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onemilliongoldstars · 5 years

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a crown seldom enjoyed - chapter 27

To maintain the fragile peace between north and south, Clarke of House Tyrell is sent to live in Winterfell as an act of faith between the two kingdoms. There, she is put under the protection of the first queen in the north, Queen Lexa of House Stark, Daughter of Wolves. A woman draped in steel and silver, wolves at her heels and rumoured to be a manifestation of the fury of the old gods; Clarke refuses to be awed be her quiet violence and cold smile. Instead of fostering unity, the meeting of the wolf and the rose lights a spark that spreads through the rest of Westeros, threatening to burn it to the ground.

27/33

clexa game of thrones au

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Book Three: Chapter 6

The south almost falls to ruin in the few days following King Finn’s death. Lexa is saddling a horse in the stables, her Queensguard working fervently beside her, when the bells begin to ring, a feverish, furious clang that stops them all in their tracks. For one horrifying moment she thinks that Pike has ordered the gates shut to kill them all, but a frantic stable boy stumbles inside, reeling from drink and fear and says, his voice garbled.

“The king! He’s dead!”

Later, Lexa is ashamed that her first thought is of the king’s new bride, but in that moment all she can do is stride across the stables and grab the boy by the shoulders to demand.

“The queen?”

The boy shakes his head, almost mute with fright. “Alive, but weak.” His voice drops, trembles. “They found her in the bed with him, covered in his blood.”

The stories have only grown worse since then, becoming bolder and more horrifying with each tale. There are many that whisper that Clarke was involved somehow, that her hands are covered in blood. Those with more daring mutter that the new queen should be deposed at least, beheaded at worst, but with no other obvious heir in sight they do not raise their voices. Others wonder whether the southern lady is cursed somehow, with the death of her father and now her husband looming over her like a dark cloud. For her part, Lexa refuses to leave now. She expects a fight from her Queensguard, wonders whether Anya will forcibly drag her back to the north, but instead she is surprised to find that her cousin only nods grimly upon hearing her decision.

In utmost secrecy, she sends two of her Queensguard north in the dead of night to order Aden to prepare for the worst, and has her own guard and that of Lady Tris doubled. She sleeps lightly, with a dagger beneath her pillow and spends much of her nights staring at the canopy above her bed, stifling in the southern heat, wondering whether Clarke too is staring at her own canopy.

In the early days that follow the killing of her husband, the kingdom is not wholly sure that Clarke herself survives. The Grand Maester will let no one in to see her, and only reports that she is weak from her injuries and distraught by her loss. They are left with only whispers and rumours, and Lexa feels like a trapped wolf, pacing the corridors as she waits to hear of Clarke’s condition. Several times she walks by the chamber doors of the royal suites, but Octavia Snow stands guard every time, her expression dark and she will not let even her queen past to see her injured lady.

By the third sunrise, Lexa fears Clarke has waited too long. By all accounts, Lord Pike is holding court in Tower of the Hand with the wealthiest and most powerful lords and ladies in Westeros. He terrifies them with talk of a land unprotected and overrun by enemies and refills their wine goblets until they are too drunk to argue with him. Though he has not yet said so publicly, Lexa is sure he is plotting Clarke’s deposal or demise and the thought of enough to curdle her blood.

For her own part, several southern lords and ladies even go so far as to court her favour in this time of unease. Some she knows well: Lord Marcus is welcome company, though she suspects his level headed and empathetic words would be best spent in Clarke’s support elsewhere; Lord Jonathon Tully, brother of Lady Abigail Tyrell, is a fair minded man with a blunt, easy manner, and the Princess Arianna is a surprisingly fervent supporter of her new queen. Many are frightened away by the wolves pacing at her sides and the dangerous expression that she so often wears when she is troubled, and for that Lexa is glad. As little as she likes waiting for word on Clarke, it is even worse to do so with southern prattle about her.

The sun is only beginning to paint the sky with its tangerine tones when a hurried knocking comes to her door. Lexa, barely asleep for more than a moment, wakes slowly and with heavy eyes, squinting through the darkened room to find Anya pushing open her door. Her hand, which had been groping for the dagger beneath her pillow, falls down, and she groans softly, rubbing at her eyes.

“What is it?” Her voice is slurred with sleep. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Clarke,” Anya hurries to light the candle beside her bed, ushering in one of Lexa’s handmaidens to stir the fire into life. Lexa shoots up at the words, her heart suddenly thundering, but Anya holds out a hand. “She is well, she is hosting her first audience.”

“An audience?” Lexa pushes herself from the bed with none of her earlier reluctance. She hurries to the carafe of water on the stand in the corner, pouring it into the waiting dish and hurrying to wash herself despite its frigid temperature. “At this time?”

“I expect she wants to say her piece before Pike does.” Anya intones, grimly.

Lexa is half in a daze as she allows herself to be dressed by her handmaiden, her hair pulled back into a simple braided crown, her real crown placed within the curls as she is urged into dark hose and a tunic embellished with fur and silver embroidery. Her sword is strapped to her waist, several small daggers slipped into her high boots.

When she steps from her rooms Honour, Sage and Valour fall into step beside her, their presence comforting at her side. The sun has risen as she’s been dressed, though its light is still watery. From the courtyard, she can hear the sounds of the city beginning to wake up, as merchants call their fresh catches and the hammers and anvils of the city’s blacksmiths groan into life. The servants of the castle are bleary eyed and startled to have so many nobles rushing from their rooms, and already the soldiers that man the city gates are having to open them for the few lords and ladies in the city who the word has reached.

With the wolves at her side and her Queensguard at her back, Lexa moves through the hustle and bustle with ease. People scatter out of her way, half bowing, still unsure of the protocol, and she doesn’t deign to meet their curious gazes. Instead, she keeps her eyes set on the doors to the Great Hall, which stand wide open to allow in the streams of nobles entering. As she takes her place at the head of the crowds, closest to the dais, Lexa feels the eyes of the south upon her and wonders how far Pike’s vicious rumours have spread. It is only the thought of seeing Clarke that keeps her in her place. If she weren’t so desperate to see the new queen, or so confident that Aden could handle the north in her absence, she would have saddled a horse that first night and fled this poisonous city.

The sound of horns pulls her from her reverie, and she blinks up at the dais as attendants step out. There are only servers and handmaidens at Clarke’s side when she steps out onto the dais, and she cuts a stark figure. Alone but for her attendants, she wears a dress so dark she appears white beneath it. A heavy chain is slung around her neck, and her golden crown shines open her head, but otherwise she is utterly devoid of decoration. There is something simple and mournful and strong about her appearance, and a hush falls through the waiting crowd as she makes her way to the front of the dais. Lord Pike, Lexa notices, is absent from proceedings. She wonders whether the hour is simply too early for him with his late night revellers, or if he refuses to acknowledge the authority of his new queen. Either way, she suspects it is what Clarke hoped would happen and she finds her own breath baited as she waits for Clarke to speak.

Clarke looks down upon them all, regal and stern, and when the chattering finally quiets she begins to speak.

“By now I am sure you have all heard what has happened to my husband and our king.” Another wave of murmurs runs through the watching nobles, but Clarke does not allow it to stop her. “I do not need to tell you of my grief, I am sure you all feel similarly. The king was a strong, wise man and he was my husband.” Here her voice breaks, just slight and when she pauses to draw in a steadying breath, there is no denying the way her eyes shine. Several ladies cling to their friends and husbands, padding at their eyes with handkerchiefs at her words. When she speaks again, her voice is strong and steady. “I would not assume to sit on our king’s throne without your consent,” Here, she seems demure and retiring. “But there is no immediate heir to take his place, at least, not yet…” She glances her hand over her stomach so briefly it seems instinctive, but Lexa knows in one heart stopping moment that it is as rehearsed as every other moment of this speech.

“My lady,” A lord bedecked in gold and black steps forwards, his dark brows furrowed. “Do you mean to say…” He pauses and flushes, “Did you and the king know each other intimately before his death?”

Shocked gasps and scorning looks follow his question, several ladies offer him outraged glances and touch at their cheeks and head, but many more eye Clarke with undisguised curiosity. From her place on the dais Clarke nods somberly, passing her hand over her stomach again in a gesture that is much more considered.

“I cannot say for sure, of course.” She raises her gaze and looks out over them, bathed in the light of the rising sun she looks ethereal, like the Mother herself. “But the king and I felt afterwards that there was some chance,” Her voice stutters again. “That’s why I- why I hid for so long when the assassin came. The king bade me to protect our heir.”

Another round of muttering follows her words. There has been much talk of how the king died, but to hear Clarke speak of it so frankly astonishes them all.

Clarke continues as if she cannot hear them. “Our king was a good and noble man, and if the gods see fit to bless me with a son, I know he will be just as good a king as his father was.” She looks out over them all and Lexa feels as if she could fall into her blue eyes. “I was not crowned before my husband was killed, but he did choose me to help him lead. For those of you who truly loved him I hope that that is enough to support my claim to the throne of the south.”

A gasp runs through the crowd and Lexa feels a prickle of fear run through her. It is a bold thing to say in her first audience since her husband’s death, and with no one else on the dais to show their support she seems isolated and vulnerable. A moment of silence passes as people exchange glances, but then Princess Arianna steps forward, unsheathing her sword, and she places her weapon at the steps of the dais, near Clarke’s feet.

“Dorne is with you, your majesty.”

Clarke looks down at her and when their eyes meet something unsaid passes between them, before Princess Arianna bows. Lexa eyes the dark haired princess with curiosity, she knows that the woman is only the daughter of the true Prince of Dorne, a man confined to the south by his many ailments, and she wonders what authority the princess has, or expects to soon have, to make such a pledge.

“King Finn was noble, as you say,” Another lord from the Stormlands steps forwards, grizzled and old, but he stands tall. “He chose you as his queen, always said you were good and wise,” He glances back at some of his compatriots. “I trust him, your majesty, and I trust you.”

Something close to a smile, but laced with sadness and regret flickers over Clarke’s face and she nods as the Stormland knights call their agreement and step forwards to lay their weapons at her feet.

One by one, more knights of the south make their way forwards. Among their like is Lord Marcus, who bows so deeply Lexa fears his nose will brush the ground, and the lords of Riverrun and Highgarden. Lexa says nothing, but her presence and unwavering gaze upon Clarke she knows are enough to show where her support lies. As a queen, she has no need to pledge her loyalty to Clarke publicly and regardless she knows that Clarke already has every part of her that truly matters.

“Thank you all,” Clarke says at last, when only those loyal to her remain. Enough have slipped away to be noticed, but the Great Hall is still crowded with eager nobles. “If the gods will bless my reign, I will sit the Iron Throne for you until someone more suitable is able to take my place.”

The waiting crowd let out a great roar of agreement at those words and Clarke bows her head, slipping away through the door at the back of the dais like she is made of mist.

The King in the South lies in state for three days and three nights before he is buried. His body has been cleaned up well, and there is still a boyish youth to his lifeless face that only makes proceedings worse. Still, when Lexa approaches to show her respects, she can see beneath his high collar the hastily stitched wound that ended his life. The city is filled with crying women and drunk men, and the city mourns for their king so fiercely one would think he had been upon the throne for years rather than weeks.

His funeral takes place on the fourth day after his death, a dismal affair filled with long sermons from the Septon and the ominous presence of the Silent Sisters. Clarke stands at the front of the Sept, close to her late husband’s body, and she appears drawn and tired, but strong. She is not yet crowned, but nobles still bow in her presence and the dark veil she wears is held in place by diamonds that sparkle within her hair and give the illusion of a crown. Lexa watches her as inconspicuously as she can, wondering at how she remains so composed and stoic. It is only the twitch at her lips and the corners of her eyes that give away her despair.

The day is unusually drawn and clouded, and when the rain begins to fall proceedings are cut unceremoniously short for the sake of the many people, nobles and smallfolk alike, gathered outside the Sept and in the streets. Nobles hurry back to the castle, eager not to get wet or ruin their finery, but Lexa lingers on the street. The rain feels good upon her skin and soaking into her hair, and her northern clothes are made to withstand much worse. The streets empty, and it is as if the downpour is cleaning away the filth of the city, leaving it open and fresh for the first time in years.

Returning to her rooms, she dries off at the insistence of her handmaidens, and settles beside the fire. The castle is quiet today, as people retire to their quarters to contemplate the lost king and what will come next. She calls for wine and food, but when it arrives touches little of it. There are letters from Aden, who assure her that all is well in the north and as there is no sign of secret code for an attack or danger she believes him. He is well guarded and has sent letters to families he knows are loyal to warn them to be on their guard, but with Lord Bolton dead Lexa wonders whether the head of their northern snake, at least, has been cut off. Other letters and scrolls remain to be read, but nothing interests or engages her. Instead, she is plagued by memories of the young king, and though she had not known or particularly cared for him she is saddened by his loss. She wonders what he knew of Pike’s plots, or whether he was simply a piece to be played with and manipulated. Her eyes go to the tapestry on the wall, from whence Clarke had once appeared as if by magic. The day after she had had Anya and her Queensguard help her manoeuvre a heavy oaken wardrobe in front of the hole, to ensure it was safe.

When her thoughts will not quiet she sighs and pushes herself from her seat. Her cloak hangs over clothes horse near the fire, but it is still a little damp when she swings it about her shoulders. Her sword at her hip, and Faith, Honour and Sage padding along beside and behind her, she steps out into the hall. Anya stands to attention at the sight of her, her eyes narrowing as she sees that Lexa is dressed to go out. Nevertheless, she falls into step behind Lexa and when they reach the end of the corridor she beckons two Queensguards to accompany them and leaves two more stationed at Lexa’s door.

The rain has lightened to a mist that hangs in the air, curling the stray tendrils of her hair. She had thought to walk to the library and find herself something more engaging to read, but her feet carry her past the library and across the courtyard towards the Godswood.

It is only when she has taken a few steps over the soft grass, slick beneath her feet after the day’s rain, that she spots the dark figure kneeling at the base of the heart tree. She pauses, her guard hesitating around her, and feels her heart constrict when the person turns a little to glimpse them and reveals her ever familiar profile beneath the hood of her cloak.

“Guard the entrance,” She tells Anya, quietly, and though her cousin’s eyes wander between the two of them, she doesn’t protest. The wolves stay at her side when she starts forwards again, Faith loping slightly ahead when she catches Clarke’s scent in the air.

The rain still hangs in the air like a fine mist, softening the sharp edges of everything. The low clouds linger, caught by the tall tree tops like a bird in a net. Like this, the rest of the world seems to shrink away from them, the city turns to white and they are suddenly alone together.

From where she kneels before the blood red face carved into the white bark, Clarke’s cloak pools like dark wine around her body. She doesn’t look up when Lexa lowers herself to the ground beside her, and around her the wolves settle their bodies like sentinels, Faith sitting at her shoulder. For some time they sit in silence and Lexa lets her eyes wander to the heart tree and the face of the old gods staring out at her from it. She remembers quite vividly the misty mornings spent sitting with her father before the heart tree in Winterfell, as he sharpened his blade and talked of the power of the old gods. She had thought of those conversations many times since his death, thought on all he had taught her, but she knows that nothing he said about the importance of war and battle formations will help her now.

“I saw him die.” Clarke’s words startle her, pulling her from her reverie, but her attention is immediately fixed to the girl beside her. Clarke has not moved, she still remains knelt before the heart tree, her eyes downcast. Lexa cannot pull her eyes away from her and she realises for the first time that Clarke’s hands are curled in the damp grass beneath them, twisting the stems until they break and turn her fingers white. The silence fills the air for a few moments before she continues, her voice low and toneless. “On the bed, when I first stepped into the room, he was dying.” Lexa says nothing, isn’t sure what sort of response Clarke wants. “I didn’t think to help him, I only thought of myself.”

“Clarke-”

“I lay on that bed with him for hours, hoping that he would wake.” The grass snaps beneath her fingers. “He was a good man, he deserved a better wife than me.”

“He adored you.” Lexa says, ever so softly. “That was clear to anyone.”

Clarke snorts, disdainfully, and her words crack. “A cruel trick of fate.”

“Clarke-”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

A beat of silence passes between them as Lexa tries to decipher her true meaning.

“I couldn’t leave until I knew you were alright.” Lexa shakes her head, finally, her voice low.

“That isn’t-” Clarke’s voice breaks over her words and she swallows heavily, but continues, as if she is worried that if she doesn’t speak now she will lose her voice entirely. “That isn’t what I meant.” There is a rough, guttural note to her words that makes them seem all the more forceful.

“Then what?” She is almost afraid to ask, afraid that she knows what Clarke will say.

“You shouldn’t be here with me, you shouldn’t be anywhere near me!” Clarke’s voice is rising, taking on a note of hysteria.

“No one can see us Clarke, my guards are posted at the gate and the wolves are here. We are safe for now.”

“Don’t be obtuse,” Clarke’s brows twist, somewhere between fury and anguish. “You think I don’t know what they have been saying about me? That I’m cursed, that all who love me die.”

“Clarke-”

“They’re right.”

“They’re not, Clarke,” She reaches out and clasps Clarke’s fingers within her own, pulling them from where they are tangling in the grass stems and digging in the dirt. Carefully, she encloses them in her own, folding around the cold digits like a parent swaddling a babe.

“How can you say that?” Finally, Clarke meets her gaze, and her eyes are deep pools of stormy blue, sad and angry and despairing. “My father, Thelonious, and now Finn… I loved them all in some way and now they are all cold in the ground.” A tremble runs through her at her words, and Lexa can feel it in her fingers. “I’m cursed.”

“No,” Lexa shakes her head, and she cannot hold herself back any longer. She hitches closer and lifts herself up a little to wrap her arms around Clarke’s stiff body, holding her close. “No Clarke.”

“The gods are punishing me.” The hitch in her voice tells Lexa that she is crying now.

“This was not the gods’ doing,” Lexa insists fiercely, her anger burning in the pit of her stomach. “This was a man’s doing, Lord Pike.”

Clarke melts into her embrace and Lexa wonders how long she has been carrying this shadow upon her shoulders, letting it weigh her so heavily. “Even so, if he finds out…” She trembles again in Lexa’s arms and Lexa feels tears prickle in her own eyes. She clings more tightly, and for a moment she wishes their lives had not panned out this way, that they could simply give themselves to each other without the fear of vengeful lords or the duty of their families and countries weighing them down. “Please, please,” Clarke presses her face into the crook of Lexa’s neck, not entirely sure what she is begging for.

When Lexa speaks again, her voice is raw with emotion. “Not even the gods could keep me from loving you, Clarke. Some southern lord certainly won’t.”

---

The fire crackles in the place, though the day is hot and the sun pounds down upon the streets. It streams in through the window of her chambers, forming a bright square upon the cold stone underfoot. If she stretches her foot out she can reach it and feel the heat of the day upon her bare skin. This room has always caught the morning light nicely, glowing with warmth under the sun, and she tries not to think on where she will be sleeping come nightfall.

Her robe is light around her shoulders as Harper’s nimble fingers tug and pull at her curls, pinning them into intricate, twisting forms with the expert hand of someone who has been doing this for some time. She has been working in silence since she began and Clarke has appreciated the peace, what feels like the first she has had in days.

Despite the rumours, her days after Finn’s death were not spent in bed recovering from grevious wounds. When she thinks of her wedding night now, everything feels very distant and far away. She barely remembers the assassin’s face, though she does remember it sliding away to reveal a second the moment the last breath had escaped him. She doesn’t remember the wounds to her legs and stomach, which are still bandaged tightly and throb with pain at every breath. She remembers the smell of blood, and the feeling of the blood soaked cotton beneath her fingers. She remembers how it dried beneath her as the night went on, turning stiff and dry like corn kernels. She remembers Finn’s wan, shallow face, and his unseeing eyes staring back at her, at once adoring and accusatory.

The Grand Maester had come only when Faith had been howling outside the doors to the bedchamber for so long that one of the guards had run to find him. He had wrapped her wounds, given her milk of the poppy, and in her drowsy, drugged state she had fallen into his familiar arms and wept her story of Pike. If before she had been unsure whose side he was on, she had been certain at the sight of uniminitable horror on his face as her tale unfolded. He had seen to her wounds, had the king’s body wrapped and taken to the Sept, and put her to bed. When she had woken the next morning, the ache in her heart stronger even than the ache in her body, he had asked her to tell her story again.

“Can you stand, your majesty?” Harper asks, quietly, and slowly, with her handmaiden’s help, Clarke struggles to her feet. Harper unwraps her robe and sets to dressing her.

On the morning after her cursed wedding, Harper had come at the Grand Maester’s command, and set about bathing her as gently as one would a newborn babe. Though her fingers had trembled, she had not backed away when the Grand Maester had offered to fetch another. With gentle determination, she had brushed Clarke’s hair and braided it back, dressed her in a soft nightgown and her periwinkle blue robe, so that when the first of the visitors came, she was presentable.

Lord Marcus was the first, at her request, slipped into the chambers through the secret tunnels. His face pale, he had set by her bedside, her hand in his, and listened without interruption to everything she had had to say. When she had asked that he send for her mother, he had bowed his head over their clasped hands, until her knuckles brushed his forehead. Lady Arianna had followed him, her brows drawn tight as she listened to what Clarke told her, Lord Marcus at her side. Clarke hadn’t been able to finish her tale before Lady Arianna spat at the floor and cursed Pike’s name.

“Of course you will have my backing, your majesty. Anything over that treasonous cunt.”

A knock comes to the door, and Clarke calls entry. Octavia steps through the door and gives a low bow.

“Everything is ready, your majesty.”

“Thank you, Octavia.”

Octavia had burst through the doors to her room that day with the ferocity of a wild jungle cat from Essos. She had glowered at them all, taken several steps to Clarke’s bed, bowed and said. “I will be taking over the queen’s protection from now on.” No one had thought to argue.

After Princess Arianna had come a whole slew of other nobles. The lord of Riverrun, her uncle Lord Jonathon, had eyed her with a new sort of respect and promised to stand at her side if the time should come.

Her father’s brother had been less easy to convince. Lord Arthur had stared down at her in the bed as if he thought she was finally where she ought to be, and crossed his arms, ignoring the glare of Lord Marcus and Octavia at her sides.

“This is just what you deserve, reaching higher than your station.” He had shaken his head, his lip curling. “What can you be thinking, to take on the Lannisters? They are the most powerful house in the land, they have the most money and the most arms.”

“Not against us all united, uncle.” Clarke had told him, as carefully as she could.

“You are a foolish child, playing at these games.”

“I am no child, uncle.”

“You will get us all killed, our house will never know another generation!”

“I am your queen,” Her voice had become steely. “And I am asking for your allegiance.”

“Lord Pike will tell anyone and everyone that you are no true queen.” Her uncle had sneered at her, and she had risen a brow.

“If I am not your queen, then I am still the head of our house, and your opinion does not matter.” Her uncle’s face had dropped, and she had watched as he struggled for the right words.

Eventually he too had bent a reluctant knee, and she had four of the great houses at her command.

“It’s time, your majesty.” Octavia steps into the room again, and Clarke lets Harper surveys her one final time, before nodding her approval. She is escorted from the castle to the Great Sept with a tight, loyal group of guards at her sides and she can hear the cheers of the waiting small folk as if from far away, though she is only in her carriage.

The lords of the Stormland had needed a gentler touch. A land steeped in the history of traditions and knights, the Stormland lords had become used to one of their own sitting the throne and the privileges this afforded them. She had had the room emptied, but for the Grand Measter, and when Lord Mertyn, now the most powerful Lord in the Stormlands stepped into the room he found a wan, pale woman confined to a sick bed.

“My Lord,” She had offered him a seat, and graciously accepted his bow. Her voice had taken on a breathless, anxious quality. “I am so glad you came, I don’t know who to trust.”

“Your majesty, I am so sorry for your loss.” His sincerity had touched her. “His majesty…” He trailed off, shaking his head, and she brushed at a tear that escaped down her cheek. “We are glad that you at least were spared.”

“Thank you for your kind words,” She had touched uncertainly at her covers, “Many do not feel similarly, I fear.” At his curious look, she had continued. “I am not safe my Lord,” She hesitated and brushed at her stomach again, lingering long enough for him to notice. “We are not safe.”

His eyes had widened and he had stuttered. “You mean to say…”

“A woman knows, my Lord.”

He had pledged his support moments later, stating, “You are a Stormlander now, my lady.”

Now, as the door to the Great Sept swings open, she walks to her place on the dais certain that no one of any importance will rise to object to her. Her knees settle against the velvet cushion and as the High Septon speaks the ancient words, she feels the eyes of the kingdom resting upon her shoulders. Each one of these people will fight for her if they must.

“May the Warrior grant her courage, may the smith grant her strength.” The Septon concludes and glances down at her, his eyes cold. She knows he hates crowning a woman more than anything, but the Most Devout, who give voice to the wishes of the Seven in this world, have always had a good relationship with the Tyrells. Her father's frequent visits to Oldtown, where they gathered, had seen to that.

“Arise, your majesty.”

She stands, and the dark gown falls in waves against her, the golden embroidery and carefully selected sapphires heavy against her bosom.

“In the name of the Seven, I now pronounce Clarke of House Tyrell, first of her name, Queen of the First Men, Protector of the Realm.”

The crown settles upon her head and she feels her shoulders straighten, her chin tilt up. As she looks out over the watching congregation, she knows that no one will challenge her now that she is queen.

Particularly with Pike of House Lannister rotting in a black cell far below the castle.

—-

#clexa #clexa gotau #clarke griffin #commander lexa #clexa fic

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chinchuqui · 4 years

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Magestia Diamond-Our Dancer

Magestia Diamond Our Dancer 4 A.S-60 A.S Reign:26 A.S-48 A.S Married to: Nickolano Blackcone Children: Slincia Diamond, Friged Diamond, Poldaka the 2nd Diamond, Bon Diamond Sunria Bio: https://chinchuqui.tumblr.com/post/627304329950511104/sunria-diamond-the-first-one Tapestry: https://chinchuqui.tumblr.com/post/627812078196064256/she-danced-her-feelings-when-times-were-tough Slincia Bio: https://chinchuqui.tumblr.com/post/628569519175106560/slincia-diamond-the-quiet

Magestia Diamond was born in 4 A.S. She was Sunar's first ever princess.

