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#sometimes i remember a pivotal moment in the history of my time in the fandom
hellenar-ts · 2 years
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sometimes i wonder if im experiencing fandom burnout
like im still enjoying hololive but i guess the spark is gone, like the novelty of it all and yeah things change over time absolutely this fandom doesn’t feel the same as it felt back in january of 2021 when i found them for the first time and immediately tumbled head first into the rabbit hole
it’s probably the nostalgia though
like the memories of watching ina play hollow knight and monster hunter when i should’ve been paying attention during zoom classes (maybe that’s why i’m failing calc now) and starting to dip my toes into ao3 and listening to gura’s moon song cover for the first time and takamori being The holoen ship of all time (i still enjoy takamori but im more of a polymyth enjoyer) and watching that one takamori karaoke and bawling my eyes out and the april fools stream when holomyth debuted their smol live2Ds and and and oh god can you believe i’ve been in this fandom for almost 2 years now that is a LONG time jesus criminy christ
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fleurdehivers · 6 years
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who’s the true protagonist of trc?
okay, this is inspired by an old deleted post by, and a later conversation with @lynchlesbian about the “adam parrish and his band of merry men” line by the gray man, and us wondering what the fandom consensus is on who the real protagonist of the series is and why. i think mstief did a decent job of putting alll of them on the same level narratively speaking, or at least giving them the same amount of space, so a case could probably be made for all four characters and no option would be wrong a priori. 
i’ll put the rest under the cut, because this is going to be a little long.
i still wanted to try and break this down with a more thorough analysis. so, i think we should start by the definition of what a protagonist is: the term comes from ancient greek drama and literally means “first actor”, in the sense that the protagonist was literally the character that made the first appearance on the stage and was the focal point of the story. i consulted a number of websites and they all seem to agree on the fact that for most of history and in most cases a protagonist is also the hero, simply defined as the character we hope to see “win”, and the main character of the story. but sometimes the three do not coincide, and there begin the problems, because if they’re not one and the same we need to define separately what a protagonist and a main character are. and academia apparently hasn’t got a single and unanimous outlook on the matter, which makes things a little confusing. 
the main character is easier to classify:
it is either the character from whose perspective the story is written (sometimes this is also called the “point-of-view” character – in this instance gansey, blue, adam and ronan are all unequivocally main characters)
or simply the character with the most screen time (again, all four are main characters)
but, as defined in this article, usually a main character is also a character who experiences inner conflicts, and how said character resolves those conflicts often determines how the external conflict is resolved; to avoid confusion, i will call this case that of a “central character”
the protagonist is where things get muddier:
it is the person who opposes the antagonist (this is easy, they’re all protagonists again, save for tdt maybe, where ronan is the protagonist and the other are all co-protagonists)
it is, mainly, the character who is the primary pursuer of the story goal, which affects or involves most of the characters and its the source of external conflict; often the protagonist tries to persuade the other character to follow them in pursuing the goal
it can be the person who drives the plot, the one who makes decisions, who makes things happen and creates action; one writer suggested here that greg, the father of the family, is the protagonist of little miss sunshine because he drives the story forward by driving the car. i don’t necessarily agree with this interpretation, it feels somewhat simplistic, but there you go
it’s also a character that undergoes change, emotional, intellectual and/or spiritual growth, and travels from a point a to a point b, either literally or figuratively; at the end of the story they’re often wiser, more nuanced, better or just changed people 
now that we have our definitions, we can start applying them to the characters. 
let’s start by the most obvious one, i.e. gansey. if you want my straightforward opinion, gansey is the protagonist of the story; it’s not the answer my heart wants to give, but it’s the one that makes most sense to me. all characters are involved in the main plot, but gansey is the one clear pursuer of the story goal and the focal point of the story. whilst reading, the questions we’re supposed to ask ourselves are, will he find his dead welsh king? will he survive? why was he brought back to life the first time anyway? and, of course, he is the unspoken leader of the gangsey. and when someone challenges that leadership, he acts hurt and offended, like for the most part of tdt where he shuts adam out and feels betrayed by him. actually, in his words, the betrayal feels worse than if it had come from ronan, because evidently gansey wasn’t expecting adam of all people to discuss his central role in their quest. but. BUT. as per our precedent definitions, the protagonist is supposed to change and grow as the story progresses and this doesn’t seem to be gansey’s case. in fact, one could almost say that his main character flaw is his inability to change. he starts at one point in the story and he finishes in the exact same spot. the narrative denies him the possibility to become a better person and rectify his mistakes. and he’s also not always, perhaps not for the most part, the person driving the plot forward, making decisions and creating action. 
