#so i made a joke of keeping him there like a pet in a hamster cage

[bloo-the-dragon]

Umm... yeah so. I got a new pet. He zoomies

Inspired by this:

@crackedlemoncandy​

[yournameloveskpop]

Innocently

Paring: Yeonjun x Reader

Style: NSFW, Romance, Fluff, friendship

Summery: out of the girls Yepnjun has dated, Y/N was the most innocent, pure, cute one. He adored her and enjoyed the unexpected surprises she had in store for him.

Warning: Virgin reader, Innocent reader, dom! Yeonjun, sub! Reader, praising

Word count: 2,455

Yeonjun couldn't help but chuckle as he watched Y/N intently examining the price tag of a dress she'd been eyeing for the past ten minutes. They were out on one of their usual weekend shopping trips, a ritual that had become a cherished part of their relationship. Unlike his previous girlfriends, Y/N's simplicity and innocence had captivated him. She never asked for anything extravagant despite his financial stability, a trait that made her stand out in his eyes.

As Y/N reluctantly placed the dress back on the rack, Yeonjun playfully nudged her. "Why don't you get it? It looks like it was made for you," he suggested, but Y/N shook her head.

"No, it's okay. I'm sure I can find something just as nice for a better price," she replied, her voice laced with determination.

Yeonjun, however, wasn't one to give up so easily. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he grabbed the dress. "Consider it a gift from me to you."

Y/N pouted, a mix of flattery and stubbornness in her expression. "You don't have to, Yeonjun. Really."

He just winked and headed to the cashier, leaving Y/N with a mixture of surprise and a reluctant smile.

Their relationship was filled with these small, playful moments. Yeonjun found Y/N's childlike innocence endearing, particularly in contrast to the more worldly ways of his circle. She often didn’t catch on to dirty jokes, which left her confused at the laughter of others, something Yeonjun found absolutely adorable.

One evening, they were all gathered at the TXT dorm with some of the ENHYPEN members, a casual hangout filled with laughter and chatter. Taehyun, in a moment of unfiltered openness, started sharing a rather intimate detail about his girlfriend's preferences. Yeonjun, aware of Y/N's presence, tried to interject.

"Hey, maybe we can keep this conversation a bit more... general?" he suggested, shooting Taehyun a look.

But Y/N's curiosity was already piqued. "What does that mean?" she asked, genuinely clueless.

The room erupted in laughter, and Yeonjun felt a protective surge. He didn't want her innocence tarnished by their less innocent conversations. However, he also admired her curiosity and openness, traits that made her unique in his eyes.

Seeing her confused face, Beomgyu chimed in, trying to divert the topic with his usual humor. "Oh, it's just Taehyun being Taehyun. Ignore him."

Yeonjun quickly joined in, hoping to steer the conversation elsewhere. "Yeah, let's talk about Hueningkai's new pet hamster instead. What did you name it again?"

The conversation shifted, much to Yeonjun's relief. He glanced at Y/N, who was now laughing at Hueningkai's story about his hamster's escape antics. Yeonjun felt a warm sense of affection for her. She was like a breath of fresh air in his life, her innocence and sincerity a stark contrast to the complicated world they lived in.

Soobin, noticing Yeonjun's fond gaze, nudged him playfully. "You're smitten, aren't you?"

Yeonjun just smiled, not denying it. "Can you blame me? She's one of a kind."

As the evening wore on, the group engaged in various activities, from playing video games to discussing music. Y/N's presence brought a certain lightness to the group, her laughter infectious and her joy palpable.

Later, as they walked back home, Yeonjun wrapped an arm around Y/N. "Did you have fun tonight?" he asked.

She nodded, her eyes bright. "I did. Your friends are crazy but in a good way. And I'm learning new things every day," she said with a laugh.

Yeonjun couldn't help but laugh along. "Yeah, they're a handful, but they're family. And I'm glad you're a part of it now."

Months into their relationship, Yeonjun and Y/N found themselves in a comfortable rhythm, their bond deepening with each passing day. One day, while lounging in the TXT dorm, Yeonjun brought up their upcoming anniversary.

"Soobin, did you realize it's been ten months since Y/N and I started dating?" Yeonjun asked, a note of disbelief in his voice.

Soobin, who was halfway through a video game, paused and turned to him. "Really? That's the longest you've ever dated someone, right?"

"Yeah," Yeonjun nodded, his mind wandering to Y/N. "I want to do something special to celebrate."

The day of their anniversary, Yeonjun had everything planned to perfection. He had booked a table at one of the city's most luxurious restaurants, a place he knew Y/N would love.

When Y/N arrived in the dress Yeonjun had bought for her, his breath hitched. She was a vision of elegance, a stark contrast to her usual cute and casual style.

"You look incredible, Y/N," Yeonjun managed to say, his eyes sparkling with admiration.

Y/N blushed, a shy smile playing on her lips. "Thank you, Yeonjun. You don't look so bad yourself," she teased, taking in his smart attire.

Dinner was a blend of delicious food, laughter, and heartfelt conversations. Yeonjun found himself more in love with her than ever, captivated by her charm and wit.

As they left the restaurant, Yeonjun reached for her hand. "Did you enjoy tonight?" he asked, his voice laced with hope.

Y/N squeezed his hand, her eyes shining. "It was perfect. Thank you for making our anniversary so special."

Back at Y/N's apartment, they settled onto the couch, a comfortable silence enveloping them. Then, to Yeonjun's surprise, Y/N leaned in and kissed him, her lips warm and inviting.

Yeonjun hummed in response, returning her kiss with equal fervor. The passion between them was palpable, a stark contrast to their usual playful exchanges.

Y/N then moved to sit on his lap, her hands finding their way into his hair. Yeonjun felt a shiver run down his spine, the intensity of the moment overwhelming him.

As she rolled her hips against him, Yeonjun's mind raced. This new, intimate side of Y/N was something he hadn't anticipated, yet he found himself completely drawn into the moment.

"Y/N," he breathed out, his voice a mix of surprise and desire.

She paused, looking into his eyes. "Is this okay?" she asked, a hint of vulnerability in her voice.

Yeonjun cupped her face gently, his eyes softening. "More than okay. I just didn't expect... you're full of surprises, aren't you?"

Y/N smiled, a playful glint in her eyes. "Maybe I am. Is that a problem?"

"No, not at all," Yeonjun replied, his heart racing. "It's just another reason why I love you."

As Y/N's eyes sparkled with love, she whispered, "I love you too, Yeonjun." Her voice was soft, yet filled with emotion. Leaning in, she kissed him once more, a tender and affectionate gesture that spoke volumes.

Yeonjun's hands tentatively traced the contours of her waist, hesitating momentarily as he contemplated their next move. Sensing his hesitation, Y/N gently sat back and, with a boldness that surprised them both, she gracefully removed her dress, revealing the delicate lingerie beneath.

Yeonjun's eyes widened in amazement. The sight of Y/N, confident and stunning, was a revelation. "Wow, Y/N, you're... incredible," he stammered, his gaze traveling over her defined hourglass figure.

Feeling suddenly shy under his intense gaze, Y/N instinctively covered herself with her arms. Yeonjun, however, gently grasped her wrists, guiding her arms away. "Don't hide. You're beautiful," he reassured her softly, his voice a soothing melody.

With a swift movement, Yeonjun unbuttoned his shirt, letting it fall to the floor. He then pulled Y/N closer, their bodies pressing together in a warm embrace.

Yeonjun lifted Y/N effortlessly, carrying her to the bedroom with care. As he laid her down on the bed, his eyes locked with hers, full of questions and concern.

"Are you sure about this, Y/N? I want to make sure you're comfortable with everything," he asked gently, his voice laced with sincerity.

Y/N gazed up at him, her eyes reflecting a mix of nerves and excitement. "Yes, I'm sure. I trust you, Yeonjun," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Yeonjun leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "We can go at whatever pace you're comfortable with. Just tell me if you need me to stop," he reassured her, his tone protective and caring.

Yeonjun and Y/N shared a look of deep understanding and connection, their eyes communicating more than words ever could. As Yeonjun leaned in, his lips tenderly explored her skin, kissing every sensitive area with a gentle reverence. He was acutely aware that this was Y/N's first time, and he was determined to make it as comfortable and memorable as possible for her.

His fingers, lips, and tongue worked in unison, creating a symphony of sensations that left Y/N breathless. He paused, looking into her eyes. "I'll be gentle and go slow, I promise," he whispered, his voice a soothing balm to her nervous heart.

Y/N's voice trembled slightly with apprehension. "Will it... will it hurt?" she asked, her eyes searching his for honesty.

Yeonjun nodded, not wanting to mislead her. "It might at first, but I promise it'll get better. Just let me know if you want to stop, okay?"

She shook her head, her resolve clear. "No, I don't want to stop. I trust you, Yeonjun."

He smiled reassuringly, his hand finding hers. "Squeeze my hand if it gets too much, alright? I'll slow down immediately," he said, placing his other hand beside her to steady himself.

As he carefully entered her, Y/N gasped sharply, her grip on his hand tightening. A soft whine escaped her lips, a mixture of surprise and discomfort.

Yeonjun showered her with praise, his voice gentle. "You're doing so well, Y/N. Just a little more, and I'll be all the way in."

With one final, careful push, he was fully inside her. Y/N's eyes welled up with tears, a few escaping down her cheeks. Yeonjun leaned in, kissing them away, his movements still and patient.

After a few minutes, Y/N gave a small nod, indicating he could move. He started slowly, mindful of her comfort.

Y/N's initial discomfort gradually gave way to pleasure, her body relaxing into the rhythm. Yeonjun's free hand massaged her thighs, encouraging her to relax. "Breathe deeply, Y/N. That's it, you're doing great," he encouraged, his voice a mix of praise and passion.

As Y/N's tension eased, her own sounds of pleasure began to fill the room. Yeonjun's movements became more confident, a little faster, eliciting small yelps of pleasure from her.

Feeling more comfortable, Y/N released his hand, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. Yeonjun cursed softly, overwhelmed by the intensity of their connection.

"You're amazing, Y/N," he murmured against her skin, his pace quickening.

As they both neared their climax, Y/N called out his name repeatedly, signaling her impending release. Moments later, her back arched beautifully as she reached her peak, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist.

Just seconds after, Yeonjun reached his own climax, their breaths mingling in the aftermath of their intense connection. They lay there for a moment, catching their breath, basking in the closeness they had just shared.

Looking down at her, Yeonjun saw Y/N's childlike innocence return, her eyes wide and filled with a mixture of exhaustion and wonder. He chuckled softly, feeling a wave of affection wash over him.

"Let's get you cleaned up," he announced gently, lifting her in his arms and carrying her to the bathroom.

He took his time to clean her up, then fetched some comfortable clothes for both of them. After changing the sheets in the bedroom, they crawled into bed, cuddling close in a cocoon of warmth and affection.

The morning sun streamed through the window as Yeonjun lay awake, Y/N nestled against him, still lost in slumber. His mind replayed the previous night's events, a mix of amazement and fondness washing over him. He smiled at the thought of Y/N, his usually innocent girlfriend, taking the lead in their relationship's new territory.

Days later, Yeonjun invited Y/N to hang out with his bandmates. She greeted him with her characteristic enthusiasm, running towards him and leaping into his arms. Yeonjun, always quick on his feet, caught her effortlessly, lifting her in a warm embrace as his bandmates watched, some with amused smirks, others with affectionate grins.

As they all enjoyed a leisurely coffee together before heading to the arcade, Taehyun’s girlfriend observed Y/N's youthful and pure demeanor with a sense of wonder. Y/N, oblivious to the attention, was happily cuddling a plush toy that Yeonjun had won for her earlier.

Beomgyu couldn't resist teasing Yeonjun, "Look at her, Yeonjun. She’s like a walking ray of sunshine. How do you manage to keep up with that much adorableness?"

Yeonjun, his cheeks turning a shade of pink, replied with a sheepish grin, "What can I say? She's one of a kind. I wouldn’t change a thing about her."

Amidst the laughter and light-hearted conversation, Y/N leaned in close to Yeonjun, whispering something about 'cute lingerie and handcuffs.' Yeonjun’s eyes widened, his face turning a deep shade of red.

Soobin, noticing the sudden change in Yeonjun's demeanor, laughed heartily. "Oh no, Yeonjun, what did she say? Did we corrupt her too much?"

Yeonjun, struggling to find words, stuttered, "No, no, it's not like that... I mean, it's just Y/N being Y/N."

Hueningkai joined in, unable to resist the opportunity to tease Yeonjun further, "Come on, spill the beans, Yeonjun. What’s got you so flustered?"

Y/N, seemingly unaware of the commotion she had caused, looked around innocently. "Did I say something wrong? You all look so funny!"

The group burst into laughter, the atmosphere light and joyful. Taehyun’s girlfriend chimed in, "Y/N, you’re full of surprises! Yeonjun, you’ve got your hands full with this one."

As they continued their day at the arcade, the group basked in the lightheartedness of the moment. Y/N's innocent remarks and Yeonjun’s bashful reactions provided endless entertainment.

Later, as they sat down for a meal, the group continued to share jokes and playful banter, Yeonjun occasionally shooting Y/N an affectionate, albeit slightly embarrassed, glance. Amidst the laughter and teasing, Yeonjun couldn't help but feel a deep sense of happiness. Y/N, with her mix of innocence, spontaneity, and unexpected boldness, had brought a new dimension to his life, one that he cherished immensely.

[sturnioloshacker]

sister’s bad week snap - a sturniolo triplets short

a/n: requested by anon; lowercase intended. my first fic for all three of them, yippee!

summary: after trying to grieve over the losses of what she loved most, the youngest of the family finally hits her breaking point with her brothers 

in a los angeles townhouse, lived nick, matt and chris, a trio known as the sturniolo triplets. their little sister, y/n, lived with them too. she adored her brothers and how much success they’ve had in such a short amount of time. the triplets had always been there for her, sharing laughter, secrets and support. but this particular week, it seemed like the universe was conspiring against y/n.

first, her beloved pet hamster, whiskers, passed away. then, her favourite stuffed bear named mr. snuggles, who was given to her as a gift by matt, went missing. y/n’s heart was heavy and her spirit was crushed. throughout the week, her brothers, well-intentioned but somewhat oblivious, kept asking if she was okay. they noticed her melancholy and tried to cheer her up with goofy tiktok edits of them made by fans and stupid jokes. but their efforts only seemed to make things worse. all y/n longed for was a moment to grieve her losses in peace.

finally, on a rainy friday afternoon, matt asked the dreaded question once again, chris and nick on either side of him. 

“hey, y/n, are you okay?"

tears welled up in y/n’s eyes, and her frustration boiled over. 

“no, matt, i’m not okay!" she burst out, her voice trembling. 

“whiskers died, mr. snuggles is gone, and you guys keep asking if i’m okay, but you don't even give me a moment to be sad or angry! can't you see that i need some space?!”

the room fell silent, and her brothers exchanged worried glances. they had only wanted to help, but they hadn't realised how their constant attention was suffocating her. realising her outburst, y/n took a deep breath. 

“i’m sorry, matt, i didn't mean to snap at you, but this week has been so tough for me. i just need some time to myself right now."

matt nodded understandingly, and the triplets gave her the space she needed. in the following days, they respected her wishes, allowing her to grieve and come to terms with her losses. slowly but surely, y/n began to heal, and her bond with her brothers grew even stronger as they learned the importance of giving her the room to be herself. in the end, y/n’s worst week turned into an invaluable lesson for all of them, emphasising the importance of understanding and supporting each other, even when they couldn't fully grasp what the other was going through.

[just-another-linguist]

House of feanor pet headcanons

Maedhros: Dogs, preferably golden retrievers and labradors. Therapy-, family- and service dogs in general (family dogs in Valinor, he needed a service- and a therapy dog post Angband). He had a owl in middle earth too. She brought his brothers and Fingon letters, but then she died in the Nirnaeth (together with Fingon. Funny, how you always seem to lose anyone too close to you. Do you think Maglor will one day vanish as well?Maybe you truly are a terrible older brother. You can't even take care of your own pets! Pathetic...) After the Nirnaeth he had a falcon, who later Elros inherited (She died together with him).

Maglor: Songbirds, but only in Valinor (Later in middle-earth he understood the feeling of being trapped as best as he could because of his big brother and set them free, if they were still able to survive outside. The birds who were too domesticated for that he kept). Canaries, cockatiels, budgerigars, etc. Celegorm and Curufin made jokes about the nightingales because Tinuviel *cough*.

