#so. heres my goodbye to a whirlwind ride of a friendship

[strangecassette]

im honestly just. really tired of people screwing me over and then acting like im the only asshole in the room. i own up to my fuckups, i take responsibility, and i try to be mature in handling situations. am i perfect? fuck fucking no. but i shouldnt feel ASHAMED of talking about my feelings on my own blog on the offchance someone is hate-lurking and poised to point and go, “see! youre talking bad about me so you ARE the evil villain monster bad guy of my personal story!”

cant people just be normal? i fucked up a friendship, i hurt someone i cared about, and we couldnt continue on because of what i did. i was an asshole, i was really unsure about my emotions and life decisions at a very unstable and vulnerable point in my life. how i handled that hurt someone that was ready to grow closer, and that was fucked up of me. i wont say that he doesnt have a right to be upset, he very much does, and our entire relationship was a clusterfuck. but... i really dont think i like the way things ended. maybe it was what he needed to feel better about it all, but i just dont think its mature or really morally acceptable to tell off every single person thats fucked up in your life. it wasnt “you really hurt me and i dont think i can forgive you, so im not going to speak to you anymore and i want you to leave me alone” it was “youre a liar” and “you dont deserve friends if this is how you treat them” when he knew that i have a serious fear of being a shitty person. not even to mention the weird thing he did where he added me to his group chat of friends, i told him about shitty past friends that ruined gcs for me, and then as soon as i do something wrong, i get removed so he can chat shit about me to complete strangers as if im a malicious abuser out to get him specifically. im a human fucking being and actually? i dont think im going to lie down and fucking take that shit anymore. cyrus, if youre reading this, stay off of my blog and learn to communicate maturely, because that fucking hurt me too and i dont think i wil bend over backwards to try and give you reasons why im worth keeping around. im not going to beg for anything from you and all i hope for you is that you get better, get better friends, and learn to communicate with them without acting like youre telling off a monster deserving of every vile, hurtful thing you can think of saying to them. goodbye.

[themurphyzone]

PatB Oneshot: A Whole New Life for You and Me

For the air mice nyoom’s server Secret Santa for @deez-art! Decided to gift them a fic for the wonderful Brainladdin AU cause it’s so pure and I live for found family. I decided to go with the happy ending for the movie, cause Genie’s reaction upon being freed melts me every time.

@nuttersincorporated came up with the fun idea of Wakko calling Brainladdin ‘Dad’ and Brainladdin denying it every time. I thought it was cute XD

Summary: The evil Snowballjafar has been defeated, but there's still some loose ends that need to be wrapped up. And really, there are way too many emotions going on here for Brainladdin's comfort. 

AO3 Link (No FFN post cause AO3 has easier x-over system). 

No power, however grandiose and terrifying, could go unchecked by the laws of the universe. Snowballjafar had forgotten there were unseen forces far greater than himself, even with phenomenal cosmic power at his fingertips.

The price to pay? Itty bitty living space inside a cramped magical lamp.

Brainladdin stared down at the black lamp that now contained his former friend turned enemy. While part of him would always remember Snowballjafar as a fellow young orphan on the streets, he also knew that this fate was karma for all of the hamster’s cruelty.

Jaspinky wouldn’t be forced into a union he didn’t want. Yakko wouldn’t be forced to hurt the people he’d come to regard as his younger siblings. Wakko and Dot wouldn’t be forced to live in an ACMEbah under Snowballjafar’s iron command.

ACMEbah was restored. Everyone was safe.

Brainladdin gave the lamp to Yakko, now back to his normal self, or as normal as could be for a wisecracking genie with a penchant for cartoonish humor.

“Allow me,” Yakko said, winking at Wakko and Dot as he zipped towards the palace balcony that overlooked the city. The kids eagerly scrambled over to the balcony to watch the proceedings.

In a flash of light, Yakko now wore a backwards blue cap, Wakko sported some strange armor that covered his chest and face, and Dot had a pink helmet with her trademark yellow flower painted on the side. Wakko and Dot grinned up at Yakko with adoring expressions, hanging off the balcony a little too eagerly for Brainladdin’s peace of mind.

“Wakko! Get off that railing at once!” Brainladdin shouted.

“Yes, Pops,” Wakko said in the universal ‘exasperated teen’ tone, which Brain suspected he’d picked up from Yakko. But Wakko planted his two feet on safe ground anyway, settling for standing on his tiptoes instead.

“I’m not—oh forget it,” Brainladdin sighed. It wasn’t worth arguing about, and he’d rather just take the defeat now instead of prolonging it.

Jaspinky giggled, his jewelry swaying gently with every movement. His blue eyes sparkled once again, a much welcomed change from the abject terror he had experienced while drowning in the sand-filled hourglass. And really, he looked much better in blue and gold than seductive red.

It was an objective fact.

Yakko held the lamp in his left arm, then wound it so fast that it resembled a blue whirlwind. “This is it, folks! The real teeth-clenching, nailbiting, game-winning swing of whatever century we’re in!”

Another magical burst, and Brainladdin found himself holding a tiny triangular flag emblazoned with Dot’s flower. Jaspinky screamed in glee, waving a giant pointing foam finger that now covered his right hand. Brainladdin rolled his eyes, but held the flag as high as he could in a silent show of support.

Dot readied her large mallet as Wakko crouched behind her, punching his fist into the palm of his hand. Yakko zipped to the other side of the balcony, then hurled the lamp towards Dot with all his might.

THWACK!

Dot’s mallet connected with the lamp and sent it soaring high into the blue sky and far beyond the walls of ACMEbah, straight into the heart of the vast desert.

“THAT’S FOR JASPINKY, MY BROTHERS, AND BRAINLADDIN CAUSE I FEEL LIKE BEING GENEROUS, YOU STUPID HAMSTER!” Dot screamed as she dashed around the balcony at high speeds, high-fiving Jaspinky’s foam finger as she passed him.

“And it’s outta here, thanks to my new sister sib! What a swing!” Yakko ruffled Dot’s hair as she threw herself at Wakko, knocking him down from his crouched position. The two laughed and embraced, laughing in joy and relief that their ordeal was really over. The duo began an odd victory dance that involved a lot of stomping both of them and rude hand gestures to the horizon on Dot’s part. “He’s looking at uhhhhhhhh…about a ten thousand year sentence in the Cave of Wonders. Without parole or bail, unless some poor shmuck decides to release him in a cashgrab sequel. But that’s a problem for another time.”  

Brainladdin allowed himself a tiny smile. And Jaspinky smiled that bright, silly smile that always seemed to make Brainladdin’s chest flutter swiftly and strange, but not in a wholly unpleasant way either.

To think this entire business had started out as a way to ascend to the throne of ACMEbah. Leave poverty behind him. Get Wakko some actual food and not worry about amputated limbs courtesy of angry shopkeepers.

He hadn’t counted on falling head over heels for Jaspinky’s gentle spirit. Who wanted to marry for love and not for power or fame or wealth. Nor had he counted on striking up a genuine friendship with a powerful magical being, who had wishes of his own yet was bound to the desires of his master.

Wakko lived by the rules of the street rat like Brainladdin, but he’d found a kinship with others willing to show him the affection Brainladdin couldn’t offer him.

Dot could finally be a child, a rather clever and self-sufficient one, and now she had brothers who would watch her back from this point on.

And Brainladdin found himself back to square one. There were other methods to take over ACMEbah, but he couldn’t continue perpetrating this lie.

Jaspinky deserved someone better than him. Wakko should be taken care of by people who would provide for every physical need and show him the love he deserved. He didn’t get along with Dot, but she was protective of Jaspinky, and it was by far her most admirable trait.

Most importantly, this quest would’ve been doomed to fail from the beginning if it hadn’t been for Yakko, who supported the endeavor in his snarky, playful way, entertained with his magic, and didn’t seem to begrudge Brainladdin for not keeping his promise when he’d been blinded by power.

Really, Yakko never should’ve been locked away from the world, only to come out when someone wanted to use him.

“Pondering again, Brainladdin?” Jaspinky asked. He took off the foam finger and set it down gently, then carefully pried the flag out of Brainladdin’s hands. His fingers were warm and gentle, much like how they’d held hands on that whimsical carpet ride just a few starlit nights ago.

“Yes,” Brainladdin said softly. He swallowed the lump in his throat, then took Jaspinky’s hands in his and tried not to think about how this would be the last time he might ever see him. “And I’m sorry I lied to you about being a prince.”  

Jaspinky teared up, his impossibly blue eyes reflecting the sky above. “It’s okay. I know why you did,” he whispered, like the lie was easy to forgive, just like that.  

A street rat couldn’t hope to change a centuries-old law. Street rats had no power, no connections, no respect. And the Sultan-CEO wouldn’t approve of any match but the ones she selected for Jaspinky, regardless of his wishes.

“I suppose this is goodbye.” Brainladdin squeezed Jaspinky’s hands, just to prolong releasing his hands for a little longer.  

“It’s not fair,” Jaspinky whimpered. “I love you.”

Brainladdin had seen those words float around in every step, every touch, every look from Jaspinky. But to hear it spoken out loud…

Well, it seemed he would be yearning for much more than power once he returned to the street.

A few teardrops splashed down from above. Yakko sniffed into a handkerchief, and Wakko and Dot stopped dancing, the reality of the situation sinking in, judging from their crestfallen expressions.

“Sorry. Never been this invested in a love story before,” Yakko said, poofing the handkerchief away as he drifted down next to Brainladdin. “But ya still got one wish left. Might as well use it. Just say the word and it’s riches, elephants, an entourage, and the whole prince shebang.”

Even after I went back on my promise to set you free? Brainladdin wanted to ask, but the words caught in his throat. You still want to offer me a chance to be with Jaspinky?

“Eh, what’s an eternity of servitude to love?” Yakko stretched casually, as if he could read Brainladdin’s thoughts. He bumped noses with Jaspinky, who smiled despite his tears. “You only come across someone like Jaspinky…well, never actually. Then again, trying to score a date can be pretty hard when you’re stuck in a lamp.”  

Brainladdin cupped Jaspinky’s cheek in the palm of his hand. He wouldn’t feel his warm, luxurious fur ever again.

“Jaspinky…while I-I reciprocate your affections, I can’t fabricate an entire persona to make you…you know.” Brainladdin looked down, unable to meet Jaspinky’s tearful gaze.

“Um…” Jaspinky just sounded confused.

“He stinks at admitting he loves you even though it’s completely obvious cause he actually wants you to be happy unlike all those other rotten, no-good, stuck-up jerkwad princes!” Dot shouted.

He could’ve done without the insult, but he nodded his thanks to Dot for the translation to Jaspinky terms.

“I understand, Brainladdin,” Jaspinky murmured. He kissed the back of Brainladdin’s hand, soft lips pressing against the calloused skin. Brainladdin allowed a moment for the kiss to settle, then pulled away to take care of one last piece of business.

“Yakko, I wish for your freedom,” Brainladdin declared.  

This was his chance to set things right. So that Yakko would have his freedom, never be forced to serve a cruel master again, and fully become the loving, questionably responsible brother he was meant to be.

“Right away! Vipers, monkeys, gold, coming right-” Yakko said, dusting off his gloves and cracking his knuckles. He raised his arms, then paused in surprise, the final wish not quite registering yet. “-wait, what?”  

Brainladdin held the lamp up to Yakko. The forever-teenager’s powers would be his own, never subject to anyone’s whims again.

“Yakko, you’re free.”  

Blue smoke poured out of the lamp as it rose out of Brainladdin’s hands, swirling around Yakko’s body as he looked on, completely speechless for probably the first time in millennia. His eyebrows drew up in shock, his arms making odd, meaningless motions as if he didn’t know what to do with his own body. Bolts of cosmic, ancient magic weaved around Yakko in indescribable colors, sparking clouds of massive energy that had never been witnessed before or ever again.

Jaspinky rested his jaw on top of Brainladdin’s head, not caring if he squished his fez. Wakko’s tongue lolled out happily, and Dot bounced up and down in sheer amazement before catching herself and settling for a joyful grin. Together they watched the golden shackles around Yakko’s wrists break and vanish into a cloud of magical sparkles.

Yakko stared at his own bare wrists, rubbing them and feeling the fur beneath his bonds, probably for the first time in his long life. He turned them in every possible direction, his mouth making movements that were heavily reminiscent of a fish out of water.  

“I’m free?” Yakko asked in disbelief. He gingerly picked up his lamp by the handle, tapping it a few times in case it had any power left. But the lamp had lost its golden sheen, its exterior now a dull brown. Yakko’s chest heaved up and down rapidly. “I’m free.”

His voice was tiny, not at all full of confidence and bravado as Brainladdin had admittedly grown fond of throughout this whole ordeal.

Then he cleared his throat, thrusting the depowered lamp into Brainladdin’s arms and startling Jaspinky enough that his arms slipped off Brainladdin’s head. Jaspinky laughed it off, and Brainladdin nudged him with his foot.

“Quick! Wish for something outrageous! Wish for denial!” Yakko begged as he covered his eyes, turning away from Brainladdin. “That’s it! Denial!”

Brainladdin shrugged, but obliged anyway. “I wish for denial?”

“Psych! Like you really need me for something you’ve already got!” Yakko shouted in Brainladdin’s face, giggling uncontrollably.

Brainladdin sighed and pushed Yakko’s face away from his, but Yakko’s glee was absolutely infectious, and even he couldn’t help but smile as Yakko bounced off pillars and roofs and the ground below, reveling in his newfound freedom. Whatever Yakko planned to do, Brainladdin had no doubts that the genie would use his liberation from the lamp well.  

“I’mfreeI’mfreeI’mfree—I’M FREE!” Yakko chanted the mantra over and over. He lifted Wakko and Dot onto his shoulders and nuzzled their noses, and they returned the gesture with huge smiles. Wakko leaned a little too far over for comfort as the trio celebrated in midair, but it seemed that Yakko’s magic allowed him to stay on without worrying about the laws of physics.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to see the world! You know how boring lamp interiors are? It’s good that you don’t, cause you’ll be bored if I answered that!” Yakko exclaimed as he conjured a long, blue slide that allowed Wakko and Dot to safely return to the balcony in style. Then he broke out an enormous suitcase, packing clothes, toys, and other items with a ridiculous amount of arms.  

