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#sorry folks 🙏 it is not real
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/r/relationships
My (32m) husband (30m) keeps saying he isnt gay. We've been married for five years. Help?
We met when i was working as a freelance writer. He was one of my regular readers, and he hated my writing so much that he paid me to move in with him (dont ask, it's complicated) so that he can edit my stuff. To his credit my work has gotten a lot better since then, but that also might have had to do with regular food & the lack of rent. Anyway we started making out like 3 months in. things clearly escalated and now we're married and we have 2 cats.
For like a year after I moved in he kept on saying that he was straight. Since we were having sex I kind of thought he was joking? Or that he at least stopped thinking he was straight when he introduced me as his partner to his family. He stopped bringing it up at some point anyway, and i figured it didnt matter after we got married. Only recently i brought up how he used to think he's straight and he told me HE STILL IS. How the fuck does that make any sense? Who can be straight after nearly 10 years of monogamous dicking?? I've never even heard him call a woman attractive!!! He is CONSTANTLY telling me about some new hot dudes he's seen!!
How do I convince my husband that he's probably not straight?
Edit: stop calling me fake i WISH i were joking but he is very serious about this. i asked if he thought i was attractive, and he said of course he does. i thought that was a "gotcha" moment but he said that because the protagonist of my novel is a self-insert, and that i described him as the most attractive man ever, my husband would obviously be attracted to me? because of novel protagonist logic?? i literally do not understand
Edit 2: Okay, i've tried some of the (ACTUAL) suggestions people left. I printed out pictures of "hot" people, men and women, and asked him to sort into a Hot and Not Hot pile. Most of the men were deemed Attractive and all the women (+some men) were deemed Not. i asked him what that means. i can't remember his exact logic but i think it boils down to the fact that he thinks all of his opinions are actually objective fact. i guess it's nice that he thinks I'm objectively hot. i spoke with his siblings, they all agree that he's absolutely gay, and they talked to him individually but he's still telling me he's straight.
Edit 3: i was going to ignore all those comments but you ASSHOLES won't leave it alone. YES, WE MET BECAUSE I WAS A NOVELIST AND HE HATED MY BOOK. He was NOT normal about it. i don't know what else to tell you. He's a closeted rich kid (as some of you had guessed already) and i guess he just yearned for the touch of a man so hard that i had to marry him. Whatever. it was our anniversary yesterday and he said "no homo" when he gave me flowers because i guess i was too insistent about him being gay. he was kind of joking but definitely not entirely.
Edit 4: some of you have guessed my pen name?? how??? A few others have even guessed my husband's username. Absolutely insane. I didnt even give that much info. He still says he's straight btw. Honestly i've kind of given up on changing his mind, but i did direct him to some queer websites a couple people suggested, so maybe reading more about internalized homophobia will cure him? It's actually stopped being funny and now I'm worried for his mental health, so I'm really hoping that personal stories he can actually relate to might do something.
Edit ??: you've fucking done it guys. he found this post. my sweet darling husband yelled at me for 5 minutes. those websites must've worked though, because he can easily go on for 20 minutes if he actually cared, and all the replies people left maybe helped a bit too. he actually apologized to me at the end!! can you believe that??? if you want to see him in all his glory he's the jerk with all the awards and upvotes in the comments here. you will definitely recognize him for a stephen king antagonist when you see him.
Edit 6: our cats are named Crybaby and Little Fucker 😊
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jujutsubaby · 24 days
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Hiiii! I would like have a coffee at the Heaven and Earth cafe! If possible, could I get a mocha latte with soy milk and a kouign amann on the side? Pretty please and thank you 🙏
a/n: thank you for your ask and for participating 🥹 i appreciate it sooo much and i love your order! chocolate + buttery pastries are to die for 😇
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✨ WELCOME TO CAFE HEAVEN & EARTH ! ✨
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🤍 PAIRING. yuta
🤍 WORD COUNT. 1.4k (sorry anon i got too carried away with this lol)
ugh, you only had 15 minutes to quickly grab your drink and a bite to eat before your 8 AM stats lecture with the notoriously strict professor kusakabe. yeah, sure you could’ve probably avoided this if you had just slept at a normal time, but alas, you were hell bent on finishing one more episode of your favorite trashy real-estate focused reality tv show. but no worries, cafe heaven & earth is known for its efficiency and speed.
that’s what you thought to yourself 8 minutes ago, when you thought you would be out of there by now. instead, right after you gave your order, you noticed the long line of people waiting for their orders. you try your best to overhear their conversations so as to better understand what was happening
“i heard there’s a disturbance in the kitchen.” “who told you that?” “i dunno, some guy with white hair came out and said it?” crap. you don’t have time for this. you frantically look at your watch, as the aforementioned white haired man came out of the kitchen nonchalantly and made an announcement. “sorry folks, there’s gonna be a delay on everyone’s orders due to a disturbance in the kitchen.”
everyone murmurs but no one says anything, but you’ve had enough. “what’s the disturbance? how long will this take? i’m in a bit of a hurry, actually.” the white haired man takes a quick glance at you and says “there’s just a disturbance. thanks.”
dumbfounded, you’re not even sure how to respond to…his lack of response? you pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to figure out if it was worth just leaving right now and risking the entire class hearing your stomach rumble, or getting chewed out by professor kusakabe. your thoughts are interrupted by a soft voice from beside you.
“running late?” your head shoots up, and you find that the owner of the voice is a young man around your age wearing crisp black jeans and a high-necked white sweater. you’re slightly annoyed. you don’t really have the time to chit chat with a stranger right now. “uh, yeah, kinda.” you say curtly. you notice that he’s a little taller than you, with gentle features befitting his polite voice. his black hair falls in his large dark blue eyes in neat curtains. most notably, though, you see prominent shadows underneath his eyes. he must also be a student.
“what class?”
“stats”
“shit, stats 153? with kusakabe?” he grimaces none too subtly.
your stomach drops. great, so you are gonna get chewed out for being late. “yeah. how fucked am i if i show up late?” he pretends to think before saying “well, depends. do you like having to explain in excruciating detail to the entire hall exactly what you were doing last night that made you late for an 8am? since that’s what he made us do when i had him last year.” hell no. there’s no way in hell you’re gonna tell anyone you were up until 2am watching selling sunset.
the white-haired man re-emerges at that moment with an order that looks mercifully familiar. “soy mocha and kouign-amann for…” you approach the pickup counter in anticipation. the employee raises a doubtful eyebrow at you before reading a name off the receipt in his hand. “...yuta?” the stranger who was just speaking with you steps in front of you and grabs his order, flashing an awkward apologetic grin at you.
as if this day couldn’t get stranger. “uh, that’s my order…” you say, but you’re not so confident anymore. “sorry, i think it’s mine. been ordering this ever since this place opened.”
“i’ve been ordering that ever since this place opened,” you say defiantly. you’re not sure if this dude is playing some joke on you or what, but you definitely don’t have time for it. 
“that’s interesting, but my name’s yuta,” he continues patiently, “so unless we also have the exact same name, i’m pretty sure this is mine this time.”
a quick glance at your watch – 5 minutes left. okay, plan aborted – people are just gonna have to deal with your noisy tummy today. “okay, well…” you’re not sure how to really say goodbye to him. “forget it. i’m just gonna get outta here. i’m late as it is…” you leave without glancing behind you as you speed walk to your lecture hall and it’s not until a couple seconds later you hear someone shouting behind you.
you turn to see…yuta? from the cafe? what’s he doing following you? oh god, is he a creep?! it suddenly occurs to your sleep-deprived mind that he might want to fight after you accidentally tried to steal his order, and you speed up.
