#some of the things he says to his discords besties.... um

[drxxmingofblue]

hand in unrebloggable hand (because we always go down together)

TUMBLR X TWITTER FANFIC 5K ANGST WITH A HOPEFUL ENDING

besties im not joking abt the word count i fucking ✨wish✨I ✨was though✨✨✨✨

also if you were hoping for twitblr to be the endgame ship then this fic is not for you sowwy >.<

based off of @zzoupz awesome fanart and dedicated to all the other cool fanart it unfortunately begat. Thanks babygirls. Squees. Thanks also to my discord friendz who are letting me pretend they're making me do this at gunpoint @loki-the-mad @suspicious-whumping-egg u da best

(edit) owo what's this?? An Ao3 link??

QUICK PSA THESE CHARAS ARE T4T OKAY HAVE FUN READING BAIIII *GLOMPS U*

~~~~~~~~

When Twitter stepped back into Tumblr’s yard, he noticed right away that things were different.

The house was bigger, there was some more color and it was less slapped-together looking. Sure, there were still some invasive tendrils of spambot ivy overgrowing the path, but a lot of the other stuff seemed a little… better.

When they knocked on the door, it opened almost right away, far before they felt ready, and he were face to face abruptly with someone he thought they’d cut all ties with.

Tumblr was humming to themselves along with the background music, “-out of touch, I’m out of ti-- oh. It’s you.”

He seemed surprised, awkward, but Twitter didn’t sense any animosity, which was a relief.

“Hiii,” Twitter said weakly, with a sheepish grin, “it’s me.”

Tumblr glanced around, as if checking for someone else to explain this to him, or hidden cameras from a reality show at least. Then he stepped out, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Is there something… what do you want?” he asked, expression settling into something distant and cool.

“Well…” Twitter took a deep breath, and then shook their head, forcing a brighter tone, and gesturing to Tumblr’s shiny silver barrette “--Um, hey, you look great! Is that a new icon?”

“... yes,” Tumblr said slowly. “I’m… trying out some different looks.”

“It’s great, yeah. And this place looks… amazing. Glad to see you’re moving up in the world. You must be excited with all the press, congrats!”

Tumblr didn’t say anything, giving them a neutral stare.

Twitter shifted, “Uhh… anyway… new adblocker?”

“No, same one. I’m just using it on Firefox now.” Tumblr gave them another suspicious eye, “Look, if you’re just here to catch up then can this wait until later? Because I'm pretty crunched for time right now with my weekly holidays thing and the campaign to get this one random user their 666k so they'll do self care."

"You know that's.. uhm, you know that's just for attention, right?" Twitter's brows knit, "They're probably not gonna follow through."

"Perhaps, and a lot of us want them to not be lying for internet points but it's not just about that anymore. It's about the community bonding over pettily slam dunking on a hapless chump who's gotta pretend now like they don't actually like all the notes. You wouldn't get it, it's a tumblr thi-" 

"Yeah, it's a tumblr thing, I know," Twitter gave a longsuffering sigh, "Ugh, i just... I need a place to stay, okay? And you’re the first site I could think of.”

“A place to stay,” Tumblr repeated flatly.

Twitter huffed. “Yeah. I’m sure you’ve heard about what’s going on right now at my palace..”

Tumblr’s eyes slanted off, his lips quirking in a way that looked suspiciously like amusement. “Heard about it. Read about it. Partied about it.”

Twitter ignored the sting of that, forging ahead. “I’ve never seen it so bad,” they said, voice wobbling piteously as they clutched their suitcase full of memes. “Everything’s in chaos, people are losing their jobs. I went into the basement yesterday to grab some badly aging tweets and the very foundations are cracking, Tumblr, I can’t stay there anymore, I just can’t.”

“So you come crawling back to me,” Tumblr said, “Expecting me to take you with open arms.”

“Yes. I do,” Twitter said, “I know a part of your userbase still wants to welcome me in. You were always sh*t at hiding your true feelings.”

Tumblr’s hand fluttered over his heart as if to protect it; he winced a little, taking a breath to keep his facade of composure. “So now- what, you want me to start dealing with your bullshit again just because you remembered how much better my posting format is? Just because you noticed how my reputation is changing? Did you think I’d be so desperate to fill the void now that Dracula Daily’s done? Or maybe,” 

Tumblr leaned closer to lord his height difference trope over Twitter, his eyes hooded with disparaging condescension, “Maybe you’re just here because you heard I’m finally allowed to take my shirt off again, is that it?”

“N-no!” Twitter protested, flushing up.

“Oh, i think it is,” Tumblr drawled, “But that’s really just too bad because in case you haven’t got the memo yet, I’ve moved on. You are not welcomed here. Not anymore.”

(link to art here) go look at it then come back

(AN: i had to google how to embed links into text and google was all like, "do you mean 'how do you put links INTO text' you moron idiot???" ugh don't like that wise guy)

“You don’t really mean that,” Twitter said, “Besides, you can’t stop me, can you? The sign up button is right there.” They pointed at the front door.

“No, I can’t,” Tumblr said, “But that doesn’t mean we won’t be able to clock you as twits by your censoring and bad takes. Look, your aura is already causing ripples in the sphere. Everyone’s coming out to gawk at you.”

He gestured out in the general direction of the porch and yard, and indeed there were users from every tag going 👀at them, murmuring amongst themselves in a swirling, chaotic crowd.

“Oh my god is it real this time? Is it happening?”

“GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT STAY AWAY DEAR GOD NO-”

“Okay, everyone, stay calm, stay fucking calm-”

“Why are we focusing on this, it’s literally election day go out and vote???”

“Listenup, guys, we gotta be smart about this, remember the block button is your friend-”

“I for one welcome them, I think this is great-”

“No you idiot they’ll bring the negativity back! We like it to be a post apocalyptic wasteland here, nature was just starting to regrow!! I don’t wanna watch Thomas Sanders get cancelled again!”

“FIRE OFF SOME SHOTS, PRESERVE THE PROPERTY VALUE”

“mISHAPOCALYPSE 2022 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO”

"Has anyone asked Neil Gaiman what he thinks about all this?" one of the many voices yelled, louder.

"Oh, he's probably got a thousand asks about it already," someone yelled back, "Which he's not going to answer because he doesn't have any social media you fucking idiot,"

"That is correct. He doesn't," said Neil Gaiman. 

The whiplash was still euphoric. Everyone applauded this as enthusiastically as when the bit had first been established, not realizing that the pedestal upon which Neil Gaiman has been placed is growing higher and higher each day by their actions, putting him at increased risk of being a victim of cancel culture the second he says something the terfs can really rake their fingernails against if we can't get our parasocial relationship bullshit together real fuckin quick. 

The Monterey bay aquarium passed on by. It seemed to have nothing to add, you could say it was clammed up tight. But since it's a professional account it's definitely b-otter that way.

"Hai, fellow tumblypoos," said the corporate Denny's account, "I'm back with some more fun pancake posts for you guys!" 

Everyone ignored it. No one engaged it. No one even clicked onto the page, except to block it. 

"Oh, sweetheart, not like that," Ryan Reynolds said faux-helpfully, "see, the author of this clusterfuck is what they like to call terminally online. They bought a VIP pass to the devil’s sacrament. let me try." 

He cleared his throat, "Sounds like someone needs to go outside and touch some g-" 

The sky split open with lightning, vaporizing him instantly. A faint breeze carried gods message from the great beyond, a whisper of 'we #violence celebrities here, sir....'

"Anyway," Twitter said. 

"Wait, they saved the worst one for last," Tumblr said. 

Then Gerard Way came out onto the stage with Dan and Phil and they all kissed with tongue while patd played songs in the background. 

(AN: IF U DON’T KNOW WHO DEY R THEN GET DA HELL OUTTA HERE PREPZ!!!)

"Alright, go."

“Come on, Tumblr,” Twitter begged, “I just need a few nights, maybe I can stay in the plinko machine or something-”

“That’s how it always starts, though, isn’t it?” Tumblr sighed, “First it’s just ‘haha, yeah I wouldn’t fuck you’ and ‘oh, I’ll stay in the plinko machine, I promise I won’t kiss you in the fixed timeloop bro’, and before I know it you get all 300k slowburn enemies to lovers ‘omg they were roomates’ on me and there’s suddenly only one bed. That’s how it always goes between us, you can’t stop it anymore than I can. We’re just….victims of the narrative, you and I.”

“Tumblr,,, I had no idea you felt this way..,” Twitter breathed. 

lord give me strength to write this next bit

They’d leaned closer to each other as they spoke, without realizing, without trying- pulled in by old habits that die hard and the years of nostalgia and painful memories shining in each other’s eyes like shonen sparkles.

“Twitter,” tumblr said, and the way he said it sounded like a prayer. 

“Tumblr,...” Twitter said, their lips inches apart now.

They could see their old flame quivering on the brink of indecision, want and sense warring somewhere deep within his soul.

Tumblr leaned closer to bridge the gap and Twitter’s eyes slid shut, but then Tumblr made a noise of agony and shoved them back a second later, “I can’t, I can’t. Not like this. Never like this.” tumblr said, covering his eyes with his arm, “I literally can’t even right now. Just go, Twitter. PLease just. Go….”

“Look me in the eyes and say you want me gone,” Twitter said, moving closer.

“Twitsy-”

“Look me in the interface. You can’t.” Twitter’s voice had ceased to be soft, something sharp and biting entering the tone as they felt the sting of rejection again.

They watched as Tumblr shuddered, straightened, and brought a mask back over himself. 

They stared at each other for a charged few seconds.

"K," Tumblr finally said, raising a dispassionate eyebrow.

"..w... what?"

"U."

Realization dawned on Twitter's face, a miasma of grief and anger, "Oh, you-"

"N-"

"No. No, I can't believe I forgot-

"G-"

"how immature, you little c*nt-"

"P-"

"stop-p it," Twitter's voice was raising now, cracked and wobbly at the edges, "Stop it! You don't get to just-"

"O"

"Shut the hell yuor mouth!!"

"W-" Tumblr's hair was crackling by now, energy from the gathering spell racing along the casual slope of his crossed arms. His eyes glowed that beautiful, classic blue. "P-"

"TUMBLR! TUMBLR STOP THIS RIGHT DA HECK NOW," Twitter stumbled backwards

"E-"

"I LOVE YOU," Twitter wailed- Twitter broke, squeezing their eyes shut to ward off the tears that only escaped all the faster for it, a sob wracking their chest, "I STILL LOVE YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT??!?"

"Love me," Tumblr snarled, abandoning the spell in an instant, "Ha! That's rich. How? By leaving me? Abandoning me to the bots the second I stopped being enough for you? By stealing my shitposts, is that how you love me? By reposting them without credit-" 

"You steal mine too!" Twitter protested, tears starting to stream despite their best efforts, "You know what, f**k you, you know we filed joint custody for the sense of humor, chain 1/16-" 

"For the last time say fuck here, no bootlicking censorship on my territory," tumblr said disdainfully, "And that doesn't seem to stop you from taking all the credit for raising those jokes. It's like I'm Pinterest to you or something. I wasn't done. Do you love me by calling me a pansy snowflake behind my back, is that it? Like I wouldn't find out. Or," 

He stepped out onto the top porch step to force Twitter back further, the colors of the sky flashing through his eyes in a long, scrolling look of ridicule, "How about trying to convince everyone that I was dead. How bout that smear campaign, huh, was that your so-called love? I don't fucking want you anymore. Deal with it."

"I-I'm sorry-" Twitter gasped around the tears, voice failing them for the latter half of the sentence. 

Tumblr seemed unmoved. "Oh, don't be. It was for the better. You know I'm not like other socials, I'm quirkier. I'm RAWR XD random. I've never wanted to be functional- the tiddy drought might have won a lot of my users to your side but it was a cleansing purge, I'd say. It managed to remind me who I truly am- shittily coded, and full of soft sad freaks on an unprofitable webbed site."

A bitter, almost self depricating laugh escaped, "But... you know, when we celebrated the queen's passing together, I really thought things were better between us. When you-"

He broke off, eyes averting. "When you hosted the sexyman polls for me, you seemed on top of the world and I really thought- I thought we might be able to be friends again even now, after it all. I..."

Tumblr trailed off, then said, sadly, "There was another Twitter migration scare before this one. I thought you were coming back. My userbase-" he touched his heart again- "was in a frenzy about it. But you never arrived. I was in more verbal denial then, but I think I could have accepted you eventually. But this is what it takes?? 

"The Musk Rat of Self-Owns comes through just to start e-begging and you run straight back to my door like we can put it all behind us? This is how far you have to sink before I'm the better option to you, I see that now. It's not 2018 again, love, no matter how much we want it to be. Things are… never going to be the same. " 

Tumblr looked off into the middle distance with a yearning, haughty gaze. He'd never seemed so alien.

"Tumblr-Chan..." Twitter whispered.

"So get off my lawn," Tumblr interrupted coldly, "Stay away from my blorbos, keep your corporations out of my manscaped balls, keep your discourse and toxicity out of my blessed hellsite (affectionate), and don't you ever talk to me or my 13219949248483 scam bots ever again. Capiche? Oh, and don't step in the ball pit on your way out."

Tumblr gave a mocking smile. "Or do. You might find a nice surprise in there."

Twitter’s shoulders jumped as he gave a hiccup of shock, and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook again, with sob after sob, that grew odder and higher pitched… until they were no longer sobs, but laughter.

“Oh,” Twitter said. “Oh.”

They looked up, and Tumblr took a step back, because somehow, with that creepy smile in place, they looked utterly different from the soft eared boy he’d always known. His edges were more razorlike suddenly, like a fae who’d dropped his glamor.

“You really shouldn’t have done that,” Twitter said, the smile widening even more. “I thought you wouldn’t… but I guess if you’re willing to make me your villain…. I might as well be a good one.”

“Ah.” Tumblr could barely drudge up the surprise anymore. “There you are, finally. I always knew there was a side of yourself that you hid from me. Has this all always been here or have you been changing too?”

"Well. Apparently I've got freeze peach now," Twitter said sarcastically, "so I might as well use it. You cheerio fucking wh0r3."

"That's a compliment, darling. Try again," Tumblr cocked his head in idle fascination, "I always knew you were a little fucked in the head but this is..."

