#soooo bad at social interaction sorry

[youareunbearable]

like nerd

Lmao no yeah I got that but like... the context for the ask in the first place? You asked if thats anything and i felt like i missed what brought the question forward in the first place. Was it in response to something I posted or like "this would be funny" cause like if its the last one im soooooo sorry sometimes social cues just go right over my head and as I never get asks unless its in response to something I posted and never like, for fun, so I like i might have ruined this whole interaction sorry😅😅

[cemeterym]

i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead

[nevadancitizen]

do you think you could write something where könig and/or ghost (separate) were nearby or watched reader try to participate in a conversation but constantly got ignored or talked over to the point where they just kinda go silent and walk away? they end up comforting the reader and just trying to be a shoulder to cry on while they talk about their frustrations because this is something that always happens to them <\3

it doesn’t have to be too long and you don’t have to worry about getting to this request too quickly!! thank u for reading anyways :3

-> THE SOCIAL WEAK LINK

synopsis: rookies and debriefings are pains in both you and ghost's asses. rich people fail the turing test while interacting with you and könig.

word count: 2.2k (~1.1k each)

characters: ghost, könig, awkward! reader (lol)

notes: (rings dinner bell) hey friend.. this req has been sitting since september.. im so sorry (ಥ﹏ಥ)

-> GHOST:

Debriefings were always boring. Everyone was tired, sweaty, and just wanted a cold shower and a warm bed. But what else encompasses the military so eloquently except unnecessary misery?

And to add to the misery, some rookies had tagged along to the mission. “On-the-job training,” Price had prattled off as he read the mission statement. He had given you and the rest of the 141 an exaggerated look that screamed If these rookies compromise the mission I’m going to tear the Lieutenant Colonel a new one.

The rookies (with callsigns Quest and Cable) were nice enough. They weren’t given the opportunity to burn off their energy on the mission like the 141 – they’d stayed behind as backup while the 141 went in to deal with the bad guys. As a consequence, now they’re in the debriefing room, chattering away like parrots.

Ghost could fall asleep in the chair he was in, if Cable and Quest were a little quieter. He looks at the next spinny chair over, where you’re sitting. You’ve got your knees tucked to your chin and are silently tracing the patterns in the wood table with a fingernail. Every now and again, you glance at the rookies, but ultimately turn your eyes away.

You were always just a bit too awkward to fit in with the rest of the military. Either too quiet or too loud; you rambled too often and your voice cracked when you did. You slipped through the cracks, into the quiet background with Laswell and Shepherd. You’re one of the powerful hands that move the pieces on the chessboard, but not a well-recognized one. Well-recognized within the 141, yes, but not on a wider scale. 

Ghost can tell how you’re feeling by the obvious emotion on your face. It’s yearning – an emotion Ghost knows well.

His eyes sweep the rest of the table. Gaz is fucking around on his phone, probably making a new Pinterest board, while Soap leans over his shoulder and watches him. Price is in another room, talking to someone important. Ghost couldn’t really bring himself to care about who. 

The entire room is bogged down with an unmistakable tiredness that goes right over Quest and Cable’s heads. Really, the only sound in the room is their voices and, intermittently, yours as you try to inject yourself into their conversation. Each attempt is met with pursed lips that barely count as smiles and something along the lines of “Yeah. Anyway…”

Eventually, Price pops in, leaning his head on the doorframe. The brim of his hat crinkles and his nose wrinkles up in disdain. He sighs. “Everyone out. Lieutenant Colonel wants this meeting room for herself. We’ll debrief later.”

Quest and Cable pop up like excited teenagers and head for the door, continuing to talk. “I’m soooo goddamn hungry. Hopefully the mess hall has something good…”

“Hey!” You practically jump from your chair, your eyes on the rookies. “Um, I heard that they just restocked the vending machines? Do you wanna maybe chick – I mean, check – them out with me? They’re just down the hall.”

They both tense, and Quest looks over their shoulder. They smile awkwardly and exchange a look with Cable. “Uh… maybe another time?”

You visibly deflate and rock back on your heels. “Yeah, totally. See you later.”

They both nod tersely and exit. You take a deep breath and let out a long sigh. You sit back in the spinny chair and it wheels backwards from the force.

Gaz shuts his phone off and groans while Soap sucks air through his teeth. 

“Not your best effort,” Gaz says. 

“I know,” you say. 

“Maybe you’re not just compatible with rookies?” Soap tries.

You roll your head back against the back of the chair and stare at the ceiling. “I know.” 

You sink further into the chair, then stand. “Whatever. Let’s clear out. Price will have our heads if we don’t.”

Ghost tails you out the door. You don’t acknowledge him, but you know he’s there (even if his footsteps are extraordinarily light for a man of his stature). 

“Pompous pricks, ay?” Ghost says. 

You stick your hands in your pockets, hiking your shoulders up by your ears. “Wish they were a little more personable. Wish I was a little more personable.”

“Why, you’re plenty personable.” Ghost laughs gruffly at his own joke as he nudges your shoulder with his. 

“Asking to go ‘chick out’ the vending machines is a personable interaction?” You relax your arms and knock your elbow against Ghost’s. 

“I thought it was funny,” Ghost says. “Even if it was just a slip-up.”

You sigh, but keep up with Ghost as he walks. “If it was funny, then why didn’t they laugh?”

Ghost thinks for a second. “Maybe they just don’t have a sense of humor?”

“You don’t have a sense of humor,” you jab.

Ghost scoffs. “Of course I do.”

“Then make me laugh,” you say. “Make me laugh right now.”

Ghost breathes in and exhales slowly through the fabric of his mask. “Well… do you know why the Cold War was called the Cold War?”

“The supernations fought using proxy wars,” you say. “America and the USSR never really went head-to-head.”

Ghost sighs pointedly. “Yes,” he says, “but also because of the icy-BMs.”

“The what?”

“The Cold War?” Ghost repeats. “Icy?”

“ICBM stands for Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles.” You stop midstep, looking at Ghost with a disbelieving smile. “Ghost, don’t tell me you don’t know what ICBM stands for?”

“No, it –” Ghost sighs. “Icy sounds like IC? Icy-BMs?”

You burst out laughing, waving Ghost away like he was some form of stupid. “Ghost, seriously? You don’t – oh my God!”

