#so yeah they all have varying levels of guilt

[spinningbagel]

Ok I got another one, this time about your Homeless AU. It’s more of a general question about the characters than about one specific character but yeah.

After they kicked Sheriff to the streets, did they ever miss him/feel bad about doing that?

You're answer for that would be yes! Or at least some did.

Shooter 100% felt bad, he wasn't really in favour of giving Sheriff the good ol' boot but in the end, majority voted to do so so he either had to go with it or follow in Sheriffs footsteps. And despite feeling bad, a safe place to live where he wasn't struggling to stay afloat and survive was ranked a bit higher than Sheriff.

Dr. White absolutely did, despite voting in favour of kicking out Sheriff. He regretted it yes, but he had to think logically. There was no way he could risk it. The mission was too important. This was the one way they could save the world. The one way they could help Sheriff. He does subtly help Sheriff out however to somewhat make up for it. I think I talk about it in a post somewhere.

Vegan? Not really. Her mind was on the mission and the mission only. She couldn't have someone like Sheriff potentially jeopardise it.

BP is more or less the same as Dr. White, without the addition of help Sheriff out subtly. He's just highly conflicted about the whole thing. He would've preferred if Sheriff could've stuck around.

Brutux is practically on par with Vegan although he's willing to admit that it was a bit of a shitty thing for them to do, leaving Sheriff out there alone without a means to protect himself or keep himself alive, pretty much forcing him to succumb to the mutation.

So yeah, enough guilt to go around for everyone!!! Homeless is one of my favourite Aus and I don't talk about it as much as I'd like so I appreciate the ask!!!!

[feartoxinjelloshot]

clipsverse SWAP AU! for fun! character elaboration under the cut because it gets kind of wordy:

selina's deal is pretty straightforward: she has the typical “saw parents die as a child" backstory, but she’s obviously not a millionare so she’s operating out of some kind of condemned underground parking lot... somewhere. authentic gotham grunge i guess. she’s a functioning alcoholic and i am obsessed with her. she's a hardboiled detective like batman, but tends to be a bit more cynical - sort of like if rorschach from watchmen was a normal person and also didn't hate sex. firefly is her "guy in the chair" similar to what alfred is to batman in canon, minus the surrogate parent part, obviously. public opinion is pretty split on if the bat is a man or a woman under there. i don't really have swap ideas for the robins ironed out, but i'm thinking that cass and stephanie are her robin and red hood equivalents (cass being dick, stephanie being jason). cass would have an allblack bird theme going on, so she might be "crow" or "blackbird" instead of robin. dunno what stephanie's red hood rendition is like. purple hood? i'll figure it out eventually.

bruce’s parents are alive, but he has a terrible relationship with them and with his own wealth so he mitigates the guilt complex by dressing up as a cat to steal and redistribute resources to people who actually need it. he could probably do that in daylight but there is something very wrong with him. i don't think his dumb slutty playboy persona is entirely genuine even without his parents' deaths, but he does lean into it more and incorporate parts of it into his vigilante persona over time. i think this version of bruce is just generally very lonely under the surface. he tries to be normal in his daytime life and he's very bad at it - theft aside, in a certain sense being the cat(man? woman?) is his own break for freedom; he felt a need to plunge himself far into the deep end of what normal society calls a 'freak'. ...writing it out like this, we're probably lucky he didn't start killing people. fortunately batman isn't really that kind of guy in any universe.

meanwhile on the other side of the rails: ivy! her deal is slightly unformed right now due to the fact that the hatter and the joker also swap places in this au - so the hatter is a dangerous, evil mastermind intent on controlling gotham to suit their whims, and the joker is... just a harmless silly little guy. yeah. i don't have swap-hatter's exact personality ironed out yet, so detailing his and ivy's dynamic would be difficult, but i can say that while she is his loyal second-in-command at his table of advisors, she is also plotting against him. ivy is a consistent loner in both mainline cv and here, and while she doesn't have the same tumultuous, antagonistic, emotional relationship with him as harley does with the joker, she is also frankly not interested in being his number one until the end of time. she wants to do it herself and she wants to do it right. this is an ivy who, in lieu of her own world-altering gift, is scraping tooth and nail to successfully supersede the most powerful entity she can her her hands on. the hatter is blissfully unaware of this - we can't all be perfect.

harley, for her part, is very tame in comparison. she mirrors ivy's canonical backstory pretty closely: an esteemed scientist studying stem cell relations who was denied funding, mocked, and forced to experiment on herself to prove a point, unwittingly connecting herself to a worldwide hive-mind of plantlife. this version of harley, while still dressed as a scientist, is far more surface-level emotionally volatile than mainline ivy, more impulsive and irrational, and probably willing to lean much farther into the classic poison ivy reputation as a villainous seductress, to varying degrees of honesty and success. it takes ivy an incredible degree of patience and control to maintain the mental and physical balance she strikes with the green, and this version of harley has far less of both. she lets it use her body as a conduit of earthly rage and she lets the poison infect her skin and organs until mottled and decaying. she's not unhappy, but she's not exactly stable, either.

jonathan is a mysterious, faux-sleazy lounge singer who lost his left arm to a snake bite infection as a child and thereafter became obsessed with the symbolism of the balance of life via games, tricks and questions - winning and losing, birth and death, etc. the ouroboros is a common symbol in his theatrics. he possesses a certain degree of social confidence that the mainline jonathan has never quite been capable of - while he doesn't have the same fervent need for attention as edward, he takes a compulsory delight in the mental influence he achieves on small crowds and will employ many avenues to get ahold of it. he's certainly not outgoing: he keeps almost entirely to himself offstage, uninterested in fame outside of his show persona. unlike mainline jonathan who views the scarecrow as a genuine self-inflicted diety, this jon sees his persona as more of a mantle or responsibility that he must take on in order to discover new truths about the world. like his canon counterpart he is asexual and uninterested in sex, but i imagine that he has less qualms about leading people on as an act to get what he wants from them. he's not terribly famous in his singing career, but he's become a bit of an underground legend for his resolute 1920s-inspired style and occasional genuine debonair charm.

edward in comparison is not nearly as ritualistically compelled as mainline scarecrow, but he’s far less cagey about his own machinations and his mental relationship to them: he lives in a tricked-out barn somewhere on the far outskirts of gotham, and he spends his time as a propmaster creating elaborate saw-trap-esque haunted houses and escape rooms to invoke panic in his “guests”. he wanders the halls of his own houses along with the guests, repairing and tinkering, or just scaring the shit out of them. he also makes a genuine living by making and selling cosplay props and other related objects online; he's developed a bit of an internet presence through this channel, though he's not as fixated on it as the mainline riddler would be. he still craves spectacle and attention, but he's more of a "quality over quantity" guy according to his own standards and is rarely happy with the work he creates, hence the endless roundabout of creation and reinvention.

[digitalmyrths]

Do you have any thoughts on the Harper/Drew vowel renewal thing?

I most certainly do. One thing, I love that the detail continues to surprise me in this story. Like I definitely did not see a vow renewal coming but then in hindsight, yeah I can see it now.

So I see Harper desperately trying to go back to who she was pre-Phil. I mean Phil called it out in their 'breakup' convo. She's been through huge trauma. Harper is a runner by nature. When things get really really hard she runs. In this storyline she bailed to the US post Earthquake after admitting to Phil that she had feelings of some kind ("I couldn't handle the thought that I might lose you."). There are plenty of story examples of this trait from Harper through the years.

The will they won't they is how you create a longer-term narrative on a soap. Keeps it interesting and people hooked and I'm pretty much here for it.

The renewal though. So I think Harper is riddled by guilt and has been at varying levels throughout the whole affair. She was on the verge of telling Drew right before she was almost shot. That's trauma, Harper has trauma from childhood (and all the soap mayhem she's been through) so it's not a surprise she ran straight back to what she knows, ie Drew. What she's feeling now is a heightened sense of guilt most likely and the need to 'fix' the affair. The problem for Harper is that this is a temporary state and those pesky feelings she has for Phil are real. The other thing that happened right before this is that Harper got as close to telling Phil she's in love with her as we've seen so far and there is a repeating pattern happening.

She's crawled back into her cave of denial so far that she can't see herself right now, but she's heading for a good look in the mirror, I think. Do I think that renewal is gonna happen? Nope not really but let's see. I love the writing team behind this story, I'm hard to surprise lol. Part of me thinks it would be pretty cool if they connect the threads of Harper's story by having her leave Drew at the altar for Phil ❤️‍🔥

I don't know exactly how this is gonna play out but as I keep telling folks in the Discord, I'm not worried. I'm convinced I'm not on the Titanic and that we are in fact on the Love Boat with this ship (Phil is too damn good for Harper for that not to be real and they said it via Harper "It wouldn't have gone this long if it wasn't important"), but the waters are never smooth sailing.

Hang in there, it's good soapy drama.

