#so i got in the habit of having 80-90% dark for a while since i couldnt have anything else. and i love it!

[quaranmine]

Dark chocolate is your favorite? Oh bless your heart.

you did NOT just hit me with the bless your heart, anon. i know what that means.

[forestlingincorporated]

I wanna talk about Janet Drake

I’m not against exaggeratedly evil versions of Tim’s parents, tbh. It’s fanfiction, if we can depict an Exaggeratedly Good version of Bruce (which we can, and I do, and I love) then we can depict the Drakes as Exaggeratedly Bad. As someone who personally identifies with Tim, and his brand of complicated parental abuse in particular, I find it cathartic to uncomplicate that abuse and rescue him from the Obviously Evil Bad People. 

That said, since much of comics lore is passed down word of mouth, the oral tradition surrounding Tim has developed this idea of Janet as The Worse Parent between her and Jack that was never really present in the comics. We see much LESS of Janet, and we have 20 years worth of comics depicting Jack as a neglectful hotheaded idiot who ultimate does love his son. More importantly, Jack isn’t very much LIKE Tim, so there is a habit to attribute Tim’s traits to his mother... and, as someone who really really identifies with Tim, Tim has... some negative traits. Tim can be a bitch sometimes. He’s fiercely intelligent and sweet and kind, with a strong sense of justice, but he can be cold and judgmental and unthinking - he fights those traits, but he does have them. 

And it is perfectly fine to depict Janet that way. I’ve enjoyed depictions of Cold Calculating Janet Drake, but it’s not the ONLY option, and I want to challenge fans to consider different avenues. Tim could pick up these traits from anywhere: a nanny, Mrs. Mc Ilvaine (”Mrs. Mac”), a teacher, tv, Sherlock Holmes novels, Bruce Wayne himself. Tim is capable of not being like EITHER parent. 

So, what do we KNOW about Janet? (I’ll also touch on Jack, but only in scenes he appears with Janet.) 

When Janet was first introduced she was depicted as a gentle but “modern” woman. This was written in 1989, told by a 13 year old Tim, so this theoretically was meant to take place in 1979. I’m not here to give a lecture on the history of sex discrimination in the united states, but much of the legislation protecting women in the workforce or surrounding women’s bodily autonomy would have been very very new in this initial depiction. 

Here, Janet is shown to be encouraging, emotional, maternal, and projects her own feelings onto Tim. Jack is shown to be slightly sexist, possibly discouraging, but not overbearing. And the artist is shown not to know how to draw children. 

To insert some speculation, I think it’s important to note all the Drakes witnessed a terrible murder/accident that day. I point this out, because this is the last time Jack and Janet are depicted this way. It’s possible they changed as a result of this event specifically. 

However, this is also a story being told by Tim. It’s also possible these events aren’t really “real” at all, and Tim is misremembering what his parents were like as a three-year-old, possibly projecting a more palatable version of his parents into the narrative. This is entirely up to personal interpretation. 

In fact, the Drakes are shown in Legend of the Dark Knight attending Haly’s Circus, and the artist knows what a toddler looks like and they’re depicted as already having a slightly strained relationship. Jack is clearly on the defensive, and Janet seems to be passive-aggressive, though she could just be attempting to explain the situation to her toddler honestly. The intended tone isn’t especially clear. 

I do want to point out, in this depiction, Tim isn’t being carried like he was in the previous one. He’s walking ahead of his parents, which isn’t a terrible horrible crime, but could be dangerous in a crowded place like the circus. Might be a subtle hint to his parents overall neglect. 

Back to A Lonely Place of Dying, in Tim’s memories of the night he discovered Robin and Dick Grayson were the same person at nine-years-old, his parents are home, and watching TV together while Tim played... trucks, idk, in the living room with them. (This is semi-interesting, because you could say “oh, Tim liked vehicle toys as a kid” or you could extrapolate that this is another subtle indication of Jack’s sexism, providing Tim with appropriately “boy toys.” Either interpretation is valid. If Tim was assigned female at birth, would they have been given “girl toys,” or allowed to play with whatever they wanted?) 

This is, to my knowledge, the only panel of the Drakes when Tim is between ages 3 and 13. They’re all together, which might indicate that the Drakes were home more often when Tim was 9, only later going on business trips when Tim was “old enough” but... 

This is Tim’s boarding school when he’s 13. While most boarding schools in the US are for grades 9-12, Tim is clearly not a freshman at age 13; look how much younger the other kids in this panel are. In the US, the youngest you can attend most boarding schools is 7. 

That means Tim could have begun going to boarding school anytime between 7 and 13. He most likely spent all of middle school in boarding school, at least. There are an almost infinite number of possible ways the Drakes handled having a business that required lots of international travel, an archeology hobby, AND a very young child. Janet staying home until Tim was 7, 11, 13, is equally possible as the Drakes having a nanny until 7, 11, 13. Tim just doesn’t talk about that period of his life very much.

(”What about Mrs. Mac?” - it is unclear when Mrs. Mac begins working for the Drakes. We only see her when Jack comes out of his coma. She could either be a long standing staff member, or a recent hire.) 

Note: I’ve seen it said that it’s canon that “According to Tim, when his parents were home, they made a point to try and include him in their activities, bringing him along to events that were normally adults only.” I have never seen this panel, or I don’t remember it, so I cannot confirm, but I also cannot debunk this because... comics. 

By the time Tim is 13, Jack and Janet are away on business trips a lot, with limited communication, and no firm return date. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say it was harder to communicate internationally in 1990 than it is today. If I’m not feeling generous, I’d say the Drakes are extremely wealthy, and international communication was easier than ever before in the 80s and 90s. They’re not even going home to see Tim in a week or two, they’re going home and calling Tim at boarding school in a week or two. 

Even Bruce thinks its weird, though he doesn’t say so to Tim’s face. It’s written almost as if Tim’s parents’ neglect was meant to be a plot point that just got forgotten about. 

Tim’s parents are fighting at this point (their poor assistant), but Janet still goes with Jack on these business trips. And she’s clearly involved in the business, somehow, but the comics never SAY what Janet’s JOB is. We’re told Jack is the exec, but Janet is ONLY ever referred to as Jack’s wife, though they’re later described as the “heads” of the company, plural. 

Just to be clear, this is Jack’s business. There’s a perception that Jack is a bad business man because he and Janet fight over company decisions, and Jack looses the business after Janet dies, but Jack looses the company YEARS after Janet dies, and maintains it for about a year after No Man’s Land at that. We’re not told how Jack looses the business, but he’s got to be doing something right. Janet isn’t necessarily the “real brains” of Drake Industries. 

And I’m not... gonna... touch the... exploitation and racism because... I’m not qualified to do that. But, here’s the panel. The Drakes sure seem exploitative and racist in their business decisions. Someone else can... analyze that with more nuance. 

Regardless how how long they’ve been fighting, when their lives are in danger, the Drakes fall back into a loving husband and wife. Their marriage may be falling apart, but they do care about each other. 

I want to show these panels because it shows that Tim and Jack do have things in common. They’re both level headed in a crisis and can be somewhat cold in their practicality. Janet meanwhile and silent. Jack is later willing rant and rave at their captors, but Janet remains silent. 

That is, until they’re alone, and she finally lets herself fall apart. 

God, Jack can be obnoxious. Janet just looks miserable and resigned. I actually think Tim takes after his parents in this respect in equal measure. Tim can have a temper, but he can also be fairly melancholy and defeatist. 

Jack keeps reminding Janet to be strong and in control, which could be period typical sexism? But Jack seems so practiced and ready with the words of encouragement, and with Tim’s history with depression, I wonder if Janet has an inclination towards it as well. 

As the end approaches, when Jack brings up Tim, Janet seems to have a lot of regret. She talks about “wasting” the good things, and I don’t think it’s too big of a stretch to assume she’s talking about time spent with her only child. 

From this point on, Janet is at times spoken of, but not seen. Like here, when Jack says Janet wouldn’t approve of him and Tim being so “far apart.” He says this after he tells him he takes back his threat to send him back to boarding school, which might imply Janet was against the idea of boarding school? Though she obviously lost that argument when she was alive. 

Jack will of course renege on this later, but that’s Jack Drake for you. 

Or here in Tim’s illness induced dream, where he gets everything he wants. Though, since this is a fantasy of Tim’s, where his father and girlfriend are both more accepting and understanding than they are in real life, I would take this depiction of Janet with a grain of salt. 

After loosing Drake Industries, Jack thinks about Janet (though, they call her Catherine/Cathy for some fucking reason) during his depressive episode. And... uh... 

Hallucinates a Valkyrie???? Is this symbolic of suicidal thoughts, or is she... real? Or is he seriously hallucinating? 

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss Jack’s mental state, the fact that he forgot Tim’s birthday, or that concerning “I was going to knock some sense into you but you’re still bigger than me” statement from Tim, we’re here to talk about Janet. And even though this entire arc is about Jack mourning his first wife, they don’t SAY anything about Janet herself at all. I mean, they don’t even get her name right, so I guess what was I expecting. 

Then there’s Origins and Omens, which also doesn’t say anything about Janet, except that Tim’s memory of her is faulty - Janet was poisoned, her assistant Jeremy’s throat was slit on television, but Tim seems to have conflated the death he did see with the death he didn’t. 

The only piece of canon to suggest that Janet might be cold, is Tim compares her to Thalia. And even then, he’s really just saying Janet was protective of him. It’s kind of a scary look to make at your kid, but Bruce does the same thing, so. 

I do want to say... it’s not 100% clear if Tim is even talking about Janet. He could be talking about Dana. Dana was observably protective of Tim, though I don’t think he’s ever called her mom. He PROBABLY means Janet. 

And finally we have Tim visiting his mother’s grave (in a duel Christian/Jewish cemetery, make of that what you will), where Tim says she was “a little religious.”

And that’s it! That is all we know about Janet Drake in New Earth. Hardly the Mom From Hell, but she isn’t perfect. I’d be interested in seeing some alternate depictions of her within the fandom. 

I’m still gonna eat up Terrible Parents From Hell like a starving puppy dog, though. Just some food for creative thought. 

[thanatosangels]

the Life of Lucie

Lucie Herondale au request by @daisyherxndale - thank you so much!! this was so fun to write!! <3

tagging: @churchthecatismyspiritanimal @fairchild-squad @truth-lies-hidden @princesslucretia @abigneignenn <333

Lucie was never quite sure why she didn’t age and die.

James did. She supposed he was always more like Papa though, in looks and personality. 

She’d never forget him dying. She’d already lost Cordelia the year before, and the emptiness in her soul was still a ragged, open wound. And then James had taken ill. He lay in the infirmary of the Institute, and Uncle Jem did everything he could to save him but they could only numb the pain. She had sat with her still youthful hand holding his wrinkled one, their mother holding his other on the opposite side of the bed. He had been so frail then, but still blazing with his playful exuberance until the very end. He died, surrounded by love. As Will had done.

And Jesse… Jesse’s death was still too much for her too think about

She’d watched the love of her life, the one she’d brought back to this life, grow old and fragile until he died peacefully in her arms. She’d watched as time took over his features in a way that it never did to hers, as he’d retired from battle due to the aching of bones that she never experienced, as he started to forget where he’d left his glasses, or that their children had left home years before, when she remembered everything so clearly. She never loved him any less. One cold, wintery morning, when frost dusted the grass and the robins wittered just outside the window, she awoke nestled into him, just as cold as the air outside, in their bed.

It was like someone cutting canvas with a knife, clean and vicious: there was life before Jesse, and there was life after.

It was all something of a blur, the week following his death. The funeral, the kind but distant words, the looks on their children’s faces. She understood, only then, why her mother had left for Paris after her father’s death. There was something so inherently wrong about being somewhere your love had once been, once sat, once ate, once laughed. She couldn’t even look at the face of her grandson, the one who had his eyes and his hair. She just had to leave.

So she did. She went, and she found her mother, and they lived together in New York.

She’d never aged a day past twenty, but that didn’t mean she would never die. She half-expected - half-hoped - to go to bed one day and never wake up. But everyday she saw the sun rise and heard the chirping of the pigeons and smelt that early morning New York river-water smell and watched the mundanes hurry down the streets on their way to work. She envied them. They were so secure in their knowledge of the word, wrapped up in their own little lives. She was so lost, an anchor cut free of its ship, sinking rapidly to the bottom of the pitch black ocean.

The rest of the 60’s passed like water through Lucie’s fingers. Tessa helped her through her grief, made sure she ate enough and drank enough and made her laugh even when she felt like her heart was being crushed into oblivion by grief’s unyielding fist. Her mother showed her New York, told her stories of the city she once knew and loved, and of how it had changed. Her mam had seen a great deal since Will’s death, Lucie realised, and a small fire of hope ignited itself in her chest. I will rebuild myself.

One day, a few years after Jesse, they sat in the booth of a small, dingy diner. They made idle conversation, people watching and giggling as they often did, until Tessa sat back against the red leather seat and stared thoughtfully into her coffee. Lucie recognised the twitch at the corner of her mouth, the one that meant she was trying to decide whether to say something or not.

“Mam, what are you thinking?” Lucie narrowed her eyes.

Tessa looked at her, her big blue eyes soft with love, and smiled a sad little smile. “I think you need to write again.”

Lucie was taken aback. Whatever she’d been expecting, it wasn’t that.

She thought of the only time she’d tried to write since Jesse. It was a dark night, not long after she arrived in America, and she was sitting at the small, ink-stained desk in their two bedroom apartment, fingers hovering over the keys of the familiar typewriter she’d brought with her from England. Writing had always been her reprieve, fiction her escape from the crushing reality of the real world, and she wanted nothing more than to escape then. But no words came to her. No stories weaved themselves together in her head. No heroine painting herself to life in metaphors and similes. There was simply…. nothing. 

Lucie tried to think of typing out a story, or writing another book, without having Jesse to read it over and give her critique or chastise her for saying ‘very’ one too many times. She tried to imagine writing for hours on end without having him bring her cups of tea just the way she liked or staying up, reading in the armchair next to her desk until well past midnight, just so they could go to bed together. She remembered the air leaving her lungs as a scream of anger - at the world, at Jesse for leaving her, at herself for still being alive - built within her, her mother running to restrain her as she viciously  punching the keys of the typewriter over and over again, her hands balled into fists and her nails piercing the skin of her palms. She had collapsed against Tessa, the livid energy suddenly leaving her, and they sank to the floor together. She cried into her mothers arms until she had no tears left, until the hazy relief of sleep took her in its grasp and showed her dreams far better than this life.

“No.” Her mouth was in a hard line. “No, I can’t.”

Tessa took Lucie’s hand across the table. Lucie met her eyes. There was such hope, such faith, such belief, in her gaze that Lucie’s mouth quirked up at the corner ever so slightly.

“Yes you can.”

And she did.

Lucie left New York - left her mother - as the new decade rolled in. She didn’t stay in one place: she followed her Daisy’s footsteps and went to all the places she’d once lived: Paris, Bombay, Morocco, Cape Town, Canada. All the while, she wrote. She wrote of the girl with fire for hair and more strength than anyone she’d ever known. She wrote of the boy with the sun in his eyes and the night sky on his head. She wrote of the boy who lived twice but loved once. She wrote of the boy with burnt clothes and lilac eyes. She wrote of the truest love she’d ever known, between a boy with a compass tattoo and a boy with spears in his pockets. She wrote of a blonde boy, the bloodied and battered angel. She wrote every story that lined her heart and her soul, and as the 70’s faded into the 80’s, she was thankful she had. Her mother had told her memories start to fade to black and white, like a forgotten photograph, when you live forever, but her words captured her memories forever in their original, colourful glory. 

She spoke to her mother as often as she could, and she always sent her postcards from her latest destination. Her mother would travel too, and she would keep Lucie up to date on the Downworld wherever she went. Lucie kept away from the Downworld, mostly. She had no interest in fighting any more, and the Clave seemed to have forgotten her existence, but she did carry a small axe in her bag at all times. Old habits die hard. 

At the start of the 90’s, she got word from Tessa about unrest surrounding the Accords.

I feel as though we are about to witness something terrible. She had written. Lucie, please stay as far away from Idris as you can. 

And she did.

It was a long few months before she heard from her mother again. She told her of the war, and the bloodshed, and the death. She told her of Stephen Herondale, their own flesh and blood, killing innocent Downworlders as if there were no demon blood in his lineage. Lucie had cried.

But life goes on, and it did. Lucie went back to London, for the first time. She walked passed the Institute that had once been her home, and the grand houses that had once belonged to her friends and family - now hotels or flats or just gone completely, as if they’d never stood at all. She took a trip to Devon to walk past Cirenworth Hall. She felt closer to Cordelia, in that moment, than she had in years, and the faded parabatai rune on her chest seemed to throb like the beating of a second heart.

In 1999, she went back to New York. She walked passed the Institute there too - although by chance this time - and caught sight of three people walking towards the entrance. There was an elegant woman with black hair down to her waist, just as her Aunt Cecily’s had been; a tall, burly man who’s stature painfully reminded her of Thomas; and a small baby, wriggling in his mother’s arms. He seemed to sense Lucie’s presence and twisted around to look at her. His eyes, his hair, his nose, even his tiny mouth…. he looked exactly like Alexander had, when he was a baby and she was just a girl. She tore her eyes away, the world a smudge of watercolour through her tears, and hurried on down the street.

More time passed. Lucie wrote another book, this one about a girl with long brown hair and sparkling grey eyes who would never die. She would live to see every sunrise, every sunset, every star in the night sky twinkle and die, everyone she ever loved go where she could not join them. But she could also read every book, and see every country, and learn every language she ever wanted to, and see every new wonder of the world. She could keep her loved ones with her and carry them wherever she went, both in her mind and captured in the battered old photographs that were her most prized possession.

2008. Lucie’s phone buzzed on the coffee table next to her. She was in Glasgow. The setting sun was casting long shadows across her little one bedroom flat as she had her head in a book, her newly cropped hair brushing against her chin. She’d spent quite a bit of time here: it felt like London, but not so much that it hurt her, just enough to feel like home. The historical buildings that were scattered around the city centre reminded her of herself, in a way. Their well-kept exteriors remained the same as they had been the hundred or so years ago when they were built, but their interiors were updated and changed over time, revealing new secrets or harbouring new treasures.

She picked up her pink mobile and looked at the text that flashed across the screen. Then, with the swiftness that a Shadowhunter can never quite lose, she jumped over the back of her sofa and darted into her bedroom. Hastily, she shoved some clothes into a backpack, grabbed her wallet and keys and ran out the door. She hurried through the streets, not paying attention to who or what she was bumping into, only focused on getting to the train station. She arrived, panting, paid for a ticket to London, and hopped on a train.

She kept reading the text over and over again. 

COME TO LONDON ASAP. MEET YOU AT EUSTON. MAM.

When the train finally arrived in London Euston station, Lucie was the first person off the train. She  stood on her tiptoes and looked around the crowded platform wildly, her short hair flying every which way. Finally, she spotted her. Her mother. She was standing near a wall at the edge of the platform, wearing a dark blue cardigan that was almost the colour of Will’s eyes, and scanning the crowd. She began shoving people aside, using knees and elbows as weapons, until she broke free of the tangle and ran towards her mother. 

When Tessa saw her daughter, an immense smile broke across her face, like the sun parting the clouds. Lucie flung herself into Tessa’s open arms, and they stood a second or two, just embracing. 

Lucie stepped back first, her concern painted plainly across her face. “What’s wrong, mam? Why did I need to hurry?”

Tessa was still beaming. “Actually… nothings wrong, bach.” She turned to face the man standing a little way from them, one Lucie hadn’t noticed before. “Somethings actually very right.”

Lucie narrowed her eyes and looked at the man. He was tall and thin, and his hair was straight and dark brown, almost black, with a single streak of silver at the front. Something about his kindly face, his dancing eyes, the small smile on his lips looked so… familiar. He almost looked like….

She took a step forward, her eyes widened in astonishment. “Uncle Jem?” She questioned softly.

Tessa was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, radiating with excitement. Lucie had never seen her mother like this, so full of life, not in the 71 years since Will’s death. She was gazing at Jem with complete adoration, and he was smiling at her with such gentleness that Lucie’s heart ached, with happiness for her mother but sorrow for herself. She missed love.

Jem looked at her, his brown eyes soft and happy. “Hello, Lucie.” He gave a small wave and put his hand out towards her, clearly inviting a handshake. 

But Lucie Blackthorn didn’t do handshakes. She covered the distance between them in two strides of her short legs and flung her arms around him: her head only reached his chin. He seemed taken aback, but hugged her tightly anyway. 

“Oh, Uncle Jem!” She squeezed him. “It’s been so long!”

He chuckled and stroked her hair. “I know. And yet, we three have barely aged a day.”

