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#solve the problems and like still I'm so unbelievably stressed but like also as an empath i feel everything really deeply but usually lately
sheerioswifties · 1 year
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#so today i broke down and fully cried over realizing the reality that i probably won't be able to go see Taylor on this tour#and i felt so stupid for it like crying over not getting to see a concert seems so trivial and i mean so many reasons but like#and like i don't cry much anymore like I've been through and am in so much pain and horrible stuff constantly and so much stress and trauma#but I've built up strength to not cry over those things like if i did I'd just be crying nonstop so i channel my emotions into trying to#solve the problems and like still I'm so unbelievably stressed but like also as an empath i feel everything really deeply but usually lately#the things that make me cry are more like sweet animal rescue videos acts of kindness touching stories or really deeply inspirational or#relatable things in books etc but so like I'm like mad at myself for crying over this but#i checked the stubhub like prices for what tix are going for and it's fucking over 500 a pop for nosebleeds i just#it's infuriating the scalping and how many hard core fans are unable to go bc of that but rich ppl who aren't really fans i just. 1000 bucks#for 300 level is just no I'm sorry that's not ever gonna happen and i just#i really thought I'd just find tickets over time closer to the event like that's how I've done several concerts but then i looked and saw#that and I'm like oh my god and that's before fees and then there's the gas to get there the repairs that need to be done to the car to get#there all the other fees involved and in realizing oh my god like I've been overconfident and now i don't see a way and I'm so sad and i#just broke down its i know iy seems stupid but first this feels like something that might not happen again anytime soon if ever the way the#world is going out could be last chance and rep tour was the first time I'd been able to see Taylor to begin with and the experience was SO#amazing it's like the one thing i looked forward to this year that lifted me up in really dark times and again i feel shitty when there's so#many fans who never get to see her international too i just. I'm sorry I'm just like this breaks my heart on levels and like#i hate how money dictates everything i hate that i went to eds last tour tickets in the same venue were 30 DOLLARS and even the Taylor ones#i think were like 75 and now it's so high bc only scalping it's so fucked up and like I'm already in a really bad hole money wise bc of#an emergency issue that happened and I've got some scary medical things going on waiting on tests and having trouble with rent and food and#gas so like i can't even try to be like. you know? like justify trying to save up that much even when i got all this#i just.
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mr-entj · 11 months
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i am an intj and 18, it's my second year in uni and my major is overall promising (engineering with focus on nano, 3d and powder technologies (not going in depth with this one)). after graduating i'll be able to work in various fields, from medicine to metallurgy. anyways, the problem is that the way most my subject are being taught is unbelievably boring (not good for my adhd) plus i missed out on some of them (high math and physics mostly) due to stress and overall depressed mood (war in my country + no friends + really tough family situation abuse etc). now, even though i missed out, i know that lots of people did the same and still graduated and now have high paying jobs, and therefore i can too, but i am really anxious about not understanding some of new material due to lacunas in my knowledge. i plan to catch up on some of it during summer but i am pretty sure that till june all my determination will evaporate, and i will continue resenting my choice of major (originally wanted to choose linguistics but didn't work out). another thing is that i don't want to be doing one thing my whole life, i want to be well versed in multiple unrelated fields (from writing and acting and art to history social studies linguistics and architecture). my question is, how to find that spark/motivation again? how to combine all the things i am interested in so i learn a bit of each and when should i do that, now or later in life? i suppose if i graduate and get a good job i can go back to learning again in free time. i also want to get out of this house as soon as possible, so i need to either really put efforts into successfully graduating or start looking for part time jobs to save up money (i doubt i will be able to do both at once). one idea i had for part time is to start an etsy shop as i have original ideas and means to execute them (but there is a risk of failing which i am perhaps more afraid of than i should be).
may you please give me an advice on my situation? sorry if this ask is too messy and thank you for reading it
For starters, I'd rethink your MBTI type. I'm confident you're not an INTJ and I wouldn't use any INTJ descriptions to guide your thought process. Based on your writing style, I'd look closer at descriptions of INTPs and INFPs.