She had brown hair, blue eyes, and ballet slippers as her cheekmarks.

Hopping around, Magestia would be nicknamed, "The bunny." For this, her mother put her into dancing classes.

Magestia grew up in the early times of Sunar. Her mother was always building a stable home.

Magestia would soon lose the luxury of being Sunar's only Princess. In 10 A.S, Princess Poldaka was born. Magestia was so happy to have a baby sister. She already imagined all of the games the two would play.

The young princess's parents were relieved to learn her excitement. They thought their first born would be jealous to have to share the title and attention. Sunria could already see a great Queen in her young daughter, and couldn't wait to see the person she would become. But she appreciated the time she still had with her baby girls.

In 14 A.S, a threat approached the Diamonds. The two Princesses were sent to their father's side of the family for protection. They would return five months later.

When Magestia turned 14 in 18 A.S, she inherited the royal wand that her mother had. Poldaka showed her comedic side and made everyone in the palace laugh. She would call her older sister "Mag" or "Es."

Magestia's training was better than her mother's. It was a time of peace. Thanks to Magestia being the top dancer in the kingdom, her mother gave her the title. Thus she was known as, "Magestia Diamond, Our Dancer."

When Magestia turned 15, she awoke to hundreds of tissue on her face. Her cries alerted the palace. Panicked, her mother informed her to stay in her room while servants brought her food. "What's wrong with Mag," Poldaka asked. "She's going through something." A few hours later, Magestia left her room. She had tiny purple wings. Poldaka was so happy and excited. Magestia felt both happy and confused. What was that? Sunria and the MHC were all confused. But I knew what it was. But I kept my quiet. This wasn't Mewni anymore.

Then everything changed in 22 A.S. Magestia went looking for her little sister. She entered her chambers and saw writing on the walls. "ETOAXIE!" "THE EYE!" Magestia worried for her sister. She ran in the bathroom and froze. She saw her beloved baby sister dead. Magestia screamed so much she fainted. Her world was overcome by darkness. It would take a while for her to overcome the grief.

During a meeting, Magestia met Blackcone. In 26 A.S, the two were wed. Magestia was 22 years old. And the two were crowned the 2nd monarchs of Sunar. It should be noted Magestia and her children were the only ones who would call Blackckone by his first name.

Her first action was to create a room where future princesses would sit and take in Magestity. Magestity is a phase where a princess goes through the process of getting her magic form.

In 28 A.S, Magestia gave birth to her oldest. Princess Slincia, a mute child. She had purple hair, blue eyes, and shell like cheekmarks. In 30 A.S, the first boy was born. Prince Friged had brown hair, green eyes, and no cheekmarks. Later in 33 A.S, Princess Poldaka the 2nd was born. She had purple hair, orange eyes, and boots as her cheekmarks. Finally in 37 A.S, Magestia had Princess Bon. She had purple hair, green eyes, and a pearl as her cheekmarks.

Slincia was confirmed mute in 31 A.S when she was 3. She couldn't talk and her baby brother was already starting.

Sadly in 34 A.S, Sunria passed away. Magestia was respectively upset. Her sorrow grew when her father passed away one week later.

In 42 A.S, Sunria inherited the wand. A year later Magestia held a festival to honor the Princess of Sunar. It was a song that would describe her. In 43 A.S, Slincia's song was titled, "The Silent Princess." This was the first song day festival. A tradition we still hold today.

In 48 A.S, Slincia was wed to a boy named Qona. And they were crowned King and Queen. Five months prior, Poldaka had her song festival. "The Honor Princess."

In 51 A.S, Bon had her song day festival. "The Honest."

In 53 A.S, Poldaka had her wedding. Saddly in 54 A.S, Blackcone passed away. Magestia was crushed, she only had her children.

In 55 A.S, Friged was wed. Only two years later did Bon get married.

Magestia spent her final years well. And in 60 A.S, she passed away at age 56.

#sunarverse #svtfoe #svtfoeoc #svtfoeau #queensofsunar #queensofmewnioc #magestiadiamond

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shipmistress9 · 5 years

Text

FTLOAP - 42: What If We Rewrite The Stars?

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.

Rating: Explicit

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Discord-server for discussions and questions

Part 1: Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11;

Part 2: Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20; Chapter 21; Chapter 22; Chapter 23; Chapter 24; Chapter 25; Chapter 26; Interlude 2; Chapter 27: Chapter 28 ; Chapter 29 ; Chapter 30; Chapter 31; Chapter 32; Interlude 3; Bonus 1; Chapter 33

Part 3: Chapter 34; Chapter 35; Chapter 36; Interlude 4; Chapter 37; Chapter 38; Chapter 39; Chapter 40; Interlude 5; Chapter 41

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: Urgh... I don't know what to think of this chapter. I really wrote a lot in these past two weeks, but barely anything for this story. In times, the words simply flowed down into the document - but only when I wrote something else. On this story, I was entirely blocked. According to my plan, there'd been supposed to be at least twice as much plot in this chapter, maybe even more. Ah, well, but it looks like there might be a few shorter chapters to come instead. *sigh*

Anyway, thanks to the changed content of this chapter, I also had to change the title, since the one I had planned in for such a long time only fits the next part. Thankfully, someone recommended 'Rewrite The Stars' by Zac Efron and Zendaya from the movie Greatest Showman to me a while ago. That song fits these last few chapters perfectly, and I think this quote fits this chapter quite well, too.

. o O o .

Hiccup hoped with all his heart that he wasn’t dreaming again. Her lips were moving with his, he could taste her on his tongue, and he could clearly feel her soft and warm body safely encased in his arms – but it still felt too good to be true.

He’d been so sure that Astrid’s choice at the ball would seal their fate. Markor’s death had confirmed that he’d really seen a vision and had talked to a Goddess instead of only having made it all up. But to be certain that She had meant more than just holding Astrid during the ride back, Hiccup had thought that Astrid would have to ask him for her dance instead of Eret. Otherwise, the social pressure on her to stick to her choice and not switch to an impecunious squire would have been too great – or so he’d told himself. And for those few moments, when she’d slowly walked through the ballroom with her eyes fixed on his and their bond thrumming like a thousand drums, he’d believed she actually would choose him. For that handful of breaths, all the pain and longing and desperation of the previous weeks had vanished at the prospect of their dream coming true, of them dancing together in front of everyone, not caring what anyone else might think. For that short time, he’d hoped!

But then she’d turned toward Eret after all, away from him, and everything around Hiccup had fallen apart. She’d made her choice and it wasn’t him. He barely remembered how he’d made it out of the ballroom and into the dark night. Everything had hurt – be it brushing against another guest, his stumbling steps over uneven ground, or even the air itself. It had all hurt like a million shards of glass cutting into his mind, his flesh, his soul.

At that moment, dying hadn’t felt like such a bad option.

But then she’d suddenly been there. He’d felt her approach, and the sight of her, her closeness, her voice, and her words and promises had been like sweet honey on his hurting soul, and now, everything was perfect again. She was in his arms, and her hand on his skin and her lips against his were all the reassurance he needed. Hot tears of pure relief ran down his cheeks; he hadn’t thought to ever kiss her again, much less hold her with the assurance that nothing could come between them again. He wanted this moment to never end...

Of course, it felt like a dream. But it was one he intended to hold on to with everything he had. Whatever happened, he wouldn’t let go of her again.

“Well, fuck me slowly with Heimdall's mighty horn!” came like a thunderbolt, for all that it was hissed through clenched teeth.

The words cut into their blissful bubble like a knife. Hiccup was reluctant to separate from Astrid and he sensed that she felt the same, but the magic of the moment was gone. She whimpered as he drew back, quietly, barely more than a vibration rippling through her, and buried her face against his chest, unwilling to face their intruders. Despite their silent agreement to not hide but to fight this time, she was still afraid – and Hiccup couldn’t even blame her. All those months of secrecy and hiding had left their mark, and it wouldn’t go away in the blink of an eye. A spark of that fear rose inside him, too, but he forced himself to ignore it as he looked up, stern determination in his eyes as he faced the newcomers. He was ready to fight for her, ready to do whatever it would take. Nobody would be able to separate them again, not after what they’ve been through. If the last two weeks had taught him one thing, then it was that a life without her wasn’t worth it.

When he looked up, his eyes directly landed on Eret, who was at the front of the small group at the edge of the small clearing. For once, though, Hiccup couldn’t pay him the respect he deserved as his knight. This was not about who was the knight and who was the squire. This was about something so much more important, and Hiccup didn’t budge or cower, didn’t avert his eyes and bowed but instead met his cousin’s gaze straight on. However, the expression on Eret’s face didn’t tell him anything. He was calm as he took in what he saw, the woman who’d been meant to become his wife in the arms of his squire, his cousin, his friend. Hiccup had expected – no, feared there would be disappointment, hurt, and anger. But if Eret felt any of that, then he didn’t show it.

Briefly, Hiccup’s eyes flickered to those standing behind Eret – Dagur, whose disbelieving curse had interrupted them and who now stared at them with his mouth open and his eyes wide, and both of Astrid’s servants – but they didn’t really matter. Right now, everything depended on how Eret would react. Deep inside, Hiccup hoped that what he’d believed before Astrid’s birthday was still true; that Eret wouldn’t mind, would maybe even support them in some way. But since then, many things had changed, especially Eret’s relationship to his little sister, and he had every right to be furious, to demand their separation. Hiccup and Astrid might be ready to stand up for their feelings for each other… but that didn’t change that things would become very difficult if a ducal heir would be their opponent.

For some endless seconds, their gazes were locked. Hiccup’s arms around Astrid trembled and he swallowed as one scenario after the other flickered through his mind; everything from having to fight his cousin right here and now to getting thrown into the royal dungeon for his boldness within a matter of minutes.

But then, Eret closed his eyes and, letting out a deep sigh, slowly shook his head. “You two,” he snorted into the silence that encircled them all, “are unbelievable, do you know that?”

At first, his words made no sense to Hiccup, and it took for Eret’s face to twitch into something of a soft grimace before their meaning sank in.

And even then, Dagur was the first to react. “You knew?!” he sputtered, his head whipping from Hiccup and Astrid to Eret and back again at an almost comical speed. “Bu-but I thought he… he said… in that tavern! And... all this time, you–”

“Oh, be quiet!” Astrid’s warder, Tuff, hissed as he threw up his arms in exasperation. “Or do you want to draw even more attention? It’s bad enough already as it is...”

“And you knew too?” Dagur went on, though in a quieter hissing voice now as he turned to look at the twins in disbelieve. They both gave identical shrugs and nods, and Dagur groaned. “Great! So I was the only stupid one around here?”

“Isn’t that how it always is?” Tuff threw back, a mischievous grin on his face.

But their bantering got lost in the background as Ruff pushed past them. Her eyes were firmly locked onto Astrid’s back who still wouldn’t look at anyone. Hiccup wished he could shield her from all that seemed to trouble her, but he knew that, right now, he was powerless. All these people knew each other since childhood, with only him being the odd one out. Whatever happened now, he could only watch, could only try to support Astrid in case it came to some form of fight between her and those she considered her closest friends. All he could do was keep his arms tight around Astrid’s trembling shoulders, assuring her that he was here with her.

“I’m sorry, milady,” Ruff sighed. “We couldn’t keep them out any longer. And the doors to the garden stood still open, so…” she trailed off, shrugging.

Finally, Astrid stirred. She stayed as close to Hiccup as she could, but still turned her head until she could look at the others. “It’s all right, Ruff. I don’t blame you,” she whispered in a brittle voice.

Then her head turned a little more. It was clear that she was looking at Eret now, and Hiccup followed her eyes, still unsure of what to expect from his cousin. Was he angry? Disappointed? Hiccup wouldn’t even blame him… Up until about an hour ago, there had been no doubt as to who the Princess would choose as her husband, after all…

"Did you really know?" Astrid asked in a small voice, and Hiccup could feel how much she trembled. She'd been close to blacking out earlier, and all this had to be tough on her. Almost without thinking about it, his hands shifted, less holding her tight but more supporting her weight in case she needed it. His gaze stayed on Eret though, anxiously waiting for his reaction.

However, Eret's expression was unreadable as his eyes roamed from one to the other. It probably only took him a few seconds before he replied, but those seemed to stretch out forever. Then he closed his eyes and sighed. "No, I didn't know," he emphasised in a quiet voice. "I didn't want to. If I'd known about the looks you shared whenever you thought nobody was looking or how you’d make out whenever you got the chance, then I'd have been forced to lie to my best friend and future king whenever I looked him in the eye." He sighed again and shook his head. "But seriously, if it was your intention to keep what’s between you a secret, then you did a horrible job!"

In Hiccup’s arms, Astrid was trembling even harder. Hiccup felt the same, little shockwaves running through his body as the meaning of what Eret just said sank in. They’d thought they’d been so careful…

“And-and you never said anything?”

Eret’s expression turned sad. “And end up being torn between my loyalty toward you, my best friend and little sister, or Daniel, also my friend and future liege?” He shook his head, even as his lips twitched into something of a smile. “I’d thought about it,” he eventually added in a low voice. “And I tried… You know… Ever since the… the incident with Harold, I had my suspicions. And even though I didn’t want to know the truth, I was still searching for some form of… of confirmation, I guess. But every time I tried to probe for a reaction, carefully, either of you warded off my approach with some excuse or other. I have to grant you that, every time I thought to be sure, you managed to throw me off just enough so that I had doubts again. Every now and then, I also thought about simply confronting you directly, to stop all the hiding. But you apparently wanted to keep this secret, and I… well, after you’ve kept our secret for over two years now, I thought it was only fair to respect your secret as well.”

Astrid’s head dropped, though whether it was some kind of nod or simply in defeat, Hiccup couldn’t tell. A moment later, she looked up again though, and her hands on his chest tightened into fists, clinging to his tunic. “And what about these last two weeks?” she asked, her voice close to breaking.

Hiccup still felt unable to contribute anything to the conversation, but he had to admit that this was a valid question. If Eret had, well, not known but highly suspected there was more between him and Astrid… why hadn’t he said something then? Why had he let her favour him?

Eret’s expression turned pained. “After your birthday…” he whispered, “it was just the same. I saw that something was wrong with you, and understandably so. But I couldn’t be sure, didn’t know what was up, whether you had a fight or whether it was something else… Again, I tried to get a reaction, just anything that would help me understand. But you wouldn’t talk to me, just warded off my questions all over again. And when I tried to get some reaction from Hiccup, he even encouraged me to…” He shook his head. “I wanted to help you, but I just didn’t know how to do that, what exactly had happened between you two, whether you’d even want me to know, and...” He paused and threw his hands up in a helpless gesture, the pain on his face getting even more intense before he added, “I’m sorry!”

Hiccup listened to his cousin’s words with mixed feelings. On the one hand, he was still anxious and overwhelmed by the fact that so many people now seemed to know about them – and apparently had for quite a while. But on the other hand, he also felt a weird mix of relief and anger. Relief that they didn’t need to hide that desperately any more... but also the anger about how much pain both him and Astrid could have been spared if only Eret had said something!

However, it only took one look into Astrid’s eyes as she turned to him again for this anger to evaporate. In a way, they both had needed this pain to understand, to see clearly that living apart wasn’t an option, no matter the circumstances. And in the end, it was Eret who’d lost… Hiccup could see it in the reassurance that sparkled in Astrid’s eyes, felt it in how her hand pressed harder against his chest for a moment before she wriggled out of his embrace to make a step toward her brother. She’d made her choice and that meant that she would have to hurt Eret.

“I’m sorry, too,” she said in a weak voice. “But… but I can’t become your wife. A part of me wants to. I want to help you out of this awful situation you’re in. I want to help you both at once. But this, I can’t do.” She paused, taking a deep breath, then gasped, “I love him!”

Hiccup’s heart swelled at her words. She’d said it before already, to him, but this was different. This was what he’d dreamed of ever since he’d discovered that she was the Princess. It was openly declaring their feelings for each other, in front of witnesses and without holding back. And I love her too, more than anything, more than my own life, he added mentally, but didn’t dare to interrupt them.

When he looked up at Eret again, the sadness from before was almost entirely gone though. Instead, he smiled, his eyes warm as he held his arms open, inviting her into a hug.

“I know,” he murmured, barely audible, after his arms had closed around her. “And Swanja... I’m not mad. Do you remember the day we talked? Down at the lake? I meant every word I said, that day and on every other day. I’d be happy and proud to call you my wife and I do believe that a life on our stud farm would suit you. But I also want you to be happy. I told you that, if you have someone you want to choose for yourself, then do so. And…” he trailed off, shared a quick glance with Dagur, and then added, “And there’s something else I also meant when I said it. If you have a problem, you only need to say it, and we'll help you, whatever it is.”

Eret’s words had touched Hiccup, had made him feel stupid and grateful at the same time. Of course, her brothers valued Astrid’s happiness, he shouldn’t have doubted them. It took a few heartbeats before the last words fully sank in though, and when they did, they left him stunned. It was one thing to accept her choice and, hopefully, to not out them publicly. Eloping, their last resort if they wouldn’t be able to find another way, would become impossible if everyone knew about them. But Eret – and Dagur, if Hiccup had interpreted that look correctly – appeared to be willing to do so much more, to even help and support them in finding a solution. Maybe – just maybe! – they actually had a chance…

In Eret’s arms, Astrid began to cry, quietly and with tremors shaking her body, but for once, Hiccup didn’t feel the urge to go and comfort her himself. He’d thought that seeing them like this again would hurt as it had before, but it didn’t. Not with the reassurance of the past half hour. It was only Eret comforting his adopted sister – and if he was honest with himself then it had never been anything else anyway. A soft smile tugged at Hiccup’s lips as he watched them now, and he couldn’t help the warmth spreading through him at the sight in front of him. Eret cooed and murmured into her hair and rubbed her arms and back until she calmed down again. A faint memory rose to Hiccup’s mind, about how she’d once told him how she had nobody she could fully trust, how she was alone when it came to her innermost problems, and how liberating it was for her to have found him. But she’d been wrong. She’d never been alone, had always been protected and cared for.

For a minute or three, they were all silent save for Astrid’s servants murmuring in the background. Dagur had stepped closer, but, to Hiccup’s surprise, he hadn’t said anything yet. However, his hand on Astrid’s shoulder offering comfort and support said enough. Everything Eret had said was true for him, too, apparently. And when Eret eventually lifted his head to look at Hiccup standing a few steps away, he understood that this support wasn’t just aimed at their sister. Eret’s eyes were soft, his smile warm and true as he nodded at him, including him as well.

It didn’t need any other form of communication then, Hiccup stepping closer just as Eret loosened and dropped his arms. Astrid threw one last grateful smile up at Eret before she returned to Hiccup. To never leave him again.

Hiccup couldn’t really help himself then; holding her close and feeling her hand directly land over his heart again felt good, but it wasn’t enough. His hands curled around her face, her neck, and he pulled her into a kiss instead. When she was surprised, she caught herself before he noticed, melting into him, humming and smiling against his lips. It wasn’t the most passionate kiss they’d ever shared, just soft lips sliding and tugging at each other. But that didn’t demean the sense of liberty that overcame Hiccup. As simple and easy and playful as this kiss was, it still held so much more meaning, and it was overwhelming. Because they didn’t need to hide anymore, at least not from everyone. Among this group of friends, they could stop pretending, stop lying.

“Okay, but what are we supposed to do now?”

At Tuff’s sudden question, Hiccup and Astrid parted, ruefully, and everybody turned to questioningly look at the lanky man. His eyes wandered from one to the other, before he shrugged. “What?” he asked, defensively. “We can’t stay out here forever. Sooner or later someone will notice Astrid isn’t resting in that room anymore. So what’s supposed to happen now? Are you just going to go back and announce that you changed your mind?”

“Duh, of course not!” Ruff exclaimed and even swatted the back of her brother's head with her hand. “If that was possible, all this drama wouldn’t have been necessary. He’s not eligible, and you know that perfectly well.”

“Well, yes, I do,” Tuff grumbled and rubbed his head. “And you know I wasn’t serious. But my question still stands. What do we do now?”

The short exchange pulled Hiccup out of his emotional high and back into reality. Sure, it was good to know that they weren’t alone, that they had support, but what was that worth? Not even Eret and Dagur were able to elevate him to a rank that made openly courting Astrid possible. Their situation was just as hopeless as it had been before. Nothing had changed...

After a short pause, Eret sighed. “I’d say that, for now, we should continue as planned, at least act as if nothing had changed.” He raised a hand to ward off any protest before it could come up. “I’m not suggesting to go through with the betrothal and the wedding in case we can’t find a solution. Honestly, I… I know you two well enough to have an idea of what you’re planning. But maybe we can find another solution, something that won’t leave a mess in its wake. As for now though, just consider one thing: men have already been maimed and died in this competition. My rank keeps me safe from open assassination attempts, but if anyone, and you all know who I mean, even so much as suspects Astrid might prefer a certain squire, then I’m not sure we’d be able to keep Hiccup safe.”

Hiccup’s heart sank at those blunt words, and he could feel how a shudder ran through Astrid’s body. From the corner of his eye, he saw how she paled, her hand clenching in his tunic again. As much as they might prefer it otherwise, Eret was right; keeping up at least the appearance of her going to marry Eret would be the wisest thing to do for now. So Hiccup nodded when Eret’s eyes met his, agreeing if reluctantly.

“And you know I hate to admit this,” came Dagur’s voice, drawing everyone’s attention. “But I think Timothy was right.” They all looked at him. “Time’s a wasting. Get back inside posthaste or try explaining that,” he motioned with his chin towards Hiccup and Astrid holding each other, “to a patrolling guardsman. Or worse.”

Astrid’s shoulders slumped, but she nodded. “Yes, we should go back,” she whispered, hesitantly. “But… but can we meet again soon? To talk, to find a solution? Please?” Her hand in his tunic tightened even further, and Hiccup raised his hand to place it over hers, to rub her arm until she relaxed again. The look in her eyes as she gazed up at him told him enough about how she felt; anxious and unwilling to let go of him so soon. He couldn’t even blame her, but the others were right. Staying here wouldn’t get them anywhere.

“Maybe…during the hunt in a couple of days?” he suggested. “I don’t think we’ll get the chance to talk unobserved during the tournament tomorrow and the day after. But during the hunt, we can sneak away and meet somewhere else; the stables, for example, o-or somewhere else,” he added hastily when something like a small whimper escaped Astrid. He wanted to kick himself; of course, mentioning the stables wasn’t a good idea, not after what had happened this morning. But he couldn’t take his words back anymore and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t come up with something–

“Tonight,” Eret threw in, distracting Hiccup from his thoughts. “After the ball has ended. It will be late and everybody will be too tired to care much. Rachel, do you think you can smuggle her over into my rooms without anybody noticing? There, we could talk freely.”

Hiccup’s heart began to race and he could tell that Astrid faired little better. This was better than everything he could have hoped for. Maybe, they would already find a solution tonight.

Ruff snorted and rolled her eyes. “Given that she managed to sneak out of the castle and to the stables all on her own and pretty much every night without anyone noticing… Yeah, I’d say that won’t be a problem,” she said sarcastically.

Apparently, this was news to Eret as well – the looks on his and Dagur’s faces were priceless.

. o O o .

As they approached the castle again, Astrid was reminded of the fact that she would have to let go of Hiccup’s hand eventually. She didn’t want to, wanted to stay close to him for the rest of her life, wanted to never be separated from him again.

But, of course, that wasn’t possible. Eret was right after all; it was bad enough that she’d put a target on his back by choosing him over her other suitors. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if Hiccup got the same attention now.

No, all she could do as they were back in the room she’d been resting in earlier was squeeze his hand and throw him one last smile before letting go and winding her arm through Eret’s instead. He must have felt her discomfort though, because as they walked back to the busy ballroom, Hiccup, Dagur, and the others a few steps behind them, he leaned toward her and whispered, “Don’t worry, Swanja. I promise we’ll find a way out of this.“

Astrid had no idea how he wanted to pull that off, but she believed him at least so far that he would do his best to help. Maybe he’d even cover for them in case of their last resort. And even though they still had no solution, she felt lighter now. So much had changed over this past hour. She was sure of Hiccup’s and her own feelings again, was sure of their future. And the fact that she didn’t need to hide anything from Eret anymore, that he knew and was even willing to support them, to play his part to keep her soulmate safe... She would never be able to express just how relieved and how grateful she was to him. Lying to him over all this time felt so trite and stupid now, and she just hoped that there would be a way to somehow make it up to him one day.

The rest of the ball passed surprisingly fast and ended with Astrid in a much better mood than she’d ever thought she’d be. Repeating her official dance with Eret was light and fun, just like dancing with him used to be before all this madness had started. They were back to being best friends, close as siblings, and she hadn’t known how much she’d missed this easiness until she rediscovered it now.

She found herself beaming up at him as they whirled through the room, laughing and enjoying herself. Every now and then, her eyes flickered to where Hiccup stood, and the spark in his eyes told her all she needed to know. Earlier, he’d said that watching her with Eret had pained him, but it was clear that that wasn’t the case anymore. Everything was different now. Better.

“That’s it, the Swanja I want to see. I missed her,” Eret whispered once the music died down, and he leaned in to place a soft kiss on her forehead that made her giggle.

A sigh went through the watching crowd at the tender gesture even though they thoroughly drew the wrong assumptions from it. But Astrid happily let them believe what they wanted to believe. It didn’t matter as long as everyone who did matter knew the truth. She smiled up at him again, trying to express all her gratitude and love for her friend, before they parted and the ball continued as it had before.

She danced with Dagur next, and he too reassured her that they would support her and how happy he was to see her smile again. He also managed to make her – and part of the watching crowd she guessed – laugh when he made a show of not letting go of her again. Gods, it was so liberating to fool around like this again, to have her brothers back and to have fun without caring what other people might think of them.

She danced with many other men as it was the custom, men whose names she barely remembered. But where on the days before she’d dreaded this idea, it now barely bothered her. Some of them were nervous and excited, some stiff in their attempt to make an impression on her. She wondered whether these men really still held some hope now, or whether it was their fathers pushing them. Either way, she felt pity for them where before she’d hated every single one of them. Most of these boys – because some of them were barely old enough to be called more than that – probably had gotten thrown into this just as unwillingly as she had and she made an attempt to turn their dances into something enjoyable. She was just too happy to let anyone else mope around.

