#so yes I’m so sorry for answering so late but thank you so much 😭❤️

[shadowsingercassia]

Hiya, bb! 🫶

Vi here! Little fic request (no pressure ❤️)

So basically, it’s a Azriel x Y/N (because we all love Azzy, 🥰) Reader is Nesta’s friend and she asks if she can join the Valkyrie training and Nesta is like “ofc bb” but since they are so far in training, Nesta sets Reader up with Azriel for private training, and Az is like “ok”

But Nesta doesn’t inform our favourite bat-boy that Reader is actually really good at training and ends up kicking Azzy’s butt in their first lesson, and then Az becomes obsessed with her 😍

I’m not making much sense but I’d love to see if you could write it! If anyone can bring this story to life, it’s you 🥰

Love ya Xx ✨🤍

I absolutely love this request (always love my badass readers)!! 🤭❤️

Love you too, Vi!! Thank you for requesting this 💕

Also I'm really sorry for sometimes disappearing for a week or two 😭

So anywayssss

Training Gone... Right? | Azriel x reader

Summary: read message

Warnings: mentions of blood reader being a LITTLE violent while training with Azriel (its not too graphic dont worry!) 😌, cute little obsessed Azriel 😊💕 (also there is a curse word but ignore it) let me know if I missed anything!!

Words: 1.4k!

Little note: 3 povs, (Nesta, Azriel and reader) but mostly it's Az!

☆

Nesta:

Nesta looked up from her book as she saw you entering the library. A determined expression had found its way onto your face. She reached over for her bookmark, closing the book and placing it on the table beside her.

As you approached her, your steps firm and confident, she raised an eyebrow. You stopped in front of her, and your gaze met hers. She couldn't have helped it when her grey eyes softened.

"I want to learn how to fight," you state, your hands clasped behind your back. Nesta's face brike off into a smirk. Clearly, she had been waiting for you to ask her.

Knowing you, and your past, it was logical that you would want to learn how to fight, and honestly, she was eager to train you.

After that, you joined the Valkyries, training with them daily. Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie all taught you how to fight. The different techniques and fighting styles. Nesta observed you throwing a punch at Emerie, catching her off-guard. She knew you would be almost - if not - better than the rest of the Valkyries in no time. When you were determined, nothing would get in your way.

And Nesta had gotten another thought, late at night, as she read the new novel she borrowed from the library. She would set you up to train with Azriel.

Of course, you had seen Azriel once or twice while visiting Nesta in the House of Wind, but he doesn't know you were training with the Valkyries. Nesta had made sure of that.

The next day in training, she approached you as you ran through the stretches. Sunlight hit your skin, making it look golden. Taking her place close to you, she began stretching as well. "Do you remember Azriel?" She asked, turning her head slightly to look into your face.

She saw you pause for a moment before you answered her. "The shadowsinger, right?" You asked her back, furrowing your eyebrows. Nodding, she answered, "yes, the shadowsinger."

"Right, what about him?" You asked her, confused about why she would bring him up like that. Nesta rarely spoke of the shadowsinger with you. "I was wondering if you would be alright with inviting him to train with us tomorrow," she said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.

"I wouldn't mind it, no," you said, still partially confused, but the anticipation of tomorrow gnawed at you. The door opened, Gwyn striding in, giving both you and Nesta a wave. Smiling, you wave back at her.

Reader (Y/n):

Training was surprisingly light today, and while it usually lasted longer, Nesta had retired early, then Gwyn, and lastly Emerie, leaving you alone. Not that you minded it, Nesta told you she was going to spend the afternoon with her mate, Gwyn saying Clotho needed her help in the library, and then Emerie deciding to spend the rest of the day doing her own things.

However, you wanted to train a bit more, as you always did. Perhaps that was why you had gotten so good, because you stayed about another few hours and practice what you learned that day.

As the sun slowly set behind the Illyrian mountains, the last rays disappearing beneath the horizon, you took a break. Sitting down, you roll back your shoulders, watching the sky shift from the golden hues to a dark blue. A sense of calm washed over you when the stars started appearing like bright flecks against the darkness.

You lost track of time, too deep into your thoughts to come out. Though eventually, you winnowed to your bedroom, taking a quick bath, and laying off to rest.

Azriel:

Strapping his siphons in place, he was about to go train you. Nesta had asked if he could train Y/n, and Azriel couldn't refuse.

As he winnowed to the roof of the House of Wind, he found you alone, getting ready for training. The leather trousers you wore were rolled up to your knees, letting the chill morning breeze kiss the exposed skin.

Azriel had been told by Nesta that you were a new Valkyrie. She just hadn't told him that you had started training with them more than a year ago. Nesta wasn't lying though, you were the newest member of the Valkyries (and the best one in sparring).

His gaze locked with yours, and you gave him a brief smile, which he returned, much to his surprise.

"Quick spar before the others get here?" You suggest, and Azriel nods. Wait, the others? Azriel had been told this was a private training... that's when he noticed one of his shadows, wrapped around your wrist. As his gaze locked there, your own eyes followed, looking at the shadow. You hadn't realized, he noticed as he watched your expression.

Dismissing it, he took his fighting stance, and you quickly did the same. Azriel took in your stance, eyebrows raising as he looked at your near-perfect stance. Maybe you knew a few things about sparring.

He quickly knew that 'a few things' was a lot. You threw punches, most of them hitting their marks on various parts of his body. Azriel could feel the sore spots, knowing they would bruise sooner or later. A groan slipped past his lips as your knee drove itself to his stomach. Stumbling back, he clutched his abdomen, sharp pain shooting through his body.

You didn't falter and that one moment was all it took before you landed a hook to his jaw. His face snapped sideways and he really tried to get himself together. Not even his shadows could predict you.

Suddenly, he was swept off his feet, his back hitting the training mat. The breath was knocked off his lungs and he gasped, struggling to draw air into his lungs. Every coherent thought left his mind but he managed to roll over and scramble to his feet before he could receive another blow.

You dodged most of his jabs, although a few found their targeted spots. Exhausted, that was what Azrisl was. Seemingly, you were exhausted as well, although less than him.

It didn't make sense. Azriel had been training for more than five hundred years and yet you, that have been training for cauldron knows how long, are beating him. He would be having a talk with Nesta after today.

His footwork started to falter slightly, and of course you would notice that too. Taking full advantage of his state, you manage to knock him off his feet again.

"I yield! Cauldron, I yield." He panted, his eyes closing momentarily. Once he opened his eyes again, he was met with the sight of you, hand extended to him.

Azriel froze. Before, he hadn't fully taken you in, but now, you were right in from of him, and Cauldron, you looked ethereal. He had competely forgotten his bleeding nose and the bruises that had started to bloom on his skin as he stared at you.

A thin layer of sweat coated your body, your training leathers clinging to you like a second skin. Strands had fallen free from the simple hairstyle you wore, sticking to your forehead, and falling into your eyes and you pushed them back. His gaze flickered to your parted lips, almost unconsciously, as you drew in heavy breaths. Quickly, he averted his gaze, not wanting to be caught at you, and especially not wanting to be caught staring at your lips.

Realizing he had been dozing off for too long, he grasped your hand in his. Planting his feet onto the ground, you helped pull him up. Finally standing back on his feet, his thoughts replayed Nesta's words. She's the newest Valkyrie. Mhm, he's noticed that, he thought, slightly annoyed at Nesta. Who could have thought the newest Valkyrie would be that good?

Even Nesta couldn't beat him, neither Gwyn or Emerie, and yet this woman had handed his ass to him today.

And he found himself stunned.

And perhaps a little obsessed... but he wouldn't admit that to himself.

Nobody came and as you and Azriel waited, he finally spoke. "Do you think the others will come?"

"No," you reply. After a beat of silence, you speak again. "I'll go find Nesta," you say as you walk towards the door.

"You're a worthy opponent, shadowsinger." The door closed behind you and Azriel was at a loss of words, a flush tinging his cheeks. Get it together, Az, he thought, but the image of you refused to leave his mind.

Obsessed indeed.

-------------------------☆-------------------------

a/n: I had so much fun writing this, I was giggling the whole time! Again thank you so much @anarchiii for this request! I hope you like it, because I adjusted it slightly 💓

general taglist: @blessthepizzaman @amara-moonlight @homeslices @flourishandblotts-inc @anarchiii

comment '💕' to be added to my general taglist!

Love, Cassia ❤️

[helpimhyperfixating]

if i met you in real life i hope it's at a cosplay convention so i can cosplay your mertaro au

I absolutely don’t remember getting this ask but I saw it again just now and want to burst into tears

You’d want to what?

Me? Mine? R-Really?

I-I- I don’t know why you would want to but thank you so much 😭

Having a rough day so this is really sweet to read 👉👈🥺

❤️💖❤️

[halsteadlover]

Haunted

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.

• Requested by @lelaartt: So reader and Jay are engaged, her working as a nurse in the ICU. She gets followed by a stranger on her way home for couple of occasions (She doesn't tell anyone) as the stranger becames a main suspect in case that intelligence is dealing with. Jay completelly worried about her safety and she tells him about the stranger following her for couple of weeks.

• Warnings: stalking, cursing, blood, description of violence, brief mention of killing and rape. (Let me know if I missed something).

• Word count: 9530.

• A/N: I know this is a long ass fic and I’m so sorry please don’t come at me 😭. I’m kinda nervous because I really don’t vibe with the fic but I really hope it turned out okay. Let me know what you think and reblog, comment and like if you want. ❤️ thank you again for your support, forever grateful for it. Sending lots of love to you all xx

Your hospital shift was nothing short of exhausting.

That day there were three hospitalizations in the ICU due to a terrible accident that happened in the afternoon. Three patients, all of them brain dead. The ward was short-staffed and it was just you and another nurse, Amanda, on that shift so dealing with these three new patients, along with the other ones, was really exhausting.

After closing your locker, you removed the necklace where you hung the ring and slipped it onto the ring finger of your left hand, which you did at the end of each shift. You didn't want to risk losing it during work, you’d never forgive yourself for it so you just carried it around your neck during the shifts. You looked at it for a moment with a smile on your lips thinking back to the day Jay asked you to marry him.

You took your cell phone from the pocket of your uniform and, as you walked towards the exit, bag on your shoulders, you noticed various texts from Jay, the last one dating back to a couple of minutes prior.

From Fiancée 💍, 7:17 pm

Baby we're still dealing with a difficult case, I think I'll be late tonight. Please let me know when you get home. I love you endlessly. Be careful.

From Fiancée 💍, 7:55 pm

Baby? Are you okay?

From Fiancée 💍, 8.21 pm

Should I send a patrol to the hospital? You know I'll do it love.

You chuckled not doubting about that, you knew he would. Jay had always been very protective of you, which you wouldn't admit but loved it madly. You loved he cared about you, so much he’d leave everything and everyone to come to you if you asked him to.

From you, 8.27 pm

I'm sorry love, it's been a hard shift and I just picked up my cell phone. I'm going home now. How are you? When will you finish? You’ll come home soon, right?