[claudeleine]

i put all these thoughts into a ridiculous amount of tags of @prouvaireafterdark's post so kinda wanted to write it out too.

re: claudia needing to die... yeah. she had to die and she was always going to die. that's sadly her part in the story. it's a tragic one but it's an important one, for the characters but also for anne rice. for the show writers to have altered that would have made this a completely different story. as lynne mentioned in her post, claudia is based on anne rice's daughter michele, who died of cancer when she was only five (hence claudia in the book being turned at five and the girls sharing a birthday). louis was largely representative of herself, and lestat both her ideal self and her husband to an extent. though she would say that at the time of writing the book, she didn't intend on all the parallels, but she considered them to be an unintentional part of processing her grief. iwtv, at it's heart, is a story about grappling with loss, grief, guilt, faith, humanity, relationships, etc etc etc. and originally, claudia was younger and she did not kill her at the end of the story; she was giving michele immortality. but through rewriting and letting her die, taking louis through a journey of grief, it helped her to process michele's death. so in this sense, claudia was always going to have to die because she represents a real little girl who died. and it's tragic that there was never going to be any other path for her.

from another angle, though this overlaps a lot with the above, claudia is dead since the beginning/doomed by the narrative in a couple other ways. 1) as @xinakwans pointed out when we were discussing this week, claudia is literally dead from the moment she is introduced in the story - at the beginning of the interview. when the story is being shared with daniel, claudia has been dead, and the interview is largely louis doing what anne rice was doing by writing this book - expressing his grief and guilt, and his struggle with his existence after losing her, etc. but she's already gone at that point. she's dead from the start of the story. 2) when we meet claudia in the past, she's on the brink of death. in one version of the story, bc louis nearly drained her (but also plague) and in another, bc louis' actions helped kick off the riots that set claudia's home on fire - either way, he feels immense guilt for her being on death's doorstep. when lestat turns her (though i'm going to go ahead and assign the responsibility to them both bc depending on the version of the story, they both have varying levels of involvement), it's not about her and what's right or best for her. but they decide to "save" her - but ultimately all they're doing is postponing the inevitable and in a way, they're setting her up for a prolonged suffering both from being trapped in the body of a child (who is only treated like a child when it's convenient, in the case of the show's claudia) and the continued abuse at the hands of others. and again, with the same ending she would've had if they hadn't turned her. giving her immortality is more about them than her. they try to freeze her in time, the same way anne rice tried to freeze michele in time through claudia, but it doesn't fix anything really. and we watch claudia rage against her sitaution, similarly to how michele grew angry with her sickness and her parents (apologies, i know i read or heard this somewhere but for the life of me can't remember where) and ultimately she can't escape it, and her parents can't save her (they never did and they were never going to) and that's tragedy. especially as a reader/viewer, knowing where this is all going for her from the start, it's awful to watch a character try so hard to change things for herself and know it won't work. and the show making claudia black only adds to the trauma she endures and the difficulty she has when it comes to escaping.

the show really nails it in that claudia's story is coming full circle. birth by fire. death by fire. she enters the story the same way she leaves it, and that's the story that she was set up for. it's terrible and none of this should have happened her, but it did. there was no saving her bc she represents a child who died before she got to live and in every version of this story, she is already gone but the impact she had on everyone will haunt them forever.

[apex-academy]

Chapter 6: The Decay of Our Lives (#18)

Lunch is my first remotely decent excuse to leave Mahavir’s side. As much as I’d like to support my friend, watching him stew in his guilt sure isn’t helping me. Which means I’m not helping him much, either.

I confirm he’s staying in the Nurse’s Office, then trek back to the cafeteria. No Tsunyasha, at least.

“Oh, GREAT! JUST when I thought I might get some PEACE AND QUIET!”

“Right, I’m the threat to that here.”

I flee to the kitchen before he can manage a coherent response. No idea what I want to eat, though, and Mahavir certainly didn’t have suggestions. Time to stand blankly in front of an open refrigerator and hope it hikes up the young master’s electric bills.

Unfortunately, it’s also cold, so I grab some cheese and deli meat and shut the door before too long. After a few moments’ contemplation, I decide I’m not in the mood for any more meal-making decisions, so I’ll just make rollups of these. Bread’s overrated, anyway.

“...And so are condiments, I guess.”

Whatever. I’m sticking with it.

...And standing in the kitchen to eat so I don’t have to hear whatever Ichiriki’s raving about now. Is he just bored? Does he need some new colors of chalk for a little enrichment?

Well. I make fun of him, but I sure wouldn’t mind access to the art room again. No chance of that unless someone else uses it for a murder, though.

“...”

I finish my food and make Mahavir a plate. Can’t imagine him having any remnant of an appetite right now, but might as well try.

Unfortunately, the cafeteria’s still the only exit from here. 

Maybe I should run.

Or actually check on Ichiriki, I guess. Gotta admit, “Is Ichiriki doing okay” is not a thought that’s crossed my mind much. He’s just... He just is. I don’t know. He’s free to leave with the rest of us if he is one of us, but until then... Not my problem. Got enough of those already.

So, a fine brisk pace it is.

But when I step out, Ichiriki is no longer alone.

“...sure you wouldn’t be interested?”

“Of COURSE NOT! The FIRST one was bad ENOUGH!”

“But you’re curious, aren’t you?”

“No!”

“Just a little bit?”

“MAYBE!”

“........”

Think I’m good to just. Slink on out of here unnoticed.

“Ah, Miss Kogamino!”

Assuming Aidan wouldn’t notice something was a bad call on my part. “Do I want to know what I’m missing over here?”

“You ABSOLUTELY don’t!”

Not sure why I asked. Really striking out on logical behavior today.

“Not another weird dream, I hope?”

“No...”

“...Or at least not one of my own! There’s no telling where the writers got their inspiration, of course.”

Ichiriki mentioned “the first one”...

“Ah. The movie sequel.”

“.............”

More words are said, but I’m so distracted I can’t even tell who spoke. With current company, that’s really saying something.

Another dream... What was it that I...

“Hang on.”

I turn around to retrieve my little “young master deductions”—like you could really call them that—notebook and flip to the last filled pages, the letters askew and distorted from drowsiness and poor lighting.

Flashback dreams... Yeah, I sure do have those sometimes.

But not just me.

I wheel on Aidan and slap my hands on the table to catch myself, interrupting whatever I end up interrupting.

“Aidan! Your dream!”

The boys break off their conversation with widely varying levels of offended sputtering. Aidan adjusts his glasses.

“Er. The ‘professional air traffic controller’ one, or something else?”

“The one you told me about the other day.” Yesterday? I don’t even know anymore. 

“You woke up in a mirror of Lab Room A, right?”

“Within the dream? Yes, that sounds accurate.”

The table’s edge digs into my palms.

“What if that was real?”

He hums.

“I suppose it’s entirely possible. There must be a Lab Room B, after all, even if we’ve yet to be allowed inside.” 

“And I’m sure I would have been kept somewhere on-campus to minimize risk of discovery by unrelated parties.”

“Which is probably why we haven’t been let inside, right? If the young master’s cutting-edge revival technology, or whatever, was in there...”

I lean in further, much to Ichiriki’s offense. Don’t care.

“Were any of the other students there in the dream? Can you remember?”

“I hate to report that dreams are partially immune from my perfect memory skills here, but... Let’s see.”

Ichiriki grumbles to himself, but at least he’s not yelling over us. Probably doesn’t know what to say. I’ll take it.

“I can’t guarantee that the other fallen students were present.” 

“But I am certain that the life support systems and such did not take up the entirety of the room. There was space for other beds, or whatever you'd call the thing I was lying on.”

“So, if all of you were hooked up before that motive vote, and only before it, and if you’re the only one who was—then—!”

I think he responds, but I’m busy swinging my head around to check every corner of the room. Not here. Wasn’t in the kitchen. But if I’m right...

Dizzy, I try to remember to breathe as I charge into the hallway.

“MONOCHAP! I need to talk to you, now!”

[BACK] [NEXT]

[steelthroat]

for the fic ask game, because your concepts are so delightful:

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

or if you prefer

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

Oh hiiii and thank you 🥺💕

So yeah there are a couple of them:

The first one is a time travel/loop fix-it fic. So it would be based in the idw continuity and there are Megatron, Optimus and then also Rodimus stuck in their own time loops and they have to find a way to get out of them. The thing is they don't know how and they think they are alone, at some point they find out that in certain specific moments there are some "windows" in which their time loops meet and they can interact and make meaningful decisions that change the timeline. At some point there's also time travel involved because of their guilt and so they say "hey we're already stuck why Don't we try to go back in time and stop everything bad from ever happening?" And when I say everything I say literally everything, so Brainstorm is involved (and the rest of the science team lol). This is my most ambitious project, but it would require me to reread all the idw continuity and crossovers, take notes of a fuckton of things and then develop my plot while also not making it boring/prevedible/unrealistic\out of character. So yeah if I'll ever do this it won't be now because I definitely lack the time, the knowledge, and the maturity.

