Every Day After
Requested Here!
Pairing: David "Deacon" Kay x fem!shy!SWAT!reader
Summary: You are Deacon's best friend, and when you're poisoned and nearly killed, his protective tendencies make an appearance as he stays by your side to help you heal.
Warnings: angst to fluff, depictions of benzene poisoning, references to drug use and distribution, mention of character death, poisoning scene loosely based on 1x19 "Source"
Word Count: 6.6k+ words
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Being shy and being a member of 20-David don’t always mix well. Some days, you can talk with them without any problems; other days, they push you a touch too far, and you’re more comfortable being quiet. But no matter what kind of day it is, your team is your family, and they have your back.
One member of the team, however, you consider to be your best friend. David “Deacon” Kay is one of the best friends you have ever had, and when he jumps in to defend you and protect you, it’s easy for the rest of your team to see why you’re so attached to him.
“Where’s Deac?” Hondo asks as he enters the locker room.
“Not here yet,” you answer after closing your locker.
“You mean you didn’t carpool? Deacon was okay letting you out of his sight for that long?”
“He’s my friend, not my probation officer,” you reply softly.
Hondo smiles at your comment before explaining, “I just mean you’re usually together. Don’t see you separated much these days. Is there a reason for that?”
“Not whatever you’re thinking,” you answer, your voice weaker than it was a moment ago. “He’s my friend.”
“Who’s your friend?” Deacon asks, using the other door to come in.
“You,” Hondo answers, winking at you. He chuckles when you turn your chin away from him and steps toward the door as he calls, “We’re rolling in twenty to serve a warrant, so do your thing.”
“You alright?” Deacon asks, placing his backpack in his locker.
You nod, reaching down to tie your laces and take a moment to breathe. Your job is stressful, so finding quiet moments whenever you can helps you be a better S.W.A.T. officer.
“Here,” Deacon says, gently knocking your hand out of the way as he ties your laces.
Standing up straight, you watch Deacon double knot your laces and ensure your safety before tapping the side of your boot. He stands and meets your eyes.
“You good?” he asks, looking into your eyes as he rolls his shoulders.
“I am. Are you?”
“Always,” Deacon answers with a smile. “When you’re around, at least.”
“Thanks,” you murmur, gesturing toward your boots.
“That was adorable,” Street says.
You look over quickly, surprised to see him standing in the doorway. His smile grows when you lock eyes with him; you immediately drop your eyes to avoid his pleased look.
“A little Cinderella-esque, but cute. We just got a tip that our guy’s gonna try to run, so we’re rolling now. Unless you two need a minute?”
“We’re good,” you reply, while Deacon says, “Let’s do it.”
Deacon spreads his hand across your upper back, sweeping his thumb over the base of your neck in a comforting motion. You know he has your back, and the rest of your team is there for you, too, but physically feeling Deacon at your side makes you feel prepared to take on anything.
Climbing into Black Betty, you sit in your usual seat beside Deacon and listen to Hondo explain the warrant and the layout of the house you’re breaching.
“This guy will be armed, but we don’t know what else he may have goin’ on in there, so stay liquid,” Hondo concludes.
Deacon nods once as Black Betty stops. You follow Deacon to the west side of the house, waiting for Hondo’s signal to shoot a flashbang through a window before using the new opening to enter the residence. Deacon moves in first, clearing the room before you cover the hallway so you can move deeper into the house.
Tapping Deacon’s shoulder, you let him know you’ve got his back before he enters a bedroom.
“Closet only,” Deacon alerts, stepping back into the hallway before you.
Something hits the floor in the closet, but before you can turn back to check, the door slings open, and someone steps out. The suspect appears to be male, but you can’t tell much about his physical composure as he slams you into the wall behind you. You raise your arms to his neck, attempting to push him off of you. He grunts as he pushes harder, raising you so your feet are off the floor. Deacon moves in your peripheral, but you use the suspect’s momentum to kick him in the torso, falling onto him as he tips back.
“You’re under arrest,” you pant, flipping him onto his stomach and removing handcuffs from your belt.
“Get down!” Deacon yells.
You don’t hesitate to obey his demand, dropping to the floor beside the suspect as someone opens fire.
