#so i was gone for like a week with my pto

[kuroosdarling]

my job rn is playing games with me and my coworkers are ready to walk out !! incoming rant …

[voulezloux]

i’m tired of having to explain to my friends why i had to make a post basically begging for support while im unable to work because it only makes me more angry every time i do so. like i can’t get short term disability because that’s not a benefit that they offer and even if they did, i would have to pay for that myself in order to get it. i could’ve rolled over my old plan from the previous owner to the new owner and pay for it separately. but the one time i had used it, they put me under illness and not injury (which is what it was. because i injured my foot and couldn’t stand to do my job. i even put it as an injury and they said i lied and changed it) and the payout i got barely covered my bills. i didn’t see a point in continuing to pay for a service that would do that plus it took a full month after i went back to work to even get the payout. the only benefits they offer at 401(k) with them matching, PTO, and health insurance. that’s it. i’m using what’s left of my PTO this week to bulk up my paycheck so i can actually get some kind of money but after that i don’t know when i’ll have a paycheck next. i’m looking for work because i can’t afford not to work. there’s nothing in place to protect the worker at my job in the event of this happening. the only reason im not completely losing my mind is because im still able to get health insurance while im unable to work but that’s not because of them. that’s because of FMLA. if that wasn’t in place, who the fuck knows man

[cubot]

Just noticed that I have a small purple perfect circle bruise on one of my toes. I did not hurt my feet recently. And last week I had a bruise just like it (slightly bigger) on the back of my arm. Blood, are you doing weird things inside me?

[local-magpie]

i was absolutely not built to solicit strangers for financial assistance. i was built for be helpful, go home, get headpats, be told im a good boy and very pretty and clever

[meow-xine]

Ohhh I am so obsessed with him 😫

Shota Aizawa x Fem reader

Cw: smut, some plot… oral (F! receiving)

Background: Aizawa is your husband but you haven’t seen him in WEEKS due to him being caught up in work.

Shota has just been so busy as of late. Truth be told, with the two of you sharing so many aspectual responsibilities – many stemming from Shota’s job, you had felt a strain on your relationship. Shota rarely had time for you anymore, him spending more time now than ever at work, trying to make sense of villain attacks and dorms. Sometimes he would be gone for weeks, the only interaction being a text or a late night call. Of course you kept yourself busy, going to work during the day then occupying yourself with small things around the house; cleaning, crafts. No matter how much you distracted yourself though, there was no way to stop the yearning for your husband. You knew it was necessary, and you would in no way ever try to stop him from doing what he needed to, but you just wish he could take one day off. Life just hadn’t been the same.

“I just miss you so much.” you sobbed into the phone resting next to you, laying down curled over a pillow. This had become a sort of routine, Shota calling you up later than he should, knowing that you would be awake and expecting to hear from him. “I know, I miss you too. It’s.. it’s just been so complicated trying to balance everything. Know that if I could come home to you I would.” He sighed. It wasn’t much easier on him, and you knew that. You often found yourself getting off the phone feeling more guilty than anything. He had a lot on his plate, and you were sure your complaining wasn’t of much help. There was just something about the late night that seeped into your words, taking control and slurring your speech. You weren’t used to staying up so late.

“I’m sorry baby.. I just don’t feel good without you here. It’s too quiet and dull.” you continued your earlier recurring thought. Silence interrupted by your small hiccups filled the air. It was stagnant and dense, but not uncomfortable. “You know it breaks my heart to hear you like that honey.” He interrupted the silence, followed by a sigh. “I’ll do what I can to see you as soon as possible.” he continued. “You promise?” “I promise. Now get some sleep love, it’s late.” And with that you hung up and fell asleep, remaining in the same curled position. 

That was two weeks ago, and since then you had been carefully watching the news reports and attacks against both Shota and his students. It was scary stuff and you constantly had to remind yourself that he would be okay– that they would all be okay. Even with reminders though, you couldn’t help but feel anxious and out of control, sometimes forgetting to breathe until Shota got a break on TV. You followed up with texts and phone calls afterwards too, needing more than just a digital image showing he was safe. 

Finally, amongst the sea of phone calls you had gotten, it was your husband.

“[Name]? Baby?” it was Shota, he sounded happier than he had in a while and you swore you could feel his smile through the phone. “Hi Sho, I’m here. How are things going?” you smiled too, not being able to contain yourself after hearing him. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Things are going good, especially today. I rarely ever take time off work so it was pointed out that I am long overdue for some PTO.” “Oh yay! Do you know when exactly you might be getting some days?” You stood up from the couch you were sitting on in your shared home. “Well…” He started, but before he could finish his sentence the doorbell rang. “Oh, I’m sorry, give me one moment, someone’s at the door..” He chuckled, “Sure.”

You made your way to the door making sure to hold your phone to your chest before answering. Upon opening the door, the phone in your hand was long forgotten, falling to the floor. It was Shota on the other side, lazily holding his phone to his ear. He hung up and opened his arms, allowing you to run into them.

“You’re here! Oh I’ve missed you so much.. I wish you would have told me you were coming ,I would have worn something nicer.” You rambled feeling embarrassed for just wearing one of his shirts and PJ shorts. Not leaving enough time for you to finish a thought, Shota wrapped his arms around you, one snaking around your waist and the other rubbing your back. “Hi baby..” 

You released yourself from his embrace, taking a moment to look at his face and notice the small differences. He looked tired and weary, no thanks to the battles he had endured. Despite everything, it was still your Shota standing in front of you. Your eyes moved down to his lips and before you could think you were all over them. You pulled back, apologizing, “Oh! Sorry,” you knelt down to pick up some of his bags, “let’s let you get settled in first.” 

The two of you carried his bags to your bedroom, placing them on the floor. Before Shota made an effort to unpack, he walked over to you and brought you in for another hug, this one tighter than the last. One of his hands was wrapped warmly against your head, bringing you closer to his chest. You inhaled, making a mental note to lock his sweet musk scent away for when he inevitably had to leave again. “I missed you so much baby, you have no idea.” he spoke, his voice soft and gravelly. 

You loosely pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, one of your hands holding his cheek and his hands still lingering low around your waist. “I missed you too Sho. It felt impossible without you here. I’m just so happy you’re okay.” He smiled down at you and planted a small kiss on your lips. He deepened the kiss, disentangling your entire being yet somehow making you feel more full than you ever had all at once. His hand was now placed against the nape of your neck, all the while slowly backing you up into the nearest wall. 

Once you felt your back touch the wall you couldn’t help but break free of the kiss and gasp, being too entranced to notice the position you were in until now. Shota wasted no time in returning to the kiss, using the hand on your neck to bring you closer to him. The two of you melted into the kiss, a mix of small groans and whines left Shota’s mouth as he lost himself in you. He broke away from the kiss, taking a moment to look at you beneath his frame before speaking, “Baby I need you right now..” he groaned, searching for approval in your eyes. You displayed agreement through a nod and took a step forward. Shota, before beginning to take off your clothes, gently let his hands run across your body longer than he needed to. It had been so long since he had been able to feel your skin underneath him, he wanted to savor it. 

He took off your shirt, admiring what was underneath as he lifted it above your head. Once he discarded it to the side, he worked on removing your bra. You were now completely bare from the waist up and your dark haired husband couldn’t help but stare. “Oh I’ve missed you so much.” He lowered his earlier kisses down to the side of your neck, bending his knees as he moved down to kiss your exposed breasts, one hand massaging the other as he worked. You let out soft moans, the pleasure slowly surging through you. It was more intense than usual, it had felt like eons since you had been touched by him, yet it seemed he still knew exactly how to please you. 

‘C’mere baby,” he led you to your shared bed, sitting you on the edge. You were almost laying down, your elbows propped up stopping you from doing so. Shota got down to his knees in front of you, sliding his hands on either side of your thighs and he slid your shorts off, your panties being the only remaining article. Upon seeing your wetness seeping through the cloth, Shota chuckled  “Awh baby, you’re soaked.” He looked up at you with lust clouded eyes. “Let me touch you, please love.” It took you a moment to fully process and respond to him, you were far too distracted by the sight of your usually dominant husband kneeling before you, so undone. “Yes-yeah, of course you can.” you responded after far too long of a pause. 

He returned one of his hands to its earlier position, slid against your thigh only now massaging you slowly. His other hand moved up slowly to your clothed pussy and you gasped when you felt him touch you. He used his hands to spread your legs open and teased small traces along your inner thighs, moving his face closer. You shivered as you felt the warmth of his breath close in. He planted a trail of the most gentle kisses up your thighs, pausing once he got just close enough to make you antsy. You whimpered, “please Sho..need you..”

“You know I can’t say no when you ask like that.” he smirked, then slid your panties off, gliding a finger down your slit. He inched his face closer, attaching his mouth to your clit after a few small licks. The wave of pleasure crashed down on you all at once, “Oh Sho…” you moved your hands to grab his head, tangling your fingers in his hair. Once his gentle demeanor faded, he was devouring you like a madman, groaning and mumbling into your arousal. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed this..” he lazily groused, slipping two fingers into you. He curled them up into you, the sheer amount of unfamiliar pleasure was almost overstimulating.

Your grip on his hair tightened, indicating he must have been doing something right. He paused to look up at you, “Yeah? You like that? ‘Course you do..” he trailed off, his mouth finding you again. Your nerves heated your entire body, that combined with the growing knot in your belly was enough to push you over the edge. You bucked your hips, now riding his fingers more than anything. He pulled his face up to look at you again. “Oh baby you look so pretty coming undone f’me right now.” his fingers sped up reaching places you didn’t know could be reached. “So pretty.”

“I’m- fuck.. M’ so close Sho..” you couldn’t control yourself anymore. Rolling your hips at the same speed his fingers were fucking you, you couldn’t help but toss your head back in satisfaction, your release smashing against you. “That’s it baby.. good girl..” Shota spoke, his fingers never once slowing until you were worn out. You whined due to the absence that filled you as he removed his digits. 

He stood up, looming over your relaxed frame. He knelt down to kiss your forehead, grabbing one of your hands to help you sit upright. “You did so good baby.. So good.” He sat next to you, stroking your hair. “Oh I love you Shota, so much.” you whined into him. ”I love you too [Name].” He smiled, honestly not wanting to get up. “Now let's get you cleaned up, it’s late.”

“What about you though? I feel bad not returning anything..” You said, feeling a mix of pleasure and guilt all in one go. “Don’t worry about me, we have plenty of time.” Shota responded. He walked to the bathroom, starting a hot bath with a mix of calming oils; then returned to you and brought you to the tub.

The two of you were slipped in you got comfortable in the middle of his legs, your back resting against his chest. “I love you Shota.” you closed your eyes, feeling relaxed enough to go to sleep right in the tub.

He wrapped his arms around your torso. “I love you too, [Name].”

