#so i need a wfh gig but that shit is so hard to get

[fantastic-artemis]

Ok so I didn't get that job and I'd already made peace with it but holy hell do I need to be working more than 20 hours a week I need a side gig or something

[theunemployedrogue]

idk just feeling kinda sad and lonely... pretty long rambling personal post beneath the read more...

It's a combination of things getting to me... firstly, there's the fact I feel like this site is finally starting to *really* die. I've noticed a drastic drop in activity on my dash in the past month or so to the point it feels like there's never more than 50 or so new posts at a time, & there's hardly any new notes on the activity page at a given time either.

Tumblr may be a hellsite but it's literally my only "social media" (aside from like....LinkedIn) at the moment. There's a handful of folks on here I really enjoy interacting with, even if it's just the occasional message or comment. I feel like I'm about to lose some of my only ties to the world outside my immediate circle if people jump ship completely :/

idk where people are even migrating to. Twitter? Insta? Tiktok? None of those sites really appeal to me at all... Part of me wonders if people (especially ppl my age) are kinda just disconnecting from internet fandom communities altogether and focusing more on IRL stuff. Honestly I'd probably benefit from logging tf off myself lol...

But 'just logging off and getting a damn life' is an especially daunting prospect right now bc my IRL situation isn't exactly ideal at the moment. For one thing, we're still in the middle of a pandemic. Secondly, I've been unemployed for about 3 months now. That has it's obvious downsides, although I will say it's not all bad. I had enough savings set aside that I decided to take a breather instead of immediately looking for another job, & my roommate and grandma have been very supportive of me and helped with some of my expenses during this time.

So like, I don't regret my decision to take time off. I mean yeah I'm a little anxious, and I know most of my family thinks I'm a lazy piece of shit, but overall the downtime has been a positive thing. I've finally been able to quit drinking and improve my eating habits, which has allowed me to better manage some of my chronic health concerns. I've also started picking up some online gigs so I don't totally deplete my savings, & to help me get back in the groove of working.

Unemployment is isolating af tho. I was already incredibly isolated when I was WFH at my last company, but losing that job meant I also lost a decent chunk of contacts (even if they were just work acquaintances). I'm lucky I have a roommate and that my grandma lives nearby, otherwise I'd have no access to IRL human interaction on a regular basis.

But I still feel lowkey devastated that I've fallen out of touch with the few other friends I have. I know they're busy with work and their own lives, and until recently I was too overwhelmed with depression to really engage anyone, but now that I'm starting to feel better it's hit me just how much I miss them.

Unfortunately it just feels harder than ever to reach out and connect with anybody nowadays, even those I consider close. It's so easy to lose track of the days slipping by and accidently wind up neglecting people. Whenever I do reach out I never have much to say, so I end up feeling like I'm just wasting people's time :(

Idk what to do to make things better. Part of me feels like I've let some relationships (mainly with my family) get damaged beyond repair at this point. It seems selfish and pointless to try and mend things with certain people whom I've likely offended or hurt by withdrawing from them for so long. Then I feel like there are other folks who have simply outgrown me, and the best thing I could do for them is to quietly step aside and let them move on.

It's just always been so hard for me to make and keep friends. I know it's pretty much entirely my own fault, but it still hurts having to reap what I sowed. I suppose it'd be nice to try and meet some new folks who share my current interests, but I'm always too scared and awkward to put myself out there like I should. I honestly don't know how much I can change about myself at this point in my life, or if I'll ever be able to conquer my shyness.

I feel immature and whiny even making this post, but I just needed to get this stuff off my chest. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this far. Take care.

[emisonme]

Theory time.........

There was something about this whole narrative, that wasn’t adding up for me. I was having a hard time putting my finger on it, then Camila released that description about her album, and it started making more sense.

They want us to believe, this whole narrative took place in 2016, but when you remember back and realize, the 2016 narrative was just a revamped version of the 2015 narrative, it all begins to fall into place.

Everyone latched on to that July 4 2016 Brazil snap, of her alone, writing in a hotel bathroom, while the girls were out celebrating together, as the time she began writing “I have questions”. That’s exactly what Management hoped you’d do. If one paid attention though, you would see that the more important snap happened back in October 2016. She snapped a photo of her writing in a bathroom, with the caption ”destroyed”. First, July - October does not equal 6 months, no matter how crappy your math is. Second, the 7/27 tour was coming to an end, and with that caption, I actually think, that is when she finished writing “I have questions”.

