#so much for being able to write tonight 🙄🙄🙄🙄

[sturnsbae]

can you write about matt and the reader based on the songs better by Khalid and that way by tate McRae?

thank you❤️

BETTER THAT WAY - MATT STURNIOLO

ok the header is so ugly im sorry pls ignore that.

this was VERY rushed and it’s not at all proofread so im sorry if it has mistakes lol

summary: you and matt are keeping things on the low from everyone, but once you start catching feelings it starts to get complicated.

—

it was around september when matt had followed you on instagram, and only a few days later that he had started texting you. it all started off pretty harmless until you suddenly found yourself inviting him over at ungodly hours and smelling him on your sheets the next day.

you can’t help but wonder if maybe you hadn’t followed him back that things would be different, but looking at the chemistry and sexual tension between the two of you, it was inevitable that something would start between you guys. the hardest part of it all surprisingly wasn’t trying to hide it from his brothers, they were clueless, the real issue was avoiding any and all rumors from the fans. this meant no liking each others instagram posts, and most definitely no visible hickeys.

“fuck matt, don’t leave a hickey,” you moan softly as his lips suck the skin on your neck. he pulls back from your neck and hovers over you, looking down at you with a pout.

“i’m sorry, baby, but i can’t have your fans trying to decode who the hell left a big lovebite on my neck,” you chuckle, thinking back to how both of your guys fandoms had reacted when you started following each other on social media.

“hmph, i know. i just wish i could let the whole world know that you’re mine,” he sighs as he rolls off of you and sits up on the edge of the bed. his words feel like a stab in the heart. there’s nothing more that you want than to be able to be public about your… situation… with matt. it wasn’t clear what you guys were, but the big red scratches along his back were a tell tale sign that you guys were at least something.

“oh my god matt, i’m so sorry!” you exclaim as you trace the raw scratches on his back.

he chuckles, “no baby, i’m sorry. i must’ve fucked you too well,” he winks. you just roll your eyes and toss him his shirt that was laying on the floor next to your side of the bed.

“drive safe okay?” you say to him, giving him a small peck on the cheek before he walks off into the dark late night air. he smiles at you before driving away, leaving you with a small pain in your heart. you wish you guys could just doze off into a sleep in each others arms, but you can’t and it kills you. being famous comes at a cost apparently.

—

matty | are you going to larrays bday party tn?

y/n! | yeah i am! are you?

matty | yep! i’m excited to u ;)

y/n! | omfg if we get caught that’s on you

matty | oh please i know how to lock a bathroom door 🙄

y/n! | yeah okay whatever i’ll see u later matt 😭

and just like that, you found yourself putting extra effort into your outfit and makeup for tonight. you subconsciously found yourself putting on your smallest black dress, and putting on matt’s favorite lipstick.

“y/n! it’s so good to see you love!” tara says as she greets you at the door of the party.

“tara hi!! ive missed you it’s been too long!” you exclaim as you hug your friend. as your head scans the room, you notice matt holding a soda in his hand.

“i’ll see you around, okay?” you smile at her before scurrying over to your friends. you all take a shot, which leads to at least two other rounds.

“you look so hot, y/n! you never dress up this much! what’s the reason?” your friend exclaims over the music.

“eh, just felt like it!” you blush, trying to hold back from exposing your secret fling with matt sturniolo, who happens to be staring at you from across the room with a smirk on his lips, admiring you from afar.

“are you… looking at matt?” your friend whispers in your ear, immediately bringing you back to reality.

“what?! oh my god! no! i just zoned out a bit, but anyways lets take another shot yeah?” you say as your eyes widen, trying to think of any way to distract your friend from what she just saw.

after a few minutes, you feel your phone buzz. you look down at see a text from matt.

matty | upstairs bathroom. now.

you bite the insides of your cheeks, stumbling a little as you make your way up the stairs. as you enter the bathroom you see matt waiting for you.

“well hello sir,” you smirk.

“you look… fuck,” he says before he pulls you towards him and places his lips on yours. you chuckle into the kiss as your hands run wildly through his hair. matt gentle lifts you up and places you on the bathroom counter, placing himself between your legs and attaching his lips to your collarbone.

“mmm, matt,” you moan out, gripping his hair gently. matt works his lips all over your body, making your head fall back.

“matty, are you gonna fuck me or what?” you giggle out, clearly drunk.

“absolutely not, y/n. you’re drunk,” he says sternly.

“cmon please? you can’t just drag me up here and give me nothing,” you whine. he just smiles at you and kisses your forehead softly.

“i’m sorry, baby. i’ll come over tomorrow night, okay?” he says, gently rubbing your arm with his thumb. him saying this makes you upset. it reminds you that you’re just his secret sex toy.

you roll your eyes and hop off of the counter, “matt what even are we? i’m so tired of this secretive shit! it’s been like two months of this,” you slur out, very very clearly drunk.

“what? what do you mean?”

you just roll your eyes, “you heard me matt, i wanna be more than this! i like you! a lot!”

“y/n, you’re drunk. we’ll talk about this when you’re sober,” he sighs, running his hand through his hair.

“yeah whatever matt, i’m going back downstairs,” you say, scurrying back down to your friends.

“where the hell were you? you were gone for like… ever!” one of your friends drunkenly states.

“sorry! there was a line in the bathroom, but let’s take more shots pleaseeeee,” you beg, trying to get matt out of your mind and have a good night.

before you even realize it, you’re so drunk that you can barely even function, you’re pure giggles. matt has secretly been keeping at eye on you all night, making sure his girl isn’t getting into trouble.

“matt, we don’t mean to be intrusive but you’ve been staring at y/n all night. is there something going on there?” nick asks his brother, as chris nods his head agreeing with nicks question.

“it’s complicated, i’ll explain later. but i think she’s mad at me, and she’s also really fucking drunk. you guys wouldn’t be mad if i took her home tonight right?” matt asks.

“of course not man, do whatever you need. we won’t ask any questions… well, not until later. you owe us some sort of explanation,” chris laughs.

matt just rolls his eyes as he makes his way over to you, “hey y/n. you’re really drunk, i’m gonna take you home okay?”

“matt! stop it! why are you talking to me! you’re gonna expose our secret!” you exclaim, not realizing how loud you’re being, but no one is really paying attention.

“i don’t care about that anymore, i just wanna make sure you get home safe. please just let me drive you home?” he asks as he wraps an arm around you.

“ugh whatever,” you roll your eyes as you walk off with matt, waving goodbye to your friends who have a puzzled look on their faces.

“nick! hi! i haven’t seen you all night!” you squeal as you get settled in the backseat next to nick.

nick chuckles a little, “hi y/n, it’s good to see you!”

“am i just chopped liver up here?” chris jokes from the front seat.

“oh god no! hi chris!” you exclaim. the boys just laugh softly at your happiness. at a red light matt turns around and looks at you, “y/n i have a sweatshirt somewhere back there if you want it.”

you smile at him, “awww thank you matty!” you find the light gray sweatshirt on the floor by your feet and slip it on, smelling the familiar scent of his cologne that tends to linger in your sheets.

you arrive at your house, and matt walks you to the door. he reaches around the potted plant that sits on your doorstep and grabs the hidden key. “oh my god, i forgot i told you about that!” you say as he unlocks the door for you, smiling at your not so sober state. he then helps you take your makeup off and even helps unzip your dress.

“thank you matty, i love you,” you mutter out as you start to doze off, snuggled in the sheets with matt’s hoodie loosely hugging your body.

matt’s cheeks turn a bright shade of pink at your words, and he wishes he could say it back but he’s much rather wait until you’re sober so you can remember it. “goodnight y/n, i’m sorry i upset you earlier. but i’m gonna make you mine, i promise,” he whispers as he places a gentle kiss on your temple and shuts of the lights.

he locks up your house and heads back to the car, where his brothers sit with a million questions, but they can tell now is not a good time to ask. so they don’t.

—

it’s now late the next day, and you’re finally recovering from your hangover when you get a text from matt.

matty | are u home? i wanna take you somewhere

y/n! | yeah i’m home. everything okay?

matty | i’ll be there in 5

you immediately jump out of bed and rush to put on at least a little mascara and change out of your pajamas into something a little less wrinkled and lazy.

you get into matt’s car and look at him with a puzzled, but happy, look. “so can i ask what’s up?”

“i wanna take you somewhere first before i tell you. but how are you feeling?”

you can’t help but laugh a little, “god i regret my choices last night. i drank way too much.”

“yeah i could tell,” he chuckles.

“thank you so much for taking me home, by the way. i really really appreciate it.”

“always, y/n.”

a few minutes later you guys arrive at a park and matt tells you to stay in the car while he grabs a few things from the trunk. he then walks off into the park and tells you to not look until he comes back to get you, so that’s exactly what you do.

“alright m’lady, come with me!” he laughs as he takes your hand and leads you out of the car and to a small picnic set up.

“matt oh my god! you did not!” you gasp, turning to him with a big smile.

“oh but i did,” he smiles as he sits down on the blanket.

“matt! this is the cutest thing anyone’s ever done for me!” you pout, hugging him gently as you sit down. you guys get settled before he takes your hand in his.

“alright well, the whole reason i did this was because last night you and i got into a little argument. i don’t know if you remember, but you had told me off for keeping this entire thing a secret and admitted your feelings for me. and i just wanted to say that i really, really like you a lot too, so i wanted to make this official. i’m so tired of having to hide you, i wanna show you off. so will you be my girlfriend?”

your heart flutters, and you immediately nod your head before kissing his lips softly.

“so i’m taking that as a yes?” matt chuckles.

“of course matt!”

“good, i’m glad. i’m so glad that i get to publicly call you mine. it’s better that way.”

[thetopichot]

•°♧ Late Night Phone Call P. 1 ♧°•

A little idea that I had last night that I wanted to write about. In this silly little group of headcanons about our beloved Yuuriboys, you have trouble sleeping & the boys offer some help with a nice phone call to help you sleep.

•°◇ Alphonse ◇°•

Al was working a little late tonight at his shop. One of his candy shelves fucking broke & like a shit-load of candy in the jars broke. Now, he's gonna have to spend all fucking night cleaning this up. He sent a text to you saying:

sorry boo

gonna be late coming home

my goddamn shelves broke on me as I was fucking leaving

You didn't mind that he sometimes came home late since he always lets you know why he's late. He doesn't want you worrying so much about him. So, you got ready for bed as usual without him. However, for some reason, you had trouble getting yourself to fall asleep. Was the bed always this freezing cold?

Normally, you would be able to fall asleep without him, but ever since you guys recently moved in together, you kinda had a harder time sleeping whenever he's not with you. So, you decided to check up on Alphonse to help soothe your worry.

Hey babe?

yeah boo? u alright?

Yea, I'm okay. I just miss you right now.

aww ya miss me?

Of course, I do. You ding dong. 🙄

jeez you're so mean to me 😔

but I love you too boo 🫶

You smiled at the text, but it didn't really soothe you completely. You wanted more than that. You wanted to hear his voice.

Do you wanna get on a call?

I'm bored and I can't sleep.

sure boo

Alphonse is calling...

"Hey, boo." You hear Alphonse's tired voice from your phone. You frowned slightly.

"Are you okay, Al?" You asked him.

"Not gonna lie to ya, boo. I feel like ass right now." You hear the sound of shattered glass being moved by a broom. "I just wanna go the fuck home but this glass is a hazard & I don't wanna get sued because of this shit."

"How did that happen, bae?"

"I don't fucking know." He huffed with both frustration & confusion. "As I was gonna close up shop for the night, I heard this loud ass crash from the back. Then, BAM!" He clapped to mimic the sound of the falling shelves. "Then, I was like, 'The fuck was that?' & guess what the fuck I see?" You hummed in response. "The fucking shelves fell off & I'm here cleaning this shit up." He sighed.

Then the call got quiet. "Hey, boo?" No response coming from you. "Boo?" You hummed. Alphonse chuckled. "You finally getting sleepy, boo?"

"Hmm-hm." He couldn't see your smile, but he felt it. "I like your voice. It makes me feel..", you paused as you tried to fight back your sleep, "..safe."

"Really?" Alphonse felt flattered by that statement. He started grinning like a goober as his face flushed a little. "I'm glad to hear that. Maybe I should rant more often."

"That would be nice.." You yawned. "You got another.. rant?"

"You know I do, boo, you know I do."

•°♤ Auron ♤°•

Auron was working late tonight due to the abundance of paperwork. Celebrities did stupid things & did reckless shit. Now he's sitting in his office, trying to tie all of the loose ends created by them. Of course, he's pissed as fuck about it & he's quite close to bang his head on his desk. However, he must show restraint & poise.

He felt bad. You were waiting for him at his penthouse & he would very much rather cuddle with you in bed than to be stuck at his desk. Earlier, you wanted to have a nice movie night with him, but before you were going to prepare some coffee for him, he sent you a text.

I'm sorry, darling. I don't think I'm going to be able to join you in our little movie night.

You frowned as you started to text him back.

Why? What happened?

Just some unfinished paperwork caused by celebrities who know nothing about decency.

I will be here for quite some time, dearest.

But in the meantime, you should head to bed. I don't want to catch you sleeping at your desk, understood?

Sir, yes, sir! 🫡

He smiled softly at the message as he placed his phone down on his desk. However, it was going to be a long night for the both of you. You began your bedtime ritual without Auron & got as snug as a bug in a rug but for some strange reason, you couldn't fall asleep. The bed felt more... emptier & colder than usual. Yeah, sure, there were nights that he would come home late, but this night made you long for him more than normal.