[himexyandere]

Yandere Headcanons Pt. 2

Content Warning(s): Obsessive behavior, malpractice, gaslighting, manipulation, drugging

A/N: These are just more yandere HC's that I thought of and wanted to post ^^ I haven't written anything here for a while, so I figured I'd post something! Not sure what my next post will be, honestly, I'll probably do a poll and ask what you guys would like to see. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! <3

Yandere!Doctor who keeps you in his hospital by occasionally slipping different harmless drugs into your meals that makes you a little lightheaded and exhibit signs of being feverish, thus extending your visit.

Had someone told you that you would be staying for a bit at a hospital with your favorite doctor, you probably would’ve been elated to hear such a thing!

That wasn’t necessarily the case, however — yes, he was your favorite doctor and he’d always called you his “star patient” when the two of you were alone, but you weren’t exactly a huge fan of hospitals 

Staying for more than a week was already too much for you, yet he still wouldn’t let you leave 

“My dear, you may not think your symptoms are worrying, but they certainly are. A fever that comes and goes at random is nothing to treat lightly. I will be extending your stay until you feel better.” 

During your first week, a male nurse was the one who came to bring you your food and medicine, occasionally striking up casual conversations with you to help you feel more comfortable in such a quiet, sterile place 

After another week or so, you hadn’t seen him again. Confused, you asked your doctor where the nurse went and he gave you a seemingly perturbed frown 

“I’m sorry, dear, but we had to let him go. One of the other nurses found him assaulting a comatose patient. Terrible, isn’t it? I’m just glad he’s gone now and is no longer a danger to anyone… Wouldn’t you agree?” 

Had a month gone by already? You honestly couldn’t tell anymore. Your doctor was the only one who visited your room, stating that visitation was on hold for a while due to some issue or another—

He’s the doctor so why would you question him? He only wants what’s best for his “star patient”, after all

You were originally in for a small health scare at work, but now…

Yandere!Househusband who clings to you, slightly causing a bit of concern amongst your friends and family, but you feel like his clinginess is normal... At first.

He acted like the two of you were still a newlywed couple or something 

He always, always, always craves your attention, wanting to be close to you whenever feasible

This meant that leaving home to go to your job every morning was a nearly impossible feat, considering he rarely ever let you escape his arms (at least not without some bribery first) 

“If you promise to spend the entire weekend with me here in our home, then I’ll let you leave for work. How’s that sound, darling?” 

This was a common occurrence, leading you to spend most, if not all, of your free time cuddling up with your husband at home, watching corny movies and eating snacks. 

Your friends and family started seeing less and less of you, prompting them to call and visit your home more often with questions about where you’ve been. You always tell them that you’re fine and you’ve just been spending some time relaxing with your hubby 

He was delighted by your replies and would later tell you after they left that he loves you so, so much 

He does get anxious at times, though, wondering constantly if you’re annoyed with him or if you secretly hate his clinginess and overwhelming adoration

After you told him that you would be going to hang out with your friends one evening, he nearly lost it in front of you. Fortunately, he managed to maintain a gentle smile as he encouraged you to go and have a good time 

When you got back later that night, your husband informed you that he’d scheduled a getaway for your upcoming anniversary! He’s already called your job and put in for PTO, so you don’t have to worry your little head—you’re going to have so much fun… Just the two of you.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Eddie was M.I.A. and Buck was too.

The video above includes the scenes from S6 where Buck and Eddie were either missing or weren't mentioned even though they should have been.

During Season 6, Eddie was M.I.A. (missing in action) from several scenes even though he should have been present and Buck was either not mentioned or he was missing too even though he should have been present.

While I was watching 6x4 when it originally aired, I noticed Buck wasn’t on a call while the rest of the team was at work and as 6A progressed, it became a pattern.  For the duration of 6A and well into 6B, Buck’s or Eddie’s absences became even more noticeable and they were so prevalent that they were JARRING AND GLARINGLY OBVIOUS.  By the end of 6A, viewers were wondering what happened.  The showrunner (KR) said in an interview that they were trying new pairings which was fine but hindsight is usually 20/20 and when I started analyzing the scenes that didn’t include one of them, it kind of seemed like she may have been telling a half truth.  I mentioned how storylines and pairings were affected in a post I did in November 2022 but now I believe their absences or the lack of mentioning the other one was INTENTIONAL.

Buck and/or Eddie not being present bothered me and I wanted to know why but I didn’t research it until recently because of the way season 6 ended.  With the way TM (the OG showrunner) has been releasing and rereleasing photos of Buddie and Bathena for the last few weeks, I believed their absences in season 6 became too glaring for me to continue ignoring them.  For Buck and Eddie to be drastically removed from each other’s lives had to be on purpose and IMO, it was done so the audience would realize how them not being with each other didn’t make sense.  Let’s be real, regardless as to whether a viewer ships Buck and Eddie as a romantic couple, their presence in each other’s lives and the Buckley-Diaz family’s dynamic has become a staple on the show and when they’re not included, people notice.  Everyone knows how close they are so for them to be separated and viewers along with journalists writing about it was perplexing to say the least.

Before I delve into this, please understand these are MY OBSERVATIONS AND INTERPRETATIONS of the things I noticed during season 6, therefore, it’s ok if someone doesn’t agree.  Everyone interprets media differently so it’s ok for two differences of an opinion to coexist without someone trying to force their thoughts onto the other person.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I believe it all started with the scene below when Eddie asked, “Buck!  Where the hell you going?” because their absences started right after it and they continued through the early part of 6B.

In 6x4, Buck was off work while Bobby, Chimney and Eddie were all at work but there was no explanation given as to why Buck was off.  Everyone knows Buck loves being at the firehouse especially since he filed a lawsuit to get back to the team after the ladder truck explosion (whether he was right or wrong in filing the lawsuit will not be discussed here.  It happened more than four years ago and I’ve moved on from it).  He wasn’t sick so it’s not like he used a sick day but maybe he used a personal day or he used some PTO time but either way, the audience wasn’t told why he wasn’t with the 118.

He went to Hen’s house to discuss Connor's request for him to be his sperm donor but since she was on leave, no explanation was needed for why she wasn’t at work.  Reminder, Buck wasn’t on leave so he could have gone to her house to talk to her after their shift ended but he didn’t.  His absence was noticeable especially since at the beginning of the episode, he was sitting at the other end of the table alone and away from the group while Eddie, Chimney and Hen talked about Eddie disciplining Chris for skipping his science club meetings.

In 6x5, Eddie took Hoover the dog to Buck’s loft but the audience didn't see it.  It was the only handoff that wasn't shown in CANON but the question is, why?  What was the issue with the audience seeing Eddie give Buck the dog ?  The only thing that makes narrative sense is they wanted viewers to not see it so they would notice.  Interesting!

In 6x7, Eddie didn't mention Buck at all when he told Felisa about Chris being lost in the Tsunami but once again the question is why?  Everyone who watched 3x1-3x3 knows Eddie took Chris to visit "His Buck" that day and Eddie showed Hen and Chimney a selfie of Buck and Chris while they were on a call. In the photo, Buck and Chris were at breakfast earlier eating pancakes.  Also, after the first wave hit, we know Buck saved Chris and they got separated so Eddie’s scene with Felisa was another glaringly obvious one where Buck wasn’t mentioned and it had to have been done for a reason.  Reminder, Eddie told Felisa “My wife died… and six months later my son was on the pier when the Tsunami hit.”  Well, Chris wasn’t there alone so 👀.

In 6x8, Buck was missing when Eddie and Chris were getting ready for Chris' first school dance. Carla was there but it was kind of off putting and it seemed like she shouldn’t have been the one Eddie was talking to the same way she shouldn’t have been talking to him in 5x10 when he was preparing to leave the 118.  If they didn’t want Buck there, then it could have easily been a father and son moment between Eddie and Chris especially since she didn't do anything but say she thought it was Chris' first crush after they went into the kitchen.  It was only one of the two episodes she was in for the entire season, so what gives?

Later in the episode, Eddie ended up telling Buck and the 118 about it anyway and based on Buck’s reaction, it's likely Chris had already told Buck about his crush (post linked here).

In 6x10, Eddie was present and at the firehouse while Buck and Chimney cleaned the fire engine and the ladder truck.  He was on the floor throwing a baseball with Hen.

But Eddie was missing from the call when a lightning strike hit the car and the woman gave birth but reminder, the scene happened after he was AT THE FIREHOUSE with everyone else.   It's possible he could have been man behind but the point is he was missing.  Also, why was he missing?  Buck helped Bobby with the baby and Bobby had to call Hen and Chimney over for assistance which means Eddie’s help as a medic was needed for all three victims but it was kind of like the show wanted him to be absent so the viewers would notice and we did.

In 6x11, Eddie was only in Buck’s coma dream at the beginning when Daniel told him the next time he goes up a ladder, he should have someone to have his back and Buck said he did.  Other than that initial interaction, Eddie WASN'T there and his absence was glaringly obvious.

In 6x13, Eddie was M.I.A. twice. The first time was after a call that he went to with Buck and Hen.  It was the one where the couple misplaced a "toy".

Chimney wasn't on the call with them but when they were leaving work and Buck was calling all the women he slept with to see if he satisfied them (which was 🙄 I don’t even have words), Eddie wasn't there but Chimney was.  But the question once again is why? Could it be the show was making a point since Buck had just had a conversation with a victim’s husband about an article he read that stated 80% of women aren’t satisfied by their partners (related post about Buck’s woodworking skills linked here)?

In 6x13, Eddie wasn’t at the loft while Buck and Chris were baking cookies and it appears to be a call back to 5x3 when AF was caring for Chris during the blackout (related post linked here).  Reminder, AF left a mess in Eddie’s kitchen but Buck’s kitchen was clean and organized while him and Chris were baking cookies for Chris’ whole class.  They even talked about cooking the steaks Buck and Eddie won while they played poker for dinner.

What was the reason for all of this?

Initially I, like many others was pissed at the lack of Buck and Eddie, Buck, Eddie and Chris and Buckley-Diaz Family scenes in 6A.  I’m still annoyed by it but like I mentioned above, hindsight is 20/20 so it’s possible the show was trying to get the audience to realize how important they are in each other’s lives by omitting them from specific and important scenes.

Did they do a good job of illustrating it?  NO!

They could have done it differently like a lot of other things but the season ended messily and by then it was too late to change it.

The point of this post is whenever Buck and Eddie are absent, it's noticeable and it can't be denied.  KR said they were mixing up the dynamics (related post linked here) but that can't be it because in 6x9 Hen ended up talking to her best friend Chimney about the way she was feeling about Denny wanting to meet Nathaniel after Eddie and Buck dropped off their four-way call, so she wasn't telling the whole truth.

Could their absences be a coincidence? No. Why?

Because in 6x7 Athena said she didn't believe in them and in 5x17 Karen said once is a mistake, two times is a coincidence and three times is a pattern.  Well, their absences happened more than three times so Buck and Eddie missing in action from each other's lives was a pattern in season 6 and it seems to have been done on purpose.