Celegorm: Dogs. From. Orome. Do I have to say more? He had at least ten dogs alone for prey hunting. And Huan of course. HUAN.

Caranthir: Not a pet person or animal person. Had sea monkeys and a hamster as a kid, but somehow they died after two weeks. Well, the sea monkeys died after two weeks, the hamster lived three months. Feanor and Nerdanel didn't let him keep any other pets after that. In middle earth, he got fond of cats because they could be kept as pets underground because they have night vision (keyword dwarves). The cats he especially liked were the naked (egyptian?) ones, I don't know their names; they didn't shed and he is allergic to animal fur.

Curufin: Cats. Cat person. 100% cats. Cats are just made for him. They're like him. They're clever, cunning, daring, will do whatever you tell them not to do, territorial, THEY HISS, I mean how amazing is that and they're just so fucking bitchy and picky. Also, in the Tevildo Canon cats were considered evil by elves (Yavanna: I made these guys and they are perfectly fine and you're all just bigoted) and dogs hated them so I think it's kind of fitting for Curufin to like cats so much because they're so misunderstood and wronged by elven society. He had three cats in Valinor who he later took with him to middle earth (all of them made it, luckily). He had a black shorthair, a white longhair and a calico (all female and girls) and they all had cool badass Quenya names that I will not elaborate on due to personal reasons (*innocent cough*)

Amras: He had a tarantula in Valinor who was later left behind during the flight of the Noldoli. This was quite unusual due to spiders being disliked in elven society and being seen as unholy and disgusting (like Curufin and his cats). He loved her dearly and cried alot when he couldn't take her with him. Nerdanel promised him to take care of her while he was gone. When he got reembodied, his tarantula greeted him home. He was so grateful that Nerdanel took care of her the whole time (which was, to be fair, a long time) and thanked her alot. Their whole relationship got better because of this. Also, in middle earth he didn't keep any pets due to him still griefing his tarantula and him not wanting to replace her. He sometimes took care of his brother Celegorm's dogs, but only for a while and he held no love for them.

Amrod: reptiles. Lizards, snakes and amphibians. In Valinor, he had a chameleon, a bearded dragon and a iguana. He only got to get the chameleon in time, the others were left behind and Nerdanel took care of them. However, the chameleon got burned to death together with him at Losgar. Later, the chameleon got reembodied together with him.

Bonus Celebrimbor:

He liked to play with his uncle's dog (Huan) and he loved his father's cats. Curufin wanted to buy him a cat, but little Celebrimbor refused because he loved his father's calico cat so much that she was basically his pet as well and buying him a new cat would feel like replacing her. Later on, Finrod asked him again if he wants any pets and Celebrimbor refused again because he was happy with the calico cat. When Finrod left and he de-fathered Curufin (I am no longer your child etc. I forgot the verb for it. Listen im german okay i sometimes forget words), Curufin and Celegorm left together with Curufin's cats (including the calico cat) and Huan, Celebrimbor grieved the calico cat more than he grieved his father because it was easier to grieve somebody who hadn't hurt him. Finrod, his friend, as the absolute sunshine he is, left him a small poodle puppy behind knowing Curufin will take the cat with him. The poodle grew to be one of his closest companions in his life.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Pets

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )    

Alien: Why did you invite me over? Human: To introduce you to the newest fluffy member of my family. Alien: I did not think you capable of procreation. Human: Really? Human: How do you think my species has survived so long? Alien: No I wasn’t talking about your species, just you. -------------------- Human: *Throws ball for doggo* *Doggo chases after it* Alien: Why do you repeat this process? Human: Because they love it. Alien: Hmmmmm. Alien: *Uses telepathy to read dogs mine. Dog: Why do they keep dropping this sphere? Dog: Maybe this time they will hold on to it. -------------------------- Human: This is my pet crab “Mr. Snips”, and he is a pirate. Alien: Awe. *Playfully sticks finger out to pet crab* Is that because you let him sit on your shoulder? *Crab reaches out with claw and grabs finger* Human: No, it’s because he’ll cut you. Alien: *Looks nervously at Mr. Snips* -------------------------- Alien: Why do you have three of the felines? Human: Well Otto has been with me the longest for over a decade. Alien: Ok. Human: But when I got a new job I was at home less so I got worried that he’d be lonely so then I got Binbin. Alien: Logical. Human: But then I realized Otto only loved me and didn’t want to play with Binbin so I had to get a new cat who they could play with. Alien: Why did you not just take the second cat back? Human: What kind of stupid question is that? Human: *Mockingly* Why didn’t you just take the second cat back! Human: Why don’t I just shove my poo back in me because I miss it inside me? Alien: That is gross and not at all related to our discussion. Human: You made me upset and I’m swinging wild man! ----------------------------- Alien: Why do you have that bird? Human: It’s a smart bird you dumb dumb. Alien: What makes you say that? Bird: *Squawk* Bird smart, bird smart; you dumb dumb! *Squawk* Human: See what I mean? Human: He’s a smart bird. -------------------------------

Alien: I see your canine also wears a collar. Alien: Does that mean it is kinky too? Human: What the fuck kind of question is that? Alien: I only ask because last night you told me to- Human: *Panic slaps alien to be quiet* --------------------------------- Human: I got a pet turtle. Alien: I see you have finally found something that chews their food even slower than you do. Human: Why do you do me dirty man? Alien: It took you ten minutes to finish chewing a single bite from a carrot. Alien: You know why. --------------------------------

Alien: You have an adorable canine companion. Human: Yeah, he’s the best. *Squeezes doggo’s face cheeks* Human: *In cute voice* If anything ever happened to you I’d start shooting; yes I would, yes I would. *Doggo walks off* Alien: You say the cutest jests sometimes. Human: Who said I was joking? Alien: You can’t tell me you’d- Human: *Places gun on table with loud thud* Alien : *Looks down in silence* Human: Did I stutter? -------------------------------------- Alien: What does this tiny rodent do for fun? Human: I put them in a tiny ball and they run around like it is mad max. Human: Watch. *Puts hamster in plastic ball and they begin running* Human: They become the roomba’s natural predator in that thing. ------------------------------------------ Alien: I see your reptilian is almost as big as you are. Human: Not quite, but he’s getting there. Alien: How can you tell? Human: At night he slithers into bed next to me to sleep. Alien: …………. Alien: You know that they only do that to- Human: -measure themselves to see if they are long enough to eat us; yes I know. Alien: If you know then why in florp’s name do you allow it?!?! Human: You haven’t seen his cute begging face. -------------------------------------------- Alien: Why do you have a spider as a pet? Human: I can see a lot of myself in them. Alien: They both are disturbing and don’t like to be touched? Human: No; more of that they like to dig a hole to be alone and only come out when food is close by.

[jackhues]

goalie goals - (b's version)

note: this takes place on NOV/30/23

buttercup's world! au masterlist

buttercupsworld

liked by _connorbedard, stephmarner, alexned_ & others

buttercupsworld: WHAT WAS THAT?? A GOALIE GOAL!!

that's right you losers, this is not a drill!! tristan 'GOAL SCORER' jarry just scored a GOALIE GOAL! absolutely insane shit from my fav guy, and hella deserving of that helmet! love you jarry <3

shoutout dad for starting the comeback... but y so serious with da celly? still, this old man saw that tsn guy say there's no way he's getting 50+ and decided the first thing he's gonna do is prove him wrong (y'all i'm joking, he hasn't seen the video. no one show it to him or else he's actually going to go insane. might be nice seeing goals, but i have to live with him while he's being insane 😭)

also geno, are you happy now??! i put you on here twice, once with your face and once with your back (bcz you don't like looking at the camera for some reason)

honorary mention to mitchelly marner for getting a hattrick + so winner for the leafs. woo! (in that london knights jumbotron voice)

view comments

mackinnon.29: well i'm TOTALLY not screenshotting this caption to blackmail you

buttercupsworld: try me. i'll hurt you 🔫

tjarry35: thanks kid! how many posts have i starred in season? 2 already. no one's near my level 😌

erikkarlsson65: i've been in like 3

buttercupsworld: only bcz you keep touching dad's face

marner_93: wow, you actually made a sweet comment for me... that, i don't know how to feel. is this a first?

buttercupsworld: now that i have your attention... IN A FREAKING FISHBOWL?? MARNIE ARE YOU CRAZY??? you looked like a hamster

marner_93: ... there it is

buttercupsworld: you also look like a zhou zhou pet

mackinnon.29: a WHAT??!

buttercupsworld: search it up

stephmarner: i just searched that up and i hate to say it babe, but you do

buttercupsworld: HAHA STEPH YOU'RE MARRIED TO A ZHOU ZHOU PET

penguins: FIRST EVER GOALIE GOAL IN PENGUIN HISTORY!!

buttercupsworld: NO ONE DOES IT LIKE JARRY (flower and ned, i love you two very much, you're just not the stars of this one)

e.malkin71geno: not good enough, i need face

buttercupsworld: then show your face

e.malkin71geno: i want better pictures next time

buttercupsworld: okay okay fine

---

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[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: an unexpected text message from chan leads to minho’s family gaining a new member. but when feelings get in the way, minho starts wondering if four can be a magic number, too...

pairing: human owner!minho x cat hybrid!felix x cat hybrid!reader x hamster hybrid!jisung

genre: angst if you squint, fluff, smut

warnings: mentions of past abuse (e.g. beating, yelling, mentions of blood, injuries, abandonment), swearing, kissing, tickling, implied hacking, hugging, slight jealousy, biting, grinding, master/sir kink, fingering, eating out, hair-pulling, choking, unprotected sex/creampie, cum-stuffing, overstimulation, aftercare, cheating (but not really?), handjob, finger-sucking, blowjob, size kink, praise kink, corruption kink, hickeys, begging, edging, bondage (with a belt), tons of pet names, silly jokes & the L-word (pls lmk if i missed anything triggering)

author’s note: the title is once again inspired by the neighbourhood’s song softcore; there are lots of references to real-life skz quotes (if that makes you uncomfortable, don’t read), as well as batcat, rihanna, the originals, tiktoks, memes, you name it

word count: 8.1k

part one

chan & seungmin’s story

changbin, hyunjin & jeongin’s story

Lee Know's POV

If Minho could choose one word to describe his life, it would be the word perfect. After having adopted the cat hybrid Y/N and the hamster hybrid Jisung, he finally had something to look forward to before going home. He felt like through them, he had found his purpose. Before, it was just the same old monotonous existence: eat, sleep, work, repeat. But when he was blessed by Jisung and Y/N's pleasant company, his heart had grown in size. He couldn't remember what it was like before they'd become a crucial part of his life. Looking after them gave him more meaning than any other activity. And what made him even happier was how much affection they had for each other.

One evening, he got a really shocking text message from his best friend Chan. As a fellow hybrid owner, Minho could often confide in him and he believed Chan understood him better than anyone.

My only hyung 🐺: Minho, I need your help! I was driving and suddenly something jumped in the middle of the road. Luckily, I managed to stop in the last second. When I got out of my car, I saw this kid who looked like he'd been abused and then abandoned. His entire face and body were covered in blood. I think he's a cat hybrid. I would take him home but I'm afraid Seungmin, being a dog hybrid and all that, will scare him even further. Can you give him a place to crash? Just for one night, I'll figure something out tomorrow.

Minho quickly responded that he's on his way and hurriedly grabbed his car keys. When he finally arrived at the location Chan had sent him, Minho noticed that his friend had managed to help the cat hybrid by wrapping some bandages to the best of his abilities and putting some ointment from the first aid kit.

"Wait, why didn't you drive him to a hospital?" Minho wondered.

"He kept frantically repeating no hospitals. Maybe he's afraid the ones who did this to him will find him easily, I don't know."

"Fucking assholes," Minho grunted.

"Language!" Chan scolded his younger friend.

"So, what now?"

"It's getting pretty late and the kid can use some sleep. You can drive him to your apartment, right?"

"Sure. I doubt Jisung and Y/N would mind."

"Besides, it's just for one night," Chan reminded him. "We'll look into this further and hopefully, find him a caring home."

Minho nodded absent-mindedly. He didn't even know the cat hybrid's name and yet he already wanted to keep him. For more than one night.

Felix's POV

Felix couldn't stop himself from shivering. He wasn't particularly cold but he was terrified of what this new guy who'd just appeared out of nowhere might do to him. Wherever he went, there was no escape from humans. His owners had been the worst, always beating him and yelling at him. When they decided to ditch him in some forest, he was actually happy that he would be free from them. Sure, his bones hurt like hell but at least, now they could no longer touch him. But then, the hunger arrived and Felix thought it would be a great idea to ask a random stranger for a snack. Only...things didn't work out the way he'd hoped they would.

"Do you have a name?" the guy driving the car asked.

"F-felix," he replied.

"Well, Felix, it doesn't look like you've had a particularly happy life. But I hope I can change that."

Felix shuddered at the thought. The only thing that would make him happy was to be left alone.

"I'm Minho, by the way."

"I know, Chan-hyung told me as much."

Though he hadn't spent that much time with Chan, Felix knew he'd miss him. He was so kind and gentle to him. Why did he have to leave him in the hands of this new guy who looked like he could eat him for dinner?

"Don't worry, you'll see him again," Minho said, as if he'd read Felix's mind.

"I will?"

"Duh, he's my best friend. And I'm sure he wants what's best for you."

"Why did he leave me to you, then?" Felix asked, assuming that Minho wasn't it.

"I'll show you."

And show him, he did. Upon walking inside Minho's apartment, Felix was immediately greeted by three lovely creatures rubbing against his legs.

"You have a lot of cats," Felix pointed out dumbly.

"I have a thing about strays," Minho smirked. "And you haven't even seen Y/N, she's just like you."

"You...have a cat hybrid?" Felix was pleasantly surprised he would meet another of his kind.

"Have is probably not the right word. She's my girlfriend."

"Oh."

"And you'll also meet Jisung, he's my boyfriend."

"Is he...also a hybrid?" Felix guessed correctly.

"Let's just say...I hope you don't eat hamsters."

"Relax, that's not my cup of tea," Felix chuckled. "Do you have anything sweet, though?"

"How do you feel about brownies?"

Felix's eyes lit up with excitement. Okay, maybe staying here wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Reader's POV

"We'll have a new hybrid friend?" you beamed happily when Minho shared the news with you and Jisung.

"I mean...Chan said it'll only be for one night but when have I ever done as Chan said?"

"Like, never," Jisung snorted.

"Exactly. Do you guys want to meet him now or in the morning?"

"Are you kidding? I can't wait that long!" you squealed.

"Yeah, but you gotta be really careful, he's been through some bad shit."

"So have we," Jisung reminded him. "Don't worry, we'll make him feel at home."

Minho led you and Jisung to the kitchen where the new hybrid was munching on some brownies, an adorable grin splattered on his face.

"Hi, I'm Y/N and this is Jisung!" you chirped impatiently, announcing your presence.

The hybrid flinched, surprised by the warm welcome. Soon enough, he recovered from the brief shock and introduced himself, as well.

"Hello, I'm Felix. It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Jisung added. "Um, how are you feeling?"

Felix looked down at himself, as if to subtly point out the wretched state he was in.

"I mean...I've had worse."

"Sorry, my social skills are kinda rusty," Jisung scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"That's alright. Honestly, I'm too tired to maintain a conversation so I'll probably pass out in a bit."

"Oh, that's perfectly understandable," you replied. "We didn't want to disturb you, Felix."

"We'll talk again tomorrow, yeah?" Felix needed to make sure.

"Anytime you want," you reassured him. "Get some rest."

"Good night, then," Jisung responded, a bit crestfallen because of the brevity of their first encounter with Felix.

Han's POV

"So much for making him feel at home," Jisung sighed when he was alone with Y/N.

"Hey, it took you some time to open up, as well. Don't overthink it, I'm sure things will gradually get better."

"Overthinking is my middle name, sweetheart," Jisung rolled his eyes and kissed her cheek playfully.

"Yeah, well, being there for you is mine," she giggled and squeezed him into a tight hug.

"That's one hell of a long middle name, but I'll let it slide 'cause you're adorable."

"Damn right, I am," Y/N smirked and let her boyfriend (well, one of them) rest his head on her tummy, as she caressed his fluffy hair.

"If anyone told me I would live with two cat hybrids and three cats a year ago, I wouldn't have believed them," Jisung mused out loud.

