#so there's a lot of messy potential with martin

[spaceratprodigy]

@darkfire1177 I decided I needed to make one important revision to my divorce chart

[lizard-queen-izzy]

OK! WE'RE DOING THIS!

Everyone shut up and sit down. I'm talking about TMA. I am listening through for the first time, I'm through S1 and halfway through S2, and I already have many Thoughts. Today, we will be focusing on my evil ship thoughts, because I missed my chance when this was coming out so now I will subject you all.

I know Jon and Martin get together at some point, and yknow, that's all fine and good.

BUT I WANNA TALK ABOUT JON AND TIM, OK?

There is so much potential for something there, and they would be so incredibly messy after the S1 finale.

[I've lightly scrolled through the jontim tag, and I truly don't think there's enough of you talking about how tragic they are. Platonic or romantic, they're so so sad.]

They both worked in the research department before Jon was made Head Archivist, and even though they definitely weren't close, they were definitely friendly. My Firm Belief is that Jon was the only one who took Tim seriously despite his more lax attitude, he saw his strong work ethic and his dedication and treated him accordingly. And Tim was the only one who listened to Jon, the only one who thought he had anything to add and took his suggestions.

I believe they were hired around the same time, and once they met there was a silent understanding that they were there for eachother. It was nice to just have someone in their corner in this new environment.

When Jon got promoted to Head Archivist, he was adamant about Tim being on his team, because he knew Tim would help get the results needed. [I have a whole, how everyone got assigned to the team timeline thought out but that's not why we're here]

Tim is the only member of his team who Jon doesn't think would have written Antonio Blake's statement as a joke to scare him. Which means he trusts him the most out of all of them. Which wouldn't be as important if he showed distaste for them equally, but he regards both Tim and Sasha highly, and only really seems to have an issue with Martin at this point. So why would he trust Tim to not have written it but not Sasha? Unless he's known him the longest and has reason to put that faith in him.

AND THEIR CONVERSATION AT THE BEGINNING OF MAG 33?? You're gonna listen to that, the first time we as the audience meet Tim, and tell me you don't hear how much these two care for eachother? Even when Jon starts getting upset/loud, he calms quickly for Tim, and doesn't let himself fully yell at him. He also leaves it up to Tim to fix the mistakes, an example of him trusting Tim's judgement and work. And Tim is so calm with him! The man keeps getting worked up and starting to get loud, but Tim stays calm and let's him self correct and say what he needs to before proceeding himself. He knows Jon is stressed and has a lot on his plate. He knows these mistakes needed to be discussed with him and corrected somehow, but he's still not going to force Jon to re-record the statements if he really doesn't want to, he's willing to find another solution. And then he leaves to go work on it so Jon can get back to recording the statement.

And Tim telling Jon he doesn't understand the filing system and Jon explaining it calmly to him, admitting he doesn't really get it either but that's how it is.

You also have to see my vision for how the S1 finale effects them. A traumatic experience where they were both scarred mentally and physically in the same ways. Something that should have brought them even closer, maybe finally made them feel comfortable being proper friends outside of work. But they both react to it SO differently. And that is the beginning of their downfall. That is the beginning of the end.

Because Jon spirals. He stops trusting everyone. He pushes them all away and starts crossing boundaries. HE SPIES ON TIMS HOUSE. And he can't even calm down long enough to see why this bothers his coworkers. Why this hurts Tim.

The beginning of S2 from Tim's perspective is awful. Your first friend in this workplace is overworking himself, throwing himself back into work the second he's cleared physically well enough to go back. But he clearly hasn't moved past it, and you can't blame him for that. Everyone copes differently, but then he turns on you. He stops trusting you, starts pushing you away, starts spying on you. Can you imagine how much that hurts? To have the first person in this terrifying new job who ever put their trust in you, who ever believed in you, to turn on you just when you need them the most.

THEY ARE SO FUCKING MESSY. GOD.

Anyway. I very well may be back with more JonTim thoughts as I continue to listen. But this is what I have for you today.

[dozyisdead]

first of all, i must say thank you for your discourse here about williams and alex and also logan, bcs i didn't see that a lot on other platforms.

i agree with most of your points, especially in how alex's career in williams after carlos join the team. i think it's gonna be a test too for alex, and to prove that he's indeed a good driver. okay, we know he has the potential, but we don't really know how far he can go. williams in 2023 is quite good, no? i mean, at least he finished in p7 which is good compared to this season.

i watched a youtube video, talking about what williams want to achieve, like james vowles's idealism (sorry), that's why he treats carlos like that (if you know what he has been said about carlos this summer break), but still, it's not nice to do that, when logan is still on the team. i think they also place money on adrian newey to come, but they aren't as rich as aston martin so that plan is off. sad to say but I'm kinda excited to see them in 2025, although im tired of their tractor 😭

thank you and sorry for yapping in your page 😭

Hi hello! I've been so invested in the other events that have happened and completely forgot about this.

Yes! I think this is going to be a great test of his skill next year, especially with the potential upgrades Williams might bring. We saw recently that Alex was disqualified because his floor was illegal, but he did incredible otherwise. As with Carlos, he's a great "midfield" driver to compare Alex to. We've seen him in comparison to Max, where Max was obviously the number one driver and Red Bull's priority, and he did not perform up the standards set for him.

We've also seen Alex in comparison to Logan, who was picked up from F2 a bit early (In the general public's opinion). In addition, at Williams Alex was clearly the number one driver, I mean they gave Alex Logan's car for Australia. Then, Logan was given Alex's REPAIRED car, and it took them basically a season and a half to have the same upgrades at the same time. In summary, we see a prioritized Alex and a pushed to the side Logan.

basically, two extremes in the field, and even when Latifi was at Williams that was also an extreme, on the same end as Logan (Though there are different circumstances as Latifi's was a skill issue and Logan's was a support issue), meaning the results have been skewed due to outliers. His actual stats are affected the most by his teammate, as with any driver, so we don't have a true rating of his skill level.

And I think that yes, the 2023 car was a good car, but I also think it's due to the fact that Alex has had longer at Williams and can get a general sense of how the car is, and therefore he was more prepared to race, while 2023 was Logan's first season and therefore a learning curve. Not to mention, there's already a learning curve when you're driving a bloody Williams.

I've stayed away from Williams for my own mental health (I get unreasonably angry when I see J*mes V*wles's face, he looks like a Who from Whoville) and therefore haven't seen what he's said. But I'm going to say this every time, the way they handled the news and even more present news was a mess. it was disgraceful, utterly idiotic, and disgusting. Posting an announcement about your incoming driver, and multiple at that, before thanking your outgoing driver? Messy with a Capital M.

