#so idk ill prob try again later

[todayisafridaynight]

Oh yeah also to be exact for stream purposes, average playtime from all 60 reviews is 10-12 hours, but total range is 8-15, double for a 100% playthrough. You do have to progress in the side content to progress in the main story (complete x missions/get x points/get to x rank type of deal), and you'll probably want to progress in the side content to level up since it's money-based and that's the fastest way to make money. I'm pretty sure the variance comes from getting sucked into the side content (probably not likely for your playstyle) or having trouble with the bosses at a lower level (they're apparently pretty hard this time).

It also looks like the Infinite Wealth demo is split into two (an adventure mode with the extra cutscenes and another one that's basically the demo we've seen around). Adventure mode Allegedly doesn't have proper saves at the time of writing (this was an annoyance for one reviewer so I assume it's long enough to warrant that), so it's worth taking that into account too. Anyway that's about it lol don't quote me on any of this because my brain just shut off after a certain point <3

OK BET TYSM CHAMP YOURE A LIFESAVER soooooo doing Quick Maths in my brain i might divide the stream up in two if i start playing at 4:30PM and i plan to marathon it.

ill take a break 3:45 - 5:45 saturday morning since that's a part of my regular routine and ill feel weird if i dip on it. I Dont Need Sleep but god forbid i skip out on all That apparently. plus it's a good break period to get exercise in and move around LMAO

going from 4:30PM -> 3:45AM's like.....10~11 hours... so that's about halfway through the game if i get entranced by side content... if we do somehow finish it all in one shot then we can just do the IW stuff after my routine.. epic.. it prob wont be any longer than an hour if that so stream- AUSPICIOUSLY THINKING- should wrap up around 7~9AM saturday.

[sadie-bug345]

greasers when they’re sick

i myself have been deathly ill for the past week so whilst i am bedridden i’m writing this🤡🙆‍♀️🤩 ANYWAYS LETS GO

ponyboy:

hates missing school solely cause my guy despises talking to teachers abt what he missed

also cause he thinks he gets super behind when guy just skipped one day of school😭

probably holes himself up in his and sodas room and when soda comes in to check on him after work it’s like PITCH black and pony is just sitting in a pile of tissues

”what do YOU want?” says pony with a voice similar to kermit the frog cause bros nose is SO stuffed up

and soda just assumes pony is in one of his moody, poetry reciting moods again and slowly exits the room, leaving only a baloney sandwich in his wake💀🤡😭

johnny:

def the type to not accept help

like he would go to school sick and the second someone brings up how his voice is screwed up he’s like 😐”what’re you sayin bout me?”

if the gang does quarantine him to a room he’d def just be able to entertain himself and prob come up with his own secret language and fictional multiverse or smth

idk he just gives the type to be fully okay with being alone for a bit but the meds he’s on make him all wacky too so it’s an interesting mix for sure

sodapop:

i’m sorry this guy has the most nastiest cough 😭

idc if he doesn’t smoke a lot he just got those mucusy coughs

other than that everyone’s having a good time, making jokes and feeling good and then soda pauses his laughter and unleashes the most rattley cough and then everyone just goes quiet and he just looks like 😃

definitely unfazed by sickness in general

until one day my guy just has the worst time and breaks downnnn🥰

we’ve all been there too esp when you’re sick and shit just goes downhill and everything sucks and you hate everything and everyone

darry:

now johnny doesn’t accept help but that’s NOTHING compared to darry

he has peak older-sibling syndrome and is just used to only helping other people

so when those people that he takes care of flip the script, my guy is just weirded outtt

like he def appreciates two trying to make him soup but he just doesn’t know how to react

goes lowk crazy with not being able to work or straighten up the house just cause he always feels like he’s gotta do SOMETHING productive with his time

dally:

i’m sorry but guy is def the type to go to school FULLY sick and either not say a word about it or complain like a lil bitch the whole time

also he totally smokes while he has a cough like soda which is so unhealthy i can’t even😭

just overall his habits and life doesn’t get upended by “some fuckass cold” (his words, not mine)

like bro please you just gotta rest sometimes😭

the gang is able to get him to stay at the curtis’ couch one day and bro just WIPES OUT

istg he’s out for like 15 hours straight in the full daytime and everyone is scared to walk past in case they wake him up

but dally is a crazy heavy sleeper so he actually gets a lot better after calming down for once🥰

two-bit:

honestly stays home from school like a normal person

except bro gets one cold and then just doesn’t show up to school for like two weeks😭

and it’s not cause he’s a wimp it’s just cause guy finds an excuse to skip out for a so called “vacation” and he rolls with it

and then he’ll just spawn back in on campus like a month later like nothing happened and everyone just expected two to take a dare too far and end up in the hospital🤡

steve:

CANT STOP WONT STOP

bro just pushes thru the pain😭

he probably takes way too much of the recommended dose of general meds (don’t do this please🧍‍♀️)

and then goes all loopy for hours straight

and people are kinda sus about it but honestly it’s steve so who is really all that surprised

LMAO THAT SOUNDS MEAN SORRY STEVE

ANYWAYSSSS i think imma post a romantic kinda sick reader x greaser thing so that’ll hopefully come out soon while im still coughing my lungs out🫶

[coastxlwaters]

What happened to ur thumb?!

So, this happened yesterday

0. I had a low level of light headedness and a stomach ache but I needed to get out to the barn to exercise autumn

1. Autumn wasn’t ridden for 2 days and was energetic

2. My crop and saddle felt off, I later learn they were used and modified slightly without my permission (I’m not mad at whoever did, just confused on why they did it as well have that stuff at the barn)

3. My crop and set being off, shifted my normal no anxiety routine to a “oh god, do I need to check Autumn’s back and legs for injuries?” Routine.

4. My legs were awkward trying to reposition correctly, and since autumn is used to me being a quiet and relaxed rider and caretaker that probably ticked her off, her ears were pinned back but flopping, no fucking idea what that means but I have seem some horses do it when anxious or stressed, but idk

5. The crop kept hitting the wrong place on the shoulder, I hound be able to tap once and she goes, and since I’m a rated-shows rider I can’t look down as it’s frowned upon, and have to keep my head up until the lesson or atleast course is over. So I wasn’t able to see what the difference was other than the slightly off feeling.

