#so i 100% do not blame him for using the pronouns that were written into the script while he was quite obviously reading off it

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

Appreciation post for how good a job Joey did as host of the great debate

[donutsupremacy]

Genshin men reacting to F!S/O accidentally burning her hands

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Summary:

"HCs of Genshin men reacting to their Pyro wielding!F!S/O burning her hands on accident while cooking"

Warnings / Spoilers:

Written during 4.2

Playable characters only

Reader has a Pyro vision, but the weapon choice is irrelevant

Reader is not traveller

Reader is their [S/O]

Female reader (I used as less pronouns as I could and still refer to as [S/O])

Short HCs

Sorted by region and in alphabetical order

Includes all currently playable male characters as of 4.2

Sweet petnames uwu

Ahhh so fluffy uwu

100% SFW because n o.

100% Ooc

Reader is aware of the archon's true identities

A/N: This is a requested fic— Not much specifics mentioned, so I decided to let loose a little.

Most of these HCs are rather generic and calm, I hope you don't mind, [Requester]. I see most of the genshin men we've encountered are actually mostly calm and polite gentlemen in game— yes, even Itto, but he's still Itto lol

I'll do Mondstadt, Liyue and half of Inazuma first, the rest will be done in a seperate post

P.S. yes i know there's a lot of spelling mistakes. and yes my poems, pick-up lines and jokes are utter shit, i am not a Kazuha/Venti kin :>

[Part 2 | Inazuma, Sumeru and Fontaine men]

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

A hiss erupts from your throat as you quickly withdrew your hand from the fire.

Your singed hands trembled, examining the dark spots that had littered across your palms and even your knuckles and fingers. You clicked your tongue, regretting the decisions to cook without your gloves. If only they weren't torn from that expedition two days ago... you should really get new ones.

You hear the door open... "[Name]?"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Mondstadt

Albedo

Immediately notices your hands getting burnt, nothing escapes the alchemist's observation skills. Plus, he knows how people react when accidentally burnt themseleves. His team works with chemical substances that require boiling and heating, after all. (And it's always Timaeus getting hurt while he's busy daydreaming about Ying'er while on the job lol)

"Here, allow me to have a look." Albedo murmured calmly, his gloved hand taking hold of yours, careful to not touch any areas that may have been made sensitive from the fire.

"It isn't favorable using your Pyro vision without your glove." He sighed, telling you to stay put as he wastes no time to treat the burn on your hand.

Albedo gently wiped your burned hand dry with a damp cloth, giving you a reassuring kiss on your forehead whenever he accidentally pressed too hard on a sensitive area.

Later, he applies a type of natural ointment that would supposedly heal your burn and hands you some medicine to take that would soothe the pain whenever it stings randomly.

He has you sitting on top of the counter, helping you finish cooking whatever you were trying to make while following your instructions— totally not a reason to spend more time for you. Nope. Haha. Totally not at all :>

"There we go... is this what you were trying to create perviously? *Chuckles* My dear crystalfly, next time... you can just simply ask for my help, you know I would always set my duties aside to aid you— no matter the situation."

Bennett

As expected; The first thing this poor boi does is blame his luck :(

He was practically on his knees, apologising frantically— he would rather get struck by a bolt of thunder from the Shogun herself than to accidentally inflict pain on his [S/O] who had stayed by his side despite his misfortune.

He's too afraid of possibly harming you more, even by a tiny little sting. Of course, he'll get you anything you asked for; A damp cloth, bandages, anything.

So he stands as far from you as he could, but still kept you in his eyesight, watching you patch yourself up as you calmly reassure him while he continued apologising. Poor boi.

At first, he was planning to go on an random expedition, so that you wouldn't end up getting hurt again because you were both under the same roof. But when you told him he can stay, wanting him to accompany you even risking your safety, he melted.

"You... Y-You do?... Ah, [S/O] are you... sure?... I-I really don't want to... Wha— H-Hey! Was that flour you just threw at my face?... Hahahaha! Oh, is that how you wanna play? It is on!"

Diluc

Prolly too busy in his office doing his work, but when Adelinde came in to his office, saying u got burnt, he dropped his work and ran straight to u.

The first thing he did was sigh in relief when he saw the burn mark was less severe than he thought

At first, Adelinde insisted to treat your wounds, but Diluc was just as insistent to take care of your wounds himself, only brushing her off and requesting for her to just bring some medical equipment before leaving the two of you alone.

Once she was gone, he lightly reprimands you for not using your glove. When you explained that you had accidentally torn it, he immediately took out both of his gloves and slipped it onto your hands, regardless of size he refuses to let you take them off if you wanted to cook.

He stays in the kitchen, watching over you and accompanying you as you cooked. If he sees you still struggling to cook because of the gloves size, he'll leave the easier tasks to you, while he takes over the more difficult tasks you couldn't. Not that he thinks you're incompetent— it's because he doesn't want to see you getting hurt again. Because seeing you in any form of pain hurts him more than it hurts you.

"Hm? No, there's no need to get the maids involved— we can finish this, quickly and smoothly. My work can wait. No more excuses, i'm finishing this recipe with you— I don't take 'no's or 'but's. Now, pass me the lid, love."

Kaeya

He'd probably chuckle at the sound of ur hiss first and at the pouty look on ur face, it's cute lol. But he'll help u soon after.

"Cooking using your Pyro vision without your glove isn't an ideal situation you would want to find yourself in, princess." Kaeya purred as he wraps your hand in a damp towel, carressing your cheek to soothe you with his free hand.

He decides that you should take a quick break— an excuse to cuddle you as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind and forces you to sit on his lap as he rests on the couch.

Kaeya peppers you with butterfly kisses all over your face as he keeps one arm wrapped around your waist while holding your hand that you burnt.

He uses a small amount of his Cryo abilites, lightly cooling down your injury— Even placing a kiss on your knuckle, which caused your skin to tingle and numb the pain greatly. Did this sneaky bastard use his Cryo vision to enhance that kiss?

"*Chuckles*, I know that face, princess... are you suspecting me of being up to something again? I'm just as pure and innocent... Although— mayhaps I am a little guilty for abusing my vision slightly. I'm not justifying my reasons, but to be fair; I only abuse it for you. What can I say? I love making you melt~"

Mika

Mika has experience treating burn injuries for his peers while going on that long expedition with Grand Master Varka, so the first thing he does when he sees u hurt is...; p a n i k.

You're the one calming him down as he tries to treat your burn— smooth and effecient, as expected for someone like Mika.

Save for the little frantic 'sorry's he squeaks out when he accidentally tightens the gauze a little too hard or brushes his fingers against a more sensitive area.

Once he was done, he offers to take over the cooking, wanting you to take a break. He's persistent when it comes to pampering you, Mika doesn't want to risk you getting burned— again. (Doormat Mika is persistent to u only when it's for ur own good uwu)

Even when he's done, he doesn't make you lift a finger— he even feeds you. You always baby him, now it's his turn to baby you. Blowing on the food if it's too hot, pouring a drink for you, wiping away the crumbs or stains on the corner of your lips. Everything.

"A-Ah! No, no— let me get that for you... There's no need to worry, I really don't mind. Here, let me pour your another cup... Would you like it cold? Or hot? Ah— w-wait, don't use your vision to light up the stove again!... Please just let me use a match instead... I want you to relax..."

Razor

I think he'd try to lick ur burn or kiss it immediately lol

Probably doesn't actually know how to treat a burn properly, so he'll likely just gently kiss around the burnt area, making sure to avoid the sensitive patches

He gives you cuddles— lot of kisses, even has his Lupicals allow you to pet their soft fur. Anything to cheer you up.

He'd likely get you some meat to eat instead. But if you're a vegan/vegeterian, he'll go straight out to hunting your favorite berries in Mondstadt and bring back a whole potato sack of it

While you're resting, he sneaks off to see purple teacher lady and requests that she teaches him basic first aid training. It's just in case, but it hurts him that he doesn't know how to take care of your pain— so may Barbatos bless his soul because he's determined to learn anything complicated to ensure your safety <3

"Wait... no— n-no touch... it's too sharp. I don't want you to... risk hurting yourself. Again... Hm? No worry? But... seeing [S/O] almost hurt herself... not happy. Promise to me... you won't accidentally... hurt yourself again? You... mean too much to me...

Venti

I feel like he would drink those alcohol bottles that are specifically meant for numbing and disinfecting wounds. Yeah he def would. Canon.

He uses Anemo to lightly blow and cool down your burn, numbing the pain for you enough that a light kiss wouldn't sting. But he forbids you to continue cooking until your hand fully recovers.

After treating you to lunch (You paid), he sets you down on your couch, making you lay your head on his lap as he holds your burnt hand while carressing your head with his free hand.

If it still hurts or numb, he'll get a damp cloth and gently wrap your hand in it. To distract you from the uncomfortable feeling, he sings you various romantic and cute songs, even making short poetry (That he thought of immediately while staring at your pretty face)

"A cry of pain, shrieks of agony— Voices that conquer even the rumbles of thunder, and it's stories of tragedy— Flames that burn, brighter than light— But also inflicts harm that causes fright— Save your tears, my lucky windblume... Let your one and only make that sweet smile of yours bloom~"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Liyue

Baizhu

Infinite/10 treatment. Get a doctor as ur [S/O] ladies

After Changsheng chides you for your carelessness— Baizhu shushes the snake and comes over to examine your wound, he doesn't take long to reassure you that it's not too severe.

Health comes first as he always says— so he carefully treats your burn, chooses the most effective medicine that wouldn't risk a single side effect.

He's got it all for you; Ointment that soothes burns, herbs that relieves pain and even butterfly kisses all over your face that never fails to put a smile on your face— kissing away any tears if the pain stung you gravely.

Once he's done with treating your wound, he has you sitting down and takes over your cooking— even making a remedy that can help alleviate numbness. He even spoon-fed you your own meal.

"Ah, you have a bit of a something at the corner of your lips. Let me get that for you, dear. *Smooch*... Hm? Your face is red! Have you been affected by a fever? Let's see... warm, bright red cheeks, eyes avoiding mine and the corner of your luscious lips trembling... I see now... *Chuckles* Maybe it was my kiss that got you like this~

Chongyun

Poor bby got overwhelmed with panik when he heard ur yelp and ran over to see u near f i r e

Luckily for you, he has that popsicle stash of his to cool and numb your burn, even giving you one to munch on. It was to cheer you up... but it doesn't really have flavour.

Once your wound has numbed, he tries to finish your for you— but the need to make it a perfect dish for you overwhelms him and he almost burns himself as well.

Still determined to cheer you up, he'll later treat you to lunch, bringing you to Wanmin restaurant and let you order your favorites. He'll treat it as a date.

You'll meet Xiangling there, cooing when she saw the two of you on a date. Luckily for Chongyun, he still has his popsicle before Xiangling's cooing could overwhelm him.

If you ordered something hot and spicy, he obviously can't share with you. But is willing to take a small tiny bite or sip for you, he'll even feed you if you'd like. If it's something cold, he'll definitely enjoy sharing the dish with you, letting you eat more of it if it's your favorite.

"Are you satisfied with today's date?... I hope I didn't look forced or nervous like last time. It's not that I don't enjoy our dates, my love... Oh, y-you seem to have caught on. Was I bad at hiding it?... I don't need to make everything perfect for you?... Ah, th-that's a little hard to adapt to, you can't blame me for always wanting everything to be flawless when you're quite perfect yourself, no?... *Shy chuckle*"

Xiao

U don't even need to call him— he hears u yelp, he goes "You called?" "AAAAA—"

Immediately reprimands you for thinking this was a good idea, even adding that it was pointless to cook when all mortal food tastes flavourless. But to make you feel a little better, he (quietly) compliments that your cooking at least has some flavour in them compared to the dishes other chefs made.

He's insistent on making you rest, claiming that you'll only burn yourself again, or worse, set your house into flames. You didn't even sucessfully light up the stove!

While you're busy treating your wounds, he vanishes without another word— secretly, he visited Yanxiao in Wangshu Inn, who agreed to make the dish you were making, only because he didn't want to upset the Adeptus and that he knew how much you meant to the Vigilant Yaksha.

It didn't take long for him to return, and if he caught you trying to light up the stove again without your gloves, he'll drag you away from your kitchen— Locking the door to it if he has to and quite literally carrying you over his shoulder like a potato sack, not a single peep of complain regarding your weight. He's strong for a reason.

He places you down on your couch and then offers you the dish, but was caught off guard when you said you wanted to share it with him. At first, he wanted to decline, saying that it won't have any taste... but that resilience of his crumbles immediately at a single 'please?' from you.

So there he sat with you, only taking a few small bites just to please you... and to see that cheeky little smile on your face. He doesn't peep a complain, only enjoying your quiet company and vice versa. Although he secretly cringes at the bland taste of the food, he finds it tolerable around you. He hopes you didn't catch his cheeks tinted a bright shade of red.

"...Another bite? If you insist... Hm? No, I don't have any comments or suggestions to this dish— it doesn't concern me... I-I'm not upset at you, it's just... I don't have a reason to eat mortal food, let alone enjoy it. This was honestly a waste of time... Oddly enough, I do find eating anything with you... quite sweet. Stop looking at me like that, i'm making this an exception just once... Can you feed me another bite...?"

Xingqiu

*Proceeds to splash the fire out with his vision*

You feel a pair of arms wrap firmly around you before you hear the voice of your boyfriend whispering sweet nothings into your ear, soothing you as he plants gentle butterfly kisses on your cheek.

He treats your injury like normal, having you rant about what happened to your glove while he quietly and patiently listens, just letting you speak to take your mind off the burn injury that he was healing.

Once he's done, he'll just have you rest your head on his lap, saying he'll ask Xiangling to cook for you later. As he does this, he'll read your favorite story, whether it be a fairytale, a history novel or even one of my oneshots. He uses a more gentle and calm voice, carressing your head every now and then.

However, as soon as he sees you fall asleep half way through thanks to his lullaby-esque voice, he sneakily plants a kiss on your lips... and proceeds to write a short story about you the next day; Of a young warrior who got defeated by a stove and was later cared for by their partner who happens to be their enemy. He loves writing private short stories for just the two of you, mostly made to tease you.

"How do you find the story, my liege?... Hm? Why does the main sound exactly like you? Haha~... What a curious question you have there in that pretty little head of yours. Riddle me this; How do you think the main character's love interest treated them? It's quite romantic, no? I'd say i've improved my writing with this story!... Well, maybe I exaggerated with the part where you fought a stove and lost~"

Zhongli

*Sends meteor towards the stove*

Does the same thing as the other; treat your injury with love and care, wrapping you around his arms as he carresses your back with gentle strokes, just overall enjoying eachother's presence.

At first, he suggests going to Xinyue Kiosk... until he was reminded that Childe was still healing in Fontaine after receiving a letter from him saying he got thrown into jail and fought a whale. Plus, Hu Tao is off to who knows where? Doing Archons knows what? He sure doesn't know.

Instead, he brings you to one of the Adepti's abode. Though, it's incredibly tedious as the journey itself is long (You're travelling up a mountain, duh). Halfway through, regardless of whether or not you're tired, he has you wrapping around your arms loosely around his neck, chest pressed against his back with his arms hooked beneath your legs— giving you a piggy back ride. Doesn't complain at all, he loves being this close to you.

There, he meets Cloud Retainer, who welcomes you to her abode (And chides you for your small injury like the mother she is), allowing Zhongli to use her 'Supreme Cuisine Machine' to make Bamboo shoot soup for you and it thankfully doesn't take long.

Cloud Retainer allows the two of you to have your little date on Mt. Aocang in peace, secretly watching over the two of you as Zhongli feeds you, with a fond smile and eyes that held affection towards you, the both of you enjoying eachother's company and the view on top of Mt. Aocang.

"Careful, it's hot... How does it taste? It is no trouble at all, [S/O]— this view is worth the journey, if it means I get to share it with someone I hold dear to my heart. Be it minutes or centuries, I cerish each moment with you, this one especially. Now, would you like another spoon?"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Inazuma

Arataki Itto

*Proceeds to use sand on your injury* "...They said sand can put out fire! And that's what hurt you, didn't it???????"

Definitely doesn't know how to treat your wounds, but he does get Shinobu to help tend to your burn injury. Meanwhile, she not only lightly reprimands you for your recklessness... she full-on scolds Itto for not looking after you.

He pouts and whines, saying he was busy collecting lavender melons for you to cook with— although, he does feel really terrible for not being able to help. Who knows what would've happened if he had left for a little while longer?; You might've accidentally chopped a limb off, maybe even unintentionally cause a wildfire, or worse; accidentally putting his beetles in the soup!

