#sometihng about fate

[jawritter]

Something About Fate...

Chapter 4

Summary:  Y/N has been homeless and living on the streets of Dallas, Texas since the start of Covid. Until one day, a handsome, green eyes strange notices her and turns her whole world upside down.

Warning: Change, even good change, can be scary, and even a little hard...

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader (eventually).

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This series is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This series will contain mature content eventually, and therefore is unsuitable for persons under 18 years of age! Anyone under the age of 18 will be blocked for my blog! Thanks so much for reading! I hope you all enjoy this series!

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Y/N and Jensen had been trapped in the hotel room in Dallas for three days and three nights. In that time period, Y/N had learned a few things about the mysterious actor. First, he didn’t act like any rich guy she’d EVER encountered, whether that be while she was still living on the street, or while she was a working-class citizen. 

He was mostly a quiet person, but somehow, it seemed easy to just BE with the man, and not feel the need to be pressured into a conversation. He was perfectly content to sit next to her on the bed or couch, and just watch whatever was on TV. 

TV. That was a whole new topic all together. Having been living on the streets for so long, and only seeing any form of news or goings on in the world around her from the passing magazine stand, or outdoor advertisement, she didn’t realize just HOW behind on things as she was, but more on that later. 

When they were talking, he was the tentative, focused, and open person she’d ever met. Which shocked the hell out of her. 

She didn’t realize this about herself either, but she had forgotten how to converse with people. She forgot how to hold a casual conversation with someone. She had no idea how that had happened, but it had. It took a lot of silent, long stretches of Jensen probing her a little to attempt to get to know her, but finally, she figured it out, and when she did, it took an immense effort on her part to actively not shut down every time Jensen asked her a question. She had to almost convince herself it was okay to talk to him, and that he wasn’t out to hurt her, like so many other had been in the past before she could get herself to open up to him, but she was glad she, because she like the person she found herself with, even if she still didn’t really recognize herself yet. She really had lost herself along the way…

Jensen was also very patient with her; something she’d ever experienced with ANY man, rich and famous or not. Never once did he get irritated with her. Even when he had to press her a little to figure out if she was hungry, or to convince her to allow him to pay for food. He didn’t get irritated when he ordered her a cell phone, and handed it to her, only to quickly learn she knew nothing about phones anymore, and he had to basically teach her how to use one. He never complained when she had to learn how to work the keycard for the room, or maybe spent too much time in the bath. He never even raised his voice at her, not once.

She’d only spent three years on the street, but trying to take a step back into society, she felt like she’d been out for decades. So much had changed in just three years it wasn’t even funny. She felt like she’d never catch up, and never be normal again. If there was really such a thing as ‘normal’ anyway. Jensen said there wasn’t. He was probably the most understanding person she’d ever met in her life. 

She couldn’t for the life of her understand how the man was still single, though, he did tell her that he was married at one point, and had three kids with the woman, but they had just grown apart in the latter part of their marriage, and they were better as co parents than an actual married couple. It made her wonder if there were some things Jensen was hiding, some issues or flaws she was too blindsided by the things going on around her to see, but so far, he’d given no hint to anything being gravely wrong.

“Have you ever flown before?” Jensen questioned, bringing her out of her head with a slight jump when he spoke as he zipped the bag of clothing up in front of him, and placed it onto the floor next to the bed. 

They were getting ready to fly out to California in a few hours, which would give her a little glimpse of his life outside of this room, and that made her incredibly nervous. 

“I have, but it’s been years,” she admitted. “Somewhere around the age of ten I think, and I don’t really remember it.”

Jensen nodded as he looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was barely four in the morning, and they were already about to head down to the Uber that was going to take them to the airport. She was no idiot. She’d heard him talking to his friends, and they were flying out so early to spare her the gawking fans asking questions as to who she was, and why she was flying with Jensen, when he usually flew alone. 

She wanted to confront him, ask him why, if he was ashamed of her or something, but she didn't. She kept her peace. For one, she was lucky he didn’t just fuck her like she thought he was going to, slit her throat, and throw her in a dumpster to rot somewhere. So she wasn’t going to question his methods right now. 

“It will be fine,” Jensen continued as he tossed not only his bag over his shoulder, but also the small bag of things that Felicia had collected for her and brought to the room. Literally, all she owned right now to her name, fit in a gym bag. The sad part about this was it was already more than she’d had in years. “It’s a super early flight, and it’s first class. I wouldn’t be surprised if we are the only ones in first class this morning, we can probably catch some sleep before we land.”

Y/N nodded, knowing damn good and well sleep wasn’t something that was going to happen for her. Maybe him, but not her. She wasn’t even nervous about flying until he brought it up… damn him.

“Will your friends be flying with us?” she questioned as she followed him down the completely vacant hallway, and to the elevator that would take them downstairs. 

“Na, Jared’s just going back to Austin, so he and Clif are just gonna drive, and Felicia has a later flight out to New York. Something about a project she has to get ready for, but honestly I was so tired when she was talking to me about it I wasn’t really listening,” he revealed with a chuckle as they stepped inside the elevator, and the large metal doors close behind them, leaving behind the kinda, sorta HOME she’d known for the last three day, in well, three years…

“Once we get to LA and get to the Air B&B, we can go shopping for a few things you're gonna need to actually do the job I’ve got you hired for; a laptop, pick up your iPad, things like that. I’m not filming or anything, but I wanted to spend some time In LA before we have to gear up for the next con.” 

