#sorry but if you hate pb for being a 'psychopath' you truly just hate women being diverse

[irl-pinkgirl]

saw some heinous takes today and have something to say:

if you think princess bubblegum is a 'psychopathic dictator'- but every other morally grey adventure time character was redeemed by the end of the show and is now perfect- you are, in fact, bad at character arc analysis and/or just hate that a feminine character can be or was anything other than 'uwu best girl'

[overwhelmsion]

Oooooooh what did you think about little women 2019? I had some big likes and big dislikes about it myself (also @ me in the post so I can find ur reply!) tumblr so annoying to navigate sometimes

my THOUGHTS are PLENTY milady @when-did-this-become-difficult

I did not like it.

my main gripe is the timeline... not using a LINEAR timeline is the WORST "twist" for this type of story like... the whole POINT of the Little Women story is seeing them go from girls to young women to women. The flashback bullshit detracted and muddled so much. Minus a million points for that.

Second, the casting. This is gonna be long.

Saoirse Ronan could have been the perfect Jo. Could have!!!!!! Was not. I hold Greta directly responsible for this. And it has been literally forever since I read the book so I don't remember how her storyline actually went but some of the things that Jo did in this movie had me like... "Would she tho?" The other thing is Timothee Chalamet. See, those two LOOK perfect together. He looks younger than Florence Pugh, who was probably pitch perfect as grown up Amy and who unfortunately reads and sounds older to me. Florence is like, what, 22? Her face and voice give me 36. Sorry it just does. And Timmy boy reads like a teenager so them together was NOT good. Jo and Laurie need a good contrast. I would have swapped the actors of this movie with the PBS adaptation from 2017 and pair Timmy with Maya Hawke and have our future "Prince Eric" Jonah Hauer-King play Laurie to Saoirse's Jo. Now THAT would have been interesting.

The hardest thing to sell with any Little Women adaptation is ALWAYS going to be Laurie and Amy's romantic relationship. The 1994 version failed, partly due to the actors. This movie tried much harder but you're still left grasping for more. One of the things I liked best was how we're introduced to Amy and Laurie, with Amy being so excited and practically jumping off the carriage and Laurie taken so aback but pleasantly surprised. Their chemistry was ON that day on set. And at the beginning of the movie I thought, bold move, introducing these 2 couples straightaway, it would certainly help the audience swallow Lamy (I'm a genius). Also aging up Amy so that she's 13 in the flashbacks and 20 when she marries Laurie certainly helps. BUT young Amy is a fail. Florence tried, but just making her voice more high pitched and squealing and talking fast and making pouty faces doesn't erase the fact that she looks almost 40. It's unsellable.

Then the movie makes it first sin. It introduces us to married Meg and John Brooke, and it assumes we know this story!!!! Otherwise you're in the movie theatre going what?? who is this guy??? Remakes NEED to still explain the story. I was also very displeased with the 1994 version because it does not feature one of my very favorite moments in the whole book which is Aunt March pulling a Lady DeBourgh on Meg and telling her she cannot marry John Brooke and Meg going "I wasn't going to??? but thanks for your unnecessary opinion" and Aunt March going SERIOUSLY I FORBID YOU FROM MARRYING John Brooke and Meg going "Bitch now I'm gonna!! The fuck" and reverse psychologying that marriage into happening like... Chef's kiss, truly. Meg and John's is such a behind the scenes relationship and I always loved it and I HATED what Greta did to their relationship here. Meg had valid points but she would NEVER TALK LIKE THAT and their make-up would never be that basic and John is a fluff ball and Emma Watson playing the haughty version of Meg is a NOPE from me.

Pacing was awful!!! I was bored!!!!!!!! Almost every significant moment falls flat and I blame it on the writing and directing. Meg being bimboed out, Jo discovering Amy burned her book, Amy falling in the ice and almost dying, their dad coming home for christmas, Beth almost dying, Beth dying, Amy going to Europe instead of Jo, etc.. there was no nuance, there was no pace, dialogue was rushed most of the time for... impact??? To show emotion???? How and WHY do you rush through the "my hands are empty" "no they're not." Whatever the direct opposite of galaxy brain is, that's what that exchange was.

Laura Dern played Marmee too cheerfully, too saintly; Meryl Streep added nothing to the character, and having the guy who played Saul Goodman on Breaking Bad play the girl's father was... a choice. Also, how do you cast Eliza Scanlon and have her do NOTHING as well, like, anyone who's seen Sharp Objects knows what this girl is capable of and YET greta had her play a red-headed Beth for NO REASON. Like Eliza played her just fine but Claire Danes got a lot more to do with the script like... Greta you're not a screenwriter so just stop trying. Also IT MUST BE MENTIONED each sister had legit a different hair color????? Saorise and Eliza look too much alike so greta couldnt have anyone confuse them hence she had to make Beth a literal fucking REDHEAD????? stupid.

Timmy boy looks like a psychopath to me like his "acting" can be okay at times but otherwise he's a red flag on legs.

Friedrich.... first off he's supposed to be older like, that actor was, what? 27, 28 tops???? And the romantic relationship with Jo was not developed, shown, felt, at all???? I HATED Jo's rant at him when he said her writing wasn't good, it went too long and the dude doesn't say anything else??? And he is somehow in love with her, and months (years???) go by with absolutely no contact between them but he shows up and we're supposed to believe these people are ready to commit to each other? Oh wait he plays the piano *LiKe BeTh* FETCH THE FUCKING CARRIAGES. Exhausting.

I think Greta banked on people having already known the story and bringing their OWN feelings and emotions to it to supplement the film like, the film itself provided so little emotion, so little impact. She thought she wouldn't have to work for it. WRONG, LADY.