She stepped back, and took Tessa’s hand. “I don’t quite understand what’s going on, and I have so many questions. How did this happen? Once a Silent Brother, always a Silent Brother I thought, but is that not the case?” She looked at Jem. “When did you come back? Oh! I do hope you told me immediately, mam. This is a miracle after all, and you know how I hate to miss miracles.” She was talking so rapidly that her words seemed to be falling over one another. Jem was just nodding slightly, looking bemused, and Tessa was trying not to laugh.

“Come on,” Tessa gave Lucie’s hand a quick squeeze and took Jem’s with her other. “Let’s go get a coffee and I’ll explain properly.” 

As the trio began to make their way through the station, Tessa began to speak. “It is yet another story of Lightwoods and Herondales and Fairchilds…”

[kuro-ousama]

What do you think of Season 0 Yami vs DM Yami? Do you like one more? Like them in different ways? Like one’s role in the story better?

Oops, I'm so sorry... I wasn't online for these past days due to irl stuffs. Boy, you're in for a ride.

To answer this, I would assumed you were talking about their anime version and not the manga, so to be honest, I like DM version better, because Toei's anime only focused on the slice of life/ supernatural thing rather than plot progression, so there was no death-T, Shadi's game toned down, Bakura's boardgame was, um, well... Anyway, because the episodelistic (was that the word?) nature of ss0, Yami was more like a wraith that only appeared when Yugi's friends was in danger, rather than a foreshadow that he's an imprisoned spirit. 

I don’t get why people misinformed that “Yami Yugi was only an alter ego before Kazuki Takahashi decided to add Egyptian plot", and it annoyed me. The ancient plotline was already in planning, just probably in a different direction, but the intention of making Yami Yugi a ancient pharaoh was right there from the very start. This is a page from chapter 14, for example:

Here, what Shadi said was “まるで古代エジプトの王「フアラオ」の墓のようだ。。。！！！”, basic translation is “As if this is an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh's tomb”

The English translation cut out a couple of words, but eh, the foreshadow intention is still the same:

While SS0 had a different maze design, and Shadi had a different impression:

I mean Toei had a habit of adding filler and changing scenes (not that Gallop wasn't guilty of the same) but these little changes really made an impact on the storytelling. Compare it to DM version:

I mean, DM had loads of issues but at least they didn't butcher this foreshadow, thank goodness for that.

Like, I'm sure the author wanted you, the reader to connect these little dots and odds together before the big revelation:

“If Yugi and Yami are the same person, why is there two soul rooms?”

“One soul only have one soul room"

“But there are two soul room of two Yugis, because they are two completely different souls”

“If Yami Yugi is Yugi, his room must've been a darker version of Yugi's game room(if different personality counted as a different soul) , or he supposed to lurked in the shadow of Yugi's room (only one soul room per soul, established rule), but instead, it's a tomb/maze hybrid, with ancient designs that is unnatural for a simple modern alter ego”

“So, Yami Yugi came from ancient Egypt, not a dark personality that Yugi created on the spot when solving the puzzle"

Gallop's DM was more guilty of changing stuffs and filler arcs to add more duel in it, but Toei's series was specially guilty in taking stuffs out to add more comedy/slice of life fillers, examples are most of their anime: dragonball, sailormoon, one piece, saint seiya, must have been an 80-90 trend...

So when people said they liked ss0 Yami more and he should be that way in DM, and all of their reasoning was the same old “because he's a psycho murderer that burns people alive”.

And?

AND?

What else do you like about him? So you only liked ss0 for Yami’s memetic murderous status (Not to mention how terribly misinformed that was because there's only two chapter that involved fire out of 53 chapters of the first seven volumes, chemical explosion doesn’t count.)? Did you know Yami was only acting out on Yugi's anger? Did you know he didn't even aware he's a separate person? That's why he didn't react when Yugi got beat up, only when Yugi got angry at what ever villain of the week that he came out, like the Hulk. 

No, he also doesn't “protect" Yugi, he's Yugi's judgement stand-in, punish whomever hurt Yugi's friends, or himself, on Yugi's anger/ behave/ demand. Even in SS0, his attitude is soften over time, but it's not as apparent as the manga, due to them skipping or altering important arcs. 

Death T is an example, Yami's first character development, and the basis for Kaiba’s too, for that matter. When Yami's at the losing end, he was scared, he was lonely, and start distrusting himself, but the voices of encouragement from grandpa and Yugi's friends help him to continue the duel, to have trust, have faith, to believe.

The penalty games were supposed to make the victims reform, “you shouldn't do this anymore" kinda way, but it didn't work well with Kaiba, who had embraced Gozaburo’s teaching to heart. That's why Kaiba's chosen punishment was Mind Crush, to mend his own heart, and remember what he had discarded.

Yami Duelist Kingdom was “I want to save Grandpa, whatever it takes" (willing to sacrifice Kaiba in the process, aka what I coined the “Kiritsugu's ideals", means kill to save)

Yugi was “I want to save Grandpa, but I don't want someone else to die" (Unwillingness to let others die to complete his goal)

Their conflict of interest was suppose to be one of Yami's character development, and help him see beyond his choices, not just do or die. If Death-T and Bakura's game was about trust, then Duelist Kingdom was about trust and choices. Yami always believed he had no other options, so he had to do what he must. Yami didn't know that Mai would show up to repay Yugi’s star chips, so losing to Kaiba will be the end, and his grandpa would stay soulless for good, Yami  also didn't think about asking Yugi for his help against Pegasus, since the loser's soul would be imprisoned in a card, etc. If Yami was to look up, he'd had seen that he has options, not just one choice, but he didn't, that's why he had to learn it.

His fears kept him down, limited on what choice he can have, and in my headcanon, it's probably what made him sacrificed himself and seal himself in the puzzle, because he didn’t get to see any other options. DM anime did toned down a lot of Yami's character development, but well, at least it's better than what we got in SS0.

And so on so forth...

If you only have to compare the two anime, I like DM Yami better, ss0 is just a loose adaption that doesn't truly explore Yami's characterisation, or anyone else, really, for that matter. SS0 is entertaining to watch, if you need some slice of life/ supernatural/ monster of the week type of show, but characterisation wise, it's not good.

“Yeah but in SS0 Yami murdered people left and right, he's so evil I love it" 

[corvidshipping]

modern au red/milo dump while i try to get myself together to answer asks nd work on ATJ:

(tw for alcohol mentions near the end, also this is an EXTREMELY long post, its so long that even after i split it into categorized sections each section could be its own post)

CLOTHING

milo absolutely has no sense of fashion. i feel like this is basically canon - for the styles at the time, he dresses fairly basic, mostly focused on looking put together for his job (definitely dresses aimed more towards how he would like to be treated by his peers, despite his actual position - then again our best example outside of the expedition is when he's about to deliver what he considers the most important presentation of his life, so who knows, maybe he usually dresses like a slob). aside from that his main concern seems like practicality and comfort. his wardrobe is dominated by earth tones - beiges and greens set with white and greys. all of that taken into account, i can see him dressing like this in a more modern era:

basically- a lot of cardigans, usually collared shirts or comfortable turtlenecks (since he does still occupy a research position at the smithsonian, even if only in title), big ol' coats, khakis and chinos and slightly stiff dress pants complete with ironed creases. i can see him wearing similar clothes outside work, just more comfortable - jeans and knitted shirts, henleys, more turtlenecks, and comfy cardigans over short sleeved shirts. i dont really see him wearing a lot of prints, i think he'd veer more towards solid clothes in lighter colors, but maybe he has a few. hes definitely the kind of guy to think of wearing the single graphic tee he owns as "bold and wild".

im very married to the idea of him wearing converse though. i cant explain it. milo in converse keeps me going in this world

hes kind of broke so i think maybe he got the converse secondhand maybe? or a gift of some kind. aside from the converse i can see him wearing a lot of oxfords and maybe wingtips

i want to see him in a hawaiian shirt so bad. i am losing it at this thought. he buttons it all the way up to his neck like someones awkward dad. milo wears a hawaiian shirt to "let loose". he wears it with like, khakis. or knee length jorts AHHHHDJHDSGJHDSJGh

a tie??? does he wear his hawaiian shirt with a tie???? does he think it makes it look cooler?????????? i am sobbing

red is the COMPLETE opposite. in the canon 1914 setting, red is already very rebellious for an AFAB person of their era- theyre openly a suffragette, they frequently refuse to wear skirts even in public and dress in mens clothes even before they were openly nonbinary, despite not being accepted into the male-dominated research fields and colleges they continue to educate themself with or without help, they purposely aim for an "unfeminine" silhouette when they dress, refuse to wear corsets, etc. (spoiler alert- there's a clear reason they get on so well with audrey in ATJ)

theyre also easily mistaken by people that didnt know them prior to their transition for being just a very small/young cis man- even though they canonically have a very soft "traditionally feminine" face

so basically, in any era theyre set into, red is always gonna aim to be ahead of the curve- both in their personal beliefs and practices and in their fashion. theyre also very androgynous in their clothes, although they tend to aim a bit more masculine (thats partially due to the era though, and having been forced into skirts exclusively for their entire life- i think in a modern setting where its more acceptable for AFABs to dress and act in a less hyperfeminine way, theyd be more okay with a fluidity in their gender presentation).

all that taken into account, i can see them dressing like this:

lots of baggy clothes, especially baggy jackets and shirts. they like loose fitting high waisted pants like JNCO jeans, cargo pants, etc but they arent averse to pencil legs. they rarely ever wear skinny jeans or drainpipes though. messy hair is a lifestyle for them- their haircut is definitely home-done

you know how in BICSTLY they used to have really long hair before they cut it? in a modern au i can see them impulsively doing the cut at like 3am and waking milo up at his door cause they screwed it up and he ends up having to help fix it (even though hes literally no better at cutting hair than them. worse even)

definitely have an undercut bob- bob on top, shaven on the bottom layer. they might end up growing their hair into a mullet at some point if they get bored. probably dyes their hair all the time out of boredom and then regrets it later and has to use dye remover.

lots of ripped tights and fishnets, leggings with big loose crop tops, big hoodies, safety pin jewelry and homemade jewelry. maybe some sticknpokes.

all that said, they still know how to dress in a professional situation. since its a modern au theres really nothing holding them back from the education and career they canonically want but cant get in the 1910s, so i imagine they would work at the smithsonian as well, maybe their father helped them get the job? potentially in that case they might be his assistant- after all, he trusts their opinion on artifacts more than anyone else's.

at work you can still very much see the punk/skater/grunge/goth style but its more understated- turtlenecks, high waisted and looser dress pants, lots of black, slightly unbuttoned collared shirts with a loose overcoat and no tie

since i elaborated on milos shoe taste i may as well elaborate on red's: they definitely wear converse as well, probably newer than milo's since their father is fairly wealthy and they can afford it. they also have a doc martens collection. they have a pair of demonias but they never wear them and milo is really the only person to even know they own them, let alone see them in them. they really dont like to wear heels much, but they own a few just to play around with. they have a bad habit of wearing any laced shoes untied, but they never trip over the laces. they also use lace code- their most-worn Docs have purple laces on the right foot and yellow on the left. some of their Docs have (reclaimed) pink laces.

has an extensive pin collection including feminism pins, anti-racism pins, punk-related pins, skater-related pins, and pop culture pins (80s music, modern music, old movies, etc)

MUSIC TASTE

milo's into a lot of older music- stuff from the 50s is his favorite. really into jazz and ballroom style stuff. his favorite band is queen, i think- he likes the old-fashioned sound, the jazz-chamber-ballroom influences, the diversity of their lyrics, and the complexity between the guitar riffs, the basslines, and freddie's vocal runs as well as the vocal harmonies.

sometimes he hums good old fashioned lover boy to red and they two-step in the living room in their pajamas :pleading:

also very into rush. yes, he is a rush guy :pensive:.

also listens to a surprising amount of lo-fi? he really likes stuff that remixes older music with hip hop and lofi elements, like earl grey. nearly exclusively into instrumental stuff but also very into louie zong. he listens to it while he works a lot.

knows a lotttt of foreign artists, especially niche ones. fuckin LOVES casiopea

red's spotify is a goddamn mess. everything from 2000s emo, to classic 70s punk, to post-punk and new wave, to 90s pop, to rap. they cant be easily classified at all

their favorite bands are oingo boingo, prince, queen (they listen to a lot of their harder-rock music, but milo knows theyre into the ballads too. theyll never tell anyone else though), doja cat, lil nas, fall out boy, and billie eilish.

red recites the intro monologue to lets go crazy very seriously to make milo laugh, sometimes. they get very into it with their facial expressions. sometimes it devolves into a full air guitar/keyboard/drum and wild dancing session. milo does not know how to participate in this but he loves watching them have fun with it. sometimes they pull him off the couch to make him dance with them, though

they are a huge sucker for dark pop, vaporwave, retrowave, EDM, hip hop, emo, punk... etc etc. anything that combines any two or more of those genres in an original or interesting way gets their attention right away

there's a lot of sharing between the two of them- even though their music tastes are so different, they like a lot of the others taste, and theyre always up to listen to whatever their partner is playing.

red is a huge softie, and milo has found them more than once listening to or humming something he was playing for them the other day because it reminded them of him

speaking of which- in the 1914 canon, red can play piano. i think that carries over to a modern au, where they could play piano and by extension keyboard. i like to think they experiment with a lot of instruments but i doubt they ever really mastered any others. maybe theyre okay at drums or bass?

they learned to play and sing teo torriatte for milo, as a surprise. when they first performed it for them, they had everything set up for when he got home from work- the lights were dimmed, they had candles lit around the keyboard, they draped stuff in cloth to make it look pretty, they scattered flower petals around. when milo walked in and saw it all, he almost proposed then and there- the only thing that stopped him was that he would kick himself for the rest of his life if he did that without a ring.

HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES

milo is still an avid chess player in this, but i like to think hes in some kind of groupchat or text or discord server for it. he doesnt necessarily consider any of the others in the chat close friends, but he does know them all by name

he tries to get red into chess but they never really get it

he tells them all about the stuff that goes down in the games and they just. do not understand. but they love listening to him get excited about it anyway

"red you're not gonna BELIEVE this, eddie played an italian game on star today! i thought for sure she would see through it since everyone knows it but she slipped and he beat her in like, 13 moves! i wouldnt have believed it if i hadnt been there!"

"yes sweetie please tell me more" (barely disguised pained expression)

red is a skater and a regular at the skate park by the smithsonian

most regulars there know them by name, they can spot a newbie a mile away

they have a sticker of a broken tv with a skull inside of it on the underside of their board, its become recognized as a symbol of them unofficially

since theyre so regular and have been going there a lot longer than most of the other skaters that frequent the place, a lot of what they say is kind of just accepted as the rules

they have a bad habit of lecturing new kids who show up without knee/elbow pads or helmets at the very least. all the other skaters enforce it too. kids dont end up showing up without protective gear very often after their first visit

they brought a first aid kid and left it there and everyone has kept it stocked pretty well without them having to have much input. its kind of just a communal first aid kit

they once drew the broken tv symbol on the inside of a half-pipe and everyone started calling it red's ramp after that

they also started calling the bowl at the center of the park the Soup Bowl and now thats just accepted as the name. some of the newer kids genuinely thought that it was called that by the park and were shocked when they found out it was just a random nickname red gave it one day

theyve brought milo a few times but hes extremely awkward on his feet and could never really get his balance on a skateboard, and quite frankly red is afraid of what might happen if he tried even a low ramp, so he usually just sits at the rim of the bowl while red skates around

everyone knew he was their boyfriend before they even met him. a few of the regulars called him by name right away. one of them was certain red had brought him before.

but no

they just talk so fuckin much about him that its like they already know him

aside from skateboarding, red is pretty good on rollerskates/blades

they tried to take milo to a roller rink once but it was a disaster and they ended up going home, changing into pajamas, ordering chinese food, and marathoning movies till they fell asleep on the couch together. so not a total loss

theyre both very into movies. red is deep into horror and milo likes indie/art movies and just Cannot handle horror at all, but they both agree on old movies, from the 80s and 90s to like the 30s.

red has shown milo some of the classic horror movies and the niche old ones (from like the 40s) since theyre not difficult to stomach

every so often when red brings up wanting to see a horror movie milo is like "aw babe we can watch that tonight i promise it wont be bad" and he genuinely thinks he can handle it this time

he cant

he never can

it is always a lie

red ends up holding him every time and talking him to sleep, but it thankfully never causes like a major panic attack or anything like that

they love going to museums together, of all kinds. they love art museums. they also go to aquariums and aviaries

sometimes they like to go to other history museums and criticise the veracity or accuracy of exhibits/translations, all in good fun of course. theyre never actually being mean about it

SIDENOTES/UNCATEGORIZED

they both used to work at starbucks, when they were younger and before they worked at the smithsonian. they worked at separate stores 2 blocks from each other.

milo cant stand soda or carbonated drinks, red can and will chug a java monster in order to survive a long workday if they must. milo is constantly concerned for their health and wellbeing

they r both lightweights when it comes to drinking. they can split a six pack and both be falling-over drunk by the end of the night.

given the changes in beauty standards people DEFINITELY think milo is more attractive than they would in 1914. cmon. hes a lil twinky nerd. you think people wont eat that up?

he never really catches onto the flirting much though

did u think i would forget ki/da and the others? youd be wrong.

i simultaneously like the idea of something similar to the movie happening, but also just like... ki/da just being a regular person living on the surface. in either case they r all friends still

in the case of ki/da just being a regular person on the surface- i like the idea of atl/antis just being A Place in this au, maybe its a bit of a closed off country though? like, not many foreigners live there and to get there you basically need to be there as a diplomat or a scholar

maybe ki/da visits DC as a diplomat? she is a princess, after all

red meets audrey online cause they both yell at the same misogynistic asshole on twitter

they exchange discord names in the replies of the tweet and tell the guy not to interrupt them while theyre talking in his replies

i like to think red and milo are selected to go on an academic visit to atl/antis (to learn about the culture, with permission of the king), and audrey ends up as the mechanic on the ship during the visit and theyre like (spiderman pointing meme) at each other

red and audrey have so many inside jokes that they basically speak a different language. milo gets some of the terms from context and pop culture (they use "so very" in real life- as in "wow, that shirt is so very.") but he is hopeless to learn all of it

one of their inside jokes is any variation of "milo hot girl summer" and they REFUSE to explain it to him no matter how much he begs

milo wears that iconique tank top on the ship and they say it literally any time he bends over, picks anything up, reaches for anything, moves, BREATHES. he is bewildered and at this point concerned

(in truth, the joke came from red taking a really blurry picture of him in a short sleeve shirt where he looked pretty cute and captioned it "milo's having a hot girl summer rn" and they just could not stop repeating it once audrey met him IRL)

they have a minecraft world. i do like to believe that every so often vinny finds a way in- theyre never sure how- and griefs the shit out of them by blowing up EVERY. monument.

this post is getting long bc im enraptured by the idea of an atl/antis modern au so im cutting it off here but expect WAY MORE later

[uta-h3m-vcd-tbw]

Who Am I?

I have attempted to dialogue the events in my life at least 100 times beforehand but probably more but could never bring myself to be completely honest.  Call this a personal inventory if you will.  I consider myself a better writer than most however when it comes to writing about myself my brain goes blank.  I know what I want to say, it’s just how do you go about telling anyone....”I am a Heroin addict.”  

I have read a couple books about other addicts & have watched countless documentaries, movies, & shows about addiction.  Always paying close attention to how the writer unfolds his/her story trying to translate it to my own with little success.  I eventually came to the conclusion that so much has happened in the two decades of drug use that there is no way fathomable to include everything...at least not in your standard literary fashion.  

A few days ago I stumbled across a new series on Netflix about a girl that liked to blog on Tumblr & suddenly I felt I may have an outlet to format this timeline of events.  Make no mistake about this...everything I write from this moment on is 100% true whether you choose to believe it or not.  Hell looking back....I don’t believe it sometimes & constantly find myself asking God why am I still here & why have so many perished before/besides me?  What makes me so special?

Most stories I read/watch about addiction are pretty generic.  It typically starts with someone who was injured & prescribed pain killers only to get cut off from the doctor & led down the dark & endless path of Heroin addiction.  They tell stories about the terrible things they did to maintain their habit & of loved ones they hurt along the way.  While I did horrible things as well, hurt & lost too many loved ones to addiction...this story is unlike any of the rest.  This is a story of addiction...obviously...but also one of organized crime, corruption, murder, extortion, jail/institutions, & love but mostly death.  

Every addiction specialist or rehab I have been to always had the same fault....they try to find some underlying reason as to why I started, “self medicating,” & attempt to address it.  I’ve had numerous heated arguments with councilors & doctors who insisted I was suppressing something deep down & may not even know it!  While I have heard of such instances to actually be the case I can very well tell you I am as normal as you are.  