The only tour date they had in early 2016, was Dubai. So, unless she started writing it in a Dubai potty, the rest of early 2016 was spent promoting WFH. She stated she started writing that song, “a little over a year ago” while on tour. I think her “a little over a year ago” means the last few months of 2015, September-November. That she eventually had to face her problems, and she finally went back to the lyrics she started from the year before, and finished the song, then wrote a sad song every day until she got sick of writing sad shit. That song seems to be a catalyst for her, and I’m thinking it probably  “destroyed” her to finally finish it.

Camila was asked recently, in an interview, when her anxiety showed itself and started becoming a real problem for her. Her answer was, 2015. Everything started in 2015. Her anxiety, the fucking narrative, the division, EVERYTHING!!

I read somewhere, in one of those bullshit, unnamed source, music industry articles, that Camila had a one year contract that expired the night of December 18, 2016. OK! How the hell did she get a one year contract, that encompassed the 7/27 era? (I’ll answer that later in the post.)

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, I don’t think the Labels intended for Camila to be a part of the 7/27 era, at all. I think they planned on taking her solo at the end of 2015, and releasing her debut solo album sometime in 2016, but something happened. I think anxiety, depression, Sinu, Roger, and the girls happened.

We now know, Camila stated her anxiety became a problem in 2015. She tweeted on August 28, 2015, that the summer Reflection Tour was an emotional time for her, and that she hugged the fan a little longer and a little tighter. We also know, the 2016 narrative was a revamped version of the 2015 narrative, on steroids. So, we need to go back to 2015 to find the answers.

One of the Music Industries favorite tried and true methods for success, is the “divide and concur” method. The first thing Management had to do, was separate Camila from the girls, then start dividing the fandom.

Phase one of “take Camila solo” was to make connection to the “right” people. One of those people was, Charlie Walk. (Disclaimer: I said before, I got some things wrong in another theory, mostly about Charlie walk, I’m going to correct them here.)

It fell upon the one and only Candece Campbell, to introduce Charlie into the girls’ lives. She took the girls to a Republic Records after party, and introduced them to him, in February of 2015. Then in Late march of 2015, she took only Camila to meet up with him and have dinner.

Why Charlie Walk? He appears to be a master guru at breaking young artists, especially young Pop artists, into the mainstream. He was also one of the people who oversaw Destiny’s Child and Beyonce’s rise, hiatus and Bey’s first solo album, during his tenure at Columbia Records. Who better to talk to, and convince Camila, she has what it takes to be a successful solo artist, and being a member of a successful Girl Group, only helped her chances. Oh, and let’s not forget his connection to Taylor Swift.

Speaking of Taylor Swift, she was second on that list of connections they needed to make for Camila. She first met TS at an award show in November of 2014. They took a Selfie to commemorate the moment.

It must have been very memorable, because next thing we know, Camila is just chillin at home not doing a damn thing for her birthday, until her phone begins to vibrate, and it is none other than TS wanting to know what Camila is doing. She says “nothin”. She’s just craving some kind of food, that TS suddenly has a house full of, and invites Camila over for an impromptu B-day party with “the squad”.

Why don’t you blow some more smoke up my ass. Whatever! The truth and the Music Industry don’t get along. But, you can start to see the truth through the fog, when you realize, just a few short weeks prior, Camila was being introduced to Charlie Walk. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Anyway, with that B-day party, came instant popularity and instant division. A whole shit load of 5H fans, can’t stand TS. They think she is nothing more than a racist self absorbed BITCH! On the other hand, if one becomes “friends” with her and make it to “squad” status, they become the beneficiary of a very large and dedicated fan base. So, that was a success. Camila got some fans and recognition outside of 5H, and the 5H fandom got some division.

The TS “friendship” also came with a lot of “rumors”. The most important one being, TS was trying to convince Camila that she’d be better off without the girls. It was the perfect one-two punch, if you will. She had Charlie in one ear telling her, she has what it takes to be a successful solo artist, and TS in the other ear, telling her she’d be more successful without the girls. Let the pressure fueled anxiety begin.

Some call it a coincidence, I call it planned, since the timing could not have been better, for Camila to be hanging out with the person, most of the 5H fandom thinks is a racist. Not long after that birthday party, a shit storm started brewing between Camila and Normani’s individual stans.