This one I started writing it a year ago and stopped because it was a big project and I needed to develop it more. So it's a new continuity, takes inspiration from the idw one regarding the society but with differences and the characters are in different settings kind of. So it would be a series retelling the story of how the war/revolution started and ended but from different points of view and different writing styles varying from character to character. So yeah we're going psychological/thriller/unreliable narrators. I think I can do this one, not now but one day it must be done.

Another new continuity this time taking inspiration from G2, very dramatic, but fun, not as big as the other two but still a multichapter. Also knowing myself and the fact that the characters gain their free will and things don't go according to plan when I write I feel like it would become big.

Okay, so this one is set in the bayverse continuity. It's a hate-mail to the movies, really. I'm gonna take the concepts I liked more and use them, I'll know I'll have done a good job if you feel the misanthropy-levels rising while reading. I also think I can do this one, it shouldn't be too long (?) Like idk it's a rewriting of the movies, basically.

Peace time/post war but Optimus and Megatron's mental health is in... dire state

Gladiator Optimus Au! I WILL do this one but I'm still deciding how.

Okkk now onto the dialogue... let's see:

From: Task failed successfully

"So what about Autobots? Can we interface with them?" Vortex asked

Optimus shifted uneasily at the question "I- ahm... If there's consent involved- ah. Ahem, what is Lord Megatron's policy regarding cross-factional ah- interpersonal relationships?" he looked at Megatron, who was now frowning at Vortex... he had been frowning the entire time. Everyone turned towards him eagerly waiting for an answer.

"If anyone decides to act that recklessly, at least be smart enough to keep quiet about it, and if you get hurt, and I get to hear about it, then I'm going to finish the work said Autobot started," Megatron was now glaring at the mechs with poorly hidden disgust and disappointment, his stance was clear.

Optimus cleared his vocalizer. "Please, follow Lord Megatron's orders, but if something happens to you, go to a medic or come to me"

[artflameball]

What if I made a Benrey timeline thing and was sobbing the whole time

[ID: Five colored drawings of Benrey over the years. Each drawing is next to a bunch of bullet points listing off headcanons for that period of time.

This design of Benrey has pale skin, upside-down hearts on his cheeks, long black nails, pointy elf ears, a small scar on his upper lip, and long, fluffy black-blue hair with a heart ahoge. His eyes change color based on his stress level - they're blue if he's okay or happy, but turn yellow if he's stressed or not feeling good.

The first drawing is Benrey when he's a test subject for Black Mesa. He looks like he's somewhere around three to five years old. He's wearing an oversized hospital gown - the sleeves are too big and don't show his hands. He isn't wearing any shoes. You can see a few of his scars, which look fresh. His pointy ears are drooped. The shadow under his eyes is completely black. He's glancing around nervously, pupils slitted, eyes yellow. He looks scared.

The bullet points beside him read:

Pictured: actual size

Found on Xen when he was like two or three in human years and brought to Black Mesa

Was experimented on to figure out his healing abilities, but they couldn't be replicated in humans

Experiments continued for Definitely Scientifically Justified Reasons Not At All Just The Scientists Torturing Him To Get All Their Anger Out

"I made breakthroughs in science!" "You fucked up a perfectly good child is what you did. Look at him, he's got trauma."

Got the mindset that he's inherently evil hammered into his brain

Left ONCE when he was five and met seven year old Gordon, but was captured again pretty quickly

Managed to escape with the help of Tommy when he was about 21-22

This period of his life lasts about 20 years

The second drawing is Benrey when he's a security guard, somewhere in his early 20s. He's wearing the security guard outfit - helmet, vest, blue button-up shirt, tie, boots, gun holster - and his hair is floofing out of the helmet. He's wearing fingerless gloves as well. He's leaning backwards a bit, hands balled into fists, arms by his side, a bit tense, eyes blue but tinged with yellow at the edges.

The bullet points beside him read:

wadda hell... gay lil security guard

Benrey came back to Black Mesa a few months after escaping, working as a security guard because he liked them and they were nice to him (they weren't as bad as the scientists)

Honestly I don't have a lot to say here about specifically him being a guard

It was after getting out of experiments that he discovered and absolutely fell in love with video games. He has them all. He has played every video game in the ever.

He loves just standing around being strange and offputting

He has pierced ears! You cannot see them but

Left Black Mesa when he was 25 due to The Incident (the rescas lol)

This period of his life lasts about 3-4 years

The third drawing is Benrey post-Xen. He's a complete wreck. He's still in the security guard outfit, minus the vest, tie, and helmet, but it's torn up and stained with his purple blood. The sketch layer (which is half transparent) is on top of the color layer, conveying a sense of messiness. His hair is a mess, he's lost a lot of weight, his eyes are yellow, pupils dilated from numbness, the shadow under his eyes completely black. He looks foggy, distant, tired, just really fucked up.

The bullet points beside him read:

...You sacrifice yourself to save your best friends because you think you're an inherently evil monster and just be mentally fine afterwards.

So yeah, after Xen Benrey's... really not doing good. Drowning in guilt over everything, having all his worst thoughts about himself basically confirmed, and just mentally fucked in every way, Benrey just spirals really bad after respawning.

Where exactly he is after respawning varies depending on the fic. However he definitely falls into a really bad depression spiral after he gets out of Black Mesa and kinda isolates himself.

He is still wearing the guard uniform minus the vest and there is symbolism

This period of his life lasts for a number of months before the Science Team (probably Gordon) finds him. unless he respawns closer to the team in which case it lasts like a month or two at most

The fourth drawing is Benrey some time later. His hair is less messy, he's gained some weight, the shadow under his eyes is somewhat lighter, and his eyes are blue now. He's wearing brown pants, a black hoodie, a dark blue button-up, and a blue thigh strap. He looks like significantly less of a wreck than before.

The bullet points beside him read:

Get dragged out of your depression IDIOT

So the Science Team find him and start making him get better by force lol

He wears button ups under hoodies for a while due to nostalgia from Black Mesa

He STARTS unlearning the mindset of "I'm inherently evil," and starts learning to Not see people as inherently good because he likes them, but. He isn't there yet and won't be for a long long while. It's a slow process

He ALSO starts learning that Black Mesa torturing him was Bad Actually and it traumatized him a bit <\3

Xen drained a LOT of his energy and powers. He's probably never gonna be at 100% in terms of powers ever again, but that's ok

The fifth and last drawing is Benrey, a year or so post-Rescas. He's doing a lot better, and you can tell. He's wearing a blue chullo with an orange puffball on top and pink strings. His hair's poking out of the chullo. He has a dark blue hoodie with a rainbow PlayStation logo, pale blueish sweatpants, a pink thigh strap, and extremely colorful, messy, bright socks. He's gained a lot more weight, his eyes are blue and pupils dilated, the shadow under his eyes significantly lessened. He looks relaxed, and there's a smile on his face, his nostrils slightly flared (which they do that when he smiles). He looks genuinely happy.

The bullet points beside him read:

Live footage of me sobbing while drawing this because he looks so content and happy

This is about a year and a half or so after the Rescas? Maybe two years?

Actually in therapy (and maybe he starts taking antidepressants? idk)

He's doing a LOT better here than he was at any point before. Like even when he was a guard, if the scientists found out it was him they'd put him back into tests so there was that stress, plus he hadn't unlearned his toxic mindsets yet

His mental state still isn't perfect, he's still not There, the bad days are still bad, but holy shit he's doing so much better

probably dating gordon around here because fuck you lol

He always wear the most eyebleedingly colorful socks

I'm sorry this drawing makes me very happy and I'm crying again what the hell he gets to be happy!!!

Either he starts a justin.TV or he works at just Some Job and annoys people. If he ever comes face to face with a Karen they're so fucked he's so annoying eats him

Maybe even both, by day he annoys assholes into leaving, and by night he plays viddy games

End ID.]

Close ups under the cut

Not transcribing these because the transcript above already describes the contents, but I did add alt text

[hermitdrabbles56]

!

I would love to hear about disguises and balls, just another beast, and troll hunters.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) also if u want someone to rubber duck with, I'm open!

I have no idea what rubber ducking is but whatever it is absolutely!!And same too you! So here we go!

Starting off with Disguises and Balls!!

It's inspired by this amazing post right here

Currently the plot is that there was an assassination attempt on Dot and the chain has manged to track down the origin of the assassin and have to sneak into a ball to get more information and either find the assassin or whoever hired them.

Legend is absolutely unhinged in this fic, full feral, and he's devised the perfect elaborate plan that involves him and Twilight dressing up and going to the ball because they can pull it off discreetly by disguising themselves as a couple that had been invited but were most definitely never going to show.

The fic is basically my excuse to let Twilight feel pretty while still having a fun plot. Also sort of kind of me playing around with gerudo Twilight in a way.

"Okay…so that's all worked out but we still don't know who to send in, let alone who can pretend to be this Adalhard fellow." Sky says as he rocks on his heels where he's crouched, still peering over the maps as he does. 

