#so i myself am also at like a. ''not fantastic but conversational'' level

[chaotic-on-main]

on to the nextttt

Matcha green tea! (also that was a fantastic flavor for Levi). With Fresh Fruit. Let’s do another pre-established relationship because I literally only like those for myself apparently 😂.

For scenario: Close to his canon personality if you can but the setting is AU. How about Levi and I are at a party and I’ve gotten a little buzzed and am being super teasy to him(like slight brushes against him and shit) and he drags me home and the rest is suggestive obv not any real smut :) lemme know if you don’t like that and I’ll change it lmao.

Order up!! One matcha green tea with fresh fruit for Bee!!

Sky's Summer and 250 Follower Event!

☾ Pairing ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!Reader

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ modernAU, collegeAU, drinking, alcohol, suggestive themes, suggestive terminology, proofread once pls forgive any mistakes, MDNI

☾ A/N ➼ Hi Bee!! Thank you so much for sending in a request. I will admit, I am taking way too long so now some of these requests are going to take place in early-mid fall lmao. I'm so sorry. But I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you like it!! Suggestive is still so hard for me so this was a fun challenge, as always. Who knows, maybe I can continue on with this if I feel inspired. Anyways, happy first of October y'all!!

☾ Word Count ➼ ~2.2k

Levi doesn't know how he always finds himself in these predicaments. One moment he's hunched over his desk, looking over his notecards for his upcoming exam – the next he's being physically dragged away by his tiresome roommate to a Halloween party down the road that he had already said no to.

Now, he’s leaning against a wall, red cup in hand, with his hood up and a black face mask covering his nose and mouth – white face paint smeared across his pallid face in the pattern of a skull thanks to Hange's last minute demands.

“It's a Halloween party for heaven's sake, you need to look the part!” They had exclaimed after pulling him out of his room with makeup brushes in hand.

The mask was there because he wouldn't dare risk getting sick before his test, but it also gave him a reason to cover up so no one would bother him. Of course he wouldn't be so lucky as he feels someone slide up next to him. Eyes narrowed, he glares over to the unwelcome visitor and as his gaze falls upon you, his eyes soften considerably.

He'd see you around campus, catching his eyes from time to time. It wasn't until recently that you both started interacting with each other due the classic literature class you both share this semester.

You have only spoken to each other a handful of times, outside of the glances shared and the kind smiles you would offer him in passing. Most conversations were about school work or small talk that he would mainly grunt back at. Despite the short quips he gave you, you never pushed or pulled away. Now here you were, smiling up at him as the multicolor strobe lights hit your face.

“Levi? I never thought I'd see you at one of these!” You half-shout over the pulsing pop music blaring from the speakers around the two of you.

Eyes bright and soft cheeks painted pink, they were pulled back into a genuine smile pointed straight at Levi. You were dressed in much less clothing than he's used to seeing you in. Gone were the jeans and loose-knit sweaters – now replaced by a black frilly strapless dress adorned with a small white apron wrapped around your waist. The collar curves low enough to show your cleavage, tightly pushed together by the thin black cloth.

His eyes travel down if only for a second to see how short the dress really was – ending right underneath your butt. The bottom hugged your curves, squeezing your waist and hips perfectly. Underneath was a pair of black fishnet stockings and heels, making you barely at eye level with Levi. Frilled cuffs wrap around your wrists in the same style of the choker that sits flush against your neck.

You're dressed as a maid.

His eyes snap back up to see that your hair falls around your shoulders topped with a little headband. There are hints of lipgloss leftover from the many times your lips caressed the ridges of a plastic cup. But that flush on your cheeks was not from your makeup.

“Hellllooo??” You wave a hand in front of Levi's face to get his attention.

“I am.” He responds back cooly, tone contradictory to the thoughts racing through his mind.

“I knew it! Your brooding gray eyes are striking even from across the room.” A light giggle leaves your soft lips. “What are you doing here? I thought you'd be studying for Tuesday's exam.”

“I was. My roommate dragged me here.”

“The Levi Ackerman bent to someone's will? Well, I'll be.” You tease, smile tugging at your lips, before taking another sip of the mysterious liquid in your cup. Levi does the same, feeling the burn of the liquor he had poured when he first got here.

“Tch. Shouldn't you be studying? You struggled with your analysis on Odyssey and that's definitely showing up on the test.”

“Aw, you care! If you must know, I took your suggestions to heart and did that 'note taking after every paragraph' thing you do. Some things are still a little fuzzy but I have a much better grasp on it! So, thank you.” Another wide smile from you causes butterflies to dance in his stomach.

“Yeah. Sure.”

Levi never afforded himself time to think of a relationship. Sure, he's had his share of hookups before; he wasn't always glued to his books and knew how to release stress from time to time. But he never thought anything past that one night and moved on with his life without issue. It wasn't because he was being intentionally callous though, most women that sought his company only wanted him by his looks alone – who was he if not willing to return the favor.

But you gave him something others could not – comfort in knowing that you talked to him as a person and not a pretty face. And while he never made a move to further anything with you, he did find himself wanting to be near you as much as he could bear.

“What are you even supposed to be?” Your lips purse as your eyes scan Levi’s slim frame. Your fingers reach up and pinche the fabric of his jacket as you pull yourself closer to get a better look of his face still darkened by the shadows of his hood. You're not close enough to press up against him, but you might as well have as you only left an inch or so between you both. Your eyes bounce around his face as she makes sense of the quickly applied makeup. If he leaned down just a bit, he could…

“No idea. Hange, the roommate I mentioned, did it.” He clears his throat quietly, eyes glancing away from yours. You pull away finally, but your fingers still remain on his sleeve. You're not directly touching him, but it's enough to send tingles through his body. Levi chalks it up to it being a while since he's been touched by someone.

“It looks good on you, like you're a bandit ready to steal or something.” Your tinkling laughter makes Levi's ears twitch in a good way. “I'm happy to see you out of the classroom, Levi.”

“I-"

“Oh! My friend is waving me over. Hold this for a second.” You say, handing your drink over to him. He watches as you tug your dress up that must have slid down a bit. When you do, his eyes can't help but glance down to the slight bounce of your plush chest. The way your perfume permeates his senses as you move around the little space you both share and it intoxicates him – or was it the alcohol? He hadn't had that much.

“Okay, I'm good to go.” When you reach over to take the half-empty cup from Levi's fingers, yours brush against his ever so slightly. His heart leaps at your warm touch. “I'll see you around?”

You give Levi a long look before smiling brightly and turning tail towards a redhead who was currently staring hard at him. His gaze was far from your friend though because with your back to him now, he sees that the costume is much shorter than he initially assumed.

His eyes don't leave you for a bit, watching you double over in laughter at something your friend said. There's a moment where your eyes meet again, holding each other's gaze until your friend says something else and you're back to laughing. Outside of the classroom, you were very different. There were a lot of things he didn't know about you. Perhaps that's something he wouldn't mind delving into if given the chance.

“Dude she's so into you.” A voice rings out from next to Levi, their words slightly slurred from the many drinks they had consumed throughout the night.

“Shut up, four eyes.”

“I mean it. She's so smitten with you. Didn't you see the way she was looking at you? There are hearts in her eyes! Those glances, the unassuming touches. Levi Ackerman, c'mon! I wasn't born yesterday.” Levi turns to the source of the noise. Hange Zoe, a bioengineering major who he shared the same apartment with for years, is giving Levi the biggest shit-eating grin they can muster.

“And you like her too, don't you.”

Their usual frazzled brunette hair is even frizzier to match the mad-scientist costume they were going for, held down by a pair of safety goggles that wrap around their head. Hange had made Levi swear on his life not to tell Professor Vitch that they had ‘borrowed' one of the lab coats for it – not like Levi cared enough to say anything anyways. He doesn't understand how Hange could even give it back now that it's tattered and ruined with self-made burn marks.

“Whatever.”

“You've never mentioned her before, why not? I thought I was your bestest friend in the whole world.”

“Acquaintances. And it doesn't pertain to you.”

“That hurts, we’ve known each other for 5 years.” Hange gives a fake pout. As their gaze flits back over to you, they mutter, “If I were you, I wouldn't let this chance slip away. You'll just regret it.” And with that, Hange yells something to a mutual friend and runs over to him – leaving Levi to his devices once again.

His eyes go back to where you were just moments ago and he catches you shooting him another smile before getting lost in the crowd with your friend. This smile held something that wasn't there before, the same matching emotion that fill your eyes.

Regret was not something he sat well with. Before he knows it, he's pushing himself off the wall and heading towards the direction you had disappeared in.

It takes a bit of searching and asking around much to his disdain. Eventually, he finds you outside on the front porch alone, sitting on the stairs with your back to him. Your hair is pulled up in a messy ponytail and from the way you’re lifting your arm up, he can tell you still have a drink in hand. When he shuts the door behind him, he notices you don't even look back.

“Tired of the people, too?” Levi asks as he sits down on the step next to you, practically shoulder to shoulder. He doesn't miss the way you flinched at his sudden voice, you turning quickly to face him.

“Oh jeez, Levi. I almost punched you.” You place your hand flat against your chest in hopes to slow your racing heart.

“Wouldn't be the first time someone threatened that.”

“I can't imagine why.” You sigh, but then a smirk pulls on your lips as you start to relax. “Yeah, it's just getting to be too much. I think I may head out here soon.” You take another sip of your drink before realizing it's mostly gone and instead, you tip it all the way back and down it all in one gulp.

You stand up soon after, your ass on full display for him to see from his position. The way you bend forward a bit to brush off your dress is almost a little too much for Levi. Your cheeky panties peek out at him, causing that knee-jerk reaction of such a visual to twitch in his jeans. Realization of what Hange was trying to tell him earlier dawns on him.

Regret was not something he liked to feel.

Levi stands up quickly and grabs your wrist in tight fingers before pulling you to face him. There's visible shock on your face at the brazen action, but you don't pull away. He gives you a moment, a chance to turn him down and leave without looking back. You don't. Instead, you coyly smile up at him, eyebrow raised.

