#so i always feel super embarrassed talking to these kinds of men about anything other than sex for like a few minutes

[churipu]

Hiii!! I can ask for jjk men (your choice!) with a girlfriend who doesn't look like it but is like super strong! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ I have a love for those types of characters<3 thanks in advance!

I hope you are getting better ❤️‍🩹

jjk men & their "looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill" you gf

featuring. gojo satoru, toji fushiguro, nanami kento x fem! reader

warnings. cursing

note. anonnn <33 i absolutely love this one, i have so many speculations for different characters about this request omg, thank you for requesting love, i hope this one is up to par, much love xoxo (and i am feeling so much better now, thank you for checking up on me). OH AND GUESS WHAT? u don't understand how thankful i am to reach 300+ followers in the first week??? u guys rock, ilysm

GOJO SATORU. i feel like he'd feel so betrayed after finding out how you're very strong?? one second he's looking away and then the next second, he looks back and a curse is ready to pounce on you. he grits his teeth when he realizes that — but before he could even do anything, there you were, sending out a strong punch that leaves a gust of wind as a cherry on top.

gojo could only stare at you, jaw dropped. all he could think of was how on earth did you do that and how could someone so...cute and adorable like you send out that kind of punch. honestly, on one side he felt so betrayed to only know of your power now — but on the other side, he's so damn proud of you.

after all of that, you still managed to send him your most innocent smile as if you didn't just almost possibly created a hurricane with that punch of yours. skipping happily and then throwing yourself onto the male, "satoru!"

"you never cease to surprise me, baby." he chuckles.

and you blinked at him innocently, a little confused at what he's talking about. at first gojo thought you were just pretending not to know, but when he realized that you actually didn't know, it dawned upon him that maybe you didn't even realize how strong you actually are.

"y/n, you just obliterated a curse."

"oh. oh. yeah! i did."

yeah, you definitely weren't aware of your own strength. which surprised gojo even more.

TOJI FUSHIGURO. he's always thought that protecting you was one of his main duty, and believe me when i say that toji is always on guard for anything that could possibly send harm your way. feral animals, harmful plants, annoying babies, curses, anything he finds annoying — he just assumes you don't like them either.

despite not having a cursed energy, toji is strong. anyone would agree with that. so when he settled in with you, someone who radiates such loving and gentle aura, toji made it his job to keep you out of harm's way.

but apparently, you've got that under covered.

being in a relationship meant going out on dates occasionally, right? however, some people do not understand the meaning of "i have a boyfriend" and it annoys you. so when toji was away to fetch a few things and you were left alone, a stranger felt like it was the best time to hit on you.

"saw ya' from a couple of minutes ago, thought you're cute. we should hang out."

obviously the word "no" didn't work as he kept on bothering you, and you do know how people react when they don't get what they want sometimes? they just plain out throw words to boost up their ego and deny their own embarrassment. it's funny.

"whatever. ya' aren't that cute anyways." everything began out as an exchange of words — until anger consumes the best out of them. the male got ready to swung his hand on you.

and believe me when i say that toji was having the time of his life watching you exchange angry words with the guy, until he saw the male raise his hand. toji was about to drop everything and come to your rescue, but stopped when you smacked the stranger across his face harshly it sent him stumbling over his own feet.

toji chuckled lightly, although surprised. that day, i swore he promised himself not to get on your bad side (also, he thought it was pretty hot of you). he told you he'd been watching from afar, and was so ready to be your knight in shining armor.

apparently, you are your own knight in shining armor.

NANAMI KENTO. for the longest time, nanami has stood his ground in defending you from malices and curses. some of the people do not like the idea of you and him together, especially girls who failed to obtain his attention (obviously). and he'd always be the one to tell them to piss off and not to butt in his relationship.

you were just a normal businesswoman working normal office hours, and nanami — well, he's a pretty busy man. but he has made himself visible to your work environment a couple of times, mostly because you were clumsy enough to forget your bento box that you made for yourself before going to work.

and apparently that few times was enough to make girls swoon over your boyfriend. honestly, you could care less. you trust nanami. but things went rock bottom when this one particular girl, a co-worker who was obviously jealous of you. and she doesn't hesitate in showing that to you.

"accidentally" spilling coffee on you, "accidentally" stepping on your foot with her heels, "accidentally" bumping into you, "accidentally" elbowing your head when she walks by. just everything in an attempt to get a reaction out of you so she could possibly play the victim card.

you brushed her every attempt off, although it bothered you quite a bit. but your last straw was when she "accidentally" ruined the report you've been working on for the past week, sacrificing your rest and sweat for it — only for her to dump down a cup of iced macchiato on it the day you were supposed to hand it in to your boss.

you've just had enough of her, and this was not something you can brush off like her other "accidents" because this report would affect your position in the company (and possibly get you fired). but at this point, do you even care? no, no you don't.

"so, is this the part where i hit her?" you ask another co-worker who was there in the room when everything happened, and they nervously shook their head, "really? i feel like this is the part where i do."

so when you did send a punch to her jaw, your other co-workers were quick to run find help (your boss). and all it took was one punch to make the girl wobble weakly, her knees buckling.

oh, and your boss wasn't too happy about your resort in violence, especially in the work area.

"i don't care, i'm fired anyways." you took off the company's id card that was hanging from around your neck and tossed it onto the table before packing your bag to leave.

your boss wasn't the only unhappy one, you were too. and nanami as well.

"it isn't my fault, kento."

"i know, darling. i'm not saying it's your fault, i'm just surprised...that's all."

well, that was the first time you've ever threw a punch to someone. and the first time you've ever been fired, so yes. it is a surprise to nanami, but to you? you were expecting it sooner or later with the pace of how that co-worker was going in with her shenanigans.

"she was pushing it."

nanami was silently proud of you for being able to defend yourself though, "well, at the end of the day, you won the fight. right?"

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

[simpjaes]

https://www.tumblr.com/mintmatcha/752094001959665664/whats-your-faves-secret-kink

👀 if you ever wanna elaborate i’m all ears but no pressure my queen 😘

-🐯

LINK: what's your faves secret kink? NOTE: so, for the sake of this idea, let's ignore the more vanilla stuff such as: choking, dirty talk, spanking, etc. i wanna throw around some harder kinks. reminder that this is just what //i// would only hope for jay and jake in particular. MDNI

Jay ―

i'd love to say he'd probably have a knife or blood kink but I highly doubt my dreams would come true regarding that. I do, however, think he's the type to have the biggest breeding kink out of the entirety of any of my biases. i think this because he's def a family man. his breeding kink would come entirely from the need of domesticated sex acts. missionary position and mating press are his fave positions because he knows his cum shoots deep, and he also loves looking into your ears when you listen to his half-moaned out promises of giving you his baby.

cuckholding. it's not that he likes sharing, but he likes you enough to allow just about anything in the bedroom considering he's a service top to the max. to the point you can top him, to the point he'd watch anyone top you as long as you're pleased with the experience. he'd be perfectly fine getting himself off watching, solely because your needs would come before his own. after marriage tho? hotwifing is def his thing, like "hey everyone, come fuck this pussy worse than I can!"

speaking of hotwifing..... this is super similar to cuckolding but it is not the same. this act would come from his immense love and connection to you. He would encourage you sleeping with other men and/or women solely because he's proud to show you off in that regard. Kind of like putting you up on a sex pedestal. In other words, he encourages you to have sex with other people [preferably with him watching]and in a way wants to show other sexual partners that no matter how good they fuck you, he's the one who is yours, and you're the one who is his. like, damn you had all this sexual pleasure and still chose to marry him? what a catch!!!

Jake ―

hahahaha...emotional play/humiliation. which can lead to a lot of different kinks and fetishes that can branch off of this like, degradation, body fluid kinks (spit, blood, piss, cum), voyeurism, exhibitionism, sexual shame, etc) i'm not saying he's always the one who wants to be humiliated either, i just think he'd really get off on awkward embarrassment whether it's him feeling it or you feeling it. even something as small as being with you in public and seeing your tits through the shirt you just spilled a drink on. you're embarrassed, trying to cover yourself, but he sees all the eyes on you. He can see how other people are getting turned on, but he's the one who gets to touch and grope those tits...so...he definitely would. right there in public. he'd probably get off on his own humiliation too though. Sending a dick pic to you by accident before you guys ever started dating? Something about it would turn him on beyond belief solely because you saw it.

along with humiliation, i think he'd be into impact play. again, on equal levels and not just coming from his side. spanking and slapping but not lightly. I mean real impact play. Full force slaps that sting even the one hitting, swollen skin, heat radiating from each area of impact. i think he'd like the sensation both on himself and offering it to another, though it would need to be entirely consenting because I don't think he'd ever want to harm someone he's fucking unless they get turned on by it. it would be more than just with hands too though. Whips, paddles, canes, all sorts of items could be used for it when you're really playing. would probably even get a paddle with your respective names on it. LOVING the swell of his name raising from your skin, probably cumming on instinct when he feels your name raise on his own. (this can also lead into him having a thing for marking, scratching, and/or anything that will leave a reminder of what the two of you do to each other. including body writing...thanks oomf for the thoughts)

last but not least, fr, i could go all day, queening. jake would probably beg for you to sit on his face. no matter what you put in his mouth he's licking it. ass first? yes please. pussy first? hell yeah!!! i genuinely think he would prefer eating if the force is holding him down. he wants to drown in it, wants to be held down, wants to be smothered by it for real. Probably really into the act of you sitting on his face and leaning down to choke him out while you grind on his tongue, even more into it when you lift and hold it just out of reach so he can humiliate himself in the way he cranes his neck, points his tongue out to try and reach it again, only to whimper and beg for you to sit back down and use him like a throne

[scaredofbrits]

having the afton men as your bosses

william afton & micheal afton hcs

nsfw headcannons will be colored red.

william afton ✦

• he was a very serious man, to say the least. he didnt want any of his workers to see him act like a goof.

• "none of you will be prepared for the real world if you cannot behave correctly at your job."

• but then you came along. and every bit of respect he had for his reputation was shattered. not with other people, of course, but with you.

• instead of seeing william as your tough boss, you saw him as your literal reason to wake up everyday.

• and to him, you were his pretty little assistant. his good girl, even.

• sometimes, he'd give you extra work just to see you everyday.

• and other times, that work would lead to staying at the job extra late.

• once you would finish all that hard extra work, he'd reward you in various ways.

• "you did such a good job for me." he'd grin as he fingered you with all his power and speed.

• "my slutty little assistant fucking herself on my fingers.."

• his praise and degrading could drive anyone crazy for more.

• when you two would have sex during work hours, he'd tease you about noise the whole time.

• "shhhh, you don't want all your friends to know how cock thirsty you are.." and he'd cover your mouth.

• he made more than sure to fuck you so rough that your moans were extremely loud, and youd leave his office embarrassed.

• but what you didnt know was that the walls were soundproof. he just liked fucking around with you.

• nothing surprised him more than seeing your whore side for the first time. and oh did he love seeing it.

micheal afton ✦

• he was super sweet to all of his workers. bringing gifts, joking around, and being kind overall was his specialty.

• "how did you all sleep today?" he'd say over the intercom with genuine curiosity.

• once you had become his assistant, he could not resist you. a different side of him came along. a more needy one.

• he was always buying you gorgeous flowers every single day. and even though you were his assistant, he demanded nothing from you.

• and since he was an amazing conversation starter, you'd usually be found sitting on top of his desk talking to him.

• when your shift was over, he'd always say "time goes by so fast, doesnt it?" and that was his trick to make you stay.

• "a few more minutes, please? i'll do anything, gorgeous, please." was his other go to.

• he loved seeing you on top of his desk like you owned it. and he also loved seeing you mess around with his name plate on the desk. just fidgeting with it.

• and he wished youd fidget with him. just use him and treat him like your little fuck toy.

• one time, you wore a skirt to work. and of course that pervert kept sneaking glances at your revealed thighs and panties. those sights made his cock throb.

• and when he got horny? oh you were in for it. so much begging. "touch me please please please. look at how hard i am baby, please."

• "its okay if you dont wanna touch me, i'll touch myself and you can watch. tell me thats okay mommy. please."

• it was definitely hard to say no, especially with those puppy eyes he'd give. he acted like you getting rid of his boner was the best thing to ever happen to him.

• and when youd suck him off occasionally, he would absolutely lose it. he loved your mouth so much and he felt the need to repay you the same way.

• if you pleased him a certain way, he'd try his hardest to make it up to you the same way. suck him off? he'll eat you out. hand job? you get fingered.

• at the end of the day, all he wanted to do was be a good boy for his gorgeous girl. sometimes flowers didnt feel like enough to please you, so he had to try other ways.

[princessbrunette]

Rafe with a reader who's known around as being a tease, all talk. I feel like he wouldn't like it very much

s1 rafe again bc for some reason im obsessed w him lately

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

he’s heard about you. a tease, as they call it — always flirting, batting your eyelashes up at every guy and then never putting out. no one was quite sure what kind of sick game you were playing, attracting the eyes of many at every kook gathering or country club outing but rafe was intrigued. not enough to do anything about it, but enough to watch from a far and ponder.

but you wanted rafe, and all his attention — which is why you’re sat right up next to him on a couch at some stuffy mansion party, watching him cut coke for one of his friends. youre practically pressed to his side, and he’s barely giving you the time of day, only making you want him more.

the only reason you turned down all those guys was because you only wanted him. even flirty girls like yourself could gain hardcore crushes, and now he was right by your side it felt like it was going nowhere.