“I’m not a fucking knob, I know what…” 

Ghost can’t bring himself to correct you as he watches you laugh like that. It’s a bit too loud and there’s a snort in there somewhere, but it rings true and warms Ghost’s heart. He doesn’t mind being seen as dumb for a minute if you’re able to warm his heart with a sound as nice as that. 

-> KöNIG: 

König nearly always hates going undercover. 

More often than not, the higher-ups stick him in some ill-tailored enemy armor and send him in with nothing but a less-than-encouraging slap on the ass. They know he’ll make it out alive.

On this mission, he feels a little more comfortable. It’s more than obvious you’re not. 

You and König are camped out on the edge of a ballroom, sitting together at a small table. You’re dressed in a fancy outfit that just screams decadence, and it fits your role well – the adult child of some rich, cigar-chomping tech baron. König is playing the role of your bodyguard, dressed down from his usual military garb in a plain black suit (with kevlar padding) and a balaclava.

You cross one leg over the other at the knee and look down at your flute of champagne as you swirl it. The bubbles rise to the surface and pop as the pale liquid settles. 

“I hate this,” you say under your breath, just loud enough for König to hear. 

He nods along, but straightens up when a small group of people approach the table. There’s an older woman, a middle-aged man, and a girl, maybe fifteen. 

“Hi, sweetheart!” An older woman croons at you. “You’re Bohumil Silvester’s youngest, right?”

“Oh!” You sit up straighter and put the champagne flute on the table. “Yes, I am. And, um – and who might you be?”

“I’m Laila Matthews.” Laila checks over her shoulder at the people accompanying her. “This is my daughter, Adine, and this is my husband, Keaton.”

“It’s so nice to meet you!” You smile politely, but König can scope out of the corner of his eye that you’re gripping a bit of the fabric of your too-fancy outfit like you’re meaning to rip it off. You spout your fake name to Laila with a cheeky “But you know that already, right, ma’am?”

Laila is utterly delighted with your carefully constructed persona. She throws her head back and laughs, one hand on her chest and the other finding Keaton’s shoulder. “Oh, Lord. Aren’t you just your father’s child?”

You nod and, once again, smile politely while exchanging side-eye glances with König. He’s just as confused as you are. 

As soon as Laila recovers, she’s talking again. She gestures vaguely in König’s direction. “And who is this? Security, for this casual meeting?”

“Uh, yes, ma’am,” you say. “You can never be too careful these days, with all the laws about concealed carry and everything.”

“Well, I’m 57, and I’ve only had security for a few occasions,” Laila says. 

“You’re 57?” You bark, a little too loud. You can feel a few heads turn your way and Laila’s stare turns withering. König’s shoulders shake as he coughs into his fist.

“I mean, um, you’re 57?” You try again, quieter. “Because you don’t look it. Like, at all. Ma’am.”

Laila’s tone is flat when she speaks. “Right.”

“I meant, um, you look younger? Uh, anyway.” You smile nervously, then pick up your champagne flute and take a sip. “I love your family’s outfits! And the, uh, the way they match.”

Keaton leans in and grabs a hold of Laila’s shoulder. He gets up on his toes to whisper something in Laila’s ear. It’s hard to hear over the ambient noise of the ballroom. Laila nods and Keaton continues to whisper.

“Um, Laila? Mrs. Matthews?” You try to get her attention, to no avail. She keeps nodding to Keaton’s words like you’re not even there.

You stand and turn to Adine. “Adine, right? Tell your mother it was nice speaking to her.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Adine nods absently, her eyes somewhere else on the ballroom floor. 

You toss the rest of the champagne in the flute down like it’s a shot and stand from the table. You make eye contact with König and nod towards the French doors that lead towards the balcony. 

People don’t notice as you and König step out. The sky is clear, yet the night is still young enough to be starless. 

“Christ, I hate rich people,” you mutter under your breath. 

König moves and leans his back against the wrought iron of the railing. His eyes sweep across the small area, then he nods. “Yes. That interaction was less than pleasant.”

You lean against the railing next to him. “Why was she even talking to me? And what did she mean, ‘Aren’t you just your father’s child?’ Like, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I am… not sure,” König says. “Maybe it’s part of rich people code?”

“Yeah, maybe.” You huff out a laugh, then sigh. “I really wasn’t the best pick for this mission.”

“What do you mean?” König asks. “You are perfectly capable of fighting.”

“No, the, like…” you sigh again. “The talking part? I’m not fit for that. Never been a good conversationalist, never will be.”

“You are conversing with me right now, no?” König gestures between you and him. “This is a conversation. You are doing fine.”

“Yes, but…” you trail off. “You saw me. I shouted her age out in front of everyone.”

König hums. “To be fair, it was a bit of a shock.”

You glance up at him and laugh, a pretty smile gracing your features. “Shut up.”

“But it was!” König insists. The fabric of his balaclava puffs out as he laughs. “I had to cough to cover up my laugh. I nearly had to excuse myself.”

“Yeah, sure.” You shove his shoulder half-heartedly as you turn and look out over the railing, at the courtyard. König follows your gaze.

The courtyard is illuminated by ambient lamps. Paths are laid with bricks, with neatly trimmed grass in between each one. Exotic plants from every corner of the globe line the pathways, some of their flowers closed for the night. A fountain is in the middle, with water spouting out of the trumpet of a cherub statue. A few people surround the fountain, talking quietly with drinks in their hands in the low light. 

You lean close to König and point at one of the people – a man in a navy suit. “That’s the target. Mister T. Kilgore.”

“So he is,” König says. He pats under his armpit, checking his sidearm. “We need to get moving. I do not like the way Laila’s husband was talking to her. Suspicious.”

You nod and send König a small smile. “We’re still going with the plan, right? I’m going in and playing drunk?”

“Of course.” König mirrors your smile even though you can’t see it. “Besides, it’ll give you an opportunity to practice your conversation skills.”

You scoff, but you’re still smiling. “Yeah, if I’m planning on interacting with everybody as a drunk idiot for the rest of my life.”

“I’m serious!” König insists. “More likely than not, you’ll never see these people again.”

A beat of silence.

“You’re right.” You knock your elbow against König’s. “Let’s give them a show.”