Also, don't apologize for yapping! I'm here for it! Literally my favorite thing to do is to talk to y'all!

[cult-of-the-eye]

I really like the intimacy of other people's rooms and other people's houses in fics, but especially in jmart fics.

(I've just finished season 2 so bear with me if I get some stuff wrong)

To the listeners, they live pretty much their whole lives in the institute. What we see of Jon and Martin are the parts of them they present at work (but I guess as things get worse, this is sort of thrown out the window, cause why try to be professional when you realise your workplace is literally evil and trapping you here). My point is that there's a certain part of both Jon and Martin that they don't see of each other, even if they spend a lot of time together in the institute and when they do fall in love, they obviously want to see those parts. But we don't see them. We don't know what Jon's or Martin's homes are like. Their rooms? Their beds? Whether they cook? Do they have messy desks? It's irrelevant to the plot line but that's what makes it special to us, the fact that we don't know what goes on there means 1. there was a little bit of their lives untouched by the horrors of the institute and 2. we can explore it in our headcanons and fics. They have that little bit for themselves and i'd read a thousand iterations of Martin getting nervous about seeing Jon's bedroom or vice versa because the level of intimacy is immediately deepened by the fact that this is more than their home, it's their little bit of safety. It's their place to fall apart or stare at the ceiling for hours, it's their place to process or numb or be free from the fears and shit. I like to think opening the door to their flat or whatever is like someone slowly and painfully removing a bandage from a wound. You can see all the viscera underneath and the context of their lives and it's powerful but also has the potential to be deeply sad.

[senualothbrok]

Writer Interview Game

Thank you so much @astarioffsimpmain for the tag. 🥰🫂🫶 What a chance to yap about writing (beware everyone, here comes a long yap...)

***

When did you start writing?

As a child I always had my nose in a book and escaped to fictional realities. I must have started writing stories before I was 9, because when I was 9, we had a “what do you want to be when you grow up” event at school and I did a little presentation about wanting to be an author. I remember writing things when I was in my early teens, and toying with the idea of writing a novel (but not getting anywhere because I thought I was bad and lacked focus). I got massively into writing fanfic when I was around 16 (Inoue Takehiko’s “Slam Dunk” was my first love, but I also wrote stuff for Kaori Yuki’s “Angel Sanctuary” and Harry Potter). In my early twenties I also started writing poetry. Unfortunately I stopped writing for a few years in my twenties because life took over and I thought I was too bad at writing to bother. But around the pandemic I started writing short prose again, then eventually started a novel. But then I got into BG3 and Gale - and the rest is history.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

My fics are mainly angst and romance, and obviously BG3 is a fantasy/medieval setting which I love. The novel I was working on – which I am putting to one side to brainstorm a new one – was historical fiction and set in the Viking age. I have a literary fiction bent, and my real fascination is characters, how they grow, how they relate to one another. I enjoy both reading and writing about love, sex and relationships.

Reading wise, I love speculative fiction, and quite enjoy the New Weird genre. That’s kind of like my taste in movies – anything by Alex Garland, exploring philosophical themes around consciousness, human nature, knowledge/the unknowable. (The pinnacle of this would be “Ex Machina” or “Annihilation”. Not Alex Garland, but I also really love “Arrival”). I enjoyed exploring these kinds of themes in “The Difference”, while playing with the isekai and romance genre conventions.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I haven’t really been compared to any authors before. I really love Madeline Miller (who wrote “The Song of Achilles” and “Circe”), and if I ever got to the top of my game and finished/published a novel, I feel like I could potentially write like her. I would love to be able to write as beautifully and soulfully. Every word she writes is poetry and transcendent.

I would also like to capture the economy and impact of the traditional haiku masters like Kobayashi Issa. Each word hits like a punch to the gut. One of my favourite poems is his “dewdrop world” haiku – I want my prose to be as economical, emotional and life-changing as that.

In terms of provoking deep thought and WTF-ness, I’d love to be able to follow in the steps of Jeff Vandermeer (who wrote the Southern Reach trilogy – “Annihilation”, “Authority”, and “Acceptance”). He is so creative and visionary, and also writes extremely beautifully, in an other-worldly, ethereal way.

I would love to be able to create characters and worlds as complex and three dimensional as George R R Martin does (as with “A Song of Ice and Fire” and “Elden Ring”).

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I have a spare room which I sometimes go into to draw, play piano, and write. It’s kind of our “storage room” and is a little messy, but it’s spacious enough, and has a lot of light. There’s print of an Enso circle, and a big white board which I put pictures on and use to brainstorm. When I was writing “The Difference”, the board was peppered with fanart of Gale, quotes from Camus, BG3, and the chapters themselves.

While it sometimes helps to be shut away and on my own, more often I just write wherever I find myself – on my phone, or on my laptop. On the sofa, at the dining table, while commuting on the train, or in the office. When I’m walking my dogs. I just try and get the words down when the creativity strikes, and that can be pretty unpredictable.

I do think that I should try and build a more consistent writing routine, and I will probably use my “creative room” when I get back down to writing my novel in a more disciplined way. It would be cool to fully kit out my creative room with pictures, inspo etc, but we don’t have the space/resources at the moment.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I know it’s “unhinged Galemancer core” again, but Gale has truly been my muse. He has worked miracles for my creativity, in a way that I really didn’t expect. And he lives within me now, and never really goes away, such is my level of hyperfixation.

In terms of more generally kick-starting my creativity when it’s a bit dead, I find that consuming media helps – reading books/poetry, watching things, listening to music, looking at art. I have to let myself rest and consume, to fill myself up so that I can create again. I sometimes like to hear other creators talking about their process at these times.

I have a fair few writing barriers – chiefly, toxic comparison and fear of having lost my gift. So I usually have to try and push through those when struggling with creativity. I sometimes re-read my past work as part of this.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I truly believe that art has the ability to heal and transform. When I write, I put a piece of my soul into my creation, with the earnest hope that it will touch the soul of the reader on a deeper level. I want to make my readers feel seen and understood. I also want to make people truly feel something, and come to a realisation about themselves and/or existence. And if I can bring my readers hope, comfort and catharsis in the midst of hardship and struggle – well, that’s the pearl of great price.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think I have a lyrical and poetic style. I have been told in the past that my writing is also rhythmic and flows well.

I also think my writing makes people feel (*cough* cry and hurt *cough*). I do this by focusing on character and relationships, which is what I think I’m best at. (I am less confident about my world building and plotting).

How do you feel about your own writing?

Conflicted. Sometimes I feel like I have a unique voice and skill, that I have what it takes to finish my novel and get it traditionally published. At other times I compare myself to others and beat myself up, feeling like my writing lacks flair, is boring and repetitive. And sometimes I wonder if I really enjoy the process of writing or if it’s the outcome that I’m hooked to – finishing the story, and editing it, rather than actually writing it.

