#so it’s not healthy but he care and doesn’t want another kid to die and the rest of the six and like

[movedtodykedvonte]

*somewhere in an underground bunker*

Doc Ock: Why are you holding an unconscious Spider-Man in our secret base?

Sandman: I found him asleep on a rooftop after a fight with Kraven. Spidey beat him but I think he hit the kid with a dart or something.

Doc Ock: That doesn’t explain why you brought him here, Sandman.

Sandman, distraught: Was I supposed to leave him there out in the cold?

Doc Ock: Yes? He’s our enemy!

Sandman: He’s a kid! What if he got sick?

Doc Ock: Good for us!

Sandman, pissed: Shame on you! I’m gonna go make sure the kid has doesn’t have hypothermia. He really should make a thicker costume.

Doc Ock, absolutely done with the situation: At least let’s find out his identity…

Sandman, slapping Docs hand away: Absolutely not! Teens his age need their privacy. *Spider-Man shifts in Sandy’s arms* Awww :).

Doc Ock, face palming: Why are you even on this team still.

[frostbitebakery]

LOUD.

the mania is taking hold on us, sorry

“Okay,” Cody yields, “Kamino isn’t anything like this.”

Obi-Wan’s grin is blooming in the crinkles around his eyes and Cody is led away from the— the obstacle course that calls itself night market, Obi-Wan’s fingers warm where they’re wrapped around Cody’s hand.

Obi-Wan walks backwards, his free hand busy signing while he deftly avoids any of the, Cody guesstimates, trillion people out and about on a busy Coruscant night.

Cody can’t look away.

There are no harsh turns or stops. No almost crashes. It’s almost, almost eerie, that otherworldliness. Obi-Wan is not concerned with looking where he’s going, still backwards. No, he’s seemingly fully occupied with telling Cody about the time he first tried takolumi, a “boldly fascinating dish, culturally significant although they do not particularly care how you eat it as long as you know some form of self-defense”.

He leads them around the masses of people like a walk on the beach and Cody can’t stop looking away.

The takeaway bag is rather hefty at this point and Cody adjusts the paper straps digging into the creases of his fingers. There’s a healthy spot of grease growing dark on the bottom of the bag and yet it doesn’t rip. Somehow no one has yet bumped into him either which would probably rank higher in the miracle list than surviving an encounter with Grievous if Obi-Wan’s hand wouldn’t sprinkle in strange gestures now and then.

To Cody’s embarrassment it took him three flat palms and a sideways motion so seamlessly flowing with Obi-Wan’s silent voice to notice that the people, kids, bags, and carts about to encounter the durasteel wall that is a clone’s body didn’t make impact.

“Too much?”

The question catches him off guard. To Obi-Wan’s credit, he looks more curious than concerned, expecting and trusting Cody to speak up if anything makes him uncomfortable.

He quickly shakes his head. It’s… refreshing, to be honest. The brass and natborn personnel act and rule as if they can’t think for themselves, like they’re on the very base of AI. The public are torn between disdain, fascination, and pity, thinking they know what rights the clones truly deserve in their protests. In the darkest hours after a campaign Cody avoids the holo news like the plague, skin breaking out in hives at the hypocrisy of people wanting to heroically save the clones while wanting to settle them in the furthest, most unwanted parts of the Galaxy.

Cody is aware that their upbringing is anything but traditional, that it’s doused with instilling loyalty to the Republic and, relatedly, to the Jedi as their commanding officers. The real problem took root when they were finally introduced to the Jedi and got treated like people instead of soldiers.

Cody is glad to die for these people when his time comes. And he knows, watching Obi-Wan’s fingers and eyes speak shapes and stories, they do not hesitate to lay down their lives for them either.

He stops. Can’t not stop. Feet frozen to the ground as the realization truly hits its mark in him.

Surrounded by the center of the Galaxy, the mix of every people and culture in one place, the mundane life, shouts and laughter and yelling and music and more laughter, surrounded by Obi-Wan’s warmth, his stories, his… his everything standing for the Jedi…

They would die for each other without hesitation.

“Cody?”

He watches the people around them unconsciously giving them space, walking around them.

“One minute,” he signs back in battle sign, keeps staring at Obi-Wan who switches from growing concern to wide eyes to lowering his gaze sheepish and pleased and blushing.

Cody wants to save him and be saved by him. Wants to end the war just to know they’re both alive for another morning.

He tugs at Obi-Wan’s hand, pulls him closer like he is the one weaving a spell. He reaches up, swipes the hood from Obi-Wan’s head. Feels the soft strands of ginger hair curling around his fingers as he leans up.

Their foreheads gently touch, push together until it’s one warmth shared, one breath shared, and it’s more than the everything Cody hadn’t had known he could dream about before meeting the Jedi.

“I know,” is tapped against his bottom lip and Cody pushes that much closer into Obi-Wan’s space.

Obi-Wan leans back after a too short eternity, meeting Cody’s eyes without flinch or hesitation even if there’s a guardedness in them now he can’t hide fast enough from Cody’s training. “Come on. I want to show you how to best clog your arteries and I know just the place for that.”

“I’m not,” the words trip out of him before Obi-Wan can turn away from him. “I’m,” he doesn’t have the words to explain but he knows, instinctively, if he doesn’t say something now, Obi-Wan will pull away from him. Obi-Wan’s fingers still in Cody’s hand have already started slipping away like water and sand and air.

“Death, yet the Force,” Cody signs hurriedly, hands jerking after the movements he’s seen Obi-Wan do during his meditation.

Obi-Wan stills, expression neutral.

“I honor your Code,” he says. “I honor your voice,” he signs. Watches his own heart pound and Obi-Wan’s shoulders loosen. His hand is solid in Cody’s once more.

“Come on. I want to watch Dex fuss over you.”

[A few months later, a daring plan later with prices too high and yet. Obi-Wan will help Quinlan once he’s back on Coruscant. But for now he’s carried away by a rescue shuttle from an exploding Malvolence to hopefully be fetched out of space soon. Even if a satisfied like loth cat Cody is a sight to behold. All the confidence of a Commander knowing what he’s doing and reaping the victory.]

Cody is warm against his back when the Force cries out, lashes its despair into Obi-Wan’s mind like a whip.

The moment he startles awake from the light doze, Cody’s arms around him tighten into a vice.

“There you are,” Cody says, hisses like a satisfied snake and it’s his voice but not and Obi-Wan is too tired and exhausted after dealing with Grievous and wrapping the Malvolence like a gift for Mace and Cody, Cody, Cody—

“I am arresting you for treason against the Emperor,” Cody continues, empty and hollow now and what the kriffing stars is going on.

“Let go,” he taps against Cody’s thigh and is put on his front for the trouble, arms pulled behind his back roughly.

It clicks with the first handcuff that— Cody

Cody

Cody

Cody has betrayed him.

Before the second click, Obi-Wan bucks up, turns, and he’s got the length of the cuffs around Cody’s neck. Kicks into Cody’s knee and his weight into the make-shift garrote to put him to unconsciousness and buy Obi-Wan crucial time to think.

Mind churning, whirling, puzzling, how could Cody do this, who’s driving him to do this, how could Obi-Wan not see—

Cody falls back into him, grips Obi-Wan’s hand holding one cuff link, grips it hard, and hits against Obi-Wan’s other still cuffed arm.

The cuff’s chain breaks, so does Obi-Wan’s wrist, and playing nice is over.

It’s glimpses that follow, shimmering in the despair of Obi-Wan fighting for his life, for Cody’s life who’s fighting and moves against every self-sustaining instinct, not caring when Obi-Wan pleads with him, barely flinching when Obi-Wan dislocates his knee to get away.

Running up the hull of the rescue ship and he’s snatched out of the air by an arm around his waist, thrown down on his back and the air waves at him on the way out of his lungs.

Cody’s hand on the front of his coat, pulling him up up up and he’s hurled back into the floor with prejudice. Cody wants to exhaust his damaged airways and lungs, maybe break his back while he’s at it, and he’s doing an admittedly incredible job of it.

On the next pull up, Obi-Wan slings his legs around Cody’s arm, heels crossed over his shoulder, and with additional strength provided by the Force he throws Cody over his center point, lets him crash into the floor, hoping to afflict some kind of damage to the damned armor.

The armor.

It’s a beacon flaring in the dark. The realization, the knowledge that is being shoved away by the Darkness even as clarity fights to reunite with him.

The armor. The neural connector.

Where was it. Helmet or backplate? He can’t remember why can’t he remember—

He gets a boot to his shin, a kick to the face as he falls forward and his priorities realign.

He needs to immobilize Cody or at the very least bring them both to the same disadvantage so he can think in the Darkness launching itself at him from all sides.

[thesuperiorrobin]

Pairing: Damian Wayne x Platonic!Reader ( popular!)

Warning: none

(Requested)

The best friend he never wanted.

You’re like a breath of fresh air to the teen. You really are.

Why?

Bc there are so many uptight spoil kids at the academy. He hates it. (He even asked if Bruce could home school him or something)

At first he hated you bc he thought you were one of those kids you pretended to be nice to him bc his daddy’s got money 🙄🤚

But he found out your true intentions after being paired up a couple of time for class. Then it’s history from there.

Everybody’s shocked when your walking to school with Damian.

Only bc it’s Damian Wayne and he would rather die then make a single friend but here you are.

And also bc your the exact opposite of one another. Like seriously.

4lifers.

You tell him anything. (The definition of the okokokok and lalalalala sound)

Trust—he knows the drama that goes around the school bc of you. He would have never thought you would be into drama. But here you are talking his ear off as he walks you to your locker to get your things for your next class.

He doesn’t really care do the drama that goes around because he things he’s too good for it.

And bc he isn’t that nosey

You teach him a lot of things.

He wasn’t raised in a sense where he had to “learn unless things” his words.

He hated it for a while bc it made him feel vulnerable. But he learns quick.

He know knows his generation slang but can’t fully wrap his head around some of them.

SHOPPING SPREES.

Your family’s rich, his dad is rich makes sense.

But you do all the shopping. He doesn’t. But you do buy him stuff.

Your the main reason why he has color in his closet but like in dark shades of gray and blue.

It’s really great at expression his feelings and has a hard time showing it.

Listening to his troubles while you do a whole peel of mask on his face. It helps him relax Okay.

His brothers tease him a lot. But with one look from you and their mouth are shut.

Your also the main reason why his hands and finger nails are so soft and healthy :)

The first time you had mention Taylor Swift, after you mom had bought ticket to go see her, he didn’t know who she really was. He was familiar with the name but that’s about it.

So you made it your top priority to make him learn all her songs.

A day before you two stayed up and listen to them on repeat until you ears bleed.

Can’t say he had a blast bc he did . But he wouldn’t tell you that 🙄🤚

[colourstreakgryffin]

Just figured out you are taking requests for my sweetie L lawliet, so could you do L lawliet with a little sister (reader) probably a 8-10 year age gap between them, she's shy, introverted, quiet, and is always avoiding anyone other than L. She's sneaky and noisy. Her and L has that same crouching position while sitting, you'll never catch her eating anything unless she's eating with L. She's always around L and is with him while sleeping or basically while L speaks on the computer about cases she'll be there sleeping quietly in his lap She's a mini version of him and if she speaks to someone she either responds very mean and blunt with a monotone voice like she doesn't care or will just respond with one word or just a nod. Just recently thought of this sooo yeah🤯!! Anyways have a good day💕

Hmmm! So we’re basically just L again! Well… I suppose I can try already but thank you anyway, I’ll do my best!

Lawliet L- Kindred Shackle

A second L you say? The Taskforce will blow up in flames when they meet you, stood alongside your biological older brother, L. Not in a bad way but in a; “God, there’s two of them” way. One L is bad enough, two Ls is almost like hell

You and L match so much, you might as well wear matching clothes or be the same age since you two mirror each other to a extreme. You’re just as introverted and quiet as L, you’re just as devoted and stubborn, and most importantly, you’re as attached to L as attached he is to you

No joke. You will not eat nor sleep without L present and he knows that as much. So he has you hooked to his hip 24/7 and he never lets you out of his sight. All to make sure you’re healthy and okay

L views you as a cute little lady and he does get a bit scolding when you speak all monotone and blunt to people. Cmon, be nicer! He always tries to encourage you to be a kind, sweet young lady since he wants you to have friends. You should have everything he can’t have

L doesn’t really mind having a littlest sister as clingy and puppy-like as you. You’re a very helpful source, both in work and in his person as he can rely on you in all fields, rather you be MUCH younger than him. He’s 24 and you’re 15!

L believes he works better with you around. Either sleeping on his back or baking with Watari only a couple feet by him, he is fully convinced you provide him with the energy and motivation to work harder on cases, especially the Kira case

L prefers you not adapt to his habits in the slightest. His insomniac sleep patterns, his sugary diet. He is a awful role model and he knows that so he openly tells you to never follow in his footsteps and be like him; it may be intriguing but to him, your health is so much more important than a title

L is a very loving older brother. He may not seem like it but he is, he’ll comb fingers through your hair to help you fall asleep faster, he’ll buy you all kinds of cute accessories and clothes, he is practically your caretaker as the only family you have left. It explains the equal attachment you both have for one another;

L carefully shuffled against the plush couch cushions in order to get more comfortable whilst you were cuddled up in his lap and arms, he had you caged to his scrawny chest with the way his arms stretch out to type on his laptop, the jingle of metallic chains echoing through the spacious room with each wrist movement. You had always been next to L, ever since he willingly took on this horribly deadly murder case and you were willingly to die for your older brother

He is the only thing you have. And you are the only thing he has, L remembers how he carried the only few months year old newborn you through the orphanage when Watari was introducing him to the establishment and the children inside. How he beat down every single one of the kids that dared to try touch you, no, L will never let anybody touch you. Especially when you’re asleep and vulnerable

Light merely approaching or leaning over to L at the very moment to discuss topics or hand over file documents had the pale insomniac man kicking at him in a protective panic. L almost lost you to a horrible rainstorm-induced cold, where he had to use everything his IQ could prosper at that young age to produce a effective medicine alternative to save your life. After that, L has always been overprotective and as your caretaker, he must do everything to raise you and still work as the World’s Greatest Detective

He was very against you joining the case but you went everywhere with him, to every case and to every country. He would never leave you alone, not even for a minute. The only person he truly trusted you with was Watari but since the beloved elderly man was nowhere to be seen, L has to protect you from basically nothing but his own anxiety. He knew his protectiveness was nonsense but he didn’t care, his brotherly love was stronger than his rationality

You’re the only blood he has left in this cruel harsh world and you’re now sitting in the building complex where the Police try track down the world’s most deadly killer. He can’t lose you. To nothing, no Kira, no Taskforce, no wannabe Detective Ls. He will die to the Death Note for you and only you, he won’t let Kira discover your name and drag you into heaven far too early. You must live your life first and if risking his means it will happen, it will happen at all causes

“Dokusha… sweetheart. Up you go, Watari has arrived to transport you to our room. Don’t fret, I’ll be joining you after I’m finished with my duties here, alright?”