“what you want, huh? you after somethin’ free? coke?” he glances at you, simultaneously waving to one of his friends across the room. you pout, not even able to hold his focus. luckily for you, your tipsiness made you more bold. bold and horny.

“m’interested in you.” you thumb at the sleeve of his polo, sulky and childishly begging for his attention. he laughs, eyes creasing at the side and at first you don’t even know if it was directed at you, until he turns his head— dropping the expression to something faux-serious, wide eyes and parted lips.

“oh yeah? me and the 50 other poor suckers you’re stringin’ along?” he teases and you shake your head, watching as his pal lifts his head from snorting the white lines, sliding a wad of cash across the table through the residue. rafe picks it up, starting to count it.

“you know i never actually do anything with those guys…” you defend.

“so i heard.” he turns back to you, cash fanned between two hands. “and you’ve chosen me tonight as your next victim. y’not gonna get so lucky there, sweetheart.”

“why not?” you couldn’t believe how pathetic you sounded, and maybe you were a masochist because something about the way he was the one controlling the conversation instead of you for once felt good.

“‘cus i’m not an idiot.” he folds the cash, pulling a clip out of his pocket and clipping the wad— shoving it deep into his pocket as he sends a parting smile to the customer. “what do you actually— i mean actually want from me?”

you look up at him beneath your lashes, a doll like appearance to your demure pout. damn, he thinks— you’re good at this.

“i’m just attracted to you rafe. wanted to talk to you. if you’re not interested just tell me. no need to embarrass me.”

he stares at you for a moment, and he kind of feels himself feel a little nagging guilt at his chest which he doesn’t appreciate. he sighs, shifting his body a little more towards you and pinches your jaw, making you look at him. it’s not a super rough gesture, but you blink in surprise anyway and the feeling goes straight to your pussy.

“and what’s gonna happen if we go upstairs to talk some more, hm?” he challenges making you swallow hard, never having felt needier for someone you’ve only had around seven fleeting conversations with in your life.

“w—we can get to know eachother and then maybe… can get to know other parts of you…” you admit, somehow shyly despite being such a floozy with other men. it fills him with pride at the fact he’s brought that side out of you, that is if that side is real of course.

he looks down at his crotch and back up at you suggestively. such a boy, you shouldn’t like it this much. “n’what about when i pull it out, huh? y’gonna run away?” he speaks lower, quieter, he’s talking about his dick to you in the middle of this party and you’re stupidly wet.

your lips part, eyes glancing at his mouth like you can’t contain yourself and your throat even trembles with the quietest mewl, relishing in the way his fingers clutch your jaw. “g’nna spit on it. suck on it. whatever you want, rafe…” your voice is airy, desperate. he smirks and lets go.

“alright. we’ll see. i’ll find you, yeah? got some business to attend to.” he gets up, leaving you. rafe cameron was making you work for it.

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

[class-1b-bull]

I hope you're having a great day!

Do you have headcanons for 1-B with an SO who has a mutant type quirk? One that makes them super self-conscious of their (slightly monstrous) appearance? Thank you!

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - every time you start to feel insecure he just reminds you that litterally everyone is different and they are all unique people (like you :) 10/10 comfort lmao

Sen - he will have you model for him and he shows off the pictures to anyone and everyone (cuz they gorgeous ov) and they always make you feel a bit better. :>

Kamakiri - you tell him youre insecure and hes just like "okay? And?" He doesnt care what other people look like lmao.

Kuroiro - he would want to hype you up and help you be less insecure about your mutations but hes way to shy. Anytime he tries to compliment anyone he just kinda freezes rip.

Kendo - she always reminds you that your quirk and mutations are nothing to be insecure about because its what makes you unique

Kodai - she starts to (calmly) talk about how cool she thinks your quirk and overall appearance is. Shes so sweet about it and 100% lets you talk to her about your insecurities whenever.

Komori - takes you shopping and rants to you about mushrooms so you forget your insecure. Then she brags cuz she made you forget you were feeling self conscious in the first place lmao

Shiozaki - she starts praying for you to have better self images each day. She also spends a lot of time complimenting and comforting you when youre feeling insecure.

Shishida - makes tea and just turns into your therapist. Lmao

Shoda - he has no idea how to help people that are feeling insecure. Hes not good at that kind of thing so he just hovers around you until you start to feel better.

Pony - shopping pt2. She doesnt do anything specific (other than compliment you) but she does point out your mutations in a positive way like "this top would bring out your horns" or smthn like that with a big goofy smile.

Tsubaraba - #1 hype man. He is the definition of the "haha dont cry your so sexy haha" meme.

Tetsutetsu - "but the mutations make you look manly asf..." hes also lowkey shit at comforting people but he tries.

Tokage - turns into your number 1 cheerleader. Hypes you up for everything (to the point where its almost embarrassing honestly but she means no harm <3)

Manga - he draws you a ton and shows everyone in the class saying shit like. "BAM look how cool they look!" And other stuff like that.

Honenuki - he also has a mutation quirk that he is (or at least was) insecure about so he completely understands where your coming from. He actively tries to hype you up.

Bondo - he is also very insecure about his mutations so he completely understands. He tries to compliment you often to help you feel less insecure

Monoma - he compliments you by belittling class 1-a (lowkey shit at comforting btw)

Reiko - "heres 101 reasons why your wrong..." she starts telling you how valued you are but her tone of voice makes it sound like an insult. (She means well tho <3)

Rin - he softly talks down any insecurities you have while gently rubbing your back /arm and telling you how much he (and the others) value you <3 10/10

I took a long ass nap and woke up to like 7+ asks and then I got overwhelmed and put all of them off for like 3 days sorry lmaoo

[ni-kol-koru]

KnB 30-Days Challenge

Day 10 : Favorite Team

Shūtoku High School BC 🏀🧡

Another very difficult choice for me. Every team in this show has unique characters, an interesting dynamic and their own unique playstyle and something special, like a quirk. I kind of know what my TOP 3 teams are, but choosing one of them seemed like an impossible mission... So, I made a little system that will help me pick my favorite team. When I added and substracted some points, Shūtoku won!     

Shūtoku, as a team, has some of my most favorite characters ever. It is also the only team (after Rakuzan) in which I love and adore absolutely every member! Since I rambled about Shintarō and Kiyoshi, and am going to ramble about Kazunari very soon, let me just talk about the forgotten two of Shūtoku: Taisuke Ōtsubo and Shinsuke Kimura. A lot of people seem to forget that these two guys exist. They don't look super flashy, like Shintarō and Kiyoshi for example, because they have dark brown hair and dark brown eyes and generic hairstyles. They don't have prominent personalities either, like the other 3 members, who have their own very distinctive quirks and personality traits. But, that is just the surface. I was very curious one day and decided to scratch it and dive a little more into the lives and personalities of these two handsome boys. Well, after researching about them, they turned out to be very interesting, and dear to me.    

Taisuke Ōtsubo. He is a serious, responsible, determined captain and a great sportsman. He is the pillar of his team on the court and is there to cover up the mistakes of his fellow members by saving every rebound he can. Everybody seems to think he is just tall, strong and scary and rough, but seriously, this guy is just a teddy bear. Other than being very kind and showing it in form of great sportmanship, he has some really surprising hobbies. It's cooking, cleaning, and knitting! In Extras, he is shown to be really skilled with needles and yarn, knitting a scarf almost 2 meters long during a boring class! He also carries things he made in his bag all the time, like mittens, hats... These things he does are not usually something that men do, and I just love how he looks like the manliest man ever and has these hobbies, breaking the patriarchal norms. He also really loves his team and always takes care of his teammates, knowing how to motivate them and cheer them up when it's needed, and tending to them when practices get tough and they feel sick. My favorite thing about him is that he likes spending his free time with his little sister, Ōtsubo Tae! Her age was never confirmed, but she is somewhere around 15, or maybe even 16, if we think about what Yūya said. Now, a lot of big brothers seem to, for some reason, find it boring, and even embarrassing, to hang out with their little sisters, but no, not Taisuke Ōtsubo. This guy loves it, we know it because he chooses to spend his free time in her presence! Taisuke is 18 years old, a grown man, basketball player, graduate student, preparing for college and adult life, and in a busy time like that, when he finds free time, he still spends time with his little sister. I can totally see them cooking together and cleaning together, but another activity that I can see them doing is just, talking. Taisuke can sit and talk with his sister all day, listening to her without feeling the need to interrupt her of mansplain anything if she just needs to let things out, or offering honest advice and support when she needs it. He is also surely protective of her, making sure to let everybody in her life know that if they hurt her in any way, he will find out and they will pay for it. He is just ready to do anything for his sister, I think. Another little detail about his character, that I really love, is that he is part of the Library Committee, which means he likes to read, and help people find books they like! Not only that, but his favorite subject is physcis, which means he is good at it, and that only reveals how smart he actually is! This man literally has the words 'Perfect Guy' on his forehead, how can people sleep on him like that? The only thing he can't do is kill a cockroach (actual canon and his actual only shortcoming).   

Shinsuke Kimura. Calm, hard-working, doesn't like the spotlight and prefers to stay out of trouble. That's pretty much the only things people know about him. Though, reading between the lines of his behaviour, I found a couple of really endearing character traits! I He is a really supportive person, but he is doing it rather quietly most of the time. In games, he sets up solid screens to give his teammates freedom to move and opportunities to score, though. He also brings delicious fruits when practices get exhausting, and he is there to help his teammates if they ever feel sick, like when he was rubbing Kazunari's back and called for help when he felt like throwing up. He is even supportive in the strangest way possible, by always offering a pineapple to Kiyoshi when he is irritated, supporting his dear friend's anger issues. When times call for it, he knows how to motivate his teammates and give them a reason to stand up on their feet and continue fighting. He is extremely hard-working and he proved it by practicing harder than everyone until he finally reached the starter line. That's a thing I really admire him for. Something that caught my attention when reading his Wiki page and exploring his character was how he likes to spend his free time. He spends it by helping at home. Now, if you know that his family owns a convenience store and grows their own fruits, it probably means that he helps with taking care of the said plants, carries heavy boxes, cleans the store, helps in organising new arrivals, works as a cashier and so on... However, if you ever happened to notice the fact that he doesn't have a mother, it adds another, whole different meaning. Having only a father means that all the house and store responsibilities fall onto him when his boys are at school, which is difficult to balance. So, taking care of the house, cleaning it and cooking meals, probably sometimes falls onto his two sons, and very likely Shinsuke, as the older brother, takes care of most of those things. This boy is another level of hard-working. We can even gyess that he gave up college to continue the family's bussiness, because he is never shown worrying about any college entrance exams, like the other two Third Years. He is just, wow. The moment I completely fell in love with him was when I listened to a Special CD. In the said CD, he reveals such a beautiful side of himself and he tells us about something really important for him. He talks about wrestling. He has been doing it since he is 8 years old, it's something that he loves a lot and is extremely passionate about! I wish you guys could hear his voice when he talks about wrestling, he just sounds so happy and passionate! Oh, and he gets so excited when he finds out Shintarō knows a thing or two about his sport! Listening to that part of the CD always makes my little heart melt! Shinsuke is so precious to me and I just love him so much!

If you get into typology, Shinsuke and Taisuke both have a Kanji in their names that means 'Support', showing how important they are for the Shūtoku team. Also, they are really handsome, and it's a hill I will die on. If anyone disagrees with me on this one, I am willing to argue until the end of time.   

Now, the characters aren't even the best part of this team. What I endlessly love is the chemistry and all the different friendships between all of them!

Three Third years and two First years in a single team is a really interesting combination itself. Almost like parents and children. Getting along with each other, as two separate generations, was probably something that they had to work on a lot, but in the end, they did it! Since the beginning, the First years had respect for their Seniors by listening to them and respecting their opinions. Sometimes, the Third years had to pick their younger members up and give them motivation to keep fighting. They are also there to tend to the boys when they feel unwell and are always willing to offer their help when they get in trouble, like in the Midorima's Unlucky Day Extra! An important step towards the team working well was Third years getting along with the fact that the First years, were indeed, special, and needed to be cut some slack for such behaviour from time to time. Honestly, realising that they will be on the same team only for a single year breaks my heart every time, it breaks theirs as well... The moment Shintarō and Kazunari pointed that out in their game against Rakuzan was the only time I cried in the show. Seriously, I love these guys so much.     

Shūtoku has some really interesting friendships as well, one of the most precious friendships being the one between Kazunari and Shintarō. It is obvious that these two are inseparable! After all, they are always there for each other, on the basketball court, in school and even in private life, offering support and having fun! Kazunari cares for Shintarō really deeply, and he shows it by carrying some of his neccesities, such as tape for fingers and sometimes even lucky items with himself, and always being there to cheer him up and protect him if the upperclassmen are picking on him. Shintarō is pretty tsundere, usually trying hard to not show how much he actually appreciates Kazunari and his thoughtfulness, but every time he softly smiles and relies on his dear friend he reveals to us how much he appreciates him.