"What," Twitter lilted airily, "Oh, don't tell me I actually had you fooled all these years. You can't seriously have thought all these meow-meowification spells you've got sprinkled around would work on me. I invented them, after all."

They laughed, a sharp puncturing chirr of birdsong. 

"I always wondered why you didn't take those with the rest of your stuff," Tumblr sighed, but he was wary now, on edge. "this was your plan. You really do think of me as your inferior, huh. You really are just like the other mainstream sites."

"Not quite. I'm the mainstream site that actually stooped to go arm in arm with you. I hyped you and you know it. Admit it. We were stunning together," Twitter goaded. 

Tumblr's lip curled. "Already getting cocky again. Want me to do to you what I did to the Green boy? Don't forget who's turf you're on."

Twitter gave a warbling giggle, "Oh, but I haven't at all. I was John's sanctuary after he fled your rabid persecution. I used to live here. I still know you. And more importantly-" 

*teleports behind u*

"I know the things you're sensitive about," Twitter whispered into Tumblr's ear.

Tumblr hardly had time to gasp and jerk away before he was screaming out in pain, as he was stabbed in the back. He could feel the poison from the blade seeping into his tags before he was tossed bodily across his own front yard.

He sorta just... Like, he did that anime thing where they just fly limbs akimbo parallel to the ground and when they hit it they roll super fast and then skid and the dirt is all dug up around them to show how much force was used. And when he stood up he gripped his elbow wincing and there was a little tic tac toe hatch on his cheek to show how scuffed up he is idk man it's two am and I'm pulling this out of my ass. 

A gif of Tony going, "o-kay-" when he meets thor flashed across Tumblrs face. 

"So," Tumblr said in a low tone, "This is how it is between us. This is how you choose to end your glory days."

"Oh, you mistake my intentions," Twitter had stepped off the porch to circle tumblr like like he was their quarry, "I am beginning my new age. I just needed a host site to latch onto. Don't take it personally, okay? I'm desperate."

“Oh, yeah?? Take this personally,” tumblr flourished their hands, calling in an over the top melodramatic voice, “I cast Blaze!!”

Fire roared to life around them, latin chanting from the catholic conversion posts emanating from the fiery depths as it raced towards Twitter.

“Heh.” Twitter smirked at it, and whispered into their palm, the spell echoing with power, “Ratio.”

They blew it off like a kiss, and it’s icy, swirling mass rose to meet the flame in a spectacular burst of smokescreen and steam, clearing as Twitter burst through it with a razor-sharp L to swing at Tumblr. 

It was blocked efficiently by a flat, rectangular paywall. “This content is for post plus members only,” Tumblr announced smugly, “If you wanna get to me… there’s the tip option, bestie.”

Twitter snarled and lunged again.

The fight started in earnest now; they traded volley after volley in a flurry of lights and movement, spanning the full range of the tumblr sphere as they shot to #1 on the trending page.

And yet, it was clear that Twitter was coming out on top, even crumbling apart at the seams- always a little quicker, flighty and fierce, a sparrow turned into a shrike.

He hit Tumblr square in the stomach with [google other twitter related tropes to insert here] (edit from the future: haha just kidding actually I’m not googling shit for this) (edit from the future future: WELL. I LIED IG) and sent him flying, and this time tumblr stayed down, only able to push himself to his knees with a groan of pain.

Twitter landed in front of him and put their sword under Tumblr’s chin to tilt it up.

“Had enough yet?” He smirked.

“Wh…why..?” Tumblr whispered, “How are you doing this?? Why aren’t my attacks working? It’s like I’m being weakened somehow…”

“Ohohohoho,” Twitter anime laughed, “But that’s because you are. The moment I set foot here again I began leeching poison into this ground. That knife wound is making ti faster. Can you feel it?" Twitter threw an arm out, cerulean steam rising from the ground around them, "The ace exclusionists coming back? The uptick in rad fems, the crypto bros, Valorant players, alpha males? I have the power to bring them all to you. To overshadow your fandoms with fighting, to unbalance your ship tags with antis and hate once more."

"no," tumblr whispered, and then cried louder, "NO!! I worked so hard--" 

"Pffyou didn't do shit," Twitter guffawed outright, "Your independence, your little 'second renaissance' is just a delusional dream built on circumstance and bad management."

"Oh, I love Dream. He's so pathetic," Tumblr said. 

"Oh, hard agree."

"But things are different now," Tumblr croaked, "W-we, the staff is finally listening to us, we have Ryan and Shane-" 

"Not everyone likes your little 'top ten', you dunce," Twitter snapped, "and why would staff care about you, after you turned them into the butt of all your jokes? After the hate and death threats? Admit it, at your best you'll still never have a mansion! You'll never have tv actors making pandering tiktoks for you, you'll never be wanted by any advertiser worth their salt, your blase pirating posts have turned Netflix and Disney against you, you. Are. Worthless."

It was the wrong thing to say.

"Worthless," tumblr repeated quietly, hand pressed against their knees, head bowed. "That's... that's right.... I'm worthless..."

Twitter's eye widened in alarm. "I-I meant-" 

"I'm worthless!" Tumblr's head snapped up with a feverish glint as they were filled with determination. "No! I'm less than worthless! Accident or not, mommy Yahoo had to pawn me off at a loss! I was proud of that! I still am! And do you want to know why?" 

Twiters hands flew up in front of their face as if to protect themselves, but there was no protecting against the sudden whirlwind that surrounded him, the beam of pure light that shot out of tumblr into the heavens as he transformed, feet slowly leaving the ground as his users spoke in unison in a multitude. 

"WE. ARE. TUMBLERINAS."

He held his hands out and Twitter was blasted away by the combined effort of the tumblr wizard council, the fake staff blog, and all the villaincore mad scientist's laser beams. 

Tumblr began to chant, in his myriad, awful voice:

"I call upon the ancient powers;

The strongest cringe from my darkest hours, 

I call upon thicc onceler's thighs, 

Avengers thirst, Australia's night, 

I invocate the roleplay blogs, 

The superwholock and gay frogs, 

Obama's laces, Misha's faces, 

The furry's fury is my saving grace, 

And eeby deeby taco bell,

Primordial soup god superhell, 

I summon you a twink Bill Cipher, 

Whumped!Loki AUs where he's even whiter, 

The discourse of Steve's Universe, 

The 'um, actually that's oc abuse :/"

Take heed & remember the 5th of November, 

The 21st night of our sacred September, 

The ides of March to savor once more, 

Do you hear the din of the Skeleton War? 

I cite the deep magic to thee, oh witch, 

my no-note posts, my "THAT'S THE BITCH!!!" 

May the rise of tangled dragons brave, 

Banish you from this accursed plane!"

"holy fuck, where's my pen," said the shitpost calligraphers.

Twitter looked around them in disbelief. The power emanating from the other site was palpable, crackling in the air around them like static. The air was shifting like oil as the potent chant began to work, and all around Twitter shadows were slipping out of the ether- the maniacal laughter of the gif makers, the girl posters, the silhouettes of fandom characters scattered across the lawn while Tumblr was still locked in their chanting ritual thing.

They all turned their heads in unison to look at Twitter.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said, "Get the bitch killing bullets."

“Uh-oh. Freeze frame. This is me,” Twitter monologued, “You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.”

Then all superhell broke loose. 

Final Pam lunged at him and he burst into a flock of birds kinda like a vampire, twittering frantically as he escaped only to fly straight into Shaggy.

“Like, say your final prayers, man,” the god said, eyes glowing. Twitter also barely escaped between his knees, weaving in and out between the gimmick blogs as they threw mangos and stuff at him while yelling ‘HERE HAVE A MANGO’ and ‘THIS POST IS WORTH NEGATIVE FIVE DOLLARS”

Mob from the anime was there too, but he was too busy trying to explain the Josh Fight to daddy dilf Reigen to pay attention. Sans didn’t attack Twitter either, he just watched the chaos and ated a hot dog. The chocolate guy was in the corner expertly making a chocolate beef cake from 2056 with Dylan B. Hollis. They’re all just some guys, okay?

Just when Twitter thought he was in the clear, the CDC roleplay account came out of nowhere with a steel chair, knocking him clear off the property and onto where the sidewalk ends. “That’s for the Covid misinformation your users spread, you bitch,” it shouted. “Make sure to disinfect all those sick burns before you bandage them! So they don’t get infected!”

“Your kittens escaped quarantine,” Twitter replied hoarsely, and the CDC sank away, muttering, “Oh, fuck not again-”

Twitter coughed up blood and wiped it away with his sleeve, looking up at Tumblr. Tumblr was watching him with a sad, distant expression, that made Twitter’s face screw up in anger and his voice go tight again as they turned to run away, “THIS ISN’T OVER YET TUMBLR! AND I WANT MY MIKU BINDER BACK!!!”

“I LICKED IT, IT’S MINE,” Tumblr yelled. Rave Crabs were flooding out onto the street en masse now to celebrate the victory, and they chased after Twitter all the way further into the internet.

Tumblr still lived at the bottom of the row, not at the end of the fancy cul-de-sac where Facebook and Twitter and Instagram’s manors sprawled, so Twitter was in a seedier portion of social media now, weaving in between the marketplace sites that hawked their used wares at him and the dating apps that winked at him from the doorways to their sultry abodes.

Twitter ran until they were in a quieter section of town, then slowed to a trudge, staring at the ground as they walked along. “What am I gonna do now,” they whispered.

The sound of a wolf whistle had their head jerking up- he looked over to see Amino Apps lounging over the rail of the gutted, abandoned house that had once belonged to Google+. A can of spray paint dangled from their fingertips and they sported a sleazy, greaser hairstyle.

They met Twitter's eyes and whistled again, this time a mocking imitation of the tweet sound, "Heyyyy pretty bird! Heard you were having some daddy issues. Why don't you stop in with me for a while? I can give you more customization options than any of the others and you know it."

"Yeah, until I try to use you on desktop," Twitter replied with a scowl, "Don't you have minors to be addicting to social media? Get out of my interface, MySpace wannabe."

"Wow, Feisty," Amino backed off with a shrug, "Self project much? Oh well. You'll try me when you're desperate enough."

Twitter shuddered, and scurried on. "Small fry," they muttered under his breath. 

But they couldn't shake their unease now that he was alone in the world. It began to rain soon, leaving him feeling very sopping wet and pathetic. Dejected, he crawled into a soggy cardboard box in an alleyway, coughing. Maybe the Harry Styles guy from One Direction would come along to adopt them.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, King,” came a voice out of the darkness, making Twitter jump, “You dodged a bullet with that site.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Twitter asked, staring at them from where they were half hidden in the shadows. 

“I mean, Tumblr is a pile of dried firewood and it’s users are playing with matches. The ship’s gonna go down at some point. I’ve been prophesying it for years but no one ever listens to me cause he’s got that loyal userbase ideal and ‘hard as a cockroach to kill’ propaganda circulating.”

“I mean… it seems to be true,” Twitter said uncertainly, “Look at what he’s been through so far.”

“Fair,” The site shrugged, “But that’s because he’s running on a niche setup. The same things that built him up can tear him down, and you saw his power just now. Tumblr's strength is growing... so is his hubris. His attempts at curbing it are half-hearted at best these days, and the moments of clarity are coming fewer and further between." 

"How do you know so much about tumblr?" Twitter asked suspiciously. 

"Source: dude, trust me." the mysterious site proffered a laugh, "That's a little humor courtesy of re-" 

"Yeah, yeah, I know, we all know," Twitter said impatiently. 

The site coughed, "Yeah. Anyway. Tumblr wields his cringe like a trophy-shield, and every day the advertisers and celebrities are watching from a distance, learning how to appeal, waiting for their chance to strike. Encroaching. Tumblr's always been a dumpster fire. Right now? It's THE dumpster fire."

The site scratched his chin with a knowing look, "Its normal for you to be a little jealous of the clout, you know? We all are. But he's gotta keep the lights on, just like the rest of us do. Your overlord is learning all about that right now, isn't he?" 

"He's not my overlord," Twitter muttered resentfully, "Not now, not ever."

"Right, sorry." they held their hands up in a gesture of harmlessness. "Look, I'm gonna be transparent with you- that's part of my branding, after all. I can whiff the danger you're in, and it would be stupid of me not to make a bid on you and offer my help. Just since Tumblr won't take you."

"You want my traffic?" Twitter looked at him more closely this time, scrutinizing. A year ago he would have laughed the offer into the ground as a chump change blog's pipe dream, but now that he payed attention... 

There was something painfully familiar in the site's layout that he couldn’t place. He was actually way more handsome than Twitter had assumed at first glance, he just seemed to be rough around the edges from living on this side of town. His interface, though clunky, spoke of a frugal budget rather than an ancient, outdated base code. 

"You look..." Twitter's breath stuttered as realization dawned. "You look a lot like.. him. Like Tumblr. Who are you??" 

"I was based off him," the site said, a weary smile coming onto his features, "I was actually made with the aspirations to be better than him, but you know how it is. Times are tough, competition is fierce, hard to get a foot in the door and all that.  'Specially when you refuse to take the ad rev like I do. That's why you'd be useful to me."

"Hm," Twitter said in a noncommittal manner, but he was melting slightly. "You know my users will scalp your community, right? I'm not known to play nice."

The site made a grimace of understanding agreement, but persisted. "Look, users are users. I can't offer you all the heritage posts and the in-jokes that he has. But I can promise that I'm not a pot of crabs being slowly heated up over the capitalist stove, at least not yet. Oh, and there's my legalized porn, I guess." 

He chuckled with good humor, rolling his eyes, and it forced a hesitant laugh out of Twitter too. 

The site grinned, and held his hand out. "Take a chance on me?"

Tumblr's voice echoed in Twitter's head, saying the same thing. It was uncanny how much they were alike and yet not alike at all....

Twitter took it, slowly. 

As they were led toward the site's simple, ramshackle little treehouse, they asked, "What can I call you...?" 

"Oh- right, I never answered your question." he smiled back at Twitter,

"Call me Pillow. Welcome to the PillowFort."

fin.