Quite often, I feel like I have to write or I’ll die – that there are these stories and thoughts inside of me that I need to get out. I think that’s writing reduced to its purest form, for me – a part of me that I can’t ignore, without neglecting/losing an essential part of my soul. I try to remember this purity, without letting it get lost in the quest for approval from others or worrying that what I’ve written isn’t “good enough”.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I have to write things that are meaningful to me. I don’t write things that I’m not interested in just because they are popular or requested. However, when I write things, I do thrive on feedback from others. There is a reason why I share the things I write, because I want my work to connect and resonate with other people. So in that way, I am influenced by what people enjoy.

When I get prompts/requests, I think about them, and try to make them my own – to use the scenarios in prompts/requests to tell a story about wider themes that I am interested in exploring. I’m terrible at writing fluff for the sake of fluff. I tend to want to make them about something broader/deeper.

The exception to this is smut. It’s pretty clear what smut is for, and writing for myself and for others is pretty well aligned there lol...

***

If you're one of my readers, I'd love to hear any of your thoughts on these questions / my writing in general! 🙏

I'm tagging (no pressure): @inglorionamy-ammy @practicallydeadinside-blog @thycatsays @sorceresssundries and anyone else who wants to do this!

[the-terrible-theys]

@rickymaximum

personally i am of the opinion that since 2d chris and martin are clearly fictional, separate versions from their real-life counterparts (though the animated kratt bros are indisputably tied to the real ones), shipping them with other characters in the show isn't weird AS LONG AS those other characters are in no way tied to real people themselves. shipping pairings between even fictional versions of two real people is where things can get a little weird/messy, since that has a potential to impact those real people and their relationships. if zach or whatever other character were the self-insert of a real person my opinions on shipping that character with one of the bros would be way different, but since only chris and martin are self-insert-type characters, i see no issues with shipping them with their friends or the villains

i kinda view shipping as just One Of Those Fandom Things that happens to fictional characters, on par with things like making headcanons or redesigns. like, if someone started making headcanons about a real person, or were to redesign that real person to have, say, piercings or different hair or an altered personality, it gets a little weird. if someone does those things with fictional characters, though, it's no big deal. same thing with shipping. the animated kratt brothers are, again, fictional, and i think it's okay to treat them as such as long as the real kratt brothers are being respected

of course, if the real brothers ever were to express discontent with any sort of shipping, that's another matter. while 2d chris and martin are fictional characters, them being tied to real people means that if those real people don't want something done to their character, shipping or headcanons or redesigns or whatever, those wishes should be respected. i wouldn't doubt that chris and martin are at least somewhat aware of people shipping characters (i mean even a lot of younger fans end up thinking of chris and aviva, for example, as a pairing, and that's been going on since 2011), and my guess is that they don't care. no one is shipping these characters with the real kratt brothers (i'd hope) and so i highly doubt any of that would affect them

tl;dr as long as people aren't being weird or disrespectful in any way about shipping, i think it's chill. these characters are fictional and can be treated as such as long as the real-life kratt brothers are being respected

[umgeorge]

undefined

george russell is interviewed after fp2, miami, florida, u.s. - may 5, 2023 (transcription under the cut)

Interviewer: "Great start to the day, P1 in FP1. Perhaps less so in FP2. Just try and sum it up for us." George: "Yeah, it seems... It was a similar thing last year. We were quickest on Friday, and then was knocked out in Q2 on Saturday, and the car just changed a little bit. Even from the medium run in FP2, I felt strong. I was on a lap that was a good couple of tenths up, which would have put me in the top four, and then put the soft tires on and the car just wasn't working for me. So I think we understand a little bit why that is and fortunately we've got the time to make improvements overnight, but yeah, it's fine margins." Interviewer: "Did the time of day of this session effect or alter the running plans at all? It seems there was a lot more soft running, a lot more quali-focused perhaps, than race pace running, and that may be a focus for FP3 tomorrow. Is that fair?" George: "Yeah, potentially. I think FP1 was a bit of a messy session. Perhaps more people put the emphasis on the quali runs now, but I think we'll go into Sunday a bit of an unknown. But the track's been resurfaced. It's still not performing like any other circuit, so it's a true outlier here, which is cool in some regards. I think it'll be really difficult to race because you can't drive offline, and I think you've seen with a few people now, myself included, you put one wheel off and there's no grip whatsoever. So don't really know what's going on in this Miami heat, because that's the theme, but yeah, let's see tomorrow." Interviewer: "And what are your expectations for qualifying? Where do you think you'll be?" George: "I think if we get things right there's no reason we can't be ahead of Ferrari and Aston Martin. That's the aim, and I think we've seen in these first four races now, it's really tight between those three teams. So if only that was for the win and pole position, it would be incredibly exciting, but it's good because it shows that if we get things right we can be rewarded and jump ahead of them. But I think we need to make some improvements overnight. We know we've got the potential, because we saw it in FP1 and we saw it at the start of FP2, but for sure we just need to get things aligned." Interviewer: "Lewis seemed quite frustrated. He tried to stay optimistic about how the car is feeling and performing here. What's your feeling in the car and how does it compare to first Baku, but also, of course, Melbourne, where we saw you guys really come alive." George: "I mean, this is a team of winners. Everybody here wants to win and anything less is frustrating, week after week. We know the journey we're on at the moment and still trying to understand, still trying to grasp how to find a lot more performance, to at least get us the best of the rest, and when we have sessions when we're not in that position, of course it's frustrating. We always want more, but that's the same for 19 out of 20 drivers on the grid. There's only one person happy on a Saturday and one person happy on a Sunday, and that's the one who finishes first."

[carmen-alamilla]

[cis woman and she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [CARMEN ALAMILLA]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [SALMA HAYEK]. You must be the [53] year old [OWNER OF TEJAS CANTINA]. Word is you’re [INDEPENDENT] but can also be a bit [ABRASIVE] and your favorite song is [SHE BANGS by RICKY MARTIN]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [SEABROOK QUARTER]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

@aurorabayaesthetic

BASICS

Full Name: Carmen Vanessa Alamilla Medina Nicknames: N/A Height: 5'2" Gender/Pronouns: cis woman | she & her Romantic/Sexual Orientation: heteroromantic | heterosexual Birth Date: August 18th, 1971 (53) Birth Place: Playa Azul, Michoacán, México Current Residence: Seabrook Quarter, Aurora Bay, CA, USA Occupation: Owner of Tejas Cantina Relationship Status: Single (Divorcee)

FAMILY

Father: Tejas Luis Alamilla Garcia, deceased Mother: Abril Concepción Medina Acosta, deceased Siblings: 3 full-blooded siblings, one half-brother (may as well be dead) Ex Husband: Christian McDowell (58, npc) Children: Isabel Alamilla, 1 younger child Grandchildren: Clara Alamilla Nieces/Nephews: Valeria Ortiz, Bruno Ortiz, Asher Ortiz, Carmen & Lydia Ortiz, more tba

SHORT BIO

tw for cheating, alluding to age difference relationships

Carmen was born and raised in her native México, surrounded by her extended family. Life was rough growing up, as her father was away from home on a fishing boat for months at a time, whilst her mother worked for various tourism groups. But with all bad comes good, as she had no shortage of various aunts and uncles (with only some being of blood relation) to look to. It takes a village to raise a child, and nowhere seemed more true than her little village.