[glitterincandles]

hi hi!!!! i love your blog smmm!!! if you're still accepting requests, i was wondering if you could do allan (smiling friends) x talkative/very social! reader headcanons? :3

do you think he'd be jealous because his crush/partner has a large social circle or he'd just go along with it?

hii! i'm sorry it took so long for me to respond to this (college stresses me out soo bad) but i finally have enough free time! also i made the formatting quite strange i hope it doesn't ruin anything

allan x talkative/very social! reader :･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

socially

allan definitely leans more towards the jealous side at first

since he's dating you/committed to you, there's a high percent chance that he's completely devoted to you and will do a lot to maintain your relationship even if it means bailing on his coworkers

if he sees you interacting with other people or friends normally, it's fine

^ the least he'll do is lean in and stalk the conversation just to make sure he doesn't hear what he doesn't wanna hear

^^ it is not in a toxic way thankfully he just wants to make sure you aren't being flirty or sharing an embarrassing story about him (becausehe'sinsecure) (and awfully suspicious abt others)

and he doesn't really trust people who are too social/talkative and out there so this relationship would be a learning experience for him

later on after observing the people you're talking to long enough, he develops the habit of randomly jumping into your conversations with people if he doesn't like what he is hearing

person a: hey actually i think nirvana is lame

allan, out of nowhere, for no damn reason: aCTually i think nirvana is kewll and maybe if u had a brain u would think the same thINg

any flirtatious comment said by others also gets shut down. immediately.

^ this doesn't usually apply to compliments besides those that are like very clearly and very obviously attempts to flirt

^^ "ur hair smells soooo good" gtfo

as time goes on and as he learns more and more about your large social circle, his jealous tendencies will definitely diminish for the better

he'll learn to appreciate that you are able to connect with so many different people at once and have a soft spot for it since he really isn't the type to be that way

he'll definitely loosen up more and may even willingly tag along to any event you want to go to with them

^ it'll definitely take a while though

talkative..ly

as for the talkative side of his partner, he'll definitely get great pleasure out of you just talking about anything (more than most would expect)

he isn't much of a talker in general so he appreciates listening to someone who's passionate and always has something to say (especially you) (very specifically made an exception just for you)

he'll let you go on for hours and he'll reply when he has wiggle room too, even if his tone sounds a little hostile, he still enjoys chatting with you

i genuinely don't think he'll hate it at all i think he'll find it pretty cute tbh

•☽──── ✧⋆⋅☆⋅⋆✧ ────☾•

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

♡Weekly Chronicles♡

Hey babes! I've missed you guysss I am so happy I had an amazing trip it was so nice. I went to a convention in Maryland for 5 days it was so nice. I definitely left with a lot of knowledge so many amazing people spoke at the lectures<3 and I'm sorry I missed the weekly affirmations for this week.

♡Education♡

I applied for all my classes for next semester before my trip. I’m low-key excited about the classes I have coming up. Lot of different courses since I'm almost done with my major required classes now I need to fill the rest of my credits with electives. I have an art class next semester just for fun. I can't wait to meet the people in my classes. I have to take this math class I am not excited for at all I hate math lol so every time I update you girliesss on this class I'll probably be complaining lol.

♡Mental♡

Interacting with different people this past week has been very good for me mentally. It brought me back to pre-quarantine Khadija who was such a big extrovert. After covid, I started to have mild social anxiety so this was needed. I dealt with a little insecurities while on my trip interacting with so many beautiful women I started to doubt my looks comparison is the thief of joy, I practiced a lot of the methods my therapist recommended like canceling one negative thought with two positive thoughts. I realized I was all in my head for no reason. I love watching Leo Skepi when I am feeling this way he always gets me together. I highly recommend him if you are dealing with a lack of discipline, self-confidence, or just need someone to get you together with tough love he is that guyyy. Side noteee I missed my antidepressant dose twice in a row because of traveling back to New York and it low-key made me hazy like it was super weird but I took it today. 

♡Physical♡

While I was away I ate super bad! The event was an African-focused event so the food there wasn’t healthy at all. I was going to stick to my diet while on my trip but I decided I'm on a trip let me relax and I don't regret it at all. But I am seeing the consequences of my food choices now I am soooo bloated lol. So I am starting a cleanse tomorrow for the next 14 days I already prepped my ginger shot for the morning I want to flush my system out completely going into the new year. I don't recommend cleanses especially to my babes that have dealt with ED’s always consult your doctors before starting anything. I just do what works for me. 

♡Hobbies♡

Now that I am back I can get back to being consistent with my Italian, pilates, and weight lifting. I was so sad I could not lift I feel like I'm low-key obsessed with lifting lol it feels so good and I've been seeing results, especially in my lower body. While I was gone I didn't have any time to do my hobbies they had us in lectures and events constantly. I practiced my Italian once which I'm happy about. I plan on starting jewelry making next week I'm super excited it was one of my favorite hobbies when I was in middle school. I used to make earrings and bracelets. 

♡Plans For The Weekend♡

My birthday is Sunday, December 31st! I am turning 21 yay! I am super excited I don't have anything planned for my birthday. I am going to have a mini celebration with my family and watch the ball drop my siblings bought me presents so I'm excited to open everything. I'm starting my cleanse so I'll be working out and taking good care of my body internally and externally so I'll be off social media this weekend and focused on my mental and physical health. I plan on creating my vision board and listing my goals this year. My dad is ordering my camera I used to have a YouTube channel but I took a break to work on my self-improvement journey I do plan on getting back on my YouTube grind soon lol so look out for that coming out in 2024! 

This week's little journal entrieee a lot happened this week and I'm excited to see what this new year brings babesss. Comment your plans this weekend and how did your week go?

