#so i fell off around the end of matt smith's run as doctor

[bethrnoora]

i admit ive only ever seen nuwho (sorry) and i liked david tennant as the 10th doctor a whole lot but there were certain points where his characterization annoyed me

[lilslotsofchat]

the end of the eleventh

i wrote this after sobbing to matt smiths regeneration.

missy is just an own character and i guess it’s what the doctor called her. like the doctor chose the doctor he called her missy and it became her known name.

it’s bad and short but i needed to get it out it was in my head

“doctor is this it” missy asked the man she loved feet away from her. he smiled weakly his hands rubbed against one another. a tear dropped from her eye along her cold rosy cheek.

“i’m afraid so” he said his voice wavering. missy looked at him. she studied him. she did this every day in the TARDIS from the balcony as he did his own thing for a while. he looked older. the man aged before her eyes and she just let it happen.

“can you stay longer, as you. as the doctor i know” she asked tears now falling constantly her eyes were glazed over, like many of the planets and stars the couple had seen together. eleventh time was up. she knew this. she knew that her time with her lover was over.

“missy, you-“ the doctor started before his voice choked up. tears were falling from his own eyes. he looked up at the ceiling of the TARDIS. his eyes following the walls back down to his lover before him.

“i know i know but can’t i go back see you with you be with you, be with you before it’s over.” missy begged stepping forward slightly. her voice was weak. she hadn’t slept in weeks. the TARDIS helped made it feel like a night but in reality she hadn’t slept in weeks. the doctor watched her pull her patchwork cardigan around her frame, like she always did. it’s like the way he plays with his hands.

“missy you’ve lived every day you could with me. if you went back i would know it’s not you. your hairs changed you’ve changed. you’ve aged. i’d notice this. you right now have to let go let me move on become number twelve” the doctor said his hands waving around her stature. his eyes streaming. he loved her more than anything in the universe. her eyes were pleading for something.

“what if” the doctor opened his mouth to cut her off but she stopped before the words left his mouth. missy’s eyes watched the words he had not leave his mouth. she stepped closer to him.

“missy you love me yes” she nodded. she wiped her eyes but more tears took their place. “you need to love me to let me go. there’s so many millions of places you could go.”

“i don’t want to go anywhere if it isn’t with you doctor.” she shouted at him. her small height allowed for the feistiness to fester inside her. it came out rarely but when it did it, it was only when she was angry or trying to get her point across. the doctor looked at her his mouth closed

“missy this is my regeneration. i cannot stop this. you know this you’ve seen with my tenth self. you watched my regenerations through my eyes when i gave them to you. you know everything about my missy. you knew this was coming. i cant stop me changing into a different man. we all change. every day we live a new day sometimes a different person.” he was watching her she just listened tears falling fast. he stopped forward and put his hands to her cheeks. she let out a sob. “you can go on. visit twelve tell him all about me. there’s nothing you can do to keep me as me missy” he said he put his forehead to hers. his breath fanned along her face. cooling her cheeks that had grown hot in the boiling anger of loosing him. “missy you are the best thing that has ever happened to all of my selfs. you made me realise that i didn’t need to be a cold lonely mad man with a box. i would become a loved mad man with a box and his girl” she laughed. their tears dropped onto the floor. meeting. a small glow appeared around the tiny tear puddle on the floor. the glow grew. along the floor of the TARDIS. the golden glow wrapped around the pair. the doctor looked up. he saw the glow. missy knew what she had to do.

“i love you doctor” she said. she took three steps back and disappeared from the glow. she wasn’t in the TARIDS. the doctors face dropped. tears fell from his eyes faster than they ever had before.

“missy” he shouted. he stepped forward to where she just was and she wasn’t there. the glow followed him. “where is she. tell me where she is” he screamed at his TARDIS. the console screen lit up and he ran around his boots clattering on the floor. there was a picture of a graveyard. rory and amys graveyard. missy was stood by the graves. her patchwork cardigan wrapped tightly around her shoulders. “why are you there” he said his fingers dragging along her figure on the screen. his fingers now glowing. the screen fluttered to a different place. missy was stood in the tower of london with kate. talking to her. the doctor did not have any idea how missy was moving around the world. the TARDIS changed the image once again. craig was stood on his doorstep hugging missy. his hand was rubbing her back. she was sobbing into his shoulder. alfie now a toddler walked out of the house and missy turned to the small boy and handed him something the doctor couldn’t see. he cried the doctor sobbed. the image changed. missy was stood where they first met as missy and the doctor when he was the tenth. she looked up to the stars and kissed her fingers and put them to the sky. the doctor smiled. “oh my wonderful light” he said his hand was streaming his regeneration glow. missy was now stood on top of a mountain. she was sobbing. her body was deprived of air. she was struggling to breathe. the doctor noticed the red sand that she was sat on. she was at the day he died. “missy missy missy how i love you” and with his last words as the eleventh.

his twelfth face snapped into his clothes. he saw the woman on the console screen sobbing. the twelfth doctor yelled in pain as his new kidneys came into his body. “how to fly this thing” he asked the air. the TARDIS showed the twelfth what to do. the police box vanished from its place.

missy stood up from the mountain. she looked out in front of her and saw the doctor die. shot by river. she sobbed even more. she saw her younger self begun running forward. the astronauts suit containing river turned away. missy let the suit walk away. she fell to the floor next to the doctor. rory grabbed her shoulders and pulling her back. she remembered this day like it was yesterday. it could have been yesterday for all missy knew. missy was screaming and kicking. missys older self stepped away when she saw river looking over at her. she waved her hand at river and then vanished from the mountain top.

[youremyonlyhope]

The Timeless Children

Season 12 finale here we go.

“Take my hand.” And again the Doctor leaves her companions to go after the Master. At least this time she kinda chose to go with him. Graham... I don’t like the idea of you guys wearing Cybermen armor.... Master, what exactly is your plan here? Bringing the Cybermen? Graham.... awwww. That was so sweet. Will one of them die? If Graham or Yaz end up converted I will kill someone. “They are mine” nooo shut up Lone Cyberman. “You really think I’m gonna believe anything that comes out of your mouth.” Yes. I will believe him. I trust him to this extent. That was so weird to see a Cyberman move that naturally when Yaz turned to make sure he was gone... So smoothly instead of robotically. Indigenous race... we’re getting to human colonists.... right?... Adopted like Brandon... SHE FELL OFF A CLIFF TOO. WE’VE NEVER SEEN A CHILD REGENERATE BEFORE. THAT’S SO SAD. Oh god, if they end up shooting Yaz or Graham because they’re in Cyberman suits... The season started with him playing basketball... Ryan don’t you die. Hoarder? Of what?! Of people?????? Several regenerations... so was she killing the child over and over again!? Nearly there?? Nearly?????? There’s MORE?

Ok. So the Doctor is the Timeless Child... Ok... Ok. I need the episode to keep going so we can get to really get what this all means.

Also, if this is what the Master found out that caused him to destroy Gallifrey, then awww maybe he loves the Doctor and is mad about what they did to her.

Ok good, they didn’t get shot while dressed as Cybermen. “Oh. Okay.” OKAY. So that’s the Lone Cyberman out of the way. I like that the Lone Cyberman clinked when the Master picked him up. “and all this would be over. I would’ve been ok with that.” No Master. No. Don’t have a death wish PLEASE. It can’t be that bad. “I should have said ‘Someone should have cut you down to size’ and THEN zapped him.” Awww. Ok Master has the Cyberium. That’ll be fun. Back to commercial. But I need to know if my girl the Doctor is ok after that revelation! Tell me she’s ok!

I hate the stupid previews that BBC America plays. I thought the show as back. You’d think after years I’d stop falling for it, but we got through half the episode before the first preview.

“I cannot bear that.” Master, shut up. Ok, so it wasn’t because he loved the Doctor. I knew it wouldn’t be, but a girl can dream. He destroyed Gallifrey because of the insult of having part of the Doctor in him. OH SHE REALLY PUSHED HIM. I blinked and I missed it and then he was on the ground. Brandon?? It’s all erased... What the hell is the Division? OOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. CYBERMEN TIME LORDS. THIS IS WORSE THAN THE DALEK SILENCE. OH BUT I DO LOVE THE DESIGN. He blew a kiss. Kisses. Just like she sent O.

I mean. The Master back in the 1996 movie wanted to know the Doctor’s secrets, and found he was half-human. Maybe that was just a sort of fake-out that was planted to keep others from discovering that she’s the Timeless Child.

OH god I don’t want the fam to get killed on Gallifrey... Yaz no why did you have to go first? Stop being reckless. “This is Gallifrey.” She said the thing. RUTHHHHHHH. My girl. Something “He” said, but the “He” is not the Master? Jack? “Oh! I’m talking to myself again!” I love the Doctor. Awwww all those flashbacks. Oh so “he” was the Lone Cyberman. Ugh. I was hoping for my baby Jack. Is there a TARDIS they can steal to get everyone off the planet please?? Also, oh god the Gallifreyans will be super dead this time around. Which will suck. Oh god the Master wants them to do it... it’s a trap... A TARDIS TO STEAL! YAY! Doctor, stop having a death wish. You always have a death wish. Stop it. Neither you nor the Master are allowed to have death wishes. Yaz don’t you dare volunteer to do it instead... I can see it in your eyes. OOOH Ryan. “I am so much more than you.” Why does that give me deja vu? “You’ll become Death.” Doctor of Death. Wasn’t that a thing before? Oh, Ko Sharmus. Ok at least it’s not Yaz. So he sent the Cyberium! And look at all the people who thought it was Jack or Ruth or something. Overthinking it. Run, Doctor. Just like you tell everyone else to. TARDISes are organic too though... so are they all destroyed? And is the Master dead for good now? I hope not. I love the Master. She ran away from Gallifrey and never stopped. Again.

Ok wait. The title is Timeless Children. Plural. We’re still only talking about the singular Child. Oh god no more Doctor Who until Christmas.

Ha it’s a house! That’s so cute! The Chameleon Circuit’s working! Will they live in their TARDIS? I mean, you got a house right there. You can probably ask it to change the inside to look like a house too. Will the Doctor still just run away and not reunite with her Fam? Just leave them behind? “Good Chameleon Circuit” Wow two working TARDISes. AWWWW LOOK AT OUR TARDIS. I love her. “Don’t get jealous.” Sweet. AGAIN? THE JUDOON!?!?!?

Revolution of the Daleks???

Well that was a cliffhanger. Great.

I haven’t rewatched Matt Smith’s era in a while, is that supposed to be River’s prison?

Anyway. I think I’m satisfied. I wish the Master got out of that in the end, if only because I love the Master. He needed to be stopped of course. But still. Give me more Master. Especially Dhawan!Master.

It’s the Master. They’ll be back eventually. Hopefully still Dhawan.

Ruth Doctor. My girl. Glad to see her come back. Poor Doctor, she has so much to deal with now... It does bring up a bunch of questions. Like how she got more regenerations in the Time of the Doctor... I assume she’s able to just regenerate forever... so why would Gallifrey make a big show of giving her 12 more... I guess because they were like “Hey so, if we don’t come down there and look like we’re listening to Clara and helping the Doctor, he’s gonna find out about his past, so let’s just send a bit of regeneration energy at him to make this specific regeneration extra big and convince him he was given 12 more.... then we can just rinse and repeat again later.”

Also, the Doctor was a black girl first. If only it was still Black History Month. Oh well.

So Ruth’s version of the Doctor reached her 12 regenerations at some point, had her memory erased... and reverted back to a child... but why did they not do that to Eleven? Did they just want to see what the Doctor would do if they knew they were living longer than initially intended this time around? How many cycles have there been? I hope Ruth’s set of 12 was the first one but I doubt it...

At least the Valeyard, the Watcher, and the Curator make a lot more sense now. They can fall just about anywhere now and not mess with the 12 regenerations thing since that does not matter at all anymore for the Doctor.

And I can’t remember if we all freaked out about this back then, but I’ve been thinking about this recently, did we all freak out when we saw the Curator because of the number of regenerations? Because, by the time we watched the 50th Anniversary we were all freaking out and counting regenerations and wondering if the Meta-Crisis counted towards that number, and then wondering if Capaldi is the last Doctor or if it ends up that Smith is actually #13 then how does Capaldi happen? We were wondering all of that, so what did we make of the Curator? I honestly can’t remember. I feel like for the entire month after the 50th we were all just so blinded from the appearance of Tom Baker to wonder where the Curator falls in the 12 regenerations thing. And then by the time we started actually wondering where he fits in, Christmas happened and Eleven got more regenerations and we were like “Oh ok well then I guess the Curator’s at the end of those regenerations.”

But I LIKE the idea that the Curator is even further along than we thought, and that now that Gallifrey is truly gone (which sucks) and can’t enforce the rules of sets of 12 regenerations, the Doctor is just going to keep going on and on forever and ever and eventually starts just picking faces again.

Also, how old is the Doctor? We thought the 4 billion years in the confession dial was bad, but like, maybe it wasnt?

And what about that theory that all the Gallifreyans are the Doctor just at different points in their life, going back in time but living all the lives simultaneously... nah that’s too much.