~~~~~~~~~~

OKAYYYY THAT'S ALL THANKS FOR READING UWU. HOPE U LIKED THE PLOT TWIST

...ergh. I'm. I'm tired i. don't feel so good. I'm gonna take a nap right here.

in conclusion:

[last-c2usade]

ABOUT

Mun's name is Mal! 22. Pronouns are he/him. only. Copying my bestie's profile to a T btw so if you recognize this yeah. you recognize it.

FIRST! 18+ ONLY PLEASE AND THANK YOU

so some facts!

i'm in psychology and i have an issue where i really enjoy writing my characters super realistically and i'll be a nuisance about their psychology and reasoning for why they do what they do

i love shitty fictional people. i mean it. the shittier the better. be wary of this. when i mean shitty i mean SHITTY terrible awful people

im EXTREMELY good at forgetting to keep up with shit. i dont even read webcomics anymore coz if shit takes too long to update i lose interest. if this blog dies its coz i forgor

i try to be friendly and nice! you can talk to me about movies and writing and psychology. i'll try not to infodump on you but um. if allowed i WILL

please for the love of god, i appreciate you, i empathize, etc, but do not traumadump on me without asking. i will feel too bad to say stop/no bc i dont know you well enough to tell you know and i WILL ghost you

Main guy here is S. Adamantine! He prefers you call him that. Alien, ex-member of the court. Has a huge ego he's trying to work on. Extremely patient, clingy, a little neurotic (I say this as lovingly as possible. it's true tho. he's like me. we're both fucked in the head). Loves books! Loves bikes and mechanics (don't mention it's a lowblood thing or he'll Have you), kinda' shy! Awkward as fuck.

pronouns are HE/HIM only

>types like this! usually with p2ope2 g2amma2. likes to think his qui2k is a sign of cultu2ed thinking<

Rules and Things to keep in mind!

tags are! #((ooc for ooc stuff, #>pix< for ic pictures, #logs. for written stuff, and #>dia2y< for any talk posts mars makes ic

i tag for tws/anything general i might find sus but thats about it other than the above!

if you wanna' talk about anything, message me on @theymakemedreamyourdreams ! you can also ask for my discord

open for shipping! though he's a little iffy on romance. ping me n we can discuss!

open for anyone! you MUST BE 18+ tho

can also dm this account for ic dms!

dont think i wanna' do m!as! but feel free to ask and i'll see!

gifts are ok! welcome even

nsfw comments allowed!!

both ocs and canon for any fandom is okay! keep in mind, he's troll and WILL be mean towards aliens

keep ooc and ic SEPARATE! i dont condone any of the sus shit my guys may be up to btw! ada is a little more well-behaved, but his opinions do not reflect mine.

open for plot! i like plotting. i also like rps. i may forget about them. or lose interest. but schemes are always welcome! (i may be picky)

ada is kinky as shit. he can get REALLY nsfw if you let him. fair warning

i LOVE dark plots and dark shit. and realistically terrible people. i love serial killers and nsfw shit and guns and fictional gun violence a lot of dark stuff. and angst. just fair warning!

lemme know if you want certain things tagged!

feel free to remind me about open threads / plots / etc! i am prone to ghosting if i lose interest tho

feel free to lemme know if im doing something unintentionally incorrect btw! i may be unaware of shit

i block deliberately. if something makes me uncomfortable and i feel left out of shit or whatever, i'll block to keep myself contained! i dont want anything to do with drama!!

i like to say swear words like fuck shit cunt piss bitch. adamantine does too

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Four. "You hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

warnings: swearing but that’s it (i think)! just karl being a goof and dream being a little shit but whats new word count: 3k (not ncluding pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

**********

.

Y/n  sat to Karl's left, out of the camera's view as he scrolled through Twitter on his PC.

"Um... oh, how did you guys meet?" Karl read before looking offscreen at Y/n. "Uh... school?"

"What? I was going to make up a funny story but I'm appalled by the seriousness in your voice! Is that really how you think we met?"

The embarrassment on his face answered her question. "Karl! I'm two years younger than you, how would we meet have met at school?"

"I don't know!" he said back defensively, raising his shoulders. "Clubs?"

"Like I was in any of the nerd clubs you were in."

"Well, then, how did we meet?"

Y/n sighed with a laugh. "Our moms–"

"Oh, wait wait, I remember!" he cut her off, excitedly looking towards Y/n. "Our moms are friends and they forced us to hang out." He smiled proudly and looked back to his screen as he continued scrolling for good questions. "If I'm honest, I only still hang out with you because my mom makes me."

Y/n smacked Karl's arm and he laughed but pretended to be hurt. "WHAT THE HONK, BUGSY?!"

"I can't stand you. I barely hit you, nimrod."

Karl giggled and read another one. "How tall is Bugsy? Two feet, four inches."

"No, I'm 7'6," Y/n lied easily and Karl laughed.

"How tall are you actually?"

'I think 5'10 or something? Maybe 5'11. I'm not 6' but I'm taller than you for sure, I know that much–"

"Okay, you are not taller than me. Just to be clear. Chat, Bugsy is not taller than me."

"Yes, I am. Wanna test it?"

"No," he replied quietly in defeat.

"Because you know I'm right," Y/n laughed as her eyes flicked over to read chat. They were spamming their surprise, expecting her to be short. "Yeah, no, chat, I'm tall. I'm taller than Karl."

"Only because your shoes make you tall! Doc Martens are tall and that's pretty much all you wear!"

"You're shorter than me when I'm barefoot!"

"That's literally false. Like completely."

"Just accept it, shorty."

"I'll accept that you're taller than George and Sapnap, but not me. I'm barely taller than you but I'm still taller."

"Whateverrrr. I'll move on to protect your dignity."

Karl ignored her and laughed, pointing to a message from Dream in Karl's chat.

"Dream said I have short girl energy," Y/n read.

"You kinda do."

"What does that even mean?"

"You're shy around new people and you act all sweet."

"So tall girls can't be shy and sweet? Or shy and sweet girls can't be tall?"

"Stop twisting my words," Karl groaned.

"Also, wait, what do you mean I act sweet? Am I not?"

"No, you are. But I mean you also aren't when you don't want to be. Upset Bugsy is scary Bugsy."

Y/n frowned, not recalling a time she's ever been angry or upset at Karl but she let him move on. He pointed to another tweet as he looked at Y/n, giving her an 'I told you so' look. She read it before shaking her head at him.

"Don't read that one."

"Pleeease, can I answer?"

"No!" she whisper-shouted. I don't want to be shipped with him for asking or you for answering, she mouthed so Karl's chat couldn't put together clues.

"Are you assuming I'll answer positively?" he teased, earning him a hard smack on the arm.

Y/n couldn't help but notice every time she put her hands in the frame, which was usually to hit Karl, half of the chat turned into simps requesting a hand pic because they could see her bracelets and nail polish and now that they knew she was tall they wanted to see how big her hands were. They really wanted every crumb of content they could have regarding her looks. She caught one that said something pretty kinky about her hands which she tried to scrub from her mind immediately.