“30-David, we’re taking fire in the west hallway,” Deacon radios.
Looking over, you don’t see Deacon and assume he has taken cover in one of the bedrooms.
“One suspect in custody, one armed but not visible. Likely barricaded in the back room at the northwest corner,” Deacon continues.
You feel a hand on your ankle but immediately recognize the touch. Twisting, you confirm your suspicion when you see Deacon gesture for you to stay quiet. He raises to his knees in a doorway, and you move your weapon to your back just before he pulls you into the bedroom.
“Thank you,” you whisper as he closes the door.
“Don’t thank me yet,” he replies, matching your volume. “Nobody else even got in, we’re trapped in here.”
“We need our cuffed guy. At the least, maybe we can trade him to get out.”
“I’ll get him, but if he makes noise, I’m pushing him back out.”
You nod and help Deacon pull the man you just fought with into the room. He pants as the door closes but doesn’t fight against you or Deacon.
“Yo, this dude is crazy,” he says, though you suspect he’s talking to himself. “I’m just try’na buy some dope fo’ ma cousins and he tell me to get in the attic and get the 5-0 off his trail.”
You furrow your eyebrows as you listen. The story may not make sense to everyone, but being a cop in Los Angeles quickly teaches you just what people are willing to do to score drugs.
“Did he offer to trade you drugs for getting the police away from him?” you ask.
“Sure did. ‘N’ then he dipped.”
“That’s not him in the back room, the one that was shooting at my partner?”
“Nah, that the guy who stay here. He bad, too, though. Ain’t nobody on this street mess with him.”
“Hondo,” Deacon radios.
“Are there more people coming?” you ask quickly.
“Is you a cop?” the man asks sarcastically.
You turn toward Deacon, and he nods to answer your unasked question about getting out of here. He will get you out of this, and you trust him, but you don’t want to imagine what he’d do to save you. He may be protective of you, but you care about him too and don’t want him to risk his safety, or worse, his life, to keep you out of harm’s way.
“Deac,” you whisper.
He looks at you, and you point to a loose piece of flooring beside the wall.
“This house may have a crawl space,” you explain, moving toward the corner.
You begin pulling pieces of the floor up quietly, smiling when you reach a spot without a subfloor. Deacon sees the opening above the small crawl space and drags your apprehended suspect toward it.
“I’m going to uncuff you,” Deacon says. “But there are dozens of officers waiting out there, so if you try to run you will fail and rack up more charges than you’re already facing.”
“Man, just get me outta this psycho’s house!” the man responds.
Deacon lets him go out first, not trusting him to be behind you. Helping you into the hole, Deacon waits until you’re moving toward the access panel on the south wall to slide into the opening. He pulls a few pieces of flooring back into place, hoping that if the “psycho” owner of the house manages to get in the room faster than expected, he won’t realize how you escaped.
When Deacon stands after army crawling the entire length of the house, you immediately hug him. His arms wrap around you without hesitation, glad to see you safe and out of the house. When a shot sounds from the other side of the house, Deacon wraps an arm around the back of your head and rushes across the yard, ushering you to Black Betty.
“Thanks for keeping me informed,” Hondo chides when he sees you.
“Radios don’t work when they get crushed,” Deacon argues, pointing to your destroyed radio. “You can thank this guy for that.”
“Man, my name’s Randy. Please take me to jail and don’ let these fools fin’ me,” your radio destroyer and previous enemy interjects.
“New warrant just came through,” Luca alerts. “We can hit his stash house, try to draw him out.”
“Fantastic,” you grumble.
Deacon pats your back, a reminder that you’re not alone, and the team now has an idea of what you’re up against. While Luca drives to the stash house, you take a mental note of your new injuries. For the most part, you feel fine, but you know there will be bumps and bruises tomorrow, and you’ll feel them when the adrenaline wears off.
“You need to get everything checked when we’re done. He hit you hard,” Deacon says quietly, ensuring no one else can hear.
Nodding, you agree to whatever he says. Deacon saved your life and though you don’t think you need a doctor, you’ll do anything he wants right now.