You felt nervous about texting him. You didn't want to come off as too needy, but he did say that you could come to him if you needed anything. You decided to push down those thoughts & just text him.

Hey, hun?

Yes?

Would it be alright if we got on a call?

Of course, Rook.

Auron is calling...

"Good evening." Auron's voice spoke. "Shouldn't you be sleeping by now? It's not like you to be up this late, my dear."

"I should be asking the same thing." Auron chuckled.

"To be fair, I've already told you why," Auron sighed, "However, I could go into further detail if you like." You hummed a 'Yes'. You hear Auron adjusting himself as he prepares to rant. "Well, our most recent celebrity was caught in a controversy with the others. Being quite abrasive towards fans & collaborators. Now, I'm here trying to help sort everything out since this all came last fucking minute." He groans. "I'm trying to at least organize everything now, so it won't be such a pain the ass at work tomorrow."

Auron paused as he heard a light snore from his phone. "Rook?" No answer. "Rookie?"

"Hmm?" You answered sleepily. Auron laughed.

"Am I boring you to sleep, dearest?"

"No. It's just... your voice is really soothing." You admitted. You couldn't see it, but Auron's face flushed slightly. He was giddy inside, but he was trying to hide it.

"Oh, really? You enjoy the sound of my voice?" His voice got softer. "I might as well talk to you to sleep."

"Yes, please." You felt Auron's unseen smile.

"Very well, then. What should I discuss?"

•°♧ Big Red/Lucien ♧°•

You were visiting family for the holidays & you told Lucien to babysit your home for the weekend. As much as you loved your man, bringing a big demon boyfriend would raise a shit load of questions & neither of you are feeling up to answering all of them. Lucien is also learning how to use a phone since, in Hell, they don't really have phones & he has big ass hands which makes it harder for typing.

did u male it tg your parenys house yet?

Yeah, I did. Is there something you need, baby?

i wass just woreied about you angel

Aw, don't worry. I'm fine.

Are you doing alright without me?

yeah i jist moss you so much :(

I miss you, too. ❤️

Shit, wait. I gotta go. I'll see you later, babe.

stat safe angel

"What are you smiling about?" Your cousin asked while grinning devilishly. "Is it your boyfriend?"

You rolled your eyes. "Yes but, that's none of your business."

"Are we gonna meet him one day?" They asked. You looked nervous but, you still remained calm.

"He's super busy all of the time but, maybe one day." They smiled at the answer. Thank god. Your cousin, well at least this one, doesn't really ask as many questions. If it was your other cousins or any of your other family members, you would be genuinely fucked. Your parents prepared a room for you since you didn't like sharing rooms with your family & you enjoy your personal space. You unpacked your luggage & started make your temporary room more to your liking.

You went straight to bed after a long night with your family at dinner. You didn't really have the energy to do jack-shit so, you just flopped onto the bed & curled into a ball. However, you felt.. uncomfortable & goddamn this bed was so fucking cold. You got up from your bed to check if there was a heater anywhere.

There was! You turned it on &..! Uh.. it's warm I guess? It didn't really feel warm. Eh, maybe you should give it time to heat up & maybe the room will be finally warm. Well guess what my friend? It's been nearly 30 minutes & you've been staring at the ceiling in a cold ass room. You're genuinely pissed off.

You turned over to your side to look at the empty spot next to you. You missed him. You missed him so much but for his safety, you don't want anything terrible happening to him. Your thoughts were soon interrupted by your phone ringing.

Big Red is calling...

"Angel?" You heard his voice & the sound of something sizzling.

"Yeah, babe? You didn't burn down our house, did ya?" You raised your eyebrow.

"Oh, no no no. Everything is fine! Surprisingly. I'm starting to believe you have no trust in me, love." He laughed. "Oh, shit! Hells!" He hissed in pain.

You looked at your phone concerned. "You alright, babe?"

"Hmm. I'm fine. I just burned myself trying to flip my omelet with my hand." You stared at your phone like 'The fuck?' & you starting laughing. "What's so funny?"

"You." You smiled tiredly. "I'm glad that you called me. Speaking of which..., why did you call me?"

"Oh, I just wanted to check up on you. I kinda had a small feeling that you would be still awake. Ooh, Saffron!"

"A feeling?" You tilted your head.

"Well, you do really like my warmth. I assumed you would hard time sleeping without me." You tried so hard not to smile. You hated how much he was right. "I take that silence as a yes."

"No."

"You sure?"

"Fine. Yes, I am having hard time sleeping without you." You admitted & you huffed sadly. "I miss you, Bigs."

A short silence followed after. "You know, there's something I can do that can help you fall asleep."

"Yeah, what's that?" You asked.

"I've been watching those cooking asmrs that you like so much & I feel so mesmerized by it. It's like being put under a spell." He did jazz hands behind the phone. "I'm also cooking right now so, I was thinking it would be the perfect opportunity!"

"That sounds nice.." You heard Lucien opening the fridge & the sound of a bag crinkling.

"Now, should I throw in some bacon bits?"

•°♡ Charlie ♡°•

Charlie had to head home after a long night with you & you both had work tomorrow so, you both had to wrap up your little smooching session for the night. You both hated saying good-bye but, there was always something you both did that helped eased this pain. The magical thing called texting. God bless technology in this scenario, am I right?

Are you home yet?

almost casper

i left 5 minutes ago n' you already miss me?

Well, yeah. Is that a problem? 🤨

no no

i dont mind cas i think its just sweet

cause i miss you too 💛

I'm glad that we feel the same.

And love?

yea?

You are watching where you're going, right?

yea im fine y?

Good. Cause I don't want you to get hit by a car.

Because last time, you didn't watch where you were going and I had to save your ass from getting run over.

So, please don't almost die.

Again.

i would say no promises

but for you cas? i promise

I love you, Charlie.

i love you even more casper

You smiled at his last text. Jeez, you loved that boy very much & he loved you very much in return. You guys are practically inseparable ever since you both found eachother years later. The reason you both hated saying good-bye was because of the "What if?" questions. They would both plague your minds whenever you were apart.

What if something really bad happened to Charlie? What if you guys never spoke to eachother again? What if? 'Fuck that shit.' You thought as you laid in bed. 'Charlie is fine. I just texted him so, I know he's fine.' You tossed to the side. 'Everything is okay.' You closed your eyes & that was it for night.

...

Was it though? You're wide awake so, yeah that was not it for the night. The bed was uncomfortable as shit without Charlie but, you felt like you had to suck it up. You didn't want to come off as too needy & clingy. You hated that. What if that scares him off?

Then, the goddamn 'What If?' questions plagued your mind again. 'This fucking sucks.' You laid there. 'I wish he was here. If he was here maybe this shit would stop.' Ding! A notification from your phone. It would be wise to pick that up, ya know?

It was like if he heard your thoughts. It was a text from Charlie.

hey cas?

u still up?

Yeah, I am. What's up?

o nothin its just

i cant sleep

Me, neither. Lol.

wait y?

i thought u b sleepin by now

dont u have work tmr?

I should be asking you the same thing.

yea ur right

but u get up earlier than i do

I know.

I just fucking miss you, rn.

And I just feel..

So goddamn lonely.

I'm sorry.

There was a long pause after that message you've sent. Shit. You scared him off, didn't you? That was what you thought until.. Ding!

u don't have to b sorry cas

i miss u a lot too

how about this

we can get on a call

if ya want 2

I'd love to.

Charlie is calling...

"Cas?" It was Charlie.

"Yes, Chuckie?" Your voice sounded relieved but at the same time, tired out. Hearing Charlie's voice made you feel so much better.

"Are you doing okay?" He sounded concerned. "I saw the messages. Of course, I fucking did. Damn it, Charlie. Anyway, that don't matter. I just wanted to call you to help ya maybe?"

"I'm just-" You sighed. "I'm sorry." You placed your phone back down your drawer.

"That's the thing, Cas. Whatcha' sorry for? You didn't do anything wrong. Well, I hope ya didn't."

"I'm sorry for being so damn clingy. I was just worried that I scared you off or some shit." Charlie was taken aback by this.

"But you haven't been clingy? Like at all actually." Charlie paused to think for a moment. "Wait? Are you talking about earlier when you said ya missed after I left?"

"Yes." He heard the hurt in your voice.

"Casper." He said in a serious tone. "You checking up on me is not being clingy! It's very sweet of you that think about me & care about me. I care about you a lot too, Cas."

"So, I'm not being too much?" You asked.

"No. No, ya not." Charlie reassured. "If you were being too much, I would've let ya know. It's the whole point of boundaries! You set boundaries & I set boundaries but that don't mean that you're bad. It means that you're uncomfortable or I'm uncomfortable & we can improve on it."

"Life is all about improving & many people in my life helped me learned that. You helped me learned that, Cas." He says reassuringly. "You're amazing. So, don't be a jackass to yourself."

"Thank you, Charlie." You smiled. "Thank you so much."

"Anytime, Cas."

Then a silence followed after but you broke the quiet barrier.

"Hey, Chuckie?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Would it be okay if you could stay on call with me? Until I fall asleep?"

"Of course, Casper. Anything for you."

☆ミ Author's Notes Underneath 👇 ☆ミ

🩷 - Whoop! Whoop! Part 1 is done. Originally, I was going to make like the whole thing in one go but this is like collection of one shots into one post. I wanted to get this out before 2024 but you know, I had other plans. So expect Part 2 to come out next year technically since it's not gonna come out until 2024.

I was also trying something new & creative with this so expect this to not be good because it's probably ass but if you like it, I guess I did good. I tried my best & I'm glad I did.

[wonwoonlight]

are you like me too? / kwon soonyoung

⇢ Soonyoung x fem!Reader

⇢ word count: 1.1k

⇢ angst // breakup(??)!au // comfort?

⇢ A/N: i wrote this in like, 30 minutes bc i was watching the epik high and hosh's performance in akmu's show and got a random burst of writing juice so. enjoy? i'm obsessed w the song and this particular part btw so it's definitely inspired by that. as always not proofread but do enjoy somehow lol

요즘 뭘 먹고 마시고 어떤 행복을 찾는지 what are you eating and drinking these days? what kid of happiness are you looking for? epik high ft. hoshi - screen time

[ - - - ]

Soonyoung has never felt so stupid.

But, then again, being drunk and regretful at the same time is an obvious recipe for disaster.

He doesn’t even usually get drunk, as he’s often already passed out before he gets to that point. But there’s something about tonight that compels him to keep on throwing back drinks over drinks even though Jihoon is already looking at him in worry and Chaeyoung is trying to stop him from getting more.

But of course, drunk Kwon Soonyoung is even more hard headed than normal Kwon Soonyoung and Jihoon eventually tells the younger girl to just stop trying because perhaps the guy needs it.

After all, Jihoon knows Soonyoung has been regretting his decision to end… whatever it is he had with a certain someone and he hasn’t had the chance to properly throw himself a pity party that it’s probably been eating him inside out for the past week.

“Why the fuck did I…” He mutters to himself, not even caring that two of his friends are there worried out of their minds. He eventually kicks them out an hour later because he can only handle so much pity being thrown his way in his own fucking house. 

He’s pitiful–pathetic, he knows, but it doesn’t make things any better and he does need this to (hopefully) make peace with whatever stupid decision he made last week to end things with you.

You’re not even his girlfriend–and whose fault is that?–he swallows another shot bitterly. And yet suddenly not having you any longer feels more painful than the last time he broke up with his ex-girlfriend.

Is it simply the alcohol, bubbling thoughts into his mind? Amplifying the pains even though it’s not really all that?

He glares at his phone, silent with nonexistent notifications from you. And then he looks at the mirror and glare at himself for pushing himself into such a situation.

Why did he think it was a good call to cut you off his life when it was him who talked to you first, asked for your number, begged you for a chance to go on dates, and now grovelling in his own room because he told you that he thinks it’s better to stop seeing each other when you’re not even yet in a relationship.

What was there to end, really?

A possibility, perhaps. 

Love that was possibly growing in your heart that he cruelly plucked when it hadn’t even bloomed.

Is that a good thing, then?

Would it hurt more for you if your feelings had grown deeper than what you currently harbour towards him?

He takes his phone and scrolls through your old texts once again. He can probably recite them in his sleep at this point, but he doesn’t care because he misses you and he wishes he still has you–your texts, your laughter, your touch, your voice–you. 

🧡: look at this dumb dog lmaoooo

how can u call him dumb :(

hes cute u meanie :(

🧡: //youre/// dumb🙄🙄

🧡: you know i dont mean it like that 😠😠😠😠

🧡: how dare you make me a villain against dogs!!!!

He takes a deep breath as he plays the video you sent for the nth time, still having it in him to smile at your small dog trying to jump into the sofa even though you had laid out a perfectly new dog stairs right next to it.

He presses his lips together at the sound of your laughter in the background, probably the only way he’s still able to hear it now. 

It’s only been a week. He knows it’s only been a fucking week. But he’s already wondering how you’re doing and who’s making you laugh, if you get to eat that dumpling that you’ve been wanting to try since last month, if you’re sending your dog videos to someone else now, if you’re still watching the drama that you were watching with him.

…If someone’s holding you because, maybe… and just maybe… you’re also as sad as he is.

He hopes you’re not though. He doesn’t wish this wrenching feeling in his chest upon you.

He hopes you don’t like him enough to be as sad as he is.

He hopes you don’t like him enough to drink yourself to sleep–to numb the pain and silence the voices inside your head.

Closing his eyes, he contemplates on calling you. But he remembers that it was him who rids himself of that choice.

“Hello?”

