#so this can be a nice compromise
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We got a treadmill for free from a friend/my boss a week or so ago, and I had a lot of weird energy today so I decided to test it out. Walked for some time (I wanna say it was like 25 min but I don't remember) and then hours later still had the weird energy and walked another 20 min
And idk how much I'll keep it up but it did seem to help today at the least
Legs do feel a bit like I've been walking too long on the moving sidewalks at like universal or airports...
#i was super dizy or like off balence feeling the first time#the second time i sorta expected it but it still caught me off guard#it wasnt like ny legs hurt it just i felt wobbly#which was concerning a little#and now that ive been sitting some my legs feel a little jelly and also like when ive been in a lazy river for hours#the second time i upped the speed for a little bit and that was maybe a mistake#nick said he walks it on a 3 and its not a competition but i had earlier walked onba 1.5 so i tried 2#and i do walk that fast when im like Going somewhere but for whst i was doing it was too fast and i stopped after a couple min#i liked walking Kenzie but she stops a lot when im in a groove and now the weather is getting better there more people and dogs and i hate#walking her when shell get so distracted or even be rude#so this can be a nice compromise#dont mind me#tag rambles#still got hella weird energy and i am not as tired as i should be because i have work in the morning
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Reading/thinking about Sol some more, and I do think there's a need from some viewers for him to be either the pure selfless "healthy romance" choice OR purely selfish and unworthy of Joe, and imo he's neither, and that's what makes him interesting and human.
He hurt Joe by assuming the worst of him (in like, a very specifically, viscerally hurtful-to-queers way) and running away; he expects to be able to pick up where they left off as soon as he comes back, and really struggles to calibrate to the fact that Joe neither held a grudge against him nor pined for him this whole time. He just... moved on.
A lot of the ways Sol tries to support Joe or intervene in his toxic relationship with Ming are blatantly compromised by how much Sol wants Joe to choose him instead, but he's also right about Ming. I find him compelling because he goes harder than anyone before Ing in consistently, materially trying to be there for Joe, but there's always that level of selfish motivation to Sol's actions where he doesn't just want to protect Joe from violence or danger, he wants to redirect Joe's feelings from Ming back to himself. (And sometimes he fails to protect Joe not because Joe won't let him intervene but because he's too busy fighting Ming to pay attention to the guy they both just knocked to the ground!!)
If Sol really let go of the idea that Joe could ever want him again, would he still be as ride-or-die for Joe? Is the sincerity Joe showed him something he's repaying in kind, or is there always something he still wants from Joe lingering in the background? Is it possible to sincerely support someone you haven't stopped hoping will one day choose you? And when Joe refuses to let Sol help him, is it because he can't let himself burden a junior, or because he is intuiting and avoiding those strings that come attached to Sol's help, or both?
To me all of those questions are a lot more interesting than like "does Sol deserve Joe" or anything along those lines.
#my stand in#too sleep deprived to be posting but its on my mind!!!#it's so easy for the secondary romantic lead to get slotted into Nice Guy framing#and i think sol has sidestepped that for the most part#but he's still not perfect#when he helps joe get out of a sticky situation with ming and tong#he's still hoping to prove to joe that him and ming are incompatible#his selfishness and sincerity are both present at the same time#i find that compelling idk#i personally think he would be happy supporting joe any way he can and never expecting anything in return#but he will also never stop hoping#does wanting someone to love you back fundamentally taint the character of your devotion or support for them?#idts!!! otoh it can compromise your judgment and choices#in ways you aren't always able to stay cognizant of or honest about#and i think sol and how he tries to support joe really portrays that complexity well#dear diary
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I highly recommend getting a highly social dog breed. Being told by pet professionals that my dog is delightful just really never gets old.