“We’ve got intel that this place is empty but stick together anyway. The call was right before we left, so it could be full now,” Hondo alerts. “We’re not here for the drugs, narcotics’ll deal with all that later, we’re just trying to catch a rat.”
“By becoming the cheese,” Street complains.
“We’ll be fine, playboy,” Luca promises.
“As long as you stick to the plan and listen,” Hondo amends. “Let’s get to it.”
You lead Deacon inside this time, using a small lock bypassing device. As you clear the first floor, you don’t see any sign of anyone using the building, and there isn’t as much as residue from drug use.
“Looks like he moved,” Deacon muses.
“Maybe our tipster made more than one call,” you agree.
“We don’t know that,” Deacon reminds you. “Stay vigilant.”
You nod, letting Deacon take the lead as you climb the stairs.
“This level looks just as empty,” Deacon says into his comm. “Second floor appears to be a code 4.”
“Something ain’t right,” Hondo replies.
“Deacon,” you call.
You don’t attempt to conceal your worry, and he turns quickly.
“Don’t move,” you add. “This place is rigged.”
“Rigged how?” he inquires.
“Hondo, you need to get everyone out,” you radio. “Watch the floor and don’t step on anything that isn’t flooring.”
“Copy that,” Hondo responds before commanding the team to exit cautiously.
“Why?” Deacon asks.
“You too,” you demand. “You need to go but be careful.”
“I’m not leaving without you.”
You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, biting it harshly as you look down. There’s a small button under your boot, and you’ve already depressed it. The moment you move off of it, something will happen. It doesn’t appear to be a landmine or any other kind of explosive, but that makes you more concerned because you don't know what it is.
“Deacon, please,” you beg, your voice a whisper as you look at him. “Just give me a minute to try to figure this out.”
“No,” he answers. “I’m going to take a few steps back, and you decide what you want to do, or we can wait for a bomb squad.”
“It’s not a bomb.”
“Then do what do you need to do. I trust you.”
You want him to leave but don’t want to be alone if this is the end. You tap the wall beside you and quickly realize that whatever this detonator is connected to is probably directly to your side, hidden between the studs.
“Can you- can you back up, like a lot?” you request. “I want to try something, but if I’m wrong, you can’t be this close.”
Deacon nods, taking about ten steps backward. He stops, his complete focus on you as he keeps a hand on his gun. Whatever happens, he’s prepared to rush toward you. Feeling helpless is something Deacon hasn’t felt in a very long time. He realizes you wouldn’t be in this position if he had done a better job protecting you and tries to find a way to take your place. He steps forward, but you raise a hand to stop him before speaking.
“I’m going to move backward, really fast,” you explain. “Last chance to leave, Deac.”
“Wait-“
You move your foot up, stepping back, your movements fast but not fast enough. Something sprays from the wall beside you and into your face. As you gasp for air, Deacon runs toward you, pulling you over his shoulders as he watches the floor. Rushing through the stash house, Deacon radios for Hondo to get an ambulance.
Bursting through the door, Deacon lowers you to the concrete and watches you. Your breaths are short gasps, and a bright red rash spreads across your chest and face. Deacon pulls your Kevlar vest over your head and tugs your shirt down, giving you more room to breathe and removing any pressure from your chest.
“What’d she get hit with?” Hondo asks, kneeling beside your head.
“I don’t know!” Deacon answers, not meaning to take out his fear on Hondo but failing to hide it. “Whatever it was came from the wall and she immediately started having trouble breathing.”
“This isn’t good,” Hondo adds. “Her airways are closing; we only have a few minutes to figure out what this is and counteract it.”
“We don’t have time for an ambulance,” Luca says. “Get in, Betty and I will get you there.”
Deacon nods and pulls you into his arms again before laying you on the floor of Black Betty and pulling your head into his lap.
“St. Stephen’s is the closest hospital,” Luca tells Street. “I need you to call ahead and give them as much information as you can. They’ll need to be ready.”
“I’m on it,” Street replies, moving into the backseat beside you and Deacon. He talks quickly and quietly to the doctors on the other end of the line, but when your gasps turn to strangled wheezes, he yells, “Just be ready!”