[dangermousie]

Watching Jin in The Last Immortal made me think of Xiao Yao and Cang Xuan in Lost You Forever. More specifically how they are all adult survivors of childhood abandonment for a cause and how it affects them permanently.

Xianxia is such a high fantasy setting and usually deals with such larger than life situations (either world-saving or romantic.) Characters always die for the world or get doomed for love or whatever. And it’s great fun to watch. A xianxia done right is a rare pleasure.

But I love that two very different dramas this year actually take a different tack of sorts - they go, it’s great you saved the world/died for love/averted calamity etc etc but what happens to those left behind especially when said person is a child?

If you think about it, Xiao Yao, Cang Xuan and Jin are all characters who were abandoned by all those who were supposed to love them as children and it wasn’t because their parents/caretakers were bad people. It’s because none of the adults in their lives ever put the children first - they put saving the country (XY’s mom), saving the world (Jin’s dad), or true love (CX’s mom and Jin’s mom) over the children and the dramas go - well that’s great but it fucks the kids up.

If you are devoted to a cause, whether it’s an idea or a person, it makes you a failure to those not encompassed by that cause.

It doesn’t even have to be a cause that doesn’t take the kid into consideration. Xiao Yao’s father abandoned her out of a desire to protect her. But the fact remains is, she was abandoned and as she puts it in one of the dialogues - all the adults in her life, all the ones who loved her, had reasons for abandoning her but it was still abandonment.

I mean, if you look at Xiao Yao, as a result of her abandonment, she really cannot be in a healthy relationship - she can allow Cang Xuan in because he’s family and she cared for him before her world imploded but even with him I think she doesn’t expect him to be around forever. And as to a romantic relationship - she doesn’t even want a codependent one, because codependency implies a degree of reciprocity. What she wants is someone to depend on her while she is not as involved. As she puts it, she wants a man who would put her first and only, over any cause, or any family or anything. If you think about it, she falls for a man who has been disassembled by torture to a completely basic level and rebuilds his desires and his entire identity around her and he ultimately still fails her test by the end of LYF1.

And there is Cang Xuan. Whose father was killed in battle which is traumatic but then whose mother kills herself over his father’s grave, leaving her small child an orphan in a den of wolves with only “when you are an adult, you will understand.” No surprise - no he does not, and grows as fucked up as XY or more. If XY is willing to open to love even if in a dysfunctional format (and eventually she heals enough that she actually does get a happy ending in terms of love though she loses a lot on the way; the ending is a mixed one in terms of sweetness), CX is not at all - he believes he’s unworthy of love and incapable of receiving it properly. The fact that the sole woman he loves is XY, his cousin, also the one person around him who he knew before his life went to hell, and even with her he doesn’t really try to pursue her for a long long time even as she falls in love with someone else or gets engaged to yet another man - is proof of his damage. By trying to live her grand doomed romance and screw anyone else even her own son, his mother ensured her son will never have a proper love of his own.

And how with The Last Immortal we see the same effects with Jin. TLI is a kinder narrative and the ending of the drama is supposed to be happy for him (unlike the novel apparently) and Jin himself is not as closed off as the cousins in LYF, but he is so very clearly damaged by abandonment - his refusal to seek responsibility or come into his power, his deliberate goal of making his life as meaningless as possible are all the results of his dad liking the world more than his family and his mom liking his dad more than anyone and anything else.

All three of these characters are adults and capable ones at that but the damage lingers and lingers. And I find it so fascinating in a high fantasy setting.

These are narratives of those left behind on a grand heroic quest and that is something you rarely see done.

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Sano family brainrot

Mainly focus on Mama Sano/Papa Sano/Emma's mom + Izana('s relationship with Shinichiro) rather than the Sano siblings

Shinichiro & Mikey is here

Mama Sano and Papa Sano loved each other. At least, Mama Sano did. We don’t know what pushed Papa Sano to have Emma with Karen (and if it was planned) but we also don’t know when Mama Sano had to go to the hospital to never come back and those two things are most likely related.

The Sano Parents’ relationship could have evolved in different ways: they could’ve agree to divorce (he didn’t love her anymore; they knew she would die and thought it would be best; etc, etc.) or to allow him to pursue his life and have another relationship if it came to be (without divorce) or Papa Sano was just a playboy and that’s how Emma happened.

Still, Mama Sano was at the hospital since Mikey was very young. He has a memory from his father when he was 3, but he has none of his mother when she wasn’t at the hospital – supposedly she’s been there for so long he would’ve been way to young to remember her being able to raise him.

Mikey and Emma have a 1 year and 3 months age gap. So Mama Sano’s health could’ve declined during Mikey’s first year in life which could be followed by Papa Sano meeting Karen (or he could’ve met her during Mama Sano’s health decline).

And then… OK. If Mama Sano was at the hospital, and Papa Sano raised Mikey and Shinichiro, what did they do when he left to (supposedly) see Karen?

We don’t know if Shinichiro and Mikey were aware of Emma’s existence before she came to their grandfather’s house. Their surprise doesn’t last long, supposedly they knew they had a (half-)sister. Or they didn’t bother freaking out and just accepted it as their new reality, who knows. Maybe they knew their father had a relationship on the side, maybe they didn’t. But they didn’t know what she looked like or even her name, so their father didn’t talk much about that.

Karen is a very interesting, with very little clues/material and no narration from her POV to help which makes it very hard to analyze her character. She doesn’t care about Izana, but she cried when telling him goodbye and told him to ‘be strong since he was going to leave alone from now on’. She lied to Emma (whereas she didn’t with Izana) about picking her up later. She was wearing red lipstick and smelt like flowers that day.

What we know about this woman is: Her first husband was a ‘useless man’ who had Izana with a Filipino woman (the French translation I read called her his ‘ex-girlfriend’ meaning Izana was there before Karen and his father got together – which could give a reason as to why he wanted to marry her. But the English version gives you the idea he was unfaithful, and honestly I think both could be equally damaging to Karen’s mental health) – as to whether this relationship she had with that man was healthy (and honest) or not, we don’t know. But clearly, whether it happened when he was still alive or after his death, she couldn’t care less about him.

But she still had to raised Izana. And until he met her again as a teen, she never told him she wasn’t his biological mom. She let him call her that. (until he saw her again after all those years)

A thing that could’ve bring Papa Sano and Karen closer was that they had to raise kids alone. If him and Mama Sano got divorced, since Mikey doesn’t seem to be at his grandfather’s house as a baby/toddler, I’d say Papa Sano got custody (in Japan, divorced parents can’t share the custody of their children. Only one parent can keep it, and it’s usually the mother (because we all know children need more their mother and their nuturing care than their father /sarc) and father does not get visitation rights most of the time; it’s common for a child to not see their other parent after the divorce. Which, you know, makes you wonder who took care of Mikey when he wasn’t home, but– (oh hey Shinichiro)

And that’s the problem, isn’t it? Was Papa Sano more with Mikey and Shinichiro or with Karen and Emma? Was he there to raise Emma? If Karen knew Grandpa Sano’s address than her and Papa Sano should’ve been rather close (I mean, they had a child together. But Emma could’ve not be planned, who knows), no (if he didn’t know about Emma, Karen couldn’t have known about Gandpa Sano, right?)? Did he meet Izana? Did Izana met Papa Sano?

After her first-husband’s death, Karen had to raise Izana alone, meeting Papa Sano 1. someone could understand the pain and difficulty of raising a kid alone in Japan (which there are a lot of articles about) and 2. Papa Sano was a good guy. Not like the ‘useless man’. But like the useless man, he died too.

She wasn’t going to raise 2 kids by herself. Or 1 again.

No matter the reasons, she couldn’t handle raising kids, to be a mom, anymore.

So Emma goes to the Sano and Izana remains a Kurokawa.

Mikey is the one to have made Emma opened up to them. They don’t have a big age gap either so it’s easier to get closer, contrary to Shinichiro. Shinichiro took on him to raise his siblings, he says to his father’s grave that he’ll take care of them and that he(his father) doesn’t need to worry. But Emma, unlike Mikey, wasn’t in his life before he lost his parents and his ‘normal’ life. He never had a normal big brother-little sister relationship with her, whatever a normal siblings relationship is supposed to be like – he straight up went ‘guess I’m your father figure now. Wanna see delinquent stuffs?’

And now… Izana and Shinchiro. And the 1Billion dollars worth question: Why didn’t he ever bring Izana back to the Sano household?

They both have wayyy more of a brotherly relationship than what Shinichiro has with Mikey and Emma (which isn’t brotherly since he’s raising them). He shows him the delinquent ways (kinda like with Mikey) but he doesn’t have that ‘father figure’ responsibility there, for once.

But let’s go back to facts for now. Shinichiro learned about Izana because of Emma (while Mikey didn’t bother to listen/remember) and went off to meet him. Why? Just to see how he was like? *shrug*

Why didn’t he tell Emma about the correspondence he had with Izana? *shrug*

He didn’t make Izana and Mikey met for at least two reasons: 1. Mikey complete disdain when Emma talked about Izana 2. Izana clear rage for Mikey (tbf, Shinichiro ruined it by only talking about Mikey when he was with Izana). But it could’ve been dealt with if they had met, no?

Financially, it could’ve been difficult to take care of Izana (alongside Shinichiro and Mikey, Emma. Three children is already a lot, specially when there’s only one adult to support and raise them) – but that doesn’t explain why he couldn’t make them see each other from time to time.

Adoption could be a sensitive topic as well – first of all, no matter the country, adoption is hell and Japan is definitively NOT an exception, second of all, in Japan, parents can request the children they put in institution to not receive foster care. No matter what, biological parents (unless they legally, officially cut ties but it rarely happen) have more power on the children than the foster parents (and they can take they children back whenever they want, even if it’s been 10+ years they didn’t see their kid and didn’t bother to come and see them, even if the children have been in a foster family for years and grew up there). And here comes a problem:

Is it Karen or Izana’s biological mom who has more power on Izana’s life?

By Japanese laws, it’s his biological mom (except if she went through the process of cutting ties with him but I doubt it) but it’s still Karen who was his father’s wife, who raised him, and who put him in the institution. But did she ever had ‘power’ on him? Since she didn’t gave birth to him, and is most likely not registered as his mother officially/legally.

Which brings me back to my Why-Did-Shinichiro-Went-to-The-Philippines-There’s-No-Other-Character-That-Can-Be-There-But-Izana’s-Biological-Mother questioning which I’m still not over with and won’t ever be.

Gotta wonder when and how he found out about Izana not being related by blood to him and Emma. Was it when he went to pick him up at the institution? Did he go see Karen once to get the permission to adopt Izana (really, it would’ve been Grandpa Sano officially)? Then went to the Philippines when she told him about how Izana wasn’t her kid? But going to the Philippines, first, cost money, second, he either did it just before or after his clash with Izana.

And. He asked Mikey how he’d feel if he had another big brother. Why didn’t he tell him there. What was your reasons Shinichiro. Why didn’t you bring Izana home.

I mean, there’s also the question of Izana going to Juvie and pushing a guy to commit suicide when he was twelve which shouldn’t have helped Shinichiro in his decision, but he’s the one to have shown Izana how to be a delinquent – sure, probably not like that, but who knows how Izana would’ve turned out if he hadn’t be shown the way.

Not going to bother on how Izana discovering he wasn’t related by blood to any of the Sano led him to stop interacting with Shinichiro (for a while) and then Shinichiro died (probably).

And we have no canonical evidence of Shinichiro being aware of Izana’s dependence on him for his mental stability; just like for Takeomi’s, so… Can’t talk about how Shinichiro sees Izana either. We just know that since the 8th gen, BD is not what it once was. Gotta wonder if the 8th gen happened before or after the clash, too. And the 9th.

And for Izana and Emma’s relationship… As children, they seemed rather close (for the little we saw of it), but they spent more than a decade apart. Emma most likely doesn’t remember him much (which wouldn’t help her wanting to see him again, he’s basically a stranger even if he’s her brother) and Izana… Had the institution. He felt too lonely, cut off, and he didn’t interact with her in years, she was a stranger to him as well. He has more memories with Shinichiro than with her. Kinda like Kazutora, he got rid of what he held dear and realized it too late. The only thing he didn’t realize too late was the importance of Kakucho in his life. Kakucho was truly the most constant person in his life. More than Shinichiro and S62.

Blood ties are very important in Japan, way more than in the western world where we are more opened to adoption (the adoption rate in Japan is disastrous), in Japan you are expected to have children and they have to be yours. Biologically. Learning he doesn’t have ‘biological family’ (his father’s dead, how could he possibly found his biological mother? Him and Shinichiro, him and Emma, aren’t siblings? The things he hold on, the things that made him go through it, isn’t real?) And even though Izana dies telling Mikey there’s ‘no way to save me, right?’, he also dies protecting Kakucho – who he isn’t related by blood to, but who spent most of his childhood, teenhood, whole life, with. He also dies with Emma on his mind, as his last question was both for Mikey and Emma (‘there’s no way to save me, right? Right? Emma’) – because at the end, even thought she became a stranger for him, she was still his little sister. Even thought he agreed to her murderer, he walks away as soon as he sees her, he knows what’s about to happen. And he didn’t smile or anything that showed it was happy with her soon-to-be death. Izana doesn’t know how to read people (thinking S62 only follows him because they’re scared of him) but he doesn’t know how to read himself either. (didn’t realize he had Kakucho until the end, didn’t realize he also had S62, didn’t realize he could’ve had Emma and Mikey if he came to meet them. And it’s not illogical. Izana truly felt lonely, at the institution, until Shinichiro came to see him, he had no one. Then he had had to wait his 12 to meet Kakucho, and then he met S62 in Juvie. Whereas Mikey got to see the ‘good’ sides of delinquency, Izana fully focused on the ‘bad’ sides of it (assaults, drugs dealing,…). As always, and that’s not news to anyone, Izana is a tragic character.)