You left the hospital and started walking home. It was late spring and the temperatures were finally starting to warm up a bit, allowing you to finally breathe fresh air. You really needed it after a whole day of smelling the hospital and disinfectants.

Your cell phone started ringing following a call.

“Hi baby! You really miss me that much, don’t you?” You begin, bringing your cell phone to your ear, a smile on your lips.

“I always miss you, you know that,” your fiancée answered on the other end of the phone. “Are you walking home?”.

“Yes, it's a beautiful evening and I felt like walking.”

Jay sighed. “Baby you know I don't like the idea of you walking alone in the dark, you could’ve taken a taxi or waited for me to pick you up.”

“Oh come on Jay, what’s gonna happen. I'll be home in twenty minutes,” you retorted “Where are you?”.

“I'm still in the district baby, I have to finish writing a case report and then I'm finally leaving,” you heard some noise in the background but you couldn't figure out what he was doing.

Jay continued to keep you company on the phone, refusing to leave you completely alone even though you'd insisted that he finish work so he'd get back to you soon.

You asked him about his day and he started telling you what he had done as you listened to him carefully, asking him a few questions from time to time when you didn't quite understand something. You bumped into a person and quickly mumbled an apology before walking on, quickly glancing at the man who reassured you not to worry.

“Everything okay baby?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I got distracted and bumped into a guy, no big deal. What were you saying?”.

Suddenly an unease feeling went through your body. You tried to let it go, thinking it was just a figment of your imagination.

You clasped your hand around your purse, quickly picking up your pace when you began to hear footsteps behind you.

They were so loud you seemed to hear them only a few feet away from you.

You turned around and stopped in your tracks, looking around for a few seconds before letting out a sigh of relief.

There was no one walking behind you.

Your heart was pounding and anxiety was eating up your stomach and you forgot for a moment you were on the phone with Jay.

Stay calm, you're just tired.

“Baby? You still there?” Jay's voice brought you back to reality. “Oh yeah, sorry, I couldn’t hear you anymore.” You answered. You didn't want to make him worry about your simple and stupid feeling, you knew if you told him you had the impression someone was following you he would’ve rushed to you and acted like the world was about to end.

You were sure it was just the fatigue speaking, but your senses remained alert until you got to your apartment. You took a shower while you waited for Jay to come back home, ordering food since you knew neither of you would feel like cooking.

You were about to lower the blinds in your bedroom window when, glancing outside, you noticed a figure standing on the sidewalk in front of you.

It was too dark for you to make out who it was and for a few moments you stood paralyzed, your eyes fixed on that dark figure, trying to figure out if it was just a hallucination.

The noise of the front door opening and closing made you jump in place, nearly giving you a heart attack.

You took your eyes off that figure for just a second.

Just for a moment.

And it was no longer there.

You ran your hands over your face in frustration, letting out a deep sigh at the same time before walking over to Jay, deciding you were going to ignore it and just needed a good night's sleep.

-

The following days went on quietly and the strange episode that happened a few nights before passed into oblivion. But that was before something else weird made your skin crawl.

“Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to work babe?” Jay asked you as he planted numerous kisses on your lips, making you smile between them. It was morning and you were both in the doorway, your arms around his chest as you both struggled to pull away.

“I'm positive baby, just think about resting okay? I’ll see you tonight.”

He cupped his hands over your face, giving you one last long, sweet kiss on your lips. “I'll have dinner ready for you. You be careful. I love you so much.”

“I love you more.“

The day went on peacefully. You had to work a double shift in the hospital as the nurse on the afternoon shift was sick and had to take over her place.

You loved your job, you really did. There was nothing else you would’ve done in your life but sometimes you couldn't deny how difficult and tiring it was.

“Y/N, sweetie!” You heard the voice of your colleague, Becca, calling you from a patient’s room you'd just passed. You sighed, recognizing the tone she used when she needed something.

You took a few steps back, looking into the room and noticing Becca intent on changing the unconscious patient's dressing.

“Becca I was about to leave, why do you still want to torture me?” You whined and she rolled her eyes. “Please help me change these dressings. Pretty please, I can't wait to leave too.”

She put on the sweetest puppy face she was capable of and for the second time you sighed and rolled your eyes. You ended up disinfecting your hands, putting on a pair of gloves and helping her to change the patient’s dressings.

By the time you finished you were dead tired and couldn't wait to get back to Jay and sleep, you probably would’ve just run away if anyone else had asked you any other favor. For this reason, you practically flew out of the hospital after saying goodbye to your colleagues.

It was particularly cold that evening and you found yourself rubbing your hands on your arms in an attempt to get some warmth. Thank God you took the car that day.

You walked over to your car and grabbed the keys from your bag. Before unlocking it, you noticed an object resting on the windshield, held on it by the wiper. You furrowed your eyebrows when you realized it was a rose.

A black rose.

What the fuck?

There was no card attached to it, just the rose.

Your heartbeat began to accelerate and anxiety took over you. You tried to keep calm and not freak out since there was definitely an explanation why someone had to put a damn black rose on your car.

Maybe they were wrong, maybe it was for another person and they got mixed up with the cars.

Who the hell gives a black rose though?

Your eyes scanned the parking lot around you but you didn't notice anyone suspicious or anyone nearby watching you, before dropping the rose on the asphalt, trying not to think about it. There was definitely a mistake.

The car ride was strange.

You couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. You kept looking in the rear view mirror to notice if there were any cars following you, you were probably just getting paranoid but you couldn't keep yourself calm.

When you parked in your usual spot once you got back home, that feeling of discomfort hadn't disappeared, on the contrary, it had increased.

The streetlights hadn't been turned on yet and it was dark enough outside so distinguishing objects or people was pretty hard.

After locking the car you were about to enter the apartment building when your gaze fell on the sidewalk in front of you.

You didn't know if it was just your imagination, but you swore there was someone standing, exactly in front of you and, despite the darkness, you were sure they were watching you.

You couldn't figure out who that person was, only that he was a man.

Your breath caught in your chest as you realized it was the same figure you'd spotted a few days earlier from your bedroom window.

The silence was almost deafening, making everything more frightening and suggestive.

Your muscles were paralyzed as your eyes seemed to be glued to that man.

Suddenly he moved and your heart almost stopped beating.

But when you saw him go away, that was the last thing you expected.

He did nothing, just walked away.

You tried to explain what was happening in your mind. Maybe it was just a coincidence, that man was there for another reason and you had nothing to do with it.

You let out a sigh you didn't realize you were holding and quickly entered the apartment building, rushing to your home where you found Jay on the couch watching a show.

That rose left you with a feeling of anxiety that you couldn't get rid of easily, also caused by that figure you saw standing in front of you. You didn't immediately tell Jay, you didn't want to worry him since you already knew how he’d react and he’d worry to death and go crazy about it.

You just wanted to be sure that something’s happening before alarming him.

But, knowing you like the back of his hand, he immediately sensed there was something strange, that something was bothering you. You tried to convince him otherwise, that you were just awfully tired after working a double shift at the hospital.

“Baby, really, I'm fine. I'm just dead tired,” you said for the hundredth time since you'd set foot inside the house.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me. Did someone upset you? Did something happen at work?” He kept going, thumb and forefinger under your chin to keep your head up and make you look into his eyes. Your hands slid under his shirt, caressing his chest as you placed your lips on his, trying to distract him.

“No baby, nobody did anything. Seriously, nothing happened,” you muttered against his lips, “I just missed my fiancé like hell.” You bit his bottom lip and he hissed, his breathing suddenly heavy. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”.

“Fuck yeah,” Jay had said before crashing his mouth on yours and kissing your breath away. His tongue explored every corner of your mouth as his lips moved masterfully with yours. His hands went down your body and he bent slightly before reaching your thighs, pressing his fingers against your skin and urging you to jump into his arms.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck meanwhile he carried you to the bathroom, never letting go of you. As he kicked the door open, you found yourself completely lost in him, the rest of the world vanishing and all negative thoughts forgotten.

However this sensation of bliss was destined to vanish.

In the following days the feeling that was tormenting you didn’t disappear, instead it only got worse.

You started to sense someone was constantly following you and watching you, that every time you walked in the middle of the street there was someone behind you even if every time you turned around there was no one.

After finding that rose on your car, this kept happening and almost every night for two weeks a rose would appear on your windshield.

Jay knew something was wrong, you weren't acting normally anymore.

You were always jumpy, any sudden noise made you almost have a heart attack, even if you were cooking and he suddenly hugged you from behind you’d be scared to death.

Needless to say Jay asked you a million times what was going on, what was it that was bothering you so much but you didn't want to bother him. You didn't want to upset him, make him worry about some stupid feeling of yours, not when his work was already haunting him enough.

Maybe deep down you were hoping whoever was leaving you those roses would stop and eventually leave you alone.

One evening you went out with your friends, on one of your rare days off, to try to keep your mind occupied and to catch up with them since you didn't always have the opportunity because of your hectic job.

Between laughter, jokes, chatting and various cocktails, the evening went on normally and by 1:00 am each one of you went back home. You headed towards your car, parked not far from the bar where you had all met together, calm and happy for the first time in weeks.

However, this feeling of calmness faded the instant your gaze fell on a damn black rose sitting on your windshield, again.

A wave of anger took over you.

You were tired, so damn tired of this little game that whoever it was was playing against you.

Who the hell was this person? What the fuck did they want from you? Why were they targeting you?

Whoever that person was they following you, they knew what you were doing, who you were with, and it scared the shit out of you as well as infuriating you.

You tore all the petals off that rose that would haunt you forever before throwing it angrily on the asphalt and getting into the car. You started it and quickly drove away from there, intending to go home immediately.

You wanted Jay, you wanted your fiancée. You wanted to hug him, feeling safe again in his arms and forget about all that shit that was going on.

As soon as you got home, however, your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jay laying on the sofa, asleep. The TV was on and he had his cell phone resting on his stomach, holding it close in case you called him. A smile was born on your lips and for an instant all negative thoughts flew away as your attention focused on the sleeping figure on the couch.

You leaned towards him, leaving a sweet little kiss on his forehead, also gently stroking his hair with your left hand. He stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes at the same instant, looking around before looking at you, a sigh of relief to see you were back home safe and sound.

“I’m sorry I woke you up baby,” you whispered, kissing his forehead again “Let's go to bed so you can sleep again.”

He mumbled something you couldn’t catch and rubbed his eyes before flashing a smile that nearly made your knees buckle. He nodded and then stood up, stretching his arms before pulling you into a hug. “How are you my love? Did you have fun?”.

The memory of that rose returned to your mind but for some reason, seeing his eyes so red and tired, you decided not to worry him about it and you’d talk to him about it the following morning.

“Mmh,” you muttered nodding your head “I really had fun, we needed this girls night out even though I missed you a lot.”

He chuckled, placing his hands on your face and giving you a kiss on the lips. “I’m glad darling, you deserved it since you’re working so hard lately. And I missed you so much more,” he kissed you again “Come on, let's go to sleep now.”