With that, he tugs you closer and his lips meet yours in a hard kiss. Behind the bubblegum lipgloss, he tastes the artificial fruit from the drinks you've had tonight. You mirror the same hunger as Levi does, as if you had waited for this for months. You throw your arms around his neck as you press yourself against him, your fingers sliding up into his hair as his hands make their way to your waist – holding you there.

What feels like mere seconds pass before Levi has to break away for air. There's a moment where you’re both just staring at each other. Partly from shock but also uncertainty of where to go next. You're the first to speak.

“There's um, something I need help with on the study guide. But it's back at my place.”

“I can help with that.” Levi answers back cooly, almost too quick but he didn't care.

You don't hesitate to close your fingers over his and tug him into the direction of your place, almost running like the little kids that swarm the street as they trick or treat.

tagging for my levi girlies (from my taglist!): @humanitys-strongest-bamf @romantichomicide95 @youre-ackermine @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @levis-squishy-cheeks @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @elnyrae @secretmoneybearvoid @apolloshaiku @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @missyasma @kingkonoha @sckerman @notgoodforlife @nube55 @svftackerman @velouria17 @melodyuzumaki

if you are not part of my taglist and would like to be, please fill out my form!

[roguemaki]

Hey! I hope your week is going great :)

Like everyone else, i wanted to send you a heartfelt thank you for your immense efforts and time that you take out of your day to translate and type set these interviews and videos.

It always brightens my day when i get a notification from you and i know I’m in for a treat so it’s really truly appreciated from our end 🙏🏼

I was also wondering that when the asticassia school assembly BD comes out, if you could consider uploading it somewhere so that people who can’t purchase it would be able to watch it as well? I was really looking forward to seeing the VAs performance on stage and also some of the comedic moments like Suletta rapping but unfortunately, money is a bit tight for me right now. 😞

If you could consider it that would be awesome but if you rather not do jt, that’s totally fine as well :)

I also wanted to ask for your advice regarding learning japanese. I took some classes in college but haven’t kept up with it. Do you know any resources that you felt were really helpful to you when you were learning the language? I really want to dedicate myself to it this time! I’d really appreciate any tips, thank you! :)

Hey hey~ I actually got some fantastic news at work, so my week's off to a great start. :3

And you're very welcome! Thank you for enjoying and supporting my TLs.

I pre-ordered the School Assembly BD and am planning to subtitle it in parts, similarly to how I'm doing the Ep 24 Character Commentary… but for an upload of the full thing, I have to be more circumspect: I'll post when the rip is available and give contact info so interested folks can reach out directly. Just trying to avoid getting Eye of Sauron'd by Bandai-Namco, lol.

Regarding Japanese study: we're in similar boats! I also took classes in college and got back into serious self-study after not practicing for a while.

Here are some self-study resources I find useful:

For daily Japanese practice…

Renshuu for vocabulary and grammar. WaniKani for learning kanji. Ringotan for kana and kanji writing practice.

Renshuu is a site (also available in convenient app form) for building up vocabulary and grammar with quizzes, games, and community activities. It's by-and-large free - premium provides some enhancements (like more listening/pitch tools), but isn't necessary for most of the content. WaniKani is a fantastic resource for learning kanji. They use some truly memorable mnemonics to teach radicals/vocabulary and schedule lessons/reviews in a way that promotes real retention. Give Levels 1-3 a try since they're free, and if you like the teaching method, a lifetime premium sub is reasonably affordable when it goes on sale (like on Black Friday). I use Ringotan, a free phone app, to supplement WaniKani (which is focused on reading/recognition) with writing practice.

Other resources/tools...

Install Yomitan, an in-line dictionary extension, on your browser.

Dokusho Bookclub is a site for finding reading materials targeting specific JLPT levels.

Out of the many resources available on YouTube, I want to highlight Kaname Naito's channel - he teaches in depth vocabulary and grammar used in actual conversational Japanese.

I have a routine of always doing my "dailies" and just try to read/watch/play as much Japanese media as possible... Thankfully there's so much good stuff available online nowadays. :>

Hope you find something useful for you in this list. Good luck with your studies!

[swearyshera]

Advance apology for the long ask in a likely sea of 'em. A lot of people talk about wishing they could experience something they love again for the first time, this series was genuinely as close to that as I've ever felt. Just given the span of time my attention flucuated on and off but once the latter half of s4/s5 began my attention was absolutely nailed to your feed. Its up with Dragon Ball Z Abridged as parody series that become so dramatically effective they become a valid or definitive way to experience the series. Goddamned sensational.

Your portrayals of the characters soar. They provide a hilarious, cruder take on each that still cuts right to the soul of who these people are and lays it bare, which I think is the mission of any good-natured parody. Adora, Catra, Glimmer, Scorpia, Bow, Prime etc. There is not one that does not shine. It tackled a ton of issues and misgivings I had about canon, and even elevated or clarified many scenes and arcs through addressing them a more direct fashion. You took full advantage of not having to dress up and dance around the dark subjects canon was sort of doomed to handle inadequately given its age bracket and thematic priorities. Many scenes were jawdropping. Ive raved about it before, but your scene with Glimmer actually talking about her mom with Catra still leaves me gobsmacked every time I reread it. Your big moments towards the finale btwn Adora and Catra are obviously sublime and tie their wonderful arc off fantastically, but in my heart of hearts that cell talk will be the crown jewel of this project. Loved seeing the LGBT message take center stage in way canon had to hold back. To paraphrase Tolkien, I'm can't count myself among those gifted people, and youve def got a target audience in mind, but if youve ever worried if your stories resonate on a quote unquote "more universal" level, I promise you can put those worries to bed. Since becoming an adult ive intentionally sought out more and more queer-inclusive/created stories and I havent regretted it a bit, and the rising tide of fascist sexist/homo/transphobic bile in politics gets more and more frightening. But I've also seen how strong and resilient LGBT people are in the face of it, empowering themselves in no small part thru stories like yours. Please don't ever give up on your art. The world needs artists like you. Sorry if I come off pretentious or condescending, I feel like that when I try to get everything I think out at once. I'll be among the first to come running if you ever start another project like this or make something on an even grander scale. Thank you a thousand times for this. Also writing a wholeass sitcom pilot based on an offhand quasi-joke I made is the most weirdly touching thing I think anyones ever done "for me" (at least nominally cuz of me), especially a stranger. So thank you for that too.

Aw, you'll make me cry, you know! I think you've understood everything I wanted to do with this strip (or at least, when I started thinking beyond just 'characters saying fuck'), and... yeah, it's been an incredible journey, both for the blog and for me personally.

I've always tried to keep the parody good-natured. You can often tell, particularly in parody, when the creator dislikes one particular character (I mean, Horde Prime was probably the exception here), but I love all of them, so it really comes from a place of love. It's quite odd because I never set out to "fix" the show, and I wouldn't want to, but some things I've done seem to have had such an impact that a lot of people think I have done just that.

The Glimmer/Catra conversation is absolutely one of my favourite things I've written from this. It's such a pivotal moment in both their stories and character development, and I am truly humbled that multiple people have called it 'better than canon'. Like... I'm just some person trying to be funny and occasionally serious, and people are saying something I wrote is better than what a team of experienced professional writers did? Give over, no... But it's still a moment I can be proud of.

I won't be stopping writing things. This whole blog has given me a new lease of life and something to aim towards. I've got an excellent pilot script pretty much finished, and I do want to bring Hellspawn up to that standard too (thank you for suggesting someone make a Sweary Frosta sitcom - I'm someone!). That may well involve a complete re-write, but I'll be sure to share it.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your kind words along the way. It really keeps me going :)

[alexissara]

Why You Should Try Gales Of Nayeli

With Gales Of Nayeli putting out an updated demo I wanted to take some time to be this games hype woman. I have no personal profit to gain from this game's success, I became friends with the games dev after becoming a backer and eventually over chatting on discord it became more than like interview questions where I tried to learn more about the game for my own piece of mind or to see if it's worth hyping to girlfriends. I want this game to do well because it seems like most of what I've ever wanted in my favorite kind of video games. So much so it's inspiring me to want to make a video game myself. Blindcoco is great and I am thrilled about this game so allow me to gush to you a bit on all the parts of this game that make it really exciting and special to me.

Queerness in focus

I highlight this first cuz it's what sold me and it's also something people who follow me care a lot about. The games Creator didn't flinch when I asked on the kickstarter about Sapphic rep and since then we've talked a lot on discord about the game in general so I have a wide but not complete idea of how big queerness is in GoN. 

The main character is a bi woman with 4 romance options 2 men 2 women and like most romance in this game the romances go beyond the start of relationships in their support conversations or an end card but actually have at least One conversation in a relationship.  For Nayeli Our main character it elevates the character she romanced even further, making them a must deploy and adding even more time for their romance to shine in the plot and not just in the supports.  

Of course a bi MC is amazing but it goes beyond this with many bisexual characters and a few Lesbains and Gay men too. The lesbians and Gay men aren't Heathered or Leoned and left to be forever alone and are allowed to thrive while being gay and also allowed to have friendships with people on top of romance. Same goes for most bi characters. These romances and friendships the characters have also provide some mechanical advantage from unlocking classes to weapons and more really making these relationships feel like they have weight instead of being some flavor that mostly doesn’t matter. 

The game even features 2 trans men and a trans woman in its cast. The developer has put a lot of work into making his game feel like a world that in some ways Is better than our own without just the hand waving touch of saying the world's accepting without ever showing queer people. 

I have to reserve final judgment for how the game handles queerness when I actually play the game and review it but at this phase of in depth conversation and being shown information I can say with confidence that we're at least seeing someone try and honestly that's a lot more than most SRPGs. It really seems like this could dwarf the next best offerings by a bit

A wildly fun roster of characters 

This roster is diverse but not just in skin tone but in the fantastical ways too. You can find Snake girls, Harpies, Demons, Squirrel Girls, wolf girls, shark boys, and even a chicken among your party. The roster really ranges with ethnicity, cultures, personalities and even species. 

I do think it’s most important to talk about the diversity that matters most and is here in the real world and that is this game's dedication to trying to literally make own voices, hiring voice actors and doing it’s best to get people from similar backgrounds to play characters. The cast has a really wide range of real world cultures that are being pulled from and used as inspiration in the fantasy world and to that end there is a level of making sure the people from these cultures are getting some money in the process even if it is the smaller funds an indie game budget can afford to give. 

