#sonofa

[that0nebaguette]

Never let them cook... (sniper! It's soo saadddd T-T Can someone help engie? )

[spaciebabie]

Get nuzzled lmao (first time I draw Springtrap and it's to fluster you lol)

i hope your pores get filled with cement

[babybluebex]

Is it Night at the Museum - Battle of the Smithsonian? It's Abe Lincoln lol

YES IT IS OH MY GOD YOU GOT IT THAT'S EXACTLY IT

THE SCENE WHERE LARRY AND AMELIA ARE AT THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL AND LINCOLN COMPLAINS ABOUT THE PIGEONS

HOLY SHIT THANK YOU

[imaginesbymk]

Not me deleting 7k words of a WIP bc I'm stupid </3 I will never recover from this

NOOOOOO????????? ????!!!!

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

panic at the disco live in denver my beloved

[henchthem]

I get why ppl like columbo.

[pintsofguinnesmakeyoustrong]

NPMD best line deliveries

oh shit! oh fuck!! i didnt think thered be a skele'uhn here ?!? im so fucking scared of skele'uhnz!!!

dont frighten him pokey you nasssssty boy

were going to jail...and with my luck no one will even B O T H E R making me their bitch...

🐦 heyus the thing about a bãrbĕqüe...it brings folks together...from awl wawlks of laife...theyres a storhé behand everyh burrghurr...everyh kehbahhb...

but I...called God a sonofa B word...who am iaieEUGHAHuhuuuh...

[faggotstump]

8legh

[heartfullofleeches]

Miller [Streamer Yan] and Sleepyhead Reader- If you think about it, streaming would be the perfect career for them -> that being Reader. Flexible hours, they hardly have to leave home. Hell, they could probably generate a following just putting a camera next to their bed. Reader doesn't really have to worry regardless since Miller is ready and willing to care for and support them. They'd dote on Reader as if their life depended on them and do everything in their power to make sure Reader got the well rest they deserved.

[Side note: Miller uses they/them pronouns only. I've had a concerning amount of people in tags/asks use he for them which makes me less willing to use them despite how much I love them.]

-

[Miller groans as a game over screen flashes on their monitor]

Miller: Sonofa- Wait-

[Miller stands from their chair, place a pair of canceling headphones on reader's ears as they slumber peacefully in bed. They return to their seat - slamming a fist on the table.]

Miller: Son of a bitch!

-

[Miller and Streamer Reader play a fighting game together- Reader staring to dose off as a cutscene plays. Miller switches their controllers as the round starts, switching them back as they shake Reader awake.]

Miller: Babe. Look, babe- You won!

Sleepyhead Reader: mmmm..... I did?....

Miller: Yea! You really kicked my ass there. You'll have to teach me a thing or two sometime.

Sleepyhead Reader: Wow.....

[As Reader celebrates their victory Miller quickly types a message into chat]

Miller: Whoever snitches is getting instabanned plus I'm slashing your tires.

-

Miller, shaking Reader gently: Psst- Wake up for a sec, something came in the mail for you.

[Sleepy Reader sits up in bed - Miller holding up a hoodie with koala ears stitched on the hood as Reader rubs the sleep from their eyes]

Miller: One of our viewers sent me the link. Whatcha think? It's cute, right? Go on- Try it on!

Sleepy Reader, wearing the hoodie: Soft.....[starts to doze off again.]

Miller, catching them before they fall over - hugging Reader to their chest: I knew you'd love it <3

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

"I can't leave ya alone for one minute, can I?" Daryl said, stopping the doorway and looking in at you.

"Who? Me?" you asked, playing dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about!" you laughed. You leaned down and ruffled Dog's thick fur. He was laying across the bottom of the bed, his head resting between his paws, his ears on alert.

"Ya know he ain't allowed on the bed. He's filthy and he stinks," Daryl drawled, coming into the room.

"Sometimes so do you," you teased him. "And I still let you in the bed."

Daryl shot you a look, but couldn't fully suppress his amusement, especially with the grin that was plastered on your face. It was impossible to be sour when you were grinning at him like that. "Dog, get down," he said, his tone demanding. Dog didn't move. "Dog! Off! C'mon!"

The Malinois raised his head, but only blinked at Daryl.

"Sonofa—Dog! I said get down!"

You giggled and leaned forward to pet his soft ears and scratch under his chin. "I don't know what you expected. You're the one who trained him to protect me. He's just doing his job and keeping guard," you cooed, fussing over the good boy.

"Yeah, well he can do his job from the floor," Daryl growled. "C'mon," he said, seizing Dog by the collar and giving him the encouragement he needed to finally get onto the floor with a gentle tug.

Dog whined, but circled a few times and laid down on the rug.