Luca pulls into the emergency room ambulance entrance a moment later, rushing to the back to open the doors. Several nurses take you from Deacon, put you on a gurney, and run into the hospital. Deacon runs behind them, leaving the rest of the team outside.
“How long has it been?” Hondo asks. “She only had eight minutes, tops.”
“Six since they came out,” Street answers, looking up from his watch. “If it’s too late, Deacon…”
“Will never forgive himself,” Luca finishes. “And we won’t either.”
Hondo’s phone chimes, and he looks at it before shaking his head, his jaw clenched as he makes a half-sigh, half-laugh sound. “Our guy just turned himself in. And Deac’s buddy Randy lied to them about who was in the house. They knew where we were the whole time.”
“We have to leave her?” Street asks.
“For a bit. We’ll get updates and come back later,” Luca answers. “She’ll be fine.”
As Street, Luca, and Hondo leave to return to HQ and question Randy and the original suspect, Simon, you’re surrounded by nurses and doctors. As you near the eight-minute mark, the doctors decide to run down a list of possible treatments.
“Symptoms align with benzene poisoning by inhalation,” someone comments.
“Intentional overdose?” a young woman in bright pink scrubs asks.
“Get her out of here!” a doctor snaps, glancing toward Deacon with an apologetic look.
“That explains the skin irritation, irregular heartbeats, and lung irritation may be the cause of the shortness of breath,” the first person continues. “That would have been an incredibly high, concentrated dose.”
“Whatever she got hit with was thick enough that I could see it standing five yards away,” Deacon offers.
“I’m calling it,” the chief doctor says, “benzene poisoning by inhalation. Get her on oxygen, clean her eyes and skin, and get these clothes off. We need to remove the outside traces and get her breathing regulated before we move on.”
The nurses jump to action, and Deacon steps back as you’re wheeled into a room. The doctor who sent the Barbie lookalike away opens the door to your room a few minutes later, gesturing for Deacon to step inside.
“Her breathing is regular, heart rate has returned to a stable, though slightly elevated, number, and we’re running some tests right now to check for long-term damage,” he explains.
Deacon keeps his eyes on you as he listens to the doctor, letting the steady rise and fall of your chest prove that you are okay, that you are alive. No thanks to Deacon. Immediately upon hearing that you may have long-term damage, Deacon lets himself remember that it is his fault you are in this hospital bed, on oxygen, and possibly in danger of losing your career. He should have been more careful, he thinks, done more to protect you.
“Sergeant, I’m unsure if it’s my place to say this, but you saved her life, so don’t allow yourself to think otherwise. I’ll be back in a bit to check in on her, but if you need anything, press that call button.”
“Thanks, doctor,” Deacon replies, his eyes still on you.
Deacon takes a seat in the chair beside your bed, forcefully tearing his eyes away from you to text Hondo and Luca that you’re stable but unconscious. They reply quickly, saying they’ll be back soon and asking for more updates as Deacon gets them. He hopes he won’t have to tell them about any permanent damage.
“Deac?” you mumble, your voice quiet and distorted by the oxygen mask covering your face.
“Hey,” he answers, dropping his phone into his lap as he leans toward you. “Let me tell someone you’re up.”
“Deac, wait,” you request. When he sits back down, you say, “Thank you. You saved my life.”
“I should’ve noticed that it was a trap,” Deacon argues.
“The doctors said it was benzene. That doesn’t kill you unless you have prolonged exposure or inhale an incredibly large dose. I would’ve died if you hadn’t been with me.”
“I think that’s the most you’ve ever said to me at once,” Deacon replies, hoping to lighten the mood.
“I- I’m really dizzy, Deac.”
“I’ll get the doctor,” Deacon replies, pushing the call button before he walks to the door and stops a nurse.
“Hi, I’m Doctor Grayson,” the doctor says as he enters your room, looking at your chart on a tablet. “You seem to be one lucky officer.”
“I’ve got a good team,” you answer, looking at Deacon’s hands rather than any of the faces in the room.