[httpiastri]

also omg spill the tea on meeting the drivers in spa!!! (only if you want to ofc, ignore this if you don’t 🙏)

aaaaaa okay its time!!!!!! dont grill me if my opinions don't match someone else's, i tried to be as kind as i can 🙏 gonna divide this into categories bcs i met some ppl who are not currently on the f2/f3 grids aaaaa but yeah here we go 🤭

(i saw and was close to pretty much all drivers, but im only including the ones that stood out to me in certain ways here 😊 in order of their racing numbers !!)

f3 !!!

dino beganovic - okayyy soooo. this and paul's will go kinda in the same direction… like i was not surprised to see him act not like super happily lol. i understand! when around fans or just people he doesn't know too well, he was not very excited. but when he was talking to jamie (ollie's... idk what he is? manager ish?), he was that cute happy self he can be! but most of the time, it was the dino we get to see in most prema videos from this year (like the "how well do you know your teammates" one) where he's just…. idk :/ dont blame him tho, im sure he's a great guy once you get to know him!!

gabriele mini - honestly i feel like i barely saw him, except when he and his gf were leaving 😭 welp. but he seemed happy to carry around his trophy!!

arvid lindblad - saw him already on thursday and was shocked both because i couldn't believe my eyes (it's him!! he actually exists!!!!!) and bcs he was much shorter than i had anticipated 😭 sorry arvid

sami meguetounif - i didn't see him around a lot but i saw him on the friday helping his team pack up the tent (carrying big things and such), while all other drivers seemed to not really care (from what i could see)(not just trident, but all teams). respect !!!!!!

tim tramnitz - i knew he was tall but he looked even taller irl!!!! i was so shocked, i felt so tiny

ollie goethe - seemed really happy and lowkey surprised when fans wanted to take pics with him 🥺 had a terrible haircut tho lmao i felt so bad for him... but he seemed so sweet all weekend!!! rlly wish i had talked to him aaaaaa

sebastian montoya - saw him around a lot talking to all kinds of drivers, seems very social butterfly-y :) he seemed very happy after the feature, and he seemed to definitely bring up pepe's mood too because they were talking and joking around for a long time 🥺 his sister (paulina) is also even more gorgeous irl omfg i didn't even think that would be possible…. like we always talk about how amazing she looks in pics but she was so so gorgeous irl (sadly didn't get to see her interact with nikita but 💔 i'll live ig)

luke browning - saw him tons and !! why is he so handsome ?!?!?!! genuinely fell in love all over again. what even. like i keep constantly thinking back to the eye contact we shared and im just. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 seemed sweet with fans too, not super energetic but agreed to pics and such. wish i had shown him my browning bracelet or asked him to sign my sm shirt but i was too shy 💔

christian mansell - saw him get really happy when fans recognized and talked to him, i wanted to show him my mewsell bracelet but didn't have the courage 💔 but sweet and happy as usual!! no surprises there

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f2 !!!

victor martins - actually dont think i saw him all weekend 😭 idk how i managed that

zak o'sullivan - i saw him a few times, he seemed like a bit down ?? very understandable considering how he had glandular fever ?!?!?!?!!! poor boy :( but god did he look good despite it lmao

ollie bearman - very tall and definitely very popular, always ppl waiting to take pics with him lol! didnt speak to him and wasnt very close to him either but he seemed smiley and happy :) tbh i think i saw jamie more than i saw ollie himself ?? lmao

kimi antonelli - tiny!! and the hair is so so curly!!!! he was actually cuter irl, dont understand how he can do that but yeah. also very popular, and was very happy and kind when fans wanted pics hehe

zane maloney - think this guy had like a magnet attached to me or something because i saw him everywhere all the time 😭 like even when there were no other f2 drivers left, he was there… seemed sweet, his freckles are really cute irl too :)

jak crawford - so so tall!!! and the hair looked even better irl oh my god

juan manuel correa - was a second away from asking him for an autograph but he started talking on the phone at that exact moment 😶 seemed so sweet tho!

gabriel bortoleto - aka bortolotti as the commentators said 😐 saw him chatting with a bunch of different drivers, very much a social butterfly like sebas (or is it just because he's very liked in the paddock? likely both). wanted to go up to him when he was talking to luke (they stood outside their hospitality for a long time just talking) and ask for autographs on my sm tshirt (and to tell them that i loved their appearances on the pod) but was too nervous shdjdhdj

enzo fittipaldi - he had the cutest interaction ever with his gf, i nearly melted at the sight of them 🥺 and big bro was there supporting him all weekend too which was cute lol

paul aron - the driver i think most ppl are gonna read and ignore all other drivers lol. i only saw him on the friday and… well….. i wasnt surprised because i had not expected him to be the most open and excited etc. 🤷‍♀️ like he did agree to take pics and such! he put on a little smile for the fans! but there was nothing extra, which i understand. i think we all know the kind of expression he puts on and how "neutral" he looks at most times? like, when he's not around a close friend etc then he seems a little cold. to me, i feel like it just makes his smiles much more valuable in some way!! he wasnt very smiley even with karl or ralf, ig maybe he was focused on qualifying, but he didnt give anything extra and i dont blame him for that. still owns my heart !!!! <33 and i think that the difference from dino is that he seemed more focused and more ig neutral than cold like dino. paul didnt seem neither happy nor mad etc, just blank. 😌 (but god did he look SO GOOD, his hair was so light and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest istg. he looked so so good that i was too shy to even look too much at him 😭)

is*ck h*djar - pls i dont wanna say what i actually think but. his mom was so sweet 😭 my dad (who, for context, does hobby photography) held his camera aimed to the campos truck door in case pepe would come out, but she came out instead and like apologized and stuff for being in the way? so cute :((

pepe marti - 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 how do i even begin to describe him? when there aren't enough words in the entire world? the most gentle and sweet person ever actually, he seemed so tired and just done with the weekend when i talked to him but he still made time for me and tried to stay optimistic. sweetest boy ever <33333333 (i actually still cant really believe i met him and talked to him. like my brain still short-circuits a bit when i think about it. he was just truly an angel and i miss him so much <//3 i also cried a ton after that lol but he didn't see it so that's okay)(also his hands look even bigger irl 😁 sorry gtg)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

former drivers/others !!!

fred vesti - like 10 minutes after the gp had finished, i just happened to accidentally run into him? like he was just heading out of the gate i was going into and so i stopped and gasped and just!!!!! and no one around me even looked at him (we were walking around general admission yk, just a big crowd all heading out on the track) which made me really sad but it was so cool to see him irl!!! he was taller than i had expected awww and so pretty

ralf aron - the only sentence that's still swirling around in my head: "is it possible to fall in love at first sight if you're already a fan?"....... because i think i fell in love 🫠🫠 when i tell you he was gorgeous, i mean it on a NEW LEVEL. like im obsessed. i was obsessed before but now im obsessed^2. actually insane. and he has the exact same voice as paul omg i would not be able to tell them apart irl. i love him so much, please help

adrian campos (jr) - sorry for including two team principals but 😭 idk where i get my shyness and social anxiety from because my dad has some kind of talent with people. he talks to everyone and everyone like him ??? anyways so he just randomly went up to the campos team principal and asked about pepe and they had a short but very friendly discussion 😭 and then he even came up to my dad later for new pepe updates lmao so he was a really sweet guy!!!