6. Ticked her off more that I continued to try to use the crop. MY fault, I have no fucking idea what I was doing there other than me failing to follow proper barn rules.

7. We start the course and I she goes speed demon and I could tell she was abt to do SMTH, whether it was a buck or rear I honestly don’t know nor want to find out. I just cut off and out of the course halfway through

8. I got called a coward, (JOKINGLY) so I laugh and say “fuck you than, let’s see what shit I can do now that her energy is out” and get back on.

9. Same thing as 7 but this time I don’t cut off the course and the literal next jump she bucks

10. I land HARD on her neck, I really need to check it out but my friend said she looks fine for now.

11. My hand obviously hits her neck first, my thumb taking the most damage

12. I stayed on, THANKFULLY, cause if I fell off I have no fucking idea what would have happened

13. The rest is kinda like, foggy ig, I remeber making my usual “it can’t be to bad, I lived!” And then my thumb started hurting. At first thought it was SMTH I could ride off. I was wrong and for the next 15 mins I was a mess from it, both being my birthday and smth bad happening on my birthday for th 3rd time in a row. I get home, see my finger and go “damn I’m overdramatic as hell, it’s only a minor jam”

14. Just ice it and kept it elevated the entire night

(Today)

14. No sleep last night

15. It looks weird so I prob need to get it checked for possible infection

16. I get to the doctors and expect to be laughed at for coming in with a minor jam

17. I get X-rayed cause they wanted to see if it’s fractured, told I did amazing for being actively hurt and staying still and calm during it

18. I get to the actual office, Hear I shattered the tip of my thumb and it will forever be slightly bent, get banned from horse riding for a month, (sucks for them as I won’t listen to that)

19. I pull the cancer joke on @stormbreaker-290 again while walking to the room I’m supposed to go to, since I’m MEAN-

20. I get measured for a 1 finger cast as the injury is not severe in the sense I would need a full handed cast, but apparently shattering your tip of your thumb is relatively severe, since it doesn’t happen often and will leave me with my thumb being bent slightly forever unless I decide to do an overpriced surgery. Spoiler alert, I’m broke. Doenst hurt like what I expected tho, it’s only in that category I think for a longer healing process (I wasn’t listening but it was MENTIONED) and a permanent difference in my thumb even if it’s barely noticeable.

So, yeah it’s not severe in the sense of pain, it might take a bit to heal, I’m gonna take care of autumn still obvi and completely ignore the no-riding rule. I MEAN, ILL ONLY DO WORKOUTS AND NOTHING TO BIG OR SHOW PRACTICES OK?!

It’s also on my left hand, and I’m a boring right handed person so I’m fine lol. Gonna use it to hopefully get out of school obvi, but like yeah

Preppy cast✨

[mutini-ooc]

oooo! i wanna know your theories now - gfrj mod C

oh my god okay im Not That Smart though so im probs gnna be SO off uhhh lemme put a cut rq

this isnt a theory moreso analysis. mod marcy makes me ILL. "i wasnt good enough as a bard" & then dies as BARD OF HEART. destroying the soul of the session & then everyone starts dropping like flies becuase THEY ALL SLOWLY LOSE IT. im normal. im ill. im soooooo normal & ill abt this how they cld only fulfill their sburb assigned role after death AFTER . THINKING THEY WERENT GOOD ENOUGH HELLO IM SSOOOOO ILL.

okay now actual theories. i think its super interesint felix is a space player yet they talk. a LOT abt time. like. a lot a lot. ? whats up w that. also i STILL have no clue abt why they switched 2 the whole stagehand thing. v bizarre. v curious. i thiiink it has 2 do w the fucked up creature but after that im lost. horrorterrors??? fuck if i know.

anyways YEAHHH I WAS RIGHT ABT THE SCRATCHING. i KNEW it. im soooo curious 2 see the dancestors(? its not the right term but i dont even have a collective name 4 the original so,,,,) esp bc i rmmbr walten/stagehand mentioning beforus as a way 2 suggest the scrtach. also stagehand mentions "the new cast" & "the next play." so i wld imagine were getting beforan versions of the original cast so YEAHHHHHHHHH RGAGHHHHH IM SO NORMAL. RUAHGHGHH

sad as hell 2 see the better luck next time. god. im so normal. i kinda hope the original cast comes back but ik there isnt much luck of that happening. a fan can dream tho. :C

super interesting that stagehand says walten "exited stage left//" but theres no [JUST] sprite. so walten MIGHT not be dead. & i know that doesnt have 2 do w the scratch physics cuase lamb goes heroic like right after.

im still super curious 2 see what the fuck is possessing(???? stagehand didnt make a unique intro + js edited felix' + felix left when stagehand showed up + stagehand has space powers so i thiiiink its possession. smth along those lines @ least.) felix bc theyre clearly still alive. im super curious 2 know if itll ever leave & felix will have 2 deal with. uh. the Consequences of the first session.

what the Fuck was the thing in the sky bandit bandit what was that.

also WHAT HAPPENED 2 BANDIT. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. HELLO. WAS THAT THE SCRATCH??? i doubt it cuase the scratch construct shows up LATER. so. ? whats up w that one.

again. what is UP with stagehand/felix & walten they clearly have something similar especially since SUPER SEUPER early psots like the FIRST walten posts are mixed w felix. its bizarre i cant make heads or tails of it str8 up but im presuming thats getting answered in the next sesh. please tell me if it was said in the 1st one & i missed it.

anyways thats it idk how much or if any of it is accurate. @ all. i havent been keeping up w the middle parts of the blog super closely so i might need 2 go thru the archive. idk how relevant most of itll be 2 the bef session tho but im gnna try 2 read more of it b4 stagehand finishes the new play & caste.

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: mental illness, panic attacks

This is Dr. M., my Therapist. You have met her once before in my story. She helped me to control my panic attacks and practiced daily with me relaxation techniques. This really helped me after a while.

But now it was time for me, to use Dr M.’s help again. This time, it wasn’t panic attacks. It was rather.... stress & anxiety, that made my everyday life tough. I was afraid to leave the house alone.