Jensen continued to ramble about LA as they made their way through the mostly empty lobby towards the black SUV that awaited the pair outside that would take them to the airport, and Y/N’s heart seemed to pick up speed as a heavy weight settled in her chest. 

This was real… This was happening…

She’d never not left Dallas since she was a child. She never imagined herself living anywhere else. Now, he’s about to literally take her away from the only place she’d ever known, drag her all the way to LA, then once they were done there to Rome, then Toronto, then finally, when all that was done, possible New Mexico if they get renewed for a fourth season, before they could finally go back to Texas. Only God knew what would come up between them. It was surreal…

“Hey,” Jensen said, taking her hand in his own and pulling her out of the sudden fog she’d fallen into, and back to reality where he stood in front of her with the car door open, waiting for her to slide inside. “You okay?” 

Y/N nodded as her eyes suddenly started to sting, but she shoved it down, WAY down, and when he fell asleep on the plane, she’d cry then. She’d mourn the future she thought she’d have, that clearly she never was meant to have here in Dallas. She’d mourn the life she should have had, but now had to leave behind. She’d mourn it, and she’d leave it right there in the air, miles and miles above the past she was leaving behind. 

Not all of her memories from Dallas were bad ones, there were some good mixed in there too, but not enough to hold her here, not enough to make her stay. There had been plenty of warning from the Universe that it was time to move on. Some sort of higher power had sent Jensen her way that fateful day, or she was certain she would have frozen to death. This is the path she was meant to take, but that didn’t make things any less hard, or scary for that matter. 

Jensen watched her closely as she slid herself into the backseat, and took a deep breath as she watched him close the door with a tightlipped smile on his face. It was almost as if he knew how hard this was for her, but wouldn’t say anything out loud, not that she even wanted him too. Some things, even though you have someone sitting right next to you, you just have to walk through all by yourself. 

“Hey, if you need some time, if this feels like we’re moving around way too fast, just tell me. I can move some things around and give us more downtime. I don’t mind. I want you to be okay, that’s my main concern,” Jensen offered as the Uber driver took off towards the airport, and Y/N watched out of the frosty window at the dim light of the morning as it stretched it’s arms just over the top of tall buildings, still casting their own light over the streets of Dallas, the streets that she’d once called home. 

“No, it’s okay,” she assured him, not even taking her eyes off of the window as the familiar sights rolled by. Like the park she’d slept on the benches of so many nights, or the little sandwich shop she’d met Jensen at. All these familiar things, and yet, they all seemed so far away now. To which she was grateful, even if she was a little dumb struck in the moment. “I’ll be okay.”

Jensen reached over the small space between the pair of them, grabbing her hand in his to catch her attention away from the past that was now zooming by her so fast she could only see a cold blur, to focus on the more important future that was sitting right next to her. 

She’d be a liar if she said her heart didn’t skip a beat every time he touched her in any way, and that was dangerous. Very, very dangerous. She couldn’t go catching feelings and fucking this up, she just couldn’t let herself do it.

“It’s gonna get easier, I promise,” Jensen said, and she could only nod at him, and look down at the floorboard, a lump the size of Texas suddenly invading her throat and cutting off her ability to speak. 

“I got something for you while you were asleep this morning,” Jensen offered, letting go of her hand to reach into his pocket and she stared back at him in confusion. 

“While I was asleep? We’ve been up since 4AM! Did you sleep at all?!” she questioned, and he chuckled as he pulled a small, silver set of keys from his pocket. One looked like a house key, and the other was very clearly a car key.

“Na, not really, I guess I don’t sleep much anymore. But that’s not important,” he blew her off, as she examined the small set of keys in her hand. “One of those is the key to our house in Austin, where you will be staying with me, and the other is to one of the cars in the garage that you can use. No sense in being stuck at home while we’re there if you want to get out because you have to wait for me to get home to go somewhere.”

“Jensen!” She breathed, looking back up at him in utter shock as the car pulled up to the airport. 

“Hey, I don’t want an argument about it,” he teased, clearly amused at the shocked look on her face. “If you’re gonna be my assistant, then you’re gonna have to be able to get around for me sometimes, and besides, I want you to have some independence.”

“But… Jensen… I don’t even have a driver’s license anymore! It’s been three years since I’ve driven! What if I can’t even drive anymore?” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he assured her for what seemed like a thousand times that morning. “It’s just like riding a bike. Not something you tend to forget how to do, and I can fix the license thing once we get back to Austin. You’re gonna be fine sweetheart, just trust me.”

Y/N swallowed hard and followed suit as Jensen made to step out of the car at the airport, and began to retrieve their bags from the back of the SUV. 

She did trust him, she didn’t understand why, but she did. That didn’t mean she trusted herself though, that was the problem.

Forever:

@britnwinchester​​

@samanddeaninatrenchcoat​​

@wittysunflower

@demongirl1996​​  

@as-lost-as-sams-shoe​​

@jensenslady79​​

@spnwoman​​

@stoneyggirl2​​

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men​​

@stixnstripesworld​​

@fullwattpadmusictree​​

@nancymcl​​

@christycreature​​

@whiskey-infused-dreams​​

@supernatural79impala​​

@deandreamernp​​

@forgetthisbull​​

@miraclesoflove​​

@slamminmine​​

@deanwanddamons​​

@rvgrsbrns​​

@chevyharvelle​​

@i-love-superhero-movies​​

@lyss-dw79​​

@magssteenkamp​​

@lemondropirwin​​

@squirrelnotsam​​

@hobby27​​

@spnbaby-67​​  

@mrsjenniferwinchester​​

@defenderrosetyler​​

@thecreatiivecorner​​  

@vicmc624​​

@busy-bee-angel-misska​​

@justanotherwinchester​​

@brilovesdeanwinchester​​

@idksupernatural​​

@lyarr24​​

@emoryhemsworth​​

@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel​​

@flamencodiva​​

@itmejado

@thoughts-and-funnies​​

@teresa-67​​

@hearteyes-j2​​

@peaches007​​

@bobbie3939​​

@vulgar-library​​

@writercole​​

@fairlyspnfanfic​​

@sexyvixen7​​

@spngi​​

@b3autyfuldisast3r​​

@donnaintx​​

@maliburenee​​

@the-family-business67​​

@agirlwithdemonblood​​

@captainsoldiergirl​​

@twinkleinadiamondsky​​

Jensen and Dean’s Babes

@deans-baby-momma​​  

@impalaslytherin​​

@perpetualabsurdity​​

@msmarvelouswinchester​​

@akshi8278​​

@love-jackles​​

@irmcpar​​

@pink-sparkly-witch​​

@deans-spinster-witchs-favorites​​

@herstarburststories​​

@mimaria420​​

@deanwinchesterswitch​​

@charred-angelwings​​

@pascal-rascal424​​

@myloversgone​​

@fortheloveof-jackles​​

@eevvvaa​​

@bts-spnlvr12​​

@jxackles

@lassie-bird​​

@samsgirl93​​

@shawnie74​​  

@kaz11283​​

@mlovesstories​​

@ladysparks78

@sarahgracej​

SAF tag list

@itsdesiree86​

@evilunicorns4minions​

@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld​

@thefemalestorywriter​

@tapedeck-hearts​​

@tristanrosspada-ackles  

@southerngal96

@mavisiceroo

[hectorthedoggo]

Mahiru decides it’s her turn to do the parenting of es (inno verdict au)

THIS IS SO BAD OH MY GOd but if you guys wanna read it i suppose food is food. i am going on hiatus after this one (if all goes well) (I do have ~1.8k of next fugue chapter done but... i don't like it...)

-

start of character study fic that i never finished

When Mahiru was young, she had once found a baby bird in her yard. It had fallen from the nest, and it seemingly had nowhere to go.

It begged, yelled, for anyone to help it. Mahiru had excitedly taken it in, cradling it as gently as possible, finding all sorts of books in the library on how to take care of a baby bird.

As she had grown closer to it, in taking care of it, watching it grow, a new sense of pride came in. And, a new feeling, she would come to know, as posessiveness.

She didn’t hang out with her friends, instead opting to watch it hop around in her little homemade nest.

Eventually, her parents caught on, and explained to her, with slight horror, that she had done something bad.

But, they never explained what about it was bad. They didn’t let her outside often, after that incident.

But, she never learned from the incident.

It always stuck in her head, as she pined through reading romance, of the idea of one true love, one to fawn over until they both died, a love that lasted through trials and tribulations.

As the world threw more and more issues and expectations at her, she decided to latch onto that idea. Just as she had found that bird in her backyard, she believed it was fate.

-

The next time she had met the bird from her childhood was with Ren. He was crying on the school rooftop, and Mahiru took one look at him.

She knew.

So, she softly introduced herself, asking him what was wrong.

The rest was history.

-

He was dead. He was dead. He was dead.

The one she thought would stay with her, forever, gone.

And it might’ve been just because of her.

Yapping yapping

Milgram used to be empty. There used to be nothing, a sense of doubt. The INNOCENT verdict changed everything.

She realized how true her love was. How perfect it was.

Post highlighting ideas

Okay guys so you have heard of overly-paternal Shidou. Now get ready for: overly-maternal Mahiru. (maybe in a fic). I just wanna explain my reasoning for believing in this so that it doesn’t seem sudden IF she gets like this.

Mahiru and Shidou are foils for a reason.

She’s in love with ‘love’, which can be interpreted as a lot. It could be interpreted as romantic, yes, but also platonic.

Yes, her guilty verdict didn’t do good, but imagine what an INNOCENT verdict would do. She would assume her idea of love is correct (it isn’t). (even with the guilty verdict, she kept kinda believing in love. *shivers*)

And, drawing from the bf was already suicidal mentality, that’s a sort of “i can fix him” mentality she took there. Like, finding an injured baby bird, and taking care of it to feel better about herself, despite accidentally ruining its future.

It doesn’t matter if it’s romantic in nature or not; she’s in love with the idea of taking care of sometihng.

That mentality would get WORSE. Because, I’m assuming she used love as a coping mechanism; which, would be expemplified in a stressful environment such as milgram.

I think they all need fixing, but guess who is ALONE. Guess who is young, pathetic, and not coping well with an environment they were forced into.

Guess who’s the equivilant of an injured baby bird. That’s right folks: Es Milgram.

I think it would start with minor things, like checking in with them.

And, they would want the comfort, they would crave it, but insist otherwise. She would figure out their craving, and OH GOOD LORD.

Someone’s not getting their complaints listened to (they don’t know better they don’t know true love_

She would fall deeper and deeper into her mentality of ‘they need my help, it’s so domestic’ ‘i’m useful this way’ ‘this is almost like my purpose’

I actually know someone who’s kinda like this (less intense ofc), but with dogs and children and says it’s kinda like this. So. i have some backing for this mentality.

She would enjoy taking care of them, too much. She would sing them to sleep, she would bring their meals, encourage them to rest, basically be an impromptu mother. (fluff except es is slowly watching their sense of agency and therefore get taken away from them)

But, she would also get a little exhausting to be around, to keep up with. They’re constantly getting their sense of authority undermined, but they’ve also become a little addicted to love

And that’s fitting perfectly into the gender roles she loves, too. She’s def vibing.