Sometime toward the end of March, Normani took a selfie with none other than Becky G. Some “fans” seen it, and started that bullshit story line that Normani was stabbing Camila in the back for being friends with the girl that  “supposedly” came between Camila and Austin.

Let the racist shit slinging begin. Apparently, since Camila used the “N” word in the past, is hanging out with Taylor Swift, that makes her a fucking racist. Therefore, since she’s a “racist”, her fans are racist and that’s why they were cyber-bullying Normani with racist shit, because she took a fucking picture with a girl. The logic of this fandom, is asinine.

When you know who actually started all this racist shit and why, you really get a good look at the dark side of the Music Industry, that some refuse to believe exists.

If you took the time to read, @decoding1432 posts about astroturfing, you will understand how all of that shit came about. If you haven’t read her blog, you should. You can go back and trace damn near all of the drama created on social media, to a handful of accounts. There’s a reason for that.

There are “super fan” or “bot” accounts, and there are “fake fan” accounts, that are Insiders pretending to be fans, so they can steer the narrative on social media. The ‘bot” accounts are basically “super fans” that are bought and paid for, through special privileges, that help spread the narrative.

The whole racism and cyber-bullying narrative, was created and planned by Management, spread by the fans, and that narrative began, in 2015.

There was no time for a break. THEY were in a hurry to divide, divide, divide. The next thing they had to do, was divide the Camren shippers, and get them to choose sides. If I’m remembering correctly, in April of 2015, it was “hello Michael”.

Michael actually served two purposes. 1) to start the “rumors” within the Camren fandom, that Camila was cheating on Lauren, with him. 2) They didn’t want the general public to think Camren was an actual thing, so they needed a “boy” to fit the narrative for an upcoming duet, no one was supposed to know about.

Camichael was short lived, because it wasn’t really a thing. It was PR to fit a narrative. It served it’s purpose, and worked in both aspects. Oh, and Lauren was soon to be off “trippin” with Lucy, to help with it all, too.

Then it was time to start the PR for the duet, no one was supposed to know about. That began sometime in June, when Camila and Shawn Mendes went to the Hershey Festival. It was also around that time, Roger entered the picture.

Roger had tweeted/re-tweeted all of the girls earlier in the year, but around June, he started singling Camila out. I used to think Charlie got Roger the gig, of being Camila’s solo manager, but now, I think it was Andrew Gertler, Shawn’s manager. Roger and Andrew worked together over at Warner, and have been friends for a while.

Anyway, June got the Shawmila rumors flying, and everything was set up, for the “meet-up” at a Taylor Swift concert. What most people haven’t even considered, but I think is the truth, is the duet between Shawn and Camila, was actually negotiated and set up by L.A. and Charlie back in Feb/March of 2015. Then it was up to Charlie, Taylor. Shawn, and Roger to convince her it was a good idea for her and even 5h’s career. That it would help broaden Fifth Harmony’s fan base.

So, Camila meets up with Shawn, backstage  for a “jam session”. Shawn already had the song in mind, he just needed “help” writing it. That was in early July.

Now, it’s time for the Summer Reflection Tour. It’s time to let the “bot” and insider accounts do their thing on social media. The “rumors” started flying, during the tour, that Camila was doing a duet with Shawn, behind the girls’ back.

What most didn’t know, at the time, was part of the deal struck with Charlie, was that Lauren would also be part of the package. She was chosen to do a song with Marian Hill, a RR artist. I believe that song was written, and maybe even recorded, back in October 2015. Part of the deal, was that the song would be held onto, to be released at a date that was most advantageous for Lauren’s career. That’s why RR didn’t even really promote the song.

The hate and vitriol Camila received, while on tour, when fans started hearing about the duet she was doing “behind the girls’ back” was ridiculous. What’s just as ridiculous, was the girls were made to stay publicly mute about it. They were not allowed to “defend” Camila, because they weren’t supposed to know anything about it.

I believe it was the hate fueled comments between the now divided fandom, that caused most of the tension between Camila and Normani. The Normani, and OT4 stans were going off on Camila for being a “backstabbing racist bitch”, and the Camilizers were going off on Normani, for being “a backstabbing bitch” for taking a fucking picture with Becky G. It was a cluster fuck of emotions, and every bit of it was created by Management.

By the time that damn duet came out, Camila was already thought of, by the growing number of OT4 stans, as a racist, cheating, lying, backstabbing bitch, that Lauren, Normani, Dinah, and Ally would be better off without.

