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#source: my friends
military-newsboys · 2 months
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Top gun 1967 as things my friends said pt.2
Mav: hey so I met two people and a mouse at the bus station and now we are all going to eat falafel
Goose: ??????
Mav: *attaches a selfie with two civilians and a white mouse*
Mav: the mouse's name is Veronica btw
Ice: Maverick you are actually taking years off of my life.
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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 9 months
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Rengoku: This fruit salad is fruitier than Tengen! Delicious!
Tengen: What now?
Mitsuri: He said you’re fruity.
Tengen: I am not gay!
Shinobu: Not denying bisexuality, I see.
Tengen: I hate this family, I’m going home to my wives!
Sanemi: Why? So they can bully you too?
Tengen: They do not!
Obanai: Then why does Hinatsuru call you Bi-gen?
Giyu: I’ve heard Makio call you a bottom.
Muichiro: Suma sent a crow. She says you’re bi.
Tengen: …
Tengen: Screw this, I’m becoming a demon.
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Momma didn't raise a quitter. She definitely raised a bitch, but not a quitter.
-Nesta Archeron
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toothle-plama-blat · 5 months
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Hiccup: alright Snotlout, ready to do the test of incomplete sentences?
Snotlout: yes
Hiccup: remember to answer quickly, with the first word that you think of
Snotlout: yeah i know
Hiccup: first one: i believe my father rarely...
Snotlout: thinks
Hiccup:
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mamaspidershit · 6 days
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Natasha: How did you get in our house? Peter: I- I don't remember. Natasha: oh yeah, that'll hold up in court.
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incorrect-losers · 2 months
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Eddie: Why is High School Musical so happy?
Stan: Are you seriously still on this?
Eddie: ALBUQUERQUE NEW MEXICO HAS ONE OF THE HIGHEST CRIME RATES IN THE US, STAN! WHY IS TROY BULTON SO WORRIED ABOUT SINGING AND DANCING WHEN HE COULD BE MURDERED AT ANY MOMENT?
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aficionadoenthusiast · 7 months
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percy: 'let it go' fucking slaps
nico: fuck off
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bolbergates · 2 months
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Shadowheart: This is just an action movie!!
Minthara: We want sharks!! We don’t want action! We want sharks eating people!!
Minthara: this movie is an hour and thirty minutes long and so far we’ve only seen ONE person die by a shark and four people die due to other causes!!
Shadowheart: SHOW US THE SHARKS!!!
Minthara: WHY IS THERE PLOT IN THIS WHERE IS THE SHARKS EATING PEOPLE!?
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vertinssuitcase · 4 months
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A letter from medicine pocket: PAGIA BLS BUY OBERWAB@2 BATL BAS NOWE, UR WHALEFUM TOR THIGS MY CARDE IS CRYING
Pavia: let me translate this.
Vertin: no I can translate it.
Vertin: Pavia, please buy overwatch 2 battle pass now. You’re welcome for this. My card is crying.
Pavia: Incorrect. You didn’t get it right.
Vertin: HOW?? I WAS AN AVID HOMESTUCKER!!?
Pavia: it actually says..
Pavia: Pavia, please buy the overwatch 2 battle pass at your earliest convenience, preferably as soon as possible; you are truly welcome for the gift of twenty united state dollars. My credit card, which has been used quite frequently recently in the past twenty-four hours, is now teary eyed due to the amount of use that it has been put under.
Vertin: What the fuck.
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f1incorrects · 11 months
Conversation
Lando: Is it in the bus or on the bus?
Oscar: In is when it’s a container and on is when it’s a platform.
Lando: So it’s in the bus because the bus contains me?
Oscar: ...
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Hyrule: I will never understand people.
Legend: They’re the worst.
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military-newsboys · 2 months
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incorrect ted lasso
Sam: When you bring your partner to meet your parents it's basically a double date. Jamie: Why would my father meet my partner? He doesn't even meet me.
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Lunar: What are those?
Moon: Honey whiskey.
Solar: Blueberry margarita.
Eclipse: Vodka cranberry.
Sun: Everclear.
Lunar: You all have issues.
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incorrectdwpquotes · 1 month
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Emily: Serena, what was the name of that show we watched? Fucking…Yeehaw Bossa Nova?
Serena: Cowboy Bebop.
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ERIDAN: i cant BELIEVVE you wwere cheatin on me
VRISKA: Eridan, no way! It was just a joke ::::)
ERIDAN: wwait really
ERIDAN: so wwere still kismeses?
VRISKA: Oh, no, I’m totally dumping you. I was just joking a8out liking Tavros.
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rowenas-my-fave-child · 2 months
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Enoch: oui oui baguette sacré bleu
Horace: that is not how you say « I chopped off her head with a guillotine » in French
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