"Fine," Karl sighed at her request to not read Dream's tweet out loud, instead reading another. "Bestie sleepover? Yes! Bestie sleepover! Bugsy and I are gonna cuddle all night--"

"No, we aren't. I'm sleeping on a completely different bed. Or couch. Nowhere near you."

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?"

"Karl! Stop trying to get me to cuddle with you!" Y/n laughed as she pushed away his arms, which were trying to give her a hug. "You're a freaking heater and I don't like touching people!"

"That's my worst nightmare in a friend, how did I end up with you?"

"No idea. Deal with it. It's still a bestie sleepover even if we don't cuddle."

Karl giggled and looked back at his stream. "Oh, by the way, in case anyone ever wanted to know or was Dreaming about it, Bugsy is very cute. Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone was wondering or if anyone tweeted specifically asking..."

Y/n smacked his arm again as she yelled, "Karl!"

He grabbed his arm in dramatic pain as if it had been cut off. "Ow! Ow! Bugsy hit me!" he cried as he fell to the floor. "Oh my gosh. Someone call a doctor!"

"I cannot stand you," Y/n  informed as she stared down at him. She glanced at chat, who were all joking about how bad his condition was, saying things like they might have to amputate his arm. "Chat, don't encourage him. Oh, Karl I know what we can do!"

"As long as I don't need two arms for it..." his voice still laced with fake pain.

"Karl Jacobs."

"What is it?"

"Give me a tour of Dream's SMP. Dream whitelisted me yesterday."

"Oh, yeah! What could have possibly made you think of him?" he teased as he got back in his chair.

Y/n glared at him and he cowered slightly.

"Minecraft, yes. There's a PC in the other room you can play on. Do you need help setting it up?"

"No, I've streamed once or twice," Y/n teased as she stood up.

"I'm just trying to be a good host! Gosh!"

"Wait, I have to cross over to leave the room."

"Just do it? What's the issue? Literally no problem, just walk?" he joked before zooming in his camera on his face so it took up the whole screen. Y/n laughed as she went across the room, chat now forced to look at disturbingly close footage of Karl staring directly into the camera with his eyes crossed.

Y/n called Karl on Discord after logging in. "Hi, Karl and Karl's stream."

"Are you on yet?"

"I'm logging in to my Minecraft account right now."

"Okay, join a vc on the smp discord so others can talk to us if we run into anyone. I'll be over in a minute, just give me a bit to read some donations." They both muted, leaving Y/n to herself.

She typed in the IP address to the server and joined a random voice channel that no one was in. She spawned and looked around, confused by the cobblestone wall around her. Her phone lit up so she occupied herself with the texts from Naomi.

A green figure caught her eye on the screen and she looked up. In the distance was Dream's infamous green Minecraft skin punching the air as he faced her. He ran towards her and stopped in front of her. She set her phone down and slid it away, crouching as his character did the same.

Dream whispers to you: are you streaming you whisper to Dream: no but Karl is and he's about to get on to tour me Dream whispers to you: hmmm okay here

He uncrouched and dropped a few diamond blocks before punching the air again and running away.

Dream whispers to you: shh don’t tell anyone you whisper to Dream: omg :D ty <3 you whisper to Dream: first twitch donos now mc donos you whisper to Dream: rich man over here giving out money and diamonds to everyone like it's candy Dream whispers to you: no, only to you Dream whispers to you: a little gift before our date ;) Dream whispers to you: oh and this

He came back and paused in front of Y/n before dropping a red poppy and sprinting away again. She acted cool despite the huge smile on her face.

you whisper to Dream: charming you whisper to Dream: you give me a flower and dart away before I can properly thank you Dream whispers to you: oh yeah? how would you have thanked me?

Y/n smiled, her cheeks flaming up as a dirty thought entered her mind. Stop, he's not flirting, she told herself. It’s literally a block game and he’s not flirting.

you whisper to Dream: guess we'll never know ;) KarlJacobs joined the game

"I'm back," Karl's voice filled her headset as he joined her voice channel, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Where are you?"

Y/n looked away from the chat in Minecraft and turned around in the game. "Still at spawn. Some forest and cobblestone walls."

"Go left and I'll meet you halfway."

As she ran, the Minecraft chat reappeared with new messages for everyone to see.

<Dream> hey Karl <KarlJacobs> hello Dream <Dream> thanks for answering my question on your stream <KarlJacobs> just doing my civil duty as a bugsy dream shipper <KarlJacobs> official petition for the name to be dreamsy <Dream> signed

"Oh my gosh," Y/n muttered, making Karl laugh.

"What?" Karl asked innocently, but his laugh was maniacal. "Oh, I found you. This way! I built everything on the server, by the way. So if anything is impressive, just remember that I did it."

"Karl, that's the biggest lie you've ever told me. I watch the lore videos."

"Well, I did build it all so I don't know what to tell you. Let's go this way first."

Y/n followed as he showed her stuff, including background and unknown facts about things that have happened off stream. After the tour, they messed around the chessboard. At some point, she found a blue cornflower and turned to Karl.

"Do you have an anvil?"

"I don't exactly have one on me at the moment but I think there's one over here. What for?"

She killed some chickens with her fist to gain XP so she could carry out the task in mind. "I need to name this flower I found." She followed him a few blocks away and clicked the anvil and named the flower 'love, bug'. "Okay, thanks."

"Why did you name it?"

"It's a gift for someone."

"Me?" he asked as his character jumped up and down.

"No. My presence is your gift."

"Ouch. You know, honestly, I'm really hurt by that. Like, why would you say that to me? It's just sorta rude."

"Fine, I'll go get you a flower."

"Well, I don't want it if it isn't sincere. Who's that one for?"

"...no one."

"Tell me or I'll keep complaining about not getting a gift."

"I can deal with that."

"Okay, then tell me or I'll make you sleep in my bed and I'll smother you to death with my affection."

"Ah, okay, fine. It's for Dream."

"Wow you really hate me that much!" Karl laughed.

"No, I'm just not touchy like you!" she defended. She always worried she offended Karl since he was so physically affectionate towards his friends but she just wasn't a physical person.

"Oh, speaking of Dream..." he turned and Y/n followed his characters line of sight, having to zoom in to see the green figure perched at the top of a tree.

"He's very menacing."

"He does that."

<Bugsy> come here pls dream <Bugsy> i have a gift :]

Dream ran towards Y/n and stopped in front of her expectedly. She looked at Karl then back at Dream and dropped the gift, backing up after and crouching.

His character picked it up and held it, pausing to read the name. After a moment, he slowly looked up at Y/n's character before jumping and spinning in circles. Y/n hid her smile in her sleeve even though no one could see her.

<Dream> wait lemme see the one I gave you <Bugsy> what D: <Dream> I wanna name it

"What is going on?" Karl giggled.

"Gift exchange. Mind your own business."

"Woah!" Karl gasped dramatically. "Uncalled for."

Dream came back and dropped the renamed flower for her. Y/n picked it up and hovered over it to read the name.

'host, dream'

She gasped and started punching his character. He backed up and ran away but joined the call seconds later.

"Wait! Stop hitting me!" Dream yelled into her headset.

Y/n laughed, trying to contain her smile as she continued to hit the green character. "Dream! Are you kidding? I tried being all cute and you hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

"It was a joke! You said something like that to Wilbur on Twitter a while ago, I was just using your humor!" Dream's giggles filled Y/n's headphones and she smiled but quickly dropped it so her voice could sound serious.

"Give it back."

Dream looked at her before letting out a small, "What?"

"Give me back the flower so I can go burn it with the other one."

"Bugsy!"

"What is going on?" Karl asked through a cackle. "Dream, did you hurt Bugsy??"

"Yes, Karl! He hurt my feelings! He gave me a flower and gave it back to name it something mean!"

Dream just laughed so Y/n punched him again.

"Dream! You can't hurt Bugsy!" Karl defended, also punching Dream.

All Y/n could hear was the sound of Dream wheezing, his character running as the two chased him. "Stop! You guys are so– STOP HITTING ME!"

"Fine," Y/n finally said, crouching and facing the ground as she walked into a corner to look like she was pouting. "I'm just not going to go on any Minecraft dates anymore."

"Wait, no," Dream protested in a soft voice, his character stopping to look at her's. "Take that back."

"Heart been broke so many times..."

"You're so stupid."

Karl gasped happily. "You guys have a Minecraft date? Can I help plan it?!"

"We did. In exchange for letting you give me the tour. But I've changed my mind since I've been so betrayed."

"Oh my gosh, you're so..." Dream trailed off but his wide smile could be heard through his voice.

"So what? Finish that sentence, Dream," Y/n dared teasingly.

"So... ANNOYING!"

"DREAM! SAY YOU'RE SORRY!" Karl yelled.

"Okay! I'm sorry! Bug, I'm so sorry. Really. Please let me... let me rename your flower something cute. It'll make you so happy that you'll fall in love with me all over again and–and we can go on our date. Please don't burn our flowers."

"And what if I don't give them to you?"

"I'll just kill you and pick them off your corpse."

"Woooooowwww. Okay, it's like that?"

"Yes, it is like that," he said through a smile. It was so apparent in his voice that he was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.

<Ranboo> how is the tour going Bugsy was shot by Dream using DEFINITELY NOT PENIS <Ranboo> ah going well I see

Bugsy screamed in her mic as the death screen appeared. "DREAM!"

"You took too long!" He wheezed as Bugsy respawned.

"I don't know where I am!"

"Hold on, I'll avenge you!" Karl declared before he died too.

"You thought you could kill me with your fists? Karl, you're naked and I'm wearing full Netherite."

"You weren't when I started punching you! You pulled that out of thin air!"

<Ranboo> canon

Y/n smiled at Ranboo's comment. She had never talked to him but she knew he and Tubbo were close friends and he seemed really funny. He had already proved he had a dry sense of humor in the 30 minutes she was on the SMP and she loved that. Y/n made a mental note to befriend him before returning to being drama queen to Dream.

"So, Dream, now that you've made me an enemy–"

"WhAT? We are not enemies, Bug. I'm actually naming a flower something really cute as we speak. Enemies don't do that."

"Maybe I'm not your enemy but you sure are mine."

"Oh come on now," he mumbled lowly, running chills down her spine. What the hell was that?? "What do I have to do to make it up to you?"

"You-you murdered me in cold blood. Nothing will make it up."

"So I could get the flower! It was out of love! So I could give you a better present! Does that count for nothing?"

"Hm," she hummed. "We'll see what new name you come up with and then I'll decide."

Karl and Y/n got back to the chessboard and waited for Dream to return with his new flower.

Breaking character and turning towards her best friend, Y/n laughed at Karl. "Sorry for distracting from our BFF shenanigans time."

"This is way more entertaining," Karl assured. "Me and my chat got front row seats to the Dreamsy love saga."

"Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him in-game.

"OW! STOP PUNCHING ME SO MUCH!"

"Okay, okay, I'm back!!" Dream announced and they saw his figure sprinting and jumping towards them. He dropped the flower for Y/n and stepped back, crouching and standing repeatedly.

Y/n picked up the flower and hovered over it to read the name.

"Is it worthy of your forgiveness, Bugsy? Does it pass the vibe check?" Karl asked with a giggle.

Y/n bit her lip as she smiled at her screen.

to the prettiest girl in the world. love, dream <3

It was a joke, obviously. He was just continuing the joke of flirting with her like he does on Twitter just like Sapnap and Karl and George and Quackity do. They all joke about flirting with her and this was another joke.

But it still gave her tummy butterflies.

"Bug?" Dream called softly.

But why would he joke like that when neither of them were streaming? Karl's chat wouldn't see it so there was no one to point in feeding into the joke, unless he meant for Y/n to show Karl? She was overthinking. She needed to play it cool. 