Her life changed drastically when her father died in a boating accident days before her 19th birthday. Their little family managed to limp along thanks to the help of family and friends, but their generosity would only extend so far. With what little money they had running out, Carmen's mother made the decision to leave their beloved México behind, hoping for a better life in America.

The family moved to Aurora Bay, where her mother worked as a maid for one of the families in Aurora Bay Drive. When Carmen turned 21, she was introduced to Christian McDowell. Though she spoke little English, and he spoke virtually no Spanish, the pair managed to hit it off. By the age of 23, Carmen and Christian had married, and she'd moved into his home in Fisher's Cove. The couple eventually had two children, and it seemed that life couldn't be any better.

The cracks in their happy home started forming the first time Carmen realized her husband had wandering eyes. With the rise in messaging sites, she found more than a few suspect chats bookmarked in the web browser. It felt as if Christian had wanted his wife to find them, was looking for a reason to leave. But, she elected to stay silent, to pretend it didn't happen. She justified it to herself, it was for the good of her children.

A mistake, in hindsight. Followed by more mistakes, when the messages turned to meet ups, turned to affairs. The older she got, the older their children got, the younger her husband's mistresses seemingly became. She looked for distractions, for hobbies and interests, turned a blind eye. She opened Tejas Cantina in 2014, named after her father. It became a success after a year of struggle, and at the age of 44, Carmen filed for divorce.

It was a shock to many, but it had also been a long time coming for her. The divorce process was long and messy, but when it was finalized, she moved all of her things to a quaint little home in Seabrook Quarter. She even went as far as legally changing her name back to her maiden name, and has stayed fiercely single since. She refuses to become caught up with another American man.

CONNECTIONS

POTENTIAL

Neighbors from Seabrook/Former neighbors from Fisher's Cove

Friends

Enemies

A longstanding crush she refuses to acknowledge is there

Her kids/siblings/nieces and nephews

CURRENT

✿ Living Migraine The One that Got Away: Did Axel and Carmen ever date? No. Will they ever date? Also no. Will they play-flirt with each other if Carmen isn't smacking his head for the dumb shit that comes out his mouth? Most definitely. | @axel-mathis ✿ Angry Chihuahua Son: You know that "GET YO FUCKING DOG, BITCH/it don't bite" vine? Yeah, that's Carmen about Aiden. Yes, he's a troublemaker, but you don't have all the facts, which are that he's a good kid and a damn good cook. | @aiden-stevens ✿ Needs Therapy Niece: Carmen had visited her half-brother as often as she could just to see his kids. She hasn't seen Valeria in years, so hopefully they can actually have the relationship that dipshit sperm donor denied them. | @thevaleriaxortiz ✿ Five Finger Nephew: The last time Carmen saw Asher, he was but a wee bab. Probably gonna teach that boy proper Spanish. No nephew of hers is gonna be denied half of his heritage. | @heyits-asher ✿ Beloved Daughter: 1/3 of Carmen's whole world, the other two being her youngest and sweet Clara. Extremely proud of all that Izzy has done and always on call to babysit if needed. | @izzyxalamilla

[blorbocedes]

Heyy blorby anon who wrote about deaged Nico again I know it's been a long time since it was a hot topic on this blog but I watched the baby Nico video on his YouTube channel and I have thoughts and feelings about it again. So here's how I think the f1 teams would interact with deaged Nico:

1. Mercedes

According to them Nico is THEIR baby everyone else needs to back off. Each and every single Mercedes employee seems to be wrapped around his little finger and they are extremely possessive over him. Sidenote George I'd bribing him with candy to blame everything that goes wrong on Lando. Broken glass blame it on Lando. Finger painting on Toto's photo of Christian Horner blame it on Lando. Various Albon pets found in the Mercedes hospitality blame it on Lando

2. Williams

There is mutual adoration between them. Nico associates them with his dad and Williams associates him with good PR. Alex has experience with kids and knows how to play with kids without hurting them or treating them like they're made of porcelain bur he's still subjected to Lewis yelling "be gentle!he's only little!". Nicky just gives him a lot of Nutella and ends up giving him a sugar high just before returning him to Mercedes

3. Ferrari

Nico obviously loves them and they really need good PR because otherwise they'll need to open an OnlyFans. Charles and him babble at each other in French and Charles gives him plenty of his patented gentle cheek pinches and head pats. Ferrari has an unlimited folder of photos of them cuddled up. Also since no one can say no to Bambi eyes carlos and Ferrari has plenty of videos of Carlos attempting to converse with baby Nico while Nico just pulls his hair and hugs him.

4. McLaren

Nico shows up demanding Mika they can't provide him with Mika so he has a meltdown and screams his head off. This leads to Lando having a meltdown as well and calling Carlos for help. Carlos tries to make them get along but this just leads to more tears. Carlos has no idea which crying baby to calm down first. Daniel swoops in cheers him up shoots a lot of cute insta videos with him and has another PR win. Zak tries to recruit Nico to his endless list of potential mclaren drivers.

