#soph's meta

[reflection-s-of-stars]

One really subtle, fun thing about the locked tomb is how they talk about “generalist” necromancy.

Judith says in Cohort Intelligence Files that Abigail’s necromancy is “generalist,” though we later find out her real skill lies with spirits. No matter how true it is, this is one of a few things in CIF that paint Abigail as a less-than-stellar necromancer (another one is the idea that her political power is what sets her apart from the others).

So “generalist” necromancy is seen as less advanced than a specialization, like Harrow’s in bone or Ianthe’s in flesh.

You don’t see a ton of that in fantasy media. In A:TLA, normal benders like Katara, Toph and Zuko are far less powerful than Aang, because he can bend all four elements. In Aurora (my favorite ever webcomic that you should all read), Erin has more prestige than any other living mage because he can do every type of magic. The Owl House shows wild witches like Eda, who do multiple kinds of magic, to be outlaws and outcasts. I could go on.

The reason fantasy authors do this is because they want to present magic as a skill/ability, whether it’s inherent or learned. It’s like sports or an instrument: the more you practice, the more things you can do, and the more things you can do, the better you’re considered.

And that’s the big difference between these examples and the Locked Tomb: instead of a skill to learn, TLT presents necromancy as an academic field.

In academia, specialization (like a college major, or being a specific kind of doctor) is common and expected. You’re encouraged to dive deep into one area of expertise, rather than being a jack-of-all-trades. That’s what necromancy is.

“Yes, Pent is a ridiculously powerful political force and talks to ghosts on a regular basis, but she’s a generalist. Not like Ianthe, who’s good at flesh magic!”

It’s really subtle, but it adds to the tonal blend of sci-fi and fantasy that helps make TLT so cool.

[chefbuck]

roy is grumpy bc he is like suppressing his inner weird girl and he doesnt know why its so difficult to be normal and jamie is like omg i love weird girls my first love is a weird girl and that makes roy mad bc he doesnt know if hes horny or pissed off (both hes pissed off that jamie makes him horny) and if u just lock them in a room together they basically neutralize each other

[john-marstn]

Thinking about how John spent 8 years after Arthur's death repressing his grief and refusing to talk about him, probably trying his best to follow Arthur's advice to "be a man", which in John's time could have only meant not showing any signs of "weakness".

Thinking about how all that repressed grief, shrouded by a promise of masculinity, manifested itself into bursts of rage, which caused John to sabotage his attempts at leading a normal life by falling back into fights and killing.

Thinking about how John tried to get rid of all that pain by going after Micah—convincing himself that it's not because of his own sorrow, no, he'd just do it for Arthur, even though he knew damn well Arthur would consider his quest for revenge foolish, as he always had.

Thinking about John killing Micah and realizing that it did nothing to relieve him of the emptiness inside of him; killing Micah didn't bring Arthur back, it didn't give him closure, it did...nothing. It just opened the wound back up, after it had been so carefully buried and left to fester in John's subconscious mind.

Thinking about how, lore-wise, that realization is probably why we never hear John even mentioning Arthur in RDR1. Because John never healed, and the only way he knows how to move on is to repress those emotions once more, and never speak of his brother again.

[sophsun1]

The way the simple concept of dancing is so deeply ingrained and threaded through britin's story arc is just *chefs kiss*

Arguably the first real moment Brian is aware that Justin isn't just some kid is when he uses his dancing prowess to lure those two tricks away from him in 1x03 and play him at his own game. He refuses to just back down which not only ignites Brian's jealousy but also his respect on some level because you know he was very impressed alongside turned on and in the end he gave into it and Justin got his man.

PROM!!! NEED I SAY MORE

Pride 😭😭😭

Justin admitting in 3x08 that he hasn't danced in forever since their breakup and his Ethan era. He casually tries to invite Brian to dance with his "do you like this song, I love this song" and where does the following episode open once they've reunited? On the Babylon dance floor of course! reclaiming their spot and it's also how everyone knows they're back together and all is right with the world lol.

You always liked dancing with Justin - state the obvious why don't you Michael 😅

Justin dragging Brian's non existent dancing skills - OSCAR WORTHY MOMENT.