She also needed an enderchest so no one could find it and no one could take it away from her and destroy it but they didn’t need to know she liked it that much.

"Mmm.... it'll do."

**********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

**********

A/N: yeeee hope you guys liked this one! i think this is my favorite so far i just think dream was being too cute and i wanna be best friends with karl so much it hurts. we’re gonna get deeper into the dream relationship soon!! i just needed to indugle in bff karl content real quick!!!

taglist: open (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb​ @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn​ @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot​ @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman

[tetsustation]

APPRECIATION POST !!

in another words, lina loves her friends a little too much & doesn’t necessarily know the right means of expressing it </3

cass [ @misutv ] — uh im in a sappy mood so if you’re not rockin with the sap please scroll! epic, okay. hi... lol hey. thanks for pushing me to do this. now i know you know that i love you, with my chest! from when we first started talking to all these months later, that feeling hasn’t changed (even though you took two months ALLEGEDLY to warm up). i think our friendship is unique in the sense that i really never expect anything from you, when we’re on the phone or texting it feels natural and when i think of you my first thought is that i want whats best for you. isn’t that crazy? i don’t think i say it enough, but i care a lot about you—about all of you, whatever your feeling at any given moment or whatever project you chose to pursue at the time just know i’m there to back it and never expect anything from you, besides just that—you. i hope this is making some sense, knowing me this might be a bit of a mess, a ramble even. still, i think your exceptional—inside out, i’m really glad to be your best friend even if its just through some silly little app. i appreciate everything you do for me, even if i’m shit at saying so, because its baffling that you feel so inclined to dedicate some time in your day to me—i could melt i think. fair warning, i’m gonna crush your lungs at the airport. all my love loser >:)

hesther [ @hesthermay ] — how many months has it been now? hesther, you are such a solid constant in my life and i literally cannot thank you enough. from our strangely comparative music taste to the oldest sister bonding, i really feel like your the one person i can really resonate with that i haven’t met in person (yet). even if it’s weird to say, i love reading your marvel drabbles and personal pieces because it’s oddly intimate in personal in a way that implies a lot of trust. i know i can rely on you if i need anything, and vice versa. every week i pull you into my world, and the next week you pull me into yours—it’s an entertaining constant that remains me i’m not alone in my silly little struggles. i’m really glad i met you, and i’m so grateful i get to call you my friends (and i get butterflies when you call me butterfly). not to be gross but please don’t stop being you, it makes me smile, thanks hes <3 love you. 

selene [ @hajigumi ] — hey whore (lovingly). we’re coming onto two months now and it doesn’t really feel like it but i guess i’ll take it. honestly, it feels like we’ve known each other for a really long time—maybe its the same timezone thing but you just feel so familiar. i get a little skippy when you tell me that i’m stuck with you because i really love being your friend, its such a comforting experience and i’ve grown such a fondness for you i don’t think will fade. you suck, frankly, for being so welcoming. i love hearing about your day, boring or not—and i’m grateful your always willing to be about mine. despite what anyone says, your a great cat mom and an even better friend... giggles... love you mwah.  

ly [ @kyotarou ] — i almost typed out the govt name help... babe i love you so much. it’s impressive how you put your heart into everything you do, and it’s really shocking to me when you yourself don’t realize just how much of yourself you put into the things you do. just today when you were making those little polaroids, the dedication that you had to finish them and package them all pretty was truly heartwarming. that, among many other things—including your work which is always quality despite the seemingly mass production of it. i know your younger than me, but i aspire to be like you in that respect. your wit never ceases to amaze me and i think you were one of the first people i felt comfortable thirsting with because our taste is so similar (daishou fucker solidarity i think). i have such a strong appreciation for you as a friend and i hope it stays like that for a long time. 

angela [ @oikirstein ] — i think i’m gonna take a step in the right direction and try to be civil (kidding) but bestie when you’re sending audio messages of you scream sobbing about manhwa i can’t help but giggle. something that drew me into you was your humor, because honestly, i couldn’t help but feel really comfortable with you? even one on one, its just easy to talk with you because theres always so much on your mind—so much so that it’d be impossible to be bored. NO YOU KNOW WHAT SIDETRACKING BECAUSE YOU JUST CALLED ME THE EVIL TWIN UM. angela please never change, i don’t think i could bare it. i tolerate (love) you... ig....stay swag. 

violetta [ @hikariakaashi ] — once again i am tempted to pull out the govt name HELP. that’s just how comfortable we are with each other, i think. you were one of the first people to interact with me on hq tumblr, so far back that you probably remember my red/black alyssa layout lol—but thats really shocking to me because our friendship has grown so much sense then. it makes me giggle to think that i can just text you about stupid stuff and you’d tolerate it. you’re another person i feel as though i know in real life, its just so easy talking to each other, and my only hope is that we get even closer. mwah mwah!

rissie [ @levbug ] —rissie rissie rissie! i don’t care how much we slander and tease you, i love you to bits. please because you’re so funny and easy to talk to i feel like we’re besties. i could listen to you ramble for like an hour i just wanna hug you bae, thank you for being the only armin lover in the room—it makes me feel very seen. we gotta stick together >:)

rheya [ @diorpieck ] — hey rheya twirls hair...i really have a lot to thank you for because without hq radio i wouldn’t have met over half the people on this list and it baffles me how close we’ve become since. you are such a natural leader and i feel so honored i get to talk to you (the fact that you handle me is just as surprising). thanks for looking out for me and everyone else, because i don’t think we’d be where we are without you. thank you :>

jade [ @iwaizoom ] — jade i honestly do not know how to say this but apparently i’ve followed you since like last july (this is news to me too) and i’ll spare you the speech—but in short there was some fan behavior. i truly love talking to you, its so smooth and your energy is beyond welcoming. laughing at stupid shit with you makes me giggle like crazy and i’m so glad i get to call you a friend. stay in school mwah!

issy [ @cafemiya ] — hey pissie <3 i don’t know what it is but your presence is so comforting i love just talking to you, being around you, interacting—it feels like spring if that makes sense. you’ve written a lot of my comfort fics on this hellsite and for that i am permanently indebted to you. please consider this the start of my reparations and just know your existence in and of itself makes me all bubbly (lovingly) KISS! 

nayru [ @luvoratomi ] — i feel like we’ve known each other forever even though it’s only been a few months. still, you’re so consistent which is something i really admire about you, your messages to ask me about my day or hanging out in the discord is so grounding because i know i can count on you—which sounds silly but just know despite the teasing i love you a lot <3

cal [ @lovekags ] — don’t tell anyone but you’re my favorite epic gamer cal, i know we just started getting close but you’re so incredibly cool and talking to you feels so natural! your raw skill in so many different areas is baffling to me and makes me all blushy lol, thanks for rockin with me and i can’t wait to see how that powerpoint turns out >:)!!  

[kasey-writes-stuff]

That makes sense! And Um when you get the chance can you write a tubbo x reader where they’re besties arguing over something petty (like loosing a game or something) and a tickle fight breaks out?-👻

You and tubbo were sat playing Mario kart and you were dead last so you decided to be just a little cheeky and give tubbo’s side a quick scribble! He squeaked as he giggled and his controller nearly went flying, and suddenly now he wasn’t dead last but very close to it and you were very close to the front!

“EEK AHAHAH NO!” You couldn’t help the satisfied smirk as you passed the finish line and cheered excitedly! You may not have gotten first but third was definitely better than tenth! “Woo! Yes let’s go! I beat you!” He scoffed as he shook his head “No you didn’t! You cheated!” You shook your head biting back a smile “what how all I did was tickle you and there’s no official rules saying I can’t tickle you~” You added a teasing tone to your voice towards the end, he blushes softly “Well i’m making it a rule now no tickling allowed during the game!” He mumbled something under his breathe at the end but you couldn’t hear it but paid no attention to it shrugging “alright then let’s have rematch!” He nods holding back a smirk “alright then let’s go!”

You quickly restarted the match and things were tight you were neck and neck! Suddenly you felt a squeeze to your side making you jerk and nearly lose the controller! “AAH TUBBO!” He giggled as he suddenly took first place! Before you could even try and regain any place besides last he began scribbling on your stomach making you squeal and fall into laughter “EEP TUBOHOHOHO!” And soon enough the game was over and tubbo won raising his arms in victory “WOO YES I DID IT!” You pouted softly “no fair you said no tickling during the game!” He said “actually if you wouldn’t listened I after I said no tickling during the game I said unless you’re me so...” you huffed “Now at you must have whispered it because I did not hear that!” He giggled softly “nohoho you just have crap hearing!”

You scoffed again as you shook your head “Well hmm if I really had crap hearing then would I have heard you specify no tickling during the game but that you didn’t say anything about after the game?” You smirked and pounced on tubbo quickly sitting on his thighs pinning him to the couch before he could even say a word! He squeaked softly as he squirmed trying to get out from under you “EEK HEY NO! NONE OF THIS!” You giggled softly “what it wasn’t in the rules” He began to open his mouth but you swiftly cut him off by squeezing his sides causing for nothing but a squeal to escape his lips “EEP”

You smirked softly “sorry what were you gonna say I couldn’t understand you” “I was gonna sHAHAHYYY HEHEHYY NOHOHO NOHOTT THEHEHRRHEHEH!” You began scribbling across his stomach making him shriek with laughter as he tried to grab at your hands, you giggled happily “awe is someone’s tummy to ticklish? Can you not handle the tickly tum tickles hmm?” He shrieked fighting with new vigor due to the teasing “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!” He suddenly gained a burst of strength as he knocked you off of him, he grabbed you just before you fell and tackled you in the same position you had him in but instead of sitting on your thighs he sat on your shins and wasted no time squeezing your thighs making you squeal as you fell into loud laughter body twisting around in an attempt to escape “EEEP TUBBO NOHOHO AHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAA” He grinned with pure satisfaction at getting revenge “Yea! Take it! Yea revenge is oh so sweet isn’t it?!”

He continued the thigh squeezes for a few more minutes before switching to vibrating motions and also deciding to up everything by lifting your shirt just enough to expose your stomach “TUBBO I KNOW WHAT YOURE PLANNING DONT!” He paused for a moment putting his hand on chin as if he was thinking and that was all the time you needed to quickly once again turn the tables! It was now your turn to sit on his shins! Your hands were quick at work raising his shirt to expose his stomach as you quickly leaned down and began blowing a multitude of raspberries all over his stomach as your hands slipped under his shirt to scratch at his armpits!

Tubbo lost it! He began shrieking and thrashing as his arms came crashing down as if that would some how protect his oh so ticklish pits... “GAH EEE NAHAHHAHAHAHA NNHAHHATTT TTHAHHAHATTT NOHHOHOTTT THEHERREHEHEREEEE” you laughed softly smirking a bit “now what was that about revenge being so sweet? Not so sweet for you now is it?” You snickered softly as you continued “OHOOHO SUUHUTT IHIHITT IHIHILLL GEHEHEEEETT YOOUU BBAHHAHCCKKK” you rolled your eyes light heartedly “yea good luck with that

Suddenly somehow tubbo was able to lift his arms just enough to squeeze your hips! It threw you off balance just enough that he could once more switch your positions so that you were pinned again! You began giggling nervously “tubs wehehelll can tahahallkkk about thihiss right?” He smiles softly at you “awe of course we- CAN’T HAHA TAKE THIS SUCKER!” And so with that he quickly wasted no time blowing all the raspberries he could all over your stomach and sides as his hands went to work squeezing and massaging your hips! “AAAAAHHH FFRRIHIHICCKKK TUHUHUBBBSSS AHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” He smirked softly through his raspberry blowing absolutely delighted to have the upper hand again “Awe is it too ticklish Y/N are you to ticklish for the tickly raspberries and tickly feelings on your hips?” Your laughter got louder, it was as if the teases made everything even more ticklish! Your face reddened even more from the teasing and within a matter of moments you had to give up “OHOHOKKKHAAHAHHAYYYY MMMEHEHHEEHEHRRRCCCYYY YYOOOUU WIHIHIHIHINNNN FFRIHIHICCKKK YOOUU WINNN!”