Eventually, it would get to be too much, and they would start locking their door unless they have a moment of weakness and open the door for her.

Which, would increase her relentless knocking. Mahiru’s known to be relentless in terms of her love (breakup ritual and shi)

I think eventually, they would give up, and simply let her in, asking her to leave them alone.

T2 she would get a guilty verdict because audience can’t deal with her.

And i think that would make her WORSE, like accidentally guilt-tripping them to why she got a guilty verdict; 

Es would have an emotional attachment to her (accident), and that would make things worse for them. Bc. guilty verdict

idk tho i’ll probably just gonna write some comfort scenes from this au. It would probably be called ‘nestling’ or smth like that :D es would get comfort but at what cost (sickfic cauesd by trying to stay away from Mahiru)

Adding on about traditional family roles; shidou could potentially also participate in this madness. He could end up being the mediator, like the “i agree but maybe leave this kid alone”

Meanwhile, this whole time, Es is trying to hold onto their sense of identity, they hate being ‘babied’. dumpsterfire

es just wants to be warden please stop adding them to the “new (unhealthy) family 💛🩶🩵” gc

#excuse to write a platonic yandere fic #because i really really wanna do that for like a period of 30 minutes then look back on it like tf why would i write thsi #would i be forgiven if i wrote a fic like that vote now on your phones # but would you guys gen wanna see this

Es weakly coughed, curling up on their bed, trying to ignore everything. Their eyes and nose leaaked, and they were utterly pathetic and fatigued.

There was a knock on their door. “Es? Es, can I come in? Sorry, you’re really worrying me…”

Please. Please, god, just leave me alone.

“Mahiru- please… go away…” Their voice was parched; they hadn’t wanted to go out and get water. Holing myself up seemed like the best solution, but…

“Es? Oh no, sweetie, you really don’t sound good. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Please leave me alone. “Go…”

The rapid knocking resumed. “Es, c’mon. Let me in… I’ll make you your favorite~!”

I’ve never had a favorite. I just needed the food.

Their head shot through with pain, and they let out a little whimper.

She gasped. “Oh no! You’re sick!” No shit, Sherlock. “C’mon, Es, you’re going to have to let me in… sickness can be very bad, if left alone like this! Y’know, just having someone with you can increase healing!”

I bet she read that in a magazine. She is right, though. I do need food, I do need to drink, I definitely need sleep.

I just… can’t. Not with her around. I was just trying to cut her off, to get her away from me. Why isn’t she going? It’s been 2 days, she’s literally slept outside of my room.

“Es?”

This feels like a horror movie. Please.

Another knock.

Something in them broke. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t die here, so I have to be dependent. Honestly, though…

They used the last bits of their strength to open the door, to let her in.

She looked like she had been crying, but immediately scooped their weak self up into her arms. I hate this. Please, let me go.

They didn’t have the voice to say that. It wasn’t as if she’d listen. She ran her hand through their hatless hair. “Wah! Es, I’ll just have to wash this. But I’ll have to feed you, first.”

Get away from me. I could’ve done that myself, it’s just… they shivered. I’m scared of her.

Hey, at least I understand her boyfriend a little more, a beaten up optimism pointed out. My opinion doesn’t matter. With that MV, I’m pretty sure she’s going to get guilty.

It doesn’t matter my opinion on the matter. It would be biased.

She kept cradling them, forgetting about their other basic needs, before they coughed. “Ah right! I’m so scatterbrained. Here, Es. I’ll lay you down, and bring the food to you. I’ll be right back with water, then I’m going to prepare the food!”

They didn’t know what to say. They didn’t know what to think.

She hummed, a stark contrast to the earlier desperation in her voice, as she moved them towards their bed, gently tucking them in.

“Alright, Es. I’ll be right back, don’t you worry!”

As soon as she left, they allowed themself some tears. I really don’t like this. This isn’t who I am. I can’t be doted on like this, I need to be working.

She won’t let me get a word in. I’m not sure what to think around her.

a/n: TOP FIVE ways to let a teen KNOW you LOVE them!!

Check in on them during their every waking hour

This is a sure sign that you love them. Really makes them feel seen!

(if they lock their door (totally by accident)) sleep outside their room for days on end :D

A great way to demonstrate care, and loyalty! Persistence is key!!

Make them lose their sense of identity

Don’t worry, they didn’t need it anyways! They don’t need to be warden!! That’s not important to you, and it shouldn’t continue.

Care for them when they get sick (totally not because they were trying to avoid interactions with you)

Teehee what are you talking about? It must be some outer source of stress!

It’s really fun when they’re dependent!! Cherish that!!

Don’t let them discourage you!

It only matters that you enjoy this love. They might be a little unreceptive, but they’ll warm up to you! It might just take a bit!

^ Make sure to repeat the first 4 steps to assure them you’re not leaving, no matter how hard they try!! They’re just misguided, dw!! :)

[larksinging]

1 for sara/nyssa, 2 for black siren, and 3 for... your top 5 dctv characters, can i do that?