But that night you couldn't sleep given the thousands of thoughts that were going through your head. You couldn't help but think who would do something like that, what the hell those roses meant. Was there anyone who had it in for you? Did you do something to someone? Maybe an angry patient?

You thought again and again about who could be doing this but none occurred to you. Jay told you about his cases so many times you knew that whoever did this was doing it to torture you, to keep you on your toes, to make you live in fear.

And the fact they were succeeding was infuriating you.

Fear turned into pure terror when, while checking your cell phone, you noticed a text from an unknown number.

So pretty. Can’t wait to meet you.

How did they get your number?

You were so immersed in your thoughts you didn't notice it was morning and that Jay had woken up in the meantime. He literally jumped out of bed when you told him the time after he asked you, realizing he was late. You had the afternoon shift so you didn't have to worry about getting ready for quite a while longer.

“Baby can I talk to you about something?” You had asked him, not being able to hold it in anymore even though you knew you picked up the worst time to do it.

How smart were you for wanting to talk to him about something so delicate as he was hurring to get dressed and going to work? Not much.

“Can you tell me about it later? I'm so sorry, but I'm super late…” he replied frantically as he ran from one part of the room to another looking for the keys. He stopped for a moment in front of you, placing his hands on your face, analyzing your features. “Is it something important though? If…”

You shook his head, placing your hands on his chest and giving him a reassuring smile even if anxiety was making you nauseous. “No, it's not urgent baby. I'll tell you tonight. Now go.”

He smiled at you and made sure to leave you a long, sweet kiss on your lips before saying goodbye and literally flying out of the front door.

It could wait, right?

You tried to keep yourself busy all morning, cleaning every corner of your apartment and keeping your mind from the negative thoughts.

You couldn't deny the slightest noise made you jump, even when you accidentally dropped something on the floor. You hated this feeling, you hated having to be afraid in your own home, you hated whoever was doing this to you, you hated them so fucking much.

You nearly jumped for joy when you realized it was time to get ready for work, the thought that for few hours you'd be safe made you especially happy to go to the hospital.

You took a shower before quickly putting on your uniform and packing your bag. You checked that everything you needed was there, house and car keys and hospital locker keys, a bottle of water, tissues, tampons, some snacks, pepper spray and a small knife. Jay had forced you to carry them around constantly, asserting you could never be too safe and he’d be comfortable with the thought you had something to protect you in case of need, and never as then as then you were grateful to him.

Once you left the apartment, you made sure you locked the door at least three times. The anxiety that had been living with you for weeks was now gripping your stomach, forcing you to constantly look around and keeping you alert to any individual passing by you.

You forcefully clutched your purse to you, walking briskly to your car and unlocking before climbing in and locking yourself inside. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were even holding as your eyes continued to scan the perimeter for any type of threat.

Did you already mention how much you hated this?

“It's okay Y/N, it's okay, just take it easy,” you whispered to yourself, taking a deep breath before putting on your seat belt and starting the car.

As you drove to the hospital you couldn't help but constantly look at the rear view mirror, almost as if you expected someone to be following you but they weren't, there was no car that you repeatedly noticed behind you.

Your cell phone started ringing and you took it from inside your bag, not taking your eyes off the road. Without even looking who it was, imagining for a moment it was Jay, you answered.

“Hello?”.

The smile on your lips instantly disappeared when instead of a voice you started to hear a heavy sigh, almost a pant.

“Hello?”.

You took the phone away from your ear and glanced at the screen, noting that it wasn't Jay, or anyone else you knew, but an unknown ID.

“Who is this?” You continued, hoping whoever it was would answer and maybe you'd recognize the voice. The person on the other end of the phone just kept sighing heavily, making your heart beat so hard you thought you were about to have a heart attack at any moment.

“What the fuck do you want from me?! Leave me alone!” You screamed, in the grip of fear, anxiety and anger that this person was forcing you to suffer. You closed the call and threw the cell phone on the passenger seat, not caring if it had bumped into something or was broken.

Your vision began to blur with tears fearing for your safety. They had your number. They knew where you lived. What kept them from taking you and killing you?

Your hands were shaking on the wheel as you parked at the hospital, palms sweaty. Your heart was still pounding and there wasn't a muscle in your body that didn't shake like your hands.

You took a few minutes to compose yourself, not wanting to cause questions from colleagues about the reason of your emotional state.

You took a few deep breaths and wiped your tears away, constantly telling yourself that everything was fine, that you'd be fine, that no one could hurt you in the hospital.

You never felt the need to have Jay with you like then. God you were stupid, so fucking stupid for not telling him about all of this before, for keeping everything inside you and hoping it’d eventually just go away, for underestimating what was happening. You were being stalked.

You texted him, telling him you'd arrived at the hospital and asking how his day was going, determined to tell him about the person who was stalking you as soon as you got off work.

You never thought you'd say it but you were never as glad you had a hard shift as you were that afternoon. Four patients arrived, one after suffering a stroke, two from a car accident and another after falling from the roof of his house.

The entire shift consisted of you and your colleagues running back and forth across the ward, treating patients, resuscitating them after one of them went into cardiac arrest twice. Your mind was focused on nothing but your patients and in treating them, everything else was left out of the hospital. You wouldn't let whoever was stalking you ruin your job, ever.

At the end of the shift there was no need to say you were dead tired and couldn't wait to go to sleep and although it was only 8:00 pm, the lack of sleep of the night before starting to take a toll on you.

As you placed your stethoscope in the locker and grabbed your bag, you removed your engagement ring from the chain around your neck and putted it on your finger. Your cell phone rang following a text notification and your heart skipped a beat for an instant.

The anxiety, which you managed to not to think about during the afternoon, returned stronger than ever to grip your stomach and for a moment you considered to throw the phone away.

But you thought it’d Jay and when you realized that it was indeed him, you breathed a sigh of relief. He said he'd be late that night because of a particularly difficult case and to let him know when you'd be done and went back home.

You tried to hide your sorrow, not wanting to be alone, especially in that situation.

You quickly typed a text back, asking him what he’d like for dinner, and put your cell phone in your bag. You said goodbye to your colleagues and walked towards the hospital exit.

You took a deep breath, praying to God to go home safe and sound.

Although spring had arrived it was particularly cold that evening due to the wind blowing and you cursed yourself for not bringing a jacket with you.

You walked, actually, almost ran to your car.

Anxiety was eating you alive and your heart was pounding, fear flowing like a river through your veins.

After taking the keys from your bag and unlocked the car, you quickly looked around, a sigh of relief leaving your lips when you saw no one was around you.

But suddenly the keys fell out of your hands as a slimy hand placed over your mouth and an arm around your hips.

Your bag fell to the ground as you began to squirm in an attempt to free yourself from whoever grabbed you.

Adrenaline coursed through your veins as the fear of dying made you fight like never before.

You screamed, your throat burning, even though because of the hand your scream came out muffled.

“Stop fighting it, it had to happen sooner or later, you knew it was going to happen sweetie,” A man's voice came hoarsely to your ears and you suppressed a gag.

You managed to hit his side with your elbow, hard enough to loosen his grip on you and you tried to push him away with all the strength you had in your body.

“You fucking whore!”.

You threw yourself to get the car keys on the asphalt but the man was faster than you and grabbed your arm, pressing his fingers into your skin with such force you were sure they’d leave a mark.

A searing, stinging pain radiated up your face as his fist hit you full-on, knocking you to the ground. You put your hands forward to try to cushion the fall, but it caused you scratches and minor lacerations on both your forearms.

“We're meant to be. I know you want it. I saw it.”

You glanced at him and almost fainted when after few seconds your recognized him.

You had already met him. He was the guy you bumped into two weeks ago.

What the fuck?!

He tried to grab your wrists but before forcing you to get up, you managed to kick him in his genital area, using all the strength you had in your body. A sound of pure pain escaped his mouth and he backed away, leaning forward and gripping the sore area with his hands.

You took advantage of that moment of weakness to get off the asphalt. You weren't going to let him hurt you, not anymore.

You grabbed his black hair in two fists and you didn't care about the damage you would’ve caused him, you didn't care you were a nurse, that you were supposed to be the one to treat people and not hurt them, but you kneed him in his face and the horrible noise his bones made, suggested you most likely broke his nose.

You pushed him to the ground, ignoring the way he grunted in pain and the blood pouring profusely from his nose, kicking him in the stomach with such force that even you were stunned.

You never fought in your entire life, never kicked anyone or punched someone, you hated the idea of hurting people but at that very moment your life was on the line and you had to protect yourself.

The man was laying on the asphalt grunting and muttering some curse word and you took advantage of it. You had to run away, that was your only chance.

You quickly grabbed your car keys and purse off the ground before opening the door and getting in. You locked yourself in before you started fumbling to get the vehicle going.

Your hands were shaking and your vision was still blurry from the punch he had thrown at you.

You gave him a quick look, terrified he’d get up and kill you on the spot.

You didn't know how but you managed to start the car and without even looking back you drove away from that parking lot. You knew you couldn't drive in those conditions but you just wanted to get away from that monster.

You didn't know where to go, you didn't want to go home, the terror of being attacked there would’ve killed you so you went to the place where there was the only person you wanted to see, the only one who could make you feel better, safe.

The journey to the district was awful.

Your body was driving but it was as if you were experiencing everything from the outside, as if your soul had left your body and was looking at you from afar.

You didn't know how you managed to drive and not run over anyone or crash yourself.

Your breathing was still quickening, your chest rose and fell as if you'd run a marathon, your trembling hands struggling to hold onto the steering wheel. Your vision was blurred due to copious tears flowing from your eyes and streaming down your face, not even realizing you were crying desperately.

Your face was in pain and you were sure a huge bruise would appear on your cheek, although you didn't care, grateful you were still alive, that you managed to escape.

When you arrived at the district, you didn’t care about parking your car properly, or to take your bag or lock it after getting off. You just wanted Jay.

A smile appeared on Sergeant Platt's face the moment she saw you walking up the stairs, but when she noticed the way you were running, it immediately disappeared.

“Oh my God Y/N!” she exclaimed as soon as she saw you up close. Your face was streaked with tears, an expression of pure terror and fear contouring your features, your uniform stained with dust. She ran towards you, placing her hands on your arms. “What happened to you?” She took a look at your body looking for any other injury. “Oh dear. It's okay, whatever happened you're safe here.”

You kept breathing hard and your eyes were so full of tears you could barely see her.

“Shh it's okay. Come on, let's go sit down.”

She put her arm around your shoulders as she took your hand with her free one as a sign of support. She led you into one of the break rooms, making you sit on the couch and sitting next to you.

Her hand kept squeezing yours meanwhile the other stroked your back, trying to calm you down.

“Do you want some water?” She asked and you nodded, not being able to speak at the moment. Trudy got up and ran to get a bottle of water.

She handed it to you after opening the cap and it broke her heart to see the way you were shaking. “T-thanks,” you stammered, your chest shaking with sobs. “J-Jay.”

“I'm going to call him right away, don't move from here,” she said, seeing the way you needed him. She got up and ran upstairs, where Intelligence was still busy working on the case.