Eventually, she danced with Snot, and while the thought had made her uncomfortable at first, she soon realised that there seemed to be no reason for that anymore.

“I congratulate you for the choice you made,” he murmured into her ear at a quieter part of the music. “I think it’s a good one, no matter how much my old man might object.”

His words surprised her, and she didn’t know what to reply except a simple “Thanks.” These past weeks of incessant flirting on his part had alienated him to her, and Astrid wasn’t ready to forgive and forget it yet. But even though she still felt tense in his arms, certainly not as comfortable as in Dagur’s or even with all those other strangers, she had to admit to herself that dancing with him now at least felt a little more like it used to.

At some point though, she even was made to dance with Thuggory, and no matter how good she felt, this did make her uncomfortable. She didn’t want his hands on her waist, didn’t want to be this close to him, ever. But she would endure it, there was no other way anyway. And there was even some fun in it for her too, if only in knowing that all his vague threats were in vain.

“You’re going to regret choosing that horse-crazy idiot,” he sneered, his breath on her skin making her shudder. “You’ll see.”

But Astrid wasn’t feeling like giving in or even just ignoring him today. “I doubt that,” she replied with a sweet smile. “On the contrary, I’m certain that the choice I made today was the best of my life.” He couldn’t know that she wasn’t talking about Eret but instead about going after Hiccup, but that only made her rejoice even more. Thuggory was nothing but a toothless dog, barking and annoying, but unable to actually do anything.

At her words, his eyes contracted into slits, his sneer turning even more menacing. “We’ll see, Princess. We’ll see.”

But not even that was enough to darken Astrid mood tonight.

. o O o .

So, that was that...

I can't say that I'm happy with how this chapter turned out. Not that I don't like this scene, but it feels incomplete without the one that's now going to come in the next chapter. Like, the rest of the ball had been meant to be a bridge between the two main scenes... Writer's block is so annoying!

Anyway, I hope some people are calmer and more relaxed now, nothing bad will happen right away. ;)

#FTLOAP #For The Love Of A Princess #Hiccstrid #Hiccup and Astrid #hiccstrid royal au #royalty au #Hiccstrid Medieval AU #medieval au #fanfiction #romance #hiccstrid fanfiction #httyd #httyd fanfiction

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emorymarino · 6 years

Text

[ MEGHAN MARKLE ] — [ EMORY MARINO ] is a [ THIRTY-THREE ] year old [ ATTORNEY ]. They identify as a [ HOMOSEXUAL CISFEMALE ] and I’ve heard that they’re [ THOROUGH & OBSERVANT ] but can also be [ DAUNTLESS & HARSH ]. [ SHE ] has been living in London for [ EIGHT YEARS ] and has since been known as the [ CORNERSTONE ].

( re-posting since i changed her fc and some things in her background c: )

Basic Information

Full Name: Emory Liliana Marino Nickname(s): Em Age: 33 Date of Birth: September 25th 1985 Hometown: Oakland, California Nationality: American, Italian Ethnicity: Italian, African-American Gender: Cisgender female Pronouns: She/her Orientation: Homosexual Religion: Christian Occupation: Attorney Language(s) Spoken: English, Italian Accent: American

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Meghan Markle Hair Colour: brunette Eye Colour: brown Height: 5’ 6" (171 cm) Tattoos/piercings?: Ears pierced, tattoos tagged (click)

Health

Allergies: Shellfish Disorders: depressive tendencies Emotional Stability: fairly stable Drug Use: No Alcohol Use: Yes

Personality

Label: The Cornerstone (someone that supports everyone and anyone; they are loyal and are often used as the shoulder to cry on or a confidant(e); they are an anchor and rock and guardian angel to many; they are the knight in shining armor, coming to the rescue whenever someone is in trouble)

Positive Traits: thorough, observant, dynamic, compassionate Negative Traits: harsh at times, cold at times, dauntless, impatient Fears: isolation, judgement, loneliness

Favorites

Weather: Sunny Colour: Blue Movie: The Matrix Food: Italian Animal: Dogs

Familial

Father: Giovanni Marino (not in contact) Mother: Greta Marino (not in contact) Significant Other: None currently Siblings: None Children: None Pets: None

Backstory

TRIGGER WARNINGS: homophobia, depression, self-hate

Emory is Italian. Her parents moved to the US after they got married, so she was born and grew up in Oakland, California.

Her parents are extremely religious and it was very important to them to raise Emory Catholic. They took her to church every Sunday and prayed every day before a meal and before going to sleep. Bible studies were also something she attended growing up. In her childhood, this gave her a certain feeling of being protected and she grew up with a very strong faith.

Growing up she always felt she was different than other girls. While other girls might have played with barbie dolls and dressed up as princesses for Halloween, she had always preferred playing soccer with her friends (most of them boys) and dress up as a pirate or cowgirl. She had never been the typical girly-girl. Most of the time that didn’t bother her. Of course her parents wondered why she didn’t have more friends who were girls, but they let her do how she pleased, letting her enjoy the things she wanted to enjoy.

It was when she was in high school that Emory for the first time noticed that her being different from other girls was more than just her normal interests. While others fawned over male actors like Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt and had their first crushes on the quarterback of the football team or other high school seniors, Emory never participated in talks like that. She was more interested in celebrities like the ladies from Charmed or Monica from Friends.

While her parents noticed she didn’t talk about any boys, they figured she was just a late bloomer when it came to all of this. Little did they know that she did have a crush on a senior in her school, only that that senior wasn’t a boy but a girl.

She pushed her feelings down, waving it off as just really admiring the girl. In the end she ended up going out with the quarterback most of the girls had a crush on, only that her heart was never in it. Emory liked him, yet deep down she knew he wasn’t the one. She figured that maybe he just wasn’t the right guy for her. The entire time while she was in the relationship with the quarterback, she felt like there was something wrong with her. After all, 90% of the girls in the school were fawning over him, so why did she have such a hard time? Still, she tried her hardest, staying with him for about a year and a half until she graduated and left for college, breaking it off with the reasoning that she wanted to focus on studying.

She went to Berkeley, University of California. She didn’t stay in any of the dorms, instead she rented a place not too far from there, sharing it with another girl who had started college with her.

It was during her time in college that she finally realized why things with every guy she had tried dating never worked out. She met a girl and finally fell in love for the first time. She fought against it, hating herself for it, as everything about it went against all the things she’d been taught growing up. The internalized self-hate soon enough turned into a deep depression.

This girl, however, made her realize there was nothing wrong with being gay. It was then that Emory finally got the experience of dating someone she truly was in love with. Still, there was still a small part of her that detested herself for feeling the way she did.

She attempted to come out to her parents, afraid of their reaction. Both reacted extremely badly, and there was lots of screaming and crying involved from her mother’s side, while her father just blankly stared at her. Finally, Emory waved it off as a phase, which seemed to calm her mother down. She ended up breaking things off with the girl she was with, effectively breaking both her heart and her own.

The entire time she had the girl who lived with her who was there for her, supporting her. And while the self-hate for feeling the way she did was still very much existent, it helped to have someone so supportive on her side. She slowly made progress in learning to love herself, even though she was something that went against everything she believed in. Eventually, she talked to a catholic priest about it, who ended up telling her that really it doesn’t matter who you love. Yes, a lot of people went against it in the name of god, he said, but in the end it is all about loving your next and not harming others. ‘God is love’, he said. ‘And what does it matter who you love?’ This was what finally gave her the strength to see things differently and to finally accept who she was. She ended up taking up bible studies as a minor and learned a lot of things about the bible that helped her accepting herself.

She waited with coming out until way after she finished college. She graduated when she was 23, effectively starting to work as a paralegal for a law firm in Oakland. She came out to her parents once more when she was 25, finally having the courage to tell them that this is who she was. It was then that her parents didn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore, telling her that no daughter of theirs was to be gay.

Emory moved out of her parent’s house, needing a fresh start. This was when a job opportunity in London presented itself and she moved to the UK. She ended up gaining a lot of experience, did a lot of courses in UK law and ended up working as a lawyer.

Now she lives with Ivy Wilson, who has not only become her best friend but also her family since the moment she first met her when she moved to London. After Ivy’s divorce, Emory is supporting her financially and is renting out her spare room in her apartment to the woman for a fraction of the price it would be worth.

TL,DR: she’s a cinnamon roll who’s been bruised by internalized homophobia since she grew up catholic, was disowned when she came out after graduating and moved to London since in Oakland there was nothing for her anymore. She’s now a lawyer and has her own apartment in London and her best friend Ivy moved into her spare room.

#londonhq:intro #( love me #my beeb and i need some new connections ! )

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mavda · 6 years

Text

Melted

Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch. 12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25 | Ch.26 | Ch.27 | Ch.28 | Ch.29 | Ch.30 | Ch.31 | Ch.32 | Ch.33 | Ch.34 | Ch.35 | Ch.36 | Ch.37 | Ch.38 | Ch.39 | Ch.40 | Ch.41 | Ch.42 |

Ch.43: Pins in the hem and a twirl

Link spurred Epona to guide the last of the Ordon goats back to the stable. Fado whistled in amazement and slow clapped till Link stopped in front of him, the boy had talent and Fado had been missing him.

"Amazing as always, Link! Thanks for helping out!"

Link jumped off and waved off the compliment, "You have anything else for me?" Link closed the barn and cleared off the dust on his clothes.

Fado was waiting for Epona to breathe evenly, and apple in hand. The mare was huffing and puffing but nuzzled Fado's hand nonetheless, "Nuh-uh, everything's done for the day, man."

Link rested his back on the barn, nodded to himself, "Great."

Fado was expecting for Link to get on Epona and leave, but the boy just stared up to the darkening sky, "Something on your mind?"

Link blinked, "No," he frowned, "not at all, don't worry."

Link waved his hand and Fado saw him trotting to the village. Before Fado lost sight of him he put his hands around his mouth and shouted, "Tell Zelda I said hi!"

Link straightened his back and waved his hand again. Fado chuckled, he could see Link's blush even from where he was.

The village had asked few questions and had received Zelda with open arms. It had helped that Mayor Bo had vouched for her, that the popular Rusl had stood behind her in a protective stance and that Link, beloved child, had asked for the people's help. Link, who barely thought before saying yes to those who needed him; Link, who gave away his money for the better of everyone else; Link, who had gone through hell and back to save their children, their future; Link, who had come back gloomy and serious and had laughed every worry off. Link, who looked at Princess Zelda with puppy eyes and whispered in her ear to make her smile.

The village came to an untold agreement to keep quiet, keep outsiders under watch and look out for Zelda in every way they could. It didn't hurt that Zelda exuded charm.

Talo screamed before plunging forward. Beth was doing little to help, as her shouts were cheers for his enemy. Colin held his breath every time the sword got near Zelda.

Zelda twirled with grace and made Talo stumble with her foot. Talo turned and let out an exaggerated sigh, "Not fair!"

Beth started to counter that it was fair, and that he just sucked when Zelda stifled a smile and crouched to Talo's height, "You'll get better, you just have to practice."

Talo looked to the side, mumbled, "Link said the same thing..."

"Well, Link is right."

Talo stomped on the ground, "I don't seem to improve, though."

Zelda touched Talo's arm, "You will have to be patient, Talo. I assure you, if you keep practicing, you will get better."

Beth and Colin smiled at Talo, trying to comfort him.

Talo pouted and then looked at Zelda, "What do you say we practice with the bow, now?"

Beth was jumping up and down, yelling that it was her turn now and that she, too, wanted to be part of that.

Zelda straightened and put away the wooden swords Link always left in Epona's stable for the kids to use, she was putting on the quiver when the kids started to greet somebody.

Illia smiled in return, "Oh, Zelda, we are going back to eat at Uli's now, I'm sure the kids can wait for another of your classes."

Beth ran to Zelda, "But I'm first tomorrow, all right?"

Uli had been clear from the get go, Zelda could and should say and ask everything she wanted, Uli's house was her house and as such she could do as she pleased.

Doing as she pleased, for Zelda, meant shadowing Uli and feeding off her niceness.

Lunches at Uli's were soft and warm, and Zelda could only remember Link's pictures of this place and smile. Being in Ordon felt soft, warm, nostalgic.

Coming to Ordon had been the best decision she had made that month. Link would have breakfast with her and then he would leave to help the village, Zelda was always invited to have lunch with someone and when Link came back they would take a walk around.

Illia passed a plate to Zelda and their fingers touched. Illia had been nothing but niceness to Zelda, polite, eager to help, trying her best to be there. Illia would be the one to show Zelda around when Link was still doing errands.

"You like this, Zelda?"

Zelda eyed the pumpkin stew and gave a polite nod, "It's delicious."

"Everything with pumpkin is Link's favorite."

Illia gave Zelda so much information about Link, Zelda felt she knew him better and better each time. Illia gave these with ease, with trust, with care.

The children would go back to their houses after, tired and sleepy. And then it was only Zelda and Illia.

"Want to come to my house?"

Illia was the nicest of them all. She made sure Zelda was fine, would ask Zelda whenever a choice was to be made.

"Sera brought some fabric the other day and I've been making a dress with it, I want your opinion."

Illia twirled around in her dress, the hem still had pins in it. Illia had become a friend. Zelda had thought Illia's niceness was due to Link, he had asked for help and her best friend had been first in line to back him up. But Illia...

"Illia," Zelda called, and the dress stopped mid-twirl. "I'm going back in a week."

Illia nodded, ironed the front of her dress with her hands.

"I plan on asking Link to come with me."

Illia scrunched her face, "He's going whether you ask him or not," she laughed.

Zelda could feel her face burn up.

Illia smiled and sat next to Zelda, "I'm really glad Link brought you here, you know." Zelda stilled next to her. "Now I know you're not how they say you are."

Zelda hummed, "Great."

"Because, you know, I used to think that you were just using Link, I imagined you with a smirk on your face laughing at the poor sap he was."

Zelda looked at Illia in shock and coughed a little.

Illia smirked, "See? And you're none of those things."

Illia looked at her hands. The reason Zelda had wanted to tell her this... "Thanks for telling me."

"Your dress is really pretty."

Illia brightened and stood, "You think so?"

"Yes, the color really suits you."

Illia moved through her bedroom with exaggerated moves.

"Illia."

"Yes?"

"Are we... have we become friends?"

Illia stopped and looked up, "Of course we are."

"Oh," Zelda hid her face behind her hands, "oh, great," Zelda looked away.

Illia thinned her lips, "Zelda, if you hide your face like that it feels like you're confessing."

"Oh."

"Zelda, loot at me," Illia laughed.

"Just give me a second."

Illia grabbed Zelda's hands, "We are friends, come on, I've been so nice to you because I thought we were!"

Zelda tried to hide her face but started laughing, "I was just making sure, all right!"

"I gave you dirt on Link, Zelda! That practically cemented our friendship!"

Zelda threw her head back and laughed, Illia fell with her on the bed and the door to Illia's room opened.

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" Link's mop of hair got halfway through the door before stopping.

Illia laughed a couple more times before rolling over, "Link!" Illia twirled and ended with a bow.

"Oooh, looks pretty."

Illia smiled and winked at Zelda, "I know."

Link frowned and looked between the girls, "I can come back a little later."

Illia clicked her tongue, "We are done here, Link, you can take Zelda."

Zelda gave a little smile before closing the door.

"Zelda, next time I'll tell you about the time Link almost poisoned us in a festival!"

Link shined red, "Illia!"

Illia's laughs resonated inside her room.

Link was waiting down the stairs. "Link," Zelda said when she caught up.

Link raised his head but everted his look.

"Illia already told me that one."

Link closed his eyes and looked to the ceiling," Illia!"

Illia's guffaws followed them oustide the house.

#the legend of zelda #twilight princess #zelink #fanfic #melted #ch.43

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thumper-darling · 7 years

Note

Yo those Q's are cute will u do me a solid and do all of them?

1. what colors are in your room?

Dark orange, cream, and gold

2. who was your favorite school teacher?

Basically every English teacher I’ve ever had.

3. what are some passions of yours?

Writing, reading, watching films, eating sushi, and being around the people that I love

4. when you drink coffee, do you like it black or with cream and sugar?

already answered in a separate post

5. are you self-conscious about anything? if so, what?

e v e r y t h i n g

6. do you have any tips for self-love?

already answered in a separate post

7. do you have any stuffed animals? Do you name them?

I have a stuffed rabbit and a stuffed fox. The rabbit is named Alice and the fox is named Cadence.

8. do you like drawing or painting more?

doodling is where it’s at

9. how do you sleep?

not well

10. what are some things that always make you smile?

already answered in a previous post

11. living in the city, mountains, small town, or out in the middle of nowhere?

city living is where it’s at

12. what's your dream house?

A really cozy apartment or a loft? that’d be fun. Or a colonial fashion house with a yellow exterior and cobblestone accents.

13. how many pets do you wish to have?

3. I have my dog now, but I also want a german shepherd and a calico cat.

14. have you ever dyed your hair? do you want to? what color?

lol yeah, I’ve had almost every damn shade of red and then got too tired of doing that so now it’s just dark brown. I wouldn’t mind dying it some sort of turquoise or emerald green? That’d be fun

15. what's your opinion on keeping a diary?

It’s great for looking back on the good times

16. what's your opinion on keeping an art journal?

HONESTLY they’re beautiful and I encourage everyone to try to have some form of creative outlets

17. any art tips?

You are asking the w r o n g person my dude

18. talk about a moment where time stopped

time is an illusion anyways so why does it matter?

19. do you keep playlists for your music?

HECK YES I’m honestly a whore for sectioning songs off into playlists

20. is there anyone out there that you trust with your life?

Idk, my sister?

21. are you your number one priority?

N O

22. do you always type correctly or do you make millions of typos?

Not usually unless it’s my annoying sister or somebody that is bothering me

23. recommend some music!!

Daft Punk Boys by Bad Suns

Growing Up by Phil Good

Helena Beat by Foster The People

24. are your nails perfectly painted, chipped, or plain?

P L A I N

25. do you believe in wishing on a shooting star?

For sure, but I’m not sure it actually does any good

26. did you see the eclipse? describe it!!

no :’)

27. tell us what you love about nature

It’s spontaneity and damn are trees pretty

28. who are you? describe yourself!

My name is Becca, I’m 17, a hufflepuff & a scorpio. I’m allergic to seafood, and bunnies, but I love both soooo. My favorite childhood movie is All Dogs Go To Heaven and my favorite Superhero is Spider-dude.

29. what type of music do you like, and why?

Alternative/ Indie pop

30. what's your favorite clothing store? why do you love it so much?

Charlotte Russe because it has high quality clothes in my sizes

31. thrift stores or name brand stores?

Both?

32. do you like wearing your s.o clothes?

BITCH WHAT SIGNIFICANT OTHER :’)

yes

33. when did you start tumblr? why did you decide to?

because I wanted to get to the source of da memes

34. what's your face care routine?

try not to cry when I look in the mirror :’) , and if I do cry I use my tears as a moisturizer

35. freckles or dimples?

F R E C K L E S

36. name something you think should be banned from the universe

Tronald J. Dump

37. tell us something you did as a kid that you loved

I loved to catch frogs and I read a lot of books homie

38. mom or dad?

mom

39. do you buy expensive things just for the aesthetic or do you actually use everything you buy?

I literally don’t use any of the things I buy except for clothes damn I have a problem

40. tell us about something you're strongly opinionated about

I already answered this in a previous post

41. do you take peoples advice or do you have to figure things out yourself?

I ask for advice from multiple people, and then I sort of find a part of all the advice that has common ground and try to apply it to my situation

42. bra or no bra?

no bra

43. would you rather be cute or comfy?

HONESTLY COMFY IS CUTE SO HECK OFF

44. tell us about a moment in your life where everything went just perfect

I don’t remember

45. do you believe in anything? aliens? god? bigfoot?

I’m a Sasquatch bitch. Also, aliens are out there soooo

46. how much water do you drink a day?

Not enough @doctormelapples

47. how do you feel about your natural hair?

I miss it. I used to have some curls in my hair, but I dyed it so much that the texture of my hair changed a bit.

48. what does the sky look like right now? clear? cloudy? pink? blue? rainy?

It’s a very light blue with some spaced out cloud placement

49. would you be a prince or a king? princess or a queen?

None of the above, that’s too much pressure

50. tell us about your favorite outfit!

Off the shoulder gray knit sweater with black ripped jeans

51. name a few things you love about yourself

My eyes, my freckles, my humor, my creativity, and my determination

52. are you open-minded?

Yeah my dude

53. do you judge? could someone come to you in any situation they're in and you not judge them?

I really try not to be a judgmental person, but everyone has flaws and it’s definitely one of those things that I’m working on.

54. do you like planning ahead?

I HAVE TO

55. tell us how you feel about school

stop

56. talk about your first pet

A small orange cat named Angel. She was satan i swear to god

57. chocolate or strawberry milk?

chocolate

58. were you/are you in a fandom? if so, what?

A GOOD AMOUNT

59. spotify, pandora, or itunes?

I’m a spotify kinda bitch

60. favorite disney princess movie?

The Princess and The Frog

61. favorite disney movie

Bolt

62. what's a subject that you think people don't talk about enough?

English

63. how long does it take you to let your phone update?

Idk, 20 minutes?

64. describe the fifth picture on your phone!

A blurry tree with string lights hanging from the branches. Taken at 2:04 am, August 16th, 2017

65. favorite movie and why?

I hate this question because I am a film enthusiast and honestly I love too many movies for such different reasons

66. do you watch studio ghibli? what's the first one you saw? what's your favorite one?

Not really, I just never got into studio ghibli movies

67. you're home alone. describe how the setting is. music? what kind of music? tv on? what show?

Music: loud

TV: on

Movies: playing

bra: off

Food: eaten

68. how often do you say "i love you"?

Too much and not enough

69. do you have any weird things you obsess over?

p e n c i l s

70. do you like being single or do you wish you had a partner?

depends on the day idk

71. what's the last drink you had?

a caramel macchiato

72. talk about the easiest person to talk to

she’s a real ass bitch and all around classy gal

73. give us some of your favorite blogs!

@doctormelapples, @parkersenses

74. if you could have one wish, what would it be?

Wish for free college and a successful future thx

75. do you sing in the shower?

It’s best for everyone if they never know

76. how often do you shave? or do you wax? or do you not shave?

I shave according to my outfit choice

77. tell us about a habit you wish you could stop

I wish I could stop tapping on everything

78. do you listen to your own advice?

No, I’m not a stable person thx 4 asking

79. do you love yourself? if not, are you trying to?

It’s a work in progress

80. tell us about your favorite halloween!! what did you dress up as? did you get a lot of candy?

When I was younger I used to have these poppin halloween parties and one year I had a haunted house and dressed up as a haunted doll it was fun tis all

Also, I was late to my own party

81. first memory that pops in your head, talk about it.

First day of school in my junior year. I was late and have been late every first day since then.

82. how are you? what are you feeling? how has your week gone?

I think things are going well

83. rant.

It’s almost impossible for me to rant? So thank you, but no thank you

84. do you worry about something a lot? if so, what?

Already answered in a previous post

85. do you think long distance works?

I’m sure it works for the right people

86. would you date someone younger than you? older than you?

Yeah, I don’t really mind dating a bit out of my age range as long as our mentality matches?

87. name some people you'd love to meet

Tom Holland thx

88. what were some things you were scared of as a kid?

My older sister’s scream mask and knives

89. tell us about your favorite birthday

My friends surprised me with a birthday cake and a bunch of presents during my school lunch and the cafeteria sang to me?? I had v good friends.

90. how is high school?

It was definitely a journey

91. tell us the worst pick-up line you've ever heard

None of them because I have never had a pick-up line used on me. ehhhhh

92. every been groped or catcalled? how'd it make you feel? what did you do?

People can be disgusting and they don’t understand that your body isn’t there just for them to touch, so fuck that person who thought it was

93. opinion of feminism?

F E M I N I S M IS THE F U T U R E

94. tell us about a time you got embarrassed

Today in class when I was late :’)

95. ever had a pregnancy scare? tell us about it!

jinkies

96. tell us about your best friend

All she talks about water but it’s okay because she’s pure and beautiful

97. what's your opinion on planning your life out?

I mean, it’s nice and extremely helpful to have a timeline or a potential outline for how you want your life to turn out. But don’t expect everything to go according to plan?? Like, just leave a bit of wiggle room in your future for unexpected adventures. :)

98. describe what you think afterlife is like

energy cannot be created nor destroyed

99. talking on the phone or texting?

Talking on the phone because I’m lame as heck over text

100. how do you feel about the way most teachers treat students?

alReADy ANswerEd in a PREviOus PosT

101. what's a word you use more than others?

H E C K

heck

heckin

hecking

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mono-tori · 7 years

Note

Your two favourite OCs, male and female: questions 1, 3, 12, 13, 15, 16, 18, 21, 22, 24, 25, 28, 30, 31, 33, 35, 41, 42, 44, 45 and 50. Hey, at least I didn't say "everything" like I used to. :D

This is the one time I would have forgiven you if you had.

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything? Male- Thomas Hevel Kindell. His first name was just a name I liked, his middle name was chosen for story reasons, and his last name was a random choice. I didn’t think much for his first and last name, but his middle I picked specifically because it’s the Hebrew form of Abel to contrast his rival Victor Cain. Shouldn’t be too hard to figure out what comparison I was aiming for the two.

Female- Yuuki Watanabe. I picked her first name as a nod to Killer Queen (back then, Yuuki was also a loli like the Yuki from KQ) while I randomly selected her last name. The kanji for her first name is 勇姫 which are the characters for “bravery/courage” and “princess”.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? M- Thomas’ infancy was the worst since along with his birth, one of the legendary apocalyptic creatures (known as Ekmidenisi or “Serpent of Chaos”) was also incarnated alongside him. In the first few hours of his life he was responsible for wiping out an entire city, caused the death of his parents, and was exiled by his gods to the human world to let the wilds deal with him. Fortunately, his then recently-wed adoptive family would find the infant and take him for their own. The rest of his childhood goes smoothly because of them. His fondest memory was him meeting his best friend, Anthony Salazar, while at a carnival. It was also the site of his worst memory since the two boys wound up stuck upside-down on one of the rides for a few hours.

