#sorry for posting this much I'm done for now

[roebeanstalk]

hello hello 💚 super struggling, doing my best to hang in there. sorry for mostly being annoying reblogs and begging posts lately.

I'm flying down to Illinois on Thursday to visit my mom, she had some major eye surgery. she's okay, but I've been struggling with it emotionally on a bunch of levels.

money stuff is also just bleak. I'm nervous about it. bills I owe my roommate for, October rent coming up, keeping myself fed through my snap payment on the eighth.

i keep trying to job hunt, but struggle so hard cause I don't have a car and am a long bus commute from everything. and also just, PTSD both in and out of the workplace. makes it hard. I want to figure out how to approach it better after I'm home from Illinois next week.

gender and identity stuff is like... at it's best and worst. my hormone levels are where they need to be, but I swear my facial hair is darker and coarser and faster growing than it used to be. but it's also my biggest cause of dysphoria so idk... I want to get laser or electrolysis sorted but it can't even be a priority right now.

I'm sluggish and tired cause I'm pretty much only able to eat a meal a day and it's just a variation on eggs and toast.

my head is so tied up with everything. I'm having a hard time responding to people I care about and getting things done.

I'm not giving up, I'm gonna keep going. justttt struggling again and trying to be honest about it

[starzzmissthesun]

i think you should totally drop whatever hc/ideas you have lying around honestly...i would love to see more into ur brain...pls <33

:DD

Hi!!!! Sorry this is a little late, I got so distracted with an animatic im working on(😈) and then a stupid essay😭😭 being honest rn... Almost all of what I've been thinking about is my fic.. 😔

But!! I can still go a little into that without spoilers. I've finally figured out The Perfect ending for this story that I feel fits with the overarching themes I wanted to tell. I've been making sure that every little detail fits with the themes I wanted to show, I wanted it to overlap Regulus and barty's characters and their overarching themes with PD. I also didn't want to just replicate PD cause I feel like that doesnt have the depth or commentary I want to out into it. Idk ive always thought it's super fun to put everything as some sort of symbol or metaphor or foreshadowing. I'm like literally so close to being done drafting and then I can actually talk about it a little more😭

Anyways! I've also been thinking about barty post regs death 😔(when am I not) But more specifically how every memory he had would almost be tainted, everything now would have an air of questioning and unsureness. Even memories where Regulus isn't there, just wondering where was he? What was he thinking? Am I remembering this right? What could've I changed? What was the domino that caused all of this to happen? Eventually finding it hard to accept the way it really was, having the "I guess it was" and feeling it, but overintellectualizing it. His logic and reasoning is his downfall in this situation, that's what makes him go crazy. (Side note I NEED to make a little post about his intersection between intelligence and madness) Hes doing a complicated version of when there's a task that seems so simple that you think it's a trick, but it's not, it's just that. What happened with Regulus was just that.

Also, I've recently self reflected and realized that a lot of my barty characterization is similar to how I think of Leonard Cohen's art(who I LOVE LOVE LOVE) Idk if you've listened to him or read any of his work, but I HIGHLY suggest it, it's perfect for fall. Anyways, a lot of his songs and poems carry themes of having a twisted self image, not completely self deprication though it may seem, but something else. It's closer to understanding and knowing that you are. Different. And unconventional. It's an uncomfortablility he has with himself. Being soemthig twisted from what you should've been. A lot of his stuff is also to do with tragically losing someone, out of their own choice, and still feeling very loyal yet bitter. Also of loving something so much that it turns dark, or it goes too quick, it spirals. Also his love songs are very barty's perspective on bartylus to me. And like, obvious war mentions. I could give some specific recs similar to barty or them if you'd like.

Another thing is of Regulus and his relationship with his dad. Though I see it completely reasonable if his dad was just kind of, not there and neglectful, it could give very interesting implications to his character, I like it the other way around. Orion seeing what a more carefree attempt at raising a child does and keeping Regulus even closer than he did before. I think Orion always liked Regulus more, despite him being the second, because he was a model son. I don't think he wanted this life or even to have kids, so Regulus being so complacent and in line with what he was supposed to be as a pure blood made him the decided favourite(as much as he could have one). He was always keeping a close eye on Regulus and he could feel it, but he didn't do anything out of place anyways. Orion could tell when he was even thinking something he wasn't supposed to. I believe that, no matter how much she tried, walpurga was too caught in her own head about her duty as a mother to see S+R as anything other than Her Kids, as property that she was supposed to care for and tend to, she obviously loved them, but couldn't see through them. But Orion was there around every corner looking through regulus' eyes into his soul to search for any thing out of his perfect kid.

Anyways.... That's all I can think of rn😭 but if you have questions about ANY of them lmk!!! I love yapping about my little thoughts 😁😁

[tkwrites]

An Infinite Kind of Love - A 300 follower celebration fic - Matthew Tkachuk x ofc

Photo from Pinterest

Title: An Infinite Kind of Love

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Pre-established: Matthew Tkachuk x Sophie (ofc)

Warnings: Other than mentions of a not great biological father, it’s all fluff. 

Summary: Matthew and Sophie get married! 

Word count: 3,800

Comments: I hit 300 followers way back on July 12 and set up this poll to determine the fic I would write in celebration. We’d just passed the 4th of July, and I had a very specific idea for Matthew and Sophies wedding because of it. 

This fic has actually been finished for about 3 weeks, but I was worried people would be upset if I posted it before the latest Quinn and Sarah Snapshot went up. So, here it is. 

I hope you enjoy seeing Matthew and Sophie get married! If you did, please consider commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. I love hearing your thoughts about my writing!

Also we're just going to pretend the suit in this photo is navy because I couldn't find a photo of Matthew in a navy suit other than last years NHL Awards suit, which is not a suit for a wedding.

An Infinite Kind of Love

A Matthew and Sophie Fic

“Can someone get Matthew?” Sophie asked. 

“Of course.” Taryn darted out to run across the courtyard. 

When she got back to the suite, Matthew was running in after her. 

Gwen was naked to the waist and yelped. 

He slapped a hand over his eyes. “Sorry! Sorry! Soph?”

She rushed to him, pulling him out onto the balcony. “It's safe,” she said, nudging his hand down. 