Daryl shook his head, but the corners of his eyes were crinkled in a smile. "He's damn near as stubborn as you," he said, shooting you a look.

You flopped back on your pillow and adjusted the blankets. "I think you're just jealous that you have to share my attention with him," you joked.

"Am I that transparent?" Daryl laughed, climbing into bed beside you. "Damn," he said softly, leaning over you and caging you beneath his body. "Ya figured it out..."

You stared up at him, wide-eyed, your whole body suddenly bursting with tingles. "Well, you've got me all to yourself now..."

Daryl brushed his fingers tenderly through your hair, giving you a heated look. "Damn right."

Prompt: "I can't leave you alone for one minute, can I?"

[gospelofme]

Meanwhile…on the Marauder

Crosshair: that’s my chair!

Hunter: not anymore, not after you left us for the Empire.

-Hunter and Crosshair start fighting-

Echo: HEY! I swear to FUCK don’t make me come back there and beat your asses!!

Crosshair: he’d do it too…

Hunter: yeah, I still have a boot print from last time. It’s faint but it’s still there, see!

Crosshair: oh damn, so it is. Anyways, out of my chair.

Hunter: I told you! It’s not yours anymore!

Crosshair attempts to haul Hunter out of the chair.

Echo: -whips his head around so fast and gives both of them The Look-

Hunter: fine, take the chair. It’s stupid anyways.

Crosshair: just like you.

Hunter: sonofa-

The fight resumes

Echo: -sighs, removes boot-

[msgexymunson]

Just imagine Eddie coming out of your bathroom, freshly showered, wrapped up in a robe, swinging around the end of the belt, ready to give you the sexy striptease of your dreams.

Except for when he connects his phone to the speaker, it doesn’t play the song he thought he had queued up—it starts blasting Baby Shark.

At full volume.

“Sonofa—”

It’s so loud it scares him, making him throw his phone. And you’re just dying laughing on the bed, clutching at your stomach as it rolls out of you, tears spilling down your cheeks as he tries to shut if off but somehow only makes it play louder.

Finally, he shuts it off, but his cheeks are scarlet and his eyes downcast as you shuffle to the end of the bed and reach out for him.

“It’s okay,” you hum softly, “If anyone could make that song sexy, it’s you.”

(hope you feel better soon, bub ily)

OK so this is absolutely everything!! I couldn't help myself. Thank you so much for the well wishes, love you babe ❤️

Warnings: modern AU, NSFW, Minors DNI, established relationship, allusions to p in v sex.

Masterlist

The first time it's a mistake. A hilarious one, but still a mistake. The first time leads to silly sex; all giggles and firm kisses and jokes and mock threats.. and soft touches.

And then grasping hands, and needy fingers, and moans.

The second time, it's a prank. You've just come out of the shower, all pink and clean, in your robe and towel, swaying into the bedroom.

"Oh, am I getting a little show?" Eddie's eyebrows raise, as he settles into the pillows, shit eating grin smeared on his face.

"Maybe... shall I set the mood?" You ask suggestively, flashing a bit of leg.

"Woah, a proper show? Go ahead, princess."

His hands reach behind his head, laying back like a king in his marital bed. You playfully smirk and turn on your little speaker, hearing the tell tale blip of the Bluetooth connecting. Slipping your hand in your pocket, you take out your cellphone, and press play.

"Baby shark do do-"

"Oh you goddamn evil-"

You laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more. Eddie's frowning, arms crossed firmly against his chest, neck and cheeks scarlet from the embarrassing memory.

The music is still playing, so you giggle and seductively drop your robe, fingers toying with the top of your towel.

"Come on baby, I thought you were into this."

He huffs, clearly torn between being angry at you and getting an eyeful. All resolve disintegrates when you drop the towel, running gentle hands over the top of your breasts. His eyes bug out when one hand drifts lower, toying with the tuft of hair on your mound.

"Stop it, I can't be mad when you-"

"When I what?" You ask, smirking, and start crawling toward him over the mattress, silky hands running up his shins, up his tensing thighs. Fingers snake under his boxers, teasing at the skin just shy of where he needs you. Tensing muscles, he grabs your hand before you can go further.

"Fine, you're forgiven just- fuck- turn that song off."

The third time, it was an in joke. Oven mitts on, you check on the casserole you've made, humming to yourself. Another 20 minutes you think, give or take.

Large hands grasp at your hips from behind, pulling your top up slightly to massage at your skin.

"You asking for it? That why you're humming that?"

"Huh?" You ask, entirely confused, trying to look at him over your shoulder.

"You were humming 'baby shark', thought you might want some lovin," Eddie breathes into your neck.

Laughing, you turn to face him.

"Was I? And whats that supposed to mean, exactly?"