WIth a roster of over 30 characters there is likely a character who you relate to, who you might feel some kind of kinship with or want to look like especially when you throw promotions and the like in the mix. You want a showy performer she's here, want a smooth dancer you got it, want a fierce warrior they got plenty. 

I think the “monster” people add a lot to the game in concept too where in so many games you will just murder harpies or snakes or demons because the game simply says their evil or animals this game provides a challenge to this existing framework with even early party subverting standard tropes by giving you access to a dark elf Keri who is not just a big deal but a main love interest for the main character. This can really challenge the fantasy racism that so casually shows up in so many games and get you to think of every enemy human or not as another soldier in this conflict, not something evil that must be rooted out. 

Amazing Artwork

The game has stunning sprites and a true depth of art put into it. Every character has multiple promoted classes each of which has its own sprite and it's own art work meaning In and out of battle you'll see the advancement of the character. The creator of the game is the artist who is drawing all the core art for characters and has put a lot of work into the roster including revamping most of the art he had previously done to make the promoted art work for all the story scenes with expressions and everything. There is a lot of love and care into all the sprites and a lot of intentionality into making sure the art and sprites feel like the same character. 

The art goes beyond the visual too with way more voice work then one would expect from an indie game with this kind of budget including special lines for when characters who are important to each other interact in particular ways, several lines for hitting critical hits, even lines for abilities they can rarely access. While the game sadly didn’t reach the stretch goal for full voice acting it’s clear that the voice acting they could afford was all put to great use with a ton of wonderful little bits of flavor brought to life by amazing voice talent. 

If your as dorky as me hearing a game was made in SRPG Studio might automatically give you a mental image of how the UI elements will look and everything but the art direction in this game extends beyond all the elements previously mentioned and into the UI design with constant tweaks and changes to make sure the game feels like Gales Of Nayeli and not SRPG Studios presents another indie SRPG. Not that there's anything wrong with that but it gives GoN a very nice feel even just in the basic parts of presentation going that extra inch to not just feel like a copy and paste job. 

So many ways to play

The game offers a lot of modes and ways to modify gameplay. It knows a lot of what those deep into SRPGs already like to do but Also has features for people who want to go wild like a mode that makes your leveling utterly ridiculously strong. Beyond the amount of shifts with difficulty modes you have this huge roster with so many different classes  including the monsters and such mentioned earlier but also a wide range of classes performed by more standard humans too allowing for every kind of play style. Then if that wasn't enough there are ways with items both equipment and enchantment Items to further shape your roster for you. 

Every character has multiple classes they can promote to baring the games select characters who area already in a promoted class with each character's class list being uniquely made for them. This means even if  you want to play with the same characters you have at least 2 different ways to play the characters with the cap being 5 different classes for Nayeli and some characters having 3. Even the chicken gets to have multiple promoted class options.

The game has ways for you to see RNs, it has ways to play where you never gain stats and where you always gain stats, it can even turn on a fan of SRPG favorite the weapon triangle where weapons function similarly to Fire Emblem games where particular weapons have advantage over others. 

The game is also designed for replay with lots of secrets in the games from items to recruitable characters to secret chapters to the previously announced benefits that are unlocked with relationships. You can enjoy multiple playthroughs mixing up party members, relationships, items, classes, and builds to play.  It's even got you covered if you don't want to replay but want a little more after the story with post game maps for just enjoying your party and taking on challenges if your not ready to say bye to the characters yet.

[darklordazalin]

Azalin reviews Darklord Vecna

Domain: Cavitius Domain Formation: 750 BC Power Level: 💀💀💀💀 💀 Sources: Vecna Lives! (2e), Vecna Reborn (2e), Die Vecna, Die! (2e), Book of Artifacts (2e), Domains of Dread (2e), Dragon Magazine #402 (4e), Vecna Dossier (5e)

Vecna is known by many names. The Master of the Spider Throne. The Lord of the Rotted Tower. The Maimed God/Lord. The One Named Only in Whispers. The Whispered One. The Dying King. The Undying King. While imprisoned in the Mists of Ravenloft, he was known as the Chained God. Aren’t we all?

The ‘history’ surrounding the lives of those that ascended to godhood are obscured by time, embellishments, and outright lies of their followers. Vecna’s is no different. Likely only Vecna, who holds onto secrets like a miser holds onto copper pieces, knows the full truth in these matters.

Vecna was born on my home world of Oerth. Many powerful wizards hail from Oerth: Mordenkainen, Iggwilv, Acerarak, and myself to name a few, but Vecna was said to be the ‘greatest of all wizards’. Though, his life is said to pre-date the ascendancy of the Suloise Empire, so there weren’t likely many wizards to compare him to at the time.

His origins on Oerth aren’t well known, though new information indicates he was born into the peasantry and studied magic in secret when he was forced into servitude after his mother was exiled for performing ‘dark magics’ e.g., the best kind of Necromancy. Despite this recent glimpse into his life, some believe he is from another plane of existence and others say his Rotted Tower simply sprung out of the deeps of the Lake of Nyr Dyv. More likely he was born and rose to power in more traditional and less fantastical means.

Vecna was a master of the arcane and he conquered entire regions of Oerth by creating armies of the undead, constructs, and mortals subjugated to his will. As city after city fell to Vecna’s might, it was not enough for him for only Vecna’s ego could surpass his arcane prowess. Newer scholars believe Vecna rose up against his Master’s and with the whispered voices of an unknown entity (the Serpent, perhaps?) penned all of his evil into the Book of Vile Darkness. Given some of the ‘feats’ in this book of his, I can confirm that it is aptly named.

How did Vecna become a god? Well, the one truth that remains consistent among the many tales surrounding this lich is he had a lust for power and domination that, regardless of how much he took, he could never satisfy. The Zarovan Vistani tell a tale in which Vecna became obsessed with overcoming death after his dear mother passed. An extreme reaction to the death of a parent, but it seems to be a requirement of lichdom to have parental issues…

In his quest for eternal life, Vecna is said to have bred entire villages purely for the purposes of experimenting on them and that he reshaped the landscape of Oerth with his magics – many claim that it was Vecna who created the Bright Desert. Given he was not even a lich when he apparently accomplished these feats, it is more likely that he caused a bit of a drought once with some ill-conceived weather magic.

Vecna used Necromancy to extend his life as he continued to search for a way to extend it indefinitely. There are some that say Vecna was cursed into lichdom by powers greater than his own to punish his pride and arrogance. Though, if that was the case they should have targeted Mordenkainen by now. There is also the mysterious entity known as the Serpent that speaks directly into Vecna’s mind, revealing to him the secrets of multiverse and perhaps provided him with the knowledge to transform into a lich. This Serpent could exist or it could be a creation of Vecna’s own decaying mind. Perhaps a leftover imaginary friend from when he was a child and no one wished to converse with him? I personally believe he sought lichdom himself and most stories tell how he conducted dark, mysterious rituals to transform himself. I’m sure I am more than familiar with the sort of ritual he performed.

Another name that Vecna should consider donning is The Betrayed Lord of He Who Misplaces his Trust. Many know of Kas’s betrayal, but there was another before him: a wizard Apprentice of his known as Acerarak. With desires to obtain his master’s secrets, Acerarak orchestrated Vecna’s near annihilation at the hands of the priests of Pelor. When the lich was at the brink of destruction, Acerarak made a convenient appearance and saved him.

Acerarak soon stole his Master’s secrets and quickly departed before his treachery was discovered. Seeing what Acerarak became, I think it is easy enough to figure out what sort of secrets he stole from Vecna. You’d be correct in blaming Vecna for any damage the Tomb of Horrors/Annihilation has done to you. Humiliated, Vecna became more obsessed with his secrets, swearing to never make the same mistake again.

Then there was Kas the Bloody-Handed or the Destroyer or ultimately, the Betrayer. Kas rose quickly in the ranks of Vecna’s armies, his merciless violence matching Vecna’s own and eventually he became Vecna’s top lieutenant and adviser. If the lich ever had a friend, it was Kas. The two would spend countless hours scheming together to expand Vecna’s empire. So fond of Kas was Vecna, that he extend his life through necromancy. Something I have granted my most loyal of servants. For what better gift is there than the gift of serving me longer…or even forever?

There are two tales regarding how Kas became a vampire. In one, after he could no longer extend his life, Vecna gifted him with a silver, fanged masked. Upon donning the mask, Kas accepted the gift of immortality as a vampire. In the tales told by Vecna’s loyal followers, Kas became a vampire after the pair were claimed by the Mists. I think it more likely the former tale to be the truth as it shows Vecna misplacing his trust a second time, which would be rather embarrassing for a deity of secrets.

As his empire grew, Vecna relied heavily on Kas. He became the lich’s hand of justice and spokesman. Kas’s word was considered as good as Vecna’s. Still, the lich’s past haunted him and the Paranoid Lord could not fathom anyone having true loyalty to him without ulterior motives.

Vecna crafted a sword for Kas. Bards would have you believe the sword was made from the heart of a frozen star and forged in the flames of a stolen sun. Utter nonsense, of course, but it was a very powerful weapon. The lich infused part of his essence into the blade in order to overhear Kas’s plans and, on occasion, read his very thoughts. Perhaps such mind reading spells were beyond Vecna’s abilities? As that seems like a far simpler method.

Kas gave the sword the very original name of The Sword of Kas. The sword, annoyed by its moniker and having taken on far too much of it’s creator’s personality, desired domination and the hording of secrets. Instead of allowing Vecna access to Kas’s conversations and mind, the sword fooled the lich with false thoughts of loyalty while it influenced Kas to betray him. Yes, the God of Secrets and Magic was fooled by a sword he created.

While Vecna was performing complex rituals to ascend to godhood, the sword convinced Kas to attack and destroy the lich. The two were, by all accounts, evenly matched and in the end the only things left of the pair were Vecna’s left hand and eye and the Sword of Kas. All of these artifacts are said to still exist on Oerth and at times, elsewhere. The Sword is one of the few things that may be able to kill the deity of secrets. The eye and hand of Vecna are incredibly powerful, but to use them is to invite the Whispered One into your very soul. Their use in the past has only resulted in disaster for the welders and more often than not fail them at a crucial moment. Fitting for the lich who was cut down by the sword of his own making (unmaking?) by his ‘loyal’ lieutenant while trying to become a god.