To make it up to you, he... tries to sing for you. At least, he tries to 'up his game'. He gathers up his gang and Shinobu, makes them pamper you (Shinobu just has a nice conversation with you while the other three does Archons knows what), and that was when he does a very dramatic grand entrance as he starts to bellow out in the worst voice you've ever heard.

After shattering your eardrums, he shoos away the rest as he just wants some cuddling with you now. Singing takes a toll on him surprisingly enough. So now, there you sat on your couch, Itto's beefy arms wrapped around you as he tells you a story about a group of 'bandits' he encountered while collecting lavender melons for you.

"So there I was; Arataki 'The Unstoppable Force' Itto, surrounded by a group of bandits wanting to steal my hard earned stash of lavender melons! The nerve of these newbies, trying to steal my stuff meant for my 'One and Oni' señorita— I stood there, my weapon in hand and ready to make them wish they should've chose to play TCG with me instead of an all-out brawl!... Eh? What? You're saying those were just kids with mask because of their height and voices that I described?... You're not telling this to Shinobu, riiiiiight?"

Gorou

Very calmly puts out the fire... while sending barrages of 'ARE YOU OKAY?' towards u

He's a general, he knows the basics of treating small injuries like this... but his hands are noticably shaky, afraid of inflicting even the smallest sting on you by accident.

Whenever you winced just the slightest bit, the way your nose scrunched up at the most uncomfortable touch, your brows furrowed and eyes narrowing a little, he stammers out apologies after apologies.

Once he finishes treating your wound, his ears flattened against the back of his skull, tail curled up as his shoulders drooped, mumbling that he should've taken more of those first aid training so he could ensure your safety. He's already lost too much on the battlefield, he doesn't want you to get hurt... even if it's just a small burn.

Ironic; You're supposed to be the one needing comfort, but you're the one comforting him instead, letting him lay on your [lap/chest] as you ran your fingers through his soft brown lockes, effectively calming him down by scratching the back of his ears and massaging his scalp with your fingers. Though, petting his soft and perfectly-groomed tail was enough to soothe your worries.

The two of you just simple laid there on your couch, his tail lightly wagging side to side as he curled up into you— he can feel vulnerable around you.

"Yes, my love... it feels so... so much better like this. Don't worry— i'm on break at the moment... Although, I might have to return to my post soon for my duties... Uhm... b-but i'm sure my peers can cover for me a little longer... I really need this..."

Kamisato Ayato

Boba

First thing he does is wrap his arms arouns your waist, pulling you into a gentle hug, you face resting against his chest as his gloved hands carressed the back of your head, cooing and lightly teasing you for being impulsive while cooking.

Has Thoma patch you up since he's more qualified and careful for that. Ayato has you sitting on his lap, cuddling you with that calm puppy-like smile of his while Thoma is the one scolding you for burning yourself on accident.

But after that, he brings you out on yet another date; Strolling around Inazuma City and by the beach, then bringing you Uyuu restaurant for lunch— letting you order your favorites. He even buys a drink and asks for 2 straws, wanting to share it with you (and so see your flushed cheeks when the two of you were drinking, noses nearly touching)

This is for those who like reading any type of books; After filling your bellies, he takes you (a little begrudgingly, but he loves you) to Yae Publishing House and lets you buy another book for your collection. And when he finds you reading a romance novel, he rests his chin on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist as he teases your flustered reaction— saying there's no better love story than your story with him.

"Were you satisfied with today's date? Ah, perfect... I see my method with making you forget that little injury of yours worked. A win-win for the both of us; you get to forget about your embarrassing moment and get to have your favorites— and I... deserve this for all my hard work; *Smooch*~"

[honeyblockm]

Hi! My name is Yen! [pronouns: he/it/any] Sometimes i am also other names in other reaches of the internet.

↳ this is a sideblog, I follow and interact from @spiritunwilling

↳ ao3: cryptofhoney

↳ my DSMP playlists

↳ I don't rlly tag consistently for anything so like, be forewarned.

↳ art I draw is tagged with #my art; writing I do is tagged #my writing; all asks are tagged #asks; and I almost never keep up with it but non-reblogs/original posts for a time were placed under #yens

↳ lore main! Assume everything I talk about is about the characters unless otherwise specified

↳ be decent. Be kind. For the love of god don't victim blame or harass people

↳ for clarity: I don't support cc!Dream or cc!Wilbur and am not comfortable engaging with blogs about either content creator, both directly and through my work. I don't go through the blogs of everyone that interacts with me bc I have a life but I will block if it comes to my attention. Don't rlly believe in the efficacy of dni statements so this is not one. But yeah jsyk

□ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □

here are some of the things i have made:

Silver Dollar: President Schlatt is dead, murdered. It's up to you to find his killer.

A murder mystery game created in Twine, set during the Manberg era. Chapter 1 out of 4 has been posted.

Journeying Into the Center of the Earth to Retrieve Your Dead Ex-Boyfriend: Quackity goes to Hell.

Post Canon-Divergence c!Quacknap AU where Quackity does the classic Descent into the Underworld to Save a Loved One™

BED [DIS]ASSEMBLY: A STURDY BED FRAME WITH SOFT, PROFILE EDGES AND HIGH LEGS. A CLASSIC SHAPE THAT WILL LAST FOR MANY YEARS. THIS CLASSIC BED FRAME WILL LOOK GREAT WITH YOUR CHOICE OF TEXTILES AND BEDROOM FURNITURE.

c!Sapnap-centric creative writing piece, in the format of an edited IKEA manual

KILL YOUR PAST SELF: YOU WILL KNOW WHEN THE TIME HAS COME

c!Quackity-centric infographic(?) about ego death and metaphorically killing your previous iteration because it can no longer sustain itself. Or you.

WE ALL THINK YOU'RE A GRAND GIRL: NIHACHU Well they’re gone now I guess you all saw it. Schlatt chased them out not in this great clashing of blades and war they just had to run

c!Niki-centric oneshot, about her arc during the Manberg-Pogtopia war. Based on the style and themes of Anne Carson's Antigonick.

with the measure that you used / so shall it be measured to you: Sapnap, post-Dream.

Post-canon fic where Sapnap kills Dream and keeps on living. Written in the format of several interviews with SMP newspapers over 2-3 decades.

The Death Poem: What is known about dying on the server.

A poem for every canon death on the server (in some cases of group deaths they are combined, like FCR.)

Carthage may rise again someday

collection of what should be all of the dsmp poems I've written, most of which are also posted here. There's poems about everyone from Philza to Wilbur to Fundy to Wilbur again to Quackity to Wilbur again! to Sapnap to Quackity-

before we cut to Alexandria: Between you is a desk and, an hour later, a wall, and your brother- let’s call him your brother, because you do not have to like your brothers, but you have to have them. And he is here, your brother.

c!cabinetduo (Manberg era) poem that warrants its own post. Might be the longest poem I've ever written and I have no idea how that happened even. Also on ao3.

you don't have to love it: Turning heel; or, deciding not to die.

c!Quackity-centric professional wrestling au. Kind of a character study. Kind of a love letter to how compelling getting beat up and beating people up can be ^_^ and also kayfabe and heel turns and losing

12x100s: the loneliest people in the whole wide world - Fundy and Quackity; where the high wires drop (where the fat crows fly) - Sam and Ponk

12x100s are a format by Lewis Attilio. Series' of twelve 100-word snapshots. Pretty great for character studies. The fics aren't related to one another, they're just both 12x100s.

Left Pining for Transience: Quackity Snowfall is a perfect machine, capable of assisting Senator Schlatt however he needs. Theirs is a relationship of mutual benefit--he helps Schlatt stay in power and Schlatt keeps him out of the grasp of the omnipresent megacorporation REDSTONE. Quackity has nothing else to turn to, no reason to stray from his position until he meets Karl, a rogue neural net touting what appears to be sentience.

c!Karlnapity cyberpunk AU where Karl lives inside Quackity's head. Written in two months for AUFEST 2023. It is my first go at a completed longfic. I wish it could be better but that's okay. We're learning.

Various AU series: The Paltry Few-Harbinger AU (supernatural/monster hunting); no don't tell me the odds (blaseball);

I have other standalone fics that take place in alternate universes, but these are the ones that actually have multiple works in the series.

november 16

webweave about fallen cities and dreams that could only be a whisper.

your death and mine

c!sandduo webweave about the act of killing your son.

WE ARE NOT TRAITORS BUT THE LIGHTS GO OUT

c!dreamnap webweave about loving your best friend, who is, in some sense or another, dead.

LONGING BECOMES ITS OWN OBJECT

c!karlnapity webweave about an absence and tidal wave of love both.

CUT ME DOWN WHERE THE WATER MEETS THE SEA

c!Fundy webweave about fathers

Relief Pitcher: so send me up, so sound the alarm

Niche but I love this so it makes the list. c!Quackity webweave based on the song Relief Pitcher by the Garages.

but once upon it / the yellow bonnet

This is a drawing of karlnapity getting married and tbh it fucks. That's all.

Bad Blood

@/anonymous-dentist wrote a comic that I illustrated for @/dsmpherozine! It's about vigilante!Karl breaking into Las Nevadas.

other art of mine that I think is cool: Kiss of Judas - Eretbur; Independence or Death - L'Manberg zine; DEICIDE - Dreamnap; Karlnapity sleeping sketch; more karlnapity; c!Quackity magdalen with the smoking flame study; slasher wedding concept; karlnapity become triangle; Honq cozies; you guessed it it's more karlnapity; 3 guys 1 bed - Kinoko; Karlnapity painting based off a poem; Devil and Fallen Angel - Tinarose;

Poster redraws: communist gay eggpire, SUPPORT UNIONS FOOLISH GAMERS SAYS TO SUPPORT UNIONS

hey man sometimes the urge overtakes me

Various comics: dream & divinity; skephalo & healing; tntduo & mutual destruction; devil town chapter 11 by hooray; sapnap and homemaking; tommyinnit & persevering; karlnapity & a complete list of fears; ponk & a broken relationship; wilbur & the final control room; awesamdude & the warden; fundy & routine; karl & love

like 5 of these are lyric comics and 3 are specifically using songs from the mountain goats. good lord

[kcatta-wodahs]

Trans, Enby, or anything not Cis MC + OM Demon Bros!

TLDR; they all fuckin love you okay you’re wonderful

Lucifer

It happens right away honestly, as he is your introduction to Devildom 

You arrive suddenly in the student council, with no fucking warning, and with a bunch of people who are saying they’re demons. And like yeah okay sorcery obviously exists in your world so we can work with this but

He looks at a file, and states your deadname, and in a fit of bravery or just “i guess im here now” you correct him. 

The silence after that is palpable and every negative emotion you’re feeling as you wait shows up on your face. 

Lucifer only has a slight frown, looking at the paper, and at you, before it clears.

“Oh. Humans. I understand.” He marks something on the paper, and repeats your name. Your real name.

“Should I assume that the pronouns listed are incorrect as well?”

He calls for a RAD uniform that you’re most comfortable with, while Diavolo gushes over “HUMAN!!!”

Okay, cool, you’re hanging with demons now but at least they respect your pronouns? Guess this is your life. Your next question is whether you’re dead lol

So he knows the whole time, but it doesn’t change a thing! He loves you the same.

When you’re closer, he is very to-the-point about caring for you when you’re feeling dysphoric.

He offers you tips, makes sure you maintain your voice training even if you’re embarrassed about it, and always pushes you to express yourself how you want.

Hell maybe they use that princely riches to get you whatever surgeries you might want!

And he will *very clearly* show you how much he likes your body, however it is. 

After all, by the end of the game you belong to him, don’t you?

Mammon

When he's first assigned to be your guardian or whatever in Devildom, he didn't get the memo. 

Didn't read the paperwork, cause he's just like me and puts off homework for way too long.

So he doesn't know these pronouns of yours that Lucifer has fixed in the documentation.

Which means, unfortunately, you have to correct him when he first speaks to Levi about you.

What's funny about it is that he'll complain about LITERALLY EVERYTHING having to do with you and you being a human and UGH he has to take care of a FRAGILE HUMAN

But when you correct the pronouns he doesn't even fucking blink.

You don't even explain.

You just say the correct pronoun after he messes up, and then he repeats you and *continues complaining about you* but this time in the correct pronouns.

This is the first moment out of a million of "hidden endearing things about Mammon" that you will come to learn.

Later, when you're closer, he will always be there to stand up for you and put up a fight if anyone wants to give you shit.

He will defend you to the end of time. 

And he adores you. If he -- The Great Mammon -- adores you, then you must be perfect. So you can tell your stupid human brain to stuff it with the negative talk.

Leviathan

This one is written as AFAB

When you deny wearing the Ruri-chan dress for him, he's sad.

He KNEW you thought he was weird… and his thing for Ruri-chan was weird… and weirddmmm

So, you hesitantly tell him that… no, truly its not because of Ruri-chan

You just.. feel so sick when wearing dresses.

Something in you physically hurts, and you feel so *wrong* when in a situation where you're supposed to act "girly".

And you tell him that you don't really identify as female. You try to avoid that image whenever you can.

Levi is so touched that you would tell him and be honest with him.

He hugs you tightly and then turns beet red.

"D-Does that mean that you m-might.. kabedon… as Henry….?"

Cause he has that costume too and has never told anyone that he def would be seduced by his TSL hero.

You can get behind that one, and seeing how flustered he gets around you being yourself (through Henry?) has your confidence skyrocketing

This makes way to you flirting with ya boi 100% more often to see his adorable face.

Beelzebub

You go with him to work out, which is nothing really new, but this time he's looking at doing endurance training

...by swimming.

You have no idea what to do. 

He didn't think twice about it, either. He didn't assume there would be any problem at all. 

But for some reason your brain decided that his helpful and loving attitude wouldn't extend to this? Brains are silly when scared.

You try not to tear up when he questions why you've frozen in the doorway when he told you his plan.

You have no reason to be ashamed, or fearful, but the suddenness of the moment overwhelms you.

"I can't wear a swimsuit," is what comes out.

He pauses and then just looked vastly confused. He thought humans could swim..? Anyone could wear a swimsuit. You were wearing clothes right? What's the difference?

You wrap your arms around yourself, tryiing to soothe your nerves. "It's.. It shows too much.."

Then he looks you over, causing you to blush further, and he tips his head. "But you look nice."

Well if you weren't blushing before, now you definitely were. But it's not that. You hold your breath.

You try to explain without actually saying it, almost as if the word transgender has been blocked from your internal vocabulary. 

But this babe just insists that you look great no matter what. Is it scars? Like everyone here has scars, it's okay. Weird toes? You should see Belphie's. There's a reason he wears socks all the time. 

That almost makes you giggle, and you use that courage to say that you're trans.

He pauses for just a seond to blink. "Oh... nobody cares about that here."

He pulls you into a hug while you struggle for words. He tells you that you don't have to go swimming if you don't want to.

But he makes sure you know that he thinks you're wonderful. You're strong and brave and amazing. He will fight anyone who makes you feel differently. 

Asmodeus

This one is AMAB

It’s seeing Asmo be unequivocally himself that gives you the courage to do it.

You haven’t even told your human friends yet. Your human family.

You’ve known for ages, but..

Seeing Asmo flounce over to you wearing the most STUNNING evening dress has you weak at the knees, for reasons other than he assumes.

He assumes that you’re wildly in love as you duck your head and try to mumble something through your shaking breaths, and of course, who wouldn’t be?

But when he coaxes you to speak up for him, delight of a whole different kind lights up in his expression.

“Could you… make me as pretty as you?”

Oh, darling, he wouldn’t even need to try.

He dolls you up, hosting a lovely makeover session in his room. What he doesn’t expect is for you to start crying when you look at yourself in the mirror.

Asmo’s unshakeable confidence is shaken. He rushes over to you, trying to brush away tears and learning what’s wrong.

That’s when you tell him what you’d been hiding for so long.

The adoration in his eyes catches you off guard, and he takes your hands lovingly. “Oh, honey..” he mumbles, affectionate and sweet instead of seductive. “What’s your name?”

He takes you out shopping the next day, and is always ready to help you be yourself. 

He makes the switch almost instantly, and calls you the prettiest thing he’s ever seen even when you’re just waking up in the morning and kind of feel like a toad. 

(You blame him for those mornings, though, since he’s the one working so hard to *thoroughly* exhaust you the night before.)

Satan

This one is AFAB

You and Satan have begun meeting rather often for tea. 

It’s even gotten to the point where you’re both perfectly happy to sit in silence around each other. You’ve never been more comfortable.