Anyway there's a meta gifset fighting to get out on the correlation between them and dancing whether my brain can untangle it and make it come to fruition who knows? Regardless it's such a beautiful theme for them.

[daddy-ul]

you and me starting to string the meta together:

You and me trying to convince the fandom that the dots are absolutely connected:

[florafound]

META   + family!

META TIME : FAMILY (+LOVE, cont.)

Much like her concept of love, family is a complicated term for Kit and it's very much wrapped into the fact that she DOESN'T understand love. Based on what she's heard and observed, family is one of two things 1) people you are related to by birth or marriage or 2) people you love dearly that you keep with you.

Sophie had a family - her father, Vincent, and her surrogate mother. They raised her, housed her and protected her, until they couldn't.

Of course, Kit only remembers this family in fractured memories that she doesn't even completely trust are real. So that leaves definition number 2. But Kit doesn't understand how a family can exist if LOVE only exists in the pages of her plant books. If LOVE to her is the rising sun - how does that translate to people? When she watches families interacting, she wonders if they are simply people of relation or if that is love? If something in the way they act and speak is equal to the feeling of love.

When she travels with people, when she grows close to them, she wonders if they are family, but she knows they can't be. After all, she doesn't know how to love. And she hates herself for it. Love is for plants and cats and the sun. By definition, they can never be her family.

[sugarandwhiskey]

okay okay I know it’s super meta but only like one person has made a joke about soph looking different since I changed her fc and just, wasted opportunity lol also going to bed for real now

[breitzbachbea]

1, 3, 9, 11?

OH, thank you very much!!!!

Meta OC Question

What inspired you to create your oc?

Depends on the OC, but there's two reasons at the start of all my OC endeavours in the past, which also intertwine:

I've always been a very creative kid with adhd that makes her daydream all day long, so I've been plagued by visions that needed a creative outlet & writing was the choice.

Since I wrote since elementary school, whenever I liked another piece of media, I'd express it by writing fanfiction, which would usually involve OCs. I'd often spin so hard and so fast out of control that I would make up a whole batch of OCs, often together with friends, who'd interact with the main cast and story, but also spin off into their own storylines.

These days, where I only make OCs and write mostly for my Hetalia Human AU (which is 10% Fanfic, but 90% Orig Fic): The mainer characters come to me because I am plagued by visions and constantly inspired by real life. I have over 250 named characters in this AU, PLEASE stop me from making more. Went to Romania for Erasmus for a week and came back with an OC concept that could have such a dysfunctional and toxic queer romance with one of my underdeveloped Hungarian OCs. I need to be stopped.

However, once mainer characters are established, OCs related to them spring up out of necessity or because I am like 'You know what I didn't do yet and would be fun in relation to these new bitches and also the old bitches?'. OC creation never happens in a vacuum, I am all about how they add to the world I created for the past 10 years and could interact with its inhabitants.

3. What is the origin of the character's name?

Used to go on babynaming sites and look at the most popular options, which is why all my Irish mainer characters have English names (RIP). These days I like to do some research on the cultural background they come from and also take inspiration from public figures from their country/region/city. However, once that is done I usually just visit Behind the Name and spend 15 minutes browsing, talking with friends about options, ignoring their feedback and then choose a name by closing my eyes and throwing a dart at the PC. I do consider nominative determinism to a degree, but I'll tell myself that the parents who named the kid couldn't have known what they will grow up to be and I'll also get used to any name.

I also love to use names I encountered in life, too! Like old classmates or family names of friends!

9. In a group dynamic, what kind of role does the oc usually fill? Are they a worry wart? A troublemaker? The straight man?

I LOVE GROUP DYNAMICS AND I HAVE SOOOO MANY OF THEM. Let's take the Chaos Seven, aka Team Ireland + Soph and Team Sicily as an example.

Team Ireland shares one collective braincell. Paddy, who's twice as old as Harry and Charlie, is its keeper about 40% of the time. Since he helped raise Harry since he was six, is a father figure to Charlie and helped raise Sophie since she was born, he's the Guardian figure of the Group. Hashtag Daddy Paddy. However, he's also a bastard like his own kids, so while he tries to be a good influence, he's not exactly the voice of reason. Just hopelessly devoted to the three and wants to ensure that they don't make choices they will regret without return.