#dogblr#about aurora#sure i have to compromise on engagement response speed and off leash capabilities#but in return i have a dog that i can hand off to anyone and know she will be a happy little animal#i know the average quality of dog most pet professionals deal with on the daily#it is always so nice to hear that rory exceeds expectations every time
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I made this because I didn’t know how to remove wearables from my pets
(Quiggler views all clothing with the same excitement as someone about to hold up two donuts over their eyes)
#neopets#neotag#neoart#quiggle#kiko#shoyru#aquanutart#finished it for the april fools neopian times hence the banana#(which stayed on longer than expected)#this is a comic about how I tried to change her hairbow but now this is her hairbow forever#(i still don't really think of pets as wearing clothes though)#i eventually was able to remove wearables again so i don't know if i just forgot how or if it was a glitch#she always wanted to be pink but at the time it was too expensive for me so she was painted striped as a compromise#because the stripes are pink#at the time a striped pb was around 200k#i think striped is a very nice color so i do miss it a little since her stripes matched quiggler's red ones#but i have old old ms paint art from when i was 11 of her as a pink kiko so now that i could i just had to make that real!#in fact i think one or two of her early beauty contest entries (when i was so young i couldn't advertise) depicted her as pink#which i was actually not supposed to do because you're not supposed to draw the pet as a different color from what they are whoops#wait no i correct myself on that. it's the species that is supposed to match but the color can be anything so it was okay apparently??#she's actually the oldest (being the only one who's adopted) but acts like the youngest and tends to try to help in sort of naive ways#she is concerned for all living things but especially slorgs and especially her slorg
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This base by dalgyu_777 was suggested to me in a Pinterest email this morning, and I couldn't resist drawing a version with the third years.
I did my initial sketch from memory (you can tell I don't draw Atsushi that often).
Felt like doing a looser line art, so I referenced the rough season one character sheets I won in that auction a while back.
Anyway, I binged this in two sittings. Didn't keep track of how long it took me, though...
(Keep meaning to test out the screen recording feature of CSP, but always forget until I'm already far in...)
#boueibu#boueibu love#enkin#my art#(i uploaded the full color version to discord and then realized i hadn't done the shading on atsushi's shirt and tie 😭)#(fixed it here)#(anyway i've said it before)#(all i want in the movie is an enkin moment)#(something that i can manipulate for future amvs)#(or something more outright)#(like en doing something and kinshirou gets angy)#(<- yes angy; not angry)#(like i'd love for them to go a cpr route like homuruu in f-ran)#(or some sort of forced proximity so like. they're stuck together between walls or something in a compromising position)#(bonus points if en says kinshirou smells nice)
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i don't really know how to word this but like i feel like i'm gonna forever have to deal with the pain and heartache of one of my very first pokémon games- the first 'normal' pokémon game i've ever played, that i will have lasting nostalgia and love for as a result of it being formative to my introduction into the series- being the one that will forever be looked down upon for bad graphics and technical issues as a result of the game having been rushed
like i honest to goodness want to scream and yell and cry into the void about how this means everything to me and will always be one of my fave games just in general. but how am i gonna do that without someone being like 'the broken overpriced mess? the one that's missing all this stuff from the older games that was great? the thing with all the cringe? that one?' or whatever. and the thing is they aren't wrong for their criticisms either like i know the fact that they rushed this wonderful game hardcore is a massive stain on its reputation and it hurts me too but like i cannot turn off the brain full of love in me and be a mean critic. or even an impartial one. i mean i criticize everything i love don't get me wrong i am constantly running my mouth about what i like and don't like. but at the end of the day i approach all media with an unusually optimistic mindset. if you see me talk a ton about something no matter what i'm saying you can bet it means i love it.
