#sometimes i think about how my grandma had 5 siblings in new york but her family literally disowned her and

[cammie]

maybe the extreme isolation of the characters in my writing is a reflection of the isolation and loneliness and alienation and lack of friends/family that i feel in my own life. who’s to say really

[b00bconnoisseur]

60 questions for @not-my-brain

1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn

Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)

2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too

3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*

4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)

7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol

9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)

12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away

13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much

15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that

17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year

19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)

21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)

22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get

23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die

24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi

25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many

26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*

27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters

28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee

29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet

30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD

31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls

33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT

34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new

35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving

37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)

38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny

39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football

40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert

41. relationship status.....single as a pringle

42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen

43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE

44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol

45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)

46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"

47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl

48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate

49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas

50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way

51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii

52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina

53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^

54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying

55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more

56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines

57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes

58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti

59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it

60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good

[butchbobbyhill]

I HATE MICHIGAN BUT I GUESS ILL STAY HERE

I’ve been adhd glued to the couch for hours I’m gonna take Ruby for a walk!

My mental illness claws itself out of the gutters we keep going and surviving. I did watch good documentaries. One was Transformer, a doc about Janae Kroc, a transwoman from ypsi Michigan, who was a professional body builder. I can’t believe I’m living in a time where I can see someone from Michigan transition.

I’ve met so many trans people in Detroit and literally all of my former friend group in high school ended up trans. Like we are really out here and it’s amazing to see. But also I hate lichigan and want to leave, but fear I’ll keep running from *small town/state fear of becoming nothing* and lose out on great community bc I always dreamt of the real world being in LA or New York New York New York. And I feel the farther a that ppl get from my hometown that I hate talking about being from thinking of is chicago and I would even settle for there bc I LOVE chicago even tho I am totally falling out of love with cities as a concept. Like yes I love living in the city, I’m living my dream, I wish it wasn’t COVID so I can go wild and not deal with my debilitating self isolation suicidal ideation. But I’m living with my dog! I’m on T! I actually have a relationship with my mom and aunt and older sister while transitioning! I haven’t talked to my younger sisters explicitly about it (I’ve been like “im a they them. Im a brother) or my grandma about it and those are the people I’m the most nervous about. Im really thinking about telling my grandma around Christmas tho. Because I want an authentic relationship with her. I think she will yell or say something about being disappointed in me. Im afraid she will think I’m a pervert. She is from El Salvador, she is a catholic grandma even tho she’s dealt with like an immigrant grandmas worst nightmare: teen pregnancy, another child who was like a literal punk party kid, and then raising two grand children who were just Sad Kids. I know it will be hard for her to understand but I just can’t live without her love. I have always suppressed myself to be easy to raise because two women trying to raise two kids is so challenging. I always said I had two moms growing up because my grandmother raised me. I feel like a sibling to my mom sometimes. And I always wanted to do well to take care of them. I’m so afraid of losing her love because she’s said some terrible things to me. She slapped my mom when my mom told her she was pregnant as a teen. I think I’m gonna write a letter explaining transness. I’m gonna remind her of how much I love her and that all I want is for her to be proud of me. And then I’m gonna leave immediately and maybe just double mask it or triple mask it at the club but I physically need to go dancing. I might not go at all and dance alone at home but yeah after Christmas ill try to stay away for a bit to give hee time. I also need to stock up on t tho and actually get seen in Detroit. I will hopefully upgrade my car in 2022 bc that was the WORST impulse decision of 2021 when I had money. Im gonna work hard at massage and also get a chiro to fuck my back up right and then maybe I’ll get top surgery and bulk up and work out and not be the SCRUBBIEST of scrubs because all of these beautiful bois out here and I am just a bundle of mess. Idk glow up is coming love is coming and my grandma WILL get over it when I’m the prettiest boy alive.