Vecna’s essence roamed in between worlds for decades or centuries depending on the source. Foolish mortals continued to worship the fallen lich allowing Vecna to grow in power and become a demigod. That was not enough for his ego, however, and Vecna wished to reshape Oerth in his own image. Working through an Avatar, Vecna began his campaign of domination anew.

Through his Avatar, Vecna had a strong tie to the Prime Material Plane. If he had been satisfied with mere demigodhood, he would never have had this weakness nor a way for the Dark Powers to claim him. But since Vecna’s ego always demands more, the Mists claimed him and his fortress, the Citadel Cavitius.

In Ravenloft, Vecna seethed and obsessed with escaping, but he was also distracted by the presence of Kas the Betrayer, now the lord of Tovag and just on the other side of the volcanic range known as the Burning Peaks that seperated Vecna’s Domain of Cavitus from Kas’s. They sent armies against one another, but as Vlad Drakov has yet to figure out, they could do very little damage to one another.

Cavitius encompassed a life draining desert and a single city, the Cavitius Citadel, where the living survived on fear and desperation. For Vecna knew every event, every thought that occurred within the Citadel’s walls. He was said to “fear none of the living” yet his laws essentially amounted to not worshiping Vecna = death. The lich even outlawed the use of magic just in case one of his subjects decided to rise against him. Sounds like he feared mortals quite a bit, actually.

Trapped in the Mists, Vecna was still a demigod. Some of his more potent abilities include being able to cast any wizard or cleric spell, teleport instantly anywhere in his Domain, and reach his followers outside of Ravenloft. Only the most powerful magical weapons can hope to harm Vecna and even if someone manages to destroy him, he eventually rises again.

Vecna did escape Ravenloft, though because of his pride and desire for vengeance against Kas, he failed in his first attempt. The Serpent taught Vecna the Three Words of Creation, which would transcend him into godhood and thereby break free of his prison. He could have done this without bothering with Kas, but instead he attempted to use the Three Words to be reborn in Togav where he could destroy Kas then escape. This plan ultimately failed as a group of adventurer’s stopped him.

As one should, Vecna did not give up hope and made another attempt to escape, this time ignoring Kas. He knew that in order to become a true god he would need to complete a ritual in which he consumed the essence of another demigod. Seeing as there were no other such beings in Cavitius, Vecna created two tablets, shadowed in mystery and lies, that promised the secrets of transcendence. These tablets drew Iuz, the Corpse King, to Vecna. Iuz invaded Cavitius through a portal from Oerth, but instead of finding his own ascension there, he was consumed by Vecna.

Vecna ascended to true godhood and escaped the Mists. He made his way to the City of Doors (Sigil) and as is his nature, attempted to reshape the entire multiverse in his image. Vecna obviously failed as we are not currently living in a world made up entirely of skulls and imaginary snake friends. Though it is only a matter of time before Vecna tries again…

[sunflowergem]

9 (Could you be roommates with this character?) for all the BG3 companions >:3c

So my first thought was a giant house with everybody in it which would be just absolute chaos. But obviously it's more meant to be one-on-one so let's go through them.

Astarion: Hmmmmm, I think I would be able to live with him but it wouldn't be ideal. He would probably be a little too mean too often, not even like a truly mean way. But like you know, he's a sassy guy and I am unfortunately rather sensitive. With a good amount of communication, I feel like we could become friends perhaps, but there's definitely going to be some rough patches in the first like year or so. Although we could get along pretty well as far as fashion and sewing goes, which would be fun. I make clothes and he embroiders them, sounds like a delightful hobby to have a bond over.

Gale: Solid roommate material for sure! Comes with furry friend, cooking skills, and a library, hell yeah! Also info dumping is my love language, biggest risk here is that I'd probably end up with a crush or eventually dating him. I'd treat him better than his ex for sure.

Halsin: Would we get along? Yes! Would there be a constant battle within my mind of him reminding me a little too much of my father but also being ridiculously attractive and that leading me to confront some deep-seated issues that I need to address someday with a professional? Also, yes! And I'm not sure if I'm ready to confront that part of myself. We probably have some kick-ass house plants though and I bet he makes the best cup of tea.

Jaheira: I feel like she wouldn't be home often and like would be kind of keeping to herself when she is. So I'd say yeah I could easily be her roommate. We both stay in our own lanes but were responsible. Probably be very healthy situation.

Karlach: Ignoring the fire hazard, I think she'd make a solid roommate. I feel like we'd have chore chart kind of synergy going on. Also opportunities to cuddle (I feel like there is possibility of that leading to some feelings as well, but that would not being negative) and like late night baking sessions randomly I could see popping up real easy. Kind of reminds me when I lived with my bestie for a while. In that context, it was only one room and we shared it which was a little tricky, but I have a lot of fond memories from those times<3

Lae'zel: Mmmmaybe? This is probably going to go one of three ways. One she ignores me and we just kind of cohabitate. Two she takes an interest in me and starts training me as a way to bond. I do like swords and would love to learn how to use one so this is not the worst but she would definitely be a harsh trainer. Or three she straight up kills me at some point. I don't know if I'd be able to sleep well for a while living under the same roof TBH

Minsc: This is actually the last one I wrote. Despite where it is in the list, I put them in alphabetical order because I couldn't decide how to order them. It is really hard to decide whether or not he would be a compatible roommate. Like I want to say yes cuz I like the guy. Plus he comes with a friendly hamster! But he is also kind of a wild guy I think. And I'm not sure what would be like cleanliness levels with him, which is a little bit of a thing with me. We're going to give this one a solid maybe.

Minthara: No. I would die. Even if she gets attached she's going to try toughen me up and I would die.

Shadowheart: Yeah I think we could chill as roommates. She doesn't try and push religion down anyone's throat and in the beginning for sure keeps to herself. As she becomes more friendly with you. She becomes a really chill lady overall. We'd probably be able to have some interesting deep philosophical conversations after she resolves some personal issues. This one would also probably evolve into either dating or everyone thinks we're dating, once again, very similar to my real life bestie.

Wyll: He would probably be a fantastic roommate, too bad about his overbearing boss who constantly comes over unannounced. But seriously, he's kind. He's respectful. He's thoughtful. This one very much probably evolve into some form of romance as well because I'm a bit of a flirt when I become comfortable with people and honestly kind of he gives that same vibe. This would definitely not be a negative cuz he is definitely husband material. Still got to find him a better job though and possibly resolve a few issues with his dad. But hey, we can bond over father trauma!

I don't know if it's just personal bias or if this would actually be some chemistry, but so many of these I think would turn into rom-com situations. It also could just be the source material being unrelentlessly horny. Which considering I'm asexual will be very funny. Not impossible cuz demisexual but definitely would be a slow burn kind of situation.

[itskikanow]

In honor of the DLC coming out tomorrow I’ve replayed Error 143 to enjoy the adorable dork that is Micah Yujin. So let me gush about him will ya.

Micah Yujin is the main character and only love interest of the indie dating sim called Error 143 made by Jenny Vi Pham and her crew. The main premise is that you, the player, lost in a coding/hacking competition to your rival (Micah) and you as the sane level headed person as you are decided to troll him by hacking his computer and leaving a note “Ha, whose the better hacker now”. In response Micah hacks you back and puts you in his not discord server that he made and from then on comedy ensues.

The gameplay is pretty straightforward, it’s like every other dating sim. There’s the occasional hacking minigame that is just hangman which is neat, but the whole design of the whole game is so cool. I love pixel art and not discord looks fantastic with it. I also find it elegant that the parts without voice acting look like chat conversations, and the conversations with voice acting to be video calls is fucking great!

Also his voice actor goes hard!!! Corey Wilder is a talented va and I wish nothing but the best for them!^^

Micah himself is a funny playful cheeky guy with a shit eating grin on his face. His banter with the player is honestly hilarious and wholesome at times. He doesn’t hide the fact that he thinks you’re hot and he starts being flirty around day one or two. Him and the player have some good chemistry and they really match each other’s vibe. (Oh yeah forgot to mention but the player character actually have a personality in this game. They’re not a fully fleshed out character but it’s more than what the player character gets in these games. The only other time I can think something similar happened was in The Arcana [also a great dating sim I do recommend that])

The story spans out 5 days (well, 4 actually cuz day 4 is pretty short). In those 5 days the player and Micah get to know each other pretty quickly and it’s pretty obvious you both really like each other. And Micah puts his money where his mouth is because on day 5 he makes your dream first date come true. I find that so wholesome and sweet like on my first playthrough my first thought ‘I wanna hug him’ and ‘AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!’ (And that’s just one of the sweetest things he does in game, there’s like two other one which I both adore a ton.)

But I couldn’t because the game ended! 🥲🥲🥲🥲 (Thankfully the dlc is coming and will probably give me that option and I honestly cannot wait!^^) It is a short game but it’s definitely one of the best ones out there!

I also remember when this game first came out it got really popular in just a few short days. And I also cannot forget how in just one night a bunch of twitter ghouls jumped on the creator and accused her of fetishizing black men, hiring a va who voiced in a pe** game and how her writing is actually very racist because….. she shared some old concept ideas for Micah’s parents that are not even canon. Back then I was pretty scared about those accusations because I myself am not white and thought “oh fuck what if actual black people found something actually problematic that I’ve missed”. In reality what actually happened was a bunch of racists didn’t like that there was a dating sim out there with the main love interest being a half Korean half African American. And they hurled shit on both Jenny and Corey. I even saw people whom I used to follow take those accusations seriously and write it of as “ah even when we get a dating sim with a black love interest there’s always a catch”. (I was honestly baffled by them cuz, ‘wha- you can’t be serious! There’s gotta be something more to this’.) Thankfully Jenny managed to resolve that drama in the end by explaining everything in a tweet longer? (idk the exact name of it but you know what that is) and addressing every main accusation while also addressing how the harassment has affected her. I’m honestly proud how she managed to still write on Twitter where most would’ve gone silent to take a break from that bullshit. But she and Corey shouldn’t have been subjected to that kind of harassment in the first fucking place.