Two days ago, I was already here. She prescribed me drugs, antidepressants, that I can continue to take during pregnancy. Weeks before, I attended those therapeutic group sessions she led. I haven’t been there often, but she asked me about Daniel there. She saw I wasn't well. And that's exactly the topic she first discussed with me today. She wanted to get an idea of my current situation and she was also worried about Daniel. She thought Daniel was going through something similar to me. Just he did not have panic attacks, but she was sure, he also struggled to process this thing .The attack on the two of us and the consequences of it. However, I also told her everything that had happened since Daniel left. Drugs, Adam & Ana, including N. & me.

Dr. M.: I'm glad you got confidence in me. I remember well how.... difficult certain topics for you were to address. That guy Adam, how do you handle what happened between you and him?

Me: Actually, nothing happened. And I don’t think he really wanted to hurt me. He had other intentions. It was about my sister.

Dr. M.: I see it a little differently. No matter what his intentions were or what his motive was, what he did is definitely wrong.

Me: Yes, I agree! It was wrong and made me angry. But-... ugh, I don't want to discuss about that. I get a headache from this subject.... No joke, my brain hurts rn.

Dr. M.: Here, a glass of water. You need to stay hydrated..... Better?....Fine. Explain please. What made you so angry about Adam?

Me: Um... what he did! To me.... Why does this keep happening to me?? 😫 It makes me so sick!😡 ... Agh, anyway. Pls let's change the topic.

Dr. M.: It's okay. But you did well! You finally showed me your anger and let it out... Oh, but you didn’t have a panic attack after that, right?

Me: No! I had sex 3 weeks later and well, I’m pregnant. Looks like sex isn’t a prob for me anymore.🤷‍♀️But even before that, it worked quite well between Daniel & me as far as this is concerned. You were right! Daniel wasn’t the trigger for my panic.

Dr. M.: He felt so awful about that. He blamed himself. But I’m glad this at least went well for you two.

Me: I was dreaming about him.... Again. It felt so real... I still feel like he was really with me last night. I was in our apartment. I felt like we were still together. I cleaned up, did our laundry and at night, he really came to me in my dreams... I just want to know where he is?.. Why did he leave me? And if he comes back?

Dr. M.: Let’s say Daniel comes back. What could your life together look like? Some things have changed. You are pregnant and Daniel’s situation or condition may have changed too? Could you imagine continuing your marriage with him?

Me: For him, I would try. I would also forgive him, no matter what he did. But how can I be sure he won’t leave me again?

Dr. M.: Exactly!..... You also have to be aware that you are pregnant. But do you think Daniel would be able to help you with your Baby?

Me: Um... Idk? It's not his Baby. I'm not sure if he can deal with that? But he'd help me, I know that. However, all of this is more of a wishful thinking of mine and not reality. So... I’m going to file for divorce tomorrow.

Dr. M.: That sounds reasonable. You should definitely do this step, for yourself! One of you two has to take the first step towards enlightenment, which doesn’t mean, that it really has to come to a separation in the end. My personal opinion.... Daniel had enough time. It's time to act now!

Me: Almost 3 Months.... Nevertheless, I think I made too hasty decisions and let myself be misled by false facts.... And Nico, whenever he shows up in my life, it gets complicated.

Dr. M. : Tell me more about him. How did you feel when you saw him again after a long time?

Me:...... (Gosh!🤦‍♀️) ... Ahhmm.... yea. It was okay. Nothing special. 🤥

Dr. M.: 🤨...  I can tell when you're fibbing.😉 But, let's try it this way! Ask me a personal question that interests you. If I answer, you will also answer my question about Nico.

Me: Hehe...Ok! Ahm??? Do you have kids  and are you married?

Dr. M.: No, I don’t have kids, my patients are my kids. But yes, I’ve actually been married recently.

Me: OH, congratulations.

Dr. M.: Thanks! You even met him. He examined you at the clinic when we were planning to include you in the study.

Me: No! That Doc is your husband??.. Cool! He's really nice, Dr. M. Cute. 😉

Dr. M.: Thank you. I'll tell him later. He will surely be pleased about it. 😄... But now back to you, A. How was it for you to see Nico again.

Me: My cheeks felt burning hot. I was beaming & smiling all over my face. 🤦‍♀️🥰.... Agh yea, I was so happy. Even though I was totally nervous and excited, it felt like he's always with me. And I think he felt the same. He kept telling me I was pretty and... hot. But he didn’t kiss me .He.... had a fiancé. He didn’t want to cheat on her, but I think if I told him I wanted him, he wouldn’t have said no. He made hints in that direction, but I was disappointed. Agh, honestly? I knew he was in a relationship. I wasn’t quite sure, but-... yea. I got involved with him anyway. I just can’t say no to him. I wanted him and... just a day later, I got him.

Dr. M.: It is right to say it openly. Feelings of attraction feel strong. Certain factors can amplify all this, making it even more difficult to ignore those feelings. But how did you and he decide to continue?

Me: We talked a lot, especially about the past. There were some misunderstandings that Nico and I were able to resolve. The present is more the problem I think, his fiancée and of course Daniel.

Dr. M.: Would he accompany you here? Like Daniel did... I’m trying to help you. I think Nico has a strong, very strong influence on you. You told me about him before, and.....well! It would be good for you, but also for him, if you come here together. You think he’d be willing to talk to me?

Me: Rn, I'm not really sure?... But Nico has surprised me in recent weeks, in many ways... I’ll see him soon anyway. He’ll accompany me to my prenatal check-up. So yea, I'm gonna talk to him.

Dr. M.: I’m glad to hear he’s accompanying you.... Fine, A.! And please! Please take your pills regularly! Or do I really have to call you here every other day?

Me: No! Pls don't!... I’ll take care of myself, I promise.

Dr. M.: That's just what I was hoping to hear. All right! Then.... See you next week, I’d say.

Me: Sure!...Ok thanks, see you next week Dr. M.

Previous/Next

[sleepyphoen1x]

The parrarel between Ariana Dumbledore and Leta Lestrange..