Another friendship that is very dear to me is the one between Kiyoshi and Shinsuke! These two share the same story on how they got their well deserved positions as the starter members of the basketball team. They worked harder than everyone, stayed late to practice and got close because of that, possibly practicing with each other a bunch of times. But that's not everything, The Extras really reveal just how close these two are! They are actually classmates as well! Being in the same class with someone surely brings two people together, so these two being in the same classroom for 3 consecutive years surely did its wonders! Now, their personalities might clash a little, because Shinsuke is calm and Kiyoshi is rather uptight, Shinsuke prefers to stay out of trouble while Kiyoshi attracts a lot of trouble, but they are also similar in their determination, seriousness and hard-work, which is why they can probably get along. In the anime, we can also see these two tease each other sometimes, in the besties way, of course. The Extras also show how sometimes, when paired up, these two know how to 'have fun' by poking at their underclassmen (which is a little mean, but they never really hurt anyone, as far as I know, so they are forgiven). Oh, and of course, they have this famous pineapple/pick-up truck deal, where Shinsuke always offers his fruits or vehicle to his dear friend when he is irritated. It is just so iconic, like their own little inside joke!

There is also something very interesting going on between Taisuke and Kiyoshi. At one point in the anime, Taisuke reveals to Shintarō and Kazunari that they go to idol concerts together and that idols are actually their common interest! As someone who is into idols myself, I can see them collecting albums, CDs and photocards and trading them with each other all the time, which is something that is fun when done with friends! But that's not quite it... Remember when Taisuke said he was really used to seeing Kiyoshi work so hard? Well, I somehow came to an idea that they practiced basketball together, more specifically, that Taisuke helped Kiyoshi with polishing his fundamentals and mastering dribbling against an opponent with good defense. This duo kind of makes sense, because Taisuke is just supportive like that, he is the type of a guy who would help others in need with no hesitation, and Kiyoshi just screams 'someone help' as a character and a person, and especially in that period of time, I think. So, naturally, they were kinda drawn to each other, and later when they realised they have some things in common, they became good friends! I can kind of see Kiyoshi always feel so grateful for Taisuke because he supported him and helped him in some really tough times, and probably even picked him up when he fell. Also, before Taisuke revealed their shared interest to his underclassmen, he was about to say something about Kiyoshi, but he cut himself in the middle of his sentence and never said it. I can feel that he was about to say something really nice about him, groundbreaking for their relationship even, and I am still mad he never finished it...

Shūtoku is also a team with a lot of brothers and sisters, where every regular memeber we know has a younger sibling! Shintarō, Kazunari and Taisuke have younger sisters, while Shinsuke and Kiyoshi have younger brothers! Sadly, we never got to truly meet any of them. We only know something little about Yūya, only know Tae's name and looks, and the appearance of little Kimura. Unfortunately, we have nothing for little Midorima and little Takao. Well, still, it's really something interesting to think about, all the possible big brother tropes that the regulars of Shūtoku might be! It's sad that we don't have almost anything for some of these younger siblings, but that doesn't have to be all that bad! It leaves room for our own imagination and creativity to shine, we can make up our own fun headcanons for their looks, ages, personalities and relationships!

I just love this team so much! 🧡

[fandoms-uniteds-blog]

My Top 10 Favorite Cartoons!

Number 10 Octonauts

What attracted me to this show when I was ten was the lessons on animals since most shows for little kids are about shapes, numbers, letter, and other boring stuff. But not the Octonauts! They talk about two of my favorite things: science and animals. And sea creatures no less. When was the last time you’ve seen a show meant for young children that educated them on the ocean and everything in it? Maybe that one show on PBS with the Cat in the Hat? But I like Octonauts better. Just look at those designs. Absolutely adorable!

It’s simple, it’s cute, and it’s surprisingly interesting sometimes.

I used to be super embarrassed for watching a show meant for toddlers since I’m in my twenties, but then I found out that their are grown adults that enjoy wholesome shows too, like Paw Patrol and PJ Masks! It was a nice relief to know that I wasn’t the only one.

Number 9 Wander over Yonder

This has got to be the sweetest show to every be put on Television. Most main characters have to be strong and cool and have an internal struggle to be impressing, but Wander doesn’t. He’s the cinnamon roll of all cinnamon rolls!

All he does is travel the universe with his bestie Sylvia (in a bubble!) and goes sightseeing. And if he happens to help people along the way, even better!

What gets me about this show is that Wonder’s optimistic and naivety doesn’t always lead to everything being hunky dory. Sometimes being nice gets him in trouble or makes even the simplest tasks harder than necessary. Heck, if Sylvia wasn’t there to have his back, his kindness would be a lot easier to take advantage of.

And I love that because it’s true that sometime being nice doesn’t feel as accomplishing as is should and can even backfire on us. But even though Wander’s experienced betrayal and hardships in his life, he still has enough hope in his heart to keep helping people.

Number 8 LEGO Ninjago

I remember when this show came out all those years ago. Back when TV’s were these big, chunky machines and you had to prop them up on tables instead of mounting them on walls.

This show is full of so much creativity and lore. From the elemental powers, to Ninjago City’s history, to the characters, and even the ideas that were dropped, it’s no wonder why the show’s still going. It’s great watching Kai, Jay, Cole, and Zane make friends, battle enemies, learn life lessons, discover secrets about themselves, and go on the craziest adventures.

I ended up being too busy because of middle school after season 3 ended and missed out of the rest of it up until Sea Bound was announced. Thanks to the birthday specials LEGO did for Ninjago’s anniversary, I learned that the show was still running and on Netflix. So me and my sister binge watched the series from the start and we fell right back in love with it.

Number 7 Transformers Animated

Out of all the Transformers series, this one is my personal favorite. Yes the other shows are pretty good too, but this one is different from all the other shows, comics, games, and movies. And I like different!

Optimus Prime has been depicted as a lot of things. A war hero that keeps his men’s spirits up with good humor and cheesy quips (G1). A powerful warrior who has become jaded after a millennia of war (Bay). A stoic leader and friend who won’t give up hope for a better future (Prime). But TFA Optimus isn’t any of that. If anything, he’s a little bit of everything but still his own thing.

And Optimus’s not the only one who’s different. Prowl is a nature loving ninja, Ratchet is a grouchy war veteran who cares about his team, Bulkhead is full of knowledge and creativity, and Bumblebee is the kid of the group with a lot to learn. The Decepticons are just as entertaining too with their own unique abilities and personalities.

All in all, there isn’t any other version of Transformers like this one and I wish more long time franchises would try something new from time to time.

Number 6 LEGO Monkie Kid

Based on one of the four classic Chinese literatures, Monkie Kid is a wonderful adaptation of a four hundred year old book that’s had a crap ton of movies, shows, and even an upcoming video game inspired by it.

I’m very picky about shows and movies based on history, mythology, or folklore. I like it when it’s accurate, but understand when things have to be changed around. It’s why I’m not the biggest Disney’s Hercules fan since they got the mythology completely and utterly wrong.

But Monkie Kid is freaking amazing. The amination is so colorful and lively and exhilarating! MK, the Monkey King, and all of their friends are so much fun to watch and I love all of them. The story is wild and mystical, which is fitting since Chinese folklore makes little to no sense but is still entertaining as heck. Don’t believe me? Read the original Journey to the West novels and just try to make logical sense out of it. Like why the dragon stays a horse for 95% of the book when he can be a huge fire breathing dragon!

I used to bug my little sister to watch this show with me all the time. And her being the little sh*t that she is always said “no” just because she has this weird habit of turning me down. But I was finally able to tie her down and force her to watch the first season! And guess what? She liked it! All this talk about NoT bEiNg InTeReStEd and now she’s getting ready to go cosplay as MK for a convention!

Number 5 Gargoyles

This has got to be Disney’s coolest show of all time. Disney usually sticks with cutey family friendly stuff like Duck Tales and Goof Troop, but they decided to take a risk and try to gain an older audience with Gargoyles. And they succeeded!

The show’s based on some of Shakespeare's books and has a good mix of fantasy and sci-fi. Especially when it takes places in 90′s New York. It also teaches a lot of mature life lessons like the importance of taking responsibility for your actions, the dangers of being stubborn and in denial, prejudice, gun safety, death, and so much more.

The characters are all lovable tropes of the 90′s, including the smart one (Lexington), the big eater (Broadway), the guy who wants to look cool but is actually a dork (Brooklyn), the dog (Bronx), the wise mentor (Hutson), the badass leader (goliath), and the girl of the group (Elisa). But their personalities and arcs are expanded on after the first few episodes. And the people they met also get a chance to shine in their own way and I appreciate that.

I’d recommend this to anyone who’s into Shakespeare or anyone who needs something to push their interest towards those kinds of stories.

Number 4 Arcane

I’m not a gamer, so I have little to no information on League of Legends. I don’t know the characters, the landscapes, the items, the history, or the lore of this world. But you don’t need to be a LoL fan to watch Arcane.

The animation? Gorgeous. The music? Amazing. The action? Thrilling! The characters? Complex. The voice acting? Impressive. And the story in general? Captivating.

I like how this show demonstrates how everyone’s actions have consequences and that there’s more to people than meets the eyes. Humans (and whatever other creatures exist in this world) are complex being and the choices we make don’t just affect our own life, but the lives of others too. Seeing the domino effect of everyone’s actions is as entertaining as it is nerve wracking since no one knows what the end results will be until it’s too late.

Another thing I love about this show is that it’s a Netflix original so it’s translated in Spanish. I was able to watch Arcane with my parents and they loved it. It was so much fun watching their reactions to the action, the conflict, and the sisters’ relationship because the two of them are very vocal and expressive. When the season one finale ended with that jaw dropper of a cliffhanger, they were both waiting for me to put on the next episode. They were devastated when I told them that that was it and had to wait for season two.

Number 3 Final Space

Like most animated series nowadays, Final Space is a mix of goofy, angsty, and lore heavy. But then, as the series progresses, the angst is doubled, if not tripled, and the side characters are given a chance to be fleshed out.

Everyone in the show has a story to tell. Gary, Mooncake, Avocato, Little Cato, Quinn, HUE, and everyone else have a past that ends with them being brought together to help each other reach their goals. Each with their own strength, weaknesses, and arcs to go through that make us love or hate them.

The first season is easily a fun space adventure with a few mysterious for us to look forward to and heart felt moments that have us sobbing. Then season two ups the stakes with the universe needing saving and more trauma for the characters to endure. And then there’s season three, which hits us in the feels in every episode and leaves us with an ending like no other.

If you're going to watch this show, then I’d advise you to prepare yourself emotionally.

Number 2 Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

If you haven’t guessed one of my guilty pleasures from my favorite Transformers shows, I like it when the usual formula is shaken up a bit.

The TMNT franchise has had dozens of shows, movies, comics, and video games dedicated to these guys. All of them about four mutant turtles in their teens being raised as ninjas by their rat father and using their skills to fight all kinds of evil lurking in New York City.

But Rise turns the sci-fi into fantasy and use that to give us something brand new. Not just rebooted, but reimagined! Each turtle is a different species, they have their own unique powers, they have different personalities from their previous incarnations, and the adventures they go on feel a lot more fun and sometimes grander than before.

And it’s not just the TMNT part that I love. The animation is jaw dropping. The voice acting is very fitting. The humor leaves me laughing every time. The action scenes are so fast and creative. The characters are likable and memorable. And the brotherly relationship of Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey are put front and center for us to gush over.

I know some people have a thing about changes, but if you give this show a chance, I swear you’ll love it.

Number 1 Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart

I have never related to a fictional character before, much less three, yet here they are in the form of a grumpy cat with big dreams, a cybernetic badger with a big imagination, and a chaotic bat with a big heart.

And if you’ve watched even one episode of the show and know what I mean when I say that I relate to them, then yes, you should be very concern for my mental health.

This show is truly a treasure. It has everything I love in a cartoon and more. It has fluff, angst, mystery, comedy, friendship, bromance, humor, hurt/comfort, sci-fi, fantasy, anthro animals, and the classic found family trope all rolled into one! What else is there to say other than this show is nothing less than amazing. The characters are charming, the world is interesting, the adventures are entertaining, the visual humor is hilarious, and the main trio have their own tragic backstories that make them easy to sympathize with.

Funny story: me and my little sister were watching it together and she started laughing her butt off when Badgerclops was complaining to Mao Mao and Adorabat about having too many chores. I was glad she was enjoying herself until it got to the part where Badgerclops was says something along the lines of “It’s always Badgerclops, fix the arocycle. Badgerclops, go get groceries. It’s overwhelming dude!” Then my b*tch of a sister turns to me with a sh*t eating grin and goes “Rose, do the dishes. Rose, clean the bathroom,” and laughed in my face!

It’s not my fault I live with a bunch of gluttons who can’t put their dirty dishes in the kitchen or wipe the bathroom sink after they splash water everywhere!

...

Wait a minute, why do a lot of of my favorite shows end in tragedy?! And I don’t mean the final episode or whatever, I mean the program as a whole! Final Space was canceled after giving us a depressing season three finale, Gargoyles had a terrible season three because Disney switched their writers with people who knew nothing about the show and had to wing it, Transformers Animated was cancelled when a season four was planned, ROTTMNT was “put on hold” for years until the movie came out with hopes of bringing it back, Wander over Yonder was going to have a season three with an ever bigger baddy but was shot down, and Mao Mao was promised a season two until a certain company that will burn in hell took that away from us!

Hopefully Ninjago, Arcane, Octonauts, and Monkie Kid aren’t hit with the same bad luck.

Just how many more amazing shows were screwed over and why are they always the ones I love?!

[mysteriawrites]

Since your soulmate match up is still open, I was hoping I could participate? Sorry if this is super long!