Charlie is the social butterfly, or at least the one who's the most willing to engage in diplomacy and also enjoys working people the most. Do not let that fool you, half of the European underground wants to punch his teeth in for being endlessly annoying, but the other half wants to either fuck him or keep him as a purse dog. He and Harry are brother's from another mother and when Harry is too stubborn and fatalistic to consider anyone outside of himself, Charlie will pick up the slack and care for him and their goals. To Soph, he's the big brother figure with whom she can discuss personal affairs that she feels Harry and Paddy are too close and guardian-like for comfort to discuss with.

Harry's the driving force that inspires the others, since if he is hellbent on something, he'll pull through with it and won't let anyone push him around. He bickers all day long with the rest (especially Charlie, Soph and Harry do nothing but pick on each other), but is also always there to root for the others and take risks on their behalf. Probably the biggest troublemaker, but since Team Ireland as a whole is nothing but troublemakers, it's a bit unfair to single him out. He's got an unmatched love for pranks, though!

Soph is the nestling, the little darling of the family. All the others care for her, and as she grows up, she takes more and more after her brother, for better and for worse. Being Harry's little sister, the two are especially close, but she worries and cares for all three of them, as they do for her. When she's with the other three, she's a troublemaker who's not gonna let anyone push her or her family around, much like Harry.

Michele ... he is the leader and the voice of reason in Team Sicily, the one who raised the twins Marco and Lorenzo together with his mother. Since Marco and Lorenzo look up to him, he's also their guardian figure and tries to be as good an influence as he can - he's also constantly herding cats with these two mischievous guys.

Marco and Lorenzo share their creativity and their analytical thinking, as well as their love for mischief. They're definitely troublemakers, but at the same time problem solvers extraordinaire. And while their devotion to Michele is blind to a degree, they also unite in pulling him back onto the rug at times. It's not often that they need to play the straight man and they aren't good at that role with anyone but Michele, but they can do it.

11. What is your least favorite trait regarding your oc?

I mean it is an Organized Crime AU, so for most it gotta be, among others, the uhhhh ability to justify the horrors to themselves.

But that aside. I don't really think in favourite and not-favourite, since an interplay of traits is what makes OCs so close to actual humans and simply fun as literary constructs.

If I was held at gunpoint, though - That Hugo is so persistent in his quest to be liked/loved/the best that he can't take no for an answer in the long run, to his own detriment and everyone else's. That SK, aka Sri Kadek, is so stubborn in her perceived role as being the fixer of the family that she won't consider someone else's motivation for how they treat her could be genuinely out of caring for her. And most of the OCs are assholes, again because of the circumstances and I am a messy bitch who loves drama, but the Arora twins (Frej and Freja) take the objectification and the prioritization of their entertainment a little bit far even for this crowd. (... but also, that does make them very very sexy <3).

[reireichu]

Pls tell the outline of the story y'all are planning!!!Can y'all add another twist, Will thinks Hannibal cheated on him with Sophie because he is insecure af. So he hooks up and gets into relationship with another rich Woman(Angelina Jolie), a woman who has aspd like Hannibal and is extremely intelligent like him, and Will leaves Hannibal. So Hannibal tries to have another baby by another woman(Haley Bennett) to keep Will with him but Will won't listen. I want Hannibal to get on his knees and try his bestest to get Will back. Also Turns out Angelina is Sophie's psychopathic older sister who was sent to orphanage by her mother before Sophie was born. Then Angelina takes the baby from Sophie forcefully through goons, so that her and Will can raise the baby together and tries to make Sophie's life a hell. So now Hannibal and Sophie partner up to get Will and the baby back respectively from the clutches of Sophie's psychopathic sister. 😭😭😭😭

Hello anonie!

Currently I don’t know if there actually are plans for a full story. I am considering the idea of it, mainly because I have a certain fondness for the Ana!character aka Sophie Devereaux who has her own messed up history as well and I firmly believe that I wrote her into the wrong fandom and genre and that she was Hannigram coded from the start.