Anyway I think I want to stay in this area for 5 years. As a home base. My sisters will be 12/13 when I leave ? (This is to say if I don’t get to go somewhere abroad hopefully during my academic career because what the actual fuck am I going to college for if not that) but like weather and global warming scare the fuck out of me so staying in Michigan is a good plan. Buying land in Michigan is a good plan. Building a trans commune in Michigan is a good plan. I just really really never wanted to stay in Michigan and I feel I’m trying to convince myself to stay. But reality is putting my dream here, the ability here, the opportunity here, and I should take it while I can. Hopefully travel is in my future later. Please. All I’ve ever wanted was to try and get far away from the places of pain. See the beautiful things others could see. Travel and roam freely. And I can barely get out of my body sometimes. I’ve spent so much of my childhood just in rooms or mental institutions just waiting and waiting and waiting. And now I feel like I’m waiting for acceptance, for a full transition that will never come, for apologies that will never come, for closure that will never come. For healing that will never come. For satisfaction that will never come. Resolution is not real, I’m learning. Everything is unending

So maybe I can just jump into the middle of being a hermit farmer in the state I was born in. I can claim one for myself and my friends and my family. I am unlearning the settler concepts of landownership and everything. My family is a history of migrants, and my fathers side is severed, so I’m learning from the Detroiters around me, and looking at severed and stolen ancestry. I’m trying to find connections and roots and look at what the land tells me. I’m trying to find my home.

Okay if you read this far I want to give you an energetic kiss, an e-kiss if you will. I hope healing is abound for us. We can build a better world. I’m trying to believe that I have a part in it.

[yuniesan]

Girl Meets Season 5 - Episode 17 – Girl Meets Abroad

Synopsis: What can you expect when you’re finishing high school? For Riley her entire world will turn upside down and picking up the pieces will bring her and her friends closer together.

[Previous Episodes]

A/N: Ducks under the table

Episode 17 – Girl Meets Abroad

Josh saw the paper and couldn’t feel anything but shock, he had applied the year before, this was before he and Maya started dating, it was on a whim. He had been pushing himself away from Maya at the time and was trying to give her the chance at having her life. Riley found out and told him he was being an idiot, but at the time he had applied for the program. It was only for a few months but it was supposed to give him the chance to find his footing in his life.

“Crap,” he said out loud, while staring at the acceptance letter. Two-month semester abroad, an intensive course study with little to no breaks, an escape from reality. The program was supposed to be held half in Europe and the other half at the NYU campus. Four classes in total, but how had he forgotten about the application at all.

Of course, the answer to all of his questions was Maya, she had made him forget about everything. They studied together, he sometimes sat in her room while she drew something and he read a book. Sometimes he would read to her while she painted, and although she would deny it to everyone in the world, he knew she liked it. He picked stories that he knew she would enjoy, they had gone through all kinds of novels throughout their relationship and it had been weird at first but after a while she would just lay down next to him on the floor as he read to her.

That’s why this was going to be the hardest decision he would have to make at the moment, because this relationship was still new. Their one-year anniversary was still a month away, and he would be in Europe the day it happened. He sighed as he sat on his bed in his dorm room. He had a single, which was rare as it was, but he had gotten lucky when they had given it to him, even though he rarely spent any time in the room. He worked at Topanga’s, he ate dinner with Maya and her parents, or at his brother’s house.

Not knowing what to do he leaves his room and starts walking towards the park, but he doesn’t stay there, he keeps going watching the lights of the city around him. It was home because he lived there, it was home because his family was near-by, it was home because he had found someone he loved there. He found himself in a park close to his brother’s place, it was almost dark but the park was still open to the public. He always found it weird that the parks were closed after a certain time, but he knew it was because it was New York and all kinds of things happened in the big city.

“You know you could just come upstairs,” Riley said sitting down next to him. Her foot encased in a boot from the skiing trip.

“Why are you out here?” he asked her looking pointedly at her foot.

“Well the snow is gone, and I just wanted to take a walk, the park is close so I wouldn’t have to go very far,” she said smiling at him. “What’s wrong?”

Josh sighed knowing that he couldn’t really keep anything from Riley, “Last year, before Maya and I started dating, during that awkward time before you forced us into admitting our feelings, I applied to this program, it’s competitive, but half of the year is spent in Europe, I think it’s Germany this time, anyway they accepted me.”

“That’s great Josh,” she said to him smiling. “You’re worried aren’t you, about how Maya would react.”

“Among other things,” he said looking at his niece with sadness in his heart. “Is it bad that I still want to go?”

