maybe? I’m happy to do my thing from earth, but the temptation is there. #rememberthecant

84. Binch I don’t have the first clue who people think I am. I don’t even know who I think I am half the time.

85. “Would I be happier if I was born into a perfect and advantageous body instead of the one I’m in” yeah duh, but I still wouldn’t want to flip a switch and change like that.

86. All of them:)

87. Not as easily as in years past.

88. Im definitely more on the jealous side.

89. Maybe some of the same core traits, but I’d be so different without my memories that I don’t know if it matters.

90. That’s a 50/50 question. Some days yes, some days no.

91. Absolutely, and I fucking hate [REDACTED], obviously

92. I’m working on a German minor but I am NOT fluent at all

93. I don’t draw meaning from them, but I do tend to have vivid dreams. Sometimes they’re like a nice little vacation :) sometimes they’re fucked up tho

94. Consistently

95. Really depends. I feel like if it’s unrequited, you aren’t able to get to know that other person on the level it takes to create genuine, long-lasting love. You’re in love with the idea of them more than with the actual person.

96. Again, I can’t read minds so I literally don’t know lol

97. Yes

98. All the time, but I think a lot of people feel that way on some level

99. Not especially. I think there are things we can’t yet explain and may never fully explain, but I don’t believe in magic per se.

100. You only get so many good rolls per dice per dnd session, and you should try not to use them up on stupid shit (this belief is nothing but logical)

[otakween]

Head Start at Birth - Chapters 1-10

This one popped up on MAL suddenly because the JP title begins with a "0." Always excited to read/watch something new for a change, but this looks kinda bottom tier. Not only is it an incredibly generic plot, but its adaptation is a short episodes anime 😬

ALSO, this manga is being sold in the west as chapters and in the Webtoon style? I'm old school and kinda hate this. Why can't I just buy volumes?

Ch. 1

Oof this is so generic. I'm trying to give it a chance but the cliches are too much. The art is...fine but not very memorable. At least it's in color.

The mom got over her 3 year old making land management recommendations waaaay too quickly.

>_> Is that much older looking dude the love interest? I'm gonna throw up.

Lilia was 30 when she got isekai'd so I guess I'm supposed to be the target audience here? I feel like if I was in her position I wouldn't be like "YEAH, LET'S LEVEL UP!" I'd be like "YEAH! A CHANCE TO BE A KID AGAIN AND GOOF OFF!"

I feel like they vaguely implied that the mom is an evil capitalist (monarchist?) since she won't give people tax relief. That could be something interesting to explore...

Ch. 2

Reslar (the dragon) sounds suspiciously close to Rizzler lol

They introduce 3 age appropriate boys and then she immediately falls for the older guy. I get that she has the mind of a 30 year old but it's still weird. They'll probably go the "he waits until she's older" route. Whatever -_-

I was pleased that Lilia's parents stayed on her side as she was slightly rude to the royals. Their loyalties are in the right place at least.

Why does every shoujo isekai gotta be fixated on otome games and villainesses? It's honestly so bizarre how keyword obsessed media is these days...

Ch. 3

Yeah so, this is a romance isekai where the MC is 5 and the love interest is 15 🙄 I get that it's kinda based on the olden days when engagements like that were normal due to political marriages, but still. We don't really need to be romanticizing this stuff nowadays, right? Especially when it's a fantasy world where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Oh well.

This situation reminds me of The Familiar of Zero when Louise had a much older fiancé. Although in that series I think it was kind of portrayed as a little creepy/unsettling. Wow never thought I'd be praising The Familiar of Zero as a more progressive option 😅

I do appreciate that the dad (Guy) is ride or die for his daughter, but the joke about him thinking she'd been raped was a little tasteless.

We have yet to see what the plot of this series is going to be. Is it going to follow the romance angle mainly or is it going to be more about Lilia's personal development?

Ch. 4

Lilia's mom looks a lot like she stepped out of Umineko no Naku Koro ni. It's probably just the cravat lol.

We learn about Elrich's tragic backstory (his parents were executed for treason). Unfortunately, it didn't really make him a more interesting character. I had hoped he'd have at least some sort of reaction to the engagement but he's pretty much just "bland perfect husbando" so far.

The sex fantasy was something I could have lived without. Straight to jail.

Hopefully we can get an Elrich chapter here and there to flesh him out. I don't care how much he looks like Lilia's fave otome game character.

Ch. 5

I was wary of the parents at first, but they seem to actually be really good parents? Also, Lilia's mom is super politically smart too (girl boss lol). I guess the doting dad thing is basically just a stock character, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Glad the spirits get to show some actually emotion for once (well, Reslar does anyways).

I do like that Lilia is more focused on her ambitions than Elrich. She just happens to also be really horny for Elrich lol (I'm sorry...that's how it's portrayed).