in fact, that role could be fulfilled by adam or ronan. adam is the first character to create action, because a) he’s the one asking blue out and therefore making their fates intertwine, and b) he’s the one who convinces gansey to go to the psychics about glendower. he also jumpstarts the narrative by waking the ley line, thus setting the magic element in motion. he makes a bargain with cabeswater and becomes the link between the boys and the forest; he painfully learns how to communicate with this sentient entity and he reshapes his future by choosing another tarot card at the table; he becomes the magician, he comes up with the plan to blackmail greenmantle, he finds out how to wake the animals in the valley of skeletons, which later allows blue fo find her mother; he learns to scry to help ronan with his dreams; he’s the one suggesting to ask cabeswater to sacrifice itself for gansey and he��s pivotal in the process or reviving him teaching cabeswater about humanity. person driving the plot? check. he also undergoes a lot of personal change. he frees himself from his abusive household environment, he cuts ties with his family and goes on to live alone and support himself financially; he grows so much as a person, learning to count more on his friends, to let go of his pride, to control his anger, even when he has every right to be angry, and to not vent it out on others, to let himself feel things. so, character who undergoes personal growth? check. but he admittedly isn’t the focus of the overall story, the role is still gansey’s.
a similar argument could be made for ronan. he is the dreamer, he manifests cabeswater, he’s a main driving force of the entire story. as with adam, he changes a lot from the beginning to the end of the books: he starts out by being this ever-angry boy, all sharpness and edges because he’s grieving and traumatised but slowly begins to heal, to find some kind of closure with his father; to free himself from his self-hatred, to accept himself the way he his; he learns to control his dreams and to free himself from kavinsky’s toxic influence; he becomes a better friend to blue and lets himself love his crush, he loses his mother in a horrifying way but he’s there again for his friend shortly after; he becomes a parental figure for opal. so we find ourselves again in front of a character who carries the story forward and has a notable self-growth throughout it. at this point, one could be tempted to say he’s the true protagonist because there’s a novel in the series entirely devoted to him, but it’s exactly his role in tdt that makes me reject this idea. he’s a fundamental part of a piece of the story, a link between the beginning and the later portions of it, the effective protagonist of tdt; but tdt feels too much like a kind of stand-alone book inside the series, and yet again, the rest of the story doesn’t revolve around ronan, though he is, as much as adam, an impossibly central character in a book with four main characters.
blue is, instead, clearly the decoy protagonist: the premise and the first chapters of the series make it look like she’ll be the only main character and the hero of her own story, but going forward she kind of fades into the background, to tumble out of it in bllb, to go back there in trk. she has too few relevant moments by herself, and most of them are concentrated in the first half of trb and the ending chapters of bllb, to be considered a fitting candidate for protagonist role. and as with gansey, she just doesn’t grow that much as the story goes on. which, if you ask me, is a pity because not only she was a very interesting character, she also was the only female character in the main ensemble cast. but, alas, we had to see her fulfill her destiny and kill and one true love with a kiss. me was hoping for a plot twist at the end, but of course that wasn’t my destiny as a reader.
so, to sum things up, this is how i view things: gansey is the de facto protagonist of the story, because he’s the clear focal point of it. but remember point three in the main character definitions? i’d say adam and ronan are the most central characters in the novels, those whose internal conflicts determine how the external conflicts are resolved. and they’re both gansey’s contenders as protagonists. although, i also think that ronan feels comfortable in a defiled position and is quite happy to follow gansey in most occasions, whereas adam openly challenges gansey’s leadership and decisions, and makes his own accordingly. so i get where mr. gray takes his idea of “adam and his band of merry men” and it makes perfect sense to me that he would think that way for what had been his involvement in the story. and i have to say, my heart thoroughly agrees with mr. gray. just this once.
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Ermanda’s Inner Sanctum: Scorpion 4.09 “It’s Raining Men (of War)”
Happy Thanksgiving to my US peeps!  Yet, let us not forget the Natives who view this holiday very differently!  Anyways, this episode was awesome!  We learned about a pivotal moment that shaped Cabe’s life.  Robert Patrick and Eddie Kaye Thomas’ acting was superb!  I have enjoyed Cabe and Toby’s time together in this arc.  I also liked the mission because it talked about NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration), garbage patches in the oceans, and techniques implemented to remove them.  It tied well with Scorpion’s plight to book jobs where their inventions and solutions can be used long-term and fix their financial deficit.  I applaud the art department for the look of the trash mound and the VFX team for the aerial view of it in proximity to the team’s rented boat! 👏🏾👏🏾  I have some interesting topics for this review, so let’s get started!  