It appears the omittances of Buck and Eddie from specific scenes in season 6 was in preparation for season 7 but the question is, will anything come of them?  Who knows except for the showrunner (TM), the writers, producers and the actors and actresses so we shall see.

[keikikait]

ᴅᴀʀᴋ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ (ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

pairing: nanami kento x f!reader (not au, nanami is 28, reader is early to mid 20's)

word count: 2.1 k

summary: you just started your new job at trusted growth investments, working as a receptionist to one of the top performing stockbrokers, nanami kento. all seems normal, until one day you see something unforgettable in the dead of night.

warnings: no smut yet, but mention of masturbation (not in literally any detail), kinda slow burn. i know nothing about office culture, especially in japan, but i've tried my best! nanami barely talks, no use of y/n, kinda short i'm sorry!, i don't know how to write fight scenes.

a note: i am sorry for my long absence! i got dumped and had to move out of my apartment that i shared with my ex and move back home. i should be posting regularly!

read it on ao3 here

please reblog and like, it means a lot! let me know what you think!

At 7AM every day, bright and early, you clock into work.

After years of working customer service, ranging from a clothing store to a café, you've decided that it's no longer for you. You admired the office life of having your own little desk, set hours every week, and most of all, no customers.

Sure, you were romanticising it a little, but you had grown tired of answering stupid questions, tired of the ugly uniforms and pretending that the customer was always right. It was time for a change of pace.

Trusted Growth Investments was one of the most popular investment firms in all of Japan, not just Tokyo. The pay was incredible, much better than the minimum wage you had dealt with before. You got consistent hours, PTO, and bank holidays off.

Your job wasn't incredibly exciting, you mainly sat around twiddling your thumbs or reading a book, waiting for your boss to give you a task. Not that you minded, of course, your boss was one of the things you loved the most about your job. You were the personal receptionist to Nanami Kento, the best stockbroker in your region. He was nice, quiet, competent, and of course, hot as fuck. 

You two didn't talk much. He would work, occasionally chit-chat on his lunch, before leaving for the day, bidding you a formal farewell.

It seems today wouldn't be any different. At least, in the beginning.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

You look over as Nanami walks in, the elevator doors shutting behind him, heading over to his office. You stand up from my desk, bowing. “Good morning, Mr. Kento.”

He's as put together as usual, not a hair out of place on his head, his suit perfectly tailored to his tall frame. “Morning,” He gives you a polite nod as he walks past. “I trust there was no incident yesterday while I was gone?”

You nod, smiling. Occasionally Nanami would take time off, never giving you, or anyone really, a clear reason. All you knew is that he went to Shibuya, and even though the nosy person inside of you wanted to know more, you knew not to ask. “Everything went perfectly, sir. How was your trip?” 

He pauses in the threshold of his office, leaning against the door frame as he runs a hand though his hair, a rare moment where his hair is messy. The motion is enough to make your heart skip a beat. “Oh, you know… the usual. Nothing that your pretty little brain should worry about.” He responds, his voice slightly gruff, though not unkind. He flashes you a small smirk.

He heads inside his office, shutting the door. You sat back down in your chair, your cheeks growing hot and pink. You knew that you shouldn’t be as attracted to him as you are, after all, he was your boss, but you couldn’t help yourself. He was a hot, older man, and he carried himself so confidently. You take in a sharp breath through your nose, taking a sip of coffee before opening up your email and starting your work day.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

You noticed the little glances he gave you, the way he would place his hand on your shoulder and squeeze, and the way that he held his hand there for a bit too long. You tried not to read into it, but you couldn’t ignore the pooling warmth in your gut. It wouldn’t be the first time you would go home just to end up laying in bed with your hand between your thighs, your boss on your mind.

You were wrapping up for the day, signing off emails and checking off things on your to-do list. Your workday was supposed to end at 3PM, like it does every day, but when Nanami had asked for you to stay behind until 5PM, offering you an hour-long lunch to make up for it, you agreed. Any opportunity to be with him, to try to get as close as possible without overstepping a line.

Minutes melted into hours, the night seeping in, pulling down the sun while the colours in the sky called each other’s names to streak across a stretched blue canvas for a limited time. Your head swivels when his office door opens, his briefcase and travel mug in hand. “All finished for the day?”

Nanami nods his head, shoving his hands in his pockets, walking towards your desk. “For the day, yes, unfortunately. Lots to still do tomorrow.” He stands across your desk, his tall stature imposing, but not intimidating. He looks at you carefully, his gaze flickering down before meeting yours, a polite smile on his face. “Want me to walk you down?”

You smile, fingernails digging into your palm to repress the growing blush on your cheeks. “Go ahead. I have some more emails to send. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He glances at your hand as you dig your fingernails into your palm, his brows scrunching just a tiny bit. He shakes it off, waving his hand nonchalantly. “Yeah, tomorrow. Don’t forget to sign off,” He turns to the elevator and pushes the down button. The elevator dings and the doors glide open. He steps inside and pauses before the doors close. He hesitates for a moment, his mouth moving as if he’s about to say something else. In the end, he decides not to. “Good night.”

“Good night, Mr. Kento.” You say with a small smile.

The doors slide close, and you let out a shaky breath, returning to your computer. After sending out the last few emails and clocking out, you gather your things and head outside, heels clicking along the tiles as the custodians move around you, vacuuming and emptying trash bins. 

You tap your key card against the lock, the front door sliding open. It’s already dark, the lights lining the street caused a paused dance in the dark-- filaments glowing a blood orange in the mouths of their glass cages. You pull your coat tighter, buttoning it slightly as you walk down the steps, heading in the direction of the station. It was quiet, even for a Tuesday night. No one seemed to be out, everyone locked up away in the comforts of their homes, watching the looming dark grey clouds overhead, waiting for the impending rainstorm.

You start your trek home, heels clicking along the pavement as you walk. Even though the streets are empty, the only feeling of life coming from the lampposts, you can't shake the unnerving feeling of being watched by something hidden, crouched down in the shadows. You try to ignore it, cutting through an alleyway next to the 7/11, lifting the broken chain link fence and stepping under it. You curse to yourself as it gets caught in your purse, tugging you back harshly as you try to take another step. You turn your back to the expanse of the alley as I untangle the link from your wired headphones.

Someone-- something watches you from the shadows, its dark eyes following the quick movement of your hands, the way you pull at the chain link fence that separates you from it. Your back facing it like an offering, like an opportunity. In its twisted mind, you’re perfect. A little mouse, all alone in the alleyway, all the while being blissfully unaware of its presence. It was like a gift from the gods, a reward for its good behaviour, a chance to finally pounce.

You gasp slightly, your head swivelling as you hear a leaf crunch. Your eyes scan the alleyway, the hair on the back of your neck standing up as goosebumps crawl down your arms. The alleyway is completely void of life, no one in sight, and yet you know that something is there, something lurking in the dark. You go back to untangling your headphones, turning your back to the alleyway once again. You had to be imagining things.

It moves so silently, slinking lower to the ground, like a snake stalking a mouse. It can practically smell your fear, can feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins, waiting for you to turn around, waiting for you to bolt so it can chase. But it doesn’t. It stays crouching low, watching you scan the alleyway, watching you shiver. It's practically panting, the thrill of the chase getting high into its head, like a drug.

Your head turns again, your fingers finally untangling the headphones, and that's when you see it, perched on someone’s balcony, right in their herb garden.

Something large, bipedal that resembles a grasshopper, with two giant wings on it’s back. Out of all six legs, it's only standing on two, the other four hanging to his sides. It's watching you now, tilting its head to the side as its antennae twitch. Those large eyes watch you carefully as its spindly fingers wrap around the railing. It makes no move to approach you just yet, it hasn't determined whether you’re a threat, or a meal yet.

After a few long moments of standing across from each other, you see its lips curl into a toothy, unsettling grin.

It screeches, leaping into the air, and you take off down the alley, running as fast as you can, your legs starting to ache. You reach the other side, bending down to grab the bottom of the broken fence to lift it up, when the monster lands on top, perched on the railing.

It looks down at you. It's even more terrifying up close. You can see the individual pieces of green-black carapace that cover its body, its massive wings fluttering silently in the night air. The worst part of it was the eyes, they look hungry, large, black, and soulless. They look like the eyes of a hunter, a predator, a monster from your nightmares. It clicks its mouth at you as you lose your balance and nearly trip, stepping back a few paces.

It screeches again, leaping into the air. You try to run, spinning around and bolting down the alley, but it catches up to you, picking you up effortlessly with one of it’s four arms. You dangle mid-air, only a few feet off of the ground, trying to wiggle away, fear creeping into your body, filling your lungs like smoke. You want to scream, scream for help, but you can’t, the words trapped in your throat.

The monster presses against you, its two other arms pinning your arms to your sides, its clawed hands wrapping around your waist. Its face is close to you, practically breathing against your cheek. It sniffs again, before opening its mouth and licking up the side of your neck. A few tears escape your eyes, rolling down your cheeks in streams. It smells of death and decay.

You suddenly hear a twhip as something flies past your head. It’s a fucking knife, wrapped with a white fabric covered with black dots, almost Rorschach in design, a design for a second you swear you recognise. The monster screeches, dropping you onto the ground in a heap.

You hit the ground with a hard thud, your ears starting to ring as your vision blurs. You struggle to get air in your lungs, your heart beating so hard and fast you can feel it in your throat. Through the edges of your hazy vision, you can faintly see the large silhouette of someone, their body blocking the light of the street lamp. They speak, their voice deep and rough, laced with years of exhaustion.

“Are you hurt?” They ask.

You go to respond, the voice is so warm and familiar, and you swear for a second you know it, when the creature screeches again. 

You flinch, covering your ears as the creature screeches, the sound piercing through your ears, echoing in your very bones. The shadows of the alley obscure the stranger, but you can hear the clashing of metal against claws, the screeching of the monster. You try to stand up, but your legs feel like jelly, your back, and neck aching from the fall. You try to speak, but the words die in your throat as the creature screeches again. 

The screech is loud, almost blood-curdling, when it suddenly stops. You hear a sickening squish before a heavy thump, the body of the monster falling onto the ground as the head rolls over to you, bumping into your calf.

The man stands nearby, panting as he wipes the knife off, sliding it into his suit pocket. He gets down on one knee over you, brushing some hair out of your face. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Your vision clears, and you see him clearly now. You groan, sitting up on your palms.

“Mr. Kento?”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

i have no idea. please don't ask. i will do a part 2 if you want!

[corvidaedream]

i put in my two weeks notice at work this morning and i feel so much relief knowing theres like. an end point now.

i still havent gotten a job offer in ri yet, but some interviews have gone well, and between my unused pto and my savings (and the much lower expenses i'll be dealing with) i'm not worried about being unemployed for a little bit while i wait to hear back.

obviously i feel attachment to this 18th century woman who ive researched more and thought about more than probably anyone has before me, but in two weeks i wont have to be her anymore, and just knowing that feels amazing. it feels like a step of my transition.