Ch. 6

Okay, I'm kinda getting into this >_> it's just shoujo isekai brain rot basically but the art is so cute and it's been a long time since I've read a manga in full color

Dressing in your fiancé's color is so romantic ;w; (although I guess people don't always have signature colors irl lol).

The dynamic between mom and Lilia both being badass boss babes gives me Yor/Anya vibes because of the ages haha.

That gothic look with the princess curls was serving (werk)

Ch. 7

Urgh my anime arch nemesis appears...head pats. I don't think they're cute at all, I think they're weird and demeaning. (Even if I was 5 years old I think I'd be like "get your hand off my head" lol). I still don't know if this is a thing Japanese people do IRL or not.

Lillia being instantly OP at everything she tries is pretty boring, this manga could use more conflict right about now.

Ch. 8

I like the princes' names (Isaac, Leonard, and Ferdinand). IDK if it would be better or worse if Lilia went for one of them instead. You can't win with rebirth scenarios lol

Ch. 9

Wtf, the spirits get ikemen versions? I can get on board with that actually. Some of my OCs are fantasy creatures with human versions actually...

"This is like having a sister" (file under: objectively weird things to say about your fiancé)

I can relate to Lilia's inability to relax. Productivity is fun to me 😅

Ch. 10

Still no ikemen Reslar, I'm surprised by the mangaka's restraint lol.

Wait how did people even learn about Lilia's dissertation? I thought they were keeping it on the down low.

The hedgehog spirit was cute. I'm glad they spared it lol

Lilia's spirits are just as OP as her of course -_- -yawn-

Well this was pretty forgettable, but it's a fluffy popcorn kinda read, so I'm not complaining. It's a bit unnerving having no idea how long a series will stretch to in these early stages. Hopefully this isn't a 100+ chapters one...

[umichenginabroad]

Week 4 - Planning and Preparing: the underbelly of studying abroad

G’day everyone!

This week's blog is a bit different than the previous few for a couple of reasons. Firstly, this week was relatively uneventful, but I will give it a recap. Secondly, this blog is meant to give an all-encompassing view into the studying abroad experience, and this week I’d like to dedicate most of this blog to some of the less glamourous aspects of being out here.

So most of this week was a scramble to confront our mounting school work and the pressure to find a place to live for next week. We attended three different “inspections”, essentially open houses. I became a member of the State Library of New South Wales which has some of the best study spots in the city. 

This Friday was Australia Day, which is the more controversial version of Independence Day for the States. We relaxed on the beach for most of the day and that night we met up with some of the friends we met at surf camp. They led us to the harbor, where the opera house was lit up with a mixture of patriotic and aboriginal images. 

The next day was spent surfing and reading at Bondi Beach.

We finished our day taking Anika Satish up on her local food recommendation at this delicious Italian place called The Corner House.

Now for the less glamorous aspects:

Housing

We went a more unconventional route when it came to finding our housing. Many abroad students opt into the student housing complexes, FYI most on-campus accommodations are filled up before you can apply and there are few abroad students living in anyways. However, by the time we were looking for housing, most of the accommodation options that kept my friend and I together were either too expensive to justify or too far from the areas we wanted to be, namely the beaches near Coogee and Bondi. 

During our initial search, we met three girls whom we knew through friends and so two became five, but still no place made sense. We explored the prominent Australian real estate sites domain.com.au and realestate.com.au but quickly discovered we would have to be in person to inspect the property and have an Australian bank account before we could submit an application for a lease. 

So, a little out of desperation, we turned to Airbnb for housing, it was slightly pricier but our only viable option while we searched from the states. We found a 3-bedroom apartment near Coogee that would house us from the 4th of January to the 1st of February. We spent the first few nights in a hostel while our Airbnb was opening up.

And now to the stressful exciting part, it is January 28th at the time of writing this blog and we still don’t know where we are going on the night of the 1st. This past week has been filled with three inspections and two lease applications, both places being in ideal locations and at a very reasonable price. That being said, in many ways, we are going in blind. Who knows what documents the Australian housing market favors over others in leasing applications or even what chance we have in general because on paper we’re five barely adult-aged students getting funded primarily by our parents from a foreign country. I know I wouldn’t accept me…

But anyway, I’ll know one way or the other by next Sunday (hopefully sooner). One piece of legal guidance that has been invaluable in our search: it is Australian law that a renter can terminate a lease no matter what and if they fulfilled at least half of their time then the only penalty is two weeks of rent. This is relevant because most leases here are at a minimum 6 months long and we have a little less than 4 months left in our Australian adventure.

And for practical advice, talk to the realtors that are representing these places, they have been across the board open with their advice and generous with their guidance. 

Budgeting

The three things you aren’t supposed to bring up at a dinner table are Religion, Politics, and Money, well the first two can wait for later blogs… but this next part is concerned with everything financial. The bits I wish I knew before coming.  