Hello its ya boy Sleepy with another silly post (this souns so weird i swear ill never talk like this again)

So i have been rewatching COG today whike drawing and i noticed the simularity of Ariana and Leta i am sure someone already did this but who cares

So anyways lets start this:

So at the first you may or may not think theres so possible way of these two very inportant characters could possibly be somehow simular right? Well lets look intro it from the begining

Botb of them were pretty Shy and Introverted and "not fitting in" (depens how you view Ariana before the attact)

Both of those characters have been the victims of Bullying, Ariana of couse being victim of being beaten up by 3 muggle boys whitch resulted of her having trauma and developed obcuriose whitch later killed her mother and was rumored to be a Squib (depens on how you wiew squibs and bullying from my POV this counts as some type of Bullying right? Honestly its prob cause i am too oversensitive honestly) and Leta ofc being bullied in Hogwarts,

Both of them developed close friendships, Ariana with Aberforth and Kendra (does family count? Yeah idk) and Leta with Newt. Whitch accepted them for who they are cause all these pookies did not have any other option (/j Newt cared about Leta (you coul've never met a monster you coudnt love.") Aberforth and Kendra about Ariana.

And both of those characters died by getting killed by Grindelwald to protect someone, Ariana wanting to stop the 3 duel fight to stop and Leta sacrisifing herself to destroy skull-hookah. In whitch both of these acts somehowly helped the world to defeat Grindelwald.

And yeah thats done? I cant think of any other simularilities expect that i both love them so so much, i know its not "much" the same things but j think its cool that two different characters have kinda simular and very tragic life yeg still trying their best <33

Let me know if i should continue making posts like these cause i genuently enjoy making them so so much.

[sparrowinkk]

ask game thingy: 1, 3, 12, 28, and 38!!

ooo ty for the ask!

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

hmm id have to say:

I moved to Scotland from the US when i was 10. This has resulted in me having a bit of a identiy crisis lmao

Probs my friend group in high school. We were the gay weirdos and if I had not been able to find a group like that, idek where I'd be

horse games! Ive played alot of horse games growing up and they helped me realise that that was what i wanted to do with my life :3 (get a career in horses)

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

Twilight. Ive seen it a billion times, i could a watch it a billion more

Avatar (blue people). Its just the world building man THE WORLD BUILDING

LOTR triology. Somehow, put all 3 extenaditions (wow i cant spell) editions onto 1 cd and id be set.

12. what’s some good advice you want to share?

oooo this is hard. This is kinda specific, but if your coming out of high school and feel the need to go to school or figure all your shit out immediately, its okay if you cant or dont want to. Its okay if you have no fuckin idea where life is gonna lead you. You will figure it out, just give yourself time.

When i left, i had no idea what to do with myself and i couldnt afford school. 1 year later, i realised theres college for horse stuff! I'm so glad i couldnt get into uni cause i would have ended up in a course that i would have hated. High school was rough, i would not have been happy in uni at the time.

28. do you collect anything?

I try not to clutter my space to much or just have lots of stuff, buttttt i like to collect random bits of paper and put them into my journal! Receipts, tickets, cards, random stickers, something i found on the floor, that shit is goin in there!

38.fave song at the moment?

ah im so glad you asked this question. I'm the kind of autistic where ill listen to the same song over and over and over and during all of the booping yesterday i listened to this all day:

I accidentally found it, idk what its from. But my brain went 'yep, this is it.'

ty again for the ask!! <333

[daftpuppy]

hey so im new to the fandom cause i realized i am into it.. May i ask , if its normal to just have a default kink? I vividly remember watching videos about this before I was conscious, and id grind.. I, personally dont enjoy it, cause i find it weird, and a lot does too... im just turned on by it and idk why.. 😭😭😭

im going to be straight with you, I def not the best person to ask this question to at all! Hell i would 100% recommend asking anyone else.

i myself am still rather 'new' to the kink community as an whole (technically ive been doing this shit for years but im super on and off with it so i dont really count it)

but ill try to give some sort of answer (i would highly recommend asking others and looking at articles/reasearch papers so dont just take my word and run with it cause im probs wrong).

This is my first time hearing the term 'default kink' but i assume it mainly refers to having a kink in concept. Like how you would tell someone you liked piss broadly than saying omo specifically (I could be 100% wrong, i would greatly appreciate it if someone could tell me the true definition cause i couldnt find any thing about that term TT). Which in that sense i would thinks its fine, like imo its fine to have a kink that you dont really want to participate in but find it hot.

(From this point onwards Im mainly talking out of my ass, feel free to skip if its not really answering your question cause it probably isnt. Im just one passionate bitch who cant stay on topic)

For the later part of your question, i totally get it. Omorashi for me was something that turned me on but i also felt so disgusted by it for the longest time which caused me to basically stop doing it cause i thought it was 'too weird' and disgusting. It really wasnt until recently where I realised who gives a shit if its werid, and I starting seeing more posts on Twitter about kinks and taboo which only really pushed me further down the rabbit hole...again.

I think everyone has a right to think something theyre into is too werid and begin to hate it because of the way it turns you on, but i think a lot of it involves getting rid of societal expectations and just being you. Cause no matter what kink you have, if its piss or not, 99% of society will hate it and think you are weird for it. You cant please everyone but you can please yourself.

For you since you dont enjoy it cause you find it werid but get turned on by it, it can be a slippery slope. It may be a thing were you dont like participating im omo but like watching it, or maybe you prefer controlling. Idk thats for you to find out if you even want to.

Again, DO NOT TAKE WHAT I SAY AT FACE VALUE! Do more reasearch cause im a stranger on the internet, not some kink professional. When it was me in that position all it took was a mindset change. Realising that I should be able to indulge myself and not feel 'dirty' for it, letting myself understand that yes, a piss kink is weird, but it feels good to me so I should let myself experiment even if i end up concluding it wasnt for me. But it may not be the same for you and thats ok.

I cant really give you a definate answer cause i feel like its a pretty personal journey you have to take. You know, start out small and see how it goes.

anyway sorry about my college theis. Hopes it helps, im really just talking about of my ass rn. If theres someone who has a better take feel free to add, idk if i even answered the question lmao 😭

[redrawthecolorlessworld]

((not really) poorly) explaining rhymix characters' backstories (part 2)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

———

1. Snow

she was born with a mysterious immunity to snow. that's all i have for her lmao.

