#sorry lol just feel like i should tag this one thoroughly

[yuri-is-online]

Same Anon here that dropped that mess of an angst post lol. Maybe I should find some name for myself if this becomes a regular thing.

There are a lot of valid points there. For as lightly as the story treats everything, wow this would be messed up irl. But I digress, I personally can see this potentially taking a much darker route. I don’t know if you’re comfortable talking about this so TW: Brief mention of suicide

I imagine Yuu to just bottle everything up for the aforementioned reasons of being seen as weak for expressing any of their emotions only for it to all come out in one big mental breakdown. I think it would be quite poetic for Yuu’s breakdown to be more of a quiet self-destructive thing just to contrast the showy, outwardly destructive nature of the overblots. I always thought it could be some spur of the moment decision to just end it all out of sheer hopelessness and a thoroughly crushed sense of self-worth. I just can’t see a teenager handling a burden this heavy very well. Whether or not Yuu survives could be up to how dark you want to go.

Also if it isn’t too much, I would like to see that post about the boys’ individual reactions to Yuu running away sometime. But I’m aware you only write for a few at a time so…

previous post

You are more than welcome to give yourself a name! I don't have any named annons so you are free to choose anything you like, and make regular appearances if that is what you wish. While I try to only write for a few characters at a time, I don't mind doing a bullet point type post with my thoughts on the boys reacting to Yuu running away sometime, but I need to think as part of me wants to write something sappy and romantic, while the other part wants to focus more on Yuu and their character. I could do both I suppose (￣ω￣;)

I'm fine with talking about suicide, but since it's a sensitive subject I am going to place my thoughts under read more and tag it so if it is something you, dear reader, are triggered by you needn't see more than you are comfortable with.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, discussions of suicide and depression, isolation, abandonment, and missing persons. This also kind of takes a trip into theory town I am so sorry annon. Please do not interact with the words below if you do not wish to think on such things.

I want to start out by saying that when a person is depressed it is not always obvious, even if they are contemplating suicide. We don't have a complete understanding of what drives someone to kill themselves because we can't ask people who have. I do think there is an element of assuming that either the world or you will be better off if you are dead; which I would like to stress simply is not true, but you are not evil for struggling with that feeling even if people try to make you feel like you are.

Yuu's breakdown being "more of a quiet self-destructive thing," as you stated dear friend, would be extremely poetic. To me it highlights the disparity between Yuu and the overblot boys. They have power and are able to hurt others to try and make themselves feel better, Yuu has next to none and is only able to hurt themselves.

Crowley mentions that there is counseling available to all NRC students, assuming the school follows real life laws we can assume the Professors are mandatory reporters. If Yuu shows signs of depression or self-harm, they will be required to report that and recommend Yuu for counseling, but the thing about therapy is that it's not a one size fits all solution. The patient needs to accept that they have a problem and, perhaps more importantly, trust their therapist otherwise you won't benefit from the treatment.

That's assuming that a counselor would even understand how to treat Yuu in the first place, there's a lot going on with their situation and while I could see a good therapist taking it very seriously, there's only so much they can do, which brings me to my sort of sticking point with this and why it took me so long to answer your ask.

Why in the hell is Yuu in Twisted Wonderland in the first place??? "Because they're Alice" ok sure but what does that like actually mean. I don't want to derail this into theory town but I keep thinking about the translated lines Crowley mutters to himself when calling Yuu a beast tamer that doesn't appear in the text box... something about how they look more like they are meant to be eaten by the beast than tame it.

There is a part of me that feels like Crowley wants Yuu to feel isolated and despondent about their chances of getting home, like he needs them to be accepting of their death and convinced it's the only way they will be useful. Something to do with Grim and that big Chimera at the beginning of the game, in the light novel there is someone telling Yuuya to take their hand but they can't move to take it, all they can do is stare up at the big monster and it's evil grin (if i remember correctly)

Anyway all of that to say I can see two sorts of scenarios leading to Yuu trying to harm themselves.

Route A: Summer

As was correctly pointed out in these tags on the original post, I think Summer would be the worst time for an actively depressed Yuu. If they have been seeing a counselor, they will likely not be available over the summer months, Crowley didn't take us on vacation with him the first time so there's no way he'll do it now, and everyone has their own families to get back to.

They only have Grim and the Ghosts. And while Yuu might love them, they technically belong here. Yuu does not. The lack of other friends bothering them means Yuu has time to think good and hard about where they are. And who they left behind.

I like to listen to Dateline while I work sometimes and one of the things that always gets to me is how little closure people feel when someone goes missing, even if they find out what happened to them. If Yuu is missing in their world and their family loves them... they just have next to no chance of ever finding that out. Ever.

If Yuu has a bad relationship with their family, or none at all, they probably start feeling like they are going insane. They have nothing worth going back to really, to the point that people would probably encourage them to see being in Twisted Wonderland as a good thing, a chance for a fresh start. But it has been anything but.

Summer would be a good time to run away, it's easier to be homeless in the Summer, plenty of places need part time help anyway, and Yuu can make a clean break from the school before anyone notices they're gone.

It's also a good time to decide you want to die. By the time your friends come back they will have already gotten used to life without you anyway.

.... i could see this making grim overblot tbh. He blames the school for taking Yuu from him and by the time everyone returns he is there. Waiting. The consequences of their actions given form.

A monument to all their sins.

Option B: Sacrifice

So back to theory tangent.

Grim and Yuu are one student. Crowley treats them as such, but what if he-

Or whoever the real final boss is

Need them to actually be one student.

So they approach Yuu, offer their sympathies. Tell them they know why Crowley cannot send Yuu home.

"Because you came here by dying, don't you remember? These events you have seen, all your misfortunes and troubles, they've all been like one big dream. What a terrible fate you've met... but no worries. I know how to set you free."

The strange masked man places his hand on your shoulder and guides you to the mirror. You see your reflection in it, for the first time you idly realize, hair spread out on the pavement with a halo of blood spatter about your sleeping head.

"You needn't be scared." the man's voice is calm, soothing even, so much so that you almost believe him when he says

"You've died once before, after all. You know exactly what it feels like, it will just be like going to sleep."

Sleep sounds good, even if you have just gotten done fighting to stay awake, so very good you nearly miss the creature's wicked grin spreading mockingly across the reflection of your peaceful face.

[vodika-vibes]

After a very thoroughly singling out my favorite smut prompts, I'd like to request: Either 20. “I’m gonna fuck you so good you forget all about that bastard.” or 5. “I can’t pull out when you wrap your legs around me like that.” (or maybe both? 👀) With a feral Hunter Sorry I couldn't decide 🫣 - I'm just down bad for him. Have a nice day

I'll Take Care of You

Summary: Hunter takes care of you when you fall apart.

Pairing: TBB Hunter x Reader

Word Count: 1492

Warnings: Smut, Reader has an abusive boyfriend, infidelity

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I don't know if I like this one. I think I might be to critical, but Hunter feels hard to write for me. Almost as hard as Tech. Dos it saw something about me that I have the easiest time writing about Crosshair? And now I actually do have to go, lol. My husband took a nap so I could write this.

You’ve been friends, or at least friendly, with Hunter for ages now. Since he moved with his brothers and younger sister to Pabu, actually. He’s always happy to offer his help around your house, though you’ve never actually asked for his help.

You like to joke that he has a sixth sense that’s directed towards knowing when you need help around your house.

He likes to joke that it’s called “big brother” senses, and that he just knows when the people closest to him need help.

And while Hunter is very attractive, and you kind of hoped for more than just friendship, his comment makes you think that you’re solidly in the kid sibling category in his mind. So you mentally shrug, and turn your attention elsewhere.

Which wouldn’t have been a problem, except when you did find a boyfriend, Hunter would scrunch up his nose whenever he came around you. Quietly, he admitted that you smell like your new boyfriend and it’s not exactly a pleasant odor to be exposed to.

And you felt so bad at the time, that you made sure that you showered whenever Hunter was going to come over, and you also made sure that your boyfriend never came over to your house. Should you have put Hunter over your boyfriend? Probably not, but you did.

It seemed to help, for a time. Hunter smiled a little more, and didn’t scrunch up his nose quite so much when he was around you. And it was going well…for a bit.

Until your boyfriend starts making demands. 

“Spend less time with the clones.”

“Spend more time with me.”

“If you loved me, you would let me move in with you.”

“If you loved me you would give me half of your paycheck.”

“Since you won’t let me live with you, it’s only right that you pay my rent.”

“I can’t believe you spend so much time with other men. Stop being such a whore.”

It’s…a lot. Too much, really.

And it all comes to a head late one afternoon, when Hunter’s helping you repair your broken sink. You’re putting your clean dishes away, and you drop a plate, and it shatters into pieces.

And you stare at the broken plate while Hunter moves to get a broom and tells you to stay put so you don’t get hurt, and you just fall apart. Hunter, being the godsend that he is, manages to pull you somewhere safe, and then he proceeds to ignore the broken plate in favor of comforting you.

And as he holds you and strokes your hair and tells you that it’s just a plate, that it’s not the end of the world-

You spill everything. Every cruel word. Every demand. Every little thing your boyfriend does that makes you feel worthless. And his hands stop moving. His hands rest gently on the top of your head, and your face is pressed against his neck, and you want nothing more than to hide in him, because Hunter has always been you’re safe place to land, but he’s not yours-

And then Hunter’s hands are on your shoulders, and he pushes you back, just enough that he’s able to see your face. You have tears in your eyes, and on your cheeks, and he’s so furious that his lips are pressed into a thin line.

But his touch is so, so gentle when he brushes a tear off your cheek with his thumb.

He scans your face for a moment, “Stars, I’m fucked.” Hunter mumbles, and then his hand slides to the back of your neck and he crashes his lips against yours. 

You’re surprised, but Hunter has always been your first choice, so it takes very little time for you to curl your hands in his shirt, and to kiss him back. 

He releases a noise that can only be called a growl and he walks you backwards until your back bumps into your bedroom door. Hunter uses his lips and teeth and tongue to devastating effect, and it takes an embarrassingly short amount of time before you’re whimpering and whining for him. 

He pulls away from you just long enough to open your bedroom door, and then his lips are on your neck, biting and sucking marks onto your skin, as he walks you backwards to your bed.

You squeak as you fall back on your bed, and you blink up at Hunter as he doesn’t follow you to the bed. Instead he stands over you, his gaze dark with desire, as he pulls his shirt off and throws it to the side. “We should stop,” He rumbles low in his chest.

You reach out for him, “Probably,” You agree.

He climbs over you, and crashes his lips against yours, his hands sliding under your thin shirt, his fingers gently exploring your body, “Wanted to do this for ages,” Hunter mumbles against your lips, “Thought you were happy.”

You tangle one of your hands in his hair, “You were always my first choice.” You admit quietly.

He closes the distance between you, short as it is. The next time he pulls away, it’s only for long enough to peel your shirt off, and toss it somewhere in the room, before attaching his lips to your collar, intent to leave marks everywhere you allow it.

“My perfect beautiful cyare,” He groans against you as he slides down your body, removing your clothes as he does so, “I’m going to fuck you so good, you forget all about that bastard.”

You release a quiet whine, and you lightly tug on his hair to pull him back up so you’re able to kiss him, something that he’s more than happy to go along with, based on how he curls an arm around you, and impatiently kicks how own pants off his legs, leaving them sitting on the edge of the bed rather than fully tossing them out of the way.