I’m a straight Bengali girl, who’s a little chubby and has a lot of acne scars (both of which I’m insecure about, though, I’ve been staring to like my acne scars lately). I wear glasses and without them, the world around me is very blurry. I’m pretty shy and nervous, so I sort of have trouble speaking to strangers or people I don’t know well. But once I’m comfortable around you and we mutually see each other as friends, I’m able to show you my chaotic side and feel comfortable saying some pretty wild things. I also make quite a few sexual jokes. Though I am more comfortable to speak freely with my friends, if I’m in a relatively big group that consists of my friends, I get really nervous speaking in front of all of them, so I opt to talk to individuals rather than the collective. I crave for physical affection but I never ask for it because I’ll feel bad if I get rejected of such, so I’ll wait til someone decide to give me affection. I’m a huge romantic fan and love reading romance stories or fanfic, and I love men who are completely obsessed with you. If I’m going to be honest, I feel more attracted to depressed or sad men rather than happy or cheerful men. I love eating food, but don’t really like eating in front of people much cause I always feel like I’m being judge for the way I eat even if that’s not actually the case. I can’t help it, so I prefer to eat alone. My favourite food is chicken curry and rice! I have trouble keeping eye contact so I usually look somewhere else while talking to people, but I do occasionally (while in the conversation) do make eye contact. There are times where it takes time for my brain to process some situations or dialogue, and I have an awfully memory. I also hate reading out load cause my brain takes time to process the words on the paper for me to read out load, so it makes me say the words out load slowly and almost choppy, you know? I love my friends very much and always love to hang out with them, even if we are simply in a room together only doing our own thing. I just like being in their presence. Though, once my social battery runs out, I’d like to be alone in my room (though, if I have a romantic partner, I wouldn’t mind them being with me). I’m always open to be their for my friends if they are down and listen to their problems, but not good at verbally comforting them, so I’m open for providing them physical comfort such as a hug or rubbing their back if that’s what they want. If I don’t anything embarrassing, I will constantly think about the moment for years and best myself over it and mentally redo that whole conversation or action in a way better way that I should have done to have not embarrassed myself earlier, you know? I very kind and often give people the benefit of the doubt, and I’m sort of a pushover, but I’m still able to say no to situations that make me uncomfortable.

I love reading, drawing, and creating ocs and world building. I’m such a mythology nerd, especially when it comes to Greek mythology (I have many books about these myths). I absolutely hate bugs and because of them, I hate being in forests and such cause I always get swarmed by them. I’m also afraid of the dark, so when I sleep, I leave my door open and the hallway light on.

If I have a crush anyone, I would constantly look for them in the crowd, think about them constantly, and want to be really affectionate towards them, but if I notice I’m getting to affection I distance myself more than I realize. I’m pretty insecure with myself so it’ll take a bit before I realize someone actually likes me romantically. Because of this, I’ll never confess.

Hey so I’m absolutely cool with doing this, but i need you to put the fandom for me please and thank you.

[khodorkovskaya]

18.08.23

i was invited to follow this two day course mandated by the government and it was pretty cool, i got to meet some new people. and i want to describe a couple of them to you bc some of them are like really weird. (also the right side of my keyboard, especially "p", "0" and apostrophe are like not working so apologies for any typos)

but yeah so to start off it was only men excet for me and this other girl. and she was really cool. tbh at first i thought i would be intimidated bc she has this startup and ive seen their ads on instagram and i thought it was this big thing. but i talked to her and the product's not out yet and she has a background in marketing, so no wonder the ads look really good. but as far as her project goes she's like just started and it's not super organised yet, so i was like oh okay. but yeah, she was cool!

then there was this tall blond italian guy with round glasses who wore a suit and he looked like some dark academia anime character. like he had these skinny legs and long arms and he had the look and the manerisms of a tumblr sexyman. it was so funny to me. i mean props to him for looking so polished, but he was literally the personofication of that triangle with the monocle everyone was obsessed with in 2014.

then there was a guy who developed/was on the sales team of this like nft puzzle game with monkeys. why are nfts always monkeys??? the art of the game was so ugly too. and no one really understood what the purpose of it was.

then there was a guy who was trying really hard to be like this miami rich guy vibe. you know the one. bald + button up shirt/polo + sunglasses + sportscar combo. sort of like andrew tate adjacent. he said that he recently bought a house in locarno and i was like jesus we are not the same are we.

and then, my least favourite of them all, there was this like middle aged guy who just gave off conspiracy theorist vibes. i couldnt quite put my finger on it. but like imagine the type of man whos like angry at the world and who probably follows eric zemour and some like niche youtube "lifecoaches" who talk about how the government controls all your data. his vibes were so off. and he kept going on and on about how he wants to disrupt the credit card market. and when someone asked him what the purpose of that was he said that it was confidential. like. i hate men like this.

it made me think about how like my ex B was into that kind of conspiracy theory mindset. and he was really into crypto. and he'd watch these like weird youtubers with 10k subscribers who'd make hour long videos about french politics. and i was like dude why do you care so much about france. if i could live the rest of my life not knowing anything about france i would. but he would purosefully watch videos about like the gilets jaunes or whatever. and dude who the fuck cares. it got really bad during covid cos he'd watch antivax videos all the time. it was so bad. thank god i dont have to ut up with that anymore.

but yeah it made me think about how B organised this like crypto conference at this hotel. and i was so embarrassed. but it was his passion so i didn't want to hurt his feelings and said nothing.

but he rented out a hotel conference room. and invited this like middle aged man to talk about his "legal tech" "startup". and there were quite a lot of peole, like at least 50, i was so surised! and i had such a "the king has no clothes" moment. bc there were all these people talking about crypto and this guy presenting a project that made zero sense and it was all at this hotel and it gave off such mlm pyramid scheme vibes. and i was sitting there like "am i the stupid one here"? am i the only one who can see that the king has no clothes or what? like

so yeah seeing that guy yesterday reminded me of B's weird interests. and it like triggered me in a way idk. bc at the end of the day who cares if there's a guy who gives off conspiracy theorist vibes? maybe he wasn't even a conspiracy theorist, whatever. but his just like presence made me so angry.

everyone else was pretty normal and the course was super interesting. but yeah, sometimes specific memories come up about B and our relationship. and it makes me shudder.

[comphet-critical]

What if i had sex with like four guys (only piv with one, but gave oral/handjobs or tried to with the others (i'm bad at it lmaoo)) but was drunk?? I mean, i wanted it to happen, and i remember even feeling dissapointed when they didn't have condoms with them so we couldn't do piv, but maybe it was just bc i was drunk and wasn't fully realizing what was going to happen?? As you can imagine, all four guys were strangers i met at the pub. Next day i didn't feel repulsed but i certainly didn't wanna know anything about these guys and even felt anxious when one of them kept on texting me (i had to block him)

Also, i had sex with one guy who i met on tinder (it was on our third date, and we had been talking for two months i think) back in march/april of last year, being fully sober and while it wasn't really pleasent bc he was too big for me and i was kind of awkward i didn't feel repulsed but when it ended and we went to sleep i felt super anxious about it bc i didn't really enjoy it either and couldn't really sleep :/

i went home the next day and we even had a fourth date and had a good time hanging out but i remember him implying that we could go to his home to hook up again and i excused myself saying that it was a really nice day outside and that we should enjoy it. Eventually, we kind of planed a 5th date in his house to watch a sport that we both liked but i felt anxious about it (bc i knew that he would try to have sex again) and i declined and eventually we stopped talking.

Apart from all of this, i think i've had crushes on boys/men, but i'm not really sure anymore, and i think that sometimes it was more wistful thinking or even admiration in the case of the celebrity ones??? But from time to time i find a guy attractive (mostly when i'm kind of buzzed but not always) and i don't know what to believe because granted my experiences i don't know if i would enjoy being sexual with him or not.

Like, last time, i was hanging with two of my friends and some friends of them and while we were drinking at my friend's house, one of them caught my eye and i kind of felt attracted to him and this only intessified when we went to the club and i tried to dance with him (and got succesful lol). I remember feeling jealous when he would dance with the other two girls in our group and happy when he started to dance with me. Also, i felt warm and comfortable with him touching me and i felt like i was into it. At some point i tried to make out with him but he let me know that he wasn't interested and just liked dancing with girls because of the sensuality or whatever (also i think he told me he was gay but then told another girl he had a girlfriend so to this day i don't know lmaoo) and so nothing happened and eventually we went home and i was very embarrassed the next day bc i probs made him uncomfortable. Also, when we were saying our goodbyes i told our mutual friend that i wanted her to let me know when he was coming on our next night out and apparently i was very insistent over it.

Aaaaaaand i could give other examples of my experiences with men, but i'm already sorry i made you read this. But basically there's been men in which i have had some interest/crush but i could never really test it because i never tried or because they weren't interested. On the other hand, because of this sometimes i've settled for guys that wanted me and entertained them for the night, a few days (twice at a summer camp lmao), and with the tinder guy i guess for a month, before i got tired/anxious (the ones i made out while on a night out were more or less fun, mostly initiated by them. The only time i really initiated and felt like i wanted to know about the guy the next day i forgot to get his number and our mutual friend said he wasn't attending classes anymore lmao).

And lastly (bestie i swear i'm sorry for putting you through this) i kinda had two boyfriends when i was like 8 and 12 (so not really bf but you get it) and the first one didn't really like me and when he told me i remember crying and feeling upset about it and the other one apparenlty didn't like me either (we actually dated for like 3 months even if we didn't see each other that much but we kissed and i didn't feel repulsed nor anxious, which it's interesting i guess, but also it didn't feel special, just fine i guess) and lets say i was dramatic and made a scene in front of mutual friends and people made fun of me for several years which affected me and made me really insecure (among other things but whatever).

Sooo, i know you are not a psychologist (i should talk to this to a therapist, i know) but what do you think about my experiences?? I know i'm attracted to girls but figuring out how i feel about boys is so difficult and makes me stressed and sometimes i think it even consumes me?? Almost as it was a puzzle and i needed to me make sense of all the pieces and i can't rest till i figure it out. Btw, i'm a 23 y/o and at some point i thought of my self as a lesbian due to some of these expierences but then i've met a guy that caught my eye or that i kind of felt attracted to (like the one i danced with) and i don't know what to think. Anyway, sorry for all of this, in a way i just needed to vent because it's all to much.

you’re bisexual

[yeahyeahwhateverrr]

ok, to get to the point, i have a huge problem with men that Is causing me a daily obstacle/actually hindering my life at this point. And i guess I'll talk about that, but I'd like to make a point first before anything, that even though there is an explanation for my actions, there is no justification whatsoever, never will be. Men deserve delicacy and kindness just like everyone else, even if they may or may not be bad. But if they're bad, obviously I'm gonna be a shithead. Like bad, bad. Not normal bad, nobody is always morally correct. Even though my own triggers with normal men over small things make me not trust them easily, so i try to suppress rage and resentment towards them. And it's just healthier to tackle that and just talk about it, not to them, unless it's necessary i guess? But at least to someone not involved that sees a different perspective and is able to help, and God knows i can't afford therapy right now lol. So that's a long ways ahead. I'm doing what i can with the tools i have, but they're obviously shit and work sometimes. "I" statements and DBT therapy wasn't enough ok lol. That's on me but obviously i need some more intervention there. Bc i get unbelievably fucking mad out of nowhere, not even bc of men. Idk, but anyways -

I have a lot to work on, and I'm gonna make mistakes, so i should probably withdraw for periods of time. (even though that's proven bad for me, bc then people find me having episodes where I'm crying uncontrollably and talking incoherently about a lot of shit and i cant remember those. Then I'm fucking embarrassed, like i don't even drink when those happen, like do i get sleep deprived...? Wtf) but maybe during those times, I'll have have to take here and there to avoid, so i can still do self introspection and coach myself somehow? Or ask people how they deal with that personally, something that at least shows I'm trying to make the effort to change for the better. But men absolutely deserve to be nurtured and loved just like anyone else, and to feel security. And they shouldn't have to shut out their own emotions, and they definitely need people to be patient with them bc obviously men are taught at a young age to bottle shit up/ignore it/it's whatever, you're a boy, etc whatever fucking bullshit. I was raised the same way, but that's besides the point, really? But men really do deserve to have their inner child healed and dealt with appropriately as well. Eventually I'll have to work my way up to therapy though, and work on that one super hard and see if i can break through it. Bc it's been my strongest barrier my whole life, when i shouldn't be holding my problems against certain people against all men. They're not all aggressors or monster, they're people just like me. And when i act and do things a certain way i make myself unsafe not only to men but others as well. And i want to acknowledge that and apologize for that sincerely for anyone I've hurt. An apology will not mend or fix that hurt, but i want to at least realize the pain I've caused + as well as apologize bc i feel remorse, not bc i don't want to get caught. But bc it's not being fair to others, it's not giving people a chance, and it's just really fucking unnecessary, quite frankly. So i am sorry for that, and i don't expect to be forgiven.

Now i will talk about my examples with men, but as i said, not a justification, but merely an explanation for my behaviors. My experiences in life with men, so at least there is some understanding there.

Was with dad and his friend downtown, i was maybe 13-15 range, we used to listen to music every Saturday downtown. My dad wasn't drinking, not specifying for anonymity reasons. His friend was. My dad was standing beside him, listening to the music, his friend was behind me, uncomfortable close as i was sitting down in those fabric lawn chairs. Just excited to be with my dad, and his friend started leaning forward, and i felt something hard against my neck, and maybe he was just having a hard time keeping himself up. But wouldn't it be soft? Like idk, how do dicks work, i could definitely feel that shit on my neck, and i remember freezing up when i realized. He's just a drunk though so that has to be it, but every other of my dad's friends didn't like me. And he was the only one that actually went out of his way to talk to me.