"Yes we do, in fact we have the perfect person." Legend states with a grin.

"Really?" Wars says skeptically. 

"Yes really." 

"One of us is perfectly capable  of playing an exotic gerudo lookin…tan..skinned redhead…" 

Warriors voice slowly tapers into realization as he and the rest of the group follow Legends' smug gaze to where it's settled. His eyes locked onto Twilight who has returned his focus to diligently fixing Times chainmail. The big guy being completely oblivious to their conclusions. 

"Yeah…yeah he would fit perfectly." Four manages as he blinks a bit. 

"Who would fit?" Twilight murmurs, still not looking up as carefully links the complicated metal loops together. 

"You would." Legend states in a playful yet matter of fact tone. 

"Hehe, very funny." Twilight chuckles as he keeps working. Legends words taking a moment to actually register to him before a look of confusion hits him. Finally looking up and over to the eight pairs of eyes now watching, some shocked, some excited, and some unreadable. "Wait what?" 

"You, you make the cut and you're going in there as Heir Adalhard." Legend says  

"No the fuck I am not!" Twilight blurts out as he gets a somewhat panicked look on his face. 

Next! Just Another Beast

This one is my friendly fire au. It's got the first chapter out and oh boy does it get worse from there.

Wr0ng and Neutral have both heard how cursed its going to get

It's absolutely fucked

Ummmmmmm

Lemme just bullet point a few things

The next few chapters is them just trying to find and catch up to Twilight while things rapidly go down hill, but they aren't the only ones looking for him.

Dink is also in the caves and takes an interest in Twilight because of the shadow magic.

After all the cave business and they've sorted everything out, they get a brief respite at the ranch

After the ranch Twilight starts to act a little weird and more and more unlike himself. Standoffish, snappy, even mean and uncaring. followed by bouts of confusion sorrow and guilt that just worsen as time goes on.

Potions stashes go missing, weapons start malfunctioning and falling apart or just straight up go missing.

Worst of all monster packs with mini boss level beasts keep ambushing them all at random points in the night and Twilight is almost always strangely absent

>:3 its a very fun one that I hope to get back into soon. But it's also very vary dark and absolutely horrific.

Here's a little of what I do have of the second chapter

"...What the fuck just happened?" The Sailor finally pipes in. "Seriously what the actual fuck just happened I turned around and Hyrule was on the ground and Legend was chasing Rancher like a mad man!? What fucking gives!" 

"Wind…just take a deep breath I'm sure there's-" 

"You're sure there's what old man?!" Legend snaps. "A fucking explanation that's better than what happened? Rancher just nearly cut Hyrule in half! Don't you dare try and treat him like an innocent teacher's pet right now." 

Time shoots a harsh glare towards Legend as a look of horror crosses Wind's face.

And finally!! Troll hunters Again is just a troll hunters fic!

It takes place after the movie as horrifyingly cringe as it was it left for some lovely angst potential.

Jim goes back in time, and redoes things but this time lets Toby have the adventure of being the troll hunter. He's there with him every step of the way and goes through every possible extent that he can to make sure History won't repeat itself.

Couple key points I've established:

He still has the amulet Krel made but only uses it in extreme emergencies until later on. It allows him to travel through time in small doses.

Jim remembers absolutely everything and is understandably a little fucked up because of it and boy does he sound confusing sometimes

Toby gets his hammer sooner >:3, come on he's war hammer he's gotta have his hammer. Jim rigs the system so he gets it.

It's kind of a fic/chat fic because of how often these teenagers use their phones and Gods I need to binge watch tales of Arcadia again and get back into it so I can work on this fic because a love it alot. So many interactions go differently but all of the best relationships are still there and GAH!! HHHHH

Here's a clip

It's about and hour and half later that he makes his way back over to Toby's. The sky now completely dark as he climbs the steps to Toby's door. Listening quietly to the door for a brief moment. 

"This! Is the most sacred of mantles, and honor to have bestowed upon you. Now would you Please Stop Throwing things at us!" That familiar educational tone sounds all too familiar along with what sounds like canned goods hitting the wall. 

"Hell no! Hey hey back up big guyaaAAAA!!!" 

"Got you." 

Jim quietly opens and closes the door before making his way silently across the floor boards. Taking a brief moment to collect himself for the upcoming act before stepping to where he can actually see them and be seen. 

"What in the world!?" He exclaims loudly to draw their attention putting on his best look of shock and confusion. 

Arrrg currently has a hold of Toby, though the teen is upside down. The big gentle giant looks at Blinky who is beginning to freak out now. 

"Arrrg! This is precisely why I said you should keep watch!" Blink says in a panic. 

"Oops..sorry." Arrrg says with a small frown. 

"Put me down, put me down!" Toby shouts as he wiggles around until the big guy lets him go. Followed by Toby crawling quickly across the room until he can hide behind Jim. "These crazy monsters came out of nowhere!"

"How dare you, we are not monsters. We are peaceful trolls!" Blinky says in an offended tone. 

"Trolls?!" Toby exclaims. 

 "Yes.." Arrrg says with a nod. 

"Like...hobbit level die in the sunlight trolls or Hilda level sentient rocks that go dormant during daylight?" Toby asks as he slightly steps to the side of Jim but is still mostly behind him. 

"Ah...well..some of both I suppose?" Blinky says in a confused tone. "What is a Hobbit and a Hilda?" 

"Hobbit is a movie, Hilda is a cartoon...is it like..living stone but can't go in sunlight..?" Jim 'guesses' to move the topic along before looking to Toby. "Why are you using me as a human shield?" 

"You were dumb enough to challenge Steve you may be a noodle but your more danger built than me!" Toby states causing Jim to roll his eyes a bit.

[silverjetsystm]

❤︎

send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours. | Accepting

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words [but we're trying anyway].

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend. / we're married.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them. / 'i didn't know she was beautiful & i feel responsible for her father's death. i'm screwed.'

current impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

Marc intended to be around Layla once to apologize for his role in her father's death. That didn't take. Instead, he pushed the guilt down deep with the light that entered his heart through her. He's not sure what exactly he's feeling until Frenchie's teasing him about Love.

(As in, the "I think I'm in love" is not a thought but a feeling he lacked words for). Despite all the nos (her father, he's too old, she deserves better) he told himself, he was disarmed by her yes (agreeing to marry him).

Steven was able to identify that he was also in love early. He's less experienced than Marc or Jake but he's more in tune with his emotions and what they represent. I think partly because he's got a varied media diet (books, old films, etc.).

One of the reasons why Steven may have lost his memory around Elias' death was because he pushed so hard for Marc to not divorce her. He's the most honest and stubborn of the three (probably to a fault).

Jake is the most down to earth of the three of them. He's not a bundle of tension like Marc, nor anxious like Steven. He takes things and people as they are. It felt right to fall for her.

[auspex]

@devil-of-dagoth in response to an ask said:

the whole secrecy and "what they don't know can't hurt them" mindset is peak Tremere behavior and also what a way 2 deal with feeding guilt<3 i do have to ask tho.. sampson's trauma?? also. oh lort. a lineage like that's bound to give him problems, has he ever been in trouble w people that want to get to his sire thru him?

-

Sampson's Trauma is literally a whole ass thing. Ok you ready for an INFO DUMP ? Literal content warning for abusive relationships, drug addiction, sexual assault, fr don't read it if these topics will upset you.

Sampson was Mark's boyfriend. At some point a year or two after they started dating, Sampson got blood bound to a vampire named Vic. Vic was fucking evil. At first Sampson was just made to spy on Mark and relay information to Vic, and got his mind wiped a LOT. but then Vic started getting power hungry and lazy. he used Sampson as a blood doll and started a bsically super fucked up abusive relationship with him; sampson obviously felt like he loved him due to the blood bond but obviously he was being assaulted and, since he didn't know anything about kindred society still, was very confuesd, and still had his memory wiped all the time. it was really really really awful for him.

He wasn't telling mark wtf was going on. This went on for a year, at least, in varying levels. His memory is fuzzy ( :c ) so neither mark nor sampson are sure how long. Point is, one day mark got fed up w the lies so followed sampson. He saw sampson getting fed on from Vic. Thats when Mark got kidnapped for a month as Julius embraced him and did other weird shit.

Well from Sampson's perspective Mark disappeared, and Vic was killed for breaking the masquerade. The blood bond was thus traumatically broken, the one person who he'd consider going to about this disappeared on him, and ... yea things were bad. He released into his drug addiction to heroin, and at some point during the month Mark was gone, he lost his job, and ended up on the streets.

Mark rescued him from a trap house that was actually a Sabbat drug ring where they got blood from hopeless addicts in exchange for blood. yeah. Anywya i could continue the story, but that answers the ask about how Sampson's trauma relates to Mark: Sampson not remembering the shit that happened to him, still didn't make it less awful.