“No, it’s not bad Josh, it’s something good and although I know Maya would be happy for you, she would also be sad. She does care about you very much.”

“I need to talk to her about it,” he said watching the streetlights turn on as the darkness slowly engulfed the street.

“She’ll freak out for like a minute,” Riley says watching kids run home as the lights turned on. “The question is do you think this would change your relationship?”

“Doubtful,” he sighed. “We’re stronger together but it’s still two months apart.”

“But it’s an opportunity you can’t pass up because it will be something that taints your relationship.”

“Why do I have a feeling that this isn’t just about me?”

“It’s not, but in the end, we both have decisions to make about the future, and if our relationships survive after all of that then maybe it will be something special.”

Josh looked at his niece’s face and realized that as much as she loved Lucas there was something under it all that held onto her insecurities. Before it was about whether they were good enough for one another, Maya was a part of that as well as the bullies she had to face the year before. Now it was their future. Riley held onto everything in regards to her own struggles until it all exploded, but when it came to everyone else she fought tooth and nail for them.

“I’m going to go talk to Maya, but Riley whatever you’re thinking stop,” he said looking at her as he got up. “Trust your heart.”

She smiled at him and nodded, “I will as long as you trust yours.”

“Promise.”

He walked her home and then made the short trip to Maya’s apartment. He knew that this was one of a million tests that he had to go through because of his relationship with Maya, if they survived one test they would be stronger together.

Maya was standing in her room thinking about what it would be like to lose her childhood home, if they moved what would it mean especially when she got into college. Or at least if she went to college, she was never sure if she could get into any school but with Riley on the case, not only for her but for all of them, Maya was a little more optimistic. She might never go to a big school like NYU but she had some kind of future ahead of her.

“Hey,” Shawn said as he walked into her room. “So I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sure,” she said before sitting on her bed, before patting the mattress for him to sit down next to her. “Talk away.”

Shawn always made her nervous, not in a weird way, just in the he’s now my father please don’t leave us kind of way. She didn’t want to lose her family.

“Well your mom and I’ve been looking at apartments big enough for all of us, but your grandma wants to move to Florida, she keeps saying that she’s retired and we should let her live a little.”

“Yeah well, she’s feisty, and I think she wants to live somewhere that won’t make her arthritis act up,” Maya loved her grandmother and knew that the old woman wanted to really run around causing hell in a warm place.

“Well, we’re letting her go, she’s going to use her social security to go live in Florida, and we’ll send her things if she needs them.”

“Does that mean we’re not moving?” Maya asked hopeful but Shawn looked at her and shook his head.

“We’re still moving, I don’t want you or your mom walking home so late and something were to happen because we live so far from her job. But we did find a place you’d approve of.”

Maya gave him a questioning look, “I don’t know I’m pretty picky.”

“Well it’s in the building next to Riley’s so I think it would be perfect,” he said smiling. “There’s an apartment there, it’s as big as the Matthew’s apartment and we can afford it so we signed the papers today… but if you don’t want to move there we’ll find somewhere else.”

She couldn’t help the smile on her face, she had dreamed of living in a place like Riley’s all of her life. “The baby gets the bay window,” she said automatically.

“Why?” Shawn said.

“Well I’m going to college soon but I want the baby to have a room like Riley’s.”

“What if we have a boy? Would it still be the same kind of place?”

“Please you know mom is going to have a girl,” she said smiling, they weren’t sure. “It doesn’t matter either way as long as they have a safe place.”

“That’s fine with me,” he said hugging her. “Okay, your mom and I are going to plan, and I’ll call when dinner’s ready.”

He left her to her own thoughts, which were only filled with happiness, her family was alright, they were going to grow. She had her friends, her life, and most of all she had Josh. She went back to thinking, not about this room but her new room, the baby’s room, how their furniture would fit in a bigger place. There was an image in her mind for the walls of the nursery, something adorable, because she wanted to leave a present for her sibling.

A knock on the door broke her thought process as the door swung open revealing Josh, standing tall in front of her.

“Hey Maya,” he said as he walked in and she knew automatically that something was on his mind because usually he just walked in and sat down without saying a word especially when she was drawing or painting.

“What’s wrong?” she asked automatically.