So Yakko planned to leave too. But Brainladdin tried to hang onto the joy of Yakko’s freedom for a little longer, trying not to linger on how his life always consisted of saying goodbye to anyone he met that he’d grown to…tolerate.

“Well, off to see the sights! Tahiti, China, the Galapagos, Pennsylvania, Switzer-“

Yakko paused and looked down, a bag of apples in one hand and a potted cactus in another. His mouth opened in surprise. He was watching Brainladdin.

Then Brainladdin’s vision blurred. He wiped his eyes, and his fingers came away damp. No one else had commented yet, though Jaspinky’s hand was on the small of his back, but Brainladdin said nothing. Best to ingrain the memory of Jaspinky’s soft touch in his mind while he had the chance.

Yakko wiped away a few tears of his own, his form shrinking until he was just a head taller than Wakko.

“Poit. I’ll let you have a moment,” Jaspinky whispered. Brainladdin only registered his words just as the gentle pressure vanished from his back. Dot knelt, taking Jaspinky in her cupped hands. She was silent, only giving Yakko an odd look before retreating into the palace for her own private conversation with the princess, leaving Wakko and Brainladdin alone with Yakko.

A case of déjà vu swept through Brainladdin. He and Wakko alone in the Cave of Wonders. Wakko bouncing along to a bombastic musical number, where he could have a fun childhood experience that ACMEbah refused to grant. Yakko’s excitement over simply talking to living beings.

At first, Yakko was just a means to an end. He was powerful, and it wasn’t difficult to work within the boundaries of his genie limitations. Maybe he could’ve took things more seriously, maybe he could’ve stopped jabbering for just a few seconds so Brainladdin could get a word or two in. Although Yakko had been trapped within a role, he still made everyone smile, he was protective, and he was kind.

“Hey.” Yakko tapped Brainladdin’s forehead. “You really oughta stop that brooding habit of yours.”

“I don’t brood. I ponder,” Brainladdin shot back, ridding himself of the watery veil in his eyes. Yakko provided him with a handkerchief, and Brainladdin blew his nose. The item poofed away. “Thanks, Yakko. For everything, and not just for convenient items you can create without obeying the laws of physics and other scientific fields.”

“Are you really gonna see the world?” Wakko asked, his eyes shining with wonder.

Wakko had expressed a desire to see the world many times before, but only so he could earn enough money to help Brainladdin put bread on the table. One of Brainladdin’s regrets about this elaborate plan falling through, really. Nobody, especially a child, should ever have to worry about rationing one loaf of bread and an apple to last a week.

Here was a prime opportunity for Wakko to experience the world without financial woes dragging him down from truly enjoying it, since Yakko could just create money and food as needed and serve as a somewhat responsible guardian for him.

Brainladdin didn’t ask though, but only because he didn’t know how to broach the topic. Wakko would never follow his own dream if he was constantly worried for Brainladdin, and it didn’t feel quite right to request something of Yakko so soon after his new freedom.  

Yakko nodded, wiping away a stray tear from his cheek. “Well, more than what I’m seeing right now, anyway. And really, it’s no problem-o. At least you guys aren’t boring. Can’t say the same about all the other masters I’ve had.”

“I’m gonna miss you,” Wakko admitted. He held up his arms, and Yakko scooped him up in an enormous hug. Wakko flopped like a sack of potatoes, nuzzling into Yakko’s fur.

“Heh, you too, kid,” Yakko murmured. “Boy, have you been filling up on the palace’s sweetcakes or something since we started this whole thing?”  

It wasn’t healthy sustenance by any means, but if Wakko was truly putting on weight, then Brainladdin saw no reason to complain.

Yakko shifted his brother so that he was secure in one arm, then set his other hand on the ground next to Brainladdin, who stepped into the offered palm. Yakko set Brainladdin on his shoulder, a gentle brush of magic preventing any accidental falls.

“Yakko…” Brainladdin could barely look him in the eye. “Though your antics could be somewhat over the top, you go about them with a certain degree of charm. And I suppose…I’ll miss you as well.”

“Awww, only somewhat over the top? Looks like I gotta up my game.” Yakko cracked a grin. Then he pushed his nose against Brainladdin’s, and while it was an odd feeling to be nuzzled on the nose, he didn’t push Yakko away either.

Wakko made an angry noise in the back of his throat.

Brainladdin shrugged. His dignity had been torn to shreds anyway. “I can learn to tolerate one more.”

And Wakko immediately closed the distance, his knee digging into Yakko’s smoky tail and somehow making him go ‘oomph’ even though there shouldn’t have been anything with substance there. Wakko’s nuzzle was somewhat rougher than Yakko’s, but it wasn’t anything Brainladdin couldn’t handle.

And this was long overdue, Brainladdin thought as he patted Wakko’s cheek. Had he ever done this while Wakko was awake and conscious to feel it? He wasn’t sure, but as Jaspinky taught him…it wasn’t too late to start.

“Who cares what anyone says? You guys are always gonna be royalty to me,” Yakko declared.  

Wakko closed his eyes and almost melted right there, and Yakko had to set him down carefully since the kid’s body composition seemed to be made out of shifting sand with all the physical contact. Brainladdin carefully climbed down Yakko’s arm and tried not to tear up again at his words.

Just as Brainladdin’s feet touched the ground, there was a furious scream from the door on the far side of the room.

“The Sultan-CEO is just…AHHHHHHH!” Dot shouted as she stomped across the tiled floor and slumped against the balcony railing, her head smacking against the metal bars. Her brothers threw their arms around her instantly, and her ire diminished, though she was still wracked with tension.  

Jaspinky trailed behind her, his shoulders and tail drooping, the golden band around his tail making sad tap-tap-tap noises.

Shoot. He was still crying.

“I’m sorry, Brainladdin.” Jaspinky twisted his tail between his hands. “Sultan-CEO-Mom’s still awfully mad. Some dictator from the kingdom of Dunlikus was supposed to meet with her but got caught in a whirlywind from Snowballjafar’s evil magic. She wouldn’t listen to us. But…Dot tried to convince her about you. She really did.”

“I believe you, Jaspinky,” Brainladdin quietly said as he patted Jaspinky’s back. Jaspinky sniffed once, twice, then intertwined his tail with Brainladdin’s. While Brainladdin’s tail was crooked and stiff from the amount of times he’d been roughly grabbed while stealing, Jaspinky’s was smooth and unblemished. “Did she say anything to Dot in particular?”  

It was rather interesting to watch Jaspinky’s tail flow with every unrestrained emotion. Yet it also served as a reminder of their very different social statuses.

Jaspinky nodded sadly. “She said Dot doesn’t have any good ideas cause she’s just a kid who doesn’t know how the real world works. But then…neither of us have really seen the world outside the palace. The magic carpet ride was my first time, and it really was a magical wonderful memory I’ll treasure forever. But Dot-well, how do we know how the world works if we’re stuck here?”

For all his oddities, Jaspinky could ask the most profound questions.

“You won’t.”

But Jaspinky couldn’t live in the city either. Brainladdin didn’t want Jaspinky’s kindred spirit snuffed out by the cynicism and roughness of the streets.  

Jaspinky winced, hurt shining in his blue eyes. Realizing his reply came out blunter than he intended, Brainladdin rubbed a circle into Jaspinky’s hand in a silent apology. Jaspinky lifted Brainladdin’s fez and planted a kiss on top of his head, then made a show of adjusting the fez.  

Brainladdin took Jaspinky by the hand and led him to the siblings. He wondered how exactly he’d come to have more physical contact in the past day than what he’d given and received in years. Truth be told, it was a terrifying yet exhilarating change. But it would also be tinged with bittersweet.

After Jaspinky, he doubted he’d be able to ever touch anyone like this ever again.  

“It’s okay-“ Yakko tried, hands held out to placate Dot.

“No, it’s not!”

Wakko was silent, but he was the first to spot Brainladdin and Jaspinky joining them. He gently turned Dot so that she was no longer glaring daggers into the buildings of ACMEbah. The fur around her eyes was damp with tears.

Jaspinky climbed up the skirt of Dot’s pink and white dress and perched on her shoulder, humming comfort into her ear. Dot stroked his head with her finger, and his foot kicked rapidly. She gave a tiny laugh.  

Which was excellent, because Brainladdin was rather weary of all the crying. “Jaspinky explained what happened with the Sultan-CEO,” he said. “Though it didn’t have the results you wanted, we’d like to commend your effort regardless.”

“What Brainladdin said!” Jaspinky chirped. “Remember that mean ol’ Chance O’ Ler from Turkey? He was so scared of Sultan-CEO-Mom that his pants changed colors! But you didn’t even flinch in front of her!”

“Hey, how come nobody invited me to witness all this?” Yakko pouted, holding up a dramatic Greek mask with an exaggerated frown. “I would’ve drawn pictures of that moment, you know! I’m getting really good with my sketches!”

He snapped his fingers, and five large scrolls materialized, each containing a drawing of everyone in their group. Brainladdin thought it was a surprisingly accurate representation of himself…

…except his hands resembled a lump with misshapen sausages for fingers attached.

It was the most glaring flaw in all the other scrolls too.

“Are those chain-link sausages?” Wakko asked, pointing to his own sketch. Brainladdin was just glad he wasn’t the only one who thought so.

“I like them!” Jaspinky said, wiggling his own fingers.

“It was mostly proportionate. But the hands leave a lot to be desired,” Brainladdin added.  

Dot only covered her mouth and ducked her head.

Yakko shrugged, the scrolls disappearing. “Private tutors and art references are hard to come by when you’re stuck in a lamp.”

Then Dot burst into laughter, Jaspinky chortling alongside her as her shoulders rapidly bounced up and down. She lightly struck the railing with her fist multiple times. There were tears again, but they came from joy rather than sadness.

“Those—ha! I can’t—Yakko, you really captured my good side…but oh my gosh-“ Dot could barely speak between breaths, a huge smile breaking out on her face.

Yakko winked at her. “Figured that would snap you outta it.”

Dot just hugged him back, and Yakko let out another ‘oomph’ as tiny yet strong arms encircled him. “Geez, what do you mice feed these kids?” he wheezed.

Jaspinky stood up, dusting his clothes off and trying a small test jump. “Zort! Brainladdin, catch me!”

A mass of fur, clothing, and narf crashed into Brainladdin, knocking him to the ground with no chance to prepare. He spat out a tassel from Jaspinky’s sleeve. The princess was way too cheerful about his impromptu belly flop.

Then Jaspinky sprang back up, helping Brainladdin to his feet as well. “Dot, I’m really happy to be your friend,” Jaspinky said. “But if Yakko doesn’t mind, I think it would be amazingly fun and wonderful if you could see the world for yourself.”

“Course I don’t mind!” Yakko exclaimed as he threw Dot into the air and caught her. “I’ll have to redo my travel itinerary, but it’ll be more fun that way! If I put Tahiti before Pennsylvania, we can go snorkeling with dolphins on a nice sunny Friday, no hold on a sec, China should be first cause it’s been way too long since I’ve had dumplings, and Greece can-“

“YAKKO, HOLD ON A SEC!” Dot shouted just as Yakko prepared to throw her again. She dangled somewhat precariously next to Yakko’s legs, but she didn’t seem to mind her position all that much.

It surprised Brainladdin that Yakko was willing to accept a new responsibility so readily, and he caught the wistful look on Wakko’s face when Yakko happily declared he’d love company on his trip, but he knew Wakko wouldn’t accept. From Dot’s forlorn expression as she glanced at Jaspinky, she wouldn’t take her chance either.

ACMEbah had a way of robbing everyone of a happy childhood. It appeared sadly common to every social class.

“I don’t take orders from anyone, not even princesses,” Dot growled. “And I’m not leaving you to the tender mercies of the Sultan-CEO or anyone who just wants a pretty face with money, Jaspinky.”

But Jaspinky shook his head. “You won’t have to worry about me though. Cause I’ll live in the city with Brainladdin and Wakko. So I won’t be alone!”

What? That is possibly the least reassuring thing you could’ve said right now, idiot!

Dot’s expression turned stormy. She was thinking along the same lines too.

“Did-did I say something wrong?” Jaspinky’s ears drooped. “I can do some good in the city. I-I never knew things were so bad. And I wanna help.”

“Put that fluff between your ears to use and think, Jaspinky!” Brainladdin snapped. Jaspinky’s mouth quivered. Brainladdin took a deep breath, mentally counting to ten before clasping Jaspinky’s hands between his own. “I…I’m sorry. For my outburst. But remind yourself of our first meeting in the marketplace. You meant well when you took the apple off the fruit stand and gave it to Wakko, but you barely understood the concepts of money and payment, and you completely froze when the shopkeeper barbarically tried to chop off your hand.”

“You saved me though,” Jaspinky said.

“Yes, but if the shopkeeper had been faster with his sword? If I was too far to help you? And your lack of a disguise was another issue. You waltzed into the marketplace with all your finery and no protection. Someone would notice eventually. The best case scenario? Your clothes and jewelry would’ve been stolen, but that’s all. And if someone chose to kidnap you for ransom or worse, the palace and royal guards would’ve been in an uproar. If that hypothetical situation came to pass, guess which group would be suspected first.”

“N-no,” Jaspinky whimpered. “I-I didn’t mean-“

“I know why you did though. You weren’t malicious, just naïve. There’s nothing to apologize for or forgive.” Brainladdin pulled Jaspinky’s head down until their cheeks touched. Jaspinky’s fur was a different sort of warm, not blistering hot like the desert sun, but more of a soft ray of light.

The princess had walked among the commoners for the same reason Brainladdin had disguised himself as a prince. Because he’d felt trapped by a societal role and just wanted to be free.

“Brainladdin?” Jaspinky’s voice was oddly distant.