Next, there's a framework I use to break down problems and solve them. It can be applied to basically everything in life. For your situation, it looks something like this:
Step 1: Define. What are the goals you want to achieve? Do you want to move out? Do you want to graduate college? Do you want to study something that interests you? What are the end goals? What does your ideal life look like in a few years at the point where you can breathe easily?
Step 2: Prioritize. Of the goals you've defined, which are most important? Example: #1 priority is to graduate college, #2 priority is to be financially independent and move out, #3 is to study something that interests you.
Step 3: Plan. For priority #1, what are all the things you need to do to graduate college? Are there faster ways to graduate and get a great paying job? Do research on which classes to take, community college credits, etc. Attach timelines to them.
Step 4: Execute. Do it. Self-explanatory. What did you learn from carrying out your plan? What worked and didn't work? Are there any new and exciting insights you know now that you didn't know before?
Step 5: Measure. Are you happy? Did achieving your goals bring you the life you wanted? If not, go back to step 1 and restart the process. Iterate until you get it right.
Unless your family is rich, I'd argue that college isn't for learning, college is a financial commitment in exchange for skills training, credential gathering, and network building to get a job with a positive return on investment (ROI). If you want to learn-- go to a library. You can learn without college. Go on YouTube, go on Google, go on ChatGPT, etc. and learn for free.
Know your priorities and execute based on the most important ones.
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naruhearts · 5 years
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OKAY SO I've just spent the best part of an hour scrolling through your blog and reading a bunch of your destiel meta and I HAD to message you... I was one of the many people who STRONGLY believed destiel had a chance of being canon after season 8 (more like season gr8 am i right), but throughout the years I slowly lost all hope. However, S14 has made me 110% invested in the show again and YOUR META IS GIVING ME HOPE FOR DESTIEL, which is TERRIFYING. Your writing is wonderful and I'm STRESSED.
Got back from Washington late last night!
Oh my gosh @alovelikecas, your message really made my day and I’m SO glad you enjoy my meta xox (even when most of my meta looks like, to me, sloppy-ass writing, haha! I’ll probably make an end-season meta post after 14x20 — if I have the time — that touches upon SPN’s current and repeating themes since Season New Beginnings S12/Dabb Era, not to mention I have, like, some more unfinished meta in my drafts >.>)
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Yeah I mean, I didn’t join Destiel land until Summer 2016, and before that, I was late to the Season 11 party, so I basically had no narrative context for anything, and I’ll copy-paste what I said here: 
Looking back, one significant thing I recall? S11 gave me a sense of Destiel’s true narrative validity (as not a ‘fanon’ ship but organically developed in the canon) when I perceived it as a season that was ‘missing something’. Keep in mind I had no idea about Destiel yet while watching S11 at the time.
I was literally asking myself — repeatedly — why Dean/Amara seemed to contain odd narrative holes, considering A. Dean explicitly said that the non-consensual attraction he felt for Amara was NOT love and “it scares him”, B. Amara told Dean that ‘something stops you - keeps you from having it all’, C. Djinn!Amara stated that she can: ‘feel the love [Dean] feels, except it’s cloaked in shame,’ and D. Mildred’s iconic ‘You’re pining for someone’ —> which did not logically correlate with A and C, meaning: since Dean doesn’t freely love Amara and thus isn’t possibly pining for her — with female love interests as currently non-existent (I remember crossing off the dead/gone girls on a piece of paper lol) — who the hell was he pining for, then?
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Originally posted by elizabethrobertajones
Obviously, without writing long-ass paragraphs of meta about it again in this post, S11 made sense as soon as I watched it within the Destiel context (especially after I read up on some grandiose pieces of Destiel meta (@charlie-minion was the very first person who inspired me to write meta; I followed her once I joined the fandom Oh my god, here we go, holy crap this subtext – I’m invested in this godforsaken ship because they’re in love with each other and I’m not getting off any time soon. The rest is history.
I’m aware that I do come off as positive (and I’m still Destiel-positive; whatever happens in 14x20 this week may or may not change that), but I hope you don’t mind if I use your lovely ask as an additional opportunity to clarify my meta standpoint: no one’s saying Destiel WILL become text. 