Still, I’m so happy that things are better now. I don’t have Twitter anymore (and I’ve been much happier since) so I don’t know if anything similar happened since then (hopefully not).

Amidst all that bullshit tho there were some people who gave genuine constructive criticism, one I can remember is about Micah’s inconsistent hair texture. Since there are a lot of artists in the team they all drew his hair a little differently every time. Jenny responded to that critique apologizing and doing some research before deciding what Micah’s hair type is gonna be. Ever since then his hair has been consistent in official arts. The assets in game hadn’t been switched out but by the sneak peeks she posted on Instagram, it looks like they’re gonna be finally.

(Ok I originally wanted to write down his hair type but I’m actually not sure what she said cuz I forgor but comparing his hair to pictures on google, seems to his hair is either 4B, 4C or a mix between those two. I’m sorry I don’t remember 🥲)

My apologies for the detour there. My final thoughts about the game though is that it’s amazing, fun and I adore Micah a lot! If you like dating sims, fun and wholesome cheesy romance then I can recommend it to you wholeheartedly!^^

[multi-lefaiye]

Yknow what here's a fun one for you: Do they see The Stepford Wives(2004) as mainly a Comedy, a Horror, or a Cringefest? (i'm in the horror camp, it unnerves me a lot worse than the original did.) and for a little queer test, how do they feel about Roger specifically.

OKAY GENUINELY THOUGH-

i think i actually remember seeing people bring up the stepford wives in a conversation about misinterpretations of midsommar, but i'll admit i haven't seen it myself so there's not much i can add here.

i also wanna do on a quick side tangent here. under the cut b/c this is rambly nonsense

so i'm not at all opposed to the usage of terms like "cozy horror" or w/e but goddamn the use of that gets on my nerves at times. i don't think it's at all bad to find comfort in horror, even more disturbing and upsetting horror concepts, but i think it's important to examine *why* you find something comforting. and i think midsommar is a *fantastic* example of this idea.

midsommar is a movie about a vulnerable person being drawn into and manipulated by a white supremacist cult. that's it. i see a lot of people describe it as cozy horror or a hard-hitting feminist narrative about a woman escaping a shitty boyfriend to find a community of people who truly care about her, and to be honest a lot of those arguments are significantly more disturbing to me than the movie itself, haha! because that isn't even a surface level reading of the movie--it's straight-up just falling for the same indoctrination that the main character experiences.

i don't think it's a red flag or anything for someone to enjoy midsommar or find some kind of comfort in that story (for example, i find it kind of cathartic in some ways to see the tragedy and horror of midsommar unfold, especially considering my personal history i won't be getting into here), but i am *very* suspect of people labeling it as "cozy horror" because i think that takes the bite out of this story. because it's not *cozy*, it's a horrific scenario and the ending is genuinely devastating if you're not approaching it through the superficial white feminist lens the cult uses to recruit the main character.

i don't know how much sense any of this makes actually, i just have a lot of thoughts about how people engage with horror as a genre. and like yeah sure there's no *wrong* way to enjoy fiction, but i am so so uneasy with folks who miss the point that fucking bad. because, y'know, not to make any broad sweeping generalizations, but how people interpret movies like midsommar can be *really fucking telling* for how they might handle a real situation like that.

(obligatory disclaimer: i am not at all saying that people who enjoy darker fiction like that or enjoy midsommar would be completely okay with a real-life cult situation like that. i'm just saying that people who look at midsommar as a girlboss feminist victory narrative about a woman taking revenge against her shitty boyfriend............. you missed the point to such a spectacular degree that i'm wary of whatever other opinions you might have regarding gender, race, etc.)

[vgckwb]

P5R: Rebel Girl (A FeMC Story/P5R Rework) Chapter 213: The Catalyst

As Ren was making her way through the school the next morning, she was stopped by Dr. Maruki. “Oh! Perfect timing. Do you have some time after school?”

Ren was a little nervous. “Um, maybe a bit. I’m supposed to meet some friends later. But um, I can talk for a little bit.”

“Oh, of course,” Maruki said. “This won’t take much time. I just want to go over a few things with you.”

“Sure. Yeah,” Ren replied. “If it won’t take too long.”

“Great!” Maruki replied. “Meet me by my office after school.”

“Very well,” Ren said, nodding. With that, she went off to class, and he went to his office.

After school, Mishima walked up to Makoto. “Hey.”

“Oh! Hello, Mishima,” Makoto said.

Mishima grinned. “I’ve been thinking about your offer, and I accept.”

Makoto was stunned. “Wait, really?”

Mishima nodded. “I’ll join the student council.”

“Well that’s fantastic!” Makoto replied. “We should get you set up right away.”

Mishima nodded. “Right.” The two of them started walking. “Oh, uh, am I going to be seeing you tonight as well?”

“Hm?” Makoto wondered.

“You know,” Mishima continued. “At Ann’s party. Shiho invited me.”

"Oh right,” Makoto said. “Of course.”

“Great!” Mishima said. They continued on.

Meanwhile, Maruki was waiting outside his office. He noticed Ren walking up. He smiled. “Glad you could make it.”

Ren smiled back. “Of course.” She gestured towards the office. “Shall we?”

“Actually,” Maruki interjected, “I was thinking we could go someplace else.”

“Someplace else?” Ren wondered.

Maruki nodded. “I’ve been saving up some money to take you someplace nice.” Ren was shocked. “I mean, as a thank you gift…” Maruki continued nervously. “Sorry. I heard what that seemed to imply when I said it out loud. But no, this is just a thank you gift.”

“I see…” Ren said.

“Anyways…” Maruki said. “I know just the place. Let’s go.”

“Sure,” Ren said. Together, they left the school

Ren couldn’t help but chuckle when she was guided up to the Wilton once again. Maruki was confused. “What’s so funny?”

“I’ve been here before,” Ren admitted.

“Oh,” Maruki said.

“Also, I don’t know how much you’ve made amends,” Ren said, “but Sumire’s mom works here as well.”

“I see…” Maruki said, nervously. “Actually, Sumire stopped by my office earlier, and we had a very amicable conversation. Although I don’t know if her parents feel the same way.”

Ren giggled. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Now let’s go. We only have so much time.”

“R-right!” Maruki said. They grabbed some food and took a seat. After taking a bite, Maruki remarked “This is delicious!”

“I’ll say!” Ren agreed. She kept eating.

Maruki stopped after a bit. “If you recall,” he interjected. Ren looked up. “I’ve been working on a research paper.”

“Oh yeah,” Ren said. “How’s that going?”

“I think I’m at a point where I’ve done everything I can by myself,” Maruki said.

“...Meaning…?” Ren wondered.

“I need someone to look it over,” Maruki said.

“Want me to do it?” Ren offered.

Maruki chuckled. “I mean it needs to be peer reviewed. Someone else on my level needs to do it and make sure everything’s up to snuff.”

“Oh,” Ren said.

Maruki smiled. “But it’s nice that you offered.” Ren chuckled. “It’s amazing though, how much I’ve learned taking this job. I know as a therapist, it’s my job to listen, but once I started actually listening, instead of working towards my own ends, I feel like I’m seeing colors I’ve never seen before, you know?”

Ren nodded. “I think I do. After coming here, I started opening up more, and that’s been more rewarding than I thought it could ever be.”

“Hm hm, that's the spirit,” Maruki said. They continued eating.

A little later, a man was walking past when he stopped. “Huh? Maruki?”

Maruki looked up. “Oh, Shibusawa! Maruki replied.

Shibusawa looked at Ren. “Ummmm, I mean, I can understand wanting a rebound, but I think she’s a bit too young for you.”

Ren swallowed her food. “Oh no. We’re just friends.”

“I see…” Shibusawa said.

Maruki chuckled. “She's helping me with my latest study.”

“Oh,” Shibusawa said. “Is this the same one as before?”

“Kind of,” Maruki said. “I did a little introspection, and I decided to change things up a little.”

“I see,” Shibusawa replied, impressed. “Well, when it gets to the peer review stage, give me a holler, OK?”

“Actually, I’m at that point now,” Maruki said. “This has been a long time coming.

“I see,” Shibusawa responded.

Maruki chuckled. “Ren, this is my friend from college, Shibusawa.”

“Hi,” Ren said.

“Hello,” Shibusawa replied.

“So, what brings you here?” Maruki asked.

“Oh, uh, well, you see,” Shibusawa replied, “I’m checking out different venues…”

Maruki was intrigued. “For what?”

Shibusawa smiled. “For my wedding.”

Maruki was stunned. “You’re getting married?!”

“Eh heh, yeah,” Shibusawa chuckled. “Although, I guess this means that you’re the last one from college to be flying solo. After what happened, I mean…”

“Hm,” Maruki grunted.

“Oh, uh, was that too far? Sorry.”

Maruki smiled. “No. It’s alright. But you know it’s not entirely true.”

“Hm?” Shibusawa wondered.

“I recently started dating again,” Maruki said.

Shibusawa was impressed. “Really?” Maruki nodded. “Congrats, man!”

“Hm hm, I should be saying that to you,” Maruki replied. “I mean, you’re getting married after all.”

“True,” Shibusawa said. “But congratulating someone isn’t a one way street.”

“I suppose that’s true as well,” Maruki said.

“You should bring her to the wedding,” Shbusawa said. “Who knows? She might catch the bouquet.”

“Um, it’s a little sudden, don’t you think?” Maruki answered.

“Well, think about it, at least,” Shibusawa said. “Anyways, I’m looking forward to reviewing your paper. Oh, and I’ll take care of the bill today too.”

“Um, don’t you need to save up for a wedding?” Ren asked. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Nah, my fiance’s father’s paying for the whole thing,” Shibusawa said.

Ren nodded. “Cool.” She paused for thought.

Maruki chuckled. “I know you’re thinking about your wedding, and who will pay for it, but I don’t think you need to be thinking about it for a while.”

“Maruki’s right,” Shibusawa said. “I proposed like six months ago and we still don’t have all the logistics down.”

“I see,” Ren said.