I underestimated just how quickly costs would accumulate and how unsustainable the first few weeks would be financially. Below is the financial sheet provided by IPE for budgeting this program.

These estimates are pretty good but there are a few areas I’d like to dig into and update based on my experience so far.

If the “figure it out as you go” approach to housing appeals to you then you could be saving up to a couple thousand dollars. Our first month at this Airbnb plus the few days of hostels were $1450 + $150 and then assuming we get one of the two places we’ve applied to then it would be around $4000 for the remainder of our trip so the rough total comes out to $5600. 

The Meals and Personal Expenses sections are highly personal but I’ll give my breakdown. For food, I’m personally spending around $250/300 a month on groceries and also spending around $80 a week on eating out or $360 a month. This comes out to somewhere between $2750 to $3000 for the time I’m here. Another item that deserves a separate column in your budget sheet that I didn’t consider was alcohol. In Australia, it is one of the highest-taxed commodities which translates to ridiculously expensive drinks when going out. If you do plan on drinking I highly recommend buying alcohol at Aldi’s or BWS which we’ve found to have the most reasonable prices. In dollar terms, it comes out to $160 a month or around 700$ for the duration of my time here. 

For personal expenses, it is again very personal but there are several things that I wanted to highlight. I’m recently scuba certified so boat dives, shore dives, and more certifications can quickly add up. I’m budgeting around $1500 for the total expenses related to scuba diving and another $500 for expenses related to surfing. Disclaimer: when it comes to buying scuba gear, a surfboard, and most things honestly, Facebook Marketplace is your best pal, you can also sell back the items at the end of the semester. 

And then finally I would budget at least $2000 for day, weekend, and week trips while you’re here. When will you be on this side of the world again??… it's what I told my parents at least. The academic schedule for UNSW has three separate weeks off during your time here, all great opportunities to explore the rest of Australia, New Zealand, and even Southeast Asia (probably the cheapest option of the three). 

My total personal budget sheet is closer to $30k once trips and scuba adventures are factored in. Overall, there are many ways to be frugal here without compromising your experience, such as buying flights far in advance or building a trip around the cheapest flights you can find, camping rather than staying in hotels (when you can), pregaming a night out, and reselling bulky semester-use items. I’m sure there are more but I hope some of this helps.  

Cheers mates!

Grant Touchette

Aerospace Engineering

University of New South Wales

Sydney, Australia

[writingforatwistedworld]

Dear Jalim,

please forgive my lack of courage to be unable to say this to you face to face. I always liked spending time with you and Kalim, but our deep conversations about this world and Scarabia were by far my favorite. I have always admire your dutifulness and intelligence, you seem to always be one step ahead of everyone. But what I love most is your caring and humble nature, you were so kind and patient with me when I've just arrived and made mistakes after mistakes. Truly I'm grateful for your help....But recently I've began feeling weird around you, at first I thought it was nothing but friendship but as the days passed and those feelings only grew and grew.

I had to face the truth. I do not like you simply as a friend nor as family. I love you. Like two people love each other and want to marry and spend the rest of their life together. I want to be close to you, closer than Kalim or anyone. I want to hold you and embrace you and do all those littles things couple so often do.

I know it's bold of me to make this confession to you like this while you are always so busy. I'm sorry and please do not be worry about me, a simple "No" from you and I will never bring it up ever again. I simply hope you like me enough to respond to this letter.

Waiting hopefully,

Reader

This sounds like the reader is in TWST already, right? I'll go with that...

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, imprisonment, unhealthy relationship, manipulation, marriage

Jamil Viper-A simple servant

Sitting in your dorm you watched a drop of water land in one of the buckets standing on the floor. Just a hour ago it had stopped raining and it seemed like there was a accident with the roof of your room which was why help if the room looked like Azul and the tweels decided to turn it into a recreation of their home. But at the end, thanks to that you beard the knocking on the door. Opening it you were greeted with the face of the vice dorm leader of Scarabia. Handing you a letter he excused himself and walked away. After closing the door you sat down once more and started to read.

Dear prefect of the Rhamshackle dorm,

it is rather unusual for me to get letters addressed to me directly. Usually they are for Kalim or directed towards all the servants the Al-Asim family has. It is a rather curious feeling when you see your name written by someone else on a envelope but I am sure that it is a positive one.

I was not prepared for this letter to be a confession. I am busy most of the time and thought that you didn't take notice of me when I was serving you and Kalim. I am nothing but a humble servant and hearing such a thing from someone like you is something I am very thankful for. Although the class system isn't so bad as it was during the era the Sorcerer of the Sands was still alive there are still separations which most of all affects classes not talking with each other and just seeing the existence of the other as something not to be interacted with. So someone like you held in such high regard showing their affection to someone of lower status like me is something most of the time unimaginable. How could I ever say no?