The general Destiel meta community (all subfactions: Destiel-positive, -negative, -neutral, and in-between) is not the Most Holy Canon Word, and we aren’t SPN writers, and again, we can’t actually speak to the veracity of Destiel as guaranteed-gonna-go-textual, but we — a diverse pool of critical thinkers from all walks of life: particularly those who have some degree of experience in literary academia/English literature studies (fun fact: I was actually pursuing a Minor’s in English until I changed my mind - my first love’s Health Science/Biology, which I stuck with, but here I am doing lit-crit analysis on the side *wink*) — can speak to the veracity of Destiel as a real, palpable, and ever-substantial long-running romance narrative aka the love story between Dean and Cas IS THERE. I see it. We all see it. We didn’t pluck it out of the random ether one day. It naturally evolved across the show’s overarching narrative like some vast spiderweb, linked together by numerous character arc amalgamations of Dean Winchester and Castiel as separate individuals who were then brought together — who brought themselves together, by the sheer force of free will and choice — and are now inherent parts of the other’s story (and respective character progression).
I say this too many times to count: the entire point of writing meta? Personally, it enables me to appreciate the literary gorgeousness of Dean and Cas’ relationship as, first and foremost, a tentative alliance offset by the very moment Cas raised Dean from perdition (it’s a poetic beginning). Their alliance then inevitably proliferated into a rocky — at times, necessarily turbulent — friendship, then a deep profound bond…one that crossed platonic boundaries since S7/8 and is, ultimately, indelibly rooted in romance. Together, Dean and Cas build up each other’s strengths, complement each other’s flaws, and narratively motivate the other to self-introspect — to become the best version of themselves that they were always meant to be: self-actualized entities who let go of their painful, horrifying, psychologically/emotionally destitute pasts.
These above reasons and more are why I think Destiel belongs right up there on the shelf of Ye Olde Classics, similar to epics by John Milton, Shakespearian tragic dramas, Homeric characteristic cruxes, and the great Odyssey journey: a legendary journey, fraught with circumstance, that finally ended with Odysseus (now an enlightened man) returning to Penelope, the love of his life.
Channeling the scope of Homer’s Odyssey, Destiel is an incredible storytelling feat of obstacles, both internal and external, romance tropes, mirroring, foreshadowing, and visual cadence/emotion, enhancing SPN’s already character-driven main plot in that Dean and Cas try to make it back to one another; like Penelope, their love holds true despite everything. If Destiel were an M/F couple, we all know their love story would be absolutely undeniable to the GA.
I do understand the bitterness S14’s fostered in some viewers, though. I do understand that Dean and Cas seem distant (and yeah, it’s a noticeable difference compared to S12/S13), but I believe the Destiel subtext is still heavy and holds steady.
Right now, at this point, there remains multiple personal issues for the characters to solve, you know? Dean and Cas aren’t talking properly; their love languages stay mistranslated, although we’re persistently shown that they still understand each other on a certain level that no one else can, and the visual narrative keeps framing them as on-the-nose solid counterparts: a domestic-spousal romantic unit independent of Sam.
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Originally posted by incatastrophicmind
They want to be there for the other. They need to quash the final remnants of their respective internal loathing (Dean’s self-worthiness, Cas’ self-expendability) before they’re able to give the other 100% of their time, efforts, attention, and love (as flawed and complicated but compellingly beautiful as it can possibly be). During the times Dean and Cas do try to talk shit out, extraneous issues continue to get between them.
As other friends/meta pals discussed with me, S14 is like S10 in that it’s confusing the cast/audiences. And exactly: S8, besides S11/S12/early S13, also belongs in the close-to-canon serious Destiel narrative transition! I can discuss the showrunning/writer problem of SBL (Singer + Bucklemming; @occamshipper hits the nail on the head) that tugs subtext – especially subtext linked to Destiel – back and forth, sometimes in the weirdest nonsensical ways, but I won’t go too far into it here. I agree, however, with the recent idea that Jensen does seem a bit confused as to where he should bring Dean emotionally this season (don’t get me wrong, I do NOT believe Dean is OOC; OOC is a completely different concept vs expected character behaviour). And if Dean’s consistently romance-coded past interactions with Cas are any indication, Jensen would also — in the same vein as all of us — want Dean and Cas to start getting their shit together. Long-running fictional characters like Dean and Cas, conceived over 10 years, are so well-written to the point where you, the author, can predict what they’ll do even if you just plop both of them inside a room and give them no direction, and I personally feel that nowadays Jensen is prevented from achieving Dean’s further internal growth/unsure how to act in the moment because of some dumb SBL scripts saying one thing while his character’s heart says another. Wank aside—
Season 15 should hopefully convey a much more logical subtextual perspective e.g. unbelievably amazingly cohesive Season Destiel 11 that aired after choppy S10. Not all hope is lost!! I also want to clarify that I personally LOVED Season 14 in general. It’s been mostly Emotion-centric constant, with Yockey, Berens, Perez, and Dabb usually making my top-rank SPN writer list.