I grew up in a child’s utopia in an upper-middle class suburb roughly 20 miles North of Detroit.  Think of the famous Tim Allen show, “Home Improvement.” Not only was I raised in Metro Detroit but I also come from a family of two parents, still married, & was the youngest of three boys.  I know most people’s perception of Detroit isn’t very high however in the 80′s & 90′s it was a great place to start a family.  Before the auto industry tanked most people skipped college to work on the assembly line at one of the, “Big Three,” (Ford, GM, or Chrysler) & lived comfortably.  My dad was a, “Safety Restraint Engineer,” for a subsidiary company with several patents still in use today!  We spent our days riding bikes through endless trails behind our house, building forts, playing back yard football, & camping in the backyard on warm summer nights.  My brothers & I were raised Catholic.  Went to Church every Sunday & Catechism on Thursday nights.  If I could change one thing about my childhood I wouldn’t.  It was that perfect!  My Father didn’t fail to raise a man...I failed to be the man he raised. 

When someone asks me why I started doing drugs I tell them because it was fun....simple as that.  I know it sounds cliche but it’s true, everyone was doing them.  My older brothers were way ahead of me, listening to Grateful Dead & dropping acid in middle school!  I just liked drugs a lot more than everyone else. My mother knew I had an addictive personality because I would take everything I did to the max & always looked for instant gratification.  I never wanted to wait/work for anything.  I think my brothers were aware of this as well because they would NEVER sell me pot in these early days.  They wouldn’t even talk to me about it.  So as far as being as normal as everyone else....maybe that one’s a stretch.  On the other hand I was years ahead of my classmates & understood how things worked much easier than the majority of my class.  

By the time I reached High School I was selling/smoking pot & hanging out with kids my age but it wasn’t long before I caught the attention of the older guys in the neighborhood.  I had already garnished a somewhat questionable reputation through my brothers by default & everyone knew my name from the paper route I had since I was roughly 12 years old.  At first they were intimidating & I hated whenever I had to deliver papers on one of their streets...praying they wouldn’t be outside playing basketball or something.  They always hung around the same two or three houses depending on who’s parents weren’t home that day.  If they saw me coming every one of them would stop what they were doing & aim their attention towards me.  All of them except one.  I knew his face & heard stories whispered about him in the hallways at school.  His name was Franco & he was not just the leader of their group...he was, “Head Fucking Hancho.”  You know the scene from mob movies where people from the neighborhood come to sit with the boss & ask him all kinds of favors in return for their loyalty?  That was Franco at age 15!  He had everyone’s respect....even that of my older brothers who looked up to nobody.  If you had a disagreement with Franco it didn’t go far.  I’ve seen him hit guys so hard they temporarily lost the ability to speak!  After a couple minutes of hazing from the guys he would shout from the porch telling them to leave me alone & they would scatter like roaches! 

These encounters would eventually lead up to my first drug deal.  Up until that point I had been stealing whatever I could from whichever brother wouldn’t notice at the time & smoking/selling it with & to my friends.  They eventually caught me & beat the living shit out of me.  I don’t think they were actually mad about the missing weed it was more about not stealing from your brother.  The same day I was caught stealing weed I planned on meeting several kids from school at a friends house & of course everyone was expecting me to bring the pot.  To this day I don’t know how I got the phone number or the guts to call it but I reached out to Franco’s best friend Mark.  I don’t really no why I chose him....any of the older guys could have found me weed.....but I knew Mark sold it regularly & to pretty much anyone.  There was no cell phones at this time so I had to call his house.  He wasn’t as angry as I expected & told me to wait 5 minutes before riding my bike towards his side of the neighborhood.  I did exactly as he instructed me to & before I could get to the end of my street he was pulling up in a dark green Ford Ranger...Frank was with him riding in the passenger seat.  Mark got out...threw my bike in the back of his truck telling me to hop in the backseat before getting back behind the wheel & pealing off.  The music was so loud I could barely understand the lyrics over the bass let alone what Frank & Mark were saying but it didn’t matter because they weren’t talking to me.  At the time I thought Mark must want to get out of the neighborhood before doing the deal but after getting to know him I learned...that was his, “thing”.  He loved to drive around, blaring music, & smoking weed with whoever was willing to tag along.  He hated driving alone & his truck was like his office.  Frank acted as if I wasn’t even there...holding a cool composure looking out the window while nodding his head to the music.  Eventually we pulled down a random street, where Mark turned down the music before pulling the truck over.  He turned around & asked me how much money I wanted to spend before opening a large grocery bag filled to the top with little, “dime bags,” or roughly a large gram of weed in each bag.  I don’t know if it was how he had them bagged up but it was more than I had ever seen in one place at the time & my brothers always had a lot.  I had a handful of crinkled five′s & one dollar bills I collected from my friends earlier in the day at school.  It came out to around $24.  I remember it was less than $25 because Mark insisted that an 8th cost $25 & that I was a dollar short.  I didn’t even know what an 8th was or how much it cost but didn't want to screw up my first deal so I pretended it was just an honest mistake & he threw three bags in my lap.  Franco asked where I was going & asked if I needed a ride which I humbly excepted.  

From that day on things changed little by little with every passing day.  I hung out less & less with the kids my age to be around Mark, Frank & the rest of the older guys.  They saw me as the kid who could sell a lot of weed since I already had that reputation from my classmates.  I saw them as a ticket to popularity.  In my mind it was an even trade.  My mother had an entirely different opinion.....constantly telling me I should be hanging around with my younger friends.  To me it was harmless....choosing to see it as normal for a kid my age.  I had no idea where this new found friendship would lead us.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  

As I was saying before....so much has happened since this day that I cannot even begin to piece it all together in a manner in which it flows conveniently into a timeline of events.  This is the beginning of my attempt & you will have to stick with me to learn more as I continue to publish.  I will warn you upfront that I will be changing some names, maybe even places or be vague as I am still getting death threats to this day & also don’t want to negatively impact any of the families that have already been ripped apart from unimaginable losses.  Lastly I am still weary about telling my story in it’s entirety.  I am sure those who are close to me will be able to figure out who I am since most of what I am going to tell you has never been a secret save one part.  I have never told ANYONE the FULL story other than my parents.  I feel it is the main reason I have struggled in all my attempts at telling/writing what actually happened.  Please understand that I take absolutely NO pride in the things I have done & only feel I need to document what I went through so maybe the next kid contemplating the path I chose....will rethink the decision.  I can tell you now their is no glory or honor in what we did & the end result was nothing but pain & suffering for our victims as well as ourselves.  I really hope nobody reads this the wrong way & that I am able to accurately portray the pain/anguish we caused so they realize how brainwashed we were & the impact you can have on others no matter how minor you think it is.  You have to stand up against what may seem to be the correct/hard decision at the time or even a harmless one that you know in your heart/gut is questionable & choose to do what you know to be right.  The definition of the word, “popular,” is; liked, admired, or enjoyed by many people or by a particular person or group.  The groups that are using/selling drugs are the minority & in the end you will find most are not truly your friend.  When I go on social media, looking back at all the kids I graduated with, I realize now that those who did well in school & actively participated were actually the, “cool kids.”  They are the ones posting pictures of new houses, nice cars & beautiful wives with blossoming families.  There is nothing cool about being alone & having nothing to show for the last two decades of your life but scars.  It is not romantic in any way shape or form.  You will not find comfort.  

Stay tuned for more to come! 

[oncexinxmyxdreams]

OC Profile Laurie Venkman as an adult (The Real Ghostbusters.)

OC

Bio

Name: Laurie Macy Venkman. 

Age: 25. (as of the February 2009, approaching the 25th Anniversary since Ghostbusters was founded.) 

Ethnicity: Caucasian with family roots running in Irish, Welsh, Dutch,  French, English and German. 

Species: Human. 

Height: 5'7".

Weight: 155 pounds.

Hair color: Dark brown.  

Hair style: Thick, shaggy hair falls a little past her shoulders. She has layers with wispy bangs. Keeps hair pulled into a ponytail for work and loves to style it for special occasions.  

Eye color: Deep cornflower blue. 

Birthday: September 13th, 1983. 

Gender: Female. 

Sexual Orientation: Straight. She’s guy crazy, but she’s waiting for the right one. 

Powers (if any): No.  

Distinguishing features (if any): Has a turned up nose like Peter's. Has defined cupid bow lips like her mom, but Peter's smile. Has mom’s round shape of face. Laurie has two tattoos out of memory/respect for her parents. One on her left outer bicep that says “Proton Princess” in Peter’s handwriting. Second one is at the lower, inner right arm of a heart with her mom’s initials inside. 

Blood Type: A-

Clothing

Day to day outfit: When she’s off-duty, Laurie prefers straight leg jeans for most of her attire. She likes blouses and simple tees: those are usually graphic like rock bands, Ghostbusters merchandise or even raglan tees. She has some favorites that have sarcastic sayings and one that says “I got it from Dad.” She has cool calf boots, cute deck shoes and classic hightop converses.    

Pajamas/What they wear to bed: Favorite pajamas are comfy black leggings and a black nightshirt. (It has a cat on it and says "to-do list: sleep."

Formal Clothes: Chic dresses in 80s-90s style. She loves the velvet/metallic fabrics for these and wearing black stylish pumps.  

Work/School uniform: Work attire is a black jumpsuit with dark purple trim. She prefers those colors to help her blend in more with the shadows when she hunts. She does have doc martin’s for her boots, but she prefers wearing her converses since they’re more flexible for running. She has extra pockets inside her jumpsuit for trinkets like a nail file to pick locks etc.   

Other (glasses, jewelry, etc): Has a black square digital watch. Wears a silver brushed metal ring that was a gift to her from a ghost she helped as one of her first solo missions. (She wears it on her right middle finger which symbolizes responsibility and balance.) She has four ear piercings: three normal lobe piercings and then industrial ones in the upper ear cartilage. While she has plenty earrings to choose, her favorite earrings are three simple gold hoops and industrial earrings are silver barbells with “diamond” studs. Loves having painted fingernails; usually in different purple shades.   

Health

Physical Illnesses: Overcame pneumonia at the age of 3. Suffers from hay fever like Peter. Now gets strong cases of flu when sick, but otherwise she's fine.

Mental Illnesses or disorders: She’s been guessed to have a learning disorder, but still no official diagnosis. Some have guessed ADD and Dyscalculia.

Medications?: Just regular vitamins.

Addictions (Drugs, alcohol?): No addictions. She likes to drink, her favorite cocktail being a White Russian, but she's careful. She’s never tried drugs. 

General Health: Fine enough considering that she works out every day, but she's got a big appetite. Being an inverted triangle body type, she carries weight in upper half: Measurements are 40-30-38. Her legs are the most toned part of her body, strong arms, broad shoulders and a size 12, but looks for bigger size shirts since she’s top heavy. Happy with her shape.   

Life/Preferences:

Likes: Fashion, sleeping, eating, cars, and motorcycles. She loves listening to her favorite music while mouthing the lyrics and dancing.     

Dislikes: Criminals, yogurt (that isn’t soft serve or frozen) and people doubting her since she’s not a college graduate. The one thing she despises the most is inaccuracy about The Ghostbusters. (She really hates the sequel they made.) 

Career: Becomes a Ghostbuster and runs the business. 

Hobbies/Talents: Hobby of making a bucket list, motorcycle riding and electric guitar. (Guitar was her mom’s.)  Terrific hand-eye coordination so that she rarely misses a target with archery at camp, ghostbusting and when she played baseball in high school as pitcher. It did take a lot of practicing though.   

Habits (good or bad): Chews on toothpicks or sucker sticks (similar to when she'd chew her pacifier as a toddler.)

Family: Mom is Claire Teague who passed away when she was 16 months old. Though she’s been long gone, Laurie keeps her memory alive.  Dad is, the one and only, Dr. Peter Venkman: Laurie's role model. On maternal side, Arnold and Ruth Teague are her grandparents and Aunt Caroline. By now, her grandparents have passed and Caroline lives out of the USA. Paternal side has her grandfather, Jim Venkman, but he's dragged Laurie into cons and she's fed up with him. She met her great uncle Alf once, but didn't like him that well. She's curious of her deceased grandma Lydia Venkman.

Friends: First best friends are from elementary school: Lindsay McKellips and Leslie Cantu. They call themselves “The L Girls.” Lindsay goes onto serve in the Air Force and Leslie becomes a teacher overseas. Close guy friends are family members of the Ghostbusters. Derek Lovejoy who's the son of Ray's cousin Sam. He's 20 and is training to be a veterinarian. Craig Reynolds who's one of Winston's nephews. Craig is 32 and a civil engineer who keeps an eye on Laurie when necessary. Ross Melnitz who's Janine's youngest nephew. He's 23 and does secretarial work for Ghostbusters while being in the field when required. Laurie considers him her closest friend since he knows all her ups and downs best. (Ross's original last name was Irwin until his parents divorced and he legally changed to his mom's maiden name as she did.)

Romantic/Love Interest(s): Had some boyfriends, but she’s not in a hurry for marriage and not ready to lose her virginity. (She went through a relationship where she almost did, but left the guy when she realized he was toxic.) She enjoys being single while still being flirty. She had one boyfriend that cheated with a girl who turned out to be Ross’s girlfriend and Laurie was furious with both of them. She doesn’t know it, but she and Ross will fall in love one day. So one day, she’ll be Laurie Melnitz.  

Pets: Her cat Punxsutawney or usually called Punx for short. He was a present for Laurie when she was 10 and they have a tight bond. He’s revealed later to be a Class 4 shapeshifter, but isn’t disposed. For one, he imprinted on Laurie the one time she was at the animal shelter though she wasn't aware of it. Secondly, he’s not found to be a threat. Finally, he prefers to stay in his cat form which is an Abyssinian breed. He’ll only change if he finds Laurie in danger. During a presentation at a convention, he transformed into a terror dog.      

Social Status: The only social status that matters to Laurie is that she’s Peter Venkman’s daughter. She doesn’t feel like she’s in his or the other Ghostbusters shadow. She’s not bothered if people say “Oh you’re that one ghostbuster’s kid” etc. because she’s proud of her dad.   

Favorite Food: New York Reuben Sandwiches (add barbecue potato chips, some grapes, a pickle, two vanilla Hostess zingers along with cherry coke and there’s her ideal lunch.) She loves other foods as well which is a contrast to the picky eater she was as a child.  

Favorite Color: Tie between purple and black.  

Favorite genre of music: 80′s Rock/New Wave like Journey and Duran Duran. Her ipod nano is just a huge playlist of 80s classics.     

Favorite movie genre: Fantasies. She grew up loving the scary 80s kid movies. Her favorite movie is The Secret of Nihm. 

Favorite Animal: Now its cats, but still has soft spots for sea lions and rabbits. 

Degree of Education: High school graduate. Her grades weren’t high enough to get her into college. (She feels a bit ashamed about it though Peter’s proud of her for overcoming her difficulties with school.)  

What language(s) can they speak?: Besides English, she has rudimentary skill in French and Latin which she learned after becoming a ghostbuster. Usually calls on Egon for languages she can’t understand. 

Can they cook?: She can cook and she can eat! 

Personality:

Positive Traits: Loyal, witty, fun-loving, resourceful, and affectionate. 

Negative Traits: Defiant, impulsive, cocky, impatient and has a foul mouth. 

Archetype: The Warrior (Merida from Brave or Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games.)  

Way they interact with others: Depends on who’s talking to her. She’s friendly to those she cares for even with her sarcasm, but if someone’s insulting, she’ll be blunt and rude right back. 

Way of speaking: Okay just like before, voice inspiration. Lilliana Mumy. When she’s not voicing Leni from The Loud House, she has great acting range of sweet, serious and sarcastic.   

Introvert or Extrovert?: Became more extroverted as she grew up and a little bit of an adrenaline junkie. She’s an ESTP...like her dad. 

Backstory Life 

Laurie was a true surprise since Claire, her mom, was told she'd never have children due to PCOS. However, the surprise was joyful and Claire loved her daughter more than anything. After Claire’s death, Laurie stayed with her grandparents, but eventually met Peter. As conflicted as he was with realizing he was a father, Laurie grew easily attached to him and he grew to love her as if he’d been there since her birth. After her grandma passed away. Laurie would be dropped off at the firehouse for days or weeks to the point she wanted to stay there. Peter and the Ghostbusters wanted her to, but she was under custody of her grandparents. Arnold despised Peter and refused to give up custody for Laurie’s wellbeing even though he didn’t care for her. (Winston predicted pride would be that man’s downfall if he wasn’t careful.)  There was even a point where Arnold only fed her yogurt which she grows to hate. At age 3, Laurie becomes critically ill with pneumonia due to her grandfather’s negligence (Its revealed he died from alcoholism and died in his house while Laurie was sick in her room.) Peter was in tears at the thought of losing her, especially since his own mother died from the same illness. When she’s cured, Laurie is finally allowed to live with Peter, which was what she hoped for. As she grows, she becomes more confident and less introverted by the time she’s a teen.    

Life Goals 

Laurie has one particular goal as an adult. That is to find the one who killed her mom. Since Claire died in the mid 80′s, DNA evidence was still in its infancy and the case was closed. However, Laurie isn’t a quitter until all options are futile. Its not just her mom’s case because Laurie has encountered ghosts of people who were killed, even children, and she can’t stand a criminal being free. Her first Ghostbusting mission was capturing and eventually helping a ghost who was murdered. So he’s the one who gave her the silver ring which she keeps as a promise to never forget those who died too soon.    

[imsafiyacharles]

ALABAMA’S AGING BLACK FARMERS UNCERTAIN ABOUT FUTURE AS THEY STRUGGLE TO CREATE LINES OF SUCCESSION

Billy Gibbons intends to die on this land.  

At 70, the bespectacled Black farmer may very well be the last heir to work the family plot; 80  acres of black soil in Browntown, Alabama, an unincorporated community less than 20 miles  north of Prattville. 

Gibbons’ parents pinched and scraped to purchase the acreage for $850 in 1940. They intended  to pass it down to him and his brother; but he died in 1976 after contracting meningitis while  away at military training in Fort Polk, Louisiana. 

“I can remember all of this was woods,” Gibbons said, waving his arm over the crop land that  extended before him. It was a brooding morning that had already spilled rain and left his feet  besieged by shallow pools of muddy water. 

The old farmer wore a faded army jacket and dark cap with worn blue jeans;  occasionally pulling his face mask to the side to expel a portion of the chewing tobacco  occupying his right cheek, before apologizing for the habit. 

“As far as you can see to woods was woods,” he spat.  

The forest was so dense, and the family’s resources so limited, they worked only five acres of  farmland to start. 

“My Daddy, he done all the cleaning with a mule, a ax and a shovel,” said Gibbons.  

They farmed row crops — collards, turnips, mustard greens — and bought a couple head of  cattle. Gibbons had trees pushed off with bulldozers through the years. He now owns about 50  head, which he spreads across the family land and some 170 acres he rents just a mile up the  road. 

With the help of his wife, he hauls most of his vegetables weekly at the Curb Market downtown  where in 1999, he became its first African American vendor. He would serve as president for nine years.

“This is a tradition here, and it’s still standing,” he said.  

But for how long? 

Like so many of the nation’s Black farmers, mostly clustered in the South, the future remains  uncertain. 

In 1920, African Americans accounted for 14% of all U.S. farm operators. That number has  since dwindled to a staggering 1.4% percent. Alabama, the third most populous state for Black  producers, sits at 6%, according to 2017’s agriculture census.

At the turn of the 20th century, Black landowners held 15 million acres. Today, they own 3.4  million, about half a percent of American farmland.  

Black farmers have faced discrimination at every level, struggling against social and financial  barriers to achieve land ownership and the right to operate their farms independently within an  agricultural economy that has long profited from the exploitation of their labor through slavery,  sharecropping and legal loopholes. 

Over decades, many southern Black families lost land due violent intimidation, deceit and  financial hardship. Farmers who sought loans from government agencies to keep their properties  running in lean times or make needed improvements were denied, shortchanged or failed to  receive timely assistance. (The United States Department of Agriculture settled in 1999 the class  action lawsuit Pigford v. Glickman brought by Black farmers alleging more than two decades of  lending discrimination.)  

While the latest agriculture census reported a 5% increase in Black producers between 2012 and  2017 after revisions to its data collection, there was also a 3% decline in Black operated farms.  

“What I hope we don't see is the eventual extinction of the Black farmer,” said Brennan  Washington. He works with limited resource farmers across the South as a Sustainable  Agriculture Research and Education (SARE) liaison at Fort Valley State, a historically Black  land grant college in Georgia. 

In the past, Washington said, a Black farmer with a large acreage may have applied for a USDA  loan to purchase seed, among other necessities, and would find their application lagging. 

“[USDA] would process the paperwork too late for them to get their seed on time. So, they get  their seed in the ground too late, they don’t get a crop, meanwhile they’ve got a lien on that  property that USDA will seize if they can’t get it paid,” he said.  

Further complicating matters is the fact that farmers are aging, and many are finding it  increasingly difficult to get young people to replace them. Nationally, the average age of a farm  owner is 57½ years old; 43% of Black farmers are 65 and older.  

'Farming has shrunk from a mile to 300 feet'  

Browntown is a Black community founded on farming. According to local history, twin brothers  with the surname Brown bought the land that encompasses about a 20-mile radius; it was  parceled among their heirs when they died. Gibbons’ grandmother was a Brown. 