[weebsinstash]

GOD I am a slut for an entire yandere spider society; like not all romantic, and clearly Miguel being the alpha romance, but can you imagine?

Like your prompt where readers dopple was causing issues the way yandere society would react? Trying to find you, bring you home? A mile morales level chase lmao

Miguel: --and that concludes today's meeting on the recent anomalies. Now, are there any matters any members would like to present before we adjourn?

some rando running up the the stage with a bunch of materials: I've got one, I've got one!

Rando: *sets up a whole ass projector and suddenly a picture of your smiling face is up on the wall*

Rando: this is just a really good photo I got of them when we were hanging out the other day :) I thought they looked super cute and they said they were feeling happy

The crowd: *resounding 'ooo's and 'ah's*

Miguel, nodding in approval: excellent, agent OBT, keep up the good work

Absolutely obsessed with the idea that YouTwo was only able to basically steal your entire identity because the Society is so infatuated with you that any weird changes in your behavior are completely brushed off because they already like you so much that you'd have to do something like super outrageous and hurtful for them to like, really start getting suspicious. You're getting extremely depressed because you think you're being replaced by this impersonator when, in truth, the only reason everyone seems to instantly like them is because they literally look and sound exactly like you, and the SECOND it comes out that that ISNT you? Well. I mean. It's an entire society of Spiderpeople from across the multiverse. There's definitely at least ONE murderer who's going to 'take care of them' or at the very least they're kicked out of Nueva York and never allowed to travel the multiverse ever again

Like. I just. Cannot even imagine like. On one hand you think they would be so obsessed and observant kf you that they immediately know when theyre speaking to you or your double, i'm sure SOME people are suspicious, but, the idea of them just being so crazy for you "oh gosh yesterday I hung out with Reader and they kicked a puppy for getting dirt on them and the next day when I asked them about it they started crying about 'why is everyone accusing me of shit I didn't do' and said they hadn't hung out with me in weeks. They must just be really stressed from work, you know they push themselves so hard, we should tell Miguel to give them some PTO :(" like they would basically be willing to make excuses for almost anything you do because "oh that's just Reader aren't they great 🥰 they're a lil quirky sometimes but we love them"

YouTwo would honestly be such a nasty little manipulator and genuine threat to your safety because once they realize holy shit they really could have ANYTHING, they dont want to give that up. Imagine you start having situations like, oh your double accidentally bumps passed you so hard it knocks you over and basically no one reacts because they thought YOU were the extra. Things randomly falling on you from higher levels. Them pretending to be you and "creating scenes" in public where you're getting publicly berated. They start fake crying and saying you're being mean to them and suddenly you're being asked to leave?

It's this vicious back and forth of them treating you well and like they normally do and then suddenly treating you awful and you don't even realize it's because that two faced POS is literally stealing your costume or mask and any other personal effects to impersonate you. I can only imagine the PANDEMONIUM when they realize you're GONE gone or even worse, started becoming suicidal. I keep thinking back to my idea of Reader needing to wear one of their dimensional watches to help keep them tethered down so they don't glitch out and potentially taking it off and it just makes them blink somewhere else instead of, like, die. And, like, there's just some public incident where a bunch of them become aware Oh Shit You're Not Doing Good.

Like. I have a draft started and I started getting down like a specific scene I couldn't get out of my head. Reader is needing to be needed and the Society has this project where they're trying to make a big large scaled elevator sort of platform for like, older and disabled Spiders so they don't all have to swing everywhere and can still be included, and just for Spiders who may be tires after a long day and don't want to swing and climb, and there's some massive incident where it's starting to break apart spring construction of you rush to help because you NEED to be helpful again, you NEED to feel like you matter, and everyone is trying to band together to keep all this debri and rubble from falling below and you're literally like, have one arm hanging on to a tether and your other arm holding up this massive like bus sized piece of the elevator shaft that had started to fall. And people are literally screaming at you to just let it drop, but you're saying they have no idea if everyone below was evacuated, and this elevator is so important, everyone's been working so hard, you can't just let it break, even as trying to hold it up is practically tearing you in half

You manage to create a calculated array of webs that supports it from completely falling but some falling pieces and rubble still break apart and you're so worn down that you just knocked off a platform and fall, landing hard and even having shit fall on top of you. You're just pinned by a massive piece of concrete and you're too exhausted from pushing yourself to hard for the last few weeks that you can't lift it off. You smacked different surfaces on the way down and somehow your bracelet came off and you're glitching. You can see the bracelet caught on a piece of rebar thats far away but close enough to grab if you shoot a web. But. Suddenly you cant find the motivation to. The rescue team and other Spiders and most important Miguel finally arrive on the scene to find you basically about to completely fade away or teleport or whatever and everyone is freaking out, trying to pick through the debris for the watch, lifting the construction materials off of your body (but I imagine you probably broke something, fractured a femur or something similar) and Miguel notices you keep glancing behind him, but. He doesn't miss how resigned you look, how tired and deflated you sound as you ask if the elevator is ok to which almost everyone responds hey yo FUCK the elevator you're about to like DIE??? And you just. Kind of laugh and say "at least i helped and did at least one good thing in my life" which freaks them all out, and eventually Miguel turns around to look where you keep glancing at and sees the bracelet just in time and his heart breaks as he realizes, holy shit you could see it was hanging there but just. Wasn't going to tell them. You were just going to die.

But hey, only he really makes that realization and you only have to deal with him having that knowledge, right? Wrong. He goes to put it back on you and countless Spiders can see and hear as you shake your head and close your eyes and whimper "just let me go. I don't belong here"

So now basically EVERYONE knows AND now you're straight up in a fucking wheelchair and Miguel tells you, obviously you'll be having no more work until you're completely healed up, and even though that's to help you it actually makes you more upset because like, imagine they give your job to your double. So now, in your mind, you have no reason to be here. You feel like you're completely alone and now your "purpose" is gone and you're BEGGING HIM not to do this to you, that you can still do SOMETHING, and this man is looking at you literally injured in a wheelchair being, by no exaggeration, HYSTERICAL, and thinks "yeah no, poor Reader DEFINITELY needs a break, obviously being so obsessed with being useful isn't healthy, a break from their responsibilities will help them rest" and, like, kind of true but it also just makes you feel so much worse

I imagine YouTwo would HATE you being in the wheelchair too because now people can definitively tell the two of you apart and the imposter can't suck up all the perks of you being the local darling and they're even angrier than before because YT is like "wow so even after all this time, I still don't compare" and vows to basically fucking kill you (and hey maybe they were even behind the elevator collapsing?)

But you finally decide you can't take it anymore once you're out of the chair, those constantly watching eyes and people hanging around you --which really is the whole yandere thing but also them wanting to keep an eye on you so you dont get hurt-- you interpret it as them thinking you're stupid and incompetent and I imagine you just kind of. Blow up. Get triggered. Reach your breaking point. You had just been insisting that you do a certain task alone or visit a certain place by yourself without having an extra shadow or two or twelve and you're just, you've had it, your stress from EVERYTHING is coming out in this moment and you're just SCREAMING, "Leave me alone, just give me some FUCKING SPACE" and you just TAKE OFF and that's when we get a massive chase. Obviously given that they're you know yandere and you're so extremely upset and have had mental health issues they IMMEDIATELY take after you and someone is phoning Miguel and at some point you're literally like, swinging in between traffic to try and lose your pursuers and you can hear Miguel behind you and it's just unlocking this insane sense of fear and panic and fight or flight inside of you. They're making it so much worse by chasing you and in THEIR minds they're just worried about you and think you're just having a panic attack? Which you are but like, from your perspective, you're literally being smothered and you ask for some time alone and now you're being hunted down and now you're just upset and panicking

You have to be literally tackled and at this point you're just getting angry and belligerent. Some rando is like "Reader this isn't you, we had so much fun last week at the mall when I bought you all that stuff" nd you're just like "I don't even know who you are, what the fuck are you talking about, ove barely left home in the last 3 months except for work" and suddenly so many people are popping up in the crowd,

"Wait so it wasn't you I leant 50 bucks to last Tuesday?"

"No!"

"But you and I went out to the mall yesterday?"

"You mean when I was sleeping at home all day?"

"Weren't you with us when we stole a bunch of stuff from the British Musuem with Pavitr?"

"Who the FUCK is Pavitr?!"

Everyone starts absolutely freaking the fuck out and clamoring amongst themselves, comparing stories, and they quickly realize, oh holy shit they've actually barely seen you around for months, almost NO ONE has actually spent time with the real you. Your doppelganger was so efficient and on their toes at never getting caught that the Society never even realized you were basically gone and now they're all kicking themselves as you lay there crying "you guys didn't even notice I was gone? You can't even tell us apart?"

Miguel calls for an emergency meeting with every Spider in the super secret We Love Reader club as everyone irons out their stories and gives their personal accounts while Miguel reviews it with security footage and they start to fully grasp just how BADLY this-this IMPOSTER has-has-has DEFILED their bonds with you and drove you into isolation and self doubt and they're all raving, lynch mob mad. And obviously unless they're like, completely out of their minds, they can't KILL your faker, but, like.... they can beat them half to death though. Like could you imagine that some of these Spiders have been deadass giving like really significant meaningful gifts they intended to you and it was given to A STRANGER? Some Peter Parker finds out, oh shit he gave that old token from Uncle Ben to THEM, not YOU? So many of them confronting the faker and finding out they've just been stealing tons of gifts and money and favors and shit and they've GOTTEN RID OF some of the things that were meant for YOU. These are some seriously pissed off stalkers at this point.

But Jesus. The absolute mayhem if they didn't find all of this out until you've already snuck off to a normal, Spider free section of Nueva York or another dimension entirely and you've just been GONE. Their guilt and realization that they drove you away amd you left to never have to see any of them. You're just like trying to live a normal life in an apartment somewhere and suddenly at least 5 costumed pursuers are suddenly in your living room with Miguel checking you all over and making sure you're not hurt anywhere, hell maybe he even finds self harm cuts, some new, some clesrly older, and they make it abundantly clear that you're NOT staying here by yourself. You're coming back to the Society HQ in Nueva York and you're getting an even better (and bugged) apartment than you had before and they're gonna make sure they pay more attention yo you this time, right? No more crazy stunts, and definitely no more trying to leave.