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: i think it was when i saw the scene on LOT where sara visits nyssa and i was like “i have no idea who this is but i am incredibly upset about this”

my thoughts: i mean what is there even to say??? they are so important to each other for what they kind of... represented to each other in their lives, and in all their interactions even without any buildup you can see how deeply they both care

What makes me happy about them: okay a lot of what i said above, but theres something really compelling about these two women stuck in a shitty situation finding comfort in each other

What makes me sad about them: hey remember that line from crisis on x-earth? because im dying. but really, how much... the universe kind of keeps them apart. they’ve always been victims of bad timing and situations not working out

things done in fanfic that annoys me: okay i don’t really read arrowverse fanfic (out of Fear) but like i said before, i Hate when people say nyssa would be jealous of a new lover of sara’s. No

things I look for in fanfic: them being happy?

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: for sara there’s a lot of options (ava is a good one), but honestly anyone who makes her happy and treats her right. nyssa doesn’t seem like the type to be willing to try a new relationship for QUITE a long time, like i think there’d always be a part of her that would immediately take back sara if sara came to her. 

My happily ever after for them: i dunno... nyssa joins the legends? they’d never have a Normal life, but a situation where they can both end up doing fighting stuff together probably

who is the big spoon/little spoon: nyssa lets sara be the big spoon most of the time bc it makes sara feel better about being so short 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: i tried to think of something sweet, but. training. it’s training. it’s. these fucking assassins. it’s training.

okay top five

laurel FUCKING lance: i mean do i even need to say it? laurel is so good. she’s just... one of those characters that was too good for the thing she was in. theres a lot about her arc and characters that’s kind of personal to me, but also she’s just a really well-written and compelling character. dinah laurel lance, always trying to save the world. also this includes black siren, so hah

sara lance: i would Die for my captain. but no really sara is also such a good character (this is a trend with the lances,,) who has been through so much but always manages to be sympathetic and relateable and compelling. also there’s just something so reassuring about her getting to be the captain while having a healthy mix of just beating the shit out of people and being emotionally supportive, but also like... its so nice to see an explicitly bisexual character allowed to be bisexual and comfortable in her sexuality but still have relationship issues and doubts and all that. 

caitlin snow: she really rose up on this list fast tbh?? i have a real soft spot for characters struggling with identity issues or struggling with powers they can’t control, and a lot of caitlin’s arc has been... exactly that. sometihng about caitlin’s reserved and even cold tendencies feels very real (esp after seeing her mother), and there’s something really tragic in her tendency to not talk to her team. i know a lot of people shit on her but it feels kinda skeevy to attack someone who suffered a lot of trauma and abuse for not handling stuff the absolutely best way 

thea queen: okay i debated about this a bit, but i had to put thea on here. thea’s arcs have always been very... well, real. thea suffers from her parent’s crimes (all of them), and that’s always been a huge part of her development. oliver’s actions hurt her too, but her character is REALLY about finding ways to overcome their treatment and their actions. also she has some of the best lines in arrow, so 

iris west: okay i also debated a bit about this, and considered putting a character i really like on here instead, but it feels wrong to have a top 5 list without iris? iris is just. so good. her refusal to sacrifice her desires and her individuality while also still being supportive and there for her friends and barry is so nice to see. while i liked her a good amount, it was really her s3 and some s4 arc that won me over? theres just something so compelling and upsetting about iris being the only one to possibly accept her fate and trying to find ways to make her life meaningful while everyone is refusing to admit it’s a possibility. the only reason she’s lower than thea on my list is bc thea is a slightly more personal character to me

[thetruthinlies]

.What ‘real monsters’ are

( This one is inspired by this post, and this cover. I know you didn’t request for one, but if I am to become an aspiring writer, I shall adhere to Stephen King’s words and write as much as I can. So Ai-chan, this one is for you and your cute Brick and a bit on his relationship with his beautiful Ma. )

Word count: 2561 words.

“Monsters exist, but they are too few in number to be truly dangerous. More dangerous are the common men, the functionaries ready to believe and to act without asking questions.”

One shouldn’t be surprised at reading stories or hearing legends from their fathers, grandfathers or their old relatives of the existence of demonic presences. The things that one would call imaginary, things that don’t exist because all the living creations on earth were simple, practical, and self-driven, or mindless. 

One thing each living being have in common; survival.

Their own survival is all what matters most, as taking that away would end their story, and they would lose their role in this play. Charles Darwin nailed the term himself when studying finches and beetles that had only left him with a sour taste in his mouth.

Living beings strive to survive to keep their legacy going. To keep playing the foolish game they want to “win”, to find end-goals to this long-winded mystery called life. This essence that brings them to this planet, requiring to breathe, move, eat, drink and slumber to maintain. This curious phenomena of existence..

The tale goes on.

Mankind label beings of fur, of scales and claws, fins, and wings to be something different from them, animals due to their lack of capacity to communicate in the many human languages, being unable to think in ways that a human would, instead resorting to their means which in the terms of the sapiens, were unintelligent. Brainless. Strange.

Sometimes when the boy looked at fellow beings in their upright poses, hunched over ones and foolish actions, he begins to question ‘who really are the brainless ones?’ Another question arises within his small little head. “Why?”

Why are humans considered the most intelligent of the race of living, smarter than plants who can create their own food and live without having to endanger the lives of another species similar to them. Why are humans considered one of the more perfect beings, being able to adopt mannerisms of furred animals and be considered smart for that? Weren’t they the ones who called these beings foolish?

Humans couldn’t create their own food without having to take other living beings and derive their nutrition from it. Their own stomachs did not create it and distribute it to the rest of the body unlike the green little leaves that crunch in the dry and beautifully cold season. Plants did not have damage one another to exist. They did not even bother with the other beings that were so close, similar and existing. Breathing the same air as them.

Unlike the species of human.

Cats did not randomly attack a human being until they feel threatened to do so, and the carnivores had only slain enough to maintain their life, but human.. oh humans..