“hey, wait! stop walking faster, geez! i’m trying to help you!” confused, you slow your pace, willing to hear him out. “what do you want?” you ask, wishing it didn’t come out as harshly as it did. 
“well, i was just wondering…y’know, seeing as we apparently have the exact same order and are both about to be late to our respective classes…” yuta clears his throat. “wanna share while we walk?”
you're skeptical, but the kouign-amann was looking so delectable in his hands that you had to double check you weren’t drooling. it didn’t help that your stomach chose that exact time to elicit a god awful noise begging for food. you acquiesce. “yeah, i’d…i’d actually really like that.” you flash him a thankful smile as you both walk to class.
“so…how come you’re running late? you seem like the type who’d have it all together,” you ask, trying to break up the silence with some small talk. you look up again at his eye bags. “up late studying, i bet?”
“hardly,” yuta answers sheepishly. “this show i’m hopelessly hooked on just dropped its new season on netflix…
you burst out laughing at the image of the polite, perfect yuta falling victim to a netflix binge. “no way, me too! what show? no, let me guess. black mirror or something?”
yuta looks at his feet and mumbles something that sounds an awful lot like selling sunset. no way. feeling just a tiny bit of sadistic glee at his embarrassment, you ask him to repeat himself.
“all right, all right! it was selling sunset! i just can’t stay away…i need to know what those ladies get up to!”
maybe it’s the way he’s blushing or your sleep deprivation, but something possesses you to reach out and pat his arm comfortingly. “don’t be ashamed,” you reassure. “only the greatest of intellectual minds can handle christine’s character arc.”
yuta gapes at you, before his eyes crinkle into a soft laugh. oh…he’s kinda cute, isn’t he…
you pass the rest of the walk discussing the off-the-rails drama of the new season as you alternate taking bites of sugary-sweet pastry and sips of mocha, and you find that you’re having a good enough time that you’re not even thinking about the reaming you’re due for in stats lecture.
soon enough, you’re outside your lecture hall, and it’s time to part ways. you sigh, knowing you’re not prepared to go in 10 minutes late. “well, this is me. right before i get my ass handed to me…”
“don’t worry, he always makes the assignments way harder than the actual tests” yuta reassures you with a bright smile. damn, he’s not kinda cute. he is cute.
“yeah, but stats just isn’t my best subject,” you say dejectedly. “i’m only taking it because i need to for my major but at this point, i dunno how i’m gonna pass the class without some divine intervention or a tutor or somethin’.” you hope yuta takes the hint.
“oh, yeah, well, if you want, i can…i can help you. i quite liked the class when i took it last year,” he says bashfully.
“really?” your eyes beam at him. “here, gimme your phone, i’ll text you about a study session, if you’re down?”
“yeah, of course!” yuta is doing an awful job of hiding the blush in his cheeks as you put your contact in his phone. “i’ll definitely need help come midterms.” you hand his phone back to him. “by the way, didn’t you say you have class? shouldn’t you…” you gesture at another lecture hall nearby yours, and he nervously scoffs.
“oh, yeah, i do, but it’s the one near northside.” northside? like the-other-side-of-campus northside? you’re confused as to why he’s even here right now. “wait, what? you’re gonna be so late for class! why did you even come here?”
yuta fidgets with his fingers, doing an awful job of maintaining eye contact with you. “it’s well…i dunno, i just thought maybe being a couple minutes late so i could share my kouign-amann with a cute girl might be worth it.”
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autistichalsin · 4 months
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Hello 🙏Big fan of your work! thank you for sharing with us your wholesome analysis content, can't get enough of it .I feel this to some extent to be another layer in his character :,) maybe i can't fully extend on why it would make sense but is this something? Sorry
I perceive Halsin as someone who, deep down, might feel unworthy but chooses not to express it. It seems that throughout his relationships he has carefully crafted his expressions, possibly out of a desire to avoid burdening someone he cares for with his inner struggles. The carefully chosen words and planned sentences might be a way for him to shield his own insecurities. While he outwardly promotes freedom in relationships, there's a suspicion that this stance might stem from a reluctance to express his true feelings of unworthiness, creating a facade of responsibility instead of authenticity.
In his pursuit of love, Halsin paradoxically insists on the potential for greater happiness with someone else, repeatedly emphasizing freedom in the relationship. It's as if he wants the love of his present relationship but hesitates to fully embrace it, perhaps until it becomes unmistakably clear that he is genuinely and deeply loved. Until then, his expressions may be veiled attempts to maintain a sense of control over his vulnerabilities, revealing his true desires only when he feels secure in the reciprocation of love.
Guyyyyyyys you're gonna make me blush!!! How am I at the point where I'm getting fanmail in my inbox now!!! *Kicking my feet and blushing*
I agree for sure that he tries to shield others from his own stuff. Maybe not out of a sense of unworthiness per se, or maybe it is. But he definitely doesn't feel like he should ask for the same emotional real estate that he gives to others.
However, I will politely say I don't agree with the rest of this. I don't think him being poly is a cover for any of his insecurities (nor does it stem from his traumas, I.E. in the Underdark). It is who he is, especially as a wood elf; polyamory is the default in wood elf culture. (In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if the consent given by other characters, who otherwise want monogamy but make an exception for Halsin, is given on the basis that Halsin is a wood elf). The devnotes for the scene where Halsin explains his nature says "sincere. This is a core belief of his." Halsin is poly and traumatized, not poly because he's traumatized; Halsin is poly and struggling with asking for what he wants, not poly because he can't say what he wants.
The "you're all I want" line that usually gets picked as proof of him not being poly is, IMO, a poorly-written one- what he is trying to say there is that the player is all he wants at that moment, not forever. It isn't uncommon for poly folks to be in relationships with a single other person, not because they aren't poly anymore, but because there aren't any other poly partners around. That's what Halsin is getting at.
I hope this response doesn't put you off or anything! I appreciate your message very much. I just fundamentally can't get on board with any attempts to link Halsin's identity as a polyamorous person with trauma and/or emotional insecurity.
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reggieservices · 2 years
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Random idea, but how do you think the Bowers gang would react if their best friend, that was really close with all of them, suddenly started distancing themselves?
Yes I can and Yes I darn will >:]
Bowers Gang x GN!Reader
warnings: angst (obviously), drinking, just sadness really :(
Henry Bowers
∆ You guys had been best friends since 3rd grade
∆ You were his ride or die, and he was yours
∆ Thats why he got so confused when you suddenly blocked him out
∆ It started small, with not returning phone calls, and then ignoring him at school, then straight up not talking to him at all, ever
∆ He was so hurt
∆ He tried acting cool around other people, but he was being eaten up inside thinking "what did I do to drive them away?"
∆ at first he was angry, and would think about yelling at you and making you tell him what your deal was, but he was scared that would drive you away more
∆ He drifted away after too, but his heart would twinge everytime he saw you at school talking to someone else, and he still thinks about it late at night when hed reflecting on himself and his actions
Patrick Hockstetter
∆ It really depends how he views you
∆ If he thinks you're a "real person" like him, he'll go fucking insane
∆ Will shut himself away from the world, drink away his feelings, leave drunken messages to you all the time, some sad, some angry, some emotionless.