@suchawrathfullamb has the best meta headcanons on Hannigram, especially when faced with the psychological challenges of parenting/trauma that comes with being a parent or having a child when traumatised for these two, and that’s really what went rattling around in my brain when I thought it all up.

Soph (aka Ana!OC) unfortunately does not have an older sister 😭

[sophistopheles]

Here’s Why Franmaya Works

As one of my favourite ships, I have to admit that Franziska and Maya as a pairing is a little bit obscure. It has plenty of shippers, but taking the games at face value, nothing jumps out at you to make you think “oh, they might be a potential couple”.

But upon closer examination, there really is some potential there! Here’s why.

1. Maya’s Canonical Admiration for Franziska

In 2-2, Maya is amazed at how Fran’s done so much while being the same age as her; this ties more into her own feelings of uselessness, but sets up a scenario where she genuinely admires Franziska.

This comes out in the anime too, where she expresses sympathy for Franziska “fighting all alone in America”.

Although Franziska does everything she can to look “perfect”, deep down she’s quite insecure about her role as von Karma’s heir. Someone who supports and cheers for her unconditionally would be really good for her!

Additionally, if you present Fran’s profile to Maya in Big Top, she says that if Franziska wasn’t so mean, she thinks they would get along quite well- and given that Fran’s been quietly undergoing that development since JfA, she and Maya could probably grow close given the opportunity.

(More under the cut!)

2. Franziska’s Canonical Soft Spot for Maya

The most obvious example of this is in 3-5, where she stays up all night at the freezing cold Inner Sanctum, trying to break the trick locks with Iris. Ostensibly Franziska shouldn’t have any further investment in the case; she doesn’t owe anything to Phoenix or Maya, and was presumably called away from her other responsibilities to help Edgeworth out, but she still puts herself through the discomfort and hassle of solving the locks for a whole day and night so that she can guarantee Maya’s safety and help put the case to rest.

Another, often overlooked moment is in the case’s denouement, where Franziska is so dismayed by Maya glaring at her that she apologises (to Larry, of all people), and agrees to model for his picture book- and it’s confirmed she went all the way through with it in SoJ!

The anime gets in on this too, with Franziska finding Pearl in Hazakura and taking her back to Maya & the gang in the courthouse. Plus, just look at how fond her expression is:

Not to mention this cute little 4koma showing Franziska getting all flustered over Maya calling her her friend (credit to pastecola on twitter):

3. Their Shared Burdens and their Narrative Parallels

Despite acting so differently, the struggles that Maya and Franziska go through are incredibly similar: both of them are the heirs to a dysfunctional and heavy legacy, Franziska feeling pressured by her father’s crimes and the drive to be perfect and Maya having to be responsible for Kurain Village when she comes of age, struggling to deal with Morgan’s jealousy and impossible expectations, as well as the village’s ruined reputation. 

They both undergo great tragedy: Franziska loses the father she deeply admired, and is confronted with the harsh reality that he was never perfect, and (although she never truly believes Miles is dead) loses her brother, in a sense; Maya loses her sister Mia and even gets accused of her murder, as well as losing her mother- twice.

The way they deal with it is very different, but they undeniably have similar life experiences, and can be considered as parallels to each other. They’re the same age; Maya even calls herself Phoenix’s “big sister” a few times in T&T, similarly to how Franziska calls Edgeworth her “little brother”. If they were to become close, they’d easily be able to empathise with and understand each other’s struggles. They’d both benefit: for Maya to be with someone like Franziska who will take her seriously and honestly admire her, helping her out of her insecurity, and for Franziska to be with someone like Maya who will encourage her to be more light-hearted and indulge in her mischievous streak from time to time, as well as being able to assure her that nobody is perfect and she deserves love anyway... It would be an ideal arrangement for the both of them.

4. Their “Opposites Attract” Dynamic

Despite having similar struggles and common life experiences, Franziska and Maya are totally different people. Franziska is serious, hardworking, intimidating and easily frustrated; Maya is light-hearted, more playful, approachable and gets depressed more often than she gets angry. Their flaws and strengths complement each other perfectly- Maya’s endless enthusiasm would encourage Franziska to let her hair down a little more, which in turn would help Maya see that nobody is flawless or untouchable and help ease her insecurities. Their personalities are complementary enough that they could easily rely on and improve each other, but not become dependent on each other.