"If anyone told me I would resist the urge to devour your sweet cheeks, I wouldn't have believed them, either," Y/N joked.

"Not funny."

"Admit it, you like my depraved sense of humour."

"I don't know how I'm letting you get away with this."

"Oh, you think you have power over me, ahjussi?" she teased him relentlessly.

"Yah, who are you calling ahjussi?" Jisung groaned and suddenly, instead of using her belly as a pillow, he started attacking her with tickles.

"Stahppp," Y/N pleaded through her laughter. "Okay, okay, I take it back."

"How am I to be addressed?"

"HANdsome (pun-intended 😉), you like to be called handsome."

"Do you need another reminder?"

"Nope, I learned my lesson, handsome," Y/N insisted, admitting defeat.

Finally, Jisung mercifully stopped tickling her and soon enough, they were back to cuddling.

Lee Know's POV

The following morning, Minho had just finished preparing the breakfast for his family when the doorbell rang. He hurried to open and was greeted by his best friend Chan.

"What are you doing here so early?"

"Listen, I looked into the hybrid owners database and managed to find the address of the monsters who tormented Felix and then ditched him in the middle of nowhere."

"I mean...that's great but did you get any sleep?" Minho was worried for his friend's health. "Also, how on earth did you get access to the hybrid owners database?"

"I...have my ways. And there was no time for sleep. We have to hurry and put them on trial for their abusive behaviour. If Felix testifies-"

"Whoa, there! Aren't you getting ahead of yourself? I mean, we gotta ask Felix what he wants."

Minho gently knocked on the room Felix was currently occupying. Since they wanted to make his first night at the new place as comfortable as possible, Y/N generously offered her own room and stayed with Jisung. Knowing them, Minho was certain they felt more than happy together.

"Good morning, Felix. Someone's here to see you," Minho announced as soon as Felix opened the door.

The younger boy shivered, probably expecting his owners had come for him.

"Please, don't let them take me away," he sobbed.

"What? No one's taking you anywhere without your consent. Chan-hyung wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh. Okay," Felix's tensed muscles visibly relaxed and he followed Minho out of the room and into the kitchen.

"Hey, little one," Chan greeted Felix affectionately. The cat hybrid excitedly ran towards Chan so that he could be closer to him. Minho marveled at the immediate connection between his best friend and the younger boy. He hoped with time, Felix would warm up to him, as well. "How are you holding up?"

"Much better than yesterday, hyung," Felix grinned. "What did you want to tell me?"

"I found your former...well, you know. I was wondering if you would like to sue them. If we take photos of your injuries and get your testimony, I'm sure justice will prevail and they will be punished for their wrongdoings against you."

"I can't face them again. Not in court, not ever, Please, don't make me-"

"Don't worry," Minho intervened passionately. "We won't force you to do anything. Right, hyung?"

Chan, who had spent the entire night looking for those terrible people, seemed a bit disappointed by the outcome. However, he realized how traumatic this can be for Felix, and nodded.

"Of course not."

Felix beamed and said:

"I'll go wash up but I'll be right back."

"So, what are we going to do now?" Chan inquired, lowering his voice. "We have to find him a home."

"Look around. This is a perfectly respectable home," Minho reasoned.

"No offense, but you already have a lot on your plate. Two hybrids, not to mention three cats. Are you sure you can handle another hybrid?"

"I don't see why not," Minho shrugged.

"Still, I would like to make things easier for you. How about shared custody over Felix?"

"But, hyung, it's not like we're divorced," Minho scoffed.

"Are you going to accept my help or are you going to argue over semantics?" Chan asked with a serious tone.

"Fine, Felix can stay with you occasionally. But what are you going to do about Seungmin and Maple?"

"If you managed to discipline Y/N to not scare Jisung, I'm confident I can do the same with-"

"With your hellhounds?" Minho finished the sentence.

Chan sighed but before he could reprimand his friend for being a dick, Felix returned from the bathroom.

"I have returned from the water realm," Felix announced cheerfully, his hair slightly wet and his bare face adorned with little stars. Minho couldn't stop himself from staring at him.

Felix's POV

Felix noticed there was an awkward silence that had befallen between Minho and Chan, so he wondered if they had been talking about him. Had they been discussing his fate? Were they going to put him up for adoption in one of those shelters for hybrids?

"What's up? Cat got your tongues?" Felix joked in an attempt to dissolve the tension in the room.

"We're going to make you an offer," Minho said. "You can...stay with me for some time and you can also stay with Chan-hyung."

"What's the alternative?" Felix inquired sadly.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Chan was confused.

"Are you going to ask someone else to adopt me?"

"Only if that's what you want," Minho explained. "We would like to look after you, if you'll allow us."

"But...why?" Felix, who had been through so much pain, couldn't afford to allow himself to hope, to dream of a better future. One where he didn't have to live in fear. One where he would feel safe at all times. He couldn't afford it and yet, it was so tempting.

"Because you deserve your life to be true to your name, Felix," Minho smiled gently. "Scratch that, even if you had a different name, we would still like to help you lead a happy existence."

"I couldn't agree more. We are here for you, Felix. We will always be here when you need us," Chan insisted and Felix couldn't stop his tears from coming out of his eyes. He was so touched by their kindness and caring words that he no longer cared if he would get hurt again. He just wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as possible. And even if it ended, he would still treasure it forever.

"Then, if you'll have me, I would like to stay," Felix cried out and rushed into Minho and Chan's arms. Minho caressed his head softly, while Chan stroked his back.

"You'll always have a home with us, kitten," Minho promised.

"I'm not gonna leave you behind," Chan whispered.

And Felix, despite everything he'd endured, despite his brain screaming at him not to trust humans ever again, instinctively knew they were telling the truth.

Reader's POV

Soon enough, you noticed that Felix gradually started to open up. At first, you welcomed his warm side and spent a lot of time baking with him or watching movies together or going to the park. The fact that you two were cat hybrids naturally made you bond closer. In addition, Felix and you adored playing with Minho's cats, as it was a shared activity you both enjoyed very much. However, as the days went by, you realized that Minho had become less and less attentive towards you and Jisung. He barely talked to you anymore. It was as if Felix was the air he breathed. You wondered if Jisung shared your observations. However, Felix was such a sweetheart it was impossible to hate him. And yet, your jealous side had come to the surface and it was refusing to crawl back down. So, during the rare moments when your human boyfriend decided to grant you with his divine presence, you decided to ignore him and see how long it would take for him to notice something was wrong.

One afternoon, while Jisung and Felix were playing video games, Minho tried to strike up a conversation with you.

"Hey, kitten, what are you doing?"

You stared at the TV, not reacting to his question in any way.

"Is it that interesting?" Minho asked with suspicion but to your misfortune, it was just the ads. There wasn't anything engaging to use as an excuse.

Still, you remained silent.

"Are you...mad at me?" he kept trying to coax an answer out of you.

Yet again, you said nothing.

"Fine, don't talk to me," Minho rolled his eyes.

Uh-oh. You had hoped he would quickly realize why you were acting like this, but instead, you'd made him upset. Instantly, you felt guilty for briefly giving him the silent treatment and figured it wouldn't solve anything. So, if you wanted things to change, you would have to communicate your feelings.

"I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at myself," you whispered nervously.

"What happened?" Minho inquired.

"It's stupid, really," you mumbled.

"Hey, no, don't do that," he scolded you gently.  "Tell me what's up."

"It's just...ever since Felix got here, you barely talk to me and Jisung. And I guess I was feeling a little left out and...jealous," you finally admitted.

"Oh, kitty-cat, why didn't you just say so?" Minho sighed and stroked your hair. "I promise you I'll try my best to spend more time with you. Besides, Chan-hyung's been on my ass for weeks, begging me to let Felix stay at his place more often. I never meant to hurt you, though."

"It's not your fault. I guess I got a bit insecure, because Felix is so nice and funny, so I kept thinking you no longer cared about me."

"Believe me, I will never stop caring about you. The only reason why I paid more attention to Felix recently is because I felt like he needed me, while you and Jisung have each other."

"Just because we have each other doesn't mean we don't need you."

"I'm right here. Don't ever doubt the capacity of my heart again."

"I will have that in mind," you smiled and buried your head into his chest.

Minho allowed this tenderness to happen for the briefest of seconds and then, kissed you passionately, biting on your lower lip. You wrapped your hands around his neck because you desperately needed something to ground you.

"Fuck, how I've missed this," you whispered the thoughts you'd been keeping to yourself into his mouth.

"All you need to do is ask," he smiled and pushed your body against the couch, using one hand to hold your wrists. Simultaneously, he grinded against you, making you all hot and bothered. He wanted you to crave him and you weren't sure how long you'd be able to resist the urge to beg. "Do you remember our first meeting?"

You blinked, a bit confused why he was bringing this up in such a situation, but decided that if you wanted to receive what you had been yearning for, you would have to play by his rules.

"How could I forget? It was quite literally a life-changing experience," you smiled.

"When I told you my name, what did you ask me?" Minho kept insisting.

"Um, I...got surprised you wanted me to call you by your name. And I wondered whether you'd prefer to be addressed as something else, like master or sir."

"And what did I tell you after that, kitten?"

"Not in this context, no," you quoted him correctly. "Wait, why are you asking me about this right now?"

"Come on, angel, I know you're smarter than that."

The epiphany suddenly hit you. And you were overcome by a strong fit of laughter.

"Oh. OH, you want me to call you-"

"If you don't like it, I won't force you to-" Minho responded grumpily, as if embarrassed because of your giggles. As if he thought you were making fun of him, which was so far from the truth.

"I never said I don't like it...master," you dutifully purred.

"Fuck, what are you doing to me?" Minho groaned and kissed you once again, more fervently than ever. Then, before you could argue (not that you had any reason to do so), he slid his hand inside your shorts, meaning to touch you rightaway. "Wet already?"

Though he phrased it like a question, it was more of an observation.

"That all for me, baby?" another inquiry with a self-explanatory answer, so you didn't bother responding. However, Minho considered your silence to be very rude, considering how nicely he was treating you and working towards your pleasure. "I asked you a question, darling."

"Yes, it's all for you, sir," you whimpered helplessly.

"That's what I like to hear," Minho smirked and continued rubbing your folds until you saw stars in broad daylight. A couple of moments later, you begged:

"Please, let me suck you off, master, please?"

"Nuh-uh, some other time. You thought I wasn't giving you enough attention? Well, I'm intent on proving you wrong."

"But-" you opened your mouth but you were immediately cut off.

"Good kittens don't oppose their masters. Are you going to be a good kitten?"

"Yes, sir, I promise," you practically mewled.

"That's what I thought," Minho grinned and pulled your shorts, along with your panties, to your ankles. Then, he dived his head between your legs and began licking your pussy like he'd been starving for ages. The pressure building up was so strong you had to grip his hair. You were grateful he didn't scold you for it.

"M'so close," you cried out.

He didn't register your words and just kept attacking you with his tongue until you came for the second time. After giving you some time to recover, Minho wanted to know:

"Can you take one more for me, sweetest?"

"Please, I need you inside me, master," you sighed wistfully.

"There's my good girl," he praised you and quickly unzipped his jeans. Opening your legs wider for him, he entered you in one swift motion, causing you to gasp. He looked worried for a second, but you hurried to reassure him:

"You can move, Min, I'm okay."

"I haven't even fucked you dumb yet and you already forgot how to address me," Minho tsked with disappointment in his voice. Then, he wrapped his hand around your throat, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you feel lightheaded but not tight enough to actually endanger your life. "Do you need a reminder?"

"No, sir, I'm sorry, sir," you managed to croak out. He seemed satisfied and loosened his grip on your neck, focusing on his own needs for once. And he started moving inside you, gripping your thighs so that your legs were resting on his shoulders. At first, he kept a steady pace, not too fast and not too slow. But then, as he got closer to his own high, his movements became more erratic and sporadic.

"I can pull out if you-" Minho as a way of warning you he was close.

"Fill me up, please, master, I want it," you begged and as soon as you'd given him the green light, he came inside you. Your third orgasm arrived seconds later, shattering you completely and irrevocably. Staying inside you a couple more moments and then, Minho withdrew from you. As your leg muscles relaxed, you could see his cum threatening to spill out of you. However, your boyfriend seemed to have other plans. Using his long fingers to gather some of it, he stuffed you full once more.

"Can't let it go to waste, kitten," he said with a wink. Nevertheless, what seemed like a simple process soon turned into him trying to send you over the edge again. But you were too sensitive and no longer felt pleasure from it, so you started crying.

"S'too much, please, stop, I can't," you slurred. Minho's fingers immediately left you and he scooped you up into a hug.

"Oh dear, my gorgeous girl, did I hurt you?"

"No, it's just...I couldn't...I'm sorry," you sobbed.

"Don't ever apologize to me, yeah? You did nothing wrong, I should have stopped earlier. Guess I was too greedy for you, huh?"

You chuckled lightly and were on the verge of melting when he kissed your cheek softly.

"What do you need? A warm bath? Sleep?"

"Both, but can you first hold me for a while? I don't have the energy to move."

"Anything you wish, my angel," Minho promised and cuddled you gently.

Han's POV

"Ugh, I wish these walls were soundproof," Jisung groaned loudly.

"I think they're pretty cute," Felix shrugged.

"They've been at it like rabbits for hours," Jisung rolled his eyes. "We should steal a strand of Minho's hair, run a DNA test and check if he has some bunny hybrid blood in his ancestry."

Felix giggled at his friend's humorous suggestion.

"I don't know about that but I think Minho-hyung definitely has something feline in him."

Jisung chuckled as well and gave Felix a high five for playing along.

"I'm glad they made up, though."

"They fought?!" Felix was visibly confused by this information.

"Well, not really, but I could tell Y/N was kinda upset Minho's been paying so much attention to you," Jisung explained patiently.

"Wait...then, why aren't you mad? I mean, he's your boyfriend, too."

"I don't get jealous because I know Minho'll always be on my side. No matter what," Jisung replied confidently.

"Oh," Felix murmured with longing. "It must be nice to have that special someone. I think all three of you are so lucky."

"Do you want to experience it, as well?" Jisung immediately caught on, successfully sensing Felix's emotions.

"What do you have in mind?" Felix asked curiously.

"Just follow my plan and you'll see," Jisung smirked, a brilliant idea already forming in his head.

Later, Jisung approached Minho with an unusual question.

"Do you even know the meaning of jealousy, honey?"

"What are you talking about?" Minho's brows furrowed, as this inquiry came out nowhere.

"I have a theory there are only three emotions living inside you. Happiness, sadness and anger," Jisung began putting his plan in motion.

"That's not true, I also have...you know how I feel about you and Y/N," Minho replied vaguely. "Don't make me say it."

"Okay, okay," Jisung raised his arms in pretend surrender. "Next question."

"What is this, a job interview?"

"Will you hear the question or not?" Jisung insisted, getting slightly aggravated by his boyfriend.

Minho nodded unwillingly.

"Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if I kissed Felix?"

Minho tried to not appear surprised.

"I would hypothetically shrug it off," he responded calmly.

"You wouldn't get angry or accuse me of cheating?" Jisung eyed him suspiciously.

"It's technically not considered cheating," Minho narrowed his usually wide eyes.

"Care to explain what you mean by that?"

"I mean...if we leave the whole discourse of whether kissing is cheating aside, I wouldn't view it as cheating because I would know about it beforehand. Why would you ask me something like that unless you were already planning on kissing Felix? Hypothetically, of course."

Jisung appeared satisfied with Minho's answer so he kept going. He was so close to making everyone in this home happier than ever.

"And would you hypothetically kiss Felix, as well? If given the opportunity."

"Only if he wants me to kiss him," Minho, forever the king of consent, replied.

"Perfect!" Jisung was beaming with excitement and finally disclosed the first step of his grand scheme. "Then, we can both start courting him! In a totally real, non-hypothetical way."

"Aren't you forgetting something important?" Minho was quick to dissolve the fantasy that Jisung had already painted in his mind. "What would Y/N think about all this?"

"Trust me, she's totally whipped for Felix," Jisung waved him off. "But she probably won't do anything about it 'cause she'll think of it as betraying us. So, if we make our advances obvious enough, she might grow bolder when it comes to her interest in Felix."

"Are you suggesting we trick her?"

"It's not really tricking someone if it's for the common good," Jisung insisted.