Everyone turned to the sergeant, who was at the top of the stairs with an expression that did not bode well. “Trudy, did something happen?” Voight asked as soon as he saw her but her gaze fell on Jay, who was standing by the whiteboard, arms folded across his chest.

“Jay… It's Y/N…” She spoke, saying nothing else. “She's downstairs now…”

Jay's eyes widened at the sergeant's words, his eyebrows furrowed in an expression of worry and fear. He knew something was up, by the way Platt looked at him and a wave of anxiety hit him, his mind now focused only on you.

Without even letting her finish the sentence, he quickly moved away from the others, running down the stairs, almost tripping on his feet. Trudy followed him, giving no explanation to the rest of the team who just exchanged a worried look.

“Where's she?” he asked hurriedly and Trudy pointed him to the room you were in.

He burst into the room and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw you sitting on the sofa but immediately worrying when he saw the state you were in. Trudy closed the door behind him, leaving you two alone and not giving any other cops a chance to snoop.

You had your elbows resting on your knees, your hands on your face as your leg bounced up and down almost obsessively.

“Baby!”.

His voice made you snap your head to him and before you knew it, you were rushing into his arms, squeezing yours around his torso with so much force you were almost afraid he’d disappear.

Jay was surprised for a moment but immediately returned that hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hugging you like he never did. He had no idea what had happened, but whatever it was he knew it was serious and that was enough to make his heart race.

“I'm here baby, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay,” he whispered, placing a kiss on your head, stroking your hair. You cried in his arms, with relief because he was finally there with you.

His heart sank as he heard you cry like that, feeling helpless like never before. You kept shaking and, without even knowing anything, Jay promised himself whoever had done this to you was a dead person.

“Baby you're making me worry to death. Please talk to me,” his voice coming out desperately. You broke away from his embrace, but still remained very close to him. “Darling, look at me. What happened?”.

His hands rested on your face and inevitably on the bruised cheek. You winched in pain and this didn't escape Jay, who was on the verge of losing his mind by then. “Y/N. Look at me,” he urged and you did as he said, lifting your head and making eye contact with him.

His breath caught in his chest as his gaze fell on the clear purple bruise on your cheek.

“What the fuck? Y/N…” he stammered, an incredulous and horrified look on his face as he looked at you. He took his hand away from your wounded cheek, placing two fingers under your chin and turning your head to inspect it better. “Shit baby… What happened? Who did this to you?”.

His heart was pounding in his chest and as his eyes looked at every single inch of that bruise that lined your cheek, every single cell in his body lit up with rage. Seeing the desperation on your face, the look of pure terror with which you were looking at him, the way your eyes were so full of tears, Jay felt as if he had stabbed and someone had twisted the knife over and over again.

“I-I… H-he…” you stammered meaninglessly, sobbing between words clearly still unable to speak.

“Oh baby come here,” he hugged you again, this time even harder than he had before. “My beautiful princess. It's okay, it's okay, you're safe now do you hear me? You're safe.” He tried to comfort you “I'm here now, I'm here. You’re not alone anymore and I will never let anyone hurt you again. You’re safe with me my love.”

“I-I was…” another sob “So… S-so scared…” you cried into his shirt, wetting it with your tears.

“I know, my baby, I know,” he whispered, placing lots of little kisses on your head. “I'm so sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen, not to you. But you're safe now, I'm here with you, you’re safe with me.” He kept repeating to you.

You both sat on the couch and he continued to hug you indefinitely, holding you and cradling you in his arms until you calmed down. “Sorry,” you muttered, your voice weak as you pulled away from his embrace, gesturing at his tear-stained t-shirt.

“Don’t even say it,” he replied. He raised his hand and stroked your hair, tucking it behind your ears as you kept your gaze on your hands. He was about to continue speaking when his eyes fell on the bruises on your arm, visible outside of your uniform.

His fingers lifted the sleeve to take a better look of the bruises on your skin. He immediately understood they were finger markers, a sign that someone had violently grabbed your arm.

“Oh darling,” he whispered, shattered at the sight of those horrible marks on your beautiful skin “What have they done to you?” His fingers caressed you gently, being careful not to hurt you further.

He was furious, like he had been a few other times in his life, and he still hadn't heard the story.

“Tell me what happened, please.”

You sighed and with still trembling voice, started talking. You told him about everything, about the roses, about the feeling of being followed, about the text, about the call and about the man who attacked you, the fact you already saw him for few seconds weeks prior, how he hit you and how you defended yourself.

“Why the hell didn't you tell me about it sooner?!” Jay snapped, when you finished speaking “This was never going to happen dammit! I would’ve killed that fucking son of a bitch.”

He leapt to his feet, running his hands over his face and pacing around the room. He didn't want to pick on you, it wasn't your fault and he knew it, but he was so damn angry, so angry you had to go through this, that he wasn't there to protect you.

His eyes landed on you noticing how yours quickly filled with tears again at his words and the tone of voice he used. “No, no, no baby, don't cry,” he rushed over to you, kneeling in front of you and wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to blame you. It's not your fault, please don't cry.”

His hands rested on your knees as you looked at him with sad, broken eyes, making his heart break over and over again. “You’re right I should have told you about it…”

“No, baby, don't get this into your head okay? It's not your fault, I’m so sorry for snapping like that I’m just so fucking furious for what that piece of shit did to you. It’s his fault, he hurt you and make you go through all of this. I hate you had to go through this alone and I wasn’t there to help you,” He sighed “I knew something wasn't right, I should have…” Jay stopped his eyes suddenly widening as you looked at him confused.

“Oh my god, that's… That's what you wanted to tell me this morning, isn't it?”. You didn't answer, effectively giving him the answer he needed.

Jay scrambled to his feet again, as if he'd just been given an electric shock. “Fuck!” He tried to keep control but you jumped as he kicked a chair in anger before placing his hands on the table and bowing his head, his back towards you.

“Jay…” you mumbled, standing up and walking towards him. You placed a hand on his back even though he didn't move from that position.

“It's my fault, this…” he choked on his own words “If I had stopped and listened to you this morning… Shit… It shouldn't have happened… I’m so sorry…”

“Hey, hey, no baby,” you interrupted him “Don't be hypocritical and tell me to not blame me and then do the same.”

He turned his head to you and it broke your heart to see his eyes full of tears. “I was late Y/N… I… This happened to you because I didn't stop for five fucking minutes to listen to you!”.

“Jay, listen to me,” you spoke to him softly. You lightly pulled his arm, causing him to straighten his back. You cupped your hands over his face, stroking his cheeks. “It's that crazy bastard's fault okay? Not yours, not mine.”

“If something happened to you… God…”

“No. Let's not do this. No ifs and buts. I'm here and I'm fine, I was scared shitless, I'm still scared shitless, but I'll be fine. You’re here with me and you’re all I need baby. These are just bruises and they'll be gone in a couple days,” you croaked “You should’ve seen how he looked then.”

He sighed before letting out a chuckle though the tears, hugging you for the third time, his hand stroking your hair. “We'll get him okay? And I'll fucking make him pay for what he did to you.”

You and Jay went upstairs, not wanting to let you disappear from his sight for even a second, after reassuring Trudy and telling her what had happened. Needless to say, she threatened to kill the bastard herself if Jay didn't. The way he answered told you that there was no need and that he’d certainly sort it out.

“I'll get you some ice for the bruise,” Kim had offered. The rest of the team didn't take it quite well either and Voight promised you they’d catch the bastard who hurt you. You and Jay had been together for a long time and you were part of the group now, an attack on one of them was an attack on all of them.

“Thank you,” you thanked her with a warm smile, placing the bag of ice on your face. The cold sent a rush of shivers up your spine.

“Come on baby, let's go in the break room,” Jay had said, his hand resting on your lower back. However, your gaze fell on the white board on which various photos and sentences were hung.

At first you didn't notice, but when your eyes saw a particular photo, you did a double take, stopping in your tracks and lowering the hand that was holding the ice.

“Baby? Are you okay?” Jay immediately asked alarmed, then following the direction of your gaze. “Oh. That's the case we're investigating.”

The photo just on the blackboard wasn't clear enough, it was a frame taken from a surveillance video but you could distinguish the features of the man it portrayed.

You stopped breathing for a second and your mind retraced in those brief moments your aggression, still fresh and imprinted in your memory.

“Y/N?” Jay pressed, worried about your reaction as his hand caressed your back.

“It-it… Jay…” you breathed out “It's him…”

“What?!” Jay's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and everyone in the unit couldn't mask their surprise.

“It was him… H-he attacked me… Oh god…”

Your hands start shaking again and you thanked that Jay was there to hold you or you would’ve probably collapsed on the floor.

Your eyes moved from that frame to the other hanging photos. There were four photos depicting four different women, more or less your age and similar in appearance to yours. Alongside these were other photos portraying instead what were unmistakably the victims’ bodies.

You were in complete shock.

What were the odds that the man stalking you was the same Jay was investigating on?

“C’mon let’s go,” Jay put his arm around your shoulders, leading you to the break room and closing the door behind him.

You weren't even crying. You were just completely shocked.

“Jay… He…” you stammered as if you were having trouble coordinating your thoughts. He put both of his hands on your shoulders.

“Baby, just breathe okay? Do it with me, take a deep breath.”

You shook yourself out of his grip, now in a panic. How could you calm down?

“He was… He would’ve killed me Jay, like… Like those women… Holy shit…” you continued to babble. You couldn't believe it. You understood that bastard was to be locked up somewhere, but you never, ever imagined he was a serial killer, that he’d done that before to those poor women. What if you didn't fight? What if he managed to overpower you?

Jay closed his hands into a fist, pressing his nails into his palms in an attempt to let out even a tiny bit of the anger, rage and fear he was feeling at the moment.

He didn't even want to imagine it, the thought was enough to make him sick. He didn't want to imagine what could happen to you. He run the risk of losing you forever without even realizing it.

Jay couldn't exist in a world where you weren't there. He couldn't even pass the idea of not having you next to him, the pain from this thought alone was unbearable and it was enough to make his heart shatter to pieces. Damn it, he asked you to marry him, you were his fiancée, his soon to be wife, the future mother of his children. You had to start a family together, buy a bigger house to raise your children and you’d live and grow old together, forever.

He couldn't accept some son of a bitch threatened to take you away from him, the most beautiful person he'd ever met, the love of his life, his anchor and his salvation.

“What happened to those women?” You asked, afraid to hear the answer.

“Baby…”

“No Jay, please, just… Just tell me. What happened to them?”.

Jay took a deep breath, knowing that telling you would only make you feel worse. “No, love. Listen to me now,” he walked over to you, placing a hand on your healthy cheek and stroking your skin with his thumb. “Don't torture yourself like this, it won't do you any good to know, please trust me. You were so brave and you managed to knock out that son of a bitch and now you're here with me, safe, so just think about this okay? I beg you. I don't even want to think about what happened to those poor women, I don't want to think something like that could’ve happened to you and I don't want you to think about it either.”