And besides, the idea of Franziska frantically trying to appease Pearl in any way she can so that she’ll approve of Franziska is objectively hilarious. Plus they’re an excellent complement ship to Narumitsu!

It’s definitely not the most obvious pairing in the franchise, but it’s still a ship that has a lot going for it and could develop into a genuinely compelling romance with a lot more nuance and complexity than it first appears to have- it’s no wonder it’s achieved the recent popularity it has.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

[cicadangel]

i think about this a lot 

in this scene, asuka is talking to her eva unit, but i think she’s also talking about herself. asuka could see herself as a weapon-- after all, so much of her identity is based around being an eva pilot and defeating angels. the reason her sync rates were dropping was because of her emotions. also, the eva’s soul is her mother’s, who has caused asuka so much distress and contributes to her self loathing. if asuka was just a doll, just a weapon, then she wouldn’t have to worry about loneliness or insecurities or any of the other things that plague her. 

[reflection-s-of-stars]

Serious tlt question: would anyone be interested in reading a naberius fic I wrote?

[ashryverwithadragon]

My favourite little detail on Encanto is that one moment of foreshadowing that's so subtle people might miss it.

During "Waiting on a Miracle", Mirabel is freezing time and we explore her inner self and that's all well and pretty but there's this one tiny subtle moment where she sings:

"I am ready, Come on I'm ready!"

THAT'S when the miracle/vision is activated and here's why:

The fireworks that goes off right that moment is green. The pose is the same post she has in Bruno's vision.

In gif form:

And for reference, this is Bruno's vision:

Casita is always listening to the family, so when she finally listens to Mirabel saying she's ready, that's when she starts crumbling almost immediately after, showing her that something isn't right and that Mirabel's time has indeed come to shine.

I just love this tiny little foreshadowing moment. The combination of colour, body language and words is *chef's kiss*

[furiosophie]

i cannot stop thinking about your conception of the thranto relationship in postmortem. how you portray them as obsessed with each other, completely enmeshed, fucking lost without each other and yet how they think they're doing the right thing by giving the relationship up. it's really giving me medieval chivalric romance vibes / gothic romance vibes....i would be so curious just to read your meta thoughts on the two of them and the relationship and the character work you're doing in the fic.

okay i have no idea why my brain decided that today was the day it felt capable of answering this but here we go – buckle up this is so much longer than i had planned, i am sorry :’)

first of i think saying i’ve done actual character work would be too high a praise, i mostly have a lot of notes of gibberish with too many exclamation marks haha

that being said i think the best way i can explain how i see them is by is putting them into context with the other ship i’ve written a lot of – dinluke. and bear with me here if that’s not your cup of tea but essentially what it boils down to for me is the fact that at the core of both of these ships is them being something akin to soulmates. it’s that “there is no one who could ever see me as completely as you do” feeling, just that the pace is exactly reversed.

for dinluke it’s an instant, nearly violent “oh it’s you”, an “oh there is someone i want more than this supposed destiny i should be giving my life for”. and then the struggle comes as a “i can not be with you because i have to be sth else” and “i am too damaged to hold you”. they might get together in a week, it might take them years, but it’s always clear, like even when they don’t know, it’s always clear. the forces that keep them apart are mostly external (e.g. their respective destinies and their real, not just perceived, duty to their people).

for thranto on the other hand it’s not instant, it’s a reluctant “guess it has to be you” and then it’s over a decade of gradual slow realizations, like eli going from worrying about thrawn getting them killed at the academy to smiling to himself whenever thrawn makes faro play riddle me with him. 

they’re not falling in love, they're walking into love, slow and gradual, an endurance run until eventually they are so intertwined they end at “oh it’s always been you, it’s always going to be you”. 

they are so comfortable with each other they don’t even realize that there is no one else that can match them like they match each other. and so their struggle only comes once they have to separate and realize that they neither know who they are without the other, nor what they actually mean to each other bc it was all always unspoken and open for interpretation. so while shit happens around them the forces that keep them apart are mostly internal (e.g. things unspoken, the way they see themselves and their purpose and their worth).