“If you leave the safety of the palace—if they realize you’ve taken the lifestyle of a common street rat—they’ll hate you. Nobody will see you. But you’ll be blamed. For things you didn’t do…or just for trying to survive. And you’ll lose your good heart, Jaspinky. I can’t even protect Wakko from the consequences. But he’s already figured out some of it. So please…don’t…l-leave…”

Don’t leave the palace…don’t leave me…

Wakko’s hand rested against Brainladdin’s back. The child was always too generous for his own good. It was a quality that Brainladdin couldn’t bring himself to force Wakko to lose, as much as it was a detriment to his survival.

Brainladdin’s vision blurred, and he felt water leak out of his eyes against his will. He was going to die of dehydration at this rate. Jaspinky nuzzled his cheek, humming a meaningless tune into his ear.

The magic carpet ride had been one of the most awe-inspiring experiences of his life. Soft fabric beneath them, close quarters necessitating physical contact, a navy starlit sky above. Being weightless, being free from the worry of scavenging for scraps or taking over ACMEbah, being able to see the wonder in Jaspinky’s eyes as he touched a cloud for the first time…

They weren’t Brainladdin the street rat and Princess Jaspinky in the sky. No, there were no statuses to worry about, no pressures to conform to.

Jaspinky petting a wild horse as it galloped across the land. The stars twinkling in Jaspinky’s eyes. His excitement when he experienced something he’d never seen or done before.

Yet it would be nothing more than a wistful memory.

“They’re still trapped, you know. There’s gotta be something we can do,” a quiet voice said.

Wakko.

“Jaspinky. Brainladdin. You guys really love each other, don’t you?” Dot asked.

Brainladdin wiped his tears on his vest, not caring that it was one of the few pieces of clothing he owned. He looked up at Dot, who was seated on Yakko’s shoulders.

She’d been nothing more than an irritating obstacle when he tried to woo Jaspinky. But if it weren’t for her presence, Jaspinky likely would’ve been married to someone he didn’t love.

He really couldn’t fault her for hating the made-up Prince Brainli.

“He’s my world,” Brainladdin whispered, his voice barely audible, even to himself. He gave Jaspinky a tiny nuzzle, and Jaspinky’s tail intertwined with his own once again.

“And mine too,” Jaspinky agreed.  

Dot watched them for just a moment longer. Then her back straightened, her head tilting proudly. Her foot tapped against Yakko’s chest.

“As someone who’s secretly observed the Sultan-CEO’s political meetings and learned the do’s and don’ts of palace business, I’m the most qualified one here for the position of temporary Sultan-CEO,” she declared. “Yakko. A scroll and quill, if you please.”

Yakko grinned, and the requested items appeared. “Your wish is my command.”

“Thank you,” Dot said with a firm nod.

Brainladdin glanced at Jaspinky and Wakko, but they seemed just as confused as he was. He wasn’t sure if one could just declare themselves Sultan-CEO. That wasn’t really how it worked.

“I, acting Sultan-CEO Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third, also known as Dot, hereby decree that the Royal Marriage Law of 1175 is null and void, and from this day forth, the princess of ACMEbah shall marry whoever they deem worthy.”

The quill jotted Dot’s decree word for word on the scroll, every letter emblazoned with a golden shine.

“Now for the seal of approval!” Dot shouted.

Another flash of magic transformed Wakko into a black and white seal, the scroll was brought down to his nose level, and he gave the paper a large, slobbery lick. Then he clapped, his flippers beating together as Yakko tossed several fish fillets into his mouth.

Then the scroll disappeared, and Wakko transformed back, white bits of fish still coating his mouth.

“This new decree is non-negotiable and binding,” Yakko said. “And I’ve also taken the liberty of framing, enlarging, and sticking it in a palace hallway our dear power-hungry Sultan-CEO frequents. She won’t be able to remove it no matter how hard she tries.”  

As if on cue, there was a distant horrified scream that practically blew one of the domed roofs of the palace off.

What just happened? She can really do that?

Jaspinky squealed in glee, right next to Brainladdin’s ear. He barely had time to rub the sensitive hairs before Jaspinky lifted him into the air and spun him around so fast that he saw more stars than the sun in broad daylight. And they were absolutely beautiful.

“I choose you, Brainladdin!” Jaspinky exclaimed. His laughter was like a melody, Brainladdin losing himself in the music, and he was probably grinning like a fool too but he no longer cared about that because he could be with Jaspinky, and there was an entire world for them and them alone!

Brainladdin clung to Jaspinky’s shoulders, steadying himself as Jaspinky set him down again. He brushed Pinky’s jewelry out of the way, and Jaspinky pressed his forehead against his own.

“Call me Brain,” Brainladdin murmured, and he held Jaspinky close.  

They were no longer trapped. They were free. They could be together.

His heart quickened, and it was an exhilarating feeling indeed.

“Alright, everyone into the group hug!” Yakko shouted, and a giant hand scooped them up. Brainladdin was instantly sandwiched between Jaspinky and Wakko, Dot squeezing herself into the crook of Yakko’s arm on Jaspinky’s opposite side. It was getting hard to breathe, but he couldn’t tell if that was from the force of Yakko’s hug or a side effect of the emotionally charged atmosphere. “Now that we’re all done baring our souls.”

“Thank you, Dot!” Jaspinky exclaimed, hugging the girl’s cheek. “Thankyousomuch! And now that I’ve got Brainladdin staying with me, you should go with Yakko! No ifs or buts, young lady!”

Dot smirked. “You just wanna get rid of me so you can do stuff with Brainladdin.” There was something sneaky in her voice that Brainladdin heavily disliked. “But I’ll gladly take this vacation.”

“I could never get rid of you, Dot! You’re my best handmaiden!” Jaspinky protested.

“Simmer, Jaspinky,” Brainladdin said, and the princess relaxed. “She’s only teasing. That being said, I highly detest her tone.”

He gave Dot a pointed glare, and she casually placed her elbow against Yakko’s arm. “You’re not a complete jerk, but if I were as bigheaded as you, I’d avoid most of the rooms on the southern side. I still haven’t disabled the booby trapped perfume bottles that spray catfish guts yet. You’ll be mostly safe on the east side though.”  

“And you’re not a complete brat. Just an annoyingly clever one,” he muttered.  

Dot looked all too pleased with herself.

At least he’d finally confirmed who rigged that perfume bottle on his second night as Prince Brainli in the palace.

“Perfect!” Yakko exclaimed, and confetti showered down on everyone. “So any particular places in mind? A change of scenery would do you some good!”

“Burbank. Machu Picchu. Rome,” Dot said. “I’ll come up with more later. You got any ideas, Wakko?”

Wakko shook his head, only staring at the ground far below them.

“Wakko? Wakster? Wakaroo?” Yakko frowned, gently shaking Wakko, who only went limp. “C’mon, we know you’ve got places you wanna visit. Mostly for the exotic food, right?”

“Sorry. I’d love to go, but-“ Wakko’s face fell.

This wasn’t like before, where Brainladdin refused to let Wakko venture outside ACMEbah. Now neither of them would be alone in this world.

“Look at me, Wakko.” Brainladdin held onto one of Wakko’s fingers with both hands, and the boy obeyed. “As the soon-to-be ruler of ACMEbah, I will be living in the palace with Jaspinky. There’s no more need for concern. And you have a somewhat responsible brother and an irritatingly capable sister who will always have your back. Your new objective is to explore the world for yourself, and if you try to send money back or work yourself to the bone, I shall have to ground you.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Wakko snatched him up for an enormous hug. Brainladdin gasped for air, fairly certain one lung was punctured and his left kidney had been knocked out of place from the tight squeeze.

“Oxygen!” he wheezed. Wakko relented and returned him to Jaspinky, who was more of a white and blue blur than a mouse right now.

“Faboo, Dad!” Wakko exclaimed, much to Yakko and Dot’s joy.

“Yes, faboo indeed,” Brainladdin muttered, a dizzy spell from the lack of oxygen overtaking him. He slumped against Jaspinky. “I expect a letter every night, Wakko.”

If Wakko replied, his voice was lost in Yakko and Dot’s chatter over their travel plans. Brainladdin and Jaspinky were deposited on the balcony, Brainladdin finally recovering his vision so he could see the siblings off.

“Bye-bye! Bring back souvenirs! Troz!” Jaspinky shouted, his jewelry jingling as he waved goodbye to the siblings.

“Farewell for now,” Brainladdin said, crossing his arms over his chest. Best to act like he was ruling ACMEbah after all. He tried not to squeeze too tightly, if only to stop the slight ache in his chest from all this emotional nonsense.  

“You heard them! Let’s blow this popsicle stand!” Yakko shouted, and he shot into the sky like a firework with Wakko and Dot in his arms. The two screamed in delight, their laughter echoing off the buildings of ACMEbah. “Let’s give the lovebirds some space!”

“We’re history!” Dot yelled.

“We’re mythology!” Wakko added.

“I DON’T CARE WHAT WE ARE! WE’RE FREE!”

In a shower of magic, they shot across the sky and were gone, off to tour the world to celebrate their new lives.

Jaspinky waved to the sky for a moment longer, then turned to Brainladdin, that stupid, silly, wonderful smile on his face. “I’ve got sweetcakes and tea in the kitchen. Do you want any?”

Brainladdin rolled his eyes. “Don’t ask stupid questions, Jaspinky.”

They headed to the kitchen, walking hand-in-hand, never to be separated again.

o-o-o-o-o

Colorful fireworks burst around them, lighting up the night sky in flares of red and green and blue. The stars shone from above, the earth and all its worries far beneath them. A breeze tugged them along, the magic carpet pulling this way and that with no clear destination in mind. But they didn’t need one.

Whichever way the winds blow, as they say.

“Look, Brainladdin! Another letter!” Jaspinky pointed to a paper drifting towards them, protected by a cloud of Yakko’s magic. He leaned over the side in his excitement to grab it out of the air. Brainladdin kept hold of Jaspinky’s tail just in case, though the magic carpet was sentient enough to lift that side up to prevent accidental falls. The letter floated into Pinky’s hand, and he scrambled back to Brainladdin, showing off the letter proudly. “It’s a J! Wakko’s very good with oregano. I wish he’d teach me!”

He really should’ve been more clear with his expectations for Wakko.  

“That’s a Y, Jaspinky. And oregano is a spice. This is the paper craft known as origami.” Brainladdin tucked the Y inside the folds of his royal robe for safekeeping. It would go nicely with the W and D that were already on his nightstand.

“Oh. Well then, it’s a very nice Y!”

“Yes, it’s constructed well.”

Another firework flared, and Jaspinky oohed and awwed at the wondrous sight, his eyes ever an innocent, pretty blue. He’d picked a new outfit for tonight: a purple crop top with matching pants and headband, a see through, puffy material that framed his bare shoulders wonderfully, and golden earrings.

The fireworks paled in comparison.

Jaspinky gasped in awe. “Look, Brainladdin! A shooting star! What’d you wish for?”

Brainladdin glanced at the canopy above, where a meteor shower zipped through the upper atmosphere. “You first.”

“Narf! Alright. I wished for a world where we can all be happy! Your turn!”

Sentimental, yet thoughtful. Of course.  

“I wish…for our lives to be fulfilling.”

Jaspinky smiled. “Looks like our wishes came true then.”

“An astute observation,” Brainladdin said.  

Jaspinky kissed him, and warmth flooded through Brainladdin’s body. They soared into the starry horizon, the full moon shining from afar. A new world awaited them.

AN: This…uh…this is way longer than I intended it to be. I hope you enjoyed this story. This is my first time writing the Warner siblings, so I combined some of the posts Deez-art made about this AU for my characterization of them. I apologize if they were out of character, but I did have fun with them. Especially Dot. For some reason her dialogue is just fun to write.

Also, Brain angsts too easily. That’s why this story is almost 7000 words.

Some of the dialogue comes directly from the 1992 Aladdin movie.

I HAVE LISTENED TO A WHOLE NEW WORLD HOW MANY TIMES FOR THIS STORY. THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME I’VE DONE THIS EITHER. I NEED NEW LOVE SONGS.

As for why this story is published on AO3 instead of FFN, it’s just easier to tag this sort of thing there.

[thedefinitionofendgame]

baseball takes your mind off things

Slexie, Merder and Cristowen one-shot | Rated T | Canon-compliant with 6x03

A/N: The baseball scene at the end of 6.03 after Lexie doesn’t get fired with the hospital cuts (and neither did Meredith or Cristina). Will go down as one of my favourite “couples” scenes on grey’s and I literally don’t know why. Maybe because everyone looks so happy, and both Derek and Meredith are cool with Mark and Lexie being together. All is well, aka the calm before the storm that is the Mercy West merger.

•

You can read this work on ao3 and fanfiction.net as well

Written and cover by @thedefinitionofendgame (aka me)

It was just six doctors off-duty-three medical students, three well-known surgeons-all just messing around with baseballs and beer bottles in their hands. For the surgeons, it was another night of fun with their girls and the boys. For the medical students, it was a way to take the edge off as they had all just survived the first round of merger cuts. Meredith wasn’t surprised all three of the women had made it; they were all more than capable. Cristina especially, although sometimes her actions were a little questionable. Lexie, as Meredith’s younger sister, had a legacy to live up to but she also was becoming a very talented surgeon. Mark never hesitated to tell her that.

Meredith was still trying to figure Mark Sloan out. Sure, he was a player and slept around a lot prior to getting together with Lexie Grey. It was one of the reasons why Meredith was very against Derek’s best friend and Lexie at first. She was the one who told Derek to tell Mark to keep “little Mark” in his pants when it came to Lexie. That was her first mistake, because all it seemed to do was make Mark want Lexie; a guy clearly likes the challenge of fooling around with someone he can’t have. Although they weren’t just fooling around; Lexie loved Mark and Mark loved Lexie. Lexie had assured Meredith he wasn’t taking advantage of her and that they were going to be together, blessing or not. Meredith didn’t want to lose her sister that she had only recently found out she had, so she caved. Now here she was, with her sister, her best friend, her husband, his best friend, and then Owen. Meredith supposed everyone had a connection to her somehow, except for Owen Hunt. Sure, he was her best friend’s boyfriend but they weren’t super close. Anyways, that wasn’t the point.