But today, chaos reigns, and it has decided to make you clumsy today. Not even like, oh “that’s reasonable” clumsy.

No, you were enthralled in your fucking book, and you MISSED. 

Tea, all down your chin and neck, and you hear a snort of derision.

Satan is looking at you, very clearly amused. “Very graceful.”

You huff and puff out your cheeks at him to prevent from blushing. “Shut up. Do you have a towel?”

Looking no less amused, he just pulls a new shirt from the dresser behind him and offers it to you. 

You guys are chill. Good friends. Like. You don’t want to get up to go find a bathroom to change in. Your book is good and like Satan’s not about to be a creep, so you ask if it’s cool if you just change there, and he shrugs in response.

So, you swap shirts quickly, but when you’re dry he’s looking at you curiously.

“You have battle scars.”

You realize that you’d never told him. About your past, or your surgery, and you suddenly feel very self-conscious. 

“It’s- .. Not exactly,” you fumble out, realizing that now, instead of finishing your amazing book, you have to deal with *coming out?* Ughhhhhh. “They’re from a surgery.”

Satan’s eyes don’t leave you. “I’ve read enough about the human world to know what they are,” he said, then he nods to himself. “I didn’t know you’d had such a fight.”

You are either very, very impressed or very, very confused and you really don’t know which to lean towards just yet. 

“I’ve never been in a battle, Satan.”

“You fought to become yourself,” he answered, a small smile tracing his lips. “You never cease to impress me.”

Belphegor

The best part about becoming best friends with Belphie is the snuggle naps. It's the sweetest, calmest thing.

He is a little confused about why you insist on hugging a pillow when you nap with him, though.

He admits, its adorable. When he's big spoon he loves looking at you as you snuggle the big fluffy pillow. 

When he wants to face you, though, he wants to be closer, he doesn't really understand it. He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable but also.. why?

Eventually, he tries to get answers out of you by teasing you about getting closer *intimately*. 

He does expect the blush.

He doesn't expect the look of despair that you hide from him.

He's stunned for a moment before demanding to know why the hell you would look so sad about that.

You try to shake it off, but Belphie's nothing if not persistent and annoying when he wants to be.

He learns that you have been trying really hard for months now to hide your body from him. To keep your personal info private, even while snuggling. 

You didn't know how he would take it, after all. 

What if he got something he wasn't expecting?

Honestly, Belphie sulks after hearing this. He flicks your forehead and glares at you for doubting him. 

But he looks you dead in the eyes and reminds you that you could never convince him you were anything less than perfect.

If you expected him to be disappointed by whatever you hid during snuggles, he would never be. You would never be a disappointment to him.

Your next nap together doesn't feature the pillow between you, which makes your heart feel fit to burst while he snuggles you closer. 

[bciwasinlove]

how would you analyize or interpret the song walls?cause i‘ve heard a lot of people say it‘s a break up song as it‘s written in past tense and basically saying he‘s stronger now after a break up (maybe even from a toxic relationship), he‘s risen above it and it doesn‘t really sound like a love song about an ongoing romance, does it?

Hi anon this is going to be a long one bc there is no quick answer to this so just know you asked for this.

First let's get one thing straight the ones who claim Walls [the album in general] is a break up album are the "Rads" short for Radical Louies. Essentially they are toxic louies who once were a larry shipper [not even a real larrie] but now hate Harry bc their mad Louis hasn't gotten the same promo and solo opportunities Harry has and some how in their eyes that's Harry's fault. They don't see it was Syco trying to sabotage Louis and in no way is Louis being sabotaged Harry's fault. Rads try to twist the truth and believe Harry left Louis for fame so since they hate Harry they have twisted the meaning of Walls to in their head a break up from a toxic relationship. They also really want LT2 to be a HUGE SHADE break up album which is 100% not the case so don't believe their crap.

Tho I heard you may have sent this same ask to others [who probably ignored you] so there is a chance you are a rad trying to find out what larries believe. Either way if you are a confused larrie or an undercover rad you probably need this info that no one else will bother giving you the time of day to tell you but I myself thought why not I'll answer you.

Second Louis and Harry have been happily in love for 10 years and have not officially broken up. Yes they have had issues like any couple does but it did not stem from eachother their issues stemed from them being forcibly closeted, the stunt gfs and their labels thus their songs are not break up songs but songs about not being able to be free and forced to fake date others when all they want is to publicly be with the one they love.

Now that that is out of the way here's why Walls is about Louis loving one person and one person only since he was 18. I'm doing the whole album [minus TOU] bc it is impossible to state why Walls the song is not a break up song without mentioning the others like Too Young [which rads also claim as a break up song] bc the album as a whole paints the whole picture.

Bree's analysis on Walls

Kill My Mind:

You kill my mind, raise my body back to life and I don't know what I'd do without you now.

KMM is definitely the sexual song of Walls [not No Control type sexual but just we click right from the start sexual] It has the I just met you and we are figuring one another out vibe [both physically and just as people] and how right from the start Louis craves Harry and his attention. It has a similar vibe to Watermelon Sugar which Harry said is about the euphoria of falling in love and the way the other person makes you feel right from the start. Louis in KMM is saying I've just meet someone and they are now all I think about, crave and I don't know how I would be able to live without them.

Don't Let It Break Your Heart:

And I know you left apart of you in New York under your bed in a box, but your doing better.

Flashback to HS1 "Ever Since New York" seems like they both love to mention something happening in NY with their lover. We may never know what happened but it's always a funny coincidence when they mention the same places in their songs almost like their singing about the same situation.

Life gets hard and it gets messed up when you give so much, but it's not enough when the highs to high and the lows to low when you love somone and they let you go.

As I stated before their issues involved the stunts [fake dating women] so when Louis says love someone and they let you go he means when his lover gave into what they were being told to do for the sake of their careers. As young as they were when this all started it's hard not to think they may have fell for the lies being fed to them. So Harry let "Louis go" by being seeing with a ton of women gaining himself the brand of "lady's man" while also being forced to watch Louis be with someone else [Eleanor] and publicly act like that was the one he loved. Harry wrote the song Just a Little Bit of Your Heart which is a prime exactly of those feelings. Harry loves Louis so much but he only gets to love him privately while Eleanor gets to loves him publicly and as Harry wrote a little bit of your love is better then none.

Were driving down a one way road to something better. What hurts you is going to pass you'll be doing better.

This shows they know the pain all the bad things thrown their way won't stick around forever. They will overcome this and one day they will see the light at the end of the tunnel or the rainbow after the storm.

We Made It:

Cause we made it, Underestimated and always underrated. Now we're saying goodbye waving to the hard time yeah it's gonna be already.

Do I need to explain it I would say the title alone and this chorus makes it very clear. Break up who when where how? They had hard ships but NOT from their own doing. WMI is about how decpite all they were put through they made it. Flashback to Harry HS1 tour with Kacey in a rainbow dress at MSG in front of 36k people singing "[their/where] still together still going strong." They want you to know nothing will break them apart no matter how hard anyone tries. We are keeping the bad in the past and moving forward to a better tomorrow.

Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about. Things we'd never say to someone else out loud.

This reminds me of their Xfactor days or early 1D tour days bc in 1D interviews it was always made clear they would share rooms and also how on the bus Louis bunk was filled with his junk so where did he sleep then? Also there are many former Xfactor contestants that have come out and said they were forced to be in the closet on the show. Flashback to an article claiming the people in charge of the 2010 Xfactor season tried to hide and keep a same sex couple apart wonder who that was? That line is about when they were young and the late nights they spent together wondering how their future was going to go. They were still just big smiles, wide eyed, oblivious young boys when they imagined only good things to come of the future with them and the band.

We were only kids just trying to work it out. Wonder what they'd say if they could see us now?/ Don't know why they put all of this on us when we're so young. Done a pretty good job dealing with it all.

We were only kids [when Louis fell in love with said person] and we're so young reminds me of Harry's song To Be So Lonely where he says "Don't blame me for falling I was just a little boy." They both mention falling in love at a young age and both mention how after all this time they are still just as in love as back then but just a little less naive/oblivious. They are both hinting at a higher person [their label/management] who didn't approve of their love and telling them it wasn't going to work out. Harry going you can't be mad at me I was only a boy and Louis going wonder what would happen if they saw us now meaning look we didn't let you win. They tried so hard to separate Louis and Harry but it didn't work and Louis wants us and THEM especially to know they are still very much together, they handled it as best at they could and they weren't going to let them keep Louis and Harry apart.

Meet you at your uni, cheap drink, drink em all night

This is what we call a stunt line to push a narrative. Harry does stunt songs [Carolina and Cherry] while Louis does stunt lines. This line is suppose to allude to the album being for Eleanor [bc she went to Manchester Uni] but the rest of the album is so clearly not for her. If this song was about a break up from Harry then why would they bother adding in a stunt line about Eleanor when the public story is El and Louis are happily still together with Louis planning to marry her? Unless Walls isn't a break up album and it's very loudly Louis declaring him and Harry are still happily together and they wanted to try and force the image that Louis is happily in love with Eleanor. Also funny how this album is gender neutral and has no she pronouns in it unlike Zayn's new album having she pronouns.

Too Young:

We were to young to know we had everything. Too Young, I wish I could've seen it all along. I'm sorry that I hurt you, darling, no we were to young

This song is all about how when Harry was only 16 and he was 18 [Louis himself saying the song is about meeting the one at 18] he was to young to realize he had the best lover he was ever going to have, he had it all. As I said before issues in songs = management/stunts and this is Illuding to how Louis let them minupulate them and do what it was they wanted aka stunting and forcing Louis to be with Eleanor and Harry have a "lady's image" since he was only 16 and Louis now looking back and realizing he should have fought harder. Louis at the time didn't realize how much all this would hurt Harry having to share Louis [once again Just a Little Bit of Your Heart is Harry's feelings about that] and its once he's older he realizes what he did to hurt the only one who he ever truly loved and it pains him to know he put his lover through that even if it wasn't Louis fault Harry went through that.

I've been looking back a lot lately me and you is all I've ever known. Oh I can't believe I gave in to the pressure. When they said a love like this would never last. I didn't know no better now I realize yeah I realize.

So similar to before he's saying Harry is all he's ever known and him giving in to the pressure was about agreeing to fake date Eleanor and allow them to be heavily closeted. Reflecting back on those days he regrets so much what he agreed to do. They said a love like this wouldn't last is their management/label not agreeing with them being together and how two boys in a boyband marketed towards young women won't last, they won't sell records as an out gay couple with Louis believing their lies for a bit and he now regrets ever thinking they were right. This is a reflection song of not understanding what he had when he was so young but he sees it clearly now and he will never let THEM win he loves Harry and won't ever let him go ever.

Walls:

These high walls, they came up short now I stand taller then them all. These high walls never broke my soul and I watched them all come fallin down for you.

The high walls he refers to is all the assholes who tried to break him, break Harry and tried to ruin his career out of spite. This is towards the ones who told him they would never succeed being as they are a committed gay couple. Louis for a time believed them when they said their love wouldn't last, no one will want to listen to their music as a gay couple but eventually he realized they were wrong and those walls he had up filling him with doubt and insecurities were broken down. He allowed his "high walls" to come down because Harry was worth the effort it took to bring them down.

So this one is a thank you for what you did to me. Why is it that thank you's are often bittersweet? I just hope I see you one day and you say to me, Oh.

This is what one calls a metaphor he does not mean a physical person he means the walls he had up for a long time making him feel so insecure bc of how some of the people around him that made him feel so worthless crushing his spirt for so long. The metaphorical person he is thanking for helping him become the person he is today is the wall he broke down. The hardships he dealt with when he was younger got him to where he is today.

For every question why you were my because

Why am I still fighting?

Why have I not given up yet?

The because to his question is his lover HERE is where he directly refers to his lover. Harry is someone who is worth fighting for and will always be one of the reasons he hasn't stopped fighting. He loves Harry more then anything and will fight until the day he can publicly hold his hand, publicly post pictures of them together, publicly go on dates and publicly declare his love for him.

Habit:

You're the habit that I can't break, you're the feeling I can't put down, you're the shiver that I can't shake, you're the habit that I can't break, you're the high that I need right now.

Written over and over throughout the song these are some of the most important lines he wrote about Harry. It's Louis way of saying even if he wanted to, even if it would be easier for him and Harry he can never let him go. Harry's version of this is in Adore You when he sings "You don't have to say you love me, you don't have to say nothing and you don't have to say you're mine. I'd walk through fire for you just let me adore you like it's the only thing I'll ever do." Harry is saying even if publicly you can never say you love me I know you do and I will do anything for you because I am madly in love and could never let you go. They both would go through hell along side each other then being partially happy and the other not being by their side. Harry is the only one he ever wants to spend his life with and no matter what hardships they are put through there is no scenario where being without each other is a better alternative.

I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be but honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

The line of all lines he took time away bc he was tired of the facade of faking what makes him happy, faking loving some girl, faking being anything but himself. He's back now and knows without a doubt who he is and is proud of it. No more confusion, no more lies he loves a curly haired dimpled boy and no one will tell him he can't love him. Harry's version of this is the chorus of Lights Up "All the lights couldn't put out the dark, runnin' through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are, know who you are. Do you know who you are? Shine step into the light, shine so bright sometimes, shine I'm not ever going back." They both tell you they have figured out whi they are and are very proud of who they have become and no one will tell them they can't be anything but themselves. They WILL scream it out loud and proud letting everyone know who they love one day [as if 16 and 18 year old H&L didn't already do that.]

And it's been ages, different stages come so far from Princess Park. I'll always need ya in front of me, in front of me

Oh the line that shocked every larrie I know. When he first sang this song and we first heard this line at a live concert everyone was shocked because we all knew what their was only one meaning to it. It was such a drastic line that the Elounors tried to claim he sang Starbuck [until the official lyrics came out.] Princess Park is the name of the apartment/flat complex all of the 1D boys lived in after the Xfactor BUT Niall, Liam and Zayn had their own apartment/flat while Louis and Harry shared one and they always made it very clear to everyone they met that they lived together.

So in a love song Louis sings about how him and his lover have come so far since their Princess Park days and his lover will always be the one he needs. Putting Harry's fav love song Sweet Creature plus Louis line about his lover together it would read " And, oh, we started two hearts in one home, come so far [since] princess park. I'll always need you in front of me. Wherever I go you bring me home" you do the math here. Their lyrics sink up just as much as their tattoos do.

Always You:

I went to Amsterdam without you and all I could do was think about you and oh-oh-oh I should've known

The Amsterdam line one of those lines that can be fact checked and proven to not be for Eleanor. So Louis took Eleanor to Amsterdam for her birthday at a gay bar no less back in July/August of 2017. Then a week or two later wrote the song Always You leaking a snippet of it to us where the lines of him singing about how he went to Amsterdam without his lover and his lover was all he could think about were heard. If he went with Eleanor then clearly that isn't his lover but we know this. Fast forward 2020 Walls comes out and we FINALLY hear the full song of Always You.

Louis said he only put the song on the album because the fans wanted it but if it was just because of us and the song wasn't THAT important to him why did he leak those lines back in 2017 that could easily be fact checked that the lover he sings about isn't Eleanor? It's like he wanted us to know it's not for Eleanor this line is important. So the fact that almost 3 years later he still put the song out shows the song means a lot to him and even in 2020 the meaning of the song still resonates with him and how it will Always be THIS one person that means everything to him. Funny though how his loudest, easily fact checkable songs [to not be about Eleanor] are the ones he downplays the most about importance to him.

I went to Tokyo to let it go. Drink after drink, but I still felt alone I should've known

When it comes to this song the Amsterdam line is Louis speaking [because he went to Amsterdam without Harry] while the Tokyo line is Harry speaking [because Harry went to Tokyo without Louis] and after Harry came back from Tokyo, Japan Louis was seen wearing a ton of new clothes from Japanese clothing brands. This is both of them saying I may be in a wonderful new place but it's not the same without you here. They are sad and alone and would rather be with each other then traveling around the world.

I'm wastin' my time when it was always you, always you. Chasin' the high, but it was always you, always you

I think this is self explanatory he sees no reason to even think about being with someone else because he knows without a shadow of doubt [thinks he always knew deep down] it was always Harry. There was never going to be anyone else for him but Harry.

I went from LAX to Heathrow. Walked through my door, but it felt nothing like home cause you're not home. Waiting to wrap your legs around me

LA and London are their two main residences and places they tend to go back and forth a lot. When he "goes home" if Harry is not there Louis feels as though it doesn't really feel like home because home to Louis is wherever Harry is. They can travel all around the world, meet a ton of new people but no place and others will ever make them feel fully satisfied unless their lover is by their side.