Edit: if we decide to think about 'Mama Sano is the one to have raised her sons (and somehow Papa Sano got visitation rights if they got divorced)', then Mama Sano fell ill possibly after his death. If they were still together, the 'player Papa Sano' scenario is a bit more likely - but she seemed to have become close to Emma (as Emma heavily cried when Mama Sano died) still. I just want to know when did things happen in the timeline, Wakui pls

[nanawritesit]

EXO Reaction: You Have a Personality Similar to Baekhyun’s

Chen’s will be written platonically as I feel uncomfortable writing a romantic scenario for someone with a wife and two kids 😂

Xiumin:

Our oldest boy would vibe with your sense of humor soooo well. He’s close with Chen, so he’s used to the loud, mischevious, whiny type. Your relationship would be so balanced, he’s the chill, laid back one and you’re the hyper, fun one! He’s so patient with you and never makes you feel annoying, he just loves being around you because you always make him smile with your constant silliness :) He also always makes an effort to take you seriously. He knows that just because you’re goofy doesn’t mean you don’t have real feelings and opinions!

Suho:

I feel like your personality would just make Suho want to take care of you. (Because you remind him of his son LOL) He would totally baby you when you get all whiny, taking you into his arms and shushing you. He’s always so attentive, fixing your hair and tying your shoe for you so you don’t trip. You’re his pride and joy, and he loves showing other people how funny and adorable his partner is. He’d also be very upset if anyone took advantage of your positivity. He doesn’t get angry often, but when someone messes with you he gets scary. Overall, he thinks you’re so adorable and wants to constantly watch out for you like he does with Baekhyun!

Lay:

Our angel Yixing would simply die of cuteness overload at your personality. He adores you, and is always smiling that dimpley grin at your antics. Like Suho, he’d be a little protective to make sure you don’t get yourself into any predicaments, but he really just wants to watch you shine that unfiltered passion for living. He always makes sure you know how cute you are, punching your cheeks and kissing you on the nose when you’re being yourself. He’s been promoting in China so much that he misses his boys, and you definitely help him feel less down ❤️

Chen:

You were actually one of his wife’s friends, and he had gotten to know you better when you started watching the kids for them. Being a husband, father, and working man meant he didn’t have as much time to spend with his EXO members, so he really enjoyed talking with you. It was comforting almost, to know that he could find the same positivity and humor in another friendship. His wife thought it was funny how well the two of you got along, and was happy Chen had someone to chat with at the end of the day. She also had a secret plan to hook you up with Baekhyun one day by asking both of you to watch the kids on the same night, but wanted Chen to meet you himself first. After all, he’s very protective of his boy!

Chanyeol:

He felt like he had won the lottery. (I just hit the lotto la la la la HAHA IM SO FUNNY) How had he lucked out in finding the perfect best friend AND the perfect partner? With Chen being so busy with his new family, the beagle line had been missing a member, so you, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun were the perfect trio. Although, Channie would be lying if he said he didn’t prefer his time alone with you more. He loves how affectionate you are, always cuddling up to him and showering him in kisses. You’re his dream partner, and he couldn’t be more happy to have you.

D.O:

Oh my gosh, you are so lucky this man is in love with you, or you’d get the same treatment as Baekhyun 😂 He’s so very patient, and never wants to makes you feel annoying, but sometimes he gets a little overwhelmed! However, you’re very sweet and try your best to not direct all of your energy towards him. You only tease him a little bit, and try not to be too loud indoors. The two of you are very good at having your own downtime to do your separate activities, so by the time you see each other, you can enjoy each other’s presence! He also loves that you motivate him to come out of his shell, and conversely he shows you how to chill out. The two of you have a very healthy, communicative relationship despite your differences, and you both love each other a lot ❤️

Kai:

My guy is just happy to be here 😂 He can’t help but love every aspect of your personality. You make him laugh harder than anyone else does, and never fail to cheer him up when he’s feeling down. He’s very grateful to have your undying optimism and overflowing energy in his life, he really needs it sometimes. He tends to push himself too hard and forgets to enjoy his life, and you really help him remember :)

Sehun:

Sassy boy over here just can’t help but tease you any chance he gets. He’ll roll his eyes dramatically and tell you to quiet down when you get all hyper. A stranger would think he’s always annoyed with you, but you both knew that wasn’t the case. He always made fun of you with a smile on his face, and softly grabbed your hand in a certain way that let you know he was only joking. If you ever needed reassurance, he’d be happy to remind you that he wouldn’t be with you if he found you irritating. He loves your personality, you make every experience fun for him.

Baekhyun:

You thought I forgot about him? Nah, this is the grand finale! The two of you are insufferable to be around. You feed on each other’s chaotic energy, basically being a loud, mischievous, childish mess. If you weren’t so damn cute together, none of your friends would want to be seen with you in public! You’re obviously both extremely affectionate, always touching in some sort of way. Linking pinkies, slinging your arms around each others’ waists, back hugs, and pecks on the cheek we’re all displays of affection you used, not caring about the public’s reactions. You make each other so happy and are always there to pick the other up when they need a boost 🥰

[amyyythestarry]

Plz Mitsuba confuses the heck out of me.

Multiple days he wishes he wasn’t lonely, wishes he stays in everyone’s memory, wishes to be a normal human being, wishes to be with his friends forever and ever, wishes to exist and live.

Then one day he wakes up and decides he wants to get exorcized…

LIKE IT’S SO FKING CONFUSING, why did he come to that conclusion, how did he come to that conclusion??

He couldn’t have to just woken up and chosen masochism, couldn’t have just grown suicidal over night, right???

Now he wants to die, after all of that wishes for things to be better for him, wishing to be a human and to live and exist in the near shore, have friends, ect ect ect.

SOMEBODY NEEDS TO BE PAYING TSUKASA FOR THIS SHT BRO. 😭

SERIOUSLY, AFTER ALL OF THIS TIME WHEN TSUKASA WANTED MITSUBA’S WISH TO BE GRANTED, AFTER TRYING TO MAKE HIS DREAMS COME TRUE, Mitsuba wants to throw that all away????

It does not add up.

Tsukasa tried to get Mitsuba to stay in everyone’s memory, with little specific details from Mitsuba so he had to work with what he could do ( Because he isn’t a genie ). Then Mitsuba changed it so suddenly to “I want to have friends,” so Tsukasa figured he wanted to be friends with Kou. Then that whole thing didn’t work so he made another Mitsuba, hoping his wish would come true that time, Mit2uba wished to be human, Tsukasa tried making that come true giving the whole Picture Perfect arc, BUT THEN Mitsuba 2.0 started to rethink reality because of Kou and they broke out of the fake world.

I really can’t think of any other instances where Tsukasa tried granting Mitsuba’s wish, but heck that’s a lot to even do with little to work from because even after his wish becomes more specific, he keeps changing it.

And really, the only one who sees problem with this is me, Tsukasa doesn’t care that Mitsuba keeps changing his mind, he just wants to help make his dreams come true, no matter how many desires Mitsuba has. Because he’s extremely tolerable, patient, he believes people should have whatever they desire, there are no limits ( But somehow he claims he’s only wanted one thing, only ever had one wish granted ), which is realistic giving fking Mitsuba. He knows the desires are just gonna keep coming in, and he doesn’t care, he’ll tend to them.

It’s not a problem, though, it’s realistic. Humans are gonna keep wanting, and supernatural are professionals at dreaming and wanting things ( But ones like Hanako just don’t want to admit it ). I’m really just saying that I could never have as much tolerance and patients with Mitsuba as much as Tsukasa has.

Even with Hanako/Amane. Amane as a little kid wanted to be better, he wanted to be healthy like Tsukasa so he could live a normal and untroubled life. Tsukasa granted that wish, with none of that benefitting him because he then was trapped in the Red House, only to figure out that Amane was going to die sooner than intended, at 13. Throwing away all of Tsukasa’s efforts.

But still, Tsukasa still doesn’t mind all of that, he still wants to see what Amane most desires, just like how he is with Mitsuba.

I could never, as soon as they come up with another fking wish I’m quitting my job. 💀

I wonder what Tsukasa would think and do if Mitsuba announced to him that he wanted to disappear ( Or, if that was just a thought for that moment, and he doesn’t really want that???? ). How could he make that wish come true? Make Mitsuba disappear. Canonly, Mitsuba says he doesn’t want to go down meaninglessly ( I hate him, now he’s being too specific ), wants to be exorcised my Kou ( FOR TOTAL MASOCHISTIC REASONS YOU CAN’T MAKE ME NOT BELIEVE THAT ).

But I’m really frustrated that he doesn’t come to Tsukasa for that. Tsukasa is and always will be the one to grant his wishes, Kou can’t do that as Tsukasa can ( I still love Kou don’t give me wrong, he’s trying his best ). Now, Mitsuba’s just totally closed off from Tsukasa, he doesn't want Tsukasa to figure out he has anymore wishes, he doesn’t want to give in to his desires like Tsukasa wants him too.

I don’t know, I feel like Mitsuba is just being a pVssy, he’s gone too deep in these wishes and desires, why is he stopping now? Why does he want to disappear so suddenly?? ( If anyone knows plz let me know I cannot figure him out )

Conclusion, everyone needs to appreciate Tsukasa.

( This also goes into the thought ‘what would they think if Tsukasa were to disappear?’ Would Mitsuba’s desire to let go be stronger, would he break down, would he pretend that everything’s fine, would he hide from the fact that Tsukasa wouldn’t come back, OR would he give in to all of his desires afterwards because Tsukasa wanted him to, as a type of coping mechanism??? )

Questions, questions.

I really want this whole Clock Keepers business to be over with so we can get to Tsukasa and Mitsuba ( Mitsu’s yorishiro and yorishiro Tsu ).

I swear it’s gonna be Tsumitsu in the future.

[questionableratatouille00]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ ɪ’ʟʟ ʙᴇ ꜱᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ (ɪꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ’ᴍ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ)

Pairing: Stucky/Stevebucky

Summary: it’s a lament I guess

Warnings: talks of abuse and domestic violence, child abuse, religion is heavily mentioned, religious imagery(???), death, sadness, homophobia, internal homophobia, slight mention of suicidal ideation. Let me know if more needs to be tagged.

When he fell off that train, James Buchanan Barnes died. When James Buchanan Barnes’ empty grave was filled with dirt, he was truly gone.

Steve would never see him again. He would never see his perfectly styled—‘but casual,’ Bucky had always reminded him—hair again. He would never stare into those beautiful steel blue eyes again. He would never bundle into Bucky’s warmth during the cold winter nights in Brooklyn in their occasionally shared bed. He would never smell that familiar scent, the pine trees with a hint of sandalwood and something else that was so inherently Bucky.

He would never feel the soft and warm touch of Bucky’s fingers against his chin as he helped Steve shave a spot he’d missed. Not that he grew much facial hair anyway. But he liked pretending that there was something to shave.

These days, he’s positive that he could grow a beard or a mustache if he really wanted to. Product of the Serum.

He doesn’t know how he feels about the Serum anymore. It feels like everything that came from it came with a price.

He can grow a beard now, but he has no hair on any other place on his body beside his head. And that’s literal; the only hair he has—his scalp, his brows, his lashes, his potential beard, and even his ear and nose hair.

He got what he wanted, too. A strong and healthy body. Strength. Speed. Quicker healing.

But the price for that was higher, too. He lost what he actually cared about. Bucky. His home in Brooklyn. Bucky. His peace. Bucky. Occasionally, his morals, too. Like when he was so eager for revenge on HYDRA. And he lost Bucky, too.

He didn’t know why he kissed Peggy. Part of him thinks that he did it because he thought he was expected to. But it wasn’t like he was in front of a crowd with the Star Spangled Singers, so who was he performing for?

Another part of him thought he was doing it because he liked her. Which he did, that wasn’t a complete lie. She was pretty, and smart, and confident. And she seemed to like him enough. And even before the Serum, she liked him more than any other woman had besides his mother. His Ma. He missed her. And he missed Bucky.

Even after his Ma died, he saw her everywhere. He saw her in the 40s, in the nurses who worked with the 107th after he rescued them. He saw her in some of the girls who danced on stage with him, their sparkling eyes and mischievous grins and their soft hands and faces when they were worried about him.

He saw her in the future, too. He saw her in pots of coffee, he saw her in mothers watching their children who sat next to him on the benches at the park as he was sketching the birds, he saw her in himself sometimes, too. In his blond hair, in his sense of right and wrong. Sometimes he felt like he was losing that.

But what seeing her in all of these places taught him was that even after people died and went to Heaven or wherever people go when they die, (Steve wasn’t really sure anymore, not after what he’d seen) they weren’t really gone.

He didn’t know if Heaven was real or not. He was raised Catholic, and even if his Ma couldn’t afford to feed herself some nights, she did make sure he got to go to church. When he was thirteen, he had a phase where he really didn’t want to go.

And his Ma didn’t make him go. He was lucky like that; some kids he knew (or knew of, he didn’t have very many friends during that time of his life) had rebelled against their parents and didn’t want to go, and their parents would beat them as a punishment.

His Ma never hit him. Intentionally, that was. Of course, she’d bumped into him a few times, but she’d never hurt him on purpose.

He knew Bucky’s dad beat him. Not all the time, only when he’d done something his father deemed ‘bad’ enough. Bucky didn’t like to talk about it.

In the future, such things are considered abuse, and people care about it. People can and do go to jail for it, now. Steve was glad.

He ended up going to church again a few weeks after the phase started and inevitably finished. He believed in it enough, and he knew it made his Ma happy.

But even so, it all didn’t seem to stick after he came out of the ice. He didn’t know if there was a God or not, but he guessed he’d find out later, right?

But it wasn’t just his Ma who’d he see in things. He’d see Bucky, too. He’d see Bucky in little boys who were pushing their sisters on the swings at the park, he’d see Bucky in guys who went to comic book stores and other ‘nerdy’ places.

He saw Bucky’s curious mind in Bruce, he saw his stress for the people he cared about in Tony. He saw him in Nat, who cared about him and his health. He saw him in Wanda, who cared and stressed so deeply about the world it occasionally gave her headaches or made her sick. He saw him in Pietro, too, when the kid was still alive. In Pietro’s charm, his flirtatious nature when he talked to the Sokovian girls he saved.