just. aaagh. it's always tough being a new fan of an old series. i'm like too embarrassed to express my opinions bc i feel like they're invalid y'know? i feel so exhausted every time i see something to the effect of like 'oh those poor kids these days having to deal with such bad quality everything what a bad time to be a fan of pokémon wow y'all make me feel so old' well see the thing is i actually am thriving and i love it here. and i'm also an adult myself so i have more critical thinking skills than people who played red when they were like five years old did. and even with the power of critical thinking i manage to be in love with this. join me in marvelling at the beauty of life
#sorry for the massive rant i am full of both love and rage but i feel alone in this world about this particular subject#my other fav complaint is like 'they make it too easy to xyz these days'#to me that reads like 'i suffered so why shouldn't they'#yes we should encourage people to spend 100 hours grinding to do basic story requirements.#to weed out the true gamers from the weaklings. or maybe we could use the spare time in our lives to touch grass#the only easy-fication change in sv i don't like is the ability to access boxes right from the menu#that kinda cheapens the need to strategically organize a team before heading somewhere#i can.. sorta understand being miffed about the remember moves mechanic?#frankly platinum was so stressful with not being able to freely switch without great hassle/cost#it would have been a fair enough compromise to make you pay a bit of lp or something#or do it for free but having to go to like a pokécenter or something#i'll never agree that exp share is bad though sorry#pokémon#ok but about the 'i feel bad for kids these days with these ugly designs/lame 3D models' thing#yeah i have news for you every gen has its ugly/stupid pokémon.#dude look at exeggcute#and some of the oldest spritework is hideous#granted the ds era spritework was beautiful#but i don't see what is so bad about the 3D models of today? they're both nice...#dude play an indie game or something if it's that important to you idk#it will never be the 90s again. it will never be the 00s again. i'm sorry.
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thinking about fallout 4 against my will
#random thoughts#fallout#unfortunately nora compels me#the fact the 'hi honey!' tape specifically mentions her 'shaking the dust off' her law degree is interesting#like she gave up her job to stay at home with her husband and kid. why?#like that's a whole year. at LEAST.#love the idea of nate pressuring her into it <3 maternity leave turns into 'isnt it so nice being with sean around the clock?'#'too bad you won't have this quality time when you return to work'#turns into 'you can always return to work if you feel like it but we DO have a lot saved up . . .'#and it's like. okay so fallout 4 would be so much better if it were set in the 1960s. literally no reason it shouldnt be#yknow beyond complying with lore which. it isnt that faithful to in the first place#i just think it's weird the game is like 'here's the FUTURE' and then it's like 'here's the FUTURE FUTURE'#anyway make it the 1960s. give me time-appropriate fucked up family dynamics#and nora's a laywer and a feminist who promised herself she'd never compromise her career for a man#and nate seemed so NICE and like he understood until uh oh. frog in a slow cooker#and he makes everything seem like it's her idea until she's barefoot in the kitchen with a screaming baby on her hip and burnt food in a pan#and she doesn't even realize she's trapped until it's too late. isolated from friends and family#idk ill do more research later to make it more time-accurate (ESPECIALLY interested in second-wave feminism)#anyway i think she cheats. with a door-to-door salesman selling places in the bomb shelters#(honestly probably the only adult social interaction she's had in weeks beyond her husband)#i like to think at some point she had a bit of a car accident due to the stress so nate took her keys#probably just a minor fender bender he blew out of proportion but she believes it because oh god what if she hurt sean#her feelings toward sean are complicated. i dont think she quite loves him which she feels guilty about so she overcompensates#with trying to keep him as safe as possible and she feels like he KNOWS and HATES her#(honestly when the bombs drop everything happens so quickly and when she's in the future and registers sean's gone she feels. so relieved)#(followed by heavy shame)#nate sabotaged her birth control btw. love evil 1960s patriarchs#never outright stated but heavily implied!#anyway nora in the future (while she felt very progressive for her time) feels very out of place#like her ideals have no place. like she has no place
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one of these days I gotta see how far or fast I can actually run...