The point was that Meredith, Cristina and Lexie had all made the first round of cuts. Cristina had to go and put a damper on their good news by stating it was the first round of more to come. Nevertheless, Meredith was happy for all of them. The men had decided that a game of baseball was in order, not so much a game as a chance to blow off some steam. Originally, Cristina was going to stay at the hospital, and Meredith with her. Then Owen came along with beers and announced that baseball was necessary, rounding up Meredith and Derek. They found Mark comforting Lexie in the foyer; Meredith’s first thought was that she had been cut when she saw the tears on Lexie’s cheeks. But they were actually tears of joy, and Mark was doing his boyfriend-ly job by soothing her regardless of it being a victory or loss.

Okay, maybe former-womanizer Mark Sloan could be a good guy. Guess he just had to find the right girl.

Meredith snapped back to focus to cheer Cristina on, after she managed to hit the baseball flying at her face. Lexie wanted a turn next, so she handed her beer off to Mark, slapped one of the helmets on her head and headed to take a crack at it. Derek, who was playing back catcher, caught Meredith’s eye and winked; he really did love his complicated-but-loving wife.

Meredith and him, well they’re love story hadn’t been a smooth one. It started with a one-night stand that ended up being taken to work of all places. Turns out Seattle wasn’t as large as they thought. But Derek wouldn’t change all the bumps in the road, including his ex-wife coming back into his life and then leaving almost as fast, to go back and not meet Meredith. She was his endgame, his ride-or-die and his forever. Post-it or not, they would always be married and love each other until the ends of the Earth.

It was the love he felt for Meredith, that made him reconcile things with Mark. Mark Sloan had had the tendency to make jackass moves all his life; sleeping with Addison being one of many. But specifically going against Derek’s only ask that he didn’t date Lexie, well that had been a bit far. They had fought it out like teenage boys, despite the fact they were grown men, and with the girls’ help had then talked it out. Mark had assured him that Lexie wasn’t another fling that he’d get rid of in a couple weeks. She was the real-deal. And even though Derek doubted it at first, there was no denying that Mark Sloan loved Little Grey. It took Mark a lot to ever say the word “love” about a girl, for the long term. Confessing his relationship status to Derek had been tough, but it only made Derek realize how much Mark actually cared for Lexie; he was willing to lose his best friend over the girl he loved.

Derek liked Meredith’s “sisters” both the blood-related and the symbolic one. Cristina Yang was all shades of talented, and while she wasn’t all smiley like Lexie, she knew how to perform surgery like a boss. She and Meredith had been there for each other through a lot, and Meredith needed good friends like Cristina. She needed her “person”; someone who would be there through the thick and thin. Best friends don’t come along often, and Derek of all people knew that in regards to Mark. His and Mark’s friendship hadn’t been smooth-sailing, but deep down they cared for each other. He was the brother Derek never had, because God or someone else had cursed him with sisters.

Crouching behind the batter, who at the moment was Lexie Grey, Derek turned his attention to the baseball winding up inside the machine. Owen Hunt had been speaking all kinds of smartness when he told Cristina she needed to focus on what was in front of her, in that very moment. The ex-army trauma surgeon did know what he was talking about and while he didn’t always make the best choices, he sure knew how to give a short but sweet peptalk. Derek smacked his hand into the glove and waited, ready for whatever life threw at him.

They took shot after shot, of both alcohol (well more like sips) and baseball. It was a wild night, as the three couples laughed and had fun just being. No cares were in their minds anymore; even Cristina had stopped fretting about the next round of cuts. Meredith had Derek’s jackets wrapped around her shoulders, while Lexie snuck drinks of Mark’s beer, and Owen helped Cristina work on her swing stance. It was peaceful and though Cristina didn’t like to admit it, her boyfriend’s idea was a good one.

It felt good to clear her head, to take her mind off the rush at the hospital. Nothing could ever feel as good as the rush of surgery but hitting a baseball swung mighty close. At least in this moment right now. She might feel differently if she woke up the next morning with a sore arm from taking hits all evening. Although Owen had already whispered in her ear about promising to massage her back if her muscles were tight. It was an opportunity Cristina was prepared to take full advantage of.

She and Owen were something else. Not fierce, but good. Comfortable. They were good together and they knew what the other wanted, at least they both thought they did. Sure, they would never get married on a post-it note like Meredith and Derek had, although who could really match with Meredith and Derek? They were utterly perfect and utterly in love. It was a miracle they were here tonight, actually, and not Christening more surfaces in the house. “Newlyweds” had been their excuse, according to Lexie. Little Grey was here tonight having a blast and the beer in her system made her a little more rowdy than normal. Cristina couldn’t help but enjoy this new side of Lexie.

Mark was also enjoying it, watching his girl jump up and down when she hit the ball square on the bat, making a nice crack sound and sending the little white sphere tumbling through the air. He wouldn’t help but stare at her ass too, because damn did Little Grey have a nice ass. She had a nice everything, but of her physical features her ass was his favourite. Mark shook his head as Derek stepped up to plate next; he did not want to think of his best friend’s ass at all.

It was Owen who was the most observing throughout the night. He watched his girlfriend loosen up and start to feel more like her regular self. Cristina was normally uptight but she had been very uptight recently. A night of hitting a ball around was clearly doing some good, and it was good to see Mark and Derek getting along as though nothing had happened between them. Owen didn’t know much about the fistfight that went down, besides the fact that Derek had thrown the first punch, but whatever it was hadn’t managed to tear the two guys apart. If the cost was being the third wheel amongst the bros for them to get along, then Owen was happy to pay the price.

At last everyone started to lose energy, and the baseball night drew to a close. Lexie took off her sweaty helmet and threw it into the back of Mark’s vehicle. She said goodbye to her sister and her husband with hugs; Cristina and Owen got a wave as they headed for the opposite side of the parking lot. Mark drove away with a smile on his face and Lexie’s fingers interlaced with his.

They didn’t speak, but Lexie knew what he was feeling. They were happy, they had their jobs and they loved each other. That was all that mattered; it was all that ever mattered. Tonight had been a whirlwind, though Lexie loved it. She loved her life, she loved the man sitting beside her, and she loved her newfound sister. Life was good.

So good, in fact, that she didn’t even think about the Mercy West merger that was about to take place.

Not one thought.

[lilacmoon83]

Clarity

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 19: Miner Complications, Pt 2

Neal smiled and waved to Henry, who was making sure he was watching him play the vendor's game.

"Your argument with your fiancé didn't seem to go well at all," Gold observed.

"That's an understatement," Neal deadpanned and then sighed.

"She's pissed...because I told her that I'm moving here and not going back to New York," he said.

"You and Henry belong here," he agreed.

"Maybe Papa...but it's not that easy to explain to her. Maybe I should tell her...everything," he said.

"Do you think that is wise? Not even Emma wants to believe it all and the truth is staring her in the face," he warned. Neal sighed.

"Yeah...there's no way she'd buy any of this," he agreed.

"Do you love her?" Gold asked bluntly.

"Of course I love her," he answered, a little too quickly.

"And if she makes you choose between Henry and going back to New York?" Gold asked.

"Papa...you know I'm going to choose Henry," he said sternly.

"Good...because I once chose something over you and it was the worst mistake of my very long life. I regretted it the moment I did it," Gold assured him.

"Yeah, yeah...I'm still trying to be mad at you, you know," he refuted. Gold smirked.

"And you have every reason to still be mad at me," he agreed.

"Stop being agreeable," Neal complained.

"Then you better make it clear to Tamara that you're not going back to New York. At least it can be a clean break then," Gold said.

"Hold on...I love her and I don't want to break up with her. Who says I can't convince her to stay?" Neal asked. Gold nodded curtly.

"Then you have your work cut out for you...but be careful telling her too much until you're sure she's on board with what it would mean for her to move to this world," he advised. Gold knew that, most likely, this was the beginning of the end for his relationship with Tamara. He didn't want his son to be hurt, but it was obvious to him, as well as to Snow for that matter, that he was still carrying a very bright torch for Emma. Tamara was out of place and didn't belong. She could never accept any of this, at best. And at worst, his instincts about her told him that she already knew more than she was letting on and meant nothing but trouble for them.

"Dad! Dad! Grandpa Gold...look at what I won!" Henry called, as he showed them his stuffed wolf.

"Nice buddy," he said, giving him a high five.

"A wolf...a very wise animal," Gold said.

"Let's go show Mom Emma, and Grams and Gramps," he said. Neal chuckled and they followed.

~*~

"You're here," Tamara said, as she rounded the corner and the blonde turned to face her.

"I decided I needed to come see the situation myself. A bit earlier than I thought, but I've been patient long enough, believe me," she said, as she quietly observed the people in the near distance.

"Neal reacted about like you said. He's dropped his life in New York like a bad habit," Tamara mused. She smirked.

"I've been told that children do that...they make you forget everything you previously have and forge a whole new life. Even if it means cutting out those that don't fit in anymore," she said.

"You sound like you're speaking from experience, Ms. Blake," Tamara replied.

"Yes…I once had a sister that cast me aside the moment her beloved daughter was born. She used to shower me with attention and then something she considered more beautiful came into her world and stole her and everyone else's attention," she said.

"I was cast away into obscurity, but none of that matters now. I paved my own path and became a star in my own right," she added.

"Yes…I'm still not sure what a fashion mogul like you wants with this town or its supposed secrets," Tamara replied.

"And you'll know that when I'm ready for you too. For now, keep observing as you have been," she said, as she observed her niece with her prince.

"So...no longer cursed it would seem. How interesting," she mused.

~*~

Emma sipped at her cocoa and browsed some of the vendor stands aimlessly.

"Cinnamon roll?" Ruby asked, as she offered one to her. Emma nodded and handed her some money, before digging in.

"Mmm...that's really good," she complimented.

"Yeah…I figured you'd like that. It's Mary Margaret's favorite too," Ruby said, watching the other woman's face darken a bit.

"When are you going to stop being mad at her?" Ruby asked.

"I'm not mad at her," Emma insisted.

"Then why the cold shoulder? I can believe that most of the stick in the muds in this town might shun her for supposedly having a part in ending David's marriage to Kathryn, but you don't strike me as the judgemental type. Am I really supposed to believe that you're shunning her, because of who she's sleeping with?" Ruby asked. Emma sighed.

"This has nothing to do with David," Emma replied.

"Then what is it? What did she do to ruin such a close friendship?" Ruby asked curiously. Emma huffed.

"Nothing...it's complicated," she insisted.

"Well...you should un-complicate it, because something tells me that Mary Margaret would do anything for you and somehow, I sense that David would too," Ruby said. Emma snorted.

"Yeah...don't be so sure about that," she muttered.

"I am sure...I can tell by the way they look at you. I don't know what's going on between the three of you...but for someone who has always wanted a family, you're sure giving the ones that want to be that family to you the brush off," Ruby said, as she went back to serving other customers. Emma looked at them and then saw her son run up to them so she made her way over there.

~*~

Snow accepted a bite of the warm, gooey cinnamon roll they had purchased from one of the food stands.

"Mmm...you always know when I need cinnamon and always manage to get it for me," she swooned. He chuckled.

"Yeah...it's nice that it's a little more readily available in this land," he replied. She smiled sheepishly, remembering how he would leave the castle many times during her pregnancy and ride to one of the village marketplaces to buy it for her. Then late at night, instead of waking the staff, he'd make sweet treats and drinks for her with it.

"You are so good to me," she gushed.

"I live to make you happy, you know that," he said, enjoying a bite himself. And she knew in turn that just being together made them both happier than they could have imagined at one time. She rested her head on his arm and reflected on that lonely time when she was living as a bandit and had lost faith that love was even real, much less true love. She was sure any hope of finding love, let alone true love, was lost to her. Then she stole his mother's ring and he tackled her and even after taking a rock to the face, he tracked her down to retrieve his mother's ring. That had sent them on a whirlwind adventure to get it back from some trolls and in turn cemented the instant connection they seemed to have upon their meeting.

She remembered trying on his mother's ring in an offhand move and not really wanting to take it off. The moment she had put it on he hadn't wanted it off her finger either. She had returned in then for a time and in the end, he placed it on her finger himself.

Despite a terrible dark curse and lost memories, the ring had survived and remained on her finger; a true feat that could only mean that their true love was unbreakable, even by the darkest of curses. He seemed to be thinking along the same line as her, as they both looked at the ring on her finger.

"It survived the curse and all these years," he mentioned.

"Mmm...like our love. You never wanted it off my finger the day you put it there and I never did either. Even the curse couldn't change that," she said. He smiled and kissed her tenderly.

"Grams, Gramps...look what I won!" Henry said excitedly.

"Wow...nice, kid," David said, patting him on the back.

"A wolf...they're a very special animal," Snow agreed, as they exchanged a glance.

"Wasn't it the Huntsman's best friend?" Henry asked. David nodded.

"It was...and he saved me from execution at his own expense," he replied.

"I miss him...I mean Graham," Henry said.

"Us too honey," Snow replied, as she looked up to see Emma there and knew her daughter missed him very much as well.

"Hey Mom...I won this for you. I know Graham is gone...but it reminds me of him," Henry said. Emma accepted the gift and smiled at him, as she ruffled his hair.

"Thanks Henry," she said.

"We're all here, because of him, right Grams?" Henry asked. Snow saw how uncomfortable that was making Emma, but she wouldn't lie to Henry.

"That's right honey...he was very brave and he spared my life. Then he helped free David so he could find me and wake me from the sleeping curse. We owe him everything," she admitted and then looked at Emma in the eyes. The blonde recalled the night of his death very clearly and the way he had looked at her. She then shook her head, refusing to play into it and stalked off. Snow's heart sank again and David put his arms around her.

"Why won't she believe?" Henry asked.