[i did ofc dig deeper into this, under the cut]

moreover, both din and luke are very clear on who they are as individuals, or at least who they think they are supposed to be – the last jedi and the rightful mand’alor. that’s the whole point, they are these larger than life characters who carry an immense burden on their shoulders they don’t know what to do with. they are both on very lone individual paths (even within the rebels or covert) and are both used to being alone and fending for themselves. their struggle is not only to accept the roles/legacy thrust upon them but also to learn that it all becomes much easier when you accept help, and that it’s okay to allow the comfort of companionship rather than to run from it in fear they could cause hurt because of who they are. they need each other to grow as individuals.

thrawn and eli are, again, that in reverse. they start out as a unit, from the second they meet they are dependent on each other, thrawn literally tells eli “you hold my words in your hands” and eli remarks multiple times how his career and life are tied to thrawn’s. they spend well over a decade together in the navy, a system well known for stomping the individuality out of you, so all their individuality comes from each other – their habits, their schedule, how they wear their uniforms, the missions they go on and the memories they share. 

and it’s also interesting to note here how they have an obvious power imbalance when they meet – eli was a cadet back then, prob around eighteen or so, thrawn was at least a decade older and a fully fledged officer – but how at the same time they start out on even ground in a way thrawn didn’t with anyone, maybe not even thrass. bc even though thrawn has more experience he needs eli to navigate this new world for him, and even though eli does hold thrawn’s words in his hands he too seems to need him to thrive. they start out at the academy together and then subsequently work their way up the navy side by side.

eli essentially spends all of his adult life with thrawn, and in turn eli is the most stable relationship thrawn ever had in his life, bc yes, he had thrass and ar’alani and later samakro and thalias, but all of them were only ever at his side when time allowed, and with conditions, not 24/7 like eli is.

i think the way i put this in my notes for an unwritten part of postmortem pt3 illustrates all that well actually:

"The inhibitors, the way your bed is made, your schedule, you–" Thrawn hesitates. "You left space for me."

Eli looks away. "I wish I could say it was a conscious effort. But really it wasn't. It's just– It was fifteen years. That doesn't just go away. It's– all of these things, they're part of me." He looks up. "You're part of me."

and i’ve written a small thing for a twt prompt about thrawn having that exact realization when they’re older:

"You don't like tea."

Eli looks up and frowns, cup halfway to his lips. "I'm drinking tea right now, aren't I?"

Thrawn's eyes catch on the droplets of water sticking to Eli's skin, on his hair still damp from where he took a dip in the lake behind the ranch this morning.

"But you don't like it." 

"No," Eli concedes. "But I like drinking it." 

"Why?" 

Eli shrugs. "Because." 

"Because?" 

He huffs out a small laugh. "Because it's been thirty years. I got used to it." He smirks. "You got used to the amount of pillows I sleep with, didn't you?"

"I did," Thrawn admits, begrudgingly. 

"Prefere it even?" 

Thrawn thinks about the way Eli looks on all those pillows in the morning, how his skin contrasts the sheets like strokes of paint. "I do." 

"There you have it then," Eli smiles, looking back down at his questis.

"Does it ever bother you?" Thrawn asks when their cups are dry and Ool's midday sun starts creeping up on the ranch's patio. 

"Hm?" 

"That we're this intertwined." 

Eli looks up. "That I couldn't go anywhere in the galaxy and not be aware of the way you've changed me?" 

"Yes."

even if they wanted to go separate ways, they are irrevocably intertwined. when we finally get an outside pov of them in treason in form of ronan he describes them as “a circle of calm in the middle of the commotion” which i feel should tell you everything you need to know.

where dinluke fight against that instant feeling of being at ease with each other, thranto embrace it pretty quickly. like yeah, eli grumbles in the beginning and makes a big show of being angry that thrawn forced him to stay at his side, but eli is also a very unreliable narrator and all of that stands in juxtaposition to how fascinated he’s with thrawn from second one, and how he claims to want a simple life but is bored every second they’re not in immediate danger. 

it’s a bit hard to see when you’re first reading the books bc of how much of and unreliable a narrator eli is, but once you’re done with the whole series it becomes pretty apparent how perfect they fit with each other from the get go – i have a million examples of this but some small ones would be faro pointing out how eli is the only one who actually understands thrawn’s schemes, and thrawn telling thrass years earlier about how frustrating it is that no one ever does. 