-

As for Julius. YEA LOTS OF PEOPLE HATE MARK FOR HIS SIRE. ACTUALLY THE TREMERE PRIMOGEN/REGEANT OF THE AREA FUCKING HATES JULIUS A LOT. AND THEREFORE HATES MARK. His name his Gaius. I love Gaius. Gaius does not love Mark.

And a lot of other kindred too.... its literally such a huge thing alksdjfdskj Mark gets special treatment sometimes tho because of it, for example he doesn't have to do as much grunt work for the chantry and has more freedom. But some ppl hate him for that too... so yeah.

[thorntonkrell-blog-blog]

What am I thinking?

I'm thinking a thought. If it's a complete thought, I can construct a sentence even if it contains a conditional clause. Bingo.

What is an incomplete thought? We don't think in sentences. Uh huh.

Once upon a time, I was hired by Telephila to write the scripts for their fundraisers. I wrote the script in sentences. Some people complained because they weren't used to speaking in sentences more accustomed to grasping at the incomplete sentences that we like to believe are thoughts.

Little did they suspect how much time that I had been thinking about sentences and thought.

I'm a writer.

I've thought a few thoughts about thought and tried to complete them in the form of sentences. Thought, also known as thinking or cognition, is a higher-level mental process that involves processing, organizing, and interpreting information received from sensations, memories, and internal mental processes. It is the mental activity that allows us to make sense of sensory information, generate ideas, memories and associations to form concepts and beliefs. Thought involves using language, logic, creativity, and problem-solving abilities to understand and interact with the world.

How does a thought differ from an intuition or a feeling? Intuition is a subconscious process of understanding or knowing something without the need for conscious reasoning. It's often described as a "gut feeling" or a deep-seated sense of knowing that arises spontaneously. Intuition can be seen as a form of insight or instinctive understanding that comes from accumulated experiences, knowledge, and patterns that our brain has learned over time. It is quick and automatic. It often operates without conscious awareness and can be difficult to explain or articulate logically. Intuition can sometimes lead to accurate and insightful judgments but can also be influenced by biases or emotional states.

Feeling, on the other hand, refers to the emotional aspect of human experience. Emotions are conscious experiences that arise in response to various stimuli, situations, or thoughts. Unlike intuition, feelings are conscious experiences and can be more directly tied to specific triggers or events. Emotions, like thought, are conscious experiences often tied to specific events or stimuli. Emotions can be intense and have varying degrees of intensity and can be influenced by both internal and external factors.

For example If we're thinking about chocolate, we may be thinking of a particular chocolate candy bar, perhaps a Clark Bar. We may be thinking about how they are made or what the package looks like. We don't have any Clark Bars, but we've got some brownies. Wait a minute…

I just consumed two brownies. I feel guilty. I only wanted one. Actually, I didn't even want one until I started writing about Clark bars then thinking about chocolate. Before I knew it, I was on the second brownie. So goddamned fast.

What happened?

Oh yeah. I was consciously thinking about thinking when my unconscious lifted me out of my chair and into the kitchen. Now, I'm depressed. Consciously.

Stay tuned for more thinking.

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I kept replaying the second brownie over and over. I kept analyzing the pros and cons of eating that brownie, which involved thoughts about its taste, potential pleasure, and how it might affect my health. I kept trying to rationalize my decision, finding reasons to justify my action while at the same time wondering about my willpower or lack thereof.

Then the guilt. Guilt is a feeling more than a thought. I went against my dietary plans and did so knowingly and willingly. Soon, I was contemplating the paradoxical, back-and-forth conflict between immediate gratification and long-term dietary goals.

I wondered if my irresistible desire for the second brownie was an instinct or an intuition or just another desire/temptation caused by my writing about chocolate in the first place.

Intuition is the ability to understand or perceive something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning or logical analysis, which often involves a gut feeling or an inner sense of knowing. Intuition can be based on past experiences, knowledge, or subconscious processing of information. It's a hunch that drives decision-making without relying on explicit evidence. My desire for the brownie was a gut feeling both literally and figuratively. My stomach actually growled.

Temptation refers to the urge or desire to engage in an action or behavior that is usually considered pleasurable, enjoyable, or satisfying but may not be in my best interest or aligned with my values. Temptation often involves a conflict between short-term gratification and long-term consequences. It can be driven by emotions, impulses, or external stimuli. For instance, the temptation to eat a delicious but unhealthy dessert when trying to maintain a balanced diet represents a conflict between the immediate pleasure of the taste and the long-term goal of staying healthy.

I can understand the first brownie, but the second one is a brownie of a different color.

Desire is a strong feeling of wanting or craving something, often associated with positive outcomes or emotions. It can be based on personal preferences, goals, or aspirations. Desire can be driven by various factors, including personal values, societal influences, and individual needs. Intuition is a subconscious perception or understanding without explicit reasoning. Temptation involves the urge to indulge in something pleasurable despite potential negative consequences, and desire is a strong feeling of wanting something that may be in line with one's values and goals. While they are distinct, they can sometimes interact and influence each other in decision-making and behavior.

Temptation is not a form of intuition. They are separate and distinct psychological phenomena. As mentioned earlier, intuition is the ability to understand or perceive something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning or logical analysis. It often involves a gut feeling or an inner sense of knowing. Intuition can be based on past experiences, knowledge, or subconscious processing of information.

On the other hand, temptation refers to the urge or desire to engage in an action that is considered pleasurable, enjoyable, or satisfying but may not be in my best interest or aligned with my values. Temptation is typically driven by emotions, impulses, or external stimuli, and it involves a conflict between short-term gratification and long-term consequences.

Intuition and temptation are fundamentally different processes. Intuition is a kind of inner guidance that helps with decision-making and understanding situations without explicit reasoning, while temptation is a struggle between immediate desires and long-term goals. While both intuition and temptation can influence human behavior, they operate on different principles and mechanisms.

I was thinking about thinking and writing about chocolate at the same time, finding complete thoughts and punctuation along the way. Then suddenly, I wanted some chocolate. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a brownie…then another. I returned to my workplace and felt guilty.

The initial desire for chocolate was a strong feeling of wanting to consume something pleasurable. When I ate that first brownie, I experienced an emotionally rewarding sense of satisfaction. After indulging in the first brownie, I must have had thoughts that justified eating the second one, such as "One more won't hurt" or "I'll eat healthy later to compensate." My thoughts might have weighed the immediate pleasure of eating the brownies against the potential consequence of feeling guilty afterward. I can't say for sure because I had the second brownie in my mouth very quickly after a split second of hesitation.

The transaction involving chocolate consumption was a complex interplay of feelings, thoughts, and intuitions. The initial desire and craving were feelings that sparked the transaction, while thoughts about pleasure, justification, and potential consequences influenced my decision to indulge. Intuition might have influenced my overall inclination towards chocolate and possibly even provided a sense of hesitation when considering the second brownie.

After indulging, the feeling of guilt emerged, likely triggered by the awareness of going against personal values, leading to self-critical thoughts. The whole creative and dietary adventure worked its way into my subconscious when I finally fell asleep.

When I awoke, I intuitively headed to my keyboard and started thinking about what I had thought and trying to find the words to describe it all, which I might have accomplished. It's 98 degrees outside. I'm done.

[normystical]

Mostly rambling nonsense here because I feel like it... but if you can tolerate that, maybe this could be useful? idk.

I think I've found a way to reason your way out of fear. It works for rational fears, however, and not so much at all for irrational fears. That's right, you can rationalize your way through rational fears.

See, the thing is, most people stop reasoning at "because The Bad Thing will happen," and an "I don't know" warrants further hounding. That simply does not work. Rather, it should be the other way around.

"WHY am I scared of The Bad Thing happening?"

I used to be afraid of bothering bees or wasps, but it's significantly diminished. Initially, it seemed more simple. I was in a bad headspace, frankly. "Bee stings cannot hurt any more than my mental pain does every day, so there is no reason to be afraid." Comparing it to pain I have truly experienced perhaps may help a bit, but what I hadn't realized was that it went a bit deeper than that.

With that specific example in place, I'll repeat myself now. The typical thought process is

Why am I scared to bother the bees? —> Because I might get stung.

or maybe even, a step further,

Why am I afraid to get stung? —> Because it will hurt.

It seems that most people fail to realize, you can ask further.

Why am I afraid of being hurt?

That opens up a ton of possible questions, actually.

How much would that hurt?

Can I handle that pain?

Would it be worse than the anxiety I'm feeling about it now?

Will it kill me?

Note, however, if it didn't contribute to your fear before, then, if possible, don't allow it to do so afterward.

I have never been stung. I do not know if I have any allergies. That was never a concern for me, though. I assumed I had zero allergies. I know others are incapable, and that's valid, but me, I can kind of just push certain concerns into the back of my mind and forget it.

I had another example in mind.

I'm a bit worried when it comes to food sometimes. I try and make sure it's good and not expired. I seem to forget to ask myself, though:

What will happen if it IS expired?

(I might get sick.)

What will happen if I get sick?

(Probably throw up?)