He was right. You didn't want to know, sometimes it was better to live in the unknown.

“I'm so proud of you,” he whispered, kissing your forehead as his fingers wiped away your tears with excruciating delicacy. “I would’ve died if anything had happened to you baby, I love you so, so fucking much. I couldn't have survived without you.”

“I love you so much Jay,” you too replied in a whisper before sharing a soft, sweet kiss, your nerves starting to finally calm down. “What happens now?”.

“You’ll stay here and we’ll continue to work non-stop until we catch that bastard.”

“Are you sure I can stay here?”.

“Is this even a question?” He looked at you as if you were an alien “Yes baby, of course you can. You have stay here. I need to know you're safe or I won't be able to think of anything else and I know nothing can happen to you if you’re here. If you need anything call me and I’ll be here okay? Try to get some rest, and put ice on your cheek.”

You nodded, knowing that even you wouldn't feel safe anywhere else but there in the district.

After sitting on the small sofa in the break room you eventually fell asleep, tired and worn out from the shift, the day's events and the lack of sleep from the previous night.

Jay and the rest of the team worked nonstop to try and locate the suspect whose name was still unknown. After learning you had hit his nose and you had probably broken it, they called the hospitals in the area and within a radius of about 20km – deducing he wouldn’t be so stupid to go to the hospital where you worked – with the hope that he’d go to get treated.

This hope turned out to be a reality when Kevin was told by a hospital just outside the city that there was a patient matching the description who was still there waiting to be treated for his broken nose.

When Jay went into the break room to warn you they'd found a lead, his heart skipping a beat seeing you asleep. Your head was resting on the back of the couch, your arms folded across your abdomen as your chest slowly rose and fell.

A sad smile spread across his face as he approached you with silent steps, his chest tightening at the sight of that horrible bruise on your cheek. As his eyes roamed on your body, he then noticed some scratches on your forearms and his stomach dropped again for the thousand time that night. He’d never forgive himself for not being able to help you, for failing to realize sooner what was happening, allowing someone to hurt you, he was hating himself for not being there to protect you.

He decided not to wake you up and he leaned over you, gently stroking your hair and tucking a strand behind your ear that had fallen in front of your face. He kissed your forehead, taking an extra second to savor the moment, grateful to still being able to do it.

“I love you so much my baby,” he whispered, “Everything will be okay, I promise you.”

After telling Trudy to stay by your side and never leave you alone, he headed towards the hospital where the suspect was supposed to be, his blood boiling with anger, his hands shaking with the frenzy of being able to have that son in his hands.

The stalker, however, after seeing the cops coming, didn't hesitate for a second to run away. Jay chased after him, determined not to let him get away.

“Chicago PD! Stop now!” Jay shouted as he quickly descended the emergency stairs and followed the man, skipping a few steps at a time in an attempt to reach him first. The fact the man was injured went to his advantage as Jay took the opportunity to jump on his back, causing both of them to fall heavily to the ground.

Jay's vision immediately blurred with anger.

He punched him in the face, using all the strength he had in his body to hurt him. “Son of a bitch!” He exclaimed through clenched teeth, punching him again and again. He didn't care about anything, he didn't care about the consequences there could be. He just wanted to see him suffer, to see him writhe in pain and fear, just the way you did.

“You made a fucking mistake tonight,” Jay spat, standing up and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, lifting him up like a sack of potatoes before slamming him heavily against the wall. The man coughed, letting out sounds of pain even if Jay couldn't care less. “You'll wish you’d never met her when I'm done with you, you worthless piece of shit.”

He hit him in the face with another punch, not caring about the blood splattered on him after each blow.

He didn't even realize he wasn't alone anymore. Voight was there and watched the scene without batting an eyelid. He deserved it, he deserved everything Jay would do to him, not just for you but also for those poor women who weren’t lucky enough to survive. He knew there was no way to stop him, even if he wanted to, especially since you were involved.

Jay hit the man's head against the wall, then pushing him to the ground. He approached him and without any mercy and without even acknowledging the man's suffering, he kicked him in the stomach.

“Fuck…” the man murmured weakly.

“Look at me you son of a bitch!” Jay cursed, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt again and punching him in the face. “You thought it was fucking fun to hurt my fiancée?!”.

Another strong punch.

“Answer me!” He shouted, knowing he’d not receive a response.

Jay had completely lost control.

His mind was only picturing your wounded and tear-stained face, your terrified expression, your eyes full of tears, the bruises on your arm, on your face, the scratches, the way you hugged him so tightly because of the terror you felt, the fear you must have felt in those weeks.

“You thought you’d get away with it huh?! Making my future wife's life a fucking hell?!” He growled again, kicking this time the man’s face. “Making her scared of her own fucking shadow?!”.

Another kick in the stomach.

He was about to kill him and he didn’t give a fuck.

He bent over the man who was then barely breathing. “Did you like putting your useless dirty hands on my girl, huh?” he hissed as his foot stepped on one of the man’s hand with so much force until he heard his screams and his bones cracking.

He didn't move anymore, now unconscious and covered in his own blood.

Voight intervened at that point, not even knowing if he was alive or not. “That's okay Jay, calm down now.” He placed his hands on his shoulders, pulling him away from the unconscious man. Jay was breathing heavily, as if he had just run a marathon, his angry eyes still focused on the bastard lying on the ground.

“Now get away from here. Go out from the emergency exit and drive back to your fiancée, you were always there with her okay? I’m sure she needs you now.” Voight had ordered him but Jay didn't respond at first. “Halstead.”

At that point Jay focused his gaze on his boss and nodded feebly, casting one last glance at the stalker before walking away.

He wiped his face and hands with a handkerchief he had found in the car, trying to ignore the pain in his swelled hand, his knuckles red.

He never regretted what he did.

He had always condemned the brutal ways some cops used, like his own boss did sometimes, but in that moment he didn't stop to think about how he’d not hesitate even a second to do it again and make suffer anyone who’d hurt you.

When it came to you he’d lose his mind, his judgment clouded. You were the most important person in his life, the most precious of treasures, and he’d protect you with his own life if he could, if it meant keep you safe forever. It may have seemed an exaggeration, it may have seemed crazy, but he didn't care, God, he would’ve burn the entire city to the ground if it meant protecting you.

And as he drove to the district, eager to see you again, only one thought ran through his mind: how much he regretted not making that piece of shit suffer more.

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[ozimagines]

Hello, this is another weird one: but a "dating would include" between Enrique Morales and Alonzo Torquemada? Personally I thought that it was an absolute crime that those two did not get any screen time together, which is probably where this is thought came from... But maybe it starts out as a power struggle for El Norte and then becomes an uneasy truce/alliance and then develops from there??? You could make it as toxic or as fluffy as you wanted if you were interested. Thank you for everything that you have written so far!!

Stop. Literally stop being more creative than I am. 😭❤️ Because absolutely I’m interested! Both of them are like the sly, genial evil that makes them such interesting characters. Plus both are flirty Doms😭😂 So, to make a long story short (too late!) yes, I’m writing the HELL out of this piece.

Enrique Morales dating Alonzo Torquemada would include… (1/?) First Meeting

Morales wasn’t killed at this point. They found out it was nurse Grace ahead of time and fired and prosecuted her.

Morales was relieved to say the least.

He gets out of the hospital only to find there’s a new head of the gays. Interesting. It had pretty much been Fiona since he’d been there.

They weren’t really a force he concerned himself with.

(Not that he hadn’t flirted with Fiona a bit. Could anyone blame him? There weren’t any women in Oz AND her contour game is crazy.)

He got the news from Chico, embarrassed and quiet since he’d gotten out. But that little brush with death gave him new perspective, so in the meantime, Chico lived.

Chico briefed him on the changes.

“And then there’s this new guy. Torquemada.”

“Latino? He joining El Norte?”

“Nah, he’s not one of us. He’s new leader of the gays.”

Morales made a note, but said it didn’t really concern them.

“It will. He’s already made deals with Chucky about moving D-Tabs.”

He explained Destiny in detail. Said he tried it and it rocked. More than heroin.

Now the is was interesting.

“Set up a meeting. I’ll give him the rundown of how things work around here.”

“Chucky too?”

“If I’m not at his, why should he be at mine?”

Chico nodded and made the necessary arrangements.

Later, in the classroom, Torquemada got there fashionably late. Morales knew better. It was a power move.

“Sorry about the tardiness, but fashion statements don’t make themselves.”

Morales nodded but said nothing. He stood with a good natured smile.

“Enrique Morales, leader of El Norte. Please, sit.” They both did, and Enrique added. “I do appreciate the suit. It makes a statement.”

Torquemada raised an eyebrow but stayed smiling. You had to. He knew both their smiles were fake. Knew Morales knew that too.

He was already different than the other leaders in Oz. Chucky told him to cut the fag shit immediately. Vern called him a fairy. Burr didn’t acknowledge him.

Alonzo knew he wasn’t your typical drug overlord, but he used his differences to his advantage. Never wasn’t himself.

“And what statement would that be?”

“Masculine power, feminine rage.” Morales said aloud. “It’s different. Contemporary. Me, I’m more traditional.”

“I’ve found the traditional way of doing things to be… restrictive.”

“Meaning?”

“That innovation is the future. That ways have to change to improve.”

Morales quirked his brow. It was bold.

“And what improvements need to be made here?”

Alonzo knew it was a dangerous question to answer, but he thrived on the danger, so he continued, making sure to choose his words wisely.

“Though your enterprise can move street drugs under the radar, we have to look to the future. Synthetics. Lab made, lab controlled. More accurate high, more accurate pricing.”

Morales thought for a second.

“And your designer drug of choice is this Destiny thing, huh?”

Torquemada bristles but his it all with a sly smile.

“¿Quieres festar?” He unsheathed a tiny bottle of green pills.

Morales’ eye twitched. So that’s the kind of dealer he was. First taste is free.

“No, gracias. I never touch my own product.”

Torquemada smiled genuinely. Morales was smart, that much was clear. A born business man. Torquemada held his hands up in defeat, and out the pills away.

“I can respect that.”

“And that’s what it’s all about, right? Respect. You respect our thing. We respect yours.”

“Respect.” Torquemada replied with a smile. “Can’t work without it.” He took in Enrique for a second, really letting his presence wash over Alonzo. “I don’t believe I properly introduced myself. I’m Alonzo. Torquemada. King of the night.”

Morales nodded genially.

“Pleasure, Alonzo.”

“No no, Mr. Enrique. The pleasure’s all mine.” He tutted, and crossed his legs. “You’re already the most stylish of the leaders I’ve met.”

“I try.”

They hammered out some of the details. Who would sell what and where.

“There is another concern of mine, perhaps you could help me. My foot soldiers, while capable and loyal, are not your typical dealers. And the other guys know that and refuse to buy from my team. Maybe some of your boys could lend their… credibility.”

Morales said as long as they received a percentage of the proceeds, then it shouldn’t be a problem. He listed off some men who he’d be willing to spare. Torquemada was grinning ear to ear. Morales asked why.