Currently the narrative’s still allowing pretty significant (imho) wiggle room for the lovers to fracture apart and get back together, where their miscommunication comes to a dramatic head. We just saw Dean and Cas argue over Jack’s well-being in 14x18 and 19. Dean — besides putting Cas at the top of his You’re-Dead-to-Me-Because-You-Lied-but-I-Still-Love-You-Goddammit hitlist (for clear spousal-coded reasons) and taking Cas’ actions to heart (he’s the person he trusted the most who lied to him) — no doubt blamed himself for what happened, and Sam was, like I said, the mouthpiece of truth. TFW were all culpable. They all failed Jack in some way, shape, or form.
I’m not expecting anything for 14x20, but I’m nervous either way! Thanks for sticking with my long answer
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jcmorrigan · 5 years
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So I'm guessing from your teaser of TBTC, you've seen Wakfu Season 3. Thoughts?
Terrible. Absolutely terrible. 
If you enjoyed Wakfu S3 and you don’t want to see me just TEAR INTO IT, turn away now! Because this is a RANT INCOMING!
So first and foremost, the big problem is Oropo. They overshot when trying to conceptualize the new biggest threat that could hit the World of Twelve. A guy trying to slay and replace the gods because they left him behind? Good! Solid concept! But he’s also a dark clone of the hero who was accidentally created during the climax of the last arc but we never knew it? Ummm…that’s a bit of a stretch. Also, he’s been around since the beginning of time and influencing history for millennia AAAAAND IT JUST GOT STUPID.
Really, they would’ve been fine if Oropo were just some dude who we’d never met before who was mad at the gods. That’s sympathetic. This whole Eliotrope thing (IT’S THE SAME NAME AS ELIATROPE BUT WITH ONE VOWEL SWITCHED?) is too complicated and just too unbelievable. Also, yeah, let’s not foreshadow this at all and pack all the exposition about why Eliotropes exist into a five-minute flashback.
Not to mention that his messing with history means that most of the threats we’ve dealt with up until now are his fault. We will never not live in a timeline where Nox became Nox BECAUSE OROPO ARRANGED THAT. Which cheapens Nox’s original motivation of “a formerly good man who caused his own destruction, but then, due to the combination of that and an accident, was motivated to change time to undo his mistakes.” 
Same case with Ogrest. The OVAs set up a nice background for him about being sad because Otomaï abandoned him, and that was simple enough to understand and tugged at heartstrings. The extended lore of course has the incident about Dathura leaving him, which is again an understandable motivation. And all of this is Ogrest’s own story. It’s his own agency. This is a thing that happens to people. His father abandoned him, his lover betrayed him, and he became so sad, he flooded the world because he can’t control his tears. Oh, but what’s this now? Turns out Dathura didn’t leave him. Oropo just stole her away. Meaning Ogrest’s tragedy is now just a big pile of “Oropo did it again!” and honestly, at this point, we’re just trying to tack the mythos’ biggest tragedies onto the résumé of a subpar villain to make him seem scarier. 
Not to mention this is my personal preference, but the whole subplot about Oropo pretending to love Echo when he wanted Amalia all along was really not to my taste. You had the chance to do one of two of my favorite villain tropes: 1) Oropo/Echo as partners in crime who are evil but also in true love, or 2) Oropo as Amalia’s creepy stalker for a whole season, adding the yandere dimension to his villainy and upping his threat level on a personal standard. They did NEITHER. 
