#some of the things I got requests for were things I felt unsure on bc I hadn’t done them before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sweatervest-obsessed · 9 months

Note

hello !! rn i'm in the mood for some angst with a happy ending so can i request something where reader's got really bad abandonment issues? 🥹 maybe they fight over something which makes r leave ++ spence is confused bc it's so sudden n unlike them but it's all bc theyre scared he'll leave first n then it's just lots n lots of reassurance🥹🥹 thank you!!

Obsessed.

Thank you for the ask!!

So I wrote you this gorgeous 1k fic. I was so fucking proud of it. And then my computer deleted the WHOLE THING (which is why I am so behind on responding to this lmao). But. I rewrote as much of it as possible, and then changed and added a few things. So now it's better than before.

I really enjoy this version ,and I hope you do too!! so please enjoy!!!!!

WC: 1.5k

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

TW: Anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts, self-destructive tendencies, swearing, abandonment issues lmao

“What do you mean….”

You couldn’t look at him. How could you? I mean, leaving the love of your life because you know he could never love you back in the way you love him. He’d just leave anyways.

They all do.

You’re just trying to minimize the pain.

But why did it hurt so fucking much.

Which was why you kept your gaze anywhere but him.

“I-I-I—“ You kept your gaze on the ground. “I can’t do t-this anymore Spencer.”

“Can’t do what. Y/n you aren’t making any sense. What’s going on?”

You should you head. “It’s over. Spencer.”

"Y/n what are you..."

Looking at the ground, you began to fidget, something about his gaze on you was making he whole situation worse. Originally you were going to just send him a text and disappear for the rest of your life, but he came home early. He wasn't supposed to be home for another day.

"Spencer I-I." You flexed your hands, trying to find the right words. "It's done Spence. I can't.."

"You can't what?" His voice was a whisper. You could hear the heartbreak in his voice, but you wouldn't dare look at him. If you looked at him, you would cave and stay and he would take your heart in his hands and crush it to dust.

But why did this hurt so much?

"What is going on Y/n. Talk to me."

You couldn't understand why he was being so caring. Why was he so fucking perfect. It felt like a sick joke that the universe gave you this perfect man, and then put the sinking feeling in your gut when it got too good. Like something was going to go wrong.

And you wanted to be ahead of it. Start the grieving process now before you got too deep.

It's too late for that anyways.

His voice was soft. He didn't move towards you. He didn't want to 'spook' you---he knew you so well.

You know him so well.

Clearly, whatever tactic you had tried to employ when he came home, wasn't working, so you decided to shift. You shifted to the anger resting in your gut. The hot and heavy coals that burned through your skin and made you seeth with anger.

"Y/n, please, look at me."

You couldn't. And he fucking knew that too. You stormed past him and towards the bedroom.

Spencer was speechless, completely unsure as to what was going on.

When he arrived home you had been shoving things into your suitcase, but then when you saw him you froze up and started to try and break up with him.

"Talk to me. What is going on?"

You ignored him and started to pull clothes out of their respective drawers and onto the bed you two shared. It was hectic, and aggressive. You were slamming things, stomping--anything to hide the slight tremor in your hands, and make you seem bigger than you were.

"Y/n!"

His voice made you jump but it didn't stop you. You took the pang of guilt in your stomach and tried to twist it into the anger you so desperately tried to justify.

Spencer slowly moved over to you and tried to take you hand.

"NO." You threw the small pile of clothes you had just taken from the closet on to the ground and pulled away quickly. "No Spencer god. Wh-what don't you fucking get. We're done. It's over."

Spencer rarely heard you raise your voice, let alone yell, and definitely never at him. But you weren't even looking at him.

You fucking hated it when he profiled you. It made your skin crawl when you felt his eyes roaming over you. "Look at me."

His voice wasn't hateful. It wasn't angry. It was soft, understanding.

God why did he have to make this so fucking hard.

"Y/n..."

"Spencer. Stop."

You felt the moment he realized what was happening in your brain., You weren't the easiest to read, but you weren't exactly a closed book either.

"Look at me."

You looked up and made eye contact with him, hoping that the last part of your will would hold strong, and get you through this.

Spencer's eyes were filled with worry and disbelief. You saw the swarm of emotions as he locked eyes with you. But behind all of the disbelief and concern and love and pain was fear. You could see the pain he was so desperately trying to hide from you.

You know him so well.

Spencer could see the straight fire in yours. They were lit with a facade of anger and pain and hatred. But you could never hate Spencer. Never. And he saw right through it. He could see the panic in your eyes. The pure terror and pain.

You hated that he knew you so well.

"Y/n..."

He took one step forward, not trying to corner you, but trying to get closer to you. You took one step back.

"No." You shook your head.

"Please just talk to me."

Fuck him. Fuck him and his stupid wonderful voice and his kind eyes and his love and the way he knows exactly how you take your tea in the morning and all of your favorite books and why you love the 2005 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice so much and what animals you wanted to have one day and why you hated spiders and the ocean so much and which museums and monuments you had on your bucket list. Fuck this man for loving you so hard, and making you want to spend every single moment of your life with him.

"I-I--" and fuck him for making your voice crack. You took another small step backwards.

"Please." Another step forward.

This time, all you could do was shake your head and break eye contact. You were tensing up the closer he got to you.

"Y/n."

"N-No" You chooked on your own voice. A single tear broke through and slide down your cheek.

"Baby please..." Another step. "Just talk to me. What's going on?"

That was the final straw for you.

The dam broke, and tears poured down your face. You let out the most heartbreaking sob that Spencer could have never imagined.

His arms were quickly around you, catching you and bringing you both down to the floor, where he held you against his chest.

You shook your head and tried to escape from his grasp, but he just held on tighter to you, not letting you go. Spencer could never let you go, he just didn't know how to tell you that.

Through your tears, you started to hyper ventilate. Spencer wouldn't let you leave his arms. It felt like a boa constrictor. You couldn't breathe.

You started to panic, not taking in as much air as you should, causing your head to get dizzy. You tugged on Spencer's arms as he tightened his grip on you, determined to keep you safe in his arms while you got whatever it was out of your system.

You screamed at him to let you go. He didn't respond, only holding you against his chest and you angrily slammed your hands against it.

Why was he so fucking perfect. Why couldn't he just let you leave and walk away.

Fuck.

Once your breathing had started to even out a bit, Spencer adjusted the two of you, still on the ground, so that you were straddling his lap with your arms around his neck.

Surrounding you was all of your clothes thrown about, and your suit case barely filled with anything.

He didn't say anything, just continued to rub his thumb against your hip, letting you come down from whatever sort of panic you just went through.

He held you close to his body, deciding in that moment to never let you go, ever.

You felt the world slow down. Time melted beneath you as the sun rose and set, the moon waxed and waned, The leaves browned and fell of the trees, and the earth stopped spinning at the end of time and all of the stars had died out. The world had stopped but you were still in Spencer's arms.

"I don't know..." He whispered in your ear, and the world started to turn again. "What just happened in your head--"

You tried to speak up but he just shushed you gently. "But we don't have to talk about it until you're ready."

You nodded.

What did you do in this world to deserve this man?

"Why don't we make some tea?" He whispered, and you just nodded again, holding onto Spencer as if the floor was going to give out and cause you to fall through the pits of hell and judgment, away from one another.

Neither of you went to move, finding peace in one another's arms.

While Spencer truly had no idea what just occurred, or why it occurred, he was still sitting here with you. And while you owed Spencer an apology and an explanation, he was still sitting here with his arms wrapped around you, kissing your shoulders.

Spencer Reid was going to stay with you for as long as you'd let him, and he would do anything to get you to see that, even if it meant sitting on the floor of your shared bedroom, holding you until the stars burned out and the world stopped spinning.

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jahayla-parker · 8 days

Note

do you mind doing a Kaz fic where she has had a crush a month before but is convinced it’s a lost cause bc he talks to inej a lot, but (PLOT TWIST) the reason he talks to inej is because he’s unsure if y/n likes him back? Angst with a happy ending?

-🍁

Lock and Key : Kaz Brekker x Reader

Descr: 4.5k wc, Reader and Kaz have unspoken feelings for each other. But Kaz’s attempts to work through what to do only cause misunderstandings and upsets. Until it all comes out and feelings are finally revealed. Hurt-comfort, angst-fluff.

Warnings: misunderstandings, SoC content. One curse word.

Notes: I’m SOOO sorry this took so long. It got lost in my requests!

Y/n sat on the edge of the roof kicking swinging legs back and forth. She bit into her bottom lip as she tried to keep herself calm; too many thoughts racing through her mind tonight. Needless, futile, stupid, jealous thoughts. She quickly released her lip from her teeth as she felt eyes on her. She scanned the skyline before relenting to who she’d assumed it was from the start and turned to look over her shoulder, “yes?”

Y/n watched as Inej made herself seen and slowly approached. That friendly smile of hers felt taunting in this moment. But y/n pasted one on herself before turning back to face the Ketterdam rooftops.

“Why are you out here this late?” Inej questioned softly as she carefully sat down beside y/n.

Y/n shrugged silently, not looking away from the skyline. She wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily. When Inej wanted something, she got that thing. If only she hadn’t happened to want Kaz the way y/n did. But y/n refused to tell Inej that that was what had brought her out here tonight.

“Y/n, come on, everyone can tell you’re upset,” Inej remarked as the gray clouds above them began to drip rain onto the girls.

“I’m fine,” y/n retorted simply, briefly glancing at Inej’s side-profile.

Inej stared at y/n skeptically. “No one chooses to sit on a rooftop this late, in this weather, if they’re fine,” she argued.

“It wasn’t raining until you got here,” y/n pointed out with a shrug. Fitting. Her love life didn’t feel like it was going through a downpour until Inej entered the picture either. How ironic.

“I’m not just talking about tonight, y/n/n,” Inej sighed. “You’ve been distant and… sad.”

Inej had a point. Of course she did. Y/n had spent the last several weeks trying to distance herself from the crows. Well… from Kaz. And Inej. And mostly Kaz and Inej together. Which was occurring more often than not lately. The images from the last month played back in her mind yet again as if to remind her of her misery.

Y/n twirled the shiny coin around in between her pointer and middle finger as she practically bounced her way up the stairs to Kaz’s room, a smile on her face. She’d managed to trick some rich merchant into giving it to and she thought Kaz would love it. Maybe he’d even be proud of her for such an achievement. Although, truthfully she’d simply done it because she wanted him to have it thanks to the hopeless crush she’d developed a few weeks ago. Kaz didn’t date. Kaz didn’t look at anyone that way. Y/n included. But, maybe…

Y/n hummed to herself, knocking briefly on Kaz’s wooden door before letting herself in. She paused promptly upon realizing he wasn’t alone. Inej was here. Y/n swallowed thickly as she shifted her stance a bit. “I… umm.., sorry-,” she mumbled.

Inej stepped away from Kaz with a soft shake of her head as she smiled at y/n. “Hey y/n,” she greeted sweetly. “He’s all yours, I was just leaving,” she told the girl.

Y/n’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as her heart sank over Kaz’s immediate response to Inej’s words. His hand. He was… Kaz had reached out and gripped Inej’s wrist to stop her from leaving. He didn’t do that sorta thing. That wasn’t him. Yet, here he was. Doing that. Touching her. Inej. Y/n couldn’t help but stare at the hold Kaz had on Inej’s wrist. His gloves were on… but still.. he didn’t touch people. He didn’t react like that. So instinctual that he’d physically stop someone instead of using his words commands. He really didn’t want her to leave. She tore her eyes away from their hands only to find an equally, if not more, painful sight.

Kaz and Inej stood silently, staring at each other, no words exchanged but both wore meaningful expressions.

Y/n felt a lump in her throat as she tried to swallow. This wasn’t happening. She knew the chances of her crush being anything but a crush were slim. Especially given it was on Kaz. But… The one time she held romantic feelings for someone this happened? What’re the odds her crush would get over his trouble being open with people only to fall for someone else? Her hand holding the coin trembled lightly at her side as she analyzed Kaz’s face. He was stern and serious, but instead of his ever-present stoic expression, his eyes seemed to be…. They were almost… pleading. Ouch. She couldn’t make out Inej’s expression fully from this angle. But from what she could see, Inej held a tender gaze and a small but warm smile. Y/n squeezed her eyes shut tightly as if that would somehow make the sight before her disappear. “Umm..,” she cleared her throat, feeling as though she was interrupting… something. Something she wished she wasn’t happening. But it was. “I, sorry,” she repeated as she slowly opened her eyes. They finally stopped touching and were both now facing her. “I didn’t mean to…,” y/n shook her head, unable to say the words. “Anyways, I umm…,” she mumbled.

“Y/n,” Kaz spoke, his stoic expression back in place. “Out with it,” he instructed.

Hearing his gruff voice say her name in a moment like this hurt. But not as much as him ordering her to get on with it did. He didn’t want her here. She’d interrupted his time… his moment… with Inej. Inej was who he wanted to be speaking with, who he wanted to have present in the room now. Not y/n. “Right,” y/n creaked. “I just, I thought you might want this,” she explained, walking over to his desk. The coin clanged against the table top as she placed it down.

“Where..? Where did you g-,” Kaz began to ask as y/n stepped back from the desk.

“I made a deal with a merchant,” y/n shrugged, pretending it was nothing. In truth, it wasn’t nothing. It had taken her a week and a half to arrange and wasn’t the safest plan. But now… now it truly didn’t matter. In the end, maybe it was nothing.

Kaz scrutinized the rare coin from a distance, not having moved from the spot he was in when y/n first entered. As he looked up from his desk, he found she’d made her way to the door. He felt Inej watching him knowingly, but he didn’t know what to say. Why had y/n gotten this coin? And why had she given it to him? Had she done something she was trying to cover up? Or perhaps trying to get ahead of some mistake she might make later? Or…? No.

“It’s really shiny,” Inej commented with an encouraging smile.

“You don’t owe me anything,” Kaz spoke, picking up on Inej’s not-so-subtle hint to talk to y/n.

Y/n nodded, “I know”. She swallowed and turned her gaze away from the soft way Inej was looking at Kaz. “Goodnight”. It was a weird exit, but what else was she supposed to say after that?

—-

Y/n halted in the doorway, unconsciously stumbling backwards a bit. This was getting to be too much. First it was walking in on their moment. Then it was watching Inej go to his office every single night for the past week. But now this? She hadn’t realized she’d moved backwards, away from the scene before her until she felt her back bump into someone. She silently turned around. Nina. She offered her friend and fellow crow an apologetic expression, not having known she was behind her. She watched as Nina noticed the scene that was now behind y/n, her eyes widening with surprise before quickly narrowing in confusion. She couldn’t hear this. Nina loved gossip. She loved Nina. But she couldn’t bear to talk about the potential romance between Kaz and Inej. Before Nina could react further or comment, y/n side stepped her in the narrow hallway and quickly left the safe house. She made her way to the backside of the building and rested her back against the brick wall as her butt slid to the ground. Breathe. It’s fine. She has no claim to him anyways. It was an unrequited crush. Is. Not was. As much as she’d hoped the tortuous observations of the last week would break her crush, they didn’t. They just broke her instead.

—

“Y/n? You have to talk to someone about whatever is-” Inej’s voice pleaded, bringing y/n back to the present moment. A moment where y/n had ventured out of The Crow Club in hopes the cold air would relieve some of the ache in her chest from having witnessed her crush and his crush on what seemed like a date. Except now, to add to her never ending embarrassment and heartbreak, her crush’s crush was now questioning her as to what was troubling her. Saints she really has the worst luck. It hurt even more because she and Inej used to be close. She didn’t want to lose her friend. But every time she saw Inej now, it physically hurt. Hence why she was trying to distance herself from Kaz and her both. Until her heart had time to heal and move on.

Y/n shook her head.

Inej set a soft hand on y/n’s rain-soaked shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything,” she reminded the girl.

“No I can’t!” Y/n cried. Her eyes widened in shock over her outburst and she quickly slapped her hand over her mouth, ignoring the fact that due to it being rainy tiny grains from the roof’s shingles had transferred to her hand and were now poking her face.

“What?” Inej frowned. “Why not?” When she didn’t get a response, she sighed. “Please? If I did something wrong I’d like to fix it”.

Y/n felt a few guilty tears escape her eyes. She wiped the grains off her face before she lowered her hand back to the shingles under them. “You didn’t, Inej… I’m sorry,” she whimpered quietly, “you didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Then why can’t you talk to me?” Inej asked.

Y/n sighed. “I’m just… working through something,” she explained vaguely.

Inej nodded, “I’d like to help”.

“Inej… Thank you, truly,” y/n replied. “But, it’s not fair for me to talk to you about this”. Inej hadn’t done this intentionally. It wasn’t fair for y/n to be upset with her. Or to be upset about it at all. But she was.

“So it does involve me,” Inej interpreted. “Y/n, please just tell me, I know your heart, I know you won’t mean any malice with whatever it is…”

Y/n sighed. Maybe this is what it would take. Maybe this would help her accept the way things were. Maybe it would help her finally be able to move on. To have Inej back as a friend. To not have an ache in her chest every time she looked at Kaz. Maybe even to be happy for them finding love together. Oww. That one still stung. Maybe that one would take longer. It wasn’t fair to make Inej feel guilty for this. But perhaps by telling her, maybe Inej would adjust her behaviors so that it wasn’t so in her face. Not that Inej owed her that. And y/n could never dare ask for that. But Inej was caring. Maybe she’d offer to keep her and Kaz’s affairs more secret. At least until y/n moved on.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this… and please don’t tell anyone, especially him…,” y/n pleaded. She felt bad for asking Inej to keep a secret from her… boyfriend? Is that was she and Kaz were now? She shook the question off. “But, I… kinda sorta… may have developed a little bit of a crush on…” she mumbled slowly. “Kaz, and I know how insane that it is. I knew the even before I knew about you two. But now I feel even worse about it,” she rushed out as quickly as possible. “And I’m so sorry Inej! I-”.

“Wait..,” Inej interrupted, resting her palm on y/n’s shoulder. “Why are you apologizing to me for liking Kaz?” She asked.