Am I afraid of doing that?

(Me, no. I can't handle when others do it, but for me it's just... uncomfortable.)

Wait, is anyone else around to witness this? Will they...?

(No... I'm alone. I'm safe.)

See, I'm emetophobic. Well, self-diagnosed? I'm not 100% sure, but no matter what, I just REALLLLYY don't want to witness that. Ever.

I believe that, in reasoning this way,

I don't know.

could be extended to

I don't know. I guess it's visceral.

Some fears just can't be reasoned with.

I'm not afraid of getting sick. I'm not afraid of getting my papers or my outfit ruined. I'm just... afraid.

And you know what?

That's good enough reason to be afraid.

Here's another way to look at it.

Everything good, bad... reasons why we avoid things, go toward them, fear them, reason for or against them... hell, the sensation of pain itself... it's all just feelings, is it not?

Even on a more existential level, technically even just existing, we do it because of feelings. Even if you resent life, well, it's permanent and risky to... you know.

That being said... isn't fear itself technically a form of pain?

So, another way to word those rationalizating questions is...

How bad would this feel to me?

When it comes to phobias, you could say that you're afraid to be in fear.

In fact, that's probably essentially what it is, anyway.

All forms of pain do play a role in this.

Physical... emotional... not even just that, but different forms of emotional pain, too.

Anger, fear, humiliation, misery, guilt. Whichever ones are easiest to bear varies from person to person. But, like a headache or a scratch, it is pain.

The discomfort from a bee sting? Yeah, I could handle that.

The discomfort from throwing up? I can handle it, but I'd prefer not to if possible.

The discomfort from my phobia being triggered? I doubt I could. I have no idea how I'd react, but that's because I haven't been triggered full-on in quite a while. And I do not want to find out.

[the-firebird69]

These are people that are weak and incoherent most the time and can't think straight not that week but really they are not that bright and their bodies are not that strong. Now private OTC and risperdal combined are horrible they are poisonous and it is a deadly slow poison and they did it to my son and he is very angry and the ones who did it are the clones and they had John remillard and son do it and they had BG and wife do it and in varying degrees of guilt because Trump and son knew but their whole force is getting wiped out and that's the price and BG hardly had one and he was forced into it and they were prescribing it over and over and then some they would stop it they found out that they can't stop prescribing you they tried doing what our son said he said do we need to go over the counter and get it I can't prescribe it for you and they said no no I need a prescription it's different medicine and it said no I can't do that anymore and then they start to hear us all sorts of s*** from them since poison go and get yourself some smart water stay up after you eat a few hours sitting on have some mindfulness it's not her fault it's poison so it's pushing it all over the world so she stopped and listen and said I have to wait and the guy came in and he was still a b**** and he said I can't stand it my stomach's burning up so she gave me the concoction he said what is this he said it reduces acid but you have to take it about an hour after you eat and don't take it before you eat and so you start doing it at work so she's prescribing it and she got a lot of trouble and it's right in here and it's really Ray. And tell me after is going to pay tons of people see that it's true that's what these people are fighting to get to after the comet empire ship and yeah each hole has one that's true. There's a lot of stuff going on and this is important information these people are fighting for the lives and they can't stop these clones they start a war with them cuz they figured out it's them these things are all proof but people get into a lot of trouble like Trump but he's been giving our son trouble for a long time it's because he's very evil to his people and to ours and to the clones we're going to let it fly and let the chips fall later they might but BG and his wife have been trying to make up for it they help get him the medicine the magnesium and it's very dangerous but they want to dance to survive and a lot of people are helping and it's really the side effect they needed and John remillard himself did a movie side effects and it didn't help him and you can't handle most of what he does but they've been trying to do to do this kind of stuff for a long time cuz they need him alive these people poison the crap out of them okay there's too much poisoning and his whole body and it's coming out slowly and shortly it's going to come out fast when you grow it pushes it out and it will be painful but he's going to hydrate and blow it out of there and it's going to be coming out and it will mess up his diet a little and he's going to take the medicine and that's going to happen and the oxygen levels are up to about 28 at night sometimes and 25 and in the morning and that's probably from 4:00 a.m. until 7:00 a.m. it's only 3 hours and all day long it goes back down to 17 or 18 that's not good it's too low it takes too long to oxygenate you have to go out to the water and sit there for an hour it's difficult and you have to take too many vitamins and we know that so we're going to try and help him but for real this is what's going on

The movie is about to begin yeah they're hours ahead, it's around 9 hours or so. It's really 10 hours where they are and that's a head so 12 hours would be 8:30 a.m. and it's 6:30 a.m. now because it's 10:00 and it's really good morning over there so they miss the night time but Kessel is in Saudi Arabia and it's still night time there and that's only about 7 hours ahead so it's about 3:00 a.m. and if it was tonight it'll be right around now he says because it's morning over with Luke was there and it's true too they go all the way to Tunisia to try and escape it and they are fighting at that base very harshly and it's tons of people now a huge War mostly they're fighting Trump yes and they're going after a very hard but they're fighting over Kessel. And the fighting is intensifying and huge bombs are seen and disabled and the detonator goes off it's a giant disgusting mess tons of death probably about 400 octillion an hour about 3 hours ago right now it's like 4,000 octillion an hour that's a lot of people and there's a lot of death there and it's increasing rapidly from our records we hear about 20 million octillion die and then they hit it and we think it's tonight it's going up there's huge armies about 2 to 4 million octillion from four directions just sending on that area Saudi Arabia that is and there's more coming

Thor Freya

[sour--disposition]

Behind His Back

-

harry lewis x fem!reader

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please see my pinned post for masterlists/request info :)

requested: Hello, could you do something where reader is best mates with cal and he brings her to shoots and in vids and such and her and Harry are kinda together but no one knows then someone accidentally outs them thanks !! 🙌🏻

Yours and Cal’s laughter reached the spot that the other guys had picked for filming long before the two of you did, poking and chasing each other as you barrelled through the doors. Cal was joining in on some game that they were filming for moresidemen and he’d dragged you along so you could sit off camera and poke fun at all eight of them.

As soon as you’d fallen into the venue, a bright smile had stretched across Harry’s face. Seeing you as happy and full of life as you were made him impossibly happy, as soppy as it sounded. All he wanted was to wander over and pull you into his arms, maybe surprise you so you let out that funny squeal you did whenever she shocked you.

But he couldn’t.

Although he’d never said it, it was sort of an unwritten rule of Cal’s that you were off limits for any of his friends. Maybe that made it all the more exciting, sneaking around behind your best friend’s back. You knew that it wouldn’t end well, it would either end in heartbreak between you and Harry or anger from Cal. Neither was an outcome you wanted, but one of them was bound to be inevitable.

Ethan had noticed Harry staring at you and was prepared to embarrass his best friend, not knowing that he was one of the only people that knew the truth about yours and Harry’s relationship. “Gonna go give your girlfriend a smooch, Bog?”, Ethan asked, grin as bright as ever as he shoved Harry playfully in your direction.

You and Harry both froze, eyes wide in surprise and fear. The humour drained out of Ethan’s face as he watched yours and Harry’s reactions and a tense atmosphere immediately fell over the group. Even the camera crew looked awkward.

You could see Harry desperately trying to conjure up some sort of excuse for what Ethan had just said. Ethan looked like he would do just about anything to retract his words. But what was said was said and you just had to deal with the consequences.

“What the fuck is he on about?”, Cal asked, voice harsh and angry. His eyes were fixed on Harry, practically pinning him to the spot. “Harry. What the fuck is Ethan on about?”.

“Look, mate-”, Harry started, words getting caught in his throat.

“How could you?”, Freezy spat, voice like venom. He turned to you, looking at you like you’d just taken a knife to his back. “And you?”.

“Don’t be mad at her, Cal”, Harry pleaded, voice desperate.

“I’ll be mad at whoever the fuck I wanna be mad at!”, Cal shouted, making Harry jump and sending a wave of anger coursing through your veins.

“You know what, no”, you started, leaving Cal’s side of the room and walking to stand in between the two of them. “You have no right to be mad. We’re adults. We don’t answer to you. I don’t answer to you”, you stressed.

You could tell that the others in the room had no idea what to do. Guilt was written all over Ethan’s face and varying levels of worry and awkwardness seemed to be spread throughout the rest of the guys. Everyone was following the discussion like a ball in a tennis match.

“I live with him and you’re my best friend, I’m kind of involved in this!”, Cal exclaimed. You mumbled something under your breath that neither Cal or Harry heard, but it only seemed to antagonise Cal more. “What?”, he demanded.

“I’m just saying, last time I checked, it’s not you sneaking me into your apartment, but whatever”, you commented casually.

“Y/N”, Harry warned from behind you, taking a few steps closer to you.

“I’m not going to pick between my best friend and my boyfriend!”, you cemented. “If you’re going to make me pick, you’re making the decision for me”, you told Cal, a finger pointed towards him. “And it won’t go in your favour”, you cautioned.