#feels like a big win just to pull 4k off at all because in the past I could barely make like. 100m. lol#but I go at a super comfortable pace and when I get back to the turnoff to head home I'm just like 'ugh' to go another loop#mostly because like. bored#sounds super dull to repeat#I could however do a longer route in the first place but I don't actually know where the boundaries of my capacities lie#could just walk or bus back ig.#running#today's weather was so nice I was like surely I cannot spend the first day of spring looking at the dark walls of the gym.#but also I can feasibly run to the gym in the future I think. quicker than waiting for the bus#I'm alive enough at 2.5k to do weights probably#unsure how much it would compromise performance#alternatively back home in a couple months when it's still light out at 8pm#then again I'd have to carry shoes probably which would be very annoying
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oughhh so anxious about returning to work tomorrow...
#i knowwwwww i'll be fine but STILL#cannot help but feel everyone will keep an extra close eye on me in case i do something wrong again#that could compromise the reputation of my place of work#customer facing job my beloathed. it's actually so draining to be so sweet and nice and chatty and make eye contact the normal amount#like yeah i can do it but it fucks me up so much which i have to recover from for such a long time IDK!!!!!!!!#also what if i fuck it up again somehow and my boss decides enough is enough and fires me on the spot?????
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Oh also. Sorry, moots if I kinda ghost you rn. Don't mean to. Currently have like 2 hours wifi time during the week and my mobile data is all used up, so all I have is slow speed data, that's just enough to post.
#my dad is in his toxic alpha male era rn. what can i say#just gotta get through june and then my school wont take grades anymore so i might have a chance to talk to him about this again#but about every other time that i asked for a compromise or at least to be heard i got the “yk parents should know their kids passwords”#:))) hahahaa#maybe im asking for too much but loving understanding parents would be nice sometimes#anyway i didnt wanna get to that bc i could rant for another whole tag-section about it#so dont mean to ghost you mooties. ly all#quinns daily yapping post
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The dolls of my dream for the past 3 years, I finally have the 20cm version aaaaaa
Truly love @/rivershirt (twitter) goyuu arts and dolls 💙🧡
Bonus: Bc Yuuji's hanfu outfit had a mishap, now waiting for seller to do an exchange before I can cloth Yuuji in matching red so..........
Gojo having naked Yuuji / he just undressed Yuuji eheheh
#jujutsu kaisen#goyuu#oh gosh i really love them so much#i wish there was a goyuu doll group so i can learn more on care and maintenance and chat abt doll clothes for them and photoshoots and just#gush#less than an hour of having them dolls. I've alrd placed them in a compromising position ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#i need to iron out the hanfu pants also#their butts are so firm and nicely shaped too 🍑🍑#about to give the dolls a full body soaking and washing.... praying and hoping they don't get damaged or distorted in the process#please sun. warm them fully#it's really funny. they have really thicc butts but... gojo has the thicker butt than yuuji (not by much but still)#i think gojo's sewing is tighter than yuuji's hence the shape came out more for gojo. anyways fanonly flat ass gojo has really fat butt#and that's real funny to me. even thicker ass than the canon big ass loving yuuji#i like to think that gojo made a request to the manufacturer to give him bigger ass to make up his one flaw to make himself the most#desirable man to yuuji#(gonna keep this post pinned so i can keep coming back and gushing and adding more thoughts/tags bc i can get a lot)
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If the Loki writers absolutely had to have an unnecessary romance baked into the plot and weren’t cowards, they would’ve paired Loki and He Who Remains together.
He could’ve made it to the Citadel at like the beginning of episode 5 and had more time to build a dynamic between just the two of them- whatever dynamic it would’ve been.
And then that would solidify Loki a major role in the Kang storyline in the main mcu, because in addition to being the one to open the multiverse (sylvie doesn’t exist in this au shh) he’d have an emotional history with the only “good” variant of him.
