#sometimes a clear-cut lack of agency is enviable compared to being told you have agency when. it’s severely limited/not respected/etc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blueish-bird · 2 years

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writing a Part 1 CSM fic where everyone’s just hanging out, but I can’t work on it for too long or it makes me sad and lonely and a little hopeless because. at least they have each other and an apartment/home and know how to make food lmao.

#but also I can’t stop working on it because my coping mechanism of choice is escapism #vicious cycle #yes they’re doomed by the narrative. yes I’m jealous.#sometimes a clear-cut lack of agency is enviable compared to being told you have agency when. it’s severely limited/not respected/etc #(woah just like in Chainsaw Man)#I don’t want to fall into nihilism because at the end of the day I think we still have free will and can make choices/changes #but it’s on a pretty small level. which is why community and collaboration are so important!#fuck capitalism #I’m so hungry and tired all the goddamn time. I wish I enjoyed/was good at making food.#considering joining a meal subscription service because this shit is bananas #food mention #csm #my csm thoughts #meposting #csm fic #I’m hoping to post it soon. I crave validation.#idk what to expect though. haven’t been part of a rly popular fandom in a while (both /pos and /neg)#chainsaw man #I like how it’s turning out! my writing has always felt a bit barebones but. it’s a good foundation at least!

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