#source: shameless

[daddiesdrarryy]

Lucius: The Malfoys don’t bottom!

Harry: Wow, was Draco adopted?

Narcissa: Were you adopted?

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Y/N: Damn, man. You need friends that aren’t Ned

Peter: I have friends that aren’t Ned

Y/N: Uh-huh? Like who? Don’t say me

Peter: You

Peter: Alright, what friends have you got? Don’t say me

Y/N: You

Peter: See? Neither of us have friends

[hawkinsincorrect]

Robin: Damn, man. You need friends that aren’t Dustin.

Steve: I have friends that aren’t Dustin.

Robin: Uh-huh? Like who? Don’t say me.

Steve: You.

Steve: Alright, what friends have you got? Don’t say me.

Robin: You.

Steve: See? Neither of us have friends.

[harringroveera]

Max: Give me a heads-up next time so I don’t have to listen to you two through the wall

[shipsdoishipidk]

Jason: *watching Dick laughing with Wally who's making moves on him* Jason: *to Artemis and Bizarro* Alright, quick, tell me how to find a new best friend for my wife.

[spiltinksky]

Wonwoo: Damn, man. You need friends that aren’t Seokmin.

Chan: I have friends that aren’t Seokmin.

Wonwoo: Uh-huh? Like who? Don’t say me.

Chan: You.

Chan: Alright, what friends have you got? Don’t say me.

Wonwoo: You.

Chan: See? Neither of us have friends.

[addicted-to-his-knife]

Doctor: I have never seen such a spectacular display of zydrate addiction.

Amber: Thank you.

[thingsoverheardatua]

Villain: Least you can do is have the twink suck me off. [nods towards Midoriya]

Todoroki: That’s all you think he is? Some twink?

Villain: He gave me blue balls.

Bakugou: Did he? [knees him in the crotch] Now they’re black and blue balls.

[montgomerydadbodyscotty]

Bones: Damn man, you do need friends who aren't Spock.

Kirk: I have friends who aren't Spock.

Bones: Uh huh, like who?... Don't say me.

Kirk: You. And what friends have you got? Don't say me.

Bones: You.

Kirk: See, neither of us have friends.

[dcau-incorrect-quotes]

Two Face: Name 3 branches of government

Poison Ivy: Pentagon, DMV, and cops.

[daddiesdrarryy]

Ron: I’m sorry, you’re not my type, Lavender

Lavender: Bet I could be!

Ron: Bet you couldn’t.

Lavender: What’s your type?

Ron: Brown eyes.

Lavender: Mine’s hazel. Close enough.

Ron: Rich enough to buy Hogwarts.

Lavender: My parents are!

Ron: Packing nine inches.

Lavender: …

Ron: Yeah! Nine!

Lavender: …okay then

[incorrectgotgquotes]

Rocket: I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is ‘fuck you’.

[hawkinsincorrect]

Nancy: Name three branches of government.

Steve: Pentagon, DMV, and cops.

[harringroveera]

Harringrove + Shameless

Bonus

[shipsdoishipidk]

Lian: Hey, doing anything this afternoon? Damian: Todd. We need a coach for the co-ed youth football team. Jason: Does Dick go to the games? Lian: Never misses one. Jason: Call me "Coach"

[totallycorrectresidentevil]

Piers: I have never seen such a spectacular display of alcoholism.

Chris: Thank you.