He saw his loyalty in Sam. He saw his marksmanship in Clint. He saw his cleverness in Scott.

He saw his intelligence in Thor. Just like Bucky, Thor was really, really smart. People would assume that he wasn’t due to the fact that he was Asgardian and not from Earth, or because he’s so handsome that even if he was as dumb as a rock it wouldn’t matter.

People in the forties knew Bucky was smart, he was well educated and he talked like he was smart, along with the fact that he knew a lot about a lot of things. He had to be smart to be a sniper.

But people never knew just how smart Bucky was. Bucky was much smarter than Steve ever was, and likely ever would be.

In that awful museum exhibit, they have a few small bits about him and Bucky. Not enough to show how much they meant to each other, and on that Steve was sure. They didn’t even talk about his Ma, besides mentioning that he was born to her. They had messed up her name, too. That made Steve angry. Not even angry, enraged, really.

His Ma was his biggest influence, one of the most important people in his life and not only did they not even care enough to talk about her, but they messed up her name. Her name was Sarah Rogers, not Sara Rogers.

It wasn’t the only error. A popular belief about him was that his birthday was July 4th. That wasn’t true. It’s what he’d said on one of his enlistment forms. Just like he changed his city and state, he’d changed his birthday, too. It would make it easier if he was caught. Nobody would believe that that many Steve Rogers were born on the same day. His real birthday was December 22nd. Nobody alive knew about that. The Howlies didn’t, Peggy didn’t, Commander Phillips didn’t, nobody did. Except for Bucky. And that secret was buried in his empty grave. None of those historians would’ve known it. Those historians sure liked to focus on him and Peggy, though. He didn’t know how he felt about that.

He only kissed her once. Which, he guessed, meant a lot, considering he didn’t kiss very many people.

If anyone asked him about his first kiss, he’d say it was a girl from Brooklyn. He made up a name for her and everything. Charlotte Darlene. He wasn’t sure if Darlene was meant to be a second first name or a last name, but nobody ever asked, so it didn’t matter.

But that was another lie about him. There were a lot of those, he realized.

The truth is that his first kiss wasn’t Charlotte Darlene. It wasn’t a girl from Brooklyn, either. It wasn’t a girl at all.

It was Bucky.

Bucky was a lot of Steve’s firsts. He was his first best friend, his first kiss, his first Coney Island buddy, he was his first housemate, and he was the first person to destroy him, too.

He could remember that kiss. That was the worst part.

They were having a sleepover at Steve’s house. His Ma was at work, she was wouldn’t be home until late. They’d built a pillow fort in front of the couch using it, its cushions, and the sheets off Steve’s bed. It was small, so the two 14 and 15 year old boys were pressed up against each other. They were talking about something stupid, like girls in their class that they liked.

Bucky was talking about how there was this pretty girl, Nancy Laurel, that he had a crush on.

Nancy Laurel was a pretty girl. She was thin, and her family was well off. So was Bucky’s, but then again so was nearly everyone compared to Steve. Nancy’s eyes were a bright blue, like the sky or the ocean on a sunny day. Her skin was pale, but when she blushed it made her cheeks a beautiful pink. Her hair was blonde, always neatly styled in soft and gentle waves or curls.

The air in the small blanket and pillow fort was hot from their laughter, and as they quit laughing for a minute, they just smiled at each other. Steve could remember what Bucky looked like, his cheeks a light pink and his smile wide. His eyes sparkled, and they were so beautiful it made Steve want to ask God to strike him down right then and there.

That was when Bucky quickly leaned in and kissed him. Steve knew he intended it to be a quick peck, but something made Bucky linger there for a minute before he pulled away.

Both boys stared at each other again. But this time, it wasn’t a small pause in conversation filled with bright smiles. It was a sense of fear shared between them. He could see the shame and instant regret on Bucky’s face; the poor boy looked like he was seeing the devil at that very moment. Steve didn’t think he looked like that. All Steve felt was shock, and a hint of fear. That was wrong, and he knew it was wrong. Boys don’t kiss boys, boys kiss girls and fall in love with them and get married and have kids. That was that.

Steve didn’t believe in that anymore, nor did he ever really believe in it back then.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky’s eyes watered. “I’m sorry.” And then he rushed out.

It was a Friday night that night. Bucky and Steve didn’t talk until the following Monday, where Steve hoped he was making it clear that he just wanted to forget about it and pretend it never happened. And Bucky seemed to agree, because the 17 year old boy never brought it up again.

They didn’t have any more sleepovers until the following month after that. It was December when that happened. Steve’s last sleepover as a 16 year old boy was the most memorable one he’d ever had.

Steve found his grave a couple of months after the Battle of New York. He was buried in Brooklyn. His grave was nice enough. He was buried in front of an angel statue. She was a beautiful angel, with her head tilted slightly down as she looked upon the graves. Particularly, upon Bucky’s empty one.

“I see him everywhere,” He told Natasha as they stood on the roof of a HYDRA building they’d just cleared out. She said nothing at that.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. When we find him.” He confessed. She looked at him, a knowing look in her eyes.

“You’ll figure it out. I’m guessing you’re not going to hand him to the authorities? Or the government?”

“Hell no.” He huffed out a laugh. “I..I can’t force him to stay. But if he agrees to go back to the states with us, I’ll let him stay with me. Like we did back in the forties.”

“Steve.” She hummed, and he looked at her. She held his gaze as she continued. “I know you want to have him back. But the guy you’re looking for is not the same guy who fell from that train. I know you want him to be, but he will never be that again.” Natasha Romanoff was a good friend. She was a good friend because she was honest. Even if sometimes he didn’t want her to be.

He looked back out towards the woods the building was concealed by. He tried to ignore the stinging in his eyes and the burning in this throat as he answered.

“I know.” There was silence after that.

[elvisabutler]

how many kids do professor presley and belle have? (I imagine 2 or 3) omg the part that really got to me is when he’s being absent and she’s worried sick! can we headcanon where maybe its months later and he gets sick again and doesn’t show up and she leaves right away and stays w him for two to three days despite him urging her to go to class? and when she’s pregnant he takes vitamins/eats better/goes on walks all bc he doesn’t want to add any stress on her by getting sick himself? i imagine by the time she graduates she’s already 3-4 months but it isn’t noticeable but they know. And he always assures her he isn’t going anywhere any time soon bc he has to be around to help her take care of their young ones

my main thought has always been four at least so you're not far off my dear sweet anon. and listen, that was always my way of trying to lean into the big daddy era elvis i set for the two of them. because he wasn't going to ever have a drug problem- in that he sort of nipped the one he developed in the army driving the tanks in the bud when he got back and found- well- that bit's a long story but suffice it to say so i don't detract from the point of this ask, i really just wanted something that had the effect of scaring belle and bringing them closer together. mildly unleashing her helpful nature that most people never really- bothered to relish in/get to really know about.

but we most certainly can headcanon that since she definitely would do exactly that. because she'd be in bed with him when he realized it was going to be a rough day, a bad day that would mean staying home and he'd try to kick her out of the bed to go to class only to have her tell him that she would be doing no such thing and honestly babying him and just trying to nurse him back to health/help him with whatever he'd need. finally manages to kick her out on that third day when he's like "goddamn belle, already feelin' loads better just go to class, ain't gonna die if ya leave me be for a few hours." and she of course smacks him in the chest for even the implication before you know- actually going to class. comes home to find him cooking a little tiredly but that's when she knows okay he's on the mend, he's fine.

and yes you're right about him taking better care of himself when she finds out she's pregnant. though he does start once she moves in since she's having none of this "him still living like a bachelor" bullshit let alone smoking as many cigars as he does/being as sedentary as he is. she gets why he has been but it's nothing she can't cure with a bunch of bullying all the pre med majors she knows. because even before she gets pregnant she just want him to be healthy for her. especially since he says and i quote. "belle, i might- i don't know if i can give ya kids." which makes the accidental pregnancy right before she graduates hilarious in hindsight.

as far as her first pregnancy goes since it's twins she shows pretty early despite not necessarily being on the thin side. so people know when she graduates and i'm saving the bulk of this for a headcanon post i got from another anon asking for more headcanons but she's going to eventually be teaching so she's immediately gonna be heading right back in to get some requirements sorted out so that she can take over an empty spot in the department. because nepotism or not elvis makes a case for her as do multiple other professors- not the ones she slept with mind you- that she'd do well as one.

basically anon i love you for this ask and you already basically get what i had planned out to be perfectly honest. i'm also truly and deeply delighted that him missing classes his as good as it did.

[dragonmuse]

Is there a timeline where Jim meets Izzy and Eddy before they meet Olu? When Izzy and Eddy are still working together and Jim is angry and willing to kill? Maybe knowing Jim earlier helps Eddy come out sooner, but I can’t imagine they’re all good influences on each other…

(another anon asked what would happen if Lucius met Izzy as a college student without age changes and I smashed the two together. This one has a lot of implied darkness. Let's called "I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it')

-“Izzy!” Eddy calls to him and no matter how deep he is in work, Izzy rises. “Bring your kit.”

Shit. Is Eddy bleeding out or do they just need advil? Izzy grabs the first aid kit, better stocked then most and goes to Eddy’s office. They looks fine when he walks in but the kid crumpled in the guest chair is bleeding from a cut on the forehead that looks rough as hell. 

“They stepped in front of a knife for me,” Eddy said with a frown. “That Ficus guy with the grudge. They fought like a fucking demon.”

“Nothing,” the kid hisses out. “Easy as breathing.” 

“Sounds like you’re having a fuck load of trouble doing that right now,” Izzy frowned. “Stabbed where?” 

They glare at him, at Eddy. “I can take care of myself.” 

“Yeah,” Eddy says with a look in their eyes Izzy recognizes. An idea is forming. “But you don’t have to. You want to be sewn up or not?” 

The kid doesn’t answer. Izzy can smell blood. 

“You want to bleed on the furniture or you want to get patched up?” He demands. 

“Fine,” they grumble and down their shirt. There’s a sluggish bleeding wound on their shoulder. 

“Time to play seamstress, Iz,” Eddy decides. “Where’d you learn to throw knives like that?” 

“Around,” the kid says. They’ve got dark eyes, long dark hair that hasn’t seen a professional’s scissors in a long time. But they’re fed, thin, but not overly so. Their lips are chapped, but otherwise healthy looking. Someone’s been keeping at least half an eye out.   

“Why’d you stop that guy from taking me out?” Eddy presses on. 

“Dunno. Not in the mood to see someone die because they were distracted by a cat.” 

“A cat?” Izzy repeats, incredulously as he starts to clean the area around the cut.  

“It jumped right in front of me,” Eddy says without shame. “Who expects a cat to come out of nowhere? Anyway, doesn’t matter. The kid was there. You got a name?” 

They hesitate and Izzy wipes away a streak of blood. “We don’t need a fucking real one. Just something so we don’t call you kid all night.” 

“I mean we might anyway,” Eddy says honestly. 

“I-” They clenched their hands in their lips. “You can call me Jim.” 

Izzy is up close and personal just now. They don’t look like a Jim, but that’s none of his fucking buisness. He’s just going to sew up their shit and hopefully send them on their way, no more the wiser. There’s numbing spray and he jets it on. The kid doesn’t flinch even though it’s cold. 

“Nice to meet you, Jim,” Eddy sits on the edge of their desk, arms folded, legs crossed.  “You still in school or what?” 

“Or what.” 

Izzy waits for the numbing spray to kick in, gets out the suture kit. He’s gotten better with this stuff over the years, for better or for worse. 

“You finish out high school?” 

“What’s it matter to you?” 

It’s been a long time since someone sassed Eddy that way and Izzy has no idea how she’ll take it. It’s the kind of thing she’ll either think is hysterical or deadly serious. 

Eddy laughs. Izzy picks up the needle. 

“The thing is, Jim, I’ve never seen anyone fight the way you fought and I like new fighting styles.” 

“That a hobby?” They grunted as Izzy pierced their skin. Still no flinching. 

“That’s a job,” Eddy said evenly and Izzy paused, then pulled the thread through. They didn’t hire kids. It wasn’t something they’d talked about even, just a silent understanding.  “If you’ve got a high school diploma.” 

“I don’t need a job.” 

“No? Not even one with full time hours, health insurance and a 401k?” 

“...what kind of health insurance?” 

“Everything, including dental and vision. ‘Course that’s cause sometimes your teeth get knocked out and we see a lot of sudden bright lights, but that’s part of the fun.” 

“What the fuck do you guys do?” Jim asked. Izzy put in another stitch. It would take five or six, he could tell already.   

“We’re security for hire. High-end only. Goods transfers, high-profile parties, chauffeuring the elite, whatever pays top dollar. Jobs go by seniority and skills required, but everyone gets paid.” 

“What if I had...a side project?” They asked. 

Izzy watched their flesh come together. 

“You planning on getting caught?” 

“No.” 

“As long as it doesn’t interfere with the work and you stay off the radar, then I don’t give two shits what you do in your off time. The first time I catch wind that it is, you’d be terminated.” 

“That sounds final.” 

“I don’t leave loose threads.” 

Izzy tied off the end. Six stitches. It’d heal clean most likely. A year from now, they’d have nothing to show for it, but a faint white line. 

-Jim is 19 as it turns out. Izzy finds out as he photocopies their ID for the records.  He brings the file to Eddy while Jim is waiting in the conference room. 

“19,” he hands Eddy the folder. 

“They’re already in it,” Eddy doesn’t take it. ‘What do you want? We can’t turn back the clock for them. But we can give them a place to be useful instead of waiting tables while they bide their time.” 

And that was probably true enough. Izzy pulled the folder back to himself. 

“Fine. It’s done. They’re legal name-” 

“Doesn’t matter,” Eddy cut him off. “Who cares? As long as it runs clean, they’re Jim.” 

“Jim,” Izzy sighed. “Guess it’s better than Fang.” 

“I like Fang,” Eddy shrugged. “Anyway, I’m going to need you to train Jim up. Not like I’ve got the time.” 

“And I do?” Izzy demanded. “With what extra hours in who’s extra day?”

“Dunno. But I think they’re more in your line than mine anyway. Can’t do anything until I get the Bellville job squared away, can I?” 

And since it had been Izzy that had pointed that out earlier, he didn’t have a leg to stand on. Shit. 

“Yes, boss.” 

-Izzy trains Jim. It’s not hard to figure out what Eddy saw him them. They move fast, they learn quick and they are incredibly good with knives. But close up work isn’t all they do, so Izzy takes them to a shooting range and puts a gun in their hands. 