Ok. Ok I know this post is getting long but I have one last bit. What if the alternative to YouTwo getting exposed and them having to come after you is, YouTwo actually manages to "switch your places" or something, maybe they even switch their costume wirh yours while stealing yours so you're walking around dressed as them, looking for them to get your costume back, and suddenly you're being confront by Miguel and a ton of other Spiders because that evil little rat ran to them fake crying saying that "the other me impersonating me" and, you're kind of being deliberately trapped in a scenario where you look kind of guilty. Like imagine YouTwo is escorted away and suddenly Miguel and the rest are being rude to you and when you try to tell O'Hara "I'm not lying, I'm the REAL--" and he just slaps you and tells you to leave the city and never come back, and AFTER they treated you so deliberately terribly, THAT'S when they realize what happened

I'm definitely not like hyperfixating on these guys and this concept and Spider Reader stuff, what, that's crazy lmao

[icanbeyourjedi-writes]

It Was Just A Dream... Chapter Two

Summary: Frankie is all moved in, or is he? A cute game of cat and mouse has an ending you wouldn’t expect, Frankie’s mood swings end with an outcome neither of them expected.  Words: 5,000+ Rating: 18+ Adult Themes Warnings/Triggers:  Addiction, Falling for Your Brothers Friend, Language, OFC is somewhat described as someone with longer hair, but no race/eye color/body type  

A/N: I don’t know much about addiction, just the things that I googled and seen portrayed on TV. This is completely an AU. I had the beginning of this story pop in my head randomly and thought it sounded fun to explore. Sure we all love Frankie was that sweet puppy dog…but what if he had his own inner demons he had to battle with.  The ‘coke charge’ was mentioned in TF and I kinda wanted to explore that side of him. 

**This is written asa  first person, and it's my first time writing in first person, so please be gentle with me. I also include Frankie's POV which will be Bold and Italics

It took two days, four, well three and a half strong men moved all of Frankie’s stuff. My house might be small, but the best part. Despite only having two bedrooms, the bedrooms are huge. The guest room is slightly smaller than my master and there isn’t an attached bathroom but still plenty is space for his stuff. I kept the small desk there, well honestly that was the only thing I had there. Five years of living here and my guest room was still empty. Mostly why I think Benny volunteered my space, I was also someone he knew. All of Frankie’s belongings were still in taped boxes. We didn’t know how long Benny was going to be gone, it made sense to bring more than just a duffle bag of stuff. 

It's been two weeks since he had moved in, his clothes still in boxes, extra bedding still in boxes. He’s been wearing the same gray sweatpants and black shirt since he got here. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a man in specifically gray ones as much as the next girl, but he hasn’t changed. I don’t even know if he has showered. Seeing him all mopey is making me mad and slightly frustrated. I know he would much rather be back at what has been his home for years, but he needs help and I want to help. I just have no idea what I am doing. I’m feeling guilty making him move, and I know I shouldn’t. 

Thanks to having no social life I had a lot of PTO built up, I’ve been off these two weeks trying to help him feel at home. It’s been mostly awkward living with him when it shouldn’t. Awkward grunts, one word answers, he eats alone despite my best efforts. Yesterday he came out of his room and talked to me, it was about a cricket outside his window that just wouldn’t shut up. It was the first time he seemed to be normal? Is that even the right word, what is normal? 

It’s late afternoon, and he had been in his room the entire day. Walking past his room and I see him sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the boxes sitting along the wall picking at his fingernails. He has had mood swings that have him going from happy to sad in seconds.  I thought about walking past him again, keep going on with my day.  But I couldn’t stand seeing the boxes still stacked. It felt like he was ready to move as soon as Benny stepped foot on American soil again, and I was terrified of seeing him live like he didn’t belong here.  I stop and gently tap on the open door, “hey…you want some help with those?”

He doesn’t look up at me, instead he just continues to stare at the box, “there’s just so much, I don’t know where to start” he takes a deep breath hanging his head 

I walk into his room, he is still sitting on the bed. I grab the top box labeled ‘shirts’ and then turn back towards him. I tap his foot with mine, motioning with my head he needs to move. He stands up and watches as I drop the box on the bed and start grabbing a few shirts and put them in one of the many empty drawers. I hear him sigh with disapproval and I look at him “What?” I groan in frustration 

“They need to be folded neatly, and by color. As well as style, but it’s fine…it’s fine. I’ll just do it later” he rubs the back of his neck

Call it being a perfectionist, I call it someone who was trained that everything always had to have order.  Everything needed to have crisp lines, be organized.  Having its rightful spot, years of military training would do this to a person and I was all too aware that it wasn’t fine.

I pull the shirts back out of the drawer, hoping he doesn’t see my eye roll and I set them back in the box. I didn’t expect this to be easy, but I also didn’t expect I was going to have to be his mother and not a friend. I didn’t think I was going to have to tell Frankie to eat, to take a shower. All the things I thought he already knew, was he like this in rehab? “Then refold the shirts and put them in the drawer” shit was that too aggressive? “I think I might make you feel more at home if you do” I put a hand on his shoulder gently rubbing it. 

I watch as he takes a shirt out, folds it meticulously. The edges of the shirt are perfect, he sets it on the bed, his hand running over the shirt, taking out any wrinkles. Every shirt has an order, by color, type, it is memorizing watching him as he moves. Folding every time with such perfection. I have to shake my head and snap out of it, I grab another box and open it to find it stuffed with boxers. He is completely focused on his shirts as I work to put the boxer briefs in a drawer hoping the fold in half method works for him. 

I pull out black pair after black pair.  There was an occasional gray mixed in. After seeing him in those gray sweatpants for the past two weeks my mind can’t help but imagine him in these and how great they would make his thighs look, his…’stop.  Don’t think about that. He’s now your roommate you can’t do that’ all those thots fall when I pull out a baby blue pair with little cat heads wearing headsets. Different types of helicopters fill the empty space between the cat faces. I can’t but giggle holding them up, Frankie stops what he is doing and looks up, “care to explain these” holding the boxers in the air and shake them, I arch an eyebrow at him smiling 

He reaches across and snatches them from my hands “nope…” he paused for a moment fold the boxers in half “you got them” he places them on the bottom of the drawer under the pile of black ones 

“I did?” I truly don’t remember. One would think someone would remember getting boxers that looked like that 

“Yeah, Christmas a few years ago” he returns his focus to the shirts in the box

”Oh my God, you’re right. I did” I laugh

”You said, that I was impossible to shop for, and you wanted something unique to remember you when I was away” 

Frankie is the most impossible person to shop for. He always would say he didn’t need anything, he said to not waste money on a guy like him. He wasn’t worth it. I watch Frankie roll his eyes as I tell him again that he is impossible to shop for. A hint of a smile begins to appear and I think that we might have a breakthrough. I finished the box I was working on, broke it down and leaned it against the wall. Frankie pulls out his last shirt and folds it, setting it on the top of a pile. Grabbing the small stack he turns and starts to put them in the top drawer. I grab the box and start to break it down when I see a film strip inside. I reach in and grab the photos. 

I stare at them, a clean shaven, wide-eyed twenty something Francisco Morales. I had a photo from this shoot, but I never saw these two. It was before his first deployment and the guys went and did some ‘glamor shots’ as a gag gift. Frankie’s in a purple shirt and leather jacket. His brown hair falling perfectly into place. The first photo his hands are in his back pockets. Showing off his impressive chest and broad shoulders, his smile that makes one’s heart beat a little faster and an instant panty dropper. The other, I swear, he could have been a model. His arms crossed over his chest. His biceps bursting the seams of his jacket, his lips pursed together in a brooding expression. Holy shit, he’s hot…“What do we have here?”

Frankie turns and looks at me, it takes a moment for him to realize what I’m holding in my hand. “Give those here” he reaches for them and I quickly pull them away

”Nope…” I laugh and hold them up, inspecting the photos a bit more

”Lex” he says, a bit more authoritative, it’s deep and it’s sexy. He takes a step towards me, I take a couple small steps towards his open door. I try to keep a distance between us 

I have a small idea, “you want them?” I ask slowly moving backward closer to the door, he starts to close the distance nodding his head yes, “then you’ll just have to come and get them” I smile and turn to run through the door. 

He bolts out of the room following me, I forget how fast he is and how incredibly silent he can be. He’s on my heels in an instant and I run a circle around the couch. Heading past him and into the kitchen, stopping at one end of the small island. He’s facing me on the other side “Lex…” he says.  I smile, laugh and run past his outstretched arm.  

“Gotta be quicker than that Morales” I ran around the house again, waiting for him to turn and find me again. I lose my breath as I’m back in his room, the bed as a barrier between us. I look at the photos and see him strut back into his room. I clearly didn’t think this through completely as I find myself trapped on the one side of the bed. Frankie blocking the only exit. He starts to walk around the bed, he’s standing at the end while I move further up closer to the headboard. I’m waiting for him, I have my escape planned. He fakes a step to the left towards me and I step up onto his bed. The piles of shirts start to fall when I bring my other foot up. He reaches across the bed, “Bad move, Miller” he snarls and wraps a hand around my ankle pulling it out and dropping me to the bed. 

I hold the photos above my head, he pulls me closer. Placing his thigh is between my legs and crawling the bed until  he’s hovering over my body. We’re both laughing and I struggle to keep the photos out of his reach. His large hand captures both of my wrists and pins them to the bed. I squirm below him, trying to break free.  “Stop moving” he grunts, his other hand lands on my hip. Holding me tightly in place, my shirt slightly raised and his thumb slowly rubbing against my bare skin. Our laughter slowly turns into heavy breathing. 

His face is so close, I can feel his warm breath. His eyes are so full of life now, I see the small parts of the old Frankie. The Frankie that became a friend, family, a crush. My heart is pounding and I am pretty positive Frankie can hear it, his hand is setting my skin on fire and I have no idea what is happening. But I want to kiss him, I want him to kiss me, I want to feel his lips on mine. “Frankie…” I whisper 

“Hmmm” he leans closer to me, his nose brushing along mine 

I don’t know what I was going to say, I didn’t imagine us ending up like this. I clearly didn’t think this through and I have no idea what to do. Time seems to move slow, and I don’t know how long we stay like this. His eyes focused on mine, I feel like he is looking into my soul. Does he want me to kiss him? Should I kiss him? His hand still wrapped around my wrists, the other still holding my hip. 

“KISS HIM ALREADY” my inner voice yells. I finally make a move, I close the short distance between, my lips just about to touch his when my phone rings in my back pocket. His hand releases my wrists and he sits up on the bed. I close my eyes, wishing I didn’t take so long to make the move. I reach behind me, pulling out my phone. It was work, I smiled and mouth a sorry to him, sliding the answer button and bringing the phone to my ear. “Hello” I stand and walk out of his room 

“Why didn’t I kiss her? She was right there…would she even want me to kiss her?” He thinks to himself, running his fingers through his hair 

He looks at himself in the mirror. The same sweatpants he’s been wearing for well over a week, he looked like a hot mess. At least the shirt was clean, or he thought his shirt was clean. He sees the unruly hair, the 5 o’clock shadow had turned into a fully grown beard. “Because you're a pathetic loser, look at you. She’d never want you to kiss her” that negative voice inside him says. Frankie shakes his head, hands covering his face. He rubs his eyes and tries to remember Will telling him wasn’t.  But the thing is, Will was never a very good liar and the voice becomes louder and louder. 