Anyway. I was sure that this season would lead to us finding out that humans are the ancestors of Gallifreyans, still kinda hoping for that. I’m really clinging to this human thing. First I thought the Doctor was the Hybrid because he’s half human, now I thought we’d get the revelation that Time Lords evolved from humans.

Wait. There’s still one BIG question. If the Doctor isn’t from Gallifrey, then WHAT THE HELL IS SHE!??!?!

[dangerscully]

Whaaaaaattttttt which eps of Dr Who have you seen filming?

Haha, honestly it’s commonplace around where I live to just end up… finding them. At least until Chris Chibnall took over the show - he seems to be trying to keep filming away from public eyes much more than Moffat did (and I assume RTD too). Anyway, quite a few episodes, often by accident. Off the top of my head, scenes from: 

Eleven/Amy:Vincent and the Doctor (walked past the set)

Eleven/Clara:The Time of the Doctor (I think it was this one, it was whichever episode Matt Smith filmed last anyway) (heard it was filming up the road from me)

Twelve/Clara:Deep Breath (heard it was filming at the end of my street)Flatline (heard it was filming)Death In Heaven (two scenes maybe?) (walked to work and came across a cyberman army and michelle gomez marching towards me. if the other scene i’m thinking of was also from this episode then it was another case of just walking to work and them filming on the street)The Zygon Invasion/Inversion (multiple scenes) (drove past a zygon running around and pulled over for a bit, another time was walking to a friend’s flat and they were filming in the park i was walking through)

Twelve/Bill:The Pilot (think it was this episode?) (walked past pearl mackie and a set covered in fake snow)The Pyramid at the End of the World (I think, it was one of the episode with the monks) (filming at the end of my road)The Doctor Falls (drove past a cyberman army at night, bit alarming)

Thirteen/The Fam:The Woman Who Fell to Earth (two scenes) (heard one was being filmed in a warehouse - jodie was still wearing twelve’s clothes. the second scene i was walking past a charity shop and inside was jodie whittaker and the fam filming her new outfit scene)Resolution (cold open scene - was at the beach and they’d done it up with fake snow and christmas trees to be… i wanna say siberia?)

Definitely others too - most were Twelve/Clara episodes but I was so uninvested in that era that I can’t remember for certain which scenes were from which episodes. 

[isagrimorie]

The Doctor Who showrunner wars is still in full swing despite the three Doctor Who showrunners being friends IRL, and some things they’ve done and implemented can all boil down to preference.

I wanted to weigh in with my thoughts on this.

I like some things RTD did in his time in Doctor Who, I am very grateful to him for bringing the show back from the war but I also remember slowly getting disgruntled with his writing.

He is a drama writer, and one of the best; RTD has a way of turning a phrase that just fires up the imagination like:“Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child, the Could-Have-Been-King with his army of Meanwhiles and Neverweres.”

He has also written and help re-write my favorite two-parter of Revival!Who Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit, Midnight, Turn Left, and Children of Earth. The problem is as much as he loves both camp (sometimes the results can work, sometimes it doesn’t), RTD’s cynicism does leak through.

He tried to fight against those instincts in Doctor Who but you can see the strain show as he struggled to keep that cynicism away from the show.

There’s also the part where his frequent joke targets are middle aged women. And TBH, I was tired of Ten’s God Complex (“I am the final authority!”) and how the narrative rarely call him out on it. Unlike Nine, he started to believe his own press and the press of other people

I wasn’t keen on the way he joked about appearances of women above thirty, and tbh, I was tired of Ten’s God Complex (“I am the final authority.”) and how the narrative refused to call him out on it.

Ten believing his own press could have been interesting if the narrative didn’t think he was right. For example, The Water of Marscould have been interesting but I thought WoM resolved Ten’s Time Lord Victorious moment far too soon and easily.

I thought they could have explored more about the ‘Time Lord Victorious’ moment for at least another episode, or have The End of Time comment on it.

Apart from series 1, all of RTD’s series finales were heart-wrenching; each finale I ended up feeling like I was going twenty rounds against a meat grinder.

It was why I loved and will continue to love series 5 and how refreshingly happy the ending was.

No one was trapped in another dimension! No one had to single-handedly stop an apocalypse and have their family enslaved, or mind-wiped.

In the scheme of things, I think in certain aspects, Moffat’s storytelling style is more on line with my tastes. The fairytale seasons. Even Twelve becomes a fairytale Doctor, and I wager that his arc in series 8 is remembering the joy and becoming the fairytale Doctor again.

Another reason why I love series 5, coming directly from Ten’s Lonely God thing, was that a lot of people called out the Doctor on their God Complex and made their self-loathing a lot more text. I also loved the fairy tale aspect of his seasons.

But like with RTD not everything Moffat’s done is my favorite, there were some stories that had missteps, and one of those missteps was Moffat trying to out clever himself. Credit to him for swinging for the fences but he also started to spread himself too thin working on two shows, and the seams showed.

One of the criticisms about Moffat’s writing is character work, and he had no interest in the Companions’ families.

I’m in the middle. I have issues but also (especially after rewatching) I was more forgiving, as an example, in the end I didn’t care as much about the state of Amy’s parents.

No, that’s wrong, I did care.

I cared the first time I watched Angels Take Manhattan, I cared so much that when Amy and Rory disappeared I was so angry because all I could think about was Amy’s parents and Brian (Rory’s dad). I cared to the point that it was one of the reasons why I stopped watching.

On subsequent rewatches, I’ve reconciled with the idea that Companion families and family dynamics (the Companion’s parents) isn’t something Moffat was interested in. It took Chibnall to give Rory a dad (interesting that parent-child dynamic is really something Chibnall is drawn to).

Honestly, if family dynamics isn’t something he is interested in, that’s fair. Also, Amy’s parent’s weren’t a factor since series 6 and Amy’s parents might have well fallen back into the Crack for all we know.

Rewatching also helped me come to terms with some narrative choices I wasn’t fond of. Binge (re)watch tended to sand down any rough parts and I find rewatching can help me hold the shape of a story more.

Still, it took a while to realize Eleven acting big and bombastic was deliberate. Moffat needed Eleven to be big and loud, and full of himself so he can also go crashing down. It falls in line with what River describes the Doctor she knew: “Now my Doctor, I’ve seen whole armies turn and run away. And he’d just swagger off back to his Tardis and open the doors with a snap of his fingers.”

One of the things I wasn’t satisfied with Moffat’s writing (and there were plenty) was how series 6 dealt with child loss. Or, how s6 initially didn’t deal with child loss. The writing would eventually address it, and most prominently in The Wedding of River Song in a fantastically chilling scene between Amy and Kovarian.

But even then I felt it wasn’t enough. Emotional continuity during this time was very low.

This brings me to River. I loved her the moment she stepped on screen in Silence in the Library but my love for her character cooled because of series 6. My theory is Moffat wrote himself into a corner trying to out grand series 5.

For those taking notes at home, I watched Doctor Who sporadically during series 7 and then stopped watching at Angels Take Manhattan. I stopped watching until Day of the Doctor happened.

**DotD* reignited my love for Doctor Who! So much so that I went back and binged series 7.

I liked s7 well enough except for how Amy and Rory left, that still sticks in my craw. I would have been okay if the Ponds left at the end of the Power of Three. Unfortunately, for Revival!Who, there’s an expectation now that Leaving Stories should be hard and tragic, and breaks your heart. I don’t always need grand leaving stories.

TBH, with the exception of The Day of the Doctor, Series 7B is one of my least favorite Moffat seasons.

One of the many factors was the way the writers kept giving Matt Smith big speeches. The writers know he can do big speeches so they kept writing big speeches for him. It was their default.

Also, as one podcast speculated series 7B could have been where the writers realized (belatedly) that Smith was actually quite hunky. This and Moffat being too busy to manage the next half of the season because of The Day of the Doctor can explain the disaster that was the Time of the Doctor.

TotD remains as one of my least favorite Doctor Who episodes ever. (Well, not ever, there are some series 2 and 3 episodes that stand above it).

And then the Capaldi era.

This was the turn around where I started loving Moffat’s work again. It wasn’t easy to get to that point though, and like the previous series, there was a time I fell off the Doctor Who wagon because the first half of Capaldi’s season didn’t click with me.

I found him far too mean and unlikable which broke my heart since I loved Capaldi.

But a binge, again, sanded down all sins (well, notall) and now the difficult and prickly series 8 is something I really enjoy because knowing where Twelve ended up in his character journey helped.

This is why, I don’t mind getting spoiled about a show, as long I only get the broad strokes but not the details. I love finding out what his journey was and I don’t think I would have come back if I didn’t know where he ended up.

I think I saw snippets of Zygon Inversion speech on YouTube, and then I decided to give Husbands of River Song convinced me to finally watch all of Twelve’s run.

And now Twelve is my favorite Doctor.

Moffat’s writing didn’t magically become perfect (to me) but I loved the themes he chose to tackle for Twelve. Twelve is another PTSD!Doctor but unlike Nine, he had an opportunity to grow from that trauma. (And get fresh ones — thanks Time Lords!).

I love that Moffat used Twelve’s stories as a way to interrogate Ten’s stories culminating in Heaven Sent/Hell Bent.

IMO, Twelve’s relationship with Clara is similar to Rose and Donna. Twelve and Clara developed quite a co-dependent relationship by the time series 9 rolled around. They never quite achieved the height of smugness that was the first minutes of Impossible Planet nor have they ever been as obnoxious as Ten and Rose were in Tooth and Claw. Possibly because the Doctor’s older at this point and knows the perils, and similar to Donna because of how Donna kept Ten grounded. And, of course, because of the mindwipe argument that was definitely Moffat’s answer to the mindwiping of Donna, and as Moffat said in the War Games commentary, to the mindwipe of Zoe and Jamie.

And then we have Bill with Twelve, showing the very final form of the Twelfth Doctor. Twelve as a grown-up, feeling settled with himself, finally. He learned a lot of lessons and committed himself to stay in one place.

I love the relationship he built with Bill and while I do love, love, love Jodie Whittaker, I was sad to have only one season of Bill and Twelve. Especially since after Lie of the Land Missy’s story began to have more prominence over Bill’s.

(And there’s the whole Missy thing which tbh would make this a longer post than it already is!).

TLDR. Both showrunners aren’t perfect, sometimes their views don’t align with mine. I loved series 1 because it was my entry point into Doctor Who but there are also things about RTD’s run I wasn’t happy with. Same with Moffat there were things I adored and things that really didn’t sit well with me.

There were points during both showrunner’s time on the show I had to take time off.

Now with Chibnall, the same thread runs through: I like most of his stories in series 11 but it also isn’t perfect and has a lot of room for improvement.

/EDITED

[timelordvictoiouspartyof1]

Rules were made....Ch9

Summary: It’s been almost a year since you left Bucky for cheating on you. You missed him so much you convinced yourself you could just be friends with him. After having lunch with him in a local diner you made some rules and convinced him too that a friendship was possible.

Words: 4,100+

Warnings: none

Pairing: Mob!Bucky x Reader (who I call Maggie, Mags or Magdalene because I don’t like Y/N)

Ch1    Ch2    Ch3    Ch4    Ch5    Ch6    Ch7    Ch8

You were frantic when you walked in the door. Running around trying to erase any trace Bucky had been there. You quickly jumped in the shower, Bucky’s spunk wet on your thigh. You scrubbed till your skin was almost raw, and just as you had pulled a shirt on you heard the front door open. Your phone chimed as you were covering yourself with the blankets. He entered the room.

“You shouldn’t leave your front door unlock, babe. It’s not safe. Especially since you’re still in bed it means it was unlocked all night. Now come here, I missed you.”

Bucky lay there for several minutes after you walked out just staring at the ceiling. He was in shock. What had just happened? He finally got up to use the bathroom and found his pack of cigarettes on the counter. He had left them there when he changed to get in to pool. He realized then that the last one he smoke was in the parking garage at your building yesterday evening. He grabbed them and went back to bed. He found a pack of paper matches in his nightstand and lit up. He leaned back on the headboard and stared out the windows in silence. He never smoked in the house but now he didn’t care. He felt numb, like would never care again. He finally turned the TV, didn’t bother flipping the channels, he wasn’t really watching it anyway. He felt lost, like a child abandoned.

He rolled over and checked the nightstand on the other side of the bed he didn’t use for an ashtray. He found one. Hope really was over qualified for her job. He put the butt out in the glass tray setting it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. He lit another one. He wanted to cry. He also wanted to push all this down and ignore it. And not in the ‘I have other things to deal with first’ kind of way. In the ‘this is cause an ulcer later’ kind of way. He wasn’t even angry because at the end of it this was his fault. You wouldn’t even be with Oliver if he hadn’t driven you away. He lay staring aimlessly at the TV and around the room for almost an hour before he picked up his phone.

“I didn’t fight for you last time, I won’t make that mistake again. I need you to know how I feel. Learning to breathe by Switchfoot.” Send. He tossed the phone on his nightstand and rolled over on his side, hugging his pillow. He was watching some old movie he had never seen before when he fell asleep.

He woke with a start when he heard banging on the door. “Hey love birds, you coming out for some breakfast.” Steve joked through the door.