But the promise of higher-wage work, and the perceived freedom from Jim Crow segregation  and racism lured many young Black people north during the Great Migration between 1916 and  1970, away from rural farm towns like these.  

“Most of the farmers had large families and they kids was brought up on the farm. But as years  got by and all these kids grow up, they was rushing to get away from the farm, because the farm was a struggle — still is a struggle,” said Gibbons. 

The figures are dramatic. Between 1940 and 1950, more than 42% of the nonwhite Southern  population vanished. That number rose to 65% for nonwhite youth between the ages of 15 and  19, according to a 2007 SARE report. 

With four biological children and four stepchildren, Gibbons has no shortage of heirs. But their  desire to enter a business they've watched their father struggle to maintain over the years is  lacking, which means the family is currently without a contingency plan. 

Marshall, 58, and Lorenzo Davis, 66, co-own Davis Farms about a mile west of  Gibbons’ property and face a similar consequence. The brothers farm row crops, rotating  varieties of watermelon, field peas, snap beans and other seasonal crops they sell daily at the  Finley Avenue Farmer’s Market in Birmingham. 

As farm operators, the two have found themselves in a position they never intended. Fond  memories of time spent working alongside their father on the farm throughout their youth  persuaded them to keep the business alive after he passed in 2004.  

The brothers farm about 300 acres, half which belongs to the family, and 40 acres the late Davis  bought in 1960. That land is legally split between Lorenzo, Marshall and a third brother,  Andrew, who farms independently. 

Like many operators, the Davis’ maintained full-time jobs to keep their farm going. Lorenzo  retired in 2014 after 33 years as a correctional officer, and Marshall is still currently employed at  a facility in Elmore County. He wakes early most days to put in work at the farm before heading  to the prison for the second shift from 2 to 10 p.m.  

“Twenty years ago, when our father was in operation, we had cows and hogs. At one time, we  were up to 200 acres of field corn,” said Lorenzo.  

By the late-90s they had quit farming cattle. The cost of feed was expensive, and profits were  slim. Bills on a farm add up quickly — seed, fertilizer, fuel, equipment maintenance. Lorenzo  pointed out a 20-year-old tractor they owned that cost them $60,000 to buy brand new; an  equivalent today, he said, would be well over a $100,000. 

“We might eventually have to get back into growing grain because we’re aging now and you can  gather all that with machinery,” Marshall said. “Help is harder to come by now than it was 20  years ago.”  

Like Gibbons, the Davis brothers remain passionate about farming but are struggling to devise a  transition plan. Marshall’s 36-year-old daughter sometimes assists him at the farmer’s market.,  and Lorenzo has a 35-year-old son that has indicated an interest in the operation, but he doesn’t  have much experience and works a good-paying job that his farm income would likely never match.

Without a probated will, farms are vulnerable to becoming  heirs’ property 

Most farm operators are generational, acquiring land as it is handed down through family  members.  

While 65% of white Americans with a high school education report having a will, only 23% of  Black Americans possess one, according to a study reviewed by Texas A&M law scholar  Thomas Mitchell who studies heirs’ property; land owned by multiple people who typically  share a common relative that’s died without leaving a probated will. 

Kara Woods has studied heirs’ property in Macon County as a postdoctoral researcher at  Tuskegee University (TU). The historically Black 1890 land grant school’s research and  extension programs provide agricultural education and support to Black producers; often subject  to the same imposed financial limitations the farmers they serve face (Congress mandated 1890s  because southern land grants they created 28 years prior barred Black students).  

“It really goes down to generations ago when everything was in the family bible,” Woods said.  “You might have the lineage in the family bible, [unofficial] wills in the family bible. People  who were able to get land after becoming free didn’t trust white lawyers because they didn’t  have means to read and write. So, at that point it was safer to keep the land without a will  because you knew the family could always stay on it,” said Woods.  

One of the problems with heir’s property is that it isn’t divided by parcels or acres; it’s split by  percentage. That means that if a family has 50 acres and five heirs, each would be entitled to  10% of the land, not 10 acres. So, the more heirs a property has, the less value each person  holds.  

Because heir’s property is an informal form of ownership that involves multiple people, most  banks refuse to allow the land to be used as collateral in financial lending, and it’s generally  appraised at a lower value than clear title land.  

These properties also rarely qualify for state and federal grant programs that cover everything  from community development, to disaster relief and housing. Without individual ownership,  heir’s property isn’t an effective tool for building generational wealth.  

Before Alabama approved the Uniform Partition of Heirs Property Act, co-drafted  by Mitchell, in 2014, a single heir could force the sale of an entire property through a legal  partition action. Usually the sale would net far less than market value for the land. (The 2018  Farm Bill includes a provision sponsored by former Sen. Doug Jones that would authorize $10  million a year through 2023 to help farmers resolve ownership and address succession issues to  avoid this and other snags.)

Lack of generational leads put Black farmers on the back foot  

Though fourth-generation Black Belt farmer Demetrius Hooks, 47, knows the value of a will,  he’s had a hard time convincing his father, Al Hooks, 72, of the urgency in getting an official  document drawn up.  

Like the Davis’, Demetrius never imagined he'd assume farming as an occupation. He 'd always  helped around on weekends at the Shorter farm, but when he lost his graphic design job at this  newspaper around 2010, he spent more time there. 

The father and son talked it over and decided Demetrius should assume a more official role. A  few years later, he ended up at TU working as a farm internship liaison.  

Demetrius handles sales and marketing for Al Hooks Produce, and his father does most of the  farm work, though the younger Hooks does get his hands dirty every now and again. He has two  siblings who have families of their own, but none work the farm.  

The Hooks grow fruits and vegetables that they sell each weekend at the Macon County  Farmer’s Market and through direct sales via text message to customers who pick up their  “veggie crates” weekly at Demetrius’ home. They hold farm stands at Auburn and Birmingham’s  summer markets, too.  

Through a cooperative partnership facilitated by TU, the Hooks previously sold some produce  items to Walmart. That created a need for an onsite processing plant to wash, refrigerate and  package the vegetables. They were able to secure a $75,000 grant to build the $125,000 site and increase their capability.  

Beyond the need to expand capacity, large retail contracts like these often require special  certifications like GAP (good agricultural practices) that can be time consuming and expensive.  And it can take months to receive payment. 

Demetrius said the business had previously maintained a contract with Whole Foods, supplying  them squash, zucchini, peppers and collard greens for a few years. When Amazon acquired the  company in 2017 subsequent changes were made to their vendor specifications, which coincided  with a cancer diagnosis. They could barely keep up with the requirements.  

For many small Black farms that lack capital to pay certification costs or labor to meet greater  demand, these large contracts remain out of reach.  

The Hooks no longer sell to either large chain and are currently working with smaller regional  retailers like Filet and Vine in Old Cloverdale; though they will again attempt to meet Whole  Foods’ certification requirements now that Demetrius’ cancer is one-year in remission. 

There’s a “gap in business development. It would be nice if everybody started their business at  the same time and you didn’t have years of being locked out of certain opportunities because  you’re Black. Once those blockages and implements of discrimination have been removed it’s  not as if the next day I can easily walk into Whole Foods and be ready to deliver to them,” said  Demetrius. 

“You still have those generational leads. Other businesses that didn’t have those problems have  that benefit of being able to maneuver through those obstacles once they come up.” 

Although nothing has yet been written in ink, Demetrius has expressed to his father his interest  in taking over the farm when he retires. But the matter of a probated will still hangs in the balance.  

“I don't really think I should have a say of how it's done; it's how he wants to do it. But I need  him to come out and tell me,” he said. 

Certifications allow access to wider markets, but can be  costly and limiting 

In recent years, a burgeoning cultural movement has emerged seeking a return to African  American agricultural traditions. Urban farmers, many of them women, have cleared blighted  plots and cleaned up city blocks in an effort to nourish and beautify Black communities that too  often lack access to fresh produce and healthy food options. The trend of “reverse migration,”  first observed in the 1970s, continues as more Black people return to ancestral land in rural  communities across the South.  

“There’s a new awakening that's happening where people who left during the Great Migration  and went to work a job in Detroit or Ohio, they're coming back to Alabama and Georgia and  Mississippi,” said Natilee McGruder, a community land, food and farming systems advocate,  who's currently working to connect local Black farmers with a national seasonal food chain. 

“There are young Black people who are in New York and California who are landless, who want  to farm, who are ‘woofing.’ There are elders connecting with young folks. And there are the  1890s that have always been here to support Black culture, Black community and Black farmers.  There's a complete renaissance that's happening,” said McGruder.  

At 77, Josie Gbadamosi-El Amin, may well be a part of this Black agrarian rebirth. When she began farming 10 years ago, she had no experience. 

With bright eyes and a wide smile, the retired substance abuse counselor described how she fell  in love with Shady Grove Blueberry Patch after a friend clued her in on a “secret” spot where  locals picked berries on a conveniently absent farmer’s Tuskegee property.  

“I had to lock my eyes on the line of trees because it was so overgrown that I was afraid I might  get disoriented, and I better find my way out,” she said. “But I was just enamored by the blueberry bushes. It was just so wonderful. I had never seen anything like it. There was  something about the spirit of this place.”  

She inquired after the land and found a few leads, purchasing the 46-acre farm in 2010. The  move was so left field that her four daughters were concerned she may have hit her head and  corrupted her judgement in a recent slip and fall accident, she recounted; then burst into peals of laughter. 

For the Watts, California native, owning a farm has been an all-consuming experience. So much  to learn and so much to do.  

Gbadamosi-El Amin moved to Tuskegee in 1969 to study sociology at TU. That connection paid  itself forward for the new farm operator. From the agricultural school, she learned that the  acreage she purchased was the former site of a working farm project led by Booker T. Whatley, the “small farm guru” who popularized the pick-your-own harvest method and subscription  buyer’s club model (commonly known today as CSA) before it was widely adopted.  

What looked like a mess of trees, tangled weeds, and overgrown bushes was in fact a model for  sustainable agriculture cultivated by one of the country’s foremost experts on regenerative  farming.  

In exchange for seedlings, Gbadamosi-El Amin got a farmer to bring his tractor and a couple  workers in to help clean up, as well as some Tuskegee students who joined in. The operation still  runs as a “u-pick” service, inviting visitors to gather their own blueberries from the shrubs in late  May through mid-August. The retired counselor also sells jams, dried fruit and blueberry tizanes  — a fragrant, nutrient rich tonic that’s made from the leaves and fruit.  

Education has been at the forefront of her approach. She and her husband work on the farm full time. With the help of extension agents at Tuskegee, Gbadamosi-El Amin has attended  agriculture workshops and is learning how to write grants to apply for farm subsidies  and improvements.  

She regularly invites people interested in learning about agriculture to Shady Grove and even has  allowed some to experiment with growing plants and herbs like turmeric, moringa and hibiscus  on site. Although she uses organic methods, she is hesitant to seek certification, not solely  because of the associated costs and paperwork but because it would likely prevent her from  facilitating the sort of collaborative environment the farm’s ethos is grounded in.  

“Once you get certified then you have to put all kinds of limits on your property. You can’t have  people just wandering in the field to you-pick. You have to really control things. It really begins  to limit the kind of interaction people can have,” she said. “What I wanted for the farm was to be  a place where people could relax and enjoy themselves. That was part of what motivated me.” 

Gbadamosi-El Amin said her daughters have since warmed to the idea of owning a family farm  and have pushed her to create a formal long-term business proposal before they agree to get on  board with any succession plans. 

New federal legislation can help, but advocates face an uphill battle  

In November, Senators Cory Booker (D-NJ), Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) and Kirsten Gillibrand  (D-NY) introduced the Justice for Black Farmers Act, an attempt to address systemic barriers to  success that operators have long faced; and encourage a new generation of young Black farmers  who have the will but lack the capital to get established.  

Among its aims are to reform USDA policies that facilitate discrimination, protect remaining  Black-owned land, financially empower HBCUs to assist socially disadvantaged farmers and  ranchers, and establish a land grant program to support young, landless Black farmers. The bill  would also create an agency mandated to return land to Black farmers previously seized by the  government and create a federal bank to allow easier access to credit for farmers of color.  

On Feb. 15, Democratic senators took that action a step further when they introduced the  Emergency Relief for Farmers of Color Act, a bill that would provide $4B in direct payments to  these farmers to cover losses incurred during the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as systemic  discrimination. The bill, which has been lauded as historic by the National Black Farmer’s  Association, would also lay out an additional $1 billion to address discriminatory practices at the  USDA. 

It will be an uphill battle to get these measures passed, but either bill would throw a much needed lifeline to farmers. Without them, the future remains as clouded as ever.  

Gibbons, the 70-year-old Browntown man, for his part, is like most farmers, steadfast in his love  and commitment to the livelihood. He was also frank about the farm’s future: there isn't one.  Why counsel his children to leave good-paying jobs for such a risky profession? 

He was brought up on farm life, the children lack his passion, he said; and would likely be  unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices demanded.  

“They couldn’t survive, I don’t think," Gibbons said. "Aggravation. That’s what farming is all  about. I don’t know whether I love it or I’m crazy. It’s in my heart and I have no intention to  quit. I’m just going have to die at it."

Read the story as it ran on montgomeryadvertiser.com here.

[its-norea-wong]

Yall don know crap about me so here:

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal than milk. I don like to have a bowl full of milk after.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a winter-y day? Yes.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Random pieces of old sketch paper I have lying around everywhere.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I drink green tea as is. I’ll have that or cocoa, with milk and sprinkles.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes, I don smile often.

6: do you keep plants? Yes, I have a small sunflower in my window.

7: do you name your plants? Yes, her name is Vivi. Don fuking judge me.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I use oil paints.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yeah, I hum to the music I play when I draw, sketch and/or paint.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Sleep? Hah, I don’t, but If I take my sleeping pills like I’m suppose to, usually on my side.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Er allein, dem die Jugend gehört, gewinnt die Zukunft.  

12: what’s your favorite planet? Saturn.

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Watching Shiloh trip and fall.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? I’m not going to live in the city once I finish school.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! It would take nine years to walk to the moon.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Ramen.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I want to get rid of the blonde patch at my routes.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.  When I learnt German only to give our Jewish history teacher wwII flash backs. Nate was mad. I didn’t care.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Yes and just small outfit ideas.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue, purple or orange. Why? Idfk.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My hello kitty little backpack that I brought with me from japan, I now use it as a purse when I go shopping. It confuses people.

22: are you a morning person? hell. no.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Lay in bed till 4 pm.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Fuck no.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? The boy’s dorm room.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My black and pastel coloured converse.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum.

28: sunrise or sunset? sunrise. I’m not a morning person but it looks nice.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? no.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes, when? I wont tell, unless asked.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. They’re okay ig, yes?, no, no, and no thanks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I can’t really hang out with friends at 3 AM.

33: what’s your fave pastry? dessert mochii.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It’s name is Kuma. It’s a brown fluffy bear. yes i do.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? not anymore, I used to write to my mom while I was at school.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Bo burnham. That’s it.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! JB. just JB hitting on. every. single. guy. That or Shiloh. Just Shiloh being Shiloh. Also Bae thinking he’s better than everyone else.

39: what color do you wear the most? Black.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I own a small necklace with purple beads. It has meaning to me I guess.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?  The One Safe Place.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! No.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? JB. 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? When I was 11.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yeah.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. uhhhhh. To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Store bought ramen. It’s so gross.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Thunder and Lightning, and yes.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? The last CD I bought? Beetlejuice the musical.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Knifes. Pencils.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? uhh. Jeremy with sad song by scotty sire.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Ugandan knuckles, i know its dead but it’s still my favorite.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i love beetlejuice.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idfk.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I climbed up a shelf at the library to prove that I could be tall.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? no.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? im not answering this one.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhh idk.

59: what’s your favorite myth? Any Japanese urban legend.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? uhh. no.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I once gave away some floppy hat that my step dad gave me.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Yes, pineapple.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Yes. I make sure they’re organized on genre and then in the genre it’s alphabetized.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? blue.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My mom, but in order to do that, i’d have to die. :)

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Pink daises and sunflowers, small ones, plus some bits of lavender.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Happy, it’s nice.

68: what’s winter like where you live? no snow, it’s like 60 degrees.

69: what are your favorite board games? idk.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? ya.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? green.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? No, i have an okay memory.

73: what are some of your worst habits? I bounce my leg around whenever i’m not moving, that or I flick my pencil around.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. big ass hole.

75: tell us about your pets! I only have one and she’s a blind kitty. She’s white with spots and has a fluffy tail.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? My homework.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? uhh i really don’t care

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? I was given a flower by some girl during lunch, i never got her name though.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white, i didn’t get to choose cus I live in a dorm room.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. northern star.

82: are/were you good in school? ya i am.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? idk.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? no.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Ya i guess, and deadpool.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no. not really.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? my neighbor totoro, kikis delivery service.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? not really.

89: are you close to your parents? I was close with my mom.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. tokyo. i don’t have to explain.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no where.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i don’t put cheese on my pasta.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Shaved under my lil floof bangs.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?  Jeremy.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?  Draw.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I update immediately.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTJ - The Mastermind, libra, and huffle puff.

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? idk and no.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. no.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past, and for reasons.

[isobel-thorm]

Meet the Uncles

@amistrio was showing me up with Gatthew content so I finally made something for our boys aside from the one that’s taking ages.

It’s finally “Meet the Parents” time for Deputies Matthew Rook and Grant Lyons. But the latter’s family has one major difference than Matthew’s usual experience at that milestone, and he’s never been so grateful in his life.

So far, this had been the easiest “Meet the Parents” event Matthew Rook had ever gone through. 

He had been the ‘very good friend’ at a handful, and thr ones where he was allowed to actually be the doting boyfriend, he had to deal with some level of homophobia from his beau’s family or his own.

It was his understanding that Grant’s parents would most likely end up somewhere on the latter list, but his uncles were another story entirely - mostly because they had been in the same boat.

Russell and Charles Lyons were, well, everything Matt hoped he could be with somebody, whether it was Grant, or if things went catastrophically wrong, whoever came after him.

Considering they were also gay and clearly had no issues with the couple logistics he and Grant had, Matthew had to wonder if this was as close to a heterosexual “meet the parents” as he’d get. It was all personal questions, stereotype free.

There weren’t any awkward questions about who wore the pants, Matt’s favorite ‘how are you protecting yourselves’, ‘what’s your stance on your kind being able to get married, isn’t calling each other partners enough?’. It was just asking for elaboration on stuff Grant had clearly told them before: ‘how do you like bring a cop?’ ‘how did you two meet on the force?’ ‘first impression?’. There had been the classic ‘how did you two find out?’ with the unspoken ‘about mutually batting for the other team’, but the ‘been there, done that’ look on Russell’s face as he asked and Charles’ own knowing smile derailed what had started as animosity in Matthew’s gut. He figured it wasn’t a scandal or a minefield for them. It was just another take on ‘how did you meet’- ‘when did you find out you could completely be yourselves around each other’. They asked because they had that same milestone.

Grant rubbed the back of his head idly. “Unfortunately entirely timed well, Nic kinda sorta outed me-“

Charles dropped his fork so quickly and loudly Matthew jumped, and even Russell looked devastated briefly. “Nic? Our Nic?” he asked, the same time Charles firmly declared, “Shame on her, I expected better.”

Matthew had heard how the two men had clearly cared about Grant’s best friend, and he had always been around when Nic asked Grant about how they were doing. The three of them had bonded over their love for Grant- as had he and Nic. He opened his mouth to protest, but Grant was faster.

“No, no! Nothing like that. Like I said, timing. She was asking me about a potential date and had said ‘he’ several times and had no idea Matt was right behind us-“

“Honest mistake,” Matthew agreed. “Came up to check about a warrant. The conversation was almost done by the time I got to the main lobby.”

Grant nodded, then looked at Charles. “See? No harm done. She was latched onto me the whole rest of the day, begging for forgiveness. She’s good, we’re good, she can still wipe the floor with you on Words With Friends.”

“I’m beating her now, thank you very much,” Charles objected.

Russell swatted his knee playfully, then looked at Matthew. “How’d that particular reveal go for you, considering you two more or less share that same secret? Did you tell him right then?”

Matthew shrugged. “Told him Jake Stone was a selfish piece of work that wasn’t worth his time,” he explained, then grinned wash the other three smiled. “Nic’s whole face lit up. I thought it was relief that she didn’t out this one to anybody dangerous. Turns out she was just plotting that ‘blind date.’”

“And the rest is history,” Grant concluded. He looked at Matthew, and when the other man smiled at him, he leaned forward and kissed him.

Matt returned it happily, but out of habit he glanced at Russell and Charles, still expecting disgust, but no, that was different too, as it should’ve been. No disgust, no discomfort, just soft smiles- and then slight discomfort, but more so in the ‘let’s give them as much privacy as a dinner table could allow for’ sense.