“We need to talk about something,” he said and she never realized how much she hated the words we need to talk before. That’s what people said before they broke up with their significant other. “It’s a good thing in a way,” he kept talking even though her mind was going through a million thoughts at once.

“If you’re going to break up with me just get it over with,” she said trying to be the strong fearless person she knew she was even though she could feel her heart breaking.

“Maya,” he said kneeling in front of her. “I’m not breaking up with you.”

“Then why do you want to talk,” she said as her traitorous voice broke.

“I have a school thing,” he started but stopped before he pulled her into a hug. “You have to listen to everything I have to say before you say anything.”

“Okay,” she said wiping a stray tear from her face.

“Okay,” he said before sitting on his feet and looking at her. “Before we started going out I applied to this prestigious program, it’s very competitive but it’s a good experience for a student. I found out this morning that I was accepted into the program.”

“Josh that’s great,” she said but he held up his hand.

“I’m not finished,” he said and she could see a flash of sadness in his eyes. “The program sends students overseas for the first two months of the semester.”

“Oh,” she said looking at him for the first time. He was leaving for two months, which meant he was going to miss their anniversary, his own birthday, which she had been planning a surprise party for. “You want to go,” she whispered.

“Yes,” he said. “We could write to each other every day, we can skype too.”

She thought about it for a moment, she wanted to scream about how unfair it was, but she also knew that he deserved the chance that he was being given.

“As long as you take me to prom,” she said knowing that she needed to let him go but it still hurt just a little bit to let go. “And we go on a trip to see my grandmother in Florida this summer.”

There were tears in his face as he nodded, “We can visit my parents too… are you really okay with this?”

“Not really, but I know that our relationship can only get stronger if we trust each other enough to let the other person do something they really want to do.”

“I trust you more than anything,” he said to her.

“You have to send me post cards every week,” she demanded. “One email a day with a picture of something interesting that you saw,” she tried to keep the tears back because Maya didn’t cry. “And we can skype twice a week.”

“That’s fine with me, but you have to send me updates on which schools you get accepted to,” he said smiling at her. “And pictures of anything you draw when I’m not here.”

“I want you to record a book for me,” she said taking his hand. “Just so it can feel like you’re here reading to me like you normally do.”

“Okay,” he said pulling her close to him. She could feel his heartbeat against her ear.

“Bring me back something they only sell wherever you’re going.”

“I will, and you should learn to make that banana bread from the bakery and send it to me,” he said breathing her in.

“Okay,” she said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

They stayed there holding onto each other until Shawn came in to tell her dinner was ready, Josh stayed for dinner explaining to Shawn what was happening. Shawn in turn gave him a guide book on Germany that he had, with tabs on all kinds of places Josh should check out.

He left two weeks later, Maya waving him off at the airport while Riley held her hand. Josh sent his first email the minute he landed, a picture of himself at the airport and the words I miss you already written on the image. The Hunter family moved into their new apartment the week after, and Maya sent Josh the sketch of what she wanted to paint in the nursery.

[rememberthattime]

Chapter 51. The Move III. Home

What a month. December 2019 started in Sydney, but in just four weeks, took me through New York (Chels was in Hawaii), Dallas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Seattle, and finally London.

Somehow this was our LEAST busy holiday over the past three years, but it flew by nonetheless.

The month began with an international move... obviously challenging, and further complicated by EY’s mobility team. Movers, cleaners, and interested Gumtree buyers cycled through the house, while Chelsay and I balanced enjoying our final days in Manly with UK visa applications.

Eventually our Aussie apartment was empty. Just four massive bags remained - they held our only belongings until our shipment arrives in London sometime in April. Those four bags would be heading in opposite directions for the next 10 days though: Chelsay’s followed her to Hawaii, while mine were heading to New York.

I’m extremely jealous of Chelsay’s trip to the North Shore. Not only did she get to hang with Sumner, Chris, Miles, and Orly, but she enjoyed a few post-Sydney surfs, Island vibes, and beautiful weather.

Meanwhile, I had intense work meetings in New York, which required staying an extra few days for the biggest presentation I’ve given to-date. I was at least able to stroll around Manhattan between meetings, with highlights including Gramercy Park, East Village, Greenwich Village, and snow in Times Square.