I would hate to turn you down. You have to understand though that even if we were to enter a close relationship there would always be people talking about us and how we do not match, especially the older generation. If you were not to mind that then I would be more than happy to accept your confession.

There are some things you have to accept though. I would hate for our happy relationship to crash down after all. Do not leave my side as long as it's possible and do not leave your home once we leave the school. I do not wish to turn you into a stay-at-home partner that is more caretaker and servant than an actual lover but the thought of others seeing you makes me mad. Just imagining them looking you in your eyes makes me want to scratch theirs out. Until now I haven't done that but I doubt that my patience could hold on for too long. Never mind the fact that I would rather serve you than make you believe that you are simply an accessory.

I wish to make you happy but for that to happen you have to listen to me. There are many cultural differences and since you only know the school I would like to avoid you getting into trouble because of not knowing better. Just hold on to me and follow my orders. I'll take care of everything. Just sit back and don't get your hands dirty.

Sincerely,

Jamil Viper

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Looking for a Place to Happen

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), age gap, general stupidity.

This is dark!biker!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Series Synopsis: There’s lots happening in Birch and you find it all too amusing.

Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, Little Bones, and Fully Completely

Note: We’re starting Sam’s installment but this weekend I’ll probably only be catching up on my headcanons and drabbles because I’ve been a lazy bitch and I’m sorry to those who have been waiting.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Chapter 1: I've got a job, I explore

💀💀💀

The sleepy town of Birch was awake. 

In those last weeks, the arrival of outsiders had roused the attention of many once passive residents of the timeless territory. Those brick buildings unchanged by the tick of the clock inlaid into the old tower above the library that chimed every hour on the hour. They still stood with only chips in the mortar but the air tasted different. The frost was more bitter and the sky more grim. An omen of something no one could predict.

It was the perfect setting for a screenplay. The isolated town with its unsavoury secrets and the visitors who threatened to bring them to the surface. It was inspiring to you, to imagine what was hidden behind the stern wrinkled faces of the town elders and under the jackets of those men who wore the cut of the local club. The bikers ruled the town covertly but everyone knew that Bucky Barnes’ palm was lined with the map of Birch.

As a bystander, an unnoticed observer, just another ant in the hill, you watched from the side and amused yourself with the drama of others. It was like a soap opera or another HBO hype machine. Those things you aspired to when you could be free of this ho-hum town.

The snows added to the natural gloom of the place. The deep heaps smothered the noise and harkened back to those days of colonial settlement. Forgotten, desolate, fearful. 

You ventured down in your heavy boots that stretched to your knees and pushed your chin down into your scarf. As a child, you ran and jumped in those piles, now you were out of breath just trying to walk past them.

You stopped in the bakery that doubled as the only café, a place where the owner, Babs, tried to to intimidate the last caffeinated trends. She was always a few seasons behind but you didn’t mind so much. 

You ordered the salted caramel mocha and waited patiently as the quiet woman fought with the steaming machines. She was older than you but you’d work with her for one summer during high school, only five years ago. She had the eyes of a child still, but there was something worn in her. As if she’d been exposed to far too much in her three or so decades in that place. She was a harbinger of what you didn’t want to become.

You thanked her for your drink and set out once more into the billowing winds. Birch winters were never kind but this one was crueler than most. Your teeth chattered as you blew the steam away from the lid and hugged it with your mittened hands.

You stopped short as you heard the familiar ding of the diner door across the street. You recognised the mechanic who kept to herself and once growled at you in the grocery store. She stormed across the street, followed closely and quickly by a black-haired man you’d only seen once before. He was one of those outsiders who came to deal with the club men.

You sped up as you sensed chaos brewing and pulled out your phone as you balanced your paper cup in your other hand. You flicked your camera on just as you got to the front of the shop and the man grabbed the mechanic. You let out an ‘oop’ as she turned on him and you aimed the lens at the couple as they fell into the snow, the man’s shoes giving little traction to his steps. 

You moved closer, stunned by the scene, and kept your cell phone rolling as you found a better angle around the snowy walks. As she choked him on the ground he elbowed her and she coughed as she rolled away. She snarled as he clamoured to his feet, slipping and sliding as he marched away.

You killed the recording and watched the man cross the street again, nearly wiping out as he did and when you looked back to the mechanic, she was gone behind the clattering door. You chuckled to yourself and tucked away your cell. It was prime footage for TikTok; with a bit of editing, it would be comedy gold.

💀

You stomped up the steps of your grandmother’s house, this time through the front door as you heard her chair rocking in the front room. You usually took the stairs in the back as you paid her to live on the upper floor of the duplex. You checked in with her daily, she didn’t get out much more than the occasional trip to the grocery store when you couldn’t or you dragged her out to join you for a tea at Babs’.

“You’re late,” she grumbled as you set your cup down and unzipped your coat.

