#softspoonie

[neuroticboyfriend]

Hey friends ! I'm starting respite on Monday, and will be there for 28 days. I'm feeling hopeful about the reprieve from my toxic family, but I'm also stressed because of the financial side of it.

This is to say, I could still use transportation/food money (thank you to the person who gave me some before!), and if you're able to help out, that'd be great! <3

Venmo: Julesfairy

0/200 USD??

For reference, train rides are $7 round trip, ubers are $20-$60 round trip, and food is Expensive. I need to go to support groups every day for my recovery, so. Yeah.

[theherooftime00]

Hello guys, gals and non-binary pals. I am so sorry that you have found yourself on these tags. I know I can't say much to fix your day but I hope this cat helped ease your mind for even a moment. (This is one of my favorite memes)

[nekro-mantic]

God. I keep realizing I'm taking ridiculously high doses of THC (50 to 100mg regularly) and that it's not healthy and is definitely making my schizophrenia (specifically my psychosis) worse

But.

I can't stop wanting to take high doses.

I didn't realize the THC abuse was that bad already. I've only been taking them a few months ago.

[queen-astraea]

This place is weird (I like it) and enjoys pictures of tweets so here is mine 😂

[neuroticboyfriend]

chronic fatigue from mental illness and neurodivergency isn't something you can just will your way out of. your nervous system is part of your body. your brain is an organ. the fatigue is real. you're not lazy. so be kinder to yourself. be gentler with your bodymind.

[neuroticboyfriend]

IM GOING TO CRY THEY MIGHT INCREASE THE SSI ASSETS LIMIT TO $10,000.

it's a bipartisan bill too! and for anyone unaware, people on SSI (which is different from SSDI), can only have $2,000 in assets (unless they have an ABLE account, which comes with its own rules). this assets limit has been in place for FORTY YEARS and is a giant part of why being on SSI keeps people incredibly impoverished.

i've also heard they might remove the marriage penalty but i don't have the spoons to read or explain it so someone else please add on!

this is huge! please spread the word and do what you can to help ensure this happens!

[neuroticboyfriend]

it's never too late to start brushing your teeth again. i basically never brushed my teeth for a whole 10 years. a decade. A DECADE. i still struggle to brush my teeth once a week, but it all started with brushing my teeth once every few months. so i mean it when i say brushing your teeth once a week, a month, a year, or even a decade, is better than nothing.

and still, nothing is not shameful. it is not immoral to struggle with self care. and it is also not pointless to keep trying. anything you can do, even if its wiping plaque off with a towel, is enough. it is good to take care of yourself however you can, even if it's just trying to muster the will to. reading this post is good, too.

i believe in you and i am proud of you, even in the smallest of steps. it's okay. you can give yourself grace.

[neuroticboyfriend]

once again thinking about how fucked up it is that special ed used me and other disabled children as unpaid, coerced labor. i worked enough to be making $100 a week. i was "paid" in fake money redeemable only at the school cafeteria, which i worked at, and was forced to do things that distressed me. they gave us $1 a week, if they remembered to give it to us at all.

this was while i would sometimes go the entire day without eating because i didn't have the money to buy food and the free food was not sensory safe. we also worked outside the community - grocery stores, warehouses, shoe stores security tagging items. all under the guise of job skill development, we did $100 of labor a week without ever getting paid. and we were demeaned while we did it. and we were just teens.

so no, i don't want to hear about how special education is good. not with the way me and my peers were treated and taken advantage of. death to institutionalization, in all forms.

[neuroticboyfriend]

next specialist to refuse testing or blame my maladies on my anxiety or weight despite me asking (begging, at this point) for further testing/a differential diagnosis is getting hit with the "document your refusal in my chart." no i am not "taking it one step at a time" no i am not accepting "you're just anxious" or "you're just overweight" as an answer. you are going to be a FUCKING DOCTOR and treat me. fuck you.

this is ok to reblog btw, i Encourage people in similar situations to express their anger. you deserve better we all fucking deserve better. no more being afraid of making them upset or angry. THEY make us suffer and want to die with their negligence. whatever discomfort we bring them by demanding documentation doesnt mean SHIT compared to what we go through.

rise up my disabled siblings, we have nothing to lose but a shitty fucking doctor.