∆ Wont allow anyone near him again, and would despise you forever for "betraying him"
∆ Can't cope with anything anymore, just rots away and barely registers anyone else around him because "how could he let himself be so stupid to believe you wouldn't hurt him"
∆ Seriously messed him up, borderline catatonia stuff
Vic Criss
∆ Doesnt understand why you did it
∆ From being close friends and talking to each other about everything, to being total strangers and not even looking at each other in the hallways
∆ He'd be lying if he said he didnt cry a few times
∆ He just wants to know what went so wrong he wishes he could just get you to talk to him again
∆ Would try talking to you multiple times again, hoping you were just going through a rough patch he could help you out with
∆ But you were a brick wall
∆ nothing seemed to be working so he just slipped away too, even though it hurt him like hell
Reggie Huggins
∆ tried pretending everything is alright infront of others, but people can tell you not hanging with him has changed him alot
∆ He's less likely to make jokes, doesnt have that sweet glimmer of happiness in his eyes
∆ His heart was crushed
∆ Tried forgetting about it and you, but that just made the feelings well up more and more
∆ tried calling you after you ghosted him, but stopped trying after a week or two, he doesnt want you to get madder at him for being annoying
∆ Overthinking so much, can't bear the stress
∆ Nothing helps, he just wishes you would talk to him again because theres nothing he wouldnt do to laugh and speak with you again
∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆
HI I'M BACK AT LEAST FOR A LITTLE WHILE sickness is getting better we r sigma today💪💪 enjoy, enjoy its kinda sad ik but i will be trying to finish more requests soon PLEASE i'm sorry for the hold up folks you'll be paid in due time good bye love you all sleep well🙏
~Reggieservices<3
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queer-toad · 2 months
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Hi! Im really sorry on sending this, i just hope im not overstepping any boundaries as I’m about to ask help which is very important right now :( my dog, Gizmo needs an urgent dental surgery. He is having a real hard time eating and I can't afford to pay the vet to help him so I'm reaching out to ask for help, I mean even if you can’t help monetarily, reblogging or sharing it would truly mean a lot. He is my therapy dog and my bestfriend, I am undergoing chemotherapy due to my leukemia and I cant do this without him. I have pinned the post on my blog, please try to also answer the ask privately as some people tend to get weird on this stuff. Please send us prayers, be safe. ♥️🙏
Answer privately about you trying to scam me? No I think not. I'm a petty bitch and you came into my house.
Anyways, folks, if you get asks like this, especially if they're from someone you don't know, they're always scams. Stay safe folks 💜
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Resident Magnus lover I'm so sorry but I'm so happy he's finally getting that dilf but dateable marriageable fics he deserves 😭 can I squeeze in a request too though I wanna see more fluff with him 🙏 Like asking him to join the community activities more like the flower dance, or he talks with the children on how light magic works, showing them a few harmless tricks and even playing with the junimos oh god it's making me weak in the knees thinking about it already
What fic? Can you link where to read it, am I missing something? 👀 Ok, anyway...
Here are a couple of my headcanons about Magnus, his Farmer, and trying to get into the Pelican Town community. Enjoy dear anon 😊
Magnus didn't mind the sidelong glances of the Valley folk at the Flower Dance, he looked rather unusual, especially in formal attire and without his usual robes. But the dance with his s/o made the old wizard forget about everything in the world. And let those present not be surprised that some kind of fireflies unknown to man fly at the festival. It turned out even more beautiful.
Merciful Yoba, Lewis, stop looking at Magnus like that! What do you mean, decided to poison them in the Luau? This is completely disrespectful. The golden quality Super Cucumber is the perfect ingredient for a soup pot. The Farmer will confirm this, they themselves have put this thing in the soup for more than a year.
Magnus will definitely ask his Farmer s/o for help in communicating with Junimo, as his partner has been successful in this much faster. He never thought that farmed sweet starfruits would be the key to communication. On the other hand, everyone loves a treat.
Only now, the apple-like creatures started tugging at the wizard's robes and asking him to play with them. Looking at the Farmer, who was showing with all their appearance that "if you want to learn more about Junimo - play with them a little", they beat off Magnus's last hope for the opportunity to communicate calmly. He just hopes he doesn't look silly.
Gus was one of the first to accept the Farmer's partner without prejudice, and therefore, when he saw Magnus and the Farmer in the Saloon, he prepared frog legs for the wizard according to a special recipe. Magnus was extremely surprised by the skill of the owner of the Saloon and how tasty the dish turned out, jokingly asking Gus if he was also a magician by chance, since he "makes magic in the kitchen." The Farmer is incredibly happy that slowly but surely, Magnus is joining the Pelican Town community.
Perhaps Spirit's Eve is the only day of the year when Magnus will not only show all his magic in action when creating a labyrinth, but will also be able to show a couple of light magic spells for children who have been asking "uncle wizard to show tricks" for half an hour. Well, as long as it's safe, why not Besides, at least on this day adults will not be afraid of his magic.
Don't ask how Magnus on Feast of the Winter Star made the tree shimmer with decorative lights so beautifully that it's not like flashlights are blinking, but real gems are shining. And, without electricity. He has his secrets, plus he have to stay in shape and surprise his Farmer s/o, who looks at his magic spells with admiration.
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the-ark-awaits · 4 months
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hi. sorry for sending this ask. I know it might inappropriate but we badly needed some help right and i hope you’d consider .. its for our cat who needs immediate care, you can find the post in my blog as i pinned it. Hoping you’d be so kind to boost/share to help us alleviate the cost as it would tremendously help us a lot. if you can, pls try to answer this privately as some people might i pressure you to do so.. i know its weird, just wanted to avoid it if possible. Thanks a lot, and sorry again for being so direct. 🙏
Alright folks, heres really good example of a classic tumblr scam
if you were to click on this url youd see theyd gone through some hoops to look legit. they have a real title, a realistic bio, and posts!
however, upon further inspection, you will see that this is the entirety of their post history. all reblogged within the past DAY
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all posts are fairly generic and have nothing to do with the stated interests in the bio. likely all just reblogged from the trending and for you tabs. hell, 4 of them are the 'omg help my cat' scam post.
they are also my most recent follower when looking at the list.
now onto the post itself, youll see they try some tactics like 'im sorry ik this is inappropriate' to play on people to reassure them that its ok. a lot of real actual donation posts start with folks apologizing bc of various reasons, though notably none ever seem to start with apologizing for being inappropriate. bc the person is embarrassed? yeah that happens (and never feel embarrassed to ask for help folks)
you see they state the cat needs immediate care, trying to push for people to give more quickly. they also ask you to reblog the pinned post, NOT post this ask. they even ask for this ask to be posted privately, in hopes people dont see it as a scam. heres a reminder folks. if someone you dont know who only recently followed you comes up in your dms or askbox asking for a boost or donation like this, it is ALWAYS a scam. real people do not tend to come up to strangers asking for money online. donation posts on tumblr are spread from your friends to their friends to their friends via natural reblog chains, not like this. if youre sus of a blog, check their archive to see when they started posting. if its within the past few days, they are not real.
reminder! THERE IS NO CAT. dont feel bad when you get an ask like this, you can block and report with a clear mind knowing there is no cat.
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horsefreek151 · 2 months
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Hi! Im really sorry on sending this, i just hope im not overstepping any boundaries as I’m about to ask help which is very important right now :( my dog, Gizmo needs an urgent dental surgery. He is having a real hard time eating and I can't afford to pay the vet to help him so I'm reaching out to ask for help, I mean even if you can’t help monetarily, reblogging or sharing it would truly mean a lot. He is my therapy dog and my bestfriend, I am undergoing chemotherapy due to my leukemia and I cant do this without him. I have pinned the post on my blog, please try to also answer the ask privately as some people tend to get weird on this stuff. Please send us prayers, be safe. ♥️🙏
Listen, I totally understand the need for fundraising, but do it through a reputable organization and ask people to donate to the vet, not to you. You can set up payment plans through vets specifically with a funding option. That way, nobody gets scammed, as often happens on social media. I saw you are having it paid through PayPal and not through the vet. That will get you labeled as a scam even if you aren't.