Was with my dad outside his apt at the same age range, while he was working on his motorcycle, dude came walking from the bar, stopped by to talk to my dad, kept looking at me, and was like, "you have a really beautiful daughters, i have daughters myself." And just kept staring at me the whole time. Mf looked like Lester off of GTA 5 i shit you not, just skinnier. my dad didn't really acknowledge him, and then the dude walked off, and my dad didn't tell me to go inside or anything, it was night and summer. He drove off to test his motorcycle at the time, leaving me outside. And i was feeling weird, so i locked the door and went upstairs, looking out the window on the main street we were on, and the dude was walking across the street slowly (like the other side this time, he was lingering for a while actually.) and looked up at me and didn't pull away his eyes.

My stepdad and his SIL were drinking one night, and i came out. I was the same age, i used to get hit on a lot as a teenager. (Surprisingly, I'm not conventionally attractive, but i was really, really skinny at the time) and his SIL who was and still is with his daughter, started calling me cute and picking at me. And started joking that he wanted to take me to McDonald's so he could get me a "big Mac". i may be Autistic, but i understand fucked up social cues when i hear them. I'm not that retarded, not saying anyone is, but i wish people wouldn't undermine me. Constantly. My stepdad was coaxing it on, and he actually opened up the garage, and his SIL was trying to get me to come outside with him, very insistent. It didn't feel like a joke anymore. He had his keys ready and everything and wanted "to just take me for a ride." (Same man that put a gun to my stepdads daughters head btw threatening to kill him and her) i was like NO. And kept saying it over and over, my stomach was definitely churning that night. Something felt wrong, i don't think he wouldve raped me, i don't think he's that vile, but i felt really aggressive bc my boundaries weren't being respected. If you don't listen to me, sorry but idgaf about your feelings at that point. Maybe I'm looking too much into these experiences

First ex (cheated on me, admitted to it later bc i wouldn't give him what he wanted) i was 14 and didn't care about sex. And it was my first relationship. When we eventually got back together like 2 years later ish, he wouldn't even talk to me, acknowledge me, brushed me off and would actually push me off of him. Completely cold. I cried and said i was gonna go home, and he said what are you gonna do? Walk all the way home to your dad and tell him where you were? So i stayed and i don't really want to talk about it, not traumatizing. Can't say it was, not going to insinuate or say anything there. He wasn't a bad guy, just high sex drive. Did he make me cry a lot that night and got actually vocally shitty at me for crying? Yes lol

Being flirted with at gas stations when my dad used to send me down to them, with money so he could get 2 liters and maybe some candy lol. That's definitely a lot less malicious, not so bad. Having a man whisper to you in your ear some nasty shit when you're literally at the register is a different story though. I was 16 lol. At least when i told him he backed tf off. He was like oh shit nvm. So a respectful gentleman for that at least, definitely not traumatizing, just a funny story now.

My friends uncle hitting on me and looking me up and down heavily when i was at her house, i was definitely not 18 yet. But he also really flirts with any woman, to be fair. She was uncomfortable as fuck too. I remember when i went home with her one day in high school, her brother and uncle both picked us up, nothing said weird about me. But were saying the high school girls were jail bait and. Yeah. That's not really traumatizing, just made me feel gross.

Obviously i also have trauma with women, i was molested as a kid. But that has no relation to this. I will not explain further than that, bc I'm not mad at who did it to me, does it hurt and make things awkward? Yes. Absolutely lol. But i will never put it against them.

Now i will explain things a little more, but this should absolutely be taken with a grain of salt, and just moreso weird experiences. I do not want to incriminate anyone, i do not want to point fingers or even insinuate anything. I'm fine, im cool, the brain is just a weird thing. i used to have dreams of having sex as a kid, even though I didn't know what that was. Only explanation i can think of is accidentally being exposed to porn, but i can't say for sure bc i was really small. Someone would be on top of me, my vision would be blurry/like looking through a fishbowl lens, couldn't see the person's face, so maybe even sleep paralysis. But I'd feel someone on top of me, and then the motions of missionary. I'd have no thoughts at first, like just the vision and looking up. And then it was like a melting, like i was slowly becoming aware, and then i started to feel a spike of adrenaline and slight panic (?) (Only way i know how to explain that, and then i blacked out. I would just black out.) I remembered that when i got older, and then when i first had sex ever, it reminded me of it. I was like woah, this is familiar. But i can't quite pin my feelings on it. I talked to my sister about it, she used to have the same dreams all the time apparently. But she thinks it was spiritual warfare/spirits raping us, but she was also really whacked out of her mind on meth at the time. She's clean, at least she says she is now. Then asked, "what happened to you child?" Idk bro but we talk about something else now lol idk. Nothing happened I'm fine, repressed memories aren't real. Repressed Emotions are, however. But memories can be falsified and made up. So it was just dreams. I'm fine, I'm ok. I'm fine. Did i get night terrors apparently as a teenager? Yeah haha, but i got a few of them at my dad's. My mom never said anything. My stepmom and dad were watching a movie one night, i was asleep already in my room, and she heard me screaming and crying, just screaming NO and STOP over and over, so she came to check up on me i guess, and was thrashing about looking like i was trying to fight someone off and sobbing hysterically while my eyes were wide open. My dad said he heard nothing, so idk lol. The next morning, had no idea, she confronted me quietly, and was like, did something happen to you? Like who hurt you? Like why are we getting really quiet? 😳🥹🥹 I definitely woke myself up to sobbing quite a few times, like really heavily. Feeling pain in my chest. But that's not night terrors. I remember another dream i had as a kid, where i was sitting on the floor in front of my mom, the living room was dim, only one light on that she was sitting beside. I was in front of her sitting on the floor, in my Dora onesie. And she told me to stay out of the darkness and stay away from the ghost. (? Lol this sounds so fucking cliche or made up sorry, it's just an uncomfortable dream so it's sat with me forever) and sure as fuck a ghost comes down the hallway towards me, picks me up, starts taking me down the hallway, and started to unzip my Dora onesie, and the ghost started to rub around my nipple in a circular motion, and walked me into My parents bedroom, which it was at the time. Now it's just my mom's. And has been. The bedroom was dramatically dark in my dream lol. I had the weird sex dreams and that one literally both when i was In elementary school still. Funny how the brain works, right?

My sister i was talking about earlier actually is getting night terrors to this day apparently, and she's older than me. If that's saying anything. But she was an actual victim of molestation and rape in the same house. I didn't know about the rape until way later. She doesn't like to sit in silence or be with her thoughts or anxiety. So she usually needed something to occupy her mind. So now she's literally on sedatives and hardcore meds. I don't blame her, life has been tough on her. I love her and care about her, and i worry about her everyday. I don't think she's doing anything bad, we just been through a lot of shit together. She is my best friend.

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

[fallingstarsandeagles]

I’m honestly completely freaking out because byler has been the main catalyst for sending me into a total sexuality crisis and I have no one in my real life I can vent to about this. I’m feeling kind of embarrassed to admit to all these details here, but the byler community has been so supportive and loving that I feel like I can trust you guys. Please do not feel compelled to read this as it would be self absorbed to believe everyone would be interested in my life. However if you are the least bit curious I would love to hear your feedback.

To give a bit of background I am a 22 year old girl who has always thought she was straight. I never really thought I felt attraction for woman but I honestly didn’t feel a super strong attraction to men either. I definitely got crushes on guys and kissed a few guys through my early teens. In junior year I had a boyfriend for like 4 months that I met through an organization, but we didn’t go to school together and neither of us had our licenses so we didn’t see each other that often. I lost interest very quickly and I slowly stopped talking to him until he broke up with me (actions I am horrified by now) the common denominator in all of these scenarios is I did not feel the a strong connection with any of these guys or even enjoyed spending time with them that much.

Often times it’s just much harder for me to be myself around guys compared to girls. There were also a couple scenarios where I was asked out by guys I had no interest in and I rejected them. This is a cliche to admit but I also made out with a few girls at my overnight camp under the guise of practicing kissing. It was an exciting experience but not what I viewed as life changing or that it gave me any realization moment. I honestly didn’t take anything from it. In tv and movies I mainly gravitated toward straight couple although they would often be less conventional ships that usually didn’t end up together.

I also feel I should add that I experienced some pretty serious bullying at my overnight camp in an experience that slowly escalated over the years from my best friends transforming into my bullies. Their behavior shifted so gradually and I so desperately wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening so I remained in denial and convinced myself that I was over exaggerating their behavior. When I confronted people about how they treated me much shittier than every one else they would say I was being dramatic or just refuse to respond to me. So I couldn’t be sure if what I was experiencing was real or if it was happening in my head. I greatly internalized the idea that I was just being dramatic and attention seeking.

These experiences have given me anxiety and depressing and left me with a very low self esteem and a deep distrust of my own social sensibilities and etiquette. I was left feeling deeply misunderstood by everyone around me and I clung to to these toxic friendships out of fear that I could never find anyone else. To give some examples of how I was treated in one instance one girl invited everyone in the group chat to a Halloween party she was hosting. About a week later she texted me individually saying she actually couldn’t host the party. I found out during Christmas that she actually made a separate group chat without me after that and only uninvited me. No one told me about this until I asked people about it around Christmas. In another instance a girl I have been best friends with since I was 4 who I convinced to start coming to this camp started dating that guy who was especially cruel in his behavior toward me. This is literally a girl I got poison ivy with, got my ears pierced with, and snuck out with. And she didn’t give a fuck about getting with a guy who treated her supposed best friend like shit. It was super hard to let go of these friendships. I remember feeling like a mistake and feeling like no one would understand me. It felt like I was always on the outside and their was a window between me and the rest of the world.

I eventually made about 2 really good friends that I can be myself around. That means I can be super passionate about things like books and tv shows without having to hold back. But I still have a lot of trauma from that time. Before byler their was Hizzie a w/w ship from an honestly terrible spinoff show legacies. But hizzie was the highlight for me even though it was never canon (despite 2 love confessions) The interesting thing was from this show I mostly clung to and related to the main character Lizzie Saltzman who was a complex character with bipolar disorder who often feels broken and has a codependent relationship with her sister. The narrative often frames her as narcissistic when in reality she can be very selfless. I strongly saw and felt comp het within her based on how she interacted with her male love interests and how it contrasted how she interacted with Hope. I felt indignant when I saw people call their bond sisterly. And I felt heartbroken when Lizzie ended up with a man that she was never that interested in. I honestly can’t tell if I want to be Lizzie or if I was in love with her.

And then there was Byler. I started watching stranger things after season 2 and I hadn’t really paid attention to byler. I thought they were cute but I also thought Mileven was cute although I didn’t actively ship them. Tbh the couple I shipped most upon first watch was jancy. And then when I watched season 3 I fell in love with Will’s character. His arc of feeling like he was falling behind the rest of his friends felt painfully familiar for me. I immediately saw his as queer though I honestly didn’t even really consider him being in love with Mike. Then I saw season 4 vol 1. About a week after vol 1 came out I found byler tumblr and it all spiraled from there. I’ve been obsessed. I check the tag everyday, I read basically ever byler fic, I watch tik tok analysis, im in a byler insta group chat. It makes me so giddy to think about them.

And I also start thinking more about internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. And it just got me thinking. I can’t think of a single instance in my entire life where I had a deep crush on a guy I actually knew beyond the surface especially after the age of 14. All I really had were random hookup or two that always felt awkward. I was heartbroken by vol 2 but now have hope for season 5. Then I just watched Do Revenge and wanted camilas and maya’s characters to make out the entire time even though their relationship was toxic af. And I’m just… confused. I’ve never really thought through the process of dating a girl. I’ve never processed that as an option. But now that I am it seems potentially more appealing than the other option. But I still don’t even know if I’m attracted to girls. I think girls are beautiful but how do I know if I’m attracted to them. And a part of me just thinks I’m being dramatic or doing this for attention. Or that I just feel lonely and I feel a kinship with the lgbtq+ community so I’m clinging to it. I don’t know what to do. I’m crying writing this post and feeling really alone. I doubt anyone made it this far but if you did please let me know what you think. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my long ramble.

Also I thought I should add that I was absolutely heartbroken and upset when my best girl friend from middle and high school said we would go to prom together and then she end up ditching me after a guy she didn’t even like asked her. I had absolutely no thoughts that I could possibly like her or be attracted to her at the time and I’m still not sure I see her that way because our relationship felt pretty platonic. That was another unbalanced friendship where I was giving way more than I was getting back yet I was so reluctant to let go of it.

[darkmulti]

hi, can you write yandere! bts reaction to you slapping them in an argument please?

⚠️: Yandere!BTS, slapping, implied smut, manipulation

-> sorry for any mistakes

»»———————————- ♔ -———————————«��

Jin

Jin was once again, being narrow minded. “It was for work, Jin! I wasn’t working with him for fun, it’s our job. I can’t believe you punched him in the face. You embarrassed me in front of everyone!”

“Great! If you’re embarrassed, quit your job! So you never have to see them again!

“I’m not quitting! You can get that out of your head! I would leave you before quitting-” a hard slap cut you off. You instinctively covered your stinging cheek and took a step back. You were in a state of shock. Yes, you and Jin had petty arguments here and there but they never got physical. By the end of the day, you guys worked it out. However, after he laid his hand on you, you knew it was over. You looked up at him and slapped him right back. “Fuck you! We’re over.”