“Because it’s not fair to you! And I would never act on it now that I know, I swear!” Y/n vowed.

“Now that you know what?” Inej questioned, choosing just one of the many questions she now had.

“Inej,” y/n sighed as she looked her way. “I know about you and Kaz,” she informed her. “And I’m happy for you, really! It’s just that right now-”.

Inej couldn’t help but giggle. “Sorry,” she apologized. “But I couldn’t help it. Y/n, there’s nothing between me and Kaz,” she promised.

Y/n gave Inej a look of frustration. “Inej,” she scolded.

“I swear on every single Saint out there, I have no feelings for Kaz and he has none for me,” Inej spoke softly.

Y/n looked away for a moment, contemplating the last month. “I’ve seen it,” she argued. Maybe they were both too clueless to see it themselves? Was she really now going to have to point out to Inej how Kaz saw her? How he’d unknowingly chosen her over y/n? The universe was cruel.

“What are you-,” Inej began.

“You’re always in his office. He doesn’t let many people do that Inej. Then there’s the way he’s always looking over at you randomly. The way he tended to your wounds after the fight with Marcello. It first dawned on me when I saw the way he reached for your hand to stop you from leaving when I came to give him that damn coin,” y/n rambled, facing the skyline so as to not let Inej see her tears.

Inej closed her eyes as she was hit with guilt. She hadn’t considered how those things looked. Her eyes opened upon hearing y/n try to stifle a sniffle. She promptly stood up and held her hand out for y/n who gazed up at her in confusion. “Trust me, please,” Inej requested.

Kaz’s eyes snapped to the window as y/n and Inej made their way back inside. His eyes scanned y/n’s appearance but stopped upon seeing her red eyes. He turned his gaze to Inej in question as the Wraith looked his way.

Inej sensed the way y/n tensed up beside her. No, No, No. It wasn’t like that. No wonder y/n thought Kaz liked her. He was looking at her a lot lately. But it wasn’t for the reasons y/n thought! She turned to her friend and gripped her hand tightly. She wordlessly made her way to Kaz, dragging the girl with her. She gave Kaz a knowing stare, “now”.

Inej noticed the way Kaz seemed reluctant. Still. After everything she’d tried to do to convince him the past month. She narrowed her eyes and gave him a look. “Kaz, I’m dead serious. You have to tell her,” she commanded in a whispered but sharp tone.

Y/n heard Inej’s whisper and tugged on the hand that was keeping her from fleeing. “Inej?” She asked, uncertain where this was going.

Inej faced y/n with a supportive smile and shook her head. “I promise, it’ll all be made clear”. Her head snapped to the left as she narrowed her eyes at Kaz. “Won’t it Kaz?”

Kaz squinted in confusion. He looked over at y/n, trying to ignore the way her reddened eyes made his chest hurt. “What is it that is unclear?”

Y/n rapidly shook her head as she stared at Inej.

Inej sighed. Y/n didn’t want her to say anything. But it would be in y/n’s best interest if Inej ignored those wishes. “I…,” she began, but stopped. Kaz needed to do this. He needed to be the one to tell her. She worked with him for a month on this. The misunderstandings that were troubling y/n couldn’t be for nothing. “Just…. Tell her. Now,” she ordered, squeezing y/n’s shoulder before quickly leaving. She shut the door behind her and sighed as she silently prayed to her Saints for Kaz to finally tell y/n.

“Kaz?” Y/n asked nervously as she turned back to him after having watched Inej abandon her here.

“I’ve been keeping something from you,” Kaz confessed, his anxious eyes scanning her every move as he tried to read her mind. He watched as she nodded. Did she already know? No. If she did she wouldn’t be standing here. But maybe that’s why she had been crying. No. Inej wouldn’t demand he tell her if she already knew. So why was she nodding? And why had she been crying?

“Sometimes I hate you,” Kaz told her.

“You hate me?”

This wasn’t how Inej had instructed him to tell her when they rehearsed earlier tonight. But if he had to do this now and not on his own time, when he knew for certain how y/n felt, then this was how it was going to go. Not like it would matter anyways. It was likely unrequited.

“Sometimes. You’ve ruined things”.

“I… I… didn’t mean to”.

“That’s just it y/n,” he sighed, punching the bridge of his nose. “It’s not even fair for me to hate you from time to time over this because you didn’t mean to do any it. You didn’t mean to drive me insane. You didn’t mean to make me break the one vow I made to myself…”

“I don’t…”

“I told myself I’d never let someone in,” Kaz explained. “And then, you….” He groaned. “I don’t know how you did it. And I know you didn’t mean to. So, I know you don’t feel the same. But that doesn’t mean I don’t despise the fact you managed to do this”.

“Do what?”

“Make me feel this way!” Kaz rose his voice.

She squinted. “What are you talking about?” “You’re mad I managed to make you hate me?” she asked, seeking clarification.

“No! Dammit,” Kaz scoffed. “I’m mad you made me feel.”

“Feel what?”

“Everything.”

“Wh…?”

“You made me feel, y/n. In general. But also things I had buried years ago, with the intent to never feel again. You made me feel and I hate it.”

“Are you…? No… You’re not… You’re not actually suggesting you have feelings for me, are you?” Y/n asked in offense. Would he really stoop to this level?

Kaz looked away from her, opting to stare at his windowsill instead.

“If you’re trying to do this to keep your relationship with Inej a secret you don’t have to, I won’t-”.

Kaz choked on his breath. “My what?! …with who?!”

“Kaz”.

“No,” he cut her off as he shook his head and stepped closer. “Is that…” he began. Unlikely. He was probably projecting by thinking it might have something to do with why she’s been distant. Frustration took over as he found his mind to be a mess of crossed wires and chaos. He’d tried to express his feelings to best he can but was still not successful in getting her to understand. He knew she might not feel same way but still, this was annoying. “I’m not trying to con anyone,” he said, voice coming out a bit angry from his disbelief. He’d just confessed his feelings and she was questioning his sincerity and intentions? “If I was trying to hide my… feelings.. would I have just admired that vulnerability to you?” He asked rhetorically.

“But… you…”

“What?”

“The looks”.

“Excuse me?” Kaz sighed. “Full sentences would be great, y/n”.

“I’ve seen the way you are with her,” y/n defended.

“Care to elaborate?” He asked, brow raised.

“First, there was when I came in to give you the-,” she paused as her eyes caught sight of the item in question. He kept it. He hadn’t sold it. And not only did he keep it, he had it on a cushioned pad on his desk. He never kept trinkets on his desk. Focus. “That coin,” she said bringing the conversation back. “I walked in on… Well I don’t really know but, I saw the way you didn’t want her to leave. I clearly interpreted something and you didn’t want me to see it but I could tell you didn’t want her to leave”.

Kaz hummed in understanding. “You did interpret something that night.” He ran his hands over the coin in question for a moment in silence before putting it back down. “And you’re right. You don’t know what it was.” He sighed as he felt his cheeks flush. “I had asked Inej to help me with a project”. When she nodded slowly, he hesitantly continued. “That’s all”.

“It was really important,” y/n recalled, picturing the way he’d actually grabbed for Inej’s wrist.

“It was.” Kaz swallowed. “I tasked her with finding out how you’d feel if I told you…. If we had this conversation,” he corrected.

“What about when you were fixing her cuts from the fight against-”

“Marcello?” Kaz asked for her, knowing he’d only done such a thing once and still felt weird about it. “She’d refused to answer my questions until her wounds were stitched”.

“What questions?”

“Why you seemed to be becoming more distant. If she’d told you despite swearing not to.”

Y/n nodded slowly as she tried to absorb and analyze the information. He noticed? He was worried about that? So much so he attended to Inej’s cuts in order to get the answers to those questions?

“This is what Inej meant by things needing to become clear, isn’t it?” Kaz asked.

Y/n nodded.

Kaz hummed, “anything else?”

“You keep looking over at her randomly.”

Kaz chuckled dryly. So much for the silent check ins being subtle. “It’s not random”.

“Right.. no, I know.. that’s-”.

“I…. I can handle most things on my own, but making conversation, being… friendly.., isn’t my forte.” He sighed. “Inej was also tasked with correcting me if I said or did something that… well.. might have upset you or be taken wrong”.

Y/n blinked slowly at Kaz in surprise. “You-… what?”

“Anything else?” Kaz echoed as he cleared his throat.

“Tonight…”

Kaz groaned. “Ironically, Inej was trying to persuade me into having this exact conversation with you”.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did she want you to have this conversation with me?”

Kaz was silent for a moment. “She claimed she was tired of trying to collect signs that this conversation would go well and threatened that if I didn’t have this conversation soon she’d tell you herself.” He bashfully looked away from her again.

“You… you went and did all of this… because you didn’t know how I’d react?”

Kaz nodded stiffly.

“I … I’m still not sure I understand,” y/n confessed. “And I really don’t want to misinterpret this cause I’ll say something I’ll probably die of embarrassment for saying if I do”. “So…,” she shook her head in confusion. “I know feelings are… new… for you Kaz, but… You’ve both stated you hate me and that you were willing to go through all of this because you needed to know how I’d react to you telling me i made you feel things… but that’s… well, confusing!”

“Sometimes I hate you because I don’t hate you. Because I can’t. I hate that I feel… anything. Because it’s pointless. I hate that I can’t do anything about the way I feel. I hate that I feel I have to tell you this. I hate that nothing will come of this. I hate what this means for you”.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m wretched, y/n. And so is the Barrel,” Kaz said as he shook his head. “If anyone else knew this.. what I’ve been trying to tell you… you’d be in danger”.

“Are you saying that… no… I need you to say it. What is it you’re saying Kaz?”

“Even though unrequited, my feelings for you could be harmful if word got out. So while you might wish to gossip about managing to make the Bastard of the Barrel feel, I don’t advise doing so outside of the crows, or with Jesper either, he’s rather loose lipped and if it gets out to the wrong people you might be in the line of fire and-,” Kaz rambled nervously.

“Kaz stop… you… you like me?”

“Yes,” he answered gruffly. “How many times do I need to say that?”

“Once Kaz. I needed you to say it once,” she sighed. “You said you hated me.”

“Sometimes”.

“Right, sometimes hate me”.

Kaz echoed her sigh. “I don’t actually hate you. Ever. I can’t. I hate that I can’t, but it’s true.”

“So you just… like me? But.., hate that you do?” Y/n questioned. When he nodded silently, she frowned. “Am I really that bad?”

“What?!” Kaz hissed, his sharp gaze snapping over to her.

“Is liking me so horrible?”

“No,” He answered as he moved closer. “Unfortunately it’s not. That’s the problem.”

“Then why do you hate that you like me?”

“I told myself I wouldn’t feel this way. For anyone. Ever.”

“What’s so bad about feeling this way for someone?”

“I told you y/n,” Kaz complained with a sigh. “Nothing can come of it,” he reminded her.

“So… even though you like me. And I….” She took a deep breath, still in disbelief she was going to admit it to his face. “Like you,” she finished. “And all this miscommunication is cleared up, you’re saying that-,”.

“What?” Kaz croaked, eyes locked on her.

“What?”

“What did you just say?”

“The miscommunication is cleared up,” y/n repeated. That wasn’t what he was referring to.

“Before that y/n,” Kaz amended.

“That I like you. I said I like you Kaz”.

It was silent in the room for a painfully long time before he spoke again. When he did, all Kaz said was, “you do..?”

Y/n laughed. “Yes Kaz, that’s why I was upset over you and Inej being-”

“Nothing, we’re nothing,” Kaz interrupted.

“I know,” she smiled, “now”.

Kaz nodded. “You like me,” he whispered.

“I do,” she acknowledged. “And you like me”.

“I do”. He nodded. “But y/n-”.

“No”.

“No?”

“We didn’t just talk through all of this for you to just go back to pretending that we didn’t,” she declared.

“Y/n, if the Dime Lions, or Pekka, or-”.

“I don’t care”

“I do,” Kaz stated sharply.

“I know,” she replied as she moved closer to him. “And I appreciate that. But you know I can defend myself”.

“Yes, but the risks are too-”

“That’s what we do isn’t it?” She asked. Upon seeing the confusion in his eyes, she explained, “we take risks.”

“Not with your life, y/n”.

“I’ve already tried to ignore the way I feel, and it doesn’t work. That’s not living, Kaz”.

“You’d still be alive,” he argued.

“I would be either way, Kaz. It doesn’t have to be so dramatic and black and white”.

When Kaz merely sighed, she shook her head. “If you don’t want to be with me for any other reason, then-”.

“That’s not it,” he nearly growled.

“Then stop resisting. You’re refusing to let yourself live because of the chance something could go wrong. But, that’s life Kaz,” she spoke softly.

“You want this? Knowing the risks?”

“I do.” She nodded. “We can keep it secret if that would make you feel better. I don’t care.”

“It would, but what if it-”

“If it gets out, we deal with it, then. Together. Deal Brekker?”

The edges of Kaz’s lips uncontrollably curled up. “The deal is the deal,” he conceded, already plotting ways to keep this development on lockdown with top level privacy.

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runningfrom2am · 8 months

Text

cold nights // part fifteen

summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.1k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, r is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: another happy birthday post for @that-veela-girl bc i love her and thank you so so much for supporting me and reading my stuff and helping me with it too AH it just means so much to me!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

You didn't talk about a single important thing in the hour that followed. You had changed into more comfortable day clothes, something Coryo instantly thought made you look more like yourself, and somehow made your way outside onto the back porch swing.

"Did you win your prize?" You ask, staring out over the meadow behind your home as you gently rock the bench back and forth with one foot on the ground.

"I did." He smiles, unable to take his eyes off of you. You catch him staring as you turn to look at him, an excited smile on your face.

"Did you really?" You grin, excitedly reaching out and placing your hands on his thigh, hoping that it wasn't a joke.

"I did, yeah." He confirms, chuckling. "Highbottom was very against it, but the odds weighed against him." Coryo shrugs.

"Oh, Coryo, that's wonderful. Congratulations." You pat his leg before removing your hands, retreating them to your own lap.

"I owe it all to you."

"Why is that, anyway?" You ask, eyes once again focussed on the wind forcing the grass this way and that. "I knew you needed people to like me, but you never told me why."

He lets out a breath while he delays his response. "Well... The task they gave us was to turn the tributes into something people could get attached to- something people wanted to watch." He explains. "You made it easy. I just needed to get people to see you for who you were. To see that you were worth watching. That you were special." He shrugs, looking down at his lap and picking at his nails. "It helped that Sejanus's family paid out the prize, I think." He chuckles.

"Ah." You nod, not wanting to think about it anymore but still glad you got answers. "Is he upset with me?"

"Sejanus?" Coryo asks and you hum. "No, not one bit." He promises.

"I-I mean..." You stammer, taking a deep breath. "About Marcus?"

"No." Coryo repeats, shaking his head. "He left before the games started, he didn't see what happened. I explained it to him before we even left the arena, though. He felt bad for even thinking for a moment you had done something wrong."

"You're sure?" You ask quietly, eyes brimming red as you look over at him. He nods. He wants to reach out and touch you, hold your hand, but he's unsure if that's even okay. Even after what happened the night before the games, now you were treating him very much as a friend. He didn't want to overwhelm you, so he would leave those questions for another day.

"Positive."

"You don't speak of your Dean favourably." You comment, wanting to change the subject. "Why? He was very good to me."

"You met him?"

"He saw me off at the train station." You nod. "Gave me some cash, promised me that compact would make it back to you."

"Oh..." He mumbles. "He just has some vendetta against me. I don't know why."

"I see." You nod. "That makes sense... He told me that I was lucky I survived you. It was odd."

Coryo chews the inside of his cheek, and it was his turn to look out over the scenery while you watched him. "He's always hated me. I've done nothing to him."

"I did not think you would." You defend quickly, the air becoming thick around you. You answered too promptly- he would know that you were afraid. Maybe think you were lying. Even as he sat next to you, smiling more than you had ever seen him do it before, you couldn't look at him the same.

Coryo can sense that you still don't want to talk about the games in any major capacity, and it was in his best interest to not bring up Bobbin, so he changes the subject. "Your cat is adorable, by the way." He can tell that makes you comfortable enough to relax again. He missed you looking at him.

"Isn't he?" You smile, shifting your gaze from him to the back door, hoping to catch a glimpse of your pet in the small window. "He's a sweetheart."

"I'm just glad he didn't attack me." Coryo jokes.

"What?" You laugh. "Why would he?"

"I don't know! I've never had a pet. They scare me a little."

"Oh, Coriolanus Snow is afraid of a cat?" You tease him. "I didn't know that about you."

"Y/N! Lucy Gray is here!" Your mother calls from inside the house and you're quickly distracted, clumsily standing up from the bench, leaving it swinging unsteadily underneath him.

"Coming!" You call out, grabbing his hand to pull him up with you. "You must meet her, she's my best friend. If you think I'm good company you'll see she's all the better."

"I've met her." He replies, allowing you to pull him up from the bench anyway.

"You have?" You ask, brow furrowed.

"Yeah, she helped Sejanus and I find you."

"Sejanus is here?" You smile wide and he nods, a little confused.

"Yeah, he came with-" He doesn't even finish his sentence before you're moving quickly into the house and to the living room where your mother had let them in, leaving the door swinging open behind you.

"Sejanus!" You call out as you see him, almost tackling him in a hug- armed with the confidence in Coryo's honesty that he didn't hate you.

He laughs, catching you in his arms. "Y/N, it's so good to see you..."

Coryo chews on the inside of his cheek as he follows you in. He wasn't met with a hug, or near the same amount of excitement. Maybe he underestimated how close you and Sejanus had become while he was stuck in the hospital ward after the bombing.

He can see the three, evenly distributed scars on the back of your leg. Healing, but still bruised all this time later. He wonders if it still hurts.

"How I have missed you- how are you doing?" You grin, pulling away from the hug and running your hands up and down Sejanus's arms.

"I'm pretty good! I've always wanted to see Twelve, so now I finally had a good excuse." He jokes, looking down at you. "How are you, though? That's much more important."