5. Haas

Loves Mick. Loves K Mag. Hates Steiner. "Gene the baby is a focking merc spy"

6. Red Bull and Alphatauri

I've clubbed them together because the answer is the same. He adores all of them. Max is an always willing playmate. Checo being a parent himself is a kid whisperer and knows all his non verbal communication. Pierre is French and messy and even in baby form Nico appreciates a good drama starter. Yuki is always bringing him exotic food items to try and teaching him fun Japanese phrases. However he hates Christian Horner because due to his and Toto's homoerotic behavior he believes that Toto is cheating on Susie with him

7. Aston Martin

Not much there but when Nico is being particularly bratty Seb wrangles him on to his lap and makes him sit still and behave and Aston Martin would never turn down a good photo opportunity

8. Alpine

Esteban and Pierre have the exact same relationship with Nico but Nico is also Esteban's back up Karaoke partner when Mick is busy. Fernando is attempting to partner with Nico to spread chaos

9. Alfa Romeo

Valtteri gave him his bucket hat for free after he caught Nico staring at it also he's trying to teach Nico Finnish. The Finnish lessons are actually going very well. If Nico had been on his best behavior all day (which is very rarely) Zhou makes him a tiny baby cup of bubble tea to sip at

Thanks for entertaining my unhingedness!!!

i NEEDED this dose of cuteness I need it injected into me actually 🥹🥹🥹

blame everything on lando!!! so true

"Nico associates Williams with his dad and they associate him with good PR" killed me. he IS good PR though. the greatest. although is he just a cute baby or is he world champion nico rosberg who turned into cute baby cause that's 2 different PR strategies 🤔

Ferrari having to choose between the onlyfans thirstposting or the baby fever posting 💀

GIVE HIM MIKA!!! GIVE HIM MIKA RN!! TAKE HIM OUT OF HIS SABBATICAL..... Carlos' crying baby being Lando you own my heart actually... naur zak brown tryna RECRUIT 💀

love that baby Nico has such strong opinions on monogamy

Max as a willing playmate 🥹 checo going full dad ahhhh saur cute... nico finally learning finnish...the baby bubble tea

this whole post is the equivalent of drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows... thank you

[horizon-verizon]

🔗 LINK to a Variety Article where Ryan Condal explains Daeron, Season 2: "‘House of the Dragon’ Showrunner Talks [SPOILER] in the Finale, Changes From George R.R. Martin’s Book, and What to Expect for Season 2"

Excerpt:

Interviewer: Why did you have Daemon choke Rhaenyra?

Condal: It’s a moment that I think is surprising and shocking for Daemon as a character, but I also think it’s one of those things that’s been set up over the course of the entire season. Daemon — while an incredibly charismatic and deeply interesting, complex character, I think — he’s also capable of great darkness. It’s simmering just beneath the surface. When he learns in that moment that Viserys never believed in him enough, as his actual heir to the throne, to pass this thing on that he clearly just easily passed on to Rhaenyra, it breaks him. He loved his brother so deeply and trusted him, even through all the problems that they had, and Viserys never shared it with him. He kept [Daemon] in the dark, and it just it breaks Daemon. Instead of reacting with grief or sadness that you see out of him later, he reacts with rage and he takes it out on Rhaenyra.

This is the same article/interview with the Condal's words about Aemond "reacting" that Seth Abramson criticizes HERE.

Condal's words about Alicent and Aemond:

Interviewer: In the book, Aemond means to kill Luke. So how did you decide to shift it to an accident instead?

Condal: Historians have told us that Aemond intended to kill Luke, but I don’t think any of them could purport to know what was going on in Aemond’s head the time. And I would also dispute the word “accident” a bit. I mean, Aemond got on his giant dragon and chased his nephew on his much smaller dragon through the clouds screaming and yelling at him, incensing his dragon and starting a fight. He didn’t know how Arrax or Luke were going to respond, and it ended in tragedy. I don’t think that was what Aemond intended when he threw his leg over the saddle, but he did a horrible, dangerous thing. That is the point: This is a war of many cuts that lead to a really, really bloody wound. It adds complexity and nuance to the character that’s potentially interesting. There’s lots of runway to go on with Aemond as a character and the story of the Dance. This is his first act as a dragon rider and a warrior and it’s gone very wrong. Now what happens as a result, and how does he respond? Those are the questions I’m interested in as dramatist.

Interviewer: Along with Alicent’s misunderstanding of Viserys’ deathbed ranting about the Prince Who Was Promised, is that something that we should be expecting through the run of this show: critical events unfolding as much by tragic happenstance as by clear intent?

Condal: We’re trying to make this as much like a real history is possible, and history is messy. The pieces for the Dance of the Dragons were put into place a long time ago. Whether or not Viserys has that conversation or doesn’t with Alicent, very likely the next morning they’re still having the same meeting. And I don’t know that Alicent actually has the power at that point to put a stop to them. So it’s more about how Alicent reacts to it. Her counsel, obviously, had this whole plan that they concocted without consulting her, you know, to find Aegon and place him on the throne. So does history change if that [conversation] doesn’t happen? Maybe things play out a little differently, I don’t know.

What we’re fascinated with, on a meta narrative level with this story, is showing how messy and unreliable history is. I mean, this is a book written by one author with an agenda trying to filter through the accounts of three other authors, all with their own agendas. And were expected to take the one true history out of this book? No. The thing that George is laughing at on the side is how anybody can read “Fire & Blood” and think that this is the one true official account of anything. It’s an expression of this story. There are things that happen in it that are very well documented and are real, and there are other things where there are huge gaps and we don’t know quite why this happened or who quite who this character was. Our story is trying to apply the whys, and the nuances to it. So I think there are things that are can be perceived as accidental are not quite as intended in real history, and that will happen in the show. But there’s plenty of instances through Season 1 where that thing happened exactly as was intended, and then you see the results.

[raichukaiju]

I've been trying almost too hard to make what I what I wanted to say about The Magnus Archives into the perfectly worded eloquent essay, but if I stay on that train of thought then I'll never get anything written, so I'm giving myself permission to make it a bunch of jumbled dot points. It's me writing down my feelings, not a graded essay. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be out of my head and on the page.

I have put it under a cut though since it's going to get long and I don't want to clog up people's dashes.

Before that though I really have to say thank you to @petticoat-swashbuckler for insisting that I listen to The Magnus Archives in the first place and then for letting me message you my live reactions to almost every episode (some at some truly awful hours), and thank you @jonnywaistcoat and everyone at Rusty Quill for the story you created that will always be a powerful gift and experience that I'll treasure forever~💚

Now Statement Begins let's go~ ⤵️

Never has a character spoken to my heart like Martin Blackwood. I see SO much of myself in him, even - especially - the messy parts. But he grows, he learns to set boundaries and take up space and stand up for himself, even if sometimes it's one-step-forward-two-steps-back sort of thing. But watching that character growth happen, as someone trying so hard with similar issues - it gives me a lot of hope for my own future. Also the fact that he's canonically fat and people celebrate that in fan art means so much, it's really helping me learn to love my body more, seeing this character I'm so close to drawn so often with a body like mine!!

Bouncing off that a bit, Recollection (ep 170) is the first episode that made me truly cry - full on sobbing on the couch, no exaggeration - and also feel a nauseous kind of fear rather than spooked or squicked, because it was so real. I get stuck in that fog too, more than I'd care to admit, and the way those emotions and experiences were layed out in that episode really hit hard. Martin's firm declaration "I am not lonely anymore" is something I'm carrying forward with me as a mantra. I'm not alone, I'm not lonely, I have friends who love me and want to see me get better and even in the thickest of fog, I will find a way out and back to them, back to myself. The temptation to eventually get that quote tattooed somewhere is very strong.