Learning More about Florence Tipton
The writers are making a very quaint distinction with Florence Tipton.  She is a chemist, but she is not a genius.  She can relate, but she is not exactly like the members of Team Scorpion.  However, her personality is very similar to Mr. 197, which is why Toby makes that pot & kettle pun in response to Walter’s description of her.  During the mission, we learn what motivates her independent work.  She’s trying to redeem herself from failure and rejection.  She is so eager to prove herself once again that she doesn’t take kindly to distractions of any kind.  It is also why she presents her binding agent to the team when it hasn’t been properly vetted for practical efficiency.  It is commonly said that pride comes before a fall and Florence falls HARD when she projects onto Paige.  But Paige, acting as the skilled communicator she is, finds a way to get through to Florence in the same way she does for her geniuses!  She has exposed an emotional opening that I think will become significant in upcoming episodes!  
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Papa Cabe 
“I’ve realized recently that I’ve been messing a bit with my memories… been rewriting them over the years. I’m not gonna do that anymore. It’s okay ‘cause I got a great girl and I’ve got great friends. No matter what the future holds for me, I want to remember this moment right now exactly as it is. ‘Cause to have you all in my life… I am truly thankful.”
Cabe’s speech is so touching because of the truth it possesses and what it represents!  This process has been hard for Cabe because he feels like he is failing himself and Scorpion in the same way he feels he failed his father.  He completely constructs a new memory in order to cover his shame over his father’s death.  It explains a lot more about why he is who he is.  This is why it’s no surprise he fears old age as we saw in 3.17 Dirty Seeds, Done Dirt Cheap.  His whole life is his way of subconsciously overcompensating for his perceived lack of bravery and a means to honor his father’s legacy as a lawman.  The idea that his humanity while on the job could land him in prison and strip this identity is really hard for him to fathom.  He is convinced that a hardened exterior keeps him objective for the purposes of his job.  The most important thing he needs is support from his loved ones.  The support he receives from his children and Allie give him the strength he needs to endure this legal battle.  I truly appreciate this reality expressed on screen in this manner!  
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Walter’s Legacy: The Influence of Ralph, Happy Quinn, and Baby Quintis
Walter may not have considered fatherhood in the past, but he has always taken great pride in the development of young minds and making his mark for the next generation of geniuses.  We see this when he meets Ralph for the first time in the pilot and recognizes his genius.  This reality becomes more apparent in his interactions with Ralph throughout season 1.  He acts as a father figure and mentor to Ralph, sometimes overstepping his boundaries out of passion over Ralph’s potential (1.21 Cliffhanger).  
Walter: Do you see what you're sacrificing by leaving, by taking Ralph away from us? Paige: I have to think of his safety. W: Earlier today, you invoked the greater good so that I would team up with Cabe. But do you just throw that term around? P: My son nearly died because he wants to be you. W: Is it so awful being me? Being around me? P: I just don't want him to become you! W: What is your solution? Keep him in a cocoon? Have him watch you move to Maine to follow some guy who's already abandoned you? That's idiotic! P: That guy is his father, Walter. You are not. I... I have to go. Good-bye, guys.
He encourages Ralph’s academic pursuits and respects his intelligence, reminding him to never diminish himself for the sake of others (2.22 Hard Knox).  
Walter: I couldn't understand the details in your incredibly complex code. I used to think that I-I had the fourth highest IQ in the world, but now I realized that you have dropped me down to number five. Ralph: That's what got you upset? W: (laughing) No. No, what upset me is that you were willing to slow down for me to-to let me go down the wrong road, when that would've hindered you, because I couldn't grasp your work. Never hobble your intelligence for anyone... because if you do that in this garage, imagine what you'll have to do out there... for humans. The world needs to catch up to you... because if-if it can, just a little, imagine what a... a beautiful place it could be.
However, Ralph is not the only person in this series used as a means to future possibilities.  Happy Quinn's individual growth and her relationship with Toby repeatedly serve as examples of life goals Walter can achieve.  Happy Quinn is his closest friend.  He trusts and admires her and has a lot of respect for her intelligence and abilities (3.05 Plight at the Museum).  Plus, they are alike in many ways.  