"What about Felix? Do you think there's a chance of our affections for him being...requited?"

"My hamster hybrid senses are tingling, so I'm pretty sure he'll fall for us if he hasn't already."

"There is no such thing as hamster hybrid senses, you just made that up, honey," Minho called out his boyfriend lovingly.

Felix's POV

Felix noticed that his Minho-hyung and Jisung had started acting different around him. Whenever Minho had cooked meat, he would give Felix the best pieces. Felix felt this was unfair so he always tried to share his pieces with Y/N but she didn't seem to mind that Felix was getting special treatment and yet, expressed her opinion that she preferred milk. Minho would also bring him random gifts even if there wasn't a particular occasion. As for Jisung, while he previously spent a lot of time in the room he was sharing with Y/N, he would now visit Felix quite often. Before that the two boys would mostly play video games together or watch movies, but now Jisung appeared intent on complimenting him 24/7 and saying weird stuff about the stars on his face. All of this made Felix feel quite flustered. On the one hand, he was enjoying all the attention the older boys were giving him. On the other hand, he felt slightly guilty because he didn't want his Y/N-noona to get upset like before. She was always so kind to him, letting him rant about how terrible his life had been before. Felix thought she was a great listener.

One afternoon, while Felix was minding his own business, making cookies, as one does, he felt unexpected movement behind him, followed by Minho wrapping his arms tightly around his back.

"W-what are you doing, M-minho-hyung?" Felix stammered in surprise.

"I'm just hugging you from behind. Is that okay with you?" Minho's velvety voice responded in a perfectly composed manner.

"I mean...yeah. It was just a bit sudden."

"Sudden?" Minho scoffed mockingly. "Don't pretend you have no idea what you're doing to me."

Felix felt something hard pressing against his ass and his cheeks flushed with colour. He gulped nervously, unable to think logically.

"Hyuuung," Felix whined. "This isn't right."

"Relax, I won't do anything to you. Unless..."

"Unless what?" Felix clung onto that one word like it was a straw and he was a drowning man.

"Unless you want me to do something to you. Unless you ask me nicely."

"It's not that I don't want you, hyung," Felix semi-confessed. "But you're dating Jisung and Y/N..."

"They'll be fine with it, trust me," Minho tried to reassure the younger boy.

"They will?" Felix asked doubtfully.

"I'm sure they like you, too. The question is, what do you like? Or perhaps, who?"

Felix finally gathered the courage to turn around and face Minho as he said the following words:

"I like you. And Y/N-noona. And Jisung. I like everyone. Is that...greedy of me?"

Felix looked down in shame, suddenly feeling embarrassed by the fact he'd spoken his most intimate thoughts out loud. Minho, however, seemed to have another preference, so he used one finger to lift Felix's chin up.

"It's not. It just means you have great taste," Minho announced triumphantly. "Can I kiss you?"

"Y-yes, please."

Minho didn't wait any longer and he pressed his lips against Felix's, gently exploring his mouth with his tongue. Felix felt like if he didn't grab something, he would pass out, so he wrapped his hands around Minho's neck, pulling him closer. Air was optional. Felix was willing to drown into the depth of this kiss. Minho was the first to put distance between their mouths but only because there was so much more he wanted to do to and with Felix.

"Can I touch you?"

"You can do anything to me," Felix immediately agreed without thinking and Minho didn't need to be told twice. He sneaked his hand inside Felix's pants and wrapped it around his semi-hardened length, stroking him effortlessly until Felix was moaning into Minho's neck and begging for the sweet release to come faster.

"Pleeease, I'll be good, please let me come," he whined.

"Do you like being that loud? Do you get off on thinking Jisung and Y/N may hear you?"

Felix immediately froze. Even though Minho had told him his boyfriend and girlfriend wouldn't mind, he still felt like he was doing something forbidden. But his neediness was stronger than any shame he might have experienced.

"Shut me up, then," he challenged with a mischievous grin.

Minho chuckled, amused by Felix's behaviour.

"You don't know what you just signed up for," he warned threateningly. Felix thought he was devastatingly handsome. Then, Minho stuck two of the fingers on his free hand into Felix's mouth. "Now be a good boy for me, suck on them and keep quiet for me, yeah?"

Felix nodded dutifully and focused his attention on successfully achieving the task at hand (pun-intended). Before he could get them wet enough, Minho increased the speed of his other hand's movements. Soon enough, Felix released himself, probably making a huge mess.

"What do you want to do next?" Minho asked.

"I want to make you come in my mouth," Felix said directly. His initial hesitation and stammering had somehow vanished.

"Felix, you don't have to-" Minho started, overwhelmed by Felix's determination.

"I know. But I still want to," Felix insisted and dropped on his knees, pulling Minho's jeans down. He couldn't stop his jaw from dropping upon seeing the size of it.

"Aww, what's wrong, sweetie?" Minho cooked mockingly. "Afraid it won't fit?"

"We'll make it fit," Felix replied bravely and began running his tongue up and down Minho's length. Then, he hungrily sucked on the tip, swirling his tongue around and trying to figure out what worked best for Minho.

"Shit," he groaned with pleasure and dug his nails into the scalp of Felix's hair.

Felix smirked at the revelation he was doing a good job and kept repeating the same movements, occasionally trying to fit more of it into his mouth. No matter how hard he tried, though, Felix couldn't take it all but he decided that was an aim for another day. His current goal was to make Minho come. He sucked on it more passionately and began humming against his cock, the vibrations sending bursts of pleasure to Minho's brain. Soon enough, Minho reached his high, barely managing to stand straight. However, he pulled away too quickly and before Felix could close his mouth, some of Minho's cum began spilling out of his mouth, mixed with Felix's drooling. The younger boy looked up at his hyung.

"Did I do good?" he asked with pleading eyes.

"You did great, Lix. You're the best boy," Minho caressed his cheek, ruffled his hair and helped him up on his feet, grabbing some tissues to gently wipe Felix's mouth. That was the action that brought Felix back to reality. And he noticed something very concerning.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed in a panicked tone.

"What's wrong?" Minho was worried he'd done something to hurt this precious angel.

"My cookies. They burned," Felix explained with a sad expression.

Reader's POV

You only wanted to get some milk from the fridge. You didn't expect to hear all these sounds and see all these interesting things in the kitchen. You stayed there for a couple of moments wondering if they'd notice you but Minho and Felix seemed too preoccupied with...whatever they had going on. What confused you to no end was that you didn't feel any jealousy upon witnessing Felix in your boyfriend's embrace. On the contrary, you felt a surge of excitement coursing through your veins. And the only person you were comfortable confiding in was Jisung. So, you went back to the room you were sharing with the hamster hybrid because you needed to talk.

"Ji, you won't believe what I just saw!" you exclaimed.

"Try me," Jisung smirked knowingly.

"Minho and Felix were making out in the kitchen! Right in front my hypothetical salad!"

"What salad?" Jisung was confused.

"Nevermind the salad. The point is...I didn't feel angry or jealous. To be honest, it was kinda hot. Oh, who am I kidding? It was very hot. What's wrong with me? Why do I feel like this?" you ranted.

"There's nothing wrong with you. It just proves my suspicions were correct and you are attracted to Felix, as well."

"As well?" you repeated.

"Yeah, Minho and I have a bit of a crush on him. Also, I'm so glad you don't feel angry. That means my idea to get us all together will be a tremendous success!"

"Wait...you planned all this?" you gaped in surprise.

"Guilty as charged," Jisung shrugged.

"What about Felix? How does he feel...about me?" you gathered enough courage to ask.

"Judging by my conversations with him, he views all three of us as desirable partners."

"Desirable? What is this, a Jane Austen novel?" you teased your boyfriend.

"Shh, don't act like you're not the biggest Pride and Prejudice nerd," Jisung called you out affectionately.

"Welp...since I can't go against you for making this plan behind my back, I can at least give Minho something to look at next time I get the opportunity," you grinned mischievously.

"Go get him, tiger," Jisung rooted for you.

"Don't you dare tell him a word or I'm gonna...throw rocks through your window."

"Did you just TikTok-threaten me?"

"Consider yourself warned, handsome," you winked.

Han's POV

Jisung was watching funny hamster videos on his phone when his benevolent boyfriend decided to grace him with his elite presence.

"Hi," Minho greeted him awkwardly. Oh, that was amusing. Jisung had never seen him so painfully nervous. It was kinda cute. Okay, nevermind, it was very cute.

"Hi?" Jisung repeated, prompting him to speak his mind.

"Um, so I kinda just cheated on you and Y/N," Minho blurted out.

"First of all, you were the one who said it technically doesn't count as cheating," Jisung reminded him. "Second of all, this whole thing was MY idea and yet, you somehow got your hands on Felix before me? How unfair!"

"What can I say," Minho smirked confidently. "I'm impossible to resist."

"Impossibly infuriating, that's what you are," Jisung stuck his tongue out at him. "Also, don't bullshit me, I'm willing to bet you seduced poor Lix."

"Hey, he's not as innocent as you might think."

"Only 'cause you're obsessed with corrupting everyone around you," Jisung pointed out.

Minho shook his head in amusement and leaned his head slightly down in an attempt to kiss Jisung, who apparently had other plans. He quickly placed his palm between their lips, earning a frown from his boyfriend.

"How shameless! You go around making out with other men and then want me to take you back? Nuh-uh, mister, you're not getting away with this so easily."

"There is no other men, plural," Minho groaned in a displeased tone, because his advances had just gotten so rudely rejected. "It's just Felix. Remember him? The guy you literally asked me to court?"

"Hmm, it doesn't ring a bell," Jisung played dumb as a joke. "Care to remind me how he tastes?"

"Remind you?" Minho gasped in shock. "But you said...you said I'd gotten my hands on him before you? And...when I approached Lix, he acted like he wasn't aware of your feelings for him."

"Oh, please," Jisung chuckled naughtily. "Did you really think I have enough self-restraint to resist him? We tricked you."

"I should never trust a Virgo man ever again," Minho sighed.

"I bet it was a huge ego boost when you thought you were his first," Jisung teased him. "Sorry to burst your bubble."

"Come here, you heathen," Minho growled and pulled Jisung into a kiss he couldn't prevent from happening. Not this time.

Lee Know's POV

Minho tugged on Jisung's hair, pulling his head slightly back so that his boyfriend's neck was exposed for the taking. He began biting on it hungrily, leaving little lovebites after him. Jisung moaned into the feeling and Minho could swear he would never grow tired of this sound. Then, he kissed him once again, their tongues fighting for dominance. Minho's hand was lightly wrapped around Jisung's neck, while Jisung's teeth were nibbling on Minho's lower lip. Soon after, Minho released his grip on Jisung's throat and began grinding against his boyfriend in an excruciatingly slow manner.

"Don't tease," Jisung complained.

"Oh, Hannie, I'm only getting started," an evil smile painted Minho's delicate features, as he caressed Jisung's adorable cheeks. Minho began moving more rapidly, frustrating Jisung immensely.

"Fucking hell," Jisung moaned loudly. "Touch me already."

"Do you kiss our angels with that mouth?" Minho raised his eyebrows in a playfully scolding manner.

"I'll kiss whoever the fuck I want," Jisung said through gritted teeth.

"Ah, really?" Minho chuckled mockingly. "In that case, I suppose you wouldn't mind if I didn't touch you? I guess anyone else can help you with your little problem."

"Do you expect me to beg?" Jisung hissed.

"You said it, not me," Minho feigned innocence.

If it was anyone else, Minho was certain that Jisung wouldn't have given in so easily. But because he trusted him, Jisung did what he had to do.

"Honeeey, please, I need you so badly," he whined.

"Try harder," Minho grinned in anticipation.

"Please, touch me, hyung, I'm begging you," Jisung really went all out.

Minho decided he wasn't patient enough to torment him any further and he gave his sweetheart what he wanted, pulling his cock out of his jeans and moving his hand up and down his length.

"Shit, you're so good at this," Jisung panted as Minho sped up the pace at which he was touching him.

"Try not to come yet," Minho reminded him. Jisung nodded absent-mindedly.

However, it felt so heavenly that Jisung couldn't manage to warn him on time he was close and came without permission, which was something Minho generally disliked.

"I'm sorry, I...it just happened," Jisung explained after he had recovered from the bliss.

"You brought this on yourself, darling," Minho sighed and unbuckled his belt, using it to bind Jisung's hands wrists behind his back.

"No, please, anything but that!" Jisung almost screamed in a panic. Minho knew how much his boyfriend adored touching him, so taking that away from him was the only appropriate punishment. "Honeeey, please."

But no matter how cutely Jisung pleaded, Minho refused to back down. He turned him around, using him as he saw fit until they both lost count of how many times they saw galaxies together. Finally, when Jisung was too exhausted to move, Minho untied him and cleaned him up carefully. Then, he scooped him up into his arms, kissing his forehead.

"You did so good for me, baby," Minho praised him.

"Welcome home, cheater," Jisung murmured sleepily.

Felix's POV

Felix was chilling in the living room, thinking about how nice it felt to be surrounded by such a welcoming company as Minho and Jisung. If only he could grow closer to Y/N, as well. As if on cue, she walked in, intent on having a conversation with him.

"Um, hey, Lix, can we talk?"

"Did I do something wrong, noona?" he asked nervously upon seeing the serious expression on her face.

"What? No, you've been nothing but an angel," she reassured him.

"If this is about me and Minho-hyung, I swear, he told me you'd be okay with it. I wouldn't have done it anyway. I'm really sorry..."

"Relax, Felix," Y/N placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'm not angry. If anything, it's me who should apologize. I really misjudged you and I feel terrible for experiencing such a toxic feeling as jealousy."

"I don't think you should apologize," Felix insisted. "If I was in your shoes, I would have probably felt jealous, as well."

"Would you have?" she regarded him with suspicion. "Or would you have jumped at the opportunity to have more than one significant other?"

Felix gulped anxiously. Was he so transparent?

"I mean...when you put it that way..."

"Tell me what you want me to do," she asked.

"Sit back down," he suggested boldly.

Y/N approached him slowly and took the chance to seat herself in Felix's lap.

"I'm sat," she chuckled.

Reader's POV

You wrapped your arms around Lix's neck and smiled at him fondly.

"Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?"

"M-me? P-pretty?" Felix stammered.

"Absolutely. Your eyes, your freckles, your lips, every detail about you is so captivating," you whispered, placing kisses on his face after each word.

"Stahpp, you're too kind," Felix blushed.

"I'm only stating the truth," you clarified. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

You ran your fingers through his hair, hoping it'd help him loosen up a bit.

"It's not that, I just...think you're prettier, noona," Felix surprised you with this unexpected compliment and pulled you into an overwhelmingly delicate kiss. He tasted so sweet. Like...chocolate and heaven. Like dreams come true. He placed his hands around your lower back, making you feel closer than ever. Losing track of time, your lips kept chasing one another, while your bodies were cuddled up together. Suddenly, you heard the door behind you being opened. You smirked against Felix's lips. Right on time.

"Are we interrupting something?" you heard Jisung's voice.

You quickly turned around to face the intruders.

"It's not what you think," you feigned innocence, blinking rapidly. "We were just cuddling platonically."

You were hoping to get a reaction out of Minho as you stared into his dark eyes. But the asshole didn't even flinch. He just looked...amused.

"Mind if I join the platonic cuddle pile?" Jisung asked casually.

"Be my guest," you shrugged.

Jisung rushed in to squeeze his arms around you and Felix. You gave the hamster hybrid a conspiratorial wink. It was only a matter of time to see how long it will take Minho to crack.

"Aren't you going to join us, as well, Minho-hyung?" Felix wanted to know.

"Not a chance," Minho rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on, admit it," you teased him. "You want to cuddle us just as badly."

Minho considered this for a couple of moments but instead of responding to the hug proposal, changed the subject.

"So...I guess you already figured it out," he said vaguely. "About...the change of dynamics."

"Whatever do you mean?" you played dumb, hoping Minho would admit his actions first.

"You know what I mean," he hissed.

"Enlighten me, please," you kept pushing his buttons.

"Ugh, fiiine," Minho groaned and instead of confessing, his actions spoke louder than words, as he reluctantly joined the group hug. "But if you tell someone outside of this room, you're dead."

"How about Chan-hyung?" Felix pouted.

"I wasn't threatening you, Lix. You did nothing wrong ever."

"Erm, is it just me who sees that or is Lix kinda privileged?" you joked.