The late afternoon sun turned her into nothing more than a silhouette. He had to blink a few times before she came into focus. She'd changed from the short ivory colored dress she'd worn to brunch into a set of loose satin pajamas. Her hair was in rollers, and even with brows that looked too heavy without the rest of her makeup done, she still looked beautiful. 

“What's wrong?” he asked, his hands automatically going to her arms, rubbing up and down. He didn't think it would actually happen, but thoughts of her calling off the wedding had still weaseled their way into the back of his mind when Taryn raced into the groom's room telling him Sophie wanted to see him. 

“Nothings wrong,” she said, looking into his face. Despite only wearing a t-shirt and shorts, he looked fresh faced, and handsome. He and the boys had gone to the barber shop after brunch, and they'd done his hair so his curls were perfectly set and defined. It took all her willpower to not run her fingers through them. They’d also given him a straight edge shave, and she could tell how soft his cheeks would be without even touching them. 

She preferred a bit of scruff on him, but he'd insisted he'd rather be clean shaven, saying he didn't want to look like a Muppet on their wedding day.

“Plus,” he'd said with a mischievous glint in his eye, “don't want to give you any beard burn,” before rubbing her cheek with his stubbled jaw.

She’d laughed and told him she didn’t mind. 

“What's up?” he asked now, looking relieved. 

“I just wanted to see you,” she said, stepping into him and wrapping her arms around his chest. 

As his arms enclosed around her, she felt his chuckle at the same time she heard it. 

“I missed you, too,” he said. With the rollers, he couldn’t tuck his face into her hair the way he liked to. He settled for resting his lips on her forehead. 

“For being our wedding day, we don't see very much of each other,” she said.

While they’d had a brunch with many of their wedding guests before coming to the ceremony venue to get ready, they’d slept apart the night before and spent much of the morning away from each other. Then, they were supposed to be apart until the first look and the ceremony. It felt incongruous. This was a celebration of their union. Shouldn't they be together?  

“I know. It's bullshit,” he whispered. 

“What aftershave did they use?” she asked. He smelled fresh like cut grass and mountain air. 

“I'm not sure. I picked it because I thought you'd like it.”

The simpleness of the act and of his thoughtfulness made her a little weak in the knees. “It smells really nice.”

Matthew closed his eyes, drinking in the feel of her body pressed to his, her breath on his neck and her nose in the soft spot under his jaw. Knowing that he'd picked right made pride swell in his chest.

“I'll ask them and get some,” he said. 

Pulling back, she leaned up to kiss him. 

It wasn't anything extravagant. It wasn't a kiss that made him break into a hot sweat or one that brought him to his knees. It was loving and soft. There was tongue, because with Sophie, there was always a little tongue. 

They kissed a few more times before she pulled away to find a look of adoration on his handsome face as he smiled down at her. 

Caught in the moment, they stayed that way for a few beats longer, just staring at each other until someone cleared their throat.

In the back of her mind, Sophie knew they were all in the room, but it was still a bit shocking when they looked over to find all her bridesmaids, both of their moms and the wedding photographer all gathered around the balcony door. 

“You guys are so cute,” Gwen gushed. 

There wasn't much about their wedding that was traditional. Instead of the usual noon, 2 or 5 o'clock ceremonies, their ceremony was set to begin at 8:30 so it would be dark enough by the time they kissed. They served a cocktail hour with food before the ceremony, at which the bridal party, minus the bride, mingled. After the vows, they were headed to a late-night reception with food trucks, cocktails, and partying. 

With 20 minutes to go before the ceremony, they all snuck off to a more secluded part of the garden. The groomsmen insisted they wanted to do a first look with Sophie. It turned into a whole thing: groomsmen along with Keith and her stepdad Greg. Then Matthew would come in and join them to get his own first look.

Sophie was hidden behind a trellis in another part of the garden with both of their moms and her bridesmaids. 

Her mom grabbed her hand to stop her from nervously pulling at her dress, and Sophie felt butterflies attack her stomach. 

Before the bridesmaids went out to join the guys, Taryn wrapped her in a tight hug. When they parted, she held Sophie at arms length to look her over. “Matthew’s gonna shit himself,” she said, tone full of a kind of teasing approval Sophie never experienced until she’d met Matthew. Their family teased, but mostly, it was all in good fun. It was rarely the kind of needling teasing she got from her dad as a child.

Once she’d tried it on for the first time, Sophie couldn’t stop thinking about Matthew seeing her in this dress. She’d had it custom-made, pieces of a few dresses stolen and sewn together to make exactly what she’d wanted. The bodice had a plunging neckline that narrowed between her breasts, so it wasn’t all that scandalous and floral embroidery that cascaded down onto the A-line skirt. It was simple and understated, just left of center enough to make it unique and just off white enough to be flattering. If the color were a little darker, it might be called blush.

She knew Matthew would love it because she loved it. That was just the kind of guy he was. But Taryn’s reaction still made her insides fizz like champagne. 

Upon a prompt from their wedding planner, Sophie walked out. 

The groomsmen were lined up, facing away from her.

They turned around when the photographer, who was standing off to the side with full view of everyones reactions, gave the signal.

As Sophie watched, a broad grin spread over every face. Greg and Keith both started crying, which she hadn’t expected. Keith pulled his glasses off so he could wipe his eyes. 

Greg rushed forward to gather her into a hug. His chest shook with sobs as he whispered, “thank you for letting me be here.”

“You’re the best dad, Greg. I’m so glad you’re here.” 

“Matthew’s one lucky son of a bitch,” he said, wiping his eyes. “I’m so proud of you.” 

She hugged him again, squeezing extra tight. 

Her brother followed. “You're so pretty, Soph,” he said.  

“You look really handsome in your suit,” she said, wiping at her own tears that had finally spilled over. 

He worked his thumbs under his suspenders and puffed out his chest. 

Their laughter was loud and raucous as she struck a pose of her own. 

When it was his turn, Keith gathered her into his barrel chest and lifted her off the ground in a bear hug.

She let out a surprised little squeak and giggled as her feet kicked out behind her.

“I don’t know —” Keith had to stop to wipe his eyes again after he set her back down, “I don’t know what Matthew did to get on your good side, but I’m sure glad he did.” 