Fearless:

Cashin your weekend treasures, for a suit and time a second wife. Now I'm not saying that you could have done better just remember that I, I've seen that fire alight.

The first line is a nod to the industry itself and how to get your "weekend tresures" [be famous and earn a lot of money] you have to put up a fake facade, acting and looking the way they want you to because in their eyes if you are not the conventional person Hollywood wants they believe you will not make them the money they desire because we all know they only care about money nothing else. At a cost of the real them they must put on a fake smile, go out there sing doing nothing unconventional and they will get money and fame.

The second line yes they are happily together and Louis doesn't want or believe Harry will find someone else but he has seen Harry when all of this gets to be to much and when Harry puts up a facade of I've never had an issue with all of this Louis reminds him that I've seen you when your not fine, it's ok to not always be fine and I am here for you when things are not rainbows and sunshine.

Tell me do you still remember feeling young? And strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people? Just for tonight, look inside and spark that memory of you.

Refering back to Xfactor and early 1D days he's asking Harry if he remembers those days together back when they hadn't really gone through hardships yet and all the strength they had during their youth willing to take on the world together. He's asking him to bring that strength back and remember the younger version of himself. He's asking him to not give up because the younger him wouldn't want him to. It's been 10 years and they are still fighting, fighting as hard as they did when they were merely teenagers not knowing what lied ahead but wer happy as long as it meant they had each other in the end.

Now if happiness is always measured by the life we design, the car on the drive then you should feel better then ever but you know as well as I it's all lies.

This line speaks volumes as stated before with Fearless we have references to the industry and even just life in general. From the outside looking in they got money, fame, material things, they have it all and if deciding who is more happy in life was based on those things then they would win but Louis is telling Harry we both know that isn't the case. The industry isn't sunshine and rainbows, they treat people like shit and strip away everything about a person if they don't think their real self will sell. They only want to make a profit off them and don't care about how they feel about any of it. Everything is a lie the truth must be counseled.

Perfect Now:

You say to me your jeans don't fit, you don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss. I wish you could see my point of view as someone staring back at you.

This song is personally underrated to me I love this song. This song is so uplifting when you are feeling insecure and negative about yourself. Louis personally had a certain curly haired boy in mind when he wrote this. He's talking about Harry's insecurities with himself and Louis wishes Harry could see things from his view and how amazing and perfect Harry is to him.

Cause everybody is looking at you now. I guess some queens don't need a crown and I know why. Even when your tears are following now still someone, you're perfect now.

One of those it's definitely not for Eleanor moments. We all know [especially during fine line era] everyone was talking about Harry, knows his name and eyes turn to him when he walks in the room. Louis is so proud of Harry and is happy everyone else sees what he sees but Harry doesn't always see what others see in him and during those times where he is not already Louis is saying I will be right there with you. I am with you through the good and the bad because even when tears are running down his face Harry is still perfect to Louis.

Cause you're the only one when it's said and done. You make me feel like being someone good to you. Even at your worst you steal the scene.

No matter where life takes them, no matter how hard it gets Louis is reassuring Harry he will always be there by his side. At the end of it all when the final act is over and the curtain is closeting he will still be there because there will never be anyone else he wants to be next to at the end of all of this. Louis looks into Harry's eyes he watches all he does and is intrance wanting nothing more then being the one to be there when he is down and always being the who makes the pain go away even if for a moment.

Defenseless:

I hate to say, but I do we're sleeping on our problems like we'll solve them in our dreams. We walk up early morning and they're still under our sheets.

*Sigh* this is reality setting in things aren't perfect. In their line of work, being who they are, being a closeted gay couple things aren't going to be perfect 100% of the time. Most of the time they would rather ignore all the shit they are forced to indure but Louis realizes just ignoring it all won't make it go away he will wake up each morning next to Harry knowing those issues will always be around by neither fault of their own. He hopes one day they will get to be a happily open couple who posts pics online, goes out on public dates and gets to live the domestic life they always wanted but right now that just isn't their reality. Their reality is I can only look at you for more then 5 seconds or touch you when no one is around to notice.

Been up all night, all night running my lines but it's only the truth. Been up all night not sure how to say this right got so much to loose. / You just keep on building up your fences but I've been so defenseless.

Another metaphor here Louis wondering how to bring this up to Harry and not upset him. The last thing Louis ever wants is for him to be the reason Harry has a frown upon is wonderful face. Harry is more the one to bottle up and ignore the negative things while Louis is the more practical one and he knows he has a ton to loose [Harry and his love] if he doesn't go about this situation right.

No you don't have to keep on being strong for you and me acting like you feel no pain I know you do. And I can't get inside your head when you're lost in your pride but you don't have a thing to prove.

Harry is the one who bottles up his pain, puts on the fake smiles, and makes everyone believe he is perfectly fine. He acts like he can handle what he is forced to indure 100% of the time but Louis sees through that and just wants him to open up more. He knows Harry feels just as much pain as he does and wishes he wouldn't hide it and pretend everything is always fine. Louis wants to be able to help Harry through the pain and to let know he will always be there for him no matter what so don't pretend your always fine just to make others around him, make Louis feel better.

I hope I'm not asking to much just wanna be loved by you. And I'm to tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you.

Louis is tired of pretending, wishes everyone understood, wishes what he is asking for wasn't to much. All he wants is to be loved by Harry and live the domestic life he always invisioned with Harry and no one else but his live is not that simple.

Only The Brave:

Pour mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history. I'm breaking my own rules, I'm crying like a fool. It's a church of burnt romances and I'm to far gone to pray. It's a solo song and it's only for the brave.

I'm sure you understand Louis is gay but if you didn't this line right here is all you need to understand that. No straight man is going to write or sing those lines. He's gone down a path of self discovery and figuring himself out he knows he is and he is to far gone to turn back now but he has no desire to even if he could turn back. He is proud of who he is and doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him.

If the truth tell, darling, you fell, like their ain't enough dying stars in your sky. It's a tell tale and it's only hello, hello, no goodbyes.

It's only hello no goodbyes meaning the confusion, the is this for life between Louis and Harry questions are gone. They aren't turning back, they aren't saying goodbye, they are only saying hello to what lies ahead. The truth is clear, their story is clear, they fell for one another and Harry metaphorical speaking fell for Louis in a way where his star shines brighter then ever just by being with him.

Pour mercy, mercy on me, I'll fall upon my knees and they'll say, I told you so come on when you know you know. All the lonely shadows dancing from the cradle to the grave.

When you know you know they knew right from the start it's me and you until the end. Some won't agree but in the end that does not matter to Louis because he only cares about Harry being by his side. He will not apologize for falling in love he loves who he loves and that is it.

We Made It Directors Cut MV:

If the lyrics alone don't tell you the full story then the music video mini movie should. It sums up everything I explained. Louis being forced to do things he doesn't want, it effecting his relationship to the point their drowning [Harry in Falling MV] but manage to survive. Louis lover never speaking but the girl with ties to the evil one in charge does until eventually Louis breaks free from the man in charge controlling him and Louis finally gets to run away with his lover because he made sure they would make it in the end.

Ending:

Walls is about self discovery, learning to overcome your insecurities "breaking down your walls" no matter how hard it may be and Louis understanding he met the one at 18 and how Harry will always be worth fighting for, THEY will always be worth it bc they knew even as young as they were they were going to get married, have kids and grow old together. So you still want to tell me how any song on Walls is about a break up or Louis moving on from Harry because I certainly don't see it. Walls is Louis perspective on their 10 year relationship and his support and love towards Harry if you want Harry's perspective and his support and love toward Louis you would have to dive into HS and FL but that's a whole other analysis.

They have not given up on each other even if at times it would have been easier they didn't so I will never give up on them. They continue to fight I have been in this fandom supporting them for 10 years watching their continous fight and I will be here another 10 years supporting them if that is how long it takes for them to get the life they knew they wanted when they were only 16 and 18.

[myohmine]

Folklore Anon Submission

Hi! So I’m the anon who said that folklore has larry songs. Here’s my outlook on it :

WILLIAM BOWERY

So first, I just wanna talk about Taylor’s co-writer William Bowery. We all know by now that William Bowery doesn’t exist, and that the name is a pseudonym.   

 I don’t think William is either Louis or Harry, I think it’s both of them. I think both of them sat down with Taylor and wrote songs, because that’s the only theory that actually makes sense. One of Taylor’s other co-writers (I think it was Aaron) used male pronouns when asked who William Bowery is.

 Harry has used a pseudonym before, as Mick Greenberg and wrote a bunch of songs for other artists and stuff. And William is Louis’s middle name + the name of the Adore You music video fish, so. 

(also, ‘folklore’ was literally released on the same day as the 1D reunion)

Also, I know that Taylor said William only wrote betty and exile, but I think William co-wrote on other songs too. Taylor just didn’t say it.

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

I am 100% sure that this song is definitely a larry song. The parallels are just too much. 

I think that this is actually from a third person point of view, not from either Louis or Harry’s POVs. The lyrics are lines like “make sure nobody sees YOU leave” , “like YOU don’t even exist” , “keep YOUR head down”, “YOU bought just for HIM” , etc. It’s telling a story from a third person POV.

‘Illicit affairs’ is literally about a secret relationship, and the song also uses only male pronouns (”leave the perfume on the shelf, that you bought just for him”).

There are the lyrics : 

What started in beautiful rooms Ends with meetings in parking lots

So remember how back in the early/fetus days of larry, Harry and Louis were much more open and stuff? Like they would always cuddle, touch, etc. in interviews and send romantic tweets to each other, but then after 2011/12 it all stopped. Harry and Louis were forced apart by management and became much more secretive, so this line makes sense.

Then there are the lines:

And stolen stares They show their truth one single time But they lie, and they lie, and they lie A billion little times

So you know how the way that Louis and Harry look at each other is a big larry proof? So basically, the way they look at each other shows the truth about them, but they have to lie about their relationship and say it’s fake. 

Also, the lines:

A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

matches the lyrics in Meet Me In The Hallway (which is about Louis because MMITH has male pronouns) :

Give me some morphine Is there any more to do? 

~

'Cause once you go without it Nothing else will do

 Not to mention that the lines :

And you wanna scream “Don't call me kid Don't call me baby”

matches the line in To Be So Lonely (which is about Louis because of the “don’t blame me for falling, I was just a little boy” lyric) :

Don't call me "baby" again

And we can’t forget about the line :

Look at this idiotic fool that you made me

matches the lyrics in Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart (the song that Harry wrote for Ariana Grande) :

And I'll still be a fool, I'm a fool for you 

Now we all know that JALBOYH is about Louis because 1) The lyrics are “you were just with her” which means the person Harry is singing about was with a woman, so the person the song is about is man. Also, Ariana said that she didn’t change any of the lyrics, which means that those were the original pronouns. And 2) Ariana said that the song is written about Harry’s secret lover.

The lyric “you showed me colours I can’t see with anyone else” matches with a lyric in OOTW: “The rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming colour.” I’ve seen your theory on OOTW and how think its from Louis’s POV, which makes sense. I’ve seen an anon of yours say that it’s about Taylor and Harry double-bearding, which also makes sense. So either way, OOTW is larry (lol).

HOAX

So my theory for ‘hoax’ is pretty short. This song is from Harry’s perspective.

In this song, the lyrics are :

You know I left a part of me back in New York

And in ‘Don’t Let It Break Your Heart’ by Louis, the lyrics are :

I know you left a part of you back in New York

Now, there is NO WAY that these two lyrics are a coincidence. They’re way too specific. Harry also has a song called ‘Ever Since New York’ which is about his father’s death. 

The lyrics match with the lyrics in “Love You Goodbye”, written by Louis. In LYG, the lyrics are “My heart’s already breaking, go on twist the knife” and in ‘hoax’, the lyrics are “MY twisted knife”.

‘hoax’ also has matching lyrics with If I Could Fly, written by Harry. 

In ‘hoax’, the lyrics are :

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart

And in IICF, the lyrics are :

I've got scars even though they can't always be seen

The ‘scars’ reference is also there in ‘cardigan’ (”you drew stars, around my scars, but now I’m bleeding”).

There’s also the “don’t want no other shade of blue, but you” line. Louis has blue eyes + there’s a colour called ‘Louis Blue’ (which is the colour that Harry always uses).  

‘hoax’ is clearly talking about someone Harry is still with who has hurt him greatly, but ‘don’t want no other shade of blue but you’ and ‘my only one’ indicates that despite that hurt, he still loves them. We do know that Louis had broken Harry’s heart at some point (because of all the songs that Harry wrote in 2013).

THE 1

I don’t really think this is a larry song, but I have seen a few parallels so I wanted to add it in here.

In this song, the lyrics are:

And it would've been sweet If it could've been me

And in Lights Up by Harry, the lyrics are “be so sweet if things just stayed the same”.  They’re basically the same lyric. 

There’s also the line “Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool”. Yes, I know that Louis and Harry met each other when they were 16 and 18, but they were also in their twenties during their relationship.

The “we were something don’t you think so?” could also be referring to Larry. Louis and Harry were indeed something, Larry is one of the biggest conspiracy theories, and it’s still going on 10 years later. 

EXILE

I’m still a little bit unsure about whether or not ‘exile’ is a larry song, but I decided to put it in here since I’ve seen some theories about it.

Exile is a duet (similar to ‘I Love You’) about a breakup between a couple. I’m guessing that Justin Vermon is Harry’s POV and Taylor is Louis’s POV.

Exile has a lot of parallels with ‘Only Angel’ (and a few other songs). I know that lots of people think OA is about Kendall Jenner, but I think that Harry originally wrote it about Louis and just switched around the pronouns and stuff.

In OA, the lyrics are “I got splinters in my knuckles crawling across the floor,” and in ‘exile’, the lyrics are “like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me”.

In OA, the lyrics are “as I went about my business through the warning signs”, and in ‘exile’, the lyrics are : “Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)”.

In ‘exile’ the lyrics are “holdin' all this love out here in the hall”,  and Harry has an entire song called “Meet Me In The Hallway”. In OA, the lyrics are “end up meeting in the hallway every single time”.

~

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending

In ‘hoax’, the lyrics are “you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for?”.

In ‘Something Great’,the lyrics are “the script was written and I couldn’t change a thing”. In ‘exile’, the lyrics are : “I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around)”. 

In the song ‘Fine Line’, the lyrics are “We’ll be a fine line”. In ‘exile’, the lyrics are “we always walked a very thin line”.

THE LOVE TRIANGLE (AUGUST, BETTY, CARDIGAN)

Okay, so I saw this theory about it on Tumblr, which makes sense, especially if you line it up with larry. Here is the link to the post: https://i-said-louaylor-rights.tumblr.com/post/635330703088926720/folklores-fictional-love-triangle-theory

You need to read that post first, because if you don’t, then you won’t understand my theory on it.

---

AUGUST

This song is from Harry’s point of view. In August 2011, Harry and Louis went to the Leeds festival alone together. The Leeds trip was obviously very, very special and memorable to Harry, because he wore his Leeds bracelet for 8 months after the festival, even taping it together when it broke and kept wearing it until nothing was left. He even put ‘Leeds’ on the map in the Adore You extended music video. 

Louis also wore his Leeds bracelet for 2 months after their trip, but started dating Eleanor just 2 weeks after they returned from the festival. So, maybe Harry felt Louis was never his, cause they spent a memorable weekend together, but when they returned, Louis got a girlfriend and Harry was devastated.

This song also has matching lyrics with ‘I Love You’, the song that Harry wrote for Alex & Sierra.

In ‘august’ the lyrics are :

Your back Beneath the sun Wishing I could write my name on it

In ‘I Love You’ the lyrics are :

You ran your finger down my back And you spelled out your name

ILY is a duet, and Sierra sings those lines. So if ‘august’ is from Harry’s POV, I’m guessing that in ILY, Sierra’s lines are Louis’s lines and Alex’s lines are Harry’s lines. 

There’s also the lyrics “Cancel my plans just in case you’d call, and say meet me behind the mall”, which sounds like it’s at hiding a relationship (like a secret relationship). 

BETTY

This song is from Louis’s point of view, it has to be. I’m guessing that the other girl this song talks about is probably Eleanor. 

In ‘Sweet Creature’ the lyrics are “had a talk about where it’s going wrong” and in ‘betty’, the lyrics are “Betty, I know where it all went wrong”.

CARDIGAN

This is another song from Harry’s point of view. 

In ‘Falling’, the lyrics are :

What if I'm down? What if I'm out? What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

~

What if I'm someone I don't want around?

~

What if you're someone I just want around?