"Tragically, we have been dethroned and Minho has a new favourite pet," Jisung responded to your observation.

"Hey, hey, hey! I'm not a pet!" Felix complained indignantly.

"Guys, relax," Minho sighed exasperatedly. "My heart is big enough for all of you."

"You know what they say about guys with big hearts?" you couldn't stop yourself teasing him further. It was too amusing.

"Babe, you've been spending too much time with Chan-hyung," Jisung grunted. "We're getting tired of all these dad jokes."

"They say they have even bigger...homes," Felix offered a wholesome answer to your question.

"I'm pretty sure it was something about big tiddies, but I'll roll with Felix's version, it's pretty cute," you replied.

"You guys are incorrigible," Minho complained. "You're lucky I love you."

Silence dominated the room. How on earth had he let that slip so casually? This man kept surprising you. In order to make the situation less awkward, you used humour once again:

"Minho? Said the L-word? I can't believe my ears."

"Say it again. Pleaseee," Jisung begged adorably.

"One more time for all three of us?" Felix tried to bargain.

Lee Know's POV

Minho opened his mouth, intending to argue but somehow, he found himself repeating those three words. It was impossible to say no to his favourite beings in the entire world. After all the heartfelt confessions were exchanged, there was still something left unsaid:

"Does that mean all four of us are like...dating now?" Felix needed to ask.

"I mean, I thought it was self-explanatory," Minho replied. Y/N nodded in agreement and Minho gave her a grateful nod.

"Nuh-uh, don't listen to him," Jisung intervened. "I will court you and take you out on a proper date, Lix. And then, challenge Minho to a duel, the outcome of which will decided whether Felix-"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Minho was confused.

"Ji, I told you to stop reading all these medieval romances!" Y/N shook her head in amusement. "Also, it was a terrible idea to order that sword on Ebay."

"He ordered a what now?" Minho blinked in shock.

"Wow, life sure is never boring with the three of you, huh?" Felix observed, barely containing his giggles.

"I don't have anyone to practice it on!" Jisung complained loudly.

"You're NOT dueling our boyfriend!" Y/N scolded Jisung.

"Can I get a front row seat to the show?" Felix joked.

"This family makes me want to murder people," Minho facepalmed himself.

But despite that, Minho knew he wouldn't have it any other way. If his life had been perfect previously, it was more than that now. It was purrfect.

Sharing my heart It's tearing me apart But I know I'd miss you, baby, if I left right now

The End

[sunset-a-story]

Character Profile: Marek del Sol (and Baguette)

This week's profile is Marek! Art by my partner and co-writer.

Marek is one of the first POVs in the story and this doofus helps to keep things light even when everything is dark. While a lot of departments focus on missions and keeping knacked people under wraps, a portion of Uranus is more focused on the experience of their fellow Sol agents at home and that's where Marek has found his calling. He cares about people's comfort and morale--and he takes a lot of pride in that.

Sure, he's high up on the SolCorp corporate ladder, but Marek refuses to take himself that seriously. He wants to bring the silly and won't hide the silly parts of himself including his love of hamsters. (He's 100% sure you want to see pictures of Baguette and he will show you.)

And I just love his big-ass nose.

See below the transcript for an excerpt with Marek. Transcript:

Marek del Sol (he/him/his) Knack: Teleporter Affiliation: SolCorp Department: Head of Uranus (And yes, he's probably already made whatever jokes you're thinking) Age: 38 Height: 6'2"

Big 3: Sun=Aquarius; Moon=Gemini; Rising=Sagittarius

Favorites:

Color- Green

Music- Gorillaz, They Might Be Giants, Cake

Food- Reuben sandwich

Drink- IPA

Movie- Young Frankenstein

Hobbies:

Flirting + Hookups

Taking photos of his hamster, Baguette

Travel + exploring new places

Fun Facts:

Bisexual icon (and total cliche)

Head of HR, yet has a stack of relationship declarations taller than anyone

Big heart

Goofiness covers up just how competent he really is

Very dedicated to employee morale

Created the pet program to make HQ feel like ~*Home*~

Sends out "Baguette Updates" as department-wide memos

Too casual for his station

[Marek, having gone to the office extra early, has just found out there is going to be a significant upset in their department and needs an excuse to talk to Emmett, one of his officers, away from the office.] He dumped his stuff in his office and hit the breakroom. Grabbing a coffee mug, he dumped in two sugar packets and teleported to Emmett’s quarters just inside the door. “Emmett, good morning,” he called out. The entryway was still dark so he guessed he hadn’t gotten up yet. “I brought you coffee.” He added quieter, “Sort of.” “Marek?” Emmett’s voice had said his name but his tone said, ‘What the fuck?’ “The one and only. Probably.” “Just a sec.” Marek flipped the light and walked, heel to toe, through his kitchen. He debated if he had time to brew a batch of coffee right then but Emmett’s coffee maker was so fancy-looking he didn’t trust himself not to press all the wrong buttons and accidentally fax China or something. “What’s going on?” Emmett came out into the kitchen in jeans and a soft looking sweater. He looked harried and there was still a slight patterning of pillow on one side of his face. “I brought you a beverage,” he smiled. He just stared at him. “Why?” Marek looked to one side. “It’s Tuesday?” Emmett shook his head and grabbed the mug from his hands. He froze, mug halfway to his body staring at the mug of sugar. “Just add coffee,” Marek offered. "Marek--" "Beverage Tuesday," Marek explained with conviction. "New initiative." "It's not Tuesday." Marek pointed at him. "That explains why the coffee is late."

Sunset taglist. Comment to add or remove yourself. I try to keep it to character profiles, release updates, and long excerpts. @words-after-midnight @thathaunteddoll @chayscribbles  @elizaellwrites @theimperiumchronicles @thatndginger @clairelsonao3 @writeintrees @hon3yquill @scribe-of-stories @kahvilahuhut @stuffaboutwriting @iced-ginger-tea

[amporella]

what are your pet headcanons for the sp characters? like what animals would they own if they did?

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION... HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS (though a few of them are canon):

Stan: He is SUCH a dog person. Like, he's an animal lover all the way, but dogs are definitely his favorite. His dream house has like five dogs in it. And while he loves all kinds of dogs, he's definitely more of a large dog breed kind of person. He wants to come home to his big Lab or German Shephard or whatever getting up and putting its paws on his shoulders and licking his face. He just loves his dogs!!

Kyle: THIS IS AN INTERESTING ONE. I think that he is definitely more of a cat person than a dog person (both by personality and that dogs are generally a little messier), but I can't imagine that he'd be thrilled with constantly vacuuming hair from his couch. He would deal with it because he loves his cats, but I can also see him dodging the issue entirely and getting hairless/hypoallergenic cats that don't tend to shed a lot. Either way, he would definitely spend a LOT of time thinking before he ever made the leap to getting one.

Kenny: RATS! I know he had Mr. Possy in Phone Destroyer, but possums don't make very good pets, so I think he would probably settle for leaving food outside for them instead of actually owning them. BUT he would own rats. They're such clever little quirky guys, and they're low maintenance enough that a busy guy like Kenny could have some and still keep them happy. He also strikes me as being able to bond with rats over also often being misunderstood but actually very very smart.

Butters: He would get a budgie!!! A little parakeet. They're very social and affectionate birds and Butters would return ALL of that tenfold. He would just casually talk to his bird a lot, and he would be very very good at teaching it phrases. The Chaos Hamsters are good, but his parakeet can actually say 'chaos' and that was like the best day of his life. His budgie would really be his constant companion.

Craig: He is a guinea pig guy for his whole life. If he had to choose another pet it would be a cat, but I don't think he'd vary from guinea pigs if he didn't have to. He likes his pets cute and inherently fairly low maintenance, BUT he turns it into a really high maintenance job because he would dote over those guinea pigs like it's his job. When TFBW said guinea pigs were one of the two things Craig cared about they weren't kidding; those guinea pigs live a life of absolute luxury. He names all of them Stripe.

Tweek: FERRETS. I asked a friend about this one and I didn't even consider ferrets but now I know they're correct. They're cute and mischievous, and generally very charming in a very Tweek-like way. Them being super curious and playful would just bring a lot of light to his home, and would probably help him destress! They would definitely try and steal and hide his Legos, though. Hermit crabs and/or fish are also options for him! He loves watching them move. They're just so fun. He would like their fun shells.

Clyde: He is also SUCH a dog guy. He owns a huge dog and it sits on his lap all the time and he's totally cool with it. He's the kind of guy to have a bumper sticker talking about his dog and to mention his dog first in his Tinder profile. He is basically a puppy boy himself so there is no reason for him not to own a dog!!

Tolkien: Owns the most spoiled cat on the face of the Earth, BUT would also own a very regal looking dog. And could possibly own a bird too. He has a LOT of room for pets and I don't think he would stick to only one!! He's very smart about biting off only as much as he can chew in terms of pet amount, but he also owns a bunch of different pets throughout his life.

Jimmy: HE ALSO GIVES ME BIRD VIBES. A cockatoo in particular! He's very talkative, and so is his pet. He would practice his comedy routines on it and teach it to laugh when he finishes a joke. It's basically his comedy wingman. He'd devote so much time into teaching his bird new words and he'd definitely love every second of it.

Wendy: Definitely a cat person and pretty similar to Kyle with her reasoning, but generally a little less concerned about the hair. And regardless of what pet she ended up getting, she would definitely train it. She leans towards very clever breeds of cat and probably somehow manages to teach them to read. She could also get a bird! She's very capable no matter what pet she has.

Bebe: Also a dog person as opposed to a cat person! Would go on a lot of jogs with her dog. However, if she didn't have a dog, she would get chinchillas instead! They can be very playful and active, and they're pretty enough that she'd be content chilling with them until she gains their trust.

Nichole: She would get reptiles and nobody would expect it!!! She has the most beautiful elegant ball python that just chills on her shoulder when it's out of its cage, and she's so unbothered by it. She is extremely fearless and Stan is literally terrified. Ball pythons live super long too if you take good care of them, so she has this one python for ages and loves it very dearly.

Heidi: Honestly, I can see her as a horse girl. She strikes me as the type for whatever reason!! Alternatively, she could also have a few cute mice that are just very snuggly with her. She needs to either have a huge pet or a very very tiny pet.

[anactualcoward]

jk, I got myself pissed off thinking about that family member again.

The guy is the paternal figure of my spouse and I never felt any hostility or had issues with him, despite often not seeing eye-to-eye with him, for the first ~10yrs of knowing him.....but goddamn the guy just gets on my nerves now. Today one of his reoccurring jokes got to me bad and I ended up directly telling him to stop....something you do NOT do with him. luckily I'm a woman and we were at his elderly mothers house. had it been elsewhere or said by my spouse....ahhhg, the man has seriously threatened him and gotten in his face before so again, I feel extremely lucky to have gotten away with saying what I did.

Essentially, the guy hates any sort of inconvenience to his life: events, people, technology, whatever. If something doesn't go his way or complicates his situation he loses patience in an instance, whines, gets mad about it, or completely ejects those things from his life. Unfortunately this includes animals :/ He talks about pets as if they are an object to possess and toss once they become inconvenient or cause you to do more work than you want. Admittedly, I don't necessarily think all of that is a bad take; It's good to recognize your limits and to not overburden yourself. however....HOW he talks/jokes about it and how minor an inconvenience it takes for him to suggest getting rid of pets has always rubbed me the wrong way.

So my spouse and I have a few cats. we love them to death, and despite the extra work and stress that comes with them, we value them as family members. My spouse will sometimes share the things that stress him out regarding the cats with the guy...which....are really stressful things (occasional fighting/bullying, messes made, and the worst offender, UTI flare ups/bad litter manners + the smell of cat pee). It is a lot to deal with, but we take the responsibility seriously.

anyway, the guy likes to make a joke about "leaving them (a pet) at Lake Ray Hubbard" (or any local lake, really) pretty often and will explain that "there's a chance that they'll be fine" or that "they might find a new family." What's crazy is that he would always explain and giggle about it as if it was not extremely messed up. And what's worse is that he pretty much suggests that he knows a cat or whatever won't survive, but "*shrug* they shouldn't have made so much noise" or whatever inconvenience he's joking about. I'm pretty sure he has actually done something like this.... when my SO was a kid, the guy made him take his hamster to a field and leave it there after it bit him or was making too much noise running in its wheel, idr. Fucked up imo, but despite finding out about that i still wouldn't look too deep into the banter/joke. I just gave him the benefit of the doubt that the guy was just an idiot and hadn't actually thought it through...like I believed he thought a new family would find the animal or didn't understand he was leaving an animal for dead. And i would laugh it off despite it being uncomfortable to hear, at least until this visit.

The cats have come up a few times during this visit and, like clock work, he responds to stressors by suggesting it's another reason to leave them at Lake Ray Hubbard. After the ~8th lake joke in 4 days I responded that I would leave HIM at the lake. He laughs, and says what? I told him "I would rather leave you at the lake than our cat". I did not expect him to respond to that with a slightly confused face.."yeah but I would survive." I said "exactly, that's why I'd leave you and not the cat?!"

then it fucking hits me. this man DOES understand that he is suggesting leaving animals for dead. like....that seems to be the punchline, THAT is what is so funny about saying it. I think it took about 3 or 4 more times of hearing the joke that I had enough. I straight told him "I'm going to leave you at the lake if you keep saying that. It's extremely rude to, so please stop"

silence. I can feel my poor husband dying....Ive been having a hard time not challenging this guy since he blew up on my husband and we both realized how abusive he had been to my husband growing up. I was suppose to be good, not give any push back this trip....NONE. but fuck, I just did.... I can see my hands starting to shake. Thankfully after a moment of silence the guy decides to lay down in another room (i can alnost guarantee he was livid).

I ended up apologizing for getting confrontational after his nap, and he seemed to be fine after taking time to himself. I was hoping we could talk about it more but...I think I'm done seeing him as someone I can actually develop a relationship with. I think I'm going to just see of him as an old person that says stupid, fucked up shit, and not take him seriously anymore. Would make his bullshit a lot easier to shrug off

[pedrito-friskito]

hiding my heart - javier peña

summary: javi feels more than a little broken coming back from colombia, and then there you are, changing everything.

warnings: none really, a bit of angst, a whole lot of fluff, quick mention of blood/nightmares but nothing explicit

a/n: no idea where this came from. been really into domestic/fluffy javier peña and here we are. I have a few more ideas that tie into this (one of them being specific smut that I can’t get out of my head) so there will probably be more/a series list eventually

**I’m tagging people in stuff now (who am I wow) - if you want to be added to anything specific (series/characters/actors/genres) send me a message and let me know or reply to a story ☺️ thank you so so so much to everyone who’s reblogged or liked or replied to what I’ve posted so far!

(main masterlist) (series masterlist) (ao3)

Javi’s always been good with details. He’s observant. He likes to watch, to notice, to see things before the unfold, making a guessing game of what comes next. It helped in Colombia obviously; it made him a better agent, best that he could be anyhow.

And now, shell of the man he once was, slowly putting the pieces back together that had been shattered by everything he’d done, everything he’d seen, it helps more, the watching, the noticing. You help more, but Javier does what he can, noticing you more than anything else. It’s a new mystery to focus on, a much safer puzzle for him to suss out.

It’s not a sexual thing, per se. Although, if you wanted that, he’ll be the first to admit he’d be in wholeheartedly. But it’s other things. Smaller things. Things that don’t mean life and death, just mean the difference between a tiny grin on your lips and a broad smile. Better things.

Right from the get-go, he wanted to know everything about you. You joked on your first date that it felt more like an interrogation, and Javi had done his best to hide the gut-punch feeling, casting his eyes into the nearly empty tumbler of whiskey between his fingers. He tried to keep that shit-eating grin, the bravado, to hide the fact that he didn’t want it to be like that, things had to be different. He had to be different.

But you noticed.

You reached across the table, your warm hands taking his between them, rubbing the soft pad of your thumb over his rough knuckles. “I didn’t mean it like that,” you’d said quietly, eyes trained on your intertwined hands. “I’m an open book, Javier. I’ll tell you anything you wanna know; I just ask one thing in return.”

He couldn’t meet your eyes, then. A feeling he had no name for was slinking up the back of his throat, keeping his head down, his eyes glued to the alcohol in his glass. “What’s that?” he asked.

One of your hands lifted, index and middle fingers suddenly beneath his chin, lifting his face until he was staring at you. He was lost in your eyes instantly, drowning in the bottomless colour he had no name for. Had he ever seen eyes like yours? Had he ever felt this magnetic pull so immediately?