He grinds his hard length against you and a quiet moan falls from you, “Hunter, please.” Your voice is soft.

He rains feather light kisses all across your face, “I have you cyare.” Hunter promises, one of his hands sliding down your body to lazily slide between your folds, “You’re so wet, mesh’la.”

You press your face against his neck at his words, feeling a flush of embarrassment, and Hunter lets you for a moment, “Don’t hide from me, cyare.” he coos, “Love it. Love how wet I make you. Wanna spend the rest of my life making you feel amazing-” He murmurs into your ear, and then he lightly pats your hip, “Lift up a little, cyare. Need to remove these,” He lightly snaps the elastic to your underwear against your skin.

You squeak, but do as he asks, allowing him to slide the flimsy material down your legs and toss them to the side. 

The moment you’re both bare, he sits back on his heels and just stares down at your body. Hunter uses his hands to trail over the newly exposed skin, exploring you with his fingers and his eyes, and then he leans in to explore your body with his lips and tongue.

“I wonder,” He murmurs as his lips trail to your nipples, “Can I make you fall apart just like this.” It’s an absent comment, more to himself than you, and then his gaze meets yours, and you note the glimmer of mischief on his face. “I bet I can.”

And then his lips are around your nipple, and he takes his sweet time. Licking, sucking, and gently nips, paired with feather light touches across your thighs, and ghosting touches over where you need him the most-

It doesn’t take long for him to push you over the edge, his hair tight in your fingers and his name a prayer on your lips. 

But it’s not enough. And a sly smile crosses his face when you, breathlessly, tell him so. “Don’t worry, angel. I’m nowhere close to being done with you.”

**********

The following day, there’s a knock on your door. And you, too exhausted from your night with Hunter, don’t even stir. Hunter, however, does.

So he pulls on his pants, and he saunters to the door. And when he opens the door, he leans against the frame and smirks at your now ex. He doesn’t even bother to try and hide the marks you left on his body.

Hunter’s voice is very pleasant, even if it’s a little rough, “I suggest you walk away.” The ex flushes, and opens his mouth to say something, only to get cut off by Hunter, “You made her cry. You made her feel worthless. You’re lucky I haven’t shot you. Leave.”

Hunter watches him stalk away, and then shuts the door. Only to hear your soft voice from the bedroom, “Hunter?”

A slow smirk crosses his face, “I’ll be right back, mesh’la.” He calls to you.

[bg-brainrot]

WHaBFHtLA - Astarion x GN!Reader - Chapter 12: The Source of his Pain

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Elf!Tav)

Genre: Reincarnation, Angst, Mystery, Slow burn

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Canon-Typical Violence, references to past Astarion trauma, references to death and dying, lots of talking

WC: 3.3k words, 12/?? chapters

Summary: As you aim to leave and never look back, Astarion realizes that perhaps *he's* the one that made the mistake.

A/N: In case you were wondering, I planned this out like anime arcs lol. We had the memory arc, meeting Astarion arc, and this is the end of arc 3, which I lovingly called Astarion Feels Feelings.

Ao3 | [Ch11][Ch13] | WHaBFHtLA Masterlist

Astarion has spent the last 150 years of his life convinced of one unflinching truth: That his cold, unbeating heart was only capable of aching for one person. When that person died, so did, he presumed, his ability to feel that ache for any other.

In a prison deep below ground, with the sound of your parting words echoing in his ears and your tear-filled eyes burned into his vision, he is reminded of how fragile the truth can be.

Clutching his chest and staring at the door you closed in your wake, he mutters a string of curses to himself before moving into action.

__

“Are you following me to make sure I leave? Don’t worry, I’ve heard enough. I’ll be out of your life soon,” you say, not turning back to look at the man who stands just in the shadows of the doorway behind you.

He slips out of the darkness, into the hall, keeping a sizable distance between you. The vampire doesn’t say anything, and, in fact, you likely wouldn’t have noticed him were it not for the undeniably intentional noise he is making with each footstep. You know he could move silently if he wished, but he wants you to sense his presence– it’s an invitation to talk to him, one that you’re not inclined to take at this point.

“Or did you just want to make sure I was thoroughly torn to shreds?” you ask, continuing to walk down the hallway. “Consider me well and truly mangled.”

You were done shedding tears by now.

You’d cried the entire time you were escorted by Petras, ignoring his concerned, stumbling questions. As you navigated your way out of the spawn’s fortress, you thought of what an absolute idiot you’d been. How not a single part of this experience had been worth it. How you should have just stayed at home, reached maturity, and lived a regular, uneventful life back at Neverwinter.

You’d cried the entire time you traced the Bibberbang path back, pausing every few steps to wipe your tears lest you blow up. You thought of your family, how ashamed they would be that you’d come all this way for nothing. How you’d ignored them and made a fool of yourself in the process. How you were yet another cautionary tale for young, naive elves now.

You’d cried the pathway back to the house, before it dwindled into sniffles at the long ladder before you. You thought of Halsin and how he’d believed in you, assured you that Astarion would see you for who you are. How you’d promised him to visit with Astarion someday. How you clearly didn’t deserve to share a soul with the Hero of Baldur’s Gate.

Your tears finally dried up on the ladder, as you went rung by rung all the way back to the surface. You thought of your former self, wondering how they left this man in such a sorry state. How they’d sent you on this journey with their memories, made you care for the man they loved, filled your head with delusions of romantic grandeur. How maybe the dreams were worthless anyway, and you only saw things the way you wanted to see them.

Your eyes were red and puffy but dry by the time you went back to your former room to collect the rest of your belongings. Now you finally allowed yourself to think of Astarion. How the man of your dreams turned out to be a nightmare in the flesh. How no amount of unearned love would help him. How you shouldn’t be the one to help anyway.

So now that this man stalks behind you, burning holes into your back with his gaze, you can’t bring yourself to care. Don’t want to care.

“Are you really going to keep stomping after me after all that?” you ask, exasperation clear in your voice as you stop walking once more.

Finally, he speaks. “You really have the same soul… don’t you?” His voice is soft, and you can hear the same fear you saw in his eyes back in the cells.

You shrug. “I thought it didn't matter.” You turn back toward Astarion now, anger coloring your next words, “And, since it doesn’t matter who I am, please stop following me.”

Now that you can see his face, the sadness in his eyes is unmistakable. His lips curl into an anguished smile as he says, “It doesn’t matter. Not really. I’m not the same man your soul met all of those centuries ago.” He takes a shaky breath and continues, “And I'm certainly no longer the same man who held your soul’s body in their dying breaths 150 years ago. That man died with his love that day.”

His words come from a place of honesty, but they don’t hurt any less. “Thank you for confirming that it doesn’t matter,” you reply through gritted teeth, trying to understand why he would take extra time to torment you. “Now since I’ve already said my goodbye, I hope you don’t mind if I just leave.”

“Please,” the word comes out short, caught between breaths. “I know I likely don’t deserve it, but if I could have just a few minutes of your time.”

You want to say no. Every piece of your body and mind screams at you to say no. But as it always was with this man, you were thinking entirely with your heart and soul. “Only one minute.”

He sighs in relief, and the words come pouring out of him, as if he’d been bottling them up the entire journey back from the Underdark. “I can be rash, I can be difficult, and gods know that I can be spiteful– but I know that after three centuries of being my own man, I am nothing if not enduring.”

You wonder where he’s going with this, and contemplate asking when he takes a breath and looks at you. Something about the way he stares, as if he’s finally seeing you, not as another mad person at his doorstep, but as a real, genuine person, gives you pause.

“When I see you, I don’t know what to feel,” he says, running a hand through his hair in a nervous habit you recognize from your memories. “My survival instinct tells me to run, to hide because you are a source of pain. And some part of me, I don’t even know which, tells me to let you stay in my house. It tells me you can’t come to any harm. It tells my heart to burn when you cry.”

A lump forms in your throat, and the tears you’ve only just mastered build beneath your eyelids. After a heavy swallow, you ask, knowing full well the answer, “Which part seems to have won out so far?”

“You’re right,” he says, hand clutching at his chest now. “I don’t like pain. I’d much rather inflict it, as I’m sure you’re well aware.” The vampire gives a dark chuckle before continuing, “So I’ve spent years trying to endure, to make sure that no one could hurt me. Not anymore.”

“Then, please, allow this source of pain to leave your life,” you say, taking a small mock bow, ready to stomp down the stairs in a huff. “I’m sure your minute is up.”

He’s taking strides toward you before you can finish your bow, his face set in determination. “Impatience must be part of the soul. Before you cut me short on time, let me finish.” He stops a few feet from you, staring at you intensely. “What I’m trying to say is… I wasn’t even aware that I could still feel this pain toward someone. I didn’t know how you managed to slip through my defenses, and I was afraid to find out.”

You stare back, your resolve to barge out of his house in a frenzy suddenly wavering with his piercing red eyes on you. His words settle into you as you wonder what he’s trying to say. “So, you believe me. But it doesn’t matter. Also, all I do is cause you pain, and you hate that?”

His own words summarized on your lips seem to be too much for him as he sighs up toward the ceiling. “Yes, I suppose if you’d like to condense my words in such a crude fashion, that’s all strictly true.” Astarion looks back down at you, face serious, as he says, “I think I’m saying that I’d like to start over.”

The last two days are fresh on your mind, the tears that you cried likely still stain your cheeks, and yet something about the simplicity of starting over makes you want to forget them as easily as he suggested. “I think I would like that,” you say, and when his expression seems to lift at that, you hold up a hand. “But, I’m still concerned. I didn’t come here intending to be a source of pain, and I don’t want to be that for you.”

“Don’t worry about that,” he says with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“How could I not?” you ask, shaking your head with a furrowed brow.

Astarion tilts his head toward you conspiratorially before pulling at each one of your heart strings painfully once more. “The owner of that soul has already been the deepest source of pain for me for decades. What’s another drop in the bucket?”

“Astarion, I–”

“I’m an old man, darling,” he interrupts, and it’s clear it’s not meant to be self-deprecating. It simply sounds tired. “I’ve spent centuries under a cruel master, I've buried countless friends, and seen those whom I consider family die. But nothing– and I mean nothing–” The word comes out as a harsh growl. “Compares to the pain I felt when I lost my love. I don’t know if that pain will ever leave me. So don’t worry about me.”

You’d been there for the end, and heard the very same pain in his voice. You have no doubts that he only speaks the truth, but you’re unsure what to do with it. Your own anger dulls in the face of the memory, and you find yourself wondering how you could show up at his doorstep, forcing these memories back to the forefront of his mind. In order to truly start over, you’ll have to apologize for that.

“I know,” you end up saying after a moment of silence. “While I can’t truly relate, I recognize that it’s an agony like no other. I’m sorry for rushing into this when I couldn’t possibly understand it. I’m sorry for reminding you of it, and for any new hurt I’ve caused through my hasty actions.”

The vampire before you seems to be about to respond to your apology, perhaps with one of his own, when he pauses as if something’s just struck him. Abruptly, he poses you a question, “How old are you?” He seems afraid to ask, pursing his lips ever so slightly.

“Nearly a hundred,” you answer, noting his visible relief. “I actually wanted to come sooner, but I… well, I was told it would be a bad idea.”

Astarion laughs at that and you frown in response, unsure what to make of this man’s temperament quite yet. “It was a terrible idea. Now I’m wondering if the soul is in charge of making decisions, since my love was full of terrible ideas. In fact–” He stops talking, the warm smile that had crept on his face frozen in place. “Nevermind. I won’t bore you with well... your own past.” 