2. Miaya

created by amazing mighty around the time felys got kidnapped by a Mysterious Person™. mighty felt lonely and misses felys, and then ended up creating miaya to make him feel less lonely. ended up seeing her as his own kid which is nice :) miaya doesn't really see him as her own father by this point tho :( she also has dreams of meeting someone in the past........she just couldn't remember who it was.

3. Upshift

nothing too special about him. he's just some dj living life normally.

4. Lorn

i haven't come up with anything for her yet :/

5. Ray

was like ether strike back then—blinded by light. eventually cut herself off of it and swore to herself that she'll not be so naive and stubborn anymore. also met strike when he nearly died from being. you fucking guessed it. blinded by light. yippee

6. Lady

literally just axium's backstory but in her pov. she ends up really hating axium for dragging her into his stupid exhibition to the vicious labyrinth and just. Really wants to hurt someone and let out her frustrations on them.

7. Stasis

nothing much for him. before main story happened he tried saving his home nation from being colorless (not the character) forever with some others. that's all.

8. DRG

haven't come up with anything for her yet :(

9. Alxaid

he had some kind of illness where once he dies, everyone he has known will forget about him. he just disappears just like that. was friends with abstruse and hung out with him a lot. he even spent his final moments with abstruse :( by the time main story started he's already long gone :(( rip...........

(...but, would he ever come back? the dead can't go back to the living, you know. unless a case similar to lumine's were to happen—i'll stop now.)

10. Ionostream

a telegraphist (THAT'S NOT AN ACTUAL WORD????? OR DID I TYPED THAT WRONG-) from years ago who accidentally time traveled to the present day and now has to adjust to living in the current resonation (the rhymix nation based off of resonark i guess???). she's...trying her best lol.

11. Aleph-0

he was so fucking smart that he graduated high school early 💀💀💀💀 (probs before the second semester of his first school year there—he managed to meet mantis in that short time tho) he has really REALLY high curiosity with this thing called Temptation™ and then made it his life goal to hunt down its true meaning. he keeps getting himself in near death experiences in the process tho. so self sacrificial.....and all for knowledge too......

12. Mantis

is an assassin of sorts i guess. met larva, falls in love with her, but then got told that she was his next target, and then killed her (with a heavy heart). made a promise to himself to come find her again one day if she were to come back, and then years later reunites with her..........except it's not a her anymore it's a him now. hashtag sort of transgenderism??????????

13. Astra Walkthrough

idk yet.

14. World Fragments III

literally her name. in a sense she's sort of like primeval???? she's like. a result from a bunch of actual world fragments in rhymix put together to become one. lol.

15. Chronicle

idk yet either :/

16. Hikaru

he got a WHOLE ASS BACKSTORY POST ALL TO HIMSELF ON MY OLD ART BLOG AND I'M TOO LAZY TO LINK IT HERE BUT BASICALLY- was a famous idol who had loads of fans but had a really creepy stalker who went to the same school as him. initially she kept sending him letters with the sign off name being just "T", but then it gets worse and worse and eventually hikaru found out she was stalking him all this time. eventually gets murdered by her in some way and then becomes a god. WOO. THAT'S A LOT.

17. ultradiaxon-N3

was created by momento and arghena solely as compensation for the bullshit that happened during one of memoria's many april fools events. now is the nation's trustworthy AI :3 she would not steal art and writing btw

18. Hivemind

can't think of one for him yet ughhhhh

19. Hivemind Interlinked

an alternate version of hivemind who accidentally time traveled to the future. ends up just living through it normally lol. also ended up time travelling AND universe hopping to current day rhymix for one of memoria's april fools events (and accidentally meets his past self in the process).

20. Felys

was some kind of musician who's also really good with classical instruments like the violin and the piano. got really famous for that too. met mighty, fell in love with him, feelings got returned, and then bam they're lovers now. uhhhhh also got married to that fuckass god but then days later got kidnapped and locked up in some prison realm away from rhymix by an Unknown Person™.

21. Cybernetic Vampire

vampires in rhymix are rare. the few ones who were alive were then taken down (aka literally killed) by the humans to prevent anything bad happening to the humans. cybervamp is one of the last few vampires in rhymix and really does fear extinction :(

22. Chronomia

she's just a gal who likes clocks. she's fine.

23. Perfect

oh boy. honestly idk how to explain it in a post like this when i could just make a whole different post about it, but to sum it up quickly:

parents dead -> lives alone and overtime develops severe depression for a reason i haven't decided on yet -> got found by a group of people in her lowest moment -> got taken in by them -> eventually gets abused and changed in horrible ways possible to make her into a "perfect human being" -> gets traumatized -> eventually runs away with some other kids in the science lab place because she's experimented on in the same place as terabyte, satellite, and opia -> lives independently now

....ok moving on.

24. Destr0yer

explained in her introductory post, but basically she was the previous goddess of destruction before destonio came in and took that role. she had the same desires he did; destroy the world. got stopped by amazing mighty in the process and then got "fired from her job", as she likes to describe it LMAOOOOOOO

25. Credits

was basically unnoticed by the people around him for his whole life, got sick of that, and then took up the role of becoming a tv program host. his fame skyrocketed because he's just That good at this job and good looking. the fame got into his head tho, and then he suddenly became kinda greedy, eventually appearing in a lot more tv programs across different channels. capitalism sucks lol

ALRIGHT I'M DONE FOR NOW. SEE YOU ALL IN PART 3 LMAO

[britt-thats-it]

Being back on tumblr is so nice. It’s like I never left (except I can’t remember everyone I used to follow/they probs left too).

(feelsies under the cut)

I only left because this couple I almost dated (who took my not dating them very hard) sort of cyber stalked me here. I kept making new accounts and they kept finding them and showing them to everyone in the scene we were all part of and following all the people I was mutuals with and it was… not cool.