And in ‘cardigan’, the lyrics are:

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

Then there are the lyrics :

I, I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy

We all know that Louis probably did everything he can to try to be free. And this fandom has always referred to Louis as Peter Pan, so it makes sense.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars Was all we needed

In ‘Two Ghosts’, the lyrics are “this was all we used to need”.

'Cause I knew you Steppin’ on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain

In ‘Olivia’, the lyrics are “this isn't the stain of a red wine, I'm bleeding love”. 

---

in the 1, the lyrics are 'and its another day waking up alone'. In From the Dining Table, the lyrics are 'woke up alone in this hotel room' and in Falling, the lyrics are 'I'm in my bed, and you're not here'.

~

1D has a song called ‘Summer Love’ (which Harry and Louis did write on) and in August, the lyrics are ‘So much for summer love and saying us. Also, the lyrics are “Cause you were mine for the summer” and that’s kind of what the song August is about.

~

So yeah, this is my interpretation on how folklore is connected to larry. what are your thoughts?

I figure since I’m gonna take way longer than first anticipated I should put AWESOME theories from my dear folklore theorist anon out here first and I’ve put additional comments they sent me later up there too 😳

[arigatouiris]

out of my league // t.h — 05

Pairing: Tom Holland x Critic! Reader [I use female pronouns]

Warnings: swearing; eventual fluff; angst; hurt/comfort; pining; a little bit of cliche because come on.

A/N: I’m going along with the Mark Hamill thing, just for gags idk. Anyway, as for Aditi; I’m from India and I really don’t see a lot of representation on here, so I decided to add her as a side character. Hope ya’ll like this chapter~  Also, if you want me to add you to the series taglist, just drop a note or comment! ^^

Word count: 3171 

Series Masterlist

 04 | 05 | 06 

It came as a surprise to everyone a day after that when (y/n) decided to stick to the desk. Susannah even offered her another break (but, she was hesitant while doing so and blamed herself as the reason for which (y/n) declined), but (y/n) had made up her mind.

    “But why desk? I thought you hated the desk!” Susannah exclaimed, confused out of her mind.

    “Takes my mind off things. This is a vacation when compared to what I have to do otherwise.” (y/n) said, sheepishly.

    “You love reviewing though.” Bruce mumbled, but no one really paid heed to what he was saying.

    “Ever since Tom Holland made it easier for everyone around here to breathe, you should take that as a sign that you can get back to your normal life, (y/n). Maybe, even send him a thank you—”

    “I’m not sending him any thank you notes, he’s the reason everything began! He can’t create a problem and take credit for solving it.” (y/n) didn’t think she was being harsh.

Not doing this, she reminded herself. Turning on her heel, she headed to the desk she was appointed a few days ago and opened her mail. An exasperated sigh exited her lips when she noticed the odd number of mails, each containing a document for her to copy edit and review.

    She’d be lying if she said she didn’t at all feel thankful that Tom solved the issue with that one Instagram story. First, it took him that long to make it (which meant he went against what his manager said again, and who knows what trouble he got into for doing that?) What trouble can he get into? He’s an actor! (y/n) rolled her eyes as she continued her thoughts. Second, this was all his fault in the first place—considering how Jean Marcel is doing quite well writing crappy scripts for smaller TV shows at the moment. And third, (y/n) had had enough of an actor trying to win her over with his charm. Of course, some part of Tom Holland wanted to say sorry and thought it would work because he’s an actor. And an actor appearing on your doorstep is a big deal, as well! And some part of (y/n) wanted to accept such an apology only because Tom was a celebrity, and this didn’t sit well with her.

I’m out of his league, it had become a mantra now. I will never accept his apology. In the past, (y/n) was known to be someone who used the word ‘never’ a tad bit too much. Whether this aspect of her personality died down with age didn’t phase her at the moment. This was Tom Holland, an actor by profession, and a man who had screwed up otherwise.

    “So, are ya gonna thank the woman who showed you lovely Tom’s story yesterday?” Aditi’s voice appeared out of nowhere.

Rolling her eyes, (y/n) looked up from her desk to see a grinning Indian woman, her shades still on and her smile, rather annoying. Aditi was the personification of sass.

    “He’s not lovely Tom.”

    “That’s all you’re going to correct from that sentence? Wow, (y/n), you’re going soft on me.”

    “Aditi, what’s up?”

Taking her shades off, Aditi grumbled something before turning to her friend, “How’re you holding up?”

    “I’m better now.”

    “Like Post Malone?”

(y/n) turned to her computer, ignoring her statement, thus inevitably shooing her annoying friend away. Aditi laughed as she walked away, talking about Tom Holland being a savior. No one sees it, (y/n) thought to herself, feeling her ears turn pink. Everything that I had to go through, all those mails I had to read! If they knew even half of it, they’d know that Tom Holland isn’t to thank for here. I can’t believe that it has to be explained to them, she shut her eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. I won’t be doing the explaining. I’ve had it. I don’t want to ever associate myself with Tom Holland ever again.

    While it was surprising to everyone that (y/n) decided to stay back at the desk for the moment, it wasn’t as surprising as it was for (y/n) herself. She has always hated the desk for as long as she could remember; her first week at the job and she dreaded it and wanted out. Her confidence levels were booming then, she was an enthusiastic cutlet of pure passion, she wouldn’t let the desk mar her confidence in anyway from achieving what she truly wanted. However, now, especially after the internet fiasco, (y/n) had come close to giving up.

Mental exhaustion hit her harder than it ever did before; she never knew people were capable of such hate, such anger over something they didn’t clearly understand. If (y/n) wasn’t being existential, she was being cautious. People were a force of nature, and angering a crowd proved drastic for her. She always considered her job like surfing, it’s never a safe sport. However, even a surfer tends to take a break after almost drowning. But the breath of fresh air had hit her lungs, she had found her release and everything was slowly going back to their place—Tom was leaving her alone, and she could return to critiquing.

    (y/n) should be happy, but she felt nothing of the sort. She felt absolutely nothing. She felt nothing a lot these days, ever since the scandal; she’s cried a few times, but she mostly found herself feeling nothing, being nothing. She felt empty—as if whatever makes her feel and hurt has been surgically removed, leaving her hollowed out like a shell.

The mere mention of Tom did something to her; she would feel agitated, an uncontrolled force of ire would fill her veins. She didn’t know if this was for the actor, or the person or the entire ordeal that had taken place. She didn’t know if she was wrong in blaming only him, or being mad at only him—but from her shoes, he was all she could see. 

     It was as if someone could draw lines pointing toward what caused all these problems and all lines met at Tom Holland. In a way, she admired his strength. Just a few weeks of internet hate turned her into a hollow shell of who she used to be; Tom does this every single day. He couldn’t be who he wanted to be because he was a celebrity; all his shows and interviews were interviewing Tom Holland, the actor who played Spiderman and Lionel, and not Tom Holland, the person whose face turns red because of the weather.

However, she was not in any position to be empathetic to the perpetrator of her sorrow. Whether he wanted to or not, he had impacted her mental health more than adulthood had; and he had done it in a span of a few weeks. Less than what adulthood itself took. While comparing her sudden outbreak to adulthood, (y/n) understood that this pain was given the right credit. That the hurt she had been inflicted with demanded her response.

    She, therefore, could not forgive Tom Holland, the actor, the person, the phenomenon.

Even Tom Holland had his phone fall flat on his nose as he held it to his face in the dark as he was lying down. It didn’t matter to the phone that he was Tom Holland, gravity worked even if you’re attractive. 

Grumbling in pain, Tom immediately checked for any signs of blood spilling from his nostrils, and sighed in relief when there was none. Letting out a couple of coughs, and pushing one leg out of the corner of the blanket that was covering him, Tom was finally comfortable again. It was close to 2:30 a.m., but he couldn’t sleep. Tom always had trouble falling asleep, but he normally never let it embrace him like he did that night.

    His eyes scrolled through Google search, his tongue popping out in instinct, and his eyes landed on what he wanted to look for.

    Birds of a Feather — Review by (y/n) (l/n) | London Daily

He licked his lips instinctively before clicking on the link. He scrolled to her profile in the bottom and clicked on it (since he had already read the review multiple times since then). Tom was reading the script for a new advert he was sent electronically, till it was around 1 a.m., and it was after that when he tried sleeping. When he couldn’t, he browsed through Instagram for a bit, laughed at a few funny videos on cats and dogs, but all of this he was trying to do to avoid thinking of her.

    But, once he thought of her, she stuck around. He shut his eyes and breathed, recalling her face as she smiled at him, sitting across from him in the coffeeshop. He’d pictured over ten times on how that conversation would have gone if those girls hadn’t interrupted them. He’d wondered if she’d tell him more about herself, and he wondered if he could ask her why she didn’t follow him on Instagram (taking a careful moment there, because he didn’t want to seem creepy). He wondered if she’d smile at him often the way she normally smiled, and he wondered if she’d reserve a special smile only for him.

It was almost as if he was resisting all these thoughts by not thinking of her and thinking of everything else; but all else seemed mundane in front of her.

He recalled every single detail about her from that day in the coffeeshop. Her Emilia Clarke smile when he was surprised she drank her coffee black. Her laugh—oh goodness—her laugh. When he thought about the way she laughed, as though she owned the air around her, Tom’s heart thundered inside his chest, a symphony on its own.

    He looked at all the reviews she had written, over a 100 of them, and scrolled to the very first one. He could feel his heart beating as he was scrolling through her pages, almost as if he was doing something so secretive that he couldn’t let the world know yet. Tom wasn’t thinking and perhaps, a crush can do that to a person; where their body knows what the mind wants, and was working on finding out more and more and more about the person in question.

He found her Star Wars reviews, all of them stacked together. He slowly began reading each and every single one—some were not longer than 900 words, some critiques were over 2000. He absorbed the way she thought in some of the movies he’s also seen, and he wanted more. 

He searched for her name on Facebook after that and found her in one go, chuckling when he discovered that she hadn’t actually deactivated her Facebook account. He stalked her innocently, careful not to like anything, careful not to make it seem like he had tread on a path he wasn’t allowed. Tom almost felt like he was trespassing, but this didn’t harm anyone.

    She likes Star Wars, he thought before adorning a smile. He took a look at one of her status updates about Mark Hamill. If Mark Hamill ever replied to a tweet I made, I’d die. I’d just cry and die right then. Tom laughed, before scrolling past and seeing more of her. Here was a whole person, whose life was intertwined with an Instagram story he had put up.

    “I’ve met Mark Hamill, you know,” Tom said to absolutely no one. “He’s such a nice guy.”

And Tom fantasized all night over introducing her to Hamill, seeing her melt, or cry and die like she had written. Tom knew this was incredibly foolish of him to be thinking the way he was about someone he knew nothing about (of course, knowing she likes Mark Hamill didn’t count). Oh, but he wanted to. He wanted to know her. He wanted to ease things and not have this radio silence with her. He’s an actor, and there would be so many people he’d never ever meet, who desperately wanted to meet him. But this was perhaps the first time, where Tom desperately wanted to meet someone, and being an actor didn’t help.

    It was as if the tables were turned here. To him, (y/n) was now the celebrity, far out of his reach, pristine and wonderful, hardworking and gorgeous, close to ideal even—but one fact remained. Tom shut his phone and put it aside, noticing the time was close to 4 in the morning. She’s out of my league, Tom chuckled, before hoping to dream about her.

(y/n) woke up to her phone buzzing. It was several minutes before her alarm could wake her, but she was not complaining. She blinked a couple of times before checking her phone, and noticing that the message was from an unknown number. Sitting up, she held the phone in her hands and read through the message.

I hope everything is alright now. I sincerely hope you don’t have any more mails coming your way, bad ones. I’m sorry I can’t tell you this in person, for screwing up last time. Have a good day, (y/n). :) 

There’s a smiley in the end, she thought before frowning. She knew who it was from. She didn’t want to wake up with this being the first thing she saw. Sighing, she closed the messages app before getting on with her day. If he was expecting a reply, then her behavior was a clear giveaway. She was ghosting him. 

     It took her close to an hour to get ready, have breakfast and begin her journey to the office that morning. She liked how London was sunny that morning, and not gloomy like it was almost every other day. Just as she reached office, greeting people she knew with a nice smile, she spotted Aditi already waiting by her desk. Cocking an eyebrow at her friend, she hopping toward her to ask her what happened.

    “You won’t believe who called me to ask for your number,” Aditi said, smirking. “You most definitely won’t like who it is, but I’m warning you, be nice. You need to be. May the Force be with you.”

(y/n) rolls her eyes before whispering, “Was it Tom Holland?”

Aditi blinks like she heard her friend say the most idiotic thing possible. She scoffed and shook her head at (y/n)’s imprudence.

    “Oh, please! Why in the world would Tom Holland call a beat reporter? No, it was someone else that you don’t like and you’re going to need to be at your best—”

Almost as if on cue, (y/n)’s phone started to ring. Blinking at Aditi, she moved aside a bit, placing her bag on her desk and picked up the call.

    “Hello?”

    “(y/n)?” The voice sounded bored, almost as if she didn’t even want to be talking.

(y/n) felt all the energy leave her body when she identified the caller.

    “Jenny. What a pleasant surprise.” Robotic and not genuine.

    “Alright, so I don’t know what the whole deal is with you and Tom, but he sent me a rather sharp mail talking about how disappointed he was with the content I broadcasted on my show, and that I had to call you and apologize for slandering your name.”

    “He did?” (y/n) was confused.

    “Yes,” There was a sigh, “He did. And he was demanding so I had to call you. Why else would I call you?” Jenny didn’t have to explicitly state that she hated (y/n), all Jenny had to do was talk.

    “Thanks for calling, Jen. Keep up with the great work!” (y/n) faked enthusiasm, and heard Jenny groan before ending the call.

    “Jennifer fucking Campbell. I can’t believe it.” (y/n) breathed, letting out a laugh.

    “But, why did she want to call you?” Aditi asked.

(y/n) sighed. She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to tell Aditi that Tom had asked Jenny to call. Aditi’s response was already in order. She’d ask her friend to send Tom a thank you note or a bouquet or whatever it was that they’d send with thank you notes. (y/n) shrugged before dropping the topic and getting to her desk. She had decided to ghost Tom, and even a rather hilarious apology from Jenny wouldn’t do.

An hour later, (y/n)’s phone beeped. Taking a breather, she checked her phone to find she had a new follow request. Blinking, she clicked on the Instagram notification and groaned. A ‘tomholland2013’ had sent her a new request. What is he doing? She thought before declining it, and refreshing the page. A second later, there was another request. From Tom.

I am not doing this right now, she thought before ignoring the request; she felt her cheeks burn up, and a ghost of a smile was threatening to make its way up to her lips. She wouldn’t cave. No, she scolded herself before straightening her reaction. I am not doing this!

A moment later, she let out a squeak and covered her face with her hands. She could control her reactions, but her face was still quite warm. As much as she loved her ability to ignore unwanted people in her life, ignoring Tom Holland was a challenge.

    “What’s gotten into you?” Haz asked, petting Tessa on the head.

    “What do you mean?” Tom said, looking up from his phone, a smile still on his face.

Harrison pointed to Tom’s eerie smile, disgusted, “That. You’re smiling like a horse.”

Tom scoffed before muttering a ‘sod off’ and getting back to his phone. Haz blinked before looking at Harry and Sam, who were coming into the living room. Pointing to his friend, Harrison waited for Harry or Sam to respond on their own.

    “He’s been like this since last night.” Sam said, bored.

    “He’s been readin’, can you believe it? I even peeped into what he was looking at so intensely, but they were just words.” Harry said, shrugging.

Haz looked at Tom, who was ignoring the whole thing.

    “Could be smut.” Sam suggested.

Haz rolled his eyes, “He’s not reading porn, Sam.”

    “Whatever he’s readin’s sure making him smile like a fucking creep, that’s for sure.” Harry said, letting out a laugh.

Harrison let out a sigh. He looked at his friend and wondered. The only other time that Tom was out of wits was back in BRIT when he was obsessed with this other girl in class. The crush didn’t last very long, but similar signs were present back then—now grown in intensity. Haz nodded to himself once before minding his own business. The answers would come to him, as they always did.

It’s Tom. And he was Haz. It was meant to happen.  

series taglist:

@strangemaximoff, @aestheticgaybish, @noobmaster63, @why-are-all-the-teens-gay, @wonders-of-the-multiverse, @boushalaivre, @jackiehollanderr, @nerdypisces160, @yourwonderbelle, @quackson606, @stickyqueenbouquetsstuff, @fandoms-stuff, @danicarosaline

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations, GHOST! You’ve been accepted as PAN.