“It’s like you said. It’s all about respect. I expected to walk away with a business partner today, I won’t lie, but there’s something more here. An alliance of sorts.” He calculated the risk and then added; “I’m especially honored it’s with someone muy guapo.”

Morales stuttered internally but never let it show. He accepted the compliment and it was Torquemada’s turn to stutter step. He’d expected a little reaction. Fine, he’d have to dial it up. He found you could really tell who a man was when he was being flirted with by another man.

“It was a pleasure meeting with you, Alfonzo. How’s that old saying go? Think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”

“Likewise, chulo.” Alonzo prodded, and again, Enrique said nothing. Just smiled that genial, sly, secretive smile and went to his lieutenant.

Chico was still antsy around him; waiting for the revenge. Morales didn’t have any planned, but he did like that his lieutenant was so afraid by the mere idea of something.

He looked himself over in the mirror. Always admired his good looks, even if the other guys were too hetero to ever admit it. Torquemada was different. He wasn’t straight, sure, but that wasn’t where the differences ended.

There was a kind of unsettling togetherness about him. Like he was ten steps ahead. Usually the genial evil was his forte. That creepy calm before the storm.

But where Enrique was a quiet storm, Torquemada was a thunderstorm of rainbows and smiles and drugs and threats.

He smiled a little.

Innovation. Sure. He could go along with that…

[choccy-milky]

Hi! I started reading your story sometime in the last week and I’m OBSESSED! I normally don’t have much patience and can’t get myself to read anything past like 15k or anything that’s still being worked on, but your story hooked me almost instantly! I really liked the description and decided to give it a try and I’m so glad I did. The detailed descriptions you give pull me into the story and the way you seamlessly switch points of view feels so natural. I just wanted to let you know how much I’m enjoying reading so far and I’m excited for more! ❤️

AW TYSM😭😭 this means a lot, esp since ive been kinda self conscious about the length of my fic lately (and also how long its gonna end up being once im actually done LMFAO) and ik my chapters have gotten ginormous BAHAHA so im glad that even if you don't usually read long stuff you still gave my fic a try and enjoyed it so much + are looking forward to more!!💖💖so ty again😭🙏 AND as usual i'll be using this to answer other asks:

thank you and AA im glad to hear it!! a lot of people have been telling me ive been inspiring them to draw lately and i love it (im just sorry i dont have any concrete tips to give people other than keep practicing LOL) but good luck and i hope you keep at it!!🥰🥰

GIRL IDK, IDEK HOW LONG THE STORY IS GONNA BE, but assuming im still brainrotted even when its done then YEAH u wouldnt be able to stop me if you tried😊 (im glad you like them so much as well, ty!!😭)

thank you!! and yes i usually have at least a vague idea of what i want in the story before i start, though a lot of it didn't become concrete until i started writing/things evolving from there. i made a big (slightly) vague timeline of the entire fic from beginning to (almost) end, and then i keep fleshing it out from there as the ideas keep coming to me/evolving, and for each chapter i make an even more detailed outline, and THEN i get started on the final chapter. so its a bit of a process bahaha, but the brainstorming is really fun!! as for any advice, im not sure. maybe just brainstorm/write down scenes and ideas that you know for a fact that you want to put in your fic, and then try to find a way to connect them to other scenes from there and work backwards. basically WRITE WHAT YOU WANT TO READ, cuz like im my own biggest fan fr, thats the most important part LMAO

LMFAO speaking of outlining future events.....this may or may not happen in the future/in an epilogue when clora is pregnant and she got those pregnant woman hormones that seb is fighting for his LIFE to keep up with HAHAHA

ive been drawing since i was 4 years old so...a while. LOL. and if you even look back to the beginning of my blog, my first drawings of seb were SO UGLY💀💀 so if you just keep drawing you constantly get better naturally (also in response to the other ask you sent as well, i use clip studio paint to draw!)

AW TYYY. AND YES CLORA WILL HAVE ANOTHER MC MOMENT, the ranrok confrontation is still coming, after all...👀👀 and true, idek who would win if clora and seb duelled again with neither of them holding back, but u are so right. even if clora DID win that would do nothing to change sebs mind about how protective he is LMFAO. THANK YOU AGAIN im glad you like my fic + drawings so much!!💖💖

BAHAHAH in my fic (for smut reasons and so that they could be 17 when they did the nasty) i made clora's bday april 3rd and sebs february 12, so clora is an aries and seb is an aquarius (and yes i just checked and apparently they ARE compatible, so seb can rest. also i just read up on aquarius and damn it unintentionally suits seb so well?? LOL "Aquarius is undoubtedly the most innovative, progressive, rebellious, and humanitarian. " and "They have incredible energy, though they may not always use it wisely. They find it easy to get through life on charm and good looks." LMFAO. ok king we love that

[mister-mickey]

Tim x Darry headconnons plz (like if they can get married or what is it like if they have an adopted child) SORRY TO ASK SO MUCH I just love this ship and its really my favorite one

THANK YOU🙏🏻

Omg tarry is my favorite pairing, I have made these little ship headcanons as well (tarry hcs)

BUT onto these ones

They mostly bond over being both the leaders of their respective gangs and over taking care of their younger siblings ❤️

They are terrible with emotions, communication between them is like pulling teeth 😭

They also have a hard time with each others siblings. Darry CANT STAND curly and is scared of Angela. Tim gets along with both pony and soda but anytime he gets them into trouble darry gets mad at him.

He’s really rather not piss his beau off

They’ve known each other since they were kids (thanks to living in the same area) but were never friends. It was only really after Darry got more involved in greaser stuff that they got along lol

Tim can’t cook for shit. He tries but it sucks so bad. Darry keeps trying to help him but Tim is unhelpable.

Darry is aware that Tim can handle himself, but still gets protective when ppl talk about him. Tim gets mad every time (but also does the same thing)

And omg I’m all the way into this list realizing that I did not answer the other part of the question so I’ll do that now

So for marriage (not legal for homos in the 60s sadly, so I’m sure it’s just a celebration among friends and family) it probably takes them awhile. I can’t imagine either of them really wanting to settle straight away. Maybe they’re in their late twenties/early thirties

Tim probably moves into Darry’s house after pony and soda move out (and after angie and curly are well off enough to be alone)

Tim probably stops gang life in his twenties, just because he gets older and more mature (and not cool anymore) darry stops once the others stop.

For the wedding, again, family and friends. Probably in the form of a cookout at their house. They get rings but I don’t think either of them wear them (they don’t seem like jewellry wearers. They probably keep them on chains around their necks)

Pony officiates lol. Idk I just feel like he would. Soda cries the whole time (Steve has to physically pull him off of darry)

I imagine dally and curly pulling some sort of nonsense at the wedding to piss Tim off (yes I’m choosing to keep dally and Johnny alive)

Tim’s gang isn’t really his family, at this point in his life, he probably doesn’t even know them anymore. So it’s just curly and Angela at the wedding for him.

Darry ofc is the one that people came to see (mr star of the show)

As for a kid, I’d like to say they probably wouldn’t have one, at least not for a while. They both raised their little siblings, they aren’t eager to do it again.

BUT it’s also cute to imagine them having a baby (especially because of how tim is canonically good with babies)

Idk where they got it. Maybe it was left in their doorstep, idk. Fact is, they have a child

Tim wants to be the cool dad but darry has taken that spot without even trying.

Baby adores darry because he’s strong and can throw it in the air ❤️

Tim is jealous ofc. He’s way cooler than darry, the baby just isn’t smart enough to see that yet

Baby still loves him a lot though 🌸

They’re good dads. Not perfect ofc, but they love the baby and the baby loves them.

Now as for the baby’s one million uncles and one aunt.

Angela LOVES the baby. Like, darry is worried she will steal it. She’s always trying to get the baby to say her name (baby calls her “Ana”)

Twobit is next on people taht are obsessed with the baby. I’m sure he has his own kids (seems like the type tbh) but the baby is DARRYS kid. He can’t wait until it’s old enough to be a bad influence on

Dallas is not allowed near the baby because Tim refuses to put the baby down when he’s around (he thinks dally will somehow corrupt his >1 year old and make it dally jr)

Soda is the best uncle by far. He and Johnny are very soft with the baby. Soda is, however, guilty of dropping the baby. He is no longer allowed to hold the baby.

Johnny is scared to hold the baby, but once it’s walking he will play (very gently)

Steve, curly, and pony are the babies worst enemies. Baby fucking hates them so much and it breaks their hearts.

Baby bites steve any chance it gets. Hits him, grabs his nose (which everyone else thinks is adorable but Steve sees it for the attack that it is) Steve has no clue what he did but the baby is his #1 hater

Baby doesn’t like pony. Wont even look at him. Pony adores the baby and this rejection hurts.

Curly and the baby tussle quite often. Baby loves yanking his curls (getting its grubbing fingers tangled in, as someone with baby experience, ow ow ow) if the baby pulls his hair, he pulls the baby’s hair right back. They are sworn enemies.

He loves the baby ofc but keeps a careful distance.

Baby grows up to be an okay kid. Can’t do anything without darry or tim finding out since they both know EVERYONE.

Idk someone name the baby my brain is mush

[my-castles-crumbling]

My opinion of you? Hmmmm. Well honestly, my opinion of you… really fucking good.

I dunno how comfortable you are with compliments so i’m putting a little warning here; compliments incoming :)

Firstly, you are an awesome writer. Like genuinely. Plus it’s so impressive that you write/post those microfics everyday, it’s serious (sirius haha) dedication, and most ppl wouldn’t have it in them to keep a routine like that. 

Two, you have legit saved people. People here felt safe enough to ask you for help, and from all i’ve seen, you’re damn good at giving advice. 

Plus I saw that one anon you answered where you told the person not to admit they cheated if it’d get them in more trouble than they deserve, and I salut you for that. (I remember you also told them that cheating is wrong and mostly don’t do it- don’t worry I got the right message). 

Anyway, my point is, there aren’t many places people feel safe enough to talk about their problems or insecurities or even dangers. Especially on the internet. So you’ve made a really good community here. You should be proud. 

But we’re doing full honesty right? So honestly, I think that it seems like sometimes you don’t have enough faith in yourself. 

I mean your fics are amazing, but also, they’re fucking free and a gift to the fandom. So you shouldn’t feel the need to meet anyone’s demands or be good enough for anyone but yourself. 

And here, you have helped so many people, I understand insecurity is a part of living, but maybe you don’t get how helpful your blog is. Whenever I come on here, you’ve posted a microfic or made a marauders joke or truly helped someone (with annoyingly good advice btw, i’m an adult and yet NO WHERE NEAR as mature, so good on u), and it’s soothing. You’re soothing.

Give yourself credit, is what i’m saying. 

You’re allowed to feel proud that you help people, proud that people love your writing, and ignore anyone who’s an asshole cause they’re dumb anyway.

And don’t forget that you don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t owe anyone a fic, or a tumblr post or an anon answer or even (within reason) kindness. You’re being generous with your time and your kindness by helping people. And while obviously that’s a good thing, you shouldn’t feel pressured to do so. 