Walter: I know Toby believes that I only think about myself, but I will do what is necessary to protect your family. Even if that means that I have to go back home to Ireland. Happy: You are home. We're not losing you, and we're not breaking up Scorpion. We'll do whatever it takes. You talk nonsense like that again, I'll punch you in the neck. W: Toby's a fortunate guy. You know, I know ours isn't a real marriage, but since the day I met you, you've been a faithful friend, you've come through for me when I needed it, you've helped me build Scorpion from nothing. That's loyalty, selflessness, collaboration. If those are the traits that one looks for in a spouse, then you've been a... You've been a great wife. Thank you.
At first, he rejected the notion of romantic love.  He had a no-fraternization rule for his employees because he thought romance would make his employees less efficient and possibly as a means to conceal his own fraudulent green card marriage to Happy.  Now he believes he is capable and worthy of love and seeks to understand it in his own way.  He roots for Melvester, Quintis, Callie, and Ralph x Patty!  He never thought he would have children because he didn’t think he would be a great father.  But Happy’s evolution, Quintis’ parenthood quest, and his own familial bond with Paige and Ralph are slowly convincing him that he can succeed in these pursuits as well.  
W: But you and Toby… I hired you. You would’t know each other if it wasn’t for me. So if you had a child, if would just be something I take a lot of pride in. H: Fine, you’ve touched my heart. Walter is on the list. Just don’t tell Toby.
I think it is by design that Toby (seasons 1 & 2), Happy (season 2), and Ralph (season 3) are the three people so far who have encountered Walter just before he makes MAJOR moves in his personal life.  He may be egotistical, but he strongly desires to leave a mark on the next generation in the hopes that the hub he created for his team will continue to flourish in his absence.  This is why he is so eager to be an important figure in Baby Quintis’ life.  He brought Toby and Happy together by hiring them, which planted the seed.  He wants a little credit, which is not surprising for a man who focuses on research, not athletics. 😂  If not by name, then maybe he could be a godparent.  Yet, I have a feeling choosing godparents will turn into a competition like the one for Quintis’ Best Man & Maid of Honor!  We all know how that turned out!  #dejavu 😉😂😂😂😂😂  
It’s Official! Toby & Amy Reunite! 😱 
I don’t usually address spoilers in my reviews, but this one is EPIC!  As you’ve likely heard by now, Toby’s ex-fiancee, Amy Berkstead, wife of his nemesis, Quincy, will be introduced on screen in episode 4.13 Apocalypse Nerd, which premieres after winter break (premiere date unknown right now)!  The actress, Shantel VanSanten, is slated to recur this season.  Given the current arcs, her occupation as a geneticist doesn’t seem like a coincidence!  This news is very exciting because we are finally meeting a character who has been mentioned in the series and has a history with a member of the team.  It’s logical to assume that she knows Toby in ways Happy and the others do not.  Although it might not always seems as such, Toby hasn’t talked extensively about his past, except for the few quips here and there about his parents and gambling experiences.  (Here’s looking at you, writers! 👀)  Therefore, this development opens possibility to get more Toby backstory the fandom has craved for a while through Amy.  The Baby Quintis storyline also gets interesting in the wake of this news.  If Happy isn’t pregnant before Amy’s arrival, then the events of this episode in relation to this arc will provide more clues to the eventual direction of Baby Quintis’ introduction to the series (biology or foster; end of S4 or during S5).  Is it possible that Toby, Happy, or both of them reach out to Amy for fertility and conception guidance?  As a geneticist, she can provide a unique perspective on fertility even if that is not her specific scope of practice.  All I know is things just became interesting!!!  So excited!  
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Drabbles…
Toby smells a fish! He knows there’s more to Cabe’s story! Time for experimentation!
I love that Paige and Happy went grocery shopping together and discussed baby things! This is what I want for my ladies at this point in the series! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Really Walter? Walina? The looks from Happy and Paige… 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀
I know the fandom has really advocated for a girl named Grace after Happy’s mother given all the promptings surrounding that theory for Baby Quintis. But what significant names would you choose if Baby Quintis is a boy? My first thought is Marcus after the middle name Toby wished he had instead of Meriwether. 👶🍼
Chair of Blades… have I heard this before?! 😉😉😂😂😂
A fish-based protein shake inspired by Walter’s brain food regimen? Sounds like 2.23 Chernobyl Intentions all over again! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wardrobe mention: What is up with Paige and these blue blouses?! Still wondering if this connects to something significant. It’s a nice color on her! This is why I keep throwing blue hearts on all my Waige mentions. 💙💙💙 Hehehehe!