like we meet eli as this entirely ordinary guy only to slowly realize oh wait he is a genius in his own right, and then get hit in the ascendancy books with how much of a missing piece he actually is for thrawn (the amount of annotations i have on those books that just say “eli would have known” or “eli would have done xyz”). 

like there is a reason thrawn only ever compares eli to nightswan, someone he’s obsessed with, and that he absolutely loses his mind the second eli is gone in rebels. as i said – intertwined. dependent. 

and they are not just missing pieces for each other, they are also eerily similar to each other, as we realize in the ascendancy books when we see young thrawn.

like one of my fav comparisons are these two scenes of them intimidating ppl without even raising their voices, like mind you both of them are pretty much the lowest ranking officers in these scenes, eli is an ensign reprimanding a captain:

thrawn ascendancy: chaos rising

thrawn (2017)

and i could make a whole different post for the “eli being an unreliable narrator” thing and how absolutely fascinating he is as a character, but i always keep coming back to wondering about what kind of gifted-kid bullshit happened to him as a kid, like i feel like he and thrawn dealt with a lot of the same issues of being “other” growing up but being unable to put a finger on it. i kinda explore that in postmortem, but it’s most clear in this scene from the borika interlude:

“I grew up near a lake just like this,” Eli says, his eyes fixed firmly on the stars. “I took Thrawn there, once. A long time ago. I spent so much time swimming in those waters growing up, but it never felt the same after that.” He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath that comes out remarkably steady. “I didn’t even know I never really belonged anywhere. Not until I met him.”

as i said, there is no one else who matches them like they match each other, no one else who’s been as much of a constant in their lives as each other.

which is why i think it’s so important that they do, eventually, go separate ways at the end of thrawn (2017) and learn who they are as individuals away from each other. where dinluke needs to allow themselves to be together to grow, thranto needs to allow themselves to be away from each other to do so. 

especially bc for most of their time together in canon they are trapped by the fact that their roles and goals are very clear cut – commander and subordinate in service of the imperial navy – which makes it very hard for them to admit or even acknowledge their feelings for each other. like even if one of them would admit it to themselves their framework does not allow them to act upon it (which is why i think there are so many sex pollen fics around for them), so you get deep devotion with everything being left unsaid. 

that’s where the chivalry aspect comes in i think – they show their love for each other through upholding their duty, that is the most overt form of affection they can show. which is also why “good day lieutenant vanto” hurts so much bc eli defecting is his ultimate show of affection, it’s his ultimate “i pledge to uphold my duty to you, not the empire”. it’s basically a declaration of love, and so ofc is thrawn sending him away to protect him. but still, unsaid, unsure. conflict. 

[as a side note it’s also very interesting how din and luke both rebel against and have to come to accept their destiny and become comfortable with it, while thrawn and eli are both very comfortable with and set in their convictions, and have to be knocked down forcefully (purrgil, send to an alien military and into an impending civil war) to re-evaluate them.]

and ofc they find back to each other eventually, bc they are quite literally meant for each other, but it has to be bc they want to be at each other's side, not bc they are forced to or dependent on each other (especially bc thrawn did very much take eli’s choice away in the beginning, so it’s important that eli takes that step himself, love the way @amukmuk handles this for example, always with explicit consent and clear boundaries).

i am sure i’m forgetting crucial parts so if you want me to elaborate on anything lmk but yeah, those are my two cents i’d say, hope that answers that question?

[sophsun1]

No other episode is guaranteed to make me ugly sob within seconds than brian's father's death. god, i relate to it and brian so fucking much and gale's performance throughout and at the end always, always breaks me in half. The thing that pisses me off is people's reactions to children of abusive parents. You see it in the episode and in life in general wherein you're almost guaranteed to hear a version of "I'm sure they loved you in their own way/they didn't know how to show it/they had a bad childhood themselves/how the child should be the bigger person and forgive them/the classic, but! they! were! still! your! mother/father!"

As if just because you were born through no choice of your own that you end up owing them, you have to constantly forgive and forget, having to be the parental figure over and over and it fucking sucks.