“You raised a good man,” she said, patting him on the chest as they parted, “that’s what he did.” 

He gave her a watery smile and went back to Chantal and Taryn, slinging an arm around each of them.

“Matthew’s gonna lose his mind,” Sam whispered in her ear as they hugged.

She giggled, hoping he was right. 

And finally (finally, finally!), Matthew was walking down the garden path next to Brady, looking as nervous and excited as she felt and so handsome in his navy blue suit. He had his Louis Vuitton belt on. Even though she thought it was a little distracting to wear to a wedding, he insisted it was his signature piece and couldn’t go without it. She found an indulgent smile on her face, glad he was wearing something he loved so much. At least she’d convinced him to wear real dress shoes and not those ridiculous mules he’d been sporting to the arena all season. 

Sophie came into view, and all at once, Matthew felt tears sting his eyes. He’d known he would cry. He knew there was no hope of stopping it. He loved her so much, and this whole day had him all discombobulated. This wasn’t even the first time he’d cried, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. 

After today, he would be her husband. Her husband. He would be her husband, and she would be his wife.  And —

She was wearing the most beautiful dress he’d ever seen. Simple and elegant and completely Sophie. A strong pang of longing, love, and nostalgia pulled through him when he realized her lips were even painted the same pink they had been on their first date. 

She was perfect.

“Oh my god,” he said, awestruck as they joined the group. 

She knew he would probably do that no matter what she was wearing, but it still felt good. 

Brady stepped forward and gathered her into a hug. “You look beautiful, Soph,” he said before going to stand with Emma, wiping a few tears from his eyes as he leaned down to whisper to her about how much this reminded him of their own wedding. 

Finally standing in front of her, Matthew was at a loss for words. Eventually, he just said the thing that kept running through his mind. “Holy Shit.”

Everyone around them laughed. 

Matthew continued to stare silently as everyone else headed back to start ushering the guests into the ceremony seats. 

“I don’t…” he paused, trying to articulate the words. He wasn’t sure there were words for what he was feeling. “Fuck.” 

She burst into laughter. “Is that good? Or bad?” 

“Good,” he said, half of his mouth tipping up in a smile. “You’re –” he blinked a few times, “you’re so pretty, Sophie.”

Heat flushed into her cheeks. “Thank you. I think you look really handsome.” 

“You don’t mind the belt?” he asked, tone and eyes teasing as he hooked his thumbs behind it. 

“Nope,” she stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he said into her hair, getting a mouth full of hairspray. He turned to lay his cheek against it instead. 

“I can’t believe it’s finally here.” 

“I know,” she whispered. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket at the same time he saw her mom walking down the path that led from the ceremony. 

“It’s time for me to go,” he whispered. 

Tightening her arms around him, she resisted nuzzling into his shirt, knowing she’d get makeup all over the starched white material. 

“I’ll see you in a minute,” she said, pulling back to look into his face. 

He dipped down to drop a quick kiss to her lips. “See you in a minute, my betrothed.”

He’d started calling her that after some venue asked him if he and “his betrothed” would be attending a catering tasting together. 

“Soon not to be,” she said with a wink. 

He laughed, stole another quick kiss, and hugged her mom before jogging to meet Brady, who was waiting at the end of the path. 

Sophie asked her mom to walk her down the aisle. She thought the idea of a man giving a woman away was archaic anyway, but especially after her dad left, she vowed never to have a man walk her down the aisle at her wedding. 

So when the music started to play for their bridal party, an instrumental version of Here Comes the Sun — requested by Matthew because he called Sophie his ray of sunshine and they were heralding her entrance — she and her mom walked to the end of the pathway that was serving as their aisle. 

Everything looked beautiful. Matthew was standing with their officiant — someone he grew up with who was now a pastor — under a large trellis, covered in a vine of blooming jasmine. The small white flowers (another reason her dress couldn’t be white) stood out against the mens dark suits and the lilac of the bridesmaids' dresses. Everything was bathed in the gentle golden glow of the candles, lanterns, and fairy lights strewn throughout the garden. It was like walking into a dream.

The song she would walk down the aisle to began, it’s jazzy, guitar playing softly from the speakers hidden around their guests. 

The officiant instructed everyone to stand, and they did, turning to look at her, as she and her mom stopped at the end of the sidewalk. 

While everyone looked at her, she looked at Matthew. Watching his smile and his breathless excitement as she made her way to him. He was even bouncing on the balls of his feet. Her own heart ticked in her ears, and she concentrated on the song lyrics in an effort to keep herself from running to him. 

When we were strangers I watched you from afar When we were lovers I loved you with all my heart But now it's getting late And the moon is climbing high I wanna celebrate See it shining in your eyes Because I'm still in love with you I wanna see you dance again Because I'm still in love with you On this harvest moon

Watching Sophie walk down the aisle, her lips painted the same color pink they were on their first date, it felt a little like watching her walk through their history. He was outrageously glad to be on this side of it, having won her trust and love and finding himself in a situation where he had the chance to be with her forever. 

Her mom hugged her and went to sit with Greg. 

Sophie took the last three steps to stand in front of Matthew by herself. She was ready to take this last leap, eager to no longer do this life on her own.

The officiant invited everyone to sit and began talking about matrimony. She missed most of the speech, too busy thinking about the vows she’d written and watching Matthew. The navy suit made his eyes a deeper shade of blue than usual. 

Finally, after what felt to Matthew like forty minutes, though it couldn’t have been more than five, they were invited to read the vows they’d written. 

“When we agreed to write our own vows, I made Soph promise to let me go first so I didn’t have the pressure of trying to follow her.”

Sophie and the crowd laughed. Matthew noticed his mom wipe a tear from her cheek. His dad put an arm around her. 

Taking in a deep breath, Matthew closed his eyes for a moment before looking back to the printed piece of paper Brady had handed him. 

“Sophie,” he began. His voice wobbled a little. The way she was looking at him made him feel light-headed. The culmination of the day coming together and seeing her looking so beautiful in her dress was too much. Truth be told, he was a bit shocked he was even still standing. 

She took his free hand, and the grounding in her touch centered his breathing.