“You’d pick Harry over me?”, Cal asked, looking genuinely offended. “I’ve known you since we were 12”, he reminded you.

“I love him”, you said, voice suddenly small and shy. “And if you don’t want any part of that, then I don’t know what to tell you”, you shrugged before turning your back and walking out of the venue.

Harry stood stock still. Everything in his body was telling him to chase after you, tell you that he felt the same way, but he couldn’t get his body to move. The shock of Cal finding out and then you telling everyone that you loved him, it left him paralysed.

“Is anyone gonna go after her?”, Vik asked, eyes tearing between Harry and Cal.

“I’ll go”, Harry and Freezy said at the same time.

“She won’t wanna see you right now, mate… In the nicest way possible”, Harry told his friend, leaving him no time to answer before following you out of the venue and finding you a few feet away, sat on a bench.

“Hey”, Harry said, catching your attention. He sat down next to you, forearms resting on his thighs as he leaned forwards. “That could’ve gone better”, he whispered, pulling a sardonic laugh from you.

“You think”, you snorted.

“I love you, too”, Harry blurted, barely giving you time to finish your sentence.

Before you had a chance to say or do anything in response, Cal was stalking away from the venue doors and towards the two of you. “Cal-”, you started.

“Look”, he sighed. “I reacted badly. I shouldn’t have gotten angry, alright”, he huffed. “I was just caught off guard, I had no idea”, he defended.

“That was sort of the point”, you chuckled. “Because we were worried about what you’d say”, you explained. “Or that you’d react like this”.

Harry sat still beside you, always unsure of what to do or say when it came to disagreements between you and Cal, and it was only made worse by the fact that he was in the middle of the situation. He let his hand leave his lap and join yours, squeezing around your fingers supportively.

“Nothing I say is gonna make this go away?”, Cal asked, face pulled with pain.

“No”, you said simply, a sense of finality settling in your voice. “If you love me enough to be worried about Harry hurting me, then you love me enough to let me love Harry”, you told him gently. “And, in the nicest way possible, it really has nothing to do with you”.

Cal sat down next to you, a heavy sigh leaving his chest as he sunk into the bench. “I feel like I should’ve seen this coming”, he complained.

“To be honest, mate, you really are clueless”, Harry chuckled from beside you.

“How long have you been together?”, Cal asked you, looking up at you from his dejected slump.

“Officially, almost three months”, you told Cal.

“Unofficially?”, he asked warily.

“Nearly six”, you admitted.

“How did I not realise?”, Cal groaned, dropping his head against the backrest of the bench. “I can’t believe I missed it”.

“We were really good at hiding it”, Harry shrugged. “It was like mission impossible to be honest, you made everything quite inconvenient”, he jibed, earning him a swat over the head from Cal.

“At least I never heard you shagging”, Cal sighed. His eyes went wide as a silence fell over you and Harry, a smirk threatening to peak through onto your lips. “Are you fucking kidding me!?”, he exclaimed, almost jumping up out of his seat.

“Yeah, none of those one night stands were one night stands”, Harry mumbled as he itched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry, and all”. You could see Cal cringing, knowing that he’d heard his two best friends have sex with each other couldn’t have been a fun thought to have running through his mind.

“If you excuse me, I am off to pour acid into my ears”.

[delimeful]

Helpless (2)

the next chapter in the drider virgil fic!

warnings: spiders, slight dehumanizing language, assumptions/jumping to conclusions

-

Logan was certain that he’d tracked down his quarry.

Of course, he’d also been certain the last two times he’d found promising evidence around a swath of woods, but this time was different.

He had learned plenty while traversing through the varied lands of his kingdom, and while physical evidence was ideal, word of mouth was one of the most useful tools a researcher could use to find leads.

That was part of the reason why he’d been so careful to observe typical travelers for weeks before his departure, the reason he was wearing worn, cheap fabric and staying at the second-cheapest room at this town’s inn, despite having plenty of money still hidden on his person. He didn’t want a single rumor about a suspiciously rich noble traveling alone.

The last thing he needed was for his investigative journey to be interrupted by bandits, or worse, would-be do-gooders attempting to return the missing prince to his place in line for the throne.

Logan resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the very thought, putting aside the last half of his travel rations and stopping at the edge of town to stare into the woods beyond. He checked his compass habitually, and he was pointed firmly westward, exactly towards the point of the woods that were occupied by a dangerous monster, according to the barkeep that Logan had plied for information last night at supper.

The whole town knew of it, even the younger residents, which was a point in favor of the creature really existing rather than just being another folk tale.

There was one other potential source on the creature, a town outcast going by the way others’ noses wrinkled at the mention of him, but Logan was more than ready to begin investigating for himself, and the odds that the outcast actually knew anything were low, anyhow.

Decided, he headed into the forest, prepared for the day-long trek that was sure to follow. If he was prone to less scientific notations, he might have jotted down that he had a good feeling about this particular town.

Exactly an hour and a half later, Logan had found himself almost entirely immobilized by layers and layers of gossamer threads strewn about the trees.

Needless to say, he was ecstatic.

Even the foolish manner in which he’d landed himself stuck in such an obvious trap couldn’t dampen his spirits, not when faced with undeniable proof that there was in fact a drider in these woods. He’d been too hasty in his attempt to collect some of the biological material, and by yanking too hard, had ended up pulled forwards into the thick of the intricate spider web.

His immobility was a bit concerning, but mostly frustrating, since he couldn’t reach for his journal to note down the surprising level of the webbing’s tensile strength. Still, proper scientists had to be prepared to hold onto their observations for as long as it took for them to be able to write them down.

Besides, he could hardly complain. His current predicament practically guaranteed that he would actually get to see the creature!

-

There was a person stuck in his webs, and Virgil was freaking out about it.

It had never happened before. Virgil very specifically made the webs closer to town thick and opaque so that any passerby would see them and avoid this exact situation.

Virgil peered around the cluster of bushes he had half-flattened himself behind. The stranger didn’t seem too panicked, at least, going by the way that the web barely swayed with his presence. He didn’t even seem to be breathing hard, which was… admittedly sort of strange.

Skies above, what if this was a trap? Virgil turned his head sharply to scan his surroundings, wary of human hunters suddenly popping out of the undergrowth.

Several moments of silence, and even with all his senses pushed to their farthest, he couldn’t detect anything. It seemed the only one trapped here was the human.

A pang of guilt curled unpleasantly in his first stomach. He grimaced, wishing desperately that Patton was here to mitigate the utter terror Virgil was surely about to inflict on this guy.

No point in drawing it out. He rose up to his full height, grateful that the human had gotten stuck facing the opposite direction, and quietly crept up behind him. All he needed to do was announce his presence and let the human know he wasn’t going to hurt them, but he was immediately distracted at the sight of just how tangled his webs had grown.

“How does one human manage to touch every single support thread at the same time?” he asked, voice incredulous.

The human stiffened, and he couldn’t help but tense in response, cursing his big mouth.

… Really though, he spent hours crafting these, and now this one would have to be completely reconstructed!

“Are you the monster spoken of in town?”

The measured voice snapped Virgil out of his thoughts as easy as a clap of thunder, and he shuffled a bit from side to side nervously. His many steps must have been louder than he’d thought, because the human immediately attempted to twist around and see him.

He failed, naturally, because Virgil’s threads weren’t exactly easy to wriggle free of, but Virgil’s nerves only grew. “I… why do you ask?”

There was a short silence, and then, “Considering my current situation, it’s only natural I would want to know, isn’t it?”

Virgil resisted the urge to wince at his own dumbassery. “Right. Well. Yeah,” he confirmed, already bracing for the fear that nearly every human bore when confronted with him. Even Patton had been afraid at first, though Virgil really thought him braver than any other human, to be so terrified of even normal spiders and befriend a Drider of all creatures.

“Oh, excellent,” the human said with clear excitement. “Would you mind coming around so that I can see you?”

Virgil blinked, befuddled. The last thing most humans wanted was for him to come closer. Maybe it was the natural fear of him being in their blind spot? The guy certainly didn’t sound very afraid, even with Virgil’s less-than-stellar first impression.

“Do you have a weapon?” he asked warily.

“I have a knife,” the stranger offered, “but I can’t exactly reach it at the moment.”

Virgil could see the glint of it, caught bladefirst at the very edge of a web as though it had been used on the threads themselves. He slowly circled around the clearing, watching the stranger closely for any sudden movements, until he stood before him, all eight legs and thorax visible.

“Fascinating,” he breathed, eyes blown wide as they skittered from point to point as though noticing every little detail. Virgil would have thought him afraid had it not been for the prideful little grin that sat on his face. “I thought maybe you were lying to me-- I hadn’t expected you to be so fluent in the common language, living in the woods and all-- but wow!”

Virgil felt his front legs rising up a little bit in an automatic defense against the unexpected reaction. He ran his tongue over his fangs nervously, trying to figure out whether or not he should be insulted about the language thing. And what exactly did this guy mean by ‘expected’?