If he was a worse man, he might’ve been jealous. This is what family should’ve been, this is what he had longed for. At least this was technically his now, if only by extension.

The conversation went on. Grant had made a playful comment about them being under the microscope so much that it was their turn. And so their round of questions had began.

 Russell and Charles had met in the 80s- ‘a different time mind you, it took us years to realize we had a lot more in common than we thought- no Grindr or Facebook or anything’ that had Matt laughing into his drink. They had gotten together, and then Grant’s parents had started to wonder about his sexuality in the late 90s and sent him off to spend time with them ‘because they’d better understand him’ - a practice that Matt could see probably meant well but it was entirely filled with holes and questionable at best. And Grant had felt more at home with them than he ever had, had fallen in love with the ranch, Wyoming, the horses- and had tried to stay put until his parents absolutely needed him home - ‘for photo ops and such, we could imagine’- which had Grant grimacing into his own drink. Matthew had given his hand a subtle squeeze and Grant had squeezed back. Things had quieted down in Russell and Charles’ lives after that, and then when they had heard about the gay marriage ban being lifted, and the pair had simultaneously looked away from the news, straight at the other and proposed simultaneously- ‘and the rest was history’ Charles had echoed. 

“But now look at this, a native man and the most decent white man around, and then the white man’s nephew ending up with a native man. A little on the nose, don’t you think?” he had concluded. In perfect harmony, Russell and Grant had both choked on their mouthful of food and made identical noises of protest as Matt had laughed, reassured by the conspiratorial look Charles had sent his way, until he cracked and laughed. “I’m joking! I’m joking! I’m sorry! There’s nothing to it, it’s chance, I know. Grant’s not like that, we made sure he isn’t.”

Grant crumbled up his napkin and thrown it at Charles’ head and the older man had ducked it and tossed his hands up in additional apology.

Embarrassment aside, Matthew had never seen Grant do something so lax he was almost grateful for the joke. He leaned against Grant’s side and tucked the side of his head into Grant’s neck for good measure. The angle was weird and uncomfortable with how they were sitting, but he figured it was necessary.

Grant had leaned into him nearly immediately. He went to take a drink, then paused and lifted his head to look at him. “For the record, I don’t have a Native American kink, I have a you kink.” he objected and looked Charles dead in the eye.

Russell had let out a surprised bark of a laugh at that and looked at Charles, who merely put his hands up again.

The rest of the dinner went along without issue. The four of them had continued their discussion, comparing notes as a couple, comparing their life experiences in changing times, sharing plans. It was… nice.

They had cleaned up and done dishes quickly, with Russell and Charles washing and Matt and Grant drying. Charles and Matthew had been finishing the last couple of dishes up when Russell and Grant had borrowed Grant for ‘a last round on the stable’ and the pair had left the house.

Charles and Matthew had left for the stables after that to check-in. And for some reason, it wasn’t until they were a few yards away that the lightbulb went off in Matthew’s head that stables meant horses and his pace slowed to nearly half what he had been walking at. Shit.

Sure enough, Russell and Grant came into view a few seconds later, tidying one of the stables where three of those gigantic, child-hating asshats were. Grant was brushing the brown one off to the side, talking to it quietly. Matt shoved his hands in his pockets and bit his lip to distract himself from pointing out that that thing was gonna eat Grant. After a few seconds he was certain that he had bitten his cheek enough that it would be sore for days.

Still, Matthew couldn’t help but notice how relaxed Grant looked once they got close enough to see details.

He knew Grant had come a long way since they met, since they started this relationship. A lot of people had commented that some of Grant’s progress was due to him, but Matthew wasn’t exactly fond of that analysis. Grant had pulled himself out of that darkness for the most part. But he still had lots of work to put in. Matthew knew that some of that darkness was just part of Grant and would be forever, he could see it in his eyes. But with that horse, a lot of whatever pain he could still see was notably absent as he looked at the horse and spoke to it with such fondness that Matthew ached- but it was a good ache. He looked at Charles briefly, and judging by the relieved smile he was giving Grant, he realized he was probably in good company with those thoughts.

Charles caught him looking and smiled softly before looking back at Grant. “You know, this is the first time I’ve seen him smile that big in months.” When Matthew looked at him, his lips twitched up again, then he sighed. “Between us, Russ and I… when Grant came home from overseas after… everything, we weren’t sure how much of our nephew was left to come home. We were terrified for him, and… well, we had a lot of right to be. If you knew him before… … he was a shell for a while. He tried, he didn’t want to be… like that. Had the nerve to call himself a burden once. Nic helped. She got the ball rolling for him, but you… whatever you did, however you helped… you got our nephew back. So thank you for that.”

So it was the exact same thought. “Can’t take all the credit. Like you said, he’s been trying a lot himself.”

Charles clapped him on the back at that, and the sheer paternal energy nearly made Matthew get choked up on the spot.

Charles nodded towards the pasture. “Come on. You wanna meet them?”

He meant the horses. Fuck. Moment ruined. “I uh… I’m good here. I’ve got a… thing with horses.”

Charles arched an eyebrow, but said nothing and walked to join Russell.

Matthew turned his attention back to Grant, only to see the same horse Grant had been petting before walking towards him. He panicked for a moment when the horse reared its head towards Grant and he figured this was it, his point was about to be proven because the horse was going to bite Grant’s face off-

But instead, the horse merely nudged the juncture of Grant’s neck and shoulder.

Grant laughed and gave the horse a pat on the neck.

The horse moved again and Matt panicked a second time when the horse practically moved face to face with him, and this was it, he was about to see some shit-

And once more, the horse just snorted and moved so it could press closer to Grant.

The other man finally seemed to notice he and Russell had an audience and looked up. He grinned. “Looks like Sundance takes after you.”

“Sundance can get in line,” Matthew countered.

Grant scoffed, then leaned forward out of the stable.

Matthew scoffed back, then knowing full well what Grant was getting at, kissed him soundly. And then immediately heard the same snorting noise that Sundance had made, suddenly directly next to his ear. He let out an extremely undignified yelp and darted away.

Grant, at least, had the nerve to look apologetic as he tried to push Sundance further away, but the horse seemed intent on cuddling with him.

Matt huffed, then stepped back - right into something exceptionally sturdy with what felt like bristles all over and - he knew what was coming before he turned around, but seeing another horse’s face right next to him was still horrifying. “Oh God!” he jumped back again, then when he realized he would end up right next to Sundance again, he pressed himself up against the fence and yanked one of Grant’s arms around him so they were flush up against each other - and an equal distance away from the horses.

Sundance tossed its head a few times at the development, but the other one started moseying closer.

“Cajun, no,” Grant told it. Still, the horse seemed intent on investigating Matthew further. “Well, I guess he likes you. He wants to be friends.”

“Yeah, luring me into a false friendship so I can have a sense of security and then eat me,” Mathew clarified.

Cajun let out a huff of his own at that, and Grant laughed. “Yeah! That wasn’t nice, apologize to Cajun!”

“But I-”

“They can sense fear, you know.”

“Fine! Fine!” Matthew snapped. He ducked, then reached over carefully, inch by inch. His fingertips finally made contact with Cajun’s neck, then his fingers, and before long he had his whole hand on him, and he gave the horse a couple of experimental pets. He drew back with his hand thankfully intact. He looked up at Grant, then Russell a few feet away, then Charles.

The latter two were giving him a fond but uncertain look. “‘I was a kid, a horse bit me’,long story short.”

“Ah,” Russell nodded. “That rules out a night ride then.”

“A what?”

Russell motioned at the horses. “We take these guys on a quick turn around the property. We aren’t gonna pressure you or anything, contrary to the whole ‘country bumpkin’ belief you’ve probably got,” he added with a smile.

“That’s not-I’m not-“ Matthew blurted, then sighed. He looked at Grant again. “Why are your uncles so mean?” he hissed.

“They like you, they’re trying to make you one of us quicker. It’s fine, I can stay at the house with you,” Grant assured him.

Matthew untangled himself from Grant and stepped away from him.

Charles, who had brought another horse over to get it saddled, gave Matthew another reassuring pat on the back that nearly had Matt crying again, then offered a wink. “If we don’t see you, goodnight.”

“Night,” Grant echoed. He reached over to give Sundance a parting pat.

Matthew watched him, then couldn’t help the guilty little pit in his stomach that started up. He watched Grant start to lead Sundance away, then watched Russell and Charles getting the tack or whatever the world's most useless equipment was called on two of the other horses, then sighed. He had just found a decent, accepting family, was he really going to be the odd man out, nor did he want to disappoint them, nor did he want to take Grant away from them in any capacity.

Shit.

“Wait!” he blurted.

Grant, who had already started to climb the fence out, stopped short. “What?”

“Oh, get on the horse, you asshole!” Matthew objected.

Double shit. He was gonna do this. “Hey uh, Charles? How do you…?” he motioned at the tack, then at Cajun, who had started to drift back over like he knew exactly what he was getting at.

Charles caught on after a few seconds and nodded. “Coming right up.”

Grant did, too. “Come on. You don’t have to do this. You never push me if I don’t want-“

“Yeah, well your stuff is… heavy. Mine’s… relatively light.” He moves when Cajun went to sniff his face. “Still, if this guy eats my face, I’m haunting you.”

“Noted. Are you sure…?”

“Yes.” Shitballs.

By the time Charles had finished getting Cajun ready for a ride, Matthew was a ball of nervous energy, and convinced Cajun was just nudging him to see how gamey he was.

Charles signaled that it was okay for him to get on.

Fucking shitballs.

He tried to remember the basics and what he had seen on shows. Grab handle on saddle, left foot stirrup, right foot up, swing -

He landed a little too lopsided, but he didn’t face plant, so he couldn’t complain. Well, he could, but not when the three others were looking at him so proudly.

It almost made up for how childish he felt when the three of them started coaching him through how to get the horse to go and how to sit and hold the reins properly.

Baby steps, he reminded himself. Everything started with baby steps, and this might as well have been a giant leap.

Still, he hopefully got bonus points for trying.

A few minutes later, once things had calmed down and he was riding decently for a beginner and his face and finger were intact and decidedly not Cajun’s late night snack, he slowed Cajun down so he was shoulder to shoulder with Grant and Sundance. “You owe me Tim’s on the drive home.”

“Deal.”

“... And sex when we get home.”

“For that… you have to beat me back to the stable,” Grant replied, and then did something with his knees that had Sundance speeding up- not by much, but enough to make a bit of a difference.

“Oh, you bastard.” Matthew tried to do the same thing Grant had, but in turn, Cajun slowed down. He tried again, and Cajun took off at a gallop, and nearly sent him flying. He tried a third time and Cajun slowed again, though just ahead of Sundance, and the latter would pass them in seconds.

Well, at least he got coffee out of the deal. Little steps, little victories. And then with a glance over his shoulder at Grant, who had in fact just passed him, and Russell and Charles a few yards back laughing and giving them that sand proud familial look he had missed out from others , ‘big, more than welcome changes’ came to mind, too.

[popculturebuffet]

Analysis of X: Excalibur: The Sword is Drawn

In honor of britan’s premire superhero team returning today, we take a look back at the original team. Kitty Pryde and Nightcrawler must team up with a drunkard magical british superman and his chipper shapeshifting sorta girlfriend to save their old teammate from an alternate dystopian future with the power of a god from both a squad of skin stealing wolves sicced on her by a sinsiter reality show producer from another dimension and a group of intergalactic weirdo bounty hunters after her due to an entirely separate omniversal dictator who wants to bang british superman. Somehow, Grant Morrison didn’t write this. I would like to, if I may, take you on a strange journey after the cut. 

Excalibur has always been the odd mutant out of the X-Men franchise.And that’s in part because the bulk of it’s mythos and characters come not from the deep wells of the X-Men comics of the time, but from another character Chris Claremont had a huge hand in: Captain Britain

Created shortly after Claremont got his start on the All-New All-Diffrent X-Men, redefining the X-Men forever and making them into the sales juggernaut they were for the 80′s and early to mid-90′s and are again today at long last, Captain Britan was Brian Braddock, a scientist who, while escaping a hired goon who torched his workplace, crashed his motorbike. He was saved by, of all things, Merlin... yes exactly the one your thinking of.... and his daughter and omniveral guardian Roma. They choose Brian to be their champion choosing either the staff of right or the sword of might and, not really being a fighter, Brian chose the staff and a hero was born. 

Cap was created for the UK Divison of Marvel and while Claremont did a sizeable amount of work on the character, including introducing Brian’s sister and future X-Man and as of this week Captain Britan herself Betsy Braddock,  it was two other men who made most of his mythos and the stuff that would end up being the backbone of Excalibur: Alan Davis, an absolutely monsterous talent of an artist and all around nice guy and... your going to want to sit down if you don’t know this I sure as hell was surprised, Alan Fucking Moore... and if that’s not his actual middle name it should be. Yes he of long beards, genere definting runs and yelling at the young people to get off his lawn and DC to stop hurting his baby Watchmen, THAT Alan Moore worked for marvel breifly. This was his only work with them shockingly. Not so shockingly he and Davis redefined the character, created most of the concepts that would be carried over to Excalibur, and gave the character a spiffy new costume seen above, one so good it’s stuck even into the modern era. Moore, and some other artists in addition to Davis, crafted a long epic about Cap going up against Mad Jim Jaspers, a reality warping mutant who was as insane as his name suggested and introduced many things that would become the backbone of the character, as well as establishing Moore’s habit of taking a less than sucessful B-List hero and utterly turning him on his head. Their also the ones who dubbed Marvel’s main universe 616, a fun fact I honestly had forgotten.  But of course after Moore left Cap fell by the wayside, making a cameo or too in other marvel books in the US while Betsy made her way to the X-Men just when they needed new blood most. More on that in a bit. But he wouldn’t stay on the sidelines for long. See Chris Claremont has a habit of taking characters he created and using them later if they’d been forgotten somehow or put off to the wayside. Mystique, one of the x-men’s most iconic enemies... was a Ms.Marvel (The carol danvers one before she got the rank up), enemy. Sabertooth? An old iron fist villian he’d created and taken a shine to. Arcade was inveted for a team up of Spider-Man and Captain Britan before primarily becoming an X-Men villian for most of his life. And of course Betsy was a a supporting character who became one of the x-men’s most iconic members through a weird mind swap with a japanese woman before recently getting her old body back. Claremont dosen’t like leaving his charcters to twist in the wind and thus brought most of them into the x-men mythos. Even Spider-Woman, depowered at the time, ended up as a major Wolverine supporting character. One of Claremont’s strengths as a writer to me is that he never truly forgot anything he created or worked on, and the X-Men benefited greatly from it.  So while it probably surprised american readers who only thought of Captain Britain as a c-list hero who teamed up with Spider-Man and Captain America, it’s no surprise in hindsight that for his second X-Men ongoing, having also made a TON of mini series, he choose to bring Brian to the big time. While I can’t find much background on Excalibur, I conjecture that Chris wanted to go a bit lighter. 

The X-Men were in a DARK place at the time. I mean the X-Men were never all sunshine and roses but most of the humor of the book and lighter moments were gone at the time thanks to the Mutant Massacre, an event where the Morlocks, a group of disfigured homeless mutants who felt at odds with society and thus lived in the tunnels under New York, were slaughtered by professional hitsquad the Mauraders who killed all but a handful of them and during the fight with the X-men took 3 of them out of commission:  Nightcrawler had fallen into a coma after overtaking his already crippled teleportation powers defeating one of the mauraders, Kitty Pryde slowly started to disappear, unable to phase back to solid after taking an electric spear for Rouge, and Colossus was heavily wounded in ways I forgot and since he rejoined the X-Men, aren’t really relevant here anyway. The X-Men were up against the wall against a barrage of ruthless opponents, working with longtime foe  magneto since Xavier got trapped in space, as you do, and were not in a really happy place. So it feels like, even if the angst was still present because Claremont would go into withdrawl if there wasn’t some form of angst to work off, Excalibur was created as a way for him to do something different in the X-Mold and lighter so he could go as dark as he needed to. So by injuring Kitty and Kurt, he took them off the board and had a starting point for the team, and by adding Captain Britan and his girlfriend Meggan, a shapeshifting  empath brought back one of his own creations and brought him into the american side of Marvel, and gave him an almost complete team. It also had the bonus of likely enticing Alan Davis, who in one of the few background things I could find about this book, didn’t really want to work on an established title like X-Men where there were expectations how it was supposed to look etc. But they were still about one member short of a team... but thankfully chris claremont had squared away a spare x-man for just such an occasion. 

Enter. Phoenix, aka Rachel Summers. The daughter of Jean Grey and Scott Summers from the Days of Future Past timeline, Rachel ended up in our timeline, bonded to the Phoenix Force like her mom, and struggling with the power, eventually running away after attempting to kill Selene, an evil sorceress who hunted her in an attempt to drain her power. She fled, not sure wether she should rejoin her team or not, and was instead lured into joining Mojo on the promise of a new start. Mojo.. is this guy. 

Strap yourselves in for this one: Mojo is the dictator of another dimension that runs off TV, essentially crafting shows for the media hungry populous and kidnapping the X-Men every so often to show up on his programs, to the point he once swapped Psylocke’s natural eyes out with robot camera eyes that looked like the normal eyes so he could record the X-Men’s adventures as it happened, which itself isn’t a bad concept. He didn’t show up to Rachel in person of course, partly because he’s too lazy and partly because he looks like what happens when lightning strikes a pile of twinkies and exposed wiring and somehow brings them to life.  She was sent here for the same reason as Kurt and Kitty: to keep her off the board and set up her return here. It’s one of Claremont’s strengths to me: While he ocasionally forgets a subplot or dosen’t realize how wonky one is, more often than not he knows where the story is going and has a plan for it, and thus set up Excalibur a year in advance in the pages of Mutant Massacre. 

Speaking of setup there’s one final thing to cover before we begin, the second X-Men crossover event and the one that directly leads into this: Fall of The Mutants, aka one of the worst days in the life of one Kitty Pryde. First her best friend and human google translate Doug Ramsey died while on a misson with the new mutants, sacrificing himself to save the life of his girlfriend Wolfsbane. 

As if someone was challenging god to make her days worth, at the same time as this tragedy the X-Men, at the time made up of Storm, Wolverine, Psylocke, Rouge, Havok, Dazzler, Longshot and with tag along Madeline Piror whose story is too much to get into here, were locked in a battle with force of chaos and actual demon Nemisis, a being summoned by their sorta ally Forge by accident. Forge can also build any device he pleases but since every fifth x-men character has magic ruin their life, someone had to take the bullet caked with demon blood. At any rate the only way to stop him.. 9 souls were part of the ritual that brought Nemisis in, 9 souls were needed for the ritual to seal him up. And the X-Men, being true heroes determined to do whatever it took, gladly offered up their lives to defeat the demon and save the world. As the world looked on, the X-Men died, for once not feared and hated, but honored and mourned as heroes. Of course this being a comic book Forge’s method of saving the world was turning the X-Men into pure soul energy and throwing them at the demon but that somehow makes it more epic. And of course, it’s no suprise one of their dearest friends was watching from Muir Island, which was serving as a recovery ward for the surviviors of the massacre and was run by longtime X-Men Ally and lynchpin of Hickman’s run Moira Mactaggert

Thankfully, Kitty got one tiny sliver of sunshine on the worst day of her life: Kurt woke up from his coma... just in time to tell him the only family he’d ever known is dead. And that’s where we pick up, with our two heroes trying to figure out what to do now they’ve lost everything. But before we FINALLY get started, this bit was way longer than I meant it to be, your probably curious how long the X-Men stayed dead as well.. this is comics and they were the hottest team int he world. This wasn’t going to stick even if Claremont was serious about ending the series. And the answer, and i’m not making this up I counted, is two pages. Yup, TWO PAGES. Not kidding. Ironically enough Roma, the omniversal goddess daughter of merlin I mentioned, got wrapped up in all this and, moved by the X-Men’s bravery, gave them the chance to come back and start over however they like, and the X-Men choose to be unable to be picked up on tape and let the world think they were dead so they could strike back at their mounting enemies. Granted I feel that while the “play dead and take out our worse foes while we have the advantage” is a good part of it, not telling the new mutants or kitty and kurt is not only cruel, but just paints a target on a bunch of teenagers backs. Sure teenagers who’ve faced worse but still. But I digress, that’s a rant for when I cover Fall of the Mutants at some point and this exposition has taken far longer than I wanted it to. And so here we are at the one shot that would forge a team and finally, we can get into it:  The cover, way up there is decent. It shows a nice right melee between Excalibur, the Warwolves and the Technet, though it makes it look like Gatecrasher is part of the team when she is in fact one of the issue’s main antagonist and is overall a bit weirdly composed. It doesn't help the proper Excalibur #1 has one of the best x-team covers of all time. 