Bucky growled, angry from being woken. “Go away Steve.” He called back.

“Oh, come on. You guys can get more of each other later. Everyone’s still hanging out. Get out here.” He chuckled, thinking he was clever.

Bucky let the silence settle before speaking again. “She’s not here man, now leave me alone.” He barked.

It took Steve a minute to answer, not knowing if he even should. Finally, “What happened? What did you do?” Bucky heard him sigh through the door. “Do you want to talk?”

“She went back to him. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.” He forced out loud enough to be heard through the walls. He listened to see if he heard Steve walk away or god forbid ask more questions. When he heard footsteps he called out again. “And don’t even think about skipping tonight. Go and have a good time. That’s an order.”

He rolled back on the bed and checked his phone. 9:45 and no text messages. He longed to be asleep again. He grabbed the remote and clicked around the channels looking for something to distract himself.  He half paid attention to the movie while he scrolled along the list of songs in the iPod. He found another on. He paused the movie to listen to the words and make sure they were what he needed them to be.

“Edge of desire by John Mayer. I know I never deserved you.” Send.

He lit another cigarette and pressed play. He actually got lost in the movie and the next one and let a few hours passed. He only realized it was almost one because his stomach would not stop growling. He text Hope to bring food outside his door and grabbed his pack again. He had almost smoked half the pack in the last six hours. A few minutes later he opened the door to find a tray of foods on the stand next to the door.  He carried it in and put it on your empty side of the bed. He flopped down and started picking at the food as the movie played on. He grabbed his phone again.

“Crazy by K-Ci & Jojo.” Send.

It wasn’t until almost three he remembered Wanda’s dress was in the back of his car. He sent another text to Hope to get it sent over to your apartment, assuming everyone would be getting dressed at your house. He wasted the rest of the hours away not leaving his bed. Darkness fell over his room as the sun set. He was an absolute mess, with zero desire to climb out of it. You leaving a second time would be his ruin. He tried one last time.

“Fool to think by Dave Matthews Band. Just tell me you don’t love me.” Send.

Oliver slide his shoes off and climbed into the bed with you. He leaned in to kiss you and you hurried a quick press to his lips then pulled away making excuses about still being sick. It wasn’t entirely a lie, you did feel sick to your stomach, guilt. Your phone chimed again with the unread text message. You turned the screen and saw his name. You slid it open and quickly read the message, locking the screen back and setting it face down again.

He got up and took off most of his clothes and climbed back in the bed. He was worn out, you could tell. He had gotten to the airport at five to get back. He always came home from these trips tired. He told you about his trip, you didn’t say much. After a while tired overcame him and he fell asleep, so did you.

It was almost ten when you woke up. Your phone chimed a second time, pulling you all the way out of your sleep. You checked it, feeling guilty all over again, with Oliver in the bed next to you. Bucky again. You checked the message to get it off your screen, barely reading it. Your stirring must have woken Oliver because he rolled over and pulled your body into his.

He whispered into your ear sleepily, “I’m hungry.”

You laughed, “I’ll order in. We need to get up anyway, the girls will be over soon.”

His voice was more clear, “The girls? Do they have to come over I was hoping it would be just you and me today. I want to take you out, just you and me.”

“Babe, I can’t. It’s Nat’s day.”

“Her birthday? I thought that was a few months ago.” He questioned.

It hurt you a little that he didn’t know what you were talking about. Bucky knew. “It’s not her birthday. She can’t be alone today. It’s her parents.”

His tone softened. He pressed a kiss to your temple. “How could I forget? I’m sorry. Of course they’re coming over. What time?”

“Wanda slept at her place last night so she’s got first shift. They should be here around noon I guess.”

“Ok. Get me fed and I’ll make myself scarce.”

You ordered food while he got dressed.  Lunch was on the sofa and the conversation was light. You told him the plans for that evening but didn’t tell him who exactly would be there, because honestly you didn’t know at this point. He said he would be back around eight to take everyone to dinner.

He left around eleven and you turned on Netflix to pass the time. The girls showed up around noon like you expected. You hadn’t moved from the sofa, wrapped in a blanket. They didn’t knock, just walked right in.

“Don’t you look comfy.” Nat stated when she saw you.

“Give her a break, I’m sure she’s exhausted after last night.” She giggles. “How did you even get away? We assumed Bucky would have chained you to the bed before he let you go.”

You pulled the blanket over your face not wanting to face the truth, but knowing they wouldn’t let it go. “Oliver is back. He called this morning and I just kind of ran out.”

There was a long paused and Nat and Wanda exchanged looks. A few seconds later the both flopped on the sofa one on each side. Wanda pulled the blanket down and smiled. “At least tell us you didn’t has sex with him this morning, we wouldn’t want people to start thinking you’re a floozy.” A laugh fell out without your permission.

“I didn’t! I swear.” You objected.

Nat grabbed the remote. “I’m starving. And since I get whatever I want today, I want sushi and pizza.” She looked at the food containers on your counter left over from breakfast. “Don’t tell me you already ate.”

“I barely picked at it, and like I would ever turn down food.” You grabbed your phone and ordered. “Here in a minute these delivery guys are going to think I have people locked up in here with the amount of food I order. But we can’t go crazy, Oliver is taking out to dinner before the club.” They both laughed and pulled the blanket over themselves too.

Nat put on Doctor Who. “Since I get total control we’re starting on season five. You know Matt Smith is my favorite Doctor.”

“We know!” you both responded in unison.

“I never understood that. He’s kind of ridiculous and nothing like you. Care to explain you fascination.” Wanda pried jokingly. “Maybe it’s very telling and we just haven’t been paying attention.”

“Shut up. If Maggie doesn’t have to talk about her love life, neither do I.” Nat used a defense and you groaned. After that the conversation was minimal, everyone just lounging about watching the show. When the food arrived the blanket and tossed and the three of you took turns passing the plastic containers. You had a mouth full of noodles when the bell rang again for the pizza.

You opened the door with the to go container still in one hand. The pizza guy was confused and asked if he had the right place. You smiled sweetly and assured him all the food would get eaten. You walked back to the sofa and climbed in the middle opening the box.

With the left over food still scattered on the coffee table, the three of you laying tangled in each other watching episode after episode. The bell rang just after three startling everyone. Wanda shot you a glance. “Did you really order more food? I’m stuffed.”

“It wasn’t me, I didn’t order more food.” You got up and looked out the door hole. “There’s no one there.” You opened the door to find a box on the doorstep. Wanda’s dress. Guilt flooded you again. You picked it up and carried it back. “It’s for you Wanda. He got you a dress too, I forgot to grab it on my way out.”

You handed her the box. When you sat down Nat threw her arms around you pulling you into a side hug. Wanda looked confused. “He didn’t do it just for you.” Natasha assured her. “He got me something too. He’s just being Bucky. Now the question is, if Oliver is coming, I’m assuming Bucky isn’t, so where does that leave Steve and the other guys?”

You let out a sigh. “He can be so sweet when he wants to be. He said if anything doesn’t fit we can go exchange it and charge it to his account. I don’t know, text Steve, see what he says.”

You both looked at Nat. “Oh, don’t act like you don’t still have his number.” Wanda pressed. “Text him. It’s no big deal. Here, give me your phone.” She tried to grab it off the table but Natasha beat her to it.

“Fine. I will. Back off.” She said with a smile. She stared at her phone for a while, then finally started texting. She found out the Steve and everyone were still coming with an exception of Bucky. And tried to assure her that they would behave and everyone would still have a good time. A few hours later the three of you finally removed yourselves from the couch and started getting dressed. Oliver showed up right on time at eight. He did look very handsome all dressed to the nines.

He took the four of you to a nice restaurant. Everyone had a good time. The truth was the girls loved Oliver. The conversation was always easy and smart. He told them about his trip and his upcoming clinical he would be getting involved in. you walked out the restaurant just after ten to fresh cool air. While you waited for the valet to bring the car around he wrapped his arms around you from behind.

“You look amazing.” He said in a lowered voice. “It’s been a struggle for me to keep my hands off of you. I can’t wait you get you on the dance floor so I have an excuse.” You didn’t say anything. “I think the girls had a nice time. I think it’s safe to say they adore me. I know how important it is to you to have their approval.” The car pulled up and you broke away casually.

You cranked the radio as the car pulled off so there was no talking on the ride to The Mansion. When you pulled up the valet opened your door and everyone approached the door. The bouncer was out front checking i.d.’s. When you walked up he was turning someone away. You faked a distressed look back at the girls. You were digging for your license when Natasha pushed ahead on you and handed hers over. The bouncer looked at it and called over. “Tom.” The guy at the desk in the entrance walked over. “This is Ms. Romanoff and her party.”

The other gentleman walked over with a smile. “Right this way.” He ushered the four of you in. the place was beautiful. It was very large in the shape an oval. He walked you into the middle. The entire middle was an oval shaped atrium with alcoves around the edge. He walked over to one of them. It had couches and chairs and a few tables set in it. “This is your lounge. We are full service. These two ladies are her the get you anything. And we have been instructed to get you anything you might want. The Mansion is set up in an oval. Each room is set up for a different experience. Some have different music styles, karaoke, one has a movie, things of the sort. If you need directions the ladies are happy to escort you. The rest of your party has not shown up yet but they will be escorted over when they do arrive. If there is nothing else I will be off.” He paused for a minute and when no one spoke he turned on his heels and walked away.

You immediately turned and mouthed to Nat, “I didn’t do this,” before Oliver stopped being distracted by the décor and turned towards you. Wanda took no time stepping over and plopping down in one of the chairs. She was talking to one of the waitresses ordering drinks. You were reading the cocktail menu when Steve walked up with Sam and that guy Scott. Natasha’s face lit up when she saw him. You stood up quickly, nervously, looking around to see if Bucky was there. Steve leaned in to give you a hug hello, “He isn’t coming.” He pulled away from the hug.

You turned to invite Oliver into the circle of people. “This is Oliver everyone. Oliver, this is Steve and Sam and Scott.” You pointed as you spoke. You didn’t know if Oliver knew who they really were. You had had a few conversation with Oliver at the beginning of the relationship but they were limited and you didn’t know how much he retained. Thankfully nothing got weird and everyone sat back down as one of the girls brought a round of drinks over. When the second round arrived Nat decided she wanted to dance so the three of you stepped out into the middle and danced with each other. Natasha was making eyes at Steve the whole time and it didn’t take a whole song before he got up and joined. Sam made it over to one of the bars on the back wall and was talking to a man in a suit. He looked very official, you assumed it was business. After a couple songs and Wanda got tired and sat back down. Oliver wasn’t much of a dancer so you didn’t expect him to join you. The time passed quickly and everyone was having a great time. At some point Oliver walked off to use the restroom and you and Wanda leaned in to talk.

“This has to be Bucky.” Wanda squeaked. “Unless you think it was Oliver.”

“I wasn’t Oliver,” you replied. “He would have taken credit for this. And he’s generous but he doesn’t have this kind of money. I mean for all the everything this includes. The question is, when did he do this? I feel like crap, he did all this for us, for me, and then I just walk out on him. I feel so bad.”

“You don’t have to feel guilty, he did it this afternoon.” Scott’s voice behind you somewhat startled you. You turned and looked behind you at Scott leaning deep into one of the sofas. Oliver returned and you spun back to face Wanda. You looked over and saw Nat and Steve still on the dance floor. Her back on his chest, his hands roaming all over her body. She had her hand reached up around the back of his neck and it looked like he leaned in and kissed her neck.

“Ok, they are either seriously drunk or this things is finally happening.” You said unable to stop the smile on your face. Oliver leaned over and handed you another drink.

“They look nice. I didn’t know Nat was looking for someone.” He stated blankly.

Wanda giggled, “Oh this has been a couple years in the making. She hasn’t been looking because of this.” Her smile dropped when she realized what she had said. She quickly changed the subject, “I wanna hear you sing. Let’s find the karaoke.” With that one of the waitresses showed up out of nowhere and offered to show you the way.

You caught Nat’s eye and motioned her to follow and Steve went to retrieve Sam as everyone walked into one of the outside rooms. The waitress cleared some people out of the way and set enough places for everyone to sit. The second girl came in and set down a fresh round of drinks. You and Wanda exchanged looks feeling very swanky. Nat wedged herself between the two of you with more teeth showing in her smile than you had ever seen.

You leaned in close. “So is this finally going to happen?” Wanda giggled and nudged her.

“Stop.” Nat looked almost guilty. “I don’t know. Yeeeeeeeees.” The three of you squealed.

You stood up to go put a song in at the booth. You were drunker than you thought you were, having to concentrate on not falling. When you got back Oliver pulled you into his lap and kissed your neck. He must be somewhat drunk too. He rarely showed public displays of affection. Steve’s body tensed at this. He tried to turn his attention away and start a conversation with Sam and Scott, but he kept looking at you out the corner of his eye. Oliver brushed your hair off your shoulder and Steve flinched. You tried to slide off his lap but he kept you in place.

“Stay here, babe. I missed you. Everyone else is trying to steal your attention away from me tonight.” It was true. Steve had spent most of his time on the dance floor with Natasha, but when he wasn’t he monopolized the conversation even when Oliver was trying to join in. Sam and Wanda had also been overly chatty politely ignoring Oliver.