I legitimately have less than a grand to my name right now and barely enough savings for my own animals in an emergency. I wish you the best of luck if this is real! Recently having a 600$ kitten vet bill I know how hard this can be. ** This was indeed confirmed as a SCAM Stay safe out there folks**
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dork-industries · 1 year
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Yo :( I know this isn't the best time to ask for help but is it okay if you could pleaseee boost/share the post I did for my cat? I pinned it on my blog, if you have an extra time please do check it out. Im so sorry, i just dont know what else to do :(( hoping you'd consider to help just by even spreading the word. Please send me a msg to reply or answer the ask privately and I hope you're having an amazing day! 🙏
hey just a little warning for my fellow hellsite folk if you see a post like this (and get a ask regarding you asking to reblog it) i'm 90% sure this isn't a real person and is a complete and total scam
all of their posts are only a day old and i've gotten a message like this in the past with the same exact thing (cat with a illness of some sort needing money for vet bills, exact same format)
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dollsome-does-tumblr · 6 months
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OFMD 2.05 - "The Curse of the Seafaring Life" Thoughts - Part 1
Apparently I really got away from myself, because even my thoughts on this episode can't fit into one text post. So this is the general ensemble thoughts! Ed and Stede thoughts will come in the next post!
Under the cut! Spoilers aplenty!
2.05 - The Curse of the Seafaring Life
This episode in particular just felt so nice in that it was pretty low stakes (curse and allergic reaction aside, bwahaha) and sweet; just such a balm after that long, long, long, angsty, angsty, angsty hiatus! I found myself going, “Omg, I am truly just watching a sweet pirate comedy” during this episode and it was wonderful to feel.
Ed looking incredibly beautiful in his punishment burlap sack and cat collar with bell (Pete’s idea), lolololol. What a show! No other show has ever quite showed like this one! I love how Ed felt a lot like “I’m folding stuff, and that’s okay!” Ed again here. I think it’s always such a relief to him to have an excuse not to be Blackbeard. Especially after recently being more Blackbeard than he had ever been.
I loved the scenes with Ed and Fang so much – I was kind of nervous because there was such a long break between Ed getting in the boat with him and their next scene, and it had me like, “Oh God, is poor dear Fang finally gonna snap and do something to Ed (who admittedly deserves it)?” But no! I felt like this scene had a lot of echoes of Ed in the gravy boat with Hornigold (loved how the fog gave it sort of an otherworldly feeling!), and I loved the idea of Fang being sort of the antithesis Hornigold figure – he never had authority over Ed, he was someone Ed hurt, and his earnest communication with Ed about how Ed hurt him without knowing it really helped Ed to start seeing reality and his past more clearly. The fact that Ed’s apology to the whole crew was so, like, This Is How You Perform An Apology Without Saying Sorry 🙏, whereas he very easily and honestly said sorry to Fang, was such a poignant contrast. And the fact that Fang had let go of his anger at Ed, and they could just coexist in peace, even to the point where Fang felt safe sleeping next to him, was so moving. Also, Fang making Ed aware of his discomfort of being alone with himself and his need to fill the silence!!!!! (Also, the post-credits scene was so freaking adorable, omg. Oh, Ed! Your mind! I love how that kind of felt like Flight of the Conchords-level silly sweetness.)
The whole curse plot was so much fun, and it was hilarious and grand to get to see a bit of bitchy obnoxious Stede again, bwahaha. He’s dying of outfit deprivation, okay! (And I’m dying to know if Ed cleared out the auxiliary wardrobe or not. God, living in suspense like this!) I also loved Jim here; the two of them are always so funny pitted opposite each other.
Stede and Izzy, so much fun! Izzy telling Stede that he has no idea how he’s still alive due to his total lack of skills had me very, “That’s just because you haven’t met ME yet, Izzy.” (I guess there’s a reason that Stede Bonnet is one of my kindred spirit fictional folks.) Also, Izzy giving him the little ‘okay’ sign on the other ship toward the end; THE highest praise!!!!!
I find it fascinating that Ed and Izzy are coexisting on the ship now in a state of relative peace but also just presumably ignoring each other and pretending none of that happened. So awkward!!!!!
PETE AND LUCIUS ARE ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!! :’) I loved their scenes in this one – in particular, Pete’s line about Lucius always talking about how he nearly died but never talking about how he lived was so profound and a sentiment that’s going to stick with me. And Pete discovering all Lucius’s Ed-faced drawings, lolol! And of course the Pete’s-face-on-the-wall / proposal scene was just wonderful! (I loved how they were all goofy after the kiss, I thought that moment was so cute and funny and real-feeling.) Wedding bellsssss!!!!
The Lucius and Ed stuff was absolutely hysterical, ahahahahahaha! Ed’s grimace face after Lucius is so into the idea of pushing him off the ship will burn bright in my heart forever. And Lucius being so victorious and then promptly realizing that actually, it didn’t really help at all! Also, Ed being such a good sport about it was just delight itself.
Loved getting to see Izzy and Lucius have more of their weird intense chemistry, and Izzy being the one entering those interactions more confidently and Lucius being unsettled by it was such a fun role reversal. And Izzy working on carving the shark for the whole episode and giving it to Lucius at the end, ahhh! I’m so glad Lucius loves it.
I think there’s definitely something unhealthy – uh, duh – in all the traumatized pirates being like “Just move on, things are better now, tell yourself whatever you need to to keep moving forward, that’s how we do it!”. (Roach’s line about that being his first apology, omg.) But also, it’s true that getting hung up on the past is not good for you! I’m so curious to see if this is really sort of enough and if everyone can move on from this point, or if things are going to stay murky. It’s such a tricky balance between letting go and moving on vs. shoving stuff down and living in denial. Because, like, in a way, I think Lucius is right and his lack of piracy background is what’s allowing him to see things more clearly! Anyway. We’ll see how this goes! I like that it feels complicated, and the acknowledgement that humans tend to do what allows them to move forward in the least pain, rather than always making therapy-endorsed healthy choices.
Frenchie!!! My dear fellow peanut allergy sufferer! I kept saying, “Oh God, how can they get him some adrenaline? He needs an 18th century epipen! What if they gave him a ton of coffee? What if they gave him a ton of upper drugs or something??” And it was then that I realized that, despite having anaphylactic allergies all my life, I really don’t know how you deal with that sort of thing without an epipen. STAY AWAY FROM PEANUTS, FRENCHIE. THOSE LEGUMES CAN KILL YOU! (Weirdly touched by this show dropping the knowledge that a peanut is, in fact, not a nut, but a legume. I feel so seen.)
Lololol, Stede being like “Frenchie and Roach, my men of science!” and them being like, “YEP” and then immediately talking about the baking fairies and Stede being like, “... that’s yeast,” to absolutely no acknowledgement. That just tickled me. This show is so absolutely rich with funny little interactions.
I want WAY MORE inside details about this situation, but I really like the vibes of Olu + Jim + Archie being glued at the hip. So cute. Need to know more immediately! Need a relationship update! (I definitely miss Olu and Jim’s dynamic being more center-stage, like it was in the first season. Ugh, the things we lose from having the episode order filed down!)
Archie??? Snake cult???????
Part Two: Ed & Stede Thoughts HERE!