As you can see the comparison dosen’t help the far messier above cover. It’s just average in comparison to the creative and funny covers Davis would provide throughout both runs and the majestic one above.  WE open on Kitty Pryde, understandably, having a nightmare, being dragged by a crew of makeup people just off screen and smack into

Oh good marvel’s already working on the new X-Men movie. Thank god I thought they really WERE going to take 5 years to do it. Naturally she is curious why their in hollywood but dosen’t suspect fowl play because well... to put it in a personal persepctive if I saw my grandpa I lost a few years ago or my dog I lost in high school that was the same age as me, alive healthy and back, i’d be confused as hell but mostly? I’d just be relived and hope beyond hope it was real, as poor Kitty is diong. Unfortunatley the illusion something isn’t up lasts all about a panel before this happens. 

First of all: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!. Second. as AHHHHHH! as it is.. it could’ve been worse. 

It soon becomes clear something is up as Kitty wails around confused, wondering why Rouge’s powers don’t work and why the X-Men are acting as if nothing is real before action is called and they run off.. it’s then Kitty finally encounters a freindly face. 

It's now from context clear just what the fuck is going on: this isn't JUST a dream: Rachel has somehow dragged Kitty into Mojoworld through her dreams, warning her, as seen above that with the X-Men gone, their image can be twisted and exploited by those wanting to use it for their own image. This warning is cut short when Fake Xavier starts shouting and soon we get this lovely image.

As we can see Rachel deeply regrets running but Mojo won't let her go.. fortunatley Kitty phases the chains and lets Rachel go, with Rachel promising to see kitty again soon as she flees.. unfortunatley Kitty's pissed off Mojo's actors...

Again, it could’ve been worse. 

Kitty wakes up and naturally angsts a bit over that fucked up dream she had and then sees a phoenix in the sky, wondering what could it mean and what could the dream mean. 

A lot to unpack here. First off... Perverso...

Second, my heart breaks at that last line.. and it’s true. Kitty likely feels, like a lot of people going through grief, that  maybe they could’ve done something. Maybe if she was there she could’ve stopped their deaths and saved the day or failing that, she could’ve gone with them. So she wouldn’t have to feel awful about being here while they aren’t, so she wouldn’t feel the unbearable weight of being one of the last X-Men. But the sad truth is, she wouldn’t of made any diffrence. None of them would’ve taken the last slot and would’ve given it instead to their tagalong Madeline Prior so she could see her family again. They died selfilesly, and nothing she could’ve done would’ve stopped them. 

As seen above Kitty tries to take solace in petting her dragon Lockheed. Yes Kitty has a dragon for those who didn’t know about him or were only familiar with her from the cartoons.. though why X-Men Evolution never thought to introduce Lockheed is beyond me. He’s a space dragon that stowed away when the X-Men returned from well.. space, and saved Kitty’s life, taking up residence as her pet. He was later revealed to be far more sapient than he seems, but still hangs around Kitty because it’s an effed up world, but it’s a two player game.  But as demonstrated Kitty’s powers have inverted. While she has gotten better, as I talked about in my Mauraders #1 review she was fading from existance shortly after the massacre, her intangiable state is now her natural one. She has to concenrate to turn solid. So in addition to having lost just about everything, her powers are broken too. Kitty then sees a picture of her shortly after she joined the X-Men before having a good cry about how most of the people in the picture are dead and professor xavier got shot up into space. Thankfully he dosen’t have to watch cheesy movies.. unless it’s Cho’d turn to pick the movie. For some reason it’s ALWAYS Cool as Ice. no one knows why. 

Meanwhile, in the seas of mood whiplash, we meet Meggan. Meggan, like most of the cast, is a mutant, something I was unaware of until now even though the I just thought she was some sort of magical creature, but no, she’s a mutant and the naration outright calls her one. I’m just stupid or thought they just classifed her wrong I guess. Unlike most mutants, who manifest powers at puberty, she manifested hers at birth. Megan is an empathic shapeshifter, basically meaning that she shifts based on those around her’s perception of her. And sadly her upbringing was not a happy one as, since she was born with fur, her parents saw her as a monster and left her in a caravan alone, with the rest of her romani community making up rumors about her.. and due to being unable to control her powers shape shifted into the monster they thought she was. She was raised on televisoin and thus has a rather naive sense of the outside world, and later bonded with brian after he took her in, her home having been destroyed due to lots of stuff I don’t have time to go into, and she later took up her current default form after realizing she was a shapeshifter in the first place.  But yes our bubbly shapeshifter is swimming with the dolphins and due to her emphatic ablites, she can commuincate with them learns how to swim like them and, thanks to her ablities, has shifted to do so the best. She’s lost track of time though and heads home to the lighthouse she and Brian live in. She returns home to find the place ransacked, and since she didn’t feed her mogwii after midnight.. this time, she searches for the cause.. and the cause turns out to be similar to the reason Kitty is crying her eyes out miles away in scotland. 

When Kitty and Kurt lost their surrogate family, Brian lost his too. As stated far above Betsy was his sister, and they were very close from the looks of it, and the loss of her naturally shattered the man. Meggan tries to comfort him but.. it goes  about as well as you’d expect, especially since Brian has been heavily drinking on top of his grief. 

This scene.. is really damn sad but really well written. Brian, as I joked in the teaser, has the powers of superman basically minus the add ons like heat vision and frost breath.. yet he couldn't save Betsy. But as Meggan accuratley puts things, he couldn’t of known she was in danger and she was a grown woman. As I said, she choose to sacrifice herself, and as I didn’t fill in, the spell only works with WILLING participants. All that would’ve changed had he gone is Madelyne Prior would be alive and not him. And it’s things like this that also made me take such umbrage with the X-Men faking their deaths: their causing, real genuine greif to people... while I joked mildly about the telpathy thing, i’m not sure betsy’s range, I AM sure that being a telepath one of the simpliest trick is masking your presence. It’d take a lot of effort and be mildly invasive, but keeping yourself hidden to tell your brother goodbye is hardly more morally grey than faking your death and leaving him in a drunken stupor. This is especailly bad once they get a teleporter shortly into their australian stay, as Gateway could SEND HER to him, with no risk of detection, and have her explain it in person with storm in tow. Instead they hurt their friends and loved ones for a plan that ultimatley didn’t quite pan out. 

Meggan herself mopes for a second, understandable as Betsy was her friend too and she's hurt she's gone and blames herself.. before snapping out of it, realizing that Brian is just lashing out and needs help, but unable to face him like he is, she leaves him a pictoral note, since she's functionally illiterate, and goes to get advice from Kitty and Kurt, wanting to help him open up the way he helped her do the same. Meanwhile...

Jesus christ this comic loves abrupt tonal shifts.. but yeah Kurt is excercising, but then reflexively teleports after he takes a hit. As  I mentioned earlier Kurt’s teleporting is strained, having gotten injured in a battle with Nimrod, who really hickman you couldn’t of come up with either a better name or a reason he’s called that when you brought him back in House and Powers?, and as a result comaed himself defeating one of the mauraders. And while the coma thing cleared up nicely his powers are still a fraction of what they once were and one teleport while injured no less leaves him too shaky to continue and reaching for the saftey panel. Thankfully Kitty phases through it while checking up on him, having been told through the island’s backup alarms that he was doing this borderline suicidal shenanigan. Kitty naturally lays into him over it. 

Kitty's rage is entirely warranted: She just lost her surrogate family and her best friend. Things with her parents are strained. She dosen't want to loose the only family she really has left because he feels the same things she feels and is nearly killing himself to try and deal with it. Kurt apologizes, admitting the painful part of it: that he was HAPPY when he woke up from his coma, overjoyed to finally be alive again, to live again.. only to find out his family is dead from one of his closest friends. And with this i'm reminded of Steven Universe.. just go with me. There Pearl mourned for a good decade about loosing Rose because well.. she was everything she had. She , literally and metaphorically, freed her, she was her world.. and Rose moved on to someone else romantically and then decided to up and leave the mortal coil. Her entire world left her and she had no idea to cope or as she put it in song, "Who am I now in this world without her?" That's what our heroes are dealing with: for Kitty and Kurt the X-Men were their world.. not in such a co-dependent way as rose but for Kurt, it was his family: through them he went from a monster in the world's eyes, hiding from it and tired of having to do so, to a bold hero who refused to hide who he was anymore and who had family and a purpose. For young Kitty, she found parental figures in a time when her actual parents, particularly her dad, were going through a messy divorce, found strength she never knew to the point she EARNED her right to stay on the X-Men after Xavier started a junior class and wanted her to go there, and really came of age. The X-Men made them who they are today and without them.. just who are they? But before they can dive into that themselves our heroes find out something disturbing: they had the same exact dream about rachel, complete with helping her escape. Maybe they really did or maybe it was just a warning, the conculsion our heroes reach, and while Kitty does resolve to do something about it, determining that just because their injured dosen’t mean they’ve stopped being X-Men, but before they can deal with this they get a guest. 

No but she’s just as weird and abrubt:

This is Gatecrasher,  leader of the The Technet, a group of interdimensional mercenaries and bounty hunters. She wants to speak with the lady of the house but that’s not really and option as she’s kinda on a schedule. You know people to grab, drinks to be drunks, sapient racoons to bone.. that sorta thing.. and the last one isn’t something I pulled out of nowhere the recent Rocket Racoon solo not only brought in the technet but had her fancy the guy. Guess it’s the fuzzy, as Kurt himself will tell you chicks dig the fuzzy. It’s why he’s Krakoa’s orgy meister. Before Kitty and Kurt can find out who Gatecrasher is and why she’s here, Meggan soars in.. and hisses at Gatecrasher. See The good captain and the Technet have a history: they’ve been both enemies and reluctant allies, so naturally Meggan is worried their here for Brian. But this time they have no buisness with the good Captain... and when asked by kitty why she’s here Gatecrasher uses a telecom crystal, some sort of magic hologram recording, to explain herself:

Saturnyne is , as she says an omniversal majestrix. This basically means she runs the day to day operations of the Captain Britan Corps, basically the Captain Britians for every reality, helps give underdeveloped words nudges toward advancment and general multiversal maintince stuff. Sorta like a combination of Omnitraxus and Hekapoo from star vs the forces of evil but without being a racist asshole. I mean she’s still an asshole, just not a racist one. She and Brian have a romantic history. As you can also see each of the team is having a different reaction to her: Kurt is popping a boner just off screen, maybe he can invite her to Krakoa orgy night hmm?, Meggan is pissed because she and Brian were a thing once, and Kitty just found out she likes ladies AND she likes guy. What i’m saying is it dosen’t take an intellectual to get that she’s bisexual. And yes I know she turned down Karma off screen later on but that was A) the result of another writer changing things after the previous writer on both character, Chris Claremont himself, apparently had sizeable ship tease for them. and B) if her ex boyfriend iceman can be retconned to have been a heavily closeted until very recently gay man this whole time, Kitty can also have been sticking to the closet or just simply have not explored that side if we want. Anyways it turns out there here for rachel at Saturnyne’s orders, because she’s apparently a theat to the multiverse.. not too much of a stretch when in one reality her mom going dark phoenix destroyed damn near everything and even here the phoenix force has snuffed out entire galaxies. She’s apparently on her way back to earth, and it’s the Technet’s job to catch her. As for the specifics.. Gatecrasher has no idea. And frankly when an omniversal goddess asks you go fetch someone for what I assume is a yak that has a comparentment in it’s back with millions of dollars stashed inside,  you don’t really care. Kitty being Kitty, refuses to help her find their friend and until she knows more, she’s willing to fight her on it. Unfortunatley, as you can probably tell, Gatecrasher wasn’t dumb enough to go after a being that can eat an entire solar system alone. 

It's here we meet the Technet proper and a fight between two former teammates, a shapeshifter they only just now met and who only Kurt recognized, and a team of weird as shit but highly trained bounty hunters goes about as well as the classic matchup of Wolverine vs "Anyone trying to get between him and his beer stash". Kitty is quickly taken out by the yellow girl with green hair, scatterbrain, whose power is.. just that: anyone she touches has their brain go all spacey and weird and kitty knocks herself out falling over when Scatter shuts her thinky parts off. And as for Meggan..

This is Bodybag. And his power is exactly what it looks like: he gulps people up and then keeps them in his sack on the back. It’s weird but i’ts my kind of creative weird and it makes sense for a team of bounty hunters to have a member to store their quarrry. Kurt wisely BAMF’s the fuck out of there, but Gatecrasher decides not to persue him: He’s not their target, and if he wants his friends he’ll have to come back for them anyway, so it’s not like chasing him all over is really worth the effort. She does have Bodybag snag kitty though, and plans to use her and Meggan as bargaining chips. 

Meanwhile Rachel finally returns to the story, as seen above a bit discombobulated given you know, she just crossed dimensions or whatever hapepned. She then ends up at a charity masqurade party , just poofying out of nowhere and when she tries to you know, leave...

I just... what the fuck kind of charity event IS this? The chains she brought with her but “no one leaves without permisson. “ I just... THIS IS A CHARITY BALL NOT VIETNAM. And who, besides racist assholes, thinks holdiing someone down with chains is a good idea. Just WHAT IS THIS SCENE. Thankfully we get some other party crashers. 

These are Warwolves, a new, as far as I can tell, creation and basically Mojo’s literal hunting dogs. Rachel tries fighting them off but naturally, their Psi-Proof so just blasting them with telekenisis won’t work and uses the objects around her, including her own chains to duck them. But she mutters what’s the point it’s just another sound stage.. except as I said, it isn’t. She’s in foggy london town. 

Rachel continues her run through the urban jungle eventually ending up in a subway. No not the restraunt, she’s not that unlucky. Duckign onto a train one of the warwolves globs on. 

To be fair most hollywood contracts are basically slavery, but Rachel as a point.. she was basically tricked into singing it, again not exactly uncommon, and refuses to take this bullshit.

This bit is awesome, and doubly so as I left out a bit of Rachel's backstory on purpose earlier: she was a hound. Basically it meant she was enslaved and conditioned to hunt down other mutants, only escaping shortly before days of future past happened and then escsaping into the present. So naturally the thought of being enslaved and forced to do some asshole's bidding again, to loose her free will? She'll die before that happens and slaughters the warwolf to prove it.. though also scares her fellow passangers in the process. While Rachel tries to explain thing the warwolves greeve.. and Teleporter, Gatecrasher's lizard thing, has located Rachel. Meanwhile Madison is grappling with the fact that not every issue can be settled by comittee... Meanwhile Kurt arrives at the Lighthouse to find Brian stinking of booze and asleep, so he decides to do the only logical thing he can think of. 

I fucking love you Kurt. So since Godzilla is too busy at his tax audit to save him from the depths of the ocean Brian wakes up himself pissed and assuming someone tried to kill him. Which granted Kurt outright admitted he might drown but given the only two friends he has left in the world and an innocent he just met who fought beside him despite having no reason to besides it being the right thing are in mortal peril, he has no time to play nice. Kurt’s responses to Brian’s outrage are fucking amazing. 

Fucking brutal and accurate: Brian’s alcoholism is killing him and is just as borderline suicidal as Kurt’s play session with largely the same intention. Kurt has no time for wallowing in self pity, no time to baby Brian, as much as it might be warranted, through his grief. Kurt Wagner needs a hero, and since the avengers and fantastic four would likely take hours he dosen’t have, Brian is his best bet at saving his friends.  He has no time for pity or sadness, he only has time to save what he has left. He explains the situation to Brian as well as how the hell he found him: since he at least knew of Brian, likely due to Betsy as she was staying with the X-Men prior to joining and just before the massacre, he dug up the X-Men’s file on him and spent the rest of his time getting to him. Brian is, unsurprisingly, in no real mood to help and mopes that there’s really no point in it… and that’s when Kurt somehow gets even more pissed  off and 20 times as awesome, with a speech worthy of Sir Patrick Stewart himself.

And as I’ve made abundantly clear that’s the point of this story: The X-Men’s temporary death was unfair, left a lot of pain in their wake and left our heroes scrambling to figure out where do they go from here? And it’s here Nightcrawler is the first besides Meggan, whose simple world view means it was a lot easier to process things and took her three panels to get herself in gear to help Brian, to really turn a corner on his grief. He’s sad his friends are dead, he wishes more than anything that he could’ve died a hero like them instead of living with the misery and sorrow of them being gone.. but he’s alive. And he’s going to honor them the best he can by being the kind of man they wanted him to be. And to me this is why Kurt became leader: out of the five he has the most experience,  with only Brian rivaling him in that, but also the most drive. He may of lost everything, but by god he’s going to keep moving. Sure his friends died, it’s the risk of the trade.. but they’d want him to live, to take up the sword and keep  fighting so that the dream dosen’t fade out. It’s why, as much as I don’t agree with it, they kept hteir resurrection a secret: because the safety of all mutants, of their friends, is more important than one man. And Kurt is going to honor that. But not before giving Brian another verbal bitchslapping.

Of course it’s not easy as Brian DID die to become captain britan.. and the memory haunts him. And he wonders when it’ll come from him.. and he’s afraid of it. But the question is will he let his fear of the reaper swallow him whole or live like Kurt, fighting on anyways. To truly live.

Meanwhile Rachel is the only member of the forming team to not have had a full on mope sesh so she gets on that, but it only lasts for about a panel and like most of the angst in this comic is warranted: Rachel comptemplates if she should go back to the X-Men.. but realizes despite running out on them , their family, and she has no other options. But before she can learn the truth the technet are upon her and bodybag scoops her up. Gatecrasher plans to release Kitty and Meggan and one thing I like that I hadn’t noticed in previous reads is Gatecrasher is a fairly intresting antagonist. She’s not “evil”, she’s just a merc wanting a payday, and in this case was hired by a legitmate if pompus source. While she takes Kitty and Meggan, it’s more out of pragmatisim and as noted she plans to release the two when she could’ve let Bodybag digest them, and when first showing up is perfectly cordial to Kurt and Kitty, and only fights when it’s clear our heroes won’t let her just walk off with their old friend. It makes me glad there’s far more of her and the technet to come as the series goes on and a ton more in Alan Davis run when I get to that. Their intresting characters with unique power sets and inject a sense of fun into what would otherwise be a fairly dreary story.  Anyways before she can do that the warwolves strike and are too dumb to know when to quit so a fight breaks out and Gatecrasher beats the piss out of one while Kurt arrives, watching from  the shadows. As for why no one’s spotted him... i’ts simple: One of his powers is to blend into shadows. It’s not used often and it’s forgotten quite a bit, but it is one he’s used on ocasion and even IF Claremont just retconned it out, his foes are too busy to notice. Kurt once again shows how awesome he is and tricks one of the wolves into slashing the bags containing his friends open. Gross but oh so triumphant. 

Unfortunatley his victory is short lived: Meggan and Kitty are still woozy as, while I didn’t mention this earlier, Bodybags bags contain a paralyzing goop so they still aren’t quite ready to fight and while Rachel is, she can’t psy zap the dog. Luckily for Kurt gatecrasher yanks it away. Unluckily, she prepares to beat him into furry blue chunklets on the ground. Luckily...

Brian has finally gotten his shit together to save the day.. for all of a panel…

While Brian is fighting who or whatever that is Rachel and Kitty try to get into things but are blindsided by ringtoss and joyboy whose powers well...

Yeah while ringtoss, if still weird isn’t TOO out of the ordinary for Marvel, Joyboy seems like he’s some sorta lost Jojo’s bizarre adventure stand. It’s also another reason to love the technet as again, their powers are just so fucking creative and weird. But that’s also what makes them such a threat: Their powers aren’t what most heroes usually deal with, and thus they have the element of surprise, helped by the fact their all from separate dimensions, meaning even in space, where their likely more ready for nonsense, they still have the upper hand by being races most space peeps aren’t ready for. Speaking of not ready,w ehave two last members to cover... 

They speak for themselves, and while they do so Brian tries to rescue Meggan but is stopped by scatterbrain. Nightcrawler notices their asses are getting kicked and figures out WHY: The Warwolves and The Technet are teams. They work together regularly. Excalibur at this point is three former teammates in a disorienting situation and two british persons they just met. And if they don’t’ start working together they aren’t going to last. So Nightcrawler decides to fix that by knocking a warwolf into Ringtoss, who then collapses into waxwork whose touch takes out both and leaves Rachel free. Rachel quickly takes out Joyboy and with him out of the way, Kitty and Kurt can focus on Gatecrasher:

And with that Gatecrasher knows when to fold em and teleports the team away to fight another day, while the Warwolves slinked off in the confusion. Both will be back, obviously, but for now our heroes have one, Brian and Meggan make up and make out, and with the chaos settled Kitty, Rachel and Kurt have a tearful reunion.  

Our heroes celebrate with a campfire and memories of their fallen comrades, with Rachel admitting she’s not sure what’s real or not after her experiences with Mojo. Brian prepares to leave and take care of the Warwolves himself.. but Rachel objects. The three others don’t have lives to return to, and just because the X-Men are gone dosent’ mean Xaviers dream should die out, likening them to the symbol of King Arthurs sword Excalibur. Kitty and Kurt start to agree, pointing out their dream taught them that if theirs a vacuum left in the X-Men’s legacy, someone will use it for their own ends. Rachel affirms her reasons for staying as a team, saying she’s tired of running: She’s done so all her live and she wants to , for once, stand for something. Meggan, having had similar problems in the past, agrees with her and the rest of the crew quickly come on board and thus we close on this image as a new team, and a new legacy, is forged: Excalibur is born.