“Well, I understand you’re feeling dizzy and have a bit of a headache, so I’ll make this quick. Those symptoms should go away, but it may take up to a few weeks to see improvement there. Other common symptoms of benzene overdose include nausea, and the breathing difficulties you experienced was caused by lung irritation which may cause shortness of breath. Weakness is the only other symptom I’d expect to see. Since your exposure was so concentrated and delivered so quickly, I don’t think you’ll experience any of the more intense effects, but I’d like to keep you for observation for, let’s say 36 hours just to be sure we found everything.”
“Will I get completely better? Where I can go back to work at S.W.A.T.?” you whisper, even though you are terrified to learn the answer.
“Oh, I have no doubt you will be back in uniform within a month. Again, there’s only a few symptoms that may last, and at the most they should pass within a month.”
“Thank you.”
The doctor nods and hands Deacon a piece of paper before he leaves. Deacon returns to his spot beside you and looks at the paper before passing it to you.
“When you’re up for it, you’ve got some bed-bound exercises you can do to stay in fighting shape,” Deacon explains.
“Where are Hondo, Street, and Luca?” you inquire.
“They got our guy, so they went to interview him and Randy.”
“Randy lied, didn’t he?”
Deacon nods, and his jaw clenches as he realizes that Randy probably knew about the benzene trap and may have even been the one to set it up, yet let you go, knowing you were headed for a death trap.
“What happens when I get discharged?” you ask, looking at the blanket as you keep your head down.
“They’ll probably want you to take it easy for a few days, be around someone in case something happens, and then you can ease back into fieldwork. With your record and how much Hicks and Hondo trust you, you probably won’t have to wait long after you get medical clearance,” Deacon explains, smiling as he thinks about you getting back to work as soon as you can.
“I don’t have anyone,” you whisper.
Deacon doesn’t catch it, leaning closer to look at your list of exercises. When it’s time to go home, they may not let you because you live alone and don’t have any family nearby. You grow sad at the idea of going to a rehab facility or staying in the hospital longer just because you don’t have any family nearby to take care of you. Suddenly, your head begins pounding, and the room seems to spin. You raise your hands to your head, putting pressure on your eye sockets to ease the pain. Deacon’s hand jumps to your back, pressing against the top of your spine as you ride it out.
“I don’t like that,” you murmur, moving a hand to your stomach as it churns. “It’s going to be a long few weeks.”
“We’re going to make Randy and Simon pay for it, though,” Deacon whispers. “And we’re all here for you.”
You nod, and when Deacon leaves to answer a call from Hondo, your nausea worsens.
“Tell me they’re talking,” Deacon answers.
“Oh, they’re talking, just not giving us enough to put it on either one of ‘em,” Hondo answers. “I need you to do me a favor though.”
“Anything.”
“You and Randy had some kind of connection, however brief it was. We’re thinking if you come in and tell him she didn’t make it, he’ll give something up.”
Deacon looks back into your room, but you’re turned away, curled into the fetal position, and, unknown to Deacon, fighting to keep your bearings as the dizziness causes nausea and worsens your headache.
“I’ll be there in twenty,” Deacon replies.
“Sergeant, I’ve got her test results here,” Doctor Grayson says as he walks down the hall. “Everything looks good in the long-term, so we’re just going to have to wait out the side effects. I’m going to discuss continued care with her now, would you like to join?”
“I’ve got to get down to the station, but if you’ve got a-“
“Complete list of recommendations and necessary actions,” Doctor Grayson finishes, passing Deacon a paper. “Along with a few more low impact exercises, since she is clearly ready to get back to work.”
“Thank you, doc. I’ll be back in a bit.”
Doctor Grayson watches Deacon leave before knocking and entering your room.
“Sergeant Kay had to return to the station for a moment, but I have good news for you,” he begins.
You sit up against your pillows, giving him your full attention. Your mind wants to think about Deacon, curious about what he’s doing.
“I could use some good news,” you reply.
“Your test results look good, and I see no indications of long-term damage or complications. So, once these initial symptoms pass, you should be as good as before. What symptoms are you experiencing now?”
“Headache, dizziness, and nausea. Every once in a while it feels like my chest gets tight, but the dizziness is the worst.”