F- Yuuki’s childhood could be seen as wonderful by those that look at what she’s done, but the truth is that it wasn’t all that glamorous. While she did travel the world (thanks in part to her father traveling for work) she never really stayed someplace long enough to make friends or decent memories. Her home life was lavish (she had her own cook and maids) but unfulfilling what with no one to really care for her aside from her bodyguard, Fuyuki (who, on a positive note, loves her as if she was his own daughter). Her parents are often praised for their work and dedication (her mother as a cosmetologist and her father as a diplomat) but the two had no love for each other and only had Yuuki out of obligation and thus never really showed the girl any love since she’s the only thing keeping either of them from truly separating for good. Yuuki’s fondest memory is meeting Devon, since not only did he try to be her friend when other people feared her, he also would later go on and stand up for her against her mother while she was humiliating her. Yuuki’s worst memory was when she and Fuyuki were kidnapped and held for ransom. The two escaped, but the poor girl was exposed to a lot of death because of it.

12. What is their favorite food? Thomas’ is a good old Reuben sandwich while Yuuki’s is oyakodon.

13. What is their least favorite food?Thomas is disgusted with shrimp while Yuuki hates pork rinds.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?Thomas is very good at cooking since he needed to know how once he moved out. He doesn’t mind it so long as anyone who invites themselves over for a meal is willing to clean the dishes afterwards. It should be noted that his skill is good enough to make his carnivorous best friend enjoy eating vegetables.Yuuki is still learning, but she can do a few basic meals easily. She finds it really enjoyable since it makes her feel just a tad more independent. Unfortunately, Fuyuki had the “pleasure” of trying her first meals and wound up sick in bead for awhile because of it. She’s gotten better though.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? Thomas doesn’t collect anything, but he does have other hobbies. Yuuki collects post cards from different places which she keeps in a binder she made when she was 8.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else We’d be here all day if I explained this, so...skip!

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?Thomas is fairly even-tempered (you sort of have to be to handle high schoolers) and is willing to be extremely patient. However, if you get him mad, you’ll probably get thrown out (if you’re a student) or end up with a black eye.Yuuki is pretty calm, but she has little patience. Easily frustrated and easily angered. When she’s really pissed she’ll storm off take her frustrations out on something.

22. What are their favorite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?Thomas doesn’t really have a favorite since he rarely finds the need to do so. But he does bitch about others behind their back.Yuuki: “この人でなし!“ and she usually insults them for trying to be smart ass with her.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?Thomas is a side sleeper who goes to bed early to wake up early (like, he’s in bed by 9 and up by 5). He’s a snorer but its hardly noticeable. His bed is nice and firm since he finds soft beds too squishy for his taste.Yuuki sleeps on her stomach and tends to sleep in when given the chance (But Fuyuki rarely gives her that chance). She doesn’t snore unless she’s in a real good sleep. Her bed is somewhere in the middle, not firm but not soft.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?Thomas has an odd sense of humor, probably not helped by the fact that previously-mentioned serpent of chaos is residing within him. Some people’s misery makes him laugh while some good-natured fun won’t get any reaction. Naturally, because of this, he’s bad at making jokes.Yuuki finds humor in everything and won’t hesitate to share a laugh even when she doesn’t get a joke. She doesn’t try for comedy however, if only because she’s already laughing at her own joke before saying.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?Thomas is afraid of losing control of the monster inside him, since it has so helpfully shared with him what it did to his town of birth. Although his most natural fear is...clowns. When scared, he tends to scream and run.Yuuki’s greatest fear is to be isolated and abandoned. In general, she has a great fear of insects. When scared enough Yuuki faints from fear.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out? Thomas doesn’t work out a lot, and when he does its only because Anthony insists he join him. During his impromptu workouts he tends to be unhappy since Anthony demands he match him (and his friend has both a lot of strength and stamina) but tends to feel better following it.Yuuki works out often since her school demands all its students be as physically fit as they are mentally, but she doesn’t mind the exercise. When preparing for her warmups she psyches herself to get ready and once she finishes she cools both her body and her temperament down (Yuuki is quite competitive).

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?Thomas is a casual drinker but can put down a few if the situation is fit for it. When drunk he tends to be quite clingy, and it wouldn’t be surprising to have him kiss you either.Yuuki is still under the legal drinking age so this question is still unanswered.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?Thomas wears yellow silk briefs (cost him a pretty penny but the comfort was worth it) while Yuuki wears simple white bra and panties.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? Thomas will never admit to liking fried oreos and if you saw him scarfing a bunch of them down you were probably hallucinating. However, he will admit to enjoying sugar cubes straight up.Yuuki is on a low-key relationship with sweet bean paste, and totally can’t finish a jar by herself with some castella. She won’t hesitate her love for mangoes however.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?Thomas is pretty damn open and has no hang up about anything (this could be in part because his own birth came from a taboo relationship between an angel and a demon). He unknowingly likes gravitating towards powerful people, although this could be the Ekmidenisi influencing him to attract a worthy vessel for its next of kin. In terms of relationship goals, he likes his independence and letting his partners keep theirs.Yuuki likes men in general, but has shown her fancy for a few women here and there. She likes guys who look tough but have a gentle touch to them, and who have as much brain as brawn. Her only real need is that they actually do love her, since she’s seen what a marriage of convenience does.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?Thomas’ main ambition is to settle into his work, maybe find someone nice to marry, and live out a quiet life. The man would give anything to have a stable life, including the fantastic power he has. Failing that, he hopes that maybe he could settle down in the place of his birth and maybe use his power to help the town he unknowingly destroyed.Yuuki wishes to be like her father while having a greater heart that him. Keeping the peace between countries is laudable, but if one does it with passion then perhaps she could influence the most stubborn people to settle for peace. Aside, she does want to see the entire world, more than she already has.

44. What is their favorite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?Thomas’ favorite season is fall, the same season he was born in. He also has a fondness for windy days since Fall+wind=colorful breezes. He doesn’t like the cold at all but does well in hot places. If it gets cold enough he’ll start bitching about it.Yuuki loves the summer since a lot of places liven up during that season, and she loves to people watch the tourists. Contrary to this, she loves rainy weather. Both temperature extremes don’t fare well for Yuuki and she’ll complain about them if things are even a degree colder or warmer than she’s used to.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? Most would say Thomas isn’t a very notable person. Sure, he��s nice but he really doesn’t stand out. Meanwhile, Thomas thinks he stands out too much.Yuuki is feared because of the rumor that one word from her is enough to ruin your life and is thus treated like one treats a dangerous animal. Meanwhile, the poor girl just tries her best to be nice and hope to make friends.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?Thomas would take a book, a blanket, and several cleaning items. The cleaning items are the most important thing to him. After all, the wilds are filthy!Yuuki would probably take her phone, a notepad, some candy, and pencils. If she was going somewhere like a forest she’d deem her bow and arrows important to carry since it gives her a chance to practice her aim on live targets!

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themadlostgirl · 7 years

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Not Dead Yet (Part 33)

*Hee hee hee*

Pairing: Reader x Peter Pan

Warnings: language

Before Peter and I left to grab more supplies I handed Candace off to Devin. She didn’t like that I was leaving her with some stranger but it was riskier taking her with me to another realm. We grabbed a handful of coins from the treasure chest before leaving.

I had to force Peter to go shopping before we went and started having fun. He complied but was groaning behind me the entire time as I picked out new blankets, tarps, cots, clothes, and canteens to replace all the ones we lost. In the end we had to steal a cart just to lug everything.

“I only came because you said we’d have some fun. It’s been three hours now and I’m still bored to death.” Peter grumbled as he pulled the cart alongside me.

“We’re almost done.” I assured him, “We just need candlesticks and matches. Where do you think those are?”

“How should I know?”

“I thought you said you’ve been to this market before.”

“I’ve been to the inn.”

“I’m not gonna say anything.” I rolled my eyes as we walked past a string of vendors. “I take that back, was the whore you shacked up with the last time you were here happen to be the candlemaker’s daughter because I cannot find the shop anywhere.”

I turned around but Peter was gone. “Peter? Peter?”

I spotted our cart near the corner and saw Peter browsing in a shop. There was a woman that looked to be in her late thirties showing him an array of pencil and charcoal sets. “Ahem,” I stepped up behind him, “I thought you were tired of shopping.”

“For dreadfully boring stuff.” He picked up a wooden case filled with pencils, quills, and an ink pot.

“You gonna get it?” I asked, “If you want it then get it. We have enough money.”

“No, just thought I’d look at it. We need more important things.” he set the case back down. “Do you know where the candle shop is?” He asked the lady.

“Down this lane, take a right, it’s next to the flower shop.” the woman explained.

“Thanks.” Peter walked out of the shop and headed in the direction of the candlemaker.

~~~

After Y/N was done buying the supplies Peter and her settled down at the local tavern for her promised drinks. Currently he was trying to show her how to down a shot to hilarious results.

“You are hopeless. You have to shoot it back not nurse it.”

“I tried the first time, it burned my throat.”

“Come on pet, stop being such a princess.” he poured her another shot. “Go.”

“You’re just trying to get me drunk and you should know that no amount of alcohol is going to get what you want from me.” she took the shot a bit easier this time but still coughed. “Can we stop with the shots? I’m just not getting it.”

“You are no fun.”

“I am tons of fun.”

“Prove it. You said we’d celebrate however I wanted and this is how I want to celebrate.”

“Not my words but I did say we celebrate.” she reached into her pocket and pulled out a little wooden box. It was the same one from the parchment shop Peter had looked at earlier. “Consider this a celebratory gift.”

“I told you I didn’t want it.”

“When do I ever listen to you? You treat yourself all the time, this time it’s my turn.” she pushed the case closer, “Take it. You’re gonna need it.”

“Why would I need it? I already copied down the Believer’s face.”

“Not for that. I know you like to draw. No one gets as good as you without practicing a lot. You just don’t because it’s not the kind of activity the others expect you to enjoy. Stop being the fearless Peter Pan and just be you once in awhile.” she handed him a ream of fresh parchment tied neatly together with string.

“I will take this if you chug a mug of mead right now.”

“How about this. You take it, I’ll chug the mead, but you also have to draw me a new picture since Candace burned my last one.”

“Deal. Two meads.” the bartender set two steins in front of them, “You go ahead and start and I’ll get started on this.”

“I am going to hate myself in the morning.”

“Should we get a room?” Peter asked as she started taking gulps of the frothing drink.

“You had better. I’m not going back to Neverland like this.” she grimaced in dismay at the half drunken glass, “Two rooms. I am not sharing a bed with you again.”

“One of these days you will.” Peter took a sip from his own drink.

“Yeah but we won’t be sleeping.” Y/N muttered and Peter choked. He caught the devious smirk on her face as she downed the rest of her mug. “There, now get drawing.”

“As the lady wishes,” He picked up one of the freshly sharpened pencils and set a piece of paper on the bar. What to draw? Last time he had just given her a portrait of herself but seeing as how she was leaning tipsy on the bar that didn’t seem the best muse.

Y/N is a strange one. Without any effort she can worm her way into his mind and make him do whatever she wants. Keep the phoenix that burnt down the camp? Of course you can. Come shopping for supplies for hours when he had more important matters to attend to? Sure. Get some drinks and stay the night but with little to no chance of finally having sex? Why not!

He knew he had to respect her. Not doing so came with consequences. What he couldn’t stand was how she knew that she had a certain level of control over him. She knew and she stretched it. She crawled and fought her way into not only being his best friend but also his most trusted confidant and second in command finally knocking Felix from his long running position. She had her own little posse that were more her followers than Peter’s anymore. She was dangerous, strong, clever, sly, and confidant. He didn’t want to think what she could do if she knew magic. If he didn’t know any better he’d be scared she might try to overthrow him on the island. His vicious little Lost Girl.

There she sat giggling to herself and stealing sips from his drink. She had brought him out to celebrate and she was getting drunker than him very fast. “Slow down, pet.” he pulled the mead away from her, “You’re gonna make yourself sick.”

“I’m fine,” her words slurred slightly, “You really think I don’t know my limits?”

“The last time you drank this heavily was years ago. You don’t know the meaning of pacing yourself.” he took a long pull from the mug.

“Who’s the fuddy duddy now?” she leaned heavily on him, “I thought you was drawing me something. There’s nothing there.”

Peter stared back at the blank paper. “Just not inspired enough I suppose. Come on Y/N, I think you’ve had enough.”

“No.” she pushed off him and almost fell off the barstool, “I think I want to try another shot. Get me another shot.”

The bartender gave her an amused smile before setting a shot of whiskey in front of her. She picked it up and shot it back as if she was doing it for years. “See? I got this.”

“If you say so.” Peter packed the pencil set and parchment away, “You stay here, I’m gonna go get us a room. Okay?”

“Yes sir.” she gave a salute that threw herself into another round of drunken giggles. He was going to love lording this over her when she was sober again.

“Good girl. No more shots.”

“Fuddy duddy.” she stuck her tongue out at him before stealing his mug again.

Peter left to get the room. He knew better than to leave her alone and got a room with two beds for the night. He also paid off the tab for all the booze Y/N drank. The whole exchange plus a quick check to make sure their cart was still outside in the stables couldn’t have taken more than ten minutes. He grabbed the key to the room and went to collect Y/N.

When he got back to the bar though his Lost Girl wasn’t where he had left her but instead was hanging off some redheaded clotpole in a corner like some common floozy. Without a moment’s warning he tore the guy off her and pushed him away. “Whoa, what’s your problem?” the guy snarked.

“Back off before you do something you’ll regret.” Peter threatened through clenched teeth.

“Petey, what’s the big idea?” Y/N glared at him, “Why you gotta ruin my fun?”

“I am never taking you drinking again.” Peter muttered to himself and pulled her towards the stairs. “Let’s go.”

“No!” she ripped his arm from him and stumbled back into the redhead. “I was having fun with...this guy.”

“Sorry, looks like the lass has made up her mind, Petey.” the idiot mocked.

“Big mistake.” Peter used his magic and the guy’s neck snapped with a sharp crack. The inn fell into silence as they took a moment to process the dead body on the ground. “Upstairs, now!” he growled as he pulled a stunned Y/N up the steps and shoved her into the room. He doubted anyone would come to throw them out unless they wanted to run the risk of getting killed too.

“Way to go. I finally get some attention and you break his neck.” Y/N pouted as she collapsed back on the one bed. “You’re such a prat.”

“I’m the prat?” he snarled, “What the hell were you doing acting like a tramp for? I thought you were too good to let alcohol affect your judgement.”

She rolled her eyes and started to tug off her boots. “So what? You can go off slipping it to other girls but the second I lay eyes on some other boy and you get all jealous? Hypocrite.”

“I ain’t slipping it to other girls and you know that. There’s no reason for you to be looking at any other guys because if you want that kind of attention you just come to me. Got it?”

“Blah, blah, blah,” she chucked a boot at him, “You’re not so special y’know? Really looking what’s the difference between what he was doing and what you do?”

“Well how’s this for comparison?” he crossed the room and pushed her back on the bed. He pinned her arms up by her head before pressing a hungry angry kiss against her mouth. He was half expecting her to throw him off but given her drunken state she instead kissed him back.

Y/N broke her arms free and wrapped them around his neck to pull him closer. She was certainly stronger when she was drunk and a lot more clingy. All of which was fine with him.

She reached to tug off his shirt. “Not yet,” he pulled back away from her, “No need to rush things we have all night, pet.”

“I thought you liked me.” she mumbled.

“I do.” he pulled her up into his lap, “But you have to let me lead this time.”

“Okey dokey,” she ran her hands through his hair.

The heavy stench of alcohol on her breath hit him like a runaway carriage. She is really drunk isn’t she? Like, probably won’t remember most of what’s going on tomorrow level drunk. A part of him, a very loud part, told him to take advantage of this like he had been hoping to. Another very annoying voice told him that if he went through with this she would never forgive him.

“Son of a bitch…” he pushed her back. She gave him a confused look. “Sorry my dear, not tonight.”

“Huh?” she nestled closer into him batting her eyelashes, “Don’t you want me? Cause I want you. I really really want you.” she leaned in to kiss him again.

“I know you do.” he grabbed her wandering hands, “But you are very drunk and in the morning you won’t remember any of this. When we do get to it I want you to be able to remember every second of you giving into me and wanting me. Okay?”

“Boo!” she pushed off his lap and fell on the floor.

“Come here,” he helped her back up and set her on the bed, “Get some sleep.”

She rested back against the bed before the sound of her soft snores assured Peter she was fast asleep. He fell back against the other bed with a sigh. One day he’ll mute that stupid conscience of his for good. That didn’t mean that he couldn’t have a little fun. He looked back at Y/N as a devious thought drifted into his mind.

~~~

Oh sweet lord above. My head is killing me. I sat up slowly feeling like I was gonna be sick. I am never drinking ever again. This has to be a hundred times worse than the last time Peter and I went drinking. At least this time I didn’t do anything embarrassing. Or did I? I can’t remember much of anything.

I squinted against the harsh light streaming in through the window. Where was Peter? I could use a magical hangover cure. “Look who finally woke up.” Peter was sitting at the small desk near the door. “And it certainly is a good morning.” he eyed me hungrily.

“What are you--” I looked to where he was staring and yelped. I pulled the blanket up to cover my bare chest. Why the hell am I naked? “Peter? What happened last night?”

“You don’t know? I would have thought it was a night well worth remembering.” he smirked at me.

“Oh god,” I buried my aching head in my hands, “Did we…?”

“I’ll let you come to your own conclusions.” he reclined back in the chair. “After all last night you wanted me. Really, really, wanted me. Who am I to deny my Lost Girl what she wants?”

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” I rolled off the bed.

“Now that’s just harsh.”

“No, I mean I’m actually--” I clasped my hands over my mouth as a wave of nausea swept over me. I threw the window open and heaved over the side. Once the contents of my stomach were gone I sunk down to my knees and pressed my burning face against the cool wooden sill. “Kill me…”

“How about this instead?” he pressed his hands to either side of my head as my hangover started to abate. “If this was gonna be your reaction I’m glad I didn’t actually go through with it.” Peter tsked.

“What?”

“Y/N, do you actually believe that you and I had sex last night? I know you were pretty far gone but seriously, does anything feel different?”

Now that he mentioned it I didn’t feel any different. At least not in the way losing my virginity should feel I suppose. “But if we didn’t have sex, then why am I naked?”

“Just a bit of fun. I wanted to see how you’d react if you thought we really did the deed.” he dangled my knickers off his finger, “I guess you’ll be wanting these back.”

“You ass!” I snatched them from him as I rushed to put my clothes back on, “You inconceivably obnoxious asshole! Don’t do that!” I proceeded to smack him over the head with my boot.

“Hey! Ouch! Hey--Ow--Quit it!” he grabbed the boot out of my hands. “It was just a joke.”

“Not to me! You don’t joke about that kind of stuff with me!” I shouted at him. “You are so lucky that you didn’t actually go through with it because if you did--”

“You’d chop me into tiny bits and feed me to the wolves?” he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Hate me forever? Never forgive me?”

“Well...yes,” I shrugged, “But most of all I would just be disappointed that you wouldn’t have respected me enough to wait for my sober consent for something like that. I know it’s just sex but I have some self respect. I don’t need your opinion of me lowered any more by giving you an excuse to think of me as nothing more than some drunk common tramp.”

“Y/N,” he sighed with a smile, “If I thought you were just some common tramp last night would have ended much differently. But you are not. You’re my Lost Girl and all that implies. Also I just got you to start talking to me again, why would I risk your wrath by doing something so dimwitted as belittling your value to me?”

“I guess I have trouble remembering that you don’t hate me.” I sat down on the other bed and drew my knees to my chest.

“You aggravate me for sure.” Peter laughed, “You’re annoying and stubborn and nosey and incredibly disrespectful--”

“Does this have an ending anytime soon?” I snapped.

“Almost. You’re also very hot-tempered, reckless, condescending, cocky, but also very kind, thoughtful, protective of your friends, loyal, and intelligent. Also if it wasn’t obvious you are an attractive minx.” I hid my pleased smile behind my knees. He noticed and reached to pull my face from its hiding place. “What I’m trying to say is that all those tiresome and endearing traits of yours are what make you my Lost Girl. You’re my friend, I can detest you but I could never hate you. Not anymore at least.”

I cast my gaze around the room so he couldn’t see how happy his words made me. “I don’t hate you either.” I mumbled under my breath, “I know I say I do but I really don’t. Not even close.”

“I know.” he held my face in his hands pressing my forehead to his, “If there is anything I can do to ease your worrisome little heart that you are not in fact just some floozy to me, name it and it will be done.”

“Anything?” I quirked an eyebrow up at the generous offer.

“Within reason.” he was quick to add.

I let out a small chuckle as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Ironically, I can think of one thing.”

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#slowburn #peter pan ouat #ouat peter pan #neverland #ouat #peter pan imagine #peter pan x reader #told ya it would be a quick update!

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nuclearmu5hroom · 7 years

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Thanks for the tag @kittenbloodcoffee (boy this is a long one....)

THE LAST:  1. Drink: Grapefruit soda  2. Phone call: My sister and I was trying to give her directions to the Pagan Pride Fest I was at yesterday  3. Text message: Veggie Lo Mein and Gen Tso's Chicken (its whats for dinner)  4. Song you listened to: Right now at this very moment I'm listening to I'm Your Boogeyman by Rob Zombie  5. Time you cried: Like cry cry? or tear up and get moopy? cause I tear up several times a day over stupid stuff but I last genuinely cried when it was brought to my attention that my ex wanted to talk about our son living with him full time.

HAVE YOU:  6. Dated someone twice: I'm not entirely sure about what this means? Are you asking if I dated someone, broke up, then went back to them? Then yes, I've done that.  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes  8. Been cheated on: Yes  9. Lost someone special: 2 friends to suicide and another who I cant talk to because....reasons.  10. Been depressed: Yup, that bitch runs in my family  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes in my younger years. I'm too old for that shit now

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:  12-14: Blue, Purple and Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:  15. Made new friends: All my pockets frands on Tombler dot gov  16. Fallen out of love: Yes sadly.  17. Laughed until you cried: Have you ever considered using a penis as an exotic weapon in D&D? I died when we made the rules for this.  18. Found out someone was talking about you: Probably but I don't remember or actively blocked it out  19. Met someone who changed you: Yes. Its a tendency of mine to absorb characteristics of the people I meet in order for them to like me more.  20. Found out who your friends are: Secret friends? That sounds neat..if there is anyone who is my friend and they'd like to tell me come on down!!  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes. Several people.

GENERAL:  22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 99.9% of them.  23. Do you have any pets: I haz 1 itty bitty kitteh  24. Do you want to change your name: Nope I like mine just fine. I was named after a friend of my Mom's who joined the Circus.  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Got a PipBoy and the PC version of Fallout 4, my husband made me breakfast and we went out to dinner. It was a good day, tater.  26. What time did you wake up: 7:30, like most days  27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Came home from the movies. I got to see Pee Wee's Big Adventure in the theater!  28. Name something you can’t wait for: To hear back if Danny Shorago's gonna be at TooManyGames next year. That and my gaming PC and also my BodyKun/Chan mannikins  29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 2 1/2 years ago. I don't talk to her and don't wish to.  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My level of education. I really want to go to school for animation and illustration  31. What are you listening right now: Short Change Hero - The Heavy. (I am always listening to music. ALWAYS)  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yup, he's one of our managers at my work. Good guy, I like him.  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: American Politics and corruption (getting on my nerves is a bit of an understatement)  34. Most visited Website: Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter

LOST QUESTIONS. (I mean I just wrote about myself lol)  35. Mole/s: Molemolemolemolemolemolemolemolemole (yes I have a few <.<)  36. Mark/s: Stretch marks from mah bebbes, scars from self injury from years and years ago.  37. Childhood dream: I always wanted to be a Marine Biologist

38. Haircolor: At the moment its electric blue, but naturally its shit brown

39. Long or short hair: Short and shaved on the side and back  40. Do you have a crush on someone: Don't tell my husband but yes I do ^-^ (don't worry, its on a celebrity so nothing will ever happen lol)  41. What do you like about yourself: I got awesome legs and I'm kinda funny sometimes.  42. Piercings: I used to have SO MANY PIERCINGS! I had my right eyebrow, tongue, I had an industrial in my right ear, both nipples, navel, clitoral hood, aaannnnd labia.  43. Bloodtype: A+ and I always donate  44. Nickname: Mush (like Mush-chelle)  45. Relationship status: Married  46. Zodiac: Pisces  47. Pronouns: She/Her and I'm perfectly ok with they/them too

48. Favorite TV Show: Stranger Things  49. Tattoos: I have Princess Zelda covering my left bicep, the burning eye from Tool on my neck and a really shitty biker tattoo of a fairy that I got for free when I was 16. I plan on getting it covered up.......whenever.  50. Right or left hand: Righty  51. Surgery: Nope  52. Hair dyed in different color: See above - Its BLOOOOO  53. Sport: Hockey (Go Flyers!)  55. Vacation: My favorite vacation I ever went to was Disneyworld when I was 10. My dream vacation would be to see my Uncle Klaus and Omi in Germany  56. Pair of trainers: Converse. I have a black pair and a maroon pair

MORE GENERAL:  57. Eating: OMNOMNOMNOM (I love food)  58. Drinking: Til I PEEEE!  59. I’m about to: Drop the hottest mix tape this side of my 30s  61. Waiting for: a sense of the miraculous in everyday life (pfffffft HA!)  62. Want: A house  63. Get married: Already did. Wouldn't do it again.  64. Career: At the moment I am in QA for a small cable company. I like it a lot here, been doing it for 3 years now. The company is good and its loyal to its employees and I could see myself sticking through here as my day job until I retire. What I really want to do though is make my own cartoons.