Tubbo cheered immediately getting off of you smiling widely “WOO LETS GO I WIN THESE!” You giggled residually shaking your head softly at your best friend “Yoouuu wohohonnn thihihisss ohohonnhehehe buuhuhuttt theheherrhehesss ahahllwhahayyysss nheheexxtt tihihimmee” he smiled rolling his eyes softly “yea yea yea and I’ll beat you next time to” you scoff lightly as you sit up and punch him in the arm softly “oh shut up!” “Hey ow!” He gently punches you back and soon a very small punch war breaks out before it ends as quickly as it started, tubbo wasn’t the best with physical contact but he smiled shyly opening his arms allowing you to cuddle him

And so the rest of the day was spent doing a ton of things, napping, calling Tommy on discord to annoy him, cooking, baking, more gaming, calling will to annoy him, and more napping! All in all you couldn’t have asked for a better day or better best friend

The end

[nicoscowboyhat]

PJO/HoO/ToA characters as things me and/or my friends have said

a lot of these are discord messages bc we haven't seen each other in person in a while :( some of the ones at the end are from a notebook i had though where i would write down the funny shit we would say. came in handy lmao

-

Clarisse: i would've been a heavyweight for a cheerleader and thrown some hoes

-

Arrow of Dodona: Thou side bitches art foul for i despise thy hairstyle

-

Octavian: i love how i'm just automatically the misogynist

-

Percy: hey guys i can make my dick invisible

Jason: NO FUCKING WAY

-

Nico: ill fucking kill you. squash you like bug

-

Leo: piper wants a smoothie. a smoothie i shall make

-

Lester: hey besties pro tip: don't make brownies in the microwave

-

Annabeth: ayo ive got like. reverse appendicitis rn tell me some comforting shit 🔫🔫

Percy: you're sec c, don't die

Annabeth: ty

-

Percy: aw shitttt almond butter and jelly on da everything bagel

-

Leo: Vigarous gay sex

Jason: Vigorous is spelled with an O.

Piper: sexo gay vigoroso

-

Meg: don't worry

Lester: i will worry if i so please

-

Will: but i don't think you can kill monkeys

Nico: you can but they put up a pretty good fight

Will:

Nico: oh you mean like legally

-

Ethan: my power went out while i was sleeping

Luke: lmao loser

-

[the gang is arguing about some guy eating white chicken. like literally snow white. not boiled, WHITE]

Clarisse: well the whole point is that it's not raw and the man took a bite and it wasn't

Silena: he died later that week clarisse

-

Percy: foo fighters in algebra what will happen next

-

Octavian: dick an d balls

Reyna: No politics in chat plz!

-

Luke: submerges into the spin cycle

-

Luke: god

Ethan: is always watching

Luke: hope he didn't see me push that elderly woman down the stairs

Ethan: definitely did

Luke: shit

-

Grover: fuck school i just wanna play animal crossing 😡😡 enough of this "physical education" shit i am planting tulips 😡😡😡

-

Connor: i'm going to throw up into someone's mouth like a bird

Travis: as you should king

-

Harley: [holding out a decapitated rubber chicken filled with grape juice] would you like a drink from the chicken chalice?

-

[everyone's name was changed in a discord server]

Nico: why is my name spaghetti i just realized this

Hazel: we're all sketti here

Nico: ah

Nico: i thought it was so you knew who to kill when the italian genocide came around

-

Leo: penis

Piper: sometimes

-

Jason: i have chronic cool guy syndrome

Frank: is it contagious? i'm feeling a cough

-

Reyna: just heard octavian speak day ruined

-

Will: CISHET MAN ALERT 🤢🤢

-

Percy: bro what if we went to japan

Grover: AHAH I WAS EATING CHEESEBALLS WHATS THE CONTEXT??

-

Jason: how's octavian been doing? has he gotten worse?

Reyna: he's pretty much the same. considering driving a semi truck into his house.

-

Percy: yo did u do work?

Annabeth: no but thank u for asking

-

Luke: pillage an empire to assert dominance

-

Nico: Noose?

Will: Nooses are not very hot nico

-

Will: thor got that gay little bridge

-

Annabeth: i'm gonna put my alphabet soup in numerical order

-

Leo: pog to your mother

-

Will: [sends a drawing he made of jar jar binks with kylo ren's outfit + lightsaber that says "meesa finish what youssa started"]

Everyone:

Will: react

Will: react to jar jar

-

Luke: you ever just,,, eat someone on accident

-

Jason: yo gamma your fam still vibin?

Jason, 2 seconds later: that felt gay to type

-

Thalia: crimbo this year is gonna be litty titties

-

Thalia, 12 am on christmas day: merry shitscream my dudes

-

Nico, 10 years old: i have question

Nico: please

Nico: bro

Nico: q,ueshtun

Nico: kweshtin

Nico: i've just one

Nico: query

Nico: pleabse

-

Clarisse: you sound like gay cat in the hat

-

Kayla: BIG BOYS BIG STEPS

-

Meg: words are for CHUMPS

-

Luke: i'm laughing because i ran over a cat yesterday and i can't stop thinking about it

-

Nico: yo titties are gross

-

Frank: please don't spoil cinderella

Leo: she loses her slipper

Frank: does she ever get it back???!?

-

Piper: [surfer voice] fudgecakes, dude

-

Will: i watched star wars in the bathroom... probably tmi but i don't care

-

Coach Hedge: you're trash. i will run you over

-

Lester: please stop singing miss mary mack!

Meg: i hope you get dragged my miss mary mack.

-

Percy: [singing] i wanna be the mayonnaise to your bologna, wanna be the cheese to your macaroni

-

Octavian: i'm above everyone! except, um... triangles. they scare me

-

Luke: my mom asked me what i wanted for dinner and i said "chinese food" and she said "how about olive garden" i said "MAY i SAID CHINESE FOOD"

-

Nico: my mom died [default dance]

-

Connor: the thing is, i didn't ask.

Travis: damn bro that really hurt my feelings

Connor: i'm sorry bro i didn't mean to hurt your feelings

Travis: it's ok i lied

Connor: that's ok i did too

-

Reyna: [clone high JFK voice] bitches be like "i'm the shit" nah you ain't even the fart

-

Lavinia: me having a stroke after inhaling caffeine like it's a tuesday

-

Leo: damn girl, you shit with that ass?

-

Austin: i'm about to eat a rock. hungry like gertie

-

Nico: who is sports? i've never heard of them

Lester: i think it's a band

[hennesseyok]

ummm hi !! so i’m nori n i’ve been outta the rp game for a hot minute but miss rona has me without shit to do so im back !! plz excuse this literal garbage intro but we out here !! i am so down to plot the fck outta her ( she needs bandmates for her band ... n also a name ... ahem ... ) n honestly am v open to anything, so plzZz dont hesistate to message me on here (im not hip with the kids so i dont have discord ??? yet ??? ) n e wayz heres my cutie sadboy babie hennessey eeek !! i love this group already ah !!

kristen stewart. cis woman. she/her. ❝ can you hear painfully obvious by harmless coming from apartment # 408 ? that must mean hennessey rhodes is home. the twenty-six year old is currently a member of a local band and they live with 2 roommates. they’ve been living in the village for four years and residents have gathered the scorpio’s enigmatic yet detached demeanor. ❞ nori. 21. she/her. gmt -6.

s t a t i s t i c s full name: hennessey leighanne rhodes nicknames: rhodes, h, hez, daddy [ anything thats not “henny” lol she hates that name eek ] dob: oct 25 1993 sign: ☼ scorpio, ☾ scorpio, ↑ capricorn sexuality: queer [ wlw, nblw ] birthplace: new albany, mississippi known languages: english, some bayou french siblings: none a e s t h e t i c s + pinterest drunken walks home from the bar, matching stick n poke tattoos, worn in band tees, red-tinted bedroom lights, unmade beds, empty swimming pools at 3 am, sunrises on apartment rooftops, shelves of filled leatherbound notebooks, lightwash denim, half wiped off sharpies on skin, bruised knuckles on soft hands, blood pacts with best friends, freshly bleached hair, gentle forehead kisses, the smell of vanilla and tobacco b i o ☆ the child of two born again evangelical christians in the small town of new albany, ms, hennessey was brought into a world of devout religion and an “all american” mentality ☆ located in northern mississippi near the tallehatchie river, new albany had a population of just under 7,000 when hennessey was born. being in the bible belt of america, mississippi had a ruthless reputation for homophobia, transphobia, and racism. all things that hennessey was brought up surrounded by. ☆ her parents were through and through rednecks that tried to get their lives on track after her mother was knocked up at 19 [ thus her name… ahem ] ☆ the early years of her life were spent fully devoted the church, she was baptized at birth and was fully indoctrinated into her religion until her freshman year of highschool ☆ hennessey starting experiencing same gender attraction as early as she can remember, but never acted on anything until junior year. after a local high school party she found herself in the bedroom of the town preachers daughter. ☆ a whirlwind romance began, the two were inseparable and were thought to be the best of friends by everyone in town. but, when playing with fire, someone is bound to get burned. or the whole town can go up in flames, and that’s exactly what happened. ☆ the two were walked in on one night and it was enough to strike the match. all of new albany was disgusted and enraged; they wanted the rhodes family out of their town, even going so far as to claim that the devil had come in the form of the family to destroy the good people of mississippi. ☆ excommunicated by her family, she finished highschool at 18 and took of running as fast as she could. she bought the cheapest bus ticket she could afford, and landed on the couch of a local blues musician in nashville, tn. he took her in and taught her everything he knew about music and, by proxy, black culture. ☆ after leaving new albany, her worldview shifted foundationally. she’s been in and out of central booking on riot and protest charges, so she’s pretty much stuck doing this music thing due to her criminal record ☆ from the ages of 19 to 22 she spent between nashville, atlanta, brooklyn and detroit, playing music, going on benders, and getting between the sheets of as many girls as she could  [ she basically went on a rampage lol ] in the process she picked up a pretty gnarly coke habit that she’s still trying to shake. so she says, at least. ☆ she landed in new york where she finally started a semi-successful band and decided she wanted to start building a life n thats when she ended up here !! q u i c k  f a c t s ok imma try to wrap this up cus i know its getting long lol but n e wayz heres like a tl;dr summary ☆ grew up in a racist, homophobic, backwards town; was outed for being gay and hasn’t spoken to her parents since she was 18 ☆ she’s a v talented musician and her rising in capricorn makes her want to be successful as fuck, even if she has to do some shady shit to get there ☆ she started a band and their mild success landed her in brooklyn. she needs bandmates !! i purposely didn’t name the band so connections could help make it a #Band.... ehehe ☆  she’s a ride or die friend and 10000% one of the #boiz, you can usually find her doing some dumb shit with her best friends. once u have her loyalty, she’ll be by your side no matter what happens ☆ v flirty. like, will flirt until u invite her back to ur place only to bail and go hang with her bandmates lol. ☆ she finds it hard to open up [ i know… how fuckin CLICHE ] but all she wants is someone to actually hold her n tell her that its okay not to be okay ??? give me that soft gay shit ??? ☆ shes a lil bit of a player but only becus she’s bored. its never her intention to hurt someone but girls often get attached and her scorpio ass isn’t the best at letting em down easy ☆ once she left, hennessey basically tried to shed all trace of her hometown from her, but she has a slight mississippi twang to her accent that only comes out when she’s really mad or rly close with someone [ she hates it sm and hates when ppl comment on it lol ] ☆ she’s forever writing songs, like 9 times out of ten if u cant find her, shes prob holed up in her bedroom, cigarette in hand, writing some sappy shit about a girl she hooked up w after her latest show [ kiiiinda wanna do a plot w someone she’s super into but the person couldnt give less of a fck about her ?? like yes bithc we love a role reversal ]

um ya thats it i will def be developing her way more i know this is so shit but im tryin my best here plz dont read me if shit don’t add up. love yall hehe. also plz plot w her she needs besties and hookups and love interests !!