rene rosin - i didnt speak to him, saw him around a lot tho, but pt 2 of "my dad collecting team principals"…. my dad went to the f3 paddock and came back to tell me that he talked to "some prema dude" about dino's car… the convo went my dad: "is dino's car perfect now?". prema dude: "perfect for what?!". dad: "perfect for winning, of course!". prema dude: "yes, of course!!" and they had laughed and joked around and what not. i thought it was a funny interaction but didnt think more about that. until a while later, my dad pointed at rene and went "there's my friend from before!!" and i just ?!? you asked RENE if dino's car was good????? so yeah thumbs up to rene for being a funny dude 😁

sacha fouquet - sorry for including this but he also looked very good irl 😶 alsoooo like when i was hurrying to the f3 feature (i was running very late and wanted to be there for the start), i had to go under this tunnel to get from the paddock to the grandstands?? like a pretty narrow tunnel, only like 2-3 ppl width... and guess tho were heading to the paddock right when i was rushing away? all of the prema performance/race engineers! lovely timing! because they're all so so cool and made me so so so nervous 😭 (and the way i was just having to pretend like i haven't seen them all in 100 vids and even made gifs of them lmao what)

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gold star to anyone who made it this far ⭐️ sorry for the random yapping lol and for saying everyone looked better irl but it is true!!!! this isnt proofread so i apologize for any mistakes etc, pls feel free to ask if anyone has any questions... <3<3

[samkkiwi]

soooo, how do you like Natalia?

she sounds so cool!!! i rlly like it ^_^ ( i'm bad at social interactions uhhhhhh sorry for the wait )

[kinescopes]

kieren sideblog complaining essay

hi it’s me coming back to this blog bc i found the email and i need to write an essay on my feelings bc i feel crazy insane right now. i have been so crazy anxious recently and i know it’s definitely because of the impending new school but it’s making it hard to talk to people because im just so scared of everything which is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what i need right now if i want to be able to make friends at [college name]. so much has happened to me in the past week and everything is moving soooo quickly but it’s kind of my fault bc i waited so long to pay my tuition deposit. i feel so strange about every interaction i have lately and im back in “everyone wants to kill me” mode which is so unreal and i know it’s absurd and it’s just a crazy pattern i get into whenever im stressed and im trying my best to not let it take over but it’s getting crazy. in therapy on tuesday i was explaining my current scary issue and he was talking about how far ive come since my terrible winter and like yeah that’s true but here i am again getting back into these stupid ass patterns where i overthink things so much i can’t do them. i have had so much difficulty taking care of myself still & my apartment is still in shambles and im like trying to make a dent in it but it just goes back to awful again and i know i can ask one of my friends to come help me because she used to do that when i lived with nick but this is so bad im so embarrassed. i really really need to start making an even larger dent on my days off so if you guys see me blogging on monday and tuesday please kill me. i don’t think im depressed at the moment i think im just so not adjusted to the sisyphean tasks of life and thats something ive wanted and tried to work on but i just don’t try hard enough. i definitely have some health issue and its probably a vitamin deficiency going on but i forgot to tell my doctor during my appointment last week bc my hypersomnia seems worse like its so hard to get out of bed on my days off. when i can get out of bed i work on hobbies instead of cleaning which is a good thing that im able to do that again but also i need to be fixing my apartment. im just constantly going in circles about this and always complaining about it but never making significant progress in both executive function & being social irl and its like i know what i should do in these situations but i just cant and i feel like im making excuses for myself. so monday. i will try. also sorry if i go into hiding its because this all makes me so scared and then i get scared of how i interact with people when im stressed. i should put this under a readmore.

[nordicbananas]

*appears in your inbox* HELLO! I have been directly invited to talk about I was a teenage exocolonist!!

I'm rn like halfway through year 18 so I am very close to the end of my first game I am very hyped!!

Thoughts on nomi? They seem sweet but unfortunately all of my social stats are SHIT so I can't really interact with them beyond. Giving them gifts occasionally. Whenever I do a run and work on my social stats I'm def gonna try n be friends with em

Rn my two best friends are cal and tangent, though rex also as high as it can be with my like. 50 engineering and him only being around since year 15 haha

Uhmmm other than that? I am soooo intruiged by what is going on in this game, like I only just got to the ridge when exploring and I'm so mad it's taken this long. Also I think this run has gone so bad oh man I killed tammy age 10 and then we had a famine in which killed flulu, and then got the stuff I needed for the shimmer cure the day before geranium died and I'm so mad I still haven't figured out how to use the stuff I find while surveying to progress plots and agrh I'm mad. And so I'm currently at war with the planet and have no idea what to do about it aha

If u want me to kindof liveblog the ending of my run then 👀 I am sitting patiently in your inbox until I finish the game later today hehehe

RAHHH SCREAMING SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG BUT!!! I JUST GOT A BIT BACK INTO MY EXO CRAZE SO LET'S TALK ABOUT IT :DDD

omg i hope that your first playthrough and second if you've finished it was AMAZING and that you continue to play. because i adore the replayability of this game so much.

NOMIIII yeah it's actually kinda hard to get 100 hearts with the helio kids if that's not your goal

cal and tang are so <33 they're the silliest!!! i love them both and they have such amazing arcs i think. rex is also very cool he makes me happy :)

(nomi and rex forever they're best friends even if they end up dating in some endings <333)

dwdwdw for the deaths, actually do worry they made me cry too, but you can save all three!! there's usually stuff about your past lives to help you, and once you do it the first time it's super easy to keep on doing it. YOU CAN DO IT SAVE THEM ALL!!!

good luck with nature though. not much you can do about that after it happens.

also please ik this is late but please update me about your adventures!!

[intern-seraph]

Aough I've got Malleyuu on the brain again (shocker) and I desperately want to brainrot about a new fic idea but it just ain't coming 😔 You're kind of like, the only Malleyuu author I know (there's def more but my memory is shit agjdhdjdhd) and am brave enough to talk to so:

Thoughts on an Enemies to Lovers Malleyuu fic/au? Any ideas on how it could go? I've been desperately wracking my brain for any fun ideas bcs it sounds like it could be really fun to think abt but it just ain't comin 😔

Every time I try to imagine it though, it has a sort of superhero/supervillain setting so that's something I guess???