The fact that Jon is canonically asexual still makes my heart swell to bursting to think about - even if it isn't a major part of the story, it still means the world to me to have that representation, especially in a character so dear to my heart

Jon just means so much to me in general. I don't relate to him quite as heavily as I do Martin, but I still see connections. Though mostly when I think about Jon, to me he's my friend. He's my friend and I love him and I trust him and the podcast ending - aside from breaking my heart with what happened - felt like saying a goodbye I wasn't ready for to someone dear to me.

TMA is a story about a lot of things, but a big thing to me is that it's a story about choices. About how even decisions made with good intentions can still have negative consequences, but that doesn't make you a bad person. That making a decision at all can be just as important (if not more-so) as what you end up choosing. That don't have to make all the hard decisions alone. It's definitely something I needed to hear.

I've started slowly working on my fear of ants/swarms thanks to the Corruption episodes, so that's something!! (I did skip half of Pest Control (ep 55) and read the transcript of the rest though, it was making me want to crawl out of my skin. But I listened to Like Ants (ep 184) all the way through so yay for progress)

Speaking of the Fears, I'd absolutely serve the Vast!! Space, the deep sea and giant monsters don't scare me, though I definitely can the horror element in them. But to me, they're fascinating because of all of the potential there, all the beauty to see and learn about!! In that regard, I'm also certainly marked by the Eye - I need to know things! I love learning and researching and there's just so much in the world to discover and I know realistically I can never learn everything, but that doesn't mean I don't want to try. Another friend of mine said I was seeking a "Vastness of Knowledge" when we were talking about it and that's definitely an apt description!!

The existential side of the Vast does scare me though, that idea of cosmic insignificance is terrifying. I definitely agree with what Martin said to Simon - "I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever." - even if we're only here for a short time in the scheme of things, what we do in that time still matters because it's ours, and we still make an impact that ripples out even when we're gone.

It's re-sparked my interest in wanting to write horror (honestly just my desire to write in general) and reminded me how much I genuinely enjoy horror as a genre - it's just something easier for me to consume as a written or audio medium than a visual one, that doesn't mean I don't or can't enjoy it at all! Jonny's manner of storytelling is so compelling, and his descriptions - especially the statements in season five - have really lit a fire in me to up my game and work on my own creations

"Feed it, fearlessly and without hesitation, or it will feed on you" I know Jude Perry was talking literally about feeding the Fears, but this one stuck with me thinking about the idea of working on/with the things that scare me - "feeding" them - rather than letting them consume me. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but in my head it does and it's helpful to me which is the main thing.

Seriously The Magnus Archives has been so good for me in terms of helping me rethink/reframe a lot of my fear, anxiety and trauma. I'm so grateful for that, and even if it's hard to articulate (seriously not sure where to begin explaining it to my psych), it's something special to carry with me and help me push through. Part of me wishes I'd gotten into the show a lot sooner, but at the same time I think it truly came into my life when I needed it most and would get the most from it.

..... Ok once I started writing this was actually easier to get through than I initially thought it would be. I've still got a lot I want to talk about, but most of it would probably just end up being me posting quotes that ruined me and explaining why. But if anyone wants to talk about any aspect of TMA with me, please drop into my inbox!!! I'm usually better at answering questions than I am being left to ramble directionless (it's why I like writing essays so much, it's easier to keep focused on what information I'm presenting) and I'm not going to tire of talking about this series any time soon!!!

[m-pershyna-arts246-003]

Arts 102: Blog Post, Weeks 5-6 + Reading Reflection

Week 5: Following my class critique from week 4, I spent the weekend of week 5 creating a drawing for the poster concept I chose- A zombified mouth with a graveyard for lips for the Martin Luther King Jr. quote “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” I drew the the concept traditionally- Using paper and materials such as colored pencils and graphite. However, this pushed me out of my artistic comfort zone as I am not very experienced with those materials (Pens and markers are my strength). I was also aiming to draw the concept in a realistic style, which is an art style I didn't have much prior experience in. Ultimately, this led to me be visually dissatisfied with my end result- I found it to be overtly edgy, unsubtle in conveying the message, and messy in terms of craftsmanship.

My professor agreed, and she suggested I tried to either look at my other concepts or perhaps create a new concept in general. She guided me to the Great Ideas of Western Man archive as a way to help me find inspiration. After overlooking the gallery and quotes, I settled on a new quote: "The future of this republic is in the hands of the American Voter."- Dwight D. Eisenhower. This led me to create two new concepts:

During class critique on 9/20/2022, I received postive feedback on my eagle with hands for wings concept- And that all I had to do is flip my drawing horizontally in order for the 'future' to be symbolized. I was very happy and excited to work on my new poster concept, and spent the weekend drawing again.

Week 6:

Drawing art in the traditional medium is my strength, so I decided to outline and color in my eagle on paper and only use digital rendering for the horizontal flipping of my image.

However, following the scanning, I found myself to be dissatisfied with the dullness of the color and overall 'messiness' of the image (Graphite marks, smudges, etc.). Perhaps some digital rendering beyond flipping the image would do the trick...

Much better! Digital art is something I haven't had much experience with, meaning that this was very new and experimental to me. During group critique, I received positive and helpful feedback- Such as stylizing the eagle and doing color touch-ups. This led me to the creation of the most current Eagle drawing I have now:

Though my drawing isn't entirely done, I am very happy with how it is going, and am proud of myself for being to able to create this digitally, as it is a medium I am not very comfortable and experienced with. I found it really cool to be able to intersect my traditional line art style with the digital medium. :)

Reading Reflection (120-184): Graphic design is everywhere, and book covers are one of the examples where the creative potential of design and type intersect. In the past, I wouldn't notice many elements of design when reading books, aside from the cover. However, this reading made me realize there is a lot of considerations that are made when publishing a book such as typography, font, genre relation, and more. I'm also surprised to know that book covers aren't made by graphic designers alone, but by also the occasional collaboration of artists and art directors. I'm also curious to know: An ever-progressing modern world, how will graphic design be influenced by and evolve with long-term digitization? What if physical books become uncommon in the future, leading to the cessation of such medium for graphic design? Will other mediums become less common in the future due to digitization, and if so, how will that impact graphic design? Like books, magazines and newspapers are also heavily influenced by graphic design- Visuals, font, legibility, story placements, and photography are key elements for editorial design. Also, like books, editorials are becoming digitized. I found myself surprised to know that there are designers who specifically specialize in digital design- Perhaps it can be a potential career consideration for me, due to the increased demand for such designers. The rest of this reading was filled with examples for social innovation, illustration design, and package design, and I found myself curious and inspired by the designs I saw (Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Soap Packaging and Craig Frazier's art were my favorites!)