He looked at her and began again.  

“Sophie, if I tried to articulate all the ways I love you, I’m pretty sure we’d be here for several days because I don’t think I could ever find the right words.” 

The audience awed. 

“So instead of that, I wrote down some of the things I love about you, and what I’ll try to be for you, and you’ll just have to put up with the words I’ve got.” 

She snorted, and he heard Brady laugh behind him. 

“So here goes. I love that you make me quiet.” 

Tears pressed behind her eyes. She hadn’t expected him to go for the jugular right off the bat. 

“Most people know I have a pretty hard time shutting up,” he paused, listening to his dad laugh, “but you taught me the value in quiet moments, and I love that I fell in love with you in them. I love that I get a side of you no one else does, and I love that you trust me enough to show it to me.” 

A few tears leaked out and slid down her cheeks. Gwen slipped a tissue into her hand, and Sophie smiled gratefully, pressing it to her lashes to stop her mascara from running.

“I love that you love my family and that I feel like I could be with you forever, and we would never get bored. I love that we’ve created our own little ecosystem and that it thrives because we’re both invested and working on it.” 

His mom was crying into a handkerchief.  

“I can’t promise that I’ll always be this good looking.” 

The suddenness of the joke made Sophie bark out a sudden laugh, much too loud over the amplification system. Her hand slapped over her mouth to quiet the sound, and he laughed indulgently, as if that was the exact reaction he’d been going for. 

“But what I can promise is this: that I’ll always try to protect you, except when it comes to spiders.” He paused for the laughter to die down, “That I’ll always do my best to be present when I’m home, and that I’ll always listen to and help you achieve your dreams. Most of all, I promise that I won’t ever stop trying to earn and deserve your trust and love.”

He folded the paper up. His mom was crying, as was Emma. He was pretty certain Taryn would be tearing up, too, but he couldn’t see her with the way the bridal party was standing. He wanted to end it in some fancy way like he knew she would, but he didn’t know how, other than to say, “I love you and I can’t wait to start this new chapter with you.”

Sophie wiped her nose and dabbed at the tears in her eyes. “I love you, too.”

She sniffed and swallowed, trying to get her bearings.

“Matthew always tries to tell me he isn’t good with words,” Sophie said, giving him a wry look as her fingers squeezed around his, “but I think you all can be the judge of that.” 

He laughed. 

She coughed gently to get some of the tears out of her voice. “When I started writing my vows, I couldn’t think of anything but love. I’ve been trying to understand it my whole life. When I was a kid, I thought I had to parcel out my love to make sure it didn’t run out, and other people had to do the same. Matthew, although you didn’t teach me that there’s an infinite amount of love in the world, you did prove that infinite love exists in a way I had never experienced before with a man.” 

Now he was crying. 

“I’ve always felt a little on my own,” she explained, “a little too quirky to be loved in that big infinite way.” 

The audience was listening, wrapt. This was exactly why he didn’t want to go after her. Not only would he be a mess, there would be no way he could possibly follow her words.

“The last thing I expected in life was for this muscle-bound, curly-haired, rough and tumble hockey player to not only understand my quirks but to embrace and encourage them.” Her voice trembled. “I’m forever grateful I can take down my walls with you, Matthew.”

He took the tissue Brady handed him, unashamed, and wiped the tears from his eyes. 

“And for your patience and consistency, even when I can be skittish and uptight.” She paused, listening to her half of the audience twitter.

“I promise I’ll kill the spiders,” she said, and he laughed along with the rest of their guests. “And I promise to never be unreasonably jealous of your job. But most of all, I promise to always be honest and to love you in the infinite way you showed me was possible.” 

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to lean in and just lay one on her. Tradition be damned. He pressed his mouth to hers, mumbling how much he loved her against her lips. When he pulled back, her eyes told him how much she loved him in return.

The officiant led them through the traditional “til death do us part” stuff, and they exchanged rings. It was a strange thing to feel the weight of the band on his finger, but Matthew had never been so glad to have something tying him down. It felt like he might just float away without it. 

“You may now kiss the bride,” the officiant said with a wide smile. 

Matthew’s hand slipped up to cradle her jaw, and he looked into her eyes as the fingers on her left hand tapped out five beats on the back of his arm. 

And just like they rehearsed, just like they planned, just like Ryan said it would happen, the moment their lips touched, fireworks screeched to life behind them, screaming into the sky and exploding in a fan of sparks and color and sound. 

It was perfect. 

It was this video, first showing their faces as they looked adoringly at each other and then cutting back to catch the fireworks igniting the moment they kissed, that Matthew shared on his Instagram. 

It’s been fireworks from the first kiss, and we’re still going strong. 

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

[le-panda-chocovore]

BASED ON THIS TIKTOK

(I actually wrote way more but it has become an entire fanfiction at this point so I cut it out. I'm only posting the first part here and I'll publish the entire work on AO3 when I'll be done with it. However I do not guarantee it'd be published anytime soon. Anyway, enjoy our national brat <3)

"Don't test your luck Satoru, this is NOT going to happen again."

The white haired boy looked at his best friend smugly. He didn't seem to be listening, and if he was, he clearly didn't care.

"This was just a one-time thing, I was surprised, but I won't let my guard down again, do you understand?"

Satoru made a few steps toward the other teen, showing how absolutely not understanding he was at this moment.

"I hope you do, because I'm not going to repeat myself !"

Wet lips, red cheeks, avoiding eyes and perfectly tied hair did nothing to help Satoru focus on his friend's words. Suguru's face seemed to attract him like a magnet. The owner of the six eyes had all his attention on that pretty, sexy, tempting mouth but he couldn't force himself to listen to whatever words were going out of it.

"So now I- Mmmmh~"

Satoru pleaded guilty, he couldn't resist longer. He grabbed Suguru's neck and crashed himself into that unfairly handsome face. The contact was brutal, but the kiss was sweet and passionate.

And despite his big speech, Suguru couldn't help but close his eyes for a second and answer the kiss. However, he quickly gained back control of his body -and his mind- to push the insolent boy away with both hands. His face was even redder than after their first kiss. Which happened a few minutes prior. Hence the whole speech about NOT wanting to do it again. A speech that this brat blatantly ignored.