#also I’m imagining the two having a nice sentimental time where HWR shows loki all the different ways his life could’ve gone etc#and Loki surprises HWR by recognising his loneliness and melancholy hiding beneath the manic mask#and like yea sure HWR paved the road for Loki to get there bc he (supposedly) wanted him to takeover as time lord or whtvr#but he had no idea what would happen once loki got to his castle#all of this is new and exciting and fresh and emotional for him#it’s the first time he’s had a spontaneous interaction with anyone in literally all of time#and Loki empathises with him and feels drawn to him and tries to convince him to work out some sort of compromise#where people can have free will yet the evil Kangs don’t get released#(which is what I think he was gonna suggest to sylvie when he said ‘hang on a moment-‘ but ofc we know how that went)#but kang is tired and just wants change and for his time as ruler to be over so he refuses to compromise#and says either loki can take over as dictator or kill him and let it all loose#and we know which option loki the god of chaos would choose#I haven’t even thought this out rly I just think it had potential#loki x he who remains#loki x kang#loki x hwr#loki series#loki#kang#anti sylvie#antisylki
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i made a super closeted facebook page to interact with korea community groups and saw a job posting tonight on one of them in jeonju where i want to move next year...she's hiring for sept and i dont wanna quit another job mid-contract but i messaged her anyway and she was like ooooh when you move to jeonju next year will you be on an f visa would you be interested in part time heres our insta i majored in design and started having a bunch of like Real conversations with me and i'm like damn when was the last time a hagwon owner spoke to me like i am a human being.
#i hope i can actually stay in touch with her i would love to do pt next year#a nice compromise between jiwon's 'dont work' suggestion and fulltime hagwon hell employment#and she seems genuinely so nice and her insta posts are very Anti Textbooks For Babies and big on movement art and songs so#i want to keep in touch for sure#t
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#sometimes i wonder if i should just go by maryam professionally#i feel like this would extremely lower my chances of getting outed on accident lmao.#all my branding is centered on my renegaedz username anyway like if i switched over itd alter pretty much nothing.#my dad simultaneously being so neglectful but such a fucking busybody and all my transphobic irls literal only reason id need to do this.#in theory i would not have to have literal separate art identities to keep up the facade but then i would have to play a balancing game#but then this means letting everyone i know irl into my little zone lmaooo i hate everyone .#i hate so many of my irls lol you all make me so fucking mad and make me hate being trans so fucking much sometimes.#why do i have to compromise on who i am just so i can fucking exist#'what if i compromise on how i present myself so i dont need to worry about being open about my art ventures'#all this so i can be open to people who i went through hell for over a decade to#connect to who rejected me already just because im autistic . everyday im violent.#people who would want me to fucking die and spit on my existence forever if they knew i didnt hate gay people#let alone that im fucking trans haha ? hahaha yeah so true i should suck up forever and vie for the attention of people#who hate me already and keep me around to be nice#i hate everyone so fucking much sometimes honestly. you all act like youre on some moral warfront fighting against westerners pushing queer#as if historically queerness was pushed out of muslim communities and south asia because of FUCKING COLONIZATION#i fkjhckjhk يا الله the people on this earth are in their stupidity arc#i hate u all i hate u all . acting like we must fight to protect our communities but then turn a blind eye to how u hurt ur communities.#there aint no fucking queer epidemic and even if it WAS haram you know what is worse? fucking LYING. go worry about THAT#vent#sorry i am so insane rn i have suddenly gotten so mad for no reason lmao
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I'm ALREADY writing a goddamn essay but the way that I could write a whole nother essay examining just "it's true, people don't trust pretty people"
#i have SO many thoughts on this one single line like#suggestion is WRONG here & the text of the game itself proves that suggestion is wrong#w joyce 'but she told me a nice story. but she told me shes insane like me' w klaasje & the compromised skills#w literally NO ONE ever trusting evrart#its literally so fascinating to me but i can NOT get into it rn#texticles
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im so tired but i cant go to sleep until i clean my mess in the kitchen but i cant clran my mess in the kitchen because i have 0 energy
#yk what i will take a nap on the kitchen chairs and as soon as someone walks in here i will wake up so i can clean#nice compromise i think#des rambles
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