Our Christmas Break really began once Chelsay and I finally made it to Dallas, though we were only home for one day before embarking on a family road trip.

Chelsay and I have traveled to around 50 countries, yet there are so many places we haven’t explored in our own backyard, including the Deep South. With plenty of time in the US this December, we decided to take a short road trip through Louisiana and Mississippi with Jeff, Liv, Matt, and Emily.

Some highlights:

A foggy visit to Evergreen Plantation. Although the plantation was a primary filming site for fictional Django Unchained, its slave past was very real. Despite our tour guide’s best efforts to portray a “different narrative”, the slaves’ conditions were pretty clear... “Remember: snakes, gators, mosquitoes, yellow fever.”

Jambalaya, Beignets, and Hurricanes in New Orleans’ French Quarter, paired with our over-the-top Southern accents (“There’s been a muwduh!”)

Strolling Barataria Preserve, a swampy bayou coated in Spanish moss... but with zero bathrooms along the trail. What happened in the bayou stays in the bayou. 

Touring antebellum homes in charming Natchez, though the biggest highlight was Jeff trying to understand how their 1980′s occupants got cable. 

Friendly and entertaining strangers throughout the entire trip. Zippy the gas station attendant (“Energy drink, for the guy that’s gotta push the car”), our Uber driver Mahogany (“Reroute me”), the Mississippi McDonalds cashier (“Y’all wan’ dat wit pe-can sauce!?”), and a New Orleans man training his pet raccoon.

The road trip was great siblings trip - no doubt one that we’ll laugh about for a long time. But after covering Sydney, New York, Louisiana, and Mississippi in just two weeks, it was time to settle down for a bit.

Luckily we had almost a month to relax: 23 days before our one-way flight to London, split between Dallas and Seattle. I hardly worked and Chelsay was already well into sabbatical-mode, which meant we had zero responsibility while home... It was a return to childhood.

Some highlights:

These aren’t in any order, except for this first one: Matt’s quizzes. It’s become a Kern tradition that Matt puts together ~15 ten question quizzes. They’re all creative categories, with our annual favorite being “Synonym song title & band”. Matt’s past four annual quizzes were all excellent, but this Christmas’ installment, Kern Family Quizzes 5: The Moscow Incident, was by far the most impressive. It included an audio/visual component, and categories ranging from “Name this platinum song being played on recorder” and “Name the two actors’ whose faces I’ve merged into one”. Matt could make millions if he sold these games.

Speaking of games, the Kern’s and Wright’s combined to complete four escape rooms. Perfect 4/4. Grandma Helen calls them “Crazy rooms”, which is absolutely understandable after a T-Rex roared at us for 20 minutes in one of our Seattle escape rooms.

Continuing in the friendly competition category, the Kern’s love bocce... especially bocce with a wrinkle: wild bocc’ (aka free-range bocce). Most bocce is played in a walled rectangular arena. Not for the Kern’s though. We drive to the Trophy Club Park and set up our “course” through trees, along hills, across sidewalks, and between the small children panicking as we hurl 3 lb balls towards them. Like a windmill in putt-putt, these obstacles make the game more challenging, especially the scared children. Plus we all just like getting outside.

One last friendly competition: giant jenga at Jeff & Liv’s new house. Their “starter” home is so big that they have an entire room for giant jenga... and we needed the space. This genuinely could’ve been a Guinness record for longest game. For at least an hour -- every single turn -- we were sure the tower JUST HAD to fall.

The next four bullets are all cowboy related. Chelsay and I have been together for 10 years, and every time we go to Dallas, she insists on visiting a dude ranch. We’ve never had enough time... until this Christmas. Chelsay finally got her wish when we drove an hour outside Fort Worth to Beaumont Ranch. This day trip could’ve had its own post, but I’ll have to summarize in a few short stories.

First, the main event was a cattle drive on horseback. Our instructor, a true Texan cowgirl, led us into the 800-acre plains in search of rogue longhorns. Chelsay was the first to come across wayward cattle and, despite her metropolitan upbringing, instinctively started yelling in an extremely southern accent: “Go on, git! Heeyah!” Our Texan instructor had to be insulted.

Second story: Matt is very good at lassoing. I was not. This video pretty much tells the story.