WHICH IS BETTER  65. Hugs or kisses: Depends on the situation  66. Lips or eyes: Eyes yes  67. Shorter or taller: I want either pocket sized or so tall I cant see where you end. There is no in between  68. Older or younger: For what? I will be friends with anyone between the ages of 0-150  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice stomach arms

71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive. Come at me with loud noises and I will yell at you (which defeats the purpose of being quiet)  72. Hook up or relationship: Relationships are nice cause they're stable but something about a hook up is hot af  73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I will see how much trouble can be tolerated without getting caught. I don't cross boundaries

HAVE YOU EVER:  74. Kissed a stranger: Yes. 28th birthday I did  75. Drank hard liquor: I plan to tonight  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Heaven help me if I ever lose my glasses. I am legally blind without them.  77. Turned someone down: Yarp.  78. Sex in the first date: Yeah. It was whatever  79. Broken someone’s heart: More than I care to admit  80. Had your heart broken: In a way that can never truly be mended (unrequited is the fucking worst)  81. Been arrested: Thankfully no

82. Cried when someone died: I cry when people across the planet die.  83. Fallen for a friend: Absolutely

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:  84. Yourself: Yeah I'm pretty cool sometimes.  85. Miracles: I'm in the middle of questioning this. Try again later.  86. Love at first sight: That's silly. I believe in lust at first sight but love requires time  87. Santa Claus: I'm a Mom so yes. Its written in the parenting rule book you have to.  88. Kiss in the first date: I kissed my husband on our first date. (and I tried to take him home but he said NO)  89. Angels: I believe in extradimentional contacts that have before been described as 'Angels'

OTHER:  90. Current best friends name: Emma (my sister), Toni, (my other sister who I wish was my sister)  91. Eye color: Blue! and I was happy to have passed my mutation to my kids too (both their dads have brown eyes throughout their entire families)  92. Favorite movie: MST3K: The Movie, Hot Fuzz, Pulp Fiction, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Three Amigos, I Heart Huckabees.

And now for the fun part!: I tag @ashleyanthrax, @slickmedici, @midnight14, @time4teabeesknees and @sonderingtrashcompactor

This is a long one so don't go out of your way if you dun wanna.

#stuff im tagged in #personal #tags

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manabingu · 7 years

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ManaTagged! Heyoo~

tagged by the sweet ♥ @rainbow-galaxy-supernova (sorry its overdue)

The last:

1.) Drink: Raspberry Milk Tea w/Lychee Popping Pearls

2.) Phone call: to @tyrestgwa earlier today via skype

3.) Text message: to @crystalwoodsart

4.) Song you listened to: Phoenix Ash’s Cover of JAP by Abingdon Boys School & Fome’s Cover of Count Zero by T.M. Revolution (SO FCKN GOOD)

5.) Time you cried: yesterday 8D during Wonder Woman ;U;o

6.) Dated someone twice: Tyrest is the first & only official dating. But me and @crystalwoodsart have been married practically since 6th grade. She is mY WAIFU!

7.) Been Cheated on: Thank Ra No!

8.) Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah.BUT I mean- iN DREAMS YES.

9.) Lost someone special: It’s a universal thing. Namely pets for me

10.) Been depressed: 8) Story of my LIFE! But I’ve been makin progress

11.) Gotten drunk and thrown up: I REFUSE to consume alcohol/drugs

12-14.) LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: Turquoise,Galaxy Print,Pastels/Silver tie

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15.) Made new friends: I’ve been blessed thanks to YT Idol w/new singer pals!

16.) Fallen out of love: Yeah...in high school I had so many talent crushes. Which I think is normal for theater kids. But I think I ended up with the correct person. He truly understands me. And though I sometimes wonder what would my life be if I had confessed my love to those others, I’m happy I waited for the person who accepted me just the way I am ;w;o

17.) Laughed until you cried: AS AN ABRIDGER, I am privileged to be surrounded by INCREDIBLY hilarious people & I love it!♥

18.) Found out someone was talking about you: YES. And BOY is it a trip when I find people are horrible trolls. I find out about sweet people who say super kind things about me or my work all the time. But when I get a heads up about backstabbers or people who get close for the wrong reasons, I put my guard up around them & just do my own thing. Because a path of jealousy, hatred & vengeance isn’t for me. Bullies can talk, but I’ll always ignore them.

19.) Met someone who changed you: Namely Tyrest,Crystal,Panda,Wraith10, @cozymochi (bows to her greatness), LordMoonstone, @kittykatsandbox, (FAB SENPAI) @ahsimwithsake & @laurathia who are 1 of 2 sets of adoptive internet parents I have XD and MOST RECENT OF ALL CEONN. If I hadn’t met Ceonn, my singing career journey wouldn’t have taken off.THANX

20.) Found out who your true friends are: YEP 8)! Sadly, just recently too...

21.) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Well, hispanic people greet each other by cheek kisses so I will say yes.

22.) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Everyone cuz my FB is family & IRL friends only ^^; BUT my ZEXAL Abridged has a FB

23.) Do you have any pets: My pet cockatiel Patchos 8D

24.) Do you want to change your name: No, but don’t mind having a stage name to be honest. I love stage names ^_^

25.) What did you do for your last birthday: Probably sang,drew & other stuff

26.) What time did you wake up: 9 or 10ish? I had to meet some friends today

27.) What were you doing at midnight last night: GAWKING at Gal Gadot

28.) Name something you cannot wait for:Anime Idol @ Metrocon, finally getting out more song covers/abridged stuff. And being stable again.

29.) When was the last time you saw your mother?: a few seconds ago

30.) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish that ONE thing didn’t happen & my family had the same wealth we shoulda had if luck was on our side. That & I wish I wasn’t afraid of certain things so I could progress faster.

31.) What are you listening to right now: Fome’s Covers,& MY own covers

32.) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeS?

33.) Something that is getting on your nerves: Hypocrites lately 8)

34.) Most visited website: Tumblr,Instagram,Twitter & YT are tied tbh

35-37.) Finished all of school: yeppers

38.) Hair color: Dark Chocolate Brown (I used swatches at Sally’s XD)

39.) Long or short hair: I enjoy having long princess hair, but I cut it recently QuQ woops. Mostly cuz I wanted to try a T.M. Revolution hairdo XD

40.) Do you have a crush on someone: I HAVE ANIMAY HUSbANDs/WAifUS

41.) What do you like about yourself: My voice range! I used to be SO self conscious as a kid, but eventually it became my greatest strength because it’s SO versatile it honestly I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my unique voice QuQ

42.) Piercings: My ears have been pierced since birth. Mom wanted it

43.) Blood type: O? I think was what it was? It’s been years lol

44.) Nickname: Mana & Ginga (to my singer friends)

45.) Relationship status: Taken by Tyrest (with Crystal on the side ;D heh)

46.) Zodiac sign: I am a proud Sagittarius ♐

47.) Pronouns: Her is fine, but I don’t mind He if I’m crossplaying (mostly Ginga). It’s kind of a weird thing for me cuz I’m genderfluid ;w; but if anything to avoid confusion, just go with feminine one XD cuz whatvs???

48.) Favorite TV show: ITS HARD. I like too many things.Non-Anime TV Show wise I watch mostly Trail & Error & Fresh Off the Boat. But Anime-wise: ZEXAL (but YGO in general), Darker Than Black, One Punch Man/Mob Psycho 100, Uta no Prince-sama, Saint Seiya/Omega, Tokyo Mew Mew, Kaleido Star, anything by CLAMP, Kamen Rider Gaim/Fourze, Death Note, Attack on Titan, Tokyo Magnitude 8.0, FMA...too many...I know I have more...

49.) Tattoos: NoPe

50.) Right or left hand: Righty

FIRST…

51.) Surgery: In 8th grade I almost died 8D! Ruptured appendix, 3 consecutive operations & all because the first time I went to the emrgency they sent me home & misdiagnosed me with stomach flu 8D HAH.HAH.HAAAA ;~~~;...

52.) Piercing: Ears only as mentioned previously

54.) Sport:I don’t do any.My fave is figure skating tho. I love Yuzuru Hanyu♥

55.) Vacation: Technically me comin to the U.S for the first time counts

56.) Pair of trainers: Is that slang for shoes???...uhh??

MORE GENERAL…

57.) Eating: I ate sushi at a Chinese Buffet called Giant Panda today

58.) Drinking: finished all the boba tea ;w;

59.) I’m about to: Sleep cuz it’s 1am xD

61.) Waiting for: Good news, & replies from a few emails I sent this week

62.) Want: To make my YT Channel flourish & master my voice

63.) Get married: With luck but I think a paper doesn’t dictate if you love a person or not. BECAUSE i wanna pursue singing/acting, I know I’ll always be traveling ;w; so that decision is hard. I mean we can be OFFICIAL via the paper thingy but like, I already know we’re together XD ffff lol

64.) Career: Singer/Actor/Voice Actor & Internet Personality maybe

65.) Hugs or kisses: Both ^o^...cuz honestly I’m a fluffy person ;w;o

66.) Lips or eyes: Both again...I Can’T HElP IT (deep down my thoughts are as swirly with flirtatious things...proly explains Ginga’s mannerisms)

67.) Shorter or taller: I’m short ;w; sniffs 5′1. Everyone else is a tree

68.) Older or younger: Depends on relationship type? Like I think having a partner at a relatively older age because I am anxious af & need someone older to guide me when I’m struggling, but don’t mind younger (but MATURE) person by 2 years max. But when it comes to friends, I befriend anyone who is kind-hearted. Because we can learn a lot from elders/ our youth

70.) Nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t mind either or but TMR is @U@

71.) Sensitive or loud: I’m drawn more to sensitive people because they have higher levels of compassion & kinder hearts.

72.) Hook up or relationship: Relationship cuz I’m loyal AF

73.) Troublemaker or hesitant: Egh...both have downfalls. Hesitant is safer tho

HAVE YOU EVER…

74.) Kissed a stranger?: Nope BUT if I become an actor, that is a thought that keeps me up at night XD cuz ...again...I’m loyal af ;-;

75.) Drank hard liquor?: EWW >_>

76.) Lost glasses contact/lenses?: YES. During a musical in 10th grade (Suessical I was Cat in the Hat) I was on a trampoline and THEY FLEW OFF MY FACE! And ....we never found em O_O...they vanished....

77.) Turned someone down?: Yeah...a bunch of creepy fanboys throughout the years... 8) unfortunately the downfall of being an internet person

78.) Sex on first date?: DEPENDS. I’m demisexual, so I’m attracted to personality/emotional bonds not physical appearances. So IF my emotions towards them is high enough, I dunno if things could happen? But usually I stay reserved cuz I need to feel like I honestly love the person THAT much.

79.) Broken someone’s heart?: Probably ;w;...2 old buddies. I knew they had crushes on me...but I just didn’t feel the same way towards them -actually someone ELSE admitted they had a crush on me last month so the count is now up to 3...AGH. I WISH they can find someone who will make em happy because I think they deserve it tbh. They’re good dudes.

80.) Had your heart broken?: Once yeah, an old childhood crush was honestly insensitive when I asked him if he ever felt something for me & he said “ehhh not really?” in a way that came off as insensitive XD?....yeah. But the MORE I thought about why I liked him, the more I realized I could NEVER be in a relationship with them cuz they were immature & didn’t know how to be serious.They don’t balance goofiness & sensitivity & I need a balanced person

81.) Been arrested?: NO

82.) Cried when someone died?: waterfalls of tears cuz I’m an emotional wreck

83.) Fallen for a friend?: yeah =w= a bunch of abridgers/singers hah. I get talent crushes ALL the time, but don’t act on it cuz I’m shy AND taken XD

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.) Yourself?: Usually...but I have many moments where I question if I’m good enough or worthy enough to be here ;w; gotta work on my Kattobingu

85.) Miracles?: Shining Draws should be real. But yeah miracles CAN happen

86.) Love at first sight?: FUYA OKUDAIRA 8D...and Takanori Nishikawa...and Mahiro Takasugi and Aoi Shouta tbh

87.) Santa Claus?: Elf is my favorite Christmas movie

88.) Kiss on the first date?: IT DEPENDS. But if it happens? AIGHT????

89.) Angels?: Yes \QwQ/! angels are real. @rosey-ballerina is one

OTHER….

90.) Current best friend’s name: Crystal is my bff & waifu but Tyrest too but honestly Kimmy, Panda & Ceonn are also tied with those 2

91.) Eye color: Brownies eUe

92.) Favorite movie: Finding Nemo, Big Hero 6,Lion King (all 3), All 3 Yu-Gi-Oh! Movies,The Emperor’s New Groove,Mrs. Doubtfire, Moana, Wonder Woman, Mary Poppins, Arrival, The Mummy, Matilda, Harry Potter, Pokemon 3,Hercules, Grave of the Fireflies, Antman, The Producers....and a few others

I tag: @t-chan @sylphwriter @eleanorose123 @ivmysterynumbers @zexalfangirl @shybunny @galaxyeyedphoton

#Mana Tagged #I HAVE A HARD TIME WIT FAVES TBH #I LIKE TOO MANY THINGS HONESTLY AGH ;w; sowies eeehhh I am indecisive AF

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snowonebutyou · 7 years

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tagged by - the greatest mexican specimen after dulce maría, @amysantigao. thank you mel! <3 rules - you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people tagging - my lovely nerds: @tryingtofindmyplacetoscream @mysterious-teen-blogger @mostgirls @pantslessgirlwonder @tinyolsen @katemcdreamy @agntlexiedanvers @ninth-on-eight @feijoalife @calliopestorres

the last 1. drink: guaraná 2. phone call: my mom 3. text message: charlie 4. song you listened to: katy perry’s witness 5. time you cried: friday 6. dated someone twice: i barely date people once, dude 7. kissed someone and regretted it: unfortunately 8. been cheated on: not that i know of but i don’t think so 9. lost someone special: my dad the reason i cried on friday 10. been depressed: i think so even though i never went to a doctor to get the official diagnosis 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: not proud of this but yeah

3 favorite colors 12. orange 13. purple 14. black

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: nope 17. laughed until you cried: i do this v often tbh 18. found out someone was talking about you: no 19. met someone who changed you: every person i know changes me 20. found out who your friends are: meh 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yesss

general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i think most of them 23. do you have any pets: my baby boy snow the cat 24. do you want to change your name: nah i like it 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to my cousin’s and half of my family plus some friends had some pizza and played uno 26. what time did you wake up: 6:26am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: singing my heart out drunkenly at a karaoke party 28. name something you can’t wait for: having a stable job and relationship 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: maybe an hour ago??? when we all had a meal together 31. what are you listening to right now: the man - the killers 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: not that i know of 33. something that is getting on your nerves: college tbh 34. most visited website: tumblr 35. hair colour: light brown 36. long or short hair: halfway there lol 37. do you have a crush on someone: ................... maybe 38. what do you like about yourself: my smile and personality 39. piercings: nope 40. blood type: b+ 41. nickname: isa, dora, isadorable, doors 42. relationship status: single but so fucking ready to mingle 43. zodiac: sagittarius 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favorite tv show: buffy the vampire slayer, xena the warrior princess, grey’s anatomy, dollhouse, charmed, friends 46. tattoos: none 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: yasss, on my mouth 49. piercing: my ears are pierced for earrings but i wish i had more, like beca mitchell 50. sport: soccer, handball, volleyball, any team sport tbh 51. vacation: it’s been so long idk what one looks like anymore 52. pair of trainers: what

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: i’m so full i can’t eat anything else 54. drinking: usually water 55. i’m about to: get up to get my water bottle lol 56. waiting for: the semester to be over 57. want: a girlfriend 58. get married: yeah, sure 59. career: anything medieval history related

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: both 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: shorter 63. older or younger: older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: idk and idc 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker ;)

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: yeah 68. drank hard liquor: hell yeah 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: i broke my first pair of glasses, does this counts? 70. turned someone down: yeah 71. sex on the first date: if we’re both into it why not 72. broken someone’s heart: yes and it’s the worst feeling ever 73. had your heart broken: not really, no 74. been arrested: i’m not that rad 75. cried when someone died: yeah 76. fallen for a friend: nah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: nOPE 78. miracles: yes 79. love at first sight: koi no yokan 80. santa claus: ........ maybe 81. kiss on the first date: hell yeah 82. angels: sure

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: @dumbacapellapotatoes 84. eye colour: hazel 85. favorite movie: pitch perfect franchise and basically every movie featuring drew barrymore and jennifer aniston

#the accuracy #MEL #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS #you know me so well #i love doing these #gracias cariño

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shipmistress9 · 5 years

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FTLOAP - 41: Don’t Let Me Go

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Rating: Explicit

FF-net - AO3 -

Discord-server for discussions and questions

Part 1: Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11;

Part 3: Chapter 34; Chapter 35; Chapter 36; Interlude 4; Chapter 37; Chapter 38; Chapter 39; Chapter 40; Interlude 5

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: Yay, we're back again! Thank you all for your patience.

This chapter... I'm going to say a little more at the end, but just this: It didn't turn out as I imagined it since last summer. But due to reasons, I had to change things, leave things out, or right out ignore entire points, so, yeah... I just hope it's still good enough.

As for the title... This too changed many times over the past year. I was never in a situation where I wouldn't have a title, it was more like I have too many that would fit. Up until last week, I was sure it would be Your Arms Are My Castle from Cascada's Every Time We Touch. But, well, things changes. A lot! So now it's from Don't Let Me Go - Acoustic by RAIGN. With the theme I Only Want You from the Castle TV-show as the underlying soundtrack... probably...

. o O o .

Hiccup reacted without even a heartbeat's hesitation. Without a doubt, that scream had come from Markor, and there were few reasons why he would scream like that. And none of them meant anything good.

Before anything else around registered in his mind, Hiccup rode Cassie to the side. A nudge of his heels and she was galloping freely past the general chaos of frightened horses and confused men, and towards the direction of the scream. He was so focused on getting there as quickly as he could that it took him a moment to notice Eret riding directly in front of him, and then to remember that him rushing to the Princess's aid like this might draw unwanted attention. But right now, none of that mattered, not when Astrid was in possible danger – and with Eret around, he even had a valid excuse anyway.

The sounds were coming from a small copse of aspen trees, and Hiccup directed Cassie to it. As they approached, he spotted Astrid quickly, her colourful dress standing out starkly against the muted browns and greens of the forest, even though she was covered in dirt, grass, leaves, and twigs. Thankfully no reds, though. She wasn’t moving as if injured, just impeded by her dress, as she crawled over the ground in a hurry towards–

His breath caught in his throat as his eyes followed her path and instantly took in what had happened. Markor was lying on the ground as well, and as Hiccup watched, was trying to get back on his feet, even as more cries of pain came from him. But Hiccup didn’t even need to take a closer look to know that, with an injured leg like that, the gelding would never stand again...

The realisation made new pain shoot into his heart, and not just for Astrid's sake but also for his own. Behind his mind’s eye, the months Hiccup had spent with the horse rushed past him in a heartbeat; how he’d first met the late yearling upon his arriving at the stud farm, how they’d built a bond of trust and friendship that had only grown stronger when Hiccup had trained him to be gifted to the Princess, and that first meeting in the stables months ago where rubbing down the gelding together had brought him and Astrid closer. All that were happy memories, memories Hiccup treasured – and now, there was no way to save Markor...

"Swanja, don't," cut Eret's voice into his mind. He'd dismounted Crusher and was already at her side, holding her back from the reeling horse. "Don't get any closer, he might hurt you."

"B-but I have t-to help him," she sobbed. "Please, I... let me..." She was fighting against Eret's arms around her, trying to get past him, but he wouldn't let her.

"We can't help him anymore," he implored. "Not with an injury like that. You know that, Swanja. All we can do now is end his suffering. Please, let me–"

"No! No, please no! You can't do that, please!" she wailed. However, she stopped fighting Eret, and as Hiccup dismounted, she turned and clutched at Eret’s tunic, her knuckles standing out white against the dark red fabric, and as he wrapped his arms around her, she sagged into his embrace and started to weep.

Hiccup just stood next to Cassie, watching it all with a sense of painful hollowness in his chest. He wanted to push his cousin away, to be the one to comfort her. He wanted her pain to go away, to distract her or offer her something to make it easier. But none of that was possible. It wasn't his place to hold her in his arms, not anymore, and there was no way to lessen her pain. His eyes flickered back toward the injured horse, and the lump in his throat grew even bigger. He knew what they had to do, and the sooner the better. But that didn’t mean he had to like it.

Hiccup glanced back at Eret just as his cousin cleared his throat and gave him an indicative nod. He knew that Eret would have done it himself, having spent his entire life around horses. But with Astrid still holding on to him as if he was all that kept her together he couldn't move, and they both knew that Hiccup knew what to do well enough, too.

With a curt nod, he took a dagger from his riding pack, hid it in his boot, and approached Markor, humming and with his hands raised to calm him at least a little bit. "Shh, it's okay, boy. It's okay. Calm down." The words came automatically and without him even thinking about them. He couldn't think right now anyway, could only function. He had a task to do. With the soothing noises and the familiar hands on his head, Markor soon calmed down until he lay still with only the occasional low whinny. For a minute, Hiccup kept stroking his fur and talked in a low voice, further calming the large horse while his left hand reached for the hidden dagger. It was done quickly, just one well-placed movement, and only a few heartbeats later, Markor lay entirely still.

Behind him, he could hear Astrid cry out again and Eret's low whispering, but in that moment, neither of that truly reached him. Instead, the words from his dream suddenly echoed through his mind again.

“You can hold your beloved in your arms again. But first, you will end the life of someone dear to her.”

Hiccup's breath caught in his throat as he stared down into Markor's lifeless eye, at his own hands covered in blood. Could this be it? Was this what the Goddess had meant? But how?

Slowly, he shook his head. He'd thought he'd have to kill someone who was in their way. He’d struggled for hours whether he could do that, whether he could become a murderer just to be with her again, and whether he'd even still be worthy of her if he did. His mind had conjured up one scenario after the other in which him killing someone who was about to stop them might be acceptable, self-defence, but they all had felt hollow and surreal.

But now that he thought about it... that hadn't been what the Goddess had said. She hadn't said that he'd ‘have to kill someone to be with her’. No, she'd only said that ‘he would end a life before he could hold her again’.

A low sob escaped him and he slumped down until his head rested against Markor's. "I'm so sorry," he gasped into the still-warm fur. "You didn't deserve this." But none of this was about what anyone deserved, the slightly more practical part of him realised. Markor's death hadn't been a condition for their happiness, just something that would happen before they could hope again.

But still, he found himself wishing it had been something else. It wasn't that he wanted Eret or Daniel or anyone else to die – but he hadn't wanted Markor to die either, and even though he understood that it made no logical sense to blame himself, he felt guilty nonetheless. Foresight was a painful gift indeed...

Hiccup had no idea how long he'd knelt there next to Markor's still body. He wasn’t paying attention to what was happening around him beyond the assurance that Eret would care for Astrid, so he flinched when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.

"Hey, you better get up," Dagur muttered in a gloomy voice. When Hiccup looked up, a hint of confusion in his empty eyes, he added, "We're all heading back. And Uncle Osmond decided that Swanja is to ride with you."

From one breath to the next, Hiccup's heartbeat accelerated from barely there to a stampede. "What?" he gasped, his eyes unerringly darting to where she was still hiding from everyone against Eret's chest.

"Don't ask me," Dagur replied with a shrug. "She was about to ride with Eret, but there was something about not giving advantages, and... I don't know, but this is what the King decided."

With his mind reeling, Hiccup struggled to stand back up onto his legs, and stumbled as his left cramped. Only Dagur's quick reaction kept him from falling again.

"Careful there. And... can I give you a bit of free advice?" He waited, and when Hiccup didn't object seemed to take that as agreement. "First, you should be careful. I know that she wouldn't mind the touch of a friend, but they’re all looking for something to discredit Eret with. You better make sure not to touch her more than absolutely necessary, or this all might turn into an even bigger mess. And second... well... you might want to clean up before you go over there."

Dagur gestured down at his hands, and when Hiccup’s followed the gesture, he found them still covered in red. Mechanically, he nodded. "Yes… Yes, I'll..."

"There's a stream over there," Dagur pointed helpfully. "But you better hurry, we're all just waiting for you."

Hiccup nodded again, then staggered in the direction Dagur had indicated, quickly finding the stream. The water was cold, but it felt good after the heat of Markor’s blood, and he cleaned his hands as best he could, not wanting to upset Astrid further by letting her see any traces. That done, he headed to where the others were waiting for him. Upon Eret's sign, he mounted Cassie then made room for Eret to lift Astrid up until she sat in front of him. And only then did the full weight of what was happening truly hit him.

She was going to ride with him? The whole way back to the castle, the entire two hours? And he wasn't to interact with her in any way, let alone touch her? How was he supposed to do that, when all his heart, mind, body, and soul longed for was to hold her close and never let go of her again?

With his entire body trembling, he led Cassie until they rode in the centre of the group of guards assigned to them. The stern looks the men gave them only reinforced Dagur’s warning – they wouldn’t treat any breach of decorum lightly, not in Astrid’s currently brittle state. So he was careful to keep his arms in an awkward half-bent and raised manner, holding Cassie’s reigns without touching Astrid – even as the mayweed scent wafting from her hair made him dizzy and he had to fight the urge and longing to hold her tight at every single second. Again and again, he kept reminding himself that this wasn’t the right place to do so, not with so many people watching them...

–and not without knowing how she feels about me, he realised with a start. It was two weeks now since they’d last talked of some sort, one week since she’d at least moved on a little and had turned to Eret for comfort. For Hiccup, last night had been a turning point, the realisation that he couldn’t simply give up on them and the revelation that there still was hope… But that didn’t mean that she felt the same.

“You can hold your beloved in your arms again.”

Holding her in his arms… Wasn’t that what he was doing right now, in a way at least? Was this all the Goddess had referred to? Had Markor died just for him to spend this last ride with her?

A shiver ran down his spine and he choked back a sob as a spark of desperation rose inside him. Was it possible that he’d deceived himself like this, that this ride was all they would ever get? But no, that couldn’t be. That hadn’t been all the Goddess had said. She’d also said that there was always hope, that he only had to do what came naturally to him, and that he would hold his prize in his arms if he did the Gods’ work – whatever that would be.

He would have to hold onto that thought, or he would lose his mind.

However, the question about how she thought about him was burning at the front of his mind, especially as her face was nothing but a stony mask with rivulets of silent tears running down her cheeks. He wished he could ask her or even comfort her in any way... but that wasn’t possible. Not now, not when they were surrounded by so many people, with so many eyes watching them intently for any slip-ups.