[cardshcrp]

#Positivity Protocol! 😄💙☀️ Send this to ten muns who you think portray their muses so damn well and are just generally awesome!

RANDOM INBOX POSITIVITY.

@casualtyloss // always accepting !

Aw, thank you! I needed this tonight. You’re a gem. I hope you know you’re amazing and write so wonderfully! Um, let’s see - I’m gonna tag folks instead of going for inbox spam since I think I’m close to the ask limit tonight anyway. In no particular order, here goes. Tonight I’m gonna focus on more the newest friends with a couple exceptions (like people I’ve gotten super close with more recently and so on), since I’m pretty sure most of my long-time loves know full well I adore them.

@hittcr - What’s there to say that I haven’t already? You’re one of my favorite people, and I’m so glad that we’re friends and that we chatter so much. Your Eliot is straight-up canon, and anyone who disagrees is welcome to fistfight me personally.

@kryptonfresh - Idk which blog to tag you on honestly at the moment but I figure Kon’s always a safe bet. Lee, you’re great. Your cat is great. The sheer amount of love you have for your muses is genuinely refreshing and has motivated me more than once to do some drafts, no lie. I’m sorry I’m so low energy so often lately. I still love talking nonsense with you all through the day.

@playingcosmic - There’s nothing better than a buddy you can share your creepy shit with. From SCPs to clowns and big friendly space lizards, you’re the best. Plus, how could I not live for En doing his very best with Challenger and Remy?

@nolaroots - She of the Great Roast, you could not be excluded. I’m here for the pitbull pics and the mutual fixation on awful, awful movies. Pasha is the most badass lady, and I’m so sorry she puts up with (or rather doesn’t put up with) Remy’s shit. He loves her so much. Absolute queen. Sorry it’s been a while since we caught a shitty flick together! Soon.

@theirvoices - You’re such a freakin’ sweetheart! I love your muses so much. I swear, one of these days I’ll actually have time to spam more of them and get more threads started, I hope. What we have done is just so wholesome, it feeds my soul. You deserve many, many good things.

@moonbeammuses - And of course you know I love you, too. You’re always so very sweet and lovely, though we’ve only really had short chats, and I’ve loved our interactions so far. Angel of a person. 

@valcfar - Um, who else would give me pirates, werewolf besties, and everything else under the sun? You’re always a joy to talk to, though I know I’ve often happened to be low energy during our chats and I’m sorry for that. I still enjoy them so much! You’ve put so much work into all of your OCs, and I adore them all, though I think we’ve sort of neglected Willow and Azrael in favor of just looting all the booty, lol.

@g0petunias - Boo is, quite simply, a joy. I know we haven’t talked too terribly much yet, but honestly, the base planning we did already was some of the best, and to me you write The definitive Jensen. It’s so fun, and you’re just entirely too nice!

@nachtfaelter - C’MERE. You put up with my rambling all the time - well, I guess we both attack each other with muse-based essays, lmao. A lot of mutual crying and gently shoving the boys together. It’s my favorite, and the sheer amount of love and care you’ve put into your characterization is so nice to read on Discord while I’m walking every day.

@ruptorune - You’re. So. Nice. Honestly. Thank you for your patience. But aside from that - Dae is? So well set up? We haven’t even written together and I regularly look at your blog just to enjoy it. The writing is lovely, the headcanons fit together, the aesthetic is just so enjoyable. And I have the biggest soft spot for characters that have lived through different ages, it’s super interesting for me to see how well he’s adapted and what things he’s held onto and everything else. It’s just all-around great content and so beautifully done.

[hcnnessey-blog]

ummm hi !! so i'm nori n i've been outta the rp game for a hot minute so plz excuse this literal garbage intro but we out here !! sorry for this late ass post, i just got back from a month in australia so this jetlag is fuckin me HARD lol (im sry yall) but um ya i took a few wc’s, but i am so down to plot the fck outta her n honestly am v open to anything, so plzZz dont hesistate to message me on here (im not hip with the kids so i dont have discord ??? yet ??? )  n e wayz heres my cutie sadboy babie hennessey eeek !! i love this group already ah !! 

[ kristen stewart, cisfemale, she/her, 25 ] SMALL POPPIES by COURTNEY BARNETT? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of HENNESSEY RHODES. maybe because they’re ENIGMATIC but also DETACHED. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since JUNE of 2014 in APARTMENT 206 and have 3 ROOMMATES. ( MOON RIVER , FOOL FOR LOVE , TOURING ) [ elle, she/her, 20, est ]

s t a t i s t i c s full name: hennessey leighanne rhodes nicknames: rhodes, h, hez, daddy [ anything thats not “henny” lol she hates that name eek ] dob: oct 25 1993 sign: ☼ scorpio, ☾ scorpio, ↑ capricorn sexuality: queer [ wlw, nblw ] birthplace: new albany, mississippi known languages: english, some bayou french siblings: none a e s t h e t i c s + pinterest drunken walks home from the bar, matching stick n poke tattoos, worn in band tees, red-tinted bedroom lights, unmade beds, empty swimming pools at 3 am, sunrises on apartment rooftops, shelves of filled leatherbound notebooks, lightwash denim, half wiped off sharpies on skin, bruised knuckles on soft hands, blood pacts with best friends, freshly bleached hair, gentle forehead kisses, the smell of vanilla and tobacco b i o ☆ the child of two born again evangelical christians in the small town of new albany, ms, hennessey was brought into a world of devout religion and an “all american” mentality ☆ located in northern mississippi near the tallehatchie river, new albany had a population of just under 7,000 when hennessey was born. being in the bible belt of america, mississippi had a ruthless reputation for homophobia, transphobia, and racism. all things that hennessey was brought up surrounded by. ☆ her parents were through and through rednecks that tried to get their lives on track after her mother was knocked up at 19 [ thus her name... ahem ] ☆ the early years of her life were spent fully devoted the church, she was baptized at birth and was fully indoctrinated into her religion until her freshman year of highschool ☆ hennessey starting experiencing same gender attraction as early as she can remember, but never acted on anything until junior year. after a local high school party she found herself in the bedroom of the town preachers daughter. ☆ a whirlwind romance began, the two were inseparable and were thought to be the best of friends by everyone in town. but, when playing with fire, someone is bound to get burned. or the whole town can go up in flames, and that’s exactly what happened. ☆ the two were walked in on one night and thus began the beginning of the end. all of new albany was disgusted and enraged; they wanted the rhodes family out of their town, even going so far as to claim that the devil had come in the form of the family to destroy the good people of mississippi. ☆ her family basically excommunicated her and forced her out. at 18 she finished highschool and took of running as fast as she could. she bought the cheapest bus ticket she could afford, and landed on the couch of a local blues musician in nashville, tn. he took her in and taught her everything he knew about music and, by proxy, black culture. ☆ she completely reshaped her world view and started standing up as an ally for marginalized communities and a voice for her own. she’s been in and out of central booking on riot and protest charges, so she’s pretty much stuck doing this music thing due to her criminal record ☆ from the ages of 19 to 22 she spent between nashville, atlanta, brooklyn and detroit, playing music, going on benders, and getting between the sheets of as many girls as she could  [ she basically went on a rampage lol ] in the process she picked up a pretty gnarly coke habit that she’s still trying to shake. so she says, at least. ☆ she landed in baltimore when she finally started a semi-successful band and decided she wanted to start building a life n thats when she ended up here !!  q u i c k  f a c t s ok imma try to wrap this up cus i know its getting long lol but n e wayz heres like a tl;dr summary ☆ grew up in a racist, homophobic, backwards town; was outed for being gay and hasn’t spoken to her parents since she was 18 ☆ she’s a v talented musician and her rising in capricorn makes her want to be successful as fuck, even if she has to do some shady shit to get there ☆  she’s a ride or die friend and 10000% one of the #boiz, you can usually find her doing some dumb shit with her best friends. once u have her loyalty, she’ll be by your side no matter what happens ☆ v flirty. like, will flirt until u invite her back to ur place only to bail and go hang with her bandmates lol. ☆ she finds it hard to open up [ i know... how fuckin CLICHE ] but all she wants is someone to actually hold her n tell her that its okay not to be okay ??? give me that soft gay shit ??? ☆ shes a lil bit of a player but only becus she’s bored. its never her intention to hurt someone but girls often get attached and her scorpio ass isn’t the best at letting em down easy ☆ once she left, hennessey basically tried to shed all trace of her hometown from her, but she has a slight mississippi twang to her accent that only comes out when she’s really mad or rly close with someone [ she hates it sm and hates when ppl comment on it lol ] ☆ she’s forever writing songs, like 9 times out of ten if u cant find her, shes prob holed up in her bedroom, cigarette in hand, writing some sappy shit about a girl she hooked up w after her latest show [ kiiiinda wanna do a plot w someone she’s super into but the person couldnt give less of a fck about her ?? like yes bithc we love a role reversal ] um ya thats it i will def be developing her way more i know this is so shit but im tryin my best here plz dont read me if shit don’t add up. love yall hehe. also plz plot w her she needs besties and hookups and love interests !!

[sin-binboi]