[grapesodadarkchocolate]

Spring--here--now???

January 16, 2024

“Of course history is the humbling story of our misbegotten inflations, and truth is the corrective story of how we return to exactly who we are.” —Mark Nepo

Dearest Richard,

Our nation was honoring Martin Luther King Jr. on his birthday yesterday. Most federal and state employees had the day off. A potential time for reflection on where we now ride as a country. Bringing much up close and personal for me.  Finding just cause for actions taken and falling short. Leading with the right foot arcing itself towards a more perfect world. I stand here in this moment claiming the roughness of intent towards actions taken. Humility is being eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner. What is lost and continuously seeks to be gained? What can be learned from our ancestors mistakes? This is the present question riding up for me. Continuing to learn, being held accountable for what I miss and need to amend. Staying humble throughout the process. Anything that alters the “good” that is  possible in a moment. It is something personal in the sense of my own responsibility in how I react. It isn’t because of somebody else, but it is about me in particular. Being personal because it is something between me and God. If I, for my entire life lean myself towards God’s divine design that is within me, then I experience a lot of writing on life’s chalkboard and then erasing. Trying again and erasing again. Not feeling shame, just feeling that I have a goal that I am working on and I need to practice more each and every day. Grounding down my innate imperfections over and again. This is what I am learning.

“Where did this all come from?” you might wonder. Getting sidetracked—yup,  but please stay with me for a bit. It makes sense in my head and I am anticipating this thinking will eventually bring me back around to where I need to continue heading out from. Learning something new can be messy and with no clear map it is easy to get off road. That can be where some of the most profound understanding can be found or it might just be a way to use up more gas. To get closer to running on empty. But that is the risk. I am presently game to take it and I hope you are too. For it seems more alive and open to the expanse of what life continues to offer me when I keep my eyes wide open.

So here goes— an explanation of my  brain’s thoughts, as tangle webbed as they may seem. As part of your archived papers saved by Martha Jane, I was reading through the Gethsemane Parish Visitor weekly newsletter telling of events for the week of October 5, 1945. It was where the notice of your upcoming memorial service was circled. To be held the following Sunday: “Open to all who wish to come,”  the notice read. In the leaflet there was a smattering of details about the number of parishioners in the pews that previous Sunday, the schedule for an upcoming Boy Scout meeting and the next speaker for the Youth Group. Mr. John Sinykin would be speaking about his project for training seeing eye dogs. Sounds interesting. There was even an ad for a jewelry store, White & MacNaught nearby at 812 Nicollet Ave., “offering a solution for my gift problem.” Huh.

Reading further along. Thinking about how the everyday details were interspersed in along with your memorial service notice. There was a congratulating shout out to Betty Anne Weitzel for having just, the previous Wednesday, graduated from St. Barnabas nursing school. There was a welcome home for Walter Hall who was returning from overseas following his honorable discharge from the army. Dang. There that wordless pain can thwack one in the face. I am glad Walter was returning home, but what about you? You needed to return home too. So I continue to read and on page 3 I come across this article by John Wall of Virginia. This is part two of his article. Part one was on the previous week’s bulletin, but this is the key sentences that caught my attention: 

“They [African Americans] have seen a world at war over ideas and ideals. They have learned that equality of economic, educational, and social opportunities is the right of every citizen regardless of race, creed, or color. No longer will they accept a second-class citizenship role.”

That message slapped up against my more recent finding about your dad and his land development company condoning racial covenants on land he was subdividing in this city where both of us were born. 

Here is the legalese from a document I had of some of his loan transactions. Selling only to the “caucasian” race. Learning more as more is uncovered. Trying to find room for what prejudicial actions look like and where we move from what is known and accepted. Or at least not spoken against to stop. So here he is, possibly sitting in a Gethsemane church pew, reading this article. Knowing there was movement that the war unlatched. Your dad, having worked in said position for decades now. Having raised a family. Moved out of the family home. Not certain if he was employed at this time or not. I don’t know what was in the mix but I just wondered if there was movement toward change for him? Was he a single bystander doing whatever everyone else was doing in the real estate business during the 20’s, 30’s and early 40’s or was he more of a ring leader? Knowing the power of silence can hold the crime of harm in place as much as overt actions can.

Just wondering. Stirring up the pot. Adding more ingredients into the mix. 

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." — Martin Luther King Jr.

With deep love and incessant curiosity,

Your Niece ❤️

Related blog entry: The Imperfects: July 4th: Read , July 4, 2019 🍇🥤🍫

This Week:

Words Matter: Opinion: "The problem isn’t Biden’s ‘illegal’ gaffe" by Jose Antonio Vargas, CNN: Read, March 11, 2024 📰

[figureskatingfanblog]

Massive Triple Twist, just wow! A bit of out synch on the sbs Triple Sals, and she fell. Drifted a bit far apart on the sbs combo. Nice lift. A bit too hesitant and telegraphed going into that throw Triple Loop, and it looked under. Nice lift. Huge throw Triple Sal, and she fell. Nice death spiral. Nice pairs spin! That was quite the entrance into that lift!

Ooh, don't know what happened there; they ended before the music.

That was a messy program from Chelsea Liu and Balazs Nagy. There's a lot to like about them, but the sbs jumps and the throws definitely need work. They are a first-year team, so hopefully, they can grow and improve because they have a lot of potential.

118.70, 178.83 and into first ahead of Martins/Bedard, Digernes/Sadusky and Korytek/Chapman.

[austronauts]

Hi bestie I'm making a presentation on Mitch to my friends (please don't ask I have immeasurable brainrot and need to get it out somehow) but I don't really know what to include to really encapsulate all of his... everything so what are your personal favourite moments/ important Mitch lore. Also if you could drop some pics of him sitting on men's laps and engaging in otherwise questionable activity that would also be appreciated lol

oh my GOD. that is SO CUTE and i am so so honored to be called upon to help you with this incredible project.

i feel like (although its in need of an update. not me doing quarterly updates of this mitch marner primer like it's my actual job) my mitch marner primer will have a lot of the content you're looking for (if you haven't already seen it flkjdlsss. apologies in advance for the insanity of this even existing) *also my matt martin tag, justin holl tag, and patrick marleau tag has a lot of adorable gifs and photos!)

random things that immediately come to mind are what justin holl and alex kerfoot and Zach hyman said about mitch that just STAY WITH ME because i feel like they convey what mitch means and is for the people around him: justin holl: “you can’t really put into words how much Mitchy means to this team” alex kerfoot [when asked about where the leafs miss mitch the most - when mitch was out with injury i think]: "we miss him everywhere" zach hyman listing the things he'd want on a desert island: mitch