"Oh buddy...she will. It's just a lot for her to accept, but she'll come around. It's hard, but we have to be patient," David replied, as he put his free arm around him and hugged him too.

"Henry...it's time to go home," Regina snapped, as she approached.

"It's still pretty early," Neal protested.

"Henry has school in the morning and it's nearly eight. According to the judge, he's to be returned to me on the weeknights by eight," she reminded him. Neal sighed and hugged him tightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, kid," he promised. Henry nodded and surprised Snow with a hug. She nearly melted at that and hugged him in return with a smile. The whole scene made Regina's blood boil.

"I miss you at school," he said sadly.

"Oh, I miss you too...but I'll see you soon," she promised, trying to ignore Regina's glower. She watched him go and looked around, but didn't find Emma anywhere.

"Can we go home?" she asked. David nodded and kissed her forehead. They said goodbye to Neal and Gold, before heading for the loft.

"Perhaps you should go find Emma," Gold suggested.

"I'd like to...but I know when it's best to leave her alone," Neal said, as they headed home too.

~*~

Narcissa walked along Main street and observed the properties present. There were no vacancies and that wouldn't do at all. She needed a place to set up shop, so she went into the dress store and wrinkled her nose. The fashions there were abhorrent and at least two decades old.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked. She didn't know who she was back in the Enchanted Forest and she didn't care. She was probably some peasant worth less than the price of her Armani pantsuit.

"Yes…I'm here to buy you out," Narcissa said.

"Excuse me?" the woman asked in confusion. The blonde smirked and pushed a check toward her. The woman's eyes widened with the amount of zeros on it.

"You want to buy the store?" she asked.

"Yes…and rebrand it. I'm Narcissa Blake...maybe you've heard of me," she said.

"Blake Fashions...the high end line from New York?" the woman asked in amazement.

"That's me...the envy of New England and the world, of course," she replied.

"This is more money than I've ever seen...sold," the woman said.

"Excellent…" Narcissa said. Now she just had to hire some movers to do away with all the inventory in the store and replace it with her own. She walked back into the office and wrinkled her nose. This place certainly needed a lot of work, but she had the money to transform this entire place into her headquarters in Storybrooke. Yes, this would do nicely as a base and allow her to observe her niece. Then she would find the perfect way to destroy her.

[ambrxsian]

✧·ﾟ(  hebe + inbar lavi + cis female   ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !!  have you seen (   lorelei naji  ) around ? (  she  )  has been in kaos for (   twenty years   ). the (  twenty-eight  ) is a (  cafe owner   ) from (  marbella, spain  ). people say they can be (  envious   ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be (  vivacious  ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of ( the first golden light of dawn shining over the horizon, the child-like wonder of wishing of a shooting star, the smell of coffee first thing in the morning  ).  ·ﾟ✧

what’s up i’m steph, i’ve got my hat on backwards and it’s time to f*ckin party. and here we have lorelei, the local sweet, resilient, too passive and self-sacrificing café owner. she serves up the modern nectar of the gods: coffee. (luke danes who?) anyways hmu if you wanna plot or are interested in any of the connection ideas below!!

                                                      full bio | pinterest | playlist

TLDR; BIO — (tw: mentions of death)

born as the result of a whirlwind romance turned long-term relationship, lorelei’s and her siblings’ lives were turned upside down when their dad suddenly left after 8 years. packing up her children and her life, lorelei’s mother layla naji moved from marbella, spain to kaos, greece into the home of her older brother rahim and got a job as a curator at the local museum. meanwhile, uncle rahim took care of the kids. his carefree, child-like demeanor made every day fun. lorelei came to idolize him, and hung onto his every word (especially those in the stories of the gods and goddesses he’d tell.) 

he fell ill and passed away when lorelei was a teenager, and as the eldest she took up the role of “caretaker” for the family. placing school second on her priority list, lorelei worked two part-time jobs and deposited her paychecks into the family bank account or used them to buy groceries. her grades slipped, and the deadline to apply for colleges for the fall semester slipped by. 

lorelei never attended college, choosing instead to focus on her siblings success. she did begin taking online business classes, and through years of diligent, hard work opened up her own café called ambrosia & nectar cafe (inspired by the stories her dear uncle used to tell.)

HEADCANONS —

her favorite colors are hunter green and peachy pink

she often has her hair tied back for work, usually with colorful, patterned scarves and bandanas

she barely remembers her father

sometimes she feels she should miss him, but the only father-figure she misses is her uncle

he’s still her favorite person, and she thinks of him often

lorelei often visits her mother at the museum

she loves the stories of mythology and has fond memories of hearing them as a child

lorelei’s mother is from morocco, and has another younger brother who still lives there

lorelei’s younger brother is three years younger than her

her sisters are four years and six years younger, respectively

lorelei adopted her vivacious, youthful personality to fill the void her uncle left

when relaxed she’s peaceful, responsible, amiable, perfectionistic, and often stressed

the woman barely sleeps and thrives off of coffee someone make her take a nap

she rarely takes a moment for herself to rest, and could sincerely use someone with whom she feels safe enough to just relax

she’s an early riser (after so many years, it became a habit) and is often up and moving at 4am

her cafe closes at 3pm and only serves coffee drinks, smoothies, tea drinks, breakfast & brunch, lunch and snacks

she sometimes resents her family for the work she had to do for them, but at the same time focusing on them helped her grieve the loss of her uncle

she has tried to be one of those people who goes for a run, and decidedly is not

at most she’ll ride her bike

she can drive, but doesn’t have a car. she bikes or walks (mostly bikes)

she’s never travelled, but always wanted to

she used to think that she’d go to college somewhere brand new, maybe study abroad for a semester and see more of the world

unfortunately, that didn’t end up happening. she’s only ever been to marbella, kaos, and morocco for her grandmother’s funeral when she was a younger teen

she has moments of envy towards her siblings

she wants to be a plant person, but she can’t keep any plant alive. (she tends to over water them)

but she’s determined to fill her apartment with greenery anyway — but they’re all fake 

WANTED CONNECTIONS —

FAMILY FRIENDS: the naji family has lived on the island for the last 20 years, making them something of a staple in the community. perhaps your muse knew her uncle from elementary school, her mother from the museum, lorelei and her siblings from school, or maybe lorelei babysat for your muse’s family. wherever the relation began, the naji residence is like a second home for your muse. 

BEST FRIEND: lorelei takes on more than any one person should, and almost never lets down and relaxes. your muse would be somewhere she feels at peace, somewhere she can forget about her responsibilities for a moment and simply be herself. lorelei tends to let her friendships and relationships slip in the wake of her responsibilities, whoever this person is would have to be persistent and patient with her. 

DATE GONE WRONG: maybe lorelei was late because she worked too late, or they just didn’t hit it off, maybe it went well but lorelei never texted back. whatever the reason, things are somewhat awkward now (whether it be a mutual awkwardness, or one-sided.) all genders welcome! 

SUMMER ROMANCE: a past fling — it worked because it was never meant to last. they owed each other nothing, but acted as a welcome distraction for both parties. and when they both said their goodbyes after your muse went back to their life (wherever or whatever it may be), they never expected to meet again. ...and yet.

CAFÉ PATRONS: whether they’ve been drinking lorelei’s coffee since all she had was a street cart, or they’re new to the café itself, she values every customer (especially her regulars.) she’d work to remember their names, their orders, and any other tidbits of information they choose to share. 

[beanytheredonethat]

Learning to Fly: A reflection of 2016

2016 picked up right where 2015 left off, after a whirlwind of heartaches and hiccups, adventures and life lessons: damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead! I made some very bold choices at the beginning of this year, that changed my life forever. I married my best friend after being together for five-short-months. 

3,2,1: We eloped: A young sailor in his uniform and a blonde girl in a baseball hat. A casual pair who stood in front of a notary on a random Monday in March, committing to love each other for all that they are, and all that they ever will be, by simply signing a piece of paper. Though perhaps one of the crazier and seemingly impulsive decisions I have ever made, it is one that I can say with certainty and affirmation that I will never regret. A decision I made with my whole heart, and as a result, my life changed so drastically for the better. 

I moved away from all I had ever known, my small town and six jobs. My friends and family and first apartment I was so proud of. I set sail to a new life, as a new wife, packing up my little civic and making the long fourteen hour drive (yet again) with my father and sister to see me off. 

Here, I had a new house to turn into a home, and had to establish a new normal. I picked my grandmothers brain for recipes, turned white walls into collages and had fun “nesting” creating our little life here. Between building this nest, I found myself itching for more, longing to take off in any direction I felt would satisfy my desire for success, for perfection, for normalcy. I wanted to be better, and get there faster. I wanted to keep up with my beloved husband, who I felt was flying so high. I could only stare in awe.

The clouds of my ideas floated in the sky, just out of reach. Career options, schooling options, so many snap decisions that I believed were essential to building a life here. I leaped after them, only to fall beak first into the hard ground. Slightly humbled, slightly annoyed, I dusted myself off, climbed up the stone wall back into my cozy nest. Perhaps the cloud on the right would serve me better. 

Day after day, fall after fall, I climbed back into my nest, feathers ruffled as I would wait for my husband to soar home each night. Snuggled up together, I would sigh in what I felt was utter complacency. He encouraged me every night, not to worry, it would happen. I would find my direction, I would learn how to fly.2016 was learning that things truly do take time. 

It was learning patience in moments of frustration, and to be happy, and even grateful, in silence, and moments when life felt like it was at a total stand still. It was figuring out that sometimes the “hard work” people always describe is sometimes long, tedious and monotonous. No matter how long you’re in the fast lane, at some point you will hit bumper to bumper traffic. But even sitting in traffic, you are still in route.

This was an emotionally charged year, for everyone I know. It was very bittersweet. One of my dearest friends got pregnant with a child she had so desperately longed for, watching her transition into motherhood, (even if it is just in spirit) has been beautiful and inspiring. She is an amazing young woman and her child is so lucky to have her as “Mommy”.I got to be there when my best friend got engaged to a man she loves with all of her heart. We had a dream weekend together in Disney, that made the souls of our fifteen year friendship jump for joy.

I made some really strong new friendships here with the navy, and now I feel my heart start to ache as they are ready to depart to their next duty stations. One of the harder parts in the navy is saying goodbye, but we will meet again. I reconnected with lost friendships, and I lost friendships I felt most connected with. I learned how hard it can be to stick to your guns, and that the right thing is not always, (as a matter of fact, it is rarely) the easy thing.

 I learned that you can miss people (family or friends) who are truly toxic for you, and the discomfort of missing them is healthier than the discomfort of relationship. How I wish I could have learned this earlier, yet I am still grateful to be coming to terms with it now.I experienced loss, a truly devastating loss in my family. I had to deal with grief for the first time, and like a little child all I had ever known about object permanence was ripped away from me.

 I realized when one of the strongest people I know was taken away from me, just how truly temporary and fragile we all are. But the beauty among the pain is that all throughout his life, he gave us no room for regret. Everyday without fail he shared his love to his family and friends. Even if it was the only text I received all day I could count on “I love you” from him.

 I will live on with his example, and keep his advice and spirit in my heart forever.  I see his passion and fire in his children, and I am inspired by their bravery as they move forward, and continue to grow and shine as individuals in this crazy big world.It is turns out, the ever unsettling sentence that eats away at me also known as “it takes time”, is every bit true. 

All of the cleshe’s about life being a journey and not a destination are also true. When I explain to be people how I learned to ride horses I always say “I learned by getting on, eating dirt, getting back on, and eating dirt some more.” When it all comes down to it, its the same as you learn anything else. You try again, forcing yourself to experiment with new ways until you succeed. 

There is something healthy about never being satisfied, but it is equally imperative to to live in the moment. Learning to fly, for me, is a balance of both. I look forward to the sights I will see, and the flights I might take in the coming years ahead. 

[gclden-fidelity]

Sooo, I was doing a deep search through my files looking for muse and found this. I forgot I was even writing this. xD Read more link just to save room on dash. @musealot @daenyrps @tessaofmuses

As the blistering hot water ran over her hands washing the blood off, Andromeda simply stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes almost appeared vacant and dead as though all the love and empathy that once filled them was almost gone forever. She could only stand there and remember the events that had changed her life and made her this way. 

                 *Scene change – Flashback: The Black Family Mansion.*

It was in the last few days of summer before Andromeda’s 7th year that her family became more insistent that she make a choice about her future. The day was dark and miserable when her parents took her over to her Aunt and Uncle’s house. Andromeda never really enjoyed visiting the Black Family Mansion, it was always too gloomy and hatred seemed to fill the walls. The only consolation to her visits was being able to see her favorite cousin Sirius. However, this time was different, she had rarely ever seen her parents so serious (and that was saying a lot). There was pure silence as her Father knocked on the door. Almost instantly her Aunt opened the door and motions for them to come in before leading them into the living room. The awkward silence had become too much for Andromeda and she smiled as she began to ask. “So where is Sirius or Regulus?” The question was met with a strong glare by her Aunt before responding. “Regulus is being mentored by a family friend and making us proud. The other however is probably off with those filthy friends of his, and making this family a laughing stock!” Andromeda always hated how her family criticized Sirius for his choice of friends and views. She herself had common views as Sirius and also had friendships that she tried so hard to hide from her family. “Speaking of that boy, it is probably best that you stay away from him. We can’t have you being even more infected and damaged by his insolence.” Says her mother harshly. “In what way has Sirius ever infected or damaged me?” Andromeda asked her mother in protest. Finally her father breaks his silence and yells at Andromeda saying “I would shut your mouth if I were you! We know about the sneaking around that you have been doing with that filthy Mudblood boy! You have embarrassed this family and what is worse is that the boy we intended for you to marry knows. He told his parents of your weakness and now either your dowry must be raised or they will ruin your reputation!” Andromeda was taken back as her father yelled at her and as he spoke about Ted, she felt her heart sink into her chest. After her father was done yelling at her, Andromeda closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking at the floor and asked “What do you want me to do?” “I want you to be the daughter and Pure Blood that we expect you to be! You will have no more contact with the filth, meaning no more secret messages or meetings. I cannot even believe I am saying this, but if you have developed any sort of feelings for the Mudblood, you better be glad that it is too dangerous for me to kill him right now! Your Aunt and Uncle have decided to help cover the increase of your dowry and you will be very publicly engaged before returning to Hogwarts. After you graduate you will be married and at any time the Dark Lord may find that he has use for you, you will be grateful and obedient. Am I clear on what you must do?” Her father said sternly. Andromeda sat there struggling with what to say. How could she possibly accept such a plan? On the other hand, what would happen to Sirius, Ted and her friends whom her family would despise? Andromeda took a deep breath before looking up at her father and saying “Yes Father… I understand and I will do as you say. I will never speak to him again and I will be faithful to my future husband. You no longer have to worry about me disappointing or endangering this family.” Andromeda remained quiet for the rest of the meeting and all the way home. Late that night she wrote a quick letter to Ted, one final letter to say one last goodbye.