“I’m here.” You put your both hands on his face and placed a small kiss on his lips. When you pulled away you gave a saddened look in Steve’s direction.

You hear the announcer call your name to go sing and it was the perfect excuse to exit Oliver’s lap. You brought your drink with you, not that you needed anymore alcohol. You were already drunk enough to feel overly emotional and an intense urge for honesty. The music started, One and only by Adele. You stood behind the mic feeling small.  Until you belted out the first line, then you started to relax.

“You’ve been on my mind I grow fonder every day. Lose myself in time just thinking of you face.” Everyone stopped talking and turned to listen. The emotions started to rise, you swayed back and forth slowly. Holding one hand on the stand. Your voice stayed level. “You’ll never know if you never to forget your past and simply be mine. I dare you to let me be your, your one and only.” When you hit those notes several people in the room started clapping.

Your knees started shaking, you closed your eyes. You knew the song by heart, it’s all you’d been singing for the past week. “Come on and give me the chance, to prove that I am the one who can, walk that mile until the end starts.” You forced the last lines out as a single tear fell on your cheek and rolled down. The room erupted in applause. You smiled and let out a soft laugh. You jokingly curtsied twice before walking off the stage and right to the bathroom.

Steve laughed and told everyone how wonderful that was. And Wanda and Nat defended by saying they always knew what a great singer you were. Steve casually grabbed his phone and text Bucky.

“She just sang One and only by Adele and I can promise it wasn’t sung for Oliver” Send.

You were quick in the bathroom so no one noticed you didn’t come right back to the table. The time passed smoothly again. You and Wanda sang Don’t stop believing, and Sam did his rendition of Baby got back. Scott even tried to sing some Sublime after some convincing. Around two everyone decided to call it a night. Natasha and Wanda ubered back to Wanda’s house but not before she shared a long goodnight kiss with Steve. The guys got in Steve’s car and drove off music blaring.

Oliver put his arm around you and guided you to the car. He drove back to your place, holding your hand the whole way there.

“Well I think that was a success.” He squeezed your hand.

“Yeah, she really enjoyed herself.” He responded, resting your head on your hand and staring out the window. You were tired and drunk. You needed sleep.

“Let’s get you home. But you owe me tomorrow. I’m keeping you all to myself for twenty four hours.” You agreed with a hhmmm.

Bucky was started awake by his phone ringing. He didn’t catch it in time, it stopped ringing. He dropped his head back on the pillow. The sound burst through the silence again. He picked his phone. Your name on the caller ID. He shook himself awake and tried to clear his voice before he answered so he didn’t sound groggy.

“Hey doll.”

“Ja-James Barnes?” It was a man’s voice on the other end.

“Who is this?” Bucky demanded.

The voice was more frantic than before. “It’s Oliver.” He said loudly. “They took her. Someon-Someone took Maggie!”

Next Chapter

@chipilerendi @pastelxvirgo @fuckthatfeeling @dillpicklesunflowerseed @twintwin125 @thatsokayleigh @vogueworthy-barnes @msesther19 @imyessieakiyama  @dazedbarnes @oh-sandyyy​ @jimesu @jsmith509​ @sebastianstanistheloveofmylife @vaperongal4life @thatbitchcatherine @haleynepema @whyy-is-everything-so-heavy @risinghero 

[sithlordintraining]

She’s No Angel (Part 27)

A/N: No one asked, but me and my crazy mouth are doing fine. I just started eating solid foods and I’m pretty sure I weigh 30 pounds soaking wet now. Anyways, we are almost done with this crazy series. 

tagged:  @hoe-for-kylo @rebeccamaximoff @this-one-you-see

She’s No Angel Masterlist

News that Kylo Ren had been hit spread like wildfire. Hux thought it was too premature to celebrate and of course he was right, as he was just informed that the Knights of Ren had rescued their master. Lucky sped down the hall eyes moving frantically behind the helmet as he searched for you. He knew that you were there when Kylo’s ship had been blown up, but of course he was stationed with the General on the other side of the base. He needed to find you to tell you that the Knights had rescued him and they were returning to the base right this moment. He grunted from the obstructed view that the helmet provided. He ripped the helmet off and continued his search down the hallway. Turning down various corridors, he picked up a scent that had become apart of his life. He did his best to follow your scent; he ignored the crazy looks from the officers and they ceased as the crowds became sparse the more he walked. The scent got stronger and he picked up his pace, breaking into a jog. “ANGEL!” He yelled as he turned down the hallway but to his surprise he saw Serena. She turned with large orange eyes staring at the stormtrooper who was confused as to why you had Angel’s scent. For sure Serena knew she was caught, but when he quickly walked away, she knew she was in the clear. For now.

There were only two places left for you to go and since he was on the lower level, he might as well check your hideout first. He saw Kylo’s stalker droid outside of the room and knew you were inside. Punching in the code, he quickly entered and pushed the droid with his boot so he wouldn't get it. “Angel,” He sighed, turning to take in your tear-stricken face. Her hair had been pulled from the regulated ponytail; boots, gloves, and greatcoat discarded on the floor, as her bloodshot eyes stared widely at her best friend. “Angel?” His brows furrowed as he watched her knees press further into her chest as she gripped her datapad tightly. “I killed him.” She whispered. “No,” he said softly. She just shook her head as more tears fell down her cheeks. “Angel he was rescued by his knights. He’s going to be fine.” Lucky reassured you, but you didn’t listen as your eyes fell to your datapad. “Okay Angel stop looking at-“ He snatched the datapad from your hand and looked at it. “Somber Skies? Really Angel? And chapter 12?!” Lucky sighed. “I killed him! What if he ret-“ You broke down, putting your head between your knees. Lucky's comm went off. “The ship just landed, he’s going to be transported to the north medbay, come on we can make it.” He squeezed her calf.

It took sometime before Lucky, Angel, and BB-9 made it to the north medbay. Lucky took you the long way, avoiding heavy populated areas. Your sobs were quieter, but every once and awhile you would break down a little. Lucky, couldn’t let others see you like this; not just because you were a Lieutenant General, but because you were his friend. Noise could be heard as soon as the elevator doors opened. The pair and the droid walked their way to the main medical center where doctors and nurses were rushing back and forth. “HALT! THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA! HALT! THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA!” A large droid crossed in front of them. The little BB rolled up in front of it to tell it off. “Dr. Zar!” Lucky called out. The older man turned to see Lucky quickly approaching. “Dr. Zar, is he here?” Lucky asked as you stood in a daze with the two droids still arguing. “Yes, but,” He gulped. “He is in critical condition.” Lucky looked back at you with sad eyes. “But h-he’ll make it through right?” Lucky pushed. “We will do our best, but he was floating in space for quite some time. We are pretty sure the only way he survived was through the force. He’s drained.” The doctor shook his head and then looked sadly at you. Dr. Zar sighed before speaking. “I’ll tell Ava to contact you if something changes, but for now I must go.” The call of his name had him rushing into the room. Lucky rushed back and bent to the droids level. “You stay here and keep an eye out for Kylo Ren. If anything changes, find us.” Lucky synced his comm with the droid so he could know where he was at all time. Lucky scooped you up and carried you back to the hideout.

The soothing sound of a heartbeat caused your eyes to flutter open. The room was dark and took you a few moments for your eyes to adjust. Looking around, you noticed that you weren’t in your actual quarters. You noticed how your fingers were tightly gripping the black fabric that moved with every breath. Looking up, you could make out the freckles that were dusted across Lucky’s cheek. His left hand gently held your body close to him and the fingers of his right hand lazily in your hair for combing, as his slightly parted lips laid gently on your forehead. Cautiously, you remove yourself from his hold; with a deep breath, you prop your head on the wall to look at him. A finger connected the dots on his cheek, careful not to stir him. You thought back to your meeting with Snoke and his underlying mocking tone. ‘Fairytale’ you scoffed in your mind. There was nothing fairytale about your life. If it was, you and Lucky would be somewhere nice; he would have a family and you would have your mom, Hux would still be running something of course, and Phasma would be there, too! A smile graced your lips as you continued running your fingers across his cheek. It didn’t even cross your mind once that Kylo was nowhere included in this. A grumble from your stomach had you leaving your comfortable spot and venturing into the hall.

It must’ve been extremely late because there was no one in the hallway. You walked towards the nearest mess hall. You felt like a zombie and didn’t care how you looked. Sluggishly, you rolled your eyes as you yawned. With your ears popping, you missed the sounds of the beeping growing louder behind you. “Oomph!” You fell forward stumbling. Looking to see what hit you, you saw your droid speeding by you. You broke out into a light jog calling for the droid to stop, but it ignored as it continued to beep. “I have to tell mother!” It repeated. “I’m right here!” You yelled out but it kept moving. It made a sharp turn to the left and excitedly started beeping. You were just about to turn the corner when you heard a female voice. “Woah, hey Bubby! Wha-” Serena started, but the beeping continued. “Kylo was in critical-” The beeps cut her off once more. “He’s okay, well that’s good, Bubby!” Serena rubbed the droid. You twitched as the droid called her mother. It had to be coincidence, right? You stayed back and watched as the droid dragged the technician away from her section. You waited a few seconds before following them; low and behold you ended up at the medbay and heart rate began to increase. Kylo was here and he was alive. All you could think about was getting to him as you made your way to his private room. You had finally made it after peeking into every window of each room. As you made it to him, you saw BB-9 and Serena by Kylo’s bedside. The tears slowly slid down your face as you watched Serena reach out and grab his hand. This was strike two.

It had been a week and you hadn’t set foot in that room. And yet, you followed Serena every night and watched her with Kylo’s unconscious self. The BB droid refused to leave his side and you weren’t complaining. The feelings were mutual, you didn’t like it either. You would stare through the window as the tears rolled down when you watched them. But after a while, they ceased. You’d become numb to the sight in front of you, numb to the whole situation. You weren’t even upset at the fact you almost killed him, he didn’t listen in the first place. Then you stopped showing. You didn’t even ask to be notified when he was awake, you were so over it. While he was unconscious, you fell into a pattern of being by yourself and you genuinely missed it. Not to mention, all the time Lucky was spending with you. It felt like old times as you laughed at the old holo-movie you two were now watching squished up on the single bed in your hideout. Lucky’s eyes were locked at the projection in front of him when he heard you speak. “I miss this.” It was so soft, he could’ve missed it. “I miss this too, Angel.” He smiled brightly, only for it to fade at the sight of you. “No, I mean before everything; when everything was simple and routined. Before the promotion and Snoke and Kylo, before Matt.” You finally turned to look at him. Lucky sighed because he understands.

“You know I have a bounty on my head? I didn’t know that becoming a Lieutenant would mean an automatic assassin on your tail.” She told him. He just nodded, because he knew. “I miss exploring planets and keeping everyone happy, I miss going to the mess hall, I miss having friends. I miss Seventies and Bear and Zero and Smith,” Tears began to gloss over (y/e/c) eyes as you thought of your deceased friends. “I miss you! I miss being with you, hanging with you, just doing anything and everything and not have to worry about Kylo or Ava, don’t you miss that?!” You snapped as the tears fell. Lucky’s eyes cast down letting his lashes brush against his cheek as he found the strength to speak. “Ava is cheating on me.” You gasped, you couldn’t believe what he had said. Ava had been obsessed with the dashing trooper YEARS before Angel came onto the scene and she finally got him, and this is how she treated him? “Lucky, I-I’m sorry, ar-are you sure?” You placed a hand gently on his back. “She thinks I’m cheating on you, so she told me ‘she could do the same’.” He looked up at you. “L-Lucky, I-I’m sorry. Y-you should go.” As much as you hated her, you loved him more. And if he really did like Ava, you would help his relationship survive because that’s what friends are for. Also, you did now how it feels; it wasn’t certain that Kylo and Serena were having an affair, but there were signs. But you decided not to bring that up, this was Lucky’s time to vent. He always listened to you and now it was your time to listen. “No,” His hand gripped you as he held a steady gaze. “I’m not going anywhere. You need me and this is my job; not just as your head guard but as your best friend. She knows this and if she wants to be petty, then let her. I love you, Angel. I’m never going to leave you.” A sob wracked through your body as you engulfed him in a hug. “I-I’m sorry Lucky, I’m sorry. You deserve more than this. I wish I c-could take you away and give you a real life and a family an-and” You cried as he began to wipe your tears. “Hey, hey, I love my life and I have a family I wouldn’t trade for the universe.” He pressed a kiss near the corner of your lips and you could feel a tingling sensation throughout your whole body. More tears rolled down your cheeks as you silently cried.