You turned around and ran upstairs to your shared bedroom. This house was under Jin’s name so it was you who has to go. You grabbed your suitcase and started packing all your clothes. Jin rushed into the shared room and pulled your suitcase away. He dumped all the clothes on the ground and threw the suitcase across the room.

“You’re not fucking leaving! Hang up all these clothes. Stop overreacting like a pathetic little bitch.”

You scoff and get off the floor. “I’m a ‘pathetic little bitch’?! Says my insecure husband.”

“You won’t be able to survive without me. No other man would be able to spoil you like I do. I’ve given you the high life, now obey me in return.”

“I’m not your slave, I don’t have to fucking listen to you.”

“Do you pay the bills in this house?! Do you buy the groceries?! Do you pay for insurance?! No? Then, shut up. You wouldn’t have anything if it weren’t for me. You’d probably be living on the streets if I didn’t take you in. I was the one who made sure you got that job because I knew it would make you happy. If it weren’t for me, those guys would’ve laughed in your face, Y/N. All you do is go to work, flirt with your co-workers and act all big shot around me. The least you could do is respect me and our relationship.” With that, he slammed the door shut, leaving you alone while you questioned your worth.

Yoongi

It started off as a calm and quiet evening but as soon as your phone vibrated, it quickly changed.

You began working for a new company and your new boss has been up your ass. He treats you like a personal assistant and it was pissing you off. You noticed that you were the only one who was being treated like this and it angered you. Once you’re clocked out, you don’t like to be disturbed unless it’s urgent. But your boss doesn’t seem to understand that and asks you to do work while your clocked out. You obviously refuse because why should you do work if you’re not getting paid?

Anyways, he’s always texting you about how to do different kinds of paper work, who’s working, who’s not working, how to hire people, ect — he should know how to do all of it because he’s the boss. When your off work, he’s texting you ever 10-15 minutes, asking for help. You’re tired of it, but can’t really do anything about it. You can’t quit just yet because you’re trying to prove to your boyfriend that you don’t need him to survive.

Yoongi has always underestimated you. Man literally thinks that you’re dumb. One night, you both got into a heated argument and he told you that you wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for him. The very next day, you went to a bunch of job interviews and got hired on that same day.

It’s been two weeks at your new job and ever since, your phone is always blowing up thanks to your boss. Even at 10pm, your boss is texting you about work. Yoongi became annoyed because you were always on your phone. You guys got into another argument about this so now, you hide your phone from him so he can’t see the notifications.

Ever since then, things have been a little better. Tonight was movie night and you foolishly had your phone in your hand. Throughout the movie, your phone was lighting up and vibrating multiple times and a Yoongi was tired of it.

“Who the hell are you texting now?!” He snatched your phone out of your hands and when he saw that it was your boss, he threw your phone against the wall. “I told you to block that man! Yet, you go against me and continue to text him! Are you sleeping with him? Are you cheating on me with him?!” He screamed, making your heart leap out of your chest.

You didn’t say anything. Instead you ran to the door. You didn’t want to deal with him anymore. You deserved better. You tried to leave but he slammed the door on your fingers and pulled you back inside. You slapped his face and tried leaving again but he grabbed your hair and pulled you down to the basement.

“You made me do this to you. I warned you plenty of times to stay off your phone but do you listen to me? No. I’ve given you too much freedom and now you don’t know how to behave. That stops now.”

Hoseok

“Get up. Boss wants to see you.” The guards said, pulling you up by your arms and dragging you out of the cell. “Boss my asshole. Who does he think he is? Kidnapping me for no good reason. I just wanted coffee and now I’m god knows where!” The guard chuckles at your bratty behaviour. “Just a little advice, don’t talk to boss like that. He’ll blow your brains out.”

“Shut up, muscle head. Don’t tell me what to do.” The guard stops and aims a gun at your head. “Do it muscle head. Your boss will be so proud of you.” You said sarcastically. “Shut your mouth and keep walking. I may not be allowed to kill you but I can still still hurt you — really badly.”

“Are you threatening me muscle head?” You turn around, ready to scrap with the guard. He may be a lot bigger than you, but you’re a lot smarter and clever.

“Hey, hey, do we have a problem here?” A familiar voice interrupted. You turn around and your heart drops when you see his face. “No, boss. She’s just refusing to-”

“Hoseok?” You cut the guard off and step back. “Oh, so you still remember me?” He smirks and walks towards you but you keep walking back. “What do you want from me?”

“Isn’t the answer obvious? I want you back.”

“No! I broke up with you because you’re crazy. Leave me alone now. I’m a different person. I’m not the same Y/N that you manipulated and controlled. I left her behind. Now let me go!”

Hoseok cornered you. There was no where to run. “Are you sure that you left her behind? You’re claiming that you changed but you’re still very naive, darling.”

His words made your blood boil. Hoseok mentally and emotionally abused you. With the help of therapy, you were able to pick up and put your broken self together. You thought that you’ve become a stronger person, but as soon as you saw his face, your confidence was washed away.

“I- I told you, I’m different now!” You tried to sound brave, but your facial expression sold you out. Hoseok wasn’t dumb; he knew you were scared shitless. “So, show me that your a different person. How will you escape me this time, darling?” He traps you in between his arms and leans in close to your face. In a panic, you slapped him across the face and made a run for it.

You somehow managed to get out of his large mansion, but Hoseok was running after you the whole time. You tried losing him at sharp turns and big crowds, but he was right on your ass. You saw a security guard and bolted towards him. “Sir, sir! There’s a- a man...” you said, to catch your breath, “a man chasing me. He kidnapped me. Please, I need your help.”

“That’s enough darling.” Hoseok caught up to you and without a second thought, you hid behind the security guard. “Sir, please! Arrest this man! He kidnapped me!”

The security guard was ready to take action until he saw the man’s face. “M-mr. Jung?! Sir, I had no idea that she was running from you! Sir, I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!” The guard grabbed your arm and pushed you to Hoseok.

The commotion had everyone watching. The security guard was on his knees with his hands interlocked together. “Please spare my family and I. Mr. Jung it was an honest mistake.”

“What the hell?” You quietly muttered. “You see that, darling. Everyone is afraid of me. So you can run all you want, but you can never ever hide from me.”

Namjoon

After a long week of work, your husband wanted to treat you to dinner. You’ve both been extremely busy due to your hectic schedule and it’s caused you both to drift apart. The only time you see Namjoon is in the morning and before going to bed.

It was Friday evening and you were getting ready for date night. You wore a gorgeous dress that was somewhat revealing but you were fine with it. You just wanted to look good for your husband.

You both agreed to meet at the restaurant and when Namjoon saw you, his jaw dropped. He possessively wrapped his arm around your waist and guided you to your private table. It was outside on a balcony. You guys had an ocean view, the weather was perfect and the stars were out. It was super romantic.

The date was perfect until the waiter started checking you out. Namjoon was visibly annoyed by the waiter but kept it to himself until he left. “Why did you have to wear that dress? Are you doing this on purpose? So other guys can check you out?” You were taken back by his questions. “No, I wore this dress for you, not for some random men.”

Namjoon scoffed and bit the inside of his cheek. “When will you stop lying?” He mumbled, but you were able to pick it up. “I’m not lying, Joon. And quite frankly, I’m hurt that you think I’m doing this for other men. You’re making me feel bad about myself.”

You got up and left but he followed behind. You walked out of the restaurant and got into your car. You drove back home without giving Namjoon a second glance. Once you arrived home, Namjoon pulled up next to your car. You both entered the house in silence.

Namjoon’s phone began ringing so, he went upstairs to answer it. After tidying the house, you went upstairs and overheard his conversation. “We could’ve had a wonderful night, but my wife doesn’t know how to dress.”

Now, he’s pissed you off. You slam open the room door, grab his phone and hang up. “Do you enjoy putting your own wife down?! Do you enjoy humiliating her?! I wore this dress for you! I wanted to look good for you! I wanted you to complement me and tell me I look pretty but instead you slut shame me!”

Out of anger, you slap him across the face. “I want a divorce. I’m not staying with someone who made me feel like complete shit. You can keep this house, I don’t want anything from you.”

Namjoon looked down and started to laugh. His laugh gradually got louder and it started to creep you out. You took a couple steps away from him but he noticed and grabbed your wrist. “You want a divorce? So you can go back to that restaurant and gets that waiters number? Over my dead body. You’re never leaving me. If I have to hurt you, I will.”

Jimin

“Jimin! Stop it! You’re overreacting!”

Jimin dragged you out of his friends house and pushed you into the car, creating a scene. Everyone was watching him degrade you for not wearing your wedding ring.

“You forgot?! What kind of wife do I have?! Are you dumb?! How could you forgot to wear your wedding ring?! That ring shows everyone that you’re mine!”

Jimin was full on screaming in your face and you couldn’t handle it. You broke down crying into your hands. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you! It truly wasn’t my intention.” You were beyond terrified. You didn’t want to go home because you knew he would punish you. Even though he humiliated in front of everyone, you’d rather stay around people than go home and be alone with him.

You were about to go down on your knees until he slapped you and dragged you along. You tried getting out of his grip and in the process you accidentally slapped him. It wasn’t a hard slap or anything, you were just trying to get away. But of course, Jimin made it a big deal.

“First, you forgot your wedding ring; second, you flirted with all my friends and now, you slapped me?! Why don’t you want to leave, huh?! Who are you sleeping with?! Who are you trying to replace me with?!”

“No one! I didn’t mean to slap you! I’m sorry!” You were crying your eyes out. You’ve never seen Jimin this aggravated. You were afraid of what he might do to you so, you gave in because you didn’t want to worsen your punishment. He pushed you into the car and slammed the door shut. Throughout the car ride, his hand squeezed your thigh.

“You don’t even know what’s coming your way. Just wait till we get home” He muttered, causing your heart to drop into your stomach.

Taehyung

“Taehyung! Let me go! People are going to notice that I’m missing! You can’t keep me here forever!” You yelled, banging on the metal door.

It was your foolish mistake; trying to break up with him at his house. The moment you told him you want to part ways, he grabbed you and pushed you into the basement. Of course you fought back, but miserably lost against him. Now it was a game of waiting. Waiting for someone to notice your presence missing.

- 3 days later -

It been a couple days and you’re still locked in the basement. There was no clock or a window so you couldn’t keep track of time. Taehyung hadn’t come downstairs to check on you either. You were starving and living off the bathroom tap water. You were lying on the ground, looking lifeless when the heavy metal doors opened.

“Are you done playing your childish games?” Taehyung asked, crossing his arms. “You should be asking yourself that question, Taehyung. I’m not playing any games. I’m serious when I say I want out of this relationship.”

Taehyung closed the doors and walked towards you. He grabbed your shirt and pulled you close to his face. “All the years we spent together, you wanna throw it all away, angel?”

You turn your head away from him, avoiding his dark orbs. Taehyung noticed you avoiding his eyes so he pushed you against the wall and leaned in close to your face. “Look at me when I talk to you, angel. Or are you scared?” You were on the verge of tears but you didn’t want to appear weak in front of him. You looked him straight in the eyes and muttered, “get away from me.”

“You don’t tell me what to do, angel...” he grabbed your ear and tugged on it, “I’m your master. You listen to me.” His deep voice sent chills down your spine. You were close to dropping on your knees and submitting to him out of fear. But you didn’t. You couldn’t show him that you’re weak. “Taehyung, I’m serious! Get away from me!”

Taehyung frowned. You were really getting on his nerve. Was he not a good boyfriend? He spoiled you with gifts, spent all his time with you and he never cheated on you. What was he doing wrong? He thought to himself. “Why is my perfect, little, angel acting out? Look at me, angel. Tell me what I did wrong? Did you fall out of love? Did you find someone new?”

You look at him, dumbfounded. “Taehyung, you’re trying to control me! You’re making my decisions for me. I can’t go out alone, and if I do, you stalk me! Then you get possessive for no reason! You almost killed my bestfriend because he gave me a hug! You take things too far and you don’t trust me even after being together for years! You just want to control my life and feel like I’m suffocating when I’m with you.”

You could see fire in Taehyung’s eyes. He raised his hand, ready to slap you but before he could, you slapped him and ran for your life. You were light headed and weak, however if Taehyung finds you, you’ll face severe consequences.

Jungkook

Jungkook was going on and on about you going out with your male bestfriend.

You texted Jungkook last minute because you knew if you had told him earlier, he wouldn’t allow you to go. You simply messaged him, “I’m going out with Namjoon, I’ll be home by 6pm.”

Jungkook was livid. He called you multiple times but you were too scared to pick up. Finally, his 7th attempt was when you decided to pick up.

“Where the fuck are you?! I’m coming to pick you up right now.”

“Jungkook we just came to the restaurant, I’m not leaving.”

“Do you think it’s appropriate to go to a restaurant with another man?! What if people think you guys are dating, huh? You’re a fucking cheater. Tell me your location, now!”

“For the love of god, I’m not cheating on you! Namjoon and I have known each other since middle school. I’ve known him longer than I’ve known you. We are nothing but friends.”

Jungkook was pissed. He hung up the phone and went home. He poured himself a glass of whiskey before sitting down on the couch. He was waiting for your arrival. It was 5:54pm when the front door opened. You were right on time.

“See, I told you I’d be back by 6pm. I don’t know why you have to make everything such a big deal.”

“While I’m working my ass off, you’re out with another man.” He said, putting the glass of whiskey down.