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sweetescapeartist · 9 months
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Don't you find it kind of funny how Gohan has his nose in his books and working all the time, Goku and Vegeta both go off training so much that Chi-Chi and Bulma complain about it, and Krillin is the only one ever consistently around and on Earth yet he never gets the whole "harem" scenario? I mean he's a major DILF, he turns 18 into a pile of goo without effort, he's got a job with flexible hours and can see all three of the others regularly... the porn scenario writes itself. But nada.
So true! The series itself sets Krillin up to be a harem protagonist, yet so many ppl choose to igone it. But as we've seen, some of us have been making efforts to create those porn scenarios. Random smut with Krillin is actually super easy due to the love he shows 18 to where she is completely enamored with him, his perverted tendencies, & frustrated wives of Saiyans who don't pay them enough attention.
I like to write the kind where there is a story to it cause I'm the kind of guy who reads hentai for the actual plot lol. But, honestly... The smut without a real plot for Krillin works just as well if not better due to the series itself setting up all the scenarios for us. I jist hope more folks begin to see the potential of fics & comics and such with Krillin as the lead.
I'm super sorry for not reply to this! 😣 I think this is from a year ago. I was going through some stuff at that time and my mind wasn't right. Thank you very much for the ask tho. 🙏
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helluvapurf · 4 months
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Been awhile since I did a tiermaker thingie and since we're nearing the end of the year of canon HB content, here's my current 2023 thoughts on the HB cast we got so far (with the most major/memorable characters imo).
(For anyone curious of my in-depth rank opinion thoughts below):
Top Faves/Red-Tier:
-Octavia Still my main fave from this show overall, and one that I'm just... SO sorry for what she had to endure in her young life ;-;. Stuck between two parents (who were basically forced to conceive her in their loveless, arranged marriage) pretty much at war now, continuously ignored by the one she looked up to the most as a child (aka Stolas), and even while still within her "moody goth" phase rn... she's still got that sense of an hopeful sweetheart who just wants to watch the stars, potentially learn magic, and even her lil fascination with the "gloomy" things in life (like taxidermy) just... idk, it really endeared her to me overtime ngl 🥺💜Wherever the story decides to take Via next, I just hope she'll get at least some form of a happy ending... for real q-q 🙏
-Fizzarolli Ahhh Fizzy-pop, the goofiest lil jester who won us all over with each new appearance of his~ 🥰 Having gone all that he has to keep pushing strong as a famous Hell icon, struggling to find his place in the world from the circus to the stage, amending things with his old buddy Blitz and now having the chance to forge his own path away from Mammon really made me wanna hug him by the end of it all~ 🥺. Honestly, at this point I'd be SO down for just a full-on Fizz spinoff if he's given us so much amazing content on his own 💕
-Blitz The main face of the series overall with his "chaotic ass-with-a-heart-of-gold" vibe; I honestly can't NOT love Blitz when it all comes down to it lol. He's a jerk, a businessman, a father, a (messy) lover, and never seems to give up when he's got a goal in-mind (even with the odds against him). Definitely has alot to answer for if Blitz is gonna truly change for the better long-term... but with how far he's come to make us laugh, cry, and celebrate the few milestones he's able to keep, I'd be happy to keep on wishing the best for Blitz as the true "Hell-of-a-Boss" 👏🔥
-Asmodeus The smooth-talking Embodiment of Lust with a blissful love life with Fizz, a powerful empire to run, and a fiery heart one wouldn't wanna mess with if pushed too far. What more could one ask in a power bf like him?~ ❤️‍🔥🥰
-Striker The OG cowboy baddie of the bunch, I'll never get enough of Striker and his sheer determination to kick everyone's ass lol. From his interactions with M&M and Blitz, it really feels like this guy got done dirty by life and Hell's inherent mistreatment towards Imps... going by his increasing bitter rage at "bluebloods"(+"lower" Imps associating with said rich-folk) whenever he pops up. And honestly... can't really blame him with what we know about certain "rich" folk as-is, soooo yee, keep it comin' Striker lol👌.
-Beezlebub As... awkwardly complicated as her design aesthetic was to get past at first (tho it has grown on me more btw), in terms of Bee's actual character I... honestly have no real complaints, she's a gem lol 💛. Only ever wanting to vibe, eat up and making sure everyone else has fun too, Bee really gives that "huggable bestie" vibe once you get to know her (and I'm sure Loona lowkey thought that too, even with her initial huffiness lol). Even if we'll probably never see Bee again 'cause of her celebrity VA status, I'll still vibe with her presence from the fandom to even more ep rewatches~ lol ✨
Love/Orange-Tier:
-Verosika A pretty-in-pink bad bitch who's proud to stake her claim in the idol world... yeah, she basically won me over already by her first appearance lol. Not to mention how she's among the rare few characters not afraid to call out Blitz for his crap (esp cause of their rocky dating past), and I'm just SO curious and hype to see more of Verosika in the future. If Fizz, Striker and esp Stolas could get their times to shine in Blitz's messy love life... then surely his first-ever(?) girlfriend deserves an ep of her own as well to get that closure too 👏👏
-Moxxie Used to be my first ever fave when I watched the HB pilot, and... I say I still enjoy him fairly well nowadays (even if he's dropped a bit in my list ^^; ). A sensitive, down-to-earth but still quirky fella who's doing his best to be a good assassin, loving husband and coworker to Blitz (no matter how much they irritate eachother lol). Kiiiiinda wish they'd lessen up on the buttmonkey jokes with him tbh, cause like... as much as I'm all for slapstick sometimes, it almost feels excessively mean whenever it involves Moxxie (see the "haha Moxxie's fat~" gag :/). Like... okay I get it, can yall leave him alone already, jeez >>.
-Vortex The chillest Hellhound dude to liven up the place, can't say I blame Loona for being fond of him right away ('cause ngl, I'd be too~ lol 🤭). While we didn't get a whole lot of screentime for him in the "Queen Bee" ep, it was still fun seeing him show up and try his best to help Loona have fun (even while his gf Bee came to de-escalate things later on). I'm curious to learn more about him and his growing friendship with Loona, there's def alot to work off of there imo.
-Mrs. Mayberry Such an underrated gal on her own accord... and yet I very much adore Mayberry's presence whenever I rewatch Ep. 1 🥺 A humble sweetheart teacher who got the short-end of the stick with a cheating husband and unexpected death, tossed down in Hell wanting vengeance against Martha (aka the woman her husband slept with), and even showed up again to thank the IMP crew with a cake and celebration for a job well done (-albeit at the expense of poor Moxxie's guilt, but I digress lol). Even if her role was ultimately pretty minor in the long run, I can't help lowkey wanting more out of her (fandom/canon-wise) either way~ 😊
-Mammon Did NOT expect this guy to rank up high when I first saw him... but welp, thanks to fandom tag-browsing and various rewatches, this greedy prick ended up entertaining me more than I thought lol. Bombastic, kind of a doofus in his element, and yet more than capable of being intimidating when prompted ("-get your shit together, Fizzy... you're a bloody legend~"). Def feels like we haven't seen the last of Mammon yet, so I'd be down to see what else this Sin embodiment could be up to if it means more money down his pockets lol.
-Paimon As harsh as he was in terms of being a father to Stolas (esp with the arranged marriage thing), Paimon... idk, I found his presence more amusing than irritating to watch, ngl lol. Idk if its his Jafar-like execution, his really solid design (honestly still remains one of my faves tbh), or the way he's just so... gleefully ignorant of how awful he is ("I'm SO good at daddy-ing~") just tickled me alot more than I expected lmao. Not sure where he's at nowadays, but kinda curious to see him again going by that one portrait with Stolas as a grownup .3.