Fuck. He’s even imagining your voice now.

“Hello?” Your voice calls once again, and Soonyoung grips his phone tighter because it’s getting too real and perhaps it is time to stop drinking. “Soonyoung? Are you there? Are you okay?”

He jumps when he realises it’s actually you, panics when he realises he accidentally presses call when he’s too deep in his thoughts. For someone who contemplated on calling you just not too long ago, he’s suddenly hyper aware of the situation and no longer sure what to say.

He opens his mouth to say something, but a violent cough makes it out of his lips–enough for him to hit his chest because it feels like he’s about to vomit though there’s nothing in his throat.

He hears you panic from the other side, and as much as he wants to tell you not to worry and apologize, he couldn’t do it because his head is spinning and a part of him wants you to know that he’s hurting and he’s regretting. 

You already hang up once he’s calmed down.

And it’s thirty minutes later someone knocks on his door, his eyes widening in shock when he finds you on the other side, seemingly running out of your place in a hurry because you simply have a jacket over your pajamas. 

“Are you okay?” You look up in worry, your hand already busy trying to see his temperature. It’s when you realize that Soonyoung has been looking at you in silence that it finally hits you that you’re not supposed to do this.

That he… he breaks up with you before you even begin dating and you’re probably out of your fucking mind for thinking that you should rush to him the moment you think he might need help.

Mistaking his silence as resentment, you quickly retract your hand and apologize. But before you can even turn away, Soonyoung pulls you into his place and closes the door and then wraps his arms around you.

You can’t even begin to comprehend what’s happening, but when you feel his body shaking and hear him trying to hide his tears on your shoulder, you decide it doesn’t matter.

For whatever reason, Soonyoung is hurting.

Whether he’s hurting because of you or some other reason, he’s hurting and he’s looking for comfort in you if the way he holds you so tight that it hurts a little and the smell of alcohol on him says anything.

You hug him back and Soonyoung cries harder. 

[ - - - ]

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don’t allow any reposting, translation, and any other kind of redistribution of this fic. Please tell me if you’re aware of anyone doing this without my permission.

A/N: wow been so long since i wrote for him???

[ddarker-dreams]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ajakalndjdla

My brain is in mush and my heart in shambles. Obligatory hug to n darling #5

From last chapter's ending I knew the fallout was going go hard and it definitely did not disappoint.

First, so much suspense. That first section with Kafka deliberately speaking to Darling, taunting her inside Blade memories as it slowly builds up to the reveal made me go from "huh what?" to "oh shieeeet that explains it". It was all part of the damn script.

As you mentioned, Bladie really gets to show off multiple sides. Unfortunately none of them are quite selfless enough to just GO AWAY🙄🤣 also that little snippet with Baiheng and the cloud quintet 😢

Him going "yes it's that easy for me" and daring her to repeat her words was another chilling moment, the sheer lengths he's willing to go for this...

The last part with their "deal" and promise felt like a cruel parody down to the way Lear addressed her 😩 the one comfort I will take is knowing Darling and Lear got to bang and that her "boyfriend" will forever live rent-free in Blade's mind

I love Darling for doing her best. She's gone through so much, she IS going through so much but her priority is still making sure her home and Lear and Nona are safe, even if she has to sell her soul and dignity to not one but TWO devils😭😭

Nexus was a really fun (if painful) journey to go through, the setting of Eris itself was interesting and the characters too! Loved the ride to sexy pain city. Lock writing too good, tonight I'll sleep with Thoughts ™️

And as always, take care Lock and bun bun! ♥️ Have a good day~

AA i'm glad to hear that the suspense came across ... it might sound weird from a writer who primarily writes horror/thriller, but whenever i'm working on scenes like that, i wonder if they'll come across how i intended. this one in particular i really wanted to get right since i wrote the entire story mostly for the ending dsjfgksgj so thank you very much!!!

n darling is in her kaneki ken era... she's able to hold it together though, knowing that lear and nona's well-beings rely on her. it's interesting that what landed her in this situation to begin with is also what sustains her through it. otherwise she'd just constantly be trying to scratch blade's eyes out like a feral cat.

'Loved the ride to sexy pain city' LMAOO i love this description sgjkdgk i think that sums up the Tone™ pretty well.

thank you very much for reading and sharing your thoughts!! there is nothing more i could ask for 🥺💖

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Hey TWEAM I have covid 🙄

Yay me! Just in time to ruin every single Christmas plan I had. But, I guess that means I have time to write. This one might be in a few parts. Enjoy!

#Part one

I walk into the Mexican restaurant and I'm a bit early. It's so fancy inside and I'm immediately uncomfortable. What am I even doing here? My legs feel like lead as I walk up to the matre'd to tell him what party I am joining.

"Right this way, Madame" he says as I follow him through this small, but impressive, dining room.

The table he takes me to is huge. It takes up the entire length of the back wall. Every seat already has a setting with water and what looks like champagne. I look around until I find the name of the person I'm supposed to meet. I find it quickly so I check the seats on either side of it and mine just says his name and guest. I get a weird pang in my belly. Something feels off. I thought he said he would give them my full name. Oh well, maybe I misheard. I sit down and check the time on my phone. Still a little bit early. So, I take my compact out of my purse and check my appearance. The only thing I don't like is the unmistakable look of anxiety on my face. I sit back and take a deep breath. And another one.

I start to notice the people that are being seated. Some I recognize and others I don't. How am I in the room with so many celebrities? What is my life right now? I realize I didn't look at all the placecards and for a brief moment my anxiety is replaced with the excitement of seeing who else shows up.

It's short lived because when I look at my phone, it's well past our meeting time. He told me 7 and it's now 7:15. I press the text bubble in my phone to make sure I didn't miss any messages from him. But, there's nothing.

The last time I talked to him was at around 11am this morning. "See you tonight. 7pm." was all it said. I responded "can't wait!" But nothing was returned. I figured he was busy and took my only text from him as a confirmation.

I get a little antsy in my chair. It's now 7:25. Seats are being filled rapidly. Maybe he's running a bit late and dinner doesn't start til 7:30 or 8? But, why can't he just send a text saying he's late? I start to realize that I may be stood up tonight. I start sweating a bit and I'm visibly uncomfortable. I send him a text.

"where are you? Is everything ok?"

I tell myself I will give him til 7:45 to either respond or show up. After that I'm out of here. This was supposed to be our first date. I met him at a coffee shop when he accidentally bumped into me in the doorway. Hot coffee spilling all over the floor. He helped me clean it up and we started chatting. He told me his name and said he was an up and coming actor and then asked me to join him at a dinner party this saturday. We exchanged numbers and texted a bit over the two days leading up to our date. Nonetheless, I didn't know him from Adam, so I was fully prepared to walk out of here.

My agitation becomes more obvious as I'm checking my phone constantly and checking around the room just as much. No sign of him. Anybody paying attention to me right now would probably be able to guess that I'm being stood up. Finally, it's 7:45 and I'm fed up. I let out a huff of air from my lungs. I stand up and swing my purse onto my shoulder. I look up to see a man standing up directly across the table from me. He has dark eyes and curly sandy blonde hair. His eyes are boring into me. They look soft like he knows what Is happening. My body twitches a bit when I realize how ruggedly handsome he is. A tamed beard. Full lips. The darkest eyes I've ever seen on a man. Veiny arms stretch out under the rolled up sleeves of his baby blue cardigan. He's holding a glass of wine. His eyes haven't left me. I shoot him a shy smile and he returns it with a smile that melts me. Deep dimples and white teeth. I turn to walk away and out of my periphery I see him step away from his chair so fast. He's sprinting around the table and towards me. He's Suddenly in front of me, blocking my way out.

"Uhh, Hi I'm Evan" he put his hand out and I shake it

I tell him my name and he smiles

"That's a pretty name" he says nervously

"Thanks. Um, I have to go, but nice to meet you" I say softly

"Hey, are you ok?" He asks "You look frazzled.."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm being stood up right now" embarrassment turning my cheeks red.

"What douchebag would stand YOU up?" He laughs nervously

"Well, I don't know him well, so I really don't know" I'm at a loss for words "I'm more embarrassed about being here for a fancy dinner Im not supposed to really be at"

"Well, how about you be my date? Then you can stay. And you know, we can chat"

I can only just stare "Oh, you don't have to do that. I'm fine. You don't have to feel bad for me." I laugh my nerves away.

"The only person I would feel bad for if you leave is me." Dimples. God, the dimples.

I stare at him for a minute then say "Ok, sure. Thank you."

oh no, i’m sorry you caught covid! everyone is sick right now 😷 big bah humbug moment.. wishing you a speedy recovery, and thank you for sharing your writing with us 🥹

[tenrose]

Now that I've been living on my own, alone for years, I got pretty accustomed to it and I very rarely feel the loneliness. Well except for tonight I guess 🙄

The thing is, I don't feel it as in, cry about being lonely for hours like I used to, when I do this, it's a major clue about my depression being back. No, I like my independence and I honestly can't imagine living romantically with someone. The more I grow up the more the idea of sharing your life with someone so intimately with someone feel like a weird concept to me??? I just don't get it. And people never get why I don't get it. I never met someone who understand it. My LGBT friends who are familiar with aromantism do understand to some instead, but the truth is, I never met an aro person irl (or maybe I did but I didn't know so anyway I couldn't share my thoughts with them) and even though I know I can't be the only person feeling like that, I have nobody with who I can talk about it and know we understand each other. Because romantic love is so deeply rooted in society, that it's just really hard to conceive for anyone who don't experience it, and tbh sometimes it's hard to conceive for me too. And idk maybe they'll right and one day I'll fall in love and find "the right person". What matters to me is that I absolutely do not feel the need for, and it's not really the thing that bothers me in my loneliness.

Also, I am someone who take pride in being independent, which lead to fucked up situations cause I over complicate my life by not having my driving licence and having anxiety and generally speaking a fucked up brain who can't execute simple tasks. And that means that no matter how independent I want to be. I need people and it sucks because I don't ask and it leads to fucked up situations and nervous breakdowns. The idea to not ask for help is so deeply rooted in me, it's honestly just making things worse. But anyway yes I take pride in making things alone. I'm very proud of myself for being able to travel alone, and it's not as easy as I pretend it to be. Nothing is easy as I pretend it to be. But I'll keep doing it.

And yes it would be nice to have someone. Or some people. All my friends are now scattered across the country so we rarely see each other and I miss them a lot sometimes. I know this website likes to joke, about having a big ass house with friends. But I'm not joking about it. I want my close friends to live by my side. I don't want anyone or myself to be restricted to do anything, and I sure want my personal space. But being able to share meals, watch a movie with a few people, and most importantly being able to talk to someone when I need to, I want that. I try not think about it, well except tonight apparently, because I desperately crave it. And as much as I love my friends, I would love to meet someone aro, someone who share similar feelings with me. And more generally I would love to meet new friends in my town, so I can go out more... but also I never go out 🤷

Anyway this posts got out of control once I started writing it lmao

[sexualrevoluti0n]

Y'know what, I'm really fucking angry with my ex tonight and I can't sleep because of it so I'm gonna write some of it out here in the hopes that it'll get it out of my mind so I can rest. It's just a big long vent so feel free to scroll by.

He said that he'd left because my mental health was too much for him, which has pissed me off more because when things were really bad I told him I wanted to admit myself as an inpatient to get help because that really helped me in the past and I was having constant flashbacks at that point, and he convinced me not to go. He said he wouldn't be able to cope without me, he wouldn't be able to manage in the house on his own (for like a couple of weeks, seriously?!) and that it wasn't that bad, that we didn't need to resort to that. He stopped me from being help before things got to a crisis point, and then when a few months later they got to that stage because I had no support (and he'd told me multiple times that he didn't want to hear about my mental health struggles so I had no support from him) he acted like he couldn't have seen any of this coming and I was just too much for him to handle and such a burden. When he actively prevented me from getting help and getting better before it got to that stage!

He came round this week to bring some of my things back but forgot basically all of the things. Acted shocked at the amount of his stuff that's still here - it would take multiple car loads to take all his stuff and furniture he's left.

Not to mention that he then spent the whole time he was here this week telling me how hard this all is for him, how awful he feels for leaving me because of my mental health, what a monster and a terrible human being he must be, all woe is me, everyone hates me, no one has spoken to me in months, let me emotionally dump all my current mental health struggles and suicidal ideation on you without asking if you have capacity for this when this is exactly the reason I'm saying I left you. I got forced into the comfort and rescue role once again, and he spent the whole time telling me that I was wrong, that the reason people weren't taking to him had nothing to do with the fact that he hadn't tried to talk to any of them in 5 or 6 months and was actually because everyone hates him. I spent sooo long trying to say that friendships work both ways, and that people often assume a friend is busy if they don't hear from them, and that doesn't necessarily mean they hate you. He said he was really hurt that he hadn't been hanging out or speaking with any friends when I had, and when I said that I'd been actively reaching out and arranging things with people regularly since he moved out he just kept telling me that it had nothing to do with that and that he's just such a terrible unlikeable person and none of those people are his friends, and how I knew so-and-so first actually so they're my friends not his, and it was just. So. Fucking. Exhausting. I'd said that I thought if some of his friends knew he wanted to hang out then they'd probably be up for doing something with him, but he was adamant that under no condition would he reach out or try to talk to anyone because they all hated him and he deserved it etc etc, literally went on so much about that and that he would not speak to anyone. Messaged me later saying he'd looked on Facebook and it just made him sad so he'd never go on again 🙄

And then today it turns out he's posted on facebook saying that he misses hanging out with friends and wants to see them. Just. Ffs dude. Stop being a fucking hypocrite.