Coryo takes a moment to notice Lucy Gray staring at him. "I take it your hello didn't look like that?" She whispers, forcing him to relax his facial expression to hide any disdain.

"It did." He lies.

"Oh! My mistake then." She replies, clearly not buying it.

He thought you were treating him like a friend, but if this is how you treated friends, he obviously did not meet the mark.

"We found you guys a place to stay." Lucy Gray continues, watching you and Sejanus chat.

"Thank you." Coryo nods at her, but he's still watching you, eyes taking up and down your body, your hair, your skin- but always finding a home on your injured calf.

"Yeah, of course." She hums, arms crossed over her chest. "She'll come around, you know."

You turn, finally ready to greet Lucy Gray. "I'm sorry, I didn't even say hello to you." You giggle, giving her a gentle, less urgent hug.

"That's quite alright, Y/N/N. You see me every day." She laughs, gently rubbing your back.

"And it still doesn't feel like enough." You respond.

"I agree." She hums, pulling away and holding onto your shoulders as you smile at her. Lucy Gray is the only one who knows what you're going through, the only one besides Lennox who knows what your nightmares are like, to have you cry with your head in her lap in her backyard or even at the lake where you used to share the best days of your lives. You felt like you ruined it all, but you felt seen with her. Always.

"Lucy Gray found us a place to stay for the month." Sejanus tells his friend.

"I heard." He mumbles, fighting back the green monster bellowing behind his eyes.

"Yes! Right, I'll get you guys there and settled. I'm sure Y/N is just dying for her afternoon nap." Lucy Gray says, gently squeezing your shoulders. You nod. Even though your visit with Coryo was pleasant, it still placed a weight just behind your ribs you couldn't describe. You needed a break, and your best friend could see it.

"Yes, well, can't get enough of my bed these days..." You joke, but it doesn't come out as lighthearted as you intended, all context considered. You clear your throat. "We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep."

"Certainly." Lucy Gray smiles, pulling you into a quick side hug.

Coryo watches, avoiding reacting to what he saw happening in front of him. With your mother, and now with Lucy Gray. No one here, apparently, just hums in confusion or looks at you funny when you say something that hardly makes sense. They know you. They understand every word; or at least they pretend they do. They answer accordingly, like it was just a normal bit of conversation. There was no one else quite like you, and he was lucky to get to hear it. He knew that, but they knew it first. By the time the games had started, by the time you won and left, Coriolanus had started picking up the habit as well. You weren't entertainment, leaving something to question after every conversation, it was you. All you. And he loved you for it.

"How long will you be here?" You ask, returning your attention to him now. Finally.

"A month." Coryo answers promptly, smiling at you. At first, he thought a month was a long time until the next train left, but now, it didn't feel like nearly enough.

"Wonderful!" You smile, clapping excitedly. "So I will most definitely see you again."

"It's you I'm here to see." He grins, a pink flush spreading on his cheeks.

It matches yours almost perfectly. "Good." You nod. "I'm glad." You almost choke over the words and hope he doesn't notice.

"That reminds me! Lucy Gray's show tonight, are you going?" Sejanus asks you and you glance nervously over at her. It seems to Coryo that his friend was too eager to engulf himself in local culture, when they were supposed to be there to see you.

"Oh, you guys are certainly welcome but..." She looks back at you as she speaks, silently communicating with you on the best way to say this. You just nod. You trust her to speak for you. "Y/N typically doesn't come. It's nothin' new to her, any of my music she wants to hear I can sing for her anytime." She smiles.

"Coryo?" Sejanus asks him now, and he looks at you the same way you looked at Lucy Gray.

You sense his hesitation. Clearly, he will only go if you do. "You know what? I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. I'll come."

Lucy Gray looks surprised, but very pleased. "You will?"

"Sure, why not." She knows why not, but she won't dig any deeper into it in front of the boys.

"Alrighty then! We better get going, I've left rehearsals for long enough. The Covey is probably out searchin' by now." Lucy Gray says, waving the boys to pass her to get to the door.

"Are you sure?" She whispers to you once they cannot hear. "Don't feel pressured."

"I want to spend time with them." You whisper back. "I'll be fine."

She nods, a look of worry in her eyes as she hugs you again.

"Coryo?" You call as you pull away, walking past her to get to the front entrance of your small home.

His head whips up at your voice calling his name, looking at you expectantly. "Will you..." You start, and Coryo watches closely as you begin wringing your hands together in front of yourself.

Yes. Whatever you need, yes.

"If it's not too much trouble, can you come get me before you go? I don't like to walk at night..."

"Of course." He answers without hesitation. "I'll be back later, then."

"Thank you." You smile, cheeks red from the embarrassing question. "I'll see you guys tonight."

You had your so desired afternoon nap after that. Your mom came and laid in bed with you, gushing over how Coriolanus was such a good guest. A kind soul, she said. She could see it in his eyes, apparently, and hear it in the way he spoke about you. You wanted to believe her, but you really weren't sure.

You couldn't help but see him differently after he killed Bobbin. It wasn't necessarily that he killed him, it was the overkill that really haunted you. That last swing after the threat was so clearly subdued. He didn't look like himself anymore. It kept you up at night- and when it didn't, it was a frequent event in your nightmares.

You woke with a jolt from your nap, picturing your mentor standing over you with his blond curls falling over his eyes. You had a hand out to try protect yourself as you slid back across the cold, cemented ground of the arena. This was a common nightmare you had since you returned.

So when you got home from work only to see him standing in your living room, with your mother who knew nothing but the good things about him, you could have cried. Screamed. You thought for a moment that maybe you were sleeping and the dreams had adapted into something worse, but no. He was there. And he was kind, and so happy to see you that the boy you spent most nights remembering seemed incredibly unlikely to exist. When you looked into his eyes, as he silently begged you not to run, he was just Coryo.

Quick footsteps in the hallway turn your attention to the door. "You alright?" Your brother asks, hand braced on the frame to stop himself as if he had been moving too quickly to do it on his own.

"I'm fine." You nod, taking a deep breath and swallowing back your fear again.

Worried, Lennox looks back down the hall before coming into your room, closing the door behind himself. You move over in your shared bed, giving him his spot back as he slides in next to you.

"Nightmare?" He asks quietly, laying on his side to face you.

You just nod.

"Was it... about him?"

You want to lie. Tell him that no, it was just the games in general, but you knew he wouldn't buy it. Not after answering the door to see the boy whose name you mumbled in your sleep, begging for mercy standing in front of him.

That was the reason you had to tell your brother in the first place.

"No, I- Coryo, please..." Your brother hears you shifting under the blanket next to him, watching as Tybalt's ears perk up from your feet. "Please... Don't!"

"Y/N?" He mumbles, rolling over. "You okay?"

Then he realizes as he sees your eyes scrunched shut that you're still asleep. Nightmares he had dealt with for almost a week now, but tonight was the first night your mother didn't insist on sleeping in the room with you, leaving him on the floor while she took his spot. He had a suspicion that your dad was doing the same, just outside the door. But this was the first time you spoke.

"Y/N." He sits up, grabbing your shoulder to try and shake you awake. "Wake up. It's just a nightmare."

You sit up so fast it makes him jump back, the scream that fell from your lips made his heart race even faster. "Y/N?" He asks, quickly crawling back into the bed and trying to touch you, help you, but you're pushing yourself back against the wall, grasping at the sheets as you looked around. It takes you a moment to realize where you are- home. Safe.

Your brother turns his head as your parents come rushing in to comfort you. He doesn't say anything about you talking until you finally settle them enough with your calming smile, assuring them that you're fine and they should go back to bed. That they needed their sleep, while your own cheeks were still red and stained with tears.

He doesn't say a word until he's sure he's heard them go back to bed, staring at you as you lay back down under your quilt and your chest is still rising and falling so fast he's wondering how you're even getting any oxygen to your blood.

"You were talking to him." Lennox whispers, and you just turn your head to look at him.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, voice still hoarse from the scream.

"What did he do to you?" By now, Coriolanus Snow or "Coryo", was a common name in your household. You only spoke of him favourably this last week you'd been home and even before that. That he helped you, saved you.

"Nothing, bud. It was just a dream." Now you're hushing him, reaching over and pulling the blanket up over his shoulder.

You can tell your brother doesn't believe you, but he doesn't know how to ask. What to ask, how to go about it without setting you off or hearing an answer that makes his blood boil so intensely that he jumps on the next Capitol bound freight train to do something you would never forgive him for.

"He didn't hurt me. I promise." You whisper again, sensing his fear. "I just..." You cut yourself off with a sigh. "Can you keep a secret?"

"You know I can." He promises.

You nod, small smile falling on your lips that's illuminated only by the moonlight streaming through the window. "Do you remember that boy from District Eight? Bobbin?" You whisper and he nods, hanging on every word.

"I watched Coriolanus kill him." You continue, assessing his reaction; confusion and shock settling in all at once. "And it was... Scary. He was already dead, but he hit him again and the look in his eyes I-..." You slightly shake your head. "It wasn't him. That was the last time I saw him. Coryo, I mean."

"How'd he get in?" Your brother whispers. "What was he doing?" It's all he could think to ask. Maybe he had gone to try and save you- to break you out. If you had told him that an hour ago, he would have believed it based on how you spoke about him.

"Sejanus, my other friend, snuck in. He brought bread to scatter over his tribute, and Coryo had to get him out safe." You explain. "He did, but not until after..." You sniff, wiping your eyes with the sheet.

"It's like you didn't know him." Your brother says, fully understanding.

"Yeah." You reply quietly. Lennox had always understood you. "I don't know if he was ever really my friend. If he's not the person I thought he was."

"I'm sorry." Your brother settles on.

"Nature teaches beasts to know their friends."

"You are not a beast." He whispers, brow furrowed.

You smile sadly at him. "You should get back to sleep."

"Yeah." You whisper, looking away and out the window at the sun beginning to set. Coryo would be here soon, and suddenly you were regretting agreeing to go out at all. "It was about him."

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thoughtsforsoob · 2 months

Note

my birthday is coming up! can i please request smut with seonghwa and mingi (bcs its his birthday too! we share the same birthday 🥳)

- 🐰

a/n: happy birthday 🐰 anon !! I hope you have a good one and I hope this piece compensates as a good birthday gift 🩷 I hope your birthday was not too bad (that asshole you told me about sucks. don’t let him ruin your day! stink men don’t deserve the time of day) please enjoy!!

Mingi and seonghwa were never the first people you would think of when you try to think of members with similar interest. They both just kind of went on their own path. For example, Seonghwa loved his LEGO’s and Mingi loved playing video games/watching anime. One thing they could agree on though, was how much they adored you.

You were just a friend to them. You happened to work for them as a staff member for this world tour they were on. You were in charge of getting them from place to place, keeping them in line and helping during shows. They enjoyed your presence so much. The two men were particularly fond of you and would always fight over you. You found their bickering endearing but never took it deeply. Of course you thought they were just joking. Idols never go for staff but this case was very different.

Since the tour had started and you began working with them, they’d been plotting a way to get you into bed with them. Now that the final show was approaching and you’d go back to work with other groups, they needed to put their plan into action. It all started after the last show. The whole staff and the members got together for a nice dinner at a privately reserved restaurant. Of course, the two members took up all your attention the whole time and were practically tripping over their own feet to make you laugh. You just went along with it and gave them the attention they wanted. Besides, you’d grown to enjoy their company. You’d miss them a lot once you were gone. All came to an end after about three hours of talking and eating and drinking. You escorted the boys back to their room that they happened to be sharing together. Before leaving from their front door, they offered to bring you inside to drink some more and hang out. You hesitated because you could get in big trouble but how could you deny them? They’d been so sweet and kind to you that you felt awful saying no.

You went in and had a drink with them. Everything was all fun and giggles when you noticed that they both had their big, dreamy hands on your thighs. You tried not to make a big deal out of it but it was starting to make you feel stuff you didn’t think you should feel about them. At some point, the conversation died down and mingi was the first one to speak up about the situation. “So, y/n. Thank you for keeping us together for this tour. It’s means a lot. There’s just something we’ve been meaning to tell you about.” Seonghwa immediately chimes in, “yeah. This may come as a shock but we’re both really into you. We’ve been fighting over you this whole time but we decided not to fight anymore because we could just give you both our attention.” You’re sitting there…unsure of what to say to them. Mingi started to talk again, “so…before you leave us for good, we wanted to ask you something. Would you be interested in sleeping with us?” You immediately started to blush bright red. “S-sleep with you two? I’d love you but won’t I get in trouble? I don’t wanna get in trouble. I like this job.” You frowned and the boys immediately made you smile again. “Of course not! We’d never get you in trouble. We’re asking you for this. Please? Sleep with us? We promise we’ll show you pleasure you’ve never experienced before.” Seonghwa looked at you with his big, beautiful eyes and you just could deny him. You nodded and they looked so excited.

They started by having you strip out of your clothes and they did the same. They offered to let you shower and the three of you stepped into the very spacious shower. While cleaning up, a lot of deep, passionate kissing ensued. Mingis kisses were slopping and desperate and seonghwas kisses were gentle yet meaningful. Both kisses being very fulfilling and enjoyable. You three were finally clean and were able to get out and dry off. They didn’t even let you put on clothes because they wanted to get right to work. Mingi picked you up and set you on their big bed. They picked the biggest option they could in anticipation for this day (calking for the win). Seonghwa practically pushed mingi out of the way for the space between your legs. He pulled your legs over his broad shoulders and looked up at you. “Is this okay? Can I eat you out? You just look so delectable.” You nodded and he dove right in. Out of jealously, mingi got on the bed and started to kiss you and play with your nipples. These combined sensations made you beak out in moans. They enjoyed listening to your noises. After he was fed up, mingi made seonghwa trade with him to be fair. Mingi eat you out the same we he kissed you, messy and desperate. Saliva and slick were all over his face, making you even more wet at the sight. He didn’t even let you cum, wanting you on his cock before you were allowed to cum.

You started to get restless and that’s when you really began to take some charge. You turned around towards seonghwa, wanting him to go first. “Please? I need you inside. You can be first. Please?” You gave him your best big shiny eyes and he folded, not needing you to beg at all. Mingi moved so that seonghwa could have his way. He ask mingi to grab him a condom and he did. Seonghwa ripped it open with his teeth and slid it on. You whimped while watching him and he smirked, “you liked that, pretty girl? Don’t worry. Im going to take such good care of you right now. If something hurts, you’re gonna tell me. Okay?” You nodded up at him. You three went through picking a safe word and everything was squared away.

Seonghwa started but slowly pushing into your wet entrance. He started to hiss and you were whimpering. “Fuck! You feel so damn good! So good for me. Right?” You nodded and look at him, feeling the pain subside. “Mm please this feels so good. Thank you! Thank you!” Out of instinct you reach up to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders. He found the action endearing and let you hold onto him. Mingi watched the whole time, fucking his fist and moaning. You turned to look at him and smiled, enjoying watching how he touched himself. Seonghwa took his time with you and when you both were getting close, he warned you. “Fuck, I’m going to cum. Please? You’re gonna cum with me, pretty girl?” You nod, “mhm please let me cum! I’ve been so good!” He pulls you close and you do the same, finally cumming together. When you both finished, you laid down and panted but mingi didn’t give you much of a chance e to recover. You cried out when he jumped on top of you pushed himself inside you. The size difference was very noticeable to you and it made you feel the pain again. “Fuck! I can’t!” You cried and mingi just smirked, loving how you were complaining about his size. He gently caressed your cheek and tried his best to make you feel comfortable. “Does it hurt too much? Poor thing.” You look up at him with tears in your eyes and shake your head, “no please! Keep going. I want it.” You begged him and he continued. He fucked you at a quick pace, leaving your tummy with an ache afterwards. He just went in so deep and so fast. He finished a little quicker than seonghwa, moaning loudly when he finally came, making sure to let you cum also.

When all was said and done, they both laid there with you, taking care of you. Their aftercare combined was the best. They made sure you drank plenty of water and got some snacks in you. You also cleaned you up super gently. They don’t just want to fuck you and have it over with. They never did. They knew you deserved way better than that. “So, you aren’t just going to leave us, are you?” Seonghwa asked with a cute little pout. You shake your head and held onto him. “Nope. Not right now at least. I probably can’t walk always so I’m here for now.” They both laughed along with you and mingi scooted closer to you to snuggle you also. You enjoyed their affection. They were so sweet to you and made sure you were comfortable before falling asleep. You were going to miss them and they were going to miss you also. Hopefully you wouldn’t have to miss them too much because they planned to beg their management to recruit you into their company.