What I appreciate about this episode is the writers actually show the two sides to the reality of being that child. It feels so human and relatable and I'm not just watching another episode of my favourite show, but I can look at it and say fuck, that's me I have felt that. On the one hand, you have people like Michael and Justin who comment regardless of what Brian's father did and how he treated him he was still his dad and it trumped any feelings of hurt Brian had over it. The simple "blood is thicker than water" ideology that as his father it gave him the power to be respected and Brian should wave away any wrong he did. How quickly people want to brush off any feelings of ill will when a person dies, how they become immortalised as someone who never did a thing wrong. How quick they forget.

We see versions of this in relation to Brian in the show and I hate it. For example when Brian first finds out that his father is sick and Debbie encourages him to tell him he's gay, more or less putting the burden on Brian and insinuating he owed his dad this part of himself (what the fuck!) and what happens? His father says he wishes Brian was the one who was dying. When his mother finds out he's gay and he's putting on a front at Woody's telling the guys how she was horrified by it and him but he doesn't care, fuck her. Michael pipes up saying that maybe she will come around in time, as if anytime Brian expressed hurt and anger towards his abusers they could never just accept it and let him have those feelings it always had to be countered in some way. I guess some part of it is when you come from a loving home either as the child or parent it's very difficult to understand the inner workings of the life of abusive parents and the impact on their kids. Not forgetting Debbie taking it upon herself to tell Joan that Brian had cancer!!!

I love that they didn't shy away from the other side, the side that's not deemed as maybe socially correct and you should keep that stuff behind closed doors. But I completely sympathise, agree and relate to Brian's behaviour how he refused to bow down to everyone's expectations of how he should grieve because they felt he wasn't doing it the right way. Michael deducing that just because Claire was sobbing like a demented banshee that meant she was obviously feeling it so much worse than Brian who hadn't shed a tear. In reality Brian told him that his father hated her. Yet Brian who was openly abused by them, always tried hard to be respectful and show care for them both in spite of what they did, which again is so relatable as a child of that.

I cheered him getting to tell the story of how his dad wanted him aborted, how he continued to go to Babylon and fuck around, that was his grieving process it might not have been what Michael thought was right and proper but it was his way.

The poignancy of him getting a do over of the joy of hitting a strike with Michael as kids, now as an adult and giving zero fucks and getting the celebration he was robbed of! The haunting finale with the bowling ball down the alley, the sombre so long Jack, and then finally on his terms releasing some of the burden, letting the tears flow.

Special mention to my two favourite lines of dialogue in the episode - "If you don't earn respect when you're alive, you don't deserve it when you're dead" and "Can you imagine growing up in that house, how did he ever survive? Who's to say he did?"

[daddy-ul]

very interesting… i take bleeding as almost a challenge… I take the leash, come make me pure, I dare the world to try and fix me and MY mess, my thorns. but also it very much fits in the internal, cant stop to save my soul, this thorn in my side.....

That's super true!!

To me it stems from the use that James does of the pronouns when he writes lyrics. Like how he uses two different types of "you", but that's a topic for another day.

Now that you pointed it out, it could be totally be read as a challenge and it would be a super visceral cover if someone sang it heavily like that, sang it like a taunting.

For me it has always been about what you do to yourself... Both for good and for bad.

There is "I" and there is "it". Then the it in the second screen is different than the it in the first. You have a thorn and a tree, external. Then... It's revealed that the "I" is the "it", and it becomes and imperative "(you) come make me pure", and the you is the leech/beast who should purify you.... Except it = I. So it's still me. I should come and purify me, i should bleed me a cure, c'mon, why i don't do it? ... Or "c'mon it's the time to do it! To cleanse me by myself, to dig to something better, even if it's digging through my own flesh".

To me it's a clearly self centered song, and not in a bad way! I love it and it should be self centered, bc everything develops and it is set inside.

.... Sorry abt this, it's just that I've written a lot of literary analysis on this song over the years djsnsnsns so i have too many opinions. Even tho I've never contemplated the challenging pov.... That now I kind of want? Please mr Hetfield? Maybe for awmh3? Could you sing it tauting us all??