“For what?” you scoffed.

“It’s after noon and you don’t even come down to say hello? A ‘good morning, nan’,” she harrumphed.

You chuckled and hung your coat before shoving your boots over on the mat. You grabbed your mocha and leaned on the doorway as you watched her crocheting in her chair, reruns of some court show playing from the boxy television.

“I was working,” you said, “sent in some stuff for review. Hopefully not much work to be done.”

“I don’t know how you make money on that interweb,” she bemoaned, “I don’t trust it.”

“Maybe you’d trust it more if you used the Netflix subscription I got you,” you crossed your arms, “then you wouldn’t have to watch trash daytime TV.”

She shrugged and muttered under her breath. She could be crotchety but you liked her sense of humour. Your aunts and uncles never came around because they just took it as spite. You were the only one who knew how to handle the jaded old lady.

“Maybe you coulda looked out the window,” you snickered, “quite a show going on in town.”

“Hmm, what’s that?” she stilled her needles and reached for her tea stained cup.

“Just a fight. You wouldn’t believe it, that lady mechanic beat the shit--”

“Language,” she huffed.

“Anyway, she had this guy in a chokehold. It was awesome.”

“What guy?” she squinted at you over her glasses.

“I dunno. Some out of towner. Remember I told you about that burly dude hanging around the library?”

“There’s more?” she sucked on her teeth, “those bikers have never been good news and now they’re bringing in more.”

“Yeah, well, what’re you gonna do?” you sniffed as you took out your phone and rewatched the scuffle with the volume down. You shook your head and opened up your TikTok. 

“I don’t understand why you’re always on your dang phone,” your grandmother pestered.

“I’m not always on my phone,” you smiled at her smugly, “there are those time when I’m listening to you prattle on or you know, making you tea, oh, and cooking you dinner. What was it I did last week? Oh that’s right, I got Pippin out of the crawlspace.”

“I’m too old to be chasin’ that cat all around,” she huffed, “where is he anyway?”

“He’s your cat, I don’t know? Last time I saw him, I sent him back out the window for shredding my charger.”

“He knows you need to give it a rest,” she laughed to herself, “got your nose to that screen too much.”

“And what do you do, old lady? Crocheting doilies to put where exactly?”

She gave you that dry smile, the one that said watch it but carried a hint of humour still. You hit post and put your phone away as you waved off her irritation.

“Well, you know what, I sit all day at my computer, doing who knows what and you know what it got me?” you taunted, “a large mocha!” you sipped as you sat on the sofa and grabbed the remote, “and it’s paying my rent and putting bullet points on my resume.”

“Mhmm,” she scowled, “just remember, real life ain’t online. Those videos you’re always laughing at like hyena, that’s not reality. You forget it and it’ll come back and bit you. ‘Specially with those bikers.”

“Oh, nan, you know too well, don’t you? Didn’t you have a fling with one back in your hippie phase?”

“Two, actually,” she raised her brows, “I was young and stupid. Not like you, but still.”

“I love you too,” you chirped and sipped from your cup, flicking the station to Jerry Springer, “that’s more like it.”

💀

Your usual TikToks were sarcastic and dull complaints about your small town life. The response was less than pleasing but it gave you an outlet to vent. You liked to goof around and document the very specific type of weirdos that resided in Birch. But the video of the fight in the snow blew up your phone and made it difficult to ignore the buzzing as you went back up to your room to eke out the last of your captions for the ad agency.

When at last you could call your day hard-earned, you logged off and sent in your hours to the agency. Social media promotion was easy enough but the working gigs for a thousand different companies was tedious. You hoped you could build your portfolio enough to manage a single corporate page as you continued to chip away at your creative outlets.

You picked up your phone as you waited for Netflix to load on your tiny smart tv and flopped onto your bed, not two feet from your desk. You hit the icon in the upper panel of your phone and scrolled through the notifications, pausing to turn on another episode of the cable sitcom from ten years before. You snorted as you read each comment but the number under the video made your eyes round. The thing was bound to go viral.

As usual, you went down to help with supper. Pippin, the orange tabby, returned to cry at his dish and you fed him too. Your nan peered through her glasses at a crossword as she tasted the tangy pasta sauce. 

“More basil,” she snipped.

“Well, I asked if you wanted to help,” you muttered, “I think it’s good.”

“Hmmp, I need milk,” she jutted her chin out, “for my after-dinner tea.”

“You couldn’t say something like three hours ago?” you blinked.

“I could have but I didn’t,” she snickered. You rolled your eyes and she took another forkful of penne and filled in another line on her puzzle, “ah, no hurry, girlie, you know I’m patient.”

“Patient? You?” you chuckled as you took your plate and shoved it in the microwave to keep it warm. The ancient thing had a dial and the door stuck, “I’ll just go get it over with.”