#ateez reactions #ateez seonghwa #ateez mingi #mingi smut #seonghwa smut #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez

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wheresmymilliondollarman · 1 year

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Hiii! I've discovered your account recently and you can definitely count me as one of your fans! Also I've never saw someone write for book bfs before so that's cool of you to do it ! I really don't know if you take requests but if u don't it's ok! but if you do can I have an Kenjix reader where she's a trained spy with no powers and Aaron send her on a mission with Kenji where she hates him at first but then she gets to know him and fall for him ? (Maybe w/o spoilers for books after ignite me)

how you get the girl

kenji kishimoto x fem!reader

you were never fond of the newest recruit, but after being assigned on a mission with him, your perspective might just change.

a/n: ty for the request!! been wanting to write for kenji, but struggled with a concept, so this is a great idea !! this is more an au thing, not based on a certain timeline in the series, so it should be spoiler free !! there also a hunger games reference in this bc i can't help myself. extra note: thank you for being so patient i had to go on n unexpected hiatus because i got sick then a bunch of stuff in my life is happening right now, so it was hard to write. but i have finally have time again somewhat and i want to get inspo to write <3

word count: 6.8k

warnings: really bad corny pick-up lines, kinda bad description of action LOL, mentions of injuries and blood, take a shot every time reader rolls her eyes

your home lied within the reestablishment for as long as you could remember. your father had stood behind the idea since it first became conceived.

before the reestablishment came along, your family lived in the trenches of poverty. living in a one-bedroom apartment in the unsafest part of the city. most lived the same since the world was slowly deteriorating — counties went hungry, climate change affected natural resources, and the grasp of government control slipped away. it seemed like the end of the world for some, but you were too young to say for sure.

your mother came down with an illness when you were around three. it was unsure of what it was, but it damaged her greatly and fatally. your father attempted to gather the money to see a doctor, pawning items, stealing money, and even asking the government for assistance, but it all became futile. your mother ended up passing a few months later.

your father’s grief and rage at society drove him toward the direction of the reestablishment. they had already been around quite some time, but no one ever took it seriously - another political group with empty promises, they called it. but your father had faith in their potential, he had to, now that he wanted to ensure a better future for yourself. so, he offered his undying loyalty to the group, and they took an interest in that and offered him a low level job.

within years, he worked his way up in power, helped enhance the reestablishment’s control over the world, and soon they were the sole government. many resisted, but the majority resided their fate to them because how much worse could the world get?

overtime, the distant memories of the old world faded and were forgotten by many, including yourself. all you knew and lived was reestablishment life. books, movies, devices, or anything pertaining to before reestablishment life was discarded. you were too young to even remember most of those things. so, unlike others, you never felt like you missed out on anything.

you were trained to be a soldier since practically diapers. the rebellion against the reestablishment was prominent during its early years, so your father ensured you could defend yourself properly if the worse were to come. with your agility and stealth, you were recruited to be a spy for them, infiltrating other bases and spying on the rebellion.

your father now works closely with supreme commander anderson at the capital, but you’ve designated yourself to sector 45, along with warner. he recognized your talent the moment he met you and employed you to his sector. that was how it became your current home.

your father was more than thrilled you impressed the commander’s son, telling you it was important to have their favor. ever since, he’d push the idea of you two, repeating that if you played your cards right, you could become the future supreme commander’s wife.

you felt nauseous at the idea. you would never want to be a second in command helping run a country, much less marry the person who does.

“hey! warner’s calling you into his office.” a voice called out to you.

you snapped out of your daydream, remembering your current location. you stood in the training room, gloves on, practicing your punches onto one of the many punching bags. you tended to zone as as you got more into your workout.

you turned around to face the soldier who had come in for the purpose of recalling a message, “thank you, tell him i will be there immediately.” he gave a curt nod and headed out.

you sighed, you were sure you were about to be sent on another mission to gather data. and normally, you would’ve been up for it, dying to put your skills to use. but lately, it seems the passion has disappeared. it was getting too repetitive for your liking, and you feared the rest of your life would play out the same.

you gathered your belongings, stuffing your water bottle and gloves back into your gym bag, and replaced your sweaty black shirt with a plain gray one.

you procrastinated as much as possible on the way to warner’s office. you are in no rush to head back out into the field or hear warners endless instructions on the mission. for once, you envied the low ranked soldiers. warner never expected much of them, so they were often overlooked and free to do as (possibly) pleased. you were expected to be no less than perfect.

you took a deep breath before knocking on the office door. once warner granted permission, you entered the room, and the first thing you noticed was another person was already there — one you recognized to be one of warner's many men, kenji kishimoto.

‘this is already off to a bad start,’ you told yourself. kenji was fairly new to the unit, joining a bit over a year ago. you never saw him much because of how busy you are, but due to his poor performance, warner had assigned you to train him for a week.

it hadn’t been your first time training a soldier, so you were prepared to follow a routine and help him get the hang of basics. but you quickly learned kenji was going to be a pain in your ass.

first, he was half an hour late to your training, wasting time you could’ve used for your own personal agenda. then, when he showed up, he acted nonchalantly about it. you decided to brush it off and just get the training over with than argue and waste more time. but as training commenced, he started acting condescending towards you. asking if you were sure what you were doing and whether you were the most qualified person to be instructing him. again, you ignored him and remained professional — trying your best to just finish off the lesson without any hassle.

the final straw for you came when you asked him to throw a punch to examine his form and offer critiques. to this responded, “are you sure about that? wouldn’t want to hurt you, sweetheart.” he said haughtily. you just about had it by then.

in a quick movement, you threw a punch to his face, twisted his arm, and flipped him onto the mats. “sorry, did i hurt you sweetheart?” you asked in a condescendingly sweet tone. all kenji does is groan in response.

after, you just stormed off and informed warner he would no longer be in charge of his training. you offered him no explanation and simply walked out of his office. if you hadn’t been so upset, you would’ve slapped yourself for being so careless in front of the commander's son. but fortunate to you, warner had no objections and simply tasked someone else to teach kenji.

however, that wasn’t even the end of your meeting. despite you bruising his face, kenji started to follow you like a puppy. you suddenly would run into him at least once a day. you swore he had to be somehow following you, and pretending it was a coincidence the two of you ran into each other. despite your expertise in the art of spying, you were never able to catch him in the act. you could sometimes feel a pair of eyes on you, but when you turned around, there was no one there.

you told him many times to leave you alone, but that only seemed to intrigue him more. he went from condescending to flirting with you. you weren’t sure which one was worse. you were starting to think the latter because of his awful pickup lines.

“do you have a name, or can i just call you mine?”

“oh god, i’m gonna throw up.”

“i’m going for a walk, would you mind holding my hand?”

“if you get your hand near me, it’s getting cut off.”

“i love it when you talk dirty to me.”

“do you travel through time? because i’ve pictured you in my future.”

“you’re not going to have a future, if you utter another word.”

“let me be the flynn rider to your rapunzel.”

“one, shut up. two, who are they?”

“what! you don’t know the amazing film that is tangled?”

“never mind, forget, i asked..”

no matter your reply, he never seems to get the hint. no, scratch that, he definitely got the hint he just simply did not care. this guy could be hit with a tank, and you were convinced he’d still have some stupid line to say to you.

back to your current predicament, you were unsure why warner would call for kenji as well. you were hoping they were just finishing up a conversation, and you happened to be a bit early. which you kinda doubted because you had taken as long as you possibly could to get to this room.

you walked up to warner’s desk, “you called for me sir?” you questioned. the sooner you got your task, the sooner you can get away from the man next to you.

kenji turns his attention toward you, unfortunately for you, “hey gorgeous, funny seeing you around here.” he says with a stupid smirk accompanying.

“not really.” you spoke bluntly.

before he can speak any more, dumb words, warner clears his throat indicating he is about to speak. “yes i did, and as you can see, i also called kishimoto here because I wanted to speak to the both of you.”

oh no. you weren’t liking where this was going so far, especially since this is an issue needing both of your presence in the room. you prayed he wasn’t about to assign you to train with kenji again. you lucked out last time, but there is no way you would be able to again decline in a way that wouldn’t defy warner. you remained stoic and nod to his words, waiting in suspense for his instructions.

“oh please go on, i’m intrigued.” kenji inquires. warner pays no mind him, nice to see you’re not the only one who does that.

“the reason for that is, i am in need of both of you for a mission in favor of the reestablishment.” he explains, folding his hands together neatly on his wooden desk.

technically, your prayer was granted; you didn’t need to train kenji. no, instead you had to go & work with him on a mission. ‘that’s why they say be careful what you wish for.’

you couldn’t protest and say absolutely not, or you just look like a child throwing a tantrum. it took a good portion of your self-control to keep that apathetic look on your face. but even then, your left eye reflexively twitched in irritation.

“no disrespect to your order sir, but why is kishimoto needed? i can handle myself quite well if you didn’t already know.” you try to reason.

“are you that nervous to be with me?” kenji interrupts smugly. you can’t help but stomp on his foot, even if it is a bit childish, your face neutral, not even sparring a look his way.

kenji yelps in pain, but still remarks, “nice to see your love language has switched from verbal threats to physical violence.”

warner, unbothered by your actions, replies, “i’m well aware of your capabilities l/n. but this task is a bit more dire than your usual requests. i’d prefer if you had a helping hand. plus, kishimoto still needs practice in the field and there’s no better example to follow than you.”

“thank you sir, for the compliment, but-“

“is that an objection to an order, l/n?” warner challenged you, raising a brow. you knew that was the end of it. as much as you didn’t like kenji, it wasn’t an issue worth being on warner’s bad side for.

“no,” you stated defensively, “of course not, sir, i am ready to serve the reestablishment as needed,” you restate your loyalty, but these days it felt like empty words.

“i, for one, have no issue with this request sir. i’m more than willingly to go along with y/n on this secret mission.” kenji proclaims with a gleeful smile.

“great, because the both of you will be departing tomorrow morning.” warner informed, leaning back into his seat. “that will be all,” he dismissed with a wave of a hand.

kenji and you both respectively nodded and turned your backs to walk away and exit his office. once you’re in the hall, your cool demeanor vanquishes and is replaced with a distasteful look. you simply couldn’t believe this was happening. you got partnered with the guy who you heard already had 19 demerits. surely, the world was punishing you.

opposite to you, kenji stood there with a sneaky smile, obviously enjoying how today’s events played out. it only annoyed you further.

“well, well, well,” he begins, “i guess we’ll be spending quite a bit of time with each other. you never know how long these missions take perhaps will be stuck teach with each other for a whole month. wouldn’t that just be exciting?” kenji teases, draping an arm over your tense shoulders.

you rolled your eyes and roughly pushed his arm off of you, “this operation is solely for professional purposes, kishimoto. we’ll be in and out then come back and relay information. then i go back to ignoring you.” you don’t bother to wait for a reply and start the walk to your living, quarters to prepare for your departure.

“i’ll grow on you eventually y/n!” he hollers at you as you venture further down the hall.

you dreaded the events to come the moment you opened your eyes to woke up.

a part of you had hoped your talk with warner yesterday had been a nightmare, but as soon as you saw your packed bag on your dresser, you knew it was your reality.

you hopped in the shower for a quick wash, braided your hair, and suited up in all black attire. you slip your bag over your shoulder and reluctantly walk out your room. from there, you made your way to the weaponry.

at the weaponry, you didn’t see kenji’s face; you had hope there was still a possibility he would not end up going along with you, and he would either be replaced, or you be left to your own devices. you started supplying weapons into your bags and filling the holsters strapped on your body.

“can’t believe you already started without me, angel.” you hear a voice announce from behind you.

you groaned, apparently, it was too much to ask to wish him away. he reminded you of a small insect that just refused to die no matter how many times you stepped on it with your foot.

he doesn’t miss a beat, moving to the spot next to you, “don’t sound too excited, or else i’d start to think you like me,” kenji playfully remarks.

you scoff, “only in your wildest dreams.”

“right you are.” you grimace at his reply.

“can you just hurry up? the sooner we set off the better.” you urge him.

he doesn’t deter from his smugness at your fierce attitude, “if you were so eager to be alone with me, you should’ve just told me, would’ve saved us a lot of trouble.”

you groaned, already sick of being around him. how were you supposed to do this for a day, or even more? “you have five minutes or swear to god i’m leaving without you.” you promised on your way out.

you made good of your word, and waited by the plane for approximately five minutes (you even counted down the seconds in your head). warner assigned a plane for the both of you, with its own pilot, to take you to your destination.

you wait until the last second before you board the small plane to inform the pilot to prepare for take off. not even a minute later, you hear the movement of footsteps rushing towards the vehicle. you try to conceal your look of disappointment when you see it, kenji coming toward you.

you step down the plane to coldly greet him, “you’re lucky you made it, i was prepared to about to leave without you,” you tell kenji seriously. “i suppose i can always just push you off the plane one we take off to rid of you,” you nonchalantly suggest.

he just laughs in response, thinking there’s no way you would actually take off without him, his laughter silences down when you offer no humor in your tone, nor your face. “you are just kidding right?”

you remain silent, and turn your back to board the plane.

“..right?” he calls at you, a hint of worry in his tone. the corner of your lip tugs up in amusement as you walk off.

“wow, this spy stuff is quite boring.” kenji complains aloud. “how are you ever entertained doing this on your own? thank goodness you have me around now. perhaps we can even be some sort of duo, we can even have a cool name - the terrific two? nah. the dangerous duo? eh. oh wait, i’ve got it! mr. and mrs. smith-“

“will you shut up!” you turn your head away to snap at him. you were ready to lose your mind with his absurd commentary for the past hour.

the two of you stationed yourselves on top of a tall building’s rooftop hiding from plain view & your target’s sight. your current target was a supreme commander of another country, one that had indirectly expressed his indifference toward warner, but remained loyal to reestablishment principles. warner believes it’s possible he may have a hidden agenda concerning the reestablishment, and just to be sure, he tasked you to report his activity.

your mission wasn’t anything complicated, the majority of it consisted of keeping vigilant watch and reporting anything of utter importance. the two of you used your binoculars to spy on the commander and his men from above. but you understood why warner had wanted someone to accompany you. there were almost 3 times as many men than what you were used to on your operations. but you weren’t going to admit this to the person next to you.

kenji nods, “you’re right we should skip the mindless comments and instead get to know each other. after all, i’d be real awkward if i didn’t even know fun facts about my future girlfriend,” he makes a hand gesture toward you at the end of his words.

“first off, never going to be your girlfriend. second, this isn’t a date; we’re on a stakeout collecting information.” you reiterate.

“come on,” kenji complains, “these guys have done nothing for the past 2 hours. the only criminal thing that is worth mentioning is that the commander does not pull off purple .”

you scoffed, annoyed, but you couldn’t say he was completely lying. it has been kind of a slow night. the commander stood by his post, watching the soldiers pack shipments meant for other countries & sectors, including sector 45. whenever the supreme commander would leave, either kenji or you would tail him, but it was also a dead end. he either needed to use the bathroom or go to his office to retrieve something. a part of you was starting to wonder why warner would think of this man as suspicious when he seemed as bland as the color beige. it was quite offensive to your spy expertise to be sent on such a mundane mission.

you sigh in defeat, “fine,” you turn to face kenji, “if it gets you to shut up. what do you wanna know?”

kenji places his hand over his chest, making a face of disbelief. “wow, i’ve finally done it, i’ve cracked you. it’s only a matter of time now before you actually start enjoying my presence like most of the female population.”

“i’m this close to pushing you off the ledge right now.” you exclaim, pinching your index and thumb very close as a demonstration.

“well, if we’re gonna be working together,”

he starts, ignoring your threat, “we’ve got to learn more about eachother - you know ,like the deep stuff.”

“the deep stuff?” you repeat suspiciously.

“yeah, like, what’s your favorite color?”

you turn away dramatically, “well, now you’ve just crossed the line,” you say in a light tone.

he shakes his head, “seriously, what’s your favorite color?”

“hm,” you ponder on it for a second before answering, “i like yellow.”

“yellow?” he repeats, unsure of whether to believe you. “you’re telling me, the spy who is always seen in all black’s favorite color is yellow?” he speaks as if the concept is foreign to him.

you roll your eyes for the millionth time tonight, “i wear all black because i’m working, not by personal choice. my wardrobe is actually full of colorful choices.” you admit.

kenji smirks, “so, what color are you wearing underne-“

“anyway,” your speak over him, cutting him off. “what’s your favorite color?” you ask to change focus.

“purple. and not like the purple that supreme commander looks horrendous in,” you hold back a smile at the insult, “more like the shade of purple rapunzel’s dress is.”

you tilt your head, “who’s rapunzel, is she a friend of yours?”

his eyes narrow at you, “a friend of min- she’s only one of the greatest heroines in the disney film history!” he exclaims.

“what about your knee?”

“you can’t be serious-“

that was when you heard it, voices speaking in rushed and commanding tones, getting louder and louder to the point you were able to make out the words without your listening equipment. you recognized one of them - the supreme commander.

“shoot them!” he shouted at the soldiers.

you’d been spotted. and now they were going to start firing.

“kenji get down!”

“what-“

you didn’t wait for him to understand and instinctively jumped onto kenji’s body to bring him down to the ground and avoid him from getting shot.

due to your heroic act, you were unfortunately caught by a bullet and shot in your left arm. you’ve been shot before, but it didn’t suck any less. luckily, the adrenaline coursing through you helped subdue the pain for now, but you know it’s only a matter of time before you were withering in discomfort.

“shit!” kenji cursed in reaction to the many gunshots shooting at you both. you both are currently protected by the small four feet ledge from the building you were grounded on.

“how did they even spot us?“ kenji hollers so you could him him over the flux of bullets.

“i don’t know, but there’s no time for explanations. this ledge won’t protect us for long we have to find a way out of here without being noticed.“

you had a lurking suspicion the commander was given a heads-up on the arrival of two spies. however, it wasn’t a time to investigate that.

kenji began to move from beneath you so he could somewhat sit himself up, still avoiding being hit. his movement caused you to unintentionally hiss in pain when he rubbed against your injured arm; that is when kenji took notice of your wound.

he gently grabbed it for further inspection, blood oozing from the hole of the bullet plunged into your arm. returns his gaze to you. his eyes showing worry, “you’re injured. why didn’t you say anything?” he questions you gently.

he then swiftly untucked his long sleeve shirt for machines and ripped a piece of it from the bottom. then he began to wrap it around your injury and tie it to give it pressure to lessen the bleeding.

“didn’t think there was time, you know, with hundreds of bullets coming our way.”

kenji rolls his eyes. you speak up again before he has a chance to counter, “ok, we seriously need to focus on our plan of action right now. we are way too outnumbered to strike back.”

kenjis nods and looks down in concentration of convincing a plan, and you do the same. you both could maneuver your way down towards the way you came in, but no doubt the commander's men have already begun to circle around the entire establishment. you both could sprint quick enough and jump onto the neighboring building, but it would require some climbing. and with your current left arm in bad shape, could be almost impossible for you to climb a building with one arm, no matter the skill acquired in your training.

do you have to make a decision quick, so you went with the most logical one. “kenji,” you call his attention, and he looks up from his spot, “i have a plan. but..you’re going to have to go without me.”

kenji’s face shifted from concern to confusion. “i don’t understand..”

you briefly explained the small plan you concocted, “with my with my injury , it’s clear i can’t do it. so, it’s better that you go on and-“

kenji doesn’t let you finish. “no. no. that’s not an option.” he protests.

