#so. batshit terrified right now lace my love please stay safe

[svcrecy]

(Hey Toby! My beloved mutual.

Please take your time with writing this is not meant to stress you but

If you really did revoke my Karkat privileges then 🔪🔪 how DARE you someone needs to adopt that crabby troll and it's going to be Rex /lh

Love your writing have a good day no stress~ )

Felix :).

First off, I am reaching through the screen at you because I cannot possibly explain the TERROR the first five words of that message actually invoked in me.

" Oh God, " I thought. " Have I accidentally sent him nothing but the word piss over and over instead of the correct starter or something? "

But, no. Fortunately.

And in terms of Karkat, yes, you're never getting his starter /j you will have to suffer alone and trollless for the rest of your life for your crimes <3

He's comin, he's comin. I promise. It's just that every muse has to participate in an entire mental battle royale to get written for, and currently M-E is somehow winning lmao

Also, I will have a terrible day with so much stress just to spite you /j ( but also yes I love your writing too I cannot comprehend how you can make me hate rex and feel for him at once it's actually amazing )

[angeryboy]

Kintsukuroi

Part 5- Himaro and Yuna

Before his hand could close completely around your throat, Yuna pushed herself onto her feet and kicked him off with a brutal hit to the shoulder that sent him flying into the bar. "Fucking stop it." Her glare made the room feel several degrees colder as she laced her hand through yours and pulled you up, your red teary-eyed face feeling hot as you coughed and sputtered.

"She ruined everything," he muttered, scratching his neck ten times faster than you'd ever seen before.

"You gave me more than a couple chances too! The least you could do is afford everyone else the same kindness! And it wouldn't have mattered anyway! The heroes had a plan before Bakugo even woke up. It would've always ended like this, Himaro or not." She stood resolutely in front of you, and even though she was significantly shorter, you felt safe. Everyone looked at you both with a defeated look in their eyes. So this was why Yuna was a leader among them. She was level-headed and passionate at the same time.

Tomura's eyes never left you, big and vicious. But he didn't seem keen on taking Yuna on just to get to you.

"We didn't plan for this. It's not just her fault. And you idiots didn't see the look on her face when Bakugo escaped. So you can get off her back, or you can take it up with me," she spat, scanning the room for anyone brave enough to do it. No one seemed willing to go toe-to-toe with her. They just sat there, shocked and tired looking. "Now if you'll excuse me, the love of my life is knocked out and he isn't waking up." Carefully, she treaded over to Dabi, never taking her eyes off Tomura, wound up tight and ready to explode. She picked him up with stunning ease and left the rest of you in silence.

The only thing you could do was sink to your knees, forehead hitting the floor. There were so many feelings swirling around in your heart.

Why did I do that? Why did I tell him to escape? I just proved again that I'm not good enough. And I almost lost my life this time.

Nobody moved from their spots on the floor for what seemed like a long time. --------- Eventually, you picked your head up. Tomura was still sitting in the same spot he'd landed in, but he had a distant, far off look in his eyes. It was like he never tried to murder you ten minutes ago.

"Tomura, I'm sorry." You could barely see his hazy face through the tears, but you could tell his eyes met yours slowly.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow. I have something I need to do." He vanished seemingly into thin air, and you found yourself on the roof. You also found Yuna on the roof.

"Did Dabi wake up?" You asked gently.

"Yeah. He's okay. Major concussion, but nothing time won't fix. Are you okay?" She turned a wary eye in your direction.

"Yeah. Thanks to you I am."

She smiled a bit, still covered in dirt and blood. "I wasn't expecting him to react like that. I thought he got better at it, but I guess genuine compassion is hard to come by. He'll come around."

"I fucked it up," you blurted.

"Yeah. So what? Fucking All Might was there. What were we supposed to do? Fight the man who nearly killed All for One? You did fuck it up. If he was under your control, it would've been impossible for those kids to save him. I know that, and Shigaraki knows that. But it seems like your quirk didn't work on him anyway. So learn from this. What happened out there?" 

Your feet found their way to the ledge right next to her, pulling your knees to your chest as you sat down. "I froze up. He's-he's just a kid, Yuna. He's a little fucking kid and I-he looked like me. He reminded me of me. Determined to prove everyone wrong, but terrified, like-like someone who knows they don't have the power to do it. I couldn't force him into this-” You motioned to yourself.

“It’s okay. I get that. But if that’s the case, then why did you insist on joining? Recruiting is the most basic thing we do. We were never going to hurt him.” She raised a brow, but you weren’t sure what kind of answer she was expecting.

“I don’t know now. I wanted the support for my own selfish reasons. Because I have people to prove wrong. But now I- I don’t even know how to explain it.” You looked up at the moonless night sky, no light from the stars coming through. Everything was lost to the dark up there.

“Most of us did. But most of the people in this League are batshit crazy, too.”

You laughed softly. “Are you including Dabi?”

“Oh, absolutely. He’s terrifying and often times more like a feral boar than a man. But we love a man with no inhibitions. He’s got his convictions, and I don’t necessarily agree, but I haven’t been able to do much about them. Can’t say I blame him for feeling the way he does. I just wish-never mind.” She shook the whole thought out of her head before looking over the edge.

“So you joined for the support too?” You asked.