Sorry for hopping into ur ask box again. Malleyuu is making me feel not normal to the point of being uncharacteristically social agsjhsjdbdj

-Matcha (twstjam)

do not apologize i very much so enjoy seeing asks!!!!

first thoughts: in an au that follows the canon setting and general plot, i can see it happening in a malleo kinda way if that makes sense? malleus is the kinda guy who immediately jumps to "i should just incinerate them :)" as an immediate solution to people who irritate him enough lol (remember twisted halloween when he was like "LILIA LET ME GO I NEED TO BURN THEM RIGHT NOW"? top ten malleus moments.)

anyways my point here is i can see it as an academic rivals kinda enemies to lovers where yuu carries the brunt of the negative vibes — at least, if this is still a scenario where mal is One Of The Top Five Mages In The World levels of powerful as he is in canon and yuu is still some kind of Relatively Powerless Person. yuu might be trying to compensate for their lack of magical ability by getting the best damn grades possible, and they feel threatened by malleus being... malleus. like, "how come YOU were born with so much magic but I'M incapable of even riding a broom? bitch." and mal has this bad habit of coming off as really smug and condescending even if he's not, so you've got this great clash between someone who's determined to hate the other person who keeps unintentionally feeding into that hate. ofc, he does find their attitude to be pretty annoying sometimes, but mainly he thinks it's rather funny and charming that they've got the guts to be so openly hostile. and they are soooo mad that he isn't taking their declaration of academic war as seriously as they are! who does he think he is?! perhaps in their quest to make him view them as a serious threat, they start spending more time with him, trying to figure out how to get under his skin, and slowly... he starts to grow on them. and he starts taking them more seriously, just not in such a hostile manner.

i could also see it with yuu being the prince/ss/x of another kingdom and they just do not vibe with malleus at first and the feelings? they are sooo mutual. but they have to interact cordially in order to not, like, pit BV and yuu's kingdom against each other. no matter how much malleus can get away with, he definitely would not be able to scrape past a scandal like "crown prince of briar valley murders heir of neighboring kingdom in a fit of rage!" and also his grandma would kick his ass for it probably. bc of their stations, they have to interact relatively regularly, and they are CONSTANTLY butting heads. it's all very artfully hidden behind backhanded compliments and flowery language but they haaaaate each other. but eventually it starts going from "I Hate You" to "I Hate Your Stupid Hot Face" to "I Hate How Much I Wanna Kiss You Right Now" and neither of them wanna admit it bc malleus is prideful and stubborn and yuu is also very stubborn. cue shenanigans.

i'm not super into superhero/villain aus (i just don't think abt them that often lol) but i can totally see that also working! it's just not my thing so i can't think of many ideas for it

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

waaahhh ari i'm sorry i'm soooo bad at replying but I LOVE being an anon 😭😭 born to be a yapper forced to be anxious with social interactions 😞😞 I'm back ari!! no more uni worries for me for the next month :33 I finished my exams and since then i've been treating myself with good sleep like you said!! for the sashisu thoughts we were having just know im preening bcoz you said it's cute :33 wringing my hands together and shuffling my feet and cheesing And sugu is such a silly caretaker you're right!! spoils you and then rolls his eyes at you acting spoiled. like. YOU made me like this??? I read this little thing where we were trying on his robes and they were falling off our shoulders.. and he laughed but then said that he would carry us around in them and wear them together and im 🥺🥺 Waahhh ari.. i wish that silly goofy man was real... i've been thinking a lot about jjk0 lately and that man is so ahsjhdhjdfg giggling at his nonsense (did you see what i did there :33)

i hope you have a lovely day today <333 and make sure to take care of yourself!! ❄ anon

MY SWEET LITTLE ❄️ ANON!!!!!!!

never ever apologize for taking time to send asks, you know there’s never any rush!!! <333 i love chatting with you no matter how or when!! and as you can probably tell my own responses have gotten late recently :’3 we’re both doing our best…!!!

ANDDDD I AM SO SO PROUD OF YOU 🫂🫂🫂 ruffling your hair and patting your head!!!! i know you did your best and i’m so glad you’re taking the time to rest too 🥺🥺 you deserve it!!! me and sashisu are rolling you up in a big blanket and tucking you into bed <333 AND PLEASEEE YOU’RE SO CUTE 😭😭😭 those sashisu thoughts are still being devoured by the mice y’know!!! they wanted me to tell you that they’re very grateful for the meal <33333 they love you!!!!!

SUGU IS SUCHHHH A SILLY CARETAKER HE’S SO…… oughhhh. he’s annoying but in the cutest way possible <//3 BUT HELLOOOOOO HI HELLO……. my dearest ❄️ anon……… could you please pretty please send the geto fluff my way?? 🥺 i was literally JUST thinking abt wearing his robes and how much he’d adore it phdkdjdj….. need to read and rb it with a million tags IMMEDIATELY……

AND REALLLL YOU’RE SO REAL!!!!! THE 0 THOUGHTS HAVE BEEN HAUNTING ME TOO :((( he’s soooo silly lonely doomed loserboycoded etcetc… AND PLEASE HIS NONSENSE LINE 😭😭 takahiro sakurai u may be an awful man but your voice acting changed my life . he’s so cunty……..

i hope YOU have a lovely day my little snow angel <3333 tysm for stopping by!!! and as always, remember that there’s never any rush to respond; take it at your own pace!! just know u have my heart and love and mice <3333 MWAHH

[il-predestinato]

hi!! i'd like to ask for your advice. i'd really like to have some mutuals (not sure if the term is correct) or like people here on tumblr or on twitter i can talk with about f1 and lestappen. the problem is that i usually don't interact with posts (apart from liking them) on any social media platform becasue i'm really anxious and insecure about stuff like this so that makes it a bit hard. i've been thinking about dming people but idk what to write because i'm worried it will come off as weird or lame. (((i just hope this message won't be like that))) my question is how do you start a this kinda conversation? do i just ask them if they want to talk or like.. ? i'm really sorry if this sounds stupid or something but i have absolutely zero skills in online interactions and you seem really nice and i hope it's okay that i reached out🫶🫶

Of course, it's always okay to reach out in my inbox!