-Glitz & Glam The baddest pair of clown twins who just wanted to vibe, strut their stuff and make money while doing so... honestly, kudos to them for their hustle lol 👏👏. While not exactly the "nicest" characters around, hopefully someday they'll come to put their talent to genuine use out on their own accord (or maybe even with Fizz's side, since he was able to break out of Mammon's hold?).
Like/Light Yellow-Tier:
-Millie *sighs*... oh Millie :(. A looooong time ago I would've placed her up higher in my faves for her sweet bond to Moxxie, fighting skills & general "perky" demeanor balancing well against the other IMP crew's crass/cranky attitudes. But then... after awhile that basically became all there was to know about Millie, as she pretty much stayed the same as she always was even after a whole 1 and a half season(s) worth of episodes 🤷‍♀️ Which like... had Millie been more of a smaller side character who only pops up now and then (like say, Princess Cadence from MLP) that'd be a different story, but as a character who IS considered part of the main established cast... why leave her out in the cold in terms of development and story importance, yknow? (And yes, I am aware that Viv actually posted a Twitter thread awhile ago explaining more of Millie's character/future stories to behold; which while it is relieving to see her intent to flesh out Millie as she is... idk, after eps like "Unhappy Campers", I just don't know how to feel about that thread in-hindsight :P) Sooo yeah... don't really wanna drag on further but TL;DR: Millie by herself isn't necessarily a bad character... but without that much-needed main lead depth given as it was for Blitz, Moxxie, and even Stolas in-comparison... idk, I just can't bring it in me to truly "love" Millie as I should, sad to say :(.
-Crimson While his debut episode was rather... "hit-or-miss" in hindsight, I still found Crimson himself a fairly solid character as this determined, no-nonsense mafia boss who's not afraid to put others in their place (no matter the high status/familial relation to him). I couldn't quiiiite put him in my faves list though 'cause like... hoooow was this dude dumb enough to buy Chaz was "rich" solely cause of his fancy clothes? :/ You'd think someone like Crimson would've done a bit more research to verify Chaz's story (as even Blitz was able to catch onto the truth by just opening his car lol). Idk, I guess it was cool to still see him again regardless in the "Oops" episode... wonder if he survived that one building explosion by the end? :o
-Robo Fizz While not super relevant nowadays given we've got the real Fizzarolli on-screen now... idk, I just always enjoyed the robo version's creepily glitchy vibe, and how he played off against Blitz during their "Loo-Loo Land" encounter .3. ("Oohoohoo! Someone's salty! Real or not, though, people lo-o-ove me! Does anybody love youuuu… Blitz-o??")
-Sallie May While she only had about like, half a minute of screentime total... I kinda dig Sallie's energy as the gal who's sit back on the sides, watch the drama but not afraid to dish some of her own sass if prompted ("-it doesn't count if they don't find the bodyyyy~"). Hopefully they'll give this gal more content in the future given her fan-popularity too, I bet there'd be some fun potential between her & her sis Millie interacting more (for better or worse lol).
-Deerie That one bitchy deer lady who kicked out the Cherubs from Heaven... part of me feels like I should hate her, but ngl... I lowkey couldn't get enough of that subtly smug energy of hers xD ("Hmmmmm no sorrrry, yeaaaaah...no~ ✨" lol).
-Colin Probably the most memorable of the main Cherub trio, Colin seemed like a sweetie pie with just trying to do his job, constantly getting the short-end of the stick but not enough that he can't stand up for himself by the end (see the whole Cherub VS Imp crew battle). Lowkey wanna give him a hug ngl.
-Moxxie's Mom Still salty we never got a name or much on-screen mentions of her outside of the one flashback (not even Moxx or Crimson themselves bringing her up much present day-wise, if at all)... but still, gotta commend a mama willing to stand up for her son's wellbeing (even against a whole mafia). Wonder how she even got involved with all that to begin with, esp since she's apparently from the Wrath ring too...?
-Blitz's Mom/Tilla(?) Basically in the same vein as Moxxie's mom in terms of being a (seemingly) sweet, loving mom who got the short end of the stick with a bad husband, tragic death, and only a few photos left in memory of her. Dunno if we'll see much of her on-screen in the future... but still, poor gal :(.
Ok/Yellow-Tier:
-Loona I... keep going back and forth with this girl alot in terms of how I feel... but rn I guess you can say I'm mostly just "in-the-middle" with Loona? Like, she does have potential as this edgy, laidback goth who's tired of everything but has a soft spot for those who give her a chance (such as Blitz, Tex, and a lil bit with Octavia in the "Seeing Stars" episode)... but then, most of Loona's remaining screentime doesn't really let her keep any significant development with how she'll go right back to being a moody jerk, in her following appearances afterward :/. Granted, I am aware that this might just be a part of her past trauma as a rejected Hellhound orphan, so I ain't expecting Loona to be magically nice forever... buuuut still, a lil consistency would be refreshing to see y'know? If she's willing to take care of Blitz when drunk, have no qualms calling him "dad" and even commend Via to "give dads a chance if they're really trying"... why thwart all that by kicking Blitz in the nuts in just a few scenes later? As someone who loves complex goth characters, I guess I just generally want the best out of Loona's character, when it all comes down to it... :(
-Andrealphus An interesting concept of a character being a cunning, ice-wielding peacock who wants Stolas' glory and power for his own gain (as well as trying to get back at him for hurting his "dear" sister, Stella). Admittedly can't help but feel bummed though that Andre's existence essentially means we won't be getting much depth out of Stella anytime soon (-which honestly makes me question why they didn't just make Andre Stolas' ex-spouse if he's clearly the more capable villain for story-potential, here :/). But eh, thats just me... >>
-Martha The first ever IMP-related antagonist for the series, Martha... was generally "fine", for her time? Kiiinda silly with the execution of her getting all the praise for surviving Mayberry's wrath (-as if she wasn't the same bitch who slept with Mayberry's husband lol >>), only to be suddenly revealed as a secret cannibal along with her family once IMP came to kill her... but I mean, for what it is I'd say Martha played her part as well as she could.
-Agent Two The female government agent who seemed to be the bigger "brains" of the duo, and had a pretty cool transformation scene once Stolas arrived to save IMP. Wasn't too interesting of a character otherwise... but hopefully will get some better moments to shine if the DHORK agency ever comes back in the future.
-Agent One The male government agent who I guess is slightly more on the "childish" scale compared to Agent Two... don't really have much to say about him otherwise though.
-Keenie Seems to have the "Millie" role in the Cherub trio as the more motherly, down-to-earth member wrangling in the others to their mission... yet aside from that, I can't say she was particularly all that memorable in the long run? Cute design though .3.
-Millie's Mom & Dad While a lil unnecessarily rude/condescending to Millie & her husband (esp with the ending like... yall she JUST got her leg caught in a bear-trap, leave her be -_-), they at least seem to still care about her enough to want only the "best" for their lil girl. Which compared to some of these other canon parents, is def saying alot lol.
Neutral/Light Green-Tier:
-Barbie Wire Ngl, as someone who's watched HB since the pilot, I've always been curious to learn more about Blitz's family past going by those circus posters, that one mention from Verosika ("Your sister says hi~"), and even that one childhood photo in Blitz's phone bringing him to tears was chock full of story potential. But then... most of the S2 childhood flashbacks barely ever contained Barbie Wire (with even Fizzarolli having more significance there in comparison), up until the summer camp episode, where her actual on-screen character was... well, basically just Blitz but in female-font 🤷‍♀️? Crass, rude, self-absorbed and horny... not a whole lot else to go off of by the time she left, so... can't say Barb really made much of an impression on me in the long-run, sad to say :/. Bless the AU fanfics out there giving her more time & depth to flesh her out better outside of her brother's shadow, at least 🙏.