“Don’t forget your mitts,” she called after you as you tramped into the front room, “it’s cold.”

You pulled on your knitted cap and matching mitts. You zipped up your parka and shoved your feet into the deep boots. You grabbed your wallet and buried it in the spacious pocket. You bounced out the front door and down the steps as the sky sent down another coat of powder for the night.

You went up White Forge Street and through the short path behind the diner that led to the main road. You glanced over at The Asp, the beacon of the dull town, and turned towards the grocer. Like anywhere in Birch, the store was outdated and stuffy. It felt like stepping into another time with the paper bags and chunky tills.

You went down the center aisle and stopped at the fridge to search through the frosted glass. Your nan only drank whole milk and the last time you carelessly grabbed skim, she whined that even Pippin wouldn’t drink it. She was particular but that was just her nature. You couldn’t say you were any less fussy in some instances.

You grabbed a jug and the door slapped closed against the worn rubber seal. You headed up the candy aisle and brushed your woolly thumb over your chin as you considered gummy bears or Reeses’ Pieces.

“Hard choice?” The deep voice jolted you.

You snatched the box of chocolate and looked over at the man in leather, his chin tucked down behind the collar as snow dusted his shoulders.

“Sure,” you said as you brushed past him.

The cut of the leather told you he was better not entertained. While you thought the men amusing, you weren’t stupid enough to engage with them. You rarely listened to your grandmother but she was wise in her own way. 

You knew a girl in highschool, she was fucking around with one of the club men in her junior year, she ended up with a baby and no support. You didn’t think he was into you that way but he could hardly have innocent intentions.

“How’s the old lady?” Clayton asked as he rung in your order at the end of the belt, you moved along with the groceries and pulled out your wallet.

“The usual, you know? She’s tryna quit again. Don’t know how long it’ll last.”

“Oh yeah? I’ll keep a carton aside for her,” he kidded as you felt your phone vibing in your back pocket.

“Don’t encourage her,” you swiped your card and punched in your pin, “although I don’t know what’s worse; the smoke or her sucking on those mints all the time.”

“Oh, it’s not the bitchin’?” he laughed.

“That, too,” you scooped up the paper bag and put your wallet away, “have a good one.”

As you came to the end of the first counter, you were nearly cut off by the club member as he swept around from till two. His own purchase of a car magazine and jerky was tucked under his arm.

“Ah, sorry,” he smiled, a sparkling smile, almost charming.

“No worries,” you continued on and he followed close behind.

“Those mitts look real warm. ‘Specially in this weather,” he said as you pushed open the door.

“Uh huh,” you kept on as your boots crunched out into the snow.

“You know where I can get a pair. Leather isn’t exactly thermal, you know?”

“These? My nan made ‘em. I’m sure Clayton got some hung up back there,” you looked across the street as you stepped up onto the ledge of snow between the sidewalk and the road.

“Am I bothering you?” he asked.

You looked at him dumbly and almost laughed in his face. You glanced back across the street then down towards The Asp.

“Sorta,” you answered.

“Make you a deal. Leave ya alone for your name.”

You eyed him. He was older than you like many of the Commandos. At least a decade, likely more than that. You chewed on your hesitation and cradled the bag more firmly against your side. His eyes strayed as he tried to see through the thick layer of your coat.

“Nah, I’m not s’posed to talk to strangers,” you said and hopped off onto the road.

You heard him behind you as he struggled to follow and as you came up to the other side, he came parallel with you and kept stride with you easily.

“I know you’re young but you’re not a kid,” he intoned, “what’s the harm in a name?”

“It’s a small town,” you stopped short of the end of White Forge, “I think I know enough about you to avoid you.”

“Oh ho, is that it? Well, I’m Sam, I’m not a stranger now, am I?”

“Not interested, Sam. Sure there’s women your own age over at the bar,” you nodded behind him.

“You wanna come see? Maybe have a drink?” he gave a crooked grin.

“You don’t give up, do you?” you shook your head, put off by his forwardness.

“Well?”

“Not tonight, Sam,” you turned around and headed down White Forge.

“Then what night?” he asked but you didn’t answer and he didn’t follow.

You turned down onto your street and refused to look back in case. It would be best not to mention the run-in to your nan, she was paranoid enough as it was. Besides, you’d forget about it by the end of next week.