Wait let me rephrase that- anyone who pressures you to do so is a bad person and should be strongly ignored. 

You don’t have to apologise for not wanting to post or be on social media. And anyone who cares should value that you’re taking time for yourself. 

Plus, and sorry if it’s weird to bring up your like, real life, but I think you’re probably a really great teacher. I didn’t have many people who believed in me growing up and you seem like someone who believes in people. And that’s what matters most. 

(Plus all teachers are criminally underpaid so like- good for you sticking with a half shitty job- though then again all jobs are half shitty) 

Also, and in this day and age this is a truly high compliment, you don’t seem like you’ve ever sent hate. 

You just have that vibe. You know… nice :)

So yes, that is my opinion of you.

Also, random question, how much gory stuff in films can you take? Usually i’m pretty alright, but I watched a pretty gross film earlier and it reminded I can’t watch everything gory. 

So yeah… that’s all ❤️

Hi, um...I am SO sorry, my my allergies are terrible and I seem to be sweating from my eyes....nothing to see here...😭😭😭😭

Thank you. Genuinely. I have honestly been struggling a fair amount lately, so notes like this make a much bigger difference than you would think <3

As far as films, I'm alright with gore. I actually LOVE horror films, but I prefer psychological horror and horror based on East Asian legends.

Thank you again <3 <3 <3

[sebastiansluts]

Roseee I appreciate that you’ll write my idea but like it’s rlly ok if you don’t cause I don’t want you to burn out (your mental health should and always come first), but also mean dark bucky is everything 😩 he can can punch me, kick me, pull my hair, I am a-ok being stabbed, biting and scratching are on the table, he can use fire. But srsly he can humiliate me and I’ll be saying thank you (the hold this man has on me) also wanna ask do you read monster fics? If you do what’s ur fav monster bucky? I used to love werewolf bucky (still do but not as much)but ever since I read orc bucky that’s all I’ve been thinking cause size kink🙌🏻

P.s just an idea but if you do write bully!bucky can you add like public humiliation like he flips her skirt in front of everypne or pulls on her clothes and randomly slaps her (face and boobs) or gives wedgies etc and a super fluff aftercare cause obsessed and soft dark bucky is also everything 🤧

Another p.s I wish I could just pc you but tumblr won’t let me send messages to anyone and it’s so frustrating and I’m sorry if I send this shit too much and annoys you I just don’t know who else to talk so yea just tell me if I annoys you 😭🫶🏻 anyway as always hope you have a great day

~ one and only beluga

I love you so much, thank you for watching out for me!! I promise I'll keep my mental health first, but I am 100% writing some mean bucky!!! I am already thinking of things to write, because I'm high af rn and my brain is whirring. But yes I do read some monster fics! more a/b/o if any, but i'm having a weird thing lately for vampire!bucky 🥴🧛‍♂️ i'm always here for size kink!!

yes of course I will add that!! I'm thinking it's gonna be a tower fic but like anti-avengers or something idk. like on the boys, everyone thinks they're good but they're actually horrible. but then bucky always makes her feel better in the end because he's gotta make his girl feel good. *edit* OR 1940s bucky!!!!!

also I totally understand that frustration!! That's what happened to me when I was shadowbanned, I couldn't message anyone :/ Don't apologize, I love these messages!! They make me so happy every time I see them, I always try to make sure I can answer them properly! You never annoy me! ❤️

[leewonkyeom]

Oh no ): I hope you feel better soon! being sick is literally the worst

And LISTEN, I love seventeen and I love reading, so put those two things together and I’ll be occupied for DAYS!!! I love just going through peoples’ masterlists and reading everything they’ve written, so ofc I had to give your works that same love and attention that it DESERVES

I’ve been pretty good! I got sick a few weeks ago, and few days before that I had an allergic reaction and had to go to the hospital (……again LOL) but that’s a whole other story…

I’m so glad that yn and Wonwoo got everything sorted out and I’m especially glad that dk and wonu are friends now 🥺🥺

And honestly I don’t remember much about himym either but that episode stuck in my brain for whatever reason and I always think back to it when taking a picture.

Hi, sorry for the late answer😭 I've just been taking the opportunity to take a break from tumblr while i don't have anything to post

i literally got better (went on antiobiotics💪), but then i got sick again🙃

awee thank you!! i'm glad you enjoy my works!❤️ i really appreciate it

i hope you're healthy again though! and getting an allergic reaction is the worst omg i'm glad it went well !! like as in you survived it, not by ending up in the hospital😭

yes, i just wanted all of them to end up friends tbh😭 but esp dk and wonwoo needed a redemption😌

yeah, same here😭 it's so weird that that episode stuck with us !!

[lostinfantasyworlds]

HELLOOOO 🥳 I'M HERE TO ASK ABOUT LE WIP CHALLENGE GAME. Can you share with me more about:

The First and Last

If It Kills Me

Untitled Royal AU

🥰🥰🥰 (this is Fandom hahah)

HII @fandomobsessions016!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! ❤️❤️  (also sorry for taking so long to respond)

I answered asks about all three, but I'm happy to provide any extra tidbits I can think of!!

The First and Last - (Here is my introductory post about this fic that includes the summary, tags, and a snippet! and here is the previously answered ask for the WIP game that includes another snippet)

Even though I have about 30k words written, it’s all so rough and subject to change that I sadly don’t have any other snippets to share at the moment😭. But here’s a random list of some things you can expect to find in this fic (all between Inuyasha and Kagome):

Smoking weed together on a playground (late at night when no children are around lol) and reminiscing about old times

An impromptu heart-to-heart after Inuyasha discovers an emo song on Kagome’s iPod (the chapter takes place in 2008, when iPods were still a thing😂)

A flashback where 13-year-old Kagome gives Inuyasha a folded up note (yes, like this😆) with her AIM screen name written on it

A hot and heavy makeout session during a fireworks show

A drunken, silly-turned-romantic slow dance at a wedding

If It Kills Me - (Previously answered ask that includes the summary and tags can be found here!)

Honestly I can’t think of much else to say about this one because pretty much everything is spoilers 😂 I’m sorry! The only thing even mildy interesting I can think of to share is that this will actually be my first time writing Sesshomaru as a character into one of my stories. I am both excited and nervous lol. I might end up including a bit of SessKagu, but I haven’t pinned down what I want Kagura’s role to be yet, or if she’ll definitely even be in it at all.

Untitled Royal AU (Here’s where I introduced this fic, including a snippet)

For this one, I have another rough snippet! This actually picks up right where the snippet in the first post left off 🥰

Desperately seeking more, Inuyasha cast his tongue into her open mouth, his knees nearly buckling from the sound of her soft moan. Before he knew it, his hands were tangled in her hair and he was taking a few steps until her back met the rough stone wall. Her fingertips dug into his back even through the thick leather he wore, and they were both breathless within seconds, kissing as if the fate of the world depended on it.

It took far longer than it should have for reality to dawn on him, reminding him what he was doing there in the first place, who he was, why he had been keeping his distance. Abruptly releasing her, he took a frightened step back. 

Kagome looked a mess with her hair disheveled, her parted lips reddened from the bruising force of his kiss, and her chest heaving as she stared at him with wide eyes. It was the most beautiful, enticing sight he’d ever seen….and also made him realize just how much he’d screwed up.

“Fuck.” He took a couple more steps away from her, but this time she followed him. 

“Inu —”

“I — I shouldn’t have done that,” was all Inuyasha could manage before he turned around and fled like the coward he was, scared shitless by the intensity of the feelings that had just bubbled up within him, and the way he saw something similar reflected in her eyes. 

Thank you so much again for the ask @fandomobsessions016!! 😘

[rowanaelinn]

It’s that time of the week!!

Sooo I think that Aelin was in a car accident leading to her leg injury seeing Aedion’s comment about him not driving fast when he’s with her.Her father is probably in a coma cuz she called her mother asking about him and not him directly.Also her mom saying he’s stable.Now about his injury I’m unsure. Yes, Rowan’s dad might have crashed him, but then it wouldn’t make sense for Rowan to see them as the bad guys.Unless his father also suffered…but it would make both sides clearly stupid blaming the other.That makes me think that maybe Aelin was in a car accident with her father and Rowan knows nothing.If that’s true then the cause of all of this is another thing.Maybe it happened at that last party mentioned…It’s clearly some huge misunderstanding seeing their huge hatred for each other.Anyways I’m glad Rowan noticed her leg hurting.I’m literally dying to read about them reuniting.Damn…

Can I ask for a snippet pretty please?!🥺

I also need u to tell me how life’s going for you.We really care for you as a person apart from your writing yk

Lots of love <3

AHHHHH I AM SO SORRY FOR ANSWERING LATE!!!!!

first no snippet but…. chapter four will be posted in two minutes 👀👀👀

and those theories…. they are so good. i love how you think of so many possibilities and how which chapter would act! honestly you guys are all so good at theory and i love to see it all😭

life is…. well it’s going! quite hard at the moment but it’s gonna get easier soon! thank you so so much for caring, it does mean the world to me ❤️

[bee-a-lover]

your last chapter in Plan F 😭

I am. IN AGONY!!!!!

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 24 of PLAN F

I need to know what happens next, where do they go to next, the Van Eck mansion?? that forest/lake vacation house?? the Slat?? how do they carry an unconscious Wylan and Kaz + Juni back? does Inej have to let go of Kaz and allow Matthias to carry him? (PAINFUL) I bet Matthias recognizes the name Juni, at least vaguely. god, I can't wait to see his reaction, and they're all there but Nina and now there's this baby... is Wylan gonna have to go through some sort of withdrawal (ouchie) but he's ultimately gonna be okay right 🥺??

THE LITTLE KANEJ CRUMBLES BROKE ME 🤧 "what happened to your hair? & that's my line" OUCHOUCHOUCH I am in pain. kanej my beloveds I can't wait to see into Inej's thoughts, I bet it's mostly kazkazkazkazkazkazkaz but sigh. I love her so much and them and they're back together now and Kaz is all hurt and starving and sleep deprived and maybe on the verge of hypothermia and absolutely exhausted and injured and bleeding and and and. I won't be able to get this out of my head any time soon oof. thanks a lot for a great chapter and GOD MY MIND IS IN SHAMBLES

hi!! wooah no one’s ever reached out to me about this fic on tumblr before ur making me feel cool haha AHH ok.

i’m sorry for the agony!! i’m… trying to make up for it?? eventually??? … it’s the little things that count

it’s kinda funny that u asked about how they carried kaz + juni + wy back all that way because i purposefully skimmed over that particular practical detail hoping nobody would notice ;’) it’s a valid question, one i struggled to answer myself but since you caught me, here goes…

matthis and jesper probably carried kaz and wy, inej carried juni and held onto the hostage?? the hostage is vry scared of jes so he wouldn’t try anything, though his captors’ hands being quite full presents the opportunity. it’s a long way but they’ve got their horses, they’ve got their wagon, it’s all goooood.

matthias might recognize juni’s name yes… the question is whether he wants to… denial is a pretty powerful thing.

as for wylan… not quite withdrawal because van rooij did promise him he wouldn’t need to be dependent on the drug to continue experiencing its long-lasting effects after she shipped him off.

i made the specifics and nature of the drug vry intentional because it’s not just going to be important to wy’s storyline going forward, but the plot as a whole.

sorry i’m being purposefully vague because i don’t wanna spoil anything about the coming chapters!!

as for kanej, i’m vry happy u enjoyed the chapter 24 crumbs, u have no idea how hard it was to stick to the plan for the chapter to end with kaz passing out after dropping the vaguest hints of information (like the drama king he is). i was tempted to keep him awake just so he and inej could catch up on cuddling in the sand, but that might’ve been a lil awkward with the others also there experiencing like several separate crises lol. they had to move on, they’ve got things to do

hopefully chapter 25 gave u some of of the kanej fix you were hoping for! much more to come of course, i could write them endlessly

thank you sm for sharing ur thoughts with me! ur so kind and ur interaction with my silly little fic makes my day ❤️ sorry i’m a bit late to reply, i need to turn my tumblr notifs back on but i rly appreciate hearing from you!

i’m currently editing chapter 26 so that’ll be up soon (and hopefully do a better job answering some of your questions than i did here).

thanks again!