It took all his strength just to open his eyes, to a blurred version of you. The light surrounded your head like a halo as his vision started to clear. His lips parted in awe at the sight in front of him. “Angel,” His voice was huskier after being in an induced coma. “Kylo,” Your hand laid gently on his and the beeps from the machine started to increase. You went to remove your hand but he held a light grip. “Stay,” You just shook your head. Your heart felt as if it was going to explode. Seeing him like this was weird, he was so helpless; and no matter how you were feeling about everything going on, you knew your heart was hurting for almost killing him. “I’m sorry Kylo.” You said lowly. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him as you played with your fingers. Kylo said nothing as he just watched you. There was something off, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. As Kylo’s health began to restore itself, you became a frequent visitor. You would spend most of your meals with him, talk to him, and just keep him company since he wasn’t ready to be released. Everyone was so shocked that the Commander was so compliant with these rules. But you also noticed there was something different about him. Sometimes, when you would come visit he would look like he was caught. Dr. Zar had told you that late night, Kylo would begin having conversations, but fully aware of the situations. This made you nervous because Kylo already had a hard time sleeping. It was during one of your lunch visits to Kylo when one of his Knights entered the room. “Snoke is aboard the ship and he requests his apprentice.” You turned to see Kylo who for the first time looked scared to see Snoke.

In silence, you held Kylo’s hand as the Knight showed you to the impromptu room. You’ve never been to this part of the base, but you tried to keep your eyes from wandering because Kylo appeared so bothered. And not his irritably bothered position but nervous. Large blast doors opened to reveal the Supreme Leader and his guards; before you can even bow, he shouted: “Leave us!” The Knight nodded and turned. You were about to do the same until you were being held in your place. Your eyes trailed from the large pale hand that was wrapped around yours up to the face it belonged to. Soft brown eyes broken by his scar pleaded with you. “Let her go, she’s needed on a mission.” Snoke scolded his apprentice. Kylo flinched his hand back, you gave him a sad look before following his Knight. Walking to the hangar, you couldn’t get the strange feeling out of your chest, something was wrong with Kylo. You walked up the ramp of the command shuttle, you were to support the Knights of Ren on a mission since Kylo was recovering. Thankfully, they listened to you and not just because you were their Master’s girlfriend, but the respect they had for you.

Your chin rested on your fist as you stared aimlessly in front of you. “He’s going to be okay, he’s just a little shaken up.” Vibar, one of his Knights, sat in front of you. You just nodded and relaxed a little. “It’s not your fault, you were thinking about the Order, doing your job.” He told you. Right, they were all force sensitive here. “Snoke just wants to see him because he believes that Kylo is closer to the force because of his revival.” He reassured him. (Y/e/c) eyes widened under the dim light of the cabin. “How? How’d you revive him?” You asked. “We didn’t,” Vibar said and your heart stopped. “We all felt his signature disappear, we just went to retrieve the body out of respect. But when we did we felt something, a new one, but bright.” You leaned forward. “Like someone else’s? Somebody else saved him? Did you see anyone?” Vibar shook his head. “Yes, but through the force. I’ve never seen or heard or read about this, but I believe that is what happened. It is possible from a force bond.” You didn’t know much about the force, though it did intrigue you, you just never ventured to learn about it. You wanted to ask Kylo, but he just seemed too dismissive of the subject. “What’s a force bond?” You asked. “It’s a powerful connection that existed between two force users; they can communicate and share visions. It’s rare but it happens.” Vibar told you. “It could’ve been Luke Skywalker or-or his mother?” You asked. “Possibly, yes. I believe that’s why Snoke requested him; his force is stronger than ever but he can’t sway to the light.”

After dealing with Snoke, Kylo was released and found himself wandering to your quarters. He was surprised at how well the meeting went. Snoke was genuinely concerned about his apprentice. He stepped past the blast doors and the scent of you hit him. An ache in his chest formed remembering how sad you looked to leave him. BB-9 rolled around him welcoming him back. A small smile was placed on his full lips. He was tired. Kylo took a shower and slid under your soft covers. Dark hair spilled over the pillow as he felt the cold air flow against the droplets of his bare chest. With parted lips, he stared up at the ceiling holding his breath. “Stop that!” The accented voice clipped. His stare remained on the ceiling. “It took you long enough.” He said. “What do you want Ben?” Rey moved to his peripheral. “Something’s off.” He shook his head. “It’s the bond.” “No, it’s...her signature, it’s not right,” Kylo said. “The girl that visited you?” Rey inquired. He nodded, now turning his head to look at her. “Ever since I’ve awakened, Y/N’s signature has been different, from when she visited me before.” Rey extended her hand. “Show me,” Was all she said before his fingertips touched hers. Memories of the past cycles with you flowed between. Rey shut her eyes, furrowing her brows when everything stopped. “It wasn’t her.” She said. Kylo looked at her with confusion. “The woman that was with you at Snoke, wasn’t the same one who visited you every night.”

P.S.: One- Scandal is straight wild and it’ I didn’t want to put a death warning s only been SIX FUCKING MINUTES! Two- any ideas for part 28?Also, I know it seems like I’m just throwing in a random character, but in the long run it will make sense. I promise. Hit me up with comments, concerns, jokes, reminding me that Kylo Ren passed out when he got a blowjob, anything. I miss talking to you guys. I JUST WANT TO STATE: Right now, from this point on, no matter what happens in the sequel trilogy, this series will end the way I want it to end. Events that I want to happen. People I choose to die. So if it is somewhat similar to the movie: I did it first. AND SUPER THANKFUL FOR ALL THE SNA FANS THOSE FROM THE BEGINNING AND THOSE TUNING IN NOW!!! I just want to say thank you for everything <3 (if anyone is still here)

[bardqueenofgallifrey]

I didn't have a tumblr account in 2013, so I have no idea how the fuck a 53-year-old Sci fi show became part of something as cringe as "superwholock". I mean, I watch Sherlock but damn this match makes no sense. Could you explain to me how it happened please???

Honestly? I don’t know exactly.

I was never really a part of SuperWhoLock, and I don’t think I was on here for the origins either, but whenever it was that I did get on here, I was just a passionate Whovian who also watched and liked Sherlock (these days I’m pretty indifferent about Sherlock one way or another, and give as few shits about Supernatural as I ever did).  

BUT, I’m gonna see if I can try and work out/theorise how SuperWhoLock rose and fell, if only to try and make the point that Doctor Who never deserved to be lumped in with it. Feel free to challenge any points I make, because I’m guessing here. 

although, frankly, this idea of cringe culture is kinda snobby and gross. let people like shit, damn, if they’re not hurting anyone or trying to say Supernatural is the best show ever, who gives a fuck, honestly

Firstly, the thing about Doctor Who is that it has been around for literal multiple decades. Almost fifty four years. It has been around since before some of our parents were born. 

Doctor Who fans were around long before the internet was invented. They were here before, and will be here long after everyone has forgotten what the hell Supernatural ever was. Doctor Who fans are now the ones making Doctor Who. They were the ones who, when it got cancelled, created an entire thriving Audio Drama business through the love of it that still existed everywhere, and they are the ones who brought it back and now create it. They’ve never let it die. 

You know why? Why Doctor Who’s endured, and is so passionately loved by so many, and before all this mess wasn’t any more cringy than being into Star Trek? Because it’s good. 

It is a flawed show, of course (always, somehow, in some way, in ways that vary across different eras), but one that is good in a reckless, nonsensical, optimistic way. No matter the ups and downs of its objective quality, it’s never really lost its heart. 

It is a show with a protagonist that uses words/intelligence/compassion over violence to fight, a show that focuses on telling hopeful adventures that can be watched by children and also inform them of some of the harsher aspects of the world in an interesting way.

Also, it’s always been quite progressive. It had the first female drama producer at the BBC, and a gay Indian director. No one wanted it to succeed and it’s a miracle the show ever got off the ground. 

People like to talk about the “screaming Classic companions” but you know what? Fuck that. The Classic ladies were all wonderful, including the biggest screamers. Susan? The Doctor’s granddaughter, genius, with telepathic abilities and a whole lot of heart. Mel? Computer programmer aka fucking smarty pants, who once flipped the Doctor over her shoulder, and was such a genuinely nice person that it was genuinely impressive. Zoe? Adorable 60′s companion who canonically had a higher IQ than the Doctor. 

Doctor Who ladies have been awesome since the beginning, and calling out misogyny from the beginning. 

(It ALSO had errors of its time, especially an Orientalism issue that is pervasive through a lot of older sci-fi, that can’t and shouldn’t be forgotten either. But that’s for the most part irrelevant to this discussion other than the general whiteness which is still obviously a problem albeit one the show is slowly working on.)

The reboot then brought in (some, not enough) queer characters and main characters of colour, etc, and its general diversity has only been getting better and better on that front for the most part, especially in the last couple of years. 

But anyway, how the hell did it get mixed up with the whole SuperWhoLock mess? 

Well, the reboot brought in a whole new generation of fans, and only got bigger and bigger and bigger, and was peaking RIGHT about when Sherlock aired. 

The Doctor Who and Sherlock crossover is easy enough to work out; they had the same headwriter(s), and they’re both about neurodivergent (coded??) genius white guys that theoretically have a kind of unconventional attractiveness to them. You can see how they drew in the same crowd. 

Now, how the hell Supernatural became a part of that, I’ve no idea. I’ve never been a Supernatural fan (even if I did watch the first four and a half seasons once, more or less enjoy them, but also not find them massively interesting). 

But I’m going to assume it’s because it again involved white guys with Big Emotions, that the fans could thirst over, who were undertaking some larger than life shit. 

My theory is that it, at least partly, was the White Male Slash Fandom. 

You know. That group of mostly straight girls who treat shipping conventionally attractive white men like a fetish and a kink to explore, who will ship basically any two CAWM under the sun if they so much as look at each other. I imagine the Johnlock crowd overlapped with the Destiel and Wincest crowd, and Doctor Who, since it had Ten/Simm!Master (and Eleven/Rory to a lesser extent) as well as some nice hetero ships, kind of got dragged along because almost everyone in the Sherlock fandom was probably in the Doctor Who fandom too. 

You can kind of see how it fits. The Supernatural gang and the Team TARDIS are big damn heroes with a lot of heart, while Sherlock fulfilled the ideal levels of pretentiousness that we all go through in our teenage years. 

Of course, then everyone realised that Supernatural kinda sucks because it’s an incredibly white, incredibly male, incredibly STRAIGHT show that just queerbaits its audience and doesn’t know when to call it quits, and so everyone started jumping ship. 

Then everyone looked at Sherlock, either went “this has its issues but it’s still fun”, “this is QUEERBAITING TOO, WHY WONT JOHNLOCK KISS, FUCK MOFFISS”, or “this is also incredibly white, incredibly male, and incredibly straight, so fuck this also”, and that was it for Sherlock and general opinion too. 

(For the record: Johnlock was not queerbait. Johnlock was an expression of Steven Moffat’s own very intimate, but platonic, friendship with Mark Gatiss, and they explicitly told everyone they were not gonna make it gay. And then the toxic ass fandom, deluded out their minds, started sending Gatiss - an actual gay man - abuse about being “an honorary straight” for not making their fetishised fictional relationship canon, at one point literally the day after the Pulse massacre. Seriously. What the fuck. Never speak about it being queerbaiting ever again and leave Mark Gatiss the fuck alone.) 

Now. Doctor Who had meanwhile been dealing with the changeover of the showrunner. 

Series 5 went down pretty well for the most part, but a lot of people had their issues with Series 6 and Series 7. The fandom had kind of gotten too big, for a show this unconventional. To the point of a lot of people not being able to deal with the distinct change from the style of Russell T Davies, because they weren’t really aware of how the show needs to reinvent itself constantly even on a stylistic level. Because they were treating the show like any other show, when one can’t really do that. 

It was all kind of a mess of:

very mixed fan reception on Series 6

Series 7 being on the weaker side (not as weak as some people who missed the whole point of Clara’s storyline make it out to be, but weak nonetheless, though Moffat has admitted to this and explained it was because he was under so much pressure about the looming 50th anniversary, and like, fuck, fair enough)

people being pissed at Moffat for Sherlock shit

Russell T Davies having done quite a few things in his era that are questionable from a wider Doctor Who standpoint, which Moffat as the Ultimate Who Fan didn’t go along with, only to then receive hate from people who were convinced that if RTD did something it must be right, because they haven’t seen Classic Who or apparently bothered to do a couple of google searches to educate themselves

plus, a few of Moffat’s quotes around 2012ish got taken out of context because he’s a sarcastic little shit who runs his mouth

and so people got the idea that Moffat’s a narcissistic misogynist who “loves white men”

also people confused “plot hole” with “is going to be explained later” and complained about him having plot holes in series 5-7 when really it’s just that he was waiting to tie up all the loose ends in Matt Smith’s finale episode

Anyway, thus began the popular - to this day! - sentiment of thinking that Moffat is one of the worst things to happen to television, or at least Doctor Who (and Sherlock Holmes). 

And so, that was the “downfall” of Doctor Who and SuperWhoLock, so to speak, as all three shows were written off by the wider Tumblr/nerd community as being incredibly cringy. 

Now, to examine it from today’s view, in light of recent series/opinion about the series/the female Doctor reveal. 

The problem is, the general attitude about Moffat - who don’t get me wrong, is far from a flawless writer, or person - has literally reached the point of mass delusion. It’s very clear that literally thousands of people have a completely fictionalised version of him in their heads. 

How do I know this? I saw someone say that a female Doctor was a “defiance of everything the Moffat era stood for”. 