“I prefer knives.”  

“Yeah, how long do you think you’ll live holding a knife when the other side has semi-automatics? We don’t go out looking for that shit, but it finds us anyway. You gotta know which way goes bang at least.” 

“Fuck off,” they hefted the gun, listened to the saftey lecture he gave, and then took aim. The first few rounds went wide, but by the end of the first session, they were hitting center mass. 

“Come on then,” he took them to the backroom and handed them a clipboard. “Fill that out. Then meet me at the counter.” 

They found him not long after. Their handwriting was good, a rigid clear copperplate.   

“This shelf,” he pointed down. “Any of those’ll work. You can test them out first. I’d recommend it. Then it’s a 24 hour hold, you come back and pick it up.” 

“I can’t afford-” 

“Paid for by the company. It’s part of your equipment. On the job, you carry unless you get told different. Off the job, that’s up to you.” 

“Even if I get the one with the ivory handle?” They ask, gesturing to it. 

It’s an overdecorated piece, fake ivory and intricate carvings. It’s showy and ridiculous, but he knows the specs underneath and it’ll do the same damage as a bland one. 

“It’s your piece. Guys’ll definitely give you shit for it.” 

“Let them try,” they decided. “That’s the one I want.” 

-So in theory training Jim is easy enough. They learn fast, they’re quiet for the most part. Sometimes they do shit that reminds Izzy that he’s dealing with a teenager like when they try to climb the side of a building and almost wipe out themselves and Blue Toby in the process or when they get a game of slaps going on a slow day (of course no one else as the excuse of being a teenager when they go along with it and Izzy give anyone trying to complain about sore hands extra bullshit work to do). 

-In reality, it’s giving Izzy some sleepless nights and he doesn’t know why. Jim is cocky and sometimes over confident. If they’re like that in the wrong job, they’ll be dead, so there’s that. But there’s also...he just keeps thinking of the first time he took them out. 

Routine job, easy enough. Nobody tries anything, they’re basically set dressing. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Nine out of ten times, that’s how it is. Jim struts around with their fancied up gun and their hair falling in their face. They kill flies with the tip of their knife and the guys are impressed enough by that that most of the hazing doesn’t go down. 

There’s a perimeter breech, turns out to be nothing, but Jim sits beside him and watches the security feed so they can see how the guys run it down for next time. And they say easy as anything, 

“I could knife ‘em from where Solmon is standing.” 

And it was cool and calculated and Izzy knew that fucking tone. Maybe that’s what kept him up. 

-”How’s Jim getting on?” Eddy asks when they come back from the Bellville job, cash in hand, none the worse for wear. 

“Their quick. Too confident sometimes.” 

“Worse things,” Eddy deemed. “Going to take them to Dublin next month?” 

“If you want them there. Could be of use.” 

-Jim kills a man in Dublin. They do it fast. Quiet. Izzy can find no way to complain. So instead, he shows them the protocol. The body is disposed of. He was undeniably a piece of shit that the world is probably better off without. 

“Was that okay?” they ask him as they put their clothes into a bag to burn. They’re in a loose change, borrowed off Eddy.   

Izzy looks at their wide eyes, the hard set of their mouth. It’s already done. 

The first time Izzy had killed someone, Eddy had grabbed his arm with bruising intensity and not let go through the entirety of Hornigold’s interrogation. When it was over, she’d dragged him into a coat closet and given him a hickey so intense that he had to wear his collar turned up for a solid week. He’d touched that bruise like a talisman for months after it disappeared. 

“Yeah, kid, you did good,” he says. “Let’s talk about what the fuck you don’t do for next time.” 

-Jim is worth five other assholes by the end of their first year. They are efficient, not burdened with sadism or unwarranted softness. They throw knives with killer accuracy that’s only matched by their accuracy with bullets. They brawl with the best of them, uncaring of the consequences to their own body.  

“You did good with them,” Eddy declares as they watch Jim knock out a guy by headbutting him. They’re just out for drinks, but the bar fight got going and it seems to be burning off steam for a few of them. Eddy and Izzy are standing at the outskirts, watching the mayhem. 

“Did I?” Izzy doesn’t feel the usual fizzy pleasure at Eddy’s compliment. 

“Yeah,” she put her arm around his shoulders. “Really brought out their potential or whatever bullshit they say on performance evaluations.” 

“Sure.” 

-”Come on you have too, boss.” 

“I’m not your boss,” Izzy reminds them. 

“Whatever, you basically are. And you call Eddy that all the time.” 

“Because they actually are my boss.” 

“Don’t be boring. Come out with me. Real ID and everything.” 

He’d helped Jim with the name change paperwork. It had been a mercy to make them stop pestering him about it and then loudly complaining in his vicinity. They were a fucking pill. So now they had a real ID and fuck if they hadn’t turne 21 right on time to put their mitts on it. 

“Take one of the guys.” 

Jim glances over at the conference room. They’re not rowdy today, just watching some shitty day time programming and talking about some woman on the shows tits. Not their best showing. Jim turns back to him. 

“I just want...” they trail off. 

It’s their fucking brithday and there’s no one. Izzy knows that. Knows the date. Knows that he spend his own twenty-second standing guard over a bored socialite and the date went by unremarked. Jim could live with the same. 

“One drink,” he says, gets his coat as they do a little triumphant dance. 

“Hell yeah! I choose the bar, you’re paying.” 

“I didn’t agree to that,” he says, but he’s already resigned. 

-The bar is a dive, but a manufactured one. Lots of upscale twenty-somethings ‘soaking up the atmosphere’. He looks like he’s there to enforce their curfews which he could do without. But the drinks are decent.  

“Jim!” The bartender with fluffy hair  and in no way drinking age himself, greets Jim with a wide grin. 

“Read it and weep,” they slap the ID on the bar. 

“Look at that,” he picks it up and studies it. “Happy birthday!  Love to pour you a drink. What’ll it be?” 

“Fuck me up,” they say with a grin. “And get him something too.” 

“Vodka tonic,” Izzy says, feels the bartender’’s eyes slide over him. “You want my ID too?” 

“Nah,” and he actually has the fucking audacity to reach out and poke Izzy right in the middle of the forehead. “Those speak for you. You need something strong, been thinking too hard.” 

Izzy does not reach out and break the bartender’s hand, but it’s a near thing. The bartender seems to read that, dropping his hand away though his smile doesn’t dim. 

“Vodka tonic,” Izzy orders. 

“Uh huh, you got it.” 

The drink takes a while to reach him, but it’s good when it does. The food isn’t bad either and Jim gets steadily drunker, milking Izzy’s platinum card for all it’s worth. He’d said one drink and he’d meant it, but it wasn’t a hardship to sit there and have another. 

Or to come back a few weeks later. 

Or a few weeks after that. 

Izzy’s never been a regular anywhere. It’s not so bad. Lucius, the bartender, always builds him out a vodka tonic without being asked and greets him with a smile. He doesn’t try to touch him again, but he does call Izzy ‘Jim’s hot boss’ within earshot which is uncomfortable. 

Lucius is a freshman in college. Izzy will be thirty-seven next month.  And he’s straight so. Who the fuck cares? Who cares if sometimes he just wants to go somewhere where someone recognizes him and makes him a drink he likes and implies that he’s fuckable? Is that a goddamn sin? 

-Izzy gives Jim point on a small job. The guys are dickheads about it because of seniority and other age related bullshit.  When they come back, the job is done and two of the least reliable of them quit. 

“I’m giving them a bonus,” Izzy finishes the report to Eddy. 

“What for?” 

“They got the job done better than anyone else could’ve and they were fighting their own team the whole team. You want to keep them or you want Jackie to get them?” 

Eddy considers, then nods. “Do it.” 

-”Listen,” Jim slams their hands down on Izzy’s desk. The report he’d been writing now has a line of incoherent characters. 

“What. The. Fuck.” He demands. 

“I’m not a girl,” they tell him. “Use they/them for me from here on out.” 

“....what?” 

“They/them. This isn’t fucking hard, boss. You got it or what?” 

Izzy has no fucking idea what they’re on about, but for all Jim’s face is calm, their voice is choked and tight. He can google later. 

“Fine, fuck, whatever. They/them,” he repeats and they sit down hard in a chair. “How long has this been brewing?” 

“My whole goddamn life.” 

Izzy shifts in his chair. It smells like a storm in here. 

“You know the guys’ll be dicks about it.” 

“Then I’ll stab them,” they say easy as breathing. 

They do stab two people over it. People they can afford to lose, but Izzy has to explain it to Eddy. He stumbles over it, unfamiliar words on this tongue. 

“You can do that?” Eddy asks instead of a dozen other things that had come to Izzy’s mind. 

“Apparently,” he mutters. 

“Huh,” Eddy leans back in their chair, puts their feet up on the desk. The piles are low right now. A good mood has settled over the office and Izzy just hopes this isn’t something that’ll tip it the wrong way. “What’d they call it again?” 

“Nonbinary,” Izzy repeats dutifully. He’d read for hours and it makes no more sense to him than it did when Jim said it first, but he knows he doesn’t want to get stabbed and he’d rather have Jim in whatever form they choose then any of the guys that they easily took out.   

“Wild. Kids these days, huh?” Eddy barks a laugh, slaps at Izzy’s thigh. “Well fine, I didn’t like those motherfuckers anyway. Maybe we should just put Jim in charge of H.R. they’re efficient.” 

-Jim spends more time with Eddy after that. Izzy can’t pin down when it starts. Sometimes he sees them going into Eddy’s office, coming out hours later and it becomes more and more regular.  He wants to ask, but there’s no way in that won’t make him sound like he’s insanely jealous or worse. And maybe he is. He can’t remember the last time he sat in Eddy’s guest chair and just shot the shit. 

-Lucius changes bars. Jim, thinking they’re very casual, takes Izzy out for drinks at the new place. They smirk when Izzy catches sight of Lucius. 

“What? You think no one else can make vodka soda?” he scoffs. He isn’t relieved when Lucius lights up immediately and comes over. 

“I thought I’d seen the last of you,” Lucius grins at Izzy. “Jim said you don’t like places like this.” 

Izzy hadn’t registered the place. It’s bougie, fake rustic and full of people that he loathes on principal. 

“Still serves booze,” Izzy shrugs. “Fine by me.” 

-Eddy stops going out on Friday nights, but makes Saturday night appearances. No one seems to care, but Izzy. And after a few weeks of that shit, he decides he can take a night off from that bullshit too. Maybe he goes to a bougie fuckugly bar and gets his vodka tonic from a man that smiles at him. It was just a bar. It was just a drink. 

He thinks he should strike up a conversation with one of the lonely heart women that sometimes sit besides him, but that seems like a lot of work. 

Fuck, Izzy is tired. 

-Jim is with him on the fatal Friday night. Hard to get pissed over it, it was their bar and their bartender first.  Neither of them are going hard. Just a slow steady buzz and enough french fries to line four people’s stomachs. They close the place down, though neither of them are talking much. The last job broke bad, they’re both nursing hurts and groggy brains. 

Lucius shoos them off with a laugh and they both pause outside for a bit. Izzy lights a cigarette he’s been carrying around for emergencies and Jim makes pleading eyes at him until he shares it. They blow smoke into the cool night air. 

They react to the gunshots almost before they hear them. Jim goes low, Izzy goes high and they break down the locked door without discussion. 

Lucius is behind the bar, ducked low and shaking. There are two people bleeding on the floor. The gunman raises the pistol to Izzy. 

Izzy and Jim shoot as one. Gunman goes over in a heap.  

“Who the fuck are you people?” Lucius demands. 

Jim goes and kicks at the corpses, “Dunno them. Boss?” 

“No,” he determines. “Did anyone start talking before shots went off?” 

“What?” Lucius asks, voice breaking. “Are you cops?” 

“Fuck no,” they both bark. 

“Then who are you?” Luciu demands. “Because I knew the owner was mob, but I figured that just meant we wouldn’t get robbed.” 

“Mob,” Izzy says flatly. 

“Yeah? I mean you know, the defanged modern mob that just owns businesses and talks big?” Lucius grips the bar white knuckled.  

“You can’t stay here,” Jim says immediately. 

“Why not?” 

“Because you just witnessed a hit. And it went wrong,” Izzy sighs. “Jim?” 

“No way, boss, I barely fit at my place.” 

“There’s the safe house.” 

“You’re gonna burn that over this?” Jim frowns. “Could blow over.” 

“Burn what? I think I should...” Lucius sank down behind the bar. His voice rose from the floor. “That’s a lot of blood.” 

“He’s going into shock,” Izzy pulled off his coat. “I’ll...I’ll just take him to mine. No one knows us here. No reason to connect dots. Let him lay low a few days, figure things out.” 

-Lucius does not want to go, but he’s also definitely in shock and not hard to bully, which Jim does expertly. It’s the first time Jim sees Izzy’s place, but if they have any smartass comments about it, Izzy is spared for that night. They just help him get Lucius settled on the couch, then disappear to do follow up research. 

“I didn’t see anything,”Lucius tells Izzy as he hands him a glass of water. “I won’t turn you in. I promise.”

“Doesn’t work like that,” Izzy sits down beside him. 

“Are you going to kill me?” 

Probably be easier. But Izzy wasn’t in the habit of bumping off bystanders. 

“No. Gonna make sure no one else does either.” 

-They lay low a few days, but eventually Izzy has to go back to the office and given the choice of leaving Lucius to poke around his things, possibly running off to put himself in danger or just dragging him along, the latter is the obvious choice. 

“So this is the witness?” Eddy circles into Izzy’s office before anyone has their coat off. 

“Lucius,” Lucius sticks out his hand, eyes wild. “My name is Lucius.” 

“All right then, Lucius,” Eddy shakes his hand with a small smile. “You going to be useful or a pain in the ass?” 

“Why not both?” 

“Ha! Why not? Iz, I need the proposal for the new client, where are we at?” 

“I’ll email you the draft. Numbers might need adjustment.” 

“Yeah?” Eddy signals a question behind Lucius’ back and Izzy signals back. Safe, harmless.  Eddy tilts her head to the side. Izzy never uses that sign. 

“Yeah,” he affirms. “Give me ten.” 

-Lucius gets bored after an hour. He wanders out before Izzy can stop him and apparently just charms the hell out of Ivan and Fang, who have been left behind on the current gig. They’re laughing along with him and when Izzy sends off the proposal (an hour later, it was in worse shape than he’d recalled), he gets up to wrangle him only to find that Lucius is holding Ivan’s hand in his and listening to him with serious intent.