My Dearest Ted, Please understand that this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. You know how much I love you, how much I wanted to be with you. I know you will not want to accept this, but you must. We cannot continue to be together, this is what is best for the both of us, I promise you it is. Please do not try to owl me or talk to me at school. I will be engaged very soon and there is nothing we can do to stop it. I am being watched now and will be watched even closer at school. Don’t try to do anything brave, I would never forgive myself if anything bad happened to you. I need you to move on and have the life you deserve. You are a great man and I know that you could have a great future without me. I promise you I will be okay, I will never let them change me and I will always love you. Goodbye and goodnight my love. Your love forever, Meda 

As she resists the urge to cry, Andromeda puts the letter in an envelope, kisses it and then gives it to her owl. As her owl fly’s off into the starry night sky, Andromeda could no longer hold back her feelings and drops to the ground crying. She thought back on what she had wrote and felt so stupid and sad. How could she had been so stupid enough to promise him, the boy she loved, that she would be okay without him? As Andromeda sat there against the wall under her window, crying Narcissa slowly opens the door and walks in making Andromeda glance up at her. Narcissa looks at Andromeda, her eyes filled with empathy. “I am sorry Andy. I had to tell Mum and Dad, I felt as though I was losing you. If I hadn’t gone to them, they would have cast you out of the family.” Says Narcissa sadly. “I need time alone Narcissa, I understand your motive now please allow me to mourn the life I just signed away. Allow me to mourn my loss of him and the future we might have had… alone.” Andromeda says sternly taking her gaze off of her sister. It was at these words that Narcissa’s eyes watered up a little as she backed away from Andromeda and leaves the room. Andromeda remained in that spot until she cried herself to sleep. 

                                 *Scene change - Hogwarts bound*

The next few days were like a whirlwind nightmare for Andromeda. She was now engaged to a selfish and evilly harsh boy, whom had already, became a Death Eater. No doubt spending most of his summer vacation on assignments and training. Usually Andy was excited to go back to Hogwarts. She always felt as though she had more freedom there. However, she knew this year would be very different the freedom she once enjoyed there was now only a memory as her fiancé and Narcissa were now charged with the duty of watching her every move. Andromeda felt numb as she went through the gateway on Platform 9 3/4. All the noise around her seemed so muffled and yet she felt so trapped with her fiancé walking so closely to her and her engagement ring which felt like a leash or a cage rather than a promise of a bright future. She only glanced up once as the crowd of people started to get onto the train. Of course the one time she decides to look up her eyes immediately land upon Ted, sending a stabbing feeling deep in her heart. He had been standing nearby carefully watching her to make sure she was as okay as she claimed to be. Andromeda held back more tears as she gave Ted a little smile before grabbing her fiancé’s hand and quickly boarding the train with him. Fighting the urge to run after her, Ted casually boarded the train and found a spot in the compartment closest to where the Slytherins usually gathered. He didn’t want her to feel pressured, but he knew the smile she gave him was a forced one. Ted spent most of the ride worrying about Andromeda and trying to think of a way to talk to her alone. He needed her to be able to look him in the eye and promise him that she will be okay, which is something he knew she wouldn’t be able to do. Maybe there was a way to make her see that no matter what happens that their original plan to be together could work. At least that was what Ted held onto with a hopeful heart.

                           *Scene change – Ted tries to get Andy back.*

It took a few weeks for Ted to finally have a chance to get Andy alone. He knew she was always the last one out of a lesson, so he waited in a supply cupboard down the hall. Ted could tell from the lack of noise on the other side of the door meant that the hallway was nearly empty. He soon heard a person walk out of the classroom, hoping it was her he quietly opened the door and reached for her hand pulling Andy into the dark supply cupboard and quickly closing the door. “What the bloody hell! Who are you? Let me out!” Andy said forcefully. Just then Ted turned on the light and says. “Meda please its okay it’s just me. This was the only way I could think of to get a moment alone with you. To talk to you about that letter you sent me and what happened to make you doubt us so much. I need to know for sure that you will be okay. That fiancé of yours is a harsh guy, he has always been one of the slimiest gits at this school.” Seeing it was Ted made Andy calm down a little and listens to what he has to say. “Ted… you have every right to be confused and want to understand why things must end between us. But no matter what those reasons are, I know there is no stopping the feelings we have for each other. We have to try though, there is so much at stake here Ted and we can’t risk it. Please can’t we just live on the memories that we already have?” Andy said pleading knowing that if he convinced her to stay with him, he would die. A tear fell from her eye as she spoke to him, but the tear was quickly met by Ted’s soft, warm and gentle touch. Andy couldn’t help but hold his hand softly against her cheek as she looked into his eyes. She loved him and wanted him so much, but she was so afraid of what could happen. The gentle glow of the small light and their emotions seemed to make them forget they were in a dinky supply closet. It was though their surroundings were replaced just by that soft glow of light. Ted leaned in and kissed Andy softly, his lips lingering close to hers until Andy couldn’t hold back any longer and kissed Ted back, wrapping her arms around him, never wanting to let go. They stayed in the warm embrace for nearly twenty minutes before Andy pulled away again. Turning her back to him and holding back her emotions, she says. “Ted, I know you will never understand, but you just have to trust me. We have to stop, you need to move on and have the life you were meant to, your life without me. And I must go to my life without you.” Ted shook his head in refusal. “No Meda, you are the only girl I have loved and you will be the only one I ever love. I can’t just move on with another, just like I know that you will never love that idiot your family is obviously forcing you to marry. We knew this was going to be hard. But we always also knew that this, our love, is something worth fighting for. I know you might be afraid, but trust me when I say that we are strong enough to make it work.” Ted says as he gently places his hands on her arms. Andromeda quickly turns around to face him again determined to not let their love hurt him, her fear turning into rage. “NO! You don’t understand Ted! There is no way that we can make this work! You will never understand my life, my family or their expectations. They do not settle and they do not compromise. You will always just be a Mudblood to them! We have just been playing a childish game, being fools for thinking that this could ever work between us. Nothing like this lasts forever. We can stop this now or keep going and end up in a grave. There is no happy ending for us, there never will be. Leave me alone, and never forget that I am a Black. I will always be a Black and you will always be the son of Muggles!” Andromeda couldn’t even bare to see the look of heartbreak on Ted’s face anymore and quickly grabbed her stuff before pushing past him and out the door. Ted simply stood there for a little just trying to imagine how much fear she had to be feeling to say all of that. He never imagined he’d hear the term Mudblood come from her, but it had happened. Ted knew that he was losing her and there wasn’t much he could do about it. Perhaps Sirius might be able to talk some sense into her and bring her back to being the girl they both loved and admired. Sirius was the last hope for Andy as far as Ted could see, so Ted went off to find him and convince him to talk to Andy. 

                                         *Scene change – Sandy.*

[fromthebottomup-blog1]

Goodbye 2017, I thought you’d be different

The heavy weight of 2017 had me quite disappointed. I thought this would be a grand year, but instead I got death, sickness, misunderstanding, and a lot of mirror in the face syndrome. I did however obtain some great things as well. I guess, I’d sum up this year as an evil seesaw of circus magnitude. Unfortunately, it will get worse in 2018. 

It’s not that I am not hopeful, I just think the world is going through a transformation and like all transformations, there is a trajectory of chaos to tranquility. I’ve been on this path personally for a while and am hopefully coming out of the abyss. Not so much internal chaos, but more of a transition of lethargy and a cumbersome routine to actually pursuing what I want out of this life.

This year has been a whirlwind. The older we get the more swiftly time swooshes past us and the more we are reminiscent of those carefree college years. Youth, mostly. I felt the impact and realization that 45 is just around the corner and to be honest...it scares me. Watching the streaks of white hairs contrast with the black, noticing the wrinkles, noticing the heaviness of my body, noticing the thinness of my tresses and feeling the oppressive energy of the current world left me a bit disheartened and angry.

I experienced things this year like no other. I experienced alienation for my political and social stance on certain issues. I experienced the come to Jesus moment that I can no longer use my time to soothe the wounds of others while mine are newly scabbed. For the first time ever, I experienced racial prejudice. I also realized I’m not the right kind of feminist. I apparently was mistaken about what being a woman in this world means. I walked out of a job I loved for the first time in my life. I experienced severe anxiety for things I could not control and literally thought I was going insane. Despite how all this sounds, not everything was a big ball of negative energy, there was some room for the good.

This year I fell more in love. Love for the person who is consistently there for me. Love for the one who worries if he thinks something has happened to me. Love for the one I can laugh hysterically with for a good 15 minutes because let’s be honest...farts are funny. Love for his little one who constantly surprises us and makes us smile as she becomes her own little person, even if she isn’t mine. Love for the most thoughtful partner I’ve ever had in my life. Love for my family, although we have our differences, in the end I cherish them. Yes, there was a lot of love in the wake of the big bad that surrounded me.

This year I found a new calling. I have truly lived up to the moniker of “Dame of All Trades”. As I walked out of my dream job and into another, I realized that I deserve to be appreciated for the hard work I put in. I love that I can be creative. I love that I have a boss who doesn’t want to pin me down or throw my ideas away for his own, but who is nurturing and believes in what I bring to the table. I never would have thought that I would be in the real estate business, but hey, I surprise myself a lot sometimes. I feel like I can grow where I am and I feel more confident because of it.

This year I fell in love with Thomas Shelby in Peaky Blinders again. I celebrated my youth through Star Wars. I cried through This is Us. I savored every single moment of Game of Thrones and I binged through The Defiant Ones, Master of None, Stranger Things, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and The Handmaid’s Tale. It was an excellent time for visual stimulation. I did indulge in the YSL exhibit at the VMFA for some artistic love. I realized as I write this, I should probably incorporate more art into my routine. 

This year I I enjoyed the sonically charged Cult of Luna and Julie Christmas in New York, tested my old bones through Converge, and started it all off with City of Caterpillars at the beginning of the year. Revisited my adolescence by seeing the Psychedelic Furs again. I went to a house show where there was a Square at the “bar” and saw my friend’s Jimmy Eat World tribute band and I truly accepted that nothing will ever be the “same” again.  I was earwormed by Anousheh’s “Bones” and My Little Pony soundtracks...nothing like waking up in the middle of the night because you can’t get this out of your head:

So there was that. 

Finally this year was a lot of firsts. First time apple picking. First time having a real Christmas Tree. First time in 7 years with a semi new car. First time being debt free. First time singing Karaoke in a public venue in front of people (after several jello shots). First time I don’t feel guilty because I cannot change the past and although sad that people are manipulative and non-responsive, I know I did my best. And for the first time ever I have a core group of female friends who respect, understand, inspire, support, and care about me and I them like no other group of women I’ve ever had in my life before. Completely refreshing!

My connections remain strong and ever growing, my education perpetual, and despite the ugliness and sadness I felt during the whole year, I am hopeful. We will reach the enlightenment that is due. I feel like this year I’m beginning a new spiritual and creative journey.

I am forever thankful to my family and friends who give me strength and purpose. Thank you for never judging my decisions. I give a heartfelt sympathy for all of you who have lost someone this year. I know a lot of you lost family abruptly and I’m sorry you had to contend with that loss. To all the births this year, thank you for including me in your news and introducing me to your little ones, nothing brings me more happiness. To all those who’ve shut the door on our relationship, I am disappointed I meant so little, but I am not sorry for being me. To all those going through a divorce after such long histories...it is not over, there is always a beginning. To all those I reconnected with, you were never forgotten and I’m glad our friendship has endured. 

With that, I wish a hopeful, healthy, and prosperous 2018! We will resist and overcome all the turmoil, but there needs to be a disruptive catalyst in order for us to change.  Change is not easy, but necessary. Be kind to each other and show compassion. We are not the same and it is in those differences we can truly grow. Tell those around you that you appreciate them. Get rid of the clutter and open up your hearts. Happy new year to you all!

And here are my goals for 2018, if you feel like reading further:

Turn 45 with exceptional grace, lots of dancing and champagne

Travel somewhere I’ve never been

Love, Dance, Read, Write, and Collaborate More

Get my real estate license

Start a new creative venture

Finish a House | Find a Home

Do something constructive within my community

Go riding for the love of all that is equine!

See more art

See more music

[thenovl]

Cover Reveal: The Summer of Us

Calling all fans of Jenny Han, Stephanie Perkins, and Jennifer E. Smith (and TBH, who isn’t a fan of at least one of those authors?)! Today we have a cover reveal for your next favorite swoony summer read. Sure, it’s getting colder, but as all true book fans know, it’s never too early to add more to your TBR pile. The Summer of Us is by Cecilia Vinesse, author of the whirlwind Tokyo romance Seven Days of You--and this time, she’s taking us westward for a romp around Europe.

Here are all the details:

American expat Aubrey has only two weeks left in Europe before she leaves for college, and she's nowhere near ready. Good thing she and her best friend, Rae, have planned one last group trip across the continent. From Paris to Prague, they're going to explore famous museums, sip champagne in fancy restaurants, and eat as many croissants as possible with their friends Clara, Jonah, and Gabe.