I’ll be honest, Ghost, when I say Eoin wasn’t originally a character whose skeleton brought out some deep emotional connection in me while I wrote it. But really, that made me all the more excited to see what someone would come up with, especially when I read your app and you made me really feel for Eoin. You gave his fighting a reason and brought direction to anger and made me want to know what’s next for him. I can’t wait for you to show me that on the dash, now!

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

Out of Character Information:

NAME/ALIAS: Ghost

PRONOUNS: He/him

AGE: 30

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: CET, but mostly operate on American terms; while I try to put in 100% where activity is concerned, I’m at the whims and mercy of both autism and ADHD, so it’s what it is

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Eoin Dougherty / Pan

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Cis man, he/him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS:

Pan, god of the wild, and wild he is. Eoin Dougherty hasn’t historically been an easy person to deal with. He’s the still waters that hold deep, dragging depths; the cyanide in your drink as your nose detects the bitter almonds, but far too late; the thick mist with the sense of danger beyond what you can see. It would be a lot safer for everyone involved if he was outwardly as wild as the mess of emotion inside him. But on the surface, he’s calm, unassuming, not someone you’d accuse of discord. It’s the calm on the surface that makes him unpredictable, and Eoin isn’t one to give out his thoughts and opinions for free. He listens, he watches, and when he disagrees, he’ll let you know, with actions rather than words. He’s the trouble in his own life, and his problems exist simply because he acts before he speaks — one day you’ll assume you’re okay, the next you’re getting your ribs beaten in with a four-by-four in a back alley. Anyone might think that he’s a very together person, quiet and good at following orders, but inside he’s an ever raging storm of dissent, of mistrust, of toeing the line and going a little further. The acid that drips until it’s burnt a hole through your fuse box, lighting up your whole house.

BIO: (tw: abuse)

Eoin had a rough start. Born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts, his parents were a (self-)righteous cop and a housewife trying to keep the household together. Getting by on a cop’s salary was hard on everyone involved, and it would’ve worked out fine if his mother didn’t have to bear the brunt of his father’s rage. Perhaps it was a feeling of inadequacy, or frustration with the way his life stagnated, or feeling failed by society despite putting his life on the line every day, or perhaps it was a combination of all of the above; Eoin never bothered to psychoanalyse his father, and furthermore, never really came to a point where he thought he deserved it. Whatever the reason or non-reason, it lead his parents to fight almost every night. He and his mother would walk on eggshells whenever his father was at home, and the slightly comment or look would set him off. He’d had to watch his father’s fist connect with his mother’s face far too many times in his lifetime, had to listen to his mother cry quietly as he crawled into bed with her — the only way he knew how to comfort her.

From a young age, Eoin knew something was different about him. After another violent night, hearing his parents yelling at each other, there would be tiny handprints in his stuffed animals. His plastic soldiers would turn into a molten, bubbling mess in his hands as he listened to the cries of his mother and the rage of his father, alone in his room. He was almost a teenager when his father forbade his mother to buy him any more toys; the assumption was that he was breaking them on purpose and thus didn’t deserve nice things.

Teenage years didn’t bring much improvement. Eoin was quiet and never participated in class. He had no friends, so he was an easy target for bullies — or so everyone thought. Fighting became more and more common for him, and by the time he was fourteen, Eoin Dougherty was a name well-known by staff and his principle. His father accused his mother of being too soft on him, except his mother was the only one who didn’t blame him for the dark shadows in his eyes. His mother would always be his soft spot, his laughter and smiles, his safe place. When his father had to work late were the happiest nights for both of them, watching movies and eating popcorn until he fell asleep in her arms.

One night changed everything, as often it does when dramatic things happen. Another day at school of fighting, his upper lip still bloody, knuckles still busted, it hadn’t been his mother who had picked him up from school. It hadn’t been the soft sigh of his name, a gentle hand on his cheek, the sweet voice telling him he couldn’t keep doing this. Instead, it had been his father. The soft sigh was an angry growl, the gentle hand was a slap, and the sweet voice was a snarl telling him what a continuous disappointment he proved himself to be. Dragged out of the car by his hair, he would’ve been at the wrong end of his father’s wrath if his mother hadn’t intervened for his sake and taken the brunt of it.

There was something about seeing his father’s hand around his mother’s throat, about her head banging into the wall, about the blood dripping down her temple, that made something snap in Eoin’s gut. Without so much as a word, Eoin had grabbed his father’s face, and like the plastic soldiers from his childhood, watched his father’s face melt away without so much as a blink or a twitch of the eye, to the chorus of screaming from both his parents.

The thing with cops was that they backed each other up, so the news of his father’s death — visceral murder, really — didn’t go over well at the station. Eoin and his mother knew that this would put him away for a very long time under normal circumstances, but they’d both heard the stories about mutants and the rumours what would become of them. His mother had told him to keep his mouth shut whatever happened, and that’s what Eoin did. Even as the police arrived, even as she explained what happened, even as she told them how she’d poured the acid on her husband’s face, having snapped after the years of domestic abuse.

The sentence was fifteen years in prison, and her son cast off into the foster care system, with no extended family who would touch that particular situation with a fifty-foot pole. His secret was safe, but that was the only thing that was safe.

No foster family would have him long enough for him to settle and find some sense of normalisation, so Eoin spent most of his time out on the street, doing everything illegal and then some. Drugs, breaking and entering, assault, battery, theft, carjacking, even extortion. By the time he was eighteen, he’d made as many friends as he had enemies, and the system ejected him like trash — no prospects, he was a high school dropout with a mean streak, a reputation, and a talent for winning and ending fights. If things had gone on as they had, he would’ve lived a hard, fast life and a short one at that.

But they didn’t go on; a few years on the street, a person with a bone to pick seeing his powers and outing him as a mutant, life on the street turned into life on the road, dodging authorities and anyone who would care enough to out him or snatch him off the street, whisk him away to some unknown place to do who knows what with him. He trusted no one, and everyone was suspicious. Even as he arrived in Chicago, more lenient to his kind, and got in league with the Collective, trust was far from Eoin’s mind. He did as he was told, went where he was ordered, and watched, listened.

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS:

STELLA LI — Eoin is used to being a disappointment. Overall, that’s where he dwells, doesn’t care to prove otherwise, because giving people standards meant having something to live up to, and that just wasn’t what he cared to do. Eternal underachiever, maybe. But Stella boils his blood, not because he doesn’t want to disappoint them, but because he was written off on one mistake, a mistake that wasn’t technically even his mistake. What pisses him off even more is that he wants to prove he’s more than just that one incident, that he cares so much to try to lift himself from the disappointment he’s marinated in all his life, and prove to them that he’s more. Better. Problem is, he barely even believes it himself on the best of days, and they’re so… infuriating.

GERRARD BERMUDEZ — If there’s one thing Eoin knows how to do, it’s fight. When the offer comes, he doesn’t really think twice about it. He’s an unknown in this city, or at least, he doesn’t think Gerrard knows about his surface allegiances — his loyalty isn’t very easily handed out, after all — and it’s a good opportunity to flush things out of his system, to not go soft, a throwback to when life was… well, just a little bit easier. Does he trust Gerrard? Absolutely not, not nearly as far as he can throw them, but he doesn’t have to trust anyone to take advantage of a good thing. After all, isn’t that how he ended up with the Collective in the first place?

EXTRA: [Here] is mockblog. [Here] is pinterest. [Here] is playlist.

Worn leather jackets, hoodies, ripped jeans, and boots is basically Eoin’s aesthetic, he looks like he walked out of a trash heap and he’s not about to correct people, because that requires speaking to them.

He’s not a bad person per se, he just doesn’t care for authority or law or being told what to do, really, and if the fastest way to get from point A to B is illegal, well, then, call him a criminal, I guess.

There’s this thing about his powers in that… it’s like a tension that builds up in his body, and the longer he goes without letting it out, the more agitated he gets. Every now and then he just… needs to let it out, and it’s the best feeling ever.

Eoin often wears earphones, even when he’s not listening to music. There’s nothing more annoying to him than having to remove one because some asshole feels entitled to his attention. Fuck off.

Is there anything he owns that doesn’t have a hole or two in them? Probably not.

He’s a functional addict. Functional in the way that, most days he’s fine and he can manage without, and then one day shit gets too much and he just gets absolutely fucked up with anything he gets his hands on, and spends the next day or two out of his goddamn mind. Self-care.

Don’t tell him he isn’t allowed to do something. He will look at you pointedly and do exactly that thing.

Does he like that everyone thinks of him as a disappointment? No. Does he care enough to prove to people he’s more than that? Also no.

You can call him a bastard every day for a month and nothing happens, and then one day he rips off your jaw because he’s Had Enough.

ANYTHING ELSE: No. Kiss.

[nonbinarysasquatch]

I’m Not the Person I Used to Be

I really went through a cycle on the Greg recast this year. I started off just being… shocked. I couldn’t really process it. Then I became nervous about it. I worried that even with good intentions, it would be too weird to deal with.

I believed that maybe he would be Greg in name only and just be a new person who happened to have Greg’s background. I think I kind of wanted that just because it felt like the odds of them being able to pull off having someone act like Santino just wouldn’t work.

I’m happy to say that not only does the recast work but it was the right creative decision. Skylar acts just enough like Santino to make him seem like Greg and the writing is pretty much 80% on point for feeling like Greg (and the remaining 20% is kind of tbd as I need more time to get to know Greg’s new incarnation.)

By recasting Greg they are able to continue his story as intended without undoing the ending they gave him. He left, regenerated and came back a new man. But not entirely. Because… it really feels like Greg. He’s sarcastic, funny and still seems to have a weak spot for Rebecca Bunch.

Greg has returned at the best/worst time possible. Rebecca is tempted by relapse, finding herself drawn to Josh and Nathaniel. In Josh’s case he’s changed and grown a lot and he and Rebecca are actually friends. But the part of her that’s drawn to him still harkens back to a unhealthy part of her. The immature, obsessive part of her.

In Nathaniel’s case, his change for now feels pretty fake and for her benefit. He still seems to be mirroring Rebecca’s arc in the earlier seasons. It’s a little awkward to juxtapose her feelings for Nathaniel and Josh if only because really she’s Nathaniel’s Josh. But either way, Nathaniel represents different unhealthiness. The darker more privileged parts of her were drawn to Nathaniel, though she DID have obsessive problems with Nathaniel, and that’s the very reason she broke up with him the first time.

Greg, though? Greg was always the opposite of Nathaniel and Josh. They are romcom fantasies. The hot, popular guy who was good at sports and the hot, rich asshole. Greg represents the overlooked, friend zoned guy but he was always more nuanced and realistic than Josh or Nathaniel.

Rebecca appreciate Greg the least which is tragic as he may have been the only guy she had some genuine feelings for. Greg may be the closest she’s ever got to a real down to Earth relationship, however brief it was. But she wasn’t ready for that. Greg was too real. And of course, it was an extremely toxic relationship. They were bad for each other. Their pathologies ground against each other in a way that was damaging for them both.

The ending they gave Greg was perfect. It was important that they not undo it. And having seen this episode, I don’t believe they have. That ending still matters. It still counts. This is a new beginning… of sorts.

For a first episode Skylar does pretty good. The idea of having to pull of acting like Santino but not TOO much like Santino and having chemistry with Rachel and nailing the character as written and giving a good performance on top of it is ridiculous but Skylar did a pretty good job. I’m sure he’ll only get better from here. I am grading a bit on a curve just because… look the chances this was even going to WORK a little bit were slim. That it actually works pretty well should be seen as being vaguely miraculous.

So putting aside the casting, what did I think narrative about the Greg/Rebecca stuff? I liked it. A lot. A lot of that relies on the fact that the episode does two things I didn’t want it to do: have Greg just be Greg and have Rebecca accept him pretty easily. Again: those were the right decisions. I was wrong and Rachel and Aline were right. Who knew?

Greg and Rebecca still have chemistry. Though I’m a bit worried for them both. Greg seems maybe a little too eager for a fresh start with Rebecca. I can’t blame the guy. He’s trying to be a better, more accepting person. He’s probably heard STORIES in AA that would shock most people. He probably gets Rebecca now better than he ever did before.

It’s also possible he can tell she’s changed. He certainly seems to realise it at the end. But either way… their history isn’t great. I care about them both so I worry for them both.

Worrying about Rebecca is easy: she’s getting a bit too close to relapse. That she’s even contemplating who she’s meant to be with is troubling. But it’s good that she knows it’s not good. And it’s good that ultimately, she chose to tell Greg about Marco herself. Hearing it from his dad first probably would’ve been harder (though I do hope Marco takes the time to really explain why how he treated Rebecca that night wasn’t OK as it’s a side of the story that deserves to be told, though I’m sure Greg would rather not know any of it.)

I have theories on how the Greg/Rebecca arc will play out over the rest of the season but I’ll save them for later. Suffice to say, I still think she’s not going to end up with any of the guys. I do think there IS a version of an ending with her ending up with Greg that… I would still be iffy about but could work if done a particular way MAYBE.

Meanwhile, Josh Chan: Goddamn, I’m still loving everything they are doing with Josh this season. So amazing seeing his status as the popular kid getting deconstructed. See, Josh has always represented a trope that is more from teen romcoms. He’s the popular guy who is good at sports… but with Josh it’s sort of a what if? Because Josh Chan grew up.

In this episode, he gets to reflect on one of the biggest parts of his identity: being prom king. Which he has now learned is a lie. And worst of all, thanks to George (which, whoa, plot twist) he’s now realised that maybe he didn’t have it as great as he thought. Josh, beneath it all, is really a bit of a dork. But like a lot of jocks he’s had to suppress that to stay popular. We’ve heard him mention his magic in the past but we’ve never seen it. Turns out it was a passion he hid. And he’s not really that great at it.

I would love nothing more than to see Josh embrace his inner dork. It’s already kind of who he is. The cool guy was a facade. And maybe that’s why he’s always struggled in life (well, not the only reason, certainly as Josh still has some other issues in his way, particularly as it relates to how he has treated the women in his life.)

Though I don’t really like it, there is an ending with Josh and Rebecca ending up together I could envision. But ultimately, regardless of anything else, Rebecca’s abuse of Josh should never be rewarded. (And no, there isn’t an ending with Nathaniel I see that makes sense. He’s too far behind and the abuse issues that apply with Josh apply there too. He really hasn’t even approached dealing with his underlying problems yet.)

And this brings us to Valencia…

As a person in my mid 30s… I’ve known a great deal of people around my age (and older of course) who many years later still have feelings for people they knew as teenagers. I can’t really relate as I find getting over people to be pretty easy and my nostalgia for my youth is limited. But it’s pretty common.

The most fascinating thing about this Valencia/Father Brah plot twist is how it relates to Josh and Rebecca. Josh cheated on Valencia with Rebecca, Valencia cheated on Josh with Father Brah. Of course, the situations are entirely the same. Brah and Josh were friends. Rebecca was entirely out of sight and Josh dumped her as soon as summer camp was over. Josh wasn’t really that into Rebecca but Valencia was, in that absurd teenage way, in love with Father Brah.

But then you grow up. You become a different person but for some ridiculous reason those feelings remain. Why? I don’t know. As I said, this isn’t a thing that happens to me. But I’ve known a lot of people my age who… are far enough removed to have nostalgia and that somehow feeds the feelings, making them seem grander than they probably were.

Everything else aside (like Valencia having a girlfriend and Brah being married to Jesus) it’s not like the two of them could just start dating. They are different people. But hey, again: mirroring Rebecca, this time with Greg.

This also recontexualises all those old scenes with Josh talking to Father Brah about his relationship with Valencia and his feelings for Rebecca. It’s one of my favourite narrative techniques, where new information shines a light on old events. And it’s funny but I’ll be gosh darned if I can think of a single direct Valencia/Brah interaction before now. Sure, they’ve been in the same room a few times but… this plot 100% tracks. I’m sure that’s a mixture of planning and accident but hey, nice.

Heather was so fucking funny this episode. It was kind of nice seeing a bit of the older Heather back. That said, I feel like all the weirdness with the pronouns and her assuming Valencia’s ex-lover was a woman were unnecessary. For one thing, obviously Valencia was never close to another woman before Rebecca and Heather (and all the fans) know that. For another… it’s just distracting. I would have preferred at best her speculating about different men and women. I get what they were trying to do but it was a bit of a misstep in an otherwise basically perfect episode.

I do have one other minor-ish complaint about Valencia’s plot and it’s this: ultimately, her plot means very little for her. It does, however, mean a lot for Father Brah. It recontextualises and adds another layer to his relationship with Josh and presents a more nuanced view of a Catholic priest (that doesn’t involve him being a terrible person or a creeper.)