And thus went the ride; Hiccup felt every moment as they blurred together like grains of sharp glass under his bare feet, each one distinct and painful, yet identical to the others, as they stretched on and on... He didn’t even try to distract himself from the thought of how the only thing separating them was their clothes and a finger width's space between them, knowing that that would be futile anyway. With every step Cassie made, they swayed and shook, just a little but it was enough for her shoulders to brush against his arms or for her hair to tickle at his neck every now and then. It was wonderful and agonising at the same time, being so close to her and yet unable to do or say anything. All he could do to ward off the rising desperation in his heart was to focus on his love for her, on the warmth and tenderness and comfort, and try to send all those emotions through their bond, hoping that they might reach her…

… and to pray for a miracle, for a chance to talk to her – before it was too late.

. o O o .

Astrid felt as if she would break apart at any moment now.

No, that wasn’t true. She’d already fallen apart. It was only her well-trained mask that followed Tuff through the corridors and to her rooms, while inside she'd already crumbled into a million tiny pieces.

This day… she’d looked forward to and dreaded it at the same time. The ball tonight with her unofficial choice was supposed to give her comfort, stabilising her in the path she’d taken. But the closer the day had come the more simply thinking about it, about renouncing everything that had been between her and Hiccup, had seemed impossible. And the ride… The ride had been a gift from Eret to her. It had been meant to be at least a tiny bit of freedom, of doing what she loved amidst this entire mess. Contrary to what she’d told her father, she had been looking forward to spending a few hours on Markor’s back, even with knowing that the pace and the company would be annoying.

But now, the ride had turned into her worst nightmare, and within only a few short moments everything had changed. Thuggory approaching her and his stallion snapping at Markor who'd already been skittish all day. Him shying away from any stallion had happened so often before and she’d always known how to rein him in again. But today, with her heart and mind being entirely somewhere else and with the cursed side-saddle having given her less control, she hadn’t been fast enough – hadn’t been good enough. She hadn’t been able to keep him calm, Markor had run away from his attacker, and the only thing Astrid had been able to do about it had been holding on to him as best she could. Then she’d lost her balance as the broad back beneath her had suddenly dropped. She’d fallen, landing painfully on the ground, and that scream…

It had all happened so fast and she barely remembered anything of what had happened afterwards, but that sound… Never in her life would she be able to forget that scream.

When they reached her chambers, Astrid barely registered how Tuff warded off any questions his sister tried to ask her. Instead, she stumbled past her maidservant and… she didn’t even think about where to go. It seemed inevitable, like there was only one place to go, one object that could soothe her in her current state.

Unable to hold herself on her legs any longer, she slumped down into the chair in front of her desk. Her fingers were trembling when she opened the lid to her treasure chest but still didn’t waver as they reached for her trusted music box. The familiar tune would help her, it always did. She just needed a few minutes to pull herself together again, just watching the tiny dancer for a few rounds. Surely, this would centre her enough to, somehow, survive the ball and everything attached to it.

Taking the music box out of the coffer and getting it started happened without her even having to think about it. But even as she was doing that, her eyes had fallen on another object in her box, a simple object that was still able to stir up new emotions inside her whenever she looked at it: the wooden carving of a horse that looked so much like Markor and that Hiccup had given her – as a reminder.

Astrid’s entire body shook as she fought to keep her feelings locked deep inside her. She couldn't let them loose, not ever, or she wasn't sure whether she would be able to contain them again. But...

Markor – her beloved horse, Eret's gift, the witness to those first hours she'd spent with Hiccup, the tiny grasp of freedom her father had granted her – was dead! Nothing could return him to her. She would never see him again, never hear his happy snort when she came to visit him, never again feel the warmth of his fur beneath her hands or the simple comfort they could give each other when he playfully rubbed his nose against her chest. And she hadn't even been able to say goodbye.

A desperate sob tore itself from her throat at that realisation, of how utterly insurmountable it was to retrieve what was lost forever. How was she supposed to pull herself together enough for the ball? It was only an hour or two before she would have to be presentable and face all those men again. It felt impossible, and she wasn't sure whether her soothing music box would be enough.

On the pure reflex of having done the same motion countless times before, she reached out to shake the music box as it approached the usual sticking point in the music – except that it didn't get stuck.

Because Hiccup had repaired it.

With wide eyes, Astrid gazed at the music box, at the tiny dancer as it twirled in time with the unfamiliar tune. She could feel it as the last dam insider her cracked at that moment. All she got out was a weak whimper before the flood wave of sorrow crashed down on her, drowning her in all those memories and emotions she'd tried to lock away forever.

Hiccup.

She'd forbidden herself to think about him. For roughly a week now, she'd tried to convince herself that she was okay, or would be at least. That she could be happy with Eret, could live a life other than at his side. But she'd been deceiving herself, she now realised – and probably had known it the entire time.

Even when she'd tried to focus on talking to Eret or had found some form of comfort in his closeness, she'd still been so aware of Hiccup, of where exactly he stood or whether he was in the same room at all. Even without her help, her eyes had wandered through the room only to glide over him in passing, never lingering but unable to stay away from him either. Yes, she'd been a fool… but it had taken this day to realise it.

Losing Markor had hurt like nothing else – and still did – but in a strangely different way, the ride back to the castle had hurt just as much. Hiccup had been so close! His warmth had radiated toward her even without him touching her, and his breath on her neck had sent pleasant shivers down her spine. It could have been perfect; she'd just needed to lean back a tiny little bit then she could have basked in his embrace, could have imagined his love and comfort around her like a blanket. She could have imagined that there was still hope for them.

But there was no hope.

Hiccup had made it clear that, no matter how much they both might long for it, there was no way for them. He'd given up. And no matter how desperate she still might be for there to just be something, his behaviour today had proven that nothing had changed. He hadn't even made a single attempt at talking to her or holding her; not even a hug or the comforting words of a friend. Just silence and distance despite the longing she thought she'd felt thrumming through their bond.

It was then when she broke down for real, half-draped across her desk and with the melody of the music box taunting her until it ran out. She cried, harder and more abundantly than even during the nights before. Markor was lost forever and so was Hiccup and their future. Over and over her mind circled around the same thoughts, unable to find a way out.

She couldn't go on any longer. Markor was dead. Her future with Hiccup was lost. And yet, every fibre of her being still longed for him, his warm embrace, his sweet kisses, and the ease and comfort of simply being with him. She needed him like she needed the air to breathe. She couldn't go on any longer…

. o O o .

Astrid stood at the head of the big ballroom, hidden from everyone by a thick curtain. She only dimly recalled how she’d gotten here; Ruff had eventually shaken her out of her stupor and whispered the only words that still held some meaning.

For Eret.

Her own life had no worth to her, not anymore. All she still could do was help to make her best friend's life easier. It was only a small comfort, but it would have to be enough. It was all that was left to her. So she'd let Ruff make her presentable; she'd gotten her hair and makeup in order and had dressed her in the most extravagant outfit Astrid had worn so far; the bust had a beautiful intricate pattern of different shades of blue, ranging from dark midnight to a rich sky blue, while the skirt was made of countless layers of the lightest silk she'd ever seen, floating around her like a cloud of nearly white light blue. Her silver swan coronet and a pair of silken dark-blue gloves that reached up to her elbows completed her appearance, and under different circumstances, she probably would have complimented the exquisite handiwork of the dressmaker.

Now though, she simply stood there behind her curtain, apathetically waiting for her sign to join the celebrating crowd. She could hear them talking and laughing, and there was music too, many couples certainly dancing already.

A part of her wanted to charge into the room and scream at them all; how could they celebrate on a day like this?

But, of course, to them, nothing bad had happened today. Nothing but a small accident with no casualties except for a dumb horse. Nothing serious. Nothing but exciting gossip on this day of socialising and forming bonds. There was a reason the invited guests had also brought their daughters, after all; with so many eligible noblemen looking for a bride, her unofficial choice tonight would certainly discourage some of those who'd been courting her, enough so that they might turn their attention to other young noblewomen instead. Hers wouldn't be the only betrothal that would soon be celebrated.

Astrid was torn between hating having to wait here and dreading the moment she would have to step in front of the crowd. People would expect a decision from her – and she wasn't ready! How could she ever be ready to renounce their divine connection? But all too soon, the music paused and with a whispered "It's your turn now, milady. Make me proud," her governess shooed her out of her hiding place. If Astrid had possessed the energy, she would have wanted to scratch the woman’s eyes out for her words. But as it was, all she could do was mutely take her place at her father's side, her heart nearly jumping out of her chest, and she felt dizzy as all eyes in the room turned toward her. She was sure that the King said some important-sounding words, announcing the next dance to be ladies' choice with only implying the deeper meaning of her choice, but she didn't hear any of it.

Slowly, as if in a trance, she took the couple of steps leading down from the dais to the dance floor. She couldn't hear anything over her blood rushing through her ears, could barely see more than blurry faces swimming in a sea of meaningless colours. And then, even those were gone, and even though she could feel her body moving on, the scene playing out behind her mind's eye was another.

“One day, we will dance together,” he promised, murmuring against her skin. “I’ll come to you, open and for everyone to see, and ask you for a dance. Maybe they would stare and wonder, but it won’t matter. There will be only you and me. Forever.”

Astrid chuckled at his mellow words, even as the picture they painted was a beautiful one. “What makes you think you’ll be the one to ask?” she replied, and turned her head to seek his skin with her lips. “Maybe it’ll be ladies’ choice. I’d walk along the line of waiting men, not seeing any of them, only you…”

A hiccupy sob tore itself from her chest before she could hold it back and recompose herself. Oh, how she wished those words from what seemed to be another life could become reality.

Without her help, her eyes landed on his and for the first time in days stayed there as she kept walking along the line of watching people. And what she saw there nearly broke her all over again. She saw his longing that found its echo in her own heart, saw his love and warmth just like she felt it all thrumming in her chest. She had no doubt that he'd remembered their conversation about dancing together just now too, knew that he wanted it to be real just like she did.

But that was impossible. This wasn't about what they wanted anymore, and never had been. There was no hope for their dream of a shared future, and indulging in this wish of at least dancing with him this one time would only cause problems, possibly even his death.

There was no hope...

She'd almost reached him before she managed to squelch those thoughts and turn her eyes away from him. It was lucky, really, that Eret would stand right next to him, or people would have wondered why she'd come here in the first place. With her last strength, she turned her head, her hollow eyes finding those of her friend. Her hand reaching out to him was only half asking him for the dance; the other half was seeking something to hold on to as the entire room started to spin around her.

She felt as if she was falling; when Eret took her hand, when he led her back into the middle of the room, even when the music started and they began to move in time with the melody. She was falling, falling, falling, and not even Eret's arms around her were able to hold her anymore. The whole room around her was spinning faster and faster, and not just because of their dancing. Everything around her was nothing but a blur – except for one single face amidst the crowd, the only face she would always find, no matter what. He was moving, walking away from the dancefloor and the crowd and toward the large glass doors that led out into the garden. Before he left her sight, however, he turned and their eyes met once more.

And the way he looked at her… sadness and pain mixed with desperate longing, the same turmoil of emotions she was feeling too. But there was also something else, something more, another emotion she couldn’t quite name right away. It took her another moment or three, time in which he slipped out of the room, before she understood. And when she did, the sensation of falling and of the world around her spinning too fast became even worse.

Hiccup had looked disappointed.

As if he’d hoped!

It was all too much... Astrid couldn’t take any more, and from one moment to the other, everything around her turned black...

. o O o .

Astrid awoke to a mild headache, a bitter taste on her tongue, and the room still spinning around her. It wasn’t as bad as before though, which was good. She blinked, trying to clear her head and remember what had happened. But after walking past the waiting men, there was nothing.

The room around her was only dimly lit by a small lamp somewhere to her side. It wasn't her bedroom that much was clear, but it took her a moment before she realised where she was: in one of the smaller parlours that were attached to the ballroom and that usually provided space for people to talk more privately. Someone must have brought her here, after…

"Are you feeling better, milady?"

Astrid flinched at those words – she'd thought she was alone – but it was just Ruff who leaned over her, concern clear on her face. Instead of an answer, Astrid tried to sit up, groaning, and only managed when Ruff took hold of her hand and shoulder to help her up.

"Careful, don’t rush it now. You’ve been out for about twenty minutes. Here, drink this and give yourself a few minutes before you get up." She handed her a glass of watered wine, but also placed her other hand on her shoulder to keep her from standing up.

Astrid accepted the glass gratefully and took a careful sip. She could practically feel how her body absorbed the liquid; had she eaten or drunk anything at all since breakfast? She couldn’t remember. After a minute or so of silence, she asked in a weak voice, “What happened?”

Ruff watched her with a concerned grimace. “You fainted during your opening dance with Eret. He caught you – which, granted, wasn’t too hard with you already being in his arms, I guess – and directly brought you here. I’m a little impressed, actually. Another man would have gotten annoyed at this grand moment – your first official dance as nearly-betrothed – getting interrupted. But he acted more like an apprehensive mother hen; it got so bad that I sent him away to fetch… whatever I was thinking about at that moment. Tuff is guarding the door, so you can rest here until you feel better. He won’t let anyone in for now.”

Astrid nodded mutely and slowly sipped her wine, her lips twitching into something like a faint smile at Ruff’s words. She wondered how Tuff would react if the King himself demanded entrance – not that that was very likely – and was fairly sure that her warder would even try to keep him away if he thought it necessary.

As she drank, memories of what had happened before her blackout slowly came back to her though, even if only in fractions. The sensation of falling, and a single face in a sea of colours with an impossible expression on it. He’d made it clear that there was no hope left for them, no chance of ever being together. And yet, he’d been disconcerted when she turned to Eret after all. He still hoped!

“I need to talk to him,” she murmured, startling Ruff when her words broke the silence between them. She placed the glass on a low side table and pushed herself up onto shaky legs, her eyes darting to where another set of doors led into the gardens, before Ruff could hold her back. She couldn’t let anyone hold her back now! If there was even the tiniest bit of hope left for her and Hiccup, then she had to take it.

“Wait, wait,” Ruff tried to interfere hastily. “Who do you mean? Eret? I can tell Tuff to call him in, no problem. No need for you to–”

Astrid interrupted her. “No, I don’t mean Eret.”

She didn’t elaborate, just threw her maidservant a desperate look. Ruff had witnessed her crying into her pillows night after night; she had to know who she was talking about. And she clearly did. Astrid could see the understanding dawn in her eyes. Her hand on Astrid’s shoulder tightened, and for a second, it seemed as if she would hold her back, would call Tuff back in and whoever else might be waiting for her to come back to her senses. One witness, and Astrid sneaking out into the night would become impossible. But then she drew her hand back and gave her a tight nod.

“Go. Do what you have to; Tuff and I will buy you as much time as we can.”

Astrid swallowed, touched by Ruff’s words. She’d never doubted the twins’ loyalty to her, and after learning that they’d known about her sneaking away but hadn’t told anyone, Astrid had begun to understand that this loyalty was stronger than she’d thought. But only now did she realise just how deep in really went. She would have to find a way to thank them later. But for now, all she could do was breathe a heartfelt, “Thank you,” before slipping out into the night. The cool air bit into the skin of her bare upper arms; maybe it would have been more prudent to take some form of cloak with her, but she didn’t care. She had no idea how much time she would have; she wouldn’t waste what she had with something that trivial.

Logically, she should have been worried whether Hiccup would even still be out here or how she was supposed to find him among the ample labyrinth of hedges and flower beds and bushes and trees. But somehow, she knew exactly where to find him; it was just like it had been in that first night, Eret’s accolade, when some inner sense had told her where he was at any moment. Maybe it was the separation that had let their bond intensify like this or it was the Gods’ interference that guided her, she didn’t know – but she also didn’t care. All she cared about was that she could feel how she got closer to him with every step or turn, that it would only be a matter of a few more heartbeats, until–

She stopped dead in her tracks when she reached an opening amidst the hedges and spotted him standing at the other end, only a handful of steps away from her. So close and they were entirely alone out here. This was exactly what a part of her – the part that still was and always would be his Astrid – had longed for ever since he’d fled from the armoury almost two weeks ago; the chance to talk freely, to be just them again.

But now that it was here, she didn’t know what to do or say. He’d clearly noticed her arrival; his shoulders had visibly tensed and, surely, he had felt her approach just like she had felt him, too. He didn’t react though, didn’t say or do anything, and for a moment, Astrid feared she might have read too much into that moment of shared desperate looks. What if she’d been wrong, if nothing had changed? She wasn’t sure whether either of them would be strong enough to live through another meeting like their last one.

So she stood still, eyes fixed on his hunched-over figure and uncertain what to do, before she reminded herself of something she’d learned during the happy months she’d spend with him: that she could ask him everything, that with him, she didn’t need to hold back. She only hoped that was still true.

“What just happened in there?” she blurted out before she could overthink again.

At first, she thought Hiccup wouldn’t respond though, his shoulders only growing even tenser. But eventually, he did react, if not as she’d hoped he would.

“What do you mean?” he asked in a low, nearly inaudible whisper. His back was still turned toward her and with a breeze rustling the twigs around them, she shouldn’t have been able to understand him. But right now, she would’ve picked out his voice amidst a thunderstorm.

“I mean… I mean the way you looked, right before you left. Wha-what was that supposed to mean?”

Hiccup grunted out something like a harsh and unamused laugh before he finally turned his head to look at her. It was dark out here, the lights of the castle barely reaching them, but she could still see that his eyes were hollow and tired. “I know I suggested it,” he murmured. “But… it’s so hard to watch you two together. I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough; I didn’t mean to let you see this. You… you should go back, I’m sure everyone is missing you already.”

And what about you? she wanted to demand, but kept herself from blurting out those harsh words. They weren’t necessary, she didn’t doubt that he was missing her too. But that wasn’t the point.

“That’s not what I meant,” she replied instead, her voice gentle and soothing, if a little weak. If he only felt half as brittle as she did, then harsh words wouldn’t help right now. “You looked… disappointed, as if you’d expected me to do something else. And I… I just…” she trailed off, again unsure of what to say.

Hiccup turned a little more, eyeing her with the intensity she’d missed dearly. “You… what?”

“I… I need to know what you were thinking,” she added. “Please…”

There was an uncomfortable pause in which nothing but both their breathing was audible, his getting heavier by the second, as if he was struggling with some inner fight. Then he sighed, his shoulders slumping, and he gave a weak nod. “You’re right,” he murmured. “For a moment, I thought… I thought you’d come to me instead. I know how stupid that was, given everything that happened, but–” he paused, shrugging helplessly– “I guess I was hoping for a miracle, for this nightmare to end. I just… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Astrid could do little but stare at him as her mind tried to work through his words. Oh, they were simple enough and she knew what he meant, had felt the same. But there was one thing he’d said, one single word that threatened to make everything around her fall apart again.

“You’ve… You’ve been hoping?” she gasped, her knees going weak.

Hiccup obviously understood the implication and met her eyes with a clear look. “Yes.”

For the second time this night, the whole world around her was spinning. Everything she’d done lately – giving up her dreams and giving in to the expectations placed on her, accepting the thought of becoming Eret’s wife and trying to find comfort in that fate – all that she’d done based on one single fact: that Hiccup had given up and that there was nothing she could do either. That there was no hope left for them. But if that wasn’t true, if Hiccup still hoped…

The feeling of spinning got worse, as if she might pass out again at any moment. This was too much. The day had been too much, worse than any before, and the thought that she might have given up too soon... She was falling again, idly wondering whether hitting the soft grass beneath her would hurt or whether she’d even still feel the impact – but it never came to that.

From one heartbeat to the next, she was suddenly caught in an embrace she’d thought she would never feel again. His warmth and closeness washed through her like a healing wave that made her whimper helplessly. It felt so good. Weakly, she huddled closer against his chest, seeking more of what she’d missed so desperately: His warmth, his scent, his closeness, the feeling of rightness and security he always gave her. She didn’t say anything for a while, only basked in it all until the world stopped spinning and her mind became a little clearer again.

“I thought there was no hope left for us,” she eventually mumbled against his chest. They were both back on their feet now, but still entangled in a tight embrace with one another. Her arms wrapped around his waist to hold on to him. She never wanted to let go of him again.

“There is always hope,” he seemed to mumble into her hair.

Her mind went blank for a moment. No. She must have misheard him. Her mind was playing tricks on her, taunting her. “What?” she gasped out and turned her head until she could look up at him. She needed more than just words, needed to see it for herself.

Hiccup looked at her as well, a mixture of soft adoration and desperate longing in his eyes. “‘There is always hope’,” he repeated and loosened his hold around her to brush a few loose strands of hair out of her eyes. “That’s what the Goddess told me.” He paused, hesitantly licking his lips. “I… had another vision last night,” he explained upon her confused look. “She visited me in my dreams and, among other things, told me that there’s always hope. That… that I would only have to do what comes naturally for me and then we can be together.” He shrugged self-consciously.

Astrid leaned her forehead back against his chest as she tried to grasp what he’d just told her. She wanted to believe him, only the Gods knew how much she wanted. But did she dare to do so? She took a minute to try and make sense of it all, all whilst holding on to him as tightly as she could. She wanted it to be true, wanted to be with him for the rest of her life. But could she rebuild her hope based on nothing but this? Could she give in to the growing longing that was about to burst through her inner walls and tear down the brittle construct of another life she’d build over the last week? Did she even have a choice?

“Are you sure it wasn’t just a dream, just wishful thinking?” she asked, her voice close to breaking. His heartbeat was thrumming in her ear as her hands tightened in his tunic at his back, desperate to believe it as well but also afraid of renewed pain. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to endure that.

“Yes, I’m sure,” he eventually murmured, hesitantly, and when she looked up again, he had his face averted, chewing at his lip in thoughts. “It’s a… a long story. Not something to tell you now. But yes, I have enough reason to believe that it wasn’t just an ordinary dream. She told me things, knew things that…”

He trailed off when she began to tremble uncontrollably, keening, and his arms around her tightened until he was almost crushing her. It still wasn’t enough. In that moment, as the emotional tide she’d tried to hold back burst through her and washed away every reasonable thought left, she only wanted him to hold her tighter, closer, until they were merged together, inseparably.

For a few minutes, neither of them spoke. They didn’t need to. For now, it was enough to just hold each other, to be this close again after a separation that had lasted for far too long. Again, Astrid was basking in it all, his warmth and comfort, in the reassurance and safety she felt radiating from him. But it was so much more intense now compared to earlier as it came with the hope that their suffering might be over. She was amazed at how simple it was, at how easily they clicked back together. The torn pieces of her heart slid back into place, the edges reconnecting as if nothing had ever happened. She was back in Hiccup’s arms and, for this moment, everything was perfect.

But she knew that reality couldn’t be warded off forever. Even with how good and right it felt to be with him again, they couldn’t stay out here in the cool gardens forever. Sooner rather than later, she would have to get back. People would start to look for her, if they hadn’t already; Ruff wouldn’t be able to appease them for much longer. She had to get back to the ball before someone noticed her absence, had to get back to her mask, to playing her part. She had to get back to become Eret’s wife.

She sobbed as this realisation hit her. She loved Eret, as her friend and her brother, she really did. But the idea of actually marrying him now that new hope for her being with her soulmate had taken root inside her…

“I can’t do this,” she whispered weakly. Hiccup tensed up and made attempts to pull away from her, but she wouldn’t let him and instead clung to him with all the strength she had left. “I can’t go back in there and pretend anymore,” she elaborated instead. “Not when this is still possible. Please, Hiccup. What can we do?”

“I-I don’t know.” He sounded incredibly brittle, vulnerable. “All I know is that there must be a way, but I don’t know what it is. Nothing has changed there. But… but I will find a way through this!”

His words, muffled into her hair, did little to calm her. Without a doubt, it was soothing to know that they were on the same page again. But he was right; nothing had changed. There still was no way out for them, and their time to find one was limited. Not marrying Eret after tonight would cause some turmoil, but it would pass. Her choice at the ball hadn’t been binding, after all. But that left them only two more weeks until that choice would become official, until going back on her word would cause a great amount of trouble, no matter how close the Houses Hofferson and Jag’r were. But if they couldn’t find a way...

“Take me away from here.” The words were out before she could think about it. It didn’t matter that they’d talked about that option before, didn’t matter that, logically, she knew it was insane. It was the only solution she could think of.

“Astrid, that’s–”

But before Hiccup could say any more, object to her idea as she expected, she cut him off with a quick shake of her head. She wasn’t sure whether some part of her had thought this through before or whether she was making it up as she went, but from one second to the other, the idea was in her head, crystal clear and simple.

“Not right now,” she clarified. “We have a few days to plan ahead. When we choose the right moment, some busy time over a longer hunt, for example, it could take up to an entire day before someone notices I’m gone. We can pack provisions to last us a few days and then we can hunt and live off the forest until they give up. There’s no need for us to stick to taverns and inns where people can easily find us. We can stay away from the roads, travel through the forests and fields to avoid search parties, at least for a while. It’s possible, I know it is.” And if someone finds us, she added mentally. Then they will have to get through me to get to you. Out loud, she added, “And once we’re free of any hunters, we can go somewhere safe, build that simple home we saw. I’m sure you can find work wherever we go, be it working with livestock or as a mechanic, or maybe even as a blacksmith’s apprentice. And I can learn how to cook, I’ll take care of our home and raise our children. I know it won’t always be easy, but together we can do it. Please, at least consider it.”

Hiccup had listened to every word she’d said, quietly and without interrupting her. She had fully expected him to do so or to object now, to come up with some logical reasoning why that wouldn’t be possible. But nothing like that happened. Instead, he lifted one hand to cup her face, his thumb gently caressing her cheekbone.

“I wasn’t going to turn that idea down,” he said in a low, hoarse whisper, his eyes fixed on hers. There was a sincerity in them, a determination that she hadn’t seen there before. “If I’ve learned one thing from these past weeks, then it’s that I’m ready to do everything to not lose you again. Even something as crazy as eloping with you.” His lips twitched into something of a smile despite his somewhat sad expression. “But you’re right, that won’t be easy. I’ve lived on the road for long enough to know how hard it can be, how cold the nights can get and how merciless hunger can become. And we wouldn’t even simply live on the road, but on the run; that would make everything so much harder. So let’s keep that as a last resort, okay?”