Other lore stuff (this is going to be very stream of consciousness and messy...apologies in advance)

The way Mitch draws SMILEY FACES and stuff on his gloves to remind him that hockey is supposed to be fun (and sometimes he writes Z on it - presumably for Zeus. Other times he's written H on it for Hayden, a child cancer patient/friend that Mitch befriended during his London Knights Days, which you can read more about here)

THE ENTIRE ATHLETIC ARTICLE about what mitch was like during his London Knights days https://theathletic.com/2469915/2021/03/25/mitch-marner-ohl-season/. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ARTICLE but does have a paywall…if you don’t have a subscription, copy+pasting the athletic link into here should allow you to bypass

This video of Zach asking reporters if they caught Mitch singing loudly in the lockerroom lmao. I just LOVE how every single Leaf immediately points out Mitch as the one who's most likely to always be busting out into song and dance. I just know he was a Gleek when he was younger i just KNOW IT

What Jon Cooper says about Mitch. i just know jon cooper is smackin his lips somewhere out there wanting to sign mitch to play for him. Coops i know what you are

The way it's literally IMPOSSIBLE for mitch to go ANYWHERE or do anything without acquiring at least 3-5 doting father figures who want to kidnap him and squeeze him like a stress ball (same)

EVERY. SINGLE. THING about the 2015 NHL draft class and the friendship between connor dylan and mitch. every single thing

The way Mitch takes ANY and EVERY opportunity he can to gas auston and his teammates up! and his general inability to chirp anyone without immediately backtracking (most noticeable in the leaf to leaf with matt martin) and being a big loser about it. I know he always says he LOVES getting under his friends' skin and being annoying but i feel like this is like the time he asserted "he was thick for his size"? aka patently false but we love the DELUSION for you, babygirl! no but fr - it is generally impossible for mitch to get through any media appearance without complimenting or referring to auston at LEAST once. that boy is a simp to the core for auston matthews. this i think is even sweeter because - idk about now - but it's pretty clear that mitch's dad saw auston as a massive rival to mitch and a threat to mitch's potential success with the leafs? so mitch's friendship with auston and general "HEART EYES HUMINA HUMINA AWOOOGA HES SO GOOD HES MY BIG BOY HES MY MASSIVE MAN" demeanor about auston is all...in spite of his dad

The way he's never met a goalie he hasn't fallen in love with

The way he loves all dogs and kids (and the way kids seem to gravitate toward him). he's a CARICATURE of a man.

The way he complains and whines SO much whenever his teammate posts a photo without tagging him, even if he's not even in the photo. the constant need for attention. the babygirl behavior!

The way he sTILL HATES VEGETABLES and distrusts soup because of the texture and YET will make "ice cream soup" by mixing it with a spoon until it's all melted before he eats it. like what the fuck? what the fuck.

his utterly guileless warmth and happiness and enthusiasm for LIFE, hockey, and his PALS. he's a little stupid sometimes but he's so sweet and so CUTE and just a little k-pop group maknae-coded man

The way he melts himself into older players' families so thoroughly their kids believe that mitch is actually one of them

Moments of Mitch sitting on other players' laps or generally needing to be the most tactile physical-affection craving baby:

mitch and matt napping and spooning

this just makes me laugh bc mitch...wat are u doin

anyway, i will end this with what my friend said about mitch: i think once you're friends with mitch you just accept that he will be cuddling and spooning and draping himself over you. look. all these men clearly have the tired expressions of 'look, mitch just happened to me i didnt have a choice.'

[i-want-it-on-fire]

Not sure how coherent this is going to be, but I have had Some Thoughts™ that have been pinging around in my head for a while now, but I'm still not sure how to properly articulate them.

You know what fucks me up about the final episode and about Jon's character arc in general? Agency. Like I haven't actually seen a lot of meta about the finale or reactions to it, but I know one of mine was "Jon wtf omg why" which was immediately followed by "oh wait oh no of course he fucking did this, this is so sad." Because something that's always fucked me up about him is how little choice he's had in anything that's happened to him during the show and just how cruel other characters are to him about that from the very beginning.

Season 3 is a notable example when Elias (I can't call him Jonah, it feels wrong lmao) tells Jon that maybe he never wanted to be an avatar/the Archivist but he "absolutely did choose it." Which is such a horrible thing to say to someone (especially someone you are actively manipulating into being your doomsday device.) There might be others, which I'll probably go back and find if I choose to write a full essay on this.

And the cruelty of Jon's whole situation really stood out to me with Annabelle's "and then we took his voice" comment. Because that's an extremely loaded sentence. The Web literally used his voice to construct its escape plan, but it also took away any agency or say Jon had in what was happening to him or the people around him. It took his voice both literally AND figuratively, and based on his immediate reaction to that statement, I don't think that was lost on him.

Jon's entire journey during this podcast (even his entire life if you want to take what Annabelle said at face value) has been one big chess game played by things bigger than him that absolutely do not care about him as a person. His whole life has been a charade leading up to this moment: ending the world, and then potentially ending it for other worlds as well. And at every turn the people orchestrating it have taunted him with the fact that he can't do anything about it.

Like...how fucked up is that?

I wondered in the moment why he would go behind everyone's backs (Martin's ESPECIALLY) like that at the end, but when I thought about it for more than a second I realized there's nothing else he could have done. That was his last opportunity to have any say in what happened to him, the world, or the Fears, and because of all the trauma he's been through and never really had the chance to recover from, of course he decided he wasn't going to let this kind of thing happen to anyone else, even if it meant betraying the people he loved and dooming his world all over again.

And I think what makes it worse is that I don't think anyone else ever really understood how much making that choice mattered to him, even if it wasn't the "right" one (though we could argue all day about which choice was the "right" one in that scenario. I would argue there wasn't one.) And I think part of the tragedy is that had Jon been better at reaching out to other people throughout the course of the series or had people reached out to him more, this may not have happened. And because of everything that happened to these characters, the ways in which it happened, and how they all reacted to it, I'm not sure how capable any of them were of doing that.

It's easy to judge people for how they respond to trauma when you're not in the thick of it, but when you're stuck in the middle of a horrible situation like that? Sometimes you feel like all you can do is try to survive. Trauma makes you feel like, well...like you have no agency. And sometimes it's impossible to know what exactly is going to be the thing that pulls you out of it and into a healthier place (though not being trapped in an eldritch library designed to feed people to evil gods probably would have helped.) The tragedy is that Jon's situation and the situation of everyone else around him feels like it could have been prevented, but it became so tangled and messy that it's impossible to say that fixing just one thing would have stopped it, and if you follow those threads long enough, you start to wonder if it could have been stopped at all.