Doctor Grayson nods, pressing a button on his tablet. “I think you’re going to be ready for discharge tomorrow evening, as I said originally, I’d just like to observe you a bit longer and make sure nothing changes. You will need to have whoever you will be staying with complete the discharge paperwork; having someone nearby will be crucial to your recovery and ensuring those symptoms don’t get out of hand.”
“Yeah, I, uh, I don’t have any family nearby and there’s no one I can ask to take me in for who knows how long while I recover,” you explain softly.
“We’ll discuss this further in the morning, but my team and I will make sure you have somewhere safe and comfortable to stay, I promise that. I’ll be back once more before the end of my shift, but you know where the call button is.”
While you try to fall asleep, hoping it will help you heal faster and move on from the intense dizziness and nausea, Deacon is lying to criminals and hoping it will help you heal by getting some answers.
“Randy, remember my partner? The woman you helped me get out of the house this morning after you tried to kill her?” Deacon asks.
“Yeah, nice lady, but she can kick,” Randy replies.
“She died fifteen minutes ago. From an involuntary benzene poisoning. You know what that means, Randy? That someone poisoned her, murdered her, and is going to prison for a very long time.”
“Ooh,” Hondo adds, tilting his head in disbelief. “Cop killers never do well in prison, but when it’s one of our own? A S.W.A.T. officer? You’re dealing with a whole ‘nother set of problems in this room alone.”
“Benzene ain’t kill people after the first time,” Randy argues.
Deacon slaps the table as he leans over it. “You put enough benzene in that wall to kill me, Hondo here, and yourself, and you’re the only routine drug user in here.”
“Man, she really dead?”
“She is,” Hondo answers. “And now we have to tell her family, even though we’re grieving too.”
“I only did that ‘cause Simon told me to. He said it wouldn’t hurt nobody, just confuse ‘em or some’in. I ain’t mean’a kill nobody, specially not no cop!”
Deacon nods at Hondo before they walk out of the interview room, and Randy is left to wonder why they seemed so happy after learning that he set the trap that killed you. Across town at St. Stephen’s, you do feel like you’re dying just because you’re refusing to take more than anti-inflammatory pain relievers, unwilling to use anything stronger after years as a cop.
“Sergeant Kay will be back soon,” your nurse says. “He called and asked about you a few minutes ago. You must be very close.”
“We are. My team is the only family I have, but they’re also my best friends.”
“I didn’t mean your team. How are you feeling? Is the dizziness any better or worse?”
“It’s about the same,” you answer, forgetting her first point.
“Well, that’s good, at least it’s not worsening. We weren’t expecting a miraculous recovery this quickly, but Doctor Grayson wants us to give you as much time to sleep as we can, so you won’t have many, if any, middle of the night pokes and prods from us.”
“That sounds nice,” you answer with a small smile.
“I’ll leave you to rest until your friend gets back.”
You fall asleep before Deacon returns, and when he sees you resting, he texts Hondo an update and makes himself comfortable for a night at your side. There is a folder with Deacon's name on it on the small countertop in the corner of the room. Deacon opens it and finds a list of rehabilitation centers and a note that you can’t go home alone tomorrow before he decides to do something while you sleep. Deacon has been restless since the moment you alerted him to the traps set in the storehouse, but he finally has something to do that will help you.
“Excuse me,” he says, approaching the nurses’ station with a kind smile. “I’m Deacon Kay, I came in with-“
“My favorite patient,” the nurse finishes. “What can I do for you, Sergeant?”
“Doctor Grayson left this list of rehab clinics for me, but I’d like to take her home with me tomorrow. I don’t feel right sending her somewhere when I’ve got plenty of room.”
“And I have no doubt you will attend to her no matter what. If you fill out the discharge forms, she’s free to go with you when the doctor signs off. Doctor Grayson comes in at four, so he’ll be the one signing off.”
Deacon accepts the clipboard holding the discharge paperwork and takes it back to your room to complete it. The nurses watch him with smiles, able to tell that he’s more than a friend and protective as more than a teammate, even if he’s unwilling to admit it.
You whimper in your sleep, pressing your face into the cushion to relieve your headache. Deacon moves a hand onto your bed, only pulling it away from your side to flip to the next page of paperwork.
“When did you get back?” you ask into the pillow with your eyes closed.