"SATORU," the teen with a bun scolded, a hand on his mouth as if it was going to protect him. Honestly, he wasn't very convincing when his voice shook so much. "NO !!! This- You- I said don't !!!!"

"Sorry, sorry," the white-haired one laughed. "But just so you know, it will happen again."

"What ?! No it won't ! This is NOT okay and I'm not letting you in ever again !!"

Satoru smiled, not feeling guilty for a bit. He licked his lips to remind himself of the taste of Suguru's delicious mouth, and he could see the way the purple eyes followed his tongue's movement with too much interest. His smile widened because Suguru was obviously lying to himself.

"Okay ~" He winked, then laughed harder when Suguru hurriedly left the room with a flustered face.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

[solradguy]

Kind of heavy.

The other day I saw a video of a Russian soldier surrendering to a Ukrainian drone. He had gaunt cheeks, his leg was covered in blood, he had wide, staring, eyes. Someone pointed out he was wearing a wedding ring. There were bomb craters all around him. He cowered when the drone got too close. He couldn't have been much older than me.

One of the comments said something sort of like, "In the early internet you would have to go to specific websites to see grievously wounded children, graphic footage from wars, the last words of condemned men. Now you can find it on the front page of every social media site. You can rewatch the death of a human being with a family at home, with hobbies and a favorite meal, from thousands of miles away through the eyes of machines, recorded in languages you will never know."

And we encourage others to watch these videos and look at these photos. Why? Who is it really helping? Is feeling like we're sharing in their suffering by watching and spreading them through some morbid sense of justice as good as actually doing something? It is good to be aware of these issues, we need to know what's going on in places like Ukraine, Lebanon, and Palestine right now, but man... I can't take this anymore

I'm sorry if I unfollow some people. There is only so much I can blacklist and some things still get through it. I've been in a pit this entire year and I hop online to catch up with friends and interests and it's just endless death and doom. I follow some world news outlets and still get updates on things that way, but I seriously need to make changes to my personal online spaces.

The drone video I saw yesterday and the comment with it have been rattling around my mind for a few days now. Watching these things isn't helping anyone or anything. I know things are bad, I know people need help. Making myself watch these anyway, like it's raising some "awareness" or something, is just making me depressed, cranky, and isolationist.

I hardly draw anymore unless someone pays me to. My 3D printer has a layer of dust on it. Translations I could have done months ago sit unopened in my editor. I've been kind of downplaying how bad this year has been but it has been bad. I don't think I've been in a headspace like this since I was in high school. I'm like a friggin cat and don't like it when people worry for me so I stay quiet about it and just get grumpy instead lol

I hate unfollowing people and breaking mutuals with friends, but I seriously need to, and I'm sorry...

I understand I really didn't need to make a post like this and could have just quietly unfollowed people, but I'm making it anyway to hopefully encourage other people in dark mental pits to make similar changes for the better to their spaces.

[bloodsalted]

lil update. some medical stuff, just so ya know! (long winded. sorry!)

// soooo. now that everything is settled and fine. i just wanted to pop a message up to say thanks to everyone for being so patient with me this past month. i had a pretty big health scare that i didn't really talk about unless it was privately to a handful of people. i'm talking about four. and barely anyone offline. most of which happened about a week before the final test because i don't like people worrying about me. it was the kind where a biopsy is done and all that jazz. waiting from one test to another and the results was a mental mind fuck to put it bluntly. with my ocd and anxiety/panic disorder being triggered mainly by my health? uh. it was a wild ride. i was up and down in my moods and carrying on as normally as possible but my brain was pretty much nonstop--that.

but!!! everything is clear and non-threatening and how my gut kept telling me it'd be. ahh mental health working against you tho. it's a bitch! took me even a week or so after the good news to start getting back into my head correctly! a nurse told me it was the adrenaline built up in my kidneys and leaving my body making it so tired! this week i'm FINALLY feeling back to my normal self. with a bit more of an appreciation for my family, friends and all my loved ones. and you guys and gals and non-binary pals, too! the dash was a blessing to occupy my time with. even if i wasn't writing. reading your posts always makes me happy. so if you're on my follow list? and part of my day to day?

this is just me saying thanks. i appreciate you all more than you know. and man. don't take your health for granted. take care of yourselves. get your check ups. and do what's right for your body. cause i love ya. i'm cleaning today off and on. but i'm planning on binging some supernatural and some spooky stuff once everything's how i want it and dusting off my writing brain as i go! did a lot of video gaming to try and fill up my brain when i was being quiet, too. but it's not the most creative thing in the world! so!!! catch up is coming! much love!

ps. it took me a while to post this cause i'm so so so freaking never wanting to give peeps a reason to worry. but i really wanted you guys to know what's up and why my activity has been so sporadic/focused on a small amount of things. give ya the ol' heads up. i know none of you expect a reason or whatever. i just thought i'd share. and give ya all a reminder that you're important.

[eldaryasharbinger]

The style contests are getting so upsetting.

This was my entry for the Punk Vibes theme.

I don't want to point fingers or whatever but why do people feel the need to copy others so much? Is it that hard to think and make your own entry? Do you all go check what others do to copy them?

The similarities are too many, and believe me or not when I say that I didn't even check other's entries before submitting my own (why would I need to check anyways for a theme I felt pretty confident in?? And if you don't believe me I can even show proof of me sending my entry to show my friend at 9:31 AM, right after the theme was available (and after taking my time designing the outfit)

It's very upsetting, to say the least.

Call me naive or whatever for wanting to believe in other people being good, but is it my fault for not thinking about getting copied until now, or is it the other person's fault for copying?

Maybe it could've been a coincidence but let's be honest, how much of a coincidence can this be?

I also want to add that these two entries got on the podium, while mine was position 18. (At least the first place was more original and cool too)

I'm angry at people who keep doing this, because it's definitely not the first time it has happened, but it's the first time it happened to me and I noticed, along with those who keep using those damn fairy wings, butterflies and sparkles everywhere. Do they not realize how they're ruining the game for everyone? Sure, it's just a game, but it's so annoying that they'll do everything to get these stupid rewards even if it means ruining the fun for everyone else.