Anyway, I’ve been really struggling with grief since quarantine. I had a huge falling out with my sister who I had been living with for the last 4 years. Her lack of recovery was badly interfering with my recovery and I was so deeply triggered by her behavior that I was barely functioning. I was in a constant state of flared up, in so much pain every day, even laying down was uncomfortable. I wasn’t able to eat bc my reflux was going crazy, I was starting to drink too much (something I hadn’t struggled with in years), I wasn’t sleeping. The pressure of being home together all the time took its toll.

Coincidentally, divine timing being what it is, my partner and I were spending hours on the phone every day. Just falling so in love. We’d already been together for almost a year, but her two other relationships falling apart, career change, and my chronic illness and not remembering how to be in a relationship (lol— it had been a LONG time and I was fully down to spend the rest of my life alone) kept us at a bit of a distance. We had been very close friends for a couple years beforehand, so when we took things to a romantic level, the feelings progressed quickly but we just didn’t have much time for each other. Anyway, she invited me to come stay with her. I was only planning on 2 weeks, but I literally never left. Everything just felt so easy and sweet. We handle each other with such care. Over the last 3 years my life has become a kind of stable that I’ve never (I mean NEVER) experienced. I love it and I am so grateful for it.

But I remember from my trauma-filled childhood, the survival mode of the present puts off the feelings for later. It isn’t until you have a calm moment that the feelings about what you just went through hit you.

The last 7 years hit me like an 18 wheeler. Going no contact with my family, living on the road, losing my job and being homeless, moving to nyc on a wing and a prayer, living with my sister and reliving A lot of my childhood through her behaviors, struggling through the capitalist ass New York art scene as an autistic person while also being very poor, working my fucking ass off, *just* about to hit my stride and do this fuckin career thang and boom. Covid.

I made an album, collaborated on a friend’s album, started my podcast and wrote a book. I’m in the middle of making another album. All this while feeling myself really trust someone, really learn what partnership means, really feeling like an adult, but also feeling so so wounded. The grief has been the heaviest thing I’ve ever felt. I lost myself a little bit. Insert bloody goopy chrysalis metaphor here.

I did all this but not joyfully, not really. Something was missing.

I have been trying, in the last few months, to unironically find my bliss again. I lost my sparkle, I lost my drive. I really feel like I experienced my own metaphorical death. I was anxious and raw, I second-guessed every interaction because I felt like I didn’t know how to be a person. I was completely sober!! Just fucking raw dogging life!!! I was scared all the time. I forgot my passions, I forgot my purpose. I still worked on stuff, I still created (a lot that I’m proud of!!) but idk I just wasn’t the same free-spirited confident lil powerhouse I came to know myself to be.

I think I gave too much on other social media. I think I was too vulnerable and too available and it got me into trouble. I think I confused work for life and I soured my own creation process for me. It became too important. Every hobby, every passion became kindling for money making or making “it” or whatever. I forgot how to have fun. I burnt myself out.

I recently started remembering hobbies I had that I never shared with anyone irl. Exercise/weight lifting, which I picked back up again in February, slowly testing the waters to see if my disordered relationship to it would return, it didn’t. Feeling myself getting stronger being exactly what I needed (literally and metaphorically) and all the good stuff that does to my confidence. Playing music just for fun, just sitting down with an instrument and playing 😫 locking myself in a room and flitting around like a mad scientist creating something I love 😫 dancing 😫 meditation 😫 journaling 😫 pulling tarot cards just for me 😫 and finally, longing for connection of some sort; for actual vulnerability and not people just fucking marketing themselves all the time— I remembered how much tumblr helped me. How much it inspired me. How it helped me become the person who made all those scary changes, who learned who I am and learned how to walk away. So much good came from that decade I spent here, so I decided to come back.

It’s exactly what I needed.

[thatfuzzyfamiliarspace]

I’m talking to Alex about it now. But idk I feel like I can’t go into it as much with her. Yesterday was fine and nice but I really really didn’t anticipate the feelings and emotions that were gonna hit me.

Winter wonderland was the last date Thelo and I had before we broke up a few days after. It was so odd to be back there because everything kept reminding me. All the stalls, the rides, the games. Every time I could smell weed it just triggered me. When we left we walked past a group and one of them said “right let’s go smoke now” and I just couldn’t help but think of all the times we’d been there. Walking by the lake after to smoke. Even smoking on the ferris wheel. It was so hard to just try and stay in the moment. Shit kept hitting me hard. And then I’d get all little and excited and Jordan would just snap at me. “Stop running off” don’t swing my arm” “stand next to me” “you get excited about everything you see and want it” “don’t like PDA in public”. Hurts me every time. So with all the emotions of the past being shoved in my face I had him neglecting my little side too. I was trying so hard to just breathe and not have a panic attack. I must’ve cried like 5 or 6 times and he didn’t even notice. It was all so overwhelming. I just wanted to enjoy our time out and I did for the most part. The beginning was just really intense for me. The fun house with the slide really picked me up. Felt fun to mess around with him then. Him winning me my teddy made me happy. It was just at the end of the night where I hadn’t had a drink for hours and only a nibble of food. Ik I should make sure I look after myself. But it’s such a weird thing. When I’m with him I feel little, and I want him to look after me and my needs. I’d ask for food or things and he’d say “after this” and it’s always “later” or “wait”. Then it gets too late. Idk, I don’t have bad feelings towards him as he probs had a lot to think about but I just felt so ill by the end of the night. And he didn’t seem to care much. Thought I was being dramatic about it. Then that triggered me to how Thelo would treat me after I’d been drinking and felt rough with a hangover, all that neglect. It was just sucha turmoil of feelings yesterday. And then him saying when we was getting food on the way home that I “wasn’t being the sub he wants” that just fucked me up, esp after that dream I had the other night.

Like I’m trying. I’m really trying. But it’s so hard when I’m thrown into different mind states. I can’t be his sub when I’m little. I can’t be his sub when I’m feeling the same neglect I’ve felt in the past. He has no idea how hard I tried yesterday. I just wanted to enjoy us being out. But there were all these things coming at me. I don’t want to come across as ungrateful. He kept mentioning the money he was spending. Like I owed him something because of it. I just felt so horrible so many times. I kept picking myself up, would let myself get happy and excited and would get shot down again. I was either too happy or too low. He says he’s still learning to mesh with me. Shouldn’t we have already meshed by now ? He said I would burn myself out if I was to up and happy and excited. But that didn’t burn me out. The emotional turmoil of the memories of my last relationship being brought to the forefront of my mind constantly and the constant shutting down of my little side when I was tryna make myself feel better was burning me out. To the point where I just felt ill by the end of the night. The drinking earlier probably didn’t help, even tho I didn’t feel drunk at all yesterday.