“I work too, Jungkook. And I’m a full time student. If you want to get even with me, go out with your female friends. I wouldn’t mind at all. As long as they remain friends.”

Jungkook stood up and starting walking towards you. “So, you can cheat, but I can’t?” A taunting smile took over his face.

“Again, Jungkook? I am not cheating on you! Namjoon is just my close friend. That’s all. Nothing more or less.” You said, crossing your arms and unconsciously stepping back.

“Stop lying. Just tell me now and maybe I’ll forgive you.” You scoff and roll your eyes. “I don’t have time to deal with you, Jungkook. I’m tired.”

“Yeah, because you were fucking around with Namjoon, right?”

You couldn’t take it anymore. You turned around to leave but Jungkook pulled you back, harshly. Instinctively, your hand landed a heavy slap on his face. Unexpectedly, Jungkook slapped you right back — but a lot harder.

You winced as you held your warm cheek. Hot tears gliding down your face. Without thinking twice, you made a run for the door but Jungkook tackled you to the floor.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?!”

You can make your own ending:)

[callme-barnes]

Drunk Crushin’

*GIF is not mine*

Summary: You have a night out with the girls to get your mind off of your ex. Now your in the tower confessing things you wouldn’t be if you were sober.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader (with powers)

Word Count: 1,842

Warnings: None

A/N: Please do not repost my work anywhere! I wrote it for Tumblr so it stays on Tumblr. I’m trying to get back in the swing of writing things because well, I love writing. It’s been literal years since I’ve written anything so please be kind. I kind of just put this out as it goes. I don’t want to think about it too much or I will never publish anything. Anyways, for this pic I gave the reader the ability to manipulate nature but it doesn’t play a huge part in it. All mistakes are mine. Enjoy otherwise!

_______________________________________________________________________

The euphoric feeling of the satin dress on your skin was mixing in nicely with the feeling of too much alcohol in your system. The alcohol heightened the smooth sensation on your skin and the music caused you to sway from side to side to the rhythm, flashing lights dancing across the exposed skin of your legs, arms, and chest. Natasha and Wanda surrounded you, the pair of them a lot more sober than you were.

“Y/N/N...how are you feeling?”

You managed to open your eyes at hearing your name, although it sounded muffled due to your intoxication.

“I feel...amazing! Who...who needs men. Right? Right!”

Wanda couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her lips at your response

“Babe maybe we should have you drink some water. You’ve been on the dancefloor for hours” she mentioned in slight concern but also was amused at how carefree and happy you were in that moment.

“I’ll take...I’ll take another shot” you said blissfully, looking at Natasha and Wanda before you reached over and moved your arms around each of their shoulders

“Thank you guys so much...I...I needed this so much. I can’t believe...believe he would do something like that. I mean...what...what the fuck was he thinking?! And in my bed for fucks sake”

Wanda and Natasha moved to walk you towards a small corner booth, Wanda excusing herself so she could get you some water.

“Don’t worry about him babe. He was a fucking asshole. I couldn’t stand him. If I had a chance to cut his head off I would”

Y/N laughed to herself as she leaned into Natasha, resting her head on her shoulder, her own head spinning.

“I love you Natasha. And you Wanda!”

Wanda laughed at your coo and she slipped into the empty seat next to you helping you get your water bottle open

“I love you too babe. Now, let’s get you sobered up just a little and get you back to the compound”

You don’t even know how the conversation was started due to your head not really remembering any complex thoughts, but your mouth was running as if you knew exactly what you were talking about.

“He’s...holy fuck, if I could get my hands on that man. He is probably...probably the hottest man I have ever laid eyes on. I’m glad he managed to get into this era because...I mean, the 40’s didn’t appreciate him much”

Natasha had her arm wrapped around your waist, your heels clacking on the hardwood floor and your dress had ridden up dangerously short above your thigh. You were smiling to yourself as images of Bucky Barnes flooded your mind, your intoxicated brain flashing the most sinful, perverted thoughts.

“Have you seen the man workout...when he’s all sweaty and...out of breath”

Wanda set your stuff down on the counter with a small smirk on her face as she listened to you go on about the super soldier, having known all this by now. She had always agreed not to read your mind but you didn’t exactly make it hard to notice sometimes. She was pretty sure everybody in the tower knew about your crush on Bucky.

“Sorry Y/N, you’re the only one who has noticed that I’m afraid”

Natasha set you down on one of the stools, Wanda moving to stand next to you to keep you upright. You swayed a bit to yourself, looking around in a haze.

“Oh come on! Don’t tell me. We’ve all been in the same room with the guy! He once took his shirt off during a sparring match with Steve and I haven’t stopped...thinking about it since. But you gotta....you gotta shhh because my boyfriend would get mad if he knew”

Natasha laughed slightly as she took some snacks from the cupboard noticing Bucky walking into the kitchen Before he got a chance to ask what you guys were up to, you let out a scoff as you looked over drunkenly at Wanda

“Oh wait….I almost, forgot! I don’t even...have a boyfriend! Not anymore. Fucking bastard. He...you know what. Fuck that guy. I think I’m pretty hot, I am a...I can make life grow with these hands!” you say as you hold up your hands in front of both you and Wanda, Wanda reaching over and grabbing onto them causing you to lean into her chest, your eyes looking up

“You think...you think I’m hot don’t you Wanda?”

Bucky watched the display in front of him, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge then looked over at Natasha

“What’s all that about?”

Natasha ate a chip and looked over at Bucky speaking quietly, “She found Leo in bed with another woman this morning”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up, a bit in surprise but more so in disdain. He figured that’s how that guy would go out. Bucky would constantly see his wandering eyes when you would bring him around, even go far as catching up all up on some girl once. Leo had just laughed it off and said it wasn’t what it had looked like before before walking back to you. Since that day Bucky made sure to keep a close eye on him, which put Leo on his guard and just made it harder to catch him

“Asshole. How did she take it? Why didn’t she tell me?”

Natasha looked at Bucky with a knowing stare, “You know why she didn’t tell you. She hasn’t exactly been that open about her relationship since that day you told her you caught him on some girl at the BBQ last year”

Bucky drank more of his water and sighed, his gaze moving up to see you interacting with Wanda. He couldn’t help the slight smile that was on his lips as Wanda pushed hair from your face and spoke to you in a quiet, calming voice.

“Whose Natasha talking to? Hey Nat! I’m the drunk one here you’re not supposed to be the one talking….to yourself”

Natasha smiled in amusement as she ate more chips from the bag, “I’m not babe, I’m talking to Bucky”

Your eyes widened immediately as you straightened up from Wanda’s body and fumbled around with your hair, “Holy shit! Why didn’t you...tell me. Wanda how do I look?”

Wanda let out a laugh and shook her head as you loudly whispered to her, her hand going to hold onto you and smooth out your hair

“You look lovely Y/N/N”

You looked in Bucky’s general direction, a smile on your face at his words. You brought your chin to rest on your open palm on top of the counter, your eyes closing and opening so you could try to focus

“Y/N, Wanda and I are going to get out of this clothes and we’re going to bring you a change of clothes. Are you okay with Bucky for a few minutes?”

You let out a soft grumble in agreement, your eyes now just staying shut.

“Yeah. I mean as long as...he doesn’t take off his shirt because I wouldn’t remember it in the morning and that would be...a waste of a strip tease”

Bucky laughed a bit as he walked over and stood next to you to keep you upright, “Don’t worry doll my shirt will stay on”

Wanda and Natasha laughed to themselves before making their way to their rooms to change. Y/N felt her body sway to rest against Bucky’s torso, her head on his chest before Bucky moved to rest a hand on your waist

“Come on Y/N we should get you in a more stable seat”

You groaned as Bucky helped you up off the stool and made his way to the couch

“Bucky, you were right. I’m sorry, I should have...listened to you”

Bucky moved to set you down on the couch, taking a seat next to you “Right about what sweetheart?”

“About Leo...he was, he’s an asshole. That day at the BBQ, I knew...I knew you were telling me the truth. I just..do you know I had caught him talking to other women all the time? On his phone, when we went out. I just...I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want it to be true”

You moved to lay your head down in his lap and sniffled, “I tried everything, he just...I should have accepted that he didn’t want me”

Bucky moved his hand to push your hair out of your face, his other hand resting around your form “Don’t beat yourself up Y/N/N. He never deserved you. He’s an idiot if I’ve ever met one. And I’ve met many. If you want I can go scare him for you. You know, rough him up a little bit”

You laughed softly and shook your head, “It’s okay. Thank you though”

Bucky looked down as he continued to run his hand through your hair, watching as you held up one of your hands, “I should’ve choked him out with a vine when I had the chance”

He let out a loud laugh at this, his hand reaching up to take yours and set it down on your hip, “Calm down there Little Shop of Horrors”

Nat and Wanda entered the living area, clothes in hand, “Alright little lady let’s get you out of these clothes. Thank you Barnes”

Bucky helped you sit up, getting up when Wanda and Natasha sat down,“Bucky can’t leave. He smells nice, and he’s comfortable”

“Bucky can’t watch us change you sweetie. Remember, waste of a strip tease?”

Bucky smiled and turned around as Nat and Wanda helped you out of your dress and into a large t-shirt and shorts, “It’s okay I’d strip for that man any day”

Wanda scoffed with a laugh, Bucky’s smile growing into a happy little smirk at your words

“He’s still in the room lady behave”

“Oops, sorry”

You let out a drunken giggle as Wanda and Nat finished up, “Alright Bucky you can turn around. You’re welcome to join us. We’re just going to pop in a movie so we can keep an eye on her for the night”

Bucky nodded as he took his seat next to you again, letting you get comfortable in his lap again, his hand finding a comfortable spot on your waist.

“Psst...hey Nat you think I...got a chance with Bucky?”

Bucky looked down with a small smirk since Natasha was on the other sofa turning on the TV, “Absolutely doll”

You let out a content mumble of ‘thank god’ before stretching out your arm across Bucky’s lap.

“You know she’s not going to remember any of this when she wakes up right?”

Bucky looked up at Wanda before looking back down at your form

“Oh I know. That’s what’s going to make my days so much better for what I have planned”

[the-bau-quinjet]

You're an Idiot

Summary: Bucky panics when he thinks Y/N is catching on to his surprise.

Warnings: angst, mostly fluff

Word Count: 3531

a/n: This request is honestly so cute. It just makes me smile. :)

Masterlist

"Did you get it yet?" Steve skipped all formalities upon entering Bucky's room.

Bucky's head snapped up from the book he was reading, eyes immediately going to the closing door to make sure nobody was in the hall.

"Well? Did you?" Steve pestered, eager to share in his friends happiness.

"I did." Bucky sighed, knowing there was no keeping this from Steve.

"Let me see it!" There are no words to explain how excited Steve is for his best friend. When he first got Bucky back, a part of him was worried he would never recover from the pain and guilt.

That is, until Bucky met you. It wasn't an instantaneous change, but meeting you definitely affected Bucky.

He was more willing to spend time with the team. He was more likely be found in a common area instead of his own bedroom. Hell, he even smiled more.

Bucky carefully pulled out the drawer of his nightstand, retrieving a dark green velvet box. He opened it, his own eyes taking in the beauty of the ring before he turned it around to show Steve.

"Buck... She's going to love it." Steve smiled, eyes watering slightly. He's always been a romantic. "Have you decided how you're going to ask her?"

Bucky shook his head, quickly returning the box to its place in the drawer. He ran a hand through his hair, a physical manifestation of his nerves.

"I don't know. I have so many ideas, but none of them seem perfect." Bucky chanced a look at Steve, rolling his eyes at his friends exasperated look.

"Bucky. She'll think it's perfect because it's you. Trust me." Steve encouraged him, knowing he needed a bit of reassurance.

"Are you sure?" His recurring self doubt as beginning to peek through.

"Sure about what?" You popped into the room, never one to knock when it came to Bucky. Similarly, he never needed to knock to know he was welcome in your room.

"Just that Bucky deserves to be happy." Steve avoided Bucky's glare as he moved to exit that room.

"Well, that I can agree to!" You plopped down across his lap throwing your arms around his neck. You felt a familiar shiver as he moved his hands, one to your back and the other over your thigh.

"Well, it's a good thing I have you." Bucky pressed a quick kiss to your lips, waving at Steve as he closed the door.

"You make me happy too." You responded in kind, leaning into his embrace.

-

"So?" Steve questioned.

"Not yet." Bucky sighed, still unsure of the perfect way to propose to you.

"Buck. You've had it for 2 weeks! Just ask her!" Steve whisper yelled since the two were in the kitchen. Unfortunately, nosy ears still caught the conversation.

"Ask who, what?" Sam eagerly inserted himself into the conversation.

Bucky and Steve shared a look, only giving Sam a better idea as to what was going on.

"Oh my god. Oh my god! You're going to ask Y/N-"

"Ask me what?" You cut Sam off as you entered the kitchen, heading for the fridge.

"To train with me!" Sam quickly threw out an excuse.

"Okay? We train together all the time..." You looked between the three men confusion evident in the furrow of your brow.

"Well, yeah. But you've never flown before." Sam tried to further explain the lie, earning an excited smile from you and a glare from the two super soldiers.

"Seriously! Sam you swore you'd never let me fly your suit. What changed?" You narrowed your eyes, suspicious of the three men.

"Yeah, well Barnes practically begged me. He wanted to surprise you, but I guess I ruined that. My bad!" He replied, swiftly exiting the kitchen before you could further question him.