What's the point of making my own outfit, spending time thinking about it (half an hour of planning!!) if some lazy person is just going to copy me and WIN?

It's so so upsetting, I feel bad making this post because again, I don't want to point fingers, but come on now!!!

At this point I'd say we should all just give up, but these people clearly do not care, and if we all just stop playing they'll just keep winning everything and we'll never get the change we need. If players can't behave on their own I wonder if we should start pestering Beemoov to make some changes to this very unfair minigame?

I'm waiting to post this until the podium is gone, but if you're one of these two people and you recognize what you've done, feel some shame and know that you've lost all of my respect, if you even care.

Day of the post edit: I may not be as angry as I was two days ago but this is still pissing me off ngl, I'm sorry if I come across as rude but I don't feel like sugar coating things too much anymore

[strawberrychampayne]

hi guys!! so back in March I got super into The Hunger Games. So much so that I started writing a Finnick fic. I was going to post here but got scared and posted on Wattpad at the time. I wanted to post something that I wrote here! I haven't updated that fic in forever I couldn't watch the movies anymore lol! Anyways let me know what you guys think!!

word count: 1183

this was originally an oc but I changed it just for Tumblr!

Y/N was working with the rope, trying to tie the perfect knot. It was something she struggled with. At home, she would have to triple check the knots she tied so a boat didn't float away. It had happened before.

She was playing with a new knot technique when Finnick came up behind her. His breath fanning across the back of her neck. His arms encasing her as he took hold of her hands.

"Here." He said, grabbing her waist when she jumped. A small laugh left his body. Slowly, he dragged his hands back to the rope. Y/N's face burned.

"I'm sorry, really sorry." He said though no remorse was present on his face. "Let me show you the best knot to know in the arena."

He was leaning his back against the table, looking at her with a glimmer in his eyes she'd never seen before. A feeling she hadn't felt in a while creeping up on her, making her body warm. Her eyes focused on his face.

"Don't look at me, look at the knot." He said, laughing. "Alright, this is the bit where it get complicated."

His hands moved with ease. Moving to tie the knot like he'd done it a million times. Maybe he had.

What he did next caught her off guard. Bringing the knot up she realized he had tied a noose. Pulling it over his head, he tightened it pretending it was choking him.

"Funny." she said, giving him a look.

"Do you want to take me for a walk?" He asked, moving to give her the rope.

Grabbing it she pulled him in. Her lips almost touching his, and finally she saw him crack. A blush was appearing on his face. She had the upper hand. Taking one hand she dragged it down his torso, nails scratching him.

"Maybe some other time, Finn. You know, when nobody else is around?" She said smirking before pulling away. Subconsciously his face tried to follow hers. Almost like a magnet, but she turned away.

"I've got work to do Finnick and so do you." She said, smirking over her shoulder.

"Yeah Y/N." He replied, slightly breathless. His head was a daze as he watched the sway of her hips as she left.

She felt eyes on her as she walked. Maybe it was because they had witnessed that whole thing, or maybe it was because they knew what she was capable of.

Y/N examined the other Victors. Watching to see what they all were talented in and where they lacked some.

Cashmere and Gloss were throwing knives at holograms. Johanna was swinging an axe around like a mad woman. Everyone was doing their own thing.

Y/N had found a spot near the tridents and spears. They had updated the training center a lot. There was now a simulator that allowed for different levels to be tried.

She set it to as high as it could go. She needed a challenge. Walking in with a spear in hand she took her place in the center. The first two came running at her from different sides. Leaning down she allowed one to take the other out and then she stabbed the second in the back.

Another came running from above her. Leaping in the air to land on top of her. She was quicker and launched the spear into the head of the hologram "killing it." Then she ran to grab it.

Two more came, one from above her and one on the same ground as her. She acted quickly as a holographic spear came at her. She dodged it by throwing her head back and then she launched her spear. Not having time to go grab it, she evaded the second holograms punches before grabbing it's head and snapping its neck.

With a few more holograms being taken out she had beaten it. Sweat was collecting on her brow and she knew she'd have to take a long shower after this.

Turning around she noticed a crowd had formed. Katniss and Finnick being the ones in front. She walked out with her head held high and stood next to Finnick, infront of Katniss.

"You should try it Katniss. It's honestly kind of fun." Y/N said, smiling softly at her. She didn't know why she was so soft with the young girl, maybe it's something she saw in her.

Katniss stared at her for a moment. Before walking in. Y/N watched as she set it 2 below what she had chosen. The girl on fire wanted a challenge.

Y/N noted how the girl skillfully took down her first few with her arrows. Her focus was lost however when she heard a whisper next to her.

"Del, I didn't think you could get more attractive then you already were. You proved me wrong, that might have been the sexiest thing I have ever seen." Finnick quietly said to her. The crowd was still around. Prying eyes were watching Katniss as she killed more and more with ease.

Y/N turned towards him slightly, giving him a look. A smile crept its way onto her face and her cheeks heated up. She didn't (couldn't) form a sentence after that. Why was he being so flirty all of a sudden? It was in his nature to flirt with people even those he was friends with but this felt different.

Turning back she saw Katniss beat the final hologram and successfully complete the level. Y/N felt proud of the girl. She knew she could hold her own, people just didn't seem to understand her yet.

As Katniss walked out, Y/N left Finnicks side. Rubbing her hand on his forearm as a way to say goodbye and make her way to the girl.

"That was amazing. You're so skilled." Y/N said.

She had finally gotten a genuine smile out of the girl, "Thank you."

A beat of silence had passed and then Katniss spoke up again. "I saw you volunteer for that young girl. That was really brave."

"Annie is one of my best friends back home. She deserves nothing but good things. It was the least I could do."

"Prim was my sister. If you teach me how to make a fish hook like the ones from your district I could teach you how to hunt." Katniss said throwing the girl another smile.

"Sure, thank you." Y/N began to explain how to make the fish hook. Katniss caught on quickly and learned within 20 minutes. Then they moved on to hunting.

"You want to try with me?" Katniss questioned her.

"I'd rather watch first."

"Okay, I'll go first."

She watched as the girl reentered the simulation. Y/N could pay attention better now. Katniss moved with grace.