Javier was so lost, so drawn in by your gaze, that he nearly missed your response: “Don’t hide from me.”

And since that night, he’d tried his hardest not to.

To your credit, you’ve done as you said; you’ve told him anything he wanted to know. Where you went to school, your favourite perfume, the name of your childhood pet. He’s so…intrigued by you. It’s strange, he thinks; he looks at you, and it’s as if he’s known you a million years. Like his soul’s been wandering around aimlessly, waiting to fall into step beside yours, and now he’s playing catch-up, needing every tiny detail he’s missed.

The answers: Ann Arbour, anything with jasmine, and a hamster named Mr. Pickles.

It’s been fast, and Javi knows it. He knows he dove headfirst into you, but in retrospect, he doesn’t think it was something he ever had any say in. It was instantaneous, a chemical reaction, literal fireworks that made him lose his breath the moment you walked into the room. It was three months in, and he was telling you he loved you, fumbling for the words and staring down at his hands like he had on your first date, then your fingers under his chin, leaning up on your toes to kiss his stuttering mouth and returning the words with your own.

Another month, and you’d packed up your things into the back of his truck, everything you couldn’t live without in a box or suitcase, only to be unloaded on the Peña ranch. He’d swept you into his arms and carried you across the threshold, tickling your sides as he went, and you’d laughed so hard you’d cried.

Most things, you tell. Other things, Javi notices. He picks up on the things he doesn’t quite know how to ask about, things that just appear to him, sliding into his own daily routine as easily as you do.

You love the farmer’s markets on the weekend, and it’s a rare occurrence for you to leave without at least two bouquets of flowers. Usually hydrangeas, sometimes tulips, always your last purchase of the day before you’re climbing back into his truck with your things. You like the blue hydrangeas, the petals edged in violet, or white tulips.

You go to visit your parents one weekend, and Javi drives to the farmer’s market, buys every hydrangea they have, and when you come home, the ranch house that once belonged to his parents, the house you now both call home, is filled with the things, the air rich and perfumed.

You only like soup when you’re sick. You like hot coffee during the week and iced tea on the weekends. There’s a tiny spot behind your ear that makes you melt into his grip if he kisses it just so. You like his moustache, but like it even more when there’s a bit of stubble on his chin. Your favourite colour changes like the weather, and you call your mother every Thursday night.

And Javi knows it shouldn’t be strange to him, that he shouldn’t be surprised at it, knowing you as he does, but you notice things too. About him.

He’s always up before you, and always reaches for the same cup, the coffee-stained white mug that lives in front of the coffee machine on the counter. It’s silly superstition, he knows, some habit he picked up; it was one of the only things he brought back from his apartment in Colombia, had carefully wrapped it in his socks for the flight. You rotate through different mugs, favouring the large ones his parents had left behind, but without fail, that white mug is always waiting for him, the handle nearly molded to his grip. Coffee doesn’t taste the same in a different mug.

You make him breakfast in bed on his birthday — the one celebration he’d allowed, declining your request for anything more. The plate is piled high with eggs and bacon and toast, and sure enough, there’s his mug, coffee perfectly made to his liking. Such a small thing, but it hits him in the heart like a lightning bolt.

And it’s not the only thing you’ve picked up on.

He gets clingy when he’s sick. He likes cold beers during the week and neat whiskey on the weekends. He turns into a puddle when you put your hand at the small of his back and kiss the curve of his throat. He likes your hair down, but something about seeing it up in a high ponytail drives him wild. His favourite colour is blue, and he drives to the nursing home to see his parents every Sunday.

It’s give and it’s take and sometimes, it’s hard. Sometimes it’s screaming at each other in blind rages, hurling words until you can’t even remember what you’re fighting about. That happens more often than not, the two of you finding space to yourself at opposite ends of the house, waiting for hot tempers to cool before reconciling, sincere apologies turning into soft kisses and silent dances in each other’s arms.

Javier quickly realizes that if there was anything he needed after Colombia, anything that could be a sure-fire cure to the darkness that plagues his mind, it would be you. You, bright sunshine through dark clouds, peering through his haziness and pulling him through it, depositing him back on solid ground, showing him everything he’d been missing with his head buried in the jungle down south.

It’s not a cure, though, not completely, and slowly, he comes to accept it. At first, he thinks it’ll scare you off, that his twitching nightmares and quick temper will get the better of him, and then you’ll be gone from his life as quickly as you’d appeared, reduced to a phantom that slips through his fingers like sand.

But it never happens. The opposite does, in fact.

The first time it happens, it’s the first time you’ve spent the night at the house; it’s only been weeks at this point, both of you still a little unsure but unmistakably drawn together. When he’d asked you to come for the weekend, you’d accepted happily. He’d cooked you dinner and built a fire out back so you could watch the stars. Then he kissed you until he was sure he’d forget his own name and made love to you beneath the open sky.

Sleepy and sated, Javier had carried you back to the house, set you carefully in his bed, and curled around you, wishing for sweet dreams filled with the scent of your hair and the delicious way you’d said his name as pleasure overtook your body.

He got the exact opposite.

The dream was bloody and sporadic. He couldn’t make out details, fumbling his way through the landscape he’d studied so thoroughly, but couldn’t make sense of. There was so much blood on his hands, hot and thick, drowning him from the inside, someone screaming, guns firing, and then—

“Javier,” your soft voice came as he jolted awake, eyes flying open and hand flailing for the revolver he kept in the nightstand. You pulled at him, tried to grab his attention, but he was laser-focused, chest heaving breaths that turned to sobs he’d kept locked away for so long.

The gun clattered to the floor and you’d reached for him, your own eyes shining back at him as he searched for words, mouth opening and closing again and again until he gave up. He let you collect him into your arms, tilting his head into the crook of your neck, running one hand through his hair over and over and over while the other moved up and down his sweat-slick back. You rocked him slightly, murmuring in his ear.

“It was just a dream, Javi. You’re okay. You’re home. You’re safe. It was just a dream.”

It was a mantra he repeated in his head even long after you’d stopped talking, slowly moving to lie back down. He went with you, letting you guide him down, resting his head on your chest and caging you in with his arms, lulled to sleep by the gentle movement of your hand through his hair and the soft in-and-out of your breath.

Come morning, he was embarrassed. There wasn’t another word for it. Javier felt weak, felt ashamed that you had seen him like that. It wasn’t something he wanted to share, not yet, and he told you as much, told you that he was scared, that he thought it would scare you off.

You’d shook your head and held him close again, burying your face in his broad chest, looping your arms around his waist. “I told you not to hide from me, Javi,” you’d whispered, “and I meant it.”

The nightmares still come, occasionally, though they’ve been farther and farther apart since you entered his life, since you moved onto the ranch, since he put that shiny ring on your finger.

There are still new things, too, that he notices. Changes in your breath when he tries something new in the bedroom. The tone in your voice when you put your hands on your hips and call him Mr. Peña. The different tunes you hum when you’re cooking or baking, twirling around the kitchen.

He loves you, pure and simple, and he’ll keep on noticing until the day he dies.

[kadssp-main]

I was just rewatching Markiplier's FNAF VR playthrough and pfft- he really gave me Itto vibes for some reason? (Especially the way he plays with the plushies i have a feeling that Itto would do that too hahaha) ouhhhhh imagine if Itto was a YouTuber/Streamer! :0

-Itto Simp

Modern AU Itto as a Streamer/Youtuber

A/N: oh god the fnaf phase is coming back,,,,,,,,,, i mustn’t fall for it,,,

warnings: swearing

Characters: Itto

——————————————————————

Itto as a Streamer would probably be the funny type of stupid if you know what i mean.

he’ll do the stupidest shit and then be shocked as to why he died after he thought long and hard about how to pass the level he was stuck on.

if he played fnaf he’d probably act all confident and big and bad,,, but the second he gets jumpscared he’s screaming like a little kid and curling up in a ball in his gaming chair.

”i told you, chat i got thissss. watch, watch me win alright? i’ll do it— oh, hi chica.. chica nO AH—“ his mic doesn’t even pick up the scream he let’s out, it’s so loud he‘s probably broke it.

chat makes fun of him, calls him “big words” he doesn’t understand and then he googles it and eventually figures it all out.

”what the hell does “oh-bliv-e-us” mean?? hang on i’m lookin’ it up..”

calls his followers/chat “sunshine“ and then the chat goes crazy over him

”mornin’ sunshineeees how have you all been, hmm?”

the first time he played a vr game he kept tripping over the cords around him and falling, it doesn’t even faze him though, he hears a thud and when he takes off the vr headset he realizes he’s on the ground smh.

does make jokes and stupid comments to lighten the mood and to keep himself from shitting his pants when he’s playing horror games.

and those scale from him bringing up a funny memory out of nowhere to him roasting and talking back to the characters in the game even though they can’t hear him.

he has probably done cooking streams/videos…. and failed many times

HE JUST SEEMS LIKE HE WOULD FORGET AN INGREDIENT AFTER READING THE RECIPE ALOUD AND MAKING CHAT REMEMBER IT AND SPAM IT SO HE DOESNT FORGET.

poor chat has to be the smart ones most the time for him </3

they’ll correct him when he’s wrong, sometimes he asks chat and sometimes he doesn’t and just goes with what he thinks will work on the puzzle he’s been struggling with on stream for an hour even when chat is spamming, “NO IT’S THE OTHER DIRECTION“, “NO IT’S RED NOT GREEN!“ or “ITTO READ CHAT”

back to fnaf,,, with fnaf: sb i can totally imagine him listening to glamrock freddy explaining the directions and stuff and itto is nodding enthusiastically and then it turns into slow unsure nods as he stares at his screen with a puzzled and worried expression as it seems freddy will never stop the explanation anytime soon.

”okay so he said i do… this. alright and then— shit what else did he say? sunshines help me ahaha…”

he fails every “try not to laugh” challenge he ever does, he can’t win, his humor is so fucking stupid he wheezes and laughs so hard over a piece of bread falling over.

flirts with chat a LOT during streams/videos, also definitely looks up at his face cam and just smirks as he holds eye contact for a good minute before winking and chuckling to himself as he moves his attention back to the video/game on his screen.

chat screams and praises him constantly, especially whenever they see the horns attached to his headset being a new color every once in a while, but red is his and all their favorites<33

bonus: has a little beetle pet that he let’s chat see every once in a while, you can see the blurry outline of the small crate technically made for hamsters that he has his little beetle friend in and sometimes can see it actively moving around in there.

——————————————————————

likes and reblogs are appreciated

do not repost or use my work on any platform

[shepgarrus]

I've noticed something on my repeat playthrough of mass effect. We don't really see pets for the aliens outside of maybe the Krogan (and that's for varren fighting) so now I imagine post war Shep wanting a kitten or puppy and Garrus is incredibly confused. Shep has to explain humans history with working and companion animals. Garrus is even more confused afterward.

We don't see pets for humans either though...other than fish and the space hamster, which go from the store to the ship and stay there, but it's not like there's dogs and cats on the Citadel or anything? So I don't think we can really assume other species don't have similar pets either, they're probably just not allowed out of apartments or on the Citadel at all.

But thinking about the probability of other species having similar situations to humans with dogs or cats, symbiotic-ness/interconnected-ness of various species on individual planets during their evolution can be counted on I'd say. So it may be a function of if said animals were domesticateable and if domesticating them would improve their usefulness for their given function (or they saw that it could be improved by controlled breeding, though an understanding of that may not match up with a time period when domesticating wild animal is worth the risk). This would probably also depend on the intelligent species's diet, and how food sources were managed through their societal development.

But you mentioned Garrus so I'll just stick with turians lol. I generally have turians as very similar to humans on the social side based on similar social evolution trajectory (summarized: very social because of hunting in groups), so the potential is there in that regard imo. But o m g I just remembered a series of posts I made when I thought Harvesters were Palaven animals, so I'm going to say I'm inclined towards turians not domesticating any animals in the way we did dogs or cats but selfishly I really want them to have had dragons that they used in old old wars xDDD

Regardless of turians' history, I don't think Garrus would be confused by the concept - he's pretty smart - but he may find it surprising, and be wary or doubtful of keeping an animal (especially if Shepard's care of the fish/hamster was questionable). Tbh I can see him being like all those dads that are like "We're not keeping [pet]" Later: *loves pet more than anyone else* - he'd warm up to it to a degree that surprises him, and would definitely talk to it when Shepard isn't there (not out of embarrassment, but because when Shepard's there he talks to Shepard - though he would definitely use talking to the pet to make jokes about how [not] well Shepard's taking care of themselves).

[sscoutregimentss]

i know we as a collective society believe in gamer! eren supremacy. and yes, this is a good take. however, may i introduce to you: normie/fuckboy/jock eren with gamer/nerd gf. thoughts under the cut (safe for work, pg-13, also slight snk spoilers for season 3 and up!)

see, eren isnt necessarily a fuckboy. in fact, hes very loyal! he doesnt really think that way about any girls or guys except you. but hes popular romantically and had a reputation for sleeping around before he met you (not that theres anything wrong with that but ya know word travels fast across campus). plus, cmon the dude is in a frat, super hot and has a tongue piercing. he cant blame anyone for thinking he is a fuckboy bc he exudes the energy.

you are kind of the complete opposite. you dont really enjoy parties and you keep to yourself. you're a total wreck when it comes to flirting and your kinda oblivious to whenever people like you. you dont have many friends and are a bigger fan of 2d people than 3d.

either way eren finds you so so so cute. he first approached you at one of his frat parties. your roommates convinced you to come after she said that someone (read: connie) had a dance dance revolution mat, but you kinda just stuck around in a corner staring at your cup once you lost them. he looks you up and down-- your outfit was pretty cute, a short plaid orange pleated skirt, dress shirt, orange cardigan and black beret laying neatly upon your head. and your face... he couldn't help himself but try to talk to you. you were really anxious because wahhh scary sports guy you dont know but he was kinda instantly comforting? in a way? and he was freaking pretty. he looked like a final fantasy character--long haired characters were your type. the rest was kind of history.

a lot of people are shocked when they find out your dating bc you two are so different (some people are surprise eren “dates” at all) but no one dares question your relationship when they see how much eren dotes on you. he has so many polaroids of you in his wallet-- from the many arcade dates you bring him on where you decimate him at almost every game, you awkwardly posing in the hentai section of bookstores, or just candids of you being intensely focused on a puzzle in a game. whenever you guys go out to eat and somethings wrong with your meal, he'll send it back (in a polite way, of course, but hes still assertive.) or if you buy like a figurine and its misisng something hes marching up to the cashier stand for you. he always has an arm around your waist or is holding is hand in yours. sometimes you just cling onto his arm and rest your head on it (hes comfy!!!!! and you are always tired) your both pretty clingy, but you get kinda awkward when you two are around people you know so he just kinda subtly holds you as to not make a scene. its nice. hes comfy.

youve got dual monitors, a pc you made yourself, rgb keyboard, the whole nine yards. all your consoles are up to date and you keep a handheld system on you at all times. you spend most your weekends watching anime and movies and tv shows and your shelves are piled high with books and comic books. eren literally does not understand any of it. when you told him you built your pc he goes "you made all those microchippy things? youre soooo smart babe". when you talk about some of your weirder or more complicated animes he nods along but honestly he gets so lost ("so like, lemme get this straight, the kids dad's wife ate his mom?" "yeah but like she was turned into a titan so she didn't realllllly know it was the dads wife, but like she literally walks past this titan shifter so i think she knew." "thats crazy.") and he will never understand the point of otome games when hes literally right there. he actually has a really bad habit of getting jealous of characters you have a crush on but you just find it funny. sometimes he gets an ego boost when they look like him because even if they look like him he is actually real so they can suck it.