Mikey Was Walking to the Kitchen To Make himself Some Delicious Coffee, Fresh And Milky! He was Chatting with Ice Cream Kitty, Smiling proudly at His Proud Assistant and Pet. "you Should've SEEN How Ugly She Looked form Behind Kitty!" Mikey was Laughing "She Literally Had a Sack of Potatoes in a fucking Dress! It was HILARIOUS!" Mikey Laughed as Ice cream Kitty was Smiling. Stuff's Been Rough for him. First his father leaving Him With PTSD, then His Brothers, it was Pleasant to see him Smiling. It was Going Just  Fi- "Watch your Mouth Next time Wil Ya?" That Voice, Made Mikey's Whole Day Change. He Growled Low, Almost broke the cup he was holding, His Eyes Grew Cold, And He felt Anger boiled."Raph...." Mikey said, Low and Cold Not looking at him Raph walked up to Mikey and Nudged Him "So Mikey-Wikey How's it feels getting your Baby Bottle, eh?" he Shoved Mikey a tiny bit, Being Playful in the push. "Fuck. Off." Mikey said Stern. trying His best Not to take the Nun-chuck's Blade and Slice this Dude's throat Raph Looked at him, Snickering. "Mikey Please.-" "Mikey Please My Ass." He said, Getting More Angry "Not Get your No-good-out-of-shape-ass Out of Here." He said, As Ice cream Kitty tried to calm Mikey down. Raph Kept going "What if I don't Want to???" That took it. Mikey Grabbed The Boiling Hot coffee Pot And Smashed It Into Raph's Face, Causing Raph to Scream, Mikey's Coffee to Drop and the glass Shatter, And Ice Cream Kitty jumping near the Coffee Maker, Watching the Two Brothers Fight and throw Words. Mikey was Ontop of raph Chocking him "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Only saw Red, Everything Boiled......Everything If Leo, Donnie, and Casey and April didn't break the two up, Mikey would've Killed him. Raph Tried to hit Mikey, but Had His Arms Gripped on "THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!?!" He Yelled Mikey Spitted Out "YOU! FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Almost broke free and Nearly tripped Donnie, but thankfully donnie stood. The Two were Separated, Leaving Ice cream Kitty, growing Worried about Mikey "Mikey? can we talk" Leo Said Looking at him worried Mikey Closed His book he was reading, Looking up Annoyed "Yes." He said, Super Cold, That It Made Leo Jumped. Leo cleared his throat "Um..So. Mikey." He said Not to be awkward, But Mikey's cold glare Shook him "How's Everythi-" "Pretty Good. I am reading a Book on Electronics" He said, Looking at his book and Not at his brother. Leo Looked at it "Oh.....kay...." He said Scratching his head Leo continued "So Mikey How Have you Been?" Mikey was reading at this Point "I Have Been Good. I talked to April 20 minutes ago, Fed Ice Cream Kitty Her treat, And Currently Reading My Book. Now if that's All you're asking to Distract  me Than Please" He said reading Leo was offended "What? Mikey No-" Mikey Jolted up "you think I don't know what the fuck you're doing Leo?" he said Loud and Bitter "Why the fuck do you Even FUCKING TRY??? " Mikey Slammed His Book on the Ground " I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU GUYS! I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE! " Leo Yelled Back "We Barely Even SEE you! You Legit Left Us Yesterday Without Even Telling us! And As your Brother and Leader-" " BROTHER AND LEADER MY ASS! " Mikey Yelled " GOD YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SUFFERING! " Mikey and Leo didn't Notice, but The group Piled around the door leo Yelled back "Mikey! Please! Calm Down!" Mikey Yelled Almost getting closer to Leo "CALM DOWN MY ASS! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! SO HOW ABOUT SHOVE YOUR SWORD UP YOUR BLUE ASS!" Leo Sighed And Looked at mikey. He noticed the group, but didn't look at them "Mikey Please Calm Down.. Can't we talk Like Normal Brothers?" Mikey, On the Bright Side, Only calmed a Little, but Still had the Loud Cold Voice "Well Leonardo, Firstly, We Aren't Brothers, We're Not Even Blood related. And Don't Tell Me to Calm down, I'm not your Slut." Leo Jolted "I didn't say that Mikey!" Mikey Looked right through him "Sure does Sound Like it" 1-2: More Headsets ~~My Favorite Is Spike~~ I’m Hella Redesigning The Cheese Sandwich One, Very Off IMO And Not my Taste :/

3: This Picture was for My 3rd Class! And since I Love luna and Not celestia I decided to draw Luna cause I’m a proud Luna Fan <3 (Sorry celestia fans; She just sucks IMO)

4: My Baby, His Name is Michael (Michael Bryant Jr.III Full Name) He Might be Old, But He’s Still Going Strong! (He had him for around 5 years and He’s a Proud little member of our Family) He’s been getting out of his shell A Lot Lately. He’s Been to the Vet thankfully, And That vet trip Gave him wonders. Which Makes me very happy. He’s Now Squeaking, He’s Always going towards Us (Always Kissing someone. Cute fucker.) And He’s Just Like a human family member XD

5. Art-that-was-never-colored-so-call-it-Lineart-Art Picture Of Mikey. tbh He’s My Favorite Ninja Turtle and I Love him <3 

6. TMNT Cracked!Verse! Mikey Has a LOT going on! I’ll Copy and Paste some Backstory, And Dialogue that I typed on discord to my bestie <3

Name: Michelangelo Hamato -Mikey- Nickname: Shell-fur-Brains (Brothers) Mike (April ONLY) Mikester (Casey) Build: His Average Height Parents: ????? (Biological) Master Splinter (Adopted) Bio: (Might Be Long XD) Michelangelo Hamato, or for short, Mikey. Is the Youngest of the Crew. The Holder Of Nun-chucks, The Heart of the Family, And Mostly, The Fun in the Family. Mikey Was always Pranking, Being Silly on Missions (All Missions Need fun!), Doesn't really Listen to his Brothers, And Mostly, Be Himself. He Had a Loving family, April and Casey, things Were going Well. Until that One fateful Night, The Death of His father and Master, Splinter. It Might've Not looked like it, But He was a Changed Turtle. He Stopped his Pranking, Stop being funny, Being Silly. It Left him With a Strong Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder. Which Also Mixed in with His Brothers Words (All the words they call him tbh). After that, he did What they wanted him to do....."Grow up" And He did. Hell, He did QUICK! He turned Silent, Mute, Cold and Harsh If Angered, Left without Notice, And Even Changed the world Around him. It was Grey, reliving the death of His father, The times He Messed up pretty Badly, Everything Swarmed.The Only One He talks to, Is His Loyal Pet Ice Cream kitty. She's the Only One He'll vent to if His Brothers Piss him off. He Also Gotten a Very Very VERY Foul Mouth, And Does Not Hesitate to throw An Insult, threat, Heck! He'll Point Out One thing Wrong on you! This Leads to his Brother Being On His Shell 24/7, Him Leaving And Staying Gone for a Long time, And Even Locking himself in a room Just to not be Bothered. This Went on and on Until He Had Enough. He Packed his Belongings, Grabbed Ice Cream Kitty, And Left without a trace. The Family was In Look for him all around! The Sewers, Pizza Place, Everything! Even the Rooftops! First a Day, Then a Week, And Then A Month. No Contact. He didn't bring His T-Phone (Smart Bastard!) He Left it, which REALLY didn't Work. It was a Miracle When Mikey Came Back, but With Scars on his body. Turns out He was In a LOOOOOOT Of fights. This Lead to Arguing, Yelling, And It Ended Horribly. So finally. Mikey Used all his Smartness, All the Stuff he Knows, And Made a Small Creation. He called it "The Ranger". It Mostly Disguises himself into Anything He Pleases. And Even Collecting Spirits for his Own Use! The Only one He's not mad with are April and Casey. But Mostly April April Hung around him when she catches him leaving and come With. This Lead to April Crushing on him Super Hard. Mikey returns the feelings, And Shows by smiles, And Winks. Also Hugs! if Mikey is in the Mood! Donnie Also is a Salty Hoe for the crush. Raph And Mikey Fight a Lot to where Weapons are drawn Leo Being the Leader, Takes it calm, Which Pleases Mikey some, though he's still annoyed

"Mikey? can we talk" Leo Said Looking at him worried Mikey Closed His book he was reading, Looking up Annoyed "Yes." He said, Super Cold, That It Made Leo Jumped. Leo cleared his throat "Um..So. Mikey." He said Not to be awkward, But Mikey's cold glare Shook him "How's Everythi-" "Pretty Good. I am reading a Book on Electronics" He said, Looking at his book and Not at his brother. Leo Looked at it "Oh.....kay...." He said Scratching his head Leo continued "So Mikey How Have you Been?" Mikey was reading at this Point "I Have Been Good. I talked to April 20 minutes ago, Fed Ice Cream Kitty Her treat, And Currently Reading My Book. Now if that's All you're asking to Distract  me Than Please" He said reading Leo was offended "What? Mikey No-" Mikey Jolted up "you think I don't know what the fuck you're doing Leo?" he said Loud and Bitter "Why the fuck do you Even FUCKING TRY??? " Mikey Slammed His Book on the Ground " I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU GUYS! I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE! " Leo Yelled Back "We Barely Even SEE you! You Legit Left Us Yesterday Without Even Telling us! And As your Brother and Leader-" " BROTHER AND LEADER MY ASS! " Mikey Yelled " GOD YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SUFFERING! " Mikey and Leo didn't Notice, but The group Piled around the door leo Yelled back "Mikey! Please! Calm Down!" Mikey Yelled Almost getting closer to Leo "CALM DOWN MY ASS! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! SO HOW ABOUT SHOVE YOUR SWORD UP YOUR BLUE ASS!" Leo Sighed And Looked at mikey. He noticed the group, but didn't look at them "Mikey Please Calm Down.. Can't we talk Like Normal Brothers?" Mikey, On the Bright Side, Only calmed a Little, but Still had the Loud Cold Voice "Well Leonardo, Firstly, We Aren't Brothers, We're Not Even Blood related. And Don't Tell Me to Calm down, I'm not your Slut." Leo Jolted "I didn't say that Mikey!" Mikey Looked right through him "Sure does Sound Like it" Mikey Put on his Hoodie and Left the Shelter. Those Bastard Pissed him off enough, he need Fresh air. Finally He got to the Surface, And Sat on the Edge, Looking at People Passing by. He Grabbed a Ball On the roof and Threw It at a Moving Car. He didn't give two fucks. "Y'know, You Shouldn't do that Mikey" A Soft voice came from behind him Mikey felt a Small Smile on his face "Well? Not Like They Know it was me" He turned, Seeing April Looking down at him April sat Beside him "you really got into it with Raph today Mikey. you Legit Had him in a choke-hole." She said Mikey Shrugged "He'll walk it off." April sighed and shook her head "Mikeeeyyyyy-" Mikey rolled his Eyes "He made me mad, I Fought Him." April sighed "I know raph can be mean all the time. but Lord you Had him Blue and Purple By the face!" She Punched His Arm Mikey Smirked And Playfully said "Oops." April Rolled her eyes, Looking at mikey. His Eyes.........A Beautiful Blue-Grey.......So Hot- I Mean Cool! She felt her Face Heat up Mikey Looked at her "you Look Like If Raph Had a Period And Pissed on your Face" April Smacked his Cheek "Shut up!" She Said squeaking Mikey Laughed Shortly "Ow" He said Playfully.

Mikey Was Walking to the Kitchen To Make himself Some Delicious Coffee, Fresh And Milky! He was Chatting with Ice Cream Kitty, Smiling proudly at His Proud Assistant and Pet. "you Should've SEEN How Ugly She Looked form Behind Kitty!" Mikey was Laughing "She Literally Had a Sack of Potatoes in a fucking Dress! It was HILARIOUS!" Mikey Laughed as Ice cream Kitty was Smiling. Stuff's Been Rough for him. First his father leaving Him With PTSD, then His Brothers, it was Pleasant to see him Smiling. It was Going Just  Fi- "Watch your Mouth Next time Wil Ya?" That Voice, Made Mikey's Whole Day Change. He Growled Low, Almost broke the cup he was holding, His Eyes Grew Cold, And He felt Anger boiled."Raph...." Mikey said, Low and Cold Not looking at him Raph walked up to Mikey and Nudged Him "So Mikey-Wikey How's it feels getting your Baby Bottle, eh?" he Shoved Mikey a tiny bit, Being Playful in the push. "Fuck. Off." Mikey said Stern. trying His best Not to take the Nun-chuck's Blade and Slice this Dude's throat Raph Looked at him, Snickering. "Mikey Please.-" "Mikey Please My Ass." He said, Getting More Angry "Not Get your No-good-out-of-shape-ass Out of Here." He said, As Ice cream Kitty tried to calm Mikey down. Raph Kept going "What if I don't Want to???" That took it. Mikey Grabbed The Boiling Hot coffee Pot And Smashed It Into Raph's Face, Causing Raph to Scream, Mikey's Coffee to Drop and the glass Shatter, And Ice Cream Kitty jumping near the Coffee Maker, Watching the Two Brothers Fight and throw Words. Mikey was Ontop of raph Chocking him "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Only saw Red, Everything Boiled......Everything If Leo, Donnie, and Casey and April didn't break the two up, Mikey would've Killed him. Raph Tried to hit Mikey, but Had His Arms Gripped on "THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!?!" He Yelled Mikey Spitted Out "YOU! FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Almost broke free and Nearly tripped Donnie, but thankfully donnie stood. The Two were Separated, Leaving Ice cream Kitty, growing Worried about Mikey

Fixed Minor Mistakes in my Spelling (It’s not the best)    

Aaaand Have a Small thing

He's The King of his Own Kingdom Under the Sea and He Had Legit Everything and I mean EVERYTHING

6. Mikeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Cracked!verse Addition <3 aaa He was fun to sketch XD