"Yep," he replies, knuckles dragging over your cheek, "thought that was our song. You want Daddy Shark to take care of you?"

Rolling your eyes, you bat at his chest in a vain attempt to push him away. "Our song? Fuck I hope we don't have to play it at our wedding."

He chuckles, dropping to his knees, busy fingers expertly undoing your jeans.

"Wedding? I'm just hoping you don't play it in the bedroom again."

All rational thought exits the building however, when he begins rubbing you just right.

"No, no, whatever you want, just keep doing that," you beg, hand winding into his soft locks to keep him there.

After that, you're not sure what it was. There was humor in it, sure, a hint of a past silly mistake, but it had warped over time. Now, it seemed like a hint, a wink, a promise of something to come.

It surfaced again at a gathering; the little gang were holed up at Steve's, watching some shitty rom com that had been voted as tonight's watch. Restlessly, you tap your fingers on your thighs, wound up to the point of breaking.

"Eddie," you whisper, chest swelling with need.

"Hmm?" He asks back, oblivious to your desires.

Opening your mouth to say something, you shut it, until the idea pops in your head and out of your mouth. Leaning in, your breath skates his ear.

"Baby shark, do do do do do do-"

"Oh, we need to go." Eddie calls out loudly to the troop, met with groans and head shakes from everyone.

"Seriously? Why?" Steve asks.

"It's an emergency, sorry guys."

He's on his feet, dragging you to the door. When you're halfway to his van, he whisper shouts at you. "That's a kids song. A kids song. It shouldn't make me halfway hard."

Laughing loudly, you snake your hand around his tight waist.

"Sorry baby, I needed my Daddy Shark."

Tag list

@liminalpebble @eddies-puppet @rip-quizilla @micheledawn1975 @vanilla-demon @millercontracting @roanniom @josephquinnsfreckles @leelei1980 @mrsjellymunson @usedtobecooler @eddiesprincess86 @ali-r3n

[imaginesbymk]

I was going to name my betta fish Gerard Way but my family laughed so his name is now Murdock Gerard Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way or, Murdock for short :)))))))))

OMG???????

[sailor-aviator]

Dad Jake when he finds out his oldest daughter eloped with Rooster's son.

Oh my god, STOP 😩 A follow up to this.

Warnings: None

"I'm gonna kill'em."

You rolled your eyes as your husband paced back and forth in the living room.

"You are being entirely too calm about this whole situation," he scowled, pausing just long enough to point an accusatory finger at you. You shrugged your shoulders, letting out a heavy sigh.

"What's done is done. It's not like we can change it now."

"Darlin'," he grounded out. "She ran off and got married."

"I'm well aware, Jake," you gritted. "But, again, there's nothing we can do about it now."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

You heard the sound of a car pull into the driveway, and you fixed your husband with a glare. "Well, you don't. Now play nice, or so help me Seresin, you won't like what I'm going to do."

Jake held his hands up in surrender as you heard the front door open. Moments later, your daughter walks into the living room with a nervous look on his face, pulling a handsome man behind her. He looked just like his father.

"Mama, Daddy," your daughter began.

"You got married?" Jake all but shrieked, cutting your daughter off. "Are you pregnant?"

"What? No!" your daughter cried out, the young man behind her paling at the accusation. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, sweetheart, I can't think of any other reason as to why you would run off and get hitched with a Bradshaw," he snapped.

"Jake," you sighed as your daughter held back tears. You looked at the two before you. "Do you love each other?"

"Yes," your daughter choked out.

"More than anything," the young Bradshaw said, looking at your daughter adoringly. You nodded.

"Then that's that."

Jake spluttered, face turning red. "You can't be serious?"

"Honey, your blood pressure," you began, but Jake ignored you, turning back to look at the younger man. "How does your father feel about all of this?"

The young man rubbed the back of his neck nervously, seeming to choose his next words carefully. "Said I could do a lot worse as far as Seresins go."

"That sonofa-"

"Jake."

[valiantlyfuriousearthquake]

What's this? Another Discworld book finished so soon?

I DEVOURED Nights Watch. It caught a grip on me that I really could not have seen it coming. One could expect, from the previous books of The Watch a similar story. A crime, a chase, some "politics"... And then. A storm comes in. And we are there.

The lilacs are blooming, the people are unhappy and there are talks. There's still a chase, of course, of a crazy sonofa. But while that looming threat covers the city of Ankh-Morpork, so does the people's fears.

Cogs move, the people are unhappy, it wasn't good times, freedom was practically non-existant, and in had to come John Keel to give order.

To be the sane man in a crazy world for those days.

To be there.

A revolution sparks from a feeling of hope. Of will to change, but when the powderkeg explodes, soon enough someone will rebuild the barrel, and back to business. And one will still have a boiled egg.

You just had to be there.