You can see the hurt on his face, as though he’d been unprepared to relive the memory that came unbidden, been unprepared to open up again so suddenly. Already you were a source of pain. “To be fair, I didn’t experience everything,” you clarify tentatively, feeling the need to reassure him, to help him understand that these memories could be a source of happiness. “You’re welcome to share if you’re comfortable.” 

He shoos the thought away like an annoying fly. “Forget that. You’re a hundred?”

Furrowing your brows, you nod. Is he about to make fun of my age? Am I too young?

“That means your soul was only at rest for half a century.” He tilts his head with a wry smile. “Of course, you wouldn’t sit still, you absolute menace.” He says it in such a soft, loving tone, you know it isn’t meant for you. You wonder how he ever planned on pretending he didn’t love your past-self, but decide not to ask– instead choosing to bring him back to the present.

“Not to interrupt you, but why does it matter how old I am?”

Astarion clears his throat, returning to the matter at hand. “Apologies, when you mentioned being unable to relate, I grew worried. I simply must have pegged you correctly when I called you a scholar.” The grin he gives you is tepid, as he hears the half-lie in his own statement.

Scholar was putting it too lightly. His previous words ring through your head, just one of the harsh statements he’s flung at you, ‘What are you? A pampered scholar, deigning to leave your little tower for a night of entertainment?’ You wince remembering it. “While I am a scholar, I do take offense to being called pampered. As well as many of the other things you’ve said so far.” You’re proud of how firm your voice is, and you cross your arms to emphasize your point.

“Right, that’s understandable.” He looks away from your searing glare, and clears his throat once more. “I do appreciate you showing up here, even if I’m somewhat unprepared for it. I didn’t know how to react to you. Ultimately I was too severe, and for that. I’m…” He takes a deep breath and meets your eyes once more. “Sorry.”

You stare at him for a moment, wondering what to do with that awkward and somewhat unapologetic apology. Despite the part of you that is somehow still enraptured by this silver-haired devil, that deeply wants to welcome the lackluster apology, you manage to leave it at a simple, “I appreciate that.”

“Good,” he says with a relieved sigh, as if you’d accepted his apology.

You decide not to correct him, and instead press on now that you’ve both apologized for your actions. “So where does that leave us?”

“To be completely honest with you,” he starts, and his red eyes meet your eyes in a sort of plea. “I meant it when I said I’m not really the same person anymore. I don’t know what you hope to achieve or if what you hope to achieve is even possible.” The sorrow in his voice runs deep, and his hands clench at his sides, as if he can't believe how frustrated he is at himself. 

“I don't know either,” you answer, looking away from him as the weight of his turmoil comes crashing down on you. Clearly just trying to return to a life together was out of the question– you’re not even certain if you even want that with this man anymore. Though there is one thing that still guides you, as ever. “But I should like to at least do right by my past-self. I don’t know why I received the dreams I did, but I do know one thing.”

“What’s that?” Astarion asks, looking at you with a quirked eyebrow.

“That my past-self was… worried about you. Even if you don't want to be with me, I want to make sure you’re okay. If only for them.” Then, as if to add context to the statement, you continue, “It sounds odd, maybe it’s even egotistical? But I care about them almost as much as I care about you.”

Your words hang between you both for a moment. Belatedly you realize that, while you’ve thought it plenty, even told him repeatedly that you are his former-lover, you’ve just told this near-stranger that you care about him.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean–” you cut your words short, wondering if there’s any point to trying to diminish it. Because, while you don’t know if it’s love, you do care for this man in a way that extends past all reason. It shows in your actions and your words, in the fact that you stayed here and listened to him despite it all– so much so that there’s really no use hiding it. “No, that’s not true. I don’t know if I love you, but I do care about you.”

Astarion looks torn and your honesty seems to have shocked him into silence once more. “I truly don't know if I’m capable of love again,” he finally states, an unmasked desperation to his voice– afraid that he may very well be broken beyond repair, afraid of the rejection that’s bound to follow. “Is that… alright?”

A beat passes between you as you digest his words. After the pause, you simply say, “Okay.”

“Okay?” he repeats, brows furrowing in concern.

“Yes, that's okay. I don't need love,” you say with a single firm nod. Unsure if that’s too harsh, you add, “Not while I don’t even know you. I think for now I'd like to just get to know you, the real, present-day Astarion.”

“In that case,” he begins, shoulders visibly dropping as he releases the tension he’d been holding since following you back into his house. “Would you give me the chance to learn who you are as well?”

You give him another nod, this one with a small, tentative smile. “I’d like that.”

“Very well.” Astarion gives a soft sigh, taking in your packed bags and placement on the edge of the stairs. “I know I hardly have the right to ask this after well… all of this. But would you like to stay here for a bit? We can spend some time together.”

He invites you to stay so casually, you almost find yourself agreeing immediately. It is what you wanted, after all. But after everything that’s transpired, you know that you should stop leaping into situations like this heart-first. “Are you sure that’s the best idea?” you ask, giving him a concerned grimace. “I appreciate the offer, truly, but it seems like this place may house too many… difficult memories.”

The vampire gives you a sad, understanding smile before shaking his head. “Perhaps, but it was still our home.” When he says ‘our’, you know he doesn’t include you in particular. “It may even prove to be helpful.”

Your eyes search his somber red gaze for any inkling of a ruse. When you find nothing, your already weak will crumbles. So you gulp, and say, “In that case, I’ll stay.”

“Excellent,” Astarion says, clasping his hands together. Then, as if remembering himself, he adds, “But only until the end of the month.”

You’re confused and concerned at having a time limit, and you’re about to say something when Astarion holds up a hand.

“It’s nothing personal. I have to go visit Gale for his ridiculous birthday celebration and I'm not leaving someone, even if they are the reincarnated soul of my past lover, alone in my house. Especially now that they’re a damnable wizard.” Then under his breath he adds, “Of course you were reborn as a wizard. Just to add insult to injury.”

You ignore the comment about your magic, choosing to focus on the much more shocking piece of information, “Gale’s still alive?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Out of everyone, how are he and Halsin the ones I’m stuck with.”

Despite his flippant response, you get the sense that he’s closer to Gale than to Halsin if he’s attending his birthday, but you decline to comment. Instead you only say, “Alright then. One month.”

One month. That should be more than enough time to right the wrongs you’ve done to each other, learn who the other is, and figure out where to go from there– right? 

[resowrites]

Bell Ringers - oneshot.

Summary: Henry’s taken aback by a surprise revelation…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Girlfriend!OC

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, dialogue heavy, language, pet names, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 1230

A/N: *Sigh* Let’s see if this one manages to stay under tags lol If not then enjoy while you can!

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Bell Ringers - oneshot.

“Oh bollocks and arse.” Henry lowered the PC back onto the desk and stood observing it for a moment. “Well there’s nothing for it, I shall have to fetch Lady Cavill.” He plodded into the hallway, turning his head from side to side. “Ollie? Ollieee... where is she? Ollieeeeee...” Still no reply. “MRS CAVILLLLLL!” A minute or two later he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. “Hark, a woman draws near...”

“What you foghorn?! I was upstairs making up the bloody bed. And Mrs. Cavill’s your mum.”

“… Oh yeah, I never thought of that. And no you weren’t, you’re eating crisps.”

“I was taking a break.” Henry laughed.

“Well now I require your assistance.” He swept his arms toward the den.

“For what? Henry, I don’t have time for any naughtiness—”

“No, no naughtiness, though it’s a task of equal importance—”

“I can guarantee it isn’t. Now be gone, I still haven’t started dinner—”

“Alarming though that is, I really do need your help.” She groaned as Henry led her by the hand and into the den. 

“… Why’s your PC on its side? Did you slam a door too hard?”

“No, it went kaput while I was gaming so I tipped it forward to have a look at the wiring and a cable’s slipped down one of the shafts. I need you to try and fish it out.”

“What? Why? You’ve got small enough hands, you do it—”

“Whoa, hang on… did you just say I have small hands?” She stopped still, blinking at him.

“Well, not small exactly. More... slender.” Henry’s mouth fell open.

“Slender?!”

“Mmm.” She shoved a thick stack of crisps into her mouth.

“I... I don’t believe this...”

“I mean to be fair, the rest of you is rather large… so that doesn’t help—”

“No, don’t backtrack, have you always felt this way? Or did someone point it out to you?!”

“… I think the better question is how do you not know the answer to that?” His eyebrows almost hit the ceiling.

“Are you being serious?!”

“Oh for God’s sake, they’re not sideshow small—”

“No, just small enough for you to avoid saying anything for nearly ten years!”

“Well I didn’t want to rub it in.”

“Right, well thanks for all your help, don’t worry about dinner.” Henry picked up a screwdriver and began to undo the casing.

“Wow, are you that upset? Well I can’t leave you to starve, here have some Frazzles…” She held out the bag of crisps. “There we are, stick your little fingers in there.” He let the tool clatter onto the table.

“Okay, apologise please.”

“For what?”

“For this affront to my manhood.” She clucked her tongue. “No, I mean it. You have before you a man so masculine he could even impregnate himself, and all you can do is make blithe statements.”

“Do manly men say ‘blithe?’” Henry pursed his lips. “And I don’t know that fiddling with a computer best illustrates your point…”

“I’m not fiddling with it—”

“No… more like tinkering.” He tried to wipe the smile from his face.

“Say sorry.”

“No, you didn’t hesitate to tell me I’ve got a big arse, so why should I? Although now that I think of it, it probably just feels bigger cos you can’t get a proper grip.”

“Well carry on and it’ll be getting a smack.”

“Except I won’t really feel it will I?”

“Yes you will. Trust me.”

“Nah. It’ll be more like a slight pinch… which is fine as I’m used to a tiny prick.”

“Alright, out. Now.” 

“Why? You said you wanted my help?!” 

“Not anymore. Off you fuck.” Henry signalled towards the door.

“What? Are you pointing at something? I can’t tell.” He looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. “Oh darling, it’s really just a matter of perspective. I mean, if you took up the piano you could get really good...”

“Mm-hmm. If you’re gunna stick around hand me that duct tape.”

“What for?”

“Your gob. And this wire, come hold it for me.” She dutifully obliged, taking her time to look over his features.

“What? What flaws have you discovered now?”

“Were you after a list?” Henry tutted. “You know you really are making a fuss over nothing. You’ve got plenty of role models. What’s that Paul Newman film? Small Hand Luke?” He sighed.

“It’s Cool Hand Luke. Right, let me just align the casing and we’ll see if this bloody thing turns on.” 

“Righty-ho. Use both hands.” 

“Ollie, that’s your last warning.”

“Or what?”

“Okay, you asked for it.” Henry finished tightening the last screw and stood back to admire his handiwork. 

“… Oh my God, am I trapped in here? I can’t get my hand out!”

“Oh, that’s odd. Tell me, can you see these now?” He stuck two fingers up at her.

“Henry, let me out please—“

“Nope.” He pilfered the pack of crisps off the desk and made for the door.

“Wait! If you don’t let me out, who’s gunna do dinner?” Henry shrugged.

“I’ll get pizza.”

“But what about me?!”

“Well if you’re good I’ll bring you the crusts.” She sighed. “You could, of course, just apologise…”

“Never.”

“Nighty night, then.” Once again he headed for the door, this time stopping to turn off the light.

“HENRY!”

“What?”

“Don’t leave.” 