He messaged me saying we still need to sort out rent. I've been busting my ass constantly chasing estate agent and landlord to change the tenancy and he has done fuck all about anything this entire time. There's no we, it's just me doing everything, like it was our entire relationship. All of the mental load, running everything in the entire household as well as managing his constant rollercoaster depression that he refused to ever get help for, and when he did try counselling he would stop the second he started feeling slightly less bad, and not actually follow through until he was properly stable and functional.

I'm pissed off because my mental health was doing really well before we got together, but his depressive episodes always lasted so long and he would never speak to friends or family about it so I was the only support, and I gradually got worse and worse myself from only ever hearing the most pessimistic answers to everything, so that I started to think that way myself. Because what was the point of trying to help him when I'd be told everything I said to help was wrong, that nothing would ever change, there was no point to anything but that that was just normal and how life was and that there was no point trying to change anything. Hearing that constantly for so fucking long.

I'd just got to the point where I was finally stable and happy and not having flashbacks again and had come off all my meds and was finally starting to enjoy life again when he decided that actually, after 5 years of me having to be monogamous with him because he was too anxious to be ok with me being polyam (which he knew when we got together and said was fine with but changed his tune once he actually saw me being interested in acting) that actually he was totally poly cause this cute person liked him, and we didn't need to have any conversations ever about what we wanted from this new relationship, no we didn't need to know what anyone's boundaries were, but oh sorry he forgot he promised to pick me up from the station cause he was taking to the other partner! oh he forgot he'd told me he was back from this partner's today and that I was waiting for him before making dinner, he wasn't actually back til late on Tuesday, but he feels sooo bad about this he's such a terrible person. oh he forgot we had plans tonight, he was too excited and planned a thing with the new partner, oh he forgot we had a party with friends doing all his favourite things this weekend, he was going to visit the new partner instead. You're feeling left out and like you're second best? I don't understand why would feel like that, you don't need to be jealous it's poly, no one's more important. Oh by the way it's been 6 weeks and me and the new partner are getting handfasted and talking about living together. There's no reason to be anxious it's not important it's all in your head, I love you both equally. I don't know why you want to talk about what we all want from relationships, we don't need to do all of that. You don't need to be uptight or worried. Yes fine sure let's have a talk about boundaries around sex when we're in the same house. But actually me and them are just gonna fuck anytime we want in any room and not have the discussion we promised, screw your boundaries. Idgaf that you've been waiting the whole two weeks our partner is here for this conversation to happen and have not been initiating anything sexual and turning down advances until you knew what everyone was comfortable with. We don't care about what anyone else apart from the two of us want. Of course you're still important. Actually your insecurity is getting really difficult to deal with. You need to get help to stop being so jealous.

[collectivecloseness]

Oh woah I wasn't expecting you to write all that, god bless you. Girlie took one look at his cute face looking up at her, came all over his dick and nearly fell in love for a second lol I love that. And since Kurt got he wanted he would probably be the happiest little bunny afterwards, super thankful and cuddly. Wrapping his arms around your torso and clinging to your side like a koala, burrowing his head in your chest like "Mmm your the best!" and she has to consciously be like "Aww- wait stop, he is NOT cute. You can't think he's cute. He's a Terrible, Bad Guy, he is NOT cute."

Also idk what's wrong with me but the idea of Kurt throwing a mini tantrum when he's not getting fucked is the most adorable thing ever to me, that's my new headcanon now.

Np man! Thanks for sending it in. And no yeah he’s totally fucked out afterwards. You’d think he was doing all the hard work 🙄 lol but he absolutely uses the last bit of strength he has to roll you off him just a bit. Not too much, he still wants part of you on top of him, almost as if you wanted to be there if you’re on top, but he’s wrapping his arms around your side, breathing heavily into your chest as he holds you. He probably kisses up and down your face too, it was just instinct on his behalf, to give you those little kisses. And it definitely sparks some amount of joy feeling those against your cheek, making you almost smile. But you try not to. You have no idea what you’re feeling right now. Your head is foggy, your chest is pounding, and your cunt is throbbing for just a bit more.

He might fall asleep tbh. But he would fall asleep with you tight- safe- in his grip. You are not getting out of his hold, even while he’s asleep. You may be lucky enough to say something like “well I better get going for tonight” and start putting your clothes on while he’s so tuckered out, that it may convince his brain this was just normal, like a one night stand, or a first date, and not that he’d literally just kidnapped you like an hour ago and you had every right to go straight to the police. Like I said, you’d probably have to see how long you can hold the dom position between you two, because kurt’s definitely gonna make all the decisions otherwise. And once the magic wears off a little, kurts probably gonna realise that as you’re still alive, there’s a multitude of consequences that could happen for his actions, and what comes next. And he’s gonna have to decide quick what he wants to do with you, and how he goes about it.

He’s good with planning, but he may panic when he realises you’re not just eating breakfast with him in bed after a successful night together, you were kicking and screaming and knocked unconscious by him last night, and you have no idea where you are, and he doesn’t even really know who you are. Or if anyone’s gonna know you’re missing. Will you tell people what really happened? Will he let you get that chance? Or is eating breakfast in bed together watching tv gonna be the new normal for both of your lives? Even if it takes Kurt some time to get you there.

EDIT: sorry forgot to add!!

Kurt probably would sometimes get almost tantrumy, especially if it was a tense high pressure scenario; like he’d just been bad and knew he needed some control, he could control you if you were scared he could kill you. Or sometimes if you two are getting kinky and you’re teasing him way too much, or being mean, he’s not very patient. He can get pouty or teary, sometimes he cries and looks so seriously sad because he knowwwwws it gets you to give in and be nice to him (even though he teased you into being degrading and teasing bc he wanted that), but sometimes he gets bratty and will speak his mind with not a small amount of gestures, including crossing his arms over his chest, even as his whole body’s rising up and down as you’re fucking him. But a lot of the time, his tantrums come from not being able to touch you, and that is such a cute detail in your mind it always makes you melt into eventually letting him get what he needs with a coo

[mtnkat3]

W.9.28.2022 10.29pm est

Whew! Ok Lord!

Thank You!

You are keeping me busy getting tasks done & helping me feel productive again!☺️⚓🙏🙇‍♀️

I mean, yes, I had a bad night & running on ~4 hours sleep. Blood sugar drop at 5am then sinus drainage/ibs for 2 hours sucked! Like flying rubber dog doo on a C-5 to china! Lol! Yeah, one of my favorite lines!

And of course I had stayed up writing last night's til like 1am. I ~thought~ wh was asleep & could go to bed. Psyche! Because he's made 2 bathrooms inoperable, & because I have rebuilt every piece of my own toilet to the point only the porcelain is still original.. so.. uses my bathroom. 🙄🤦‍♀️

I SO cannot wait to have my own clean space! I am not the type of woman to want stuff all over the countertops. The rare special occasions I wear makeup I put it away in my carrier cases. Hair brushes, combs, do-dads. Put away. I like clean but lived in.

But I got up.

Got to work. Heck I got to doing so many things that I forgot to take my morning meds! [Which, btw Lord. I pray to detox so I will be rid of all of them & the cgm. Really hate having such a thing. Too much like the mark of the beast.] But well, this morning! Being woken because my blood sugar was gonna bottom out.. it was a life saver. Oh! Thanks for showing me 1 butterscotch hard candy is enough!

But feeling accomplished Lord.

It's a good thing!

But I also want the people in my life to know how much I appreciate them!

It's why I write, it's why I like♡. [Even when the bulk are people that I don't speak to here, I feel like God You appreciate me putting forth this effort!] I think about each person I speak to & care about. Wanting to give each of them a hug multiple times a day! I really do miss each, & the ability to give hugs!

Kinda think I finally understand that I hit the wall as far as being isolated from people I care about. I feel my soul's Mate.../s.. sigh.. God please??? I feel him.. even though I don't know.. & I know You do Lord! Let him know... I am, & always be, his huckleberry. I'm not a shrinking violet type of princess. I expect to contribute, in whatever form that comes Lord. Only You Lord know.. You can use my life like Sarah, or You may use me like a warrior nun. Or whatever combination because I rather enjoy watching science shows, building Fedora/Redhat Linux based computers, as I also enjoy watching my mandevilla still have blossoms, cherry tomato bushes producing & my herbs & ferns being happy. Would my soul's Mate.../s sigh... enjoy being in the kitchen with me Lord? I pray so. But. It is Your Will, not mine own. I only know...I love You Lord. And that I will work so that as I work I become the best me so that Your Plan will manifest in my life. You give me energy, a stubborn will to survive & determination to make my goals a reality. To make the dreams You Lord have shown me actually happen! I have never been the type to give up. And thank You Lord for reminding me of the woman You Created me to be! The woman You molded with hard working parents, that as much as I grew up with television & things like 'Scarecrow & Mrs. King,' I really only watch things like Barnwood Builders & TWC anymore! Although I lost both of those favorites when had to downgrade to limited basic. Argh! I mean what the heck?!?! The Weather Channel not on limited basic???? So keep watching crazy things, but don't be informed about the weather!?!??! That's insane to me! But I watched another crazy, zany b movie tonight as writing this. "Lava Storm" 2008. With Ian Ziering. I love the cheesy bad science! Lmao!

Just so tired Lord. Good thing I started this early, kept getting dozy. I so can't believe that weather has changed so much that I'm still wear shorts! In high school, I'd have been in turtlenecks, & sweatshirts & needing a coat! I so love Autumn & the changing of the seasons Lord! And I can't wait to be able to decorate & make where I live into a home. To be away from wh scrooge self & this place.

Oh! Today I got my counseling forms filled out, always paperwork. But praying for real help. As I also dealt with emails, that QDRO is almost done.

Today has been a good day! And I thank You Lord for that!

Even with the headache from the weather/allergies. I have been feeling more like myself. But must stay vigilant to thwart the adversary from turning me into the Blue Ridge Parkway, full of twisty turns, switchbacks, & hills. As much as I love those mountains & driving during autumn, I want to get back onto the train tracks be on Your righteous woman path Lord!

Just.. please tell my soul's Mate.../s sigh... tell him.. I love him, & I feel him, & I miss him. That I will always wait & never give up! Not on You Lord. Not on life. And not on Your Blessing me such that I feel like I've won life's lottery! To have finally gotten my life right!

oh Lord.. please??? I know... sigh..

Believe. And oh how do I Lord!

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

Thank You Jesus for loving me!

Your sleepy, calmer, but listening carefully & closely daughter,

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. 🌺

Th.9.29.2022 1.02am est. Diary. 1.28am

👩🤓☔🌀💡⚓🙏🙇‍♀️🌂🔗⛓🧰⚙🛠⚒⚔⚖ 🗽 🐯🐾🐐🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🧶🧵 ⌚💫⚡🌠🔱⚜🗝💝♠️🧩♾🌎🎯🧭🕯 🍁🧣😴💤

"Writing" gifs.🤷‍♀️

[sorikkung]

you ever have like three major inconveniences all in a row and then have google maps draw a dick on your way home alone at night just to spite you because it knows you're lost anyways and

[jeongwife]

Since Chan’s bd is coming soon… can u elaborate on bd sex with him? :D

i’m so sorry this is so late anon 💔 i’m well aware it’s past chan’s birthday but i had a pretty rough week so i wasn’t able to write much ;-; that being said i do have lots of thoughts about birthday sex with chan (ofc i do ugh lee chan 🙄) so without further ado…

secretly wearing new lingerie under his hoodie with your tiniest pyjama shorts while you cuddle and watch a movie together as a relaxing way to end the night. he’s none the wiser until he tugs you onto his lap to make out with you, the kiss becoming increasingly heated by the minute as your hands roam each other’s bodies. his tongue messily licks at your lips and pushes into your mouth, drawing a whimper from you as you tug on his hair a little harder, bringing him closer to you.

eventually, his hands slip under your (his) hoodie so he can help you take it off, eyes widening when he lays his eyes on the bra you’re wearing, one he���s never seen before and perhaps even more revealing than the ones you’ve worn before. chan gets over his shock quickly, gaze turning hungry from how the lace perfectly hugs your breasts.

“do you like it?” you ask coyly, already knowing what his answer will be, “bought it just for tonight, for you.”

a smug smirk tugs at his lips as his hands cup your breasts, running his thumbs over your nipples through the flimsy lace to feel them harden under his touches. “yeah? got all prettied up just for me, baby?” he hums, bucking his hips into you to press his cock against your clothed core and chuckling darkly when a moan rasps from your throat.

he flips you over onto your back, hovering over you as he kisses, sucks and nips all over your neck to mark you. you shiver from anticipation when his hand trails down your body to your pussy and presses down on your clit, grinning against your skin when he feels the growing wet patch on the thin lace.

his lips tickle the shell of your ear as he whispers, “you look so pretty, angel. like a present all for me to unwrap, hm? i almost don’t want to rip these off you.” almost, because as he roughly tugs down your shorts and panties in one swift movement, you hear the familiar sound of lace tearing.

“chan!” you squeal as he unceremoniously tosses your ruined panties aside, “those were new too!”