This book has sealed my love for the Watch.

[otteranha]

This fandom needs that ole’ ran-outside-in-a-towel-and-accidentally-locked-myself-out-naked trope. Like… freshman year for the Party, pre-Spring break. There's construction being done on the room they normally hold Hellfire and the school won't give them an alternative spot. Dustin, Lucas & Mike convince Steve to let them have Hellfire at his house. Steve isn’t thrilled but he agrees.

Eddie isn’t thrilled either and he shows up early that afternoon to set up and get any gloves-off cruelty between him and Steve out of the way before the kids get there. Only to find that no one is answering the door. What gives, right?- if Harrington set this whole thing up to leave them all out in the cold, man fuck that. He goes around the back of the house, over the fence into the yard and finds Steve—

Steve was about to take a shower when he noticed the hot water wasn’t working. Calling the repairman would mean he’d have to talk to his dad, and he really wanted the hot water now and to talk to his dad never, so he grabbed a towel real quick and checked the water heater in the basement. No problem there. So he just popped out to check the water heater in the pool shed, because maybe it’s not just the house. And he didn’t put clothes on first because he thought he’d only be out there for a second. Except the door swung shut. And locked. His mom moves the hide-a-key periodically for “security purposes” and he has no idea where the damn thing is this month.

Not to worry. Steve's been sneaking out of his house since he was a whippersnapper. He can just climb in his bedroom window. Except he's been home alone for almost a month and hasn't needed to leave his window unlocked since he can come and go as he please. In other news the roof is covered in wet leaves and is much slipperier than usual. Fortunately he doesn't fall that far, nothing hurt but his pride (ok, and his ass will probably be black and blue for a while). Unfortunately when he fell the towel got snagged on the drain pipe and is now stuck on the roof. He'll have to climb back up and get it, then try to find some way back inside before the kids get there. But he needs a second- ok? So he flops back on one of the pool chairs, an arm draped over his eyes, nursing his injured dignity while he regroups.

And that's the scene Eddie Munson stumbles upon. Steve Harrington, sprawled out in all his glory like the goddamn Barberini faun. So a second boy takes a tumble on the Harrington property that afternoon, as the sight causes Eddie to lose his grip and his focus, and instead of vaulting the gate he topples forward over it and face plants on the cement pool deck.

"Shit!" "Fuck!"

"Sonofa- !"

"Holy shit man!" And so forth in that manner as Steve squawks in shock and covers himself. Then it registers who exactly the trespasser is and he abandons modesty and leaps, outraged, to his feet.

Eddie finds that in the face-plant he has bitten a noticeable bit off the tip of his tongue. Now he's standing, staring at a nude Steve Harrington, drooling blood all over his patio. If there's a classical statue of an Adonis posed with hands on hips looking wildly annoyed Eddie doesn't know of it. Any witty remark he could make about late September not being an ideal time for sunbathing au naturale is obstructed by his poor, bitten tongue, so Eddie has to settle for mere communication as he tries to ask Steve what the actual fuck he's doing?

"Came out to check the water heater and the door blew shut," Steve says sheepishly.

"Tho ou theck the plumbinth naketh?" Eddie raises an eyebrow.

Steve points to the roof. "I tried to get in through my window and slipped. Towel's stuck on the roof." A look of panic flashes into his eyes, "Wait- if you're here- what time is it? Oh shit, are the kids on the way?"

Eddie shakes his head. "I came by eahly tho thet uth." He holds up one finger, gesturing Steve to wait, then plucks a safety pin from his vest and kneels to examine the patio door. It takes him only a few minutes to finagle it open and he turns sliding the door wide with a flourish. "Entrez-vous," he asks gallantly, but it comes out "Enthreth-vouth?" and Steve just gives him a confused look as he stalks past into the house.

Instead of dashing up the stairs to dress Steve points Eddie toward the kitchen, while he snags a towel from the powder room in passing- not quite large enough, but better than nothing. Steve gestures Eddie to sit while he hands him a wet paper towel and wraps an ice pack in a clean dish towel. Eddie tends to his bloody mouth, though without the distraction it's an ordeal to keep his eyes from wandering over Steve's physique. Not good. It's not the locker room, no herd to hide amongst, no plausible deniability that he wasn't staring at anyone in particular. Because Steve Harrington is a Rodin, a Donatello, a goddamn Michelangelo. Steve Harrington is killing him. Killing him.

"You can set everything up in the dining room. I'll be upstairs," says the Rodin, the Donatello, the goddamn Michelangelo. "And keep icing that mouth. Last thing I need is for Mike Wheeler to decide he's leading this dog and pony show because you can't do your little incantations or whatever."

He turns and bounds for the stairs. Eddie watches him go. And yeah, that towel does not wrap all the way around. Not even close.