“you have t-“

his hand is covering your mouth in a second, “it’s out of the question. don’t go saying that stupid shit again, got it?“ he sternly tells you, looking you in the eye intensely.

you’ve never had someone be so adamant about leaving you behind. if it had been anyone else with you, they would’ve up and left the moment you suggested it. a warm feeling tingled in your stomach at the thought to kenji caring about you so much.

you’re quite stunned at his assertiveness, so you nod quietly - which is highly out of character for you.

once he knows you understand, he removes his hand from your face, sighing as he does so. “i have a way for us to get out of here unnoticed and safely,” kenji admits. you pique up, intrigued by how he has a better solution, and motion for him to continue. “but you’re really going to have to trust me for this to work, ok?” he says more like a statement than a question.

“ok.” you agree.

while you may not have known kenji too long or even liked him much before tonight, he wasn’t incompetent, mostly, you had enough faith in him to believe he wouldn’t intentionally put you both in harm's way.

kenji takes a deep breath in, and you can tell to ease his nerves. it bubbles up your curiosity more. it must be something quite grand for him to be nervous to do. but then again, it had to be something quite out of the box if it weren’t a plan you could’ve conceived.

“i’m going to grab your hand, and then i’m gonna need you to do your best to not freak out.” kenji instructs carefully to you.

now you were getting anxious; what could possibly make you freak out? generally weren’t the type to scare easily, and you’re sure kenji knew this. but you truly had no other option unless you wanted to be stranded here. the sound of gunfire served over to reminder of your limited time.

you nod in confirmation and hold out your right hand in permission for him to grab. kenji takes a second before he latches his hand into yours.

for a moment, you’re confused. nothing seems to be happening. part of you thought he was going to continue with your plan, but forcibly drag you along with him. you turn your attention toward the other side to check if you were supposed to see something. but again, saw nothing of significance.

you begin to scowl, “kenji is this a joke-“

but when you turn to see kenji, no one is there. right away, you assume he left you and did everything prior as some twisted joke. you were ready to get angry, but then you felt the pressure on your palm. you were still holding his hand.

you looked around again and saw no sign of kenji besides his hand in yours. your confusion was deepening at this point, and you were beginning to think you passed out after being shot and were currently dreaming. you looked down at your interlocked hands, but you didn’t see your hands either. your eyes then moved over to your own body, but again - nothing.

you gasp, “what the hell?”

you instantly panic, not understanding what is happening. you move your body in the hope it would make it visible again, but failed. you try to free your hand from kenji’s, but he firmly keeps it gripped.

“hey, it’s alright, i’m here. calm down.” you hear kenji finally speak from next to you. you feel his thumb rub over the top of your hand in an attempt to soothe you.

you ignore him and attempt to make a list of possible nonsense that would explain the situation. “are we dead?”

“no! just invisible.” he states calmly as if the whole situation were normal. he stands up, forcing you to do the same. he begins to build up a run toward the side of the building. you can’t see either of your bodies, so you do your best to keep up without tripping.

“invisible?” you repeat, “how are we invisible?” it sounded ridiculous saying it aloud, but it was the only “reasonable” explanation for what was happening.

“uh, let’s just say i have a certain skill set.” he says in a rushed tone. you couldn’t tell if it was because he wanted to avoid answering or focus on the task at hand. maybe both.

“that doesn’t explain anything!” you say, waving your other arm around, although you both are unable to see it.

now having reached the side of the building you entered from, you see the ladder that led you both up. kenji wastes no time on stepping down first. you can’t see his movement but can feel yourself being tugged and the sound of his boots hitting the metal.

you follow, continuing to hold his hand as he leads you both down the ladder of the building. “as you mentioned over and over before, there’s no time for explanations. you just focus on getting down this ladder.”

you did as he said (for once) and continued stepping down, with one hand on the rail, in silence. for once in your life, you were speechless.

you both successfully evaded the commander and his soldiers. the invisibility had proven to be true because you walked past them like it was nothing, as they still shot to where they assumed the two of you were still positioned.

there were no words exchanged on the way back to the plane. kenji took the initiative to inform the pilot of your coordinates, so the two of you could be picked up. you felt foolish for being so unprofessional, but you finally evading the danger, your state of shock was brought back.

when the plane finally landed down, kenji had finally returned both of your visible states and then released your hand. you could feel the sweat on it from holding on so long, but you were still reeling in from events to notice or care.

both of you moved to board the plane.

if you hadn’t faced some blood loss and felt incredible fatigue, you would’ve hounded kenji for answers on your way back to sector 47. but as soon as you sat down on a seat, you were out like a light.

the next time you open your eyes, all you could see was white. the ceiling lights temporarily blinded you, making it hard to see your surroundings at first.

you groaned from disorientation and the blinding light. you turn to the sense of touch and understand you are lying on a bed. your vision settled, and you were able to vaguely recognize your surrounding. the long windows, medical supplies, other white-sheeted beds neighboring, faint smell of disinfectant — you were in the medical wing in sector 45.

you knew it was the infirmary from your sector because of the large indentation on the wall from a mishap of yours a few years prior, one of the few times you actually went to a trained nurse instead of mending to yourself. long story short, the nurses really should have de-weaponized you before attempting to wake you up after you’d passed out.

now knowing you were in a dangerous environment, you slowly began to sit up. you used one hand to stable yourself since the other was put into a cast. the aching you were trying to put off the whole mission came in full force.

you looked down at your attire; your first layers of clothes covered in grime and blood were removed. now you were only left in your black shorts and tank top.

not even a moment later, you hear the sounding of the your door opening.

“well finally you’re awake!” a voice says, “thought i’d need to wake you up with true love’s kiss.”

kenji walks up to your bedside, his sly smile never faltering until he takes a glance at your injured arm.

he peers down at your face. he takes a hand and moves a strand of hair behind your ear. your stomach warms at the feeling of his faint touch on the side of your face.

“i thought i’d lost you for a second there, sleeping beauty.” kenji says in a gentle tone.

another reference of his you didn’t understand, but you chose to focus on his other words instead.

you tilt your sore neck, which you regret, in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“you were asleep the whole flight, and when we landed, i tried to wake you, but you wouldn’t stir. i knew something was wrong. my assumption was proven correct because when i examined your arm, your blood loss was almost severe. after that, i just rushed to get here.” kenji explains, his tone a bit somber. you fight the urge to hold his hold and comfort him, then chide yourself for thinking so something so intimate involving kenji.

guess you probably should’ve checked your arm when you boarded the plane. somehow, your bloody arm had gone from the first to the last thing on your mind during the operation.

“and now your facing my dashingly handsome face.” he cockily adds in.

there it is. you don’t even snarkily counter back. for once, you just smile in response. you give in to your urges and grab onto his hand, giving it a soft squeeze, “thank you kenji. seriously, i know we started on the wrong foot, but i’m very grateful to you.” you say sincerely.

kenji squeezes your hand in return, “to be fair, you’re the one who’s made your distaste toward me very clear while all i did was confess my undying love to you.” he corrects with a pout. he places a hand over his heart in fake pain.

your mouth gapes, “what? you’re the one who not only showed up late, but acted like a total douche the first time we met.”

kenji laughs at this sheepishly, “yeah, about that..” he goes to rubs his hand on the side of his neck.

“what?” you question. “don’t leave me hanging.”

kenji laughs, “that first meeting, i wasn’t actually late.” he starts.

you shake your head, “yes you were. i waited there for almost half an hour.”

“i was there fifteen minutes early, waiting by the door. but then i saw you walk past me, not even sparing a glance, and go into the training room.” kenji confesses.

“then why were you so late?” you interrupt impatiently. you don’t remember seeing him there at all, and if he had been there, why didn’t he just go in straight after you instead of wasting your time.

“i’m getting there, angel.” kenji taps his index finger on the tip of your nose. you swat his hand and wait for him to go on.

“after you went in, i was stunned. truly. you were the most gorgeous being i’d ever seen, and you walked around like you didn’t even know it.”

you smack his arm at his dramatic flattery, “shut up, quit playing around and get to the point.”

“am i one to lie?” he asks rhetorically.

you give him a look. “alright, maybe, but it doesn’t make what i said any less true. you are beautiful, and anyone who hasn’t told you that is an idiot.”

you scoff, turning your head away from kenji. you rather him not see the rising redness on your cheeks.

luckily kenji continues without comment, “anyway, after i got a hold of myself, i thought, ‘how was a guy supposed to walk in and face this goddess of a person supposed to be his trainer.’ he can’t, so he does the classic guy move, ‘act indifferent to make yourself seem cooler in front of a girl.”

“so you acted like an asshole….on purpose….because you wanted to be cool in front of me?” you repeat slowly, making sure you understood his stupid plan.

“ok, i get it; it's not my best moment. trust me when i say i realized my mistake as soon as you started kicking my ass like it was nothing. but it actually made me like you more and even turned me on a bit-“

“ok, i think i got it!” you weren’t one to be so easily flushed, but it was hard not to when he was so blunt about affection toward you. even if it was vulgar.

“after that horrible first meeting, i had to get you to like me.” kenji explains, “so i did my best to use my attractiveness and charming persona to seduce you. but, damn, you wouldn’t even bat an eye at my attempts. that only made me wanna do it more.”

you cross your arms over your chest, “so what, you like me because i’m pretty and a challenge for you?” you ask with an aloof tone.

“maybe at the start, but now, everything about you has me captivated. your strength and resilience. the way people undermine you, but you don’t let it stop you from proving them wrong. how to most, you’re uptight and cold, but you actually care more than you’d want to admit. i admire that you want to be the best, but not for warner, for yourself.” your eyes begin to soften at kenji as he describes you so passionately. you didn’t realize observant of you he was.

kenji continues, “hell, even your stubbornness. though, you break my heart a little every time you reject one of my very well thought out pick up lin-“

you don’t wait to hear anymore. abruptly, you sit up and yank him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to your eye level. you’re moving automatically as if in a trance, and your sturdy hand reaches the right side of his face. “shut up.” you say in a rushed whisper.

then you kiss him. you actually, willingly, lean in and collide your lips with kenji kishimoto. you like it very much too. and there is no better feeling than the way his lips on yours make your heart race and body buzz with warmth and exhilaration.

everything happened so quick, kenji was frozen in his spot for a good moment - his eyes so wide they could’ve popped out. then, he smoothly regained composure. his face relaxed, now having a giddy grin into the kiss, and slid a hand to the back of your neck, under your hair, to hold you closer.

even though the kiss was a heat-of-the-moment decision, the kiss itself wasn’t heated nor rushed. no, it was almost the exact opposite. your lips were tenderly pressed together, heads titled opposite directions so you fit together in sync.

you move your touch to his covered chest, gripping his plain fitted shirt for dear life, a way to remind yourself that this was all very real.

you’re the first to pull away; part of you already longing for his touch as you did. you felt dizzy, not in a loss of blood way, but in a weightless feeling way. you couldn’t stop the silly smile etched on your face, nor the flushed look that was likely written all over your face. you couldn’t even find yourself caring about it.

kenji’s appearance isn’t much different from yours, but his smile is crooked and screams more of satisfaction and a bit of cockiness. “told you i’d eventually win you over.”

you chuckle and lightly punch kenji’s bicep, shaking your head, “tell anyone, and i’ll deny it.” you threaten in jest.

you tap your lips with your index finger and look up in mock contemplation, “hm. maybe if you explain how you turned us invisible back there i’ll think about a date.” you remind him. you were still owed a great explanation.

kenji grins, “is that all it takes? well, then, i’ve got a hell of a story for you.”

special thank you to @butterflyreads for being so patient and liking my works, hope you enjoy this one <3

#kenji kishimoto #kenji kishimoto x reader #kenji kishimoto x female reader #kenji kishimoto imagine #shatter me #shatter me fanfic #aaron warner #juliette ferrars #x female reader #reader imagine #reader insert

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hugemilkshake · 7 months

Text

I decided to do some headcannons of a Yandere Elder Faerie bc I got bored, also no art for this bc Elder Faerie is hard to draw-

Yandere Elder Faerie

Platonic or Romantic insulation

!TW! Under the cut are yandere themes like paranoia, manipulation, attempted murder (sorta), slight isolation and an over protective nature

You probably ended up in the Faerie Kingdom after Silverbell found you injured and decided to help you.

One of the faerie cookies were the one to help you, Elder Faerie probably met you after one of his subjects came and told him about you

Elder Faerie was normal at first, he was respectful and patient with your recovery

But after a while… he started to see some similarities with you and White Lily Cookie…

The way you treated the faeries, the way you smiled… the way you made him feel… it was all too similar to White Lily Cookie…

Elder Faerie started to slowly shift his behaviors…

He would start to talk to you more and accompany you to more places.

The more time Elder Faerie spent with you, the more it felt this this wouldn’t be White Lily all over again... he was wrong…

It was a rainy day and Elder Faerie and you were in the library when you told him you were ready to leave the Faerie Kingdom.

On the outside, Elder Faerie was calm, but on the inside… what you said broke him.

Why did you want to leave?! The Faerie Kingdom was the safest place you could be! You fit in perfectly here! So why would you ever want to leave?!

That night Elder Faerie had to gather his thoughts…

Elder Faerie walked around and found himself right next to the glass case White Lily was resting in.

But… he didn’t see White Lily… he saw you

He..he couldn’t let this happen… not again… he wouldn’t let the same thing that happened to White Lily happen to you.

So he was going to try to convince you to stay…

Elder Faerie easily led Silverbell away from the gates just so he could lead one of the beasts that resided in Beast Yeast into his kingdom.

Elder Faerie led the beast to you. The beast found you and was going to kill you!

But no worries Elder Faerie saved you!

So could you now see the dangers that were outside the kingdom? Did you want to end up as a pile of crumbs? You should just stay with him where you’re safe!

After that Elder Faerie never left your side, he told the guards that you should be protected first if something were to happen to the kingdom. Silverbell was willing to do so! The guilt of letting a beast in was tearing him apart- But Mercurial Knight was a little unsure with Elder Faeries request but he still respected the guardians wishes

Even with you being safe in the kingdom, you Elder Faerie was still paranoid that you’d get hurt…

Elder Faerie considered sealing you in The Silver Tree just so you could stay out of harms way… but he didn’t want those beasts to harm you… he might have to find a way to destroy those beasts…

But at the end of the day everything was perfect!

That was until a group of cookies was led into the kingdom…

#crk #cookie run #crk x reader #yandere elder faerie #elder faerie cookie

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cloudninetonine · 1 year

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Could I make a soft request of simple domestic moments with the chain? 👀

It could honestly be anything honest to god. This was all triggered by me finding a POV Video of your comfort character taking the last slice of bread from you bc they had the butter HAHAHA

I think the boys need some major TLC and what better way to give it to them other than domestic moments, right?

I hope you liked this <3 I wasn't entirely sure what to do but I was listening to some oldies but goldies and it came to me

You liked Lon Lon Ranch, a break from the hiking life and a time to relax without a care in the world.

Well, you got the luxury of relaxing. The others weren’t so lucky, not that you weren’t willing to help around the ranch or barn, but Malon had decided it was the best chance to get to know you, know of your world and just learn about you as the other heroes worked their arses off outside.

Some much discussed, such little time, you made sure to tell your favourite farmer everything as simple as you could when the topic changed to your phone, glinting in your pocket and catching her attention.

“It’s a phone! It’s kind of like Wild’s Sheikah slate? I can use it to communicate, play games, take photos, listen to music-”

“Music?” Her tone sounded interested and she leaned in. “Please, do tell me more.”

And that’s what lead to the scene the boys walked into. Your phone blasting music, the red head and you, hand and hand, dancing happily around the kitchen as you sung your lungs out. Malon didn’t know the words sticking to giggles and laughter as you span her and dipped her.

The two of you only noticed the nine when she made an attempt to spin you, your eyes looking upon them in a shock and the words on your lips dying in the second as you fell quiet. Malon looked confused at first before she turned, blinking then smiling towards the boys in greeting.

“Join the party!” The men hesitated, sharing unsure stares amongst themselves. “Hm! Aren’t you a boring lot! Don’t stop now, (Name), we can’t let them ruin our fun!”

Malon spun you away, your voice a squeak in surprise when you landed in the arms of Sky, looking down at you curiously while you flushed.

What an embarrassing thing to be caught in. It wasn’t too bad with an audience of one, Malon’s extroverted personality taking over your natural bashful nature until you were a barrel of laughs all over the place. You’d do this back home, with your mama, with your friends- this felt like normalcy after so long of oddity.

But these men were highly respect heroes. You couldn’t just goof about and sing in front of them, what if they made fun of you? You already lacked enough in the fighting department, Hyrule’s tiny dagger the only thing to your name that you couldn’t even yield. You didn’t deserve to goof off, to have fun, you were supposed to be quiet and stay in line, stay out of their way, to-

Then your song came on.

And everything was thrown out the window.

Tugging Sky towards you, ignoring his surprised yelp you sang, not a care in the world, not holding back. The dirty blonde looked shocked at first, letting you tug him about like a ragdoll and take control before a similar goofy smile crossed his face and then you were both dancing together.

Malon clapped happily, yanking at Time’s shirt to tug him into a dance while the others stood about unsure.

You couldn’t have that, could you?

Spinning you, Sky let you twirl away before you grabbed the hands of Hyrule whose ears flapped happily at your attention. Your smile was beaming, his was almost blinding as you began to dance with him too, Wild joining quickly after and soon enough your little trio was a mess of limbs and giggling away.

They sung too, something you realised after a moment but it only brought more joy. “You guys know the song!?”

“Of course we do!” Wild started, dipping you then letting Hyrule pick you up to twirl you, your squeal heavenly to their ears.

“You would sing it all the time!” Hyrule finished, finally placing you down and you tugged them into a hug.

You managed to move to each of the boys. Wind was happy; Four was bashful; Warriors held your enthusiasm; Twilight looked flustered with his fanged smile and Legend someone managed not to curse your entire bloodline as you twirled him around the dinner table. Time was your final partner, your head against his shoulder while he gently swayed you opposite to the toe tapping beat, the others in their own world around you.

A happy night, a deserving one as you partied. The laughter and mirth shared amongst the kitchen a lovely sight amongst these heroes forged from tragedy. You hoped it would bring good memories, this night, you hoped that in moments of darkness they would think back to the time you shared laughter and dance moves.