I think lestappies are generally an inclusive and welcoming bunch of people, and many of us totally identify with the same insecurity with online interactions! I know I certainly do - as many times I see a post or tag and just want to ramble my love or my thoughts at that person but was too shy to put myself out there.

There is a lestappen discord community that you can join. I'm not sure how active it is (I haven't been on there too much; I just find it easier to talk to 1-4 people at a time! 😅), but it might be a good place to chat and make friends.

One awesome thing about tumblr is you can reblog and use tags without 'forcing' any interaction back. I've literally made friends on the basis of their reblog tag wall of thoughts on my posts, or my reblog tags on their posts. And yes, I can guarantee you that every. SINGLE. OP. loves reading the reblog tags. 🤣

I also think DMing (or Inbox Asking) people is totally fine! To be honest, I wish people did that more! I actually LOVE hearing from people who love the same things I do. I can't speak for everyone, but I think it's far from weird or lame. It's more like "omg someone wants to chat with me about lestappen?! that's amazing!"

As for starting a conversation, my go-to used to be "I just read your fic and it's fucking amazing...." I entered the lestappen fandom as a fic writer a few years ago (yes, shocking I know, *hides my current google doc folder with >100 pages of unfinished lestappen wips shamelessly*), so I know how much that means to writers, and even if I've left kudos and a comment already, sometimes I just want to reach out and tell them how much their story blew me away, made me zone out on the drive home, etc. And really it can be anything that is common ground - "saw your tags on that lestappen post - max is down SOOOO bad, right?!" "your gifset of the press conference was beautiful!" etc, etc.

I hope you enjoy your time and experience on lestappenblr! 😉

[palmastrings]

SATAN STUFF

(sorry this is written in a whim forgive my bad grammar)

Mkay, so I don't know if anyone has ever said this before. I've played the game for nearly two years now, but I don't interact much with the fandom. I don't usually re read lessons, so everything I say might just be the words of an idiot

Who raises Satan?

Alright, so I know that everyone is like

“Mammon raised Satan :D”

And I get it! Mammon is great and i'll eat up any content with him in it and I live for found family mushy stuff but HEAR ME OUT

LEVI and/or ASMO RAISED HIM

Like, Satan gets a lot of his traits from Lucifer, but he gets his book nerdiness from Levi, and I'd like to believe he gets his more social personality from Asmo. That's not to mention that on

Satan's birthday card it says that Satan relies on Levi. I pretty much think it's canon that Asmo and Satan are super close and go have coffee together while talking CHISME.

I like the idea that while Mammon looks and supports Lucifer, Levi, and Asmo (who to me are mostly shown as being the least brotherly of the 7) help Satan establish an identity and personality.

I would also like to bring up the fact that Levi first is the one who brings up the fact that Satan was influenced by his brothers (while using a game analogy to tie it all together) soooo, yeah he gets it.

Satan the golden child

I don't know if this is Canon, but I never thought of Satan ever being a child despite the title I used for this section. The brothers tend to describe Satan's distain towards Lucifer as a“rebellious phase”. Kinda the same why one would describe an edgy teen. It kinda gives me the impression that Satan wasn't always a menace. Maybe in his early days, while he did rip up a couch or two in a rage, before he was normally very silent, compliant, and dare, I say… obedient.

Not to say he isn't since Satan typically likes to present himself as calm and collected, but thiswould be to a whole other level.

So I hope maybe this would be brought up in Nightbringer since on twitter it was revealed thatSatan would be the least familiar.

Late to the party

So, in the early memory devilgrams (if i remember correctly), Satan is absent. I'm pretty sure this is confirmed, but I think Satans timeline from birth to joining the family went something like

● Luci rips his wings off early into the celestial war conflict

● The wings grow back white

● Satan is vibing by himself for hundreds (thousands???) of years

● Satan joins the family after they have established themselves well into the devildom

Ngl id be pretty jazzed if we get to see Satan's journey terrorizing random civilians.

[fairycosmos]

I never understood why some people find it so hard to take a shower when they’re depressed. I know it’s completely valid I just can’t understand what that must feel like. Cause I’ve always seen showers as a cleansing ritual, like I’d rather do it five times a day than the other way around. The more depressed I get the more I clean myself and my environment. I think it’s the shame that forces me to compensate for my “dirty“ mind (as in ugly thoughts, sadness and anger not sexual stuff) Weird how people can be and act so different while going through similar situations

i think for me it comes from a joint place of not caring and literally not having the mental energy to expend on looking after myself in even the most basic ways. the former because while depressed i generally don't care if i am dirty, hungry, uncomfortable etc, i don't even really care whether or not i'm alive even though that sounds soooo dramatic. i do feel shame about it like you said, so i totally get what you mean, but it doesn't drive me toward action much. it just keeps me locked in place, which feeds into the cycle of not taking care of myself bc i feel bad and then feeling bad bc i'm not taking care of myself. and the latter because all of my strength is generally just going into staying awake and making it through the day at the even the most simplistic level, so things like showering and socializing kinda fall by the wayside. i've heard often that depression/mental illness manifests the way you've described for a lot of people though, i think it just depends on what you're experiencing specifically + the type of person you are and how those two aspects of your life interact. sounds like you're trying to make up for how you feel internally by hyper-focusing on how you feel externally. i'm sorry you have to deal with it, it must be its own brand of exhausting and miserable. why do our brains insist on hating us LMFAO! sending you a big hug. x

[vvatchword]

Soooo I may have fucked up.

As you may not realize, i love people. I smile at everyone. I go out of my way to help folks, have no fear of strangers, and have no concept of hierarchy, so I treat everyone the same, from child to service worker to CEO. I also have some distinct quality that makes other people glom onto me. This has been a lifelong superpower/curse. For some reason, strangers can tell I'm a big ol softie from a distance. Thus I tend to attract everyone from kids to con artists, all for obvious reasons.

This quality used to drive me insane as a young adult. I lived in a town with a big mental institution, so it was common for people with mental disorders to literally seek me out of crowds. I note this because, well, what's the most common problem afflicting the homeless?

I've never lived in a place with such a big homeless population, so I never thought twice about my general behaviors and continued smiling at everyone, talking to them without hesitation, helping out with cash here and there, etc. Well, friends, there's just one problem with this: the homeless are treated like trash at worst and ignored at best.

So.

Uh.