“You should tell her,” Lucius says. “I bet she feels the same way. Lots of people are shy.” 

“You think?” 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Izzy demands. 

“Izzy!” Fang smiles up at him. “Thanks for bringing Lucius in. Really insightful. Want us to get everyone lunch?” 

“...yeah,” he is hungry and Lucius eats more regularly than him. Izzy had to cook more the last few days than he usually does for himself in a month. A hardship easily lifted by the way Lucius had been excited for every meal despite the circumstances. 

-Lucius comes with him every day. There’s no hint anyone is looking for him and after a few weeks, Izzy suggests that Lucius can go back to classes. 

“But I should stay with you?” Lucius checks and he sounds...like he wants to? 

“Yeah, that’d be smart,” Izzy says bemused. It would be. And anyway, Izzy is away more than he’s there. It’s fine if someone else uses his bed when he’s not there.  

-Lucius doesn’t go back to his dorm. Jim finds out by apparently just asking and they close the door to Izzy’s office and hiss, “Are you out of your fucking mind?” 

“What now?” He saves his document, just in case. 

“You’re moving him in? Is this some...sugar baby bullshit?” 

“What? Fuck you, no,” he hisses right back. “I’m not fucking him.” 

“You’re not?” Jim blinks. “Jesus fuck, why not?” 

“None of your goddamn business. I’m your boss, you can’t ask me that shit.” 

“I just did. Going to fire me?” 

He can’t fire Jim. Jim is half the staff at this point. 

And...damnit, but Izzy likes the horrible demon that lodged themselves under his ribs. 

“Leave it.” 

“No. What is wrong with you?” 

“Nothing. He’s an infant. You were literally just pissed when you thought I was fucking him.” 

“Yeah, because I thought money or power or something was up and that’d be gross, but do you just like him?” 

“He’s an annoying little pest.” 

“Oh shit,” Jim sat down heavily in a chair. “Boss. No.” 

“I haven’t done anything.” 

“I know that’s what makes it pathetic.” 

“I’m still a faster shot then you and if I get you in the meaty bits, you’d still be useful when you heal.” 

“Yeah, whatever, you tell yourself lies.” 

“...don’t tell Eddy.” 

“Nothing to tell apparently.” 

-Izzy doesn’t give Lucius money, but he does let him live with him rent free,  doesn’t ask for money for groceries and makes sure they still get delivered when he’s away. 

And one day, a month into that bullshit, where Izzy is no the wiser to his own motives, Eddy says, 

“We need a forger.” 

“What happened to Alan?” 

“Retired.” 

And Izzy knows an artist, is the thing.  But Lucius probably wouldn’t agree to something like that. Probably can’t even do it.

“That’d be easy.” Lucius determines, looking at the image. “Could be fun too.” 

“You get caught, it’s a felony.” 

“Will I get caught?” Lucius’ gaze on his skin feels like a hand dragged slowly over Izzy’s throat. 

“No,” Izzy promises. “Not if I can help it.” 

“Then yeah, I need a few things and we can make it happen.” 

Lucius works at the offices because they don’t bring incriminating stuff home. He decides that Eddy’s office gets the best light and he won’t let them keep the door closed. Eddy grins through his prissy demands and let’s him setup there. 

Izzy can hear them talking as Lucius works. Light and easy. Eddy laughs like she does with Jim.  

-The forgery comes out well enough to pass. 

“Alan might do some training,” Eddy says. 

“But he’s-” Izzy starts. Stops. Lucius is in it now. He lives with Izzy, even if he never does anything outside the law ever again, that’ll always come up. Because he gets his mail addressed there now. “I’ll ask him.” 

-Lucius joins the payroll after a few months of what he calls ‘fun crime lessons’.  There’s not enough work for a full time forger, but he’s not half-bad at organizing and taking notes. He lifts those tasks off Izzy’s desk. 

And because he’s there, he adds into brainstorming meetings. His mind is startlingly devious for an art student/bartender. 

-Izzy is no fucking saint. He comes home early from a trip and Lucius is still in his bed. Izzy stands over him for long minutes and when Lucius wakes, Izzy just falls to his knees and kisses him. 

Lucius kisses back. 

“Hello, danger,” Lucius says against his lips. 

Whatever Jim was worried about probably happens. 

-In the morning. Izzy has a dozen half-ideas about how he’ll tell Lucius it’s a bad idea and he’ll pay for his life back in the dorms,  if that’s what he’s worried about, but the man presses him against the mattress before he can say any of them and they die in his throat unuttered.

“Somethings different about you,” Eddy says as soon as Izzy walks in the door. 

“Slept okay,” Izzy checks her face and frowns. “Are you wearing lipstick?” 

“What if I was?” She challenges. 

“...how about we just go into our offices and I’ll get lunch later?” 

“...deal.” 

They don’t talk about Lucius or the lipstick over lunch. Both stay. Both breed more change.

-The first day Eddy comes to work in a dress, Jim is on her heels and glares over her shoulder. Lucky for them Jim has already weeded out the wrong kind of people and no one has a word to say about it. Including Izzy. He’s got his own fucking problems.

“Well?” she demands of him. 

“Well what?” He holds out the stack of files. “You signing these or am I forging your name?” 

“Hands.” 

“Boss,” he pushes the files at her. 

“How do I look?” 

He doesn’t let his gaze travel, just looks her in the eye, “Like yourself.” 

“...yeah, fine,” she grabs the files. “Thanks. Where’s Lucius?” 

“Right here,” he walked out of Izzy’s office with his own stack of files. Catches sight of Eddy and smiles, “Digging the new look. The eyeliner is a little heavy, but I can see where you were going with it.” 

“Really?” Eddy tightens her grip on the folders. 

Izzy disappears into his office. He has nothing to add to that conversation and he thinks he’s earned a little hyperventilating. 

-Eddy, now definitely Eddy, is like a new, fresher version of the person she used to be. They have fewer close calls and more beautifully cracked ideas. Lucius and Jim feed into those. And maybe Izzy does too. He stops questioning Eddy so much as she shows more and more signs of being checked in to the work. He doesn’t have to rile her up, she’s just ready to go.  

And Izzy....Izzy is a little more relaxed. 

“Damn right,” Lucius purrs and kisses his neck when he confesses that. “I work hard at that lover.” 

Lucius looks different these days too. With his own paycheck, freed from such weights as rent and food, goes to clothes. He cultivates a new persona. More black, but no leather. Loose black trousers, the kind of men’s boots made for runways instead of streets and a series of dark colored button ups, always turned up at the wrist.  The haircut is professional now. 

He does something to Jim, who at last abandons their beige and creams for tight black pieces that are somehow like Eddy once was and something altogether different. Sharper, cleaner, modern. They go to Lucius’ stylist and come back with a clean undercut, the rest of their hair back in a bun. 

When they meet clients (and they do, the two of them somehow becoming a team, Lucuis the voice, Jim the suggestion of the work), they always get the contract. 

“I think they might be better than us,” Eddy watches as Lucius shakes the hand of a man that once tried to bite Izzy’s nose off. Jim grins at him sharklike.  

“No,” Izzy declares. “Not yet.” 

-The summer Lucius turns twenty-five, Eddy finds the Revenge. Finds Stede Bonnet. 

“We should let her go,” Lucius says, stretched over their bed. Izzy kneels beside the bed, chin on Lucius’ knee. 

“What do you mean?” 

“We don’t really need Eddy to run the business, darling,” Lucius reaches down, runs a hand over Izzy’s hair. “You know the back end and between Jim and I, we can do the rest. She’s sick of it all, likes this Stede guy...I say cut her loose.” 

“But-” 

“Think on it,” Lucius cuts him off, his fingers sink into Izzy’s hair and tugs him up off the floor. “Later.” 

Izzy thinks on it, but he’s too slow. Eddy comes to him and proposes the end of the company before he can do more than start.  Jim stands behind her, a faint smile on their face. 

“It’ll be yours,” Eddy tells him. 

“I don’t think so,” Izzy stares at Jim. 

-Eddy leaves. Sometimes Jim and Lucius go to the Revenge and they tell Izzy about the place. They never say he isn’t allowed to go, but he can read between the lines. He stays away.  

The company grows. Jim and Lucius are young. They have new ideas. Lucius’ forgeries have gotten very very good. Jim kills easy as breathing and doesn’t ask Izzy if they did the right thing anymore. 

Izzy does the paperwork. He goes out on the kinds of jobs he’s familiar with and still feels useful. His name is on the front door now, but he keeps his office. Jim and Lucius take Eddy’s office, but they renovate. Fresh lighting, fresh paint. Two desks.  

-”We should move,” Lucius declares one evening. 

“What’s wrong with this place?” 

“Oh darling,” Lucius kisses his cheek. “We can just do so much better now.” 

-Izzy does like the penthouse once he gets used to it. It’s spacious and his office is as black and chrome as he could ask for.  The rest of the place is wholly Lucius and Izzy likes it more than he thought he would. It’s just...comfortable there. He stays home more and more. Does his work from the office. He cooks for Lucius, who’s always an appreciative audience. Makes extra for Jim for lunch the next day. 

Sometimes Izzy wonders what Eddy would think of it. He almost texts her sometimes, but they haven’t spoken since the day she signed off on the place. Probably for the best. 

“Darling,” Lucius kisses his throat. “You did beautifully with the books. Are you sure you don’t mind not going out on the Bellmonte job?” 

“I don’t,” he smiles, pets the silky material of Lucius’ shirt. “Jim handled it.” 

“They did,” Lucius agreed. “Did you make the lasagna for dinner? It smells amazing in here.” 

“Mm, I had time.” 

“What did I do to deserve such a man?” Lucius nipped at him, drawing back to grin at him. 

“Must’ve been a saint in another life,” Izzy laughs. He does that now. It feels good. “Fuck knows it isn’t in in this one.” 

“Sing it,” Lucius pulls him close. “Take me to the shooting range tonight?” 

“You hate guns.”

“Mm, pays to know though, doesn’t it? And you’re hot when you get all teacher-y.” 

They rent out the whole range. Lucius fucks him with a hand over his mouth that reeks of gunpowder. Afterwards, Izzy fishes out the ring he’s been holding for years and asks. Lucius says yes. Jim witnesses their marriage with blood drying under their fingernails. 

“You’re next,” Lucius teases them.  

“Maybe,” they concede. 

That’s how Izzy finds out about Oluwande. The man isn’t of the life. He’s soft and sweet. Izzy almost feels bad for him. 

Almost. Jim treats him well. He stays of his own accord. He doesn't talk to Izzy much even though they're thrown together a lot. Sometimes though when Jim and Lucius get really deep into it, talking in half-sentences that loop around each other, Oluwande will catch Izzy's eye and something passes between them. Understanding maybe.

Or fear. Izzy wasn't sure he could still feel that really, but the ghost of it lingers on his tongue. He tastes it in those moments.

-Izzy signs over his part of the company to them two years into the marriage. He has enough money and Lucius pays most of the bills these days anyway. He's barely there. Anyone can keep the books. Lucius says that anyway and Izzy believes him.

-Izzy doesn’t look back. No apologies. No regrets.  

He wonders once. Just once. He Googles. Finds no trace. 

He doesn’t ask, even when Lucius picks at him over dinner, tries to figure out what's wrong.

No apologies. No regrets. No looking back. He erases his search history. 

He'll be forty-five this year. He never thought he'd live to see it. He'd like to see forty-six. He thinks it'll be nice.

[reliqvia]

sorry this is completely not relevant to anything at all i am just feeling very frustrated with my country’s medical system and i need to get it off my chest lol

every time i go out into the world & feel brave enough to tentatively ask for help for the first time i immediately get shot down in flames and it’s just embarrassing. and i crawl back into my shell and never come out & ask for help again. i went to the doctors recently after having not been to the doctors for a long time & i asked for a female doctor to examine me (just because i had really bad experiences with male doctors when i was young) & they said sorry we’re too short staffed for that. & i didn’t mind too much because it was really just a preference and i was ok having a male doctor it’s not that important but they then LOCKED me alone in a room with this really horrible old guy who just seemed to absolutely resent my entire existence. he was so blatantly rude and kept talking over me and i explained that i have a family history of x and y chronic illnesses and only then did he very reluctantly agree to test me for them, but he acted like he didn’t believe me at all. when i explained some of my symptoms to him, which are things i find very embarrassing and disgusting and shameful and i have been really struggling to talk about, he screwed up his face in obvious abject disgust and said “urgh”. i almost went completely mute afterwards and had to hide my face from him because i felt so humiliated. he asked me if i had “tried eating yoghurt”, and when i told him i ate an extremely limited diet partially out of fear and partially because of allergies he just laughed at me. & he laughed at my list of safe foods and said “there’s barely anything there” and i said “i know, i wish i could eat more” and he just moved on from that like it wasn’t something i really obviously need help with. i was on the verge of tears for the entire appointment and he didn’t even seem to acknowledge or care about the fact that i was very obviously distressed, and then at the end of the appointment he just waved his hand and said “you can go now” while i was trembling so much i could barely turn the handle on the door. burst out crying as soon as i was out of earshot. but switching to another doctor, let alone another practice, is impossible right now because every other doctor at the practice is overbooked and overworked, and every other practice in my area has stopped taking on new patients because of staff shortages and overcrowding. the guy who saw me isn’t even employed by the practice, he’s a local independent GP who they have temporarily working there due to the staff shortage. i just felt so embarrassed afterwards i wanted to curl up and die, my girlfriend walked me home and took me to the thrift store on the way to make me feel better and the whole time i was just shaking and crying and feeling like a mess. it had taken me so much strength and so much bravery to make an appointment with a doctor after having so many bad experiences with them as a kid, and this fucking random guy who isn’t even my GP and DOESN’T EVEN WORK THERE just laughed at me and dismissed me like i was an inconvenience to him. after i put my trust in him. i wanted to raise my voice and be loud and assertive and whatever but my stutter was so bad i could only really manage to say “sorry” and “thank you” like a pathetic little worm. and my tests came back clear so he emailed me saying not to come back again because i’m fine. like. okay. it’s okay. i love it. i love healthcare and being healthy. i’m the healthiest girl in the world. and i wish i was fuckinggg dead

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

The Legend of The Lady of The North

(But refined and all together)

Prologue

A year ago, maybe two, I can’t recall the date when it all went wrong anymore. I hated lying.