"Bucky, that is so sweet! Thank you so much! You know how much I want to fly that suit!" You ran to him, throwing your arms around him in a bear hug.

"Anything for you, doll. Anything for you."

-

"I think he's going to propose." You laid it all out on the line during girl's night. Three margaritas in, and you couldn't keep the thoughts to yourself anymore. It didn't matter how embarrassing it would be if you were wrong. Not when the tequila was doing the talking.

"Oh my god!" Wanda squealed, just as excited as you.

"Wow." Nat smirked, containing her happiness much better.

"I know! I'm just not sure when." You bit your lip, fidgeting a bit.

"Well, what do you know?" Nat asked for details.

"He was talking to Steve about something when I walked in and Steve said he deserves to be happy. Then, this morning Sam was freaking out about a question he was going to ask me. I mean, he covered it with something about letting me fly his suit, but still. I just have a feeling." You couldn't stop the smile from spreading across your face.

"Okay. He's probably just nervous then." Nat replied easily.

"Just drop some subtle hints that you would say yes. Maybe he just needs some reassurance!" Wanda grinned over the glass of her own margarita.

"Okay. Subtle hints. I can do that." You nodded to yourself, thoughts spinning with ways to let Bucky know you would say yes.

-

"I've got it." Bucky rushed into Steve's room, a wide smile on his face.

"You do?" Steve jumped from his desk, excitement overflowing.

Bucky vigorously nodded before explaining his plan.

"Two more weeks?!" Steve was dying for Bucky to just ask you, but if his plan had to wait two more weeks, so be it.

"Yes. It's perfect. She'll be so surprised!" You and Bucky had briefly talked about marriage before, but nothing in detail. Just enough that he knows you want to get married.

"I'm happy for you, bud. You really do deserve this." Steve patted him on the back, as he went through the plan one more time.

-

"Bucky?" You had been looking for him all over the compound before finally checking the living room.

He paused the film, turning all his attention to you. He smiled in greeting, gesturing for you to join him on the couch.

"What do you need?" His brows pinched together in concern, earning a sweet smile from you.

"I just wanted to ask what color you think I should paint my nails!" You showed him the various bottles you were carrying.

"Oh." His pinched brows now showcased his confusion. "Um, okay. Any particular reason why?"

"Not really. I'm thinking of getting a new ring soon, and I want my nails to look good when I take pictures of it!" You tried to sound nonchalant, but your heart was racing. Was this subtle enough?

Bucky's own heart picked up speed at the idea of you finding out before the surprise he had planned.

"Oh, that's nice. I'd go with the yellow. It's happy." He turned his attention back to the movie, trying to cut the conversation short.

"Okay, thank you!" You pressed a kiss to his cheek before leaving the room. Clearly you needed a better plan.

-

"Hi, Doll." Bucky greeted you as he entered the kitchen. "What are you making?"

"Italian Wedding Soup!" You exclaimed, excited to try another hint. "Don't you just love weddings?"

Bucky nearly choked on his water. "Um, yep. Yeah, wedding's are great. I've, uh, got to meet Steve for training! I'll see you later!" he nearly ran out of the room.

"Well, that didn't go well." You muttered to yourself, now angry at the soup.

-

"Bucky, can I ask you something?" He had been practically avoiding you for the last two days, ever since the soup incident.

"Of course." He met your eye, the nervous tone of your voice causing his heart to ache.

"Do you ever think about getting married?" You decided to just bite the bullet and ask him what you've been wondering for the last few days.

"Nope." He panicked. 100% panicked. "I don't believe in marriage."

His nerves caused him to miss the way your shoulders dropped.

"Oh."

"Yep. It's not for me. Just can't picture it." His head was screaming for him to stop talking, but he just kept rambling.

"Well, okay. I was, um, just wondering. Ya know. Wanda was talking about it the other day, so I was curious what you thought." You tried to cover your sadness, at least until you could get out of the room. "I'm actually going to grab lunch with Wanda now, so I'll see you later. Bye!"

You quickly ran out of the room, leaving Bucky to contemplate what the hell just happened.

-

"I was so wrong." You burst into tears the minute you entered Wanda's room.

"Honey! About what?" She pulled you across the room to her bed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"Bucky!" You cried harder as you said his name.

"What about him?" Wanda floundered, unused to seeing you so distraught.

"He doesn't want to propose! He doesn't believe in marriage." Your heart broke even further as you said the words out loud.

"What?!" Wanda's eyes were wide. Her mind went blank at the shock of hearing why you were so upset.

Suddenly the door swung open, Nat entering before quickly closing it again.

"I could hear her crying from down the hall. What happened?" Her own voice was laced with concern as she quickly moved to comfort you from the opposite side of Wanda.

"Bucky doesn't want to marry me!" You cried into your hands. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"Y/N, Bucky is crazy about you." Nat, ever the voice of reason, tried to calm you down.

"I know he loves me, but he doesn't wanna marry me." Your cries were calming down, silent tears streaming down your face as you hiccuped every so often.

"How do you know he doesn't want to marry you?" She questioned further, trying to get to the bottom of this. Nat knew, with 100% certainty, that he was planning to propose. She's seen the ring, even if nobody knows that she's seen it.

"I asked him if he ever thought about getting married..." You took a shaky breath, trying not to sob again. "And he said 'Nope. I don't believe in marriage.'"

Wanda and Nat made eye contact, each expressing their confusion over the words.

"Oh, honey. It's okay. Cry it out." Wanda let you lean into her and cry.

"I just, I feel so stupid." You sighed once more.

Marriage was never something you thought about until you met Bucky. Well, maybe when you were little, but who doesn't?

Ever since you discovered what it meant to be independent, you knew you didn't need to get married to live a fulfilling life. It wasn't something you deemed necessary.

At least, not before Bucky.

There's just something about how much you love him that makes you want to announce it to the world in front of your closest friends and family. You want to share that moment with him, where you express how completely devoted to each other you are.

Finding out Bucky doesn't want the same thing hurt.

"Y/N. You are absolutely not stupid. You love him, it only makes sense that you would think about a wedding." Wanda tried to console you as Nat put the pieces together in her head.

She knew Bucky must have a surprise proposal planned. He must've panicked when you asked him about getting married. Why he would panic that much is unknown to her, but still. That's the only explanation that makes sense. Of course, she couldn't tell you that.

"Bucky's an idiot if he doesn't want to marry you." She settled for blindly supporting your emotions instead.

"It's not me is it?" Your eyes went wide with fear.

"No, of course not!" Nat panicked. "You two are perfect together."

"Not perfect enough for him to want to marry me." You cried into Wanda's shoulder again.

Nat shook her head, silently pleading for Wanda to take over consoling you.

-

"Steve. I fucked up." Bucky couldn't stop replaying the look on your face when he said he doesn't believe in marriage. "And before you say anything about my language, there's no other word for how badly I just fucked up."

Steve eyed his friend with concern. "What did you do?"

"Well, Y/N, she's been hinting at wanting me to propose." He stalled briefly, not really wanting to admit it.

"That's a good thing. It means the two of you are on the same page." Steve tried to reassure him, blissfully unaware of what happened.

"I know. But, she flat out asked me if I ever think about getting married... and I panicked." Bucky refused to look Steve in the eye, opting instead to pace the room.

"Panicked how?" Steve's voice was hard. He always thought of you like a little sister, and if Bucky hurt you he would be livid.

"I told her... I told her I don't believe in marriage." Bucky mumbled under his breath, but Steve could still make out the words with his enhanced hearing.

"YOU DID WHAT?" His eyes went wide, mind stuttering with shock. All he could do was yell. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why on earth would you say that? Y/N must be so heartbroken right now! You know that she wants to marry you, and what do you do? Tell her you don't. You've really outdone yourself with the stupid this time, pal-"

"Steve! I know! I didn't mean it! I just didn't want to ruin the surprise. It's supposed to be this Friday!" Bucky tried defending himself, but he knew it was futile.

"Well, you can still do what you were planning... right?" Steve questioned, unsure if you would agree to the date.

"I hope so." Bucky nervously chewed his lip, trying to come up with a back up plan.

-

You were avoiding him. Everytime he tried to talk to you about going on a date on Friday, you somehow evaded the conversation entirely.

If you weren't on your way to training, you had plans with Nat or Wanda. If it wasn't plans with them, you absolutely had to finish a mission report. You always had an escape route, and it killed him that you felt like you needed to hide from him.

Bucky finally managed to corner you in the gym Thursday morning.

"Y/N!" He nearly screamed from the other side of the gym.

You took a deep breath, trying to ready yourself for the conversation.

"Hi Bucky." You greeted him with a small kiss.

It was time. You needed to talk to him. If he didn't want to get married, that had to be okay with you. You'd rather live your life with him as your boyfriend forever than not have him at all.

He seemed stunned by your greeting, having grown used to you trying to escape the second he entered a room.

"Hi..." He suddenly got quiet, not wanting to spook you.

"Um, what are you doing tomorrow?" He hasn't felt this awkward asking you on a date since the first time he asked you to get dinner with him.

"Nothing, I think." You were feeling just as awkward as Bucky.

"Perfect. I've got a surprise for you." He pulled you into a hug, feeling a sense of calm just from holding you.

"Oh, really?" You would have thought a proposal would be the surprise, but because of your last conversation you're left clueless.

"Yep." Bucky relaxed for the first time in days at the sight of your smile. "I'm taking you to dinner. You deserve it."

You couldn't stop the way your heart fluttered at seeing his cheeky smile. I can live my life like this. You thought to yourself.

"Ooh. Okay, well what should I wear?" You were already thinking over outfit options.

"Whatever you want. Something comfortable though." He was honestly nervous you would say no, so this is more progress than he expected.

"How mysterious. Okay, I've got to go. I'm supposed to meet Nat and Wanda. I love you." You kissed him quickly before leaving the gym.

-

"Ugh. I haven't been this nervous for a date with Bucky since... well since ever! I wasn't even this nervous the first time." You whined to Nat and Wanda. It felt like you had gone through every outfit in your closet and you still haven't found something to wear.

"Y/N, relax." Wanda picked out clothes for you, handing you one of your favorite cute and comfy outfits. "Wear this."

"The two of you love each other. That's all you need to think about right now." Nat reassured you as you changed for the fifteenth time.

"Exactly. Just go enjoy your date." Wanda encouraged you as well.

"What did I do to deserve the two of you." You pulled them into a group hug, laughing when they pushed you out the door.

You were still smiling when you ran into Bucky in the hallway.

"Oh. I was just coming to find you!" You kissed him quickly. "I wasn't sure what time you wanted to leave."

"That's what I was coming to find you for. I'm ready when you are, doll."

"Well, then. Let's go." You grinned when Bucky took your hand, leading you out of the compound and down to the lake.

He brought you right up to a picnic blanket that was already setup on the dock.

"I thought we could picnic tonight." He looked at you with a shy expression.

"Bucky, that's perfect. There's actually supposed to be a-"

"A meteor shower tonight." He finished for you. "That's actually why I planned a picnic."

The feelings of doubt and heartache that had been plaguing your mind for the last few days all but vanished in the blink of an eye.

"I love you so much." You leaned into his touch, sitting next to him while he pulled food from the picnic basket.

"I love you too." He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, handing you various foods.

The two of you fell back into natural conversation throughout the night. Any lingering nervousness left you, although Bucky kept fidgeting throughout the night.

It wasn't until after dessert that anything out of the ordinary happened.

"The meteor shower is supposed to start in a few minutes, do you want to go sit at the end of the dock?" Bucky stood, his hand out for you to grab.

You pulled yourself up, not letting go of Bucky's hand as you walked the short distance to the end of the pier. Just as you took the last step, you could see a few meteors shoot across the sky.

"It's beautiful." you gazed up at the stars, missing the deep breath Bucky took before sinking to one knee.

"Y/N, I think I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I didn't know it at the time, but I felt it. Every minute I've spent with you since then has been a gift."

The expression on your face could only be described as a mixture of shock, awe, love, and annoyance.

"When I was young, I used to think about who I would marry. I never thought of someone as incredible as you. After everything that happened, I didn't think I'd ever be worthy of someone's love. I still don't know how I convinced you to fall in love with me, but I'm grateful everyday that you did. There is nothing that would make me happier than spending the rest of my life as your husband."

He took a deep breath, looking right into your eyes as he asked the question.

"Will you marry me?"

"I- Yes. Of course I will marry you." You didn't even realize you were crying until Bucky wiped a tear from your cheek.

"I love you so much." He whispered as he slipped the ring on your finger.

"I love you too." You kissed him as soon as he stood up. Immediately stepping back to hit him.

"What was that for?" He looked affronted.

"'I don't believe in marriage.'" You mocked the deep timber of his voice.

Bucky laughed, pulling you closer to him. "I'm sorry." He pressed your foreheads together. "I really panicked when I thought you were going to ruin the surprise."

"You're such an idiot." You laughed. The two of you were all smiles as you held each other.

"Trust me, Steve let me know just how much of an idiot I am." Bucky shook his head. "He'll just be glad I've finally done it."

"Finally? How long have you had the ring?" You smiled as you glanced between your left hand and Bucky's face.

"A month. Not too long really. I think he was more annoyed with how long it took me to get the ring." He smiled, looking into your eyes.

"We've only been dating for 2 years. I wouldn't say that's abnormally long." Your brows furrowed.

"That is correct..."

"But?" You encouraged.

"But I told him I wanted to marry you the second we finished our first date."

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