Usually my interactions with them has been super wholesome. Big smiles back and forth, neat conversations, cool stories, you know. It took a year and a half before I realized I was fucking up (and it's possible I was being mistreated before, coincidentally, i just can't tell because I have the social skills of an affable dog). I got chased by two homeless guys for four blocks. I had to trick one of them to escape.

"never again!" I told myself. "Stop being so goddamn smiley!"

Does this work? No. Self is a golden retriever. Self wants to love on all the people. At one point I was telling Zak all about how I met a neat guy and listened to his life story and she was like, "STOP"

Oh. Yeah :(

(he went to jail for killing a man. In retrospect, i may be an idiot.)

For the second time in four months, a homeless dude has glommed onto me, and it's a little concerning. He's a street artist who I had a great interaction with about two weeks back. He was waiting at my bus stop in soft shoes and hospital scrubs with stacks of art all made up with craft paint. I was excited. I'd seen him at other bus stops and had wanted to peruse his wares. I told him so. He was so delighted. I bought a couple of pictures for $20 (you could choose how much to pay, i decided to treat him like I'd treat any artist) and put the art up in my office.

I saw him again yesterday and, uh.

He saw me and said, "Hello, my friend!" And got up for an awkward hug. I think I would have been more gung-ho had i not immediately flashed back to how the previous chase sequence started (overt affection).

"Koranado, how's the art going?" I asked.

"good, my friend, good. You know, I love you," he said.

I laughed nervously. I mean yeah you can use "love" affectionately, but I'm so bad at reading strangers and I didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

"how about this," he said. "I like you. So I don't get in trouble."

"haha I like you too," i said.

"I'm clean, you know," he said. "Got a full checkup from the doctor and I'm clean."

He was looking at me meaningfully, my friends in hell. Now, it is possible he was worried I thought he was dirty or something instead, but that wasn't a concern of mine at all. It's a Texas summer at 104°, everyone is a filthy bog monster, including me. I just don't know how to fucking lie.

"congratulations!" I said. "You know, every time I see you out here with your art, I smile. I hope you carry that with you."

"You are a mother's milk. Speaking of mother's milk, can I have any money for a meal? do you see any art you like?"

"I'm so sorry! I literally have no money. I'll come back when I get paid, though."

"that's okay. That's okay. Here, take this. Make sure no one is watching when you shower. No one is watching."

"advice to live by," i said. (Self!!! said my inner voice. Self why!!!)

He gave me pictures on the house--his best yet--but overall it was. Uh. A little cursed.

Now, I'm pretty sure this guy is manic, from some things I've seen. And who knows what his actual qualities as a human being are. But now I'm concerned about going back to my bus stop. And that makes me feel bad on multiple levels. The homeless aren't that far from any of us. They are human beings who deserve respect and care. But I also can't sacrifice myself in the name of kindness.

The world ain't fair, folks. The world ain't fair at all.

[thedreadvampy]

Ohhhhh it's a Day lads

got done reflecting on my Anarchist Infighting and realised I was getting low-blood-sugar-dizzy.

whereupon halfway down the stairs to the kitchen I got two WhatsApps in quick succession, one from the person I had been talking to on Friday and one from the partner of the person we were talking about, and it became quickly evident a) that things had come to a head with all the issues of entitlement and control coming from the person in question and b) it was about to become my problem

so to vaguepost on main. fully understand if you've had a stressful bad breakup with someone you may want to not be in a space with them. It's your prerogative to set boundaries with your friends like 'please let me know if you're inviting this person to a thing because I won't come' or 'please could you not talk about them to me' or 'I'm not comfortable being in a group chat or channel where they can see what I'm saying so I'm leaving this group of they stay/I'm moving to a different channel and I'd like you to come too so we stay in touch'. these are all reasonable boundaries.

what I don't consider a reasonable boundary is "I'm not comfortable being in a space with my ex so I'm going to ask my partner with admin privileges to remove them from every group chat we're both in, including ones they were in first and ones somebody else set up, without talking to anyone else in those groups about it because I Don't Want To Make Things Awkward"

and I don't appreciate, when I say "I actually substantially do mind if you try to remove people from my social groups without taking to me because you have an issue with them," being told "I'm sorry you're upset" and "I'm sorry if I made things awkward" instead of "I'm sorry I think it's my prerogative to decide who other people are allowed to interact with"

But the only reason I KNEW about this was because their partner who they asked to remove their ex from my chat correctly intuited that I might want a say in that and asked if it was ok, meaning that they got caught in the middle of me arguing with their partner while also trying to talk their partner down after a bad breakup.

and I don't appreciate this.

and I don't appreciate the degree to which everyone involved keeps excusing person A's shitty entitled behaviour while handwaving that their ex has been "soooo shitty" when based on what I've seen while their ex has been miserable to be around and a huge stressor in their life that I think isn't good for anyone, that's pretty clearly because they are in a horrendously bad mental health state and are spinning out, not because they don't care. like they are clingy and emotionally volatile and often leave situations in tears but

a) so does the other person!!! and

b) the response from the other person has been to go cold, aggressive and rude to them and treat them like a burden and I'm like. at some point staying in the relationship becomes the crueler act if you can't be around someone without getting angry at them or calling them a burden to their face. god knows it's not a bad or unreasonable thing to not have the resources to Fix Someone In Constant Crisis but if you staying with them is just compounding the crisis for both of you then you gotta leave instead of standing there complaining that they're making you be mean.

and I don't appreciate this being framed as me being unreasonable or their ex manipulating me when I have had these concerns about their behaviour being controlling and entitled for years before I even met their ex.

and I don't like the imbalance where it matters of people might ask them questions or make them uncomfortable if they left the group so they'd prefer to silently kick their ex out of the group without telling anyone so that any """"Drama"""" falls on the ex.

and I have been finding this whole thing so INCREDIBLY fucking triggering because so much of this is tying me back into how fucking carefully I've tried to dance around and respect everyone's except my own needs in the past in very similar situations and how extremely badly that's got me hurt.

and I value my friendships with the people close to this person too much to walk away entirely. but I also. can't fucking talk about it too them because of I try to talk in the abstract they equivocate and talk shit about how hard things are for this person and how nobody's being fair to them. and if I mention how hugely fucking triggering it is for me then it will become even more about my emotional state. and it's not fucking about my emotions! my emotions are my business! Their behaviour is their business!!!!!

anyway no progress on cleaning so far