What does it tell us about Valencia? Nothing really. We already know she wasn’t happy with Josh. We already know she was attracted to men who weren’t Josh. And it’s not like she was going to leave Beth for fucking Father Brah LOL. So what was the point for her? None really. Which only hurts in that we’ve been so starved for Valencia development. But whatevs. I’ll take what I can get. This was a (mostly) good plot and Gabrielle always kills with what she’s given.

Am I going to wade into arguing about whether Valencia is bi or a lesbian? No, I am not. It’s not actually important and arguing about it is a waste of everyone’s time and energy given there are straight fans out there who don’t even buy her being with a woman… Maybe we should focus more on that and less on arguing about what kind of woman who loves women she really is? 

That said, the writers and Gabrielle have said she’s bi and that does track with how she’s been presented, so take that as you will. I’m sure we can all agree we wish her sexuality had been better explored but honestly aside from that she’s still one of the least tropey bi female characters I’ve ever seen and nothing about her really contradicts really lived human experiences.

The Songs:

Hello, Nice to Meet You: Look, I’ve been pretty supportive of Rachel taking a rest song wise this season but I’ll be honest: it was really good to see her singing again. This is a great introduction to the new Greg and HOLY COW MY THEORY ABOUT GREG AND REBECCA DOING FOOD PLAY HAS BECOME CANON, I AM TRUE PROPHET. No, this song is great. It’s a very Rachel Bloom number with her humour all over it (just like the arrabiata all over Greg’s dick.)

What U Missed While U Were PopUlar: I friggin’ love this song. Probably instantly in my top 3 for the season. It’s catchy and one of the best songs music video wise they’ve had all season. And it’s a George song??? Who knew a George song could be one of my favourites?

Rating: 10.0 out of 10.0.

Best episode all season and one of the best episode ever. I need to go back and downrate all the other episodes from this season…

[tessatechaitea]

New Titans #101

Dick Grayson probably should have been smart enough to realize Starfire would have taken the term "jerk-off" literally.

Kelly Jones should, contractually, only be allowed to draw Killer Croc and Swamp Thing.

I read Knightfall but I don't remember Azrael sucking Bane's cock. It seems like something I would have remembered. Starfire struggles with what Raven did to her and, to help her fight the trauma of Raven's rape, Phantasm forces his way into her mind. I guess it's like when you're afraid of spiders so some smart-ass therapist sticks you in a box full of spiders to cure you of your fear. Although it seems like being stuck in a box full of spiders would be the cause of my fear of spiders. Also, I might have just made up that scenario and nobody has ever been shoved in a box full of spiders except on Fear Factor. But I feel like I've heard about fighting phobias with phobias, so I'm guessing everybody reading this has heard an anecdote or two about it as well. Also I think it was in the Bible. Anyway, it's a really exciting scene because Starfire is naked on every page! But only sickos and pervs thought it was sexy. I can't believe anybody can have a boner while reading this! Although it's true that my penis doesn't understand context as well as I'd like it to. But I can't totally blame my penis for enjoying inappropriate images! Comic book artists need to stop drawing dead females as if they were sexily waiting for sex! After everybody watches Phantasm rape Starfire to help her cope with her rape, they rush in and hug her because she's cured! Although she's probably still pregnant with a demon from Azaroth. This issue is called "Aftermath" and it's broken up into chapters so we, the reader, can get a handle on all the relevant plots that will be dealt with post issue #100. I hope one of those plots is not Cyborg getting his mind back because I've got to admit that I find him more entertaining as a mindless automaton. At least he doesn't shout "Booyah!" every other page. I also would have hoped that the next chapter wasn't about Arsenal but I already turned the page to discover that it was about him.

Arsenal invented the Pocket Chaps for 80s heroes trying to transition into the 90s style.

The government wants Roy Harper to become leader of the Titans because the Titans are practically a terrorist group. Roy is all, "No! No! It's not the Titans' fault that the minister exploded! It was Raven's fault! And, yes, I know she's a Titan! But we thought she was killed when her father attacked New York! Which technically wasn't the Titans' fault either! Yes, yes, I know they also battled Jericho's dad and Changeling's dad and Starfire's sister and Wonder Girl's son from the future. But it's not their fault they were too busy dealing with family problems to actually do any good!" But the government was just too insistent. They just wouldn't back down from getting Roy to lead a team that was a complete hazard to New York because the only other alternative would be to shut the team down. And that wouldn't do anybody any good, especially DC Comics! When Roy tell's Dick that it's best for the team if Dick took some time off, Dick attacks Roy because, as he says, "Friends don't turn on friends!" Newer comic book fans often find it hard to believe there was a time that Dick Grayson was the worst character in the DC Universe. But then they don't realize there was also a time that Dick Grayson was mostly written by Marv Wolfman. Roy and Dick both keep using the pronoun "us" when arguing about the government's desire to control "metagenetics." These two privileged fucks! They don't have one metagenetic gene between them! Chapter three is about Changeling, or Beast Boy as he was previously and postviously known, once everybody realized that "Changeling" was a stupid fucking name. Not that Beast Boy is going to win any Pulitzers. Fuck, hardly any superhero names are any good, really. Superman? Batman? Spider-man? I guess they didn't get good until the 90s when everybody had to have a name composed of two of the following words: blood, death, shot, and kill.

Big deal! One Titan possibly saved one life in 101 issues! I've saved more lives than that (if you count all the people I haven't killed (which is a lot more than you'd imagine)).

Changeling can hardly turn into animals at all anymore. Now he more easily turns into Lovecraftian nightmare creatures that drive people insane. But nobody needs to worry about that. He saved one cop! New Titans #101 Rating: The Titans mostly just fight among themselves this issue. The world isn't much better off for their existence. Two cops may have been saved (although their car never explodes so it's more like zero cops were saved if you want to be a cynical asshole about it (and I do)) but four criminals were driven insane. I guess if you're a Republican, that's a pretty sweet trade off. But if you're not a monster, you might still think the Titans are more of a hazard than a benefit to society. Hopefully things will change around for them in Issue #102 when they get a leader who isn't a self-obsessed prick with a severe Batman-daddy complex.

[clarenecessities]

Queerquiggle/Cybunnypoop

Subtitle: This Again

It’s been around two years since the shit hit the proverbial fan, but seeing as the individual in question has since deleted & remade, some of you may not be aware of whom you’re interacting with.

Queerquiggle & queerneopets are the latest installments in a series of urls belonging to one person, hereafter referred to as the original url, cybunnypoop. Other former urls for his neoblog include (but are not limited to): gaygelatin, shewhoneopetswiththee, neobloq, and candypaintbrush.

I should tell you all off the bat that he’s a Trump supporter, a “recovering” transphobe, and extremely Islamophobic, so this post may contain some upsetting information. There are some instances of misogyny, antisemitism, homophobia, and racism, as well. Oh, and ableism. Honestly, pick an -ism.

None of the information in this post should be a repeat of my first post regarding the matter. Warning: this post is even longer.

As before, I’d be remiss if I didn’t lay out my bias: I don’t like him. He’s been downgraded from “nemesis” to “nuisance,” as he’s no longer harassing minors (as far as I’m aware), but we’re never going to be best buddies.

We’ve spoken several times, though never to any resolution, and with each interaction it became increasingly obvious that it was futile. I ultimately blocked him following repeated propositioning and an unwillingness to engage beyond casting any disagreement as bullying and telling the kids to go back to their safe spaces.

Cybunnypoop is now 25 years old, and he hasn’t started anything major in a while. His posts remain fairly unpopular, though whether that’s the result of the quarantine or simple bad content, I couldn’t say. You’re under no obligation to take my word for any of this. Though I’ve provided links and screenshots where I can, what you make of that evidence is up to you.

TRANSPHOBIA

As it so happens, Cybunnypoop has recently tried listening to another human being, and has been educated about trans issues in a way that ~100 people on the internet offering resources apparently couldn’t accomplish.

What this means is that Cybunnypoop is now IDing with various names (itself nothing new, pseudonyms are an old hat here), gender identities, and pronouns, depending on the platform. I’m sticking with he/him for this post, as those were the last requested on his neopets blog. His description says shey/shem but unfortunately I have no idea how current that is, and his about says “whatever”–so if I’m misgendering here, I apologize; it is not intentional.

I, Clare, Author of This Post, am cis. So it’s not my place to gatekeep or say whether or not he’s ““really trans””. And, as he has expressly admitted to being transphobic in the past, none of this section is really up for debate. I’m just going to provide the information, including his apologies and the redaction thereof. I don’t know that he truly understands everything he did wrong, but he’s explicitly stated he thinks transphobia is bad, so hey, maybe we can all learn something.

I’m gonna try to keep this chronological, so here we go:

A fun little addition to a post via an anonymous terf, “You are still males, you have male privilege, you KNOW NOTHING & NEEVER [sic] WILL KNOW of our goddamn struggles.“ which Cybunnypoop began with “So much agree!”

When asked about the “trans bathroom debacle,” he stated he was, “just afraid it’ll result in sacrificing handicap-accesible bathrooms.” which is only tangentially transphobic but bears addressing: Why would it ever mean that?

Cybunnypoop has something of a preoccupation with the potential negative impact equity would have upon him, and ableism is a convenient vehicle for this–lord knows this country is appalling in terms of accessibility. However, no proposed version of “trans bathroom”s leads to the dissolution of ADA-compliant spaces. Whether it’s allowing trans people to use the bathroom they identify with, or installing/redesignating gender neutral spaces, it remains an issue of improved accessibility, not diminished. A disabled trans person has as much a right to use a bathroom as an able-bodied one.

When he graduated he was questioned on his political beliefs, specifically how he could support Trump and remaining uneducated about trans issues while claiming to be an LGBT ally–and congratulated on graduating. Rather than answering the questions, or thanking them for the congrats and ignoring the rest, Cybunnypoop declared it “harassment”. This is about the standard for what he deems harassment/bullying: Anything that disagrees with him.

Reposted a quote from Dixon Diaz, the alt right guy you may remember him quoting in several citations from my last post, which read, “Liberal: a person who tells you that you’re a bigot if you’re afraid of having weird men in the ladies room, but becomes traumatized if they see “Trump 2016” written in chalk.“ [sic]

trans people bad, diversity bad, children bad & trauma fake

An ongoing problem with fetishizing trans people, dating back long before his identification as trans, and indeed, during the period in which he was a self-avowed transphobe. (Warning: link contains slur!)

This grew more pronounced as he came to understand what it means to be trans, and zeroed in on transwomen in particular. This is itself a complex issue: When is a kink flattering and when is it dehumanizing? Are immutable adjectives inappropriate to fetishize, or is it positive representation?

Again, as a cis person, it isn’t my place to say–I’m just letting y’all know what he’s said, and you can determine how you feel about it. This post isn’t a thinkpiece on my opinions.

Select quotes from The Apology:

“I was transphobic. I was resistant to that term because I felt it was a misnomer. I was more…trans-ignorant, I felt, than “transphobic.” […] I couldn’t see what I was doing because I was too busy, I felt, being attacked.”

“I had a warped view of trans people, and I was too ignorant and stubborn to acknowledge it–to see it, even.”

“[…] it’s hard not to let a jerk taint your view of a minority, especially when that jerk was your introduction to the minority.“

I’ll be honest, my problem with this apology is in how it’s structured, not in its content. It seems to convey genuine remorse, but focuses the bulk of the message on excuses, including that last point, which… isn’t relatable.

Even this I could forgive (after all, he’s new to apologies) if it had heralded a change in attitude–but nothing changed. He continued on as before, and continued to refuse discussions of other issues (which we’re getting to soon).

Which brings us to The Second Apology:

Posted some day and a half after the first, it opens with the artfully passive aggressive line, “I thought this could be over but it’s obviously going to stick around.” And it’s all downhill from there, folks!

“What do you want? What more can I say? There isn’t anything left to say. Nothing will satisfy some people.”

“I never bullied anyone like some do to me.“

“If you don’t want to believe I am different,[…] then the problem is not mine. In these cases, it is a good idea for you to stop talking about me and lying about me“

Here is a glimpse, perhaps, into what he expected. He was waiting for accolades. Commendation. He’d just apologized–and unlike earlier attempts, it was genuine! I don’t know that he anticipated forgiveness, but the outright rejection of that apology by several individuals drove him almost immediately into a bitter tirade, once again foisting the blame onto the people he had hurt or offended.

Aaaand a redaction of former apologies. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be a date on this one, so it may be referring to the older apologies, but its content bears addressing:

“Yeah, I apologised like a year ago […], and they refused it, so I’m done apologizing–not that I even have anything to apologise for.

“I’ll sooner die than acknowledge and apologise for their demented reconstructions of my words.“

Which, if this is about the older apologies–oops!

“I won’t deny I said some things that people found offensive, […] but they just took everything and ran apedoodie with it. It amazes me that, for all they claim to hate me, they have this obsession with everything I do and say.”

This is actually fairly emblematic of my own interactions with Cybunnypoop: Specifically, the characterization of all attention as both positive, and obsessive.

What is it about being held responsible for his actions that leads him to cry wolf? Historically, an unwillingness to debate his political beliefs. Oh, he’ll espouse Trump’s “virtues” for paragraphs and paragraphs, but anyone who criticizes him is obviously a liberal idiot who just loves to hate him, and I’ll bet they say “lame,” right? It’s these assumptions about other people that lead him so often to tilt at windmills, rather than addressing the subject at hand.

RACISM

“Obama spending $21 million to put refugees to work…why not spend that money in the inner cities to put young blacks to work… once again Obama and the Democrats have proved the black community is their who’re [sic] because we always come back to them after they screw us” a quote he posted from a Facebook page I won’t even name, because it’s literally got the N-word in it! But he’s definitely not a racist, right?

Obama being (literally) booted out of office, by a Confederate battle flag, symbol of white supremacy since the 1960s. (There’s been some suggestion it’s in the classic minstrel show style. Though he forwent the traditional depiction of red/pink lips in favor of purple, there remains the possibility that he just can’t draw caricatures).

I’m going to address this post more in the ableism section, but it’s worth noticing how often, and how readily, he uses the word c*lored unprompted. This is not the first occasion.

More lambasting of whitewashing as a concept, sarcastically proposing we paint a black person white and mutilate them to better portray Michael Jackson (whom he refers to as ‘Wacko Jacko’, an ableist and derogatory nickname) apparently under the impression that there are no other black men with vitiligo.

I think it’s important to cover this, as from Cybunnypoop’s posts suggesting we be outraged at the “yellow-washing” of Joan Watson (see my previous post) it’s clear that he has no idea what whitewashing means.

It is not literally painting POC white.

The term whitewashing is derived from cheap white paint of chalked lime, used for a long time to refer to a specific means of censorship, “to gloss over or cover up vices, crimes or scandals or to exonerate by means of a perfunctory investigation or through biased presentation of data”. Simply put, it’s revisionist history, and the methods used to maintain that illusory timeline.

It isn’t difficult to see how the term came to be applied to the representative censorship in Hollywood.

Shared a Facebook graphic, “Black people who were never slaves are fighting white people who were never Nazis over a confederate statue erected by democrats, and why, because democrats can’t stand their own history anymore and somehow it’s Trumps Fault? [sic]“

“Also, you see Blacks everywhere, but they’re still considered a minority.” (He appended some context but frankly it’s even more damning.)

The term “spirit animal” is annoying but not because it’s racist, I guess

ISLAMOPHOBIA

Cybunnypoop’s Islamophobia is tied in pretty heavily with his support of Trump, so I’ll be citing a few of those posts in this section as well.

“Ban seven countries’ worth of ideology which promotes violence against women, LGBT people, animals, and nonworshippers? Sounds good to me!”

The cognitive dissonance of a self-avowed Catholic posting this is… incredible.

“Sorry to inform you, but the terrorists who attacked New York, Boston, Orlando, our embassies, and others weren’t Hindus, Buddhists, Christians, Jews, or atheists. They were Muslims.

“It’s not Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, or atheism which oppresses women, slaughters animals, kills gays, and calls for the conversion or beheading of nonbelievers. It’s Islam.

“Until the ideology evolves to be as peaceful and tolerant as it claims, it doesn’t belong in America.”

There’s a lot to unpack here. Let’s begin by refuting Trump’s claims that “the vast majority of individuals convicted of terrorism and terrorism-related offenses since 9/11 came here from outside of our country.” Plain old xenophobia, not even in the ballpark of truth. Over the past 15 years, none of the self-described Muslim terrorists committing crime have come from the countries on Trump’s ban list. Zero. The country producing the most successful attacks against the USA is the USA itself.