“Why not?” Henry still hadn't turned the light back on and all she could hear was him munching away in the dark.

“… Cos it’s scary.” He chuckled.

“Then say sorry.”

“Okay, just turn the sodding light back on and let me out!” Henry did as he was told, though he held down the casing once it was finally unscrewed.

“Well?” She sighed again. “Come on, I know you’ve got it in you. Dig deep.”

“… I’m sorry Henry.”

“For what?”

“For making the observation—“

“Nope. Try again.”

“For saying you have small hands. Though true, it wasn’t my place to point it out.” He shook his head and began screwing the casing back in place.

“Okay, okay… you’re right. Size is subjective.”

“Yes, but we both agree my hands are massive, both in proportion to my body and generally speaking. As are my cock and brains. Correct?” She pursed her lips.

“… What about your balls?”

“Ollie—”

“Can’t we just meet halfway and say average?” 

“No, cos that would be untruthful.”

“Fine. Just let me out.”

“Ah-ah. Apologise one last time. God knows when I’ll get to hear it again.” She took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry…” Henry smiled and finally released her. “That you’re small.” She tried to dart around him, but he was too quick and lifted her into his arms. “PUT ME DOWN KNOBHEADDD.”

“Nope. Come on now, don’t wriggle! Stop, stop, stop. Shhh, you’re not getting away!” Though she certainly tried. “Shush now, there we are,” Henry rocked her gently back and forth, “if you needed attention all you had to do was ask for it.” She gritted her teeth.

“Henry I will bite you.”

“No you won’t. Gimme a kiss and I’ll let go.” She wriggled harder and managed to get one foot on the floor. Eventually, she wrestled free.

“Ha! You can’t even handle me with two hands!” She staggered her way to the door, breathless but triumphant. “Oh, and your feet are small too.” Moments later he was carrying her over his shoulders. 

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@elizabetharegina @fanfictionaddiction99 @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69

[spacebeyonce]

Sorry for dumping in your inbox again haha, but anyways-- just rn I came across a post on my dash about how it's the reader's duty to check tags, and that you shouldn't attack fanfic authors for "writing stuff you don't like" (ie proship nonsense lol), and while I do agree that it's always important to check tags thoroughly; I kept thinking about how many times I came across disturbing content, that WASNT tagged, and it was making me think, "if this wasn't tagged, don't I have the right to be upset about it being included?"

For example, my special interest is specifically Kaeya, an Indian character from genshin impact. On the rare occasions that I read fanfic, it's usually one shots of them-- however SO many fanfics end up describing kaeya in the most racist or fetishy way imaginable, or have characters say or do racist things towards them! And look-- I can handle kaeya fics involving racism (hell, I even write some for my friends and I to discuss!!!), however those fics are usually exploring racism as a THEME, and how it impacts the character! Most fanfics though? Absolutely don't do that!! And the racism is literally NEVER tagged!! There's no warning of kaeya being called a fucking "caramel twink" or have their brother say racist shit to them! There's none of that! Idk...

TL;DR ppl don't understand that you can't trust authors to tag everything/not to be pieces of shit, and that it shouldn't be reader's fault for stumbling across untagged shit that upset them + genshin fans suck ass lol

oh don't apologize! I enjoy talking to new people!

but yes most fic writers are fucking atrocious when it comes to tagging, and oh how they bristle when you ask them to tag something more appropriately. it's why the 'creator chose not to warn' tag is so....pointless to me??? that shit is my enemy. like warning readers about a topic or theme that might trigger them is common courtesy imo. and if your story can't stand without you making the triggering content be a surprise then like...that's a skill issue I fear. it's always 'fic writers don't owe you anything' and all this attitude but then that attitude is gone when our hard work isn't recognized the way we want.

like I can understand being like 'fic writers don't owe you anything' when it's someone that's telling you the direction your story should go, or constantly demanding updates and not like....idfk interacting with this thing you're making as it comes. I get that! but this is kinda supposed to be a community, and communities build each other up and call us in when needed...so maybe we should be open to more than just blind uncritical praise. but what do I know!

but yes, they are never, ever going to tag for racism like that. when it's how you write it, in EXPLORATION AS A THEME then hell yeah it'll be tagged. but when it's racial fetishization, or an irrational bashing fic towards a character of color...no, no. that'll never get tagged. you can certainly bring up why it's hurtful to the author, but chances are high that won't go suuuper well. 'cause I mean...the last few weeks have really reminded me that when it comes to racism fandom is just stupid as hell about it so what else can we expect lmao.

but yeah I feel your pain so hard. every time I hear about the genshin fandom it's when they're doing something racist so. I'm sending a prayer up for your strength lmao. I hope you've got a good community of color around you there because man it sure helps you feel less fucking insane.

[voxofthevoid]

Hi Vox! Is me, werewolf anon. How you been? Hopefully feeling better from your sickness?

I took your advice and started reading "The way it follows you home" and so far it's been a fun ride! Past Gojo being jealous of Future Gojo over Future Yuji is adorable lol. Also your "Itadori sensei" seems so much more responsible than Gojo ever was! But I must admit my favorite part was Future Yuji giving the watch to Past Nanami. Even though for this Yuji, Nanami has been dead a thousand years, he still misses him so much. I thought you wrote that wistful nostalgia and pain really beautifully and I'm glad that Past Nanami understood how significant this gesture was. Good job! I'm looking forward to you finishing the rest!

And I usually don't wade into ship discourse because I find it exhausting but I read you've been getting some negativity and I'm so sorry to hear that. I truly don't understand why people want to invest that much time and energy into shitting on other people's likes when they can just focus on what they like. The tags are RIGHT THERE. The back button is RIGHT THERE. It's the reader's responsibility to set their own boundaries. The whole point of AO3 caters to that.

Also I really appreciate how THOROUGHLY you tag. You even expand on the author notes. So these haters literally have no excuse! For example, I tend to stay away Noncon and am selective about dubcon. I'm really grateful the care you put into first warning the readers because then I can make my own choice if I am in a headspace to read it.

And I want to emphasize that I think you should write whatever the hell you want because it's YOUR space. Just like it's MY job to create the online experience I want.

THAT BEING SAID...you are definitely the author I go: "Hmm...I usually don't read fics with this tag but I'll try it because it's Vox." 😂 Like the captured mermaid Bucky fic. Oooh yeah I definitely did a thousand yard stare after to process that one lol! But I love how your fics help me get out of my comfort zone and explore in the safety of fiction. And no surprise, I've loved every single one.

So what I'm trying to say is, you do you. I think there's many readers who are grateful for all your hard work.

Here's a token of my appreciation. It's not much but hopefully it puts a smile on your face. Once again cursing Tumblr for being unable to attach an image file on anon asks! Take care!

https://u.cubeupload.com/Anon9000/Xu1nOV.png

Hello there!

Ahh, I’m glad you’re liking that fic so far! It’s close to the end. Penultimate chapter will go up in a few hours, and the final chapter will be out in Feb, the cosmos willing. Gojou reacting to his own self entertains me endlessly, so I keep writing it. Two versions of that…very loud personality existing at the same time in each other’s vicinity would have one hell of a blast radius, and putting Yuuji squarely in it is one of my favorite things to do in JJK. And I do write Yuuji as a more responsible teacher than Gojou, true! But you can guess that his decency and restraint rarely last.

Not over Nanami’s death yet, huh? Mood though 🍻 It’s great to know that was your favorite scene! And I'm glad the emotional elements came through well.

Stay safely out of ship discourse, my friend. It ain’t worth it. It tends to come find me, but ah well. In JJK, it’s not even ship discourse that keeps haunting me; it’s fucking top–bottom discourse. I haven’t run into anyone pissy about my choice of Le Problematique ships yet (and I sure hope it stays that way). And top/bottom is one of the few things I don’t tag, solely because several instances of hypocrisy in general fandom pissed me off and I’m spiteful on a good day, but it’s also not something that’s hard to figure out. Those familiar with me know I stick to a single dynamic, and others will learn. Otherwise, there’s trusty CTRL+F. That all aside, I’m glad you like my tagging practices! I try to make it so that those who want spoilers/warnings will be able to access them, while those who don’t can hide the additional tags and ignore my drop-down warnings.

I did do a double-take when you said you tend to avoid noncon and then name-dropped the captive mer!Bucky fic—but in a good way! I can’t tell you how wonderful—that’s not a strong enough word, really—it is to know my fics can be that kind of a safe exploration for you. That’s hands-down one of the greatest compliments I’ll ever hear about my stories 💗

And don’t worry, I’ve mostly found very lovely people in fandom. JJK is a little more obnoxious about certain things than I’m used to, but the vast majority of my readers and fellow fans are kind, supportive, and delightful. I’m prone to getting pretty pissed off when assholes pop up in my inbox, but it usually leaves me ten times as determined to keep doing my thing.

I LOVE THAT YUUJI! Holy shit, he’s adorable. I want to pinch his cheeks and also eat him 🥺

I've saved that to my fanart folder for future pick-me-ups. Thank you so much! You’re a sweetheart 💗

[ramblinguitar]

Happy Saturday from your Secret Santa 🎅. I am doing well. How are you doing today?

And thank you! Hopefully this message is just as lovely 🥰.

In regards to Etsy, what made you decide to start selling on there, and what do you find to be your most popular items? My degree is in art, and I like to draw and paint, so I'm thinking handpainting items to sell on there. I just have to make a supply of thing haha.

I also see you like to write! I enjoy writing some too. What kind of things do you generally like to write about? And are your writings available anywhere to read?

I have a soft spot for Nirvana too from my high-school days. I listened to them alot. I know some Soundgarden songs, but admittedly, I haven't delved too deep into their catalog. That's something I know I should do though. Do you have any song recommendations by them?

What other kinds of hobbies do you have? Or things that just interest you in general?

Sorry about the plethora of questions I just dumped on you! I like asking questions 🤣

I will be stopping by again soon, and I hope you have an amazing day! 👋

Hello! I’m so sorry this took me a bit to get to (and no it isn’t too much at all! I thoroughly enjoy it, I wanted to give it time bc of the recs, and then I got busy, and forgot).

For Etsy - I’ve never had like a ‘best seller’, or anything. If one sold more than all the others, it would probably be the Loki one. It was intended for more of a pagan audience, but I’m pretty sure it’s mostly hit the marvel demographic 🤷‍♀️

I think that’s a wonderful idea! I’m also into art (wanted to go to college for it, but didn’t). What medium do you enjoy best? If you intend to sell your works, I’d start with a mix of prints and originals/canvas. And maybe a few stickers. Start with around twenty-twenty five items. Make sure you charge fairly! It can be challenging doing that, and feel like it’s ‘too much’, but you deserve to be paid fairly for your work and time. I’m speaking from experience on that because I didn’t charge properly at first, wanted to make them accessible to everyone as much as possible, and didn’t make enough to meet the cost of materials which I almost had to close the shop over.

I do! Writing has always been a passion of mine. I’d like to publish one day, if I can manage it. I have some works up on here! You can view @skohliwrites for a few poems and one short story. I have others under the #mywriting on this blog. If they don’t show up, let me know, I’d be happy to repost something for you, if you’d like!

I generally writing in the sci-fi fantasy genres, both YA and adult. I also like historical fiction. My current favorite author would probably be Pierce Brown off the top of my head, whom wrote the Red Rising series. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend!

What genres do you like to write in, or read?