Last story from our cowboy day. The ranch had its own replica western town, so Chelsay had the idea to make a “duel” video. We talked about the dialogue for under 10 seconds, but the result was pure gold. Oscar worthy (at least better than The Irishman). You might think that we added the music afterwards to sync with our actions... Nope, that was just my mom holding her phone close to Chelsay’s camera. That should at least be up for Best Sound Editing.

My parents, Chelsay, and I fell into a nightly routine of Dark from Netflix Germany. Phenomenal show, despite watching an English-dubbed version. We finished two seasons in under 10 days.

Obviously we hit all the favorite food spots, led by Feedstore, Mi Cocina, Anamias, Christinas, Costa Vida. We also added a new favorite: HG Supply and their tasty impossible whopper bowl with quinoa and chili. 

On the topic of food, I must have eaten 100 cookies while home. We had the traditional Kern Christmas cookie bake-off (A+ humor, but C+ presentation), but Chelsay also picked up a baking addiction. It was 11 pm and we’d all be heading to bed, but Chelsay was still laser focused and meticulously decorating her cookies. Her efforts showed though: A+ flavor, and A+++ presentation. 

Next up was our return to Seattle. On Chelsay and I’s first full day, we decided to go on a long hike. We actually didn’t hike much when lived in Seattle, which we now realize was dumb. I definitely took the Northwest’s landscape for granted — every time we visit, I’m blown away by the sky-scraping evergreens, fresh scent, crisp air, and looming mountain ranges that surround the city. Anyway, we’ve been trying to catch up on our hiking whenever we visit, and the closest trail to the Wright’s house is Mt. Si, a semi-challenging 8-mile hike. It’s the medium-well steak of hikes. Danny, Chelsay, and I endured a sweaty couple hours -- just to give you an idea of the hike’s height, the peak was snow-capped, but the views made the steep ascent worthwhile. 

On the same ‘missed PNW opportunities’ line: when I lived in Seattle, I ever took advantage of the many nearby mountain villages, especially the Bavarian-themed Leavenworth. Tucked in the Cascade Mountains, you would never believe Leavenworth is just two hours from bustling Pike Place. Gothic-lettered storefronts line the half-timbered town’s main street: Munchen Haus, the Sausage Garten, Ludwig’s, and Starbucks (it’s still America after all). Danny, June, Chelsay, and I enjoyed a quiet walk on Blackbird Island, threw snowballs for target practice, and warmed up with hot cider and big (BIG) game of Uno. We also built up our shaka inventory with our Leavenworth friends Alex & Charlie.

It's also worth mentioning that I went to a Hawks game with Hanan. It was a rivalry game and the stakes couldn't be higher: SEA vs SF. Sunday Night Football. Last game of the 2019 regular season, and the winner took the NFC West. The 49ers went up 16-0, but the Hawks stormed back and had the ball with a chance to win on the last play. Russell Wilson hit Jacob Hollister close to the goal line, but a 49er tackled him quickly. Hollister reached for the goal line as he fell, but came up an inch short of a game-winning touchdown. Even though the Hawks lost, it was still a great time.

Speaking of great times, we hosted New Year’s Eve at the Wright’s house in Woodinville. What an incredible night. Midnight seems to get later and later every year, but Chelsay and I stayed up until 3 am catching up with Devon & Babs, Martiin @ Michelle, and Austin & Kels. Danny, June, and Chels were such amazing hosts - I kept telling them my friends didn’t deserve their hospitality.

We may have been in the US for five weeks, but it felt like only five days. Although it fly by, these stories and pictures are proof that our time was well spent. 

And even though we were boarding a one-way flight to London for the next few years, there’s no question where our true home will always be. 