As in, the same Moffat era that, in the last three seasons:

explicitly made the genderfluidity of Time Lords canon (Dark Water/Death In Heaven, World Enough And Time)

changed the Master into a woman (Dark Water)

had the now female Master refer to becoming a woman as an “upgrade” (The Witch’s Familiar)

had a companion’s whole storyline be about “becoming the Doctor” in her own right, with her getting a whole episode of her pretending to be the Doctor, and her flying off in her own TARDIS with a companion of her own in the end of her final episode! (Flatline, Hell Bent)

had ANOTHER companion’s storyline end with her immortal space girlfriend at the console of the TARDIS, offering for her to travel through all of time and space with her in a direct parallel to the Nine/Rose offer from the first episode to the reboot (The Doctor Falls, Rose)

had a Time Lord regenerate from a white guy to a black lady onscreen just to FINALLY shut up people who said race/gender changes couldn’t happen (Hell Bent)

had the Doctor positively reacting to the suggestion that he could be  - or had been - a woman, multiple times (Death In Heaven, World Enough And Time, The Doctor Falls)

Moffat’s era has been statistically proven to have shifted public opinion in favour of a female Doctor (ask @scriptscribbles, if you want proof), thanks to the above. 

Simm!Master: “She? Is the future going to be all girl?” 

Twelve: “We can only hope.” 

Also, Moffat wrote Lumley!Doctor in The Curse of Fatal Death in 1999. He’s been pushing for a female Doctor for 18 damn years. 

So, the idea that anyone thinks he’s against it, as opposed to having explicitly worked to help make it happen for years, shows that the general opinion of him is literally a mass fictionalisation/delusion. 

(It’s just one example, but there are hundreds of others, like how everyone seems to think he thinks of himself as The Greatest Ever and having a huge ego, when he’s literally one of the most self-deprecating people ever, if you watch him in an interview. He’s openly admitted to mistakes he’s made on his time on the show, such as the way he handled the scene at the end of Flesh and Stone, and how Series 7 wasn’t his best because of the pressure he was under about the upcoming 50th anniversary; he is aware of his fallibility.) 

He’s not a perfect person, or writer, and no one knows that better than him. There’s a lot of critical discussions we could have about his writing, and there are a fair few actual problems with it, just as there are in the RTD era, and every damn era of Who that has existed. I’m not saying everybody has to like it, because every era of Doctor Who is down to personal preference, and that’s fine. There are plenty of rational, well-informed people, fans and otherwise, who have their -often sound - reasons for not liking Moffat and/or his era of Who in general. I am friends with some of them. 

But those rational, well-informed people are like, 5% of the people who otherwise make up a sea of loud, ignorant delusion that condemns Doctor Who under Moffat’s direction and downright refuses to acknowledge some of the amazing stuff it’s done in the last few years. 

(Like, Series 10 featured a black lesbian co-lead who got a happy ending, leaving the Moffat era finishing strong on six canonically sapphic women, four of whom are still alive, none of whom died pointlessly or without agency, and three of whom are immortal or close enough, in a time when all other TV sapphics are dropping dead like flies. It also had the Doctor punch a racist in the face and comment on how history is whitewashed, and had an episode slamming capitalism. Plus, the finale canonised that Time Lords don’t view gender the same way, reinforcing canon genderfluid Time Lords.)  

Between his second and third seasons of DW being divisive and/or a bit weak, all the Sherlock shit going down, and the fall of Supernatural, and the issue of people taking RTD Who as the baseline for everything Doctor Who when they really shouldn’t have, anti-Moffat sentiments got so big that masses of people fell off the show, and continue to refuse to acknowledge that he might have done anything worthwhile with it since they left. That he might, as a person, have developed and improved. 

And so, that is potentially how Doctor Who got lumped in with SuperWhoLock, labelled “not progressive”, and considered “cringy” to this day. 

Or at least, that’s my theory, as someone who wasn’t really paying a lot of attention, but knows her Doctor Who. 

[qthewetsprocket]

The Doctor is dead...long live the Doctor

Some scattered thoughts about my deja vu for a similar period in Who history, the unaccustomed sensation of pure fandom joy, and unexpected melancholy and uncertainty for the future.

(SPOILERS ahead probably.)

The run-up to this year’s s10 finale has reminded me a *lot* of the 2009 ‘End of Time’ s4 finale. For those who maybe weren’t in the fandom back then, we had:

1) Simm!Master coming back to the series.

2) The current actor playing the Doctor making his final appearance.

3) John Simm coming back as the Master.

4) The programme changing showrunners.

3) Did I mention Simm!Master? Yeah. We were all kind of pumped.

I don’t remember ~ever~ being as excited for any episodes of television as I was for The End of Time part 1 and 2. And it seemed like most of fandom felt the same way… there was spec; there was meta; there was silliness; and the fic and fanart flowed like Tardises through the vortex.

It was one of the few golden times when the whole fandom seemed immersed in pure joy. (Or maybe it was just me. Either way it was a rare occurrence.)

So yeah… I don’t remember ever being so excited for any Doctor Who episodes… until now.

To quote the Fourth Doctor, though: it feels different this time. For one thing, we don’t know for certain who the new Doctor is, and I’m pretty sure that last time when we were this close to the actual regeneration, we’d already seen Matt in all his inadvertent Doctor-y glory. He even got a whole special episode of Doctor Who Confidential just to introduce him to the fandom. (RIP Confidential; you are sorely missed.)

I’ve only heard rumours about the favoured (male) replacement for Capaldi this time around, but I have to say I’m hoping very hard they aren’t true. Miranda Hart would rock my world as the Doctor. Olivia Colman would kick all available ass and then some. The male favourite? Gross.

We also had a better idea of the new showrunner’s style and intentions the last time around. Steven Moffat had already written some of the most iconic episodes and characters of New Who by the time he took over (The Empty Child; Captain Jack Harkness; River Song; the Weeping Angels). Plus he was a self-admitted fanboy, and to my mind that should be a prerequisite requirement of anyone helming the show, ever.

Chibnall’s a little more of an unknown quantity. His Life on Mars eps were sort of hit-and-miss... the one where a suspect died in custody was pretty solid, but the one where Sam tries to educate his future mentor in how to be black in a racist all-white workplace has several cringeworthy moments. Still, it gets points for ‘fell short of what it tried to achieve, but was actually trying to achieve something pretty worthy, so.”

Same with Broadchurch. Solid characters; strong attempts to write women who weren’t extentions of male characters; and thank GOD he never tried to make Hardy and Miller go to bed together just because male and female lead.

I’ve been less impressed with his actual Who output, though (42; The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood; Dinosaurs on a Spaceship). Nothing outrightly offensive, mind; but nothing really standout, either. Also, AFAIK, he’s not the bona-fide fanboy that Moffat and RTD were. (If anyone has other information, please do enlighten a worried Q.)

So, yeah… there’s a little more uncertainty this time around; a little less exuberance. Last time I felt like I knew more about what we were getting into, and I felt really optimistic about it. RTD-era Who’s treatment of female characters made me so angry it was bad for my blood pressure, so I could have kissed Moffat - the man who wrote River Song as an equal for the Doctor instead of an inexperienced, hero-worshipping 19-year-old girl - for taking over. Also, Matt Smith was so much the Doctor that within 30 seconds of seeing him speak I knew we were in excellent hands.

Last week’s episode, with the brilliant Simm!Master Rumplestiltskin disguise, really rekindled some of that pure End of Time Who fandom bliss for me. But even though we’ve got the Missy-Master face-off to look forward to this week, I’m a bit hesitant. I don’t want this era to end. I’m not ready to let it go. Short term, anything coming after John Simm and Michelle Gomez playing the same character is going to have a very tough act to follow; and long term, the future feels much less secure than it did seven and a half years ago.

But I’m hopeful. I’ve been proven wrong about Doctor Who before (extremely rare, but it has happened), so I’m very much hoping to be pleasantly surprised by whatever Chibnall brings to the table.

[ew-trash]

Yikes

Edd groaned, annoyed as his body gradually shifted awake. His tongue was beyond dry and his stomach rumbled slightly, figures. For a minute, Edd just stayed in bed, hoping his body would take the hint and let him just sleep, but his stomach again grumbled, a little more angrily this time. With a frustrated sigh Edd flung his legs over the side of his bed, and glanced at his alarm clock, 1:23 am. He grunted as he pushed himself out of his bed and onto the cold hardwood floor, the moonlight filtering softly into his room. A soft blue hue held the room nicely. Edd grumbled unintelligibly as he shuffled out of his room, disgruntled by having to even get up. As he adventured out of his room the first thing to catch his attention was the shifting lights at the end of the hallway, someone was watching tv? As he moved closer he recognized one of the actors voices, matt smith. Doctor Who than? Must be (y/n), she'd always spend hours watching that silly show. Edd felt his heart flutter ever so slightly, it'd be nice to talk to her alone this early. Though, as Edd made his way into the living room he felt himself screech to a halt. (Y/N) was there, as expected, watching doctor who, but she wasn't exactly dressed as expected. She lounged lazily splayed across the couch with one of Tom's old tees on, short feminine gym shorts, and a pair of blue doctor who thigh high socks. Edd's eyes immediately diverted to her socks, traveling up her leg slowly. They shaped her calves nicely and the band at the end hugged her thighs, leaving a slight indent in the skin. The way the exposed skin above the socks reflected the blueish hues from the tv, it was so... enticing. Edd struggled to form words, or even thoughts as his sweatpants quickly grew tight, for a moment he considered diverting and escaping to his room, but it was too late. "Oh, hey edd." Her voice was soft, and nonchalant. Edd nodded to her somewhat nervously. "What's up (y/n)." He tried to stay cool as he passed her on his way to the kitchen, though she got up and followed. Part of Edd was thrilled, another was horrified. "Nothin much, gonna grab some popcorn while you're in there." Edd nodded, and started searching for some snacks while sneaking a peak at (y/n). She was up on the counter, reaching to a top shelf for some popcorn, and her shirt was hovering above her hip bones exposing her waist. Edd blushed deep red and looked away quickly. He gathered a few things and stood quickly, carefully positioning them in front of his crotch "ah, goodnight (y/n)" he muttered quietly and moved to turn away, but something grabbed his wrist just as he was disappearing into the hallway, and pushed him against the wall. As he snacks fell softly to the ground he looked up at his captor, and found (y/n)'s intense (e/c) eyes staring back at him. She let off, allowing him to move a bit, but kept firm hold of his hand. "You thought I didn't notice your staring?" Edd stammered, bright red "i-i'm sorry, I didnt mean to-" she placed his hand on her waist, but kept hold of it "you can just ask you know." Her voice was softer now, and she led his hand brushing down her hips, to her thighs, where the skin met socks. He was beat red, and his breathing had picked up, his erection not so well concealed now. "(Y/N)..." He started, but she cut him off with a firm kiss, one hand still on his, and another bracing herself against his chest. Gaining a little confidence, Edd began gently massaging the skin right above her socks, a soft moan leaving his lips as he did. (Y/n) grinned mischievously, and Edd began to wonder if this was somehow planned. (Y/n) moved her hand off of his now, and in turn moved for his hips, gently running her fingers down to his dick and cupping him through his sweatpants. "Mmm- (y/n) not, not here" his voice was a bit horse, but he seemed assured. With an annoyed grunt (y/n) took his hand and led him quickly to his own room, and shut the door behind him, immediately slipping her shirt off and turning to him. Edd was at a loss for words, this was happening so quickly he hardly had time to register what was happening. Before he could really react (y/n) had him against the opposite wall to his door, his bed mere feet away. She was kissing him feverishly as she managed to pull of his shirt as well. Edd felt a bit overwhelmed, but in a good way, he found his arms again awkwardly laying at his sides but before he could move them (y/n) moved on hand to her hip and the other to her ribs, just below her bra. Edd's breaths grew a little shakier as she began loosely giving him friction through his pants, and he moved his hand under her bra, tweaking her nipple gently. She gasped a bit, rolling her hips on his and gaining a groan from him. Getting bolder Edd grabbed her hand and flipped them around, her against the wall and him pinning her hands. With one hand he held her wrist above her head and with another he teased the waistline of her shorts. She hummed approvingly and he didn't waste anytime slipping his hand under her shorts and panties (which as he felt they seemed to be lace). He move to press gently on her clit and she immediately responded, moaning into his kiss and pressing her hips into his hand. He grinned lopsidedly as he rubbed her in gentle circles, her soft gasps and moans growing in volume. He shifted to her ear and muttered quietly "you have to be quiet doll you'll wake them up." She bit her lip and nodded, and Edd took the moment to kiss her neck softly. She seemed to be losing composure by the second and Edd decided too much more and she'd come just like this, so he moved both hands to her waist and lifted her up, having her wrap her legs around his waist and plopping her down on the bed, subconsciously shifting his hips against hers. She waisted no time slipping off her shorts to reveal, as expected, blue lace panties to match her socks. Edd began to think this was definitely planned, but he said nothing, more focused on her hand moving to get rid of his own pants. He grabbed her wrist suddenly, Unsure of what he was doing, and she immediately let off. "Im sorry, do you not want this? I should've asked." (Y/n) quickly devolved into apologies, but Edd shook his head and shushed her "no, no I want this Im just... Nervous." (Y/n) shifted, sitting up to look him in the eye. "Why are you nervous?" He sighed and looked away. "I dunno, I'm just, I'm not like Tom and Tord and Matt and all, Cool and Handsome and Hard core, I'm just, me." (Y/n) smiled softly, something gentle in her eyes "but I dont want Cool Handsome and Hardcore, I want sweet cute and gentle. I want you." Edd blushed bright red, averting her eyes in embarrassment. "I swear you're gonna be the death of me." He muttered, hiding his face in his hands, she giggled light heartedly and pulled him into a hug, pulling him down onto her. As he fell though their hips seemed to move just right and he couldn't help the low groan that left his lips. She looked up at him, through her eyelashes. "Do you want this?" She asked, softly. He nodded. With that she pulled off her panties, and kissed him passionately again. He pulled down his own boxers enough to let his erection spring free, and immediately he started stroking himself off, but she swatted his hand away and shifted through his bedside drawer, finding a condom he kept their quickly. "How do you know about that?" He asked absentmindedly as he rolled the condom on. "Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to" she replied quickly, watching him intently. Edd took a second to position himself, but as quickly as he could manage he pushed into (y/n) slowly and gently. Edd groaned lowly as he pressed in, reveling in the soft moan she let slip from her throat. For a moment he stayed still, letting her adjust, but soon enough she seemed to grow impatient and began moving her hips herself. Taking the incentive he pulled almost all the way out of her, than slammed back in. He set a fast pace, eyes almost completely shut as he fucked her. For a moment though, he caught a good look at her, hair disheveled, eyes fluttered closed, mouth hung open slightly and soft sighs and moans spilling out, and those stupid socks! They still clung tightly to her legs, at the sight Edd groaned deeply and gripped her hips a little more roughly. As time went on Edd's thrusts grew a little more erratic, nearing his climax he let out a soft grunt as some sort of warning. She nodded, her grip on his shoulders moving to his neck as she wrapped her arms around him. With a few more thrusts she came, Edd following closely behind. (Y/n) moaned his name a little louder than he would've hoped but he could hardly worry about that, far too enraptured by /her/. The way her back arched and her eyes fluttered shut, her lips were parted and her voice rang clear, moaning his name like a bad word. He groaned lowly as he came, thrusting roughly and erratically into her, his blunt nails digging into her waist. They collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavily and smiling. Edd chuckled and she giggled lightly, "how did you know?" He asked finally. "You tried hiding an erection with a box of oreos." The two broke into breathy laughter and Edd pulled her close, nuzzling into her neck as he chuckled softly. "I kind of love you Edd." She muttered softly. He smiled against her skin "i kind of love you too." Its me ur boi @aestheticaly-unpleased Take this trash Enjoy Nice good shit