Final Thoughts: The Sword is Forged is an utter classic and a great way to start things off. Our heroes are established, Rachel, who I felt was a bit thrown around by the plot during her time on the X-Men, is fleshed out a bit more and given purpose while Brian and Meggan are decently introduced to the audience. My only real complaints is that Davis and Claremont sometimes forget that American audiences won’t know who half these people are and while they introduce the Technet and Saturnyne well enough, they still never backtrack to explain them better later and what history I DID get I had to dig up for myself online. That aside the story, while having a lot of angst, is well done and has a good flow to it and ends on a high note, the characters are likeable enough, the villains are all creative though the Warwolves feel slight next to the Technet and will get fleshed out a bit more in the series proper. And of course I’d be a moron if I didn’t compliment Alan Davis wonderful art, which captures the whimsical tone well, the emotion in certain scenes perfectly and holds up beautifully years later. Overall The Sword is Forged is a great team origin story and if you liked what you saw here I’d recommend checking it out. Next time, hopefully tonight, we finally get to to the new Excalibur as Brian and his sister and thrust into the shit and a new Captain Britain is born. Until then, courage.

[whimsandfancies]

The strange silence

I’ve taken a good habit from my elder brother-in-law Gaurav. I get inspired and learn many good things from many people but learning is one thing and implementing it is another. Details on this some other time. So I was saying that the habit is an evening stroll. A long stroll. He generally takes someone with him but if there is no one he has himself for company. I generally prefer my own company. 

So today evening I happened to stroll by my old household locality where my mother got married and I spent my first ten years in that place. I decided to visit the Colony and have a quick handshake with my old pals (really old. We all are in our mid-forties now). 

But when I entered the Colony it wore a deserted look. In start of summer it used to be abuzz till late nights. The people used to be sitting out of their houses in different groups, ladies sitting in a group chatting and gossiping while their children playing in the ground. It was nowhere to be seen. I knew that most of the older people whom I knew had passed away and their next generation has taken up their seats. But to my surprise the ground , although now was very well developed with playing and exercising equipments, was empty with not a single soul in it. The ladies that used to be out were inside their houses watching TV probably or taking study of their children. I remembered that in my schooling days, after my school,I used to give only 1 hour to study, that too my mandatory homework. After that I ran out to play and came only after it was dark outside and my mother came out with an angry look. And then too I used to score good in my exams. Not sure what has happened now that the children are in a race. I used to score around 76-80% marks and that used to be considered good marks. But now even 90% is average. Even parents are chasing their kids putting more and more pressure. Even during exams, playing out  was mandatory and now children prefer to play with their mobiles. 

The people used to sleep outside their houses or on the roof-top in the cool night breeze. Nowadays everyone sleeps in the cool breeze of coolers and AC in the comfort of their own bedroom. One more thing which I noticed was that the doors of the houses which were open since evening till night were shut. Each and every house, including my ex-house also, was shut. Few of them had been demolished and new buildings were being erected in their places. One house right in front of my house was already converted into a four-storey apartment . Two more were on the way. I remember flying kite from the roofs of all these houses.

The funny part was that even the dogs of the Colony did not recognize me. I was left wondering that even pebbles of this colony used to know me and love me . Today even dogs are strangers.

I even visited the nearby temple which I used to go daily with my grandfather and my younger sister. The locality had not changed much but the door had changed it’s position. Some new idols were installed and few had changed their positions.  

Is this called, “life moving on”? Also is this called Change which is always permanent? I am wondering. Can someone please answer me?

[jswdmb1]

Fever

Fever got me aching

Fever, why won’t you explain?

Break it down again

- The Black Keys

It started with a cough on Monday.  I just got over a bad cold about two weeks ago, so I shrugged it off as a byproduct of getting over that.  Then I went to the gym after work and fell completely flat after just a couple of laps around the indoor track.  A little unusual, but I haven’t exactly been burning it up workout-wise this winter, so I passed that off to being out-of-shape.  I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache, but went into the office anyway, because I concluded that was sinus issues and probably just a by-product of a bad night’s sleep.  There’s no way that I could be sick.   Let’s press on.

To help ease my symptoms, I went to Walgreens and got the troika of OTC medications: Tylenol, Musinex & Flonase.  Those helped me get through the day, but by the time I got home later in the evening, I knew I was in trouble.  All of the above symptoms were accompanied by chills and body aches.  Time for the thermometer, which confirmed a low-grade fever of around 100.0F.  After a night of no sleep, I did a very 21st century thing and e-visited my doctor.  I didn’t feel like going out and nobody needs my germs.  Besides, I already knew what he told me - I have a virus, probably the flu, get rest & plenty of fluids, stay out of sight for a few days, yada, yada, yada.  Despite the unexciting news (my son was certain I had coronavirus), it was good to confirm that I needed some down time to recuperate and this time I was going to take doctor’s orders seriously.

I also have the issue of my family to deal with, specifically my wife.  Over the years, I have been blamed for bringing countless flus, colds, stomach viruses, and even pink eye into the house.  I’m not really sure why, but I seem to be very susceptible to the mundane but annoying illnesses of our day.  This time, there was no way that I was going to chance things and I quarantined myself.  I decided the best place for that would be my 6th grader’s bedroom because it was probably due for a fumigation anyway.  He happily moved into the basement, my wife got away from my germs, and I got a private room to convalesce (there is a fourth person in the house, but she is a high school girl, so she is indifferent to the whole thing).  

As I write you from my solitary confinement (my only visitors are an occasional drop in from one of the dogs who sniff a bit then leave), I realize that I have probably spent too much time by myself, some of it in a fever-induced haze.  Therefore, I think it is prudent for me to give you a few thoughts I have come up with since falling ill so that the outside world doesn’t forget about me:

The concept of a fever will always intrigue me.  If you have a temperature of 98.6 you are fine, but go up a degree or two from there and you are sick?  Doesn’t make sense.  In the summer if it is 98, 99 or 100 out, can you tell the difference?  And why when I was a kid, was a fever the absolute and only factor that could keep me home from school.  I could be vomiting blood, but if it didn’t produce a fever it was off you go.

There are plenty of ways to hydrate when sick, and I have tried them all, but the best option is to take a tall glass and fill it with ice (crushed preferably if you are fancy like me and have a fridge that has that setting) and then put some good lemonade (like from Trader Joe’s) in the bottom half.  Fill the top half with real ginger soda (again from Trader Joe’s) and you are going to hydrate like a champ.  In the mornings, that EmergenC stuff mixed half with water and half with OJ is also good.

No one loves game shows more than me, and being sick is always a great time to catch up on my favorites.  These past two days, I have watched a lot of Jeopardy and concluded that it is the greatest game show of all time and Alex is the best host ever.  This updates a previous declaration I have made about Match Game and Gene Rayburn being superior, but that is not true.  As much as I love Match Game, it is really not much of a game and Gene was more of an entertainer than a true custodian of the genre.  No one surpasses the ability and wit of Alex to handle the gameplay of Jeopardy like he does.  He is a class act and I will treasure every day with him from here on out.

I have also caught a bit of news, which isn’t normally my habit, but I saw the election results in Iowa and New Hampshire and became a bit curious.  Now I realize I may not be of sound mind right now (truth be told am I ever?), but I think I am starting to feel the Bern.  And, I’m not talking about the rash these flannel sheets are giving me.  I don’t agree with everything he says, but he also is sounding more and more like the only adult in the room, which is what we need now more than ever.  I’ll let the fever go down until I fully embrace this one, but look for more from me on this soon.

For reasons that are unclear to me, I seem to crave late 80’s/early 90’s soft rock for my listening pleasure while I am sick.  You know, like Anita Baker, George Michael, Lionel Richie, and Gloria Estefan.  Stuff that usually sounds horrible to me sounds comforting in this state.  Particular songs I have enjoyed in recent hours are “She’s Like the Wind” by Patrick Swayze (from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack) and “Man in The Mirror” by Michael Jackson.  I think some Toto and Glass Tiger got in there too.  My guess is that after my fever spikes, this odd obsession will go away, but I think I will still keep Brenda Russell’s “Piano In The Dark” in my playlist.  Seriously, that is a great song and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go listen to it now on Spotify.

I found out that I am probably more productive lying in bed than upright and out-of-the-house.  I fixed a bug in my computer that has been wonking for weeks, cleaned out my e-mail box, and worked through a couple of long-standing loose end projects that have been sitting on my virtual desk forever.  I don’t think I have ever been as well-organized as I am right now.  I am starting to think that doing this at least once a quarter will be better for me and my business whether I am sick or not.

There’s more I could share, but I gather this is already more than you probably wanted to hear.  The good news is that after 48-hours of quarantine I am starting to feel better and may be ready to emerge from my hibernation in time for the weekend. I am confident that all of the rest, fluids, and Tylenol has helped speed up my recovery.  I also believe that these past few days have been a real mental boost, which I agree seems odd, but in a world where downtime is hard to come by, I’ve decided that getting some forced on you for a couple of days isn’t the worst thing in the world.  As a matter of fact, I think it has turned into a real positive for me, which is not where I thought this was going to go when I started coughing on Monday.

It has also given me some time to catch up on things literally and figuratively, and I think I’ll come back with a fresh perspective once I am virus-free.  In the meantime, I’ll just lay here minding myself as I sip my ginger ale-lemonade concoction to the relaxing sounds of Kenny Loggins and his song from that Sly Stallone arm-wrestling movie “Meet Me Half Way”.  However, if you don’t hear from me by Sunday, please send help.  It means I’ve gone too far over the edge and started listening to the entire album of The Carpenters Greatest Hits 1969-1974.  At that point, it is no longer a game and serious intervention is needed.  I promise to be careful, but you never know.  I already can hear that chorus in my head:

“Don’t you remember you told me you love me baby…..You said you’d never leave again baby…”

Stay well everyone,

Jim

[jiwontiddy]

100 Reasons to love Kim Hanbin (iKON B.I)

1. had a mental breakdown during mix&match and ran away to go to Busan but he didn't have enough money so he ended up at a park and stayed there until yg staff members picked him up (plus yunhyeong had a mental breakdown too and started crying because of him)

2. I just wanted to escape from all of this

3. did mix&match while doing smtm3

4. loves his little sister so much

5. he said when hanbyul was born every single day of my life was filled with happiness

6. made his mother a bouquet of flowers for parents' day and decorated it with money bills lmao

7. learned how to professionally arrange flowers (we love boyfriend hanbin oof)

8. 'iKONIC is my life' 🤧💞🤧💖🤧💘

9. crazy work ethic

10. works 24/7 never takes a break

11. producing music is a type of hobby for him he doesn't see it as work

12. his studio is basically his second home

13. he stays there sometimes over night and doesn't go to sleep

14. you'd think he'd have health problems because of his lack of sleep but he's perfectly healthy 🙏🏼

15. except for that one time when he collapsed at the airport after being at the studio w friends and not getting enough sleep even tho they had to catch a flight at 7 am

16. you need to sleep when you die - Kim Hanbin 2018

17. is really reckless tbh

18. but a great leader overall he really does lead the group well

19. chanwoo and mino etc. were really scared of him but now he's changed and is less intimidating

20. unless they're recording or at dance practice 💀💀💀

21. expects everyone to be on time for practice but is the last one to arrive because he's still asleep

22. "if the camera wasn't here you would've gotten hit" actual words that came out his wonderful mouth (lets pray for chanwoo)

23. [finishing their insta live] Yunhyeong, "we have to get back to practicing" Junhoe, "we have to get yelled at again by Hanbin"

24. a very determined bean

25. takes his job veryyy serious and doesn't take it for granted

26. he's basically in charge of producing/composing and writing all of iKON's songs 👍🏼

27. he's the mastermind behind Love Scenario

28. tbh he deserves award for best producer and composer

29. has never been in a relationship but still writes the best break up songs

30. love scenario, killing me and goodbye road are all break up songs which makes analyzing the lyrics so much more interesting since they all cope with a traumatic break up in a different way and it shows different stages of getting over someone

31. h i s l y r i c s g o d d a m n

32. We were in love, we met and became a memory that can’t be erased. It was a commendable melodrama, a pretty good ending. That’s all I need. I loved you.

33. Freedom and new relationships but behind that is an empty heart. On this dark night, I’m alone again. Her existence is such a big part of my world. I try but I can’t take her out of it. Once I did take her off, I broke down. But I can’t tell myself to be ready to die, it's killing me.

34. I've loved you to death, but at the end I did not die.

35. Just go, back to him. It was wrong from the beginning, only I became the fool. You were never once mine.

36. that one time when he saw a couple during a fansign and called them out hE WAS SO BITTER LMAO

37. double b......that's all

38. "Bobby oppa looks dangerously attractive without glasses...wow man"

39. he's such a sweet heart to kids omg

40. a die hard animal lover

41. he is SUCH A GOOD DANCER FRICK THAT MIX AND MATCH STAGE WHERE HE WORE THAT RED BARET IM STILL NOT OVER THAT

42. tho he said he doesn't like dancing

43. but he still choreographed amazing dances during their survival days like how can one be so talented??

44. he's dumb but at the same time really smart if that makes sense??

45. like he doesn't know who koreas first president is but he knows who the army general was that led the korean army to win the battle in incheon for the 38th parallel line ?????? WTFSJSHSHSH

46. a girl group enthusiast

47. but can't do the dances even if his life depended on it (except for heartshaker and recently red flavor)

48. he said he doesn't pick favorites but if he had to they'd be Seulgi and Dahyun

49. he writes poems when he feels emotional

50. he usually gets his inspiration to write songs from movies, dramas, books or poems

51. his muse is actress Kim Jiwon he's so whipped for her

52. his favorite scene from one of her dramas is Fight My Way ep. 7

53. it shook him so much that he wrote a whole song about it

54. he wrote like 10 songs inspired by her

55. his gf is gonna be the luckiest girl alive let me tell you that

56. he rarely cries but got emotional recently at one of their concerts :(((

57. he's super close with Jinhwan

58. he wrote songs with G-Dragon, Tablo and Psy

59. he co-wrote whistle by Blackpink and empty by Winner

60. he fell during his second round in smtm it was so cute but so funny

61. his song Be I was the first smtm song to go down in history by charting at #1 in melon

62. he could have passed easily in my opinion he had such an amazing crowd control like they were going crazy over him

63. also Swings didn't like him because he was an 'arrogant ass' but after he realized that Hanbin was kind of experiencing a crisis he felt sorry and said if he'd knew he had protected him from the start

64. had to censor his own fans at a concert

65. one and only fuckin one and only🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️

66. he should be working on his solo album but instead he's out here releasing ikon's 3rd album

67. he has this habit of patting his left chest (above his heart) whenever he's nervous

68. never forget when he used a translator app to get closer to Japanese girls

69. whenever they have a comeback he usually turns off his phone for the next 24 hours so he doesn't see how the song charts

70. he and the boys actually don't care about charting at all

71. [NO SHADE I REALLY LIKE MOMOLAND] he could have produced a similar song to LS to use the hype around it like momoland did but instead he wrote Killing Me me which is more aggressive and totally the opposite of LS

72. he really likes rice soup uwu

73. he usually does vlives on channel+ since he's more comfortable there

74. one time he accidentally started a live on their regular channel and fans started pointing it out and he immediately went into panic mode LMAOOO

75. he is such a perv sometimes i can't

76. had a minor crisis when Bobby was in the US and had no one to cuddle

77. he's such a bean who deserves all the love in the world

78. got his ass whooped by Jinhwan for getting a tattoo (we love a rebel)

79. he suffers from rhinitis hence why yg gifted him an air purifier lol

80. has a producer team which consists of YG trainee Millennium (aka Raesung), Seung (and I guess One)

81. Seung is an artist, a composer, celebrity and a jobless guy (his words not mine)

82. Hanbin as a hyung and role model for Raesung: a concept

83. Chanwoo is more scared of Hanbin during recordings than he is from staying in a haunted house with a ghost let that sink in

84. 'ladies first' no matter what

85. cried during the final of win:who's next but was still able to crack a smile for Team A

86. the fact that Hanbin comforted Mino even though Mino was supposed to comfort Hanbin

87. got a turtle in japan and called him Michelangelo

88. forgets to eat sometimes

89. his name is B.I not BewhY

90. says he doesn't get scared easily but he does

91. king of spoilers

92. but hates it whenever the other members spoil something

93. fun fact: he made the guide for Love Scenario around May 2017

94. "Everything is in english, I can't speak english" also Hanbin "Turn that shit on" "so savage, so tight"

95. has a strict concept for his Instagram: black and white only

96. did a whole vlive with a dog filter on uWU 97. loves to hike

98. basically everything he does is so cute

99. but he can be so sexy at the same time

100. Kim Hanbin is one of the most talented and hardworking men in this industry and he's still getting slept on,, please support this bean

[jungnoir]

3.“Yes, they’re perfect, but…” with eunwoo in the same universe as "how to train your sanha" pls

all this and heaven too;

cha eunwoo | 3. “Yes, they’re perfect, but…” fantasy!au, royalty!au, how to train your sanha!au. | 3.7k words. | wow the angst, romance.

a/n: AHHHH u don’t know how excited I am to do a requested spin off of something else I did ok ok. you can read how to train your sanha for a lil backstory on prince eunwoo if you like :)


Prince Eunwoo was not a stranger to getting what he wanted. As the heir to the Kingdom of Caelum, there was not a thing out of reach for the royal family (it could even be argued that there was nothing out of reach for the common people as well). So, when Prince Eunwoo sprints into his father’s arms after a summer away at his uncle’s estate and tells him all about how Uncle Seunghoon has a pet dragon and all about how they just have to get one now, well... he gets exactly that.

The duties of the young prince had always been fairly obvious: classical training in several musical instruments, etiquette classes out of the wazoo, and socializing with every single person of noble and royal blood from age 8 to age 80. Eunwoo had no problem with the majority, but when it came to spending time with snooty lords and ladies seeking to betroth him to their bratty children, he preferred the company of dragons.

There was something unmatched about turning out of his royal garments and into the commoner clothing he’d acquired from the servants over the years (“Never for the king and queen to know about, understand?”), sneaking out into the night (past several guards. His ability had definitely matured over time), and spilling his thoughts to the creatures that lurked in the dark. Dragons, in the kingdom of Caelum, were a rarity amongst even the wealthiest of nobles. With their stubborn and independent natures, “owning” a dragon wasn’t the right term. No, it was more like Eunwoo was offering them a home to rest in when they so felt like it. In return? They gave him their undying loyalty and affection.

The amount of times servants had found the prince curled up in the tails of the dragons, fast asleep and unaware of the excitement amongst the servant’s quarters as they all bustled to get the young prince back to his room without raising any eyebrows were far too many to count on all the chefs’ fingers combined. As the prince got older and his... habits became accepted by the king and queen, the memories became humorous tales. Tales to keep in the past... once Eunwoo turned 21. 


“I know that this is upsetting, my love,” the queen’s voice had always been this gentle, but right now it feels so forced as he stands in the throne room with teeth gritted, “but it’s time that you start focusing on your princely duties... you are of age for many new things, after all.” 


Many new things, Eunwoo scoffs quietly as he thinks, they could only mean one thing. 


The king nods his head from beside his wife, chin rested on his fist with a neutral expression. His parents, Eunwoo notes, look like they’ve been raring to have this conversation for a long while now, but only now did they have a legitimate excuse to do so that Eunwoo couldn’t deny. He was 21. He was of age to take the throne at any time, had finished his studies with impeccably high marks, and was at the peak age to marry. There was no reason for him not to focus on these things. In fact, he should have been focusing on them years ago, but... he had hoped... a little longer, maybe. 


You let out a soft sigh from your spot near the entrance, a knight to your left and right who don’t dare make eye contact with you or anyone else in the room. You had been dreading this very moment since the minute you’d been handed the formal letter requesting Eunwoo’s daily activities be halted for an important meeting with the monarchs that morning. You had been dreading this moment since you’d become Eunwoo’s personal advisor, being made aware of Eunwoo’s current priorities and how they didn’t exactly sit well with the king and queen now that he was older. Eunwoo wanted to explore, learn of all that the kingdom had to offer, and the king and queen wanted him to marry and take the throne in two years time (less time was actually preferred; two years was the grace of God at this point). Watching this was torture. 


“I know you both well enough to figure there’s already a list of those many new things waiting for me to get started on right away.” Eunwoo tries to keep his sarcasm at its minimum. It doesn’t work.

The king sighs heavily, “Eunwoo, don’t start this. Honestly, you act like this is a shock to you.” 


Eunwoo wants to say that he always knew, that knowing it would happen and actually experiencing it were two very different things, that imagining this day was so much better than actually living through it. Yet, he can’t say a thing. Shouldn’t. Arguing with the inevitable was not an option, that’s not what kings did. 