I kept having violent thoughts while we were out too. I remember standing with him while he went to buy tokens, and there was this white Pickett fence next to me. How I just wanted someone to come up, rip one of the planks off and drive it through me. Or someone to shove me so hard it’d ram me into one. Why tf was I thinking of that ? In a place like that where my little side should be in over drive ? I was thinking of hurting myself or someone hurting me ? I was just a constant yo-yo. And then the thought of getting a hotel was just a no. I couldn’t even think of sex at the time. It’s rare when I’m like that but it was sommin I didn’t want at all. I felt gross. I felt so shitted up in the head.

I just feel so anxy. And have done since Friday. I don’t wanna go see my Nan today. I don’t wanna see her dying. I don’t think I even wanna go to his later. I wanna stay here. In my room. I wanna forget about the world outside and just stay here in my little space. Where no one can make me feel bad things. I can just sit and play games and watch things and be comfy. I’m tired of the anxiousness. I don’t feel like I deserve it. I wanna sleep. I want my head to shuttup. I want all the intrusive thoughts and memories to go away. I don’t want her crying anymore. Yesterday was just damaging to her tbh. And I just wanna keep us both away from everyone and everything atm. Nothing gives us comfort or the feeling of being safe. We don’t wanna hurt anymore.

[ghostcrimez]

On August 3rd (guessing) 2022, I woke up to find one of my mom's weird fan-tailed crochet needle things on the counter in the bathroom. this was strange for a couple reasons - im p sure it was in her room, and cas was sleeping in there. it hadnt been there when we'd gone to bed, and cas had no reason to have put it on the counter in the middle of the night. theoretically our cat could've put it there, but it was positioned p straight (not discounting it though) and i wasnt sure where the hell he couldve gotten it anyway if it'd been in the room and i hadnt seen it Anywhere so i dont know that it was just. floating around. theoretically could’ve come from the kids' room ? maybe he reached under the door bc he saw smth and gabbed it ? not sure. point is it seemed weird that it was there, but not out of the realm of possibility. the weird part is what happened later in the day. bc ive been Hoping for ghost activity (esp since ppl moved back out again) i was standing in the bathroom looking at it and i was talking. i was like 'hey if theres someone here with me and this was you bringing it in and NOT the cat, can you move it to a noticable degree?' i was sitting there mumbling about how i prob wouldnt even know if it was them for sure actually bc if i leave and come back it couldve just been the cat walking on the counter or something, i would have no proof that it was a ghost and not just him. im PRETTY sure i was looking directly at the needle and it hadnt moved at all , but theoretically i couldve moved it while washing my hands? but i hadnt noticed a position change at all, and later i tested this by slamming all around and on the counter and it didnt move from my movements, so idk. anyway im like maybe ill grab the spirit box and try asking a couple thigs, so i leave the room for like. 30 seconds. in this time the cat is in his bed, unmoving, sleeping away in the bathroom. i went back in and he was still there, but the needle HAD been moved to a noticeable degree. instead of sitting almost straight against the edge on the counter, it was now pointed toward the sink. i stood there wracking my brain trying to figure out if it actually moved. i walked in and out of the bathroom and back to my room etc multiple times, moving doors and stomping a little to see if vibration moved it. the needle did not move from the spot.

i didnt get any responses thru spirit box (thugh its hard as hell for me to tell anyway) and nothing else happened, but that was Weird. not necessarily unexplainable, but writing it anyway.

after this happened i said something along the lines of 'if you're here feel free to make noises around the house to let us know youre here and maybe we can try to communicate with you. make thumps or something?'

since then, three different times, we've heard a random noise around the house and found pixie not to be in that area so it wasnt him making the sounds. theoretically we're hearing stuff outside, but it seems odd. just writing it down so that i like Know

-von

[foxstens]

so let’s talk abt visual novels

i didn’t think i’d be interested in any of them after fsn but i guess the format just works for me? personally i love words and the things you can do with them and the way books do storytelling but i’m also horrible at visually imagining things when reading, and that makes books more forgettable to me i guess.

but the vn format seems to be the perfect middle ground. it’s less limited than anime when it comes to things like narration and internal monologue and even length i guess, but it’s also easier to pay attention to than books thanks to the audio-visual elements. 

then there’s the fact that you can control the pace at which the words show up, which is one of the things that frustrates me about books. when i got into reading as a regular hobby i developed this habit where i’d kind of skim everything i read, as in i’d really only pay 100% attention to the dialogue, bc trying to read and absorb every word was slow and boring and every time i tried to do that my eyes would always jump ahead and i’d find myself having to return to certain sentences to make sure i really understood them. so even though having to hit enter after every sentence isn’t my favourite thing, the autoplay function on vn’s without voice acting is a godsend

another thing i love is how in a lot of them the backgrounds and the characters tend to look completely different. like in some the background might be more realistic while the character sprites are very obviously anime-like, and in others the sprites might be very colourful and detailed while the backgrounds are pretty bare-bones and simplistic. i kind of hated it at first but now it’s just one of those things that make vns different. (not to say that every vn looks amazing but yea)

as for things i don’t really love....... well. i guess the biggest one would be the choice-making aspect. bc as far as i’ve seen the choices can lead to a good end, a normal end, or a bad end. or they might be meaningless choices that just give you different dialogue or smth. and sometimes it might be impossible to guess which choice or which combination of choices does what. which is why i’ve used a walkthrough for every vn i’ve read so far (other than f/fha)

if you happen to want to get every possible ending you might end up having to basically replay every route multiple times while abusing the skip button (if it even has a skip button). and even when you get to choose the route there might be a recommended order for the routes (which you’d have no idea about unless you looked it up) or you might have to read all of them to unlock the entire story

so i guess route-wise fsn’s approach is my favourite, and choices-wise it’s fha’s bc basically all i got to choose was when to interact with which characters, instead of when to die.