“Not exactly. Honestly- and I’ve never told anyone this, so don’t repeat it-but I joined to keep tabs on Dabi. Not that that would be shocking information to anyone, but people think that makes me weak or stupid, and then I prove them wrong by kicking their ass smartly. They think that you can’t do something for someone else without losing yourself. And I think if you’re smart about it, you can love someone as much as you want and be as amazing as you can be a the same time.” She started pacing around the roof, hands in her pockets. “People think I’m just living my life for him. But I lived without him for a long time. And I was fine, but I wasn’t, ya know? I’d rather have him, whatever that means.”

“I think loving someone means accepting every part of them. Even the bad ones. Or the feral ones. I’m a little jealous, honestly. You make it look so easy.” She let out a startlingly loud laugh.

“Hah! Don’t be. A man like Dabi would eat you alive and you wouldn’t even notice. It’s...a lot of work to stay out of the mouth of the beast. But I guess we’re both into bad boys,huh?” She was leaning over your shoulder now, giving you a suggestive look with her eyebrows raised.

“What are you-?”

“I saw that look on your face when Shigaraki jumped on you. It wasn’t all terror,” she mentioned slyly, patting you on the shoulder. You could feel your face heating up forty degrees and turning bright red.

“Listen, I-that isn’t-” You didn’t really honestly have words. You yourself didn’t even notice it until she pointed it out.

“Ah ah. No need for explanations,” she held a hand up to stop you talking. “I get it. Obviously. Just be careful. Shigaraki is the successor of a very dangerous man. He’s been cultivated in a darkness I’m sure we haven’t experienced. You know, because we’re relatively normal. And obviously, he’ll kill you. So there’s that.”

“I don’t think he will-”

“Were you, uh, in there twenty minutes ago?” She interjected.

“I really don’t. A couple of weeks ago when he took me out, we sat on top of a building and talked. He told me not to be afraid of my failures.”

“Oooohhhh. So when he says it, you’ll listen? I see how it is. But when I say it, you cry on the floor for ten minutes.” She pouted for a moment.

“I clearly didn’t. You said it yourself. I was useless, my quirk was useless, and I was so embarrassed about it I couldn’t move a muscle, and I couldn’t even make it up later. My fears got the best of me again. You said I wasn’t ready, and you were right. I’m sorry I got mad about that. You do seem to be in tune with those kinds of things.”

She smiled again. “You can do this. That much I know for sure. Honestly, the way you are is you. The less time you spend trying to fight it, and the more time you spend trying to cultivate it into something you can use, the better off you’ll be. We all have glaring weaknesses that we have to overcome.”

“Wow. My whole personality is a weakness, huh?”

“Well that’s-maybe for being a villain. But you’ll just have to find a way around it. Don’t ask me for any tips thought. I got-” Yuna was interrupted by the roof door creaking open again, Dabi spilling awkwardly out onto the concrete. “What the hell are you doing out of bed!?” She yelled.

“I’m hungry,”he mumbled.

“Are you also seven? In case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t fucking Denny’s: Rooftop Edition. And you can make yourself something if you can get all the way up here.”

He groaned for a good twenty seconds. “But I was hopin’ you’d make me somethin’, doll. I got pretty banged up back there,” he whined, rubbing at his head.

Yuna’s face fell flat and she responded just as flatly. “You passed out after you got kicked in the head by an old man.” You couldn’t hold in the wholehearted laugh.

“See? It’s really just funny.”

“Please?”He pouted.

“Jesus Christ, fine! Just go back to bed and I’ll make you something in a minute. We’re having girl time.”

His eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Gross.”

“Get out of here!” She shooed him down the stairs before sitting back down.

“Did you-do you really think I’m not ready for this?” You weren’t totally sure you were ready to hear the answer to that.

“I told you we’ll see. And we saw didn’t we? Luckily this time it wan’t just a major failure on your part. We lost Bakugo to a bunch of kids and a giant lady. And seeing as how your quirk didn’t work on him, we would’ve been dead in the water anyway. But I don’t know if I can save you again. There’s no telling if that was a fluke because Bakugo is stubborn, or if there’s something you don’t know about your quirk. The best I can do is get Shigaraki off your back for a while.”

You didn’t respond, understanding now that Yuna had just saved you from a beat down even more well deserved than you first thought. Her quick thinking made the blame on everyone else a little heavier so yours didn’t hold as much weight.

  “Did you really hypnotize him?” She asked. Of course she was skeptical.

“I did.” And really, you had.

“What did you tell him to do?”

“I told him...” This was a moment of truth. You had to take a gamble on whether or not you could trust Yuna to the fullest. She was Tomura’s correspondent after all. Would she tell him? It sounded like she already had an idea that you didn’t say what you were supposed  to. “...to let the league take him back. And it didn’t work.” Maybe not today.

“Oh. Well.” After a moment of silence, she spoke up again. “Have you ever heard the word Kintsukuroi?”

“I think I’ve heard of it, but I don’t really know what it means.”

“Its’ literal definition is to repair broken pottery with gold or silver, understanding that the pottery is more beautiful for having been broken. But I think about it a lot when I’m lost or I’ve failed. It makes me feel like maybe it was supposed to happen so I can be better next time.”

“Wow. That’s pretty intense.” You felt a little weight on your chest, knowing you’d just lied to her face and she tried to comfort you anyway.

“Well I’ll leave you alone now. Take some time to think up here. It’s nice out tonight. I gotta go make that fucker some sustenance.” She smiled again and left, leaving you in the cool summer breeze.