But when old secrets come to light, Aubrey and Rae's trip goes from a carefree adventure to a complete disaster. For starters, there's Aubrey and Gabe's unresolved history, complicated by the fact that Aubrey is dating Jonah, Gabe's best friend. And then there's Rae's hopeless crush on the effortlessly cool Clara. How is Rae supposed to admit her feelings to someone so perfect when they're moving to different sides of the world in just a few weeks?

From the author of Seven Days of You comes a new novel about the magic of warm summer nights, the thrill of first kisses, and the bittersweet ache of learning to say goodbye to the past while embracing the future.

We don’t know about you, but we’re sooooo ready to see the cover. Well, here it is:

It just encapsulates all the elements of a flirty summer in Europe, doesn’t it? We asked Cecilia Vinesse a few questions to give you more details about her new book.

Give us your elevator pitch for The Summer of Us.

American expat Aubrey and her best friend Rae have just graduated high school in London, and, to celebrate, they’re interrailing around Europe with their friends Jonah, Clara, and Gabe. But when Aubrey’s complicated relationship with Gabe comes to light, and Rae’s crush on Clara takes an unexpected turn, their carefree adventure goes off the rails. It’s a story about long, lingering summer days and endless train rides and the friendships that keep us company on all the journeys we take.

Aubrey & Rae have planned an amazing trip - London to Paris to Amsterdam. Prague to Florence to Barcelona. Was this inspired by a trip you have taken?

I live in the U.K. and my family lives in France so I’m lucky enough to get to do a lot of train travel around Europe. Something I always think about these big trips is that they really test your relationship with the person you’re traveling with—you can go from feeling incredibly close to them to incredibly annoyed in the span of only a few minutes, all because you’re stuck in the same tiny train carriage together. When I was first working on my idea for this book, it occurred to me that the summer between graduation and the first year of college can be intense in a similar way—it’s stressful and exhilarating and you’re constantly balancing the feeling of trying to go along for the ride and waiting to discover what happens when it’s all over. So I decided to combine these experiences and, as an added bonus, take Aubrey, Rae, and their friend group to some of my favorite cities in the world.

There’s a great ensemble cast in this book. Which character do you relate to the most?

Aubrey is a super anxious traveler, and I definitely am, too. But when I was writing her, I thought ‘okay, I get nervous when I travel but not this nervous’. Until I recently went on a two-week train trip around Japan and realized that I was doing basically everything Aubrey does in the book: making detailed itineraries, triple-checking train times, overreacting when even the tiniest thing went wrong. So I guess I have to confess that her anxiety wasn’t much of an exaggeration after all….

Do you have a favorite line in The Summer of Us?

This moment is (no spoilers) important in Rae’s story, but writing it was also pivotal for me. It was the moment when I finally felt the characters and the world I was writing come fully to life. So it’s my favorite line (well, lines), because the same thing that was happening to Rae was also happening to me—I was staying up late, too, the ideas I was putting to paper coming alive around me. 

“The light clicked off, but Rae couldn’t sleep. She climbed down the ladder as quietly as she could and padded across the room to get her sketchbook and a pen. When she got back to bed, she tilted the sketchbook toward the window so it would catch a thin stream of moonlight, and she drew until the sun began to saturate the room. Until, eventually, she fell asleep, her bed filled with dreams made of ink.”

Tell us what you think about the cover!

When I got my ARCs in the mail recently, I honestly wanted to hug them, that’s how much I love this cover. The clouds! Those city cut-outs! That gorgeous, wistful font! There’s something about it that just feels like a bright summer day. I hope readers love it as much as I do and feel that warmth and brightness and excitement, too.

Yes, yes, yes! We love the cover, too. It reminds us of all the good things about summer. The Summer of Us gave us wanderlust, so we might go look for flights to Europe now...

The Summer of Us comes out on June 14, 2018--just in time for summer! Shelf it on Goodreads and follow #SummerofUsBook for more!

[mubal4]

Friendship

As I go through my days, whether it is reading, listening to podcasts, watching some inspirational video, or just noticing that which his happening around me, I am blessed with thoughts and ideas of content to share via my blog posts or podcasts.  Some of those thoughts are fleeting and just leave and there are others that stick.  Those that stay I either immediately publish or I jot down in my manifest to refer back to later when the urge compels me to put it out there.  Currently, I have a list of things that I want to share but today’s is about my thoughts on friendship.  See, one of those topics that just took precedent over the others that are in line to get out. 😊

 In the last month, my family has experienced a whirlwind of friendship moments.  Saying goodbye to those back in PA as we set out west.  This was tough for Robin and me, but mostly for the girls.  These are friendships they grew up with, all they’ve known, and were deeply rooted in.  Robin said goodbye to all her friends she has taught with over the last 11 years; truly amazing people and all with hearts of gold.  We, all of us, said goodbye to a number of friends that we’ve not only lived near and around for the last 11 years but have also been friends with for over 20.  In most of those instances, we know we will see many of them again and a few of them very soon 😊.  Many of my friends from high school said goodbye to a special person as God needed another angel to add to his team.  That was tough from a whole other perspective.  But with that loss, like in every moment of challenge, there was silver lining.  Many of those folks that, none of us may have connected since high school, got to reconnect, share some time with one another, and re-establish contact.  Yes, the circumstances were no ideal but the contact and engagement with so many great people were fulfilling.  As we traveled across the country, in route to Phoenix, there were others we were able to visit with; this time on Robin’s side of the fence with her family and high school friends.  Then, of course, upon arriving in Phoenix, being able to see and begin our new journey with our west coast family out here.  And, just this week, as I was in Denver for business, Isabella’s Godfather and my partner-in-crime in ridiculousness, Bryan Shane, came out of the high country to grab some dinner and catch up.  

 As he drove me to the airport this morning (thanks again brother) and dropped me off, a deep sense of gratitude came over me, not just for the ride, but for all these amazing people we have been fortunate to connect with over the last several weeks.  I am very overwhelmed with the amount of gratitude I have in my heart for so many wonderful people we, Robin, Alaina, Isabella, and I, have been fortunate to be able to call friends.  Yes, some friendships are closer than others but there are so many of you out there that, in some way shape or form, even something small, you have made an impact on my life and have helped me become who I am.  Something one of you said, maybe just commented to me on social media or much bigger, like everything Bob Cook and his family have done for me over the 30 years we’ve been friends.  Bryan and his family – I can’t say enough about all of you.  However, I do want to pause on these two families for a minute.  And, by no means does this take anything way from other families that have been part of my life, but the Cook Family & the Shane Family have been with me for the long haul.  I think this is where the powerful feeling of gratitude is surfacing from.  A few weeks I spent several hours with Bob and his family, it had been a while since we connected, couple of years, but, like all great friendships, we picked up where we left off.  Bryan and I are exactly the same way, it is like we see each other and communicate with each other every day.  It is awesome because those bonds are so tight.  These two guys, and, well, their families as well, have seen me at my best moments, and, unfortunately, at my worst.  No matter what I did, who I thought I was at the time, my beliefs, my actions, or that phase in my life, they always accepted me as I was.  Again, there are so many others I can say this about that I hold deep in my heart, but these guys, we are talking over 30 years of friendship and, at least in my mind, still going strong.  

 Typically, Bob and I never got too deep into our conversations but a few weeks back we were talking about life and the circumstances that brought us together this time.  It is just wonderful to get his perspective, especially on the kids’ side with two kids now in college (holy shit we are getting old).  Bryan and I have always had deep conversations and we have a very similar outlook on life; that happens when you spend multiple days in the woods together, running, hiking, moving, and hallucinating!!!

 They both possess so many great qualities that, over the years I’ve tried to learn and master, as they have – I am so thankful for the wisdom guys.  They, and their families, have helped me grow and become the person I am, through good and bad.  As I write this, I still have that feeling of gratitude and am incredibly thankful that God has blessed me with so many amazing people in my life.  To the Cook’s and Shane’s, thank you for picking me up when I was down, protecting me and keeping me safe, and most importantly, loving me and accepting me for me.  To Bob and Bryan, I can’t say thank you enough for all you have done for me through the years, helping me become a better husband, father, and person, and for your friendship for so long.  You guys are great and love you all!!

[compohapm]

Love

This section is dedicated to the few who still hold a piece of my heart. With each person I've conjured a memory, so that I may always remember how it feels to love and be loved. Katie K:        First love is true and beautiful. When that person takes the first steps into the undisturbed snowfield of your heart the prints they leave behind are deep and unmarred by time or circumstance. Such is how it is with Katie. We were young, so young, when we met in the forests of Paradise Park to perform in Orpheus and Eurydice. So many of my memories with Katie are caught up in the theater, as we both were avid actors in our time.        There were horror movies together on her parents couch, just two kids sharing a hawaiian pizza with black olives and the occasional quick kiss. There were long nights burning minutes on a Nokia track phone. It takes awhile to learn to be sincere and romantic when using the dial pad to text your love. Youthful love leads to many silly things said when looking back in hindsight: “I would walk through flames for you.” or something to that effect comes to mind.

      The memory I'm thinking of breaks the rules of this compendium, which is fine because I'm the author of this story here: This isn't a particularly happy memory, nor is it particularly sad; what it is is the first goodbye I made to someone I love. My last day of High School was a whirlwind of farewells, but for her I needed something special. We stood alone on the stage we had shared so many times before, and the silence of the room was palpable and the empty seats stared at us as we held each other.

      Her eyes welled with tears as she prepared for me to go and though I wanted to cry I could not because I was excited about my future, even if it meant saying goodbye for now. The thing about that love that still strikes me today is how I hadn't a fear at all of not spending the rest of my life with her. First love will do that to you: When you've let someone into your heart so deeply you cannot think of wrenching them out.

      As we were sharing our parting words I remember the distinct bang of a door in the theater opening. It was a custodian coming to sweep the stage and when he saw us he let us continue to be alone and I always thought that was considerate of him. Before we ended I knew my exit well. There was a door backstage left that opened to outdoors behind the school. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I lived and breathed acting in my four years at Windsor High School and so I thought it was fitting that I would be quite literally exiting stage left.

        When I think on this memory, I see her cool blue-gray eyes and feel the coolness of her small hands in mine. I can see the loveliness of her high cheeks and her ears, which I've always loved for their shape, and her thin pursed lips. When we'd kiss it wasn't so much passionate as gentle—more compassionate than anything else. When I think of truly innocent and pure love, she is what I think of. Sarah S:          Sarah was my first friend at Bennington College and even before we arrived I had already messaged her after seeing her name in a Facebook group for Bennington class of 2013. We shared our excitement, though I believe I was a bit more excited due to the fact I had never left Windsor, VT at that point in my life. The first time I saw her in person was at the Student Center on Campus the very first day I arrived for orientation. She was with her roommate Montana, a bubbly girl with striking red hair, and they were getting snacks or something to take back to their dorm which was on the other side of Bennington's small campus from my own dorm. I think that night I went to their room and got stoned and then got lost on my way back to my dorm that night.        Sarah is shortish, and she had long brunette hair and the subtlest freckles flecking her nose and cheeks around her coastal blue eyes. We had in common one crucial detail to our friendship: We both came to Bennington with significant others waiting for us back home. This lead me to feel secure in becoming inseparable from Sarah for my first year and a half at school. When I say inseparable, I mean just that: We did everything together, went everywhere together, ate dinner together, did laundry together, signed up for classes together, even lived together at one point as roommates. That time spent with her as my best friend are precious to me still and I smile often when I think of the hell we raised together.        The memory I'm thinking of didn't take place in Bennington. Instead, it takes place in Provincetown, Massachusetts. I was visiting Sarah over the summer after our Freshmen year. We both had the same sense that summer that Bennington felt like a distant dream and that we missed each other after growing so close. She lived on Cape Cod and invited me to stay for a weekend. With each mile drawing me closer to her, I smiled foolishly to myself on the long bus ride to the Cape.        We did many things that trip. Fishing with her father, driving to the beach, and eating what is still in my mind the best burrito I've ever had from the Cornerstore in Chatham. This trip must have been in July because it was near her birthday. Both of us at this time being avid pot smoking college kids, I had brought some edibles with me as a birthday present. We decided to take them before we went to Provincetown for dinner.         P-Town is wonderful place with lots of shops and restaurants, great views of the ocean, and lots of gay pride. As we walked together on the cobblestone street we were bemoaning the lack of potency of the edibles I'd brought. We were hoping to have them kick in before dinner, but with that seemingly out of the question we stopped at a restaurant called Bayside Betty's. As we stood and waited to be sat at a table, the edibles kicked in. They kicked in hard. Potency was not a problem.         Seated at the table we were all smiles and giggles. I felt like everyone was staring at these two crazy college kids clearly a breeze away from hysterical laughter. My body was warm and tingly and I could feel a hazy heaviness on my eyes. That dinner is, to this day, one of the best meals I've ever had. It wasn't necessarily the food because I can't remember anything we ate past the appetizer, which was escargot and I thought that eating snails was hilarious because at that moment everything was hilarious, but the meal was great because of the situation and the company. She looked lovely in the candlelight of the table. This girl sitting across the table gets me. We're so damn good together. I wish we were together, I thought. I wish.         After a nice gay couple sat at the table next to us and chatted us up for a bit (they must have known we were blitzed) about the man at the table behind us who looked like a modern day gay Lincoln (he did), we finally went over the edge and were cackling like hyenas. We had to leave and we knew it. When we paid and got up to leave I tripped over a wood carving of a goose and nearly hit the floor. I can still see her wide-eyed expression as she suppressed a laugh and started to leave ahead of me. Outside in the cold sea air of the night we hugged and walked back to her car, laughing all-the-while.        Six years later, I still smile when I think about it. Breya L:        There have been countless stories written about the one who got away. If I were to be Gatsby, I think that Breya will forever be my Daisy. She was my first serious and adult relationship. She had the most adorable heart-shaped face—everything about her was adorable to me. Her voice, her mannerisms, her dainty body, and her wide smile. She was always energetic, like lightning in a bottle, and when she talked of her dreams I believed she would achieve them based on her attitude and skill. I met her in the ceramics shop at Bennington, clay in my beard and on my clothes as I wrestled with a four inch pot destined to become an ashtray. I was amazed to watch her form these huge yet delicate pots as she was up to her elbows in wet white porcelain.         There are almost too many happy memories to think of with her. In our time we traveled from Vermont, to Maine, to a happy little island, to the big happy island of Hawaii, and back. Even subtle memories come bubbling to the surface when I close my eyes, something along the lines of watching “Vikings” or “Marble Hornets”--a silly mystery thriller series on Youtube that we both got caught up in. The memory I'm thinking of makes me smile because of just how aloof I was.         I was visiting her over the summer at her mother's house on Cliff Island, Maine. I watched the tiny island grow closer as the ferry I took from Portland inched forwards. I knew that I would have a little time to kill before I could see her, as she was working at the Cliff Island Historical Society and would have to come meet me from there. When the ferry landed I realized I was hungry. I found a little shop close to the dock and headed there to get a bite to eat. I saw on the menu “Maine Lobster Rolls” and thought, hell, when in Rome. I devoured the entire thing in a couple minutes as I waited a little impatiently for my love to come into view.