Smiling, Astrid relaxed a little more. “Okay,” she breathed, smiling. A ‘last resort’ was good, a backup plan, the assurance that nothing could separate them. It was hope. However, there was one thing she needed before she could go back, one more assurance. “Just... promise me one thing.”

“Everything!” he replied without hesitation, a weak chuckle vibrating through his chest. “Whatever you want, Milady, the answer is yes.”

Oh, it was so good to see and hear and feel him like this again, so light and free, with at least a spark of confidence. Astrid wanted these minutes with him to never end. She knew that they only had a little time left though, and she didn’t want to waste that. This was important to her, important for her sanity. “Don’t let me go,” she pleaded. “Not ever again. Whatever happens, there’s no giving up anymore.”

Pain sparked up in his eyes at the reminder, but it disappeared almost instantly and got replaced by burning sincerity. “I won’t let go,” he vowed. “Not ever again. Whatever happens, I will fight for us.”

Him wording his reply exactly like her request before made her smile turn a few shades warmer and softer, and with a sighed, “Thank you!” she rested her head back against his chest. She would have to go back any minute now, but until then, she wanted to soak up as much of his warmth and closeness as she could. She was sure that she would need it.

The minutes stretched though, and every time she felt as if the moment to part, at least for now, had come, she found another reason to stay just a tiny bit longer. Like how much she’d missed his scent of leather and sunshine, how good his fingers felt as they caressed her bare upper arms, or how much the even sound of his breathing calmed her. Gods, she’d missed him so much! Being here with him now after all the pain of the past weeks, it almost felt like a dream in itself, like it was too good to be true. But it was true; it had to be with the cool breeze slowly getting uncomfortable through the thin fabric of her dress and with the distant music of the ball echoing toward them no matter how hard she tried to tune it out.

She was about to retreat, for real this time, when some unexpected sounds made them both flinch. No, not unexpected, not really, but… but… Astrid felt panic rise inside her as the noises, footsteps and the low whispering of clearly more than one person, came closer and closer to where they were ‘hiding’ – in a separate clearing, yes, but still in full view should someone enter.

Shaking with the old fear of getting caught, Astrid’s eyes darted around over the hedges and scrubs. She was looking for a place to hide, making a step backwards – or tried to, at least. Hiccup’s arms around her didn’t loosen to let her move away; on the contrary, it felt as if he held her even tighter.

“Hiccup, what… Let me… I need to hide!” There was panic in her voice now as it was in her eyes as she looked up at him, pleading, begging him to–

“I won’t let go,” he whispered urgently, something like frantic desperation gleaming in his eyes. “Not ever again…”

For a moment, her fear grew even stronger as she tried to struggle free. They mustn’t be found like this, in full view of whoever might happen upon them and tightly entangled, without leaving any doubt about the nature of this meeting. They had to part, to hide, had to pray and hope that whoever was coming in their direction wouldn’t spot them. It would only make everything worse.

But then, she remembered her own thought from earlier. ‘Then they will have to get through me to get to you.’ In an instant, she stopped struggling and sought his eyes with her own, sought confirmation. Her hand landed on his chest, over his heart, at the same moment as he touched her in the same way, and they shared a short but decisive nod. If necessary, they would fight every battle for each other, for their right to be together.

All of a sudden, she felt incredibly light, with all fear and worries having evaporated in a heartbeat. This was where she was supposed to be, where the Gods had placed her. Where she belonged. It wasn’t even a choice when she stretched then, her free hand moving up to curl around his neck, and pressed her lips to his. It was inevitable, the only logical thing to do.

Hiccup didn’t even seem surprised, welcomed her even with a soft sigh that sounded as if an incredible weight had been lifted off his soul. And Astrid felt the same. The moment their lips met it was as if she could breathe freely for the first time in a long while, as if she’d been drowning and now had broken through the surface again. She’d meant for this to be a gentle kiss, one that spoke of reconciliation and reassurance. But after only one heartbeat, it became something else, something more. Reconciliation turned into reconnecting, reassurance into the promise that they would never deny their love again. Their lips and tongues moved together, more eager and demanding after the long break, just like their entire bodies thought more contact, clutching and pulling. Hiccup’s hand curled around the base of her head, and for once neither of them cared that he might ruin the intricate pattern of her braids. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered to them except each other.

Maybe it wasn’t the powerful connecting of their first true kiss, not the meeting and melding of a thunderstorm and a flood wave. But it felt like so much more, like the force of nature brewing between them had finally reached its full power, ready to strike out at whoever dared to get too close. At that moment, with them clutching at each other and with their moans and their gasping breaths mingling between hungry mouths, she felt invincible.

And not even the footsteps behind her coming to an abrupt halt and the whispering turning into stunned silence could change that.

. o O o .

So, yeah... This last scene didn't turn out as I always imagined it. In my mind, it always was a highly emotional and tragic scene, still a reunion, but not as hopeful as it is now, but more one that happened by luck. Ah, well. It now is as it is. And I'm still kinda happy how it turned out, even with aaaall the things I had to cut out because they didn't fit to how the story had developed anymore or wouldn't work with these characters at all.

I hope it was still satisfying enough...

Next chapter

#FTLOAP #For The Love Of A Princess #Hiccstrid #Fanfiction #hiccstrid fanfiction #Romance #Angst #hurt/comfort #medieval au #Hiccstrid Medieval AU #hiccstrid royal au #royalty au #Hiccup and Astrid #httyd

32 notes · View notes

oldmaidwhovian · 5 years

Text

100 question meme---cos’ I’m bored

1. What board game do you like the most?

sequence dice

2. If you could rid the world of one disease what would it be?

diabetes

3. If you were offered the position of mayor of your city, would you take it?

4. Favorite day of the week?

none---all the same to me

5. If you inherited or won a million dollars, what’s the very first thing you would do with the money

pat off debts

6. Give me the names of 3 objects or things you love most

my Georg Hoose cowboy painting that my late aunt gave me for my 7th birthday

my home library

the ceramic cat I gifted to my mom her final Christmas

7. Did you grow up here?

No, 50 miles south

8. Which are your top bands or singers?

The Proclaimers, The Beach Boys, John Denver, The Takeover UK, Chicago, too many to list....

9. What school activities do you or did you participate in?

Not many in elementry school...high school riding club and glee club....college i did theater, radio broadcasting (briefly), anthropology club, international studies.

10. Do you have any siblings

one

11. Where did your family go on vacations in the summer?

Haven’t been on vacation since 2005

12. What jobs do your parents do?

Nothing, they’re both deceased

13. What is the best job you ever had?

Groom at a dressage stable

14. What time do you normally go to bed?

no specific time

15. Have you ever been in a car accident or seen one?

yes to both

16. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve ever made?

Living on my own

17. What’s the size of your shoes?

varies due to an old injury leading to a misshapen foot--but generally woman’s 8.5 US

18. Name 3 things in nature you find most beautiful?

sunsets, soaring hawks, the sighing of pine trees (namely the Eastern White Pine) in the wind

19. What would you do if you were the lone survivor of a plane crash?

ummm-try and continue surviving?

20. What do you do in your free time?

Read, pet the cat, watch youtube videos, listen to music, play cribbage or whist online, take naps, go for walks if I’m able, ride the bus somtimes.

21. What were your childhood pets?

Cats, guinea pig, dogs, chameleons, turtles, mouse, goldfish, pigeon.,

22. Do your pets do any good tricks?

My lovely Shamrock was just like Lassie, and did a regular routine of tricks

23. How old is your current pet?

Maisie I think is around 2

24. What two languages would you like to be fluent in?

French-Canadian and Friesian

25. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had

housekeeping at a casino-racing complex

26 How often do you brush your teeth?

depends on my level of manual dexterity on any given day

27. If you were in a witness protection program, what would be your new name and where would you go?

Sarah Jane Smith....Friesland, cos’ the people are nice and the land is flat

28. Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not at present

29. If it were possible, would you live on the moon?

30. Do you find these questions funny?

meh

31. Define a really funny question?

makes me grin

32. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

33. What is your favorite smell?

horse

34. Do you believe in Bigfoot?

UM--it’s always possible, I guess

35. When did you learn how to drive?

in my early 20′s

36. If you could go back in time 1,000 years, what year would you visit?

Hadrian’s Rome

37. What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

Can’t remember

38. Would you let me slap you for a hundred dollars?

sure, why not?

39. Who would you hate to see naked?

Donald Trump---bleurgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

40. Would you dress in drag for $25?

Sure, it’d be a hoot

41. How old is the oldest cell in your body?

59 years, 22 days...I think?

42. If you could start a collection of one kind of item, what would it be?

antique custom made cowboy chaps

43. If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be?

Boring As Hell

44. What’s the meaning of life?

Try not to die too soon

45. Do frogs have ears?

beats me

46. If you could study anything, regardless of your aptitude for it, what would it be?

saddle making

47. Whats your favorite season?

autumn

48. Have you ever seen an actual ghost?

yes

49. What was the first thing you ever collected?

Antique bottles

50. In a scale from 1-5, how afraid of dark are you?

51. Who was your first celebrity crush?

David Cassidy

52. Date someone older or younger?

Neither, ceased dating decades ago

53. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

stinging nettle cheese

54. If you could trade lives with anyone for a day who would it be and why?

Anyone but a Republican, a pedophile or a drug addict

55. What famous artist, dead or alive, would you want to paint your portrait?

Vermeer

56. What’s something you always wanted to do as a child but never got to do it?

live on a farm or a log cabin in the woods

57. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever cried about?

can’t recall, I’m too old

58. What did you eat for dinner last night?

mac and cheese, creamed spinach

59. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?

basketball...I’m s__t on skates

60. If you could be on the cover of any magazine which one would you choose?

Western Horseman

61. Last thing you bought?

used sweatshirts at the charity shop

62. What is the funniest movie you have ever seen?

Arsenic and Old Lace

63. What scene from a film made you cry as a child?

When Ginger died in Black Beauty

64. What fashion trend do you wish would come back?

bell bottoms, haha

65. What fashion trend do you wish would go away

wearing pajama bottoms in public---crackhead fashion!

66. If you don’t know the words to a song do you improvise?

67. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?

I don’t own a TV

68. If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would it be?

The Doctor

69. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid?

I didn’t like stuffed animals

70. Do you butter the bread before putting the peanut butter on a sandwich?

My school caf and my late mom used to, but not me

71. Do you use perfume or aftershave before going out?

sometimes

72. Whats your favorite thing to do?

Before my stroke it was being around horses--now it’s reading

73. Do you watch cartoons?

seldom

74. Do you cook?

I was a cook when I was younger, now I only cook from scratch if I don’t need a lot of manual dexterity

75. Last dessert you had?

last of my ice cream

76. Describe the worst haircut you’ve ever had.

Did it myself and still ended up looking like an uncurried shetland pony--in fact, i called it the Thelwell cut, haha

77. What are two things you would do if you woke up to find yourself completely invisible?

ummm---not a clue

78. What was one of the happiest days of your life?

My college graduation

79. One really happy, hilarious moment in your life?

Being surrounded by, and getting licked by cows

80. What is one thing you refuse to share?

A Big Mac

81. If you could get away with a crime, would you? If yes, what would it be?

82. If you were about to be executed what five foods would have as your last meal?

pizza, Big Mac, prime rib, Ted’s fish fry, Hot Dog Charlies

83. Did you ever own a bare naked Ladies Cd?

84. What’s the furthest you’ve traveled?

Egypt

85.Have you ever grown your own tomatoes?

yes

86. Who is the most famous person you have ever met?

Dr zahi Hawass the Egyptologist

87. How many slices of pizza are you capable of eating in one sitting?

When I was younger and fatter about 4-6, now 2-3

88. Do you play a musical instrument?

I tried the cello, the piano, the flute and the guitar, but I’m afraid it’s hopeless...tho’ I can play a few tunes by ear.

89. Three favorite TV shows from your early teen?

Emergency! The Partridge Family, The Streets Of San Francisco

90. Radio or CD’s

Radio

91. Do you have posters up on your room walls and what are they?

A couple of western-themed posters, 2 travel posters and 1 Tiffany window poster

92. What is on your bedside table?

a lamp, a sound/sleep machine, and my alarm clock...and frequently a book

93. What is the thing you love most about mornings?

waking up and realizing that I’m not dead

94. What are your major goals in life?

Finding a place to live so I’m not homeless, cat-less and possession-less...and then working to improve my declining health, if only just a bit

95. On a scale from 1-10 what’s the highest level of pain you’ve ever been in?

10 when the horse ran over me at work and messed up my back, back in ‘91

96. What kind of phone do you use most often?

I can only use a landline since my stroke---just replaced my 1980′s novelty train phone which broke, with a modern 1960′s style teal colored ‘princess’ phone

97. The person you would never want to meet?

Donald J. Trump

98. What were your three favorite childhood toys?

Marx’s Fort Apache, Johnny West action figures, Matel’s ‘Drowsy’ doll

99. What is your favorite spectator sports?

Polo / show jumping / western reining / harness racing / basketball

100. What’s your idea of a dream home?

A cottage or cabin not too far from a town or village,not big, with a screen porch to sit and chill

0 notes

shipmistress9 · 5 years

Text

FTLOAP: Chapter 43: I Don’t Wanne Close My Eyes

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Rating: Explicit

FF-net - AO3 -

Discord-server for discussions and questions

Part 1: Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11;

Part 3: Chapter 34; Chapter 35; Chapter 36; Interlude 4; Chapter 37; Chapter 38; Chapter 39; Chapter 40; Interlude 5; Chapter 41; Chapter 42

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: Hey everybody. Once again sorry that there was no update last week. As announced on Tumblr, neither I nor athingofvikings had the time and energy to get it done in time. By now, I'm relatively satisfied though, so I hope this chapter will make up for the waiting. Also, thank you all for being this understanding. You're great! :D

But at this point, I'd like to make an announcement. It's quite possible that in future, more chapters might come in later as well. The reason is that I'm pregnant. :) 7 months in now. The baby, a little girl, it due in Decembre. So yeah, I have a lot of other things on my mind besides writing these days, and focusing on one thing gets harder and harder. ^^"

As mentioned before, this entire part was meant to be in the previous chapter... In the end, it turned out so long that I probably would have split it anyway, so... it's okay as it is?

And I want to make two things clear...Many people are speculating about Daniel, when he'll return, and how he'll be able to help our couple. A few questions in this regard will finally get answered in his chapter ;)

And I've mentioned this before a few times, but since it came up THREE TIMES in the reviews and comments to this chapter alone...

YES, TOOTHLESS AND A FEW OTHER DRAGONS WILL EVENTUALLY PLAY A ROLE HERE, TOO.

Maybe everyone reads this now... but I won't bet on it.

This chapter now has the title I'd planned for the previous already. It's from 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing' by Aerosmith, and I think it fits really well here. ;)

. o O o .

Even though the ball ended up being much more enjoyable after her trip out to the gardens, Astrid was still grateful when it finally ended with the last movement from the band and her father’s formal speech. No, not just grateful. She was excited. She was practically trembling with anticipation for the planned meeting in Eret’s rooms, and would have liked nothing more than to go there directly after the party.

But Ruff’s words of caution, of not starting those kinds of rumours made her see reason. It was expected that women would wait until their wedding night, and while the social expectations were different in different regions – from what she’d heard, over in eastern regions, long betrothals and sex during the betrothal were not unheard of – here in the capital, it was ironclad. Women who were outside of the Temple waited. Period. Rumours of her being seen entering Eret’s chambers would be the height of scandal, especially given the still-ongoing competition over her hand. However, if that had been the only reason, she wouldn’t have cared much. No, what was even more important: if people believed that she’d already slept with Eret, then gaining acceptance for her actual choice later on would be even harder.

So, reluctantly, she accepted the necessity of having to return to her own rooms first, in order to change out of her extravagant and recognizable ball gown and into one of Ruff’s simple maidservant outfits in nothing else. But even with that disguise, she had to wait until the castle had calmed down for the night, just like before when she’d sneaked out to meet Hiccup at the stables. Once it was time though, there was nothing that could stop her. She’d expected to go alone, that Ruff and Tuff, who also had a long day, would be tired. But they insisted on coming along regardless.

“We’re in on this now, whether you want it or not,” Ruff had commented dryly, her brother simply nodding at her side.

Astrid wasn’t sure whether three people on an errand might be a little too obvious, despite the twins’ assurances that it would actually be more effective. But thankfully they didn’t have far to go and also didn’t encounter anyone in the dark corridors, and once they’d reached Eret’s rooms, she found that she couldn’t care less about such thoughts. The moment she stepped inside, out of view of whoever might be walking the corridors, and spotted Hiccup standing at the far end, awkwardly shifting his weight off his left leg and biting his lower lip, everything else around her seemed to fade out of existence.

With a soft gasp, she flew through the room and into his arms, her lips on his before anyone could react in any way. Some part of her had feared that everything that had happened out in the gardens had been nothing but a dream, just wishful thinking. But at that moment, she fully realised that all of that – talking to Hiccup, reconnecting with him, and the whole conversation with Eret and the others – had really happened. She was back in Hiccup’s arms, where she belonged, and nothing would ever be able to separate them again.

It took him less than a second to catch up to her mood, his hands on her back hurling her closer, their kiss turning deeper and more heated. This was different from the sweet reconnecting out in the gardens, not hesitant or careful but instead filled with all the longing of the past two weeks. It was wonderful, everything she’d missed and longed for: his hands on her waist and back, his lips and tongue moving with her own, the stubble on his jaw scraping pleasantly over her skin. She could feel his warmth seeping into her body, heard his low gasps and moans against her mouth, could smell his achingly familiar scent of leather and sunshine, could finally taste him again. The force of their kiss even made him stumble a step or two backwards before he caught himself – and her – again, gripping even harder, and Astrid wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.

But, of course, time wouldn’t stand still for them.

“Oh dear, get a room, you two,” Dagur commented from behind her, reminding Astrid of their audience.

Embarrassed and also a little breathless, she pulled back from Hiccup after all – reassured by the expression of joy and love she spotted in his eyes – and turned to look at their friends again.

“Be careful with what you wish for,” Tuff groaned at that moment, letting his head drop back in one of his theatrical gestures. “Giving them a private room might result in more noise than even you would want to hear.”

. o O o .

Despite the joy and happiness buzzing through Hiccup’s body after her kiss, he involuntarily tensed at Tuff’s words. How much did Astrid’s warder know? Spotting the fierce blush on her cheeks, he figured that the man at least had to know something, and he threw an apprehensive look at how Eret and Dagur would react to this information. Knowing about their feelings was one thing, but learning that Hiccup apparently knew very well how the Princess – their little sister – looked beneath her expensive robes was something else entirely.

But before either of them got the chance to say anything, Astrid beat them to it. “I don’t think that’s why we’re here, is it?” she asked, quickly and in a way that made her intentions to change the topic more than clear. However, none of the others objected, allowing Hiccup to relax again. This was really not the moment he wanted to discuss the extent of their intimacy – not that he felt like ever discussing it with anyone present!

Waiting for her here in Eret’s rooms for the past hour had been awkward enough already. There was a certain tension, especially between him and Eret, and Hiccup knew that, at some point, they would have to talk about it. But with Dagur around as well, there hadn’t been time so far, so he pushed all those mixed feelings aside. Now was not the time to dwell on them.

“You’re right. That is not why we’re here,” Eret agreed after a short tense pause.

“Related, though,” Dagur commented dryly.

Eret scoffed and he shook his head as if to shake off an unpleasant thought, then ran a hand through his hair before he pulled over a chair to sit down.

Hiccup could hardly blame him. After the long night of dancing and the ride earlier in the day, his legs ached as well; the left one especially was cramping now that the tension of waiting for Astrid had ebbed off. He looked around, but the only seating accommodations were the other chairs, which quickly were occupied by Dagur and Astrid’s servants, and the couch that usually served as his bed these days. He hesitated, but with Astrid still refusing to let go of him – and frankly him feeling the same reluctance – a chair wouldn’t have suited them anyway. So he guided her the few steps to the side to sit down there, not caring what the others might think.

Eret threw them a thoughtful glance when Hiccup looked up again but didn’t comment. Instead, he went straight to the point, taking Astrid’s heavy-handed suggestion without rancour. “All right, let’s see what we have,” he began, unusually sober compared to his usual rather relaxed nature and the joking atmosphere of only a few minutes ago. ”First, I’d say we need to all get onto the same page. I mean, the main problem is obvious; Astrid has to pick a husband, but Hiccup isn’t eligible. We could make some excuses to postpone the betrothal, by faking an injury or an illness, for example. But that wouldn’t solve the problem. What we need is a way for Hiccup to rise in rank sufficient to be eligible. So what was the plan you had in mind before Astrid’s birthday – assuming you had one?”

Astrid nodded enthusiastically, apparently eager to get started. But although Hiccup felt the same energy, at least to some degree, he wasn’t fooling himself. For sure, maybe Eret and Dagur would have some brilliant solution that had evaded him – but he doubted it. Not because he didn’t think them intelligent, but after he’d already spent so many nights desperately searching for an answer, it seemed unlikely that they’d spring on it. What was left that he might not have thought about already?

“To be honest, I wasn’t really thinking about this at all at first,” Astrid admitted sheepishly. “All I knew was that there had to be a way and that Hiccup had a plan.” She shrugged, her hand squeezing his as everyone’s attention turned toward him.

Slowly, he nodded. “Yeah, I had a plan… or something in that direction, at least.” His eyes focused on Eret. “I planned to... well, to simply do my best as your squire,” he said, self-consciously. “I wanted to make a good impression, on you but mostly on Daniel. I... I hoped I could earn his respect and maybe get him to like me, enough so that when I would ask for land and title when Astrid came of age, he’d support me.” He gave a helpless shrug. “That sounds so stupid now, but I thought it could work. It had to…”

The last words, he only added in a low and sad whisper so only Astrid would be able to hear him. His eyes met hers, and he couldn’t keep the pain out of them, the renewed sense that he’d failed her. Yes, he’d been so sure… But even with the Goddess’s assurance, he still wasn’t able to feel the same again, not after what had happened. There still was this tiny sting of doubt, of the fear that he might not be able to prove himself worthy after all.

“I see,” Eret sighed. “You’re right, it sounds pretty foolhardy. But… well, given how quickly you and Daniel already became friends by now, it could have worked, I think – with enough time.”

Hiccup nodded, swallowing. “Which is the problem. We don’t have that time anymore,” he muttered, his voice weak and breaking. Only dimly he was aware of Astrid reaching up to caress his face, even her soothing touch barely enough to pull him out of his thoughts. He’d been over this so many times during the past weeks, and talking about it now didn’t feel like it would help at all. On the contrary, it just made everything more real.

“Well, we could still approach Daniel with this proposition together, right?” Dagur now threw in, looking from one to the other until his eye stayed on Eret. “As you said, Daniel certainly likes him. That in addition to Astrid’s feelings and our support might be enough, don’t you think?”

“No!” Astrid gasped. She became rigid in his embrace, her face suddenly pale even in the dim light of the lanterns. “No, you can’t tell him! He-he would get Hiccup hanged! Just like Harold and that other– No, please, he can’t know! Please!”

Hiccup tried to soothe her as she started to tremble violently, but knew that there was little he could do right now. This had been her fear right from the beginning, and even though he hoped that it wouldn’t come to that, he also couldn’t be sure. He and Daniel might have become something like friends, but that didn’t mean he knew how the Prince would react to such a violation of his own law.

However, Eret seemed to be less concerned about that. “Is that why you never said anything? Because of Daniel and his law?” he asked, grimacing.

Whimpering softly, she nodded. “You’ve seen how hard he’d become, how mercilessly he executed Harold. Not… not that he didn’t deserve it, but… what if he does the same to Hiccup?” Her hand around his tightened, nearly crushing it. “I won’t take that risk. We can’t tell him, not until it’s all settled.”

Slowly, Eret shook his head at her. “Oh, Swanja,” he sighed. “I really wish you would have said something sooner. You got it all wrong. This law… it’s about people who touch you without your consent, against your will. Harold tried to rape you, for Odin’s sake; of course, Daniel showed him no mercy. But he’d only need to take one look at you two to see that this is what you want. Believe me, he wouldn’t punish Hiccup for making you as happy as you’ve been at the ball earlier. On the contrary, Dagur is probably right. If he knew, he might very well support you.”

Next to Hiccup, Astrid seemed to deflate, and he pulled her even closer until she leaned against him again, her face hidden against his chest. He’d seen the sheer panic in Astrid’s eyes at the idea of her brother catching them. Maybe Eret was right and Daniel wouldn’t even mind, but that didn’t mean that her fear hadn’t been real. And he could only imagine how it looked inside her head now.

But whether Daniel would punish him for their love or not, Hiccup felt a certain hollowness of is own at Eret’s words. In a low voice, he murmured, “I wouldn’t count on him supporting us either way. He made it pretty clear who he wants her to marry.” His eyes flickered to Eret, who flinched at his words but didn’t contradict him. “From what I learned about him, he doesn’t believe in love at all, even called it a fickle thing when we talked once.” His head turned toward her on its own volition, leaning a little closer. He wanted to hold her forever, to never let her go. But with every minute they talked, his hopes sank.

“And if Daniel thought Hiccup to be a suitable candidate, wouldn’t he have arranged for him to at least be eligible for this stupid marriage contest?” she added bitterly, apparently having caught herself again, and shook her head. “No, I won’t count on his help.”

Eret grimaced, and even though it looked as if he wanted to object, he didn’t. “I wish I could contradict you there,” he muttered. “I mean, one thing’s for sure, he does care for your happiness, and greatly so. But…” He let out a heavy sigh. “But you’re right, counting on that to be enough might be a mistake. Because Hiccup’s right, he made his preference regarding your choice clear, at least retrospectively. And while he certainly wouldn’t approve of a strictly political marriage with, say, Thuggory, he still has to keep the safety of the Kingdom in mind as well. As future King, he needs you to forge a beneficial alliance through your marriage.” He gave a small, apologetic shrug. “That being said, we can at least keep this option in mind; it would have to be some kind of last option anyway. Daniel isn’t due to return until a few days before the official betrothal, and since it’s apparently impossible to contact him – or he actively refuses to answer; I’ve sent him three letters by now – we can’t approach him with this earlier anyway.”