“i’ll buy you more,” he promises, kissing your bare hip as he shuffles down your body before holding your thighs apart with his strong hands, “but i need to taste you right now.”

your response dies on the tip of your tongue when he licks a stripe up your dripping pussy, his slick muscle catching your arousal before his lips wrap around your pulsing clit and delivers a harsh suck. instantly, your back arches off the mattress as you tug even harder on his hair. “o-oh—f-fuck! m-more, please!” you beg, “feel-feels s-so good!”

chan hums into your core, the vibrations adding to your pleasure. “i know, baby. you taste so good too,” he murmurs sweetly, placing a kiss on your bundle of nerves, “you’re the best present i could’ve asked for. so good for me like this.”

he eats you out until you’re seeing stars, watching you with darkened eyes as you claw at the sheets. even though it’s his birthday, he still wants to bring you the most pleasure possible, continuing to suck and lick at your pussy until you’re cumming all over his tongue with a loud sob, moaning into your core as your release coats his lips and tongue.

you’ve hardly come down from your first orgasm when chan pushes two fingers into you and starts pumping, feeling your walls contract around them as you try to squirm away from the oversensitivity. he pins your hips down in a strong hold, hungry eyes watching your ruined pussy suck in his fingers and soak them with your cum from the previous orgasm. “c-chan, t-too much,” you whimper, but he knows you want to keep going because you’re wriggling your hips to fuck yourself onto his fingers.

“c’mon, give me another one, pretty baby,” he coos, ramming his fingers into you a little harder to reach deeper inside you, grinning at the sobs that escape you as he fucks you with the slender digits. “don’t you want to be good for me? i thought you wanted to be my pretty little present, all for me to play with, hm?” his words have you trembling with pleasure, cumming on his fingers without warning as your release starts to drip down onto his hand and the sheets.

you’re still recovering from the intense orgasm when chan crawls back up the bed, guiding the leaking head of his cock to your entrance as he buries his head into your chest, sucking hickies on your soft skin while pushing your breasts out of the cups of your bra. “mine,” he growls possessively against your skin, your lips parting in a silent moan when you feel him slowly press his thick cock into you, “all mine, aren’t you, baby?”

“yes!” you gasp out, arching your chest as he continues marking you while bottoming out inside your warm, tight walls, “all yours, chan! w-want you so bad.” you hear him laugh quietly before drawing his hips back only to slam his cock into you seconds later, the fat head pushing against your sweet spot as you claw down his back from the fullness in your pussy.

he grips your hips tightly, his thrusts sharp and animalistic as he pounds you into the mattress, ensuring you take every inch of his cock while his eyes greedily drink up the way your breasts jiggle with every surge of his hips.

“gon-gonna cum again,” you whine, walls squeezing around him as you attempt to fuck yourself back onto his cock, “can i c-cum, please?”

chan delights in your begging, leaning down to kiss you deeply while one of his hands starts rubbing your swollen clit harshly to bring you to your third orgasm. “so good for me, pretty baby, and so polite too,” he praises, “you can cum. cream my cock like the good little slut you are.”

with his permission, you cum all over his throbbing girth as he continues thrusting into you to help ride out your orgasm. his cock only hardens even more at the sight of the slick, creamy rings of your cum that gather at the base.

“don’t think i’m done with you yet,” chan tells you, adjusting the angle so his cock pushes directly into that spongy spot deep inside you, “you’re going to keep cumming for me until i say it’s time to stop, that’s my present.”

— admin lily 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

[with-love-from-hell]

Vermillion Skies

{Part one}

Lucifer must act quickly after Mc is assaulted by a demon. He must find the delicate balance of serving justice and being there for his beloved human in the aftermath of the assault.

Fandom: Obey me!

Genre: comfort, angst, some fluff

Pairing: Mc x Lucifer (pre-established relationship)

Written for F!Mc

WC: ~5k

Music Accompaniment

TRIGGER WARNING FOR ALL PARTS: graphic depictions of sexual assault / rape, gore, and violence.

Cw: rape/sexual violence, gore and blood, genital mutilation, PTSD, anxiety, vomit, scenting/marking, revenge, breaking & entering, hateful/sexist language, mention of genitalia, virginity mention, violent death, swearing, spoilers for lessen 16+

>> Though I have a Masters Degree in Psychology, I am not your therapist. If you have experienced any form of sexual abuse, assault, or harassment and are in need of help, please utilize the RAINN sexual assault hotline or online chat service, or find additional help using the NSVRC website. <<

This turned out suuuper long so I hope it was worth it! If there's desire I may write some similar things with the other brothers and/or side characters- but I love me some Lucifer comfort, so I'll stick with this for now. I'm definitely someone who enjoys reading revenge stories in instances of sexual violence and I feel as if Lucifer was a good fit for such a story. It brings me peace knowing abusers got their just deserts. I finished part two as well so I will be posting them both at the same time. I will continue working on part 3 (and onwards if it is gonna be really long, which is likely) after I finish the Body Image series. Read under the cut

You had been alone in the House of Lamentation for a better part of the day while the brothers attended a student council gathering. There was an upcoming RAD festival that required hours of decision making and planning from the brothers. Usually you would go with in such cases, but Lucifer ensured you that it would be mindless debate over small details. He would much prefer you attend the meetings when your input would be more valued among the other council members.

You spent most of your time tidying the house to surprise Lucifer, and jamming out to music. A text message from Mammon in the group chat let you know that the brothers would be back later than expected, though they only had a couple more things left to discuss:

Mammon: "Aye, Mc! Sorry it's takin' so long. Asmo keeps goin' on and on about the colors of decorations and Levi won't shut up about the games."

Levi: "OH you're one to talk Mammon. You keep trying to convince Lucifer to allow gambling tables. 😡"

Asmo: “Mammon, you’re also wasting time babbling about who gets to spend time with Mc at the festival first- which we all know wouldn't be you. 🤡"

Levi: "ROFLMAO Mammon really is a clown isn't he. 😂🤡"

Mammon: “Oi! We all know Mc would leap at the chance to go to the festival with the Great Mammon! 🤘”

Belphie: "But you're still a clown."

Satan: "If you four don't leave the chat alone we'll never be able to leave. 🙄"

Lucifer: "My apologies, Mc. We should be home within the next few hours. Would you mind preparing dinner? I know it was my turn tonight, but I promise to make it up to you."

Mc: "Can do! I’ll make something extra special for all you since you’re wasting so much precious energy arguing!” 

Beel: "I can't wait. 🤤🤤"

Lucifer: "Your attempts at humor amuse only yourself, Mc."

Mc: "😘"

You giggled and shoved your phone in your back pocket. What am I going to do with them, you thought, a smile fixated on your face. You trotted mindlessly down to the kitchen to plan tonight's meal. You passed quickly by the entry way. But stopped in your tracks when something seemed...off..

Circling back to the main foyer, you noticed the front entry was slightly ajar. You stopped and stared at the open door. The brothers were usually so careful to ensure the doors were all shut and locked before leaving for the day. You approached to investigate and noted that the lock appeared to had been magically burned through- the deadbolt seared to a melted clump of brass. A few scratches lined the frame, and a bit of ash lined the floor at your feet in an ovular shape. A feeling of unease washed over you. Did someone break in? No. One of the boys must have forgotten to shut the door...and broke the lock... You tried to reassure yourself, but the anxiety mounted at the troubling state the door was in. You pulled your phone back out to text the group chat.

Mc: "hey...did you guys shut and lock the door when you left..?"

Mammon: "Uh...Ya...We double check every time we leave."

Mc: "Well, its wide open now..."

Lucifer: "This isn't a funny joke, Mc."

Mc: "I'm not joking, Luci..."

You send a picture of the melted lock in the group chat. Lucifer's reply makes your blood run cold.

Lucifer: "Go to your room immediately and lock the door. Keep your phone on. We're coming home now."

Lucifer's response made the unease transform into full panic. Does this mean someone is in the house? You frantically turned and jogged back up the stairs checking over your shoulder every few seconds to ensure you were safe. After returning to your room, you slammed the door and locked it. You clutched your phone to your chest, panting. Your heart was racing so fast, it felt as if it may explode out of your chest. Your breathing was so loud that you failed to hear the movement coming from your bathroom.

After catching your breath and calming yourself down a bit, you turned on your heal to go wait for the brothers by your window. Panic once again coursed through you as an vaguely familiar figure towered over you. Attempting to flee, you whipped around and fumbled with the lock. The demon scoffed and yanked your arm back, dislocating your shoulder in the process. You fell to the floor, yelping in pain, and your D.D.D went careening to the other side of the room.

"My, my. What do we have here?" The demon let out a menacing chuckle, causing a shiver to run up your spine. You hazily recognized him from your Devildom History class. You have noticed him staring at you in the past, and he was in some of the circles Belphie tends to run in, but you’ve never actually spoken to him.

Shaking the memories of the demon out of your head, you regained your composure. You scrambled off the floor and attempted to bolt toward your bathroom, but he was slightly faster. His tail wrapped around your ankle, tripping you and sending your body crashing to the ground. 

Your head slammed against the floor and your vision flickered white as he dragged you back to him. You groaned as the demon postured over you. He was on all fours, pinning your wrists to the ground with one hand. The pain of your dislocated shoulder was becoming dull given new pain that rippled through your skull. You felt droplets of blood begin drip down your forehead.

Once you were able to process the predicament you were now in, you tried to squirm out of the demon’s grasp. He let out another laugh, clearly amused by your attempts at escape. "Oh, my dear. You're not getting away that easily. I've been waiting for this moment since that tyrant welcomed you through our gates. And since that lackey of his let you stay...I figured there was no better time than this."

You gulped, the color draining from your face. Your mind raced with disturbing thoughts and images of what this beast planned on doing to you. 

He lifted his palm to your face and a long claw traced your throat. "At first I was just going to tear you apart and consume you- body and soul...But now I see why those idiot brothers are so infatuated with you." He leaned down and breathed in your scent, licking the lobe of your ear as he huffed. 

“Get the fuck off of me!” you screamed, trying your best to free yourself from his grip. 

He let out a sickening chuckle as he reeled his hand back. He swung his open palm hard at your face, the connection feeling as if you'd been hit by a freight train. The room spun wildly as you tried to refocus your vision. You attempted to call on Lucifer using your pact, but the mark only just flickered. You couldn't focus enough to summon him because of the pain.

The demon grinned widely at the newly formed hopelessness that painted your features and noticing your failed attempts at summoning your boyfriend to your side. He lowered his voice to a soft grumble. "I think I’ll claim you as my own first. I'm sure that will suck the pride right out of him."

Your swallowed the lump that had now formed in your throat. You weren't sure what he was getting at, but the mention of pride must have meant something to do with Lucifer. Your eyes widened in a newly formed fear when his clawed hand began to tear at your clothes and he unbuttoned his jeans. You now understood his intentions, and you screamed as loud as you physically could- hoping someone- anyone- would free you from the brute's grasp.

"Screaming will do you no good. No one is coming for you." He gave you a threatening smirk. He began leaving bite marks along your frame. He dragged his teeth down your body as he explored aimlessly with his tongue.

You begged and pleaded with the demon to free you, but to no avail. Your body tensed as he began slashing through your undergarments. Tears spilled from your eyes as you screamed. The demon nipped at the tears rolling down your cheeks, the pain from where his hand struck you was overwhelming. His cackling laughter made you feel nauseas and you begged silently for Lucifer and his brothers to hurry. You tried telling the demon you swore not to tell Lucifer if he freed you, but he just shook his head and glared in response.

"If I'm risking my life by going after the most protected whore in hell, I'm going to ensure it was worth it." He gripped his hand around your throat, and you felt something prod at your entrance. Before you could continue your protests, he thrusted inside you.

You screamed in agony at the excruciating pain that the foreign phallus inside you caused. Because your body received no preparation, warm pools of blood began exiting your vaginal entrance. Your vision continue to spin as the air flow was slowly cut off by the demons grasp against your throat. As he continued his abuse, you saw him place his hand down to your entry and lick the warm, ruby liquid off of his claws.

You weren't sure how long it took for the demon to complete his torture, but it seemed like an eternity. You knew he had ejaculated at least once, but despite the added lubrication, the pain persisted, becoming increasingly unbearable with each thrust. Your mind wandered to Lucifer, and a wave of shame washed over you. Every time you had gotten to the point of having sex with him, you panicked and asked him to stop. You saw the disappointment on his face, but he wouldn't ever do something like that against your will. But now, what was supposed to have been your first pleasurable and devoted experience with your gentle lover was now tainted by the revolting beast on top of you. Your body felt so unclean...so polluted...how could he love you now?

When you finally heard the sound of the brothers calling out to you, your heart lifted. You tried to scream, but only whimpers escaped your vocal cords. the demon clamped his hand over your mouth. You yelped at the sudden feeling of him exiting your sex and he gave you a foul, toothy grin.

"I guess I ran out of time." He whispered in your ear. His hot, musty breath against the side of your face made you gag. "I guess I won't get to taste much more of you today.” He sprouted wings from his back and moved to your window frame, winking to you as he leapt.

Your vision began to fade, and a sharp ringing began reverberating through your skull. The sound of pounding on your bedroom door made you turn your attention from the window. You slowly rolled yourself over and tried to push off the floor, desperate to open the door, but you had forgotten that your arm had been dislocated. The pain caused you to scream out, and a wave of nausea washed over you. Vomit spattered over the floor in front of you and collapsed into a mixture of your own fluids.

The bedroom door burst open, and Lucifer stood before you. A look of utter terror was present on his features. You lifted your head only centimeters off the ground and tried to speak, looking into his panic-stricken eyes...but unconsciousness took over your body and your head fell back to the floor.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer saw your initial text appear in the group chat and immediately something felt off. Anxiety rose in his chest upon seeing your response indicating the door was now not only unlocked, but wide open. A picture confirming this made his heart jump to his throat. He knew that they needed to leave. Now.