[companionjones]

I Love You

Requested: Can you write a 11th doctor x reader where they get in a huge fight because she thinks he is cheating on her. In the end he is not and they make up.

Requested by: @ollybear

Fandom: Doctor Who, Eleventh!Doctor

Pairing: Eleventh!Doctor x Abused!Needy!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Abused!Needy!Reader

Author’s Note: I would like to send the biggest thank you to @ollybear for requesting (and waiting so long for) this. This is my first real request. And what a great request this is! I really hope you like it, even if you’re not @ollybear. P.S. GO CHECK OUT @ollybear‘s PAGE THEY ARE AWESOME (especially for waiting for this). P.P.S. So sorry this took so long.

In this story, River isn’t married to the Doctor. Think of her as a female version of Captain Jack Harkness. Always flirting with the Doctor, yet never actually doing anything harmful.

“Hey, Doctor,” your meek voice sounded from the stairs heading into the control room of the TARDIS as you hesitantly moved down them.

The Doctor was playing with some switches and levers on the TARDIS’s console. He glanced up at you and flashed a smile. “Hello, y/n.”

Deep breath, “I’m going to ask you a question. Please, just answer it with the truth.”

At that moment, the Doctor straightened up, and looked to you with genuine concern. “What’s wrong?”

Another deep, shaky breath, “Are you cheating on me with River?”

The Doctor froze. The look on his face showed such sadness, you broke.

“Oh my god,” you started shaking.

Alien boy looked like he just snapped out of a trance. The look on his face didn’t change, though. “No, no, y/n. It’s not like that–”

This time you screamed, “Oh my god!”

“Y/n, please, no…,” the Doctor continued ramble, but you weren’t around to hear it. You had already taken off up the stairs, and down the many hallways of the TARDIS. When your legs couldn’t carry you anymore, you collapsed against the wall of one, and fell to the floor.

The two of you had been together since two regenerations ago. You admitted your feelings for one another in the him before this him. How could he do this? He probably got tired of you. And River, you couldn’t compare to River. She actually had some self-confidence. You, however, needed constant reassurance from the Doctor that he actually wanted to be with you. You yourself would have gotten tired of you by now. Damn those assholes who made you like this.

Not too long later (you assumed the TARDIS wanted the Doctor to find you for some reason), you heard footsteps running up to you.

“Y/n…” the Doctor whispered, then kneeled down in front of you. He was afraid to touch you just yet.

You were crying, and your knees were against your chest. You sat against the wall, and your eyes were hidden in your arms, which were resting on your legs. “I-I–” you struggled to say something, anything, but nothing coherent came through you lips.

“It’s not–” it hurt the Doctor so much to see you like this, “It’s not like that, y/n. You-you know how River is. She’s always flirting…” he gently set a hand down on your foot closest to him. His thumb moved back and forth, slowly, comfortingly, on your ankle.

You were quiet for a moment, but soon finally found a voice. Albeit a somewhat angry one. “Then why do you do it back?”

The Doctor looked surprised. “I-I do?”

“I don’t know, every time she does something like that you’re always blushing and stumbling over your words...”

He closed his eyes in shame. He should have known how he acted around River would have an affect on you. You were very fragile with these sort of things, the Doctor knew because of the troubles with your family, friends, and love (if you can call it that) in the past. He always tried to make you know how important you really were to him and everyone and everything.

“Y/n, I am so, so sorry the way I act around River made you think I feel like that about her. I have absolutely no romantic feelings for her. Please, please know that.” begged the Doctor. At this point he’d carefully taken your hand in his.

You sniffled and tried to calm yourself down, using your free hand to attempt to dry your tears. “I’m sorry,” you started.

The Doctor shook his head, and started to dry your tears with his free hand. He didn’t like when you apologized. It was almost never necessary for you to do so.

“I know how annoying I can be,” you continued with a bitter laugh, “You’re a Time Lord that saves planets full of life forms daily for Christ's sake. You got tired of putting up with my shit a while ago. I-I’ll calm down. Don’t worry, I’ll keep quiet from now on. You know what, just drop me back--” you were interrupted.

You’d been kissed by the Doctor. He’d swiftly leaned in, he’d put his free hand on the wall, he’d tightened his other hand on yours, and he’d embraced your lips with his own. The two of you held that for five seconds before the Doctor tried a new angle, and despite how much he wanted to say to you as soon as possible, the Doctor relished in the feeling of your lips on his. Once the Doctor broke away, he rested his forehead on yours.

“I love you,” he stated, “Never, ever believe otherwise, alright? You are more important to me, and to everything, than you know. And as for what you call ‘your shit’,” he gave a short laugh, “First of all, it isn’t shit. You were abused, and it made you believe some very wrong things. Second of all, I will never get tired of reminding you who you really are through that haze of self-doubt those people put around you during all of those horrible years.”

The figure sitting opposite of him was almost speechless, “Doctor...”

“Did I mention I loved you?” The Doctor smiled.

You blushed, “Yes...”

“Do you want me to say it again?”

You actually giggled, “Yes.”

“I love you,” the Doctor laughed and kissed your forehead. He hugged you close, then he whispered sincerely, “I love you so much.”

Author’s Note: Okay, I want to start this note by apologizing to @ollybear (whose page you should definitely check). I took way too long of a time at getting this out than I was supposed to, and I don’t even think @ollybear likes Abused!Reader, let alone Needy!Reader. I just feel really bad. Anyway, thank you very, very much for reading this. There is more content on my page including more Doctor Who, Hamilton, Supernatural, and Marvel. Yes, I know this isn’t the best example, but requests are open, so, yeah...

Have a nice day, night, or what ever time it is for you, and I love you.

**Credits for the characters River, Jack Harkness, and the TARDIS go to the BBC, and the creators of Doctor Who. Credits for the character the Eleventh Doctor go to the BBC, the creators of Doctor Who, and Matt Smith**

Really, go check out @ollybear‘s page.

[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 16: Pay it forward

On Christmas, SB Nation’s RedZone diarist looks back on a season of football and parenting

Christmas is difficult, even if you like it. As the days grow shorter, the responsibilities mount. You need to buy more gifts than is financially responsible. Buy and decorate a tree. Purchase and send Christmas cards. Arrange travel during the most difficult season to travel. And if you’re a parent, there’s a whole other slew of things to be bought and baked and dropped off at school.

Perhaps you are the kind of person who buys gifts throughout the year, then labels and stores them in a logical place. Maybe you can come home after a long day of work and crank out 30 Christmas cards while listening to Bing Crosby. I am not that person. I abuse my Amazon Prime membership to get gifts delivered in time, and I still end up shopping on Christmas Eve, which is also when I wrap gifts. The holiday cards we send — kids smiling, bullet points about the family — inevitably get mailed in the days after Christmas. (They say “Happy New Year” for a reason.)

On Friday, my grandmother had a massive aneurysm near her heart. She survived surgery but lost a kidney; the doctors said that similar conditions are fatal 90% of the time, and of the 10% who survive, 90% never leave the hospital again.

And of course I hadn’t sent her card yet. I dashed off an attempt to be positive, commending her toughness through the ordeal, which wasn’t over. I dropped it in the mail, and she died 12 hours later.

She never met my kids, but that didn’t stop her from lavishing them with gifts on their birthdays and Christmas. I called infrequently and visited less. And because of who I am, a bullshit deadline artist who can’t work ahead of schedule, a nice old lady didn’t get to see a couple more pictures of her great-grandchildren before she died.

I woke up to the news on Christmas Eve morning. My wife asked if I needed a few minutes. “I think so?” I said, and she went to get the kids up. But they were attuned to my absence. My son caught a glimpse of me in the doorway, and he ran to me yelling, “DADDY! DADDY!” with my daughter in hot pursuit. I gathered them in my arms and told them that I loved them, and if they didn’t see my tears, it’s only because they don’t yet understand that I’m fallible, flawed.

I wept because I can never repay the love I’ve gotten. I wept because I can only pay it forward.

In lieu of play-by-play of Week 16 RedZone action, this week’s NFL Dad is a retrospective on the season so far.

Week 1: Tony Romo’s announcing debut

Football: Tony Romo in the announcing booth is “like breathing pure oxygen after YEARS of Phil Simms leaking carbon monoxide into my home.” Elsewhere, Tom Savage gets mauled by the Jags for six sacks in the first half, and Bill O’Brien accidentally discovers that Deshaun Watson is his franchise quarterback.

Parenting:

Quick story from the kids’ birthday party. One of the dads there had a thick orange cast on his hand. He was a bookish guy: slim, glasses, graying hair and gray beard neatly trimmed — a Brooklyn Dad like many other Brooklyn Dads. One of the other dads gestured to his cast and said, “What happened?”

He sighed. “I smashed it pretty bad at Burning Man.” A long pause, and none of us interrupted it. He added: “... as one does.”

Week 2: Sick kids and dog vomit

Football:

In Pittsburgh, Sam Bradford is a late scratch due to his knee rejecting last week’s touchdown implant. Case Keenum will start, and if I had a bookie I would put my salary on the Steelers today.

Parenting:

My daughter broke her clavicle last week. It’s a common injury for young children, not just Tony Romo. She fell out of a chair a few minutes before we had to leave for her second day of preschool, and I didn’t think it was a serious injury at the time. “We have to go! Can’t miss the second day of school!” was my thinking. I should be an NFL team doctor.

So she’s in a sling for Week 2 of the NFL season (and for the next four weeks) while my son happily toddles around the house. Just kidding! My son is battling a 102-degree fever and an ear infection. Ha HA! Let’s watch some football!

Week 3: Protests, Naps, and Guacamole

Football: The 0-2 Saints start doing wild stuff like playing defense in their win over the Panthers; the insane ending to first half of Steelers-Bears deserves revisiting; Deshaun Watson’s brilliance isn’t enough to overcome the Pats in New England; the Eagles need a 61-yard field goal at the end of the game to beat the Giants.

Parenting:

My son’s other obsession tonight — besides smashing his face into the couch — is the hokey-pokey. He’s no good at putting his hand in and shaking it all about, but he DOMINATES at turning around. He spins around in circles until he careens left and crashes into the credenza. He thinks it’s hilarious. He is correct.

Week 4: Disney Princesses are a scourge

Football: Antonio Brown gets angry and flips a Gatorade cooler; the Dolphins get shut out in London while Jay Cutler’s no-effort Wildcat play goes viral; Dalvin Cook’s season ends with an ACL tear; the Jets beat the Jaguars in overtime; the Bucs defense is so bad that Eli Manning scores on a 14-yard scramble.