Astrid tensed. “I don’t think relying on his support as some last option is a good idea,” she murmured, and even without having to look at her, Hiccup knew what she was thinking. And apparently, he wasn’t the only one.

“I know where this is going, Swanja,” Eret said, shaking his head at her. “But I really hope there’ll be another solution.”

His and Astrid’s eyes met, the sudden tension between them tangible to everyone around. Hiccup swallowed, waiting. A major part of him wanted to support Astrid in this, to simply run away, right now, and not care for any consequences. But he just couldn’t do that.

“Eh, what’s he talkin’ about?” Tuff asked as the silence stretched on.

His sister let her head drop back with a groan. “Isn’t that obvious? They want to elope. Might be the only realistic option anyway.”

From the corner of his eye, Hiccup saw how both Tuff’s and Dagur’s heads snapped around to stare at them. But he didn’t dare to turn his gaze away from Eret, anxiously awaiting his reaction.

However, it was Astrid who spoke first. “I won’t take any chances,” she said, her voice low but urgent. “I won’t wait and hope until it’s too late! The past two weeks gave me a taste of the life awaiting me if I do, and–” she turned in his embrace until their eyes met– “and I won’t lose you again!”

Hiccup’s throat tightened at the raw emotions in her eyes. Desperation. Determination. Love. He pulled her closer until his forehead rested against hers, holding her tight “You won’t,” he whispered, and added mentally, Not if I can help it.

With a soft sigh, Astrid pressed herself closer to him. It helped to reassure and calm him, at least a little bit. There was a way, no matter how hopeless things seemed right now. There had to be…

“I know that it’s pointless to try and talk you out of this plan,” Eret eventually said in a quiet voice. “But please, can you at least consider other options, too? If you really pull this idea through… I don’t even want to imagine the chaos that would follow.”

There was a spark of resistance in Astrid’s eyes as she turned her head back toward the others, toward Eret, and Hiccup braced himself for an intense argument. Because he knew what Eret meant – but he also knew that, if running away with her really turned out to be the only option, then he would not hesitate to follow through with it.

“Just think it through, Swanja,” Eret implored when she didn’t say anything, painting the mental picture despite his former words. “If you two were simply gone one morning, it won’t matter who knew or suspected what you’re feeling for each other or what your reasons were. It will be seen as an abduction. There would be a hefty bounty on Hiccup’s head and a reward waiting for whoever brings you back – you alive, and him dead. I assume you think you can hide until nobody is looking for you anymore, but I promise you, that won’t be easy. And for how long are you planning to hide anyway? A year? Five? Twenty? And even if you manage to not be found… have you thought about what would happen here? Even if Dagur and I can convince our fathers that he didn’t kidnap you against your will, it would be impossible to turn that into a public announcement. You’re the Princess! You’re in the focus of the public eye; people won’t simply forget that you existed. And there are enough influential people out there who’d love to use this to tear apart the alliance the Kingdom is built on. I… I don’t even know how people would react. Hiccup’s my squire, so maybe some would blame House Jag’r for working against the Kingdom and try to drive a wedge between us. Or maybe someone would remember that Hiccup is from the Tribes and blame them. Can you imagine the chaos, no matter whether people would just openly protest, for example against the palace guard being made up by tribesmen, or would even demand your father reigns them in for good? It’s all–”

“Don’t you think I know all that?” Astrid interrupted him all of a sudden. She was shaking all over now, her fingers digging into Hiccup’s arm almost painfully. “Because I do! I’ve known for all my life that I have responsibilities. And it’s because of the people that I haven’t run away from it all long ago. But…” She threw a quick glance up at Hiccup before resting her head against his chest, hiding from everyone. “I don’t want to cause this kind of trouble. But I just can’t live without Hiccup.”

Hiccup’s arms around her tightened further as he tried to silently reassure her. However, a small part of him was actually glad that Eret had brought up all these problems that could come up if they ran away. Yes, he’d agreed to this option as a last resort, but he really hoped they would somehow find another way.

With a heavy sigh, Eret drew their attention again. “I know,” he said in a surprisingly soft voice. “I’ve watched you these last two weeks, Swanja, and believe me, I wouldn’t want to toss you back into that state. But… just promise me that you won’t simply be gone one day. Promise me that you’ll wait, that you’ll let us look for another solution in earnesty. And even if we can’t find one, there still might be ways to… I don’t know, to prepare your disappearance. Just don’t do something stupid, okay?”

After a short but tense moment, she nodded. “I won’t...”

A small wave of relief wash through Hiccup, something he hadn’t known he really needed until that moment. Eret’s concerns were real. And yes, he’d do everything to be with her. But he also knew that he would hate it if their love came at the expense of others, and he was sure that Astrid felt the same. Or would feel once things settled down.

Eret didn’t repeat his question to him, just threw him an inquiring look and was satisfied when Hiccup gave him a firm nod in return.

“Okay,” he then sighed, and settled a little more comfortably in his chair. “Now that that’s settled, let’s see what we have. What is it you’ve thought about so far, Hiccup? It’s probably easiest to start there.”

Next to him, Astrid relaxed noticeably, presumably now that she knew Eret wouldn’t try to separate them after all. Her tight grip on his arm loosened and her body seemed to sag as she snuggled against him more comfortably. Hiccup turned his head to place a kiss onto her hair, deeply inhaling her wonderful mayweed scent, and drew strength from her closeness before he answered.

“I’ll try, but I doubt it’ll be of any help,” he said, his voice trembling. “We’ve already covered that my original plan to gain a title through Daniel’s favour won’t work. Maybe we can hope on his support once he’s back, but that’s a flimsy hope at best. That would be awfully close to the day Astrid has to choose for real, and even the Prince himself can’t create a title out of nowhere. And as for other options… I can’t see any. Uncle Eret already made it clear that, even though he might want to, he won’t be able to provide me with a title, family or not. He has enough vassals who already requested compensation for their lost lands, worthy men who’ve earned their place. And the only land he actually had to distribute was the farm in Sunhill which is part of Ester’s dowry. Aiming for that would be both pointless as she’s betrothed already and would kinda defeat the purpose anyway.” He laughed, shakily. “I never placed a request to the other Grand Dukes, but their situation is hardly different, and they have even less reason to help me anyway – despite the blood relation to House Jorgenson. And the King…” He gave a helpless shrug. “Likewise. He has enough requests for titles as it is. There simply is no land left for titleless noblemen like me. That’s the whole problem, isn’t it? The reason why the Kingdom is at the brink of a civil war. There’s no point in joining that struggle, no hope of success at all. Even if I was willing to enter those fights and to further tear at the Kingdom’s foundation, I’d be going in there naked, with no manpower, no money, no allies.”

“And what are we?” Dagur threw in, a little offended, but Hiccup didn’t even need to reply as Eret beat him to it.

“We wouldn’t be of much use,” he grunted. “Not yet. We might count as powerful allies in case we can bring our fathers on our side. But even then we can’t enter the title disputes, not without making it all so much worse.”

“Worse how?” Ruff asked, sounding curious.

Eret scoffed and affected a high, simpering, overcultured voice. “‘But sire, why won’t you come to my aid in defence of my claim on that title? You helped that titleless squire, after all!’” He twisted his torso as if turning to look at the man who had been ‘speaking’ and said in a much more gruff tone, “‘That was a special situation. I’m sorry, but I can’t be of any help.’”

Then Dagur jumped in, with an imitation of the high overcultured voice. “‘Well, fine then, sire. But I and my kin will remember this in the future!’” He coughed to clear his throat as Eret motioned towards him with a there you go gesture.

“All we’d be able to do is support him with trade contracts and the like, but not with manpower. We can’t help him gain a title, only support him once he has one.”

“So what about the North then?” Tuff asked from where he lounged in his chair, his legs dangling off one side. “I mean, he is the heir to one of the most powerful Houses there, aren’t you? Even with the struggles about who’s to become the new High Chief and all, that has to count for something, right?”

Hiccup hadn’t known how well Astrid’s servants were informed about his situation and identity, but he decided to not focus on that point. It didn’t really matter now anyway. Instead, he concentrated on facts, on staying calm enough to explain, and was incredibly grateful for Astrid’s supportive hand reaching for his own. He would have to rely on her strength some more tonight.

“There’s nothing there to gain either,” he replied in a strained voice, aware of how Eret and Dagur leaned a little closer. He couldn’t even blame them; he hadn’t really told them anything about what had happened. “I’m an outcast from the Tribes. Even if I don’t return to the islands and tried my luck with one of the dukes on the mainland, at the coast or even further south somewhere amidst Wodensleya... they wouldn’t dare to support me. Not with the threat of the Tribes’ retribution looming over their heads.”

“‘Their retribution? What would they do, toss you over the side of one of their ships and make you swim?” Tuff suggested, breezily dismissing his words with a languid wave of his arm.

Hiccup scowled at him. “Yeah, maybe... about thirty miles from shore in a storm. But more likely is something like ‘midnight raids with flaming torches’ and then let’s work our way up from there.”

Tuff snorted. “I’m always up for a bit of drama, but that certainly is a bit too dramatic, don’t you think? I mean–”

“No, it isn’t,” Hiccup cut him off directly. He remembered what had happened, even though he wished he didn’t. But the bewildered looks everyone threw him at his strong reaction made it clear that he would have to relive it all again now. “It happened about a season after... after my family died,” he said through clenched teeth, eyes pressed shut. “Some idiot popped up at Grunberg, one of the biggest settlements on the coast, and claimed that he was me. The ‘supposedly dead ducal heir of the Tribes’ he said, and tried to gain support for a bid for the ducal seat.” Hiccup remembered having heard that, still recovering with the crude bandage around his leg; he hadn’t known whether to laugh or to weep. “He lasted about two months. Now the opportunist’s head is on a spear on Berk.” He gave Tuff a glare that made the man shrink down in his seat. Yeah, one does not mess with the Tribes…

“We’ve heard about that,” Dagur muttered into the silence that followed. “It was then when we realised that you had to be dead for real, even though only the bodies of your father and brother could be identified without a doubt.” He threw a worried look at Eret, who nodded.

“Yeah, that was a dark day. Although… I thought the Tribes reacted that strongly because someone dared to use the name Haddock to gain power, as some form of paying tribute to their former High Chief. But I guess that wasn’t all that was about then?”

With a pained grimace, Hiccup shook his head. “The Elders made it clear that, if I ever showed up again and tried to regain power in their domain without their consent, they would not show mercy again. Not toward me and not to whoever would be with me or supported me.” Swallowing, he glanced at Astrid next to him. “So trust me when I say that House Haddock is worth nothing, not anymore, and there’s no realistic way to change that.” He hoped this would be enough to let this particular topic drop, but he should have known better.

“No realistic way?” Eret asked, his voice quiet but serious. Apparently, he still hadn’t given up on this idea.

With a deep sigh, Hiccup closed his eyes. “If I could prove that I had nothing to do with my family’s death – mainly my father’s – then they might be willing to lend an ear to my claim; probably not to become High Chief and Grand Duke, but maybe for some form of compensation. But patricide is one of the severest crimes among the Tribes, and even a sneaking suspicion was enough for them to distrust me. And I can’t even demand a fair trial. I’m not young enough to be under their protection as a minor, but since I failed my initiation I’m not a tribesman either, not legally. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve been allowed to try again or prove my worth in another way, but with the attack happening so soon afterwards…”

He trailed off, consumed by the pictures rising in his mind. The burned remains of his home. The flames and the heat. The pain and the loss. The accusations. With Astrid in his arms and the prospect of their shared future – no matter how insecure it was at this point – the memories had lost some of their bite, but they still stung. If only things had gone differently that day…

“I can see the dilemma,” Eret, who was at least a little familiar with the way of the Tribes, muttered. “That’s why you tried so desperately to find information about the attack.”

Hiccup nodded. “But it’s been futile. I literally found nothing, nothing in over two years. Whoever was behind it was incredibly careful. They left no trail at all, no witnesses. It almost looks like it might have been an accident after all – except that that makes even less sense.”

“So the North is not an option,” Dagur summed it up, closing this topic to Hiccup’s utmost relief.

Eret nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I’d thought that might be the easiest solution, but apparently, it’s not. Now I get why you thought there wouldn’t be a way. But I’m sure there is one, somehow. Let’s see…”

. o O o .

For nearly two hours, they threw ideas and suggestions around, but without getting anywhere. It was just as Hiccup had feared: none of their friends was able to think of something he hadn’t thought about already.

However, it was actually good to get it all off his chest, after all, to talk it through without having to hold back. And even though he felt incredibly tired and drained, he also felt lighter. Having support, no matter how little they might be able to actually help, was good.

Astrid had been rather quiet throughout the entire discussion, but that wasn’t really surprising. On more than one occasion, she’d expressed her annoyance about how little she actually knew about politics and the Kingdom in general, so there probably wasn’t much she was able to contribute. Every now and then, she threw in a question, asking for clarification or making a random suggestion, but over time, even those became less frequent.

It took him a while before he noticed why, though. At some point, she had fallen asleep. Hiccup only noticed when he tried to shift into another position and her body, draped halfway across him at that point, had simply followed the motion like dead weight and her only reaction had been a cute little grunt before she drifted back into slumber.

It was something that made him smile despite the rather fruitless discussion, something so light and simple as falling asleep in each other’s arms. Oh, how much he’d missed this! Only last night, he’d lain on this very couch and had despaired over how much he missed her, how he would do everything to get her back, to hold her again. And now, the impossible had happened; she was here, warm and cosy against his side, her head resting on his shoulder. It was a wonderful moment, one he hoped to experience again. Often.

But for now, he knew that he had to end it. Reluctantly, he cleared his throat to draw the others’ attention, then nodded toward her sleeping form. From one second to the other, the room fell silent, soft smiles on everyone’s face.

“I guess that’s our cue then,” Dagur murmured, a crooked smile on his lips as he gazed at his little sister. “Odin knows it’s been a horribly long day anyway.”

Yawning in agreement, everyone rose from their seats. But when Hiccup made attempts to wake Astrid, as carefully as possible, her maidservant stopped him by placing a slim hand on his free shoulder.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “Let her sleep. I haven’t seen her this peaceful in a while and I think she needs this. Needs you,” she added with something between a smile and a smirk. “The night isn’t long enough for us to get enough sleep as it is, so I’d rather she gets at least some restful sleep. I’ll be back before dawn to get her back into her rooms, you’re usual time.” Her words were followed by a mischievous wink, one that made clear she was talking about when Astrid had sneaked back to the castle after their shared nights. It again made him wonder just how much the twins knew, but this certainly wasn’t the time to ask.

And it didn’t really matter anyway.

With a nod and a grateful smile, Hiccup shifted until both he and Astrid lay on their sides, her head resting on his arm and his free hand lightly wrapped around her back. The couch certainly wasn’t as comfortable as a real bed and even in his sleeping stall in the stables they’d had more space, but it was still luxurious and wide enough to easily hold them now. It wasn’t as if he wanted to leave much space between him and her anyway.

Behind him, he could hear Eret and the others move and whisper, probably putting the chairs back into their places and discussing how and when to meet again. But Hiccup didn’t pay them any attention. With his body shielding Astrid from the noise and the faint light, he simply watched her sleep and got entirely lost in her features. Ruff was right; she looked incredibly peaceful, relaxed with a small smile on her lips. Hiccup couldn’t help but smile as well as he fished for the blanket folded somewhere above their heads and then covered them both, encasing them in their own little bubble.

Before he could truly settle for something like sleep though, someone clearing their throat behind him drew his attention again. Carefully so as to not wake her, he turned his head and found Eret standing a few steps away. With a somewhat tense expression, he waved him over, indicating him to follow into the other room.

Hiccup suppressed a sigh but worked his way out their little nest nonetheless. There were things he and Eret had to talk about, things that were nobody else’s business. And yes, it was better to clear those right away instead of waiting any longer, but that didn’t change how much Hiccup dreaded this conversation. In the doorway, he turned to throw another look at Astrid though, warmth spreading from his heart through his chest. She was worth everything.

Eret was already waiting for him, leaning against the desk and with his arms crossed in front of him. As expected, the room was otherwise empty, everyone else having left by now. Hiccup made a step inside, then closed the door behind him, unsure whether to wait for Eret to start or do so himself. He didn’t get any time to ponder though.

“I’m sorry,” Eret began, direct and straightforward.

It made Hiccup’s mouth clamp shut as he fought to keep the beast that were his feelings for his cousin contained. There was just too much right now, everything jumbled together.

“I know that I should have said something sooner. I knew that something was up with you two.”

“You tried,” Hiccup muttered without knowing how to really feel. The truth was that learning about how Eret had known about their feelings – or however else he called it – and hadn’t done or said anything to help them had left marks in their friendship, and he couldn’t say yet of what kind they were.

But Eret just shook his head. “I didn’t try hard enough. I knew how miserable she was and that you were hardly any better off. I feel horrible and keep asking myself how much pain I could have spared you if only I’d made you talk to me. It’s all just–”

“It’s okay,” Hiccup interrupted him, even as he had to avert his gaze. He knew the truth of the matter, knew that Eret wasn’t to blame, not really. But a part of him wanted to blame him, for everything. And it was this part of himself he had to fight now. “We’re not your responsibility. It was me who gave up too soon, who pushed her away and hurt her. And… well, as painful as these two weeks were… I think we needed them. I needed to feel the weight of that loss, if only to know what I’m fighting for. You heard what she said, and the same is true for me, too. I can’t live without her. I know that now...”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Eret muttered. “Even though I don’t really understand it.”

Chuckling, Hiccup lifted his head to give his cousin a strained smile. “Let’s just say: It’s complicated!”

Eret snorted. “Isn’t it always complicated?”

Hiccup’s lips twitched, but he didn’t comment further on this topic. He didn’t feel like explaining the whole soulmate bond again, didn’t want it to be played down just like Cami had only yesterday. And there were enough others, after all, enough other beasts to battle. So instead, he gave a heavy sigh and said, “I’m sorry too, by the way.”

“For what?” Eret seemed truly puzzled now.

Hiccup shrugged, inwardly steeling himself. “For stealing your bride. I know how many hopes you’ve put on your future with her.”

“Ah, that.” Eret’s smile turned sad. “Well, she never really was my bride to begin with, was she?” Chuckling, he shook his head. “This whole betrothal… I have to admit that, yes, I’ve been looking forward to this relatively easy solution for my problem. But I never should have let her go that far. She wasn’t happy with this arrangement, and I knew that it was because she wanted you. I thought that… that she surely knew what she was doing, that you’d broken up, maybe that it’s just been some silly infatuation anyway. I’d thought that we could help and support each other, that I could cheer her up again. But I should have known better. I should have known her better!”

Gulping, Hiccup clenched his hands into fists, hoping that Eret wouldn’t notice. “There’s no point in you blaming yourself for this,” he said as steadily as he could muster. Damn yes, the thought of her marrying Eret had hurt like barely anything else. But he couldn’t let Eret see that, couldn’t let that beast of stupid jealousy and hurt loose. It was unfounded anyway, wasn’t Eret’s fault. “Logically, her marrying you would be the most prudent solution, even now. I have to believe that there is a way for us to be together or I’d go insane – but you’ve just seen how hopeless it is. And if I hadn’t stumbled into her life like this, then I know that you and she could be happy together. Which is all I want for her.”

Now, it was on Eret to give him a strained smile. “Welcome to the club.” Then he sighed. “It’s all a mess, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is,” Hiccup agreed. However, he found that, inside, the jumbled mess of emotions was calming down. Because everything he’d told Eret was true. He wasn’t angry at him, not really. Eret was just as much a pawn in the Gods’ games as he and Astrid were – maybe even more so. “But we’re good, I’d say. We all should have said something so we’re all to blame at least a little. But now, all that doesn’t matter anymore anyway. We’re good.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Eret said, nodding. “But now that we’ve cleared that… there’s one other point I need to know. Not… Not for myself, but… Odin, she really is like a sister to me. And Daniel explicitly left her in my care, so…” He hesitated, but then turned even more serious than before. “What was it Ruff and Tuff were referring to earlier? About her sneaking out of the castle and to the stables, about the noises Tuff overheard. The truth, Hiccup. You owe me that much.”

Hiccup bit his lip and turned away from Eret. He still didn’t want to talk about this, but he had a point. As her brother, he had a right to be worried. “You know what they meant,” he said in a low voice, the memory of those wonderful nights with her heavy on his mind. “Yes, she spent nearly every night with me at the stables. And yes, we did more than just peacefully sleep side by side. But… there was no penetration of any kind, she’s still untouched in the way that matters – which is what you’re concerned about, I assume. I’m not that stupid. Besides, if I’d gone that far, Cami would’ve skinned me alive,” he added with a weak laugh.

“Cami knows?”

At his surprised exclamation, Hiccup threw Eret a sheepish look. “She does. Although, until yesterday, even she didn’t know who. Just that I was meeting someone; I asked for her advice on more than one occasion, so...”

“I see,” Eret replied as Hiccup trailed off, his lips twitching. “Well, I’d say that’s going to be a fun conversation the next time we meet her – whenever that’ll be.” He sighed. “Either way, that’s enough reassurance for me. And… well, I didn’t really expect you to do more. I just had to make sure, you know?”

Grimacing, Hiccup nodded. “Yeah, I get that. I… I probably would have done the same.” If my sister would still be alive, he added mentally but suppressed that thought directly.

“Good. Then I don’t need to emphasise that it had better stay that way now, too. It’s complicated enough as it is, even without adding an unplanned pregnancy.”

At that, Hiccup laughed, though without any humour. “Don’t worry. I’ve learned my lesson.” He hadn’t forgotten, after all. He didn’t know what the Gods’ plan was, but the timing of their separation was still too precise to be a coincidence. He wouldn’t risk getting parted from her again just for a little intimacy. There was too much at stake. However, he didn’t explain himself at Eret’s questioning look, just shook his head and asked, “Is there anything else?”

“No, I guess not. So yeah, it’s time to at least get a little bit of rest. Sleep well, Hiccup.”

“Thanks. You, too.”

Once back in the other room, Hiccup quickly slipped under his cover again, and couldn’t help the soft sigh at taking her back into his arms. Gods, how much he’d missed this! Just her weight and her warmth, her soft breathing and familiar scent. Just being that close to her again and, hopefully, never having to truly part.

“Hiccup?” came her sleepy voice, barely more than a sigh. She didn’t even open her eyes, just shifted a bit at his movement.

“I’m here, Milady,” he whispered back, and brushed his lips over her forehead. “Now sleep.”

Humming, she complied, and not even a minute later, she lay still and quiet again, the soft smile still on her lips. The sight made him smile too as he settled comfortably at her side.

However, he also couldn’t completely smother the tiny flickers of doubt in the back of his mind. He remembered the words of the Goddess, about how there was always hope and about how he only needed to do what came naturally, only needed to do the Gods’ work to get his reward.

But what did that even mean?

So far, everything he’d done had come naturally to him, hadn’t it? It had all felt like the right decision, at that moment at least. And even though things had turned a little brighter now, it could still all go wrong again at any moment. There still was not even the slightest hope for a solution…

Well, pondering about it now wouldn’t get him anywhere. He would have to wait and see what the following days would bring them, whether he, Astrid, or one of their new supporters would come up with some new ideas or whether, through some miracle, another path would reveal itself to them.

Now, all he could do was enjoy the moment, enjoy being reunited with her when he hadn’t thought that to ever happen again. He was incredibly tired after this endless day of emotional turmoil with the ball and the ride and after the previous night where he also hadn’t slept all that much.

But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to get the rest he needed. He didn’t want to fall asleep, to close his eyes. All he wanted was to watch her sleep, smiling in her dreams, and not miss a single moment of the time they had.

. o O o .

So, that was that... The situation really doesn't look good, does it?

And to everyone who keeps insisting Hiccup and Astrid should just run away and don't care about anything else... here's what my co-writer/alpha-reader athingofvikings has to say on that matter:

There are several issues /which have been brought up already in the fic/, but to emphasize them: Yes, they could run away. But they are in the center of the kingdom, and they are two people. So the next morning-or two mornings, if Ruff and Tuff manage to lie their asses off that the Princess is 'indisposed' (which would probably get them executed when it comes to light)-Astrid is discovered to be missing. Now, a horse with a rider can make about 15 km/hour (10 mph, for the Americans in the audience) if you're not running at a flat out gallop (which quickly exhausts the horse).

So lets say they get 100 km away on the road with that head start. So that next morning, when they realize she's missing, /and so is Eret III's squire/, along with two horses, the King asks Eret II to borrow ALL his horses to mount a search party for the kidnappers. And Eret II, his house looking at dishonor and arguably a /treason/ charge, not only says yes, but offers to lead the search. And /they/ don't care about exhausting their horses; they'll bring spare horses to swap out when the first gets tired, so they'll be going twice as fast, if not faster. Bounties get posted, and everyone knows that the Princess is out there. And while Hiccup and Astrid don't know this, the conspirators would /leap/ on the chance to do a bit of bride abduction, and send out their own search parties. So where do they go? Any village will note that a man and a woman on /fine horses/ came through just yesterday, and if they avoid the villages, that slows them down even more and makes it easier for their pursuers to follow them. And once they get caught, Hiccup would have to /hope/ that he's just hung from Odin's Tree.

But let's say that, through some miracle, they manage to escape the search parties. Then what? They can't really settle down; they'd have to flee the country or risk recognition, and if someone else figured out who they were, then Hiccup would be killed and Astrid ransomed back.

And that's just the practical aspects, even before getting into the fact that Astrid and Hiccup have a sense of duty to their stations, and wouldn't just abandon them. But those practical aspects have already been addressed by Hiccup, and barring a change in circumstance or situation, they're stuck. Right now, Astrid is in a gilded cage, and while the bars aren't necessarily visible, they /will/ run into them if they try to fly to freedom.

Next chapter

#FTLOAP #For The Love Of A Princess #Hiccstrid #fanfiction #hiccstrid fanfiction #Hiccup and Astrid #httyd #romance #Angst #Friendship #Fluff #royalty au #hiccstrid royal au #Hiccstrid Medieval AU #medieval au

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