The Labels and Management were popping champagne corks and dancing in the streets, because they had officially achieved their goal. At that point, the fans were actually demanding Camila’s departure from Fifth Harmony. That could definitely be arranged.

There is a reason they rushed everything in 2015, and it wasn’t to keep Camila in the group for another year, it was to get her out of it. So, how did Camila end up being in 5H through 2016 and the 7/27 era? There are literally only a few things that could have happened.

Camila could not just say, “I’m out. See ya.” As I explained before, they all signed individual contracts to become members of Fifth Harmony. They are all still working under those same contracts. She couldn’t just up and leave the group, unless the Labels, who hold the contracts, wanted her to leave. If she had left, without Labels consent, she would have breached her contract.

On the other hand, the Label owns the right, through the contracts, to take a member solo, or expel them from the group, whenever they want. The Labels dictated the conditions of the contracts. 

We know Camila is still under her original contract, because she is still with Epic/Syco. Therefore, she did not breach her contract. The only two possibilities for her departure in 2015, or 2016 for that matter, was if the Labels wanted her out, or if Roger negotiated her way out. The only possible way for her to stay, if the Label wanted to take her out, was to negotiate her way back in.

That description she released from her album, put everything in better perspective for me. It put December of 2015 in better perspective, as well as the statements released by Management, after Camila’s departure.

I am really thinking, those statements were in reference to everything that happened in 2015. They were simply held for a year. That also explains the one year contract. Camila either gave the girls the one year they were asking for, or the Label allowed her one more year, with the girls, to better prepare herself emotionally and mentally for her solo career.

Dina LaPolt was brought on board in December, if not earlier, to negotiate Camila’s stay with 5H, either way. Maverick was brought on board at the end of 2015, to perfect the 2015 narrative.

I think Sinu, the girls, and even Roger, realized the state of mind Camila was in, and took a moment to ask her what she wanted. That was the talks they had on tour, but I think Camila felt torn, to do the right thing for everyone involved.

Camila is a people pleaser. She can’t stand the thought of disappointment. She doesn’t want to let anyone down. She knew the Label wanted to take her solo. It was becoming more and more evident, through social media, the majority of the fans wanted her out, which is just sad. The question is, did the girls want her out, and was she ready to give up her life with the girls. I would say, neither of them was ready to give up the other, because she was there for one more year.

Sinu, the girls, and Roger helped her to come to terms, that in life, and especially this fucking industry, you can’t please everyone. They helped her work on her anxiety, and yes, Ashlee helped with that as well. Of course, we didn’t get to witness any of it, because they had to follow the narrative.

That also means, Normani was willing to go through another year of cyber hell, to keep Camila with them for another year. It means Camila was willing to go through another year of cyber hell to stay with the girls.

We also have to keep in mind, as Camila does press for her album, that she has to stick to the narrative. She isn’t being very specific for a reason. We have to remember everything we have learned, and apply it. That being said, I think Camila was pulling double duty through the end of 2015 and 2016. She was recording with the girls, touring with them, and working on her debut album at the same time. No wonder she always looked tired.

To those of you who participated in the hate and the division of the fandom, you are despicable human beings, who don’t have a compassionate bone in your bodies. You idiots used a picture, a word, a birthday party, and a song, to justify your abhorrent behavior.

You ignorant asses was ready to crack the whip, and hang effigies of Normani from a fucking tree. You were wishing death, rape, and deportation on Camila. You were proud to produce that much hate filled rage, over a fucking selfie, a word, a party, and a fucking song. That’s all it took. The majority of this fandom disgusts me to no end.

You want the truth, I’ll give it to you. You dumb fucks got played. It may have been Managements narrative, but you were the willing participants that helped push it. It may have been Managements plan, but you are the ones who made it a success.

Do you want to know who hurt Camila so bad? We know L.A. Reid, and Simon Cowell’s part in it, but they weren’t the only ones. The majority of this fandom need look no further than the mirror. She felt lonely, in a sea of thousands of fans, because of the dark filled hate you rained upon her. Everyone of you should be ashamed of yourselves. You became the very people Management needed you to be.

I, for one, plan on supporting all of the girls, now and in the future. I fell in love with a 5 member girl group, but I also fell in love with them individually. I look forward to all of their new music, and I am going to do my part in making sure Camila, Normani, Lauren, Dinah, and Ally’s dreams come true.