i guess kinetic novels might be the answer to this but i haven’t tried any of them yet and having choices makes me pay more attention? and if i happen to really really really love a vn i’d actually be glad to go through every possible choice and ending :’)

there’s a lot more to talk abt but i’ll prob do that later on so in the meantime here’s a list of the ones i’ve tried so far

1. fate/stay night

2. fate/hollow ataraxia

3. amnesia: memories

4. flowers - the volume of spring - (dropped bc i wasn’t in the mood for it)

5. english detective mysteria (same as above)

7. fashioning little miss lonesome (loved it but the first LI is so ugly i had to drop it)

6. cinderella phenomenon (currently reading)

[youareunbearable]

Thinking of fucking around and maybe projecting my ace feelings onto my current fav ships

Like exploring how sex feels like a chore but one that makes your partner happy so ud gladly do it while only feeling minor discomfort? ✔

How open mouth kissing feels weird and gross and unpleasant but closed mouth ones are nice and romantic? ✔

How the thought of someone, even a partner, imagining you in a lustful way makes you feel gross and used? ✔

Yet also conducting yourself in a manner and are comfortable acting/saying/dressing in sexual tones because its a societal norm? ✔

[heckolve]

ill never tire of drawing this 😪

[wolfsneedles]

when cersei says, "she had a warrior heart, but the gods in their blind malice had given her the feeble body of a woman"

i actually felt it. no not the way she does ofc since she is essentially an antagonistic character but more like, the comparisons she makes the way she hates her own sex and wants power how she assumes herself as tywins daughter and how jaime thinks she call herself tywin lannister with teats, all point to her major disgusting internal conflict. ofc when we later see walk of shame it was worse the comments thrown on her body. in first books when we never had her pov i thought she too would admire herself her beauty, however cersei, in all her honestly hates her female traits and doesn't flaunt her beauty like i always thought or got idea from in first books. she is very mean and dehumanising to women and sees them inferiorly, not to say she herself was treated with a lot of hatred and sexism and then sold to marry a man she doesn't desire who himself was brutal on her, however i think she would have never been personally happy with anyone. cersei sees the entire point of being woman to please men with what she tells sansa, and then to be used as woman too . she doesn't like or meets appreciates strong women she hasn't seen or met dany obv neither would she ever have pleasant thoughts about brienne and arya even, she comments sometimes how woman is pretty but she herself always reduces her worth and others to just a girl to be sold and mounted. ofc her internal conflict i find is v interesting and confusing at times. she hates women but also wants other to accept her everything her every cruel practices even perhaps as woman. she doesn't like being woman to please people at all, yet its so sad and helpless to see her try to tempt jaime or osney even later just so they could listen to her. she hates the rampant sexism and misogyny in westeros even exhibited by her brothers and father but she doesn't realise she is using the same notion and definitions of sexism people have about women to demean and hate woman around her. its like she hates men definitely but she hates doing effort herself too to be a same female figure or woman we see other asoiaf women exhibit or do.

i was wondering if her behaviour towards women themselves, how she sees them inferior even when the men around her aren't seeing them like this, but she sees women with sexist approach too she mentions about rape or septa being or longing for rape, she ridicules and discusses margaerys virginity so much, she talks about uncensored stuff to sansa lol, when she is young girl literally, points to the fact how blunt and hateful cersei is of herself but also of female definition. i think this has a lot to do with her maybe not having to experience a mothers love??? i never liked how she was always surrounded ironically by men around her. we never see major strong female lannister representation i just realised. we only see or hear about tywin who had brutal approach to westeros the, holier-than-thou approach. we see jaime who is prob not worse like tywin at all but he also constantly tries to berate and pass quite nauseating remarks for women and ill hold this opinion about him until i see him say sorry to brienne lol (not to mention he does not hate women as whole even as being a man), we see tyrion also not really ideal partner and excessively morally grey character although i have never or maybe remember sexist or extremely insensitive remarks about women by tyrion until we see him in adwd only blurting out pretty worse sentences and maybe acting same like his father, and then we just know kevan who always well * saw cersei as not so perfect person and is kind of weird to her or idk maybe i never liked that lad because he also kind of sexualised her in childhood as cersei says maybe that men never looked at her like they do at others and she was seen with different eyes, all this time i wonder kind of where was tywin though he could have given or taught her good wholehearted valuable values anyway my anti tywin agenda not here today*, and then we see lancel, well for all we know he slept with her too but its just weird again that she slept with him to get rid of her obnoxious husband and well, lancel doesn't really hurt her though or ever saw her like her brothers do, considering his religious changes. but all this time im wondering cersei kind of missed having any wholesome woman in her life as, friend or companion which contributes to her internalised misogyny even more (its like she is opposite of catelyn hundred percent but cat also has internalised misogyny and i realised she never had loving sister cousin friend or companion) maybe im not thinking right but doesn't it click to u all that they both esp cersei of course see women in diff colours and not like how arya dany sansa brienne see women, because they lacked any stronger female character to look upto too. cats treatment of jon which is separate thing was quite questionable and so how she feels weird too when she sees mya stone! but cat or cersei never both, confronted their husbands or told them anything or even discussed any issues with them (this is for cat esp when she should have been angry over ned for jon :/ but she changed her energy to jon) . and it makes me wonder its also because they both were raised in a v male dominated society with diff kinds of fathers, uncles and brothers, that cersei especially has diff notion to what a random woman outside castle would even look like or act like and that all of them aren't really linked to their virginity or marriages and babies. i dont think ofc she would have been different if she had wholesome female friend but she did or should have had someone as girl who had her back when she was growing up???

(btw this isn't pro cersei thing at all - i was kind of horrified by her analysis of women we get to see in affc and then the melara thing at her young age was well fked up also pinching tyrion when he was baby "until he cried" or calling him "little monster" or whatever shows infact how she is quite disdainful of men like tyrion too and not just women. i was wondering maybe her losing joanna maybe played significant role only that being said, she is biggest antiparallel to dany and catelyn! )