They slain another of their species because they liked it. Human beings did not eat one another, they simply kill one another by a reason of anger. They may not liked the words of another, and they would not only kill that one person, but an entire group because of association, or believing that every kind of person in a certain group deserved it.

Deserved it for breathing alone.

Brick couldn’t comprehend that. It made him wonder why people had treated him as if his glance alone would kill them ( and it would, mind you. ), shying away because he had shown characteristics that were not exactly “human”. So what if he could fly, or shoot heat through his eyes, mankind had never been the lovers of peace, they had only wanted the best for themselves. 

Even if they lacked the fearsome power he had, they were possibly worse than him, a monster that was raised in the depths of hell, son of Satan himself. Looking at these eyesores claiming that his powers were dangerous, when their own minds were defiled, driven mad by power and the need to be wealthy..

Utter garbage.

That was all they were. Complete and utter garbage.

Crushing a lowly skull under the thick sole of his boot, he forgot to count how many times has done the same to the others that were lumping like a useless mound of nothingness.

Watching it fly like specks of dust, his eyes unamused and a lips pursed, he glanced at it as if it would turn into something else. Maybe the little specks could gather together and create butterflies, flying within amidst the air. Fragile to the core, they are, but befitting to see.

The wind was tightened, clenching clouds from the sky unmoved, threatening to cry at the sight. Here was a young boy who was probably as old as an infant who studied in the laps of their mothers, or the ones who fit a huge glove into their little fingers to catch the ball their father would throw in pleasure.

Here this young child stood, clothed in crimson and deep black, with eyes that were as dark as the colour of the bodies spilling on the ground; bloody. Whose skin was still soft, moon-kissed and clear, save for the dust that flew by him, or the red that threatened to stain his beautiful face.

The grounds were dry, thirsting for a liquid to smoothen the surface. Grey as his mood was, it looked less like the beginning of a storm, and more like a sad passing. An emptiness that was similar to the hole where his heart should’ve been. 

Then again, he questioned whether he even had that organ to begin with. There was a flow within his arteries and veins, but it felt cold unlike what the books would say it was. Warm, the key to maintain body temperature, practically the reason why they had said warmth comes from the heart instead of the brain.

Without the heart, the human body could become cold as ice and be unresponsive. The brain couldn’t hold the warmth of the heart, it only served to deliver thought and action into the body, but the food that the body needed, that love that makes the brain move was the heart.

The heart unconditionally pumps blood to keep the body living.

But he never found his heart beating for him. His blood was still, almost non-existent. There was no crimson warmth, but a black emptiness. This could’ve been because he was created, not birthed.

This child who could’ve been a sweet, kind, or someone who could understand the tales of the human race. 

But fate surely laughs upon the souls of the unfortunate.

As every claim had its counter-argument, or sometihng that loved to oppose, there came in his life something that didn’t agree with his viewpoint. Every sentence had something that combatted it, no matter how many times it could be considered correct. There was always that one counter.

Just as there was a returning punch to one that was given. An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

There came someone who didn’t look at him and shriek. She didn’t blink in fear for her life, wondering how bad her choice was to see who this cute little monster was. No, she smiled, hoping that she could mend that hurtful look in his eyes that he couldn’t see.

The pain that was throbbing for so long to the point he didn’t notice, the wounds that had tore through his body.. none of it that he could have a heart to care about, a mind to fear, or a conscience to understand.

Seeing her gentle existence irked him. You see, humans can sometimes play the card of the clever fox, sly and cunning. some of them upon finding out what one may need, pretend to hold that sentiment or item just to lure them to a trap.

That could mean this woman was doing the same, knowing he couldn’t understand feelings of warmth.

With this in mind, he seethed at her. “What do you want from me, woman? I have nothing of your interest and you have nothing for me.”

She only smiled, reponding back lightly. “You looked lonely, and I thought.. it’d be nice to keep you company.”

With this strange woman, he couldn’t find a moment where she was trying to give him away, or find a means to hurt him no matter how many times he had hurt her.

It was surely something new. Something that stupid books didn’t say, or the words of gross beings said. Gross as those people only try to make themselves look good by bragging about their features of good nature but did nothing that was worth being happy about.

Those people who were just wolves in sheep’s clothing, or devils in angel’s robes. True scum that walked on the faces of the planet who deserved nothing but their heads rammed through the ground, forget six feet underground, make it sixty feet. Where their entire bodies can burn in the core of the earth as if it were just another pile of sorry waste.

She was sweet to him, taking his hand within hers as she showed him around places that were graced with colour, with the sun shining, not brightly to burn the eyes, but enough to illuminate even dirty places as something that was not as bad as it looked.

The silver linings that the clouds had been obscuring for so long were finally visible.

She took him home, bathed and clothed him in more comfortable clothing, made sure he was acquiring enough food for his body to regulate movement and function, and moreover, she made the deep inky darkness that ran through his veins feel a bit more.. mellow.

Almost as if that was not what flowed through him. He was not corrosive, not a pain to be breathing next to, or someone who was not worth smiling to. He was not different from others due to his special powers that he was born with.

He was the same as anyone else. Weird, but a living being trying to survive.

She made him feel as though he can open a new leaf, just like opening a notebook that was brand new, unlike one that was full of cryptic scribbles, he was anew. For a moment there, he had forgotten that his existence was different, his goals were set even before he learnt how to breathe.

He felt.. humanly.

Perhaps it was just a term for lack of a better word. This was to say that monsters were not animals, demons were not innocent creatures who were simply trying to live and co-exist with the rest of the living beings in the world, they are weaker than the cruelty of a human itself.