hes rlly supportive tho. erens a rlly passionate person and he loves you a lot so he pours a lot of passion into what you do. if you are into esports/fps games hes cheers you on all the time and does all the raging for you ("BABE THAT GUY IS STREAM SNIPING! HES STREAM SNIPING YOU HEY ASSHOLE STOP CHEATING OFF MY GIRLFRIEND" "eren he cant stream snipe me because i dont stream" "oh i thought that just meant cheating"/"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?" "eren its okay i can just report him" "NO NO LET ME AT HIM IF HE WANTS TO CALL YOU A BITCH I CAN CALL HIM MUCH WORSE" "um guys im gonna mute my mic for a second if you need me text chat") if youre into cozy games he likes to watch you play and gives you ideas on where to put things. like in minecraft he makes you put a second bed for him even though he doesnt play and he helps you name all your pets. you get a little less intense with cozy games so you sit on his lap and he lets his hair down puts his head on your shoulder and points at where you should place stuff. he still rages though? this is eren jaeger we are talking about. ("aw, she wont move to my island." "WHAT? who does that little ugly squirrel think she is? you think youre too good for MY y/n's island? i'll shave your unibrow off. then we'll see what island will want you" "leave hazel alone! shes cute!"/"dude that hamster guy with the glasses looks like armin" "graham? what? armin doesnt even wear glasses" "no no look at it more" "oh shit youre right") rpgs/otome games are kinda a wild card with how he acts. if its an otome game and the character looks like him he is more into helping you out because it reaffirms to him that you find him good looking but otherwise he is just sulking and calling them annoying ("princess y/n... i know im just a servant, but i want to be with you forever!" "pft. get a load of this guy. clingy much?" "its romantic! youre jealous.")

one of his favorite things to do with you is cuddle and watch anime. usually he lies his face on your thighs or chest while watching and you play with his hair or he holds you in his chest and you play with one of his hands while the other goes behind his head. he grew up on some of the classics like naruto sailor moon one piece pokemon and dbz but he never got super into it until he started dating you. you put him on to soooo many good shows (cartoons, anime, and live action) hes both a crier and he is a get-angrier(?). he gets mad on characters behalfs and you have to pause the show so he can rant about how annoying someone is or he feels so bad for someone so he has to take a minute because hes tearing up. he likes slice of life anime because the friendships <3 theyre so wholesome and they remind him of him armin and mikasa but he also likes shounen because it is entertaining to watch fights. he gets really into them actually. he also has this really bad habit of whenever there is a character with no parents or a dead mom he goes "oh same" or "welcome to the club buddy" under his breath. when theres a cute couple in an anime you both like guys get matching keychains of them unless one of them dies because he thinks its bad luck. his favorite animes are haikyuu, your lie in april and code geass.

you are equally supportive of erens volleyball career. you know all the rules because sports anime and you actually find yourself really liking it in 3d as well (it is lacking in bromance and screaming but you let it slide). you go to all his games and he always texts you before his practices. has a habit of kissing you before games and one day after he kisses you go "gg ez win" as a JOKE but then they like decimate their long time rival marley university and get into nationals (is that a thing for volleyball idk sports) so hes convinced its because you did your "gamer magic". now every time after getting his good luck kiss he interlocks your pinkies and you go "gg ez win" and he goes “yes.” because to this day he doesnt know what it means (he thinks googling it is like breaking the magic)

okay im gonna stop while im ahead BECAUSE I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I MIGHT JUST GO AHEAD AND WRITE SOME ONESHOTS....

[soulmate-game]

Finally another oneshot, after forever and a day. I’m weak for soulmate AUs. I think most of you know that already.

SO WHY NOT ANOTHER?! WOO!

This one is based on a prompt given to me a hella long time ago, idk who sent it to me. Tell me who you are so I can credit you! I wrote down the prompt for me to remember, it’s something like; “You can write letters to your soulmate, and they travel through time either to a moment your soulmate needs the letter most or to a random point in time to them.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Dear Myself.

I’m doing this for school. We have to write letters to our future self. I am nine years old right now, the year is 2009. I hope you found a cool job! I don’t know what to do yet. I like drawing though! Science is icky, so I hope you’re not a scientist. But if you are, and if it makes us happy, then I guess it’s okay. Be the best scientist you can! If you are all moved out, did you ever get a pet hamster? Hamsters are so cute!

Oh, but most important. Yesterday, I was bullied by my Arch Enemy. You know who. Yeah. Anyway, she said some mean things and it just reminded me that sometimes life hurts, and people can hurt you real bad. But life is still pretty. A family of robins made a nest on my terrace outside my room, and I saw them after I was done crying. They are so cute, and made me happy again. So, always look for your family of robins to keep you happy, I guess. Life isn’t bad, even if some things and people are. I hope you remember that. Keep believing in yourself, and in others!

Marinette Dupain-Cheng (from the past).

Do not open this letter before 2020! Pretty please!

Shaking hands held the letter. It was written two years ago, but he only could have gotten it now. It just appeared on his desk out of nowhere. At first, he thought it was some sick joke. He had just moved to Gotham again, and none of his—

None of them knew he was back. But he recognized this handwriting. He had gotten exactly one letter from them before, written by an older version of this woman and received by him when he was ten. Not long after being taken in by Bruce Wayne. The letter back then had been short, precise. Comforting.

Hello there.

I am writing this in the year 2018. You see, I found out quite a while ago that my soulmate bond is unique. It sends letters to you that I write, from all across time. I can get your letters, too, so don’t hesitate to write to me if you need to vent. My letters might not always reach you in time to feel like a normal response, but I’ll keep writing if you do. I know your life isn’t easy, if the letters I’ve already gotten mean anything. But keep fighting. I know what it’s like to be the underdog. But I’m rooting for you.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, New Adult.

Jason’s hands crumpled the two pieces of paper in them, the older of the two already close to crumbling away. They had buried him with it, resurrected him with it. It had seen hell and back just like him, but he still kept it. Even with blurring ink and ripped edges and blood stains. The writing and names matched, even if his newer letter was written in the clumsy scrawl of a child. The nuances in the handwriting were still the same.

She would still be writing to him. This new letter he got was clearly the first, before she knew about her soulmate or how her letters would disappear after she wrote them just like his did. But 2009? It just sank into him, that she was younger than he was. By seven years.

But her words still kept him afloat better than any lecture from that asshole Bruce.

He couldn’t see her yet. Not any time soon, really. He was already eighteen, dead and resurrected, and she was barely eleven. He could wait.

She didn’t need somebody as screwed and dark as him right now, anyway. A murderer, a budding crime boss. If she needed someone killed for her, or someone to save her, he’d be there. Otherwise?

Jason took out the receipt from his last visit to a gas station for cigarettes, grabbed a sharpie from his desk, and began to write.

Yo, Mari.

I’m writing this in 2011. I got your first letter. Thanks. It reminded me of some good times. I’m sorry I didn’t write anything for five years. Stuff happened. I won’t write often. Not until I’m in a better place. But if you need it, you can vent to me too. Also, don’t look at the back of this receipt. This was the only paper I could find.

Jason T., Your Soulmate.

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette, nine years old, stared down at the receipt that had taken the place of her letter to herself. She recognized that it was written in English, but she couldn’t read it yet. But that was okay, her Papan and Maman could read English!

She ran down, holding it in her hands tightly. She didn’t want the mystery letter to disappear! She handed it to her parents, who were in the middle of making croissants and stared at her for a moment. And then they broke into a flurry of movement.

“Why do you have a receipt for cigarettes, Marinette?!” Sabine yelled, confused more than angry. How would her daughter get a receipt written in English? And after giving her parents a confused head tilt, Marinette explained.

“It just appeared, like, poof!” She moved her hands to illustrate her point. “I was writing my letter to my future self for school, which is gone now oh no! Mlle. is going to be so mad!”

“Mari, focus,” Tom prodded gently, laying a hand on her shoulder. “You were writing your letter, and then what?”

Marinette took a deep breath. “Well, I finished it and put it in a little envelope. But as soon as I put it down and was all done, it shimmered red and faded away! This showed up in the same place my letter had been, like they were traded!”

Tom and Sabine shared a glance, and her mom held out her hand. “Can I read it, Marinette? I promise I won’t take it away. Your father and I just want to see what it says. We’ll read it to you.”

Marinette nodded eagerly, and after making sure their dough was put away the family of bakers moved to their living room and the little girl sat on her father’s lap as her mother held the note for them to see and read it aloud.

The parents shared another glance.

“Wow!” Marinette exclaimed happily, bouncing in place. “He sounds so cool! He is my soulmate? Really? I wonder what he looks like!” Her eyes took on a dreamy quality as she began to daydream. “I bet he’s super handsome! And nice and strong and—“

“Mari,” Tom said gently, tugging one pigtail playfully to get his daughter’s attention. She turned her large blue eyes to him, rapt with attentiveness. “I know this is exciting, but you know that not all soulmates are romantic, right?”

Marinette instantly calmed down, eyebrows pinching together. “But— but Nino said that soulmates are people you will marry in the future. Your perfect person. Like you and Maman,” she argued, incredibly confused. Her Maman chuckled, handing Marinette her receipt-letter back.

“Yes, but sometimes a person doesn’t need romance the most. Sometimes, what a person needs most is a friend or another family member. So sometimes, a soulmate is a big sister or brother instead, or another Maman or Papan. And we think that your soulmate might be the big brother kind,” she explained patiently. Marinette’s confusion instantly changed to excitement again, eyes sparkling with starry amazement.

“Really? How can you tell?”

“Well,” Tom took over, tapping the receipt with one finger. This receipt is from America. Over there, you have to be eighteen to buy cigarettes. Which means that, two years from now, your soulmate is already eighteen.”

“Or he better be, anyway,” Sabine growled, eyes narrowed dangerously.

“But even if he isn’t,” Tom nervously glanced over at his wife and back to his daughter. “The way he writes is too grown up for someone close to your age. He is probably several years older than you—“

“At least seven, if he knows what’s good for him,” Sabine interrupted again. Tom just chuckled and shook his head.

“But still. Are you okay with him not being a romantic soulmate, Nettie?”

Marinette jumped off of her dad’s lap, hugging her note to her chest with one of the biggest smiles either of her parents had ever seen on her face.

“Are you kidding? I’ve always wanted a big brother! I bet he’s so cool, and rides a motorcycle and beats up bad guys! And when we meet, we’ll go out for ice cream and he’ll ruffle my hair, and let me ride on his shoulders, and it’ll be so awesome!”

Sabine finally lost her threatening aura, laughing along with her daughter. “Well, I don’t know about the whole beating up bad guys thing. But it sounds like he might need some cheering up, so you should write him letters pretty often. You never know when he might need one the most.”

Marinette nodded seriously, eyes shining with determination now. “That’s right! I have to be the best soulmate-sister ever! I’ll start writing him another letter right now!” She instantly turned to run back up to her room, but her dad’s voice followed her:

“Marinette! You haven’t eaten dinner yet!”

—*—*—*—*—*

The next day, Jason came back to his base to see another letter. It was on special scrapbook paper, a pretty white with a heart-and-stars border. He found himself snorting despite himself, shaking his head and picking up the girly letter.

Hello, Jason!

I just got your letter! It’s still 2009, and my parents were worried about the cigarats. I wanted to learn English first, but Maman and Papan reminded me that you have to be able to read French if you were able to read my past letters (I wonder what I wrote you! My future self must be real smart). Maman says you better be 18, or else she’ll kick your butt. She didn’t say that exactly, but I could tell.

Jason snickered at that. She must have a pretty fun family.

Maman and Papan also said that you’re probably a Big Brother soulmate. That’s super cool! I’ve always wanted an older brother, but it’s just me. I get lonely sometimes. And Maman thinks I have a big imagination, so help me prove her wrong! I bet her that you’re suuuuuuper cool, and have a motorcycle and beat up criminals! She doesn’t think my soulmate would be a hero, but I think you are. I don’t even know you yet, but I just feel it. And even if you don’t beat up bad guys, that’s fine. You’ll still protect me like a big brother should, right? And we’ll go and eat ice cream and talk about the stuff we like when we finally meet. And I’ll protect you too. I know little sisters aren’t supposed to, but I will totally protect you anyway. If you’re sad, I’ll make you macaroons and read you a bedtime story. That always makes me happy.

Please write back soon!

Marinette Dupain-Cheng (from the past still!)

Jason couldn’t help it, and maybe the Lazarus magic had a bit of sway on him still, but he laughed raucously. A deep, belly-shaking bellow. His soulmate sure was a character! And scarily intuitive. How did she guess such accurate things about him? It was hilarious.

But he wouldn’t write back today. Not yet. He held no illusions; he wasn’t brother material. Not now, and probably not for a while if ever. Which reminded him, he had a replacement to kill.

—*—*—*—*—*

The Replacement lived, but at least Batman had gotten the message. Meanwhile, letters from Little Mari, as he had started calling her in his head, had started piling up. He read every single one, but didn’t respond to any. It was all the usual stuff. Talking about her day, asking stuff about him, spouting advice that seemed way too insightful for a nine-year-old.

He kept every single one. Soon, 2009 letters turned into 2010 letters. She switched from writing almost every day to once a week.

By then, Jason had reconciled with Bruce for the most part. After a few attempts on his life, but that wasn’t important. It was then, as he sat down in the living room watching Tim, Dick, Bruce, and the newest hellion Damian, all talking with and teasing one another that he finally got the urge to write again. So he asked for paper, and Alfred brought him a notepad and a plain ballpoint pen. And, for the first time in over a year, he started writing.

Dick and Bruce noticed first, stopping their banter to stare. Dick smiled softly, his shoulders relaxing as he let himself slump over the sofa’s arm a bit. Tim furrowed his eyebrows, and Damian frowned.

“What are you doing, Todd?” The young hellion asked, but Jason barely heard him.

“Nonya business, squirt,” he replied absently. Bruce chuckled fondly, beckoning to his two youngest sons. They both came a bit closer, and Bruce smiled at them conspiratorially. He leaned forward and whispered:

“Jason’s soulbond allows any letters that he writes to travel through time to his Bonded, and vice versa. Back before… everything, he used to write a letter to her almost every day.”

“It’s really sweet. We lined up the dates, and we think that she’s around your age Damian,” Dick added in equally softly. “Probably a familial bond. It’s good that he’s writing to her again.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette was twelve the next time she got a letter from Jason. But, unlike the last one, this one came from the past. And it was written in French.

Hi, Marinette!

I guess I’m your soulmate. I got your letter from 2018. It’s 2005 when I’m writing this. I’m twelve years old right now, but that shouldn’t matter. It was a little surprising when I got a letter written in French out of nowhere! Luckily, I speak a lot of languages. I love learning languages, and reading is probably my favorite thing to do. Don’t tell anyone though! I have my bad-boy image to keep up. I think our soulbond is really cool actually, and maybe we can teach each other stuff if we do this right. I know the whole time-traveling-letters thing makes it hard to reply to each other like normal. From now on, I’ll write you these letters in English and translate them in French on the back. That way, you can read it whenever you want and also learn English if you don’t already know it when you get this letter.

Oh, and I think I’m older than you? In real time, I mean. If you’re a “new adult” in 2018, then you’re probably a few years younger than me. I was born in 1993. You can do the math, since I don’t know when you were born. Anyway! I’ll keep writing you as often as I can and hope that you get these letters when you need them most.

Jason T., Excited Tween.

Marinette laughed, running down to show her mom. She was only writing Jason once a month now, but in the midst of this first letter she had received in three years, her determination was relit. It was just the letters being dumb when they flew through time! No way he was done writing to her. Right?

“Maman! Maman, he really was eighteen when he wrote that first letter! You don’t have to kill him!”

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette stared at the pile of letters on her desk, sighing. She ran a hand through her hair. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to read them yet, but she knew they were each dated from 2005. Apparently they had both decided to write daily when they had first discovered their Bond.

“Marinette,” the familiar voice of Tikki spoke you, the little Kwami floating over to land on her holder’s shoulder. “You should read them. Your bond wouldn’t give you letters you don’t need.”

Marinette took a deep breath, rubbing her already sore and red eyes. “I know. But what if—“

Tikki grabbed the letter at the bottom of the pile, flying over and handing it to the pigtailed girl. She smiled gently. “Read it. No what-ifs. Just read for now, Marinette.”

The newest Ladybug sighed, but acquiesced. She sat down at her desk, and began to read. Only two months as Ladybug, and already the pressure was becoming too much.

Two hours later, she had caught up and her mood was considerably better. Jason’s life was definitely no cake walk, but his humor bled through the more concerning details and helped bring light to Marinette’s day. Slowly, one by one, she folded the letters and put them in her special locked box inside her “diary”. She tried to keep a real diary once, but quickly stopped when she realized that even “dear diary” counted as a letter and sent itself to Jason.

She pulled out one of her special pieces of stationary paper and her favorite pink gel pen. For a while she stared at the paper, out of practice after a few months of not writing to him, but eventually she was able to begin again.