My hatred for lying was to the extent that even if I should’ve said sorry, I didn't if I wasn't truly. I was a truthful little flower, a little princess. I hated lying, especially about my feelings. I wanted people to know me. I preferred being a flowing river. Now I have a dam. I thought you didn’t affect me even though you raised me, but that was a lie to myself. How does that make you feel? Impressed? Good, I don’t care. I don't care about much anymore. If I can, I will run and hide for my safety. I am a leech. I will run. I will hide. Communicating used to matter for me, I used to do it all the time. I used to tell you two all the wrongs and stupidities of your screams. Even with things I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have yelled all those times. It only added fuel to the fire of iron and oxygen. I should’ve kept quiet and let the river flow, maybe none of this would've happened... I tried fixing things by myself, I should've stayed silent. However, now I see people do the same, making the same mistakes, and being foolish. I must stop them. If anyone sees, if anyone guesses I go to the shadows until they forget about me. Sometimes I'll even come down in another form and I’ll lie. I’ll lie about the day, I’ll lie about who I am. I’ll apologize, it will be a lie. I’ll say I’m busy, it will be a lie. I am a disgusting bug in comfy sweaters and beautiful skirts.

I didn’t realize how bad it was until that day. How much I fought back and how much that destroyed my kingdom. Now I’ve changed completely.

Part of me screams stop from the abyss, it wants out. However old dogs are never released from the pound.

I thought I was healthy, I thought I was good, and to an extent I am.

Only because

I don’t care.

If they hurt me, if they leave,

I do not care.

However, now I am a liar.

With a mask to hide it all.

And every time, every time another crack forms. I started wearing it more and more. It will be cemented on my face soon enough.

Even if I’m all alone now, even if they all die, even if I die, the mask will stay.

Act One

The audience of the dark was gathered, and the stage was set.

“Once upon a time-“ the princess started.

“Don’t start it off with some fairytale shit Hailey.” The knight was always so critical.

“At least my name isn’t Kyle! Shut up and let me tell the tale!”

She was strong.

“Why do you have to be the one to tell it?”

He was foolish.

“I’ve grown up in the mountains, it’s only right I do it! Your family doesn’t even own a gun!”

“Just let her tell it Kyle,” The red-headed maid finally spoke.

Trish and Kyle were the ones next to Hailey’s ocean-blue hair. They were to become the actors while other kids watched. This was their daily school get-together, also called recess. Even though it wasn’t that, it was just a break. The school tried to end recess and turn it into study time, but it didn’t work. Kids just went outside with their textbooks and told ghost stories near the not-allowed-to-use fire pit.

“Okay, okay, gather around!” Hailey was beautiful. She lit up the room, as they always say after people pass. She never did though. It would’ve been better if she did.

“Legend says there’s a masked woman who lives in the mountains, few have ever seen her though-“

“And there’s no evidence!” Boys are always an annoyance.

“Kyle shut up!”

Her dyed hair always sparkled in the sun like the ocean, along with her sweet chocolate eyes. That beauty was a lie.

“Anyway, few have ever seen her. However, hunters still fear her and that’s why barely anyone goes too high on the mountain. It’s said if you find a creature without a head, you’re already too far gone in her territory. Snowfall is said to be a warning to beware her,“

Snaps of branches and leaves grew from the woods.

The woods itself followed her lead.

The hunter's spirit was in her bones.

Oh, how I miss those times.

“They say if you go too far in you get your head cut off or worse, of course, no one’s ever actually found a body though.”

“We should totally go up there, I wanna see.”

“Kyle, you are so bad at ideas!” Trish said holding onto her M&M necklace, that was her personality. She was hyper-fixated on M&M lore. Her mother shockingly didn’t mind it and even supported it. Trish’s parents were those loving old people who made pies for the neighbors. They were…perfect.

Kyle was a stereotypical boy, foolish, he wasn't a jock though. He didn't do much of anything, he stayed in the shadows until the princess needed her knight. His parents weren't very present but they were there nonetheless.

On the other mountain, Hailey’s mother was strict. She lived in the mountains, a twenty-minute drive from the school and her friends. She only went to public school for high school, her divorced parents thought it would be best after everything. Homeschool would only hurt her more is what her father, Timothy always said. While her mother moved to the city to find a new life, she visited every summer while Hailey’s father was busy.

The bell rang but the three lagged behind, “I say we should, we can have a sleepover at my house. Then when it’s light we can travel more up through the trails the hunters use. Or, or I know how to drive the ATV!”

The night came, and the cabin was cozy. Even with the raging domestic issues it was still home. The living room with her friends was like fire in the raging winter. Hailey felt safe even with the crosses of God slowly disappearing from the house.

The house had two stories, plus a basement, the middle had the fire so it’s where they all slept in the living room, with the dining room and door in sight. The upstairs was actually where the real living happened. You could think of it, as the real world. It’s where dark clouds came lurking around corners while staring at a page, or in Trish’s life would be a phone. It’s where the yelling voices lived…and where they died.

The stars aligned. I wonder if it was fate.

Act Two

Life is like snowfall,

It falls

It melts

Life is like a bitter game of chess.

They all helped Hailey's dad get firewood inside, they would need it for a sleepover after all. It was fun, Kyle even threw a log at Trish. Did Hailey truly belong with them?

After that, they made a fort in the living room and Hailey made the hot coco her mother had taught her to.

Trish finished her cup, “Don’t you have something more scary about the lady than that? I think you’ve mentioned another story before.”

“My uncle did tell me a story of his cousin's death, supposedly she killed him. But also he was weird plus he’s in jail so I’m unsure if he’s trustworthy.”

“Just tell us! Earlier was boring, it’s only just us and Kyle now. Tell us!”

“Yeah, outside of here Trish is the queen of drama.”

“Oh shut up dude!”

They were like siblings. Especially Trish and Kyle, those two had known each other since kindergarten.

“So his cousin, Henry went up the mountain to do some hunting, he had already caught a deer but it was pretty small. So he decided to go higher, hopefully for bigger deer. His younger brother, John followed suit, but a bit farther behind.

John then heard a crunch of a deer's body in front of him missing its head, along with birds, and beheaded cries lying all around. They would never fly again, never sing, never sob.

He heard Henry scream for his time was up.

When he got there, he hid at the sight of her.

Henry’s neck was snapped, her boot on his neck, her boot had a blade on the front, she tipped it to snap off his head completely-“

“That’s not possible!”

“Kyle.” Trish glared, she handed him her cup, go get everyone more hot coco you nerd.”

He stared back, “I’ll put cyanide in yours,” ironic.

“Oh, I dare you,” Hailey ignored the ones beneath her charades.

“Anyway, John watched, her hair was as white as the snow, and her skin was as well. Except for her hands, they were black with dots like stars. Her mask covered all her face-“

“Like that one character -“ Kyle interrupted, again.

Trish proceeded to drag him to the kitchen. They were in earshot still so Hailey continued as she stared at the blazing heat. It was a nice warmth. Would she feel it ever again?

“Her face mask was all white except black for the eyes, tears dripped from it, onto the snowy ground. John thought he heard her mutter, “Life is a sea, one drop loss is nothing” as she lifted her spear made of ice out of the snow. her hand did not melt it in the slightest. John couldn’t move, he waited till the dead of night. He ran in the darkness, the stars barely showing under the trees. Eventually, days later he was found.”

“Dead?” The maid gasped.

“Dead, he had slipped and died while trying to find the way back to his cabin that’s still in the mountains to this day. The story was found in the journal he kept with him, and Henry was never found so a majority of the family and friends believed it. Some still thought it was a ploy or a made-up fantasy. I’ve never seen anything but the mountains feel different. Humans don’t rule here. I feel like anything is possible here, both good and bad”

With that, they all called it a night, full of warmth from the fire and sugar from the chocolate.

___

The morning came, far too soon. The children prepared, Hailey’s family owned all the snow wear one would need, even if most were hand-me-downs. One was even Henry’s, Kyle was wearing that one. Hailey went upstairs to tell her dad, he wasn’t there anymore but her mother was, back from a trip.

They argued over whether to take the ATV or walk. Hailey who was pacing like a deer who saw a lion finally convinced them the ATV would be faster, and safer.

She was barely old enough to drive it, however she’d been driving it since she was ten. It was the Princess’s stead.

They traveled up and up, the sun shining down on the friends. It looked as if God had blessed them.

“I found an antler!” The knight lifted his prize for all to see.

The group went up and up, laughing like the children they once were.

They set up a spot, making a fire, enjoying the view, taking pictures. It's one of my fondest memories.

You may be wondering, when did I strike? I wasn’t there yet.

However, the clouds darkened and brought forth snowflakes.

When the snow got heavier they needed shelter, thankfully they found my cabin.

The stage props were finally set up.

Act Three

Every move matters, like a game of chess, like acting. Which move is the right one?

After all the events of my life, I’ve wondered this very thought.

It keeps me awake till the stars dim.

I ran until my lungs bled red from the effort, the figure was behind me. Never ending, never slowing. The only thing keeping me from her midnight claws was the limp the lady had.

The mountain was steep but I had it memorized by heart and head. This was my home after all. However the other inhabitants morphed it over the seasons, and I could’ve sworn I had never seen the edge- Suddenly I was in the air.

My ankle became a rotten red, as I limped back to the place of memories, of hot chocolate, of warm fires, of screams, Rred flashed my vision with the ringing in my entire body.. it wasn’t home. Not anymore. Red everywhere, guts everywhere.

Then blank.

I don’t remember what happened. I don’t remember. That's what I told the police as the ambulance came, hopefully, they will concrete the act.

___

No one knew how a bear got in, or how I survived.

“I don’t remember what happened.” Became my mantra as my ankle screaming like a dying fawn. Officers, doctors, and everyone trying to find out what happened so quickly, they don’t even let you process it happened within hours. Auntie Kate came, she flew in from Detroit. She barely even spoke to me she looked like she’d seen a ghost, sometimes I wondered if I was the ghost. No one knew where my friends were. They were all worried, crying parents and worried aunts everywhere.

The police hadn’t gotten much. Auntie Kaye decided to go behind their back, and let me in the house to get my stuff, Only a day after is all. since I was so depressed. All I did was cry about missing my blanket and items like a baby. With all her traffic tickets she wasn’t much for a law. She was an old “Come back with a warrant,” southern lady at heart. She still had barely spoken to me, she only gave me pats of encouragement and one-word answers. So when I got back in I decided to never leave my home again.

I tracked up to the mountain, to an old cabin. John’s old cabin, My old cabin. Refusing to be seen by Auntie Kaye, smoking a cigarette near her car.

They were there sleeping peacefully,

Sleep meds belonging to Martha really knocked people out, the dose alone to kill. They were the same meds she used on dear old Dad. They would be awake soon, they would know, and they would ruin this. I wasn’t going to kill my true family, but how was I supposed to get them out? I was still human after all.

In my cabin there were old sleds, they used to belong to my cousins and their dad. I could attach their sleeping bodies to it and then throw them down, that would be the best chance of survival for both parties.

I am so selfish.

I am the joker of the cards,

I’m not a princess after all.

The Tale

what did you think this was a ghost story?

No.

This is a human story.

After many years though, stories of legend formed.

Once there was a girl, with brown hair and brown eyes however she was red and heated with anger. Her match was a blue-eyed man with calming tides. Country boy with a city girl, an earthquake with tsunami.

Eventually, the girl turned into a woman, and the boy turned into a man.

The woman became his iron queen, she brought order and religion to the house. She only softened for him, especially after the death of his mother. This death gave them a kingdom of their own, in the mountains with tales of fear…but also of love.

The man became the oxygen king, bringing life and happiness to the home.

They had pets there and eventually, they produced a child.

The daughter was a princess, but she had evil iron poisoning her veins. A princess made their castle complete. However Martha wasn’t ready, she never wanted a child. The king loved her even if she was an accident after all. This iron hate poisoned the iron queen. Hurricanes broke out, fires started all across the land. They stopped whenever the princess cried, her cries could stop the nastiest of blizzards.

One day the queen left. The kingdom fell to ruin for a long time. Nature even attempted to reconquer it but the king and the princess held fast, hoping for relief or the return.

The iron queen did return. She wanted time with the princess, the king was confused, but he allowed it, she was her mother after all.

In the summer, or sometimes whenever the queen decided, Hailey would go to a kingdom in a sea of lights and music. This was different from the mountains the princess disliked it but she was her daughter. A mother needs a daughter. A daughter needs a mother. Even though they fought and didn't get along, they needed each other… right?

Years passed with this system.

Once her arrival was a sudden fury, the princess got her maid and knight for protection, the queen was angry but she would deal with them later, she went upstairs the king was up writing, he wasn't happy but both couldn't dare to alert the knights the iron queen infected her victim with words, smoke, and sleep. The king passed with her iron in his heart and blood. That morning the princess found him upstairs, the queen was waiting for them to leave, so she did.

She was her mother's child though, she knew iron poison herself. The princess king and maid went off on the adventure but bad weather crept in so they sought shelter, the princess putting sleeping beans in their water. Once they were out she told the storm to stop, and it obeyed. She ran down the hill, not wanting to waste time, and she ended up spraining her ankle, she trusted the mountains too much for a princess. Her mother was packing, and the iron queen turned and smiled at her. The queen had iron but the princess had the real magic.

Knights came to console her, no one knew what had happened, and the princess claimed amnesia and trauma. The doctors agreed, and the knights agreed. She made it back up the mountains to the knight and maid, her trusted companions, she didn't want them to die…but what else could she do to keep them from telling the truth?

The princess ran, she hid, in the mountains of her home, just out of sight of her old life. An old cabin became her home, she lived off the land calling the winds and clouds to her aid. Eventually, she became somewhat of an animal herself. Her face was that of the iron queen, the face was hers, she wasn't her anymore, so she dawned a mask that was the closest to her own home, she changed her hair and her posture, and she became a lie. In that cabin in the mountains, she became a lady, the lady of the north they call her now.

The mountains can be boring, Her boredom leads to methods of iron, killing hunters and animals alike...It is rumored that sometimes the lady misses her old life so she comes down and mingles, puts flowers near the graves of her family, and makes some new friends before disappearing under the guise of “Oh I’m sorry I'm moving already,” Or some other lies. She is such a vile beast.

Even with this mask, I will always be the narrator of my tale. I will form the stories they remember with my iron claws.