“Anyway, it was nice seeing you again,” Shibusawa said. “Oh, and you don’t need to bring your girlfriend, but I would like it if you came to the wedding.”

Maruki smiled. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Great!” Shibusawa replied. “Well, I gotta go. This is the third venue I’ve hit up today. Talk to you later!”

“Later!” Maruki said, as Shibusawa left. He sighed. “I was supposed to treat you.”

“Well, on the bright side, you have someone to review your paper, and got invited to a wedding,” Ren said.

“Hm,” Maruki nodded. “Not to mention letting someone know that I’m doing well again.”

“That too,” Ren said.

Maruki chuckled. “Life is really full of surprises, huh.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Ren said.

Maruki smiled. “Of course. But it is nice to be reminded of that every once in a while.” He paused. “I’m going to slightly break some confidentiality here, but Sumire told me recently that she was thankful for what I did. Not because it was right, but because it led to you.” Ren was shocked and embarrassed. “In some way, I feel the same about Eris. If she hadn’t destroyed my palace, I might still be harboring a utopian vision that I could force upon the world. I might not even be going out with Kawakami. I might still be a little too obsessed with Rumi. And while that pain isn’t gone, I’m starting to come around. So, I guess good things can come from bad things. Oh, but uh, I guess I didn’t need to tell you that either.”

Ren smiled. “It’s fine. Like you said, it is nice to be reminded.”

Maruki smiled back. “Right.”

Councilor-Takato Maruki: Rank 9

“Well, we should finish up what we have here,” Maruki said. “I know Shibusawa said he was paying, but I don’t want to overextend his kindness.” Ren nodded. The two of them finished eating, and then headed out.

Ren headed over to the park. She saw Ann, Ryuji, Shiho, and Mishima setting up at a table. Ann saw her “Oh! Hey there!”

Ren waved. “Hey.”

“We’re just finishing setting up,” Ann said.”It’s just going to be a small little thing. Just some cakes and tea, you know.”

“That sounds delightful,” Ren said.

“Great!” Ann said. “We’re just waiting on everyone else at this point.” Ren nodded.

“Hey honey,” Ryuji called. “Um, could you give me a hand for a second?”

“Coming!” Ann said. “You just wait here for a moment.” Ren nodded. Ann went to help Ryuji.

Mishima walked over not too long after. “Actually, while we have some time, do you mind if we talk?”

“I don’t see why not,” Ren said.

“Great!” Mishima said. “Let’s head over somewhere else. I don’t want to steal Ann’s thunder.” Ren nodded. They headed off. “So, um, I just need to say…Thank you.”

Ren was a little shocked. “What for?”

“Wll…I’m not stupid…” Mishima said. “I needed to change my heart. So thank you for stealing it.”

Ren blanked twice. “Um, I did no such thing.”

“Huh?” Mishima thought. “I thought…” Ren chuckled. “That was all you. Well, maybe I pushed you a little, but I didn’t go that far.”

“Huh…” Mishima said, reflecting on things. “So I did all of that on my own?” Ren nodded. “Wow.”

“I knew you could,” Ren said.

“Hmmm, maybe,” Mishima said. “I guess I was lost in what others could do that I ignored what I could do.” He sighed. “You know, when I tried to get you to break up that celebrity couple, I knew they had a history. I guess I was just jealous that they had something I wanted. Same with Akiyama.”

Mishima smiled. He continued “But now? I’ve learned that I can’t just take the easy way out. That’s what I was doing by passively being in the volleyball team, and that’s what I was hoping for with the Phansite. But after everything, I think I’m making strides forward. Did you know that Shiho and I are dating now?”

Ren was surprised. “I did not. Congratulations!”

Mishima chuckled. “Thanks. Also, Makoto invited me to the student council. I said yes.”

“Wow, you’re going a mile a minute, huh,” Ren remarked.

“Well, I gotta make up for lost time,” Mishima said. “Besides, it’s just the first part of my plan.”

“What is your plan?” Ren asked.

MIshima smiled. “I want to write a book. A book about you guys. You’v helped me out so much, but once you guys aren’t The Phantom Thieves any more, I want people to know what you were like. Some details can get lost to history, so I want to make sure your legacy is preserved as best I can. After all, you saved me. I’m sure with this book you’ll save someone too.”

Ren giggled “That sounds lovely. But you know, we couldn’t have gotten as far as we have without you either.”

Mishima nodded. “You know, for the first time, I can honestly feel the same. Thanks.”

I am thou, thou art I

Thou hast turned a vow into a blood oath.

Thy bond shall become the wings of rebellion and break the yoke of thy heart.

Thou hast awakened to the ultimate secret of the Moon, granting thee infinite power…

Moon-Yuuki Mishima: Rank 10

Ryuji rushed over. “There you guys are. The party’s about to start”

Ren chuckled. “Coming!” The three of them headed to the party. Upon arrival, they saw the remaining Phantom Thieves, Kisa, Hiroki, and Eiko at the table. They took their seats, and the party began.

Shiho raised her cup. “To Ann!”

Everyone else followed suit. “Too Ann!” they chanted.

Ann chuckled. “Thanks everyone.”

“Don’t mention it,” Shiho said.

“Oh hey, when’s everyone else’s birthdays?” Ryuji asked. “So we can plan better, you know?”

Ann smiled. “I do know.” She giggled. “Well, you know mine’s tomorrow.”

“Mine’s July 22nd,” Shiho replied.

“I’m July 3rd,” Ryuji added.

“Mine’s not for a while,” Makoto said. “April 17th.”

“Mine’s not as far off as yours Makoto-senpai,” Sumire said, “but it’s still a ways away. March 25th.”

“I’m January 28th,” Yusuke said.

“Oh, uh, mine is August 16th,” Lena chimed in.

“Wait, did we miss your birthday?!” Ann wondered.

“Well…” Lena said. “A lot was happening around then. Besides, I had plans to talk with my family back in America .”

“I see,” Ann said.

“Oh, and I know Goro couldn’t make it but his is June 2nd,” Lena added.

“Oh, um, we just missed mine,” Eiko said. “November 3rd.”

“Well, not entirely,” Makoto said. “You told me that you moving in was everything you wanted.”

"And it was,” Eiko said. “But I wouldn’t mind a gathering like this for next year.”

Makoto nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Kisa looked over at Sumire. “We aren’t too far apart. Mine is March 3rd.”

“Oh, well that’s nice,” Sumire said.

"Mine's close to Sumire's," Jose said. "March 20th."

"That's on;y a few days apart," Sumire remarked.

"It is," Jose said.

“Mine might be closer to yours Kisa,” Futaba said. “I’m February 19th."

Haru chuckled. “Sorry. I don’t think you’ll beat anyone else in closeness for birthdays.”

“Really?” Hiroki said.

Haru nodded. “It just so happens that Hiroki and I share a birthday. December 5th.” Hiroki sighed. Haru giggled. “I think it’s neat.”

“It is,” Hiroki said. “Also, slightly embarrassing.”

Ren chuckled. “Well, speaking of shared plans, my birthday is December 31st.”

“Eh heh,” Mishima chuckled. “My birthday has the same issue. February 14th.”

Everyone was shocked. “Really?!” Ryuji exclaimed.

Mishima nodded. “Really really.”

Ann chuckled. “Well, now that we know, we can plan around these sorts of things, OK?” Everyone agreed.

"Oh yeah," Futaba wondered. "Do we know when Morgana's birthday is?"

"I've been wondering that myself," Yusuke added.

Everyone looked at Morgana, who was at the edge of the table eating sushi just for him. He swallowed what he was chewing on and said "February 28th."

Ren smirked. "February 28th," she repeated.

Eiko chuckled. "It's almost as if you understood what he said."

"Yeah... Almost..." Makoto said.

Ann chuckled. "Well, with that out of the way, let's party!" Everyone cheered. They continued their party. Under the table, Shiho reached out to Mishima. Mishima took her hand, and they held hands until it was time to go.

[bokutosbiceps]

[here for the matchup trade!'

fandoms i would like: same as yours, bsd and demon slayer. no preference as long as they arent too young!

prominent personality traits: passionate, levelheaded, contemplative, opinionated, honest (heart on my sleeve). realistic but optimistic about it. individualistic. i am an ambivert. sometimes my mouth runs and i trip up over what i am going to say, and i'm blunt. sx/sp. im a big person on wanting improvement and having ambition (mostly for myself, but i will encourage others).

hobbies/talents: i like to read and write and listen to music and taking walks. i draw too. i'm really good at explaining things in a very cohesive manner. my logic is really good, so my persuasion is extremely good too. im very efficient and creative, which i apply to many things in real life. i also have very good intuition.

-> appearance-wise, i’m east asian, with a wispy middle part and shoulder length black hair! i look more cute-sque than hot or whatnot.

thank you for this matchup exchange!

the PRESSURE !! after you wrote me that fantastic match up, i am feeling the p r e s s u r e … 😅 but i’ve got some spicy snacks + the motivation so here we go!! i hope you love your matches 😁

bungou stray dogs

i match you with DAZAI OSAMU 🖤

you + dazai would just be two little peas in a pod. the thing he appreciates most about you is your appreciation for ambition, as well as how you can tell someone like it is! he hates people who beat around the bush, but he really revels in the fact that he’ll never have to worry about that with you. you guys rarely ever fight because every discussion is level headed + free of insults/trickery (on your part at least, we all know dazai can be a cunning man). dazai could sit + listen to you talk for h o u r s. he’ll be sitting there with his chin resting on his open palm, a small smirk on his lips as he listens to you talk about whatever you’re passionate about that day. after you’re done with your speech, he’ll just wrap his arms around your waist and give you a sweet smile and a kiss on the cheek.

getting to know dazai can be difficult, though, even if he loves you. he’s very closed off + protective of his feelings, so it takes a lot for him to be able to trust someone. when he met you, though, he could see that you were his twin flame. he felt as though you’d be able to understand the inner workings of his heart and mind, so he’d share them with you. you’re the one + only person he’d open up to like that, so be grateful! conversations with him can be so deep and provoking that you’ll both be left squinting at the sunlight streaming in through your windows, wrapped up in each other’s arms, after pulling an all-nighter just to talk.