[farsfromhome]

Hi I was tagged in a lot of ask tags so I'm gonna do them all in one go! Thank you @spideypooly @underose @babyparker Name: Amanda 
Star sign: Pisces 
Height: 5'6
Average hours of sleep: 6-8 it depends
Lucky number: 8
Last thing I googled: lemme go check. Okay it was to get a hex code from an image for my mobile layout lmao.
Number of blankets I sleep with: just one
Favorite fictional characters: ok I have a lot. Peter Parker, Luke Skywalker, Finn, Kamala, & Katniss Everdeen
Favorite Novel: catching fire in the hunger games series 
What are you wearing right now?: pajama pants and an old American idol t shirt lmao 
When did I start this blog?: literally yesterday 
Amount of followers: 43 and I'm shook !
What do I post mostly?: tom holland & spider man stuff 
Most active follower?: I think you can find that out on the real site but I'm on mobile so idk tbh 
What made me get a tumblr?: I've actually had tumblr for years and I joined bc I'd always see posts from tumblr and wanted to join
Do I get a lot of asks?: nope haven't gotten one but it's all good lmao
Why did I get this URL?: it's supposed to be a play on homecoming but it's not amazing Alphabet Q&A Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better. A - Age: 18
B - Birthplace: New York
C - Current Time: 11:31 AM
D - Drink You Last Had: I think iced tea? Can't remember.
E - Easiest Person To Talk To: my best friends Abby and Katie but Abby's all the way in Australia so it's a lil difficult.
F - Favorite Song: hmmm I have so many but at the current moment it's touch by little mix.
G - Grossest Memory: a duck pooped on my favorite shoe when I was younger and I had to throw them out smh
H - Horror Yes or Horror No: No thx I don't like horror movies 
I - In Love?: Uhm not really but someday I guess.
J - Jealous of People?: uh yeah sometimes it depends lmao 
L - Love At First Sight Or Should I Walk By Again: Walk by again
M - Middle Name: Lynn 
N - Number of Siblings: one. I have an older brother.
O - One Wish: happiness tbh
P - Person You Called Last: It was my mom 
Q - Question You Are Always Asked: "are you excited to go to college?" Nope no thank u adulting????? Yikes.
R - Reason to Smile: my cat. She always makes me happy. 
S - Song You Sang Last: TT by Twice.
T - Time You Woke Up: 10:30 I think
U - Underwear Colour: black
V - Vacation Destination: Tokyo, Japan. I've always wanted to go there.
W - Worst Habit: biting my nails lol.
X - X-rays: I had one like two years ago on my knees 
Y - Your favourite food: Mac n cheese 
Z - Zodiac Sign: Pisces 85 Q n A’s!! Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people. 
Last 1. drink: iced tea 
2. phone call: my mother
3. text message: my gc with all my friends 
4. song you listened to: TT by Twice
5. time you cried: Last week I was so sick and felt like absolute shit 
6. dated someone twice: nope
7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope
8. been cheated on: nope
9. lost someone special: I've lost my grandma a few years ago f
10. been depressed: yes but not really my problem is my anxiety tbh 
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope 3 favourite colours 12. Pink 13. Blue 14: Purple in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes I dropped one really toxic friendship and gained a lot more friends.
16. fallen out of love: nope
17. laughed until you cried: I do this a lot but I honestly can't remember the last time I did that lmao
18. found out someone was talking about you: actually nope but I don't doubt that it happens. Listen, as long as I don't know it it's fine. 
19. met someone who changed you: yes but nothing bad. Just let me out of my shell more.
20. found out who your friends are: mhhhhmmm
21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope. Also not a big fan of Facebook. General: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i honestly can't even remember I never go on it.
23. do you have any pets: yes! I have two dogs and a cat. My dogs names are Emma & Daisy and my cats name is Meeko. 24. do you want to change your name: eh not really 
25. what did you do for your last birthday: went out to Cheesecake Factory with my friends. 26. what time did you wake up: 10:30 I think 
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: in my bed I'm tired lmao 
28. name something you can’t wait for: the next Star Wars movie omg
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 10 minutes ago 
31. what are you listening to right now: my family talk to themselves at the dinner table 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes 
33. something that is getting on your nerves: loud chewers I hate it i haaaate it 34. most visited website: Twitter tbh
35. hair colour: my hair is currently purple 36. long or short hair: it's long I'd say 37. do you have a crush on someone: I did before but not really anymore since schools ended lmao 38. what do you like about yourself: I really like my hair.
39. piercings: I have both my ears pierced and then I also have a nose ring.
40. blood type: I actually don't know. 
41. nickname: panda, mandy, uhmmmm anything you can think of that works I've probably been called.
42. relationship status: single rip
43. zodiac: Pisces 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: The office 46. tattoos: none!!! But I really want one sooo bad. I'm just scared of the pain. I've got exactly what I want all planned out tho.
47. right or left handed: right
48. surgery: I've had my wisdom teeth removed lmao 
50. sport: I don't play any but I enjoy watching hockey and swimming.
51. vacation: Tokyo! Specially Tokyo Disneyland. 
52. pair of trainers: I think this means shoes? My favorite pair of shoes I think? Well my converse. MORE GENERAL
53. eating: currently haven't eaten anything yet.
54. drinking: haven't had anything to drink yet today.
55. I’m about to: probably just chill out 
56. waiting for: my doctors appointment tomorrow so I can figure out what the heck my ear is doing.
58. get married: eventually 
59. career: i really don't know but I'm leaning more towards social working since thats what my major is leaning more towards but idk. WHICH IS BETTER:
60. hugs or kisses: tbh neither 
61. lips or eyes: eyes
62. shorter or taller: taller
63. older or younger: older
64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms 
65. hookup or relationship: a relationship 
66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant HAVE YOU EVER:
67. kissed a stranger: no
68. drank hard liquor: no
69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yup and it's super annoying 
70. turned someone down: yes I think 
71. sex on the first date: nope 
73. had your heart broken: yeah I think so 
74. been arrested: nope
75. cried when someone died: yeah
76. fallen for a friend: actually nope DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
77. yourself: it depends on the situation lmao
78. miracles: eh
79. love at first sight: not really 
80. santa claus: I used to 
81. kiss on the first date: I guess it depends on how good it is 
82. angels: Not really OTHER:
84. eye colour: brown 85. favourite movie: I have too many but my favorite of all time is cat in the hat I know it's really bad but it's a guilty pleasure. Okay I'm gonna tag random! Sorry if you've been tagged in one before. @starryeyesandblurredlies @trashholland @spideygwen @penlsparker @pcteparker