You hoped you did good.

Your phone finally died and a shared groan ehcoed around the room before finally you moved to eat.

#cloud answers #linked universe #linked universe x reader #lu #linked universe imagine #player au #a player's aid #Anon asks

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strwberri-milk · 2 years

Note

helloo?? just found the best Kaeya fics I've ever read?? thank you!!?? may I request reader's first time with Kaeya? or if I may, Kaeya taking readers virginity? If you do end up writing this thank you!

hello this is my favourite trope idk if i think kaeya is like super duper experienced but i like to imagine that hes got enough exprience under his belt mainly bc?? it just works better w the way i go into this but i do not subscribe to manwhore mondays kaeya not to slam anyone who does i just!!! also love the idea of him being so shy w someone he loves anyway goodbye - also aefawfaw i went so overbard and thank you for the compliment and request!!

Kaeya's a sweetheart. When he asked you out he did it with a shy smile after an insane amount of deliberation that he hasn't even used to do his job. Clearly, he's got his priorities straight and you're dead center in his sights.

You were worried that some of the less than savoury rumors about him were true. You two were close enough that you could determine such things about him were indeed just falsities but that didn't stop the voice in the back of your head trying to warn you about him.

But, thankfully the concern was unfounded with the way he was treating you. Kaeya was more than patient with you, not minding waiting at all. After all, as long as you were happy he was happy! And he's got an overactive imagination that can help him out when needed.

However, once you told him you were willing to move to the next step in your relationship physically he can't deny just how excited the prospect made him. He wasn't ready to do it right away, no, he wanted to make sure everything was perfect, meaning he's set up everything mentally to make sure you would have an amazing time period, forget the whole first thing.

Kaeya can feel his heart pound painfully in his chest at the way you look up at him. The haze of lust sits comfortably over both your shoulders, his hands gently resting against the hem of your shirt. You answer the unspoken question in his eye, hiding the urge to cover yourself as his gaze roams over your now fully nude body. His knee sits between your legs, keeping you in place as he leans down to kiss you again.

"You're still okay, right?" he asks when your lips part, checking in with you for what feels like the gajillionth time. It just makes you laugh, nodding as you rest your arms on his shoulders.

"Just be gentle, okay? I can't handle all of your pent-up libido at once," you tease, laugh dissolving into slight whines when he starts trailing kisses down your neck to your collar.

It takes him no time to work you to a whining mess, fingers working skillfully over you as your hips buck into him. You want him to press inside of you, craving him in a way you've never felt before but he only shushes you, wanting to prepare you first.

Kaeya takes note of every reaction you give him, making sure to focus his attentions on certain parts or motions when you keen especially loud or hard into his body. His cock bounces against his stomach just as eagerly, holding back his own desire to make the most out of this moment.

The way you spill over his fingers with your first orgasm makes him almost cum untouched, mind racing as he desperately tries to imagine what it'll feel like to have your body clenching over his cock. He kisses you hard as you cum, swallowing all of your moans eagerly as his hands hold your thighs apart to spread you wide for his girth.

"Kaeya!" you whine breathlessly, shoulders digging into the sheets as he begins to press into you.

You knew he was big, already unsure if you'd be able to take him when you saw him undress. He promised to make it as painless as possible, making sure to lubricate both of your bodies effectively to lessen the burden of the stretch. However, even just getting the bulbous head of his cock seemed to be too much for you right now, pain coursing through your body as he buries your face into his shoulder.

"Just be patient, okay?' he grunts into your ear, moaning loudly as he sinks inside of you a little deeper.

"It'll hurt right now but if you can bear it with me just a little it'll feel good, I swear. Just let me take care of you sweetheart."

You nod against him, nails that were once digging into his back from pain becoming marks of pleasure once the two of you adjust. His pace is steady, not too fast or harsh, but just enough that you can feel his heavy balls slapping against your ass in a way that's so lewd when mixed with his low moans in your ear. You struggle to move against him, the foreign intrusion and burn in your thighs almost distracting you from the numb pleasure burning in your mind and core.

His pace gets rougher when you begin to buck against him impatiently, finally finding a rhythm that the two of you can match together. It takes everything in him to not hold your hips down and ram into you the way he's been dreaming of, saving it in the back of his mind for another time. Now, he's more focused on the way you call out his name, words melting off when he hits a particular spot inside of you.

"Feels good, doesn't it? You're doing so good for me right now - you feel so much better than I thought you would," he praises, biting back his more filthy thoughts as you nod.

"I wanna cum, please, Kaeya, I want you so bad," you cry, hands moving to press against his chest as he obliges to your wish.

He brings a hand back down to where your bodies are joined, resisting his urge to cum when you clench over him from the touch of his fingers. It makes you so tight he can barely move, thrusts getting rougher to accommodate the adjustment.

Soon enough, the two of you are cumming together, your release something Kaeya thinks he'll never forget. He memorises the way your brows draw together, the way you sing for him, the tightening over his dick as he feels your walls milk him for all he's worth.

You've absolutely ruined him, his brain rotting at the reminder he's the only one that you've shown this lewd expression to. He can't wait to show you even more things.

#kaeya #kaeya smut #kaeya x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #genshin impact smut #genshin smut

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uhohwhathaveidone · 2 years

Text

Seeds of Love (O.G)

Not a request because I’m currently working on a project based off two requests that I have but wrote up some Ominis content for you. Thank you for your patience and kind words as well, my brother is fine (He’s definitely in jail for riding an unregistered bike) and my mother is doing well since her surgery! I hope to begin writing and posting more soon and perhaps return to our original schedule, so be on the lookout! This is just fluff, and there’s no mention of the reader’s gender or house <3 just a small frustration because I wanted to use Stargazer Lillies in this bc they’re my favourite but they were bred in 1975 and wouldn’t have been a thing at the time, so I improvised and went with flowers native to Scottland. I ALMOST POSTED THIS TO THE WRONG BLOG I GOT SCARED

You take in a slow breath as the warm light from the sun hits your face, the warm breeze causing the flowers around you to gently sway. You turn to Ominis as you sighed, smiling as he fixed his robe. “There are plenty of different flowers around here that I haven’t seen before, I’m glad you agreed to come with me.” You said, taking his hand as you led him through the field, a small patch of sun and colourful nature in the midst of the Forbidden Forest. Ominis nodded, following you as he felt another breeze blow through, the sweet scent of flowers filling his senses. “I do have a question, though, if you will.” He said, frowning slightly as he turned his gaze to you. “Of course, go right ahead.” You replied, stopping as you turned to Ominis. “How did you find this place? It was quite the walk to get here, even with Floo Powder. Where are we, exactly?” You smiled sheepishly as you looked down at the grass, unsure how to explain how you ended up in a field of flowers.

“Well, I guess you could say we’re in the Forbidden Forest.” “Forbidden Forest? Why are we in the Dark Woods? And what were you doing here in the first place?” You fiddled with your fingers, looking around you as you tried to think. “I was in The Three Broomsticks, when one of the patrons called me over. They talked about how they saw butterflies around here once, when she was a student. She wanted to know where they led and asked if I would be able to find out for her.” Ominis sighed as he shook his head lightly. “So, a woman asked you to follow butterflies, into the woods that she was too scared to go into, and you did?” You nodded, frowning. “It was something to do, I suppose. And it worked out well in the end. They led me to a random chest, so I figured I would continue to follow them again next time I saw them.” And you did; following the cluster of butterflies had become a game of hide and seek, and you had enjoyed the things you had found each time. “So, I followed them a bit ago, and they led me here. There was nothing of value really, not even a bag of coins. But this place is filled with amazing flowers, and the grass is actually green instead of the dark scale in the woods. I think it’s beautiful.” You said, taking a seat in the soft grass.

You patted Ominis’ leg as looked down, taking his hand to have him sit next to you. Ominis looked at you, puzzled. “Why did you bring me here, then?” He asked, hearing leaves rustle as the breeze came through again, the blades of grass tickling his hand. He turned his head to his side, dropping his hand to run it through the soft grass with a small smile. You smiled as you watched him, forgetting for a moment that he had asked you a question. “Y/n? Did you hear me?” He asked, turning to you again with furrowed brows. Your eyes widened slightly as you nodded quickly. “Yes! Well, I figured you’d enjoy it. I have a bunch of the flowers memorized now, so I could have talked about them to you at the castle, but I wanted you to be here in this space.” You explained, your cheeks heating up slightly as you turned away, picking a flower and examining it. “This space? It feels undisturbed, as if no one has found it yet.” Ominis said, finding a collection of Daffodils and feeling the soft yellow petals, or perhaps this was a collection of white ones? “It’s pretty deep into the forest, so it should be safe to assume that no one has found it. Just us, for the time being.” You smiled, reaching over him as you took one of the daffodils, smiling as you dropped it onto his lap. “Those are huge, the daffodils. They’re the white ones with the orange center, not like the yellow ones that honk at you when you pass by.” Ominis smiled as he picked up the flower, its strong stalk bending slightly as he tilted it towards you. “This place is nice. I’m glad you thought to bring me here with you.”

The two of you continued to relax in the meadow; Ominis sat happily as you would run off for a moment and come back with another flower, placing it in his hands as you gushed about its colour. Ominis didn’t know what you were doing with the flowers afterwards, but you never gave him time to ask when you returned again with a new flower. “Ominis!” You shouted happily, causing him to jump slightly. He turned his head towards you, leaning back slightly when you came up behind him. “What is it? Did you find something?” He asked, smiling as he felt your hand graze his face as you stood over him. “I did! There’s a small patch of flowers near the edge of the field that I hadn’t looked at! Oh, they’re amazing, Ominis!” You said, taking a seat next to him as you crossed your legs, holding the new flower in your hands gently as you gazed at it. “It’s a Parnassus! This one in particular is one is the Grass of Parnassus.” You said, smiling as you placed it into his hands. Ominis felt the soft petals, furrowing his brows as he registered the name. “Grass of Parnassus? What kind of name is that?” He asked, frowning as he twirled the small flower between his fingers. You chuckled, looking at the flower as it spun, forming a shape that resembled the twinkle of a star. “It lives in batches of grass, usually near water, but I didn’t see any nearby. The flower itself doesn’t look like grass.” You smiled, chuckling to yourself.

“It certainly doesn’t feel like grass. But it has a nice shape” Ominis said, trailing a finger over the flower. “What are these patches of things in it? Is that where the pollen is?” You nodded, grabbing his hand, and moving his finger to where one of the many antennae sat, the soft yellow powder brushing off onto his finger. “There’s five of them, each with at least seven smaller bundles of yellow things. I’m not sure why they need so many, but it looks cute.” Ominis nodded, his cheeks slightly warm as you stayed close, taking his finger to move over the flower itself. “It looks like a star, and it’s white with what kind of looks like veins on each petal.” “Veins? Why would a flower have veins?” You chuckled as you shook your head. “I don’t think they work like actual veins; it’s just how they grow. It also has a bulb in its center, not sure what it does, if I’m to be honest.” You watched as Ominis continued to mess with the flower, smiling as he furrowed his brows when he traced the surface of the flower again, taking in the details that you described to him. You sighed, looking around the area as bundles of wildflower swayed gently, stretching your arms. “There are plenty of flowers here that I haven’t shown you, if you’d like another.” Ominis turned to you, head tilted slightly as he held the flower gently. “Only if you want, I’m rather contempt with the flowers you have brought me, but I wait eagerly for your next find.” He said, smiling as he listened to you whisper a small “yes!”

As you went off in search of another flower, Ominis sat alone, feeling the warm rays of the sun kiss his skin as his heart began to beat faster. He kept the Parnassus in his hand as he felt a small smile grace his lips, his chest tightening with each beat from his heart. He appreciated you; everything you did for him was sweet. You had found a random untouched meadow and thought to bring him with you to explore it. You took the time to hand pick what you thought was the perfect flower for him, describing them to him each time without fail. When did you start doing that? Ominis thought, feeling his cheeks heat up. He heard your voice call to him once again, announcing that you had found another flower. He turned his head in your direction, his eyes widening as he felt a wave of nervousness wash over him as he visualized your smile, feeling as if he had just discovered what love was.

You reach him and smile, holding a soft bundle of purple Heather in your hand. You stood there beside Ominis as he gazed up at you, confused as you watched him try to stand. “I brought you some Heather, they smell really nice!” You said, handing them over as Ominis straightened his back as he continued to hold the other flower. “Y/n, why do you do this for me?” He asked, taking the Heather from you and gently letting it rest in his palm. You furrowed your brows as you frowned slightly, confused. “What do you mean?” “You didn’t have to bring me here or tell me about flowers. But you did, why?” You looked down at the grass, watching as it darkened in his shadow. “Because you deserve it, of course.” You said, smiling as you glanced up. Ominis felt his cheeks heat up more as he bit the inside of his cheek. “I’m sure you would have an easier time showing this to anyone else, you don’t have to waste your breath describing flowers to me.” He said softly, playing with the flowers in his hand. You shook your head as you scoffed, reaching to take the Parnassus from his hand. “I want you to know what’s around you. You should know how the world around you looks, even if I must describe everything around you.” “You don’t have to.” “I want to be your eyes, besides, no one else would willingly want to follow me to a flower patch like you did.” You chuckled, placing the flower into the pocket of his robe.

Ominis took your hand into his as soon as you let go of the flower, his gaze to the ground as he spoke quietly. “You wish to be my eyes.” You nodded, gently squeezing his hand. Ominis stayed silent for a moment, pondering what to say next. “Would you tell me, then. What do you see when you look at me?” Your smile grew as you gazed at his face, his cheeks becoming pinker as you watched. “I see a work of art. Like flowers, or the night sky; I can’t help but wonder what artist was able to envision a being as beautiful as you.” You spoke gently, feeling your hand squeezed as his eyes widened. “You speak as if you have already thought about it.” “I have. You don’t give yourself enough credit, you know.” “One would think that there was love in those words, with the way you said them.” He said, a small smile gracing his lips. You nodded, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks as you smiled softly. “One would think.” Ominis stood frozen, his heart beating rapidly as he spoke. “My love is yours, if you’re willing to take it.”

Your smile grew as you kissed his cheek, slowly wrapping an arm around his center, still keeping hold of his hand. “And my hand is yours to hold, even if you have nowhere to go.” You said softly, placing another kiss on his face. Ominis smiled as he wrapped his free arm around you, the Heather still held between his fingers. You smiled as you glanced at the purple flowers beside you, finally connecting your lips with his. He smiled into the kiss, his soft lips moving in sync with your own as you chuckled slightly. As you pulled away, you couldn’t stop yourself from planting a small kiss to his nose, watching as his eyes widened in surprise. “I promise to plant kisses like seeds to your being, so that one day you will grow to love yourself as I love you.” You said, breathing in the breeze, smiling as it picked up the flowers you had picked for Ominis and scattering them around you. Ominis chuckled as he held you tighter, whispering into your ear. “You’ll have to do a lot of kissing then, just to combat the love I have for you.”

#ominis gaunt imagine #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis x reader #ominis gaunt #ominis x you #ominis gaunt fluff #hogwarts legacy fluff #hogwarts legacy imagine #hogwarts legacy

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ador3him · 2 years

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hello! can you do “i’d never turn down a kiss from you.” with dream??

pairing: Dream x gn!reader

warnings: alcohol usage/abuse (not that noticeable but can be interpreted that way) swearing

requested? yes by anon

word count: 630

a/n: WOOOO NO.4 OUT OF 10 its offical guys I am only doing 10 of these quick writes for the event. SO, REQUEST QUICK!!!!! (many bc i j found out i am moving this weekend so i dont exactly have time to be writing a billion) any request that are out of the 10 i will still do! just not is the 24hr time period (it will still be a part of the 150 event though!) I got this request at 6:31am AEST (16 hrs agoish)

Dreams’ eyes widen at the sight before him. A messy, drunken y/n. Their hair knotty- almost matted, their eyes droopy and their smile lopsided. The straps of their top falling down without notice as their arms wrap around Dreams’ neck bringing his for a hug, y/n basically hanging from his neck from the height difference.

“Hello D-Dream,” y/n slurs stumbling into the foyer of his house, they felt tiny inside the high roofed mansion he lived in. Dream looks stunned, y/n barely if ever drinks this much. Sure, they drink every week, but not so much that they are rocking up at their best friends’ house stumbling and slurring words. “y/n, why are you drunk and at my house,” he pinches the bridge of his nose sighing at the scene: y/n on the couch trying yanking off a pair of shoes failing miserably. y/n just shrugs unsure of why they are actually here. Dream had just gotten home after being at LA for TwitchCon for a good week and a half. After TwitchCon Dream and George went to a café with Addison Rae, the stunning Addison Rae, jealously immediately boiled within y/n and they haven’t stopped drinking in the 2 days since the photo has been posted.

“C’mere give me your foot,” Dream motions for y/ns’ foot. “Why of course my royal slave, get me out of my shackles,” y/n retorts in a fake as ever British accent which was utterly horrible but he just chuckles. He gently unties their shoelaces and shimmies the shoe off of each foot being careful and slow not wanting to yank their foot like they were to themselves before.

“Look you are drunk and incoherent, lets get you to bed and we can talk about this tomorrow. Hm?” Dream offers a hand and pulls up y/n, they latch onto his arm and trudge slowly to his room- well toward his room. They were extremely slow so Dream lifts y/n up and carries them to his bed effortlessly. He lays them down and hands them a pair of his sweatpants and his hoodie, walking out the room. “Where are you going?” y/n soft voice startles him, not expecting them to be so soft-spoken after before. “I am going to sleep on the couch,” he answers as if it’s the most obvious thing ever. “Nuh-uh,” they walk over to the door- tripping a bit- and pull on his arm. He follows them to the bed thinking he would sneak out when they fall asleep.

“Can I kiss you Dreamy?” y/n breaks the silence that fell between them for 2 minutes. A couple more seconds and Dream would’ve assumed that they were asleep. “I’d never turn down a kiss from you, y/n but you’re drunk, and I am not taking advantage of you like that, have a good sleep,” Dream moves out from under them and kisses their forehead goodnight.