Ralph was trying to prevent a problem and only created a bigger one! Oh pobrecito! Florence wasn’t having it! Insert Mama Paige!
Walter comes to Paige’s defense on her parenting skills! 😍💙🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Florence and Walter are having an ego-filled IQ scuffle! Something about this exchange feels like deja vu. Maybe Toby has something to say… W (to Paige about Florence): She’s arrogant… and condescending. T: Hi pot! I see you’ve met kettle. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀 #likeforeal
The formula on the board is nice, but I am shocked at how neat it is on that board. Who wrote it down? It had to be Paige! 😂😂😂
Happy with the launch gun… 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
S: I’m having a little bit of trouble dropping the anchor. H: Have you tried a high fiber diet? W: That kind of humor is Toby’s influence. (Happy smiles) S: Guys, seriously, I’m jammed up! H: I’ll let that one lie. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀 Happy Quinn, wife of Toby Curtis, everyone! This is the content for which I live!  More Quintis playing with their little brother, Sly! 
H: Since when does Toby force my hand on anything? W: He got you to marry him. H: Touché. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀
W: I’m just saying that history has had its share of exemplary Walters. F: Milwaukee North Side Strangler, Walter Ellis; Sir Walter Raleigh, founder of the doomed colony of Roanoke; and, of course, Walter Mondale. W: What wrong with Mondale? F: He lost 49 out of 50 states. (looks to Happy) So if you want your kid to grow up to be a loser, that’s your choice. W: Just spread your worms. F: Heh, my buckets are empty. H (smirking): Yeah, me too. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀 Anyone else think that “spread your worms” sounds like a funny innuendo? 😉😂😂😂
Sly and the harpoon gun… 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
W: I focus my time on research, not athletics. F: (looks Walter up and down) Yes. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Looks like Florence’s focus on Tae Bo is helping her out today, Walter, while you’re stuck to figure things out on a quickly disintegrating island of trash! 👀😂😂😂
I was thinking about what Toby would’ve said if he was there or listening via comms the whole time Happy climbed across that rope. You know he would say SOMETHING about the possibility of Happy being a goner if she entered that water with the jellyfishes!
S: We have extra plastic balls from when we launched the binding agent. We can fill them with my protein shake. H: Paige, I will talk you through modifying the launcher so it can properly toss Sly’s lunch. F: Really? Could you people be any less mature? P: …we could be infinitely less mature. Happy could’ve easily said it was time to launch Sly’s balls, but she didn’t. S (to Florence): Hmph! Me: Tell her Paige!!! 👊🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It’s so funny how Walter automatically listens to Happy just like Toby does with her. And yet, he doesn’t know how Toby does it. Um, hello pot! Meet kettle! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀
PAIGE LAID THE SMACKDOWN ON FLORENCE!!! FLO TRIED IT, BUT PAIGE SAID, “NOT TODAY, SWEETIE!” Paige is great at her job! She’s working well with Florence.
Anyone else see that smile from Florence when Paige accepted her apology? I think we have found an emotional point of entry! 😉
Florence might have failed with her binding agent, but she came through with the sealant!
Well, well, well, 👀 who decides to save Florence and acknowledges her future scientific contributions are a part of the greater good! We see you, Walter! Someone has developed a sense of respect in the midst of a small moment of redemption. 😱👀😉😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
How many zippos has Happy surrendered at this point in the series?! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
W: Oh Happy, if I ignite, will you tell Baby Walina I was a hero? H: That’s never gonna happen. W: What? Me igniting or you naming the baby after me? H: Don’t make me choose. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀
Jadyn Wong is so flippin’ gorgeous!!! That shot of her taking off that apron with her hair tossed to the side… 😍😍😍😍 I’ve got a girl crush!
Y’all… neither Toby and Happy really cook for themselves. So what are they gonna do when they have kids?! That will change real quick when the food bills for that kid start racking up! 👀😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It’s so funny how the team has decided to say “Flo” instead of “Florence” and Florence keeps correcting them each time! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
T: Cabe, you did not fail your father. And you’re not failing us. You’ve taken care of us for a long time. Now it’s time to let us take care of you. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I sense this will come back again later down the road… 🤔😉
I get really giddy when I see Allie with Cabe! CALLIE!!!!!!! *insert fangirl scream* ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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