[neuroticboyfriend]

relapse is not a moral failure. substance use and addiction are not a moral failure. mental illness is not a moral failure. disability is not a moral failure. you have a health condition. you are struggling. recovery is not mean to be perfect, and if you're not in recovery, surviving is good too. i'm glad you're here, and i hope life treats you better soon. please know this is not your fault. you do not need to feel guilty over your own health.

[neuroticboyfriend]

what matters most about your interests is that they make you happy. whether other people find them productive is irrelevant. you don't have to produce anything. you are not a machine. your interests aren't for others. your interests are for you. do what makes you happy.

[neuroticboyfriend]

tip for people with chronic pain/fatigue: lay down occasionally. haven't laid down in the past 3-5 hours? do it (if you can) and see how you feel. i've found that i'll lay down in bed just to be in my room, but then i get hit with an instant wave of relief because just sitting on the couch was too much for my body, and i didn't realize it.

when you're in pain or fatigued for a long time, your awareness of your body may get wonky - especially if you already struggle w/interoception due to neurodivergency. so. test it, sometimes. you can apply it to other things too: sit if you're standing. stop doing a task if you've been doing it for a while. have a small snack to see if you're hungry. etc. etc.

[neuroticboyfriend]

you don't have to be productive for your life to matter; you have inherent worth simply by being alive. your productivity also doesn't determine if you're a good or bad person; you are more than what capitalism expects you to be.

you are an entire person with feelings, dreams, thoughts, wants, needs, things you enjoy, values... that matters a lot more than working in any capacity - as a job, at school, at home... you're just so much more significant than that.

[neuroticboyfriend]

If you struggle with substance abuse but not addiction, you still deserve support. If you struggle with suicidality/self harm urges but don't act on it, you still deserve support. If you struggle with psychosis and paranoia but have insight, you still deserve support. If you struggle with anything but are "coping with it," you still deserve support.

You dont need to be in imminent crisis to get help - safety planning, harm reduction, resources, and accommodations. You're still struggling. You're still suffering, You're still at risk/in danger. You deserve better - you need better. Your health and wellbeing matters.

[neuroticboyfriend]

As an adult still living with their abusive parent, I often find that affirmations meant to empower me are unhelpful at best. They often feel like they're overstating the amount of agency I have as an adult; I've spent my entire life being abused. It's all I know and I have a lifetime of conditioning and nervous system damage to show for it.

All that doesn't just go away now that I'm older than 18, and neither do the material circumstances that keep me here. Even though I have more legal rights and have grown since I was younger, I am still not in control by the very nature of being the victim in an abusive relationship. So, for those who relate, here are some affirmations that might hit different:

My abuser does not have my best interests in mind, even if they think they do.

I am my own person; my mind and body belong to me.

My feelings are justified, and I deserve to feel and express them.

I am doing what I need to survive, and that is all I need to do.

I am doing my best given the knowledge, resources, and support I have.

I am the only person who can decide what is best for me.

My situation is unfair and wrong. I deserve to be happy and safe.

I do not have to engage in toxic positivity; that will only hurt me.

As long as I am alive, there is something good in this life for me - no matter how small.

I have inherent rights just because I exist.

I shouldn't have to deal with this on my own; I deserve support and protection.

Everything I need is something I deserve. Everything I deserve is something I need.

If any of these don't resonate, feel free to discard them. Everyone finds comfort and empowerment differently.

[neuroticboyfriend]

Shoutout to people who speak "overly formally." You deserve to express yourself in whatever way feels most natural and fulfilling for you. The way you speak isn't pompous, annoying, or mockable; it's just how you communicate, and there's nothing wrong with that. Your voice adds creativity and diversity to this world, and I think that's amazing.