dazai thinks you’re soooo intelligent, so he’ll often ask you for advice if there’s a situation at the detective agency that’s got him stumped. he’s so thankful to have you on his slide, because you truly can open his mind to perspectives he’s never seen. he also really admires the way you can bring things together to flow so smoothly, + he believes that this is truly a showing of just how smart you are! with that being said, dazai will constantly be trying to challenge your intelligence. whether that be with little riddles, pranks, games of chess/checkers, quizzes on random facts he’s picked up on—all of it, you gotta stay on your toes!

dazai’s favorite thing to do with you is to walks around downtown yokohama! he knows you love going for walks + he can identify with that, as walks usually help him clear his mind. you guys will stroll next to the river, in between the tall buildings, stopping at various food or knick knacks stalls just to see what there is to see. you guys pretty much have the entire city mapped out by heart from how many walks you go on. dazai tries to make it a nightly occurrence, only because he knows that work can keep him pretty busy, so being able to hear you, his favorite person, talk about your day while strolling around yokohama, his favorite city, is the best way he can think of to unwind after work.

demon slayer

i match you with RENGOKU KYOJURO 🧡

rengoku love love LOVES your passionate + optimistic self! its something he admires so deeply about you, like he really couldn’t have chosen a better person for himself. he wouldn’t be able to get along with someone who’s closed minded or negative, but he always tries his best to befriend most people! he doesn’t have to try with you, though, it’s extremely natural for him. he also really admires that you’re always striving for improvement + that you have great ambition, because he can definitely relate to that. he loves that your relationship consists of building each other up + encouraging each other to do your best + give your all no matter what you do.

a relationship w rengoku would being by his side at all times. he never wants to let you out of his sight! whether he’s training, reading, sleeping, eating, he’ll want you to be there! on a cozy night, one could find you + rengoku cuddled up under a kotatsu, reading or writing, often interrupting each other to show off something one of you found interesting in your book or to get opinions on your writing. he’s the biggest cuddle bug in the world, so he absolutely loves any sort of physical contact or affections from you. in his perfect world, you’d always be underneath that kotatsu in the winter, or splayed out on a futon in the summer, with your fingers running through his fiery locks while he just listens to whatever is on your mind.

another thing about rengoku is that he always wants to make sure you’re taken care of. it’s always “have you eaten?” or “did you sleep well?” or “do you need help with anything?” he’s your number one fan + he always wants to make sure that you’re content in life. if there’s anything that’s upsetting you, he will coax you into telling him + then immediately figure out a way to solve it. if it’s something that he has no control over, the empath in him will take over + he will also be upset. sometimes even more upset than you are. we love showings of solidarity in a partner.

rengoku also really wants you to be safe at all times, even though he’s almost always around to protect you, he worries for the day that he won’t be around when you need him. with this being said, you two will spend countless hours training. he’ll teach you the basics + teach you special ways in which you can protect yourself until he’s absolutely satisfied. it’s a dangerous world out there, but rengoku will be damned if his girl can’t protect herself!

a/n: idk how you managed to be matched w two of the hottest men in their respective franchises LOL it’s just what you deserve, what can i say 😉 anyways, i really hope you liked them !! thank you so much (again) for mine 😁

[signalwatch]

Kevin Conroy Merges With The Infinite

Here at The Signal Watch, we're absolutely heartbroken to hear that actor Kevin Conroy has passed.  

Conroy voiced Bruce Wayne/ Batman across innumerable cartoons, video games and other projects.  For generations of Bat-fans was the definitive portrayal of the character.  

In 1992, when Batman: The Animated Series hit the air, I was a Senior in high school, and - I don't think unreasonably - skeptical of any new Batman cartoons that might appear, believing that they'd be of about GI Joe or Transformer levels in quality of story and art, the same voice actors working from show to show.  I don't think it was snobbery.  I was just now older and stuff aimed at 8 year olds was not in my wheelhouse anymore.

You don't often remember the first time you saw a cartoon, but... boy, do I remember that one.  It was the pilot Man-Bat episode that was an absolute showcase for what they were doing stylistically and technically.  I had not heard of Bruce Timm at the time, but I knew someone had read and understood the comics.  And, look, I am a fan of the Michael Keaton/ Tim Burton Bat-films, but they're their own thing.  They bear almost zero relation to Batman of the comics.  This was the storytelling of the comics, but with a look and feel that borrowed one part from the Anton Furst designs and one part from Dick Tracy and one part from the Fleischer cartoons.  Absolutely gorgeous stuff no one had seen on TV before.

The point is, I don't know what I expected a Batman cartoon to be in 1992, but I remember Batman opening his mouth and a baritone, gravelly voice came out that was somehow exactly how Batman should sound.  Even more incredible, when he removed the cowl and spoke as Bruce Wayne - he had an actual alter-ego.  

And then my girlfriend at the time called and I remember "uh-huh"ing my way through the conversation as I watched this incredible show unspool in front of me.  And given the way shows worked back then, I lost my mind knowing this would be on five days per week.  How?  I do recall trying to explain what was happening on TV to my ladyfriend, and her saying "Ok, cool.  Anyway..."  You will note, that romance was not to last.

This was 1992, so social media didn't exist.  If BBS's covered it, I didn't know because my family hadn't had a computer since the Apple IIe was boosted in the infamous break-in in Spring of 1991.  

So, by myself I watched this show somewhat religiously. I didn't have friends into this stuff, so it took a visit by my brother from college before I could do the "LOOK.  LOOOOOOOOOK!!!" thing I wanted to do so badly.

My first year at the University of Texas, I found myself reunited with JAL (he of the podcast), a pal from my days growing up in Austin (I moved to Houston in 1990) and I think we'd been hanging out for maybe an hour when JAL said "you know the guy who plays Batman looks just like Scott Summers" (that's X-Men's Cyclops to you and me).  It was maybe 2-3 years before I saw a picture of Kevin Conroy, and, wow, was JAL right.

Kevin Conroy brought gravitas and drama to Batman.  While I understood the wild-eyed danger of Michael Keaton (who I think showed his true menace perfectly in the Spider-movies), he was not Batman as I understood him to be from multiple comics per month that I'd read for a few years now.  Nor were two 2-hour movies the same as 30 minutes, 5 days per week.  Timm's design, Dini's story aesthetic - all fantastic.  But it was in making Batman rumble through your TV's tinny speakers that Conroy brought the myth of a Batman to life.  

This was a voice that would send shivers up the spines of criminals, but Conroy also humanized it when it was right to do so.  He was genuinely acting, not reading off lines on a page.  In part, you can thank the always amazing Andrea Romano for working with the showrunners to find that sweet spot that went from that first episode of Batman to the final scenes of JLU.  And in the years to come, when Conroy would step back in front of the mic, he was both a reminder of the greatness of the era and a pointer to what WB could have done better in every project after Romano retired.  

By the early 00's, Conroy was appearing in DVD extras and then online, and at Cons.  His fans got to know who he was, and he did not disappoint.  While a mere mortal of good humor, he very much understood what it meant to be the voice of Batman to multiple generations of fans, and he never took it lightly or seemed to think it was silly or just a job.  He got what people looked for and heard in his performance.  

It was a nuanced performance over the years, including the surprisingly resonant Batman: Mask of the Phantasm to Batman sitting with Ace as she blinked out in that one episode of JLU.  No matter what the edgelords would think a *real* Batman was like - we'd know.  Conroy had brought it to life.

During the CW's daring Crisis on Infinite Earths riff, he actually did play Bruce Wayne, so the role was not limited to animation.

In those interviews, etc...  I genuinely liked the guy.  He seemed like the kind of person you'd want to include in your "you can have dinner with any six people" kind of conversation.  But, mostly, I don't think you can measure how much Conroy helped push Batman and superheroes from a novelty when it wasn't a campy disaster or mediocrity for undiscriminating kids to set the stage for everything that would come after - from video games to the MCU.  I'm not sure you get the recent Batman film without Conroy's Batman carrying Batman for decades and people growing up believing that taking Batman seriously is a normal thing to do.

I'm absolutely stunned at Conroy's passing.  He was only 66.  I'd heard nothing of illness, just what he might be up to next.  Like Chadwick Boseman passing, it's catching me totally by surprise.  

What I can say is that Bat-fans and comic folk are a bit like baseball fans.  Many consider Conroy the ideal version of Batman - myself included - and like a good baseball fan, we'll pass down the names of the greats for a hundred years.  And the good news is, there's so much of a record of that performance.  We'll be able to return to it again and again, and it will guide performers for generations.  

https://ift.tt/DOvEXL7

[dannythedog]

hello! may i have a ship? i love seeing who people pair me with, it’s incredibly fun!

my name is holly and i am 20!

i am plus size, 4’11 and have wildly curly hair :)

i am known as the funny friend! i love to make my friends giggle but most importantly i love to make myself laugh too! though i am the funny friend, i am also the smart friend. i value school and learning, and i never want to graduate. i just want to keep getting degrees! (currently working on a forensics and chemistry degree !). i could talk all day about chemistry and forensic science. besides being book smart, i’m also a problem solver. i am typically the person people come to for level headed advice. i’m not afraid to stick up for myself, or my friends but i also like to be kind to everyone, and often say i am friends with everyone (i can have a conversation with a brick wall). i enjoy hanging out with my peeps, but i honestly prefer doing so in the comfort of my home, the movie theater or the bowling alley (i am terrible at bowling but i love it so much). when i am not doing school work, (which i tend to overachieve so it’s not often) i am hanging out with my dog, doodling, or watching tv! (dance moms is my guilty pleasure 😔).

thank you so much for doing these :•)))

I ship you with Sam!

I think you two smarty pants would get on fantastically. You guys would always have something to teach each other. He would definitely watch you if you had any online courses so he could learn right along with you.

I think your levelheadedness would reel Sam in when needed. I think he's the kind to get overexcited occasionally and would really benefit from gentle reminders from you.

Sammy would bring the movie theater to you. He knows that you enjoy staying in, so he'd set up a projector outside, set out blankets, pillows, snacks, and then invite a few of your closest friends for a movie night.