-Stella Okay, now before anyone freaks out... yes I DO acknowledge that Stella's an awful person, and def got what was coming to her once Stolas stood his ground/kicked her out for how she hurt him. So I don't honestly blame anyone who just genuinely dislikes/hates Stella overall (as that's clearly the show's intent with how they're writing her rn lol)... but for me, I just don't really feel one way or another about her tbh, esp with how... "hollow" her character feels atm :/. Like, her original premise as this haughty & bitter wife who wants to scorn Stolas for his cheating (albeit for shallow reasons) was perfectly fine on its own... with loads of villain-writing potential once they revealed her assassin-planned revenge against him. But then... after awhile she just started feeling more & more like a joke than an actual "threat" (throwing literal-tantrums about "wanting him dead so baaaaadly :c" as of her latest appearance... bruh -.-), which imo is just... weird for someone who's meant to be such a big, looming antagonist in Stolas' life? And its not like she's written to be entertainingly evil (ex. any of the classic-era Disney villains), or analytically interesting to watch (ex. Bloberta Puppington), as there's just... zero effort put into Stella's characterization compared to other (mostly male) villains we've seen onscreen :/ Not helped that we don't even get much of a glimmer of what Stella and Via are like as mother & daughter (with any slightly relating comment to one another inevitably leading back to Stolas... again >>), and at this point I just... wonder why Stella's even here anymore if her own brother's gonna be the one behind all the "plotting" now🤷‍♀️. Kudos to some of the AU fanworks I've seen fleshing Stella's character out alot better in-comparison (at least in terms of giving her more story purpose/depth than just a screechy nuisance lol)... so, there's that at least :P.
-Wally Wackford Oh hey, there's that one goofy-voiced salesman character who pops up now and then in episode cameos... and uh, yeah that's basically about the gist of what I think regarding Wally lol. Not quite sure how exactly he got so popular though, but... I mean, its neat I guess?
-Loopty Goopty Um... I guess this guy had a couple funny lines when he popped up, and kinda cool he & Lyle are apparently friends-again after reuniting in Hell together... but yeah, don't really have much else to say about Loopty lol🤷‍♀️
-Lyle Lipton The other-half to his (former) duo dynamic with Loopty, and... not a whole lot else to him either save for being an old greedy dude :P. Kinda pointless to have spent so much on trying to "redeem" someone so set in his ways, so... can't say I was too surprised to see him pop back up in Hell lol.
Dislike/Green-Tier:
-Stolas *Immediately dodges the fan-tomatoes*... okay yeaaaah at this point I can't lie... I'm just not really vibing with Stolas' character anymore :/ 🤷‍♀️Not to the point that I "hate" the guy by no means, 'cause I know he does still have some interesting potential/depth to him as this pompous, dark yet deep-down lonely owl unsure of how to handle love/closeknit-relationships (esp while surrounded by all his wealth & mystical powers)... ...but good LORD did they crank up the sappiness in his character as of late, basically erasing any and all faults from Stolas as now he's just... there to be some "uwu sad boi who just wants loooove T-T" 😒. Not that I'm against adding sympathetic layers to a character, ofc... but if its to the point where his own daughter isn't allowed to share her grievances for him ignoring her without being immediately-guilted to forgive him ("dads may mess up, but he's trying~ :c")... then it just leaves me further disinterested in Stolas content as of rn -_- (Fingers crossed the "Asmodean crystal" plotline will give us some hope for genuine growth on Stolas' end, going by the recent music vid's context 🤞🤞)
-Cletus Of all the main three C.H.E.R.U.B. characters, Cletus just feels the most... "off-putting" to me? ^^; Idk if its his weird voice, how oddly "human" he looks compared to the more cutesy/baby animal-lookin' Cherubs... idk the more I look at him he just reminds me more of a rejected FOP character than anything lol
-Cash Buckzo Bottom of the barrel in terms of the "parent" characters we have so far; VERY one-note, not too compelling on his own, and with probably the worst-sounding voice in terms of line delivery, I'm sorry x-x; Idk if they were going for some "Iago"-like impression to fit with Paimon's "Jafar" vibe... buuuut it didn't really work for me xP. Kinda curious as to what his current whereabouts are since idk if he got out of the fire unscathed (-minus him chugging some beer on the way out, I mean >x>)
Hate/Blue-Tier:
-Chaz Pointless, creepy & obnoxious character who dragged down his debut as quickly as he got killed off... yeah I just never liked this dude tbh, even as someone who does like aquatic/shark-themed characters >> also plssss tell me they didn't actually model his full name after Chadwick Boseman (RIP) 'cause if thats the case then... OOF-
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pendragyn · 1 year
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Hey, I know this is literally out of the blue but im asking for some emergency help for my cats current situation. Please boost/share it for us so that we could get some traction or it could reach more people. I understand if its not okay, so sorry for taking some of your time and I wish you to be safe and healthy, xx.(Please considering answering my ask privately or probably send me a msg! 😭🙏
look drcember, not to be mean but a blog that only came into existence 15 hours ago, reblogged a bunch of random fandom and cat stuff then suddenly has a cat emergency that needs a reblog and a private reply screams scam in every way conceivable.
But hey, you followed me 2 seconds before sending the message so kudos for trying to negate that massive red flag?
If by some miraculous chance you aren't a scammer then you should know this entire setup has ensured that everyone is going to assume that you are.
For folks new to tumblr, begging for help for a sick pet/family member is an unfortunately common scam that goes around frequently, and is why I don't reblog donation posts from randos. I highly recommend being exceedingly wary of anyone begging in your inbox.
Elodiunderglass and Vaspider have both done excellent posts on how to spot scams, but let me reiterate; there is no cat/dog/bird/sibling/child/parent/grandparent/etc, especially if;
🚩 Their blog only just popped into existence in the past few days - so no way to know what kind of person they are or if they even have the thing they're claiming they need money to save.
🚩 They don't or just started following you - meaning they found your name randomly and just decided to message you out of the blue. Why? Well, have you donated or reblogged a charity post? Did something you post go viral? Are you a mutual with people who go viral on a regular basis?
🚩 They ask for a private response to their message, but want you to publicly reblog their charity posts. This gives them and the post an air of legitimacy, that you found the post on your own (meaning you follow them) and decided it was valid enough to pass on to your followers.
Inconsistencies in their stories/posts might be minor but are huge red flags. A few examples: 🚩 being very vague about the issue but insisting it is an urgent emergency, 🚩 not using the name of the pet/person in the post, 🚩 they'll say you can send money directly to the caregivers but then only give you their personal donation links, 🚩 not having any mention of the creature/issue on their blog before the sudden need for a large sum of money.
and recognize that they have probably sent this same message to a ton of other random, viral/charity post people at the same time. 🚩🚩🚩
It's okay to be wary and not engage with those you feel are trying to scam you. If you're really worried, reverse image search the "proof" and the paypal/cashapp links. Are there other posts on other blogs with the same links but different names/causes? Are there posts on other sites about the issue but with completely different links? All confirmations of scamming.
Even if there's nothing concrete, you're still allowed to say no. Even if it's a real need! You are not obligated to donate to random strangers on the internet, please don't let anyone convince you that you are.
Save your time and money by being generous with your friends and family and local causes, or actual charities like food banks, doctors without borders, local shelters, etc.