Y/N had her second turn, this time with a bow. She wasn't as skilled with this weapon but she ended up beating the level switfly.

Before she and Finnick left the center she thanked Katniss for everything. She could feel a friendship blossoming.

[florbe-triz]

Dads for Teru Vash

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

[inkly-heart]

please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤

🌱

[cerise-on-top]

more team up tickles for shadow company and kortac but it’s just Reader getting attacked?

I wrote a Shadow Company fic on accident. Sorry. I'll post something for KorTac tomorrow, if I remember to do it. But even then, it'll only be Horangi and König. König because I love him, and Horangi because I've written team up tickles with him and König before.

Shadow Company Team Up Tickles

It’s not that unlikely that some of them would take a little bit after Graves. Some of them would be confident and cocky. Some of them would become rather touchy. Some of them would become playful. It’s not that uncommon for the Shadows to goof around a little bit. They’ll playfight plenty, and tickle fights are not unheard of either. Sometimes the Shadows make plans regarding who’s going to be their next victim. Usually it’s Graves, but sometimes their goofy boss joins in on the fun. However, today you seemed a little more on edge than usual. Although nothing in particular may have happened, you were still a little pissy. A few Shadows have approached you already, trying to soothe your anger with hugs, cuddles and kisses. Angry as you were, you turned them down. So naturally, more drastic measures needed to be used against you.

You were in the training room, silently seething as you stared at the punching bag. Could you really let out your anger like that? Or would it only be a gateway into something worse? You weren’t sure. With earphones in your ears, you opted for finding the right song instead. Something aggressive. Some form of death metal would do. Distracted by the device in your hand, you ignored the majority of the world, as you had been all day now. With a sigh, you could feel the anger rising yet again as you were unable to find the correct song to set the ideal mood. Had it been up to you, you would have thrown your phone on the floor and smashed it into a thousand bits and pieces. The music you were currently listening to wasn’t nearly aggressive enough. You needed something to rip heads off to.

A tap on your shoulder and you turned around. Met with a cocky smile, you were not quite in the mood to return it, you found yourself face to face with Phil, a few Shadows entering the training room behind him. Although you would have loved nothing more than to ignore him, you took out your earbuds.

“Looking a bit stressed there, sugar.”

“Phil, I am this close to killing someone. What is it?” Holding back a sigh, you counted the Shadows behind him. There were three. 8-4, 7-2 and 2-3. The three that tried to cheer you up today. You were fairly certain they were up to no good, even if you weren’t quite sure what they were going to do. Regardless, you wanted nothing to do with it.

Phillip slung an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “Just needed to cheer you up a little. Can’t have you sulking around all day, after all. Give us a smile and we’ll leave you alone.” There was quite a bit of strength to him, you likely couldn’t pull away from him if you tried.

“Nothing to smile about in my life. I’ll be fine, just leave me alone. I’m just gonna blow off some steam tonight and by tomorrow I’ll be back to my usual self, I’m sure of it.” On the one hand, you wanted to lean into him. On the other hand, you wished you could have just weaseled your way out of his grasp. In the end, you opted for staying completely still, letting Phil do as he pleased.

8-4 walked up to you, gently taking your hand in theirs and placing a kiss on top of it. “We’re gonna leave you alone once we’re certain you’re not gonna blow the place to smithereens. For now, just relax, we’ll take care of everything.”

7-2 was wearing her usual, cocky grin. Oh, she thought she was so much better than you. She had something planned. They all did. If you spent any more time with them, that’s when you were going to blow up the company and everyone in it. 2-3 seemed shy, as per usual. Had you not been so angry at nothing, you would have assured him that everything was going to be alright. Not that you understood how someone as anxious as him was such a capable soldier anyway. Sweet as he was, you couldn’t believe he was such a good leader.

Now it was 7-2’s turn to speak up as she made her way towards you. Standing still right in front of you, she put her hands on your hips. “Sweetie, you’ll be leaving this room with a big smile on your face, I’ll personally make sure of it.”

“And how are you going to do that, bastard? I woke up ready to murder someone.”

Slowly, she ran her fingers up your sides, tenderly holding onto your ribs. “I have my ways.” That twinkle of mischief in her eyes did not go unnoticed by you. And all of a sudden, it hit you.

“Don’t you fucking dare, asshole,” you snarled, baring your teeth. As much as you loved her, as much as you loved all of them, you couldn’t believe just how stupid all of them were.

“Oh, I think I will.” Her eyes showed nothing short of madness as she held onto your wrist. She was considerably taller than you, considerably stronger as well as a result. No matter how much you fought, no matter how much you struggled to break free, she slowly brought your arms above your head. “You’ve insulted me for the last time today. You’re gonna apologize to us all, won’t you?” Even as you tried to kick her, she did not budge.

Phil released you. “2-3, your turn. You’ll be starting off nice and slow. Maybe you can get our beloved little Shadow down onto the ground. You have two minutes. Make them count, soldier.”

“Fuck you! All four of you! I’m going to get my revenge on all of you once I get out of her fucking grasp. You dumb brute, I’m going to make sure to give you nightmares!”

You could merely watch as 2-3 placed himself behind you. He put his hands under your shirt, waiting another few seconds. “I’m sorry, but you kind of deserve this today.” And with that, he skittered his fingers over your sides. You jerked away from his touch, closer to 7-2. 2-3 was gentle, you wanted to punch him for it. Although you squeezed your eyes shut, you did not giggle. No, you were much stronger than that. What kind of soldier would break after the first few gentle touches? As he drew circles on your tummy, it quivered a little bit. No matter how close you pressed yourself to 7-2, he always found a way to get you there. When he ran his fingers across your back, you hid your face in 7-2’s shoulder.

“Damn, if you wanted a hug so bad, you could have just said so.”

“Shut- Shut up! I’m concentrating here!” That cunt honestly had the gall to hold both of your wrists in one hand, snaking her arm around your waist and squeezing your side rapidly. Unfortunately, that was enough for you to push her away, falling right into 2-3’s arms. As you stepped back, he placed a leg behind yours, making you trip. Although he may have caught you, he still lowered you onto the ground, making you even more vulnerable. Naturally, 7-2 took this as an invitation to straddle you. However, other than that, she did nothing. None of them did.