You two would definitely adopt a puppy together too ;)

[always-andromeda]

Hi! Sorry to just pop in and ramble about Religious Trauma™️ but I saw your previous couple of posts and wanted to say that I've had such similar experiences!! I was raised Catholic (I am no longer Catholic tho) and at Youth Ministry (so like, middle school mostly), they did a thing where they passed a chocolate bar around to all the boys and had them break off a piece so that when it came back to the leader it was all gone. And of course that was meant to represent a woman when she has premarital sex with too many men: "there's nothing left for her husband." I've also had friends who were raised religious say that they've seen similar things (I think they have a name actually, like "purity exercises" or something???) with the boys chewing gum, spitting in a glass of water, or plucking the petals off a rose. And now that I'm older I am just so completely horrified. Like WHAT??? That is so beyond not okay.

Anyway, sorry to jump in with negative stuff, but I think it's so important that we have these conversations since many of these types of religions try to shame people into silence or intentionally isolate them from the community if they choose to leave.

But to end on a slightly nicer note, Maddie Zahm has an incredible song called "If It's Not God" which is all about her coming to terms with her own beliefs and fighting through her religious trauma. Would highly recommend to anyone who hasn't heard it who's struggling with similar issues!

Okay um yeah anyway, sorry! I hope you have a fantastic day/night that is as free of religious trauma as possible! 💙

Hey, here on spicedchaiandromeda welcome rambling with open arms because ya girl is a massive rambler herself, so don’t you worry!! And don't apologize for the "negative" subject matter because I really value these conversations as well!! Putting a read more tab under this so I don't clog up my mutuals dashboards lmao <3

That being said, it truly is kind of horrifying the amount of times I've heard afab friends of mine recount these kinds of experiences? I've seen these kinds of ideas come from Mormons, Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc. I just tend to say "Christians" and "Christianity" because that's what I and nearly everyone around me was raised with. These ideas aren't just confined to the teachings of different religions, but I will say that the echo chambers that many religious groups put themselves in allow these ideas to thrive.

Thank you so much for the music recommendation! I absolutely love the song and I feel like I'd love to listen to more by her!! On the note of music, I'd also love to recommend the EP Preacher's Kid by Semler. They're a queer Christian artist and they're everything that I ever wanted from a Christian artist when I was a little queer teenagers.

While I myself am kind of loose on what I believe, I'd like to think that there's a higher power out there that doesn't stand for this level of shame and guilt that organized religions can oftentimes breed. And I want anyone who reads this to know that if you have religious trauma, this will always be a safe place to express your feelings and frustrations. Those safe and warm communities that religious groups love to preach about can also exist for us. No matter where you are on your religious/spiritual journey, please know that you are loved and valid and I send you all of the well wishes and support that I possibly can. Take care of yourselves, friends. 💞✨

[inkofamethyst]

January 24, 2023

Got my itinerary for my first interview event.  A few things to note.  

I will be interviewing with faculty for four hours straight.  Like, talking with individual professors in half-hour stints for an entire afternoon.  I mean I’m sure most of the conversations will be very similar to one another and are really meant to assess fit overall, but that is a lot.  

I believe I am being recruited by the prof dude I really didn’t want (because other women have had negative experiences).  Now, this is interesting because I barely mentioned him in my app except where I was required to list more than one potential advisor while I spent an entire paragraph discussing why I’d want to work under a different lady.  Like... it’s not terribly uncommon to switch advisors during a phd program, but I would have to give a reason beyond “I heard a rumor...” you know?  And even then, I think I might prefer going to a substantially lower-ranked school but feeling comfortable with my advisor.  Even knowing that doing so will ultimately make it more difficult to obtain an academic position because an easily-recognizable name brand uni draws people’s attentions.  Every uni wants to be able to say “oh look at all our faculty from Yale, from Stanford, from MIT” because those names carry cultural weight.

And maybe, just maybe, I’m looking way too deep into it all.

I’m going to do the interviews.  It might be a grueling marathon, or it might feel like speed-friending.  Who knows.  I hope the other shortlisted applicants are nice.  I hope I learn a lot.  About the program, about how to handle events like these, and maybe even about myself.

Anyway because I’ve gotten an informal offer, I’ve kind of been going buckwild in these forums (I need to stop myself) and have learned about the past application timeline for my “top” (read: “most prestigious”) choice (I keep going back and forth between that one and the other one I haven’t yet heard from bc they both seem like fantastic programs ahhh).  If I don’t hear back this week or next week to set up an interview, then chances are I will be rejected.  Which would be fine, I guess.  I’m not really expecting to get in because I don’t feel like I’m able to think as profoundly as they’re looking for in their top applicants (asking good questions is a skill (unless this is imposter syndrome adjacent and my level of questioning is actually perfectly acceptable for where I’m at in my career)), but I do think I have a fighting chance based on some of my letters of recommendation (and maybe that’s selling myself too short, but the people who are applying to a program like this are self-selected highest-tier students with publications and years of relevant research experience... TAing and good grades and a couple posters feels like the barest of minimums).  Alright, I’ll admit it.  I’m hopeful.  Maybe deliriously so.  Hopeful but also dreadfully realistic.  Or perhaps the word is pessimistic.  You know, to save myself from the crushing feeling of disappointment.

Today I just want to step back and be thankful for all of the grad school communications I’ve received to this point.  The.. validation that these interview offers have brought is a little intoxicating, I won’t lie.  And that’s why I seem to be clamoring for more of them.  It’s why I don’t seem satisfied with what I’ve already achieved.  And yeah, maybe I’m not quite satisfied just yet.  Maybe I do want more.  But I am immensely thankful.  I am, truly.  Partly because of straight-up validation but more deeply because of the assurance that I’m doin alright.  It’s given me peace.  Not fully, but I feel a little bit more relaxed with each one.

First time I’m going to be missing the first day of school... lil wild.

[gayspock]

and likeeee -_-

sorry this is just my in general fucking rant. is anyone sick ever of just being branded a fucking edgelord and called stupid and being encouraged to dispel all shitty thoughts ever. is anyone. i dont know. sorry this was about media but my sour fucking mood as of late. whatever. i think its always one of those things where its like one of the many hot air bullshit sayings is like. be yourself! :) TELL everyone how you feel! but Yourself and how you express and say things is ironically never right or correct so now you feel fucking rotted tenfold. i mean that. on like a genuine level.

cuz idk on a genuine fucking level every time ive ever tried to talk to someone about any of this ive just felt incredibly fucking patronised and unheard and unlistened to . and it makes me want to rip somkeones throat out. and on a serious level, i would be fine to engage in an actual conversation or listen to someone talk it through in a genuine fucking way. but like look i know i cant actually ask that to happen. its not fucking fair to anyone either . but also the Not asking that always just feels so much more fucking upsetting and fucking frustrating and in the end it never feels like anything other than an exercise in trying to just get away cuz it helps no one and nothing. ironically one of the things about it all. nothing helps nothing gets you forward but in sayinjg that i know people will never think of me as anyhting other than a fucking shit idiot fucking loser who gives up and doesnt care and doesnt listen when so so fucking ironically thats the exact disrespect and lack of fucking care that im talking about . and its ironic further cuz they'll insist they gaf. like do you. i feel like people only give a fuck if youre a version of a person that they can help and like and i dont think im ever going to be that for fucking anyone . i can try to pretend i am but it just makes me feel like dogshit and feel so fucking alone because thats not real at all no ones ever going to fucking like You as a person. or even more or whatever.

like how do i fucking say this. you bring this onyourself. youre negative. so like sorry but what if right. like what if im fucking right and im not a fucking idiot just this once and everything has genuinely fucking sucked and ive not got anything to fucking live for. and i am alone. etc. etc. like be serious. walk with me. so now how do you fucking think it feels to be called a fucking idiot for being consistently called some fucking idiot drama queen for it constantly. sorry. im trying not to be a self pitying fucker all the time but its like when i say i genuinelyfucking havent found anything to have gone fucking right i mean it . when i say i cant take it i fucking mean it. when i say im stupid and im unhappy and im alone if ucking mean it and trying to lie about it does not make it fucking okay it just makes me so so fucking much more upset. why do i have to fucking try and fake some fucking bright side to any of it when it doesnt fucking exist . to make YOU feel better about it. fucking fantastic. excellent . i fucking hate everything bro i wish it fucking mattered i wish it fucking mattered goddddd i wish there was a way out i fucking christtttttttttttt but people dont want to even look at you i think thats the thing like its like i think its because they know deep fucking down there is not an actual fucking thing they can say to me. because i am right this once maybe this fucking once but they cant agree and tell me to kill myself. which is fucking fine just dont fucking pretend like theres anything anyone can do to help like im a damn lost cause god bless s

something something does anyone feel like theyre in a car on the edge of the fucking cliff and you cant back it up and every time you fucking do its just teetering you closer to fucking killing yourself . is that the best way to describe it. theres no way out of it or whatever. i think i need to end something or someone . lalalala. i dont mean that. who said that

[lexclarkeproject2]

Section 3: "it's bloody fantastic"

This section is all about period positive attitudes. Specifically regarding sex, there are different levels of period enthusiasts ranging from “team bloody awesome” to “team bloody faint” this piece talks about how stigmatized period blood is. How patriarchal society has labeled the monthly bleed as dirty and unhygienic. When in reality periods are one of the most natural experiences women and people with uteruses go through. adrienne wants to make it clear to the reader that it is okay if you want to have sex on your period and a partner that is ready to talk about what they would look like for you is a green flag. And I completely agree, if your partner does not want to touch you on your period or gets uncomfortable even just around the subject then I think it would be best to reassess if that partnership is right for you. There is some leeway with this though, some people have a phobia of blood or have past trauma that informs the way they think about period blood and that is totally okay. At that point you could have a conversation about it and discuss a game plan. This section also emphasizes how natural it is to have a cycle and there should not be stigma around it or the products needed to get through the week.

I have found this graphic that I think embodies how powerful periods are and how powerful the people that get them are. This image is also something I value, when I am on my period I get this overwhelming sense of power especially if I am in a room full of men, I just think to myself “No one knows i'm bleeding and having cramps, if they felt what I do right now, they would call out sick” There is something so empowering about having a cycle and being able to live in this patriarchy that lives to keep us down.