“Fishie…hey Fish” her voice brings him back. He looks up at her “hey, you ok?

“yeah…yeah” he says, but her face tells him she doesn’t believe him. 

“uhm, ok.  I gotta run to work for a bit. I’m not sure when I’ll be home but there’s money on the table. Order some take out”  

He nods, giving her his best smile and watches as she walks away. He hears the door open and close.  Standing up he peeks his head out the door, he doesn’t hear her. He just needs to take the edge off. He knows he will feel a lot better when he can’t feel anything again. He knows he doesn’t have much left, but enough to last him at least today. He’ll worry about tomorrow-tomorrow. Thank God he hid the green can well enough that Alex didn’t find it. Just one hit, that’s all he needs.

“Take a shower, you’ll feel better after a shower. You’re better than this” he can hear Will’s voice. 

It didn’t.

“Food, get some food. Don’t do this Cat” the voice says

My phone dances on my desk as I finish some paperwork. I had plenty of PTO built up, but the doctor's office had an influx of new patients and I was one of the few who knew how to enter all the data and get them set up. It wasn’t where I pictured myself when I graduated college with a degree in film.  But it’s a good paying job, and it kept me close to home. 

Fishie 🐟: u like Pad Thai 🍲 

Me: Not really, and I don’t think that’s Pad Thai haha

Fishie 🐟: oh ok what u want? 

I type back a response, telling him to order what he wants. The money on the table was for him to do what he wanted. I might not like Pad Thai, but that shouldn’t stop him from ordering it. I finish typing a few things and grab my phone. I walked over to some of my coworkers who were getting ready to head out as well. I lean against Laura’s desk. She was chatting with a few of the nurses, I watched my phone as the little bubble with dots popped up, then disappeared, appeared again, and disappeared again. I sigh, my head drops. His mood swings are driving me insane. 

Me: I like noodles, with teriyaki sauce if that counts as Pad Thai

“What’s up Buttercup” Laura smiles cheerfully

”Have you ever had to help a friend with an addiction?” I look up, the mouths all open “seriously. A friend, not me” 

“What kind of addiction?” Laura asks, she was my go-to at work. Her upbeat attitude always had the answers 

“Narcotics…” I reply 

Is this friend living with you?” a nurse asks 

I tell them how the friend just got out of rehab, I leave out the part that the friend is a he, and the he is Frankie. I tell them how rehab said something about how they shouldn’t be left alone, doctors orders they need to live with someone in case of a relapse. “Sometimes I feel like I see the person I became friends with, then sometimes hhhh-they are a completely different person. Someone I don’t even know and it’s only been two weeks” 

“Just keep being there for them, don’t push too hard. But they need to know you are there for him. I mean them, no matter what it is, they can trust you” she puts a hand on top of mine 

“You can’t give up on them.  No matter how hard they try to push you away, you push back. They’ll have their moments but like Laura said, you just need to be there. Letting them know you won’t give up on them” 

“Thanks,” I take a deep breath and stare at my phone, he still hasn’t responded “I just wish I knew what he needed, he doesn’t talk” 

“Give it time, he will open up when he’s ready” 

'Did she just say he? How does she know' I think

I walk into the house, kicking off my shoes and dropping my purse off on the little side table. I hear grunting from down the hall. ‘Oh please don’t tell me he has a girl here’ I think to myself moving towards his room. “Frankie?” 

T-Shirts he had just folded and pants were thrown into the hall. I move towards the open door dodging pants being thrown out as I get close, I look into his room and it looks like a tornado hit. The mattress shoved against the wall, drawers empty and pulled from the dresser, clothes thrown around the room. I see Frankie bent over in his closet he had on a new pair of dark green sweats on, he’s shirtless. Little water droplets still cling to his hair and a towel draped over the back of a chair. 

“Where the fuck is it?!” he shouts as I watch him throw more things around. 

“Where is what?” I ask, and instantly regret it 

He turned quickly looking at me, his eyes filled with rage and nostrils flaring. I’ve never seen this look before, and he slowly starts to walk towards me. There’s an evil glint to his eye and it scares me. 

“Where the fuck did you put it Alexandra?” He snarls 

“If you told me what you are looking for…” I tried to not raise my voice, trying to keep calm. He needs me to remain calm. 

“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR! DON’T PLAY STUPID” 

The yelling intensifies and I know the neighbors can hear us, stay calm. Don’t make things worse. 

What happened to the Frankie from earlier? 

“I need you to calm down, Frankie. Please. Just tell me what you're looking for and I can help” I wanna put my hand on his shoulder, ground him. Let him know I’m here, but he’s breathing heavy, his lip curls up in an evil grin. 

“I know you have it!” he says in an oddly calm manner, “JUST GIVE IT TO ME!!!” He yells 

He takes a step closer, he raises his fist. I flinch as the closed hand comes flying towards me and it connects with the wall inches from my head. “Give it to me now Alex” he growls

“What in the hell is your problem!?” I yell shoving his chest back

“You! Benny! This stupid fucking place. I don’t want to be here!” His eyes begin to water and a tear streams down his cheek, he takes a couple steps back

“Fine, then fucking leave! No one is forcing you to be here Francisco” I try to hold back by own tears “I am sick and tired of seeing you being all mopey and shit.  You don’t want to be here, FINE” 

Shit…I am pretty sure I just over stepped. I go to open my mouth to apologize and there is a hard knock at the door followed by a “Police” 

“You called the Police?” He shouts 

“I’ve been standing in front of you the entire time arguing with you. When would I have had time to call the police?” I say, I back up and move towards the front door. The knocks become more aggressive “I’m coming!” 

I unlock the door and see three officers standing there. They all have a concerned look on their faces

”Good evening ma’am. We got a call about some yelling and wanted to make sure everything was ok” the taller officer said

”Everything is fine. It’s great. Just swell” my words are dripped with sarcasm

“Do you mind stepping outside to talk to my partner Officer James” he looks over my shoulder and sees Frankie, “hey there sir.  Mind coming over here for a moment?” 

He is sitting on the porch as she stands by the car. He fucked up, she’s given up on him. He’s given up on himself. 

“What’s your name?” The youngest officer asks him 

Frankie reads the name printed on his chest. T. Baker. “Frank, my name is Frank and everything is fine Officer Baker” 

Baker keeps asking bin questions.  What happened, did she hit him. Did he hit her? How long has he been living here? What was their relationship? Frankie becoming more annoyed with each question. What did it matter? He fucked things up and he needed a hit more then ever. He was looking for his coke, she found him on a downward spiral but there was no way he was going to tell him that. Suddenly the questions take a turn, when Officer Baker notices a tattoo on his chest. 

“What branch?” 

“Excuse me” Frankie responds confused 

“Your tattoo?”

“Oh yeah, Army. Special Ops, I was a pilot” 

He has a tattoo on the left side of his chest, a helicopter flying. A sun and clouds shaded in the background. The helicopter with incredible detail, one of the ones he first learned how to fly. A few men repelling from the bird.  Just below a group of trees

“Thank you for your service sir.  Wait here, I have some stuff for you” Baker nods his head and walks to the patrol car 

He watches him shuffle down the stairs, he sees Alex and for a moment they lock eyes. His heart nearly stops as he sees the tears in her eyes that she quickly wipes away. He caused this pain and for what, a stupid little hit that was nearly enough to take away the pain. He ruined everything. The afternoon was so great, and now she wants him out. Officer Baker was walking back with a stack of papers in his hand. 

“For the hundredth time, he didn’t hurt me. He would never do that” I groaned. I have said the same thing over and over. Are they trying to get a different answer? Despite Frankie punching a hole in the wall, he would never lay a hand on me. 

I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes taking in a deep breath. When I open my eyes, I see Frankie. His eyes locked onto mine. The hurt, the pain, he looks lost. The officer hands him a stack of papers. His hands shaking as he takes them, he turns his head down and he walks into the house. 

“Ms. Miller, if you need anything else please give us a call” the officer sees his small notebook and sticks it in his chest pocket. “Have a good night” he walks past me and heads to his car. 

I head to the steps of my front porch watching the officer who had spoken to Frankie walk down. He stops me before I walk past him, “he’ll be ok. Just give it time. I’ve been there. He’s got a good girlfriend, just be patient with him” 

I stop in my tracks, my jaw drops. What the hell did Frankie tell him? “Wait…what?” I ask. But it was too late, the officer already getting back into his car. I shake my head and walk into the house locking the door behind me. 

It’s getting late and I’m hungry. I walk past the hallway that leads to the bedrooms and notice Frankie bent over picking up the clothes that had been thrown into the hallway. I should say something, I should apologize to him. I get distracted, watching the muscles in his back strain with every movement. ‘Focus Alex’. What is wrong with me, this man just put me through a roller coaster of emotions. I can’t get distracted by something as stupid as watching him work. 

I shake my head and walk towards the kitchen. I hope to find some leftover takeout since I know the fridge is empty. Instead I find the $20 left on the table in the same exact place I left it. I can’t leave, that would require me letting Frankie know, and it might be petty but I really don’t want to talk to him right now, maybe even for the rest of the night. I open the freezer and pray that the ice cream is still there. I open the door and find the pint of cookie dough ice cream still sitting there. I do a little happy dance and grab a spoon. I make my way to the living room and flop down on the sofa, turning on the TV and pop the top off digging in. 

“I fucked up…” he says to himself folding the shirts, putting them back in the dresser. He pushes the mattress back onto the frame and sits on the edge of his bed. He looks up and sees the hole he had punched into the wall. An image of Alex’s face floods his memory. He fucked up so bad that she didn’t even say two words to him when she came back into the house. He left the pamphlets on the coffee table, she’s going to find them. He knows it.

The papers were for local rehabs where VA’s held sobriety classes.  They had everything from AA to NA to Gambling. He didn’t want to go to rehab again, he felt more alone then he ever had there. That’s where he met George, well Steve really. He made it though those 30 days thanks to him smuggling in just enough coke to help them both function like normal adults. Nicole, well she helped in other ways. One keeping his secret and she helped him take his mind off things when he was able to bury himself in her. She wasn’t who he wanted, but she was there.  She was a quick fuck. It didn’t mean anything, and he felt bad when he told her it wasn’t going to last when he left. His mind racing with all these thoughts, he’ll finish cleaning later. He’ll patch the hole tomorrow. Right now he has something bigger to take care of. He needs to repair this whatever-ship he had with Alex. He needs her. 

He plops on the couch next to her, she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t even look at him, she focused on the ice cream in her hand and the moving pictures on the TV

”Ice cream for dinner?” He asks ‘great icebreaker Morales, you idiot’ his inner demon mocks him 

“Yeah, the perk of being an adult. No one can tell me what to eat Franklin” she stuffs another spoon into her mouth, “that and someone didn’t buy dinner like I told them too” 

‘She called me Franklin…maybe she’s not that mad’ he reads her face, it’s softened…a hint of a smile. Then she said that last part, and it changes to instant regret. She turns to look at him “shit. I’m so sorry that was-“ 

“No…no I deserved that” he interrupts her, “can I have a bite?” 