There is only a fine-centimeter distance between the difference of man and monster. Monsters were ferocious on the outside and perhaps on the inside as well, but their faces were what frightened others to approach, leaving them to be isolated, kept aside or slain.

Human beings however..

Human beings were truly the most dangerous beings on the planet. Their faces were clean and proper, pleasing to the other and enabling them to be accompanied by other species. They looked tender, innocent, and had a voice that ranged from different octaves, nonetheless, convincing to be harmless. They had no claws, no fur on their faces, and no gutteral growls that rip the spines out of the weaker. No, they had none of it.

They were softly created, with smiles on their lips, with nails that unsharpened, and with gentler features. Recall that this is the outside features that lull others into their presence.

Their hearts and minds.. oh if only they were as pure as snow.

They had the power of words, of deceit, manipulation, and sweet nothings that drawn others in, only to face the cruel fate of believing in the falsehood. For being gullible, are monsters punished when associating with a human.

He’s seen fellow human beings that she looked up to, who were only trying to gain something from her. He seen the sweet words they could say to her, making her feel special, wanted and loved.  The very same thing that he was worried that she was trying to do with him was playing like a broken record player right in front of him.

Filthy beings trying to mould her into something they wanted her to be, something they said she was born to be. People who took advantage of her kindness, taking it as something that they were entitled to, seeing as they were ‘good’ to her.  Brick couldn’t stand it. How many more bastards were there that were living, getting away with the horrid actions that they breathe every single day with.

How many more.. he cracked his fingers dangerously, probably breaking a few in the process as he stood up and walked over to them..

Here he was, standing once more, bathed in crimson and volcanic ash that he had created to destroy those ugly faces with. Broken skulls and torn ligaments, their skin peeled like a fruit, and laying down as if it were backdrop.. There were his claws, sharp and fearsome, his eyes glaring down as if that alone brought death riding on his shoulders. There stood in front of the innocent woman.. the face of a monster.

She looked at the mound in fear, seeing it consisted of figures of those she had seen not too long ago. Looking at who stood on top of the mound as if he was looking at waste was her child, beautiful, cute, but with a look that broke her heart.

He was hurting beyond measure.

Her baby boy who she had grown so close to within those short few months, like a child she had birthed from her own womb. A little bud that was to bloom if he was given enough care, a boy who had done no wrong to her.

Nothing intentional, that is.

“Ma..” his tone was silent, piercing. “You took a monster and taught it to be human, but..”

She looked at him.

“That only shown me that.. humans are no different.” with heaviness in his breath, he swore in between his words.

“Not a single. difference.” he repeated, raising his voice as if angered with himself, letting the swear run sharply in the middle once more.

“I’m always going to be the one who hurts you.” even if the primary liquid that ran through his body was churning with warmth, he knew that this was only her love that was transpiring, trying to communicate with him.

Wishing he wouldn’t leave her. Not her child she was proud to know.

“You can’t be proud of me, Ma, and I can’t stay here.. I’m only going to keep doing this.” he kicked a body from the mound near her, meaning to say every person who he would come across would become as destroyed as what supposed to formerly be a human body. 

Completely eradicated.

“I’m only going to hurt you too..” turning his back from her, he ran.

If living ever gave a monster a chance, then he would choose to stay, exist with the woman who took him under her wing, calling him her son and showering him with only care and love that he deserved.

What she believed he deserved.

[randomnameless]

So i finally finished SOV - i mean the main story - and it was...

well at first when i got the game my expectations were rather low even with the good reviews fellow friends gave to the game so i was definitely surprised, in the good way. SOV feels like an old FE, as in it’s kind of subtle about things like humor - eons away from the ham fisted “humour” of Felicia stumbling and dropping plates or something - and characterisation, as in everyone had its own character and wasn’t simply a trope, which i appreciated a lot. Support convos were meaningful, brought backstory (for the ones i did) but not in an infodump way.

So that felt “old” in the good - classical - way, but when a friend who played first FE8 to Fates saw me playing he was like “nah i don’t like this” and well, I can’t really tell him to fig off but the mechanics are, well, not archaic nor outdated, but can be quite frustrating. Maybe it’s just me or I didn’t forge my weapons enough, but Leon/Python by the endgame were locked to perpetual 60ish% of hit and a lot of tiles in the last maps five stupid avoid like +20% which is frustrating. Of course you’re supposed to use mages, because they don’t suffer from the defensive tiles but it’s annoying that you can’t “reliably” destroy things with your mounted archers.

OTOH if 5 range had 100% hit it’d be broken as, idk, a 2 weight tome with 30 might.

But i can understand the “meh” factor coming from those hit rates, mages are paper thin - again it’s good for balance - but for someone who came out of Fates/Awakening it can be disturbing, especially since the speed stat (on the screen) doesnt’ take into account the actual speed you have, as in the tome weights a little bit so in the end you can be doubled.

But I’d say it’s just a habit to take. I was afraid of the hp drain mages had when they use magic but it’s not really that bothering since you end up with a lot of rings, it’s actually more bothersome on healers - Tatiana couldn’t spam fortify she had to be healed because the ring doesn’t recover enough hp - but otherwise it’s cool, besides clerics were actually useful as in they could heal AND fight with Nosferatu, even if Nosfe-tanking isn’t wise because of the low accuracy.