The stranger’s hands twitched slightly, still stuck firmly in place, and irritation briefly flitted across his face as though he’d forgotten his position. He blinked, as though remembering something.

“Oh, right. Are you planning on trying to consume me, then?” he asked, the question as politely curious as an inquiry about the weather.

Virgil recoiled physically at the idea, skittering back a few strides and baring his fangs despite the difference in size and strength and trapped-ness between the two of them. “What? No!”

The stranger managed to drag his intrigued gaze away from Virgil’s fangs, his hands twitching again almost subconsciously. “In that case, would you mind helping me down? My leg has begun to go numb, and I really would like access to my journal.”

“I-- I mean, yeah, if you aren’t-- I can--,” Virgil stumbled over his words, drawing closer with his body lowered non-threateningly and waiting for the inevitable flinch or shiver of disgust.

It never came. The stranger continued to stare at him with no trace of terror in his eyes, even as Virgil grew close enough to reach out and touch him.

“Take your time,” he offered, despite being the one trapped in a monster’s web. Virgil abruptly felt a bit silly about his obvious wariness, and lifted his front legs to rub them together at the ankles. The stranger’s head tilted to the side slightly, watching the gesture intently.

“... It’s the oils that make the webs not stick,” Virgil explained. “I produce it naturally on my feet so I don’t get, y’know, stuck. I’ll have to touch the webs that are attached to you. With my feet. The spider ones.”

Virgil didn’t have any other kinds of feet, but the stranger graciously didn’t nitpick.

“A built-in solvent… I wonder if natural spiders have similar traits,” he mused instead, and then, “Do whatever you need, I don’t mind. The opposite, really, I appreciate the assistance.”

Sure enough, he didn’t shy away when Virgil began carefully plucking at the threads entangling him, sliding the sides of his legs along them to coat them in the anti-stick oils. Bit by bit, the entanglement loosened, and Virgil had just freed both arms when the human abruptly twisted around to reach for something on his person.

Of course, now that much of the webbing holding him in midair had been removed, his weight was significantly less supported. A few threads snapped, and he dropped a few inches with a startled yelp. If he continued, he’d be in for either a rough fall or getting caught in a whole new layer of webbing, and Virgil wanted neither of those things.

He quickly reached forwards with his human arms and lifted the stranger up and away from further entanglement, batting away any stray threads with his front legs. Belatedly, he realized he had forgotten to check if it was a weapon that the human had reached for. Even more belatedly, he realized that this was the second human he’d picked up in this impromptu carry.

Weird that it had happened twice.

“Perfect, thank you,” the guy said, and then he started writing furiously in a little book, occasionally glancing up at Virgil and locking onto a feature before returning to writing. It was as though he didn’t mind at all being held aloft like a human might lift up a misbehaving cat.

Virgil took the opportunity to continue cleaning any web remnants off the guy while he was distracted, his mind whirring. A stranger who had clearly never done a day of hard labor in his life, who didn’t seem at all afraid of him, and was taking notes.

... Oh, shit.

Virgil set him carefully on the ground while he was still preoccupied with scrawling out a label for a diagram of Virgil’s teeth. He backed up, softening his steps, and by the time the stranger pulled his attention away from his book, Virgil was already well out of sight and planned to keep it that way, regardless of the confused little call the stranger made.

He was not messing with what was clearly a mage out for his parts.

[angelasscribbles]

Forbidden Passion Chapter 7: Lie of Omission

Series: Forbidden Passion

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Liam x Riley, Drake x Riley

Warning: This fic portrays infidelity

Rating: This particular chapter is pretty ok, maybe R at most, mild language, alludes to sex.

Everything else: Master List.

Drake stood under the shower, letting the hot water pound on his back and shoulders. He had woken up grappling with his feelings. He felt guilty for his lack of guilt and anxious wondering if her feelings for him would change now that her husband was back. So he had done what he always did when he had issues that needed working out and headed for the gym. His morning routine already included running and working out, but today he had put in some extra time on the heavy bag and in the ring sparring.

Stepping out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped into the locker room to get dressed.

“Hey Cap!” One of his men called out, “Where’d you get those claw marks?”

The other men broke out into a chorus of laughs and “oohhh”s. One of them slapped him on the shoulders on his way past, “Damn. Looks like Cap got ahold of a wildcat last night!”

Drake flinched as the other man’s hand hit the barley starting to heal wounds that she had left on him as a reminder of the night before. “Hey, mind your own business Penna! The rest of you, find something to do or I’ll find something for you.”

The men quieted down and scurried away with varying replies from “Sorry” to “Oh, shit!” No one wanted to get tasked with washing the entire fleet of royal vehicles or having to inventory the armory. Captain Walker did not play when he was annoyed with them.

He heard a chuckle from the doorway and spun around to find Liam standing there. “You’re such a hard ass Drake.”

Drake quickly pulled a t-shirt on and replied, “What are you doing in here? We don’t have gym time today.”

Liam and Drake worked out together several times per week when Liam was home, Drake insisted on it, he wanted Liam to keep his self-defense skills honed in case an assailant ever got past his personal security.

“I know. But I knew I’d find you here and I wanted to come say hi. Get a moment with my best friend before the security briefing.”

Drake’s eyes ran over Liam, taking in his facial expression and demeanor, finding nothing but genuine happiness there, he allowed himself to relax and returned the smile, “Glad you did. We can walk up together. You can tell me all about your trip.”

“You probably know everything important already.” Liam said, referencing the fact that Drake coordinated and got all the updates from Liam’s security team.

“Yeah, but I mean the fun stuff, not the boring stuff! Any good diplomats embarrassing themselves stories this time?” He finished dressing as he talked and sat down to tie his shoes.

Liam chuckled, “Sadly, not this time. What about you? Anything interesting happen while I was gone? Did I hear right? Have you met someone?”

Drake stiffened for a moment then shook his head as he stood, “Not really.”

Liam nodded in understanding. A one nightstand then. That fit with Drake’s past behavior. He knew Drake had developed feelings for Riley during the social season and that he had struggled since the wedding. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. Liam was observant and Drake was his best friend. Even if all he had done was pick up a random woman in a bar, it felt like progress. Maybe he was finally moving on. That was a good thing. He’d talk to him about it when he was ready.

They left the gym and headed back to the main level of the palace, toward the wing that housed the security offices.

“You got back early this morning, right? Have you had a chance to look over the briefings from the last two weeks yet?”

Liam shook his head, “No, I cleared my schedule for the morning. The only person I wanted to see was my wife.”

Drake nodded, “Understandable. Two weeks is a long time.”

“Too long. I hope to never be away from her that long again. Next time, maybe I can talk her into coming with me.” He frowned then said, “I’m worried she’s working too hard, Drake. I cleared her schedule this morning so we could have some time together, but have you seen how hectic it is?”

“Yes. She does too much, she doesn’t want to disappoint anyone.” You should have noticed months ago, she’s working herself to exhaustion.

“I’ll have to talk to her about delegating more. Taking more time to herself.”

“Do you think she’ll listen?”

“I…don’t know. I’m afraid she’s still trying to prove herself. She doesn’t see herself clearly, she doesn’t need to prove anything. She’s already amazing.”

“Yes, she is.” Drake agreed. Shit, why did I have to say it like that?

Liam shot him a sidelong look but didn’t say anything. They walked in silence for a few minutes.

Riley was Liam’s blind spot. Drake saw that clearly. The very thing that had drawn him to her was what blinded him. Her exuberance for life, her insistence on treating him as Liam, just Liam, not the crown prince of anything. She always saw him. It was what she did. It was how she had broken through his own defenses, seeing through all his jaded bullshit to the tender marshmallow heart he tried to hide.

Liam had been entranced by this woman who had appeared and brought him out of himself, made him smile and laugh, asked him about hisfeelings while not carrying about currying favor, worrying about how hewas handling the social season, of course he had. This vision of grace and beauty, wit and charm who lit up every room she walked into. She sparkled, she enthralled. And he had fallen head over heels in love with her. They both had.

But what had captured Liam’s heart was her focus on his comfort, his well-being. Liam had been raised for a life of service, for a life of obedience to duty and honor. To have someone focus on him, on his feelings, to clearly see him for him, had been a revelation for him. Something so far out of his realm of experience that he couldn’t help but be swept away by it. It was understandable. She had rescued him, saved him from a life of unrelenting sacrifice. She had opened up possibilities he had never dreamed possible and because of that, he only saw her strength.

Part of that was her own fault, she was so determined to be there for him, to be his safe place in all the political bullshit and courtly nonsense, that she sometimes hid her struggles from him. Drake saw that clearly too.

It was why she needed him, why they both needed him. She was strong, but still she needed a safe place of her own. He could be that. He would be that.

Drake reached out and clasped Liam on the shoulder, “It’s going to be ok, Li. I’m here for you, for her. Whatever you need, ok?”

Liam gave him a small smile, “I know. Thanks, Drake.”