“Not long ago. How are you feeling?” Deacon replies, smiling when you take his hand.
“The headache is getting worse.”
Deacon brushes his thumb over his knuckles as you curl tighter around the pillow.
“I’m sorry,” Deacon whispers.
“It’s not your fault, Deac. You saved my life,” you reply.
“Shouldn’t have endangered it.”
“Deacon-“
You get dizzy before you can say anything else, gently squeezing Deacon’s hand as you clamp your eyes shut. Deacon stands, laying his other hand on your shoulder as you wait for the dizziness to pass. You know now to expect the nausea that follows, but each time it happens, the nausea is less intense.
“Do you think it’ll really take weeks to feel better?”
“No,” Deacon answers. “You’re strong – and stubborn – so you’ll fight to get back in fighting shape.”
“It hurts.”
Deacon frowns but doesn’t apologize again, though he’s blaming himself for everything. Maybe having a soft spot for you, as the team so lovingly puts it, made him blind to certain dangers of working together. He trusts you and would do anything to protect you from the risks of being a S.W.A.T. officer; now, he wonders if being distracted by you made him stop thinking about what he could do for you.
“You should go home,” you say. “It’s getting late.”
“I’m not leaving you. I’ll be right here when you wake up, or if you want to stay awake.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” Deacon doesn’t add that despite how much he wants to, he needs to stay by your side and do what he couldn’t do earlier today: protect you and be there for you through all this pain and recovery.
When you wake again, the sun is up, and Deacon is no longer in your room. You can hear him talking, though, and when the door opens, he steps inside with Doctor Grayson.
“Good morning,” Doctor Grayson greets. “Are you ready to get out of here?”
Shrugging, you don’t want to bring up how sad you are to go spend the next few weeks alone in a rehab facility, which is arguably no better than a hospital.
“You did well last night, so I’m comfortable sending you home now, given that your discharge situation has changed.”
“It has?” you ask, looking at Deacon rather than the doctor.
“I’m taking you to my house,” Deacon explains. “Not for you, for Hondo. He needs hourly updates and none of the rehab places do that.”
You duck your chin, hiding from Deacon’s teasing as you smile. Part of you wants to insist Deacon doesn’t have to do this, but the other part desperately wants it.
“Are you sure?” you whisper.
“Positive.”
Deacon sets a backpack on your bed, gently taps your leg, and walks out to complete the discharge. You open the bag and smile when you see some of your clothes and a blanket. Standing carefully, you change into the clothes and wait at the edge of the bed for Deacon to return.
“Let’s go,” Deacon murmurs as he takes your hands.
Pulling your backpack over his shoulder, Deacon keeps a hand in yours as he walks beside your wheelchair. When you reach the hospital entrance, Deacon’s car is waiting, and he helps you into the passenger seat before setting your bag in the back and getting inside.
You close your eyes, your stomach churning and your head spinning as the car moves. Deacon offers a hand over the console, and you hold it as he drives through Los Angeles and to his house. Releasing a shaky breath as he parks, you squeeze his hand in thanks.
“It’s going to be a long few weeks for you,” you mumble.
“You’re wrong, but we’re not worrying about me. Our top priority is you and getting you healthy again. That means that you need to talk to me, even if you don’t want to, okay?”
You nod, and Deacon smiles as he argues, “That’s not talking.”
He gives you a break from his teasing and helps you inside before carrying a few bags in from the car. You recognize them and realize he must have gone to your place last night to get everything you’ll need over the next few weeks.
“Deac, why’d you go back to the station yesterday?” you ask, reclining on his guest bed while he unpacks your bags.
He points to the water bottle beside the bed, waiting until you start drinking to say, “Hondo had an idea to flip Randy, and it worked. He gave up his boss, and they found enough evidence to charge both of them with a long list of felony charges.”
“What was his plan?” Deacon doesn’t answer, so you ask, “You told him I died?”
“Yeah,” Deacon says softly.
You nod before you move to the edge of the bed. Deacon rushes to your side as you stand and wobble slightly. As he grips your arms, you lean your head against his shoulder, taking deep breaths as your heartbeat pounds in your ears.