Ooo, I love giving song recs 😂 there’s a tag for it here, too! Feel free to give it a browse - #musicrecs

Here’s a few of my favorite Soundgarden songs, in no order:

And from Chris’ other band, Audioslave, because I need you to hear these vocals:

My other hobbies include playing guitar, being out in nature, reading (that might’ve been a given), crocheting, cooking, and I’m sure there’s some others lol what about you? What’re your hobbies?

Have a wonderful day 🎅! Until next time!

[windvexer]

just scrolled through some of your account after serpentandthreads recommended you! cant say i was disappointed, i thoroughly enjoy the detailed nature of your posts. i do also have a few questions, but none are innately related to witchcraft, moreso you as a more experienced tumblr user. if you dont feel comfortable answering any of these, i totally understand!

1) when someone reblogs one of your posts and adds their own tags, can you see the added tags similarly to how you're notified when someone adds onto your post?

2) for the "submit a post" feature, how do you feel about this? should we not use it in general, or if we can- should we recommend others' posts to you, or our own for your opinion? (if you are willing to give it of course)

3) do you have any other accounts you recommend? i'm looking to build my following list so i can actually refresh my dashboard lol. no preference as to subjects, but im mainly looking for informative blogs vice casual blogs.

if you have taken the time to read and/or answer any of this, i greatly appreciate it. if you dont- its totally understandable! regardless, i hope you have a wonderful day/night !! (sorry if my message is difficult to read, i'm shit at writing lmfao)

Depending on your notification settings, yes, you will be alerted of tags. On desktop you can see tags in two places: the quick-view drop down bar (that looks like the lightning bolt), and your activity page (click on the head-and-shoulders icon, then select "Activity," which is between Followers and Drafts).

In notes, tags added to your posts will be slightly gray and always include the #. Regular content added to a reblog will be solid, not-faded text and won't include the #.

Post submission is uncommonly used and mainly seen in community-aggregate type accounts, for example if someone was maintaining a candle spell blog and people submit posts to it. Even so, Asks seem to be more commonly used.

Generally, if you want someone to check out content, on Tumblr you might post a link and @ them, like "hey this seems interesting, any thoughts?", or send an Ask inquiring as to if a person wants to review certain content.

On average however I say sending content to people is only common between people who already have some level of relationship (they reblog each other's posts, engage in the same social circles, etc).

I myself enjoy discussing ideas, but I don't think I'd want to engage in publicly "reviewing" the posts of others, especially if they're made by a third party who didn't ask to have their posts reviewed. I think I would be more comfortable having ideas sent through Asks as more of a regular discussion.

A great way to develop community discussion on ideas is to make your own posts, stating the ideas that you're interested in talking about, and asking specific open-ended questions, such as, "does anyone have thoughts on the structure of this ritual?" or "I'm trying to understand X, are there any thoughts as to why it's included in this?"

At this time I've got to get rolling on my day so unfortunately no account recs.

[elegiesforshiva]

HI!!!!! firstly, i hope you have been able to sleep a bit better :( if not, i wish you more awesome cookie eating and zelda playing :) - kae pt. 1/?

i just wanted to say that when you sent out that very first ask about how lovely my messages were with all of your super cute emojis (i’m on my computer so it’s a little harder to send emojis haha) and how you would try to reply as soon as possible and just how much they meant- AHH my heart felt so full and my smile widened across my face!! you’re so cute!! i’m so happy they could provide a bit of brightness to your day. i hope they continue to provide you warmth like an infinite bonfire with toasty marshmallows ehehe you don’t ever have to apologize for taking the time you need to respond!!! (apologize appreciated, but totally not needed!!!) thank you for sharing the tidbits about your process with asks like these! i’m like that too where sometimes i just need to read it and let my brain and being sit with it and mull over it before i can properly feel up to hashing out something back. when i was reading your response to my messages and hm how do i say this - it makes me feel like i have lovely company right by my side … but through my screen LOL. i only hope that others continue to give you so much love and check in on you from time to time and continue to read your awesome stuff!!!!!! i really do appreciate from the bottom of my heart how much love you put in your response right back - from dissecting sasuke’s existence as a victim/abuser to into/sakura’s relationship. again, i just think you’re deeply intelligent, kind and in touch with your personal psyche and are able to articulate your perspective very powerfully, and it shows in the way you respond to people on your blog/in comments and through your writing! /I/ am so happy to mention all the awesome things - and there’s so many other things that i haven’t brought up, but truly Ghosts is such a gift because there’s so much to process in it, and every time i sink my teeth in it, i come out with something else entirely. sometimes i feel like i go into zombie mode but instead of saying “brains.. braaaiinnss” i just go “writing… sooo… GOOOODDDD” and i mean this in the best of ways! like it makes me truly speechless and flabbergasted LMAO again i’m SO sorry for being like “i’m so excited that you’re going to continue writing” i was silly and was just looking through the #sasusaku tag and then assumed the most recent one up was the most recent update and i had already sent my ask and was like uh oh i should scroll through the blog thoroughly to see what is ACTUALLY up - GAAAHhHHH. my apologies again about that TvT and UH HUH i mean this in the KINDEST way possible but literally you have NOTHING to thank me for. there is no patience i am giving you - i feel like not expecting anything from writers in terms of updates, etc. and being on their side when a fic might not get completed is the bare minimum and anyone who says otherwise can be sent MY way (where i will put them in fic 101 boot camp and tell them to write and hopefully by the time they’ve been booted all the way through they will realize how much time and work goes into writing for FREE. i am blowing my figurative whistle at them right now and wearing a shirt that says “kae’s fic writing bootcamp”). i could rant about how readers have no sense of empathy and only have a sense of entitlement yadayada but long story short - you’re awesome. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise - they can tell ME

i’m really sorry to hear that things aren’t so hot - and are only hot in a turd on fire kind of way. i really hope that you are able to get an apartment and get that quiet even if not to write, but just to have some peace in the palm of your hands. (as i’m typing this, i feel my heart beating and my fingers tingling as i try to put into words what i want to say - interesting. kinda freaky. kinda magical. i don’t think it’s quite how i wanna word it but this is what i’ve got). i don’t know if you believe in a higher being out there - weirdly enough i don’t either, but i as a random stranger on the internet, do promise to you that you’ll get there. There is a safe space that you belong to that you will be able to come home to, where you can sleep and meet your dreams and wake and have them walk with you. Your hopes for how i'm doing brought another big smile to my face. i’m really lucky in my life.tThere’s a lot of people that i love and i am loved by a lot of people and for the first time ever I’m really aware of that and it’s a really cool feeling. Sending all of my love right back to you - I’m blowing some kisses your way. MUAH MUAH MUAH <3 - kae pt. 10/10

I hope you know this was an absolute blast to read the first time and it’s no less great as I’m rereading. I’m sorry I definitely don’t have the time right now to give as much love as you gave me so long ago. Thank you for sending this, I need you to know I’m feeling AAAAAAALL the hugs through the screen rn, and have been since you first sent this 5 million years ago lmao. Thank you for them!!!!!!!  🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰

I hope you didn’t actually feel too bad or embarrassed, I still love hearing about how much people adore Ghosts!!! It was my absolute heart for so long and I never get tired of hearing how much people like it!!! I am really glad I could give what I did of it...thank you for loving it as much as you have, and for giving me that love directly in my ask box too...💘

Fandom culture is honestly such a ride right now?? It’s changed so much, and I want to stab western consumerism in it’s small nutsac because I know it’s contributed to a lot of the shittier parts that have been manifesting, including the entitlement of readers from fic authors like you mentioned. I really don’t know how younger creatives are keeping up with these pressures. I don’t know how anyone is. 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *falls onto my knees and sobs* I forgot how hopeful about my life I was when I last responded to your messages.......pretty sure the crash from those turn of events is what made me wanna dig a hole and never come out of it again. Yeah, the apartment isn’t happening but thank you for the well wishes and all the sweetness though—you’re literally so obscenely kind lmao I love how fun and lighthearted your energy is in these, you’re a darling and I already know anyone who has you in their life is very lucky to. 

Thank you again for all the praises, well wishes, all the love...There was honestly so much positivity in here lmao. It really means a lot to have someone say this to me, it startles me receiving it sometimes. I want you to know I’m giving it all back tenfold!!! I genuinely find a lot of my readers from Ghosts come from a higher level of emotional intuition and processing, probably because of the heavy and dark nature of that fic, but it’s just so cool to see me moving the exact sort of people I instinctively love and admire with my work. I love the arts. I love them endlessly... Sending hugs and kisses kae!!! Sorry for less emojis this round, I’m on desktop too! And also sorry for the long ass wait, I really hope you’re doing amazing these days  💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 🥰 🥰

[number1girl]

let’s manifest his cocky ass celebrates too hard and ODs girlies 🥰

[boxofbonesfic]

hi !!! i just wanted to say that i LOVE body talk so much. you wrote feelings that i experienced when i first started going to the gym in such a beautiful way that made me feel so seen and understood— i loved it so much. and like, can’t thank you enough for creating something so beautiful

i was wondering if you would ever write more of that story? maybe one shots or drabbles or anything? or, what you think the story would be like with the roles reversed and with personal trainer!reader and plus size!bucky?

omg anon??? i love this????? okay, i *am* going to write more of Personal Trainer!Bucky, it will just be a while because i have some other projects that have to take precedence, but trust me when I say Bucky and Toots are living rent free in my head lol. i also have another drabble about them here!!

ALSO i LOVE that idea so much i had to drabble it out 🥺

Role Reversal: Chubby!Bucky x Personal Trainer!Reader

It’s pretty easy for Bucky to pinpoint the exact moment he knew you were it. That he was going to spend the rest of his life trying to be worthy of you. It’s when you walked into the weight room, your hands on your hips, and an accusing finger pointed angrily at the tittering group of fitness-bullies in the corner.

He’d had headphones in, and as he pulled them out, the music faded, only to be replaced with your voice instead.

“—to yourself! You want to be assholes, you can do it at a different gym.”

“We’re members! You can’t kick us out—” Bucky watches a smug smile cross your lips before you reach up to tap your name-tag, underneath which is a gold pin with the word “manager” embossed on it. “Can’t I?” you say, before huffing. “We don’t tolerate that shit here.” He’s used to the comments, they’ve followed him to every single gym he’s tried since he got home. They’re easy enough to ignore; after all, they don’t hurt worse than finding his ex in bed with someone else just three months after he’d returned from duty.

They don’t hurt worse than her standing behind him in the mirror, asking why he’d let himself go so thoroughly, how he could think she would want him when he looked like that. Steve’s elbow in his side makes him wince, shooting a glare at his best friend as he leans over to whisper in his ear.

“Cute, right?”

He watches you make sure they leave, standing in the doorway to the weight-room before you deflate a little, peering over your shoulder at him. “I’m so sorry,” you rub the back of your neck sheepishly. “They never should have said any of that to you.”

“ S’okay,” Bucky shrugs, his cheeks heating. “I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be.” you glare venomously at the door, like you’re waiting for them to come back. “If they give you any more trouble, ask for me, okay?” You point to your name-tag again.

“Sure thing. Does that, um, extend to outside of here? I got a few asses that need kicking,” He jokes, and you giggle.

You hold your hand like a gun, and lift them to your lips, blowing away the imaginary smoke from your finger-barrel. “Just give me the names,” you laugh. Bucky laughs too, a real laugh, one that makes him double over just a little.

“Take it easy, killer.” He says a little wistfully to your retreating back as you head for the door. Steve glances between you once, twice, before he scrambles to catch up, putting himself between you and the exit.