[windblooms]

Hi!! Could you do headcanons of Diluc, Kayea, Childe and Zhongli with a s/o who is touch starved but is too shy to intimate physical affection please? Thank you!💙

decided to answer the two of these in the same ask since they have similar personalities for the reader, and they evolved into scenarios.  hopefully what i’ve written is all right!

edit: to the second anon, i’m sorry, i don’t know how people write more than 500 characters in asks. ㅠㅠ  is it maybe a submission . . . ?

childe:

as a very perceptive individual, childe would pick up on your hesitations relatively soon, however won’t say anything about them outright.  

while he may ask you if something’s wrong whenever you reach out, but self-consciously pull away, or when you’re on the verge of words but can’t bring yourself to speak, he won’t pry into your meekness. 

he knows that some people prefer to keep things to themselves or away from others – he’s a prime example of this himself.  so he doesn’t want to push you, but will continue to keep mental tabs on when you shrink away, or backtrack after you sound as if you’re going to ask him something.

if the trend continues for a while, he’ll eventually sit down to talk with you about it.  he’ll discuss with you patiently, not wanting to invade past things you might not want to share just yet, but he still tries to find the cause of your hesitancies so he can better understand you.

“there’s something bothering you, isn’t there?” he leans forward across the table, and rests his chin on his hand.  “you can tell me, you know.  i’ll try and help you with it.”

as you take your time to answer, he grows increasingly concerned, but still wears a poker face to not influence you as well.  across the table, he’ll slowly reach out his hand as a means of comfort, and clasp yours when you don’t pull away.

you begin to speak about your uncertainties, and childe listens intently.  ah, so that was it – now that you mention it, the two of you don’t hold hands much, or really touch each other.  he had assumed that’s how you preferred it, little to no physical touch.  but now that you’ve explained why you’ve concealed those wishes . . . 

“i’d be more than willing to hold you.”  childe’s words are soft, and he manages a small smile to encourage you.  as soon as your face flushes, though, he can tell that there’s something else you want to say.  so he pauses, expectant, but you still seem nervous.

he takes a gander and speaks.  “we can start off slow, if you want . . .  actually, anything you want, you can tell me.  you don’t have to worry about being embarrassed.”

from there, the two of you work out what you want.  you both agree to take it slow, since this will be a first for you; small touches against each other’s fingers as reassurance, and taps against his shoulder when you’re too nervous to outright ask for his attention.  he also has something of his own to suggest:

“there’s some custom that mondstadtians have,” childe ponders aloud suddenly.  “hm – something about tapping three times, meaning ‘i love you’?”

at his notion, you become bashful, and look down towards your lap.  you know where he’s going with this, and at your reaction, the snezhnayan chuckles, unfolding his hands from atop each other to squeeze yours in demonstration.

“one, two, three.  it’s just gonna be between us, all right?”

diluc:

diluc is arguably one of the most emotionally reserved characters in all of mondstadt.  sure, he’s got a sense of dry humor and wit whenever he feels snarky enough, but when it comes to personal sentiments?  he keeps them behind lock and key, with the exception of passive aggression.

if you’re self-conscious about asking for affection, such as when you’re about to reach out to tap at his hand yet pull back at the last instant, you find him looking at you expectatntly, his notorious half-lidded gaze fixated on you.  if there’s something you want, you’ll ask for it is his mentality, since he assumes that the two of you are both comfortable enough in your relationship to do so.  and relationships are built around trust.  so why are you hesitating?

that is to say, he doesn’t stare at you until you crack.  after a few seconds, he’ll look away, and resume whatever he was doing beforehand.  if it were anyone else, he’d most likely ask them verbally what they want, since there’s no use in prolonging the time, and he’s an impatient man. 

he makes a conscious effort to be more gentle with you.  he can’t quite tell if you appreciate it though especially in these scenarios, since you always chew at your lip and refrain from looking at him afterwards.

diluc will only allude to these instances.  he’ll ask “is there something you need?” or “is something the matter?”  he has no experience with physical affection of any sort, at least since his father all those years ago.  so he’d be quite lost with your circumstance; he doesn’t know at all what you want unless you make a verbal indication as to what it is. 

one day, in the privacy of his office, he senses your fingers just near his forearm.  diluc looks over in time to see you clasp his coat rather shakily, but your hold is there nonetheless.  much like usual, he’ll peer at you with a half-lidded gaze, although this time he addresses how skittish you appear. 

“something the matter?” he’ll say as per usual, but this time he isn’t vague; he’s referring to your sudden committance to reaching out as opposed to pulling away.

“ . . . just wanted to hold you.”  your confession is a mere whisper, but your boyfriend still hears it.  the two of you sit in silence for a bit, before he turns his body and puts his hand on the side of your head, pressing gently so that you lean flush against his arm. 

you’re speechless, however the circumstance doesn’t need words anymore.  content with you hugging his arm, and now understanding your wants, diluc continues to work as you drift asleep against him.  while there’s still a ways to go, as he’s sure that this isn’t the only desire you have, it’s surely a start.

kaeya:

the astute captain that he is, kaeya can hone into your desires with relative ease.

before you can retract your hand after reaching out, he’s already grasped it in his own.  you’re caught off-guard, not expecting his agility, but his grip isn’t firm or unpleasant; it’s gentle, as if he’s caring for glass.

he lowers his face so that the two of you are eye-level.  “no need to be shy.  it’s just us.”  kaeya’s reassurance is playful at first, until your contemplative silence queues him in on the severity of your timidness.

he’s concerned: is there something serious that’s bothering you?  he’d just assumed that you wanted to hold hands, or lean on each other.  for how long it takes you to speak, he’s thinking the worst: is a coworker bothering you?  are you ill with a fever?  kaeya’s eyebrows furrow, and he immediately speaks again.  “what’s wrong, precious?  tell me, please.”

looking up at him, you realize that he has the wrong impression.  tenderly enveloping your cheek with his hands, rubbing your skin with his thumbs, you sink into the affection – but he’s got the wrong idea.  