Lack of WTA wasn’t that debilitating, OTOH it felt a bit redundant, i don’t know how to say it but WTA gave more “thrill” or something, here you can send Terror!Kamui in a forest and everyone will miss because of his high avoid and nothing else will make this change (of course in this setting Duma goons are dead). Granted, horseslayers are still a thing to look for (clive learnt it :’( ) and you have skills against certain foes, like the steel lance gives armor slayer or something?

About skills, well they were, imo, well implemented. You can’t double attack with them so they’re not totally broken (save for Alm’s double lion but) and kind of cool.

But what I loved the most was the magic tree, as in everyone learns different magic and not at the same level so it kinds of makes you want to use everyone or at least complementary units, Delthea hits hard and fast, but she doesn’t have the 3 range Thunder spell Mae has (even if Mae doesn’t hit that hard, she doesn’t have Ragnarok but she’s still a super good unit, at least in this run). Sonya doesn’t get Seraphim (i wonder why lol) but she can rewarp, and has Excalibur. The male mages were a kind of letdown though (i was dumb and promoted Kliff to archer, Tobin to mage) even if the Sagittarius spell is rad, they’re nowhere near the level of the priestesses. Even the Saints are all useful, Silque has Warp, Faye has Rescue and Tatiana got Fortify and physic (like Faye), Genny can’t warp but she has Physic, that spell to remove low level monsters and she can summon randoms.

To end this quickly, while the gameplay can be a bit annoying (low hit rates) it’s very fun to play, or at least to test. The map design is meh (endless meadow with some forests and fort) but that’s coming from a “faithfum” remake so it’s to be expected.

Dungeon crawling was - tedious in the last dungeons but wait i still have the optional one damn everyone is hungry - really captivating, you had to watch over your food reserves, find a shrine to save, smash enemies and pots and sometimes hunt for treasure. Honestly, i really liked it. It felt very RPG like!

Naga Mila bless the turnwheel - that thing saved me so many soft resets and I hope it’ll be a staple in the series from now on, maybe pretend that the fire emblem in jugdral was stolen by azel in the prologue and it has this role in jugdral echoes, idk something like that.

Plot wise... well it’s old FE for you, with a compelling story, it isn’t trying too hard like the other 3DS entries and you can feel the lore around like the omnipresence of Mila’s church with people going on pilgrimages or the Duma faithful not being seen as an evil only cult, unlike the Grimleal, but it has normal persons in it - who are eons away from Jedah and his schemes but still part of the religious order like Tatiana (even if quite frankly without her the Faithful would have been an “evil cult” like Loptyr’s one, complete with the guy who tried to stop the evil new leader and was banished (not killed here) in return). Randoms in villages live, they want to fish, to farm, they’re afraid of bandits, they gossip and all...

However, I feel as if the last parts - chapter 4 and 5 - were kind of rushed. Of course chapter 4 has Rudolf’s master plan (tm) so it’s meh in essence, but Celica holds the idiot plot ball even if, well, Jedah is a cunning bastard and her struggles are real, she set on her journey to free Mila so she’ll do anything to save Mila.

Which actually makes me a bit doubtful about chapter 5 where we’re supposed to understand that men don’t need gods/dragons anymore, Clive (or is it Lukas?) tells Alm that without dragons people will starve and all, but he’s all “we will find a way i know it will be hard” like, of course with Duma being mad there is no way things can continue like this, but are people really okay with having to work on a barren land? Isn’t it the problem Zofia had in the beginning of the game, everyone was hungry and then Rigel attacked? It makes me think about FE5 and Dagda, he and Gomez are toiling the barren lands of Thracia and doesn’t bear any fruits, the reason why Gomez returns to banditry, and this is a problem but everything is magically solved when Leif becomes king because in Dagda’s ending we learn that somehow things managed to grow. Yay?

But Valencia will exist by the time Chrom rolls in, so the peasants magically managed to harvest their barren lands without the power of the dragons, yay for them too.

Also Alm wants to kill/seal/put duma to sleep because his power makes people grow mad, but as the narrator put it in the credits (and something Alm forgot) even without Duma people will still thirst for power and do stupid things. Granted it’s not as stupid as burning the only person who loved you into a witch, but it leads you to murder helpless children in a bid to sit on the Zofian throne. So that really made me frown - not in the puzzled way but in the bad way, why is Duma painted as so evil, his power is evil etc? I loved that scene in the temple (Mila vs rudolf) because Mila wasn’t portrayed at sometihng Emmeryn like, she was furious, kind of distrubing/scary and well, you could understand that she will fight/will kill you if she wants, even if she is suposed to be the earth mother, loving etc.

Duma? Nope, nothing to show that he cares or has compassion, he is a dastard who might be mad, only interested with power and turns people into evil people. This is something that distrubs me because Duma isn’t something like Loptyr, evil for the sake of being petty, he was supposed to watch over the humans just like Mila did, hell people were supposed to thrive and be somewhat happy, not crazed. If he is a dastard who only thrives for power and gives powers to people who offer their daughters to be changed into witches, why people worshipped him for hundred of years? We’re not talking about fanatics like Jedah or his army of blue people, but Tatiana, the random villagers, etc...? Heck even Fates tried to paint Anankos as a “good” guy before he turned sour, but nothing for Duma?

:’(

But even if I rant a bit, IMO Echoes is the best 3DS FE, even with its wonky hit rates and rewarping witches. Plot is here, gameplay is fun (i wanted to try to forge so many things) and dungeon crawling is rad. I’d definitely recommend it to friends who can look past the wonky hit rates. It isn’t “classic FE gameplay” but it’s enjoyeable nonetheless, and the voice acting is really good. Usually i wouldn’t care, but this is really nice and i hope it will return.