“Hey, wait, uh, you do personal training right? Maybe you could help us out. I’m just a meathead, but you probably really know what you’re doing.” Steve pointedly ignores Bucky gesturing for him to butt out, to shut up, his cheeks pink and burning. “And do you only do sessions here?” he asks sweetly, waggling his eyebrows at Bucky over your shoulder as you look down at your phone to check your schedule.

“No! I do lots of outdoor stuff, like at the park. I know it gets stuffy in here,” you gesture around. “How’s next Thursday?” you look back at Bucky, flashing him a million megawatt smile that makes his chest ache.

“Th-that’s good. That works.” You point your finger gun at him again, before firing.

“It’s a date,” you reply, grinning at him. “See you then.”

“S-see you. Killer,” he jokes again, and you laugh, waving at him over your shoulder. Steve elbows him again, but Bucky can only swallow thickly as he watches you walk away.

It’s a date.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 325: Deku VS the Outside of U.A. ~Conclusion~

Previously on BnHA: Ochako was all “dear bloodthirsty mob, this kid you see standing before you has fought harder than anyone and put his life on the line to protect you all, so please chill the fuck out, jesus christ. like, putting aside that he’s humanity’s best hope and so it’s very much in your best interests to let him rest and recover someplace safe so that he can keep fighting for us, are y’all seriously going to turn away an injured and exhausted child in front of his sobbing mother?? seriously?? come on now.” I’m paraphrasing here but that’s basically how it went down. Anyway so then the mob was all, “...” and Deku collapsed to his knees in tears, and Gigantic Fox Lady and Kouta ran over to give him a hug but then the chapter ended.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “FINE, YOU CAN HUG HIM”, which, was that so hard?? The U.A. Clown Mob is all “come to think of it, we’ve kind of been taking the heroes for granted this entire time, maybe we should be less passive in the future. anyway so Deku if it’s not too much to ask, can you please save everyone and fix everything.” Deku is all “I sure can, and by the way I forgive you for swarming around all menacingly two minutes ago and trying to deny me basic shelter and stuff.” Ectoplasm is all, “hey Todogang get a load of this. [walks in a circle].” Hawks is all, “that’s literally the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.” Rat Principal is all, “anyway so that’s what your students did today, hope you’re enjoying your new *~*ROBOT LEG*~*, Aizawa.” Aizawa is all “[lots of exposition about Kurogiri and for some reason, Toga, while being all brooding and sexy].” All Might is all “[standing here right outside of U.A. doing absolutely nothing and being foreboding AF]” and that immediately sucked away all of the warm fuzzy feelings from the hugs, goddammit.

each new week has become a waiting game of “when will Deku finally get to take a bath so people will actually be willing to go near him and give him the hugs he deserves.” the stakes have never been so compelling. I’ve almost forgotten about AFO entirely

lmaoooooo

me: for the love of god will someone please give Deku a hug before I die of old age

Mineta: YOU GOT IT!! --

Iida: [SWIFTLY CUTS HIM OFF] NOT YOU

fucking losing it at Mineta’s crying face. he really wanted to hug him. I legit feel bad but this is also the funniest thing I have seen all week, omg

somehow Kouta, who last week was only a hand’s breadth away from touching Deku’s head, is now twenty miles away from him in this new chapter

can I make a Loki reference here. is this recap a good place to insert a joke about someone using a TVA time-rewinding device to fuck with my poor boy Kouta over here. well anyway there it is

AND NOW HE’S BACK ALL OF A SUDDEN OMG

(ETA: since when is he “niichan” omg?? can’t handle this cuteness.)

BUT THEY’RE STILL NOT HUGGING HIM FFFFKFFFFF. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO. WHO DO I HAVE TO BRIBE AND/OR BLACKMAIL

OH NO KOUTA IS CRYING THAT’S IT I’M DONE FOR

“when I heard that lady I knew that I had to go, but then stop again within inches of actually touching you because you smell like week-old rotten onions.” listen Kouta, I’m not saying I don’t get it, but you all can’t keep doing this to me. it’s the way you guys keep teasing it. like, if you’re gonna hug him, hug him. don’t just stand there with your arms held rigidly out in front of you like a molded action figure

OH MY GOSH BUT HE SAID THE THING

KOUTA SWOOPING IN AT THE LAST MINUTE TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR FIXING DEKU LIKE THAT ONE KID IN THE GROUP PROJECT WHO DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT STILL TAGS HIS NAME ONTO THE REPORT ANYWAY, WHAT A KNAVE

GASP

(  ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

SHE PICKED HIM UP LIKE A LITTLE BABY OMG?? she just leaned right over and lifted this child like he was a small animal. like a lil baby futon that she was about to hang up to dry. oh my god

-- HEY WHAT

(: well that’s extremely fucked up. though sadly not too surprising given what we just saw these past couple chapters

incidentally, I hope that anyone who was legitimately defending the civilians’ perspective earlier takes note here of how quickly that line of thinking -- “we’re just trying to keep our families safe” and all that-- can lead to straight up bigotry. if you’re willing to deny a child shelter and protection simply because he’s not YOUR child, and because you’ve decided based on Internet rumors (no real-world parallels there, I’m sure) that he might present a threat, it’s really not that much further of a leap to discriminating against entire groups of people simply because you perceive those groups as being dangerous. I’m sure the people who turned Gigantic Fox Lady away also told themselves afterwards that they did it to protect their families. “better safe than sorry.” “she’ll be fine, someone will take her in, but as for us, we can’t afford to take that risk.” people can come up with all kinds of justifications for treating other people as less than human, and the really scary thing about it is how fucking easy it is

one last quick side note, which is that Horikoshi does a great job here of showing how scapegoating works, given that AFO is the one who’s really to blame and who presents the actual threat, and yet Deku is the one who ultimately winds up being the target of the mob’s fear and outrage despite him being as much of a victim as they are. gotta love that irony, which unfortunately plays out far too often in the real world as well.

anyway I’ll get off my soapbox now, sorry about that. let us continue

YES, FINALLY OH MY GOD!!!!

AND THAT’S THE STORY OF HOW GIGANTIC FOX LADY BECAME THE GREATEST HERO. PACK IT ALL UP, WE’RE DONE HERE KIDS

holy shit. the real MVP right there. thanks for getting it done champ

jesus christ I have had it up to here with these people

literally the bar is set so low at this point that I’ll go ahead and take it. helping him because it offers them a tactical advantage is at least one step up from not helping him at all

“WHY NOT SHIKETSU” MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

-- thank you!!

okay this one guy with the antennae hair is having himself a character development speedrun here

-- okay, but this part?? fucking this part, right here??

can we repeat that again?? the part where this guy acknowledges that the problems of hero society were caused not just by said heroes, but also by said society?? the part where he acknowledges that they treated the heroes like celebrities who were putting on a show for them?? the part where he acknowledges that when push came to shove, the vast majority of those heroes, when faced with a situation that offered no reward, were nonetheless willing to put their lives on the line to protect the very same people who then turned around and blamed them rather than thanking them?? are the civilians of BnHA even allowed to have actual deep thoughts about this stuff. holy shit

bro!!

ANTENNAE HAIR GUY SHOVING KOUTA AND GIGANTIC FOX LADY OUT OF THE WAY TO SLAP HIS NAME ONTO THE END CREDITS AS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. CONGRATULATIONS SON YOU FIGURED OUT THE CORE PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION AT THE VERY HEART OF THE MANGA. WAY TO GO BUD

meanwhile, on today’s episode of “one more chapter to go till the big volume cliffhanger, how else can I drag things out let’s see”

it’s a panel. of people’s feet. just a bunch of normal feet. with sneakers and shit

this All Might shirt guy is getting more screentime in this arc than 90% of the class 1-A kids

I guess I’m supposed to feel sorry for this dude now that he’s all “if we let you stay here do you promise to somehow magically fix every single problem that we are now currently facing?” those are some ridiculously exacting standards my dude. come on now

KACCHAN SIGHTING

thank fuck I’m not the only one who’s thoroughly unimpressed by absolutely all of this lol. I feel better now. meanwhile Iida and Kouda and Kiri are ready to run over there and hug them all. you guys are way too forgiving. damn you and your pure hearts

anyway so Deku’s like “yeah, definitely”

(ETA: almost forgot to comment on the “I’m no longer alone” part – he basically corrects the guy and says “sorry, but you’ll need to direct that question towards all of us, not just me, because moving forward we’re a team.” good stuff.)

you know what though, all joking aside... fuck yeah. because perfect victory, right. the strongest guys don’t settle for anything less. so I guess Deku has pretty exacting standards himself

also can you all just take a look at this fucking kid who’s got so much light in his eyes now that I’m gonna need eclipse goggles. hot damn. “you’re welcome” says All Might Shirt Guy as he is frantically interviewed by several local news networks asking him how he daringly managed to save Deku all by himself. “well I guess I’ve just never been the kind of guy who can sit back and let a bunch of rabble-rousers blame a little kid for all of humanity’s problems. someone had to step in and take action, you know?”

oH MY GOD THE SCENE IS FINALLY ENDING

don’t let the door hit you on your way out All Might Shirt Guy

but meanwhile, sudden Tododrama action??

oh shit

there are honestly so many ways in which Ochako’s very moving speech could have wildly backfired that I genuinely have no clue where this is headed lol. how exciting!!

so now Horikoshi is once again stalling for time with random filler panels, but this one is 10x better than the shoes lol omg

(1) was Ectoplasm’s jacket always this oversized. (2) did you guys know that if you go back to chapter 319 you can see that Horikoshi gave us a sneak peak at Enji’s Sad Detective disguise and I in fact made a joke about it in the 319 recap not realizing it was actually the stone cold truth. (3) did Shouto deliberately speed up out of impatience because Hawks was walking so fucking slow and he couldn’t take it any longer. (4) and what, I ask you, is up with these dramatic speedlines. so many mysteries here. what a masterpiece

everyone is acting all shocked about something ahh what’s going on

wait what

what the heck. did they just loop around behind everyone. what was the point of that lol. “anyway, so this is what they look like from the back” well okay, thanks for that Ectoplasm

(ETA: so it seems like they were actually hanging out someplace else away from the crowd this whole time, I guess? here I thought they had more faith in Enji’s disguise. I guess Shouto and Hawks don’t particularly want to attract this crowd’s attention themselves right now either, though.)

I am so fucking confused lmao

speaking of All Might WHERE THE FUCK IS HE lol. but yes, good, OFA brings everyone together, and Hawks is very deeply moved about this out of the blue all of a sudden. you know how it is

aw heck yeah now this is another filler panel I can get behind

Mineta really wants that hug, good lord. I genuinely love this actually. Mineta if you could just stay little and cute and keep crying about how much you love your classmates in a non-gross way for the rest of the series I would be so appreciative. you’re doing great

IIDA IS HOLDING DEKU’S HAND THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ONE TIME WASN’T ENOUGH FOR MY MAN HE’S ADDICTED NOW

what did I tell you. Kiri wants to get all of the mob’s autographs now. Kiri you’re a peach

Shouji having a conversation with another mutant type is a very nice touch! we really need to get to his backstory soon. I feel like that casual remark from GFL earlier was kind of hinting at more to come

is this the first time we’ve ever seen the Yaoyorictionary in action?? never forget that Viz tried to call it the “Yaoyorozu Reference Book” because they hate fun

last but not least, KAMIBAKU IS BACK ON THE MENU, FUCK YEAH. Kaminari trying to spice things up and introduce a little bit of controversy by smacking Kacchan on the back of the head for god knows what. I will be deeply disappointed after this if I can’t find at least one person unironically declaring that KamiBaku is now toxic and abusive

lfkdlWLWK TODODRAMA??

oh my god. Shouto’s face. Enji’s face. the back to “oyaji” again. the blunt, not-taking-no-for-an-answer, “I don’t know how much louder the universe can scream at you that doing things alone is not it, so hopefully you got the point” directness of it. fffdlkslj I’m so ready for this Horikoshi please don’t fuck it up my expectations are so high

HOLY FUCK

I SCROLLED DOWN AND HE WAS ALL “( ❛‿❛)” AND I JUST WASN’T FUCKING EXPECTING THAT OKAY. JESUS CHRIST. GIVE ME A SEC

lol okay moment over and now Enji’s pulling his hat down all dramatically like a world-weary Cowboy

OH MY GOD WERE YOU FACETIMING??

AHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: not to put Iida down or anything, but it’s kind of strange that Aizawa is all “the class rep sure did great” when Ochako is the one that was giving that whole big speech for like twenty minutes just now lol.)

(ETA 2: “thank god Iida stepped in just in the nick of time to keep Mineta from hugging Deku.” sorry Mineta I really do like you lately but it’s still low-hanging fruit lol.)

HE LOOKS SO SAD??! HE LOOKS LIKE HEARTBREAK ITSELF??! I AM BESOUGHT WITH THE URGE TO REACH INTO MY SCREEN AND PULL HIM INTO THE SAFETY OF MY ARMS??? MY GOD, AND I THOUGHT DEKU NEEDED HUGS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay I was gonna just hold down the letter H for a full minute and count it out loud but within about ten seconds I realized I needed to chill lol

-- but then again NO, I DON’T NEED TO CHILL, I HAVE ZERO CHILL, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE IT’S AIZAWA WITH A ROBOT LEG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

COMPLETE WITH ROBOT TOES FOR THAT EXTRA TOUCH OF AUTHENTICITY!! I LIKE HOW HORIKOSHI PUT ALL THIS EXTRA “!!!” EMPHASIS AROUND IT IN CASE WE COULD SOMEHOW POSSIBLY FAIL TO TAKE NOTICE. “REMEMBER, EVERYONE?” SAYS HORIKOSHI HELPFULLY. “REMEMBER THAT TIME AIZAWA CHOPPED OFF HIS OWN LEG?” oh wow now that you mention it we somehow forgot all about that. like who do you take us for

OH NO NOT THE SAD BOYFRIEND ANGST THAT I WAS SECRETLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WITH GLEE

well at least he’s not M.I.A. or back with the villains again like I thought he might be. still, that’s gotta be brutal to know your friend is in there somewhere, but to not be able to reach him again no matter how hard you try. that’s the kind of angst that pays off in final battles just when you most expect it. such is my hope, at any rate

what’s this now??

trying to decide if this is Horikoshi’s way of saying don’t worry about that, or his way of saying definitely worry about that lol

anyway so Aizawa is out here being all irresponsibly handsome once again. when is someone going to do something about him

here for Sexy Robot Leg Eyepatch Aizawa clenching his fists and making speeches about revenge. pretty sure we’re all here for that

WELL, WELL, WELL

IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME

I’M VERY GLAD YOU’RE ALIVE AND SEEMINGLY WELL, THOUGH!

BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THOUGH, ALL MIGHT

ffff. bracing myself for that cliffhanger next week. you’d better not touch one hair on this man’s head Horikoshi. I’m watching you 

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[vimpse]

Hi vimpse! I notice that your using Poppet's multi-PT mod. I was tempted to use it myself, but Poppet reported that PT-Hydrus has a broken face template and hence that the mod should be used with caution. I just wondered whether you had personally noticed any problem with PT-Hydrus's offspring? Cheers!

Hello! I feel like this is actually a point of mild contention, because ultimately the only problem with a broken face template is that the sim in question won't look the same in every life stage, because in certain life stages they'll revert to the template they're "built" to be. So simply put, it isn't dangerous to use it in any way, there's just possibly problems with how their genetics appear (the operative word being appear, since they will have an inheritable appearance once they have children of their own, as in when they're 3 generations away from PT-Hydrus). There doesn't really seem to be a clear consensus on how exactly this works when sims of a broken template and not broken template have children... some people say there is a difference from stage to stage (and that they're identical to other children resulting from the same pairing), and some people say there isn't as far as they can tell - even Poppet said in one of her replies that during testing with the multi-PT set, she never noticed it.

It partly depends on how thoroughly you study your sims in detail, and I did try to have a look at the tags of all my Hydrus spawn and compare them in detail, and to my eyes I can at least say that the spawn resulting of the abduction of two different sim parents by PT-Hydrus definitely aren't identical to each other during the same life stage. For example Chi Rivers and Pandora Thornstorm do not have the same face as teenagers, and among my Hydrus spawn they're the easiest to compare because they're the only two with non-alien eyes, and it's easier to compare their eye shape than it is to compare them to that of for example Halo Thornstorm.

One of the positive sides of this being a broken template on a PT, is that if a sim gets abducted several times, there's only a 1 in 4 chance of it being the same PT twice. If you're like me and you've had the same sim abducted several, several, several, several times (lookin' at you, Mika Thornstorm) - of course it can happen. The nearest I'll get to being able to provide a scientific answer to how identical the face of sims born of the same sim parent to the same PT are, will be Halo and Proxima Thornstorm - as they're both Mika x Hydrus babies. Proxima is still a child though, and I had exactly no clear/similar shots of her now and Halo as a child, but maybe I'll be able to see it more closely when Proxima becomes a teenager.

I'll concede that maybe, just maybe there is a visible difference in Pandora's face from child/teen to adult - but I find it nearly impossible to tell, lol. The faces of sims do look different per life stage anyway, as they grow into their features (or don't grow into them, as the case may sometimes be, haha): so personally I don't consider it a massive issue.

TLDR (sorta): No, I haven't noticed any issues, but I might be a little genetically forgiving - the PT set isn't dangerous to use, there just might be some potato genetic inheritance going on. At the end of the day it won't last generations either way, and it really comes down to how important the possibility of identical sims is to you: while also weighing up how likely it'll ever be for the same sim to be abducted by the same PT. :)

I feel like this definitely wasn't my most eloquently worded reply, I'm sorry about the possibly confusing sentences!

P.S. this dumb post editor (thanks for this terrible "new and improved" version you're forcing upon us in inbox replies, Tumblr) won't let me add links to the sims I've mentioned here, if you're interested you'll have to go the long way around and hop on over to my families page, sorry!

[many-but-one]

Welcome to Many but One

"We are many, you are but one!" -Ermac, Mortal Kombat

If you ever want to talk or ask questions, feel free to! We love making system friends. Bodily adult, however, so keep that in mind. We also use part-speak! And prefer to call alters parts, but we do switch up when semantics calls for it. We are also shooting for functional multiplicity but are open to final fusion if that occurs.

The Basics:

-Mid 20s

-They/them or he/him pronouns collectively

-Very often go by "Many" in online spaces, it's a shortening of our system name, Many but One. If you see mutuals call us that, that's why😂

-HC-DID. Polyfrag, alter number unknown

-blanket TW for RAMCOA related abuse, though we always tag our content with “[trigger] tw” if there is triggering content involved. If we miss a tag, feel free to respectfully point it out and we will fix the mistake.

-dx’d by a DID specialist with over 20 years in the field.

-Syscourse unaligned. I support endos existing, but I do think endos and traumagenic systems have very different experiences and should have their own spaces. Not that we can’t also co-exist, but the fact we’ve been fighting over a proverbial “No Man’s Land” for well over a decade now and have gotten nowhere with it, I feel like it would be better if we all stopped fighting and just tried to exist apart in peace. Regardless, I try to stay the fuck out of syscourse because that is such a minefield these days. I'll just stick with my educational posts, silly memes, and vent art lol.

-some popular tags of ours include: #manybutone, #advice, #positivity, and #answered asks

-we block people without warning and likely won’t give a reason. We have a right to curate our online experience, and blocking is a “no-contact” boundary we are allowed to set at anytime.

-asks and DMs open anytime, but we aren’t looking to be anyone’s friend. Nothing personal, we just have trust issues and aren’t good at making friends, especially online.

-if you wanna be moots and we haven’t followed you back you are free to DM or send an ask to mutual you. We will not be weirded out or offended by that! We love having mutuals. Just know if we aren’t into your blog we won’t follow you back, so don’t expect us to do so just because you ask.

I have two things on my DNI:

-Tumblr anons who want me to dx them or validate their experiences. Here’s why. I am fine with DMs, but if you send an anon asking these things I will delete, period.

-People trying to tell me sharing about RAMCOA or my traumas is bad or has “made” them take unsafe action in therapy and healing. My content is not a diagnostic tool and you are responsible for what you take in and what you do with that information. All of my content is properly trigger warned so you can avoid things that are not helpful to you or could be actively harmful to you. I, an internet stranger, am not responsible for the actions you take with my content in mind. I take very special precautions to make sure my content (aside from my poetry or trauma-talk, which is always TW’d extensively) is as safe as possible for systems trying to deprogram. If you notice that my content isn’t good for you or your healing journey, just block me. It’s really that simple. Don’t try to tell me how I should heal or how I should run my platform.

Some posts I've made that I think are good for newcomers to take a look at first.

To learn about the System Support Server, click here. Note: The System Support Server is no longer open to new members. Sorry!

Some basic info about our diagnosis journey and about DID: link

What fusion feels like from the perspective of two former hosts who fused: link

An informational post about the truth behind the origins of the False Memory Foundation and how False Memory Syndrome has been thoroughly debunked: link

My journey of learning about parts (from the beginning of this blog to July 2024): link (BTW this shit is heavy and really shows the ugly sides of DID. It shows the steady decline in thinking you "only" have 15 parts to realizing you were part of RAMCOA related abuse and have thousands of alters.)

Red Cloud Divider Credit by @rpinkling (highly recommend looking into them, their dividers are very cool!)

[lavenderfluorite14]

Such Sweet Delirium

Reiji Sakamaki x Fem!Reader

Summary: Laito Intrudes on an experiment gone wrong. Reiji loses his cool.

Explicit, 18+ |TW: Dubious Consent/Non-Con, Drugged Sex, Verbal Humiliation, Slut Shaming, Blood Sucking, Ownership Kink, Female Reader, Breast Worship, Hickeys, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Begging, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Possessive Reiji, Light Edging, Canon Typical Reiji Cruelty, I couldn’t just write porn I had to write a character study too lol, Slight Laito x Reader, Tagging non-con for the consent issues surrounding drugged sex, Reader is conscious and responsive but very high

Word Count: 2331

A/N: Please be mindful of the tags! This is the most explicit thing that I have ever written lmaoooo 🥂

Read it on AO3!

Reiji’s lab spun in a nauseating carousel of color. The last thing you remembered was drinking a beautiful, shimmering liquid that Reiji said he had brewed himself. It fizzed all the way down your throat, an insistent warmth quickly spreading throughout your body. Now sprawled across his sofa, you surrendered to dizzying oblivion. Somewhere above you, Reiji scribbled furiously in a black notebook, tutting irritably.

“Tell me what you are feeling. Be specific.” You swallowed thickly at the order, begging your tongue to move.