Parenting:

With the exception of Moana and maybe Frozen, the rest of the Disney princesses are a scourge on parenthood. The Disney Princess Industrial Complex essentially operates like the anti-vaccine movement. No matter how many parents want to raise their daughters to be action-oriented, independent problem solvers, there’s always a nanny or a grandmother who’s pushing Sleeping Beauty or Snow White (which are the SAME DAMN STORY), and that shit spreads like the plague.

And regardless of your feelings on feminism, the message isn’t a great one to send your kids. “Got a problem? Just go to sleep and someone will take care of it.” That only works if your dad owns an NFL team.

Week 5: Apple picking season

Football: Myles Garrett gets a sack on his first NFL snap; the Browns finally get their first lead of the season (it doesn’t last); Ben Roethlisberger throws five INTs, including consecutive pick-sixes, in a blowout to the visiting Jags; Odell Beckham suffers a season-ending injury; HOOOOO-WEEEEE look at this Cassel-Cutler shootout at the half.

Matt Ufford

Parenting:

My son is up from his nap. He sleepily staggers over and throws his arms around me in a big hug. I know that doesn’t really pop off the screen as anything special, but trust me when I say my brain is FLOODED with dopamine from his carefree smile and chubby arms.

This is the bone that human biology throws to parents. “Oh, is every day with a young child the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced? FINE, bathe in the warmth of infinite love.” And all of us stupid parents are like, “Oh, yeah, that’s good. This is worth surrendering my house to childproofing measures and chiming plastic bullshit.”

Week 6: Daughter’s birthday party; Aaron Rodgers injured

Football:

The Falcons were 11.5-point favorites at home, and they lost to Jay Cutler. Gonna have to fumigate the whole stadium after that one.

Parenting:

My daughter runs into the room wearing a pink cape. She eats a tortilla chip that my son discarded on the couch. “I’m a superhero!” she says.

“What’s your superhero name?” I ask.

“HMMMMM.” She has obviously not done the groundwork on her origin story.

“Are you the Pink Crusader?”

“Yeah!” She runs out of the room, then runs back in. “I’m a superhero!”

“What’s your superhero name?” I ask again.

She yells, “The Pink Crusader!” Again, she runs out of the room.

She runs back in and stops in front of me. She casually leans an arm on the couch and says, “I’m the Pink Crusader.”

Week 7: Pumpkin flavored everything

Football:

The Bears earned zero first downs in the second half and became the first NFL team to win with fewer than five completed passes since ... the last time John Fox coached in the NFL. I’d rather have a block of cement coach my team.

Also, Joe Thomas tears his triceps :(

Parenting:

My sister had kids years before I did, and I was the typical ignorant drunk uncle when it came to her devotion to the kids’ naps and schedule. “What’s with the schedule? Why can’t the kids just power through this one time?” Because the schedule is GOD, man! The schedule is all powerful. It is the weather; it is the earth beneath your feet. Reject it and your life will be untethered from reality, a nonstop maelstrom of tears and tantrums.

Week 8: Halloween is my daughter’s Super Bowl

Football:

The Texans-Seahawks barnburner owns the late afternoon games. And while Deshaun Watson and Russell Wilson will rightly be remembered as the stars of the game, I’d like to point out that at one point Pete Carroll challenged a Wilson incomplete pass, claiming it was a fumble. The challenge was successful, and the fumble forward was good for a first down. That game was WILD.

Parenting:

MIRACLE: Both of my kids are eating their dinner without complaint or hesitation. They ignore the TV to pay attention to the Halloween book my wife is reading. Years from now, when their grade school teacher praises their attention spans, I’m gonna get up in the middle of the parent-teacher conference and do Mick Jagger’s rooster strut.

Week 9: Daylight Savings and Football Fights

Football: Julio Jones drops a wide-open touchdown in the end zone on 4th down; Tyreke Hill scores on an end-of-half Hail Mary that was 40-plus yards short of the end zone (the Alex Smith special); A.J. Green and Jaelen Ramsey are both ejected after Ramsey provokes the normally calm Green into an MMA takedown.

Parenting:

I want to make it clear that when your 18-month-old child usually naps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon, then circumvents that with a 25-minute doze before noon, you don’t just have an awake kid instead of a sleeping kid. You have a walking tire fire instead of two hours of silence. I will run for office and/or lead a revolution to eliminate seasonal clock changes.

Also, this memory would be lost forever if not for this dumb column:

[My daughter] brings over a small bowl of cashews, climbs onto the couch, and sits next to me. I say, “Oh, you brought me cashews!” as I take one, because Stock Dad is the role I was born to play. But then she feeds me a cashew, so I feed her one. And we go on that way until the bowl is empty. There’s football on TV, I guess.

Week 10: Poop. Poop everywhere.

Football: In the fantasy crime of the year, the Saints score six touchdowns on the ground while Drew Brees throws for none; rampant stupidity at the end of Chargers-Jaguars leads to overtime; John Fox challenges his team having 1st and goal at the 2, resulting in a Bears turnover. Coaching Move of the Year.

Parenting:

It’s weird the different stages kids can be at despite being similar sizes. My daughter, at age 3, is capable of having a conversation and expressing her feelings with words. My son, 18 months, understands everything we say, but is less a human than an organic chaos engine. The kid does forward-facing trust falls off stairs.

Week 11: National Interception Day

Football: Jay Cutler throws three interceptions in the first half, Alex Smith throws two against the Giants (including one on a shovel pass), Shane Vereen and Travis Kelce both throw picks on trick plays, and Nathan Peterman tosses FIVE on 14 passing attempts in a single half against the Chargers. Also, this Brock Osweiler interception is my favorite play of the year:

PICK-6-OHHH NO! Dre Kirkpatrick nearly has a 101-yard PICK-6... But fumbles inside the 5. Wow. #CINvsDEN http://pic.twitter.com/zUyPI5Q0xZ

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

Parenting:

My daughter is 3 years old and has still never seen Moana (or any movie), but frequent exposure to the soundtrack and a couple of plot points — “Moana has to save her people” — gives my daughter enough information to guide her body language, and we can see it in the way she play-acts.

When she’s Cinderella, I have to pretend to put a gown on her, and we dance together at the ball. When she’s Rapunzel, she flips her hair around; Ariel, and she holds up a scarf as a bikini. But when she’s Moana, she throws her shoulders back, struts with purpose, and thrusts her fist into the air — something she’d only previously done when saying, “I’m Batman!”

Week 12: Things fall apart

Football: Alex Smith implodes (again); Julio Jones destroys the Bucs; Broncos-Raiders is barely underway before the main event, Crabtree-Talib II: The Re-Snatchening.

Parenting:

I’m familiar with the schools of thought that say you shouldn’t incentivize potty training, and that’s how we started off, too. Then my daughter started holding in poops for several days before struggling to crank out the hardened rock in her butt, and we implemented a multi-tiered system of bribes that would put FIFA to shame.

Week 13: Christmas season!

Football: Tom Brady yells at Josh McDaniels; Eli Manning’s ironman streak is snapped by McAdoo-induced self-benching; the Jets-Chiefs shootout ends in Marcus Peters throwing a referee’s flag into the stands.

Parenting:

The kids play Ring Around the Rosie, and at the end of the song, only my daughter falls down. She looks at me from her back. “I just scored a touchdown.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask.

“I’m the Seahawks!”

My wife cuts in. “If you were the Seahawks, you wouldn’t get in the end zone so easily.” HARSH, WOMAN.

Week 14: SNOWBALL!

Football: LeSean McCoy carries the Bills to an overtime win over the Colts in a blizzard; Cam Newton single-handedly defeats the Vikings; the Browns choke away a two-touchdown lead against Brett Hundley’s Packers to keep their winless record intact; the Eagles-Rams heavyweight bout lives up to its billing, but Carson Wentz is lost to a torn ACL.

Parenting:

Before I had kids, diapers were the thing I feared most about parenthood. Which is stupid, because the thing you end up fearing most in the entire world is your own mortality. Diapers are fine.

That said, I just changed a diaper filled with the scent of death and campaign promises.

Week 15: Get used to disappointment

Football: Aaron Rodgers returns to save the Packers’ season, but the Panthers win to kill their dreams; Nick Foles coolly throws four touchdowns in his first start in relief of Wentz; catch rule shenanigans continue, with the ending of Patriots-Steelers the most pear-shaped; Teddy Bridgewater retakes the field to throw an interception.

Parenting:

Two- and 3-year-old kids have moods like the weather: Sometimes a thunderstorm hits, and there’s not much you can do but hole up and wait for it to pass. Eventually, the sun breaks through like nothing happened. As a parent, you feel your child owes you an explanation or apology for the 30 minutes you just lost, but you’ll get none. The weather has changed. You may as well shout at the sky, demand an explanation from the passing clouds.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Thank you for dealing with me and my kids this season. NFL Dad will be back with an especially loaded Week 17 edition next week.

[isagrimorie]

[January Meme] - Which season is your favorite in regards to the 12th Doctor?

“Which season is your favourite with regards to the 12th doctor?” For @thecatwriter

Series 10!

I liked some episodes in series 8 (Deep Breath, Time Heist, Mummy On the Orient Express, Flatline) and I thought series 9 was a step up in terms of Twelve’s characterization (The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar, Zygon Inversion/Invasion, Heaven Sent/Hell Bent) with the magnificent, magnificent best in class episode in Heaven Sent.

Husbands of River Song was really really fun but it’s series 10, I think where Twelve as a Doctor has coalesced into the Doctor he’s meant to be. He’s not trying too much in either direction (Am I a Good Man? / And acting like a Teenager) Twelve is finally settled in himself. The 24 years with River and the 70 years with Missy and being around humans seems to have really help calm down.

And one of the best elements of series 10 is Bill Potts and her relationship with the Doctor, it’s a shame Bill’s story gets muddled into Twelve’s ending story and Missy’s redemption arc. But before it happened Bill Potts was amazing and Pearl Mackie had such great chemistry and dynamic with Peter Capaldi. I’m forever mourning Bill is a one season Companion, I would love for Bill to meet Thirteen.

I love how Twelve was with Bill, and I love that Bill questioned Twelve about his ‘if a person has a gun to his head, you have no time to mourn’ mentality to everything. Bill truly felt like Twelve’s student and a sort of parallel to Susan.

I will always remember the touching bittersweet scene in Twice Upon a Time :

Bill: I hope we talk about it loads. I hope we spend years laughing about it. Come back alive. 

Twelve: Be here when I do.

My heart. Then, of course, there’s Missy and her arc with Twelve, who at that point of her many lives is also making more than an effort to be friend Twelve. What started was a long con turned into something that slowly started to change her, only to be set back once again by her past self (Simm!Master) and unknowingly influence her past self by killing Simm!Master the way she did: Thinking of the Doctor and among Cybermen, which would explain Missy’s Cybermen plot in series 8. Bootstrap Paradox.

Twelve himself, who has gone a long, long way from where he started from in Deep Breath to The Doctor Falls (‘Just be kind’).

Peter Capaldi’s run was such a wild ride for me: I adored his initial casting, because, CAPALDI! And then was slowly disillusioned with his mean treatment of Journey, Danny, and Courtney. I stopped for a couple of years and then learned about his character arc.

I love a great character arc, it’s like a siren song to me, so I tentatively dipped my toe in with Husbands of River Song, loved it and then dove head long into a rewatch starting from Time of the Doctor. A terrible episode send off for Matt Smith, IMO but a great set-up to Twelve’s post-war trauma and just fell in love with, deliberately skipping the episodes that made me drop the run in the first place, and circled back to them until after ‘Heaven Sent/Hell Bent’ and building up a lot of good will. The Caretaker still felt like it was a rusty steel wool scrub over my skin, adding Kill the Moon to that mix, which was really unpleasant. They wasted Hermione Norris (HOW DARE THEY) Twelve’s continuous mistreatment of Courtney (his last minute compliments to Courtney were that, last minute and an after thought), and the way he was so condescending to Clara.

The only one and great thing about Kill the Moon was Clara’s scorching tongue lashing of Twelve, finally shaking him off that high horse and his ‘she’s my carer so I don’t have to’ attitude.

Then the brilliant Death in Heaven moment between Clara and Twelve and we finally see how much Twelve truly cares for Clara, once he, again, stops being so into his head.

Series 9 had all the fantastic episodes, culminating in series 10 with Twelve’s characterization making its completed run. I just honestly love how it all comes together. There are stumbles, of course: the Lie of the Land fan bait with the regeneration. Clara, Donna, and River needed to appear and give Twelve slaps because wow, was that cruel and undeserved.

(Unfortunately, much as I love series 10, I also feel like it gave Bill the cruelest thing to happen to a Companion ever. Sure she got her happy ending, what happened to her getting there? Yeah, I can’t forgive or forget that.)

Let’s focus on the awesome stuff tho: Twelve’s character arc, Bill! Missy, and the almost TARDIS team we got with them (and Nardole). Too bad they all kind of died on the first outing. Um, Team Disaster Go?