A basic look at the data further reveals that white supremacist, self-described Christian terrorists actually lead the rate of attack and death toll by about 2:1. Yet, bizarrely, nothing from Cybunnypoop about the ‘violence and intolerance’ of Christianity, or even white supremacy… Who saw that coming?

It speaks to Cybunnypoop’s prejudice that he would believe such a blatantly false piece of information with no investigation or critical thought whatsoever. Although, it may speak more to his unwillingness/inability to use Google. We have had some problems with that in the past. 

“Dear Liberals: [sic] You claim to protect women. You claim to protect LGBT. [sic] You claim to protect animals. You claim to protect people who don’t ascribe to the dominant faith. But you’re protecting a violently misogynistic, homophobic, intolerant ideology which still slaughters animals in the name of their god and beheads people who worship otherwise. What the *** is wrong with you?”

Man, for derailing conversations so often to complain about perfectly valid modal grammar he sure loves breaking the English language.

When asked how he could still support Trump, he replied, “Because he hasn’t actually said or done anything wrong. The only thing with which I disagree was the transgender military ban, and that has been shot down, so it’s hardly relevant.”

Particularly in conjunction with his condemnation of liberals on the basis of not like, banning Islam, this is an explicit endorsement of everything from repealing the Alternative Tax Minimum to his sexual misconduct. Everything, except the one thing that directly affects one of Cybunnypoop’s demographics, was right.

HOMOPHOBIA

“I’m not like others in the LGBT spectrum. [bolding mine]

“I hadn’t cared for gay marriage nor had I especially cared to support the cause. […] I’ll fight for the welfare of the many before I’ll fight for the wishes of the few.”

(Well, historically, no, he won’t). Even without the implication that all the gay people who want to get married are selfish, this ignores the reason behind the push for the legalization of gay marriage: The AIDS crisis. Terminally ill gay men were forcibly evicted from their homes after watching their partners die, horribly, because they couldn’t inherit the lease/property. Their partners’ remains were the custody of parents who often wouldn’t allow the survivor to attend the funeral.

Up until gay marriage was legalized on a federal level, these incidents still occurred. One Indiana woman had to pay over $300,000 in taxes upon the death of her wife, and was told by the funeral home she could not arrange for her wife’s cremation as she was an “unrelated third party,” despite having the power of attorney. This is a significant concern.

“I don’t care for "pride.” I’ve actually started to loathe the undertones of the pride movement. […] is it truly worthy of a month and a gold star? […] I think it’s losing relevancy. Can we really celebrate something that’s no longer legally unique? Can we really have pride for… wait, what is it we’re proud of, anyway? We’re legally equal now; we’re socially equal, for the most part.” [bolding mine]

I don’t know if he forgot the homophobia he’s experienced, or if it just doesn’t matter unless it happened it to him.

“The next time someone asks you why LGBT Pride marches exist or why Gay Pride Month is June tell them ‘A bisexual woman named Brenda Howard thought it should be.’“ -Tom Limoncelli

“Another thing–and the most loathsome part–about the “pride movement” concerns the very word itself. “Pride” …be proud of who you are, and be proud of not caring what others think of you. Fine. Sure. It’s fun to wildly flaunt your differences. But what’s the opposite of “pride”? “Shame.” So, if gays are to have pride, does that mean straights are to have shame?”

So why are we to be entitled to pride–why are we allowed to feel good about ourselves and they are not? […] The majority are not oppressive, and even if they wanted to be, they legally couldn’t. 

Good news guys, homophobia is dead and definitely super illegal.

“(Never mind the fact that pride is a negative, narcissistic trait and one of the Seven Deadly Sins.)” [bolding mine]

(We interrupt this post to bring you his “Antipridist Pride”)

“While it seems most of the LGB world makes their sexuality their entire identity, I leave it as just one facet of many.“ Once again, he’s not like Those Other Gays.

“ I’ll bet I pissed off a lot of gays with this post, but I don’t care, and I’m proud of not caring.“ (proceeds to describe the LGBT community as loud, angry, straight-bashing, etc. for a good paragraph or so, obviously very much caring)

That’s enough of that post, huh? Let’s move on.

“I know that a lot of the LGBT community is hypocritical–and intolerantly, angrily so. They scream about others giving them tolerance and respect while they don’t give others such basic rights.

“If there’s Black Pride, why couldn’t there be Caucasian Pride? Gay Pride, Straight Pride.“

As I broke down in my last post, Caucasian≠white, and was first misapplied by white supremacists and popularized by actual, literal Nazis. He evidently doesn’t care, and claims I “created” it. (I can assure you, I haven’t been alive since 1785).

“Is it me, or are there actually very few good gay celebrities?”

Doesn’t like the term “lesbian” because its “image is too pornified”. As I understand it this is fairly common among those who were raised in more conservative or religious families, so it’s not an issue per se; it just becomes weird in conjunction with his wanting to be called a dyke at one point (though I can’t find the post where he said that explicitly, only ones where he describes himself as such).

Said he’d expected Ted Cruz to be a “gay prostitute” because he gave off untrustworthy vibes.

MISOGYNY

As I’m sure most of you are aware, Cybunnypoop is pro-life. From certain parties, that can be motivated by misinformation rather than misogyny (though certainly the misogyny drives that misinformation). In his case? Well, actually only about 75% misogyny. The other 25% is empathizing with fetuses just until they’re born. Idk if it’s because of his parental situation or his existential dread or what, but we’re not here to psychoanalyze him; we’re here to review.

“It’s a point which I make constantly. It’s not hard to not get pregnant. You have a variety of options. There’s birth control. There’s getting your man snipped […]. And there is one absolutely fool-proof, sperm-proof way: ABSTINENCE. It’s stupidly simple, but there are self-righteous women and men out there who say–if you’ll pardon my pun–screw that. Free sex, rah rah. But if you don’t want to “risk” a baby, don’t do the do. There are plenty more things to do in life.”

Yeah, it may be “stupidly simple” for an “asexual homosexual” but other people do, in fact, get horny. “There’s birth control.” Where? You gonna pay for it? You gonna talk their “man” into getting a vasectomy? Pay for that?

I want you all to keep in mind that this is the same person who waxed poetic about his addiction to porn. And hentai. Which he downloaded in a public library, because he was just that addicted. But if someone (god forbid) “does the do,” and their birth control fails? Well, too bad. You should have been able to control your libido.

When Trump was elected he had the following to say:

“This is a time for healing.” No, this is a time for you to suck it up. You may not have wanted this result, but I and half of the country did. So, instead of bitching and moaning and trying to undo what I and half of the country have been working hard for, you need to shut the fuck up, go to school, work, or volunteer, and stop being an intolerant, selfish, hypocritical asshole.

Frankly this could go in a lot of sections but it’s using bitch pejoratively so…

Honestly there are more instances but I feel like you get the picture and this thing is already absurdly long, so we’re going to move along.

ANTI-SEMITISM

On screenshots of a neoboard discussing the origins of the ichthys symbol (the Jesus fish), Cybunnypoop added, apropos of nothing, “Hey, how about the fact that Christianity was originally illegal while Judaism was lawful, and the early Christians had to hold some Jewish mores so they wouldn’t be arrested and executed? Interesting, isn’t it…” and tagged it “two can play at that game”.

Christians weren’t being persecuted for not being Jewish; they were being persecuted for refusing to participate in state events from which the Jews were exempt via religious tradition. Christians were too new to be considered traditional, and were therefore considered in contempt of the state when they refused to, say, make a sacrifice on behalf of the Emperor. Also, we called each other brother & sister but still got married, and spoke weekly about eating a man alive, so people were kind of concerned.

Also, like, it was an explicitly socialist religion in an empire. That was never going to end well. The “mores” they had to hold were “don’t be anti-fascist” and “stop meeting in secret, we don’t know who you are and it’s freaking us out,” neither of which is explicitly Jewish and neither of which you can blame the Jews for.

Pretty minor, but in a poorly executed attempt to be inclusive, he wished everyone a happy Easter & Passover at the same time, only to be informed that Passover wouldn’t be happening for a month. So more about the assumption that Jews are lesser Christians again than any direct hostility. Perhaps better evidence of his ignorance of Jewish customs/how to hit “search” on Google.

 ABLEISM

Here there be slurs!

Alright. We’re going to begin this with a breakdown of the “lame” issue. Here’s the thing: Cybunnypoop hates it. He compares it (ceaselessly) to the r slur, which he uses liberally in his own defense.

I’m certainly not saying it isn’t a slur, or that you should use it, but to be frank, he’s wrong.

In both severity and time in which it’s been part of the English vernacular, lame is far more akin to other ableist slurs like “dumb,” “stupid,” “moron,” “idiot,”–all words which Cybunnypoop uses on the regular. The closest comparison we have to the r slur would be “cr*ppled”–which Cybunnypoop quotes on the regular.

Dumb is the closest analogue, as those middle three weren’t really popular until the American Eugenics Movement kicked in, but hey. If it bothers him so much, why say any of them?

Simply because, it only bothers him when it affects him directly and is said by his enemy.

For example, no problem whatsoever quoting Trump’s book, Cr*ppled America.

Here he calls someone ableist scum for calling him the r slur, yet here he mocks another’s offense at the term by comparing it to modern medical jargon.

Atheists and Liberals [sic] are “dumb”

“entirely okay” with the R slur

This post, which was also in the racism section, littered with fun slurs and what’s either blatant hypocrisy (see: his regular use of words like dumb/stupid) or one of the most incredible point-dodges I’ve ever seen.

Now we get into a recurring theme, with a recurring character. The problem with most of Cybunnypoop’s legitimate criticisms (e.g. lame is a slur, accessibility is bullshit) is that they’re never even googled, let alone researched, and that they come, 9 times out of 10, at the expense of another minority. Or, through sheer ignorance, one of his own.

“Trans people get [famous trans people]. Gay people get [famous gay people]. Black people get [famous black people]. Who do I get? I get Joe Swanson.”

“While everyone’s battling over how to bend backwards and make others comfortable, I’m just sitting here, cursing out the ungrateful bastards because there are places I can’t even ACCESS. […] And never mind the fact that there is no good disabled representation out there. You know who I get to look up to? Joe frickin’ Swanson. It’s so nice to be a forgotten minority. [bolding his]

Joe Swanson, for those of you who (like me) have no idea who that is, is a character on Family Guy in a wheelchair. This begs the question: Why do you need to shit on other groups and their representation to acknowledge how bad you have it?

There are dozens of famous disabled people I can name off the top of my head. Stephen Hawking, Hellen Keller, Beethoven, Lord Byron, FDR, Frida Kahlo, Sudha Chandran, John Milton–a cursory Google search reveals even more. Saying there are no famous disabled people is a shitty fucking thing to do, both because you’re erasing their accomplishments and you’re depriving other disabled people of that representation by pretending it doesn’t exist. Spreading misinformation so you can complain that everyone else is better off than you specifically is just plain cruel.

“I’m so sick and tired of society catering to race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, but never giving a thought to people with disabilities. We don’t get a slice of the “diversity” pie.“

Catering to. … Catering to.

“Until our society can grow to acknowledge, accept, and represent the diverse world of disabilities, then we don’t have true equality and diversity.”

Like… he could have just made a post saying this. I mean, we have diversity regardless of equality, but that’s semantics. We don’t have to tear down other minorities to be heard. There’s enough “pie” for everyone.

Society: You should accept everyone regardless of sex, culture, gender, sexuality, race, class, ethnicity, economic status Person: What about disabled people? Society: Huh?

I’m not a big fan of his little infographics, primarily because he uses them exclusively as a platform to strawman himself, but this one in particular is uh, frustrating. If he’s speaking about popular society, very few people accept all the groups he listed, particularly class/economic status. If he’s speaking about our country….

Federal protected classes include: Race, color, religion/creed, national origin/ancestry, sex, age, physical or mental disability, veteran status, genetic information, citizenship. 

It’s the same story.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

BLOCK HIM. Do not reblog his content. Stop him preemptively from reblogging yours. Do not engage with him. 

If you try to debate him, he will probably call you a bully, and you will probably get some not-so-mysterious anons. You will definitely be unable to reach a resolution. I know of at least one individual who’s attempting to “rehabilitate” him, so I guess we’ll see how that goes? I’d be genuinely delighted.

Reblog this post if you can, to spread the word.

Educate yourself about the issues addressed in this post. If you have questions, my inbox is always open.

I am not infallible, and I will also make mistakes. Please bring these to my attention immediately and they will be addressed.

This is a much less urgent situation than the previous post, as he’s (mostly) stopped harassing people, but you have a right to be aware of whom you’re interacting with. Whether you block him or befriend him or whatever is up to you, and I hope whatever choice you make is the right choice for you.

[levmemes]

UNWIND BY NEAL SHUSTERMAN SENTENCE STARTERS

these quotes are taken from the novel unwind, written by neal shusterman. this book is the first of four novels in the series; the other memes will be linked as completed. these quotes include discussion of body mutilation, religious / emotional abuse, and others.  feel free to change pronouns / wording as desired! book two.

"a guy as smart as you has a decent chance of surviving." 

"i want to, i really, really want to...but i can't."

"i saw your performance the other night. you were very good."

"the fact is, 100% of you will still be alive, just in a divided state."

"change, that's all. the way ice becomes water, the way water becomes clouds."

"i'd rather be partly great than entirely useless."

"today you're a man. sort of." 

"i love you, and i know this is your special day. but i can't be a part of this." 

“there are no wrong thoughts, only thoughts that need to be worked through and overcome."

“this is what I was born for. it's what I've lived my life for.”

"look who's back from tranqville."

"i've never seen a kid in such a hurry to be unwound." 

"so, what's it like, knowing all your life you're going to be sacrificed?"

"i’m sure you're very good at stealing, but i don't think it's a good idea."

"you can't change laws without first changing human nature."

"you can't change human nature without first changing the law."

"maybe the police are keeping it quiet because they don't want people to know they screwed up."

"if a baby was going to be so unloved, why would God want it brought into the world?"

"don't you see? you can save yourself. you can be anyone you want to be now." 

"don't tell me anything, so if they question me afterward, i won't be lying when i say i don't know." 

"i go by instinct, you go by brains. i guess we make a pretty decent team." 

"if you could harness the energy of my parents' spite, you could power a small city for several years." 

"God help me, i'm turning into trailer trash." 

"a flame can only burn your hand if you move too slow. you can tease it all you want and it never gets you, if you're quick enough." 

“you think that because no one loves you, then you can't love anyone.”

“people aren't all good, and people aren't all bad.“

"ain't no one gonna tell you what's in your heart. you gotta find that out for yourself."

“the good Lord wouldn't have put it in your heart if it wasn't right.”

"if you paint wrong because that's the best you can do, you just a chump. but you do it because you want to? then you're an artist."

"my parents don't believe in intelligence scans. it's kind of a religious thing. everyone's equal in God's eyes and all that."

"that's really sweet. maybe you should write greeting cards."

"the law said it was my job to look the other way, but i did not. i will not."

"oh, you're sane. you're so sane, you scare me. you're so sane, it's insane."

"they gotta eat it right on time, or i get hell for it. they could eat it without me, but they won't. they don't. they just stew."

"i'm a better person because you're in my head."

"whoever did this wants to systematically dismantle the power structure here, so that they can rise to the top of it more quickly."

"a conflict always begins with an issue—a difference of opinion, an argument. but by the time it turns into a war, the issue doesn't matter anymore, because now it's about one thing and one thing only: how much each side hates the other."

"i want you to promise me that if he asks you to help him, you'll turn him down."

"i want to help you. i'm worried about you. please let me help you."

"i don't have to explain anything to you or to anyone else."

"there are things i have to do. i don't expect you to understand. i'm sorry i'm not who you want me to be, but i've changed."

"never let anyone else name you."

"chaos, man. chaos. It's beautiful. beautiful."

"don't blame the world for your own lousy choices."

"they tell us that the fear will pass and we'll get to a place of acceptance. i've been here almost six months, and i'm just as scared as the day i got here."

"i need more time. another day. that's all. one more day. i'll be ready tomorrow."

"i wanted to do it, but i got scared. i don't know why, but i got scared."

"it's the work of man, and we shouldn't be prideful."

"listen, mind your own business, okay? i'm not your buddy, i'm not your friend."

"what do they say? about your injuries, i mean. you're going to be okay, right?"

"all I know is what goes on in here. which isn't much."

"what you did—it confused people. no one knows whether you're a monster or a hero."

"you think maybe i can believe in that God, too?"

"we deserve a world where those things are possible, and it's our job to help make that world."