“The…...the room…..the room is-”

“Spit it out, I don’t have all day.”

“S-spinning. The room….is spinning” you slurred.

“How fast?”

“Fast.”

“I said how fast?”

“I….I can’t….”

Reiji tsked angrily, snapping his notebook shut. Flinching, you tried to turn away from his sharp gaze but a cold hand pinned you flat against the couch. Your delayed reaction time was no match for his vampiric strength.

“I can feel your heart racing from here,” he said, curling over you, pinning your wrists above your head. “Had I known you were such weak prey I would have given you a smaller dose. It isn’t as fun when you can’t fight back.” You wriggled underneath him, jerking weakly against his cruel grip. Reiji laughed, amused at your feeble attempts to escape.

“Although, I don’t hate this delirious expression,” he murmured, lowering his face towards yours. You squeezed your eyes shut, overwhelmed by his hungry stare. “I suppose this isn’t bad every once and a while.” His rich baritone rumbled in your ear, his proximity making you tremble.

“I didn’t think I’d interrupt this so soon,” interrupted a dark chuckle. Laito lounged against the doorframe of the lab, eyeing your entwined forms. “You must really like this one, Reiji,” he teased. Reiji’s iron grip tightened around your wrists and you whimpered pitifully. “It’s rude to enter someone’s room without knocking,” Reiji spat imperiously. “I knocked, but you didn’t answer!” Laito insisted, his eyes glinting with mirth. “But now I can see you were a bit distracted.” You lolled your head to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of the intruder. Laito’s smirk widened.

“Christ, what did you do to her?”

“Such language is atrocious. You shouldn’t speak that way.”

“You fucked up the dosage, didn’t you?” Reiji shot up quickly at the accusation, swiping his notebook from the couch as he crossed briskly back towards his desk. Laito’s smirk cracked into a grin.

“Do you need something, Laito?” Reiji asked coolly. As Reiji began tidying his work space, Laito sauntered over to the couch, his green gaze boring into you. Crouching down, he gently brushed his fingers across your cheek. You shivered under his cold touch. “I came for the aphrodisiac you promised me,” Laito said, trailing his fingers down your neck. He stopped to trace the hollow of your throat, caressing it with his thumb. “But if you don’t have it, I’m sure there are other ways we can pass the time inst-”

“Of course I have it,” Reiji scoffed. Plucking a vial of blue liquid from his stores, he crossed the room and offered it to Laito. “Now please take it and leave.” Reiji’s words hung in the air like frost. Laito rose languidly, like a cobra rearing back to strike, then swiped the vial from Reiji’s gloved hand.

“Maybe next time, Bitch-Chan,” Laito said, winking at you. “And Reiji,” Laito called, pivoting in the doorframe for one last jab. “I know it can be hard to control yourself, especially this close to a full moon, but try not to tear this one up like the last one, ok? You should save some for the rest of us.”

“Get out!” Reiji snarled, storming across the room. Laito darted off, disappearing as quickly as he had come. Reiji slammed the door behind him.

The ceiling swam before you in lethargic swirls of periwinkle. You had no idea what Laito meant, but you could feel Reiji fuming in the doorway. What was he talking about? Reiji never lost his cool. You couldn’t imagine him doing something like that. “You let him touch you,” Reiji seethed.

“Reiji, I...I didn’t….I didn't want-”

“Please be silent.Your behavior today has been dreadful.” Reiji prowled towards the couch, his long shadow casting a dark pall across your face. You closed your eyes, terrified to meet his furious eyes. “You couldn't do a thing?” He queried, towering above you. “You couldn’t cry out? Or swat him away?” His voice was ice.

“I…..I froze….”

“I suppose that’s to be expected from a woman like you,”

“I’m so-sorry,”

“How should I punish my little harlot?” Finally bending down towards you, Reiji cupped your face firmly with his gloved hand. “Your pupils are still so dilated. I doubt you’d feel my whip at all.” The thought made you shiver, and not completely out of fear. Reiji thumbed your lip idly as he thought.

“Suck….my blood?” He tsked at your suggestion.

“You ask for it so brazenly, sometimes I think you enjoy it. Hands up.” You heaved your arms up over your head as Reiji smoothly rolled your top up your body, tossing it aside once it was completely off.

“I suppose it’s my fault. I’ve been too lax with you,” he mused, settling firmly on top of you. You were particularly aware of his pelvis, pressing insistently against the cradle of your thighs. He cupped your face, drawing you close. “I need to teach you exactly who you belong to,” he said, his gaze drifting down hungrily to the column of your neck. “I’ll remind you so thoroughly of your place that even a dumb whore like you will be able to remember who owns her,” he promised, sinking his teeth viciously into your throat.

Reiji’s first bite was hard and precise, the sharp pain briefly thrusting you into lucid panic. But soon you were left with the warm afterglow of pleasure in the wake of its pain. It never stopped hurting, not entirely, but his bites always left you with a fluttering warmth. Reiji’s mouth was on you. You couldn’t help but enjoy it.

Reiji began a fast, desperate rhythm that pulled blood from you quickly, sending you reeling. You whimpered as your world whirled impossibly faster. When darkness began to flicker at the edges of your vision Reiji pulled away, burying his face into your neck. “You bring out the worst in me,” he sighed. Mouthing along your throat, he continued downward towards your collarbone. You braced yourself for another bite, but recoiled sharply when Reiji placed a delicate kiss upon your chest.

“Look at me, jealous of that pervert.” He kissed your chest again, skimming his fingers across the delicate skin of your décolletage. “Arch your back.” Curving your spine upwards, your body brushed against Reiji’s lean frame. You trembled as his hands ghosted along your back, making their way towards the clasp of your bra. Reiji unhooked it with quick ease then tossed the lacy fabric away, greedily cupping your naked breasts. A thin, breathy gasp escaped from you as Reiji dipped between them, kissing your soft curves. You tangled your hands in his hair, humming your approval. In response he tweaked your nipple harshly, sending a jolt of pain through your cloud of pleasure. You yelped at the enticing contrast.

“Let me remind you of your place. You are nothing more than food to me,” he said, pinching your nipple again with a renewed vengeance. You drunkenly brought your hands back to push him away, but he easily pinned them back above your head. “You are meat. Your blood is the only worthwhile thing about you.” Reiji sunk his teeth into the swell of your breast, drawing deep from you. Crying out, you tried to ignore the pleasure his bite ignited in you, trying to focus only on the pain.

“I can taste your arousal,” he groaned between mouthfuls. “Does your masochism know no bounds?” Reiji’s insults didn’t last as he dove back down again to litter your chest with angry bites. He’d kiss you, so tenderly it was almost painful, then pierce your sensitive skin with his sharp, pointed fangs. Once satisfied, he’d lick, suck and kiss the abused spot until an angry mark began to form. He left bruises everywhere in his wake, a garden of purple hickeys blossoming across your breasts.

The drug made it nearly impossible to meaningfully fight back but you didn’t really want to. Reiji’s words stung, but you so rarely had his attention like this. Was it because the full moon was close? You knew vampires had trouble controlling their urges when the moon was full. And Reiji so desperately wanted control: of his brothers, of you, of himself. Was this frenzied beast the real Reiji, or was his protesting, rigid persona the real him? Impossibly, you knew he had to be both. Both enraptured and repulsed by his own desires and completely unable to hide it. That was really why he was mad. Reiji’s wet tongue interrupted your musings as he lapped against your sore nipple, sending a shudder through your entire body. Unable to remove your wrists from his grasp, you retaliated by wrapping your legs around his hips, trapping him against you. Now it was Reiji’s turn to shudder, rutting himself against your core. He was hard.

“My, you really are out of it,” he murmured, grinding himself against you openly. “It’s the only explanation.”

“Explanation for what?” You panted, trying to match his thrusts. Reiji released your wrists, propping himself up on his left arm. Delicately biting the fabric across the tip of his pointer finger, he slid his glove from his hand. Ripping it away, Reiji’s bare hand skimmed down your body and over your curves. Flipping up your skirt, his fingers slid between your thighs.

“For this,” he says, tracing your wetness through your panties. Your eyes fluttered shut. “Reiji,” you breathed, arching towards his fingers.

“Say my name,” Reiji ordered softly, dipping underneath the fabric and rewarding you with long, firm strokes. You called his name again and he moved up towards your clit, circling it once before quickly pulling away. You whined at the loss.

Reiji begins a vicious rhythm, rubbing your clit with firm circles, then backing off when your pleasure mounts. He only returns to your clit when you beg him to, crying out for him. Fisting your hands in his shirt, you whine in frustration as a needy ache builds inside you. Reiji just smirks down at you, enjoying your torment. When tears start building in your eyes, he finally slides a slender finger into your heat. Beckoning upward along your inner wall, he firmly massages your g spot. Mindlessly, you grind down on his fingers, chasing your pleasure.

“Who makes you feel this good?” he asks, his ruby eyes alight with lust.

“You do,” you gasp.

“I asked you who,” he demanded, cruelly massaging your inner wall. You jerk at the pressure, almost cresting over the plateau.

“Reiji! Reiji Sakamaki!” you cry, desperate for release.

“Good girl,” he smirks, thumbing your clit. You gasp in delight, the rough, consistent circles of his fingers finally hurtling you towards your peak. “You don’t deserve this,” he growls in your ear, his deep velvety voice bewitching you. “But when I see you like this, I can’t stop myself. You’re mine.” Your orgasm hits you hard, squeezing Reiji’s fingers in hot contractions. Pleasure washes over you in a wave, your entire being gently pulsing. Reiji smugly guides you through your orgasm, only stopping his ministrations once your twitching has ceased. You sigh, melting back into the cushions of the couch. Above you, a belt buckle clinks.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Reiji says, gripping your thighs and yanking you forcefully back towards him. As he settles above you, he presses the tip of his member against your eager entrance. Pushing forward, Reiji sinks into you with ease. “My little harlot is so wet for me,” he teases, before setting a ruthless pace.

Reiji fucks you selfishly, chasing his own pleasure now that he’s satisfied yours. You lay back, still enjoying the lingering effects of his drug. His thrusts pull soft, pleasured moans from you as he plunges desperately into you. Closing your eyes, you revel in the sensations, happy to let him use you. Occasionally he’ll sheathe himself all the way inside of you and grind desperately against your cervix, trying to get as deep as he can.

“I can’t believe you like this. That you like me,” he pants softly, definitely to himself. Reiji lets you pull him down so that he is completely flush against your body. “I do. I like you, Reiji.” A groan rips from him and he stills, spilling himself inside of you.

You stay that way for a moment, holding each other tenderly in the afterglow of your love-making. You wish you could stay like this, enjoying the feeling of his body as it presses you into the cushions, gently stroking his back as both of your breathing returns to normal. But Reiji recovers faster than you do. “I’ll clean you up,” he offers, his tone clipped.

Reiji cleans you thoroughly with a warm wet towel, which feels strange but is not unenjoyable in your impaired state. It’s deeply intimate in a way that is definitely uncomfortable, but you think it’s his way of taking care of you. You close your eyes, pliant. His large hands drift over your body, tugging your top back over you and righting your skirt. Once he is finished you curl on your side, completely spent and ready to sleep. As you begin to drift off, you feel something warm and soft envelop you. A blanket? Maybe. Where did he get a blanket?

Reiji watches as you snuggle into the blanket he has recently taken to keeping in his desk, a genuine smile flickering across his stern features.