“Good job. 8-4, would you like to have a go solo? We’re all going to to wreck our little grump together afterwards.”

“Don’t you fucking dare humiliate me like that,” you growled, spewing poison at those snakes. They had the antidote to it, however, as they didn’t even flinch.”

“I’m gonna hold our little sugar cookie down, you do as you please, alright?” No matter how much you thrashed, no matter how much you tried to buck her off, 7-2 stayed right on top of you.

8-4, that bitch damned to an eternity in hell, kneeled down next to your feet, taking off your shoes. “You know, all of that could have been prevented easily. Just be nicer towards us next time and we’re gonna be nice to you too! Even though I think we’re being merciful towards you right now, we’re just making you smile, love!” And with that, they started scribbling away at full speed, never even once considering your feelings.

You tried to kick, you tried to thrash, but it was no use. Biting your lip so hard, you drew blood, you started to smile.

“Aw, darl, you’re looking mighty adorable with a smile on your face. It suits you!” You didn’t even notice as Phil knelt down beside you. “Just let the damn break, we’’ll all be happier if you do.” And with that, he dug his fingers into your armpits. You almost screamed when he did that. Clamping down your arms, curling your toes, it was soon too much for you and you actually started laughing. Grabbing Phil’s hands, you almost always missed. And when you did grab one? Bastard held your hand for a few seconds, giving it a few reassuring squeezes before going back to tickling you. “Look at you, you’re so cute. We should get you good like this more often.” He cooed. As much as you despised that fact, he sounded as though he was being honest. But then again, he wouldn’t be torturing you like this if he didn’t enjoy it.

Another two pairs of hands joined in, one tickling your ribs and your stomach, alternating between those two spots, and the other going for your other foot. One pair of hands was gentle, drawing small circles on your soles, gently caressing it, the other pair was rough, drilling into your ribs, vibrating there and being rather unrelenting.

“Will you apologize now?”

“You should laugh more often. We should do this more often!”

“I’m not being too rough here, am I?”

“No, if anything, you should be rougher. Hold the toes back like this and scratch like that.”

You screeched, tears welling up in your eyes. The sensation was overwhelming.

“PLEASE STOP!! I’M SORRY!! IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN!!”

And with that, all eight hands ceased their onslaught at once. Panting, you just lied there, eyes closed.

“You better not have pissed yourself.”

As much as you would have loved to retort with a “shut up”, you stayed quiet. If you had been rude, you might have had to go through this again.

“You cheered up now?”

“Yes, I’m… I’m sorry.”

You were being sat up and held against someone’s chest. Judging by their scent, it was likely Phil. Wrapping your arms around him, you hid your face in his shoulder. Although he may have been an idiot at times, your commander still stood for safety. He could always make the others go away, should he feel more merciful now. Another hand rubbed your back.

“We didn’t go overboard, did we?” You didn’t respond.

“Oi, fuckface, you do realize that just about the entire base would help you get back at us, right? You better keep that revenge close to your heart, I wanna get a good fight out of you next time.” Cunt. And yet you loved her for being so stupid. And yet you loved all of them, despite being the greatest morons on the planet. They were your morons, and you were theirs.

“Do you want me to bring you a snack? Maybe some water? Wouldn’t want you to be too exhausted, after all.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. But thank you.” Snuggling more closely into Phil, you slowly calmed down.

“Let’s get you to bed, shall we? Do you want me to carry you?” His voice was teasing, but you knew Phil would have carried you to bed if you said yes. It was tempting. Being in the arms of your strong commander sounded nice. But then again, a small snuggle pile with all four of them sounded ideal right about now as well.

You ended up heading to bed either way, surrounded by all four of them. Although they may not have joined you with sleeping immediately, making sure you were alright for the majority of the evening, they did eventually. You loved your boyfriends, your girlfriends and your partners. Although they were bastards, each and every single one of them, you could always count on them. On the battlefield as well as on base.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i think something that frustrates me about ted and rebecca even beyond the whole no-romance thing (crying forever btw 😢) is that they never really got to have a coherent storyline together again after s1 and the christmas episode, and uh ..... i think it would have been cool to have more of those shared between the two leads of the show. like, in a way, i think i would have been more okay with it not being shippy if they'd had more storylines and more of a definitive overall series arc together, because presumably then at least we would have seen them interact regularly enough and in a variety of conditions enough that i would've gotten more of a feel for why it wasn't a romantic thing and what, in fact, it was? i don't know! i just really wish they'd given that dynamic wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more to do and way more interest after s1. it just felt like they were deliberately written to be ships in the night, all the time, no harbor ever, which feels crummy. like, s1 sets them up to be very close friends with these parallel struggles, but then they barely have even a shared b-plot together ever again after the christmas ep. the closest thing is one shared scene followed up by one phone call in 3.08, right? and then the series finale, where they do actually finally have three whole related scenes together, shock of all time.

anyway. so weird. SO WEIRD! such a funky writing choice that i am not a fan of.

[winecovered]

I think i need a dni banner for this blog because my devotees (followers) are devolving 👎

[ticklepinions]

I promise you that you will not get arrested for changing your mind y'all. You can GROW and and rethink some of your past actions! Its normal, it happens. Easier said than done but you really don't need to publicly shame yourself for thinking a certain way. I get how internet culture has us overexplaining literally anything we do but you owe no one but yourself justification. It's okay to breathe and say yeah that probably wasn't a great way to think, change and move on 😭

Its so easy to go down the rabbit hole and turn a growing moment to a "I'm a horrible no good human being that deserves the worst things imaginable". Not saying that you're exempt from taking responsibility for your actions if they harmed other people but there are other ways of going about it that don't involve beating yourself up.

There's a post going around and I'm not gonna speak on it, but some people who really aren't the target audience are taking the brunt of it all and rethinking themselves as a human and I'm there like oh! That post really wasn't calling you out but okay! That's okay. We realized we need to change some things but it doesn't mean you're a terrible human. And these are literal sweethearts who keep to themselves panicking cause they thought they did something wrong. TRUST me the people that particular post is calling out is not about you. The fact that you're self reflecting is a huge sign you're not like that i promise you. Be kinder to yourselves y'all

[cordeliawhohung]