"My apologies, Lord Diavolo- but we must take our leave immediately. We need to check on Mc." Lucifer was already walking toward the doors of the student council room before Diavolo could give him a reply. The rest of the brothers jumped to their feet and followed him out.

Because he was the strongest of the 7 by a long shot, his brothers had a slightly slower gate than him. He hated having to constrict his pace for them to keep up, but he needed to give direction when they arrive at the house. His heart nearly stops when he felt your pact mark on his chest flicker. You were trying to call for him, but something was interfering with your ability to complete it. He yelled at the others to pick up the pace as he increased his speed. He hoped you were able to follow his instruction and blockade yourself in your room. He was damn close praying that you were safe...that he wouldn't be too late.

Once he rounded the corner on the house, the front door was as you had said- wide open. He stopped at the door frame and turned to his brothers, who made their way through the gates shortly thereafter. He instructed Mammon to fly around the perimeter. Satan and Asmodeus were instructed to search the downstairs, Levi would check the tombs, Belphegor was assigned to follow him upstairs, and Beelzebub was instructed to scan the entry for evidence. He told them all to keep an eye out for intruders and you. With their instructions taken, Lucifer knew the most important thing now was to make sure you were alright.

He hurled himself up the stairs with Belphie taking the opposite end of the hall. He ran to your room, frantically calling your name. The sound of your distant whimpers had his eyes widening in fear. He knew was moving rather quickly, but time seemed to move in slow motion. When he arrived at your door he pounded harshly with no regard for the door's stability. He heard you yelp, followed immediately by violent retching. Fuck it all, He cursed under his breath. He stepped back and threw his entire weight into the door, crashing it open.

His eyes locked with yours. His whole body shook with a mixture of rage, disgust, sadness, and guilt. At his feet lay your nude form, wounded and bleeding profusely. Your eyes fluttered and your head fell to the floor as you lost consciousness. He immediately pulled out his phone as he kneeled next to your body. His thoughts raced so quickly that there wasn't a single one he could savor to provide some sort of stability.

Lucifer mindlessly dialed Simeon's number as he placed his finger to your bruised neck. He breathed a sigh of relief when he discovered your pulse. He cradled your face delicately in his hand, stroking the cuts on your cheek gently as he waited for an answer.

"Lucifer?" Simeon was surprised to see that he had called. "What-"

"Get over here." He choked out, only now realizing how close he was to tears.

"What? What’s going on?!" Simeon was alarmed at his tone.

"Mc…She's hurt." He muttered breathlessly. "Just get here. Now."

He hung up and tossed his phone to the side. He searched your face for signs of arousal and noticed your eyelids twitching. He made note of the fact that you likely had a concussion. As he waited for Simeon to come aid in healing you, he scanned your body and made note of every cut, bruise, break, and blemish that appeared on your skin. Both for a report to Simeon so he knew where to act first, and for the beatings he would deal to the demon who dared to mutilate you in this way.

As his thoughts lingered to the torturous fate that would befall the lowlife of a demon who had the balls to break in to the HOL and attack his beloved human, he picked up an unfamiliar scent. The adrenaline must have prevented him from noticing it before, but it was consuming his orifice now. His crimson eyes fell on the lower half of your body. A feeling of absolute horror drenched him upon the realization that the demon had scented you and your space so fiercely. It was only now that he had understood that the brute had penetrated your vulva, and tainted you with his seed. His gaze fixed on how the white emissions collected on the floor with the excessive blood that oozed out from between your legs. He balled his fists in rage and the corners of his vision began to shrink as a dark grey hue clouded his vision.

How dare this pile of filth violate her in such a way. His thoughts practically roared through his head. She didn't deserve this fate. If I had been a little faster, this wouldn't have happened...

"Lucifer?" A soft voice jolted him out of his wrath and he whipped his head around to meet Simeon's gaze. "What hap-" Simeon took two steps and his eyes fell on you. His eyes widened in shock and he tried (and failed) to contain his gags at the site of you- his precious lamb- brutalized and bloodied.

Lucifer stood and gripped Simeon by the shoulders. "Heal them." He whispered. Little emotion was detected in neither his eyes nor his voice. "You can use my room. Take whatever you need. I'll gather the others."

Simeon nodded nervously and turned his attention toward you. He sucked in a breath and knelt before you, checking your injuries and responses to touch.

Lucifer walked across the hall to his room and opened the door, temporarily dropping the wards he had placed around it to keep his brothers out. As he passed by your room once more, he glanced at your face. Simeon had just covered you with his shall and was gathering you in his arms in an attempt to move you. His mind flashed back to the night Belphegor killed you and how similarly your head slumped over his arm as he cradled your lifeless form. He shook the thought from his head and tightened his fists. No. Not again.

He gathered the others and informed them of Simeon's arrival and assistance in healing you. Each brother took to a task that would aid in your recovery- Satan was tasked with assisting Simeon and ensuring none of the other brothers would disturb him while he treated you; Asmo was assigned to put together a care kit for you with items that would be more fitting for delicate wounds, as well as contacting Solomon for some pain-relieving potions; Beel and Levi were instructed to repair the entry way; and Mammon and Belphie were tasked with cleaning your room, as well as removing the scent of the demon who had hurt you. After the tasks were complete and you were stabilized, they would all put together a list of things you would need in your recovery, with Simeon’s assistance.

As for Lucifer...well...he had other matters to attend to before he was able to focus his attention on you.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer stalked silently through shadows of of west Devildom. The scent of your attacker still fresh in his mind- a scent he wouldn't likely forget for millennia to come. He had traced him to the seediest area in all of Devildom, which came as no surprise. The few demons that lingered in the streets scattered when they felt Lucifer's vengeful aura. The last time he felt wrath like this was when Satan had been formed. The only difference was that now, he had an easy target for his rage. He had to focus the energy on finding your assailant. That was the only thing that would bring him any relief.

Suddenly, he felt the scent grew stronger. It pulled him toward a dark Alleyway between a dive bar and an abandoned housing complex. Lucifer quietly peered into the darkness, doing his best to mask the rage that brewed within him so he would go undetected. He witnessed the outline of a lower demon eating the mutilated remains of a succubus. The scent he followed was from the living beast- that much was obvious. And he thanked Diavolo that he was quick enough to save this from being your fate.

The demon stilled, sensing he was being watched. Lucifer knew he needed to act quickly before the demon could try to escape. He moved effortlessly through the darkness and within seconds, he was behind the scum with his hands crossed over his chest.

"It seems you've been quite busy today." Lucifer snarled through gritted teeth.

The lower demon whipped around, tumbling backwards over the body he had been munching on. His eyes widened with shock. “L-Lucifer.” He stuttered before sprouting his wings and attempting to flee. Lucifer grasped his tail and dragged him back down to his eye level, earning a whimper from the demon.

“Its not what it seems, i swear!! I-I only fucked her because she begged me to!” the demon spat, his lies displayed obviously on his face. “It’s not my fault she's a fucking whore!”

Lucifer scrunched his face in a mixture of disgust and fury. The audacity that this repulsive vermine had in using such a word to describe you only fed his rage.

The demon opened his mouth to speak again but before he could, Lucifer extended his claws and plunged them into the demons throat. He gagged and sputtered as he stared desperately into Lucifer's contempt-filled eyes. In moments, Lucifer wrenched the Demons tongue out of his throat and cast it to the ground beside him. The demon screamed in pain as blood spurted from his esophagus.

Lucifer grinned at the site of the pathetic demon before him. He was just getting started.

A crowd formed near the end of the alleyway to watch the impending torture, but Lucifer couldn’t care less. If anything, he welcomed the audience to remind them that he is not to be crossed. His silent intention was inflicting a pain 100 times worse back onto the demon who had harmed you in such a monstrous way, and boy was he following through on that promise.

Lucifer released his grip on the demon's tail, who again tried to flee, but was quickly captured again in Lucifer's grasp- this time by his right wing. Lucifer unhinged his jaw and sunk his teeth into the demon's shoulder blade- where the base of the wing met the demon's body. The demon screeched, blood spraying the wall before him. Lucifer ripped a chunk of flesh from the demon and spat it to the ground. He then pressed his claws slowly into the demons back and grasped the ligaments attaching the bone of his wing the Teras muscle, and yanked. Lucifer relished in the demon's cries in pain- knowing it truly was the sound of justice being served.

Lucifer threw the demon into the brick wall of the adjacent building. He groaned at the impact but instantly regained his composure given the circumstances. One glance at Lucifer's face drained all the remaining color from his own and he attempted to scamper away on all fours. Lucifer smirked as he stomped on the demon’s ankle as he passed by, earning the sound of bone crushing beneath his heal. Another agonizing wail echoed through the alley as lucifer twisted his heel on the demon’s leg. He had the demon pinned. As much as he tried, the demon could not free himself. He turned to meet Lucifer's eyes, gurgling at him. Blood splattered all over the ground as he attempted to beg for his life.

"You dare beg me for mercy?" Lucifer glared at the demon, his voice a low, guttural growl. "After what you've done to her?"

The demon clasped his palms together and continued his attempted pleas, as if to try to appeal Lucifer's more merciful tendencies that were sometimes apparent when you- his lover- was at his side.

Lucifer felt wrath begin to bubble in his stomach once more as visions of your body- bloody, abused, and discarded- flooded into his mind. He clenched his fists so tightly that it drew blood from his palms. He dropped to his knees, pinning the demon's lower half beneath him. His anger only grew as the demon attempted to wriggle out from underneath him. He imagined you doing the same, begging for the demon to let you go.

"Please...have mercy..." Lucifer could hear your pained voice echoing through his head. It was followed by the sickening audio of your whimpers and screams at the abuse inflicted upon you.

Lucifer wound back his arm and punched the demon in the stomach as hard as he physically could. The demon spewed up the remains of the succubus on impact, sobbing at the anguish felt by the brutal mauling Lucifer was inflicting upon him. He reeled back his fist once more, and landed another punch- this time on the demon's sternum. He felt the demon's breath hitch as he struggled to regain his lung capacity. He landed blow after blow to the demon’s chest and stomach.

Lucifer paused his assault, breathing heavily, his heart ached with fury and sorrow for your pleas of mercy that were ignored. He grabbed the demon by the collar of his shirt and brought him up to meet his glare, Lucifer’s nose only an inch away from the demon's face.

"Did you grant her mercy when you threw her to the floor?" Lucifer hissed, slamming the demon's body back into the ground.

The demon gave a low groan, his eyes slightly dazed at the impact of his head meeting the ground.

Lucifer gripped the demons left arm. "Did you grant her mercy when you broke her arm?" With a flick of his hand, the demon's radial and ulna bones protrude through his skin.

The demon screeched, his body shrieking in agony at the perforation in his skin. He was now snapped out of his daze.

"Did you give her mercy when you sunk your teeth into her flesh?" Lucifer's voice became a feral growl as he landed a punch right in the side of the demon's face, causing teeth to careen from his mouth onto the dirty pavement.

The demon coughed blood, sobs escaping between breaths.

Lucifer placed a talon to the demon's throat, leaning in close. "Did you grant her mercy when you choked the air from her lungs?" He pressed on the demon's throat, blood beginning to draw from the open wound he was creating. The demon gurgled and gripped Lucifer's arm with his unmaimed hand, attempting to pull it further into his throat. It was as if he was imploring Lucifer to just kill him.

For a moment, he considered it.

But then, Lucifer felt an unspeakable rage flare within his soul. He remembered seeing his beloved’s abused vulva coated in this excrement's seed. He remembered her rasped breathing as she looked at him with eyes full of shame. He remembered the way her head lolled as Simeon lifted her- her beautiful energetic body now maimed and nearly lifeless. He knows the trauma will haunt her for the rest of her life.

And the fact that this scum thinks he deserves a quick death? It made his blood boil.

Lucifer retracted his claws and leaned back. He lifted himself up from the demon, who looked at him in shock. For a second, he thought that Lucifer's punishment had concluded and that he would continue on his way. That is, until a torturous pain sored through the demon's entire lower half, moving its way through his spine and sending blinding shockwaves of agony through his entire body.

Lucifer's foot rested on the demon's crotch from where he had just stomped down. Blood pooled underneath the heel of his loafer, clearly from the eruption of the demon's testicles. The demon burst into the loudest and most agonizing wail yet after his brain processed the source of the pain. He clawed at Lucifer's leg, trying as hard as he could to get him to release the hold he had on his genitals.

Lucifer bent over, his voice now a terrifying roar. "And do you think there was any mercy given when you stole her innocence? When you forcibly probed her insides? When you continued fulfilling your revolting desires despite her screams for you to stop? When you coated her with your seed in an attempt to mark her as your property? Was there even a speck of mercy then?"

The other demons that stood in the alleyway watched in wide-eyed horror, making a mental note to never give Lucifer's lover even a passing glance for fear they would suffer a fate even a fourth that of their comrade- especially after realizing what that demon had done to her.

Lucifer finally lifted his foot and stepped back, watching the demon writhe on the ground, clutching his now shattered genitals. His screams echoed across the alley, and could probably be heard throughout all of Devildom.

Lucifer drew his claws once more and gripped the demon by the neck. His talons were like needles piercing the demon's flesh, but he knew the scum would shortly begin to go into shock- negating any of the pain he would continue to inflict upon him. With his wings spread wide, he took to the air, keeping the demon in his firm clutch.

Once high enough, Lucifer took one last look at the demon before him. He wished he could hurt him more- make him feel the ache that burned so deeply in his chest when he thought of your brutalized body- but he knew that any further torture would not be felt by the demon. Lucifer gave him an icy smile as he uttered his final words.