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marshmallowgoop · 2 years
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duuuude finding a fellow conan dub appreciator in the year 2022 🙏 the english dub is criminally underrated imo-- it was clearly localized with love and the VAs gave a lot of unique personality to their roles. (Viktorin + Jewell do a killer job as Conan and the use of the Shinichi voice for the internal monologues is so. good.) (also I finally have the info I need to determine if my SAVE copies are bootlegs like i've always suspected so thanks!)
I've found that there are actually quite a few FUNimation dub appreciators still around!
But yes!!! Totally agree. FuNi's English dub is genuinely my favorite way to watch DetCo, and it's so nice to see it get recognition for what it did well. I mean no disrespect to the new Bang Zoom! dub; my most popular post on this site is celebrating a Bang Zoom! dub, after all (unfortunately not captioned, though I did put together a sub/dub breakdown here). It's exciting that Conan is getting official English-dubbed releases after years of nothing, and there are some real skilled, experienced folks in the cast and staff.
And admittedly, I've only seen Bang Zoom!'s rendition of Episode One: The Great Detective Turned Small despite having every DetCo Blu-ray that Discotek's released sitting on the shelf in front of me right now, but I can't help but feel that in trying to correct the inaccuracies of the FuNi dub, they've lost a lot of the charm. Conan thinking in Shinichi's voice isn't faithful to the original Japanese performances, true, but it's a perfectly fair way of adapting the manga and a choice that resonates so much more with me. Why would you think in a voice that you don't consider your own? Conan thinking in Conan's voice strikes me as contradictory to the character, in all honesty. It was such a disappointment to me that the Bang Zoom! dub didn't continue this practice.
The Bang Zoom! script itself often comes off to me as stilted, too; one of the biggest strengths of FUNimation's dub, in my opinion, is how natural it could sound. But part of that is due to the loosey-goosiness of its translation. It takes a lot of creative liberties—definitely too many at times!—but for the most part, I think it's absolutely excellent at making the dialogue really work in English. The Bang Zoom! production sells itself as a more accurate Detective Conan, and I sincerely do respect that, and I love that it uses the original names, but I also feel that in striving so much for accuracy, it loses the naturalness that FuNi's dub absolutely shone in.
Of course, a quick glance tells me that other Bang Zoom! Conan projects have different ADR directors and script writers, so maybe the films still wrapped in plastic on my shelf have a different feel to them than Episode One. But gosh, while I initially watched Detective Conan in Japanese with subtitles because I was turned off by the name changes of the FuNi dub, actually experiencing it all these years later told me that you can still have a fantastic dub, even if it's not 100% faithful.
Sorry to ramble! I'm super passionate about dubs and subtitles and that sort of thing. Happy that my S.A.V.E. bootleg post was helpful! Still can't believe that Case Closed of all things got so bootlegged, though I must say: for anyone interested in collecting the old FuNi dub on disc, I can't recommend the original art box releases enough. Sure, they're not as nice and compact as the seasonal sets, but you get more extras (dub bloopers!) and the occasional English dub subtitles and video options. I really regret not getting them initially!
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useful-boy · 2 months
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Hey, hi! Im really sorry for sending this, i just hope im not overstepping any boundaries as I’m about to ask help which is very important right now :( our cat, Sleepy needs an urgent vet care. She is pain and I can't afford to pay the vet to help her so I'm reaching out to ask for help, I mean even if you can’t help monetarily, reblogging or sharing it would truly mean a lot. She is my daughter’s best friend and she’s all I have left of my mom who passed away last 2021. In case you’d be insterested to help, I have pinned the post on my blog, please try to also answer the ask privately as some people tend to get weird on this stuff. Please send us prayers, be safe. ♥️🙏
Oh brother, this guys STINKS
One of the oldest scams in the book, and you've actually got people falling for this? My god, man.
1.) 5 day old account
2.) Following random blogs out of nowhere to beg for help
3.) Pinned post introduces the cat as "Sleepy" in quotes. Everyone knows animal lovers don't talk about their pets that way. You say their name with your chest or you don't say it at all. No one "quotes" their beloved pet's name.
4.) You mention having several pictures of this cat but never attach any to the post? Couldn't even be bothered to rip them off google and just hoped people would take you at your word? Amateur.
5.) Your story is just all over the place. You say your cat's condition was noticed "just before Christmas", then go on to describe mastitis (which would be very unusual for a cat to get when not nursing unless it was caused by an infection, an injury, or extremely poor hygiene). You say that because of this, she has an infection in her lungs, and that with antibiotics, she only has days left to live.
Then you go on to say that you don't actually know what her condition is, which contradicts the whole thing about her being on antibiotics because how would you even have her on that if you couldn't afford to bring her to a vet that could diagnose her in the first place to give her those antibiotics? You don't just find those lying around anywhere. The proper order is take cat to vet -> get diagnosis -> get antibiotics, not cat is sick -> listen to friend -> buy medicine at petsmart -> ??? -> get antibiotics for mystery condition from fucking nowhere I guess.
6.) You Also say that you "don't want her to develop sepsis or gangrene" after saying that your cat has an infection in her lungs, but if it's spread that far to her body? She's already dead.
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Your cat is not laying at home like this 5 days after making a post about her condition. Your fictional cat is dead.
Also you mention not wanting her to die over something that needs antibiotics, which is a double contradiction. She's on antibiotics, you couldn't afford to see a vet where you would get both antibiotics and a diagnosis, she needs antibiotics, make up your mind.
7.) We're in the final stretch of breaking down your obvious scam, don't worry folks. You said... Okay your English really devolved here so copy/paste it is. "I have a PayPal. The estimate reflects the only vet in our tricity area that will take donations over the phone but they require the money upfront."
You never actually gave a monetary estimate Anywhere in your post, so good job failing that. Donating money through PayPal would just leave you with money in your PayPal account, which you could then transfer to a bank account, so the idea of taking individual donations received through PayPal and just, what? Reading their usernames out loud to the vet? That makes no sense at all.
8.) Actually taking a look at the page your donation post links out to brings us here.
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Almost no information here, but let's check out the PayPal link.
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Hm. That's a name alright. Odd that you can't tap on their name to open up a profile of some sort... Going onto actual PayPal and manually searching their name up got me this.
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Well that just can't be right. The nice person with a totally real cat said that they had a PayPal account, and that was the name their page said we were donating to. Hmm.
9.) The cat used in your page isn't yours.
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10.) "Please try to answer the post privately" No, I don't think I will. I think I'll show everyone how lousy you are at scamming people. Feel ashamed.
Now if you've made it this far, block and report this guy for trying to scam us hardworking tumblr users out of their money by feeding us a lameass sob story about their fake dead cat, and look at the post this cat pic comes from as a reward when you're done.
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Hi! Im really sorry on sending this, i just hope im not overstepping any boundaries as I’m about to ask help which is very important right now :( my dog, Gizmo needs an urgent dental surgery. He is having a real hard time eating and I can't afford to pay the vet to help him so I'm reaching out to ask for help, I mean even if you can’t help monetarily, reblogging or sharing it would truly mean a lot. He is my therapy dog and my bestfriend, I am undergoing chemotherapy due to my leukemia and I cant do this without him. I have pinned the post on my blog, please try to also answer the ask privately as some people tend to get weird on this stuff. Please send us prayers, be safe. ♥️🙏
WOO BOY WE SURE DO LOVE SCAMS
"try to answer the ask privately" LOLOLOLOL I've been around I've seen these bots/scammers and it's astounding that folk still fall for this which is why I'm posting it lolololol
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