[trashblackrainbow]

Thanks for the reply . If you like the idea of them in general, and Eren wasn’t what he became, I can see why you and others (there’s plenty in fandom who think like you) would want them to get married and have a baby and stuff. Also i guess it would be a good way for Mikasa to boo hoo about not being chosen because he picked the nice pretty queen over her and then move on, maybe meet a nice Hizuran man who will treat her good (I like the idea of her moving on from Eren because he doesn’t actually love her and sees her as less than). Or maybe even Jean haha.

But in general in the story I don’t personally see their chemistry as anything but platonic, and again Historia seems scared of Eren during their last convo using her words against her so I don’t see her wanting to have a baby with him after he told her all that. Like what makes ppl think historia would want that/him? Or want to sleep with him after that? I don’t like her partner beings former bully either but at least he grew up, matured and took responsibility, she’d probably rather have that (thinking more about her kid) for her kids dad than a genocidal mass murderer (plus Eren kinda bullied her into complying with his plan so). Also as much as I also don’t like Eren and Mikasa (I don’t like Eren with anyone) Eren did tell Zeke he’s not getting with Mikasa because he only has 4 yrs left so why would he by that logic have a whole other family. Also historia seems like she knows and supports her crush on Mikasa so it just makes historia unnecessarily messy (which is why I think it’s out of character as much as I mentioned it could be a way for Mikasa to move on and finally get that she’s not loved by Eren). Also Eren never once thought about having a family so I don’t see him as a family man at all with anyone, don’t see why him loving his mom (who he ended up letting die) would make him a family man. He seems like he’s about himself tbh. I do admit I’m also biased because historia had a beautiful relationship with Ymir as well, so that’s another reason I’m fine with us not knowing much else abt the dad besides how she knows him—it doesn’t matter to the story compared to Ymir. But that’s just where I’m coming from, I just don’t see why the dad being some random dude is so important that they’d think it’s appropriate Eren would be one after what he did and knew he was gonna do, killing billions of children and babies. Not to mention he never once thought about his alleged kid and baby mom

But again it’s great if you just like it for shipping purposes, that makes more sense to me and there’s nothing wrong with that. I just think the insistence for some that it has to be him in order for Historia to be relevant is interesting to me

Okay, I like the way you think about this

After I answered your ask I did my research about ErenxHistoria in the fandom —it’s fucking crazy— and I rewatched their conversation before the Rumbling. I also want to clear that I think if he would survive then he wouldn’t have the titan powers anymore an would live a long, happy life, just like the others former human titans.

First and foremost, just to get it out of the way: I have mixed feelings on ErenxMikasa, especially after watching Mikasa’s OVA which made me so emotional. My heart grieves for this poor girl. A part of me wants them to be together and live happily ever after. Following the whole disaster he would survive, she would take care of him and nurse him back to health, slowly but surely they fall in love and do all the cheesy stuff and have a family and die together of old age. The other part of me just wants Mikasa to move on even if he survived, she deserves so much —not that Eren couldn’t give it to her, just not in the way she needs for her own good— and maybe with a person that has nothing to do with the AOT plot is better for her to move through a healthy relationship and getting in touch with her emotions. I kinda see MikasaxJean, not right after the events but maybe a few years later, they mature and become better people and meet again and things just fall into place, besides Jean fancied her since training days. I just want her to be happy, maybe even better if it’s a woman.

Now on to the serious stuff: HistoriaxEren. We all know the real partner for Historia was Ymir but personally I don’t think she would pursue a romantic relationship with any other woman, idk why, maybe it’s just an intrusive thought because I want them to ache for each other until they meet again in another life. I kinda like the fact that the father of her child is not relevant to the story, still annoyed that he’s her former bully. I realized that when I first saw the talk between Eren and Historia I thought she was already pregnant by him (maybe I understood it this way because I watched it in Spanish the girst time idk). On the fact that he never thought of Historia and the kid while doing the whole rumbling thing maybe it was just their talks that he thought about, that’s why we see that, or he wanted to leave his print on earth through Historia cuz it would hurt less than through Mikasa, which is just evil honestly idk, I’m conflicted on this whole thing.

I agree on not wanting Eren with anyone but maybe that is just influenced idea because we didn’t get to see that much of that side of any character in the series, even if we did it was just barely touched since they didn’t have time to think about that kind of stuff, besides, too little domestic scenes were shown —hurts like hell cuz I just love for all of them to be normal—. I think this is just for young Eren tho, if he were to survive I’m sure around his late 20s-30s he would definitely find someone to spend his life with, maybe a stranger Historia . The thing with his mom is just because after seeing how happy his parents were would give him the need to have that one day too. Eren is just messy in almost every way possible (he basically kills his mom and thousands of scouts and innocent people to ensure a secure future for Armin and Mikasa so that says a lot). But I love him and in the end all he did was to move forward to what he thought freedom was and resulted in his death and he knew that. I kinda ship Eren with Armin more than with Mikasa and Historia combined so there’s that.

It doesn’t have to be him for Historia to be relevant. Historia is relevant in her own way and I love her and no one can take that from me.

I’m so messy writing this whole thing so I’ll stop here or maybe add some more later, idk, hope you understand something from all this.

[cclearstars]

i’ve been surrounded by babies, pregnancy, baby talk…. etc. etc. etc. i literally was talking to my friend one floor below her sending encouragement and congratulations while she delivered her baby while i was saying goodbye to mine. i literally sat with her family in the same lobby before i got pulled back to go to check-in for my surgery.

i have been positive innately... i AM happy for those around me.

but there is a burning pain that i feel getting worse and worse. it feels so selfish to be upset.

i’m going with amanda to see kristina soon.

i can still hear you cut me off because i was talking too much and you were trying to go to bed. right in the middle of me explaining that kristina had just had her twin boys and one of them was going to have heart surgery right when he was born. i should have respected that you were trying to go to bed but i thought you liked it when i told you stories.. but yes, i should have just shut my mouth more when you went upstairs to sleep. i get it. i can still remember when i FIRST told you about kristina and her twin boys. I remember you saying “why have a kid if you know it’s going to be fucked up” or something along those lines. and I told you that after two or three surgeries, the condition he had is manageable and he would live a healthy life. you logic makes sense. i can’t say i don’t agree with it. but in their case, he had a condition that was treatable so no i would have never chosen an elective abortion of my twin if he had that condition. that’s why they do genetic testing while pregnant. if i was pregnant and found out the baby was going to die 100% after birth or had some crazy chance of not surviving or endangering my life, with the support of my partner, that’s when an elective abortion is the right choice.

but then everything happened with our baby and didn’t open my mouth much at all.. and you didn’t get to hear how everything went down…

Their baby boy, frankie coded (his heart stopped) at some point when having his first heart surgery. Everything changed and he was placed on ECMO (tubes went in and tubes came out of his heart and cycled his blood for him keeping him alive) and he was placed on a heart transplant list after he was unable to come off ecmo successfully.

he lost the battle.

he didn’t make it.

I am so happy for them to have August. but so so heart broken for their loss. And i’m going to come face to face with so much pain for them while being so happy to meet their little boy that is healthy and alive. And then i’m flooded with the pain of what i just lost and every emotion with that… and it happens all of the time now. walking by a baby…. when a commercial comes on. when i see the pregnancy test in my drawer. when i see all of the pregnancy tests in my bathroom that i will never need because it will never happen as a beautiful surprise. it hits me when i think about what’s happening. or if i hear nora talking about her little brother. all of the time… it hits me and the pain is getting worse and worse.

i want my boy. i want another girl. it doesn’t matter now… it really does mean something when a person says i just want a healthy and safe pregnancy and baby. but

and i’m so scared to bring it up. time is running out with this insurance shit. i need to call and find out if and what it would cover before even saying anything. it’s crazy to even think that someone would care enough or have love for me while not with me to even think about something like this. but weirdly, it might even make sense… it feels right.. maybe. i don’t know.. i don’t want to be made a fool and embarrassed because i’m not what i thought i was/am to you.. yet here i am. it doesn’t feel scary. even after the fucking bullshit you pulled. even after knowing what i know. i don’t think she ended our story. not in the slightest..

oh but i did have a friend tell me just to give nora a full biological sibling and ask M to help. well that is the last thing i have thought of doing. it’s not what i want at all…. it’s clear what i have wanted. it was already planned out.

but here i am right now.

afraid… mouth closed. head down. throat burning. face flushed. hand shaking.

[ripperplague]

Can you post a description of all the Ro’s pretty pleaseeeee? Also, stay healthy dear author!

If you want the detailed description you'll have to wait for chapter four because I'd lose the rhythm of the story since you'd already know. In other words spoiler spoiler and spoiler.

I did however post a brief description on the forum, here it is:

Duke Cyrus Trillain (M)

He’s the nephew of your patron and father figure Darius.

He’s 6’2 with Indigo hair, cream skin and icy blue eyes.

He’s got three years on you, a fact which urks him more than you considering that he will never be smarter than you. Arrogant, Smug and very easy to rile, he’s sees you as an “infantile fool”, a bookworm with their head in the clouds. A puppy, he’s responsible for. He reminds you of a horse’s foot, hard on the outside but soft on the inside. The barbs, the taps on your head, the shoving and the lectures. They’re his way of showing affection to a kid he took under his wing. He broke his best friend’s jaw because the boy called you a “Filthy orphan” and yelled at you after that for not sticking up for yourself.

But where do you stand now. You were frenemies until six years ago. Now he’s the duke and wants you dead.

Or so you think.

2. Weapons Marshal Blade Veslyn (M)

He’s the Weapons Marshal for the Empress. The post of Weapons Marshall is the most ambiguous of all. Spy, Assassin, General, Soldier, Bodyguard are a few guesses. He’s the Empress’s right hand man and why he’s in Valeris is a mystery.

You’ve never met him but you’ve heard plenty about him from Cyrus. From what you know, they’re academy buddies and blood sworn friends but that doesn’t explain why he’s so interested in you.

Morbid, curt, blunt and stone cold, he has a sense of humor darker than Cyrus.

If Cyrus is fire then Blade is ice, they both cut deep but differently.

It’s almost like he’s baiting you to make a wrong move. To give him an excuse to finish you off.

He’s 6’3 with one blood red pupil, a sign of the red baron infection while his other eye is a dark charcoal. It’s like staring into the gateways of two dimensions and neither of them are pleasant.

He wears a shift patch over his scarred eye, even though he can see clearly with it. Which is another mystery to you. Patients with infected eyes die faster because the virus infects their brain through the optic nerves. He’s alive and can still see through the eye. His hair is black which contrasts with his pale, slightly sick skin. His injuries in the war coupled with the plague had left the doctors no option but to replace his left arm, shoulder blade and chest region. When you listen for a heartbeat, you hear the ticking of gears.

3. Commander Gauge “Silver/Silvia” Cartis (M/F/NB)

Gauge is the Second in command to the forces of Trillain. They are a Naval officer who was personally chosen by Cyrus to be his second. You can see why, unlike Cyrus, Gauge is level headed, cool, stable and kind. They’re a sweet gentle soul who keeps Cyrus and Blade in line.

They simply don’t understand why someone of your caliber would do what you did.

Also are one of the few people who’ve treated you like a human, like you’re worthy of their affection.

He is 5’11 with sandy brown hair, blue green eyes and olive skin.

She is 5’9 with sandy brown hair, blue green eyes and olive skin.

They are 5’10 with sandy brown hair, blue green eyes and olive skin.

4. Raz (F)

A fixer and dealer who knows everything. Backstories, secrets, information are her currency. She’s also the bartender/bouncer at THE RED BARON, a pub frequented by criminals and rebels. Even the Vanguard know better than to set foot in there.

The woman’s an enigma to you and behind every joke, every sly comeback is a deep sadness that seems to leak out every time she’s around you. She finds you fascinating because you’re a mystery to her, she often spends her free time stalking you, watching you, wondering whether you’re an innocent framed for a crime you didn’t commit.

She’s caring, funny, fierce, strong and desperately lonely. Just like you.

Raz has wavy black hair, light brown skin,dark brown eyes lined with kohl and she’s 5’8.

5. Skylar Revthrone (F)

Barely eighteen and she’s already a hardened patriot ready to die for her country. A genius when it comes to machines, Sky’s skill set includes bombs and explosives. She also makes dolls and toys for children with spare parts. It helps her calm down and gives her something to focus on. Just like Sam she’s worried about being left behind because she’s the youngest on the team.

She’s wonky, friendly and might have a crush on you. She blushes easily and is extremely possessive if you show any inclination that you might like her too. But she’s young and it’s your fear that this is just puppy love, she’s never been a relationship let alone felt attraction at this magnitude.

You worry if she will see you the same when she finds out the truth.

Skylar has golden hair, green eyes, peach skin and stands at 5’2

6. Brin Masserius(NB)

The Ambassador from the capital who’s in Valeris for the treaty.

Brin is a fiercely intelligent politician who hide a timid heart behind that pearly smile. They don’t know what to make of you and think of you as the puzzle piece they can’t fit right. They can’t seem to decide between admiration and suspicion when it comes to you. However they’re determined to use you as a pawn whether you like it or not. After all it’s what they’ve been trained for. One minute they’re all dimples and at peace around you but the next that fake courteous smile floats back and you’re Doctor Sierra once again.

They’re confused, controlled and hide a broken core under that charm.

Brin is 5’7, has ebony skin, hazel eyes, shoulder length hair styled in a silver grey balayage.(I know it’s not exactly steampunk but this is their hair when I picture them in my head.)

7. Atlas Revthorne (M/F/NB)

Atlas is the leader of the resistance and thinks of themself as a robin hood figure. Bombing court houses, aristocratic establishments and snipping out the corrupt nobles, officials is their bread and butter. They’re the most wanted person in the Empire but ranked beneath you thanks to the bounty on your head. The Duke Sizario of Valeris is their main target and behind that wolfish smirk is a broken, angry young person out for revenge and freedom.

Atlas is crude, charming and dangerous. They’ll flirt with you with a dagger at your throat and are a brilliant leader. Unlike most of the people you meet, they don’t skirt around the issue about your conviction. They rub it in your face to get a rise out of you. Unlike Cyrus whose barbs feel deserved and come from a place of great anguish, Atlas likes to play with your temper and drives you crazy in all the right and wrong ways.

You can’t tell where he stands with you. Maybe that’s the way they want it or maybe they know something you don’t.