The queen frowns, “It doesn’t all have to stop. The dragons will always be here, and when you have time, you can travel throughout the kingdom whenever you like. We’re just asking that you start to focus on your future. There are many nobles and royals eager to actually meet you, Eunwoo.” -and introduce you to their darling children to marry them off is what she means to add, but Eunwoo puts that together himself.

“Exactly,” his father chimes in, “they’re not villains. You would love some of these people. After all, they’ve been around us for a long time.” 


“Around us, yeah. But around me? Talked to me besides idle chatter? I don’t know any of them.” Some part of Eunwoo, despite having already given up about 90% internally, still clings to the need to at least make them see that this was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do.

“You had 21 years to get to know them, Eunwoo. Every time they were around, you’d disappear off to those stables and stay as far away from them as possible. Do not blame us or them for what you chose to do.” Unfortunately, the king had a point. Eunwoo was not an innocent player in this game. He had known of his future for a long time, so there was no excuse for distancing himself other than a childish hope that it’d somehow not come true. That hope was being extinguished now under an onslaught of icy cold waves, a wake up call of the least desired degree. 


You clear your throat, trying to be casual and discreet, but you notice the twitch in Eunwoo’s neck when you do. He just catches himself before he can look back at you, a habit he would soon have to grow out of. You had been his guide and sometimes life-jacket in royal matters since you both were children, and it was hard for him not to want to turn to you and hope you could fix this situation with your borderline magical problem-solving abilities. 


“...When do I need to prepare myself?” Eunwoo asks in a compliant tone, though the fire in his eyes doesn’t easily burn out. 


His parents are on edge still, but they look much more relieved by the new direction of the conversation. “You have until tonight, son. We’ll be welcoming a few suitors to court for your birthday celebration, but for now we want you to focus on strengthening relations between our kingdom and the nearby ones first.” The king explains.

Eunwoo decides he can handle that. He’d had intensive training to be able to handle that, after all. Without another word, Eunwoo bends at the waist and tucks a hand behind his back, another curving around his waist. Then he swiftly exits the room with you following quickly behind in swirling anxiety.

“Please say something, your highness,” you start, the smell of the stables for once going ignored by you in favor of deciphering this mess you’ll need to clean up, “anything is fine. Profanity is excused for today, encouraged even.”

You’d much prefer spoiling Eunwoo’s “proper” vocabulary if it meant that he would just say something to you. His silence was far scarier than his vocalization.

Your relationship to Eunwoo was a rather strange one, always bordering on the lines of advisory, friendship, and some other feelings hard to describe. Despite being around the same age, you had been trained since childhood to be several steps ahead of Eunwoo in everything. You were taking advanced royal training while Eunwoo was still learning his ABC’s, able to name every single one of the past kings of Caelum off the top of your head while Eunwoo hadn’t yet learned the first name of his grandfather.

Yet, at the same time, while you were years ahead of the young prince in knowledge and wisdom, you were still a child and you still were childish. The times when you would run off with the prince to the stables to admire the handsome dragons (only to then request leaving as soon as possible as to not end up smelling like dragon dung for the rest of the day) were some of the most fun memories you still kept close to your heart. Back then, Eunwoo had only one dragon, Eliatha, and Eliatha was only big enough at the time to carry both you and Eunwoo a few feet in the air before crashing into a nearby cherry tree and ending the festivities early.

Now, Eliatha’s tired eyes could only stare sadly at the adult prince, wishing to comfort him with a motherly hand rather than just brushing her snout against his leg, but the sentiment was not lost on you or Eunwoo.

Eunwoo continues to run his fingertips down Eliatha’s jade scales with care, a habit he’d found would soothe him whenever he and his father would get into scuffles about his negligence in his royal duties. If ever you were to need to find Eunwoo after a fight between the two of them, you always knew where to go.

“I’m not silent just because I’m angry. I’m watching my words, as all good kings do.” The last bit of his sentence is heavily sarcastic. You can practically feel the prickly words in your chest as you hear them. At least he’s talking to you, though.

You step forward some, stuffing your hands underneath your armpits to keep warm in the chilly air, “Thankfully, the only people good kings don’t need to hold their tongues around are their advisors and their lovers.”

Eunwoo snorts, sparing a glance back at you over his shoulder, “Is that so?”

“Yes! So please,” you check the ground covered in hay and grass for any signs of dragon droppings before taking a cautious seat next to the crouched prince, “spill it. It’ll do you no good to stay quiet.”

The prince looks reluctant even as he makes eye contact with you and holds it; something in those dark eyes says that he currently cannot find the words he wishes to use. Wheels turn in his mind as he assesses the moment before him, a mindful activity to ground him.

Here you are in your royal fatigues, legs tucked underneath you in this place you always either regarded as “smelly” or “nauseating”, just to listen to him... and he can’t feel any worse. 

“I don’t want to complain to you because it isn’t fair,” Eunwoo starts, catching the way your face pinches in puzzlement, “it isn’t fair of me to be upset.”

“I don’t follow...?” You press.

And of course you don’t, Eunwoo thinks; it is no more your fault than it is his own that you don’t know. “This... this isn’t even bad. It’s not what I want but my life could be much, much worse. Who am I to complain that I now get to secure my place as future king of Caelum? Who am I to complain that I’ll have to soon choose a suitor from some of the best of the best the kingdoms have to offer? Who am I, except a spoiled prince who got away with this gig for too long?”

You stare at him, unsure how to approach the conversation. In all your years of knowing the prince, you had never thought... never fathomed that he could feel so against his own emotions. The way he speaks is like he’s berating himself for even bothering to feel bad feelings, as if kings didn’t feel bad things because why would they?

“...Your... position, your highness... it comes with many wonderful things that you should always be grateful for, but it also comes with many burdensome things that you have the right to hate.” Eunwoo looks away from you as you respond, “You may live in a luxurious palace with the privilege of being waited on hand and foot, but you must also sacrifice yourself for the people you love and lead. This is a big thing to ask of any person. There is no easy way to be a good king, and with the good will always come the bad.”

“But look at Minhyuk,” Eunwoo mentions his younger courtier and the image of his kind and gentle disposition comes to mind, “he came from practically nothing and rose to the royal court with the utmost gratitude. He does everything that’s asked of him as a member of the court and never makes a fuss; meanwhile, I can get away with neglecting my birthright because I just “feel” like it. Don’t you think I’m...”

“A brat?”

Eunwoo’s eyes shoot open, then narrow into irritated slits, “...sure.”

You crack a small smile, “Sometimes, but you are one of the most wonderful brats I know.”

“You know more wonderful brats than just me?” Eunwoo’s eyebrow rises in amusement, “That makes me feel special.”

You scoot across the grass until your knees are just touching the prince’s, his face falling still. You extend your hand toward his chin and he almost flinches when your fingers brush the sensitive skin underneath, two of your fingers angling his face high up. His nose points out confidently at this angle, “Shall I say this, then, Eunwoo?” When you drop the “your highness”, you drown him in a sea of sobriety. He nods, entranced by what you’ll say next.

“You and Minhyuk are no different. You and any village boy in this kingdom are no different. You must stop looking at your life from such a negative point of view, always worried about what people will have to say about you, always worried about not looking humble enough or not performing at your most likable. You have been placed in a position from birth that would drive any twenty-one year old mad. You’re doing a great job; don’t belittle yourself so much.” You release his chin and smile when he keeps his head high, just where you left it. “You look so handsome when you have no worries.”

Eunwoo, by instinct, drops his chin toward his chest and flushes. Eliatha huffs a humorous breath at Eunwoo’s back when he does.

As if remembering where he is, Eunwoo looks at Eliatha in surprise before turning back to you, “Would you like to get out of here?”

You practically melt with content, “Yes, please and thank you.”

However, to your confusion and then mild horror, Eunwoo walks over to the set of reins hanging on the far west wall. He pulls down the one sized specifically for Eliatha and then comes back to the sweet dragon who is now bursting with energy at the thought of being ridden for the first time in so long. You immediately freeze when he starts to set up two saddles along Eliatha’s back. “Wait-” “Just a quick lap around the kingdom, ok? Maybe take a detour to that hill we used to go to when we were younger?”

“I didn’t agree to this, Eunwoo!” You push yourself off the ground as Eliatha begins moving out of her stall, stretching her claws mere feet in front of you in preparation for flight.

Eunwoo is already hoisting himself up onto the dragon’s back, grinning at you over her long neck, “Would you rather I go alone and disappear into the forest forever, you being the last witness and therefore responsible for my mysterious vanishing? Eliatha hasn’t been ridden in years, after all... anything could happen.”

“Are you... are you threatening me, your highness?” You stare up at him with arms folded in disbelief. Sure enough, he’s completely serious.

He lightly taps his heels against Eliatha’s sides and she begins to trudge forward, practically nudging you out of the way. In the same step, you feel your arm being tugged upward and suddenly your falling across Eunwoo’s lap, halfway on the dragon and halfway off, the front saddle just waiting for you to slip into. Eunwoo grins down at you with reins in one hand, the other wrapped tightly around your bicep, “Does that seem like the behavior of one of the most wonderful brats you know?”

Your kidnapping ride to the hill was, thankfully, not as dangerous as Eunwoo had tried to make it out to be in the beginning. Eliatha flew just as smoothly as she did always (except for the cherry tree incidents but those were in the past), and you were at the hillside in no time, propped up against the short, soft grass next to Eunwoo. The dragon had taken her perch at the very top of the hill for a well-needed nap which meant that there was no bribing the sleepy dragon to take you home any time soon.

The afternoon was cool, but the sunshine provided a warmth to both your skin that made you feel as cozy as Eliatha probably did. It had been so long since the two of you had escaped out of the kingdom for a heart-to-heart, so it was no surprise that the both of you began spilling your grievances and tales of mirth to each other without much prodding. You knew that moments like these would be few and far between from this point on, so you both knew, deep down, to get the most out of it.

It was also, to Eunwoo’s embarrassment at forgetting, still his birthday.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” He tries to protest, but his eyes are locked on the midnight velvet pouch that you slip out of your pants pocket. He can hear small metal clinking inside as you shake it. His curiosity knows no bounds as he immediately abandons his thing about you not having to get him anything, “What is it?”

You smirk, dropping the pouch into one of his upturned hands. You can see the eagerness in the way he works at the tie to the pouch, looking almost frustrated when it doesn’t untie under his miscalculated pulling. Finally, he does get it open, and into his other palm does he empty the contents of the pouch into.

Two metal bands, fused gold and silver like marble, lay in his grasp. He looks from them to you, suspicious.

“This is something I had Myungjun cook up for me. It was so hard to get him to keep it secret from you,” you grin at the thought of the eccentric court mage, “these... are rings. One for me, one for you. Do you like them?” You take one ring and slip it onto your pinky finger as the metal instantly resizes to fit it comfortably. You wiggle your hand in Eunwoo’s face as he tries to understand what your gift actually is.

“Yes, they’re perfect, but... they look like wedding bands.” Eunwoo murmurs, and you fluster. My god do you need to explain these quick.

“T-They’re not! They’re for your pinky, see? You wear one and I wear the other, and if you’re ever in trouble, just rub the surface and I’ll find you.” You demonstrate by shakily slipping the other ring onto his pinky, and with the aftermath of his wedding bands comment from earlier, this moment feels all too much like a secret wedding in the wild from those ridiculous romance novels you’d find being sold in town.

You then touch the surface of your own ring and rub back and forth. At once, Eunwoo looks like he’s been shocked, though you know the feeling is only a noticeable tingle running from his finger up to his heart. “Oh my god,” he whispers, “this is...”

“I figured that I’d get you something practical. There will be times that we’ll be stuck in meetings you want to get out of or conversations with stuffy lords and ladies that you’ll want to run away from, so whenever that feeling arises, just rub the ring and I’ll come swoop in to save the day.” You explain, watching the childlike wonder on his face grow. “And... if you’re ever in a situation with a suitor who just won’t get the hint, I can always make up some serious princely matter for you to attend to right at that moment: an absolutely unavoidable matter that includes stolen sweets from the kitchen on our way to anywhere else.”

“So you’re always there when I need you.” Eunwoo whispers, still staring at the ring in awe.

You swallow, the action feeling somewhat tough to do in his presence all of a sudden. Right when you’re about to add on how Myungjun had begged to add a snooping feature too (including a voice recorder that would give you the chance to listen in on any of Eunwoo’s private conversations. When you asked why you would possibly ever need that, Myungjun had flushed a thousand shades of pink and answered “no reason!”), Eunwoo looks up at you.

Expression full of gratitude. Expression full of... something else.

“And I’m always right where you need me.” He continues, holding the hand with the ring on it close to his chest.

Even when you’ll no longer need me like you used to, you think.

Even when I’m standing in a room full of people who want me for their own, yet all I can think of is being yours, he thinks.

You both don’t say anything else, though; you press your backs against the earth once more, fiddling with the rings on your pinkies, vibrations running up your sides to remind you that you both are never quite out of reach physically... but maybe in another sense.

[in-one-sockk]

1-150 for the asks :3🦋

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? - @when-youcant-sleepat-night2. Are you outgoing or shy? - im bipolar3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? - my pretty girlfriend on my birthday4. Are you easy to get along with? - I don’t know, find out5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? - begrudgingly, she hates vomit6. What kind of people are you attracted to? - butches with nice arms7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - definitely, we’re at six months!8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? - Frank Iero9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - not at all10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - the moon11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? - “meanie”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - Make it Right - BTS, Summertime - MCR, bellyache - Billie Eilish, Dilbar - Neka Kakkar, This Is Home - Cavetown

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - NO I have curly hair and if you touch it or interfere with it it looks like I’ve been dragged through a bush by my ankles14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? - I believe in good and bad karma15. What good thing happened this summer? - I met my girlfriend16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - yes17. Do you think there is life on other planets? - I think it’d be pretty egotistical to not18. Do you still talk to your first crush? - nahh19. Do you like bubble baths? - I like them, for like five minutes because I need to wash my hair and they get in the way20. Do you like your neighbors? - my neighbours are scared of sunlight21. What are you bad habits? - pulling away because I think I’m a burden22. Where would you like to travel? - Norway, Japan, places with blue seas and flowers23. Do you have trust issues? - I have a narcissistic mother, so yahh24. Favorite part of your daily routine? - getting into bed25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - my shoulders, they’re broad26. What do you do when you wake up? - die inside 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - neither, I don’t really think about it28. Who are you most comfortable around? - my girlfriend 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? - a lot of them, but for manipulative reasons30. Do you ever want to get married? only to @when-youcant-sleepat-night31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yeah but not a cute one32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? - Brie Larson (short hair) and Erika Linder  33. Spell your name with your chin - nopee34. Do you play sports? What sports? - I used to be a swimmer, and I did trampolining and high jump, but I haven’t done sports in a while35. Would you rather live without TV or music? - TV36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - nope, I’m quite blunt37. What do you say during awkward silences? - I’m usually the awkward silent one, unless I’m high energy38. Describe your dream girl? - can cook, nice hands, sweet laugh, fairly tall, short hair, strong, patient, likes cuddles, understanding, pretty masculine energied39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - ASOS Marketplace, thrift shops, Pull&Bear, Urban Outfitters, Run & Fly, Etsy40. What do you want to do after high school? - get married, have kids, be a housewife with a greenhouse and a vegetable garden. Can I do that? Nope. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - No, but context. If your partner hits you do they deserve a second chance? No. But you gotta let people learn and grow from their mistakes?42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - I want attention, I’m sad, scared, suicidal, tired, confused, embarrassed. So really a lot43. Do you smile at strangers? - If I like their energy44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? - I love both of these things but am also terRIFIED of both these things45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? - a better day might come 46. What are you paranoid about? - money and not having enough47. Have you ever been high? - yeahh48. Have you ever been drunk? - too much49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - yeah but obviously I’m not gonna tell you50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? - Green, my favourite51. Ever wished you were someone else? - a lot of the time52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? - I’d like to have a skill?hobby I could turn into a career I’d enjoy53. Favourite makeup brand? - I dont really have one, but I’ve used the exact same Rimmel London eyeliner since I was 1154. Favourite store? - Etsy55. Favourite blog? - @malnedott has a lot of cute aesthetics56. Favourite colour? - forest green57. Favourite food? - chilli with lots of sour cream (I dont like spicy food)58. Last thing you ate? - a jelly baby59. First thing you ate this morning? - a jelly baby60. Ever won a competition? For what? - I won a competition last month on “who can use the most words beginning with V and create a story that makes sense” 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? - I skipped school for a while when I was depressed62. Been arrested? For what? - nopee63. Ever been in love? - I’m very in love right now64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? - I actually can’t remember it..65. Are you hungry right now? - very, but I’m lazy66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? - I have no tumblr friends, no one talks to me67. Facebook or Twitter? - neither68. Twitter or Tumblr? - Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? - nope, I’m on Skype70. Names of your bestfriends? - Non, Maya, Calli (my cat)71. Craving something? What? - a cuddle72. What colour are your towels? - I don’t actually own any72. How many pillows do you sleep with? - two!73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - a stuffed unicorn and a blanket my girlfriend gave me74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? - seven?75. Favourite animal? - penguin76. What colour is your underwear? - I’m not wearing any 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? - chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour? - sherbet!79. What colour shirt are you wearing? - brown ish red??80. What colour pants? - grey with batman logos81. Favourite tv show? - currently Killing Eve82. Favourite movie? - Mamma Mia 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? - we don’t talk about the sequel..84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls (I’ve never seen the other one)85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? - Glenn Coco86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? - The stingray bus87. First person you talked to today? - @when-youcant-sleepat-night88. Last person you talked to today? - my little sister89. Name a person you hate? - Gauge…. my old supervisor at work90. Name a person you love? - my little sister91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - Eden (my sisters ex who left her suicidal)92. In a fight with someone? - sort of.. a non-resolved ignoring of each other and93. How many sweatpants do you have? - one I think94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? - 495. Last movie you watched? - Jennifer’s Body96. Favourite actress? - Jodie Comer97. Favourite actor? - Rami Malek98. Do you tan a lot? - never99. Have any pets? - two cats and one spawn of satan with a cat face100. How are you feeling? - kinda empty rn101. Do you type fast? - when I’m high energy, but am I skilled at it? nope102. Do you regret anything from your past? - dating that teacher that one time103. Can you spell well? - awkwardly, I can spell complicated words really well, but basic words where multiple of the same letters are next to each other are evil, like, I always think there’s two F’s in professor or one D in address 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? - my old best friend I guess sometimes 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? - no but I’d love to!106. Ever broken someone’s heart? - my mothers maybe107. Have you ever been on a horse? - yes and they’re evil creatures108. What should you be doing? - homework109. Is something irritating you right now? - having to go cook110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - yes, my girlfriend before we got together111. Do you have trust issues? - isnt this repeated?112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? - my girlfriend113. What was your childhood nickname? - Fifi Forget me not114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? - yes!115. Do you play the Wii? - yes, and hugely beat @when-youcant-sleepat-night at Mario Karts116. Are you listening to music right now? - my sister’s bath music from the next room117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? - I’ve never had it 118. Do you like Chinese food? - not really119. Favourite book? - The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier120. Are you afraid of the dark? - yes..121. Are you mean? - sometimes 122. Is cheating ever okay? - NEVER, especially when you’re Russian and pretend you’re a nice person and constantly talk about how cheating is never okay desPITE doing it to every girlfriend you’ve had123. Can you keep white shoes clean? - no, my converse are basically grey124. Do you believe in love at first sight? - i dont know125. Do you believe in true love? - thoroughly126. Are you currently bored? - a little127. What makes you happy? - flowers128. Would you change your name? - yes, for varying reasons. I dont like mine much, and to hide from some bad people129. What your zodiac sign? - gemini130. Do you like subway? - the food? not really131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - bluntly make it clear I’m gay132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - I think this is repeated too133. Favourite lyrics right now? - “I wanna build a place in you, where I can be made new”134. Can you count to one million? - probably not135. Dumbest lie you ever told? - “Of course I know what I’m doing”136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? - my bedroom door closed, wardrobe open137. How tall are you? - 176cm138. Curly or Straight hair? - I have curly hair, but straight hair requires a lot less effort and upkeep139. Brunette or Blonde? - ginger140. Summer or Winter? - autumn141. Night or Day? - night142. Favourite month? - August143. Are you a vegetarian? - no, but I can’t be in my current living situation144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? - none145. Tea or Coffee? - tea, black and cold146. Was today a good day? - no, all the customers decided to buy huge amounts as the store closed. If you do this, you are the worst kind of person and yes, we all thoroughly hate you147. Mars or Snickers? - neither148. What’s your favourite quote? - “They tell you to do your own thing but they don’t mean it. They don’t want you to do your thing, not unless it happens to be their thing, too.”149. Do you believe in ghosts? - no but I believe in bad energies150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? - Lateness fucking noticed, loser bitch