“Do you still get nauseous after this happens?” Deacon whispers, rubbing his hands over your shoulders.
“No,” you reply. “That passed after the first few hours. Now I just have a headache that won’t go away and get really dizzy. It’s random, so I don’t know when to expect it.”
Deacon nods and makes a mental note to keep a very close eye on you, especially when you’re up and moving around. Deacon's heart breaks as he watches you be affected by something he should have never let happen. Watching you be poisoned, being helpless in the hospital, and feeling like he can’t do enough to help you is weighing on Deacon, but he can’t worry about himself when you’re struggling because of him.
“Stop,” you demand, so softly that Deacon barely hears it.
“Stop what?” he asks.
“You’re blaming yourself. I could tell from the moment you turned around in that house. There’s nothing you could have done, Deacon, to keep this from happening, but you saved my life. So, please stop blaming yourself and thinking about what you could’ve done differently.”
Deacon thinks about everything you said, and his mind lingers on how your shyness was nowhere to be seen as you asked him to stop blaming himself. You read him with no effort, and the realization makes him smile.
“I’ll try. But only if you promise to talk to me, really talk to me, and let me know what’s going on,” Deacon offers.
“Deal. Right now, the floor is kind of spinning, but I need to walk around because everything is stiff.”
“I got you,” Deacon murmurs, letting you hold onto him as you walk around his house. You know he means it in more than the obvious way; he’s always had you and always will.
“Why’d you stay?” you ask. “In the hospital, I mean. And then you brought me here. If you did it just because you blame yourself-“
“Not at all. I was blaming myself, you’re right about that, but I did this because I care about you. That soft spot that the guys tease me about… that’s you. So, when I get overbearing and protective and everything else you’re going to see over the next few weeks, just know that it’s because I care about you.”
“I’m your soft spot? Because we’re friends?”
Deacon smiles, letting you lead him toward the patio door. “Something like that.”
Your breathing catches, and you stop to take a few shaky breaths before returning to your normal breathing patterns. Deacon rubs his hand up and down your spine as he waits, hovering nervously beside you.
“The headache is a little better,” you tell him. “Either walking around or your touch is curing me.”
“Why not both?”
You smile before looking away from Deacon. He walks you back to the bedroom and digs through one of your bags before handing you a piece of paper. While you look at the exercises depicted on the therapy list, you lean back against the pillows, tired and experiencing the worst headache of your life.
“Don’t rush anything,” Deacon says. “You’re already getting better, but don’t risk that trying to heal on your schedule.”
“What does ‘something like that’ mean?” you murmur. “About why we’re friends and I’m your soft spot.”
“It means that you’re my soft spot because we’re friends for now.”
“You don’t want to be friends forever?”
Deacon chuckles and sits on the edge of the bed as he answers, “Not really. I’ve always wanted more.”
You sit up quickly and wince in pain. You don’t hesitate before asking, “You do?”
“Are you okay?” You shrug, and Deacon answers, “Yeah. You’re my friend, but, c’mon, you couldn’t tell?”
“I thought you were just being nice, protecting me because we’re teammates.”
“That’s part of it. But even if you left S.W.A.T. today, I’d still be right here.”
“If I didn’t know you, I’d think that’s why you’re so upset,” you muse. “But you’re just a great man.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
You shake your head and look away from Deacon.
“Could we- could we try to be more? After I’m back in fighting shape?”
Deacon smiles, leaning closer to you as he promises, “Yes. Just tell me when.”
You lean back, huffing when your headache worsens suddenly.
“I thought the Hondo-induced headaches were bad, but this makes them seem easy.”
“I’m telling Hondo you said that.”
“No, you aren’t. You know I’m shy and injured.”
“You haven’t been acting very shy.”
“Because I’m disoriented and have a crush on you,” you mumble as you drift to sleep.
“I’ll be right here when you wake,” Deacon whispers.
“And every day after?”
“And every day after,” he promises, smiling as you fall into a restful sleep.
Deacon has no doubt you’ll be back to yourself in a few days, meaning his advances will make you shy, but, for now, he’s happy waiting on you hand and foot, doing everything he can to help and keep you comfortable.
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