[fortheavengers]

I was tagged by @reddragonlilly7  thank you sooo much!!

RULES: Copy this into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours. When you are done, tag up to 10 people and also the person who tagged you. Have fun!

A) Age: 20

B) Biggest fears: Living my whole life without finding someone I’m in love with to spend it with. And dying I am so afraid of dying                                          

C) Current time: 2:31 pm

D) Last thing you had to drink: Hazelnut Coffee                                                                 

E) Every day starts with: Checking my phone and drinkin water                                               

F) Favourite song right now: 24K Magic by Bruno Mars

G) Gayest moment you ever had: I’m straight lol, I don’t think I’ve really had any moments. My friend and I held hands in Disney World sometimes for fun but I don’t really think that counts haha

H) Hometown: not gonna get super specific so I’ll just say I live in New York State                                          

I) In love with: Chris Wood! Also Grant Gustin, Chris Evans, Chris Pine...the list goes on and on 

J) Jealous of:   People who have their whole lives together. I want to be put together and move and everything and I don’t know how these people do it             

K) Killed someone: Never. But I’ve killed in my imagination lol               

L) Last time you cried:   Yesterday because my grandma put her cat down and I grew up with that cat so I was sooo sad                          

M) Middle name:  Marie                                                                                     

N) Number of siblings: 1 sister

O) One wish: To be able to move to California and find love

P) Person you last called/texted: My mom                 

Q) Question you’re always asked: Why are you dressed so nice do you have a presentation? (I wear dresses most days to class and people always ask why, I just want to feel pretty okay lol)   

I also get asked how tall I am because I’m really short (I’m 5′1″)                                                                                                    

R) Reason to smile: Sunshine, tv shows, pets, thinking about a great future, vacations, thinking about love                                                             

S) Song you last sang:  I think it was Sidekick from A Very Potter Senior Year                                                      

T) Time you woke up today:  8 am                     

W) Worst habit: Procrastination, using hand sanitizer all the time                                                    

X) X-rays you’ve had:  I think just my teeth                                                       

Y) Your favourite food: fruit like strawberries, raspberries and blueberries                                

Z) Zodiac sign: Libra

Thanks so much for tagging me! I’m tagging: @captainkaramel @sammyjo16 @kelbottumbles @emarasmoak @actualpuppychriswood @busysciencegeek @superkaramels