[nottsangel]

alright i’ll be sure to drop some hcs whenever i can, but always let me know if you need a pick me up too! the movie one is so strong in my head i’d probably drop a small blurb in the inbox 😂

literally, my music library is all over the place. i’d have kpop, songs from the 2000s, movie soundtracks and even classical ones! but i’m always open to listening to new genres :) i’m doing okay so far, just woke up and first thing i did was check your page hehehe. is there any particular reason you’re not looking forward to your birthday? (no need to share if it’s too personal) besides that, i hope you are feeling somewhat refreshed and motivated to continue studying (WITH BREAKS IN BETWEEN!! AND WATER!!). just think that when your exams finish, your free and stranger things vol.2 will be out to reward you of your hard efforts 😊

also yes, i literally devoured the eddie fic and i am swooning. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS ROLLING AROUND SQUEALING INTO MY PILLOWS AHHHHHHH HE’S SO SOFT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 🥺❤️ YOUR WRITING MAKES ME MELT BECAUSE HE IS SOFT BOI 🥹 but yes, i can tell it was a wee bit rushed. please take this feedback as constructive criticism, and not as an insult, but i think pacing is key for really intimate moments like this (especially if it’s the readers first). even if it means writing a lot more to build up to the climax (👀), it should be relevant to the experience being told. usually my go to is the five senses; expanding on them for the reader to feel the story. for an example, emphasise how much Eddie has been crushing on reader - would his touch be more gentle, but restraint due to his longing? what other sounds were being made in the room? by writing more upon the five senses, it creates tension and anticipation between the characters, and furthermore to the reader. idk if my feedback makes any sense/helps at all, but this is my penny for thought. i still enjoyed this fic regardless and hopeful to read more in the future :)) - 🌙

i’m so so sorry for my late reply!!! ): and please please i’m begging you give me some more hcs because my exam is in less than 2 days 😵‍💫

it’s so so cute that the first thing you did was checking my page 🥹 now i feel even worse for responding so late AAAH </3 oh and to answer your question about my bday, i just HATE having all the attention on me ☹️ i just feel like i don’t deserve it you know, all the love, attention and presents and id much rather give it all to someone else, that’s why i always look forward to other people’s birthdays lmao 😭 yes volume 2 will be out on the exact day that i have my last exam so i’m really looking forward to it!! i’m also thinking about rewatching everything because i don’t remember anything from season 1 and 2

thank you so much for the feedback, im glad you enjoyed it at least a bit though 😵‍💫 i 100% know everything i did wrong, i was too stressed with school and more focused on finishing the fic than actually writing it and the stress made it worse, so ive decided to take a break from writing because i makes me so sad that my fics are getting worse because of everything ): i should just take the time again to write it without all the pressure, but i’ll def keep everything you’ve said in mind!! im usually really bad with criticism like really bad but in the end, i really do appreciate it and im so thankful that you at least gave some compliments as well 😭💞💓💗

[berryunho]

hiii I love love The Answer 😭 it’s so fun to read I literally cannot wait to see what happens next. I was wondering, what inspired you to write this story? was there any specific stories/cults that you’ve heard of that you took inspiration from? I love thriller stories so muchdkfk so I’m just so happy to have found your blog!! also do you usually read thriller or do you prefer reading other genres? tysm for sharing your work you’re so talented!!!❤️❤️❤️

omg hi!! first of all thank you so much for reading hehe i'm really glad to hear that you're enjoying it!! and aaaaaaa thank you for the questions omg this might get kinda long (edit from future lauren: yeah it did so im adding a read more lol) but im excited hehe

sooo to answer the first question of what inspired me hehe it was definitely a mix of a few things!! biggest inspiration was me reading mists of celeste and being like "what the fuck. can i do that?" bc ... im sure you've all read it and yk what i mean LMAO its just so good and i wanted to know if i could write something as impactful hehe i had already been a writer but i had never shared my writing or tried to write a longfic so it was a big challenge to start and im so happy i did!!

and soooo after i decided i wanted to write my own fic i figured some things out like i definitely wanted to do an au and i pretty quickly decided that i wanted hongjoong to be an antagonist so i started pondering what situations make Bad People into People Of Power and ... the cult idea plopped nicely into my brain and then everything started falling into place after that hehehe

and YES there are specific cults ALKJFKDJFDK the way im majorly freaking out getting to talk about this thank you again for asking omg anyways. scientologists (so sorry if any of you are scientologists but fr...) heaven's gate. branch davidians (mullet hj is canon in the answer for 1 reason and 1 reason only. david koresh’s mullet.) and like ofc the manson family and the people’s temple (though more so just jim jones himself idk that whole 900 people thing… not intimate enough for the vibe i was going for) and honestly the characterization of hongjoong is derivative of a few irl people too LKFJSDFKLJSD like im not gonna name names bc then yall would be like “oh god …” and judge yourselves so ill save you the torment lol but you could Probably Guess

and yes!! i definitely mostly read thriller/horror novels hehe but i also really love fantasy & sci-fi & lately historical fiction ?? and my favorite book ever is none of those genres hehe i would love any and all recommendations for any of these genres!! i know you didn’t ask this one but im gonna give some book recs anyhow hehehe so my Favorite Book Ever — the secret history by donna tartt … literally in love w this book. the amount of times ive pondered an au…… shhhh my Second Favorite Book Ever — the long walk by stephen king. idk what to say other than literary masterpiece. (its actually super weird but the characters … ugh chefs kiss) the Scariest Book Ive Ever Read — gerald’s game by stephen king. there were just moments of tension that were so perfectly written that it was almost unbearable like wtf not to be that person but like fr i dont get scared by books or movies or documentaries or anything but … yeah this was something an Interesting Series — the southern reach trilogy by jeff vandermeer !! crazy world building very intriguing books a Fantasy Novel — the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon … yes i know booktok book but it was really good okay a Historical Fiction — circe by madeline miller !!!! bawled but it was really good !!! annnnd a Sci-Fi — project hail mary by andy weir ... glakdjfkasj me feeling emotions over a rock alien ... anyways

… SO YEAH AKDJFASDKFJ; THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THE ANSWER AND FOR ASKING ME QUESTIONS AAAA i hope i provided some good commentary lol idk hehehe tysm ily <3

[mystickinds]

Hello! Sorry for the late response but thank you so much for the reading:) I really appreciate it! It was incredibly encouraging and very much what I needed to hear! I’ve been unproductive but really have been trying to understand that I don’t need to be doing something all the time but at the same time it’s difficult to not feel that way because it really does seem like I am ALWAYS procrastinating the things I need to do in order to achieve my goals😞 but your reassurance was very comforting and I love it a hundred times over! I’ll definitely consider getting a paid reading (maybe on my personal account), I’ve never seen someone offer so many different types of readings😭 although I have to say I’m a bit confused about the length you listed for your readings? What do you mean by 12ft for you half and full pages? Thanks again for the reading<33!!

i believe in you, you got this ❤️ it won't always be this difficult and I'm sure you will get through the rough patches. Glad to hear my reading is comforting and looking forward to read for you ☺️

Hehe yes i love having variety in my readings and always find a way to spice them up.

So it would be on a Doc file! Basically 12ft is the size of the text, it would be half page in the doc file or a full page. Full page having a longer, fuller more detailed reading.

Hope that answers your question!

[scholarhect]

HI sorry if this is late but for the DE ask meme umm 3, 6, & 8 teehee ❤️

omg it’s not too late bestie tysm 💞

3. i haven’t done too much reading into all the coppotypes & i’ve only played once so legally i have to say sorry cop. it’s SO funny though, i thought i was saying sorry a pretty reasonable amount (i had a lot to be sorry for!!!), and then i got the thought calling me the ~sorriest cop in revachol~ and i was like “what? no! fuck you!!” i am many things (including “sorry”), but “willing to accept mean labels” is NOT one of them. so i chose the “fuck off (reject thought)” option. & the game was like “fuck off? man. i guess i had you wrong. you’re not as sorry as i thought” like no i am i just absolutely resent you saying that 😭😭 so technically i didn’t get to play as any real coppotype. and i kind of tried to cut down on the apologizing after that because embarrassing. but kim still said at the end that i apologize way too much and it’s cringe. which i also resented

ALSO i started noticing more how much i say sorry irl. i don’t say excuse me or anything like that, it’s always sorry. and i figured it was just a quirk of language or whatever but sometimes people will be like “don’t be sorry” or even “it’s okay” and i won’t be expecting it. because i’m like… all i said was “sorry”. it was just a part of the expression. so disco made me think about my incessant sorriness irl. thanks i guess

favorite political alignment: again, im not familiar with more than one of these in depth, but i loved running around communisming it up. i didn’t get to go to the communist meeting though because i got shot :(( good times though good times

6. what do i like about the game… omg that’s so open ended. but like yes i can talk abt why i enjoyed it. i had SO much fun running around doing my little tasks (haha amogus) trying to solve my little murder (haha amogus!!! a body has been spotted!!!). i like playing a game & being immersed in a little world for a while, which is probably how all video games work, but i don’t play that many… so it’s still special to me lmao. also i (predictably) liked kim a lot. every day i just wanted to get home so i could try to solve my little murder & hang out with kim my friend kim

8. favorite line!! i’m usually so bad at singling out one favorite thing like this, but i actually had an answer prepared so ty for asking lmao 😭😭

BANGER!!!! game thesis perhaps 🤔 its allll about looking at the world with its best & its worst and loving it for it all. and fighting for it where you can. also he popped the fuck off. a lot of the lines where you learn the most abt kim (here, we see a rare admission to feeling any sort of optimism or ideals) come when he’s defending himself against some horrific insult. which is kinda sad. but also good for him for popping the fuck off

anon thank youuuu ily ily