He sleeps on the couch that night- well more like lays there until the sun is fully up a couple hours later as y/n came to his house pretty early in the morning. He walks to y/n his room with water and some Panadol, planning on placing it on the bed side table and leave but y/n is wide awake groaning softly. “Rough night?” Dream jokes handing them the hangover supplies. “Fuck up,” they mumble taking the water and Panadol. He lifts his arms in surrender and goes to leave the room- maybe to make breakfast for them both and his 2 other roommates. “I remember what I asked you last night, I am sorry,” y/n blurts out. “I stand by what I said I’d never turn down a kiss from you.” He says and walks out of his room.

Just fucking walks away leaving y/n stunned.

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punishing-eden · 1 year

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congratulations for reaching the milestone 🫂. If you write for Rossetta,Qu and Bianca , may i request them with a commandant that are very strict during work,but very affectionate in private with them? Take your time <3

Author's note:

Ah, thank you 💓💓.

I, unfortunately, don't have Rosetta, but I will do my best with this one. Bc Qu is also my favourite 😭😭. Her design is so good... Pls buff her already!

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A Strict Commandant is a Good Commandant...

Rosetta, Qu and Bianca headcanons

Not beta read

You were the top graduate of the F. O. S Military Command College. The Commandant of the elite squad: Grey Ravens. Some rumored, you are the top candidate of Prisdent Hassen.

Through and through, everyone and constructs finds you impressive and intimating. Your methods are diligent, strict and a person focus on delivery; while on the battle field.

People wondered, how is it that your bond with your constructs, despite your attitude was strict professional, get along so well...

Qu (Pavo)

When Qu first worked with you, she was surprised by how strict you were.

She followed your every demand and level of performance without problems. In which, she has the same sentiment at the very start.

Both you and her get along during work as Qu see thing see things eye to eye with you.

Although during after hours, Qu was a little confused. How should she carry herself when you, had become more relax and warm towards her.

A stark contrast when in the battle field.

At first, she tries to get you to explain why could you be so relaxed during off hours. (She believes one should work 24/7 for something).

"Everyone needs a break. Don't you take breaks too?" you smiled.

Qu recalls how she took a 3 minute break back in Kowloong, and felt bad about it. However, you kept on reassuring her.

"Earth won't fall if you take a 3 minute break." you teased.

It would take her some time to be convinced and soon learn how to relax during off hours. You offer to do her some favours, making her feel comfortable with the concept of relaxation.

With favours, she would ask you to brush through her hair from time to time.

Bianca (Zero)

As the Grey Ravens and Purifying Squad's missions intersect more and more, Bianca had got use to working with you.

She keeps everything professional and appreciates the fact you are just as professional.

She thinks your judgement is fair. Although, sometimes your opinions does get her interested.

Your opinions had given her many insights. She had used what she learn from you and applied it to her job. Opening to more routes and methods.

Bianca places a lot of trust in you, given how fair and dillient you take on each situtation.

Despite her own nature, Bianca does have her troubles during missions. Sometimes she would be in a very messy situtation, not knowing how she could go about it.

Her first thought was to go to you, hoping you could give her insight or advice.

It does not surprise her at all when she saw how relax you were in your office. Everyone has two sides. It's normal.

While, you were causal with her, Bianca seems to be indifferent with her attitude. Still quite aloof and professional, however, she does have a softer tone when she speaks with you in private.

From then on, she held you in a higher regard. She thinks you are the prefect candidate; able to make a balance between strictly professional, and causal.

She opt to do the same towards her team.

Rosetta (Rigor)

Felt a little unsure, Rosetta opt to follow all of your orders to the tee when she first join your team.

Seeing how demanding and strict you are, Rosetta thinks that settling in Babylonia wouldn't be too hard.

Because being a Forest Guard, she was use to the harsh conditions and expectations of the Artic Route Union. Hence, she believe working with you will be no different.

Although, deep inside she wishes she could find company to be with, if she were to stay in Babylonia for a long while.

Out of everyone, Rosetta wouldn't have expected to find company in you, the strict Commandant of Babylonia.

You went to find Rosetta one day to gift her a scarf you got during winter. "Hey, Rosetta, I got you something." you said.

She was a little shock to see you smiling warmly at her. At first she didn't know how to response whenever you talk to her in private.

Because you sound so different compare to when you are in the battle field. But she slowly opens herself up to you. Finding you company pleasant.

Rosetta likes to share her interests in childish games and animation. You decided to indulge her in her interest.

Needless to say, your kindness has earned you loyalty from Rigor.

... People always wonder, how you could have possible get on certain constructs' good side. There has to be some secrets. Was it programming? Bribing?

However, this conversation gets shut down quickly, because whenever these certain rumors get brought up a few certain constructs would be ready to prove them wrong.

#pgr #punishing gray raven #punishing eden #punishing: gray raven #pgr headcanon #pgr qu #pgr rosetta #pgr bianca

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pierrai · 6 months

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Hi! I have an Alastor request set in the modern au. How would he react to an ex s/o that started giving him the cold shoulder and reposting videos on tiktok such as 'getting my eyes checked bc im not sure tf i saw in him'?

What a strange request! This will likely be a bit shorter for as much as I desire to make everything a long fic, I would also like to start getting through requests quicker!! Thank you for the ask though, anon, I hope you will enjoy!

Character: Alastor Catesby Word Count: 1008 Scenario: Al's reaction to an ex reposting bad relationship TikToks Warnings: None

Alastor

Your break up with Al had likely been something you'd pondered for days and weeks before it actually happened. Al is someone who seems good from a distance and maybe can still seem good if you wilfully blind yourself enough to his bad side when you get closer to him, but ultimately, he's very difficult. He's attractive, fit, and occasionally fun to be around, but there's only so long the excuse of 'well, he's alright sometimes' held up against all of his misdeeds.

And those misdeeds were too many to count at this point. You only properly realised how much after you took the plunge and suddenly he was out of your life. There were so many, in fact, you wondered how on earth you managed to stay attached to such a man for so long.

He was rude, brash, petty when he didn't need to be, flirtatious with people who weren't you, occasionally possessive and weirdly grumpy about who you spent time with, then completely uncaring at other times and all together it just seemed like he wasn't someone you could be with long term.

It seemed like Al shouldn't be with anyone for a long time. The guy clearly had issues deciding what he wanted in life, and frankly, you were sick of being on the receiving end of his indecisiveness.

When you broke things off, he'd scoffed as if you were joking, and then when he saw you were serious, he asked if that was really what you wanted. He had the nerve to tell you you were making some huge mistake. That'd you'd be back soon enough and if you weren't, it was clearly your loss anyway.

His words had lingered for a little while when you left his place that day, but when you finally got home, you felt some relief. That relief only grew the more you didn't have to deal with Al anymore.

First he texted you. Then when you didn't reply, he called. You didn't want to answer that either. Hearing his voice might dull your resolve and you were certain you wanted him gone. No way his honeyed words would work in getting you back. Your final decision was to block him on most of the social medias you owned.

After that, your life was greatly improved. The stress of having Alastor around was replaced with sweet, sweet freedom. Even your friends noted that you were noticeably happier, and you revelled in the catharsis of suddenly being able to talk about all the small things that had irked you about Al all along. Your life was just better without him. Making fun of him went from something you'd been unsure about, to something you did casually with your friends.

He didn't feel that way of course. When you didn't come crawling back to him and instead blocked him in anyway you could online, he was thrown for a loop, staring at his phone with a scowl foul enough to make his annoyance clear to anyone.

He had never put to much stock in dating, and he hadn't really with you either, but he'd grown accustomed to your presence and when things ended with him on the losing side, he simply didn't like that.

Any way to get back at you would've been sweet, but eventually he just let that go. He gloated to himself that you'd blocked him because you were incredibly bitter. You knew how much you longed to be with him again but you didn't want to admit it, so you just blocked him out instead. Honestly, it was pretty pathetic.

And yet he still found himself absentmindedly stalking your profile every so often, only to be met with a blank page and the words 'You've been blocked' in bold white on his screen. You mustn't have wanted him to see how terribly lonely you now were without him as a boyfriend.

It was by chance that he'd stumbled upon your TikTok account. He had an account himself but he scarcely used it other than to occasionally like posts when he happened to open the app and get caught in a bout of mindless scrolling. His page had suggested he follow someone from his contacts, a mutual friend of both him and you, and then he'd found your tell-tale username amongst the follower list.

When he clicked your account, he was pleased to find you'd not blocked him. You probably didn't even know he had an account and who could blame you; Al wasn't the type for TikTok. Your profile was so terribly you that it made him smirk a little. You hadn't posted anything yourself but you frequently reposted videos, and what you'd recently reposted turned his smirk back into a deepening scowl.

'Getting my eyes checked bc im not sure tf i saw in him' was one repost. 'Me whenever anyone asks about my ex' was another. As Al scrolled further and further down your page, he'd keep seeing the same theme of videos. All videos jabbing at so called 'toxic' ex-boyfriends.

Sometimes you'd comment too. You'd never mention him by name, but you'd mention some stupid and vague (and probably made up) thing he'd done and a sleugh of people would back you up in the replies to tell you how lucky you were to have 'escaped'.

These idiots didn't know the first thing about Al or your for that matter. The more he scrolled, the more pissed off he got and the more he told himself he should be the one glad to be rid of you. You were clearly sad and bitter and lonely. Hah. He could get anyone he wanted, whenever he wanted, but you'd be stuck alone with only your stupid TikTok friends to keep you company. It was you who'd be suffering once you finally got out of your dreamworld and realised that.

Suffice to say, he stalked your profile for a short while afterwards, and when you'd finally gotten over your 'break-up' phase, he uninstalled the app entirely.

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anxioussweasley · 2 years

Note

Hii! I love your work!

I was wondering if you could write one about Fred??? I love him so much.

Can it be where its late at night, it can be after the war and he doesnt die. He is doing long distance with you and he facetimes you bc he misses you?

Broken Line

Word count: ???

Warnings: cursing? (maybe idk I don’t remember), mentions of war, injury, long distance relationship, nightmares. (It’s all very minimal) slight angst and fluff.

A/n: thank you for the request! This is the first thing I have written in a while, so I hope it’s good! I recently got a new job and have not had much time for writing but this idea was really exciting to me. I hope you enjoy! Also I’m sorry this is king of short.

He didn’t want to bother you. He really didn’t. It was 5am for him and he was surprised he had made it nearly all the way through the night but it was midnight for you and he really didn’t want to wake you.

You were currently staying with family in the states and the time difference had been driving Fred crazy for the past few months. Especially when he would wake up in the middle of the night from the dreams. Bloody fucking war, he thought. Not only had it sent you across the Atlantic but it had left him with a bad knee and an inability to sleep.

He didn’t want to bother you. He really didn’t. But he missed you, and he was tired and his brain would never win an argument with his heart when he was tired.

He hit the call button. The phone only rang once. You weren’t suprised to get the call. But based on your bed head and the grogginess in your eyes Fred knew you weren’t entirely prepared for it. A soft smile was on your face as you answered the FaceTime.

“Freddie?”

“Hey, love bug.” Fred didn’t mean to sound so distraught, but there was a heavy air to his voice you easily picked up on. Fred could tell by the way you sat up straighter and forced your eyes open wider that he had worried you.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just- nothings wrong, just miss you.” Your tensed shoulders fell slightly and that easy smile came back to your face.

“I miss you too. I’ll be home in a few weeks.” You were trying to be reassuring but Fred made a face that told you the wait was a few weeks to long. A few weeks. The mere thought of it was overwhelming and Fred felt nothing but defeated.

“I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I miss you is all. Wish we didn’t have to keep talking over the line like this.”

You couldn’t deny that Fred’s words hurt. “Do you- you don’t think we’re just waisting time? Like... we’re growing apart?”

Fred immediately looked guilty. “No! I don’t- I don’t think that. I just wish you were here. Wish I could wake up to you. Some nights are worse than others.”

“You had another one of your dreams?” It was more a statement than a question but you had grown so good at reading him you didn’t have cause to be unsure.

“Yeah,” Fred let out a sigh of surrender, “I almost made it through the night. Thought I could handle it without bothering you. I’m sorry I know it’s late there.”

You took a second to fully take Fred in. He had been pulling at his hair again, the ginger mess sticking up in every direction. His eyes were tired, though that was to be expected, but the dark circles under them were so obvious it nearly looked like makeup. He looked exhausted and you wished more than anything you could be there for him in person. “You never have to apologize Fred. Ever. You are not bothering me. I love you and I miss you just as much as you miss me.”

“That’s not possible,” Fred smiled slightly.

“You are such a romantic.”

“Yeah, right. like the time I asked you out after dropping a bucket of ink on you,” Fred chuckled.

“Or that time you accidentally gave me a fainting fancy and then failed to catch me and I was in the hospital wing for two days with a broken collarbone,” you added.

“I told you you were gonna fall head over heals for me,” Fred laughed, his normal smirk returning to his face.

“That I did.” You answered easily.

“I can’t wait for you to come home. I really miss you.”

“Just a few more weeks, and then I will never leave your side again. I miss you all the time.”

Fred smiled in acknowledgment. The two of you moving the conversation onto catching up. Fred told you about how the shop was doing after reopening and the rest of his siblings, you told him about America and your family. It was brief but light conversation and after Fred felt surprisingly like his normal self.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” You asked, brow quirked. Fred loved the expression, it was one he saw often from you and his love for it grew every time.

“Making me feel better... making me feel like normal.” His voice was soft and full of love, and gratitude, and heartache and the sound alone made you want to cry.

You didn’t know exactly what to say. It was such a loaded profession of gratitude. You couldn’t just say ‘no problem’ and call it settled. “I would give anything to make you happy.”

“Just talking does wonders,” Fred smiled.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“That’s not possible.” You repeated his earlier words, bringing a brilliant smile to his face.

“I’ll call you in the morning?”

“Yes, please. And please try to get some more sleep. I love you.” You answered.

“I’ll do my best. I love you too.”

#hp imagine #fred weasley #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley imagine #fred gideon weasley #fred weasley fic #fredweasley #fred weasley x reader #george weasley #weasley twins #weasleys #fred and george

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yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Text

all my fault

Request: spencer and y/n are married, and they’ve been trying to have kids, and then she finds out she’s pregnant. a few weeks into the pregnancy, she has a miscarriage, and at the hospital the doctor said it’s bc she had an abortion as a teenager, and it fucked up her it yet us. spencer didn’t know she had an abortion, and blames her for the death of the baby, and they end up sleeping separately for a while and they have to grieve by themselves. spencer ends up talking to emily about it bc of her experience and it has a comforting ending!

Summary: when reader has a miscarriage after trying to have a baby with spencer, and things about her past are revealed and leaves things rocky within their relationship.

CW: miscarriage, pregnancy, mention of abortion, spencer’s rly harsh at first, teenage pregnancy, mentions of surgery, a cervix condition that i kinda made up, depressive thoughts, negative self-worth, HAPPY ENDING. *please let me know if i’ve missed anything*

A/N: i’ve been working on coming up with a series, which i posted last thursday! i’m sorry i haven’t been as consistent with my schedule, this summer has really taken a toll on my mental health and school is about to start back up. i promise i’m not quitting writing, but my writing might become a bit more sporadic in terms of my posting schedule. i’m still not sure if i like how i’ve executed this piece, so please let me know what you think!

IMPORTANT A/N: this contains serious topics centered around pregnancy and abortion. reader end up blaming herself and it is a very triggering subject to some. if you aren’t comfortable with those kinds of depressive thoughts PLEASE DONT READ. i don’t want anyone to be triggered by my writing. your mental health matters. you matter. do not read if your sensitive to the subject matter, please!

———————————————————————

when you and spencer checked the third pregnancy test and saw those two, very clear lines on the stick, you felt an unbelievable amount of joy.

“oh my god,” you clamped your hand over your mouth, your eyes welling with tears.

“y/n…” he held his breath, holding your free hand with both of his own.

“you’re gonna be a dad,” you huffed out a laugh as his arms flew around you.

“and you’re gonna be a mom! we’re gonna have our own little family,” he cheered as he breathed in your scent, elated from the news he had hoped for since you said ‘i do.’

spencer had wanted to be a father since he met henry, you remember how attached he was to the child who wasn’t even his own. you hadn’t always wanted children, only when you were absolutely ready for them. now, you were more than ready.

your arms flew around spencer’s neck as his went around your waist. he dropped to his knees and began pressing kisses against a bump that wasn’t even visible yet, praising you and your body for carrying his child.

because it was so hard for you to get pregnant, spencer decided to baby you every chance he got. you didn’t do the dishes or sweep, you weren’t allowed to reach for high shelves or even step on a chair to do so. he was worried about you and the baby, so you let him. you found it endearing.

the perfect man that you married was so worried about the little bean inside of you, worried for your safety, that it drove him a bit mad. who were you to complain? each time he’d do one of the new little quirks like not letting you lift anything above 10 pounds, you just smiled to yourself and brushed it off.

being pregnant was something that you had lost hope for, in all honesty. spencer had been talking to a few friends who had adopted children prior to finding out you were pregnant. if this hadn’t worked out, the two of you were going to look into adoption.

spencer had planned your doctors appointment for 6 weeks after your last period. the appointment was in three days. and then the perfect outline you had for your future went down in crumbles.

you had been having pains in your lower abdomen, and you figured it was just because you were pregnant. you went to the bathroom like you normally would when you felt queasy, kneeling by the toilet in preparation for what was to come. only nothing came.

you decided to just go pee and get back to bed. there was a pain that wasn’t like you’d felt before when you were peeing, like someone had been pulling your intestines out of your body. when you looked down, you felt your stomach drop.

“spencer!” you cried out. “spencer, hurry!” you felt tears well in your eyes until he ran up beside you. his hand was on your thigh as the other one was trying to steady your shaking hand.

“what is… oh,” he looked in the toilet to see blood inside of it.

“spencer… what happened? i don’t know what happened. everything was doing so well and the baby-we just found out and now they’re-wh-what’s gonna happen?” you rambled out, unsure of how something this horrific happened so quickly.