Also, the fact that Oropo tried to taunt Yugo with visions of Nox and Qilby telling him off for leaving them to terrible fates is 50% wrong. Would Qilby guilt Yugo over stranding him in the White Dimension, and would Yugo feel that guilt? ABSOLUTELY YES. But Nox? Nox left the battlefield to die quietly. He realized the weight of his sins. Nox would NOT guilt Yugo. And Yugo knows he did right by Nox. Oropo doesn’t understand Nox at all, despite being the guy WHO CREATED HIM.
Now, on to some complaints with the new gods in the tower.
We didn’t see the reasons for a lot of them actually WANTING to overthrow the gods. This is supposed to be a group that felt like life left them behind and so wants to take charge of it. The Osamodas girl who wanted to take care of her animals? YES. GOOD. GREAT. THAT’S WHAT THE REST OF THEM SHOULD’VE BEEN LIKE. But we never saw the motivations for most of them. We can assume Ush was just in it for a power grab, Dark Vlad was literally brainwashed, and…why did Black Bump, Toxine, the Sacrier, and Arpagone even want in on this plan? I love action shows that have good battle sequences, but I feel like in a LOT of these cases, the battles against the various new gods usurped us actually getting to KNOW them and SYMPATHIZE with their reasoning for doing this scheme.
I was afraid from day one that they were going to make extended canon stuff that wasn’t easily accessible part of the main series and expect us to just know about it, and Dark Vlad proved me right on that front. I KNOW Dark Vlad was explained in all the comics and spinoffs. But I still don’t have a clear idea of what he is because he wasn’t explained anywhere I saw.
Why even have a Sacrier if we weren’t going to meet her at all?
Black Bump is just a horrid waste of a character. Because we needed a villain with a panty fetish. Oh, wait, no, I guess it’s not a fetish. He just collects panties for completely non-sexual reasons. …WHAT?
Arpagone had ten million years of buildup and ten seconds of payoff. What EXACTLY was the resolution between her and Ruel? (Also, why is Ruel being depicted as a bad guy for avoiding a relationship that would’ve ruined his and Arpagone’s life financially and wound both of them up homeless? I know love is more important than money, but I’ve seen stuff in the real world, and I know you have to be able to balance your standard of living with your relationships. I have a good friend who got into a relationship for love and ended up financially TRASHED and stressed out for three years.) 
Then there’s…Amalia and Yugo’s relationship. Hoo boy. So I always thought it would end up with Yugo confessing his love to Amalia and her turning him down because he doesn’t age and is therefore too young for her. But…it’s the other way around? Why is 20-year-old Amalia still interested in eternally-14-year-old Yugo? I love Amalia and I REALLY don’t like the implications surrounding this. I’m just calling it a writing fumble and going on believing that Amalia isn’t a creep. But then it comes out that the real reason Yugo doesn’t want to be in a relationship is because he still thinks Amalia is self-absorbed, which…yes, is her fatal flaw, but isn’t something he ever picked on before that exact moment. She overhears this because of course she does…AND THEY NEVER GET THE CHANCE TO DISCUSS THAT PROBLEM. Which is frustrating as all get-out. I don’t know if they’re saving it for the next season or if they just intend to drop the issue. But, like, why have a communication problem between them if they were never going to solve it? Why leave that thread dangling?
Finally, NO. REMINGTON. SMISSE. We went to all the trouble of canonizing that he survived EVERY near-death experience he suffered in S2 and beyond and then that he is able to travel dimensions without explanation in the OVAs. And…he’s just…gone now? He doesn’t show up? THE AUDIENCE LOVES HIM. HE GOT HIS OWN SPINOFF COMIC BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH PEOPLE LOVE HIM. WHY WOULDN’T YOU. The last time we saw him was with Ush, and they brought USH back and that would have been the PERFECT way to bring Rémy in. But I dunno, maybe they killed him off permanently in his spinoff comic and they just expect us to know that because they refuse to recap the extended canon’s important points in the actual show. 
Anyway, S3 basically tried to pack too much into 13 episodes and failed to flesh out any of the concepts it brought up…many of which were garbage to begin with. I’m not sure whether or not I’m on board for S4. I am MORBIDLY curious to see what Ingloriam looks like and meet the gods of the twelve races. But we will NEVER NOT LIVE IN A TIMELINE WHERE OROPO CREATED NOX. 
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