       Not much later I saw her, and she saw me. She was somewhere between a skip and a run as she moved towards me, brilliantly radiating her wide smile to me. I picked her up in a huge embrace and swung her 'round in a circle before setting her back on her feet again. She asked how I was, how was the ferry, and if I had to wait long. I told her I was better now that I was with her and had some food in my belly.

      But when I told her about my delicious lobster roll I had polished off just moments before, her face changed. The smile didn't completely disappear but became withdrawn and anxious. She may have made an audible “Oh.” or something, but didn't at once tell me what had caused this sudden change. As my brain was firing on all cylinders trying to solve this riddle, a random nueron fired off and hit the target true: Along with being lactose intolerant, Breya was allergic to shellfish—that includes the lobster meat stuck in the crags of my teeth. I definitely made an audible “Oh shit” at this realization, followed by effusive apologies and cursing my own stupidity.

       Not one to have a happy moment ruined, she shrugged it off with a laugh and told me it was okay, but that I wouldn't get to kiss her until I brushed my teeth at her house. I was devastated. Sure, I wanted to kiss her before, but now that I couldn't I was utterly defeated. As she was able to do on countless occasions, she clasped her hand in mine and pulled me and my sullenness along to her house, lifting my spirits with every step and every word. That was the power she had: She always made me happy, even when I didn't want to be.

      As I'm writing this, she's done it again. Kerry B:       She came out of nowhere. One day she appeared in my life, and I remember saying her name to myself as I texted her one night. “Kerry B____. Wow.” She had been a friend of my good friend Jake while they were in college. They were R.A.'s together and had remained close after school had ended, despite her living in Wareham, Massachusetts. I forget the occasion but the first night I met her she was wearing a blue dress. I remember thinking how pretty she was. I didn't talk to her too much that night, but we exchanged social media information and in time we grew closer. I was, and am, amazed by her intelligence. She has read so many books, watched so many documentaries, and yet didn't act like a know-it-all like I would, and do.        Her hair was in constant flow and I loved to watch her change the colors. Brown with pink, full fuschia, magenta, blue, teal, and at one point she was blonde, but that was before I met her. I liked her nose. It was rounded at the tip, the same roundness mirrored in her cheeks, and when she smiled sometimes she'd keep her mouth closed and close her eyes and I thought that was just the bee's knees. It cannot go without saying either that she had fantastic taste in dresses, and I particularly loved the Starry Night dress.

     Soon she moved to Windsor to be closer to Jake, move away from home, and I think at least partially to be closer to me. A few months went by and we started living together. I was living with my mother and desperately looking for an affordable apartment. After my main option fell through, she quite generously offered to have me move in with her. Sure, her apartment was small and she had a lot of things, but we would make it work. She was determined to make us fit. She is to this day the only person I've loved and lived with full time. I used to love to watch her sew. It was amazing to watch her operate her fairly successful Etsy store, making bags of all sizes and selling them all over. She could sit and sew and watch documentaries on WWII all day, and I would love to sit behind her on the couch while she worked, me playing video games at the end of a long day and her still working steadily.

      The memory I'm thinking of took place at a little karaoke bar/Chinese place. We were there with her friends for a few drinks and to hear some bad karaoke. This was still early in our relationship so I was nervous as hell around her. I held her hand under the table and attempted to make conversation with everyone at the table, but it was hard given the guy screaming his way through Megadeth's “Peace Sells...But Whose Buying?” At some point her friend suggested we dance, and me being a few drinks in and not shy at all agreed. I could sense Kerry's hesitation, but she relented and joined us. We danced silly and like no one was watching and it was fun. It was so fun. Her friend pulled me aside later and told me that since I got her to dance in front of strangers that she must really like me.

      Before we even got to the car to go home she was yelling that she wanted to listen to Tom Petty. I learned pretty quickly that after three Budweisers (Her beer of choice, bottle only) that she goes from being fairly reserved to being loud and rambunctious. When we got in the car and the Tom Petty started playing she sang along to all the words. I loved to hear her sing, and I never told her that and I should have, but watching her eyes closed and head thrown back as she sang “Don't do me like that!” made my heart flutter wildly. She was beautiful in that moment, and every moment after.

Elizabeth O:

      If love was ever in a cup of tea, it was in Lizzy's Earl Grey. She herself was as soothing and restorative as that hot afternoon tea. She and I met in the summer I worked at Ohana Family Camp in Fairlee. She came from Scotland, was a photographer and boating instructor, and potentially the biggest Disney fan I'd ever met. Our time was altogether too short, but still brings me great happiness to remember.

      She had long perfumed brown hair that I used to like to see tucked behind her smallish ears. Her chestnut eyes shined brightly on those sunny days by the lake, and she always looked too cool wearing her sunglasses standing on a boat. Her voice was soft and lightly infused with her Scottish accent, and I could talk with her for hours about nothing and be happy for it. We did little things for each other that meant so much. As I mentioned previously, seeing her in the afternoon and her asking if I wanted a cup of tea was something I always looked forward to. In the handful of times I left camp with a few friends to get pizza and beer at Ramunto's, I'd always remember to bring her back a dessert—Red velvet cake, if they had it. She never asked me too, but I felt compelled to because I even away from her she was still on my mind.

      The memory I'm thinking of was of our first date. I had the feeling (and some small bit of intel) that she might be interested in me and I felt emboldened enough to ask her if she'd like to accompany me to the waterfront on our next day off for a picnic. I loved watching her smile as she said yes, and I could have floated away carried off by nothing but the butterflies in my stomach. I asked around until I could borrow a picnic basket from someone and went straight to work with planning.

     Wine, chocolates, fruit, cheese, chicken salads, and a blanket to sprawl on were all packed away and ready, and after a bit of chiding from my friends watching me pack I set off to meet her. When we got to the waterfront we looked for some shady and secluded spot near the shore. We ended up climbing over, near hiking through, thistles and weeds and branches until we found a lovely flat spot for our picnic. I remember thinking that a lesser person would have complained about the difficulty of finding a spot for what was supposed to be our relaxing picnic, but she remained content and was a perfect companion.

     We talked politics for awhile, I asked about Scotland and she about Vermont. We both enjoyed traveling and I listened to her stories as I we sipped a bold red wine that in hindsight should have been reserved for a heavy dinner and replaced by a Rose or Pink Moscato. No matter, because nothing including the ants assailing the fruits we'd brought could ruin that moment or spoil our picnic.

     In every memory of her, whether star gazing, swimming, picnicking, or just watching Treasure Planet for the first time, I was always amazed at how effortless loving her was. She made it seem easy to be so good. There will always be a spot in my heart for those long summer nights that never seemed to end until they did. Natalie O:      Eat diamonds for breakfast and shine all day was what the picture on her wall said. And she did shine all day, every day. Her energy was only outweighed by her intelligence and savvy and I admired her greatly for her focus. Though she was very beautiful, with brownish-green hazel eyes and gorgeous auburn-brown hair, I found her determination even more attractive. She could go from carefree whimsy to professional and business like in an instant. She could kill me with a look, knock me over with a feather.

     I used to love to watch her make breakfast. She moved so much like a dancer, full of grace and poise with every little bounce. She'd sing when she cooked, too. Her mellifluous voice filling the morning air and lifting the mood with her dulcet tones. I loved to hear her sing in French, speak in French. Those morning breakfasts with her were worth well more than diamonds. She would often give me advise about things, including one critical piece I still live by: “You have to advocate for yourself because no one else will.” She taught me to know I have worth by literally writing on a whiteboard “Cody Has Worth Because __________” with probably twenty different examples. When I didn't have the will to eat after a long day, she was there waiting for me with something she made at home, or would make me something as simple as a sandwich that would be panacea to my aching bones. At a time when I felt lower than I'd ever been, she saved me with these things. I don't know that I've ever thanked her properly.

     The memory I'm thinking of was in a brook near where she lived at the time. She pulled the car over to the side of a windy dirt road and we got out with our towels in our hands. After climbing over an embankment and onto the large sun-warmed boulders that sprawled throughout the length of the brook, I watched her slip coolly into the clear rushing waters. We swam together, though I swear she made everything look more graceful than me, and even sat beneath a small waterfall. I loved the feeling of the cold water pounding against my head and neck, and with her beside me feeling the same. We were one with each other and the brook in that moment. There is my own piece of Rivendell.

     We pulled our soaking bodies from the brook to dry on some warm rocks. I could see her from a small distance and was reminded of the stories in Greek myths about men watching Nymphs bathing in cool waters from afar. Lots of things about her seemed mythical to me. The wings of Hermes tattooed on her heels made it easy to believe she was a no mortal, but a goddess from days of old.

     If there is magic, it can be found in her. Giovanna Z:

     I only had to introduce myself a few times before I could get my name to stick in her head, but I was happy when it did. I knew her name after the first introduction because I remember her sticking out to me wherever she was. In a room filled with people and noise the only thing I'd see is her. In the beginning, when I wanted nothing more than to talk to her, I found myself scared to approach her. She was too pretty, I was surely gonna make a fool of myself, particularly when I've only just gotten out of work and was still covered in food and kitchen grime.

     The contrast of her nearly black hair and luminous blue eyes made my knees weak. When she smiled her teeth were small and pointy, and I loved them and the way her smile made her eyes squint. When I finally worked up the courage to talk to her it was because she approached me, and I was amazed at how down-to-earth she was despite her fine appearance. She was drinking a Narragansett because it was cheap—I loved that. When I told her I was drinking Miller Lite, I noticed that was the next beer she got—I loved that, too. When I introduced her to my friends Dominick and Carrie, she took to them immediately too.

     No memory of Giovanna would be complete without including her steady companion Domo—a brindle English bulldog. I liked him very much, and when I'd see him his tail would wag so quickly it made his whole butt shake and I'd say, “You're crazy!” and he would go crazy. She loved animals, studied biology, and previously had worked for the parks department. Though she was from Rhode Island, I felt like she fit in well here in Vermont because of her relatively solitary nature and polite disposition. It's hard to think of just one memory considering there are many happy memories to choose from. When we visited her family in Rhode Island, we shot some big handguns, drove a golf cart like Mario Andretti, ate pizza past midnight watching “Forensic Files,” and even went to a hookah bar that was terribly overpriced. I loved the way she talked her way out of getting her car towed in a bank parking lot, and I really liked the long drive there and back with her.

      The memory I'm thinking of contains simultaneously the worst and best camping experience I've ever had. As summer was coming to a close, and colder nights approaching, I wanted to go camping with Giovanna as that was something that we both enjoyed doing and we could bring Domo, who also probably enjoys camping. I wanted everything to be perfect, especially considering the newness of or relationship and my own insecurities that come with that territory. I had thought that I'd been camping at this one campsite, Running Bear, as a kid—unfortunately I had mixed that up with Ascutney State Park down the road from Running Bear.

     With her car packed and loaded with tents, beer, and food, we arrived at Running Bear and pulled up to the main lodge. Inside we talked to the man behind the counter and explained to him we were looking to camp in a tent for the night. I seemed to shrug it off like it was no problem, and said it was going to $40. Now, I know that's pricey for a tent site, but I wanted this to be perfect and maybe this would be a really nice spot. He told us as we were leaving that there were water and electricity hook-ups at our tent site. Huh. The crossed muskets adorned with Confederate flags that hung above the entrance to the grounds should have clued us in to what we were getting ourselves into. As we drove through the grounds it became clear that this was not so much a campground as a trailer community or long term RV lots—this was evident by the gardens outside of some of the trailers as well as the large collections of ATV's, cars, and lawnmowers strewn about. Children were chasing clucking chickens in the twilight of the evening and as we parked at our tent site, which was oddly at the center of the grounds surrounded by campers, I felt like people were staring at us when we got out of the car.      I should mention that I don't believe that there is anything wrong with staying in trailer community. But all too suddenly we both realized that this was not the camping experience we were envisioning. When I asked Giovanna what she wanted to do, she was content and smiled. She was willing to camp here regardless of the situation. I always admired her willingness to stay there as a testament to her good nature. As I stared at the Giants game that the camper next to us was watching from the futon that faced his porch, I made the call that this was unacceptable. I knew a place we could go.

     A short drive down the road and we were at the entrance to Paradise Park. We needed to hurry because daylight was waning and we hastily pitched our tent in a large clearing by the fire pit. She was all smiles once camp was established, saying that this place was perfect with our tent being the only one around for miles and the beautiful view of the stars overhead in the clearing. This was what we were looking for. Just a small piece of land for two people and a big dog. That night I watched the light from the fire illuminate her the beauty of her face, and we talked for hours into the night. We drank cheap beers and ate fire-roasted hot dogs and sausages. It was so simple and so perfect.      Lying on the hard earth next to her with Domo wedged in there somewhere was soothing, and I slept peacefully.