Hey Jason.

It’s 2013. I’m 13. I’m pretty sure you got the point by now, it’s not hard to figure out what year I was born. I haven’t responded to any of your letters in a while, but I guess that doesn’t matter. It’s not like I know if you’re gonna get this right away anyway.

So. Uh. Things have changed. I’m only thirteen, but I feel so old you know? On the bright side, your letters really did help me learn English. I mean, you probably guessed that since I’m writing this whole thing in English.

I guess I should explain. A little. A lot has happened. I suddenly have so many responsibilities, and it’s really hard to keep up with it all. So much has changed in just a few months, I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m keeping secrets from Maman and Papan now, which hurts the most. I can’t tell them, I can’t even tell you, but I’m not used to this. I don’t like lying. I don’t even know why any of this happened in the first place, I want answers and I’m getting radio silence. It sucks. But your letters from 2005 really helped, so thanks. I just got them this past year, which is really weird because I remember that our letters time travel and I feel crazy again. But this is real. Our Bond is real, and maybe writing you will help me remember that. Help me focus a bit.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now. I’ll try to write you again sometime this week if I have time. We’ll see.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Unsure Teenager.

—*—*—*—*—*

As soon as Jason finished his letter, pretending he couldn’t feel Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Damian all spying on him from their own spots around the living room, the papers he wrote on shimmered red and vanished. In their place, a piece of tea-colored scrapbook paper with a decorative robin-and-egg border (he would never know how she could be so obliviously on point with the designs she chose), popped into existence. He blinked, snatching it up and looking it over. His eyes widened.

“It’s only from next year,” he said aloud, for the benefit of the nosy assholes sharing the room with him. “That’s the closest any of our letters have been to one another,” and then Jason’s eyes promptly went serious as she actually read what the paper said.

“Jay?” Dick asked after the man had been silent too long. Jason grunted, his eyes briefly shimmering green before he shook it away. He took a few deep breaths, and finally responded by standing up and handing the paper over to them.

“Something happens next year that fucks with her. All of the letters I’ve gotten from her, besides that first one back when I was still Robin, were from before this. 2009 to 2010. I even got a few from last year, not that long ago. She’s always upbeat and happy and never said anything about any concerning things besides some schoolyard bullying. This isn’t at all like her. The tone is off.”

“Well, it’s not like you’ve actually met her yet Jason,” Tim tried to console him, rereading the paper to make sure he didn’t miss anything. “This could be something mundane. A new school, or an issue with friends or something.”

Jason grit his teeth. “It isn’t. I don’t know how I know, but my gut is telling me it’s more than that. B, I want us to keep an eye on Paris. Something big happens next year, I know it.”

Bruce sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Funnily enough, I agree with you. Alfred, can you get up a monitoring system? we’ll keep it automatic until next year actually hits, and then I want someone personally checking up on Paris news at least once a month. Just in case.”

—*—*—*—*—*

It was a year into HawkMoth. Marinette hadn’t written a single letter to Jason, but she kept getting the ones he wrote in 2005. When those ran out, she only had two from 2006 before they suddenly leapt to 2012. She guessed that that was because of the five year gap he had mentioned in his first letter, the infamous cigarette receipt.

She sat in her chair, reading the only two 2012 letters so far, the second of which had conveniently landed on her desk that morning. The first had arrived months ago, but she gave it a reread anyway.

yo, Mari.

I’m sorry I haven't written anything else after that horrible receipt, I was getting my life sorted out. things are better now. I have three annoying brothers, by the way. I told you about Dick, I think, in my early letters. Now I have two younger brothers too, Tim and Damian. Damian is a little shit, but oddly enough I think you’d like him. Oh yeah, I’m writing this in 2012 by the way. And yes, this small notepad paper was all I had. Don’t judge me. I guess I’ll answer some questions, to make up for my lack of letters lately. More up to date than what I told you back when I was a naive little kid anyway.

Yes, I have a motorcycle. It is my baby, and I have no idea how nine-year-old you was able to guess stuff about me so accurately. I am most definitely a bad boy, and I have five different leather jackets that I love to death. I’m trying to quit smoking. It’s bad for your lungs kid, don’t follow my example there. Also, I am so fucking proud of your taste in music. I know I had no sway in it, but the fact that Jagged Stone is your favorite musician instills so much older brother pride in me you don’t even know. My dad (You remember how I said I’m adopted, right? yeah that asshole. Don’t tell him I actually love him, but he’s still an asshole), he grew up with Jagged actually. He still refers to him as Jared, it’s surreal. I will definitely let you ride on my shoulders, even if you’re an adult when we meet. I give no shits. And ice cream is mandatory. Officially. I’m making it mandatory right now.

I hope you’re doing okay when this gets to you, Mari. And keep designing, the sketches you sent me were awesome! That’s some real talent. Don’t let it go to waste if it’s something you love.

Alright, the Doofuses are still staring at me so I better go before one of them snoops and sees the sappy stuff I wrote about them. You are sworn to secrecy about it too, Cupcake. No blabbing.

Jason Todd, Finally Kinda Okay.

Marinette chuckled at that, then put it aside to read the new one from that morning. It was shorter.

Marinette!

I just read your letter from 2013, holy shit let this reach you not long after that. You remember that 2012 letter where I was sappy about my family and shit? I hope you got that one first or else this is gonna be confusing. Anyway, this was written that same day. Are You Okay? If shit gets too bad, for whatever reason, you can always contact me. I know this damn letter thing won’t let me give you a specific way to contact me, not for lack of trying damn it, but I’ll say this: Bruce Wayne isn’t hard to get a hold of. Find a way to contact him if you need my help, and I will be close behind. He knows how to contact me. No matter what, Cupcake. I don’t care if you think you’re being stupid or dramatic or whatever lies run through your head. Contact him if you need it, and I will come to help you. I promise. Being thirteen sucks, trust me I know, so let me help you.

Jason Todd, Worried As Hell.

Marinette huffed, shaking her head. She wanted to take him up on that offer, but she couldn’t. She had just met the Guardian not too long ago, and he had made it clear that she couldn’t tell anybody about being Ladybug. Not even Jason. She needed to deal with this alone.

Scenes of bloated bodies filled her mind, all the people who had died just the previous day because of Siren. She had had to swim through so many corpses. So many dead, of all ages.

She rushed out onto her balcony, taking in deep breaths of fresh air and letting the sun’s rays warm her up and slowly bring her out of the haze of burning memory. She was fourteen already. She could handle this. Her childhood had died the moment she had been given the Earrings, ripped away from her too early. Her old self had died. Now she was Ladybug, she was Marinette Dupain-Cheng and she was responsible for the fate of even more than just Paris. She couldn’t let herself fall. Not now, not ever.

The loud roaring of a motorcycle made her jump, and she ran to her railing just in time to see a gorgeous black and red bike come to a tire-screeching halt on the street right under her. The biker, she could tell he was large and covered head to toe in corded muscle even from her spot high above his head, slowly took off his helmet. Black hair with stark white bangs came into view, and startlingly deep blue eyes met hers. Marinette’s breath hitched; it was him. She could tell, his mere eye contact made her feel safe and warm and like… like home had found her. He gave her a roguish grin.

“Come on, Cupcake! I believe I promised you a shoulder ride and ice cream. And you gotta keep me from beating a certain old man into a bloody pulp!”

He knew. Marinette smiled widely, a laugh tearing itself from her throat. Hysteric, overjoyed, free. He knew, and it was okay. She didn’t even have to tell him. She took a few steps back, and then vaulted straight over her railing.

“Catch!”

Jason threw his helmet to the side, running forward just in time for her to land safely in his arms. He glared down at her, but his eyes held no heat. “That was incredibly reckless. I shouldn't be proud, but I am. Don’t do that ever again.”

Marinette giggled. “No promises.”

Jason set her down, picking up his helmet before opening the storage on his bike and tossing her a smaller, pink one. “Sorry it took so long. I wanted to come last year, as soon as I figured out what had made you send that concerning letter, but I was told that I would be an instant Akuma. But after what happened yesterday…” Jason shook his head solemnly. “I knew you’d need a break. Come on, Gotham actually has some amazing ice cream.”

“How are we gonna get to Gotham right away? how did you..?”

Marinette paused, Jason keeping his motorcycle’s storage open just long enough for her to see his Red Hood helmet.

“We got portals for that,” he responded nonchalantly, nobody was nearby to overhear anyway. Marinette looked up when he closed the storage compartment, putting her helmet on.

“Well. Then I’m glad you actually took my rant on the Gotham vigilantes to heart and used my designs, because your old mask was disgustingly ugly.”

Jason rolled his eyes, and waited until she was behind him on the bike before revving it and replying;

“Trust me, I know your feelings on it. Demon Spawn and Replacement teamed up to steal that letter and made copies. Now one is pinned to the fridge and I spent another several hours cleaning up the ones they posted over every inch of my apartment walls.”

“... I approve.”

[shivada-jade]

how to be romantic

characters: zhongli, childe (the wingman) ➡ mentions: xiao, venti, hu tao warning(s): n/a unless you havent gone to liyue. why havent you gone to liyue? FINISH THE MONDSTADT QUEST AND GO TO LIYUE.

Zhongli's everyone's ideal man.

Intelligent, amusing, respectful, and extremely good looking.

Zhongli knows many things including Liyue's history and, well... Teyvat's history.

Though, romance is not something he touched base with over the time he spent in Teyvat. He was, after all, a war leader. He was a fighter, not a lover, but over time when he settles down at the harbour, he found you.

Being romantic is for losers, as a certain bard would tell him long ago, chugging two gallons of wine. Pretty ironic how his city turned to be a city of romance as much as it is freedom.

You were someone who did not make him feel like someone to be worshipped as he was once worshipped. You did not make him feel belittled or someone of unimportance. You made him feel whole, and for that he is forever thankful.

He tends to ramble about ancient history, but you assure him you find it as interesting as he does. You would usually tease him saying you might know more than him until you thought you saw a certain Yaksha near by. The certain Yaksha threatened you with the tip of his polearm when he fits you as any threat to Zhongli, whether physically or mentally. Ahah, but it's okay you're both buddy-buddy now. You make the best almond tofu.

Zhongli will forever be yours, he promises you. Through thick or thin or through any rainy day, he promises he will be forever yours. You bro-zone him.

As he sits on the chair drinking his tea, his eyes wander from person to person, noting how many of them were in pairs: pair of siblings, a pair of friends, a pair of lovers, a pair of enemies. Everything is in a pair.

A pair of blue eyes interrupt his thought. Zhongli sets his teacup down and nods to Childe in acknowledgement.

"How do you do, Childe?"

Childe grins and puts his hands behind his head, taking a seat in front of Zhongli. "Oh nothing much. Juuust checking in to see how my favourite grandpa is. How are you? How's the spouse and three kids, living near the beach with their pet hamster? Ayo shawty bae, make sure you-"

Zhongli indeed knows a lot of things, but Childe's way of talking might just be something he may never understand.

"Childe, let us get to the point."

"Right, so! As your awesome wingman who got you the love of your life and even matchmade with countless of other people, I, Childe, the lovable Fatui Harbinger, the hottest person here, the best ginger there is-"

"The point, please," Zhongli says, offering to pour tea for his friend.

Childe refuses with a polite smile, "I have come with thee with a way to spice up your love life!"

Zhongli pauses and then lifts the cup up, sipping the tea, humming to show he heard.

Blue eyes dull and Childe whines, "Come on! I went through so much trouble in making a step-by-step guide on how to be romantic." His arms droop to his side.

The former Archon lifts a brow and places his tea down again, "Amuse me."

"Great!" Childe high-fives himself under the table. His right hand fishes for something hidden in his left sleeve and pulls it out. It was a long scroll of messy writing.

"Ahahah!" He slaps the scroll on the paper. The title read, 60 Impressive Ways to Be Romantic. "Mr Zhongli, you will not regret following these simple steps! You're already the man, but now you'll be... the better man! It works 100%"

"Preposterous," Zhongli chuckles. "I don't think I need this to win over [Name's] heart."

"Dude, [Name] bro-zoned you yesterday."

The wind brings the sound of laughter to Zhongli's ears, as if mocking him. Sometimes, he really wanted to punch the wind.

...

Tartaglia's way of showing romance seems to cost a fortune. Zhongli knows at this point this is one of Tartaglia's entertainment, because halfway through the scroll it scribbled, "AFFORDABLE ways to be romantic :)"

...

You come home to rose petals littering your doorstep and silk flowers perching on your window. A little neat note is clipped in between the door and the door frame.

After working, all you wanted to do is sleep, so that is what you did. You were too tired to notice the change and left the letter falling on the floor.

Mission failed!

Childe pats Zhongli's pat like he was a rejected kid on the playground.

"So what? Maybe step number 38 just wasn't it. Let's skip to step 69."

"There's only 60 steps, though," Zhongli quickly points out.

"Oh.. just change the number 60 to 69. It'll be like 57, 58, 59, 69 and done!"

...

Step 45: Take them out on a nerd date.

Zhongli has already told you so much about his knowledge, he doesn't think there's much to do.

Step 48: Explore the unknown!

You almost fell in a ravine when you and Zhongli went out for a simple walk. No way was he going to let that happen again.

Step 52: How are you all the way here? Make their favourite dish!"

Hu Tao sabotaged a dish once and Zhongli proceeded to think he's a horrible chef.

Step 54: I'm out of ideas. Just don't be a wimp and place an arm over their shoulder while you're against a wall or something. What's the word.. kabedon?"

Zhongli notes the Inazuman term and sweat drops. Maybe Zhongli is a wimp. No he isn't, but he wouldn't know if you would be comfortable with that. He would like to make sure you feel safe around him before doing such things.

Step 60: You made it here, so I'm assuming nothing from the other steps worked. Just ask them out and be direct. If you're rejected then I'm here!

"Well? Why do you like them to begin with?" Childe questions Zhongli one day with a palm resting under his chin.

Golden eyes soften when describing details that make you one of a kind as Childe takes out a quill, ink and a paper.

The next day, Childe ushers Zhongli to meet you. He shoves Zhongli to your house and quietly waits in a bush, listening to what's going to happen.

Zhongli waits outside your doorstep, knocking. He does not have much with him, just a single glazed lily in one hand.

He waits a few moments and you open the door.

"Hi there, Zhongli!"

Zhongli lights up when he sees your bright aura.

"Hello-"

"You're late."

That went downhill really fast, but Zhongli is a man of patience. "I beg your pardon?..." he trails off, wondering what he was late for.

"The letter, the flowers, the little lunches you packed for me these days?" You explain, heaving a basket from inside and showing Zhongli the little collection of gifts he gave you. He thought random people got his gifts instead of you because it would always be gone by the next day without ever seeing you take it.

Zhongli clears his throat, honestly flustered that you took care of his gifts with great care, even placing it in a delicate basket. By delicate, the fanciest looking basket out there.

He reaches for your hand, gently placing a Glazed Lily. "What am I late for?"

You walk back inside, carefully placing the Glazed Lily in a vase and come outside with a blue letter. You curiously ask, "Did you not send this letter?"

Zhongli looks at the letter with a smile gracing his face. In your hand is a blue letter with a small whale stamp in the corner.

To my dearest,

I do not wish to keep my feelings for you caged in. I'm not one to forget many things, but when I am with you, I seem to forget all the pain this world has caused me.

At times I feel unreachable or unapproachable to many people. At times I feel I may never fit in this new life in Liyue I chose, but when you show me the thousands of reasons why I need to stay, I stay for you. I realize when I am not with you, Liyue is dull. When I am not with you, I am cold, but when I am with you, I am full of warmth and happiness.

Your eyes that tell me more stories than I can imagine are stunning. The smile that comes with it tops it all off. Your awful jokes and horrible sense of humour make me at peace, showing me there is a little humour in everything.

I wish I can go on and list more, but my ink is running short.

I simply adore you, my dear.

I can only hope you feel the same for me. My gifts for you are material, but my love for you will be eternal.

Would you be able to free yourself to spend the day with me tomorrow by noon?

Yours,

Zhongli

note: JHDSJNDSDNALNDAHJHDNMDSNMAMNDNMF,,C,MVMNXCVNVCNMCVXNMCVXNMCNMM,JDFSLDFNMSKDAFJJFDKREY3RKNLFDFSNMDDAJLNLAALKADPODMKLCXBEGHRGHGNML

you read it this far EHHDAHDHJ HOW

(childe's pov)