“i-i don’t know, my love,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i don’t know. but we’ll go to the hospital right now, okay? we’ll get answers.”

you just nodded. you couldn’t speak anymore. you felt your throat closing in on yourself. you cleaned yourself up and got dressed. even looking in the mirror with spencer’s arms around you, you didn’t feel anything but guilt and worry.

spencer’s touch would usually be something to ease your mind and take away the thoughts of everything else around you. only this was something wrong inside of you. you were the problem this time. and you didn’t think anything could fix this feeling.

“let’s get to the hospital, yea?” you nodded as he held onto your hand, trying to ground you to himself as he guided you to the car.

you were silent the entire drive to the doctor. there was nothing to say. there was nothing to do. there was just… nothing. you were numb.

“hey,” he spoke up, “we don’t know what happened yet. there’s a chance it’s just a fluke, right? the baby might be okay.”

“what’re the statistics, spencer? tell them to me,” you ordered as tears flowed from your eyes.

“y/n…”

“tell me! why don’t you want me to know?!” you accused him, looking over at the man driving as he but his lower lip. “1 in 4 women who experience bleeding during a pregnancy are fine. 25 percent. the other 75 percent of people have either a miscarriage or serious complications. those are the statistics.”

“y/n…” he sighed, “it’s not your fault. you didn’t want this to happen. besides, there’s still a 25 percent chance that nothings wrong.”

“whatever,” you rolled your eyes and opted to look out of the window for the remainder of the drive to the hospital.

“alright,” the doctor entered the room. “we have the results from the test and we’ve examined the ultrasound pictures. i’m so sorry, but you’ve had a miscarriage.”

what were you supposed to feel? an overwhelming sense of sorrow? like a failure? like the one thing you wanted most in the world fell through?

“how-how did this happen?” you spoke through the tears. “we were so-we were careful. i didn’t lift heavy objects, i didn’t do repetitive motions, i just… we tried so hard to make this work,” you shook your head in disapproval, as if you wouldn’t accept the answer that had already been proven to you.

“there’s proof of an abortion when you were a teenager. there was severe damage done to your cervix that wasn’t assessed pre-pregnancy. now, we can repair the damage within the next two months, but it will still be difficult to become pregnant after the surgery,” the female informed you.

“then what’s the point of getting the surgery?” you scoffed, looking at spencer who was just staring off in space.

“while getting pregnant will still be difficult, maintaining the pregnancy is much more likely. the fetus would be more protected and secure after the surgery,” she explained with a pitiful smile, you couldn’t help but wonder how she could smile after giving you the worst news of your life.

“right,” you nodded curtly, allowing her to sense the mood of the conversation.

“i’ll leave you two be. i’m so sorry for your loss,” she gave the both of you a pitiful smile before exiting the room, the only sound audible being the closing of the door.

it didn’t feel real. it felt as though you were in a nightmare. only this time, you wouldn’t wake in spencer’s comforting arms. you wouldn’t hear the soft soothing voice of the man you love trying to calm you down. you wouldn’t feel the solace he would provide by merely being himself in your proximity.

the drive home was eerily quiet. there was an inkling of animosity between you. looking over at spencer in the driver’s seat, he had a dead look on his face, the only sign of previous emotion being his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. he didn’t even look like your spencer. he looked like a stranger in the drivers seat with a cold expression that you could barely read.

you knew this was something you should talk about. when the nurse came back in the room it was only to offer a few referrals go therapists that specialized in this kind of grief. clearly, any couple should talk about losing an unborn baby. but you knew that’s not what spencer was truly upset about.

you waited until you shut the door to your apartment before saying anything.

“maybe we should talk about it?” you whispered, not knowing how he’d react.

“about what? the fact that you’ve lied to me for our entire relationship?!” he wouldn’t even turn around to face you. “i thought we were in this together, y/n. we aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other - especially not any that just killed our child!”

“hey…” you winced at his words. “why would you say that?”

“that’s the truth! your choices when you were a teenager just killed our child! my child!” he finally turned to face you, and you wished he hadn’t.

“do you think i knew they would botch my abortion, spencer?! do you think that’s what i wanted?!” you stepped closer to him, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“i don’t know what you want anymore, y/n,” he shook his head, clearly exasperated.

“i want you. i want to get the surgery to fix my cervix. i want to grieve our child. i still want kids… with you, spencer,” you tried to ease the mood, calm him down. you reached your hand out to cup his cheek before he dodged your touch, afraid of touching you. “but you don’t want that?” you whispered so quiet, too afraid of the answer to raise your voice.

“i-“ he sighed and bit his lower lip. “i don’t know.”

“right. of course you don’t,” you shook your head before sitting on the couch, dropping your face in your hands.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed as he took off his coat.

“it means that: of course, you’re making this about you! it can’t be about us grieving our loss together like the doctor recommended?!” you peeked between your hands at the man you still didn’t recognize.

“maybe we shouldn’t grieve together since we can’t even have a conversation without getting angry at one another,” he tried to reason.

“the only reason i’m getting mad is because you’re blaming me for my baby’s death,” you spat back at the doctor before you.

“because it’s your fault!” he stood strong in his belief. “when you were a teenager, did you or did you not have an abortion?”

“i did,” you admitted.

“and the nurse said that in said abortion, they screwed your cervix up! if you didn’t have that abortion, our child would still be alive! we would be on our way to become happy parents!” he accused, rubbing salt in the already stinging wound. “it’s your fucking fault!”

“stop saying that,” you shook your head and dropped it back in your hands, trying to hide the tears that began to flow down your face.

“it is, y/n! i can’t believe you’re even trying to say this isn’t!” he chuckled, clearly getting under your skin.

“shut up, spencer!”

“i can’t, y/n!” he sat in the chair across from you before standing back up, too hyper to sit. “no wonder it was so hard for you to get pregnant.”

“spencer,” you begged him to stop, meeting his face with your teary eyes.

“y/n,” he stared you in the eyes, and you saw a glimpse of the man you loved for a second before he retreated to the bedroom.

you sat on the couch in confusion of what had just occurred.

when you were 15, you’re boyfriend was adamant about taking your relationship “to the next step.” you didn’t think you were ready to have sex, but you wanted him to stay with you. so, you gave in. it just so happened to be that you were one of the lucky girls that ends up getting pregnant her first time in spite of birth control and a condom. you couldn’t tell your mom about your pregnancy, she’d have your head on a pole.

so, you earned enough money from your job to get an abortion yourself. you went to a clinic and had your boyfriend’s mom come with you to sign as your guardian. was it smart to get an abortion that cheap? probably not. but you had no other choice. your mom had made it abundantly clear that if she caught you fooling around with him that she’d kick you out.

you were 15. you were young and still had to finish high school. there was no support system for you. you would’ve been on the streets with a little baby - not to mention the amount of debt you’d go into for just giving birth to a child in a hospital. it was the only choice.

and now you were being berated for making the only choice you even had - and by the person you loved most in the world.

you curled into yourself on the couch, laying your head on the arm and crying into the fabric. you released all of the tension and turmoil. you held onto the cushions as if it were the man that you wanted - no, needed to comfort you. because as much as you’d hate to admit it and try to fight those thoughts, part of you thought that spencer was right. it was your fault.

you fell asleep on the couch that night. you didn’t have the strength to get up to grab a blanket so you just sucked it up.

spencer didn’t sleep at all. he was used to having you curled into his chest, or himself on yours. he felt terrible about how he had talked to you, but he was too stubborn to admit anything just yet.

in the middle of the night he went out of the room to grab a glass of water. he saw you curled up in a ball, you head resting on the arm of the couch as you slept. it was the most peaceful you looked in the past 24 hours. but you began shivering as you slept. you were probably too exhausted to get up to do anything.

he went to the hall closet on a detour and grabbed your favorite, soft blanket and laid it on top of your body. after placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he went into the kitchen and made his glass of water before taking one more glance at you. you had snuggled into the blanket, pulling it up to your chin with a gentle smile that always appeared when he kissed your forehead as you slept.

maybe he didn’t screw up too badly, after all.

the next few days were spent avoiding one another. spencer couldn’t face you after knowing you had kept something so dire from him for the entirety of your relationship. you couldn’t face him after he made you feel as though it was your fault you lost your baby.

you would stay on the couch all day, barely eating or drinking anything while spencer would go out - only mentioning the library or the office to do more paperwork. eventually he just started sleeping at morgan’s house - probably because he couldn’t stand being around you.

you didn’t know how to grieve your baby, you were hoping that spencer might help, but that clearly won’t be happening. on top of that, you were worrying about your marriage. he couldn’t even look at you, how was he supposed to talk to you and sleep beside you?

a lot of times, it’s perceived that the only reason women were put on this planet were to have children - of course that’s a false notion, but it didn’t make it sting any less. your body had betrayed you. you had betrayed yourself.

it was only 12 days after spencer left when he came back home, if he could call it that anymore. once he walked into the living room, he saw you curled up in that same position on the couch. you had a blank stare that was directed towards the black tv. the only evidence that you were doing something was the empty water bottles surrounding you - certainly not enough considering he’d been gone for over a week.

when he entered you didn’t even flinch. your gaze stayed on the empty screen and your face remained vacant of any emotion.

in all honesty, morgan was the one to tell spencer he should check on you. spencer hadn’t told him everything about your argument, he knew he was in the wrong. but he was just so angry. regardless, he was here now, and it’s a good thing he was.

you hadn’t been taking care of yourself. spencer had morgan and savannah checking on him, but you had nobody. he only realized this when morgan pointed it out. and as upset as he was, spencer would always love you. your expressionless face only worried him more. your clothes had been changed from when he last saw you, but he doubts you’ve had a shower.

he stayed silent as he began picking up the empty water bottles from around the table and couch. you looked at him quizzically with furrowed brows.

“what’re you doing?” you asked, your chin already quivering as tears threatened to stream down your face.

“i’m trying to help,” he whispered as sensitively as he could, making eye contact with the most pitiful face you’d ever seen.

“i think you’ve helped enough,” you rolled your eyes before resuming your serious stare-down with the television. “you can leave.”

“no, i can’t,” he replied, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch while being sure not to touch you - he didn’t know if you were ready for that.

“you already did,” you brought to his attention, briefly looking at him. “just go.”

“y/n, i-“

“i don’t want to hear it! what’re you gonna say that could make me feel worse, spencer?!” you let the tears fall past your waterline. “i know it’s my fault. i know i screwed up! and i’m sorry! i’m so sorry!” you replied with far too much sincerity, the tears streaming down your face before he scooted closer to you, planning on wrapping his arms around you. “stop! don’t come near me!” you pushed his shoulders away. “it’s my fault,” you lowered your voice significantly before wrapping your arms around yourself.

he had called emily as soon as he got back into the bedroom. he knew she had previously had an abortion when she was a teenager, and he just needed to hear her side of it. part of him didn’t even expect her to pick up the phone.

“reid, what’s wrong?” she immediately answered.

“i-i think i need to talk to you,” he whispered in a hushed tone.

“right now?” she asked in a mildly concerned tone.

“if you can? the sooner the better,” he answered honestly.

“alright. you want to meet somewhere or just come over?”

“can i just come over? it’s really personal and i wasn’t sure who else to go to,” he began tying his shoes and hoping she’d agree.

“of course, come on over,” she replied in a worried voice.

“ok. i’ll be there in twenty.”

he quietly left the apartment, not before sparing you a regretful glance. he lost his child, but you also lost your child as well. he just couldn’t control his anger. and partially, he thought he was right.

how could you not have told him about something so serious? the second you had began having issues getting pregnant, maybe you should’ve been open about previous pregnancies.

“hey,” emily greeted before giving him a hug after seeing his teary eyes. “come inside.”

“thanks,” he sniffled before stepping into her apartment.

she guided him into her living room and sat down on the couch beside him. they sat there for a few silent minutes before he was able to work up enough courage.

“y/n was pregnant,” he whispered, barely audible if she weren’t right beside him.

“was,” she pointed out, already feeling as though she knew the rest of the story.

“she uhm-she miscarried two weeks ago,” he somberly admitted for the first time to someone else. “the doctor said it was because she had an abortion when she was a teenager that somehow ruined her cervix.”

“and that’s why you felt like you needed to talk to me?” she gathered, she was a great profiler for a reason but this was far more obvious.

“i was pretty harsh. i-i told her it was her fault,” he bit his lower lip as he grimaced. “i really rubbed it in, too.”

“spencer… “ she sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing. “you’re mourning a life, right now. obviously, that would raise tensions and emotions would be heightened. but… have you apologized? for telling her it was her fault?”

“no?” he replied after thinking about it. “i was going to do that today but she’s… she’s not in good shape. i’m not saying she needs to be perfect, but while i was at derek’s i can tell she didn’t take care of herself. she barely drank any water.”

“did you ask her why she had an abortion? why she didn’t tell you? did you ask her anything about how she’s feeling?” emily asked once more.

“no,” he cowered down, feeling even worse about the truthful answer. “i was just… selfish. i didn’t think about how she’s feeling. i just-i feel so bad now, seeing what state she’s in.”

“when i got an abortion it was because i wasn’t ready for a child,” she began to inform him. “i was a child, myself. how was a child supposed to take care of another one? my mother would’ve been disgraced. i basically had nobody there for me. i kept it a secret because having an abortion is so controversial. i knew people would look at me differently for making a responsible decision for my future.”

“god, i feel so bad,” he began to tear up himself. “i love her so much and i told her these horrible things.”

“make it right, spencer,” she gave him a supportive smile and pat his thigh before he stood up.

“i-i have to go,” he wiped the tears from his face before giving emily a hug, grateful she would listen to him at such an ungodly hour.

he quickly drove back home, where he decidedly belonged in the first place. he never should’ve left home. he never should’ve left you. you were his home, and he didn’t know how he could possibly lose sight of that.

“y/n,” he cooed as he entered the apartment once more. it was noticeably a bit more clean. the trash was taken out, the dishes were done, and your hair was wet from a shower - he assumed. “hey,” he smiled when he saw you sitting on the bed, cheeks still red and tear-stained with red, puffy eyes.

“hi,” you sighed as you brushed your hair, spencer sat down beside you.

“how’re you feeling?” you shrugged. “i need to apologize to you,” he admitted, placing a hand on your thigh. “i’m so, so sorry for what i said. telling you that it’s your fault that we lost our child… i-there’s no excuse. i was clearly upset, but so were you. what i said was so out of line, and i’ll never be able to express how sorry i am to you.”

“you’re right,” you shrugged. “it was my fault.”

“no,” he rubbed his thumb on your skin. “it was not your fault. i’m so sorry i made you believe that.”

“when i was 15 my boyfriend at the time pressured me to have sex. we used a condom and i was in birth control but i still-i still ended up pregnant,” you began, taking a deep breath before continuing. “i couldn’t tell my mom because she would’ve kicked me out, so i saved up some money and had his mom take me to a cheap clinic. she signed as my mom and i got the procedure done. that was the end of it,” you finished tears streaming down your face. “a few weeks after the procedure i started having pains in like my lower back, but i didn’t think anything of it. so… it is my fault. i shouldn’t have gone to a cheap clinic, but i couldn’t live on the streets with a baby and no way to clothe or feed them.”

“y/n,” he got your attention, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “you were a teenager who had no other choice, love. it’s not your fault, it’s the clinic’s.”

“i just… it hurts so bad, spencer,” you shook your head in defeat before he wrapped his arms around you. “not even just emotionally, my body physically hurts so bad. i don’t know what to do and i thought i lost you and i didn’t know what i would do without you because i didn’t think you loved me anymore because it’s my fault,” you ranted out, sobbing into his shoulder before he moved the two of you around the bed to lay down, you on his chest.

“i’m so sorry you had to go through that, and that you’re still dealing with the repercussions,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “but know that i’m not leaving you. i love you and nothing will ever change that.”

“there’s nothing we can do now,” you whined, clutching to his shirt as if he’d disappear once more.

“we can go to the recommended therapy. we can get that surgery to fix your cervix,” he reminded you, rubbing circles onto your back as you sniffled. “then, if you’d like, we could try again for a baby.”

“so you still want to be with me?” you whispered by his ear, clearly worried of the answer.

“of course i do,” he said as if there were no other option; there wasn’t. “i’m so, so sorry, love.”

“the reason i didn’t tell you is because,” you sighed as you shuffled on top of spencer, now sitting on his lap and facing him. “because there’s this stigma that comes with having an abortion - and i didn’t know how you’d react. i also didn’t know it didn’t go well in the first place, but that’s a different story,” you chuckled. “i’m sorry. i should’ve told you about something so serious.”

“you don’t have to apologize,” he brushed a strand of hair from your face. “that was from your past. this is our future, we shouldn’t get caught up on it and allow it to ruin this.”

you nodded, “you’re right. are-are you staying here, now? or are you going back to derek’s?” there was an obvious look of hope in your eye that spencer never planned on squashing.

“i’m staying here,” he smiled. “home. you’re my home.”

“you’re so cheesy,” you rolled your eyes as a laugh left your lips.

“i’ve missed your smile,” he pressed a kiss to those very lips, your smile not going away but growing even bigger.

“i’ve missed you,” you pointed at his chest. “please don’t leave again.”

“i won’t. ever again,” you held your pinky out, he smiled and wrapped his own around it. “i’m so sorry.”

“we’ll work at it,” you sighed. “we’ll build back the trust and fix my stupid cervix and then maybe try again for a baby.”

over the next few months spencer and you had been going to therapy once a week, mourning the loss of your baby and working through your other issues.

five months after you found out about the miscarriage, you had the surgery to fix your cervix.

one year after you fixed your cervix you and spencer began talking about having a child. you were extremely nervous, rightfully so. you voiced your concerns to spencer about what if the surgery didn’t work? what if your cervix wasn’t the only issue? and he replied by reminding you that you would both take this one step at a time.

seven months after having the conversation with spencer about having children, a miracle had caught up to you.

you were pregnant.

taglist:

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#tw pregnancy #tw miscarriage #tw abortion #tw abortion mention #tw depressive thoughts #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer #spencer reid angst #spencer reid comfort

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