"I truly hope whatever the next life brings you is even more painful than anything I could have ever done. You truly are the most vile creature that has ever crossed my path." And with that, he released his grip.

The demon fell through the air as Lucifer stared. The demon thought for sure he would and break every bone left unbroken in his body upon striking the ground, but held out some hope that he would just die upon impact and not have to life the remainder of his life in agony. To his unfortunate surprise, his chest was pierced on the spire atop the building Lucifer had been hovering over. He screeched at the gaping wound left by the spire. He tried to pull himself off of it, only resulting in his body being propelled further toward the thick base of the spike. He gasped for air as the pain continued for what seemed like an eternity. The last thing the demon saw before death consumed him was Lucifer's glowing vermillion eyes. He found himself filled with regret as he passed his final breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part two

[simp4ace]

❤Loving Portgas D. Ace❤ Day extra ~

a/n: okok so I was just in the mood for some angst ... and this idea came up when I was writing @smoleevee's request and I did use that prompt "If you don't stop crying I won't be able to kiss you" here as well, therefore, it might be a bit alike to this fic here. But with angst and a different plot. Yeah...I didn't know how I ended up turning a comforting prompt into an angst piece either :/ maybe it's just my brilliant healthy mind I'm sorry🙄 However, this one is mostly to please myself, like I'm writing for my own request, you see, so I will make it day extra for my event! 🥰🥰🥰

Day 5.5: "It's not a goodbye..."

warning: mention of character's death (both Thatch and Ace), arguing, sad end🥺

wc: 2k2

If someone asked what you like most about Ace, the first answer that comes to you would be his steadfastness and determination. People say he is just being a stubborn bastard, but you don't think so.

The way Ace never ran away from his enemies, the way he always smiled so confidently during a battle, and the way he would never forgive anyone whoever dared to lay a hand on his friend, all of that had captured your heart, perfectly and thoroughly.

However, right now, you just don't know what to feel anymore.

Right now, Ace is being everything you loved about him: determined, staying true to his belief, and staying up for his friend and all, yet your heart doesn't fluster at it as it used to be...

There is nothing but sadness and worry that reign in your heart, and your soul hurts every time Ace repeats to a crewmate that he wouldn't change his mind, that he would hunt Blackbeard down no matter what. Even if it means going to the end of the world, Ace will not be back until he makes that rat pays for what he had done.

"...that would still be too dangerous ..."

You know Ace is strong... you have observed his fight many times, and you know Ace is responsible; he is just doing his duty as a commander, doing his duty to protect the decree and the reputation of Whitebeard pirate. But then ...

Ace looks up from his luggage - nothing much really, just two shorts, maps, some snacks, and a log pose.

"What?" He barks, still angry for what had happened, but his eyes soften at your presence. You are standing awkwardly at his front door, debating whether or not you should convince him of this. Even Oldman, the one whom Ace obeys the most, can't stop him from chasing after Blackbeard, then can you? You are just one of his friends, after all ...

"Looking for Blackbeard, I mean." Shooting a quick glance at the baggage beside Ace, you finally decide to give it a try.

Ace is going to leave tonight. This is probably your last chance.

"Nah ah, it's no biggie," Ace says, more gently this time. He turns back to his bag and stuffs more snacks in it, "Blackbeard is a coward, he stands no chance against me. That guy's just good at lurking around and stabbing people's back; he is nothing in a real battle."

"But Ace," You hesitate, "He has Thatch's devil fruit. You still haven't known his new power ye-"

As soon as Thatch's name comes out, you know you have made a mistake. Ace's back stiffens at the mere mention of his comrade, well, his old comrade. Slowly, he twists his head in your direction; there are fires in his eyes as the freckled raise his voice to a dangerous timbre.

"So what if he does? You know that is exactly the reason why I have to go for him, right?"

For some reason, his tone pisses you off. Putting aside the initial anxiety, you stride over to Ace with the same fire in your eyes just like his.

"Well, no, if you ask me, Ace, then no, I see no reason why you have to go? Even Pops tell you to stay, and what kind of pirate would you be not listening to your cap-"

"Well, no, if you ask me, y/n, then what kind of pirate and a person would I be if I didn't go after the guys who tarnished my Captain's name and killed my comrade? My friend? He killed my friend, and what do you expect me to do? Behave???" Ace cuts you off, arms crossing over his chest, his mouth tightened into a thin line as if he's already made up his mind and no one ever, even you, can move him. You don't doubt it, and it's because of that you are so desperate, so angry.

"You are being too reckless!" You say, ignoring his eye roll, "At least please calm down and think through all of this before jumping to the decision?"

"It is the only decision for me! You sound just like them; I thought you must understand me better than this, y/n? I thought we were friends? Best friend?"

Would it change anything if Ace knew that you don't just think of him as your average best friend? Swallowing the bitterness in your mouth, you try to ignore the urge to burst into tears. Your eyes are already a little stinging, damn it.

"It's because I understand you, Ace! That I know you are being too impulsive! You never think twice, always throwing yourself into danger!"

"What?" He scoffs, " What danger? You talk as if I could die at his hands too!"

"Well, you might! Who can tell? You always like that; never think about others' feelings!"

"Others' feelings? Then what about my feeling? Do you ever think about my feeling?" Ace flies to his feet, almost screaming, "What did you know? When I saw Thatch lying there, in a puddle of blood, stiff and cold, and ... and never, ever will he be able to smile at me, cook for me and talk to me again ... do you have any idea how I felt then?"

"And what did you know?" Anger makes you unable to think straight, and you shriek, raising your voice to match him as your feet take you in front of Ace, your finger poking his chest angrily, "What did you know, Portgas D. Ace? Do you ever think how I would feel if you were the one who lies there and not Thatch?"

Ace lets out a dry laugh.

"And what are you afraid of, y/n? Am I that weak to you? You never have faith in me. Even though we are best friends, you -"

"I never think of you as a best friend, fuck it!" You howl, not being able to hold your tears back anymore, can't with all the fear, anger, and despair mixing and swirling together in your heart like a jumble, "What am I afraid of? Well, I'm afraid, no, I'm terrified of the thought of losing you, Ace! What's wrong with being scared that something dangerous might happen to the one I love the most, somewhere out there where I can't even reach out? Say, Ace, do YOU have any idea I will feel then?!!"

And all of a sudden, you break down crying, a flood of tears gushing down your ashen cheeks as Ace stands there, watching you with eyes wide, still dumbfounded and bewildered with what you just split out.

The fire guy can feel his heart beating against his bare chest, but not in anger this time; it is as if all the irritation has been washed away in a blink of an eye. A warm feeling sweeps through his body, yet seeing you cry so pitifully hurts him and freaks him out at the same time. He was never good at dealing with others' tears ever since he was a kid; it was his weak point.

"Y/n," Clumsily, Ace grabs your shoulder to pull you in a warm, gentle hug; his voice is soft like feather as he whispers to your eyes, "Shh, shh, y/n, please don't cry, please, I'm so sorry for raising my voice with you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ..."

You cry even louder as to answer him; your arms unconsciously wrap themselves around his waist as you nuzzle yourself into his warmth. You two have hugged each other too many times before, but somehow, his embrace feels different this time...

"You know I care about you, right?" Ace rubs your back in small circles, "It hurts me seeing you cry, please, I-I love you too, y/n, please, don't cry for me. I'm sorry."

"I-" You are sobbing noisily when his words catch your attention all of a sudden. Huh?

Wait...what?

Did Ace ... say ... he loved you too just now? Too surprised, you can't even bring yourself to keep crying, though the tears are still welling up in the corner of your eyes. Your brain tries to process what he just said.

"I'd love to prove you," Ace says half-jokingly, smiling at your red nose and tear-stained eyes. You are so cute; the freckled wonders why he hadn't confessed earlier. His hand grazes your cheeks lovingly, sweeping away the tears, "But if you don't stop crying, I won't be able to kiss you, you know."

"You...you lie. I don't believe you." You say weakly, sounding a bit doubtful.

"Wha-? You jerk!" You squeeze him, only making him crackle into laughter. All the tension before between you two has vanished into thin air, it seems.

"Nooooo, I'm being serious, y/n!" Ace smiles not-so-seriously, his hand moving up to cup your face gently as he leans down to rest his forehead on yours. Being Ace's best friend for the longest time, this is the first time you have ever been this close to him, close enough for you to count every freckle scattered over his cheekbones, enough to feel his loving eyes locking with yours, and feel his warm breath so hot on your skin.

You can't help but shiver a bit at the sensation.

"Hey, can I kiss you, please?"

You nod shyly at Ace's sudden question, face burning as you sniffle a bit to make sure your nose isn't running. Your reaction causes the freckled to smile even more; he titles his head, slowly closing the gap between you two with a soft kiss.

It was a sweet one, a little shy and reserved, and Ace almost pulls away right after his lips touch yours. His ears are now all red.

"I can't believe I didn't confess to you earlier," He mumbles, "We could have done this earlier, not until I'm about to go like this."

"You still determine to go?" Your smile fades, "Even now that you know about my feeling?"

Ace looks at you straight in the eyes; there's love and warmth for you, but you can also spot out the darkness that lingered there, the pure hatred and madness for Blackbeard. And therein his irises also hold the firm consistency to his decision, the same unwavering determination that makes you fall in love with him from the very first place. You've never thought the thing you love about Ace will also be the thing that pulls him away from you.

"I will come back to you, y/n," says Ace, surely and firmly as if he means it with all his heart. And he does! But you just can't shake the uneasy feeling off of your heart; something, maybe your sixth senses, is telling you that he will run into danger, that you might lose him forever if you let him go, right here, right now.

"How about ... how about I come with you?" You hold him desperately, not realizing you're shivering until Ace presses a warm kiss on your forehead, reassuring you with his tenderness.

"Hey hey," He says, "Don't worry. Have some faith in me, alright? It's my duty, and I have to do it alone. I can't drag you into my trouble. But," He pauses a bit to give you a mischievous grin, "Maybe I can take something else from you with me, baby."

You can feel your cheeks heat up again; Ace says "baby" so easily as if he has said that multiple times before.

"What thing?"

His mouth is impossibly soft, and his tongue tastes like wonder, swallowing all the unspoken words and worriment you hold. You feel lucky that the fire boy is holding you in his arms, or else you might collapse under his feverish kiss ...

"This!"

And before you could say more, Ace snatches your lips again, this time, with more fervor and passion, making you weak in the knees and your mind going all dizzy.

Ace only breaks the kiss for you to grab some fresh air. He is about to say something when both of you hear a soft knock on the door.

"Hey Ace, you there?"

It's Marco.

"I'm here. What's that?"

"The dinner is ready. Thought you might want to at least have dinner with us before you go."

You two look at each other for a moment before Ace replies to Marco.

"I know. I'm coming. One minute."

"Ace ..." You refuse to pull him away, not believing that parting time comes so quickly. Tears are already welling up in your eyes, and Ace is quick to kiss them away before they can stream down.

"Now, now, didn't I promise? I will come back to you, so please don't cry, ok? Hey, look what I got you."

He bends down and pulls out a white sheet of paper from his backpack, which at first glance doesn't look like much, but you instantly recognize what it is.

"Vivre card." You say, and Ace nods. He tears a small piece and gives it to you, smiling a little sheepishly.

"I was thinking of giving it to you before I go; anyway, here you go. With that, every time you worry about me, you can look at it and know that I'm still doing good"

Holding the vivre card close to your chest, you look up to Ace again, trying to pin down the uneasiness and apprehension in your heart.

If Ace has decided to go, then you want to say goodbye to him with a smile. No, not a goodbye.

...

"I'll wait for you to come back. I'll always wait. It's not a goodbye."

...

...

...

...

It's not a goodbye. That is what you tell yourself, what you want to believe in...

But that day, all of a sudden, you know. When you stand there, on that horrendous battlefield, with the burning card in your hand as you stare at Ace - the one whom you loved so dearly, the one whom you didn't even have the chance to call yours yet - he is kneeling in the cold ground, and burning just like the piece of paper you hold close to your chest, you know...

You know that in the end, you can't say goodbye to your loved one with a smile anymore... Not with all the tears that keep racing down your face nonstop...

And you keep crying.

And cry. And cry. And cry.

Until everything is on fire.

Until nothing left.

Until there's only sorrow and grief fill your soul like the dust from that burning paper...

tag list: @fire-fist-ann @rivvd-art @fireflykaizoku

day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

[glitchafton]

William: Do you have anything on the updates to Rabbit Snare.

Vanessa: Yeah it's been all of 12 hours, I'm one woman, I enjoy maintaining my social life with real and work friends, and have a full time job.

William: So you haven't started yet?

Vanessa: What happened to "take your time, I want it done well."? I'm not even getting paid with anything besides not getting killed, I could have taken a freelance gig, I have a friend who's trying to start developing a game and had to turn them down because of this.

William: Specifically this?

Vanessa: Yes. I said it would take a few weeks for a reason. Last night before Abby got home and we went out so I could introduce her to some of the guys from work I took a look at it, banged my head on the desk a few times and then told Desk Dragon to look at this shit before attempting to start notating what I'm starting with.

Vanessa: Even that is going to take at minimum a week. Minimum. And that's a very hopeful minimum. You might have noticed but something designed to hold digital soul fragments isn't particularly small.

Vanessa: And I had to write it in a rush without being able consider what the most efficient option was, just the one that worked.

Vanessa: And in case you forgot, I also had to create a whole new program for the worlds most specific purpose while having to track down and contain every single part of you, while you were actively fighting against me.