“i-it’s fine,” you begin, and he blinks rapidly.  “just . . . wanted to, uh,” you nudge further into his hands, and squeeze his arms gently, “ . . . touch you.”

ah.  your meekness makes sense now, although considering your personality, his initial guesses probably wouldn’t have been far off.  nevertheless, kaeya indulges you, even if you both continue the circumstance in silence.  it’s evident that you’ve been holding back this request for a while, and as much as he loves to tease and would like to in this moment, he doesn’t believe now is an appropriate time.

so, kaeya continues to stroke your face, soothing away your nerves.  his other hand clasps yours in your lap, giving you the time and affection you crave.  

he finds your vulnerability endearing, but there’s guilt on his conscience: why have you been nervous to approach him about this, and why did he not pick up on it sooner?  not that he expects you to come for him for everything – kaeya just theorizes that there must be some reason as to why you appear so touch-starved, and he’s thinking the worst about such a reason.

“feeling better?”  he inquires, still cradling your face, and he pulls you into a hug.  his warmth is reassuring to you – the security that you’ve longed for.  if this is what affection feels like, you’re not sure that you’d ever want to pull away.

“yeah.”  hesitantly, you lift your face from his chest, but your arms remain around his waist.  your boyfriend grins slightly, and ruffles your hair, pushing your bangs aside so he can kiss your forehead.

“tell me about it.  we can figure this out together.” 

zhongli:

about three weeks into your relationship is when zhongli receives questions from hu tao: “hey, you and y/n don’t touch each other at all.  i know you’re ‘professional’ and stuff, but jeez – not even hand-holding?  thought it’d get more exciting at this point.”

and while he initially thought of her remarks as rude – your relationship isn’t any of her business – it did prompt him to consider her words.

specifically, she’s right: while he’s generally busy at wangsheng, he strives to make time for you whenever possible.  and in that time, never once have either of you touched each other.  he’s never minded, since he’s admittedly gone without it for so long and is used to life without it – but it’s the modern age, and isn’t it customary for liyuens to . . . ?

so he takes it upon himself to ask you over dinner.  he’s made bamboo shoot soup for you tonight, and as you sit across the table from him, finishing the dish, he speaks so candidly it nearly makes you choke on your last bite.

“would you like to hold hands in the market tomorrow?”

“what?”

zhongli makes a strange face.  he knows you heard him, so why do you also look startled, and are averting your eyes?

he repeats himself nonetheless, and while you do answer him this time, it’s by mumbling under your breath.

“ – odd question,” is how you start, and your boyfriend folds his hands underneath his face, yet doesn’t rest his chin.  “um, sure.  yeah, sure . . . ”

you most definitely do not sound sure, but it’s in a way that further perplexes him.  you look . . . thrilled now?  he can see that you’re refraining from smiling – the corners of your mouth flutter – but why?  zhongli doesn’t recall saying anything that would be good news . . .

“is something the matter?” the archon supplies instead, to which you shake your head.  your hands are in your lap.

“ah, no.  what you said just came out of no where.”  an unconcealed smile from you now, and zhongli finds himself relaxing.  if you’re certain, that’s all he cares about.

he stands up, and prepares to take your dish to the kitchen.  before though, he makes sure to bring you up to your feet, and intertwines his fingers with yours.

“may i kiss you?”  he asks, suddenly, unexpectedly.  he sees you nod, the slight pressing of your lips together, and gives them a quick peck before retreating; zhongli can still taste the slight bamboo left over.

when the two of you draw away, there’s a noticeable flush on your cheeks.  once more, you seem giddy, however this time he doesn’t have to ask why.

“i’ve never done this before.”  there’s trepidation in your voice that causes his brows to furrow slightly.  “so . . . it’s all right if we start out slow, right?”

“of course,” zhongli doesn’t hesitate to respond.  you could mean so many things, and he isn’t sure which you’re referring to: initiating physicality with him, or maybe that you’ve never had a partner before . . . ?  but he doesn't dwell on that.  “your comfort is what matters.”

in the market the next day, zhongli finds comfort in the slight tugs on his coat sleeve from your fingers, and the smile that beams on your visage.