She eyes him, something between a grin and a smirk on her face. She sticks the spoon into the ice cream and scoops out a tiny pile, moving the spoon to his open mouth. 

“I’m sorry Lex he says mouth full of ice cream

He looks at the ground, he’s picking at his nails. I can see the inner struggle he’s having and it breaks my heart, I have no idea how to help. I watch as his mind tries to find the words he wants to say. I go to open my mouth, but he stops me “I am really sorry” he says again 

“What happened today?” I ask him setting the ice cream on the table and turning to face him 

“I was looking for…fuck…I was looking for some coke. I thought I had some left. I am so sorry. I didn’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. Rehab didn’t do shit” he’s talking fast and I’m trying to keep up. 

He tells me about George, how they were doing just enough to get by.  Nicole helped them not get caught. He doesn’t know how George was able to get the contraband in, but he did. They exchanged information, and he was helping Frankie. He wasn’t doing as much as he used to, which I guess is good, he thought he had some left.  A small tin can was what he was looking for, he was terrified that I found it when we were unpacking. 

“How many days has it been?” I ask 

“I don’t know, maybe five days?” He doesn’t sound very positive 

“Maybe five days? How many days Frankie?” 

“Three…it’s been three days and I am going crazy” he says ‘then we almost kissed and I panicked and I was on edge and just needed a hit’ he thinks to himself 

“ok” she says and stands up. 

“Wait where are you going?” He asks, panic setting in 

He’s worried that she is going to get his bag, she’s gonna ask him to leave. This is too much, this isn’t what she signed up for. She’s given up on him. His head falls back, he wants this couch to eat him alive. He wanted to disappear before and that feeling is ten times worse, now that she knows his secret. 

She comes back a large poster in her hand, the other has a sharpie and stickers. She sits it on the table and sits on the floor next to Frankie. He watches as she makes little boxes, writing dates, making a calendar. Her tongue peeks out of her tongue as she concentrates on the task at hand. He leans forwards, and continues to watch over her shoulder. She looks up at him, “ok did you use today?”

He shakes his head no “I couldn’t find it”

“right..” she puts a little star sticker on today's date “and you said three days since the last time”

He nods. She puts a sticker on the past three days

“What are you doing?” He asks 

That was a great question. What was I doing? This idea sounded crazy in my head, even more crazy as I explained to Frankie. It would be like a reward chart.  Something like when you were a kid and had chores, you’d get a sticker for each thing completed. The more stickers you get a reward. The more I say this, and look at his face of confusion the more dumb this idea sounded. He isn’t a kid, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. 

“This is stupid, just forget it.” I sigh pushing the stuff away from me

His large hands stop the poster from moving, he brings it closer. 

“What is my reward?” He asks curiously 

“Uhm…what do you want?” 

“Pancakes…” he says

”Pancakes? Really?” and he nods “ok how about we start with a week, you make it a week, I’ll make you pancakes” 

“With sprinkles?” His boyish smile is back, his eyes wide and I have a little hope that this stupid, wacky, insane idea might work

I smile and nod at him. I move to sit next to him on the couch, “I’ll have to go buy some. But sure, you can have sprinkles” 

“Hey Lexi, one more thing?” He asks “Can we get some helicopter stickers?”

I smile and cup his cheek, my thumb gently brushing the trimmed beard, “yes Franklin. We can get some helicopter stickers” 

ANN: A huge shout out to @musings-of-a-rose for helping me with this and giving me confidence to post this in first person. I am still terrified of it. @theewokingdead and @heythere-mel for listening to my random ass ideas at all hours. I love each and every one of you.



Looking for more of my fics check out my masterlist. And check out other writers at @littlemisspascal and their library for all Pedro Characters



Just A Dream Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

[shock]

right now my biggest brain problems related to my top surgery are:

1. what if I die while under bro (had this fear right as soon as they started putting me under for my hysterectomy) but I've been combating it by thinking about how legendary it was to have the first thing I post after be a pic of me in the hospital saying I Lived Bitch

2. What if my recovery goes wrong and I have to be out of work longer than two weeks (scary because after that I won't have any PTO!!!)

3. What if they forget to let me keep my nipples and they're gone forever 😭😭😭

4. I've been preparing a lot mentally and I know I've wanted this since before I even knew I was Trans but I'm so scared about the post-surgery ugliness like ugly isn't quite the right word because idgaf about like the conventional definition of that word but I think maybe it's going to be really hard to go from this thing I've been dealing with that my mind has reduced to a general daily nuisance to what I KNOW will longterm be the best thing ever short of not having my endo uterus trying to kill me on the daily but just thinking about the drains and not being able to do anything independently and all the gross body stuff makes me so FREAKED

[massivedrickhead]

Can you do 19 please? 🥹

I sure can!

19. “Stop fighting it.  You need sleep.”

Prompt taken from here

Read on AO3

-

Chloe hadn’t felt right about leaving Beca home alone so soon after getting back from the hospital, but Beca insisted she’d be fine and that Chloe should go to work.

Chloe didn’t want to, but she also knew she couldn’t really ask for any more time off. They’d been understanding to an extent, but it had been weeks now, and Chloe had long run out of PTO and favours she could ask.

What should have been a simple appendectomy had resulted in complications and even a follow-up surgery.

And Beca was on the mend now, finally allowed to recover at home, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still in a lot of pain.

“I’ll be fine,” Beca said, wincing as she lowered herself to the couch, one hand pressed against her side. “All I’ll be doing is sitting on the couch and watching TV. I won’t even open my laptop if that’ll make you feel better.”

“What if you need something? What if you can’t get to the bathroom, or you trip, or-”

“Chloe, I’m okay,” Beca said. “I don’t want to be the reason you get fired. If something happens, I’ll call you.”

Chloe huffed, but Beca didn’t cave.

“Fine,” Chloe said. “But you need to make sure you eat something. You can’t have your pain meds on an empty stomach. There are leftovers in the fridge, you just need to heat them up.”

“Go before you’re late,” Beca said, trying to hide the discomfort from her face as she adjusted her position on the couch.

After a quick kiss goodbye, Chloe left for work.

She’d messaged Beca periodically throughout the day and received a response each time, but it didn’t ease the knot of worry from her stomach. 

When she finally got home that night, she practically sprinted through the door and to the living room.

The sun had set, but it seemed that Beca hadn’t gotten up to switch on the light.

The knot of worry in Chloe’s stomach turned into panic very quickly.

“Bec?”

Chloe switched on the light. Beca was in the exact same place she’d left her.

In fact, it looked like she hadn’t moved at all.

“Beca?” 

Chloe moved quickly until she was kneeling down beside the couch.

Beca was pale, a sheen of sweat on her forehead, her fists gripping the sofa so tightly that her knuckles had gone white.

“Baby, what happened?”

“Nothing,” Beca said, her jaw clenched. “It just hurts. Can you… I need the bathroom, can you help me up?”

Chloe did, and she half-carried Beca to the bathroom.

“Do we need to go to the hospital?” Chloe asked, leaning against the closed bathroom door, waiting for Beca to finish.

“No,” was Beca’s response.

“You shouldn’t be in this much pain,” Chloe said. “Maybe your meds aren’t working, or maybe-”

“I didn’t take them,” Beca said, cutting her off. 

Chloe pulled open the door at the sound of the toilet flushing.

“What do you mean you didn’t take them?”

Beca washed her hands and moved past Chloe to return to the couch.

“Beca, we need to talk about this,” Chloe said. “You’re in pain - so much pain that you couldn’t get off the couch - you need to take your meds. If for nothing else then at least so you can sleep. The doctor said you need rest.”

“I don’t like how they make me feel,” Beca said, wincing again as she sat on the couch. 

“Is it worse than the pain you’re in right now?” Chloe asked.

Beca sighed and shook her head. “I thought I could start at least reducing the dose, but by the time I really needed them, I couldn’t get off the couch to get them.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because you’ve missed enough work because of me,” Beca said. “And I thought, well, if I can’t get them then I can’t take them. I thought the pain would pass eventually.”

“Beca, you got out of surgery a week ago,” Chloe said. “We’ve been home from the hospital for two days, now is not the time to go cold turkey on your pain meds. You need to give your body a chance to heal first, and you need to get some rest. The doctor wouldn’t have prescribed them if he didn’t think you’d need them.”

“I get all… dizzy and confused,” Beca said. “They make my head hurt and I feel like I can’t think straight.”

“It isn’t forever, Bec,” Chloe said. “It’s just until you’re better. You can’t possibly get any sleep when you’re in this much pain, and you need to sleep in order to heal.”

Beca sighed. “Fine,” she said. “But only for a few more days, and then I want to start reducing them.”

Chloe felt her shoulders relax, and she kissed the side of her head. “I’ll call your doctor and talk to him about it,” Chloe said. “Did you eat today?”

Beca bit her lip and gave a guilty shake of the head.

“Bec, you’re not making it any easier for me to leave you on your own, you know that right?”

“I’m sorry,” Beca said. “I just really wasn’t hungry. I promise I’ll do better tomorrow.”

“I’m gonna make you something,” Chloe said. “And you’re going to eat it, and take your meds, and go to sleep like a good patient, okay?”

Beca couldn’t help but smirk. “Yes doctor,” she said.

“Hmm, you can look at me like that all you want,” Chloe said, “but tomorrow you’re getting a babysitter.”

Once they had eaten and Beca had taken her meds, Chloe helped her back to their room and got her settled in bed.

“Will you stay?” Beca asked. 

“Of course,” Chloe said, kissing the top of her head.

She turned on the TV because she knew background noise helped Beca settle, and climbed onto the bed beside her.

She ran her hands through Beca’s hair, and watched as her blinks got slower. It seemed to take more and more effort for her to pull her eyes open, and at one point she let out a soft groan, her eyebrows furrowing as the dizziness started to kick in.

“I know you don’t like it,” Chloe said. “I’m sorry that you’re having to go through all this.”

Beca groaned again and reached for Chloe’s free hand, gripping it tightly to try and ground herself against the sudden vertigo she was feeling.

“Stop fighting it,” Chloe said, her thumb rubbing across Beca’s knuckles, as her other hand continued to play with her hair. “You need to sleep, baby. Close your eyes.”

“I hate this,” Beca mumbled, finally letting her eyes shut, her brows pulling together as she did.

“I know,” Chloe said.

Eventually, the tension left Beca’s body, and her face relaxed, but Chloe didn’t move from her spot, and she wouldn’t for the rest of the night.

Beca had asked her to stay, so that’s what she’d do.