Vanessa: I don't know if you realize this, but normally even hacking competitions aren't these high octane speed events, much to 11 year old Vanessa's disappointment mind you, but you managed to turn programming into a speed event.

Vanessa: And on top of that, your fighting against it alone left it messier than it would have started if it was for something passive, and just glancing at the code now, if I'm not mistaken, which it's possible, this is the Tugley Wood of code, your attempts at solving the problem yourself could have completely broken it...

Vanessa: But I don't have plans tonight so this is what I'll be doing from when I get home to when I have to go back in.

Vanessa: Shit. Sorry for going on so long.

Vanessa: tl;dr: Rabbit Snare is a disaster and it's going to take time to go through it before feeling comfortable editing anything, much less working out how to add something major.

William: "the Tugley Wood of code"

Vanessa: Yeah. Disney version with the signs pointing in every direction. And if I spend too much time with it, I might just break down and start crying.

William: But it'll be a week before you can start substantial work.

Vanessa: Minimum. I explained potential time frame last night and you didn't seem to have an issue. Unless you do need it by a certain time.

William: I didn't expect some of that delay was so you could go partying.

Vanessa: I deserve a pass for that one, it was an opening for Tabby, in the art department, she does a lot of promo materials, so a bunch of us wanted to support her.

Vanessa: And I wanted people in the office to see my girlfriend in the flesh, some people needed to see she's real. Apparently I "don't seem like someone who'd date a going to be a psychiatrist" so the team wanted proof beyond photos for some reason 🙄

William: That's not much of a defense.

Vanessa: We on the drinking thing again. It was two glasses of wine. Which coincidentally is when they stopped being free.

William: No, today not the issue.

Vanessa: Is there a real time frame I should be aiming for then?

William: Nothing specific, only that I don't want to move forward with some things without the change.

Vanessa: So really it's asap, just don't fuck up?

William: Essentially, yes.

Vanessa: I'll go out less, but I'm not killing my social life completely, and the reason I emphasized it was a work event. I'm only useful to you when I work here so it's best for both of us that I'm friendly with my co-workers.

William: You obviously have enough spare time during work, you could be filling that time more productively.

Vanessa: Yeah, by eating my lunch, and finally finding the time to start watching My Girlfriend is Two Demons and Also an Office Lady and keeping the burnout at bay.

William: that's not a title.

Vanessa: Look at my screen. Look at the title. and it's actually pretty good.

Vanessa: But even though everything about Rabbit Snare is carried over with you, changes I make here stay when you show up at home, I don't even want to start adding notations while at work just in case it goes from something that no one can even see is on the machine, much less track our conversations if I alter the wrong thing.

Vanessa: If you want to go off an threaten me I guess go ahead, but it's not going to change that I'm right, and this is something I have visual evidence you can't do your self, and I couldn't make something this hard to decipher when I'm trying to fuck over the next guy.

William: Why has there been a five minute scene of one of the demon girlfriends failing to make tea?

Vanessa: My lunch break isn't long enough to explain anime tropes to you.

Vanessa: But, sir, I promise the changes to Rabbit Snare are going to happen and I'm sorry that it's something that there's no way around how long it might take.

William: You could have cleaned it up sooner.

Vanessa: It was working just fine, I didn't know that you'd want changes made. Plus, after the recent Malhare incident, I wouldn't go near anything that's become part of it/you without being explicitly told.

Vanessa: So some on, bring the threats, only thing you'll change is that I'll get sloppy, and who knows what could happen to you if it's buggy. Not whatever your plans are, not needing to keep under the radar, you.

William: Has anyone ever told you that you get too cocky for your own good sometimes?

Vanessa: Yeah, loads of time. Doesn't change that I'm right, sir 😉

[mrsseverussnape]

Congrats for the 200!! 🥳🥳🥳

If you feel like writing Reader x Snape with My Love Will Never Die by Claire Wyndham it would be greatly appreciated 💜

A/N:Thank youuu!🥰🥰😽 When i read the lyrics i had that angsty idea, i am a sucker for dramatic things already and this was such a perfect oppurtunity😏 I don’t know if you imagined angst while requesting it but it is what it is so hopefully you will like it! Also i didn’t do proofreading because i was already teared up writing it✌🏻🙄

Characters: Severus Snape x reader

Theme: ANGST

My Love Will Never Die

“Y/N… You have promised me, you wouldn’t cry. You know I have to do this…” Severus Snape mumbled, sadness in his voice was visible even he tried to hide it. He knew this day would come eventually and he thought he was ready for it. But then 3 years ago you have come into his life so suddenly and you have become the most important thing in his life. Severus was ready to face whatever would come to him tonight but he wasn’t ready to leave you. That was hurting him so bad, you could have an amazing life together if he didn’t have this duty.

“Apparently, I lied Severus…” a sad chuckle escaped from your trembling lips. You looked at your husband deeply in the eyes before hugging him tightly. You inhaled his woody cologne one more time and rested your head onto his chest to hear his heartbeats. You have a bad feeling since yesterday, you knew this war was on its way for years and Severus had an important role in it but the possibility of losing him was killing you softly.

“I don’t want to lose you… We still have enough time, we can run away Severus!” you were aware that you were being selfish but he was your husband and you wanted him to be safe and well.

Severus let out a long sigh, if he hasn’t come this far in this duty he would fly away with you without a second thought but now there was no return.

“Don’t make this harder for me than it already is, I beg you…” Severus kissed top of your head while rubbing your bag softly at the same time. Then he moved you away gently and looked at your pretty face for a long moment. This could be the last time he would see your face…

“Can you just kiss me already?” You gave him a tiny smile but your teary eyes were telling another story.

Your statement made Severus chuckle softly then he put his cold lips onto yours softly. The kiss started off slow but soon it grew into a passionate one, you and Severus were pouring all your emotions into the kiss. It felt like finding water in a hot desert. Your hands played with his black locks then moved to his soft cheeks; ah how you loved this man…

Severus pulled away slowly but kept his hands on your tear-stained cheeks. “This thing between us, it is the best thing I have ever felt in my life Y/N. Thank you for loving me when no one did… I love you so much, you are my everything. Never forget that…”

“I am the happiest when I am with you, you are the reason for my smile. I love you more than e-anything Severus Snape. Now go on, go bravely on into the blackest night my fearless love…” You gave his hand a strong squeeze before slowly let him go, you watched his black cloak flow away and eventually mixed with the darkness, left you all alone in the gardens of Hogwarts.

“Now it is just only us…” you whispered to yourself before going to take your place beside McGonagall.

Severus couldn’t dare to turn to look at you one more time, if he did he knew very well he wouldn’t be able to leave you. His heart ached with fear, not for himself tho; he feared for you. What if something happened to you, this was a war everything could possible. He knew you are such a strong woman but he couldn’t help but worry. Severus tried to get rid off all the emotions before he met the Dark Lord.

You were running around like crazy in the dark and shooting curses when a death eater interfered you.

The war was way more intense and bloodier more than you have anticipated but you were doing your best to protect the school and yourself. Then you had that feeling, that damn weird feeling and your blood ran cold. You immediately thought that something happened to Severus, you felt so scared and helpless. Everything around got blurry and you couldn’t hear anything but your own heartbeat. You had to find him and make sure that he was fine. Severus hasn’t told you where he was going to meet with Dark Lord exactly but he has given you a hint; Hogsmade. And there was only one place came to your mind that Dark Lord could use, it must be Shrieking Shack.

You were out of breath and had a cut on your arm when you reached the shack but you didn’t care any of these. You made your way inside of the shack as silently as possible and listened carefully when you entered. You couldn’t hear any talking, did they leave you thought. But when you were climbing the stairs you started to heard muffled moans, painful moans… You inhaled a shaky breath when your hands started to shake uncontrollably. It was selfish of you but you prayed that this moans belong to someone else but Severus. After a short pause you collected yourself and entered the room. Your heart dropped the moment you walked in; the blood was everywhere and there he was… Severus was laying in his own blood. He was paler than ever and hardly breathing. You ran to him while crying his name.

“My love, my love… I am here, look at me Severus.” You knelt down beside him and held him tightly to yourself. You tried to examine where he was bleeding but it was impossible to find.

Severus opened his eyes with difficulty but his eyes met with yours, he locked them there. Tears were running down on his cheeks when he winced with pain time to time.

“Stay with me Severus, I will save you. Please don’t leave me, don’t you dare…” you cried while caressing his cheek. Deep down you knew that you were late to save him but you had hope but you started to try some healing spells on him.

“Y/N… Stop.”He muttered. “It is too late by now… I am sorry…”

“No, no. You can’t die Sev, you can’t do this to me to us…” you held his hand and rested it on your belly softly. “I will not say goodbye, we will welcome our first child, together…”

His eyes grew in surprise and his weak grip on your belly tightened for a second. How he wished everything could be different; he was so happy and so sad at the same time. Having a family his own and live happily ever after was his absolute dream but ill fortune was written for him. He would never get to know his child, he would never grow old with you… Those realities caused him more pain than dying. It was a faith much worse than death.

“Forgive me, I let you down Y/N…” he has started to have difficulty to breath. “I love you… both of you…”

You kissed him softly one last time, you were trying to keep it together for him but you couldn’t stop your tears. This wasn’t supposed to end this way, this wasn’t in your plans.

“Oh I may weep forevermore but my love will never die for you Severus. And our little one will know about you and will be so proud of the daddy. I love you, I love you so much… We will meet again Sev…”

“I- lo-ve y…” his black eyes lost the last drop of life in them and he exhaled one single breath before he finished his sentence. You let out an animalistic scream, cried your heart out while hugging the still warm but stiff body of your beloved husband.

taglist:

@snapefiction @lizlil @elizabeth-baelish @misselsbells06 @mais-e

[hotarutranslations]

#HelloPro36thCollection!

Evening Its Ishida Ayumi

I just finished a live stream earlier,

Nanba Kazumi's 36th Idol Compliation ~We're doing it this year too somehow! Hello! Project Special~"

We had it at Shibuya Tower Records-san!

Thank you very much for listening to the live stream 🥺❤️

Maybe its because we were surrounded in black as the room was a bit dark, I used the wrong filter or something, and our eyes may look kind of red but 🙏

the 2 hour live stream,

we were pushing it for 40 minutes~~~

that is to say, that wasn't the case!! lol Excuse me!! lol

it was possible that, it didn't look like that...... 🤔 I'll delete it first, its something trivial but its probably my defense,

Its my first time participating in,

"Nanba Kazumi's 36th Idol Compilation ~We're doing it this year too somehow! Hello! Project Special~"

but,

I have the impression that every year, Fukumura-san says its fun,

I really wanted to participate in it too 🙄❤️

Therefore this time we got to do it together, I was super duper happy about it but,

It was more than I imagined,

the depth of the perspective as a fan, the way of looking at the music is also deep,

I was thinking, wait this time is so deep--! 🤣 lol

Fukumura-san also has that kind of perspective, I was also happy thinking 'as expected--'...

I like Fukumura-san's senses towards Hello!

I really understand why Fukumura-san, looks forward to it every year 🤭❤️

There are people who are watching Hello Pro in this way,

With that, talking about that with the fans a well, like, I get it~ and thinking, oh, I see~ You can see that, right,

It was for sure going to be fun......

When we had a meeting, I like glanced and heard, we'd gone over on time... I didn't actually see the clock on the day-of so,

It was actually fun,

I thought, Yay! Talking about things I like--!

I was talking a ton!

I'm sorry for having gone over 40 minutes 🤣❤️

8:00PM~ Everyone planned to watch it for 2 hours, Was it fun until the end, I'm really sorry it was late into the night 🤣❤️

I'd be happy if you had fun

For myself,

Talking with Paipai Dekami-san and talking with Fukumura-san too, and also talking with Minewaki-san and Nanba-san,

I really enjoyed that high level of enthusiasm from everyone 😆🎉

I also talked about various things...... 😇 lol

Talking about choreography,

Not just with writing sentences, I was happy to talk about it from my own mouth like that, I felt like I was a bit relieved, from my frustration in not being able to make it happen 🤭🌷

Thank you very much for listening

(I think I wrote about this on Tokyo Sports, it may be the first time I mention the song titles, and the first time I talked about Homa and Mei, I feel like I wrote about it but how is it,,,)

(Tokyo Sports Series is Here)

I talked a ton but,

conversely,

I wanted to talk about things even more 😳⚠️ lol

In that way with these talk events, I think its been a while for this kinda things

We talked a bit about Budokan, its just talking about Budokan, I can do it for forever!

But with writing it on the blog, its difficult to convey things because my explanations are long, since through talking about it I can remember things,

I like being able to have talks in this way 🌷

If there are those of you who are thinking,

I'm interested in that... 😳 now!

Since there is an archival stream, Please definitely check it out--!

"Nanba Kazumi's 36th Idol Compilation ~We're doing it this year too somehow! Hello! Project Special~"

With the target CD, with all Tower Records in the nation (until the 30th), when you purchase it at Tower Online (until the 22nd), you'll get a serial code to watch it, by all means do it from there 📢

To all of you who listened to it today,

Thank you very much!

To you as well who will watch it from now on!

thank you very much!

I'm sorry Maa was partially cut out but,

Shibuya Tower Record-san!!! The Entrance!! I'm happy---!!

After the stream ended,

Tonight #HelloProDanceAcademy, is also airing tonight 😖⚠️

Thank you very much for watching that!

Its ok for those that end up missing it, it'll be on rerun,

details are here

By all means!!

I'm sorry for the late night update 😳🙏

Good night~

see you ayumin <3

https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12716067727.html