[lovesosweeet]

Hmm I would die over an angsty/fluff Calum (or Mikey) piece? Like you had had an argument before he left for press or tour, and you were meant to go visit him but he didn’t know for sure if you still would. But you do and it’s fluffy at the end? I know that’s very detailed haha, sorry! But something along those lines would be amazing! Xx

a/n: this request is literally from 2018 but i need a quick break from writing BLU soooo here it is. also please request things i love requests <3 i promise i won't wait 5 years to write it. this lowkey lines up a little with where we are with BLU but i did my best to make them feel different!!

It'd been three days since you and Calum fought. You both thought that it was a stupid fight over something dumb, in hindsight. You'd gone to a party over the weekend with your friends. Calum didn't come since he's on tour. An ex of yours ended up being at the same party, and since you didn't talk, you didn't mention it to Calum.

Pictures ended up on social media, Calum somehow saw them, despite not being a big social media guy. He wasn't really mad at you, just upset that you didn't tell him that you'd been in the same setting as an ex who had been so horrible to you. It wasn't jealousy, but he knows that you'd have been upset if he was spotted with an ex and he didn't tell you.

The fight snowballed, as it tends to with you two. You're both avoidant and don't always bring up the small things that bother you that the other does, but as soon as you let one thing come out, the rest come tumbling down, and then you'd both started rehashing your annoyances from the past several months.

Both of you regret letting the heat of the moment lead to you saying nasty things you didn't mean, but neither of you has apologized.

You've had three days of radio silence.

He left for tour two months ago, and you were supposed to go visit him this weekend and join the band for a week. You'd joined for the first few shows and he had come home for a few days during a break, but otherwise, it's just been phone calls, Facetimes, and text messages. You miss him. Your life has largely been the same as normal.

Work. Home. Walk Duke. Dinner. Bed. Repeat.

Calum has had the luxury of being exceptionally busy and spending time with his best friends, so while he misses you, he has far more to occupy his brain than just his feelings.

Your life has felt far emptier with him gone, and you had been looking forward to this trip, but then you weren't sure if you should go, given that you've been fighting and you think that he's upset with you still.

He's not, but he also thinks you're mad at him. It's a disconnect, and neither of you had the guts to try to remedy things.

You'd swallowed your pride, though, and boarded the flight to London without talking to him to confirm you're still welcome. He hoped you were still coming, but he didn't have the heart to ask, too scared to receive more radio silence or worse, a 'no.'

When you landed, you had planned on taking the underground to the hotel and trying to talk to Calum there, but when you got your bag from baggage claim and turned to try to find the way to the trains, a familiar face was waiting for you. Mali.

"I knew you'd come!" She cheers when you reach her, pulling you into a hug. "Here, let me get your bag."

"Mali, you didn't have to pick me up," you say, hesitantly handing her your suitcase. You could manage, but she's insistent.

"Well, I know Cal would've if he wasn't so scared to face you," she laughs. "He wasn't sure if you'd come, but I knew you wouldn't waste your plane ticket like that."

It was true. You didn't want to waste the $700 you'd spent on plane tickets or the PTO you'd used to join the tour for the week. Plus, London was one of your favorite cities. If Calum didn't want to see you, you had plenty of places to visit and restaurants to eat at.

"Well, I'm here," you say nervously.

Mali loops her arm through yours and starts walking, so you follow suit and let her guide you. "We have a car out front."

You exit the airport and find the black SUV out front, the trunk (boot) opened for your stuff already. Once you've helped Mali hoist your bag into the back, you join her in the back seat for the drive to the hotel. It's a pretty short drive, but the whole time you're nervous about facing your boyfriend.

"He's looking forward to seeing you, even if he hasn't said it," Mali mentions, as if she can sense your nerves. To be fair, she probably can, since you're picking at your nail polish that you'd just done on the plane, ruining the painstaking work you'd put in.

"I don't know, he got pretty upset the last time we spoke." Your voice is small, uncertain. It's weird. You know things are fine, but it sucks when you don't get an apology. Although, you're just as at fault as he is in this scenario.

She laughs. "Y/n, he's been beside himself since that conversation. He doesn't know if you're still mad and he didn't know how to make the situation better over text."

"He could've called," you mumble, but you felt the same. Making up is hard to do face to face, it's even harder over the phone or over text.

Mali does her best to reassure you that everything is fine for the rest of the car ride, but she fills you in on her plans for the day and says to text her if you need something to do. When you get to the hotel, she grabs your suitcase for you again and leads you inside, taking you straight to the elevator.

She guides you to a room and gives you a hug. "I'm four rooms down on the left if you need me, but I'll be heading out soon to meet up with some friends."

Then you're alone.

You take a deep breath and knock on the door.

You wait... and then nothing.

Maybe he didn't hear?

You knock again, a bit harder and a few more raps than before.

"I put the do not disturb hanger on, and I didn't order any room service, can you please—"

Calum's voice is faint at first and grows in clarity as he gets closer to the door, but he stops talking when he opens the door to find his favorite person in the entire world waiting for him.

"Y/n," he breathes. He looks relieved. He doesn't want to jump to conclusions and think that he's happy to see you, but he's at least happy that you're here and he can speak to you about the fight, face to face.

You then speak simultaneously.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—" you say.

"I'm an idiot, and I'm s—" he says.

You both laugh.

"You're not an idiot," you tell him. "I'm sorry, for all of it."

Calum nods. "I'm sorry too. I overreacted, and then I just couldn't stop myself from bringing all the other stuff up."

"No, I know. Me too."

"Maybe we should start talking about things as they come up, instead of leaving it all to come out at once."

You nod in agreement, chuckling. "Yeah, that would be good."

He smiles at you, and you both start to feel better about the whole thing. "We're good?" He asks.

Then you smile. "Yes, we're good."

That's all it takes for him to step closer to you and press his lips to yours, his hands cupping your cheeks. All of your worries melt away and you're both just happy to be together again with the argument resolved. The time apart didn't matter, and the time spent not speaking didn't either. You're both here, together, in a place that both of you love.

"Here, let's get your stuff in and then we can go explore?" Calum asks when he pulls away.

"God, yes, I need a coffee, pronto."

After you've freshened up and changed out of your plane outfit, you can Cal head out to explore London. You remember that you'd booked a timeslot at the Eye when you booked your flights and didn't cancel it when you'd had the fight. You have a couple of hours before you need to be there, so Calum takes you to visit the neighborhood they'd lived in before they toured with One Direction.

There's not a lot to see. It's a pretty residential area, and then he takes you to Portobello Road for the market. You take turns picking out different pastries and breads from vendors, not forgetting to stop for coffee at a cute shop while you browse.

"What do you think?" He asks, holding up a vintage Harley Davidson t-shirt at one of the clothing stalls.

"I think I'd steal it from you and you wouldn't get to wear it because it would always be dirty."

Calum grins, chuckling. "How about I just buy it for you?"

"No, babe, it's fine, I can buy it," you say, holding your hands out to take the shirt from him, but he won't listen. He walks up to the vendor and hands over his card, not even checking the price tag.

"See, now I bought it, so I have to be able to wear it at least once."

Ah, you think. It was a bartering tactic.

"But it's still yours!" He adds.

You roll your eyes, but accept that he will be able to wear it sometimes. You'd never deny him access to your wardrobe, since you also want access to his. You both love sharing your clothes. You've both got an affinity for vintage t-shirts, hoodies, and jackets. Calum steals your vintage Levi's jacket at least once a week when he's at home.

"Wanna head down to the Eye now?" There's still an hour before your time slot, but between the travel time and wanting to soak in the scenery while you get there.

Calum pulls you closer and hangs his arm around your shoulders, agreeing to start walking. "I'm glad you're here, love."

"I missed you," you confess.

"I missed you way more, I promise." He kisses your temple while you walk. He stops when he sees a cool mural and demands you take outfit pictures in front of it.

He's your hype man as you pose, telling you how cute you look and being a creative director at the same time, helping you look like you'd want to in the photos. He knows you inside and out, and he knows exactly which photos you won't like before you even look at them. You make him take selfies with you too, kissing his cheek in some, him kissing yours, actually kissing, and lots of silly faces.

Your fight is distant, and all is well.

my masterlist :)

[xoxoemynn]

Alluded to this post yesterday. Just some releasing into the void/explanation for potential quietness, cw: talk of terminal illnesses

In December 2021 my Aunt B lost a nearly 10 year battle with Alzheimer's.

Right around that same time my Aunt M was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

My Aunt M is one of the kindest people I know. She's also aggressively positive and leans heavily on her faith, so it can be difficult to get an accurate update on how she's doing.

However, it became clear in the past two weeks she has taken a turn for the worse. It's not at the point where the end is imminent, but the optimism for having more years with her is greatly diminished. She won't beat the cancer; it's just a question of how much longer her body can hold out.

My dad wanted to visit her before she got worse, so he went to see her this past weekend. I was his chauffeur to/from the train station. He came back looking very shaken. I don't think he was expecting her to be as weak as she was.

Last night Aunt M was admitted to the hospital with an infection. We don't have much in the way of updates yet.

While he was gone, I was also going back and forth to my mom's. She has a number of physical ailments herself, including some daily care she can't tend to herself. It took a lot of coordination/trust for her to be able to be without my dad for a few days and for me to take care of her.

To top it off, Aunt B's widower, who was diagnosed with lung cancer back in 2003 and given a year to live but managed to keep on kicking, opted in the past week to stop chemo and enter palliative care.

Flip side, my 104 year old great aunt is still going strong and told my 76 year old dad he looks very young. She had TMNT on while my dad visited her.

All this is to say, it was a very heavy weekend. I was so busy for most of it that it didn't really hit me until Monday when things calmed down and now I've just walking around in a cloud of sadness. To be clear, I was never super close with my aunts/uncles, although, like I said, my Aunt M is just outrageously kind and her diagnosis was heartbreaking. But I especially feel horrible for my dad, who's probably losing both of his younger sisters in a span of a few years. I'm thinking a lot about my own parents' mortality and what that means and how we'll take care of them once one of them goes. I'm extremely aware there's not really much that can be done, other than to make sure everyone knows they're loved and provide as much comfort as we can. There just seems to be this cloud of illness and death and sadness hanging over my family. It's.......heavy.

I took a last minute PTO today to decompress a bit, and I do overall feel like more of a human. But if I'm quieter in the coming [insert duration of time here], that's why. The sadness just feels inescapable right now.

[tinyboxxtink]

I really hate putting this out there especially when I've been gone so long, but things have been so difficult lately health wise and money wise. I recently went into the hospital with blood clots on my lungs caused by my birth control. SERIOUSLY. I knew there was like a 1% chance of it happening but you never think it will be you.

Anyway due to that I'll be in the hospital for a few days/weeks (god I hope NOT, probably days.) And I have had to take off work in the meantime for about two weeks now because of my declining health. And I get paid hourly so no PTO or sick days. Annnnddd now I got hospital bills.... fuck why did that just dawn on me?

If you know me, and my writing, if you could help me out by just giving a dollar, it would be much appreciated. You can even send me a request and I'll fulfill it, I'll have nothing but time now to write.

Thank you guys in advance, I love you all so much!